My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been together for about 3 years. I love him a lot, and our relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever been in, hands down. But while I still feel like there are things to sort out, he has expressed many times that he knows he wants to marry me and have kids with me, etc. For some reason, that is making me feel crazy—how can he be so sure while I am not?
Background on long distance: Currently, I live in Los Angeles and he lives in Miami. I just moved to L.A. in December, because I have always wanted to live there, I have a good amount of friends there from school and summer camp, and I feel like right now I’m not tied down with home owning or kids or taking care of my parents, etc. so now is a good time to try a new city, try new adventures. (my two bests girl friends also agreed to move to L.A. with me, so even more reason!). He doesn’t really understand that mindset and hasn’t have the urge to try a new city, so while I would’ve been happy if he came with me, I was very transparent that I didn’t want him to come JUST for me, I wanted him to want to come a little for himself—and since no part of him wanted to come, he stayed. I have loved it so far, and although he obviously wishes we were together, he is mostly supportive. I’ve done long distance before, so I wasn’t worried about it going into it. Actually, at first, he said he didn’t want to do long distance at all, and we were planning to break up, but he changed his mind and honestly it hasn’t been bad. I’ve been busy with work and he’s writing a book, so it’s given us both time to focus on our other duties in life. Sometimes he will make comments like, “well we could do that together…if you were here” but I understand he’s just trying to cope. I have a lot of friends and at times he does seem to get jealous of me spending time with them or if I mention I met a new acquaintance that is a man, but I would NEVER cheat on him as he has a history of being cheated on, and that’s simply just not something I have an urge to do. I love him very much.
Family background: He has a pretty nuclear family; mom, dad, two brothers and a sister. They all get a long and while his whole family is pretty loud, and they sometimes fight, it’s never really been a question on if his parents would stay together or not. The one thing that does bother me is that his mother does take on the stereotypical “nagging” wife/mom role, the butt of a lot of jokes…which is kind of my nightmare. On the other hand, my parents divorced when I was 3 because my mom cheated, and my mom moved away to Montana. I don’t have a great relationship with my mom, but I have done a lot of therapy and worked through a lot of the trauma that came with their separation/ her abandonment. Proud to be doing well, and proud of how much work I’ve put in to get here. I think because of this, I’m obviously more risk averse when it comes to marriage—though I do know that I want to be married and I do want kids, I obviously think it’s a big decision and for my future kids (and myself! And my partner!) it’s not something I take lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from cynical about marriage. I just want it to be a thoughtful decision. I naturally worry about losing my independence but think with the right person, it can be a beautiful partnership.
He wants to be married soon, and wants kids sooner rather than later. He’s kind of expressed that he feels like his current life is on hold until he is married and has kids—that life before that is not “real” life. And he says he knows that I’m 100% the person he wants to do it with. I think he COULD be that person, but I feel like there are some deep talks we still need to have. Anytime I ask him what he thinks our life would look like in 5 years, location-wise or financially or even just how we spend our free time, he just says “I don’t know, we will figure it out.” It feels like he thinks everything will just spell itself out for us once we get married…but I would like to know at least some of the direction of the path that I am signing up for. He is not an overly ambitious person career wise, and I’m more of an overall planner and more career oriented, so I feel like I will end of making a lot of the big decisions on my own and will will be the bigger breadwinner, which is fine…but it doesn’t feel like the equal partnership I’ve always dreamed of. I know not every bucket of life (finances, childcare, housework, etc.) can be split 50/50, but I think the splits should be distributed enough that one person doesn’t carry too much. Which IMO, which is what led to my parents divorce. And with a single father raising me, I had to be very independent and take care of a lot of things myself. And I’m good at it. But after 2.5 decades of it, I am tired. I want a partner who I can fall back on and who can take care of me sometimes. My BF is great at doing this in the short term, but I fear his rose colored glasses about marriage are clouding his ability to be able to really understand the practicalities/realities/challenges of building a life together. I’m worried it’s been a good fit for where we were in our lives in our mid twenties, with the same circle of friends, but maybe incompatible for the long run. Also, our politics are kind of different, so that’s fun. But something I think I can work with.
But I love him so much :( he is funny and loving and I enjoy the little bubble of life we’ve created thus far. I think he would be a great dad. He makes me feel beautiful, and of course it is nice to hear that someone is so sure about you. But the imbalance in our “sureness” is making me feel like a total asshole. Maybe it would be dumb to throw away this great person…maybe I am letting my childhood get in the way.
As I’ve said, I’ve done a lot of therapy so I am usually pretty good about processing my emotions…but this really has me spiraling lol. And I have talked to my therapist about this too, don’t worry. Just curious about Reddit opinions!!!
TL;DR - My boyfriend (27M) says he’s 100% sure about marrying me (27F) and I don’t understand how he could be so sure and it’s making me less sure, I feel like there is still a lot to figure out.

We have a gaggle of us that walk to school in the morning... about 7 kids and 4 adults, and we pick up more along the route as we get closer. It's a fun morning ritual. Today is "Hawaiian day" during the last week of school, so rather than walking in my company polo like I normally do, I put on my loudest, most obnoxious tiki shirt and put my morning coffee in a tiki mug. When the crew started to gather the kids were jealous of my daughter's lei. Luckily, being the neighborhood tiki weirdos, my wife was able to run inside and bring out a dozen spares.
None of the adults even commented on my ridiculousness. Not sure if that means my behaviour is out of line or if they've just gotten used to my shenanigans.
Sometimes I have to take a minute and remember that I was the only one who got a kick out of it... but that doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing.
... also my 2yo pointed out every image on my shirt screaming "OH! TIKI GUY RIGHT THERE! FUNNY!"
That's all. Happy Tuesday.

i graduated last year, and here is my advice to incoming freshman
freshman: take photos of everything. save the funny memories. you’re inevitably going to do something that you regret. move on, enjoy the time you have while you have it. it truly will be over before you know it. don’t drink too much. you will, but try to limit the amount you black out. you’ll end up feeling like shit and doing and saying things that you don’t want to. be yourself. people will love you if you are authentic. don’t be pressured to fit in to the stereotypical new england lifestyle, our differences are what make us human and beautiful. don’t overstay your welcome. don’t always be the last person at the party or the person constantly trying to push people into spending time with them (especially in relationships) try to eat well. the freshman 15 is real and takes a toll on your mental health. yes, holy cross is on a hill and you’ll probably lose 5 pounds from walking during the first month. but that will not last. this has nothing to do with how you look, but how you feel. make sure to incorporate movement in any way you can to keep yourself healthy. try a variety of classes so you KNOW what you want. don’t just stick to the major you think you want. don’t take anything too seriously, other than school. the things that you will regret not trying harder at will be your classes. social obligations are fun, but they’re even more fun when you’re not stressed about slipping behind during your classes. you can say no to things. there will always be another party. you have 4 years, you will not remember if you stayed in one night to study instead of going to white eagle. your GPA will remember the A you got on the test though. be kind. people get caught up in appearances and the highschool definition of what is “cool and popular”. people will ALWAYS remember you kindly if you are kind to others. don’t get a reputation for being a bitch. have fun, make memories, and go cross go.

