What happens if you crush ambien
Kurtistown
2019.01.26 00:43 talk-fast Kurtistown
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2013.01.13 05:46 Occassional_Troll r/nononono
A sub for videos of impending doom. This is where you get to watch the lead-up to when the actual doom happens.
2016.06.02 11:45 inXiL3 Nextcloud
Nextcloud is an open source, self-hosted file sync & communication app platform. Access & sync your files, contacts, calendars and communicate & collaborate across your devices. You decide what happens with your data, where it is and who can access it! If you have questions for use in a company or government at scale (>1000 users), do yourself a favor and contact Nextcloud itself - this community is mostly home-user focused!
2024.06.09 17:04 gh0uliah AITAH for being mad at my crush
I(16F) has a crush on this guy (16M) and i had it for quite some time now. we are both friends too and we both like each other too. he liked me in freshman year too and now we are in our junior year of hs. before i liked him i had a bf of 9 months (17M). they so happened to be friends, but not best friends just close. last week (may 28) at school he realized i liked him and shot me a text asking if it was true or not, i confessed and said ofc but also backing it up with "its cool if you dont like me back bc of ..... being my ex" he ended up texting me for the rest of the night which had me confused at first but i realized why he did that. he had texted my ex asking for "permission" to start talking to me and even dating. my ex said yes and he didnt have a problem with it cause he was even talking to someone himself, but also did tell my crush he wanted to talk to me one last time before we get serious which i thought it was weird knowing why we broke up (ill get into it soon). after my crush had asked permission we started talking the next day and we've been talking from may 28th all the way to yesterday.
we would be on the phone all night all day, texting, talking, hanging out tg, etc it was going really well we were feeling each other so well we really wanted to date each other we even kissed a couple of times. he treated me like his girlfriend even though we were only just talking. he already was calling me cute names like "love" and "boo" whenever i had called him or anything.
monday, me and my crush was hanging out in one of the practice rooms of our school since school is basically over and we were just talking, i was laying on his lap while we was talking. one of his friends/ex best friend came in and said hi to him and then said "hi to the girl on ....." after he said that my ex had walked in the room, they didnt notice it was me until i moved my phone from my face to see who it was and my ex left the room looking vivid. i ended up leaving so i can meet my friends for lunch and we seperated. as i walked out my ex had gotten mad and threw a hissy fit as if hes 5 years old throwing chairs and stands in the band room. my crush had walked in asking if everyone was cool and my ex started yelling at him saying how its either they fight and argue, he gets my crush ex on me to fight me, or my ex himself comes up to me and confronts me because i was doing all this "on purpose" after my ex had said that my crush brought up the fact that my ex had madeout with his ex and said that was just as wrong and my ex said he didnt care from the start that he did that since they were already done and then my ex proceeded to say that he still had feelings for me, i dont believe him at all. after they exchanged their words my ex started going around telling people that ill be back with him, how i cant be without him, how if he wanted he could get me back and i dont even want my crush i only want him. their whole friend group says my ex is being weird over this especially since he fumbled and broke up with me.
later that same week my ex keeps saying stuff to my ex and even went as far of having ppl telling him to get back with his ex bc they look better tg and leave me alone. my ex has been saying things to my crush making him change his mind about me a lot. the other day we decided to take it slower and continue to talk more since summer is coming up and we wouldnt be bothered if we start dating later than now. give it a couple of days and my crush calls me saying he didnt want to date anymore, i said cool bc we just agreed once again to be in a talking stage. the next day he texts me that we need to talk and its about my ex. i was confused because once i tried to call and text him he didnt answer for that whole day and ended up ghosting me. i called the next day and we talked but he didnt bring up what was wrong so i hung up and went to sleep out of frustation. i woke up to a text saying we should stay friends and i was heartbroken and vivid he really let my ex change his opinion on me in a span of a week all because he cant mature. i said that he basically let my ex win and how thats crazy and he brought up the fact that that is still his friend at the end of the day which i understand, but that is the same ex that he knows cheated on me, played me multiple times, manpiulated me, used over ppl to make me jealous, and lied to me constantly in those 9 months we tg and was also the same one who said he didnt care that he did things with ur ex. my crush knows he did all these things to me too because i would always tell him and cry because we were close. and i gave my ex multiple chances and months to come back and he now wants to come back when i finally moved on? cool.
instead of saying anything else to my crush i decided to just stop texting him and only respond with "ok" im pretty mad like ive been throwing shots at him on ig and everything and hes been seeing them too. all this because my ex said something to him that he wont even tell me what was said , school is literally over in 4 days why does it matter so much? he graduates this year! its not like hes going to hold this grudge for so long he has to get it over it like how he told me to get over him. some people are saying im overreacting and others are saying its cool for me to be mad since i really like this guy and EVERYONE can see he likes me back too. ik this aint really a crazy AITA but i feel like i am
submitted by gh0uliah to AITAH [link] [comments]
we would be on the phone all night all day, texting, talking, hanging out tg, etc it was going really well we were feeling each other so well we really wanted to date each other we even kissed a couple of times. he treated me like his girlfriend even though we were only just talking. he already was calling me cute names like "love" and "boo" whenever i had called him or anything.
monday, me and my crush was hanging out in one of the practice rooms of our school since school is basically over and we were just talking, i was laying on his lap while we was talking. one of his friends/ex best friend came in and said hi to him and then said "hi to the girl on ....." after he said that my ex had walked in the room, they didnt notice it was me until i moved my phone from my face to see who it was and my ex left the room looking vivid. i ended up leaving so i can meet my friends for lunch and we seperated. as i walked out my ex had gotten mad and threw a hissy fit as if hes 5 years old throwing chairs and stands in the band room. my crush had walked in asking if everyone was cool and my ex started yelling at him saying how its either they fight and argue, he gets my crush ex on me to fight me, or my ex himself comes up to me and confronts me because i was doing all this "on purpose" after my ex had said that my crush brought up the fact that my ex had madeout with his ex and said that was just as wrong and my ex said he didnt care from the start that he did that since they were already done and then my ex proceeded to say that he still had feelings for me, i dont believe him at all. after they exchanged their words my ex started going around telling people that ill be back with him, how i cant be without him, how if he wanted he could get me back and i dont even want my crush i only want him. their whole friend group says my ex is being weird over this especially since he fumbled and broke up with me.
later that same week my ex keeps saying stuff to my ex and even went as far of having ppl telling him to get back with his ex bc they look better tg and leave me alone. my ex has been saying things to my crush making him change his mind about me a lot. the other day we decided to take it slower and continue to talk more since summer is coming up and we wouldnt be bothered if we start dating later than now. give it a couple of days and my crush calls me saying he didnt want to date anymore, i said cool bc we just agreed once again to be in a talking stage. the next day he texts me that we need to talk and its about my ex. i was confused because once i tried to call and text him he didnt answer for that whole day and ended up ghosting me. i called the next day and we talked but he didnt bring up what was wrong so i hung up and went to sleep out of frustation. i woke up to a text saying we should stay friends and i was heartbroken and vivid he really let my ex change his opinion on me in a span of a week all because he cant mature. i said that he basically let my ex win and how thats crazy and he brought up the fact that that is still his friend at the end of the day which i understand, but that is the same ex that he knows cheated on me, played me multiple times, manpiulated me, used over ppl to make me jealous, and lied to me constantly in those 9 months we tg and was also the same one who said he didnt care that he did things with ur ex. my crush knows he did all these things to me too because i would always tell him and cry because we were close. and i gave my ex multiple chances and months to come back and he now wants to come back when i finally moved on? cool.
instead of saying anything else to my crush i decided to just stop texting him and only respond with "ok" im pretty mad like ive been throwing shots at him on ig and everything and hes been seeing them too. all this because my ex said something to him that he wont even tell me what was said , school is literally over in 4 days why does it matter so much? he graduates this year! its not like hes going to hold this grudge for so long he has to get it over it like how he told me to get over him. some people are saying im overreacting and others are saying its cool for me to be mad since i really like this guy and EVERYONE can see he likes me back too. ik this aint really a crazy AITA but i feel like i am
2024.06.09 16:46 Battlesmith707 Dispossessed Homebrew Archetypes: Warden Prince, Cogsmith, Ranger, Alms Matron
So, having created my Runesmith Archetype as well as a Khazalid Runework mechanic, I'm going to build four more archetypes, each representing an aspect of Duardin society. It is strongly encouraged that you check out my Runesmith archetype, because at least two of these archetypes start with runes.
First we have the Warden Prince - a frontline fighter who also has some room to dabble in leadership or diplomacy skills.
Then there's the Cogsmith - a character with high crafting who is primarily focused on ranged damage using black powder weaponry, but also gets bonuses when operating war machines or artillery.
After that is the Ranger - a versatile class that specializes in stealth and ranged combat, but also has the tools needed to be a decent frontline fighter in a pinch.
Lastly there is the Alms Matron. The Alms Matron is a name I pulled from a novel called Chronicles of the Wanderer. From what I gather they're basically the Priestesses of Valaya. The Alms Matron is primarily a support class who can use Miracles - I've taken a bunch of thematic miracles from Alarielle, Grimnir, and Grungni, and reflavoured them around Valaya. She also has access to a number of skills and talents that may serve the party outside of combat.
All-in-all I feel like I've laid the groundwork to have a relatively balanced well-rounded party consisting of nothing but Dispossessed.
WARDEN PRINCE
Warden Kings are the rulers of the Dispossessed Clans, and like most Kings, they require heirs. A Warden Prince is the son of a Warden King. From a young age they are trained to fight and to lead, with the expectation that their father shall not live forever. However only one of these children - the eldest son - can take their father's throne. Which then raises the question of what the remainder will do. Some serve the new King as generals and advisors, while others are married off to prominent figures within the clan, or to different clans entirely.
Others become Soulbound.
Many young Dispossessed Princes (and Princesses) who find themselves low in the line of succession leap at the chance to join a Binding. It is an opportunity to earn glory for themselves and their clan without forever remaining in the shadow of their older siblings, and it is also a respectable way to avoid being assigned an unwanted marriage. It also provides a chance to travel the Mortal Realms and potentially even explore the lost Karaks - many Soulbound Warden Princes dream of the day they can say they were the first to set foot in their clan's ancestral home in over five centuries.
A Warden Prince is a trained and well-equipped fighter, who due to the length of Duardin lifespans may already have decades of experience under their belt. Not only can they fight, but they can also lead - having been raised with the expectation that they will play a commanding role in either the court or the armies of their father or one of their brothers. It is possible that a Warden Prince may even have experience leading Throngs into battle. Beyond that, Warden Princes are also royalty, which may prove to be a boon when interacting with the aristocracy of other factions. Thus they are a welcome addition to any Binding of Order.
While travelling with the Binding, a Warden Prince may insist that they explore any lost Karaks they discover if it does not interfere with the Binding's other obligations. The Prince may wish to either scout them out for possible reclamation, or recover lost treasures. The Prince may appear enthusiastic about this at first, but once they finally walk the empty halls they may find themselves becoming depressed, melancholy, or even angry as they are struck by the full reality of their people's fall from glory.
Attributes
Talents (Choose 3)
Skills (7 XP)
COGSMITH
The Ironweld Arsenal - the great union of Duardin and Human Engineering. As Engineers of the Ironweld Arsenal, Cogsmiths are vital to the Cities of Sigmar war machine. Working closely with their human counterparts, they design, build, maintain, and repair the machinery, vehicles, artillery, and firearms wielded by Sigmar's mortal armies.
It is perhaps little surprise then that many Cogsmiths are happy to become Soulbound. An extended lifespan aside and ample opportunity to test out their new inventions aside, they are also well-accustomed to working alongside and learning from other Order factions. The Cogsmiths for their part bring a lot to the table - they are expert tinkerers, able to help repair and even improve the weapons of their Binding. They are well-versed in war machines and vehicles, able to get more out of them than most. A Cogsmith is also a formidable combatant in their own right, possessing experience with a wide array of firearms and war marchines.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Three)
Skills (9XP)
You are a member in good standing of the Ironweld Arsenal. Whenever you are operating a war machine, a vehicle, or a weapon mounted on a vehicle, and you are required to make a Ballistics Skill, you may choose to either gain double dice from your Training in Ballistics Skill or substitute your Crafting Skill instead - whichever one is more likely to yield a better result.
In addition to this, as an Endeavour and with 50D worth of crafting materials you can spend one week tinkering with a handheld non-Aetheric firearm to improve it. With three attempts, if you pass an Extended Crafting Test of DN 5:8, you may apply one of the following upgrades:
DISPOSSESSED RANGER
When asked to describe the natural gifts of the Duardin, few would ever think to list stealth as one of them. But it is - if they put their mind to it. Rangers fulfill a vital niche in Duardin armies - that of scouts, skirmishers, infiltrators, and sharpshooters. In the days of the Khazalid Empire, it was the rangers who kept borders clear of Monsters, Greenskins, and Beastmen. It was the rangers who would not only warn settlements of incoming attack, but also harry and harass the foe by any means necessary while the Throngs were mustered. Even today long after the Khazalid Empire's fall, the Dispossessed Clans have find use for rangers. Indeed, it was the rangers who weathered the Fall the easiest, for they were accustomed to wandering without a home.
The life of a Ranger is that of a wanderer and outcast - spending weeks or even months traversing the wilds, and camping under the open stars. The only Duardin who would voluntarily seek out this life are either outcasts or free-spirits, independently-minded with a strong sense of wanderlust. It is a thankless job - their greatest deeds are committed far from any settlement or army, and therefore go unwitnessed. Most Duardin find their lifestyle and tactics disturbing, and thus, treat them with (usually unwaranted) suspicion.
It is little wonder then that a Ranger would be eager to become Soulbound. As a Soulbound, they are more likely to be working with people who have fewer qualms about their tactics, and may even appreciate their skillset. They can spend greater periods of time travelling, being deployed throughout the Mortal Realms in direct service to a higher power, with no obligation of a clan to return to. It is also possible that the Ranger may have a Criminal past they are attempting to escape from. Members of a Binding may also find a Ranger's company preferable to that of other Duardin, for Rangers tend to be less hidebound than most of their Dispossessed kin, while still retaining a strong sense of duty and integrity.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Four)
Skills (9 XP)
This hooded cloak is dyed to blend in with the environment. Choose one of the Terrain types listed in the Hunter Talent (it does not need to be the same one you picked as part of the Talent.) While adventuring in this terrain, you can double the dice you receive from Training in Stealth. As a week-long Endeavour you can spend 50D to change the dye.
ALMS MATRON
Little is known about the Alms Matrons - also known as the Priestesses of Valaya, Duardin Ancestor Goddess of Hearth and Home. The birth rate of Duardin females was already low to begin with, and most Dispossessed Clans are fiercely protective of their women as a result. Even more confounding is the worship of the dead goddess Valaya. Despite all this, Priestesses of Valaya are an integral part of Dispossessed society - primarily serving as healers and mediators. They wield immense influence over the internal politics of their clans.
It is not impossible that, in less hidebound clans, Duardin of other genders may come to serve Valaya in the same capacity. But it would be regarded as unusual.
Valaya's fate remains a mystery. Some say she is dead, others say she is in hiding. Some say she died during the Great Betrayal, others say her death came long before that - possibly during the last days of the World-That-Was. Some say she will return, as the Fyreslayers believe Grimnir will, while others have given up any hope of this. In either case, it takes far more than the death of their God to make a Duardin abandon their faith.
Additional puzzlement comes in the fact that some Alms Matrons have been known to invoke Miracles of their goddess. Scholars can only speculate as to why this is - perhaps it is due to the power of their faith, or maybe Valaya does still exist in some form. Humans and Aelven scholars have also put forward the idea that perhaps Alarielle or Grungni are behind this.
It is exceedingly rare for an Alms Matron to become a Soulbound, primarily because it is difficult to convince a servant of Hearth and Home to leave both of those things behind. But it can happen, especially if there are other Duardin in the Binding or the Binding's goals align with the Clan's. Though not well-suited to direct combat, Alms Matrons can serve their Bindings in other useful ways - as healers, diplomats, scholars, and priests.
Attributes
Talents (Choose Four)
Skills (9 XP)
MIRACLES OF VALAYA
(Note: These Miracles are ultimately just reflavoured Miracles of Grungni, Grimnir, and Alarielle from the Core Rulebook and Champions of Order.)
Hearth Queen's Balance
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
You can heal the wounds of another by taking on a portion of their suffering. A creature you touch can reduce the severity of one Wound. In exchange, you must take a Minor Wound or increase the severity of a Wound you already have.
Blessing of Valaya
Target: Zone
Range: Long
Duration: Permanent
You infuse the earth with the essence of life, causing plants in an area to grow and bloom. This can be used to bolster crops and revitalise a land tainted by Chaos. You can also choose to shape the growth into simple structures, such as growing winding roots and vines into a ladder or small bridge, or creating cover for you and your allies. In combat, these simple structures can form bridges between Zones, or can be used to give one Zone the Cover Trait
The plants and wildlife created by this Miracle are permanent but will decay naturally if left unattended in an inhospitable environment.
Wrath of the Hearthqueen
Cost: 1 Mettle
Target: Zone
Range: Medium
Duration: Sustained
You fill an area with uncomfortable searing heat, scalding and disorienting any who trespass there. Choose a Zone within Medium Range. That Zone gains the Difficult Terrain and Minor Hazard Traits. Additionally, creatures entering or starting their turn in the Zone must make a DN 6:1 Body (Might) Test or be Restrained until the start of their next turn. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend an additional Mettle to increase the Complexity of this Test by 1, to DN 6:2. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Heat of the Hearth
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Instant
A wave of heat washes over your zone, comforting your allies and scalding your foes. Make a 5:1 Soul (Devotion) test.
Find Strength in Her Absence
Target: 1
Range: Long
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
Choose an allied target within long range. While the target has no allies in the same Zone, its Melee and Accuracy increase by two steps and it gains +2 Armour. If an ally enters the targetâs Zone, this Miracleâs effect is suppressed until the ally leaves the Zone again. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Hearth Queen's Endurance
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Sustained
Make a DN 6:1 Soul (Devotion) Test. Whenever you or your allies within Short Range suffer Damage caused by fire or heat, reduce the Damage by 1 for each success. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Cauterise
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
Heat can be used as a tool of healing. Make a DN 4:1 Soul (Devotion) Test as you place a Holy Symbol of Valaya on a wounded ally. They recover Toughness equal to 1 plus the number of successes. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend a Mettle to add your Soul to the Toughness recovered.
Comforting Embers
Target: Allies within range
Range: Short
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
You call forth a rain of glowing embers that fill your allies with warmth and encourage them to press on. When you use this Miracle, allies within range increase their Speed by one step and ignore Difficult Terrain until the beginning of your next turn, though they cannot Flee or Retreat until the Miracle ends. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
submitted by Battlesmith707 to AgeOfSigmarRPG [link] [comments]
First we have the Warden Prince - a frontline fighter who also has some room to dabble in leadership or diplomacy skills.
Then there's the Cogsmith - a character with high crafting who is primarily focused on ranged damage using black powder weaponry, but also gets bonuses when operating war machines or artillery.
After that is the Ranger - a versatile class that specializes in stealth and ranged combat, but also has the tools needed to be a decent frontline fighter in a pinch.
Lastly there is the Alms Matron. The Alms Matron is a name I pulled from a novel called Chronicles of the Wanderer. From what I gather they're basically the Priestesses of Valaya. The Alms Matron is primarily a support class who can use Miracles - I've taken a bunch of thematic miracles from Alarielle, Grimnir, and Grungni, and reflavoured them around Valaya. She also has access to a number of skills and talents that may serve the party outside of combat.
All-in-all I feel like I've laid the groundwork to have a relatively balanced well-rounded party consisting of nothing but Dispossessed.
Warden Kings are the rulers of the Dispossessed Clans, and like most Kings, they require heirs. A Warden Prince is the son of a Warden King. From a young age they are trained to fight and to lead, with the expectation that their father shall not live forever. However only one of these children - the eldest son - can take their father's throne. Which then raises the question of what the remainder will do. Some serve the new King as generals and advisors, while others are married off to prominent figures within the clan, or to different clans entirely.
Others become Soulbound.
Many young Dispossessed Princes (and Princesses) who find themselves low in the line of succession leap at the chance to join a Binding. It is an opportunity to earn glory for themselves and their clan without forever remaining in the shadow of their older siblings, and it is also a respectable way to avoid being assigned an unwanted marriage. It also provides a chance to travel the Mortal Realms and potentially even explore the lost Karaks - many Soulbound Warden Princes dream of the day they can say they were the first to set foot in their clan's ancestral home in over five centuries.
A Warden Prince is a trained and well-equipped fighter, who due to the length of Duardin lifespans may already have decades of experience under their belt. Not only can they fight, but they can also lead - having been raised with the expectation that they will play a commanding role in either the court or the armies of their father or one of their brothers. It is possible that a Warden Prince may even have experience leading Throngs into battle. Beyond that, Warden Princes are also royalty, which may prove to be a boon when interacting with the aristocracy of other factions. Thus they are a welcome addition to any Binding of Order.
While travelling with the Binding, a Warden Prince may insist that they explore any lost Karaks they discover if it does not interfere with the Binding's other obligations. The Prince may wish to either scout them out for possible reclamation, or recover lost treasures. The Prince may appear enthusiastic about this at first, but once they finally walk the empty halls they may find themselves becoming depressed, melancholy, or even angry as they are struck by the full reality of their people's fall from glory.
Attributes
- Body: 4
- Mind: 2
- Soul: 2
Talents (Choose 3)
- Ancestral Grudge (Champions of Order)
- Armour Expert (Champions of Order)
- Bulwark
- Crushing Blow
- Diplomat
- Duelist (Champions of Order)
- Intimidating Manner
- Lead The Way (Champions of Order)
- Opportunist
- Rending Blow
- Shield Mastery
Skills (7 XP)
- Athletics
- Awareness
- Determination
- Dexterity
- Fortitude
- Guile
- Intimidation
- Intuition
- Lore
- Might
- Reflexes
- Weapon Skill
- Choose Between: Warhammer and Shield, Battleaxe and Shield, Greataxe, or Greathammer.
- Common Heavy Armour.
- One Weapon Rune or Shield Rune (see my Runesmithing Class for more information.)
- A map of one of the eight Mortal Realms, displaying all known Karaks within it (including yours) as well as the passages between them. The map is a copy of a more ancient work, dated during the height of the Khazalid Empire. It may have other landmarks on it as well (such as Realmgates) but it dates back to the Age of Myth and therefore may be unreliable. The map is neatly folded and stored in a well-crafted airtight case of wood and metal.
- 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis.
The Ironweld Arsenal - the great union of Duardin and Human Engineering. As Engineers of the Ironweld Arsenal, Cogsmiths are vital to the Cities of Sigmar war machine. Working closely with their human counterparts, they design, build, maintain, and repair the machinery, vehicles, artillery, and firearms wielded by Sigmar's mortal armies.
It is perhaps little surprise then that many Cogsmiths are happy to become Soulbound. An extended lifespan aside and ample opportunity to test out their new inventions aside, they are also well-accustomed to working alongside and learning from other Order factions. The Cogsmiths for their part bring a lot to the table - they are expert tinkerers, able to help repair and even improve the weapons of their Binding. They are well-versed in war machines and vehicles, able to get more out of them than most. A Cogsmith is also a formidable combatant in their own right, possessing experience with a wide array of firearms and war marchines.
Attributes
- Body: 2
- Mind: 4
- Soul: 1
Talents (Choose Three)
- Combat Ready
- Combat Repairs
- Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
- Creator (Champions of Order)
- Forbidden Knowledge
- Gunslinger
- Incidential Incendiaries (Steam and Steel)
- Point Blank Range
- Quick Reload
- Tinkerer (Steam and Steel)
- Savvy
- Scholar
Skills (9XP)
- Arcana
- Awareness
- Ballistic Skill
- Crafting
- Determination
- Dexterity
- Guile
- Lore
- Reflexes
- Choose between: Rifle, or Blunderbuss, or two Repeater Pistols.
- Choose between: Warhammer or Repeater Pistol.
- Common Medium Armour.
- Smith's Tools.
- Engineering Plans and Schematics.
- 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis
You are a member in good standing of the Ironweld Arsenal. Whenever you are operating a war machine, a vehicle, or a weapon mounted on a vehicle, and you are required to make a Ballistics Skill, you may choose to either gain double dice from your Training in Ballistics Skill or substitute your Crafting Skill instead - whichever one is more likely to yield a better result.
In addition to this, as an Endeavour and with 50D worth of crafting materials you can spend one week tinkering with a handheld non-Aetheric firearm to improve it. With three attempts, if you pass an Extended Crafting Test of DN 5:8, you may apply one of the following upgrades:
- Improved Sights: When using this firearm, the wielder's accuracy increases by one step.
- Longer Barrel: The firearm's range is extended by one zone.
- Double Barrel: The firearm now has a second barrel. When you make an attack with this weapon, you may either treat it as a dual-wielding attack and split your dice pool, or as a single attack that does 2 extra damage. Unfortunately, whatever weapon you apply this to also gains the Reload trait if it does not have it already.
- Armour-Piercing: The firearm gains the Penetrating Trait.
- Armour-Breaking: The firearm gains the Rend Trait.
When asked to describe the natural gifts of the Duardin, few would ever think to list stealth as one of them. But it is - if they put their mind to it. Rangers fulfill a vital niche in Duardin armies - that of scouts, skirmishers, infiltrators, and sharpshooters. In the days of the Khazalid Empire, it was the rangers who kept borders clear of Monsters, Greenskins, and Beastmen. It was the rangers who would not only warn settlements of incoming attack, but also harry and harass the foe by any means necessary while the Throngs were mustered. Even today long after the Khazalid Empire's fall, the Dispossessed Clans have find use for rangers. Indeed, it was the rangers who weathered the Fall the easiest, for they were accustomed to wandering without a home.
The life of a Ranger is that of a wanderer and outcast - spending weeks or even months traversing the wilds, and camping under the open stars. The only Duardin who would voluntarily seek out this life are either outcasts or free-spirits, independently-minded with a strong sense of wanderlust. It is a thankless job - their greatest deeds are committed far from any settlement or army, and therefore go unwitnessed. Most Duardin find their lifestyle and tactics disturbing, and thus, treat them with (usually unwaranted) suspicion.
It is little wonder then that a Ranger would be eager to become Soulbound. As a Soulbound, they are more likely to be working with people who have fewer qualms about their tactics, and may even appreciate their skillset. They can spend greater periods of time travelling, being deployed throughout the Mortal Realms in direct service to a higher power, with no obligation of a clan to return to. It is also possible that the Ranger may have a Criminal past they are attempting to escape from. Members of a Binding may also find a Ranger's company preferable to that of other Duardin, for Rangers tend to be less hidebound than most of their Dispossessed kin, while still retaining a strong sense of duty and integrity.
Attributes
- Body: 3
- Mind: 3
- Soul: 1
Talents (Choose Four)
- Alley Cat
- Backstab
- Combat Ready
- Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
- Criminal
- Hit and Run
- Iron Stomach
- Loyal Companion
- Observant
- Orientation
- Patient Strike
- Point-Blank Range
- Quick Reload
- Sever
- Sleight of Hand
- Vanish
Skills (9 XP)
- Athletics
- Awareness
- Ballistics Skill
- Beast Handling
- Dexterity
- Fortitude
- Intuition
- Nature
- Reflexes
- Stealth
- Survival
- Weapon Skill
- Great Crossbow
- Choose between: Greataxe or two Handaxes.
- Common Light Armour
- Ranger Cloak (see below)
- Flask of Duardin Amberwhisky
- 132 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis
This hooded cloak is dyed to blend in with the environment. Choose one of the Terrain types listed in the Hunter Talent (it does not need to be the same one you picked as part of the Talent.) While adventuring in this terrain, you can double the dice you receive from Training in Stealth. As a week-long Endeavour you can spend 50D to change the dye.
Little is known about the Alms Matrons - also known as the Priestesses of Valaya, Duardin Ancestor Goddess of Hearth and Home. The birth rate of Duardin females was already low to begin with, and most Dispossessed Clans are fiercely protective of their women as a result. Even more confounding is the worship of the dead goddess Valaya. Despite all this, Priestesses of Valaya are an integral part of Dispossessed society - primarily serving as healers and mediators. They wield immense influence over the internal politics of their clans.
It is not impossible that, in less hidebound clans, Duardin of other genders may come to serve Valaya in the same capacity. But it would be regarded as unusual.
Valaya's fate remains a mystery. Some say she is dead, others say she is in hiding. Some say she died during the Great Betrayal, others say her death came long before that - possibly during the last days of the World-That-Was. Some say she will return, as the Fyreslayers believe Grimnir will, while others have given up any hope of this. In either case, it takes far more than the death of their God to make a Duardin abandon their faith.
Additional puzzlement comes in the fact that some Alms Matrons have been known to invoke Miracles of their goddess. Scholars can only speculate as to why this is - perhaps it is due to the power of their faith, or maybe Valaya does still exist in some form. Humans and Aelven scholars have also put forward the idea that perhaps Alarielle or Grungni are behind this.
It is exceedingly rare for an Alms Matron to become a Soulbound, primarily because it is difficult to convince a servant of Hearth and Home to leave both of those things behind. But it can happen, especially if there are other Duardin in the Binding or the Binding's goals align with the Clan's. Though not well-suited to direct combat, Alms Matrons can serve their Bindings in other useful ways - as healers, diplomats, scholars, and priests.
Attributes
- Body: 1
- Mind: 3
- Soul: 3
Talents (Choose Four)
- Any Miracle of Valaya.
- A Warm Meal
- Acute Sense
- Diplomat
- Forbidden Knowledge
- Observant
- Scholar
- Silver Tongue
- Strong Soul
- Caregiver (Champions of Order)
- Compelling Music (Champions of Order)
- Stirring Voice (Champions of Order)
- Alchemist (Steam and Steel)
Skills (9 XP)
- Arcana
- Awareness
- Determination
- Devotion
- Dexterity
- Entertain
- Guile
- Intuition
- Lore
- Medicine
- Reflexes
- Theology
- Quarterstaff
- Pistol
- Common Light Armour
- Two Consumable Runes
- Holy Symbol of Valaya
- 175D to either keep or spend on whatever adventuring gear you wish.
(Note: These Miracles are ultimately just reflavoured Miracles of Grungni, Grimnir, and Alarielle from the Core Rulebook and Champions of Order.)
Hearth Queen's Balance
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
You can heal the wounds of another by taking on a portion of their suffering. A creature you touch can reduce the severity of one Wound. In exchange, you must take a Minor Wound or increase the severity of a Wound you already have.
Blessing of Valaya
Target: Zone
Range: Long
Duration: Permanent
You infuse the earth with the essence of life, causing plants in an area to grow and bloom. This can be used to bolster crops and revitalise a land tainted by Chaos. You can also choose to shape the growth into simple structures, such as growing winding roots and vines into a ladder or small bridge, or creating cover for you and your allies. In combat, these simple structures can form bridges between Zones, or can be used to give one Zone the Cover Trait
The plants and wildlife created by this Miracle are permanent but will decay naturally if left unattended in an inhospitable environment.
Wrath of the Hearthqueen
Cost: 1 Mettle
Target: Zone
Range: Medium
Duration: Sustained
You fill an area with uncomfortable searing heat, scalding and disorienting any who trespass there. Choose a Zone within Medium Range. That Zone gains the Difficult Terrain and Minor Hazard Traits. Additionally, creatures entering or starting their turn in the Zone must make a DN 6:1 Body (Might) Test or be Restrained until the start of their next turn. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend an additional Mettle to increase the Complexity of this Test by 1, to DN 6:2. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Heat of the Hearth
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Instant
A wave of heat washes over your zone, comforting your allies and scalding your foes. Make a 5:1 Soul (Devotion) test.
- You and your allies within your zone recover one toughness per success.
- Enemies within your zone suffer one damage per success.
Find Strength in Her Absence
Target: 1
Range: Long
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
Choose an allied target within long range. While the target has no allies in the same Zone, its Melee and Accuracy increase by two steps and it gains +2 Armour. If an ally enters the targetâs Zone, this Miracleâs effect is suppressed until the ally leaves the Zone again. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Hearth Queen's Endurance
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Sustained
Make a DN 6:1 Soul (Devotion) Test. Whenever you or your allies within Short Range suffer Damage caused by fire or heat, reduce the Damage by 1 for each success. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Cauterise
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
Heat can be used as a tool of healing. Make a DN 4:1 Soul (Devotion) Test as you place a Holy Symbol of Valaya on a wounded ally. They recover Toughness equal to 1 plus the number of successes. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend a Mettle to add your Soul to the Toughness recovered.
