Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being who’s soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now.

I’ve lived to see another Tuesday night
Might as well step outside
Evening chill by my side.
Might smile sadly shake my head at the homeless guy asking if I got a quid
Wish I did mate
I lied.
I’ve got a couple coins in my pocket that I’m saving for the table
So I can push some balls in pockets and prove that I’m able
To better a peer over a cheap game and some beers
Bitter sweet relief the chimes of cheers ring in my ears
Then it’s
Baccy?
Burn?
Blem?
I nod my head and step outside again
The English air as crisp as ever pinching at my skin.
Through the fumes of the smoking area I lock eyes with a sort with brown locks and eyes no lighter
She touches my arm and asks if I’ve got a lighter
I pass it her and watch the spark come and go in an instant.
Cheers.
No worries.
Brief is easier
I don’t need a loss or a win
Don’t need her seeing the scars of sin leaking out from my skin
Yeah brief is sweet
Sound
Probably
I’m not sure
Maybe part of me thinks brief is what deprives me of more
Fuck it.
I’ll still blissfully piss a whole score up the wall
I’ll piss away my youth n all cos after all what’s life for if not for pisstaking and pub crawls
Footy scores, sticky floors and broken toilet doors with handles I ain’t touching.
Several more pints get drained until the pub spits us out again
Stumbling masses spilling out on the streets
Free of shame
In the air I smell the leaves of the Holy Mary Jane
Hit with the lit propane swimming straight into a brother’s brain
I fancy some of that
Got some buds waiting at the gaff
Time to head back but before I do I turn my head back
I see the homeless man staring, wearing his beanie front to back
Then I think of Kendrick
I think about his words on that one track
Anger and shame fill the gaps between my mind’s cracks
And thoughts I thought I’d drowned begin to start coming back
I pause.
Why am I haunted?
Why can’t I shake the feeling that something is watching?
Is it the drink in me sitting bad making a kid feel solemn?
Or is it that a pound cost the same as a dollar.
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Looking to preferably trade (or sell) some OOP books I have for some OOP books I'm looking for. Here are the books I have to trade:

• Batman: the Golden Age Omnibus Vol 9 ($185)
• Wolverine Omnibus Vol 1 - First Printing ($145)
• Inferno Omnibus ($145)
• Secret Warriors Omnibus - Original Printing ($70)
• Secret Warriors Omnibus - New Printing ($52)
• Uncanny X-Men Omnibus Vol 5 ($52)
• Sins of Sinister ($40)
• 100 Bullets Omnibus Vol 2 ($40)
• X-Factor Epic Collection Vol 1: Genesis and Apocalypse ($20)

Note: Only selling 1 of the 2 Secret Warriors Omnibus
For pricing I took the average of the last few eBy sold listings (excluding shipping) and took 20-25% off that. Shipping from Canada is costly so please add ~$15-20 for shipping to USA. Feel free to make me an offer.
Refer to the linked pictures for the condition of any books or feel free to ask for additional clarifying pictures.
Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/WIy2p91
Books I am interested in:
Image OHCs

Kill or be Killed Deluxe
Fade Out Deluxe
Fatale Deluxe Edition Vol 1
Fatale Deluxe Edition Vol 2
Criminal Deluxe Edition Vol 3
The Complete Phonogram
Marvel OHCs
Daredevil Vol 1 (Kevin Smith) OHC
X Lives of Wolverine and X Deaths of Wolverine OHC
Marvel Omnibus
All-New Wolverine Omnibus
X-Men Legacy Legion Omnibus
X-Statix Omnibus
Fantastic Four By Waid & Wieringo Omnibus
Uncanny X-Force Omnibus
DC Omnibus
Sleeper Omnibus
Batman by Paul Dini Omnibus
DC OHCs
Superman - Kryptonite: The Deluxe Edition
Man and Superman: The Deluxe Edition
Batman: A Death in the Family - The Deluxe Edition

MAIORES. IV, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

This subject follows along from the general conclusion of infantilism, i.e. if we agree that infantilism exists in a culture that therefore all aspects of (such a culture) must be examined as to how they are impacted ‘by’ that infantilism, as: infantilism constitutes an undeveloped form of a thing; here (without covering absolutely every single aspect of it, as this could be a book in and of itself) we explore ‘sexual immaturity’ and its promulgation and consequences (of which we could easily make the case of the consequences as to be the cause of ‘all social ill’).
In an anthropological view; as if like we are looking at a chimpanzee colony, both procreation and familial-tribal child-raising takes place in our contemporary Western societies in a very clumsy sort of way; with the latter (i.e. the actual raising of children) not occurring at all, with the consequence of ‘arrested development’ – usually we would recognize and name it as that, if we ever thought very deeply about it:
However, the notion that all of this could be reduced to and fathomed as ‘sexual immaturity’ is an interesting (and unexplored) avenue to approach these matters from; certainly the act of actual procreation is deliberately accidental (I mean here in the contemporary West) in that a Woman does “not seek a mate” and then become pregnant, i.e. she does not even consider the sexual act to be procreative, rather: she accidentally becomes pregnant (“it was a miracle”), having beforehand and all throughout the duration and beyond it a culture which is far detached from the physical reality of things and thus a new human is created with no forethought for its care or provision and no security net in place to provide for it and ensure its prosperity and intelligent up-bringing, and increasingly there are fewer and fewer intelligent older persons around who are capable of providing the education and care for that child as would naturally exist in the large familial-tribal unit of an extended family where, historically, we all came from and of which is still the norm across much of the world (i.e. village elders who would otherwise raise the children up to be intelligent even if the Mother herself is too young to be a real parent - if we imagine as the species norm would be that most Women historically had their first child at around the age of fourteen or fifteen). Without, then, that familial-tribal unit to instruct and care for the child’s intellectual development and without either land to make a living from to provide for it's economic development then we find a cursed life, that is: a life far more difficult than it otherwise ought be had it been born in a more wisely chosen environment.
My point here is that ‘procreation’ is considered almost never at all by our society as being the most basic step in the creation and promulgation ‘of’ a tribal unit; with procreation itself being left down to blind chance and more often either legitimately accidentally or feigned accidently so as to attempt to cement a relationship (see: divorce and break-up rates in the West), either way this is the material circumstance into which children are born.
To say, then, that not grasping this reality ‘is’ itself a product of sexual immaturity; i.e. a Woman who does not understand what a new human is, seems to me to be far more of an accurate view of the thing than to declare it as ‘sexual immorality’ as it is usually insisted by the Abramic types, as: rather obviously it is ‘Sexual Immaturity’ rather than ‘Sexual Immorality’ that is the really cause of (the above scenario), that is: it is not Men and Women knowing too much about sex but of Men and Women knowing virtually nothing at all and therefore absent of a practice and familiarity necessary for Sexual Maturity, with Sexual Maturity itself being the very thing declared to be Immorality - an irreconcilable paradox.
It seems to me, then, that the habits we observe of ‘accidental pregnancy’ are the natural occurrence in such an unnatural society; that is: a consequence of misplaced moralism over the vital mechanical sexual functions of the human body (a thing which may well dominate and drive our unconsciousness entirely) have been rendered so alien to our expression and consideration but of which are so incessant and irrepressible; that sexual release is habitually denied, I mean here societally (i.e. “it is not polite”), and only finds ‘permission’ to appear in extreme drunkenness in fits of frenzy, and so on, so that when procreation actually occurs it is sporadic and neither at that moment nor before it was the adult rational mind involved – again, this is plainly a consequence of ‘sexual immaturity’ ‘before’ it could ever be said to be a consequence of ‘sexual immorality’.
It’s worth considering, of our own society in contemporary times, how far removed we are from most of the world which practices arrange marriages in one form or another (i.e. whether we are speaking of large tribal units or smaller family units) and what the consequence of this is on our own communities being absent of that; that is: the most fertile years of our lives are not spent having gotten procreation out of the way by having five or six children by the age of twenty or nineteen (so that when the child is fifteen you might be thirty, which seems to be the age where the sexual drive begins to dissipate or has anyway lost its novelty), and instead (i.e. without of being match-made far earlier in life) procreation instead occurs – if it does at all – accidentally and well-past the most fertile and healthy years, with such children being often quite sickly and the strain on the body being significantly more risky to the Mother (haphazardly enabled only then by massive external resources which would not have been required at all beforehand). I do not mean to seem as if I am advocating “having five or six children by the age of twenty or nineteen” only that in our natural environment this has always been the way of the thing due to natural sexual exploration when we are at that age.
At the same time, at the beginning and at the end of this “waste of time” (as I would say) of those most fertile years in which our sexuality is forbidden to us; that culture which we examine here as being simply Sexual Immaturity, it has been the case that that “Immaturity” persists well into later life by those afflicted adults who were forbidden to practise their natural sexuality when they were at the age where they wanted to, that is that the culture and mentality of such persons subjected to such restrictions quite demonstrably can be shown to have regressed them to the point that, as then as adults, they dress as children, speak and think as children, shun adult responsibility and seem altogether to have matured intellectually no further than the age of twelve or thirteen years, despite physiologically and neurologically having surpassed far beyond that early almost larval-like stage of our development where the body and mind are both only partially formed.
Instead it has been the “dragging-out” of that childlike insensibility, again: to no useful outcome, which has by that point in time essentially mitigated most of their procreative potentiality in that 1) physically having children is then far more difficult for them, and 2) they are now twenty-five years behind where their familial-tribal unit might otherwise have been, i.e. they do not have five or six twenty year old children bringing in incomes to the Household (to purchase a Household in the first place if they did not possess one before) or working the land (or likewise to purchase land) so that their prosperity will not have developed beyond mere subsistence off of the external labour market so as to escape the poverty and dependency traps inherent in the cities – which nominally constitutes their entire existence ‘to’ escape such miseries. All in all it is a lot of hard work by that point and I could not help but notice, of my own generation and those slightly older, how this outcome would have been entirely altered and set on a more prosperous trajectory if, say, at the age of sixteen a couple had been put together and had a few children, as: by the age of twenty the best seeds would have been sewn and they would not have to even think about “having children” ever again which is itself a thing, I observe anyway, that is so daunting and bothersome later in life that it really is something better gotten out of the way as early as possible in the manner that we would have done quite naturally otherwise.
If the idea here is to build up that familial-tribal unit then this methodology serves the purpose in the most optimal manner; the adults are freed up and enjoy their liberties, the younger adults (i.e. the teenagers) are preoccupied quite happily fulfilling their single greatest biological urges to have sex as much as they like, and the population figures begin to climb up at a rate of replacement which is far superior, e.g. a thirty year old parent of a fifteen year old only has five years before that fifteen year becomes a physically matured adult ready to contribute to the unit, whereas by contrast a thirty year old parent of a five year old has a great longer time to wait for physical maturity so that the distance between the two age groups becomes fragile and thin the further it is stretched with a concurrent loss of replacement manpower by a space of ten additional years.
There is something to be said for the older more experienced Father, of course, I remember quite well that the children I grew up with whose Fathers were in their forties and fifties and whose Mothers were in their twenties or very early thirties were quite better-off in their disposition and intelligence (whilst those with older Mothers tended to be sickly in one way or another); simply put though I think it is more to do with the experience of age as the influencing factor than anything else and a functional familial-tribal unit would have this influence in far greater capacity.
If we add to this factor the notion of polygamy (something shunned as ‘pagan’ by the Abramic religions yet advocated for in their own holy books, indeed: it was the universal norm) then we find the whole circle being completed in that young teenagers do as they please with each other, becoming familiar with relationship and their sexuality, and then when they reach a more mature age they might marry each other or other people properly so as to begin families of their own; but that by that age they may well have produced several children already via multiple partners so that the actual ‘legitimate children’ (in the sense of inheriting land and titles) of a more formal marriage is superfluous to population replacement insofar as the tribe is concerned, as: they have already increased the headcount quite massively by comparison. It is worth mentioning here the legal problems of land inheritance and the seeming inability for people to ever work this all out amongst themselves as being one of the most desirable points of the introduction of some of the Abramic religions, when they first appeared, as rules were laid out of who could inherit (some rules more effective than others, some quite ruinous in fact) which provided a framework in perpetuity (but on the other hand, with all children being considered legitimate in some instances, i.e. the children of concubines, this produced the problem of “all children” being in competition for the single title or, in turn, a vast spread of land, i.e. a Kingdom, being broken apart “to make it all fair”: this did not differ in form from, say, Imperial China to the late Ottoman court whilst the European Monarchies to their credit, somewhat, temporarily solved the matter by the allocation of specific titles to be given to the first born, second born, third born, etc., and then bouncing back to the Monarch upon the death of that Duke to be allocated again – although some would say this is a feeble manner by which to govern large polities it differs not very much from the essential ‘oversight’ duties over local governments as practiced in the Roman Principate rather than direct-governorship over those provinces themselves).
The tribal influence in real terms upon children cannot be understated in its superior effects upon the character and long-term capacity of the children themselves (when compared to others); I have some experience in my own up-bringing with this and really the outcome (again: compared to the infantilism, i.e. arrested development, you will almost always find in the nuclear family type, which we might easily compare to factory farmed within four walls and a hen-pecking parental authority vs. free range) is a quite more matured and capable disposition (call it “street smarts” if you like; they follow what actually works rather than what is ‘pretended to them’ to work, which is typically nothing more than the parents own whimsical desires of the moment) amongst all the children when they are simply freed up from the poor influence of an unfit parent even without the good influence of a more fit parent of which, then, the fit parent itself could be determined to be largely superfluous, as: of their own accord they learn amongst themselves and become naturally fortified against being instructed into error by a witless or ill-inclined adult, whereas a child stuck under the thumb of a witless ‘parent’ has no means to disobey that witless parent without facing severe punishments and so there the child is sculpted into a helpless fool, later embittered in life and at the tender mercy of their peers, as: even as they might innately know-better (than to do the foolish thing their parent demands they do) they are forced nevertheless, either physically punished or emotionally coerced, into adopting the ‘silly walk’ and ‘dress’ of the witless parent, which is to say: they are forced into conforming toward the cultural idealism determined by the parent with no thought whatsoever for the practicalities of life, e.g. the matter of “how will my child earn a living” is addressed neither by parenting nor by schools thus begrudgingly selling themselves auction block of the labour market turns out to be the only method, whether they were deluded into thinking that their aspirations to be a professional athlete or an astronaut were entertained and encouraged for them at the expense of informing them about any other means of paying the rent or not.
I should say here that when I say “familial-tribal unit” I am broadly referring to any number of groupings, in whatsoever local forms they may take shape, but that the decisive factor, most chiefly, will be a large extended family network of which, if it ever needed to pool its resource together, would constitute a decent size force in land, resource production and manpower – but chiefly it is the possession of land which enables everything else:
More ideally, to my mind, it would resemble (or be very close in composition to) that Roman ‘Familia’ (the origin of the word ‘Family’ in our English) where a fairly large blood family of at least five generations inhabited in and around the same House or group of Houses (see: Palace, Villa and Manor Economy), with servants and adoptees and associates (business partners) likewise being considered as extended kin; altogether forming, as it were, a little nationality. In the sense of ‘Nationality’ it is, it ought be said, more a return to how we actually were prior to the ‘naming conventions’ of the 1700’s or so where the stupid surnames made up on the spot of many Europeans were forced into Law over what would have originally been clan and tribal identities and from which there came that fake sense of disparate ‘Nationality’ (i.e. cut off from tribe and forced into atomization; identity through a very small family unit alone) from which the misnomer of ‘Race’ would be made-up to lend credibility to. In many ways a great deal of the urbane ‘neurosis’, let’s call it, stems really from this absence of ‘true tribe’ with it having been eradicated either by the fecklessness of urban societies; societies of strangers and thieves, and also more directly via those religions which pretend to fill the void of ‘true tribe’ with their witless rituals and effete pretences – things which are a wet-blanket over true fellowship wrought in such a manner as comes in all reality perfectly naturally the moment the screws holding foolishness in place are undone and cast away – and really here, when we stack these observations together one upon the other, we are really speaking of a sound and strong society certainly immune to the shallow perversity created by denialism toward the basic mechanics of the human body – in addition to any other considerations which follow from that.