Most everyone learns it. Most everyone knows how to implement it. Most people find it to be a regular part of life. What is it; it’s personal space. Harry and Meghan seem to both lack the respect of people's personal boundaries. Worse. They seem to feel entitled to cross the boundaries of others. It is a well documented pattern that Harry is drawn to touching the chests of other men in public. Deliberately. It is bizarre that a man who grew up training to be a working royal would do something so bizarre for the cameras to capture.
In the Netflix reality show, Meghan complained that hugging William and Catherine was a slight against her. As if not wanting to hug Meghan means that William and Catherine are cold. That people shouldn't like them for having the gall to not want to be hugged by her. William and Catherine are autonomous adults. They should have the right to their personal space. They should get to decide who gets to hug their bodies and who does not. That shouldn't be challenging to understand. William and Catherine already have public duties where they shake people's hands and greet others while in close physical proximity to people they don't know. William is most likely used to people trying to take advantage of his position and status. It is understandable why he might have his guard up when meeting a stranger nevertheless his brother's new girlfriend.
Familiarity with another takes time. It does not come by trying to throw someone off by asking to use their lipgloss. Constantly hugging others doesn't necessarily make a person approachable. In fact, the body language this couple demonstrates makes them seem unfriendly. No one would go into the workplace or in public around others, clinging to their spouse. It gives the impression of a date, not an event to interact with others. It is not feminist to elbow a husband out of the way. The kind of forced intimacy Harry and Meghan display of themselves or others is not warm or genuine. It comes across as contrived.
British people do not find hugging to be jarring. What is jarring is Meghan's inability to read a room. There was a lot of whining from Team Tig and Todger that the detractors of Harry and Meghan were so put off by Meghan's wardrobe while in Nigeria. Her outfits were fine for a day at the beach or for an evening out. Wearing backless dresses to visit schools is not appropriate no matter what. The trip was heralded as a trip for Invictus (shocker, it wasn't). If the trip was for Invictus, wearing cut outs and spaghetti straps to what should be an event promoting the Games, is a key way to take the focus off of the cause and onto the so called patrons. Just perhaps the Invictus Games is not about the service-members anymore by design.
Anyone anywhere can learn the customs and traditions of another country. Culture is meant to be shared and appreciated. Even if the one learning does not agree with a specific culture, being a diplomat is putting that aside for something outside of themselves. No one should go to another country thinking they own the place and that the locals should cater to them. It does not take an International Relations degree to enter a house of worship of another faith and show reverence. An American can learn the words to God Save the King and a Brit can learn what is typically served for Thanksgiving.
Queen Mary of Denmark and Queen Maxima of the Netherlands learned Danish and Dutch respectively as they hail from Australia and Argentina. But Meghan Markle had to learn hymns for church and that is supposed to make her a victim.
Given that Harry was raised to be an ambassador for his people, it is curious that his wife was so ill prepared for it. They flunked out of being royals but everyone is supposed to believe they were so good at it the Queen and all of them were so jealous of them. If that is true, it’s so weird why they appear to fail at everything they do now. It’s really quite touching how logic and sense never seems to apply.

Because then I could just have a regular disappointing day instead of an extra disappointing day.
I got two cards this morning, one from my husband that is so far from anything that applies to me and another one from my kids that they didn't even get to sign for me because God forbid should my husband take 10 extra minutes and include them.
I have running around to do with all 5 kids after school, so it's a busy night, but I'm pretty certain there will be no cake or little trinkets because "birthdays aren't that big of a deal" to my husband. But they're a big deal to me, and I make them a big deal for everyone else in my life. But we all know that doesn't matter when you're married to a narc.
I spend everyday of my life serving my family, and I just wish more than anything else that I could have a day where I'm made to feel as special as I try to make them feel. Of course I don't blame my kids, they're too young to do anything on their own, but almost all of them are old enough to recognize that this won't be like anyone else's birthday. Why doesn't mom get the same birthday celebration? Because mom's not doing it for herself.
My parents want to take us all out later in the week for ice cream to celebrate, so I'm thankful for that, but honestly I just want to forget about it all. It's just a reminder of the fact that my husband can't be bothered.
I've been so strong lately, not letting him get to me, but today I am weak and sad. I'll be doing paperwork, straightening up the house, folding clothes and making dinner with my 2 year old before I pick the other kids up from school, and I'll try not to let the Facebook birthday notifications trigger me: " Happy birthday! Have fun celebrating with your beautiful family!" Sure, I'll try.
Thank you all for being here and letting me get it all out.

I m a teenager and I am 18 years old. I am writing this one month before my final exams of 12th grade . Why am I writing this ? Probably because I don’t have any friends to talk with , my parents won’t understand me because my whole life is built on a lie. For example my parents are working a lot , they barely have time for me . In the remaining time, I talk to my mother, she thinks we have a very close relationship and that we can discuss anything, when in fact everything she knows about me is a lie. She thinks I have a lot of friends, I made up a lot of funny stories for her, she doesn't know what grades I have because I was average and never had any problems at school. So basically she doesn't know anything but that I'm happy. In fact I m not , but we ll move to this later on. Because of my lies, I was excluded from people who were my friends for 4 years, they didn't know me in reality but on the internet. They knew my address and name, which scared me to death. I lived for 2 months in panic that they are hunting me and that they want to hurt me. I'm still a little scared, but I realized how little people care about you. Excluding these things I have a serious problem with pnography. Probably pnography helped me to escape from the lies I created, to forget a little bit what a disaster I am. It has become an addiction that is momentarily destroying me day by day.
I think you understood my situation a little bit, I have no friends, I am addicted to pornography, my parents think that I am well and happy and my whole life is built on lies
I think I'm writing this because I don't feel anything anymore. The exams are approaching and I am not able to study, I feel a constant emptiness inside me. The only time that emptiness disappears is when I watch a series or sleep. I have no passion, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, my parents want me to attend a college that I don't want, the only thing I want at this moment is to feel joy again for a few seconds.
Thank you for reading this far, because you are the only ones who know this about me=)

Hi all,
This is actually my first post on here. A little about myself I’m the eldest daughter (23yrs) in a brown household (love that for myself). I swear if I could be born again I’d love to be the youngest of the family (even thought I guess if someone’s narcissistic it doesn’t truly matter whether you’re the eldest or youngest)
Anyway, I’m currently in a country and I’m moving to the states and my mum and lil brother are staying there with my dad atm. My sister (18yrs) is busy with the most important exams of her high school(she’s in her last year) and me and my brother(he’s 22) just finished our university exams so we’re free! It’s just us 3 in this country rn and our flight back is in 30 days and we both need to sell all the extra stuff in the house that didn’t come with our rented house. We also need to pack all our clothes etc and clean this house.
So far I’m the only one who’s been working on selling stuff on Facebook marketplace and cleaning out cabinets in the kitchen and the garage etc. my brother spends the entire day on his computer playing games or watching anime. I don’t hate my brother but sometimes I get really close to it. If I was his mom I swear he would’ve long been disowned. He’s the most unclean person alive (he never cleans his own bathroom, he leaves his dishes in his room for me to come collect and clean, never picks up his own dirty clothes I have to do his laundry, I even had to clean his shoes after he went out yesterday simply because i couldn’t stand how dirty they were) I like to stay clean and keep the house clean too. The only reason he even leaves his room is to eat (Ofcourse I’m the one cooking)
The issue is my parents have both simply given up on him at this point which he uses to his advantage even more. He’s living his best life, goes out with his friends and doesn’t lift a finger in the house.
Despite all this my mum still calls me and gets mad at me for doing things too slowly and not putting everything up on Facebook marketplace quickly enough?! I’ve already sold two items on there but it takes a while to make sure the person coming to our house isn’t a creep. Yet, every time she calls all she talks about is how I’m not taking things seriously, how I’m so lazy, how I’ll pay for the flight tickets if I don’t sell everything beforehand. We needed to renew a card for travelling and there’s a long wait time on it (3 months) which I still applied for despite the wait but yesterday I found out that I could request it earlier if it’s an emergency with the flight details. However rather than being happy or thanking me for finding this out my mum simply gave out since I should’ve found this earlier and it’s my fault if we don’t get an appointment quickly enough.
My friends are all travelling and doing their own things in life and since this week is the last week they’re free they asked me to hang out but I can’t even tell my mom that “hey can I pls hang out with them one last time” because I just know she’ll flip. I’m so stressed about this whole situation and I literally feel so numb and sad all the time. I’m not a social person either but I wanna go out just to change my environment. I know so many people have it worse but ah I wish i could catch a break.
Even when I finally get to the states I know my parents are expecting me to work as soon as I get there. I just want a week off. Just to live my own life in peace and not stress about anything. What would you do if u were in my position?

