I am not sure if this is the right section and I apologize if it is not. My wife (33f) and I (35m) just recently went through a horrible weekend where we found out she had an interstitial pregnancy, which resulted in an emergency laparoscopic wedge surgery to remove the fetus, part of her uterus, and one fallopian tube. We are trying to stay positive by keeping our eye on the future and planning out our calendar for a year out, but was unfortunately given different advice from doctors on when we can start trying again ranging from 3,6, to 12 months. Our main priority is her health, but we are slightly pressed for time as has fibroids and does not want to do another myomectomy and would prefer to remove them during the c-section. Just wondering if anyone has gone through this and if so if they were able to do a check on their uterus (ultrasound/mri) to ensure it was healthy. Thank you.

Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:

1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
   
2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
   

2A. Allow way more time, a month total.

1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
   
2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
   
3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
   
4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
   

I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.

Hello, everyone! Sorry for such a relatively silly request, but it's important tor me!
In the past, I'd found a beautiful song rendition of this mantra which I used to sing to, but I cannot find it anywhere now. I cannot remember the artist, either.
It was hosted at YouTube, and the singer was an Asian woman. Apparently she was a dancer and became a wife to some kind of warrior ruler in this video. She looked into the future, saw that he'd die in the war and asked him not to go to war, but he went to it and died. A strange plot for such a mantra, but whatever, the mantra itself was sung beautifully! 3 times overall, I think.
I think it was a Sanskrit rendition of the mantra, even though I sang over it as I was taught instead. It was a song, not a chant, although it started out as a chant and was pretty fast for a song, so for those who love to sing it could serve as a kind of chant-song. My hope is low, but who knows, maybe someone knows what I'm talking about?

Wife and I have decided to look for a boat just for fun on the water and casual fishing. We don’t need tube towing capability but do want to have a good range and also be able to do light camping either in the boat or on shore so would like a boat we can beach. Budget under $25k if possible…
We don’t really want a pontoon boat but it would fit the weight and floor space needs. All the deck boats we see are too heavy. The Tahoe 185s looks like a okay fit for our needs but the brand seems to get a lot of detractors.
We love the idea of a RIB like a Highfield Sport 660 but the tubes worry me. Can they handle the summer heat? I ask because all the videos online are in cold climates and we don’t see many used RIBs anyway…
Suggestions?

This is a detailed post, so bear with me. The following doesn't entail the entirety of me, but is a close approximation.
Age: 27 female
Height: 5 2"
Weight: 61 kgs
Caste: Kashmiri Butt
Sunni, practicing Muslims
Single, never married or engaged
City: Lahore.
Whether you’re in Pakistan or reside abroad, I’d prefer if you’re originally from (primarily) Lahore (or Islamabad), so the family meetups are much easier and there’s a cultural similarity too.
Education: BS (Honors) in Applied Psychology and Master's in Clinical Psychology.
Profession: Mental Health Counsellor
Family: We're 3 siblings including me. One brother, one sister. Mother is housewife. Father is retired from work.
Do you want kids? – Yes of course. But I’d like to wait at least a year and half (minimum) or more to settle into the marriage first, develop a bond with my spouse, understand each other and then get into the role of a parent, which is a huge responsibility as is.
Religiosity – I’m a practicing Muslim. Although I’m clearly not perfect, I do pray at least 4 times, do obligatory fasts, do hijab, dress modestly, listen to lectures of Mufti Menk, Dr. Omar Sulieman, Ustad Nouman Ali Khan, Youth Club, Dr. Yasir Qadhi and many others to become a better Muslim and a better human everyday. I’m modest but not an extremist/conservative by any means and like to stay open-minded.
I’m a Sunni Muslim. We don’t celebrate Milaad, khatam or any other bid’ah or shirk etc. I want someone with similar Aqeedah.
Deal Breakers:

• Poor personal hygiene
• Taller than 6 feet (too tall for me). But this one is still negotiable for the right person.
• Being younger than me
• Drinking, smoking or any kind of substance use in the past or present.
• Me having to live with in-laws after marriage
• Celebrating milad, khatams, and other bid'ah or shirk, etc.
• Controlling personality, anger management issues. Any paranoid or suspicious tendencies.
• Someone who’s not willing to help his wife at all in the house (for whatever reason)
• Not respecting women and treating them like house maids or mere babymakers.
• Not concerned with whether you earn halal or haram.
• Bringing trauma-responses, dysfunctional coping mechanisms/ baggage from previous relationships.
• Forcing wife to work after marriage or stay home.