THE OVERALL INFLUENCE (OR LACK THEREOF) OF A TRIBAL-FAMILIAL UNIT

It must be considered quite seriously by the reader as to the overall influence, or lack thereof, of a tribal-familial unit as to what fills its place in the education of people otherwise and, as I began this text by considering for myself, how much of the ‘dysfunctionality’ can be attributed to the “lack thereof”.
Along with the cultural instance on sexual immaturity as to produce the consequence of delaying and drawing out for decades a fetish of normal sexuality which ought naturally be done with by a person after reaching the age, say, of maybe seventeen, there is the greater point which I am trying to relay here in this text of how many other aspects of ‘bad culture’ are singularly anchored to and thusly totally dependent upon that sexual immaturity – that is: we would be hard-pressed to imagine how really many of the pernicious scenarios in our contemporary society would even arise if that foundation stone of ‘sexual immaturity’ were removed from the equation:
For instance, how much of a ‘relationship’ is spent and sculpted (either by the Man or the Woman or both) on jealously and worry of the other ending the relationship for having found another person or another means to fulfil their sexual gratification? If a ‘relationship’ is based upon, let’s call this, “mutual masturbation” then at the heart of that is sexual immaturity of the mental age of maybe fourteen years whereupon a person has been sort of coaxed into dependency for orgasm on a third party; they are fraught and fearful that this should be taken away from them – it being so vital as like a mechanical necessity for either sex – that the entire content of their ‘relationship’ revolves around it; seeking it, coaxing it, demanding it, guarding it from be lost, and so on, of which I think it is not exaggeration to say that such concerns constitute 100% of the verbal interaction in such a ‘couple’; either outright or in the back of the mind so as to reinterpret all scenarios and verbal expressions as being related to that end-goal of maintaining the “mutual masturbation”.
Simply put this ‘relationship’, then, revolves around twenty minutes of sexual activity in a day – if that much (or even if every day), yet dominates the entirety of the mind; that is: the entirety of the ‘relationship’, when this action itself is something that a servant or a slave or a prostitute would be used for in many societies, with the ‘content’ of the marriage, say, being concerned more with running the business of a Household or concerned with procreation to produce legitimate children to inherit the business, the title, the land, whatever. My point here is that neither Man nor Woman are elevated or their dignity improved, somehow, by this absence of sexual maturity but rather that both are reduced; i.e. greatly lowered, to the cognitive and social standing of the “servant, slave, prostitute,” in that as far as they think of and conceptualize themselves as part of a Household at all it is singularly the concern with simple sexual acts which dominate their interpersonal interactions and their ideas about their own self; it is their ‘social currency’.
If this seems alien – I mean my observation on this – consider how much neurosis goes on in the daily grooming rituals of Women or those sad excuses for Men who “lift weights but cannot fight” (not to mention the ease at which a thin muscular physique bleeds out at the slightest of puncture wounds, see: Roman Gladiator training), i.e. whose only concern is that of admiring their own bodies in a mirror, this being intellectually identical to young Women. Is this not the mentally of a slave? If so, even if we shy away from saying it plainly, then we must ask “what forms the mentality of a slave (i.e. where does it come from)” – in the above equation a slave in a Household is more like an object fulfilling a function than He or She is a person with any autonomy (well, obviously there is no autonomy for a slave) so it is almost to be expected that in such an environment that the intellectual trajectory of an object-person goes away from externalities and becomes entirely absorbed with self-presentation and equates their social status from that, and if groups of such persons will set this to be the common culture; deriving status in that manner among themselves – although still these are slaves possessing no ‘status’ to speak of, as being object-people. This is evidenced also in victims of sexual abuse or those, in general, suffering at the hands of third parties whose autonomy is in some way or another restricted; that their singular focus becomes that of sexuality as like depression is “rage turned inward”, thus too it seems for sexual infantilism.
I cannot pass up this subject without mentioning a series of interviews describing, a thing quite novel to me, the notion of American Christian ‘Purity Culture’ from the point of view of those heavily indoctrinated into that; instilled with Catholic levels of guilt over the normal function of the body, who have then left their small churches or megachurches, or whatever, and spoken plainly about the mentality of those inside of it as relating to sexuality. It is a thing I think long suspected but seldom expressed that, as it was described, the mentality of such persons is that they are “horny all the time” due to the relentless guilt inculcated into them; that due to denialism of sexuality their ordinary sexual impulses are magnified to an incredible degree and that, consequentially, their entire being is animated by repressed sexuality so that their thoughts are ‘impure’ all the time whilst verbally they express strong denialism and shame over the thing. I think this is no real difference to any such religious malinstruction; be it Muslim, Jewish or Christian, in that the perpetual infantilism of their surrounding society stems first of all from their own bedrock religious culture (i.e. whatever religion which is at odds with the human body, etc.) were due to such ‘culture’ they never really get over, say, an early adolescent view of sexuality where they are driven entirely by it and never learn to overcome it, no pun intended, but utterly unrealized – which would take them leaving their religion – is that this process demonstrably brings out the absolute worst in their character and disposition with the process itself being the promulgation ‘of’ those very “Viceful thoughts ” that they claim to be “at War with in the world”, in other words: it is just they themselves who, for example, look at a young teenage girl (or god help us, a small boy) and thinks all manner of sexual rapacity – and that this animates them politically to campaign for restrictive legislation to be put into Law to police “all society” as if “all society” existed at their low level is an incredible thing to consider. But I do not think their broader societies are any exception to this, rather point here is that their broader societies are comprised of persons exactly like them; that the Christian or the Jew driven by a lifetimes shaming over their normal sexuality adopt, in turn, the most depraved expressions ‘of’ sexuality as a self-affirmation; that is: the extreme self-identification with a simple sexual action, for example, came to literally define a persons personality in such places to the point that (Americans anyway) seriously put out the notion during the late 1990’s and 2000’s that a fleeting sexual act 1) defines a persons entire character, and 2) it is also inborn, e.g. as like to say that whether you prefer this or that on the menu at a restaurant is something determined genetically; this is utterly stupid and utterly, in my opinion, a consequence of society which has not wanted to evolve beyond the ‘sexual immaturity’ of which physiologically seems to occupy a very small window of the middle to late teens and of which repression during those ages quite demonstrably creates madness and retardation – I mean that if their culture did not peripherally do this to them then the manner by which swathes of their cultural-historical institutions do this to them ‘outright’ by inculcation into this process in particular certainly does it to them, and merely it is the unwillingness to fully condemn these Religions and relegate these influences to the dustbin which keeps the entire thing ticking along with “just enough” of the population bent out of shape by it to present those same persons, seemingly confused as to where they came from, lumbering through the broader society and serving as examples of lunacy and degeneracy.
In short - and I may as well add this here also, the aim to abstain for a while from sexuality was a custom introduced by the Ancient Romans and was designed to heighten sexual pleasure; in effect, then, foreign barbarians coming to this culture much later on with nobody to really explain it to them ended up unwittingly engaging in what they would probably have recognized as ‘sex magic’ whereupon the denial of their own mechanical sexual function was ‘abstained’ by them; i.e. they saw the value in holding off on doing drugs or having sex for a while, – but they did not understand what the effect or the outcome of that was ‘intended’ to be in that one would abstain specifically ‘to’ heighten the senses toward that pleasure; and this is evidenced chiefly in the Lunar Orgies and the Fast/s of Ceres. Interestingly, Jesus himself in (i think the Gospel of Thomas?) mentions to his followers that “they will hate him for what he says now,” and that he says that “fasting brings out all the worst in them” – in other words, engaging in periodic abstinence will turn them all horny. Knowing this from a relatively early age it was no surprise to me at all why celibate priests ended up diddling children or member of their own congregation or why the most outwardly pious zealots proved to be the most morally weak people to be found as even with the most ‘clean’ example, let’s say, of a person who has never drank wine, for example, they have not ‘overcome’ that thing but have rather avoided ever experiencing that thing so that it will always be a novel temptation to them of which they will have no understanding of and which they can be leveraged by in various ways primarily due to their ignorance of which ‘experience itself’ would otherwise render them far more fortified against:
A good example here is the ‘pot scare’ of the early 1930’s in America when it was seriously believed by a wholly ignorant chunk of the urbane voting public that smoking cannabis (and drinking alcohol, for that matter) would turn a person into a serial killer, this is totally bizarre to us now, but notice that this was the same society whose moral standard was that “a table leg” should not be uncovered because it reminded them of a Womans bare leg – although here we might better understand why they were so preoccupied by thoughts like that (I think very seriously in their heightened state of perpetual arousal any little thing would send them to buggery of a farmyard creature)! Hilarious. But – notice also that this was the same society which was engaging in some of the most casually egregious inhumane criminality that history had ever seen, as if they ‘were’ high on narcotics and their rational senses dulled; I do not mean here to bring American notions of ‘Race’ into this as to be seen to ‘condemn Black Slavery’ in the fashion of my own day (although we mentioned family-tribe as a better form of so-called nationality earlier) but the ghastly images of actual Country Fairs where smiling families with children by their knees would pose for crude photographs with the charcoaled or bloated rotting carcass of a burned or lynched Man is beyond my ability to play-down or normalize. I mean here to say, that: far from the pretense of ‘clean mindedness’ of such persons about themselves that we find these same persons are the filthiest and most depraved characters around, being those few persons who walk amongst us who are actually capable of doing those inhumane things (again, see: Banality of Evil) as would be unthinkable to a person of normal rational healthy conscience. We might connect this, also, to the historical BDSM extravaganzas which took place in the Christian monasteries and public squares for many centuries where young Women were sexually tortured by celibate clergymen as to recognize how deep and quick a plunge it is from a person or their culture going from the denial of normal healthy sexuality into the kettled and sadistic gore fetish of outright murder.
It is always worth reminding the reader who wishes to minimize these more egregious aspects of the subject (as rape is still rampant among the clergy); which are consequential of sexual immaturity, that it was not ‘reason and rationality’ per se that stamped this out from European society but soldiers kicking in the doors of such Churches, Town Halls and Houses with muskets, rifles, long knives and grape-shot and physically eradicating the perpetrators and their willing congregations from America and France for the practice itself of sexually torturing a Woman and then burning the evidence on the fake pretexts of obviously made-up accusations of “she turned me into a frog” to actually be ended. That is to say that the ‘mentality’ and ‘culture’ which provided the framework for such inhumane activities was never formally realized or educated-out of a people, so to find it lingers along into contemporary times; animating the otherwise dormant farmyard animal-like character of such persons “like powers of evil”, is not surprising to me in the least. What was more surprising to me is that as so much of these religions are so obviously outright ‘evil’ that more persons do not speak of the intricacies of the things in such necessary detail these more ‘egregious’ cases would qualify, and then to spool back to discover the cause of every evil action in the mentality of every perpetrator – generally speaking, for instance, it will be a character with a disposition of infantilism and perhaps this is more easy to understand without needing to connect it to sexual immaturity though, to my mind, these are not distinct enough to warrant any separation; as: infantilism is always going to be immaturity and immaturity is always going to run concurrent with a lack of adult intellectual development where a mature and experienced view of a thing, sexuality in this case, has likely been within the powers of a person to have gleaned naturally through experiences – in which case there would be no argument with anything I say here, or of which such experiences have been prevented by external powers from being gleaned by the person in question; in which case they remain ‘as if’ they were fourteen years old with the allure of mysterious unknown sex acts utterly dominating their consciousness at all times and yet physically being thirty, forty, fifty years old – well past the age (certainly physiologically) where they should have gotten it all out of their system but of which they have not, chiefly because their experiences have been rather dull and monotone and so much social currency has been valued by it ‘being’ dull and monotone, e.g. monogamy, legal repercussions binding two people in place, the atomized kettling nature of the disconnected nuclear family unit, living amongst strangers in large cities where it not so simple as just going topless to change the local culture, control through the selective denial of the sex act itself (as William Reich and Esther Vilar both write on), the sexualisation of young people by adults, the accidental ‘perversity’ (in the real meaning of the word) of unfulfilled (or poorly fulfilled, or repressed altogether) sexuality and its effects on the brain and society, and so on and so on.
I am always inclined to think when considering this subject, and I may as well end this text in conclusion with this recurrent thought of mine, that ‘sexual perversion’ really begins in the mind of ourselves as young teenagers when the normal human body is leeringly presented to us as being something ‘illicit’, e.g. the breasts of Women are concealed in our society and so due to ‘hiding them away’ they become objects of mystery and fetish which they otherwise are not. I do not think this is deliberate reverse psychology (as god help us few enough people even understand the concept to understand what they do inadvertently) but it produces the same consequence of reverse psychology, whereupon quite arbitrarily a certain piece of the body, say, an ankle, is all of a sudden declared by a mad Adult to be “evil, sinful, lustful, of the devil,” when no such notion existed in the minds of people otherwise, as then: their natural curiosity is piqued by this imposition and so they develop a perversion dervied in chief part – as a sense of lewd pleasure – from bucking the arbitrary nonsensical imposition forced upon them by that dictate of which such a scenario never would have had cause to occur if not for that imposition having created it. I feel that this ‘perversion’ (again, in the real meaning of that word) stands in the way of a fully realized and fully pursued sense of actual sexuality and, from it, of a more resonant concordance between Men and Women whose interactions are otherwise thrown off balance by such impositions as they are dragged back down to sexual immaturity all the time; or into fear and jealously etc., as like a dozen avenues are presented in any conversation and virtually of them are strewn with piss, vomit and polyfoam which had no reason to be put there in the first place, or more accurately: it was put there through the carelessness of an atomized and witless peoples who knew no better than to do this to themselves but of which a familial-tribal unit would have drummed out of them quick sharp if for the actuality of nothing else than “we are all in this together” being something that is tangibly true and not merely shallow political rhetoric when it is said of a tribe vs. when it is said of a state polity comprised of countless strangers.