Worked up the courage to post after reading a few good profile on this sub. Here goes.
Age: Male just turned 27 last month
Height: 5’10” 66 kg
Caste: I do not believe in castes and neither do I associate with one. That being said I belong to an Urdu speaking family and my forefathers migrated from Delhi at the time of partition
Faith: Sunni Muslim (My family do not believe in nazar, niyaz, milad or any other bidah for that matter)
City: Karachi born and bred, would prefer potential matches from Karachi as well so as to make meet-ups easier for the families
Relationship Status: Single, never married/engaged
Education: Bachelors in Engineering
Occupation/Employer: Senior Engineer at a global cloud provider
Family: We’re 4 siblings in total. I’m the 3rd one and 2 of the eldest are married. Father is retired from work and mother is/has always been a homemaker
Do you want kids? Yes but not immediately
Goals/future plans: Settle down, do well professionally, have enough in life and be thankful for it
Ideal timeline for marriage: 1 year but that’s not something rigid and more up to whatever ends up being mutually agreeable
About myself: I am an avid reader and have always had a curious mind so I grew up being the erudite in my family (my teen years were spent watching vsauce on youtube :P). Having a calm/laid back demeanour, I have a practical approach to life with just the right amount of wondejest sprinkled in. There’s not a defined set of hobbies I have at any given point but love for football and a deep appreciation art (of all forms) have always been a mainstay. I value depth of connection with people I interact, depth of narrative/plot with media/content I consume (Succession is the GOAT tv series IMHO) and try to instil the same characteristics in my creative work. My core values are centred around honesty, compassion and genuineness - I am a straight shooter and do not appreciate manipulative tendencies in a person.
Some interesting facts:

• I’ve won Dawn’s spelling bee competition at the district level
• I don’t use any social media except TwitteX and occasionally Reddit when a simple google search doesn’t work
• My personality type INTJ-A
• I am not overtly outgoing and prefer being indoors, needing alone time to recharge myself after being in a prolonged social setting (weddings/dawats etc). Having said that, I do like to travel (have visited Northern Pakistan and would like to visit again)

Views on /Expectations from marriage:
I would like someone whom I can share a holistic experience of life with. I am a sensitive individual with boundless empathy and I’d like to share that compassion with my partner. I wouldn't be more comfortable with someone than who is, first and foremost like a friend. There are some people who you have a quiet/unsaid understanding and that’s how I’d like to build our relationship to be with clear and up-front communication and healthy behaviour patterns.
I’d expect my partner to fulfil their faraiz and strive to be better. I am pretty open-minded about things and operate on high trust but my religious values are rooted within the bounds of our mazhab and the tenets of haya. That being said, no one is perfect and I’m all for doing a bit better today than the last day.
tldr; Everyone is their own person so all in all I’d like to strike a happy balance between being a best friend, knowing my partner by heart and being one out of two unfit pieces of puzzle occasionally wanting to devour each other and merging our souls :D
Deal Breakers/traits unacceptable to me: shallow personality, lack of empathy towards people/animals, intolerant of views/opinions different than yours, emotionally unavailable/immature, deceitful, disingenuous, disorganised, drinking/smoking
Requirements/Preferences: Education: At least 16 years of education
Age range: ~24 - ~27 years
Height: No preference
Religious school of thought: Sunni Muslim (NO nazr, niaz, milad, pimurid etc)
Views on wanting my partner to work: It’s up to them. Working is not a requirement but I would support them if they value their profession and want to pursue their careehigher studies
How soon would I like to involve the families: As soon as it’s mutually apparent that it’d be a good match
People are complex so there isn’t a collection of words or combination of sentences that can perfectly define a person. In the interest of time and dwindling attention spans I tried to keep it as concise as possible. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if ^ catches your interest. Thank you for reading!

I might sound petty but I want to share this here.
Di ako “super friendly” na tao, I am approachable naman and focused sa quality ng friends na meron ako. My giving love language are acts of service and giving gifts. Every time someone’s birthday is coming up, or getting married, or celebrating a milestone in life (may it be big or small), I always make sure to plan something for them. May pa-deliver ng flowers, cake, gifts, minsan may pa-simple birthday ganap (of course kasama na ibang friends ko rito).
Idk. When it’s my turn, I receive none from them. Minsan plain birthday greeting lang, ni gift wala. Hindi ako nagdedemand na bigyan nila ako, it’s just that masarap lang sana maexperience yung ganon. I am starting to think that I am just a background friend, but not a priority. Sorry if I might sound defensive or what on this one, but I feel like they see me kapag no choice or last resort na nila ako. Maybe, it’s because I am not that good as a friend. Maybe, it’s because I am not that funny, or too serious for them. Maybe, I say stupid things at times that they think bad of me. Feeling ko naman low maintenance akong kaibigan. Gosh, ang high school ko pakinggan. Shit.
Anyway, the life of the party in our group will be celebrating her birthday this Friday. And here I am, looking for a DIY gift curator and flower shop who can deliver it to her office on that day. Ako ang nakatoka sa group ulit to plan.
I am starting to think na I will celebrate my birthday silently from now on. Walang makakaalam, pamilya ko lang. Iniisip ko i-hide sa FB profile ko. Iniisip ko na huwag magsasalita about my birthday, or any plans I have.

21 F here and I have to say - it's so tiring to be fat, ugly, and extremely awkward. No one hardly bats an eye in my direction and my self-confidence is nonexistent. I can't remember the last time I was /genuinely/ complimented. I feel like I'm constantly complimeting others around me, and others are complimenting eachother, but I never recieve any myself.
Even in my very small friend group, they're amazing friends don't get me wrong, but they're always complimenting eachother, saying they're so pretty, thicc, skinny, funny, etc... And I just listen. I used to be pretty bright in middle ~early high school, taught myself fluent Japanese and Spanish, got all A's, was just generally pretty good at academics. Crickets.
I still remember when I was 13, my foster mom, one time, said that something I said was cute. So I tried so hard to do things that would make her compliment me again but nothing. Just fat comments and her dialing up the entire town when I did normal teenage stuff that she deemed as me being a terrible kid and ranting to them about me for hours on end. My foster dad SAed me and I would even encourage it sometimes even though I was so uncomfortable bc he would call me sexy, or beautiful, etc...
I just want to be loved, like genuinely. Every once in a while my aunt, who helps me out and takes me where I need to go, will say "you look cute" or smth but I can just tell it's not really genuine yknow? My mom has never really complimented me, she's not all the way there so it's not anything on her but the other day she said she misses my long hair because it used to make me look pretty and it kind of triggered me ngl, especially bc I've been growing it out and am so self-conscious about my hair. I'm just so tired of feeling this way, why am I so unloveable?

