I've been working as a junior digital marketing officer in a medium-sized European company for over a year. But here's the thing: I'm the only one on the team, so I do a lot of different tasks. I plan out my week carefully, doing stuff like social media, sending emails, and working on SEO. I also do graphic design using tools like Illustrator, Photoshop, After Effects, and more for both online and offline stuff.
Even though I have a Master's degree in Marketing and Operational Management, I've been getting extra qualifications in digital marketing for the past three years. I've covered things like Emailing, managing social media, looking at data, improving websites for search engines, and creating content.
Right now, I'm in charge of all the digital marketing for my company, and things are going okay. But deep down, I don't feel like a full-on Digital Marketing officer. I believe I could do more, but since I've never really been part of a bigger digital marketing team, it's tough to figure out how.
To stay on top of things, I watch videos from experts every day, and I keep getting more qualifications. But I worry that won't be enough forever.
I've even thought about doing another degree in Digital Marketing at a local university to try and fill this gap. But I'm not sure if it'll just be more theory, like the online courses I've done.
Basically, Ultimately, I crave the experience of being part of a seasoned team to pinpoint my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. However, leaving my current job is challenging due to financial constraints, even though the salary is average. Plus, navigating the job market with non-European credentials/diplomas and only Coursera certifications adds another layer of complexity. Please does anyone have any advice for me?

I have a 2 year old girl. Shes has great communication skills and can understand most things said to her.
Shes a good girl most of the time, but as all 2 year old, she is definantly entering her 'terrible twos'. My goal is to teach her how to cope with her emotions in a healthy way. This is hard for my partner and i as we were never taught, so we are teaching ourselves as well (to clarify, we dont lose our tempers with her, although we express mad and frustration at behaviours shes done). We get her to talk about her emotions and to talk about causes for her feeling and how we can help feel better. But it does seem she is just under the developmental stage of recognising why she is feeling bad properly. We do time-outs when she is especially naughty, like deliberate hitting, then after we sit together and discuss how it made me (mum) feel, how it made her feel, what she was feeling when she did it and why, and then make up to feel happy again, and move on. The thing is, she is now okay with time-outs, doesnt seem phased by them like she use to, is happy to sit there, and gets abit giddy when its over. It feels like things dont sink in for her, and im not sure what else to do?!
We try to do more positive reinforcement rather than negative or positive punishment (psychology terms). Im in the process of trying no attention, as i know she does naughty stuff like spitting on the floor after teeth brushing, instead of the sink and saying "look mummy, i spit on the floor" for attention, but this can take time to see effect, so its been frustrating. And for some things it feels you cant ignore, like throwing dinner on the floor to rouse a reaction.
I also think im messing up on the coping skills for emotions, as when she is in meltdown, she resfuses anything suggested, i try distracting which can work sometimes, but i dont want to promote ignoring the feelings.
Please any advice would be great as i honestly have no clue how to raise an emotionally intellegent child. Im doing my best but it doesnt feel like enough.

I've always been interested in natural remedies and the idea of growing my own herbs, but I never felt confident enough to take the plunge. The Medicinal Garden Kit, however, has changed all that. Over the past few weeks, I've been thoroughly impressed with how easy and rewarding it has been to cultivate my own little patch of natural wellness.
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There's something for pretty much every common ailment, and the included brochure provides a helpful guide to each plant's uses and benefits. Whether you're looking to soothe a headache, ease digestion, or simply add a touch of homegrown goodness to your cooking, the Medicinal Garden Kit has you covered.
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I was pleasantly surprised by how straightforward the planting process was. The kit includes everything you need to get started, including a seed packet for each herb, along with coir pots, plant markers, and a bag of organic fertilizer. The instructions are clear and concise, even for complete gardening novices like myself.
Within a few short days, I had my little herb seedlings sprouting away on my windowsill. It's been incredibly rewarding to watch them grow, and it's given me a newfound appreciation for the time and care that goes into cultivating fresh produce.
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Not only are the herbs in the Medicinal Garden Kit beneficial for your health, but they also add a touch of beauty and life to your home. The lush green foliage and fragrant scents create a calming and inviting atmosphere, and it's a joy to have a little piece of nature thriving indoors.
I've found myself using fresh herbs more often in my cooking, and it's amazing to be able to snip a sprig of rosemary or thyme straight from my windowsill. The kit also includes attractive plant markers, so you can easily identify each herb as it grows.
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One of the things I love most about the Medicinal Garden Kit is that it provides a sustainable source of natural remedies. With proper care, many of the herbs in the kit are perennials, which means they'll come back year after year. This means you can enjoy the health benefits of homegrown herbs for seasons to come, without having to repurchase seeds each year.
The Medicinal Garden Kit is a fantastic option for anyone interested in natural wellness, sustainable living, or simply adding a touch of greenery to their home. It's a great way to learn about medicinal herbs and plants, and it's incredibly rewarding to cultivate your own little patch of natural medicine.
I highly recommend this kit to anyone who wants to take charge of their health and well-being in a natural way.

Please help me figure this one out... 🙏
I'm F30, I met this M23 on a dating app. I know, I know... What a gap. Anyway. Instant insane connexion. Definitely one of the special encounters, we tick all of each other's boxes on every level, which I think caught us both by surprise and actually scared us a bit because of how fast we were falling for each other.
After the first date (6 hours of talking in the park, then food, then wine at his place), out of himself, he told me he was "totally down to not date anybody else" and on the third, again out of himself, that he's "ready to invest his energy, time and being in me/us. I'm ready to delete the app, and I'm not asking you to do the same back."
"Great, I thought, finally a healthy, emotionally mature guy who knows what he wants and does what it takes to get it!". 😁
I kissed him on the third date (a few hours before his speech) and we hadn't had sex yet. He was never a big texter though and he told me he liked to have alone time because he is an introvert. For me it's hard because I am a passionate person but I respect that.
As I was leaving after our 3rd date, he asked me "let me know when you wanna meet up next week to study together" and I said "well it will have to be after Thursday" and when he replied "oh.." I could tell he might be a little disappointed that it would be in so long. But I didn't say anything. Later that evening (Saturday) he texted me ('hey, I've done this, eaten that, good night') and I... Well... I didn't reply until the next Friday. I know it's long... But I thought that he would be happy to have some space cause we had just spent a whole 24 hours together.
So on Friday I called him, he didn't pick up, but we texted for a bit. The next day we don't text at all and I feel I'm gonna explode... I NEED closeness with him! I text him that I wanna see him, he invites me over, I go to his place.
There - fasten your seat belt - not only do I learn that he had had a date with someone else during the week, but he also had sex with her. 🥳 I asked why and he said "because I felt rejected, and my pride was telling me not to double text you because I thought you would perceive me as weak." Of course I held a whole speech about that going after what you want is exactly what makes you strong, that it's easier to fuck a random stranger or run away from things than taking the phone, swallowing your pride, owning and admitting your feelings and being open, honest and vulnerable. It takes strength and courage to do that. He didn't really say anything to this.
Keep your seat belt on. I asked for a cigarette (I quit a long time ago but fuck it). We went on the balcony and his male flatmate (never seen before) came out to smoke as well. I started to look at him and devour him with my eyes. I wanted to just go kiss him right there in front of that A** but I refrained myself. The roommate went back in, I went to the toilet, A** went to his room. Believe it or not. When I came out of the bathroom the ROOMMATE opened his door and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. I grabbed his hole hand instead of just the paper, pulled him towards me and kissed the shit out of him. He pulled me in his room, closed the door and after a moment asked "are you sure it does not bother him?" "hahaha no don't worry, he doesn't care!" "Are you sure?" "Should we go ask him?". I go to A's room and say "hey... Do you mind if I have sex with your roommate right now?" He bugged. Froze. "Yeah, sure...". I go back to roommate and make out again for another 15 minutes or so. We end up on his bed, I am so not horny but I act like he's the best man in the world. Then I ask "do you have a condom though?" "No.. Do you?" "Oh, no... But I know who might" "😏... Ok go ask him". So I go back and say "sorry, do you have a condom?" "of course, how many do you want? Should I give you two?" "ah... I think three or four should be better" "you're getting two". I go back to roommate's, make out again and then said "oh wait sorry, I forgot something..." and leave the room. I went back to A's, he's on his bed, laptop on the lap, phone in the hands, headphones in the ears. I sit, close his computer, look at him straight in the eye and ask "what does this make you feel?".
And so we started talking. We talked for like 5 hours, until 7 in the morning. And even though there were little hints of "I would like to see you again but I don't know if you would" here and there, it didn't feel like he was making enough effort to fix the mess he made, the trust he betrayed, he never asked for forgiveness or a second chance. In fact he seemed quite numb and apathetic to be honest. He opened up like crazy about his past and deep thoughts though. I realized he has abandonment issues and big old fear of rejection. He has no one and is lonely. I asked him "do you think you might have done what you did because you got scared by the fact that you finally met someone reliable, honest, and trustworthy?" "self sabotage? Yeah... I do that a lot."
I start to get ready to leave, he stands up and comes towards me for a hug, but I stepped back. He says 'ok'. I say "You know.. I just don't get it why you would do something like this after you told me you were ready to not date anybody, delete the app..." "yeah, in the end I deleted it and downloaded it again." "No you didn't." "How do you know?" "Tell me when you did it" "well... Two days after we first met." "But... It was after our 3rd date that you told me you would do it" "oh... Well then I guess I didn't." "Are you lying to me right now?" "Yeah... Yeah actually that was a lie right there...".
More blabla. In the end, he was just getting really tired and couldn't really function properly anymore. He said we could call to talk about this more. Shortly after, I just left, without goodbye.
I know he will never call me back because yeah... He doesn't really fight for what he wants. So... Should I?

Advice needed for a 37M solo first timer!
I've always wanted to do a cruise, but never had the opportunity until now. I'm newly single, and from what I can tell, VV seems to be the right fit in terms of age (37 years old) and catering for a solo traveller who's open to socialise and have fun, but who isn't at the upper end of party animal. However, I am open to advice and experiences from more experienced cruisers.
What cruiselines have you done that you'd recommend for my own wants and needs? A line that makes it easy to socialise would definitely be near the top of my priorities.
How do you go about meeting and mixing with other passengers? On board activities? Excursion groups on shore?
I initially looked at 14 day cruises (I like a proper 'break' from work), but 7 seems more common and also recommended. Thoughts?
And finally, does cabin choice make a big difference?
Open to any other newbie advice, and hoping to be more active if/when I choose and book my first cruise.

....
https://zenodo.org/records/6210570
https://ibb.co/0V8yCGB
https://ibb.co/JvncMQ4
https://ibb.co/pLc96p2
https://ibb.co/NVq0CFk
https://ibb.co/sFy0xDY
She looks like Jennifer Doudna, literally:
https://ibb.co/gD5rPy9
What if?
What if the lipo-nanoparticles and the ACE2 gene-silencing CRISPR RNA-gene-drive 'inoculation' program are part of Club of Rome's Odum's "reduce America's population by 2/3rds hopefully voluntarily by 2030?" What if this was and will become Utopia? What if Deagel's 2025 population statistics that accounts for this 2/3rds population reduction, which was sponsored by Kissinger, the Rockefeller foundation and Edwin Deagle Jr., knows more about this?
https://ibb.co/Pr9YffM

"The analysis of the SARS-CoV-2 structure in light of the functioning of the CRISPR-Cas9, Cas12a and CasX mechanism suggests that the virus is man-made through genetic modification. [...] Covid is not acting like other viruses and many various symptoms in human body have been observed. [...] The modifications in the backbone’s phosphate group induced by CRISPR engineering create a highly imbalanced state. The entropy and therefore the repulsion forces strongly dominate in this type of virus."

What if they gave you AIDS and sterilized you? What if the optimal CRISPR-Cas9 lock-on markers out of any nGG, ie markers for future gene editing, was part of the plan? And hopefully none of this is sexually transmissible. Sticking a peen in an Extinction Level Event... is it worth the risk? We should ask Ian this. He did look grayer after screwing Jessica.
https://ibb.co/bvcf1F7
https://ibb.co/b2JcCS1
https://ibb.co/3TK03M0
https://ibb.co/HPs7nX8
https://ibb.co/Rvb0ZDB
Utopia (UK):

• "SARS doesn't exist."
  
