So I decided to get a Great Pyrenees. My local shelter is full of pitbulls and quite a few of their dogs are "star of the show only" homes desired and most never around or not good with cats. I started with a rescue. I found a breed-specific one that had Pyrs and not really mixes of pit with them either. I applied to the rescue and chose two dogs that may have potentially been a good fit. The first dog I chose was not, as he isn't good with cats. The second one the screener had to go back and check if the dog was good with cats... turns out she wasn't and has serious issues with resource guarding. On all of their listings, the dogs are always listed as good with cats, dogs, and children.
The screener then called me and said they had a new intake, who would be a good fit. After three days of asking for pictures, she never sent one but said the foster would. They never did. I felt like I was being jerked around. She did send notes but they were hard to read. She ghosted me about any further information about this phantom dog.
A red flag is that if you look at this rescue's website, they have had one adoption out of all of their available dogs in six months. The rest are still in long-term foster care.
My final decision was to go with a reputable breeder. I was given ALL information on the parents, all fees and everything about the puppies. The breeder has been keeping me updated on the puppy and her vetting, and she will be coming here on May 20th. The transporter is a former vet tech and really safe with puppies. I feel no regrets in making this decision, and don't care if anyone judges me who is a save them all nutbag.
I chose to share here because all I see out of these rescues is animal hoarding and deceptive advertising of dogs with behavioral problems. I also feel that sometimes rescues are extremely discriminatory in their questions, and don't want to actually adopt some of their animals out except for Shit Pit Snuggly who bit a handler at the shelter and yet "enjoys getting pets from his friends", "no cats or kids", "dog reactive or selective", "guards his bones with his life yet loves his toys" and other constant bullshit. I can understand now why people choose a reputable breeder or are going the way of looking harder beyond the local shelter because it's the pits there.

Caveat that I am not saying this IS a comprehensive list yet, I just didn't find any source online that managed to capture everything I know so I'm putting what I know here in hopes that others will add to it and it gets put into a wiki or somewhere consolidated that looks prettier than this reddit post.
If there already is a list then please forgive and enlighten me.

• Cyclops: Breakable Parts; Tusks, Armor
  • Hitting their eye will enrage and "blind" them temporarily. I don't know what temporarily blinding them does except to be a spot of increased damage and pissing them off
  • knocking them over certain key terrain
    • bridges/ravines will make them reach out to the other side while keeping their feet propped up on the original side in a hilarious wannabe spiderman cyclops bridge formation.
    • near walls can have them hit their head and instantly topple them rather than just down to their knees
  • When they are on their knees you can grab their hands and pull them to knock them down prone
  • If they have a helmet on you can grab it while theyre prone and pull it off
  • Hitting their weapon hand will cause them to drop it, but eventually they will try to find it and pick it back up. i have tried many techniques to dispose of the weapon but have never successfully interacted with it on the ground
  • I have heard as the trickster if you place your clone on their face, they will bonk their own face. I have not confirmed this.
  • This isn't a weakness and vulnerable spot post but because Cyclops' have a PARTICULAR weakness against electricity I feel like it's worth mentioning they get stunned much easier than other monsters due to their fleshy surface area I guess.
• Ogre Breakable Parts; Hands
  • They fixate on women and if a male is feminine appearing it will trick the ogre and they will become extra enraged when they find out a feminine appearing male is actually a dude. Not super sure if they become easier to enrage for the rest of the battle
  • You can break their hands. This takes a lot of damage and is kind of hard to justify over hitting their head. Supposedly this makes it easier to break out of their grip but i can't say I've definitely noticed a difference in battle when after I broke their hands
  • When they are curled up and covering their head like a jiu-jitsu turtle move you can grab their hands and pull them out of it. I assume this would prone them, but I've never gotten to their arms in enough time to actually finish pulling them out of it. They are stubborn.
  • GORE VERSION: I don't THINK it's any different. Just stronger and uglier
• Griffin Breakable Parts: None
  • Not much here except that they are super vulnerable to being set on fire which will knock them out of the sky
  • Maybe it's worth saying you can ride them to their nest if you want an extra method of really inconvenient faster travel
• Chimera Breakable Parts: Goat head, Lion Head, Snake head, Snake body(severed)
  • The last phase of this fight will be different depending on if you killed the Goat head or Lion head first. The last one alive will become a bit empowered and be extra annoying to deal with
  • You can cut the snake head off after you kill it. I don't know what the point is other than possibly an extra chance at grabbing a monster drop, but I've only ever gotten a measly beast skin from the snake part
  • After you kill either the goat or the lion it becomes SUPER easy to knock over. since it's out of balance
  • GORE VERSION: I don't believe you can cut off the tail, but silencing the Goat will prevent it from resurrecting the other heads
• Garm Breakable Parts: none
  • I got nothing. Big puppy
• Worg Breakable Parts: none
  • Also big puppy. Oh I forgot, I haven't confirmed it but they possible have the same inclination towards dropped meat or meat in your packs as wolves. See note below because that's when I remembered. I mix these two up a lot and honestly they are one of the rarest monsters for me.
• Minotaur Breakable Parts: Horns
  • You can break the horns obviously and trick it into ramming a wall which will stun them
  • I have tried to attack their weapon hand but I have never been able to get them to drop it
  • GORE VERSION: Like the ogre. No differences I've noticed other than stronger and uglier.
• Drakes Breakable Parts: Chest, Wings(slashed)
  • Obviously hitting the chest breaks open their heart cavity which reveals their only true weakpoint
  • Supposedly you can slash their wings. I've never done it but I imagine it would prevent them from flying away
  • They shit talk you and wanna cash you ouside
• Dragons Breakable Parts: All the boils and pus sacks.....gross
  • Not sure if the wings are also slash able
• Dullahan Breakable Parts: Just the flames of your own ambition
  • They will help you put your foolish ambitions to rest
  • They don't even give AF about the brine. They are immune to it and will write your meager attempt on your grave
  • Enough hits to the head will stagger it and put it on it's knees temporarily until it feels like it has given thee courtesy enough
  • If your strength befits a crown they still don't give AF because they wear two severed heads with crowns as a predator's battle trophy.
• Sphinx Breakable Parts: Consent
  • Don't touch her no-no zone. If you attack her human parts she doesn't like that and I think will immediately fly away to file a restraining order and won't show up again in your game. I figured out the clues to hit her beast half so I'm not sure EXACTLY the repercussions since I am also a big fan of enthusiastic consent.
  • She doesn't mind rides though so you can ride her from her first location to her second if you can act fast enough to grab on.
• Liches and Wights: Breakable parts, none.
  • Straightforward fight. Did not notice any unique interactions or mechanics. One of them said something about interrupting him and how dare I (in the waterfall cave I believe) The others weren't as conversationalist as that one for me, Sad.

Small enemies I won't do an individual breakdown for each one but

• If you kill the biggest most leaderist looking hobgoblin the others will supposedly scatter. I'm either too busy looking for my life alert because i cant get up while getting curb stomped by Mad Max's Mordor little league team or too busy thinking about how much I dislike sand as I wipe out every last one of them to notice their behavior change all that much
• Oil oozes combust with fire, Other oozes freeze super easy and make them vulnerable to physical attacks
• You can grab onto harpies and sort of kind of steer them after you give up pointing at a 4 foot cliff with a 3 foot jump to your Patrick faced pawn with springboard for the 234th time.
• Wolves will be attracted to whoever has the most meat in their packs and will be distracted by dropped meat
• Saurians: Tails obviously. I have tried to see if there was any differencce in spawn time if I burned and destroyed all the eggs in a cave. I don't think there is but have not confirmed.
• Phantasms, ghosts, and such: They are attracted to your lantern light but not as much as my ice volley shot is attracted to them. Fie upon them and their bullshit guerilla warfare.
• Bandits: I have never tried carrying one into jail but let me know if any of you pull this off and if it was worth it.

That's all I got. Let me know if Im missing anything or if got anything wrong or if I completely wasted my time here and this already exists but better and prettier somewhere else.
Edits from other comments:
-Magma slimes can be cooled and hardened by water. -if slimes die with you inside they'll fill your oil lantern up a bit

• confirmed garm and warg have the same behavior as wolves with meat

-Anodyne/holy magic underneath Liches and wights will stun them. -They may also resurrect corpses of other large monsters that are then weak to the same since they're undead now
-I totally forgot about golems, lol. When they are "decompressing or going into cool down mode you can topple then and they will become headless although their head will still shoot lasers. But now you can point that laser by moving the head around with grab
-one of the ghost things(specters maybe) can mind control you or your pawns which can be healed with anodyne
-drakes can be toppled while they are trying to mind control your pawn but you have to be quick about pushing their legs as soon as they rear up

AITA for grooming my wife's dog as a joke?
My wife and I had two dogs. Unfortunately they both passed away last year. They were medium sized dogs and not so active any more.
While I was sad to see them go I was ready for a life without dogs. My wife on the other hand wanted a dog.
We found a small dog that fit our current lifestyle. She is small and needs very little exercise. Our daily walks and games are plenty.
She is a very pretty dog even though she has these weird crests if fur that stick out an inch and a half on both sides of her neck.
She looks like she borrowed a pitbull neck. I like to joke with my wife that I'm going to trim the fur so we have a normal looking dog. She keeps telling me to leave her dog alone.
Yesterday my wife was out and I was home alone with the puppy. She got into the garden while I was working and rolled in the manure. She needed a bath.
Before I bathed her I took a little bit of gel and brushed the fur back so it looked like a normal neck. Then I sent my wife a picture and said that was much better.
There were threats made. She came home angry to find a happy and clean puppy with all her fur. Now my wife is mad because she thought I actually cut the fur. I don't think it's so egregious that she should be upset.

AITA for grooming my wife's dog as a joke?
My wife and I had two dogs. Unfortunately they both passed away last year. They were medium sized dogs and not so active any more.
While I was sad to see them go I was ready for a life without dogs. My wife on the other hand wanted a dog.
We found a small dog that fit our current lifestyle. She is small and needs very little exercise. Our daily walks and games are plenty.
She is a very pretty dog even though she has these weird crests if fur that stick out an inch and a half on both sides of her neck.
She looks like she borrowed a pitbull neck. I like to joke with my wife that I'm going to trim the fur so we have a normal looking dog. She keeps telling me to leave her dog alone.
Yesterday my wife was out and I was home alone with the puppy. She got into the garden while I was working and rolled in the manure. She needed a bath.
Before I bathed her I took a little bit of gel and brushed the fur back so it looked like a normal neck. Then I sent my wife a picture and said that was much better.
There were threats made. She came home angry to find a happy and clean puppy with all her fur. Now my wife is mad because she thought I actually cut the fur. I don't think it's so egregious that she should be upset.

I'm at my wits end with my situation. So I just adopted a pup about 3 weeks ago and she just turned 1 yesterday. She's a corgi mix. My "OG" dog has been with me for almost a year and a half and she turns 2 in July.
Here's a little back story on my "OG" dog, Lilee (sounds like Lily). I got her from an old boss of mine. Her 13 yo daughter was fully responsible for Lilee and she never took care of her. Before I got her, she was never on a leash, never taken outside to go to the bathroom, and was free fed with a 12 year old boxer. They had her from when she was 5 or 6 weeks old until they gave her to me at 6months old. Needless to say I had my work cut out for me when I got her. Now she's mostly well behaved lol and she's pretty well trained for me having no idea how to train a dog at that time.
I have no background history on my new pup, Fiona. All I was told was that she was returned once because the old lady who adopted her was allergic and didn't know it. And she also was in a foster home with 3 or 4 other dogs (the fosters also went to bed at 8:30pm and 4:30am). They never mentioned any behavioral issues at all.
As stated previously, I've had Fiona for 3 weeks now. I think I've seen almost all her behaviors and quirks and all that. She eats ANYTHING she can pick up off the ground while outside on walks. She will chew on her leash and harness and Lilee's if I'm not watching her like a hawk (I live in an apartment and I don't have a place to put their things except on the couch right next to me). She will chew on and eat everything she can unless I'm watching her. Honestly I have no issues with this. I understand this is puppy behavior and can be corrected and a "anti-grazing" muzzle can be used outside on walks until the behavior is fixed. I asked about if she had those issues and I just got "oh yeah she loves chew toys" 🙄 Well Lilee loves to have zoomies usually once a day or less depending on how many walks we take. She had a little spurt of energy after coming in from a walk with Fiona. Fiona hated it and tried to go after Lilee. If I didn't immediately step in, there was more than likely going to be a fight. Ever since then, Fiona will not let Lilee run or play without trying to bite her. Yesterday even, I got them in the car and we went to my boyfriend's grandma's house (she has a really big backyard) because I wanted to see how they would be in a car together (they were separated, but still knew each other were there) and see if playing in a big backyard would change anything. The car was perfect, but in the backyard, Lilee once again had zoomies and this time Fiona looked like she was going to seriously injure Lilee if she got a hold of her.
I don't understand and I'm so tired of the stress. I've been trying to correct the behavior, but nothing seems to be working. I'm seriously considering giving her back to the rescue because I don't want to risk Lilee's safety.