I've been living with the thought that i scarred someone for years and i just want to hear if others think it is as serious as i find it to be. It starts at an old school, maybe 8 years old or something like that. I get in a class (which, hint hint, ended up being probably the most mentally traumatic part of my life i've ever experienced) and i immediately met friends, targets and enemies. There was a group of foreigners, probably arabic of some sort, and they immediately started bullying me, because of my less severe ADHD and autism. They found it funny that i got angry easily. I was a shy little bitch so i didn't want to hurt anyone, but eventually they just bullied me to the point where i got pushed into being a mentally deranged psychopath willing to beat up anyone in my path.
Usually, i'd take my anger out on a girl named Victoria. She was obviously a victim of some sort of intellectual based diagnose of more heavy harm than mine, and it was sort of just a perfect target. She couldn't have her own argument, she didn't even know which finger on her hand was the middle finger. Ofcourse i never actually hit her, since she moved from the school in 2nd grade, probably on behalf of her parents. I'm sort of happy that she did, because that was around when i started hitting anyone in my path.
Before i started getting violent with others, i usually just pushed them down slides they were too scared of. Basically psychological warfare.
The really bad thing about this is that i ran on pills, like Elvanse, Ritalin and others. This hit me hard as a kid. When i was 6 i lost so much weight that i weighed about 10-15 kilos. It hit me physically and mentally. I would either get angrier, or calmer. If i got angrier, i ate more, if i got calmer, i ate nothing. We ended up ditching the pills when i turned 11, since i grew up and could do things properly. I also didn't get diagnosed with autism until i was 9, so i was given completely incorrect treatments, hitting me even more.
I ofcourse took several of these things to principals, and teachers, but as said, that school had really NO precautions. Teachers had full right to just not give a fuck, which is exactly what they did 90% of the time.
Ask me whatever, tell me whatever. I probably wont answer alot since i'm not reddit much, but i just want to know if it's as bad as it really is.

TL;DR I (14F) don't know what to do about my friend/classmate (15M) who has love-hate (this is kind of an exaggeration) feelings for me.
We're in the same class and graduating 8th grade in less than a month and I'm asking for help because I don't want to be the villain in his life. I'm always stressed about hurting people and I only ever tried to be kind and honest, but I was stupid and I messed up this time. I don't want him to remember me as the exact thing I am not. I hate conflict and being mean. I would rather compromise than hurt somebody's feelings, but now I am just at loss.
We started talking more in October and then got pretty close in November and December. We'll call him D. We went out mid December at the mall to buy a book for school and I ended up buying Christmas presents. He helped me pick stuff for all of my friends and then we ate. It was very much a date-like hangout and we even walked arm in arm to the bus stop at the mall. He also walked me from the bus stop to my front door.
Fast forward to a day before our school's Christmas event. I told my friends that I kind of liked him and they convinced me to tell him. I told him and we texted some more at home then we agreed to talk the next day after the event. That evening I thought about it all and I realized that I wasn't ready for a relationship. I am 14 after all and I have the most important exam of my life so far at the end of the school year (this is just the schooling system in my country). The next day I avoided him and then at home I explained everything through text because I was too anxious to do it face-to-face. I was a wimp and I wish I had the guts to actually talk to him. I apologized countless times. I felt horrible and I can't even imagine how it was for him. I still kinda hate myself for it, but at the time I believed it was for the best.
I thought about the whole ordeal and it made me realize I might have attachment issues. I'm so obsessed with being loved (I grew up very lonely) that I feel a certain level of romantic attraction towards anyone who gives me a little more attention (especially men which I know is terrible). I also don't mean this as an excuse, but rather as an explanation to why I acted the way I did. I liked how D made me feel about myself, not actually him (this is horrible, I know). After I explained everything I felt he was cool about it and I actually thought that maybe things were okay. I told him i wasn't going out until after New Year's because I was very busy with family (I wasn't avoiding him purposely I was actually busy) yet for about a week straight he asked me 2 times every day where I was which was kinda weird and made me not want to go out at all even after New Year's.
Fast forward to this March when a common acquaintance of ours (not in our class) talked to D because he'd heard from a friend of his that D still liked me. D told this acquaintance that he does indeed still like me, that I look good and that he likes my big breasts (he said this in a much less respectful way). I was shocked because I couldn't fathom D still liking me after I'd been a total witch to him. We'd been ignoring each other mostly ever since December and even though we agreed to stay friends and I was very confused.
A few days later I was talking to a good friend of mine, D's deskmate, and mentioned the acquaintance who told me D still liked me. I just repeated something funny he said. I didn't say anything about D because he was right there, but D got mad (he probably found out I knew stuff) and broke a pencil. I'd seen that he had problems with anger and jealousy (he used to read my texts to my online friend on the other side of the world who is also a guy and got upset when I'd say they're personal and we weren't even together), but I didn't think it was that bad.
My friend (we'll call her R) told me she found out from another friend in our group that I was driving D crazy with telling his deskmate (a very close friend of mine) about stuff like weird fanfiction about my favourite singer (Gerard Way) and my variety of dirty jokes. From what R understood, he didn't like me speaking about sexual stuff (I haven't done anything like that, it's just an interesting topic to me) around him. I didn't understand why it would bother him, but apparently it did. Maybe jealousy? I don't know.
Nothing much happened until this Saturday when our whole class was taking album photos. The basic and typically "popular" girl in our class invited my group (the 7 emo girls basically) alongside her group (her another 3 people) to the new Japanese restaurant in town. We get along fine with them, though they kinda gossip about us sometimes, so we gladly agreed to eat with them. A girl in our group (whom D liked last year; she was much harsher in rejecting him - she blocked him on all platforms) is a tad bit closer to the popular girl, so the two of them made the reservation for 11 people at the restaurant.
During the shoot, D and another classmate that we're not very close friends with (they're chill, we just don't talk all that much) overheard our sushi plans and asked me if we were going. I said yes and tried to kindly say that we have a reservation already for 11 people and that they can tag along, but sit at another table. I felt bad because I've been excluded countless times in social situations in my life and I didn't want them to feel that. Their parents who were also there questioned me and I was too ashamed to lie, so I said that yes, we had a reservation. D and the other person didn't come in the end.
That evening I texted D apologizing and explaining that I was just invited and that I wasn't the one making the reservation. He said that it's okay and not my fault and he said that the other person was also not mad at me. He asked me why i was so obsessed with apologizing and I made a sharp remark I didn't think through about being annoyed at my friends' insensitivity about excluding them. He asked me why I was telling him all that and I told him to forget it. He encouraged me to continue and just speak my mind. I said no and told him I only had a question. I asked "do you still like me?" and I proceeded to explain why that would be impossible. He said I was changing the subject and I didn't realize that he was the one doing it in reality. He told me again to just speak and that nobody else will know whatever I tell him. I refused, but he somehow convinced me and I made a small confession about being lonely and feeling like only 3 people truly like me. It wasn't as personal as it may seem because I have much deeper feelings I have never told anyone, but I was still shocked that he somehow made me spit out things it takes a lot of hard work to get me to say as I am a very introverted and closed off person. For some context I was literally shaking and hyperventilating from anxiety throughout the whole conversation. I asked him again if he still liked me and he responded in the morning, completely ignoring the question and asking about a math test we recently took.
Yesterday evening, on Sunday, I talked to another classmate and friend (again not very close, but he's nice) whom I'll call L. L told me D had sent the group chat with the other person who I apologized to for the sushi thing, L and another classmate (I presume) screenshots of our whole conversation (even though he promised he'd keep his mouth shut). L sent me a screenshot of D saying I played him before and after I rejected him and said I manipulated him and only pretended to be interested in the things he liked just to get close to him (for the record, I'm a big listener, I love hearing my friends talk about their passions and interests). He also said he hated me. I was shocked and very upset because while telling me everything is alright and that the mess in my mind will get better, he was talking nonsense about me to others and sharing private information.
I told my friends about all of this. R said it's all my fault and that I did give him false hopes even after I rejected him and that I give him too much importance. She basically said I'm a bad person because I told D I wasn't ready to date anybody after saying I liked him. She probably believes I did it for kicks, just like D thinks, but I swear on everything I have that I'm just very dumb and I have no idea how to navigate human relations. I'm a massive people pleaser and it shows. Two friends said that it is what it is and another four said that it is totally not my fault and that I did not give him false hopes after I rejected him and that I barely even acknowledged him during that time (I also think so, but R said I kept flirting with him - I ignored him completely and he ignored me just the same so I am very confused as to what she deems "flirting"). They said I communicated clearly that it's not him, but rather a personal issue and that I am very sorry and I will respect his decision if he doesn't want us to talk or be friends at all anymore. I am in a dilemma.
I feel like a bad bad bad person for what I did and how I acted and I have no idea if R is right and that I did keep giving him false hopes or if all of my other friends are right and it's not my fault. I never thought that my behavior (existing in his perimeter) would be considered as flirting, but apparently R thinks otherwise. In R's opinion sending him two TikToks in 3 months and talking to him 3 maybe 4 times through text and another two face-to-face from December to now was too much attention.
So, am I a horrible person who deserves unhappiness or is D just overreacting and being manipulative and toxic? Please help this is really messing with my mind.