Comforting Embers
Target: Allies within range
Range: Short
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
You call forth a rain of glowing embers that fill your allies with warmth and encourage them to press on. When you use this Miracle, allies within range increase their Speed by one step and ignore Difficult Terrain until the beginning of your next turn, though they cannot Flee or Retreat until the Miracle ends. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
2024.06.09 16:30 Relative-Obscurity I'm blind, and operate an elevator for a living. My passengers keep disappearing.
Last year, when my ten year prison "stint" was finally up, and I re-entered society, I encountered some... obstacles.
Obstacles like.. Lack of upward mobility. Prejudices and stigmas. Wages and earnings lower than the general population. Undesirable and oftentimes dangerous jobs. And lack of protection from wrongful termination.
Not to mention, an already tough job market, and the fact that my parole required that I maintain steady employment, or face re-incarceration.
Which is why, when I finally got a job offer, after six months of aggressive job hunting, I jumped at the opportunity, giving absolutely no fucks as to how I was actually making ends meet.
"Ever operate a freight elevator before?" Mr. Winfred, the manager of "The Cornelius" and my new boss, asked me my first day on the job.
"No, sir." I replied honestly, as I ran my fingers along the doors of the antiquated contraption, the only remaining evidence of the recently renovated luxury building's ancient past.
"Normally these old things aren't used for passengers, but the building's pretentious designers thought it might add a certain charm to its otherwise sterile decor. Which is where you come in." He continued, as I heard him slide open the freight elevator's outside doors...
SLAM!
...Followed by its scissored metal inside doors.
SCREEEECH!
I heard Mr. Winfred step inside and, using my cane, scanned the interior of the rather large elevator, which must have been eight feet by eight feet, and followed him in.
Instantly, my nose was hit with an overpowering, musty scent, like the kind you'd smell in a basement, combined with your grandmother's attic.
He then closed both doors behind us.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Now this here." Mr Winfred added, taking my hand and placing it on the handle of a lever, "Is how you move the elevator from floor to floor. Up for up. Down for down. You'll hear a click when you reach each floor, which will be helpful for someone like yourself." He said, clearly calling attention to the fact that I'm blind.
Someone like myself? I scoffed internally. You ignorant, entitled piece of shit.
Truth is, I've always had a bit of a short fuse. Which I guess, looking back on it, is what got me into prison in the first place.
But in my ten years of incarceration, I was given tools to combat my anger issues. Tools like reminding myself that it was nothing new. Assholes like him were always dropping unintentional microaggressions. It had been something I'd grown used to, and given my probation, wasn't a battle worth fighting.
"Yes sir." I replied through my teeth, as I begrudgingly swallowed my pride.
"Now, why don't you spend today practicing. Our first residents don't move in until tomorrow."
â
In just a matter of a week or so, as the doors of "The Cornelius" opened to its new tenants, I learned pretty much everything I needed to know about the job.
Said tenants were rich. Very rich. And most of them acted as such. Entitled. Obnoxious. Holier than thou. Especially given my own social class. But a few of them weren't so bad, and tipped well.
Mr. Winfred's assistant, Jane, was a lovely human being. Patient, kind, thoughtful, understanding. Especially when compared to both the building's uptight residents, and Mr. Winfred himself. It had been years since I had dated, and the very thought of meeting a partner stressed me out to no end, but if I was to find someone, I hoped she'd be like Jane.
The elevator didn't open on the basement level. As I'd learned countless times, it was possible to go there, but the doors simply wouldn't open.
The old freight itself was finicky as fuck. Stop the lever one second too early, or one second too late, and when the doors open, you're halfway between a floor. But eventually, I got used to it, to the point where most of the building's tenants assumed the role of freight operator had always been my job. And when you're good at your service job, and do it with a smile on your face, the tips start flowing.
And so, all was well for the first couple weeks on the job...
...A seemingly refreshing return to normalcy, after ten long years...
...Until...
...The disappearances started happening.
â
I was just arriving to work one day, when I heard about the first disappearance.
"Have you seen - I mean, have you been in contact with Elizabeth Davis? From room 401?" Mr. Winfred asked, after correcting himself. Something he did often, which continued to annoy me.
"Um." I replied, unsure of where he was going with the question. "Not since yesterday. She got back from work, and I brought her up to the fourth floor. But come to think of it, I don't think she rode the elevator down this morning. Like she usually does."
"Interesting." My boss replied, before continuing. "She disappeared yesterday."
"Disappeared?" I asked.
"Yeah, husband said she never came home last night."
"Hmm. Well I know for certain that I brought her to the fourth floor. Did you check the hallway surveillance footage?"
"Not yet. Unfortunately the building inspector's in today, and I won't have time until tomorrow. Let's hope she just went somewhere, or got lost. In the meantime, keep an eye out - I mean - just, let me know if you hear of anything suspicious."
"Yes sir," I replied, once again resisting the urge to snap on him, before heading for the elevator, where I started the day's shift.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
That day, I did my best to do as Mr. Winfred had asked, and listened carefully for any signs of mischief.
But the day went on, business as usual and by the end of the day, I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary...
...Except... The only thing of note was a difference in Mr. Lawrence's demeanor. The tenant of room 805, he was a salesman, and acted like one. When I say the man could talk, the man could talk. To a point where whenever he was a passenger in the old freight elevator, despite the long ride from floor one to floor eight, I'd rarely have a chance to get a word in.
But this time... was different. This time, Mr. Lawrence entered the elevator chatting away, just as he always did. But about halfway up, he just... stopped talking. And the thing about my job is, if someone chooses to talk or not talk, it's their decision, and none of my business. So I left him alone, and when we reached the eighth floor, I simply said goodnight. To which, he didn't reply.
Must be going through something. I thought to myself, having been unable to truly get a sense of his composure, without being able to see him, before closing the double doors and heading off to help the next passenger.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
â
Later that night, Mr. Winfred called me into his office, and asked me to take a seat beside his assistant, Jane.
"Mr. Owens. Are you aware of the situation that's going on in the building?" He asked, in an interrogating tone.
"Um... yes, you told me about it yesterday. The disappearance, sir." I replied.
"Disappearances now. Plural." He said sternly.
"But... who else?" I asked.
"Mr. Lawrence."
"What happened to him?"
"Well, to be honest, I was hoping you could tell me. Cause much like Ms.Davis, the last place he was seen was going into your elevator."
"What about the cameras in the hallways?"
"I'm afraid that after reviewing the tapes, after stepping into your elevator, neither Ms. Davis, or Mr Lawrence, ever stepped out."
"But that's... not... possible."
"Mr. Owens. I'm going to give you an opportunity. Is there anything you want to tell me? I know you have a sordid past."
"Mr. Winfred!" Jane interjected, clearly offended by his words, and implications.
"Quiet, Jane." He scolded, before continuing. "Answer the question, Mr. Owens."
I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked, so flustered, by what he was implying, that I simply froze.
"Mr. Owens!" He screamed.
"I... I... don't know!" I cried out, as I heard Jane squirm in her seat. "I'm telling you, the last time I heard from either of them, I took them up to their floors. But I'm-"
"You're what! Blind?"
"Well, yes sir. I don't see what goes on inside the elevator. I just let them on and off."
"Mr. Owens. If they got on your elevator, and never got off, where could they possibly have gone?"
"I... don't... know." I replied, at this point, wanting to grab him by force, demand that he never speak to me that way again, and scream out my innocence. But my next parole appointment was the following week, so once again, all I could do was just bite my tongue.
Mr. Winfred paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and regained his composure.
"Mr. Owens, I could go to the police now. And that would be very bad for someone like you."
Fuck. He's right. I thought to myself, realizing, that if he went to the police, and I was even remotely suspected of what was going on in the building, it was back to prison for me.
"But lucky for you," He continued, "There are things going on in the building that I wouldn't want to bring unwanted attention to. And for that reason, I have decided not to go to the police... yet. But consider this a warning. And know, that I have a repairman coming first thing tomorrow morning to install a security camera inside the freight elevator, so I can see what exactly it is that you're doing in there."
I had know idea how to react to Mr. Winfred's continued accusations. So I simply remained silent.
"Now get out of here and go home! We'll reconvene on this tomorrow." He said dismissively, before Jane walked me out of the room, down the hall, and outside the building, where I planned to return home for the night.
â
Fifteen minutes later, we were at a bar down the street, where Jane apparently frequented.
"But where could they possibly have gone?" I asked her, my hands trembling at both the thought of people disappearing in the elevator, and that it was happening under my watch.
"Thing is," Jane said, as she finished her beer. "There's something you should know about the building."
""The Cornelius"?"
"No, from before it was called that. It used to be a factory of some kind."
"Is that what Mr. Winfred was talking about when he said that there were things going on in the building? That he didn't want to bring unwanted attention to?"
"Well, yes and no. Yes, in a sense, that Mr. Winfred cut some corners, and rather than fully renovate the entire warehouse, he simply walled off entire sections of the old structure. Like the basement."
"And no?"
"No, in a sense, that even Mr. Winfred doesn't know what's really going on in the elevator. Sure, it'd be easy to pin it on you, especially with your criminal record - no offense... but even he knows that it's probably something... else."
"Something else?"
"See, that's where things get hazy. Because no one knows what exactly went on at the factory, before it became "The Cornelius." But rumors have it... it was laboratory of some kind, and some fucked up shit went on inside there."
"Like what?"
"That, my friend. I don't know. But what I do know is... I better be getting to bed."
"Fair enough. Well, thanks for the drink, and the support." I said with a smile, as we made our way out of the bar.
"Yeah, don't let Mr. Winfred get to you. And try not to worry too much."
â
Contrary to Jane's suggestion, that night I worried... a lot. About the disappearances, what might be causing them, whatever may have gone on in the factory, and most importantly, about everything getting pinned on me.
I couldn't fall asleep, tossing and turning in bed as my mind raced. And each time I finally passed out, I'd wake up in a panic attack, my heart pounding, short of breath and in a cold sweat.
But it didn't stop there. The uncomfortable feeling of terror and fear, accompanied by the vibrating sensation of adrenaline pumping through my body, remained well into the next morning, when I stepped back into the elevator, terrified by what might be going on inside there.
Please don't leave me alone in this fucking thing. I thought to myself.
And within a matter of minutes, my prayers were answered.
"How goes it?" The surveillance installation worker called out, his cheery disposition contrary to mine.
"Um... not too bad." I replied, lying through my teeth, as he stepped inside.
But after a minute or two of sharing the elevator with him, my fears lessened and my body relaxed, comforted by the positive conversation, and the metallic, clinking sounds of the installation.
Everything's okay. The doors are open. And he's talking. I thought to myself.
But eventually, the man finished installing the camera, and began wrapping up the job.
"Well, that's it! Camera's all installed and running now." He called out. "Let's just take the elevator for a spin and make sure we don't lose the signal."
"Yes, of course." I replied, before reaching for the double doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
..And moving the lever up.
We started moving.
"Fascinating job, I must say, elevator operator. But I suppose you could say the same for mine."
"Pays the bills." I replied, feigning a chuckle.
If he's here, and he's talking, then I'm safe. I continued to reassure myself.
But a few minutes into our ascent, just like Mr. Lawrence... the man... suddenly stopped talking.
"Alright, looks like it's working fine. We can head back down and-"
SILENCE.
"Hello?" I asked.
But he didn't respond.
Fuck. I thought to myself, realizing that whatever caused Ms. Davis, and Mr. Lawrence, and seemingly now the repairman to disappear, could still be in the elevator with me.
Standing there, shaking, sweat rolling down my brow, I backed myself into the corner of the elevator, as I reached for the lever, pressed it down, and the elevator began to make its descent back to the ground floor.
When I finally reached the lobby...
DING!
I scrambled to open the doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
...And darted out, gasping for air, expecting to find a safe haven.
But instead, all I heard was the sound of Mr. Winfred's voice. "Where is the repairman?"
â
A few minutes later, I was once again sitting in Mr. Winfred's office, next to Jane, this time attempting to explain what had happened.
"...And then he stopped talking! Just like Mr. Lawrence."
"You know what, Mr. Owens. I'm tired of your excuses. And now that we have a working camera in the elevator, it's time to find out what's really going on inside there." He threatened, as I heard him clicking away on his computer, clearly reviewing the footage.
"Please do!" I cried out, "I'm telling you, it's not me."
That's when... Mr. Winfred, and Jane, both went silent.
"Hello?" I called out, unable to see what was really going on. Given the fact that my passengers had recently been going silent, the thought crossed my mind that they too had disappeared, but I could still hear their breathing in the room. Breathing, that sounded like it was increasing rapidly...
...Until they broke the silence.
"Oh... my..." Jane said, struggling to catch her breath.
"That can't be. Let me rewind the tape." Mr. Winfred mumbled, the most scared I had ever heard him.
"What is it?" I asked, as they seemingly played back the video.
I would later find out from Jane that the footage would show myself and the repairman in the elevator, as a slithering, grotesque, humanoid figure, suddenly climbed down from the roof of the elevator, wrapped it's slimy arms around the repairman, then somehow hopped back out of the elevator, and pulled the man up with it. Leaving me standing there, completely unaware of what had just happened.
But in that moment, Mr. Winfred must have realized the... complications associated with reporting such a bizarre phenomenon, and instead decided to finally pin it on me.
"Mr. Owens, you shouldn't have done that!" He cried out.
"Mr. Winfred, what are you talking about?" Jane asked, "You and I just watched the same footage."
That's when I heard him drag a file to his computer's trash and delete it.
CRUNCH.
"Stay out of this, Jane. This man has killed three people in the elevator. I knew I shouldn't have hired an ex con!"
"But sir, I didn't-" I tried to reply, before he interrupted.
"Mr. Owens, I'm picking up the phone, and calling the police. I'd suggest you just stay put."
"But Mr. Winfred, I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!"
"Yes, is this 911? I'm the manager of "The Cornelius" and I'd like to report three murders in my building."
"We'd better go." I heard Jane say, as I felt her place her hand on my shoulder.
"And yes, I have reason to believe the killer is our elevator operator, an ex convict, who is sitting right in front of me."
"Come on, let's go!" Jane screamed, as she tugged at my shirt, I hopped up from my seat, and she led me out of the office, down the hall, and into... of all places... the old freight elevator, as she explained to me what she had seen on the surveillance tape.
â
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Take us to the basement!" Jane called out.
"But the basement is walled off." I replied.
"Just do it!" She insisted, before I moved the lever down and the elevator began to move.
I spent the ride catching my breath, until we finally reached the basement level.
DING!
"Now what?" I asked.
But Jane didn't reply.
"Jane?"
Oh fuck. I thought to myself. The monster.
That's when I turned to the center of the freight elevator, where Jane had been standing, reached out into the unknown...
...And sure enough, felt the cold, slimy, skin of the creature, wrapped around Jane's face, preventing her from making a sound.
Not knowing what else to do, I gripped its disgusting appendages with both hands, and slowly pried it off Jane, as she let out a...
...SCREAM..
...And the monster's arm quickly slithered away, back up through the roof of the freight.
Jane dropped to the ground, coughing violently.
"You okay?" I asked her.
But rather than responding, she simply handed me something...
....I opened my fist, to find a pair of keys.
"The lock above the lever. Unlock it." She instructed, still coughing, as I felt around the lever, found the lock, inserted the key, and unlocked it.
CLICK.
"The doors. They should open now." Jane said, as she stood up, having finally caught her breath.
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
â
We arrived in the dark basement to smell the same, musty odor from the freight elevator.
After her eyes adjusted and she scanned our surroundings, Jane informed me that this floor looked nothing like the other eight, newly renovated floors, with their modern feel and minimalistic designs.
Instead, the basement was a window into the building's former self, when it had been a factory. Its walls brick and crumbling, its floors concrete and cracked.
And scattered everywhere, were the dusty remnants of laboratory equipment. Devices, machines, tanks, most of which were destroyed, or disconnected, or both.
"What went on down here?" I asked.
"From the looks of it, something inhumane," Jane said, after she picked up a few tattered pieces of paper from one of the lab stations, and told me what was on it.
"The first page looks like some sort of a diagram, of a man being pumped with chemicals from tanks. And the second, a drawing... of the creature from the elevator. In pencil beside it, someone appears to have labeled it "The Silencer.""
Silencer. I thought to myself, before remembering that the creature seemed to always silence the sounds of its victims, and to have been repulsed by Jane's scream. At the same time, it had never bothered me in the elevator, as I tended to stand there in silence.
But before I could dwell too much on the thought, Jane interrupted.
"If you don't mind my asking. What did you go to prison for in the first place?" She asked.
"It's okay," I said, surprised she had waited this long to ask, before contemplating the best way to explain what had happened. "âCause of my temper. Some guy was being a dick on the train platform. We got into a scuffle, and he accidentally fell into the tracks."
"Over what? Did he insult you? Your blindness?"
"No, I'm afraid not." I replied, "We were drunk... and arguing over... a basketball game, of all things. He was... my friend."
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
Jane put her hand on my shoulder, and we stood there in silence for a moment...
...Until suddenly, we heard the sound of Mr. Winfred, and the police approaching, as they ran down what must have been a hidden set of stairs from the ground level to the basement.
"Come on, follow me!" Jane called out, as she took me by the hand and led me into what I'd soon discover was a labyrinthian network of old passages, while the police and Mr. Winfred both called out to us.
"This is the police! Put your hands on your head, and turn yourself in!"
"You're trapped, Mr. Owens! Just confess your crimes, and you'll simply go back to jail!"
We continued to run deeper and deeper into the passages, as our pursuers began to close in on us, their footsteps getting closer... and closer... and closer...
...Until suddenly, the sound of their footsteps was replaced by that of...
...SCREAMING...
...And they suddenly went...
...SILENT.
"What the?" Jane whispered.
"The creature." I whispered. "It must be down here."
That's when we hatched a plan.
â
Having found our way out of the labyrinth and back to the entrance of the laboratory, where we had arrived in the old freight elevator, I found myself standing alone, waiting, as I nervously tapped my cane on the basement floor, Jane having gone off on her own.
That's when I heard Mr. Winfred emerge from the passages, alone, and call out to me.
"Mr. Owens! There's nowhere to run! Even your beloved elevator is gone. You're cornered." He taunted, as I backed towards the elevator and tapped at it with my cane, its doors open, its shaft empty.
"What did you say?" I asked, encouraging him to talk louder.
"What are you, deaf now too?" The ignorant old man snapped back. "I said, you have nowhere to run!"
"I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me," I said sarcastically, pointing to my ears. "Can you repeat that again?"
That's when Mr. Winfred began approaching and screamed, "You worthless, ex con! I knew I shouldn't have hired you in the first place! And now, you'll go back to where you belong!"
But suddenly...
...Mr. Winfred went SILENT...
...As the creature must have wrapped its slimy tentacles around his face.
That's when I seized the opportunity, ran over to Mr. Winfred, gripped the cold body of the creature, which was indeed wrapped around him, turned, and flung them both behind me, into the hollow elevator shaft...
SLAM!
...Before hitting the "Up" button on the wall, and calling the freight elevator down.
Suddenly, the gears of the elevator above could be heard turning away, and the machine began its quick descent down.
"Mr. Owens, no!" Mr. Winfred cried out, clearly now separated from the creature.
I froze for a moment, as my mind raced back to the night of the tragic accident, when my friend called out to me from the train tracks, and I was unable to save him in time...
....Until I eventually snapped myself out of it, and willed myself to save Mr. Winfred, no matter how evil the asshole's intentions may have been, reaching out my hand out, and pulling him up and out of the elevator, just as the freight car came crash down to the basement level.
SLAM!
CRUNCH!
"RAAAAAAAARRRRR!" The slimy beast cried out, as it was crushed under the old elevator's weight.
DING!
The basement fell SILENT for a moment, until...
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
...Jane stepped out and said, "Going up?"
But the joke was met was silence. I simply stood there, shaking, as Mr. Winfred did the same, clearly shocked by the events that had just occurred.
â
A few weeks later, after the authorities had done a full sweep of the basement, and cleared out all traces of the building' old laboratory, I found myself once again back in the manager's office.
"Mr. Owens. This is the last time I'm gonna tell you this!" Jane joked, as I heard her recline back in what was once Mr. Winfred's chair, having been named interim manager since her boss's recent and... ironic... prison sentencing.
"Who's the convict now?" I said with a smile, before making my way out of the office.
"Wait." Jane said, stopping me at the door. "You sure you want to go back to operating the elevator? After all that's happened? Like I said, the doorman job is yours if you want it."
"What's the worst that could happen?" I replied with a smile. "There's another one of those creatures in the building somewhere?"
submitted by Relative-Obscurity to nosleep [link] [comments]
Obstacles like.. Lack of upward mobility. Prejudices and stigmas. Wages and earnings lower than the general population. Undesirable and oftentimes dangerous jobs. And lack of protection from wrongful termination.
Not to mention, an already tough job market, and the fact that my parole required that I maintain steady employment, or face re-incarceration.
Which is why, when I finally got a job offer, after six months of aggressive job hunting, I jumped at the opportunity, giving absolutely no fucks as to how I was actually making ends meet.
"Ever operate a freight elevator before?" Mr. Winfred, the manager of "The Cornelius" and my new boss, asked me my first day on the job.
"No, sir." I replied honestly, as I ran my fingers along the doors of the antiquated contraption, the only remaining evidence of the recently renovated luxury building's ancient past.
"Normally these old things aren't used for passengers, but the building's pretentious designers thought it might add a certain charm to its otherwise sterile decor. Which is where you come in." He continued, as I heard him slide open the freight elevator's outside doors...
SLAM!
...Followed by its scissored metal inside doors.
SCREEEECH!
I heard Mr. Winfred step inside and, using my cane, scanned the interior of the rather large elevator, which must have been eight feet by eight feet, and followed him in.
Instantly, my nose was hit with an overpowering, musty scent, like the kind you'd smell in a basement, combined with your grandmother's attic.
He then closed both doors behind us.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Now this here." Mr Winfred added, taking my hand and placing it on the handle of a lever, "Is how you move the elevator from floor to floor. Up for up. Down for down. You'll hear a click when you reach each floor, which will be helpful for someone like yourself." He said, clearly calling attention to the fact that I'm blind.
Someone like myself? I scoffed internally. You ignorant, entitled piece of shit.
Truth is, I've always had a bit of a short fuse. Which I guess, looking back on it, is what got me into prison in the first place.
But in my ten years of incarceration, I was given tools to combat my anger issues. Tools like reminding myself that it was nothing new. Assholes like him were always dropping unintentional microaggressions. It had been something I'd grown used to, and given my probation, wasn't a battle worth fighting.
"Yes sir." I replied through my teeth, as I begrudgingly swallowed my pride.
"Now, why don't you spend today practicing. Our first residents don't move in until tomorrow."
â
In just a matter of a week or so, as the doors of "The Cornelius" opened to its new tenants, I learned pretty much everything I needed to know about the job.
Said tenants were rich. Very rich. And most of them acted as such. Entitled. Obnoxious. Holier than thou. Especially given my own social class. But a few of them weren't so bad, and tipped well.
Mr. Winfred's assistant, Jane, was a lovely human being. Patient, kind, thoughtful, understanding. Especially when compared to both the building's uptight residents, and Mr. Winfred himself. It had been years since I had dated, and the very thought of meeting a partner stressed me out to no end, but if I was to find someone, I hoped she'd be like Jane.
The elevator didn't open on the basement level. As I'd learned countless times, it was possible to go there, but the doors simply wouldn't open.
The old freight itself was finicky as fuck. Stop the lever one second too early, or one second too late, and when the doors open, you're halfway between a floor. But eventually, I got used to it, to the point where most of the building's tenants assumed the role of freight operator had always been my job. And when you're good at your service job, and do it with a smile on your face, the tips start flowing.
And so, all was well for the first couple weeks on the job...
...A seemingly refreshing return to normalcy, after ten long years...
...Until...
...The disappearances started happening.
â
I was just arriving to work one day, when I heard about the first disappearance.
"Have you seen - I mean, have you been in contact with Elizabeth Davis? From room 401?" Mr. Winfred asked, after correcting himself. Something he did often, which continued to annoy me.
"Um." I replied, unsure of where he was going with the question. "Not since yesterday. She got back from work, and I brought her up to the fourth floor. But come to think of it, I don't think she rode the elevator down this morning. Like she usually does."
"Interesting." My boss replied, before continuing. "She disappeared yesterday."
"Disappeared?" I asked.
"Yeah, husband said she never came home last night."
"Hmm. Well I know for certain that I brought her to the fourth floor. Did you check the hallway surveillance footage?"
"Not yet. Unfortunately the building inspector's in today, and I won't have time until tomorrow. Let's hope she just went somewhere, or got lost. In the meantime, keep an eye out - I mean - just, let me know if you hear of anything suspicious."
"Yes sir," I replied, once again resisting the urge to snap on him, before heading for the elevator, where I started the day's shift.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
That day, I did my best to do as Mr. Winfred had asked, and listened carefully for any signs of mischief.
But the day went on, business as usual and by the end of the day, I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary...
...Except... The only thing of note was a difference in Mr. Lawrence's demeanor. The tenant of room 805, he was a salesman, and acted like one. When I say the man could talk, the man could talk. To a point where whenever he was a passenger in the old freight elevator, despite the long ride from floor one to floor eight, I'd rarely have a chance to get a word in.
But this time... was different. This time, Mr. Lawrence entered the elevator chatting away, just as he always did. But about halfway up, he just... stopped talking. And the thing about my job is, if someone chooses to talk or not talk, it's their decision, and none of my business. So I left him alone, and when we reached the eighth floor, I simply said goodnight. To which, he didn't reply.
Must be going through something. I thought to myself, having been unable to truly get a sense of his composure, without being able to see him, before closing the double doors and heading off to help the next passenger.
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
â
Later that night, Mr. Winfred called me into his office, and asked me to take a seat beside his assistant, Jane.
"Mr. Owens. Are you aware of the situation that's going on in the building?" He asked, in an interrogating tone.
"Um... yes, you told me about it yesterday. The disappearance, sir." I replied.
"Disappearances now. Plural." He said sternly.
"But... who else?" I asked.
"Mr. Lawrence."
"What happened to him?"
"Well, to be honest, I was hoping you could tell me. Cause much like Ms.Davis, the last place he was seen was going into your elevator."
"What about the cameras in the hallways?"
"I'm afraid that after reviewing the tapes, after stepping into your elevator, neither Ms. Davis, or Mr Lawrence, ever stepped out."
"But that's... not... possible."
"Mr. Owens. I'm going to give you an opportunity. Is there anything you want to tell me? I know you have a sordid past."
"Mr. Winfred!" Jane interjected, clearly offended by his words, and implications.
"Quiet, Jane." He scolded, before continuing. "Answer the question, Mr. Owens."
I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked, so flustered, by what he was implying, that I simply froze.
"Mr. Owens!" He screamed.
"I... I... don't know!" I cried out, as I heard Jane squirm in her seat. "I'm telling you, the last time I heard from either of them, I took them up to their floors. But I'm-"
"You're what! Blind?"
"Well, yes sir. I don't see what goes on inside the elevator. I just let them on and off."
"Mr. Owens. If they got on your elevator, and never got off, where could they possibly have gone?"
"I... don't... know." I replied, at this point, wanting to grab him by force, demand that he never speak to me that way again, and scream out my innocence. But my next parole appointment was the following week, so once again, all I could do was just bite my tongue.
Mr. Winfred paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and regained his composure.
"Mr. Owens, I could go to the police now. And that would be very bad for someone like you."
Fuck. He's right. I thought to myself, realizing, that if he went to the police, and I was even remotely suspected of what was going on in the building, it was back to prison for me.
"But lucky for you," He continued, "There are things going on in the building that I wouldn't want to bring unwanted attention to. And for that reason, I have decided not to go to the police... yet. But consider this a warning. And know, that I have a repairman coming first thing tomorrow morning to install a security camera inside the freight elevator, so I can see what exactly it is that you're doing in there."
I had know idea how to react to Mr. Winfred's continued accusations. So I simply remained silent.
"Now get out of here and go home! We'll reconvene on this tomorrow." He said dismissively, before Jane walked me out of the room, down the hall, and outside the building, where I planned to return home for the night.
â
Fifteen minutes later, we were at a bar down the street, where Jane apparently frequented.
"But where could they possibly have gone?" I asked her, my hands trembling at both the thought of people disappearing in the elevator, and that it was happening under my watch.
"Thing is," Jane said, as she finished her beer. "There's something you should know about the building."
""The Cornelius"?"
"No, from before it was called that. It used to be a factory of some kind."
"Is that what Mr. Winfred was talking about when he said that there were things going on in the building? That he didn't want to bring unwanted attention to?"
"Well, yes and no. Yes, in a sense, that Mr. Winfred cut some corners, and rather than fully renovate the entire warehouse, he simply walled off entire sections of the old structure. Like the basement."
"And no?"
"No, in a sense, that even Mr. Winfred doesn't know what's really going on in the elevator. Sure, it'd be easy to pin it on you, especially with your criminal record - no offense... but even he knows that it's probably something... else."
"Something else?"
"See, that's where things get hazy. Because no one knows what exactly went on at the factory, before it became "The Cornelius." But rumors have it... it was laboratory of some kind, and some fucked up shit went on inside there."
"Like what?"
"That, my friend. I don't know. But what I do know is... I better be getting to bed."
"Fair enough. Well, thanks for the drink, and the support." I said with a smile, as we made our way out of the bar.
"Yeah, don't let Mr. Winfred get to you. And try not to worry too much."
â
Contrary to Jane's suggestion, that night I worried... a lot. About the disappearances, what might be causing them, whatever may have gone on in the factory, and most importantly, about everything getting pinned on me.
I couldn't fall asleep, tossing and turning in bed as my mind raced. And each time I finally passed out, I'd wake up in a panic attack, my heart pounding, short of breath and in a cold sweat.
But it didn't stop there. The uncomfortable feeling of terror and fear, accompanied by the vibrating sensation of adrenaline pumping through my body, remained well into the next morning, when I stepped back into the elevator, terrified by what might be going on inside there.
Please don't leave me alone in this fucking thing. I thought to myself.
And within a matter of minutes, my prayers were answered.
"How goes it?" The surveillance installation worker called out, his cheery disposition contrary to mine.
"Um... not too bad." I replied, lying through my teeth, as he stepped inside.
But after a minute or two of sharing the elevator with him, my fears lessened and my body relaxed, comforted by the positive conversation, and the metallic, clinking sounds of the installation.
Everything's okay. The doors are open. And he's talking. I thought to myself.
But eventually, the man finished installing the camera, and began wrapping up the job.
"Well, that's it! Camera's all installed and running now." He called out. "Let's just take the elevator for a spin and make sure we don't lose the signal."
"Yes, of course." I replied, before reaching for the double doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
..And moving the lever up.
We started moving.
"Fascinating job, I must say, elevator operator. But I suppose you could say the same for mine."
"Pays the bills." I replied, feigning a chuckle.
If he's here, and he's talking, then I'm safe. I continued to reassure myself.
But a few minutes into our ascent, just like Mr. Lawrence... the man... suddenly stopped talking.
"Alright, looks like it's working fine. We can head back down and-"
SILENCE.
"Hello?" I asked.
But he didn't respond.
Fuck. I thought to myself, realizing that whatever caused Ms. Davis, and Mr. Lawrence, and seemingly now the repairman to disappear, could still be in the elevator with me.
Standing there, shaking, sweat rolling down my brow, I backed myself into the corner of the elevator, as I reached for the lever, pressed it down, and the elevator began to make its descent back to the ground floor.
When I finally reached the lobby...
DING!
I scrambled to open the doors...
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
...And darted out, gasping for air, expecting to find a safe haven.
But instead, all I heard was the sound of Mr. Winfred's voice. "Where is the repairman?"
â
A few minutes later, I was once again sitting in Mr. Winfred's office, next to Jane, this time attempting to explain what had happened.
"...And then he stopped talking! Just like Mr. Lawrence."
"You know what, Mr. Owens. I'm tired of your excuses. And now that we have a working camera in the elevator, it's time to find out what's really going on inside there." He threatened, as I heard him clicking away on his computer, clearly reviewing the footage.
