Surgical puncture of the chest called
Report to Phlebotomy 3 for meme injection
2019.06.17 18:03 Ozelotten Report to Phlebotomy 3 for meme injection
Reddit General Hospital's blood meme department.
2016.07.31 00:50 dannypdanger Bloodborne: The Tomb Prospectors
If you love Bloodborne, and love running Root Chalice Dungeons, the Tomb Prospectors Covenant will gladly take you in! This community gives shelter to dungeon crawlers—man, beast, and ascended celestial alike—here and on Discord. Please note, Sony has done away with the Communities feature, so they Playstation Network group where this project was born no longer exists.
2016.10.18 15:08 Wouterss Norvasc (Amlodipine): Support and Discuss
Norvasc (Amlodipine) - is an effective strong preparation which is taken in treatment of angina and hypertension diseases. Norvasc acts as an anti-angina and anti-hypertension remedy. Norvasc operates by reducing blood pressure and regulating chest pain through blood provision to the heart.
2024.05.14 18:12 Temporary_Novel_5212 Severe upper left abdominal pain, test results received but no idea what’s next
Could this be kidney stones?
Female, 40s - In pain while waiting to hear next steps from PCP. I received test results last night (see end of post), but PCP has not actually viewed them yet. Feel like I should be doing something but no idea what.
Summary of pain: Friday night felt achey gnawing pain under left ribs that radiated to left shoulder and down left arm. Assumed it was trapped gas after very heavy meal.
The pain was unchanged in the morning so took Gas-X. Eventually maxed out the recommend daily dose. Did lots of burping, but never experienced any relief of pain.
By Saturday afternoon pain was more focused under left rib cage, with flank pain and some tenderness to left of belly button. Periods of INTENSE spasms in upper left abdomen began. Felt like a squeezing and releasing in intestine but no idea what was actually happening. Painful spasms overwhelmed me with every attempt to get a good breath. The pain was SEVERE, the worst I’ve ever felt. I was screaming and begging for help during these episodes, which lasted about 5 minutes each.
This happened three times over a few hours, and each time I seriously considered calling an ambulance but didn’t because of fear of cost and that it would be determined to be “just gas.”
The underlying pain through all of this was constant. By Sunday morning I could no longer take a deep breath due to the severity of constant pain under left ribs, but the spasms didn’t return.
No appetite since Friday, but tried eating a bland meal Sunday evening. Drinking water after meal produced sudden intense pain and feeling of food moving in upper left abdomen. Thought maybe there was a blockage that was clearing. Wondering now if something was just inflamed. Pain only lasted a few seconds and was enough to make me gasp.
Bowel movements small and poorly formed throughout all this. Frequent urgent watery diarrhea started 3am Monday. I went to the doctor on Monday.
It’s now Tuesday, and I am still in terrible pain under my left ribs and into my left side. Cramping sensation with every shallow breath. Sneezing feels like something is tearing. I can’t even complete the sneeze without shouting from the pain. I can’t get a deep breath or cough without triggering sharp pain.
Experiencing occasional involuntary gasps, much like when you take shaky breaths while crying.
Blood oxygen is normal.
Possibly relevant: Two days before this began, I felt intense pulling and cramping in bladder. This came and went along with frequent urination (which exacerbated pain) for a few hours and then it was gone.
No fever. No vomiting. No history of health anxiety or emetephobia, but if I were to need to vomit at this point, I don’t know how I could with current pain level and the way it intensifies with deep breath or exertion. I am frightened.
Summary of doctor’s visit and tests:
Saw primary care doctor yesterday for physical exam. They ordered a urine test, upper left abdominal x-ray, and left lung x-ray.
Results:
ABDOMEN RADIOGRAPHY CLINICAL HISTORY: Acute onset LUQ pain 5/10, still persistant with loose stools, but no fever or vomiting. TECHNIQUE: 1 view. FINDINGS: Bowel Gas Pattern: Within normal limits. No dilated loops.
CHEST RADIOGRAPHY CLINICAL HISTORY: LUQ pain and decreased breath sounds at L lung base Left upper quadrant pain Other abnormalities of breathing. TECHNIQUE: 2 views. FINDINGS: Lungs/Pleura: Minimal left basilar parenchymal opacity. No pneumothorax or significant effusion. Mediastinum: Heart and mediastinal contours are unremarkable.
Urine (Urine, Clean Catch)
Color value: orange Clarity value: turbid pH: 5.5 Specific gravity: 1.019 Protein value: trace Blood value: 2+ Red blood cells value: 3-5 Bacteria value: few Mucus value: 2+ Amorphous crystals value: 2
submitted by Temporary_Novel_5212 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Female, 40s - In pain while waiting to hear next steps from PCP. I received test results last night (see end of post), but PCP has not actually viewed them yet. Feel like I should be doing something but no idea what.
Summary of pain: Friday night felt achey gnawing pain under left ribs that radiated to left shoulder and down left arm. Assumed it was trapped gas after very heavy meal.
The pain was unchanged in the morning so took Gas-X. Eventually maxed out the recommend daily dose. Did lots of burping, but never experienced any relief of pain.
By Saturday afternoon pain was more focused under left rib cage, with flank pain and some tenderness to left of belly button. Periods of INTENSE spasms in upper left abdomen began. Felt like a squeezing and releasing in intestine but no idea what was actually happening. Painful spasms overwhelmed me with every attempt to get a good breath. The pain was SEVERE, the worst I’ve ever felt. I was screaming and begging for help during these episodes, which lasted about 5 minutes each.
This happened three times over a few hours, and each time I seriously considered calling an ambulance but didn’t because of fear of cost and that it would be determined to be “just gas.”
The underlying pain through all of this was constant. By Sunday morning I could no longer take a deep breath due to the severity of constant pain under left ribs, but the spasms didn’t return.
No appetite since Friday, but tried eating a bland meal Sunday evening. Drinking water after meal produced sudden intense pain and feeling of food moving in upper left abdomen. Thought maybe there was a blockage that was clearing. Wondering now if something was just inflamed. Pain only lasted a few seconds and was enough to make me gasp.
Bowel movements small and poorly formed throughout all this. Frequent urgent watery diarrhea started 3am Monday. I went to the doctor on Monday.
It’s now Tuesday, and I am still in terrible pain under my left ribs and into my left side. Cramping sensation with every shallow breath. Sneezing feels like something is tearing. I can’t even complete the sneeze without shouting from the pain. I can’t get a deep breath or cough without triggering sharp pain.
Experiencing occasional involuntary gasps, much like when you take shaky breaths while crying.
Blood oxygen is normal.
Possibly relevant: Two days before this began, I felt intense pulling and cramping in bladder. This came and went along with frequent urination (which exacerbated pain) for a few hours and then it was gone.
No fever. No vomiting. No history of health anxiety or emetephobia, but if I were to need to vomit at this point, I don’t know how I could with current pain level and the way it intensifies with deep breath or exertion. I am frightened.
Summary of doctor’s visit and tests:
Saw primary care doctor yesterday for physical exam. They ordered a urine test, upper left abdominal x-ray, and left lung x-ray.
Results:
ABDOMEN RADIOGRAPHY CLINICAL HISTORY: Acute onset LUQ pain 5/10, still persistant with loose stools, but no fever or vomiting. TECHNIQUE: 1 view. FINDINGS: Bowel Gas Pattern: Within normal limits. No dilated loops.
CHEST RADIOGRAPHY CLINICAL HISTORY: LUQ pain and decreased breath sounds at L lung base Left upper quadrant pain Other abnormalities of breathing. TECHNIQUE: 2 views. FINDINGS: Lungs/Pleura: Minimal left basilar parenchymal opacity. No pneumothorax or significant effusion. Mediastinum: Heart and mediastinal contours are unremarkable.
Urine (Urine, Clean Catch)
Color value: orange Clarity value: turbid pH: 5.5 Specific gravity: 1.019 Protein value: trace Blood value: 2+ Red blood cells value: 3-5 Bacteria value: few Mucus value: 2+ Amorphous crystals value: 2
2024.05.14 18:08 Mophandel Archaeotherium, the King of the White River Badlands
 | Art by Bob Nicholls submitted by Mophandel to badassanimals [link] [comments] Nowadays, when we envision the words “prey,” among modern mammalian fauna, few taxa come to mind as quickly as the hoofed mammals, better known as the ungulates. Indeed, for the better part of their entire evolutionary history, the ungulates have become entirely indistinguishable from the term “prey.” Across their two major modern branches, the artiodactyls (the “even-toed ungulates,” such as bovids, pigs, deer, hippos and giraffes) and the perissodactyls (the “odd-toed ungulates,” including horses, rhinos and tapir), the ungulates too have created an empire spanning nearly every continent, establishing themselves as the the dominant herbivores throughout their entire range. However, as a price for such success, their lot as herbivores have forced them into an unenviable position: being the food for the predators. Indeed, throughout the diets of most modern predators, ungulates make up the majority, if not the entirety, of their diet, becoming their counterparts in this evolutionary dance of theirs. They have become the lamb to their wolf, the zebra to their lion, the stag to their tiger. If there is a predator in need of lunch, chances are that there is an ungulate there to provide it. Of course, such a dynamic is not necessarily a recent innovation. For the last 15-20 million years, across much of the world, both new and old, the ungulates have served as prey for these predators through it all. Over the course of whole epochs, these two groups have played into these roles for millions of years, coevolving with each other in an eons-long game of cat-and-mouse. The shoes they fill are not new, but have existed for ages, and within their niches they have cultivated their roles to perfection. Indeed, with such a tenured history, it seems hardly surprising the ungulates are wholly inseparable from the terms “prey,” itself. However, while this is the case now, as it has been for the last 15-20 million years, go back far enough, and we see that this dynamic is not as set in stone as we would think. Indeed, back during the Eocene and Oligocene, during the very earliest days of age of mammals, things were very different for the ungulates. While today they are considered little more than food for modern predators, during these olden days, the ungulates weren’t quite so benign. In fact, far from being fodder for top predators, the ungulates had turned the tables, instead becoming top predators themselves. Indeed, though nearly unheard of today, throughout much of the Eocene and Oligocene, carnivorous ungulates thrived in abundance, developing specializations for catching large prey and establishing themselves as top predators that competed alongside the more traditional carnivores, and even dominating them in some instances. Given such success, it’s no wonder that multiple such clades had arisen during this time. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of (ironically) hoof-less ungulates with large jaws and sharp teeth for capturing large prey. There were also the mesonychians, a lineage of dog-like ungulates with massive skulls and jaws that allowed them to reign as the top predator across much of the Eocene. However, among these various lineages, one stands stands out among the rest, by far. Arising during the Eocene, this lineage, though superficially resembling modern pigs, hailed from one an ancient lineage of artiodactyls far removed from swine or most other ungulates in general, with few close relatives alive today. Through perhaps not the most predatory of the bunch, it was among the most formidable, as their superficially pig-like appearance came with giant predatory jaws and teeth unlike anything from the modern era. And of course, as if all of that wasn’t enough, this lineage also went on to earn arguably one of the most badass nicknames of any lineage of mammals, period. These predators, of course, were the entelodonts, a.k.a the “hell-pigs.” More so than any other predatory ungulate lineage, these formidable ungulates were the ones to turn the current paradigm upside down, becoming some of the largest and most dominant carnivores in their landscape, even with (and often in spite of) the presence of more traditional predators. Through impressive size, fearsome teeth and sheer tenacity, these animals became the top dogs of their time, ruling as behemoth-kings of their Paleogene kingdoms, domineering all comers, and throughout the ranks, one entelodont in particular demonstrated such dominance the best. Though not the largest or most powerful of their kind, it is one of the most iconic, being among the most well-known members of its lineage to date. Moreover, this enteledont also has some of the most complete life histories ever seen out of this clade, with its brutality and predatory prowess being displayed in the fossil record in a way seen in no other member of its kind. More than anything else, however, it was this predator that best turned the notion of “ungulates being prey” on its head, living in an environment that bore some of the largest carnivoran hypercarnivores to date and still reigning as the undisputed top predator of its domain. This fearsome beast was none other than Archaeotherium, icon of the entelodonts, terror of the Oligocene American west and undisputed king of the White River badlands. The rise of Archaeotherium (and of entelodonts in general) is closely tied to the ascendancy of carnivorous ungulates as a whole, one of the earliest evolutionary success stories of the entire Cenozoic. Having become their own derived clade since the late Cretaceous, the ungulates were remarkably successful during the early Paleogene, as they were among the first mammalian clades to reach large sizes during those early days after the non-avian dinosaurs had gone extinct. As such, it was with incredible swiftness that, as the Paleogene progressed, the ungulates swooped upon the various niches left empty by the K-Pg mass extinction that killed the dinosaurs. This of course included the herbivorous niches we would know them for today, but this also included other, much more carnivore roles. Indeed, early on during the Paleogene, it was the ungulates that first seized the roles of large mammalian predators, becoming some the earliest large mammalian carnivores to ever live, well before even the carnivorans. