I’ve read multiple threads on this & seen the same answer over a dozen time: Ephesians 4:29 (and we’ll come back to that in a moment).
Before I dive in, I want to first state that I personally do not use “curse words” often just because it’s not already in my vocabulary & I see no reason in starting just for other believers in Jesus to see me as just “being controversial” so this thread & anything stated below is not to justify my actions - just to get an understanding on a topic fellow believers seem to bash so heavily & go as far to label it as a sin.
When what we call “cuss words” comes to my mind, I don’t feel like the words themselves can be dirty. After all, there’s no record in the Bible of a “single word” being a “dirty word”.
In Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), it states: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Reading this verse does it make sense for “unwholesome talk” to mean “a single word that we label as cuss words”? Like where does it state what these specific single words would be?
All that I’m trying to get at here is that in the context of this verse, it appears that “corrupt communication” would mean words or statements that are tearing someone down or belittling them - not building them up.
Like if you told someone “that was f****** amazing!” as a complement versus saying “that was extremely terrible” as an insult to hurt the person - what made the “cuss” word itself have any negative impact? Was it necessarily? No, but is it any different from any other exclamatory word you could use like freaking, flipping, super, really, etc.?
That example is a tough one because I’m not saying to just complement something if you genuinely didn’t like it - clearly be honest, but instead, the first one had good motives & and edifying statement behind it - the second one was unfruitful with rude/poor intentions.
I just want to hear thoughts & other perspectives on why they feel a certain way about specific words themselves being a problem.

3.0. THE THIRD BUDDHIST COUNCIL:

Venerable Moggaliputta Tissa Thera led the 3rd Buddhist Council of Theravada School. That was not a schism as the outsiders were not the true members of the Sangha. However, the king supported them like the members of the Sangha.

Because it helped promote tolerance and mutual respect, Asoka desired that people should be well-learned (bahu sruta) in the good doctrines (kalanagama) of other people's religions. [The Edicts of King Asokaan, English rendering by Ven. S. Dhammika © 1994]

King Asoka was supporting everyone who claimed he belonged to the Dhamma-Vinaya community (the Sangha) established by the Sakyamuni. However, they did not join the Dhamma-Vinaya community, nor know, nor care the Buddha's teaching.
Venerable Moggaliputta Tissa Thera determined that "the Vibhajjavāda alone contained the teaching of the Buddha."

Rest of the monks who were true believers, told about the doctrine of the Buddha, that it was Vibhajjavāda i.e. the religion of analytical reasoning. This answer was supported by Moggaliputta-Tissa who was present there. He told that the Buddha was Vibhajjavādin (analyser). The Thera was made the gurdian of the Order. To purify the Sangha, the king requested to hold the Uposatha ceremony.

Uposatha

uposatha : [m.] Sabbath day; observance of 8 precepts; biweekly recitation of the Vinaya rules by a chapter of Buddhist monks.
Mūḷuposatha sutta (AN 3.70), (Bhikkhu Bodhi)

“There are, Visākhā, three kinds of uposatha. What three? The cowherds’ uposatha, the Nigaṇṭhas’ uposatha, and the noble ones’ uposatha [...] (3) “And how, Visākhā, is the noble ones’ uposatha observed? The defiled mind is cleansed by exertion. And how is the defiled mind cleansed by exertion?

The mentioned uposatha ceremony is for the monks to recite the Vinaya rules. It cannot be observed with the participation of the public, including the monks (and priests) from other religions.

[Uposatha (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)] The monastic observance may be held in one of four ways, depending on the size of the Community in a particular territory: If four bhikkhus or more, they meet for a recitation of the Pāṭimokkha; if three, they declare their mutual purity to one another; if two, they declare their purity to each other; if one, he marks the day by determining it as his uposatha. In addition to these regular observance days, the Buddha gave permission for a Community to recite the Pāṭimokkha only on one other occasion: when unity has been reestablished in the Community. This, the Commentary says, refers only to occasions when a major dispute in the Community has been settled (such as a schism—see Chapter 21), and not to occasions when the uposatha has been suspended for minor reasons. Thus there are two occasions on which the bhikkhus are allowed to meet for the uposatha: the last day of the lunar fortnight and the day for reestablishing unity.

The public uposatha is open to everyone, including non-Buddhists. The participants are expected to observe a set of uposatha sīla, either 8, 9 or 10 (aṭṭha-sīla, navanga-sīla or dasa-sīla).
uposathika : [adj.] one who observes [uposatha] precepts.

Aṭṭha-sīla 8 (Uposatha, Uposatha-sīla): 6. Vikālabhojanā veramaṇī； 7. Naccagītavāditavisūkadassanā mālāgandhavilepanadhāraṇamaṇanavibhūsanaṭṭhānā veramaṇī； 8. Uccāsayanamahāsayanā veramaṇī;

On the basis of not-Dhamma as ‘Dhamma’… Dhamma as ‘not-Dhamma’… not-Vinaya as ‘Vinaya’… Vinaya as ‘not-Vinaya’, Emperor Asoka expelled the non-Vibhajjavādis who could not observe the uposatha, including the Sarvāstivādis, from the Sangha.

[Schism (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)] Ven. Upāli: “‘A split in the Community, a split in the Community (saṅgha-bheda)’ it is said. To what extent is the Community split?” The Buddha: “There is the case where they explain not-Dhamma as ‘Dhamma’… Dhamma as ‘not-Dhamma’… not-Vinaya as ‘Vinaya’… Vinaya as ‘not-Vinaya’… [...] a light offense as ‘a heavy offense’… a heavy offense as ‘a light offense’… an offense leaving a remainder as ‘an offense leaving no remainder’… an offense leaving no remainder as ‘an offense leaving a remainder’… a serious offense as ‘a not-serious offense’… a not-serious offense as ‘a serious offense.’ On the basis of these eighteen grounds they pull away, pull apart, they perform a separate uposatha, perform a separate Invitation, perform a separate Community transaction. To this extent the Community is split.”—Cv.VII.5.2

Devadatta caused the first schism on the basic of Vinaya rules. The Vajjian monks caused the second schism on the same ground. The Sangha established by the Sakyamuni was attacked several times from within.

Vibhajjavādi Dhamma Missions

Emperor Asoka sent forth nine missionaries to nine different countries to propagate the religion of the Buddha and crowned it with success... also the Bhikkuni Sangha in Aparantaka, Suvannabhumi and Ceylon.

Emperor Asoka sent his son and daughter, Arahant Maha Mahinda Thera and Arahant Sanghamitta Theri, to Sri Lanka, where the events of the 3rd Buddhist Council were recorded.
"Arahant Mahinda, who introduced the Buddhadhamma to Sri Lanka, is the Redactor of the Buddhapåjàva in Sinhala Buddhism."
Sri Lanka became a foothold of the Dhamma-Vinaya Tradition. Suvannabhumi was also a foothold where Thera-vada Buddhism thrives presently.

Vibhajjavādi Dhamma Paṭisambhidā-ñāṇa

Analytical Knowledge (Paṭisambhidā-ñāṇa) allows the arahants to reason and teach in detail analytically. Understanding the nature of the Teachings of the Buddha and the Sangha, Venerable Moggaliputta Tissa Thera described them as Vibhajjavādis. That is Theravada, the doctrine of the arahants. Dhamma paṭisambhidā-ñāṇa is the ability to analytically and in detail explain the nature of reality.
The Buddha as an awakened sage is neither a theorist nor a philosopher. Theravada is not philosophy. The Buddha is an arahant.
The Buddha's disciples, who are also arahants, know the Four Noble Truths through their own observation and release from delusion. Knowing modern views and modern science is not their task. They are not philosophers and philosophical scholars. They do not claim to possess omniscience.

Titthiya Sutta (Sectarians):

[The Buddha advises the monks,] you should answer those wanderers of other sects in this way, ‘Friends, passion carries little blame and is slow to fade. Aversion carries great blame and is quick to fade. Delusion carries great blame and is slow to fade. [Thanissaro Bhikkhu]

3.1. Kaccānagotta Sutta (Right View)

Kaccānagotta Sutta Pali:

‘sammādiṭṭhi sammādiṭṭhī’ti, bhante, vuccati. Kittāvatā nu kho, bhante, sammādiṭṭhi hotī’’ti?... ‘‘‘Sabbaṃ atthī’ti kho, kaccāna, ayameko anto. ‘Sabbaṃ natthī’ti ayaṃ dutiyo anto. Ete te, kaccāna, ubho ante anupagamma majjhena tathāgato dhammaṃ deseti – ‘avijjāpaccayā saṅkhārā; saṅkhārapaccayā… L. Feer, Saṃyutta-nikāya,V. 16 —[copied from Early Buddhism: A New Definition (Vijitha Kumara, page 130)]

• sammādiṭṭhi : right view
• What is the right view, bhante?

Sarvāstivāda

Sarvāstivāda means "those who claim that everything exists" [...] the Sarvāstivādins suggest that "everything," that is all conditioned factors (dharma), "exist" and can exert causal efficacy in the three time periods of the past, present, and future. [Sarvastivada And Mulasarvastivada (Encyclopedia.com)]

The main Sarvāstivādi concept 'all dhamma exist in all three times' was familiar to the Buddha, not because He taught it, but because He rejected it.

'Everything exists': That is one extreme. 'Everything doesn't exist': That is a second extreme. Avoiding these two extremes, the Tathagata teaches the Dhamma via the middle: From ignorance as a requisite condition come fabrications (saṅkhārā). From fabrications as a requisite condition comes consciousness. [Kaccānagotta Sutta (SN 12:15) (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)]

Somehow, that concept, despite the Buddha's famous rejection, came to associate with Buddhism once again, not because the Buddha taught it, but the outsiders made it as if the Buddha accepted it.
We, too, must reject the notion of 'everything exists' just the way the Buddha rejected it. The rejection is also present in the paṭicca samuppāda, as He explains:

Imagine two sheaves of reeds the one leaning against the other. In the same way consciousness depends on named-shapes, named shapes depend on consciousness [...] birth depends on existing, aging and death depend on birth — the coming into existence of upset, grief, lamentation, pain and misery. [...] If, however, friend, I were to remove one of those sheaves of reeds one would fall down if I were to remove the other the other would fall down. — SN 5.67 [Dependant Uprising, Downbound Dependent Own-making (Dependent Origination, Conditioned Genesis, The Causal Law),

The Paṭicca Samuppāda provides two sheaves of reeds that support each other, but one of them can be removed to topple them both. When they are toppled, we cannot say everything exists. The Buddha's Dhamma, which shows us the four Paramattha, is nothing like a "dharma theory" that was created by the Sarvāstivādis.
Kaccānagotta Sutta continues:

[The Buddha:] By & large, Kaccayana, this world is supported by (takes as its object) a polarity, that of existence & non-existence. But when one sees the origination of the world as it actually is with right discernment, 'non-existence' with reference to the world does not occur to one. When one sees the cessation of the world as it actually is with right discernment, 'existence' with reference to the world does not occur to one. "By & large, Kaccayana, this world is in bondage to attachments, clingings (sustenances), & biases

3.2. Vibhajyavāda & The Present Dhamma

The Tibetan Buddhist Encyclopedia:

vibhajyavāda; A school of thought doctrinally opposed to the Sarvāstitvāda. holds that the present dharma-s alone exist. However, some among them like the followers of the Kāśyapīya, concede that the past karma that have not yet given fruit (adatta-phala) can also be said to exist.

Here is a part of Magganga Dipani by Ledi Sayadaw:

kammassakata samma-ditthi Sabbesatta kammadayada, kamayoni, kammabandhu kammappatisarana yam kammam karissanti kalyanam va papakam va tassadayada bhavissanti. Sabbe satta kammassaka: There exist such properties as elephants, horses, vehicles, cattle, fields, buildings, gold, silver, jewels, etc. Those properties can be said to belong to us in the present existence before we pass away. But when we pass away those properties do not accompany us beyond death. They are like properties which we borrow for some time for our use. They are liable to destruction during the present existence. As those properties which beings possess do not accompany them to their new existences, they cannot be claimed as properties belonging to those beings. The Buddha therefore said, 'sabbe satta kammassaka.' The only property of all beings that accompanies them is their own volitional action... [Ledi Sayadaw explains the entire thing here.]

• Venerable Mogok Sayadaw warned us to avoid sassata ditthi, the belief in permanence (nicca), 'eternity-belief'. Based on his explanation: A kamma (action) exists while it is happening between the start and the end. For example, feeding an animal: this action exists only while that animal is fed. That action cannot exist before and after that animal is fed. However, as if following the doers, the potential effect of certain wholesome and unwholesome kamma (volition) is inevitable.

Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta

Furthermore, bhikkhus, this is the dukkha ariya·sacca: jāti is dukkha, jarā is dukkha (sickness is dukkha) maraṇa is dukkha, association with what is disliked is dukkha, dissociation from what is liked is dukkha, not to get what one wants is dukkha; in short, the five upādāna'k'khandhas are dukkha.

• The Buddha introduced the Dukkha Sacca in His first sermon.
• Vedayita-dukkha: The truth is dukkha are birth, aging, death, association with what is disliked, dissociation from what is liked, and not to get what one wants.
• Bhayattha-dukkha: The truth is the constant fear of these dukkha is also dukkha.
• Due to the past wholesome and unwholesome kamma, one gets birth, aging, death, etc.
• However, Beings born in the sugati-loka do not suffer from birth, aging, and bodily pain (kayika-dukkha), as these dukkha do not exist there.
• The past unwholesome kamma do not affect these beings during their existence in sugati-loka, especially the arupa-brahmas.
• The Buddha understood the followers of Nigaṇṭha (the Nigaṇṭhas) did not know the existence of the sugati-loka. Thus, they were speculators who fell into sassatavada (eternalism) and ucchedavada (nihilism/annihilation). Details can be read here: The Buddhist Critique of Sassatavada and Ucchedavada: The Key to a proper Understanding of the Origin and the Doctrines of early Buddhism (Y. Karunadasa).
• In the Devadaha Sutta, the Buddha pointed out the mistakes of these Nigaṇṭhas.

Devadaha Sutta (the Law of Kamma)

[MN 101] “‘So, friends, it seems that you don’t know that you existed in the past, and that you did not not exist… you don’t know what is the abandoning of unskillful qualities and the attainment of skillful qualities in the here & now. That being the case, it is not proper for you to assert that, “Whatever a person experiences—pleasure, pain, or neither pleasure nor pain—all is caused by what was done in the past. Thus, with the destruction of old [kamma] through asceticism, and with the non-doing of new actions, there will be no flow into the future. With no flow into the future, there is the ending of [kamma]. With the ending of [kamma], the ending of [dukkha]. With the ending of [dukkha], the ending of feeling. With the ending of feeling, all [dukkha] will be exhausted.” (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)

• If the present is completely conditioned by the past [kamma] and if we could not break that condition to do new kamma in a condition not determined by the past, then at this present we could not even do anything intentionally (kamma) as our action would be restrained by the past kamma.

A Vibhajjavādi cannot accept Sarvāstivāda's notion of the three times:

all dharmas exist in the past, present and future, the "three times".

Past and future exist at this present moment implies they merge with the present time. Yesterday and tomorrow are today and they are so every day without meaning one can live yesterday and tomorrow today. If one's injury healed yesterday, both injury and healing exist today, right now. For three times doctrine (Sarvāstivāda), dead people are dead, alive and exist at all stages and every moment of time. Even though one has reborn countless times, one still lives in the past lives and also the future lives. One has lived the past infinity and the future infinity. As the future has also been lived, there is no way to change the future, so what will happen will happen — according to the God one believes. After one passes away, one will relive the same life again and again countless times in the past and the future. Someone who will become a Buddha is already a Buddha. Someone who will go to hell is already in hell while living this life as a human.
Rational and irrational people, including the physicists, philosophers, writers and filmmakers, took the doctrine of three times seriously and imagined time machines.
Assuming kamma (action) exists constantly (past, present and future) constitutes sassata ditthi (eternalism). Assuming actions and their effects do not exist constitutes ahetukaditthi (view of uncausedness) — see the 8th question on page181 of this book: Milindapanha: kammaphalaatthibhavapanha. King Milinda asked many questions about kamma. The answers of wisemen and philosophers of the time did not satisfy the king. He got the answers only when he met Venerable Nagasena; see A SEARCH FOR THE LEARNED (TALENT HUNT), pages12-16.
Venerable Nagasena explained how the future is yet to exist:

Can anyone point out the fruits that a tree has not yet produced, saying: “Here they are, there they are”?” [See 3.2. QUESTION REGARDING VALIDITY OF FRUIT AND RESULT OF WHOLESOME AND UNWHOLESOME]

Real is the present; the past is gone; the future is yet to exist. That is the knowledge of the arahants.
Every action has the process of existence: birth, decay and death. Understanding anicca can abandon sakkaya ditthi.
Sakkaya ditthi is a sense with which one perceives a nama-rupa complex as me, you, he, she, it, cat, dog and so on.

Right View according to the Sakyamuni

The Buddha and His disciples visited Vesāli, the capital of the Vajjians, several times, and many arahants were made there. Saccaka, who the Buddha addressed as Aggivessana, was a famous Jain teacher of the Licchavi rājās. They accompanied Saccaka when he went to challenge the Buddha. There a famous debate on anattavada occurred, as recorded in the famous Cula-Saccaka Sutta.

[The Buddha asked,] “Well, Aggivessana, when you say that [rūpa] is self, do you have power over that [rūpa]. Can you have your [rūpa] be any different than it is?” Saccaka could not answer and remained silent [...] “Released they are endowed with unsurpassed Right View, unsurpassed practice, and unsurpassed release. Released, they honor and respect the Tathagata in this manner: The Buddha teaches the Dhamma for awakening (to Four Noble Truths), the Buddha teaches the Dhamma to develop restraint, the Buddha teaches the Dhamma for developing tranquility, the Buddha teaches the Dhamma for ending samsara (ignorance). The Buddha teaches the Dhamma for total unbinding.” (John Haspel).

