Hot 50 Spotify Playlist // #1s Spotify Playlist // Every Song to Ever Chart (Credit to FLLH for this amazing playlist!)

Popheads Weekly Hot 50: Week of May 13, 2024

For this chart issue, we tracked everyone's top 10s from Thursday May 2, 12:00 PM GMT to the next Thursday May 9, 11:59 AM GMT.

#	Artist - Song	Prev. Position	Peak	Weeks	Points	# of Listeners and #1
1	Sabrina Carpenter - Espresso	#1 (=)	#1	4 wks	6457.5	105 of 641 listeners had the song as their #1.
2	Dua Lipa - End Of an Era	NEW	#2	1 wk	4537.5	43 of 514 listeners had the song as their #1.
3	Dua Lipa - These Walls	NEW	#3	1 wk	4352.5	32 of 514 listeners had the song as their #1.
4	Dua Lipa - Illusion	#12 (+8)	#4	3 wks	4013.5	24 of 490 listeners had the song as their #1.
5	Dua Lipa - Whatcha Doing	NEW	#5	1 wk	3451.5	22 of 435 listeners had the song as their #1.
6	Dua Lipa - Falling Forever	NEW	#6	1 wk	3435.0	25 of 433 listeners had the song as their #1.
7	Dua Lipa - Houdini	RE-ENTRY	#1	24 wks	3319.0	14 of 445 listeners had the song as their #1.
8	Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe!	#2 (-6)	#1	5 wks	3160.5	37 of 338 listeners had the song as their #1.
9	Dua Lipa - French Exit	NEW	#9	1 wk	2952.0	9 of 397 listeners had the song as their #1.
10	Dua Lipa - Training Season	RE-ENTRY	#1	9 wks	2874.0	10 of 395 listeners had the song as their #1.

The Popheads Chart Video from u/rickikardashian: https://youtu.be/hWxQcMn5VJU

If you want to see the points and number of listeners for each song in the top 50 chart, click here

• Highest Debut: #2. Dua Lipa - End of An Era
• Highest Re-Entry: #7. Dua Lipa - Houdini
• Biggest Gain: #4. Dua Lipa - Illusion / #16. Kendrick Lamar - Euphoria (+8)
• Biggest Decrease: #38. Taylor Swift - Fresh Out The Slammer (-22)

Popheads Top 5 Bubbling Under Chart May 13th, 2024

Artist	Song	Genre
WILLOW	symptom of life	Alt Pop
Drake	Family Matters	oh drake… you never learn
Bambie Thug	Doomsday Blue	Eurovision
Shaboozey	A Bar Song (Tipsy)	How tf has this not been on the charts yet?
Justice & Tame Impala	Neverender	Electronic

Personal Chart of the Week

One of the joys some people have on the chart is seeing their own impact on the chart. Whether its seeing your #1 song at #1, or seeing it bubbling under, people like seeing songs they like being adored by other users. In this section, one lucky chart participant will see their own chart and the impact it had on the full chart this week. NOTE: In the case of charts exceeding 15 songs, I will trim down the lowest tie to fit the chart by using the songs that charted the highest (or are funniest). This week, we have the chart of hekna02!

Rank	Song	Their Points	Actual Rank	Total Points
1	Dua Lipa - Illusion	15.0	#4	4013.5
2	Dua Lipa - Whatcha Doing	14.0	#5	3451.5
3	Dua Lipa - Falling Forever	12.5	#6	3435.0
3	Dua Lipa - Training Season	12.5	#10	2874.0
5	Dua Lipa - End Of an Era	9.5	#2	4537.5
5	Dua Lipa - Houdini	9.5	#7	3319.0
5	Dua Lipa - Maria	9.5	#12	2341.0
5	Dua Lipa - These Walls	9.5	#3	4352.5
9	Dua Lipa - French Exit	7.0	#9	2952.0
10	Dua Lipa - Happy for You	6.0	#13	2236.5

If you’d like to have your top 10 shown in a future installment, PLEASE USE THIS GOOGLE FORM! Also, if you sign up for this PLEASE also sign up for the actual charts, with the form found below.
Here's the current list of people signed up for the charts!

If you'd like to sign up for the charts, you can sign up here!

The tracking dates for the next weekly chart is May 2, 11:00 PM GMT - May 9, 10:59 AM GMT and results will come out the next Monday, May 13.

How The Chart Works:

These charts are created based on how frequently each song appears in the top 10 songs/albums for all of the users signed up for the chart. If the song or album occupies that user's #1 spot in their individual chart, it receives 15 points, then 14 points for #2, so on and so forth until 6 points for #10. If there is a tie, which is a common occurrence, then the number of points is averaged across those positions, e.g. if two songs are tied for #1, both will receive 14.5 points. Oftentimes there will be multiple songs tied for the last place, in which case the number of points each song receives decreases until it bottoms out at 1 point each.

Credits

• Reddit Post Author / Chart Runner: ImADudeDuh
• Spotify Playlist Cover Art Designer / Wiki Editor: kyrgyzzephyr
• Crownnote Author : Tedyonce
• Video Editor: rickikardashian

Chart Wiki
Last Week’s Chart
Link to an archive of all charts [Credit to u/bright_baby_blue for the website!]

https://voca.ro/13E7gPgqciEi
I don't think I have super high expectations when it comes to dating but there are certain traits and people that I'm attracted to. To be very straightforward, I'm a woman of color (South Asian) and prefer dating other people of color (any). Growing up as a brown immigrant in certain parts of NY was definitely eye-opening. Apparently, I look racially ambigious since people have hurled slurs for every race towards me lmao It's just been a lot easier for me to connect with other POC with the things I have been through. I think it's also important for me to connect with someone who has similar values. On a political spectrum, I am a leftist and would much prefer my partner to share similar ideologies. In regards to my personality, I have been often described as someone who is full of life/bubbly/optimistic. I love laughing a lot but I love to make others laugh more. It's definitely difficult for me to give up on people so expect me to stick around for a while.
I like someone who is playful and has a good sense of humor. There's a lot of shitty things going on at the moment, so being with someone who can make me smile and laugh often would be a blessing. Rest assure that I'm not looking for a distraction or a therapist, but I hope we could be each other's best friend. I don't mind flirting here and there, but I prefer a love that blossoms slowly over time. But out of everything I have wrote, the most important thing and the characteristic I value/seek the most is someone with high emotional intelligence. Empathy and healthy communication goes a long way.
Im not the most knowledgeable so I love meeting people with different life experiences, different skills, and different interests/hobbies whom I can learn from. Surface level conversations and friendships can be nice for a few days or so, but I cherish those who are not afraid to be vulnerable and to be their authentic self. I'm a pretty open book myself. I think my biggest strength, despite being called foolish for it, is my ability to open up to others. Sure, I had people use it against me before but I really like this part of me. I think it helps me form a sincere connection with the people around me whether it's friends, coworkers, or clients. What you see is what you get, the good and the bad.
In regards to my interests, I am very passionate about social and mental health issues. I am in a MSW program and my dream is to work as a hospice social worker. I like to read a lot of books around those topics but I am a fan of fiction too specifically magical realism from authors like Isabel Allende and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I also like to game but I am a console player and right now I am just sticking with OverWatch, Final Fantasy series, and occasionally bullying Real Madrid fans on FIFA. I also have a thing for tattoos and graffiti. Feel free to send me a chat request if any of this catches your interest.

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

I’m in search for a graphic novel I read when I was in 6th grade… mind you, I’m 20 now and look I don’t remember much but I can tell you it was girly pop asf. There was a very bubbly like pink(?) haired girl and she would fight these cat ninja’s and she would go to school. I wish I remembered all of the details and I wish I could draw it all out (as an artist it’s very frustrating) I can see it in my head as I speak of it but I cannot put it together enough to google it. The colour palette of the book was so beautiful. I’d do anything to read it again for the first time.