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of vaguely dog-like, hoof-less ungulates with robust jaws and sharpened teeth that acted as some of earliest large carnivores of the Paleocene, with genera such as Arctocyon mumak getting up to the size of big cats. Even more prolific were the mesonychids. More so than what pretty much any other lineage of predator, it was the mesonychids that would stand out as the earliest dominant predators of the early Cenozoic. Growing up to the size of bears and with enormous, bone-crushing jaws, the mesonychids were among the most powerful and successful predators on the market at that time, with a near-global range and being capable of subjugating just about any other predator in their environments. Indeed, they, along with other carnivorous ungulates (as well as ungulates in general), were experiencing a golden age during this time, easily being the most prolific predators of the age. Given such prevalence, it should be no surprise that there would be yet another lineage of predatory ungulates would throw their hat into the ring, and by early Eocene, that contender would none other than the entelodonts. The very first entelodonts had arisen from artiodactyl ancestors during the Eocene epoch, at a time when artiodactyls were far more diverse and bizarre than they are now. Through today known from their modern herbivorous representatives such as bovines, deer, and antelope, during the Paleocene and Eocene, the artiodacyls, as with most ungulates of that time, were stronger and far more predaceous, particularly when it came to one such clade of artiodactyls, the cetacodontamorphs. Only known today from hippos and another group of artiodactyls (one which will become relevant later), the cetacodantomorphs emerged out of Asia around 55 million years ago, at around the same time that artiodactyls themselves had made their debut. These animals included the first truly predatory artiodactyls, with many of them possessing large skulls with powerful jaws and sharp, predatory teeth. Among their ranks included animals as puny as Indohyus, a piscivorous artiodactyl the size of a cat, to as formidable as Andrewsarchus, a giant, bison-sized predator often touted as one of the largest predatory mammals to ever live. Given such a predatory disposition, it wouldn’t be long until this clade produced a lineage of truly diverse, truly successful predators, and by around 40 million years ago, that is exactly what they did, as it was at that time that the entelodonts themselves first emerged. From their Asian homeland, the entelodonts spread across the world, spreading through not only most of Eurasia but also colonizing North America as well, with genera such as Brachyhyops being found across both continents. Here, in this North American frontier, the entelodonts began to diversify further, turning into their most successful and formidable forms yet, and it was around the late Eocene and early Oligocene that Archaeotherium itself had entered the scene. Just from a passing glance at Archaeotherium, it is clear how exactly it (as well as the other entelodonts) earned the nickname of “hell-pigs.” It was a bruiser for starters; its body bore a robust, pig-like physique, with prominent neural spines and their associated musculature forming a hump around the shoulder region, similar to the hump of a bison. With such a bulky physique came with it impressive size; the average A. mortoni had a head-body length of roughly 1.6-2.0 m (5.3-6.6 ft), a shoulder height of 1.2 m (4 ft) and a body mass of around 180 kg (396 lb) in weight (Boardman & Secord, 2013; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes, an adult Archaeotherium the size of a large male black bear. However, they had the potential to get even bigger. While most Archaeotherium specimens were around the size described above, a select few specimens, labeled under the synonymous genus “Megachoerus,” are found to be much larger, with skulls getting up to 66% longer than average A. mortoni specimens (Foss, 2001; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes and using isometric scaling, such massive Archaeotherium specimens would attained body lengths over 2.5 m (8.2 ft) and would have reached weighs well over 500 kg (1100 lb), or as big as a mature male polar bear. Indeed, at such sizes, it is already abundantly evident that Archaeotherium is a force to be recorded with. However, there was more to these formidable animals than sheer size alone. Behind all that bulk was an astoundingly swift and graceful predator, especially in terms of locomotion. Indeed, the hoofed feet of Archaeotherium, along with other entelodonts, sported several adaptations that gave it incredible locomotive efficiency, essentially turning it into a speed demon of the badlands. Such adaptations include longer distal leg elements (e.g. the radius and tibia) than their proximal counterparts (e.g. the humerus and femur), fusion of the radius and ulna for increased running efficiency, the loss of the clavicle (collar-bone) to allow for greater leg length, the loss of the acromion to enhance leg movement along the fore-and-aft plane, the loss of digits to reduce the mass of the forelimb, the fusion of the ectocuneiform and the mesocuneiform wrist-bones, among many other such traits (Theodore, 1996) . Perhaps most significant of these adaptations is the evolution of the “double-pulley astragalus (ankle-bone),” a specialized modification of the ankle that, while restricting rotation and side-to-side movement at the ankle-joint, allows for greater rotation in the fore-and-aft direction, thus allowing for more more powerful propulsion from the limbs, faster extension and retraction of the limbs and overall greater locomotive efficiency (Foss, 2001). Of course, such a trait was not only found in entelodonts but in artiodactyls as a whole, likely being a response to predatory pressures from incumbent predatory clades arising at the same time as the artiodactyls (Foss, 2001). However, in the case of the entelodonts, such adaptations were not used for merely escaping predators. Rather, they were used to for another, much more lethal effect… Such notions are further reinforced by the entelodonts most formidable aspect, none either than their fearsome jaws, and in this respect, Archaeotherium excelled. Both for its size and in general, the head of Archaeotherium was massive, measuring 40-50 cm (1.3-1.6 ft) in length among average A. mortoni specimens, to up to 78 cm (~2.6 ft) in the larger “Megachoerus” specimens (Joeckel, 1990). Such massive skulls were supported and supplemented by equally massive neck muscles and ligaments, which attached to massive neural spines on the anterior thoracic vertebrae akin to a bisons hump as well as to the sternum, allowing Archaeotherium to keep its head aloft despite the skulls massive size (Effinger, 1998). Of course, with such a massive skull, it should come as no surprise that such skulls housed exceptionally formidable jaws as well, and indeed, the bite of Archaeotherium was an especially deadly one. Its zygomatic arches (cheek-bones) and its temporal fossa were enlarged and expanded, indicative of massive temporalis muscles that afforded Archaeotherium astoundingly powerful bites (Joeckel, 1990). This is further augmented by Archaeotherium’s massive jugal flanges (bony projections of the cheek), which supported powerful masseter muscles which enhanced chewing and mastication, as well as an enlarged postorbital bar that reinforced the skull against torsional stresses (Foss, 2001). Last but not least, powerful jaws are supplemented by an enlarged gape, facilitated by a low coronoid process and enlarged posterior mandibular tubercles (bony projections originating from the lower jaw), which provided an insertion site for sternum-to-mandible jaw abduction muscles, allowing for a more forceful opening of the jaw (Foss, 2001). All together, such traits suggest a massive and incredibly fearsome bite, perhaps the most formidable of any animal in its environment. Of course, none of such traits are especially indicative of a predatory lifestyle. Indeed, many modern non-predatory ungulates, like hippos, pigs and peccaries, also possess large, formidable skulls and jaws. However, in peeling back the layers, it is found there was more to the skull of Archaeotherium that lies in store. Indeed, when inspecting the animal closely, a unique mosaic of features is revealed; traits that make it out to be much more lethal than the average artiodactyl. On one hand, Archaeotherium possessed many traits similar to those of herbivores animals, as is expected of ungulates. For instance, its jaw musculature that allowed the lower jaw of Archaeotherium a full side-to-side chewing motion as in herbivores (whereas most carnivores can only move their lower jaw up and down)(Effinger, 1998). On the other hand, Archaeotherium wielded many other traits far more lethal in their morphology, less akin to a herbivore and far more akin to a bonafide predator. For instance, the aforementioned enlarged gape of Archaeotherium is a bizarre trait on a supposed herbivore, as such animals do not need large gapes to eat vegetation and thus have smaller, more restricted gapes. Conversely, many predatory lineages have comparatively large gapes, as larger gapes allow for the the jaws to grab on to more effectively larger objects, namely large prey animals (Joeckel, 1990). Such a juxtaposition, however, is most evident when discussing the real killing instruments of Archaeotherium — the teeth. More so than any facet of this animal, the teeth of Archaeotherium are the real stars of the show, showing both how alike it was compared to its herbivores counterparts and more importantly, how it couldn’t be more different. For instance, the molars of Archaeotherium were quite similar to modern herbivores ungulates, in that they were robust, bunodont, and were designed for crushing and grinding, similar in form and function to modern ungulates like peccaries (Joeckel, 1990). However, while the molars give the impression that Archaeotherium was a herbivore, the other teeth tell a very different story. The incisors, for example, were enlarged, sharpened, and fully interlocked (as opposed to the flat-topped incisors seen in herbivores ungulates), creating an incisor array that was seemingly ill-suited for cropping vegetation and much more adept at for gripping, puncturing and cutting (Joeckel, 1990). Even more formidable were the canines. Like the modern pigs from which entelodonts derived their nicknames, the canines of Archaeotherium were sharp and enlarged to form prominent tusk-like teeth, but unlike pigs, they were rounded in cross-section (similar to modern carnivores like big cats, indicating more durable canines that can absorb and resist torsional forces, such as those from struggling prey) and were serrated to form a distinct cutting edge (Effinger, 1998; Joeckel, 1990; Ruff & Van Valkenburgh, 1987). These canines, along with the incisors, interlock to stabilize the jaws while biting and dismantling in a carnivore-like fashion. More strikingly, the canines also seem to act as “occlusal guides,” wherein the canines help align the movement and position of the rear teeth as they come together, allowing for a more efficient shearing action by the rear teeth. This function is seen most prevalently modern carnivorous mammals, and is evidenced by the canine tooth-wear, which is also analogous to modern predators like bears and canids (Joeckel, 1990). Indeed, going off such teeth alone, it is clear that Archaeotherium is far more predatory than expected of an ungulate. However, the real stars of the show, the teeth that truly betray the predatory nature of these ungulates, are the premolars. Perhaps the most carnivore-like teeth in the entelodont’s entire tooth row, the premolars of Archaeotherium, particularly the anterior premolars, are laterally compressed, somewhat conical in shape, and are weakly serrated to bear a cutting edge, giving them a somewhat carnivorous form and function of shearing and slicing (Effinger, 1998). Most strikingly of all, the premolars of Archaeotherium bear unique features similar not to modern herbivores, but to durophagous carnivores like hyenas, particularly apical wear patterns, highly thickened enamel, “zigzag-shaped” enamel prism layers (Hunter-Schraeger bands) on the premolars which is also seen in osteophagous animals like hyenas, and an interlocking premolar interface wherein linear objects (such as bones) inserted into jaws from the side would be pinned between the premolars and crushed (Foss, 2001). Taken together, these features do not suggest a diet of grass or vegetation like other ungulates. Rather, they suggest a far more violent diet, one including flesh as well as hard, durable foods, particularly bone. All in all, the evidence is clear. Archaeotherium and other entelodonts, unlike the rest of their artiodactyl kin, were not the passive herbivores as we envision ungulates today. Rather, they were willing, unrepentant meat-eaters that had a taste for flesh as well as foliage. Of course, even with such lines of evidence, its hard to conclude that Archaeotherium was a true predator. After all, its wide gape and durophagous teeth could have just as easily been used for scavenging or even to eat tough plant matter such as seeds or nuts, as in peccaries and pigs, which themselves share many of the same adaptations as Archaeotherium, include the more carnivorous ones (e.g. the wide gape, using the canines as an occlusal guide, etc.). How exactly do we know that these things were veritable predators and not pretenders to the title. To this end, there is yet one last piece of evidence, one that puts on full display the predatory prowess of Archaeotherium —evidence of a kill itself. Found within oligocene-aged sediment in what is now Wyoming, a collection of various fossil remains was found, each belonging to the ancient sheep-sized camel Poebrotherium, with many of the skeletal remains being disarticulated and even missing whole hindlimbs or even entire rear halves of their body. Tellingly, many of the remains bear extensive bite marks and puncture wounds across their surface. Upon close examination, the spacing and size of the punctures leave only one culprit: Archaeotherium. Of course, such an event could still have been scavenging; the entelodonts were consuming the remains of already dead, decomposed camels, explaining the bite marks. What was far more telling, however, was where the bite marks were found. In addition bite marks being found on the torso and lumbar regions of the camels, various puncture wounds were found on the skull and neck, which were otherwise uneaten. Scavengers rarely feast on the head to begin with; there is very little worthwhile meat on it besides the brain, cheek-muscles and eyes, and even if they did feed on the skull and neck, they would still eat it wholesale, not merely bite it and then leave it otherwise untouched. Indeed, it was clear that this was no mere scavenging event. Rather than merely consuming these camels, Archaeotherium was actively preying upon and killing them, dispatching them via a crushing bite to the skull or neck before dismembering and even bisecting the hapless camels with their powerful jaws to preferentially feast on their hindquarters (likely by swallowing the hindquarters whole, as the pelvis of Poebrotherium was coincidentally the perfect width for Archaeotherium to devour whole), eventually discarding the leftovers in meat caches for later consumption (Sundell, 1999). With this finding, such a feat of brutality leaves no doubt in ones mind as to what the true nature of Archaeotherium was. This was no herbivore, nor was it a simple scavenger. This was an active, rapacious predator, the most powerful in its entire ecosystem. Indeed, with such brutal evidence of predation frozen in time, combined with various dental, cranial, and post cranial adaptations of this formidable animal, it’s possible to paint a picture of how this formidable creature lived. Though an omnivore by trade, willing and able to feast on plant matter such as grass, roots and tubers, Archaeotherium was also a wanton predator that took just about any prey it wanted. Upon detecting its prey, it approached its vicim from ambush before launching itself at blazing speed. From there, its cursorial, hoofed legs, used by other ungulates for escape predation, were here employed to capture prey, carrying it at great speeds as it caught up to its quarry. Having closed the distance with its target, it was then that the entelodont brought its jaws to bear, grabbing hold of the victim with powerful jaws and gripping teeth to bring it to a screeching halt. If the victim is lucky, Archaeotherium will then kill it quickly with a crushing bite to the skull or neck, puncturing the brain or spinal cord and killing its target instantly. If not, the victim is eaten alive, torn apart while it’s still kicking, as modern boars will do today. In any case, incapacitated prey are subsequently dismantled, with the entelodont using its entire head and heavily-muscled necks to bite into and pull apart its victim in devastating “puncture-and pull’ bites (Foss, 2001). Prey would then finally be consumed starting at the hindquarters, with not even the bones of its prey being spared. Such brutality, though far from clean, drove home a singular truth: that during this time, ungulates were not just prey, that they were not the mere “predator-fodder” we know them as today. rather, they themselves were the predators themselves, dominating as superb hunters within their domain and even