So I had an epic crush on this guy when we were in middle school/high school (like between the ages of 13-16), it literally went on for like 2-3 years on and off.. I'm 99% sure he knew about it and that he wasn't interested, but unlike some of the other guys I liked I remember he was always nice/friendly to me regardless (we did theater together back then so we also had a "connection" outside of school).. I definitely don't actively think about him on an everyday basis at all but he'll randomly show up in my dreams now and then (again not every month etc or anything like that and no it's not "sexy dreams")...
Usually I let it go because I know it's just the feeling I enjoy, but for some reason this time I can't get the "I wonder what could happen now" thought out of my mind especially because I'm in a much better place mentally and I'm more confident than I've ever been (so it's not from a place of weakness or because I'm dissatisfied in life. Actually the fact that I'm finally willing to maybe let go of the "fantasy" is growth for me lol). It's really not a "what if" kind of thing, I know it couldn't have worked back then and I know we're both different people now, I'm just super curious to know if he's still that nice funny guy I fell for, where he is now... I'm really not hoping for a romantic relationship or even a friendship I'm really just looking for a chance to catch up and maybe move on (like even if it doesn't go well it or nothing happens at least I can stop wondering). I only have him on Facebook but he's not active/never posts anything so there's little chance that he'll even see the message

Ive never so so scared, lonely, and insecure in my entire life. All i do all day is either be alone and have constant negative thoughts about myself swarming me to the point where i cant even stay still or think straight or I distract myself with pointless shit.
Im finishing up Junior year and before the start of the year my mother said "try your hardest this year, Junior year is really important for colleges, if you get all As I'll be happy". Like everything she said that was a lie. I finished with all As and twice the amount of classes i normal take and our relationship has never been more horrible
Rn im looking at my college application and im genuinely scared for the future. During my Freshman and Sophmore years i was really immature. I was loud, attention seeker, never shut up, and mostly importantly didnt take school seriously. Because of that, my College resume is dogshit for any college i want to attend. For one i got shit grades in both my science classes (bio and chem) during Freshman and Sophmroe year. Im going into college as a PRE MED student majoring in BIOLOGY.
Thats not the worst of it, i basically slacked off all year for extracurriculars and my application is dry AF. No leadership positions, hardly any volunteering hours, barely participation in clubs. I also quit soccer due to stress reasons. Im doing the same for archery too. Ive done archery up until this year but like soccer it stressed me tf out and put me in another depression so im yet again quitting another activity. Another knock for applications.
And again that's not even the fucking worst part about it all. My STUPID. FUCKING. LAZY. ass hardly studied for the ACT. I just blew off the ACT classes my mom gave me during Junior year because im lazy and now my ACT scores are shit. I got a 25 the first time, second time i was feeling confident but only got a 26. Both scores not even in the ranges of the colleges i am expected to go to.
"Actually taking school seriously this year", what a fucking joke. Im still the same pathetic mf i was during underclassmen. So now ACTs off the table since im so shit at it. I took an SAT however it was right in the middle of finals, midterms, and AP test for all my classes so i could barely study. I got a 1290 on it which is about 27 on the ACT. My mom was fucking furious at me. I have basically one more chance to not fuck it up. The only dates left for the SAT is Aug and Oct. Oct way too close to the application deadline so i really only have one more chance. One more chance to study my ass off after the worst year of my life to get at least a 1400 on the SAT, and it's all my fault. Because i was lazy like always.
I dont know, rn im lying in bed alone after making myself depressed again with my thoughts with tears on my face and i just dont know what to do. I got really emotional suddenly and typed this up. I was gonna type about a bunch more stuff but the college thing took me so long and now the emotions gone.
I just feel so shameful about my entire status rn. I feel like some lazy, pathetic, skinny, ugly bitch rn and not like a talented, hardworking, academically successful, attractive child like my mom clearly wants. We're Asian so im basically a tool. Her bare minimum college is University of Pittsburgh, Ohio State, and UIUC, all of which are clearly not 'match' colleges for me. Downsizing and going to anything lesser just feels like failing to me.
I look at other kids in my grade who got like 30s first try on the ACT, have better GPAs, do extracurriculars, have leadership roles, etc and they're hardworking, honest, have friends, better looking, etc, etc, etc. Theyre just good people and im literally NOT. Everytime im in class i sit alone while they are all in groups chatting, and just being better i feel like dying. That's why im not gonna get together with my crush, shes literally infinitely better than me.
Again i dont know, im just so lost in thought and emotion, I have so much shit rn. College, being alone, start powerlifting, new gym routine, i wanna start calisthenics, i need a new diet, i want a different haircut, i need a new skincare routine, day and night study for the SAT, i need to get a job, i need to start making money this year, i have to do college classes this summer, i have to fix my eyebrows, i need a new clothes style, my body dsymorphia is getting really bad, my instrusive thoughts are getting really bad, i CLEARLY have an inferiority complex i REALLY need to fix, learning about college resumes, planning out college applications, college essays, colleges letters of rec,......
Like im so fucking confused and angry all the time and NOBODY is helping me. EVERYONE in my life either tells me im useless and wrong or just doesnt talk to me at all. Its always something new. Before this archery stress put me in depression for like a month, before that it was loneliness, before that it was more body dysmorphia, and more, and more, and more.
Im so confused and angry and i dont know what to do. I didnt even scratch the surface. Im mad again and so i just wanna conclude this. All in all i guess ill just keep on going.