Please comment below before sending a message! Happy to provide additional photos, videos, or answer any questions you have about the items for sale.
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PROOF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Silver Proof Sets- PHOTOS HERE

• 2001 - 2008 with some holes in the years. Full 10 coin sets with 2008 having an additional (4) $1 coins. $1.85 in 90% silver in each set
• $39.50 for each set (21.5x face plus ~approx face value for the clad coinage), 2008 set is $42
• Sets available
  • 2000, 2001, 2002, 2004 x2, 2005 x2, 2006, 2008
• Whale Option: BIN all Silver Sets for $350 and get the 2004 and 2005 clad sets free! ($10 value or so) ALL SOLD!

Premium Silver Rounds and Coins (any coin in capsule will come that way, otherwise shipped in flips) PHOTOS HERE

• Vintage US Silver Corp 1 oz Easter Bar. Super crisp!
  • $30
• Sunshine Minting Half Ounce Eagle
  • $15
• 2015 ASE Apmex TEP
  • $32
• 2022 Pirates of the Caribbean Silent Mary
  • $32
• 2019 ASE with black ruthenium and gold overlay. Swapped into a nicer square capsule, looks so good can get fresh pics if you'd like! No special packaging unfortunately
  • $42

Constitutional 90%, Junk silver, and Canadian foreign at melt

• $9.50 in mixed barber halves. Variety of dates and mintage. Some are on the border honestly, but i'll let you be the judge.
  • 22x Face = $209
• $18 in Peace Dollars. Some good dates and variety here PICS
  • $28.50 each for 1-9
  • 10+ for $28 each
• $7 in Morgan dollars. Mostly crispy 1921s, one scratched up with some faint graffiti?, and a single nice 1879 PICS
  • Nicer 1921s = $31 each
  • Scratched obverse 1921 = $29
  • 1879 P = $34
• $2.75 in 80% Canadian silver dimes and quarters
  • melt is 16.8x, asking 16x face (BONUS free 50% dime)
  • $44

Shipping $5 for USPS Ground up to 8 ounces, $10 shipping for priority unless otherwise stated above. Can also ship UPS at quote if desired. Insurance available for extra!
Thanks for checking out the sale!

First Issue!

• Author's Note: Hello! Yes I am not dead, yet! And so we march on with the series! I still have more college work to do until I'm done, but we're getting near that. Also I'd like to officially say that Issue #61 can be considered as an official end OF a BOOK 1 for Beast World. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!! I SAID end of book 1 NOT the series! We shall continue on, soon enough. So, relax, enjoy the read and if you like what you see, you can support me on my ko-fi page! This is also where I post art drawn by me of various characters from Beast World or other series or one shots I write!

The night before Michael's departure was one of various mixed emotions, that melded into a concoction of both cheer and anxiousness. The human and his tribe of tuskir would share food as they aided their newest member in his preparations.
Woh and Oinna worked carefully together to prepare several vials of poison, diluted with water, as well as a few herbal medicines.
Zurra and Azhul would work the forge, daughter and mother stoking the fires of their smithy's hearth to finish up a steel knuckle duster that the older woman had been preparing to forge from before. After replacing the metal rods on his leather bracers with steel and studding the leather for extra reinforcement, the two put forward their creations for Michael to dawn, to which he was greatful.
Urla and Runhar would share more of what they know about the Rock Backs or what to expect of their leader, but the discussions from before already covered most of that information.
After all that could be done had been finished, a fresh leather backpack of supplies was provided to the human with a few extra tools, besides his own belongings, and then all that remained to do was for them to steel themselves.
Maybe not everyone realized the implications of this separating venture, but one knot that could build in their throats would be at the realization that their newest tribe member was about to leave and depending on how things would fare... he might come back unharmed and with stories plentiful in detail of what happened, he might not return to them at all or, at worst... he'd be befallen by a fate they'd not know of.
A final meal together was being held, most of the people of the tribe awake, decided to remain as such and hold out this white night with Michael, waiting with a discomfort that was palpable in the air. As the time of reckoning was slowly coming upon them, the relaxed attitudes of all involved began to stifle and die down.
Vodra and Nushii were situated closest by him, the latter curled up in a half asleep ball next to Michael, rather than sitting. Runhar, Ghura and Azhul, sat further to his sides, their sitting positions, curving around the fire they all encircled, with Oinna, Zurra and Urla being on the other side of the slowly dying flame. And of course, Woh, unlikely to leave herself out from this gathered vigil, was sat atop Michael's hair, camouflaged partially by his thickened curly locks. Nobody knew what to say, there was nothing easy to bring up, but doubt and uneasiness in one's heart might lead them to speak their mind, out of a compassionate worry.
Zurra was the one bearing a heavy seed of doubt and fear in her breast. As she held tightly onto a metal mug full of steaming broth, she took a brief sip of it as her gaze lifted to look at the grouping around the fire. "We certain this be the correct choice? We coulda 'bandon de Hay-yen group, the whol' allyin' with 'em plan... it is too risky to... well, to do this!" The elderly sow spoke, her voice not showing her usual furious anger derived from passion, but instead upset, born of frustration, fear and uncertainty.
"It might be, but I want to do it. I've been thinking why am I doing this to basically save a group of people with whom we were basically at war a month ago. Their upbringing by their leading shaman and elders is not an excuse for their actions, but wouldn't it be nice to get them a chance? A chance that they are also willing to take, even if they feel skeptical about our intentions and us about their?" Michael looked at Nushii who slept and then exchanged a glance with Vodra who gave a slow nod and blink back.
"Bah! These two's exceptions an' ya kno' that." Zurra said as she then sat her mug down on a crate forcefully, spilling a bit of the contents.
"There ain' no point in arguin'. The deal was struck an' backin' out now will jus' give us headaches with the Rock Backs." Gharna said with a snort which vocalized better than any words that she wasn't thrilled either about this.
"Aye, ma'. Ya kno' already when he makes up 'is mind ta do somethin' he sticks to it worse than blood stains on cloth. Heh... same type-a stubborness that got 'im stuck fer hours keepin' yer forge stoked." Azhul added with a chuckle as she looked at her mother than at Michael, who smiled and laughed with a tired tone.
"Even if we don' like it, we have already all agreed to help make this happen. Otherwise I don' think we'd have put the efforts we did towards preparin' Michael fer da trip." Runhar interjected as well as he sipped his own broth from a bowl.
As the consensus from before had been reaffirmed verbally, the group had fallen quiet once more, in a silence that showed the stewing emotions that bubbled below it. Michael felt it too, he knew what these situations were like from having to deal with them with his own family.
"Well, while I'm gone, hopefully not long, I thought it would be good to get some things done, even if not everything gets finished, I'm thinking that we should keep to a... hm... how to word this? A time line?" The human said uncertain on how to properly put his thoughts in words. Certainly would seem unlike him to struggle with this, but only when his guard was down. In this moment there was no immediate threat, so he was as true to the real him as he could be.
"Oh? Afraid things will stagnate while you are gone due to some of us being uncertain of the situation? Although I certainly appreciate yer concern, none shall remain still while I am here. What have you been thinking of?" Urla asked from her seated position, her inquisitive questioning being as cold as her usual tone.
"Well. I believe there's two things that are need to get done. Integrating the remaining Hay-yen and starting up with trading goods. We still have hos-... injured refugees that are being treated, due to their... shakey condition, right? We need to see that they can adapt to their situation like Nushii and Vodra did. Maintain aid and contact with the Hay-yen settlement, I think this would be best done by working together on things you and they need, maybe repairs and expanding a bit." Michael would say certain of his thoughts on the matter.
"I wasn't going to wait for you to ask, but we'll try to help with that as well. I believe it will be... emboldening to see us work along Tuskir for the others." Vodra said while looking at Nushii. Soon after she'd meet Michael's gaze, with a glint of important purpose in them. "And hence we know not what happened with the old shaman, we could also focus on geting a better grasp on that, as well, since we've been discussing about it."
Michael nodded in agreement, his expression showing that he was pleased with Vodra's additions to his points.
Urla would nod as she listened before clearing her throat. "I see the point. We'll be doing our best here, so make sure you return to us in one piece. That is an order from me to you, as your den mother, Michael." The old sow spoke with utmost seriousness in her tone.
"Understood, Elder Urla." He replied with a cheeky tone, a faint smirk creeping up on his lips.
Soon after the human's reply, the slow steps of Yenna approaching could be herd in the crisp silence of the night. The young Tuskir moved with stuttered and tired steps as he came about closer, holding Michael's phone in one hand and a carving of wood in the other.
"Got your fill of references?" Michael asked with a soft smile as Yenna handed him his phone, tucking it into his leather backpack.
"Aye, but tis ain't based on 'em... keepin' those in me workshop. Drew a few sketches in coal based on 'em, too." The young tuskir said with a tired huff. He then held up the tiny wooden statue that depicted an elderly scars covered tuskir, with a billowing cloak and two handaxes.
Michael looked at it as his heart knotted with a renewed sorrowful melancholy. He held up his hand as his expression asked wordlessly if he could hold it to which Yenna handed it. The human looked at it closely. The carved tuskir struck a pose of on guard and ready to attack, the expression although hard to read for Michael, the eyes were shown with a guardian's battle focus carved into them.
"It looks just like the old man... you have an amazing hand Yenna." Michael said while looking the statue of Spek from all angles possible. Unknown if by accident or if by unconcious choice, Michael ran his digits under the statue's base, feeling it to have been carved up.
Turning it upside down he glanced at carved letters in the Tuskir's written tongue, which to him looked akin to unreadable scratches. Before he could even ask about their meaning Yenna spoke, almost solemnly.
"Tough Hide Spek, The Forever Guardian." The young tuskir said as he sniffled while seating himself near Michael.
"Looks like a good piece, brother." Gharna said from the side with a soft proudness to her voice.
"Indeed. Where are you thinking of putting it?" Michael confirmed his own feelings of admiration towards the small sculpture.
"Thought ya could hold onto it, a reminder o' us fer while yer gone. I was useless in that fight, hidin' with the younger piglets an' guardin' 'em... actin' as if it got to it I could protect them... while you all were layin' yer lives down, fightin'. This is the only thing I'm good at... you were close to 'im so I thought it would be only natural that he look over ya for us." Yenna said with a pain of his own in his words as he verbally flagellated himself over his helplessness.
"Yenna. Don't be harsh on yourself, everyone's got their talents. Yours will be most important." Michael then stood up in a very official manner and he put a hand on the young tuskir's shoulder. "You'll actually make yourself invaluable. You'll be pretty much carving all the handles for the steel peelers we will be selling. And to make the sales go better I recommend making them with engraved designs in the wood or even carving random names into them, since some people love buying stuff like that."
At that point Yenna looked back at Michael, the previous glint of emotionally charged energy dissapearing from his gaze while the unhearable echo of a mute glass crack seemed to make the young tuskir wince. "I'll be what?!"
"Yes." Michael said with a small proud smile as he nodded and patted Yenna on the back.
Gharna couldn't help herself, so she let out snorts, chuckles and short squeals as she giggled. "W-well hah! Ahem... pft... blood brother, you always did say you liked to carve things daintier than plain handaxes..." she added in a teasing tone.
"By the Hunt Father, that sucks for ya Yen-yen." Azhul said trying and succeeding a bit better at masking her chuckles. Still, the large tuskir woman's giggles would be interrupted by a slap on her furred nape from her own mother who seemed to hear her. "AGH! What was that fer?!"
"Who do ya fink is gon' be makin' the blades?" The older buff sow asked while looking at her daughter with mild dissapointment.
Azhul took half a minute longer than she should have to spit out an answer. "Us?" She said while Zurra stared at her with mild dissapointment, giving a single solemn confirming nod. "Oh-... ohhh.... Uughhhhhh... us..." she said with a premptively exhausted tone, as she came to this realization, with a deflating snort and groan while facepalming.
Azhul's reaction managed to rip chuckles and hearty laughs from most of those around, Michael laughing hard enough to nearly keel over from it. As the human took a moment to calm down, the corner of his eye would be greeted by the first wisps of light presenting themselves on the horizon. The moment he saw them, his jovial laugh seemed to drop, his eyes looking at the slowly crawling rays of light as if they were telling him something.
"Well... it seems like my time has expired. I'll... uhm... check my shack once over and make sure I didn't forget anything." The human said as he took a glance into his leathet backpack and then slung it over his shoulders.
"Ah-... alright. We'll start cleaning up here and when we're all done, we'll see you at the gate." Runhar said as he finished his broth, his tone betraying his own insecurities despite supporting this final plan.
Michael nodded back to the captain before taking a few moments to grasp a half asleep Woh and untangle her from the curls at the top of his head. Although he tried not to wake her, the amphoran woke up blinking lazily one eye at a time before her gaze focused on Michael's face.
"Aaagh~... is the borin' talking done, yet?" She asked while stretching relaxed inbetween Michael's digits, then groaning and going limp much like a sibling would when carried by the older one.
"Yeah. And I'm also preparing to leave. Sun's about to come up so I need to get to the Rock Backs." The human replied with a chuckle at the display before leaning down to set Woh on the seat he previously occupied.
The little amphibian humanoid held onto his digits as if to protest the release. "You promise yer comin' back, ye? I've got years o' hugs and cuddle naps I gotta make up for and I'm needin' ya for that." She said while slowly letting go and curling up on the seat, her gullet inflating as she croaked with exhaustion.
"Mhm. Don't worry. I'll come back and that's a promise I intend to keep." Michael said giving Woh a few scritches onto her back, at which the amphoran let a few low and quick croaks akin to a cat's pur.
"Good... an-... don't take too long... otherwise I'm latchin' myself to your face and never letting go, kero..." Woh said while struggling to stay awake, her conciousness fading as she'd doze off.
Michael smile as he laughed silently responding with a nod before making his way to the shack he called a home for the past while. Inside the ex-storage hut, he'd give the place one final cursory glance, making sure to pack a few clothes he nearly forgot thrown about. Once that was done with, as he was about to turn and exit, the door would creak behind him.
Vodra, together with a half awake Nushii, waltzed in slowly. Michael, unsurprised, would turn and smile as he rubbed one of his eyes. "Eh? Going to sleep already? And here I thought you'd see me off at the gate."
"Nushii's about to keel over asleep again, so I thought it'd be good if she was at least in our beds. I for one am not a fan of things such as seeing someone off in a group." Vodra said while leaning against a creaky wooden wall.
Nushii would stumble a bit before flopping herself onto Michael, who, despite being startled, manages to hold himself and the half asleep Hay-yen up. "Why ya need to go? Who are we going to listen to music with as we sleep, eh? Screw the others... my cousin is a doo doo head anyways..." she mumbled and groaned while nuzzling her head into Michael's hair while closing her half open tired eyes.
"Ay... don't say that. Sigh... I know what it is like to have toxic family members... there's no excuse for the things they did, but that doesn't mean some of them can change, ya know? She was really fired up back at camp. She at least seems to want to have you around. Give it a go and see how you feel about it, then decide if YOU want her in your life, ok?" Michael would say while scratching one of Nushii's ears with a hand and petting her shoulder with the other. "Also... please get off... I feel like my bacl or my knees will give out... p-please." He groaned.
Nushii would let out an affirmative yawned yap like noise, although hard to tell what exactly she was agreeing to. She'd push herself off of Michael and then flop onto one of the beds, sniffing about and crawling her way into a curled up position, smack in the middle of Michael's bed.
The human giggled at the sight as he began making his way to the door, where Vodra stood leaned against the wall. "I uhm... wanted to thank you... for everything." He'd say looking at Vodra as he whispered his words.
"Thank me? I should be the one doing that." Vodra replied in the same low tone.
"Well... I wanted to thank you for all the help you've given around, for trusting me, for co-operating in the beginning... for not slitting my throat in my sleep once you two were out of holding, heh." Michael said with a clearly jesting tone towards the end.
Vodra listened silently as her ears would lower, her head turning to look at him. "I see. I feel like I am the one that owes you... thinking about it... it sounds foolish, but getting taken hostage was the best thing that happened to me. Before that I found myself not really caring about much... I just wanted to do what I had to do and sleep... because at least when I was asleep I didn't feel miserable. Now... I'm actually relatively eager to see what I'm doing when I'm awake."
The Hay-yen woman took a moment to glance at Nushii, who had settled in and appeared to be asleep, as she then gazed back at the human and with a rather stiff and awkward motion she's lean forward her massive and hunched frame, pressing her forehead against the side of his face and her snout into his neck. "When we talked about The Devourer... before that... I never even considered if it was not true or fake or at least... not my truth... not what I wanted to believe in. I just accepted it and resigned myself to the fate I was preached to end up with... if not for you... I'd still see each day as a bleak and empty moment of a pointless existence." Vodra said as small whines escaped at times between her words, a wetness taking to her eyes, that Michael felt against the side of his face.
The human would acknowledge Vodra's subtle burst of emotions by wrapping an around her neck, rubbing the top of her head between the ears. "I struggled with something like that to... the feeling of living for no reason only to know you'll die and that the end might be horrible. The faith of my specific tribe of people back home preached of their beliefs in a bleak and depressing manner, too. I hated it and 'cause of it... I still fear death now, but I've been getting better, you will too. No true Gods would want their mortal children to be miserable, instead they'd want them to learn to live satisfied and enlightened lives and... if there's no Gods that await us when it is all done... at least we know we lived in a good honest way, that we deemed fit and that made us happy."
Vodra didn't reply as she shook lightly against Michael, instead listening content. She'd pull her head back to look at the human, half his face covered in a mix of stray fur hairs mixed with a wetness produced by her tears. As if by instinct she'd give his mug a few licks to clean up the mess before pulling back. "Well... y-yeah. That's what I'm thankful for." She'd say as her usual collected self would start showing again. "Now, get going. Don't want those Rock Backs to go back on their deal 'cause you're arriving late. I need to catch a bit of rest anyways..." The Hay-yen would say as she went past Michael and then curled up on her own bed.
"Sleep well." The human replied as one last faint smile rested upon his lips as he exited the hut, the door creaking as he left.
His lonesome steps made the mix of grass and dirt bemeath his boots to crackle and slosh as he walked. Still, Michael didn't hear them as his mind thought of the situation that was awaiting him. Nobody he could trust would be by his side, he'd have to fake his true self for the purpose of apperances and maintaing their ruse.
'Heh... and here I thought I'd never be the type of person to pretend to be someone he isn't, for the sake of gaining something. Sigh... there's a first for everything, I guess. I said the same thing when I was younger about smoking, yet I fell into that myself. Eeeeh... I could go for a smoke... if I had any left.' Michael thought as he then bumped into something akin to a soft pillar.
Taking half a second to recover from his broken focus, Michael looked at the obstacle he bumped, quickly realizing it was actually Azhul. Confused, his mind quickly came to a possible conclusion to her sudden appearance near his old hut. "Oh- Sorry for taking a moment longer to linger! Was saying goodnight to Vodra and Nushii. Took a second longer than I thought."
"Heh. Aye, yer spot on an' no worries. I just wondered if yer reconsidering this whol' thing. Wouldn't blame ya if you just wanted us to fight it out wif the Rock Backs. It'd make things easier honestly." The large young sow said with a clearly jovial tone, albeit with a tinge of exhaustion to it.
"Heh. I couldn't ask that of you all. We barely made it through that ordeal and not without paying hefty prices... all of us." Michael said in a easy tone that tried and failed to hide a bitterness he still held in himself.
"... Michael. Spek wouldn't blame ya fer his death, truly... Ya kno' that, right?" Azhul said in a softened tone as her ears flopped slightly, a small huff leaving her flat snout.
"I know. I discussed this before. I just... it's not wether he blames me or not... it is wether I can stop blaming myself for it." Michael said with a strained face, his expression seeming to tense, his nostrils flared as he pressed his lips together tight, his eyes shining from the moon light with the glaze of tears that coated them, still and unshed. "So, I'll do my best to care for you all... like Spek would have."
Azhul looked Michael in the eye and after he took a moment to release the tension in his body, the large Tuskir woman, went on to wrap her arms around him and embrace him. He'd pull the human's head into her chest as a three fingered hand grasped his back, the other resting onto the crest of his head.
"Eh?! Azhul?! Didn't you say this is somethi-" Michael yelped muffled from the embrance, his previous sombre mood entirely changing, simply from how sudden the hug yhay enveloped him was.
"Aye. Somethin' ya don' just do with anyone, for tuskir that is. Ya hoomans do it for multiple reasons, ain't that about right? Consoling someone, sounds about right as one o' 'em." The built sow said while slightly tensing her arms around him, as if afraid he'll slip from her grasp. She rested her head on top of his, taking a second to sniff his hair lightly.
"Ah-... yeah... that'd be a reason. Heh... thank you... this... does help." Michael said as he wrapped his own arms around the tuskir woman, although unable to fully wrap them around her.
Azhul huffed repeatedly quick and short as her flat nose nuzzled into Michael's curls, before she looked up, staring at the starry sky while still holding him. "Oi. Ya make sure you come back in one piece, ya hear? And don' go dying, getting nabbed, fallin' fer some ditzy nobody's schemes or anythin' that'll keep ya from coming back to... to... to us, ye?"
"Heh. Don't worry. I'll make sure as soon as I'm done there, I'm coming back ASAP... ah... you'd not know what 'ASAP' means..." Michael said from the hug with an awkward laugh.
"Eh. Presume it's some word that's supposed to mean that you'll come quick or as soon as possible. So don' worry. I getcha." Azhul said as she seemed to take a few moments longer before letting go of Michael, the hand that wrapped to the human's back, now lagged behind a moment longer before letting go with a twitch in the tuskir woman's digits.
Michael realizing it wasn't the time to explain acronyms, nodded as she smiled with a relaxed exhale. "Yeah. Just about that. Well. Let's go then. Don' wanna make the others have second thoughts as well." He'd say while starting to walk in the direction of the gate. Still, Michael stopped immediately as he noticed Azhul was still turned back and unmoving. "Ah... you're not coming?"
The large sow seemed frozen for a few moments, her previous hand still semi outstretched forward, as if reaching for something in the air. After her digits twitched once more and a louder sligtly snotty sounding huff escaped her flat nose, Azhul stretched and let out a yawn. "Ah-... w-well... huff ...I already said my piece. Gonna go ahead an' get some sleep." She replied as she then began heading in the opposing direction at a slow pace.
"Oh, right. Rest well and take care! I'll miss ya and your mother! Hope we can forge more stuff together when I'm back!" Michael replied with his spirits properly uplifted.
Azhul staggered her steps at his words, as if from exhaustion. "... C-Can't wait. Come back already." She said as she waved with the back of her hand, still going her way to rest.
Michael nodded despite knowing she couldn't see him as he then headed to the gate. There more words, encouragements and goodbyes were exchanged by all members of the tribe to their departing pink member. After a last awkward moment of half muttered sentences, Runhar had the gates opened, Michael stepping out towards the darkened forest.
Before he got too far and the rest of his tribe closed up their little safe haven, the human turned to them and in the dim light of the few torches around, he said: "I'll miss you all! See you soon!"
From there his departure felt as quick as the wind, as his form faded into the black nothingness of the forest at night. All of a sudden, the time this stranger turned friend spent in this little settlement, in the middle of nowhere, felt a little shorter than before, but not any less important to all involved.

