I am in serious need of guidance on a post breakup dating issue. A serious boyfriend (30) (Hank) and I (32) were together for 2 1/12 years and lived together for 1. We broke up in almost a year ago semi-amicably but stopped speaking 5 months ago.
Cut to now, I matched with a former co-worker of his on Hinge (Ben). Hank was “laid off” from that job in May 2023. However, they worked on the same team, interacted frequently while they worked together, and follow each other on Instagram but they do not have contact after Hank left that job (to my knowledge). My ex never liked Ben and would talk shit about him to me during our relationship so I was aware of their relation to one another.
Do I mention this to Ben at all or not? We have plans to get drinks later this week and I am conflicted. Hank is my ex and irrelevant to either of us since they no longer work together and haven’t for some time. On the other hand, it feels weird not mentioning it because I am allowing this guy to talk about himself and his job, some of which I already know via my ex. I had been playing dumb but he has since said where he works and the team/area of law he is in within the firm...not to mention I have his first and last name and he is easily google-able.
I don’t want to come across as a crazy ex that is dating my ex-boyfriend’s former associates but I also don’t know that I owe him anything. I also want to give Ben a chance to bail if he thinks it’s strange. Keep in mind, when Hank and I were dating, I had gone to a few intimate dinner parties with partners and associates of the team but Ben was never there.
When is an appropriate time to bring this up?
P.S. (Read for additional background if interested + additional question:
Should I even pursue this at all? The chance of my ex and I getting back together is just about 0% but I low key still love him and in my delusional mind if I managed to really get my shit together maybe some fay we could...and I think that this would be something Hank (my ex) would find messed up as he feels as though Ben took his job from him (however unwarranted). I can't be certain but I think he may have even said it would bother him if we were to even break up and I were to start dating Ben. That being said, I know that they sexted while we were together (we had an open relationship but still). Additionally, I don't know where my ex and I even stand. I am assuming it isn't on good terms because he blocked my number (presumably because I called him a couple times post 3AM when I was drunk/high but I was messed up in the throws of a break up and that's typical toxic bs). I'm taking it to mean he is so over me and doesn't want to deal at all, thinks I am a mess, and couldn't care less. So more power to me? Part of me thinks, and hopes that he blocked me because he knew it was over and had to just make a clean break (I had heard he was having a bit if a life crisis shortly after our break up...not just bc of me but not nott bc of me)....I say this because for a few months after our break up we would text. Just about this and that. Nothing necessarily of substance but just little things. Also, right before he blocked me he had messaged me pictures of our old apartment and said "do you miss it?"...I think he was trying to reminisce but I'm not sure because I didn't respond, didn't plan to, and then called him drunk at 3AM. He didn't answer but then the next day when I texted him to apolgize for calling late (because I knew he hated that) he had blocked me and I found out he dropped off my childhood decorations at my brother's house rather than at mine.
Soooo it's over. I just can't help but hesitate because he did mean a lot to me and frankly he had some legit reasons for the break up. Not that I was cheating or anything but I was using drugs behind his back, which he was unaware of exactly but the affects of my behavior had repercussions (i.e. not wanting to have sex, being lazy, not being a proactive partner, not working out, etc.)....It's hard to say but I took it for granted..He was not saint either to be honest. He pushed for an open relationship that I didn't want but agreed because I was in love with him and I loved our connection.
Ok, I'm sorry. I got off topic. The question is - do I mention to this new guy that I used to date his former coworker? When do I bring it up, if at all? I had planned on playing dumb but feel as though I no longer can because it's been made crystal clear that they worked at the same company, at the same time, in the same group.

Hi. I am very afraid of insects, something I didn't learn about myself until I moved into a "garden level" apartment. I'm working on moving past this fear (terror), but I would really like to sleep tonight, and right now that is not looking like an option.
By what I've been able to glean from research without being able to look at photos of course...is I have silverfish, some sort of cockroach thing with wings(??), ants, spiders , and who knows what else. I live in the 4-corners area of the United States for reference.
My problem and reason For making this post is because I found so much conflicting information that i'm just not sure anymore. Can anyone clear any of this up for me? I just need a basic rundown of myth vs reality as to what repels and/or kills household insects.
A. Candles. Attract or repel? Light attracts insects, but they don't like fire (right?) I have a beeswax candle, I heard they don't like that. What about citronella as a general stay-away -from -me- tool?
B. Some sites say you can make your own super killer spray with bleach and vinegar, and the next page I read would say that still just attracts them. I just murdered the crap out of one of those weird looking winged roach things with this mixture, but im standing in the middle of the room too afraid to move. Im looking to make some witch-magic circle thing that bugs will not cross to get to me
C. Ultrasonic plug in repellers- good to add to the arsenal or should I just throw my money away?
I know that there are different types of insects and bugs and all of that stuff. I might be able to grow a pair and post a picture if someone really needs it...hopefully not, though.
Additional info: What I have already done:
I. Sprayed the ortho home defense max inside and out, carefully following instructions II. Laid down diatomaceous earth outside III.Laid down diatomaceous earth inside in the baseboard cracks and openings and then sealed them up with caulk/putty caulk, pushing the d.e. inside to act as an insulator IV. I just moved here. So it was fairly clean to begin with. But I just re-cleaned everything on the inside just in case. V. It's 1am and I'm weatherstripping my front door
Thank you if you're still here. I might also need a therapist, (lol) but for now, it's bug murder time. If anyone can help I would appreciate it.*
EDIT: i am looking at the diatomaceous Earth that I bought And I think I bought the wrong one. It's from Lowes. Is it safe for my health to use inside my home, and will it still kill bugs? 85%silicon dioxide 15% other INGREDIENTS. Thank you thank you thank you
what I bought

Went on a date after a long break. Thought I was on my game, but hindsight’s 20/20. Missed some cues and got a reality check—confidence can cloud judgment, and it’s always rose colored lenses when you’re on a date with a 8... I was fumbling out there like a clown jester 🤡
Here’s the lowdown:

• Showed up in some old outfit that sucked but overthinking shopping as I don’t know what I’m doing and go with the black shirt and pants, (Starbucks employee basically lol)… I should also add that she looked incredible and definitely put some thought into it etc. — any tips for go to outfits?
  
• Gained some weight recently—comfort eating's a tough habit to kick. Mental health is 40/60 so there’s work to be done but can’t keep waiting around doing nothing and meeting no one I guess
  
• Went for a budget haircut; you can guess how that turned out. It really is bizarre how expensive it is in my opinion. How much do you guys spend?
  
• Tried to crack jokes, ended up poking fun at myself and was a bit self depreciating at times… do you guys have any good convo topics or bail out go to’s?
  
• The end of date walk was too chilly, making it more awkward and random than romantic. We already cancelled the week before because of the rain. It is kinda crazy how you have to account for some last minute changes and weather etc.
  

It wasn’t all bad, I definitely hit the mark several times and she was at a high interest for days after.
The almost predictable shift of polarity came at some point recently after some scheduling fails I made that “somehow” spiraled into texting way too much and “opening up” over text (cringe)
Now, I'm all about self-improvement: dressing better, hitting the gym, focusing on my career, and HHH!!
Your turn. What are your dos and don'ts for a great first date?

Needless to remind people of the good old Deccan Chargers days. I was young and didn't follow cricket at that time. My dad would always watch it, so I would catch glimpses of CSK playing in 2011 and 2012 times. Soon, I had an interest and wanted to support a relatively unknown team, or an underdog if you will. In 2013 with SRH being announced, I wanted to properly support a brand new team. I was still learning to understand the game; I was 15 at the time. Loved watching Steyn and just always loved watching good bowling more than batting. Of course, I enjoy the batting powerhouse we have become. But throughout this journey of being an SRH fan, I have noticed the love affair we have had for Aussies and Sri Lankans in our squad. Gilchrist leading DC to a title, then the great Sanga leading us to the playoffs in our first season as SRH. Perera's all-round show. David Warner in 2016 leading us to a title when RCB were cruising the chase. Who could forget Ben Cutting's best all-round performance in a final. Yuvi striking like crazy in that game. Bhuvi defending 18 runs off the final over by conceding just 10!
Now fast forward to 2024, we have David Warner's role split into 2. The duo of Cummins with captaincy and Warner 2.0 batting with Travis. And should we play a final like this again, maybe even against RCB, we'll have a similar squad. We have Nitish who has risen, and dare I say may even be our Ben Cutting with all-round stellar show we have seen from him thus far, not quite up to Ben's level but still. I know before I wanted Samad to be our Ben Cutting, but I think Nitish is more suited for that because he can bowl too, gives us 2 or 3 overs. Bhuvi is, of course, still with us, regaining his confidence, just like the 2016 Bhuvi. We have Yuvi's presence again through Abhi. Bipul Sharma, left-arm spinner, we now have Shahbaz. We have quite a few upgrades now for our wicket-keeping in Klaasen, 6 hitter in Samad (once he regains his confidence), Nattu who is reliable at the death, Pace train in Umran, and a genuine spin bowling option in Vijayakanth, the Sri Lankan flair coming back. Few interesting similarities about Vijayakanth is that he's relatively unknown like Mustafizur was back in 2016 and in 2018 we had a spinner that performed superbly for us, you know the name... Could it all be coming together for us? Could he be our missing piece, especially on a slow Chepauk track? Could Mayank play an anchor role like Dhawan and redeem himself? Time will tell.
Of course, it would have been nice to give Glen Phillips a try, and who knows, maybe he's our trump card? Maybe Cummins and Vettori are planning something we just don't know yet, or they are happy with the setup we have now. But there's yet another similarity if Glen Phillips is to sit out... remember in 2016 we had Trent Boult, Kane Williamson, and even Eoin Morgan sitting on the bench! Any other team, they would have been a regular in the 11! We insisted on Fizz, we insisted on Ben Cutting and Moises. Did it work out? No, not really, other than Ben Cutting; the other two had an average game. And remember, we won! We WON the final! Not sure if there is a certain luck aspect associated here but in 2016 both Kiwis did not play and in 2018 when we had a kiwi playing despite his amazing 700+ season, our title hopes wasn't to be. Another luck aspect to think about is of course the jersey, SA20 back to back winners, Sunrisers Eastern Cape.
I'm perhaps getting a bit too ahead of myself thinking of a final, but the fact of the matter is we have done so well thus far because it has been Cummins and Vettori's team through and through. They are sticking to their guts and saying this is what we are doing. Mayank, Tripathi, Sundar, Umran, Jansen, and Markram, our former captain, half the side that played in the 2022 season, dropped! They have good reasons for it, and that's okay. Just trust them! We were the underdogs at the start of the season once again, just like we were in 2016. THIS is our key. No one sees us coming; people still don't rate us though we have shown the world how T20 batting is done. I want us to be the underdogs; I want us to keep surprising; I want us to be the calm and composed fans that we have prided ourselves to be. Let's not become toxic, it was never our style. Please don't abuse the players or foul mouth other teams. Appreciate and enjoy them. Even if we lose both games and we don't qualify, I'm okay with that, same with winning the cup. Whatever happens SRH forever! We as the fans have had a season to remember for the ages.
Thank you, Cummins, for everything! All the best for the remaining games and playoffs should we make it. You are going to T20 World Cup as a T20 bowler when people doubted your abilities in the shortest format after picking you at the auctions. What a season you have had and lifted the entire fanbase's emotions up and carried us to the peak of entertainment and happiness. Thank you so much!