"Please do!" I cried out, "I'm telling you, it's not me."
That's when... Mr. Winfred, and Jane, both went silent.
"Hello?" I called out, unable to see what was really going on. Given the fact that my passengers had recently been going silent, the thought crossed my mind that they too had disappeared, but I could still hear their breathing in the room. Breathing, that sounded like it was increasing rapidly...
...Until they broke the silence.
"Oh... my..." Jane said, struggling to catch her breath.
"That can't be. Let me rewind the tape." Mr. Winfred mumbled, the most scared I had ever heard him.
"What is it?" I asked, as they seemingly played back the video.
I would later find out from Jane that the footage would show myself and the repairman in the elevator, as a slithering, grotesque, humanoid figure, suddenly climbed down from the roof of the elevator, wrapped it's slimy arms around the repairman, then somehow hopped back out of the elevator, and pulled the man up with it. Leaving me standing there, completely unaware of what had just happened.
But in that moment, Mr. Winfred must have realized the... complications associated with reporting such a bizarre phenomenon, and instead decided to finally pin it on me.
"Mr. Owens, you shouldn't have done that!" He cried out.
"Mr. Winfred, what are you talking about?" Jane asked, "You and I just watched the same footage."
That's when I heard him drag a file to his computer's trash and delete it.
CRUNCH.
"Stay out of this, Jane. This man has killed three people in the elevator. I knew I shouldn't have hired an ex con!"
"But sir, I didn't-" I tried to reply, before he interrupted.
"Mr. Owens, I'm picking up the phone, and calling the police. I'd suggest you just stay put."
"But Mr. Winfred, I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!"
"Yes, is this 911? I'm the manager of "The Cornelius" and I'd like to report three murders in my building."
"We'd better go." I heard Jane say, as I felt her place her hand on my shoulder.
"And yes, I have reason to believe the killer is our elevator operator, an ex convict, who is sitting right in front of me."
"Come on, let's go!" Jane screamed, as she tugged at my shirt, I hopped up from my seat, and she led me out of the office, down the hall, and into... of all places... the old freight elevator, as she explained to me what she had seen on the surveillance tape.
â
SLAM!
SCREEEECH!
"Take us to the basement!" Jane called out.
"But the basement is walled off." I replied.
"Just do it!" She insisted, before I moved the lever down and the elevator began to move.
I spent the ride catching my breath, until we finally reached the basement level.
DING!
"Now what?" I asked.
But Jane didn't reply.
"Jane?"
Oh fuck. I thought to myself. The monster.
That's when I turned to the center of the freight elevator, where Jane had been standing, reached out into the unknown...
...And sure enough, felt the cold, slimy, skin of the creature, wrapped around Jane's face, preventing her from making a sound.
Not knowing what else to do, I gripped its disgusting appendages with both hands, and slowly pried it off Jane, as she let out a...
...SCREAM..
...And the monster's arm quickly slithered away, back up through the roof of the freight.
Jane dropped to the ground, coughing violently.
"You okay?" I asked her.
But rather than responding, she simply handed me something...
....I opened my fist, to find a pair of keys.
"The lock above the lever. Unlock it." She instructed, still coughing, as I felt around the lever, found the lock, inserted the key, and unlocked it.
CLICK.
"The doors. They should open now." Jane said, as she stood up, having finally caught her breath.
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
â
We arrived in the dark basement to smell the same, musty odor from the freight elevator.
After her eyes adjusted and she scanned our surroundings, Jane informed me that this floor looked nothing like the other eight, newly renovated floors, with their modern feel and minimalistic designs.
Instead, the basement was a window into the building's former self, when it had been a factory. Its walls brick and crumbling, its floors concrete and cracked.
And scattered everywhere, were the dusty remnants of laboratory equipment. Devices, machines, tanks, most of which were destroyed, or disconnected, or both.
"What went on down here?" I asked.
"From the looks of it, something inhumane," Jane said, after she picked up a few tattered pieces of paper from one of the lab stations, and told me what was on it.
"The first page looks like some sort of a diagram, of a man being pumped with chemicals from tanks. And the second, a drawing... of the creature from the elevator. In pencil beside it, someone appears to have labeled it "The Silencer.""
Silencer. I thought to myself, before remembering that the creature seemed to always silence the sounds of its victims, and to have been repulsed by Jane's scream. At the same time, it had never bothered me in the elevator, as I tended to stand there in silence.
But before I could dwell too much on the thought, Jane interrupted.
"If you don't mind my asking. What did you go to prison for in the first place?" She asked.
"It's okay," I said, surprised she had waited this long to ask, before contemplating the best way to explain what had happened. "âCause of my temper. Some guy was being a dick on the train platform. We got into a scuffle, and he accidentally fell into the tracks."
"Over what? Did he insult you? Your blindness?"
"No, I'm afraid not." I replied, "We were drunk... and arguing over... a basketball game, of all things. He was... my friend."
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
Jane put her hand on my shoulder, and we stood there in silence for a moment...
...Until suddenly, we heard the sound of Mr. Winfred, and the police approaching, as they ran down what must have been a hidden set of stairs from the ground level to the basement.
"Come on, follow me!" Jane called out, as she took me by the hand and led me into what I'd soon discover was a labyrinthian network of old passages, while the police and Mr. Winfred both called out to us.
"This is the police! Put your hands on your head, and turn yourself in!"
"You're trapped, Mr. Owens! Just confess your crimes, and you'll simply go back to jail!"
We continued to run deeper and deeper into the passages, as our pursuers began to close in on us, their footsteps getting closer... and closer... and closer...
...Until suddenly, the sound of their footsteps was replaced by that of...
...SCREAMING...
...And they suddenly went...
...SILENT.
"What the?" Jane whispered.
"The creature." I whispered. "It must be down here."
That's when we hatched a plan.
â
Having found our way out of the labyrinth and back to the entrance of the laboratory, where we had arrived in the old freight elevator, I found myself standing alone, waiting, as I nervously tapped my cane on the basement floor, Jane having gone off on her own.
That's when I heard Mr. Winfred emerge from the passages, alone, and call out to me.
"Mr. Owens! There's nowhere to run! Even your beloved elevator is gone. You're cornered." He taunted, as I backed towards the elevator and tapped at it with my cane, its doors open, its shaft empty.
"What did you say?" I asked, encouraging him to talk louder.
"What are you, deaf now too?" The ignorant old man snapped back. "I said, you have nowhere to run!"
"I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me," I said sarcastically, pointing to my ears. "Can you repeat that again?"
That's when Mr. Winfred began approaching and screamed, "You worthless, ex con! I knew I shouldn't have hired you in the first place! And now, you'll go back to where you belong!"
But suddenly...
...Mr. Winfred went SILENT...
...As the creature must have wrapped its slimy tentacles around his face.
That's when I seized the opportunity, ran over to Mr. Winfred, gripped the cold body of the creature, which was indeed wrapped around him, turned, and flung them both behind me, into the hollow elevator shaft...
SLAM!
...Before hitting the "Up" button on the wall, and calling the freight elevator down.
Suddenly, the gears of the elevator above could be heard turning away, and the machine began its quick descent down.
"Mr. Owens, no!" Mr. Winfred cried out, clearly now separated from the creature.
I froze for a moment, as my mind raced back to the night of the tragic accident, when my friend called out to me from the train tracks, and I was unable to save him in time...
....Until I eventually snapped myself out of it, and willed myself to save Mr. Winfred, no matter how evil the asshole's intentions may have been, reaching out my hand out, and pulling him up and out of the elevator, just as the freight car came crash down to the basement level.
SLAM!
CRUNCH!
"RAAAAAAAARRRRR!" The slimy beast cried out, as it was crushed under the old elevator's weight.
DING!
The basement fell SILENT for a moment, until...
SCREEEECH!
SLAM!
...Jane stepped out and said, "Going up?"
But the joke was met was silence. I simply stood there, shaking, as Mr. Winfred did the same, clearly shocked by the events that had just occurred.
â
A few weeks later, after the authorities had done a full sweep of the basement, and cleared out all traces of the building' old laboratory, I found myself once again back in the manager's office.
"Mr. Owens. This is the last time I'm gonna tell you this!" Jane joked, as I heard her recline back in what was once Mr. Winfred's chair, having been named interim manager since her boss's recent and... ironic... prison sentencing.
"Who's the convict now?" I said with a smile, before making my way out of the office.
"Wait." Jane said, stopping me at the door. "You sure you want to go back to operating the elevator? After all that's happened? Like I said, the doorman job is yours if you want it."
"What's the worst that could happen?" I replied with a smile. "There's another one of those creatures in the building somewhere?"
2024.06.09 16:09 Craftex101 (Ragnarok: Pandora) Chapter 60: Imperial Hubris
Hartmann flies towards Yu Huang on his new waterbound Hydra. As the plane begins to fire Yu Huang holds out his hand, the Hydra getting in the way again, blocking the bullets with one of its heads, another head snapping towards the plane, Hartmann going up and above it. âDamn! This new dragon would DIE for you huh, Herr Huang!?â
âIt will do no such thing, Hartmann. I would not allow such behavior from my dragons! The hydraâs regeneration allowed it to live so long as a head remains!â He calls out, Hartmann laughing happily.
âRight. So I gotta take out ALL the heads at once!? Kinderspiel!â He calls out as he spins around to approach Yu Huang again.
Yu Huang scoffs, stamping down his staff. âHmpf. Childâs play you say? Doubtful any child should find themselves in the midst of these battles! Unless you consider yourself a mere CHILD!â
Izanagi crosses his arms with a smirk. âYou tell him, old friend! Bwahaha!â
Ao Kuang and his brothers all facepalm a little. âOur father needs to work on his banter huh, Tsukuyomi?â
Tsukuyomi looks back briefly. âOh um⌠I guess so? It is not⌠what I admire him for.â
"Right⌠us neither.â
Yu Huang spins his spear back, thrusting forward and one of the hydraâs heads mimic his movement and FIRES off its head from the socket, Hartmannâs eyes widening as he does a full flip midair to fly over it.
Hartmannâs gaze suddenly drops a little, darkening. âI suppose we should stop using the baby guns then! Letâs switch to something more ADULT!â Hartmann approaches once again, confidently letting go of the control stick and suddenly he flips upside down in his glass bubble cockpit. On the opposite side is another two handles, which he grabs hold of and shoves them forward, thumbs on the buttons at the end of each. Two plates move aside on the bottom of the plane and two large gun-barrels shoot out, pointing in the direction Hartmann is looking. He starts firing, the heavy rattling of bullet-casings plunging off the sides of the jet and heavy bullets smashing against Yu Huangâs hydra, forcing him to dodge rather than merely block it with the heads as they are torn apart by these bullets, the head snaking back and forth in the water, the hydraâs underwater body darting backwards. âThatâs right! Kinderspiel! Limiting yourself to only TWO planes of movement, Herr Huang!? Not a smart idea when youâre against the greatest three dimensional fighter in ALL THE HEAVENS! If this is your best idea then I will NEVER be shot down!â He laughs with a strained smirk. âNeverâŚâ
Yu Huang blocks a bullet, deflecting it to the side with his spear. âSuch arrogance! And yet you too have limited your movement no!? Without your hands on that stick in your machine you move in ONE dimension! Straight ahead!â He pushes his palm forward, two hydra heads shooting forth from the water aimed directly at the jet.
Hartmann doesnât have time to readjust his seat, but he smirks. âAnd here I thought you and I had an understanding, Herr Huang!â He suddenly kicks his foot past the yoke before pulling and catching it on his foot, yanking himself into the air, blood rushing to his head but he merely shakes it off. âWoooooohoooo!â
Yu Huang sees the jet twirling in the sky and he pauses. âTo think once upon a time⌠I too believed myself untouchable⌠How foolish I was.â
-Ancient Past-
Yu Huang raises the gavel. âThis meeting is hereby adjourned!â
âBut we still have the matter of what to do with Wukong?â A god chimes in as Yu Huang slams down his gavel.
âI have no care for that monkey. Do not waste my time, you imbecile or I will show you why I rule this council,â He holds up his hand and the green energy flows up his wrist, forming little scales around his fingers.
The god flinches and swiftly rushes off. âNevermind! My apologies!â
Yu Huang stands from his seat. âHmpf. Wukong,â He mutters to himself before stepping off the throne onto the head of a few dragons acting as his staircase, the beasts whimpering as he does. âSilence. Follow,â He walks out of the council jumping into a saddled dragon which quickly flies him off towards the Jade Palace. âBefore this. We go east,â He mutters with a smirk. The dragon roars and shoots towards the west, landing at a large temple, Ao Kuang standing outside, next to a large red pillar with golden rims.
âFather?! I-I did not expect to see you here!â Ao Kuang quickly kneels, as Yu Huang strides past him.
âYou bow too late, dragon. A king you may be, but that is nothing to an emperor. I expect you to be kneeling BEFORE I arrive,â He says and Ao Kuang feels a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead. He upset his father⌠This is not good. âI am feeling charitable at the moment. So I will forgive it this once. So tell me. How is the caged ape?â He smirks and Ao Kuang stands and nods.
âThe caged monkey! Yes of course! Um⌠I do not mean to upset you further, father⌠butâŚâ As they walk in they hear banging of flesh on metal, wet bangs⌠as they walk in Wukong is standing in a large golden bird-cage elevated above a massive hole in the ground, water flowing into it from all sides. Wukong is HAMMERING his fists at the bars, blood dripping from his fists and feet as he goes, the golden pristine pillars making up the bars all colored red with blood. His eyes are wild and focused on the pillars. He has not even seen Yu Huang enter. âBut the monkey has not stopped striking the cage since his imprisonment 1000 years ago.â
Yu Huangâs eyes go slightly wide. âNot for a moment, you say? Hmpf. Foolish mortal. MONKEY!â He calls out, Wukongâs eyes flickering and he stops with one final punch, shaking the cage. âHow are you enjoying your endless life in Heaven?â
âFuck youâŚâ Wukong says, springing towards the closest point to Yu Huang. âCome in here you bastard! Iâll kill you! Iâll kill you and ALL your BASTARD kids for what you did! Show you what itâs like!â
Yu Huang laughs. âOh please,â He raises his hand and with a single palm strike a dragon-head blasts forth from his palm, striking Wukong and knocking him to the other side of the giant cage he is in. âYou would stand no chance. I am not some mortal being. I am The Jade Emperor. Do not forget this,â He smirks and turns to leave. âI have seen what I need to see. I am going home.â
Ao Kuang bows his head. âIt was wonderful to be graced with your presence, father,â
âYou are most welcome,â Yu Huang steps onto his staddled dragon once again and it flies off. âFoolish monkey. Attempting to argue and challenge a god such as myself? Preposterous.â
And so⌠time passed. Every 1000 years or so Yu Huang would visit the temple to check in on Wukong. Each interaction between the two followed this same pattern. Yu Huang was quite pleased with his work. The disrespect Wukong had shown him, making him pleased to see the monkey getting his comeuppance.
Yu Huang is sitting in the Jade Palace, looking out into his garden seeing his mighty dragons, chained to the ground to ensure they do not fly away. Those darn beasts do not listen to authority! Yet undoubtedly the dragon is the greatest symbol of power in all of Heaven! He suddenly hears a loud and disruptive CRASH outside. âWhat is the meaning of this!?â He says waving his hand. âGuards. Deal with whatever that was,â However before any of the angel guards can even leave another angel comes BURSTING through the door.
âLord! Lord Yu Huang! Itâs⌠ITâS WUKONG!â He yells, Yu Huangâs eyes going wide as he stands.
âWukong!?â He swiftly makes his way down to the bottom level. âThat monkey escaped?! What trickery he must have used. I shall punish Ao Kuang DEARLY for this!â He says before the front door BLASTS open and an angel comes tumbling in, Yu Huang stopping him with a flick of his palm, causing a dragon tail to swipe the angel aside. He furrows a brow as Wukong comes walking through the door, an aura of DEATHLY killing intent following him like a thick black smog. âSo⌠you have escaped. I am quite impressed. And what will you do now?â He says smirking confidently. Wukong tosses something heâs holding above his head into the room. Yu Huang hears four grunts of pain seeing the Four Dragon Kings writhing on the floor. âAo Kuang! Stand and get your prisoner under control. This is ridiculous.â
Ao Kuang pants, bleeding from his head and struggling to move. âIâm sorry father⌠I do not know⌠how this happened. Heâs⌠too strong⌠he took the Pillar somehow. Ruyi Jingu Bang. He simply⌠picked it up. I have never seen anything like it.â
Yu Huang scoffs. âYou expect me to deal with this myself then? How disappointed I am in you.â
âSorry FatherâŚâ
Yu Huang looks up towards Wukong. âTell me, monkey. What purpose have you brought these four to my doorstep? Simply to prove yourself worthy to fight me?â
Wukong slams his staff down. âIâm gonna kill these sons of yours in front of you. And then you. Letâs see how YOU like it when your family dies in front of your eyes!â He raises it and holds it to Ao Kuangâs head. âSimply letting go of this and his head is crushed to a paste.â
Yu Huang raises an eyebrow. âMy sons? These are not my sons. These are my servants. The guards for my temples. You believe them to be irreplaceable to me? Though I suppose it would be a bother to do so. Very well. I shall allow you to face me,â He takes a stance, the green energy flowing into his palms, forming dragons to float around them ready to blast forward.
Wukongâs eyes widen. âYouâre worse than scum⌠you donât even care! This guy!â He nudges Ao Kuang. âWas more afraid of you being disappointed in him than he was of ME killing him! What kinda monster are you!?â He shoves the four dragon kings aside.
Yu Huang scoffs. âInsolent child! Allow me to show you the strength of Heavenâs mightiest god!â He strikes forward one of the dragons he created, shooting forward only for him to suddenly find Wukongâs hand wrapped over his face.
âThis one is for Zhu, my best friend. The person who stood beside me all my life and helped me through countless tough decisions.â Yu Huang is BLASTED through the back wall of his palace, into the dragon-filled courtyard.
âNgh!?â Yu Huang recovers, with a wave of his hand a dragon head forming under his feet to gently set him on the ground. âYou caught me off-guard with that speed. I am impre-â He is forced to lean himself over backwards as Ruyi Jingu Bang SHOOTS forward out of the hole in the wall, Wukong suddenly above him, standing on the staff.
âThis one is for Bai, the love of my life, the only woman I will ever love,â He strikes down, hammering Yu Huang into the ground hard enough to dislodge the pillars holding down his dragons who all scatter into the sky. Yu Huang claps, sending a pulse of energy out around him swirling with dragonic murals within the shield.
âSo you are a little stronger than I care to admit! You are going to BEG me for mercy!â He says before suddenly Wukong is standing in front of his shield.
âThis oneâs for the chief, the man who took care of me, despite my faults, who was kind to me when I was unworthy of his kindness,â He kicks forward the shield shattering like glass, Yu Huang feeling his lunch coming up as heâs struck in the stomach, coughing up blood and vomit before he goes flying into the sky. As he reaches the pinnacle he feels Wukongâs hand once again grabbing him. Heâs so fast! What is going on!? âAnd this is for my kids. Luohou, Yuebei and Jidu. Who did no harm to you or anyone else, merely teased one another as siblings do,â Wukongâs voice is practically lifeless as they fall towards the palace, Wukong HURLING Yu Huang downward, crashing through floor after floor after floor until he once more strikes the ground floor where their âfightâ started.
âKah!â Yu Huang looks up seeing Wukong hurling his staff down as well, and it grows. Yu Huang is trembling in every bone. He cannot defeat this mere mortal. This MONKEY!? Where was this arrogance of his coming from? Supreme power? Birthright? How could all of it measure up to NOTHING? There was no divine pride left. A mere mortal, whom he had treated as less than dirt, was able to simply waltz into HIS palace, dismantle HIS guards and crush HIM effortlessly!?
âAnd THIS! Is for the rest of the Anima! A people plagued by war, but one that could have become something greater given time! The millions of lives YOU ENDED with your cruelty!â MONKEY KINGâS GOD-CRUSHINGâŚ!! However, suddenly Yu Huang sees shadows looming over him. The Four Dragon Kings.
âDo not worry father! We will protect you!â Wukongâs eyes widen as he kicks the staff down, shrinking it back to normal size and it pierces through the floor, embedding itself without touching any of the five gods.
He lands in front of them rather nimbly. âWhat are you protecting this ASSHOLE for!? He treats you like servants! He doesnât care about you!â
âHe is all we have!â They all four hold their arms out. âWe were worthless before he showed us a path. He may treat us as his servants. But to us heâs our FATHER! He gave us purpose. He showed us kindness when no other would! Killing him would do NOTHING for you, except⌠continue this cycle of revenge!â Ao Kuang calls out and Wukong grits his teeth, raising his hand to strike the weak and bruised Dragon Kings aside.
âSeeing your father struck down in front of you, huh? Revenge⌠violence,â He finds a string tugging at his heart, while Yu Huang looks at him, his eyes practically shaking and unable to focus. Wukong picks his staff out of the ground, stomping up to Yu Huang, picking him up by the throat, Yu Huang desperately firing a shot of jade energy at Wukongâs head, striking him dead on yet he didnât even react. What is this ridiculous strength!? âWhatâs wrong, Yu Huang? Scared of a monkey? Donât be. You got some good kids. But understand this. I am not forgiving you. Iâm showing you something I donât think you gods have ever heard of. Mercy. You gods have tormented me for long enough. Itâs MY turn to torment you guys a little⌠by living a free life,â He tosses Yu Huang into the room, stretching as he walks out.
Ao Kuang and the other three kneel down to Yu Huang. âFather! Are you alright!? W-we apologize for not being able t-â
âNo⌠I am the one who is sorry.â
âH-huh?!â They all look at one another in confusion.
âI have treated you poorly⌠What have I been doing? My arrogance, founded on my magical strength. Tormenting you, Wukong, the dragons. Oh the dragons!â He stands and looks to the skies seeing the dragons burning their saddles and muzzles from one anotherâs back, soaring free. âI truly⌠truly am not worthy of any of thisâŚâ
-Present day-
âYou!? You defeated The Jade Emperor so effortlessly!? Incredible!â Sakai exclaims as Wukong looks at the screens with a light scoff.
âYeah I did. Donât think itâd be that easy anymore though.â
Pandora manages to strain herself to sit and look towards Wukong. âNgh⌠what⌠do you mean, Wukong? You are⌠incredibly powerful still, right?â
Wukong nods. âI am, no doubt about that. But since I humbled that old bastard he bettered himself in every conceivable way. Even gave up his seat at the council.â
âSo heâs⌠good now? Gah!â Pandora grabs her belly in pain as Hartmann begins to fire again.
âHa! Fat chance! He still voted for your kindâs destruction and he STILL-â He cuts himself off, gripping his arm tightly from their crossed state, breathing in. âHeâs not off the hook at all. I hate him moreso than any other. But with his newfound knowledge and understanding of dragons, the source of his power, his strength increased exponentially.â
Everyoneâs eyes widen. âSo simply that mental switch⌠and heâs THAT much more powerful?â
ââfraid so, Pandora. That bastardâs one of the toughest gods in Heaven.â
Hephaestus pushes Pandora back onto her back. âPandora⌠do not strain yourself, please!â
Pandora gives a strained laugh. âIâm fine, dad.â
Wukong squints. âI hope this Hartmann finally ends you, Yu Huang.â
Yu Huang smirks. âTruly incredible, Sun Wukong. To feel your animosity this far outâŚâ He strikes the air with his palm again, sending Hydra-heads blasting towards Hartmann, who swiftly swerves aside, the hydra swimming away as fast as it can. âBut for the sake of those who hold special places within my once cold heartâŚâ Hartmann approaches again, switching his orientation again to fire his heavy cannons. âIT SHALL BE YOU WHO IS FELLED!â He yells out clapping his hands together the Hydra firing several of its heads towards the plane at once, Hartmann gritting his teeth.
submitted by Craftex101 to ShuumatsuNoValkyrie [link] [comments]
âIt will do no such thing, Hartmann. I would not allow such behavior from my dragons! The hydraâs regeneration allowed it to live so long as a head remains!â He calls out, Hartmann laughing happily.
âRight. So I gotta take out ALL the heads at once!? Kinderspiel!â He calls out as he spins around to approach Yu Huang again.
Yu Huang scoffs, stamping down his staff. âHmpf. Childâs play you say? Doubtful any child should find themselves in the midst of these battles! Unless you consider yourself a mere CHILD!â
Izanagi crosses his arms with a smirk. âYou tell him, old friend! Bwahaha!â
Ao Kuang and his brothers all facepalm a little. âOur father needs to work on his banter huh, Tsukuyomi?â
Tsukuyomi looks back briefly. âOh um⌠I guess so? It is not⌠what I admire him for.â
"Right⌠us neither.â
Yu Huang spins his spear back, thrusting forward and one of the hydraâs heads mimic his movement and FIRES off its head from the socket, Hartmannâs eyes widening as he does a full flip midair to fly over it.
Hartmannâs gaze suddenly drops a little, darkening. âI suppose we should stop using the baby guns then! Letâs switch to something more ADULT!â Hartmann approaches once again, confidently letting go of the control stick and suddenly he flips upside down in his glass bubble cockpit. On the opposite side is another two handles, which he grabs hold of and shoves them forward, thumbs on the buttons at the end of each. Two plates move aside on the bottom of the plane and two large gun-barrels shoot out, pointing in the direction Hartmann is looking. He starts firing, the heavy rattling of bullet-casings plunging off the sides of the jet and heavy bullets smashing against Yu Huangâs hydra, forcing him to dodge rather than merely block it with the heads as they are torn apart by these bullets, the head snaking back and forth in the water, the hydraâs underwater body darting backwards. âThatâs right! Kinderspiel! Limiting yourself to only TWO planes of movement, Herr Huang!? Not a smart idea when youâre against the greatest three dimensional fighter in ALL THE HEAVENS! If this is your best idea then I will NEVER be shot down!â He laughs with a strained smirk. âNeverâŚâ
Yu Huang blocks a bullet, deflecting it to the side with his spear. âSuch arrogance! And yet you too have limited your movement no!? Without your hands on that stick in your machine you move in ONE dimension! Straight ahead!â He pushes his palm forward, two hydra heads shooting forth from the water aimed directly at the jet.
Hartmann doesnât have time to readjust his seat, but he smirks. âAnd here I thought you and I had an understanding, Herr Huang!â He suddenly kicks his foot past the yoke before pulling and catching it on his foot, yanking himself into the air, blood rushing to his head but he merely shakes it off. âWoooooohoooo!â
Yu Huang sees the jet twirling in the sky and he pauses. âTo think once upon a time⌠I too believed myself untouchable⌠How foolish I was.â
-Ancient Past-
Yu Huang raises the gavel. âThis meeting is hereby adjourned!â
âBut we still have the matter of what to do with Wukong?â A god chimes in as Yu Huang slams down his gavel.
âI have no care for that monkey. Do not waste my time, you imbecile or I will show you why I rule this council,â He holds up his hand and the green energy flows up his wrist, forming little scales around his fingers.
The god flinches and swiftly rushes off. âNevermind! My apologies!â
Yu Huang stands from his seat. âHmpf. Wukong,â He mutters to himself before stepping off the throne onto the head of a few dragons acting as his staircase, the beasts whimpering as he does. âSilence. Follow,â He walks out of the council jumping into a saddled dragon which quickly flies him off towards the Jade Palace. âBefore this. We go east,â He mutters with a smirk. The dragon roars and shoots towards the west, landing at a large temple, Ao Kuang standing outside, next to a large red pillar with golden rims.
âFather?! I-I did not expect to see you here!â Ao Kuang quickly kneels, as Yu Huang strides past him.
âYou bow too late, dragon. A king you may be, but that is nothing to an emperor. I expect you to be kneeling BEFORE I arrive,â He says and Ao Kuang feels a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead. He upset his father⌠This is not good. âI am feeling charitable at the moment. So I will forgive it this once. So tell me. How is the caged ape?â He smirks and Ao Kuang stands and nods.
âThe caged monkey! Yes of course! Um⌠I do not mean to upset you further, father⌠butâŚâ As they walk in they hear banging of flesh on metal, wet bangs⌠as they walk in Wukong is standing in a large golden bird-cage elevated above a massive hole in the ground, water flowing into it from all sides. Wukong is HAMMERING his fists at the bars, blood dripping from his fists and feet as he goes, the golden pristine pillars making up the bars all colored red with blood. His eyes are wild and focused on the pillars. He has not even seen Yu Huang enter. âBut the monkey has not stopped striking the cage since his imprisonment 1000 years ago.â
Yu Huangâs eyes go slightly wide. âNot for a moment, you say? Hmpf. Foolish mortal. MONKEY!â He calls out, Wukongâs eyes flickering and he stops with one final punch, shaking the cage. âHow are you enjoying your endless life in Heaven?â
âFuck youâŚâ Wukong says, springing towards the closest point to Yu Huang. âCome in here you bastard! Iâll kill you! Iâll kill you and ALL your BASTARD kids for what you did! Show you what itâs like!â
Yu Huang laughs. âOh please,â He raises his hand and with a single palm strike a dragon-head blasts forth from his palm, striking Wukong and knocking him to the other side of the giant cage he is in. âYou would stand no chance. I am not some mortal being. I am The Jade Emperor. Do not forget this,â He smirks and turns to leave. âI have seen what I need to see. I am going home.â
Ao Kuang bows his head. âIt was wonderful to be graced with your presence, father,â
âYou are most welcome,â Yu Huang steps onto his staddled dragon once again and it flies off. âFoolish monkey. Attempting to argue and challenge a god such as myself? Preposterous.â
And so⌠time passed. Every 1000 years or so Yu Huang would visit the temple to check in on Wukong. Each interaction between the two followed this same pattern. Yu Huang was quite pleased with his work. The disrespect Wukong had shown him, making him pleased to see the monkey getting his comeuppance.
Yu Huang is sitting in the Jade Palace, looking out into his garden seeing his mighty dragons, chained to the ground to ensure they do not fly away. Those darn beasts do not listen to authority! Yet undoubtedly the dragon is the greatest symbol of power in all of Heaven! He suddenly hears a loud and disruptive CRASH outside. âWhat is the meaning of this!?â He says waving his hand. âGuards. Deal with whatever that was,â However before any of the angel guards can even leave another angel comes BURSTING through the door.
âLord! Lord Yu Huang! Itâs⌠ITâS WUKONG!â He yells, Yu Huangâs eyes going wide as he stands.
âWukong!?â He swiftly makes his way down to the bottom level. âThat monkey escaped?! What trickery he must have used. I shall punish Ao Kuang DEARLY for this!â He says before the front door BLASTS open and an angel comes tumbling in, Yu Huang stopping him with a flick of his palm, causing a dragon tail to swipe the angel aside. He furrows a brow as Wukong comes walking through the door, an aura of DEATHLY killing intent following him like a thick black smog. âSo⌠you have escaped. I am quite impressed. And what will you do now?â He says smirking confidently. Wukong tosses something heâs holding above his head into the room. Yu Huang hears four grunts of pain seeing the Four Dragon Kings writhing on the floor. âAo Kuang! Stand and get your prisoner under control. This is ridiculous.â
Ao Kuang pants, bleeding from his head and struggling to move. âIâm sorry father⌠I do not know⌠how this happened. Heâs⌠too strong⌠he took the Pillar somehow. Ruyi Jingu Bang. He simply⌠picked it up. I have never seen anything like it.â
Yu Huang scoffs. âYou expect me to deal with this myself then? How disappointed I am in you.â
âSorry FatherâŚâ
Yu Huang looks up towards Wukong. âTell me, monkey. What purpose have you brought these four to my doorstep? Simply to prove yourself worthy to fight me?â
Wukong slams his staff down. âIâm gonna kill these sons of yours in front of you. And then you. Letâs see how YOU like it when your family dies in front of your eyes!â He raises it and holds it to Ao Kuangâs head. âSimply letting go of this and his head is crushed to a paste.â
Yu Huang raises an eyebrow. âMy sons? These are not my sons. These are my servants. The guards for my temples. You believe them to be irreplaceable to me? Though I suppose it would be a bother to do so. Very well. I shall allow you to face me,â He takes a stance, the green energy flowing into his palms, forming dragons to float around them ready to blast forward.
Wukongâs eyes widen. âYouâre worse than scum⌠you donât even care! This guy!â He nudges Ao Kuang. âWas more afraid of you being disappointed in him than he was of ME killing him! What kinda monster are you!?â He shoves the four dragon kings aside.