Ideal marriage timeline – Around 1 ish year, but that can be mutually decided.
Important characteristics in a prospect
· Education: At least BS Honors or higher
· Age: somebody older than me
· Good personal hygiene and discipline – It should go without saying, but I want someone who takes good care of his personal hygiene, is organized and disciplined in life.
· Self-sufficient – I acknowledge that women are nurturers. Having said that, I’d highly value a spouse who is not shy to help around in house chores and is able to manage himself well. I’ve seen many husbands being “dependent” on their wives for the smallest things, and it doesn’t sit well with me. He should be able to take care of his own self and personal tasks if need be. Yes, women are carers, but everything in moderation, including moderation!
· Balance of Deen and Duniya – I’d really like my spouse praying daily, being God-fearing and trying to learn more about Deen in general. Bottom line, the basic pillars of Islam should be there. I’m not looking for perfection, (I’m far from it myself), but he should prioritize religious and moral values in his life and have a strong moral compass in general. I don’t want the typical molvi kind, rather someone educated on true Islam. Nothing extreme or conservative. I’d also want my partner to have good Ikhlaaq; so he’s easy to talk to and has good relationships with people around him. Humility is the greatest virtue, and I believe that true Deen is always reflected in one’s good character, not the obligatory prayer or fasts.
· Having Perspective and being far-sighted - Someone who values character, meaningful connection and personality compatibility more than running solely after typical appearance ideals. Those things fade and marriage is for the long haul anyways.
· Sense of emotional safety – There should be a sense of emotional safety with my spouse. That is, he respects mine and others’ opinions, is open-minded, is patient and tolerates a difference of opinion. Someone with whom I can feel truly heard and express myself without fear of judgement. Someone who is kind, compassionate, honest and doesn’t have anger issues or conservative thinking.
· Clear communication – There are few things I value more than good communication skills. He should be able to communicate in English or can at least reciprocate me (No, I’m not Shakespeare). More importantly, someone who is able to articulate his thoughts and feelings openly and is willing to have difficult conversations without stonewalling.
· Freedom – Freedom is my strongest core value. I want to feel free and autonomous around my spouse, i.e. to feel a sense of psychological safety around him and not feel caged. I’d really appreciate the freedom to work or choose to stay at home.
· Nuclear family - I'm a strong proponent of a nuclear family, i.e. husband, wife and their kids, which is conducive to mental health of all parties involved (as supported by our religion as well). I’ve personally seen and heard enough horror stories. Joint family system is the breeding ground for many domestic problems and inevitable conflicts. So, I’d really appreciate someone who understands this (without being offended) and can provide a nuclear family setup. Rented house is okay, so long as it's separate.
· Emotional availability – That is, he is able to listen to others, empathize, reciprocate love and care as well as express his own feelings and not afraid to lend a shoulder to cry on or compliment others. In other words, I want an Emotionally Intelligent person.
· Financial stability - Not being materialistic or unrealistic, but a man should be ambitious and have goals for future growth to sustain his family in the long run.
· Generosity - Someone who is generous (while staying within reason and means, of course) and not stingy with spending.
· A simple wedding - I'd prefer a relatively simple wedding.

This is a sketch of an ideal person for me, but anyone who’s somewhere along these lines is good.
Hobbies:
I’m pretty boring by regular standards, but here we go :)
I love to watch English movies, series, anime (AOT anyone? IYKYK), listen to audiobooks (I don’t prefer to read them, unless required professionally), watch documentaries and video essays on social, cultural issues, psychology, psychiatry, health, nutrition, fitness, true crime, etc. I’m keen on learning about nutrition and health and try to work on it myself as much as is practical for me. I enjoy instrumental compositions, especially piano and orchestra. I’m mesmerized by space/ universe. I also listen to various podcasts on plethora of topics from religion to medicine, mental health, relationships and social trends/evils, etc. I believe that YouTube is the greatest learning and leisure resource; I personally can’t go a day without it.
Interesting things about you:
I’m an ambivert (selectively social) and keep a very small but valuable circle. I love my “me time.” I am confident but like to keep to myself. I’m detail-oriented, like discipline, routine and order in life. I’m a Type-A personality and an ISTJ (if that matters to you). Not materialistic and generally low maintenance. I’m a bronze medalist and also a published researcher in Clinical Psychology discipline. I highly value my privacy, in real life and especially online.
I grew up in the Middle East. I live a simple life and prioritize self-care. I’m family-oriented and have a vision for my future parenting practices.
I’m a bubbly, energetic and very fun-loving person in general. I’m told that I’m compassionate and generous with appreciating others. The smallest things give me joy. I'm also firm with my boundaries in life.
I absolutely love animals and have a few pets myself (a cat and birds). Still wish I could have many more :( I cherish quality family time and hangouts. Definitely not brand conscious and I don’t watch the brain-numbing news (I do stay updated on world events though). Personally, I live and let live and expect the same from my spouse. I’m inclined towards rationality and logic; so not an idealist. I’m not much interested in politics. I’m less of an outdoorsy person and enjoy indoor activities much more. Nevertheless, I would love to travel with my spouse and explore new places for sure.
All in all, I’m a desi girl at heart, with a mix of western touch of course. I lean a little more towards traditional values (while keeping a balance) and don’t identify with radical feminism of today (things have gone so wrong there!), but rather “true” feminism that Islam so beautifully and rationally embodies.
In interpersonal relations, I always communicate and discuss things that bother me and never sweep things under the rug or pretend nothing happened. It’s only fair that I expect the same openness from my spouse.
I can’t stand people who don’t keep their word (in personal lives or professionally), i.e. they tell you they’ll do something and then they don’t.
To sum up, I’m looking for an easy-going, humble, self-aware, responsible, respectful and emotionally available man. Someone with whom I can make bad jokes and laugh at memes together; a best friend for life. Hopefully, someone who loves animals as much as I do. And of course, I’ll also be all those things I mentioned above without question.
P.S. No description can completely acquaint you with a person. Nevertheless, I tried to cover all the major points.
Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. It can be overwhelming, but don’t hesitate to reach out if you think we can click.
If you message, please get to the point straight away with your profile mentioned. I can’t do small talk and please DON’T message if you’re not looking to settle down or intend to ghost or just have poor online social etiquette, i.e. being inconsistent in the talking stage.
With a profound decision like marriage, I believe in vetting each other first. Once it’s apparent that we’re a good match, parents will definitely be involved for sure.
Thanks for having the patience to read through it :) :) :)
May Allah make it easy for all of us. Ameen.