Have I been here before? Yes. Will I learn my lesson? No.
I'm stubborn as hell when it comes to being a hopeful romantic. People are always better than what the world shows them to be. But finding them, that's the hard part. So here I am. Doing the hard part.
I want us to be best friends. True and vulnerable with each other. Make each other feel validated, seen, wanted, desired. All of it. I love giving and I hope to find someone who loves it too. And hopefully we can build something meaningful and lasting through it, while at the same time have something carnal and passionate. One where we take care of each other in every way.
I can be sarcastic as hell and the dad jokes will keep coming, but with the right person, I can only imagine how crazy the banter would be. And hopefully if we find each other attractive, it would be so much more amazing to see you in way not everyone sees.
Please put some effort into the conversation. Because I definitely will.
Here is me: https://imgur.com/a/aSTSRgX
If this got your attention, hit me up and make sure to include your picture in your message so we both know who we are talking to. That way we can both start off strong. :)

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and finally I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

Hello world, I have a beautiful Sony A9 (1st version from 2017). It's a hell of a beast that I use for birding with a SONY 200 - 600 and I love the low iso capabilities of this camera, however, tiny birds and a 24mp sensor most of the time fall short for my task (I think). That's what brings me up to make this post. I know my camera weaknesses, that will prevent me from getting a lot of detail in most situations and I think it's mainly two:
1st the fact that it has a low pass filter, aka AA filter which decreases the moire effect at the expense of detail (I knew this since I bought it but I wanted the crazy high iso capability and the stacked sensor).
The 2nd is the 24mp sensor... which Its ok for large birds like storks and egrets and medium sized birds like crows, magpies and dove sized birds... but its pretty hard for small ones like those known as tits, antshrikes, tanagers, warblers... specially because they tend to be in low light conditions where I would like to shot beyond 2000 ISO, and still getting a lot of detail. I have seen other users from Sony and even other brands shooting at crazy high ISO and still getting great detail. I have managed to shot even at 16.000 and 25.600 and details are there, but sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I know Im missing something, there must be something for sure and I would like to get some advice that point me out in the right direction to:
1st. Be more confident to use high iso in the right way knowing I will get details.
2nd. If you are comfortable shooting beyond 2000 iso and you manage to get amazing detail, what workflow would you suggest to get the most of the pics. I don't mind using AI for denoise or sharpening (indeed I have used it) but I have seen that sometimes, AI processing tends to create some artifacts or exaggerates the details in a way that they no longer look natural.
3rd. I have picture with incredible detail and when I post them on instagram, the compression messes them up. I have seen people posting pictures and they have their amazing detail, however, my pics tend to lose a lot of detail when posted.
I'm not posting any pictures since I want to prevent biases. However, if they are needed, please look at the following links:
ISO 25600... in the description of the picture you can find the exif.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C4_eTPxL1n6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I think this one was ISO 16000 or 20000, I'm not sure:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CnsPZIWOYVG/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
These are the shots where everything went alright despite of high iso, but this is not what I always get consistently.
Thanks in advance for any advice you can provide me.

• ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ### 👽👽👽 Welcome to Furystorm's boutique ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 👽👽👽

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20 $ per each

Info about rewards can be found here - https://robertsspaceindustries.com/referral-program
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Upgrades

Item	Price, $
Banu Tholo code	80
Banu Lockbox (Banu Cube) code	100
Mole to Merchantman	199
Starfarer Gemini to Merchantman	189
C2 Hercules to Carrack	139
Valkyrie to Carrack	169
Constellation Aquila to Orion	219
Starfarer Gemini to Hull D Upgrade	109
Constellation Andromeda to Hull C Upgrade	139
Anvil Terrapin to Hull C Upgrade	179
F7C-R Hornet Tracker to Constellation Taurus	39
Corsair to 400i Warbond Edition	12
Hull E to Polaris	50
Ship Upgrades - Drake Kraken Conversion Kit	799
PAINTS - PERSEUS - THUNDERCLOUD PAINT	31

Stuff

Item	Price, $
CitizenCon 2951 Digital Goodies	9
Gemini LH86 Pistol - Voyager edition	6
Kruger P-72 Emerald	105
RSI VENTURE PATHFINDER ARM ARMOR	10
RSI VENTURE VOYAGER ARM ARMOR	10

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►4◄ GAME AND SHIP COMBO PACKAGES
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Package	Insurance	SC+SQ42	Price, $	Comments
PACKAGE - 2943 WEEKEND WARRIOR - LTI	LTI	SC + SQ42	299	F7C-M Super Hornet LTI pack
Package - Syulen Starter Pack	LTI	SC	115	Syulen LTI pack
Package - Aurora LN	3MI	SC + SQ42	59	Aurora LN (best aurora) Starter package
Mustang Alpha Starter	3MI	SC	55	-
Anniversary 2017 Mustang Discount Starter	5YI	No	54	-
Nox 2 pack	LTI	No	121	Nox + Nox Kue
Aopoa Nox 5 Pack	LTI	No	242	4 Nox + 1 Nox Kue
Race Team Pack	LTI	No	168	X1 + NOX + Dragonfly Black
Origin X1 THREE-PACK	LTI	No	174	X1 Baseline + Velocity + Force
Entrepreneur pack	LTI	Yes	683	Prospector + Vulture + Vulcan + Hull B + Ursa Rover
The Tortoise and the Hurricane	LTI	No	415	Anvil Hurricane + Anvil Terrapin
Starfarer + Nox 2 pack	LTI	No	431	Starfarer + Nox + Nox Kue
Origin 600i Series Combo Pack	LTI	No	977	600i Luxury + Exploration + Origin X1
Scoundrel Pack	LTI	Yes	788	7 Items, see picture
Aegis Wrecking Crew Pack	LTI	No	1155	Reclaimer + Vulcan + Eclipse + Avenger Warlock/Titan
Exotic Mega Pack	LTI	No	1260	Banu MM + Genesis Starliner + Khartu-al + other small ships
UEE Exploration 2948 Pack	LTI	Yes	850	Carrack, Terrapin, Freelancer DUR, Cyclone RN

Game package can be upgrade as well on your demand, price negotiated
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Ship manufacturer	Ship model	Insurance	Price (CCU-d), $	Price (Original sale), $
Aopoa (Xi'an)	Khartu-Al	LTI	179	-
-	Nox	LTI	-	77
-	Nox Kue	LTI	-	77
-	San'Tok.Yai	LTI	231	-
Aegis Dynamics	Avenger Titan	LTI	74	100
-	Avenger Titan Renegade	LTI	95	111
-	Avenger Stalker	LTI	84	-
-	Avenger Warlock	LTI	100	-
-	Eclipse	LTI	305	333
-	Gladius	LTI	116	-
-	Gladius Valiant	LTI	132	147
-	Hammerhead	LTI	672	777
-	Hammerhead Best in Show Edition	LTI	746	-
-	Nautilus	LTI	672	-
-	Reclaimer	LTI	336	550
-	Reclaimer Best in Show Edition	LTI	429	-
-	Redeemer	LTI	333	-
-	Retaliator Bomber	LTI	284	-
-	Sabre	LTI	184	221
-	Sabre Comet	LTI	195	-
-	Vanguard Warden	LTI	263	357
-	Vanguard Harbinger	LTI	289	-
-	Vanguard Sentinel	LTI	268	-
-	Vanguard Hoplite	LTI	231	268
-	Vulcan	LTI	216	242
ARGO Astronautics	MPUV Cargo	LTI	74	84
-	MPUV Personnel	LTI	-	89
	Raft	LTI	142	-
-	SRV	LTI	165	-
-	Mole	LTI	321	-
-	Combo Pack	LTI	-	111
Anvil Aerospace	Arrow	LTI	95	137
-	C8X Pisces Expedition	LTI	69	79
-	C8R Pisces	LTI	84	-
-	Carrack	LTI	420	-
-	Carrack W/C8X	LTI	440	-
-	Carrack Expedition	LTI	447	-
-	Carrack Expedition W/C8X	LTI	468	-
-	Crucible	LTI	369	431
-	F7C Hornet	LTI	121	-
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	LTI	189	210
-	F7C-S Hornet Ghost	LTI	140	-
-	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	LTI	155	-
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	LTI	199	252
-	F7C-M Hornet Heartseeker	LTI	200	-
-	Gladiator	LTI	177	221
-	Hawk	LTI	116	132
-	Hurricane	LTI	210	231
-	Terrapin	LTI	231	263
-	Valkyrie	LTI	357	-
-	Legionnaire	LTI	132	-
Banu	Merchantman	LTI	399	-
-	Defender	LTI	226	237
Consolidated outland	Mustang Beta	LTI	95	-
-	Mustang Gamma	LTI	74	-
-	Mustang Delta	LTI	84	-
-	Pioneer	LTI	-	1499
Crusader Industries	Ares Inferno	LTI	252	-
-	Ares Ion	LTI	252	-
-	Genesis Starliner	LTI	357	578
-	C2 Hercules	LTI	368	-
-	M2 Hercules	LTI	483	-
-	A2 Hercules	LTI	735	-
	C1 Spirit	LTI	137	-
	E1 Spirit	LTI	163	-
	A1 Spirit	LTI	210	-
-	Mercury Star Runner	LTI	273	-
Drake Interplanetary	Dragonfly Yellowjacket	LTI	-	84
-	Dragonfly Black	LTI	-	84
-	Dragonfly Ride Together Two-Pack	LTI	-	126
-	Buccaneer	LTI	126	142
-	Caterpillar	LTI	336	-
-	Caterpillar Best in Show Edition	LTI	347	-
-	Corsair	LTI	263	-
-	Cutlass Black	LTI	126	-
-	Cutlass Black Best in Show Edition (2949)	LTI	137	-
-	Cutlass Steel	LTI	221	-
-	Cutlass Red	LTI	142	-
-	Cutlass Blue	LTI	168	-
-	Herald	LTI	111	-
-	Vulture	LTI	158	-
Esperia	Vanduul Blade	LTI	284	326
-	Vanduul Glaive	LTI	373	-
-	Prowler	LTI	399	510
-	Talon	LTI	132	-
-	Talon Shrike	LTI	132	-
Gatac	Railen	LTI	242	-
Greycat Industrial	ROC	LTI	77	-
Kruger Intergalactic	P-72 Archimedes	LTI	-	90
-	P-72 Archimedes Emerald	LTI	-	105
Mirai	Fury	LTI	69	-
-	Fury MX	LTI	69	-
-	Fury LX	LTI	69	-
MISC	Endeavor BASE	LTI	378	-
-	Endeavor DISCOVERY-CLASS	LTI	-	683
-	Endeavor Master Set 2018	LTI	-	1399
	Expanse	LTI	168	-
-	Freelancer	LTI	121	-
-	Freelancer DUR	LTI	147	-
-	Freelancer MAX	LTI	163	-
-	Freelancer MIS	LTI	184	-
-	HULL A	LTI	99	-
-	HULL B	LTI	147	-
-	HULL C	LTI	357	-
-	HULL D	LTI	462	-
-	Odyssey	LTI	578	-
-	Razor	LTI	163	179
-	Razor LX	LTI	168	-
-	Razor EX	LTI	174	-
-	Prospector	LTI	163	179
-	Reliant Kore (Mini Hauler)	LTI	84	105
-	Reliant Tana (Skirmisher)	LTI	95	-
-	Reliant Mako (News Van)	LTI	121	-
-	Reliant Sen (Researcher)	LTI	105	-
-	Starfarer	LTI	315	399
-	Starfarer Gemini	LTI	347	452
Origin Jumpworks	X1 Baseline	LTI	-	69
-	X1 Velocity	LTI	-	74
-	X1 Force	LTI	-	79
-	M50	LTI	121	-
-	85X	LTI	-	79
-	100I	LTI	74	95
-	125A	LTI	79	-
-	135C	LTI	84	-
-	300I	LTI	77	-
-	315P	LTI	77	-
-	325A	LTI	93	-
-	350R	LTI	137	-
-	400i	LTI	265	-
-	600i Touring	LTI	399	525
-	600i Exploration	LTI	420	580
RSI	Aurora CL	LTI	74	-
-	Apollo Triage	LTI	268	-
-	Apollo Medivac	LTI	294	-
-	Galaxy	LTI	378	-
-	Mantis	LTI	168	-
-	Perseus	LTI	557	-
-	Polaris	LTI	735	999
-	Constellation Taurus	LTI	179	-
-	Constellation Andromeda	LTI	252	315
-	Constellation Aquila	LTI	321	-
	Zeus MK II MR	LTI	205	-
	Zeus MK II ES	LTI	163	-
	Zeus MK II CL	LTI	163	-
-	Scorpius	LTI	263	-
-	Scorpius Antares	LTI	252	-
-	Orion	LTI	489	-

╔════════════════════════════════════╗
►6◄ NON-LTI SHIPS & PACKAGES, COMMON
╚════════════════════════════════════╝

Ship/Package	Insurance	Price, $	Comments
Consolidated Outland Mustang Alpha Vindicator	6MI	66	Limited Vindicator version
Kruger P-72 Archimedes	10YI	55	-
Kruger P-72 Archimedes	6YI	45	-
Kruger P-52 Merlin	6YI	37	-
RSI Aurora ES	10YI	37	-
Argo MPUV 1C Cargo	10YI	53	-
MISC Endeavor OLYMPIC-CLASS	4YI	578	Endeavor with modules
RSI Constellation Phoenix	10YI	399	-
RSI Constellation Phoenix	6YI	389	-
Origin 890 Jump	6MI	1099	-
Origin 890 Jump	6YI	1249	-
Origin 890 Jump	10YI	1349	-