Yu Huang scoffs. âInsolent child! Allow me to show you the strength of Heavenâs mightiest god!â He strikes forward one of the dragons he created, shooting forward only for him to suddenly find Wukongâs hand wrapped over his face.
âThis one is for Zhu, my best friend. The person who stood beside me all my life and helped me through countless tough decisions.â Yu Huang is BLASTED through the back wall of his palace, into the dragon-filled courtyard.
âNgh!?â Yu Huang recovers, with a wave of his hand a dragon head forming under his feet to gently set him on the ground. âYou caught me off-guard with that speed. I am impre-â He is forced to lean himself over backwards as Ruyi Jingu Bang SHOOTS forward out of the hole in the wall, Wukong suddenly above him, standing on the staff.
âThis one is for Bai, the love of my life, the only woman I will ever love,â He strikes down, hammering Yu Huang into the ground hard enough to dislodge the pillars holding down his dragons who all scatter into the sky. Yu Huang claps, sending a pulse of energy out around him swirling with dragonic murals within the shield.
âSo you are a little stronger than I care to admit! You are going to BEG me for mercy!â He says before suddenly Wukong is standing in front of his shield.
âThis oneâs for the chief, the man who took care of me, despite my faults, who was kind to me when I was unworthy of his kindness,â He kicks forward the shield shattering like glass, Yu Huang feeling his lunch coming up as heâs struck in the stomach, coughing up blood and vomit before he goes flying into the sky. As he reaches the pinnacle he feels Wukongâs hand once again grabbing him. Heâs so fast! What is going on!? âAnd this is for my kids. Luohou, Yuebei and Jidu. Who did no harm to you or anyone else, merely teased one another as siblings do,â Wukongâs voice is practically lifeless as they fall towards the palace, Wukong HURLING Yu Huang downward, crashing through floor after floor after floor until he once more strikes the ground floor where their âfightâ started.
âKah!â Yu Huang looks up seeing Wukong hurling his staff down as well, and it grows. Yu Huang is trembling in every bone. He cannot defeat this mere mortal. This MONKEY!? Where was this arrogance of his coming from? Supreme power? Birthright? How could all of it measure up to NOTHING? There was no divine pride left. A mere mortal, whom he had treated as less than dirt, was able to simply waltz into HIS palace, dismantle HIS guards and crush HIM effortlessly!?
âAnd THIS! Is for the rest of the Anima! A people plagued by war, but one that could have become something greater given time! The millions of lives YOU ENDED with your cruelty!â MONKEY KINGâS GOD-CRUSHINGâŚ!! However, suddenly Yu Huang sees shadows looming over him. The Four Dragon Kings.
âDo not worry father! We will protect you!â Wukongâs eyes widen as he kicks the staff down, shrinking it back to normal size and it pierces through the floor, embedding itself without touching any of the five gods.
He lands in front of them rather nimbly. âWhat are you protecting this ASSHOLE for!? He treats you like servants! He doesnât care about you!â
âHe is all we have!â They all four hold their arms out. âWe were worthless before he showed us a path. He may treat us as his servants. But to us heâs our FATHER! He gave us purpose. He showed us kindness when no other would! Killing him would do NOTHING for you, except⌠continue this cycle of revenge!â Ao Kuang calls out and Wukong grits his teeth, raising his hand to strike the weak and bruised Dragon Kings aside.
âSeeing your father struck down in front of you, huh? Revenge⌠violence,â He finds a string tugging at his heart, while Yu Huang looks at him, his eyes practically shaking and unable to focus. Wukong picks his staff out of the ground, stomping up to Yu Huang, picking him up by the throat, Yu Huang desperately firing a shot of jade energy at Wukongâs head, striking him dead on yet he didnât even react. What is this ridiculous strength!? âWhatâs wrong, Yu Huang? Scared of a monkey? Donât be. You got some good kids. But understand this. I am not forgiving you. Iâm showing you something I donât think you gods have ever heard of. Mercy. You gods have tormented me for long enough. Itâs MY turn to torment you guys a little⌠by living a free life,â He tosses Yu Huang into the room, stretching as he walks out.
Ao Kuang and the other three kneel down to Yu Huang. âFather! Are you alright!? W-we apologize for not being able t-â
âNo⌠I am the one who is sorry.â
âH-huh?!â They all look at one another in confusion.
âI have treated you poorly⌠What have I been doing? My arrogance, founded on my magical strength. Tormenting you, Wukong, the dragons. Oh the dragons!â He stands and looks to the skies seeing the dragons burning their saddles and muzzles from one anotherâs back, soaring free. âI truly⌠truly am not worthy of any of thisâŚâ
-Present day-
âYou!? You defeated The Jade Emperor so effortlessly!? Incredible!â Sakai exclaims as Wukong looks at the screens with a light scoff.
âYeah I did. Donât think itâd be that easy anymore though.â
Pandora manages to strain herself to sit and look towards Wukong. âNgh⌠what⌠do you mean, Wukong? You are⌠incredibly powerful still, right?â
Wukong nods. âI am, no doubt about that. But since I humbled that old bastard he bettered himself in every conceivable way. Even gave up his seat at the council.â
âSo heâs⌠good now? Gah!â Pandora grabs her belly in pain as Hartmann begins to fire again.
âHa! Fat chance! He still voted for your kindâs destruction and he STILL-â He cuts himself off, gripping his arm tightly from their crossed state, breathing in. âHeâs not off the hook at all. I hate him moreso than any other. But with his newfound knowledge and understanding of dragons, the source of his power, his strength increased exponentially.â
Everyoneâs eyes widen. âSo simply that mental switch⌠and heâs THAT much more powerful?â
ââfraid so, Pandora. That bastardâs one of the toughest gods in Heaven.â
Hephaestus pushes Pandora back onto her back. âPandora⌠do not strain yourself, please!â
Pandora gives a strained laugh. âIâm fine, dad.â
Wukong squints. âI hope this Hartmann finally ends you, Yu Huang.â
Yu Huang smirks. âTruly incredible, Sun Wukong. To feel your animosity this far outâŚâ He strikes the air with his palm again, sending Hydra-heads blasting towards Hartmann, who swiftly swerves aside, the hydra swimming away as fast as it can. âBut for the sake of those who hold special places within my once cold heartâŚâ Hartmann approaches again, switching his orientation again to fire his heavy cannons. âIT SHALL BE YOU WHO IS FELLED!â He yells out clapping his hands together the Hydra firing several of its heads towards the plane at once, Hartmann gritting his teeth.
2024.06.09 16:06 Normal-Delivery-3258 No meds are working
I get my meds for free through a low income program at a local hospital. I canât afford to buy over the counter stuff or other things that are supposed to help, so Iâm pretty much stuck to prescription meds.
My sleep schedule is so fucked, time feels like a soup. Once Iâm asleep, Iâm DEAD asleep, so thatâs not my problem. My problems are: getting to sleep, sleep inertia (being unable to wake up), and the resulting fucked-up-ness of my circadian rhythm (which essentially does not exist).
Side note, but itâs relevant: I also have a CYP-2D6 deficiency, which is the enzyme that metabolizes opiates. So, for example, if someone gives me a shot of morphine, nothing happens. I am now beginning to think I am lacking in whatever enzymes digest benzodiazepines as well, because I can take 3mg or more of clonazepam and feel no relief or sleepiness.
My insomnia is not related to anxiety, but my ADHD is DEFINITELY a player here. I canât turn off my brain. Iâve had some luck with green/pink noise tracks (like white noise but better), however Iâm still feeling overwhelmed, and just want something to knock me the fuck out.
I have also recently tried trazodone to no avail. And I have taken ambien in the past, but thatâs a NO GOOOO, as I woke up twice driving (once completely lost, the other time crashing into a median). So I am not down to try ANYTHING in the same med class as ambien.
My sleep inertia primarily comes from my extremely vivid and high stakes dreams and my inability to tell the difference between reality and dreams in the first few minutes of waking up. I often feel pressure to go to the place where I am more immediately needed, which is usually my dream.
I am very overwhelmed by all of this and it has had such an awful effect on me and my work lately that I am months behind on bills and in danger of eviction.
Iâm desperate. What meds or free tricks have worked for you? Any attempt to calm my mind (deep breathing, meditating, etc.) have been wildly unsuccessful due to my ADHD, so thatâs not where itâs at.
Help.
submitted by Normal-Delivery-3258 to insomnia [link] [comments]
My sleep schedule is so fucked, time feels like a soup. Once Iâm asleep, Iâm DEAD asleep, so thatâs not my problem. My problems are: getting to sleep, sleep inertia (being unable to wake up), and the resulting fucked-up-ness of my circadian rhythm (which essentially does not exist).
Side note, but itâs relevant: I also have a CYP-2D6 deficiency, which is the enzyme that metabolizes opiates. So, for example, if someone gives me a shot of morphine, nothing happens. I am now beginning to think I am lacking in whatever enzymes digest benzodiazepines as well, because I can take 3mg or more of clonazepam and feel no relief or sleepiness.
My insomnia is not related to anxiety, but my ADHD is DEFINITELY a player here. I canât turn off my brain. Iâve had some luck with green/pink noise tracks (like white noise but better), however Iâm still feeling overwhelmed, and just want something to knock me the fuck out.
I have also recently tried trazodone to no avail. And I have taken ambien in the past, but thatâs a NO GOOOO, as I woke up twice driving (once completely lost, the other time crashing into a median). So I am not down to try ANYTHING in the same med class as ambien.
My sleep inertia primarily comes from my extremely vivid and high stakes dreams and my inability to tell the difference between reality and dreams in the first few minutes of waking up. I often feel pressure to go to the place where I am more immediately needed, which is usually my dream.
I am very overwhelmed by all of this and it has had such an awful effect on me and my work lately that I am months behind on bills and in danger of eviction.
Iâm desperate. What meds or free tricks have worked for you? Any attempt to calm my mind (deep breathing, meditating, etc.) have been wildly unsuccessful due to my ADHD, so thatâs not where itâs at.
Help.
2024.06.09 16:01 throwawaylolhelppls The girl I got rejected by 2 years ago is making me catch feelings again. What should I do?
Let me start from the very beginning. I met this girl 2 years ago in one of my classes and she asked for my number for math help and we started talking. However, not one conversation was about math. We talked about life and other stuff (and obviously since we were high schoolers about our classes) and I started catching feelings for her. She told me what she enjoyed doing, asked questions and wasnât really dry (I felt like I was starting most of the conversations as I look back) and how she wanted me to join her in partaking in her hobbies and overall said a lot of things that made me believe that I had a chance. As the year was coming to an end, we planned on going to a movie (me, her, a few other girls and my best friend). I told her I wanted to speak about something to her a few days before we went and she called me for the first time and I was scared to pick up so I said I was busy and it was too important so Iâd save it for later. The day of the movie came and one of the girls knew what I wanted to do (turns out that girl had a crush on me) so she helped get the rest of everyone away for a little bit and left us alone. I chickened out and just made it awkward between us being too scared to say anything. After that, we all went to go get food and this was my last opportunity to say anything. So once more the girl came up with a reason to take everyone away and leave the two of us alone together and I built up all the courage I had and just said it. She said she never really thought of me that way and I was crushed and pretty sad for the rest of the time we were there.
That night, I texted her telling her that I might need some space and if it was okay with her if I didnât reach out as much for a few days. The next day at school, she was speaking to me in the third person and not even acknowledging that I was there (we sat right next to each other and we were working on something together with another person). I couldnât help but feel so alienated in the situation and feel like giving up right then and there because even though I did say that I wouldnât reach out as much, I didnât expect her to completely ignore me. Then the last day of school came around (I couldnât go as I had a flight booked that day to go out of the country) and she texted me âwe missed you todayâ as in her, the few other girls, and my best friend. That day, my best friend texted me saying that he suspects that my crush liked him and asked me if he should ask anything about it to her because of the way she was acting on the last day of school. The whole time, my friend was pushing me to tell her how I felt and helped me build up the courage and introduced me to the gym. I had known him since elementary school and he was honestly one of the best people I could ask for at the time. From the start, he barely talked to her having minimal interaction with her and kept saying that he caught my crush staring at me during class. Basically, I pushed him to do it since I was curious as well and he asked her. At this time I was in the airport and on the plane but turns out, she liked him and wanted to go out on a date with him. And all that âcaught staringâ was actually to him and not me. He asked me what he should do and I told him it was up to him so at first he said yes. I felt so betrayed, by her for even asking to go out with my best friend 4 days after it all went down, and a little by my best friend. In my clouded mind, I texted her saying what she did was a little fâed up (I donât know what I was thinking) and we had a small argument about everything.
Once all this happened, my friend was mad at me for going and texting her (as he should be) and he cut it off with her saying he was busy and just showed no interest. After the whole situation, my best friend just distanced himself from me, barely talking or texting me the whole time I was in a different country. I texted her saying whatever I did was unnecessary and that I felt bad. After a month and a half of having no contact with either of them, she texts me one random day that she wanted to end the beef. I texted her here and there but not as much as everything felt dry and as if I was forcing her to speak so I just gave up. I get back home and my best friend and I go to the gym once and for some reason I felt so nauseous (this had never happened to me before) and like I would collapse so I had to go home and I texted him as I was leaving the gym. That was basically the last time that I had any interaction with him until the next school year started. Once the school year started, I asked both my ex crush and my ex best friend about what classes I had and none of them were the same. From that day onwards, my conversations with my ex best friend was strictly about academics, nothing more. When it came to my ex crush, she posted something about her having a scare experience of some guys harassing her and I asked her to make sure everything was okay. After that for a few months (my dumb self wanted to do this for some reason) I texted her asking for help to get this other girl and said I needed her help. It was an awkward conversation and was so unnecessary.
After that I realized how dumb I was being and I stopped having any interactions with her and she texted me happy birthday so when it was her birthday I just texted it back. I won a competition as well so she said congratulations and all the things people do to just be nice. So that comes brings us up to my senior year. We got a couple classes together this time, Iâve caught her staring at me a couple of times myself and Iâve just made eye contact a few times. The only issue is, I donât know if she has a boyfriend or not and is talking to someone at the moment. For some reason, I started catching feelings for her once more with just barely talking to her. I donât know where it came from but I have no idea what to do. School just ended for me and I have graduation in a little bit. I plan on going to a different college (or the Air Force for a year depending on how everything pans out) while she is going to a completely different school than me out of state. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Should I just forget about it and try my best to move on or how should I approach going about this whole situation?
tldr: I got rejected by my crush 2 years ago and turns out she liked my best friend and we had an argument. Lost my best friend and was still trying to find ways to talk to her. Gave up for a year and half and now Iâm catching feelings again. We are about to graduate this week and will be off to different colleges. What should I do?
submitted by throwawaylolhelppls to Advice [link] [comments]
That night, I texted her telling her that I might need some space and if it was okay with her if I didnât reach out as much for a few days. The next day at school, she was speaking to me in the third person and not even acknowledging that I was there (we sat right next to each other and we were working on something together with another person). I couldnât help but feel so alienated in the situation and feel like giving up right then and there because even though I did say that I wouldnât reach out as much, I didnât expect her to completely ignore me. Then the last day of school came around (I couldnât go as I had a flight booked that day to go out of the country) and she texted me âwe missed you todayâ as in her, the few other girls, and my best friend. That day, my best friend texted me saying that he suspects that my crush liked him and asked me if he should ask anything about it to her because of the way she was acting on the last day of school. The whole time, my friend was pushing me to tell her how I felt and helped me build up the courage and introduced me to the gym. I had known him since elementary school and he was honestly one of the best people I could ask for at the time. From the start, he barely talked to her having minimal interaction with her and kept saying that he caught my crush staring at me during class. Basically, I pushed him to do it since I was curious as well and he asked her. At this time I was in the airport and on the plane but turns out, she liked him and wanted to go out on a date with him. And all that âcaught staringâ was actually to him and not me. He asked me what he should do and I told him it was up to him so at first he said yes. I felt so betrayed, by her for even asking to go out with my best friend 4 days after it all went down, and a little by my best friend. In my clouded mind, I texted her saying what she did was a little fâed up (I donât know what I was thinking) and we had a small argument about everything.
Once all this happened, my friend was mad at me for going and texting her (as he should be) and he cut it off with her saying he was busy and just showed no interest. After the whole situation, my best friend just distanced himself from me, barely talking or texting me the whole time I was in a different country. I texted her saying whatever I did was unnecessary and that I felt bad. After a month and a half of having no contact with either of them, she texts me one random day that she wanted to end the beef. I texted her here and there but not as much as everything felt dry and as if I was forcing her to speak so I just gave up. I get back home and my best friend and I go to the gym once and for some reason I felt so nauseous (this had never happened to me before) and like I would collapse so I had to go home and I texted him as I was leaving the gym. That was basically the last time that I had any interaction with him until the next school year started. Once the school year started, I asked both my ex crush and my ex best friend about what classes I had and none of them were the same. From that day onwards, my conversations with my ex best friend was strictly about academics, nothing more. When it came to my ex crush, she posted something about her having a scare experience of some guys harassing her and I asked her to make sure everything was okay. After that for a few months (my dumb self wanted to do this for some reason) I texted her asking for help to get this other girl and said I needed her help. It was an awkward conversation and was so unnecessary.
After that I realized how dumb I was being and I stopped having any interactions with her and she texted me happy birthday so when it was her birthday I just texted it back. I won a competition as well so she said congratulations and all the things people do to just be nice. So that comes brings us up to my senior year. We got a couple classes together this time, Iâve caught her staring at me a couple of times myself and Iâve just made eye contact a few times. The only issue is, I donât know if she has a boyfriend or not and is talking to someone at the moment. For some reason, I started catching feelings for her once more with just barely talking to her. I donât know where it came from but I have no idea what to do. School just ended for me and I have graduation in a little bit. I plan on going to a different college (or the Air Force for a year depending on how everything pans out) while she is going to a completely different school than me out of state. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Should I just forget about it and try my best to move on or how should I approach going about this whole situation?
tldr: I got rejected by my crush 2 years ago and turns out she liked my best friend and we had an argument. Lost my best friend and was still trying to find ways to talk to her. Gave up for a year and half and now Iâm catching feelings again. We are about to graduate this week and will be off to different colleges. What should I do?
2024.06.09 15:53 throwawaylolhelppls The girl I got rejected by 2 years is back in my head. Iâm starting to catch feelings again, what should I do?
Let me start from the very beginning. I met this girl 2 years ago in one of my classes and she asked for my number for math help and we started talking. However, not one conversation was about math. We talked about life and other stuff (and obviously since we were high schoolers about our classes) and I started catching feelings for her. She told me what she enjoyed doing, asked questions and wasnât really dry (I felt like I was starting most of the conversations as I look back) and how she wanted me to join her in partaking in her hobbies and overall said a lot of things that made me believe that I had a chance. As the year was coming to an end, we planned on going to a movie (me, her, a few other girls and my best friend). I told her I wanted to speak about something to her a few days before we went and she called me for the first time and I was scared to pick up so I said I was busy and it was too important so Iâd save it for later. The day of the movie came and one of the girls knew what I wanted to do (turns out that girl had a crush on me) so she helped get the rest of everyone away for a little bit and left us alone. I chickened out and just made it awkward between us being too scared to say anything. After that, we all went to go get food and this was my last opportunity to say anything. So once more the girl came up with a reason to take everyone away and leave the two of us alone together and I built up all the courage I had and just said it. She said she never really thought of me that way and I was crushed and pretty sad for the rest of the time we were there.
That night, I texted her telling her that I might need some space and if it was okay with her if I didnât reach out as much for a few days. The next day at school, she was speaking to me in the third person and not even acknowledging that I was there (we sat right next to each other and we were working on something together with another person). I couldnât help but feel so alienated in the situation and feel like giving up right then and there because even though I did say that I wouldnât reach out as much, I didnât expect her to completely ignore me. Then the last day of school came around (I couldnât go as I had a flight booked that day to go out of the country) and she texted me âwe missed you todayâ as in her, the few other girls, and my best friend. That day, my best friend texted me saying that he suspects that my crush liked him and asked me if he should ask anything about it to her because of the way she was acting on the last day of school. The whole time, my friend was pushing me to tell her how I felt and helped me build up the courage and introduced me to the gym. I had known him since elementary school and he was honestly one of the best people I could ask for at the time. From the start, he barely talked to her having minimal interaction with her and kept saying that he caught my crush staring at me during class. Basically, I pushed him to do it since I was curious as well and he asked her. At this time I was in the airport and on the plane but turns out, she liked him and wanted to go out on a date with him. And all that âcaught staringâ was actually to him and not me. He asked me what he should do and I told him it was up to him so at first he said yes. I felt so betrayed, by her for even asking to go out with my best friend 4 days after it all went down, and a little by my best friend. In my clouded mind, I texted her saying what she did was a little fâed up (I donât know what I was thinking) and we had a small argument about everything.
Once all this happened, my friend was mad at me for going and texting her (as he should be) and he cut it off with her saying he was busy and just showed no interest. After the whole situation, my best friend just distanced himself from me, barely talking or texting me the whole time I was in a different country. I texted her saying whatever I did was unnecessary and that I felt bad. After a month and a half of having no contact with either of them, she texts me one random day that she wanted to end the beef. I texted her here and there but not as much as everything felt dry and as if I was forcing her to speak so I just gave up. I get back home and my best friend and I go to the gym once and for some reason I felt so nauseous (this had never happened to me before) and like I would collapse so I had to go home and I texted him as I was leaving the gym. That was basically the last time that I had any interaction with him until the next school year started. Once the school year started, I asked both my ex crush and my ex best friend about what classes I had and none of them were the same. From that day onwards, my conversations with my ex best friend was strictly about academics, nothing more. When it came to my ex crush, she posted something about her having a scare experience of some guys harassing her and I asked her to make sure everything was okay. After that for a few months (my dumb self wanted to do this for some reason) I texted her asking for help to get this other girl and said I needed her help. It was an awkward conversation and was so unnecessary.
After that I realized how dumb I was being and I stopped having any interactions with her and she texted me happy birthday so when it was her birthday I just texted it back. I won a competition as well so she said congratulations and all the things people do to just be nice. So that comes brings us up to my senior year. We got a couple classes together this time, Iâve caught her staring at me a couple of times myself and Iâve just made eye contact a few times. The only issue is, I donât know if she has a boyfriend or not and is talking to someone at the moment. For some reason, I started catching feelings for her once more with just barely talking to her. I donât know where it came from but I have no idea what to do. School just ended for me and I have graduation in a little bit. I plan on going to a different college (or the Air Force for a year depending on how everything pans out) while she is going to a completely different school than me out of state. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Should I just forget about it and try my best to move on or how should I approach going about this whole situation?
tldr: I got rejected by my crush 2 years ago and turns out she liked my best friend and we had an argument. Lost my best friend and was still trying to find ways to talk to her. Gave up for a year and half and now Iâm catching feelings again. We are both graduating this week and will be off to different colleges. What should I do?
submitted by throwawaylolhelppls to Crushes [link] [comments]
That night, I texted her telling her that I might need some space and if it was okay with her if I didnât reach out as much for a few days. The next day at school, she was speaking to me in the third person and not even acknowledging that I was there (we sat right next to each other and we were working on something together with another person). I couldnât help but feel so alienated in the situation and feel like giving up right then and there because even though I did say that I wouldnât reach out as much, I didnât expect her to completely ignore me. Then the last day of school came around (I couldnât go as I had a flight booked that day to go out of the country) and she texted me âwe missed you todayâ as in her, the few other girls, and my best friend. That day, my best friend texted me saying that he suspects that my crush liked him and asked me if he should ask anything about it to her because of the way she was acting on the last day of school. The whole time, my friend was pushing me to tell her how I felt and helped me build up the courage and introduced me to the gym. I had known him since elementary school and he was honestly one of the best people I could ask for at the time. From the start, he barely talked to her having minimal interaction with her and kept saying that he caught my crush staring at me during class. Basically, I pushed him to do it since I was curious as well and he asked her. At this time I was in the airport and on the plane but turns out, she liked him and wanted to go out on a date with him. And all that âcaught staringâ was actually to him and not me. He asked me what he should do and I told him it was up to him so at first he said yes. I felt so betrayed, by her for even asking to go out with my best friend 4 days after it all went down, and a little by my best friend. In my clouded mind, I texted her saying what she did was a little fâed up (I donât know what I was thinking) and we had a small argument about everything.
Once all this happened, my friend was mad at me for going and texting her (as he should be) and he cut it off with her saying he was busy and just showed no interest. After the whole situation, my best friend just distanced himself from me, barely talking or texting me the whole time I was in a different country. I texted her saying whatever I did was unnecessary and that I felt bad. After a month and a half of having no contact with either of them, she texts me one random day that she wanted to end the beef. I texted her here and there but not as much as everything felt dry and as if I was forcing her to speak so I just gave up. I get back home and my best friend and I go to the gym once and for some reason I felt so nauseous (this had never happened to me before) and like I would collapse so I had to go home and I texted him as I was leaving the gym. That was basically the last time that I had any interaction with him until the next school year started. Once the school year started, I asked both my ex crush and my ex best friend about what classes I had and none of them were the same. From that day onwards, my conversations with my ex best friend was strictly about academics, nothing more. When it came to my ex crush, she posted something about her having a scare experience of some guys harassing her and I asked her to make sure everything was okay. After that for a few months (my dumb self wanted to do this for some reason) I texted her asking for help to get this other girl and said I needed her help. It was an awkward conversation and was so unnecessary.
After that I realized how dumb I was being and I stopped having any interactions with her and she texted me happy birthday so when it was her birthday I just texted it back. I won a competition as well so she said congratulations and all the things people do to just be nice. So that comes brings us up to my senior year. We got a couple classes together this time, Iâve caught her staring at me a couple of times myself and Iâve just made eye contact a few times. The only issue is, I donât know if she has a boyfriend or not and is talking to someone at the moment. For some reason, I started catching feelings for her once more with just barely talking to her. I donât know where it came from but I have no idea what to do. School just ended for me and I have graduation in a little bit. I plan on going to a different college (or the Air Force for a year depending on how everything pans out) while she is going to a completely different school than me out of state. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? Should I just forget about it and try my best to move on or how should I approach going about this whole situation?
tldr: I got rejected by my crush 2 years ago and turns out she liked my best friend and we had an argument. Lost my best friend and was still trying to find ways to talk to her. Gave up for a year and half and now Iâm catching feelings again. We are both graduating this week and will be off to different colleges. What should I do?
2024.06.09 15:49 Additional-Notice-39 i feel bad for disliking my parents
I didnât necessarily have an abusive childhood but my parents have done and said things to me that I still remember and think âwhat the fuck???â that makes me wanna go non contact after i turn 18. My dad was an alcoholic during my childhood (still is) and I saw him do a lot of things to my mother when he was under the influence which made me harbor a lot of resentment towards him. Plus heâs so emotionally unavailable when heâs sober but when hes drunk its like thats when he wants to hug me and tell me how much he loves me and shit. But there are a select amount of times where he has said fucked up things to me while he was drunk. Also this one time he beat me and my sister with a belt till we had bruises on our thighs (i was maybe like seven and my sister was five or six but he acts like it never happened) My mother is the kind of mom to cry and say âwell i guess iâm a bad mother then.â when you call her out on things. One time on THANKSGIVING made a fat joke toward me in the most condescending voice, not to mention all the times she put her hands on me instead of talking to me like the supposed adult she is or when she acts condescending towards me and gets angry when i raise my voice at her so she puts her hands on me. They made me do online school and miss the middleschool and (half) highschool experience because of their own selfish worries so now i have no social skills and no real life friends. Also I know this whole thing isnt punctuated right iâm just ranting but i say all this to ask am i a terrible daughter for wanting to never talk to them again when i become an adult,change my name and move away? I have a different kind of distain for my mother but i feel like if i dont go to college and choose the path i want its gonna crush her at the end of the day but also i cannot stand her and blame her for a lot. (i dont mention my father here because he doesnât communicate with me on this topic much) My mom never had a prom or a graduation or went to college traditionally so i feel like by extension i should give that to her through me even though i know its unhealthy.
submitted by Additional-Notice-39 to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]
2024.06.09 15:23 CheeseDon18 Numb
This very well could be a topic for a different sub, but what really sparked this train of thought was my relationship to, well...relationships. (beginning of my little vent btw, it's not fully about romantic relationships)
Specifically romantic kind, how growing up I would have these feeling of crush (probably leaning twards squish) when I would be fascinated with a person, but I never have the sudden and raw urge to make it something. It could very well stem from insecurities I had as a pre-pubescent teen or just the fact that I never had the feeling of having a partner (also could be from being told to wait till marriage for thoes things). (Ps I do identify as aegosexual)
As I've gotten older, the feeling I would have twards people (in a vague romantic light anyways) was get less and less, as I've figured out emotions, and became mature.
And it's not just with thoes kinds of emotions, feelings of longing for someone have also never really been there for me. For example i had a parental figure growing up that wasn't a direct blood parent, but they were just as attentive in my life as one would be. When I was in my late tween, to reason unknowing of me, they had to leave, and during that process, of them getting in the car, crying while doing so, I felt nothing. It's honestly fucking frustrating how I can't feel anything.
My great grandfather passed years prior to that story, and the same case happened, where I saw how torn apart my grandfather became, and how the people around him also cried, but I couldn't even sympathize and feel his emotions. Fuck I couldn't even stand next to him.
I don't know if this is something undiagnosed in me that keeps me from feeling anything other than anger (usually when I get stressed I hit things) or temporary happiness, like when playing well in a video game or when I spoil myself and get a lego set or expensive latte.
I go though my life somewhat numb, but sometimes I show deep sadness randomly, like when I watch something that is vaguely sad, I start tearing up (and when i say vaguely i mean vaguely, like if a person is being kind or expresses being proud i tear up). Or when something is really sad (Specifically the movie "the whale") I break down crying, which could very well be pent up sadness from day to day.
Honestly sometimes I go though days on the verge of crying. I like to call myself pretty good at finding stuff about me, like how certain things in my past could have led to current issues or behaviors. But I still can't ignore the fact that I'm for some reason, on the brink of tears when I'm with myself.
And I do mean it's frustrating how I can't seem to express emotions like other people in my life do, or even the wanting to be with someone, like I'm personally fascinated with romance, how the feelings of longing and wanting to held by someone you trust and love, thoes emotions make no sense to me. And I don't intend to explore thoes because I don't feel compelled to do so.
submitted by CheeseDon18 to asexuality [link] [comments]
Specifically romantic kind, how growing up I would have these feeling of crush (probably leaning twards squish) when I would be fascinated with a person, but I never have the sudden and raw urge to make it something. It could very well stem from insecurities I had as a pre-pubescent teen or just the fact that I never had the feeling of having a partner (also could be from being told to wait till marriage for thoes things). (Ps I do identify as aegosexual)
As I've gotten older, the feeling I would have twards people (in a vague romantic light anyways) was get less and less, as I've figured out emotions, and became mature.
And it's not just with thoes kinds of emotions, feelings of longing for someone have also never really been there for me. For example i had a parental figure growing up that wasn't a direct blood parent, but they were just as attentive in my life as one would be. When I was in my late tween, to reason unknowing of me, they had to leave, and during that process, of them getting in the car, crying while doing so, I felt nothing. It's honestly fucking frustrating how I can't feel anything.
My great grandfather passed years prior to that story, and the same case happened, where I saw how torn apart my grandfather became, and how the people around him also cried, but I couldn't even sympathize and feel his emotions. Fuck I couldn't even stand next to him.
I don't know if this is something undiagnosed in me that keeps me from feeling anything other than anger (usually when I get stressed I hit things) or temporary happiness, like when playing well in a video game or when I spoil myself and get a lego set or expensive latte.
I go though my life somewhat numb, but sometimes I show deep sadness randomly, like when I watch something that is vaguely sad, I start tearing up (and when i say vaguely i mean vaguely, like if a person is being kind or expresses being proud i tear up). Or when something is really sad (Specifically the movie "the whale") I break down crying, which could very well be pent up sadness from day to day.
Honestly sometimes I go though days on the verge of crying. I like to call myself pretty good at finding stuff about me, like how certain things in my past could have led to current issues or behaviors. But I still can't ignore the fact that I'm for some reason, on the brink of tears when I'm with myself.