5/10 with a $20 mandatory straddle. 8 players. About $3,000 effective.
I get dealt AKs on Button.
Cutoff opens with $50. I raise to $150.
Folds to Cutoff who calls. Flop is AhKh7s
Villain checks and I bet $150. Villain calls. Pot now $630.
Turn is 10d. Villain checks, I bet $300. Villain calls. Pot is now $1,230.
River a total blank, 2c.
So, its Ah, Kh,10d, 7s, 2c. Villain checks. I bet half pot, $600, for value. Villain tanks and starts clipping his nails while he is tanking, which is vile.
Villain then jams his entire stack, making it about $2,100 to call. I have top 2 pair and only lose to JQ or sets.
While I'm tanking, villain then pulls out a Pitbull pro head shaver and starts shaving his head. What the actual fuck? He then combines his hair clipping in a little petri dish with his toenail clippings, uses some looking sharp edge from up his sleeve to cut himself, and puts a few drops of blood in the dish. He mixes it together and blows the mixture onto his cards. I am fucking speechless. I call the floor, but they look at the top of his cards and say they are clean, and they give him a warning not to do it again.I want to throw up, but what can I do. I am frazzled. I call to get it over with. Villain flips over is cards: AsKs and stares at me with a soulless black-toothed grin. I flip over my cards... 6d3h. I am shellshocked. My cards have some hair on the back of them and a sticky substance.
I get stacked and am so upset at this point. I need to hold someone, so I leave and pick up my husbandfrom his home game to tell him what happened because I am beside myself. One of his buddies at the game calls me a whore when I show up.
Worst day of my life.

Quick background: I’m a souls veteran having played all of the FromSoft games and a bunch of soulslikes. I played LOTF like I play FromSoft games which is a dexterity/strength build with a medium sized sword (shoutout Fitzroy). I just played finished the game on PS5 having only played after the 1.5 update. Here’s what I think.
Pros - The lantern. This is such a cool mechanic. I love the horror aspect it added to the game in the Umbral world design and also when you would peek into Umbral and there’s an enemy right in front of you coming at you all of a sudden. I will admit the lantern tutorials were a bit much in the beginning but once I figured everything out and started soul flaying I loved it.

• Further with the lantern is just how there’s two worlds on top of each other and being able to switch between them is crazy to see from a non-AAA game studio. Minor performance issues persist on PS5 but I think it’s impressive how they pulled this off.
  
• I really liked the general aesthetic of the game from the world design, armor and weapons. I really liked the armor variety and being able to change the color of your armor.
  
• Weapon and armor variety from gameplay/attribute standpoint was very good too I thought. I really liked how they incorporated the crossbow into the gameplay.
  
• Something minor but I really enjoyed kicking people off a ledge 300 style. Yanking people with a soul flay as well.
  

Mixed - Level design. I just wanted to mention I thought the level design was good with plenty of exploring to do with non-linear areas but this also had me overwhelmed at times when I would switch to Umbral and had mobs chasing me I would get disoriented.

• I did like being able to plant a seed for a checkpoint but not sure if I prefer it over the old-fashioned way.