I see a lot of parallels to factions and lore being made about the current state of 40k, but I wanted to share my own take on how I see it as a purely Xenos fan, predominately Eldar. Appropriately, it’s a long winded one.
As a faction of elves, Eldar have always had smut thrown their way. That’s inevitable really, for the most part I don’t care. But as the community became more and more pornsick, we were consistently among the first to get hit with whatever vile crap they’d put out to the world. The most egregious case being one particular new character of whom we all know of, getting reduced by fans into nothing more than an accessory sex object. Most of us weren’t happy about it, but we were told to suck it up or were simply ignored. Barring perhaps the Tau and SoB fanbase, nobody took the time to instead see our factions as the canary in the coal mine, or imagine it could ever happen to them one day.
But now the years have passed and we’ve been joined by many, including Admech, Tsons and now hilariously, Custodes and Primarch fans. All of whom are now feeling and experiencing the very same ugly debasement of their characters and factions that we went through for years, seeing how unpleasant it is firsthand.
But that’s not even my main point.
A cornerstone of Eldar lore is about surviving the loss of one’s empire and the self destructive risks to a society otherwise too strong to fail. Despite the extremity (most declines into decadence, fictional or not don’t feature murder cults and evil gods being born) it was still a very grim and realistic manner for an advanced, unassailable empire to collapse.
Those Eldar who saw the direction their race was taking, future Craftworlders, Exodites and Harlequins alike, were belittled, attacked and seen as fools. Hedonism wasn’t just rising though, it was aggressively expanding, spurred on as established pleasure cults gained ever increasing power and influence across society, while deliberately targeting those institutions that resisted it. The Harlequins, who’s entire purpose in society was the preservation of myth, had become a fighting force before the Fall had even happened: their desperate warnings and efforts to maintain their old values were met with fierce and violent efforts to silence them. Yet all those who made the decision to leave ultimately saved their souls and despite immense struggle and sacrifice, endured the following millennia and adapted to survive.
But like so many other aspects of 40k, this was simplified, misinterpreted and ridiculed by parts of the fanbase for years. An exaggeration of a very real threat even to existing late-stage societies was reduced to “hurr durr murderfucking” or used as a smug, prepackaged takedown whenever the topic of the Eldar came up in a lore dispute.
“If you so smart, then why Slaanesh? Checkmate knife-ear” ad-nauseam…
It was seen as a lame and absurd way to fail, compared to the far cooler and forgivable collapses of other empires like the Necrontyr or DAoT humanity. To be deceived by evil star gods during a galactic war or ravaged by AI, hostile aliens and warp storms deserved far more sympathy and respect. To lose to nothing other than your own people’s decadence after millions of years of prosperity and peace? That was a ridiculous and laughable idea. Even those canonical efforts made by any Eldar to resist it were simply dismissed by some as “not fighting hard enough”.
But now we’re seeing firsthand that same online community rapidly declining, with increasingly disgusting behaviour bubbling to the surface. Just as the pleasure cults aggressively established themselves in fiction at the cost of 99% of their race, we see organised efforts to push subversive material even further in our own spaces in reality. It’s equal parts sad, hilarious, vindicating and deeply ironic.
Now their popular introductory channels like Majorkill and trend-riding hacks like Bricky peddle genuine smut to their young fans from behind a paywall. Meanwhile their humour subreddit has devolved into a softcore fetish page, with popular content simply being sex references with a Warhammer paint job and where musclegirls and femboy torture-porn are referenced as funny in-jokes. Smut artists are lauded in comment sections, where simply sharing an interest in the same faction can have you branded with their association. And skeletons are coming out of closets, with meme channel Barry Walts outed as an abusive groomer, alongside the fan-favourite musician Stringstorm months prior.
And all the while those calling it out are rejected, thus instead making their way into their own spaces on the fringes of the online fanbase.
Do I believe the community is a goner? Fuck no, I genuinely believe this will pass in time. Hell, in 40k even some Eldar do. Their worldview is a cyclical one after all. And despite GW’s efforts to kill the Ynnari there still remain plot hooks and prophecies to be used beyond them.
But as it turns out, recent events have shown that having something great, then seeing it fall to decadence and madness is not only hard to avoid, but often among the the most likely of outcomes when your community finally reaches its peak.
But who could’ve foreseen that coming?
TL;DR: Eldar were always one of the first factions to get the worst debasement by smut artists, now many other fans are feeling how much it sucks. The Fall of the Eldar was a cautionary tale that became ridiculed by the fanbase, only for them to devolve into a bunch of degenerates themselves.

Preface

Shadebinder’s playstyle is very different from every other Warlock subclass. Warlock’s greatest strength in the Crucible is their mobility; Solar has Icarus Dash and Snapskating, Arc has slide melee and Getaway Artist’s on-demand Amplified, Void has Blink, and Strand has a grappling hook. Stasis has ZERO reliable mobility for Warlock; you’re going to be spending most of your time on foot. Shadebinder doesn’t need any mobility options to dominate, because they are the kings of counterplay.

Frostpulse

Casting your rift releases a burst of Stasis that freezes on contact. The pulse has a wide radius, and stretches shockingly high up. It sounds very situational on paper, but this is a situation that you can easily replicate. Harass people at range, and get them to start chasing you. Once they’re on your tail, slide behinda corner and time your Frostpulse for right when they’re about to come around it. I can’t count the number of Titans I’ve caught shotgun in hand. Your rift also maintains your forward momentum, so you can be more aggressive with this as well. If an enemy is camping a corner, slide up with Frostpulse for an instant freeze. If a Titan drops a bubble, time your slide so that you just barely enter the bubble as your rift goes off, freezing everyone inside. Frostpulse is also fantastic for shutting down close-range ego abilities like Ensnaring Slam, grapple punches, shoulder charge and Thundercrash. For these abilities, you can typically gauge when to cast your rift based on the sound. They all have a sound cue right before impact, which is your signal to drop your frostpulse. Watching a Threadrunner freeze mid-punch and slide off the map never gets old.

Iceflare Bolts

Shattering a Frozen enemy spawns Coldsnap tendrils that seek another target. I don’t think this needs an explanation; it can turn one well-timed Freeze into a huge killchain. You’ll feel like a Titan from the number of enemies that you beat to death. Note that you need to actually shatter an enemy to spawn the tendrils, which can be difficult outside of Melee range. Most Primary weapons cannot shatter a Guardian before they thaw, but there are exceptions like Fighting Lion. A high-range Fusion can grab some long-range shatters as you work to close the distance, and grenade launchers are always effective. Snipers and slug shotguns are also effective, but you need a headshot to shatter.

Bleak Watcher

You can turn your grenade into a Stasis turret that shoots nearby enemies. The turret isn’t very strong; its rate of fire is low and it dies in only a few shots. However, each projectile Slows on impact, forcing your opponents to prioritize it. Throw the turret behind them, then light them up when they turn around.
EDIT: Note that your turret is treated as a combatant; your opponents can kill it to proc perks like Kill Clip and Rampage. Don’t spam them unless you’re capable of securing some kills.

Coldsnap Grenades

Shadebinder’s bread and butter. These grenades create Stasis tendrils on impact that freeze, and can chain to several enemies. One grenade can freeze an entire team, with a shatter killing the whole group. However, Coldsnap grenades are finicky. They struggle on rough terrain, and a well-timed Hunter dodge, Icarus Dash and Thruster can dodge it. Against opponents like this, it’s best to aim high. When Coldsnap grenades strike a wall, they bounce off and slowly fall to the ground. Coldsnaps also have two sound cues; when you throw it, and when it detonates. Coldsnaps don’t make any noise when they bounce off a wall. When you ricochet your grenade, enemies will hear you throw it, but won’t hear the impact and assume that you missed. Then when they push, the grenade lands directly on top of them. But from experience, most of my Coldsnap kills come from just chucking one around a corner as someone tries to push up. They’re very effective in close quarters combat, and even if you’re too far away to secure a kill, you can use the disruption to push up safely.

Penumbral Blast

Your melee shoots a Stasis projectile that flies straight and explodes on impact, or after a short distance. Do not make the mistake of limiting this to a panic button. If you use it at close range, you’ll typically die before your enemy is fully frozen. Treat it like a grenade launcher, specifically Mountaintop. It is very consistent for securing kills, and can easily shut down ego pushes. Airborne enemies are very easy to track with this, although their momentum can carry them too far away for an easy shatter. The projectile also explodes at the edge of its range, so you can use this for an airbust.
EDIT: I should’ve mentioned this before, but Shadebinder has ONE mobility tech. Penumbral Blast is coded like Incinerator Snap, and can be used to skate. It’s not as effective due to the absence of Icarus Dash, but you can cross some serious distance if you time it right. Sometimes I “ShadeSkate” into a Penumbral blast when I rush enemies, freezing them as I come in for a melee shatter. It’s significantly more effective with Transversive steps, but there’s two steep downsides to building into ShadeSkating. One, you’re sacrificing Osmiomancy’s double Coldsnaps, increased Coldsnap range, and grenade energy refund on Coldsnap freezes in order to use Transversives. Two, you need to keep Penumbral Blast fully charged to skate. Needing to hold your Penumbral to skate really hurts ShadeSkating’s reliability, because Penumbral is an extremely effective melee that you’ll typically use at every opportunity. The Shadeskate playstyle is all or nothing with little flexibility, you need to fully commit to the skating. Personally, I just skate with my Osmiomancy build to push up at the beginning of a round.

