Passed my Network + today with a score of 724
So, I thought I would share my experience with you guys, and maybe what I learned can help someone out with studying or taking their test. First, I want to say that it took me 4 attempts to take it; a lot of this is due to me not changing my study material and just reviewing the same stuff repeatedly, along with other things going on in life. I used the following material to study for the Network +
First, the Professor Messor YouTube video series is used to get a general overview of each topic and to learn some very specific concepts. For example the 7 second subnetting method he teaches I found very useful and the chart he teaches you to use saved me a lot of time on the exam itself.
Second, is the Pearson + ebook version of the CompTIA Network+ N10-008 Cert Guide by Anthony Sequeira, ISBN-13: 978-0-13-744994-1, ISBN-10: 0-13-744994-1. I went through the network fundamentals and network troubleshooting sections twice. I used the book audio for them as it helps me out a ton due to only having one eye, and doing regular reading takes me forever because of it, so audiobooks or ebooks are the way to go for me and probably for others. There are also a bunch of extra resources and practice material or bonus content in the book and on the website that is in the book, which was very helpful for stuff like the port numbers, protocols, and some network troubleshooting things.
Third and probably the most useful for me was the Poekct Prep questions for Network +; when I first started using these, I was only getting maybe 50% correct, and after reading each explanation for each question, I started to understand why and how I was missing various questions. I would suggest going through it a few times to really get the material down; they are very direct and specific questions that really test your knowledge of the subject. I would also suggest doing these or a practice test before you start watching videos or reading to see what kind of questions are asked and what kind of material is on the exam. It will also motivate you to learn because you know what you don't understand.
https://www.pocketprep.com/
The fourth resource that I used was CertBros videos on YouTube. The way he explains things and his diagrams and such is what clicked with me, and I finally started to understand some of the more complex things that I was struggling with, like VLANS, ARP, Binary math, and much more. His whole video series on the CCNA exam is super useful and covers everything that is on Network +.
https://www.youtube.com/@Certbros/videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSodBEAJz9Y&list=PLF1hDMPPRqGxpYdo0ctaa7MxfOi9vjs1u
Fith is the Powercert animated video on YouTube; his videos and animations helped me to remember specific things and gave me a new way to remember stuff for some of the harder subjects or topics covered on the exam.
https://www.youtube.com/@PowerCertAnimatedVideos
The sixth resource that I used was the various games or quizzes on Sporcle.com. They helped a lot with learning the port numbers, protocols, and other similar concepts, such as the 802.11 and IEEE standards. Thanks to Beautiful-Employer-6 for the recommendation for the quizzes.
https://www.sporcle.com/games/amcgov/tcpip-ports-comptia-specification-a-network
The seventh resource that I used was Jason Dion's practice test on Udemy; I did find this helpful and what not but after I changed my study material from using just his test and Professor Messer's videos, things started to click with me, I actually understood the material compared to just using those two resources.
The final thing that I am going to mention and say is that if you have a learning disability like me or struggle to take tests, look into the testing accommodations that CompTIA allows and try to get them. If you have a documented learning disability or a physical disability, then it will be super useful. went through the process for it, and it took 10 days or so, they approved my 100-time increase, so I had 3 hours to take the test, which was super nice, and it helped me relax more during the test. It gave me plenty of time to do the multiple choice questions first, flag any that I was unsure of, and then do the PBQs, and then go back to flagged questions. I had like 21 minutes to spare but felt pretty confident about things, so I submitted the test.
Don't give up on yourself, guys. You can do it, even if it takes a couple of tries.
Please feel free to reach out to me for any more questions you may have about my experience

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I snap my head back down, with renewed vigour and hope about communicating with everyone without needing to play charades. With the knowledge that this is a microphone, my mind swims with the possibilities. If they can grow quartz crystals, they may be able to refine and grow silicon crystals, effectively making computers. Getting back on track, I add a resistor above the tremorsense and attach a ground wire below it. Tapping off between the resistor and tremorsense, I look to Silvra and gesture towards the translator.
“And what do you think you are doing?” She remarks, eying the setup with a mix of scepticism and intrigue. Her arms were folded, her brow furrowed in concentration.
“Just because you may be able to overhaul our entire way of life, does not mean I will give you something worth half a year’s wage. You best get to explaining yourself.”
Taking a deep breath, I sketched a quick diagram on the paper between us. I outlined how the piezoelectric effect of the tremorsense could convert sound into electrical signals that the translator could interpret. “It’s like turning vibrations into voices,” I explained, hoping the simplicity of the analogy would bridge the gap my technical terms could not.
“It…should work. Why has no one thought of this before?!” Silvra asks eagerly, reaching for even more paper, with Thallion leaning in to take notes as we possibly cross the language barrier.
Silvra passes me the translator, and carefully I place the tap wire on the central nub, and the ground on the body, similar to how their hands work with the metallic pin and the rest of their hand. I then reach for my phone and attach the power to the resistor, and the ground to the body of the translator as well.
I speak.
“can you hear me?” I ask, apprehensively, hoping I did not just blow up the device. It’s faint whine either being a really good thing, or a very bad thing.
“What was that?!” Lena turns around, after staring off into space as we got technical.
“i said, can you hear me?”
“yes we can!” Lena exclaims, not through the device, but from across the table, her eyes wide with astonishment.
“I can too. it is a little dull, but we can hear you. and you can hear us! without us touching it!” Thallion remarks,
I notice that yes, I can hear them, but rather than being melodic and transferring all the intent behind the meaning of the word, translating the emphasis, it comes across as dull, flat and lifeless, like text to speech readers. I find it quite painful to listen to.
“Perhaps it's a minor calibration issue,” I suggested, already thinking about adjustments to enhance the voice modulation.
“maybe i can sound like a robot for now, but perhaps, you should continue playing hot potato with the translator?”
“forget that!” Silvra remarks. “i may sound flat, but i don’t have to pass the device around! i can just leave it on a desk somewhere and it will just work!”
“not only is this an overhaul in this device, but think of the implications. we can talk across species without needing to touch very complex systems. we may even be able to communicate with animals, Lena!”
Lena perks up at this, “if i could talk to them, then i may be able to convince the big ones to leave us alone, but I worry about what that means if they are truly intelligent.”
Looking back at the device, I think back to the little I remember for analog electronics. The device can pass emotion and translate it, so it is capable of doing so. Maybe there is an issue with the prefilter? I could possibly fix that.
“silvra, it is amazing that we can talk, but I find it painful to listen to all of you due to the robotic voice. i think i can fix it. do you have the schematics for the device?”
“i don’t know what robot is, but i am guessing the flat sound, i do have drawings, let me go get them”
Silvra heads out, and Tallion is writing down everything. Lena is leaning over his shoulder.
“i know you are upset, but what you did is monumental, communication without contact, translation without touch. just remember that you are using your phone for power!” Lena states. I cannot tell emotion but bittersweet is all I can get.
Silvra enters again, knocking the snow off her clothes carrying some yellowed paper. Placing them down before me, I look across them.
“maybe increase the power input? That usually works for us. More space for clarity, or something,” Thallion adds, trying to be helpful.
I shake my head no, trying to ignore what he just said, based on the fact that is how humanity killed the first transatlantic cables. It is not a power issue as the device turns on, but a warping or nonlinearity of the data itself.
After a few moments of staring at the schematics, I find the input and the first thing I see is the massive choke directly after the input.
“a ha! found it!” I exclaim, reaching for the toolkit that Silvra brought over a few days ago. “just need to remove the choke at the front!”
“before you go voiding the warranty on this, why would that solve anything? that is how we regulate the flow of power!”
“i make direct current from my phone, so i don’t need to regulate it, in fact, that choke is destroying all high frequencies. i will talk about it if this works.”
“ok, but i’ll dismantle it. just point out the part on the schematic, and provide a jumper to cross over the holes”
Sighing, I grab the cables from the toolbox, along with the soldering iron and candle. Silvra grabs the components from me, and carefully unscrews the ground bell from around the power pin. Finding the power pin’s input into the interior, there is a large coil. Silvra quickly removes the coil and puts the jumper in its place.
Reassembling it, she gestures for me to talk. Taking a deep breath, and reconnecting my phone, I talk.
“Good afternoon everyone! And welcome to a new era! One of power for all!”
“I can hear you loud and clear!” Silvra exclaims, jumping up from the table.
“Astounding! Decoding the schematic and removing the choke did solve the problem!” Thallion replies.
“It worked before, and now it works better, I still think the first is more important to document”, Lena interjects, clearly getting bored of all of this tech talk
“So, Silvra,” I mention, “removing the choke works due to the same way the coil of wire moves coins: magnetism. Over the next few days we’ll be going over this in a lot more detail, but the choke does not choke the current, it converts it into magnetism, which is then released later. A changing current results in a changing magnet inside. It is very weak but enough to smooth input ripples, and stretch out the input spike slightly, which is probably why it is there in the first place.”
“But it comes with a downside. It acts stronger on faster switching pulses than on slow ones. My dc power has only an on pulse, but the signal of my voice is made of many higher vibrations. The choke would have killed this high frequency, and would have only passed the lower, which would be the fundamental frequencies only, sounding flat. The translator would then only be able to act on this flattened signal.”
“Now, I only got about half of that, but it stores the current as something called magnetism, saving it for later, and smoothing out the input,” Thallion states, looking up from his notes.
“Exactly. Think of it like a dam. Takes the surges and smooths them out, but you lose the changes caused by individual rainfalls”
“So what exactly is magnetism?”
“That is a good question, and contains several fields, chemistry, physics, all of what we classify as science. It will look like magic to you, but any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science. Just be ready to learn.
“Does this make the motor thing spin?” Lena asks.
“Yes, yes it does.” I reply, looking at my phone and the power slowly but steadily dropping.

"Mastering the Art of Communication: Navigating Context, Clarity, and Connection in Human Interaction"
Communication is the key to human interaction. It is bringing us closer to each other allowing us to exchange our thoughts, show emotions, and develop social connections. Whenever we face various situations in life, we understand that communication is much more than just verbally exchanging words but it’s all about comprehending and being comprehended. In this essay blog, I will discuss what I have witnessed about how incredibly deep and complex the skill of communication is, concerning context, clarity, and connection.

From the start of our lives when we cry for the first time as babies to the day when we grow up and deliver speeches, communication is a skill that we keep on learning and developing. Even though words are very important, the real meaning of communication is in the deeper connections we establish. The connections are made through several techniques and forms. My experiences have been a path of learning and development, a way of discovering how we can communicate more properly and effectively.

The first important thing I learned about communication is the influence of context. The situation of a conversation is the main factor that determines the result of the talk. For example, chatting casually in a café is not the same level as the formal dialogue in a boardroom. The physical space and the environment are the key factors that determine how the message is transmitted and how it is seen or perceived by the others. When we communicate face-to-face, our body language and voice tone also add layers of meaning and emotion that only words could not convey. However, written communication such as emails or messages relies on word choice and punctuation to convey the right feeling.

On the other hand, oral communication is often more successful than written communication in resolving conflicts as well as in showing complex emotions. The speed and gentle tone of a face-to-face conversation enables giving, asking, and thereby fewer misunderstandings. On the other hand, written communication being the one that lasts and the one that is most accurate, is the most preferred in cases where the information should be recorded or when communicating over different time zones.

Listening is another important factor I have realized in my journey. Having effective communication is not only about talking or chatting but also listening carefully. Listening with empathy and attention has the ability to transform our dialogues and makes it more meaningful and productive. It is not only to hear what others are saying but also to understand their feelings and thoughts. This high-level communication builds trust and respect, which are the two key elements of a successful relationship.

The clarity of the message is another essential component in this matter. The ambiguity can be the source of confusion and misinterpretation, which in turn will result in the failure of whole communication. Clarity in the language we used guarantees our messages to be comprehended properly. It is especially important when it comes to work where the level of detail and the clarity can be the deciding factor between success or failure. Here, we realize that visual aids like charts and diagrams can be more instrumental and effective in the transmission of complex information than verbal explanations alone could do.


Thus, the understatement form of non-verbal communication can sometimes be more powerful than the spoken words. Movements, facial expressions, and eye contact are communicative tools that can either contribute to or distract from the spoken word. A smile or a nod may reinforce positive communication, while crossed arms and looking away could imply discomfort or lack of interest. The fact that we are knowledgeable about these non-verbal cues makes it easy for us to send verbal messages more honestly and effectively.

Lastly, in this digital era, the form of communication has greatly changed. Social media, video calls, and instant messaging are the tools that have made the communication faster and easier. However, at the same time, they also bring some problems, for example, the chance of a miscommunication caused by the lack of nonverbal cues and the risk of information overload. A comparison of actual face-to-face talks with current digital communications reveals the role of balance. Besides the advantages that digital tools bring, they can be only seen as the supplements to the human interactions.
Communication is a dynamic skill that requires continuous research and development. Through the reading and the listening skills and the attention to the nonverbal signals, communication is, in fact, a complex art form. It is about searching for the perfect alignment amongst different channels and mechanisms that have a great influence in your social life. With our improved communication skills, relationships, both personal and professional, get stronger and the world becomes richer for us. At the end of the day, the soul of communication is all about its power to break down boundaries, cultivate mutual understanding, and develop strong bonds.

I'm walking through a bustling underground train station. I push and shove my way through all the other commuters onto the platform. As I look around, there seems to be endless rows of platforms in both directions, stretching well into a dense fog. Further ahead, neat lines of railway tracks extend out from the fog and through the platforms. I instinctually look up at the info screen
Next train in ### minutes
I furrow my brow, squint to try and focus on the numbers but they're heavily pixelated and illegible. I look around at the other commuters, who stream onto the platform completely unaware of the anomaly. Most people are on their phone, or wearing headphones while some are talking to each other. No one seems to notice the malfunction with the screen.
That's when the absurdity of the situation clicks for me. Endless platforms, a wall of fog, unreadable numbers and people that don't care. It's all a dream. I bring my hand up to my face and pinch my nose, trying to breathe through it. An old reality check I remembered from back when I was trying to learn to lucid dream.
My heart rate jumped when I realised, that I couldn't breathe through my nose. Before I could even process this, another problem presented itself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't know where I was going and I definitely did not know how I even got here. It seems as if reality ceased to exist right before I walked onto this platform. Just like it typically feels in a dream, you spawn in out of nowhere and don't really know what happened prior - except this wasn't a dream.
I knew I was sure of it because deep inside my bones I felt this anxious urgent message. I need to catch this train. It was a primal feeling.
At this point, my head is spinning and I need to sit down somewhere. I choose a silver bench with a middle aged woman sitting on it. She shuffles further to the left as I sit down next to her clutching my head and racking my brain to try and figure out what it is happening. This is what amnesia feels like, I thought to my self as I gnawed at scraps of messy muddled memories. Each image that came into my mind was just a fragment - A school, a library, sickeningly white walls. It hit me that I didn't even know my name. I was starting to hyperventilate but then my body kicked into autopilot. I started to take deep breaths, focusing on my diaphragm and calming myself down. It felt like I was trained to do this. I started to focus on the current situation.
Where was my ticket? Instinctually, I knew I had to have gotten one on my entry to the train station. I reached into my pockets and pulled out a scrap of paper. Scrawled in very familiar cursive:
*In case of memory loss, read the journal in your backpack*
Strange message but I didn't have any choice then to at least give the instructions a try. I removed my backpack and rummaged through it for the journal. I wouldn't really call it a backpack - more a tattered and frayed bundle of cloth that was reminiscent of a backpack. I finally found a series of small thick journals, bundled in cloth with their leather covers on the verge of disintegration. The pages still seemed in good condition though. Each cover was sequentially labelled which I'm guessing corresponded to the chronological order of the writings within.
The lady next to me was weirdly getting agitated. She kept stealing glances, her body shaking and eyes burning with a fierce rage. I slowly got up from the bench and began to step backwards. My backpack bumped into a pillar. The dull thud it made seemed to cause a drastic change to everyone around me though. They all snapped their heads, locking eyes on me and staring through my very soul. I felt exposed.
The rumble of an arriving train stole away their attention and within a split second everyone was ignoring me again, going back to their usual activities. It seriously felt like I had just imagined it and it was becoming more and more clear that I was having some sort of mental breakdown. Nevertheless, as the train slowed to a stop on the platform, I walked into it and found a seat. The train seemed to be old and new at the same time. Typical blue seats with abstract dirty patterns complete with a modern sleek interior of gentle curves clashing with a boxy dull metallic exterior and doors that looked like they belonged on a rusty submarine.
I opened the first of the journals and began to read. I soon realised that the handwriting was mine and within the next few moments I was attacked by a barrage of memories that had remained repressed and buried in the back of my mind.
*
My name is Jacob and I have been stuck here in this place called *The Limbo* for an eternity. When I say 'eternity', I don't mean it lightly. Back when I used to keep track I counted over 500 years through my wristwatch that never seemed to run out of battery. Now I know counting is meaningless. There have been periods like this where my mind falls into a deep trance and I lose my whole identity as I mindlessly wander in this place much like the entities that inhabit it. Occasional periods of lucidity breach this trance and then I find myself lost and confused. It's why I keep the journals with me. I think its some sort of psychological survival mechanism that human brains develop when faced with the infinite vastness of The Limbo.
Speaking of The Limbo, I've come to learn a few things about its nature through my stay here. Some of its been through people that I've come across (Yes others are also stuck here) and some has been through my own experiences. Perhaps the most important is the question of where I get my food and water. The answer is weird. I have never felt hungry or thirsty. The sensation of having cool water slide down my throat remains a memory so distant that it feels like the snippet of a childhood dream.
I guess the next natural topic about this place would be time. Through various experiences of mine (that you'll get to read about) and discussions with others, the leading theory of mine is that The Limbo exists outside of time itself. While I myself have fallen here sometime during 2001, I've met many others from various years like the 80s, 90s and even one recent fellow from 2043.
Most people in The Limbo eventually fall into a trance, withering away until they become one of the entities or become mere tools for them. It's probably naive but I keep going through this place with only two hopes. The first is to somehow get out of here at the right time point and see my son, who I never got to see. The second is to come out of this place and die so that I no longer have to live out the empty agony of eternity (I'll explain how you can't age or die in The Limbo later). Perhaps my hopes will dwindle as the centuries pile and I will become just like those who I look upon in pity now.
I am writing this consolidated diary of my experiences for several reasons. I'd like someone to know of my unending journey in this place. To be aware of the capacity of the human spirit to keep going in the worst of situations. I have never had a long term friend in The Limbo, but know that I consider you the reader a dear friend even if I never get to meet you because you will know my story. I'm also sharing this in hopes that there is more awareness of The Limbo. Perhaps the military and scientists can actually figure out what it is. Perhaps all of us can be brought home. Or maybe this can serve as a survival guide to those who may be unfortunate enough to fall through.
There are small holes in The Limbo. Most of them are barely large enough for a pinkie finger to fit in let alone a person, but sometimes I've come across one large enough for this journal to go through. I'm not sure what time or place these holes lead to, so the safe passage of this book into a person capable of reading it has about the same chances as me ever leaving this place.
The train I'm on supposedly leads to the edge of The Limbo, where the holes are large enough for humans to fit through. It's really more of a legend amongst the poor souls that are trapped here and I've followed trails and clues for a long time to even find this train.
There are only two ways this goes. Both outcomes would lead to you reading this book in your hands. I'll either find my way out of this hell or give up hope and slip this journal through a Hole. You will find my fate at the end.
I should stop rambling now though. It would be best to start at the very beginning.
*
I was rushing out of work in pure ecstasy. My wife had gone into labor while I was at work and been rushed to hospital. I needed to get there fast. People were glancing over at me over their cubicles in confusion as I packed up my work bag and rushed out to the elevators. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing my first son as the elevator made its way down. The elevator doors finally opened and I rushed out.
The ground entrance of the building I worked at, particularly near the lobby, is an intersection of various hallways. I was already walking to close to the wall when someone came rushing around the corner and bumped me right into the wall. I was only able to hear half their apology when I fell *through* the wall like it was just a holographic projection. In hindsight, I find it oddly funny how easy it is for a life to get ruined. Just when you think you've got it all, when everything is going smoothly, a small incident like that is enough to take it all away.
I found myself in a room that resembled a classroom. It looked as if someone who had never stepped inside a classroom was asked to imagine the space. Desks were arranged in messy uneven rows with the chairs facing various directions. The board at the front of the room was a seamless patchy mixture of both chalk and modern whiteboard and mounted way too low on the wall, nearly hugging the floor. A large teachers desk sat in the front of the room. The walls were filled with posters of absolute gibberish along with diagrams and pictures that seemed like they showed something tangible but no matter how close you looked you could never identify anything in the picture.
The initial confusion was replaced by an immense panic. My heart was drumming against my chest as I searched the room for a doorway to exit it. My mind was trying to rationalise the situation. I was trying to convince myself that this was just some old part of the building and I had fallen into a hallway instead of the wall.
I ran through the doorway at the far end of the room and found myself in a large hallway that seemed to extend forever in both directions. The walls were a muted grey and the floors were that typical dirty linoleum. Soon I would find out that the regularly spaced doorways on either side of the hall led to other nonsensical classrooms.
I ran down the hallway screaming for help in pure panic, which was a terrible mistake in hindsight. I stopped running down the hallway when I suddenly heard the distinct scratch of chalk against board. In this large empty space, the sound echoed and boomed. Since I was still refusing to buy in to the reality of the situation, my hopes were momentarily increased by the supposed presence of another person here.
I slowly walked over to the doorway that the sounds were coming from. My stomach filled with an uneasy dread. This deep primal instinct within me urged me to hold back. I peeked carefully in the classroom and saw a woman with their back turned to me drawing something on the chalkboard.
It took me a few moments to notice that it was a very realistic portrait of my face.
She was drawing lines across my throat, her long dark hair swaying as she drew in the details. The drawing was completed with a terrible slash across the throat, blood gurgling out. I was frozen in place, transfixed on the hauntingly beautiful realism of the picture.
She began to turn around slowly while humming a high pitched tune. To this day I can't describe the face I saw. It is still etched into my mind. A face full of so much hatred, so much anger that I don't think its possible for a human to make that face. It expressed an emotion beyond human understanding. No artist in the world could ever render the expression on the paper. No words could describe the pure fear that coursed through my veins as she stared at me and began to approach.
I turned around to run, only to realise that a bunch of school children had gathered around me. They were headless, the bleeding stumps dripping thick blood onto the floor in a rhythmic patter. Somehow they were laughing.
I shoved through the group and ran down the hallway. I wasn't sure where I was going. My whole world had shattered and now I was completely aimless in some nonsense dimension with horrors beyond imagination that wanted me dead.
*
The extract above is from this journal I found at the foot of a large tree on a hiking trail. It's a miracle that I spotted its faded leather cover given that it was almost buried under rotting leaves. I really don't know what to make of what I'm reading, so I'll be slowly transcribing bits of it in separate posts over the next few days.
I know this subreddit is good for this sort of stuff. I'd love if someone else could share anything they know about The Limbo. This whole journal feels like some sort of prank, but the words and memories within feel way too real.
I can't help but feel a connection to this story. My mum doesn't speak much of my Dad, who I know left before I was born. No one ever found out where he went.
I was born in 2001
X