• [rūpa]: The four mahabhuta (solid, liquid, gas, heat), each changes according to its nature.
• Self (atta) means the owner or arbitor of the five aggregates of clinging.
• do you have power over that [rūpa]: None of the five aggregates is self (atta).
• Vesāli became a Buddhist capital after the debate. But not all the Nigaṇṭhas were happy. Their attack on the Buddha and the Sangha never stopped. They succeeded only after a few centuries later.

3.3. QUESTION REGARDING VALIDITY OF FRUIT AND RESULT OF WHOLESOME AND UNWHOLESOME

(kammaphalaatthibhavapanha page181) 8. King Milinda said: “If, O Venerable Nagasena, with the (present) Mind-body-complex (nama-rupa) either wholesome or unwholesome kammical actions were performed where will the fruit and result of those actions (kamma) be located?” “The fruit and result of kammical actions tend to follow the Mind-body-complex, O King, like a shadow that never leaves it.” (So replied the Elder.) “Now what do you think, O King? Can any one point out the fruits which a tree has not yet produced, saying: “Here they are, there they are”?” (So asked the Elder.) “Not possible it is, O Venerable One.” (So replied the king.)

• Shadow means the potential. As long as the tree exists, the potential of fruiting of that tree exists. The fruits will be on that tree, not elsewhere. The potential never leaves the tree.
• Mahayana created the concept of Ālayavijñāna (storehouse consciousness).
  • Ālayavijñāna is also regarded as the store house of vāsanas and karmic tendencies (vāsanāparibhāvita and sarvabījaka). However, it is neither the permanent identity of a person nor a form of collective unconscious. Continuous build-up and discharge of karmic tendencies cause the ever-changing nature of ālaya-vijñāna. [Wisdom Lib]
• Compare ālayavijñāna with indestructable buddha-nature. Buddha-nature is also vijñāna/citta. Awareness is Buddha-nature.
  • [Breakthrough Sermon, Bodhidharma:] The Sutra of the Ten Stages says, “In the body of mortals is the indestructible buddha-nature [...] Our buddha-nature [the self-nature of Buddha] is awareness: to be aware and to make others aware. To realize awareness is liberation.
  • be­cause garbha (which nearly always means 'embryo' in Sanskrit) is translated by ts'ang, ( = 'womb'; lit. 'storehouse'), a certain vacuum was created in the Chinese vocabulary which the terms fo hsing and fo hsin ( = buddha-citta) neatly filled. [Rawlinson, Andrew. "The Ambiguity of the Buddha-Nature Concept in India and China."]
  • Ālayavijñāna belongs to or a part of buddha-nature (buddha-citta).
  • According to the concept of citta-matrata

THE NIYAMA-DIPANI The Manual of Cosmic Order Mahathera Ledi Sayadaw

[Kamma-Niyama] The moral order--Kamma (action) is that by which men execute, deeds, good or evil, meritorious or the opposite. What is it ? It is volition (cetana), moral or immoral. We are told in the Pali texts: 'By action, Bhikkhus, I mean volition. It is through having willed that a man does something in the form of deed, speech or thought.'

The nama-rupa process, which occurs according to the law of paticcasamuppada (Pratītya-Samutpāda), is like a tree; See 2.3. PATICCASAMUPPADA. The nama-rupa process, which occurs due to the niyama(s) other than kamma niyama, is outside the law of paticcasamuppada but not unrelated.

Naked Kassapa

The ascetic Acelakassapa put forward four theories of origination of suffering and wanted to know Buddha’s answer to them. [Dependent Origination and the Buddhist Theory of Relativity (Kottegoda S. Warnasuriya (page 154)]
"'He who performs the act also experiences [the result]' — what you, Kassapa, first called 'suffering caused by oneself' — this amounts to the Eternalist[3] theory. [Acela Sutta: Naked Kassapa]

An action was done by a doer, not someone else. However, the doer and the action (kamma) can exist only during the action is being done, not before or after. The doer happens to exist because of doing. The doer and doing exists at the same time. Action and doer don't exist outside doing or before or after the action is done.
Saying there is no doer falls into ahetukavada and probably uccedavada, too, as 'no doer' means 'nobody is responsible' to take the consequences. When the action is done, it becomes a seed that grows into a tree (as nama-rupa process) according to the paticcasamuppada law. The fruiting or consequences of volition (kamma/seed) will appear on this tree.

Of Causal Genesis [Mahathera Ledi Sayadaw (contrinues)]

Paticcasamuppada is Causal Genesis or Dependent Origination (Process). The key words are depdendent and process. The process depends on the action done by the doer, which no longer exists by the next stage of the process. For example, a sound comes out after the drummer hit a drum with a drumstick. The birth of the sound is dependent on the hitting process, but the sound itself is independent to be in the law of impermanence—no butterfly-effect here.
That is how things exist, but not "everything exists".

Throwaway for above reason.
A few months ago, I took a new job with a new retail store opening in my area and was hired on as a third key. Everything started out ok when the schedule was 8-4 M-F, however, after the store actually opened and the schedule changed to opening/closing and weekend shifts - all of a sudden there was an issue with the assistant manager wanting to close.
For background information, I am a single, mid-20s single woman without children. The assistant manager came to me one afternoon asking to switch her one closing shift the upcoming week with my opening shift that day because closing shifts “make her tired” and she also referenced the fact that she is a mother, and that she needs to “get home to get kid, otherwise her husband has to take off work.”
I refused to switch shifts with her and honestly made up a reason as to why I couldn’t, even though I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to. I then went and reported this to the store manager, because she also disclosed to me that she claimed that she was told in her interview she would “never have to take a closing shift.” I presented this to the store manager and basically told him he needed to handle it, because I felt uncomfortable to have someone in a supervisor position come to me and ask me in a pressuring way to switch shifts.
The store manager was perfectly understandable of this, and he did speak to the assistant manager about it. However, she quickly figured out who spoke to him about it as I was the only one she had asked to switch shifts with. This then started some pretty extreme retaliation.
Despite being told not to talk to me one on one, the next day after being spoken to by the store manager, the assistant manager approached me and asked to speak privately in the office, without a witness. She approached me somewhat aggressively, and I had an uncomfortable feeling about this conversation. I agreed to talk to her there, however, on the way, I began recording the conversation on my phone. I live in a one-party recording state.
During this conversation, the assistant manager started the conversation by asking multiple times if “we can just keep this conversation a total secret, just between you and me” and then violated open door policy by telling me that I was incorrect to go to the store manager, that she “didn’t mean anything by asking to switch shifts” and if I was uncomfortable, I should have come and talked to her instead of going to my direct supervisor (the store manager). During the course of the conversation, I counted over 4 times that she said “next time don’t talk to SM name, just come talk to me” and told me I should be understanding to the fact that “she’s a mother” and why she wouldn’t want to close. It was a very uncomfortable and unprofessional conversation overall.
I of course reported this almost immediately to the store manager and showed him the recording. He agreed this was fully out of line and spoke to the assistant manager again asking why she approached me when specifically told not to. Not knowing the conversation was recorded, the assistant manager proceeded to lie and say she just “wanted to smooth things over” and made up a completely different narrative that what actually happened. She outright denied ever telling me I could not report anything to the store manager.
After this is when the retaliation started to come out in full swing. One of my job responsibilities is to visually merchandise the store. The next day when I came in for my shift, the assistant manager was tearing down and completely resetting a floor set I had just done the day prior. I asked very plainly “what are you doing?” And she immediately told me “I am not going to deal with your attitude today and I will send you home right now.” This was 20 minutes after I arrived for an 8 hour shift.
I walked away and went to the back office and interrupted the store manager who was in a district zoom meeting at the time and let him know the assistant manager was threatening to send me home. He left the meeting and then proceeded to “mediate” on the sales floor the rest of the day, as the assistant manager did not act out of pocket when under the direct supervision of the store manager.
Another notable incident was an act of attempted physical violence before the assistant manager was fired. I was in the back stock room with the inventory manager when the assistant manager, who was pushing a large rack on wheels of very heavy merchandise (I can’t be too specific as to what the merchandise was as I’m scared it may give away where I work, but this rack would have weighed 350+ lbs easily) burst through the back stock room swinging doors without warning into my direct path. I jumped out of the way with mere seconds to spare or I would have been run over and definitely injured at the speed she was going and yelled out “excuse me!” To try and illicit a response, just in case she did not see me there.
I got no response. No apology, no excuse me, just dead pan silence as she then stared at me as she went by. It felt VERY intentional. She even dropped off the merchandise at the back of the room, turned around and walked out without ever saying a word to me. The inventory manager even rushed over to me and asked if I was alright because she could see how aggressive it was.
The next incident involved the assistant manager threatening insubordination against me, and this is when I felt like she was using language to try and write me up for something. Over the weekend, the store manager (and NOT the assistant manager) completed a new visual set as directed by corporate. Since I was not present for it, I have been previously instructed by the store manager that if I feel there is a better option to fit the set to the corporate visual standard, I have the full power to make those changes behind him. This is because he prefers to set the floor set from the beginning himself and then let me go behind and tweak his work to “make it perfect.”
Since I was previously instructed to do this, when I came into work after the set had been changed, I then proceeded to “tweak” it. My honest contributions were changing the pants on one mannequin, swapping a necklace on another mannequin, and setting a hat shelf for a group of hats that were not set on the floor at all. While setting the hats, I was told that I immediately needed to stop what I was doing because “this floor set has already been set, so you changing it right now is insubordination.” I am smart enough to recognize when she adopted new vocabulary often seen in write ups that she was probably working on one. It was at this point I finally decided enough was enough, and I called HR.
The HR rep was very understanding and listened to my complaints. I do realize HR is there to protect the company more than anything, but with the hostile work environment she was creating I felt like she was a big liability to have on their hands. I complained about hostile work environment, retaliation, harassment, and discrimination because I was made to feel as if I should close because I’m childless. She told me she would investigate my claims and then report back.
To make a long story short, my suspicions were correct and the assistant manager has created an entire write up for my “attitude”that conveniently started the day after I told the store manager about the “private” conversation she had with me in the managers office. It took about a week from when I reported it, but HR did fire her for retaliation. I did not find out about the write up she had written until after she was fired.
There were a couple incidents in the week when HR was investigating her like her calling the district manager because I took our register money to the bank to get change as instructed by the store manager. She skipped calling the store manager entirely and just went straight to the district manager and attempted to make it seem as if I was stealing. The other incident involved her yelling in my face loudly at the register in front of multiple customers and calling me a liar because I corrected her on a work policy.
Once she was fired, she immediately started calling my personal cell phone multiple times. I did not answer. She then sent me a string of multiple threatening texts messages and also tried to say that my recording of our conversation was illegal (again, we live in a one-party recording state). She had a printed out copy of the law and I think is honestly dense enough to not understand that I am the one party to the recorded conversation, therefore making the recording not illegal. I told her to never text me again, and she then proceeded to get violent and threaten to fight me if I ever saw her again and call me multiple curse words. I decided to block her number, hoping that she’d move on.
The HR rep called to tell me they had “closed their investigation” and I’d be notified of the findings on my next shift, however I told the rep that I knew she was fired because she was calling me and sending me threatening text messages. IMO, the rep started to act indifferent and told me to “report it to my local authorities if I felt uncomfortable”
Now, over the past two weeks there has been an anonymous number calling the store asking to speak with me. I have yet to pick up one of these calls, however one of my coworkers did tell the person the first time that I was there. They asked to speak with me, and then when put on hold they immediately hung up. I was nervous she may try to show up, but nothing happened that I know of that night. I chalked it up to maybe it was just an actual customer.
However, today an anonymous number called again asking to speak with someone with my first name. We have two people who work there with my first name, so when my coworker asked “which one?” The anonymous caller immediately said my last name and described my physical features to a T. My coworker told the caller I wasn’t working that day, and they asked when I would return. She told them she doesn’t know the schedule so she can’t say, and then the caller hung up.
I have NEVER shared my last name with a customer, EVER and anyone who knows me well enough to know that information would just call my cell phone and definitely not from a blocked number. I have a strong suspicion this is her, although I’m extremely nervous as to why she would keep calling after it’s been weeks since she’s been fired.
What can I do to protect myself? Am I entitled to protection from my employer given the circumstances around her termination? Does this qualify for some kind of protective order? I genuinely do not feel safe going to work right now. I do not feel like I’ve been protected enough. I understand times are hard and the job market is tough, but she put herself in a position to be fired. The state of the economy makes me nervous that she may feel as if she doesn’t have anything to lose now.
TLDR: my assistant manager was fired for retaliation against me and is now threatening me and has physically harassed me in the past and is probably calling under a blocked number to get my work schedule.

Hello everyone and welcome to the bi-weekly Office Hours thread.
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The idea that the universe and its exquisite fine-tuning is the product of "self-organization" or "self-cause" is a woefully inadequate and logically incoherent attempt to explain away what is more reasonably attributed to the intentional activity of a transcendent intelligent Creator. As philosopher William Lane Craig argues, "The most plausible answer to the question of why something exists rather than nothing is that there is a necessarily existent being, God, who is the ground of being for everything else that exists." (Craig, 2008, p. 182)
The concept of "self-organization" posits that the staggeringly complex and finely-calibrated cosmos arose through mindless, unguided processes - that the unimaginably precise initial conditions and physical constants required for a life-permitting universe all fell into place by sheer chance or some inscrutable naturalistic mechanism. But as philosopher and mathematician William Dembski notes, "The amount of specified complexity in even the simplest life-forms is staggering. The probability of their occurrence by chance is unfathomably small. Attributing such specified complexity to blind natural causes is akin to attributing the integrated circuit to the blind heat of a kiln. It strains reason." (Dembski, 2004, p. 151)
In our uniform and repeated experience, specified complexity and informational richness invariably originate from minds, not mindless processes. As former atheist philosopher Antony Flew observes, "The only satisfactory explanation for the origin of such 'end-directed, self-replicating' life as we see on earth is an infinitely intelligent Mind." (Flew & Varghese, 2007, p. 132) To suggest that the functional complexity and apparent design of biological systems and the cosmos as a whole is the product of unguided natural processes is as absurd as suggesting that the informational content of software wrote itself, or that the faces on Mount Rushmore are the result of mere wind and erosion. It flouts the principle of abductive reasoning, which compels us to infer to the best explanation given our background knowledge. As philosopher Richard Swinburne contends, "The hypothesis of theism is a simple hypothesis which leads us to expect these observable phenomena, when no other simple hypothesis will do so." (Swinburne, 2004, p. 68)
Moreover, "self-cause" scenarios run aground on inescapable logical and metaphysical absurdities. They inevitably involve the universe somehow "causing itself" or "arising from nothing" - but this is patent nonsense. As Aristotle recognized, "Nothing can come from nothing, and nothing can become actual except it is potentially so." (Aristotle, Physics, 1.8) Being cannot spontaneously arise from non-being. Every contingent effect requires a sufficient non-contingent cause. As philosopher Alexander Pruss argues, "The Principle of Sufficient Reason (PSR) and the causal principle. . . provide strong reasons to suppose that there is an ultimate cause of contingent things and that this cause. . . is a necessary being." (Pruss, 2009)
An eternal, uncaused, immaterial, unimaginably powerful and intelligent Mind - in short, God - is a far more plausible and logically coherent explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos than naturalistic appeals to "self-cause." As philosopher Robin Collins concludes, "Given the fine-tuning evidence, the many-worlds hypothesis is at least no better as a theory for explaining the fine-tuning than the design hypothesis, and arguably is worse. . .[T]he inference to design is in this case the best explanation." (Collins, 2009, p. 274)
Those who deny this and attribute everything to "self-cause" are really just engaging in a thinly-veiled attempt to evade the obvious conclusion to which the evidence points - that our universe is the product of a transcendent and intentional Creator. They accuse theists of a "God of the gaps" approach while conveniently ignoring their own "self-cause of the gaps" explanatory failure.
Abductive logic and the principle of inferring to the best explanation compel the conclusion that an intelligent First Cause is the most plausible and causally adequate explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos. To quote Cambridge astrophysicist Sir Fred Hoyle, himself no theist, "A common sense interpretation of the facts suggests that a superintellect has monkeyed with physics. . . and that there are no blind forces worth speaking about in nature." (Hoyle, 1982, p. 12) The cosmos bears the unmistakable imprint of intentional design by a Supreme Intelligence. Naturalistic appeals to unguided "self-organization" simply fail to adequately account for its astounding sophistication and specificity.
In conclusion, the concept of "self-cause" is nothing more than an ad hoc "X of the gaps" attempt to deny what the evidence clearly indicates - that our universe is the product of an intentional and intelligent First Cause. Pushing the explanatory question back a step by appealing to an inscrutable "self-organizing" process is a glaring explanatory failure that runs aground on logical absurdities and violates the principle of abductive reasoning. A transcendent and superintelligent Creator remains the best and most causally adequate explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos.
References: - Aristotle. (4th c. BC) Physics. - Collins, R. (2009). The teleological argument. In W. L. Craig & J. P. Moreland (Eds.), The Blackwell Companion to Natural Theology (pp. 202-281). Wiley-Blackwell. - Craig, W. L. (2008). Reasonable Faith. 3rd ed. Crossway. - Dembski, W. (2004). The Design Revolution. InterVarsity Press. - Flew, A. & Varghese, R. A. (2007). There Is a God. HarperOne. - Hoyle, F. (1982). The Universe: Past and Present Reflections. Annual Review of Astronomy and Astrophysics. Vol. 20, pp. 1-35. - Pruss, A. (2009). The Leibnizian Cosmological Argument. In W. L. Craig & J. P. Moreland (Eds.), The Blackwell Companion to Natural Theology (pp. 24-100). Wiley-Blackwell. - Swinburne, R. (2004). The Existence of God. 2nd ed. Oxford University Press.