Winter’s Wrath

Arguably the most dangerous Super in Destiny, it’s capable of securing kills from across the map and even through walls. When people hear you cast Winter’s Wrath, they run as fast as they can. That’s actually a problem because you’re awfully slow; a poorly timed Super can leave you isolated. There’s a select number of situations where Winter’s Wrath is decisively effective: * During a flank * While pushing a control point * Against an enemy Super * While defending a control point
These are all situations where the enemy team cannot easily escape. However, an experienced player can still dodge your projectiles by simply playing cover. When a projectile locks on, it will adjust its course to take the shortest path to its target. It doesn’t care if a wall is in the way, that’s your problem. To effectively freeze your opponents, you need to go wide. If you can tell that your opponent is going to rush to a wall on their right, then shoot to their left. The projectile will still lock onto them, but it’ll now travel along a wider arc that can get behind the cover

The extended roster:
Wildmutt Role: DPS Play Style: Agile and ferocious melee attacker with heightened senses. Notable Moves: Savage Pounce: Leaps at an enemy, dealing damage and stunning them. Sensory Track: Detects hidden enemies within a certain radius. Razor Claws: Swift melee attacks that cause bleeding damage over time. Super Attack: Feral Frenzy - Enters a heightened state, increasing attack speed and damage for a short duration.
Grey Matter Role: Support Play Style: Strategic support with abilities to hack and control the battlefield. Notable Moves: Nano Heal: Deploys nanobots that heal allies over time. Tech Override: Temporarily hacks enemy gadgets, turning them against their owners. Intellect Boost: Enhances an ally’s abilities, reducing cooldowns and increasing effectiveness. Super Attack: Mastermind Machination - Creates a field that boosts allies’ intelligence, allowing for faster ability usage and strategic advantages.
Ripjaws Role: Tank Play Style: Amphibious brawler with strong underwater capabilities. Notable Moves: Aqua Slam: Jumps and crashes down, creating a shockwave in water. Bite Lock: Grabs an enemy with his jaws, immobilizing them briefly. Whirlpool: Creates a vortex in water, pulling enemies towards the center. Super Attack: Tsunami Strike - Summons a massive wave, knocking back and damaging all enemies in its path.
Cannonbolt Role: Tank Play Style: Rolling juggernaut with high-impact collision attacks. Notable Moves: Rollout: Turns into a ball and rolls over enemies, dealing damage. Impact Crater: Slams into the ground, creating an area of effect damage. Rebound Rampage: Bounces off surfaces, increasing speed and damage with each hit. Super Attack: Meteor Ball - Launches into the air and crashes down as a giant ball, causing massive area damage.
Wildvine Role: Support Play Style: Nature-based support with crowd control and area denial. Notable Moves: Thorn Barrage: Shoots thorns that damage and slow enemies. Vine Grasp: Extends vines to pull enemies or allies to safety. Seed Bomb: Plants a seed that grows into a trap, ensnaring enemies. Super Attack: Jungle Jamboree - Summons a forest of vines that entangle and damage enemies while healing allies.
Spitter Role: DPS Play Style: Ranged attacker with debilitating slime attacks. Notable Moves: Slime Shot: Spits slime that slows and damages enemies. Goo Grenade: Hurls a blob that explodes, covering a wide area with sticky goo. Mucus Bubble: Encases himself in a bubble, gaining temporary invulnerability. Super Attack: Acid Rain - Spews a cloud of corrosive rain over enemies, causing severe damage over time.
Buzzshock Role: DPS Play Style: Electric skirmisher with high mobility and shocking attacks. Notable Moves: Volt Dash: Dashes through enemies, electrocuting them. Chain Lightning: Strikes an enemy with lightning that jumps to nearby targets. Static Trap: Leaves an electrified trap that stuns the first enemy that touches it. Super Attack: Power Surge - Overloads the area with electricity, continuously damaging all enemies nearby.
Blitzwolfer Role: DPS Play Style: Lycanthropic fighter with howling attacks and enhanced agility. Notable Moves: Sonic Howl: Unleashes a howl that damages and disorients enemies. Lunar Leap: Jumps great distances, pouncing on enemies from afar. Claw Rend: Swift claw strikes that can bleed enemies over time. Super Attack: Moon Frenzy - Gains increased speed and attack power under a simulated full moon.
Upchuck Role: Support Play Style: Consumptive support that can absorb and redirect energy. Notable Moves: Energy Ingest: Absorbs energy attacks, converting them into health or ammo. Gastro Blast: Fires a concentrated beam of absorbed energy. Matter Munch: Devours objects to create barriers or restore health. Super Attack: Digestive Overload - Releases a massive energy explosion around him, using stored power.
Ditto Role: Support Play Style: Multiplicative support with cloning abilities to confuse and outnumber enemies. Notable Moves: Clone Swarm: Creates duplicates that attack and distract enemies. Mirror Maneuver: All clones mimic Ditto’s actions, dealing damage in unison. Replicate Retreat: Sacrifices a clone to teleport to its location, evading danger. Super Attack: Multiplicity Mayhem - Floods the battlefield with clones, overwhelming enemies with sheer numbers.
Waybig Role: Tank Play Style: Colossal tank with massive strength and area control. Notable Moves: Giant Stomp: Causes a shockwave that knocks back enemies. Cosmic Beam: Fires a powerful beam from his eyes, dealing heavy damage. Towering Defense: Uses his size to shield allies and block paths. Super Attack: Galactic Slam - Lifts a huge chunk of the ground and throws it, crushing enemies beneath.
Arctiguana Role: DPS Play Style: Frosty sharpshooter with chilling ranged attacks. Notable Moves: Ice Beam: Shoots a beam that can freeze enemies in place. Frostbite Grenade: Throws a grenade that explodes into a freezing mist. Blizzard Breath: Exhales a cold wind that slows and damages enemies. Super Attack: Avalanche Ambush - Summons a wave of ice and snow that buries enemies, dealing massive damage.
Chromastone Role: DPS Play Style: Ranged combatant with energy absorption and redirection. Notable Moves: Prism Blast: Fires a beam that can split into multiple rays upon hitting surfaces. Energy Shield: Absorbs incoming energy attacks to charge his next Prism Blast. Radiant Rush: Charges forward enveloped in a protective energy aura. Super Attack: Spectrum Surge - Unleashes a full-spectrum energy wave in all directions, dealing massive damage.
Alien X Role: Support Play Style: Omnipotent support with reality-altering powers. Notable Moves: Cosmic Restore: Heals all allies within a certain radius. Event Rewrite: Reverses the last few seconds of gameplay for all players, except Alien X. Existential Shift: Temporarily increases the abilities of all allies. Super Attack: Universal Rift - Creates a zone where all enemy actions are delayed by several seconds.
Nanomech Role: DPS Play Style: Tiny, evasive striker with the ability to infiltrate and sabotage. Notable Moves: Micro Missiles: Launches a barrage of tiny homing missiles. Infiltrate: Shrinks down to enter and disable enemy equipment temporarily. Nano Swarm: Releases a cloud of nanobots that damage and disorient enemies. Super Attack: Molecular Disassembly - Causes enemy gear to malfunction and fall apart for a short time.
Fasttrack Role: DPS Play Style: Speedster with rapid strikes and quick evasions. Notable Moves: Speed Slash: Dashes through enemies, dealing damage to all in his path. Blur Dodge: Evades attacks with superhuman speed, leaving afterimages. Momentum Punch: Delivers a punch that gains power the longer he runs before striking. Super Attack: Velocity Vortex - Creates a tornado by running in circles, pulling in and damaging enemies.
Eatle Role: Tank Play Style: Durable brawler that consumes materials to boost his powers. Notable Moves: Bite Crush: Devours objects to gain temporary health and armor. Shrapnel Spit: Spits out digested material as high-velocity projectiles. Ravage Rampage: Gains increased size and strength after consuming large objects. Super Attack: Digestive Explosion - Erupts with energy after consuming a significant amount of material, damaging nearby enemies.