MAIORES. IV, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

I will speak the truth. You will not hear it.One will.
My friends, I come to you with urgent news.
I will tell you now. If you feel like you were called for a higher purpose. You were. You are. And you will need to be.
Just because you were chosen, does not mean you are picked. The free will comes from you alone to answer the call.
It's a Black & White, it always has been. The only way, is that of Jesus Christ. Good and evil.
What you are all feeling is that of the Holy Spirit. Nurture it for God has bestowed a gift upon you because of your heart.
When you are contacted by "Aliens" they are Spirits that are not of Jesus Christ. They will deceive you. Rebuke them in Jesus Christ's name.
On 6/6/24 the elites and occult performed a mass ritual. Have you noticed the air is heavier? It is the spirits romaing stiring everyone up. The world will never be the same again.
Demonic forces are walking with us even more than before. Now they have a veil that is so strong we can not see through them.
Ask the lord Jesus Christ to "discern this Spirit in Jesus Christs name" before interacting with such. Do not handshake them. Do not allow them to manipulate you. Your "gut feeling" is the right one.
They love to hide as elderly. But do not strike hate against the elderly for we do not know who is who. Only the holy spirit.
The last part is truly terrifying. There will be a day that is covered in 3 nights. You will know this by the day turning black when it should be light. A unnatural darkness. If you are caught outside during this time. You will be "gone". Go to your homes, pray, read your bibles.
Repent, and pray. Psalms 91 for the belivers, the quicker you run. The faster you will go nowhere. Repent. And believe that christ has died for your sins.
If this happens, you know it all to be ture. I plead that this isn't true. I hope I am some crazed lunatic who is spewing fear mongering. But only until the day of the darkness. You will truly understand, conformation of myself, and conformation of things to past.
I do not want anyone any harm. I want you all a safe journey. I demand it. But it is not my will.
All glory to that of Jesus Christ. I speak the truth, for no one else will. Rise up.

Hi there! For the jump relevant to this post, click here. It IS a Troyverse Ascension so this is a very powerful type of creature and by coming to this jump you become one. This is an experiment with a new type of discussion post where I talk about big beasties from various settings you can become, and the fun you can have as whatever type of creature you can become.
Have a fun future announcement: I have plans for a jump to a generic world that is secretly in the process of becoming conquered by a Sanguinarch. In my head this jump would include origins for civilians, the resistance, collaborators, and a full origin for a Sanguinarch-spawned vampire. This is a WHOLLY original idea and is very far down the docket of jumps I want to create, but it is one I want to make before the end of the year. So if you like this post, you may like whatever I end up creating at some point in the future whenever I get around to making the jump I just mentioned.

Sanguinarch Basics

Sanguinarchs are one of the five types of Troyverse ascendants alongside Archdemons, Cosmic Gods, Dragon Lords, & Transynths. Three of the four types of beings I mentioned have jumps, all of which have been created by me and are reflections of the original source CYOAs that have been jump-ified and given some QOL things that are relevant to jumpers specifically. Ascendants are beings that tap into the fundamental rules of reality in some way. Archdemons use sins, Cosmic Gods use D&D/Pathfinder style domains, Dragon Lords use draconic fonts of power, and Transynths use technology and science. Sanguinarchs use... Well, Sanguinarchs use Essence.
So at their core Sanguinarchs are supreme undead & necromancers. They are vampires that can feed on entire planets, solar systems, galaxies, and even universes at the very height of somewhat possible attainable power for their kind, becoming cosmopotences (an in-universe term for beings capable of affecting entire universes). Sanguinarchs are also notoriously flexible tricksters with a very nasty grab bag of possible tricks.
The first level of a Sanguinarch's bag of tricks are their foci; a theme around which a sanguinarch focuses themselves granting themselves a particular set of abilities and skills. There are three foci, but any Sanguinarch can take more than one foci, though such sanguinarchs are the rarest members of their kind. The three foci are cultured, dominating, and savage.
The cultured focus is for sanguinarchs who value intelligence, reasoning, non-violence, and diplomacy. It grants any sanguinarch who takes it enhanced charisma, intelligence, persuasiveness, and the ability to conduct rituals which can enact any kind of magic other than magic that transforms bodies or morphs minds on massive scales in hours, scales which would normally take even entire planets of archmages years of constant collaboration to pull off. Sanguinarchs with this focus have enhanced magic when it comes to the body and mind but only magic enhanced to the scale that a normal archmage could realistically have, which is not nothing but it pales in comparison to the rest of their magical kit.
Dominating focused sanguinarchs value control over all things and have the ability to enslave people within a few miles of them, but if they have the right major sanguine power then they can dominate everyone in a galaxy around them. These servitors are 100% loyal to you and would do anything you command. They also passively generate essence for you, giving you oath based essence (unless you've shunned the oath source) which is the only way that mind controlling someone can generate oath based essence, as normally such a font stems from oaths that are willingly sworn rather than ones that stem from supernatural influence.
The final focus is the savage focus. This is a purely physical focus and it is tremendously powerful, boosting your speed to galactic scale and giving you unbelievable power and endurance.
The foci can also be mixed and matched, in the sense that buying one does not lock you out of the other two.
Going to the next facet of the sanguinarch's toolkit, let's talk about essence. Essence is a substance that sanguinarchs can absorb and make use of, which is generated by all sorts of connections (this term is being used in a conceptual, esoteric sense here); interactions which result in blood being drawn, the devouring of one's soul, consensual sex between adults, oaths that are willingly sworn ("willingly" here does include oaths sworn under duress but not under the influence of supernatural powers), and a sanguinarch's own dominion (Remember this word, we'll circle back to it). Essence is a substance that is generated by ALL instances of the things I mentioned, blood, souls, pleasure, and oaths, but only a sanguinarch can absorb and use the substance. Sanguinarchs naturally absorb any essence created by their own actions, and can maximize the five sources that generate essence up above, which allows them to passively absorb the essence generated by their personalized types of vampiric spawn (another thing we'll get too later in this post) in the cases of blood, souls, and pleasure (provided the type of vampire in question feeds on it), and then if oaths are sworn to your vampires, and in the case of maximizing the dominion source of essence you make it easier to add places to your dominion rather than increasing how much essence the dominion feeds you.
Essence can be spent in one of three ways; it can empower an active ability (such as a spell you're about to cast), it can buff a passive trait (such as boosting your durability), and finally it can emulate a one-off instance of any kind of effect you want. This last ability takes some explaining, but a sanguinarch can spend their essence (which is a resource that once spent is gone, though it is incredibly easy to gain more) to emulate any kind of power on virtually any scale, with more impressive powers on larger scales costing fortunes in essence. A sanguinarch with this ability can do virtually anything provided they are ready to spend the right amount of essence. This ability makes sanguinarchs extremely unpredictable and dangerous. Essence MUST be spent to use this ability, even if emulating an ability you've already emulated in the past.
Now let's talk about the more direct powers & the potent servants of sanguinarchs; vampires.

Sanguinarch's Active Abilities & Vampiric Spawn

There are two types of active powers that are uniquely part of a sanguinarch's power set; major sanguine powers, and also Dominion perks.
Major Sanguine powers are powers that require no essence and are extremely simple for the vampire-like monsters to use. There are about 17 of these abilities and each of them is worth understanding. More details on each of these abilities can be found in the jump or in the source document.
Empowerment boosts your effectiveness with essence. Shadowblank makes you stunningly difficult to detect and if you are willing to spend the essence can be used on your dominion, but when used on your dominion it is somewhat more detectable than you since if someone enters the dominion they can see it. Darkness allows you and your forces to get stronger in darkness and in places attuned to darkness. Eclipse lets you shroud a place in darkness. Phylacktery is your respawn mechanic. Monstrous Command lets you command animals and monsters of all kinds. Mindlink is stunningly powerful telepathic communication. Hypnosis is a brutally powerful form of mind control dependent on making eye contact with someone but if you hit them with it you can give almost any sort of command that you can imagine so long as it's not permanent and you can stack commands on somebody. Puppetmaster lets you seize control of all sorts of moving things and people, moving them in ways that are pleasing to you, almost like straight up telekinesis. Spectral Form gives you conditional intangibility (intangible to things like enemy strikes but tangible when you want to punch someone or otherwise interact with something), and Regeneration lets you recover from virtually sort of damage instantly, unless said damage is inflicted by a being wildly stronger than you.
Trueshifting is pretty incredible shapeshifting, power emulation, and cloning. Mirrorwalk is, for all intents and purposes, instant teleportation from any one mirror to any other mirror, at least in the local multiverse. Mass Telekinesis is ridiculously powerful telekinetic abilities able to hold even quintillions of different things in space at once, even if each individual thing has the same mass of mountains. Enthrall lets you turn people into thralls, immortal, devoted supernatural servants. all of whom are enhanced sources of essence in every way, their blood, souls, and pleasure giving you more essence, as well as their oaths generating more essence over time. Absorption lets you absorb skills, knowledge, and abilities from those you get essence from, be it you targeting a teacher, or your spawn targeting a local king, and by opting to gain a bit less essence then you'd otherwise gain you can instead just copy this stuff rather than taking it from the people you target with this power. Dark brides are special types of servants you can create that are wholly bonded to you, either creating someone from nothing or turning a living person into a dark bride so long as they consent to it. Dark brides can do whatever you can as a sanguinarch but each dark bride costs more than the last with the first being free.
Let's talk about dominions. A sanguinarch's dominion is not just territory that is under their control, but a patch of space that has been so thoroughly conquered by them that the land itself recognizes their control and lordship. This happens when a significant amount of essence has been gathered and absorbed by a single sanguinarch in one continuous area (how much essence is required depends in part on the size of the space in question), which eventually renders the space vulnerable to powerful dark rituals which the sanguinarch and their homies can perform over the course of several days. When these rituals are completed the patch of space becomes a part of their dominion, and a sanguinarch's dominion feeds them essence every second, with bigger dominion's feeding them more essence. A dominion is permanently under the influence of a sanguinarch who claims it, and in the Troyverse there are plenty of places that can be under the thumb of other sanguinarch since other sanguinarchs exist but once you jump OUT of the Troyverse... Well, there's a LOT of space in all but the smallest-setting-wise jumps for you to turn into your turf. There are a total of nine perks that specifically affect a sanguinarch's dominion, bolstering it in various ways. Let's talk about them!
Sentinals are a type of guardian that, if the perk is purchased, are generated by the dominion itself (and created by it whenever you add space to your dominion, or with the right perk, whenever it sufficiently expands) and have ultra-human (planet-level) physiques as well as some vampire-like abilities. These guardians protect your dominion but cannot leave it, and if they are somehow destroyed (and it'd take a being on par with or beyond Superman to do this so it IS possible but in a lot of settings it's not especially likely) your dominion will resurrect them over the course of a few days unless you spend some essence to rebuild them. They are also completely immune to mind control or being puppeted, and are aware of everything in your dominion.
Many dominion perks are handy because they make your dominion more suitable to your minions and you in some way and pliant climate is one such perk. PC begins with a one time effect that makes a new patch of dominion more hospitable to your minions, altering reality to do something like destroying radiation that might destroy sufficiently weak lifeforms or creating landmasses for your servants to walk on, and after that effect has occurred you can personally warp reality to alter the climate in your dominion even weaponizing weather against invaders or other enemies.
Labyrinth is a perk that enhances your dominion's natural and default resistance to enemy reality warping (to such an extent that universe-scale reality warpers would struggle to use reality warping in your space), and also causes the local geography to warp and twist in reality-defying ways that make it virtually impossible for non-ascendants to escape without your permission.
Shroud is a perk that nullifies any default weaknesses you or your spawn may have to traditional anti-vampire stuff (sanguinarchs do not have such weaknesses by default though a drawback can give you some) such as sunlight, garlic, silver, or fire, so long as you or your spawn are in your dominion. If you opted to allow your spawn to be weak to stuff, particularly sunlight, this can be an incredibly handy perk to have and can give even the most disloyal vampires powerful reasons to aid you in expanding your dominion.
Obedient architecture lets you turn raw materials into grand structures instantly, so long as the required reality warping occurs in your dominion.
Gluttonous enhances how much essence you get when you are in your dominion, but this particular perk is a bit odd. The way this perk works is by enhancing ALL feeding you do on essence so long as you are in the confines of your dominion. Very importantly this enhances the potency of the dominion's passive essence production, but also bolsters every other source of essence, and can be very powerful if you strive to maximize essence production. This can also blend very powerfully with another ability we'll mention in a second.
Shadow Paths is a perk that ties together all patches of dominion in a jump (for jumper-sanguinarchs, this limitation doesn't exist for pure CYOA sanguinarchs). What this means is that your servants and those you give permission too can step into one patch of dominion and immediately enter another patch located elsewhere, even if doing so entails them stepping somewhere in North Carolina and suddenly appearing in Alaska, or on the moon. This is one of the best forms of teleportation in the Troyverse that is able to be used by ascendants, but requires the powerful setup needed to turn a place into a patch of dominion in the first place, as opposed to requiring the advanced technology other ascendants can use to swiftly and stealthy teleport en-masse. One handy aspect of this power is that it is only accessible to those you permit and only if they are loyal to you; if a vampire you converted into a vampire is somehow under enemy control they cannot use these paths at all. This is a neat defensive measure that prevents this ability from being used against you. The paths automatically appear whenever you add a patch to your dominion, connecting any and all such spaces.
Power Suppression is a very handy ability that shuts down enemy/non-allied powers so long as they are in your dominion, which if fused with something like labyrinth can be incredibly devastating. How strong this perk is depends on how much you invest in it, but frankly even the first tier makes entire settings (even ones with powered beings) unable to use their powers against your will, as a LOT of settings do not have any beings that are planet-scale.
Eminent Domain is a stunningly powerful perk that enhances your dominion in every respect. Firstly it makes it so that any abilities you use remotely do not suffer any diminishment (all ascendants are capable of using their ascendant abilities at incredible ranges so long as the area they are using their powers in are sufficiently under their influence in some way, but normally such abilities suffer some level of weakened effectiveness due to distance). This also radically bolsters your awareness of what occurs in your dominion, granting you pseudo-omniscience within the strict confines of your dominion. Lastly, and most importantly, this stunningly powerful perk allows your patches of dominion to expand themselves!
Normally a patch of dominion is static in the sense that it does not expand sans external intervention (Basically a patch of dominion's size and dimensions are determined at the moment a place is converted and normally stays that way forever). With ED this is changed and instead patches of dominion slowly expand with how quickly they expand being determined by whether or not you maximized the dominion essence source (and a requirement that feedings occur in the patch of dominion in question). Think of it this way; it's easier for a sanguinarch who has patches of dominions in banks where vampire bankers get people to swear oaths via bank loans to watch their patches expand than a sanguinarch whose patches are in barren deserts to watch their patches expand. That's not to say it can't be done, the desert-owning sanguinarch can turn serial killers into vampires, have them take their victims to the dominion patches and feed on them in there, but that IS more complex than the setup for the banking sanguinarch I also mentioned.
Fully understanding and maximizing the power of the dominion is difficult but it's worth it. A sanguinarch with a few perks is an impressively powerful lord of any space they turn into their dominions, and a sanguinarch with ED can slowly and cautiously watch their dominion expand without having to do the rituals. It's dope.
Now let's talk about vampric spawn! I'm not gonna go over every facet of this, as there's a lot of individual options that'd need to be discussed. but vampiric spawn are a SPECIFIC type of vampire created by a sanguinarch. A sanguinarch can turn anyone in the same planet into a vampire spawn, and even gods are not immune to this transformation, neither are animals, demons, or any supernatural beings unless they are on par with an ascendant themselves. It's also stunningly difficult to resist this transformation, so someone can do something like catch Superman off guard and turn him into one of your spawn.
There are a number of reasons why sanguinarchs want vampiric spawn, but for a lot of sanguinarchs vampiric spawn will be best viewed as a way to speed up one's ability to gather essence. When deciding your builds you have three options when it comes to all five sources of essence; you can "shun" them, you can leave them unaltered, or you can maximize them. "Shunning" a source means you never get essence from it (but this does not make them useless, as dominions can get still benefit from dominion perks AND turning an area into a dominion can stop other sanguinarchs from doing so, though this would only be useful in Troyverse jumps), leaving it alone means you can get essence from instances of the source caused by you and you alone, and maximizing the source means that any actions that are relevant to the source that your spawn cause (that in the case of blood, pleasure, and souls they can FEED on) generates essence for you (which is relevant both for the purposes of the absorption sanguine major power and for the purposes of eventually creating new patches of dominion). This means that vampiric spawn are more than handy servants, they can be vital expanders of your empire.
A sanguinarch can customize vampiric spawn they create in a number of ways by purchasing options in the vampiric spawn customization section of the jump doc. If a sanguinarch went bonkers on this section their maxed out vampires would be fucking stacked with modifiers like enhanced beauty, an ability to grow stronger from feeding (and it being a carving rather than a necessity), fanatical loyalty to you, the ability to mesmerize people, fly, turn into mist, and shapeshift, as well as physiques that are 100 times the peak for their species. These vampires would be tremendously powerful servants, and could make for incredible followers.