With all the new players entering the game as of late, a lot of the same questions get asked - specifically, ones like "How can I make the perfect team for classic/endless/etc.?". The guide ahead is an attempt at answering more common questions on the former end, from the perspective of someone who almost exclusively plays Classic and many wins under my belt in doing so. Community feedback welcome; hopefully something like this can expand into something like a wiki/full guide so we can help new players down the line, too!
Classic and You: Starting Out
So you just picked up the game, but not sure where to start. "Which starters are best?" "What team should I go with first?" "I unlocked [x] - can I beat Classic with this?"
Let me reassure you: you can beat Classic with anything. (Yes, even something like Caterpie.)
That said, it's understandable to not know where to start, especially if you don't know all the starters, or maybe haven't played all the various generations of Pokemon through the years. Many of them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and some are built stronger than others. For example: Fuecoco is commonly the #1 recommended starter out of the base selection you get when first starting the game. Why? His final evolution, Skeledirge, naturally learns Torch Song, which is a hard-hitting fire move that guarantees a Sp. Attack buff each time it hits. This lets you snowball fairly quickly, as each attack makes you stronger and stronger during battles. Many starters have "specialty" tricks like this that give them an edge - Sprigatito's final evolution, for instance, gets Flower Trick, a hard-hitting grass move that always crits (and therefore always ignores opponent defensive boosts and/or your own negative debuffs). Even with all these being the case, though, there's no "perfect" team to start with that will guarantee a win - and in fact, getting a win on your first run can be exceedingly difficult. Your starters all only have 10 IVs, neutral natures, and no egg moves - they're the bare bones minimum to get going. And that's okay. But it means you need to temper your expectations.
Pokerogue is a rogue-like - and in classic rogue-like form, you build upon what you start with little by little. Your primary goal shouldn't be to get a Classic win at the start. It's certainly doable, but even if you win, you're still likely without any reliable starter to take on Endless just yet, so there's no sense in rushing there. Instead, focus on that concept of building - specifically, building your starter pool. Every time you catch something, you unlock it as a starter (if you don't have it yet). You also get candies, which can be used to power up those starters by either unlocking a passive ability (unlocking additional features) or reducing their point cost, letting you bring more starters to each run (or more powerful ones!). Catching things with higher IVs also make your starting stats better - catching a 31 Speed IV Pidgey, for instance, means your Pidgey starter now permanently has 31 Speed IVs. More stats = more power, and getting higher IVs on your starters is probably the biggest early jump you can get on pushing your team further.
With this in mind, making a "perfect" team is less important than just making A team, so that we can go out and catch some things. As for what to catch, though, here's a list of things I'd keep an eye out for:

• Anything with a missing and/or "dark" pokeball under their name. Just like in some of the main Pokemon games, Pokemon in Pokerogue will be marked with a pokeball if they've been captured before. If it's missing, and you want it as a starter, catch it! More importantly, though, is the "darkened" icon of the pokeball - this indicates that you've unlocked the starter, but this one has something you don't have yet; maybe a gender, or maybe an ability you don't have yet. For instance, a Meowth starter that you have may only have Pickup, but the one in battle before you now has Technician. Catching these "darkened ball" pokemon will unlock more options for your starters, letting you switch between these unlockables at the pokemon select screen when you start your later runs. I generally recommend catching as many of these as possible - in the beginning, it'll seem like every pokemon has a dark ball, but that's because you don't have many things unlocked yet. As you unlock more things, they'll get rarer - and more importantly, when you start looking for those elusive Hidden Abilities (HAs), these darkened balls will help you discover them more easily when you have everything else already unlocked. Remember, this is a rogue-like - we're building our starters here for future runs!
• Anything "rare". This is somewhat subjective, because "rare" can mean anything from "hard to find" to "legendary". In general, though, I recommend keeping an eye out for things you don't see often - starters, for instance, or legendary/pseudo-legendary/ultra beast/etc. "boss" monsters at the end of every 10 waves. But catching duplicates serves a secondary purpose - remember, it also gets you candies, which you can use to power up those rare pokemon starters you have later. Getting candies from friendship is certainly doable, but especially for rarelegendary pokemon, this can take a loooooong while. Catch them if you can to make it easier on yourself later.
• Anything you plan on using a lot. Somewhat of another sub-point of the above, catching duplicates of things you know you'll use often can be useful for candy collection. Specifically, this works well for things you know you'll use often - your first few shinies, for instance, or general-use pokemon that have Pickup. Build your Zigzagoon army! Candy collecting is especially useful for these to reduce costs, letting you take more of them with your legendary into Endless mode when you get to that point.
• Any shiny. This goes without saying for many, but shinies are the lifeblood of Pokerogue. You need them...a lot of them. They come in three flavors - starting from the weakest, a yellow shiny (Luck 1), then blue (Luck 2), and finally red (Luck 3), with the color being the "star" marker of the shiny pokemon on their HP bar. Eventually you'll want as many Luck 3 shinies as you can get your hands on, but when you're starting out, you're building from 0 - so catch any you see, even if it means failing your Classic run to do so. A new run takes an hour to start back up; a new shiny could take days or even weeks to find in Classic. (Ideally, though, don't be afraid to refresh/"save scum" to try and find a way to catch it without sacrificing your run if you can, and if you're willing. No sense in wasting all that work.)
• Don't neglect your team. Remember, our eventual goal is to win Classic...but more importantly, we're hoping to get as far as we can, and 190 if possible. The sprint from 180-190 is the most profitable floor in Classic for egg vouchers, with each Elite 4 member & the Champion at 190 giving them upon victory (Plus, first time wins get you bonus achievement vouchers too - two for one!). With this in mind, you want to make sure to balance your team out as you go, and don't neglect it as you progress. Perhaps your team needs a good rock-type wall to throw in the way of hard-hitting trainer pokemon. Maybe you're looking for a Ground-type to soak all those electric moves you keep running into in the electrical biomes. Good team building will carry you further than any IV or egg move ever could. Even the strongest legendaries can fold to a weakness.

This "starting out" phase doesn't have a specific length of time to get past - everyone progresses at their own pace, and some will get luckier with egg pulls and catches than others. Don't get discouraged. Just keep building on what you have - that's your initial goal, and it only gets easier as you do it.
As you start going through your Classic runs, the main resource you're looking to accumulate at first is egg vouchers - as many as you can get your grubby little new player hands on. Beating gym leaders, Elite 4 members, the Champion, and beating Classic all reward you with them. Doing the Daily Run each day also rewards you with a 10x pull voucher. Rarely, they can even show up after beating a stage in the item choice rewards - if so, pick them, usually over most anything else. Eggs build on your starters, and usually with either massively boosted IVs or egg moves to give them considerable bumps in power. Rarely, you can even get shinies from them.
And speaking of the egg gacha: only pull from the Shiny gacha at first. The entirety of your goal as a new player should be accumulating shinies. The legendary gacha is misleading - you only get increased odds for the shown legendary, not all of them (at least as of this post), and even then legendaries often have a huge starter cost tacked onto them, making teambuilding difficult early on. Once you build up your starter collection with a good few handfuls of shinies, and are cruising along in Endless vacuuming up vouchers, you can spend some on the other gachas for specific niches if you like (move gacha for egg moves, legendary gacha for legendaries), but for the most part the shiny gacha is where the money's at. Besides, the shiny gacha can hatch legendaries, too - so you're not missing out on legendaries by not hitting its specific gacha.
I Got a Few Shinies And Legendaries - What Now?
Alright, so you've been cruising along, catching everything you see and building your starter pool like the rockstar rogue-like player you are. Keep building from here, but now you have more options - you can start bringing shinies on your Classic runs to improve the quality of item rewards you get at the end of each floor; you can maybe even bring a legendary/ultra beast along to have an easier time against the end boss and get that first win. At this point, if you haven't gotten that first win yet, now's the time to start knuckling down and making a serious go at it. Some general points of advice for Classic success I haven't yet covered:

• Early on, focus on 1-2 pokemon. Ignore the rest. Same advice as in Endless works here. This perhaps sounds counter-intuitive, but until at least floor 30-40, try your absolute hardest to only focus on leading with 1-2 pokemon (and that second one should ideally only be necessary to cover the weaknesses of the first). Your immediate early-game hurdles are the two rival battles at floors 8 and 25 (and maybe a Gym Leader battle at 20), and if you try to level everyone evenly you're going to find it harder to win. The Exp All and Exp Charms you get from rival battles and item rewards will more than catch your team up later even if you don't ever use them...so don't worry about them for now. Right now, you're creating the Ultimate Early Game Juggernaut(s) to get you through the initial hurdles.
• Be frugal with your money in the beginning. In Endless, it's common practice to reroll often to look for specific items - candy jars, rare candies, etc. That's because in that mode, once you get set up you have almost unlimited income. In Classic, your income is much more limited (usually hovering ~$100k or so by the mid to late floors), and you don't have the luxury of blindly rerolling for optimal results. The option to "save scum" your re-rolls exists, if you were willing - after winning a floor, check the rerolls, and if you don't like any of the offerings, refresh the page. This will "start the floor over", resetting the rewards and refunding your money. This isn't really necessary, though; in fact, I rarely reroll rewards at all until floors 180-200, and often settle with generic healing/item rewards. Why? You'll notice through your runs that in the midgame (floors 50-150, mainly), you'll accumulate quite a bit of gold; instead of using this gold for rerolls then, where it doesn't help much, you should instead wait for the later floors where you start to take on the toughest opponents of the run - the Elite 4 and Champion on floors 180-190, the final rival battle at 195, and the final boss at 200. Specifically, 180-190 is where you'll buy more healing items than perhaps the rest of the run combined (to keep your team healthy in between each Elite 4/Champion battle), and 190-200 are where you really want to look for things like X [stat] items to give your team that extra "oomph". Even the strongest legendaries fear a Butterfree packing +4 X Specials and an X Speed. Money saved early on lets you dump it into rerolls later where it matters most. (Don't ruin your run by being *too* frugal, though - if your party is near death early on, spend it. You can't spend it later on if you're dead.)
• Pickup is NOT necessary (but it is helpful). I see a lot of general advice in posts on pokerogue that tell new players to stack Pickup team members on Classic. This isn't necessary, or even arguably desirable past maybe the first 20-30 floors unless you're running a very strong carry that can solo all 200 floors (which is extremely unlikely, and far more difficult to boot). I've won Classic many times without using Pickup at all, and I can't say as I miss it when I don't have it. More importantly, you need to be cautious which items you're picking up - the end boss can and WILL use them against you, so things like Sitrus/Enigma/stat boosting berries that you picked up along your 200 floors suddenly seem a lot less useful when they're in enemy hands. That said, if you bring someone along with Pickup, be generous with handing out berries and other items to your party regularly using the "Transfer" option, so you can reap the benefits all throughout your 200 floors. Sitrus, Enigma, and the speed/attack boosting berries in particular are great in trainerival battles where you expect to take hits and want to revenge kill things. In the endgame against the final boss, though, perhaps load everything on a party member you hope never to bring out (such as your Pickup mon) so they don't get stolen. (Hot take: I prefer to use no berries at all in my Classic runs if possible, with one exception: Lum! Lum is amazing for healing status effects, especially when it feels like some trainers have all the hacks against you, and it doesn't feel bad if/when it gets stolen later.)
• The same goes for Pokerus. The biggest advantage to having pokerus is capping out your levels faster; even without it, in the later floors you'll still cap your levels by each final stage so long as you pick up a charm or two along the way (which you'll usually do, pokerus or not). It's also a decent help for that floor 11-25 range where you're at your weakest and that second rival challenge comes knocking. In Endless it's common practice to take a pokerus pokemon so your carry can keep up with the level gains of the floors until you get fully set up; in Classic, the scaling doesn't feel nearly that punishing. If you can bring a good pokerus pokemon, though, it's more helpful than not - just don't go out of your way for it or feel like it's "necessary".
• Understand how biomes work, at least somewhat. Many of them chain into each other naturally, which is part of where the memes come from regarding "endless water biomes" or similar. As you start to expand your starting 2-3 into a full 6, know what biomes you need to look for and what to avoid. This is part of why the Map is one of my favorite item rewards to pick early on - it lets you target farm the remaining members of your team much easier, and towards the last 50-80 floors you can choose the easier ones to coast through while you finish building your team. In particular, routes you need to keep in mind:
  • You always start in "Town" and move into "Plains"; this is 100% guaranteed in every Classic run. This means the first 20 floors are always weighted heavily to normal- and grass-types. When building your starting team, it's helpful to keep this in mind - for instance, picking up things strong against these two types (shoutout to Flamigo/Hawlucha!) and maybe not bringing a grass type knowing that you're likely to catch one early on if you're desperate for filler.
  • "Metropolis" vs. "Lake" vs. "Grass": Moving out of Plains, these are your three options available if you have the Map by now. The biome you leave Plains for is the biggest observation you can make for your run - it will dictate how you form the rest of your team as you progress into the midgame. If you get diverted to Lake, but need an Electric-type (for instance), you need to find a way to get the map to divert to "Construction Site" or loop back to Plains, or you may be hard pressed to find an Electric-type at all in your entire run. The same goes for Fairy- and Steel-types - "Fairy Cave", the biome with the largest quantity of fairy types, is only accessible through "Meadows", which requires you to go through the forest biomes first. If you're not looking like you're going through those areas, you'll need to be less picky about what fairy-types you come across if you hope to snag one. (I recommend visiting the wiki for their nice little flowchart diagram if you ever want a more nuanced look into each path and where they can potentially lead, along with what spawns in each.)
• Build a well-rounded team. Building mono-type teams is cute, but ultimately extra work. Focus on coverage and being able to handle anything that comes along - remember, the last floors feature a variety of Elite 4 members and the Champion, all of which will require a varied approach on what types of Pokemon to bring for best results. By floor 100, you should either have most of your team set or a plan to fill the rest out by the time you reach ~170. By 180 it's likely too late (with the exception of maybe getting a last Mushroom or TM to fill out a moveset).

