Heads up: this is long, and I don’t know what I am asking. Maybe writing this down was some sort of therapy or at least a way to get some of my thoughts in order. I am always appreciative of some perspective.
So, the scary and ugly words that may define the end of a relationship era have been said…”Maybe we should just call it quits then”. I am very sad for the kids and our family and mostly worry about how we should tell this to our older kid (6). This will be devastating for them.
Some context: My partner (M38) and I (F43) are together for 12 years, not married, two young children (6 & 2). We both work full-time, have a house and lead a fairly average and busy life. We don’t live in our home country, which we left 12 years ago, and have been living abroad ever since (different countries). So, we’ve been through a lot together and had plenty of good and some challenging times. Also, we don’t have any family support in the country we call home now.
Our challenges started a while ago, got better for a long time (we decided to buy a house and had a second child that is now 2) and now we are back to bad. This was seriously creeping up on me and I am very confused about the overall up and down of my partner perceiving our relationship as good or bad. I am a fighter and tend to want to work on things as I don’t assume it will be easy breezy without putting in the effort. He, I don’t know, may be done putting any effort into the relationship or is not willing to put the right amount in, as he hopes to get away with little to no fighting.
Going back to the beginning of the pandemic, about 2 years after the birth of our older child, he told me he wants to leave me as he didn’t think that our relationship was good or loving enough and he couldn’t take it anymore. We decided to do couples counselling and worked, amongst others, on our communication, which appeared to be an issue. Our relationship improved and I started working on some personal challenges that stem from my childhood.
Our upbringing was quite different. He is the only child of a single mum. His stepdad has been part of his life since he was about 3 years old. His stepdad used to (now retired) work in a different city so was only around on weekends and during holidays. His mum is loving and easy-going, and his stepdad and mum have a great relationship. However, despite his mum and stepdad getting along incredibly well, my partner always had a somewhat challenging relationship with his stepdad as he was never too keen to take on the father role and was rather strict. My parents on the other hand are emotionally very immature and there was plenty of emotional neglect and, at times, emotional abuse. Because of this I have issues classifying and understanding my emotions, asking for support, confidence and self-worth.
Because of my upbringing and because I absolutely love and adore my children, it is very important to me to be patient and take the gentle parenting approach whenever possible. Admittedly, this doesn’t always work out as I have my limits and the kids can be a handful. My partner on the other hand, albeit a very great and loving dad, is much stricter, works a lot with consequences and doesn’t tolerate unruly children. Personally, I have no problem if both parents follow a different strategy if it’s complimentary, which I thought our parenting is. My partner, however, thinks otherwise and told me that the challenges with our kids are because of my parenting style and because I don’t have them under control. They are great children and do exactly what I expect children their age would do at times: fight for independence, have toddler manners and tantrums, are terrible at listening after a long day of school and are naughty at times. For the longest time, I thought that our parenting styles align pretty nicely, now it’s a major issue for my partner that I have different opinions on how to treat our children.
Another issue that keeps popping are chores and me asking him to do certain things, while he wants to the things when he wants to do them, not when I ask him to. In his mind, I am giving him orders. In my mind, I simply want to share the workload and want to be able to rely on him. Some contexts. It’s important to me to share household and childcare chores and we follow a, more or less, 50/50 approach (mental workload is still mostly on me though). We are both working full time and because my role is more senior, I am earning a decent amount more than him. He, however, has assets from his parents. Sometimes when I see that X needs to be done and I am on my way out to get the kids, I ask him if he can do X. When I come home and still have to do it myself, I can’t help it but I am disappointed. I try to communicate my emotions clearly, which is a hit and miss on how it’s perceived. I learned that expressing my disappointment about him not doing X is a miss, as he considers this an attack and shoots back that he is frustrated and annoyed with me giving him orders and then being disappointed in him.
And now the good old physical connection. We never had the most elaborate sex life. Pretty vanilla and never the amount he would have liked. Due to my upbringing, I don’t need physical touch to feel well (I love hugging my children though and do it often). Since I rarely got affection growing up, a bit of hugging goes a long way for me, and I don’t tend to crave it. In contrast, he likes hand holding, touching, hugging etc. In the past, our therapist suggested that I simply initiate a hug once a day, which worked for quite a while. Fast forward, busy lives combined with plenty of sick days for most of the fall and winter, there wasn’t a lot of physical connection between us. However, what bugs me is that he complains that he misses it but rarely initiates. I don’t understand. I never turn down a hug and it’s usually me who asks for sex.
Overall, he is a great person and partner, and fantastic dad with his own issues that he doesn’t seem to be fully aware of. Even though he appears very confident, he isn’t. He is constantly seeking praise and confirmation, and often thinks that the ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. He rarely sees the error in himself and thinks that his way is the right way. He is also almost obsessed with being happy. Therefore, he can’t handle when I am a little down and tells me I am bipolar. I have moody spells when I am getting my period and lately work has thrown me some curveballs. But overall, I feel I am in decent mental shape most of the time, especially considering that I broke off the contact my parents about 10 months ago and I am working through some childhood trauma. I am proud of the discoveries and progress I’ve made. For him, it’s not good enough. He doesn’t like thoughtful me that isn’t smiling all the time with sun shining out of my ass.
Somebody saying or implying that I am not good enough or not meet their expectations is a bit of a trigger for me (which he knows), as my mother constantly criticized me for all sort of stuff.
He smokes a decent amount of grass, because it is helping him relax and be more chill with the kids. I wonder if this has changed his perception, memory for sure and contributes to overinterpreting certain things.
All I really want is not to be put down and compared to my mother, and being accepted by my partner for the person I am, with all the good and the bad.
Is there hope? I would miss our family terribly and hate that our children would get their first emotional scar.

Heads up: this is long and I don’t know what I am asking. Maybe writing this down was some sort of therapy or at least a way to get some of my thoughts in order. I am always appreciative of some perspective.
So, the scary and ugly words that may define the end of a relationship era have been said…”Maybe we should just call it quits then”. I am very sad for the kids and our family and mostly worry about how we should tell this to our older kid (6). This will be devastating for them.
Some context: My partner (M38) and I (F43) are together for 12 years, not married, two young children (6 & 2). We both work full-time, have a house and lead a fairly average and busy life. We don’t live in our home country, which we left 12 years ago, and have been living abroad ever since (different countries). So, we’ve been through a lot together and had plenty of good and some challenging times. Also, we don’t have any family support in the country we call home now.
Our challenges started a while ago, got better for a long time (we decided to buy a house and had a second child that is now 2) and now we are back to bad. This was seriously creeping up on me and I am very confused about the overall up and down of my partner perceiving our relationship as good or bad. I am a fighter and tend to want to work on things as I don’t assume it will be easy breezy without putting in the effort. He, I don’t know, may be done putting any effort into the relationship or is not willing to put the right amount in, as he hopes to get away with little to no fighting.
Going back to the beginning of the pandemic, about 2 years after the birth of our older child, he told me he wants to leave me as he didn’t think that our relationship was good or loving enough and he couldn’t take it anymore. We decided to do couples counselling and worked, amongst others, on our communication, which appeared to be an issue. Our relationship improved and I started working on some personal challenges that stem from my childhood.
Our upbringing was quite different. He is the only child of a single mum. His stepdad has been part of his life since he was about 3 years old. His stepdad used to (now retired) work in a different city so was only around on weekends and during holidays. His mum is loving and easy-going, and his stepdad and mum have a great relationship. However, despite his mum and stepdad getting along incredibly well, my partner always had a somewhat challenging relationship with his stepdad as he was never too keen to take on the father role and was rather strict. My parents on the other hand are emotionally very immature and there was plenty of emotional neglect and, at times, emotional abuse. Because of this I have issues classifying and understanding my emotions, asking for support, confidence and self-worth.
Because of my upbringing and because I absolutely love and adore my children, it is very important to me to be patient and take the gentle parenting approach whenever possible. Admittedly, this doesn’t always work out as I have my limits and the kids can be a handful. My partner on the other hand, albeit a very great and loving dad, is much stricter, works a lot with consequences and doesn’t tolerate unruly children. Personally, I have no problem if both parents follow a different strategy if it’s complimentary, which I thought our parenting is. My partner, however, thinks otherwise and told me that the challenges with our kids are because of my parenting style and because I don’t have them under control. They are great children and do exactly what I expect children their age would do at times: fight for independence, have toddler manners and tantrums, are terrible at listening after a long day of school and are naughty at times. For the longest time, I thought that our parenting styles align pretty nicely, now it’s a major issue for my partner that I have different opinions on how to treat our children.
Another issue that keeps popping are chores and me asking him to do certain things, while he wants to the things when he wants to do them, not when I ask him to. In his mind, I am giving him orders. In my mind, I simply want to share the workload and want to be able to rely on him. Some contexts. It’s important to me to share household and childcare chores and we follow a, more or less, 50/50 approach (mental workload is still mostly on me though). We are both working full time and because my role is more senior, I am earning a decent amount more than him. He, however, has assets from his parents. Sometimes when I see that X needs to be done and I am on my way out to get the kids, I ask him if he can do X. When I come home and still have to do it myself, I can’t help it but I am disappointed. I try to communicate my emotions clearly, which is a hit and miss on how it’s perceived. I learned that expressing my disappointment about him not doing X is a miss, as he considers this an attack and shoots back that he is frustrated and annoyed with me giving him orders and then being disappointed in him.
And now the good old physical connection. We never had the most elaborate sex life. Pretty vanilla and never the amount he would have liked. Due to my upbringing, I don’t need physical touch to feel well (I love hugging my children though and do it often). Since I rarely got affection growing up, a bit of hugging goes a long way for me, and I don’t tend to crave it. In contrast, he likes hand holding, touching, hugging etc. In the past, our therapist suggested that I simply initiate a hug once a day, which worked for quite a while. Fast forward, busy lives combined with plenty of sick days for most of the fall and winter, there wasn’t a lot of physical connection between us. However, what bugs me is that he complains that he misses it but rarely initiates. I don’t understand. I never turn down a hug and it’s usually me who asks for sex.
Overall, he is a great person and partner, and fantastic dad with his own issues that he doesn’t seem to be fully aware of. Even though he appears very confident, he isn’t. He is constantly seeking praise and confirmation, and often thinks that the ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. He rarely sees the error in himself and thinks that his way is the right way. He is also almost obsessed with being happy. Therefore, he can’t handle when I am a little down and tells me I am bipolar. I have moody spells when I am getting my period and lately work has thrown me some curveballs. But overall, I feel I am in decent mental shape most of the time, especially considering that I broke off the contact my parents about 10 months ago and I am working through some childhood trauma. I am proud of the discoveries and progress I’ve made. For him, it’s not good enough. He doesn’t like thoughtful me that isn’t smiling all the time with sun shining out of my ass.
Somebody saying or implying that I am not good enough or not meet their expectations is a bit of a trigger for me ( which he knows), as my mother constantly criticized me for all sort of stuff.
He smokes a decent amount of grass, because it is helping him relax and be more chill with the kids. I wonder if this has changed his perception, memory for sure and contributes to overinterpreting certain things.
All I really want is not to be put down and compared to my mother, and being accepted by my partner for the person I am, with all the good and the bad.
I thought we have a beautiful family and amazing kids. I worry about how to tell my kids and how to handle this moving forward. Is there hope?