Gravattack Role: Tank Play Style: Gravity manipulator with area control and enemy displacement. Notable Moves: Gravity Well: Creates a field that pulls enemies towards the center. Orbit Slam: Levitates enemies before slamming them back to the ground. Mass Increase: Temporarily becomes immovable and reduces damage taken. Super Attack: Black Hole Barrage - Summons miniature black holes that travel across the battlefield, devouring anything in their path.
Crashhopper Role: DPS Play Style: Agile assaulter with powerful leaps and crushing landings. Notable Moves: Leap Smash: Jumps high and crashes down, damaging enemies where he lands. Hopper Blitz: Rapidly hops towards enemies, kicking them with powerful legs. Bound Escape: Uses his legs to leap out of harm’s way, avoiding damage. Super Attack: Seismic Stomp - Unleashes a series of ground-shaking hops that create shockwaves, knocking back enemies.
Walkatrout Role: Support Play Style: Evasive support with distraction and escape tactics. Notable Moves: Slippery Dodge: Evades attacks with unexpected movements. Bait and Switch: Creates a decoy to distract enemies while he escapes. Helping Hand: Quickly aids allies, providing them with speed boosts or temporary shields. Super Attack: Fish Out of Water - Flops around wildly, confusing enemies and making them miss their attacks.
Molestache Role: Support Play Style: Quirky fighter with mustache-based abilities for control and defense. Notable Moves: Whisker Whip: Lashes out with his mustache, striking multiple enemies. Stache Shield: Uses his mustache to form a protective barrier. Hairnet Trap: Entangles enemies in a strong, hair-like net. Super Attack: Mustache Maelstrom - Spins rapidly, extending his mustache to create a tornado that pulls in and damages enemies.
The Worst Role: Tank Play Style: Indestructible tank that can absorb a tremendous amount of damage. Notable Moves: Unbreakable Stance: Temporarily reduces all incoming damage to minimal levels. Aggravate: Taunts enemies, forcing them to attack him over his allies. Endure: Regenerates health based on the damage taken in the last few seconds. Super Attack: Ultimate Sacrifice - Draws all enemy fire to himself for a short duration, becoming invulnerable and then releasing a retaliatory shockwave.
Kickin Hawk Role: DPS Play Style: Martial artist with rapid strikes and acrobatic maneuvers. Notable Moves: Talon Tear: Delivers a flurry of slashes with his talon-like feet. Wing Rush: Uses his wings for a burst of speed, enabling quick strikes. Feather Frenzy: Spins with outstretched wings, hitting all nearby enemies. Super Attack: Hawk Hurricane - Executes a high-speed spinning attack that damages and knocks back all surrounding enemies.
Toepick Role: Support Play Style: Fear-inducing support that debilitates enemies with terror. Notable Moves: Ghastly Gaze: Reveals his face, scaring enemies and causing them to flee. Creep Out: Emits an aura that reduces enemy attack speed and accuracy. Face of Fear: Targets an enemy, stunning them with fright. Super Attack: Nightmare Nova - Unleashes a wave of terror, causing all enemies to experience hallucinations and become disoriented.
Astrodactyl Role: DPS Play Style: Aerial attacker with high mobility and precision strikes from above. Notable Moves: Energy Whip: Lashes out with a whip made of pure energy, which can hit multiple targets in a line. Jet Flight: Uses his jetpack to fly quickly across the battlefield, avoiding ground-based hazards. Meteor Dive: Soars high, then dives down at an enemy, dealing significant damage upon impact. Super Attack: Starfall Barrage - Unleashes a series of energy blasts from the sky, targeting multiple enemies or focusing on a single target for increased damage.
Bullfrag Role: Tank Play Style: Tough and resilient front-line brawler with crowd control abilities. Notable Moves: Frog Slam: Leaps high and crashes down, creating a shockwave that stuns nearby enemies. Tongue Lash: Extends his tongue to pull enemies closer or disrupt their actions. Amphibious Assault: Charges through enemies, pushing them aside and dealing damage. Super Attack: Ribbit Rumble - Grows in size and gains increased health and strength, allowing him to knock back enemies with each attack and resist incoming damage.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
The plot thickens!
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
The Rundi pilot maneuvered his ship around a chunk of space debris, cutting low as he watched the slow and leisurely path of the rocket as it began on its trajectory towards the moon. Radar was almost impossible to use in the deadly debris field these humans called an orbit, so it was up to his eyes to make out any incoming hostiles.
They circled low and then wide around the slow-moving rocket, keeping their distance while also keeping an eye out. It was easy enough, as the drone was covered in cameras and sensors, which allowed them to see from almost every angle. A human might have been better at this, but right now they were the only ones they could trust.
[…]
A green folder rested atop the lectern as the President of the UN gave her halting, and to the chairwoman it seemed, unenthusiastic speech. The humans down below didn't seem to notice, making her wonder if she was simply imagining things, though a part of her said that was not the case.
She had been suspicious of the UN president from the very beginning, the very beginning when she was given power after the first launch of the enterprise, and they had been forced to deal with her during treaty negotiations. At every step there seemed to be some sort of obstacle, something wrong, some reason that the humans could just not accept. It went on behind closed doors and in quiet whispered conversations. But luckily for them, people like Adam Vir and Admiral Kelly had been there to smooth things over between the two factions.
The chairwoman knew better than most, that there were only a few humans in the galaxy holding everything together.
And the last thing she wanted was bad relations, or to go to war with this species. It would be a nightmare.
She shifted in her seat as she listened to the speech. The valley below her still had traces of smoke let off by burning so much fossil fuel at once. She imagined that such a stunt wasn't entirely great for the atmosphere of the planet, though as far as she knew humans tended to run on sustainable clean energy these days.
The Chairwoman stepped down from the little podium and into the back where she could not be seen, leaning in so she could hear the words whispered from her assistant,
"The drones are deployed, and so far we have not met any resistance.”
She nodded slowly,
"Good work, keep an eye out."
[…]
The UN president felt her fingers digging into the soft paper of the green folder. The red one was lying discarded under the lectern, and she was having trouble concentrating, forcing herself to remember that this wasn't over. She glanced into the crowd, expecting to see that strange white face staring up at her from the throng of people, but there was nothing.
Had she seen it as in her imagination, or did she really see an alien face staring back at her?
She glanced upwards, towards where the rocket had vanished, only half paying attention to the practiced words that dribbled from her mouth. She finished her speech and the people below clapped and cheered heartily, though she didn't much feel like clapping with them.
She turned on her heel and walked down to the back of the stage to where her entourage was waiting for her. Admiral Massie was sitting on one end and Admiral Kelly was sitting at the other, the two of them doing their damndest to ignore each other at all costs.
She sat down next to Admiral Massie, arms crossed over her chest as he leaned in to speak with her.
"That didn't exactly go as planned."
He muttered softly.
"It will if your men are ready."
She snapped back, her palms cold and sweaty.
Admiral Massie nodded,
"Of course, they should come out when they reach the densest part of the debris field, that way we can make it look like some unexpected collision."
He glanced towards the lectern,
"So I would keep a hold of that red folder of yours."
On the other set of chairs, Admiral Kelly was giving them a sidelong glance. Everyone knew that she was in Admiral Vir's camp, licking his boots at every opportunity. It would be within their best interest to keep silent when she was around.
The UN president leaned back in her seat,
"You should be on your way, Admiral. We will have time to talk later."
He stood and nodded slowly,
"Of course madame president."
He turned to walk away, catching the eye of Admiral Kelly as he stepped past. The two of them didn't much like each other, though as the head of the OGI (Office of Galactic intelligence) Admiral Massie had enough pull to keep Kelly in her place.