And I do mean it's frustrating how I can't seem to express emotions like other people in my life do, or even the wanting to be with someone, like I'm personally fascinated with romance, how the feelings of longing and wanting to held by someone you trust and love, thoes emotions make no sense to me. And I don't intend to explore thoes because I don't feel compelled to do so.
2024.06.09 15:22 No_Funny3533 Scam Artist mingmei1344 (Yomi) and her accounts at: Aiu_Agency, asiahug.com, datesteady.com, cudate.com, Jpndate.com, sayhiup.com, Rose, Miyuki Miyamoto, SW Entertainment and more
 | My name is Mark Faraday. I was just looking for love back around January 20th, 2024 but I donât want to see anyone else get scammed. I had a human profile picture when I was using these website, and was honest. I ran into a whole lying network run by a Woman, her friends, and a man. I will update this story if I have more to say in the future. Her nickname is Yomi, she told me her name was Miyuki Miyamoto and she was from Japan. Her real name is Jeong Nahyeon and she is from South Korea. She also has fake Chinese accounts like: submitted by No_Funny3533 to Romance_Scamer [link] [comments] Mingmei1344: https://www.instagram.com/mingmei1344/ Mingmeichan: https://www.instagram.com/mingmeichan/ mingmei1344 Mingmei Liu My Story is long but it is worth reading. From January to June as the writing of this post. I labeled each part so it easy to jump around to the parts you want to read.
Account 1: (Kawaii, Silly girl fake account) https://www.instagram.com/yuyu_only5/ yuyu_only5 Account 2: https://www.instagram.com/_yuyu_only5?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== _yuyu_only5 Yomi Newest Account: Chloee_asuna https://www.instagram.com/chloeee_asuna/p/C7kNkmzSIEi/?img_index=1 chloeee_asuna Jeong Nahyeon Lover or Friend đ(Scam Artist Man) đ https://www.instagram.com/_xijii_/ _xijii_ Jpndate.com the site where I met Yomi (Jeong Nahyeon) original, closed on May 1st 2024. Never came back as the writing of this post. However, their sister site DateSteady.com is still very active. https://www.datesteady.com/ datesteady.com Another Scam website they own: https://www.asiahug.com/ asiahug.com
There is this dangerous woman who I am mad in love with (same person) running many fake Chinese/Japanese/Korean Romance scam websites, fake Instagram pages, tik tok, We chats, and many Chinese porn sites. It is the same person, she uses her looks with pictures and videos to steal money from men. She has many names she goes by, probably even more than I found. She also uses bots to get fake likes and weird Anime filters to try to look like an idol. She has scam artist female friends also I found. She the leader. I know a lot of scammers steal from other people's identities but that is not the case here. This is the same person as the scammer. My story will explain it. As well as this person has pictures of the same person you canât find anywhere else on the Internet. Even if you do a Reverse Face image search. They said information that match to an unbelievable level. The person who Scammed me: Has Many names (Such As) And a talent for speaking many languages
yomi__na
la.nnnn930
hanhanhuwe
gracegracemei Email: [miyukilovee@outlook.com](mailto:miyukilovee@outlook.com) (Something about BlessCeline Lovee) Skype ID: live:.cid.737fb9ac2ad5655c
(Make Sense) u/mingmei1344 https://www.instagram.com/mingmei1344/ https://www.facebook.com/liuliu.meimingmei (Owner of aiu_agency since 2015) u/aiu_agency https://www.instagram.com/aiu_agency/
Google Drive (AI_U Agency) Hotel Connected: SHILLA STAY Gwanghwamun Her Scam Artist friends who work for both Ai_U Agency and JPNDATE CUDATE (That I found) (Some of these might also be her, not sure) Vynnie_nat : https://www.instagram.com/vynnie_nat/# (I think this Yomi friend and the next 2 images may also be that person 1 of 3)vynnie_natjiejierui_ngc: https://www.instagram.com/jiejierui_ngc/ (2 of 3)jiejierui_ngcVeravera_zhangg: https://www.instagram.com/veravera_zhangg/ (3 of 3)veravera_zhanggElle_owo_elle : https://www.instagram.com/elle_owo_elle/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)elle_owo_elleQiqi_shenglim : https://www.instagram.com/qiqi_shenglim/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)qiqi_shenglimMyemye_owo_ : https://www.instagram.com/myemye_owo_/ (50% this also Yomi otherwise it Yomi friend)myemye_owo_Her Friends are connected somehow but not sure how yet. They appear everywhere with the fake accounts or it just her also. Riyandiwilliam : https://www.instagram.com/riyandiwilliam/ (Either her lover, friend, or work with her) đSummary: January to March 2024Jpndate.com / Datesteady.com / Cudate.com / Sayhiup.com are dangerous Romance scams. All the women are paid actors for the website from Korea/China. They will try to get into a relationship with you very fast, donât fall for it. They are milking you for money like if you're a cow. They will threaten to kill you or your family if you call out their scam. They might also say they will sue you. If you stop paying them, they will text you very little. They will never video call you face-to-face. Jpndate.com has a sister scam website from the same people called sayhiup.com. When you buy something on Jpndate the payment goes to Cudate Limited, so that site must be part of the scam also.There also Datesteady with the same layout. There is a company in China doing all type of illegal and immoral practices. Their name is Zhengzhou Zhongzhiqi Technology Co., Ltd. / éĺˇĺ¸ä¸äšçĽşç§ććéĺ Źĺ¸ . They have their main technology business but they also run a list of many scam websites stealing money from American men, Asian, and European men. Such as Cudate, JPNDate, DateSteady.com, SayhiUp. These are romance scam sites where all the women work for the company. If you make a female account it will pend forever. Only men get approved. They claimed before to be an American-owned company then I exposed them now they claim to be Dutch. Their servers are all in China. They never filed paperwork with any foreign country. They are none of these the Chinese pretending to run many dating sites when in fact itâs all fake. They claim to be in nations their not. They have fake terms of service. I used PayPal before I didn't know it was a scam. I paid in dollars, but they refused to refund me till I told PayPal. PayPal made them pay me back. Then they refused to pay me the total amount they wanted to pay me on yuan when I paid dollars. I reported them to FTC. They also try to hack my laptop for me telling the government the truth about them. They probably get funds from the Communist Party government or SW Entertainment in South Korea. They are very very bad people. Please look into it or forward this message somewhere where it can be looked into. Pretends to be a legit dating site but feels more like a pay-to-use website for fake love. All women here are paid actors for the site. The same few women have multiple profiles pretending to be different people. The funny part is anytime you call out JPNDate bs they change their terms of service. Screenshot everything people. They have a fake page saying they're trying to stop scammers, it all bs they are the scammers. Host of JPNDate Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.242.112.134 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of DateSteady Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.242.47.54 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of Cudate Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.52.110.73 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) Host of AsiaHug Servers: IP: 47.242.112.134 - Server: nginx IPv4 GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) My Story: January to March 2024 My Story: January to March 2024 (Update): I know it is the same person, They told me in a text message by accident. They also replied with different accounts knowing info about me I only told the other account. Do you like Asian women? Real Asian women? These ones are real! I know who they are. Hi! This is Mark Faraday talking to you. This is my story of how a website named JPNDate Dancing Idol scammed me out of 4080 American dollars. From the time period of January to March 2024. First, I was on Japan Cupid, a dating site. On Japan Cupid, no one can chat unless one of you has a membership. I bought a 1-week membership. Within 5 minutes to 10 minutes, a woman nicknamed Yomi from Japan messaged me; this should have been a red flag for me. We talked for a while. She said she was interested in me. She asked me if I could move over to the dating site JPNDate because she paid for membership there and not Japan Cupid. She also promised to delete her account on Japan Cupid after we changed sites. She does delete her account off Japan Cupid. Japan Cupid is sus also. I donât think it is the same company but it is still very sus. However, these women used that site to find men like me. That is a story for a different day. Unlike a normal scam artist, who may only have 1 or 2 photos, she has several photos on her profile. My trust in her grows a bit seeing that. She then privately messaged me several more photos of her. She asked me for some photos, which I sent. She then sends back happy and heartfelt emojis. She told me she doesnât date Asian men anymore because they were violent to her in the past and her last boyfriend cheated on her. She talked about how she didnât want to fight with me. She also said we could talk about any topic. She would compliment me often, as I did for her. Of course, on my profile page, I try to post my best pictures. Throughout my life, I have had many different hairstyles. She even mentioned this and got very happy and asked if I was a hairstylist. The spam of talking on JPNDate.com between us was from January 20th, 2024, to March 24th, 2024. On JPNDate, there is an upgrade system. You need Blue Diamond to chat with others. Crown to send videos. Blue Diamond is 20 dollars per month, and Crown is 80 dollars per month. I got the Blue Diamond membership at first. It showed her with it too. After a day or two, she asked me to upgrade like she did to the Crown membership so she could send me a video. I upgraded it, and she did actually send me a video. All pictures and the video match the same person and the same face. Some pictures were in different locations, and some were like three different pictures in the same place. We then later buy a 6-month Crown membership for each other because it is cheaper than 1 month at a time. I bought it for her, and she bought it for me. At this point, I start to believe. This person was giving me all their time. They reply very often, and their texting time was the same as Japan timezones every single day. They spoke not only English but also Japanese almost fluently. However, they did let me know that they're still learning English and sometimes use a translator. She let me know that this website has something called a mall. This should have been red flag number 2. You pay 1 American dollar for each gold point. Paypal is the only thing that works. When we started dating, she said it was normal for couples in Japan to send each other gifts. It was a symbol of forever love in Japan, she claimed. As an American, I didnât know if this was true. I googled it and couldnât get a clear answer. She said whatever I bought her, she would buy me as well. She asked if I liked necklaces or charms. I said anything was fine. She wanted me to pick up a necklace. At first, she picked up a $1,000 necklace from the site mall and asked me. I said no; that's way too much money for that. She said how about a 300-dollar Jade Romance charm. She told me to get her white one; she would get me the green one. I questioned if she was legit. She started crying. She somehow convinced me at the time that she was legit again. I did buy it. A few weeks later, I did receive the overpriced Green Jade Romance love charm to my address from her. I never told her which day exactly my tracking information said it would come to my house, but I asked her, and her tracking date was the same week as mine. By the way something almost the same as this necklace is 12 dollars on Amazon. It also broke when I got it in the mail. Probably cost them 2 cent to make. For the next few days, we had a wonderful, happy conversation. It is late January, and I know Valentine's Day is coming. I offered to get her flowers. I got her flowers and chocolate at a very high price of multiple hundred dollars. She then gets so happy. She told me many times how she wanted to go to America and find me. We talked about many topics for several more days. She told me she worked in an office in Tokyo. Yomi told me her real name was Miyuki Miyamoto. Which is very funny because I told her before I was a Nintendo fan, and this is the same last name as Mario and Zelda Creator. She also said she had her apartment to herself, which is true; she does own an apartment. She talked about how life is stressful right now in Japan. She claimed to have grown up in the Japanese town of Nagano, Japan. She also said she had gone to a university in Tokyo with a major in computer science. She wanted to visit America in July for 15 days when she had her time off. July is a normal time for people to get off in Japan for vacation, so I thought nothing of it. I told her that I was from a smaller town in California, but I lived not far from San Francisco. I told her how my town is quiet and how I could see mountains outside my house. She said she wanted a peaceful life and that life in Tokyo is too fast. And she always had great things to say about every picture I sent. We also talk about going on dates. I asked most of the questions, but she did ask me questions as well. I started to ask her a lot of questions about Japan. Like if she visited Himeji Castle, she said no. However, she did say yes to visiting Mount Fuji. I should have asked for a photo of this, but I didnât. She was very happy; she told me very many topics about Japan. We even briefly talked about anime. She told me she liked Digimon, Dragon Ball Z, One Piece, and Detective Conan. This information is important later. We also talked about how both of us were big Disney fans growing up. She told me she wanted to go to Disney Land when she came to California to visit me. One day she told me, how work was busy today. I told her it was okay and we didnât need to talk today. She did, however, still text me a little bit that day. This was the only day during our whole time talking when she was super busy. There is nothing wrong with this; all humans get busy. I decided to spend my evening drawing a picture of me and Yomi on a date to surprise her. When I sent it to her, she did not react. This was a red flag for me. I tried to convince myself that she just didnât like drawings that much. I know I sound really dumb right here, but whoever I was talking to is very smart and knows a lot of things. I was in deep love. We started talking a few days later about the idea of meeting and going on dates together. I know that the yen is weak against the American dollar right now. I told them I would pay for anything they wanted when they were in America because I was in love. This was a big, big, big mistake. They then asked if I could give them 1500 dollars to buy a plane ticket. Never give money to people you never meet in real life, folks. Donât be dumb like me. Turns out the ticket was actually 2100, so they asked for another 500 dollars the next day, claiming their friend let them borrow the money, and they paid the difference. They did show me a picture of a plane ticket. With the name Yomi and the correct airports in Tokyo and San Francisco. This gave me more trust in them; I got a lot of photos, videos, and even a picture of a plane ticket. At some point, I talked to them about social media. They claim to only have Skype and Line. I found it very hard to believe a woman in her 20s wasnât on Instagram or Tik Tok. I went on Instagram and typed Yomi, and I found a Yomi who looked just like her. This made me think: why did she lie? What confused me is that all the pictures on her Instagram were different from the ones she sent me, other than one image that was the same. Meaning that the images were not clearly stolen from there. I looked up JPNDate online; there isnât much info on this website (Right Now), other than one reddit forum from 1 year ago. Someone said something about being scammed by an IDOL on this site. They also said the website wasnât in Japan but in China. I was wondering why I never saw new females joining the website; it was the same 23 pages worth of them. I wanted to test the website to see if it was legit. I made another account, a fake male account with AI artwork. It was approved in one second. I then made a fake female account; it said pending approval. It has now been 2 weeks since I made that account, and it still says pending approval. This means all the women on this website have to be fake actors. There is also a setting on JPNDate to see who has been online last or which accounts are the oldest. When I asked weeks before, Yomi claimed she had been on this website only for a short time. Her oldest picture was dated October 20, 2023. Yet she has the sixth-oldest account on JPNDate, according to the website. The Reddit forum I talked about before was over a year old. When I was on this website for a month, at least 10 other women tried to text me. There was this one profile of a woman from Taiwan, age 20. She texted me three times in one month. When I joined, her age was listed as 20, and at some point, she changed her age to 25 on her profile. I ignored all these women. This proves again that all these women are fake. I do know these are women based on how they type, but they are not truthful like they act like they are. As I write this, I just realized this is Yomi's friend or sister; it matches the other Yomi account's sister tag. They are part of the same dance agency Aiu_Agency on Instagram from SW Entertainment in South Korea. I knew this website wasnât telling the truth. I found the JPNDate IP address and tracked it to a server in Hong Kong, China, hosted by Alibaba cloud servers. Reddit was right; the website is Chinese. However, Yomi is Korean which I learned later. I took pictures of the website code just in case. I asked Yomi if she knew Alibaba. Then she asked if Iâm going to Chinaâa very strange follow-up question. At this point, I was confused. Who is Yomi? I couldnât find anything about Miyuki Miyamoto, only Yomi. On Yomiâs Instagram, she speaks Korean, not Japanese. I started to think there are no Japanese women on this website like they claim to be. She does speak Japanese, though. I started using more than 10 different software programs to track who Yomi was since she kept asking me for money. I found like 1000 pictures of an idol, WeChat model, singer, dancer, person on endless Chinese dating sites, and a valiant professional gamer part of the AIâU agency for over 8 years. I found two other Instagram accounts with Yomi's face. Another account in Chinese with an idol name other than Yomi also had a Facebook page. The Chinese account has a post about her going to Australia in early 2024, where she is typing in English words. It was a fake trip. I also found an account where she speaks only Korean on Instagram. I also found a tik-tok where someone dances and looks 100% the same as Yomi, to whom Iâm talking. The part that is crazy is that none of the images are 100% the same, but the person is the same in all of them. This shocked me; I follow all the accounts. I saw the stories daily to see who this person was. Her Yomi account is just her normal pictures and atm company or something. Her Korean account is about traveling to Singapore, Spain, and South Korea. She also posts a lot about Disney toys here. When I talked to the scammer about Disney, I had no idea about this. At this point, I knew that many men had been scammed out of money for fake love, not just me. These women are real women. However, there are actors pretending to be in love. They will crush your heart and call you names after a few weeks if you donât buy their stuff. It has to be from JPNdate Mall only, nowhere else. JPNdate Mall prices are crazy high. I am not sure if the point of the website is just for money or if it is actually for women to study English or what. Chinese women, pretending to be Japanese (most of them), that have connections to Korean music, dancing, and gaming on professional teams. Man, what a hell of a story this is. This sounds like a Hollywood movie, but it's real, or at least partly. At this point, everything I say seems to be true based on what I know. They are connected deeply with SW Entertainment. Yomi told me early on that she had one older sister and one younger brother. It seems like she is actually a twin, and she is the younger sister. Or itâs her friend she calls a sister from the dance Aiu Agency. Yomi claims to be 25, but I think she is closer to 27 or 28 based on finding a listing of her work in 2015 at Twitch Gaming. You have to be 18 or older to work at Twitch gaming, unless your parents sign things. Unless this job is fake, I donât know. When I showed the pictures I found to Yomi on JPNdate, she played the victim card on me. Saying she thinks Iâm a liar and she wants to break up. Then she gave me her Skype account to try to prove it was legit, and all the other images and accounts were stolen and fake. Her Skype name is Rose, with a One Piece picture. She sent me many voice clips, crying, trying to convince me that she was real. I put them in software, and the voice was 30% human, 70% AI. Clearly, a woman is changing her Chinese or Korean voice to sound Japanese. A PC gamer would know how to do this; they do it all the time to troll. Yomi told me she didnât play video games anymore, but I found a picture that wasnât that old of a woman who looked the same as her; she had a Nintendo Switch with a white OLED in it. Btw itâs a known fact that Yomi uses software to cheat in the Pc FPS games. We talk for a few more weeks on Skype. I canât let Yomi, her sister, whoever the man is (I think her lover), and her idol dance friends scam men for their time and money. Yomi Chiense's name is Vera Yuanxin (çť´ć). Her twin sister goes by veravera_zhangg. Yomi âdeleted her profileâ when I exposed her. But One Yomi is still there with no pictures. Two they clearly have other accounts with people who look like she just changed hairstyle, talking and trying to scam other men. Remember when I said the anime part was important? On Yomi's Korean account, she has a friend with whom she talks about Digimon. She gave him a Disney toy. She told me she wanted to cosplay a fox; his profile is a fox. There is just so much proof that these are the same people. Later someone hit me up on Reddit from the Phillippines and told me how the same person Yomi scammed them. How for months Yomi promise them so many things. Then when they said it came to going on the plane to visit him they said they were sick or dying or something. Yomi also made a fake Instagram pretending to be Joe Biden and sent me a friend invite. I messaged and it was so funny how bad it was on their part. I said âYomi are you trolling me?â then they deleted their account. This was on April 6th, 2024. Yomi tries so hard but use a lot of cheap things that are clearly fake like ai artwork, bots for like at ai_u agency, and fake profiles where she comments herself and attacks anyone who calls her out fairly. After exposing Jpndate they Ip ban my address lol. Then on social media joke about attacking me. If you call out their BS they threaten your family and yourself. Just stay away from all these sites if you're going to date online use well-known legit sites. I contacted Paypal and me and JPNDate.com had many emails back and forth. They pretended to do an investigation on Yomi real identity and said she was really Miyuki Miyamoto. It was so bullshit. I told them I would sue them if they were lying, The site no longer exists. The scam does, however. What happened After JPNDATE? April-June 2024 In April many fake Instagram accounts started following me each day. They are romance scams I never got them like this before. I didnât fall for any of them. All or most were likely Yomi and her friends. Paypal did get me 4000 of 4080 dollars back but it took 6 weeks and multiple emails. JPNDate tells me they will be closing soon after PayPal went after them hard. Like I said I just wanted to find love. I made some stupid decisions along the way. However, I want to find out the truth and make sure other men donât get scammed by them. I keep messaging Yomi's skype during this period, they never block me. They unfriended me but I could still send messages I wasnât blocked. They even responded 2 times out of the 50 times I did this in the multiple-week span. I contacted the Aiu_Agency on Instagram (It is the same people as JPNDate) they pretended to be different people. I told them about Jpndate. They called me a hero, they said they loved me, and they thanked me for sending them all the pictures that Yomi sent me on Jpndate and Skype. They follow me on Instagram for 2 days. Then they unfollowed me randomly for no reason. They said their agency would do a police report and kill the scammer. I knew this was so bullshit. I told them how the scammers were making new profiles of them on Japan Cupid. Which is true. The leader Mingmei1344 (Which is Yomi Chinese account) claimed I was the scammer setting them up. She plays the victim card on me. I showed her all the messages and how I got the pictures, I didnât steal anything. She told me her and her friends are okay if I hacked them, because Iâm from the CIA. I am not from the CIA. It was a joke I made a few days before when she pretended to be a mob boss in Korea. I told her I am not a hacker. Right after that she and her friends all ban me other then Mingmei1344 account. Mingmei1344 Message me 1 more day, then block me. However, Mingmei1344 and the Aiu_Agency keep posting things on topics I told them days or weeks before. I checked their old post they never talked about any of this before that. I told these to Yomi on JPNDate and skype not Mingmei1344 again proving it is the same person. They look the same as well. Like the blue feather concept in love mythology, Gundams, Nintendo, Persona, and many many other topics. Yomi claimed to not know anything about videogames before I talked about it with her. I think this is partly a lie. This confuses me so I make fake Instagram accounts to message Mingmei1344 and Aiu_agency. She replies to my messages and Mingmei1344 even does a ask me a question thing on Instagram and replies to all of them. She clearly knows these accounts are from me Mark however she replies anyway. The replies were nice and positive things. Then later she bans them all again. Often Aiu-Agency Women (Yomi and her friends, Mostly Yomi) pretend to go to countries they are not actually in the picture, itâs all greenscreen effects. They also use Ai for Music covers Artwork. For music covers they pretend to sell millions of copies of but there is nowhere to buy such a music cover CD they claim to sell. Their music covers are claimed to be from popular songs kpop songs. I looked, at least not right now such CDs arenât real. Of course, the songs are real but not their covers. Yomi is most of the women in the pictures but not all. They will post Ai cover artwork, multiple pictures of them using the greenscreen effect, then put a high-quality image of a famous Korean male singer. They never took these pictures of these Korean male singers. They download them and edit them. They pretend to perform with them but it is all fake. Mingmei1344 started always putting her with all the famous Markâs in Korea. Only her not her staff with Markâs. I think itâs a reference to me. She didnât do this before meeting me I looked at her old post. Again Mingmei1344 is Yomi who is Jeong Nahyeon, who pretends to be Miyuki Miyamoto. She still references me sometimes in other ways and I send them messages to see what will happen next. One time I wrote about loving her to see what she would say. I do love Yomi, however I donât want anyone to get scammed. I told her we could travel across the world together. She wrote in her next post on Aiu_agency on Instagram she liked this future with her future husband. It was a direct reply to what I asked the day before. I joined DateSteady after being contacted by a woman on Japan cupid. She is very interested in me and Yomi so I tell her everything. |
2024.06.09 15:08 jametalber AITA for telling my gf she won't get the score she's hoping for?
For context: My gf has been studying for the LSAT for months now, and has always had high expectations for herself. She wants to have a really exceptional score, but she's just not quite there. She has a good score, but it's not where she wants it to be and she's really dissapointed about that. Every time she would take a practice test, she would be hoping for a score way beyond where she could possibly score that day, and when she wouldn't get it, she would be devastated for days. This has happened many, many times.
Yesterday, she took the real test. She told me she felt good about it and said she really hoped she got a score way above where she's ever scored before. And I, not wanting her to be crushed when she got her score back, tried to lower her expectations. I told her, "You didn't get that score. I know that you got a great score, just not that score." What I said really hurt her, and she told me I was being an asshole.
I don't know what I should have done. I could have been kinder, gentler, and more sensitive, I realize that, and I've apologized to her for that. But I'm really not sure if what I said was right or if I was being an asshole.
EDIT: Thank you all for the unanimous replies and for helping me realize that this was so shitty. I really regret what I said. What can I do to make this right with her?
submitted by jametalber to AITAH [link] [comments]
Yesterday, she took the real test. She told me she felt good about it and said she really hoped she got a score way above where she's ever scored before. And I, not wanting her to be crushed when she got her score back, tried to lower her expectations. I told her, "You didn't get that score. I know that you got a great score, just not that score." What I said really hurt her, and she told me I was being an asshole.
I don't know what I should have done. I could have been kinder, gentler, and more sensitive, I realize that, and I've apologized to her for that. But I'm really not sure if what I said was right or if I was being an asshole.
EDIT: Thank you all for the unanimous replies and for helping me realize that this was so shitty. I really regret what I said. What can I do to make this right with her?
2024.06.09 14:52 Fine-Masterpiece-570 Am I delusional
Hi guys I'd like to start off by saying I'm leaving a lot of important details and parts out because I'm typing this on my phone and lowkey too lazy to explain everything in depth but obviously if you guys need a better explanation I'm always open to replying. Also this story might sound confusing so if there's any questions feel free to ask. Grammar also prob bad because I'm writing this at 4 am in the morning.
People in the story: I'm F, 18 Claire F, 19 Nina F, 18 Tiffany F, 19 Nina's boyfriend M, 18
Okay firstly, I'd like to start off with how we met.
(To be honest she is chronically on reddit too so she might or might not stumble across this post, but since meeting and getting to know her I've come to a shocking discovery that she doesnt really date people which makes me more attracted to her oddly enough)
For the sake of identity and anonymity I will be calling her Claire.
I met Claire through a friend who just happens to also be her bestfriend. We'll call her Nina. We're all first years in college and I met Nina through instagram lol. The lore of that goes deeper but to summarize it, over the summer before school started, a class page for incoming freshman was created so that people could connect, and find roomies. I saw that page as an opportunity to find potential friends that could match my interests. I stumbled across Nina's post and instantly knew I wanted to be her friend. Not in a weird, psycho, stalker way but I thought she was really pretty and her hobbies and interests were similar to mine. Summers passing and I have yet to reach out to her or messaged her, but we followed each other on instagram. That's when I saw Claire in her posts and stories, and Claire really caught me attention. She very beautifully, and her smile is very contagious. She has that natural beauty 'pretty' that just makes her so attractive. At first I didn't really think much of it because school hadn't started and I'm just tryna to enjoy my last summer before officially heading to college.
College rolls around and I finally move into my dorm, the first few weeks were light and I really enjoyed every orientation event. Weeks gone by and I still have never talked to Nina. I've made some friends along the way so I completely forgot about her. But during week 2 or 3 into the term I finally see her for the first time in real life, and next to her was Claire. At first I was too scared to approach them and say anything because they were walking in this big group of people heading into a resident hall. Me being oblivious and nosy, I go onto instagram and finally sent a message to Nina. The DMs were just like "omg I think I just saw you etc etc"
We finally get to talking on DMs but eventually the convo died after like 3 days. So I'm like damn, I don't know if this girl even wants to be friends with me. So I move on with my day. College is the time to go out and make connections too so I was heavily involved in clubs and events. I went to my very first club meeting around October, and standing in the center of the room I see Claire. Now at this point, Claire doesn't even know who I am or that I know Nina, but for some reason I felt like I know Claire. Again, I was too scared to approach her so I ended up leaving the meeting after it ended.
This all happened in fall term, so eventually I just forgot about both Claire and Nina. That was until winter term started, and I was enrolled in this one class. Coincidentally Nina was also in this class and that's how we officially met. (Final fucking ly) We ended up having the same hobbies, interested, etc. creepily we also share the same birthday and our best friends (Claire and my best friend we'll call her Tiffany) also share the same birthdays etc. Till this day we all think it's such weird coincidence but we jokingly call it an invisible string or whatever that theory is.
Back to the story, eventually we all become close around the end of winter term going into spring term (current term right now). Before, me and Claire would never hang out one on one, it always involved or included our other friend Nina and sometimes her boyfriend. And usually our hangouts consists of eating out, sports, studying, or video games. But lately, we've been doing more stuff together one on one and I seem to enjoy it a lot. We recently picked up a hobby of running. And we actually have a lot in common. My interests align more with Claire than with Nina and it's been obvious as the group is always on us for being so alike. Anywho, overtime i had developed a crush on Claire but it's not in a way where I'd date her it's more of an admiration way because I don't really date people and I kind of think relationships are gross lol which defeats the whole purpose of a crush or liking someone, but i genuinely like this girl but I can't seem to point a finger at why I'm feeling this way when I don't even like dating. To my surprise she is the same. From what Nina and her bf told me Claire isn't really about the dating life either. Anyways the story is probably getting confusing and you guys are like wtf, so idk this post might be a flop. Anyways, when me, Claire, Nina, and her boyfriend would hang out as a group Nina and her boyfriend would always tease us and say something about how I want to be like Claire or how Claire wants to be like me and they would bring up stuff like "you guys should just date each other since you guys want to be each other" and everytime I would deny and be like ew gross don't say that but deep down I high key liked the tease. At the same time I've never personally asked Claire or heard Claire come out hinting at her sexuality but Nina would say somethings and Claire would just sit there and laugh it off or agree. To be honest I'm scared to even ask Claire myself so I don't know. Anywho I've talk to my bsf tiffany about this and my bsf says Claire def give off gay, and me not wanting to assume I just brush it off and try not to assume or anything. So, now that me and Claire are starting to hang out on our own I feel like we've definitely got comfortable with each other. I would also like to add that we both hate physical touch but lately it just happens randomly where we would compare hand sizes and pay hand games like chopsticks or whatever it's called. I might be overthinking it and delusional but who knows. One night me and Claire go for a late night run and we stop to take a break in front of our schools memorial building. This building had a flight of stairs which lead to the front entrance so we walked up to find it locked so as we were walking down I missed a step and fell but not really, I lowkey hurted my ankle but that didn't stop us from finishing our run. When we finally made it back to our start point I went to sit on the field where I could lay down for a bit and just stretch my foot. Claire came beside me and we just listened to music together. She kept asking if I was okay and I reassured her but I could tell she was lowkey worried. Fast forward to the next day we go out to eat with Nina, her boyfriend, and in the car I was seated next to Claire and just the thought of her arm touching mine made me feel so at peace and comforting. After dinner we went back to my dorm and we all as a group took edibles and made slime high. At the end of our slime session I felt really tired but I wanted to stay awake to talk to them because we were having a convo about relationships and somehow the topic directed towards me was what is my type. I start yapping about how I don't really have a type blah blah and then Nina's boyfriend mention something about me liking white guys, and when that came out Claire's eyes widen and went "you like white guys like Tiffany too" (cause I once mentioned how my bsf tiffany is a Oxford study victim) and yeah so Claire got real questionable and started asking about me and my type and what my lore was. And about my relationships. And that's when I said I like people who are smarter than me (I did this on purpose because I know that Claire is extremely smart) so after I said that Nina's boyfriend was quick to his feet and said something along the lines of "wait Claire is literally smarter than you why don't you guys just date instead" and that's when I blurted out ew no that's weird. And all I saw Claire do was turn to me and stare directly at me. Almost like she was waiting for me to agree or say soemthing to reinforce that. Minutes go by and the convo kind of became awkward but we were still talking about relationships and what not. And everytime I swear when someone says something Claire would look at me first and wait for me to answer before she answers and that's just something that I noticed. Anyways I'm yapping just to yap right now I will end it here if you guys have questions or want a more in depth explanation just reply to this post. Surely I'm missing A LOT of details.
But yeah what do you guys think am I being delusional and weird, am I overthinking, or this girl might be interested in me
I forgot to mention, we recently started following each other on Spotify and one day after a lecture me and Claire both had she made me get this app called Airbuds where you can see what your friends are listening to etc. I didn't really know how to work the app but this one morning I woke up and opened the app I saw her recent listening activity and it was all songs from my playlist so i took a ss and sent it to her asking why she was listening to Taylor Swift LOLL cuz she doesn't listen to Taylor Swift and she said it's because she was stalking my playlists. And then the other night when we went running I told her to start a jam because she's always making me start one and as she opened up her Spotify I kid yall not I see my playlists in her recent listening activity and I was like shocked. Anywho she tried brushing it off saying it's because that's the playlist we normally listen to on our runs but that's not true because I don't play off those playlists when we run so it's kinda susđŤŁ. But yeah that's the end of the story I go sleep now.
submitted by Fine-Masterpiece-570 to Crushes [link] [comments]
People in the story: I'm F, 18 Claire F, 19 Nina F, 18 Tiffany F, 19 Nina's boyfriend M, 18
Okay firstly, I'd like to start off with how we met.