Cons - Mob density, especially bad in Umbral. Beating a dead horse here I think with this and some more complaints below.

• Enemy variety is lacking. As if the fodder enemies weren’t annoying enough in Umbral, it’s the same boring gray zombies for the entire game. I rolled my eyes every time I fought a boss and then immediately after I’m fighting them again as a common enemy (among other mob enemies overwhelming you to make matters worse).
  
• Bosses aren’t great. I can’t believe they used arguably the best boss in the game as the first legit boss you fight (Pieta). The last boss was also a joke for the radiance ending, but I did enjoy the Sundered Monarch right before it.
  
• As far as boss difficulty, there were some points where getting to the boss was harder than the boss itself, which is not a good thing. This may have been how early FromSoft games were but I expect better nowadays.
  
• I absolutely hate the “mimics” in this game. After I looked up how to tell the difference they didn’t get me many more times, but I did not like them at all. At least in Dark Souls you’re able to fight the mimic and still get an item but in this game they just drain you and drop you in Umbral providing only annoyance.
  
• A minor annoyance is the fact that I have to run over and pick up the souls after killing an enemy. This became less annoying when I realized I can grab them with the lantern from afar but I did not realize this until late game.
  
• Another minor criticism is the item descriptions. An interesting idea but why do I need to level a certain stat to read certain item descriptions? I don’t use magic so I missed out on half of the item descriptions it felt like.
  

EDIT: I wanted to summarize that overall I enjoyed the game. While I was annoyed more often than I would like, I couldn’t put the game down. I bought the game on sale and was satisfied with my purchase. There’s plenty of content in this game to justify paying full price, but disappointing bosses and the other complaints made me happy I got it on sale.

I have a 5 (ish) month old mixed breed pup. Likely a pitbull and Shepard mix, that I adopted from an organization over a month ago.
I had the puppy blues hard even seriously considered returning her because she was displaying some serious reactivity behaviors. My mental and emotional state was really bad. I was terrified I’d have a 50 pound adult dog that I couldn’t take anywhere, and one would grow to become aggressive.
I’m so glad I waited.
A friend put me in touch with a private trainer who explained to my human brain how her doggy brain learns and develops. The trainer took me through the “engage / disengage” game and explained how to reward my puppy for noticing something unusual and then later also rewarding her for looking away from the unusual thing towards me!
I was doing this with her previously, but I had it all wrong. I tried hard to get my puppy to look right at me when she saw her triggers (mainly other dogs) which meant when she didn’t look at me it gave me anxiety, which I’m sure my puppy picked up on, and got more suspicious and triggered.
We’ve been playing the game on walks correctly for just 3 days and it’s made a HUGE difference. Dogs across the street are mostly normal now and she has more normal body language and is able to keep moving! She used to freeze and hard core stare and occasionally bark and charge.
Anyway, I’m just amazed at how quickly her brain has associated dogs in the neighborhood with something positive. I’m super impressed.
She still has a pretty big reaction to children which has me worried but seeing how much of a difference repatterining her behavior to other dogs has made, I feel less freaked out about her future. I live in an urban area with tons of dogs and people so we really need to work hard to ensure she is a balanced dog.
The trainer also showed me ways to build slowly and try the different pattern games in different environments.
If you’re struggling with reactivity I really highly recommend some private in home lessons. It will be really helpful for you , the human, to be able to understand what the goal of these exercises is!
I know we have a long road ahead because she’s just naturally suspicious but I feel less emotional about her being reactive now.
Big win for us and I wanted to share with anyone going through it.

Introduction:

Hi everybody. Its me again. Now that Finals are over for me, I am able to participate a bit more for the next couple of months now. And a good thing too, because i really wanted to participate in this month's competition. Specifically, I latched onto the "No/Unique Ultimate" prompt, as I built an Udyr-esque champion about 2 years ago (Side Note: Damn, that was 2 years ago?? I was just starting college and now I am halfway through my degree. Man, time flies!), and it fit this prompt perfectly. This is the link to the original post, as I will be tweaking a lot of things, given how Items and Runes have changed significantly since then. and I will have tuned and tweaked some numbers as well.
To summarize from the Introduction in the other post, Umbara is designed as a Specialist, Auto-Attack based Jungler from Ixtal. The main gimmick is that, just like Udyr, she has no Ultimate instead she has 4 Basic Abilities. The kicker is that she has access to only 2 of said Abilities plus a Unique passive at any given time, and she transforms to get the other abilities and passive. This is probably the most mechanically intensive champion that I have ever created, and I am really proud of it, so I am re-submitting it here.P

Abilities:

Passive: Bloom of Life
Umbara is the Aspect of Nature, allowing her to use the Magic of the 4 seasons, allowing her Basic Attacks to scale with 100% AP instead of 100% AD. Additionally, she changes form based upon the current season, gaining a unique Passive and access to two abilities
Spring Form: Umbara gains a Stack of Wild Growth for every second in combat with Enemies, Minions and Monsters, up to a max of 5. Each Stack grants her 8% Attack Speed, and 6% Lifesteal and Spellvamp.
Summer Form: Enemies and Monsters gain a Stack of Wildfire every second in combat with Umbara, up to a max of 3 Stacks. Enemies take 5% Bonus Magic Damage for every Stack of Wildfire. When fully Stacked, each Stack of Wildfire deals True Damage instead of Magic Damage
Autumn Form: Umbara gains a Stack of Bleak Decay for Every Second in Combat with Enemies and Monsters, up to a max of 5. Her Basic Attacks and Abilities benefit from 7 Magic Penetration for Every Stack of Bleak Decay.
Winter Form: Enemies gain a Stack of Frostbite every second in combat with Umbara, up to a max of 3 Stacks. Enemies are slowed by 20% for every Stack of Frostbite they have. When fully Stacked, Umbara's next instance of Damage on an enemy will consume all Stacks, and stun them for 1 second.
Umbara will always start off in her Spring Form at the beginning of the game, and keeps her current form upon death. Every 90 Seconds, or after a Takedown, while out of combat, she will transform into the next form, in the order listed above. Every 180 Seconds, she will gain a Stack of Primordial Evolution, up to a max of 3 Stacks. She can spend 1 Stack to go to her next Form in the list, after which she has to wait 15 seconds before she can use a Stack of Primordial Evolution again.
Additionally, Umbara has no Ultimate Ability, instead she has a 4rth Basic Ability. She can only use 2 Abilities, her Primary and Secondary, per form. Her Primary Ability corresponds to her current form, and her Secondary Ability corresponds to her Previous Form:
Spring Form:
Primary: Vernal Dawn
Secondary: Steel Sleet Slash
Summer Form:
Primary: Devastating Drought
Secondary: Vernal Dawn
Autumnal Form:
Primary: Autumnal Awakening
Secondary: Devastating Drought
Winter Form:
Primary: Steel Sleet Slash
Secondary: Autumnal Awakening
The Cooldown of Each Ability depends on whether it it the Primary or Secondary Ability. Primary Abilities have a Cooldown of 8 Seconds, and Secondary Abilities have a Cooldown of 13 Seconds. She has access to all her abilities at Level 1, but they can only be leveled up 4 times instead of 5. Additionally, Cooldown Reduction affects the Primary and Secondary Abilities equally, however Ultimate Cooldown Reduction will instead reduce the time it takes to gain a stack of Primordial Evolution.
Q: Vernal Dawn
Passive: Umbara stores all Damage Taken while in Combat with Enemies, Monsters and Minions.
Active: Umbara calls upon the Power of Spring and gain a Shield equal to (100 + 0.055% Bonus Health)% of the Damage Stored for 3 Seconds, and Heal for 30/40/50/50/70% of the Shield's Value over 3 seconds as well. While she is Healing, or Shielded, she does not Store any Damage
W: Devastating Drought
Active: Umbara conjures up a Magical Flame and Blasts the area in front of her in the shape of a cone, dealing 140-60% Total AP + 10/15/20/25/30% Target Max Health Magic Damage, and reducing 40%-10% of all Enemies' and Monsters' Magic Resistance, who are still in the cone, depending on their distance from Umbara, for the next 8 seconds. Leveling up this ability increases the width and length of the cone
E: Autumnal Awakening
Passive: Enemies and Monsters damaged by Umbara gain a Stack of Wild Toxin for 8 Seconds, stacking up to 5. Affected Enemies have 20% Grievous Wounds for Every Stack of Wild Toxin
Active: Umbara Ignites all Stacks of Wild Toxin into Spirit Fire, consuming all Stacks that exist, and Dealing 50/65/80/85/110 + 2/3.5/5/6.5/8% Target Missing Health Magic Damage per Stack consumed to all Enemies who where affected by Stacks of Autumnal Toxin.
R: Steel Sleet Slashes
Active: Umbara empowers herself with Snow Magic, giving her Basic Attacks and Abilities 75 + 30% Bonus AP On-Hit Physical Damage for the next 5 Seconds. She can recast this Ability within those 5 seconds.
Recast: Umbara dashes to a nearby Enemy or Monster, and rapidly striked them 3 times. Each strike counts as a Basic Attack and applies On-Hit Effects. Additionally, each strike ignores 5% of the Target's Armor, stacking on top of the previous amount of Armor ignored. Leveling up this ability makes her strike the target an additional time. This abilities animation and speed is reduced by Attack Speed
If the target enemy moves out of range of this ability, it will pause for 3 seconds, during which is the enemy comes into range, this ability will resume. If they do not come into range within those 3 seconds, then this ability will go onto cool down immediately.

Lore:

Umbara was born Millennia ago to a family of Nomads. They where camped at the edge of Shuriman Desert and the Ixtali Jungles. While this was happening, a terrible Winter Storm was paving its way through the continents, the like of which have never before been seen again. Snow fell meters at a time, sleet rained like blades from the sky, and the temperatures dropped to below freezing, even in what was supposed to be the warmest portion of the day. Yet when she was born, the storm started to cease. In front of their eyes, the snow and sleet stopped falling, the temperature started to rise,a and the clouds dissipated. And where Umbara touched the ground for the first time, a beautiful flower bloomed, one that no one had ever seen before. Thus her surname became, "Winterbloom".
Even as a child, Umbara had a close relationship with Nature. Whenever she was angry and threw a tantrum, the clouds immediately disappeared, plants withered and died, and the heat increased to near lethal heights and when she was sad, sleet and hail would drop from the sky, and feet of snow would start falling as well. Whenever she became happy and joyful, the spring rains would fall, and the jungles around them bloomed like nothing else, and when she was melancholy or nostalgic, the autumnal season came. In her early years she had no control over her emotions, and thus the seasons ran wild, yet as she grew up she cut herself completely off from her emotions. This was a strange power, with the ability to produce devastating consequences. She knew that it was her responsibility to bear, and she willed that it would never be used again by her.
Everything changed when more humans came. Her parents and their group, once nomadic, had settled into a small village on the edge of the border of Shurima and Ixtal. Ixtal had always been eyed by Shurima for its vast forests and rich resources, and now the culling had arrived. Hundreds of Thousands of Sand Soldiers poured into the Jungles, razing nature and people alike. The Ascendants lead the charge, and powered by the might of the Sun Disk, they left a trail of pure devastation in their wake. Umbara was the first village to fall, being right at the border, though not without a fight. The Ascendants where not yet in command of the Soldiers, and in their uncontrolled destruction they awoke a terrible beast. By this point Umbara was alone in this world, her family having been carried off by a plague years earlier, yet even still she felt no emotions. Instead she dedicated her life to preserving and serving the nature around her, finding a deep beauty to it, and trying to find out anything about her powers. It was as if Nature itself called out to her. When the soldiers came, she and the others in her small Hunter-Gatherer village fought well, but where defeated. Most where killed or taken prisoner, doomed to be slaves for the rest of their life.
Yet when they came for her, Nature itself unleashed its wrath. She was not in control of her body anymore, instead the Aspect itself had taken control. Her eyes glowed a bright neon green, and a green aura surrounded her. Up until now it had been content to let the world be, and Umbara to lock away her gifts with it, but now it was time to stop the defilers in their tracks. Dark Clouds churned overhead, appearing almost instantaneously. From them a rain of sleet and hail fell, arriving with devastating force. The temperature spiked rapidly, creating forest fires so hot, Soldiers burned inside thier armor near instantly. All the creatures that the Shuriman soldiers where using on their crusade, all the horses, oxen, even the creatures within the jungles that the Soldiers hunted for food died, their flesh turning acidic and toxic. The Vanguard of the invasion was utterly decimated beneath this reign of chaos.
In an entire day, the Aspect halted the entire invasion, yet when the Ascendants came it was different. Up until this point the Aspect had taken control of Umbara's Body and utilized the gifts it had given her at Birth to enact its vengeance, suppressing Umbara's conscious up till now. But Umbara was stronger than the Aspect had expected. When the Ascendants came, Umbara had suppressed the Aspect once and for all. She was horrified at the destruction she had caused by being so weak to let her power take over her, and once again forsook the Aspect's gift, repressing the Aspect itself nearly entirely. THe Ascendants easily found and captured her.
She let herself be captured, let herself be sold into slavery, let herself take the brutal punishments of her master, all as repentance for her mistake. Through all of this, she still suppressed her emotions and powers, though not nearly as well as she had thought. The Aspect could have taken over her body at any point, yet it was curious. Never before was it heard of that a mortal had resisted the power of an entire Aspect, and the Aspect wondered if it had finally found the perfect host. It had already given Umbara many gifts when she was born, yet she controlled them, and sacrificed an entire part of her personality to keep them under control. She had even devoted herself to Nature entirely as a way to understand her gifts even further. It watched for years as Shurima grew stronger, and Ixtal became a vassel state. It watched for years over Umbara, as she endured multitudes of pain, agony and hard labor as a penance.
The Aspect eventually devised a test for Umbara. One night, after a particularly harsh lesson from the Master, as Umbara slept, it gave her access to all of its' powers. It didnt take over her body this time, but the Aspect's powers where temporarily hers. it wanted to see what would be done with it. Would she waste them pettily by killing her master, escaping and then getting caught back again? Or would she demonstrate the same restrain she had earlier? The latter outcome came true in the end. Umbara felt a change within her that night, an increase in power, similar to what she felt when she stopped the Shurimans, yet without the extra-worldly force controlling her. She had vowed to never use it herself, and still kept this vow, but at the same time, she knew that it was within her, and it scared her deeply, fearing still a loss of control. For another set of years, she endured her self-punishment, feeling that no amount of it could redeem her self, and even through the multiple sales to different masters, even under the pain of the whip, even under the threat of death working amongst other slaves, she kept it to herself. Umbara was captured when she was a teenager at the age of 16, and now she was 27. She had kept her powers under control for so long, and quite impressively that the Aspect was satisfied.
It sent the the Aspect of Twilight to bring her to the peak of Mount Targon. It took many weeks, but the Aspect of Twilight, in its host, found Umbara. She tried to buy Umbara from her master, but he was having none of it, being a very suspicious and jaded person. Shurima had long finished its conquest of Ixtal, and thus good slaves where hard to come by. The Aspect of Twilight was having none of it. Diplomacy having failed, it secretly freed Umbara in the middle of the night. They started their journey back to Targon. Along the way she fed hydrated the malnourished Umbara, and explained all about the Aspects, the different one, their powers, responsibilities, and that she was destined to become the Host to the Aspect of Nature. Umbara herself did not believe any of this at first, and eventually when she did, she rejected the offer of the Aspects. Guilt and horror still overcame her, even 11 years later. She oft woke up screaming at night, as she dreamed of the destruction her body had caused, and only being able to watch it. She escaped multiple times, and attempted to again sell herself into the Shuriman work horse, yet every time she did, the Aspect of Twilight bought her back. Once they crossed over into Targon, Umbara gave up on escaping, as this was a wholly foreign land, and instead tried to end herself multiple times, yet she threw herself off a cliff, a portal would appear and dump her back on the path. Eventually they reached the peak of Mount Targon, and the Aspect of Nature itself spoke to her.
It told her many a things. It admitted to giving her gift at birth, it praised her for her sacrifice to control these gifts, it admitted to taking over her body to defeat the Shuriman Army, it recognized her conviction to her word, even after many years of abuse. It spoke many more things, yet Umbara was in shock. A Divine entity, hitherto she had never even heard of was speaking to her, and telling her how her life had been shaped for this very moment. She then felt once more, a feeling of Guilt, but this time it was mixed with a sense of Duty. She contemplated her life thus far, wondered if this was what she was meant to do in life? She remembered when she first suppressed her emotions, and in extension her powers, when her family died of a plague and she felt nothing for fear of unleashing it all, she remembered all the years of study and introspection in the Wilds of Ixtal, as she sought to understand what where these powers, and why she of all people had them. The Aspect's final words before its offer, was praising her for her restraint and her sense of duty. Nature itself was a benevolent being, yet when triggered it was a force not to be toyed with, and Umbara displayed all these qualities.
In the end, she accepted the Aspect's offer, and in view of all the other Aspect's and their hosts, she transformed. A Beam of Bright Green light surrounded her. Raw natural energy flowed through her. And she came out a different person entirely. Her eyes glowed green. Her hair, once brown, was now shamrock green. All scars and imperfections on her body where healed and removed. She now wore a white dress outlined in colors reflecting the current season, replacing the tatters that she had worn as her time as a slave. And her powers grew exponentially as well.
The Aspect of Nature had not just taken Umbara for its Host, they had instead fully merged together, something only few Hosts and Aspects have managed to do. Their conscious was one, their memories one and their power one. Every single experience, memory and power of the Aspect was no Umbara's giving her a eternity's worth of experience and knowledge to pull from. Umbara now wielded the Bident of Nature. The 2 pronged Scepter exuding the power of the Seasons, just as her powers had before, but now instead of attuning itself to her emotions, she had free will over them. Finally, with this power, comes the final Gift of Nature itself. Nature is unending, it can never be fully destroyed, and it will always regenerate. The Aspect's Host is considered immortal unless the physical body of the Host is irreversibly destroyed, otherwise it will regenerate over time, no matter the injuries. There was no more Aspect and Host anymore, there was only Umbara.
For Millennia, Umbara was the personification of Nature. She watched as time flowed around her, and she protected Nature around the world. She watched as the Host to the Aspect of Twilight died, and became good friends with the new one, Myisha. She watched as Azir's ambition led to the fall of Shurima, and she spit upon his final resting place. When the Great Darkin War began, she was instrumental in not only protecting her domain, but also proposed a scorched earth method to ending the Darkin once and for all. Hellfire and Sleet rained from the sky, the oceans churned and the sand of the Shuriman Desert swirled under her wrath. She nearly succeded in destroying the Darkin once and for all until Mysiha taught the mortals how to seal them away. When Myisha died, she mourned her, and became a Mother figure to the new Host to the Twilight Aspect, Zoe. Now, as the Noxians have sown chaos and discord over the natural world in Ionia, Umbara unleashes her Anger. Nature is benevolent, until it is crossed, then it becomes veangeful. These traits where reflected in Umbara, making her the perfect host to the Nature Aspect. She changed the weather on the Noxians, made the Seasons so severe that they oft retreated under threat of death. She sank their fleet, burned their crops, killed their livestock and healed and preserved the Ionian wilds.
Now, several new issues have appeared in Runeterra. Ionia itself is forgetting about Nature itself, and becoming no better than the Noxian scum. Azir has been resurrected, and with him the bastardly Ascendants. The Frejlord is in chaos as the followers of Volibear wreak havoc, and the Demigods stand idly by. Targon itself has two rogue Aspect Hosts, both of whom have no respect for Nature either. And on top of this, the void has been unleashed in parts of Shurima, destroying anything and everything in its path. Through all of this, Umbara watches, waiting for the right time to strike, and when she does, the world hath better be ready, for the might of Nature has not been released in millennia, and none thus far are prepared for such a harrowing, nor on this scale.

Quotes, Interactions and Appearances:

Pick and Ban Quote:
Pick Quote: All that Blooms, can also Wilt!
Ban Quote: Nature waits for no one but me!
Special Interactions:
Aatrox: You where sealed away once before, NOW YOU DIE!
Anivia: There is more Weather than Snow, Cryophoenix.
Azir: You where better as Sand, let me turn you back to it!
Diana: Host or not, I will defend my domain!
Ivern: My praises, Green Father.
Kennen: You should learn something new, Lightning Lord!
Leona: As I told your lover, my power Eclipses both of yours. Don't forget it!
Maokai: One day, we will restore your home.
Nasus: You should have stayed in your Library, Ascendant! All the knowledge in the world cannot save you now!
Ornn: Balance will be bought back to the Frejlord, with or without you!
Pantheon: Do what you will Pantheon, we have no grievances, nor will I make any.
Renekton: The Butcher indeed! Your blood waters my garden!
Swain: Your Dark Magic is a Defilement on the land. I will purge you and your sin from it!
Udyr: You think nature is your ally? You merely adopted it, I was born with it!
Volibear: End this, or I will!
Umbara's appearance changes depending on her form. She has Shamrock Green Hair, Pale Skin and wears a white dress. The Dress itself is is outlined and has designs in colors depending on her form. Summer Form is Dark Red, Autumnal Form is Orange, Winter Form is Light Blue and Spring Form is Light Green.

Analysis:

So for the Analysis portion, I will be going over what changes I made, as I did rework a lot of stuff. Looking back, there are some quite absurd stuff that I wrote in the old post, like 30% Max Health True Damage for example. At the bottom is a full change log that you guys can see, and I will keep that updated if there are any other changes I make before the voting stage.
A lot of my changes where in the spirit of aligning things more closely with how I want this champion to function. I want this champion to be an AP Bruiser of sorts, akin to Gwen, Diana and Mordekaiser in the jungle. I really took a lot of inspiration from Mordekaiser's builds of Riftmaker, Liandry's Rylai's, but I also wanted to make things like Malignance and Blackfire Torch and Nashor's Tooth potentially viable as well. The goal was to make her abilities scale not with primarily damage but with other stats. For example, Vernal Dawn's shielding and Healing is based on Bonus Health, While Steel Sleet Slashes scale with the amount of Strike it can make. This means that you can build things like a Riftmaker and not be punished for building not raw Damage.
The Passive is where I made a lot of changes. Specifically, I reduced the Stack count from 8 and 5 to 5 and 3. Keeping 8 stacks on an enemy is just not viable, given that they will most likely have some form of mobility to get away and let the stacks fall off, or if it is a sort of champion that wants extended fights like Darius, Aatrox, etc then they are going to very much stat check you unless you are in your Spring Form. Overall, the stack count is down, but to compensate the stats and effects per stack is up. Everything comes out roughly even at max stacks. The other major component I changed is how Ability Haste affected Umbara. Now that there is significantly reduced CDR on Mage/AP Items in general, I think it is safe to allow CDR to affect normal abilities now, especially given that the items that have CDR are Bruiser-y items anyway. Ultimate CDR via Ultimate Hunter and Malignance now affect how Primordial Evolution stacks. The one thing in retrospect that I did not want was having players use primordial evolution to liberally change their forms at will, as the entire point of this champion was the 4 Seasons and balancing different playstyles and effects. To that end, I made Primordial Evolution Stacks take much longer to get, however if you really wanted to, then a fully Stacked Ultimate Hunter + Malignance reduced the CD by about 1/3 which is still significant enough that it makes speccing into these items viable, at least at first sight. Beyond that, i also reduced the lock out time of using a stack of Primordial Evolution, as the goal of Primordial Evolution is to give a way for players to get the right/needed/wanted form before major objectives without disrupting the overall cycle of the Seasons.
As I mentioned above, I reworked a lot of how the abilities scale, so that she can be that AP Bruiser Champion. Vernal Dawn no longer has an absurd Healing and Shielding Ratio, but rather now scales with Bonus Health a la Riftmaker, Liandry's, Rylai's etc. This is also much healthier design, as healing and shielding that much is absurd, and this keeps the essence of the ability intact while keeping her on track.
Devastating Drought has a significantly higher AP scaling when Champions are close to Umbara, and deals Max Health Magic Damage, however realistically this would only max out if an enemy is so close that the models are basically overlapping. Its hard to describe and tune such things without a diagram and actual models, so just assume that the scaling is reasonable enough to not be absolutely bonkers for the sake of the champion design. The main idea behind this ability, which is that leveling it up increases the cone size, is still intact, all that is changed is the damage.
Autumnal Awakening got a lot of number re-tuning to make it more balanced and useable. Again, the Stack count is down because 8 is just unrealistic in modern League, and thus the damage has been amped up a bit to compensate. In addition, it now deals Missing Health Damage, and this is because it is intended to function more as a Conditional Finishing tool rather then an engage or simple damage nuke.
Steel Sleet Slashes, I made a lot more conditional but I also reworded a lot of things to be more clear. Most importantly, since leveling up this ability added an additional strike, If it was a simple Pantheon W then anybody in range would get obliterated once you level this up a bit. Pantheon W is anyway super un-fun to play against, so this was an automatic red flag in my book, so I balanced it on when enemies come into and leave the range of the ability. When they leave, there is a small window where if Umbara can reach them again, the ability will resume, otherwise it goes on Cooldown. This way, if you have mobility you can use it to escape the onslaught of damage, and if you do not then Umbara in Winter Form is designed for you to die to.
In terms of build, I really see some combination Rylai's, Riftmaker, Blackfire Torch, Malignance, Liandry's, Demonic Embrace and Nashor's Tooth being core items on her, depending on how you want to play her. Umbara really synergizes with DoT effects and Bruiser items, however hybrid Assassin-Bruiser items like Nashor's Tooth I can see being viable, especially given that she can be a viable assassin for half the time if you spec into it. At the same time, you are Bruiser for the other half the time, and the abilities you have still function on Bruiser items, so you can certainly spec into the other side. In total, I would forsee her having a lot of build variety and the ability to switch gears on a whim.