My wife is pregnant with a due date in October '24. We live in London so we never needed a car before, but with the baby arriving soon, we would like to have one to travel around instead of lifting and pushing buggies up the stairs of the Tube.
Our budget for a used car is £16,000. We have the money to pay cash but figured it would be best to use my excellent credit score and buy the car with a 0% credit car to spread the repayment over 20months with no interest, and leave the money in our savings and ISA stocks and shares accounts to gain interest and dividends.
Essentially, we will be getting a 20months installments plan instead of taking a £16k hit upfront.
Would that be a clever way to continue generating money while repaying a big purchase?
Sounds like a pretty obvious approach. Or am I missing something?

Fellow pellet heads, I am officially in analysis paralysis. My GMG Daniel Boone has 4 different failures (auger jam I cannot clear, motor shot, control board semi functional, igniter needs replacement.) I think it’s time for a new smoker.
I have specific criteria I am trying to meet. Namely:

• at least as much space as my Daniel Boone. Can be including upper rack. Largest cook I am likely to do is a brisket and two boneless turkey breasts.
• under $1000
• exterior ash clean out MUST
• reasonably weather proof. My DB took water in the pellet hopper even in a drizzle.
• insulated well enough for northern IL

Nice to haves are:

• Ideally would fit my GMG pizza oven
• functionality for heavier smoke flavor (under 200, wood basket, smoke boost). I already have a pellet tube so this is not a dealbreaker.

This does not have to last forever but I’d like to get at least 5 years out of it while I save up for a forever smoker. Here are the smokers I am considering:
Top 2 - Weber Searwood 600 - Camp Chef Woodwind 24
Others I have considered
-pit boss competition series 1600 - members mark 36 with smoke tray
Any RecTeq is a hard no, my wife despises the horns.
I have access to Costco and Sam’s memberships. Live near a Menards as well as the national chains. Please help me. I’d like to hear from folks that have actually used the grills. Other suggestions welcome, I don’t know what I don’t know. Thanks!

For the past few months, I have been dabbling with setting up a homelab. I have a few apps up and running with plans for more in the near future. I do not currently have access to the ISP router to open specific ports.
One of the running apps is JellyFin. JellyFin is great and the family has been using it at home to watch the movies that I formerly had on DVD/Blu-Ray as well as to listen to 2000+ audio/music files and view/store about 1000 pictures. Now we need access from outside the network, primarily to be able to watch these movies from phones and tablets, but potentially to allow other friends and family to see the pics, etc.
Simple solution was to purchase a domain name from Cloudflare, build a tunnel and connect to the JellyFin server. Works great, but of course, anybody that finds the tunnel endpoint can access my JellyFin server. Shortly after setting this up, I noticed that JellyFin was very sluggish and assumed that either the tunnel itself was the issue or that somebody was actually using the tunnel to access my JellyFin server. I didn't have time to troubleshoot, so I just removed the tunnel and verified that the problem went away as well.
Now, I'm back to implementing remote access to my homelab. Cloudflare is still a consideration and if I'm reading the documentation correctly there are several ways to mitigate unauthorized access, but to be honest I'm having a problem piecing together a clear picture of how it all works and how to implement properly. I'm sure that I can find a tutorial or YouTube video to explain it, but now I'm wondering if there isn't a better solution.
Ideally, I would like a solution that can authorize a device/user to have the access that I assign to it, whether that be just JellyFin or other apps/devices/protocols such as self-hosted Cloud-like storage, email, RDP, ssh or complete network access, etc. I would prefer a one-time enrollment of the specific device (phone, tablet, PC, etc). It would definitely be nice if the solution was OS agnostic for the remote endpoint. We currently have Linux and Windows based PCs as well as Android/IOS phones and tablets. The wife and 2 of 3 adult kids are mostly technology incompetent.
My two homelab servers currently run Linux Mint, but I will most likely rebuild the lab from scratch in the near future and add another server or two. I plan on having at least one "production" server if not two and a sandbox for testing. My experimenting over the past few months has led to a mixture of apps being installed/reinstalled/deleted as well as testing various administrative tools, etc. In other words, I've created a mess. After a 45 year career in IT, I know better, but my excuse was/is that I was just playing around with it all and brushing up my dated skillset. I've been retired for 5 or 6 years and technology changes fast.
Top requirement is that the solution be secure, second would be ease of use from an end-user point of view and lastly ease of use/setup from an administrator point of view. Though I'm moderately comfortable with the command line, I do prefer GUI interfaces when they make the job easier (the reason that I'm running Mint on the servers).

