(Vent) We’re just having bad customer service.
For what it’s worth, SO many people have said we’re very laid back as a couple planning a wedding. I mean both sets of parents, our bridal party, coordinator, venue, photog, florist, attendees at my shower, etc. We don’t get upset and aren’t super picky. We expect things to go wrong and just shrug because it’s not that important.
But Jeeze. All but our florist are making me lose it (quietly to my fiancé) lol.
For example:

• contract with coordinator said 3 month meeting, 1 month, 2 week, rehearsal and wedding day. The day after the 3 month mark, I reached out to see if we can schedule. Didn’t hear back for 11 days. We scheduled it closer to 2 months. Fine but then other things were rushed. I didn’t say anything. Same happened for one month.
  
• venue had 100% turnover of our contacts in the last 3 months which sucks for them. I have empathy. But the same thing happened that happened with the coordinator - I reached out when it was late, had to wait over a week for a reply, and then had the meeting late
  
• photographer did the same for our 1 month timeline meeting. Then she canceled our timeline meeting and hour before for a family issue (fine - nbd it happens) but then last night she no showed for the reschedule. I emailed her and got a “whoops I’m sorry I forgot”
  
• finally got the timeline and she said our only option was to pay for 2 extra hours. She gave us an 8 hour timeline that had like nothing and then a 10 hour option. The extra time would be 20% more than our original contract. We didn’t change anything from the original meeting and were staying at the same site all day. She added all these extra things like taking pictures in multiple places around the city, “chill time” that wasn’t in the 8 hour, added an extra hour to first look photos (making it 1h 45m). When I said we actually want to stay on site and asked why we added first look time and chill time, she changed it and then just added the time she took off to the end of the night for more dancefloor photos and added a second location for family photos?
  

I get time is needed but if we needed the extra time for family for dancefloor, why wait to add it later. It just feels like she wants the upcharge.

• venue scheduled our “final walkthrough” last week, which was actually 2 1/2 weeks after what was in our contract. Fine but we showed up to the venue and it was locked and then we couldn’t get a hold of anyone for 20 minutes and then when they called us back, they told us “oops we forgot to put in your email but it’s a virtual walk-through and we’re meeting you at our business office 20 minutes away”. Like?

There’s so much more.
Again, I don’t want to be a bridezilla. I know these vendors likely have two weddings each week and I am not even close to their top priority. I’m cool with emails taking a while to be answered and even meetings needing to be rescheduled. But dates in the contract are missed and then I can’t get a hold of someone for over a week.
Everyone wants to up charge. I know they have to run a business and make money, but my wedding is two weeks away.
Again, I’m just venting because I’m frustrated and stressed bride who is also a people pleaser.
But wait, there’s more. It feels like this week, Everyone is letting us know about when we can tip them. Most are letting us add it on to final payments in our portal due two weeks before our wedding. Like you haven’t even done the service yet.
Also, all but our venue and catering people own their own business and don’t have any staff. Am I being cheap if I can’t believe they’re referencing a tip when they set their own prices?
/rant

Hello everyone! I’ve never done this before but I’m posting this hoping for some objective feedback and perspective. Because of my upbringing I really struggle with knowing if my perception is accurate or not, so I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter.
I am a 25 y/o female named Jordan. My best friend is of 4 years, Julie, also 25 y/o, is getting married soon and originally chose me as her maid of honor. Now for context Julie is easily one of the best people I know and has helped and been there for me through ALOT. From surviving a cultish college ministry to helping me to move away from my family (with whom I have a complicated relationship). She has been my best friend after Jesus.
After finding out she got engaged in October I was so excited for her and really wanted to be a good maid-of-honor, but 1) I didn’t know what a maid-of-honor does (and neither did she), and 2) I have been going through ALOT. From losing my job, to being virtually held hostage in a group chat for 2.5-months, to studying for my exams (I would also like to mention I am full time student completing my second masters degree in Biomedical Science), to finding a new job and struggling with anxiety and depression, I became burnt out and wasn’t able to give Julie’s wedding a lot of attention. Even so I tried to help wherever I could, I attended every dress fitting (though I admit I was dirt tried and almost fell asleep at 1), I went to both her bridal showers, and I helped as much as I could with planning her bachelorette trip with her other friend June.
Now here’s where the story really starts. June is also one of Julie really close friends. They met on a trip overseas 2 years ago and became good friends. Although they met on a trip, June of from and lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Because Julie wanted to visit Pittsburgh for her bachelorette trip, and because June is a wedding planner on the side, she took the lead in planning and preparing. Because I have never been to Pittsburgh before and didn’t have a lot of time to research the area, I helped where I could but, for the most part wasn’t very helpful. I apologized to June several times and she assured me that because she was from the area it made the most since for her to take lead because she knew the best spots. I should mention that I had never met June in person and did all of this over the phone.
Fast forward to mid-April I go on the bachelorette trip with her and four other bridesmaids and bridesman (she has another male best friend named Allen [23 y/o]). Julie, Allen, and I fly in from Georgia and meet June a few minutes away from her job to have lunch together. From the moment she met me in person she was dismissive toward me.
At first I thought I was overthinking things, and made several more attempts to talk with and get to know her, but as time went on it got worse. Whenever I tried to talk with her and bring up new topics to discuss, she would position her face and body away from me and only talk towards Julie. Whenever I would speak she would cut me off. When I tried to tell some really funny stories (particularly the one where I got held hostage in group chat for 2.5 months, which sounds bad but in hindsight is hilarious), she would interject and put me down, saying “why didn’t I file a police report” and that I was “getting scammed.” She did this on several occasions in front of the entire group, including Julie, almost to make me seem stupid. Add this with the fact I was the only black person in the group, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed and isolated. She even made a point of interrupting me whenever I tried to talk/bond with Julie other two friends, Mia and Kya (23 and 24 y/o females, respectively). Not only that but she had made several, what I consider rude remarks behind Allen and Julies backs.
Complaining with how Allen’s slow walking, due an unknown and untreated leg injury, would prevent us from getting to our restaurant destination on time. The following day she then complained to Mia and Kya about how she didn’t really want to go bar hopping or stay out at night (despite it being her plan that she introduced), but that she would do it because she loved Julie. Keep in mind Julie wasn’t really interested in bar hopping either, but was mostly doing it because it was recommended to her.
Additionally, because it turned out there was one less bed in the Airbnb we were all sharing, being maid-of-honor, I volunteered to sleep on the couch the entire trip, so no one else had to be uncomfortable. As such I wouldn’t be able to sleep or go anywhere to relax when I was tired and had to put up with everyone else staying up late to 1-2 in the morning. I should also mention that I had a midterm exam I needed to study foretake, which I wasn’t able to. Between this and everything else I was even more burnt out and aggravated, but I didn’t say anything and put up with all of this because I didn’t want to ruin Julie’s trip. Even so I was counting the days until I came back home.
After getting back nothing initially happened, but I was angry. I didn’t want to say anything to Julie about until after her wedding in June. I was so hurt and upset about the experience I actually chose to visit my immediate family to to get some laundry done. When I texted Julie about visiting them for weekend to do laundry and get groceries (which they paid for), she initially said okay. However about an hour or two later she texted me and reminded me that we’re both suppose to go to a tea party hosted by her future mother-in-laws church. Since I had completely forgotten and admittedly didn’t want see her, I told her I wouldn’t be able to make it.
Now no matter what anyone has to I don’t regret that decision, even now. I actually enjoyed my time visiting my family and felt a lot better because of it. I got see my cousins, swim in my aunts pool, and went to the movies, and spend some time with my grandmother. By the time I went back home I felt a lot better.
Fast forward to yesterday, Julie comes over to speak with me and give me some stuff. First we she gives me a few gifts from the tea party (which includes a bracelet) and also drops off 3 bottles of syrup and 3 bottles of sweet baby rays bbq sauce. We talk about how we both are doing and then we get to down to business.
She asks if I knew what it was about, and I accurately tell her it’s because she no longer wants me to be maid-of-honor and is giving the position to June. She then says she thinks she “overburdened me,” and that she needs someone who will be able to make her wedding a priority. Which I completely agree with.
Honestly, I wasn’t really sad about this and felt relief more than anything. I knew I wasn’t able to be the best maid-of-honor and, despite how cruel she was to me, I genuinely believe June will make a great maid-of -honor. She’s very intentional with her planning and I noticed how excited she and Julie were when talking about the wedding during the trip. I think that is the right decision.
However, here is when things get complicated. We start to talk about the trip and I mention how me and June do not really like each other. She admits she knows this. She states it’s because she was furious with me during the trip because I wasn’t taking initiative and “acting like a maid of honor” which apparently also frustrated June who felt she did all the work. She then admits that she had been telling June about all her frustrations with me throughout the trip, as they stayed in the same room together, and even admitted to breaking down because of me, which apparently worsened Junes already growing disdain for me. I should mention she has admitted to this before, where she would complain about me to June behind my back and even apologized to me for it.
Although I didn’t say anything to this, and apologized to her about my lack of initiative and inability to properly socialize, I can’t help but feel hurt and put down, because it feels like she essentially validated Junes actions towards me. Though she claims she didn’t notice any of June’s slights, and even offered talk about it with her, I still feel invalidated.
When I brought up that because of the situation, I didn’t feel comfortable staying at her grandfathers house with everyone, including June, before the wedding as initially planned, she expressed he Irritation toward me for not being there for her. She then said this all feels very high school (which I agree) and that she wants both June and I to be cordial to each other. When I told her that June hadn’t even apologized for what she did, she countered and asked me if I had ever apologized to June? When I asked her for what, she stated for planning/leading the entire trip and for doing most of the socializing. Though we ended the conversation there, because she had to go back home, I couldn’t help but still feel irritated about something.
This brings me to today. After waking up and still being angry about the situation I decided to reach out get some non-bias opinions on the issue. AITAH for not wanting/feeling I need to apologize to June? In all honesty I’m fine if neither of us apologize and just remain respectful for the wedding and Julie’s sake. If so, am wrong for not wanting to stay over at her grandfathers place, and risk a similar situation?

Advice Wanted #AITAH

FIRST OF ALL THE TITLE IS SUPPOSED TO SAY YOUR NOT "YOU'RE" and is a very RARE time that you will see me submit any typos, grammatical errors, or make any mistakes. This is unlike me lol.

Please scroll down past wedding information for Virtual Assistant information.

I am a wedding planner and event coordinator based in Texas with over 8 years of experience, having successfully managed 100+ weddings and events.
Below are my services and pricing details. As a business owner, I bring expertise, dedication, and a range of skills to ensure your event's success. Additionally, I offer Virtual Assistant services to elevateyour business and optimizecompany success
Full Package Offer or Individual projects and Tasks available Comprehensive Wedding Planning and Event Coordination Package: $500 Includes all tasks listed and task completion necessary for a successful wedding/event and more!

1. Timeline Creation:
2. Customized timeline creation for smooth event flow, including vendor and bridal party schedules and contact sheet creation. Weddings and 8+ Hour Long Events: $75 1-8 Hours Long event: $50
   
3. Vendor Acquisition and Management:
   
4. Source, vet, and manage vendors within your budget, including scheduling meetings and reviewing contracts: $200
   
5. Event Budgeting and Payments:
   
6. Create and manage event budgets, ensuring timely payments to vendors: $75
   
7. Venue Selection Assistance:
   
8. Research and recommend venues based on your event's needs and budget: 3-7 Locations: $50 or 10 Locations: $75
   
9. Theme and Decor Planning:
   
10. Collaborative creation of event aesthetics, including decor and theme planning: $200
    
11. Guest Management:
    
12. RSVP tracking, guest list management, and creation of a Wedding Website for sharing event details: $100
    
13. Virtual Consultations:
    
14. Hourly consultations to align services with your event needs: $50/hr
    

Virtual Wedding Planning Package: $500 Essential services for event success, available individually or as a package.
Additional Services: Tailored services based on your specific needs are available upon request.
We prioritize offering high-quality services at affordable prices to ensure your event is memorable and stress-free. For inquiries and bookings, please contact me for a free initial consultation to understand your vision and preferences.
《---------------------------------------------------------------------------》 I am an experienced working professional, and I'd like to utilize my skillset for your next project or to assist with company growth. I have 5+ years of experience in running a wedding planning business and was able to learn and gain some very valuable experience in the Virtual Assistant role.
I know I'm asking more than other Virtual Assistants. But did you know, on average, the rate for this position and quality professional work is often $25 per hour?However, the quality and success will always be delivered to any position, project, or task requested. I am asking for $15 hourly, but I'm willing to be reasonable per new opportunities
Below is what I currently offer for the Virtual Assistant position. However, I can be hired on for individual tasks or projects. I am willing to perform all these tasks at *$15/hr** or each individual task as a project and have listed the pricing per individual job duty/project these prices are not set in stone and can be adapted to your reasonable budget needs*

What I can deliver:

Email Correspondence & Organization - I professionally write and respond to your clientle, especially for payments or upcoming deadlines, as well as ensuring to elevate your company’s email correspondence. I also have the skills to keep your email organized. I can keep your inbox tidy by ensuring that I remove, unsubscribe, unsolicit to spam, or any unwanted emails.$25 per email or for set amount of time, $150
Meeting Flow & Management - I can create a customized timeline in order for your meeting to go as planned. Sometimes, we run out of time or forget topics that need to be brought to attention in meetings. By having a timeline created and having your meeting materials organized or set up prior to the meeting you can rest easy knowing that you have a second set of eyes and a second set of hands viewing your meeting's subject material and closing any unnecessary gaps. $75 per meeting
Recruitment. Onboarding & Training - If you need bright and skilled individuals to join your team, you can be assured that your potential candidates have all your needed qualifications and more. I recruit potential candidates by creating a detailed and open job listing or contacting the right people that allow in person open recruitment and find these facilities like job fairs. I have vast knowledge and experience in hiring paperwork, leading an interview, vetting quality candidates, training if applicable with my knowledge, as well as requesting and performing background checks locally and federally or setting up timeframes for drug screenings. From the job listing to hiring future employees/team members this is recruiting's one stop shop. I keep candidates interested by highlighting the company's culture and values. $50 per candidate or $200 for multiple candidate and available positions
Document or Excel Creation - I have expertise in creating documentation that contains all of your details and emphasizing your requests, deadlines, or needs. My documents are high quality and can usually be kept for notes, reference points, examples, and more. I can create a wide variety of documentation on most subject or topic matter. I also have experience in Excel and understand how to create basic formulas and viewing structures. $75 for 1-3 pages or $200 if up to ten pages
Social Media Management - Keeping your targeted audience engaged is a number one priority. I keep your social media accounts under control and boost the foot traffic by entering your page. Whether it's Facebook Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest, I always create memorable and engaging social media content. Posts, advertising, and analytics are my strong suit. I go far and beyond to post content for your followers, members, or even for people inquiring more about your business. I ensure that your business's customer service is at the forefront by communicating/responding to any social media. To make sure this standard of work is upheld, I respond to any messages or comments that have questions immediately. You will always have a quick response time for your social media accounts. Advertising creation and upkeep will also be reflected as well as campaigned on any appropriate and applicable source. Analytics are important for successful engagement and marketing and will be directly sent to you at your request or as a weekly recap. $50 per post/ad or $150 a week for 4 posts and entire social media management
Inbound and Outbound Calls - Professional experience is used for phone calls of any sort. I collect the correct information needed from each call as well as informing or teaching the call recipient of the important subject matter of the call. All information is transcribed correctly, and to make certain, I phonetically repeat back important information and use discretion when needed. The data collected is then input into the system correctly, and you are updated with the completion and success of the day or per call if requested. $15 per hour
Presentation Creation - Are you creating a presentation for a company meeting? Maybe you need a great presentation created that will leave your clients informed and wanting more. Whatever your needs are, I can create and deliver you well detailed presentation appropriate to any meeting. I make sure each presentation leads with facts, and I go the extra mile to include any other important details like graphs or statistics as just some examples. *$75-$150 depending on length or presentation time
Data Entry - Being a detail oriented person and having that person as your assistant is a breath of fresh air! You can stress less on small or big details and focus on other important job details confidentially knowing that your company's information is being inputted correctly. Charcter by character and line by line.* $75-$200 depending on length of project
Bookkeeping - By properly documenting and filing your financial aspects, you have more time for business. I can file and organize all of your reports, receipts, and other financial data into a comprehensive location for you and other team members to access. This is set up for future success and can be done time and time again effectively and correctly so you don't have any extra piles of financial reports or data sitting around or worse, in multiple unorganized locations.$100
Schedule or Time Management - If you have busy work days that are filled with what can seem like endless tasks, then I can fix your out of breath schedule. I can create your daily, weekly, or monthly work forecast with a simple schedule of your upcoming meetings, training, and break times. I go the extra mile and communicate verbally or create and send written reminders throughout the day for your important meetings. Never miss another meeting and always be prepared to step into your next work setting. I find alloted time during or day for a moment so you can mentally recap and decompress. Traveling and time needs to be reflected upon so you don't feel like you're rushing to your next job venture. Additionally, I can create staff schedules and include approved time off and applicable information. This way, we can ensure together that your team is ready for their shift.$75
These are just basic skills that I have presented to you at this time. I have many more skillsets, and I would love the opportunity to use them to set up your company’s success. If you're interested in my background further, I can present my resume at your request. A few other things that I have experience in are dispatching calls for emergency situations, leadership and team building, training and updating on company duties and policy, and so much more.
I look forward to assisting you in the future! Please feel free to send me a message with any questions you may have.

Virtual Wedding Planner & Event Coordination Services
I am a Wedding Planner and Event Coordinator based in Texas. My business has been open for 8 years now and I have done over 100+ weddings and events. I have listed my services and pricing below. Since I own my business I have experience and expertise in my work. I am additionally a Virtual Adsistant and provide services like data entry, bookkeeping, and social media creation and management. My skills have been obtained by my ambition to work ethic and employer needs.
Full Package Offer: - Comprehensive Wedding Planning and Event Coordination: $500 - Includes all tasks listed below for a successful wedding/event and more!
Individual Tasks/Projects: If you just need any of these services created than the price is listed below for each project or service needed

1. Timeline Creation:
   
   • Customized timeline for your event this is essiential for events to run smoothly like weddings and can be provided by email to you, your bridal parties, and your vendors. Each timeline will include information like arrival and end time of bridal party and vendors. Basic set up examples. I will include a Contact Sheet that will include the vendor's contact informationincluding their Social Media Information so you and your Event personnel will have opportunities to review and refer your vendor, your Event Personnel or Contact information like a bridal party, parents, event organizers ect: $75 for Weddings and $50 for shorter Events
2. Vendor Acquisition and Management:
   
   • Source and manage vendors. I will ensure that I find the perfect vendor for your event and within your budget. My vendor referrals will include vendors in your event's location or area and they will have experience and are guaranteed success for their area of expertise, I do this by contacting your vendors and understanding how they perform their services or creation of how their products are made with the upmost quality work. These event professionals will have reviews and work listed. I will schedule meetings and make payments to your appropriate vendor and view ALL CONTRACTS and email you important details needed between you and the vendor: $200
3. Event Budgeting and Payments:
   
   • Budget creation and management. I will ensure that we stick to all budgets that you may have set for the event and keep you up to date with any payments that need to be made to book your desired event vendor : $75
4. Venue Selection Assistance:
   
   • Research and recommendations. I will provide you a list of 3-7 venues or event hosting locations to fit your event aesthetic, your budget and detailed event accomdations needed like event attendance approved spaces: $50 for 3-7 Venue locations and event spaces or $75 for 10 locations and event spaces
5. Theme and Decor Planning:
   
   • Theme creation and decor planning. We will ensure you have your special wedding or event aethetic by working closley with you and learning what you imagine your event to look like. We think of all details down to how many batteries you may need, things like centerpieces and many more,and event decoration ideas : $200
6. Guest Management:
   
   • RSVP tracking and guest list management. I will create and update a Wedding Website for you and that will include important event details like location of event, special event announcements, gift registries, head count or attendanceof guests. The wedding website are shared with friends and loved ones so they know important information for your big day: $100
7. Virtual Consultations:
   
   • Hourly virtual consultations. To make sure you have a memorable and seamless event I schedule consultations and use my expertise to ensure that they will be a good fit for your special event. We ask questions and make sure that all your expectations for their services will happen: $50/hr

Virtual Wedding Planning Package: $500 This package is offered to anyone who needs basic wedding planning or events. What we offer in this package is services that are essiential for the event's success. Details of what will be performed are below AND the services can be purchased individually.
And so much more... - Free Initial consultation to understand your vision and preferences - Customized wedding/event planning timeline. - Vendor sourcing, negotiations, and management. - Timeline creation - Budget creation and tracking. - Venue selection assistance based on your preferences. - Theme and decor planning to align with your vision. - Guest list management and RSVP tracking. - Day-of coordination for a seamless event execution. - Unlimited virtual consultations throughout the planning process. - Floor plan creation
Additional Services: - Customized services tailored to your specific needs are available upon request.
Our goal is to make your dream event a reality without breaking the bank. We believe in offering high-quality services at affordable prices to ensure your special day is memorable and stress-free.
For inquiries and bookings, please contact me.

When one thinks of Manhattan, images of towering skyscrapers and bustling sidewalks might come to mind, but there’s an undercurrent of natural beauty that weaves through the urban fabric of New York City. This guide seeks to shed light on the blooming industry of Manhattan florists Manhattan, with a special focus on a local favorite, Lenox Hill Florist. For Manhattan residents, discerning event planners, or simply any flower lover, understanding the floral landscape is not just a matter of beauty; it’s something deeply cultural, personal, and a testament to the city's vibrant diversity.
Understanding the Manhattan Floristry Scene
Florists in Manhattan are not just vendors; they are artists and storytellers. Each bouquet, centerpiece, and arrangement that graces the streets of this iconic borough carries with it a tale of the city's dynamic tastes and trends. Manhattan's floristry scene is a kaleidoscope of creativity, with florists ranging from classic to avant-garde and everything in between. They deftly cater to the myriad of life's occasions — from the grandeur of a New York wedding to the intimate gestures of daily life.
In a city where first impressions are everything, Manhattan florists play a crucial role. They adorn high-profile galas, corporate events, and theatrical productions with aplomb, etching moments into memory with the stroke of a petal. Diverse customer bases ensure florists must be chameleons, blending tradition with innovation, and local style with international flair.
What Sets Lenox Hill Florist Apart
Among the diverse range of Manhattan florists, there's one that stands out not just for its floral finesse, but for its deep roots in the community and client-centric approach. Lenox Hill Florist, a storied gem nestled in the Upper East Side, boasts a history as colorful as the blooms it sells. Its commitment to quality, personalized service, and the environment sets it apart in an industry often crowded with anonymity. The florist takes a bespoke approach to every engagement, understanding that each floral arrangement is tied to a unique sentiment or event.
Lenox Hill Florist is not just a vendor; it's a curator of experiences. Their attention to detail, from the perfect balance of blossoms in a bridal bouquet to the right accents for a solemn occasion, underscores the bespoke service they provide.
Tips for Choosing the Right Florist in Manhattan
Selecting a florist in Manhattan can be as daunting as it is delightful. With an overwhelming number of options, it's critical to assess your needs and expectations before flowering a relationship.
For personal arrangements, visiting the florist’s shop in person can reveal volumes about their aesthetic and professionalism. Inquiring about sustainability practices and sourcing of flowers can also elevate your experience to one that is not only beautiful but ethical and environmentally conscious.
For event planning, a florist's portfolio should be your compass. Pay attention to a range of events they've serviced and look for testimonials that speak to their reliability under the pressures of Manhattan’s pace.
The Future of Floristry in Manhattan
The floral industry, like Manhattan, is an evolving ecosystem. Sustainability, personalization, and the integration of technology are reshaping the future. Lenox Hill Florist's forward-thinking approach to these shifts positions them at the crest of the floral wave, ready to not just meet but exceed the expectations of tomorrow's customers.
Adapting to a world where convenience and conservation are key, the florist is exploring eco-friendly packaging, delivery methods, and even virtual consultations for those who seek beauty from the comfort of their own space.
Florists are more than the arrangements they create; they are the threads of tradition and innovation woven into the fabric of Manhattan. They bring beauty to the concrete jungle, one bouquet at a time, and serve as cornerstones of the local economy and culture. For those seeking floral harmony in the heart of New York City, exploring the world of Manhattan florists is not just a discovery, it's an experience.
Lenox Hill Florist is a testament to the enduring power and relevance of local businesses. They embody the old-world charm of New York's Upper East Side while staying agile in a market that demands freshness in both product and approach.
In this ultimate guide to Manhattan florists, we have seen how these purveyors of petals are not just service providers but custodians of culture, creativity, and community. For Manhattan, a borough that pulsates with life at every turn, the florists are the quintessential mirage — a brief, yet beautiful respite that reminds us of the natural wonders within and the blooming opportunities without.