Change log:

May 11-12, 2024:

• Passive: Bloom of Life
  • Spring Form Passive: Max Stacks 8 > 5, AS and Lifesteal adjusted to be the same at Max Stacks. Spellvamp added.
  • Summer Form Passive: Max Stacks changed from 4 > 3. Bonus Magic Damage Ratio changed from 2.5% > 5% flat. 5% more Bonus Damage at Max Stacks
  • Autumn Form Passive: Max Stacks 8 > 5. Magic Pen per stack increased 5 > 7. 5 Less Magic Pen at max Stacks but still 35 Magic Penetration
  • Winter Form Passive: Max Stacks 4 > 3. MS Slow increased per stack, but overall 10% less slow at full stacks. Changed wording to be more clear
  • Form Transformation will occur out of combat instead of immediatly.
  • Primordial Evolution charge time 120 > 180 seconds.
  • Primordial Evolution lock-out time reduced from 30 > 15 seconds.
  • Max Stacks of Primordial Evolution reduced 4 > 3 (using 4 stacks puts you at the same form, therefore its pointless)
  • Cooldown Reduction now affects Basic Abilities, and Ultimate CDR now affects the time for Primordial Evolution
• Q: Vernal Dawn
  • Shield value changed to (100 + 0.055% Bonus Health)% of Damage stored
  • Heal amount changed to 30/40/50/50/70% of the Shield's Value
• W: Devastating Drought
  • AP Ratio changed to 140-60% Total AP + 10/15/20/25/30% Target Max Health Magic Damage
  • Magic Resist Reduction now applies for the next 8 seconds instead of only benefiting this Ability
• E: Autumnal Awakening
  • Max Stacks reduced 8 > 5
  • Grievous Wounds per Stack increased 10 > 20%
  • Damage per Stack changed to 50/65/80/85/110 + 2/3.5/5/6.5/8% Target Missing Health Magic Damage per Stack
• R: Steel Sleet Slashes
  • Slightly re-worded
  • Reworked slightly
    • Active now empowers Basic Attacks
    • Recast is a Dash + Striked
    • Moving out of range pauses strikes for 3 seconds

This is more a cry for help and knowing I'm not alone than anything else.
I feel like I’m in a never-ending episode of "Supermarket Sweep" mixed with some sort of puzzle game where I have to match my shopping list with my family’s myriad of dietary needs. It’s just... exhausting.
Every week, I arm myself with the optimism of someone about to find a treasure chest at Amazon, Whole Foods, Costco, or Walmart. Between checking labels for hidden allergens and comparing prices to stick to my budget, my shopping trips are quite chaotic. And don't even get me started on online shopping—where my cart is perpetually full, but my fridge remains woefully empty.
I confess, I'm the person who overshoots the budget (hello, impulse buys at the checkout!). And time? I spend hours planning, only to forget half the things I actually needed because I got distracted by a sale on gluten-free cookies (which, let's be honest, weren't even that good).
So, I'm tossing this out to the Reddit universe: How do you all manage your shopping with dietary restrictions? Any hacks, tips, or maybe just some funny stories to share?
What else troubles you about shopping in-store or online? (I just want one-click checkout at this point)😅

Hi all,
Glad Paradox finally gave me a chance to try out the game without buying it. While I can see what people like about it, I came out of it with a slightly mixed opinion.
The Good:
-graphics are great and suit a modern engine. That beautiful seemless zooming in from a strategy meeting table to a world map, to graphically rich local top down map is... fantastically designed. I would take this new enging and UI in a heartbeat over CK2.
-religion and sub religion mechanics are excellent with every subgroup imaginable, alive or dead in the group lists upon closer inspection. Better, though I haven't experienced it yet, is the option to modify a religion into a subreligion with new characteristics.
As a history buff and someone interested in the history of religions, I was legitimately shocked at how complete some of these lists are, and in turn how robust this system may be for megacampaigns. Also out of interest looking at the religion lists and seeing how many were still alive at my start date. Fascinating by a team that does its homework.
-character development: The original CK2 had this locked behind the Way of Life DLC. Here the game gives it as part of the base game which makes it better and fairer. You choose a focus bringing associated events, and you even have a skill tree where you can spend the points to improve various stats and bonuses. Really good and it's quite an expansive set of trees. Each skill has 3 focuses and 3 branching trees. Paradox outdid themselves here.
-culture mechanics: fascinating that cultures are now almost a civilization group that organically evolve and provide bonuses across
-secrets and hooks: I actually like this. Through your spymaster and other mechanics, you can gain secrets on your subjects which you can either expose, or blackmail them with, giving you "hooks", a special compulsion like favours in other games that make them grant what you like. I think this is great and adds another dimension to internal politics.
-disease mechanics: This was in CK2, but it's more in depth here, with graphics on the map, cool dynamic names... love it even when it kills off all my characters... (I legit got sad a few times)
-looks like Siege weapons are now in the game, but couldn't afford them yet.
-The STRESS system: I love this as it forces you to roleplay your own character.
-character history sheet: excellent I can see some of the pivotal moments in their lives.
The free version only gave the base game so I can't comment on the other cool features I see in DLC: Royal Courts, Tours and Tournaments etc...
The Bad:
This is all my opinion, a summary of the notes I took while playing CK3 over 13 hours to give it all a fair shot.
-Not much flavour that I could see, I posted Rome being a mountain top castle elsewhere... but it's the same for Constantinople... numbers go up but visually these buildings look the same. A dung heap in Northern France should be distinct from the most developed city in the world, sorry. Rome and Constantinople as hilltop castle baronies? No. Just no.
-Streamlining leading to less information: There are some design decisions here that I find frankly rage inducing as they have been streamlined out... One of the interesting parts of my playthrough is to have a breakdown of my wars, the battles, the casualties on both sides... remember that? Well, Paradox decided no one cares about that, wars are interchangeble banalities and so in the war screen you get nothing on the casualty figures. In fact, there isn't much information at all other than what your army numbers were at the beginning of the war.
Thanks.When did this become a thing??? It can give me great stats for individual battles but not give me the combined numbers from the war??? Did they have the HOI4 cockblock team work overtime on this???
Aside from this, the game constantly tells me a character has learned a new language but I can't see a list of languages on the character screen anywhere.... and I tried hard looking. EDIT: Thanks to the comments below I found it. Bilingual characters will have a lips icon next to their photo in the character screen.
I can't hold the lack of population information against this game, even though I wish it were there, as few of paradox games have them either, sadly. Also... well I don't think exact population records and censuses were historical in this time period.
-double blackmail: Part of some of the arbitrary fun stoppers is that I could not gain an additional hook or option to blackmail from the same person: I found out one child was a bastard, then shortly thereafter got another secret on another son being a bastard. -excess occurrence of certain features: I can see the disease mechanic is a relatively new edition as it seems to show up extremely often. (CK2 did the same, but... well next point)
-cultural mechanics: So major inventions don't get accepted until there's been a cultural obsession over it? Interesting way to view the spread of technology. A moot point, I can sort of get it, whichever way they decide to model historical technology spread is fine with me.
-Multiculturalism and globalisation in the medieval world: In line with the above, I am wondering if there aren't some things that are anachronistic here. In late 11th century Ireland to have Hungarian knights and wandering greeks so often? It's interesting but for the sake of historicity, shouldn't this be toned down a bit?
-Legitimacy mechanics: In my game, again, tutorial island, I was constantly hit, every 10 years on average with some pandemic... each time, same events.. each time a hit of 20 legitimacy...
In my game, I had taken most of Ireland, was stuck with a limit to my expansion so warfare wasn't much of an option. The feasts, hunts, whatever... aren't they a bit more expensive than in CK2? Because I was getting quoted 300 gold for each ... in the hope of increasing legitimacy that way?
Are the legitimacy increases locked behind specific DLC features like the Royal Court?
-Feasts are an expensive complicated pain: I remember in CK2 it was all a few clicks away. Pay the base amount of what 150 or 200 gold, you then click through a few options to decide how opulent you want it to be, and hey presto, you have a feast where you interact with your vassals. In my Ireland game, they for some reason cost upwards of 300.... so I never bothered as it seemed like a waste vs. developing my holdings... I was invited to one... but maybe I heard about it too late as I didn't receive a popup: When I tried to get to it, you have to actually plan the physical route to get there... and in my case any route I took took past 20 days ensuring that I wouldn't make it on time... How is this fun?
-Battles are opaque: the tutorial didn't explain exactly how certain men at arm units counter others.... and also not how the proportions of them work. How many do you have to have to counter an opposing unit efficiently? Doesn't tell you. Great idea, but it's trial and error.
Strategic bonuses for locations make sense, but often the AI will attack, retreat to somewhere defensible and you'll have to constantly follow where its going. QoL features like automatically choosing a general for your army when one dies are absent, leaving my army to suddenly.
l get attacked and realize the general had died, giving it extensive negative bonuses. Greater complexity here should be matched with better information.
-Sequence of battles in wars are stupid: I started to groan eventually when my wars in Ireland for different counties turned into the cycle of: -disband levies, declare war, raise levies again, attack main city, beat army into shattered retreat, sit and wait 10 months for siege, while sieging, wait for enemy army that it is half your size to mindlessly attack yours over and over again like lemmings jumping off a cliff. No....
-No army automation: This is a feature they could have brought in from Imperator but decided not to, so again you will have the fun of chasing an army down the map like old times.
-Ship system !!!!!!!!!: well while not granting the player army automation, it decided to streamline something else: ship transport. Now, instead of being restricted to players who have holdings with ship levies, or to those paying for mercenary levies... it's available to everyone now for a flat rate. Some may correctly argue that it makes transporting troops less onerous. What I see is that it turns your troops magically into boats to get wherever they want when they want for money....
But aside from conservatism, let me explain why I hate this: In my game, my wife was Spanish and a member of the royal family, somehow, some family members died and she became the ruler of a duchy in Northern Spain. Suddently, I was called into war to help defend her from a peasant revolt. I joined.... moved my army there for the first time using this mechanic... Wanna guess what the peasant rabble armies did? Turned themselves magically into boats and sailed straight for the Emerald Isle of course! Immersion breaking garbage like this is unforgiveable.
I am afraid of all the points, the ships and the lack of casualty stats on the war screen are the biggest dealbreakers.
Conclusion: I imagine people are not going to like what I've written and think ill of me. I can give in my defense that this are my honest takeaways.
In a way, I am glad I spent the 13 hours giving it a shot. I know that I am fine sticking with CK2 for now and considering this game in maybe 4 years time.
I was given the option to try this game for free so I am not going to post this as a negative review on Steam. I want this game to do well and look forward to seeing a better game in the future. I have never boarded the train of hating on Paradox products for no reason, but I know when something isn't ready yet.
(To make this perhaps hit home more, I finally bought the Conclave DLC during the sale, my last missing DLC. I am not buying this yet)

So.. I’ve been meditating on what to do, if anything, with a new regular.
A couple of weeks ago, a request came in late at night for the following day. It was for a pit mix that was crated in a camper. I was to go feed him and let him out. Owner hadn’t been home in a day or two because she works far from home I guess. Of course, my gut instinct was “do not accept this. It’s going to be bad. It’s going to make me sad.”
Rewind: before I got on Rover, I was helping a neighbor with her big breed puppies (6-9 months.) She also worked a lot and left them crated most of the time. They were untrained and had so much energy and it was a really sad situation for those dogs. She never lets them out of a windowless hallway. I tried to intervene then, and she sued me for “stalking” (I have a door cam and she’s my neighbor in an apartment building) and lost her claim because it was ridiculous but she still has those dogs and it’s awful. I’m still fighting to get them away from her but as I’m sure many of you know, animal rights are almost nonexistent. ☹️
So, I feel like I have trauma from that situation. I feel like now when I see a dog kept crated most of the day for most days, I automatically assume the worst. But that’s NOT a great thing to have crated all the time dogs right? Am I wrong? Be honest!
So my new client, with the camper. This poor sweet dog is SO sweet. Well trained, listens to commands, etc. here’s my concerns:

• owner leaves for days at a time. She does have me coming by 3 times a day though. But doesn’t want dog off leash, dog has collar and no harness, leash is basically a bungee cord so it pulls his neck so bad.. he just needs to RUN he is so high energy and excited to be outside when I get there.
  
• there’s also a cat, various reptiles, and at least one tarantula she’s keeping as pets that are not on the Rover profile. I don’t need to do anything for them apparently but litter box is so full the whole camper smells awful and I can’t find where the cat apparently has food left out. I told her this and she said it’s been fed and it does seem chubby but idk.. I just have such a bad feeling here
  
• the dog’s crate smells to high heaven of feces and urine. There’s no food or water in there with him. It gets to at least 80-90 degrees in there during a hot day. The bedding has been chewed up as well as various bits of trash he must have pulled through the bars.
  
• dog is so sweet. So happy and excited when I let him out of his crate. But when I have to leave, he gets SO sad when I have to put him back. I cried last night while I pushed him back in. She didn’t hire me for anything today because apparently her partner will be there at some point. But he was supposed to be there night before last too, and I swear it didn’t look like anything had been touched since the time I had been there previously. Doesn’t get home until late tomorrow.
  