Seriously, don't even attempt to trivialize it. It's not about waking you up at 3:00 am for mundane reasons like running out of milk or needing your Wi-Fi password. This entity, whatever it may be, operates outside our reality's bounds, and its motives are far from benign. I learned this the hard way recently, which is why I'm cautioning you all against making light of it. But before delving into specifics, let me offer some context, as sleep paralysis is a recent phenomenon for me.
One of my earliest memories of sleep disruption traces back to my grade school days. With my mother on an early shift unable to drive me to school for its 8:00 am start, she would drop me off at my aunt's house. Here, she ensured I was fed, dressed, and ready for school. Most mornings, I had just about an hour left to sleep before needing to rise. Often, I'd find myself in a half-asleep state from the moment my mom roused me until she tucked me into my aunt's spare bedroom.
On one of those mornings, as I lay down, teetering between wakefulness and sleep, I experienced a peculiar sensation. It felt as though my body began to rise, hovering about two feet above the bed, before swiftly plummeting back down. Startled awake, I assumed my mother had thrown me back onto the bed, only to find the room empty upon opening my eyes.
I hadn't encountered any other experiences quite like that, but it was during this time that I distinctly recall a notable surge in the frequency of the nightmares I was experiencing. The nightmares were generally the same, some cloaked being hiding in the recesses of my vision, always there, always watching. I felt as though each passing night terror that it got closer and closer to me, but always just out of reach. At times, I found myself trapped in a dark room, enveloped by an overwhelming sense of malevolence that seemed to saturate the air—and a fear entirely foreign to my waking experiences.
Then I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time.
It occurred at my mother's house, marking the initial instance where I experienced the sensation of my body being effectively immobilized while my mind remained active. I recall attempting to move my eyes and then my body, but all efforts were futile. As I struggled to regain autonomy, it sounded as though a gathering had convened in my kitchen, voices carrying in muted tones. None of the which resembled those of my parents; I even detected snickering and laughter at one point. The conversation seemed to be aimed at me, as my name was uttered several times, yet the other words remained indecipherable. The episode concluded with me returning to sleep without any further disturbances.
As the instances of sleep paralysis became more frequent, they culminated in another peculiar experience. Shortly after moving into my first apartment, still in the midst of unpacking and assembling furniture, the second incident occurred. I lay on a mattress on the floor, surrounded by unassembled bedframe pieces, when I awoke to find myself imprisoned within my own body once more. In the darkness, I heard a faint sound—a presence moving softly over each piece of furniture. Panic gripped me as I strained to turn my head towards the noise, but every effort proved futile. With each passing moment, the unseen entity drew closer until it reached the bedside. Helpless, I closed my eyes, bracing myself for whatever awaited.
Meow?
Relief washed over me as I realized it was just my generously proportioned feline friend making his way around the room. I could hear him moving about, stepping on more furniture and emitting a few disgruntled meows, presumably chastising my laziness for not assembling it yet. As I began to drift back to sleep, I was abruptly startled awake by a chilling sound.
Snnn-orrrff
A primal, guttural snarl pierced the silence, its menacing resonance echoing through the room like a thunderous roar. I struggled desperately to move my limbs, silently screaming in my mind, yet only managing a feeble whimper as I sensed the beast drawing near. Despite my efforts, my body only twitched, while in my imagination, I leapt up and fled. As a mischievous chuckle erupted, I felt hot, pungent breath on the back of my neck. I suddenly awoke, screaming, kicking and punching. I jerked my head to the side and was met only with darkness. I jumped up and turned the light on, a quick scan of the room revealed there was nothing there. Exhausted and recognizing my inability to function effectively, I reluctantly resigned myself to lying back down with the light on until morning. I called into work, knowing that in my current state, I wouldn't be of much use to anyone.
Days passed and soon, it was that time of the month again for my regular check-in from mom. I hesitantly answered the call. After a few minutes of conversation, we eventually broached the topic of my sleep paralysis.
"Honey, it's probably all the stress." she reasoned.
My job had me grinding away tirelessly, but despite my efforts, all I got was a tiny bump in pay. To add to the mix, my landlord decided it was the perfect time to raise the rent. It's safe to say, the stress was really getting to me. "I don't know, it's been happening my whole life, Dad ever had any issues with sleep?"
There was a noticeable pause as she contemplated her reply. "He's definitely had his share of nightmares, he'd wake me up a lot of the times, poor thing would be in tears."
"Jeez, I never knew, but Mom I gotta…" I endeavored to conclude the conversation, as my allotted chat time was expiring, however my mother promptly interrupted me.
"Sweetie, why won't you join us at church? It might help?"
I released a sigh. I staunchly opposed the notion of going to church; I'd rather watch a documentary on the history of paperclips. "Thanks, but I'm not feeling that right now."
"Please, just do it for me?" She pleaded.
Eager to bring the call to a close. "I'll think about, but, alright I'm going to go ahead a hop off here."
"Alright, I miss you, call me later okay?"
"I will, love you, bye."
I concluded the call with a sigh of relief, grateful for its conclusion.
For a stretch, life seemed to fall into place: My job noticed the disparity between my increased workload and pay and offered me a new position that significantly improved my financial situation. Thanks to this new position, I crossed paths with my wife, and we swiftly eloped. She was one of the top account managers, earning a substantial income, which enabled us to afford a nice house together. During this period, the night terrors and bouts of sleep paralysis took a hiatus, granting me a reprieve. Yet amidst the tranquility, a gnawing sense of foreboding lingered, as if a tempest loomed on the horizon, urging me to savor the calm while it lasted.
During this period, my wife and I had been eagerly anticipating the arrival of our first child. We were overjoyed as she reached the sixth month of her pregnancy, carrying our long-awaited daughter. However, my suspicions proved tragically correct. I'll never forget the heart-wrenching phone call from my wife, her voice choked with tears, informing me of the terrifying sight of blood. Hastening to the emergency room, we raced against time, but our efforts proved futile. We lost our precious daughter that day. The journey back home was a blur, engulfed in a suffocating sense of loss that seemed to consume us both. It felt as though a part of me had died alongside our daughter, and the profound grief only served to widen the chasm between us as time passed, transforming our once intimate bond into a hollow semblance of what it once was.
Sleep paralysis and nightmares began to resurface, as if some malevolent force was exploiting my already troubled state, and my ability to sleep dwindled. Additionally, minor habits and disparities in the early stages of our marriage, once insignificant, began escalating into cataclysmic arguments. By now, I'm certain even my breathing would agitate my wife. Despite experimenting with various medications, none proved effective. Even vigorous physical exercise failed to exhaust me enough for uninterrupted sleep. The situation escalated to the point where my wife banished me from the bedroom due to my incessant tossing and turning, disrupting her rest. Consequently, I found myself relegated to the couch. Resorting to alcohol became a regular occurrence, partly to numb the discomfort of the couch but also as a means of coping with my grief.
We barely conversed, even though she mentioned marriage counseling, I rebuffed the idea, convinced it wouldn't benefit us. Frequently, I'd discover her in tears, cradling the sonogram of our daughter, yet I would quietly withdraw, allowing her solitary moments of sorrow. She had her unique methods of grieving, just as I had mine.
"I can't keep doing this, we're drowning in debt, and you're just pushing us further into it with every bottle." She pointed to the glass in my hand.