These are my answers, and i'm pretty sure abt them all except the burette one and the air hole one 1ai) measuring cylinder ii) because pipette is used to measure 25 cm3 of liquid but here we only need 20cm3 of the acid iii) slowly pump up the liquid using pipette until it just reaches the 25cm3 mark point iv) burette is used to add the potassium manganate bi) the colour change is more easily observed in this reaction without an indicator (colorless to pink) bii) until we obtain at least two values which have a maximum difference of 0.2cm3
2a) just insert value in the table from the diagram ii) 6.5 degrees iii) the temperature decreases largely in the first 60 seconds and then slowly increases for the rest of the 240 seconds bi) 19.5 the temperature of the mixture would equillibriate and and eventually reach the room temperature (which is the initial temperature of the water) bii) it is stirred so the temperature is same throughout the mixture biii) endothermic, energy is absorbed as the temperature falls from 19.5 to 13.0, it means the reactants absorb energy from the surrounding and cool down ci) take the thermometer reading from eye level to avoid parallax error cii) the thermometer was touching the beaker improvement: make sure to hold the thermometer so it doesnt touch the bottom of the beaker and is measuring the temperature of mixture and not the beaker
3ai) the flame turns yellow ii) so that air can escape (?) iii) carbon dioxide gas is produced which means R has carbonate ions iv) white ppt forms bi) it does not have chloride, bromide or iodide ions bii) (dont remember the question or even whether there was any or not) ci) test: hold damp red litmus paper over the warmed mixture observation: litmus does NOT turn blue cii) sodium carbonate and sodium sulfate d) add dilute nitric acid and aqueous silver nitrate to P. Do the same with the aqueous potassium bromide and potassium chloride in seperate test tubes. Match color of the ppt formed in P with the two test tubes. dii) drew the diagram of conical flask connected to a delivery tube and gas syringe and another of a beaker of limewater with the gas syringe inserted into it explained that the gas is collected using the gas syringe and released into the limewater by dipping the gas syringe into it
4) measure a mass of copper(or was it calcium?) carbonate using top pan balance pour the measured mass into a conical flask and close it with air tight bung. through the gap in the bung, add excess acid and instantly connect it to a delivery tube attached to a gas syringe. make sure the bung is tightly attached to flasks opening so no gas escapes collect the gas

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

This was last week and the guy is okay, just really sore and out of commission for now.
I’m a first year apprentice and this was my first time seeing anyone get shocked on a job. Commercial building: me and the journeyman were about a ohm out an unlabeled box above a grid ceiling. The journeyman was up on a ladder getting ready to strip the wire (not wearing gloves). He used his thumb to push off the insulation, and as soon as his thumb touched his strippers the connection was made. I don’t know if this guy kicked his ladder out intentionally, or if he’s just lucky. Either way, he fell hard off that ladder onto his back, taking a chunk of the grid down with him. He laid there for a bit moaning and groaning in pain while workers started pouring in.
He came to after a few minutes and our foreman drove him to the hospital. I saw him today and he was in rough shape. Ended up getting sent home out of concern. The job has been super tense ever since and we’ve had now three different safety meetings.
Kind of a crazy and eye opening experience I wanted to share. Stay safe out there!

Quick review:
For the first 2 weeks this thing ripped. Out of the box it was great. I'm not really PID tuning savvy but the stock tune was just fine for me. Swapped the BT2.0 plug and I am getting 2 min 30 second flight times. That all changed this past weekend.
The camera cut out mid flight and upon checking the vid wire broke off in my hand. Ok I get it, I'm a big guy with big hands, I need to be more careful, but I also noticed the the factory solder points were terrible and proceeded to break off a few motor wires.
I went to NBD's site to look at the wiring diagram for the camera and per the description the Hummingbird V3 is supposed to have a Bee Eye camera. I'm not sure what camera I got, but it literally is nothing like the pictures of the Bee Eye. The wiring, the layout, everything is wrong. The Bee Eye is sold out everywhere as is most of the parts for the Hummingbird. Is it possible mine was pre-production and NOW they come with the Bee Eye?
One final thing to note, I broke a frame the first day (thankfully I ordered another when I bought the V3, but it took 2 weeks to even get a reply from NBD support to get the code for frame replacement.
When it works this thing is awesome. No reception issues, it has durability during crashes, $89.99, but the fit and finish and lack of the mentioned camera and slow support times are making me lean toward NOT being a great entry level option. I'm willing to concede some of the wire issues I DID, but I've fixed the Cetus I have MULTIPLE times and never had any issues like this.
I hope this helps with someones decision.

PART ONE THOUSAND AND ELEVEN
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Sunday
“Daaaaddy!”
Levi groaned, for the shouting whine from his bedside dragged him kicking and screaming out of sleep in a way no other alarm could. Only two other sounds garnered a faster reaction from him: someone vomiting right beside him or his baby girl screaming in either pain or fear.
He opened one eye, wondering if someone had ever made an alarm that sounded like either of those last two. Parents everywhere would never sleep in again, so maybe not.
A blurry red-headed vision was so close that he could smell her morning breath as it tickled his nose. “Heeey,” he yawned, pulling away enough to bring her back into focus. “What’s up, Peaches?”
He didn’t recognise the room they were in. Not even a little bit. He sat up fast and looked around, causing Maddy to let out an ‘eep’ of fright. “Daddy! You made some come out!”
And then the events of the night before came crashing in: the party, the knowledge that his roommate was going to have the kind of company Maddy didn’t need to see, the invitation to stay in Luke’s old room, and Maddy’s late-night escapades after he’d dropped like a rock after doing a double shift to make it to the party.
He saw Maddy’s uncomfortable wiggle-dance and the strained look on her face and remembered he’d locked the door. “Oh!” He flew out of bed, scooping her up in the process. If he ended up getting peed on, it was his own fault for not setting an alarm for his baby girl’s tiny bladder.
He unlocked the door and dove around the corner, willing to go through the shut bathroom door if he had to, but thankfully found the room open and vacant. Then he flipped the toilet lid before depositing her on the ground in front of the toilet. He immediately pivoted away, not because he was embarrassed by her but because Maddy had grown old enough not to like him watching her go to the toilet. She was starting to get antsy about her bath, too, but until she could adequately bathe herself and not merely play with her bath toys the whole time, that was a hard ‘don’t care’ line.
“Do you want to have a bath, baby, or wait until we get home?” he asked, crossing the room to hold the door almost shut to prevent anyone else from seeing her either.
“I don’t got clothes, Daddy,” she answered like he was an idiot.
Word choice aside, the sentiment was true. They’d borrowed the shirt she was wearing from Charlie. “Well, we need to figure something out, Peaches, because you are not leaving this house in only a nightgown and no underwear.” He’d send Charlotte out to buy her some clothes if he had to.
He heard the toilet flush and Maddy move up behind him, and turned long before she could touch him. “Three guesses what I didn’t hear, young lady?” he asked with a paternal frown. He pointed at the vanity when she looked up at him without a clue.
“But I can’t reach!”
“Then what are you supposed to do?”
Her shoulders slumped. “Daddy, c’n you help?”
He then smiled. “Better.” He put a hand on top of her head and spun her towards the vanity before guiding her forward. After they crossed the room, he loosened the faucet without turning it on and curled his hands around her waist, lifting her high enough that she could lean over the sink. She washed her hands, rinsing them thoroughly, then scooped the water and let it fall over the faucet before turning it off. Not that water alone would wash away the ‘germs’ of the initial contact, but the sentiment was there. Her mother had been a nurse, after all.
“Is Mister Larry still here?”
“I don’t know, baby. But how about we go and see if we can track down either Aunty Charlotte or Robbie and figure out where we’re at, okay?”
“We’re in Uncle Luke’s and Aunty Charlotte’s home,” she said, again like he was an idiot.
That had been a rather stupid thing to say to a three-and-a-half-year-old. “Alright, Miss Smarty-pants. And what are we going to eat for breakfast in Uncle Luke and Aunty Charlotte’s home if we can’t find them to ask them, hmm?”
“Food, silly.”
Clearly, he was going to have to up his game in parental rhetorical questions. Gone were the days when she’d take him at his word, and she was only three. Thirteen was going to be fun. “Right,” he muttered, shaking his head as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.
While holding Maddy’s hand, he peeked in the open door across the hall from the bathroom and saw a very plain bedroom in terms of the rest of the apartment’s décor. At first, he’d thought it was a guest room until he remembered the teenage kid Robbie had recently adopted. This was probably his room.
He’d seen Charlotte and Robbie’s room the day they moved Charlotte in here, so a quick glance to confirm the room was empty was all he needed on that score. That left two doors on the right. And since both were close together, with the one on the left barely a couple of feet from the other and the front wall separating the living room, Levi was willing to assume the second one was a half-bath or a powder room or something. He went to the second door and knocked.
“Yeah?” Mason called from inside.
Levi opened the door and poked his head inside. “Hey, you wouldn’t by any chance happen to know where Robbie or Charlotte are, would you?”
Mason was at his desk, drowning in paperwork, it seemed. “Robbie, no,” he said, shaking his head. "As for Charlie, I’d try her office next door, between us and Boyd’s studio. She has a massive garage refit happening soon, so last I checked, she was in there getting things ready.”
The emphasis on his sister’s preferred name wasn’t lost on him. A sharp, jarring motion to his right caught his eye, and he saw something that really belonged in a space program somewhere.
“What the hell is that?” he demanded, ducking down low enough to see Robbie’s adoptee with his eyes glued on whatever was going on overhead and his fingers typing in a blur of speed.
“Naughty word, Daddy!”
Mason snickered at Levi’s slow blink. “It’s a gaming system courtesy of Robbie’s family. The damn thing is very addictive, though, and I haven’t told Brock that there’s a screen you pull down from inside the headset to cover your eyes that takes the game into 3D playing.”
Levi whistled. “I don’t even want to know how much that costs.”
“I know, and this Sectra table here is up there too,” Mason agreed, gesturing at the electronic display beside him. “But it certainly makes learning a lot more fun.” He tilted his head forward. “Isn’t that right, bunny?”
Bunny?
Maddy leaned into Levi’s leg, but she was grinning ear to ear when she nodded. “I wanna be a vert when I grow up,” she declared, looking up at him.
“Vet, baby,” Mason corrected. “We’re vets. Sounds like “bet’ and ‘get’ and ‘set’.”
“Vet,” Maddy repeated.
“There ya’ go. Step one is getting the name right.” He glanced up at Levi, his cheeky grin on full display. “Step two is getting Daddy to save up for the rest of his life to pay for the classes.”
“I hate you,” Levi whisper-smirked, and Mason pursed his lips in a cocky air-kiss.
Still shaking his head, Levi waved at Mason and left the room, leading Maddy through the kitchen and living room and into the hallway outside. For so many years, his baby brother and their friends had crushed themselves into that ninth-floor horror show, and no amount of pleading from everyone would budge Luke. Not pressure from their parents nor peer guilt from his brothers, who refused to bring their families over to the cramped space.
Charlo—Charlie was the only one who visited regularly, and at the time, he’d put it down to her being skinny, single with no kids, so she could squeeze into whatever gap she found. He knew who she was really visiting now, and Robbie had better be ready for the mother of all guilt trips coming from the family to make an honest woman of their sister. Nascerdios descended or not, he’d be a dead man if he broke her heart.
Thinking about his little brother’s relationship with all these men, it was like Luke knew the payoff was just around the corner. People like them didn’t live like this.
Well, Maverick kind of did, but he’d worked hard for what he had and could rattle off his list of sporting injuries to prove it. Robbie and Sam had simply taken a running dive off the world’s highest diving platform and landed in the kind of wealth the rich and shameless could only dream about.
Luke—Lucas was lucky in a different way. Yes, his friendship with Robbie and Sam had certainly opened the right doors financially, but what Levi had seen of Boyd’s work yesterday, the big guy was well on his way to becoming his own type of rich; much like Mav did for his family. And like Marley, Lu—ucas wouldn’t have to work a day again in his life if he didn’t want to. (Though he had just made detective and loved his job, so Levi couldn’t see him quitting anytime soon.)
He knocked on the closed door. “Come in,” Charlie called, proving Mason right. And like Mason, she was sitting behind a desk covered in paperwork with a phone cradled against her shoulder.
“Aunty Charlotte, we’re hungry!” Maddy declared, and Levi closed his eyes to hide from his sister’s evil chuckle.
“Well, we can’t have that, sweetie,” she said, and he heard the phone click as it was dropped onto the receiver. "Daddy gets very grumpy when he’s hungry.”
“It’s not the only reason he gets cranky,” he said, opening one eye a slit to give his baby sister the stink eye.
Charlie cackled and slid out from behind her desk. “C’mon. Robbie has your breakfast all ready for you in Voila.”
“We didn’t want to start going through things and guessing what we could eat,” Levi explained as they backtracked to the main apartment.
“That’s fine. Grab a seat—any seat,” she said, gesturing to the line of kitchen barstool chairs as she moved through the living room. She headed around the island and over to the box under the window without checking if they had.
Levi wasn’t thrilled about the height of the barstool chairs off the floor. “Do you have a belt or something I could use to tie Maddy in?”
Charlie swung around to him. “Oh! Oh, yeah! Hold on.” She slipped around the island and down her side of the apartment, coming back from her room with the kind of square booster seats that could be found in a restaurant. “Robbie ducked out and got this for her this morning.”
Levi scratched his head as the booster was attached to the second chair along the front of the island. “Where’d he get that from at this hour?”
Charlie looked at him derisively. “This is Robbie, bro. You know he’s got connections all over the place.”
It killed Levi not to ask for more details, but given it was probably either connected to the Nascerdios or, more likely, a wealthy former client in the city that still looked favourably upon Robbie, he hadn’t wanted Maddy to overhear the specifics of the latter. Too many times, his little girl had asked Robbie about different ‘gifts’ he’d been given by clients and how she had wanted to do whatever he did to get presents like that. ‘Over my dead body’ had been his mental declaration.
Maddy was pulling on his boxers. “Up, Daddy,” she said, holding her hands over her head for him.
Levi lifted her into the seat, and then buckled her in. In the meantime, Charlie went back to that wooden box, lifting the lid. “Robbie has this gift with food, so assume everything in the place is for you to eat, because it probably is.”
“Not everything,” Levi countered at Maddy’s wild squeal of delight. He gave her hand a firm squeeze. “Do not take anything without asking, young lady, or you’ll be in big trouble.”
“But Daddy…”
“It’s Daddy’s call, Maddy,” Charlie said, backing his play. She turned, holding a plate with two fist-sized Minnie Mouse-shaped waffles (the bow between the ears made it Minnie) with some type of white marshmallow fluff spread across them and a honey drizzle that drew perfect facial features on each. “Here’s breakfast for one cute-as-a-button Dobson,” she said with a flourish, sliding the plate in front of Maddy and pulling out a children’s stubby fork from the cutlery drawer.
“It’ll have to be cut u—” The words died in Levi’s throat as Maddy stabbed the nearest piece, and it broke into a small, bite-sized piece that Maddy happily popped into her mouth.
“Imma bi’ ’irl,” she said, in and around her food.
Levi tapped her nose. “Big girls don’t talk with their mouths full, Peaches.”
When he glanced at Charlie, she’d gone back to the box and returned with a dinner plate of fluffy scrambled eggs on two pieces of toast with cheese and bacon, and three sausages cut almost in half longways on the side. She nodded at the seat beside Maddy, then slid the plate into the empty spot at the end. “Siddown, bro.”
He might have whimpered a little on the first bite as Charlie went and poured them both a glass (technically, Maddy got a plastic tumbler) of citrus juice (not orange), leaving the jug on the bench between them. “Help yourselves to as much juice as you want. Even if you wipe this whole jug out, there's plenty more.”
“This is really awesome, Charlie. Thanks.”
Charlie placed her hand on her brother’s shoulder as she moved around the island into the hallway. “Anytime, Levi. But now I’ve gotta love you and leave you. There’s a mountain of work to get through in my office, so are you good here?”
“Totally. Thanks again, sis.”
As she walked out the door, Maddy held out a piece of her waffle to him. “Try?”
Waffles were usually too sweet for his blood, but this was the game he’d set up with her a long time ago to make her at least attempt to eat new foods. He couldn’t very well expect her to eat what he wanted her to if, now and again, he didn’t reciprocate the motion.
The honey and marshmallow whip (which tasted nothing like the jar-bought type) melted into the perfectly heated/not-too-hot waffle, giving it a sweet crunch as if it had just come out of the waffle iron. His surprise must have been written all over his face, for Maddy giggled, and he grinned. “That’s yummy.”
“Mmmm-hmmm,” she hummed, just as he always had when a new food passed the initial taste test.
[Next Chapter]
* * *
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I’d love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work, including WPs: Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!