Best Gacha Waifu Games
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If you’re a fan of gacha games and love collecting waifus, then you’re in for a treat. In this article, I will be diving into the world of waifu gacha games and exploring some of the best titles out there. From Illusion Connect to Fate/EXTELLA LINK, we’ll cover a range of games that cater to different tastes and preferences. So buckle up and get ready to embark on an exciting journey through the world of waifu gacha games.
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What are Gacha Waifu Games?
Waifu Games definition
Before we dive into the games themselves, let’s first define what a waifu gacha game is. Simply put, these are games where the primary focus is on collecting and building relationships with female characters, known as “waifus.” These characters are often designed to be cute, attractive, and have distinct personalities that players can get to know over time. Players can typically obtain waifus through gacha mechanics, which involve spending in-game currency or real money to unlock randomized character draws.
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Read also : Best Nude Gacha Games of 2024
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Illusion Connect
Waifu Games illusion connect
Illusion Connect is a popular waifu gacha game that features a diverse cast of female characters. The game’s story takes place in a world where humans are under threat from mysterious creatures known as “Nightmares.” Players take on the role of a commander who must recruit and train waifus to fight against these Nightmares. The game offers a unique combat system that involves positioning your waifus on a grid and using their skills to defeat enemies. With stunning graphics and engaging gameplay, Illusion Connect is a must-play for any waifu gacha game fan.
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Illusion Connect Oficial website
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Destiny Child
Waifu Games destiny child
Destiny Child is another popular waifu gacha game that has been around for a few years. The game features over 300 waifus to collect, each with their own unique design and personality. Players take on the role of a demon contractor who must collect and train waifus to fight in battles against other players. The game’s combat system is turn-based and features impressive animations and special effects. With a focus on building relationships with your waifus and a thriving community, Destiny Child is a great choice for fans of waifu gacha games.
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Destiny Child Oficial website
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Related to Destiny Child: Is Destiny Child F2P friendly?
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Bridal Hildr
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Bridal Hildr is a relatively new waifu gacha game that is actually part of Destiny Child, the ,main difference is that it has lots of new Waifus to choose from. The game features a unique art style and a cast of female characters inspired by Norse mythology. Players take on the role of a bridegroom who must collect and train brides to fight against evil forces. The game’s combat system is turn-based and features impressive animations and special effects. With a focus on building relationships with your brides and a charming story, Bridal Hildr is a great choice for those that love Destiny Child and want additional waifus to play with.
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Bridal Hildr normal version
Bridal Hildr NSFW version
Azur Lane
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Azur Lane is a popular waifu gacha game that features a unique blend of naval warfare and anime-style waifus. Players take on the role of a commander who must collect and train ship girls to fight against enemy fleets. The game’s combat system is side-scrolling and features impressive animations and special effects. With a vast array of ship girls to collect and a compelling storyline, Azur Lane is a must-play for fans of waifu gacha games.
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Azur Lane Oficial website
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Also check out: Is Azur Lane F2P Friendly?
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Arknights
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Arknights is a waifu gacha game that features a mix of tower defense and RPG gameplay. Players take on the role of a doctor who must recruit and train operators to defend against a mysterious infection known as “Oripathy.” The game features a diverse cast of female characters, each with their own unique design and personality. With challenging gameplay and a deep story, Arknights is a great choice for fans of waifu gacha games.
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Arknights APP Store
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Epic 7
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Epic 7 is an anime-inspired gacha game that offers players a thrilling story-driven adventure. From the captivating storyline, stunning graphics, to the turn-based combat system, Epic 7 has everything to offer for both casual and hardcore gamers. The game features over 100 unique characters, each with their own backstory and personality. Players can collect these characters through the game’s gacha system or through in-game events. The game’s PVP mode allows players to test their skills against other players worldwide. Epic 7’s community-driven approach and constant updates keep players engaged and invested in the game.
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Epic 7 Oficial website
Epic 7 NSFW MOD (Download)
Epic 7 NSFW (Reddit)
Honkai Impact 3rd
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Honkai Impact 3rd is a visually stunning action-packed gacha game that offers players an immersive experience. The game’s combat system is fast-paced and requires players to think on their feet, making it perfect for players who enjoy challenging gameplay. The game’s storyline is engaging, taking players on an epic journey across multiple dimensions. Honkai Impact 3rd’s character designs are unique and appealing, and the game offers plenty of customization options. The game’s regular updates and events keep the player base active and engaged.
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Honkai Impact 3rd Oficial website
Girl Cafe Gun
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Girl Cafe Gun is a unique gacha game that combines traditional RPG elements with a cafe simulation game. Players are tasked with managing their cafe while also leading a team of female warriors on various missions. The game’s combat system is turn-based and requires players to strategize to overcome tough enemies. The game’s unique approach to gameplay and charming character designs make it a fun and enjoyable experience.
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Girl Cafe Gun Oficial website
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Granblue Fantasy
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Granblue Fantasy is a classic gacha game that has been around for several years. The game offers a rich and immersive world filled with characters inspired by traditional RPGs. The game’s combat system is turn-based, requiring players to think strategically to succeed. The game’s constant updates and events keep the player base active and engaged. Granblue Fantasy’s unique approach to storytelling and world-building make it a must-play for fans of traditional RPGs.
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Granblue Fantasy Oficial website
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Alchemy Stars
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Alchemy Stars is a brand new gacha game that offers players a unique take on the genre. The game features an immersive storyline and stunning visuals that are sure to impress. The game’s combat system is turn-based and requires players to think strategically to overcome their enemies. Alchemy Stars also features a unique grid-based gameplay system that adds another layer of strategy to the game. The game’s constant updates and events keep the player base engaged and invested in the game.
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Alchemy Starts Oficial website
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Exos Heroes
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Exos Heroes is a visually stunning gacha game that offers players an immersive experience. The game’s combat system is turn-based and requires players to strategize to overcome their enemies. The game’s unique approach to character design and customization make it stand out from other gacha games. The game’s regular updates and events keep the player base active and engaged.
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Exos Heroes App Store
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Langrisser
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Langrisser is a classic gacha game that has been around for several years. The game’s unique approach to storytelling and world-building make it stand out from other gacha games. The game’s combat system is turn-based, requiring players to strategize to overcome their enemies. Langrisser’s regular updates and events keep the player base active and engaged.
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Langrisser Oficial website
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Genshin Impact
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Genshin Impact is a visually stunning open-world gacha game that offers players an immersive experience. The game’s combat system is action-based, requiring players to think on their feet to overcome their enemies. The game’s storyline and world-building are top-notch, making it a must-play for fans of open-world games. Genshin Impact’s constant updates and events keep the player base engaged and invested in the game.
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Gensing Impact Oficial website
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Related articles about Genshin Impact:
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Is Genshin Impact on Xbox?
Genshin Impact Controller Support
Is Genshin Impact F2P Friendly?
is Genshin Impact a Gacha Game?
Is Genshin Impact Pay-to-Win?
Fate/EXTELLA LINK
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Fate/EXTELLA LINK is an action-packed gacha game that takes you through a journey of strategic combat and epic battles. The game’s premise revolves around the Holy Grail War, where you must gather an army of servants and command them to fight for your cause. With its unique storyline and impressive graphics, Fate/EXTELLA LINK is a must-play for any gacha game enthusiast. The game has received widespread acclaim for its engaging gameplay and its ability to keep players hooked for hours on end. As you progress through the game, you can unlock new characters and upgrade their skills, making them more powerful and effective in battle.
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Fate/EXTELLA LINK App Store
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Catherine: Full Body
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Catherine: Full Body is a thrilling gacha game that combines elements of puzzle and horror games. The game’s premise revolves around Vincent, a man who finds himself caught between two women, Catherine and Katherine. As you navigate through the game’s challenging puzzles, you must also make choices that will affect the game’s outcome. The game’s graphics and sound design create a captivating atmosphere that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Catherine: Full Body is a unique gacha game that is sure to appeal to those who enjoy games with a strong narrative and engaging gameplay.
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Catherine Full Body Oficial website
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Majikoi! Love Me Seriously!
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Majikoi! Love Me Seriously! is a romantic comedy gacha game that takes place in a high school setting. The game’s premise revolves around a group of students who form a club to help each other with their romantic pursuits. The game’s charming characters and lighthearted tone make it a fun and engaging experience. The game’s gacha system allows you to collect and upgrade various characters, each with their own unique abilities and personalities. Majikoi! Love Me Seriously! is a great choice for anyone who enjoys gacha games with a focus on character development and interpersonal relationships.
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Get Majikoi! Love Me Seriously! on STEEM
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Iron Saga
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Iron Saga is a mecha-themed gacha game that combines strategy and action elements. The game’s premise revolves around the players controlling giant robots called mechas in battles against enemies. The game features a wide variety of mechas to choose from, each with its own unique abilities and strengths. The game’s graphics and sound design create an immersive experience that will keep you hooked for hours. With its deep gameplay mechanics and engaging storyline, Iron Saga is a must-play for any gacha game enthusiast.
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Iron Saga Oficial website
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Galaxy Gals
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Galaxy Gals is a sci-fi themed gacha game that takes place in a distant future. The game’s premise revolves around a group of female characters who travel through space, battling enemies and exploring new worlds. The game features a wide variety of characters to collect and upgrade, each with their own unique abilities and personalities. With its stunning graphics and engaging gameplay, Galaxy Gals is a great choice for anyone who enjoys gacha games with a sci-fi twist.
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Get Galaxy Gals on STEEM
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Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel
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Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel is a gacha game based on the popular Fate/Stay Night anime and manga series. The game’s premise revolves around a group of characters who participate in a Holy Grail War, a battle for the ultimate prize. The game features a wide variety of characters to collect and upgrade, each with their own unique abilities and personalities. With its engaging storyline and impressive graphics, Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel is a must-play for any gacha game enthusiast and fans of the series.
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Fate/Stay Night Heaven´s Feel APP Store
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Girls And Monsters: Angels Of Terror
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Girls And Monsters: Angels Of Terror is a horror-themed gacha game that combines elements of RPG and strategy games. The game’s premise revolves around a group of girls who must fight against terrifying monsters to save the world. The game features a wide
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variety of characters to collect and upgrade, each with their own unique abilities and strengths. As you progress through the game’s challenging levels, you must make strategic decisions to overcome the monsters and save the world. The game’s graphics and sound design create a hauntingly beautiful atmosphere that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Girls And Monsters: Angels Of Terror is a must-play for anyone who enjoys gacha games with a horror twist and a strong narrative.
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Get the game here: Girls And Monsters: Angels Of Terror (Wiki oficial website is in Japanese)
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FAQs
What game has the best Waifu?
Gacha games are popular among gamers, and one of the main reasons is the possibility of getting your waifu. But, what game has the best waifu? Well, this is a tough question to answer because it depends on what you consider the “best” waifu. Some players prefer waifus with a strong personality, while others prefer cute and innocent ones. However, some of the most popular gacha games for waifu lovers are Fate/Grand Order, Azur Lane, and Genshin Impact. Each game offers a vast variety of waifus with unique designs, skills, and personalities. Therefore, the best waifu game depends on your personal preference.
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Also related: Best nude Gacha Games
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What is number 1 waifu?
The question of the number 1 waifu is subjective and varies from person to person. Each gamer has their own favorite waifu, and it is impossible to choose a single one that everyone will agree with. However, some waifus are popular and beloved by many gamers worldwide. For instance, Rem from Re:Zero, Zero Two from Darling in the FranXX, and Saber from Fate/Stay Night are among the most popular waifus. Nevertheless, what makes a waifu number 1 is a combination of various factors, such as personality, appearance, story, and popularity.
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Need more related games? check out the best NSFW Gacha Games!
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Is waifu a girl?
Yes, waifu is a term used to refer to a female character that a person has a strong affection for. It originated in Japan and has become popular among gamers worldwide. Waifus are usually anime or game characters, and they are often portrayed as cute, innocent, and loyal. Some players see them as more than just fictional characters and develop deep emotional connections with them.
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Is it ok to love a waifu?
Loving a waifu is a personal choice and, in most cases, harmless. However, it is essential to understand that waifus are fictional characters and do not have a real-life counterpart. Therefore, it is crucial to maintain a healthy balance between your real-life relationships and your affection for your waifu. In addition, it is essential to understand that waifus are not a substitute for real human relationships and should not be taken too seriously.
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Can I call my girlfriend waifu?
Calling your girlfriend waifu depends on her preferences and your relationship dynamics. Some girlfriends might find it cute and endearing, while others might find it strange or offensive. Therefore, it is essential to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about this matter and respect her wishes.
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What is opposite of waifu?
The opposite of waifu is Husbando. Husbando is a term used to refer to a male character that a person has a strong affection for. Husbando is also a Japanese term and has become popular among gamers worldwide.
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Who first said waifu?
The term “waifu” originated in Japan and became popular in the 1980s. However, its first usage remains unclear. Some sources claim that it originated from the word “wife,” while others believe it originated from the Japanese pronunciation of “wife” (waifu). Nevertheless, waifu has become a popular term in the gaming community, and its usage continues to grow worldwide.
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Is Nezuko a waifu?
Yes, Nezuko from Demon Slayer is a popular waifu among gamers. Nezuko is portrayed as cute, innocent, and loyal, which are typical waifu traits. Her unique design and personality have made her a fan favorite, and she has gained a massive following worldwide.
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Can you marry a waifu?
Marrying a waifu is not legally possible as they are fictional characters. However, some gamers take their affection for their waifu to
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the next level and may have a wedding ceremony or even create a virtual family with their waifu in certain games. While this may be seen as harmless fun, it is essential to remember that waifus are not real and should not be a substitute for real-life relationships.
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Can you have two waifu?
Technically, you can have as many waifus as you want, but it is crucial to understand that having multiple waifus may dilute the emotional connection you have with each of them. It is essential to maintain a healthy balance between your waifus and your real-life relationships. It is also important to remember that waifus are fictional characters and should not be taken too seriously.
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Why do I need a waifu?
The reasons why people develop an affection for waifus vary from person to person. Some gamers see them as an escape from reality and a way to cope with the stresses of life. Others see them as a source of inspiration, motivation, or entertainment. Some players simply find them cute and appealing. Whatever the reason may be, it is important to maintain a healthy balance between your affection for your waifu and your real-life relationships. Waifus should not be a substitute for real-life relationships but rather a fun and harmless way to enjoy your favorite games.
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Final thoughts
In conclusion, gacha games are an exciting and addictive genre of mobile games that have taken the world by storm. With their unique gameplay mechanics and stunning graphics, these games offer hours of entertainment and excitement. Whether you’re a fan of action, romance, horror, or sci-fi, there’s a gacha game out there for you. So why not give one a try and see what all the fuss is about? With so many great options to choose from, you’re sure to find a gacha game that you love.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/dorkvader23
Bride made a profit on bachelorette trip!! (SIL drama)
Originally posted to weddingshaming
Thanks to u/Kresley for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: financial exploitation, controlling behavior, theft, fraud, manipulation, mentions of mental health issues, body image insecurity, infidelity
Forced to wear revealing bridesmaid dress!! Jan 20, 2024
I miss the days when bridesmaids were treated like people and not like stage props! My future SIL is getting married so of course I’m a default bridesmaid. She didn’t give us options for the dress, she picked it out and told us it’s the one we’ll be wearing.
The dress is a strapless, backless, thigh slit halter neck. I am a larger girl - triple D chest should explain why I don’t wear backless or halter styles. Backless means I can’t wear any form of supportive bra AND there is virtually no shapewear I can put underneath it. The only bras that work are stickies or tape, which do not hold me up in the least.
I tried the dress on….my chest is spilling out the sides, back rolls are on full blast, and I am popping out of this thing every which way. I’m so uncomfortable. I basically told the bride sorry, I know it’s your big day but there is no way I’m wearing this dress. My body shape is different from the rest of the bridal party and I can’t justify wearing it.
I told her I’d be fine if I can simply modify it to be more conservative at the back and chest. She DECLINED and told me to “just be more confident in myself” because all the dresses must be identical for photos.
I have no body confidence issues, there are plenty of styles that suit my figure. It just so happens that this dress was not made for larger women and does not look appropriate on my body.
I want to drop out of the wedding but my family insists I stay in because it’s my SIL and it would “ruin” the wedding and the relationship.
I don’t get why I should have to be paraded around in front of my entire family, extended family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc in an outfit that makes me uncomfortable. It’s just getting ridiculous.
Brides - please have enough tact to make sure your girls are comfortable on your special day. We’re humans, not props.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
beckerszzz

Did she not go shopping with her bridesmaids to try on the dresses? I feel like this would have solved all the problems.

OOP

Nope, she chose one online (no consulting with any of the bridesmaids.) I know a few of the other BMs were irked because they would have liked to have a say in the dress, but ultimately no one else complained to her face. The rest of the group is fairly tiny so I’m sure they’re ok in the dress even if it’s not their first choice

~
gnosticnightjar

Can anyone link to a similar dress? I’m having a very hard time picturing what a dress that is backless but also both strapless and a halter top looks like. Aren’t strapless and halter mutually exclusive?

OOP

Yes……so a backless halter dress.