"Oh, come on! I work hard for us, I deserve to unwind a bit!" In a moment of animated expression, I inadvertently spilled some of my beverage onto the floor.
"Unwind? You call draining our savings and neglecting our future 'unwinding'!?"
"Look, just let me sleep in my own bed tonight."
She crossed her arms, and for a moment, silence enveloped us before she finally spoke.
"I just—I feel like I'm living with a stranger." Her eyes begin to shimmer with emotion.
"I'm here, aren't I? What more do you want from me?!" My voice rising in volume.
She attempted to delicately take my drink away, her touch then shifting to gently grasp my hand. "I want us to be a team again, not just two people sharing a bed."
But the moment I felt her touch, I instinctively shoved her hands away from me. "We haven't been a 'team' since we lost—" My voice quivered, then exploded into rage. "You pushed me out! You did this! You don't talk to me about anything anymore! Just get the hell out!" I pointed to the door.
I stood in the open doorway, watching her car pull out of the driveway. With a final sip, I closed the door behind me. Met with silence, I sensed the weight of tension hanging heavy in the air. Deciding one more bourbon was in order, I made my way to the kitchen, intent on pouring myself one last drink. In a bid to ensure a restful night, I opted to accompany my indulgence in alcohol with a hefty dosage of sleeping pills. A reckless choice, I'm aware, but perhaps death was in fact the ultimate form of slumber. I settled onto the couch, flicking through channels until my libation was drained. Feeling sufficiently relaxed, I decided it was time for bed. Ascending the stairs, I stumbled and collapsed onto the master bedroom's mattress. Sleep enveloped me swiftly that night, yet trouble was never far behind.
I recall waking during the night and noticing that the hallway light remained illuminated. It struck me as odd since I distinctly remember switching it off before retiring to bed. However, given my inebriated state from the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed, I surmised that I must have simply forgotten. I'd just get up and switch it off, but a wave of unease washed over me. Despite my intentions, I found myself paralyzed, trapped within my own body once again. I found myself transfixed on the door, illuminated by the soft glow seeping in from the hallway. In that moment, I discerned a shadowy figure lurking behind the door.
I hoped it was my wife, but a gut feeling told me otherwise; this time felt different, suffocated by an eerie malevolence. The doorknob rattled violently, as if something were struggling to open it. Yet, amidst the noise I caught a sinister snicker. The relentless jiggling of the doorknob reached a fever pitch, threatening to wrench it free from its socket at any instant. Then, as abruptly as it began, the tumult ceased, leaving an ominous silence hanging in the air. The door then creaked open with a slow, foreboding motion.
A sinister, shapeless presence loomed in the doorway, defying gravity as it hovered above the ground, its shadowy form exaggerated by the eerie glow seeping in from the hallway. I whimpered, struggling to stir my limbs in a futile attempt to awaken my body, but they responded only with slight twitches. My gaze remained fixed on the form before me, immobilized by fear. Suddenly, a sinuous appendage extended from the specter's face, resembling a long, black tentacle. It elongated and snaked toward me, prompting me to instinctively shut my eyes. Sensing its proximity, I remained frozen, an icy chill grazed my forehead, jolting me awake in an instant. Sleep eluded me for the rest of the night, so I opted for an early morning, brewing a pot of coffee to chase away the lingering unease.
For the following weeks, my routine remained monotonous: work, microwave dinner, then numbness induced by sleeping pills and bourbon until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I received a text from my mother-in-law stating that my wife wanted to reconcile, but insisted on therapy and my attendance at AA meetings. I refused, firmly convinced that all I desired was to reclaim my bed, and that her reaction was excessive. I contended that the alcohol provided comfort, a gesture I hadn't received from her in quite some time. My mother-in-law and wife were both displeased with my response; it became apparent that divorce was now the inevitable solution.
At this juncture, I experienced sleep paralysis on a daily basis, even in the absence of the entity. Each night, I would awaken multiple times, unable to move, only freeing myself to find dread awaiting the next episode upon returning to sleep. There was one rare night when I slept soundly, only to be abruptly awakened by a late-night call from an old friend. We had a bond stretching back to our middle school days, and were inseparable back then. However, this call wasn't one of nostalgia; it was about money. He needed a bailout for his mortgage, promising a swift repayment.
I moved to the edge of my bed, frustration mounting as I started to rub my forehead. "I can't, I just can't right now, I need to get back to sleep good—"
He interrupted me. "Please, I don't want to lose the house."
I found myself raising my voice in frustration as irritation crept in. It appeared he was wholly incapable of learning from his mistakes. "Look, it isn't my responsibility to bail you out every time you're in trouble!"
"I know, I know, please, at least do it for Eli, Chelsea left me all alone and it's been hard man." His voice starting to crack.
My voice raising to a near scream; "He isn't my responsibility either! You should have been careful! I told you she wasn't good for you and you didn't listen! Sort your own shit out from now on!"
I ended the call and slammed the phone onto my nightstand. So much for a good night's rest, thanks a lot, friend.
As my life spiraled further into chaos, I realized I needed to explore solutions beyond relying on alcohol and sleeping pills to combat sleep paralysis. Perhaps a spiritual approach was necessary. While I knew my mother would be pleased with this consideration, I'm certain what I had in mind would be vehemently discouraged. My mother firmly believed in the existence of demons, warning against interacting with them outside of 'God's protection'. Perhaps she was right, but I grew desperate for a solution. At this stage, I was willing to do anything for peace of mind, regardless of the consequences. So, I concocted a masterful plan:
I'd simply ask it what it would take to make it stop.
Each morning was fraught with dread, pondering whether the entity would manifest itself. I ensured to kickstart my day with a potent drink, maintaining a steady buzz throughout, perhaps to stave off any wavering doubts about my decision. My patience bore fruit one fateful night as I found myself immobilized once more.
This marked the initial instance when the entity directly addressed me, and its words seared into my memory with chilling permanence. It uttered abhorrent, repulsive, unfathomable insults about me, branding me a failure, devoid of worth, as insignificant as a microbe. It dissected my existence, critiquing my choices, appearance, and demeanor with a cruelty I had never encountered. It seemed to possess an uncanny ability to strike at the core of my being, as if it wielded a weapon honed to annihilate my spirit. And then, its merciless laughter echoed relentlessly.
In that moment, I recognized it as my opportunity to retort. However, the barrage of insults stoked a fire within me, igniting a fury that overpowered my intentions. What did this entity presume to know about me? It was entirely mistaken, and that infuriated me. Against my better judgment, fueled by indignation, I deviated from my plan and impulsively blurted out: "What's so damn funny?!"
As the words echoed in my mind, the laughter abruptly ceased, leaving behind an eerie silence. Relief flooded through me as I dared to hope that I had put an end to the ordeal. Yet, my premature celebration was cut short when an indescribable dread enveloped me. A black ichor oozed onto the floor beside my bed, signaling the beginning of a hellish spectacle. From the viscous sludge, a dark figure emerged, coated in sticky tar, yet defying gravity as it ascended, hovering above the ground.
Above me, it loomed, its weighty presence palpable as thick sludge cascaded onto the bed, it halted directly over me. Its head inclined, scrutinizing me with unseen gaze. Tears welled in my eyes, hot and unrestrained, as I braced for the inevitable embrace of death. The figure gradually descended, its feet pressing into my chest with an icy chill coursing through me. As its waist aligned with my sternum, a frigid sensation enveloped me. With a swift motion, it plunged its hand into my chest, seizing my heart, and darkness consumed my senses.