05/05/24 107.4 kg
12/05/24 104 kg
On Friday 03 May 2024 a FB Spam message catches my eye from MedExpress about several products including Mounjaro (MJ), the latest GLP-1 agonist. This offers benefits for NIDDM and weight loss and intuitively feels like something right for me. I read a little about it and complete their online questionnaire. Shortly afterwards I decide to order it. £149 for a month’s supply seems good value to me. The side effect profile looks good and my risk of a thyroid tumour which the lab rats got doesn’t feel very high! I do nevertheless note the things to keep an eye on for the weeks ahead. Later that day they ask me for proof of ID and a head to toe full length Selfie to confirm I am as obese as I say I am. Taking a full length Selfie proved logistically difficult but the large upstairs mirror saved the day. I am pleased that they take their Clinical Governance seriously having previously chaired the Trust’s CG Committee and my confidence in the online medication provider increases. Of note some online platforms confirm a minority of people who want to take these drugs for a couple of weeks before their summer holiday to shed a few pounds.
Royal Mail Special delivery arrives early on Saturday morning and I decide I will take my first dose on Sunday. Gabi and I share our dinner on Saturday and we enjoy sharing a nice bottle of red wine. I have had an interesting relationship with alcohol for most of my life, drinking more than was good for me. I have no idea what impact MJ will have on that but I am curious to find out.
First thing Sunday I weigh myself. I decide to weigh myself once a week to keep an objective record of my weight loss. Whilst I am hopeful of a number of health benefits, weight loss is top of the list. I don’t initially have a specific goal in mind but weighing in at 107.4 kg it is clear that I have plenty to lose although I am pleased to note I don’t feel under any pressure to have to lose it quickly or by a specific date. The clinical trials with MJ quote data up to 72 weeks and that helps set a realistic idea that this will take many months as a minimum.
The starting dose is low at 2.5mg which I inject in to my ample belly easily and with no pain. The instructions are clear and come with some helpful diagrams which allow me to inject myself with confidence. That might sound odd being a doctor by training. Two thoughts come to mind. Firstly I don’t recall ever giving a SC injection to a patient let alone myself. Secondly I want to get it right; a natural anxiety I suspect many people have when they undertake a new adventure and especially when it is one of great importance to them.
The first thing I notice is an almost immediate suppression of my appetite. I no longer feel hungry. Can this be possible I ask myself? This kicked in within an hour or so of my injection. The doctor in me wonders if this is a Placebo effect. Surely it can’t work that quickly? I quickly drop this thinking and simply embrace my gratitude for a new perspective on things and accepting that I am not hungry is all that matters to me.
I am pleased to report that not feeling hungry continued for the next five and a half days. On Friday evening before dinner I started to feel hungry for the first time that week. Nothing serious, just a healthy “normal” hunger which didn’t overwhelm me or tempt me to snack on my old favourites such as cheese or bread and butter peanut. No this was just an acknowledgment that it was time to eat something and I was glad when dinner was ready an hour or two later. A similar thing happened on Saturday evening and again this passed peacefully without any drama.
The second thing I have noticed all week is how quickly I feel full once I start eating. I am eating approximately half of my usual portion and if and when I have put more food on my plate than I need I have chosen to leave it. Significantly this again has been effortless, natural and has not attracted any conditioned thinking about wasting food, the starving children of the world or what by long deceased grandmother might have to say on the matter. My diet hasn’t changed radically and was always healthy. Everything is cooked fresh, very little processed food and very little sugar. I just ate too much before. I never had an off switch. MJ seems to have moved that internal switch for me and for that I am again very grateful. Are some people’s brains wired differently?
As an illustration of this Gabi wanted a BBQ on Saturday night. The menu consisted of Wagyu beef burgers, grilled halloumi, grilled avocado, grilled sweetcorn and vegetable kebabs. I cooked the dinner and we sat outside in some welcome sunshine. Despite being good beef, I found the meat greasy and unappetising so I left half of it. I had already decided not to have a bread roll. I enjoyed the avocado, some vegetables and one piece of halloumi. A few bites of the sweetcorn was enough. I was full and just stopped eating. There was left over cheese. I can assure you that has never happened before!
Another thing I have noticed is the sensation of feeling bloated, even after eating what for me are small portions. In reality my belly has already begun to shrink but nevertheless the sensation is there. That agin seems to have helped with my portion sizes as I feel physically full quickly as well as emotionally satisfied. Feeling full most of the time including for example when I wake up has meant I have been eating less often. Typically that has meant eating twice a day, usually a late morning brunch and then dinner around 6-7. I have found myself drawn to a high protein, low carb diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, seeds and nuts. On the odd occasion I was a little hungry mid afternoon, a few raw nuts or a piece of fruit hit the spot nicely. In general though my desire to snack has gone. I used to have a habit of wandering in to the kitchen for no apparent reason. I would literally catch myself in there looking for something to eat. I wasn’t hungry and sometimes I don’t remember how I ended up there but before I knew it another slice of cheese and bread with peanut butter would have been cut and quickly eaten. The aimless kitchen grazing has thankfully gone too.
Many people on the forums I have read talk about the absence of “food noise.” I don’t know what they mean by the term but I can guess. My own experience is that I no longer think about food. A ridiculous amount of mental energy was previously spent on all things food related. That is no longer the case. The internal chatter has gone. A second benefit for me is the lack of “alcohol noise.” I am not thinking about alcohol which again could and did occupy far too much bandwidth. I am curious to see how this develops. I haven’t committed to going alcohol free again at the moment but given how little I am eating, I wonder when a nice glass of wine is offered will I say yes? If so how will it taste, how much will I drink and crucially will it counteract the MJ and increase my appetite for food in general and/or the foods I am no longer interested in such as cheese?
Put more simply, having no food or alcohol noise has allowed me to live an even bigger percentage of my life with a quiet mind and beautiful feelings.
A quick note on side effects. Basically none. A slight change in bowel habit but nothing worthy of comment.
My relationship with food has changed. My relationship with my body feels different. My appetite feels very different to the extent that sometimes I have had to remember to eat. For the first time I can recall, food is just a thing in my life. It no longer has a hold over me, it is not bestowed with special powers it is a fuel to keep me alive and crucially I am drawn to the foodstuffs I know are good for me not simply because that’s what every Sunday newspaper tells me but because my own Wisdom and intuition guides me every day, moment by moment.

hi!! i’ve never posted anything here before and im not very well-versed in reddit so im sorry about any mistakes. i quite like understanding things through diagrams so i thought i would make on explaining how the mbti cognitive functions work(or at least how i understand them so far). i will attach a photo of my diagrams and explain what im trying to get across with each one. i apologise for the length!!!!
the drawings are in fact ridiculous looking but hopefully you can see my intention behind it. so! the basic idea of all of them: 1. the extroverted functions are enclosed in this eye-like shape. this is to emphasise the users of these functions looking outward, into the external world. 2. the introverted functions are enclosed in a brain-like shape. this is to emphasise the users looking inward, into the internal world. this is not to mean that introverted functions cannot see or experience the external world or the extroverted functions don’t have an internal world. it is simply where their attention lies. 3. outside of these shapes i have scribbled. this is to describe a blurred inner and outer world respectively. their attention does not lie outside of their shapes. 4. i repeat a couple shapes as they represent different concepts. the question marks mean like ideas, abstract concepts, theories. whereas the bin(trash can), dog and person represent physical objects, beings, tangible experiences etc.. the hearts, stars, clouds and other shapes are representations of impressions of harmony and discord felt by certain experiences and people. 5. lastly number 5, i forgot to dry draw the internal thinking part within the Fe block but just imagine its in that blurry part of it oops
okay so each type: Si- rely on inner experience and IMPRESSIONS informed by blurred external ideas and concepts
what did you see yesterday? Si forms a impression the dog, what in particular sticks out to Si about the dog and unclearly generates ideas of what the dog could look like or what the colour the dog may like to look at. what features Si sees COULD mean. (Si thinking of the answer) this is a TINY dog, this is a TIRED dog, this is a THIRSTY dog. it focuses on the impressions of it, and what Si WANTS to focus on. (Si answering) a little dog doing quite poorly
Se- rely on an UNCHANGED experience of reality and the tangible external world informed by blurred previous personal ideas and meanings
Se sees the entire dog objectively and unclearly fits any meanings it has to reality or things the dog could possibly do. it is an objective experience of the dog. so what did you see yesterday? (Se thinking of the answer) it is a tiny DOG, it is a tired DOG, it is thirsty DOG. the unclear ideas of what it could be(tiny, tired, thirsty) are picked up unknowingly and are only noticed when really focused on or compared with another object. it’s next to another dog that is clearly bigger so THEN is becomes the SMALL dog. but the important part is- (Se answer) a dog.
Ni- rely on inner, PERSONAL meaning and ideas informed by blurred scope of external world
Ni consciously connects meanings and possible implications off of a broad blurred scope. the inverse of Se. what did you see yesterday? (Ni thinking of the answer)it is thirsty, must’ve been hot that day, i smelled wet dog, there was a red sign with a monetary fine if you don’t do something. so it’s PROBABLY a dog? not too sure, but that makes the most sense with all that information. the important part was the ideas of what the thing might have been or done to become what is physically was. (Ni answering) ummm…. a dog….?
Ne- rely on POSSIBLE meanings and ideas informed by blurred impressions of reality
Ne intentionally generates many ideas off of previously lived but unclear reality. this dog gives me a lot of ideas because it’s different from dogs i’ve seen before… probably. so what did you see yesterday? (Ne thinking of the answer) a dog that was thirsty, or maybe it was trying to speak, or maybe it is a deaf dog and thought it was barking but really its mouth was just open, maybe it’s got locked jaw?? maybe i should tell the person asking me this all of the possibilities of what the dog was doing so maybe we could get to the bottom of this. (Ne answering) insert either long explanation or simply- a dog.(because they found something else that caught their eye in the middle of thinking and want to get this convo over fast enough to ponder the other thing)
i’m not very sure how to explain the thinking and feeling functions in these terms as they don’t really ‘perceive’ reality but just exist in it and inform the decisions you make in it. so i won’t as getting it wrong makes me want to throw up
Fi- rely on EXPERIENCED impressions informed by a blurred objective system Fe- rely on OTHERS’ impressions informed by a blurred experienced system Ti- rely on a decided UNDERSTOOD framework informed by an objective shared atmosphere Te- rely on adherence to a universal and FUNDAMENTAL working of reality informed by a personal impression of peace
if you find things i’ve missed or have just gotten completely wrong please let me know. i know this isn’t particularly useful to everyone but i thought maybe some people may understand things in the same way i do and maybe this will help them.

27 Shaw

Address: 27 Shaw Blvd, San Antonio, Pasig
Of the two spas mentioned in the title, I first visited 27 Shaw. This was only the second time I visited a spa like this, I availed the Explorer service which was their sensual massage package. Price was 1300, card POS was temporarily unavailable.

The Facility

They give you 2 towels and a bathrobe initially, they come in two sizes, one standard bath towel and another that’s not a lot bigger than a face towel. They gave me 2 of the latter until I requested a larger one. Any additional towels incur a 50 pesos fee to be paid once you hand over your locker key fob in the counter. Better to leave one towel in the locker and use the other before the massage, as it will get wet, very wet. My green-ass self brought both inside and had to request 2 additional towels throughout my time there.
I arrived a few hours before my massage to spend more time in the wet room. It was shortly after opening, so there were only single digits of us.
The wet room had a shower room, sauna, steam room, a hot pool, and a water dispenser with a never ending flow of clean cups.
There’s a hot pool, not as hot as the coolest hot pool in Ace Water Spa. It’s towels off, so if you’re shy bring a swim trunk, I’ve seen some do. There’s a section of the pool that’s directly underneath a sun well, so you get to view the sky as you lay down and just relax. People seemed to just chill around and chat in the pool, which was quite wholesome.
You’re advised to take a shower before dipping in the pool. The shower cubicle is quite large, enough to fit 9 people if you’re ever inclined to do so. The divider between cubicles is translucent glass, so if someone leans over with their hands you’ll clearly see the hands. The shampoo and body soap dispenser is unlabeled so you won’t know which is which. I never figured the difference and suspect they’re both body wash. It was here where I first heard signs of action, moaning and clapping in the next shower cubicle.
Besides that, the sauna was decent, decently lit, lovely smell of wood, nothing much to say about it, just remember to pour water on the rocks. Also the wood floor and benches creak a lot.
Then there’s the stram room. The steam room is separated into two sections. Before the actual steam room, there’s a very dimly lit section with 2 curtain-less showers. After that there’s a door that leads to the actual steam room. It’s a dark, foggy L shaped room with one single source of light, which is under a short bench. You will not be able to recognize people’s faces here at all, only their overall silhouettes.\

Pre Massage

Not much happened before my massage just chilling between the facilities. Around half an hour before it a guy gestured to me when we were alone in the steam room. He reached over my dick as he placed my hand on his. He seemed to have just come out of a massage as his skin was oily and his dick already rock hard. A few rubs later he put his hand behind my head which I immediately knew what he wanted. I leaned over and started licking his dick and balls. After a while, he maneuvered me to kneel over as he stood up. His hands manhandling my head like a toy. Before long, he pushed my head in, held it there, and moaned hard. I could feel the hot liquid shooting up my throat, immediately followed by its bitter taste. He slapped my face with it a few times then he says needs to take a shower. We cleaned up, parted ways, and before long I went to my massage.
One thing to note about the steam room. It’s quite hot and humid when there’s only a few people inside, and counterintuitively gets cooler with a lot of people. It’s due to the frequent opening and closing of the doors when lots of people are going in and out of it so the steam just gets lost. So, if you’re just into the steam room’s steam, you might want to visit early when there’s only a few people there.

The Massage

The massage area was on the second floor, the stairs situated just before the locker room when entering the place. There’s a powder room and lounge in this floor that I didn’t get to visit, maybe next time. The walls between each massage room don’t go up to the ceiling, so sound can very easily travel between rooms.
I stripped down and waited for my therapist, who was a few minutes late. Can’t blame him, they only get at least 10 minutes break between sessions when the spa is fully booked. Eventually he arrived, we exchanged pleasantries, and he lightly explained the procedure he’s going to do. He asked if it was my first time, I think it’s their SOP as my neighboring cubicles were also asked the same question.
The massage itself was terrific. He quickly put pressure on my back, and after that hopped on my back and started dry humping me. Personally not a big fan of dry humps but that’s just me. He proceeded to do some rub my back and legs. I was walking the whole day from window shopping before so I didn’t realize how sore my heels were, which the massage gave me some relief. It was like this for a while until he started pouring oil on my body. LOTS of oil. Which is around the time of the procedure where he’d actually start grabbing my dick. He’d do this interspersedly with some leg or back rubs. Then eventually, he focused on my ass and started to gradually open it up, up until he put in a finger and start fingering me. So the routine now goes: dick rubbing, fingering, and back of leg massage. Sometimes it’s both dick rubbing and fingering. He’d also hop on my back and whisper in my ear: “Masarap ba, ah?” It was so over the top I almost found it humorous, and I just played along. Just before I switched to have my back on the bed, he lifted one of my legs and fingered me again, then did it again a second time on the other leg.
Around the 45 minute mark he had me roll over and switch to lay on my back. It was here where he’d just lift both my legs and both finger me and rub my dick. He’d then let me rub it myself but I told him I wasn’t seeking to ejaculate just yet. So he just gave me a head massage. I guess the massage was supposed to end when the client eventually finishes. We had a nice chat while he was rubbing my head and shoulders. He even recommended a therapist on their new branch if I ever find myself visiting there.
Unlike Infinity Spa which was the first spa I visited, the therapist did not ask for extra service. He only mentioned the tipping box in the reception area. He also gave me a new towel, though I preferred to use my old one since I was covered in oil, I also didn’t wear the bathrobe when leaving the massage room fearing it will also be stained in oil later when I clean up.

Post Massage

The massage ended, and I headed back downstairs. At this point the people inside the spa dramatically increased. I skipped the showers as there was a considerable line waiting for vacant cubicles. So I headed for the steam room to chill. Immediately after opening the door, I hear moaning. I maneuver through the room, lo and behold, 5 guys standing in the corner just having at it. Even more guys are just standing or sitting around them, either just watching or masturbating while they watch. The group soon broke off so I sat on an empty spot. I spotted 3 guys next to me rubbing each other’s junks. It was subtle but the movement was barely visible under the low light, their actions confirmed by their constant moaning and hissing. I just watched them while I rubbed my own.
I eventually moved to the sauna, and as soon as I enter a guy just got off another’s crotch and let out a loud woo, then continued to let out sounds of delight as if he just ate the finest meal he's ever had. Again, I just sit on a spot, close my eyes and relax.
Throughout the rest of the evening, I witnessed two full blown threesomes in the steam room with a guy being railed on both holes. Both times a crowd formed around them, some just looking, some masturbating, and a few actually went on to touch the participants, either by rubbing the participants' junks, squeezing or licking their nipples, or outright kissing them; Then there was a guy being fucked standing with their legs up, back against the wall in the steam room shower. The shower was better lit than the steam room, so the bottom made eye contact to the various bystanders watching them, he's stick out his togue to some of us as he moaned loudly; Then there was a guy blowing 3 other guys in the steam room while he kneeled naked on the floor, his toned body perfectly outlined by the sole light of the room.
I even spotted a friend I chat with online having a go with some guys in the showers. He doesn't know what I look like so I didn't attempt to say hello, but his socials activity that night seemed to confirm that it was him that I met. It's his special night out so rather not mention it with him.
There’s plenty other scenes but these were the most memorable.
At some point I got tired, I showered to the best of my abilities, got dressed, paid the towel fees, scanned the therapist’s GCash QR code to tip him, and went off to have dinner.
The overall clientele that day was quite diverse, most seemed to be 20-30, leaning on the higher range. Body types also wildly varied, from twinks to hunks to chubs. I saw all body types get some action that day so perhaps body preferences were equally diverse.
8/10

T by 27 Shaw

Address: 118 Timog Avenue, Diliman, Quezon CIty

The Facility

A nonspecific amount of days later, I found myself having a bunch of time to kill, and near Timog Quezon, the site of their newest spa. So I headed over, only availing their Sage package, which doesn’t have a massage and only has wet room access. I didn’t know specifically how many hours I had to kill so I deferred from getting an 80 minute massage.
This spa was visibly bigger than the main spa. The locker room has a dedicated attendants room with all their tools inside. There’s bigger toilets, they’re even bigger than the gigantic shower cubicles, then there’s a dedicated urinal room with no doors; there’s a bigger sauna, bigger steam room, one cold pool and one huge hot pool, and an area called The Labyrinth with stone benches and showers scattered throughout this very dimly if at all lit area. The cold pool had a lovely waterfall like installment, it’s not as strong as the weakest water shower in Ace Water Spa, but it was still nice. The hot pool had sections and corners, and it was very brightly lit. And instead of a water dispenser, they had water fountains with no cup dispensers instead. The showers seemed to be installed incorrectly, as some showers were hot when turned to the right, while some to the left. The water was scalding hot too so it was not a mistake you could easily wave off.