Sanguinarch Thoughts & Musings

Now that we've spent a beat discussing the facets of sanguinarch stuff that will persist across jumps, let's talk a bit about thoughts & musings related to sanguinarchs!
Sanguinarchs are hands down the best territory-type ascendants. Their ability to conquer a place so thoroughly that they turn it into their dominion is fucking wild given what dominion perks can do to a place, and a properly stealthy sanguinarch can do it before people even realize that something fucky is going on. Even in modern police states sanguinarchs with the right builds can be masters of subtlety and stealth, or can just blitz a place so fast that no one has a chance to resist (this is especially true for dominating sanguinarchs).
I really like the versatility and flexibility of sanguinarchs, as the emulate function of essence and stuff like shadowblank and mindlink are so fantastically potent that they are just nightmarishly powerful in the right hands.
A sanguinarch that opts to not be watered down and instead has the full functionality of a CYOA sanguinarch rather than my suggested edits to make the power of a sanguinarch more approachable can enter a setting and turn everyone in their home world into a vampire in an instant, or can dominate entire communities in a second, In some respects this is just beyond what other ascendants can do (though all ascendants can buy greater megapowers which can allow other ascendants to emulate a sanguinarch with the right focus). Manifold ascendants that are sanguinarchs AND other things can instantly create cults to themselves and, assuming they are an archdemon, dragon lord, or cosmic god, immediately begin to gain power from the worship power source.
As a stealth-type jumper person I really really like the potency of a sanguinarch's many abilities that either revolve around stealth or allow for it, with powers like eclipse and shadowblank being perennial favorites of mine. I also love that there are powers that revolve around knowing more than others and hiding in the dark, giving boosts to your other powers if you are just smarter than your foes or if you are a sneaky sneak. One fascinating aspect of the darkness power is how it can synergize with absorption, since you can drain knowledge from foes with strikes, which makes your other abilities stronger against them.
Here are some fun ideas for interesting targets to turn into vampiric spawn or otherwise use in a story with a jumper sanguinarch.
A serial killer who will now eagerly dedicate their kills to you, and who is happy to target anyone you wish to see killed.
A cop who needs to find the people who kidnapped her brother. Now armed with vampiric powers she will investigate her brother's kidnapping with brutal efficiency.
A priest having a crisis of faith whose mind is exceptionally loud one night when you are scanning nearby minds. Now he worships you rather than whatever god he once believed in.
A high school queen bee who is afraid of the future or growing old and is eagerly willing to cavort with dark forces once she realizes they are real and willing to help her, for a price. This one can be really fun if you turn her friend into a vampiric spawn and dangle the prospect in front of her but instead use some of your abilities to do stuff like enhance her but not give her the immortality she craves.
A promising athlete who was critically injured and is desperate to recover and rebuild their career.
A politician who craves more and more power, and is happy to make dark deals.
A terminally ill child with parents who are desperate to see them get better, and who will pay any price if it means their child has a miracle. And to keep paying for their child's continued health.
Sanguinarchs CAN be brutal overlords who conquer places with force, and that can be a lot of fun given how incredibly powerful the savage focus is (and how much scarier it can be with stuff like spectral form and regeneration). Sanguinarchs can also be shadowy deal makers who have fun putting things in place and watching how they move once they are positioned in front of each other.
There are some very inventive ways for a sanguinarch to get essence. One of my favorites is to create vampires that are, for all intents and purposes, succubi and have them run brothels where they sell themselves at incredibly low prices and have them feast on horny peeps. Another way I really like is to create charisma based vampires and turn banks into dens for my vampirism, or turn places like lending agencies into hives of my vampires.
Certain places are also very likely to be targeted by me whenever I create sanguinarchs (be they CYOA or jump sanguinarchs); hospitals and prisons. My sanguinarchs are invariably predatory assholes and they recognize how desperate people can be after a difficult doctor's visit, and they also see prisons as places that are incredibly easy to turn into patches of their dominion, whether it's turning desperate and scared prisoners into vampires or giving prison guards and staff the power to more easily and safely corral the prisoners.

Conclusion

I honestly just really like sanguinarchs. They have such fun and varied power sets, and can dramatically expand their toolkits with stuff like Absorption and the emulate function of their ability to manipulate essence. Sanguinarchs and Transynths are the oddest of the ascendants, but I have such fun with both of their power sets and it can be so rad to see what sort of mischief a sanguinarch jumper can get up too while turning a place into a part of their dominion.
I hope this overview helps you think more keenly about sanguinarchs and their eerie meshes of abilities. If you've ever run a sanguinarch jumper, or have plans to do so I'd love to hear all about them!

Yesterday I (M25) visited the Nous Klaer festival in Rotterdam at BRUTUS, a venue next door to BITTER. A club I’ve heard good things of but never went. I’m more familiar with the bigger events like Awakenings, Rotterdam Rave or free your mind but never had a “school”-like techno experience. This will be a review of someone who doesn’t have any experience in this scene and experiences it for the first time. A friend of mine who has been yapping on about her school time invited me to this festival and I’m forever in her debt because this festival raised the bar for me.
Location
A short walk from Marconiplein is an industrial site with different creative venues, setting the mood for a night of unfiltered artistic expression and vibrant energy. You entered through a beautiful sculpture garden with some wacky statues and get instantly drawn in into the first stage, a big open space perfect for a sundown set. The second stage was inside a warehouse with high ceilings and pillars, filled with smoke and lasers this stage was mesmerizing. If you entered a small door at the end of the cathedral and pass through a tunnel you can get to the third stage, disco inferno. Called after the exposition that was around it, a fascinating contraption that I didn’t understand but kept my mind guessing. Finally for the the people who like intimate sets there was the rave keet, a small ten by five meter cabin that shakes when everybody bounces. Big shout out to the organizers for this whole setup, it was perfect for walking circles, side questing and making you linger at places.

Music
This is the good shit, this is where this festival and the line up shines. Like I said I’m used to commercial DJs who just do transition mixes, but this was the real thing. DJs creating soundscapes with loops and basic sounds to a point where you don’t know what sounds come from the left or right deck. Highlights for me were Nelly b2b Tammo Hesselink, two different sounds that compliment each other. The trancey sounds of Nelly with the berlin sound of Tammo set the stage for the rest of the day. Hilbert played in the bowels of the festival in the disco inferno. Apparently it was the first time for the man in a long time, but you wouldn’t have noticed. The man was doing his magic live, constantly reusing different sounds in different orders making you hyped when a bass pattern came around again. During Konduku B2B Mary Lake in the concrete cathedral someone said to me, “this is total berlin vibes” and I totally believed him even though I’ve never been there. The hard beats hit the dancefloor in the cathedral like a priest delivering a sermon to the faithful. And I could only follow his lead and dance the sins away. If this is that berlin vibe that everybody keeps talking about I really need to make a pilgrims journey to the city. Finally John Talabot came to tear up the dancefloor outside and I don’t even know how to describe this, he played a mix of tribal, techno and drum and bass, I think? Never heard anything like it and I’m afraid I won’t find anything like it for a long time. This man is insane and everyone should experience this live. I’m literally speechless about this set.

Atmosphere
When you’re used to a crowd of buff muscles dudes and Instagram girl ravers it felt like a breath of fresh air to see and feel the diversity of this crowd. Cool outfits, funny personalities and everyone being open for a conversation of course but you could tell the people who went here were the people of the good life. The people who don’t just go to get fucked up but enjoy the day and most importantly the music. Even though some people were having conversations right in the middle of the dancefloor sometimes, you could always find a spot to space out and rave with people who vibe like you. I’m not a social butterfly like my friend, so I lost her at some point but that didn’t matter because I ended up dancing like manic with the other big dancers somewhere in the back. I make big movements when I dance and can easily push against people or accidently knock them, but everytime it happened people were like “Nah man you’re the good vibes, enjoy your time”. Final shoutout to the left front, lit as always no matter what stage. The vibe was great for people who just like to dance, great for people who prefer to socialize and for people who like to sidequest.
I can’t wait for the future events of nous klear, don’t know if they do more things like this at this venue but I could see myself becoming a regular at maybe the coolest festival I’ve been in my own town. Definitely going to end up in my top five festivals. For an event so small it left a huge impact on me. For people who were there too, if you saw a tall guy with long blonde hair, bandana, watermelon t shirt and probably dancing like a mental patient it was fun to experience this with you all and I can’t wait till next time.

Religion Name: Shrekism
Overview: Shrekism is a monotheistic religion that centers around the worship of Shrek, a beloved character from the animated movie franchise. Followers of Shrekism believe that Shrek is a divine being who created the world and all living things, and that he is the one true god.
Commandments:
Thou shalt love and respect Shrek above all else. Thou shalt treat others with kindness and compassion, just as Shrek does. Thou shalt strive to live a simple and humble life, free from greed and materialism. Thou shalt honor thy parents and family, for they are a gift from Shrek. Thou shalt not kill or harm any living creature, for all life is sacred to Shrek. Thou shalt not steal or covet that which belongs to others. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor or spread rumors and lies. Thou shalt keep the Sabbath day holy, and spend time in reflection and prayer. Thou shalt not engage in any form of sexual immorality or adultery. Thou shalt not worship any other gods or idols, for Shrek is the one true god.
Deadly Sins:
Pride: Believing oneself to be superior to others or placing oneself above Shrek. Greed: Excessive desire for wealth or material possessions. Envy: Jealousy of others' successes or possessions. Wrath: Uncontrolled anger or aggression towards others. Sloth: Laziness and apathy towards one's duties and responsibilities. Gluttony: Overindulgence in food or drink. Lust: Excessive or inappropriate sexual desire.
Practices:
Worship: Shrekists gather in their temples and offer prayers and offerings to Shrek. Pilgrimage: Shrekists may go on pilgrimage to the "Swamp of Serenity," where they believe Shrek first appeared to humanity. Fasting: Shrekists may fast on certain days to show their devotion and discipline. Charity: Shrekists are encouraged to be charitable and help those in need. Meditation: Shrekists may meditate on the teachings of Shrek and seek to deepen their understanding of his message. Communal Meals: Shrekists may share meals together as a symbol of unity and community.
Symbols:
The Green Flag: A green flag bearing the image of Shrek. The Onion: The onion is a symbol of humility and simplicity, which are important virtues in Shrekism. The Donkey: Donkey, Shrek's loyal companion, is seen as a symbol of friendship and loyalty in the Shrekist faith.
Holy Places:
The Swamp: In the Shrek bibles, Shrek's swamp is his sacred home and a symbol of his identity. A temple or shrine could be built in honor of the swamp, where followers could come to meditate and reflect.
The Castle: The castle where Princess Fiona lived in the first Shrek bible could be considered a holy place. Followers could come to pay their respects to the princess and learn more about her story.
The Windmill: The windmill where Shrek and Fiona first fell in love could also be considered a sacred site. Shrekists could come to pay their respects to the couple and learn more about the power of love.
Paradise:
The Swamp of Eternity: In this paradise, followers of shrekism could spend eternity living in their own version of Shrek's swamp. They would be surrounded by their loved ones, onions, donkeys, and the beauty of nature, and they could live in peace and happiness for all eternity.
Inferno:
The Pit of Isolation: This inferno would be a place where followers of the Shrek-based religion could be sent if they were deemed to have betrayed the values of the religion. In this pit, they would be cut off from all human interaction and forced to live in isolation for eternity, just like Fiona(the spouse of our holy diety) was.
Apostles:
Fiona, Shrek's wife and co-leader of the movement, who embodies the ideals of strength, courage, and compassion.
Donkey, Shrek's faithful and humorous companion, who represents the importance of loyalty and friendship.
Puss in Boots, a skilled and cunning warrior who symbolizes the virtues of agility and strategic thinking.
Dragon, a fierce and powerful ally who embodies the values of protection and loyalty.
Gingy, a tenacious and resilient gingerbread man who represents the importance of perseverance and determination.
Artie, a young and inexperienced prince who undergoes a transformation and represents the potential for growth and change.
Merlin, a wise and mystical advisor who provides guidance and spiritual insight.
Captain Hook, a former villain who has reformed and now serves as an example of redemption and forgiveness.
Doris, a former antagonist who has also reformed and represents the power of second chances.
Mama Bear, one of the Three Bears who represents the importance of family and community.
Thelonious, a henchman of Lord Farquaad who redeems himself and becomes a member of Shrek's inner circle, symbolizing the possibility of redemption and transformation for all.