suppressing clades we know as predators today, least of all the carnivorans. Indeed, during this point in time, the age of the carnivorous ungulates had hit their stride, and more specifically, the age of entelodonts had begun. Of course, more so than any other entelodont, Archaeotherium took to this new age with gusto. Archaeotherium lived from 35-28 million years ago during the late Eocene and early Oligocene in a locality known today as the White River Badlands, a fossil locality nestled along the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains. Though a chalky, barren landscape today, during the time of Archaeotherium, the White River Badlands was a swamp-like floodplain crisscrossed with rivers and interspersed with by a mosaic of forests concentrated around waterways, open woodlands and open plains. As with most ecosystems with such a lush disposition, this locale teemed with life, with ancient hornless rhinos, small horse-like hyracodonts and early camels roaming the open habitats while giant brontotheres, small early horses and strange, sheep-like ungulates called merycoidodonts (also known as “oreodonts”) dwelled within the dense forests. Within this locale, Archaeotherium stalked the open woodlands and riparian forests of its domain. Here, it acted as a dominant predator and scavenger across is territory, filling a niche similar to modern grizzly bears but far more predatory. Among its preferred food items would be plant matter such as roots, foliage and nuts, but also meat in the form of carrion or freshly caught prey. In this respect, smaller ungulates such as the fleet-footed camel Poebrotherium, a known prey item of Archaeotherium, would have made a for choice prey, as its small size would make it easy for Archaeotherium to dispatch with its powerful jaws, while the entelodonts swift legs gave it the speed necessary to keep pace with its agile prey. However, the entelodont didn’t have such a feast all to itself. Just as the badlands teemed with herbivores, so too did it teem with rival predators. Among their ranks included fearsome predators such as Hyaenodon, a powerful, vaguely dog-like predator up to the size of wolves (as in H. horridus) or even lions (as in the Eocene-aged H. megaloides, which was replaced by H. horridus during the Oligocene). Armed with a massive head, fierce jaws and a set of knife-like teeth that could cut down even large prey in seconds, these were some of the most formidable predators on the landscape. There were also the nimravids, cat-like carnivorans that bore saber-teeth to kill large prey in seconds, and included the likes of the lynx-sized Dinictis, the leopard-sized Hoplophoneus and even the jaguar-sized Eusmilus. Furthermore, there were amphicyonids, better known as the bear-dogs. Though known from much larger forms later on in their existence, during the late Eocene and Oligocene, they were much smaller and acted as the “canid-analogues” of the ecosystem, filling a role similar to wolves or coyotes. Last but not least, there were the bathornithid birds, huge cariamiform birds related to modern seriemas but much larger, which filled a niche similar to modern seriemas or secretary birds, albeit on a much larger scale. Given such competition, it would seem that Archaeotherium would have its hands full. However, things are not as they appear. For starters, habitat differences would mitigate high amounts of competition, as both Hyaenodon and the various nimravids occupy more specialized ecological roles (being a plains-specialist and forest-specialist, respectively) than did Archaeotherium, providing a buffer to stave off competition: More importantly, however, none of the aforementioned predators were simply big enough to take Archaeotherium on. During the roughly 7 million years existence of Archaeotherium, the only carnivore that matched it in size was H. megaloides, and even that would have an only applied to average A. mortoni individuals, not to the much larger, bison-sized “Megachoerus” individuals. The next largest predator at that point would be the jaguars-sized Eusmilus (specifically E. adelos) which would have only been a bit more than half the size of even an average A. mortoni. Besides that, virtually every other predator on the landscape was simply outclassed by the much larger entelodont in terms of size and brute strength. As such, within its domain, Archaeotherium had total, unquestioned authority, dominating the other predators in the landscape and likely stealing their kills as well. In fact, just about the only threat Archaeotherium had was other Archaeotherium, as fossil bite marks suggest that this animal regularly and fraglantly engaged in intraspecific combat, usually through face-biting and possibly even jaw-wrestling (Effinger, 1998; Tanke & Currie, 1998). Nevertheless, it was clear that Archaeotherium was the undisputed king of the badlands; in a landscape of hyaenodonts and carnivorans galore, it was a hoofed ungulate that reigned supreme. However, such a reign would not last. As the Eocene transitioned into the Eocene, the planet underwent an abrupt cooling and drying phase known as Eocene-Oligocene Transition or more simply the Grande Coupure. This change in climate would eliminate the sprawling wetlands and river systems that Archaeotherium had been depending on, gradually replacing it with drier and more open habitats. To its credit, Archaeotherium did manage to hang on, persisting well after the Grand-Coupure had taken place, but in the end the damage had been done; Archaeotherium was a dead-man-walking. Eventually, by around 28 million years ago, Archaeotherium would go extinct, perishing due to this change in global climate (Gillham, 2019). Entelodonts as a whole would persist into the Miocene, producing some of their largest forms ever known in the form of the bison-sized Daeodon (which was itself even more carnivorous than Archaeotherium), however they too would meet the same fate as their earlier cousins. By around 15-20 million years ago, entelodonts as a whole would go extinct. However, while the entelodonts may have perished, this was not the end of carnivorous ungulates as a whole. Recall that the cetacodontamorphs, the lineage of artiodactyls that produced the entelodonts, left behind two living descendants. The first among them were the hippos, themselves fairly frequent herbivores. The second of such lineage, however, was a different story. Emerging out of South Asia, this lineage of piscivorous cetacodontamorphs, in a an attempt to further specialize for the fish-hunting lifestyle, began to delve further and further into the water, becoming more and more aquatic and the millennia passed by. At a certain point, these carnivorous artiodactlys had become something completely unrecognizable from their original hoofed forms. Their skin became hairless and their bodies became streamlined for life in water. Their hoofed limbs grew into giant flippers for steering in the water and their previously tiny tails became massive and sported giant tail flukes for aquatic propulsion. Their noses even moved to the tip of their head, becoming a blowhole that would be signature to this clade as a whole. Indeed, this clade was none other than the modern whales, themselves derived, carnivorous ungulates that had specialized for a life in the water, and in doing so, became the some of the most dominant aquatic predators across the globe for millions of years. Indeed, though long gone, the legacy of the entelodonts and of predatory ungulates as a whole, a legacy Archaeotherium itself had helped foster, lives on in these paragons of predatory prowess, showing that the ungulates are more than just the mere “prey” that they are often made out to be. Moreover, given the success that carnivorous ungulates had enjoyed in the past and given how modern omnivorous ungulates like boar dabble in predation themselves, perhaps, in the distant future, this planet may see the rise of carnivorous ungulates once again, following in the footsteps left behind by Archaeotherium and the other predatory ungulates all those millions of years ago. |
2024.05.14 18:03 WavyQ95 The best thing we can do as Kendrick fans now that the beef is done.
With so much evidence of Drake hanging around and being inappropriate around underage girls, we have to really ask ourselves if we will continue to support Drake?
Personally I liked some Drake songs, I cannot deny he has talent but the fact that Kendrick called him out on his weird behavior is the main thing to take away from this.
No 23 year old man should be telling a 17 year old girl how good her breasts feel on his chest.
No 30+ year old man should be talking to 16 year olds and dating them as soon as they turn 18. No 30 year old man should even be spending any time with ANY 16 year old girl.
No 32 year old man should be texting a 14 year old “I miss you so much” and giving her “boy advice”.
No grown man should be a “fan” of girl’s HIGH SCHOOL basketball unless it’s their daughter playing.
Too many questionable relationships and actions. I’m personally done listening to any of his music. I suggest you all reflect too.
submitted by WavyQ95 to KendrickLamar [link] [comments]
Personally I liked some Drake songs, I cannot deny he has talent but the fact that Kendrick called him out on his weird behavior is the main thing to take away from this.
No 23 year old man should be telling a 17 year old girl how good her breasts feel on his chest.
No 30+ year old man should be talking to 16 year olds and dating them as soon as they turn 18. No 30 year old man should even be spending any time with ANY 16 year old girl.
No 32 year old man should be texting a 14 year old “I miss you so much” and giving her “boy advice”.
No grown man should be a “fan” of girl’s HIGH SCHOOL basketball unless it’s their daughter playing.
Too many questionable relationships and actions. I’m personally done listening to any of his music. I suggest you all reflect too.
2024.05.14 17:53 Sprinkled-Bread Can't disclose my relationship to my father
Sorry if grammar, vocab. is off, not my first language
The title is pretty self explanatory. I've been in a relationship with this guy for a year so far(both 21). We're going strong and he's been the sweetest. I know it's still early to think about the future but I just can't help it.
My mum really likes him, she has met him and they're really close. She also thinks we got a pretty solid relationship. I've met his parents and they're such sweet people. But my father doesn't even know that I'm in a relationship. He has a history of serious physical and mental abuse towards us. I'm talking 'pointing a literal gun at you and make your daughter watch' abuse. No we couldn't get help because certain conditions protects him. Don't wanna give away too many personal details. Mum didn't get a divorce basically because of me and my brother. She knew she couldn't afford our education without his funding. He likes to act like nothing happened but I can not.
While it is true that my father has been wondering about me possibly getting in a relationship and been acting much understanding I don't think that's a genuine wonder. Since just before my relationship with my current bf he apparently did say (to my mum) "she isn't calling us, she probably got a boyfriend" with a word that is pretty much has the same meaning as slut. I did not. I just don't like phone calls and I tend to forget stuff like this. The problem isn't even the calls, one of the earliest examples of this kind of behavior was when I was 7. He called me a whore for saying that I would've chosen the other wedding dress while watching say yes to the dress. Again, I was 7.
This feels like such a small problem compared to what I've seen on this sub lol I at least can tell all the little stories to my mum, but well I just wanted to get this off my chest.
submitted by Sprinkled-Bread to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
The title is pretty self explanatory. I've been in a relationship with this guy for a year so far(both 21). We're going strong and he's been the sweetest. I know it's still early to think about the future but I just can't help it.
My mum really likes him, she has met him and they're really close. She also thinks we got a pretty solid relationship. I've met his parents and they're such sweet people. But my father doesn't even know that I'm in a relationship. He has a history of serious physical and mental abuse towards us. I'm talking 'pointing a literal gun at you and make your daughter watch' abuse. No we couldn't get help because certain conditions protects him. Don't wanna give away too many personal details. Mum didn't get a divorce basically because of me and my brother. She knew she couldn't afford our education without his funding. He likes to act like nothing happened but I can not.
While it is true that my father has been wondering about me possibly getting in a relationship and been acting much understanding I don't think that's a genuine wonder. Since just before my relationship with my current bf he apparently did say (to my mum) "she isn't calling us, she probably got a boyfriend" with a word that is pretty much has the same meaning as slut. I did not. I just don't like phone calls and I tend to forget stuff like this. The problem isn't even the calls, one of the earliest examples of this kind of behavior was when I was 7. He called me a whore for saying that I would've chosen the other wedding dress while watching say yes to the dress. Again, I was 7.
This feels like such a small problem compared to what I've seen on this sub lol I at least can tell all the little stories to my mum, but well I just wanted to get this off my chest.
2024.05.14 17:52 Key-Cauliflower-8843 I KNEW IT! Moderate OSA
So, I've been struggling. And I'm so grateful I found this sub. My doctor home study came back that I didn't have sleep apnea- but nothing felt right about that study. Nothing was on my chest, etc. it was just a head thing that had a couple sensors, and an a nose tube thing. I had it on too tight and loosened it during the night and I was SURE I did it wrong. I also didn't sleep well at all for there to be much data- but the doctor said there was and I did the appointment with him-- just for him to say I don't have it, but if I wanted I could do a lab study, but I'm still waiting for that to go through insurance and I started this process in February.
Thanks to this sub I "just knew" SA explains a lot of my health concerns and symptoms, etc. and I'm LITERALLY sick and tired of waiting for the medical and insurance systems here... so I researched and bit the bullet and did the payment option for a Lofta test. Results in- and YEP... Moderate sleep apnea with 20.5 hourly events and 139 total events for the night.
I have my follow up appointment next Monday as this is a super busy time of year (I'm a high school counselor). I'm going to call my insurance and see if they'll still cover a CPAP, etc. with a prescription from Lofta. I honestly feel a sense of relief at the diagnosis and having that "officially". I know some feel negatively about the diagnosis and CPAP- and that's valid. BUT, I've been suffering for SO LONG- having it all make sense is a relief. At least knowing what I need to "figure out" is a start. I understand starting CPAP may come with its own challenges, but I'm prepared.
submitted by Key-Cauliflower-8843 to SleepApnea [link] [comments]
Thanks to this sub I "just knew" SA explains a lot of my health concerns and symptoms, etc. and I'm LITERALLY sick and tired of waiting for the medical and insurance systems here... so I researched and bit the bullet and did the payment option for a Lofta test. Results in- and YEP... Moderate sleep apnea with 20.5 hourly events and 139 total events for the night.
I have my follow up appointment next Monday as this is a super busy time of year (I'm a high school counselor). I'm going to call my insurance and see if they'll still cover a CPAP, etc. with a prescription from Lofta. I honestly feel a sense of relief at the diagnosis and having that "officially". I know some feel negatively about the diagnosis and CPAP- and that's valid. BUT, I've been suffering for SO LONG- having it all make sense is a relief. At least knowing what I need to "figure out" is a start. I understand starting CPAP may come with its own challenges, but I'm prepared.