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗
►7◄ PLANETARY VEHICLES & COMBO PACKAGES
╚══════════════════════════════════════════╝

Vehicle	Insurance	Price (CCU-d), $	Price (Concept), $	Comments
Anvil Ballista	LTI	153		-
Hoverquad	LTI		74	-
Greycat PTV	6YI		27	-
Greycat PTV	10YI		37	-
Origin G12	LTI	84		-
Origin G12R	LTI		84	-
Origin G12A	LTI		90	-
Tumbril Cyclone	LTI		74	Base version
Tumbril Cyclone-TR	LTI		79	With ground turret
Tumbril Cyclone-RC	LTI		79	Speedster
Tumbril Cyclone-AA	LTI		95	Anti-air + countermeasures
Tumbril Cyclone-RN	LTI		79	Scout & Scan
Tumbril Ranger RC	LTI	105		Racer
Tumbril Ranger CV	LTI	111		Offroad
Tumbril Ranger TR	LTI	116		With Gun
Tumbril Nova	LTI	126	132	Tank
URSA Rover	5YI		63	-
URSA Rover	10YI		70
Lynx	LTI	79
URSA Rover Fortuna	LTI	79		Limited green skin edition

Below are listed combo packs with different combination of vehicles, or with space ships

Combo packs	Insurance	Price (Concept), $	Comments
Offroad Vehicle Pack	LTI	137	Cyclone TR + URSA + Greycat PTV
Tumbril Cyclone Pack	LTI	305	All Cyclones
All-Terrain Vehicle Mega Pack	LTI	473	All Cyclones + Ursa + Lynx + Greycat
Air and Space Pack LTI	LTI	315	Terrapin + Cyclone AA
Ground Vehicle Pack VIP	LTI	378	Gragonfly + Nox + X1 + Ursa + Cyclone + Nova + bonus
Deluxe Ground Vehicle Pack VIP	LTI	840	A lot of items, check screenshot

╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════╗
►8.1◄ MODULES, PODS, BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KITS (BUKS), OTHER ITEMS
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════╝

Module	Insurance	Price, $
MISC Endeavor Modules (Pods)	-	-
BIODOME POD	10YI	126
TELESCOPE ARRAY POD	10YI	153
SUPERCOLLIDER POD	10YI	155
SERVICE EQUIPMENT AND CREW POD	10YI	53
GENERAL RESEARCH POD	10YI	72
GENERAL SCIENCE POD	10YI	71
FUEL POD	10YI	60
MEDICAL BAY POD	10YI	105
LANDING BAY	10YI	105
RSI Galaxy Modules
Galaxy - Med Bay Module	10YI	116
Galaxy - Refinery Module	10YI	126
Galaxy - Cargo Module	10YI	95
Aegis Vanguard battlefield upgrade kits
Harbinger battlefield upgrade kit	LTI	140
Sentinel battlefield upgrade kit	6MI	69
Other stuff
Add-ons - Aegis Idris P after market kit	-	294

╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
►8.2 ◄ FPS WEAPONS, ARMOR, CLOTHES AND OTHER GEAR
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

Module	Insurance	Price, $
Overlord "Dust Storm" Armor Set	-	11
Overlord "Riptide" Armor Set	-	11
Overlord Helmets "Silent Strike" Pack	-	8
Overlord Helmets "Forces of Nature" Pack	-	8
Parasite Replica Helmet (Original)	-	11
Parasite Replica Helmet (Dark Birth)	-	11
Stegman's Cordimon "Voyager" Complete Outfit	-	11
Stegman's IndVest “Pathfinder” Complete Outfit	-	11
RSI MacFlex Rust Society full armor set (5 items)	-	21
RSI Venture Rust Society full armor set (5 items)	-	32
Mr. Refinement’s Cabinet of Rare & Exquisite Spirits	-	11
Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #1	-	5
Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #2	-	5
"Caudillo" Helmets Pack #1 by CC's Conversions	-	10
"Caudillo" Helmets Pack #2 by CC's Conversions	-	10
"Caudillo" Helmets Pack #3 by CC's Conversions	-	10
QuikFlarePro Pack	-	5
QuikFlarePro Pack Deluxe	-	6
Polar Vortex Collection	-	7
Cold Front Collection	-	7
UltiFlex FSK-8 "Mirage" Combat Knife	-	5
UltiFlex FSK-8 "Ghost" Combat Knife	-	5
Urban Collection by Element Authority	-	11
Adventurer Collection by Element Authority	-	11
Manaslu Rust Society Jacket	-	8
RSI Horizon Rust Society Helmet	-	8
RSI Beacon Rust Society Undersuit	-	6
Paladin helmet	-	10

╔════════════════════════════════════════╗
►9◄ CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUS), SHIPS
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝

IAE-insurance upgrades (adds IAE insurance (10 years) to your ship)

Upgrade	Price, $
Prospector to F7C-M Super Hornet	50
Vanguard Warden to Caterpillar	60