• "The planet can support only 1 billion."
  
• "We leave 5 to 8% unaffected."
  
• "Janus consists of protein and an amino-acid." (CRISPR)
  

I chose my own people."

Spikeopathy’: COVID-19 Spike Protein Is Pathogenic, from BOTH Virus and Vaccine mRNA

https://mdpi.com/2227-9059/11/8/2287

The modification of mRNA with N1-methylpseudouridine for increased stability leads to the production of spike proteins for months.'

Uncanny similarity of unique inserts in the 2019-nCoV spike protein to HIV-1 gp120 - withdrawn (January 2020)

https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.01.30.927871v1

Amino acid residues in all the 4 inserts have identity or similarity to those in the HIV-1 gp120 or HIV-1 Gag."

What's the common denominator? European DNA. The injection is ethnically adjusted to deplete ACE2-expression of European DNA but not those carry k26r polymorphism, ie. Ashkenazi J's and the Amish.
https://ibb.co/2KNmdCH
Where is ACE2 located? Also in mitochondria, the cell's battery. Why cancer? CRISPR, mitochondria and p53 disruption, oxidative stress. Once modRNA gets into cells, they're released to hijack cell's machinery to produce full-spike proteins, endlessly. Spike proteins downregulate ACE2-protein expression of mitochondrias and silence p53 the guardian of genome. And the CRISPR Cas9/Cas12a awaits for gRNA to act.
An idea of giving cells the instructions to synthesize pathogenic spike-protein to develop immunity is imbecilic in the first place. But urging people to get one without a prescription promising getting back to normal (that's been destroyed for this purpose) - a crime.
But Rockefeller's (Rockefellos) Cub of Rome would never think of doing anything like this. The network in Utopia is fictional, right? Read Kissinger report, read the Jaffe memo!
Rockefeller's Population Council:

"fertility control agent' designed to lower fertility in the society by 5 to 75% less than a present birth rate; to be included in water supply in urban areas." (1969).

https://ibb.co/7gJBNwq
https://ibb.co/Wk9CWhz
https://ibb.co/kQkHmkk
https://ibb.co/Q8dw9QN
https://ibb.co/drTNH1n
https://ibb.co/N2p6vms
You see, just like women refused to smoke in public until they saw it as a form of liberation. Covid is our liberation. If things go to plan. We won't know for many years.
The public would never support the most powerful men working to reduce the numbers of the "lower class" until we saw OURSELVES as a deadly virus to the planet. That's been the goal from the get-go.
In the population control document that Rockefellers sponsored it suggests multiple methods of involuntary sterilization such as adding “fertility control agents” to water supplies, temporary sterilization of all young women “via time-capsule contraceptives,” and compulsory sterilization of men with three or more children.
Those are just ideas they floated, it's not like they ever funded or implemented them. It's not like they made an anti-fertility vaccine! They did.

Its not like they ever went thru with an actual involuntary roll out of this tho, we woulda heard about it!

You might have seen this 2014 story "debunked." In 2014, Kenyan doctors found traces of HCG in Tetanus vaccines being distributed by WHO/funded by Gates. Why is this important?
HCG is the same pregnancy hormone that is used in conjunction with Tetanus in that SAME ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION FUNDED INDIAN INFERTILITY VACCINE. Doctors in the Philippines and Mexico also claimed to have found HCG in their WHO distributed Tetanus vaccines in the 90s (they did). The WHO didn't fund the development of that Indian vaccine (BECAUSE THE ROCKEFELLER FOUNDATION DID)!
https://ibb.co/cyXwns8
https://ibb.co/y5QVdc6
https://ibb.co/bXNNmhS
https://ibb.co/bKfNqrf
It is important to note that this Anti-fertility vaccine has been in development since 1988 thru 2014 to this day.
It does appear as if the Rockefellers have implemented their "involuntary fertility control" and have used Tetanus vaccines as cover to test this pet project of theirs, but that's speculation.
The goal of the network also reminds me of "Children of Men," originally published in 1992 and set in England in 2021.
https://ibb.co/V3fyDKH

"Armageddon Begins - Russian Detonates Nuclear Bomb, Kazakhstan Annihilated." The newspaper reads in opening of the film.
Children of Men' (2006) Plot - In the year 2027, after 18 years of total human infertility, war and global depression have pushed society to the point of collapse as humanity faces extinction.

Did you know that "Children of Men" was written by Phyllis Dorothy James, referencing Pat Frank's "Mr. Adam" and "Alas, Babylon" written back in 1950s?
Given the quality of sperm declining due to fluoride, chemical exposure and such, and mRNA-medicine affecting fertility of men and women, that's the exact match.
Joel E Cohen, the Rockefeller University Professor on Population heavily acknowledged the significant drop in fertility rate of white populations in US and EU, explaining driven immigration to sustain the level and boost 'economic prosperity.' As the saying goes, Just as the Egyptians made G‑d’s firstborn (the Israelities) suffer, G‑d punished - measure for measure - the Egyptians’ firstborn. All the firstborn would lose the life-energy that until then kept them alive." This is the 188th Mitzvah and accompanies the gene drive which is Janus to a T. Bye, bye!
https://ibb.co/y41N4NK
https://ibb.co/vBdPw1x
https://ibb.co/rdtvXDH

Angiotensin-converting enzymes (ACE) play a dominant role in fertility (2013):

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24152441/
To solve population bomb, just sterilize the entire world with:

• release bioengineered disease binding and exploiting ACE2
  
• silence gene expression through CRISPR-Cas9 mRNA
  

https://ibb.co/L69ngrf
https://ibb.co/mFdwT9S
https://ibb.co/7bzKWZj
https://ibb.co/Y2Bmtp4
https://ibb.co/rbT0hbf
https://ibb.co/Cs33JWK
https://ibb.co/9wS8cfz
https://ibb.co/WpQcVZH
https://ibb.co/XZWnnqF
https://ibb.co/ZcHB5D6
https://ibb.co/tMS5nMq
https://ibb.co/FKggvdg
Presented for your viewing:
https://ibb.co/wrz03dk
https://ibb.co/JWZt7bL
https://ibb.co/qnSyYVp

CRISPCas9 gene drives in genetically variable and nonrandomly mating wild populations (2017)

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28560324/

A drive targeting Ace2 might therefore conceivably be used for direct population suppression.”

DARPA invests $100m in gene-drive technology - new gene-editing technology, which many people fear could lead to deliberate and unintended damage on a huge scale (2017):
https://eandt.theiet.org/content/articles/2017/12/darpa-invests-100-million-in-gene-drive-technology/…
Harvard, Wyss Institute - CRISPR-Cas9: Gene-drive:
https://wyss.harvard.edu/media-post/crispr-cas9-gene-drives/

Little is known about the role of p53 in the regulation of ACE2. An earlier study reported that p53 suppresses the replication of coronavirus through ACE2 degradation in humans.”

https://researchgate.net/publication/350180861_A_tissue-_and_gender-specific_regulation_of_the_SARS-CoV-2_receptor_ACE2_by_p53_in_pigs
https://ibb.co/wzxtjHh
https://ibb.co/8mJ455t
And to conclude, Epstein associate George Church, who said arranged marriages using gene sequencing as Haredim have been doing is ideal; Epstein associate Martin Nowak - Evolutionary dynamics of CRISPR-Cas9 gene drives (2016)...
https://biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/057281v1.full
...with Matthew Liao, want to design humans using gene editing.
https://ibb.co/QdqsfyJ
https://ibb.co/zQv8rDs
https://ibb.co/PQtDgvh
https://ibb.co/jDQkB7x
https://ibb.co/TR023k6
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bioe.12519

The Rockefeller Foundation - Bionics, Transhumanism, and the End of Evolution (2019):

https://foresightfordevelopment.org/video-library/bionics-transhumanism-and-the-end-of-evolution
Here's the end; how fun it will be, how fun, indeed:
https://ibb.co/8rbdNzY
In Grant's drawings it says they put the ghost cell in the buffalo and the man eats the buffalo and rots. People won't physically rot from consuming the food, they'll just be sterilized when they take the vaccine, or they will, because Prions.
Like I'm crazy so don't take too much of what is posted here that seriously, but do if your life depends on it.
Utopia experiments manuscript was the plot for 2025. I'm shaking in my socks.

Before I get things started, I’d like to say that I(22M) am from a rather conservative country, I am a virgin, and this is my first relationship.
It’s been around 6 months since I started dating my 22F girlfriend, we have a 1000km distance, but we’re both students and are not financially independent yet. I just needed some advice as I just feel like this keeps going around my head and I’d like to articulate it better for myself while receiving advice from the more experienced people on this subreddit.
To start things off, This isn’t my girlfriend’s first relationship and she’s been in relationships for a while now, she started dating somewhat young (for my country at least, or maybe I have been too closed off to realize) and she said she’s had sex from a year or two and has had a few ex-boyfriends she’s mentioned to me before whom she slept with and she’s also had a few friends with benefits (I found out about this later)..
I knew she wasn’t a virgin before we started dating and It does not matter to me if she wasn’t a virgin, because she’s dating me and choosing me and I do have some self-confidence and am a bit secure with who I am to let it bother me much.
I love her a lot and would love if this relationship lasted a long time and even hope to marry her and build a home with her someday.
Around 2 months back, she told me that she did not want to sleep with me till we got married and when I first heard this, I was quite taken aback, especially since I didn’t think she cared much about that due to her history and I don’t care much about it either (I’ve had my share of mental issues and felt that it wouldn’t be right to date anyone with those level of issues, so decided to not date anyone till I met her..).
This turned into a somewhat large argument and we were supposed to have a few days free and were planning on talking and video calling for those days, but we ended up arguing a bit, I was just feeling very mentally messed up and trying to process everything and I did get a bit cold and kind of withdrew into myself.
When I asked her for the reason, she said she didn’t know and then later said that she wanted a serious relationship with me and “I’m not like her playboy ex-boyfriends”and that she “doesn’t want to introduce me as a person she slept with to her parents” and wants to “respect them by not sleeping with me” while these ideas aren’t too uncommon amongst the younger generation of my country, I didn’t think she would have such thoughts because then why do it with a few others and then not with me? (I don’t think I am entitled to sleep with her, nor do I feel it’s my right or anything like that, I wouldn’t want her to do anything with me if she doesn’t wish to, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I forced someone into having sex with me when they don’t want to.)
When we went further into this discussion, she asked me if sex was something so important to me and if I just wanted her for her body and not for who she is and that kind of things, which made little sense to me, as why would I be in a LDR if I just wanted sex?
Anyways, after a while, she kept apologizing and was like if you want to we can do it. (and that wasn’t the conclusion I wanted, I just wanted her to tell me some real reason why she doesn’t want to do anything with me, I forgot to mention, but she called our relationship an online one and that hurt me quite a bit (she later said that she didn’t mean it that way and meant it as a LDR).
After a day or two, I kind of decided to just not think about it, because she just kept apologizing and I felt like I was hurting her by continuing the topic.
A few weeks after she talks about the house of some guy she was “more than friends with” I didn’t know about this before and thought she only had sex in relationships (again, my country is quite conservative and maybe I am too closed off** to have had considered this before) and that kind of got to me, because whenever she said anything about people wanting her only for her body and that kind of stuff, I kind of felt like she was coerced into sleeping with her ex-boyfriends (I understand that I might have tried to rationalize what was going on and made up stories), and imo a friends with benefits is where you just have sex and it’s quite consensual, to say the least.
Now, a week back, I just wanted to bring this topic up again and I kind of messed up with the timing as we both were quite tired and I hadn’t slept properly in a while.. at the same time, I was feeling a bit guilty because I did fantasize about sleeping with her when we met even though I agreed to her boundary.
She told me she was confused and why I still thought about this topic and stuff like that and she asked me if I “didn’t like anything else about her apart from her body” and “what would I do if she had any physical deformities and she couldn’t have sex with me”( she said this when we first spoke on this too), she then said that she isn’t a touch person like I am and me thinking about such things out of the blue is quite strange to her.
All this has kind of led me to feel like I am ugly (which I don’t feel anymore, apart from the occasional intrusive thought) and whether she doesn’t want to sleep with me because she thinks I’m not the right person for her or maybe she thinks I am not good enough and so on...
She later said that she doesn’t want to have sex because she hates her body and how she looks and that she is carrying trauma from her past relationships because her ex-boyfriends slept with her and left her, I obviously understand this.. till a few days later she again said that we wouldn’t have sex till marriage. So I don’t know what’s really going on in her mind. Is she uncomfortable with me?
I understand that this might be a “Me” problem or something I am doing wrong or just overthinking and over analysing things and ending up with a wrong conclusion. I’m just confused I guess.
TLDR: My long-distance girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me even though she has had sex before (She later (after a month, when asked) said it is because she hates her body*). I felt hurt by this and it makes me feel very unwanted. I love her and I want to be with her, but I keep thinking about this and it’s making me lose my self-esteem and confidence as I feel like I am not good enough.
*I felt not including this in the TLDR would make it seem as though I am only telling my side of the story
**by closed off I mean I’m quite introverted and just stay home a lot and my parents are somewhat strict too (her parents are much stricter btw)..
I don’t know what I should do, I love her and I understand where she’s coming from, but this is kind of eating at me, whenever I feel low or am having a slightly bad mental health day my feelings of being not good enough or not the right person or that I am not wanted keeps creeping back up and starts shaving away at my self-esteem and the more I think about it the worse I feel.
Should I just stop thinking about this and pretend everything is okay with me? Am I not understanding enough? Do you think I can do something better? Should I talk about this topic again? (my girlfriend has exams for a few weeks now, so I would most likely hold off the topic until then, at the same time I might go to see her in June and I don’t know how that would work if we have such a conversation before this.)