The UN president turned her head away. Not wanting to draw attention to herself.
[…]
Admiral Kelly glanced over at the UN president as Admiral Massie passed by. There was something about those two spending time together that she didn't like. Granted it was more than likely the two of them were having some sweaty, wrinkly liaisons out of hours which she didn't really want to think about, but if that was the case then he could easily be pressing his planetary isolationist views off on her.
Kelly did not think highly of the UN presidency. Right now, it seemed mostly concerned with power and political favors with the people, rather than doing the right thing. Plus, she found the president herself to be superficially charming, but easily manipulated by the wrong people. Fear mongering worked the best on her, which is why she worried about Massie and his effect on her to begin with.
She found herself digging her nails into her palms as she thought about it.
”Please help us.”
Admiral Kelly shot up in her seat looking around as she tried to find the source of the noise, or the voice. She turned in her seat expecting to find someone whispering in her ear, but there was nothing. She pressed at the implant along the side of her neck wondering if someone had called her and she just hadn't noticed?
”Look up.”
Jolted again, lifting her eyes towards the sky and the burning sun. She threw up a hand to block her vision, and as she did, she thought she saw a shape floating there against the backdrop of the sun.
She squinted hard trying to make it out but was having trouble.
”Now look into the crowd.”
She turned her head down, still not sure where the sound could be coming from, but as she looked into the crowd, she saw a strange sight. One of the people was wearing a dark hoodie, and was turned away from the direction which the rest of the crowd was facing. Their hood was pulled low, but ever so subtly, they lifted their head to reveal a porcelain white face, with large dark eyes.
Admiral Kelly went very still as she stared at the starborn.
“Not a starborn, a halfbreed. My name is Eris, I am Admiral Vir's... daughter”
Oh... oh, yes she had heard about the starborn hybrid from one of his reports.
"What do you want."
She mouthed quietly.
“We need your help, the UN president is planning to have Admiral Vir Killed, and Admiral Massie is on his way to make the order, please, you have to do something."
Admiral Kelly jolted to her feet, very quickly glancing at the UN president in shock and horror before she was able to capture her emotions. The UN president looked up to her sudden movement, and Admiral Kelly had to fight to keep her face neutral as the woman looked up at her.
"Are you feeling well Admiral?”
She could feel the sweat dripping down her face and the nape of her neck, but she remained as calm as possible as she took a deep breath,
"I... Am suddenly very dizzy. I think it's the heat."
"You should sit down, have someone bring you some water."
The woman said, her voice calm and clear as if she hadn't just ordered the murder of Adam Vir.
"No I... I think I need to walk for a minute and find some shade. You will excuse me?"
The UN president shrugged and turned back to staring at the sky, giving Admiral Kelly time to step forward and hurry after General Massi's retreating figure.
[…]
General Massie stepped into mission control and walked down the blank empty corridors. No one was here, they were all either in the control room or out celebrating the successful launch. It had been a sight to see, two-thousand-year-old technology working for one more time, but personally General Massie saw it as completely obsolete and a useless waste of government capital.
That was something they could have been using to help fortify earth's defense nexus. Out of all the useless things Admiral Vir had supported, at least he had agreed that they needed SOME form of defense against extraterrestrial attack.
General Massie made a face…
Though he wouldn't doubt Admiral Vir would have been totally fine leaving their planet with its pants down in order to let those Xenos fuck them over.
Everyone and their dog knew that Admiral Vir preferred alien cock over his own kind.
The thought made Admiral Massie cringe.
It was a well-kept secret among the UNSC, but the man wasn't nearly as secretive as he liked to think he was. Rumors of his infatuation with the stupid blue beetle alien had reached command almost as soon as it began. The only reason they didn't allow it to leak was that it would make the UNSC look bad to the rest of earth.
And Jupiter how he hated that man.
Stupid, juvenile egotistical xeno fucker!
Today was the day all of that came to an end!
He cut right, just before the doors to mission control and walked down two more hallways, finally opening a small side door into, what might have looked from the outside, like an equipment closet. He stepped over a mop and bucket and sat down at an old console, which he fired up with the flick of a button.
"Flight 1 this is Earth 1 over."
"Roger earth one this if slight one, in position over."
He turned on the screen, giving himself time to look the radar over, as twenty dots appeared on screen. Those were twenty Thunderhawks they had slowly appropriated over the intervening year.
With a place as big as the universe to cover, it was pretty easy to lose a few jets in the shuffle. He could see them now, illuminated as little green dots on his screen, hiding in the debris.
"Flight one this is Earth one, Operation “After Apollo” is go. Now remember boys and girls, make it look like an accident. Over."
*"Roger that Earth one. Over and out."
[…]
"You TRAITOR!"
Admiral Massie spun in his seat, eyes wide and wild as Admiral Kelly stood in the doorway. She could feel her skin growing hot with absolute rage as she stalked forward over the open floor. In one hand she held up the small recording device Conn had handed to her outside the building, and on it held proof of this man's order. On the screen behind him twenty little dots burst to life.
She was too late.
The man slowly got to his feet as Kelly aimed her handgun at him, her grip steady, her aim true.
"Call off your dogs."
She snarled,
Admiral Massie slowly lifted his hands, before slowly leaning forward in his seat towards the intercom button. She stepped forward, watching him intently as he leaned over the console pressing down on the button.
"Flight one this is earth one..."
Her eyes flickered up to the screen waiting to see them pause.
But before she knew what was happening an elbow came up striking her on the hand and causing the gun to spin out of her grip. Admiral Massie turned and tackled her to the floor, his nearly 300 lb body crushing her to the floor.
The wind was knocked out of her and she gasped as he struggled to pin her to the ground.
Her hat had flown off and her bun became undone as he drew back a fist to punch her. She was able to block it with her forearms as he raged and went for her face. The blows rained down on her from above with an onslaught of power she wasn't expecting but should have.
She took another gasping breath, and then with a surge of adrenaline she bucked, throwing him forward where she grabbed one of his arms and bucked again, forcing him to his side and onto his back. Still gripping his arm, she threw herself sideways, throwing her legs over his chest and struggling with his arm to pull it flat.
He kicked and grabbed at her legs with his other hand painfully gripping her calves as his nails dug into her skin and drew blood. The pain was incredible, but she finally got his arm down tucked tight to her chest, her legs across his chest, and then she jerked her hips sharply upward.
Admiral Massie screamed as his elbow snapped backwards.
She let go of him and scrambled towards the console, but at the last moment he grabbed her by the foot and hauled her back to the ground, one arm hanging limp and useless at his side. He clawed at her with one hand, and she rolled onto her back, kicking up at his face with her boot catching him square in the chin.
He staggered back as she crawled to the console and reached to adjust the frequency, ready to call in lunar support.
There was a sharp click behind her, and she froze, turning in her seat to find Admiral Massie standing behind her gun held in his good hand.
Blood leaked from his nose and down onto the front of his uniform, staining the grey fabric red,
"Nice try, Kelly."
[…]