(To be honest she is chronically on reddit too so she might or might not stumble across this post, but since meeting and getting to know her I've come to a shocking discovery that she doesnt really date people which makes me more attracted to her oddly enough)
For the sake of identity and anonymity I will be calling her Claire.
I met Claire through a friend who just happens to also be her bestfriend. We'll call her Nina. We're all first years in college and I met Nina through instagram lol. The lore of that goes deeper but to summarize it, over the summer before school started, a class page for incoming freshman was created so that people could connect, and find roomies. I saw that page as an opportunity to find potential friends that could match my interests. I stumbled across Nina's post and instantly knew I wanted to be her friend. Not in a weird, psycho, stalker way but I thought she was really pretty and her hobbies and interests were similar to mine. Summers passing and I have yet to reach out to her or messaged her, but we followed each other on instagram. That's when I saw Claire in her posts and stories, and Claire really caught me attention. She very beautifully, and her smile is very contagious. She has that natural beauty 'pretty' that just makes her so attractive. At first I didn't really think much of it because school hadn't started and I'm just tryna to enjoy my last summer before officially heading to college.
College rolls around and I finally move into my dorm, the first few weeks were light and I really enjoyed every orientation event. Weeks gone by and I still have never talked to Nina. I've made some friends along the way so I completely forgot about her. But during week 2 or 3 into the term I finally see her for the first time in real life, and next to her was Claire. At first I was too scared to approach them and say anything because they were walking in this big group of people heading into a resident hall. Me being oblivious and nosy, I go onto instagram and finally sent a message to Nina. The DMs were just like "omg I think I just saw you etc etc"
We finally get to talking on DMs but eventually the convo died after like 3 days. So I'm like damn, I don't know if this girl even wants to be friends with me. So I move on with my day. College is the time to go out and make connections too so I was heavily involved in clubs and events. I went to my very first club meeting around October, and standing in the center of the room I see Claire. Now at this point, Claire doesn't even know who I am or that I know Nina, but for some reason I felt like I know Claire. Again, I was too scared to approach her so I ended up leaving the meeting after it ended.
This all happened in fall term, so eventually I just forgot about both Claire and Nina. That was until winter term started, and I was enrolled in this one class. Coincidentally Nina was also in this class and that's how we officially met. (Final fucking ly) We ended up having the same hobbies, interested, etc. creepily we also share the same birthday and our best friends (Claire and my best friend we'll call her Tiffany) also share the same birthdays etc. Till this day we all think it's such weird coincidence but we jokingly call it an invisible string or whatever that theory is.
Back to the story, eventually we all become close around the end of winter term going into spring term (current term right now). Before, me and Claire would never hang out one on one, it always involved or included our other friend Nina and sometimes her boyfriend. And usually our hangouts consists of eating out, sports, studying, or video games. But lately, we've been doing more stuff together one on one and I seem to enjoy it a lot. We recently picked up a hobby of running. And we actually have a lot in common. My interests align more with Claire than with Nina and it's been obvious as the group is always on us for being so alike. Anywho, overtime i had developed a crush on Claire but it's not in a way where I'd date her it's more of an admiration way because I don't really date people and I kind of think relationships are gross lol which defeats the whole purpose of a crush or liking someone, but i genuinely like this girl but I can't seem to point a finger at why I'm feeling this way when I don't even like dating. To my surprise she is the same. From what Nina and her bf told me Claire isn't really about the dating life either. Anyways the story is probably getting confusing and you guys are like wtf, so idk this post might be a flop. Anyways, when me, Claire, Nina, and her boyfriend would hang out as a group Nina and her boyfriend would always tease us and say something about how I want to be like Claire or how Claire wants to be like me and they would bring up stuff like "you guys should just date each other since you guys want to be each other" and everytime I would deny and be like ew gross don't say that but deep down I high key liked the tease. At the same time I've never personally asked Claire or heard Claire come out hinting at her sexuality but Nina would say somethings and Claire would just sit there and laugh it off or agree. To be honest I'm scared to even ask Claire myself so I don't know. Anywho I've talk to my bsf tiffany about this and my bsf says Claire def give off gay, and me not wanting to assume I just brush it off and try not to assume or anything. So, now that me and Claire are starting to hang out on our own I feel like we've definitely got comfortable with each other. I would also like to add that we both hate physical touch but lately it just happens randomly where we would compare hand sizes and pay hand games like chopsticks or whatever it's called. I might be overthinking it and delusional but who knows. One night me and Claire go for a late night run and we stop to take a break in front of our schools memorial building. This building had a flight of stairs which lead to the front entrance so we walked up to find it locked so as we were walking down I missed a step and fell but not really, I lowkey hurted my ankle but that didn't stop us from finishing our run. When we finally made it back to our start point I went to sit on the field where I could lay down for a bit and just stretch my foot. Claire came beside me and we just listened to music together. She kept asking if I was okay and I reassured her but I could tell she was lowkey worried. Fast forward to the next day we go out to eat with Nina, her boyfriend, and in the car I was seated next to Claire and just the thought of her arm touching mine made me feel so at peace and comforting. After dinner we went back to my dorm and we all as a group took edibles and made slime high. At the end of our slime session I felt really tired but I wanted to stay awake to talk to them because we were having a convo about relationships and somehow the topic directed towards me was what is my type. I start yapping about how I don't really have a type blah blah and then Nina's boyfriend mention something about me liking white guys, and when that came out Claire's eyes widen and went "you like white guys like Tiffany too" (cause I once mentioned how my bsf tiffany is a Oxford study victim) and yeah so Claire got real questionable and started asking about me and my type and what my lore was. And about my relationships. And that's when I said I like people who are smarter than me (I did this on purpose because I know that Claire is extremely smart) so after I said that Nina's boyfriend was quick to his feet and said something along the lines of "wait Claire is literally smarter than you why don't you guys just date instead" and that's when I blurted out ew no that's weird. And all I saw Claire do was turn to me and stare directly at me. Almost like she was waiting for me to agree or say soemthing to reinforce that. Minutes go by and the convo kind of became awkward but we were still talking about relationships and what not. And everytime I swear when someone says something Claire would look at me first and wait for me to answer before she answers and that's just something that I noticed. Anyways I'm yapping just to yap right now I will end it here if you guys have questions or want a more in depth explanation just reply to this post. Surely I'm missing A LOT of details.
But yeah what do you guys think am I being delusional and weird, am I overthinking, or this girl might be interested in me
I forgot to mention, we recently started following each other on Spotify and one day after a lecture me and Claire both had she made me get this app called Airbuds where you can see what your friends are listening to etc. I didn't really know how to work the app but this one morning I woke up and opened the app I saw her recent listening activity and it was all songs from my playlist so i took a ss and sent it to her asking why she was listening to Taylor Swift LOLL cuz she doesn't listen to Taylor Swift and she said it's because she was stalking my playlists. And then the other night when we went running I told her to start a jam because she's always making me start one and as she opened up her Spotify I kid yall not I see my playlists in her recent listening activity and I was like shocked. Anywho she tried brushing it off saying it's because that's the playlist we normally listen to on our runs but that's not true because I don't play off those playlists when we run so it's kinda susđŤŁ. But yeah that's the end of the story I go sleep now.
2024.06.09 14:33 LastWeekInCollapse Last Week in Collapse: June 2-8, 2024
The heat and the pressure are onâfor our planet, and for one more World War.
Last Week in Collapse: June 2-8, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/canât-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 128th newsletter. You can find the May 26-June edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
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Bengaluru broke a 133-year rain record by almost 10mm last Sunday, with 111mm (4.37 inches) of rain falling in a single day. In Sri Lanka, some 24,000 people were displaced by recent flooding. A heat wave swept through the southwest United States and northern Mexico. Part of Niger already broke its June temperature record. Parts of New South Wales, Australia broke nighttime temperatures as well; so did the Philippines, and Vietnam. And a heat wave in Greece.
âAtmospheric blockingâ happens when regions of the atmosphere remain stationary for days or weeks, imposing similar weather on a region for a while. A study released in Nature Communications looked at Svalbard, which is warming faster than the Arctic, which is itself warming faster than most of the rest of the planet. The researchers claim that atmospheric blocking has resulted in warmer & wetter conditions in Svalbard, which is driving its ice loss. âThe augmented blocking in the Ural and Scandinavian regions in the future combined with the projected declines in sea ice, and increases in sea surface temperatures and moisture availability, will likely increase the magnitude and frequency of exceptional rainfall incidents similar to the 2016 occurrence, posing further hazards to the population and ecosystems in Svalbard.â
A paywalled study in Nature Climate Change emphasizes âin the absence of a global tipping point there is no safety margin within which permafrost loss would be acceptable.â The summary states that permafrost melt does not have a worldwide tipping point, but rather several local temperature thresholds. Permafrost worldwide is expected to be all melted once global temperature gains hit 5 or 6 °C.
We are currently in the brief neutral period between El NiĂąo and La NiĂąa, expected to begin around August. Meteorologists expect temperatures in the eastern Pacific to decline for between 1 and 3 yearsâand for stronger Atlantic hurricanes. A 14-page report from the WMO forecasts a particularly wet summer for Central America.
Monsoon storms in Sri Lanka killed 14, mostly by falling trees, though others drowned or were covered by landslides. Texas saw âcanteloupe-size hailâ fall during a freak tornado; some think it is a record size for the region. Experts say some 23% of Africaâs land has been degraded, by five major factors: 1) invasive species, 2) climate change, including Drought and flooding, 3) resource extraction, 4) deforestation, and 5) pollution, including algal blooms. Poverty, population growth, and resource dependencies have aggravated the problem, says the article.
In Kashmir, a glacier Collapsed, sending three plunging into the ice, one of whom has still not been found. In the Philippines, a volcanic mud landslide swept into a village; volcano alerts were raised to 2 (on a 0-5 scale). Rising sea levels are displacing residents of one of Panamaâs islands (pop: ~1,200); others will follow. Greece is gearing up for a fierce wildfire season ahead. And, in a moment of hopeful news, Sweden is banning bottom trawling in its âmarine protected areas.â
In the EU, early polling appears to show a âgreenlash,â, a backlash to the Green Allianceâand perhaps a loss of some 30% of their 72 current seats in the EU Parliament (705 total). Some blame the âmoral superiority complexâ of Greens, while others believe it is their lack of compromise on important issues. Farmer protests also damaged Green sentiment; now future sweeping climate reforms will probably have to wait years to get passed, since conservatives are expected to make gains. Most results will emerge within 24 hours of this post.
Worldwide, 39% of environmental journalists have faced threats due to their reportingâaccording to a 112-page report by the Earth Journalism Network. Most of the threats came to reporters writing about illegal extraction operations.
Roughly 20% of sealife near the surface is expected to face a âtriple threatâ of climate hazards: extreme heat, oxygen loss and acidification. Some of these species will die in place; others will be forced into progressively smaller living spaces. Most of the danger lies in the northern Pacific. The full study in AGU Advances has more.
The UN Secretary-General announced that we are on the âhighway to climate hell.â And we arenât wearing any seatbelts. The EU Copernicus Programme says last May was the hottest on record. This means the last 12 months were the hottest on record, with each consecutive month setting a new monthly record. Our planet is supposedly on the edge of 1.5 °C temperature increase, but some think weâve already surpassed it.
The World Meteorological Organization (WMO) released a 27-page report, âGlobal Annual to Decadal Climate Update 2024-2028,â predicting short-term temperatures exceeding the 1.5 °C mark.
Mexico saw its first human case of a bird flu strain, H5N2, in a dead man supposedly with no known previous exposure to animals. Two turkey farms got outbreaks in Minnesota, and Iowaâs first dairy farm reported bird flu as well. American health authorities expect H5N1 human cases to rise in the coming weeks. Bird flu was also found in San Francisco last week. Millions of human vaccine doses for bird flu are being prepared for the United States this summer.
Citigroup says the United States is already in a recession, though other institutions disagree. Nevertheless, junk bonds are becoming even more junky, and economists agree that the economy is at least slowing down. Credit card debt is reportedly rising, and the âpersonal savings rateâ has dropped to pre-COVID levels. âAmericaâs debt accumulation over the last seven years is akin to the costs of a world war,â says the article. Cuts to the Federal Reserve interest rate are coming, and the rise of tariffs is unlikely to stop soon. And Europeâs strongest economy, Germany, is not seeing a strong recovery from last yearâs recession.
Thousands are starving in Ethiopiaâs Tigray region, where Drought and school dropouts have also worsened. Investigators claim in a new report that both sides in the Tigray War committed grave war crimes and âacts of genocideâ in the conflict, which ended (on paper, anyway) in November 2022; intercommunal violence continues at a lower intensity.
The American Heart Association released a report projecting the rates of heart illnesses by 2050, and they believe the rate of hypertension among adults will rise from about 51% in 2020 to 61% in 2060. Diabetes rates are expected to jump from about 16% in 2020 to almost 27% in 2050; and obesity rates will expand 17% to over 60%... A number of other heart conditions are expected to worsen as well, though at least high cholesterol rates are expected to decrease.
A 12-page report by Oil Change International says what we all know: most nations are failing to meet climate targets. âSome G7 countries are massively expanding fossil fuel production at home, while others are investing in more fossil fuel infrastructure abroad.â China is, far and away, adding more renewable energy capacity than any other nations on earth, supposedly adding âover 90% of all renewable capacity mentioned in NDCs {nationally determined contributions}â in the 2020s so far.
The U.S. FDA has unanimously recommended a new vaccine be developed to address the JN.1 COVID variant. Vaccine-manufacturers say that a new vaccine could arrive as early as mid-August. A 242-page prepublication report on the long-term dangers of Long COVID, with a view to planning future impacts on Social Security.
A number of current & former employees at OpenAI are warning of the careless pursuit of dominance of the artificial intelligence arenaâand the supposed 70% chance that AI could bring about âdoomâ for humanity. Some of the computer scientists believe that a general intelligence (AGI) could arrive as soon as 2027âa generation earlier than previous estimates of roughly 2050. "The world isnât ready, and we arenât ready," said one dissenting researcher.
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The intervention into Haiti is almost ready to go, but gangsters in Haiti have escalated attacks against police in advance of the Kenya-led operation, set to begin in a week or two. âThe gangs are just waiting for the Kenyans, theyâre just cracking their knuckles and stretching out.âŚItâs going to be a battle if not a bloodbath of a war, because the gangs are ready,â said one ex-diplomat. A new PM has been installed, Garry Conille, a guy who previously served as PM for 4 about months in 2011-2012. Gangs vying for power control roughly 80% of Port-Au-Prince; will they remain fragmented upon the arrival of an outside coalition, or make an alliance of convenience to oppose police intervention?
Although New Caledoniaâs state of emergency has ended, over $1B of damage has been wrought by rioters opposing an expansion of voting rights. Analysts say that the Pacific islandâs abundant nickel reservesâessential for Franceâs renewable energy pushâhave seen their extraction obstructed by recent events. A curfew remains in place, and social cohesion has been seriously damaged by the protests and the central governmentâs reactions.
President Biden issued new orders restricting the flow of migrants and asylum-seekers at the Mexico border. At the U.S./Canada border, migrant arrivals have spiked 1000%+ in the last 3 years. Days before the EU election, Portugal instituted stronger controls over immigration. On the Poland/Belarus border, a Polish soldier died, after being stabbed by a migrant from Belarus.
Georgiaâs controversial foreign agents bill has been signed into law despite strong protests from the masses. Some call the law a form of Russian hybrid warfare, though Russia contends that allowing foreign media funding functions as a kind of anti-Russian hybrid warfare on its own.
South Korea suspended a military agreement with North Korea over their waste balloons sent into the South. This will result in a more militarized border, outside the DMZ, in the coming months. President Putin is also planning a visit to Pyongyang, which has been long-supplying materiel to Russia for use in Ukraine. A border clash between Chinese and Indian forces took place in their contested mountainsâusing only sticks and stones.
Conditions in Gaza are said to be âbeyond crisis levelsâ for the 1M+ people who have been displaced from Rafah, as the Israeli advance continuesâdespite calls from the ICJ to halt the operation. âThe sounds, the smells, the everyday life, are horrific and apocalyptic,â said one observer. Killings in the West Bank have now exceeded 500 since October 7, and aid deliveries have sunk 65%+ since the Rafah offensive began. A strike on a school killed 45 people sheltering there, according to Gaza officials. In the coastal settlement of al-Mawasi, where many IDPs moved after the Rafah invasion began, toilets are so scarce that over 4,000 people share a single latrine.
The battlefield is expanding; in some ways, it has always been all-encompassing, and itâs only now that the world is re-learning it. Ukraine has sent soldiers to Syria to fight Wagner Group mercenaries operating in the failed state. Ukraine had earlier intervened in Sudan to combat Russian forces operating in the country. Ukraine also struck an air defense unit inside Russia for the first time, marking another escalation in the War. Russia struck Ukraineâs largest hydroelectric power plant in Dnipro, which is now in âcritical condition.â Russia reportedly intends to restart the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant at some point, though international regulators argue that it would be unsafe to turn Europeâs largest nuclear facility online while War still rages around it. Half of Ukraineâs electrical generation has been taken offline. Although weapons are reaching Ukraineâs frontlines, they are not enough to change the tide of the Warâand are still outnumbered by Russian soldiers & munitions. Ukraine is also crowd-sourcing 3D-printing drone parts to support their drone fleetsâa key part offuture modern warfare.
Russia also claims that French military instructors within Ukraine present a lawful military target for Russian forcesâand an opportunity to start WWIII. But others believe the flashpoint may come from elsewhereâTaiwan, or the unfolding Israel/Hamas/Hezbollah/Iran conflict, which are intensifying on the Lebanon/Israel border. Russia is also taking over Nigerâs uranium reserves, once held by a French corporation. And four Russian sea vessels will be visiting Cubaâbut not carrying nuclear weapons.
Around Sudanâs capital, looters, checkpoints, and violence have been established. Several torture chambers have been discovered, and the smell of death hangs in the air of a few neighborhoods, contested by both sides. The number of displaced people is approaching 10M. Russia is supposedly playing both sides to its advantage. âAll over Sudan, people are going hungry because they have lost everything, the economy has collapsed, and armed men frequently steal what little aid is available,â said one reporter. The insurgent RSF forces are said to not only be fighting for the future, but fighting over history as well. The National Museum has become a cemetery for RSF fighters. University archives have been burned. And ancient artifacts have been cleared out, sold to mysterious buyers, stashed away in unknown places, or simply destroyed⌠Other horror stories are still emerging; this article details some of the worst recent tales in the War.
One major NATO supplies provider claims that a decade of arms accumulation is coming, to replenish stockpiles given to Ukraine and in advance of a potential open War between China and whatever western nations decide to participate. China announced its intention to detain vessels moving into its alleged national waters near the Philippinesâand presumably to sink those which resist. Ukraine used up six yearsâ worth of shoulder-fired missiles, like javelins, in just one year. The development of the F-35 will exceed $2T, although the U.S. military is planning on using it less than previously expected. NATO is also planning its rapid-transit troop corridors through Europe to the expected frontlines of a potential open War against Russia.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-It is a common refrain that the education system is a bellwether for Collapse. It is also a symbolâalongside our food system, plastic dependency, state militaries, and many other institutionsâof how difficult it apparently is to change course. The institutional friction and incentives are burnt in. This detailed post on the (American) school system and the âmetacrisisâ and much more. Several thorough comments build on the OPâs thesis. Peek into teachers for a glimpse into our doomed future.
-People in southern California are evidently closing their eyes and ears to Collapse, if this weekly observation is to be believed. The author writes about their unfulfilled hope that humanity might turn the ship around during the COVID period, cognitive biases, the persistence of COVID denial, plastics, and the early burning sun.
-Society is closing in on a Doom-Awakening, says the comments on this post. Some disagree (see the above observation).
-Nothing works, and everything is breakingâsay many terrific comments in this self-post about the lack of empathy, passion, quality products, and the atrocious job market.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, hurricane advice, bird flu tips, cheap off-grid land, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you donât want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone elseâs) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?
submitted by LastWeekInCollapse to collapse [link] [comments]
Last Week in Collapse: June 2-8, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/canât-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 128th newsletter. You can find the May 26-June edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
ââââââââââ
Bengaluru broke a 133-year rain record by almost 10mm last Sunday, with 111mm (4.37 inches) of rain falling in a single day. In Sri Lanka, some 24,000 people were displaced by recent flooding. A heat wave swept through the southwest United States and northern Mexico. Part of Niger already broke its June temperature record. Parts of New South Wales, Australia broke nighttime temperatures as well; so did the Philippines, and Vietnam. And a heat wave in Greece.
âAtmospheric blockingâ happens when regions of the atmosphere remain stationary for days or weeks, imposing similar weather on a region for a while. A study released in Nature Communications looked at Svalbard, which is warming faster than the Arctic, which is itself warming faster than most of the rest of the planet. The researchers claim that atmospheric blocking has resulted in warmer & wetter conditions in Svalbard, which is driving its ice loss. âThe augmented blocking in the Ural and Scandinavian regions in the future combined with the projected declines in sea ice, and increases in sea surface temperatures and moisture availability, will likely increase the magnitude and frequency of exceptional rainfall incidents similar to the 2016 occurrence, posing further hazards to the population and ecosystems in Svalbard.â
A paywalled study in Nature Climate Change emphasizes âin the absence of a global tipping point there is no safety margin within which permafrost loss would be acceptable.â The summary states that permafrost melt does not have a worldwide tipping point, but rather several local temperature thresholds. Permafrost worldwide is expected to be all melted once global temperature gains hit 5 or 6 °C.
We are currently in the brief neutral period between El NiĂąo and La NiĂąa, expected to begin around August. Meteorologists expect temperatures in the eastern Pacific to decline for between 1 and 3 yearsâand for stronger Atlantic hurricanes. A 14-page report from the WMO forecasts a particularly wet summer for Central America.
Monsoon storms in Sri Lanka killed 14, mostly by falling trees, though others drowned or were covered by landslides. Texas saw âcanteloupe-size hailâ fall during a freak tornado; some think it is a record size for the region. Experts say some 23% of Africaâs land has been degraded, by five major factors: 1) invasive species, 2) climate change, including Drought and flooding, 3) resource extraction, 4) deforestation, and 5) pollution, including algal blooms. Poverty, population growth, and resource dependencies have aggravated the problem, says the article.
In Kashmir, a glacier Collapsed, sending three plunging into the ice, one of whom has still not been found. In the Philippines, a volcanic mud landslide swept into a village; volcano alerts were raised to 2 (on a 0-5 scale). Rising sea levels are displacing residents of one of Panamaâs islands (pop: ~1,200); others will follow. Greece is gearing up for a fierce wildfire season ahead. And, in a moment of hopeful news, Sweden is banning bottom trawling in its âmarine protected areas.â
In the EU, early polling appears to show a âgreenlash,â, a backlash to the Green Allianceâand perhaps a loss of some 30% of their 72 current seats in the EU Parliament (705 total). Some blame the âmoral superiority complexâ of Greens, while others believe it is their lack of compromise on important issues. Farmer protests also damaged Green sentiment; now future sweeping climate reforms will probably have to wait years to get passed, since conservatives are expected to make gains. Most results will emerge within 24 hours of this post.
Worldwide, 39% of environmental journalists have faced threats due to their reportingâaccording to a 112-page report by the Earth Journalism Network. Most of the threats came to reporters writing about illegal extraction operations.
Roughly 20% of sealife near the surface is expected to face a âtriple threatâ of climate hazards: extreme heat, oxygen loss and acidification. Some of these species will die in place; others will be forced into progressively smaller living spaces. Most of the danger lies in the northern Pacific. The full study in AGU Advances has more.
The UN Secretary-General announced that we are on the âhighway to climate hell.â And we arenât wearing any seatbelts. The EU Copernicus Programme says last May was the hottest on record. This means the last 12 months were the hottest on record, with each consecutive month setting a new monthly record. Our planet is supposedly on the edge of 1.5 °C temperature increase, but some think weâve already surpassed it.
The World Meteorological Organization (WMO) released a 27-page report, âGlobal Annual to Decadal Climate Update 2024-2028,â predicting short-term temperatures exceeding the 1.5 °C mark.
âThe global mean near-surface temperature for each year between 2024 and 2028 is predicted to be between 1.1°C and 1.9°C higher than the average over the years 1850-1900. It is likely (80% chance) that global mean near-surface temperature will exceed 1.5°C above the 1850-1900 average levels for at least one year between 2024 and 2028. It is about as likely as not (47%) that the five-year mean will exceed this thresholdâŚ.Arctic warming over the next five extended winters (November to March), relative to the average of the 1991-2020 period, is predicted to be more than three times as large as the warming in global mean temperature. Predicted precipitation patterns for 2024, relative to the 1991-2020 average, suggest an increased chance of low rainfall over North-East Brazil and an increased chance of wet conditions in the African Sahel, consistent with the warmer-than-usual temperatures in the North AtlanticâŚ.The Yale Center for Environmental Law & Policy released its 2024 Environmental Policy Index, and the 204 pages illustrate the state of sustainability in 180 countries, according to 58 indicators. The document, full of useful graphics and accessible summaries, presents a world in escalating danger of global heating, pollution, and biodiversity loss. It is well worth skimming. These kinds of climate reports usually seem to me like, overall, much more time was spent making them than people spend reading themâŚ
âOnly five countries â Estonia, Finland, Greece, Timor-Leste, and the United Kingdom â cut their GHG emissions at the rate needed to reach zero by 2050âŚ.After climate change, biodiversity loss has emerged as the most serious and irreversible environmental crisisâŚ.As of 2022, aggregated GHG emissions were falling in 60 countries but still rising in 128âŚ. Human activities, namely the combustion of fossil fuels, of which CO2 is an inevitable byproduct, have caused a nearly 50 percent of the increase in CO2 levels in the atmosphere since the industrial revolution, with atmospheric concentration surpassing 426 parts per million in April 2024 â a level higher than at any point in human historyâŚ.China, the United States, and India are pivotal, accounting for over half of global GHG emissionsâŚChina used more cement in two years (2020 and 2021) than the United States did in the entire twentieth centuryâŚ.Air pollution remains the most serious environmental threat to public health. Long-term exposure to fine particulate matter less than 2.5 Âľm in diameter (PM2.5) caused 7.8 million premature deaths in 2021, close to 12 percent of global deathsâŚâ -selections from the first third of the reportââââââââââ
Mexico saw its first human case of a bird flu strain, H5N2, in a dead man supposedly with no known previous exposure to animals. Two turkey farms got outbreaks in Minnesota, and Iowaâs first dairy farm reported bird flu as well. American health authorities expect H5N1 human cases to rise in the coming weeks. Bird flu was also found in San Francisco last week. Millions of human vaccine doses for bird flu are being prepared for the United States this summer.
Citigroup says the United States is already in a recession, though other institutions disagree. Nevertheless, junk bonds are becoming even more junky, and economists agree that the economy is at least slowing down. Credit card debt is reportedly rising, and the âpersonal savings rateâ has dropped to pre-COVID levels. âAmericaâs debt accumulation over the last seven years is akin to the costs of a world war,â says the article. Cuts to the Federal Reserve interest rate are coming, and the rise of tariffs is unlikely to stop soon. And Europeâs strongest economy, Germany, is not seeing a strong recovery from last yearâs recession.
Thousands are starving in Ethiopiaâs Tigray region, where Drought and school dropouts have also worsened. Investigators claim in a new report that both sides in the Tigray War committed grave war crimes and âacts of genocideâ in the conflict, which ended (on paper, anyway) in November 2022; intercommunal violence continues at a lower intensity.
The American Heart Association released a report projecting the rates of heart illnesses by 2050, and they believe the rate of hypertension among adults will rise from about 51% in 2020 to 61% in 2060. Diabetes rates are expected to jump from about 16% in 2020 to almost 27% in 2050; and obesity rates will expand 17% to over 60%... A number of other heart conditions are expected to worsen as well, though at least high cholesterol rates are expected to decrease.
A 12-page report by Oil Change International says what we all know: most nations are failing to meet climate targets. âSome G7 countries are massively expanding fossil fuel production at home, while others are investing in more fossil fuel infrastructure abroad.â China is, far and away, adding more renewable energy capacity than any other nations on earth, supposedly adding âover 90% of all renewable capacity mentioned in NDCs {nationally determined contributions}â in the 2020s so far.
The U.S. FDA has unanimously recommended a new vaccine be developed to address the JN.1 COVID variant. Vaccine-manufacturers say that a new vaccine could arrive as early as mid-August. A 242-page prepublication report on the long-term dangers of Long COVID, with a view to planning future impacts on Social Security.
âEven individuals with a mild initial course of illness can develop Long COVID with severe health effectsâŚ.Women are twice as likely as men to experience Long COVIDâŚ.Long COVID can cause more than 200 symptoms and affects each person differentlyâŚ.There currently is no curative treatment for Long COVID itself. Management of the condition is based on current knowledge about treating the associated health effects and other sequelaeâŚ.Long COVID symptoms generally improve over time, although preliminary studies suggest that recover can plateau 6-12 months after acute infection. Studies have shown that only 18-22 percent of those who have persistent symptoms at 5-6 months following infection have fully recovered by 1 year. Among those who do not improve, most remain stable, but some worsen.â -selections from the study summaryGermany reported African swine flu in some pigs in the northeast. Monkeypox cases remain in the United States, and at higher rates than last year, despite waning media coverage. And four strains of dengue fever, yes four, are still sweeping through Brazil with no end in sight.
A number of current & former employees at OpenAI are warning of the careless pursuit of dominance of the artificial intelligence arenaâand the supposed 70% chance that AI could bring about âdoomâ for humanity. Some of the computer scientists believe that a general intelligence (AGI) could arrive as soon as 2027âa generation earlier than previous estimates of roughly 2050. "The world isnât ready, and we arenât ready," said one dissenting researcher.
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The intervention into Haiti is almost ready to go, but gangsters in Haiti have escalated attacks against police in advance of the Kenya-led operation, set to begin in a week or two. âThe gangs are just waiting for the Kenyans, theyâre just cracking their knuckles and stretching out.âŚItâs going to be a battle if not a bloodbath of a war, because the gangs are ready,â said one ex-diplomat. A new PM has been installed, Garry Conille, a guy who previously served as PM for 4 about months in 2011-2012. Gangs vying for power control roughly 80% of Port-Au-Prince; will they remain fragmented upon the arrival of an outside coalition, or make an alliance of convenience to oppose police intervention?
Although New Caledoniaâs state of emergency has ended, over $1B of damage has been wrought by rioters opposing an expansion of voting rights. Analysts say that the Pacific islandâs abundant nickel reservesâessential for Franceâs renewable energy pushâhave seen their extraction obstructed by recent events. A curfew remains in place, and social cohesion has been seriously damaged by the protests and the central governmentâs reactions.
President Biden issued new orders restricting the flow of migrants and asylum-seekers at the Mexico border. At the U.S./Canada border, migrant arrivals have spiked 1000%+ in the last 3 years. Days before the EU election, Portugal instituted stronger controls over immigration. On the Poland/Belarus border, a Polish soldier died, after being stabbed by a migrant from Belarus.
Georgiaâs controversial foreign agents bill has been signed into law despite strong protests from the masses. Some call the law a form of Russian hybrid warfare, though Russia contends that allowing foreign media funding functions as a kind of anti-Russian hybrid warfare on its own.
South Korea suspended a military agreement with North Korea over their waste balloons sent into the South. This will result in a more militarized border, outside the DMZ, in the coming months. President Putin is also planning a visit to Pyongyang, which has been long-supplying materiel to Russia for use in Ukraine. A border clash between Chinese and Indian forces took place in their contested mountainsâusing only sticks and stones.
Conditions in Gaza are said to be âbeyond crisis levelsâ for the 1M+ people who have been displaced from Rafah, as the Israeli advance continuesâdespite calls from the ICJ to halt the operation. âThe sounds, the smells, the everyday life, are horrific and apocalyptic,â said one observer. Killings in the West Bank have now exceeded 500 since October 7, and aid deliveries have sunk 65%+ since the Rafah offensive began. A strike on a school killed 45 people sheltering there, according to Gaza officials. In the coastal settlement of al-Mawasi, where many IDPs moved after the Rafah invasion began, toilets are so scarce that over 4,000 people share a single latrine.