edit: let's try this again I messed up the title on the first try sorry for the confusion!
70's Alt Rock -King Crimson-Lark's Tongue In Aspic
80's Alt Rock - Talking Heads-Remain In Light
90's Alt Rock- Nirvana- Never mind
2000's Alt Rock-The Strokes-Is This It
2010's Alt Rock Tame Impala-Lonerism
Alt Country -Wilco-Summerteeth
Alt Hip Hop-MF Doom- Mad villainy
Art Rock-Dark Side Of The Moon-Pink Floyd
Brit Rock- The Clash- London Calling
College Rock-REM-Murmur
Emo Rock-My Chemical Romance-Welcome To The Black Parade
Experimental Rock-Swans-To Be Kind
Goth-The Cure Disintegration
Grunge- Soundgarden-Superunknown
Hardcore Punk- Black Flag- Damaged
Heavy Metal-Black Sabbath-Paranoid
60's Hard Rock-Led Zeppelin I
70's Hard rock-Led Zeppelin-Physical Graffiti
80's Hard Rock- AC/DC-Back In Black
90's Hard Rock-Nirvana-In Utero
2000's Hard Rock-Queens Of The Stone Age-Songs For The Deaf
2010's ˙Hard Rock- Tool-Fear Inoculum
Indie Rock-Joy Division-Unknown Pleasures
Indie Folk-Big Thief-Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You
Lo-Fi-Neutral Milk Hotel-In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
New Wave-Elvis Costello-This Year's Model
Progressive Rock- Tool- Lateralus
Punk- Ramones-Rocket To Russia
pop punk-Green Day-Dookie
Post Punk- Wire- Pink Flag
Shoegaze-My Bloody Valentine-Loveless
Blues-Nina Simone-Sings The Blues
Blues Rock-The Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers
Avant Garde- Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band-Trout Mask Replica
Baroque Pop-The Beach Boys-Pet Sounds
Symphonic Rock-Moody Blues-Days Of Future Past
Comedy/Novelty album-Adam Sandler-They're All Gonna Laugh At You
Stand Up Comedy-George Carlin-Back In Town
Americana-The Band-The Band
Bakersfield Sound-Buck Owens-Best Of Buck Owens
Bluegrass-Old & In The Way-That High Lonesome Sound
Outlaw Country-Willie Nelson-Redheaded Stranger
Classic Country-Johnny Cash-Live At Folsom Prison
Country Rock- The Flying Burrito Brothers-The Gilded Palace Of Sin
Dance/Club-LCD Soundsystem- This Is Happening
Christmas /Holiday Album-Vince Gauralidi-A Charlie Brown Christmas
EMD/Techno-Burial-Untrue
Ambient-Brian Eno-Music For Airports
Electronic Rock-Radiohead-Kid A
Space Rock- Spiritualized- Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space
Synthpop-Depeche Mode-Violator
Synthrock- New Order-Power, Corruption and Lies
Industrial-Nine Inch Nails-The Downward Spiral
Krautrock- Can-Tago Mago
Folk-Bob Dylan-The Freewillin' Bob Dylan
Folk Rock-Bob Dylan-Blood On The Tracks
Southern Rock-The Allman Brothers Band-At Fillmore East
80's Hip Hop-The Beastie Boys-Paul's Boutique
90's- Hip Hop Wu-Tang Clan-Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
2000's Hip Hop-Outkast- Stankonia
2010's Hip Hop-Kendrick Lamar-To Pimp A Butterfly
2020's Hip Hop-Run The Jewels-RTJ 4
East Coast Hip Hop- Nas- Illmatic
West Coast Hip Hop-NWA-Straight Outta Compton
Southern Hip Hop-Outkast -Aquemini
Midwest Album-Kanye West-My Dark Twisted Fantasy
Trap-Travis Sott-Rodeo
Instrumental Hip Hop- DJ Shadow- Endtroducing....
Indie Pop-Belle And Sebastian-If You're Feeling Sinister
Noise Rock-Sonic Youth-Daydream Nation
Post-rock- Godspeed! You Black Emperor-Lift Your Skinny Fist Like Antennas To Heaven
Acid Jazz- Medeski ,Martin, and Wood -Shack-Man
Trip Hop -Portishead- Dummy
Gospel -Aretha Franklin-Amazing Grace
Christian- Sufjan Stevens -Illnoise
Jazz-Miles Davis-Kind Of Blue
Avant Garde Jazz-Ornette Coleman-Shape To Jazz To Come
Swing/Bebop-Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers-Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers w/Thelonious Monk
Jazz/Fusion-Miles Davis-In A Silent Way
Jazz Rock-Miles Davis-Bitches Brew
Jazz/Funk-Herbie Hancock-Head Hunters
Jazz/Rap-A tribe Called Quest-The Low End Theory
Latin- Los Lobos-Kiko
Speed Metal/Thrash- Metallica- Master Of Puppets
Black/Death Metal-Deafheaven-Sunbather
Symphonic Metal-Haken-The Mountain
Glam Rock -T.Rex-Electric Warrior
Hair Metal-Guns N Roses-Appetite For Destruction
New Wave Of British Heavy Metal-Iron Maiden- Number Of The Beast
Sludge-Electric Wizard- Dopethron
Nu Metal-Korn-Korn
New Age-Popol Vuh - Hosianna Mantra
Pop-Prince-Sign O' The Times
60's Pop- The Beatles-Revolver
70's Pop- Carole King-Tapestry
80's Pop- Peter Gabriel-So
90's Pop-Madonna-Ray Of Light
2000's Pop-Madonna-Confessions On A Dance Floor
2010's pop-Robyn-Body Talk
2020's Pop- Perfume Genius-Set My Heart On Fire
Adult Contemporary- Billy Joel-The Stranger
Europop- ABBA- Arrival
Latin Pop-Ruben Y Seis Del Solar-Buscando America
Dance Pop-Dee-Lite-World Clique
Dream Pop- Mazzy Star-So Tonight I Might See
Power Pop- Weezer-Blue Album
R&B- Marvin Gaye-What's Going On
60's R&B-Aretha Franklin-I Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You
70's R&B- Stevie Wonder- Songs In The Key Of Life
80's R&B- Janet Jackson- Control
90's R&B Album- Lauryn Hill-The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
2000's R&B- D'Angelo-Voodoo
2010's-R&B-Beyonce-Lemonade
2020's R&B- SZA-SOS
Disco-Donna Summers-Bad Girls
Doo Wop- The Chantels- We Are The Chantels
Funk-Funkadelic-Maggot Brain
Motown- Marvin Gaye-Let's Get It On
Neo-Soul-Erykah Badu-Baduizm
Psychedelic Soul- Curtis Mayfield-Curtis
Soul-Aretha Franklin-Lady Soul
Reggae-Bob Marley- Exodus
Ska-The Specials-The Specials
Swing Revival-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Rock N Roll-The Rolling Stones-Exile On Main Street
Acid Rock- Jimi Hendrix- Are You Experienced
Arena Rock-Boston-Boston
Cock Rock-Van Halen I
Math Rock-Slint-Spiderland
Stoner Rock-Kyuss-Welcome To Sky Valley
Jam Band- Grateful Dead-American Beauty
SingeSongwriter- Neil Young-Harvest
Surf Rock-The Beach Boys-Shut Down Vol II
Soft Rock/Yacht Rock-Steely Dan-Aja
Movie Soundtrack-Singles

BLUF

• Play style: MILSIM
• Times: Global
• Alignment: UEE/Lawful
• Age: 18+
• Discord: Join Here

Blackhawk Defense Force

Are you ready to embark on an epic journey among the stars? Look no further than the Blackhawk Defense Force. We are an UEE-aligned organization that has a welcoming community. Whether you’re brand new to the verse or a veteran, we have a place for you amongst our ranks.

Our Vision

We strive for excellence in competitive play through training with the goal of protecting the UEE from any opposition they may face.

About Us

Our operations cater globally. We have 3 Defense Fleets (DF) catering to pilots:

• 1DF: for our members from the Americas
  
• 2DF: for our members from Europe and Africa
  
• 3DF: for our members from Oceania and Asia
  

Each Division has 4 departments

• Battle Group: These members are fearless. Operating and maintaining Capital and sub capital ships to bring us to new worlds with a mighty force!
  
• Air Group: These members have to have nerves of steel. Flying fighters and manning gunships to deliver a fast and unstoppable Air and Space force.
  
• Marines: The Marine only does 3 things and they are masters of their craft. 1) Kill all who oppose the organization, no matter the enemy or environment. 2) Control any war domain with the great lethality. 3) Choose the best flavor of Crayola. Don’t mess with the Marine.
  
• Logistics: The life-blood of the organization. These members are the reason the other 3 departments can succeed. Through rearming battle cruisers, giving marines their gear and crayons, construction of FOBs, and gathering of materials for research and development
  

What we offer

MILSIM:

We offer a Military Simulation (MILSIM) experience by offering rank progression, training, awards and decorations, strategic planning with tactical movements, and organizational structure.

Active Community:

Engage with like-minded citizens who share your passion for exploration and adventure. Our community is active, supportive, and always ready for action.

Weekly Events:

Dive into the action with our regularly scheduled events. Whether it's a thrilling space race, a cooperative mission, or a friendly meet-and-greet, there's always something happening in the Blackhawk Defense Force.

How to Join

Ready to don the Blackhawk insignia and take to the stars? Visit our organization page on the RSI website and hit that 'Join' button. Our recruitment officers are standing by to welcome you. Fly high, fly proud!
Active Community: Engage with like-minded citizens who share your passion for exploration and adventure. Our community is active, supportive, and always ready for action.
**PvP Training/Events: We frequently “Practice like we play” for PvP. Be either in world events like Jump Town, scheduled org vs org, or non-schedule in game scenarios, we stand at the ready to defend the UEE against players who jeopardize their wellbeing.
Weekly Events: Dive into the action with our regularly scheduled events. Whether it's a thrilling space race, a cooperative mission, or a friendly meet-and-greet, there's always something happening in the Blackhawk Defense Force.

How to Join

Ready to don the Blackhawk insignia and take to the stars? Visit our organization page on the RSI website and hit that 'Join' button. Our recruitment officers are standing by to welcome you. Fly high, fly proud!