Sorted by: Manufacturer -> ship

Target ship manufacturer	Target ship	Upgrade from	Price, $
Aegis Dynamics	Avenger Titan Renegade	325A	18
-	Avenger Warlock	325A	29
-	Avenger Warlock	Arrow	26
-	Eclipse	Constellation Andromeda	78
-	Eclipse	Vanguard Sentinel	37
-	Eclipse	Vanguard Warden	53
-	Eclipse	Blade	37
-	Gladius Valiant	Gladius	32
-	Gladius Valiant	M50	23
-	Hammerhead	Constellation Aquila	483
-	Hammerhead	600i Touring	357
-	Hammerhead	600i Explorer	315
-	Hammerhead	Merchantman	131
-	Hammerhead	Hull D	341
-	Hammerhead	Crucible	446
-	Hammerhead	Carrack	278
-	Hammerhead	Reclaimer	383
-	Hammerhead	Prowler	351
-	Hammerhead	Orion	210
-	Hammerhead	Glaive	446
-	Hammerhead	A2 Hercules	52
-	Nautilus	Constellation Aquila	467
-	Nautilus	Endeavor	425
-	Nautilus	Crucible	425
-	Nautilus	Genesis Starliner	372
-	Nautilus	M2 Hercules	246
-	Nautilus	Merchantman	110
-	Nautilus	600i Explorer	294
-	Nautilus	600i Touring	336
-	Nautilus	Orion	189
-	Nautilus	Prowler	330
-	Nautilus	Carrack	278
-	Nautilus	Reclaimer	372
-	Nautilus	Hull D	320
-	Nautilus	C2 Hercules	372
-	Nautilus	Valkyrie	399
-	Reclaimer	Constellation Aquila	115
-	Reclaimer	Starfarer Gemini	84
-	Reclaimer	Endeavor	73
-	Reclaimer	Crucible	73
-	Redeemer	Constellation Andromeda	78
-	Redeemer	Vanguard Hoplite	84
-	Redeemer	Mole	26
-	Retaliator Bomber	Constellation Andromeda	57
-	Retaliator Base	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	25
-	Sabre	Prospector	31
-	Sabre	Gladiator	16
-	Sabre Comet	Sabre	31
-	Sabre Comet	Freelancer MIS	26
-	Sabre Comet	Khartu-Al	31
-	Sabre Comet	F7C Hornet Wildfire	23
-	Sabre Comet	Gladiator	35
-	Sabre Comet	F7C-M Super Hornet	20
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Constellation Andromeda	68
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Retaliator Bomber	31
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Vanguard Sentinel	26
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Vanguard Hoplite	73
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Vanguard Warden	42
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Constellation Taurus	59
-	Vanguard Hoplite	San'Tok.Yai	28
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Defender	28
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Corsair	-3
-	Vanguard Hoplite	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	54
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Hurricane	54
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Terrapin	28
-	Vanguard Sentinel	Constellation Andromeda	52
-	Vanguard Sentinel	Vanguard Warden	31
-	Vanguard Warden	Constellation Andromeda	31
-	Vanguard Warden	Vanguard Hoplite	40
-	Vulcan	Constellation Taurus	25
-	Vulcan	Prospector	61
Anvil Aerospace	Carrack	Constellation Aquila	273
-	Carrack	Mole	320
-	Carrack	M2 Hercules	99
-	Carrack	600i Explorer	147
-	Carrack	600i Touring	189
-	Carrack	Orion	42
-	Carrack	Prowler	183
-	Carrack	Reclaimer	225
-	Carrack	Genesis Starliner	225
-	Carrack	Valkyrie	215
-	Carrack	C2 Hercules	189
-	Carrack	Hull D	178
-	Carrack	Merchantman	-31
-	Carrack	Endeavor	283
-	Carrack	Crucible	283
-	Carrack	Starfarer Gemini	294
-	Carrack W/C8X	Carrack	55
-	Carrack Expedition	Carrack	60
-	Carrack Expedition	Carrack W/C8X	40
-	Carrack Expedition W/C8X	Carrack	80
-	Carrack Expedition W/C8X	Carrack W/C8X	73
-	Carrack Expedition W/C8X	Carrack Expedition	68
-	Crucible	Starfarer Gemini	26
-	Crucible	Constellation Aquila	99
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Prospector	37
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Khartu-AL	22
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	F7C Hornet Wildfire	16
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Gladiator	27
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Freelancer MIS	16
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Sabre	22
-	F7C-M Super Hornet	Razor EX	37
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Constellation Taurus	21
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Freelancer MAX	63
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Prospector	57
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Razor EX	57
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Gladiator	47
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Khartu-AL	42
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Sabre	42
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Sabre Comet	26
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	F7C Hornet Wildfire	36
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Freelancer MIS	36
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	Prospector	31
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	Khartu-Al	16
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	Gladiator	22
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	Sabre	16
-	Gladiator	Prospector	21
-	Hawk	Gladius	21
-	Hurricane	Constellation Taurus	22
-	Hurricane	Prospector	53
-	Hurricane	Gladiator	43
-	Hurricane	F7C Hornet Wildfire	32
-	Hurricane	F7C-M Super Hornet	27
-	Hurricane	Freelancer MIS	32
-	Hurricane	Sabre	37
-	Hurricane	Sabre Comet	22
-	Hurricane	Khartu-Al	37
-	Terrapin	Prospector	84
-	Terrapin	Constellation Taurus	44
-	Terrapin	Freelancer MAX	86
-	Terrapin	F7C-M Super Hornet	57
-	Terrapin	Freelancer MIS	63
-	Terrapin	Vulcan	36
-	Terrapin	Gladiator	73
-	Terrapin	Khartu-Al	65
-	Terrapin	Sabre	65
-	Valkyrie	Constellation Aquila	84
-	Valkyrie	Endeavor	42
-	Valkyrie	Starfarer Gemini	52
-	Valkyrie	Crucible	42
-	Valkyrie	Glaive	42
Aopoa (Xi'an)	Khartu-Al	Prospector	29
-	Khartu-Al	Freelancer MAX	31
-	Nox	Aurora LN	27
-	Nox	Dragonfly Black	15
-	Nox	Dragonfly Yellowjacket	15
-	Nox	MPUV Cargo	27
-	Nox Kue	Aurora LN	23
-	Nox Kue	Dragonfly Black	15
-	Nox Kue	Dragonfly Yellowjacket	15
-	Nox Kue	Mustang Beta	15
-	Nox Kue	MPUV Personnel	15
-	Nox Kue	X1 Baseline	15
-	Nox Kue	MPUV Cargo	22
-	San'Tok.Yai	Constellation Taurus	46
-	San'Tok.Yai	Hurricane	40
-	San'Tok.Yai	Vulcan	35
ARGO Astronautics	MPUV Personnel	Aurora LN	15
-	MPUV Cargo	Mustang Alpha	15
-	SRV	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	37
-	SRV	Razor	32
Banu	Merchantman	Mole	239
-	Merchantman	Starfarer Gemini	220
-	Merchantman	Prowler	231
-	Merchantman	600i Touring	236
-	Merchantman	600i Explorer	194
-	Merchantman	Genesis Starliner	273
-	Defender	Constellation Taurus	42
-	Defender	Retaliator Base	84
-	Defender	Cutlass Blue	57
-	Defender	Freelancer MIS	65
-	Defender	Gladiator	70
-	Defender	Khartu-Al	65
-	Defender	Sabre	65
-	Defender	F7C Hornet Wildfire	59
-	Defender	F7C-M Super Hornet	55
Consolidated outland	Mustang Delta	Mustang Gamma	22
-	Mustang Delta	Avenger Stalker	15
Crusader Industries	Genesis Starliner	Constellation Aquila	120
-	Genesis Starliner	Endeavor	73
-	Ares Inferno	Constellation Andromeda	26
-	Ares Ion	Constellation Andromeda	26
-	A2 Hercules	600i Touring	341
-	A2 Hercules	600i Explorer	299
-	A2 Hercules	Carrack	273
-	A2 Hercules	Constellation Aquila	472
-	A2 Hercules	Crucible	430
-	A2 Hercules	Endeavor	430
-	A2 Hercules	Hull D	325
-	A2 Hercules	Merchantman	115
-	A2 Hercules	Orion	194
-	A2 Hercules	Prowler	336
-	A2 Hercules	Reclaimer	378
-	A2 Hercules	Starfarer Gemini	451
-	C2 Hercules	Constellation Aquila	115
-	C2 Hercules	Valkyrie	47
-	C2 Hercules	Crucible	73
-	C2 Hercules	Endeavor	73
-	C2 Hercules	Glaive	73
-	C2 Hercules	Starfarer Gemini	84
-	M2 Hercules	Constellation Aquila	241
-	M2 Hercules	600i Touring	110
-	M2 Hercules	600i Explorer	68
-	M2 Hercules	C2 Hercules	147
-	M2 Hercules	Crucible	199
-	M2 Hercules	Endeavor	199
-	M2 Hercules	Genesis Starliner	147
-	M2 Hercules	Hull D	94
-	M2 Hercules	Prowler	105
-	M2 Hercules	Reclaimer	147
-	M2 Hercules	Starfarer Gemini	210
-	Mercury Star Runner	Prospector	120
-	Mercury Star Runner	San'tok.yai	52
-	Mercury Star Runner	Defender	52
-	Mercury Star Runner	F7C Hornet Wildfire	99
-	Mercury Star Runner	F7C-M Super Hornet	94
-	Mercury Star Runner	Freelancer MIS	99
-	Mercury Star Runner	Hurricane	78
-	Mercury Star Runner	Khartu-Al	105
-	Mercury Star Runner	Razor EX	120
-	Mercury Star Runner	Sabre Comet	89
-	Mercury Star Runner	Sabre	105
-	Mercury Star Runner	Terrapin	52
-	Mercury Star Runner	Vulcan	73
Drake Interplanetary	Buccaneer	Cutlass Black	21
-	Caterpillar	Constellation Andromeda	116
-	Caterpillar	Constellation Aquila	36
-	Caterpillar	Retaliator Bomber	78
-	Caterpillar	Redeemer	26
-	Corsair	Prospector	115
-	Corsair	Constellation Taurus	78
-	Corsair	Freelancer MAX	120
-	Corsair	Freelancer MIS	94
-	Corsair	Sabre	99
-	Corsair	Sabre Comet	84
-	Corsair	Gladiator	105
-	Corsair	F7C-M Super Hornet	89
-	Corsair	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	73
-	Corsair	F7C Hornet Wildfire	94
-	Corsair	Vulcan	68
-	Corsair	Hurricane	73
-	Corsair	Razor EX	115
-	Corsair	Khartu-Al	99
-	Cutlass Black BIS	Gladius	42
-	Cutlass Blue	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	47
-	Cutlass Blue	Razor	36
-	Cutlass Blue	Prospector	31
-	Cutlass Steel	Constellation Taurus	57
-	Cutlass Steel	Railen	21
-	Cutlass Steel	San'tok.yai	26
-	Cutlass Steel	Defender	26
-	Cutlass Steel	Terrapin	26
-	Cutlass Steel	Corsair	-5
-	Cutlass Steel	Vulcan	47
-	Cutlass Steel	Hurricane	52
-	Cutlass Steel	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	52
-	Dragonfly Black	Aurora LN	15
-	Dragonfly Black	MPUV Cargo	15
-	Herald	325A	26
-	Herald	Avenger Titan Renegade	21
-	Vulture	Freelancer DUR	45
Esperia	Blade	Constellation Andromeda	52
-	Glaive	Constellation Aquila	99
-	Glaive	Starfarer Gemini	63
-	Talon	Gladius	36
-	Talon	Reliant Mako (News Van)	31
-	Talon Shrike	Gladius	36
-	Talon Shrike	Reliant Mako (News Van)	31
-	Prowler	Constellation Aquila	162
-	Prowler	Reclaimer	68
-	Prowler	Genesis Starliner	68
-	Prowler	Endeavor	120
-	Prowler	Crucible	120
-	Prowler	600i Touring	42
MISC	Freelancer MIS	Prospector	32
-	Freelancer MIS	Freelancer MAX	37
-	Freelancer MIS	Gladiator	22
-	Freelancer MIS	Sabre	16
-	Freelancer MIS	Razor EX	32
-	Endeavor	Constellation Aquila	84
-	Endeavor	Starfarer Gemini	52
-	Hull A	300I	36
-	Hull A	Mustang Gamma	36
-	Hull B	325A	94
-	Hull C	Constellation Andromeda	136
-	Hull D	Constellation Aquila	178
-	Hull D	Starfarer Gemini	157
-	Razor	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	15
-	Razor LX	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	21
-	Razor LX	Razor	15
-	Razor EX	Freelancer MAX	15
-	Razor EX	SRV	15
-	Razor EX	Retaliator Base	15
-	Razor EX	Razor LX	15
-	Reliant Tana (Skirmisher)	325a	15
-	Reliant Sen (Researcher)	Arrow	21
-	Reliant Mako (News Van)	Gladius	15
-	Starfarer	Constellation Andromeda	76
-	Starfarer	Vanguard Warden	55
-	Starfarer	Vanguard Harbinger	24
-	Starfarer	Vanguard Sentinel	39
-	Starfarer	Vanguard Hoplite	81
-	Starfarer	Blade	39
-	Starfarer	Retaliator Bomber	39
-	Starfarer	Apollo Medivac	39
-	Starfarer Gemini	Constellation Aquila	63
-	Starfarer Gemini	Mole	47
Origin Jumpworks	350r	Freelancer	28
-	350r	F7C Hornet	28
-	M50	Gladius	22
-	85X	Aurora CL	15
-	100i	Dragonfly Black	18
-	100i	Dragonfly Yellowjacket	18
-	100i	MPUV Personnel	22
-	100i	Mustang Beta	22
-	100i	X1 Baseline	22
-	125a	100i	22
-	125a	85X	19
-	125a	Avenger Titan	14
-	125a	Ursa Rover	19
-	125a	X1 Force	19
-	135C	100i	27
-	135C	125a	15
-	135C	300i	19
-	135C	Cyclone	19
-	135C	Mustang Gamma	19
-	X1 Baseline	Mustang Alpha	21
-	X1 Baseline	Aurora LN	15
-	X1 Baseline	MPUV Cargo	15
-	X1 Velocity	Mustang Beta	15
-	X1 Velocity	MPUV Personnel	15
-	X1 Velocity	X1 Baseline	15
-	X1 Force	Aurora CL	15
-	X1 Force	X1 Velocity	15
-	X1 Force	Nox	15
-	600i Touring	Constellation Aquila	152
-	600i Touring	Constellation Phoenix	110
-	600i Touring	Reclaimer	57
-	600i Touring	Starfarer Gemini	120
-	600i Touring	Endeavor	110
-	600i Touring	Crucible	110
-	600i Touring	Eclipse	162
-	600i Touring	Genesis Starliner	57
-	600i Touring	C2 Hercules	57
-	600i Explorer	600i Touring	63
-	600i Explorer	Constellation Aquila	194
-	600i Explorer	Prowler	57
-	600i Explorer	Genesis Starliner	99
-	600i Explorer	Starfarer Gemini	162
-	600i Explorer	Endeavor	152
-	600i Explorer	Reclaimer	99
-	600i Explorer	Crucible	152
-	600i Explorer	Hull D	47
-	600i Explorer	C2 Hercules	99
RSI	Apollo Triage	Constellation Andromeda	23
-	Apollo Triage	San'tok.yai	44
-	Apollo Medivac	Constellation Andromeda	49
-	Apollo Medivac	Vanguard Warden	26
-	Apollo Medivac	Apollo Triage	36
-	Apollo Medivac	Vanguard Hoplite	52
-	Constellation Taurus	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	47
-	Constellation Taurus	Razor	42
-	Mantis	F7C-R Hornet Tracker	21
-	Mantis	Vulture	21
-	Mantis	Razor	15
-	Mantis	Ballista	21
-	Perseus	Mole	409
-	Perseus	Carrack	110
-	Perseus	Carrack W/C8X	89
-	Perseus	Carrack Expedition	84
-	Perseus	Carrack Expedition W/C8X	63
-	Perseus	Merchantman	57
-	Perseus	Orion	136
-	Perseus	600i Explorer	241
-	Perseus	M2 Hercules	194
-	Perseus	Hull D	267
-	Polaris	Constellation Aquila	535
-	Polaris	Perseus	183
-	Polaris	M2 Hercules	357
-	Polaris	Nautilus Solstice Edition	149
-	Polaris	Hammerhead	149
-	Polaris	Carrack	367
-	Polaris	Crucible	499
-	Polaris	Merchantman	210
-	Polaris	Orion	257
-	Orion	Constellation Aquila	246
-	Orion	Starfarer	246
-	Orion	600i Touring	194
-	Orion	Reclaimer	215
-	Orion	Genesis Starliner	215
-	Orion	Prowler	173
-	Orion	M2 Hercules	85

╔════════════════════════════════════════╗
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CCUs from more to less expensive ships

Target ship manufacturer	Target ship	Upgrade from	Price, $
Aegis Dynamics	Eclipse	Redeemer	64
-	Eclipse	Caterpillar	17
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Constellation Aquila	17
-	Vanguard Hoplite	Constellation Andromeda	30
-	Reclaimer	Hull D	94
-	Reclaimer	Merchantman	78
-	Vulcan	Defender	26
-	Vulcan	Terrapin	15
-	Sabre	Constellation Taurus	32
-	Sabre	Freelancer MIS	16
-	Sabre Comet	Constellation Taurus	52
-	Retaliator Bomber	Redeemer	36
-	Vanguard Harbinger	Redeemer	57
-	Vanguard Sentinel	Redeemer	42
-	Vanguard Warden	Redeemer	26
-	Vanguard Warden	Hull C	26
Anvil Aerospace	F7C-M Super Hornet	Constellation Taurus	47
-	F7C Hornet Wildfire	Constellation Taurus	37
-	Gladiator	Constellation Taurus	26
-	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	Defender	21
-	Hurricane	Defender	21
-	Gladiator	Constellation Taurus	26
-	Gladiator	Cutlass Blue	28
-	Valkyrie	Hull D	42
-	Valkyrie	Merchantman	47
-	Valkyrie	C2 Hercules	31
Aopoa (Xi'an)	Khartu-Al	Constellation Taurus	31
Consolidated outland	Mustang Delta	Hull A	15
Crusader Industries	Genesis Starliner	Hull D	73
-	Genesis Starliner	Merchantman	73
-	C2 Hercules	Hull D	31
-	C2 Hercules	Merchantman	42
-	M2 Hercules	Orion	52
Drake Interplanetary	Corsair	Defender	42
Esperia	Prowler	Merchantman	120
-	Prowler	Hull D	105
MISC	Freelancer MIS	Constellation Taurus	37
-	Freelancer MIS	Cutlass Blue	37
-	Razor	Freelancer MAX	15
-	Razor EX	Constellation Taurus	15
-	Razor EX	Cutlass Blue	15
-	Starfarer	Constellation Aquila	37
-	Starfarer	Caterpillar	18
Origin Jumpworks	350r	Cutlass Red	15
-	600i Touring	Hull D	110
-	600i Touring	Prowler	110
-	600i Explorer	Merchantman	152
-	600i Explorer	Carrack	99
RSI	Apollo Triage	Mercury Star Runner	42
-	Orion	Carrack	120

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
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For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
She then continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRa-Alergy posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th May 2024
Update - 10th May 2024
​
AITAH for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?
​
I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter. He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home.
So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes. I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive(a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK)
​
Comments
​
ERVetSurgeon
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
​
CruelxIntention
This. He’s allowing this instead of getting to the core of it and putting the child in therapy where she clearly belongs. She’s plenty old enough to know this can kill someone and to have complete disregard over that shouldn’t be overlooked. You may love this guy but I’m betting you love breathing more.
​
WonderingGemini84

"You may love this guy but I'm betting you love breathing more."