The battlefield is expanding; in some ways, it has always been all-encompassing, and itâs only now that the world is re-learning it. Ukraine has sent soldiers to Syria to fight Wagner Group mercenaries operating in the failed state. Ukraine had earlier intervened in Sudan to combat Russian forces operating in the country. Ukraine also struck an air defense unit inside Russia for the first time, marking another escalation in the War. Russia struck Ukraineâs largest hydroelectric power plant in Dnipro, which is now in âcritical condition.â Russia reportedly intends to restart the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant at some point, though international regulators argue that it would be unsafe to turn Europeâs largest nuclear facility online while War still rages around it. Half of Ukraineâs electrical generation has been taken offline. Although weapons are reaching Ukraineâs frontlines, they are not enough to change the tide of the Warâand are still outnumbered by Russian soldiers & munitions. Ukraine is also crowd-sourcing 3D-printing drone parts to support their drone fleetsâa key part of
Russia also claims that French military instructors within Ukraine present a lawful military target for Russian forcesâand an opportunity to start WWIII. But others believe the flashpoint may come from elsewhereâTaiwan, or the unfolding Israel/Hamas/Hezbollah/Iran conflict, which are intensifying on the Lebanon/Israel border. Russia is also taking over Nigerâs uranium reserves, once held by a French corporation. And four Russian sea vessels will be visiting Cubaâbut not carrying nuclear weapons.
Around Sudanâs capital, looters, checkpoints, and violence have been established. Several torture chambers have been discovered, and the smell of death hangs in the air of a few neighborhoods, contested by both sides. The number of displaced people is approaching 10M. Russia is supposedly playing both sides to its advantage. âAll over Sudan, people are going hungry because they have lost everything, the economy has collapsed, and armed men frequently steal what little aid is available,â said one reporter. The insurgent RSF forces are said to not only be fighting for the future, but fighting over history as well. The National Museum has become a cemetery for RSF fighters. University archives have been burned. And ancient artifacts have been cleared out, sold to mysterious buyers, stashed away in unknown places, or simply destroyed⌠Other horror stories are still emerging; this article details some of the worst recent tales in the War.
One major NATO supplies provider claims that a decade of arms accumulation is coming, to replenish stockpiles given to Ukraine and in advance of a potential open War between China and whatever western nations decide to participate. China announced its intention to detain vessels moving into its alleged national waters near the Philippinesâand presumably to sink those which resist. Ukraine used up six yearsâ worth of shoulder-fired missiles, like javelins, in just one year. The development of the F-35 will exceed $2T, although the U.S. military is planning on using it less than previously expected. NATO is also planning its rapid-transit troop corridors through Europe to the expected frontlines of a potential open War against Russia.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-It is a common refrain that the education system is a bellwether for Collapse. It is also a symbolâalongside our food system, plastic dependency, state militaries, and many other institutionsâof how difficult it apparently is to change course. The institutional friction and incentives are burnt in. This detailed post on the (American) school system and the âmetacrisisâ and much more. Several thorough comments build on the OPâs thesis. Peek into teachers for a glimpse into our doomed future.
-People in southern California are evidently closing their eyes and ears to Collapse, if this weekly observation is to be believed. The author writes about their unfulfilled hope that humanity might turn the ship around during the COVID period, cognitive biases, the persistence of COVID denial, plastics, and the early burning sun.
-Society is closing in on a Doom-Awakening, says the comments on this post. Some disagree (see the above observation).
-Nothing works, and everything is breakingâsay many terrific comments in this self-post about the lack of empathy, passion, quality products, and the atrocious job market.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, hurricane advice, bird flu tips, cheap off-grid land, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you donât want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone elseâs) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?
2024.06.09 14:13 NoSuccotash656 [F20][M26] LDR ghosted me after a year to see someone else, came back after 5 months, we reconnected then ghosted me again after 5 more months. Did I do something wrong? Should I have taken more initiative?
The whole story is very long, I will try to provide more detail if anyone needs them
I can't remember exactly when we met but it was about 2 years ago when she started texting me on social media. I was reluctant for a while but she was very persistent and like a month in I caved and we fell for each other. We would start chatting everyday, watch movies over discord at least once a week, sometimes we just do regular calls/videos calls too. We had so much in common and we really clicked well together, she seemed completely infatuated with me at times which was flattering. You all know how it is
During this time we were both hoping to meet in the near future, a topic we talked about now and then. The plan was she would come to me, but her visa got declined, mine did too for her country. but regardless I just did not feel like I was ready to go anywhere at that point, I typically don't travel and I didn't exactly have time and money at the moment either to fly to a country to meet a girl who I didn't even feel like I fully knew at the time. She did understand me and said that it was not a problem, and we figured we could focus on what we have now and just be long distance until the time was ready. At the same time she would sometimes mention that she was impatient and wanted to be with me in person, and I wanted that too, but the circumstances just didn't allow it at the time.
Then almost one year had passed since we met when she just stopped responding to me without any heads up. The day prior we had been watching a movie together and we had talked romantically until late at night. That first week when she didn't respond to me was just terrible, I had so many sleepless nights, lying awake just thinking the worst, hoping that I would wake up the next day and see her messages, but it never happened. After like 2-3 weeks of her silence, I just removed her from my contacts and moved on with my life and was in a brief relationship with another girl.
Then about a month before Christmas I decided to send her a message to see what was up, and she actually responded but acted like nothing had happened and we just started casually chatting again, but she was like a different person, very distant, she looked kinda different too. Then a few days before Christmas she started lovebombing me, telling me how much she appreciated me, how much I meant to her, how I was the only one that cared about her etc. the day before Christmas she had tried calling me several times but I had not noticed as I was busy running errands for my sister. I tried to call her back with no response and later she just told me it was "nothing", so I will never know what she wanted that night.
Chatting went on, a little more often now but still not as much as before, there just wasn't the same connection there and honestly I felt unsure and suspicious of her so eventually asked her why she ghosted me. She was reluctant to actually talk about it and explain her side, but from what I understand she said it was because she felt like there was no hope for us meeting anyway, she was getting impatient, that even if we did meet it would only be temporary, that she was lonely and since I wasn't there she figured she should just try to meet someone else. She also said "I'm not getting any younger" whatever that is suppose to mean.
We talked a bit about it, she told me that summer she ghosted me she had gone on a road trip to a resort with a seemingly "random" guy she met online. They stayed there for a weekend, but she insisted they she didn't have any feelings for him and they didn't sleep in the same bed, which sounds like bullshit. Nobody goes on some romantic getaway to a resort with a guy they don't even have feelings for and they certainly don't refrain from being intimate in that scenario.
This made me feel upset, not because she was with someone else, I understand that people fall out of love and in LDR's the waiting and lack of physical intimacy can be very hard to deal with, so I don't blame her for wanting that. What made me upset is the fact she didn't communicate this with me or even gave me the courtesy of a proper breakup or goodbye, but instead just told me everything was fine and then left me for another guy that she supposedly didn't even have feelings for. That really, really hurt. On top of that, she was clearly lying about the details to make it seem like it wasn't anything serious and expecting me to just brush it all under the rug. Naturally I told her how I felt, I didn't blame her or get mad at her or anything, just told her how her actions made me feel, and this made her mad at me and she called me possessive and a "drama queen".
Then some days later she started talking about how she was going back to her hometown for some errands and she might meet with an old classmate that had a crush on her, I asked her why she was telling me this and she asked me if it would make me jealous. I said I didn't care, even thought it felt weird she would even tell me this. Then a few days later she said she was going to visit her brother in another city, when I asked her why she wasn't going to her hometown instead, she just told me she wasn't actually doing that at all and that I should be paying more attention to what she is saying.
As if I shouldn't have picked up on it before, it was obvious she was going to see that guy but wanted to cover her tracks and hide it from me so she could keep stringing me along. I then just straight up asked her if she still had feelings for me, she said I was "very dear" to her. So I asked if she still loved me and then she just got mad at me and never said she loved me.
Then she left for her trip and I felt that was that, I removed her for good now, but I feel so very confused and even stupid for hanging around her for so long, I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't feel horrible for her leaving me like she did, it really did hurt and I still feel that even though it's been a while. But what bothers me is that I have a hard time understanding why it even happened. Did I do anything wrong? Should I have just tried harder to go and see her?
I'm just confused and I feel like I screwed up, but at the same time I don't understand why she didn't just tell me how she felt instead of ghosting me.
submitted by NoSuccotash656 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
I can't remember exactly when we met but it was about 2 years ago when she started texting me on social media. I was reluctant for a while but she was very persistent and like a month in I caved and we fell for each other. We would start chatting everyday, watch movies over discord at least once a week, sometimes we just do regular calls/videos calls too. We had so much in common and we really clicked well together, she seemed completely infatuated with me at times which was flattering. You all know how it is
During this time we were both hoping to meet in the near future, a topic we talked about now and then. The plan was she would come to me, but her visa got declined, mine did too for her country. but regardless I just did not feel like I was ready to go anywhere at that point, I typically don't travel and I didn't exactly have time and money at the moment either to fly to a country to meet a girl who I didn't even feel like I fully knew at the time. She did understand me and said that it was not a problem, and we figured we could focus on what we have now and just be long distance until the time was ready. At the same time she would sometimes mention that she was impatient and wanted to be with me in person, and I wanted that too, but the circumstances just didn't allow it at the time.
Then almost one year had passed since we met when she just stopped responding to me without any heads up. The day prior we had been watching a movie together and we had talked romantically until late at night. That first week when she didn't respond to me was just terrible, I had so many sleepless nights, lying awake just thinking the worst, hoping that I would wake up the next day and see her messages, but it never happened. After like 2-3 weeks of her silence, I just removed her from my contacts and moved on with my life and was in a brief relationship with another girl.
Then about a month before Christmas I decided to send her a message to see what was up, and she actually responded but acted like nothing had happened and we just started casually chatting again, but she was like a different person, very distant, she looked kinda different too. Then a few days before Christmas she started lovebombing me, telling me how much she appreciated me, how much I meant to her, how I was the only one that cared about her etc. the day before Christmas she had tried calling me several times but I had not noticed as I was busy running errands for my sister. I tried to call her back with no response and later she just told me it was "nothing", so I will never know what she wanted that night.
Chatting went on, a little more often now but still not as much as before, there just wasn't the same connection there and honestly I felt unsure and suspicious of her so eventually asked her why she ghosted me. She was reluctant to actually talk about it and explain her side, but from what I understand she said it was because she felt like there was no hope for us meeting anyway, she was getting impatient, that even if we did meet it would only be temporary, that she was lonely and since I wasn't there she figured she should just try to meet someone else. She also said "I'm not getting any younger" whatever that is suppose to mean.
We talked a bit about it, she told me that summer she ghosted me she had gone on a road trip to a resort with a seemingly "random" guy she met online. They stayed there for a weekend, but she insisted they she didn't have any feelings for him and they didn't sleep in the same bed, which sounds like bullshit. Nobody goes on some romantic getaway to a resort with a guy they don't even have feelings for and they certainly don't refrain from being intimate in that scenario.
This made me feel upset, not because she was with someone else, I understand that people fall out of love and in LDR's the waiting and lack of physical intimacy can be very hard to deal with, so I don't blame her for wanting that. What made me upset is the fact she didn't communicate this with me or even gave me the courtesy of a proper breakup or goodbye, but instead just told me everything was fine and then left me for another guy that she supposedly didn't even have feelings for. That really, really hurt. On top of that, she was clearly lying about the details to make it seem like it wasn't anything serious and expecting me to just brush it all under the rug. Naturally I told her how I felt, I didn't blame her or get mad at her or anything, just told her how her actions made me feel, and this made her mad at me and she called me possessive and a "drama queen".
Then some days later she started talking about how she was going back to her hometown for some errands and she might meet with an old classmate that had a crush on her, I asked her why she was telling me this and she asked me if it would make me jealous. I said I didn't care, even thought it felt weird she would even tell me this. Then a few days later she said she was going to visit her brother in another city, when I asked her why she wasn't going to her hometown instead, she just told me she wasn't actually doing that at all and that I should be paying more attention to what she is saying.
As if I shouldn't have picked up on it before, it was obvious she was going to see that guy but wanted to cover her tracks and hide it from me so she could keep stringing me along. I then just straight up asked her if she still had feelings for me, she said I was "very dear" to her. So I asked if she still loved me and then she just got mad at me and never said she loved me.
Then she left for her trip and I felt that was that, I removed her for good now, but I feel so very confused and even stupid for hanging around her for so long, I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't feel horrible for her leaving me like she did, it really did hurt and I still feel that even though it's been a while. But what bothers me is that I have a hard time understanding why it even happened. Did I do anything wrong? Should I have just tried harder to go and see her?
I'm just confused and I feel like I screwed up, but at the same time I don't understand why she didn't just tell me how she felt instead of ghosting me.
2024.06.09 12:48 abhayy_08 Advice Needed !! The girl I have my heart on has got me confused.
So, I'll jump straight to what happened. I sent a instagramr reel to her, the girl I deeply love, and the reel was about if i got my head hit somewhere and i forgot everything about anyone, What Would Be The First Thing She Would Tell Me??. To this reel she replied "That you have a crush on me". THIS LEFT ME CONFUSED AF, I want some adivce and want someone to explain what this means.
And also we haven't met each other ever till now because we both have been busy with college ( we are in seperate college) and recently I had a voice call with her (Her voice is so Angellic đšđŞ˝). Since she is going to be free for some time and I am going to be free at the end on June as my exams are going on, I asked her "So, When are we gonna meet, coz whenever we try to make a plan to meet somewhere one of us is either having exams or is busy with college? " to this we decided that when my exams are over I am going to ask her to make a plan on where and when to meet. Saying this again, We haven't met each other ever, we just had a chat on WhatsApp and Insta and recently a voice call. And one more thing, When we meet, should i take a flower for her?? If yes, then which one? Thank you for reading this till the end. I just hope something good comes out of this, I want us to be together.
The fact that i never met her and just through insta posts and chats, and recently a call, made me fall in love with her. And I am sure this love ain't just hornyness or trying to get in bed with her, I GENUINELY AM IN LOVE WITH HER, If you could see me while I talk about her, I bet you can figure it out that i am in LOVE with her.
Thank you for reading till here, Please help me out.
submitted by abhayy_08 to Crushes [link] [comments]
And also we haven't met each other ever till now because we both have been busy with college ( we are in seperate college) and recently I had a voice call with her (Her voice is so Angellic đšđŞ˝). Since she is going to be free for some time and I am going to be free at the end on June as my exams are going on, I asked her "So, When are we gonna meet, coz whenever we try to make a plan to meet somewhere one of us is either having exams or is busy with college? " to this we decided that when my exams are over I am going to ask her to make a plan on where and when to meet. Saying this again, We haven't met each other ever, we just had a chat on WhatsApp and Insta and recently a voice call. And one more thing, When we meet, should i take a flower for her?? If yes, then which one? Thank you for reading this till the end. I just hope something good comes out of this, I want us to be together.
The fact that i never met her and just through insta posts and chats, and recently a call, made me fall in love with her. And I am sure this love ain't just hornyness or trying to get in bed with her, I GENUINELY AM IN LOVE WITH HER, If you could see me while I talk about her, I bet you can figure it out that i am in LOVE with her.
Thank you for reading till here, Please help me out.
2024.06.09 12:35 Uhduh_08 soap opera situation
Hi!
My PM is giving me a non-renewal and has kicked other tenants out ( I assume because she had a stack of these letters and half of the people in my part of the building are gone since receiving the letter in April)
I'm having a hard time finding an apartment. I trashed my credit due to bipolar disorder and constant job loss due to my illness. I have been in this cycle of paying them off when employed and running them up and becoming delinquent when unemployed. I admittedly listened to bad advice a couple of years ago at 24 to file for ch 7 as this isn't the first time I've been in financial ruin. so I now have a bankruptcy and a trashed credit score.
I also have the issue that I had to live with my sister due to illness and it was her first time renting and she wasnt good at paying her part so we had many times where the rent was late. I recently combed through our ledger and it seems as thought we had a running balance the entire 3 years (although, im not sure because the PM definitely said she was renewing this year because we were never late last year) There is also no way to see who paid what besides combing through bank statements.
ALSO my sister may have to live with me that may cause some problems. Our brother committed fraud in her name. He got evicted from an apartment in her name, ran up peoples gas, and comed. so her credit is wrecked and she won't even do anything about it!
But, The good thing is I have gotten a subsidy for those with mental illness, but my adverse credit/score is getting in the way with big companies. Is there anyone who can recommend companies ,private landlords etc who will rent to someone like me? NOTE: I used to work as a housing specialist for a similar subsidy and I know there are neglectful PM/landlords when people have subsidies. I don't remember what companies they used but I do know that I want to avoid Cagan as they were notoriously hard to get a hold of.
Is there someone you know of that will overlook credit/bk if they know the rent will be paid for an entire year? Also, I'm looking in Uptown, Edgewater, I may even go to rogers Park or West RP (these areas specifically because my sister goes to loyola and I was worried about the trains and coming back down to Lakeview and looking for more diversity) If there are any other neighborhoods that are easy to get to and from loyola as a woman safely and easily by public transit and diverse I would appreciate any suggestions!
I'm desperate a there is a time crunch of August 31st. It just always seems when things go right something goes wrong đ This is causing serious stress while trying to do graduate school myself and regaining how I used to feel prior to diagnosis with meds and extremely good therapy! I have realized the traps of credit and what NOT to do when manic to not have this happen again and working on keeping a job through crisisđ
*** sorry for the sloppiness typed fighting through ambien đ¤Łđ¤Ł
*** I am currently unemployed but looking for a job preferably that could pay for school as a current grad student as I'm running out of aid. or I am attempting to apply for SSI or AADB (if anyone knows any tips for this I would appreciate it as well!!!!)
Thank you for any of your help and advice, and guidance đđ˝ anything mentioned will be researched and pursued like a bloodhound đ¤Ł
submitted by Uhduh_08 to chicagoapartments [link] [comments]
My PM is giving me a non-renewal and has kicked other tenants out ( I assume because she had a stack of these letters and half of the people in my part of the building are gone since receiving the letter in April)
I'm having a hard time finding an apartment. I trashed my credit due to bipolar disorder and constant job loss due to my illness. I have been in this cycle of paying them off when employed and running them up and becoming delinquent when unemployed. I admittedly listened to bad advice a couple of years ago at 24 to file for ch 7 as this isn't the first time I've been in financial ruin. so I now have a bankruptcy and a trashed credit score.
I also have the issue that I had to live with my sister due to illness and it was her first time renting and she wasnt good at paying her part so we had many times where the rent was late. I recently combed through our ledger and it seems as thought we had a running balance the entire 3 years (although, im not sure because the PM definitely said she was renewing this year because we were never late last year) There is also no way to see who paid what besides combing through bank statements.
ALSO my sister may have to live with me that may cause some problems. Our brother committed fraud in her name. He got evicted from an apartment in her name, ran up peoples gas, and comed. so her credit is wrecked and she won't even do anything about it!
But, The good thing is I have gotten a subsidy for those with mental illness, but my adverse credit/score is getting in the way with big companies. Is there anyone who can recommend companies ,private landlords etc who will rent to someone like me? NOTE: I used to work as a housing specialist for a similar subsidy and I know there are neglectful PM/landlords when people have subsidies. I don't remember what companies they used but I do know that I want to avoid Cagan as they were notoriously hard to get a hold of.
Is there someone you know of that will overlook credit/bk if they know the rent will be paid for an entire year? Also, I'm looking in Uptown, Edgewater, I may even go to rogers Park or West RP (these areas specifically because my sister goes to loyola and I was worried about the trains and coming back down to Lakeview and looking for more diversity) If there are any other neighborhoods that are easy to get to and from loyola as a woman safely and easily by public transit and diverse I would appreciate any suggestions!
I'm desperate a there is a time crunch of August 31st. It just always seems when things go right something goes wrong đ This is causing serious stress while trying to do graduate school myself and regaining how I used to feel prior to diagnosis with meds and extremely good therapy! I have realized the traps of credit and what NOT to do when manic to not have this happen again and working on keeping a job through crisisđ
*** sorry for the sloppiness typed fighting through ambien đ¤Łđ¤Ł
*** I am currently unemployed but looking for a job preferably that could pay for school as a current grad student as I'm running out of aid. or I am attempting to apply for SSI or AADB (if anyone knows any tips for this I would appreciate it as well!!!!)
Thank you for any of your help and advice, and guidance đđ˝ anything mentioned will be researched and pursued like a bloodhound đ¤Ł
2024.06.09 12:28 KatherineBryant06 [Get] Rob O Rourke â 100k Email Blueprint Download
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2024.06.09 12:20 Uhduh_08 Apartment Help
Hi!
My PM is giving me a non-renewal and has kicked other tenants out ( I assume because she had a stack of these letters and half of the people in my part of the building are gone since receiving the letter in April)
I'm having a hard time finding an apartment. I trashed my credit due to bipolar disorder and constant job loss due to my illness. I have been in this cycle of paying them off when employed and running them up and becoming delinquent when unemployed. I admittedly listened to bad advice a couple of years ago at 24 to file for ch 7 as this isn't the first time I've been in financial ruin. so I now have a bankruptcy and a trashed credit score.
I also have the issue that I had to live with my sister due to illness and it was her first time renting and she wasnt good at paying her part so we had many times where the rent was late. I recently combed through our ledger and it seems as thought we had a running balance the entire 3 years (although, im not sure because the PM definitely said she was renewing this year because we were never late last year) There is also no way to see who paid what besides combing through bank statements.
ALSO my sister may have to live with me that may cause some problems. Our brother committed fraud in her name. He got evicted from an apartment in her name, ran up peoples gas, and comed. so her credit is wrecked and she won't even do anything about it!
But, The good thing is I have gotten a subsidy for those with mental illness, but my adverse credit/score is getting in the way with big companies. Is there anyone who can recommend companies ,private landlords etc who will rent to someone like me? NOTE: I used to work as a housing specialist for a similar subsidy and I know there are neglectful PM/landlords when people have subsidies. I don't remember what companies they used but I do know that I want to avoid Cagan as they were notoriously hard to get a hold of.
Is there someone you know of that will overlook credit/bk if they know the rent will be paid for an entire year? Also, I'm looking in Uptown, Edgewater, I may even go to rogers Park or West RP (these areas specifically because my sister goes to loyola and I was worried about the trains and coming back down to Lakeview and looking for more diversity) If there are any other neighborhoods that are easy to get to and from loyola as a woman safely and easily by public transit and diverse I would appreciate any suggestions!
I'm desperate a there is a time crunch of August 31st. It just always seems when things go right something goes wrong đ This is causing serious stress while trying to do graduate school myself and regaining how I used to feel prior to diagnosis with meds and extremely good therapy! I have realized the traps of credit and what NOT to do when manic to not have this happen again and working on keeping a job through crisisđ
*** sorry for the sloppiness typed fighting through ambien đ¤Łđ¤Ł
*** I am currently unemployed but looking for a job preferably that could pay for school as a current grad student as I'm running out of aid. or I am attempting to apply for SSI or AADB (if anyone knows any tips for this I would appreciate it as well!!!!)
Thank you for any of your help and advice, and guidance đđ˝ anything mentioned will be researched and pursued like a bloodhound đ¤Ł
submitted by Uhduh_08 to AskChicago [link] [comments]
My PM is giving me a non-renewal and has kicked other tenants out ( I assume because she had a stack of these letters and half of the people in my part of the building are gone since receiving the letter in April)
I'm having a hard time finding an apartment. I trashed my credit due to bipolar disorder and constant job loss due to my illness. I have been in this cycle of paying them off when employed and running them up and becoming delinquent when unemployed. I admittedly listened to bad advice a couple of years ago at 24 to file for ch 7 as this isn't the first time I've been in financial ruin. so I now have a bankruptcy and a trashed credit score.
I also have the issue that I had to live with my sister due to illness and it was her first time renting and she wasnt good at paying her part so we had many times where the rent was late. I recently combed through our ledger and it seems as thought we had a running balance the entire 3 years (although, im not sure because the PM definitely said she was renewing this year because we were never late last year) There is also no way to see who paid what besides combing through bank statements.
ALSO my sister may have to live with me that may cause some problems. Our brother committed fraud in her name. He got evicted from an apartment in her name, ran up peoples gas, and comed. so her credit is wrecked and she won't even do anything about it!
But, The good thing is I have gotten a subsidy for those with mental illness, but my adverse credit/score is getting in the way with big companies. Is there anyone who can recommend companies ,private landlords etc who will rent to someone like me? NOTE: I used to work as a housing specialist for a similar subsidy and I know there are neglectful PM/landlords when people have subsidies. I don't remember what companies they used but I do know that I want to avoid Cagan as they were notoriously hard to get a hold of.
Is there someone you know of that will overlook credit/bk if they know the rent will be paid for an entire year? Also, I'm looking in Uptown, Edgewater, I may even go to rogers Park or West RP (these areas specifically because my sister goes to loyola and I was worried about the trains and coming back down to Lakeview and looking for more diversity) If there are any other neighborhoods that are easy to get to and from loyola as a woman safely and easily by public transit and diverse I would appreciate any suggestions!
I'm desperate a there is a time crunch of August 31st. It just always seems when things go right something goes wrong đ This is causing serious stress while trying to do graduate school myself and regaining how I used to feel prior to diagnosis with meds and extremely good therapy! I have realized the traps of credit and what NOT to do when manic to not have this happen again and working on keeping a job through crisisđ
*** sorry for the sloppiness typed fighting through ambien đ¤Łđ¤Ł
*** I am currently unemployed but looking for a job preferably that could pay for school as a current grad student as I'm running out of aid. or I am attempting to apply for SSI or AADB (if anyone knows any tips for this I would appreciate it as well!!!!)
Thank you for any of your help and advice, and guidance đđ˝ anything mentioned will be researched and pursued like a bloodhound đ¤Ł
2024.06.09 11:53 heylookapotato i'm gonna be honest. i thought i was going mad until i found out abt this subreddit đ
man this is actually really confronting to think abt. hell, i even logged back into this old ass acc because this was the only space that i felt could have some semblance of understanding of how i feel. or maybe not. we'll see :3
thing is, i always prided myself on not having crushes like everyone else my age, and really put myself on a pedestal thinking 'wow, other teenagers are so preoccupied with people they like--thank god i'm only preoccupied with grades!!!' which was probably cause of how i grew up (strict parents, so no dating; also went to a small school so it'd be really awkward)??? it gets to the point where i'm reassured in my identity as an aroace person, and that i'd be perfectly content living out a life that didn't have romantic relationships.
and then i made friends with This One Mf. it wasn't then that this all started, but it was around a year into our friendship when (at the time) he came up to a group of us during lunch, masc haircut and all. so he's a dude, no big deal until you realise that a) catholic all-girls high school and b) i've only been surrounded by homophobic people up until high school
it's not meant to be a big deal (i think, i'm not too sure how this works), but oh my god. idk how many times i've had to re-write this because nothing will ever do justice to the way the world changed when i looked at him. i looked up at him and i just thought to myself 'oh shit he's attractive' and told myself it'd be fleeting and that nothing would change and that i was better than everyone else because i didn't have crushes.
it's been two years. two years, and i keep making this ideal version of him that always knows what's wrong and makes jokes and somehow breaks the physical contact barrier that we both put up around people. he's not even a shitty person, and he's damn observant (as in. stalking profiles and psychoanalysing his friends kind of observant), so i always know that half of what i think of him isn't just stuff rooted in my daydreams and it's eating me up because i always have to worry about whether or not he's catching on.
as i type this, it's the second time that i've gone silent on him. i thought i was doing better???? getting my grades up, being fit, volunteering and achieving in school????? and then i talk to him and suddenly it's all 'i predict that in next year's camp, he'll try to find me while i'm in a field disassociating or whatnot and it's night and he'll immediately know what's wrong and i'll confess and he'll kiss me because he's felt the same all along'. like. he's observant but no he won't care that you're wearing his favourite character's earring. or that you liked an edit on instagram. or that you always turn away and ignore him because you're scared your cheeks are red. i ride the bus, and i think of the singular time we rode a bus together. doing my work, and i suddenly think of all the little moments and texts i've collected over the years and how it means we're written in the stars. i try to sleep, and i imagine him comforting my while i cry or staying up because we both love each other's company when it's just the two of us. i can't fucking think anymore, if not about him.
it's gotten to the point where i've started indulging some of my more disturbing thoughts, trying to pretend that i hate him or that he's into other people or that i've just been lying this whole time. here i am, trying to remove every trace of him in my life until i can gaslight myself into thinking that we've never met. purposefully trying to make him hate me so then i can spot his figure by the bus stop in record time and think 'yeah, it was never gonna happen anyway'.
submitted by heylookapotato to limerence [link] [comments]
thing is, i always prided myself on not having crushes like everyone else my age, and really put myself on a pedestal thinking 'wow, other teenagers are so preoccupied with people they like--thank god i'm only preoccupied with grades!!!' which was probably cause of how i grew up (strict parents, so no dating; also went to a small school so it'd be really awkward)??? it gets to the point where i'm reassured in my identity as an aroace person, and that i'd be perfectly content living out a life that didn't have romantic relationships.
and then i made friends with This One Mf. it wasn't then that this all started, but it was around a year into our friendship when (at the time) he came up to a group of us during lunch, masc haircut and all. so he's a dude, no big deal until you realise that a) catholic all-girls high school and b) i've only been surrounded by homophobic people up until high school
it's not meant to be a big deal (i think, i'm not too sure how this works), but oh my god. idk how many times i've had to re-write this because nothing will ever do justice to the way the world changed when i looked at him. i looked up at him and i just thought to myself 'oh shit he's attractive' and told myself it'd be fleeting and that nothing would change and that i was better than everyone else because i didn't have crushes.
it's been two years. two years, and i keep making this ideal version of him that always knows what's wrong and makes jokes and somehow breaks the physical contact barrier that we both put up around people. he's not even a shitty person, and he's damn observant (as in. stalking profiles and psychoanalysing his friends kind of observant), so i always know that half of what i think of him isn't just stuff rooted in my daydreams and it's eating me up because i always have to worry about whether or not he's catching on.
as i type this, it's the second time that i've gone silent on him. i thought i was doing better???? getting my grades up, being fit, volunteering and achieving in school????? and then i talk to him and suddenly it's all 'i predict that in next year's camp, he'll try to find me while i'm in a field disassociating or whatnot and it's night and he'll immediately know what's wrong and i'll confess and he'll kiss me because he's felt the same all along'. like. he's observant but no he won't care that you're wearing his favourite character's earring. or that you liked an edit on instagram. or that you always turn away and ignore him because you're scared your cheeks are red. i ride the bus, and i think of the singular time we rode a bus together. doing my work, and i suddenly think of all the little moments and texts i've collected over the years and how it means we're written in the stars. i try to sleep, and i imagine him comforting my while i cry or staying up because we both love each other's company when it's just the two of us. i can't fucking think anymore, if not about him.
it's gotten to the point where i've started indulging some of my more disturbing thoughts, trying to pretend that i hate him or that he's into other people or that i've just been lying this whole time. here i am, trying to remove every trace of him in my life until i can gaslight myself into thinking that we've never met. purposefully trying to make him hate me so then i can spot his figure by the bus stop in record time and think 'yeah, it was never gonna happen anyway'.
2024.06.09 11:49 oumram Need help sticking to my decision of divorce
Dear Muslim Redditors,
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Also, I know I could have left bits out, but I think it's important to be transparent about where I have fallen short and been bad.
I met my husband six years ago, and we got married after a year of being together. He had some red flags that I was aware of, but I cared about him too much to stop myself from marrying him. He's had a hard life; he is from a refugee camp (but grew up in the States), and his parents divorced when he was 10. As a result, he saw some very toxic marriage behavior whilst growing up. However, he managed to still go on to do good things with his life and the support of his mom, like getting a decent job.
When I met him, he didn't really have many friends except for some guys who were really terrible. They made fun of him, but most of all, they were into drinking, clubbing, etc. My husband is an introvert and went out with them once every 3-4 months. But that's it, he was super isolated. After he met me, he repented and wanted to lead a good Muslim life with me.