The Experience

Not much happened here in terms of physical action. There were a lot more people here at the same hour compared to my visit to the main spa. Most of them seemed to know each other which was quite a wholesome sight.
I had to head back to my phone multiple times due to the personal reason why I didn’t book a massage. I have an iPhone on the Globe network, and the signal in the locker room was abysmal, zero bars sometimes, which made me leave the area and head to the lounge for some stable internet.
Speaking of the lounge, I visited the lounge this time, and they served complementary tea, water, and cookies. It was a large, nicely furnished room on the second floor with a balcony outside that has a stone garden overlooking the street outside. There’s a steel mesh thing installed as the facade of the building so cars downstairs wouldn’t really be able to see clearly inside. Some people just sit and chill inside, while I saw one person who seems to do some work on a laptop in his bathrobes. Gotta respect the hustle.
The new spa is still not technically fully opened, some services are not yet offered and some facilities with those services still sitting idle.
In the end I liked the facilities of T by 27 Shaw better, it felt like it had more thought put into it thanks to learning from the lessons of the main spa, wrong shower installation aside. I’ve heard that the masseurs of T by 27 Shaw all came from the main spa, so I’d expect the same kind of service 27 Shaw has. I’ll try to visit and book a massage next time.
9/10

Hellooo could you please help me find my type, I'm confused with all the tests and all these results.
(Sorry it's going to be awfully long)(i tried to follow the list but it's a mess)
I am (18F) hypersensitive and an overthinker. I was raised in a christian family and I have no problem with that. My parents are quite strict but I understand and respect their decisions.
I'm finishing high school and I'm going to study literature, with history, philosophy, etc. I'm terrible at maths and I've always hated science, apart from biology. Yet I like my routine, I'm attached to it. I hate the unexpected; everything in my daily life is planned, and an unforeseen event is an enormous source of stress for me.
After a tiring week, I don't mind staying at home on my own. I need it for rest and quiet reflection. I can be extremely homey and I hate taking the bus into town (but that's just laziness, because when I'm there I'm very happy). Loneliness is fine for a week or two's vacation, but beyond that I'm going round in circles and I feel like I'm wasting my time with screens, books and so on.
I have a lot of acquaintances, I'm an open-minded person who quickly gets on with people. However, I'm very attached to my small group of friends, to whom I give all my attention and whom I jealously protect. I like to keep up to date with their lives, and this is my main form of attention: I'm always sending messages to find out how a particular exam or family event went. I like to listen to other people's problems, support them emotionally and find the right words to motivate them, etc. On the other hand, I don't talk much about my own problems. I don't want it to turn against me.
I feel like the definition of an ambivert. I like my time alone, but I can't live without people around me. I'm fascinated by human dynamics and how people work, why they think the way they do or what their connections are with this or that person.
I'm not good at sports, I find it hard to coordinate all my movements gracefully. I spend most of my time on my computer, or reading, or occasionally walking in nature. I'm very bad with my hands, I have two left hands. I'm not practical at all, I can barely cook pasta and that's a big handicap I'd like to correct. I'm not particularly neat, even though I'm very organized and stressed by clutter.
I'm quite a curious person, I can get interested in certain subjects and become quite obsessive about them for a while. I'm more interested in historical events, characters, styles, etc... sometimes in totally abstract models, but that's much rarer. But I attach a lot of importance to understanding everything, why it works, where it comes from, why it's like that, why this decision was made, why this convention is like that, why this person reacts like that etc... I used to be that child who was always asking questions about everything and anything.
I don't mind taking the lead. I can't stand inefficient people and I'm capable of doing the work myself rather than leaving it to people who don't care and will do it badly. I find it hard to delegate. Yet I'm afraid of responsibility in the sense that making decisions scares me, takes up a lot of my time and I'd be very afraid of being judged on a bad decision. So I avoid the lead to avoid making decisive decisions. So I see myself more in the role of an inner leader, pushing everyone in a general direction, than an authoritarian commander.
I tend to rely on the past, on my experiences, to analyze them. I'm also constantly thinking about what's going to happen next, what's in store for me. I dream about what my life could be like, but I stop short. I'm a pessimist and I like to keep things realistic so as not to be disappointed. But I have a lot of imagination, which I use in my writing.
I'm rarely asked for help, but rather take responsibility for helping people. If they're my close friends, I'll do anything to help them. If it's people I'm not close to, I won't put much energy into it (but I will, because I hate disappointing people).
I'm not very logical in the sense that my emotions dominate me more than I control them. But I need stability, organization and a clear vision of the future.
I love to make revision schedules, etc, but I rarely follow them. I often find myself doing everything two days before the deadline. I used to think I was self-disciplined and strong, but the more time goes by, the less so. However, I expect others to be efficient because I know how to be, and I know how to force myself to achieve what I want. On the other hand, I won't make an effort if it's not important to me.
I know how to control people in the sense that I can guess what they're thinking and what mood they're in. So I know what tone to adopt to get an idea across. I know how to present things in a certain way to get a certain type of reaction. I don't use it much, but it's a tool that helps harmonize my relationships, since I hate conflict and run away from it most of the time (but I know how to take responsibility and force myself to have a difficult discussion).
My hobbies: seeing my friends, spending time with them, reading, writing. I don't share my hobbies very much, they're my secret garden and I find it hard to talk about them and open up (only two or three people know I write). But I often obsess about a book or a film, and then my best friend has to listen to me talk about it 24/7.
I learn by writing things down, making mind-maps, diagrams, arrows, highlighting in all directions, etc. I work in bursts of energy, whereas I thought I was someone who worked for the long term, etc. It was a big shock to realize that I wasn't all that organized and reliable. I like lectures where you have to take notes. Group work makes me anxious because people never know what to do and I have to manage everything.
I often have the idea when the project starts and I'll do everything I can to lead people in that direction. I find it very hard to listen to people's opinions and deviate from my original idea. Often their ideas don't seem as good as mine, but I accept them so as not to upset them.
I'm very uncomfortable with people who are cold, emotionless, lacking in empathy, closed off, etc. I understand people's emotions and I'd like them to do the same for me (even though I know that not everyone is capable of this, and I have to stop believing that my problems will show in my eyes if I don't talk about them). I hate getting out of my comfort zone, having to improvise, think outside the box, etc. It takes a lot of energy to let go, etc.
Alone in a room? I'd be bored if there wasn't at least one bed to sleep in and think about the meaning of my life and the whys and wherefores.
Making a decision is such a headache. I ask for people's opinions when I know I won't listen to them. There are so many pros and cons to weigh up, at the risk of disappointing yourself and others...
Yes, I avoid conflict with my friends, because I'm so passionate that I get very first-degree and I get angry, and I think about it for days afterwards. with my family, on the other hand, I assert myself and say loud and clear when I disagree. I argue with someone 80% of the time
I don't break the rules much, I respect the authority I've been taught to respect, if I recognize it as legitimate (like the state or my school = legitimate, I obey them) But I only obey when I've understood the whys and wherefores.
Thanks in advance! I thought for a long time I was an ENFJ, but many tests have advanced things like INFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ etc... i feel confused lol

"Wade! Good to see you back buddy!" Nathan said aloud as he and F approached Wade and Tina, the two breaking their embrace before looking to their friends.
Wade chuckled a bit as he responded to Nathan's greeting, Tina giving a pleasant smile as she stood behind him. "Same to you, man. How're things here?"
"Better than any words I could use for the situation!" Looking behind him, he gazed at a group of the worker drones that were rescued from the factory, having been brought aboard in order to transport them to a safer location. Their faces were of varied gratefulness and smiles as they made conversation with some of the troops onboard. "The rescue-ees are happy to be out of that place, far as I can tell!"
"They sure look like it." Wade said with a pleased smile, admiring the success of his and the Coalition's efforts as Nathan's friend Kurtis came over to the four.
Catching sight of Tina, the veteran drone gave a sly look as he correctly guessed the identity of Wade's accomplice. "Oh, and I see you found your girl you were telling me about."
The drone in question gave a blush of embarrassment as Wade held her hand, chuckling smugly as he introduced Tina. "Ah, yeah. Nathan, Kurtis, F, this is my girlfriend Tina. She's one of the best pilots I've met and known in my life, along with her sister Jasmine."
Tina's blush intensified heavily at Wade's words, a laugh breaching her mouth as she spoke to Wade's colleagues. "Well, I don't like to boast, but my sister and I DID fly for the military a while back."
Nathan and Kurtis gave impressed laughs as F chuckled at the amusing meeting, the former of the duo speaking as he shook Tina's hand. "Heh, well it's a proud pleasure to meet you, Miss Tina! You've got quite the partner with you, I'd say. He helped save F and Gerard from an accident during our time on Ceres."
Tina raised a hand to her mouth in shock as she looked to Wade, surprised by the news of his heroics at his new job before chuckling. "Well, it's not too surprising, I'd probably be dead if he didn't come in to help us." Remembering that F was involved in her rescue too, she glanced to the disassembly drone before quietly adding, "You too, darling."
F gave a thankful smile at the pilot drone as Wade spoke up on Tina's statement on her rescue. "Well, I'd also be done for if you didn't save me back there, with that disassembly drone squad." Tina nodded as Nathan looked to the drone couple in surprise at their stated feat.
"More of them? How many? Three? Fo-" The miner drone asked as Wade answered him mid-sentence.
"Three, and they put up a nasty fight. One almost got me before Tina shot at her with one of those guns these militia guys brought. A trooper must've dropped it during the fighting." Nathan gave an uncomfortable look of shock as Wade added, "One of them looked kinda like you too."
Tina pulled out her gun before holding it at attention, Nathan nodding in admiration of her efforts as she spoke up. "Think I could keep this one? We pilots usually carry sidearms like these, but I lost mine when they kidnapped me aboard the station in orbit."
Nathan and Kurtis looked to each other before nodding in agreement. "Sure, gonna need a holster though. Wouldn't want it to fall out that nice coat there, would we?" While Nathan gave his answer, Kurtis was already heading to the storage bays at the back of the ship, planning on grabbing the sizable holster wrap for Tina's weapon.
"Of course." Tina replied as Kurtis grabbed the desired gear, shutting the cargo door as he returned to the group. Taking the holster in her hand, she handed the pistol to Wade before speaking in between her efforts to attach the holster to her upper leg. "Thanks for the compliment, by the way."
"Don't mention it." Nathan replied back as F stepped up in between the group, wanting to add her own praise as the group looked to her.
"Glad to see so many together in arms here, especially when it's work colleagues like the boys here." Looking to Tina, she continued. "And Nathan's right, Miss Tina. Your partner is quite the guy, I'm a little surprised he didn't join the service. Him and his brother would've made great men if they fought in the ranks."
The positive air was quickly shattered upon the mention of Ron. Nathan, Wade, and the others all looked to F as her eyes became golden rings, the warrior drone realizing her mistake too late as she began to raise a hand to her face.
"...Yeah. Yes, we sure would have." Wade said solemnly, nodding lightly with a slight smile in his attempt to lighten the comment and, in turn, the mood. His smile faltered once again as he saw the others still frowning in sorrow, Wade joining them shortly after before remembering something. "Uh... Nathan? You did bring his body back here, right?"
Nathan nodded hesitantly as he glanced to the cargo bays at the back of the ship. "Yeah, I uh... We put him near the others we managed to recover before we left."
Tina listened with concerned eyes as she held tightly onto Wade's hand, the former worker drone tightening his own grip while speaking further to Nathan. "Good. Maybe, after this is all over, we can... Make preparations for a service. Ron deserves that at the least."
"So... h-he's in one of... those?" Tina asked dreadfully, observing the body bags lying next to each other in front of one of the cargo bay doors before looking back to Nathan, who looked down at the floor before replying.
"...Yep." Initially, Tina started to move, morbidly concerned over Ron's exact fate before stopping herself, still holding Wade's hand as she stood next to him again. Catching a glimpse of her attempt to see Ron, Nathan raised a digital eyebrow at her. "You, uh... want to see him?"
Wade looked down to Tina, who returned the gesture as they pondered over the uncomforting idea. She admittedly didn't want to see Ron, fearful of seeing what was left of him after that battle, but in a twisted way, knowing Wade wouldn't lie to her about a close relative like Ron being dead, she desperately felt the need for even the slightest sense of closure.
Looking to each other, Tina finally built her strength up, giving the faintest nod to Wade as her answer. Accepting her willingness, Wade slowly looked to Nathan, who needed no further gestures or words as he slowly walked over to the body bags, Wade, Tina, and their colleagues in tow. Upon reaching the bags, Nathan knelt down as his friends stopped behind him, Wade and Tina watching as he slowly unzipped the bag open. Despite her effort to be brave, Tina couldn't help but let out a horrified gasp upon seeing Ron's body, immediately noticing the large wound with dark, dried blood at his chest.
Nathan shook his head in dismay as he looked upon the sight of his fallen friend in the flayed bag. "It was when we made our second attempt in raiding the factory back there. We... We managed to pass through most of the halls without much trouble, but... we we're ambushed as we got close to the conversion room."
"G, the disassembly drone that helped the company abduct me, attacked us, along with several other troopers he brought with him." Wade added, him and Tina holding each other tightly as he continued. "We fought them off well enough, but G got an upper hand on me. He almost killed me, but.... Ron got in the way." Tina felt herself beginning to cry as she collapsed into Wade's chest, the former worker drone embracing her ever more tightly as she wept for their friend.
F shook her head in dismay, disappointed in herself as she spoke up. "I could've saved him, if I hadn't let myself get beat down like that. I-"
"F!" Wade said sternly, F ceasing her self-degrading as he tried to ease her guilt. "We did the best we could. If anything, it could've gone a lot worse."
Kurtis patted F on her back as he spoke up on his co-worker. "He was a good man, tried to bring out the best in people. Taught Wade that ideal well, too." He looked to Wade with a smile, the drone taking the compliment with the same gesture as he lightly patted Tina on her back too.
"*sniff* Y-Yes... He d-did try to make life brighter with his actions." Tina croaked as she slowly lifted her head up off of Wade, wiping the digital drops off her face as she added, "He... Him and Wade did well to so many with their farm they had back home, Jasmine and I helped transport their harvests all across the colonies."
The group gave looks and nods of admiration at the labor Tina described, Wade nodding in affirmation as he added, "Yeah, we held that place up for a long while. But if it weren't for the recent storms that ran through this place, we probably would still be farming." He began to chuckle slightly as he noted the events after the storm. "Heh, then again, we probably wouldn't have gone to Ceres if that was the case. So, I'm quite glad life changed our course on that endeavor."
Nathan was about to speak on the matter, but was stopped as Kelly walked out of the cockpit area, speaking to Wade specifically. "Mr. Wade? Our operative and her boss wants to see you and some of your team, says it's about the trouble you and the others went through."
Wade and Tina looked to each other with raised eyebrows before looking to their friends, F raising a hand as she spoke to the couple. "Well, you heard her. Let's get up there." Looking to Nathan, she motioned for him to follow her before glancing to Kurtis, who nodded to her before kneeling down to seal Ron's body bag.
Turning back to Wade and Tina, F smirked at them as they quickly made their way up to the small bridge of the ship, Tina speaking to Wade about the interior and where to go. "I do remember these ships a bit, now that I think about it. There should be a smaller room at the top above us. Come on."
Holding her hand, Wade and Tina made their way into the cockpit, F and Nathan close behind as the four walked up the small steps to the pilot seats. Right next to the ascending steps were another set of such steps, albeit going the other way into another room as Tina mentioned. The lover drones walked up the second set of steps as they entered the room, catching the sound of a conversation in their ears.
"Yeah Tess, they did a number on the security forces from what I've been told by Mr. Kurtis. He seems quite pro-" J stopped as she heard a startled gasp coming from the entrance near the cockpit, spotting her requested visitors as they took notice of her.
Wade, however, was immediately in shock, Tina also spooked by the familiar face as her love drew a sword before holding it out defensively. F and Nathan looked to the two in surprise as the former raised her arms slightly as to calm down Wade, knowing this J wasn't an enemy.
"Whoa there, easy now." The human hologram said with her hands raised as Wade and Tina gave a faint glare at J, who stared unamused with her hands to her hips.
Easy, Mr. Wade. I'm a friend." J stated as Wade kept his blade trained at her.
"Didn't we just kill you out there earlier?" Tina asked as she held onto Wade's arm, J smirking as she took in the amusing detail.
"Oh, yes. I believe you must've taken out one of my clones, not surprised. I killed a few myself back there." The corporate drone replied as Wade lowered his sword, surprised at J's words as she looked to him.
"Clones?" Tina said in bewilderment, confounded by the idea of multiples of the same drone running around.
"So, there's more of you?" Wade asked as he swapped his sword back for a hand.
"Indeed there are, Mr. Wade. Effective disassembly drones get cloned more often." J answered as she cringed slightly, remembering part of the reason she ended up here. "Though, admittedly I wasn't efficient enough recently. I'm a clone of one of the old units dispatched about two decades ago, before the Disassembly Division was officially instated."
Tina raised an eyebrow at J's explanation. "Recently? If you were away all that time, what could've possibly stopped you now?"
The murder drone groaned in slight annoyance as she reluctantly explained her answer. "Well, the colony we were supposedly sent to wipe out was quite persistent. During one of our raids, some brat with a ray gun blasted me in two." Regaining her composure, J flicked her hair with a smirk. "Then again, my clones should be better than they are, the Administrator seems to have a dislike towards me, as far as I can tell."
Wade and Tina glanced at each other as they took in the news, perplexed at the story they were hearing as the former spoke up. "Well, I sure hope so. Your clone didn't put up as much of a fight as I was expecting."
"Right..." J said with a look of disappointment before clearing her throat. "But besides that, we don't have time for THAT kind of backstory. We've got a lot of talk to do, Mr. Wade."
The holographic human raised a finger, drawing Wade and Tina's attention as she spoke. "Say, didn't J tell me about a human friend you had? A 'brother' guy?"
J nodded as she now also became curious over their missing acquaintant. "Ah yes, Ron, I believe. Do you know where he is, Wade?"
The two drones looked down in sorrow as Wade answered in dismay. "He uh... he didn't make it."
J allowed a concerned look to breach her shield of confident pride as her human friend spoke up, sounding sad at the news. "Oh, I uh, I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. W- er... Carter."
"It's alright," Wade replied as he held Tina's hand, looking up to J and the hologram before continuing. "at least he's not hurting anymore."
"My... condolences, Mr. Carter." J said, calling Wade by his last name now as she recovered from the tragic news. "But, it seems you've found someone else important. Who's your friend?"
Wade perked up a bit as he prepared to introduce Tina again. "Ah, yes. This is Tina Fowley, my girlfriend. She was among those captured by the company, I got her out before they could turn her, however."
"She's a pilot too." Nathan chirped from behind Wade, J and her boss stifling laughs as they took in the amusing description of Wade's partner.
"Well, she's quite the cutie, I'll say." The holo-human said in amusement, Tina blushing at the compliment as J spoke as well.
"Indeed she is, good find, Mr. Carter." Chuckling to herself, she remembered that she hadn't even formally met Wade earlier, prompting her to return the effort. "Well, now's as good a time as any to introduce ourselves." Looking to the hologram, J spoke. "Though you probably know who I am, name's J. And this is my boss, Tessa."
Looking to the human girl with a pleasant smile, he spoke to her. "Well, pleased to meet you, Mrs. Tessa."
"Good to meet ya too, Wade!" Tessa replied energetically before bringing herself back to a more serious stance, Wade and Tina feeling a bit surprised by the change of air as she spoke further. "And as much as I hate to cut the pleasantries so short, J and I have some important things to brief you on. So, take a seat and get comfy, everyone."
Noting the pair of chairs in front of the small table J and Tessa were standing on the other side of, the couple took them as Nathan and F stood behind them, simply listening in as J began to explain the matter at hand. "So, you both are probably wondering what this whole mess was all about, correct?"
The two drones nodded as Tina spoke up. "I heard it was having to do something with being recruited for the Disassembly Division, that group you spoke of a second ago. Why did they need to steal me away from my sister up there?"
"Well, the thing is, they didn't." Tessa answered, putting her hands to her hips as her companion explained further.
"Indeed, a simple memory transfer and body scan would've sufficed, but it seems the Administrator was in a bit of a rush." Crossing her arms, J continued in disgruntlement. "From what we gathered, this was done by her as per request by the company CEO, Mr. Jenson. He wanted the Administrator to recruit more drones under a new model of disassembly drone, with slight upgrades that would presumably remove most of the persistent issues each of us have." Shaking her head in disappointment, J finished with, "But, it's clear she cared little for how they were acquired, and way too far overboard with her efforts."
Wade held back his anger as he felt his certainty on the ones responsible grow with J's explanation. "So, it's true? Your people did all this? Got my brother and countless others killed for us?"
The corporate drone seemed to give a sluggish wave of her hand as she replied to Wade. "Well, you see, this whole ordeal is much more complex than it seems." Readying a holo-projector from her hand as it showed the image of a worker drone, dressed in a maid uniform. The hair was silver, two strips of it going down the sides of its head, as well as bearing a bow at the top of it all. Though the hologram made it hard to tell certain details, the drone's eyes appeared faintly as yellow through the blue hue from the hologram light.
Wade, Tina, and their companions eyed the seemingly innocent worker drone in puzzlement as J spoke again. "Now, you should count yourselves lucky, cause what I'm about to tell you is something corporate wouldn't let me spew out to anyone under certain statuses." Looking to Tessa, she continued with a sly smirk. "Then again, it'd probably be forced out of us anyway later on even if we didn't decide to tell you. So, now would be the best time to give you a run-down of the truth we have to share."
"Truth?" Wade asked with a raised hand, J nodding in affirmation before replying.
"Yes." Clearing her throat, J began. "You see, the Administrator was not a creation of JCJenson. At least, not in the way they intended. In fact, she was once a normal worker drone, just like you and I were." Wade raised an eyebrow as J's holo-projector shifted to show a building, a large, very old looking manor that went up a couple of stories high. As Wade and his cohorts observed the structure, J continued her story about her and this Administrator's origins.
"A long time ago, at this place we'll call Elliott Manor, my boss, who was still a child at the time, brought in a few worker drones left outside in a dump near the mansion, mostly composed of scrapped worker drone bodies. Upon bringing us in, Tess would fix us up so we could be her friends. I myself, along with three other drones, were her closest companions. Her family weren't so keen on having us around, but, to keep their daughter happy and to make us useful, Mr. and Mrs. Elliott put us to work keeping the place tidy." The disassembly drone's projector shifted again to show J and her three fellow workers, dressed in the same maid attire J was shown in earlier. Wade and Tina stared at two of them, as they resembled the disassembly drones they fought earlier, most notably N and V.
"Among the four of us here, THIS one would be the biggest problem." The hologram zoomed into the worker drone displayed earlier, postured in a strange, slouched over posture.
"Her name is Cyn, and, unlike J, V and N there, she was more broken than I had surmised back then. Spoke like some old artificial voice generator thing." Tessa stated, pointing at the highlighted drone before Tina decided to speak up on the backstory.
"How broken? Was there something wrong with her coding?" She said as she put a hand to her core.
J nodded lightly as she gave her answer. "Most likely. Do you remember the protocol tape for proper disposal of worker units? Seen it at all?"
Tina and Wade shivered a bit as they thought of the presumed tape J spoke of, dread creeping in from their memories of seeing it as the latter of the duo answered. "I think so, once during a little maintenance time I had years back. I think it was called... 'Zombie Drones'?"
"That's exactly the one." J said with a nod before continuing. "Well, if you saw it all the way through, the pie chart diagram points out the outcomes for OS complications should a worker core be improperly terminated. Out of those outcomes, the smallest, least likely one was 'potentially hazardous mutations'." Pointing to Cyn on the hologram, J continued further. "As for Cyn here, she befell said mutations, and they would come to not only affect her, but all of us at the manor too."
Tina's eyes went wide as she started to click the pieces together, recalling herself reading up on the incident J was hinting at years earlier during a class she took at the college she and Wade attended. "Wait... You, you don't mean SHE was the one who caused the Elliott Gala Massacre?"
J nodded in affirmation as Wade spoke up, confused at the revelation. "Wait, I remember looking into that too. Didn't the news say it was some mass murderer that did it?"
"That they did." Tessa replied as she added to the story. "However, that was a cover-up by the company to hide part of what really happened."
Pulling up what appeared to be a large room full of people inside, J explained the tragedy shown on the projector. "Tessa's parents didn't treat the drones under their service well, and Cyn seemed to despise them for it. On that day during a gala hosted by the Elliotts, Cyn, utilizing the mutations I mentioned, slaughtered the entire attending party there." Glancing to Tessa, J finished with, "Tess and I tried to stop her, but... it was too late."
Holding their hands to their mouths, Wade and Tina looked on in horror, Nathan and F sharing similar dismay as the four looked to Tessa. Knowing their desire to hear how she was spared, Tessa spoke to them. "Despite seeing her kill my parents and everyone in that room with my own eyes, Cyn spared me from the carnage. Took me away to some place so I could be kept quiet."
Raising a hand, F spoke up. "Well, wait a minute, how did Cyn join the company after all that?"
"Good question." J replied, pulling up an image of Cyn and a man, whom Wade recognized as Halloway before the corporate drone explained. "Upon the arrival of law enforcement and agents sent by the company, they found Cyn, who had already turned me and the other worker drones from the manor into the first disassembly drones. After some chatter between the two, Dr. Edgar Halloway, a simple materials recovery officer at the time, struck a deal with her. Talking with the authorities, they managed to convince them to keep the incident on the down low while they took Cyn and her drones in for study. Through said study, addition of protocols and official installation of Cyn into higher company positions, not to mention the creation of the Disassembly Drone Division, the rest is history."
The four drones looked on in stunned shock, taking in Tessa and J's story with unease as Wade spoke up. "So, this new body, the crazy shit that we just went through... it's all cause of this Cyn being? And those who are helping her?"
"That's right." J answered as Tina raised a finger, still concerned over the capabilities of the Administrator as she spoke.
"But, how did she convert you all into what you are now? What were these 'mutations' exactly?"
Tessa sighed a bit as she prepared to explain the origins of this horrible program. "Well, from what information I could gather before I got out of Cyn's clutches a while back, the researchers put to work studying Cyn and her abnormalities came to regard the latter as some kind of program, which grew stronger and more capable quite fast as it was kept under the company's leash. Eventually, they gave it a name: AbsoluteSolver." Pulling out what looked like a smartcomm, Tessa flicked her finger over it as she explained further. "Despite all logic, the AbsoluteSolver program, or, Solver, could generate various things out of thin air, as well as manipulate objects and living beings in many ways. To be blunt, it's like some kind of freaky magic powers for drones.
"Seeing that they could learn a lot from this program, as well as use Cyn's abilities to wring out all kinds of products and items for them to sell and use, the company instated the Solver Project, a research group dedicated to understanding the AS and its potential." Raising a finger, Tessa looked to Wade as she finished her explanation on the Solver. "Said program has been branched out to several other planets over the years, helping to spread this virus as far as possible for purposes we're certain aren't good, given that one of those planets got devastated by an experiment one of the teams did involving the virus."
The news that this infection brought harm to one of the colony worlds didn't sit well with the lover drones, both of them looking on in dismay as J gave more details. "And with that in mind, this recent effort has only cemented our belief that Cyn is up to something sinister. So once we reach the base here in Nevada, we have to make preparations for bringing this Solver Project to a halt... BEFORE it can harm any more people."
Smirking deviously, Tessa raised a finger as she glanced to Wade, who looked to her with concern as she spoke. "By the way Mr. Carter, that Halloway guy you ran into earlier? He leads one of the main teams working on the project."
Wade scoffed in annoyance he was reminded of that man. "Doesn't surprise me, seemed like he was really close to the Administrator from what I saw." Then, thinking on the reason for this briefing he was attending, Wade looked to J and Tessa curiously. "Why are you telling us this?"
J crossed her arms as she explained. "Because, Mr. Carter, YOU are the only disassembly drone we managed to recover from that place. And, given your exceptional performance there, your help would be much appreciated in our mission."
"Mission?" Tina said with a raised eyebrow. "So we're not done yet?"
"For us, not in the slightest. We've got some explaining to do with the government officials stationed at the base we're heading to. As for you all," J answered before looking to the four, all of them returning the glance as she continued. "...that depends on what you all have to say. Can you lend us a hand?"
Glancing to each other, Wade and Tina gazed into one another before nodding in agreement, turning back to J and Tessa before giving their decision. "Well, after what I just went through, and what happened to my brother... I'm sure as hell gonna bring those bastards to justice in one form or another."
"Yes, Wade and I have some talking to do with this 'Dr. Halloway' fellow before this is all over." Tina added, her and Wade holding each others hand as J gave a smirk at their vigorous determination.
"I'm glad to hear you two feel the same on the matter." J said as Tessa put her hands to her hips, slumped slightly as she spoke in a disappointed tone.
"Unfortunately, it may be a minute before we see some action. Once we reach the base, you all will find a place to rest for the time being. Since it's a military base, it should be safe from any major retribution attempts by those blokes at the company." Pulling out her smartcomm again, she continued once more. "As for us, we'll talk to the leaders there and see what their decision will be on the matter."
The quartet seemed to grow concerned over that last part, Nathan raising a hand before speaking his mind. "So, if they say no? Does that mean...?"
J and Tessa glanced to each other before the former answered the veteran drone. "Well, in that case, while it will be harder without official military support, the Coalition will take us wherever we need them to in order to put a stop to the Administrator. Shouldn't be much to worry about."
Taking this somewhat comforting news to heart, Tina and Wade nodded in understanding before the latter spoke to the operatives. "Well, that's good to hear. Whenever you do get an answer, give us a heads up."
"We will, Mr. Carter." J replied to Wade before shifting in her stance, Wade and his friends standing up together as their disassembly drone superior spoke once more. "With all that said, you're all dismissed. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask."
"Thanks for clearing this up, Mrs. J. You too, Tessa." Wade said gratefully before turning to the exit, Tina walking with him as F and Nathan walked over to the operatives.
"Wade? Do you mind coming down to the bay below? I... I have something to show you." Wade nodded to her before they made their way down, the four people behind them continuing the chatter as the couple went to have their long overdue privacy.
Stepping out of the cockpit behind them, Wade and Tina sighed in comfort as they saw the troops busy with their tasks, not giving a glance to the two as they walked close to the sealed door of the transport. Admiring the enormous view the large window in the door gave for a moment, the two drones looked to each other as Tina dug into her pocket. "I was hoping to do this when we got back home, but... I got this from Eridanus while I was visiting." Finding her token of love to Wade, she pulled out the small box she showed off on the call earlier, opening it to reveal her present.
Wade admired the blue gemstone with wide eyes as Tina pulled it out with great care. "Wow... It's beautiful."
Tina chuckled as she extended the gem's necklace band out. "I knew you would, I just happened to stumble upon it while exploring the forest during a tour." Putting the two necklace bands around Wade's neck, she clipped the present together before pulling her arms back, adoring Wade's new add-on as she finished her sentence. "I felt it would be something nice for you to remember me by, while we're away from each other."
Wade smiled at Tina as he expressed his appreciation for the gift. "It certainly will." Stiffling a chuckle, the former worker drone held Tina's hand holding the box as he spoke further. "But, no matter how far apart we are, nothing could fill the space you hold in my heart."
"Same in mine, dear." Tina replied as she gazed into Wade's eyes, noting the faint green in his yellowed visor as she looked on in hopeful amusement. "And yet, even after all they did, I can still see those eyes. Changed from the soft, cool grass to the warmth of a blazing sun." She said while putting the box away, then placing a hand onto Wade's face as he looked off with a blush.
"Tina, I..." Wade began, unsure of how to put his thoughts to words as he tried to find them. "I don't know what they did to me, but I won't let it ruin our relationship." Holding her shoulders, Wade spoke to Tina further. "You're the most beautiful being I've seen in the whole universe, your warmth, your flight prowess... I want to protect that. I want to protect you."
"Oh, Wade." Tina murmured as the two touched their heads to one another, holding each other close in their efforts to provide affection. Such affection intensified as the two joined their metal lips, sharing a long kiss as they enjoyed their moment of awkward romance together.
...
Location: New Nellis Staryards, Nevada
The Chameleon transports zoomed over the large military air base as they arrived at their destination, several A-20 planes flying about over the base as they either carried out flight sorties or, more likely, investigated the arriving craft coming towards the base. After about an hour of flying over the country, the Coalition-USN task force finally arrived at the designated area to begin unloading their rescued drones to an area they could be protected more efficiently.
As the transport began to descend, Wade, Tina, and their friends observed the sight outside the window, spotting several landed aircraft and even a few docked warships. They admired the many ships resting for repair and refurbishment while they prepared to land and disembark for the base outside.
In the small bridge of the dropship, one of the two pilots tapped a button on the control panel, putting a microphone to their mouth before speaking into it. "Base Control, this is Transport Chi-729-B, we've got assets from the recent op lead by Captain Preston aboard. Request permission to land."
"Permission granted, Chi-729. Welcome back." The officer on the other end replied as the transport descended further, two lightningrod jets breaking off as they permitted the craft to land on their grounds below them.