———————-
UPDATE
First of all thank you so much for all the support. I appreciate your helpful advice and suggestions. On that note, I’ve decided to stay in the wedding to avoid sending my mother to an early grave.
HOWEVER!!! I’ve also decided I’ll be wearing the sh*t out of this dress and making sure the center of attention is not on the lovely bride. I tried to resolve the issue with tact and class and was shot down, so I feel I’ve earned the right to be petty.
I’m going to order some really specific shapewear which can be concealed under what little material this dress has (kudos to you all who sent me suggestions!!) I’ll be going FULL side boob, FULL shimmer added on the exposed back, and FULL body oil on the legs for the thigh slit. I’ll be doing an updo on the hair so there is nothing getting in the way of this dress 💃🏻 I’ll be wearing a shawl for everything else, but TRUST that for the ceremony I’ll be looking like Salma Hayek in Dusk till Dawn.
Let’s see what she thinks about this “body confidence” she asked me to find. GIRL please!
If anyone is curious I’ll most likely come back in May to post my pics!!
Bride made a profit on bachelorette trip!! (SIL drama) Jan 23, 2024
SO MUCH TEA. I’m glad I can spill to my Reddit community because I can’t gossip about it to my family!
SO - about 6 months ago the bride planned her destination bachelorette trip and charged each of the 11 girls $650 for the Airbnb. I was salty about the high cost but it’s my SIL so I sucked it up and paid her. I also was suspicious about the high AF price so I did cross check the Airbnb listing and it checked out. (Yes this b wanted a $2300/night beachfront house.)
Well today I’m chatting about wedding stuff with my brother (who is marrying future SIL) and he said something along the lines of “what a relief her dad paid for the Airbnb because that would have been so expensive for your group.”
I about choked! I said hey are you sure about that because all 11 girls paid $650 for the house alone. Maybe run it by her…:..his face turned purple so I take it he had no idea.
To add to the greed going on here - when I got married I flew her out, paid for her accommodations, paid hair and makeup, paid for her bridesmaid dress, and paid transportation because she was going through a hard time. Now she has the balls to steal from me.
I get that weddings are expensive but don’t have one if it requires stealing from your BMs. I’m assuming I’m the only BM who is aware of what’s going on here. Not sure if I should spill to the group or just let it go……
There’s a chance her dad stepped in and paid for it after the fact, and she just chose not to refund us. I’m not clear on the exact situation and want to avoid embarrassing my brother.
——————
UPDATE 1- 1/23/2024
Thanks for all the advice and support! Yes - I agree with most of you who are saying I’m morally obligated to spill the beans because $650 is not child’s play.
This is what I’m going to do. First, I’m going to talk to my brother and give him a chance to clear it up with SIL. Before I make a scene, I want to understand what’s really going on. For example, did daddy pay for the trip but SIL decided to put that towards a different wedding expense? Things like that.
That answer will determine when/how I tell the rest of the BMs. Im going to give my brother only 1-2 days because this trip is literally next week.
Stay tuned for update #2
——————————
UPDATE 2 - 1/26/2024
Alright so I regrouped with my brother. My mom also stepped in, bypassed my brother, and got some more info directly from her dad! HERE’S THE TEA - future SIL’s dad did not offer to cover the cost until a few months after we all paid for the trip. This was after he found out the cost and was pissed that she chose a $2300/night house and asked us to pay. Apparently he threatened not to pay for the wedding if she added more expenses onto the wedding party. Turns out she originally wanted it at the Maldives and he forbid her!
According to my mom who chatted with him directly, he felt embarrassed when he heard about the Airbnb price and wanted to save face with my side of the family. So he gave SIL about $7k to cover the cost of the house. She was supposed to refund us but obviously that never happened.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD - so my mom went total FBI and learned that in addition to not paying us, SIL didn’t put the money towards a different wedding expense either. SHE DOESNT HAVE IT. So where did it go?? What did she spend it on??
There is currently a FULL BLOWN INVESTIGATION going down between our two families rn!
I have been asked by my mom not to alert the BMs just yet until we get the last bits of info AND come to a resolution with both SIL and her dad. But we WILL tell them asap one way or another.
I will come back tomorrow with another update!! Wow, CRAZY.
—————————
UPDATE 3 - 1/27/2024
The plot thickens!! So as this drama is all unfolding, the maid of honor (who doesn’t know what’s going on yet) is continuing her duties. We all get a 4-paragraph text from her outlining the dress code for each night of the bachelorette, per the brides orders. Keep in mind the bride is asking us all to go out and buy new outfits for each night of the trip. And the themes are WILD - animal print Thursday, Faux Fur Friday, Sparkle Dress Saturday, and Barbie brunch Sunday.
As if we’re all going to go out and buy that sh*t one week before the trip (or at all!!) Thankfully the BM’s seem to be waking up to the BS. Several of them wrote back saying they won’t be able to pull together those outfits in time, and one flat out said it’s just not going to happen.
But that’s just a side story to the absolute sh*t show that is unfolding.
My mom is very involved now as she’s paid a decent chunk of this wedding as well, and does NOT like that the bride is throwing around THOUSANDS of dollars from her dad as well as lying to the bridal party.
SHE SET UP A MEETING directly with SIL to cut the BS and explain what’s going on. She told SIL she’s going to inform the BM’s herself unless she gets a valid answer.
At this point I’m just shoveling down popcorn waiting for the events to unfold.
I will be back tonight with hopefully the final update!!
————————
UPDATE 4 - 1/29/2024
A SWAN ICE SCULPTURE.
She used the $7k to book a swan shaped ice sculpture to be displayed at the reception and didn’t tell anyone.
Turns out her dad banned her from adding any more “extras” to the wedding design because it was already so expensive and unnecessary.
When he venmoed her for the Airbnb, she thought she was being sneaky and kept it instead. She didn’t even tell my brother this - he only found out that her dad decided to cover the Airbnb because those two went out for cigars one night and it came up.
So that mystery is solved thanks to my mini FBI crew - but now the REAL questions remain. Where tf is my $650 and how to break the news to the BM’s!??
Out of the kindness of her SOUL my mom is giving SIL 24hrs to confess to the bridesmaids and figure out how to pay us back our money. Because you know what, I did not spend $650 on some damn ICE!!!!! I have kids to feed! I have BILLS TO PAY.
It is taking everything in me not to text the BM group right now but my mom is trying to give SIL one opportunity to do the right thing.
This has been a roller coaster - don’t know if anyone here is still interested, but let me know if I should post the final outcome with the BM’s in one last update.
Lord have MERCY.
————————————
UPDATE 5 - 2/5/2024
Ok - as promised here is the latest tea, served BOILING hot. This is a long update and I’m going to try and get everything in.
First let’s start with the bride’s explanation to her family: myself, my mom, my brother (her fiance) and her dad. She broke down crying saying that wedding planning has been getting to her head, and she has been “crushed” under the pressure to have the perfect wedding. Which she felt couldn’t go on without this alleged Ice Swan.
I didn’t buy her sob story. After this whole incident I think she is a delusional, controlling, attention-starving bridezilla who is using the wedding as a way to compete with other girls on instagram. Btw her job is “influencer” if I didn’t mention that yet.
My brother took the bait. To be honest, I don’t even blame him. This is his future wife, and he said he wants to help her with her mental health and get her back to a good place. He is disturbed by the situation but will continue to support her. The wedding is on, for those who were curious.
Next let’s get into the matter of the missing $7K and whether we’re getting our money back. The sad, gut wrenching answer: probably not. Her dad said he has already paid the Airbnb cost once and he will not do it again. He said his daughter is 31 and needs to get herself out of her own mess and figure out how to make it right. She chimed in that the $7K is gone and asked how she would possibly pay us back. My brother refused to pay for her screw up.
While I love that everyone is finally forcing this b to be an adult, I would like my money back more. Unfortunately we’re not going to get it unless she magically wins the lottery or gets a real job. For those that asked, there is nothing we can do legally. We all willingly paid a fixed amount and we would have to move mountains (and spend more $$$) to sue. Plus, while she was incredibly shady and a terrible friend, she technically didn’t do anything wrong that we could prove.
Now onto the bridesmaids. After some threats from my mom, SIL finally broke down and contacted the BMs in our group chat. She sent a text that made my skin crawl:
“Hey Ladies! You’re my bride squad so I feel compelled to share that my dad recently offered to pay for our bach accommodations. However, being that the wedding is so expensive, I have decided to put his donation towards a wedding expense. I hope you all understand and I can’t wait to party with you all next week!”
Oh HELL no. I immediately replied back making sure everyone knew the “expense” was an ice sculpture. AN ICE SWAN!! Come ON PEOPLE! Many of them replied and expressed how they would have loved to use that $650 for something more important. But ultimately no one has backed out…..one of the girls started a side chat without the bride and asked if there is any chance of getting our $$ back if we force SIL to cancel the reservation. Unfortunately since we’re only a week out, we aren’t eligible for a refund. They decided to go through with the bach or else it would be a literal waste of $650.
As for myself…..I’m in the same boat. I would rather run myself over than go on this trip. But $650 is not a small amount and I can’t fathom just throwing it down the drain. I haven’t made my final decision yet. If I do go, it will solely be to avoid eating the $650 plus my airfare. I will not be doing any of the planned events or outfits, or contributing even $1 more. I would have my own mini vacation as best I can.
Im really upset that it seems like this crazy person is going to get her way after all!!
MINI UPDATE 5.a - 2/10/2024
There are so many curious comments coming in so I want to keep you in the loop!! More drama has unfolded among the bridesmaids.
The side-text without the bride popped off and we have all agreed to do the following:

1. We will be going on the trip, but it is NO LONGER a bachelorette trip. We will all be taking personal vacations with our hubbies/significant others while staying at the property. We were forced into this beachfront mansion + airfare, so we’re going to make the most of it.
   
2. We have all backed out of hosting and paying for the bridal shower. The bride will need to find another way to move forward if she wants to have it. We will attend as guests if she has it, and we will not be gifting anything. Mother of the bride is absolutely furious. More on this later.
   
3. We’re letting the bride know she needs to cancel the Ice Swan ™ and give us our money back. After some more research, we doubt all of the $7k went towards the alleged swan because it doesn’t seem liken they cost that much.
   

I won’t be back for a while because I want to save my next update for after the trip! Stay tuned.
FUN FACT
This is not one of my updates but I thought you guys might like to know that bored panda picked up this story 😂
Check it out: link to article
I will be back around Tuesday with the FINAL post bachelorette trip update!
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
Perspex_Sea

Info: I need to know if you're also paying for your own dress, shoes, make up, hair on top of this.

OOP

Yes - everything. A $350 dress (I have a whole other post about that scandal) $150 hair, $150 makeup, $200 shoes, and I haven’t done jewelry yet. Oh and the bridal shower cost is being split among the 11 girls, PLUS the shower gift, PLUS the wedding gift from me and hubby.
I truly hope bridesmaids go out of style in the very near future…..I go broke every time and on top of that you end up slaving away for some bridezilla.
Not all brides are like this. I’ve been in a few weddings that were really great. THIS is not one of those times.

~
SouthernCrime

So, you have paid $650 for the Airbnb but now you have the added expenses of everything on the trip on the 4 coordinated outfit activities with her sparkly, furry, barbie dresses. (So glad yall just dismissed those!!)
Why do these sad sad women think they need to beat everyone on IG instead of just sticking to a reasonable budget and having a good, stress free wedding.

OOP

Oh helllll no. IF I go, I will not be doing any of the planned outfits or events. I’ll most likely have my own mini vacation so as not to eat the cost of my airline ticket on top of everything else - which I already paid for too

~
Tis_But_A_Scratch-

Good LORD. $650 is good money to anyone not absolutely rolling in the stuff. Honestly if my friend or family expected me to fork out 650, I’d tell them to take a hike off a short pier.
When I got married, I paid for hotels, meals, everything related to my wedding. Guests just had to show up.

OOP

Yes - this exactly. I got married out of the country, which tbh was a way to cut my guest list down to only 15 people. With that said, we paid for flights, accommodations, BM dresses and haiMUA, no bridal shower / no bach, and all the guests had to do was show up and have a good time. And yes, future SIL was part of that group.
The petty part of me wants to send her the bill of her costs from my wedding! If I could go back in time….

~
Castianna

Whatever happened to just going out to dinner and maybe a few drinks with your girlfriends? Shadiness aside, this just seems like a lot of work and I'm experiencing secondhand exhaustion.

OOP

Weddings and all the events that go with them have gotten completely out of control lately. And while this one is pretty extreme, I’m in 3 other weddings this year which are equally involved and expensive. And why is it only the BM’s who are victim to the extreme cost and all the labohard work that goes into it?
Looking at my brother and the groomsmen - the bachelor party was a short drive up to the mountains where they stayed (for free) at a friend’s place, hung out, had some beers, and wished my brother well. Meanwhile the BM’s are spending our life savings, using up PTO, and putting in Olympic sport effort just to get through the bachelorette alone. Not to mention the bridal shower and all the other things still to come.
Sorry to create another rant but I am so over weddings and bridezillas.