2024.05.14 17:39 Always-An-Effort Why match with someone thinking you can "overlook" something about someone's appearance then change your mind after a date?
I have a condition called exotropic strabismus, so basically my eyes aren't straight. It's something I've had since I was a child. I'm very clear about it on my dating profile as it's pretty obvious. Yesterday after work I went for a coffee date (I always do this before a "proper" first date to take the pressure off) with a guy I matched with. I thought we had a great time, he was really nice, easy conversation, lots of laughs, but this morning he messaged me to say that although he thought I was pretty and nice, blah blah blah, he just can't get past "my wonky eye" and he doesn't see us going anywhere.
This is the third time this has happened in the past few months and I wanted to get it off my chest as I'm feeling a mix of self pity and anger. It's very clear from my pictures what I look like and I've always been upfront about it. But every time this happens they always say something along the lines of "I thought I could ignore it / overlook it" or whatever. It's so frustrating and disheartening. I get that he was being honest and upfront, and that's fine, I appreciate that, as it saves either of us wasting our time. But why match with me in the first place if it's going to bother you? I don't get it.
submitted by Always-An-Effort to offmychest [link] [comments]
This is the third time this has happened in the past few months and I wanted to get it off my chest as I'm feeling a mix of self pity and anger. It's very clear from my pictures what I look like and I've always been upfront about it. But every time this happens they always say something along the lines of "I thought I could ignore it / overlook it" or whatever. It's so frustrating and disheartening. I get that he was being honest and upfront, and that's fine, I appreciate that, as it saves either of us wasting our time. But why match with me in the first place if it's going to bother you? I don't get it.
2024.05.14 17:38 BronxDo How do I admit my feelings to this girl without scaring her away?
I am 24M, she is 24F, we've been friends for 3 years.
A bit of context is required I met (We'll call her Sam) on tinder in early 2021. We chatted for a bit and I ended up getting her instagram and that's where we chatted from that point forwards. Initially we were talking everyday, if not back and forth, then maybe at the start and end of the day as we were both working. Eventually I asked Sam to grab a coffee, she declined (specifically she actually ignored it the first time i asked, I'm not sure whether out shyness, or distrust or whatever, but she made it clear that she didn't have a lot of free time due to study and work when i asked why she ignored it) we continued talking anyway, a few months later, I asked again, I got the same old tune of "i'm soo busy im sorry" kinda vibe and eventually I gave up asking but we remained talking, I still very much liked her and found her pretty.
The talking dwindled, sometimes she'd take 1 or 2 days to get back to me, days became weeks, then there were periods inbetween of hearing from her more freqeuntly, then back to a week, or a day, or several weeks, it fluctuated a lot. I had just accepted that, she probably saw me as an overseas friend (shes an international student) and wouldn't ever be interested in meeting. But still we remained talking, eventually it normalised to talking to each other about once a week, this continued for almost a year I'd say, we'd share occasional funny videos, respond to each others stories and just talk about life.
Fast forward to early 2023, I asked her if she wanted to finally meet up as we'd been talking more recently, and we did. We went to a bar, had some drinks, grabbed dinner and then walked around the city, it was a great night, I felt excited because we finally met each other in person and she was lovely, soft spoken, smart and pretty, she even asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her the next day during her lunch, and we did, and i thought this is where things would take off, but after that day, things slowly drifted back to the way things were, it would be a year before I saw her again (just this last week) and before that, we had gone months without talking at times (I had an interesting year and a lot of distractions, I'm sure Sam did too) but we still remained talking somewhat, even talking about meeting up again eventually.
Fast forward to last week, we meet up (we tried to earlier but I was going through some heavy stuff for the last 5 months that left me disinterested in taking care of myself, let alone trying to "date") we grabbed dinner, and the night was just great, conversation flowed, we were buying rounds for each other, whilst we were eating she at times would just plonk stuff from her bowl into mine and would tell me "try this", "try that" etc, we then went to get some cocktails at some different bars, we were chatting about music, cars, our lives and stuff, I was smitten by her, we then went and got ice cream and we were sharing them with spoons and then I walked her back to her apartment, hugged, said goodbye (we also promised we'd see each other soon). I was sold that I really liked this girl, shes gorgeous, I love her energy, her sweetness, she is quite literally a breath of fresh air in an unfortunate dating history of mine where I've been strung along/lied to. I LIKE this girl a lot. I can't get her out of my head, we talked a bit the next day, and now the talking is starting to diminish again, for example we spoke on sunday, then she didnt respond to me til yesterday, which was just a video (she didn't actually reply to anything I said, which isn't totally unusual she has done that before) and I'm just stuck wondering what she thinks of me, everyone I've spoken to said that was a date.
I was going to send her a message the night of that basically would have said that I have feelings for her, and I would want to know if im barking up the wrong tree looking for a relationship with her but was talked out of it by a friend, but eventually I'll have to say something, whether that results in her not wanting any kind of serious relationship or not, I just need to get this off my chest. Any tips for me? Feel free to ask any questions, this is a rather layered story. I know some of you are probably thinking, 'the fuck is wrong with this guy? shes clearly not interested' or 'shes using you' but like man the date/catch up was genuinley so good, that's why im so fucking confused. Is it me? is it her? What should I do?
btw we have agreed to see a movie sometime in the next two weeks. aswell go out to dinner w some of her friends eventually too
TLDR: I have talked to this girl for 3 years, we have met up 3 times, i have feelings for her and the label to what we are is unclear, I need advice on how to admit to her i have feelings without scaring her away, and peoples opinions on whats going on here.
submitted by BronxDo to relationships [link] [comments]
A bit of context is required I met (We'll call her Sam) on tinder in early 2021. We chatted for a bit and I ended up getting her instagram and that's where we chatted from that point forwards. Initially we were talking everyday, if not back and forth, then maybe at the start and end of the day as we were both working. Eventually I asked Sam to grab a coffee, she declined (specifically she actually ignored it the first time i asked, I'm not sure whether out shyness, or distrust or whatever, but she made it clear that she didn't have a lot of free time due to study and work when i asked why she ignored it) we continued talking anyway, a few months later, I asked again, I got the same old tune of "i'm soo busy im sorry" kinda vibe and eventually I gave up asking but we remained talking, I still very much liked her and found her pretty.
The talking dwindled, sometimes she'd take 1 or 2 days to get back to me, days became weeks, then there were periods inbetween of hearing from her more freqeuntly, then back to a week, or a day, or several weeks, it fluctuated a lot. I had just accepted that, she probably saw me as an overseas friend (shes an international student) and wouldn't ever be interested in meeting. But still we remained talking, eventually it normalised to talking to each other about once a week, this continued for almost a year I'd say, we'd share occasional funny videos, respond to each others stories and just talk about life.
Fast forward to early 2023, I asked her if she wanted to finally meet up as we'd been talking more recently, and we did. We went to a bar, had some drinks, grabbed dinner and then walked around the city, it was a great night, I felt excited because we finally met each other in person and she was lovely, soft spoken, smart and pretty, she even asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her the next day during her lunch, and we did, and i thought this is where things would take off, but after that day, things slowly drifted back to the way things were, it would be a year before I saw her again (just this last week) and before that, we had gone months without talking at times (I had an interesting year and a lot of distractions, I'm sure Sam did too) but we still remained talking somewhat, even talking about meeting up again eventually.
Fast forward to last week, we meet up (we tried to earlier but I was going through some heavy stuff for the last 5 months that left me disinterested in taking care of myself, let alone trying to "date") we grabbed dinner, and the night was just great, conversation flowed, we were buying rounds for each other, whilst we were eating she at times would just plonk stuff from her bowl into mine and would tell me "try this", "try that" etc, we then went to get some cocktails at some different bars, we were chatting about music, cars, our lives and stuff, I was smitten by her, we then went and got ice cream and we were sharing them with spoons and then I walked her back to her apartment, hugged, said goodbye (we also promised we'd see each other soon). I was sold that I really liked this girl, shes gorgeous, I love her energy, her sweetness, she is quite literally a breath of fresh air in an unfortunate dating history of mine where I've been strung along/lied to. I LIKE this girl a lot. I can't get her out of my head, we talked a bit the next day, and now the talking is starting to diminish again, for example we spoke on sunday, then she didnt respond to me til yesterday, which was just a video (she didn't actually reply to anything I said, which isn't totally unusual she has done that before) and I'm just stuck wondering what she thinks of me, everyone I've spoken to said that was a date.
I was going to send her a message the night of that basically would have said that I have feelings for her, and I would want to know if im barking up the wrong tree looking for a relationship with her but was talked out of it by a friend, but eventually I'll have to say something, whether that results in her not wanting any kind of serious relationship or not, I just need to get this off my chest. Any tips for me? Feel free to ask any questions, this is a rather layered story. I know some of you are probably thinking, 'the fuck is wrong with this guy? shes clearly not interested' or 'shes using you' but like man the date/catch up was genuinley so good, that's why im so fucking confused. Is it me? is it her? What should I do?
btw we have agreed to see a movie sometime in the next two weeks. aswell go out to dinner w some of her friends eventually too
TLDR: I have talked to this girl for 3 years, we have met up 3 times, i have feelings for her and the label to what we are is unclear, I need advice on how to admit to her i have feelings without scaring her away, and peoples opinions on whats going on here.
2024.05.14 17:35 godessgoth Sex with FTM
Hi all I need some advice on navigating sex with someone that I am currently sleeping with. I am a cis female lesbian sleeping with a trans man (FTM). He explicitly does not like to be touched and doesn't ever want to be touched in the genital area or chest area for sake of better terminology its what would be called a touch me not. We only ever use a strap on and don't get me wrong the sex is amazing for me we have great sex I always cum but I want to know how best to make him cum without being able to physically do much? I may add that he is not one to talk about his transition/sexuality etc it's a VERY touchy subject so I have left it - I have tried to ask but get shut down. I know he loves it when I am on top and I was wondering if that would be best for him to cum by essentially riding the strap on it should rub against the clit giving him pleasure too? Sorry if I sound silly but I've never slept with a trans person and this is very new to me as a lesbian who sleeps with women only (I never knew they were trans at first) any tips/advice would be welcomed!!
submitted by godessgoth to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 17:29 Present_Bed8893 Anxious waiting game
Had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago that showed a 2.8 cm “something”. Couldn’t tell whether it was a polyp, stone, sludge ball, or tumour and suggested MRI as next step.
I’ve been waiting almost 2 weeks for my surgeon to look at the report and call me with next steps. In the meantime, I’m having frequent attacks, shooting pain in my right shoulder blade and right side chest referred pain. It’s not intolerable by any means, just uncomfortable.
My mom keeps saying just go to ER and they will take it out but that feels like an abuse of the system because this isn’t an emergency.
Anyways, just venting. Waiting sucks.
submitted by Present_Bed8893 to gallbladders [link] [comments]
I’ve been waiting almost 2 weeks for my surgeon to look at the report and call me with next steps. In the meantime, I’m having frequent attacks, shooting pain in my right shoulder blade and right side chest referred pain. It’s not intolerable by any means, just uncomfortable.
My mom keeps saying just go to ER and they will take it out but that feels like an abuse of the system because this isn’t an emergency.
Anyways, just venting. Waiting sucks.
2024.05.14 17:19 treslilbirds First visit to the ER for allergic reaction and I’m questioning myself on everything
I just keep replaying the whole thing in my head and everyone else’s reactions and I still don’t know if I did the right thing. Did I do too much? Not enough? I’m hoping maybe some parents in here that work in healthcare can give me an unbiased answer.
So daughter is 4 (turning 5 in June). She was diagnosed at birth with septo optic dysplasia and optic nerve hypoplasia. Long story short, she has very low vision and developmental and verbal delays. She is otherwise healthy as a horse, active, very strong, followed by specialists at a children’s hospital nearby, gets therapy through school, all that good stuff. We’ve never had issues with allergies, she’s been stung by a wasp (barely phased her), eats peanut butter, has had cooked egg and stuff made with egg and no issues. So this was alarming to say the least.
We live out in the country and have chickens so there’s no shortage of eggs that are laid out around my kitchen on a daily basis (obviously not anymore). About a month ago she grabbed one off the counter, broke it, and got egg all over her arms and hands and some on her face. I didn’t think much of it, it had happened before plenty of times. I cleaned her up, wiped up the floor and went on making dinner. She went and played in her room and when she walked back out I noticed she had little bumps popping up on her face and arms where the egg got on her. She didn’t seem bothered at all, I put some hydrocortisone cream on her, gave her a dose of Claritin just to be safe and it was cleared up in less than 10 minutes. I mentioned it to one of her teachers the next day at school and asked if they had ever noticed anything when they would have eggs for breakfast and they said no and told me they’d keep an eye out. And that was it. I didn’t think too much about it after that.