Lately, both in person and on this sub, I have seen a worrying amount of misinformation spreading about the political party Aon Tu. This misinformation either states that they are a left/liberal party or that they are not right/conservative. This is however clearly wrong as any amount of inspection of their statements and social media makes clear; any clear dive into their policies and statements make it clear that they are instead very right wing, if not far right. They use the many familiar terms associated with similar parties, hold the same stances, and even retweet them and their content.
In order to illustrate this below I am presenting the various tweets made by Peadar Tóibín (the current leader of the party, their founder, and currently sole elected official) as well as their official twitter account. I have limited it solely to tweets due to time and space constraints, I have also had to limit the amount of tweets due to the same constraints There is more and I strongly encourage anyway to check their accounts for themselves. If there is interest I can do a deep dive into their other socials and statements, however I do not think there is a way to access the backlog of debates they have had on RTE and radio unfortunately. I believe this thread will stand on it's own however and other such threads won't be needed.
I will present the below tweets without comment, sorting them only into sections for ease of reading. Some may contain a note below in order to give more context as to what the tweet is referencing. The one section I did not include was the various tweets on the referendum, this is because due to recency I did not think it was needed.
Edit: Fixed some formatting errors below that escaped notice when first posting, as well as one entry being under the wrong heading.
Vaccine Denial:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 12/07/2021

Aontú opposes vaccine Passports for indoor Hospitality.
Its discrimination against many people mostly the young.
Its mandatory vaccination through the back door.
Again the Irish Gov is alone in the whole of Europe in the extreme path it's taking.

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/10/2021

99.7% of the adult population in Waterford is fully vaccinated, yet it has one of the highest Covid-19 incidence rates in the country.
The truth is the Gov don't know why this is happening.
Now they will refuse entry to pubs to 0.3% unvaccinated to see does that work. #NPHET

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/01/2022

No, it's not April Fools day.
That people being paid by the state are actually discussing this is incredible.
FF/FG/Greens need to knock this madness on the head ASAP.

Note: Linked news article can be found here; Nphet to consider mandatory vaccination, department preparing paper on legal and ethical aspects
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/10/2022

I have submitted this question;
To ask the Minister for Health, has he or his department ever received any data, evidence or information from Pfizer that indicates that that the Pfizer Covid Vaccine was ever tested in terms of its ability to stop the transmission of Covid?

Anti Covid Lockdown:
Tweeted by Toibin; 15/11/2020

480 people got Cancer today.
24 people died of Cancer today
27 people died of Heart Disease and Stroke today.
This will hardly get a mention in the media today.
#COVID19

Tweeted by Toibin; 13/05/2021

8 deaths related to Covid were reported yesterday.
We share our deepest sympathies with these families.
The manner in which Covid deaths are being reported is concerning.
They were all from March or earlier.
Reporting them yesterday gives people a false impression of risk.

Tweeted by Toibin; 26/05/2021

The majority of people who died from Covid caught Covid in a Nursing Home or a Hospital.
So while the whole country was shut closed most people died in locations that were run by or regulated by the government.
This is an incredible situation.

Note: A video is attached.
Tweeted by Toibin; 05/06/2021

All the the people with Covid in Hospital in Ireland would fit on 1 Double Decker Bus.
Yet people were baton charged in Dublin last night and
Pubs and Restaurants wont open indoors for another month.
#ItsTimeForCommonSense #OpenHospitality #southwilliamst #Aontú

Tweeted by Toibin; 14/07/2021

The Government's Hospitality Discrimination Bill has passed all stages in the Dáil after only a few hours of debate.
It will be now legal to discriminate against certain Irish citizens.
A sad day for Ireland.

Note: The bill which has a picture taken of it in the tweet can be read here.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 30/10/2021

Some citizens are allowed into pubs.
Some citizens are not.
It's stunning that this has happened in the 21st century.
It's stunning that so much of society has just accepted it.
Worst of all, it's not even working.

Tweeted by Toibin; 24/11/2021

I have recieved information that the Goverment,
has carried out NO scientific research into the effectiveness or otherwise of the Covid Pass.
At all.
#FollowTheScience #TheySaid

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/12/2021

Are the Gov going to say that a healthy young person thats triple vaccinated along with their Covid Pass can't have a pint after 5pm.
What's the point of it all so?

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/01/2022

Very interesting to see Nphet and the Dept of Health go from researching Mandatory Vaccines to lifting restrictions in 10 days!

Anti LGBT:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/10/2022

Women live in period poverty just a few miles from the Dáil.
Instead of helping them,
your virtual signalling political establishment
put a tampon machine in the men's toilet in the Dáil.

Tweeted by Toibin; 16/02/2023

Plans by FF, FG & Greens to change the law to allow 16 year olds to legally change gender, against advice of medical experts,
shows how completely alienated the political bubble is from the people of Ireland.
Aontú will oppose this and seek a return to commonsense and science.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 05/03/2023

When Minister O Gorman refused redress to many who had been in Mother and Baby Homes because of the 'lack of money', he raided hundreds of thousands from the Magdalene Scheme and Travellers supports & diverted the funding towards the LGBTQ+ Community.

Note: There is an article linked in the tweet, about an accusation made by Toibin. Read it here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 06/03/2023

Varadkar is wrong. 9 &10 year old children are too young to be taught about transgenderism. We have a duty of care to children.
No research has been has been carried out on the impact of such education.

Tweeted by Toibin; 07/03/2023

I've asked the Minister for Ed what research has the Dept of Education carried out
on the impact on primary school children of delivering material on Transgenderism to them in the classroom?
We've a duty of care to children.
Education should be based on evidence not ideology.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 08/03/2023

Tóibín asked Varadkar if his Gov had carried out any research as to the impact on 8 & 9 year old children of teaching about transgenderism in primary school.
Leo refused to answer the question.
Radical changes are being introduced against majority consent.

Note: There is an attached video.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/03/2023

Many people have been shocked by Paul Murphy's announcement.
But what's more shocking is that FF, FG, SF and the Greens,
are on exactly the same page as the hard left parties on teaching this ideology in every primary school in the country.

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/05/2023

This is incredible. All the actual crime that is happening on our streets and Gardaí are wasting time like this.
Even though there was no arrest here, this harassment creates a clear chilling effect on free speech and political discourse.

Note: There is an attached video in the tweet retweeted by Toibin, in it a Gardai is holding a polite conversation with an American holding a sign against "Gender Ideology." In their Twitter bio they describe themselves; "Father of two girls. Traveling the world to expose gender ideology and why children cannot consent to medical transition."
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 07/07/2023

Growing concern among parents that the new curriculum for 12 & 13 years in school is not age appropriate & is not science based.
Gender identity ideology is now mandatory for schools & thousands of parents will have no option but to withdraw their child from class.

Note: This article is linked on the topic of a statement made by Toibin.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 23/07/2023

This is why so many are angry with the Minister for Culture Wars, Helen McEntee.
Homicides are up, murder attempts are up, rape & sexual assaults are up, theft is up. Yet....
Gardaí management are focused on allowing male born Gardaí use women’s toilets.

Note: There is an attached article; here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 28/09/2023

The Green Party are becoming increasingly authoritarian in nature.
If you dissent from government sanctioned views, you will be investigated.
This is the opposite of a liberal democracy.