When he met me, he was really into me, and we saw each other all the time. He was kind (with food), handsome, loved spending time with me (and vice versa), and he put me first. His red flags at the time were that he was REALLY jealous/tried to control what I wore even though I am relatively modest. When he was upset, he also swore and shouted at me. He constantly feared I would cheat on him (he's been cheated on before) and would accuse me of looking at guys. I read a lot about psychology, so I think he might have borderline personality disorder. He is also afraid of abandonment.
In our first year of marriage, I got my dream contract job in Texas (we are from New Jersey) and he moved there for me. The salary was very low, but the experience was really valuable. So he mostly paid all the bills (I told him once the six-month contract was up, I'd live with his mom for a year to help us both save money). I was also really busy with this job, so I didn't cook much. Also, as a new bride, I didn't know how to cook. During those times, he would get super angry at me and be rude, swear, and just be horrible.
I am not great at getting bullied, so when he was being verbally abusive and angry, I would react terribly. I've locked him in the bathroom, and I've kicked him (not hard, like to push him away from me because he was trying to touch me) and pushed him off the bed. I know I shouldn't have done those things, and I know I should have just divorced him, but something about being called a btch, prck, c*nt just felt REALLY horrendous. I just can't handle that happening to me. He has also pushed me back, and frequently said to me you need to be hit to be taught a lesson "as a joke". But he does play fight with me rough. So I know it's not a joke. I've told him to stop and he doesn't, and says why am I being dramatic.
P.S. For the record, when he stopped verbally abusing me I never did anything violent towards him again. I never ever hit him hard (the kick was to push him away from me, and when I pushed him off the bed it was also to get him away from me whilst he was talking to me in a disgusting way. I know I am not a physical abuser, because we have gotten into normal arguments and I haven't reacted badly. I just reacted like that to being abused myself.
Anyways, we broke up over this behavior from him, and he apologized and said he wouldn't do it again, and he genuinely stopped for three years. He also stopped accusing me of cheating on him, and I felt safe enough to start having a family with him, so I got pregnant. The verbal abuse has completely stopped, but now I have normal people issues, and something happened yesterday that was not normal.
During pregnancy, I had hyperemesis. If anyone knows what that is, it basically completely destroys your body and soul. I threw up more than 15 times an hour and lost 10kg in 1.5 months. I couldn't consume anything, even water. The stomach pain was horrendous. Women who have had cancer and hyperemesis (may Allah grant them patience) have said hyperemesis was worse than chemotherapy. I couldn't walk for 5 months, had to take medication, didn't leave the house, and was physically and emotionally crushed. I only felt okay at 7 months, but by then, I had developed anemia and breathing problems.
However, during pregnancy, my husband was also great to me. He took me to every single one of my IV drip appointments and scans. He got me whatever food I needed (crushed fruit was all I could eat) and looked after me.
After I gave birth, one week later, it was Arabic Mother's Day. I was getting flowers for his mom and my mom and I said to myself, oh yeah, I'm an Arabic mother now. He gave me a dirty look and said you're not expecting anything, are you? I didn't because I had just remembered myself, but I said what's wrong with that? And he said, "what have you done to deserve to call yourself a mother?" I started crying because after everything I've been through, how can he think like this? I am staying with my mom, so he thinks I'm being pampered since I'm not living with my mother-in-law anymore.
After that, things started taking a turn for the worse. We're staying at our parents to save money and buy a house. Alhamdulillah, we managed to actually buy a house from living with in-laws. Also, to be able to buy a house, I have only had 2 weeks of maternity leave đ˘. My husband had six weeks of paternity leave and only helped the first two weeks. When I went back to work, my mom and I mostly looked after the baby. He wouldn't even look after him while I had Teams meetings, and he was just sitting on the bed watching YouTube enjoying his paternity leave.
After paternity leave finished, he's mostly been at the new house fixing it. He's been asking me for money to help pay our new house bills/renovations, and I'm refusing. We initially agreed on a 70/30 split, but he has barely helped me with the baby, and he has also not been supportive AT ALL to help me while I make the difficult transition of working with a NEWBORN baby.
He also recently betrayed me and my family by telling his mom and sister our family secret about my brother in law. I have genuinely never felt so betrayed and angry. I no longer have empathy for him. I am rude; I tell him he is not a man for asking me for money, and to leave me alone.
For Eid, he gives his family money, his mom, sister, and the kids, and I was like lol, don't I get an Eid present? Then he went into a rant about why I couldn't be one of those wives who holds her man down and helps him give Eid money to the kids, etc. I was like, is your sister a kid? Why, as the mother of your child, am I not worthy of a present? FYI he never buys me gifts.
Last week, I was moving heavy boxes and asked him for help. He ignored me and carried on watching YouTube (I am 2 months postpartum and have a pelvic floor problem as a result). So I told him, if I ever cheat on you, remember this moment. I know I shouldn't have said that, but I just wanted to hurt him the way he's hurt me after giving birth. Nothing else hurts his feelings.
For the record, I had never dated anyone before meeting him, and I was a virgin when I got married. I had literally never had ONE boyfriend. I also had a lot of potentials that all the other girls likedâsons of ministers, ambassadors, and good potentials. But I rejected them because I wanted someone who grew up humbly like me. I thought since he was raised by a single mom too (my mom is a widow), we would understand each other's struggles in this world.
Yesterday he came home, and I was feeding my baby. He said, "open your phone" aggressively. I said no (he doesn't let me go through his phone - however, I know he's not cheating, he doesn't really go out much), and he grabbed my finger and tried to press it on the phone. My mom was downstairs talking to the plumber fixing our drain. I said get off, you're hurting me. He grabbed my hand and aggressively kept trying to get me to open the phone. I have red hand marks on my wrist. My baby was screaming at this point and crying. He still wouldn't stop. Everyone came upstairs to ask what was wrong with my baby.
I said to him calmly in private for the sake of my baby and mom, if I open the phone, will you leave the house? He said yes. So I opened it and let him go through it. Luckily, my mom came, and I gave her the baby and took the phone. I would never cheat on anyone; that's not me.
He has never approached me calmly and asked how I'm doing postpartum after having a difficult pregnancy and going back to work. He never comforts me. He blames me for all his problems in life.
Before pregnancy, I was so responsive to all his emotional needs and anything else he wanted. I just feel completely neglected. He was good to me at the start and has some good things about him. We have had mostly good times, the above is 3% of the time. But I am fed up, and I don't think I can see him the same after how aggressive he was around my baby and how he hurt my hand.
Thanks for reading this far. Your advice is really appreciated.
submitted by oumram to MuslimMarriage [link] [comments]
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Also, I know I could have left bits out, but I think it's important to be transparent about where I have fallen short and been bad.
I met my husband six years ago, and we got married after a year of being together. He had some red flags that I was aware of, but I cared about him too much to stop myself from marrying him. He's had a hard life; he is from a refugee camp (but grew up in the States), and his parents divorced when he was 10. As a result, he saw some very toxic marriage behavior whilst growing up. However, he managed to still go on to do good things with his life and the support of his mom, like getting a decent job.
When I met him, he didn't really have many friends except for some guys who were really terrible. They made fun of him, but most of all, they were into drinking, clubbing, etc. My husband is an introvert and went out with them once every 3-4 months. But that's it, he was super isolated. After he met me, he repented and wanted to lead a good Muslim life with me.
When he met me, he was really into me, and we saw each other all the time. He was kind (with food), handsome, loved spending time with me (and vice versa), and he put me first. His red flags at the time were that he was REALLY jealous/tried to control what I wore even though I am relatively modest. When he was upset, he also swore and shouted at me. He constantly feared I would cheat on him (he's been cheated on before) and would accuse me of looking at guys. I read a lot about psychology, so I think he might have borderline personality disorder. He is also afraid of abandonment.
In our first year of marriage, I got my dream contract job in Texas (we are from New Jersey) and he moved there for me. The salary was very low, but the experience was really valuable. So he mostly paid all the bills (I told him once the six-month contract was up, I'd live with his mom for a year to help us both save money). I was also really busy with this job, so I didn't cook much. Also, as a new bride, I didn't know how to cook. During those times, he would get super angry at me and be rude, swear, and just be horrible.
I am not great at getting bullied, so when he was being verbally abusive and angry, I would react terribly. I've locked him in the bathroom, and I've kicked him (not hard, like to push him away from me because he was trying to touch me) and pushed him off the bed. I know I shouldn't have done those things, and I know I should have just divorced him, but something about being called a btch, prck, c*nt just felt REALLY horrendous. I just can't handle that happening to me. He has also pushed me back, and frequently said to me you need to be hit to be taught a lesson "as a joke". But he does play fight with me rough. So I know it's not a joke. I've told him to stop and he doesn't, and says why am I being dramatic.
P.S. For the record, when he stopped verbally abusing me I never did anything violent towards him again. I never ever hit him hard (the kick was to push him away from me, and when I pushed him off the bed it was also to get him away from me whilst he was talking to me in a disgusting way. I know I am not a physical abuser, because we have gotten into normal arguments and I haven't reacted badly. I just reacted like that to being abused myself.
Anyways, we broke up over this behavior from him, and he apologized and said he wouldn't do it again, and he genuinely stopped for three years. He also stopped accusing me of cheating on him, and I felt safe enough to start having a family with him, so I got pregnant. The verbal abuse has completely stopped, but now I have normal people issues, and something happened yesterday that was not normal.
During pregnancy, I had hyperemesis. If anyone knows what that is, it basically completely destroys your body and soul. I threw up more than 15 times an hour and lost 10kg in 1.5 months. I couldn't consume anything, even water. The stomach pain was horrendous. Women who have had cancer and hyperemesis (may Allah grant them patience) have said hyperemesis was worse than chemotherapy. I couldn't walk for 5 months, had to take medication, didn't leave the house, and was physically and emotionally crushed. I only felt okay at 7 months, but by then, I had developed anemia and breathing problems.
However, during pregnancy, my husband was also great to me. He took me to every single one of my IV drip appointments and scans. He got me whatever food I needed (crushed fruit was all I could eat) and looked after me.
After I gave birth, one week later, it was Arabic Mother's Day. I was getting flowers for his mom and my mom and I said to myself, oh yeah, I'm an Arabic mother now. He gave me a dirty look and said you're not expecting anything, are you? I didn't because I had just remembered myself, but I said what's wrong with that? And he said, "what have you done to deserve to call yourself a mother?" I started crying because after everything I've been through, how can he think like this? I am staying with my mom, so he thinks I'm being pampered since I'm not living with my mother-in-law anymore.
After that, things started taking a turn for the worse. We're staying at our parents to save money and buy a house. Alhamdulillah, we managed to actually buy a house from living with in-laws. Also, to be able to buy a house, I have only had 2 weeks of maternity leave đ˘. My husband had six weeks of paternity leave and only helped the first two weeks. When I went back to work, my mom and I mostly looked after the baby. He wouldn't even look after him while I had Teams meetings, and he was just sitting on the bed watching YouTube enjoying his paternity leave.
After paternity leave finished, he's mostly been at the new house fixing it. He's been asking me for money to help pay our new house bills/renovations, and I'm refusing. We initially agreed on a 70/30 split, but he has barely helped me with the baby, and he has also not been supportive AT ALL to help me while I make the difficult transition of working with a NEWBORN baby.
He also recently betrayed me and my family by telling his mom and sister our family secret about my brother in law. I have genuinely never felt so betrayed and angry. I no longer have empathy for him. I am rude; I tell him he is not a man for asking me for money, and to leave me alone.
For Eid, he gives his family money, his mom, sister, and the kids, and I was like lol, don't I get an Eid present? Then he went into a rant about why I couldn't be one of those wives who holds her man down and helps him give Eid money to the kids, etc. I was like, is your sister a kid? Why, as the mother of your child, am I not worthy of a present? FYI he never buys me gifts.
Last week, I was moving heavy boxes and asked him for help. He ignored me and carried on watching YouTube (I am 2 months postpartum and have a pelvic floor problem as a result). So I told him, if I ever cheat on you, remember this moment. I know I shouldn't have said that, but I just wanted to hurt him the way he's hurt me after giving birth. Nothing else hurts his feelings.
For the record, I had never dated anyone before meeting him, and I was a virgin when I got married. I had literally never had ONE boyfriend. I also had a lot of potentials that all the other girls likedâsons of ministers, ambassadors, and good potentials. But I rejected them because I wanted someone who grew up humbly like me. I thought since he was raised by a single mom too (my mom is a widow), we would understand each other's struggles in this world.
Yesterday he came home, and I was feeding my baby. He said, "open your phone" aggressively. I said no (he doesn't let me go through his phone - however, I know he's not cheating, he doesn't really go out much), and he grabbed my finger and tried to press it on the phone. My mom was downstairs talking to the plumber fixing our drain. I said get off, you're hurting me. He grabbed my hand and aggressively kept trying to get me to open the phone. I have red hand marks on my wrist. My baby was screaming at this point and crying. He still wouldn't stop. Everyone came upstairs to ask what was wrong with my baby.
I said to him calmly in private for the sake of my baby and mom, if I open the phone, will you leave the house? He said yes. So I opened it and let him go through it. Luckily, my mom came, and I gave her the baby and took the phone. I would never cheat on anyone; that's not me.
He has never approached me calmly and asked how I'm doing postpartum after having a difficult pregnancy and going back to work. He never comforts me. He blames me for all his problems in life.
Before pregnancy, I was so responsive to all his emotional needs and anything else he wanted. I just feel completely neglected. He was good to me at the start and has some good things about him. We have had mostly good times, the above is 3% of the time. But I am fed up, and I don't think I can see him the same after how aggressive he was around my baby and how he hurt my hand.
Thanks for reading this far. Your advice is really appreciated.
2024.06.09 11:22 Icy_Ad986 how to know if you're being pursued? what does that even mean?
does it mean you're courting the person? like does it have to be specified that you are courting the person or that both people have agreed? or is it just based on the actions of the person, even without the other person knowing or even liking them? like giving flowers, spending time with them, making letters and stuff.
what is like the bare minimum meaning of it.
this guy is doing a lot for me, i go along with it sometimes because we are friends and i appreciate him. He does things as if he is already courting me but he hasn't asked cause its obvious I'm uninterested. also that's why he probably hasn't confessed yet but his friends keep telling me he has a crush on me tho.
some of the things he's done is he keeps asking me to go out (i keep turning him down if its just the 2 of us), gives me flowers and food, literally planned and spent money on my surprise bday party, asks a lot of questions about my life and takes an interest on what i like.
am i being pursued? or what is happening rn? đ
i keep turning him down if it's too much cause i don't want to lead him on, and it's clear that I'm uninterested but i still care and appreciate cause he's my friend.
submitted by Icy_Ad986 to Crushes [link] [comments]
what is like the bare minimum meaning of it.
this guy is doing a lot for me, i go along with it sometimes because we are friends and i appreciate him. He does things as if he is already courting me but he hasn't asked cause its obvious I'm uninterested. also that's why he probably hasn't confessed yet but his friends keep telling me he has a crush on me tho.
some of the things he's done is he keeps asking me to go out (i keep turning him down if its just the 2 of us), gives me flowers and food, literally planned and spent money on my surprise bday party, asks a lot of questions about my life and takes an interest on what i like.
am i being pursued? or what is happening rn? đ
i keep turning him down if it's too much cause i don't want to lead him on, and it's clear that I'm uninterested but i still care and appreciate cause he's my friend.
2024.06.09 10:57 swinghelp96 A warning for âNice Guyâ SDs like me. TLDR: Cashed Out 401k + 10k Trip = RINSED
TLDR: Cashed out my 401k. Spent $10k planning a trip. RINSED.
I want to post this as a warning for any prospective SDs who struggle like me with self esteem, self confidence, self worth and are ânice guysâ. I guess Iâm venting here, I am alone and have no one in my life to talk to about this, and I am hoping by writing this it gives me a clearer picture of just how I got here - what happened and what are the red flags I missed. If you are like me, I cannot implore you enough to get out of the bowl ASAP. It will leave you in a much worse position than when you joined. JustâŚlikeâŚme. Iâm currently on that $10k trip in the RV right now by myself writing this. Where do I even begin?
I joined the bowl because I was not looking for anything too serious, tired of my age group of women in the vanilla world, and to help my confidence and self esteem. I was married to my ex wife for 12 years. She had a multi year long affair in which I forgave her the first time. She swore it was over - HINT: it wasnât. Divorced the 2nd time. Dated a few girls vanilla with the last one being 10 months - and she wanting marriage and kids asap after me being honest and upfront about my future wants. No thank you.
Then I joined the bowl. Yikes - it was rough at first. Talked to a lot of women. The first one I met one actually robbed me and took off on our first date. I chalk that up to karma from acting like a John - I honestly just wanted to get the âfirst oneâ out of the way in the bowl before itâs someone I can see a longterm SR with. But there were so many red flags that I refused to see through at the time - and I promise youâŚyou will miss the red flags too IF you are like me. Just hope you donât get hurt and itâs just money.
But one SB always stuck out. We talked for a few weeks before we met. And when we met I was mesmerized. Itâs not often you met someone that looks better than their pictures. A reverse catfish. We had a few platonic M&Gs. Got tested. I gifted her a low XXXX gift on our 2nd date. Sent her low XXXX before our 3rd date because she was moving and I wanted to help her. I wanted her to know I was serious. I had an issue with my initial STD test but got it resolved and we were supposed to make our SR official on our 3rd date. But - that night came and of course Murphyâs law - things failed spectacularly. We actually both posted about it on here believe it or not. But we worked through it. I tell her after this if I ever think she is going to bail leading up to this - I will just communicate with you and we can talk through it. She says good! This is important for later.
For the first 6 months we did PPM. And it was absolutely amazing. As beautiful as she was, I was completely falling for the girl on the inside. It seemed we always had an amazing time together. Even her. She said so. It seemed like it. And I foolishly let myself believe it. If you are like meâŚthis will happen to you too. I never thought I would be able to fall in love after my marriage, and here I was falling in love with my SB. Never did I want that. It wasnât my desire. I wasnât expecting it. But damn - it felt so good just to know I could. I started trusting her. Slowly. More and more.
I remember I would consistently have some rough mornings at work. But damn the second I got that good morning text - things seemed to get instantly better. We actually spent Valentines Day together. Gifted her a laptop mid between 1-2 XXXX. I wanted her to know how much our first few months meant to me. What she gave me at the time was invaluable (if only it didnât end up like it did). I am by no means a whale - and I didnât even spoil my ex wife like I did with her.
Recently, in April, she told me she lost her job. She didnât formally ask for anything. But Iâll be damned if I donât give the shirt off my back to someone I love. She knew I would. She knew me. In retrospect, she preyed on my weakness. At this point I am unsure if she really even lost her job. I have no idea what to believe anymore. I have a major business financial situation approaching quickly so my financial situation is unfortunately dire. As in Iâm going to have more debt than cash. It wasnât the best time for her to lose her job. But that didnât stop me. I tell her I will cash out one of my 401ks and provide her a mid XXXX allowance for May June and July. Ends up around thirteen thousand total to her. I ask if she would like it monthly or lump sum. I trust her. Completely. She said lump sum. Iâll be honest - it wasnât until physically writing these checks out is when it hit me. That caused me to freak out internally. At that point my trust issues are screaming. She can take off right now. Crap. In my head Iâm asking myself what am I doing. But I wanted to prove a point to myself. I can trust again! Not EVERYBODY is going to screw me! And I would have bet my life this girl was not like that. How pathetic of me and foolish.
So I see her the first weekend of May for a weekend trip we had planned. Amazing weekend. Things are great. On the way back I write her the check. Lump sum but she request it in 3 different checks - weird I think but ok. Here is one for May, one for June, one for July.
As I look back, it was almost instantaneous the change and frequency in her communication. I remember thinking it at the time - but considered it could be me and my insecurities so I looked past it. We hang out ONE more time after the checks. Her vibe was VISIBLY OFF. She did not want to be there but itâs like she forced herself too - it was so obvious in the moment.
The following weekend, she goes to a music festival with her friends. Before, she would text me her outfit pictures, how things were etc. this time I didnât get any of that. But I was honestly ok with it as it was a large festival. Things get crazy - I get it. It wasnât until AFTER the festival that we didnât talk at all for 2-3 days. Iâm thinking - what in the hell is going on. This is the first time we havenât spoken in days since our very first text messages. Now I am freaking out.
For the past 3 months, we had been planning a cross country RV trip to another music festival. Months of planning. It was actually going to be her birthday. SoâŚwhat do I do? I decide to plan a cross country country scavenger hunt with all her favorite things. Itâs so detailed I have multiple shops ALL across the country participating in this with me. She loves music as do I. So I not only started writing her a song about the magic she offers, I even produce a song. Itâs terrible - make no mistake - but damn I probably spent 60 hours on it. I am going to make this a birthday she remembers forever!
Back to us not talking for a few days - I freak out and text her that I am not feeling good, I think she is going to bail on this trip, and if she is to let me know so I donât waste a bunch of money buying more stuff then needed. She text back that she is hurt and she ask why I am thinking this why, and that she doesnât care if I go or not because sheâs gonna go herself (wtf?!?). So I tell her exactly why Iâm feeling this way which in short was things do not feel real or authentic anymore, something has changed, and Iâm trying to figure out wtf is going on. I even tell her - I understand if you met someone - just be honest with me so I can plan accordingly. She blows up, says Iâm rude and an asshole, and she canât dare speak or see me for the time being (meanwhile she has always reiterated she will give me any reassurance I need). Here is the kicker, THE VERY NEXT DAY, I get the alert she cashes the last and final check. So outraged with me, so upset with me, but she has no problem cashing my check. FOR JULY. Deep down, it was that very moment I knew I was going to get rinsed. I donât respect myself for not walking away then. I followed her like a pathetic broken dog following their owner. For the next few absolutely mentally draining weeks. It was bad. After a week she agrees to meet with me for 10 minutes to chat. We chat, and she says she will go on the trip.
Great! Maybe this will get us back on track and back to normal. I know she will love the scavenger hunt. We text periodically and chat about the trip. The day before the trip she asked if we can push it back a day. Sure I say. The next day, the day before, she says she will not drive with me but prefers flying in for the festival, it makes her feel more safe. I am crushed. I have no idea what to say. Some texting backing and forth and somehow I agree to it (no respect for myselfâŚugh). How pathetic am I. I text her asking if we can chat on the phone for a quick 5 minutes to coordinate logistics. I get a text back 12 hours later to âdrive safe!â(read: I ainât got time for you). Log in to see she blocked me on instagram and yep, that was all she wrote.
I am relieved itâs now over. The last few weeks have been so mentally draining. In the end, the only thing I can do is learn from my mistakes. If I just blame her for the rinsing, I will NEVER get better. I made so many mistakes. I could have been better. My therapist THROUGHOUT warned me, told me I will regret it, and I refused to listen. He became extremely concerned when he saw how my feelings were developing. He doesnât know about the 401k yet. That will be a fun conversation next time I see him.
But damn, she has destroyed me. I am beyond crushed because of the WAY she did it. She ruined EVERYTHING we hadâŚ.even the amazing times. They do not mean anything anymore. They do not even register in my head. It eats at me that she took that from me. I deserved that at least - but she didnât have enough respect for me to let me keep the good times. That is going to take so long to get over. I really was good to her. I was honest. I was so caring. I would have done anything for her. I was needy. I was insecure. I am not good in the bedroom (stamina issues) but very giving. Not a whale. But very generous. I just donât understand how she can do this. I mean, I was getting ready to have her meet my family - YIKES. In the end, how can I fall in love for someone that could do this to me? This is a major concern.
For the ânice guyâ SDs, use this as a warning. Donât think what you have here is real - it ainât. This is sugar. At some point, you are going to get rinsed. Donât let it be for as much as me. Stick to PPM.
Ultimately, this is all my fault. How irresponsible of me to cash out a 401k. Iâm not in the financial situation to afford this. I have always been very logical, emotionally stable or numb (depression), and this SR brought out the 2 complete opposites in me. I have so many things that need fixing. And now it starts. Brick by brick. Step by step. I will now depart from the bowl, for good, and wish you all the best. Be careful.
submitted by swinghelp96 to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]
I want to post this as a warning for any prospective SDs who struggle like me with self esteem, self confidence, self worth and are ânice guysâ. I guess Iâm venting here, I am alone and have no one in my life to talk to about this, and I am hoping by writing this it gives me a clearer picture of just how I got here - what happened and what are the red flags I missed. If you are like me, I cannot implore you enough to get out of the bowl ASAP. It will leave you in a much worse position than when you joined. JustâŚlikeâŚme. Iâm currently on that $10k trip in the RV right now by myself writing this. Where do I even begin?
I joined the bowl because I was not looking for anything too serious, tired of my age group of women in the vanilla world, and to help my confidence and self esteem. I was married to my ex wife for 12 years. She had a multi year long affair in which I forgave her the first time. She swore it was over - HINT: it wasnât. Divorced the 2nd time. Dated a few girls vanilla with the last one being 10 months - and she wanting marriage and kids asap after me being honest and upfront about my future wants. No thank you.
Then I joined the bowl. Yikes - it was rough at first. Talked to a lot of women. The first one I met one actually robbed me and took off on our first date. I chalk that up to karma from acting like a John - I honestly just wanted to get the âfirst oneâ out of the way in the bowl before itâs someone I can see a longterm SR with. But there were so many red flags that I refused to see through at the time - and I promise youâŚyou will miss the red flags too IF you are like me. Just hope you donât get hurt and itâs just money.
But one SB always stuck out. We talked for a few weeks before we met. And when we met I was mesmerized. Itâs not often you met someone that looks better than their pictures. A reverse catfish. We had a few platonic M&Gs. Got tested. I gifted her a low XXXX gift on our 2nd date. Sent her low XXXX before our 3rd date because she was moving and I wanted to help her. I wanted her to know I was serious. I had an issue with my initial STD test but got it resolved and we were supposed to make our SR official on our 3rd date. But - that night came and of course Murphyâs law - things failed spectacularly. We actually both posted about it on here believe it or not. But we worked through it. I tell her after this if I ever think she is going to bail leading up to this - I will just communicate with you and we can talk through it. She says good! This is important for later.
For the first 6 months we did PPM. And it was absolutely amazing. As beautiful as she was, I was completely falling for the girl on the inside. It seemed we always had an amazing time together. Even her. She said so. It seemed like it. And I foolishly let myself believe it. If you are like meâŚthis will happen to you too. I never thought I would be able to fall in love after my marriage, and here I was falling in love with my SB. Never did I want that. It wasnât my desire. I wasnât expecting it. But damn - it felt so good just to know I could. I started trusting her. Slowly. More and more.
I remember I would consistently have some rough mornings at work. But damn the second I got that good morning text - things seemed to get instantly better. We actually spent Valentines Day together. Gifted her a laptop mid between 1-2 XXXX. I wanted her to know how much our first few months meant to me. What she gave me at the time was invaluable (if only it didnât end up like it did). I am by no means a whale - and I didnât even spoil my ex wife like I did with her.
Recently, in April, she told me she lost her job. She didnât formally ask for anything. But Iâll be damned if I donât give the shirt off my back to someone I love. She knew I would. She knew me. In retrospect, she preyed on my weakness. At this point I am unsure if she really even lost her job. I have no idea what to believe anymore. I have a major business financial situation approaching quickly so my financial situation is unfortunately dire. As in Iâm going to have more debt than cash. It wasnât the best time for her to lose her job. But that didnât stop me. I tell her I will cash out one of my 401ks and provide her a mid XXXX allowance for May June and July. Ends up around thirteen thousand total to her. I ask if she would like it monthly or lump sum. I trust her. Completely. She said lump sum. Iâll be honest - it wasnât until physically writing these checks out is when it hit me. That caused me to freak out internally. At that point my trust issues are screaming. She can take off right now. Crap. In my head Iâm asking myself what am I doing. But I wanted to prove a point to myself. I can trust again! Not EVERYBODY is going to screw me! And I would have bet my life this girl was not like that. How pathetic of me and foolish.
So I see her the first weekend of May for a weekend trip we had planned. Amazing weekend. Things are great. On the way back I write her the check. Lump sum but she request it in 3 different checks - weird I think but ok. Here is one for May, one for June, one for July.
As I look back, it was almost instantaneous the change and frequency in her communication. I remember thinking it at the time - but considered it could be me and my insecurities so I looked past it. We hang out ONE more time after the checks. Her vibe was VISIBLY OFF. She did not want to be there but itâs like she forced herself too - it was so obvious in the moment.
The following weekend, she goes to a music festival with her friends. Before, she would text me her outfit pictures, how things were etc. this time I didnât get any of that. But I was honestly ok with it as it was a large festival. Things get crazy - I get it. It wasnât until AFTER the festival that we didnât talk at all for 2-3 days. Iâm thinking - what in the hell is going on. This is the first time we havenât spoken in days since our very first text messages. Now I am freaking out.
For the past 3 months, we had been planning a cross country RV trip to another music festival. Months of planning. It was actually going to be her birthday. SoâŚwhat do I do? I decide to plan a cross country country scavenger hunt with all her favorite things. Itâs so detailed I have multiple shops ALL across the country participating in this with me. She loves music as do I. So I not only started writing her a song about the magic she offers, I even produce a song. Itâs terrible - make no mistake - but damn I probably spent 60 hours on it. I am going to make this a birthday she remembers forever!
Back to us not talking for a few days - I freak out and text her that I am not feeling good, I think she is going to bail on this trip, and if she is to let me know so I donât waste a bunch of money buying more stuff then needed. She text back that she is hurt and she ask why I am thinking this why, and that she doesnât care if I go or not because sheâs gonna go herself (wtf?!?). So I tell her exactly why Iâm feeling this way which in short was things do not feel real or authentic anymore, something has changed, and Iâm trying to figure out wtf is going on. I even tell her - I understand if you met someone - just be honest with me so I can plan accordingly. She blows up, says Iâm rude and an asshole, and she canât dare speak or see me for the time being (meanwhile she has always reiterated she will give me any reassurance I need). Here is the kicker, THE VERY NEXT DAY, I get the alert she cashes the last and final check. So outraged with me, so upset with me, but she has no problem cashing my check. FOR JULY. Deep down, it was that very moment I knew I was going to get rinsed. I donât respect myself for not walking away then. I followed her like a pathetic broken dog following their owner. For the next few absolutely mentally draining weeks. It was bad. After a week she agrees to meet with me for 10 minutes to chat. We chat, and she says she will go on the trip.
Great! Maybe this will get us back on track and back to normal. I know she will love the scavenger hunt. We text periodically and chat about the trip. The day before the trip she asked if we can push it back a day. Sure I say. The next day, the day before, she says she will not drive with me but prefers flying in for the festival, it makes her feel more safe. I am crushed. I have no idea what to say. Some texting backing and forth and somehow I agree to it (no respect for myselfâŚugh). How pathetic am I. I text her asking if we can chat on the phone for a quick 5 minutes to coordinate logistics. I get a text back 12 hours later to âdrive safe!â(read: I ainât got time for you). Log in to see she blocked me on instagram and yep, that was all she wrote.
I am relieved itâs now over. The last few weeks have been so mentally draining. In the end, the only thing I can do is learn from my mistakes. If I just blame her for the rinsing, I will NEVER get better. I made so many mistakes. I could have been better. My therapist THROUGHOUT warned me, told me I will regret it, and I refused to listen. He became extremely concerned when he saw how my feelings were developing. He doesnât know about the 401k yet. That will be a fun conversation next time I see him.
But damn, she has destroyed me. I am beyond crushed because of the WAY she did it. She ruined EVERYTHING we hadâŚ.even the amazing times. They do not mean anything anymore. They do not even register in my head. It eats at me that she took that from me. I deserved that at least - but she didnât have enough respect for me to let me keep the good times. That is going to take so long to get over. I really was good to her. I was honest. I was so caring. I would have done anything for her. I was needy. I was insecure. I am not good in the bedroom (stamina issues) but very giving. Not a whale. But very generous. I just donât understand how she can do this. I mean, I was getting ready to have her meet my family - YIKES. In the end, how can I fall in love for someone that could do this to me? This is a major concern.
For the ânice guyâ SDs, use this as a warning. Donât think what you have here is real - it ainât. This is sugar. At some point, you are going to get rinsed. Donât let it be for as much as me. Stick to PPM.
Ultimately, this is all my fault. How irresponsible of me to cash out a 401k. Iâm not in the financial situation to afford this. I have always been very logical, emotionally stable or numb (depression), and this SR brought out the 2 complete opposites in me. I have so many things that need fixing. And now it starts. Brick by brick. Step by step. I will now depart from the bowl, for good, and wish you all the best. Be careful.