Hi. I'm not even sure why I'm posting, other than looking for solidarity and support from people who understand. I have a skin condition called sebaceous hyperplasia, which is when your sebaceous glands are overly active and become permanently enlarged. No topical prevents this, and the condition is progressive as a person ages.
I had heard of a non-ablative laser called Smoothbeam that is effective at treating SH and discussed it with a physician assistant at a reputable dermatology practice. She agreed it was appropriate and I set up a consultation with an experienced technician in the same practice, because they had this laser there on-site.
I was treated about six weeks ago and ended up with horrible blistering that I assume will scar (atrophic/indentations). The remaining pigmentation is very dark -- I realize a month and a half is not very long in terms of healing, but this is consuming me and I do not recognize the person in the mirror, and I am not optimistic I will ever be the same.
The blistering started the morning after and I contacted the practice immediately with photos. They said it was fine and I should use Aquaphor. After the blisters healed over and still looked bad, I contacted them again, and they said to start using tretinoin for cell turnover.
I have since been back in person and they have agreed my reaction is rare and that the aesthetician should have done a test spot before proceeding.
Again, I guess I don't really have any questions. I know this is a game of time, patience, and acceptance. I am just so sad and obviously putting some of the blame on myself, even though I had no knowledge this could happen.
Thanks for your support and I wish you all the best.

mother. That sounds so dramatic, but I really don't have any ambitions, and although I have a career- I hate it and am resentful of it, bc I choose it for all the wrong reasons.
Dealing with my biological clock is one of the hardest things I have dealt with. It is hard in and of itself- everyday I feel forced to navigate a life I didn't want, while watching the life i did want slip out of my hands. And then there is another layer- that I have to deal with this silently. I do talk about it with my friends and family, therapist, but at the end of the day, how much is there to say? I don't want to bombard people with my constant depression nor do I want to sit around lamenting about it over dinner. Instead I just have to suffer silently. Even at work- a place where you would think i would get a little reprieve from these thoughts- they throw baby showers for my colleagues... I can't escape this, but also I can't really talk about it.
There was a time I used to placate myself by saying I would have/adopt a baby by myself at 40 if it didn't work out otherwise. But now that I am approaching 40 I am slapped with reality- that this is just not feasible. I can't afford to have a baby myself.. its almost comical to think at one time I soothed myself with this. How would I pay for child care alone? My parents are in their 70's, I can't expect them to help like i could have had I had a baby a decade ago.
My parents aging adds another layer to this, because I am just so sad that I actually may end up living a life where I don't have my own family, once my parents pass away. I am not suicidal, but honestly when I think of that, I do really wonder how I can continue on.
Its just all so sad to me and I spend my days going in and out of tears. I haven't actually worked in weeks, bc I am just so sad. I just can't believe this is my life.

Age: 35 Sex: female Height: 5'4" Weight: 230lb Race: White Primary Complaint: concerns of pneumonia During: 3 days No existing medical issues Adderall 30mg and Sertraline 100mg daily Occasional drinker Non smoker No recreational drug use I have not been outside of the country recently
Sunday, on mothers day, I started to feel malaise. Throat hurt too, fever started around 8pm. Continued into Monday, I was convinced it was viral as my kids just had gotten over a throat infection (herpangina) and I thought it was probably that. On and off all day Monday I was fevering with a sore throat. I decided to get a good look at my throat and behind one of my tonsils I saw white patches, so Tuesday morning I went to med express. They swabbed me, positive for strep throat and prescribed augmentin. My kids were swabbed last week but negative for strep. My issue is, I’m worried I waited too long and it’s progressed into something uglier? My lungs apparently sounded fine yesterday and oxygen levels were good at the doctors but I am finding it hard to breathe in deep and it hurts. My chest and back mainly, I can’t tell if its muscular as I also have an intense and productive cough. It’s worse when I lay down. I’m getting sweaty easily too. No fever though. Does this sound like pneumonia?

Are you someone that just wants to have someone who can listen to you, someone that is there for you at the end of the day and just free of fear of being judged and just be yourself?
Me too.
I realized that I rather date someone who is more similar to me than someone who is a bit opposite. I just think that it creates a more understanding and calm environment for both parties.
Just a short introduction about me
-I'm currently a full time post graduate student taking up psychology.
-I'm into sports, psych books and right now video games.
-In terms of looks, Id say I'm pretty average looking, and I stand 167 cm, and wear glasses.
-A homebody who spends time either in school, training or at home.
-I really value being caring, consistent, and communication in a relationship! I think those things make or break a relationship.

• I have an anxious attachment, that's why I tend to overthink and get anxious in relationships., although I think I made progress towards being a secure person.

About you:
Same or similar interests as me, values the same things as me, anxious or secure, hopefully someone in the same field as me or in the medicine field.
Looks wise, someone who is same with my height or taller, same age or older too.

Are you someone that just wants to have someone who can listen to you, someone that is there for you at the end of the day and just free of fear of being judged and just be yourself?
Me too.
I realized that I rather date someone who is more similar to me than someone who is a bit opposite. I just think that it creates a more understanding and calm environment for both parties.
Just a short introduction about me
-I'm currently a full time post graduate student taking up psychology.
-I'm into sports, psych books and right now video games.
-In terms of looks, Id say I'm pretty average looking, and I stand 167 cm, and wear glasses.
-A homebody who spends time either in school, training or at home.
-I really value being caring, consistent, and communication in a relationship! I think those things make or break a relationship.

• I have an anxious attachment, that's why I tend to overthink and get anxious in relationships., although I think I made progress towards being a secure person.

-From Manila
About you:
Same or similar interests as me, values the same things as me, anxious or secure, hopefully someone in the same field as me or in the medicine field.
Looks wise, someone who is same with my height or taller, same age or older too.
From Manila or nearby cities

A build for 5th edition Dungeons & Dragons
Fred Dukes, a.k.a. The Blob, is grotesquely obese and unusually tall. He started notoriety as a circus freak and strongman, demonstrating his amazing ability to remain unmovable no matter what tried to push him. Both Xavier and Magneto observed that this was his mutant power and tried inviting him in, but Blob's outlook as a bully and an opportunist guided him straight to villainy among the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.
Aside from his immense strength, his mutant gift is to create a super-dense personal center of gravity, rendering him impossible to move from his concentrated spot by anything other than the mightiest feats and characters in Marvel Comics history. Colossus is unable to make him budge, but he has lifted up the ground Blob was standing on, a loophole to his immovability power. He is also superhumanly tough; his thick, blubbery hide ignores damage from gunfire and even Wolverine's claws, though he has no special protection against attacks on his mind or senses.
Blob:
15/15/15/8/8/8, all physical with nothing at all upstairs
Loxodon is used for race to be big and fat; custom lineage for a starting feat

• +2 strength from custom lineage
• Fighting Initiate for Unarmed Fighting Style, gaining 1d8 unarmed strikes with his fists or his weight
• Athletics proficiency from race
• Acrobatics and Performance from the Gladiator background, calling back to your circus days
• Perception and Intimidation from Barbarian

Barbarian:
1:

• Rage: activate as a bonus action to gain a rage damage bonus, resist all physical damage, and have advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws. Lasts 1 minute unless ended early either voluntarily, for not being damaged or attacking for a full round, or by being knocked unconscious. You start with 2 uses of this per long rest, and a rage damage bonus of 2
• Unarmored Defense: have an AC of 10+Dex+Con mods while unarmored

2:

• Reckless Attack: be hit with advantage for a round to have advantage with your attacks
• Danger Sense: you have dex save adv to effects you can see

3:

• Totem subclass: choose an animal aspect to gain an additional trait to your rages. Here I choose Tiger for 3 feet added to jumps, essential for big belly slams
• Primal Knowledge:gain skill proficiency in Survival
• Rage uses per long rest increases to 3

4:

• ASI: take the Athlete feat
  • Gain +1 strength, now 18
  • Running jumps only cost 5 feet, so you need not leave an enemy’s reach
  • Standing from prone only costs 5 feet, so you can drop on an enemy with fall damage and easily get back up

5:

• Extra Attack,
• Fast Movement: +10 speed

6:

• Select another animal totem for a trait that works even while not in rage: Here I choose Bear for double the lifting strength
• Rage uses per long rest increases to 4

7:

• Feral Instinct: initiative advantage, can’t be surprised if you rage
• Instinctive Pounce: half speed boost at start of rage

8:

• ASI: +1 Dex/+1 Con, now 16/16

9:

• Brutal Critical: add another 1d8 to crits
• Rage damage bonus increases to 3

10:

• Primal Knowledge: Animal Handling skill profic

11:

• Relentless Rage: con save to remain fighting below 0 hp, DC raises with each use until rest

12:

• ASI: +2 strength, now 20
• Rage uses per long rest increases to 5

13:

• Brutal Critical: add another 1d8 to crits

14:

• Select a final animal totem to gain another trait while raging: here I choose Elk totem for a bonus action attack that can also prone vs str save at a DC set by your strength. It’s another d12+str of damage every round that can bypass high ACs and is great for causing prone to things with a high grapple contest or high Dex save.

15:

• Persistent Rage: rages don’t end early unless you fall unconscious

16:

• ASI: +2 Con, now 18
• Rage damage bonus increases to 4

17:

• Brutal Critical: add another 1d8 to crits
• Rage uses per long rest increases to 6

18:

• Indomitable Might: your str score (20) is your minimum result of any strength checks

19:

• ASI: +2 Con, now 20

20:

• Primal Champion: you now have 24s in str and con
• Rages are now resource-free with unlimited uses

Magic Items Wishlist:

• +1/2/3 Wraps of Unarmed Prowess: further add to unarmed damage and make it magical as you progress
• Bracers of Defense: +2 AC with your yellow wristbands
• Boots of Striding and Springing: turn that 10’ jump into a 30’ jump; Fast Movement at level 5 gives you just enough speed to do this and still be able to stand from prone. You also don’t slow down from encumbrance, making you able to comfortably lift and drag over a thousand pounds.
• Immovable Rod: hide this under your belt and activate it to become nigh immovable
• Orb of the Stein Rune:
  • Indomitable Stand: As an action, you can channel the orb's magic to hold your ground. For the next minute or until you move any distance, you have advantage on all checks and saving throws to resist effects that force you to move. In addition, any enemy that moves to a space within 10 feet of you must succeed on a DC 12 Strength saving throw or be unable to move any farther this turn.