Note: There is a linked article; it pertains to an investigation by the IABA into the usage of their premises by a "Christian Group" advocating for the removal of all LGBT+ content from the SPHE curriculum.
Tweeted by Toibin; 14/03/2024

It is reckless beyond belief to give dangerous chemicals and irreversible surgery to children with gender dysphoria.
This must be made illegal in Ireland immediately.

Note: Includes a retweet of this news article.
Anti Hatespeech bill:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/06/2023

Helen McEntee has become the Minister for Culture Wars.
Incredibly Varadkar accused PBP of being a threat to Free Speech.
FG, FF & the Greens are the biggest threat to free speech.

Note: There is a link article here.
Tweeted by Toibin; 26/07/2023

US gives Dublin a security warning for US citizens travelling to Ireland.
Meanwhile Minister McEntee is too busy with the Hate Speech Bill and Safe Zone Bill to worry about real people suffering actual crime.

Tweeted by Toibin; 28/03/2024

Helen McEntee is distracted by the Culture Wars.
People just want her to do her job, & make the streets safer.
Instead, she spent the last two years on a Hate Crime Bill no one wants. #BinTheBill

Note: There is an attached video.
Other:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/02/2023

In the Dáil yesterday the hard left tried to close down a discussion on migration by calling people names.
This issue is too important. People have a right to respectfully ask questions and challange government policy.

Note: There is an attached video; it does not depict such name calling but rather Toibin accusing the government of name calling.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/07/2023

Another day and another culture war imported by the government from America.

Note: A retweet from Gript media with an attached video.
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/03/2024

There is a battle over the narrative of the referendum defeat happening at the moment.
Some within the political & media bubble want to erase the fact that so many people have had enough of the culture wars and want the country to get back to commonsense and bread and butter.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 19/03/2024

At a Dept of Education 'In Service' day,
their staff told secondary school teachers not to use the word 'Mother' in class as they said it was not inclusive.
They are implementing Gov policy.
Aontú disagrees wholeheartedly with this policy.
Happy Mothers Day.

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/04/2024

Says the man who seeks to delete more Irish sovereignty with the EU migration pact.

Note: A retweet from Simon Harris talking about the need to defend Ukraine's sovereignty.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 11/04/2024

The decision by FG, FF and Green MEPs to cede the power to control immigration into Ireland to Brussels was a serious mistake. Aontú oppose this pact and will fight to retain and regain sovereignty in Europe #aontú

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Hey everyone! I've never made a post on reddit before so bear with me friends. This is also gonna be long because I physically cannot restrain myself from overexplaining.
Ok, SO me (24F) and my guy best friend (25M) have known each other since about sophomore year of college. Let's call him Tony alright. I met him through my college roommate and best friend, we'll call her Tina (Tony is Tina's cousin's husband's best friend). He went to a different college in a city about 2 1/2 hours away, but he came and hung out with his friend a lot and he lived with them during COVID. I'm a pretty socially awkward and shy person so it takes me a while to get comfortable around someone and be myself so I didn't really engage with him at first. It should also be mentioned, I've never been in a relationship or in love befoe; I've been on dates and done a thing or two here and there with some people, but I've always been shy so I'm kind of a late bloomer in the relationship aspect. He is not and he's been in relationships before and has experience doing the horizontal tango; an activity I do not have experience in!
Fast forward, tail end of junior year or beginning of senior year of college we start actually interacting and I open up a bit more. I then develop a small "schoolgirl" kinda type crush because he was a new friend and funny and nice, and I never really had any guy friends growing up so it was new to me and you know the daddy issues of it all. Ok so BOOM spring break senior year right (March 2022), we go on a vacation to NOLA with our friend group. My crush is in full swing at this point and during said trip, my bff Tina and I share a hotel room with Tony and his best friend Ted (sharing bc we are poor). So we get a lot of quality time and get a lot closer as friends. Skip to May 2022, we graduate college and my BFF Tina moves to the bigger city in the state we live in (where he lives) in June (we went to college in a small town). So, naturally I go to the city a lot to visit her and so in turn we start hanging with him more frequently since he's closer now. At this point, I'm over my crush and he's just my really good friend (I promise). Fast forward to December 2022, I move to the city as well and my bff Tina and I move in together so we see him even more, and he's spending nights at our place (on the couch). We get a lot closer and the main thing we do in our friendship is talk. He's a level 100 yapper, and I didn't used to be at all until we became friends honestly, but he just brings out the yap in me. We talk about anything and everything; we even argue about a variety of topics, but it's not with malice or rudeness at all; we're just talking. He's just genuinely the easiest person to talk to I've ever met; strangers just talk to him all the time.
So now we're gonna jump to December of 2023 (sorry for the jumping around, I'm an ADHD warrior). I've had mental health issues off and on since high school, but they got worse around this time. Around this same time, he started getting depressed as well as a few months prior he had been fired from a job and his car got towed amongst other things. My BFF is also going through it.We are all just going through some trials and tribulations lemme tell ya. So, we've all been leaning on each other emotionally pretty heavily lately. Recently, he spends multiple days in a row at our house. So, I've been working through the prior mentioned mental health issues these past months and I'm think I'm finally coming out the other side. I've actually been the happiest I've been in a very long time, but I'm also still struggling a bit because I feel as though my personality has changed drastically since this ordeal or maybe I'm finally feeling secure enough in myself to show my true personality idk, but in a nutshell I'm feeling open and brave which are qualities I don't have experience in whatsoever. As I'm finding myself, I think I'm also becoming more in touch with my feelings which is how I realized I had feelings for him, but anyways back to the nitty gritty. So I'm feeling all these new feelings and all, and my crush on Tony comes back with a terrible new twist: 100% real uncut feelings 😔. But, I am terrible at reading social cues and understanding other people's feelings so I genuinely can't tell if he feels the same or not. But, ever since I've realized my feelings, I've been noticing things more. Me, Tina, and Tony have always been very open with each other in the sense that we talk about anything and everything. We talk about sex, relationships, our bodies, etc. But, lately, I feel like him and I talk even more about sex and relationships and he makes more jokes or funny remarks about sexual or romantic things between us. To be fair, I have too (😝), so it may just be in response, but come on, it's to the point like, we jokin anymore?? So, the other day, I was joking about how I was gonna be a virgin at 40, and he said, "Nah, we'll figure something out before then." like what you mean by that?? And another time, we were riding in the backseat together, and the whole car was talking about eating a girl's kitty cat and I had made a joke about not knowing the feeling and he said, "What?? That's so sad bro" and then under his breath said, "we'll have to do something about it" like huh???? And I also have this crop top with butterflies on it that may be a lil revealing (🙈) that he complimented when he first saw me wear it. And now, whenever I wear it, he'll say something about it like, "Ohhh, return of the shirt" or something along those lines. Also a while back, I had told him about how my late grandpa would always sneak me Ho-Hos as a kid and how I missed him a lot, and in the next few days, he brought some over when he came to hang out like brooo 😩. He didn't say that was the reason or anything, but that would be a crazy coincidence I feel. He's also always showing me something on his phone like a video he thought was funny, a movie he liked, pop culture we talk about, music he likes, etc. He'll just appear in front of me with his phone 2.3 cm from my face saying, "look 👁👄👁". Also, we've both been talking a lot lately about how lonely we are and how we miss sleeping and cuddling with another person in the bed. I feel like I've been dropping hints, but I'm also scared to tip him off so the hints I think I'm dropping could be more like office friendly chit-chat in reality!
It should also be noted that after I got over my initial crush, I didn't find him attractive. I really didn't find him attractive when I had a crush tbh. He's definitely not my usual type at all; I'm a fat bi girl who usually goes for masc women or feminine men and he's a short skinny lil fella with a permed mullet 😭. I'm definitely not his usual type either which is another reason I have doubts about his interest in me. He usually dates skinnier girls. I'm finally okay with my body, but if you're a fat person, you know how absolutely anxiety-inducing it is thinking about shooting your shot and someone rejecting you because of your body. I don't think he would do that, but there's still that fear there. He's also mentioned recently how he doesn't care about looks and body and I'm like 🤨 you hinting at something?? Cause I've talked to him before about struggling with loving my body so he knows im self-conscious about it at times. I'm also hesitant because besides Tina, he's my best friend in the world. I would never want to do anything to jeopardize that friendship. I've been trying to get over it and/or ignore it. But, God, idk what to do anymore. It's driving me insane, and I hate that I'm looking for things and reading into things. And I feel like I'm acting weird or changing my behavior which sucks cause it's hard to control cause I'm nervous. But, I really don't think it's all in my head. I don't even know if I want to pursue anything and change our relationship forever, but I feel like I'm going crazy. If anyone has any insight or advice, it would be much appreciated. Thanks a bunch!
TL;DR: I (24F) think I'm in love with my guy best friend (25). We met when I was 20, and I think he may be flirting and secretly feel the same, but I truly can't tell. We hang out almost everyday, but I don't want to be seeing things that aren't really happening. I also don't want to ruin our friendship. I would really just like some insight on the situation or advice on how to tell if he's also interested. TIA! 🫶