THIS!!!
You can not love someone when you're dead.
The boyfriend doesn't seem to realise how serious "the no peanuts"-thing is. This is a non-negotable. Your home should be your safe space, she doesn't respect that and he doesn't hear you (or doesn't care enough)
Throw them out OP!!!
​
weeperOfChimneys
NTA, she has all but said she's attempting to kill you with peanuts. Quoting a comedian doesn't make it funny or acceptable. He hasn't bothered to search her and divest her of the nuts when he picks her up either.

OOP: He offered this as a suggestion. Visitation before she entered my apartment but I don’t want this kind of life. I was fine only seeing him on his weeks off. But I understand that he wants something more permanent than meeting every other week so he probably should find another woman

​
YoghurtSnodgrass
She would probably just hide peanuts around his place for you to hopefully come in contact with. Just break up. His kid is trying to kill you.
Where is she even getting all these nuts from? Is her mom buying them for her? Does she buy them from a vending machine at school? How crazy is the little turd?
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 day later
​
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for really caring about a stranger with a dilemma. I was glad that I wasn’t wrong in my guts. I told my bf that I wanted to break up.
He was very sad and tried to reason with me. He suggested that we could live separately. His daughter will soon be an adult. I told him that being 18 doesn’t guarantee that she leaves the nest nor that he stops being a father either. Any time she could come across hardships and wants to move home and she needs to find that home. She couldn’t have it with me.
And about living separately, while it is fine now and some few years ahead. What about the future?
He was silent and listening to me. I felt overwhelmed because I love him. He said that the only way his daughter will be happy is when he is alone. She is in therapy but she has not shown any regards for her father or his life. She seems to not see him as an individual with feelings. He is just a father. I didn’t know what to tell him and just said that she probably needed time to grow up.
Until he moves out, his daughter is not allowed to be in my apartment. She called and threw a tantrum about her father choosing me instead. That she has the right to live with her father every other week and this shouldn’t change. I didn’t say anything, they need to fix this as a family, I am not a part of this family anymore.
He rented his apartment for a year’s contract so I don’t know how he will manage to find a new or terminate the lease so he could move back to his old apartment. Anyway he is staying here for a couple of months.
I am very sad that this beautiful relationship has come to an end. But I need to think about myself now.
​
Comments
​
he_nooch73
Know you made the right choice for you, your health, your safety. As someone said in your other post ‘you may love him, but you probably love breathing more’. I think you’re right about his daughter never accepting his partners. He needs to address this with her in therapy. I hope her therapist knows about the peanuts because her behaviour is truly disturbing. I’m so sorry your relationship had to end.
Commercial-Ask3416
I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. I feel like he is stuck between a rock and hard place regarding his daughter. I know people are saying he should discipline her or this and that, but it sounds like it wouldn't work and that she would likely escalate. I work with kids like her. Hoping her not being able to live with her dad the next few months will be a wake up call for her but in my experience I doubt it. Good luck to the both of you, especially him as he has to deal with the fallout. Not your monkey, not your circus anymore.
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hey y’all! Just got home from Welcome to Rockville 2024… what a crazy, wild, fun, and HOT weekend! I’m gonna just list out some tips for the festival for anyone that plans on going in the future and some tips for concerts/festivals in general!
everyone is different and this is based on my personal experiences at concerts and festivals. Some tips may be super obvious, but if you’re a first timer, it’s good to have a reminder! There is no guarantee all these tips will apply to you/be allowed at every/future festivals. Make sure to check festival/concert venue rules and regulations before you go

1. Keep an eye on the weather! The weather was hotter than I expected a couple days, and cooler other days. Make sure to pack some back up outfits and FL in May… expect anywhere from 70°-95°… with humidity the first day, it felt like over 100°. They also delayed doors one of the days because of possible thunderstorms. Download the WTR app to get alerts right away!
   
2. Lockers are lifesavers! Who wants to carry extra weight all day?! I splurged on a 4 day locker and am so happy I did. Great meet up spot when you’re with friends and get separated, can throw a towel and extra clothes and sunscreen in it and grab what you need when you need it. Wanna go in a pit or crowd surf? Toss everything in your locker. Don’t want to be bringing things in and out of the festival? Leave it in the locker overnight!
   
3. To avoid heat exhaustion and passing out, stay hydrated!! I did not drink any alcohol until sunset each day and drank lots of water during peak heat of the day. They ended up allowing hydro packs because it was so hot. I would bring one along just in case they say you can bring them in. I do not condone drugs but if you insist on taking them, be aware that Rockville had a police dog at gates and please be safe and don’t test your limits at a festival
   
4. More on bags and hydro packs… www.lunchboxpacks.com has clear bags with hydro packs. If they don’t allow the hydro pack, you can remove it. These bags have anti-theft zippers and pockets, and with all the reports of lost phones and other items being literally stolen out of pockets and bags, this bag really helped keep everything secure. For me, this bag passed through security with no issue. Side note, DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK if they haven’t announced letting hydro packs in, you can hid the bag and tube in your clothes, it’s all plastic and won’t set off an alarm.
   
5. List of helpful items to bring:
   

• Sunscreen (for my makeup lovers, I used a 50 SPF CC cream on my face so I could have some coverage and not get burnt or have a greasy face)
• Sanitizer
• Lip balm with SPF
• Wet wipes
• Tissues (literally will be breathing in dirt/sand and will get congested… blow occasionally)
• Sunglasses
• Bandaids (I had so many blisters from wearing Docs lol)
• Ear plugs
• Power bank/charging cables (lunchbox packs has a great power bank)
• Towel/light blanket (use to sit on the ground if you don’t wanna stand in the crowd or seating in tents is full)
• Extra shirt/bottoms (best to keep in locker. Some stages had a dude with a firehose spraying the crowd and I got drenched. Also one night it got cold and I was able to put a tee on over my bikini and I almost had a bodysuit malfunction another day so having shorts to put on helped)

1. Dress “code”: wear whatever you want (ladies, nips have to be covered!). I saw people covered head to toe, in comfy clothes, costumes, and people wearing pasties and thongs. Anything goes! They are strict on spikes… do NOT wear anything with spikes. They allowed small chain necklaces, but no thick chains… however, day 1, walking to the entrance of the security line I had thick chain necklaces on and the security guard at the entrance told me to hide them in my bag… I got them through that way and then put them on. It seems like once you get through security, they don’t care unless some issue arises from something you’re wearing/brought in.
   
2. Crowd safety! Careful in the pits! Remember the number one rule… if someone falls… PICK THEM UP. We are a family so let’s help each other stay safe. If you see someone acting up, tell security. If someone is stealing, tell security. If someone is about to/is passing out, get a medic. If you are near a pit and not in it, keep an eye on it so you don’t get knocked over. If someone comes at you, don’t freak out and shy away, just push them back in. If the pit is behind you, my best defense (I am a pretty small female so be careful with this one if you’re bigger) has been shoving my elbows back behind me to keep people from knocking me forward. Make sure you look back occasionally/pay attention to people around you because there will be an insane amount of crowd surfing… someone even went up in a wheelchair during Slipknot and ADTR told people to crowd surf on top of a crowd surfer… it got crazy and dangerous so STAY ALERT
   
3. Finding your way around… you will have slim to no reception. Keep an eye on landmarks… stages, sound booths, entrances, rides, lights, tents, food trucks, etc. this will help you navigate and set up meeting spots for when you’re with friends. Keep screenshots of the set times and circle what bands you are going to. Set your lock screen to a screenshot of a note with info if your phone is lost or stolen (number of friend/family to call if someone picks up your phone or police catch a thief, your name, etc.) and change home screen to a map of festival.
   
4. Food and drinks: look at all the food options before you pay… some booths give you a kiddie portion for $20+ and some give you more than a full size meal for $15. Try to eat proteins AND carbs since you will be walking a LOT. Protein is going to help with your muscles, while something with carbs will fill you up more so you don’t have to eat as much/often! The drinks are also pricey. The Heavy Tiki booth was definitely the best deal, frozen cocktails in a huge cup with a shot of dark rum on top… $22! Small mixed drinks were about $18.
   

Well if I think of anything else, I’ll add it to the comments or edit post! Rock on y’all!

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I didn't realize how lucky I was to grow up in an urban and old walkable suburban community until me and my husband sold our first home and purchased a big MCmansion in an HOA community.
I went into a depression dealing with a crazy HOA (for instance the president decided one day she wanted ALL 5200 homes in our HOA to paint our homes the colors she liked or we would all get fined!!?) CRAZY B#+ch🤬. Using Google maps and drones to fly over our yards to find violations.
I lived in one of the better suburbs compared to what I read online, but the moment you leave the gated community it's an 8 lane stroad and parking lot target and winn Dixie big a$$ parking lot. There were parks that was empty 99.9 % of the time.
I didn't understand how I could be in this "nice" home in this "good" neighborhood and feel so sad. So I move there because I was pregnant and wanted to live somewhat closer to family. My baby not even 2 was already turning into an iPad kid and antisocial because literally nothing to F#$king do and no one to see but me. You can only play with the same toys but so much. So we would go to the park NOBODY WAS EVER THERE maybe one f$&king kid if we were lucky. My husband had to battle 1 1/2 of traffic morning and night. He was gone from 6-7am until 9 pm some nights. My baby would be sleep before he got home didn't see him for days.
My husband ended up crashing my car and I was TRAPPED for months. No car I the suburbs is a basically house arrest. I was going insane!!!!
I convinced my husband that renting out our home and moving closer to downtown in a 1 bd condo in an AMAZING walkable neighborhood was better.
BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!!!!!!!
I WALK to the library for FREE toddler events daily. My baby is socializing. He's so cute and deserved a be existence. Wanna go to the park???? NO PROBLEM!!! It's basically across the street. It's huge it's basically a town square. The neighborhood buildings are old and beautiful. The only thing that could rival it is like Norway or something. I have mom friends I see on a regular of ALL ethnicities and backgrounds. Mom's from France, Chicago, Ukraine..... I want a slice of pizza walk a few minutes BOOM a pizza!!! Want a fresh fruit smoothie BOOM 5 min walk... Wanna take a trolley and just sightsee!!? It's freeeee!!!! To the beach 15 min walk... Movie theater... Shopping.... 10min-30min walk 🥰
I'm in urban heaven!!!
I had no idea how HOAs could be are monsters. So I was like maybe we can potentially change our zoning and I realized my HOA didn't even want your cousin living with you, no way they would let a cafe start up in our garage.
I packed my 2 year old, myself and my husband, rented our home to someone who needed 5 bedrooms and I'm out.
99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% wrong with the U.S. is a domino effect of car dependent single family zoning.
The isolated gas guzzling lifestyle is fueling corporate giants because small businesses can't afford rents. The isolation make you paranoid causing people to vote out of fear rather than logic. The environmental damage and fueling war due to oil consumption
CAR DEPENDENT SINGLE FAMILY ZONING should be illegal!!!!!!!

I think this is a topic we should continuously bring up and discuss because I believe creating a base or home is such an important part of Fallout. After a long day of fighting off the monsters and horrors of Appalachia, we sometimes just want to come home to our homey base and admire our creation and hard work. The more I build, the more I feel restricted on what I can do and have to really plan and sacrifice some creative designs to meet with the building limitations. With the evermore additions to things we can add to our base, base building really needs to be refined. I'll add what we had last post and what suggestions were made as well. I'll also add more of what I've noticed from my return to the game. Previous post for reference.

Disclaimer of Understanding

Listen, I understand there could be hardware limitations in regarding to number of items or models that can be loading and unloaded at any time for the servers though we need to find some middle ground. A way to optimize the base limits to allow for more creativity. I also understand there could be programming limitations though refactoring some the base building limits is a positive change and worth while, especially to continue improving on this game long term (if that's what is planned to be).