Wave will not be included in this list as it worked for <24 hours, and I can't accurately assess it from memory. Sorry if this is shit, I'm dead tired and it's 2 AM.

Solara -------------- usability 3/5 - some buttons dont work, others are unlabeled, no injected indicator, breaks when server-hopping. w supported. appearance 3/5 - small UI, however rather eye-pleasing with a transparrent mode. UNC 2/5 - 55% (46/83), 100 divided by 5 = UNC score overall 10/15 Celery -------------- usability -/5 - loads fine, injects fine, couldn't get included scripts or UNC to work. others claim that it works, so i'll assume it's simply a me issue. can't accurately assess appearance 5/5 - amazing UI, animated, smooth text editor. UNC 1/5 - breaks upon trying to use UNC script. rather ironic. community member claims for it to be about 14%. 100 divided by 5 = UNC score overall -/15 Incognito -------------- usability 5/5 - injects on exe startup, every button functions and is labeled. appearance 3/5 - rather basic, uses in-game executor, gets the job done. every included script functions fine. w not supported. UNC 1/5 - doesn't function. devs claim for it to be somewhere <30%. 100 divided by 5 = UNC score overall 9/15 

Introduction:

Hi everybody. Its me again. Now that Finals are over for me, I am able to participate a bit more for the next couple of months now. And a good thing too, because i really wanted to participate in this month's competition. Specifically, I latched onto the "No/Unique Ultimate" prompt, as I built an Udyr-esque champion about 2 years ago (Side Note: Damn, that was 2 years ago?? I was just starting college and now I am halfway through my degree. Man, time flies!), and it fit this prompt perfectly. This is the link to the original post, as I will be tweaking a lot of things, given how Items and Runes have changed significantly since then. and I will have tuned and tweaked some numbers as well.
To summarize from the Introduction in the other post, Umbara is designed as a Specialist, Auto-Attack based Jungler from Ixtal. The main gimmick is that, just like Udyr, she has no Ultimate instead she has 4 Basic Abilities. The kicker is that she has access to only 2 of said Abilities plus a Unique passive at any given time, and she transforms to get the other abilities and passive. This is probably the most mechanically intensive champion that I have ever created, and I am really proud of it, so I am re-submitting it here.P

Abilities:

Passive: Bloom of Life
Umbara is the Aspect of Nature, allowing her to use the Magic of the 4 seasons, allowing her Basic Attacks to scale with 100% AP instead of 100% AD. Additionally, she changes form based upon the current season, gaining a unique Passive and access to two abilities
Spring Form: Umbara gains a Stack of Wild Growth for every second in combat with Enemies, Minions and Monsters, up to a max of 5. Each Stack grants her 8% Attack Speed, and 6% Lifesteal and Spellvamp.
Summer Form: Enemies and Monsters gain a Stack of Wildfire every second in combat with Umbara, up to a max of 3 Stacks. Enemies take 5% Bonus Magic Damage for every Stack of Wildfire. When fully Stacked, each Stack of Wildfire deals True Damage instead of Magic Damage
Autumn Form: Umbara gains a Stack of Bleak Decay for Every Second in Combat with Enemies and Monsters, up to a max of 5. Her Basic Attacks and Abilities benefit from 7 Magic Penetration for Every Stack of Bleak Decay.
Winter Form: Enemies gain a Stack of Frostbite every second in combat with Umbara, up to a max of 3 Stacks. Enemies are slowed by 20% for every Stack of Frostbite they have. When fully Stacked, Umbara's next instance of Damage on an enemy will consume all Stacks, and stun them for 1 second.
Umbara will always start off in her Spring Form at the beginning of the game, and keeps her current form upon death. Every 90 Seconds, or after a Takedown, while out of combat, she will transform into the next form, in the order listed above. Every 180 Seconds, she will gain a Stack of Primordial Evolution, up to a max of 3 Stacks. She can spend 1 Stack to go to her next Form in the list, after which she has to wait 15 seconds before she can use a Stack of Primordial Evolution again.
Additionally, Umbara has no Ultimate Ability, instead she has a 4rth Basic Ability. She can only use 2 Abilities, her Primary and Secondary, per form. Her Primary Ability corresponds to her current form, and her Secondary Ability corresponds to her Previous Form:
Spring Form:
Primary: Vernal Dawn
Secondary: Steel Sleet Slash
Summer Form:
Primary: Devastating Drought
Secondary: Vernal Dawn
Autumnal Form:
Primary: Autumnal Awakening
Secondary: Devastating Drought
Winter Form:
Primary: Steel Sleet Slash
Secondary: Autumnal Awakening
The Cooldown of Each Ability depends on whether it it the Primary or Secondary Ability. Primary Abilities have a Cooldown of 8 Seconds, and Secondary Abilities have a Cooldown of 13 Seconds. She has access to all her abilities at Level 1, but they can only be leveled up 4 times instead of 5. Additionally, Cooldown Reduction affects the Primary and Secondary Abilities equally, however Ultimate Cooldown Reduction will instead reduce the time it takes to gain a stack of Primordial Evolution.
Q: Vernal Dawn
Passive: Umbara stores all Damage Taken while in Combat with Enemies, Monsters and Minions.
Active: Umbara calls upon the Power of Spring and gain a Shield equal to (100 + 0.055% Bonus Health)% of the Damage Stored for 3 Seconds, and Heal for 30/40/50/50/70% of the Shield's Value over 3 seconds as well. While she is Healing, or Shielded, she does not Store any Damage
W: Devastating Drought
Active: Umbara conjures up a Magical Flame and Blasts the area in front of her in the shape of a cone, dealing 140-60% Total AP + 10/15/20/25/30% Target Max Health Magic Damage, and reducing 40%-10% of all Enemies' and Monsters' Magic Resistance, who are still in the cone, depending on their distance from Umbara, for the next 8 seconds. Leveling up this ability increases the width and length of the cone
E: Autumnal Awakening
Passive: Enemies and Monsters damaged by Umbara gain a Stack of Wild Toxin for 8 Seconds, stacking up to 5. Affected Enemies have 20% Grievous Wounds for Every Stack of Wild Toxin
Active: Umbara Ignites all Stacks of Wild Toxin into Spirit Fire, consuming all Stacks that exist, and Dealing 50/65/80/85/110 + 2/3.5/5/6.5/8% Target Missing Health Magic Damage per Stack consumed to all Enemies who where affected by Stacks of Autumnal Toxin.
R: Steel Sleet Slashes
Active: Umbara empowers herself with Snow Magic, giving her Basic Attacks and Abilities 75 + 30% Bonus AP On-Hit Physical Damage for the next 5 Seconds. She can recast this Ability within those 5 seconds.
Recast: Umbara dashes to a nearby Enemy or Monster, and rapidly striked them 3 times. Each strike counts as a Basic Attack and applies On-Hit Effects. Additionally, each strike ignores 5% of the Target's Armor, stacking on top of the previous amount of Armor ignored. Leveling up this ability makes her strike the target an additional time. This abilities animation and speed is reduced by Attack Speed
If the target enemy moves out of range of this ability, it will pause for 3 seconds, during which is the enemy comes into range, this ability will resume. If they do not come into range within those 3 seconds, then this ability will go onto cool down immediately.