Apple TV+ is one of the strangest streamers out there, with almost no licensed TV or film content and a small number of originals. That makes the best movies on Apple TV+ easy to find. There simply aren’t that many! Apple is clearly taking a “quality over quantity” approach, with its money spread across genres and targeted at making its subscribers (many roped in with a deal that came with one of the company’s tech products) treat it like a real contender. It also helps that it’s only $4.99 a month, or free for a year if you’ve just purchased a new (and eligible) device.
With films from up-and-comers like Minhal Baig, arthouse favorites like Sofia Coppola and Werner Herzog, some A-list music docs, one of the best animated movies of the 2020s and Martin Scorsese’s latest, Apple TV+ is actually making the case that it belongs in the conversation alongside the more established services. As long as it keeps adding good movies to its roster, that is. It recently snagged a few critical darlings like Killers of the Flower Moon and Wolfwalkers.

10. The Pigeon Tunnel

For a documentary about one of the most celebrated writers of spy fiction, The Pigeon Tunnel can seem—at first glance—deceptively placid. Clocking in at just over 90 minutes, the film features an extended conversation between David Cornwell, AKA John le Carre, and Oscar-winning docmaker Errol Morris. It’s just that. Two people talking, with Morris off-screen, their parrying question-and-answers broken up with archival images and re-enactments of Cornwell’s past, as well as snippets from the classic movies or TV adaptations based on his spy universe: The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and A Perfect Spy.

9. Hala

Writedirector Minhal Baig’s Hala is an intimate coming-of-age drama held up by its personal writerly touches and a star-making turn from Geraldine Viswanathan as the title character. Hala’s struggling with the same kinds of things we normally see high school characters struggle with: What to do after graduation, how to manage a relationship with her parents that’s not quite adult and not quite childish, and (of course) boys. Viswanathan’s understated quiet and the warmth in which the situations are shot (almost always centered on her face)—be they at a family dinner or a walk in a Chicago park or a reading of a high school English assignment—make the dramatic ricochet of Hala’s minor rebellion rattle us all the harder.

8. Boys State

The tendency to read too much into Boys State as a representative of American politics—contemporary, functional, broken and otherwise—doesn’t quite line up with the event itself, in which every year the American Legion sponsors a sort of mock government sleepaway camp in Texas for high school boys (girls get a similar program of their own), where attendees join parties, run for office, craft platforms, run campaigns, hold debates, then ultimately exercise their right to vote.

7. On the Rocks

Sofia Coppola’s new movie On the Rocks starts out as a story of possessive fatherhood, with Felix (Bill Murray) narrating to his teenage daughter, Laura: “And remember, don’t give your heart to any boys. You are mine until you get married. Then you’re still mine.” The girl laughs off the declaration as a jape, which turns out to be a catastrophic tactical mistake. In her womanhood, Laura (Rashida Jones), does indeed get married to a man, Dean (Marlon Wayans), and they have two beautiful daughters of their own, eldest Maya (Liyanna Muscat) and youngest Theo (Alexandra Mary Reimer).

6. Bruce Springsteen’s Letter to You

The black-and-white behind-the-scenes documentary accompaniment to Bruce Springsteen’s album of the same name, Bruce Springsteen’s Letter to You is a beautiful and companionable tour through the music and its making from an American master. Director Thom Zimny buys into the album’s concept, which focuses on just how long Springsteen’s been at this thing. Poignant juxtaposition with archival footage and pictures emphasizes just how long the E Streeters have been at this—and reminds us of who and what was lost along the way.
Also Read: The Last Duel

5. Fireball: Visitors from Darker Worlds

Werner Herzog will show you multiple clips from Mimi Leader’s Deep Impact for no other reason than because he likes them, he finds them well-done and evocative—he says as much in that even-keeled, oddly accented voice over—then soon after chastise “film school doctrine” when complimenting a field video shot by a South Korean meteor specialist in Antarctica. Like Nomad: In the Footsteps of Bruce Chatwin, his documentary from earlier in the year, Fireball (co-directed with Clive Oppenheimer, with whom he made 2016’s Into the Inferno) is less about what it’s about (meteorites, shooting stars, cosmic debris—and the people who love them) than it is about Werner Herzog’s life, which is his filmography, which is a heavily manipulated search for ultimate truth.

4. CODA

Sometimes a movie so successfully plunges you into its world that it completely engulfs you in a lived-in experience. From the gorgeous, scenic opening moments of CODA, you can almost smell the Atlantic salt air and pungent scent of the daily catch. The movie transports you to Gloucester, Massachusetts and lovingly drops you into the life of one family. Seventeen-year-old Ruby Rossi (Emilia Jones) is what the title of the movie refers to—a child of deaf adults.

3. A Charlie Brown Christmas

We could get into plenty of arguments over which Charlie Brown animated special is best, but A Charlie Brown Christmas is my favorite pull of the bunch. Charlie Brown’s confrontation with the Christmas season’s commercialism (back in 1965 no less) and a sad little fir tree make this a cartoon classic, as the ultimate funny-pages shlimazel suffers endless social indignities (no Christmas cards) and the holiday blues.

2. Wolfwalkers

Wolfwalkers is filmmaker and animator Tomm Moore’s latest project out of Cartoon Saloon, the animation studio he co-founded in 1999 with Paul Young, and the capper to his loosely bound Irish folklore trilogy (begun with 2009’s The Secret of Kells and continued with 2014’s Song of the Sea). At first blush, the film appears burdened with too much in mind—chiefly thoughts on everything from English colonialism to earnest portraiture of Irish myths, the keystones of Moore’s storytelling for the last decade.

1. Killers of the Flower Moon

Martin Scorsese has made a career telling stories that tackle issues of justice, retribution and betrayal. From his overt and poetic crime films, through to his dark comedies, religious parables and character pieces, he has long been drawn to stories where the ambiguities of life collide with the complexities of survival, and where day-to-day choices result in consequences sometimes obvious, and sometimes far more subtle and insidious.