I felt a terrifying pull downward, as if gravity itself had gone haywire. My stomach churned with a sickening weightlessness, reminiscent of a plummeting elevator. As my descent abruptly halted, the sound of wind rushing in my ears gave way to a sudden explosion—a resounding burst, resembling the opening of a parachute. That's when I sensed something coiling around my waist, though invisible to my eyes. Desperate to break free, I reached out, only to recoil in horror as my fingers brushed against scaly, rough skin.
Simultaneously, the air filled with the echoing beat of what seemed like enormous wings, while I experienced the unsettling sensation of being lifted and dropped. Though I had a suspicion about what gripped me, disbelief held me back from fully acknowledging it. So, resigned, I surrendered to my captor's will, allowing them to transport me to an unknown destination. As the darkness yielded, a faint glow emerged beneath us—a jagged line emanating an eerie orange-red light. The creature descended, revealing a sight that churned my stomach: bubbling lava. Its faint glow barely illuminated what seemed to be a cavern.
As I descended further into the cavern's depths, the beast veered close enough for me to sense the searing warmth of the lava beneath my feet. Gradually, our descent stabilized, and my gaze shifted forward, revealing a massive door-like structure. Its design echoed the grandeur of ancient Gothic architecture, adorned with pointed arches and intricate buttresses. The edifice appeared crafted from a peculiar variety of marble, possessing a beauty tinged with an unsettling aura. Its construction defied convention, evoking a sense of unease; never before had anything been wrought in such a manner.
As the creature descended once more, carrying me firmly, we passed through the doorway, revealing the true scale of the chamber. Beyond the threshold, a vast expanse unfolded, illuminated by a solitary spherical light source, casting an unsettlingly dim glow upon a colossal, otherworldly mechanism. It resembled a colossal pillar, stretching upward into the darkness of the cavern, its details obscured by the dim light. Within its intricate workings, gears, wheels, and chains rotated at a languid pace. Amidst this mechanical labyrinth, my attention was drawn to a swirling mass of gray at the base of the mechanism, slowly undulating. The beast appeared to be steering us directly toward it.
As we drew nearer, we sailed past what appeared to be a platform, upon which perched a colossal beast. Its form resembled that of a massive reptilian creature, akin to what one might envision as a dinosaur. Yet, it stood upright on two legs, its powerful limbs chained firmly to the platform. With each short, sharp inhalation, it unleashed a deafening roar that reverberated through every fiber of my being. I couldn't help but notice the protrusion of its jugular vein, roughly the size of my upper thigh, expanding with each thunderous cry. As we approached the swirling mass of gray, a sudden wave of horror washed over me as I comprehended its true nature.
A sea of people.
I observed that they were all bound together by chains, encircling their arms, legs, and necks. These chains converged at the towering pillar, linking each individual to the mechanism. The mass of people moved in a circular motion, driving the turning of the cogs. Their pallid complexion suggested an absence of life, as if all vitality had been drained from them. Their agonized screams pierced the air, mouths devoid of tongues. I witnessed an individual collapse to their knees, only to be forcefully yanked upright by some unseen power, rest was an elusive notion in this place. To my horror, amidst the throng of young adults and the elderly, I saw children swept along by the relentless current of the crowd.
As the creature positioned me amidst the multitude, I pleaded desperately, but it was futile; the chains had already ensnared me. With each movement of the mass of people, I felt the tug on my own chain, pressed in on all sides without an inch of space to spare. The towering figures around me obscured any view beyond their heads, leaving me engulfed in a sea of bodies.
My voice pierced the chaotic symphony of screams, rising in a desperate plea for escape.
"Please! I don't belong here! I just wanted to sleep, this is a mistake!"
As I cried out, the orb of light began to shift, seemingly in response to my desperate appeals. As it drew closer and closer, a sense of dread gripped me. Hovering ominously above, it revealed itself as a grotesque monstrosity, casting a sickly glow that chilled me to the bone. I fought the overwhelming urge to collapse, my knees weakening with each passing moment. What loomed overhead defied any attempt at human description; it resembled a cluster of intertwining tubes, swirling and spiraling in a mesmerizing dance that transcended the bounds of reality. Bathed in a sickly blue light that pulsed like molten lava beneath its tendrils.
The light wrought a profound transformation within me, granting a clarity of self-awareness unlike anything I had ever known. In its piercing illumination, I was confronted with the raw truth of my being, stripped of illusion or denial. It was a sobering revelation, an awakening to the most authentic understanding of myself I had ever experienced.
I belonged here.
I had systematically driven away my friends, neglecting their presence and refusing to open up to them. Even my own mother's attempts at connection felt burdensome, our conversations reduced to mere obligations. But perhaps the greatest tragedy lay in the chasm that had formed between my wife and me—a divide entirely of my own making. I was the architect of my own downfall, responsible for the ruin of my life, with no one else to blame but myself. Every word the entity had uttered about me held a painful truth.
From this vantage point, my life appeared almost sweet in retrospect, bathed in the stark light of self-awareness. Yet, any semblance of hope quickly dissolved, for in this desolate realm, hope found no foothold, no sanctuary to thrive.
With my head bowed low, I trudged forward, the weight of my chain pulling me inexorably onward. In a moment of unprecedented vulnerability, I found myself offering a prayer. Despite my awareness that it would likely go unanswered, I embraced the grim reality of my fate, accepting it with a heavy heart.
God, have mercy on me…
Suddenly the sound of chains breaking shattered the air as I was yanked upward with astonishing velocity. In a sudden blur, the scene below shrank rapidly beneath me. The rush of wind buffeted me, and I sensed another presence, an arm wrapped around my waist. Clutching onto it tightly, I braced myself as the cavern's light faded into absolute darkness, squeezing my eyes shut against the unknown.
With a jolt, my rapid ascent came to an abrupt halt, my back colliding with something soft. Gradually, I realized I was back in the familiarity of my own bed. At the foot of the bed stood a figure, its features obscured by a radiant glow emanating from its form, resembling molten glass. The brilliance bathed the entire room in an ethereal light. For a fleeting moment, we locked gazes, suspended in a silent exchange. Then, as swiftly as it had appeared, the figure began to ascend, leaving my room cloaked once more in shadows.
I sat in silence for a while, grappling with the enormity of my experience. To dismiss it as a mere nightmare or hallucination would be a gross understatement; whatever transpired felt hauntingly more vivid and tangible than my current reality. It would take me months of introspection and contemplation to begin to make sense of it all, to reconcile the surreal with the mundane, and to find a semblance of peace within myself.
Although the experience didn't trigger an immediate transformation, its impact lingered, nudging me towards a path of change. Despite my ongoing struggle with alcohol addiction, I made a conscious decision to seek help. I began prioritizing regular hangouts with my best friend and even accompanied my mom to a few church visits. While I remained uncertain about my own connection to religion, witnessing her joy brought a sense of fulfillment that warmed my heart. In making her happy, I found a newfound source of happiness within myself.
As time passed, a sense of progress gradually infused my life. Achieving a year of sobriety marked a significant milestone on my journey, celebrated amidst the supportive community of AA. Even my wife took notice of my efforts towards self-improvement, leading us to embark on marriage counseling together. Before long, her return to our home signaled a hopeful new chapter in our relationship.
Not a trace of sleep paralysis had haunted me since that fateful night when I was guided from the depths of despair. I'm not entirely sure if it was an angel, or God, but whatever it was, it spared me, and for that, I'm grateful. And now, the most joyous news of all: my wife and I are expecting our first child next week. The doctors assure us of her perfect health, filling us with anticipation and gratitude. As for her name, I already have the perfect one in mind:
Grace