FINAL UPDATE 6 - 2/17/2024
Warning - this is a long one.
The absolute TEA I have today. It took me so long to write this because I am at a complete and utter LOSS FOR WORDS.
Where to begin 🐸☕️ ….
Let me start with this: there is no Ice Swan. There never was an ice swan. It was all an elaborate fabrication designed to distract everyone from where the missing $7k actually went.
RIP Ice Swan ™
Turns out there was a reason behind SIL’s luxury bachelorette location. Here’s what happened - all the bridesmaids show up to the beachfront mansion with our significant others. SIL had already been made aware that it was no longer a bachelorette, but to our complete shock, she was still stunned that we actually meant it.
She arrived last in her pre-booked limo absolutely FUMING that no one else showed up to the limo meeting spot at the airport. She was the only one still sticking to the original itinerary. Then she was flabbergasted that the husbands/SO’s were with us. It was a comedy show at best.
Anyway we went about our individual mini vacations and eventually someone realized it had been about 48hrs since anyone had seen SIL. I assumed she was mad and either flew home or went to stay somewhere else.
Then the unthinkable unfolds. SIL rolls up the driveway in a wheelchair being pushed by two female nurses. The entire group jumped into action thinking something horrible happened - everyone ran over to see what was going on but the nurses ushered us away and wheeled SIL into her room.
At this point I’m actually VERY concerned - we’re all banging on her door asking if she’s ok. The nurses eventually leave and say they legally can’t reveal the nature of her health issue but assure us she’s fine. I call my brother and mom but get no answer, so I finally decide to call her mom (aka the mother of the bride, who was FURIOUS that we took over the bachelorette party.) MOB reveals what actually took place.
She isn’t sick, she didn’t have a health issue, there was no accident -
She got her boobs done. 🍈🍈
Yes folks you read that correctly. She had planned - as part of the original itinerary - to disappear for an afternoon and return with a set of new melons.
……..I’m sorry….WHAT?????
The location of the beachfront mansion is conveniently 5 mins away from a very famous cosmetic surgeons office. The reason she needed this giant ass property was not really to host 11 girls, it was to host 11 girls plus the surgery recovery nurses and personal chef she had reserved for after the operation.
There is so much more that we need to unpack, I honestly don’t know where to begin.
• What was her mother’s knowledge/involvement in all this?
• What was the cost of the procedure (GUESSING AROUND $7K) and WHY was it meant to be part of the bach???
• WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THE ICE SWAN LIE??? wtf??!?
• will the bridesmaids (myself included) pursue legal action?
• where does this leave my brother? Is this lady OK mentally? Was this a horribly misplaced cry for attention? Was it an FU to the bridesmaids somehow?
So many questions remain….i am only a few hours back from this trip so this is all the information I have right now. I was intending for this to be my final update and I just want to say - thank you ALL for your support, advice, bags of popcorn, and funny input.
This has been a WILD ride and I’m glad I could share it with you. So far we have had this crazy ordeal picked up by a news publication, multiple podcasts, and a magazine. I literally want to write a book about this experience 😂
I’ve already revealed a great deal of info and so to protect my brother’s privacy moving forward, I think I need to step away from the updates.
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
nunyaranunculus

Oh my god. Are you SURE your brother wasn't in on the theft? Because breast augmentation isn't exactly something you do without consultations and having someone to help you for the ensuing few weeks following the procedure. Did her mother know and was she in on it? I'm assuming FoB and MoB are divorced? If your brother is truly in the dark, his fiancée is throwing red flags around like Oprah threw car keys and he still has time to back out of this.

OOP

So far I know that my brother was aware of the procedure but never imagined our money went towards it. We’re still figuring out exactly where the money went. Apparently there was going to be some grand boob reveal during the bach and we would all celebrate her - I’m still piecing together the details crumb by crumb

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jaduhlynr

I'm guessing she planned on paying out of pocket for the surgery (and having the BMs cover the house), then when the dad offered to pay for the Airbnb she saw the dollar signs and ran with it

OOP

Yeah, we’re assuming this is most likely what happened. I’m still piecing together details about when the hired staff became involved (was this before or after the BM’s backed out?) but at the very least we think she saw an opportunity for free $$$ towards the procedure in one way or another

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BananaIceTea

Nah, this story was kinda believeble at first, but the last few updates were just pure fiction. How did you all managed to organize your spouses to go with you so suddenly? How much was the surgery, personal chef, limo? I just doesnt add up. Especially given the time frame.

OOP

I don’t know all the costs yet or the timeline that she organized all these things - we’re still gathering information 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can’t speak for the other BMs but my husband works remote and was more than happy to tag along. Plus he got to leave the kids at grandmas, which is another incentive lol.
As for the new melons, this is total speculation but I’m betting she has an onlyfans. I know her influencer career (if you can call it that) is not working out, and I have seen several “influencers” switch over to OF.
Not trying to cast even more judgement on her but I just wouldn’t be surprised at this point.

LiberryExpresso

So she gets wheeled past you, you and the bridesmaids find out that she got a boob job with your money, and you all just...left without any follow up discussion? What did the other bridesmaids say? How was there no confrontation with the bride at this point?

OOP

Of course there was confrontation/questions/discussion. It simply has not yielded all the answers yet. We also didn’t chain down the bride and water board her for answers - we took it all in and tried to end our trip on a somewhat normal note 🙂

NEW UPDATES

Not An Update - 2/28/2024
Hey friends! I’m getting boatloads of requests for an update so I’ve decided to make you all a deal - I will come back with an update after the wedding in May. As of right now it is still on!
That’s all I can say for now - check back in May!
CHECKING IN - 3/29/2024
Hi friends, thanks for being so patient for my update. I wanted to let everyone know I have THE UPDATE OF ALL UPDATES coming for you - it turns out the drama just won’t quit with this wedding!!
It is so juicy that for LEGAL REASONS I cannot share it just yet but will be able to post in a day or so.
Check back soon!!!
UPDATE - THE WEDDING IS OFF - 3/30/2024
ALRIGHT Y'ALL - get your comfy socks and your popcorn because I've been holding on to this update for SO LONG and I have to get it all out there. I feel like at this point we've all become good friends - literally when I do these updates I like to imagine we're all together eating snacks and gossiping 😂 I'm on desktop right now so you KNOW I mean business.
ANYWAY - let me start with this: the wedding is officially OFF. I know a lot of you out there were team #CancelTheWedding so this should warm your soul. For me personally, I wanted it to work out for my brother despite her insanity :/ I was kind of hoping this would (somehow) all blow over like a bad dream and he could find normalcy again. Unfortunately that is not at all the case.
Here's what happened: when I last updated you, SIL had pulled up to the bachelorette with a set of new melons and shocked us all. We were left wondering WTF, and I told you I needed to stop the updates to protect my brother's privacy.
Well, that has all changed now and I've been given permission by my brother to spill the f*cking TEA.
My brother was aware that SIL had planned on getting a breast augmentation at some point this year - he actually knew it would be during the bachelorette trip. Despite thinking it was very weird, he really wanted to support her. So he kept her "surprise" a secret. What he did NOT know was that she may have used the bridesmaids money (or even her dad's) to finance it.
But it turns out that she did not in fact use our money or her dad's money to pay for the new titties. That's because her procedure was on the house. Why you ask?
Because she has been having an affair with the surgeon for over a year.
Yes you read that correctly. She's been diddling her married plastic surgeon for more than 14 months. He is a VERY WELL KNOWN PLASTIC SURGEON and his legal team has been ON ME LIKE WHITE ON RICE. There are limits to what I can disclose. At this current moment I have been advised not to disclose the state he practices in, his name, or any personally identifying details.
Back to the story….
He wanted to fly her out for a complimentary titty upgrade!! We found out because his WIFE found her sad little influencer IG page, tracked her down, AND SHOWED UP TO THE FAMILY HOME!!! Which would be her father's house because she still lives there.
There is so much more to say that I think I'm going to have to split this into 2 updates because my fingers are legit going numb. I REALLY wanted to get that off my chest. I know you might be wanting to know the specifics like:
• So WHERE did the money go after all??
• How did the wife find out and what happened when she showed up?? (That's an update in ITSELF!!)
• How is my brother handling this? (besides of course leaving her dusty ass)
• What did SIL have to say for herself?
I PROMISE I will be back to finish this horror story!!!
UPDATE - SOME LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING - 4/1/2024
A few housekeeping items before I share the next update:
• I thought you all should know that I now have to submit all of my updates to an attorney for legal review before I can post them here. This is primarily because of the high profile surgeon (who is aware of this thread) and his legal team. The wife is also in the mix and wants to minimize fallout, so I'm dealing with her people as well. They can’t stop me from telling the story but they CAN come after me if I disclose specific things. Basically everyone knows about this post now (SIL included) but I PROMISE I'm coming back to finish spilling the TEA for you all on that. Ready your kettles!!! 🫖🫖🫖
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• The support/interest/fan club vibes this post generated has been amazing. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me on this crazy ride!! 💗
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• With the support has also come some negativity - I am being impersonated online in a few places, and some people are trying to profit on this story by claiming it as their own. To combat this, I've listed my own information at the top of this post - anyone else is impersonating me and if you spot this story circulating online without directly tagging my IG or Reddit, it's not authentic.
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• Due to the above, I've decided to copyright this content and will continue to amend it as I make the updates. Who knows, maybe SIL will star in a tv series or book about this nightmare one day! 📚
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• I've had some requests to timestamp my previous updates so new readers can get a better timeline. I backdated all of my updates - please go easy on me as I can't remember the exact dates I came back to edit this post, so most dates are approximate. 📆
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• Shout out to the podcasts and other channels who have picked this up for a live reading! The ones I'm aware of include ThreadTalk and Charlotte Dobre. I LOVE listening to these - it's a cool perspective, so feel free to DM me if you come across any others! 🎤
BE BACK SOON!
New update - Instagram Apr 7, 2024
Transcribed
hey friends Juliet Pepperwood here with episode 7 of the Reddit story bride who made a profit on Bachelorette sister in law drama and for those who have been followving since the beginning.
So this one will be brand new. No matter what you're watching or reading the story and now it's time to spill some of the final tea in this crazy kettle, and let me tell you it is piping hot. So here we go.
Let me start by refreshing you memory. At this point in time the wedding is off. My brother has learned about SIL's affair with the plastic surgeon and he called off the engagement, called off the wedding. It is danzo not happening. Also the bridesmaids who had initially assumed that the missing $7000 went towards the melon job, we are now aware that the procedure was free it was on the house. So we still don't know where it went.
Let's start with the affair. So much of this information in fact the vast majority of the information is second hand provided to me by my brother. With permission to share with you all. So when he called off the engagement, my brother asked exSIL to give him the whole truth, it was the least she could do. He just wanted to know honest to God what happened. And this is what I learned.
The wife of the surgeon apparently learned about the affair thanks to a pair of Tiffany diamond earrings which went missing from her jewelry collection and at some point she goes down to the hospital to bring her husband lunch then she sees a female patient wearing the exact pair of Tiffany diamond earrings that she has lost. And yes you guessed it, that patient was our bride. Now I don't know the timeline of when the wife realized that the earrings were missing and started those suspicions, but I do know that she would have seen SIL wearing those earrings at the hospital while she was there getting her consult for the free melon job and this would have been long before the bachelorette trip. Most likely on one of their earlier visits while SIL was flying in and out of town to see him.
Now she did as part of her confession to my brother that she did steal the diamond earrings from the wife during one of the times that she was at the surgeons house. This crazy bat stole the earrings of the wife and if you ask me that is a whole other basket of cuckoo crazy but alas.
So the surgeon demands the earrings back according to SIL. So he either realized that she stole them or the wife had or the wife would have had to bring it up to him and say; hey I'm missing these earrings, I saw this girl in your office wearing them. What's up?
So he's demanding the earrings back and here's the kicker. She doesn't have them. She doesn't have the earrings. She claiming that she lost them. I don't know if she got rid of them. Did she burn them? Was she you know batshit crazy off her rocker? Obviously yes. But the earrings aren't in her possession anymore. So she asks how much do they cost I'm just going to pay you back for the earrings and were gonna move on and continue with our messed up affair. Turns out they cost about $7500 from Tiffany's.
And there you have it folks. Just like that the mystery of the missing $7000 is solved.
So at the time when she was starting to plan this bachelorette trip and then her father comes along offering to cover the cost of the Airbnb she probably sees a golden ticket to recoup almost the full amount of money she needed to pay back the stolen earrings. And she did admit to my brother that she sent her dad's money to the surgeon after he had offered to pay for the Airbnb.
So the surgeon has our missing $7000 and to be quite honest I don't know who is worse. Someone who would start an affair, steal from the wife and then rob their bridesmaids to pay back the cost or the surgeon who continued the affair after learning the mistress stole from his wife. I mean these two were just made for each other.
So I'll never know if the surgeon gifted his wife a new pair of diamond sparklers from Tiffanys with the money but I do know that she was obviously suspicious. I mean one or another this lady found out. Could have been from bumping into SIL at the hospital and seeing the earrings which would be my best guess or it could have been something else that set her off later and caused her to find out. But she ended up at the family home so obviously she knew something was up.
I know that social media was part of the way that she tracked SIL down. So she obviously had her name in advance. Could have been from the hospital? Maybe not because my understanding is that's not allowed, like I don't think you're allowed to disclose patient information. Not sure if it was that but regardless of how she got the name, sure anyone with the name in a mission can find an address online and unfortunately I'm not at liberty to share the details of the confrontation between the wife and SIL. There are just certain things that I cannot get into publicly, that happens to be one of them.
So this update ends here and guys this is the end of the kettle. You know all the tea has been spilled and it was boiling hot thanks to you guys helping me spill it. And I'll tell you what, I will be back with at least one update on how my brothers doing. I'm rooting for him, you're rooting for him. We all want to see him recover so I'll keep you in the loop. I'll let you know how he's holding up.
But for now that is the end of this wild ride and I want to thank each and everyone one of you for your support in helping me spill the tea. Until next time.
A picture of Tiffany Earrings for $7600

EDITORS NOTE: The mods of weddingshaming made a rebuttal post concerning rumors surrounding OOP declaring she was banned or removed.