Fast forward to yesterday. Same scenario, I’m about to make lunch and she manages to grab an egg that I was sure was out of her reach, she dropped it, I immediately went over and checked her. It wasn’t even that much that got on her that I could tell. I got everything cleaned up and not even 5 minutes later her entire face is swollen, eyes swollen shut, bumps all over her legs and face. I am internally panicking at this point because it was so sudden and not something I ever expected to deal with. Plus we’re home alone and the nearest ER is at least 30 minutes away. There is a local clinic less than 5 minutes from our house so I called them, explained what was going on. Her face was swollen but she was still in good spirits, breathing fine, didn’t seem to be in distress. They told me to go ahead and bring her in. I just assumed the quicker I could get her to medical professionals, the better. I did consider calling for an ambulance but we’re in a rural area with one ambulance to service the entire county and I knew I could get her to the clinic faster than the ambulance could get to me. We get to the clinic, I’m filling out paperwork, nobody at the front really seems phased, they see her face but not really acting like it’s urgent. Nurse takes us back, gets her weight and height, gets history from me. She tried to get Daughter’s vitals but she has never tolerated any of that since infancy. Blood pressure cuffs send her into a full meltdown, she won’t keep a pulse ox on her finger. I always feel so bad for healthcare workers having to deal with her because as sweet as she is, she is EXTREMELY difficult at doctor visits. I can tell the nurse is getting frustrated with us. So then the NP comes in and looks at her and asks me, “So is there a reason why you didn’t just go to the ER?” My heart dropped and I tried to stay calm and told her I came here because it was a lot closer and I did call first and explain the situation and they said it was fine to come in. She then proceeded to tell me that they weren’t really equipped to handle anything like this and I should have just gone to the ER. I guess that was my first dumb mistake, assuming that a clinic with a full pharmacy attached could handle an allergic reaction. I just figured they’d give her a shot of Benadryl and we’d be good. But apparently not.
Other than the swelling and hives, Daughter wasn’t showing any other symptoms. The NP listened to her chest, said everything sounded good but she still wanted her to be monitored in case something happened and we’d be best off taking the ambulance to the ER. They gave her a dose of oral Benadryl and called the ambulance for us. Thirty minutes later the ambulance gets there, and we head to the ER. They were very kind and understanding, Daughter was actually having a good time riding in the ambulance, laughing and singing. She wouldn’t let them hook up any monitoring equipment still but they kept a close eye on her. I start feeling a little bad at this point because she’s still not in any distress and other than the severe facial swelling, seems totally fine, so I started feeling guilty for wasting local resources and peoples time.
We get to the ER and they get us to a bed and one of the nurses comes over and I can just tell right off the bat that she doesn’t even want us there. She was very short with us and kept talking at my daughter telling her that she’d have to leave if she didn’t act right. I kept mentioning that she was low vision and had verbal delays but I don’t know if she was listening. I was beyond stressed at this point and so was Daughter and she was admittedly being difficult yet again and not keeping the pulse ox on her finger. I just mentioned to the nurse that we have to go to the children’s hospital a lot and they’ve only ever managed to get her vitals once when she was sedated for an MRI. I guess at the time I was just trying to acknowledge that yes my kid is difficult and let the nurse know please don’t feel bad because she’s like this with everybody. I wasn’t trying to tell her how to do her job. She glared at me and snapped “I am NOT sedating your child just to get her vitals!” and stormed back over to the nurses station across from our bed and repeated the same thing loudly, “I am NOT sedating someone to get their vitals that’s just RIDICULOUS!!”
I’m trying not to break down and cry at this point. I feel like I should just apologize to everyone for wasting their time and leave. Like I’m that dumbass that went to the ER for no reason and took up space that a real emergency could have used. A different nurse came over and was very sweet. She used a different monitor that taped to her toe and we were able to get a quick reading just to verify that her stats were good. The doctor came in and listened to her heart and checked her out for any other symptoms. Said she seemed stable but he wanted to watch her for a couple of hours to make sure the Benadryl was working and she continued to improve. So after we hung out for an hour and watched PBS kids, her hives went away and her face cleared up and her eyes opened back up. The doctor came in and cleared her, pharmacy tech came in and brought us her Epipen prescription and gave us instructions on what to do next time (Benadryl, blue to sky, orange to thigh, straight to ER). Paid $300 and went home.
Daughter is perfectly fine. I however am not. I barely slept last night between getting up to check on her and replaying the whole scenario in my head. Part of me feels like I didn’t do enough and the other part feels like I overreacted and wasted peoples time. I apologize for this being so long. It’s just all been so heavy on my mind and I needed to get it out and get another perspective on the whole situation. Much thanks to anyone that managed to read all of this.
submitted by treslilbirds to Parenting [link] [comments]
So daughter is 4 (turning 5 in June). She was diagnosed at birth with septo optic dysplasia and optic nerve hypoplasia. Long story short, she has very low vision and developmental and verbal delays. She is otherwise healthy as a horse, active, very strong, followed by specialists at a children’s hospital nearby, gets therapy through school, all that good stuff. We’ve never had issues with allergies, she’s been stung by a wasp (barely phased her), eats peanut butter, has had cooked egg and stuff made with egg and no issues. So this was alarming to say the least.
We live out in the country and have chickens so there’s no shortage of eggs that are laid out around my kitchen on a daily basis (obviously not anymore). About a month ago she grabbed one off the counter, broke it, and got egg all over her arms and hands and some on her face. I didn’t think much of it, it had happened before plenty of times. I cleaned her up, wiped up the floor and went on making dinner. She went and played in her room and when she walked back out I noticed she had little bumps popping up on her face and arms where the egg got on her. She didn’t seem bothered at all, I put some hydrocortisone cream on her, gave her a dose of Claritin just to be safe and it was cleared up in less than 10 minutes. I mentioned it to one of her teachers the next day at school and asked if they had ever noticed anything when they would have eggs for breakfast and they said no and told me they’d keep an eye out. And that was it. I didn’t think too much about it after that.
Fast forward to yesterday. Same scenario, I’m about to make lunch and she manages to grab an egg that I was sure was out of her reach, she dropped it, I immediately went over and checked her. It wasn’t even that much that got on her that I could tell. I got everything cleaned up and not even 5 minutes later her entire face is swollen, eyes swollen shut, bumps all over her legs and face. I am internally panicking at this point because it was so sudden and not something I ever expected to deal with. Plus we’re home alone and the nearest ER is at least 30 minutes away. There is a local clinic less than 5 minutes from our house so I called them, explained what was going on. Her face was swollen but she was still in good spirits, breathing fine, didn’t seem to be in distress. They told me to go ahead and bring her in. I just assumed the quicker I could get her to medical professionals, the better. I did consider calling for an ambulance but we’re in a rural area with one ambulance to service the entire county and I knew I could get her to the clinic faster than the ambulance could get to me. We get to the clinic, I’m filling out paperwork, nobody at the front really seems phased, they see her face but not really acting like it’s urgent. Nurse takes us back, gets her weight and height, gets history from me. She tried to get Daughter’s vitals but she has never tolerated any of that since infancy. Blood pressure cuffs send her into a full meltdown, she won’t keep a pulse ox on her finger. I always feel so bad for healthcare workers having to deal with her because as sweet as she is, she is EXTREMELY difficult at doctor visits. I can tell the nurse is getting frustrated with us. So then the NP comes in and looks at her and asks me, “So is there a reason why you didn’t just go to the ER?” My heart dropped and I tried to stay calm and told her I came here because it was a lot closer and I did call first and explain the situation and they said it was fine to come in. She then proceeded to tell me that they weren’t really equipped to handle anything like this and I should have just gone to the ER. I guess that was my first dumb mistake, assuming that a clinic with a full pharmacy attached could handle an allergic reaction. I just figured they’d give her a shot of Benadryl and we’d be good. But apparently not.
Other than the swelling and hives, Daughter wasn’t showing any other symptoms. The NP listened to her chest, said everything sounded good but she still wanted her to be monitored in case something happened and we’d be best off taking the ambulance to the ER. They gave her a dose of oral Benadryl and called the ambulance for us. Thirty minutes later the ambulance gets there, and we head to the ER. They were very kind and understanding, Daughter was actually having a good time riding in the ambulance, laughing and singing. She wouldn’t let them hook up any monitoring equipment still but they kept a close eye on her. I start feeling a little bad at this point because she’s still not in any distress and other than the severe facial swelling, seems totally fine, so I started feeling guilty for wasting local resources and peoples time.
We get to the ER and they get us to a bed and one of the nurses comes over and I can just tell right off the bat that she doesn’t even want us there. She was very short with us and kept talking at my daughter telling her that she’d have to leave if she didn’t act right. I kept mentioning that she was low vision and had verbal delays but I don’t know if she was listening. I was beyond stressed at this point and so was Daughter and she was admittedly being difficult yet again and not keeping the pulse ox on her finger. I just mentioned to the nurse that we have to go to the children’s hospital a lot and they’ve only ever managed to get her vitals once when she was sedated for an MRI. I guess at the time I was just trying to acknowledge that yes my kid is difficult and let the nurse know please don’t feel bad because she’s like this with everybody. I wasn’t trying to tell her how to do her job. She glared at me and snapped “I am NOT sedating your child just to get her vitals!” and stormed back over to the nurses station across from our bed and repeated the same thing loudly, “I am NOT sedating someone to get their vitals that’s just RIDICULOUS!!”
I’m trying not to break down and cry at this point. I feel like I should just apologize to everyone for wasting their time and leave. Like I’m that dumbass that went to the ER for no reason and took up space that a real emergency could have used. A different nurse came over and was very sweet. She used a different monitor that taped to her toe and we were able to get a quick reading just to verify that her stats were good. The doctor came in and listened to her heart and checked her out for any other symptoms. Said she seemed stable but he wanted to watch her for a couple of hours to make sure the Benadryl was working and she continued to improve. So after we hung out for an hour and watched PBS kids, her hives went away and her face cleared up and her eyes opened back up. The doctor came in and cleared her, pharmacy tech came in and brought us her Epipen prescription and gave us instructions on what to do next time (Benadryl, blue to sky, orange to thigh, straight to ER). Paid $300 and went home.
Daughter is perfectly fine. I however am not. I barely slept last night between getting up to check on her and replaying the whole scenario in my head. Part of me feels like I didn’t do enough and the other part feels like I overreacted and wasted peoples time. I apologize for this being so long. It’s just all been so heavy on my mind and I needed to get it out and get another perspective on the whole situation. Much thanks to anyone that managed to read all of this.
2024.05.14 17:13 Hopeful_Friend_374 dear bean - a informal email from me (that you will never see)
dear bean
yknow i know you definitely will not care about this and you will probably tell your friends and say how desperate or annoying or needy or shitty I am, and its fine - say what you want. because honestly I couldn't care less about how you think about me but I just want to be heard from your end one final time. and yea I did say that a couple times, I've tried reaching out a couple times, I've tried being a mature person even though I was actually breaking inside. so yea, I'm sorry I lied, sorry I said it would be my last time contacting you but breaking that promise every time, but this time it really will be the last time.
honestly, I think we had a good run for the what, 4 months we were friends? i have nothing bad to say about you, and even though it was hell after whatever you would call that, I still don't dislike you or hate you or feel negative feelings towards you, cause at the end of the day, we're all humans living life and we can decide when someone isn't worth being in our life anymore (that might sound passive aggressive, it wasn't supposed to sound like that, just read it like I understand the feeling). if you're annoyed by this email - don't keep reading, I'll just go on and on and I guess this email (that I will never send) is just a way for me to reflect and understand my feelings while also giving you, the bean that I knew, a chance to come out one last time before shutting me down once and for all. yea so if you're gonna go beserk from this email, dob me out to all your friends, then I suggest you leave before I pour my heart and soul out.
you were actually really cool in my eyes, talented and smart, it was hard not to admire the determination you had and the willingness to do things. and I hate admitting it, and I know my friends hate hearing me talk about it, but I miss you and your presence. yes, sue me, no I'm not in love with you, yes you made that big of and impact on me. i was scared of you when you first joined honk, you had very sharp and cool eyes. and again - you were talented which intimidated me. but overtime, I understood that you weren't scary, you were actually so sweet and funny and really silly. i liked how you pushed yourself to try harder and new things, like clarinet 1 in honk. i don't even know how we started chatting, I think you were looking for some sheet music or something. honestly it was nice talking to you, even from the beginning. it was fresh talking to someone new, I didn't have high expectations of where this friendship would go but I was happy enough to enjoy the moment while it lasted.
and well, that moment lasted a while. we talked for a week and I could already tell that my crappy feelings would complicate things - I just never met someone so like me before. even though I didn't have strong feelings, I knew they were there, but I still chose to talk to you. how foolish right? i mean we had the same interests, music (clarinet!!), txt, twisted tales, it was a coincidence meeting someone who was like a mini me. and of course, when we started talking about crushes, I felt adrenaline and just kept going until I just puked my feelings over you. I'm not sure how you felt then when I admitted I liked you, but if it was hard for you or if it made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. putting you in that position must have been hard so i'msorry. you said you weren't ready for anything serious, but I was just excited, too happy to find someone finally, that it didn;t occur to me how fast i might be going.
we had our issues, but i thought that we loved each other. i loved you so i thought that even though i had issues, talking it out with you was always the best way to work things out. communication is key, that's what i told myself. i guess it wasn't key, unless it's the key to making friendships break apart. i guess i just tricked myself into thinking you loved me just as much as i loved you, so i thought you had the same idea of communication as i did. and honestly i think a part of me was right, because you did try. but it was my fault, i kept bringing in other little small things that affected me and you had to put me back together. and i guess that must've been annoying cause at some point you just stopped trying. I'm not saying that that's an issue or that it was your problem, I'm under the impression it was all my doing.
looking past that, i seriously loved you so much. i neglected a lot for you - again not blaming you, i did it because i really really loved you so much and i wanted the best for you in every circumstance (even if it didn't seem like it). i left my friends a lot, my mum noticed i was getting more distant and well, after things ended i got into touch with my loved ones again, so I'm in a way grateful for you for doing that.
love is hard to describe. but i knew i had love for you. i said i loved my other crushes. but they were absolutely nothing compared to what i had for you. i had love for you that was comparable to my best friend (don't tell her that). mayve you can tell but words could not describe how or what i felt after things ended. not sure what your breaking point was, but it must have been a big point. i have 3 main points regarding this end of whatever we had:
I don’t know if this will get to you. It probably won’t, theres a bit too much that i wrote in here. Do you care about this still? Definitely not (I’m assuming). It’s embarrassing how much I think about this and how much i regret not letting my feelings out before you removed me as a friend on instagram and discord (or even blocking me on spotify, not sure how spotify was a way for me to get to you but whatever works i guess). This issue has been taking up my mind for the last few years, and it really does suck. But I’m gonna let it out, so im sorry if you got up to here.