If you've been pursuing deliverance, you may have heard the term alters and wondered what they are. Put simply, alters are false helpers that we have created to deal with traumas and life in general. How do we create alters? Through an evil spirit called the spirit of mind control, or the octopus spirit. This spirit "helps" us by giving us the power to create alters.
When people go through trauma, especially childhood trauma, they can develop severe mental health problems like PTSD or BPD. Trauma can break our psyche and destroy our natural ability to cope with the problems and issues of life. The evil spirit of mind control wants to help us with that. It does this by giving us the ability to compartmentalize the trauma and push it away from us by creating alters. This is what an alter is, which is a false helper that stands between us and the trauma and keeps it from hurting us. The more alters you create, the more dependent you become on a system to do life. Instead of relying on God, you rely on your system to handle all of lifes issues, even creating alters on the fly to help you with a myriad of situations.
You could look at alters like a spiritual AI program that is operating in the background and managing a trauma or problem by compartmentalizing it for you. When something threatens to bring it to the surface, like a trigger from a person or situation, that false helper arises to "protect" you. You may notice this effect when you feel threatened, that something that is different from you rises up inside of you and defends you. Or when you are dealing with a problem or with stress, that you go into a different mode which feels automated. In this mode or separate track you aren't totally in control and the emotions you feel are often harsh and uncomfortable, but it will get the job done. Some people have multiple of these going on at the same time, some for work, some for relationships, some for making decisions, etc. This is what I call the False Helper System.
What this looks like depends on the person and the traumas involved. An alter can be like wearing a different suit of clothes, or a different mindset, all the way up to a full fledged alternative personality that you interact with in an internal world. Whatever this may look like, it boils down to being a system of false helpers that you use to manage your life. You may be doing this completely unconsciously but the end result is that you aren't ever able to heal or move on from your problems because you are have compartmentalized them and blocked them out, suppressing memories and relying on a system to manage all of it.
This is often why deliverances get to a certain point and stop. That is because while you may have dealt with the sins and curses you haven't addressed the system you created. You are still relying on something other than God to do life which traps you in a web you can never get out of. You may even love and cherish your alters and not want to get rid of them because they keep you company and make you feel better. This is just happiness in slavery because using the alters keeps you enslaved to the spirit of mind control. The alters are his pawns that he uses to control your mind, which is the ultimate goal of this spirit. He uses them to lock you into cycles of sin, guilt, pain, depression, anxiety, fear and torment.
Alters are not a good thing, and they are bent toward evil. If they are conscious they do not want the person to be free of them and they will lie, manipulate, distort, or even work directly with the devil to maintain control. They are also open doors for every kind of evil spirit. A deliverance that doesn't deal with the false helper system will leave open doors for demons to come back in.
So how do you deal with this confusing problem? Number one, by repenting of receiving help from, and being in agreement with the spirit of mind control. Repenting of using the power of this spirit to create alters and managing your life through the false helper system you created. Only then as the head and not the tail can you take authority over the alters, dismiss them and give them to Jesus to be taken away. Relying on anything other than God is idolatry, so you will need to repent of the pride of self reliance and the idolatry of it. Ultimately, creating alters is rebellion against God and that is the sin of witchcraft according to 1 Samuel 15:23.
Get alone with the LORD and pray for Him to reveal the alters you have been depending upon in your life. Think about times of stress and difficulties where you may notice the switching taking place. Write down all of the alters that have been revealed by name, like the work alter, the decision making alter, etc. They may even have their own names, or take your name in a different form. Like if your name is Jim you may have a child alter named "little Jim". Catalogue all of these alters and then come before the LORD with this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come before your throne in a time of need according to Hebrews 4:16. I admit that I have created a system of control that relies on false helpers to manage my life. I repent of this sin of self-reliance, idolatry and witchcraft. I renounce the spirit of mind control that I gained this power from, and I repent of using this power to create alters. I bring a wall of the blood of Jesus between me and the spirit of mind control and I divorce it in the spiritual realm and serve it an eviction notice. I take authority over the spirit of mind control according to Luke 10:19 and I now command you to leave me immediately, you wicked spirit of mind control, and I sever all of your tentacles from my life and being and cast them away from me in Jesus name. Go to the pit now and never return in Jesus name. I now bind and break the power of mind control over my life in Jesus name.
I now invite the true HELPER, the Holy Spirit, to now take control of my mind and give me the mind of Christ according to 1 Corinthians 2:16. With the authority of Jesus Christ and the blood of Jesus I now dismiss every alter from service and take back the part of my soul they have occupied. As the head and not the tail, I command every alter personality to receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior as I have, and I turn them over to Jesus now for Him to deal with how He sees fit. I break the power of the false helper system over my life and my reliance upon it. Lord GOD cleanse me of all of the effects of these alters on my body, soul and spirit by the blood of Jesus.
I ask now for Jesus to fully inhabit my body as His holy temple, filling every room and chamber of my body with His blood and Spirit. I release every buried memory and trauma to Jesus. I ask Jesus to come personally into every suppressed memory, taking away its power over me and the pain and trauma of it, and to heal my mind completely of all fragmentation. I ask Jesus to unite my heart to fear His name according to Psalm 86:11. Please heal me of all of the effects of fear, anxiety and trauma has had over my life, in Jesus name.
This is a good prayer to get started but often these things are in layers and we have to pursue deliverance long term to get totally free. Changing from relying upon a system to relying upon God isn't easy, but God is here to guide us through that process by His indwelling Spirit through whom God has promised to quicken our mortal bodies in Romans 8:11. Please post testimonies and questions in the comments.
2 Corinthians 3:1 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty
John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Ephesians 2:12 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ

LESSON 161. Give me your blessing, holy Son of God.
Today we practice differently, and take a stand against our anger, that our fears may disappear and offer room to love. Here is salvation in the simple words in which we practice with today’s idea. Here is the answer to temptation which can never fail to welcome in the Christ where fear and anger had prevailed before. Here is Atonement made complete, the world passed safely by and Heaven now restored. Here is the answer of the Voice for God. Complete abstraction is the natural condition of the mind. But part of it is now unnatural. It does not look on everything as one. It sees instead but fragments of the whole, for only thus could it invent the partial world you see. The purpose of all seeing is to show you what you wish to see. All hearing but brings to your mind the sounds it wants to hear.
Thus were specifics made. And now it is specifics we must use in practicing. We give them to the Holy Spirit, that He may employ them for a purpose which is different from the one we gave to them. Yet He can use but what we made, to teach us from a different point of view, so we can see a different use in everything.
One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth. Yet do these thoughts make clear the meaning of creation? Do these words bring perfect clarity with them to you? What can they seem to be but empty sounds; pretty, perhaps, correct in sentiment, yet fundamentally not understood nor understandable. The mind that taught itself to think specifically can no longer grasp abstraction in the sense that it is all-encompassing. We need to see a little, that we learn a lot.
It seems to be the body that we feel limits our freedom, makes us suffer, and at last puts out our life. Yet bodies are but symbols for a concrete form of fear. Fear without symbols calls for no response, for symbols can stand for the meaningless. Love needs no symbols, being true. But fear attaches to specifics, being false.
Bodies attack, but minds do not. This thought is surely reminiscent of our text, where it is often emphasized. This is the reason bodies easily become fear’s symbols. You have many times been urged to look beyond the body, for its sight presents the symbol of love’s “enemy” Christ’s vision does not see. The body is the target for attack, for no one thinks he hates a mind. Yet what but mind directs the body to attack? What else could be the seat of fear except what thinks of fear?
Hate is specific. There must be a thing to be attacked. An enemy must be perceived in such a form he can be touched and seen and heard, and ultimately killed. When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God’s Voice proclaims there is no death. Fear is insatiable, consuming everything its eyes behold, seeing itself in everything, compelled to turn upon itself and to destroy.
Who sees a brother as a body sees him as fear’s symbol. And he will attack, because what he beholds is his own fear external to himself, poised to attack, and howling to unite with him again. Mistake not the intensity of rage projected fear must spawn. It shrieks in wrath, and claws the air in frantic hope it can reach to its maker and devour him.
This do the body’s eyes behold in one whom Heaven cherishes, the angels love and God created perfect. This is his reality. And in Christ’s vision is his loveliness reflected in a form so holy and so beautiful that you could scarce refrain from kneeling at his feet. Yet you will take his hand instead, for you are like him in the sight that sees him thus. Attack on him is enemy to you, for you will not perceive that in his hands is your salvation. Ask him but for this, and he will give it to you. Ask him not to symbolize your fear. Would you request that love destroy itself? Or would you have it be revealed to you and set you free?
Today we practice in a form we have attempted earlier. Your readiness is closer now, and you will come today nearer Christ’s vision. If you are intent on reaching it, you will succeed today. And once you have succeeded, you will not be willing to accept the witnesses your body’s eyes call forth. What you will see will sing to you of ancient melodies you will remember. You are not forgot in Heaven. Would you not remember it?
Select one brother, symbol of the rest, and ask salvation of him. See him first as clearly as you can, in that same form to which you are accustomed. See his face, his hands and feet, his clothing. Watch him smile, and see familiar gestures which he makes so frequently. Then think of this: What you are seeing now conceals from you the sight of one who can forgive you all your sins; whose sacred hands can take away the nails which pierce your own, and lift the crown of thorns which you have placed upon your bleeding head. Ask this of him, that he may set you free:
Give me your blessing, holy Son of God. I would behold you with the eyes of Christ, and see my perfect sinlessness in you.
And He will answer Whom you called upon. For He will hear the Voice for God in you, and answer in your own. Behold him now, whom you have seen as merely flesh and bone, and recognize that Christ has come to you. Today’s idea is your safe escape from anger and from fear. Be sure you use it instantly, should you be tempted to attack a brother and perceive in him the symbol of your fear. And you will see him suddenly transformed from enemy to savior; from the devil into Christ.

Note: I'm going to be writing this at approx. 3 am MST. So I wont read responses until I wake up, so expect me to reply either 12pm or later
Now this has been on my mind for a while now. As there are some things that have happened to me and my family that is either lottery winner luck, or divine intervention to make sure they are alive and well to birth and raise me. But the latter seems more likely.
But then there are definitely some concerning questions I raise about his existence.
For starters, the idea that you send yourself to hell by not believing in him, and that it's a choice or something you wanted prior.
First off, if someone believed in hell, why would they want to go? They're fed these ideas of hell being this horrible place that lasts forever for their entire lives since consciousness and all of a sudden it's their choice and that they wanted to go when they died?
Second off, how is it a choice to believe, and how can other things like homosexuality be a choice either? From what I know, there aren't any credible cases of conversion therapy that actually show it as possible. And how could belief, a strictly immutable characteristic be a choice? Why would God create someone that goes directly against his image? I believe that Jesus was a real entity and a very kind hearted person who believed what he was saying, but I can still have trouble believing that he was the son of God. (If you think belief is a choice, take a political opinion, and 'choose' to believe the exact opposite, you can't. Its either there to stay, or it naturally develops/withers away over time and exposure to new content, without your say)
Why would God give creation to those he knows will grow up to not believe? Why would he create anyone at all knowing they go to hell anyway?
I understand the all fair (even though making a belief a requirement despite no choice in it, and hereditary homosexuality aren't fair at all) and all just part, but how in any way is that all loving? And I too understand and incorporated the 'chose the decrease of power for humanity's free will' bit too, but that wouldn't answer my questions, as its just a coverup that makes no sense for trying to convince me.
That brings me onto another thing, if belief is a choice, and Christ is the only way, why would anyone need convincing to begin with? Can't they just choose to believe?
Now here's some other things I can't really get. The beginning of Genesis.
God created the heavens and the earth. Created the tree of life and knowledge. Divided the day and night and created Adam, Adam then named all of Gods other creations. God took his rib and created Eve. Awesome.
Now here's the things I don't get.

1. God then created the serpent as a test, what for? Free will wasn't a thing. That's why Adam and Eve never realized they were naked until eating the apple.. from the tree of.. well.. knowledge. And how/why would they even fall for the serpents tricks if free will wasn't a thing? The bible even says that by eating the apple they have damned his creation forever, im assuming by implying free will. Now you can say biting the apple was the creation of evil and sin. If so, why would God create something that leads to bad? Why would God help in the creation of Sin by creating the thing that helps create sin?
   
2. Why would all of humanity be damned from the apple? Why not just Adam and Eve? God has the power to do that obviously, and he loves us.
   
3. This just came up as I finished writing 2, but why would God send Jesus down to rise Adam and Eve and all of the others from hell? Why Adam and Eve? They're literally the reasons for everything bad.
   

Now those are some of the things I can think of right now, but in certain circumstances I can definitely think of a few others.
Now please don't tell me to repent, because what good will that do? Why would God listen the prayers of a non-believer? And how would repenting help anyway if I don't believe in it?
I don't mean to be hostile, I just get a little worked up regarding this topic and a lot of sense of unjust or unfairness from God is usually boiled down to the responses of "how can you question God?" or "God is good lol" when it doesn't answer any skepticism and possibly rejects someone from converting to Christ.
Well this was my little rant for now. If I have any other thoughts or updates, I might put it down in an edit. Either way, if you read my hogwash, thank you lol. I hope you all have a good night.

REP: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/1bon79d/oatmilk666s_igs_rep_page/\* Barter: https://barter.vga3d6/t/
All are humble bundle codes.
Ill gladly take gifted steam games (a la you buy it to me) instead of paypal.
I dont want to do giftlinks.
Im also willing to trade you codes vs a charity donation
to some reputable charity for example UNWRA or Internet Archive (a nonprofit digital library)
or some of your own choosing against providing me a copy of the receipt.
NEW:
Atari 50: The Anniversary Celebration
Grindstone
Mechwarrior 5: Mercenaries
Revival: Recolonization
Not For Broadcast
Hello Neighbor
Streets of Rogue
Gloomwood
Never Alone + Foxtales DLC
Arcadia Fallen
Monster Camp: Camp Forever Bundle
Monster Camp Character Pack - Colorful Campers
One-armed cook: Gourmet Upgrade
Chef: Full Menu Bundle
Broken Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Drawful 2
Driftland: The Magic Revival
ΔV: Rings of Saturn
EarthX
Neverout
Orbital Racer
Pixplode
This War of Mine
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
BioShock Remastered
Crusader Kings Complete
Dwarfs!?
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Stick Fight: The Game
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Memories of Mars
Deep Sky Derelicts
Idle Champions Celeste's Starter Pack
911 Operator
Gift of Parthax
Deadly 30
Doodle Derby
Dub Dash
Safety First!
Kathy Rain
Kingdom
Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
One Way Heroics
Armello
Eastside Hockey Manager
Endless Space - Collection
Hyper Light Drifter
Kingdom Classic
No Time To Explain Remastered
StarCrossed
Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
MotoGP 15
Train Simulator 2020
Train Simulator: CSX AC6000CW Loco Add-On
Train Simulator: Miami - West Palm Beach Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Riviera Line in the Fifties: Exeter - Kingswear Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Western Hydraulics Pack Add-On
Hacknet
Satellite Reign
Niche
Cities in Motion
Cities in Motion 2
11-11 Memories Retold
Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods DLC
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
SpeedRunners
Darkest Hour: A Hearts of Iron Game
140
Galactic Civilizations® I: Ultimate Edition
Galactic Civilizations® II: Ultimate Edition
Beholder
Insurgency
Grey Goo
Tormentor X Punisher
Puzzle Agent 2
Telltale Texas Hold ‘Em
The Walking Dead: 400 Days
Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings
VR:
Smashbox Arena
Telefrag VR
Slinger VR
Paper Fire Rookie
Expensive & rare / delisted & removed from steam:
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar games store)
Necromonads
Sonic CD
Sonic 3 & Knuckles
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Bone Episode 1 & Episode 2 Telltale Out from boneville & The great Cow Race
HITMAN: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
Jurassic Park: The Game
F1 2011 Clickteam Fusion 2.5
TOOLS/PROGRAMS
GameGuru
GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
Intro to Game Development with Unity
PDF-Suite 1 Year License
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
GameMaker Studio Pro
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
Free with trade:
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings II
POSTAL
Liberated (GOG)
Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
Intro to Game Development with Unity (not sure if valid)
................................
I dont want TF2 keys.
Open to offers & all kinds of games, let me know.