Introduction

In this post, we'll be discussing something called "Virtue Ethics." This is a normative theory of ethics that's most associated with Aristotle, though has in recent times experienced a resurgence of sorts from modern philosophers, some of whom have tweaked and modified it, and in doing so have created different branches on this tree of moral theory. We will be comparing these different flavors of Virtue Ethics to that of the New Testament's, pointing out where they're similar, as well as highlighting where the NT differs (and is actually superior) from the heathens' views.
I want to preface all this with a verse and a warning:

"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ."-Colossians 2:8

The entire Bible, over and over again, warns against syncretism. It's a running theme throughout to condemn the practice, with this verse being one of the more explicit ones to do so.
Mapping the ideas of Pagans (and especially Greek philosophers) onto the Scriptures has always resulted in people severely misinterpreting the Bible, as looking at the Word of God through a Hellenistic lens is and always has been extremely innapropiate to the author's original intent.
Whenever Greek philosophy or ideas are referenced, they're always portrayed in a bad light or otherwise used to make a point. Examples of the latter could be found in the apostle Paul's writings, as he was a fully educated Roman citizen of his day, and so he made use of known Hellenestic philosophy and literature (that he would have been familiar with) by redefining their terms and ideas in a way that would be consistent with the theology of his own religion. The apostle Peter did the same within his own epistles whenever he mentioned "Tartarus," the abyss/prison for certain disobedient angels that rebelled against God, despite the fact that the word has its roots in Greek mythology and not Hebrew religion (though, the belief that there were a group of spiritual beings that rebelled against the highest authority in the heavens was one technically shared between the two ancient cultures; even if the parties involved were vastly different, as well as the contexts of the rebellion itself).
The affect Hellenstic philosophy has had on the way people think (even subconsciously) can still be felt to this day, and can be seen in the confusion modern "Christianity" has brought on through its adoption of Gnostic teachings such as Dualism or the inherently fatalistic views that many unknowingly hold due to the error of Classical Theism.
While yes, I will be commending the heathen (unbeliever) whenever they are right with their ideas as pertaining to this subject, I will also show where they are wrong.
Let's begin.

"What Is Virtue Ethics?"

First, we need to define some terms and point out the differences between this view and others within the larger debate of normative ethics.
There are three major approaches in normative ethics, those being: Consequentalism, Deontology, and Virtue Ethics. The following are definitions of the terms:
Consequentialism – a class of normative, teleological ethical theories that holds that the consequences of one's conduct are the ultimate basis for judgement about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct.
Deontology – theories where an action is considered morally good because of some characteristic of the action itself, not because the product of the action is good. Deontological ethics holds that at least some acts are morally obligatory regardless of their consequences for human welfare.
Virtue Ethics – theories that emphasize the role of character and virtue in moral philosophy rather than either doing one’s duty or acting in order to bring about good consequences. The virtue ethicist would argue that actions themselves, while important, aren't as important as the character behind them. To the virtue ethicist, consequences are also important, but they would say that good consequences ultimately flow from a virtuous character who has made virtuous decisions. Theories of virtue ethics do not aim primarily to identify universal principles that can be applied in any moral situation, instead teaching that the best decisions can vary based on context, and that there are only some actions that would be universally evil, only because those actions could never flow from a virtuous character in the first place (e.g., rape).
Aristotle's idea of ethics is in an important respect different from most people's, especially today. Heirs as we are to Kant’s idea of duty – there is a right thing that one ought to do, as rational beings who respect other persons – and to Mill’s idea of utility – the right thing to do is that which produces the greatest good for the greatest number – most of us see ethics as concerned with actions. "The function of ethics is to help me see what I ought to do in a given situation," the modern says. Aristotle’s approach was different. His ethic is not so much concerned about helping us to see what we ought to do, as about what sort of person we ought to be.
Aristotle was concerned with character, and with the things that go to make up good and bad character; virtues and vices. His sort of ethic does not look at our action to see if it fulfils our duty, or produces a certain outcome, such as the greatest good of the greatest number, and therefore merits approval. Instead, it looks at us; at the character behind the actions, to see whether we merit approval.
Comparing Virtue Ethics with philosophies such as Deontology and Consequentialism, we are able to divide ethical theories into two kinds; act-centered theories and agent-centered theories. Kant’s (Deontological) and Mill’s (Utilitarian) approaches are act-centered, because they concern themselves with our actions, whilst Aristotle’s is agent-centered because it concerns itself with the character of a person, which in his view was ourselves and our own dispositions that prompt our actions.
Both approaches have ardent present-day advocates, and so both are alive and well. Virtue Ethicists are dissatisfied with the answers ‘modern’ act-centered philosophy offers, and look for a more flexible, person-centered approach that takes more account of the subtle varieties of human motivation. Those in this camp see ethics as being about people – moral agents – rather than merely about actions. Of course, your actions matter. But, for Aristotle and his present day advocates alike, they matter as expressions of the kind of person you are. They indicate such qualities as kindness, fairness, compassion, and so on, and it is these qualities and their corresponding vices that it is the business of ethics to approve or disapprove.
All this seems simple and uncontroversial; there are two ways of looking at an action to evaluate it morally. You can take the action in isolation and judge it, or take the agent and judge him or her.
Virtue ethicists argue that act-centered ethics are narrow and bloodless. What is needed is a richer moral vocabulary than just ‘right and wrong’. There are subtle but important differences between actions that are good because they are kind and those that are good because they are generous, and those that are good because they are just. Likewise, there are subtle but important differences between actions that are bad because they are selfish and those that are bad because they are cruel and those that are bad because they are unfair. These, and many other, distinctions are lost when we talk simply about doing one’s duty, or promoting utility. Questions of motive and of character are lost, in these asceptic terms. Modern moral philosophy won’t do: it is cold, technical and insensitive to the many kinds and degrees of value expressed in human actions. Ethics is more than just thought experiments and hypotheticals about what would be the right course of action to take in any given situation we might conjure up from the comfort of our armchair. Ethics is about doing, and about context and character.

The Different Kinds of "Virtue Ethics"

Virtue Ethics has has been developed in two main directions: Eudaimonism, and agent-based theories.
Eudaimonism (Aristotle's view) bases virtues in human flourishing, where flourishing is equated with performing one’s distinctive function well. In the case of humans, Aristotle argued that our distinctive function is reasoning, and so the life “worth living” is one which we reason well. He also believed that only free men in the upper classes of society (i.e., the aristocrats) could excel in virtue and eschew vice, being that such men had greater access to the means in accomplishing this task as they had the wealth and resources to better perform their distinctive function of 'reasoning,' and thus "live well." For the Eudaimonian, inner dispositions are what one ought to focus on in order to cultivate virtuous traits, and thus a virtuous character.
In contrast, an agent-based theory emphasizes that virtues are determined by common-sense intuitions that we as observers judge to be admirable traits in other people. There are a variety of human traits that we find admirable, such as benevolence, kindness, compassion, etc., and we can identify these by looking at the people we admire, our moral exemplars. Agent-based theories also state that the motivations and intentions behind an action are ultimately what determine whether or not said action is actually virtuous. Whereas Eudaimonism understands the moral life in terms of inner dispositions or proclivities to act in certain ways (whether righteous or wicked, just or unjust, kind or cruel, etc.), agent-based theories are more radical in that their evaluation of actions is dependent on ethical judgments about the inner life of the agents who perform those actions, that is, what the motivations and intents are of a person.
[Note: While both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories are both agent-centered, Eudaimonism is not to be confused with an agent-based theory. Both branches concern themselves more with agents rather than acts themselves, but Eudamonism focuses on the self to improve whereas the agent-based theory focuses on others to improve.]

Common Critcisims Toward Secular Forms of Virtue Ethics

Firstly, Eudaimonism provides a self-centered conception of ethics because "human flourishing" (here defined as simply fulfilling our base function as humans, which is "reason" according to this view) is seen as an end in itself and does not sufficiently consider the extent to which our actions affect other people. Morality requires us to consider others for their own sake and not because they may benefit us. There seems to be something wrong with aiming to behave compassionately, kindly, and honestly merely because this will make oneself happier or "reason well."
Secondly, both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories also don't provide guidance on how we should act, as there are no clear principles for guiding action other than “act as a virtuous person would act given the situation.” Who is a virtuous person? Who is the first or universal exemplar?
Lastly, the ability to cultivate the right virtues will be affected by a number of different factors beyond a person’s control due to education, society, friends and family. If moral character is so reliant on luck, what role does this leave for appropriate praise and blame of the person? For the Eudaimonian, one ought to be born into a status of privilege if they wish to excel in being virtuous. For the proponent of an agent-based theory, one ought to be born into a society or family with good role models and preferably be raised by such, else they have no moral exemplars to emulate.

The New Testament's Virtue Ethic

The New Testament authors didn’t sit down and do a self-consciously philosophical exercise, for this was not what they were concerned with. They were concerned with giving practical instruction to disciples of the faith, and merely trying to express the ethical implications of their spiritual experience. That being said, we know the apostle Paul was familiar with the writings of Aristotle. We can actually identify places where Paul displays knowledge of Aristotle and incorporates some of the philosopher's ideas into his own epistles. Before we do this, however, it's important we refute common misnomers about what the Bible teaches concerning ethics in general.
You probably have heard many attack the ethics of the New Testament as being primitive and simplistic. "God dictates universal commands to follow: 'do not lie,' do 'not divorce,' 'do not insult.' And the only motivating factor is escaping hellfire and obtaining the reward of eternal pleasure." But in reality, this is a gross misrepresentation of the ethics laid out in the NT. I will argue the NT advocates for a form of virtue ethics, instead of claiming the NT contains a form of deontic ethics, as it is so often assumed.
Elizabeth Anscombe was one of the most influential virtue ethicists of the 20th century. Her work helped to revive virtue ethics in the modern era, however she also criticized the ethics of the Bible for promoting a form of ethics different than what Aristotle promoted:
"...between aristotle and us came Christianity, with its law conception of ethics. For Christianity derived its ethical notions from the Torah. (One might be inclined to think that a law conception of ethics could arise only among people who accepted an allegedly divine positive law..." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
We've already dealt with the issue of the Torah in another post. The Torah is not laying down moral laws, but describing justice in the form of ancient Near Eastern wisdom literature. But does the New Testament teach a deontic form of ethics? Anscombe might appear justified in her claim, as some "Christian" theologians have explicitly taught the ethics of the NT is deontic.
However, other theologians have argued the ethics of the NT is best characterized as a form of virtue ethics. In a study of the NT, we'll support this notion. As noted earlier, one of the central features of this approach to ethics is that the aim of ethics should be on living a virtuous life. Other forms of ethics focus on directing actions when confronted with a moral dilemma, but for virtue ethics every action is a moral or immoral action because all of our actions contribute or do not contribute to living a virtuous life. In other words, for a virtue ethicist, everything we do will contribute to living a fulfilled life. Now, the NT promotes a similar idea with a slight modification. The NT changes the distinctictive function and purpose for man in Eudaimonism from "reasoning" to loving God and others instead, and thus "living well" is changed from self-centered 'flourshing' (as defined by Aristotle) to glorifying God instead. The apostles taught everything we do contributes to living a life that glorifies God:

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."-1 Corinthians 10:31
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."-Colossians 3:17

So we see the same idea in Paul, that everything we do can be seen as a moral or immoral action. Everything we do should be seen as contributing to living a life that glorifies god or not. As a believer, the aim is not just doing good actions to avoid punishments, but to see everything we do as glorifying God. On secular virtue ethics, all our actions are either advancing a good life or not: nourishing your body contributes to living a good life. In a Biblical context: taking the time to properly dress contributes to living a good life, and not giving into the sin of sloth. So all our actions can be moral actions in this context, and so likewise for Paul and Jesus, all we do can contribute to living a life that glorifies God.
Since God made our bodies to thrive and enjoy life, we should nourish our bodies so we can thrive as God intended for our bodies to do, thus ultimately glorifying Him. Since we were created to experience and feel enjoyment, laughing and enjoying things throughout life glorifies God as well since we're experiencing emotions that God created to be experienced. Everything we do should be to glorify God, and often all that is is living our lives in the way that they were intended to be lived. Biblical ethics is very much more than merely performing right actions, but living a virtuous life that brings glory to God.
As Jesus said:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."-Matthew 22:37b

It is also important to focus on what it means to love, which is an important aspect of what it means to be a believer. Paul makes the radical claim that to love is the entirety of the law of God:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

Jesus also taught that to love God and love others were the two greatest commandments (Mark 12:28-31, Matt. 22:34-40). He also extends the commandment to love beyond one's brethren, and to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Loving those around us is central to what it means to be a believer (John 13:34; 15:12-17, Rom. 12:10; 13:8, 1 Cor. 13:1-8; 16:14, 2 Cor. 8:8, Eph. 4:2; 5:2, Phili. 1:9, Heb. 10:24, Jam. 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 John 2:10; 3:23).
One might suggest this is no different than the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," or a Kantian rule: "I ought never to act except in such a way that I could also will that my maxim should become a universal law." In other words, "to live well is to perform good deeds or actions and nothing more." But an important point about loving someone is it cannot be done through actions alone. For example, one could buy a gift for their spouse to cheer them up. However, one could perform this action merely because they value performing right actions without any love for the person. One could donate to charity because it is the right thing to do, and not because she cares for the people who would benefit. In such scenarios, they can be seen as idolizing moral laws, not necessarily caring about helping others.
But to love someone requires more than merely performing right actions. You cannot love someone and not care about who they are as a person and where they are heading in life. To love is to will the good of the other. Jesus chastised the Pharisees of his day for only performing right actions, but not loving their brethren in their hearts. His criticism follows Matthew chapter 22, where Jesus says the greatest commandments are to love. The implication is the Pharisees perform proper actions, but have the wrong motivations for doing so. James Keenan puts it like this:
"Essential to understanding this command is that we love our neighbors not as objects of our devotion, but rather as subjects; that is, as persons. Thus, we cannot love others only because God wants us to do so, since then we would love them as means or as objects and not as persons. We can only love one another as subjects, just as God loves us." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 86)
A critic may bring up that verses of the NT are still phrased as commands, and therefore the structure implies duties were the central aspect of Christian ethics. But the importance of duties is not foreign to Virtue Ethics. Instead of being central to the ethical framework, duties flow from a virtuous character. Virtues are active and have certain demands for which a person must fulfill in their active behavior.
According to Aristotle, knowledge of the virtues gives us practical wisdom in how to properly act. Duties flow from the understanding of the demands of virtues. To put it another way, for virtues to manifest in persons, they have certain demands that must be fulfilled. For the believer, the command of love flows from being virtuous and aligning oneself with the character of God. Commitment to the character of Christ, who perfectly carried out the will of the Father, allows us to perform right and proper actions.
The NT also contains lists of virtues the believer ought to emulate, the most famous of these is in Galatians chapter 5:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." (vss. 22-23)
Now, the connection with Aristotle cannot be more pronounced. The Greek phrase "against such there is no law" is almost identical to what we find in Aristotle's politics (3.13.1284a). It seems clear Paul is teaching a similar ethical framework to what Aristotle advocated for. Paul is teaching that the believing community ought to be persons who display key virtues, and that their conduct would not need to be regulated by a law. Instead, their character should be the standard others can measure themselves by. Romans chapter 2 is also a place we see references to Aristotle, where Paul notes that when Gentiles do what the law requires, they are "a law unto themselves" (vss. 14-15). In other words, they do not need to be told to act a certain way. They have the proper virtuous character that directs their actions, to do the good the law requires. Paul is advocating in Galatians that believers should think in a similar way.
So in Galatians 5, we have affinity with the teachings of Aristotle, and in other lists of virtues throughout the NT we see a similar idea, which is that Christians were meant to display virtues primarily (Rom. 5:3-5, 1 Cor. 13:1-8, Col. 3:12-17, 1 Tim. 3:2-3; 4:7-8, Jam. 3:17-18, 2 Pet. 1:5-8). From that, good deeds will properly manifest in our actions.
Anscombe made a great point on what the focus of ethics should be:
"It would be a great improvement if, instead of 'morally wrong', one always named a genus such as 'untruthful', 'unchaste', 'unjust'. We should no longer ask whether doing something was 'wrong', passing directly from some description of an action to this notion; we should ask whether, e.g., it was unjust; and the answer would sometimes be clear at once." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
Interestingly enough, Paul lays out a similar idea in explaining Christian ethics:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."-Philippians 4:8-9

In other words, the central aspect on living a Christian life was on what is virtuous, not on what is lawfully right or wrong. Right actions flow from whatever is honorable, true, and pure. Correlating with this is how Paul responds to the Corinthians who claimed that "all was lawful." Paul reminded them the emphasis is not on what is lawful, but on what is good for building a virtuous character:

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."-1 Corinthians 10:23

One's main focus ought to be on what is good, not on laws that dictate behavior.
One of the key aspects of Virtue Ethics is the idea we ought to learn from virtuous teachers and imitate them. A virtuous character is obtained by imitating what a virtuous person does. This parallels a key aspect of Christian ethics. Imitating Christ was (and still is) crucial to living a virtuous life:

"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:"-1 Peter 2:21

Paul says in Romans 8:29 that Christians were predestined "to be conformed to the image of his Son." Jesus often taught his followers to do as he does (Matt. 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 6:40; 9:23, John 13:15, 34). Paul says in 1st Corinthians 11: Be ye followers [i.e., imitators] of me, even as I also am of Christ" (vs. 1). Hebrews 13:7 says to imitate the faith of the patriarchs. 1st Thessalonians 2:14 says to imitate each other. And jesus taught to imitate the good Samaritan from his parable (Luke 10:37). Imitating virtuous teachers was key for Christian ethics.
Aristotle tended to compare acquiring virtues with that of learning a practical skill, like playing an instrument or learning how to become a builder. Such practical skills are best picked up when trained by a master of that particular skill, because a teacher can always provide more insight through lessons they learn from experience. For example, an expert salesman can provide examples from his experience of what works with specific customers that a sales textbook could never provide. Many professions today require on-the-job training or experience before even hiring an applicant. The reason is: experience is key to learning a profession. Merely acquiring knowledge from a textbook or an instruction manual is often insufficient to master a skill, so why would mastering the skill of virtue be any different?
In the NT, a believer is to see the world through the eyes of Christ and to love as he loved. One cannot learn how to be a virtuous person without knowing what that life would look like. A key component of Christian theology is that the Messiah perfectly represented the Father and His will on earth, to show us how to properly live as God intended for man. This central tenet of the NT aligns well with agent-based theories of Virtue Ethics, and modifies it so that the person of Jesus Christ is the universal exemplar that one is meant to emulate. We are called to imitate him through our actions, thoughts, and desires, and to conform ourselves to the way he lived. As Paul said:

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."-Galatians 2:20

If learning from Christ is key, we should briefly take a look at the Sermon on the Mount, which is said to be one of Jesus' most important series of teachings. Daniel Harrington notes:
"The sermon begins with nine 'beatitudes' (see 5:3–12) in which Jesus declares as 'happy' or 'blessed' those who practice certain virtues, and promises them an eternal reward and the fullness of God's kingdom." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 62)
Jesus laid out what a life for those that follow him look like in detail. One ought to be merciful, pure in heart, a peacemaker, thirst for righteousness, etcetera (Matt. 5:2-10). The Sermon does not merely include what right actions are, but includes sections on proper desires. Not only is it wrong to murder, but it is wrong to desire to murder or wish ill on someone (Matt. 5:22). Avoiding adultery is good, but one also should not covet after another man's woman in their heart (Matt. 5:28). In other words, merely avoiding immoral actions is not enough. One must also not desire vices. A believer is called to desire what is good.
The Sermon is not necessarily laying down universal moral commands. For example, Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers," but this doesn't imply absolute Pacifism, as it would contradict passages in the Old Testament where it explicitly says there is a time for war (Ecc. 3:8). The point of the Sermon is to teach what a virtuous life ought to look like. A follower of Christ ought to use reason to know what is proper to do in various circumstances. For example, in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus offers guidance on how one ought to pray by presenting the Lord's prayer (vss. 9-15). This is a model of how to pray. It's not a command for followers to always pray in this exact way.
In reality, the Sermon on the Mount mixes in exhortations, parables, hyperbole, declarations, commands, etc. It is best understood as displaying what a virtuous life ought to look like. It's not a law code. Building on this, it's important to understand a proper action is context sensitive. Under Virtue Ethics, one should not necessarily apply a universal maxim to every situation. Sometimes the proper action will depend on what is at stake, who is involved, what is the background, etc. Aristotle advocated against the idea there were fixed universal laws that dictate actions, and instead he argued the right action would depend on the circumstances one finds themselves in. Although the ethics of the NT may be a bit more strict, it still places an emphasis on being sensitive to the context of situations.
In 1st Corinthians chapter 8, Paul lays out instructions on how to deal with meat that has been sacrificed to Pagan idols. Instead of stating an absolute prohibition against meat sacrificed to idols, Paul instructed Christians to use reason to come to the proper ethical decision based on context. In other words, the right action is not determined only by a law. Instead, the Christian had to make the proper decision based on the context: if eating caused another to stumble, then you ought to abstain; if not, then there's no harm done. The value of the action depends on the context.
A Deontologist might reply that there's still a universal law given here: that one should always abstain if it's going to cause another to stumble. This objection can be addressed by asking: how are we to know if eating the meat will cause another believer to stumble? To answer such a question, one must be sensitive to the context, which in this case would be knowledge of the fellow believer and your relation to him. It is the context that determines the right action, not a universal law. Moreover, Paul states that the primary goal for the believer should be to love (1 Cor. 13). The first consideration is once again not the rightness of action, but having love for one another. From this, knowledge of the proper action will follow.
Paul often explains that living a proper life as a believer will take work and practice. He reminded Timothy to attend readings, practice what these things mean, and keep a close watch on himself (1 Tim. 4:13-14). Elsewhere, he directs that all believers must work on their faith (Phili. 2:12). Beyond this, he also noted that not all Christians would have the same gifts, and to accept that this was normal (1 Cor. 12). For some, certain things may be a hindrance, whereas for others it is acceptable (Rom. 14:2-4). What matters is that we love and build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Right actions flow from love and knowledge of virtue. Rules are not the primary motives that dictate our actions; rules are secondary in this regard.
An interesting case can be studied with regards to divorce in the Gospels. Jesus preaches against divorce (Mark 10:7-9) and it is often interpreted to mean "divorce is always wrong, regardless of circumstances." However, it should be noted the prohibition on divorce is not a universal law. The context can affect whether or not a divorce is permissible. Jesus says that one can divorce over sexual immorality. Paul also has a situation where divorce is permissible, namely if one spouse is an unbeliever and wishes to leave (1 Cor. 7:15). The implication one can derive is divorce is not ideal, but there are circumstances where it may be the proper action to take. Given the other features of Christian Virtue Ethics we already covered, the proper action to take will depend on the circumstances and what the virtuous agent thinks is the most loving thing to do. A universal prohibition on divorce is not a Christian ethic. Instead, one ought to discern the proper action from circumstances. However, it's clear in most cases divorce would not be the virtuous thing to do.
Building on this, it's important to note that within NT ethics, certain acts are always wrong. For example, idolatry and sexual immorality are always wrong (1 Cor. 10:14, Col. 3:15, 1 Pet. 4:13). There are no possible scenarios where it would be okay to rape, because such an act would never flow from a virtuous character. But this concept is not foreign to theories of Virtue Ethics. Aristotle noted that for some actions, no qualifications could make them virtuous. Actions such as rape or murder are always wrong, because they would never flow from a virtuous character. So it's not as if a Virtue Ethicist cannot claim that some actions are always wrong. They simply are qualified as being unable to flow from virtue, whereas actions like lying or waging war could be considered virtuous for the right reason.
Now, despite Christian Virtue Ethics having many similarities with Eudaimonism (Aristotelian ethics), there are also numerous differences beyond what we've already noted. One of the deficiencies of how Aristotle lays out his ethical theory is that it is essentially an all-boys club. Aristotle writes mainly to aristocratic men, excluding women and slaves. In his view, women were inferior to men and slaves lacked the necessary rational faculty. But the Christians rejected this mentality, as the teachings of Christ and the apostles were available to all (Matt. 28:19). Paul said, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Peter wrote that all Christians were part of the priesthood of Christ (1 Pet. 2:5). Jesus had women followers (Luke 8:2-3), and they were entrusted with delivering revelation (Mark 15:40–16:8). What we find throughout the NT is a radical change to how women were viewed in the ancient world. Paul is also likely building on Aristotle's household structure and refining it. David deSilva says the household codes of the NT are "...following the pairs laid out as early as Aristotle to such a degree as to suggest that these were standard topics in ethical instruction" (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 231). But Paul adds an important preface: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:20-21). DeSilva says:
"...husbands, we cannot then ignore the distinctively Christian addition they bring to this arrangement; husbands are to be subject to their wives as well." (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 233)
Thus Paul doesn't break down the traditional perspective on the structure of the family, but he does add the idea that we all must submit to each other in reverence, love, unity, and cooperation because all are equal before God. There is no explicit mention in the NT calling for the abolishment of slavery, but it should be noted that Paul taught that slaves should be seen as equals. In the letter to Philemon, Paul is clear that his slave is no longer "as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved" (vs. 16). Thus, within Christian ethics class distinctions were supposed to evaporate. All were brothers and sisters of one family.
An important aspect of Christian ethics is that it wasn't a standalone ethical theory. It's embedded in the larger Christian worldview. The ethical framework is dependent on Christian doctrines. For Aristotle, his ethical theory is for men who were raised well. This is why these specific men desire to be virtuous and perform right actions. As for why the believer does good and desires to be virtuous, it's not because one was raised well, but because they have been activated by the power of God's Spirit (John 3:6, 1 Cor. 12:13). For believers, the reason as to why we desire to be good and virtuous is because the Spirit of God has regenerated us. He loves us so we can love others (1 John 4:19). One is meant to look to the life of Christ and what he has done by dying on the cross, to know that we are loved and forgiven. This in turn is meant to activate a good life, having seen what we have gained and been forgiven of. He calls and activates us to do similar to those around us. This is a more open system for people of all groups and classes. One only has to call upon the name of the Lord to be included. It does not require a specific gender or to be raised a certain way.
The goal of Aristotelian ethics is to achieve 'eudaimonia.' However, within the Bible the goal is as the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever." Since the central aspect of Biblical Eschatology is that humans will continue on forever in resurrected bodies, the aim of ethics is more than living a good life presently. Living a good life now is important, but it was only one aspect in the Christian worldview. Humans are meant to live beyond this life, so the aim is also about building virtuous souls that will continue on. The importance of this is more crucial than it may seem at first. Paul said that we must all appear before judgment, so that "every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad" (2 Cor. 15:10).
Being a virtuous person requires integrity, because one will still have to answer to God after death. If one can commit an evil act and no one finds out, then from the outside perspective he or she may still appear virtuous. Culturally speaking, the ancient world was very different from our own. All wrongdoings centered around public honor and shame. One did good to receive public honor, and one did not do what was bad to receive public shame. Right and wrong were connected to one's public honor and shame in the ancient Greco-Roman world. Thus good and evil were public ideas, not personal ideas. Ethical demands were grounded in the community in one's public appearance
The Biblical idea of an omniscient God who cared about our ethical status laid a foundation for integrity and personal guilt to emerge. Now one ought to do good because he is beholden to God, not just the community. Believers are to remain focused on God's approval and on the actions that lead them, regardless of the world's response. This lays down fertile ground for integrity to emerge. So the Biblical worldview has another important element built in that encourages ethical behavior, regardless of the honor it brings. One ought to do good because of a commitment to God not, because it might bring honor to one's name publicly.

Implications for Preterists

Paul believed that the Second Coming would happen in his generation, and prescribed certain things in the NT on the basis of that belief. An example of an exhortation that would no longer apppy to us today would be 1st Corinthians 7:24-29, where Paul argues that the times him and his fellow Christians were in called for celibacy, being that the Lord was fast approaching. It wasn't a sin if you did get married, of course; it was just harder to serve the Lord in this context if you had a family to worry about. Thus, Paul encouraged being single.
So, we need to be careful when reading the NT and determining what prohibitions or exhortations are still applicable to us today. Context is key.

i’ve manifested pretty much everything i have wanted - i’ve been to both of the best schools in my country, have an amazing group of friends (so amazing that sometimes i cry just thinking about how happy 16 year old me would be knowing this), do not struggle for money, and i really like the way i look and dress. apart from one thing - i’ve never been in a proper relationship. this is literally all that i feel is missing from my life.
no matter how much i manifest, it just doesn’t seem to happen for me. i spent 3 years genuinely believing that it would happen one day, not worrying about it, and suddenly im 22 and nothing has happened.
im having doubts right now, because i asked out my SP - he’s a good friend, and i really thought he had been flirting with me for months, as did my other friends. i asked him out because i felt we kept missing what would be ‘our moment’ where something would happen naturally, and i know he’s a pretty shy guy himself. also, because we graduate in a couple of months, so i felt that time was running out. he initially said yes, but called me a few days ago to say that he’s thought about it and changed his mind, he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship - and he seemed genuinely surprised when i said i thought he’d been flirting with me, and said he didn’t mean to give those signs.
i see posts and videos online of people who are 30, 40, 50 and have never been in a relationship, and i worry that that will be me. i worry that even if i live in my belief that it is for me, 20 years will go by with nothing, as 3 years already have. it’s all i want in the world, but no matter what i do - love letter method, whisper method, self concept, detachment theory - it doesn’t come to me. which means i start having doubts about the law.
does anyone have any pearls of wisdom? sorry, i think i just need some reassurance, or maybe some explanation as to why this just isn’t working for me. what did i do wrong with SP? is there any hope, given that he’s rejected me and we are moving to different places in a couple months time? is it a sign from the universe that he’s not right for me?

This is a long one, so if you want to jump straight to why I'm having reservations, see #3.
1. Rescue pittie's background
There's a 3-year-old pit bull mix I found that's been in foster care for over a year, let's call her baby girl. She has an unknown history, likely abandoned or maybe abused, and was brought in by a good samaritan. She was in a shelter, but quickly moved to a foster home because she "didn't do well" in the shelter (unsure of exactly what that means). She's been described as shy, anxious, and needing an adult-only home. I've been speaking with the foster mom for about 3 weeks, and she told me how hard it's been to find the perfect owner for baby girl.
Not only does baby girl need an adult-only home, but it's also preferred that she's the only animal in the house, so she can't go to a family with another dog or cat. That narrows down the list of potential owners to mainly young adults, who often live in apartment buildings that don't allow pit bulls, or with roommates who are afraid of pit bulls. Baby girl seems to be thriving in foster care right now but, unfortunately, the foster mom can't afford to keep her because she already has a dog.
Foster mom and I have had a few lengthy conversations now about baby girl's demeanor in foster care, and some of her known behavior issues. Baby girl doesn't like men and will usually growl at them if they come near. Foster mom didn't mention any violent incidents, but also that she can't definitively say whether or not baby girl is a biter since her history is still largely unknown. Baby girl can be dominant around other dogs, but thankfully has gotten along fine with foster mom's dog. Baby girl also resource guards, but no mention of snapping or aggression. Foster mom said overall, baby girl needs a lot of patience, positive reinforcement, consistency, and lots and lots of love to build trust.
2. Why I'm the best candidate
I'm single, live alone, have no pets, and my landlords are okay with a pitbull. So far, I'm only one who's come along expressing interest in baby girl and who meets all the foster mom's criteria. I've never owned, nor have I fostered, but I've been the designated dog sitter for just about anyone I know with a dog for the past several years. I've also been around pit bulls my entire life, so I'm well aware of their reputation, and just how lethal they can be if they become violent and aren't trained properly.
As far as baby girl's behavior goes, I understand that "needing an adult-only home" means that she can't be around children, or really anyone who can't read and appropriately respond to her body language. I'm a young adult not planning to have kids ANY time soon, and none of my close friends have kids, so that's really no problem. My friends are also dog people, so I feel confident they wouldn't overstep baby girl's boundaries. If, god forbid, anything happened that would make baby girl feel threatened and react aggressively towards people, I feel confident that I have the physical strength to restrain her.
I understand I need to put a lot of work into training and caring for baby girl. Even though I'm in grad school, I thankfully get to work from home most days of the week which means I won't have to leave her home alone for hours on end. Summer also starts soon and my schedule will be free of classes with minimal research. That'll give me the time I need to help acclimate her to the new home, establish a routine, and hopefully build a trusting relationship. The foster mom has told me I'm exactly the kind of owner she's dreamed of for baby girl.
3. My reservations
Despite being trusted to watch my friends' dogs over the years, I'm still very inexperienced. I've never personally owned a dog. As a first time owner, adopting an anxious rescue pit bull is a HUGE undertaking. I reached out to a dogtrainer to schedule a behavior consult and see about learning some training techniques, but upon learning about baby girl's history, the trainer HIGHLY recommended I go with another dog.
And, look.. I know this isn't going to be easy. I know it would be sooo much simpler for me to get a young, confident dog who would need practically no time to get settled. I also know that just because the right owner hasn't come along before me, doesn't mean one won't come along after me. But, the longer she is in foster care, the harder it's going to be to transition her to a new home. I might fit the criteria the foster mom is looking for in an owner, but I'm trying not to let that pressure me into making a potentially irresponsible decision.
I also live in an apartment, and baby girl right now is in a BIG house with a backyard that she can run around whenever she wants. I have a small patio that she might like to hang out on, but we'll for sure need to go on daily walks. Even still, will walks be enough? There's a dog park close to my apartment, but there's no way I can let her off leash to run around. At least, not until we develop a strong recall and definitely not until I can trust her around other dogs. Isn't that kind of unfair, that she might not get any chance to run free for weeks, or maybe months?
And then, in terms of the cost, I'm on a grad school salary - not exactly swimming in excess income. I've been considering rescuing a dog for quite a while and checked my budget to see if it would be possible. I know I can definitely afford food, regular vet visits, grooming every so often, that kind of stuff. Also, the foster mom is going to give me all of baby girl's comforts like her bed, toys, favorite treats, etc., so that eliminates most up-front costs. She's also already spayed, chipped, and has her shots. But if something serious happens to her, I don't have thousands lying around to pay for a big vet bill. I have some savings and maybe could use a credit card, but it's such a scary thought that I might not be able to pay for the care she needs.
As much as I feel emotionally ready and willing to adopt baby girl, I'm terrified by the sheer amount of responsibility that comes with caring for another life. She's going to be with me for the next 7-10 years. I'll be graduating in just about 3 years, and then who knows what life will throw at me. Is a couple of years enough time to address her behavior issues? I just don't know. I'm scared, she's scared, we're a couple of nervous nellies. She's been waiting for a home for so long, and damn, I really want to be the one to give it to her. But sometimes, caring isn't enough.