Donovan Red waited, spinning slowly as he watched the progress of the distant rocket. Inside his helmet his breathing was cold and calm as, ranging all around him, his other men and women waited as well. Their ships had been outfitted with proper weapons as they had ridden here in the cargo hold of the Omen. The group of them weren't soldiers or trained fighter pilots, so he didn't imagine this would be easy, but it was going to have to do.
"Red, this is Apollo 11 do you copy?”
"Yeah Cinderella, I copy."
"See anything?"
"Nope not a..."
He paused,
"Wait..."
There was something, something he thought he saw detach itself from another piece of space junk,
"Hold that thought Apollo."
He detached from his own bit of space junk and inched forward.
A thunderhawk? What would one of those be doing here?
It began to accelerate.
He accelerated after it.
Up ahead the rocket was growing larger and larger in his view.
“Thunderhawk has made lock.”
The cool female voice said from his console.
"Oh shit, Admiral r-“
He didn't have time to finish his sentence as a small ball-like-silver ship came pelting down from nowhere, blasting the Thunderhawk in the wing with a sharp burst of laser fire. It's wing exploded and it went careening in the opposite direction as the silver ball whizzed past.
"What the fuck!?"
He turned to fly after it, but was stopped.
"Red, this is Wendy, stand down that's a Rundi UAV."
"Rundi? I thought it was the Rundi we were worried about!?”
He called in confusion.
"Yeah, but that thunderhawk had locked in on Apollo 11. It looks like the Rundi are helping."
He grunted and cursed under his breath,
"Boys and girls, if you see a silver ball stand down, those are on our side."
Just then another Thunderhawk shot over his head. He cursed again and pulled himself into a sharp upward turn cutting after the Thunderhawk and locking on. His lock cut off their attempts to shoot down the rocket, and they were forced to dive under as he followed after. He followed, spinning right and left around debris as the Thunderhawk attempted to escape.
It cut upward, just in time for a bright pink jet with graffiti words on the side to shoot out of nowhere.
The Thunderhawk exploded in a cloud of debris as Wendy roared by.
"Good shot, girl!”
He said over his radio.
"Thanks boss. Now let’s give them hell!"
[…]
Admiral Vir floated before the console, knuckles white and unable to do anything. A silent explosion flashed in his vision to the right as quickly as it had begun. Richards and Chavez started with wide eyes and dropped mouths.
"Admiral what the hell is going on!?”
Adam took a deep breath,
"It seems as if we are under attack."
The two of them exchanged glances,
"From who? What the fuck!?!"
Adam turned where he stood to look at the two of them,
"I am sorry I got you two into this mess, but the isolationists have been gunning for me for a few months now, and it seems as if now things have come to a head.”
"What are we going to do!"
"Radio Houston."
Chavez hurried to do as ordered, but when she did, they heard only static,
"Shit... Something is jamming our coms."
Adam took a deep breath,
"Well I guess all we have is Donovan to protect us. Lets' hope they do it right."
[…]
Admiral Massie laughed,
"You're as dumb as you look Kelly."
She stood, slowly wiping blood from her cheek as she turned to look down the barrel of the gun. Her own gun.
She didn't generally tend to agree with Massie, but this time he did have a point. Surprisingly though she was very calm,
"You aren't going to get away with this."
She glanced over to where the little silver recording device lay in the shadows under one of the chairs.
Massie was too amped to notice.
"Doesn't matter. I will have done my duty to my planet and my people, saving them from alien lovers like you and that bastard Vir."
"Whose Idea was this, the President or yours?"
She held her hands out to the side.
"Do you think that dipshit was smart enough to come up with a plan like mine?"
Kelly raised an eyebrow,
"Is it wise to incriminate your friends along with you?"
"That bitch? Heh, I could care less. And if I am going down, she is going down with me. The president may think it was all her idea, but it was mine all along, she was following my orders, whether she believes it or not, and once Adam Vir and YOU are dead, then it doesn't matter what we did, because diplomatic relations will dissolve, and it will be all over."
He lifted the gun to her face,
"Goodbye Kelly."
She remained very still as the shadow fell over him from behind,
"May I say one last thing?”
He paused.
"Turn around."
"Very funny!”
He lifted the gun again and pulled the trigger.
There was a sharp crack and thud as metal hit metal. Kelly flinched and held up her hands, but opened her eye after a moment as no pain came.
Admiral Massie lay on the floor face down.
Kelly reached down quickly to grab her gun, looking up to where Sunny was standing in the doorway holding her pearlescent white spear. Behind her floated the starborn Conn and the hybrid.
She took a deep breath,
"Great timing you three.”
Sunny nodded,
"Anytime."
Admiral Kelly turned and lunged for the comms, switching the frequency to the lunar station only to find she couldn't get through,
"Damn it."
She cursed, turning to look at Sunny and the others,
"I was too late, the ships have already been deployed."
She paused and looked down, grabbing the recording device from off the floor tossing it to the hybrid who caught it with some difficulty,
"Run that to one of the media outlets, convince them it is important and leak it as soon as you can. We don't want her to have time to cover her own ass."
Eris nodded and shot off in the other direction.
Sunny knelt down to help her restrain Admiral Massie.
Just then the sound of feet came thundering up the hall and they looked up to see the Chairwoman of the GA and her assistants skid around a corner. Sunny's eyes narrowed as she crouched low leveling her spear.
"Did you catch him?"
The Chairwoman asked,
"No thanks to you."
Sunny snarled, but the chairwoman waved her off,
"I lost contact with my drones, but they should be out helping to protect Admiral Vir. I am sorry I couldn't do more, but it was all I could do not to show my hand too early."
Admiral Kelly stood slowly,
"You knew about this?"
The charwoman shook her head,
"Not this specifically, but I have been trying to find the source of the assassination attempts on Admiral Vir's life. I've had discreet escorts on him for the past few months while I tried getting in contact with my people in the criminal underworld and I called the hit on him with those pirates, knowing who Captain Kell was, hoping that he could get more information out of the pirates that I could."
Sunny stared at her rage flickering across her face,
"You called a hit on him!"
The charwoman did not seem perturbed,
"Those pirates couldn't have... How do the humans say... Hit their way out of a paper bag. I have been attempting to come in contact with the leader of the anti-alliance for the past few months. I have been trying to convince them I am on their side, and that was part of my ruse, as well as knowing Admiral Vir was captain Kell. During my investigation it became clear that someone within the UN was involved though I couldn't have said who."
"And why should we believe you aren't just covering your own ass?”
The chairwoman hissed,
”Do you really think I want to make an enemy out of the strongest species in the galaxy!? Not on your life! I am not stupid. Besides, I owe Admiral Vir my life. I admit I have done some irreparable things in order to keep the alliance going, but those moves were calculated, and Vir was always protected.”
[…]
One of the silver UAV's exploded and Red had to dodge to the side to avoid the flying debris. He cut right and then left keeping as fast as he could possibly go as he cut up through the chunks of metal and locked onto the back of a Thunderhawk. There was a sharp click and then a silent explosion which he rolled out of the way to avoid. He had sent one of his men off to make contact with earths forces for backup.
They were good, but these men and women were made for combat, and despite their best work only four out of twenty of them had been destroyed, and their numbers were dwindling fast. He cut right before one of the Thunderhawk’s, forcing it to turn away from the rocket and cut down in another direction. He could only imagine the fear of those inside the rocket as they watched helplessly at the fight raging on around them.
He spun down and under, cutting off another Thunderhawk coming in the opposite direction.
There was no way they were going to keep up with this for long.
Their only chance was earths forces reacting quickly.
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