EDITORS NOTE 2: OOP's Ban coincided at a time reddits servers were having issues
To address the misrepresentation of the SIL Bachlorette Boob Job post being taken down
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hii, MOH here, not sure if this is allowed, but if so, I would really love any advice that can be offered on my situation. Thank you in advance!! 💗
warning long read
Problem: I (28F) want to step down as MOH in my friend’s (31F) wedding, I feel like it’s ruining our friendship, it’s become out of my budget and I’m afraid that by stepping down I’ll lose our friendship entirely & I’m not sure how to talk to her about this.
Context: I have only ever been in one wedding before this and in that experience as a bridesmaid, all that bride wanted was for us to buy our dresses ($50) and show up for rehearsal dinner & day of. I am also currently in graduate school, paying out of pocket while working and doing my internship hours. My friend (31F) makes double my salary, she knows this.
Details: My friend (31F) asked me to me be a bridesmaid in her wedding and I was super excited and asked what she expected while also being upfront that I had minimal experience and no clue what this would entail but was excited nonetheless to celebrate her and make room on my plate of responsibilities if she could give me clear expectations. She said no expectations, she just wanted someone to be excited with for planning her wedding because she also had no clue what goes into wedding planning. I helped her prep on the day of her bridesmaid proposal dinner, at this dinner she told us all (bridal party) that she did not want to have a MOH, and she wanted everyone instead to feel we were all “MOH Level” Since she got engaged (5 months before bridesmaid proposal dinner) and through this whole process leading to present day, I’ve been involved in ways like -giving her feedback on choosing a venue, save the dates, invitations, color palettes/schemes, seating, etc. -I helped organize her planning notes with things like Notion and Pinterest. -I coordinated scheduling virtual wedding party meetings (polling 18 people for availability, calendar invites, agenda setting and Google folders for notes). -I was on Pinterest with her and FaceTime calls figuring out what style of wedding dress she wanted & went with her twice for wedding dress shopping and FaceTimed in everyone who couldn’t make it. I also searched for a wedding photographer for her.
& Around this time (2 months post-bridesmaid dinner) she asked me to be her MOH. I then began trying to plan her bachelorette party (wanted to knock this out as much as possible before my new semester started) and 2 weeks into planning, she announces at the wedding meeting that they will do a joint bachelobachelorette party instead. —There has been no best man for this wedding and her fiancé doesn’t plan on picking someone because she says “his friends are flaky, always bail on hangouts, bdays, & milestone celebrations, etc.)” I will be planning the whole thing on my own. So to work with this change, I asked them a bunch of questions about their preferred activities, food, etc. because I don’t know her fiancé very well and want to plan something that will actually enjoy. I create a mock up of a whole weekend for 20 people, with activities & Airbnb, and her fiancé didn’t like it & instead of one weekend, he wanted multiple weekends over one month, so they scrapped the plans I put together.
I then make a survey asking the wedding party questions about budget, availability, preference of activities, suggestions, food allergies, etc. also asking if anyone would like to help with planning, and everyone said no they just want updates.
3 of her sisters are planning her bridal shower and announced to the bridal party that they have already put a deposit down for a restaurant for a brunch party of 40ppl and the bridal party will contribute to pay the bill $300 per person (7 of us excluding the sisters planning) they also said that I was apart of planning that in their announcement even though I wasn’t.
No one was happy with the price and said it was out of budget and asked for different options. One person called groom to complain and the bride called me to ask what was going on. I shared updates with her and asked if she was including all women in Groom’s party as she had wanted & as well for possible solution (more people more diving the cost) she tells me her sisters know that already, I say I’ll follow up to be sure. At some point she tells me how frustrating it is that people are saying the pricing is so high when on top of that she and her fiancé have been taking side jobs and gigs for extra money just to bring expenses down for everyone. At this point I was a bit surprised and her standpoint on this and rather than have a back and forth we ended the call and I’ve stepped back since to care for my mental health (I have a lot of other things on my plate in addition to this)
I announced to the bridal party and told her sisters planning separately too, that I would be pausing all planning until bridal shower details and pricing are worked out. The sisters did not actually include the women from Groom’s party and asked me to ask them to contribute and rsvp, this brought the price down to $194pp
3 people from the bridal party have reached out to me saying they will no longer be participating in bachelorette/bachelor weekend anymore because the expenses total are just too out of budget and they didn’t like how the bridal shower planning was approached. And to add to this, my husband just found out yesterday he is being let go from his job within the next quarter.
TLDR: my friend’s wedding is out of my budget now & my husband is getting let go from his job within the next quarter. 3 people from bridal party have dropped from the bachelorette/bachelor weekend celebration because the wedding expenses are becoming out of budget (bride doesn’t know yet) & she complained that she and her husband are working extra jobs to make expenses more affordable for people and no one appreciates it. I am feeling burnt out and not sure how to move forward without this crashing and burning our friendship + my mental health.
So far the cost of this wedding has been: $150, fabric of traditional culture wedding attire $300 for tailor (expense that was only shared later and not upfront) $580 for hotel at venue $50+ for American wedding attire (they are having two weddings) $194 (originally $300) for bridal shower $500 average budget for bachelobachelorette weekend estimated $1.8K (not including gifts yet)
Thank you!!

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/dorkvader23 posting in weddingshaming
Ongoing as per OOP, maybe some more tea left to spill.
2 updates - Long
Content warning - infuriating
Original - 20th January 2024
5 Updates - 22nd January 2024
Final Update in the same post - 30th January 2024
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2 New Updates
Several New Updates - Post dated 2nd April 2024
Response from weddingshaming - Post dated 2nd April 2024
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Forced to wear revealing bridesmaid dress!!
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I miss the days when bridesmaids were treated like people and not like stage props! My future SIL is getting married so of course I’m a default bridesmaid. She didn’t give us options for the dress, she picked it out and told us it’s the one we’ll be wearing.
The dress is a strapless, backless, thigh slit halter neck. I am a larger girl - triple D chest should explain why I don’t wear backless or halter styles. Backless means I can’t wear any form of supportive bra AND there is virtually no shapewear I can put underneath it. The only bras that work are stickies or tape, which do not hold me up in the least.
I tried the dress on….my chest is spilling out the sides, back rolls are on full blast, and I am popping out of this thing every which way. I’m so uncomfortable. I basically told the bride sorry, I know it’s your big day but there is no way I’m wearing this dress. My body shape is different from the rest of the bridal party and I can’t justify wearing it.
I told her I’d be fine if I can simply modify it to be more conservative at the back and chest. She DECLINED and told me to “just be more confident in myself” because all the dresses must be identical for photos.
I have no body confidence issues, there are plenty of styles that suit my figure. It just so happens that this dress was not made for larger women and does not look appropriate on my body.
I want to drop out of the wedding but my family insists I stay in because it’s my SIL and it would “ruin” the wedding and the relationship.
I don’t get why I should have to be paraded around in front of my entire family, extended family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc in an outfit that makes me uncomfortable. It’s just getting ridiculous.
Brides - please have enough tact to make sure your girls are comfortable on your special day. We’re humans, not props.
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UPDATE
First of all thank you so much for all the support. I appreciate your helpful advice and suggestions. On that note, I’ve decided to stay in the wedding to avoid sending my mother to an early grave.
HOWEVER!!! I’ve also decided I’ll be wearing the sh*t out of this dress and making sure the center of attention is not on the lovely bride. I tried to resolve the issue with tact and class and was shot down, so I feel I’ve earned the right to be petty.
I’m going to order some really specific shapewear which can be concealed under what little material this dress has (kudos to you all who sent me suggestions!!) I’ll be going FULL side boob, FULL shimmer added on the exposed back, and FULL body oil on the legs for the thigh slit. I’ll be doing an updo on the hair so there is nothing getting in the way of this dress 💃🏻 I’ll be wearing a shawl for everything else, but TRUST that for the ceremony I’ll be looking like Salma Hayek in Dusk till Dawn.
Let’s see what she thinks about this “body confidence” she asked me to find. GIRL please!
If anyone is curious I’ll most likely come back in May to post my pics!!
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Comments
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that_was_way_harsh
Drop out of the wedding. A bride who is that insistent on her vision over the comfort of people who are supposed to be her nearest and dearest isn’t going to stop with dresses. Next will be insisting on a bachelorette party nobody can afford, demanding that you use her makeup artist at your own expense, etc etc etc. I hope your fiancé will support you if you decide to bail out, even if the rest of the family is pressuring you.
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Updates - 2 days later
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Bride made a profit on bachelorette trip!! (SIL drama)
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SO MUCH TEA. I’m glad I can spill to my Reddit community because I can’t gossip about it to my family!
SO - about 6 months ago the bride planned her destination bachelorette trip and charged each of the 11 girls $650 for the Airbnb. I was salty about the high cost but it’s my SIL so I sucked it up and paid her. I also was suspicious about the high AF price so I did cross check the Airbnb listing and it checked out. (Yes this b wanted a $2300/night beachfront house.)
Well today I’m chatting about wedding stuff with my brother (who is marrying future SIL) and he said something along the lines of “what a relief her dad paid for the Airbnb because that would have been so expensive for your group.”
I about choked! I said hey are you sure about that because all 11 girls paid $650 for the house alone. Maybe run it by her…:..his face turned purple so I take it he had no idea.
To add to the greed going on here - when I got married I flew her out, paid for her accommodations, paid hair and makeup, paid for her bridesmaid dress, and paid transportation because she was going through a hard time. Now she has the balls to steal from me.
I get that weddings are expensive but don’t have one if it requires stealing from your BMs. I’m assuming I’m the only BM who is aware of what’s going on here. Not sure if I should spill to the group or just let it go……
There’s a chance her dad stepped in and paid for it after the fact, and she just chose not to refund us. I’m not clear on the exact situation and want to avoid embarrassing my brother.
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UPDATE #1
Thanks for all the advice and support! Yes - I agree with most of you who are saying I’m morally obligated to spill the beans because $650 is not child’s play.
This is what I’m going to do. First, I’m going to talk to my brother and give him a chance to clear it up with SIL. Before I make a scene, I want to understand what’s really going on. For example, did daddy pay for the trip but SIL decided to put that towards a different wedding expense? Things like that.
That answer will determine when/how I tell the rest of the BMs. Im going to give my brother only 1-2 days because this trip is literally next week.
Stay tuned for update #2
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UPDATE #2
Alright so I regrouped with my brother. My mom also stepped in, bypassed my brother, and got some more info directly from her dad! HERE’S THE TEA - future SIL’s dad did not offer to cover the cost until a few months after we all paid for the trip. This was after he found out the cost and was pissed that she chose a $2300/night house and asked us to pay. Apparently he threatened not to pay for the wedding if she added more expenses onto the wedding party. Turns out she originally wanted it at the Maldives and he forbid her!
According to my mom who chatted with him directly, he felt embarrassed when he heard about the Airbnb price and wanted to save face with my side of the family. So he gave SIL about $7k to cover the cost of the house. She was supposed to refund us but obviously that never happened.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD - so my mom went total FBI and learned that in addition to not paying us, SIL didn’t put the money towards a different wedding expense either. SHE DOESNT HAVE IT. So where did it go?? What did she spend it on??
There is currently a FULL BLOWN INVESTIGATION going down between our two families rn!
I have been asked by my mom not to alert the BMs just yet until we get the last bits of info AND come to a resolution with both SIL and her dad. But we WILL tell them asap one way or another.
I will come back tomorrow with another update!! Wow, CRAZY.
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UPDATE #3
The plot thickens!! So as this drama is all unfolding, the maid of honor (who doesn’t know what’s going on yet) is continuing her duties. We all get a 4-paragraph text from her outlining the dress code for each night of the bachelorette, per the brides orders. Keep in mind the bride is asking us all to go out and buy new outfits for each night of the trip. And the themes are WILD - animal print Thursday, Faux Fur Friday, Sparkle Dress Saturday, and Barbie brunch Sunday.
As if we’re all going to go out and buy that sh*t one week before the trip (or at all!!) Thankfully the BM’s seem to be waking up to the BS. Several of them wrote back saying they won’t be able to pull together those outfits in time, and one flat out said it’s just not going to happen.
But that’s just a side story to the absolute sh*t show that is unfolding.
My mom is very involved now as she’s paid a decent chunk of this wedding as well, and does NOT like that the bride is throwing around THOUSANDS of dollars from her dad as well as lying to the bridal party.
SHE SET UP A MEETING directly with SIL to cut the BS and explain what’s going on. She told SIL she’s going to inform the BM’s herself unless she gets a valid answer.
At this point I’m just shoveling down popcorn waiting for the events to unfold.
I will be back tonight with hopefully the final update!!
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UPDATE #4
A SWAN ICE SCULPTURE.
She used the $7k to book a swan shaped ice sculpture to be displayed at the reception and didn’t tell anyone.
Turns out her dad banned her from adding any more “extras” to the wedding design because it was already so expensive and unnecessary.
When he venmoed her for the Airbnb, she thought she was being sneaky and kept it instead. She didn’t even tell my brother this - he only found out that her dad decided to cover the Airbnb because those two went out for cigars one night and it came up.
So that mystery is solved thanks to my mini FBI crew - but now the REAL questions remain. Where tf is my $650 and how to break the news to the BM’s!??
Out of the kindness of her SOUL my mom is giving SIL 24hrs to confess to the bridesmaids and figure out how to pay us back our money. Because you know what, I did not spend $650 on some damn ICE!!!!! I have kids to feed! I have BILLS TO PAY.
It is taking everything in me not to text the BM group right now but my mom is trying to give SIL one opportunity to do the right thing.
This has been a roller coaster - don’t know if anyone here is still interested, but let me know if I should post the final outcome with the BM’s in one last update.
Lord have MERCY.
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UPDATE #5
Ok - as promised here is the latest tea, served BOILING hot. This is a long update and I’m going to try and get everything in.
First let’s start with the bride’s explanation to her family: myself, my mom, my brother (her fiance) and her dad. She broke down crying saying that wedding planning has been getting to her head, and she has been “crushed” under the pressure to have the perfect wedding. Which she felt couldn’t go on without this alleged Ice Swan.
I didn’t buy her sob story. After this whole incident I think she is a delusional, controlling, attention-starving bridezilla who is using the wedding as a way to compete with other girls on instagram. Btw her job is “influencer” if I didn’t mention that yet.
My brother took the bait. To be honest, I don’t even blame him. This is his future wife, and he said he wants to help her with her mental health and get her back to a good place. He is disturbed by the situation but will continue to support her. The wedding is on, for those who were curious.
Next let’s get into the matter of the missing $7K and whether we’re getting our money back. The sad, gut wrenching answer: probably not. Her dad said he has already paid the Airbnb cost once and he will not do it again. He said his daughter is 31 and needs to get herself out of her own mess and figure out how to make it right. She chimed in that the $7K is gone and asked how she would possibly pay us back. My brother refused to pay for her screw up.
While I love that everyone is finally forcing this b to be an adult, I would like my money back more. Unfortunately we’re not going to get it unless she magically wins the lottery or gets a real job. For those that asked, there is nothing we can do legally. We all willingly paid a fixed amount and we would have to move mountains (and spend more $$$) to sue. Plus, while she was incredibly shady and a terrible friend, she technically didn’t do anything wrong that we could prove.
Now onto the bridesmaids. After some threats from my mom, SIL finally broke down and contacted the BMs in our group chat. She sent a text that made my skin crawl:
“Hey Ladies! You’re my bride squad so I feel compelled to share that my dad recently offered to pay for our bach accommodations. However, being that the wedding is so expensive, I have decided to put his donation towards a wedding expense. I hope you all understand and I can’t wait to party with you all next week!”
Oh HELL no. I immediately replied back making sure everyone knew the “expense” was an ice sculpture. AN ICE SWAN!! Come ON PEOPLE! Many of them replied and expressed how they would have loved to use that $650 for something more important. But ultimately no one has backed out…..one of the girls started a side chat without the bride and asked if there is any chance of getting our $$ back if we force SIL to cancel the reservation. Unfortunately since we’re only a week out, we aren’t eligible for a refund. They decided to go through with the bach or else it would be a literal waste of $650.
As for myself…..I’m in the same boat. I would rather run myself over than go on this trip. But $650 is not a small amount and I can’t fathom just throwing it down the drain. I haven’t made my final decision yet. If I do go, it will solely be to avoid eating the $650 plus my airfare. I will not be doing any of the planned events or outfits, or contributing even $1 more. I would have my own mini vacation as best I can.
Im really upset that it seems like this crazy person is going to get her way after all!!
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MINI UPDATE 5.a
There are so many curious comments coming in so I want to keep you in the loop!! More drama has unfolded among the bridesmaids.
The side-text without the bride popped off and we have all agreed to do the following:
We will be going on the trip, but it is NO LONGER a bachelorette trip. We will all be taking personal vacations with our hubbies/significant others while staying at the property. We were forced into this beachfront mansion + airfare, so we’re going to make the most of it.
We have all backed out of hosting and paying for the bridal shower. The bride will need to find another way to move forward if she wants to have it. We will attend as guests if she has it, and we will not be gifting anything. Mother of the bride is absolutely furious. More on this later.
We’re letting the bride know she needs to cancel the Ice Swan ™ and give us our money back. After some more research, we doubt all of the $7k went towards the alleged swan because it doesn’t seem liken they cost that much.
I won’t be back for a while because I want to save my next update for after the trip! Stay tuned.
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FUN FACT
This is not one of my updates but I thought you guys might like to know that bored panda picked up this story 😂
Check it out: link to article
I will be back around Tuesday with the FINAL post bachelorette trip update!
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Comments
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Perspex_Sea
Info: I need to know if you're also paying for your own dress, shoes, make up, hair on top of this.