I'm allergic! Also I didn't know u couldn't be in the room with it when it's curing. I had some orders n had 5 or 6 things curing n fell asleep in the room with it. I had already burned my face badly n broke out on the backs of my hand n arms but I was wearing gloves so idt it was the epoxy. I woke up two days later with epoxy inside my skin. I was completely covered in it n I had proper ppe. I didn't wear a ventilation mask. I thought u only had to have it in well ventilated area when mixing n I took it outside to mix it. Long story short. Id recommend to anyone not to handle any type of resin if they are allergic. I tried uv resin and it made it come back. When it come back it does it with a vengeance worse every time. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone. I've been sick since January n it makes me not be able to breathe. I couldn't walk talk or breathe after taking a shower n washing my hair. I paralyzed me for about an hour n caused me to hurt all down my left side. Drs can't or won't help me. I guess it was build up in me n poisoned me long term exposure. I had places on my stomach I couldn't get off n I take steroid pack n soon as I got done it would come back just like I poured it over my whole body. U could even see pour marks. Its been a living nightmare. I caught pneumonia. My neck swells n I end up in the hospital.my whole body is swells but when my necks swells I can't breathe. Taking a shower makes my neck swelling go down. Its done some crazy things to me. I put peroxide on my chin n it made it swells out the size of a pool ball n turned red as a coke can instantly. Set me on fire. Idk the drs believed me. I called poison control they didn't believe me.. I've been to my family dr she said come back in August. Ive thought i was dying a few times. Only thing I found to get it out of my skin is fast orange n shop towels. I t had to take 4n 5 hours shower just scrubbing my body. I have ut in my teeth. I can taste it all the time but when I shower it's worse. I've had my skin turn different colors. My lips black n eyelids purple. I'm still talking funny n that last time I used resin was middle if March. People please do research n find out all about it before u use it. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I've been through. I love epoxy art n im currently looking fir a good alternative. It broke my heart to have to stop using it. I started using it in October n I didn't have any problems until I got some off ebay. I was just getting my business started. If anyone knows a good kud friendly preferably lol please let me know. If anyone has went through this crazy stuff n have any advice please let me know. I'm slowly getting better but I'm just guessing my way through this. Thanks advance n I hope this also helps someone else. Its terrifying.

TLDR I am overly obsessed with cleaning my own body parts using surface cleaning products that are not meant to be applied to the human skin and pose risk to physical health. I am not sure how to put this to a stop, as not acting upon the respective intrusive thoughts makes me go through almost panic-like fear of spreading supposed "germs" to others or getting "infected".
Hello Anxiety,
I believe a similar post had already existed here before, but I've been kind of having this extremely weird paranoid obsession with cleaning everything and the lengths I go to fulfill it might be putting my physical health to a potential risk.
Every time when I touch (or get touched) by an object that is perceived by me to be "dirty" (as in, covered in germs) or, otherwise, of unknown cleanliness, I immediately start cleaning my body part that came in contact with it, usually the hands. The problem is that the methods I utilize to do so do not limit themselves to just rushing to the nearest bathroom and washing my hands with water and soap, but rather involve highly toxic cleaning substances.
One of these chemical substances are Clorox wipes, which are based on bleach and contain a significant amount of different toxic ingredients apart from it. These wipes are meant to be for cleaning surfaces and possess no harm in such case, but their use on human skin is highly discouraged, as it might lead to a burn. This, however, hasn't stopped me from doing otherwise.
Even though I consciously understand the risks involved using such product on the human body, I keep using them, as if I don't, I start getting instrusive thoughts of getting "infected" and/or potentially spreading germs to others or something. These intrusive thoughts essentially lead me to using exclusively Clorox, as even regular hand-washing doesn't stop this crazy obsession (in this case, I start panicking that the regular soap and water combo is not enough + for body parts that aren't arms, I am basically either forced to go take a full-blown shower or rely on a portable solution instead).
One of these examples would be me using Clorox wipes on my hair and head because I was taking a taxi and as I was putting on my hood it supposedly touched the seats (!!). No matter how absurd this might sound, not acting upon this thought immediately leads to more of those springing up until the rest of my day.
Recently I used Clorox on a part of my foot (as I tripped on my shoes at home by accident as I was roaming the corridor) and I did indeed get a proper burn. The part of the skin affected does not feel any touch anymore as a result and is bright red and painful. Because of the pain and of the fact that pressing on it makes it temporarily white immediately, it certainly is no third-degree burn and is not really much to worry about.
However, this situation is already a huge warning to me that I better quit with Clorox wipes and stop using any cleaning products not meant for the skin entirely, especially now that I've overused them literally as I've been applying them to different body parts every single day.
Yet I don't know how to stop - even consciously understanding all the risks involved, I literally cannot stop using those as otherwise I get stressed and start panicking and combating so is a struggle on its own that takes a solid few hours just to calm down to the slightest to avoid acting upon intrusive cleaning obsession thoughts.
I wonder what could be some good ways to put this to a stop. Not buying Clorox is a good option, but it doesn't help with the intrusive thoughts and the overall low mood as follows. I used to be able to distract myself with something else in the past to make these go away, but it is becoming harder to do so with every single day.
Any ideas on this? Thank you very much in advance!

I've been using a debt card for the longest time because it deducts from my checking account. I don't do the thing where I put in a pin at checkout, I always use it like a credit card.
I've stuck with this for many years because I figured credit cards wouldn't allow automatic bill pay, since the whole point of a credit card is to trick people into carrying over a debt from month to month. But it seems that some cards do allow this now?
Vanguard's Money Market account gives 4.7% APY, and supports automatic bill pay. So I was thinking about moving money out of my basically zero-interest checking account and putting it into that instead, and then getting a cash-back credit card as well. Since that seems to be how the world works.
So my questions are: does this make sense? Is there any risk associated with this that I'm missing? I've only ever had one proper credit card, a long time ago, and as a result I tend not to trust credit card providers.
And then there's the question of which card I should try and get. Difficulty: I never borrow money and so have no credit. It looks like Fidelity offers a simple card with no fees and 2% cash back. Except if you actually read the fine print it isn't 2% anything, it's "2 points per dollar." Although I guess the points are worth one cent each if you are willing to deposit that money into a Fidelity account. Which is fine, I have a Fidelity account already.
Maybe Fidelity also does a similar money market with bill pay thing that Vanguard does? I'd imagine they do. Could I auto pay from my Fidelity account to pay off my Fidelity credit card? That just seems like a debit card.
I also have an account with US Bank. and have had an account with them for a long time, and I've seen some people praising a particular US Bank card. Maybe I should get one of those instead? I imagine they'd give me one. I've had an account with them for so long that I think I'd get a pass on the no-credit thing. Except that one seems like a more complicated scheme. I'm not enthusiastic about that.

This is the start of my 10th day out, after 5 years in ODRC. My situation right now is better than a lot of guys who just got out. My dad's still here and he lent me money to get a PC and phone. When I got locked up I was selling things online, and he also managed to get into the place I had and saved my clothing and the things I sell. The basement in this place was full of totes of merchandise, all I need to do is sort it all out and start selling. But I haven't been able to.
It's great that he saved that stuff. It's a job without needing to deal with all the stigma of applying to work for a company right after release. I have like 30 shirts now and maybe a 15 pair of pants and shorts and boxers and all of that. I'm lucky as hell for it and I know that. But it's like I can't deal with it. The stuff is all tossed together and will take days to sort. It's rocks. Some natural rough, some tumbled, some facetable rough. The labels I had on them are gone, so there are several I noticed that I don't even remember what they are. He also saved 6 of the Husky steel rack shelving units I had them on, which is enough to hold about half of them.
I got the racks all put together with no problem. They've been in basements and dirty garages for years and were covered in mouse poop and caked on shit, but cleaning them and getting them put together was easy. I felt motivated to do it. But then I started to mess with the actual rocks and just ended up tossing containers onto shelves mostly blindly to get them off the floor. I've tried to go down and sort them 3 times now, but within 5 minutes I have to walk away and that's it for the day.
I was just starting my own business right before I got locked up. I was 9 months in and working pretty much constantly, working with those rocks pretty much was my entire life right before my arrest. It's like I have some very strong aversion to it now. When I try to work with them or even think about sorting them it's like a huge surge of stress and maybe terror but it also feels kind of like emptiness... like being locked up might have been constant terror on some level but I kept it pushed down so now that's just sort of what feels like emptiness now.
Does that make sense to anyone? I don't want people here to think I'm being lazy and avoiding working and I want to bring money in to help out so much, but it's like something's broken or disconnected inside about it and I just can't handle jumping right back into what I was doing right before getting locked up yet. Has anyone else gone through that? How long did it take to deal with?
In the 9 days I've been out I have met with my PO (finally, two days ago) and got approved for food assistance and bought groceries (yesterday). The week before that my mom was in the hospital and the day after she went in my dad woke me up yelling for help because he threw his back out and had to go to the bathroom. When I went into his bedroom there were a dozen piles of bloody puppy shit from his dog. My dad's back was so bad it took me 30 minutes to get him from the bed into a kitchen chair I brought up and put right beside it. He couldn't make it to the bathroom so I brought him an empty coffee container to piss in. He hurt bad enough to do it and was probably embarrassed by it, but to me that was pretty normal. Everyone has a piss jug, right?
Then I cleaned up all the puppy shit and scrubbed the rug and hand washed his sheets since it was on them. Didn't have a license to go to the laundromat so I had to wait 2 days until he felt better enough to drive me so I could get all the laundry washed. During all that my mom was in a hospital only like 6 blocks from my dad's place. They're separated but I walked up to visit with my mom and make sure she was alright twice a day, and cooked and did dishes for my dad since he couldn't those days. And I've only managed to sleep 5 hours maybe 3 times, the rest of it it's waking up after an hour or two and unable to get back to bed. And there's no shower here, just a tub. I've only managed to get in once. Idk what's with it. Maybe just the difference in how exposed and vulnerable you'd be in a tub vs a nice safe little shower where someone can only come from one place. I know no one's going to come in, but... fuck. I don't know.
Yesterday was supposed to be my first big day sorting the rocks and getting ready to take pictures and post online, but I went down to do it and it immediately felt wrong and within a few minutes I just sort of broke. Like it's hard to look at them and think about them. For 5 years I was broke in prison and thinking about them stressed me out because I couldn't do anything about them and no one on the outside knew anything about them to sell some and get me some money. Thinking about them was just a ton of stress, so I made myself not think about them at all. I avoided the thought to avoid the stress. Now I'm out and I can actually finally do something about them and turn them into money... but even though I want to do that I still can't think about them. That seems crazy.
Now it's 5am and I've been up since 3. I actually slept from 8pm-3am. It's the most sleep I've gotten. I know I really need to go down to the basement and get some work done today so I can start bringing in money, but I'm afraid I'll go down there and just sort of stun up inside again.
Just needed to get that out.