Not sure how much this means to you, but you can contact me anytime if you want to let out your feelings (of life, not about this or me), i want to support you as much as i can. I can also help you with coping with school - again i don’t think you’d take me up on that but it’s always an option if you need it. I won’t make it weird, i wont bring this up again, i’ll talk to you like you’re one of my friends.
I haven’t heard much about your feelings in this - feelings of anger, regret, sadness. If you do want to share (you most definitely don’t have to), email me, text me, contact me and we can talk about how you felt too. This email was for me to finally write down what i wanted to let out and finally let go of what happened (even if you think it was miniscule, it wasn’t for me).
Life is hard, and I learnt that through you and the experience of you. So thank you for teaching me this. Thank you for showing me what love felt like, and thank you for being my first love. You made it very hard for other people because i only compared them to what I had with you. But in saying that - I made life long friends who helped me cope. And I hope you found some life long friends as well.
I hope you have a good life (in saying that, i am assuming we will never meet each other ever again - but if we do meet again disregard this).
Thanks for everything (and nothing as well) (while that sounds bitter, its more like a thank you for what you taught me - life lessons and all - but also thanks for the pain i had to feel afterwards, while that pain was not enjoyable, it was what taught me).
kind regards,
toad
to readers: i censored the names for privacy, but i called her bean (as a nickname - it really suited her), and i was known as her 'toad', hence the names.
submitted by Hopeful_Friend_374 to LettersToYourEX [link] [comments]
yknow i know you definitely will not care about this and you will probably tell your friends and say how desperate or annoying or needy or shitty I am, and its fine - say what you want. because honestly I couldn't care less about how you think about me but I just want to be heard from your end one final time. and yea I did say that a couple times, I've tried reaching out a couple times, I've tried being a mature person even though I was actually breaking inside. so yea, I'm sorry I lied, sorry I said it would be my last time contacting you but breaking that promise every time, but this time it really will be the last time.
honestly, I think we had a good run for the what, 4 months we were friends? i have nothing bad to say about you, and even though it was hell after whatever you would call that, I still don't dislike you or hate you or feel negative feelings towards you, cause at the end of the day, we're all humans living life and we can decide when someone isn't worth being in our life anymore (that might sound passive aggressive, it wasn't supposed to sound like that, just read it like I understand the feeling). if you're annoyed by this email - don't keep reading, I'll just go on and on and I guess this email (that I will never send) is just a way for me to reflect and understand my feelings while also giving you, the bean that I knew, a chance to come out one last time before shutting me down once and for all. yea so if you're gonna go beserk from this email, dob me out to all your friends, then I suggest you leave before I pour my heart and soul out.
you were actually really cool in my eyes, talented and smart, it was hard not to admire the determination you had and the willingness to do things. and I hate admitting it, and I know my friends hate hearing me talk about it, but I miss you and your presence. yes, sue me, no I'm not in love with you, yes you made that big of and impact on me. i was scared of you when you first joined honk, you had very sharp and cool eyes. and again - you were talented which intimidated me. but overtime, I understood that you weren't scary, you were actually so sweet and funny and really silly. i liked how you pushed yourself to try harder and new things, like clarinet 1 in honk. i don't even know how we started chatting, I think you were looking for some sheet music or something. honestly it was nice talking to you, even from the beginning. it was fresh talking to someone new, I didn't have high expectations of where this friendship would go but I was happy enough to enjoy the moment while it lasted.
and well, that moment lasted a while. we talked for a week and I could already tell that my crappy feelings would complicate things - I just never met someone so like me before. even though I didn't have strong feelings, I knew they were there, but I still chose to talk to you. how foolish right? i mean we had the same interests, music (clarinet!!), txt, twisted tales, it was a coincidence meeting someone who was like a mini me. and of course, when we started talking about crushes, I felt adrenaline and just kept going until I just puked my feelings over you. I'm not sure how you felt then when I admitted I liked you, but if it was hard for you or if it made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. putting you in that position must have been hard so i'msorry. you said you weren't ready for anything serious, but I was just excited, too happy to find someone finally, that it didn;t occur to me how fast i might be going.
we had our issues, but i thought that we loved each other. i loved you so i thought that even though i had issues, talking it out with you was always the best way to work things out. communication is key, that's what i told myself. i guess it wasn't key, unless it's the key to making friendships break apart. i guess i just tricked myself into thinking you loved me just as much as i loved you, so i thought you had the same idea of communication as i did. and honestly i think a part of me was right, because you did try. but it was my fault, i kept bringing in other little small things that affected me and you had to put me back together. and i guess that must've been annoying cause at some point you just stopped trying. I'm not saying that that's an issue or that it was your problem, I'm under the impression it was all my doing.
looking past that, i seriously loved you so much. i neglected a lot for you - again not blaming you, i did it because i really really loved you so much and i wanted the best for you in every circumstance (even if it didn't seem like it). i left my friends a lot, my mum noticed i was getting more distant and well, after things ended i got into touch with my loved ones again, so I'm in a way grateful for you for doing that.
love is hard to describe. but i knew i had love for you. i said i loved my other crushes. but they were absolutely nothing compared to what i had for you. i had love for you that was comparable to my best friend (don't tell her that). mayve you can tell but words could not describe how or what i felt after things ended. not sure what your breaking point was, but it must have been a big point. i have 3 main points regarding this end of whatever we had:
- what is it we even had? you said we were just friends - i accept that - but i feel like it was definitely not what i saw. and yes, maybe this is subjective BUT i don't think friends hold hands (well they do but they're not afraid to), they don't celebrate "months of friendship" (recalling every month we were "together" we would celebrate) and friends don't kiss each other's foreheads like that (and if they didn't like it, they'd stop each other). honestly, I'm cringing recalling the fucking embarrassing things i did but it needs to be addressed. i have to ask you - and there's no shame in being truthful because i don't care anymore - what did you see us as? was i a one time fling? was i seriously just your friend? did you have feelings for me then realise i was too high maintenance to handle and dropped me? or maybe there was another factor. that brings me to my next point.
- was there another person who you realised was better? again, while an average person might see this as morally incorrect - i do not care - you're human and you can feel whatever you want for whoever you want. But i’m genuinely asking, did you? Was it the guy you liked in year 6? The one who bullied you? Call me a detective but, i remember seqc calling one night after things ended, i was back from vietnam and had slightly accepted the idea of the situation. you pulled out some messages from a boy on discord, it was of him admitting he liked you back in year 6. i looked at the date, it was the 6th of january 2023, 9 days before you had the courage to break it off with me. Did he maybe have a part in this? Did you maybe feel things weren’t working out with me and realised you had a chance with someone else so you took it? AGAIN NO SHAME - you do whatever you want to do in life, i’m not shaming you or judging you I just genuinely want to know. I also saw you posting about a boy on your story - not sure if its the same boy but if it was, i hope it went well for you. Sorry these were all the conspiracy theories i made up to cope - crazy right? Imagine what a person can do to you.
- why did we stop being friends? Even though things didn;t work out romantically (or what i thought was romantic, you thought of as friendship), i don’t know what happened to us. You told me you wanted to be friends. I also wanted to be friends. The only reason that kept me alright was the idea that even though you don’t think of me more, i could still keep you as a friend - someone i could share my passions with and geek out over txt music with. Thats why i tried to stay friends with you. I really and truly did try to make ‘friends’ work with you. But the more i tried - the more annoyed you got. Or i think you were getting annoyed. I wouldn’t know because you didn’t tell me how you felt afterwards. I tried to make it work because you said we could be friends but you gave up on me. I think that’s what hurt me the most - breaking your word. I keep saying it, but you’re entitled to do whatever you want, but it left an emotional scar on me. I don’t want to admit it, but on the days you started at (bean's new school name), i woke up early just to talk to you, to keep you company on the bus on your first few days. Yea cringey i know, bare with me please. I thought I owed you that, i thought that being friends with you after you ended ‘things’, i had to earn my right so i tried, i really tried to be my best for you, so you felt that maybe it was worth keeping me around. And maybe, maybe i was still in love with you then. But i think you saw talking to me for three days straight at 7am was annoying and you were probably uncomfortable because it was me. I feel like you saw me as a creep - almost like a pedo. But i tried and you gave up on me, and there was a time a couple months later where we were perfectly fine, but then things just went again.
I don’t know if this will get to you. It probably won’t, theres a bit too much that i wrote in here. Do you care about this still? Definitely not (I’m assuming). It’s embarrassing how much I think about this and how much i regret not letting my feelings out before you removed me as a friend on instagram and discord (or even blocking me on spotify, not sure how spotify was a way for me to get to you but whatever works i guess). This issue has been taking up my mind for the last few years, and it really does suck. But I’m gonna let it out, so im sorry if you got up to here.
Not sure how much this means to you, but you can contact me anytime if you want to let out your feelings (of life, not about this or me), i want to support you as much as i can. I can also help you with coping with school - again i don’t think you’d take me up on that but it’s always an option if you need it. I won’t make it weird, i wont bring this up again, i’ll talk to you like you’re one of my friends.
I haven’t heard much about your feelings in this - feelings of anger, regret, sadness. If you do want to share (you most definitely don’t have to), email me, text me, contact me and we can talk about how you felt too. This email was for me to finally write down what i wanted to let out and finally let go of what happened (even if you think it was miniscule, it wasn’t for me).
Life is hard, and I learnt that through you and the experience of you. So thank you for teaching me this. Thank you for showing me what love felt like, and thank you for being my first love. You made it very hard for other people because i only compared them to what I had with you. But in saying that - I made life long friends who helped me cope. And I hope you found some life long friends as well.
I hope you have a good life (in saying that, i am assuming we will never meet each other ever again - but if we do meet again disregard this).
Thanks for everything (and nothing as well) (while that sounds bitter, its more like a thank you for what you taught me - life lessons and all - but also thanks for the pain i had to feel afterwards, while that pain was not enjoyable, it was what taught me).
kind regards,
toad
to readers: i censored the names for privacy, but i called her bean (as a nickname - it really suited her), and i was known as her 'toad', hence the names.
2024.05.14 17:10 gallivantgoose How I ruined my skin: Purging vs Irritation- trust your gut! Also be careful of telehealth!
So some of you may remember me from my post about the horrible “purging” from my Tret and clindamycin combo that I was prescribed. After less than 2 weeks, I had a horrible reaction that left my entire face red, bumpy, and filled with white heads. I went from smooth skin with maybe a couple of pimples and acne marks to severe acne.
Even though this is an ongoing issue, it’s still a long read! I’m so sorry in advance!
About two months ago, I quit spirono due to a bad reaction I had (I wrote an essay in my history if anyone is interested) and haven’t had too much of a problem with acne returning.
My skincare routine was originally spirono (before I quit it), azealic acid and retinol, but my dermatologist said they won’t renew my prescription unless I visit them. I didn’t want to spend the money to visit them because my dermatologist is really expensive ($170 per visit) with really limited availability and always just talks about accutane despite me saying I wasn’t interested, so I decided not to book with them and to instead just go with telehealth to get my prescription renewed. This was such a mistake!
When I talked with the nurse on GoodRx care, she suggested I go on doxycycline and spironolactone- which were both medications I wrote in the notes that I couldn’t go on. I explained again that I couldn’t go on it , so she gave me a list of prescriptions to “choose” from, which I thought was a little strange but I figured that it was normal since I never used telehealth for dermatologist before. I told her I would be willing to try an antibiotic and tretinoin. She prescribed me clindamycin and tretinoin, and told me to read the instructions on how and when to use them. Thinking back at it, it’s strange that she prescribed me such a higher dosage of both (1% clindamycin and 0.05% tretinoin) but I just “trusted the process.”
I explained my routine in the original post if anyone is interested, but it was fairly simple. After just a few days though, my entire face erupted in giant bumps (not cysts, but they looked very similar. They were red inflamed legions with no pus), pimples, and whiteheads. I posted some pictures of the before vs after if anyone is interested, but just know it got so much worse after that.
After visiting my original prescriber, the doctor supervising her (this was all on GoodRx care, so the chat was accessible to everyone) told me to immediately go to urgent care (she never saw pictures of my acne post-treatment, I only described what happened. This is because you can’t send additional pictures via good rx care). I called urgent care and they said they could help with the itching or any pain, but they can’t do much besides that. My face was itchy, constantly inflamed, and in so much pain. I went back to nurse that gave me the routine. The original prescriber told me that she was considering adding me on to an oral antibiotic to help and I agreed, only for her to never send the prescription to the pharmacy. I went back to the chat and asked about the prescription only for the PCA to respond that I needed to pay for another appointment if I wanted another prescription.
So I made another appointment and explained what happened, only for a new nurse to respond and tell me to see a doctor because my acne was too severe and that I already used the treatments that they had available. She said she was unwilling to prescribe anything else due to my reaction to their prescriptions.