FREE tracked via An Post International Express Service and 20% off on the purchase of two or more
Some Embossed Play.com and Zavvi Exclusives here
No J-Cards. Blurays NEVER watched.
All opened and placed into a protective case.
Payment: Paypal F+F (can do services but add 5%)
https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipM5aN-LODOyUIB1VsIGsnNM10BEFs-7d1DnJfRBb7B1BdoaJWCmtl5Sc9O_BJspPg?key=ZXo2SVhRLXVObm5NN3M2YjhFbXNfcExOS0tvaXdn
Aladdin - $60
GRAVITY 3D $30
THREE AMIGOS! $60
SHAUN OF THE DEAD $40
ROGER RABBIT 25TH $80
Hulk VS $45
FULL METAL JACKET (Rare first release canada) $60
TERMINATOR 2 JUDGMENT DAY $30
FROZEN ULTIMATE BLUFANS $110
COWBOYS vs ALIENS $50
FROZEN ANNA BLUFANS $110
MONSTERS, INC. Kimchidvd Exclusive $65
X-MEN $40
STAR TREK $40
JOKER $40
TIGERLAND $40
STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS $40
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN DVD $30
RESERVOIR DOGS $50
The lost weekend $45
ULTIMATE BOURNE COLLECTION $40
FAST & FURIOUS7 $30
STEPHEN KING'S THE MIST Metal Pak $45
TWELVE MONKEYS DVD $40
30 days of night Metal Pak $45
fast and the furious 6 $40
the lives of others DVD $40
ghost in the shell $40
the frighteners $90
GREMLINS $65
INCEPTION $45
ARGO embossed $45
fast and the furious five 5 horizontal $50
BLOW OUT $45
CREED UK $40
BATMAN RETURNS. $40
THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE $45
THE MALTESE FALCON $55
Street FIGHTER $40
2012 (scratches) $30
X-Men First Class $40
TOTAL RECALL $40
NIKITA $75
Tangled kimchidvd $80
RANGO $40
BLACK SAILS SEASONS ONE & TWO
JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM $35
JURASSIC WORLD $35
THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK $35
JURASSIC PARK 3 $35
Cars $40
DIE UNGLAUBLICHEN The Incredibles $40
WRECK-IT RALPH $40
Avatar $40
Life of Pi 3d lenticular $55
Predator 3d lenticular $95
brazil $90
the mask of zorro $80
2012 $30
Sin City 2 $45
Hurt Locker 40
Suicide Squad 40
HULK (horizontal) 50
PITCH BLACK (horizontal) 50
VANISHING POINT 50
CASINO (horizontal) 80
The thin red line 50
WILLOW $50
FIRST MAN 45
HOT FUZZ (horizontal) 45
SNOW WHITE and the HUNTSMAN 50
ET THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL 40
RAID 55
silent running 55
THE TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE 40
INGLURIOUS BASTERDS 45
THE WRESTLER 90
LOOPER lenticular 85
LIMITLESS 70
PACIFIC RIM 3D 75
House of the Flying Daggers 75
THE BOOK OF ELI 40
v FOR VENDETTa 50
GONE WITH THE WIND 75
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince™ $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows™ - Part 1 $690 the lot delivered
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows™ - Part 2 $690 the lot delivered
The Fast and the Furious 35
His Dark Materials Series 1 55
A Star is Born 40
Town 45
Finding Nemo (embossed no disc) 30
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation 40
TRUE GRIT (emobossed) 50
WAR of the WORLDS (emobossed) play.com excl. 90
BEETLEJuice (embossed play.com excl) 75
Saving private ryan 55
TOY STORY 2 40
CLOVERFIELD (embossed play.com excl) 80
TOY STORY 40
Zulu 70
The Godfather Trilogy 110
Avengers 60
Toy Story 3 40
withnail and I embossed 70
Game of Thrones 1-7 with Sigil Magnets 600 delivered

https://bgodinspired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/1717922300.png

Understanding Mercy Through the Lens of the Bible

Have you ever experienced a moment when someone showed you grace when you least expected it? Mercy, a concept deeply embedded in the Bible, offers us a transformative path toward understanding and compassion. This article explores the principle of mercy within the biblical context and its relevance to our daily lives.

What is Mercy in the Bible?

Mercy is God’s loving and compassionate concern for humanity, especially when we are undeserving. The Bible defines mercy as an unmerited favor that goes beyond justice.

• Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV): “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

These verses remind us that God’s mercy is renewed every day, emphasizing its everlasting nature.

Parables That Illustrate Mercy

Jesus frequently used parables to teach about mercy. Two well-known parables serve as prime examples:

1. The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37):

• A Samaritan helps a wounded traveler, showing mercy while religious figures pass by.
• Key Lesson: True mercy transcends societal prejudices and is shown through tangible actions.
  
  1. The Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32):
• A father welcomes his wayward son back with open arms despite his past mistakes.
  
• Key Lesson: God’s mercy is always available, no matter how far we stray.
  

Reflect on these stories: How do they challenge your perspective on mercy?

Mercy in Action: Biblical Characters

Several biblical characters serve as beacons of mercy.

• Joseph (Genesis 45:1-15): Joseph forgives his brothers for selling him into slavery.
• Jesus (John 8:1-11): Jesus shows mercy to a woman caught in adultery, advising her to “go and sin no more.”

These examples are a testament to the life-transforming power of mercy. Can you think of moments in your life where showing mercy made a difference?

Applying Mercy in Our Lives Today

Mercy isn’t just a biblical concept; it’s a life principle that can transform our relationships and communities.

• Forgiving Others: Emulate God’s mercy by forgiving those who wrong you, just as He forgives us.
• Helping Those in Need: Like the Good Samaritan, provide assistance without expecting anything in return.
• Empathy and Compassion: Understand the struggles of others and offer support in their times of need.

As you incorporate mercy into your life, ask yourself: In what ways can I be more merciful in my daily interactions?

Interactive Reflection

Let’s take a moment to reflect:

• What area of my life could use more mercy?
• How can I show mercy to someone today?

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Conclusion

In a world that often feels harsh and unforgiving, mercy offers a beacon of hope and healing. Embracing it not only aligns us with biblical teachings but also enriches our lives and the lives of those around us.
Call to Action: Share this article with a friend who might need some encouragement. Comment below with how you plan to incorporate mercy into your life!
By understanding and practicing mercy as taught in the Bible, we open our hearts to profound experiences of grace and compassion. Embrace this timeless principle and watch how it transforms your life and relationships.
Keywords: Mercy in the Bible, biblical mercy, Good Samaritan, Prodigal Son, forgiving others, showing compassion, Bible teachings.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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Basics

• Feel free to leave a comment here, DM me on reddit or add me to talk on Steam, but a comment in this thread is still needed for a trade!
  
• I am open to any kind of offer, just make a reasonable one
  
• I take any Game/DLC I don’t have already (STEAM ONLY) You can compare here or here
  
• Also taking any Steam Items (Cards, CS2, TF2, etc.) & PayPal offers
  
• Trading my whole Steam Inventory, 15.000+ items if there is something you are interested in
  
• I will go first on keys that are already revealed to ensure the key is still working for you, all other keys are unrevealed & safe keys.
  

Important Links

• My Steam Wishlist ~ 300+ Games Wishlisted
  
• My Steam Games ~ 3000+ Owned Games
  
• My IGSRep Page ~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My SGS Flair~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My GameTradeRep ~ 20+ Trades Made
  

Humble Bundle Gifts
Steam

• 198X (Unused HG)
• 911 Operator
• Action Henk
• Anomaly Defenders
• Arizona Sunshine VR
• Armello
• Battletech – Shadow Hawk Pack (maybe used)
• Beholder
• Between the Stars
• BioShock™ Remastered (RL in some countries)
• Blaston
• Book of Demons
• Borderlands 2: GOTY
• Breathedge
• Broken Age
• Calico
• Crusader Kings II (RL in some Countries)
• Crusader Kings II The Old Gods DLC
• Deep Dungeons of Doom
• Draw Slasher
• Dungeon Rushers
• Elex II
• Embr
• Endless Space® - Collection
• From Space
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition
• GameGuru
• Going Under
• Golden Light
• Grime
• Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition
• Guts and Glory
• Hack 'n' Slash
• HackyZack
• HIVESWAP: Act 1
• How to Survive 1 (Unused HG)
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I'm not a Monster
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor Incursion
• Kingdom Classic
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Lust from Beyond - M Edition
• Monaco
• No Time to Explain Remastered
• Orbital Racer
• Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pesterquest
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pixplode
• Popup Dungeon
• Quake II
• Regular Human Basketball
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony (RL in some countries)
• Rym 9000
• SIMULACRA
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• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
• Soulblight
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• Space Pilgrim Episode 1: Alpha Centauri
• Stick Fight
• Stories Untold
• Stride
• Stronghold Crusader 2:
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Superliminal
• System Shock 2
• System Shock Enhanced Edition
• Talisman: Digital Edition
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Inner World
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Witness
• Ticket to Ride
• Tooth and Tail
• Tower 57
• Tropico 4
• Victoria 3
• Warhammer: End Times – Vermintide
• WARSAW
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• Westerado: Double Barreled
• Worms Rumble
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (Unused HG)
• Zero Caliber VR
• Zombie Driver HD *Prodeus

GOG

• Liberated
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories
• Disjunction

Origin

• Command & Conquer Remastered Collection
• Dead Space
• Mirror's Edge
• Populous

Rockstar Social Club

• Max Payne 3

Other

• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Microsoft 365 Single 1 Year Licence Code (Eurozone)
• Musik Maker EDM Edition (Magix Key)
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• Race The Sun (Flippfly Key)
• Rooster Teeth FIRST Subscription - 1 Month Free (Rooster Teeth Key)
• Starfinder Core Rulebook and Starfinder: Junker's Delight
• Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting (Paizo Key)

Fanatical Steam Keys

• 16bit Trader
• Alien Rampage
• A-Tech Cybernetic VR
• Castle of no Escape 2
• Daemonsgate
• DISTRAINT: Deluxe Edition
• Drill Arena
• Er-Spectro
• Eternam
• Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems
• Galactic Lords
• Grey Goo Definitive Edition
• Hostage: Rescue Mission
• King Arthur's Gold
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• Marco Polo
• OutDrive
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• Red Risk
• ShipLord
• SPACECOM
• Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
• Story Of the Survivor
• Timberman
• Trip to Vinelands
• Tropico 5
• TTV2
• UBERMOSH
• UBERMOSH Vol.3
• UBERMOSH Vol.5
• UBERMOSH:BLACK
• UBERMOSH:WRAITH
• W4RR-i/o-RS
• Walhall
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

Retail & Revealed Keys
Battle.net

• Overwatch Digital Extras [Collectors Edition Retail Key: World of Warcraft Winston, Hearthstone Cardback, Starcraft 2 Portraits, Heroes of the Storm Tracer, Diablo 3 Mercy Wings (+ XBOX One Mercy Wings)]
• Overwatch Widowmaker Noire Skin (XBOX ONE Code)

Steam

• 12 is Better Than 6
• A grande bagunça espacial - The big space mess
• Aegis Defenders
• AI War: Fleet Command
• Anomaly Korea
• Anomaly: Warzone Earth
• Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
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• BARRIER X
• Bear With Me Collectors Edition
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• Blood of the Old(OLD VERSION) + Blood of the Old - The Rise To Greatness
• Bomber Crew
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• Heaven Island Life
• iO
• JDM Tuner Racing
• Journey Down: Chapter Two
• Kingdom: Classic
• Krog Wars:
• LARA CROFT AND THE TEMPLE OF OSIRIS™
• Layers of Fear
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask
• Little Racers STREET
• Lost Moon
• Lost Moon:
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• PHAT STACKS
• Q.U.B.E.
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• ROGALIK
• Satellite Reign
• Serial Cleaner
• Sins of a Solar Empire Trinity Edition
• Skullgirls
• Snake Pass
• Space Beret
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Space Overlords
• Starship: Nova Strike
• State of Mind Soundtrack
• Stealth Bastard Deluxe
• Switchblade
• Tharsis
• The Deer
• The Next Door
• The Slaughtering Grounds
• The Strangers
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• Tomb Raider: Temple of Osiris & Guardian of Light Bundle
• Turn Around
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Unforgiving Trials: The Darkest Crusade
• Unforgiving Trials: The Space Crusade
• Unknown Battle
• VAULT OF HONOR
• Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa's Rampage
• Warp Rider
• Winged Knights: Penetration
• Witherung Kingdom: Arcane War
• Woodle Tree Adventure
• Yellow: The Yellow Artifact
• Zero Gear

Uplay

• Rayman® Origins
• Watch_Dogs™
• Watch_Dogs™ DEDSEC Edition Content

GoG

• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Playstation 4

• Tekken 7 - PS4 DLC Theme"
• Project CARS 2 - Dynamic Theme PS4"
• Dark Souls III Transitory Lands PS4 Theme
• Dark Souls III The Ringed City PS4 Theme
• Sword Art Online : Hollow Realization: DLC Maid Costume (Also PS Vita)
• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• DIGI’ADVENTURE PACK - PS4
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC (Also PS Vita)
• Tales of Zestiria - Mystische Artes und PlayStation-Designs (Also PS3)
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Xbox One

• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Nintendo Switch

• Enclave HD

Microsoft

• XBOX Game Pass 14 Days
• XBOX Game Pass 3 Months

Coupons & Other Stuff

• 25% Off Coupon for PurePings.com Servers
• Absolute LoJack for Laptops 90 Day Trial Key Giveaway
• Astro Lords: Oort Cloud Exclusive Alienware Pack
• BigHead BASH Alien Head Key Giveaway
• Broforce 25% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Civilization V 50% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Divine Souls Closed Beta Key Giveaway
• Drunken Robot Pornography 60% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Dungeon Defenders Eternity Alienware Helmet Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth 200 Silver Coin Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth Account Icon Key Giveaway
• Loadout Exclusive In-Game Alienware T-Shirt Key Giveaway
• Neverwinter's Tyranny of Dragons Prize Pack Key Giveaway
• Shadow Warrior 75% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• ShootMania Storm Exclusive Alienware Skin Giveaway
• War Inc. Arsenal Bundle Giveaway
• Warface Starter Pack Key Giveaway

Important Links
My Steam Wishlist
My Steam Games
My IGSRep Page
My SGS Flair
My GameTradeRep

Basics

• Feel free to leave a comment here, DM me on reddit or add me to talk on Steam, but a comment in this thread is still needed for a trade!
  
• I am open to any kind of offer, just make a reasonable one
  
• I take any Game/DLC I don’t have already (STEAM ONLY) You can compare here or here
  
• Also taking any Steam Items (Cards, CS2, TF2, etc.) & PayPal offers
  
• Trading my whole Steam Inventory, 15.000+ items if there is something you are interested in
  
• I will go first on keys that are already revealed to ensure the key is still working for you, all other keys are unrevealed & safe keys.
  