Look, I’m aware that I really shouldn’t have taken this booking. I also realize I probably shouldn’t take it again. what I’m worried about is if I should report this and call animal control or something?
It sucks because it’s a pitbull. Realistically, if he were rescued and put into a shelter, his chances of being adopted or rehomed are low. is it better to give him the chance of life with this owner or to rescue him to have him euthanized later in a shelter? I just don’t know what to do.
Moral of the story: listen to your instincts. if you feel like a booking is a bad situation, it probably is.
Thanks for reading

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Old-Scool Diet 2.O
"A comprehensive article on bodybuilding diet minutiae - and SO MUCH MORE
What follows is my version of an old school (mid-80s to early 90s) bodybuilding fat-loss diet/regimen, with an updated (2020's) dietary supplementation plan. This type of diet was very popular when I was a child and produced results for many who used it. I was reminded of such diets by bodybuilding writers such as John Romano, who wrote about the basic bodybuilding diet in an issue of Muscular Development sometime around 2008.
Although renowned for its simplicity, it can become somewhat monotonous. The key tenets of this type of fat loss diet are 1) being in a slightly negative caloric balance, 2) using a simplified shopping list of 15 or fewer items, and 3) taking in large amounts of protein, a moderately large amount of carbohydrates, and a small/modest amount of dietary fat.
You will consume 3-4 "whole-food" meals per day along with 1-3 protein shakes (more on workout days and less on off days). You should drink at least 1 gallon worth of calorie-free liquids per day.... the closer you get to 1.5 gal and even 2 gal (if you're really big) the better.
The Shopping List
So, you're at the grocery store and you're in and out within 10 minutes. You don't care about the weekly sales (unless they involve one of your "weekly 15" items). Thus, grocery shopping becomes a snap.
As for the items themselves, a basic "old school" bodybuilding diet would likely contain:

1. Eggs
2. Milk (skim or 2% or UF/CFM)
3. Chicken Breast (boneless and skinless)
4. Tuna chunk light, canned
5. Cottage Cheese (2-4%) & red-fat cheese
6. Lean Gr Beef or Sirloin, NY strip, etc Steak
7. Rice
8. Oatmeal
9. Whole wheat (or white) Bread
10. Apples
11. Oranges
12. Pasta
13. Frozen Berries
14. Bananas
15. Broccoli