At this point, I spent so much money on appointments and medications and I just felt very tired and frustrated. I made an appointment with a primary care physician and explained what happened. He said the reaction was likely due to the 1% clindamycin and to stop using it immediately. I also thought that might be the case because a few days before seeing him I patch tested clindamycin on my chest and noticed that my chest felt itchy the next day, and that I had some red marks on it.
I talked with him about how I believed that I was having a reaction and not normal acne, and after discussion we settled on a steroid course for 10 days and an antibiotic for 30 days. The steroid (a corticosteroid) treats the inflammation and the antibiotic will treat the bacterial aspect. This is all in addition to maintaining the tretinoin in my routine.
Thank you to everyone that gave me advice on that post! Especially to the person that told me to understand the difference between irritation and purging. My case was NOT purging. This was clear because I had acne in areas I’ve never broken out before. I’ve also had acne for years, so I knew the itchy redness was unusual. I kept trying to convince myself that I was overreacting, but after talking to you all, my friends, and that doctor, now I realize that I should be much more careful and observant with my health.
Also, be careful with telehealth, it’s hard to get the same quality of care as an actual doctor. I deeply regret trying to be cheap and fast with my skin. I’m now, quite literally, paying for it (financially and emotionally lol). Also, don’t stay stuck in an echo chamber! I love all the support I got from you all, but it’s important to realize that the answer isn’t always “just be patient and stick with it,” if you think something is up, then talk with a professional!
I just wanted to share this update in case it helps anyone. Again, thank you so so much for all the kindness I received from my last post!
submitted by gallivantgoose to tretinoin [link] [comments]
Even though this is an ongoing issue, it’s still a long read! I’m so sorry in advance!
About two months ago, I quit spirono due to a bad reaction I had (I wrote an essay in my history if anyone is interested) and haven’t had too much of a problem with acne returning.
My skincare routine was originally spirono (before I quit it), azealic acid and retinol, but my dermatologist said they won’t renew my prescription unless I visit them. I didn’t want to spend the money to visit them because my dermatologist is really expensive ($170 per visit) with really limited availability and always just talks about accutane despite me saying I wasn’t interested, so I decided not to book with them and to instead just go with telehealth to get my prescription renewed. This was such a mistake!
When I talked with the nurse on GoodRx care, she suggested I go on doxycycline and spironolactone- which were both medications I wrote in the notes that I couldn’t go on. I explained again that I couldn’t go on it , so she gave me a list of prescriptions to “choose” from, which I thought was a little strange but I figured that it was normal since I never used telehealth for dermatologist before. I told her I would be willing to try an antibiotic and tretinoin. She prescribed me clindamycin and tretinoin, and told me to read the instructions on how and when to use them. Thinking back at it, it’s strange that she prescribed me such a higher dosage of both (1% clindamycin and 0.05% tretinoin) but I just “trusted the process.”
I explained my routine in the original post if anyone is interested, but it was fairly simple. After just a few days though, my entire face erupted in giant bumps (not cysts, but they looked very similar. They were red inflamed legions with no pus), pimples, and whiteheads. I posted some pictures of the before vs after if anyone is interested, but just know it got so much worse after that.
After visiting my original prescriber, the doctor supervising her (this was all on GoodRx care, so the chat was accessible to everyone) told me to immediately go to urgent care (she never saw pictures of my acne post-treatment, I only described what happened. This is because you can’t send additional pictures via good rx care). I called urgent care and they said they could help with the itching or any pain, but they can’t do much besides that. My face was itchy, constantly inflamed, and in so much pain. I went back to nurse that gave me the routine. The original prescriber told me that she was considering adding me on to an oral antibiotic to help and I agreed, only for her to never send the prescription to the pharmacy. I went back to the chat and asked about the prescription only for the PCA to respond that I needed to pay for another appointment if I wanted another prescription.
So I made another appointment and explained what happened, only for a new nurse to respond and tell me to see a doctor because my acne was too severe and that I already used the treatments that they had available. She said she was unwilling to prescribe anything else due to my reaction to their prescriptions.
At this point, I spent so much money on appointments and medications and I just felt very tired and frustrated. I made an appointment with a primary care physician and explained what happened. He said the reaction was likely due to the 1% clindamycin and to stop using it immediately. I also thought that might be the case because a few days before seeing him I patch tested clindamycin on my chest and noticed that my chest felt itchy the next day, and that I had some red marks on it.
I talked with him about how I believed that I was having a reaction and not normal acne, and after discussion we settled on a steroid course for 10 days and an antibiotic for 30 days. The steroid (a corticosteroid) treats the inflammation and the antibiotic will treat the bacterial aspect. This is all in addition to maintaining the tretinoin in my routine.
Thank you to everyone that gave me advice on that post! Especially to the person that told me to understand the difference between irritation and purging. My case was NOT purging. This was clear because I had acne in areas I’ve never broken out before. I’ve also had acne for years, so I knew the itchy redness was unusual. I kept trying to convince myself that I was overreacting, but after talking to you all, my friends, and that doctor, now I realize that I should be much more careful and observant with my health.
Also, be careful with telehealth, it’s hard to get the same quality of care as an actual doctor. I deeply regret trying to be cheap and fast with my skin. I’m now, quite literally, paying for it (financially and emotionally lol). Also, don’t stay stuck in an echo chamber! I love all the support I got from you all, but it’s important to realize that the answer isn’t always “just be patient and stick with it,” if you think something is up, then talk with a professional!
I just wanted to share this update in case it helps anyone. Again, thank you so so much for all the kindness I received from my last post!
2024.05.14 17:02 BronxDo I have conjured up a rather interesting "situationship", give me advice on how I can be honest with somebody who doesn't appear to know that I have feelings for them.
A bit of context is required I (24,M) met (We'll call her Sam) on tinder in early 2021. We chatted for a bit and I ended up getting her instagram and that's where we chatted from that point forwards. Initially we were talking everyday, if not back and forth, then maybe at the start and end of the day as we were both working. Eventually I asked Sam to grab a coffee, she declined (specifically she actually ignored it the first time i asked, I'm not sure whether out shyness, or distrust or whatever, but she made it clear that she didn't have a lot of free time due to study and work when i asked why she ignored it) we continued talking anyway, a few months later, I asked again, I got the same old tune of "i'm soo busy im sorry" kinda vibe and eventually I gave up asking but we remained talking, I still very much liked her and found her pretty.
The talking dwindled, sometimes she'd take 1 or 2 days to get back to me, days became weeks, then there were periods inbetween of hearing from her more freqeuntly, then back to a week, or a day, or several weeks, it fluctuated a lot. I had just accepted that, she probably saw me as an overseas friend (shes an international student) and wouldn't ever be interested in meeting. But still we remained talking, eventually it normalised to talking to each other about once a week, this continued for almost a year I'd say, we'd share occasional funny videos, respond to each others stories and just talk about life.
Fast forward to early 2023, I asked her if she wanted to finally meet up as we'd been talking more recently, and we did. We went to a bar, had some drinks, grabbed dinner and then walked around the city, it was a great night, I felt excited because we finally met each other in person and she was lovely, soft spoken, smart and pretty, she even asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her the next day during her lunch, and we did, and i thought this is where things would take off, but after that day, things slowly drifted back to the way things were, it would be a year before I saw her again (just this last week) and before that, we had gone months without talking at times (I had an interesting year and a lot of distractions, I'm sure Sam did too) but we still remained talking somewhat, even talking about meeting up again eventually.
Fast forward to last week, we meet up (we tried to earlier but I was going through some heavy stuff for the last 5 months that left me disinterested in taking care of myself, let alone trying to "date") we grabbed dinner, and the night was just great, conversation flowed, we were buying rounds for each other, whilst we were eating she at times would just plonk stuff from her bowl into mine and would tell me "try this", "try that" etc, we then went to get some cocktails at some different bars, we were chatting about music, cars, our lives and stuff, I was smitten by her, we then went and got ice cream and we were sharing them with spoons and then I walked her back to her apartment, hugged, said goodbye (we also promised we'd see each other soon). I was sold that I really liked this girl, shes gorgeous, I love her energy, her sweetness, she is quite literally a breath of fresh air in an unfortunate dating history of mine where I've been strung along/lied to. I LIKE this girl a lot. I can't get her out of my head, we talked a bit the next day, and now the talking is starting to diminish again, for example we spoke on sunday, then she didnt respond to me til yesterday, which was just a video (she didn't actually reply to anything I said, which isn't totally unusual she has done that before) and I'm just stuck wondering what she thinks of me, everyone I've spoken to said that was a date.
I was going to send her a message the night of that basically would have said that I have feelings for her, and I would want to know if im barking up the wrong tree looking for a relationship with her but was talked out of it by a friend, but eventually I'll have to say something, whether that results in her not wanting any kind of serious relationship or not, I just need to get this off my chest. Any tips for me? Feel free to ask any questions, this is a rather layered story. I know some of you are probably thinking, 'the fuck is wrong with this guy? shes clearly not interested' or 'shes using you' but like man the date/catch up was genuinley so good, that's why im so fucking confused. Is it me? is it her? What should I do?
btw we have agreed to see a movie sometime in the next two weeks. aswell go out to dinner w some of her friends eventually too
submitted by BronxDo to Advice [link] [comments]
The talking dwindled, sometimes she'd take 1 or 2 days to get back to me, days became weeks, then there were periods inbetween of hearing from her more freqeuntly, then back to a week, or a day, or several weeks, it fluctuated a lot. I had just accepted that, she probably saw me as an overseas friend (shes an international student) and wouldn't ever be interested in meeting. But still we remained talking, eventually it normalised to talking to each other about once a week, this continued for almost a year I'd say, we'd share occasional funny videos, respond to each others stories and just talk about life.
Fast forward to early 2023, I asked her if she wanted to finally meet up as we'd been talking more recently, and we did. We went to a bar, had some drinks, grabbed dinner and then walked around the city, it was a great night, I felt excited because we finally met each other in person and she was lovely, soft spoken, smart and pretty, she even asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her the next day during her lunch, and we did, and i thought this is where things would take off, but after that day, things slowly drifted back to the way things were, it would be a year before I saw her again (just this last week) and before that, we had gone months without talking at times (I had an interesting year and a lot of distractions, I'm sure Sam did too) but we still remained talking somewhat, even talking about meeting up again eventually.
Fast forward to last week, we meet up (we tried to earlier but I was going through some heavy stuff for the last 5 months that left me disinterested in taking care of myself, let alone trying to "date") we grabbed dinner, and the night was just great, conversation flowed, we were buying rounds for each other, whilst we were eating she at times would just plonk stuff from her bowl into mine and would tell me "try this", "try that" etc, we then went to get some cocktails at some different bars, we were chatting about music, cars, our lives and stuff, I was smitten by her, we then went and got ice cream and we were sharing them with spoons and then I walked her back to her apartment, hugged, said goodbye (we also promised we'd see each other soon). I was sold that I really liked this girl, shes gorgeous, I love her energy, her sweetness, she is quite literally a breath of fresh air in an unfortunate dating history of mine where I've been strung along/lied to. I LIKE this girl a lot. I can't get her out of my head, we talked a bit the next day, and now the talking is starting to diminish again, for example we spoke on sunday, then she didnt respond to me til yesterday, which was just a video (she didn't actually reply to anything I said, which isn't totally unusual she has done that before) and I'm just stuck wondering what she thinks of me, everyone I've spoken to said that was a date.
I was going to send her a message the night of that basically would have said that I have feelings for her, and I would want to know if im barking up the wrong tree looking for a relationship with her but was talked out of it by a friend, but eventually I'll have to say something, whether that results in her not wanting any kind of serious relationship or not, I just need to get this off my chest. Any tips for me? Feel free to ask any questions, this is a rather layered story. I know some of you are probably thinking, 'the fuck is wrong with this guy? shes clearly not interested' or 'shes using you' but like man the date/catch up was genuinley so good, that's why im so fucking confused. Is it me? is it her? What should I do?
btw we have agreed to see a movie sometime in the next two weeks. aswell go out to dinner w some of her friends eventually too
2024.05.14 17:01 viktortrans I’m a failure and I will never be enough in my parents eyes
I’ve failed at every aspect of life. I’ve had random successes that were at the hands of fate. I started off my career at such a high point that now I’m a completely different person. I lost my job, I’m about to get sued by my former landlord, I left school one semester away from my diploma because of my weak mental self. I’m so tired of myself I would rather be off the planet. I’m such a burden to everyone around me. AAP is incredibly rare but I think I have it and it won’t go away. It physically stings in my chest whenever I get called “she” and I think the brainwashing is so deep I can’t get out of it. I’ve tried really living up to my former self but I’m brainwashed. I find the thought of going into work and being called he comfy even though it’s wrong. It’s like the devil is trying to trick me into bringing a fetish into my everyday life. I’m just so wrong. Everything about me is wrong. I’ve read the self help books yet I’m helpless. I don’t think there is a place for me in the world. Either that or ive completely lost it. I’m sorry to my Nigerian parents I couldn’t live up to your expectations but I think it’s time I returned to the land of the dead. Whatever lesson you take from my life I hope you realize it’s not your fault mom, even if dad tries to pin it on you like he did when I moved out.
submitted by viktortrans to Vent [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 16:52 ISuckatChess00 Crappy Sales Culture
I have to get this off my chest, as I used to love my company and the rewards/bonus money I received during the “good times.”