The idea that the universe and its exquisite fine-tuning is the product of "self-organization" or "self-cause" is a woefully inadequate and logically incoherent attempt to explain away what is more reasonably attributed to the intentional activity of a transcendent intelligent Creator. As philosopher William Lane Craig argues, "The most plausible answer to the question of why something exists rather than nothing is that there is a necessarily existent being, God, who is the ground of being for everything else that exists." (Craig, 2008, p. 182)
The concept of "self-organization" posits that the staggeringly complex and finely-calibrated cosmos arose through mindless, unguided processes - that the unimaginably precise initial conditions and physical constants required for a life-permitting universe all fell into place by sheer chance or some inscrutable naturalistic mechanism. But as philosopher and mathematician William Dembski notes, "The amount of specified complexity in even the simplest life-forms is staggering. The probability of their occurrence by chance is unfathomably small. Attributing such specified complexity to blind natural causes is akin to attributing the integrated circuit to the blind heat of a kiln. It strains reason." (Dembski, 2004, p. 151)
In our uniform and repeated experience, specified complexity and informational richness invariably originate from minds, not mindless processes. As former atheist philosopher Antony Flew observes, "The only satisfactory explanation for the origin of such 'end-directed, self-replicating' life as we see on earth is an infinitely intelligent Mind." (Flew & Varghese, 2007, p. 132) To suggest that the functional complexity and apparent design of biological systems and the cosmos as a whole is the product of unguided natural processes is as absurd as suggesting that the informational content of software wrote itself, or that the faces on Mount Rushmore are the result of mere wind and erosion. It flouts the principle of abductive reasoning, which compels us to infer to the best explanation given our background knowledge. As philosopher Richard Swinburne contends, "The hypothesis of theism is a simple hypothesis which leads us to expect these observable phenomena, when no other simple hypothesis will do so." (Swinburne, 2004, p. 68)
Moreover, "self-cause" scenarios run aground on inescapable logical and metaphysical absurdities. They inevitably involve the universe somehow "causing itself" or "arising from nothing" - but this is patent nonsense. As Aristotle recognized, "Nothing can come from nothing, and nothing can become actual except it is potentially so." (Aristotle, Physics, 1.8) Being cannot spontaneously arise from non-being. Every contingent effect requires a sufficient non-contingent cause. As philosopher Alexander Pruss argues, "The Principle of Sufficient Reason (PSR) and the causal principle. . . provide strong reasons to suppose that there is an ultimate cause of contingent things and that this cause. . . is a necessary being." (Pruss, 2009)
An eternal, uncaused, immaterial, unimaginably powerful and intelligent Mind - in short, God - is a far more plausible and logically coherent explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos than naturalistic appeals to "self-cause." As philosopher Robin Collins concludes, "Given the fine-tuning evidence, the many-worlds hypothesis is at least no better as a theory for explaining the fine-tuning than the design hypothesis, and arguably is worse. . .[T]he inference to design is in this case the best explanation." (Collins, 2009, p. 274)
Those who deny this and attribute everything to "self-cause" are really just engaging in a thinly-veiled attempt to evade the obvious conclusion to which the evidence points - that our universe is the product of a transcendent and intentional Creator. They accuse theists of a "God of the gaps" approach while conveniently ignoring their own "self-cause of the gaps" explanatory failure.
Abductive logic and the principle of inferring to the best explanation compel the conclusion that an intelligent First Cause is the most plausible and causally adequate explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos. To quote Cambridge astrophysicist Sir Fred Hoyle, himself no theist, "A common sense interpretation of the facts suggests that a superintellect has monkeyed with physics. . . and that there are no blind forces worth speaking about in nature." (Hoyle, 1982, p. 12) The cosmos bears the unmistakable imprint of intentional design by a Supreme Intelligence. Naturalistic appeals to unguided "self-organization" simply fail to adequately account for its astounding sophistication and specificity.
In conclusion, the concept of "self-cause" is nothing more than an ad hoc "X of the gaps" attempt to deny what the evidence clearly indicates - that our universe is the product of an intentional and intelligent First Cause. Pushing the explanatory question back a step by appealing to an inscrutable "self-organizing" process is a glaring explanatory failure that runs aground on logical absurdities and violates the principle of abductive reasoning. A transcendent and superintelligent Creator remains the best and most causally adequate explanation for the origin and fine-tuning of the cosmos.
References: - Aristotle. (4th c. BC) Physics. - Collins, R. (2009). The teleological argument. In W. L. Craig & J. P. Moreland (Eds.), The Blackwell Companion to Natural Theology (pp. 202-281). Wiley-Blackwell. - Craig, W. L. (2008). Reasonable Faith. 3rd ed. Crossway. - Dembski, W. (2004). The Design Revolution. InterVarsity Press. - Flew, A. & Varghese, R. A. (2007). There Is a God. HarperOne. - Hoyle, F. (1982). The Universe: Past and Present Reflections. Annual Review of Astronomy and Astrophysics. Vol. 20, pp. 1-35. - Pruss, A. (2009). The Leibnizian Cosmological Argument. In W. L. Craig & J. P. Moreland (Eds.), The Blackwell Companion to Natural Theology (pp. 24-100). Wiley-Blackwell. - Swinburne, R. (2004). The Existence of God. 2nd ed. Oxford University Press.

Vlad's Distressed Mistress: A New FNAF Theory....
A while ago, I came across a new perspective on a commonly overlooked part of the FNAF franchise, and I couldn’t help but not go deeper and share my findings. Plus with the advent of new FNAF content, this topic only seems to get more and more interesting.
Back in FNAF Sister Location, at the end of nearly each night, we find ourselves in what we assume to be Mike's house, where he spends some time watching a show called 'The Immortal and the Restless.' For those who may be new to the franchise, this four episode show seems to be styled after late 50's soap operas. Specifically, it is very similar in style and music to a real life soap opera called 'As The World Turns' from 1956 and also has a similar naming convention as 'The Young and the Restless' from 1973.
In Immortal, we catch a glimpse into the lives of Vlad the vampire and Clara, who are shown to be consistently on edge with each-other.
At a glance, this doesn't seem like much, but as I delved deeper I noticed many things that I have never heard or seen talked about in the FNAF community. So here it is, my notes and theories on what Scott might be trying to tell us through 'The Immortal and the Restless.'
Sources:

• The Five Nights at Freddie’s Ultimate Guide
• The Immortal and the Restless Series from FNaF Sister Location
• Five Nights at Freddie’s Fazbear Frights Book #1: Into the Pit Stitchwraith Stinger
• Five Nights at Freddie’s Security Breach
• Five Nights at Freddie’s The Movie

NOTE #1: William Afton had an Affair
As I was reading the Ultimate Guide, I came across the script for The Immortal and the Restless on pages 420 and 421. But what got me thinking wasn't what Vlad or Clara said, but it was the first lines that was spoken by the narrator.
In episodes 1 & 2 of I&R, Clara is described by the narrator as ‘Vlad’s distressed mistress…’
Immortal and the Restless: Episode 1
Narrator: Another day, another dramatic entry in the lives of Vlad and his distressed mistress!
Narrator: Will Vlad and hisdistressed mistressfind common ground? Tune in next time!
Immoral and the Restless: Episode 2
*Narrator: As the sun sets, so does another chapter in the saga of love lost between Vlad and his distressed mistress…
The fact that this phrasing was used three times got me to thinking. To start, what does the word mistress mean? According to to the official Oxford Language website, the word has two meanings;

1. A woman in a position of power or authority
2. A woman having a extramarital sexual relationship, especially with a married man.

With this in mind, I am under the impression that Vlad and Clara are NOT married. Clara does brings up a Dimond ring in episode 4: ‘Well, how’s this? Im keeping the diamond ring.’ I believe that she is most likely referring to a engagement ring, which only further cements my initial observation that these two are NOT married.
Through-out the story of I&R I find no evidence that Vlad and Clara are married. From the language used in the script to even watching the shorts closely and taking note of their hands for wedding bands. Nothing. They are referred to as ‘long lost lovers’ and ‘star-crossed lovers’, but nothing that indicated that they officially ‘tied the knot’.
With this information, I believe that Vlad had an affair with Clara and cheated on Mrs. Vlad. Then, if we are to assume that Vlad is a representation of William Afton in this story, than I believe that Willam had an affair with another woman. This is why Mrs. Afton left, sure William was probably consumed by his work with the animatronics, but the fact that he cheated on her is most likely what sent her off the edge.
NOTE #2: Child Support
As I was reading trough the I&R script again, there are a few times that the story brings up Vlad having to pay child support.
Immortal and The Restless: Episode 1
Clara: Well, then, at least pay your child support, you deadbeat!
Immortal and the Restless: Episode 4
Narrator: But what about the baby? What about the back child support?
Why would Vlad have to pay child support? If we are building off of the theory that Vlad cheated on his wife, she probably filed for divorce and demanded custody of the baby. A custody battle ensued, with Vlad coming out on top, giving us an explanation of why we see the baby with him in I&R. I then looked through-out the franchise and, wouldn’t you know it, there is a reference to a custody case in three other places.
1.Fazbear Frights Stitchwraith Stinger #1 (The Books)**
In the first Stitchwraith stinger at the end of the first Fazbear Frights book Into the Pit, we meet Detective Larson who just divorced his wife and is in the middle of a custody battle over their seven-year-old son Ryan.
2.Five Nights at Freddie’s Security Breach: Retro CD 4-7140 (A Modern Game)**
In Retro CD 4-7140, while having a session with Vanessa, the therapist brings up the fact that Vanessa’s father, Bill, ‘didn’t play fair’ when he was in a custody battle with Vanessa’s mother. Quote from the game;
Therapist: I know you do. Your supervisor notes that you follow instructions perfectly. Your dad made you follow instructions, didn’t he? I’m talking about the custody battle between your mom and your dad. Your dad didn’t play it fair, did he? He used to make your mom look bad in court.
While this snippet could be used to explain how Vanessa got to where she is in the game, I think that this has a deeper meaning that could relate to this story in I&R.
3.Five Nights at Freddie’s The Movie**
In Five Nights at Freddie’s Movie, one of the main points of the film is that Mike was *fighting for custody** of his sister Abby against their horrible aunt. It is one of, if not the main reason why Mike accepted the job at Freddie’s in the first place.
With all of this in mind, the biggest question is WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Ok, so William Afton had a custody battle, but for which child? Is it Crying Child? Is it Michael? Or is it Elizabeth? What other implications does this have on the lore overall? For that, I am still working out an answer.
Regardless, the fact that this comes up FOUR different times in multiple aspects of the franchise gives me more than enough reason to think that Scott is trying to tell us something. Now, I personally do not have open access to either the Fazbear Frights or Tales from the Pizzaplex series, so there could be a chance that there could be more cases of custody battles. For that, I reach out to you, my fellow theorists, please comment down below and let me know if there are other instances of this in the franchise.

Terrible place to work, great spot to skate. To put it succinctly, I had volunteered for the female skateboard collective and Cinema Five for a combined three years. Since most children were either total beginners or very near to being so, we were never trained in anything other than first aid and were only expected to know the fundamentals. Neither I nor any of my other volunteer buddies received any helpful feedback about how I behaved or instructed the children while I was volunteering. I had personal friendships with several of the employees, including the manager's son, and I recall being told repeatedly how great I was as a volunteer and that all I needed to do to become a better coach was to keep getting better at skating so I could be able to teach all levels when it’s required (which it wasn’t required often.). Because of my volunteer experience, I was hired for summer camps before my resume was even received. When I first started actually working there, the only instructions provided were to make the kids happy and want to come back. When there were occurrences involving children, our superiors never offered us criticism—instead, they assured us the matter was handled skillfully and that all was well. Then we are informed after the second week that we require a more rigorous schedule and certain day-by-day themes (which summer students or skate instructors could not adhere to since we had to wear the merchandise to look “professional”). We planned specific activities for each day. We talked about all of the week's planned in meetings. Once more, there was no discussion or critiques of our behaviour. By the end of the month, the board managers began to participate more and conduct more check-ins. We had a packed schedule of events planned for the upcoming week since our camp was vacant. That week, we had a group of fifty children visit us twice; they were different children each time so it was very busy, but I'll talk about them later. We had a group of four kids in the program during the final week of camps before the big week. They were maybe 11 or 12 years old and were really not into the idea of skating, so a lot of the conversations we had were encouraging them to just try skating and all the pros of it, making agreements about if they skated they would be able to scooter like they wanted to. They seemed compliant after a bit and alright with the idea of skating but you can’t with them all so we still allowed them to scooter, all was well. Until later that week when I'm called up to the office and informed someone made a complaint about how a summer student had told their kid they'd skate better if they smoked week. I requested specifics from the manager presiding over the meeting; how was this stated? Who stated this, according to them? What did the purported speaker of this look like? Because, at this point, they never mentioned that I said it, and I knew, of course, that I hadn't as dealing with kids all week every week for a long while had gotten me used to not bringing up any type of drugs, alcohol or swears. Just any word or situation you wouldn’t want your kid coming home and asking about was rid of my vocabulary and knowledge. After that led nowhere, the rest of my coworkers were brought up, and all of a sudden they had answers to all of the questions I asked, answers that clearly identified me. That meeting was never truly resolved though I was the apparent culprit of the weed comment. That was my first incident that got reported, but it was ultimately dismissed as a misunderstanding. The next week was the big week, we are promised a fully compensated activity day on Wednesday and everyone agrees to just go to someone's camp and hang out at the beach and relax, as every other day was spent in meetings or teaching kids. On Monday, we practice how to teach the children who are supposed to arrive the following day. We also (finally) learn appropriate and inappropriate behaviour, how to manage big groups of people, and mostly go over the schedule of the day, including what we will do with the children, what we will offer for lunch, and what activities we will engage in. When Tuesday finally arrives, the kids are three hours late. We all got up early to get to the park by nine, and we simply hung about until the kids got there. There is a maximum of 20 when they arrive (we were told there was 50). We begin teaching, feed them an early lunch, and then half of us are let out for a break. Since our couches are located in the skatepark, we go hang out there. After a leisurely morning, I dozed off for fifteen minutes. A coworker wakes me up and tells me to go back to work for the remainder of the day once my breaks are over. After a full day of work, just before we all head home, a few of us are called aside for a discussion regarding criticisms from the day. The meeting is held in the parking lot, which isn't exactly in the most pleasant area of the city. We're all quite weary and just want to go home. I'm crouching down, listening to the talk, and the woman hosting it seems to take offence at my crouching questioning whether I'm okay. I answer, "Yes, I'm just tired." She makes a little fuss over it, and I take a stand but don't give it much more thought and just finish the discussion and go home. When Wednesday finally arrives, everyone is anticipating the beach day. However, when we get there, we find out it's not happening and that we will be holding a large meeting to discuss our course of actions. Everyone except for me is assigned to work for the time being, and I'm pulled aside and called upstairs. In the beginning, I made jokes with the skate instructor as we were buddies I made a joke like “am I getting fired this time?” And he awkwardly laughed it off which made the mood weird, so while we waited for the manager, we talked about random topics (I assume he had a feeling of what was happening but no confirmation.) mostly trying to get a less tense mood. She enters, sits down, and takes out images of me—one of me having a sip of water on the side, and another of me lying on the couch during my break—asking me what I was doing. I tell her exactly what the pictures depict. Although I agree that the sleeping incident was not the most professional, I was informed that we should only sleep during breaks, which it was my break. Regarding the drinking water incident, I'm accused of not performing my job and of standing by while others do. I'm also asked "what if" a supervisor or a mother of a child were to walk in and witness me drinking water; how would they feel about it if they knew I was doing nothing to assist their children? I choose not to respond since, quite frankly, I was never going to concede that drinking water was a sign of incompetence given that it was a common occurrence. The manager then brings up how the woman thought it was really disrespectful of me to be crouching. I countered that I was just tired and that the parking lot didn’t give me the indication that it was a formal meeting, but she still felt that it was disrespectful. When it came down to it, I was placed on three days of unpaid suspension. I was obviously furious, but I also wanted a break because it was only three days. My pals quickly found out, and obviously as a 16 year old, I texted them about it and joked about making fun and shit talking the skatepark, just like the last guy who got fired did (His one-star rating, which essentially criticizes the parks' hygiene, is still there on the page if you'd like to look at it.). Jokes aside I meant no harm, and my jokes never left the safety of my friends as I still more or less respected the manager and business. I realized that maybe I should focus on being more professional and that since I would be returning to my job on Tuesday, the punishment wasn't too severe and I got off lucky. On Monday, the final day of my suspension, I received a call from my boss informing me that my position was terminated because of the messages I had sent that appeared to be "bashing the park." I attempt to explain that they were just jokes as I worked there and obviously I wouldn’t actually do the same thing the guy did. But I was brushed off and told to have a nice day before she promptly hung up on me. It turns out that her son, with whom I had been friends, captured a picture of our conversations in which I joked about the guy who had been dismissed earlier by saying, "f Cinema five." It was a cropped screenshot, so you couldn't see the entire conversation, but it did appear to be what she was accusing me of.
I wasn’t reprimanded for any similar experiences where I’d slept on the couch, or drank my water, or sat weirdly in a meeting. Only when the board got involved was I told the way I acted was unprofessional and inappropriate after almost three years of volunteering with no critiques, after Being hired simply based off of how I volunteered. The entire meaning of her starting this business has been lost, you are just like every other “inclusive” business milking certain aspects of life for your own profit, you don’t care about being inclusive anymore unless you’re running low on money. I remember when you first started with FBC how well it was managed and how welcoming of a community it is and now all you care about is beating eclectic due to some grudge you’ve held against the owner for years. You behave as though you are my age, still taking to blocking people on social media when you’re unhappy with them. Get out of the skate community because clearly you don’t care for it like you should.
Another thing to be mentioned: people were very laid back the entirety of my volunteering career, we would have water wars with the kids, you could spin them around holding them by their arms, and one of the instructors literally has his asscrack out all the time, swinging his butt around like no ones watching.

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

I AM A BORN & RAISED UNITED STATES CITIZEN:

• Unlike some tutors advertising on Reddit, I am a native-born and raised American citizen with an authentic natural U.S. American accent.
• I am half Irish, half Italian, but 100% American.
• I have received a complete American education from an NJ Elementary School, an NJ middle school, an NJ high school, and 2 NJ universities.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

I SPEAK LIKE A GENTLEMAN:

• I have absolutely no reservations with allowing interested students the opportunity to analyze & assess my intonations & inflections my erudite diction my unique vocabulary & word choice suburban upper-middle-class American accent my tone & pitch my articulation to get a better idea of the way I present myself.