Tactics:
The Athlete feat enables Blob to make a running high jump with only 5’ movement, short enough to not leave the reach of his opponent and incur OA. A running high jump equals 3+strength mod of feet vertically; at level 4 he has 18 strength, so a strength mod of +4. Tiger totem provides another 3 feet while raging, getting his running high jump to 10 feet, so starting at level 4 he is able to leap up and fall back into a medium creature’s space.
Tasha’s provides us with rules on landing on another creature. When falling into a creature’s space, they have to make a dc 15 dex save or split any fall damage and you both fall prone. Barb rage resists fall damage and Athlete allows you to stand from prone with just 5’ movement, so you easily handle both effects, but your opponents won’t be so lucky.
Using just your movement speed, you can land in the borders overlapping the grid squares on a battlemap to potentially prone more than one creature; you’re the height and width of a loxodon, so even though your size category is medium, you can belly flop parallel to the earth to cover a lot more area. Anywhere between one and four enemies can fall prone beneath you and all it took was 20’ movement, with your actions and bonus action all still available.
From there you can easily grapple your proned targets to keep them stuck under your girth or unarmed strike them with advantage without needing to use Reckless. For fun, I advise flavoring the total unarmed damage as a part of the huge belly slam’s impact; unarmed strikes need not be with just your hands after all.
With Magneto on your side, he can use graviturgy magic to double your weight and use his reaction to increase your fall damage by 2d10 to better share it to those you land on.
The X-Men in 5th ed D&D Full Build List

I’m sad as I know this disease has no cure. She has mild thickening of her heart muscle. But no other symptoms. They want to re-evaluate in 6 months.
I was hoping someone could give me an idea as to how long she might live for?
What percentage of these cases progress rapidly vs don’t progress much at all?
Please help
• ⁠Species: Cat • ⁠Age: 1 • ⁠Sex/Neuter status: F and yes • ⁠Breed: American shorthair • ⁠Body weight: 8 lbs • ⁠History: n/a • ⁠Clinical signs: slight murmur • ⁠Duration: 7 months • ⁠Your general location: NH