Lore:

Umbara was born Millennia ago to a family of Nomads. They where camped at the edge of Shuriman Desert and the Ixtali Jungles. While this was happening, a terrible Winter Storm was paving its way through the continents, the like of which have never before been seen again. Snow fell meters at a time, sleet rained like blades from the sky, and the temperatures dropped to below freezing, even in what was supposed to be the warmest portion of the day. Yet when she was born, the storm started to cease. In front of their eyes, the snow and sleet stopped falling, the temperature started to rise,a and the clouds dissipated. And where Umbara touched the ground for the first time, a beautiful flower bloomed, one that no one had ever seen before. Thus her surname became, "Winterbloom".
Even as a child, Umbara had a close relationship with Nature. Whenever she was angry and threw a tantrum, the clouds immediately disappeared, plants withered and died, and the heat increased to near lethal heights and when she was sad, sleet and hail would drop from the sky, and feet of snow would start falling as well. Whenever she became happy and joyful, the spring rains would fall, and the jungles around them bloomed like nothing else, and when she was melancholy or nostalgic, the autumnal season came. In her early years she had no control over her emotions, and thus the seasons ran wild, yet as she grew up she cut herself completely off from her emotions. This was a strange power, with the ability to produce devastating consequences. She knew that it was her responsibility to bear, and she willed that it would never be used again by her.
Everything changed when more humans came. Her parents and their group, once nomadic, had settled into a small village on the edge of the border of Shurima and Ixtal. Ixtal had always been eyed by Shurima for its vast forests and rich resources, and now the culling had arrived. Hundreds of Thousands of Sand Soldiers poured into the Jungles, razing nature and people alike. The Ascendants lead the charge, and powered by the might of the Sun Disk, they left a trail of pure devastation in their wake. Umbara was the first village to fall, being right at the border, though not without a fight. The Ascendants where not yet in command of the Soldiers, and in their uncontrolled destruction they awoke a terrible beast. By this point Umbara was alone in this world, her family having been carried off by a plague years earlier, yet even still she felt no emotions. Instead she dedicated her life to preserving and serving the nature around her, finding a deep beauty to it, and trying to find out anything about her powers. It was as if Nature itself called out to her. When the soldiers came, she and the others in her small Hunter-Gatherer village fought well, but where defeated. Most where killed or taken prisoner, doomed to be slaves for the rest of their life.
Yet when they came for her, Nature itself unleashed its wrath. She was not in control of her body anymore, instead the Aspect itself had taken control. Her eyes glowed a bright neon green, and a green aura surrounded her. Up until now it had been content to let the world be, and Umbara to lock away her gifts with it, but now it was time to stop the defilers in their tracks. Dark Clouds churned overhead, appearing almost instantaneously. From them a rain of sleet and hail fell, arriving with devastating force. The temperature spiked rapidly, creating forest fires so hot, Soldiers burned inside thier armor near instantly. All the creatures that the Shuriman soldiers where using on their crusade, all the horses, oxen, even the creatures within the jungles that the Soldiers hunted for food died, their flesh turning acidic and toxic. The Vanguard of the invasion was utterly decimated beneath this reign of chaos.
In an entire day, the Aspect halted the entire invasion, yet when the Ascendants came it was different. Up until this point the Aspect had taken control of Umbara's Body and utilized the gifts it had given her at Birth to enact its vengeance, suppressing Umbara's conscious up till now. But Umbara was stronger than the Aspect had expected. When the Ascendants came, Umbara had suppressed the Aspect once and for all. She was horrified at the destruction she had caused by being so weak to let her power take over her, and once again forsook the Aspect's gift, repressing the Aspect itself nearly entirely. THe Ascendants easily found and captured her.
She let herself be captured, let herself be sold into slavery, let herself take the brutal punishments of her master, all as repentance for her mistake. Through all of this, she still suppressed her emotions and powers, though not nearly as well as she had thought. The Aspect could have taken over her body at any point, yet it was curious. Never before was it heard of that a mortal had resisted the power of an entire Aspect, and the Aspect wondered if it had finally found the perfect host. It had already given Umbara many gifts when she was born, yet she controlled them, and sacrificed an entire part of her personality to keep them under control. She had even devoted herself to Nature entirely as a way to understand her gifts even further. It watched for years as Shurima grew stronger, and Ixtal became a vassel state. It watched for years over Umbara, as she endured multitudes of pain, agony and hard labor as a penance.
The Aspect eventually devised a test for Umbara. One night, after a particularly harsh lesson from the Master, as Umbara slept, it gave her access to all of its' powers. It didnt take over her body this time, but the Aspect's powers where temporarily hers. it wanted to see what would be done with it. Would she waste them pettily by killing her master, escaping and then getting caught back again? Or would she demonstrate the same restrain she had earlier? The latter outcome came true in the end. Umbara felt a change within her that night, an increase in power, similar to what she felt when she stopped the Shurimans, yet without the extra-worldly force controlling her. She had vowed to never use it herself, and still kept this vow, but at the same time, she knew that it was within her, and it scared her deeply, fearing still a loss of control. For another set of years, she endured her self-punishment, feeling that no amount of it could redeem her self, and even through the multiple sales to different masters, even under the pain of the whip, even under the threat of death working amongst other slaves, she kept it to herself. Umbara was captured when she was a teenager at the age of 16, and now she was 27. She had kept her powers under control for so long, and quite impressively that the Aspect was satisfied.
It sent the the Aspect of Twilight to bring her to the peak of Mount Targon. It took many weeks, but the Aspect of Twilight, in its host, found Umbara. She tried to buy Umbara from her master, but he was having none of it, being a very suspicious and jaded person. Shurima had long finished its conquest of Ixtal, and thus good slaves where hard to come by. The Aspect of Twilight was having none of it. Diplomacy having failed, it secretly freed Umbara in the middle of the night. They started their journey back to Targon. Along the way she fed hydrated the malnourished Umbara, and explained all about the Aspects, the different one, their powers, responsibilities, and that she was destined to become the Host to the Aspect of Nature. Umbara herself did not believe any of this at first, and eventually when she did, she rejected the offer of the Aspects. Guilt and horror still overcame her, even 11 years later. She oft woke up screaming at night, as she dreamed of the destruction her body had caused, and only being able to watch it. She escaped multiple times, and attempted to again sell herself into the Shuriman work horse, yet every time she did, the Aspect of Twilight bought her back. Once they crossed over into Targon, Umbara gave up on escaping, as this was a wholly foreign land, and instead tried to end herself multiple times, yet she threw herself off a cliff, a portal would appear and dump her back on the path. Eventually they reached the peak of Mount Targon, and the Aspect of Nature itself spoke to her.
It told her many a things. It admitted to giving her gift at birth, it praised her for her sacrifice to control these gifts, it admitted to taking over her body to defeat the Shuriman Army, it recognized her conviction to her word, even after many years of abuse. It spoke many more things, yet Umbara was in shock. A Divine entity, hitherto she had never even heard of was speaking to her, and telling her how her life had been shaped for this very moment. She then felt once more, a feeling of Guilt, but this time it was mixed with a sense of Duty. She contemplated her life thus far, wondered if this was what she was meant to do in life? She remembered when she first suppressed her emotions, and in extension her powers, when her family died of a plague and she felt nothing for fear of unleashing it all, she remembered all the years of study and introspection in the Wilds of Ixtal, as she sought to understand what where these powers, and why she of all people had them. The Aspect's final words before its offer, was praising her for her restraint and her sense of duty. Nature itself was a benevolent being, yet when triggered it was a force not to be toyed with, and Umbara displayed all these qualities.
In the end, she accepted the Aspect's offer, and in view of all the other Aspect's and their hosts, she transformed. A Beam of Bright Green light surrounded her. Raw natural energy flowed through her. And she came out a different person entirely. Her eyes glowed green. Her hair, once brown, was now shamrock green. All scars and imperfections on her body where healed and removed. She now wore a white dress outlined in colors reflecting the current season, replacing the tatters that she had worn as her time as a slave. And her powers grew exponentially as well.
The Aspect of Nature had not just taken Umbara for its Host, they had instead fully merged together, something only few Hosts and Aspects have managed to do. Their conscious was one, their memories one and their power one. Every single experience, memory and power of the Aspect was no Umbara's giving her a eternity's worth of experience and knowledge to pull from. Umbara now wielded the Bident of Nature. The 2 pronged Scepter exuding the power of the Seasons, just as her powers had before, but now instead of attuning itself to her emotions, she had free will over them. Finally, with this power, comes the final Gift of Nature itself. Nature is unending, it can never be fully destroyed, and it will always regenerate. The Aspect's Host is considered immortal unless the physical body of the Host is irreversibly destroyed, otherwise it will regenerate over time, no matter the injuries. There was no more Aspect and Host anymore, there was only Umbara.
For Millennia, Umbara was the personification of Nature. She watched as time flowed around her, and she protected Nature around the world. She watched as the Host to the Aspect of Twilight died, and became good friends with the new one, Myisha. She watched as Azir's ambition led to the fall of Shurima, and she spit upon his final resting place. When the Great Darkin War began, she was instrumental in not only protecting her domain, but also proposed a scorched earth method to ending the Darkin once and for all. Hellfire and Sleet rained from the sky, the oceans churned and the sand of the Shuriman Desert swirled under her wrath. She nearly succeded in destroying the Darkin once and for all until Mysiha taught the mortals how to seal them away. When Myisha died, she mourned her, and became a Mother figure to the new Host to the Twilight Aspect, Zoe. Now, as the Noxians have sown chaos and discord over the natural world in Ionia, Umbara unleashes her Anger. Nature is benevolent, until it is crossed, then it becomes veangeful. These traits where reflected in Umbara, making her the perfect host to the Nature Aspect. She changed the weather on the Noxians, made the Seasons so severe that they oft retreated under threat of death. She sank their fleet, burned their crops, killed their livestock and healed and preserved the Ionian wilds.
Now, several new issues have appeared in Runeterra. Ionia itself is forgetting about Nature itself, and becoming no better than the Noxian scum. Azir has been resurrected, and with him the bastardly Ascendants. The Frejlord is in chaos as the followers of Volibear wreak havoc, and the Demigods stand idly by. Targon itself has two rogue Aspect Hosts, both of whom have no respect for Nature either. And on top of this, the void has been unleashed in parts of Shurima, destroying anything and everything in its path. Through all of this, Umbara watches, waiting for the right time to strike, and when she does, the world hath better be ready, for the might of Nature has not been released in millennia, and none thus far are prepared for such a harrowing, nor on this scale.

Quotes, Interactions and Appearances:

Pick and Ban Quote:
Pick Quote: All that Blooms, can also Wilt!
Ban Quote: Nature waits for no one but me!
Special Interactions:
Aatrox: You where sealed away once before, NOW YOU DIE!
Anivia: There is more Weather than Snow, Cryophoenix.
Azir: You where better as Sand, let me turn you back to it!
Diana: Host or not, I will defend my domain!
Ivern: My praises, Green Father.
Kennen: You should learn something new, Lightning Lord!
Leona: As I told your lover, my power Eclipses both of yours. Don't forget it!
Maokai: One day, we will restore your home.
Nasus: You should have stayed in your Library, Ascendant! All the knowledge in the world cannot save you now!
Ornn: Balance will be bought back to the Frejlord, with or without you!
Pantheon: Do what you will Pantheon, we have no grievances, nor will I make any.
Renekton: The Butcher indeed! Your blood waters my garden!
Swain: Your Dark Magic is a Defilement on the land. I will purge you and your sin from it!
Udyr: You think nature is your ally? You merely adopted it, I was born with it!
Volibear: End this, or I will!
Umbara's appearance changes depending on her form. She has Shamrock Green Hair, Pale Skin and wears a white dress. The Dress itself is is outlined and has designs in colors depending on her form. Summer Form is Dark Red, Autumnal Form is Orange, Winter Form is Light Blue and Spring Form is Light Green.

Analysis:

So for the Analysis portion, I will be going over what changes I made, as I did rework a lot of stuff. Looking back, there are some quite absurd stuff that I wrote in the old post, like 30% Max Health True Damage for example. At the bottom is a full change log that you guys can see, and I will keep that updated if there are any other changes I make before the voting stage.
A lot of my changes where in the spirit of aligning things more closely with how I want this champion to function. I want this champion to be an AP Bruiser of sorts, akin to Gwen, Diana and Mordekaiser in the jungle. I really took a lot of inspiration from Mordekaiser's builds of Riftmaker, Liandry's Rylai's, but I also wanted to make things like Malignance and Blackfire Torch and Nashor's Tooth potentially viable as well. The goal was to make her abilities scale not with primarily damage but with other stats. For example, Vernal Dawn's shielding and Healing is based on Bonus Health, While Steel Sleet Slashes scale with the amount of Strike it can make. This means that you can build things like a Riftmaker and not be punished for building not raw Damage.
The Passive is where I made a lot of changes. Specifically, I reduced the Stack count from 8 and 5 to 5 and 3. Keeping 8 stacks on an enemy is just not viable, given that they will most likely have some form of mobility to get away and let the stacks fall off, or if it is a sort of champion that wants extended fights like Darius, Aatrox, etc then they are going to very much stat check you unless you are in your Spring Form. Overall, the stack count is down, but to compensate the stats and effects per stack is up. Everything comes out roughly even at max stacks. The other major component I changed is how Ability Haste affected Umbara. Now that there is significantly reduced CDR on Mage/AP Items in general, I think it is safe to allow CDR to affect normal abilities now, especially given that the items that have CDR are Bruiser-y items anyway. Ultimate CDR via Ultimate Hunter and Malignance now affect how Primordial Evolution stacks. The one thing in retrospect that I did not want was having players use primordial evolution to liberally change their forms at will, as the entire point of this champion was the 4 Seasons and balancing different playstyles and effects. To that end, I made Primordial Evolution Stacks take much longer to get, however if you really wanted to, then a fully Stacked Ultimate Hunter + Malignance reduced the CD by about 1/3 which is still significant enough that it makes speccing into these items viable, at least at first sight. Beyond that, i also reduced the lock out time of using a stack of Primordial Evolution, as the goal of Primordial Evolution is to give a way for players to get the right/needed/wanted form before major objectives without disrupting the overall cycle of the Seasons.
As I mentioned above, I reworked a lot of how the abilities scale, so that she can be that AP Bruiser Champion. Vernal Dawn no longer has an absurd Healing and Shielding Ratio, but rather now scales with Bonus Health a la Riftmaker, Liandry's, Rylai's etc. This is also much healthier design, as healing and shielding that much is absurd, and this keeps the essence of the ability intact while keeping her on track.
Devastating Drought has a significantly higher AP scaling when Champions are close to Umbara, and deals Max Health Magic Damage, however realistically this would only max out if an enemy is so close that the models are basically overlapping. Its hard to describe and tune such things without a diagram and actual models, so just assume that the scaling is reasonable enough to not be absolutely bonkers for the sake of the champion design. The main idea behind this ability, which is that leveling it up increases the cone size, is still intact, all that is changed is the damage.
Autumnal Awakening got a lot of number re-tuning to make it more balanced and useable. Again, the Stack count is down because 8 is just unrealistic in modern League, and thus the damage has been amped up a bit to compensate. In addition, it now deals Missing Health Damage, and this is because it is intended to function more as a Conditional Finishing tool rather then an engage or simple damage nuke.
Steel Sleet Slashes, I made a lot more conditional but I also reworded a lot of things to be more clear. Most importantly, since leveling up this ability added an additional strike, If it was a simple Pantheon W then anybody in range would get obliterated once you level this up a bit. Pantheon W is anyway super un-fun to play against, so this was an automatic red flag in my book, so I balanced it on when enemies come into and leave the range of the ability. When they leave, there is a small window where if Umbara can reach them again, the ability will resume, otherwise it goes on Cooldown. This way, if you have mobility you can use it to escape the onslaught of damage, and if you do not then Umbara in Winter Form is designed for you to die to.
In terms of build, I really see some combination Rylai's, Riftmaker, Blackfire Torch, Malignance, Liandry's, Demonic Embrace and Nashor's Tooth being core items on her, depending on how you want to play her. Umbara really synergizes with DoT effects and Bruiser items, however hybrid Assassin-Bruiser items like Nashor's Tooth I can see being viable, especially given that she can be a viable assassin for half the time if you spec into it. At the same time, you are Bruiser for the other half the time, and the abilities you have still function on Bruiser items, so you can certainly spec into the other side. In total, I would forsee her having a lot of build variety and the ability to switch gears on a whim.