The tattoo artist put a second skin over it, and now the film it has a bunch of bubbles in it filled with clear liquid. Is this normal or should I take the film off?

I decided to play all the Uncrank’d Game Jam games and give them a personal ranking. I just want to say that all of the submissions are impressive for such a short window of time, and I don’t want to make it seem like I’m ragging on any of these by placing them low on this list. I have something positive to say about all of them, and I think everyone who submitted something should be proud. All the games are free on itch.io (possibly with a suggested donation), so I encourage you to check them all out on your own (but maybe not crammed into a two day period like I did).
Note: I didn’t include “Thought Bubble” because I couldn’t get it to run.
26) Torpedo Trouble - A game where you use the crank to control a boat and avoid incoming torpedoes. The controls work well and the graphics look nice, but I soon found that you could just point the ship downwards and none of the torpedoes could ever catch me. So, needs some fine tuning.
25) Blown Away - A pretty simple flappy-birdian game where you crank to keep your airplane up. It’s very difficult. I appreciated the idea of blowing into the microphone to give speed (very Cooking Mama), but I was never able to get it to work. I think the placement of the mic on the playdate just makes that very awkward? Shield Arena also used that mechanic as pretty much the Start Button, so then it was easy enough to turn the playdate and blow into it and then turn it back as the game was starting. Pressing A works instead of blowing, but you unfortunately lose the illusion of blowing onto your paper airplane when doing it that way.
24) Obol Trobol - Full credit to the dev for making a game that uses the accelerometer. It’s a pretty uncommonly used feature based on what I’ve played on the system. The game itself was a bit confusing to get the hang of, although I did eventually have one decent run. Not a lot there after one or two runs, but I did like the premise of tricking Charon in order to ferry souls.
23) Safety Diver - You drive around a little submersible and try to collect circles while avoiding blocks. You score points when you return circles to the surface, and the game ends if you ever return to the surface without any (also you lose all circles when you hit a block. Actually now that I write it out this is very “Sonic the Hedgehog” and I should probably be calling them rings). The controls and physics are both solid, and could be the baseline for a fun game from the dev in the future. There’s not a lot to the gameplay here though, and I felt like I pretty much had it down in a few minutes.
22) Cloudly Aware - A metroidvania style game (I’m guessing made in pulp) where you are a depressed man exploring the clouds. Eventually you get tools that let you traverse new areas. I like the overall vibes, but I did struggle to know when things would injure me or not (there were some sections where it was impossible not to hit lighting… and sometimes I would lose health and sometimes not), and using the propellor hat was weird because there was no visual cue for when you were using it.
21) Cooking for Crabtopia - A short little (pulp, I’m guessing?) game where you help your crab friends make a soup. There are a few different mini-games to collect the various ingredients. It only takes about 5 minutes, but it made me smile.
20) Rorschach - A funky little tool that lets you draw your own symmetrical ink blots using either the D-Pad or tilt controls. Wasn’t much there for me, but might be worth it for the more artistically gifted out there. If nothing else it can lend some inspiration for cool things you can make with the system.
19) Number One Fan - A puzzle platformer where you move a balloon around with multiple fans throughout a room. Works pretty well, but I got stuck on the second level and eventually gave up. Maybe my own fault, but that’s where we are. Also I got unreasonably mad at the fact that if the balloon’s string touches a spike the whole balloon pops. That’s not the relationship between string and balloon! Sorry. It’s a fun concept.
18) House - One of two games in this jam about a ghost solving a mystery. Weird. This one is a bit buggy (when you get the broken necklace it multiplies endlessly in your inventory) and I’m not sure if I actually finished it or not (I submitted a solution and the house just started shaking a lot, and I was unable to try solving again), but there was a lot of effort put into it and I do enjoy an adventure game.
17) Pappyshow - You control a man who is being mirrored and livestreaming it. You move and rotate him and his bodyparts to create various monstrous visions. There’s some element of gameplay here where your number of viewers goes up and down based on what you’re making him do, but I never quite figured out how that worked. Mostly it’s just a fun little kaleidoscope style toy, and the graphics are quite nice, but it only kept my attention for a few minutes. The game’s store page shows Pappy wearing a wig at one point, so it’s possible there’s a bit more depth in this game than I was able to find.
16) Masterworks Inc. - A very cool idea where you use the crank to draw a line and you have to try to match what is being drawn by the AI on the other side of the screen. Not a lot there and I was done with it in a few minutes, but a solid base concept. I was very bad at it. I did three play-throughs and never got out of the 300s.
15) Floaty McFloatface - Really only kept my attention for a few minutes, but the art was very nice. The controls are simple but also purposefully imprecise (I think?). I can see some people getting really into seeing how long they can stay afloat.
14) Reflektor Jam - Looks nice and the gameplay of rotating mirrors to redirect lasers was kind of fun. Maybe better suited to level based puzzles instead of the time attack type game that is here, but fun for a few minutes. I popped 30 balloons.
13) Lake Hero - Plenty of levels on this one if you enjoy the gameplay. It’s a simple “collect objects and don’t hit obstacles” kind of game. Could definitely be fleshed out into a fun game with some more time, but it is one of the few games here I didn’t finish because I eventually got frustrated.
12) Boatload - A claw-game style game where you pick up moving boxes and place them on moving ships. Drop three boxes and the game ends. The controls and gameplay on this felt very clean. Feels like it could be a mini-game within a larger game as-is. Adding some elements to add variety and difficulty, and maybe some levels instead of just a score-attack, could give this potential to be a full fledged game.
11) One Man Threat Ops - A top down shooter where you complete various single screen stages. I like that there was a variety in the objectives so each stage didn’t feel repetitive. I also like the idea of the two gun types, but in reality I couldn’t really get the bouncing or wall-floating-over mechanics to matter since the enemies moved so fast and usually only spawned when they were in your sight lines. Also the controls are pretty rough. The fact that B is move and A is shoot means that you can’t really shoot and move at the same time. That might be intentional, but I found it pretty frustrating.
10) Shield Arena - A pretty fun little game; sort of an inverse twin stick shooter where you move a shield with the crank to deflect bullets. Rough around the edges, but a lot of potential if the dev decides to keep working on it.
9) Montgolfier Test Flight - Very simple one-button style game, but the music and graphics are both beautiful and it feels responsive and snappy. Reminds me of a lot of flash games I burned many hours on in my youth (Dino Run, Rainbow Unicorn Attack, etc).
8) Siege of Syracuse - A classic defend the castle style game that also reminds me of a bunch of old flash games. You use the crank to direct a beam which burns and sinks ships as they come in. It’s a wave based system, and you choose upgrades between waves and try to survive through wave 7. Pretty short and nothing revolutionary, but solid and fun for 15-20 minutes. Also there’s a sweet intro narrated by Bruce Campbell (or maybe William Shatner?).
7) Prop of the Class - Maybe the most “complete” feeling game in the jam, with an opening cutscene, a cutscene for the tutorial, multiple save states, a name input screen, etc. Also plenty of levels if you’re into the gameplay. I made it about 15 levels in, but got a bit tired with it. If you like “lander” style games there could be a lot here for you.
6) Dragon Flagon - A cozy little game with impressive production values for such a short window. I didn’t find much to bring me back after one playthrough, but I’d be very interested in seeing more from this dev (after writing this I looked up the Dev and realized they made Reelistic Fishing, which was already my favorite game on the platform. Makes sense).
5) The Crystal Bay - There have been a few 3D style games on the system, but it’s very impressive to see one made so quickly. Took me a bit to figure out what I was doing, but I did eventually have a nice time exploring the map and finding those crystals.
4) Duck Game - Short, but a ton of work must have gone into this in such a brief window. The gameplay is really just experimenting with the number of ducks you can get to follow you to see all the endings (also just swimming around in order to see all the funny dialogue from the people standing in the pond, or listening to all the quack based parody songs). Kind of lovely.
3) Life’s too Short: On Reflection - I’m a sucker for bite-sized adventure games. This one is charming and very wholesome. I never played the original, but I’m going to make a point of it now. Was this made in pulp?
2) Jelly Float - A decidedly nifty little game. You use the crank to rotate a fish around a jellyfish, and then use B to blow the Jelly in the right direction without hitting walls or obstacles. There’s a sizable maze here, and I think I spent about a half hour with the game (there’s a timer at the end when you get the jelly back to its family, but I think that might have been off, or maybe reset when I hit the depths)? There are some genuinely difficult sections, but with enough checkpoints to never get into rage-game territory (not that that would be a bad thing).
1) Quack Magic - Probably the game here I would be most interested in seeing fleshed out into a full release. The gameplay is immediately rewarding and it looks great. There’s only a few levels and it finishes just as the puzzles are starting to get a bit challenging, but being left wanting more is pretty good for a game made in a few days.