I HAVE A UNIQUE VOICEMAIL GREETING:

• If you call my phone number and I don't pick up the phone in time, my voicemail recording will play.
• I recorded my voicemail message in my own voice introducing myself as Jim O'Hara and explaining my services.
• A professional tutor running a serious business should have a unique voicemail greeting regarding their services.

I’M POLITE & WELL-MANNERED:

• I consider myself to be a very well-mannered and polite person.
• I always try to speak & text in a clean proper matter without using any obscenities or R-rated language.
• Please be wary of anyone using inappropriate R-rated language (example: f-bombs, C U Next Tuesday, sh*t).
• A professional tutor should carry themselves with dignity and class.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

• If you are interested in my services and would like to learn more info, please feel free to reach out to me.
• Text messages and email are the fastest and easiest ways to get in touch with me. However, I gladly accept phone calls.
• If I don't respond right away, I am most likely helping a student at the time and not currently available to speak on the phone. But I always make a solid effort to reply to texts, emails, and phone calls within an hour.
• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

OCT 2021 UPDATE: I am currently offering discount deals for requests for assistance with completing a student's entire course for the Fall 2021 semester (14 - 20 week courses acceptable), as well as discounts for students seeking help with multiple exams and/or multiple classes for Fall 2021. My availability for the Autumn 2021 / Fall 2021 semester will likely become limited very quickly as I receive more and more academic requests. Therefore it would be very advantageous to reach out to me for academic assistance before my schedule becomes too full.
MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:

• Name You Prefer to Be Called
• Name of the Class You Need Help With
• Type of Assessment Help Needed: (Entire Course, Exams Only, HW Assignment, Essay, etc.)

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

I AM A BORN & RAISED UNITED STATES CITIZEN:

• Unlike some tutors advertising on Reddit, I am a native-born and raised American citizen with an authentic natural U.S. American accent.
• I am half Irish, half Italian, but 100% American.
• I have received a complete American education from an NJ Elementary School, an NJ middle school, an NJ high school, and 2 NJ universities.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

I SPEAK LIKE A GENTLEMAN:

• I have absolutely no reservations with allowing interested students the opportunity to analyze & assess my intonations & inflections my erudite diction my unique vocabulary & word choice suburban upper-middle-class American accent my tone & pitch my articulation to get a better idea of the way I present myself.

I HAVE A UNIQUE VOICEMAIL GREETING:

• If you call my phone number and I don't pick up the phone in time, my voicemail recording will play.
• I recorded my voicemail message in my own voice introducing myself as Jim O'Hara and explaining my services.
• A professional tutor running a serious business should have a unique voicemail greeting regarding their services.

I’M POLITE & WELL-MANNERED:

• I consider myself to be a very well-mannered and polite person.
• I always try to speak & text in a clean proper matter without using any obscenities or R-rated language.
• Please be wary of anyone using inappropriate R-rated language (example: f-bombs, C U Next Tuesday, sh*t).
• A professional tutor should carry themselves with dignity and class.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

• If you are interested in my services and would like to learn more info, please feel free to reach out to me.
• Text messages and email are the fastest and easiest ways to get in touch with me. However, I gladly accept phone calls.
• If I don't respond right away, I am most likely helping a student at the time and not currently available to speak on the phone. But I always make a solid effort to reply to texts, emails, and phone calls within an hour.
• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!

OCT 2021 UPDATE: I am currently offering discount deals for requests for assistance with completing a student's entire course for the Fall 2021 semester (14 - 20 week courses acceptable), as well as discounts for students seeking help with multiple exams and/or multiple classes for Fall 2021. My availability for the Autumn 2021 / Fall 2021 semester will likely become limited very quickly as I receive more and more academic requests. Therefore it would be very advantageous to reach out to me for academic assistance before my schedule becomes too full.
MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:

• Name You Prefer to Be Called
• Name of the Class You Need Help With
• Type of Assessment Help Needed: (Entire Course, Exams Only, HW Assignment, Essay, etc.)

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: info@hiraedu. com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:

• Online Courses (1 - 20 Weeks Long)
• Homework Assignments
• Exams Quizzes Tests
• Excel Projects
• Discussion Forum Posts
• Research Papers Term Papers Essays
• Employment Assessments

MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:

• Advanced Placement Honors High School Level Math
• AP Calculus AB A.P. Calculus BC
• AP Statistics
• Biostatistics Bio-Statistics
• College Algebra Intermediate Algebra
• Business Calculus
• Business Statistics
• Business Math
• Calculus I Calculus II Calculus III (Calc)
• Geometry
• International Baccalaureate (IB) Maths
• Liberal Arts Math
• Logic & Reasoning
• Multivariable Calculus Multi variable Calculus
• Precalculus Pre-calculus
• Probability & Statistics
• Psychology Statistics Psych Stats
• Quantitative Reasoning Quantitative Methods Quantitative Literacy (Quant)
• Statistics (Stats)
• Statistics for Social Sciences
• Trigonometry (Trig)

STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):

• I have a master's degree in Applied Statistics from a university in New Jersey, USA. As a result, I am very proficient in helping students with various types of Statistics courses including Biostatistics Business Statistics Elementary Statistics Probability & Statistics Psychology Statistics.
• I have extensive knowledge and skill with helping students get through various statistical concepts including all of the following in alphabetical order:
• ANOVA Bar Graph, Boxplot, Dot Plot, Histogram, Pie Chart Bias Binomial, Exponential, Poisson, Gamma, Uniform Distribution Central Limit Theorem Chi-Square Test Coefficient of Determination (R^2) Conditional & Relative Probability Confidence Interval Correlation Coefficient (r) Critical Region Critical Value Descriptive & Inferential Statistics Effect Size Expected Value Experiment vs Observation Goodness of Fit Test Hypothesis Testing Interpolation & Extrapolation Interquartile Range (IQR) Kurtosis Left, Negative, Right, Positive Skewed Distribution Logistic Regression Mean, Median, Mode, Midrange Multiple Regression Nominal, Ordinal, Interval, Ratio I Population Parameter Normal, Symmetric & Bell Shaped Distribution Null & Alternate Hypothesis One & Two Sample T-Test One & Two Sample Z-Test Ordinary Least Squares Outliers P-Value Pooled Variance (Equal Variances) Proportion R^2 Range Regression Regression Line Reject & Fail to Reject Ho Relative & Cumulative Frequency Distributions Relativity & Reliability Right, Left, One, Two Tailed Tailed Hypothesis Test Sample Statistics Sampling Methods (Convenience, Stratified, Simple, Cluster, Systematic) Significance Level (1%, 5%, 10%) Skewness Standard Deviation& Variance T-Score Test Statistic Time Series Type I & Type II Errors Unbiased Estimators Z-Score

ALGEBRA HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Algebra 1 & 2 College Algebra Intermediate Algebra Pre-Algebra and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following algebra topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute Values Circle Equation Domain Exponents Graphing Horizontal & Vertical Asymptotes Inequalities, Equations & Functions Inverse Functions Linear, Exponential, Logarithmic, Quadratic Equations Logarithms Maximum & Minimum Values of a Graph Number Lines One-to-One Functions Parallel & Perpendicular Lines Plotting Points & Ordered Pairs Point-Slope Form Polynomial Division Polynomials Radicals Range Rational & Irrational Expressions Rational Functions Real Roots Real Zeros Relations & Functions Slope Slope-Intercept Form Square Roots Standard Form of a Line System of Equations System of Inequalities Variables X and Y Intercepts

CALCULUS HELP:

• I am well-versed in helping students do well in Calculus I, II & III, Calculus 1, 2 & 3, Business Calculus, Multivariable Calculus, Vector Calculus and I am very knowledgeable and proficient in the following calculus topics in alphabetical order:
• Absolute & Local Maximum and Minimum Antiderivative Area & Volume Chain Rule Concavity Continuity Convergence Test Critical Points Curvature Curve of Rotation Curve Sketching Derivatives Divergence Test First & Second Derivative Test Fourier Series Implicit Differentiation Increasing / Decreasing Functions Infinite Series Integrals Integration by Parts Jacobian Matrix Limits L’Hopital’s Rule Maclaurin Series Mean Value Theorem Partial Derivative Product & Quotient Rule Reiman Sum Related Rates Simpson’s Rule Solid of Revolution Substitution Rule Taylor Series

ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:

• I firmly believe that I have many attributes and skills that set me apart from other tutors. Below is a list of qualities that makes me an ideal fit to help you master your coursework:

I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:

• Proficient in CollegeBoard AP Calculus AB, AP Calculus BC & AP Statistics exams.
• Skilled with International Baccalaureate Math Exams: IB Maths HL & IB Maths SL
• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: info@hiraedu. com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

I AM A BORN & RAISED UNITED STATES CITIZEN:

• Unlike some tutors advertising on Reddit, I am a native-born and raised American citizen with an authentic natural U.S. American accent.
• I am half Irish, half Italian, but 100% American.
• I have received a complete American education from an NJ Elementary School, an NJ middle school, an NJ high school, and 2 NJ universities.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

I SPEAK LIKE A GENTLEMAN:

• I have absolutely no reservations with allowing interested students the opportunity to analyze & assess my intonations & inflections my erudite diction my unique vocabulary & word choice suburban upper-middle-class American accent my tone & pitch my articulation to get a better idea of the way I present myself.

I HAVE A UNIQUE VOICEMAIL GREETING:

• If you call my phone number and I don't pick up the phone in time, my voicemail recording will play.
• I recorded my voicemail message in my own voice introducing myself as Jim O'Hara and explaining my services.
• A professional tutor running a serious business should have a unique voicemail greeting regarding their services.

I’M POLITE & WELL-MANNERED:

• I consider myself to be a very well-mannered and polite person.
• I always try to speak & text in a clean proper matter without using any obscenities or R-rated language.
• Please be wary of anyone using inappropriate R-rated language (example: f-bombs, C U Next Tuesday, sh*t).
• A professional tutor should carry themselves with dignity and class.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

• If you are interested in my services and would like to learn more info, please feel free to reach out to me.
• Text messages and email are the fastest and easiest ways to get in touch with me. However, I gladly accept phone calls.
• If I don't respond right away, I am most likely helping a student at the time and not currently available to speak on the phone. But I always make a solid effort to reply to texts, emails, and phone calls within an hour.
  
• I take my work as a tutor very seriously, and I always aim to do my best to help my students excel in school. I have a solid and sincere passion for academic achievement, and with my help, I am positive that I can help students obtain very high grades with minimal stress and effort.
  
• Please feel free to contact me if you're interested in my services and would like to learn more. I'm available 24/7 via phone call, email, and text. Again, thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit tutoring ad, and I hope to hear from you soon!
  

OCT 2021 UPDATE: I am currently offering discount deals for requests for assistance with completing a student's entire course for the Fall 2021 semester (14 - 20 week courses acceptable), as well as discounts for students seeking help with multiple exams and/or multiple classes for Fall 2021. My availability for the Autumn 2021 / Fall 2021 semester will likely become limited very quickly as I receive more and more academic requests. Therefore it would be very advantageous to reach out to me for academic assistance before my schedule becomes too full.
MY CONTACT INFO:

• Email: info@hiraedu. com
• WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
• Call: +1 727 456 9641
• Important: Please contact me via text or call to get the fastest response possible. I don't check Reddit Messenger very often.

IMPORTANT: When reaching out, please try to include the following information in the initial text message or email so that I can have all the important details necessary to determine the rate for my services:

• Name You Prefer to Be Called
• Name of the Class You Need Help With
• Type of Assessment Help Needed: (Entire Course, Exams Only, HW Assignment, Essay, etc.)

A first timer's cruise on Aida may 1st - may 5th
​
Since I used this group to prepare for my cruise it seems only fair to give a little back to the community and write up my impressions. Besides, Aida, the German market subsidiary of Costa, isn't a company that's discussed much here.
​
About us We're a 50 year old Dutch couple living in the west of the Netherlands. We've never cruised before but our children are now of an age that makes it an option to leave them at home and enjoy a vacation with the two of us. As is fairly typical for people in this country that consistently tops the English proficiency index list our English quite good and our German is mediocre mainly due to lack of practice. I've visited Germany for business trips quite regularly and we've take summer holidays in Austria the past few years.
​
The cruise We've had ideas about taking a very special holiday as a couple for some time now. Several ideas on our lists are luxury cruises in exotic locations but we realised we have no idea if we'd actually enjoy one. So we booked a short cruise to try it out. We opted for a 5 day cruise Warnemunde-Gotheborg-Aarhus-Copenhagen-Warnemunde.
​
Booking Rather than booking through an agent we booked directly on the company's website. We found two basic options, they choose your cabin within the category you pick or you can do it for a surcharge. Since it's important to us to have twin beds and no double we picked the more expensive option and chose a sea view cabin at the front end of deck 4, the lowest passenger deck. You're not expect to pay right away but you get an invoice in the mail after several days. Once that confirms your booking you can start ordering excursions. We had a long look at those and noticed that quite a few nice excursions were already sold out or started very late in the day. So an 0800 mooring and then an excursion at 1530 the same day starting at the ship. So what are you supposed to do with the rest of the time?
We also used Aida's website to book parking on a partner company. 60 euros for parking for the duration of the trip in a guarded parking area and shuttle service to the ship.
​
Embarkation Aida uses a high ceiling glass building at the port. At the entrance very surely security staff that is there to check your paperwork to make sure you're not there a minute too early or too late, you've got a 30 minute slot for embarkation and you better be there!
Inside Aida blasts some 90s pop at volumes high enough that I struggled to hear the boarding agent.But we had our reservation papers and she quickly gave us two preprinted barcode cards which are your key to everything on board.
At the security check they confiscated some snacks even though they met Aida's rules for pre-packaged foods. It also seemed that they'd learned customer service at the same class as the people at the door. Ship's own security staff were really friendly.
Also interesting to note that a LOT of people were already wearing an Aida lanyard around their necks. We discovered later that this is apparently a thing among fans to build a collection of aida branded lanyards and to display their brand loyalty this way.
​
Cabin We'd opted for a sea view on the front of deck 4. Turned out to be a good spot mostly. Fairly quiet, except when mooring and just a minute walk to the embarkation area on deck 3. Cabin itself is small but did look exactly like the brochure. Clean. I was glad that the top 2 fold down bunks were there, this allowed me to take a mattress from there and put over the first since it was rather thin. Our package included 2 bottles of water per day which were promptly supplied by housekeeping. It did not include the extra, extra large bathrobe I'd requested at no extra charge at booking. I'm really tall so a normal bathrobe barely covers the essentials. Our sleep was good most days except one when it was quite windy and they used the stabilisers a lot which caused a sensation like someone shaking your bed.
​
Being tall on board OK, I'm used to my feet sticking out the end of a bed, I can deal with that. I'm less used to walking with a slight stoop in corridors to avoid head injuries from sprinklers or exit signs. Entering elevators did involve some serious ducking down and maybe it was me looming over other people that caused people to almost never share an elevator with us?
​
Food and drink There's 2 buffet restaurants on board which serve differently themed food at lunch and dinner while breakfast is pretty much the same. Quality wasn't bad most of the time but it wasn't really great either. I think breakfast was probably the best meal with loads of German classics as well as standard international fair and good breads. We were pleasantly surprised the first morning that one of the waitresses brought a whole pot of coffee to our table but we didn't understand why their coffee was cheap and weak tasting. The instant coffee we found at the tea counter (which had really good quality teas) was a better option.
If you made an effort it was certainly possible to eat healthy. Only thing they didn't ever understand was crispy fries, it was all British style soggy. There's an Asian restaurant which has 2 or 3 pre cooked dishes and a selection of raw ingredients you can pick and mix and have a cook prepare for you (without much in the way of seasoning) while you wait at your table. The concept isn't bad but the execution is, the buffet area is extremely crowded and there's no real room to do the necessary queuing for the cooks. Poorly thought out this.
Seating at all free restaurant was free, just find something. Dress code was no shorts and that was mostly followed.
The burger bar, Burgers at sea or something is an f-ing disgrace. A half hour wait gets you a small burger of very dry meat, a tiny cup of very sweet coleslaw and a mini portion of soggy fries. The steakhouse, one of the two restaurants on board where you pay for food and drink, was actually really nice. Good service, the "bison"meat was great and it is indeed cooked exactly to order. Worth the money!
We're not big drinkers so only tried the bar once or twice, would have gone more often if they offered decent coffee but for some reason they have Starbucks. Nice selection of gins, disappointing range of beers. No bar snacks except some cheap salty peanuts.
There's no room service.
The drinks package for our cruise for some strange reason only allowed for soft drinks and coffees. Apparently our trip was one day too short for the full drinks package. This didn't seem worth it considering they use a coffee brand we really do not like.
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Excursions Can't say much about those. We bought hop on/off tickets for Gothenburg and Copenhagen. Nearly bought a harbour tour at Aarhus but it was members only and for some bizarre reason the system allowed me to book but not my wife. By the time we'd sorted that out it was sold out.
After mooring in a Harbour you're herded to the buses in a fairly effective matter making it impossible to get lost.
Gothenburg's mooring location was really far from the city. At Copenhagen it was close enough that the hop on bus company actually ran shuttle buses to the cruise terminal. At Aarhus we moored within easy walking distance of the city. All three cities didn't exactly provide a scenic harbour.
​
Gothenburg: City is a big construction zone. Fair bit of shopping, nice art museum. Good food and the old streets of Haga neighbourhood are a fun tourist attraction (tip: don't go for the cinnamon buns at that cafe with the huge line but the one 50 metres west)
​
Aarhus: Lovely provincial university town. Aaros is a must see if you have any connection at all with modern art. The Gamla By is pretty unique in being an open air museum focussed on urban instead of rural setting.
​
Copenhagen: Did the bus tour to see something of the city, quickly strolled through the masses at the old harbour and got very distracted by the Tivoli amusement park which features a roller coaster more than a century old.
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Wellness/sauna The sauna's nice, really clean, located at the top of the ship for a great view and a steal at 5 euros an hour. It's also a mixed gender naked sauna which suits us fine. We considered a wellness treatment of some kind but the staff person at the desk didn't exactly make this an attractive option to book so we skipped that.
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Information flow Ask a question to two different staff members and get two different answers. Onboard, use the app? The bordportal (ship's intranet) and log on with your email? Booking number? An arbitrarily assigned pin code? Eventually we learned that the paper program delivered to our door was most reliable best source of information
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Pool deck or rather the smoking deck Didn't try the actual pool it's tiny and crowded. On boarding day we did spend an hour or two on the loungers on the deck above the pool level it because it was exceptionally nice weather on the departure day. And then the constant smell of cigarette smoke got on our nerves. Because Germans love to smoke! And they're apparently allowed to smoke anywhere outside on the top decks! (Except the nudist area)
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Entertainment They have a group of 4 singers and 4 dancers/acrobats that performed a different show every day we were on board. Shows lasted 40-50 minutes and were really quite entertaining. There was also a talkshow hosted by the cruise director, didn't interest me much. Also saw a band in the "casino" area one night, wasn't bad but very loud. Personally I'd have liked to see some other options. Maybe a little jazz in the lounge? Piano player?
They also organise activities, we tried a dance workshop once which turned into a private lesson since we were the only couple showing up. I'd say they could get a lot more people if they'd share a little more information about these but..
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Staff A lot of the European staff is German. I found quite a few of these not exactly friendly. Not sure if they're just too busy or if my mediocre German was the issue. Asian staff in general was quite friendly and seemed fine with our German (theirs wasn't any better), some seemed to prefer English. I saw a group of them do a spontaneous surprise musical greeting for a regular guest celebrating birthday
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Guests Almost exclusively German, I noticed a Dutch family and was sure I picked up a little Polish and even some Czech. So call it 98% German. Age range was 40-75 with mostly couples and groups of female friends. A handful of young families.
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Our conclusion: Cruising in itself actually seems to suit us. There's something about a new location every day that gives you a nice feeling of travelling, making a journey. Would we do this again? Possibly. But not on Aida. I'd like a little more luxury and a lot less cigarette smoke.