This story was written and emailed to me by an anonymous source. And it’s one of the craziest most bizarre stories I’ve ever read. Ever! 😆 Enjoy the read. It’s long and ridiculously wild. ☘️ Also, in advance, no one can use this story. These stories are written and emailed to me for me to turn into a Video Narrative for my YouTube & TikTok channels. But I would like to share their tales as reading material as well. Thank you for understanding.
I hope you enjoy. 🫶
Story by - “Alex” & “Shane”
Okay so…
I went on vacation to Ireland with my brother last year. And had the most wildest experience of my life there.
Or should I say, we both had the most…wildest experience.
But More so me. And to Tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ll ever go back again after what happened.
As a matter of fact, no, I won’t go back.
So, it’s a Sunday night and it was pretty much our last day of vacationing.
My older brother Shane, wanted to go out… And I’m quoting him - “let’s get fuckin wasted tonight!”
So… We’re on vacation right? Why not? We had rented an Airbnb for the week, we had a rental car - we had a great week so far and we were having…
A proper vacation.
He was already dressed up and ready to go. I wanted to take a quick shower and shave so I told him to head out and I’d call him when I was ready for him to pick me up.
He says cool. He leaves, and I jump in the shower. He’s the one that knows the hot spots in Ireland better than I do. I mean, this was my first time ever coming here. So…
I take a shower, shave, and I get dressed. As I’m about to call my brother, the front door to our Airbnb opens up.
And Its my brother with two bad ass Irish women! They both jump on the couch and they’re laughing their asses off and my brother is just standing there looking at me with a sly grin on his face.
He looks over at the ladies and says - “Give me a minute please” walks over to me, puts his arm over my shoulder and walks me to the bathroom. He then whips out a bag of mushrooms and smiles. Ya know… The psychedelic kind.
I look down at the bag and I shake my head.
He says to me - “come on bro. We got two hotties out there who are trippin and they want to party. Don’t be a flake. This is our last night. Let’s make it special.”
I don’t like disappointing my brother but I was kind of hesitant.
I opened the bathroom door and take a look at these gorgeous women who were both sitting upright now and both looking at me as I opened the door. Both smiling. I smiled back. Closed the door… I looked at my brother and said - “Alright dood fuck it! Let’s do it!”
He gives me a huge hug, kisses me on the forehead, pours me a handful of shrooms and does the same for himself.
We both looked at each other to see who would go first. He counted to three and down the hatch they went. But they were the most unpleasant tasting mushrooms I’ve ever eaten in my life. They were disgusting.
I ran to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of juice because I was having a hard time chewing these nasty things.
But my brother Shane? No, he’s a pro. You give that guy a barrel of hay and he’ll eat it faster than a horse. The guy can eat anything.
40 minutes go by and I’m still straight as a pin. However, my brother on the other hand? He’s already trippin.
I think he had already taken some beforehand.
But in the next 10 minutes… These shrooms hit me like a ton of bricks! It was like this intense wave of cool and hot went completely through my body.
And I’ve taken mushrooms quite a few times but have never felt anything like this before. It was so sudden!
And I feel fantastic!
The next hour went by so fast because we were having so much fun! And these Irish girls? Man… I had the sexiest one! A beautiful Redhead by the name of Katrina.
She was kind of short though. About 5’1” maybe? But good things come in small packages, right? Well, not really. And you’ll know why soon enough.
I don’t recall anything else that happened for the rest of the night after my brother left with the other girl. And before I continue with the rest of the story. My brother’s name is really not Shane. And the redhead girl I was with is not named Katrina.
You see I had to make up these names to protect me and my brother. Because what happened during the rest of the night? I don’t remember. But also, I’ll never forget either.
Okay so, let's get back to the story…
I do remember my brother leaving with… Let's just call her Gloria, Katrina’s friend? And me and Katrina, the redhead, stood behind. I do remember us making out in the bathroom together, but…Everything else after that? There’s nothing there. Nothing. I don’t recall anything from that point forward no matter how badly I try to remember.
This is what my brother told me he witnessed as he arrived back at the Airbnb five hours later with Gloria.
And until this day, I still don’t want to believe this happened. But according to my brother…
It truly did happen.
My brother is going to write this part of the story because he’s the one that has this locked in his memory for life. And for the sake of the story, my name will be Alex.
Here is my brother Shane’s point of view - his perspective on what he witnessed that crazy night. Wow man… This is so fucking nuts. So buckle up and be prepared. I understand you don’t know who I am, but I swear, I’m not a bad person. Okay.

• “Shane’s” story on what he witnessed.

Yeah so, I guess I’m Shane now. Unreal…
Okay. Here we go. Meat and potatoes.
We arrive back at the Airbnb and I see Alex outside in the front of the house wearing only socks and he’s running around on top of the grass like an animal yanking out handfuls of grass from underneath him.
I look at Gloria and we’re both baffled at what we just saw.
First thing I said was - “Oh yeah! This dood is off his rocker right about now - as I parked the car.
We both hop out of the car and walk up to the front door. I slide the key into the door, it unlocks, but there’s a chair behind the door and it’s tipped over blocking the entry way and only leaving enough space for a crack. We both awkwardly look at one another and as I’m about to call out for my brother, I hear someone sprinting towards the door and bang!
The fuckin idiot shuts the door on us.
I then knock on the door softly because It’s almost 1 in the morning as I don’t want to make too much noise. God only knows what this kid has been doing since me and Gloria left.
After I knock on the door a few times, I hear the chair getting pushed to the side and my brother slightly opens the door. I take a peek inside, and his nose is broken, lips are bubbled up and his left eye is completely shut, black and blue and swollen.
He then drops to his knees, and begins crying but no sound is coming out of him! You know… Like when you get smacked by your parents when you’re a kid and it shocks the soul of you? Yeah, that kind of cry.
I don’t react to what he’s doing to not scare the shit out of Gloria, because she’s right beside me. So I push the door open and tell Gloria to hang on a second and shut the door and lock it.
I pick his busted ass up and sit him on the couch. I look around the house and it’s in complete shambles. Our clothes are everywhere, there’s food all over the fuckin walls. It was chaotic. And my brother is now sitting up breathing frantically.
I ask him - “what in the fuck happened?”
He looks at me. Face looking like he got into a boxing match with Rocky Marciano and whispers to me.
“Dood… There’s a leprechaun in the bathroom.”
“A fuckin what now?” - I said with the most bewildered look on my face. I mean I must have… I wish I would have taken a picture of my face at that very moment. I should have taken pictures of everything so this idiot could see the havoc he wreaked on that night.
My imbecile brother continues - “I’m telling you. There’s a fuckin leprechaun in the fuckin bathroom and this little lucky charms motherfucker won’t tell me where he hid the gold!”
“A leprechaun in the bathroom. What the fuck happened to you?” I said as I felt my blood beginning to boil.
The Imbecile then says - “Don’t worry. Don’t worry! I hogtied that little bitch and stuffed my underwear in its mouth. It’s in the bathtub. But don’t go in there. Don’t go in there. This thing fucked me up!”
And now I can hear someone fumbling in the bathroom moaning very softly. I looked at my brother and said - “What in the fuck did you do Alex?”
He replies - “I’m telling you. It’s a fucking leprechaun.”
“Okay. Okay.” - I said. “Stay right here and just, don’t move. Don’t do anything. Just keep still.
His eyes were so huge and dilated. He was so fuckin high. He had heartbeat pulses pumping from the top of his head.
I rushed back over to the front door and told Gloria that my brother got into a fight with a couple of guys at a pub while me and her were out and that her friend Katrina left because she got scared. She told me that was the first time she met that girl tonight so she really didn’t care and shrugged it off. Which was a huge relief to me. I told her thank you for a wonderful night. She understood. W said our goodbyes. I shut the door. And now… What the fuck is in the bathroom? Or better yet, who, is in the bathroom? Because let’s face it. This motherfucker did not find and fight with a leprechaun tonight. No way. There’s just no fuckin way.
I rush over to the bathroom and my brother leaps at my legs, and he’s holding onto me for dear life, begging me!
He says - “Please don’t untie it! It’s got magical powers! PLEASE!!!
Now, at this very moment? I am sort of hesitant about opening the bathroom door. But I snap out of it and open it. What the fuck. A leprechaun? No, I don’t think so.
I open the door…
“Holy shit.” - I said while covering my hands with my mouth. The floor was smeared in blood as if someone was dragged, leading to the huge cast iron tub. Smeared bloody handprints were all over the tub. And now I hear the faint moan coming from the tub. My legs are shaking and feel like they’re ready to give out on me. I was scared shitless.
“What did my brother do? Who is in that bathtub? I pray to God Katrina isn’t in there right now.” - I said to myself completely freaked out.
I slowly walk up to the bathtub…
And sure enough, there is a hogtied person lying in it with my brother's underwear stuffed in their mouth with a ripped t-shirt tied around their head and mouth, but… It’s not Katrina.
It’s a little person. You know, a dwarf? And… He’s literally dressed up in a leprechaun costume…
And how, on God's green earth did he end up here?
He has no idea I’m standing above him. I reach down to begin untying him but he begins squirming and screaming. I told him to relax and that I was here to help him.
And then My imbecile brother Alex, rushes into the bathroom and tackles me down. Stands up and begins shouting at this poor bastard hogtied in the tub - “Tell me where it is you greedy little fuck! Tell me!!!
I jumped to my feet and slapped my brother back to his childhood. Grabbed him by the throat, tripped him and threw him to the ground and said - “are you fuckin crazy? Do you want to go to prison for kidnapping? What in the fuck is the matter with you? You dumb fuck!!”
He then looks up at me with this pessimistic look on his face and says - “It’s a fucking leprechaun dood. A leprechaun.”
I was absolutely dumbfounded and furious at this point. I have this stranger in my Airbnb rental, hogtied and gagged and squirming and screaming and my brother thinks that he’s a leprechaun…
I can’t make this shit up.
He was so fucking high on those mushrooms. He was absolutely convinced that this man was a leprechaun. So… I had to play the game.
It was the only way to help this poor son of a bitch that my brother had kidnapped and hogtied in our Airbnb rental.
I calmly whispered and told him to please leave the bathroom so I could interrogate the leprechaun and find out where he was hiding the pot of gold.
My brother slowly stood up to his feet, face busted up, his cock and balls all shriveled and tight, looked at the man dressed up as a leprechaun, smiled at him with an evil grin and just, walked away…
And as he walked away, I told him to go and please put some clothes on, lay down in bed, and that I would handle the leprechaun. That I, would find out where the gold was hidden…
And that’s all I’m saying. I’m giving the computer back to my dumbass of a brother to finish off whatever else he wants to write.

• Back to “Alex”

Pretty outlandish right? I know. I know. You must think that I’m bat shit crazy huh? Okay so, to make the rest of this long story short, my brother Shane never told me what he did with the poor guy I hogtied and, well… i don’t remember how this guy came to be in my possession. I really don’t.
The only thing my brother Shane told me was that he ungagged him, untied him, and that he was extremely pissed off. And that he had compensated him for his troubles.
Man, I felt so horrible. I felt so horrible…
What I do remember though is waking up that following afternoon with my face all fucked up. Dehydrated with a tremendous splitting headache. I had no clue as to why I looked and felt the way I did. It was terrifying.
All of our luggage was packed and my brother was just sitting there, legs crossed and his arms folded.
Hey man… Take it from me. Don’t do fuckin drugs.
Regards, “Alex” & “Shane”
Disclaimer- This story may not be used for anything other than reading, sharing your thoughts and enjoying it. It is now protected by the United States Library of Congress/Copyright Office. Thank you. ☘️

Hello everyone. I had a question about Medi-Cal. I did not meet the income requirement to keep my silver 94 PPO Blueshield. I recently got Medi-Cal Anthem.
I have an endocrinologist I have been seeing for about 10 years. I see him two times a year and pay out of pocket for the visit. He does not take any insurance. He is not part of any networks.

1. My medications from my out of network endocrinologist... When he sends medications to the pharmacy they are fully covered by Medi-Cal Anthem. This is such a big help to me It's life-changing.

Q: I was wondering why are the meds being covered since I have an HMO and he's not in network? (I'm not complaining, just curious).

1. On my medical card is a number I can call to locate labs to draw blood.

Q: Since the insurance is covering my meds from him, will they also cover bloodwork too? Can I go to one of these labs and hand them a lab slip for my endocrinologist and draw blood?
This has been stressing me out a lot. With my last insurance Blue shield PPO I could go straight to the lab and hand them the lab order and they would draw it. Or I could go to my primary care and she would punch in the labs from my endocrinologist and run the labs for me.
Q: How can I get lab work done in my case? I'm still looking for a primary care doctor. Will my primary care Dr be able to do this for me? I only need it done once a year...maximum 2 times a year.
Thank you for your help. Please let me know if I need to clarify anything or provide more information.

The article is intended primarily for Game Masters who play games in systems inspired by Lovecraft’s works, such as Call of Cthulhu or Delta Green. However, I hope that other fans of cosmic horror will also find something for themselves here. The interesting facts presented here may also be interesting for people who do not know the work of The Loner of Providence, but some of the references may be unclear to them. The article contains several anecdotes – either from real history or from beliefs that exist in the real world, and suggestions on how they can be related to the Cthulhu mythology. So read about:

• Sea Peoples, bane of ancient civilizations,
• a forgotten Eldritch abomination from Greek mythology,
• Jan Twardowski, the first man on the Moon,
• mathematicians and physicists who wanted to know the structure of reality and lost their minds,
• one of the most mysterious characters from the Bible and a dark, occult ritual that underlies monotheism.