It was a race between The Four Tops and The Monkees, but in the end, The Monkees finished first with "Last Train to Clarksville", winning the 1966 poll. A great song. Well-deserved victory.
1967 is often considered one of the greatest years in popular music, and the year that psychedelia really became mainstream. It's also the year where the British Invasion has pretty much ended. It's also where the counterculture movement really became present in music. It's a year where rock is starting to become harder. Also, 1967 also saw a great explosion in popularity for soul music, which would continue all the way into the 1970s.
******
1) “To Sir With Love” (Lulu) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOVQ4vAmM7Y
In the year of psychedelia, British singer Lulu's pop ballad from the Sidney Poitier-led film "To Sir, With Love" became the No. 1 song of 1967, making her the second British female artist to do so in the rock era, following Petula Clark in 1965. She also became the first of two Scottish female solo artists to achieve this, with Sheena Easton being the second in 1981. It was not until 2011, when Calvin Harris, featuring Rihanna, topped the Hot 100 with "We Found Love" that another Scottish artist topped the Hot 100.
I really enjoy this song. Lulu's performance is sincere, warm, and bubbly. I’m a little surprised that it was the number one song of the year, but it's definitely a great track.
2) “The Letter” (The Box Tops) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyq3PUTnpd0
"The Letter," a blue-eyed soul track by The Box Tops, topped the US charts with 16-year-old Alex Chilton as the lead vocalist. It was written by country musician Wayne Carson. Chilton later co-founded the highly influential cult power pop band Big Star. While The Box Tops never reached the top spot again, they achieved several more Top 40 hits, including the 1968 hit "Cry Like a Baby," which peaked at number two in the US. “The Letter” is also the last song to top the Hot 100 that is under 2 minutes.
I do enjoy this song, but it’s not long enough for me to truly connect with it. I always found it fascinating that Chilton sounds older and gruffer on this song at 16 than at age 23 when the first Big Star album came out.
3) “Ode to Billie Joe” (Bobbie Gentry) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJZ_ViDADOE
A US No. 1, Bobbie Gentry's gothic country song, performed with a simple acoustic guitar and subtle string background, captures the haunting tale of Billie Joe McAllister's suicide in rural Mississippi. Narrated by a young woman with a secret connection to Billie Joe, the song explores her family's indifferent reaction to the tragedy. The mysterious element of what was thrown off the Tallahatchie Bridge has intrigued listeners for decades. Gentry has repeatedly emphasised that the focus of the song is on the family's emotional detachment, describing it as "a study in unconscious cruelty," and stated that the object thrown off the bridge was irrelevant to the song's deeper message.
Fantastic song. Haunting. Very well written and performed by Gentry, who is an underappreciated artist nowadays. You can hear the influence this song had on the singer-songwriter movement of the early 70s. Check out her catalogue - she has several great songs and albums. She also scored a UK No. 1 in 1969 with her cover of “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again”.
4) “Windy” (The Association) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUv9OK4KUv8
The 2nd and final US No. 1 by the sunshine pop group The Association, this song was written by Ruthann Friedman. She initially claimed that she had written the song about a man that she had a crush on (the gender of the song was changed in The Association version), but she later revealed that she had written the song about herself during her mid-20s. She wrote "Windy" in waltz time, but the group’s producer Bones Howe changed it to the more common 4/4 to ensure the song's commercial appeal. The lead vocals were sung primarily by guitarist and new band member Larry Ramos along with vocalist Russ Giguere. Ramos, who was of Filipino descent, was a rare Asian-American lead singer to have a number one hit single.
I dunno about you, but I absolutely love this song. It’s honestly one of my all-time favourites (alongside their US Hot 100 No. 2 masterpiece “Never My Love”). It’s perfect pop. So catchy, and quite danceable. I remember first hearing it when it was used in “Breaking Bad” (how ‘bout a windy, Wendy?).
5) “I’m a Believer” (The Monkees) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PQAqprjOuA
I’m sure everyone knows this song, whether by The Monkees or the Smash Mouth cover. It was written by Neil Diamond and sung by Monkees’ lead singer Mickey Dolenz. Accounting for strictly sales of singles, this was the biggest-selling single of 1967, excluding radio play. It reached No. 1 in numerous countries all over the world.
Who doesn’t love this song? It may be overplayed, but it’s a classic.
6) “Light My Fire” (The Doors) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLiq8j29Lww
"Light My Fire," the first of two chart-toppers for American psychedelic rock band The Doors, was credited to the whole band but was largely written by guitarist Robby Krieger. The song, known for its erotic lyrics and distinctive structure, epitomises the '60s psychedelic and sexual revolutions. The album version stretches over 7 minutes, while the radio-friendly single cuts down to just under 3 minutes. Krieger drew inspiration from the melody of "Hey Joe" and the lyrics of the Rolling Stones' "Play with Fire." When he brought his initial draft to the band, drummer John Densmore proposed a Latin rhythm, lead vocalist Jim Morrison contributed to the second verse and part of the chorus, and Ray Manzarek introduced a Bach-inspired organ motif. The song famously starts with a single snare drum beat, a suggestion from Densmore.
Wow, I’m shocked The Doors scored a US No. 1, let alone two (their other chart-topper was “Hello, I Love You”). That’s awesome. Great song. Not my favourite song by the band, but still, it’s a classic. I put the single version as the link.
***
Rounding out the Top 10 is “Somethin’ Stupid” (Nancy and Frank Sinatra) (No. 7), “Happy Together” (The Turtles) (No. 8), “Groovin’” (The Rascals) (No. 9), “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” (Frankie Vali) (No. 10). An extremely strong Top 10. Even the worst song in the Top 10 - that Frank/Nancy song - isn’t that bad (it's more weird since it's a duet between fathedaughter).
***
Be sure to listen to all songs before voting.
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With the airing of the reunion bringing added traffic and old Dance Moms fans back into this subreddit, I’ve been seeing more and more negative posts and comments surrounding JoJo. Whether it’s her inclusion in the reunion, her relationship with Abby, or her actions now as a 20-year-old, she’s being thrown to the wolves on the daily. I’m someone who got into Dance Moms right when it started airing—I was a teenager who’d danced competitively for years and the girl’s experience reminded me of my own (in the beginning, at least…). When JoJo was eventually brought to the show, I had a feeling she was going to be a star one day, but I also knew she was never going to have a “regular life”, which is something I believed the other girls had a chance at, once the show would stop filming.
Back in 2015, JoJo did a mall tour and came to my area. I’d never been able to meet a Dance Moms girl before, so I grabbed my sister, convinced her to go with me, and figured if my thoughts were correct and JoJo DID make it big, we’d have a good “celebrity I met” story to tell someday. I wrote up the whole experience and posted it on Tumblr, and thought resurrecting it now might give some insight and perspective into why JoJo is the way she is now. This tour happened almost ten years ago, and JoJo had already been “working” for years. She never stopped. I understand all the girls are adults now, but when I was 20, 21, 22, 23, etc. I certainly didn’t have it all figured out. Even if I thought I did. I’m not saying the girls should be free of any and all critiques. I’m just hopeful this will remind people that our lives, in comparison to the lives of these girls who were broadcast on TV for years as they were growing up, are not the same. Sure, we wouldn’t want a relationship with Abby, we’re able to view her from an outsider’s perspective and see how cruel she was. But being in that bubble with her? And having a mom that supported your relationship with her? I’m not surprised that JoJo, at 20, still sees their relationship as a positive thing. Maybe in ten years she’ll feel differently. But, for now, here’s a copy/paste of my write-up from the meet and greet! I hope y’all enjoy some old Dance Moms lore.
“So I went to the Jojo meet and greet in my local mall today and here’s what went down if anyone is curious :)
• Jojo performed a solo to “Fight Song” after giving a speech to the audience that basically was “I love this song because it’s all about building a wall, well not actually, like, physically building a wall with the bricks and cement and stuff like that, like, a wall to just block out the haters. I’ve had to learn how to do that.”
• Her favorite Miley Cyrus song is Can’t Be Tamed, which she then started to sing and the microphone died lol.
• At one point something fell over behind the stage and made a loud crash, and Jojo got scared because she had been in a mall where there was a shooting before and she thought it was a gunshot.
• She said Maddie and Kendall are probably the closest friends on the show.
• When asked about her worst moment with Abby, she re-enacted the scene where Abby yelled at her to get out after she said “If you yell at me I’m gonna cry.” It was actually hilarious because she demonstrated it as though she ran out of the room in sad hysterics, but obviously that didn’t happen :) She said it’s funny to look back on now.
• Her favorite group dance is “Always a bridesmaid” and she still remembers the Spice Girls dance, the Moulin Rouge dance, and Selfie (which she demonstrated very cutely)
• I asked Jessalynn about the meet and greet that Jojo did with Abby in LA, and this is what she told me : basically, Jess got a random phone call from Abby’s makeup artist one day, saying that Abby wanted to do a meet and greet with Jojo. Jess didn’t buy it and said she’d only believe it once Abby got on the phone and told her herself. So Abby got on the phone and was “acting all sweet” saying that “it would be fun” and “the two divas” etc etc. Jess didn’t want to say yes at first, but she got two of her best friends to go with her in the hopes that having people with her would keep Abby from going off on her lol. In the end it wasn’t just for the show, but Jess assumes Abby only wanted to do an event with Jojo because she knows Jojo would get people into the studio.
• Jess hasn’t seen the reunion yet and was happy they portrayed her in a decent light, but wasn’t surprised that Holly looked kind of crazy. (She actually asked me if they showed Holly walking out haha)
• I was one of the last people to meet Jojo and when she was signing my photo for me she looked down and was like “Wow I really just signed this photo JoJoJo, look!” so she let me have two pictures :) I like the JoJoJo one better because it’s funny HA
So that’s basically it! She had done two meet and greets earlier in the day (along with two master classes) and then she did another master class and meet and greet after. Poor girl must be exhausted, but she kept her energy up during the question and answer and her performance. When I finally got to her she seemed a little shy and/or tired (I wouldn’t be surprised if she was shy because I’m like 20 and all the other people were small children LOL) but she was still very cute and nice :)
I also bought a bow and wore it around the mall like a fool, but it was worth it”