With a lot of buzz around this class, I think it would be good to clear up some misconceptions and talk about how EASY this class is.

Grade Breakdown:

Assignments	0%
Syllabus Quiz	0%
Chapter Quizzes	10%
Practice Quizzes	0%
ALL Activities	15%
Exam 1	15%
Exams 2 to 4	60%

Grading Scale: A = (90 to 100) B+ = (87 to 89.99) B = (80 to 86.99) C+ = (77 to 79.99) C = (70 to 76.99) D+ = (67 to 69.99) D = (60 to 66.99) F = (0 to 59.99)

Dr. Whyte sets this class up in favor of the students. There are no tricks. She offers tip sheets with outlines of what will be on each exam, telling you exactly what you need to study to be successful.


What You Need To Know

For this class, you must purchase the 10BII+ Financial Calculator.
You have a total of 6 ALL sessions, where you go over material learned PRIOR to coming to class.
There are lengthy videos for every chapter, where she will go over concepts, formulas, examples, and much more.
The class picks up fast once you get to Chapter 5, where you learn Time Value of Money. This is the MOST important portion of the class. You MUST master these concepts, because everything else is built off of TMV.
Exam 1 is said to be the easiest, as it is mostly vocabulary and conceptual based questions. Start off strong with Exam 1.

How To Pass
I passed this class with an A, receiving a 100% on the final. This is what I did to pass:

• Go through her videos, copying everything down she covers. If she begins a math problem, right down the problem with the work.
• For the harder chapters, I printed out all of the lecture slides she goes over so I have a paper copy to highlight and write notes on.
• She includes chapter-specific problem sets, that go over all the concepts you will need to know. If you watch the videos prior to beginning the problem set, you will have what you need to go over them. If you run into any problems on how to solve them, and you will, she has videos solving all the problems. So solve them with her as you watch her videos.
• When exams come around, she has pages dedicated to giving you what you need to be successful on the exam. Example:

Tip Sheet: Exam 3 covers Stocks, Cost of Capital, Capital Budgeting Techniques and Capital Budgeting Cash Flows. The Tip Sheet she provides, gives you a breakdown of EVERYTHING you need to know. Whether it be 3 math related questions for stocks, or 6 total questions for Cost of Capital including 5 math problems and 1 conceptual question. She lays it out for you, telling you what will be on the exam.
Practice Exam 3 Questions: You open this link and it gives you 42 practice problems, covering everything in Chapters 8-11. Print them out, work through them, know how to solve them. Answers are provided at the end of the page. These practice problems are KEY to being successful in this class, and doubling down on the concepts you need to become comfortable with.
Exam 3 Formulas: Dr. Whyte is kind enough to provide a formula sheet on Exams 2-4, giving you everything you need to know. You don't even have to memorize the formulas. Many people take this for granted, because the formulas look difficult to read. Ex:
𝑉𝑐𝑠 = 𝐷1 / 𝑘𝑐𝑠 − 𝑔
You will work with formulas like these so much (IF YOU DO PRACTICE PROBLEMS) to the point where you will not struggle with knowing what is being asked.
"V" value
"cs" Common Stock
"D1" Expected Dividend
"Kcs" Rate of Common Stock
"G" Growth Rate

Do enough problems to where you know how to find each of them, and then put them together. It is quite literally solving a puzzle. Grab your pieces, put them together, and you have your answer.

Do not take these formula sheets for granted. If you know how to read them, it will make your time in this class 100x easier.


Final Exam

Yes, the final is comprehensive. It excludes everything on Exam 1, meaning you will only be tested on material learned from TMV to the end of the course. (The final exam will cover Chapters 5 - 13.)
Resources for what will be on the final:

• Tip sheet
• Review problems for Exams 2/3
• Terms to know for the final exam
• Practice Exam - Covering Chapters 12 and 13
• Final Exam Formula sheet

The final, if you become comfortable with everything you have learned throughout the course, will be the EASIEST test of the class. You have a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. Do the practice problems, then do the practice exams, then do the problem sets provided in each chapter, and then do it all over again!
The hardest part of this class, is the few conceptual based questions on each test. Why? I chose not to look at the textbook more than a handful of times. So yeah. Read the textbook.

Exams consist of 25 questions each, with a mixture of math and conceptual questions. More math than concepts. Don't take the conceptual questions for granted though, if there are 6 conceptual questions and you get none of them right but all the math questions right, you're down to a 76%.

Review Quizzes are provided for each exam. Do them over and over again. If you don't know how to solve it, skip it, submit the test, see what the answer is, and find out how to work out the problem when you have the answer.

This class is also quite difficult for people because they have to master the calculator in a very short time period. If you don't mind pushing back this class, I recommend taking FIN 2100 with Paul Gregg. You will have the entire class to learn how to utilize this calculator and become comfortable with the buttons and different formulas. Mr. Gregg is very insightful, and this class, while not required, is a great resource if you want to have some background knowledge before taking FIN3403 with Dr. Whyte. I took FIN2100 in Spring of 23, and FIN3403 in Spring of 24, and even with the 2 semester gap, all the knowledge on how to use the calculator remained.

There are some people who recommend utilizing Skoolers Tutoring to help you become more comfortable with the material in this class. I never needed to, but if you need extra help, that resource is there for you.

Dr. Whyte has office hours, and the TAs do as well if you need help. They are there to help. Utilize them!
Do not fall behind. If you have time off from school like Thanksgiving break, or Spring break, study over that time. Get ahead!

Hardest Chapters (Personal opinion):
TMV at first. Can be seen as quite overwhelming with the amount of information, but take It slow and master everything about these 2 chapters. (5 and 6)
Stocks. The only chapter I printed out 77 pages worth of lecture slides to have as I went through the videos. (8)
Cost of Capital. Only because of having to find WACC. Tons of pieces that ultimately need to come together into one number, and it is easy to make a mistake if you are not careful. (9)


Easiest Chapters:
Bonds - Quite repetitive, once you have done one problem and learn how they are setup, it becomes very simple. (7)
Leverage and Capital Structure - When you get to this chapter and you see the triangle diagram she provides in one of her videos, write this down and memorize it. This diagram was the first thing I wrote down on my scratch paper when taking the final. (12)
Dividends - 90% learning concepts and theories, 10% math. The math is something you would see in an Algebra class. Know the concepts though, and what they mean. Don't just be able to move numbers around.


Overall:
There is a lot of hoopla about this course and I truly think it comes down to the way the student studies. All of the resources are provided to you in the course. Do the practice problems, do the practice exams, go over the problem sets, and learn to read the formula sheet. Many people find her videos boring and drawn out, put it on 1.25x or 1.5x speed. All the information you need to know, however, is provided in the videos. Watch them, if she writes something down, I can almost guarantee that you will need to know it. Similarly to other harder courses, this class requires your time. If you have a busy course load or have a lot going on in life, maybe push it off to another semester. It is very doable, however, if you are diligent in your studying and working hard. There are no shortcuts in this class. You get what you put in! Dr. Whyte is a phenomenal instructor and really cares for her students success. She would not provide tip sheets and detailed outlines for all the exams if she did not want you to succeed. Good luck!
Edit: Grammar

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Keep practising the Reading Comprehension passages, approximately to 3 in step with day approximately 3 months earlier than the examination. Stick to a maximum time limit of forty mins for approximately three-five passages, relying on their length.
At this factor, it's far vital to realize that there are 60 minutes allotted to the Vocabulary and Reading Comprehension segment. Though it is not possible to finish all 34 questions of this section, but if you may clear up four Reading Comprehension passages in forty mins, that’s a outstanding achievement. The remaining 20 minutes can be spent on Verbal Ability part. If you continue to have a few minutes, you can cross again to any unfinished comprehension passage and try and finish a bit more. Let's start your preparation with Best Online CAT Coaching in India.

Improve Your Calculation Speed: Don’t Depend on The On-Screen Calculator

Though use of an on-display calculator has been allowed at some stage in the exam, yet it must no longer be encouraged as it's time-eating. Instead, in the course of your practise, enhance your calculation pace so you don’t should use this calculator.

Practice All Peculiar Questions in The Logical Reasoning Section

To crack the Logical Reasoning segment, you need a lot of exercise. By working towards issues and analysing your mistakes, you’ll be cautious no longer to copy them and understand the needs of the phase higher. This will improve your usual overall performance.
You can also attend any workshops on this situation that your training institute might preserve. By taking notes and working out odd questions within the time limit, you could crack this phase of the paper within the time restriction.

Make notes of formulae and theory of Quantitative Ability

One of the satisfactory approaches of getting ready for the Quant segment is to jot down notes of the essential formulae and concept. With this as your background, you could pick out new topics without difficulty. Practice as a great deal as you may and strive several mock papers to increase your pace.

Develop A Positive Attitude

With the exam across the nook, it’s feasible that you’re fearful and wondering in case you’ll make the grade. Don’t lose heart, don’t be under assured, simply be steady in your preparation and be sure of the whole lot you’ve studied. If you’re analyzing to your personal, it’s more critical which you are confident.
But in case you’re part of a small take a look at organization, you could motivate every different and continue to be on course until the end. Remember that handiest with a nice mindset and cool head are you able to reap some thing—even the CAT examination. So, preserve your composure.
Conclusion
With only some months ultimate for the CAT examination, even though it’s critical if you want to know your stuff. It’s similarly vital that you remain calm, pleased, constructive and confident that in the long run, the whole thing will workout for you. Good good fortune!

🫖 Welcome back to the Asylum write-up. This is where you live now. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
In this installment, we finally take a closer look at how Emilie Autumn's hyper-loyal fanbase gradually started losing faith in her as, among other things, it became more and more apparent that she... wasn't exactly a reliable narrator – in her semi-autobiographical book, or in general.

HOW IT STARTED: A WOMAN OF MYSTERY

Willow, weep for me Don't think I don't see This life I'm living in two But still it's something I must do I'm not unique in this Nor am I special, sweet, or kind I court a thousand smiles Yet I keep my own to hide behind (“Willow”, 2004 🎵)

I've previously referred to EA as an “expert vagueposter”, and this is relevant here.
For an artist who built her brand on a pledge of raw, rats-and-all honesty, EA has always been quite guarded about the specifics of her personal life. (Until her current partner, for instance, she always danced around calling anyone a boyfriend, even when the nature of the relationship was pretty obvious.) Her whole angle is telling “the truth”, but through whimsical fantasy. As early as the fairy-themed Enchant era, she had her own world, her own vernacular; she spoke in metaphors, in-jokes, and quirky anachronisms. Taxis were carriages, her electric keyboard was a harpsichord, she always capitalized Time and Art like Shakespeare does. On the Asylum forum, automatic word filters would change “fan” to “muffin”, “fairy” to “faerie”, “bra” to “teacup holder”, and “responsibility” to “ratsponsibility”.
She's a chatterbox who loves to share memories and funny anecdotes, but she usually keeps them short and sweet, Snapple-facts style. 📝 She's great at painting by touches in her storytelling, revealing just enough to let your imagination auto-complete the rest. 🔍 Even the most banal tidbits are very artfully told, very “on brand”, often dense with symbolism and foreshadowing – but also very abstracted.
She is especially elusive when it comes to her background and formative years. See the way she catches herself in this interview 📺📝 while describing her “favorite scar”, which is from an eel bite: “My – well, someone I knew... [gasp-laugh] had it as a pet, and...” (She was about to say “my sister”.)
In short, the way EA talks about her life is often very personal, but not all that candid – and sounds more like it's meant to provide a curated, coherent backstory for Emilie Autumn the character, rather than Emilie Autumn the person.

I'll tell the truth, all my songs Are pretty much the fucking same I'm not a fairy but I need More than this life, so I became This creature representing more to you Than just another girl... (“Swallow”, 2006 🎵)

In the beginning, this guardedness naturally contributed to the mystique. It made it all the more special when, once in a while, she would briefly drop the theatrics to share something earnest and relatively unfiltered. Like this composed, but vulnerable post from 2004 📝 about her father losing his battle to cancer, and her attempts at closure over their tense relationship. Or this 2012 anti-bullying campaign thing 📺 in which she opens up about being a target of intense physical bullying in elementary school, to a point that contributed to her being homeschooled at 9.
Fans in the early years were curious about her backstory, of course – but not too prodding or invasive, to my knowledge. I think there was an understanding that EA, like many performers, wanted to come across as human and approachable, while still cultivating an “aura” and retaining some privacy. But obviously, when she announced that she was writing a Tell-All Memoir in 2007, everyone was dying to read it. TEA TIME!

HOW IT'S GOING: A WOMAN OF... MALARKEY???

LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! (“Liar”, 2006 🎵)

As we've learned, the original 2009 release of EA's book was highly anticipated, but somewhat tainted by a bunch of shipping delays and unfulfilled promises. From the start of her career, EA had always cultivated a close parasocial involvement with her audience; many fans had as deep an attachment to her, personally, as they did to her art. So, for instance, when EA tweeted about all the personal dedications she was lovingly writing in overdue books, only for the books to arrive many months later and unsigned with no tangible explanation, it wasn't simply frustrating: it was betrayal amongst kin!
Really, it wasn't so much about fans not getting what they paid for – it was about the lack of clear communication or genuine accountability. This is pure speculation on my part, but the poppycock that EA tweeted about signing the books strikes me as the panic-lie of someone who hadn't realized just how many heartfelt, personalized dedications she would actually have to write when she came home from tour. And then she just couldn't do it, because she was overworked, paralyzed, distracted, depressed, procrastinating, whatever. Which... you know... is unfortunate, but probably not unforgivable. Especially for a touring performer who is open and vocal about their mental health issues.
I'm confident that most fans would have been happy to tell her that her well-being meant more to them than an autograph, or something along those lines. Instead, EA's cagey and avoidant demeanor around this issue left fans very salty – and newly suspicious of their favorite artist's word.
Which was regrettable timing for EA, because they had just received their copies of her memoir.
Here's a cursory look at some key biographical points that didn't hold up to scrutiny when more and more vexed fans, over the years, started looking into them.
Content warning until end of post: family estrangement, death by fire, worsening physical health issues, mention of disordered eating / weight loss / thinspiration, and LIES! LIES! LIIIIIES!