Part 14.3

Heracles VS Lernaean Hydra

Author Note: I was thinking about it and I really wish that GT9 used more draconic symbolism throughout the story when (or if) I revisit Team Crowley VS Rosencreutz I'll have symbolism of Aleister (TheBeast666), Aiwass (Codename: DRAGON) and Coronzon (The Dragon of the Abyss) all have symbology of them being Dragons preying on a God/Hero like CRC and the reversed conflict of Chaos VS Order you see in mythology, I also wanted to achieve something similar with Kakine Teitoku as he can represent the Fallen Angel and the Seraphim but for now I'll try adding draconian symbolism into Gunha VS CRC.
True Expert Christian Rosencreutz, with his golden rosy cross sword, clashed relentlessly against the indomitable force of the Strongest Gemstone, Sogiita Gunha. With each clash of their powers, the air crackled and compressed, and the pavement trembled beneath.
CRC, observed Sogiita with a mixture of intrigue and disdain. "You fight like the legendary Heracles," he remarked, his voice carrying over the din of battle. "But know this, I am the Lernaean Hydra, and no matter how many heads you sever, I shall always rise again!" Rosencreutz roared to slice the #7’s midsection.
Sogiita, his entire body wreathed in unknowable energy, met CRC's blade unyielding. "Bring it on, old man!" he retorted, his voice brimming with confidence. "I'll knock you down as many times as it takes! I won't stop till you come to your senses and remember your roots, like the roses you love so much, Rosencreutz!!"
Their clash intensified, that old man’s higher dimensional sword colliding with the raw power of that boy’s fists and kicks as they pushed each other to their limits with each sword swing, punch, kick and flash.
Sogiita unleashed a barrage of punches, each strike carrying the force of a meteor, while that silver young man countered: he wielded his sword in his right hand and released impacts followed by white light that was enough to previously take down all of The Bridge Builders Cabal.
As the battle raged on, the very fabric of reality seemed to warp and shift around them, bearing witness to the titanic struggle between two unparalleled forces.
The founder of Rosicrucianism who intimidated reality itself to obey his will and that Gemstone with an unstable personal reality that could change on a whim.
The atmosphere crackled with electrifying distortion.
Sogiita's fists tore through the air with the ferocity of meteors, their velocity enhanced by his ability to adapt and accelerate, surpassing even CRC's speed. As each blow was released, the friction with the surrounding air molecules ignited a scorching heat, intensifying the impact.
The rapid movement of molecules generated an escalating thermal energy, causing the air to seethe with increasing temperature. It was akin to a tempest of incandescent projectiles hurtling towards CRC, their speed surpassing the limits of human perception.
It was like a storm of brilliant fiery arrows was fired at Rosencreutz.
These blazing arrows of force were reminiscent of the elusive strikes employed by the Rose & Cross Leader, ignoring distance with deceptive agility.
With each thunderous punch, that bandana boy sought to overpower his adversary through sheer kinetic force, his unwavering resolve palpable in every motion.
But that wasn't enough for this superhuman.
CRC, wielding his cross sword with precision and skill, deflected each and every one Sogiita's flaming arrows with calculated strikes of his own. Each impact unleashed a burst of blinding white light, sending shockwaves rippling through the chaotic city.
"You think brute strength alone will defeat me?" the silver man taunted, his voice cutting through the chaos of battle. "You may be strong, but strength without strategy is nothing but raw power wasted."
Sogiita grinned, his confidence unshaken. "Strategies for cowards who can't handle a real fight," he retorted, his voice ringing with defiance. "I'll K.O. you with my fists and guts alone!!!!"
Rosencreutz's eyes narrowed as he parried another of Sogiita's punches. "Your arrogance will be your downfall," he warned, his tone tinged with certainty. "I may not match your overall speed, but I have something you lack: intellect and precision.”
Christian Rosencreutz then plunged his cross sword into the ground.
"This is what harmed Kamijou Touma," he declared, grinning and unleashing a torrent of lethal invisible attacks from his outstretched palms.
However, the #7 countered with a relentless barrage of flaming arrows from the thermal aftershock of his punches.
Each strike akin to a particle accelerator in its intensity and speed. That Gemstone was the particles being fired on the right and that True Expert was the particles fired on the left.
As the attacks clashed, the battlefield became a spectacle of raw power and precision.
“Roar!” CRC held his open palm to his mouth and blew gently on the tip of the middle finger.
That was all it took for a blaze easily outdoing a flamethrower to rush out. And this was not just any fire. It fed on the power of a ley line and stole vitality from space itself. This overwhelming mass of light and heat was wielded for no other purpose than to take lives. Anyone who tried to survive it using simple composite armor or special fibers would dry up and burn away in less than a second.
But that wouldn't kill another superhuman would it?
Of course not.
“Aaaaarghhhh!!!!” screamed the #7.
Some assaults bypassed the fray entirely, slipping through the chaos like elusive particles in a collider.
A smokescreen.
Those brilliant fireworks from hell weren't meant to take Sogiita’s life. They were meant to disrupt the Gemstone's senses and sight so he couldn't counter all of that old man’s deadly attacks.
Invisible strikes found their mark on that Gemstone, and the searing arrows of the arrows scorched Rosencreutz.
CRC was wounded but he rejected to make any whimpers. Instead with a sudden burst of velocity, the young silver man picked up his cross sword from the ground and launched a flurry of strikes, cutting at the #7’s body with pinpoint accuracy.
His arms, his head, his face, his stomach, his legs, his midsection, his back.
Each blow landed with devastating force, causing Sogiita to stagger back under the onslaught.
If that bandana boy hadn't had his defenses and general stats raised by the #5 he’d be cut to pieces.
The #7 fell on his back.
"There's a fire," Sogiita declared, his voice ringing out amidst the chaos of battle.
With each attempt to break his spirit, Sogiita's resolve only grew stronger, fueling the flames of his determination. "Every time someone tries to make me give up, it's like wind feeding my flames, making them burn even brighter just like my punches," he explained, his words carrying the weight of his unwavering determination.
He refused to stay down.
With a roar of defiance, Sogiita surged forward once more, his movements blurring with speed as he disappeared from view. In the blink of an eye, he reappeared behind Christian Rosencreutz, catching the magician off guard.
"Hey, old man," Sogiita taunted, his voice filled with confidence as he seized Rosencreutz from behind.
Christian Rosencreutz's eyes widened in surprise as he realized he had been outmaneuvered.
As Sogiita Gunha faced off against Christian Rosencreutz in their airborne duel, he felt the flames of determination burning within him, driving him forward with unstoppable force.
Before he could react, the boy lifted him effortlessly and slammed him onto the pavement below with a resounding thud.
"I'm not just a kick-boxer!!" Sogiita sang.
As the impact reverberated through the air, the young silver man let out a pained cry. The force of the collision compressed the surrounding air, heating it up until it crackled with energy. Christian Rosencreutz's head struck the ground with a velocity equivalent to mach 20, igniting his body in flames upon impact.
This move is called a suplex.
Struggling to regain his bearings, Rosencreutz muttered in a daze, "The House of the Holy Spirit...the seven walls..."
"You said it yourself, didn't you?" the gutsy boy retorted, cocky. "My power and my guts can break through your impenetrable walls. And I can spread those same guts to the world around me."
With a grimace, Christian Rosencreutz acknowledged the truth of the boy's words. "Your uncontrolled AIM field grants you the ability to imbue non-organic objects with the properties of your virus," he observed, his voice tinged with begrudging admiration. "Allowing them to bypass even the defenses of the seven-walled tomb.”
"A virus? Don't be so gutless, CRC," the #7 retorted, his voice filled with defiance. "This battleground ruled by wills is a two-way road between you and me."
Christian Rosencreutz raised an eyebrow at the boy's words. "Hey Gemstone, you could've killed me if I weren't a superhuman with an idealized body that accomplished The Great Work and crossed the Ungrund, what then short-stack?" he questioned while fitting an insult against his height.
Even without the seven-walled tomb or sheets of diamonds Rosencreutz was cartoonishly durable.
"Sorry, old man," Sogiita replied, his tone tinged with annoyance. "I might've gotten carried away, but I know it'll take more than that to kill you. No matter how many heads you regrow, like Hydra, I will not give up until I've completed all my labors."
"Mhm, so you do know your mythology," CRC remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "The Lernaean Hydra, or simply Hydra, is a serpentine lake monster in Greek and Roman mythology. Its lair was the lake of Lerna in the Argolid, known as an entrance to the Underworld. In the canonical myth, the monster is slain by Heracles as part of his Twelve Labors."
"Yeah, I know," Sogiita replied confidently. "I studied the tales of great gutsy heroes in school.”
"So, short-stack," Christian Rosencreutz began, his voice carrying a hint of scholarly interest. “Have you ever considered the parallels between our battle and ancient Near Eastern religions?”
Sogiita listened intently. "Are you saying you see yourself as a god of war or a hunter?" he inquired.
CRC chuckled softly. "In a sense, indeed. We are both assuming roles in this grand theater, are we not? I, the Hydra, and you, Heracles."
He continued, "Consider the Second Labor of Heracles. Eurystheus, the king of Tiryns, sent Heracles to slay the Hydra, which Hera had raised specifically to defeat him. Heracles approached the swamp near Lake Lerna, where the Hydra dwelled. To protect himself from the poisonous fumes, he covered his mouth and nose with a cloth and shot flaming arrows into the Hydra's lair, causing it to emerge and terrorize the surrounding villages."
CRC paused, drawing a comparison. “In our own clash, the flaming arrows that Heracles hurled at the Hydra find their echo in your lightning-fast fists, generating shockwaves that ignite the air with their speed and force. It's as though each strike of yours is akin to shooting a flaming arrow, much like Heracles did.”
“Huh? Are you suggesting we're caught in a time loop? That some enigmatic group, like the Bridge Builders Cabal, manipulated events to resurrect you, pitting us against each other in a timeless struggle? I've never met them, and I'm certainly no child of Zeus. Are you implying that our battle will be distorted into a Greek legend by a meddling time traveler?!” frantically asked the boy.
“No, no, you simpleton. This world contains synchronicities. In Sumerian, Babylonian, and Assyrian mythology, the war and hunting god Ninurta was celebrated for his deeds. The Angim credited him with slaying eleven monsters during an expedition to the mountains, including a seven-headed serpent, possibly identical to the Mushmahhu, and Bashmu, whose constellation was later associated with the Hydra by the Greeks. In Babylonian contexts, the Hydra's constellation is also linked to Marduk's dragon, the Mushhushshu.”
“Uhhh….” That shounen boy was dumbfounded.
"Hhm, I suppose calling it a time loop isn't technically wrong," Christian Rosencreutz began, his tone measured. "I'll break it down from history class and reconstruct it through the lens of the occult. Historic recurrence, young Gemstone, is the phenomenon of events echoing throughout time. Whether it's the rise and fall of empires or the repetitive cycles within a single society, it's all part of this grand plan that was decided when Adam ate the forbidden fruit."
The #7 with his guard up but curious listened: "So, history just keeps repeating itself? Just a series of coincidences?"
Christian Rosencreutz shook his head sagely. "There is no such thing as coincidences. Take, for instance, the Doctrine of Eternal Recurrence, pondered upon by thinkers like Heinrich Heine and Friedrich Nietzsche. While it's said that 'history repeats itself,' it's not quite that simple. Rather, these recurrences stem from identifiable circumstances and chains of causality."
He continued, his voice carrying the weight of centuries of philosophical debate. "Consider the phenomenon of multiple independent discoveries in science or the reproducible findings in natural and social sciences. These recurrences, whether in the form of rigorous experimentation or comparative research, are vital to our understanding of the world."
Christian Rosencreutz paused, allowing the weight of his words to sink in. "G.W. Trompf, in his seminal work, The Idea of Historical Recurrence in Western Thought, illustrates the recurring patterns of political thought and behavior since ancient times. Through these patterns, history offers us invaluable lessons, often leading to a sense of resonance or déjà vu."
Their words reverberated like a challenge to destiny itself, a testament to their unyielding determination in the face of adversity.
That Gemstone didn't surrender his characteristic fervor. "History echoing through time, huh? It's like the universe itself is stuck on repeat, and we're just caught in the cycle. But you know what? If history's gonna keep looping, then let's break the pattern! Let's smash through those chains of causality and forge our own path. Who cares about déjà vu? We'll create something entirely new, something that'll shake the very foundations of this world and we’ll do it with guts!!!" He defied that silver monster.
But Rosencreutz wasn't finished. He pulled out his Crystal World Map.
The supposedly old man listened intently to that boy's impassioned response, his expression inscrutable behind his clairvoyant card. After a moment of contemplation, he spoke.
“Gemstone, you speak of breaking free from the chains of repetition, of forging a new destiny against the backdrop of eternal return. It is a noble aspiration, indeed. However, consider this: eternal return is not merely a philosophical concept or a whimsical notion of fate. It is the very fabric of existence, woven into the nature of time itself.” He pressed his finger on the Miniature Garden and a 3D holographic projection flew out—
“In ancient times, the Stoics grappled with the idea, seeing in it both a sense of cosmic order and a challenge to individual agency. Augustine and others recoiled from its implications, fearing it as a negation of free will and salvation. And yet, Nietzsche, in his brilliance, dared to confront the concept anew, exploring its depths in the crucible of human consciousness.”
Didn't Aleister Crowley say that he had to shatter every single phase in order to eliminate the concept of fate?
“I will shatter every last phase and put an end to all mysticism. It can be helped and we need not restrain our tears and bite our lip when faced with tragedy. I will bring back the pure world in which everyone can feel anger like normal and question it all like normal!!”
And didn't Coronzon appear to break down all the phases including the Pure World?
Partial destruction would be meaningless. If anything remains and an eternal distortion is born from that, then it will all happen again. I will eliminate the ten spheres, the twenty-two pathways, and the hidden eleventh symbol. Collisions between phases? Sparks and spray? You cannot save anyone if you only treat those symptoms. All of the fundamental clogs must be removed. All so we can pass the baton to whoever comes next.”
“Sparks and Sprays…” Rosencreutz muttered.
“Eh?” The #7 didn't quite hear him.
"Beside time stands fate, cruelty's steadfast herald. In the silent chambers of the soul, whispers the most profound wisdom. Humanity, in its folly, neglected to exalt life's splendor, its radiance, its grandeur. Truly, it is a rare gift to comprehend the forces that shape our existence.” That magician spoke in despair.
“From the moment man ate the fruit of knowledge, he guaranteed your species’ failure... Entrusting his future to the whims of fate, man clutches to a flickering hope. Yet, within the Miniature Garden lies the key to all revelation. Beyond the well-trodden path lies the ultimate terminus. It matters not who you are; Death is the sole certainty awaiting all.” he finished with scorn.
Shokuhou Misaki was currently linked to Sogiita Gunha so was overhearing the entire conversation.
“Are you okay, Leader?” asked Kamijou back at the hospital.
“Yeah…” she responded.
“Really?” Mikoto breathed a white sigh. “It wasn’t the shock of seeing their school destroyed. Nor was it the fear of having those rioters attack. …They’re afraid of their own power. And after learning how exactly to use that power to survive, they’re not sure they can just switch it off and return to their normal lives. So their gears have ground to a halt.” Tokiwadai Middle School was a prestigious esper development school.
The young ladies registered there were Level 3 at the lowest and Level 5 at the highest.
Almost all of the students had a power that surpassed that of a blade or handgun if used properly, but something had become twisted.
Yes.
“A lot of them weren’t really sure why they were training their powers.”
Shokuhou breathed a white breath, wrapped her own arms around herself, and rubbed her thighs together.
Why are you studying?
How many people could give a proper answer to that question? Because my parents told me to, because my teachers taught me to, because that’s how the world works. Those would be most people’s answers. Even the students with a clear vision of their future would only have something vague like “for the entrance exams” or “for my future”.
Only a small handful would have specific puzzle pieces in mind, such as “I need to learn how to use this equation so I can build a rocket”.
The young ladies of Tokiwadai Middle School were the same.
What if the very gears that humans have…their actions, reactions, inactions were all the result of some transcendental entity hovering above.
Like God or The Devil watching over humanity’s reality sphere and ordering around his system like everyone was a pre-programmed NPC that had specific events occur to them to get them to develop in the way that they did and determined their genetic bloodline that composed their psyche?
Is there truly a free will?
It was said that in order for you to break out of the system of society that the working class was stuck in you had to climb to the top where the corrupt elites resided.
Imagine Breaker negated sparks, Aleister Crowley could see through the veil thanks to Holy Guardian Angel Aiwass, Great Demon Coronzon could always see the cogs.
Christian Rosencreutz could view the entire world through his Miniature Garden.
The rest of humanity was at the mercy of their own destinies.
A Guardian Angel wouldn't arrive to save a parent’s child from fate every single time.
"Okay, nice poetry, can we get back to fighting already?" asked the #7 impatiently.