My wife and I met her family (sister-in-law and husband) over the weekend in Seattle. They live in Atlanta and flew in for a mini-vacation. We decided to stay in a hotel together as they admitted to being a bit nervous about being in a “city they didn’t know”. They are in their 30s. I suspected they were really looking for us to do a lot of the mental load of the trip. This would be confirmed later.
My sister in law is slow. One of the slowest people I’ve ever met. She takes her sweet time and on numerous occasions has almost missed flights, been late to appointments, whatever. She takes nearly an hour to do her makeup every morning and another 20 to get dressed. (My wife also loves makeup. Takes her 20 minutes max to toss together a look plus clothes.)
Sister-In-Law’s husband always waits and doesn’t rush her. As does most her family so she holds up entire events on her schedule.
We had an afternoon boat cruise tour on Saturday at 3:30pm we had booked and wanted to get up, see the city before settling onto the boat. We all agreed to be up and out the door at 9:30 AM. I told them that we were out the door by 9:30 AM and if they were moving a bit slower, the could meet up with us. Cue a mini glower from sister in law but no comment.
Saturday morning my sister in law wakes up at 8:50am and begins her pokey routine. Everyone is waiting as she groggily lays out her makeup and then turns on a YouTube video to watch for entertainment. I was already irritated but we did say 9:30 AM so maybe a miracle would happen.
We got to 9:32 AM and she was just beginning her eyes. Wife and I left telling them to let us know when they left and we’d drop the location. I could already see a visible pout growing on sister in law but ignored it.
Wife and I went to Pike Place, fucked around and had a blast. By 1 PM we still had not heard from them despite checking in. 2:30 we text and say to meet at the pier as the boat does not wait for late arrivals.
Lo and behold, they make it to the pier.
Boat has no food or drinks. Instant whining from sister in law who says “they haven’t eaten all day”. I was confused. Apparently, they stayed in the hotel until we texted them to get to the pier. Literally sister in law took 1.5 hours and then they just fucked around in the room until they had to get to the pier. They ate after the tour and then whined about how “everything was closed.” It was past 6pm by then!
Later that evening, sister in law and hubby told us they were upset we had “abandoned them in a strange city”. I told them it is not my job to be their travel guide and mom. They live in a big city and can figure out how to feed themselves or get places. Sister in law said they were hoping we’d show them around as we live in the area. I countered with “we told you where to meet us! You had the money and ability to UBER to us!” Nope. They wanted us to wait until sister in law had finished her makeup routine and then (we) find a spot to eat and create the itinerary.
Needless to say, next morning the slow makeup routine was back. We left to go home before she got to the lips.
AITAH for leaving them in a hotel and ruining their trip?