Quick bullet points of Ideas from previous post

• Wallpaper to be painted on BOTH sides of the wall.
• For the love of god, increase base building limits, since we cant have two camps at the same time. I'm trying to decorate haha. Ideally id love a camp to build my vendor store and a home but hey..im good with either.
• why hard limit displays? I'm a collector, let me show off my collectables :( .. increase or remove display limits.
• Vendor should have a recently sold list. Like 5 items. Sometimes I miss the notifications :(
• allow me to mass select items and scrap. Unless I'm missing something I cant seem to find this feature anywhere.
• posters and wallpaper seem to have troubles meshing. Hopefully this could be fixed. I find posters hide behind wallpaper. Also..
• why does changing wallpaper remove everything off of wall. Sad times. Hopefully this could be changed.
• No-Atmosphere-4145 commented: I'd love for a feature where adding stairs won't cause the entire construction to become unremovable.
• Belickade commented: And how about an undo feature for the times you accidentally scrap a camp object.
• Similar to No-Atmospher-4145's post but I'll add it.. JakLynx commented: I’d love it if adding stairs to a vault wall door with vault door didn’t break the door and literally prevent you from entering.

Base Building Limits Extended

Lets talk about some Quality of Life updates that would help our base building experience. I'll dive deeper into some of the points that need some extra points to it.

For the love of god, increase base building limits, since we cant have two camps at the same time..

A further increase to maximum storage is not what we're talking about ( while this is something that can be improved upon), we want to be able to build more around our base, the total base building limit is what needs to be increased. Wires should not be apart of the base building costs in my opinion, this would help alleviate some room in the limit. I'm also hoping that wallpaper and things inside the displays don't count towards it but I have not personally checked.
To add more to the strain of base limits, is it possible to put things on shelves? I feel like they're so bare, id like to have them display items like display cases do.. that would be an amazing change!
Speaking of display cases..

why hard limit displays? I'm a collector, let me show off my collectables :( .. increase or remove display limits.

Lets increase these AND do not have the items count towards base storage. It sucks so much to see my STASH storage so high and be like "oh, its all the stuff on display" .. AND in the vendor. Putting items in your vendor or on display should remove them from your STASH. This would help the currently implemented STASH limit and it would also be such an improvement to the build system.
I also believe the limits on display shouldn't be towards the category but towards the item. Wall Displays should be separate than the floor glass display or any floor display to be honest. Even if you didn't increase the total limit for building displays and just separated how many you can make of each (mind you don't decrease the amount to 5 each..), this would improve our base building quality of life.
To further talk about displays, sometimes I can't place wall mounted displays because that wall doesn't have support below, though I was still able to build the wall. If the wall exists, the wall mounted display should be able to go on it.

And how about an undo feature for the times you accidentally scrap a camp object.

This is self explanatory though this is me emphasizing that this is huge. Big feature needed. Just a general undo last change is such a big help.

STASH Quality of Life Updates

These points were mentioned before but I'm going to mention them again. I understand that Fallout 1st is a good way for you to make some money on the stash limits, so upgrading the already set 1200 storage limit is unlikely BUT there are things that count towards stash that should not be. Such as:

• Vendor Items. These should not count towards our stash limit, its in the vendor..
• Displays. The item or weapon is being displayed outside my stash, therefore should not count towards my stash. This should be the case for all displays including bobblehead displays, Nuka-cola displays and so forth. This would alleviate so much space for some people and allow there to be more room without needing to increase the hard limit on STASH space.

That's pretty much it on that front.

New Ideas

Scrapping.
Scrapping my building item (generator, wall, lights) and losing most of its materials is a little frustrating. If I built it, I should get my materials back though I understand that is what storing items is and that you want to continue to have a game loop for gathering materials. So, its not a huge thing if this isn't changed in some way. Maybe I'm upset because I scrapped a generator to build it after I change the floor and didn't have enough materials anymore to re-build the generator. lol.
Fast Travel Spawn Point
This is a really cool request. Give us the ability to choose where players spawn when they fast travel to my base? Have one custom spawn point that must be put on a foundation or floor. Reason I say this is because my base is on a cliff and sometimes people or even myself don't spawn in my base but on the side of the cliff and then I have to fast travel again. It'd be nice to just have them spawn in a location that is preset so that no one falls or gets stuck.
I can see players setting up traps and what not with this, though I think the benefit outweighs the negative. There are many free fast travel locations if you get stuck and you only drop junk on death so? Maybe I don't know of other negatives from dying but I feel like most people want to show off their homes and not setup prisons lmao.
Shelves as displays
I talked about this earlier though shelves feel empty and I feel like my kitchen shelving would look nice if I can store some ingredients on them. Make it look more full and lively. Otherwise idk what to do with them lmao. Doesn't need to be crazy, just like fill the front side of the shelving unit and have 3 or 4 items to be displayed on the shelf. Also if this is implemented, items on shelves should not go towards STASH limits.
Renaming Power Chassis
I get confused on which power chassis hold what or displays what. Its like 7 power chassis in my stash. It'd be nice to name them lol.
Mark as To Be Scrapped
It'd be nice to mark items as "To Be Scrapped" so you know what you want to scrap, or even sell. That way you don't scrap something by mistake.
Guest Book
I remember reading somewhere an idea of having a guest sign book so that people that visit could sign saying like "I was here' or maybe "yolo 420" lol but it could also be emotes, stickers, pre-generated phrasing that people could sign with like a date saying when they signed it. Would be cool. Even something that could be done on the personal terminal?.

Conclusion

Look, I get it, some of these features are big asks but overall the quality of life improvements to STASH limits by removing the items displayed and in the vendor would be such a good change and one that wouldn't require too much refactoring of the CAMP code base (I hope). A lot of what was mentioned is nice to have but some are like really important to the ecosystem of building your base. Display limit segregation, removing wires as counting towards base limit, fast travel spawn point, undo button are just some to name that would bring big changes to the base building feature in this game.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. Until next time!

okay so i made a post when i first started QoS, and here’s my take for after. it’s always the last 100 or so pages man, it’s all i can think about. go grab some popcorn, here we go. i love rowen and aelin, i don’t care about the age gap and i know he was a douche canoe in the beginning but IMO aelin needed to be humbled. she needed someone to push her and to tell her no. i love rowan and that’s that. Manon, you miss girl.. thank you for finally getting off your high wyvern witch shiz and understanding it’s okay have feelings, my gosh. that took long enough. i still really want her to back Terrasen when it comes down to the big bang though. i hope the realizes what Perrington, i mean Erawan, is AKA a bag of crazy nuts. Im so proud of Aelin for how far she’s come and her acceptance in becoming Queen. the growth man🥺 i love her story and what she stands for. i do want to know how arobyn found her though. did he off her family? did he send assassins to off her family? idk but i am sure as heck glad he’s offed. he deserved he, he was always a POS but that ring stunt?!?! oh goodness. Lysandra, girl you did that!!! i wanted to hate you because of the beginning of the series but i don’t, not even a bit. you have grown so much and you really played the part well when needed. thank you for your hard work. i really want to see you happy and fall in love. maybe Aedion?!?! i can kinda see it… Aedion to me is just there so far, he’s a huge part of aelins journey in building terrasen but nonetheless just there… he does get points though for being willing to sacrifice himself for rowen. Poor Chaol though, that guy was done dirty. He too was a douche canoe however, i did want to see him happy. and he is with Nesryn (love her) but that man can never catch a break. hopefully the SC can help with the back issues. My guy Dorian, long time no see. Glad to see you’re back, maybe not better than ever, but at least you’re not a wimp anymore. and thank goodness you weren’t a goner because that collar almost had ya, woof…. please seek help about the nightmares and keep working on controlling that power. you give me golden retriever vibes with a hint of spice and i’ve always loved that about you. i think i have ptsd though from other books because in the back of my head i question if the demon dude is gone. i sure as crap hope. lastly THE KING BRO WTH. DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING. i thought he was Earwan but was i wrong. i still have trouble if i believe him or not about wanting to have done the right thing all these years but not having control. it makes sense, but also id definitely make up some stuff if i was on my death bed. but he did wish to be unalived so there’s that too. i hope we learn more about that situation because so many unanswered questions. also i want to learn more about Elide. she popped up out of nowhere where and we don’t have enough about her. so far she’s a badass and i hope she finds celaena aka aelin and rallies with her. plus someone fix the girls leg please.
thanks for reading! :) onto the tandem!

I'm doing NC for more than a month now. And it's helping me a lot to actively move on from my ex-bf. Hearing people's insights and advices helps a lot in dealing with the pain of detaching from the person you have grown to love unconditionally.
The beauty of NC is that you get to step back from the relationship, and look at the bigger picture. You see everything in clarity and able to pin point the areas your relationship was lacking as well as the underlying issues of the cause of break up. Next, you get to reflect on yourself whether these issues are fixable. Is it something you and your ex can and willing to work on? If yes, then you can try again. If not, then move on and hopefully love again.
The important thing is that you must stick with NC. Respect the break up. Respect the ending. For you to be able to start anew, you gotta healthily end the past. Regardless if you and your ex are going to try again in the future, the fact remains - the relationship has already ended. Make peace with it. You can no longer change the past. You gotta heal and let go of the past.
If you're going to try again with your ex, make sure you leave the past behind. If there's anything you're gonna take from your prior relationship to your new ones, those would only be the lessons you've learned from it and not the ill feelings or negativities or the mistakes you guys made. For if you are still bringing those old mistakes, what's the point of trying again? Nothing will change. Same mistakes, same ways, same results. Fully heal before trying again and starting something new - may it be with the same person or a new one. Appreciate the beauty of NC. Take this opportunity to know and understand your self better. Love and respect yourself. It's hard at first, but all will be well. I'm keeping my faith. You can do it too! 😊💪🏻

First, I'll start off by saying that this is probably a me problem, and that I'm pretty sure I just need to learn how to not get anxiety from this, but I still want feedback to see what other people think.
I've been seeing this girl for a short time now. We're aren't exclusive, just going through the dates to see where it leads. In person and via FaceTime, our chemistry is off-the-charts, and we have both confessed in person that emotions are strong. We have another date planned for two weeks from now (we cant do sooner because of I'll be out of town for work for a bit).
The issue I have is that I'll have one day where she'll txt things like "You’ve been on my mind a lot☺️", or how our next date we have planned to make pizza together for our dinner date, and she says "Thinking about you and I making pizza together now, it’s got me cheesin☺️". There are other examples, and it gives me very strong confidence that she's really into me.
The anxiety starts to kick in though when we are vibing and in the middle of a back and forth thing, and the conversation just stops... she just doesn't reply. Or I'll send her a picture of something cool, and I'll get nothing in return.
For example, this past Friday night I sent her a text immediately after she sent me one (during a somewhat back-and-forth convo), and it was something along the lines of "can you see the northern lights where you are?" I waited about 36 hours for a reply on Sunday (a day and a half later) and it was.... "Hey baby😋". Didn't even respond the question at all. I then asked what she's been up to and she said she's been spending time with her mom for the weekend (because it was mother's day) and proceeded to tell me what they've been up to.
Her communication style is just.... odd compared to what I've seen from other women I've dated. It's not how I would ever communicate via txt at all. She skips questions, or doesn't respond to a picture of something, etc. It feels like she ignores it completely? Or is aloof in some weird way?
Now to be fair, I have brought up the topic of communication already as I was previously kinda worried about how things would go silent for long periods prior to this one, so, trying to be a communicating guy, I said about a week ago:
"I wanted to ask you… how much communication would you like between us while we’re apart? Are you ok with txting and FT’s, and how often? I wanted to check in and see what you’re comfortable with."
and her response was:
"I’m happy with our level of communication:) to be upfront it may get a teeny bit less frequent just because I keep a pretty full schedule. Especially during the summer months. And I’m also not on my phone very much. Tbh most of my phone time recently has been chatting with you, and that’s not a bad thing! I love our conversations and connection. Just wanted to be transparent so you don’t think I’m ghosting or anything haha My social battery isn’t the best so if I ever do need a day or two with no contact, whether that’s because I’m busy or just recharging, I will 100% communicate that😘"
I don't know.... am I overreacting here? Do any other men/women here txt like this? O just hate txting? Or just are never on your phone? She's 25, and I figured all young women in their 20's would be glued to their phone.
Maybe I'm just being stupid insecure and need to let it go.
Thoughts?