"Seems I got carried away," the old man conceded with a nod. "The synchronicities of this world, akin to the astral configurations in astrology, serve as an example of synchronicity, according to Jung. It describes circumstances that appear meaningfully related yet lack a causal connection, much like the parallel relationship between celestial and terrestrial phenomena. Synchronicity experiences entail subjective encounters where coincidences between events in one's mind and the external world may lack a clear causal link but still harbor an unknown connection.”
"Ah," Sogiita chimed in, recalling his philosophy class discussions. "We talked about synchronicity back then. Jung thought it was a good thing for the mind, but said it could get dicey in psychosis. He cooked up this theory as a kind of mental link between those meaningful coincidences, calling it a noncausal principle. This term came about in the late 1920s, and then he teamed up with physicist Wolfgang Pauli to dive deeper. Their work, The Interpretation of Nature and the Psyche, dropped in 1952. They were big on this idea that these connections, even the ones that don't seem to have a cause, could still teach us a lot about how our minds and the world work."
“Mhm, you know more than you lead on, Gemstone.” pondered CRC.
“Oh this? My teachers say I'm not good at remembering speeches hahaha…” The #7 looked slightly nervous. “You know, analytical psychologists really push for folks to get what these experiences mean to boost their awareness instead of just feeding into superstitions. But funny thing is, when clients spill about their synchronicity experiences, they often feel like no one's really hearing them out, or getting where they're coming from. And hey, having a bunch of these meaningful coincidences flying around can sometimes ring the schizo bell. Delusions aren't healthy.”
Where was this conversation going?
"Delusion! Hah! That's a good one coming from you," CRC fired back.
"The real delusion is thinking humanity isn't worth a damn," Sogiita shot back, pulling out some info from Johansen and Osman. "Some scientists think coincidences are just random flukes, but counselors and psychoanalysts reckon there's more to it, like some deep-down stuff needing to come out.”
"Delusion! Hah! That's a good one coming from you," CRC fired back.
"The real delusion is thinking humanity isn't worth a darn," Sogiita shot back, pulling out some info from Johansen and Osman. "Some scientists think coincidences are just random flukes, but counselors and psychoanalysts reckon there's more to it, like some deep-down stuff needing to come out. Unconscious material to be expressed."
Rosencreutz interjected, his expression reflecting a mix of confusion and concern. "Aleister Crowley's actions have left a lasting scar on this world and this city," he began, his voice weighted with solemnity. “The vacuum-like dichotomy between magic and science created by the use of that colossal psychotronic weapon, has damaged this world's memory irreparably.”
Psychotronic weapon?
The Archetype Controller?
He paused, his gaze piercing as he continued, "Jung's exploration of synchronicity as evidence of the paranormal paved the way for further inquiry, notably by Koestler and the subsequent embrace of these ideas by the New Age movement.”
Sogiita shrugged, "Some folks say synchronicity is impossible to test or prove, so it gets labeled as pseudoscience. Jung even acknowledged that these synchronicity events are basically just coincidences, statistically speaking. But hey, who's to say what's really going on without some solid scientific studies, right?"
"Dubious as his experiments may have been," CRC interrupted, "Jung believed in a connection between synchronicity and the paranormal, drawing parallels to the uncertainty principle and works by parapsychologist Joseph B. Rhine.” CRC posed a thought-provoking question, "How are we to recognize acausal combinations of events, since it is obviously impossible to examine all chance happenings for their causality? The answer lies in the fact that acausal events are most readily expected where a causal connection appears inconceivable upon closer reflection. It's impossible, with our current resources, to explain ESP or meaningful coincidences as mere phenomena of energy. This challenges the very notion of cause and effect, as these events occur simultaneously rather than in a linear cause-and-effect manner. Hence, I have coined the term 'synchronicity' to describe this phenomenon, placing it on equal footing with causality as a principle of explanation."
Getting closer to that Gemstone, CRC emphasized, "Esper abilities cannot be fully understood with science alone. They defy traditional cause-and-effect explanations, instead representing a convergence of factors that create a quantum phenomenon affecting both the micro and macro. Why were there the naturally gifted and the naturally ungifted?”
Why did some students get praised for their abilities while others needed to work harder?
Others among them would have worked every hour of their free time and not progressed anywhere in this city’s leveling curriculum.
Why did this city present such an unfair and unpredictable status quo of potential?
Why did hard work barely matter in a city of empirical evidence to record any possible progress?
Sogiita Gunha wasn't a normal Level 5 but he wasn't always this powerful. He went through the curriculum same as everyone but if the outside conditions for his Gemstone ability to manifest didn't form in the exact way that it did, in such an acausal form then would he even be here to challenge Christian Rosencreutz right now?
Everything just happened to fall right into place.
All those puzzle pieces that would lead to this moment here and now.
Was it all just talent? God picking a fool as his champion?
The #7 leaned back, absorbing CRC's words with a thoughtful expression. "So, what you're saying is, there's this whole other layer to reality that we can't quite wrap our heads around," he summarized, nodding slowly. "I mean, it's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands—slippery and elusive."
He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "Historic recurrence, synchronicities, all these things—they're like pieces of a puzzle scattered across this substantial reality. And sometimes, they just... click into place, right? It's like the universe has its own plan, and we're just along for the ride."
That bandana wearing boy's gaze drifted, lost in thought. "You know, CRC, it's funny," he remarked, a wry smile playing on his lips. "Here we are, with all our powers and potential, but at the end of the day, we're still grappling with the same questions as everyone else. Talent, destiny, divine intervention—maybe they're all just different sides of the same coin."
He shrugged, the weight of the philosophical musings settling over the broken city. "Who knows? Maybe God does have a sense of humor, after all.” that boy chuckled.
There was a deep silence between them.
Rosencreutz’ response was swift and resolute, his tone filled with certainty. "All this ‘universe has a plan’ banter is just a distraction from the inevitable," he declared, his eyes narrowing. "We can debate the nature of us being all-powerful yet struggling with mortal issues until the sun burns out, but it won't change the fact that our fate was sealed upon the knowledge Adam learned."
“To think so many trivialities have developed while this old man wasn’t watching. Heh heh. Then I should assume the thread of fate has again begun to weave its strange connections between myself and some unknown human.”
He rose forward, his movements purposeful. "It's time to put an end to this dance of platitudes," CRC continued, his voice cold and unwavering. "We'll settle this the only way that somewhat matters—through objective action in this grand play."
“Silence, preserved doll. Illusionists are meant to remain silent. That is all we magicians are: wielders of substanceless illusions. Opening your mouth serves only to break the illusion.”
With a flicker of resolve in his eyes, he locked gazes with the #7. "I am Hydra, Gemstone," he said, his voice carrying a hint of challenge. "Our battle ends now.” CRC opened both his palms and began shooting at their surroundings, the buildings, the pavement, the apartments, the rubble.
It probably wasn't random as it seemed to create a pattern.
“Huh are you getting senile old man?” asked the young Gemstone.
“What fun. I never imagined someone would bother diligently polishing their skills this far while knowing it is all essentially an illusion. Didn’t you ever feel silly going to the effort?”
Rosencreutz dropped to all fours, his rosy cross sword gripped tightly in his right hand.
He moved—
“Arrgh!” Sogiita yelled amidst the relentless and precise and precise strikes from that golden cross. “Old man?” he asked.
That magician didn't say anything.
That silver man’s movements became more beastly.
Faster.
Stronger.
Fiercer.
Something new was beginning to manifest.
With each strike of his higher dimensional blade that old man’s blows seemed infused with an otherworldly energy.
The wounds inflicted by his weapon burned with a venomous intensity, sending searing pain coursing through Sogiita's body.
That boy grimaced as the poison from that silver man’s strikes surged through his being, each wound feeling like it was ablaze with venomous fire.
"Damn... That burns…like a killer hornet’s sting," he muttered through clenched teeth, his voice strained with effort. Gritting, he fought to maintain his focus, despite the agony threatening to overwhelm him.
Was this another application of The Four Stages? Citrinitas? No, there was nothing yellow here, it was more like a dirty purple.
But it wasn't just the physical damage that posed a threat.
As the Rosy Cross leader leaped on all fours his movements took on an almost erratic quality, he was bouncing from one building to another with an animalistic agility.
With each jump, a shockwave rippled through the air, carrying with it a palpable sense of dread.
Something was spreading.
The air around them seemed to thicken with a toxic miasma. The #7 struggled to breathe, the noxious fumes clouding his senses.
Like a chaotic monster’s venomous poison breath.
The once-clear air now felt thick and suffocating.
Gasping for breath, the bandana boy struggled to maintain his focus amidst the swirling chaos.
His vision blurred, his movements sluggish as he fought against the oppressive atmosphere.
Blinded that heroic boy could only fire a flame arrow without his sight.
His fists striking out with all the strength he could muster. Igniting in that poisonous compressed air.
It seemed to be flammable like a dragon’s breath.
???
At the hospital, Shokuhou's voice carried a mix of surprise and relief. “He caused real damage.” she exclaimed.
Kamijou turned his attention to her, intrigued. “What happened?”
“It's hard to see clearly, but it looks like the #7 managed to rip off CRC's left arm,” she explained. “Though, I'd say it was more of a lucky shot. I can read he acted on pure instinct.”
Kamijou nodded, a hint of melancholy in his tone. “Yeah... the psychic link and all.”
Had the #7 Level 5 given up on the old man?
Back on the battlefield, Sogiita cursed under his breath. “Dammit... Sorry, old man,” he muttered. “I was aiming to hit your whole body to maximize the surface area, maybe break a few bones as a casualty. We can probably get your arm reattached at the hospital. Heaven Canceller has enough guts to even fix me.”
It was clear—he hadn't given up.
It was an accidental strike of his arm.
“As each ghastly head was severed from its serpentine form, dreadfully, two more writhed forth from the abyss.” a cryptic voice amidst the chaos spoke.
Wasn't it said that the Hydra’s lair was the lake of Lerna in the Argolid.
Lerna was reputed to be an entrance to the Underworld.
The abyss.
The Ungrund.
There is no limit to the depth of the Alcyonian Lake, and I know of nobody who by any contrivance has been able to reach the bottom of it since not even Nero, who had ropes made several stades long and fastened them together, tying lead to them, and omitting nothing that might help his experiment, was able to discover any limit to its depth. This, too, I heard. The water of the lake is, to all appearance, calm and quiet but, although it is such to look at, every swimmer who ventures to cross it is dragged down, sucked into the depths, and swept away.
The keeper of the gate to the Underworld that lay in the waters of Lerna was the Hydra.
The serpentine Lake Monster.
“Rosencreutz……?” The #7 muttered.
That magician chuckled ominously. "Indeed, young Heracles," he intoned, his voice echoing with a bizarre resonance. “The Lernaean Hydra's curse is upon you now.” as he said that he ripped off a bit of his arm that was cuterarised and it began bleeding.
Anna Sprengel’s blood was said to create unknown miracles when spilled.
Christian Rosencreutz’ blood was so virulent that even its scent was deadly.
As Sogiita Gunha glanced at his severed arm lying on the ground, a creeping sense of horror enveloped him. "All fate is a curse and that curse," he murmured, his words barely audible over the din of battle, "extends even to my severed limb.”
Christian Rosencreutz’ left arm grew back.
No.
Two new arms grew in its place.
The arm was fully functioning with no defects.
Although one of the arms appeared somewhat scaly and lanky like a serpent.
It had human anatomy but something was abnormal here.
He almost looked like a spider as he emerged from the poisonous fog as he remained on all fours.
“So short-stack. Are you ready to complete your final labor: Crossing the abyss!!!” He challenged that boy with his cross sword facing him.
"Boss, what's up? You look kinda stuck," Kamijou asked, his tone concerned.
Two students were sitting together in the waiting room at a hospital.
"—abyss, Hydra, curse, synchronicities, Historic recurrence." she replied, her words carrying a weight of unease.
"Huh? What? Can you give me the lowdown?" Kamijou prodded, his urgency evident.
"Can't quite wrap my head around it. But what I can tell you is that after CRC started talking about these esoteric concepts, he leveled up his power ability, managed to seriously hurt the #7 despite me cranking up all his stats for the win condition," the honey-blonde girl explained, frustration creeping into her voice.
"Can you beam all that stuff into my head, like a memory download? You're a psychological esper, right? My right hand won't mess with it, and we've done the telepathy thing before," Kamijou suggested.
"Memory download's not quite it, but I can send you a recording," she clarified.
"Got it," Kamijou muttered as he absorbed the info.
"You got any ideas to help the #7’s situation ability, Kamijou-san? We're kinda desperate here," she asked.
"I wish Index was still here, dammit.” he lamented, “But you know about magic, right?" he queried.
"Yeah, people converting their delusions into reality right?," she admitted.
"Well, magic's not just about delusions; it can be tied up to the whole world. Not sure if it's relevant, but based on Idol Theory, Rosencreutz might be pulling in 'energy’ from the Greek 'phase’ of Heracles for an edge," Kamijou theorized.
"Like a chessboard flip?" Shokuhou Misaki inquired, her brow furrowed with concern.
"No, more like... imagine you're playing checkers with a buddy, and you're totally crushing it because you're a checkers pro. Then suddenly, your buddy switches it up and challenges you to an arm wrestling match, and you lose because, well, arm wrestling isn't your forte," Kamijou Touma explained, trying to paint a vivid picture.
"So, by taking on the role of the Hydra from Greek myth, he's essentially forcing the #7 into the role of Heracles? But didn't Heracles defeat the Hydra?" Shokuhou sought clarification.
"Yeah, but..." Kamijou recalled the tale from the movies he'd seen. "Lichas gave Heracles a shirt soaked in the Hydra's poisonous blood from his arrows, which ends up killing him by tearing his flesh down to the bone," he elaborated.
"It was actually Nessus seeking vengeance and tricking Deianira into giving it to Heracles as a gift, delivered by Lichas without disclosing the tunic's lethal bloodstained secret from the Lernaean Hydra, but you're right," Shokuhou corrected gently. "So, Rosencreutz is harnessing the power of that legend to slowly poison the #7?"
"Not literal. I mean the poison is real but his slashes do significant harm now so it's more like shifting the paradigm in his favor…shifting his position.” The spiky-haired boy wasn't in the mood to explain Phases, “Earlier, he mentioned Sogiita spreading his 'virus' throughout the world. A virus isn't a poison in the traditional sense, but the Rosicrucians originally sought to create a universal cure for all illnesses. Now, CRC is spreading a literal poison, positioning himself as the ultimate predator and his opponents as prey rather than his savior role, the paradigm has been shifted." Kamijou concluded, his voice tinged with gravity.
“So he’s changed the environment to get the win condition? The #7’s durability doesn't matter in the face of the world being forced to go about a certain way because of Rosencreutz stage play?” The girl asked.
“Yeah…if things keep going this way…Sogiita will….goddamnit….” The spiky haired boy swore. “I can't let someone else die after all that's happened but I feel like if I go out there I really will kill him…” he muttered that last bit while clenching his right fist that began shaking uncontrollably.
The girl’s eyes seemed confused. “What did you say?” The honey blonde middle schooler asked.
“Nothing, just mumbling to myself.” he spat out.
That boy and girl could never come to the right conclusion on their own without the aid of former Magic God Othinus by their side.
“Did you think I had challenged you with no hope of succeeding, you cesspool? The magic born on earth is bound by the directions based on the earth’s magnetic field and by the density and composition of the air which is determined by air pressure which is in turn influenced by gravity. That is inevitable when you are focused on the cardinal directions of north, south, east, and west or on the basic elements of fire, water, wind, and earth. But what you will find upon leaving the atmosphere is an unknown. Coronzon, are you sure there will be no malfunction in the magic giving you control of Avatar Lola? And before, my power was bound by the puny speck named earth which failed to become a black hole or even a sun, but once we enter outer space, just how far do you think that power will be released? I do not mind at all that I will lose the support of Academy City.”
Well the boy was half right.
“Let us test it out, you cuspidor. On one side, we have you using the planet and bound to an avatar. On the other, we have me exposed and freed from the planet. Now, who will be the star of this show?”
Christian Rosencreutz did not shoot at his surroundings for no reason.
The battlefield transformed into Rosencreutz's canvas, resembling the legendary battleground of Lerna where Heracles once clashed with the Hydra.
Yes.
He didn't unleash his powers randomly; every action was deliberate.
In the magical side of Idol Theory, mimicking an object, event, or person allowed one to tap into a fraction of its power.
And that even applied to locations that essentially worked as stage plays.
Idol Theory was so absolute that even the basic cross held a portion of the son of God’s power.
As Above, So Below.
As Below, So Above.
Macro to micro.
Micro to macro.
And the macrocosm and the microcosm are always linked.