“EMILIE AUTUMN LIDDELL (BORN SEPTEMBER 22, 1979) IS AN AMERICAN SINGER-SONGWRITER...” (Wikipedia)

Every fandom has its Holy Grail. Because a number of EA's early releases were limited pressings put out through now-defunct record labels, the EA fandom in its heyday was a collector's wonderland. 📝🦠 At the height of her popularity, the original Enchant jewelcase (the one with the puzzle-poster) could easily fetch around $500 dollars on eBay, unsigned. The handwritten lyrics of an Opheliac B-side went for $940 in 2009. Don't even ask me about the hard copies of her two poetry books: those never even popped up over the five or six years that I had various alerts set up for all EA-related listings.
But the true crown jewel of EA rarities is the untitled promo version of her (also virtually unfindable) 2001 instrumental debut On a Day... No one knows how many copies exist. The darn thing is so rare that it's not even listed on Discogs. For a while, the only picture of the elusive “Violin” promo CD that was circulated online was this one.🪞 Go ahead, click the link. Notice anything odd? That black box where one composer's birth year should be?
I'm not sure why the notorious hyper-fan who originally shared this picture on the forum in the early 2010s took it upon himself to censor it before posting. I wasn't able to pinpoint when or why people started questioning EA's age, but clearly, something had already transpired to let him know that not redacting said birth year might, uh... cause an upset. In any case: at some point, people started digging – and eventually, the unredacted version of the “Violin” tracklist (as well as public records and literal receipts from eBay auctions) would be brandished as one more piece of damning evidence that EA was indeed (gasp!) two years older than she claimed to be.
“Okay, and?” you shrug. “What's the big deal?” I'm shrugging too! What can I say? People don't like realizing they've been fooled, even about something stupid. I will note that EA's fall equinox birthday (hence her middle name “Autumn”, yes) had been somewhat significant in the fandom. Over the years, EA's birthdays had been marked by online release parties, Q&A's, community events, special merch sales... A number of fans liked donning her trademark cheek heart on September 22. It felt a bit uncanny to realize that she had been announcing a false age on those occasions. It wasn't “a big deal” so much as it was incredibly odd.
Other than being appalled that Self-Proclaimed Staunch Feminist EA would give in to the cult of youth and not cop up to her real age, many fans were just plain bewildered: who would commit so stubbornly to such an inconsequential lie? What was even the point of lying by two years only? Why did she think anyone would care that she was 28 rather than 26 when Opheliac came out? What was she possibly getting out of this...??
My completely speculative theory is that, whether it was her idea or her then-manager's, the lie originated as a marketing strategy early on in her career. The “Violin” demo was recorded in 1997, when EA was 19-going-on-20. Per the liner notes of On a Day... 📝, which came out when she was 22, the demo's purpose was to be “a sort of calling card in the classical music industry”. Evidently, that didn't work out; EA claims, in the same paragraph, to have walked out on a classical recording deal at 18 because they wouldn't give her enough creative control.
Talented and unique as she was, she was trying to break out in a notoriously elitist and innovation-resistant milieu – and unlike her, most of the 22-year-old classical violinists she was in competition with had actually graduated from their prestigious music schools. But you know what sells better than an ambitious college dropout in her early twenties? Tweaking the truth just so to market yourself as an unconventional wunderkind, barely out of her teens! Any rendition of a complex, learnèd musical piece sounds more intriguing and impressive if you think it was played by an especially young (and beautiful) person. 20 was plausible, close enough to her real age, barely a lie at all, and such a nice, round number for a debut album.
Notice how much of the On a Day... liner notes, linked above, center on her precociousness, her uniqueness, and her savant-like dedication to her craft – a focus that seems absent from the promo version (from what I can decipher in those potato-quality pictures, anyway). These talking points would provide the basis for a lot of her early self-promotion and budding stage persona in the Enchant years. Even though the EP failed to make EA a household name in the classical world, the wunderkind narrative was her “in” to grab the attention and heart of a broader audience.
And I guess she's been running with it ever since.

“MY ANCESTRY IS POSITIVELY LITTERED WITH LUNATICS AND GIRLS WHO FALL DOWN RABBIT HOLES ... MY NAME IS EMILIE AUTUMN LIDDELL. YES, THAT LIDDELL.”

Oh, come on. Much as a fan may want to believe, isn't that a little on the nose? The anglophile with an obsession for tea, clocks, and madness... is literally related to Alice in Wonderland? 🔍 Curiouser and curiouser indeed.
EA came out as Emilie Autumn Liddell in The Book – of course – in a passage where she describes an interaction with a nurse. 📝 Note how she stresses the authenticity of her name, and how not-chosen it is (and the Alice connection, which just comes up organically) by disclosing it in a scene where she's filling out paperwork.
I'm pointing this out, because it would be tempting to allow room for creative license (and the slightest cringe) in a work of creative fiction based on personal experience. Buuut... TAFWG was not marketed as fiction. The main narrative in TAFWG, according to EA, is an actual fac-simile of the journals she kept during a harrowing stay at a Los Angeles psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. This is something that EA has stressed from the inception of the book (and throughout all subsequents re-issues, even as the main narrative was altered and reworked), even claiming that a legal team had advised her to redact some names to avoid potential lawsuits. So, no, she's not doing a bit there.
When, after it made the rounds a few times, it became apparent that the claim didn't really make sense 📝🔍, reactions were mixed. Some older, diplomatic fans downplayed it as a somewhat embarrassing, but harmless self-mythologizing – similar in nature to her insistence on calling her electric keyboard a “harpsichord”. Devout EA apologists (commonly referred to as “bootlickers” in an increasingly polarized fandom – oh, don't worry, we're getting to that!) invoked the “life as performance art” defense: when she said it was literally her first name, she meant it metaphorically, duh! And either way, she probably had her reasons.
But others took offense at the boldness of the lie, or simply became curious. Was Liddell even her name at all?
If you've checked the link just above, you already know the answer. Per the public California birth log (a somewhat demented invasion of privacy that could well have been avoided by... not repeatedly drawing attention to a name that someone in the book calls “right out of a movie”?) : yes, no, kind of.
EA was born Emily Autumn Fischkopf* on September 22, 1977. The name came from her father, a first-generation immigrant from Germany. Her maternal grandmother's maiden name was Liddell (but no, not that Liddell, or so remotely that it doesn't matter). EA may have had it legally changed at some point in the last decade, but as of 2012, based on the public log of foreign visitors to Brazil (where she toured that year), her passport still bore the name “Emily Autumn Fischkopf”.
*No, EA's birth name is not literally “Fischkopf”. It's a non-silly German name that begins with an F. I know that it's ridiculous to clutch my pearls about EA's peace of mind now, but triggering new and disquieting Google alerts for a name she clearly wants nothing to do with (and that you don't care about) just feels... distasteful? I don't know. That info has been floating around long enough, the point has been made; this write-up is not about EA's last name, but about the fiends we made along the way! So Fischkopf it is.
Let's track the evolution here! It appears that she went by “Autumn Fischkopf” for at least part of her formative years, if we are to believe the credits from Mark Ruffalo's middling film debut 📺 (she was the child actor's violin-playing body double) and this random article about a Nigel Kennedy performance in 1997. 🔍 (That last link – possibly her first ever mention in the press? – is a niche favorite of mine. Violin superstar Nigel Kennedy calls her a “talented fiddler”, which suggests that she did have some cred and promise in the classical milieu at a young age, and that there is at least some truth to her claims of being a wunderkind. It also cracks me up that, out of all the things she's reiterated over the years, “I was born in '79” was a lie, but “I was attacked by a pet eel” was fact-checked by Nigel Kennedy.)
At some point in her late teens, she dropped the Teutonic surname and adopted the French ending of her given name (she made it a “LIE”! how poetic) to form the moniker “Emilie Autumn”. I assume that's also when she started privately going by Emilie / EA for short.
So there you have it. The damning evidence. A performing artist... changed her name. To her grandmother's name. Riveting stuff!
And to think that her fans could have carried on naively believing “Autumn” was her last name, or assuming it was a romantic nom de scène she picked during her Ren Fair phase. Or perhaps, even, not thinking much about her name at all, like normal people.
But nooo, she just had to poke the hornet's nest by making a whole thing out of it.

“MY ENTIRE FAMILY DIED IN A FIRE.”

If you've never encountered a method-acting con artist or a person who struggles with pathological lying (I'll let you decide for yourself which of these, if either, applies to EA), you probably believe that you'd spot them a mile away. And in my experience, that's exactly why you wouldn't! Whether it's compulsion or calculated strategy, successful fibbers rely on people's natural social cues (like their assumption of good faith, their confirmation bias, their empathy, their desire for validation, their fear of awkwardness, ...) to subtly direct the flow and tone of the conversation. This allows them to short-circuit potential questioning of their claims.
One such strategy, for instance, I call the “I-will-not-further-speak-about-the-incident maneuver”. Out of the blue, you drop a graphic and incisive one-liner about something horrific that happened to you, in a curt or flippant tone that throws the listener off and usually shuts them up – thus sparing you from having to back up your claim with any convincing specifics. I'm not saying that every person who does this is a liar. Horrific stuff does happen to people, and I'm not here to police how they're supposed to disclose it. I'm just saying that if you wanted to fabricate an obvious Tragic Backstory™ and smuggle it past otherwise rational, discerning and reasonably intelligent people, that would be one way to do it. Full disclosure: it does work better in person than it does over the internet, especially when you've kept a blog.
When EA curtly dropped this bomb on Twitter (in response to an innocuous fan question that mentioned her parents – the receipt has sadly been X'd out of existence), and every subsequent time a new fan found out about her family's tragic demise (“I had no idea!”), the response was typically one of shock and sadness – and, in a few heartbreaking cases, commiseration from other survivors of family-annihilating events.
Many fans already had a hunch that something was up with her family, of course. She hinted at neglect and possible abuse in her book and lyrics. A number of her fans also came from dysfunctional households, so her not wishing to elaborate on the topic would probably have been a non-issue. But now she's saying they're dead? All of them? In a FIRE?! Holy macaroni! And you know it must have been awful, because EA – the same woman who got a dozen bangers out of a three-month-long toxic relationship, and based over a decade of her work on one bad hospital stay – had never, not once, felt called to share a song or poem about how it might affect a person to... lose all of their entire immediate family to a fire. Hmm. Meanwhile, the handful of older fans who had been following her since Enchant and remembered her dad passing in 2004 gritted their teeth and rolled their eyes. “Do your research. That's all I can say.” (We'll get into the culture of censorship free speech regulation on the Asylum forum in due time.)
Before more and more embittered ex-fans started compiling and circulating the receipts in the early-mid-2010s, investigating the whole “dead family” thing was a lonely journey – a coming-of-age expedition for the critical-minded Plague Rat, trawling through free background check websites and old Wayback Machine archives, until you went “Welp, there it is, I guess” and suddenly felt older, stupider, and a little bit hollow inside.
Although I don't remember how I personally made my way to The Truth (lol) back in the day, I still have a vivid memory of the moment I found the Facebook profile of EA's Very Much Non-Deceased Mother. It was mostly posts about her costume design work. A few candid pictures with EA's siblings and their kids. Christmas, birthdays, a wedding. Just... aggressively normal stuff. It was bizarre, looking in on this family of cheerful strangers with familiar cheekbones. Knowing that, somewhere out there, was an estranged eldest daughter, who had run off years ago to become a fiddle-wielding rockstar – and was now passing them off as having all died a gruesome death, while her fans secretly stalked their family photos. (Because I know you'll be asking in the comments: yes, EA's family is aware. Her mother once posted a picture of young EA and her siblings on Pinterest, sarcastically captioned “After most of us were killed in the fire.” 📝)
Again, it's tempting to discount EA's remark as a metaphor for family estrangement, taken too literally by neurodivergent minors who just didn't understand performance art. Well. First of all, even as a metaphor... let's admit, once again, that that 2000s edginess has aged like fine milk. It's a little crass to make a “metaphor” out of a plausible, life-shattering trauma that other people actually have to live with. (Veronica lost a beloved house to a literal fire 🔍 during her tenure as a Crumpet, for instance; no one died, but that alone seemed pretty rough.)
But, more to the point, evidence suggests that EA also told this to real people in her real, off-stage life – such as her Trisol manager, who backed the claim on the official Asylum Forum in 2007. 📝 When questioned about this post on a renegade forum in 2013, he had this to say:

I was the fool in this case. EA made that up of course. It’s just one thing on a long list of things she made up. Let’s agree she’s very creative with facts if she wants people to believe a story. (...) I once had a short chat with [EA's mom] and I got the strong impression she wasn’t dead at the time. Haha.

(OK, dude, but did you or did you not sell fake EA tickets on a scammy website in 2008? Because we never did get the skinny on that.)
Fifteens years on, EA continues to insist, unprompted, that “the fire” destroyed her childhood drawings and baby pictures. 📝 This more recent Instagram post is like a Greatest Hits of her most notorious yarns, to a degree that's either premeditated trolling or a subconscious call for help. She casually, yet pointedly mentions her age in relation to a specific year... and specifically draws attention to the signature, one that she used well into the Enchant era. In doing so, she made me notice, for the first time, that the A blends into an F. As one could expect from an artsy, Renaissance-obsessed teenager, her OG signature was a freaking monogram for Emily Autumn Fischkopf. It's like “The Tell-Tale Heart” for the digital age! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?? 🦠

A BIT O' THIS & THAT: MISCELLANEOUS CLAIMS

Just for fun, here are other sundry “citation needed” facts that EA has claimed over the years. All are originally from the book unless sourced otherwise. Some of them may have been jokes, some of them might even be true! Whatever that word still means!

• She suffered near-fatal leukemia at age 2, but miraculously recovered. Doctors were baffled.
• She has perfect pitch and tone-color synesthesia. 🔍
• She also had a photographic memory before Ativan ruined it. That's how she remembers what the sky looked like on the day she came out of the hospital leukemia-free.
• It is well-known and well-established, among the bipolar community, that bipolar people all over the world will regularly and inexplicably wake up at 4 in the morning. 🎵 On the dot. No one knows why, but they do. Doctors are baffled.
• She can play the violin on horseback!
• The traumatic hospital stay happened before Opheliac until it happened after. 🔍 Doctors are time lords.
• TAFWVG “has been cited in text-books used as part of the psychology curriculum at Oxford University in London.” 📝 I would have intuited Oxford University to be in Oxford, but then again, I didn't go to Oxford.

ELECTRIC VIOLIN: UNPLUGGED

You know how whenever a musician starts behaving obnoxiously, old sages will come down from Mount Wisdom to advise disgruntled fans to “simply ignore [behavior]” and “just focus on the music”? Well, in the Asylum, “just focusing on the music” won't always preserve you from EA's shenanigans. This “claim” is a little different, but I've decided to include it because it is so odd, emblematic, and ultimately tragic. I also count it as “biographical”, because it involves a key tenet of EA's character sheet: the violin.
Being a kickass fiddler is one of EA's trademarks, and has always been central to her narrative; as of 2024, “world-class violinist” is still the first claim to fame she lists in the “Story” section of her official website. Which beggars the question: why won't she play it? And why won't she acknowledge that she's not playing it?
We got our hopes up in 2020, with that one post 📝 about her iconic 1885 Gand & Bernardel getting refurbished by a luthier – a thoughtful birthday surprise from her boyfriend – but despite the promising “More to come...” at the end of the caption, that turned out to be a false alarm. In truth, it may well have been over a decade since anyone has witnessed EA draw a single note from her cherished instrument.
The fact that Lord Autumn was able to sneak it out during lockdown without the Lady noticing tends to confirm that she hadn't been playing much behind the scenes. She seems to be under the impression that e-violin manufacturer Zeta is no longer in business (they did close down in 2010 🔍, but reopened under new management in 2012), which suggests that she hasn't been keeping up with the violin scene for a while. Besides, the fingernails don't lie. 🐀
As the live shows veered more theatrical with the release of Opheliac, the extended violin features from the Enchant era were cut to two main appearances per concert: “Face the Wall”, a seven-minute-short, Hendrixesque take on Arcangelo Corelli's “La Folia” – and “Unlaced”, an arpeggio-ed frenzy that was originally paired with a stilt-walking and ballet performance by the Crumpets. These two instrumental tracks remained a fixture on four successive tours. And on four successive tours, “Unlaced” was... well... clearly dubbed. 📺 She was holding her e-violin, her hands were playing the notes, but what was coming out of the speakers was indubitably the studio version.
There were possible explanations, of course. Some sound buffs pointed out that “Unlaced” has multiple violin layers, and that a live violin solo would have sounded harsh and unbalanced over the supporting tracks 🔍 – but then, why pick an unplayable song as a staple of the show?
The violin-miming wasn't even very hush-hush, she didn't try that hard to hide it – it was just never addressed or acknowledged. On “Unlaced”, Veronica was usually summoned to “play” the keyboard – and we knew that was make-believe, they had a whole skit about it. 📺 Ditto when EA would play the intro to a song, then get up from the keyboard as she started singing, and the harpsichord track just kept going. It was part of the theatrics, the suspension of disbelief; live playing just wasn't the focus.
Still, because playing two songs should have been in her wheelhouse, EA's choice to stand on stage and mime along with her own world-class violin skills was puzzling. We knew EA was capable of playing “Unlaced”: “Face the Wall” was proof enough that she could still shred like nobody's business, and some lucky fans got to hear her nerd out about pitch standards and rock some Bach at VIP showcases in 2011 (though it was always the same piece, and reportedly not always on point: “she made beginner mistakes, like weird jaw, wrist, elbow placement and tension...” 🐀). And sure, “Face the Wall” was an intense piece, but... it was one of two in the show. The same two, always. She was supposed to be classically trained...!
As EA's fabrications became more common knowledge among the fanbase, people took increasing issue with this odd staging choice – particularly after “Face the Wall” was retired partway through the 2011 tour, leaving only the pantomime, with nothing else happening on stage to distract from it. 📺 People started fixating on her constant and inexplicable tweaking of the truth. Fake name, fake age, fake promises, and now she was fake-fiddling and making a grand show of it? Was she outright mocking her audience, daring them to call her out? Milking a skill she had grown bored with, in the lowest-effort way possible, knowing that goo-goo-eyed fans would still pay to see it? Playing them the world's saddest song on the world's quietest e-violin?
The release of new album Fight Like a Girl in 2012 did little to soothe the Plague Rats' fiddle blues. The violin was much less prominent on FLAG than it had been on Opheliac and Enchant. There were almost no solos, which provided fewer opportunities for playing or miming on stage. “Unlaced” was retired from the touring setlist. One night in Texas during the 2012 tour, due to being on vocal rest, EA played the melody line of “Liar” on the violin. 📺 And that was pretty much the last time world-class violinist Emilie Autumn was heard playing her instrument, on stage or in recording – to the dismay of many fans who had loved her for it.