OOP: Yes - everything. A $350 dress (I have a whole other post about that scandal) $150 hair, $150 makeup, $200 shoes, and I haven’t done jewelry yet. Oh and the bridal shower cost is being split among the 11 girls, PLUS the shower gift, PLUS the wedding gift from me and hubby.
I truly hope bridesmaids go out of style in the very near future…..I go broke every time and on top of that you end up slaving away for some bridezilla.
Not all brides are like this. I’ve been in a few weddings that were really great.
THIS is not one of those times.

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Perrydotto
I don't know how well off you are but to me 650 dollars would never ever be "just let it go" money.

OOP: Yes - this exactly. I got married out of the country, which tbh was a way to cut my guest list down to only 15 people. With that said, we paid for flights, accommodations, BM dresses and haiMUA, no bridal shower / no bach, and all the guests had to do was show up and have a good time. And yes, future SIL was part of that group.
The petty part of me wants to send her the bill of her costs from my wedding! If I could go back in time….

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Castianna
Whatever happened to just going out to dinner and maybe a few drinks with your girlfriends? Shadiness aside, this just seems like a lot of work and I'm experiencing secondhand exhaustion.

OOP: Weddings and all the events that go with them have gotten completely out of control lately. And while this one is pretty extreme, I’m in 3 other weddings this year which are equally involved and expensive. And why is it only the BM’s who are victim to the extreme cost and all the labohard work that goes into it?
Looking at my brother and the groomsmen - the bachelor party was a short drive up to the mountains where they stayed (for free) at a friend’s place, hung out, had some beers, and wished my brother well. Meanwhile the BM’s are spending our life savings, using up PTO, and putting in Olympic sport effort just to get through the bachelorette alone. Not to mention the bridal shower and all the other things still to come. Sorry to create another rant but I am so over weddings and bridezillas.

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**FINAL UPDATE #6 - 10 days after original post*\*
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Warning - this is a long one.
The absolute TEA I have today. It took me so long to write this because I am at a complete and utter LOSS FOR WORDS.
Where to begin 🐸☕️ ….
Let me start with this: there is no Ice Swan. There never was an ice swan. It was all an elaborate fabrication designed to distract everyone from where the missing $7k actually went.
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RIP Ice Swan ™
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Turns out there was a reason behind SIL’s luxury bachelorette location. Here’s what happened - all the bridesmaids show up to the beachfront mansion with our significant others. SIL had already been made aware that it was no longer a bachelorette, but to our complete shock, she was still stunned that we actually meant it.
She arrived last in her pre-booked limo absolutely FUMING that no one else showed up to the limo meeting spot at the airport. She was the only one still sticking to the original itinerary. Then she was flabbergasted that the husbands/SO’s were with us. It was a comedy show at best.
Anyway we went about our individual mini vacations and eventually someone realized it had been about 48hrs since anyone had seen SIL. I assumed she was mad and either flew home or went to stay somewhere else.
Then the unthinkable unfolds. SIL rolls up the driveway in a wheelchair being pushed by two female nurses. The entire group jumped into action thinking something horrible happened - everyone ran over to see what was going on but the nurses ushered us away and wheeled SIL into her room.
At this point I’m actually VERY concerned - we’re all banging on her door asking if she’s ok. The nurses eventually leave and say they legally can’t reveal the nature of her health issue but assure us she’s fine. I call my brother and mom but get no answer, so I finally decide to call her mom (aka the mother of the bride, who was FURIOUS that we took over the bachelorette party.) MOB reveals what actually took place.
She isn’t sick, she didn’t have a health issue, there was no accident -
She got her boobs done. 🍈🍈!
Yes folks you read that correctly. She had planned - as part of the original itinerary - to disappear for an afternoon and return with a set of new melons.
……..I’m sorry….WHAT?????
The location of the beachfront mansion is conveniently 5 mins away from a very famous cosmetic surgeons office. The reason she needed this giant ass property was not really to host 11 girls, it was to host 11 girls plus the surgery recovery nurses and personal chef she had reserved for after the operation.
There is so much more that we need to unpack, I honestly don’t know where to begin.
What was her mother’s knowledge/involvement in all this?
What was the cost of the procedure (GUESSING AROUND $7K) and WHY was it meant to be part of the bach???
WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THE ICE SWAN LIE??? wtf??!?
will the bridesmaids (myself included) pursue legal action?
where does this leave my brother? Is this lady OK mentally? Was this a horribly misplaced cry for attention? Was it an FU to the bridesmaids somehow?
So many questions remain….i am only a few hours back from this trip so this is all the information I have right now. I was intending for this to be my final update and I just want to say - thank you ALL for your support, advice, bags of popcorn, and funny input.
This has been a WILD ride and I’m glad I could share it with you. So far we have had this crazy ordeal picked up by a news publication, multiple podcasts, and a magazine. I literally want to write a book about this experience 😂
I’ve already revealed a great deal of info and so to protect my brother’s privacy moving forward, I think I need to step away from the updates.
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Comments
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angeliswastaken_sock

I think I need to step away from the updates.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to accommodate this.
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DancinginHyrule
So, in short she lied to her husband, her family, his family and her friends, stole from the latter to get new boobs.
How eould she even go about explaining this to her fiance when she got home if she had gotten away with the lying and stealing? “Honey, I’m back. We had so much fun that I got a spontanous boob job”??
Except, fiance knows she stole that money. And if he has half a brain, he’ll figure out that she could have gotten most of it back and paid her friends (there’d prob be a fee for cancelling on short notice but she had the rest in hand).
She just did not want to. She pissed away everyone around her’s trust and respect for boobs. Maybe even her marriage/relationship.
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nunyaranunculus
Oh my god. Are you SURE your brother wasn't in on the theft? Because breast augmentation isn't exactly something you do without consultations and having someone to help you for the ensuing few weeks following the procedure. Did her mother know and was she in on it? I'm assuming FoB and MoB are divorced? If your brother is truly in the dark, his fiancée is throwing red flags around like Oprah threw car keys and he still has time to back out of this.

OOP: So far I know that my brother was aware of the procedure but never imagined our money went towards it. We’re still figuring out exactly where the money went. Apparently there was going to be some grand boob reveal during the bach and we would all celebrate her - I’m still piecing together the details crumb by crumb

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bambina821
When is the wedding? I understand it takes 4-6weeks for the swelling to subside, so I'm also wondering if the SIL had her dress made to fit her new anticipated bust size or just decided to let her cups runneth over.
I looked it up, and boob jobs in LA cost anywhere from about $7,000 to $15,000. I'm guessing with a famous plastic surgeon, the cost would be toward the upper end of the range. Two private nurses in LA are going to run at least $200 a day (total), and that's if they don't spend the night. The private chef would cost another couple hundred if he does only one meal. I wonder who the bride conned to get the rest of the money.
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Background_Hour9499
I feel like you think you are protecting your brother, but he is enabling her now. And please tell me everyone dropped off from the bridal party now? And I feel like you've got enough messages and proof now for the bridal party to sue her.

OOP: I don’t know all the costs yet or the timeline that she organized all these things - we’re still gathering information 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can’t speak for the other BMs but my husband works remote and was more than happy to tag along. Plus he got to leave the kids at grandmas, which is another incentive lol.
As for the new melons, this is total speculation but I’m betting she has an onlyfans. I know her influencer career (if you can call it that) is not working out, and I have seen several “influencers” switch over to OF.
Not trying to cast even more judgement on her but I just wouldn’t be surprised at this point.

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LiberryExpresso
So she gets wheeled past you, you and the bridesmaids find out that she got a boob job with your money, and you all just...left without any follow up discussion? What did the other bridesmaids say? How was there no confrontation with the bride at this point?

OOP: Of course there was confrontation/questions/discussion. It simply has not yielded all the answers yet. We also didn’t chain down the bride and water board her for answers - we took it all in and tried to end our trip on a somewhat normal note

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**Update - a few months later*\*
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Not An Update - 2/28/2024
Hey friends! I’m getting boatloads of requests for an update so I’ve decided to make you all a deal - I will come back with an update after the wedding in May. As of right now it is still on!
That’s all I can say for now - check back in May!
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CHECKING IN - 3/29/2024
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Hi friends, thanks for being so patient for my update. I wanted to let everyone know I have THE UPDATE OF ALL UPDATES coming for you - it turns out the drama just won’t quit with this wedding!!
It is so juicy that for LEGAL REASONS I cannot share it just yet but will be able to post in a day or so.
Check back soon!!!
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UPDATE - THE WEDDING IS OFF - 3/30/2024
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ALRIGHT Y'ALL - get your comfy socks and your popcorn because I've been holding on to this update for SO LONG and I have to get it all out there. I feel like at this point we've all become good friends - literally when I do these updates I like to imagine we're all together eating snacks and gossiping 😂 I'm on desktop right now so you KNOW I mean business.
ANYWAY - let me start with this: the wedding is officially OFF. I know a lot of you out there were team #CancelTheWedding so this should warm your soul. For me personally, I wanted it to work out for my brother despite her insanity :/ I was kind of hoping this would (somehow) all blow over like a bad dream and he could find normalcy again. Unfortunately that is not at all the case.
Here's what happened: when I last updated you, SIL had pulled up to the bachelorette with a set of new melons and shocked us all. We were left wondering WTF, and I told you I needed to stop the updates to protect my brother's privacy.
Well, that has all changed now and I've been given permission by my brother to spill the f*cking TEA.
My brother was aware that SIL had planned on getting a breast augmentation at some point this year - he actually knew it would be during the bachelorette trip. Despite thinking it was very weird, he really wanted to support her. So he kept her "surprise" a secret. What he did NOT know was that she may have used the bridesmaids money (or even her dad's) to finance it.
But it turns out that she did not in fact use our money or her dad's money to pay for the new titties. That's because her procedure was on the house. Why you ask?
Because she has been having an affair with the surgeon for over a year.
Yes you read that correctly. She's been diddling her married plastic surgeon for more than 14 months. He is a VERY WELL KNOWN PLASTIC SURGEON and his legal team has been ON ME LIKE WHITE ON RICE. There are limits to what I can disclose. At this current moment I have been advised not to disclose the state he practices in, his name, or any personally identifying details.
Back to the story….
He wanted to fly her out for a complimentary titty upgrade!! We found out because his WIFE found her sad little influencer IG page, tracked her down, AND SHOWED UP TO THE FAMILY HOME!!! Which would be her father's house because she still lives there.
There is so much more to say that I think I'm going to have to split this into 2 updates because my fingers are legit going numb. I REALLY wanted to get that off my chest. I know you might be wanting to know the specifics like:

• So WHERE did the money go after all??
• How did the wife find out and what happened when she showed up?? (That's an update in ITSELF!!)
• How is my brother handling this? (besides of course leaving her dusty ass)
• What did SIL have to say for herself?