Change log:

May 11-12, 2024:

• Passive: Bloom of Life
  • Spring Form Passive: Max Stacks 8 > 5, AS and Lifesteal adjusted to be the same at Max Stacks. Spellvamp added.
  • Summer Form Passive: Max Stacks changed from 4 > 3. Bonus Magic Damage Ratio changed from 2.5% > 5% flat. 5% more Bonus Damage at Max Stacks
  • Autumn Form Passive: Max Stacks 8 > 5. Magic Pen per stack increased 5 > 7. 5 Less Magic Pen at max Stacks but still 35 Magic Penetration
  • Winter Form Passive: Max Stacks 4 > 3. MS Slow increased per stack, but overall 10% less slow at full stacks. Changed wording to be more clear
  • Form Transformation will occur out of combat instead of immediatly.
  • Primordial Evolution charge time 120 > 180 seconds.
  • Primordial Evolution lock-out time reduced from 30 > 15 seconds.
  • Max Stacks of Primordial Evolution reduced 4 > 3 (using 4 stacks puts you at the same form, therefore its pointless)
  • Cooldown Reduction now affects Basic Abilities, and Ultimate CDR now affects the time for Primordial Evolution
• Q: Vernal Dawn
  • Shield value changed to (100 + 0.055% Bonus Health)% of Damage stored
  • Heal amount changed to 30/40/50/50/70% of the Shield's Value
• W: Devastating Drought
  • AP Ratio changed to 140-60% Total AP + 10/15/20/25/30% Target Max Health Magic Damage
  • Magic Resist Reduction now applies for the next 8 seconds instead of only benefiting this Ability
• E: Autumnal Awakening
  • Max Stacks reduced 8 > 5
  • Grievous Wounds per Stack increased 10 > 20%
  • Damage per Stack changed to 50/65/80/85/110 + 2/3.5/5/6.5/8% Target Missing Health Magic Damage per Stack
• R: Steel Sleet Slashes
  • Slightly re-worded
  • Reworked slightly
    • Active now empowers Basic Attacks
    • Recast is a Dash + Striked
    • Moving out of range pauses strikes for 3 seconds

The Broken Promise of Universal Availability
Update: Thanks to Tracee responding to a comment in the thread about Android keyboard issues, I was able to get in touch with the web development team, and a dialogue has been initiated. I'm hoping that this will lead to some accessibility improvements in the future. I'll leave this post here for historical purposes, but my attitude has changed. A lot of this frustration could have been avoided if I had been connected to the right people sooner. This is why it's vitally important for social media teams, support teams, and development teams to work closely together. Developers don't know if there's a problem if they don't get notified. I was convinced that Duolingo didn't care much about screen reader accessibility, and I'm very glad to have been proven wrong. Original post is below.
During Duocon 2023, there was a lot of talk about the goal of Duolingo making language learning "universally available" to everyone. While this sounds great, it apparently does not extend to people with disabilities. More specifically, blind people who use screen readers to access Duolingo. Please note that I cannot speak to the accessibility of the iPhone or Android apps, because I do not use those devices. This is going to focus entirely on my experiences using the Duolingo website, which is now almost unusable without resorting to ridiculous measures as of a few days ago.
Duolingo has always had some accessibility issues, but most of the web interface was technically usable during the near two years I have been using it. I have repeatedly sent in bug reports about these issues, and aside from some issues with unlabeled buttons when the new learning path rolled out, I have seen absolutely zero progress in this area. I have also attempted to reach out through X as well as Facebook and YouTube comments, and aside from some likes here and there by fellow users of Duolingo, I have been met with silence. I also posted a thread here a while back about the removal of the keyboard option when writing sentences in one's base language and how that makes things difficult for screen reader users. Unsurprisingly, nothing has been done.
so, what are the current issues? The first is not that big of a deal, but it is still an issue that should be easy to fix. The issue is with the links that take users to the shop, practice hub, and so on. This is what a screen reader user hears whenever they go over these links:
Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendo0cecd302cf0bcd0f73d51768feff75fe Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendo784035717e2ff1d448c0f6cc4efc89fb Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendo5187f6694476a769d4a4e28149867e3e Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendoca9178510134b4b0893dbac30b6670aa Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendo7ef36bae3f9d68fc763d3451b5167836 Unlabeled graphic Graphic vendo0e58a94dda219766d98c7796b910beee
As you can no doubt see, these links do not have proper alternative text, so they appear as meaningless gibberish. Fortunately, I am able to work around this problem, so it is not critical. Despite pointing this out through a report almost two years ago, it has not been fixed. This is most likely the simplest thing of all to fix.
Next, the amount of days in a streak after completing a lesson can no longer be found. The page simply says "day streak."
The next issue is quite irritating indeed. It has to do with the way the content of the main page scrolls. If I navigate beyond a certain point, the page content begins to scroll slowly on its own until I force it to stop. I have mentioned this to other screen reader users recently, and they have confirmed this behavior. I do not know exactly what causes this, but I now assume that the page is meant to be navigated like a web application, so attempting to navigate with my screen reader's standard web navigation keystrokes most likely causes the behavior. Unfortunately, there is not a very accessible way to navigate the page like a web application, and all that can be heard is "lesson button" when navigating with the tab key. Fortunately however, Duolingo automatically tries to put the user where they were last, so this is really only a problem if one wishes to navigate further up or down the page. Still, this is highly irritating, and I do not understand why my reports about it have seemingly been ignored.
Next on the list is the ridiculous way that the total XP for a lesson is shown. It used to say in plain English how much XP was gained. Now this is what I hear:
TOTAL XP
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 GOOD 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 %
This is useless, enough said.
The next change was the removal of the keyboard option for certain exercises. Since I already posted something about this, I will not repeat it here. Suffice it to say that being forced to write by hunting for buttons and attempting to put words in the proper order when I have a perfectly usable keyboard to type with is not fun when I know exactly what I want to type in my base language.
I have been saving the best, or worst, for last. As of a few days ago, I can no longer read the text of certain exercises. These are exercises that ask the user to translate a sentence or fill in a missing word. If a sentence has audio, this is less of a problem. However, the average user is going to think that the text is simply not there and assume something is broken. They are going to report and say the text is missing, when it is in fact not missing at all.
I was about to do just that myself, but I had the sense to take a screenshot and verify the content with my screen reader's Picture Smart feature. I found that the text was visibly there, but for some reason the screen reader could not find it through normal means. Interestingly enough, I can work around this by tabbing around where the text should be and get it word per word, but this stops working when leveling a skill to legendary. The only options then are to either take a screenshot of the page and use Picture Smart on it, or go through the word bank and guess what the sentence is. I should not have to put in this much effort to read the text of an exercise. Combined with the forced use of the word bank, this is unacceptable.
For almost two years, I have been patient. For almost two years, I have worked around the accessibility issues as the web interface has steadily degraded in functionality. For almost two years, I have waited for something, anything to be done in response to my reports and attempts to engage with someone at Duolingo. That ends right now. This abhorrent and blatant disregard for accessibility will no longer be tolerated, and there will now be consequences starting immediately.
Phase one is this thread. By posting this thread, Duolingo's behavior is now out there for anyone to see, and I fully encourage anyone who wishes to take action to do so. Nothing illegal, please.
If nothing is done in a couple weeks or so, phase two will commence. I will contact a prominent figure in the blindness community who has a podcast that is listened to by many people around the world, and he is very focused on calling out tech companies who fail to make their products as accessible as they possibly can. Everyone who listens to that podcast will know about this.
Phase three will be looking into reaching out to the various technology news outlets about this, which will bring it more into the public eye.
my hope is that people will create enough noise that Duolingo can no longer ignore the problem. Something will have to be done to avoid serious damage to Duolingo's reputation, especially since they claim to want to make language learning "universally available" to everyone. Everyone includes the blind and other people with disabilities, too.
Here is a friendly tip for Duolingo: Take some of that money you invest in things like AI and fancy animations, and use it to make sure your product is actually usable by as many people as possible. Make sure you have an actual technical support system to address issues instead of leaving people wondering whether their issues are even being seen as well.

Got to work and I see the car of a person training, a 5th of gin on top of a crate of cranberry juice caught my eye. I thought “ah, alcoholic, wonder how old. If he’s young then I’d imagine it’s a phase but if he’s older than might be a problem” but shrugged it off none of my business.
Til I walk in and in the middle of the counter in the office is an unlabelled 5th of gin. So I look at my coworkers and trainee like WTAF? He makes a joke about getting hammered last night (he’s training to be night staff in a group home with vulnerable people.). He explains that it’s his water bottle. Makes more offhand jokes about alcohol, but it was the end of his shift so he leaves.
Now, I couldn’t get this out of my head. The red flags were flying. The home I work in is mostly non-verbal clients, he could easily get away with drinking on the night shifts. I was left wondering how long it would take until he slipped a shot of gin in the bottle… then how long til it’s two shots? It was all I could do to not open it and take a whiff. It felt too close to the manipulation of my ex, making jokes to normalize his drinking problem. Like a way to get people to say “it’s okay” without saying it’s okay. At first I didn’t realize why I felt so offset by it til I realized…. I’ve just been triggered. I just spent the morning telling my alcoholic ex that I didn’t want to see him after he was grabbing me in anger. All the times alcohol was covertly normalized in my house hold to accept things that weren’t acceptable.
And then there’s this guy, who is still orientating advertising his empty at my work at 7am. I reported it to my manager and moved on with the day. Now though, I feel like I overreacted. It just caught me so off guard, my composure was lost pretty quick and I was struggling to hold back tears. My other coworker thought it was funny and the other didn’t notice. On the other hand, I was completely thrown through a loop. Just needed to vent cause wow, my emotions got wrecked in the first hour of work.

🪞 “It's much easier to get in that it is to get out,” Emilie Autumn used to say. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 - Part 4.2
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵

THE PRESENT DAY: “ASK ME ANYTHING (WELL, NOT QUITE)”

​

"Ask me anything" titles are catchy, and that’s why I’m using one. But, obviously, don’t ask me anything, by which I mean that, if you think I wouldn’t answer it, you’re probably right. Ask me something really good. I’d love to answer you. I’d love to have comments on these posts, in fact, so that I could answer questions there regularly and ask you things as well, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or so Einstein is supposed to have said, and attempting to create yet another interactive online venue after every previous attempt has ended in heartbreak—forums, facebook groups, social media accounts—it would indeed be insanity to think that this time would be any different. So there are no comments. This too is heartbreaking in the sense that, and you may not realize this, but I desperately want to connect more completely with you—to be able to intelligently converse and share and exchange. We can do that in person, of course, because the wrong people never show up in person. Isn’t that funny… So, perhaps we’ll have to arrange that;). I’ll start you off with an example question I’d want to know if I were you (I can almost guarantee that you do not want to know this). Q. Hey EA, how do you keep your wireless bodypack transmitter secure when you are leaping about in skimpy costumes and doing frequent costume changes? Also, dye your roots. A. Fantastic question, EA, and I just dyed my roots thank you very much. ... (Deleted blog post followed by a year of radio silence, 2022 📝)

Sooo. For the past five-ish years, the vibe in the Asylum has been that of a protracted Christmas dinner where everyone is tensely moving their food around in their plate, bracing themselves for whatever will trigger the screaming match. Wondering what it's going to be this time. Weary old-timers make small talk about the food because no other topic feels safe. Every glance, every forced smile, is fraught with eons-old grudges and unspoken regrets; every nervous pleasantry sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation. Aunt Emilie always insists on hosting, but not-so-secretly hates having people over. Sooner or later, she finds a way to get all of these assholes out of her house. Most of the adult children are daydreaming about going no-contact.
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.

YE OLDEN DAYS: CUCKOOS OF A FEATHER NEST TOGETHER

In the beginning, it was beautiful.
EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.

It wasn't just about Emilie on the forums. People could chat about almost anything with near free reign, making connections and lifelong friends. ... This community mattered SO MUCH to people. They felt included, accepted, and understood within the walls of the Asylum. People invested their time and creative energy into keeping the forums a vibrant, active community, and made sure that carried over into the real world. ... I've never seen anything like it in a fan space. I doubt I ever will again. (@Asylum_Oracle - “Fandom History” Instagram highlight 🔍📝, which contains most of the sources for this segment.)

And it did, indeed, carry over into the real world. There were numerous meet-ups – a few organized by EA, many more spontaneous. People who didn't know any other EA fans in real life, or were just excited to add new Plague Rats to their friend group, would regularly connect with other forum users from their area to meet up and hang out before EA shows. “Who else is dressing up??”
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.

People who would never normally be involved in an artist's fanbase were in EA's world. And not only were they known – they were respected and incredibly active with the fanbase. These people who managed an online message board were willing to engage in real-world meet-ups (with no security??) because of how tight-knit the community they had built was. People turned out to this event. People traveled to go to this event. It was a short reading of a book that hadn't been released yet, and wouldn't be for some time. Why? Because not only was it a chance to meet Emilie and listen to parts of the new book, but it was also a chance to hang out with their friends from the Asylum. ... The fandom really was a family for a lot of people. (@Asylum_Oracle)

“SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

It all started with The End.
The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.

Fan: Okay. Before I start, I just want you to know that I think it's very good that EA is getting more popularity, and that she can release lots of albums, but - are 5 editions of the same album really needed? You may say now “ah, it's not the same, it has 2 bonus tracks” or whatever, but I mean: it's not new material. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for it, maybe I'll even buy it, but I'm just wondering if she shouldn't keep herself busy with other (maybe more important) stuff? * hides * EA: Nobody's forcing you to buy it. Thanks.

Record scratch.

Fan 1: is this Opheliac release version number 4? lol If she's recording NEW tracks, then surely they deserve to be sold by themselves, otherwise people are going to have to buy an album that they may have already bought twice (like me!). But... alas, I am a fool and adore everything this woman does... im buying it lol Fan 2: exactly – if it was just reissuing the last version of Opheliac to tap into new markets that would be fine (...) but if they start adding extra bits of material to albums people already have then the true muffins are going to feel obliged to buy new copies (...) EA: How exactly are you obliged to buy anything? Nobody is forcing you to spend a fucking penny, my dears. I suppose it would make more sense to you to simply not have my records available any more as the old label I just escaped from will no longer be distributing them? Forgive me for adding extra tracks. No obligation necessary.

...Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can see both sides of the argument here. Fans are annoyed at the idea of spending money on barely-anything-new, because they love EA and buy every single CD she releases. EA is exasperated by fans acting like she's twisting their arm and somehow resenting the inclusion of new material, when she was just ensuring that her album would remain available for purchase and trying to keep things interesting.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?

FantineDormouse: Uhm, Emilie, love, I don't mean to sound rude or anything... but maybe you should have a cup of tea and relax a little.

...
* sound of archduke getting shot *

EA: Excuse me? You can throw this onslaught of absolute cruel bullshit at me and those I work with in my own space that I own, and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing. Relax? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? FD: I'm not trying to piss you off even more, Emilie. And trust me, I have to deal with it myself, and as much as I would really love to punch the cunts I have to deal with in the face, I don't. You're pissed off, I get it. You're bipolar, which makes it 10x worse, I get that. I'm just not the person to stand around and do nothing when a fight where I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of regret is going on.

Famous last words. Literally! Immediately after EA delivered her irate closing statement – which includes one of my all-time favorite EA zingers, bolded...

EA: I cannot believe this... You just don't stop, do you? So just because I've shared the personal information with you all that I happen to be bipolar, I can't get pissed off at all of you being perfectly awful in the very space that I pay fuckloads a month to have up (has it ever occurred to you all that I pay dearly for this space you play around in?) Why not just tell me that I must be upset because it's my time of the month? Seriously, get the fuck out of my house. You are unbelievable, and your level of patronization is almost criminal. Don't make me write another book. With muffins like you, who needs enemies? Nothing I say or feel is legitimate, not ever ever ever because I'm bipolar... discredited before I begin... unbelievable...

...FantineDormouse got permabanned.
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.

To those of you who appear not to understand why said posts, most especially those of the banned party, were offensive to me, I give you the option to either educate yourselves on your own time and in your own space (because please never forget that this is my space that I share with all of you at my own expense, and in which I generally give you all the freedom I would wish for myself), or to resign your posts in the Asylum Army – this is not the place for you, and I humbly suggest that you turn your attention and support towards other artists of a more placid, non-controversial, and less opinionated nature; there are more than enough of them out there, and I’m sure they all have forums of their own.

Some fans did leave. Most stuck around, whiplashed. Soon, the storm quieted down, and business as usual resumed on the forum. But something had been damaged beyond repair. The FantineDormouse fiasco had erected walls and drawn lines in the sand, both around EA and among her fans; its sad specter would haunt every Asylum crisis that spiked up forever after. “Fucking Patronizing Fucking” or “FPF” 🔍 became memetic shorthand in the fandom for overreaction and self-righteousness. 🐀
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠

A NOTE ON HARASSMENT: “MAD GIRL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU?”

Wouldn't they stop When you asked them to leave you alone? (“Mad Girl”, 2008 🎵)

Now, let's be clear, because it should not be minimized: EA has also been the target of genuine online harassment. Based on the simple fact that she is a woman with a public presence on the internet, I have zero doubt that EA has received (and perhaps continues to receive) more than her share of truly vile, bigoted, creepy and threatening messages – and, knowing what I know about the darker recesses of the Asylum, a terrifying amount of emotional blackmail and obsessive projection from people who hold her to punitively high standards. I'm also inclined to believe that it started way before she ever did anything that warranted any backlash. And that fucking sucks. It's repulsive and inexcusable, and the people who harass her should crawl into a hole and live among the worms.
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.

The "public eye" isn't an [enviable] place to be, and the closer I've come to it, the more horrified I've been. Because, for starters, who is "the public?" Is "the public" my audience? Hell no. My audience is special. They are not the general public. If they were the general public I would be a lot wealthier. The "public eye" means getting stalked, harassed, viscously judged, and put in danger. If I do things in the future that gain notoriety, I will do them in spite of fame, not because of it. I am out for world domination, but not fame. (Interview for The Moaning Times, 2014 📝)

In real life (well, mostly online, but I mean: on this shared plane of existence), things play out slightly differently. The Venn diagram of “true blue fans” and “people who criticize EA" and "people who know way too much about EA” is a circle. The call is 100% coming from inside the Asylum, and I think EA rationally knows that. But here's the thing: no matter how many shows and meet-and-greets you've dressed up for, how many loving and supportive comments you've left, or how many family heirlooms you once pawned to purchase a copy of the not-for-sale 2003 DJ pressing of Enchant... the instant EA feels attacked, everyone is a saboteur and a bully until proven otherwise, and suspected treason is dealt with on the spot. One strike, you're out. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her threshold for bullying seems to be “any remotely thoughtless opinion from any stranger on the internet”.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.

You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy, and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you – It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end You will see: It's the Opheliac in me... (“Opheliac”, 2006 🎵)

And YES, it is extremely regrettable to have this as a trigger, when you're a public figure and you're bound to receive more negative feedback than the average citizen. “It's what she signed up for”, “it comes with the territory” and all that jazz. I really don't think EA was unaware of that fact when she decided to become a musician, share her personal life, and form an intense parasocial bond with her audience. But maybe she underestimated how hard it would be to process and recover from.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.

A MADHOUSE UNDER MARTIAL LAW: MARCHING INTO THE FORUM WARS

There are two sides to every story... except for this one! (“If I Burn”, 2012 🎵)

You may have noted the military imagery in EA's “Make a Fucking Choice” response post – “resign your post in the Asylum Army”! What do psychiatry and the military have in common? They're both institutions of top-down social control. 🔍 EA's mixed metaphor may be a bit clunky, but it did foreshadow the evolution of the Asylum – in terms of aesthetics and power dynamics – in the years that followed the FantineDormouse incident and the release of The Book.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.

The Emilie Autumn forum is a dystopian hell. Truth be told, when I decided to leave you could not do anything but gush about Emilie. Otherwise all of her extremist arse kissing fans will be down your throat, ripping you apart in seconds, if you so much as questioned her behaviour. So much for freedom of opinion, let alone the idea of creating a harmonious community for ‘outcasts’. Hahaha. (2014 🐀)

The word filter thing really wasn't a big deal – I'm just pointing it out as one goofy expression of EA's need to control the narrative and rhetoric, which became especially noticeable in those post-book, pre-FLAG years. By that point, EA's fuse had been shortened by near on half a decade of non-stop touring / recording / writing / promoting / adjusting to the pressure and demands of an ever-growing fanbase, while also dealing with a horrorshow of personal turmoil and health issues behind the scenes. In other words: she was done taking any shit, in any form, or humoring anyone's ridiculous feedback regarding anything.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:

Dearest Plague Rats, To be honest, I have no idea of what the hell happened with Aromaleigh, and I don't care to find out – the whole drama is a complete mystery to me, as I've been away for months touring and have not been in contact with anyone. All I know is that I've been promoting the company for ages and have not asked them for anything in years. (...) Please focus on more interesting things. I am. (“Save the Drama...” forum post, March 2010)

Posts questioning her good faith in the conflict were deleted from the forum. Shortly thereafter, citing how prolific and labor-intensive the Asylum forum had grown, EA shut down all non-EA related subforums – which, among many other topics, included a pretty active thread about Aromaleigh products.
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?

I feel like [WVC] is the only place I feel any of that old Asylum community kind of feeling I felt before EA got so focused on the book. It sucks that it’s so full of unhappiness, and I wish she hadn’t poisoned the sanctuary she claimed to have built. It’s just kind of fallen apart, like a crumbling building. (🐀 2016)

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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