This is a very long one. Trigger warning ⚠️
I (19f) have been in and out of long term/short term facilities since I was 12 years old. I’ve had suicide attempts and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. This is definitely not my first experience with a therapist. Over the years I’ve had over 6+. Not because they haven’t worked for me all the time, but because they either move onto another facility or I move onto another phase in life.
Last year I adopted a new therapist “Mere” thanks to my older sister “North”. My current Therapist “Tina” who I’ve been working with for the past 3 and a half years, switched to a facility where my insurance only covers 30 min sessions. North didn’t think that was enough for me at the time since I wasn’t doing so well mentally. The therapist she recommended worked closely with her own and offered 1hr long sessions, so I agreed wanting to try something new since my old therapist seemed to not specialize in trauma and ptsd. Kerr was highly recommended for those topics.
We started our sessions not soon after my sister offered. The first couple months were hard. Our personalities seemed to clash. Not because mine was bad, but because I was deeply depressed. I was not a joy to be around and everyone seemed annoyed with my constant melancholy. Even my therapists seemed sick of me.
Over time I learned to adapt my personality to be more palatable. My therapists loved it now that I was interacting with them and making jokes. I treated them more like friends now instead of therapists and they seemed to appreciate that. I found it funny because a lot of my issues I explained to them was faking my personality to fit into the crowd and adapt. Due to me being f a people pleaser. They didn’t see anything wrong with the change since I seemed to be getting better mentally.
I was better. I wouldn’t attribute much of my success to my therapists tho. It was nice to have someone to talk to since at the time I had no friends, but they didn’t seem to know how to handle my constant depression so I started to hide it from them. Even from myself. Over time I was able to function a lot better. I switched my sessions to only once every two weeks and I was planning on ending them all together since I was doing so well on my own and haven’t need much help in a while.
It seems that I ah e bad luck. Right when I was at my peak recovery and condition, I was raped on the first day of the new year. I spiraled back into my deep deep deep depression worse than any other relapse I had before. I survived on Benadryl and ice cream for weeks. I took the pills so I didn’t have to be awake to long. I ate only food that I liked the most (mainly unhealthily) my health declined.
My mental health was the worst of it tho. The day after the rape occurred I had a session with my newer therapist. I start telling her the details of my assault. The shock was still fresh in my brain and my memories were scrambled. I greatly blamed myself. I thought I was the weirdo.
Mere only confirmed my sentiments. Before I could fully list out the details of the night it happened she immediately started to spew accusations of my intentions that night. Saying phrases like “Well when someone is pleasuring you it’s hard to say no and there’s nothing wrong with that”
I shut up then and just agreed with her but something still didn’t sit right with me. I went on Reddit and there was mixed opinions about it. A lot of ppl validated my feelings and others thought It was my fault. After fully processing this event and fully remembering it in its entirety I can say confidently that what happened to me was rape.
The next session we had I was able to tell the full story. Mede had just said “Oh. Well you didn’t mention all this before. That’s definitely not ok”. The thing is tho, she was the one to cut me off and make assumptions instead of trying to pull out the full story. She knew I had extreme ptsd and I probably wouldn’t be able to give an in-depth detailed explanation of what happened. She still insulted me anyway and brushed me off.
I thought this to be weird but I brushed it off. When you think k you’re in the presence of a professional you don’t often question things especially if you aren’t in the mental space to do so. So ignored her.
There have been times where she’s been short with me. One time she had asked to switch a 12pm session to 5pm. When I refused she said she’d have to charge me a cancellation fee. It seemed that she just wanted to get paid for that session still and wanted to guilt me into paying. I refused and explained that she was the one who cancelled on me and she immediately backed down realizing I wouldn’t be easily pushed around. I didn’t think much of it then.
Another time. I had gone to this tattoo parlor to get my belly button pierced. I took videos and pictures of the process. She requested in our session that week to see the pictures. I agreed to send and emailed them to her in two emails. In one there was all the pictures of the parlor, the. The other had the videos of the full process. Accidentally I had added one singular picture of me. I was at school and I took a picture in the schools bathroom. There was nothing indecent about it I just accidentally pressed on that picture as I was sending the others. IT happened a lot when using your iPhone to email and I didn’t really notice.
She brought it up the next session and started to berate me for sending that singular pic out of all the obvious other intended pictures. She said it’s inappropriate to send her pictures of myself. I explained to her the accident and she seemed shocked. All she said was “oh well ok”. I don’t know why she got so triggered I’ve always kept good boundaries with her. I can’t believe she immediately started accusing me for one picture of me posing in the mirror while having a turtle neck in a jacket and everything.
Those are just a few of the shady things she’s done. Now back to current time. After I was raped. I still continued sessions with her and tried to get back on track. She wasn’t really helping. I would have extreme panic attacks on therapy video calls with her and she seemed at loss of what to do. I distanced myself from her and I started to get a little better, but then I started to have issues with some of my friends. That added onto my load of issues and started to push me to the edge.
I called my therapist the night of my attempt. I try not to call her after hours but I was in genuine crisis. I had spent the whole day being practically verbally abused by one of my friends. I was cracking slowly it surely and I reached out for help.
Otp I expressed to her how I felt betrayed by everyone around me. I asked her why everyone felt it was ok to treat me wrong whenever. Why wasn’t I able to find peace? Why I couldn’t find ppl who cared? My parents are emotionally abusive as well. That all stems into my ppl pleasing habits. I’ve let a lot of ppl take advantage of my nature because I’ve been conditioned to since birth. She knows my history and why I am the way I am. Instead of consoling me she yelled at me. “Well you knew they were bad ppl!” “If you knew they were bad ppl why are you blaming them you just need to stop hanging around bad ppl”. She then told me she had to go and hung up. She did ask me if I was safe but of course I lied. She knows I always try to see the best in ppl. I don’t see the bad till it’s too late most times. Her words stung like acid. I had been prescribed some sedatives to calm me during panic attacks. I had taken two but they weren’t helping. After that call I took the whole bottle. I didn’t want to die alone so I called my mother to stay in my room with me. Then I drifted into a deep sleep for hours into the next day’s afternoon. I had fallen asleep around 10 pm. I woke up the next day around 3pm still kicking but disordered.
I spent two weeks in a mental hospital. During that time I do t have access to my phone. I had my sister contact everyone that needed to be. Even Mere. She knew I was in there. I didn’t call her while I was there bc I was still upset at her after everything.
I was discharged but I didn’t set up a session for weeks. She emailed and called me once but I didn’t respond till I was fully settled back into my routine and okay enough to talk to her. I emailed her this
“Hallo, Sorry. I didn’t mean to ghost you. I just needed some time to get myself together. I called you just now. You are probably busy. I hope everything is doing well on your end. Sorry again. Sent from my iPhone”
I had planned to set up an appointment in the future to talk to her about everything but by the time I checked my patient portal a week or so later I had been discharged with no warning. No calm text or email.
I set up a meeting with her over the phone for 45 mins. When she first came onto the call the first thing she said was “I saw that you put our appointment for 45 mins. I changed it to 30 bc you know I did discharge you”. I thought it was pretty rude so instead of explaining everything I told her about how I didn’t have my phone in the hospital and the hospital themselves didn’t notify her because they were disorganized and were extremely unprofessional. It’s not like she wasn’t updated by my sisters anyway. When I got my phone after I got home I saw texts from her asking if I was still having a session with her. Knowing that I was in the hospital. It seemed she either didn’t care or didn’t believe I was in the hospital. In fact when she had spoken over the phone with one of my sisters she had lied to them about that night. She had told her “After I got otp with her I immediately started praying for her because I m ew something was deeply wrong” how delusional of her to say after she yelled at me and hung up.
Anyway after I explained my reasoning for going MIA she started to realize how fucked up she was and asked me how I was doing. I didn’t say much because I was done with her and she obviously didn’t intend of hearing the full story since she shortened our session. She started asking me why I didn’t want to continue therapy and seemed confused why I didn’t seem to beg her to re admit me. I told her I was done with therapy. She seemed concerned and said that she discharged me because she thought it’d be better for me to find an in person therapist. I knew it was a shitty excuse. I quickly hang up on her and don’t address anything.
I’m only processing this now because I’ve had much bigger things going on. I’m only now realizing how fucked up her behavior was. If I hadn’t spoken to her the night of my attempt I probably wouldn’t have tried to kill myself. I feel cheated out of help. I don’t feel angry at her I have to reserve that for someone more worthy of my rage. I only wished she didn’t use the fact that I would never call her out on her behavior usually. She knew my temperament and took advantage of that. I don’t think I’ll ever trust a therapist again. She victim blamed me, mocked me, berated me in my time of need, and then abandoned me on baseless assumptions that could’ve been easily cleared up if she actually listened to what my sisters and I were saying. She didn’t even say sorry when we were talking. Or express any remorse besides embarrassment for jumping to conclusions. SMH.
TLDR: My therapist berated me for trusting ppl in my life the night of my suicide attempt. Then Discharged me from her care without consulting me first. Blamed me for all her mistakes and jumped to conclusions randomly then never apologized for the baseless accusations. I am at a loss for words and at a loss for trust in therapy again.

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ta-bff-234324. He posted in AITAH and amiwrong but posted the same text in both subreddits. I chose to use the ones from AITAH
Thanks again to u/Literally_Taken for the rec and to Choice Evidence and u/chickenoodledeprived for letting me know about the update!
Previous BORU here. New update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: racism
Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy ending
Original Post: April 1, 2024
My (29M) best friend Jess (29F) keeps on mentioning my ex (29F) in front of my fiancee, and I am thinking of cutting her off. I want to know if I am overreacting, or if Jess is in the wrong.
For context, Jess and I went to the same high school and the same college. We were friends in high school. However, since we both went to the same out-of-state college, we became best friends since then. We have always been there for each other during the best and worst times. However, things have always been platonic, and she is more like a big sister to me, who made sure I stay on the right track.
I have only been in two long-term relationships so far. One was with my ex Lisa for 7 years. We met in college and dated all through our college years. Lisa and Jess also became good friends, too. After college, Lisa and I just grew apart and had different goals in life. I became "boring" after college as I was working on my PhD while doing a full time job. Lisa broke up with me as she wanted to party on weekends, while I was home studying. I was heartbroken, but I don't think I ever blamed her or had resentment towards her, as I understood my decisions were selfish and should not hold her back from having the best life.
Jess always stood by me and comforted me during that time. Jess and Lisa were good friends and Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready. I foolishly held on to that hope and stayed friends with Lisa. That was until I met my fiancee Yang. After I finished my PhD, I got a nice job in a big tech company. Yang joined our team a year after me. We started going out for drinks, and dinner and we started dating seriously pretty soon. We are happy together, and financially in a great place. Needless to say, I stopped talking to Lisa after I started dating Yang.
I proposed to Yang a year after we started dating and got engaged last year. Jess has been acting weirdly since we got engaged. One of the first things she said to Yang after we got engaged was how I had planned the same thing for Lisa (proposing on a local hiking trail). It was a bit off-putting that she was bringing up Lisa whom I broke up with almost 5 years ago on such a happy occasion. However, Yang asked me to not spoil my mood, as she felt Jess was just commenting on how I had that plan in mind for years. Since then, every time we meet, Jess without fail brings up Lisa and how the things I am doing are all the things I had planned with Lisa. This happened when we bought a house, planned for vacations, etc. Jess always starts with some nostalgic story and then brings up how Lisa and I were so happy together. She is still good friends with Lisa and keeps giving me updates about Lisa and how great Lisa is doing at work when no one is asking for it. It felt like she was painting a rosy picture of Lisa to Yang and telling Yang that she would always be second to Lisa.
Yang told me Jess's comments bothered her, and I also felt the same. I have brought this up with Jess many times and asked her not to do it. However, she says she will try but since I dated Lisa for 7 years, she would be part of many stories from the past. Also, she asked me why talking about Lisa bothers me and if I still have feelings for her. I have reduced hanging out with Jess. However, she is close with my mom and is always invited to all our family parties and holidays.
I talked to my mom and sister about this and they feel I am overreacting. They feel Jess is just telling stories and since the stories are mostly from college days and later, Lisa will be a character in the story. They also feel I should not be bothered by Jess mentioning Lisa since we broke up a long time ago. I feel that it's disrespectful to Yang as she doesn't need to hear about all the fun Lisa and I had when we were together and how we were planning to get married. Do you think I am the asshole to stop here or Jess is truly acting out of line?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Probably need to separate your time with your fiancé away from your friend. ... On a side note, your friend comes across poorly on one other aspect. When you were too busy to date so you could study. She is encouraging you to stay available while your ex goes about dating around? Think she ever encouraged your ex to not? Or do you think she was telling your ex she could have all the fun she wanted cause you'd still be around? Food for thought.