Important Links

• My Steam Wishlist ~ 300+ Games Wishlisted
  
• My Steam Games ~ 3000+ Owned Games
  
• My IGSRep Page ~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My SGS Flair~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My GameTradeRep ~ 20+ Trades Made
  

Humble Bundle Gifts
Steam

• 198X (Unused HG)
• 911 Operator
• Action Henk
• Anomaly Defenders
• Arizona Sunshine VR
• Armello
• Battletech – Shadow Hawk Pack (maybe used)
• Beholder
• Between the Stars
• BioShock™ Remastered (RL in some countries)
• Blaston
• Book of Demons
• Borderlands 2: GOTY
• Breathedge
• Broken Age
• Calico
• Crusader Kings II (RL in some Countries)
• Crusader Kings II The Old Gods DLC
• Deep Dungeons of Doom
• Draw Slasher
• Dungeon Rushers
• Elex II
• Embr
• Endless Space® - Collection
• From Space
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition
• GameGuru
• Going Under
• Golden Light
• Grime
• Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition
• Guts and Glory
• Hack 'n' Slash
• HackyZack
• HIVESWAP: Act 1
• How to Survive 1 (Unused HG)
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I'm not a Monster
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor Incursion
• Kingdom Classic
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Lust from Beyond - M Edition
• Monaco
• No Time to Explain Remastered
• Orbital Racer
• Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pesterquest
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pixplode
• Popup Dungeon
• Quake II
• Regular Human Basketball
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony (RL in some countries)
• Rym 9000
• SIMULACRA
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Space Pilgrim Episode 1: Alpha Centauri
• Stick Fight
• Stories Untold
• Stride
• Stronghold Crusader 2:
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Superliminal
• System Shock 2
• System Shock Enhanced Edition
• Talisman: Digital Edition
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Inner World
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Witness
• Ticket to Ride
• Tooth and Tail
• Tower 57
• Tropico 4
• Victoria 3
• Warhammer: End Times – Vermintide
• WARSAW
• We Were Here Together
• West of Dead
• Westerado: Double Barreled
• Worms Rumble
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (Unused HG)
• Zero Caliber VR
• Zombie Driver HD *Prodeus

GOG

• Liberated
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories
• Disjunction

Origin

• Command & Conquer Remastered Collection
• Dead Space
• Mirror's Edge
• Populous

Rockstar Social Club

• Max Payne 3

Other

• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Microsoft 365 Single 1 Year Licence Code (Eurozone)
• Musik Maker EDM Edition (Magix Key)
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• Race The Sun (Flippfly Key)
• Rooster Teeth FIRST Subscription - 1 Month Free (Rooster Teeth Key)
• Starfinder Core Rulebook and Starfinder: Junker's Delight
• Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting (Paizo Key)

Fanatical Steam Keys

• 16bit Trader
• Alien Rampage
• A-Tech Cybernetic VR
• Castle of no Escape 2
• Daemonsgate
• DISTRAINT: Deluxe Edition
• Drill Arena
• Er-Spectro
• Eternam
• Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems
• Galactic Lords
• Grey Goo Definitive Edition
• Hostage: Rescue Mission
• King Arthur's Gold
• King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
• Marco Polo
• OutDrive
• Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
• Particula
• Prophecy I - The Viking Child
• Red Risk
• ShipLord
• SPACECOM
• Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
• Story Of the Survivor
• Timberman
• Trip to Vinelands
• Tropico 5
• TTV2
• UBERMOSH
• UBERMOSH Vol.3
• UBERMOSH Vol.5
• UBERMOSH:BLACK
• UBERMOSH:WRAITH
• W4RR-i/o-RS
• Walhall
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

Retail & Revealed Keys
Battle.net

• Overwatch Digital Extras [Collectors Edition Retail Key: World of Warcraft Winston, Hearthstone Cardback, Starcraft 2 Portraits, Heroes of the Storm Tracer, Diablo 3 Mercy Wings (+ XBOX One Mercy Wings)]
• Overwatch Widowmaker Noire Skin (XBOX ONE Code)

Steam

• 12 is Better Than 6
• A grande bagunça espacial - The big space mess
• Aegis Defenders
• AI War: Fleet Command
• Anomaly Korea
• Anomaly: Warzone Earth
• Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
• Attrition: Nuclear Domination
• Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
• BARRIER X
• Bear With Me Collectors Edition
• Bioshock 2
• Blood of the Old(OLD VERSION) + Blood of the Old - The Rise To Greatness
• Bomber Crew
• Boys Love (Locked on Steam)
• Chroma Squad
• Clickdraw Clicker
• Dark Deity
• Darkness and a Crowd
• Deadbreed
• Death Squared
• Desolate
• Drift Streets Japan
• East India Company Gold
• Endless Space Collection
• Food Hunter
• Freebie
• Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
• Galactic Lords
• Glass Wing
• Dirt Rally
• GROOVY
• GT Legends
• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Heaven Island - VR MMO
• Heaven Island Life
• iO
• JDM Tuner Racing
• Journey Down: Chapter Two
• Kingdom: Classic
• Krog Wars:
• LARA CROFT AND THE TEMPLE OF OSIRIS™
• Layers of Fear
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask
• Little Racers STREET
• Lost Moon
• Lost Moon:
• Mad Games Tycoon
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• Magma Tsunami
• Manual Samuel
• Medieval Wars
• Megabyte Punch
• Mighty Party
• Mini Attack Submarine
• Monsti
• Multiple Key for: Brilliant Bob / Why So Evil / Why So Evil 2: Dystopia
• No Turning Back
• Nomad Survival
• One Finger Death Punch
• Paradox Wrench
• Paranormal Psychosis
• PHAT STACKS
• Q.U.B.E.
• Rapture Rejects - Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC
• Rise of Industry
• ROGALIK
• Satellite Reign
• Serial Cleaner
• Sins of a Solar Empire Trinity Edition
• Skullgirls
• Snake Pass
• Space Beret
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Space Overlords
• Starship: Nova Strike
• State of Mind Soundtrack
• Stealth Bastard Deluxe
• Switchblade
• Tharsis
• The Deer
• The Next Door
• The Slaughtering Grounds
• The Strangers
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• Tomb Raider: Temple of Osiris & Guardian of Light Bundle
• Turn Around
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Unforgiving Trials: The Darkest Crusade
• Unforgiving Trials: The Space Crusade
• Unknown Battle
• VAULT OF HONOR
• Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa's Rampage
• Warp Rider
• Winged Knights: Penetration
• Witherung Kingdom: Arcane War
• Woodle Tree Adventure
• Yellow: The Yellow Artifact
• Zero Gear

Uplay

• Rayman® Origins
• Watch_Dogs™
• Watch_Dogs™ DEDSEC Edition Content

GoG

• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Playstation 4

• Tekken 7 - PS4 DLC Theme"
• Project CARS 2 - Dynamic Theme PS4"
• Dark Souls III Transitory Lands PS4 Theme
• Dark Souls III The Ringed City PS4 Theme
• Sword Art Online : Hollow Realization: DLC Maid Costume (Also PS Vita)
• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• DIGI’ADVENTURE PACK - PS4
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC (Also PS Vita)
• Tales of Zestiria - Mystische Artes und PlayStation-Designs (Also PS3)
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Xbox One

• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Nintendo Switch

• Enclave HD

Microsoft

• XBOX Game Pass 14 Days
• XBOX Game Pass 3 Months

Coupons & Other Stuff

• 25% Off Coupon for PurePings.com Servers
• Absolute LoJack for Laptops 90 Day Trial Key Giveaway
• Astro Lords: Oort Cloud Exclusive Alienware Pack
• BigHead BASH Alien Head Key Giveaway
• Broforce 25% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Civilization V 50% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Divine Souls Closed Beta Key Giveaway
• Drunken Robot Pornography 60% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Dungeon Defenders Eternity Alienware Helmet Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth 200 Silver Coin Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth Account Icon Key Giveaway
• Loadout Exclusive In-Game Alienware T-Shirt Key Giveaway
• Neverwinter's Tyranny of Dragons Prize Pack Key Giveaway
• Shadow Warrior 75% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• ShootMania Storm Exclusive Alienware Skin Giveaway
• War Inc. Arsenal Bundle Giveaway
• Warface Starter Pack Key Giveaway

Important Links
My Steam Wishlist
My Steam Games
My IGSRep Page
My SGS Flair
My GameTradeRep

Basics

• Feel free to leave a comment here, DM me on reddit or add me to talk on Steam, but a comment in this thread is still needed for a trade!
  
• I am open to any kind of offer, just make a reasonable one
  
• I take any Game/DLC I don’t have already (STEAM ONLY) You can compare here or here
  
• Also taking any Steam Items (Cards, CS2, TF2, etc.) & PayPal offers
  
• Trading my whole Steam Inventory, 15.000+ items if there is something you are interested in
  
• I will go first on keys that are already revealed to ensure the key is still working for you, all other keys are unrevealed & safe keys.
  

Important Links

• My Steam Wishlist ~ 300+ Games Wishlisted
  
• My Steam Games ~ 3000+ Owned Games
  
• My IGSRep Page ~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My SGS Flair~ 60+ Trades Made
  
• My GameTradeRep ~ 20+ Trades Made
  

Humble Bundle Gifts
Steam

• 198X (Unused HG)
• 911 Operator
• Action Henk
• Anomaly Defenders
• Arizona Sunshine VR
• Armello
• Battletech – Shadow Hawk Pack (maybe used)
• Beholder
• Between the Stars
• BioShock™ Remastered (RL in some countries)
• Blaston
• Book of Demons
• Borderlands 2: GOTY
• Breathedge
• Broken Age
• Calico
• Crusader Kings II (RL in some Countries)
• Crusader Kings II The Old Gods DLC
• Deep Dungeons of Doom
• Draw Slasher
• Dungeon Rushers
• Elex II
• Embr
• Endless Space® - Collection
• From Space
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition
• GameGuru
• Going Under
• Golden Light
• Grime
• Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition
• Guts and Glory
• Hack 'n' Slash
• HackyZack
• HIVESWAP: Act 1
• How to Survive 1 (Unused HG)
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I'm not a Monster
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor Incursion
• Kingdom Classic
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Lust from Beyond - M Edition
• Monaco
• No Time to Explain Remastered
• Orbital Racer
• Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pesterquest
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pixplode
• Popup Dungeon
• Quake II
• Regular Human Basketball
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony (RL in some countries)
• Rym 9000
• SIMULACRA
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Space Pilgrim Episode 1: Alpha Centauri
• Stick Fight
• Stories Untold
• Stride
• Stronghold Crusader 2:
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Superliminal
• System Shock 2
• System Shock Enhanced Edition
• Talisman: Digital Edition
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Inner World
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Witness
• Ticket to Ride
• Tooth and Tail
• Tower 57
• Tropico 4
• Victoria 3
• Warhammer: End Times – Vermintide
• WARSAW
• We Were Here Together
• West of Dead
• Westerado: Double Barreled
• Worms Rumble
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (Unused HG)
• Zero Caliber VR
• Zombie Driver HD *Prodeus

GOG

• Liberated
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories
• Disjunction

Origin

• Command & Conquer Remastered Collection
• Dead Space
• Mirror's Edge
• Populous

Rockstar Social Club

• Max Payne 3

Other

• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Microsoft 365 Single 1 Year Licence Code (Eurozone)
• Musik Maker EDM Edition (Magix Key)
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• Race The Sun (Flippfly Key)
• Rooster Teeth FIRST Subscription - 1 Month Free (Rooster Teeth Key)
• Starfinder Core Rulebook and Starfinder: Junker's Delight
• Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting (Paizo Key)

Fanatical Steam Keys

• 16bit Trader
• Alien Rampage
• A-Tech Cybernetic VR
• Castle of no Escape 2
• Daemonsgate
• DISTRAINT: Deluxe Edition
• Drill Arena
• Er-Spectro
• Eternam
• Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems
• Galactic Lords
• Grey Goo Definitive Edition
• Hostage: Rescue Mission
• King Arthur's Gold
• King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
• Marco Polo
• OutDrive
• Overcast - Walden and the Werewolf
• Particula
• Prophecy I - The Viking Child
• Red Risk
• ShipLord
• SPACECOM
• Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
• Story Of the Survivor
• Timberman
• Trip to Vinelands
• Tropico 5
• TTV2
• UBERMOSH
• UBERMOSH Vol.3
• UBERMOSH Vol.5
• UBERMOSH:BLACK
• UBERMOSH:WRAITH
• W4RR-i/o-RS
• Walhall
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

Retail & Revealed Keys
Battle.net

• Overwatch Digital Extras [Collectors Edition Retail Key: World of Warcraft Winston, Hearthstone Cardback, Starcraft 2 Portraits, Heroes of the Storm Tracer, Diablo 3 Mercy Wings (+ XBOX One Mercy Wings)]
• Overwatch Widowmaker Noire Skin (XBOX ONE Code)

Steam

• 12 is Better Than 6
• A grande bagunça espacial - The big space mess
• Aegis Defenders
• AI War: Fleet Command
• Anomaly Korea
• Anomaly: Warzone Earth
• Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
• Attrition: Nuclear Domination
• Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
• BARRIER X
• Bear With Me Collectors Edition
• Bioshock 2
• Blood of the Old(OLD VERSION) + Blood of the Old - The Rise To Greatness
• Bomber Crew
• Boys Love (Locked on Steam)
• Chroma Squad
• Clickdraw Clicker
• Dark Deity
• Darkness and a Crowd
• Deadbreed
• Death Squared
• Desolate
• Drift Streets Japan
• East India Company Gold
• Endless Space Collection
• Food Hunter
• Freebie
• Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
• Galactic Lords
• Glass Wing
• Dirt Rally
• GROOVY
• GT Legends
• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Heaven Island - VR MMO
• Heaven Island Life
• iO
• JDM Tuner Racing
• Journey Down: Chapter Two
• Kingdom: Classic
• Krog Wars:
• LARA CROFT AND THE TEMPLE OF OSIRIS™
• Layers of Fear
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask
• Little Racers STREET
• Lost Moon
• Lost Moon:
• Mad Games Tycoon
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• Magma Tsunami
• Manual Samuel
• Medieval Wars
• Megabyte Punch
• Mighty Party
• Mini Attack Submarine
• Monsti
• Multiple Key for: Brilliant Bob / Why So Evil / Why So Evil 2: Dystopia
• No Turning Back
• Nomad Survival
• One Finger Death Punch
• Paradox Wrench
• Paranormal Psychosis
• PHAT STACKS
• Q.U.B.E.
• Rapture Rejects - Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC
• Rise of Industry
• ROGALIK
• Satellite Reign
• Serial Cleaner
• Sins of a Solar Empire Trinity Edition
• Skullgirls
• Snake Pass
• Space Beret
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Space Overlords
• Starship: Nova Strike
• State of Mind Soundtrack
• Stealth Bastard Deluxe
• Switchblade
• Tharsis
• The Deer
• The Next Door
• The Slaughtering Grounds
• The Strangers
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• Tomb Raider: Temple of Osiris & Guardian of Light Bundle
• Turn Around
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Unforgiving Trials: The Darkest Crusade
• Unforgiving Trials: The Space Crusade
• Unknown Battle
• VAULT OF HONOR
• Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa's Rampage
• Warp Rider
• Winged Knights: Penetration
• Witherung Kingdom: Arcane War
• Woodle Tree Adventure
• Yellow: The Yellow Artifact
• Zero Gear