Of course, you can rotate in other vegetables such as corn on the cob, salad greens, and lettuces (with light balsamic or low-carb vinaigrette dressing if a salad) etc etc.
Eating a variety of wholesome foods that are (by and large) as unprocessed (aside from rice and oatmeal which must be processed as well as some dairy items) as possible typically means you'll be getting a wide spectrum of nutrients, including both macro and micronutrients. A daily multivitamin/mineral tablet can ensure you're filling any gaps in micronutrient needs (vitamins and minerals). As for macronutrients, this diet provides the bulk of its calories as protein and carbohydrate with only about 10% of the daily calorie allotment being reserved for fats.
What is the logic behind the macronutrient breakdown?
You'll be eating about 45-50 percent of your calories as carbohydrates and 40-45 percent as protein with only 10-15% as fat.
Why 45-50% as carbohydrate? Carbohydrate is stored in the liver and muscles as a substance called glycogen. For every gram of glycogen stored within the body, there are 2.7 grams of water attached. This gives the muscles a pumped appearance and feeling. This also means the muscles are well stocked with stored energy. The majority of your weight training sessions will involve anaerobic exercise. This type of exercise utilizes the glycolytic energy pathway to generate ATP or Adenosine Tri Phosphate.
(Note: The amino-acid-based dietary supplement Creatine also supports ATP synthesis by donating Phosphate to ADP).
Having adequate amounts of both calories and carbohydrates helps prevent dietary-induced drops in TSH.... or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone. This, in theory (and empirical practice) keeps one's metabolism humming and prevents one from "drying out." Simply put, you'll get great pumps in the gym thanks to all that stored water (remember 2.7 grams of water is stored per gram of glycogen).
Energy-rich carbohydrates (grains and fruits) differ from fiber-rich vegetables. Not only do energy-rich carbohydrates provide far more calories but the calories they supply raise blood glucose levels markedly and rapidly. These types of carbohydrates are more easily broken down into simple sugars (glucose etc). Simple sugars and carbohydrates such as rice and white bread are termed high-glycemic (they spike serum blood sugar and insulin levels) while whole wheat or rye bread and things like oatmeal and non-starchy vegetables are deemed low-glycemic.
To be completely forthright and technical all carbohydrates and macronutrients provide energy. The phytonutrients, micronutrients, and fiber aside, carbohydrates simply provide a "higher octane" energy (than protein or fat). ATP is regenerated via the glycolytic energy pathway; carbohydrates stoke the glycolytic energy pathway most efficiently. Despite this, carbohydrates are technically unessential.
Fat and in particular protein can both be used to create carbohydrates. And both fat and protein can supply energy. But fat and protein contain essential nutrients the body cannot manufacture. These essential nutrients are essential fatty acids (EFAs) and essential amino acids (EAAs).
What about Protein?
Because you're getting roughly half of your calories from carbohydrates the protein you take in will likely be spared from providing energy - at least that's what we're hoping for. You're going to shoot for 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight. The actual range of values would be between 0.8g/lb to 1.4g/lb (grams of protein per pound).
You're going to want to consume high-quality, complete protein from sources such as meat, poultry, fish, and dairy. If you have 4 meals and a shake and are taking in let's say 225 grams of protein per day that works out to 45 grams per "feeding." To be more realistic we'll simply say take in between 40-50 grams of protein per feeding.
Protein supplies nitrogen and the "building blocks" of skeletal muscle tissue (amino acids). Protein is essential because 8-10 amino acids are considered essential (other amino acids can become essential in certain situations or circumstances, they are called conditionally essential amino acids).
If you're 200 lbs taking in 1.25 grams protein per pound of bodyweight you're consuming 250 grams of protein per day. Protein contains 4 calories per gram. Thus you'd be consuming 1,000 calories of protein. At 45-50% of total daily calories, carbohydrates would comprise app 1.25x worth of calories as compared to protein. Thus, carbohydrates would come to 1,250 calories. Total daily calories would thus far be 2,250.
2,250 divided by 0.9 yields 250 calories, and at 9 calories per gram that would afford us a mere (roughly) 25 grams of fat. I would at least double this figure (not counting supplemental fats). 50 grams of fat adds 450 calories. 450 plus 2,250 yields 2,700 calories total. Thus, your diet breakdown will be closer to 16-20% fat (20% when including supplemental EFAs), 40% protein, and 40-45% carbohydrate).
Note: If need be, you can cut down carbohydrates by a few hundred calories and increase your protein consumption. This would change the dietary breakdown to roughly 40/40/20 (popularized by Barry Sears as the Zone diet).
You'll want to stay on this diet for a week and record how you felt, what you ate, and how well you slept. Every other day weigh yourself after your morning shit, shower and shave. If you maintain your weight the 2,700 calorie mark is your body's "set-point target." To reduce excess weight (fat) reduce your total daily calories by roughly 10-15 percent and exercise 3-5 days per week. Include cardiovascular training in addition to your weight lifting to further speed up your fat loss efforts. You can do LISS (low-intensity steady state) cardio (walking) or you can do HIIT (High-intensity interval training) cardio 2-5 times per week. Personally, I would choose 5 45-minute leisurely walks over other forms of cardio.
What about "fat burners?"
When people say "fat burners" they're referring to thermogenic agents which speed up the body's metabolism by some 5% or so (5-8% for an hour or two). In the 90s both Phentermine and the ECA stack were popular. These catecholamine-based compounds were potent appetite suppressants, particularly phentermine. The ECA stack was/is also a beta-adrenergic agonist. Since then a host of other supposedly "thermogenic" compounds and preparations have come into the limelight. Yerba Mate comes to mind, as do the popular OTC products Xenadrine and Hydroxycut. Even plain old caffeine is sometimes considered a first-rate "fat burner."
The truth is these products barely increase metabolic rate enough to make much of a difference. Most of their worth comes from their appetite-suppressant effects. Now, I'm not saying if you're suddenly prescribed Adderall or start smoking ice you won't lose weight - you will. It's simply that most weight loss, even from strong stimulants, comes from their appetite-suppressant effects.
The only "fat burners" that truly increase fat burning without the need for appetite suppression are L Carnitine and Cardarine. Cardarine is a peroxisome proliferator-activated receptor-delta agonist. Cardarine enhances lipolysis during exercise. Training increases energy availability by promoting catabolism of proteins, and gluconeogenesis, whereas GW501516 enhances specific consumption of fatty acids and reduces glucose utilization. L Carnitine can be beneficial to exercise performance and fat loss; paradoxically it also suppresses T3, or active thyroid hormone.
T3 or Cytomel can be used to markedly increase resting metabolic rate, but "T3 burns through muscle and fat indiscriminately." You can reduce the amount of muscle tissue being burned and attenuate the reductions in "muscle pump" experienced when supplementing with extra T3.
To do so you'll need to drink water like a camel and supplement your diet with beetroot crystals and citrulline malate. You'll also want to utilize Tadalafil or Cialis. Surprisingly, aside from increasing the pump one experiences from lifting weights Cialis also increases fat burning and creates more BAT (Brown adipose Tissue as compared to WAT... white adipose tissue), relatively speaking. BAT is metabolically active and behaves more like muscle in this respect.
To reduce muscle loss while on higher doses of T3 nothing short of AAS (@ least 200-300 mg/wk, if not 400mg + per week) will truly help. SARMS such as RAD-140 may be of some (yet limited) value. To be honest I would avoid T3 supplementation unless also using Testosterone (Enanthate 400mg/wk) or other AAS.
As for fats, their consumption is largely incidental on this diet and comes from the dairy, red meat, poultry, occasional salad, or handful of mixed nuts one might expect to consume if adhering to the aforementioned dietary principles .
This means the amount of saturated fat as compared to MUFAs or PUFAs will be somewhat high. To remedy this one can consume tuna packed in soybean oil as well as by supplementing 3x per day with triple concentrated, enteric-coated, fish oil capsules. These fish oil capsules break down in the small intestine and there are no fishy burps with them thanks to that enteric coating. They are extremely rich in the special fatty acids EPA and DHA, Eicosapentaenoic acid and Docosohexanoic acid.
One might also supplement with an Udo's Omega 3:6:9 blend of daily supplemental oil.
As for specialty fats, one must purchase the next two in supplement form. CLA is conjugated linoleic acid and it helps improve body composition over time by increasing muscle mass and decreasing fat mass. Sesamin has a host of potential health benefits. Together these two designer fats can markedly improve physical aesthetics, health, and overall well-being.
Finally, there is GLA or gamma linoleic acid. Unless you eat a lot of cashews you'll want to get this fatty acid in supplement form as well.
Note: You needn't supplement every specialty fatty acid mentioned to reap benefits from each fatty acid you choose to use.
The GOLDEN RULE of DIETING: CICO
Calories in vs. calories out. It's so simple yet so misunderstood. When you reduce dieting down to its least common denominator it's CICO you're left with. If you aren't gaining or losing weight you're at an established set-point. You're at current equilibrium. It also means you're essentially burning just about every calorie you take in (burning every single calorie to be more precise, it's just the body's ebbs and flows and an equilibrium setpoint is usually somewhat elastic ).
If you begin to regularly consume more calories than your BMTMR allot (and than you burn via daily movement and exercise), you will put on additional body mass (including both fat and skeletal muscle). If you begin to consume less than your BMTMR allot, and/or begin exercising yourself into a negative caloric balance, you will lose weight, typically a combination of fat and muscle (but usually far more fat than muscle, particularly if one lifts weights throughout).
Note: BMTMR = Basal & Total Metabolic Rate
So are all macronutrients equal then? I mean, do all macronutrients convert into ATP at the same efficiency rate?
Technically no they do not. Protein is far less efficient in its conversion to ATP as compared to fat or carbohydrate. Thus, it takes MORE protein to create "x" amount of ATP. Remember, ATP stands for adenosine triphosphate. It is the body's preferred cellular fuel for high-intensity, high-octane activities. In this sense, protein's inefficiency in converting to ATP means a calorie really isn't a calorie after all. (Because) It takes more protein calories to create "x" amount of ATP than if one were creating that same "x" amount of ATP from carbohydrate or fat calories.
Now that that anomaly is out of the way it's best to simply memorize CICO, calories in vs. calories out, irrespective of macronutrient source. This is the most practical, tried and true way to diet scientifically.
So you've established your caloric allotment for metabolic equilibrium and lowered that figure by 10-15%. You've added in 3-4 30-minute LISS cardio sessions per week in addition to 4 weight-lifting workouts. You're beginning to lose weight week in and week out and then your progress slows and eventually stalls. Your body has become accustomed to the lower calories and the extra workload. Unfortunately, aside from supplementing your diet with substances such as Cardarine or Clenbuterol, there is little more you can do outside of dropping calories once more.... (or adding even more cardio).
Over time these successive reductions in calorie allotment lead to a reduction in TSH, or thyroid stimulating hormone. It's the body's way of slowing things down in an effort to maintain homeostasis. To continue improving body composition one mustn't merely lose as much fat as possible, but also must maintain the muscle mass one has - or even build a bit. Now I'll come right out and say it, if you're 6-10 weeks into a strict fat loss diet you're not going to be concerned with building additional muscle unless you're using Testosterone and/or other AAS and PEDs. Even then, if juicing quite a bit, at some point building muscle transitions into preserving muscle. No matter how much you're pinning if you aren't eating enough calories you simply cannot (physiologically) add appreciable lean fat-free body mass.
To boost the body's T3 levels one can supplement directly with T3 (Cytomel) or with pro-active-thyroid T4 (converts to T3 in body; Synthroid). There is supplemental T2 but I advise readers to steer clear of this thyroid analogue. Another way of boosting T3 levels, and a legal, natural way to boot, is by having periodic carbohydrate-rich refeeds and higher calorie days. Have a carbohydrate-rich meal every 3 days if on a lower carbohydrate diet as well as a higher calorie day once every seven to ten days whether on a mixed macronutrient or a lower carbohydrate type diet.
How many meals do you need to eat per day?
While there is potentially some slight advantage to eating several smaller to moderately sized meals spaced evenly throughout the day the science says "when you eat the bulk of your calories makes little to no difference." So if you'd rather have two larger-sized 1,350 calorie meals and then intermittently fast for the rest of your wake-sleep cycle (or "day" whether a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd shifter etc) go ahead. That said, I would personally recommend at least 2-3 whole food-based meals and 1-3 protein shakes per day for best results in the gym. As for weight loss, remember it boils down to CICO: whether you have 10 270-calorie mini-meals or one 2,700-calorie smorgasbord makes practically no difference.
What about enhancing insulin sensitivity and improving glucose metabolism while imparting a nutrient-partitioning effect?
I first learned of the term Glucose Disposal Agent while reading Dan Duchaine's Underground BodyOpus. Dan was recommending an isocaloric diet at one point but I believe he'd moved onto cyclical ketogenic-type dieting by the early to mid-90s - and obviously by the time he wrote Underground BodyOpus. Because catecholamines work better in low (serum) insulin environments and because high levels of insulin in the blood render fat-burning enzymes such as HSL largely inert, it is a good idea to release as little insulin as is necessary/possible. Postprandial serum insulin concentrations share a direct correlation with postprandial (after a meal) blood glucose levels. To help optimize glucose metabolism and loweoptimize postprandial glucose numbers far more efficiently - while also driving nutrient partitioning by enhancing the selective expression of GLUT 4 (on muscle cells and not fat cells), one should consider the use of glucose disposal agents such as Na R ALA and Berberine HCL.
Over time the use of GDAs improves insulin sensitivity markedly, assisting in the significant attenuation of metabolic syndrome. Berberine alone has been shown in some clinical trials to perform as good or better than the popular diabetic medication Metformin. Na R ALA is the most bioavailable form of alpha lipoic acid and you need only 250mg 2-3x/day to reap major benefits. If you use the cheaper form of alpha lipoic acid use 400-700 mg 2-3x/day.
To these two GDAs I would recommend a form of Vanadium, Vanadyl Sulfate. I would also add a form of chromium, either chromium picolinate or chromium polynicotinate. There are scores of various GDA or GDA-like compounds to choose from. For the most bang for your buck start and stick with this 4 part GDA stack before adding additional GDA compounds into the mix.
Note: If you combine the regular use of GDAs with a modified lower or low-carb diet one can literally reverse Type 2 Diabetes, particularly if the disease is in its early onset stage(s).
Maintaining Energy (to train intensely) while on a reduced-calorie diet
When you lift weights getting that all too familiar "pump" feels amazing. Arnold Schwarzenegger once compared it to sexual release - even going so far as to claim the "pump was better than cumming." I would have to disagree with Mr. Schwarzenegger on that, but I will concede that getting a vein-bursting, skin-splitting pump (obviously I'm embellishing: no pump bursts veins or splits the skin) gives one a major short-term motivational boost as well as an endorphin rush. It also feels great and makes one look more muscular and vascular. But getting a great pump while in a major caloric deficit, particularly if one is restricting carbohydrates, becomes difficult to say the least. So how does one boost the body's high-octane "energy" source, ATP, without taking in extra calories?
If you were unaware that ATP can be supplemented directly (orally), now you know. PEAK ATP is a well-known ATP supplement. In addition to supplementing directly with ATP one can also utilize Creatine Monohydrate (or other forms of creatine) to behave as a Phosphate donor. Creatine is stored within the body as creatine phosphate. Creatine phosphate donates its phosphate ring to ADP, or Adenosine Di-Phosphate, creating ATP, or Adenosine Tri-Phosphate. As you know ATP is the body's preferred "high-octane" cellular-energy-medium. Creatine and ATP are both important to high-intensity anaerobic exercise. But what about boosting the glycolytic energy pathway?
The body utilizes glucose and stored glycogen to replenish ATP. When glucose/glycogen is in low supply the body will utilize glycogenic amino acids (in a process called gluconeogenesis) to boost serum glucose concentrations, especially while involved in intense exercise such as weight lifting (bodybuilding). Supplementing (pre-workout) with whey protein isolate and/or EAA/BCAA+Glutamine can help prevent the body from utilizing its muscle tissue as a donor source for gluconeogenically-derived "energy."
Note: Glutamine can increase both hepatic and skeletal muscle glycogen stores (without carbohydrates).
Another thing you can do to enhance fat burning is to increase the proportion of fuel burned as fat during exercise. To achieve this supplement with the PPAR delta agonist Cardarine. Cardarine markedly increases cardiovasculaendurance capacity as well as muscular endurance. You'll be getting a few more reps per set on your higher rep sets and increasing the amount of fat (instead of blood sugar) your body is using while doing so.
Note: Stacking Cardarine with the infamous lipotropic L Carnitine may further enhance each supplement's effects.
Note: I have a separate article written on L Carnitine. See this article to learn everything you would ever want to know about L Carnitine in less than 5 minutes.
What about maintaining the muscle mass you built while in a caloric surplus after you diet your way into a significant negative caloric balance?
The supplement HMB, Beta Hydroxy Methyl Butyrate was over-hyped in the 90s. Everybody was looking for the "next creatine." And HMB showed promise. Then the research trickled in. Initially, HMB appeared to be of little value. Then more and more research poured in. Today we know HMB is most effective as an anticatabolic supplement.
HMB helps ensure the body remains in a positive nitrogen balance, but not by increasing protein synthesis. Rather, HMB reduces the breakdown of muscle mass (protein), and is particularly useful in lower-calorie settings, and/or high-stress situations (including recovery post-surgery and healing from serious burns).
You'll want to use a minimum of 3 grams of HMB per day. Amounts as high as 10 grams or more daily can be costly but are safe (and more effective than lower dosages, which does not necessarily hold true for other dietary supplements).
A second anticatabolic supplement you might consider is Phosphatidylserine or PS. The use of PS is reportedly effective in reducing excessive serum cortisol concentrations. Cortisol, a glucocorticoid, increases protein catabolism. This supplement can be costly to use, however.
Some trainees, gurus and gym pundits firmly believe the conditionally essential amino acid Glutamine is a potent anti-catabolic substance. The research on Glutamine's efficacy for athletes isn't clear; some studies show benefit(s) while others clearly do not.
If you're using appreciable amounts of protein powder (Whey Protein Isolate, Pea Protein Isolate, Caseinate, Milk Protein Isolate) you'll be getting about 4-5 grams of Glutamine (and precursors) per scoop (app 25 grams of protein. Most protein rich whole foods are also rich in Glutamine.
If you're in a caloric surplus (off season mode) then additional Glutamine is essentially a waste of money. Glutamine is best utilized while in the throes of strict dieting, when muscle mass losses are most likely. Glutamine can contribute to the Amino Acid Pool and act as a gluconeogenic donor if need be. Glutamine can also help restock both hepatic and skeletal muscle glycogen stores INDEPENDENTLY of carbohydrates (Glucose). To enhance glycogen replenishment, particularly in the peri-workout period, Glutamine must be taken in very large doses (up to 15-20 grams pre/intra workout & post workout).
Another thing you can do to reduce the loss of muscle mass while dieting is to raise your protein consumption to as high as 1.5 grams per pound of body weight. Of course, you'll have to have a commensurate reduction in calories from carbohydrates and/or fat.
And remember, while dieting to maximize fat-loss your goal isn't to build muscle, but instead to maintain that muscle which you've already built. This means you must take care to avoid overtraining. Not only is overtraining unnecessary at this stage, but it can be extremely damaging to one's physique. You run the risk of injury anytime you step foot in a gym but the probability of injury is geometrically increased if one is overtraining, particularly while on a low-calorie diet. Limit your weekly lifting sessions to no more than 5. Don't go crazy on the volume (# of sets) and stay in the 8-12 rep range most of the time (you can do more or fewer reps but 8-12 is a great rep range for most). You aren't going to be setting any PRs here.
Can you tell us what a sample day of eating might look like?
Let's say you decide on 3 whole-food meals, 2 shakes, and a snack every day. Let's assume your shakes are composed of ultrafiltered skim milk (12 g protein and 8 grams carbohydrate w/ 0g fat per 8oz), 2 scoops whey isolate (40 g protein), a small banana, and 1/2-1 cup frozen strawberries. By themselves, the two protein shakes will supply 130 grams of protein. And remember, at the beginning of this article we said our hypothetical dieter was 200 pounds. Thus your total daily protein goal in grams was 250 grams per day. Hence, you need only consume 120 more grams of protein, divided between 3 whole food meals and your optional snack.
Your total daily calorie and macronutrient allotment breakdown:
Calories: 2,700 Protein: 250 grams, 1,000 Cal Carbohydrate: 310 grams, 1250 Cal Fat: 50 grams, 450 Cal
Note: the caloric/macro breakdown above yields appx 37% protein, 46% carbohydrate, and 17% fat. This differs slightly from the 40/50/10 breakdown we began with but the actual percentages are simply a guide post. If you're more endomorphic you should probably drop the carbohydrates to 37% and raise the fat to make up the difference (or add protein for the same reason). If you're an ectomorph or mesomorph you can handle the 46% carbohydrate level without missing a beat.
Note: Supplemental fats do add additional fat grams (and calories to your daily totals). Thus, your total fat intake will likely be closer to 80 grams per day. You may also take a shot glass or two of extra virgin, cold-pressed organic olive oil 3-5 times per week to increase MUFAs in your diet.
Removing the protein shakes' nutritional values (130 grams protein, 0 grams fat, and roughly 60-120 grams of carbohydrates: one protein shake may be simply protein powder with milk or water and ice) leaves 120 grams of protein, 50 grams of meal-derived fats (excluding supplemental fats) and approximately 190-250 grams of carbohydrates for the remainder of the day. These figures will be spread (evenly or unevenly) over 3 whole-food meals and one snack. This works out to 40 grams of protein, 80 grams of carbohydrates, and about 15-20 grams of fat per meal. Under this scenario, your snack would have to be something like sugar-free jello which has practically no calories whatsoever.
As for how you put together your meals....
Because your list of foods was basic and limited to 15 items you'll have an easy time putting potential menus together. Choose foods from your list and match up their nutritional values to fit the macronutrient and caloric allotment for each of your 3 whole-food meals.
Note: If you need more variety go ahead. The number of different foods you eat has no intrinsic bearing on the results you'll achieve from dieting. I give the 15-item limit to reflect the authenticity of old-school bodybuilding dieting as told by John Romano, the famous bodybuilding author, and for simplicity's sake.
Look up the nutritional value of the various 15 (or more) foods you chose for your diet and write them down on the front page of your diet journal. You're going to want to make use of nutrition labels anytime you deviate from your list of foods. And if you're not accurately eyeing up proper portion sizes you'll want to invest in a food scale. Studies have shown that people who didn't record what they ate often overate far more than what they self-reported they'd eaten. The same goes for people commonly overestimating portion sizes. That's why you're going to record everything you eat and weigh out or measure proper portion sizes.
So how do you know how many calories you should begin the diet with?
There are many useful diet and macro calculators available online. One figure I've come across quite a bit is 15-17 calories per pound of body weight as a good, "average" starting point. For a 200 lb person, this works out to between 3,000 and 3,400 calories per day, which might be a bit high. If consuming even 1.25 grams of protein per pound of body weight that 15-17 cal/lb figure leaves 2,400 "energy" calories to come from carbohydrates and/or fats. Our hypothetical diet above was 2,700 calories with 250 grams of protein for a 200-lb individual.
So the two figures (2,700 cal and 3,000- 3,400 cal are close enough to be compatible and would likely fit any 200 lb hard training individual quite well - but we can't be certain. The only way to do that is to keep a diet journal for a minimum of 7 days where you record every morsel of every foodstuff you consume, each and every day and night. You also tally up your macronutrient totals for each of the seven days. At the end of those seven days, if your weight has remained the same, you have found your homeostatic caloric setpoint.
Add up the total amount of calories consumed over the seven days and then divide the resultant figure by seven. You now have your starting caloric allowance. If you want to gain quality mass you would increase your calories by 10-15%. But, we want to lose fat, so we will cut out starting caloric allowance (homeostatic-setpoint) by 10-15%.
If you simply don't have the discipline to keep a food journal you'll also have trouble keeping track of calories later on in the diet and end up overeating, even if unintentionally. That said, 15-17 cal/lb of body weight is a good average starting range for most lifters.
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Mike Renteria BigMikeRenteria@gmail.com BPVA Summer 2024
Photo: Gunter Schlierkamp, IFBB LEGEND, 2002 GNC SOS CHAMPION (Defeated Reigning Mr Olympia Ronnie Coleman)