(No audio snippet)
Hi, this song has been in the back of my mind for 10+ years now and it still annoys me that I cannot at all find the song, or at least the video that it was in. At this point, I don't even care if the song is any good, I just want this mystery to be put to rest finally.
I was only young when I came across it (most likely younger than 10), so any chance of me still having the video saved somewhere is impossible.
The video: It was a gameplay video on YouTube of NFS Underground 2. If I remember correctly, the video was a short compilation of different race tracks.
The song: The only lyric I recall is as follows "Are you satisfied? Are you satisfied? Are you satisfied? 'Cause I'm not". This lyric is sung in an ascending pattern. The vocalist is a British man with a deeper than average voice from what I recall. I vaguely remember the lyrics before this one talking about how his wife cheated on him, ruined the family or something of a similar vain. I remember the song being a typical 2000s, heavy rock song with a touch of grunge to it.
Now, you would think that since it was a long time ago, my memory might be playing tricks on me, but I'm not sure that's the case, as my memory of this song and video and not changed at a for as long as I can remember.

• I have checked the NFS Underground 2 soudtrack
• I have inserted the lyrics in to a few websites that claim to be able to find the song, but that didn't work
• Searching up titles similar to that of what was showcased in the video on YouTube and Google.

I've been very upset after finding out my wife cheated on me with my best friend. Started going gym and trying to look after myself more and just live in the moment, and I've been able to think a lot more clearly now. And I realise I was a shit.
It was my first ever relationship, I was jealous of her success when she started doing well at work, I was jealous that she had a relationship before me. And I became a workaholic to 1. Provide for "us" (not me) and 2. To feel "better" than her. I did crazy shit no one else does to advance my career, but the risks I made crashed and burned, and she left me after I had a year long depressive phase.
To get a decent example, at its worst was in 2021 where I

• Filmed 5 feature length movies
• Released 5 albums (made entirely by me)
• Kept up a YouTube channel
• Worked odd jobs and other freelance shit

Every day I was doing constant zoom calls, texting, emails, meetings, I'd be texting plans for shoots whilst taking a crap. I think of all the time she wanted to just spend time with me and I saw it as another task to tick off my fucking list. It used to annoy me being on dates because I'd be thinking "I need to do x, y, z, and ABC". Being the hypocrite I am I went out to see friends and whilst I did a bit of work I didn't have this same feeling
I had a dream today where I opened a door and we were on a rooftop car park and she was there, more gorgeous than ever, she looked even better than she did on our wedding. And we talked a bit and made up, but as we asked each other questions, she stopped answering mine and walked off silent, and I chased her down the stairs, through endless corridors until she got into a brand new SUV with her new boyfriend (who looks just like me) and her new friends and drive off. I woke up so confused unsure where the dream ended and reality began.
It set a lot into perspective, I didn't love her I loved working. And now I have no logistical reason to work that hard so now I do fuck all all day (well, I made 150 songs but apart from that, not bragging I just think my sense of scale is fucked).
I've spent so long trying to be the better person that I never took the time to analyse myself outside the context of comparison to another individual.

My wife and I traveled from San Diego to see Kill Tony Live at the YouTube theater and when I say that this show was AMAZING, I’m talking the crowd, the guests, the flow, everything went perfectly!! I see what people say on here but when you’re live, it’s a totally different beast and you can’t say shit if you haven’t come out 👏👏 s/o to the production team and Tony for putting on such a fantastic show 🙌🎉🙏

At 8:55 last night we received the best mother's day present imaginable with the birth of our daughter. She came via an emergency c-section after the induction didn't take (dilated from 3cm to 4cm in 8 hours), mum had developed a fever from a possible infection, and babies heart rate was 180+.
He was born at a tiny 2.65kg and was breathing rapidly. She had to be taken straight to a capsule where the hooked her up to a heart rate monitor and an IV. Seeing her laying there with tubes and wires coming out of her was heartbreaking.vthankfullu after a few hours of observation they were satisfied enough to release her.
I'm sitting here typing this while my wife is asleep on the bed and my beautiful 17 hour old baby girl is sound asleep in my arms.
I know I haven't posted much, but this sub has been a huge source of comfort for me over the last few months so thank you. I've never been happier to unsubscribe to a subreddit!