We live in an age in which believers find themselves retreating to a sort of universalism in response to criticisms of our theology.
The heaven we preach, the critics assert, is a "sad heaven" because some of the people we love won't be with us. Nevermind that many of our critics are atheists and themselves preach "no heaven at all", the implication is that unless God provides a universal salvation to all, then God is not good and heaven is no reward.
Latter-day Saint Rebuttal to Sad Heaven
A Latter-day Saint rebuts this criticism better than most Christians, in that we believe that in the Third Estate:

• Nearly all of humankind will receive a state of glory;
• Nearly all will enjoy the companionship of loved ones, whether directly or by visitation; and
• Although not expressly presented in our scripture, many church leaders have taught that those in lower degrees of glory will have the ability to progress to greater degrees of glory, such that all have the potential of achieving the fullest glory and joy possible.

"Only a few", only those who choose active enmity toward God, will be deprived of this very happy heaven.
That's about as close to universal salvation as one can get--other than God giving salvation to everyone without regard to their personal choices or progress. Call LDS theology "almost-Universalism".
But It's Not "Only a Few"--It's Over 33 Billion
For my part, I don't think we can understand our God and our own notions of "almost-Universalism" without pondering the war in heaven.
In our doctrine, far more than "a few" of God's children suffer the worst fate. It's around 33 billion souls, if the world ended today.
Our theology contemplates that a third of all of potential human souls were cast out of heaven, and now reside . . . in a place we call outer darkness. This is not a great track record--a parent estranged from 1/3 of his children.
Here's a description of the suffering of the third of heaven, from the D&C, albeit indirect:

43 Who glorifies the Father, and saves all the works of his hands, except those sons of perdition who deny the Son after the Father has revealed him.
44 Wherefore, he saves all except them—they shall go away into everlasting punishment, which is endless punishment, which is eternal punishment, to reign with the devil and his angels in eternity, where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, which is their torment—
45 And the end thereof, neither the place thereof, nor their torment, no man knows;

The Sons of Perdition seem to share the same torment as the third who were cast out, namely, a worm that never dies and a fire that is never quenched.
What Did God Do The Third of Heaven?
Thus, our universalism is not so universal. But what did God do them? And why did he do it? Because we believe our souls are co-eternal with God's soul, the existence of non-God, non-God-potential eternal souls can teach us something about ourselves and about God himself.
We don't have much scripture--there was a war in heaven; Satan sought God's glory and also to destroy our agency; Satan and his followers were "cast out" of heaven. They were not even given the atheist's death (a merciful, complete annihilation)--they continue to exist.
Here are a few options of the "what" and "why":

1. God has imprisoned them and is punishing them in retribution for their behavior;
2. God has imprisoned them and is holding them to prevent them from developing God-like powers and becoming evil Gods. The only punishment is their conscious awareness of that lack of that progression.
3. Same as 2, except that rather then imprisoning them, God has withheld assistance they need to progress.
4. God has done nothing to them, neither imprison, punish, nor withheld assistance. There is only one way--independent of anything God may choose--and the window of opportunity has irrevocably passed. The only punishment is the conscious awareness that by their own choice they missed their opportunity.

Which do you think is most consistent with our scriptures? Which do you think places God in the "best" light? Can you think of others?

Between 1974 and 1975, there was a local man in San Francisco who would dump his victims bodies in Golden Gate Park and Ocean Beach. He became "The Doodler", as one of his last surviving victims said told him that he was a "cartoonist" who doodled during their late night dinner. The surviving victim met the Doodler at a truck stop diner near Market and Church after the bar closed in July of 1975. The victim told police, that the serial killer was in art school and learning to training to be a cartoonist. It has been noted that many, if not all, of his victims - both deceased and surviving - are gay men.
The attacks on two gay men happened at the Fox Plaza Apartments in July of 1975 in two weeks of each other. Both men lived on the same floor, but they didn't know each other. The last known survivor met the Doodler at the truck stop mentioned after last call at 2AM on Market and Church street.
Once the first sketch was released of the Doodler in October of 1975, there was a call from a anonymous woman - she gave a name and a license plate number possibly belonging to the Doodler. The police are looking for the woman who called SFPD in October of 1975 to step forward, as they want to speak to this person. The name she gave to SFPD has been their prime suspect, even as late as 2023.
SFPD have stated that if any surviving victims of the Doodler to "step forward", as they can be the missing link to solve this mystery, however, because of previous prejudices of that time, for fear of being possibly being outed as gay, as it's possible the victims now have families of their own, married to either their partners or possibly still believing in the social stigma of times gone by. It should be noted, that the fear in the LGBTQ+ community during that time, people that belonged in that community didn't come forward due to fear of social stigma and/or career lost for being gay, queer, bisexual, trans, etc....There have been long standing rumors that one surviving victim of the Doodler was a high ranking representative in government at that time, but it is hard to tell without them coming forward.
That said, if you or anyone you know has any information that can lead to the identity and arrest of the Doodler, you are urged to call the Cold Case Investigators Tom Newland at 415-553-1144, Dominic Celaya at 415 553-9856, Daniel Dedet at 415 553-1450, or Daniel Cunningham at 415 553-9515.
Sources, Doodler: https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/doodler-serial-killer-suspect-sketch-age-progression-san-francisco-cold-case/
Reward, Dooler: https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/reward-to-catch-doodler-serial-killer-increased-by-san-francisco-police/

she has a narc husband and narc MIL. Comes to our house for months at a time, and tries to gain sympathy constantly by showing how difficult her life is. Instead of breaking the cycle she has made our lives hell.
She tells my husband she doesn’t know who is influencing him to do things differently than the way she does, because apparently he cannot have his own opinion. She keeps on asking my husband does your wife come first or your mother?
Refuses to go to her other child’s house because she will ‘not be as comfortable as she is in our house’ there in spite of kicking around and screaming about how she doesn’t feel ‘at home’ in our home.
Constantly tries to meddle in our plans and wants to come wherever we go. When DH stands up to her she makes him count the things she has done and the money she has spent on him and how he could never repay them for what they have done for him.
Believes in giving her other child complete freedom and that parents should not interfere in plans and that the other kid has a life of their own but there is no concept of space with us, she thinks she is entitled to do whatever we are doing.
She wanted to come on an international trip with us because she hasn’t travelled in her life and if she doesn’t go with her son who will she go with? Of course she has not been allowed to do so.
Taunted me saying i wonder how youre not able to land a job anywhere when i lost mine due to downsizing and recession made it tough to find jobs in my field.
She refuses to leave her husband and talks shit about him all the time but if anyone else says anything, she blows up at them saying he’s a very good person (he’s an asshole)
While i sympathize for how tough her life (abuse) has been i do feel now she would be the core of many issues that have been caused. She progressively gets worse with age and starts screaming and shouting when boundaries are enforced.
Keeps on saying i dont want to leave ur house because this is my house too in spite of being told she needs to go. We have managed to get her to fuck off and booked her flight tickets but she is hell bent on coming back in 2 months after staying for 6 months to which we have said no. The only thing left to do is slam the door in her face now.
DH and I barely talk to her now because of how she behaves.
If anybody has been in this situation would love to know how you dealt with it. Thank you!

This was at college, but wasn't a textbook -- it was in the library but in the more everyday then academic section.
The book was about cartooning, and the effects different styles had on the story. It did this by taking the same story (i can't remember the details, but it was something about a guy having some minor inconvenience -forgot his groceries, lost his keys, something on that level), but redone in a different style each time. The ones I remember are a Juno Ito style horror, a four-colour golden age comic and a peanuts-style newspaper comic.
Searching "100 cartoon styles" isn't finding anything. Any ideas what I mean?