Invasion of the Sea Peoples
Ancient, super-advanced, fallen civilizations are one of the favorite motifs of fantasy. And truth be told, something similar happened in real history. Of course, in reality, the fallen civilizations did not have sci-fi supertechnology at their disposal, but their collapse still led to great destabilization. We are talking about the invasion of the so-called Sea Peoples, which took place at the turn of the 13th and 12th centuries BC. The Sea Peoples are mobile and warlike groups of people of unknown origin. They caused the collapse of several advanced cultures, including: Mycenaean and Hittite. Only the Egyptians managed to defeat them in a great battle. Well, the material for Lovecraftian inspiration is obvious. A mysterious army, coming out of nowhere, called the „Sea Peoples”, leading to the fall of the most powerful human civilizations at that time? Let us add that, according to some historians, the descendants of the Sea Peoples destroyed by the Egyptians were the Philistines. Yes, the same Philistines, one of whose main deities was the well-known Dagon to Lovecraftomaniacs… Deep Ones say hello. Let us also add that, according to Egyptian records, the tribes of the Sea Peoples had names such as Ekvesh, Teresh, Lucki, Sherden, Shekelesh, Tekel and Peleset. Sounds suitably dark, blasphemous and filthy? If we want to dig deeper, one of the pharaohs who ruled Egypt was Akhenaten – yes, that heretic who tried to replace the worship of traditional Egyptian gods with the religion of the Aten and who is very much liked by conspiracy theorists. Let’s add to the mix that Middle Eastern cultures had quite a negative attitude towards the sea as such. Babylonian Marduk had to defeat the giant monsters of Chaos – Apsu and Tiamat, personifications of fresh and salt waters, respectively. The Bible also contains traces of the myth about the fight between Yahweh and Leviathan, and the Book of Revelation, describing the new, ideal world, emphasizes that „I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.” Let’s assume that the players are researchers of an antiquity – historians, archaeologists, etc. They conduct research on the Sea Peoples. Of course, as common sense dictates, they assume that these were human warriors. However, as time goes on, more and more evidence appears that they were not completely human again, and the evidence of their monstrosity becomes increasingly difficult to put down to the demonization that Egyptian chroniclers used against their enemies… It becomes clear that an onslaught of inhuman and semi-human monsters came from the sea. , trying to conquer the world of that time. Moreover, after their defeat at the hands of the Egyptians, this species did not become extinct, but instead of open conquest it switched to cautious infiltration. Perhaps the Deep Ones have spies in academia who are tasked with eliminating historians who find the trail of truth…
Oh, one more interesting fact connecting the history of the Sea Peoples with Lovecraft. Well, as we know, HPL liked to use the term „Cyclopean” for huge, monumental buildings. At least he didn’t come up with it himself. Well, when the later (and at first more primitive) inhabitants, the Dorians, saw the ruins of destroyed castles left by the Mycenaean culture, they came to the conclusion that such huge buildings could not have been built by human hands, so they were probably the work of mythical giants – cyclopes.
Typhon – a classic but forgotten abomination
Modern works drawing on Greek mythology usually make Hades (completely senseless) or Kronos (a little more) the Big Bad, but they forget about Zeus’s greatest enemy – Typhon. After defeating the titans and then the gigants, the Olympian gods had to face the main boss on the way to dominating the world – Typhon. Here is an example of its description: It was larger than the largest mountains, its head touched the stars. When he stretched out his hands, one reached the eastern ends of the world and the other reached the western ends. Instead of fingers, he had a hundred dragon heads. From the waist down he had a tangle of vipers (yay, tentacles!) and wings at his shoulders. His eyes were shooting out flames. In other versions of the myth, Typhon was a flying, hundred-headed dragon. In any case – appearance and stature worthy of the Great Old One. Typhon attacked Olympus, and all the gods except Zeus fled in panic. The supreme god took up the fight… and lost it. Only in the second duel did he manage to defeat Typhon, but not kill him – he only imprisoned him, hitting him with Etna. In the sense of a mountain. A volcano – and volcanic activity is the result of Typhon’s anger, trying to break free. Typhon equaled the lord of heaven not only in strength, but in fertility. His wife was Echidna, about whom Hesiod wrote: „She also gave birth to another creature, invincible, huge, unlike neither men nor immortal gods, in a hollow cave – the divine violent Echidna, half a sharp-eyed young girl, with beautiful cheeks, half a huge snake, a great and powerful, spotted, cruel – in the depths of the holy land. This pair spawned many, if not most, of the monsters found in Greek mythology. Their offspring were very diverse and strange, as befits the spawn of enemies of the divine order, including: – Ladon, the hundred-headed dragon who never slept and guarded the apples that gave immortality, – Cerberus – we all know the dog guarding the gates of hell… but not all of us know that, according to some accounts, it had not three heads, but as many as 50, it was also covered with scales, and it had a snake by its tail… so what does this have to do with a dog? – Scylla – this lady inherited the most from the human, beautiful part of Echidna… at least initially, but eventually, as a result of various perturbations, she turned from a beautiful nymph to her siblings, becoming a six-headed sea beast, so hideous, according to Homer, that even the gods could not stand sight of her – she dwelt in a cave, from where she opened her mouth to devour the crews of ships, – Gorgons – I mean, those ladies with snake hair, not monstrous bulls. Medusa was one of them – the story that Athena turned her priestess into a monster as punishment for being raped by Poseidon is an invention of later poets, – Lernaean Hydra – a multi-headed monster with many reptilian or human heads. In place of each severed head, two others grew, and in addition, the main head was completely immortal – therefore, after chopping off the mortal heads, Heracles had to burn the stumps and bury the immortal, still hissing head underground. Hydra’s breath was poisonous. – various other creatures, such as the Sphinx, the dog Ortus, the Nemean Lion or the Chimera. Each of these descendants has the potential to be portrayed as an Eldritch abomination in its own right. To be precise – according to some accounts, the father of these creatures (and Echidna herself) was Typhon, but a monstrous, ancient (older than Poseidon) sea god, Phorcys. How to use Typhon? Well, Typhon clearly has the potential to be a Great Old One, imprisoned by… Nodens? Some other Elder God? Weak gods of humanity? Maybe his cult is trying to free him from Etna? What if he succeeds? What might distinguish Typhon from many other Great Old Ones? I would recommend focusing on his monster progenitor aspect – if he manages to reunite with Echidna, they will immediately start spawning various blasphemous beasts in series.
Jan Twardowski – the first man on the Moon
Jan (John) Twardowski, the hero of the legend, a Polish nobleman who allegedly sold his soul to the devil and became a sorcerer. Probably a historical figure, according to legend he lived in the 16th century and became famous for summoning the spirit of the deceased queen for King Sigismund Augustus. The ghost allegedly appeared in the mirror. This mirror is still kept in the church in Węgrów. According to legend, when the terms of the pact were fulfilled, devils came to kidnap Twardowski to hell. Interestingly, instead of taking the sorcerer’s soul after death, the most material demons appeared and grabbed Twardowski in order to kidnap him bodily, alive… and instead of heading towards the underground, which in legends is considered the traditional place of residence of demons and damned souls, they began to carry away up with him. At some point, Twardowski started singing religious songs, which caused the demons to escape, leaving him on the Moon, where he is said to have stayed ever since. Could the “demons” actually be extraterrestrials? Maybe mi-go? Maybe Twardowski was their agent and obtained secret knowledge and technology from them that gave him the fame of a sorcerer? As part of his studies, did he acquire knowledge of a system of sounds („religious songs”) that was able to drive away his masters when they decided that his usefulness on Earth had ended and it was time to transport him to a space base where he would be transformed into a brain in jar? Or was transportation to the Moon part of the deal from the beginning? Oh, one more interesting fact – according to legends, Twardowski used to use a rooster as a horse, which he enlarged with his magic. It’s easy to imagine an abomination that, in the eyes of laymen, might have resembled a large rooster… Examples of scenario hooks: – Twardowski’s secret mirror is still in the church in Węgrów. The local priest thinks it is just other „pagan” superstitions, but in fact it is a tool enabling contact with cosmic beings and higher realities. It may prove useful to players if they convince the priest to give it back or simply steal it. – Players are looking for Twardowski’s notes to gain knowledge about the „song” thanks to which he drove away mi-go (or other creatures that became the prototype of the „devils” from the legend). The so-called Twardowski’s „School” or „Cathedral” was located in a quarry near Kraków. In fact, at the end of the 19th century, during the construction of the church of St. Józef, a cave showing traces of alchemical experiments was discovered… And it was destroyed. But perhaps there is a second, secret laboratory under the cave that escaped destruction? And there lie Twardowski’s secrets… And again, potential obstacles may be placed by the local parish priest. But not only him. Maybe Twardowski’s legendary „rooster” lies dormant in the laboratory and was left by the sorcerer as a guard? – players are astronauts on the Moon. However, it turns out that someone lives here, someone who was not detected by previous expeditions and probes. Will Twardowski prove to be an ally in the fight against cosmic horrors? Or maybe their agent, or an independent villain? If he survived this long on the Moon thanks to blasphemous secrets, it’s possible that he had little humanity left…
The rest of the text is avalaible (of course, for free) here: https://adeptusrpg.wordpress.com/2024/05/13/some-lovecraftian-inspiration-form-real-life-and-beliefs/

I've been playing live since post-covid and have been trying to take it semi-seriously as a side income. I started out the first 1yr-18mths mixing it up between cash and MTT's, then the past 2yrs switched to solely live cash as my results were better in cash and I preferred the consistency and was struggling with the higher variance of MTT's.
The last month or two I decided to take a stab at MTT's again as there are quite a few good tournament series in area in the coming months.
In the first series which fired bullets in 4 tournaments, I had semi-decent results (a couple of deep runs, bubbled the $1500 3-day main event and final tabled 8th out 262 runners in a $300 2-day side event).
I guess my question is regarding how to maintain mental fortitude when it comes to MTT's and the sure fire feeling of dejection that comes after busting, esp when you've gotten the chips in way ahead. I think I can actually cope more with when I get the chips in behind and go out, because I can look at the spot and if I made a mistake, look to alter my play to avoid this leak/spot in future.
It's the many times where you get the chips in either as slight or more pertinently, massive favourite, yet you are the one walking to the exit. What is the best way to cope with this and not get disheartened. My last 5 exits from MTT's have all come when I've gotten my chips in either just ahead or as 2-1 or 85/15 favourite.
One most recent example where I got all the chips in on the flop as a big favourite, 68% / 32%.
I would like to go over this hand history as I'm wondering did I need to defend my BB this wide, and if I just fold pre would I have avoided a whole lot of unnecessary hardship.
So:
Blinds are 400/800/800.
I have main villain well covered with around 38k. Villain is 25k effective, the other two opponents in the hand have similar or slightly less than him.
Villain in UTG+1 opens to 2k with AdAc. MP calls, SB calls and I look down at 94dd.
Now I hesitate as to whether I should defend this 4 gapper in this spot, but the fact that it was suited and I only had to put in 1200 to close the action and see the flop in a near 9k pot leaned me towards completing.
I complete
Pot 8800. The flop comes jinn for me, 2d 5d 7d. SB checks, I check, Villain c-bets 2500, MP folds, SB folds.
I c/r to 10k ( I picked this sizing to be roughly half his remaining stack, to give him the signal that I ain't folding).
He promptly ignores my signal and jams for his remaining 22k total. I snap him off. Turn a brick and River the King of diamonds, see's the pot shipped to him and me on life support with around 13BB's as the blinds increase to 500/1k/1k.
Before the blinds get around to me I get them in on a flip and lose.
I suppose my question is two-fold.

1. Do I need to be getting involved in the hand defending with 94dd? Or does the fact I was closing the action and getting 7/1 pot odds make it a slam dunk call or is this hand to wide a defend facing 3 opponents?
   
   1. Once I do get involved, and get the exactly the type of flop I was hoping for, should I just jam when he c-bets. (This is not really the question, I think the villain in question probably snaps even if I jam, but maybe 🤔).

I ultimately think I'm fine with how I played it once I flop it like that.
My real second question is how do you deal with effectively exiting tourney after tourney like this over and over again without questioning your sanity and rage quitting MTT's altogether.
So was I too wide in defending my BB in this particular set up?
And, any MTT mental fortitude tips much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

In today's fast-paced world, convenience is key, especially in the kitchen. That's why the arrival of the Nouveau Dishwasher is causing quite a stir among homemakers and busy individuals alike. But what sets this dishwasher apart from the rest, and how does it make our lives easier? Let's delve into the features of this modern marvel.
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