Uplay

• Rayman® Origins
• Watch_Dogs™
• Watch_Dogs™ DEDSEC Edition Content

GoG

• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Playstation 4

• Tekken 7 - PS4 DLC Theme"
• Project CARS 2 - Dynamic Theme PS4"
• Dark Souls III Transitory Lands PS4 Theme
• Dark Souls III The Ringed City PS4 Theme
• Sword Art Online : Hollow Realization: DLC Maid Costume (Also PS Vita)
• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• DIGI’ADVENTURE PACK - PS4
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC (Also PS Vita)
• Tales of Zestiria - Mystische Artes und PlayStation-Designs (Also PS3)
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Xbox One

• DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2 - Masters Pack
• One Piece Burning Blood - Golden Luffy DLC
• Little Nightmares - DLC Tengu Mask
• Little Nightmares - DLC Fox Mask

Nintendo Switch

• Enclave HD

Microsoft

• XBOX Game Pass 14 Days
• XBOX Game Pass 3 Months

Coupons & Other Stuff

• 25% Off Coupon for PurePings.com Servers
• Absolute LoJack for Laptops 90 Day Trial Key Giveaway
• Astro Lords: Oort Cloud Exclusive Alienware Pack
• BigHead BASH Alien Head Key Giveaway
• Broforce 25% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Civilization V 50% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Divine Souls Closed Beta Key Giveaway
• Drunken Robot Pornography 60% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• Dungeon Defenders Eternity Alienware Helmet Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth 200 Silver Coin Key Giveaway
• Heroes Of Newerth Account Icon Key Giveaway
• Loadout Exclusive In-Game Alienware T-Shirt Key Giveaway
• Neverwinter's Tyranny of Dragons Prize Pack Key Giveaway
• Shadow Warrior 75% Steam Discount Key Giveaway
• ShootMania Storm Exclusive Alienware Skin Giveaway
• War Inc. Arsenal Bundle Giveaway
• Warface Starter Pack Key Giveaway

Important Links
My Steam Wishlist
My Steam Games
My IGSRep Page
My SGS Flair
My GameTradeRep

I'm writing this on a throwaway account since these people know my main and actively engage with it. This is also gonna be a pretty long post since I'd like to provide context on how I even ended up where I am today so strap on in. Also apologies if any of this doesn't make sense, I'm pretty upset and stressed out and I've not slept in what feels like weeks. I have a lot of anxiety about all of this.
I started my first year in uni last year in September and met a couple of people I thought were nice enough on the first day. I'll call them 'G' and 'M'. I thought they were nice at first and we got closer as the weeks went by. G and M are also engaged so we talked about weddings quite often. They're are also cosplayers which becomes key in this. We got a lot closer around a time they were going to a con. Their previous friend had dropped out last minute but since they had already paid for everything they invited me. I also wanted to get into cosplaying at the time so I saw this as a perfect opportunity. I would spend nights at their dorms getting know them and we instantly got a long.
At the time, I was very nieve to all the red flags they were presenting as they were unusually willing to let me know EVERY detail of their life, including their sex life and what not. I found it werid but chalked it up to them being very comfortable around me which I found to be a compliment at the time but looking back, I now knew what was up.
(A little but of important info here but I had just feld a country 5 months prior to escape the abuse I was experiencing at home and went to live with my mum. G and M knew this and knew about my dad in depth)
Con comes around and they introduced me to a group of friends who were instantly very reserved around me. I chalked it up to nerves and thought that maybe they're just nervous which is understandable. This was until everytime I would speak they would give me dirty looks, talk over me and even dismiss me. M had also picked up a habit of making a lot of things about himself and anything I found interesting, he would make it clear that he didn't want to know, even telling me that he just doesn't want to hear it. When I went to meet a YouTube who attended the con, he seemed annoyed when I was excited and told me to stop being so excited since this was his 3rd time meeting them.
By time I got back home, their dismissing and also just really shitty attitude throughout left a sour taste in my mouth. However, I just chalked it up to nerves at the time.
A month goes by and they intoeduce me to another cosplayer who I quickly became friends with. When I told G about this, they told me to stop talking to them since I'll brea their heart as they "fall in love easily". I really didn't get that sentiment but still continued talking. Nothing romantic was ever talked about.
Then I started feel more attached to these people. They were practically in my life 24/7, I wa sin their dorms over nights almost everyday and began picking up the same eating habits as them as well. It's also worth noting that these people are "disabled" which is still up to debate.
They would frequently interrupted anything I enjoyed and conveniently pass out EVERYTIME I talked about something I liked or wanted to do. I also suffer with VERY acute psychosis which has been well treated for many years. They would constantly tell me that any doubts I had were just to do with my paranoia and that I should just ignore it. That or they would tell me that I was being manipulative and seeking attention.
This was all very sus but up until the incident I chalked it up to learned behaviour as I know one of them suffers with PTSD like I do.
At some point around this time, I had developed a severe kidney infection which almost turned into sepsis and I had to get the ambulance out to me. I'm no stranger to ambulances as I also have them out frequently due to severe panic attacks which almost cause a seizure and a heart attack I'm some cases.
Strangely after this, despite telling me that they've never had an ambulance out to them, for anything small like an ache they would call 111 which they didn't know before I had told them. 111 in the UK is the none emergency line that can send out am ambulance if you need it. However in a lot of the cases M had, they were perfectly fine but would cry and sob on the phone and say they felt like dying. Of course they send out an ambulance to check on them but it would always be fine.
Worried as I was all the time, I neglected my studies to take care of them and I'd spend a lot on them since I felt the compulsive need to take care of them. They would also guilt trio me with the fact that they were both previously homeless in their childhoods so I needed to get them something in return. I ended up spending over 300 pounds a month on them.
I caught M out one though since the uni I go to, require the ambulances to inform the reception first for permission and to unlock all the doors for them. Before going up to M, I had to go to reception to ask if they would let me in. When I informed they why, they were confused and said that there were no ambulances that parked up at all, not even firefighters which sometimes arrive for medical aid occasionally.
Moving forward a lil I had started to grown attached to them more to the point where I thought I liked them. They expressed to me previously that they're poly and so am I. M had even stated to me that when they first met me they found me attractive and wanted to potentially have relationship.
One day I decided to just confess over text making it extremely clear to them that they had to think about it first so that we did not rush into things and make things worse. If they wanted to be friends then i would be ok with that and I made myself very clear 3 or 4 times within the text.
Instantly, because i was in the room next to them, they came in and told me that they loved me. They hugged me and cuddled me for a while until we went into M room. I was in G room at the time. Suddenly, they both got completely naked in front of me. I had told them that I'm ok with boxers and a shirt since they were more like shorts but getting naked? I was shocked but just went along with it. I was in a shirt and boxers until they told me that i should join them and take my top and bra off (we're all under the trans umbrella). They both persisted and feeling pressured I took my shirt and bra off and joined them in bed. Then G opens up a folder on their phone of their nudes together which I was in shock for. I knew they had it but tbh, I didn't really want to see it. They then expressed how our previous shopping trip to a sex store (we're adults and we go in there cause why not) was a test to see if I would take the hint they liked me. I'm autistic but even I could tell that that was a lie. There were never any discussions of that nature that took place that day.
They then went on about their sex life in full detail. I'm not particularly fond of the idea of personally having sex within the first few months of dating since I'm very frigid about that sort of thing. I'm not stranger to sled pleasure but anything like that is entirely different and I wanted my boundaries to be known then and there. There were a few touches here and there after that, all of which would explicitly done with consent as I have had encounters with SA previously. They knew this.
After that day, they all of a sudden stopped talking me completely. We were on uni break so it wasn't like I could talk to them in class about it either. I felt alone and like I had done something wrong. This sent me onto a pretty bad depressive episode which triggered a small psychotic episode to occur. During which they would constantly tell me when they did feel like talking to me that i was just like my dad (abuser) and that I was being annoying and paranoid about everything. I have since talked to me my mum about this since my memory is a little hazy from that time and she said that the only thing that could've given the episode away was my sudden belief in a god and afterlife. I'm an atheist and grew up that way. But G and M were mostly referring to the fact that on numerous occasions I had called them out on body shaming me, using me as fatspo to fuel their own anorexia and belittling language they would against me constantly. This was even present in class alot since some students who I'm now friends with even stated that they acted as if they ere higher than everyone. Anytime you didn't give them attention, they'd start going on about suicide or passing out only to wake up seconds later.
They also claim to have DID and that one of their alters had encephalitis. This wasn't just a symptom holder either. They would claim they all had it and even told paramedics who were caring for another patient who had broke their leg on campus at the time that they had it. Although after this, they came back pissed to the paramedics caught on pretty quickly that this was a lie.
Months of this built up a full mental breakdown and I had one of the most server panic attacks of my life. I had to be admitted onto A&E where u saw the mental health team to discuss as safety plan since I was have frequent bouts of this. I've always felt with hallucinations since I was 8 but never like I had on that day and to this day, the only thing I can fully remember is the feeling and vision I had. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
G and M response to this? They went to my friend who was packing my bag at the time and told them that if they didn't pack it the right way I would hate them. They actually cold apparently and not once did they ask how I was. When I got home, I only saw one text saying "hey, Ik your in A&E but you can tell me in your own time what happend."
They were very much disinterested me and I began to be fed up with them. I had an upcoming concert with them not long after so I figured I'd keep the peace until them and they distance myself from them since I was clearly suffering from it all. Around this time, I had randomly been kicked out of the discord we had together with the people we met at con. I asked around they just gave one word responses. I had attempted to be friends with them before but annoyed by their sudden disinterest in me again, I just moved on.
Fast forward and I'm logging in on minecraft to a shared server we had. I used this server as a coping mechanism since it was literally the only thing that got me out of bed and moving to a degree some days. However everything I ahd built was gone. All my pent uo frustration just let itself out and I started crying down the phone over a voice message to G. I was a bit pissed but overly. Key thing note however is that I was having a go at them and in no way screaming at them which they later claimed I did. I even showed my mum and therapist and they were both in agreement that I was not shouting nor did I even raise my voice. It sounded more like I was upset than anything else.
G then said that they lost trust me because of this and that they wanted some distance for a while. I apologies profusely, even getting my mum to help me since I was I no way fit to text. However, a dumb mistake we made was sending the same apology over to the both of them, the only difference being their name. G then stated that because of the name, that they felt like I wasn't actually apologising and didn't wanna hear it. I tried to clear things up but the they told me that I had no excuse to act this way towards them since they were "such a good friend to me". After this, i went on call with a friend of mine who is my ex. However we ended on pretty good terms and are still close to this day. They even look after my cat for me.
I'm gonna call him J. J can be the over protective type so in response to my distress texted G ti find out more about why they were so cold about everything and in his mind, over reacted to something so insignificant like minecraft. This is where they made the claimed that I had screamed at them and I sent them into a PTSD attack. What J did notice though was that the story they gave was almost word for word of a panic attack in had explained to J about, almost like they copied it and changed a few things. They the proceeded to tell me that I was abusing them in that moment and that i was exactly like their dad (who's a pedo btw). Hurt by this and the fact that I had told J to NOT text G at all, I ended thinsg of stating my true feelings about everything and said that I never wanted to see them again. It felt good to get it off my chest and honestly freeing. The weeks after that were spent healing in therapy with my mum who both agreed that their actions in the past were more akin to.emotional bullying. Om still coming to terms with this I had trusted them with every fibre of my being. It felt like my heart was being ripped apart whoever, I stated talking to new people in my class around that time. Each of them said that they had notice the same behaviours towards me themselves and were honestly concerned for my safety since they would frequently talk shit about me behind my back. They then put on their snapchat story the next day that they were greatful for the friend they had and got rid of dead weight in their life. They also chalk up their sudden change to be apart of their BPD which if you have seen the eyes of someone who's manic, you'd know that it has a distinct look. The photos they took of themselves really disturbed me as you can clearly tell they're not right in the head at all. The eyes were dark and blown fully. Their eyes just looks black and soulless. I showed another friend who has BPD to confirm if it was what I was thinking and they agreed. It was unnerving and I honestly felt uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep well that night. They looked like they belonged in those headshots of convicts who had just been arrested and still are clearly under the influence. After this I also sent out a text containing context to everything to the group chat since I knew they were gonna manipulate things. I have seen them in person do it and it's honestly disturbing to see. Each one responded telling me that I was a liar and that I should feel ashamed of myself. One even told me they weren't gonna hear me out since they didn't know me well which I think is just a werid line of logic to have tbh. One even accused me of faking my disability which I quick proved to be false which silenced them. I've since blocked every single one of them since I don't wnat anything to do with them at all. I don't want them to know about my life and twist things again to hurt me. Forgive me if I'm over doing it but honestly, it was like I was talking to group of psychopaths who didn't care for anyone but themselves. Their past actions certainly proved that much.
Fast forward a week and I'm out shopping with friends all of a sudden, at even location we were at G was there. These were bookshops that were not well known the area and hidden very well so there would be no way G would know about them, especially since they don't like reading. G still followed one of my friends on snapchat and we found out by testing that every post we'd make, with or without the location attached, G would be right there moments later. Creeper out we ended the day for our own safety and went home.
Ever since all that, I have been taking to a friend of mine who G and M claimed abused them although with the evidence I have seen, it was the complete opposite. G was a regular drug user and would constantly use drugs as an excuse for their actions. My friend also suffered heavily with mental health problems and physical ailments that they need physio therapy for. G and M would constantly tell them they were faking and that they should stop acting like they were in pain. This is similar to an incident where they stated that I was not physically disabled cause they couldn't see it. Which is stupid honestly. By law, I am classed as disabled as to this day I struggle diary with ankle and knee problems due to a late development. I frequently use my braces but I don't use a cane since I'm too self conscious despite it being recommended to me by my doctors.
It hurt to see that they were treated this way and we bonded over shared experiences. There were also other people they had done this too.
Finally getting to the main issue, recently a con just took place which I had to cancel last minute since a family member died and I had to fly back over to my previous country to attend the funeral. The friend that G and M introduced to me started getting closer to them which I honestly didn't pay much mind to since I'm now just done with that shit. However, it wast until now that I feel uncomfortable. All of a sudden, this friend, ill call them O, had removed me from their private account for "safety reasons" and said they had done this to othe people. It didn't take long before I saw with my own eyes that it was just me. G and M have a nasty habit of spreading false rumours and if you know the cosplay community well, that shit spreads liek wildfire. It doesn't have that they have a sizable following compared to mine and know alot more people than I do. I honestly think they're tryna turn people against me and I don't know what to do at this point. I want them to leave me alone and keep my name out of things. I have had so many great days ever since we stopped being friends and my health has also improved dramatically. I'm not having as many panic attacks or severe ones either and I've not had a depressive episode like the ones before ever since.
I don't want to be dragged down like this and I wanted to defend myself however I know for a fact they have more influence then me so many people will side with them just like the group chat did. I don't know what to do anymore and I really don't want things to kick off again either. If I sense any drama starting at all I will just block people cause I'm just not having it. It's all child's play and they honestly need to fucking grow up and grow some balls or something. I just don't know what to do anymore. Thoughts?