I PROMISE I will be back to finish this horror story!!!
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There is additional detail about copyrighting the story and moving the rest of the updates to Instagram, in response weddingshaming deleted the original post and posted a rebuttal, you can check out the details in the link.
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To address the misrepresentation of the SIL Bachelorette Boob Job post being taken down
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

India Community Center in Milpitas, California is hosting a bridal fair on April 20, 2024. It's gonna have a number of vendors from the wedding industry, including jewelry and clothing as well as entertainment with a fashion show. There's also a virtual fashion show contest by the online publication, India Currents (covering the desi community for 37 years - I work here) asking to send in videos by April 5.
https://reddit.com/link/1bug2cf/video/0wp4yrd036sc1/player

I (27 F) am getting married in about a month. I asked both my sisters to be in my bridal party a year prior, the oldest one (31 F) being my MOH. A couple weeks ago I had my bridal shower and I asked my sisters to help prepare with some food and decor the day before. My younger sister (22 F) was supposed to help me with making a balloon arch. The day we were to prepare, I woke up earlier than expected (7am) and started preparing the desserts early. I didn't message my sisters as I knew they would still be sleeping. Around 10am my older sister texted in our group chat (with me and my younger sister) that she just woke up and my younger sister also shortly texted after that she just woke up. I saw those texts, quickly responded to both of them, and continued making desserts. My younger sister asked what time she should come to my house to help (at 10:07am). (I'm including these timestamps for a reason). I didn't get back to her and she asked again (at 10:23am) and I responded "when you can" (at 10:25am) and responded to the other questions I got. Mind you, I was preparing food, so I wasn't looking at my phone as often. My sister had a couple texts after but then nothing from both until 11:43am when my older sister asked if my younger sister was at my house. She replied that she isn't and that I didn't tell her what time. Fair, I didn't tell her what time, so I responded with 1pm (at 11:46am). My younger sister then replied with, "I don't know where I am going or what I need to bring". (I don't know if she was joking or being dumb, because where do you think you're going if I'm at my house and I need help preparing?) Anyways, my older sister then gave her a list with pictures of what she needs to bring at 11:52am. We continued texting and ended up facetiming talking about what we are doing today and what I have already done and that she doesn't really need to come to my house if she does not want to. I hung up first and I'm not sure what happened after I hung up on the call but my older sister messaged our group chat after saying my younger sister hung up on her (with a sad face). She also said she doesn't love her (with a sad face). I said "lol rude (younger sister name)" and that's where my younger sister started to freak out. I also want to note that my sisters and I always joke and are sarcastic with each other. So what my older sister and I said is not something new. We're joking with each other. Anyways, my younger sister started freaking out on us saying she was supposed to go to another city (an hour and a half away) to go see her very recent bf or hook up. I don't know what they are tbh. She didn't go because I asked for her help to prepare things. I think I only asked her to help blow up balloons which my older sister did say she can come to my house and help and then go to her house after (which is like across the street) to help her make tiramisu and try on her bridesmaid dress (which my younger sister hasn't tried on - it only arrive a couple days before). My younger sister then proceeded to say that we wasted her time and is going to go see her bf or whatever. She also noted that she won't be attending my bridal shower. I reiterated that I told her to come to my house for 1pm but she noted that I said that after several times. To recap, she asked 3 times, which I responded "whenever you can" after the second ask and then when she asked again, I said 1pm.
I continued to finish up my to do list for my bridal shower but I was bothered that she said she won't be attending. Now, she has said some ugly stuff in the past that I think she didn't mean, so I was hoping that this was the same case, but I was not sure so I messaged her at around 9pm. I texted her 1/1 "i hope you're coming tomorrow. I'll be upset if you don't". She then replied that I never gave her the address or when the event starts and that she will not wake up at 6am and drive 2 hours away not knowing where to go. She also said that she didn't get any info and that last minute plan changes "don't work well with her uber autism". The thing is, my older sister, her and my mom were the first ones to see the invite and I spoke to them about this months ago. Anyways, it was a virtual invite, so it was sent to our group chat (my mom, my sisters and I) and I took a screenshot of that message with her in the group and sent it to her. She said she will think about it and since she noted that she didn't want to wake up so early to help decorate the venue, I told her to just come for when the party starts (at 12:30pm).
The next day (the day of my bridal shower). I received no texts or messages from her and she did not show up. I was sad and angry at the same time because 1. she was part of my head count (which I had to cover for her food) 2. she's part of my bridal party and 3. most importantly she is my sister. Instead of going to my bridal shower, she decided her new found bf or hook up, was more important. Because she did not show up for my bridal shower, I thought that she would also not show up to my wedding. I wanted to ask if she's still coming to my wedding but I could not get myself to message her because I was afraid I was going to say something that I regret. So I spoke to my sister and she said she will talk to her. She is the most level headed out of the three of us for sure - so I let her. My older sister asked my younger sister if she was still going to my wedding and if not, she will return the bridesmaid dress she got her. My younger sister responded with "if she doesn't want me there, yea, go ahead." My older sister said that I want her there and that I'm not sure if she's going because she did not show up for my bridal shower. She then says that she will think about it and that we have been making her free up time and cancelling and it's a lot of work for her to do. So now she does not want to do that anymore. She said she gives up a lot of her time that should be spent on studying and work for us and that my bachelorette is falling the weekend before her exams and that we're trying to make her go. (my bachelorette starts Friday evening, Saturday, and we're returning home Sunday morning - but she goes almost every weekend to see her bf and friends - ok). She also said that I do not make the effort in hanging out with her and that she always tries to make the effort in seeing me and that she does not want to do that anymore. I would like to note that we only see her maybe once or twice a month when my sister and/or I go to our parent's house. She RARELY comes to our house to see us. We always go to her. She also mentioned that she cannot drop everything just for us, yet she cancelled on my bridal shower and helping us out just to go see her bf. There were more stuff my older sister and her talked about - her not needing to make plans with us just to hang out and that she can just come to our house whenever, her saying that we don't care about her education, her being the problem, etc. The conversation ended with her not saying if she's coming to my wedding or not.
Now it's been a few days later, and I haven't received a yes or no to see if she's attending my wedding so I texted her to confirm. She didn't respond to me so I checked to see if the message went through or if she read it. I noticed that it sent as a text message and we both have iPhones - meaning she blocked me. I messaged my older sister and it turns out that she also blocked her. My younger sister also removed herself from the group chat with my my mom and my other siblings. So now, I guess she's not coming to my wedding or is a part of my bridal party.
My older sister took her out of our Spotify and Apple family plan. I also plan to take the stuff she took from me back. She cut herself from us, so we're just doing the same thing. Are we the assholes?

Michael via X this morning:
While I'm working on a story about the passing of Libby Murdaugh, my former English teacher, here's my previous USAT story on all the Murdaugh ladies.
Michael M. DeWitt, Jr. / Greenville News / Published 5:10am ET / March 2, 2023
Key Points
• The Murdaugh women strived to be ladies of education, culture, and social standing, and for the most part, avoided the public controversy that often haunted their husbands.
• In their hometowns of Hampton and Varnville, life was seemingly perfect for the Murdaughs, and the women, as well as the men, worked to keep it that way.
• Their social connection to the community would prove valuable to the Murdaugh family.
The world has heard a lot about the Murdaugh attorneys of Hampton County, lately.
Three generations of men named Randolph Murdaugh wielded legal and political power in the five-county 14th Judicial Circuit of the South Carolina Lowcountry - serving as both chief prosecutor and running a mammoth personal injury law firm - until a scandalous scion wrecked their reputation and brought about the fall of a century-old dynasty.
Now disbarred and disgraced fourth-generation lawyer Richard "Alex" Murdaugh is standing trial this week in Walterboro, S.C., on charges he murdered his wife and son - and then must answer to roughly 100 other criminal charges related to a decade-long, multi-county financial and drug-related crime spree that further destroyed his family and the law firm it founded.
Behind every prominent dynasty are the wives and mothers who helped build it.
While the Randolph Murdaughs practiced law and politics, drank whiskey and played golf with their cronies, and socialized at the hunting clubs and political or civic gatherings, the Murdaugh women played a different, but no less important role.
Murdaugh women: Ladies of culture and education
The Murdaugh women strived to be ladies of education, culture, and social standing, and for the most part, avoided the public controversy that often haunted their husbands.
By the early 1900s onward (in a time when women were still fighting for equality and the right to vote) as the names of the Murdaugh men filled the local news columns, their wives’ comings and goings peppered the community pages. Their tea parties, bridal showers, bridge games, flower judging at garden parties, family trips to Florida - all made the society pages of the area papers.
In their hometowns of Hampton and Varnville, life was seemingly perfect for the Murdaughs, and the women, as well as the men, worked to keep it that way. But the Murdaugh women weren’t the stereotypical, stay-at-home “trophy wives” for the wealthy and prominent men of that generation.
“The Murdaugh women were not accessories: they were smart, all four generations,” said Hampton County historian Sam Crews. “They kept their pulse on the community.”
For every garden party or bridal shower hosted or attended by a Murdaugh lady, one would also find other attorneys’ wives, as well as the wives and daughters and sisters of bankers, town and county leaders, and business leaders—a virtual “Who’s Who” of everyone the Murdaughs deemed important or useful in the 14th Judicial Circuit.
This social connection to the community would prove valuable to the Murdaugh family in general, its law firm when it was time to pick a jury, and even the Hampton County Democratic Party, which for a time was conveniently located inside Randolph Buster Murdaugh Jr.’s personal law office in Hampton, Crews said.
In all but a handful of elections, the three Randolph Murdaughs ran unopposed for the office of 14th Circuit Solicitor, and when they were opposed, they easily claimed victory.
Anna Marvin Davis Murdaugh
Whether by design or the circumstances of living in higher social circles, the Murdaugh men demonstrated a pattern of marrying well in equally high circles.
Anna Marvin Davis married Josiah Putman Murdaugh II, the father of Randolph Murdaugh Sr., the attorney who launched the Murdaugh dynasty by opening a one-man practice in 1910 and then winning the office of solicitor in 1920. Anna Marvin Davis Murdaugh claimed kinship with the President of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis. Her obit notes that her birthplace was “the beautiful estate, Dorchester, so often mentioned by [William] Gilmore Sims,” the South Carolina writer.
Etta Lavinia Harvey, the daughter of a prominent local physician, Dr. Joseph Brantley Harvey, married Randolph Murdaugh Sr. on March 24, 1914. The couple had two children, Randolph “Buster” Murdaugh Jr. and John Glenn Murdaugh, before her death on Sept. 15, 1918. Randolph Sr. then married Estelle Marvin, who also preceded him in death in 1937.
Randolph Sr. would die in the summer of 1940 in a train-automobile accident that would make local and state headlines. He had remarried a third time, as his obituary states that he left behind a wife, Mary Murdaugh, but not much is known about her.
Gladys Marvin Murdaugh
Gladys Marvin Murdaugh was the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. William Horace Marvin and grew up at Mackey Point Plantation near Yemassee. A graduate of Columbia College, at the time a prestigious all-female college, Gladys married Randolph “Buster” Murdaugh Jr. on June 24, 1937, at Mackey Point Plantation.
According to her obituary in The Hampton County Guardian, Gladys was a well-read member of the Hampton-Varnville Book Club, an active member of the Varnville United Methodist Church and served as Treasurer of the United Methodist Women for more than 40 years.
The wife of one of the longest-serving solicitors in United States history was also an accredited National Flower Show Judge and charter member, vice president and later president of the Magnolia Garden Club of Varnville. Established in March 1952, the club qualified to join the state and national Federation of Garden Clubs on Jan. 12, 1953. Gladys would later celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the club with a tea at her home, an event that was noted in her hometown Guardian.
Crews’ parents considered the Murdaughs close family friends (his late mother, Betty Ruth Crews, was a historian and Hampton County icon in her own right) and he remembers Gladys well and fondly. Crews remembers her as an elegant, intelligent woman who took great pride in her flower garden and put her education in Home Economics (a popular major for women of that era) to good use. Crews and his family would often join Gladys at vegetable and fruit canning time.
The Hampton historian also recalls that every year, for Christmas, the Murdaugh law firm gave Gladys a new Cadillac as rent "payment" for use of a building she owned. Local stories add that, if anyone in the family needed anything or was in trouble, Momma Gladys was quick to jump in her new Caddy and go help them out—or straighten them out with some tough love, if that’s the treatment the Murdaugh men needed.
Gladys Murdaugh died on June 10, 1997, roughly a year before Buster died. Among her pallbearers were two circuit court judges.
Elizabeth "Libby" Jones Alexander Murdaugh
Elizabeth Jones Alexander Murdaugh, better known as Libby, married Randolph Murdaugh III on June 3, 1961. Like Gladys, Libby also came from a prominent, founding family of Hampton County, the Alexanders of Brunson. Libby was an honor student in primary and high schools and was also a 1961 Columbia College honor graduate who earned almost every academic honor available. She was a member of the Alpha Kappa Gamma national leadership fraternity, the Alpha Psi Omega national dramatics fraternity, a three-year officer in the USC Student Government, and was named to Who’s Who in American Colleges and Universities.
Even as she raised three sons and a daughter, Libby pursued a career in education. She worked as a teacher for 31 years, with most of that time spent teaching the middle school grades in Hampton County School District 1, and upon retirement pursued her own political career, serving multiple terms on the H.C. School District 1 Board of Trustees, including a term as chairperson of the board.
This political presence certainly didn’t hurt the Murdaugh dynasty or its law firm.
“Working at a school, you get to know every student, every family,” said Crews. “I’m sure there was no ulterior motive there, but it does help you keep your finger on the pulse of the community.”
Margaret "Maggie" Kennedy Branstetter Murdaugh
Margaret Kennedy Branstetter of Summerville met Richard “Alex” Murdaugh while they were students at the University of South Carolina. Better known as Maggie, she was a sorority girl, a member of Kappa Delta who stayed in touch with her sorority sisters for years after she graduated in 1991. They married Aug. 14, 1993, at Second Presbyterian Church in Charleston while Alex was still a law student at USC School of Law. After a honeymoon in Jamacia, the new Murdaugh couple remained in Columbia while he finished law school.
Maggie maintained the Murdaugh women’s tradition of social activity. She enjoyed entertaining her friends at the various Murdaugh homes. Her friends described her as a spontaneous person who would call them up at the spur of the moment to go shopping or attend events, and she was known as a “second mom” to many of her sons’ friends. Maggie, Alex, and their sons, Buster, and Paul, often enjoyed USC Gamecock sporting events and weekends spent at the Edisto beach house or on the river at “Murdaugh Island.”
Maggie was known for having a “heart of pure generosity” and for “welcoming friends and family into her home on any given occasion,” stated her obituary.
Unlike Libby and Gladys, Maggie’s resume did not include lengthy academic credentials or a rewarding career. But like Etta and Estelle, she, too, would know an early death.
On the night of June 7, 2021, Maggie was gunned down in a manner described as “execution style” at the family estate she was so proud of, Moselle, with her youngest son dying just a short distance away. She was only 52.
The deaths of Paul and Maggie Murdaugh have become an ongoing, international crime saga that will likely haunt the Murdaugh family and the S.C. Lowcountry for generations to come.
Photo of the ladies.

I have a friend who is getting married soon! Her family recently sent me an online invitation to a virtual bridal shower in which many others were also invited. I would love to support her, but I think it might be a little awkward to sit on Zoom for two hours watching her open gifts. Does anyone know the etiquette for this? Should I feel obligated to attend, given that the guest list is almost fifty people? Do I have to keep my camera on? Should I expect there to be games, or sponsored food delivery, or anything other than watching her open gifts? Should I dress up and put makeup on, as I would for an in-person bridal shower or Zoom interview?
Thanks all for your input!