I've "fallen off the wagon" a lot, but when I'm on I've greatly increased fiber (oatmeal, beans, vegetables) and decreased saturated fat (largely cut out milk, cheese, butter, most meat). I've done my best to choose slightly better options when I am 'off', but it's all a work in progress. I've been a modestly active person with a healthy BMI my whole life, but always had problems with eating healthy food.
My doctor did seem really unconcerned about my LDL in the absence of other risk factors. Any thoughts about further steps I should take?
I think the next thing I want to do is re-commit to sticking to my dietary changes for several months and doing another lipid panel on my own to see what my best can look like, as this latest improved blood work was after a fairly off month. I've eaten REALLY badly in the past and I really worry about having had high cholesterol for a number of years (had one test when I was 20 that was high LDL too but didn't care at the time.) What if I already did a lot of damage to my arteries? Can I relax a little on worrying since these results are improved?
Age: 33 Family history: strong history of CHD both sides of family These results are 1 year apart, but I made no dietary changes at all until 4 months ago.
Total Cholesterol: 245 176 Triglycerides: 68 58 HDL: 71 66 VLDL calc: 11 14 LDL calc: 163 96 LDL/HDL ratio: 2.3 2.7

DAY: MAY 14, 2024

• 5-14-2024CAN EATING OR DRINKING CAFFEINE BEFORE BED IMPACT YOUR HEALTH? Having a lot of food in your stomach before bed can redirect blood flow to your gut to digest the food, meaning there is less blood flow going to your brain. You need that blood flow to your brain to make sure you go into the different sleep stages. If you have caffeine in your system or are sensitive to it, the time to fall asleep can double. Caffeine has a half-life of up to 4.5 hours, so a safe bet is to avoid caffeine after noon.
• 5-14-2024RESEARCHERS DETECT HIDDEN INGREDIENTS AND QUESTIONABLE CLAIMS IN SUPPLEMENTS some supplement companies may mislead customers with unproven health claims and undeclared ingredients. The researchers focused on supplements that have been associated with the purported treatment or prevention of COVID-19 and other respiratory illnesses. During the pandemic, the use of dietary supplements skyrocketed throughout the world. “There was a big spike in purchase and use of these types
• 5-14-2024TEXT MESSAGES WITH FINANCIAL INCENTIVES CAN HELP MEN WHO ARE LIVING WITH OBESITY LOSE WEIGHT, UK STUDY FINDS text messages with financial incentives can help men who are living with obesity lose weight and could be a valuable alternative to traditional weight management programs. Men who were offered cash for hitting weight loss targets lost more weight than those not given a financial incentive,
• 5-14-2024EXERCISE BENEFITS THE BRAIN, BUT IMPROVING ITS BLOOD VESSELS MAY TAKE LONGER People with less consistent brain blood flow patterns may be at greater risk of dementia and cerebrovascular disease. To explore whether regular aerobic exercise can help, researchers at Iowa State University have conducted a pilot study, the results of which were recently published in the Journal of Applied Physiology. “The big take-away is that exercise is good for the arteries and brain, but its effects are complex and takes time to accumulate benefits
• 5-14-2024SOCIAL ONLINE TRAINING CAN HELP AGAINST LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION a ten-week, partner-based mental online training program boosted resilience, empathy and compassion, and deepened social connections. At the same time, these short daily, app-based practices done with another person, so-called Dyads, decreased loneliness, depression, anxiety and a negative outlook
• 5-14-2024TECH ALONE CAN’T REPLACE HUMAN COACHES IN OBESITY TREATMENT, STUDY FINDS technology alone can’t replace the human touch to produce meaningful weight loss in obesity treatment. The study, titled “An Adaptive Behavioral Intervention for Weight Loss Management: A Noninferiority Randomized Clinical Trial,” . “Giving people technology alone for the initial phase of obesity treatment produces unacceptably worse weight loss than giving them treatment that combines technology with a human coach
• 5-14-2024ULTRASOUND CAN HELP PATIENTS WITH A TYPE OF RHEUMATIC DISEASE LEAD LONGER AND HEALTHIER LIVES ultrasound can help patients with a type of rheumatic disease to live longer and healthier lives. These patients have so far had an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, which contributes to premature death. Patients with a type of rheumatic disease called radiographic axial spondyloarthritis, a disease that causes changes in the bones in the pelvis and spine, have poorer health quality of life than control subjects.
• 5-14-2024SCIENTISTS FIND REPEATED, SMALL HITS TO HEAD IN FOOTBALL PLAYERS CAN DAMAGE BLOOD VESSELS IN THE BRAIN The work involved specialized helmets that were used to monitor head impacts in 60 university football players. Credit: Dalhousie University Repeated blows to the heads of football players can damage the small blood vessels of the brain, according to research by Dalhousie University scientists from the Brain Repair Center who believe this damage may contribute to brain dysfunction in some athletes years after play has ended. The neuroscientists found that the brain’s blood vessels can get damaged by a succession of small hits
• 5-14-2024‘MICROPREEMIE’ BABY WHO WEIGHED JUST OVER 1 POUND AT BIRTH GOES HOME FROM ILLINOIS HOSPITAL Nyla was born at just 22 weeks weighing 1 pound and 1 ounce, making her what’s known as a “micropreemie.” She left Silver Cross Hospital on Monday weighing a healthy 10 pounds, and was taken home by her first-time parents
• 5-14-2024RESEARCHERS INVESTIGATE IF PHARMACOLOGICAL TREATMENT OF ADHD REDUCES CRIMINALITY pharmacological treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) reduced violence- and public-order related crimes. However, it did not reduce other types of crimes, among patients with ADHD in early to late adolescence considered to be in the gray zone (or on the margin) for such treatment.
• 5-14-2024A NEW DRUG SHOWS POTENTIAL BENEFITS IN THE RECOVERY OF PATIENTS AFTER A HEART ATTACK beneficial effects of the novel drug Sacubitril/Valsartan in the management of myocardial infarction (MI). The research offers new insights into the drug’s ability to reduce inflammation, cardiac fibrosis, and prevent dangerous heart arrhythmias post-MI. Cardiovascular diseases, especially MI,
• 5-14-2024STUDY EXPLORES ROLE OF EPIGENETICS, ENVIRONMENT IN DIFFERING ALZHEIMER’S RISK BETWEEN BLACK AND WHITE COMMUNITIES environmentally caused alterations to specific areas of the genome—known as imprint control regions—during early development may contribute to the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, and that Black people may be more affected than white people. The work adds to our understanding of the ways in which environmental factors can contribute to genetic alterations and disease susceptibility.
• 5-14-2024NEW AI TOOL IMPROVES RISK ASSESSMENT FOR HEART FAILURE CARE researchers have developed a powerful new risk assessment tool for predicting outcomes in heart failure patients. The researchers have made the tool publicly available for free to clinicians. The new tool improves on existing risk assessment tools for heart failure by harnessing the power of machine learning (ML) and artificial intelligence (AI) to determine patient-specific risks of developing unfavorable outcomes with heart failure.
• 5-14-2024FAR FROM TOXIC, LACTATE RIVALS GLUCOSE AS BODY’S MAJOR FUEL AFTER A CARBOHYDRATE MEAL A volunteer is monitored after being given a large dose of glucose to determine how well people switch from fat to carbohydrate metabolism as they age. In the tests at UC Berkeley, subjects had their blood monitored for labeled lactate and glucose, underwent periodic blood sampling, and had their breath monitored for oxygen and carbon dioxide.
• 5-14-2024STUDY EXPLORES WHAT MOTIVATES PRESCHOOLERS TO PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE Adults find it particularly easy to prepare for the future when they imagine how they will feel. Researchers at Ruhr University Bochum, Germany, have investigated whether this is also the case with preschoolers. The researchers conducted the study at the intersection of philosophy and psychology. They described their findings in the journal Emotion. Rehearsing for a school play, getting a present for a friend’s birthday and packing a book for a long car journey:
• 5-14-2024NEWLY IDENTIFIED PET BIOMARKER PREDICTS SUCCESS OF IMMUNE CHECKPOINT BLOCKADE THERAPY The protein galectin-1 (Gal-1) has been identified as a new PET imaging biomarker for immune checkpoint blockade (ICB) therapy, allowing physicians to predict the tumor responses before beginning treatment. Information garnered from Gal-1 PET imaging could also be used to facilitate patient stratification and optimize immunotherapy, enabling targeted interventions and improving patient outcomes. This research was published in the May issue of The Journal of Nuclear Medicine. Immunotherapies, such as ICB
• 5-14-2024RESEARCH LINKS SLEEP APNEA SEVERITY DURING REM STAGE TO VERBAL MEMORY DECLINE
• 5-14-2024SEVERE OBESITY IN CHILDHOOD CAN HALVE LIFE EXPECTANCY, GLOBAL MODELING STUDY FINDS
• 5-14-2024COEXISTENCE OF PSORIATIC ARTHRITIS, ATOPIC DERMATITIS MAY OFFER TREATMENT INSIGHTS
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• 5-14-2024CONGENITAL ANOMALIES FOUND TO BE TEN TIMES MORE FREQUENT IN CHILDREN WITH NEURODEVELOPMENTAL DISORDERS
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I guess I just wanted to share some of my story to reinforce how bad drinking can affect your health even at a relatively young age.
November of 2022 I died from my drinking. Long story short I was a successful young professional in the realm of finance and after taking a job that I moved across the country for, things turned bad. The job started with 5 months of studying for multiple series exams, my drinking spiraled out of control. I was drinking at least a liter a day of vodka while studying and because of my pride and age, I completely ignored the signs and danger of being physically addicted to alcohol. I told myself after the exams I would stop drinking.
(This is what I’ve been told happened) Monday morning at 9:30 am 3 days before my final test date, I messaged my manager telling him I think I needed to go to urgent care because I was in a lot of pain, asked my roommate to drive me. We couldn’t find an urgent care so he took me to the ER, which saved my life. I was admitted around 10:15 am and shortly after, I got up to use the bathroom and while walking back to my bed I suffered my first seizure. The seizure caused me to go into respiratory arrest and subsequent cardiac arrest, they started cpr but needed to defibrillate me twice to get a pulse. I was in the only place that gave me a chance, a level 1 trauma care facility.
I was too weak so they induced me into a coma but thought I would come to the next day. However, my physical addiction was so bad I seized 3 times throughout the night and the situation progressed to full organ failure. In all I was in a coma for 8 days, where my family sat around my lifeless body, unsure if I’d make it and if I’d ever walk or talk again if I did. 6 weeks in the icu/hospital/physical therapy I was able to go back to my apartment. The next day I started drinking again.
My parents figured out I was drinking again and basically gave up hope for me. After 5 ish months of on and off drinking I finally broke down and sought help. I’m 280 days sober (don’t know how to set my flair) and have made drastic changes in order to finally give myself a chance at happiness.
You’re never too young to stop drinking.

Female, 67 years old. Ruptured my left ACL in a freak accident on March 4th, 2024. Hobbled on crutches until March 13, when I got MRI and saw orthopedic surgeon. My MCL and PCL were sprained, and the medial meniscus was torn in the "white" area. My main complaint was knee instability and so it remains. I had 1 cortisone shot back in April.
Due to my age, surgeon wanted me to rehab, and not go for ACL reconstruction unless absolutely necessary. Had 8 PT sessions; was discharged from PT on April 30th; still do all PT exercises every day. The PT told me that my left knee buckling is because of muscle atrophy.
As soon as I could walk well enough, I returned to the gym and cautiously set about strengthening my quads, hamstrings and calves, using bike, plus circuit weight machines on very low weights.
Before the accident, I was walking 5 miles with friends at 4mph, and working out for 2.5 to 3 hours, 3x a week at a gym (not sporty, but was always into fitness). Eleven weeks since the accident, I've brought the left quads to 45 lbs on the leg extension (right quad is 55), but the left hamstring is stuck at 10 lbs, although I can do 30 on the right hamstring. The left calf muscles aren't coming back much, either.
I see the surgeon again on June 5th. I'm so disappointed at my poor progress. He seemed confident that I would be walking fine by now, but I'm not. My left knee still wants to buckle. Walking on the street or sidewalk doesn't feel right, and my hamstrings burn, although the quads don't hurt. The PT had no suggestions.
Has anybody had any experience with this? So frustrating. I've had to cancel all trips and obviously can't walk with my speedy friends any more.