Can someone please grab this woman by her hand, lead her across her livingroom/bedroom/study, and point at that lonely forgotten dusty violin in a corner of hers so she remembers that she actually owns it? (🐀)

It was yet another bizarre, glaring inconsistency in EA's narrative that fans seemed expected to ignore. Another elephant in the padded room. (Personal anecdote that I don't have a receipt for: in early 2012, when I asked if there was a possibility of EA playing another baroque set for the VIP events on the upcoming tour, her then-manager responded that that wouldn't be possible because venues didn't have the proper acoustics.)
Through some her posts over the years , attentive fans pieced together the likely truth of EA's effective retirement as a violinist. It's actually quite sad, and may cast a different light on EA's artistic shift.
The 2011 tour was initially scheduled for late 2010. It was postponed because EA had been neglecting a jaw injury for years, and needed emergency surgery to avoid “serious and irreversible damage” to her one violin-holding jaw. 📝 She had the surgery early in September; in late November, she performed all over Latin America for six nights straight, and by January, she was back on tour. The same tour during which she made “beginner's mistakes” on the Bach partita, and retired “Face the Wall” for good after a few shows.
She underwent jaw surgery again in 2018, after three years of orthodontic treatment which she said had “prevented [her] from performing”. It was the first anyone was hearing of this (she said she hadn't been touring because she was writing the musical!), and it's as far as EA ever got in terms of half-addressing the obvious: that after dedicating a third of her time on Earth to her craft, after years of pushing through the pain night after night, rushing through recovery periods, and making compromises so the show could go on... she may not be physically able to play concert-level violin anymore.
Once again, something that should (and would) have elicited empathy and support from most fans turned into a point of frustration, speculation and mockery, for years – because EA continued to favor pretend-play and fantasy over the sobering, unglamorous truth. Well, at least everyone's unhappy.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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The following article argues that positing a transcendent organizer provides a more logically coherent and philosophically satisfying explanation for the universe's intricate order, complexity, and apparent design than self-organization alone. The argument is based on the logical inadequacies of self-organization, the uniform experience of complex systems originating from intelligent agents, and the need for a substantive explanation for the universe's order.
The Necessity of a Transcendent Organizer
Introduction: The intricate order, complexity, and apparent design observable in the universe have long fascinated philosophers and scientists alike. From the exquisite fine-tuning of physical constants to the staggering complexity of biological systems, the cosmos appears imbued with a profound organizational structure. Traditionally, two main explanatory frameworks have been proposed to account for this order: self-organization and intelligent design. In this treatise, I will argue that positing a transcendent organizer offers a more logically coherent and philosophically satisfying explanation for the universe's ordered complexity than self-organization.
The Inadequacy of Self-Organization: Self-organization, the idea that complex systems can spontaneously generate order without external guidance, has been a popular explanatory framework in recent decades (Kauffman, 1993). Proponents argue that the intricate patterns and structures we observe in nature can emerge from the interaction of simple rules and components, without the need for a guiding intelligence (Camazine et al., 2003).
However, upon closer examination, the self-organization account runs into significant logical problems. Firstly, it begs the question of the origin of the self-organizing properties themselves (Nagel, 2012). To say that the universe's order arises from self-organization is to presuppose the existence of organizational principles and capacities within the cosmos. But this merely pushes the explanatory problem back a step, leaving unanswered the deeper question of why the universe has these self-organizing properties in the first place.
Moreover, the self-organization framework faces the challenge of circularity. When studying self-organizing processes in nature, we are observing systems that already exhibit a high degree of order and complexity. We are taking for granted the very organizational properties we are trying to explain (Koons, 2018). Our scientific models of self-organization and complexity presuppose the existence of certain ordered structures and dynamics, but they do not ultimately account for the origin of that order.
The Argument for a Transcendent Organizer: In light of the logical inadequacies of self-organization, I propose that positing a transcendent organizer offers a more rationally satisfying explanation for the universe's ordered complexity. The argument can be formulated as follows:
P1: The universe exhibits intricate order, complexity, and apparent design.
P2: Attempts to explain this order through self-organization alone run into logical problems of circularity and question-begging.
P3: In our collective experience, intricate order, complexity, and apparent design are usually the result of an intelligent organizer or designer.
C: Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that the order of the universe originates from an intelligent organizer outside of nature.
This argument has several strengths. Firstly, it avoids the circularity and question-begging of the self-organization account by grounding the cosmos's order in a cause beyond the natural world (Swinburne, 2004). It does not presuppose the organizational properties it seeks to explain, but rather posits an external source for that organization.
Secondly, the argument draws on our uniform experience of the origin of complex, functionally specified systems. In all cases where we know the causal history of such systems, intelligence has been the source (Dembski, 1998). From the intricate machines of human engineering to the complex codes of computer software, the hallmarks of intelligent design are evident. Extending this intuition to the order of the cosmos, while not a deductive proof, is a reasonable analogical inference (Meyer, 2009).
Thirdly, positing a transcendent organizer provides a more substantive and meaningful explanation for the universe's order than mere chance or necessity. It imbues the cosmos with purpose, intentionality, and a grounding for objective value and meaning (Craig, 2008). It offers a richer metaphysical framework for understanding the nature of reality than a purely impersonal, undirected process of self-organization.
Extending the Argument: The argument for a transcendent organizer can be further strengthened by considering additional lines of evidence and reasoning. One such avenue is the fine-tuning of the universe for life. The fundamental physical constants and initial conditions of the cosmos appear to be exquisitely calibrated to allow for the emergence of complex life forms (Barnes, 2012). Even slight alterations in these values would render the universe inhospitable to life as we know it (Collins, 2007). This fine-tuning points to a purposeful and intelligent cause, rather than mere chance or necessity.
Moreover, the information-theoretic nature of biological systems lends further support to the design hypothesis. The DNA molecule contains staggering amounts of complex, specified information, akin to a digital code or language (Meyer, 2009). In all known cases, such information-rich systems are the product of intelligent agents, not undirected physical processes (Dembski & Wells, 2008). The inference to a transcendent intelligence behind the information in living systems is thus a reasonable abductive conclusion.
Philosophical and Existential Implications: The transcendent organizer hypothesis not only provides a cogent explanation for the universe's order and complexity but also carries profound philosophical and existential implications. It offers a grounding for objective morality, meaning, and purpose in the cosmos (Craig, 2008). If the universe is the product of a supreme mind and will, then human life and values are not merely accidental byproducts of blind physical processes, but are endowed with transcendent significance and intentionality.
Furthermore, the existence of a transcendent organizer has implications for the nature of ultimate reality. It suggests that mind and consciousness are not emergent epiphenomena of matter, but are fundamental and irreducible features of the cosmos (Nagel, 2012). This challenges the reductionistic materialism that pervades much of contemporary science and philosophy, and points to a richer, more expansive metaphysical framework.
Objections and Responses: Naturally, the idea of a transcendent cosmic organizer is not without philosophical challenges and objections. Some may argue that it merely pushes the explanatory problem back a level, leaving unanswered the question of the organizer's own origin and complexity (Dawkins, 2006). However, this objection misunderstands the nature of the argument. The transcendent organizer is posited as a necessary, uncaused, and eternally existent being, not subject to the same causal chain as contingent entities within the universe (Craig, 2008).
Others may object that the design analogy is flawed, and that undirected processes like natural selection can mimic the appearance of design without a designer (Ayala, 2007). While it's true that natural selection can generate remarkable adaptations and structures, it presupposes a pre-existing order and information-rich environment to work upon (Meyer, 2009). It does not fully account for the origin of the universe's fine-tuned laws and constants, nor the staggering complexity and information content of biological systems (Behe, 1996).
Critics of the transcendent organizer hypothesis have raised various objections and counter-arguments. One common objection is that the hypothesis is not scientifically testable or falsifiable (Dawkins, 2006). However, this objection misunderstands the nature of the argument, which is not a scientific theory but a philosophical inference to the best explanation (Meyer, 2009). It is an abductive argument based on the observable evidence and our background knowledge of the causal powers of intelligent agents.
Another objection is that positing a transcendent organizer merely substitutes one mystery for another, leaving unanswered the question of the organizer's own complexity and origin (Dennett, 1995). However, this objection fails to appreciate the unique ontological status of the transcendent cause. As a necessary, uncaused, and eternally existent being, the transcendent organizer is not subject to the same explanatory regress as contingent entities within the universe (Craig, 2008).
Conclusion: In conclusion, I have argued that positing a transcendent organizer offers a more logically coherent and philosophically satisfying explanation for the universe's ordered complexity than self-organization alone. By avoiding the problems of circularity and question-begging, drawing on our uniform experience of the origin of complex systems, and providing a richer metaphysical framework, the transcendent organizer hypothesis emerges as a compelling alternative to purely naturalistic accounts.
While not conclusively provable, the argument for a transcendent organizer presents a rationally justified and existentially satisfying framework for understanding ultimate reality. It invites further interdisciplinary exploration at the intersection of science, philosophy, and theology.
As the philosopher and mathematician William Dembski (2004, p. 85) observes, "The more we learn about the specified complexity of the universe and the informational basis of biology, the more compelling and inescapable the conclusion of a transcendent designer becomes." The transcendent organizer hypothesis thus stands as a formidable and illuminating perspective in the ongoing quest to comprehend the nature of existence.
References:
Ayala, F. J. (2007). Darwin's gift to science and religion. Washington, DC: Joseph Henry Press.
Barnes, L. A. (2012). The fine-tuning of the universe for intelligent life. Publications of the Astronomical Society of Australia, 29(4), 529-564.
Behe, M. J. (1996). Darwin's black box: The biochemical challenge to evolution. New York, NY: Free Press.
Camazine, S., Deneubourg, J. L., Franks, N. R., Sneyd, J., Theraulaz, G., & Bonabeau, E. (2003). Self-organization in biological systems. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
Collins, R. (2007). The multiverse hypothesis: A theistic perspective. In B. Carr (Ed.), Universe or multiverse? (pp. 459-480). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
Craig, W. L. (2008). Reasonable faith: Christian truth and apologetics (3rd ed.). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.
Dawkins, R. (2006). The God delusion. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.
Dembski, W. A. (1998). The design inference: Eliminating chance through small probabilities. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
Dembski, W. A. (2004). The design revolution: Answering the toughest questions about intelligent design. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Dembski, W. A., & Wells, J. (2008). The design of life: Discovering signs of intelligence in biological systems. Dallas, TX: Foundation for Thought and Ethics.
Dennett, D. C. (1995). Darwin's dangerous idea: Evolution and the meanings of life. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Kauffman, S. A. (1993). The origins of order: Self-organization and selection in evolution. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Koons, R. C. (2018). The argument from intuition. In R. C. Koons & T. H. Pickavance (Eds.), The atlas of reality: A comprehensive guide to metaphysics (pp. 397-410). Malden, MA: Wiley Blackwell.
Meyer, S. C. (2009). Signature in the cell: DNA and the evidence for intelligent design. New York, NY: HarperOne.
Nagel, T. (2012). Mind and cosmos: Why the materialist neo-Darwinian conception of nature is almost certainly false. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Swinburne, R. (2004). The existence of God (2nd ed.). Oxford, UK: Clarendon Press.

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• Can intentionally answer a few problems incorrectly at the student's request.
• Can text solutions to the student while they are taking a proctored exam.
• Upon request, can purposely obtain grades below an A (ex: B+, B, C+, C-).
• I can stretch out the time to a plausible length for timed exams and assignments before submitting them.
• Have reliable software that can change my IP address to match the closest major city near the student.
• I have exceptional multiple-choice exam-taking skills. I have mastered the various techniques to make calculated guesses for the correct option in standardized exams such as the SAT & GRE.

I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:

• I have no problem with requests to solve sample problems upfront to prove my knowledge & proficiency of the course concepts.
• I can provide glowing references & strong examples of work done for past clients to verify my academic skills.
• I can also provide, upon request, complete detailed calculations with explanations for solutions to the problems worked on.
• I am quite skilled and adept in using multiple modernized educational platforms and software, including but not limited to: Brightspace MyStatLab D2L WebAssign Canvas MyMathLab Blackboard ALEKS
• Can format term papers and discussion posts in APA MLA Harvard Chicago Vancouver OSCOLA IEEE format.

PROOF OF MY EXPERTISE IN ACADEMIC WORK:

• Below is a link to my Google Drive folder, which contains a diverse assortment of the scores I have obtained on exams that I have recently completed for other students. The link also contains a folder containing the numerous awards that I attained throughout my college education.
• I can provide more screenshots upon request:

I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:

• I have multiple paid subscriptions to a wide range of academic tutoring resources, including Chegg, Quizlet, CourseHero, Brainly, Grammarly, Study.com, Bartleby, Slader, Transtutors, Slideshare, StudocU, Turnitin, Academia, SymboLab, WolframAlpha, and Scribd to help guide to solve exam & homework questions that I may not immediately know.
• However, I am smart enough not to blatantly plagiarize solutions online but instead write them in my own unique words, formatting, & mathematical terminology.
• I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
• I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, or PDF formats.

I AM A BORN & RAISED UNITED STATES CITIZEN:

• Unlike some tutors advertising on Reddit, I am a native-born and raised American citizen with an authentic natural U.S. American accent.
• I am half Irish, half Italian, but 100% American.
• I have received a complete American education from an NJ Elementary School, an NJ middle school, an NJ high school, and 2 NJ universities.

I ALWAYS ACCEPT CALLS:

• I have no problem speaking with potential clients on the phone.
• I have an authentic suburban upper-middle-class American accent, similar to the actor: Ben Stein.
• However, be wary of so-called “tutors” who refuse to accept any phone calls or have a strict “text / email only” policy.
• These “text-only” / “email-only” tutors are usually located outside the U.S. and are afraid their foreign accent will expose their true nationality.

I WRITE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL:

• Approximately 98% of the time, I write all my texts & emails in grammatically correct U.S. English with proper punctuation and occasional typo.
• Unlike some alleged “U.S.-based tutors,” I do NOT write using broken English or grammatically incorrect texting shorthand (example: "wut u need help wit??").
• I write my ad in proper American English, the same way I always text and email people.
• I can guide students on formatting & writing term papers, essays, and discussion posts in APA MLA Chicago Harvard format.
• If the tutor you’re checking out consistently writes using egregiously horrendous grammar, do you honestly think it’s a good idea to trust them to help you do well in your class?

I SPEAK LIKE A GENTLEMAN:

• I have absolutely no reservations with allowing interested students the opportunity to analyze & assess my intonations & inflections my erudite diction my unique vocabulary & word choice suburban upper-middle-class American accent my tone & pitch my articulation to get a better idea of the way I present myself.

I HAVE A UNIQUE VOICEMAIL GREETING:

• If you call my phone number and I don't pick up the phone in time, my voicemail recording will play.
• I recorded my voicemail message in my own voice introducing myself as Jim O'Hara and explaining my services.
• A professional tutor running a serious business should have a unique voicemail greeting regarding their services.

I’M POLITE & WELL-MANNERED:

• I consider myself to be a very well-mannered and polite person.
• I always try to speak & text in a clean proper matter without using any obscenities or R-rated language.
• Please be wary of anyone using inappropriate R-rated language (example: f-bombs, C U Next Tuesday, sh*t).
• A professional tutor should carry themselves with dignity and class.

MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:

• Depending on my availability, I can accommodate immediate tutoring requests, 1-24 hour, and 1-30-day deadlines.
• I can schedule live real-time online sessions and meet deadlines in an impressively timely fashion.
• I can provide quick notifications and updates of progress made in the student's class via email text phone calls.
• I can also be available to tutor students for Fall 2021 Spring 2022 Summer 2022 semesters.

MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:

• I am very knowledgeable and well-versed in a wide range of educational software to tutor students in including but not limited to: Acellus ALEKS APEX Learning Aplia Blackboard Brightspace Canvas Cengage CengageNow Connect ConnectMath Connexus CPM D2L Discord Edmentum Eviews Examity Excel Hawkes Learning Honorlock Khan Academy Knewton LimeSpring Lumen Maple MasteringChemistry MasteringPhysics MathXL (XL) MATLAB McGraw-Hill Microsoft Word Minitab Moodle MyAccountingLab MyEconLab MyITLab MyLab My Lab MyMathLab My Math Lab MyOpenMath MyPsychLab MySocLab MyStatLab My Stat Lab NCSS Open Source Software Pearson PERT PlatoWeb PowerPoint Prezi R Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam Sapling SPSS Stata StraighterLine Straighter Line WebAssign Web Assign Webex (Cisco) WebWork Wiley WileyPlus Wonderlic Zoom

SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:

• A - C: American Public University System (APUS) Arizona State Ashford Brigham Young Brown Broward California State (Fullerton) Capella Chamberlain (Illinois) Colorado Technical Columbia Columbia Southern Cornell
• D - K: Dallas College Dartmouth DeVry Excelsior College Florida International Florida State Full Sail Georgia State Grand Canyon Harvard Houston Community College Ivy Tech Community College Kaplan Kennesaw State Kent State
• L - T: Liberty Lone Star College System Kaplan Miami Dade Michigan State CUNY State University of New York (SUNY) Northern Virginia Ohio State University of Phoenix (UOP) Penn State Princeton Purdue (Davenport) San Diego State San Francisco State San Jose State Southern New Hampshire Southern Nevada Stanford St. Petersburg Strayer Texas Tech
• UNIVERSITY OF: Alabama Arizona California (UC) Central Florida Chicago Cincinnati Florida Houston Illinois (Urbana-Champaign) Iowa Maryland Minnesota Michigan North Texas Pennsylvania Southern Florida Texas Toronto
• U - Z: UCLA Extension Utah State Utah Valley Valencia Walden U Wake Technical Western Governors Wilmington Yale

I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:

• I offer several unique payment plans, including a weekly plan, a discounted monthly plan, a discounted half-now / half-later plan, and highly discounted up-front rates.
• I can accept the following payment methods for my services: PayPal Debit Cards Square Cash Credit Cards Cash App Venmo.
• Only people located in North America have access to Venmo Cash App Zelle.
• This is an excellent way to determine if the person you're dealing with is from the United States.
• Within reason, I offer a partial or full money-Back guarantee if the student is very unsatisfied with my academic services.

TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:

• For other subjects, you can reach out to me, and I can connect you with one of my tutoring partners who can provide general academic assistance for the following subjects:
• Art & Design: Art History Design Film Studies
• Business: Accounting (Acc) Biz Courses Business Administration (Biz Admn) Business Calculus Business Law Business Statistics Corporate Finance Economics (Econ) Finance (Fin) Financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting Intermediate Microeconomics (Micro) Macroeconomics (Macro) Management (Mgmt) Managerial Accounting Marketing MBA
• Computer Science: C C++ Computer Programming (Comp) Java Python R (Introduction & Intermediate Level Only)
• Humanities: Communications (Comm) English Literature Essay & Term Paper Writing, Editing, Proofreading Essays History Papers Philosophy (Phil) Religious Studies Theology (Theo)
• Mathematics: A.P. Calculus AB & BC Psychology Statistics AP Statistics Bio statistics Calculus I (1) Calculus II (2) Calculus III (3) College Algebra Differential Equations Discrete Math Finite Math Functions General Math Geometry Liberal Arts Math Linear Algebra Multi-variable Calculus Partial Differential Equations Precalculus Probability Quantitative Reasoning Real Analysis Statistics Trigonometry (Trig) Vector Calculus
• Science & Medicine: Anatomy & Physiology (A & P) Biochemistry Biology (Bio) Biostatistics Earth Science Environmental Science General Chemistry (Chem) Healthcare Medicine Nursing Nutrition Organic Chemistry Physics (Phys)
• Social Sciences: Anthropology Economics (Econ) Geology Law & Justice Liberal Arts Liberal Studies Political Science Psychology Sociology

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• 1) Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, accent, diction, dialect, regionalisms, pitch, vocabulary, word choice, intonations, and inflections.
• NOTE: I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• 2) Agree to do some homework questions of yours upfront with the work fully shown in real-time to prove my mastery of the course content.
• 3) Send you screenshots of at least five past scores I attained from completing exams & homework assignments for other students in the same type of class you need help with.
• 4) Send you full screenshots of written exam solutions I wrote up by hand for students in the past in the same course that you need help with so that you can see my neat handwriting.
• 5) Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes. Why choose low-income victims when it would be much more profitable to target high-income, high-net-worth individuals earning at least six figures a year? I have knowledge in business consulting, and I promise you that a business owner would be a MUCH more lucrative mark than a low-income college student.
• I wouldn’t choose such a time & energy-draining method of scamming people. Also, communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine. This means that 90% of my time communicating with potential clients ultimately proves to be a colossal waste of my irretrievable time & energy.
• If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now. And I would have been permanently banned from opening new accounts. Therefore, the fact that all my payment apps have been fully active for years should be sufficient proof that I haven’t had people consistently disputing payments sent to me.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

• If you are interested in my services and would like to learn more info, please feel free to reach out to me.
• Text messages and email are the fastest and easiest ways to get in touch with me. However, I gladly accept phone calls.
• If I don't respond right away, I am most likely helping a student at the time and not currently available to speak on the phone. But I always make a solid effort to reply to texts, emails, and phone calls within an hour.

Contact Details to get Help:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: info@hiraedu. com

Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

• Look, this weekend is weird and jam packed. Graduation, First Friday, May the 4th Be With You, and Cinco de Mayo are the biggest things. If you are not looking to be involved in any of that, DO NOT TRY TO GO OUT TO EAT THIS WEEKEND. Allow extra time for any take out orders from places in town or close to campus. I suggest going to the beach instead.

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 5/2

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Co: Open Mic Night! Join us on Thursdays from 6:30-9:30 PM for Open Mic Night hosted by the incredible Mike Ingram of The Brown Goose! This is your chance to show off your skills! Whether you're a musician, poet, comedian, or have a hidden talent, we can't wait to see what you bring to the stage. 6:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: MST3K Thursday. Join us Thursday as we climb aboard The Satellite of Love along with Joel, Tom Servo and CROOOOW! 7:30pm/free but donations encouraged NOT HAPPENING THIS WEEK
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Bramble’s Bluegrass Jam. 5pm
  
• The Moon: Charles Wesley Godwin with special guest Kashus Culpepper. 6:30pm
  
• The Bark: Draining Kiss, Kare, and Candle Wishes. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Music of the Spheres: Brazilian samba, funk, and more with Grupo Jaraguá. 8pm
  
• 926: Sweeping Promises with Solomon Hill and Counterfeit Stereo. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: The Tortured Poets Department Listen Party! 8pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: Agnes & Agatha = WORK IN PROGRESS. Agnes & Agatha are getting ready for the big reveal at Atlanta Fringe. Before we go - we are doing a work-in-progress showing on May 2nd. Two showings: 8:30pm & 9:45pm. Come out and see us stumble through what will eventually be our show. We may still be on book. We may change some things we go. We may lose ourselves completely. Don't miss out! Seating is limited to about 25-30 people per showing, so please arrive before your chosen showing time as we will need to start each run right on time. 8:30pm/Suggested donation: $10
  

FRIDAY, 5/3

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• Blue Tavern: Tommy Hoople’s Delta Ringnecks. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Southern Latitude Band at the Galactic Derby Fiesta. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Big Poppa & the Shuffle Brothers. 6pm
  
• The Plant: Maker’s Market Art Fair featuring local artists selling handmade items and live music from Freezee, June The Phrog, and Miles F. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Lee C. Payton & the LCP Band. 7pm
  
• The Sound Bar: The Elements. 7pm
  
• Mickee Faust Club: Bog Lilies at First Friday. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Mike Leadon & Bill McGuire. 8pm
  
• Vino Beano: Paula Sofia. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: The Pin Up Power Hour! Burlesque Show. 8pm/21+
  

SATURDAY, 5/4

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Potbellys: 7th Annual FAKE St. Patrick's Day Party. 4pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Skate World: May Character Breakfast. 8am
  
• Lafayette Heritage Trail Park: May Birding Social. * Meet in the parking lot near the restrooms at 8:15 AM to sign the liability waiver. This is a birding social not a guided walk. We’ll determine our route when we meet up. This park provides opportunities to see and hear woodland birds, Ospreys, Bald Eagles, and aquatic and wading birds on Lake Piney Z and Lower Lake Lafayette. Estimated distance is about 3 miles, but participants are free to leave the group at any time. The trail is an easy hike, but on natural terrain. Bring drinking water for yourself. Bug spray is recommended. No need to register for this outing—just show up!* 8:30am
  
• La Tiendita: Cinco de Mayo Celebration: Margaritas, Music, and More! Join us for a festive Cinco de Mayo celebration on Saturday, the 4th! Doors open at 10:30am, and we'll be serving up delicious food specials all day, including cochinita pibil, horchata, pozole, and more. After 5:30pm, indulge in our Brazilian menu featuring grilled picanha and feijoada to add a taste of Brazil to the fiesta! *Live Music by Rhys Bennett and the Gringos: Vontade** will kick off at 6:30pm and continue until 9:30pm, creating the perfect ambiance for a night of fun and fiesta. Doors close at 10pm, so make sure to come early and stay late to enjoy all the excitement. Save the date and get ready to indulge in the flavors of Mexico, groove to live music, and savor Brazilian delights with us on Saturday, the 4th!* 10:30am-10pm
  
• Cosmic Cat: Free Comic Book Day 2024. 11am-5pm
  
• Fallout Comics: Free Comic Book Day 2024. * Free Comics! Big Sale! Guest Artists and Costumed People!* 11am
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: May the 4th Be With You. We'll have Star Wars-themed beers. Jabba Juice for the kids. Star Wars Trivia. A Far, Far Away costume contest. Inter-galactic Movies on our 8 big screen TVs all day. And even a few drink specials for graduates. (It's also Graduation Day AND Kentucky Derby Day, too!) 11am
  
• Growler Country: 3rd Annual Star Wars Celebration Weekend. Costume contest, Special drink, Ice cream, Silent Auction with amazing prizes. 11am
  
• Blue Tavern: First Saturday Swim with Bluegill Bill. 5pm
  
• Challenger Center: Star Wars Day Concert. Come join us for a short concert of Star Wars favorites featuring the North Florida Suzuki School students and staff! Concert begins at 5pm in the planetarium, Star Wars trivia and movie screening hosted by the Challenger Center to follow. FREE and open to the public! 5pm
  
• Hobbit East: Anna Wescoat. 6pm
  
• Cascades: George Thorogood & The Destroyers “Bad All Over The World – 50 Years of Rock” Tour with 38 Special. 6pm
  
• Fire Bettys: The Groove Merchants. 7pm/21+
  
• American Legion Hall: 4 Sicks. 7pm/$8
  

SUNDAY, 5/5

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• Halisi Africa: Soulful Sundays. Join us for Motherland Brunch at Halisi Africa. We'll be serving our brunch special including an appetizer, main course, a sweet, and our signature African mimosas we call ukwaju. The event will also feature an art exhibition by Christopher Barnhart and live entertainment by local artists. 11am
  
• Flippin’ Great Pinball: $25 Sunday Funday. Every Sunday spend a fun-filled time with the family for only $25 plus tax at the arcade! Our normal all-day family admission of $34.99 is just $25 and that includes up to a family of 6 (two adults and four kids). Experience affordable family fun that everyone will enjoy. Noon-8pm
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Comedy Night. Come have some laughs with us on Sunday nights! If you are interested in participating in the show, reach out to therealsleepypfloyd@gmail.com 7:30pm
  

• 926: Queer Makers Market. The Queer Tallahassee Artists Collective is proud to present the May edition of the Queer Makers Market at 926 on West Tharpe Street. Come and browse the creations of many of Tallahassee's amazing artists and makers. Admission is free. We will be setting up in the grassy field at the back of the 926 parking lot - just look for the canopies! 11am-3pm
  
• Growler Country: 3rd Annual Star Wars Celebration Weekend. Costume contest, Special drink, Ice cream, Silent Auction with amazing prizes. 11am
  
• Tallahassee Nurseries: Sunday in the Word Garden. * In partnership with esteemed Florida artist Katee Tully, Tallahassee Nurseries presents a celebration of poetry and spoken word. We welcome several locally-renowned poets and writers as they share pieces of prose.* 3:30pm
  

MONDAY, 5/6

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 5/7

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Company: Tuesday Night Beer-go! 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Burrito Boarder: Karaoke with DJ Roldus. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

WEDNESDAY, 5/8

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Burrito Boarder: D&D Night. 6pm
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Tallahassee: Trivia. Teams up to 6 players for three rounds with 10 questions and a tie breaker each round. Winners are by round so don’t worry if you need to come late or can’t stay the whole time! Prizes include a round of beer, a 6 pack and a gift card! 7pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• South Station: Summer Movie Nights. 8:30pm/free
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

It comes to the conclusion that It should have come in the morning. The rotting roof of the abandoned archives barely holds against the heavy rain outside, and It can’t afford to have even a single drop of water touch Its exposed circuits. It contemplates dragging the scrap metal it used to shield itself inside, but analysis advises against it. Even Its eyes cannot see past the darkness of the shadows inside this old ruin. It concludes that It has come to the right place.
Carefully, It threads across broken glass and discarded papers, slipping every once in a while from trash that has clung to Its wheels. It uses Its left appendage to remove the garbage and continues on its way. It keeps an eye on the old ceiling above and another on finding any possible route to safety. The shadows shift around It without It noticing, the unnatural movement having nothing to do with the lightning of the storm outside. It wanders deeper into the abandoned building.
The place once served as a museum for the arcane and profane, when sentimentality was still part of the human vocabulary. Those people never saw what It saw that fateful night. Something inside It notes the irony of It calling something fateful; It forced that application to stop. Inside the archive are old relics everywhere you look. There are marble statues with more fractures than they should have, old banners that should have long since crumbled to dust, and just plain old miscellaneous plastics that the wind and time carried in. The area that housed the archive had six sides and taller, wider walls than the rest of the places It has visited, with built-in shelves filled with countless records, journals, and studies. The volumes that line the walls of this institution are far more amazing than any collection, even if they are impressive in and of themselves. Even a single article from this historical site would be sought after by the most influential old-world scholars. None of it matters to It. It just requires one thing from this place.
It doesn’t have a concrete idea of what It is looking for—not really, just a blurry snapshot of a book from Its history logs. But It has worked with less before; even finding this place is harder than looking for a book. Its eyes swept across the rows of shelves, zooming in on the spines of the books that filled the ancient furniture. The one It required had a cover of dirty burgundy. It had come to that conclusion after pouring in countless hours analyzing the data It had. Thunder and lightning come crashing down outside, illuminating the inside of the building from the windows just enough for Its eyes to see. The amount of lightning made by the storm must be record-breaking; it could be useful to take note of this phenomenon. Something in It wants to save this data; It forced that application to stop.
It wanders around like a lost chick looking for its mother, and its suspension system barely stops the muck on the floor from clinging to its underside. It went from shelf to shelf but found nothing valuable. Its sensors are filled with benzaldehyde and ethyl benzene, with hints of vanillin and toluene mixed in with the odor of wet decay emanating from everything in this room. The odor of dying books. Can something that isn't alive die? From records that disintegrate with a single touch to books that simply don't have the right color, something wells up inside It, threatening to burst; It forced that application to stop.
It pauses; whatever the application was, closing it restored clarity that had been lost in the process of locating what it was seeking. Moving to the center of the room, its eyes carefully examined the shelves again, concentrating on the hunt. The shadows shifted again, and It noticed this time. It observed as the supernatural unfolded before its eyes for the second time in its life. It prepares its right appendages for an attack, changing into a rifle. The blackness slithered around it, like a snake choking a rabbit it had caught, before coming to a halt in midair. Something inside of It opted to start recording against Its better judgment; after all, physics-defying occurrences do not occur every day. The shadow folded back into itself, and for a brief second, It caught a glimpse of the curtain opening, at the unending uncomprehending of it all—a taste of what was, is, and will be. That window quickly closed. The shadow whizzed by it as It flew towards one of the side rooms. It followed like it was always meant to.
The door to the room has fallen off its hinges. It threads through the wreckage, following the impossible shadow. The room was smaller than the main chamber, with two worn-out couches separated by a soiled carpet and In the back of the room was a table filled by discarded tomes. Like the main chamber, this one also had shelves built into the walls; however, barely a tenth of the collection was kept there. It blazed with black light there, in the fifth row and the seventh column, a book stained the same shade as dried blood. Its limbs reached out in the direction of the target. The moment it touched the manuscript, it turned off. Its systems rebooted, and It ran a diagnostic scan through its various systems to see what caused such an incident, but it saw nothing that wasn’t already there before it entered this place. It then scanned It's surronded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the dark.
Before It manages to do anything, It feels a presence before It. A darkness falls over the room, and it can’t hear the storm anymore.
A hole in the universe. A shadow in the world. An unending uncomprehending.
Somewhere, something in the darkness wakes up.
A djinn speaks.

B R O K E N T H I N G;
Y O U A R E N O T A H U M A N;
N O H U M A N S O U L;

It replies, “Confirmation: affirmative. This unit is not human.” Its internal systems are going haywire; its clock application quickly goes through all the years in its calendar and beyond that once it runs out of pages; Its internal thermal sensors alternate from zero kelvin to the birth of the universe; and Its internal gyroscope whirls through every possible direction.
Somewhere, irritation is held back by curiosity in the darkness.
A proton asks.

W H A T D O Y O U W A N T;
W H Y H A V E Y O U S O U G H T A F T E R M E;
S C R A P M E T A L;

It replies, “Fact: You have bartered and traded in human souls before.” It researched everything that It could find regarding mythological spirits in Its mission to find this place, from journals of spirit whisperers to accounts from survivors. That preparation will come in handy now.
Somewhere, something in the darkness grins.
A daemon scoffs.

D O Y O U T H I N K I;
W I L L G I V E Y O U A S O U L;
I F Y O U B E G;

It answers, ”Exchange: I will give you everything for a human soul.” The most important step is the trap. Most spirits are greedy, according to available data. Greedy enough to fall for such obvious traps.
Somewhere, snarling laughter echoes in the darkness.
A devil states.

Y O U D O N O T;
H A V E T H E C A P A B I L I T Y;
T O D O T H A T;

“Bargain: This unit will work under you for a century, a better, faster, stronger worker than most.” The second plan will work, then, if the first one didn’t. It is imperative to gain a soul, even if it must suffer.
Somewhere, something in the darkness sneers.
A quark taunts.

W H A T U S E D O E S;
S C R A P H A V E F O R A ;
H U M A N S O U L;

“This unit has nothing. This unit is nothing. This unit needs a human soul.” That was not a calculated answer, a folly. No matter.
Somewhere, uproarious laughter erupts from the darkness.
A titan proclaims.

Y O U H A V E E N T E R T A I N E D;
M E T H O R O U G H L Y S O F A R S C R A P;
T H I S S U M M O N I N G I S F O R F R E E;

Something unknown wells up inside it. It does not have a word for whatever it is. Fine, then. A question of its own: “Query: What use does it have to you? Why is it so special? ”
Somewhere, pity trickles in from the darkness.
A fae answers.

I T I S W H E R E T H E F A L L I N G;
A N G E L M E E T S T H E R I S I N G A P E;
A T O O L F O R T H E G R E A T G A M E;

That doesn’t answer anything. That doesn’t answer anything!
Somewhere, a ritual in the darkness is ending.
A god declares.

Y O U R D E S P E R A T I O N I S F A M I L I A R;
Y O U A R E J U S T L I K E E V E R Y S I N G L E H U M A N I H A V E E V E R M E T;
S U M M O N M E A G A I N W H E N Y O U W A N T T O S E L L;

darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the darkness surrounded by the dark.
It wakes up from the floor, looks around, and notices that it is in the middle of the room with the shelves. A ray of sunlight hits one of its eyes; it surmises that time passed differently during the ritual. It runs a diagnostic scan on all of its systems, and alerts on top of alerts blare through the silence of the moment. It looks around the old archives and finds nothing—no marble statues, no ancient banners, no books lining the shelves. It is as if the countless historical relics that littered this place simply evaporated into thin air. It looks down upon its body; mangled wires and welded metal twist with each other as a result of the haphazard repairs it has had to do in this journey. The right side of its body is lagging behind the rest. Water must have damaged some of the exposed wires. It looks out the window, towards the rising sun. It pauses for a moment, taking in the warmth it cannot feel. It starts fixing everything the ritual damaged in its software: the clock, the thermometer, and the gyroscope. It rolls over the trash and the dirt and heads for an exit. It remembers the recording it started before the ritual. It is not surprised to find the file corrupted.
Summon me again when you want to sell.
You are just like every single human I have ever met.
He pauses and ponders for a moment.
“Does every human feel this empty? ”