OOP: She thought we were 24 when we broke up and she always justified that Lisa was young and it's natural to date around before you settle down. She also encouraged me to do the same. However, after my breakup, I decided that I would not be in a relationship (based on what happened to the previous one) and never dated anyone until after I graduated.

Commenter: Not wrong, in fact it's thoughtful of your finace's feelings. " Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready." - yikes.
An easy: "Jess, you keep bringing up my ex, and keep making comments which are dismissive of my relationship with Yang. I am telling you point blank that this is harming our friendship and it saddens me that you dismiss my feelings as being unimportant on this topic. If you can't respect me, and my relationship with Yang, please understand why it will likely end our friendship."

OOP: We have had this exact conversation. Jess then proceeded to ask Yang is she offended by her telling stories about me. Yang was polite and said she is ok. Then she told me I am being too sensitive.

Commenter: Op do you know if Lisa is married? Maybe Jess is trying to sabotage your engagement so you can be with Lisa.

OOP: I know Lisa is single. She has not been in any serious long term relationship after me. Infant, Jess always makes it a point to bring that up regularly and update me, even after I tell her I have no interest. My mom loves gossip and they also discuss a out Lisa regularly.

Jess is just being a mean girl/have you talked to Lisa at all?
At this point, I suspect Jess is just being mean to Yang. I would have cut her off long ago if she was not so close to me or my family for so many years.
Lisa is out of the picture, to be honest. I have completely gone no contact with her for the last 2 years.
Jess has feelings for you:
That's not true. I did not write it since I thought it was irrelevant, but Jess is happily married and has a 3 year old kid.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: April 23, 2024 (22 days later)
I wrote a post a month ago regarding my friend Jess mentioning my ex constantly in front of my fiancée. Thanks to everyone who commented, and how inappropriate it was. However, the last month has been nothing but crazy and I still trying to make sense of what happened so far.
After my post, I decided to talk to Jess and gave her an ultimatum not to speak about my ex Lisa again. I know Jess and Lisa are still friends, but I was uncomfortable of her comparing my fiancée Yang with Lisa all the time. I broke up with Lisa 5 years ago, and she is nothing but a faint memory in my past. Jess kept on defending herself and telling me that I was with Lisa for most of my adult life and it's hard to tell any stories from the past without including her. She also blamed me for being emotionally childish and just forgetting about Lisa when she was with me for 7 years. Finally, Jess agreed that she will not bring up Lisa in front of Yang, and I should also not treat Lisa as she does not exist since she is still Jess's friend. I informed Yang about our conversation. Although she was appreciative about it, she said I did not need to do it and she knows how much I love her and every time Jess brings up my Lisa, she feels sorry for Lisa that she let a guy like me go.
Yang went to visit China two weeks ago for a month as we plan to get married in her hometown. She is taking care of her shopping as well as preparations for the wedding. Jess invited me to her house that Friday for dinner as I was home alone. I am also good friends with her husband, and we were all just chatting and drinking in the living room. Around 7.30pm, the doorbell rang, and Jess excitedly went to open the door. To my surprise, it was fucking Lisa at the door. She was all dressed up as if she were ready for a date and came in. I had not seen her in person for almost 3 years and I was shocked to see her. She sat down and started making small talk with me. I was extremely uncomfortable and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess. I was angry at her and asked her what was going on. She kept on telling me that it's been 5 years since the breakup and to get over it and be nice to Lisa. She said Lisa was excited to meet me and she thought we were all adults and could have one fun evening together. We had a fight and I told her that she should not have invited Lisa after our conversation the other day and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. I went into the living room and politely excused myself and told everyone that I had a work emergency and had to leave early. Lisa looked sad, but I genuinely felt uncomfortable to be made to hang out with my ex without my consent.
I came home and called Yang. I have never seen her more furious, and she told me she is not comfortable with Jess anymore as she has some agenda that we do not know about. It's different to talk about Lisa, but to invite her without consulting is not ok. I also felt the same and I called Jess the next day and told her that she crossed a line, and I was terribly upset with her. I stopped taking her calls and ghosted her. I also told my mom and sister about the whole incident.
Last Sunday, my mom called me for lunch. When I got there, I saw Jess was already there. I told my mom that I do not want to talk to Jess and can't stay. However, she asked me to sit as they all wanted to talk to me. I have a glutton for punishment and decided to hear them out. My mom started with how Jess has been there for me all these years and only has my best interest at heart. She kept on telling me that they are the three people (mom, sister, and Jess) that love me the most. Jess started saying how she felt that I was making a big mistake in not having to hear what Lisa had to say. She told me that Lisa was my first love and Lisa is now ready to settle down and we can pick where we left off. She reminded me how broken I was when Lisa left me and how life is giving me a second chance. My sister also chimed in and said how they all liked Lisa more than Yang and how we both looked so great together. Finally, my mom started saying how our culture was so different than Yang and it is hard for them to relate to her. I asked them in what way, and my mom said that they did not understand what Yang says sometimes and have nothing in common with her. Then my mom asked me to think about how Lisa and I would have such wonderful looking kids, while if I marry Yang, our kids will look so different. I started getting their drift and I probed more. My mom told me how our kids would look Asian with "small eyes" and not like any others in the family.
I asked my mom if she cared about my kids looks more and not about how smart they will be since Yang has a PhD. She blew it off, and I realized she just did not want me to marry Yang because she was Chinese and not white. My mom told me to forgive Jess and my mom asked Jess to talk to Lisa on my behalf and asked her if she would be interested in getting back together with me. My mom was adamant that since I loved Lisa so much, I should be happy and pick up things where we left off as that is the best for everyone. I have never been so angry and may have said a lot of unkind things to all of them before I left
I am so depressed right now. I not only lost my best friend, but also am not sure how I can move on from what my mom said. My mom and sister raised me and that is the reason where I am today. However, I cannot get over how racist they are being and how they were just pretending to like Yang all these years while actively working on breaking us up. I have been so shocked that I have not told any of this to Yang so far. I might wait for her to come back next week and talk to her in person.
Again, thanks everyone for all your messages on the last post as they helped me a lot to think through the situation. My life is more fucked up than I could imagine, and I cannot imagine how dejected Yang will feel after hearing all this.
*****New Update Post: May 7, 2024 (5 weeks after OG post)****\*
I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.
As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.
I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.
The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.
She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.
She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.
Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.
When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.
My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.
Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.

Hi I am a (18f) and my ex best friend (14f) have been friends for six to five years and me and her met on the bus since her mom is a bus driver but imma call her Ella she and I have been off and on for years but I wanna know if I am the butthole for choosing to not be friends with her and cut off contact with her because of how she was treating our friends and me and some of the things she has done while being friends with me. So this all started back when me and our first were starting to hang out so that was back in 2022. We’re at our house we were talking having fun just chilling around. She had to leave to do something for her family while I was in the room talking to one of her friends, let’s call him Billy me and him didn’t like each other at all but we made sure to be nice to each other when Ella is around but we were constantly bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was being friends with Billy bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was friends with Billy but those two have been off and on for years friends to lovers time stuff and I was just a third wheel so I was basically just third wheeling them, but while she was dating him, she would have other guys added onto snap like talking to them and entertaining them like what your dating someone while talking to other guys was wild to me I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna meddle in their relationship and plus I didn’t really know him at the time barely but me and him have started getting really close and those few months and I decided to tell him that I hope you know your girl has been talking to some other dudes and that’s when he decided to not date her anymore so those two broke up Ella and Billy are friends still and we decided to add another member to our group which would be? laya And me and her don’t know each other about at that time we were getting to know each other and we actually became really good friends Ella thought it would be the best thing ever to be in a poly relationship with Billy and laya and here’s where things take a turn for the worst for five months those three were dating while I was over at our three were dating while I was over at her house SHE WAS TALKING TO OTHER MEN WHILE BEING IN A relationship but that’s not all she had other apps to also talk to hot other men and showing me what she was doing she had me snap them and everything was just a hell no for me and when it got to those three breaking up me and her decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Josh and when it got to those three breaking up me and her just decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Billy and I were talking and we were talking about her behavior and what was going on because he kept saying she kept doing this shit over and over and I was like why would you still be together with her if you knew or since I’ve told you that she was cheating on the three of you and this was back in may or june so it was fresh out of the water type shit and me, Billy, laya decided to drop Ella and start a new friendship circle to say away Ella but we also added a new member her name is Zara and she also had bad encounters with Ella and as we were being friends having fun just being chill , me and Billy started dating we were dating for two months so that was June and July but here comes the funny part. All of us decided to stop being friends and also dating each other because I was busy with school, and they were also busy with school so we just left and not have been friends when it came to me and laya she started to be friends again back in august and we were playing Fortnite we were playing anything talking having fun texting and she asked if I could adopt her. I said yes because why not. And then I found out that Laya and Billy dated broke up and then found out again Zara and Billy are dating by Ella we slowly decided to be friends again to keep the peace and have no more drama but here comes the craziest plot twist. This will happen in 2023 till like 2022 now here comes 2024 rolling in February or always hung out with each other having fun so we were just chilling. Me and Billy were liking each other our whole entire friend group dated him. I didn’t. I only dated him once maybe twice that was it learned my lesson from that but slowly, it was just a type of feelings, but it slowly fades away. That’s what it was happening to me and my daughter laya got grounded from her real parents and told me and our friends that she was grounded for a week so her boyfriend let’s call him Iggy that whole entire week. He was crying. He was missing her. Let me just say on Valentine’s Day. He said he was single and that he didn’t have a girlfriend because she got grounded and couldn’t talk to him so me and my other friend we were like on FT with him, and we were trying to get a spirits up by playing with other filters on there apparently he didn’t like the Valentines ones. I kept telling us to change it. It was whatever we did anyway, and it was messed up then right after that it was a Friday I decided to text. Laya and I was telling her that your boyfriend was saying he was single and then also the same day Zara was dating Ella and let me tell you the whole entire week. Ella was talking to laya’s bf iggy while Ella was in a whole ass relationship with one of my friends Zara so when I told both of them that Ella and Iggy were talking nonstop, calling FaceTime in texting each other on Snapchat and on phone numbers and then come to find out that those two were dating while being a whole ass relationship with two other people the other two people are laya and Zara so those too were broken, they were crying. I was trying to cheer them up when it got to but like, why would you do that to your significant other so that was my question I kept questioning why I was still friends with her, but at the same time I was just trying to keep the peace between our families. She tried to call the police on me or at least threaten me, saying if I didn’t return her switch, she called the cops on me even though she left my house at a sleepover thing. She got fucking bonkers like Billy and Ellis are no longer friends like they were hitting each other, but they were trying to get along, but it didn’t work out because I decided to be a whole ass bitch to him and not be friends and it was wild because I didn’t know so me and Billy started dating again in April and I guess Ella didn’t like how much I was talking about but she can talk about relationships though so it was random or decided to contact with each other because she was very toxic she wasn’t mature enough to handle relationship because all she ever did was cheat on every significant other she had and what was crazy is she had a app called wizz on there talking to guys WHO ARE OLDER THEN HER and now she’s dating a guy who is retarded as hell if I’m being honest like he’s a type of person that you don’t want anyone hanging around with because he kept lying about his age and then there was like a whole lot of shit with him and I just didn’t like him but like shit put me through has made me question my life choices, man like cheating on others with someone then also had the audacity to threaten my mom multiple occasions texting her late at night while she’s trying to sleep then going bad shit crazy when I called off the friendship multiple times damn well thinking you were going to change your fucking self because what you were doing was not healthy. It was toxic as hell then call me a toxic bitch who deserves no fucking life or some shit like that idk but like it’s crazy how I had to spend my high school years, trying to help her with her mental health and try to help her out anyway I can but in return I just get no help back like it was like one side of friendship I guess but the reason why I was friends with the 14 year year-old even though I’m 18 because I’m the only older kid living on our stree and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and most of her friends don’t talk to her and yeah everything in the span of 2021 to 2024 with was wild and not drama free.