But now, my company seems to be a former shell of itself. A large F200 company who just told its sales reps:
They wonder why none of the sales team is motivated to go out and make sales now. I get things are not 100% perfect but telling the sales team to “go out, sell and make relationships” while also pulling the rug out from underneath us is not helping.
submitted by ISuckatChess00 to sales [link] [comments]
But now, my company seems to be a former shell of itself. A large F200 company who just told its sales reps:
- Drive less to see customers, reimbursement is too expensive
- Lunches with customers must be under $50 or will get denied. Dinner under $100.
- No More “customer entertainments” put in company cards.
- Take away reward trips/events from top sales members from last year because “We can’t afford it now.”
They wonder why none of the sales team is motivated to go out and make sales now. I get things are not 100% perfect but telling the sales team to “go out, sell and make relationships” while also pulling the rug out from underneath us is not helping.
2024.05.14 16:50 Corndogmasterful Deciphering a Nightmare - The Hag and the Man with the Hat
I have been taking stock of the few outstanding paranormal/spiritual experiences I've had in my life, and trying to trace back to their origin. So far, I've connected that I've found myself immersed in a trance-like state while hiking around an old native burial ground (where remains were discovered old caves nearby), feeling a spirit in childhood home that was likely a ghost (a previous owner was murdered there), and having a "third eye opening" experience while meditating few months ago.
However, the one truly uncomfortable experience I have yet to piece together took the form of a hyper-realistic dream I had, perhaps four or five years ago. I still remember it as the most frightening nightmare I've experienced in my life. If you all could help me piece together any meaning behind it and who the figures were, I'd certainly appreciate it.
I found myself standing on a dirt road overlooking a vast dry plain with gently sloping hills. The sun seemed to hang in the air, and the air around me was oppressive and hot. As I looked down the road, I could feel my chest tighten as in the distance, I saw a small speck of a figure. I felt unsettled, and looked on. Somehow, my focus was "grabbed" by the figures in the distance and my eyes were "forced" to close the distance visually, incredibly quickly, zooming in. I felt terrified as I looked on to an old man in a broad hat and long black coat or cloak. He had a creased, tanned, grizzled face with stubble on his cheeks. He was exuding pure malice, and I felt a sense of hatred in his eyes. He was pushing a hag-like woman in a wheelchair towards me. Her black eyes were beady and her old face was twisted and grotesque. I assume what folks would call her a crone or a traditional depiction of an old witch. They were were dressed in black and dark brown, in older attire perhaps early 18th century or so. I could feel the old woman and the man stare directly into my soul. I was not only overcome with terror (like, surprise + fear + panic). I knew in my soul, or heart, that this was truly the embodiment of evil, like in an objective cosmic sense. I was petrified. The hag woman opened her mouth and my ears were filled with a terrible scream which turned into roar. The intensity of which woke me with a start from the dream, my head aching. I felt nausea creep over me, and even as a grown man I was completely scared. It felt too real, too emotionally raw. I didn't fall asleep again that night until I passed out from exhaustion.
I reach out to you all to see if you might be able to help me interpret what went on. The hyper-real dreamlike state was odd as well, it seemed far more intense than other dreams I've had. I have not experienced either of these dream entities since, happily. Thanks for your time.
submitted by Corndogmasterful to Paranormal [link] [comments]
However, the one truly uncomfortable experience I have yet to piece together took the form of a hyper-realistic dream I had, perhaps four or five years ago. I still remember it as the most frightening nightmare I've experienced in my life. If you all could help me piece together any meaning behind it and who the figures were, I'd certainly appreciate it.
I found myself standing on a dirt road overlooking a vast dry plain with gently sloping hills. The sun seemed to hang in the air, and the air around me was oppressive and hot. As I looked down the road, I could feel my chest tighten as in the distance, I saw a small speck of a figure. I felt unsettled, and looked on. Somehow, my focus was "grabbed" by the figures in the distance and my eyes were "forced" to close the distance visually, incredibly quickly, zooming in. I felt terrified as I looked on to an old man in a broad hat and long black coat or cloak. He had a creased, tanned, grizzled face with stubble on his cheeks. He was exuding pure malice, and I felt a sense of hatred in his eyes. He was pushing a hag-like woman in a wheelchair towards me. Her black eyes were beady and her old face was twisted and grotesque. I assume what folks would call her a crone or a traditional depiction of an old witch. They were were dressed in black and dark brown, in older attire perhaps early 18th century or so. I could feel the old woman and the man stare directly into my soul. I was not only overcome with terror (like, surprise + fear + panic). I knew in my soul, or heart, that this was truly the embodiment of evil, like in an objective cosmic sense. I was petrified. The hag woman opened her mouth and my ears were filled with a terrible scream which turned into roar. The intensity of which woke me with a start from the dream, my head aching. I felt nausea creep over me, and even as a grown man I was completely scared. It felt too real, too emotionally raw. I didn't fall asleep again that night until I passed out from exhaustion.
I reach out to you all to see if you might be able to help me interpret what went on. The hyper-real dreamlike state was odd as well, it seemed far more intense than other dreams I've had. I have not experienced either of these dream entities since, happily. Thanks for your time.
2024.05.14 16:41 Chaoticginger5674 Confessions of a Tank Main.
- I started tanking because I have main character syndrome, and stayed because I can get 5 stacks of vulnerability and not die.
- Despite having done 3,500+ dungeons, the knowledge that the chest always appears at the exit of the boss arena has yet to have any impact on the direction I'll run following the fight.
- My favorite tank changes frequently and seemingly without reason. Right now it's GNB.
- I think Fell Cleave is mid and I'm tired of pretending it's goated.
- I have died on multiple occasions as a WAR trying to use my HP bar as mitigation.
- Following a string of bad luck, I'm terrified of Superbolide.
- Despite calling myself a Tank Main, I've not tanked in lv 90 content in months.
- If the healer says they're not comfortable with W2W, I will set the pace. I will tell you that pace in chat. Single pulls for first wall, pack and a half for the second. All other pulls will be based on my confidence in the healer. If you are not the healer, I will be using you to proc Dark Arts. This is a threat.
2024.05.14 16:37 UnusualEmergency8968 I(28F) been having issues with my fiancé(27M) of 12 years with a female co-worker(19F). Am I crazy?
My fiancé and I have 4 kids and he’s always been an active parent to our kids (as active you can be when you’re working overtime). Things in our relationship have been strain for awhile till about 2 months ago. How all my thinking of something is going on with a co-worker is that… one night during a snow storm after working a 12 hour shift I was stuck because my car fuel pump wasn’t working and he knew our car kept doing that at the time. The whole day I haven’t heard from him which actually started being unusually common when we would talk all day. I tried calling him multiple times and he kept ignoring it, I was stuck for 2 hours in a snow storm. I finally get my car to kick on and drive to the bar. My adrenaline was pumping he was at a bar ignoring my calls for hours when he was just supposed to have a meeting for 2 hours. He was there from 4:30 to 10:00 for this “meeting” with all his coworkers. The female coworker in question was hip to hip to him. Yes she’s 19 in a bar. How? I don’t know… he has his manager, He’s the General Manager and she’s his “apprentice”. I was very upset that night but they all welcomed me, not him 😂 she went and sat with him the whole time while he was glaring at me because everyone was hanging out with me and I wasn’t supposed to be there and I embarrassed him for showing up. Then another time comes where he ended buying me all the stuff I needed to finally do my hobby of acrylic nails (been wanting to do for years) I get all of it and he says I have to do her nails, not a want but have to because she wanted them done. I set up a time with her and ended up wanting to do it at her house. He freaked out called me names and everything because I wanted to do it over there. Not sure if it was because he thought I was thinking something? She ended up cancelling anyways! there’s multiple pictures of her in his phone that are work related but why so many of just this one coworker. He says she’s his apprentice! They text a lot and they text more than we do. The text of there’s compared to the other coworker girl he has is completely night and day and actually was laughable how dull he was being to the other female coworker compared to this one. I go crazy and read these texts over and over because I can’t get past something not feeling right. The quick texting back and fourth when he tells me he can’t even text at work due to being busy. They text I guess when they split off teams. He said he accidentally sent a “ok beautiful “ text to her, he deleted it and I saw it. He did text her he meant to send that to her brother right after that. And then there was this recent text. He’s helping her move up in the field and she went home to change her clothes and he said “ahhhh getting all sales girl’d up I see nice” . Shes inappropriate with her jokes with him, he sends her stuff she should get. On top of that he’s been in the field for 7 years and all of a sudden he wants to buy a bunch of expensive new clothes for just work ( makes he’s color coordinated which is different) he puts cologne on (wouldn’t be weird if in the whole 12 years of being with him him he never did that before going to a labor job), wants to get tatted up out of no where (I love tattoos, i have multiple and so does he) he wants to go get scheduled to get his chest and neck tattooed. Wants designer clothes just really materialistic out of no where with a big ego. Doesn’t spend much time with the kids anymore.. Never was like him before this job which started in February. He gets really mad anytime I bring her up in any way that’s not lifting her up. He praises her when he knocks everything I do. He lets her be as late as she wants everyday, definitely not like him. I have PTSD and ADD, not sure if I’m rationally thinking or not that’s the worst part of having this crap. I feel like at this point, I’m in the wrong for looking. I had a wake up call from this situation that I needed to do more for him. I can say our relationship has been strain for a long time. Since this situation it has been going a lot better, but just this co-worker girl. Am I going crazy y’all? Is he flirting, or you think somethings going on? Reddit I know you guys got my back 🩷
submitted by UnusualEmergency8968 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 16:37 Miiamagnolia Tester call: Princess cardigan
 | 🩰TESTER CALL: PRINCESS CARDIGAN 🩰 submitted by Miiamagnolia to PatternTesting [link] [comments] You will find the complete tester call from my Instagram if you are there: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C68r5aONvkT/?igsh=ajN0eWt5YmZ4MGNi If you are not on Instagram, you can send me dm here 🩷 The princess cardigan is here! I'm looking for up to 12 volunteers to test my new crochet pattern 😍 The cardigan is quite fast to work with, since it's crocheted with oversize hook. The pattern comes with sizes XXS-XXXL. The sizes: Chest circumference and chest circumference of the cardigan (cm): XXS 🎀 70 ➡️ 83 XS 🎀 80 ➡️ 95 S 🎀 90 ➡️ 106 M 🎀 100 ➡️ 118 L 🎀 110 ➡️ 130 XL 🎀 120 ➡️ 142 XXL 🎀 130 ➡️ 153 XXXL 🎀 140 ➡️ 165 The cardigan is made with a positive ease. You can also make more fitted my choosing one or two sizes smaller. 🩰 Size advice: In the photo, I'm wearing size M. My chest circumference is about 100 cm. But for fitted suze, I would choose even xs, with small negative ease. I'm looking for one tester per size, or atleast 4 testers in different sizes :) 🩰 ABOUT THE PATTERN 🩰
Needed skills: -Chain -Double crochet (US terms) -Standing double crochet or 3 chains -Increasing (two in same loop) -Decreasing (two stitches together) -Slip stitch -Weaving the ends Difficulty 2/5: the stitches are simple, but there are many steps to follow 🩰 WHAT I EXPECT FROM YOU 🎀
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2024.05.14 16:31 Puzzleheaded-Use2553 I had a bad experience with Vocational Rehab. I don't know if I am overreacting though.
About half a year ago, my therapist helped me get approved for VR for my anxiety and my learning disability. The facility I received services at is in the Space Coast area of Florida. I was really looking forward to their services, as it is hard for me to keep most jobs (fast food, cashiering) because of my extreme anxiety. I didn't know what to really expect. I'd meet up at McDonalds with my career specialist assigned to me. She was helpful by showing me better ways to hunt for jobs on indeed and prepared a nice resume for me which I appreciated. I felt a little confused about the fact they tried to train me on how to be successful at interviews. I appreciated their advice though, but that is about the extent of what they did for me. They'd occasionally send me job listings through gmail which I would apply to. They also offered to take me to interviews which I also greatly appreciated. I have to admit though, some things made me feel really uncomfortable. The woman who did my intake and helped connect me to my career specialist was often sort of cold and unkind. At one point, I was living with people who were getting evicted. I had explained to her that I might not be able to keep a job in that particular area because I might need to relocate. It took me a couple weeks to finally get moved in somewhere, but almost every day this woman called me to ask for updates. At one point, she got upset and impatient with me because I hadn't been able to settle in a location yet. She often had that sort of tone with me, which made me uncomfortable every time I saw a phone call from her. She also talked about other people who receive VR and how they frustrate her. To me, It seemed like she didn't like her job & felt impatient because time is money to these employees. They assigned me to a career specialist named S. I won't give her full name for the sake of privacy. While she was helpful at times, she too would come off very impatient. Despite telling her I was hoping to find jobs that would be less triggering for my anxiety, she would apply to walmart cashiering jobs for me and other positions that are the opposite of what I would be comfortable with. She continued doing so even though I explained my preferences to her. When I found a job I was interested in, that I had applied for and scored an interview with, she told me I was making poor decisions. I had a feeling she was also in a rush because she wanted to get paid. I went back to the other woman who did my intake, we will call her M. I told her I wanted to try to work with another career specialist. While talking to her about this, she seemed annoyed but went ahead and put me with a guy named A. A usually had a pretty good attitude, and I didn't mind working with him. He listened to my preferences and tried to help me find jobs I'd like. But because M kept calling me and telling me I was taking too much time to find a job, I applied for a local grocery store and got hired on as a cashier, despite knowing I wouldn't be able to handle it because of my anxiety. A week in, I contracted norovirus and got sick. I left work for two days, but came back with a doctors note. While working at this place, I asked my boss two times about my schedule, and each time I did, she was really upset at me for asking her. I was also really confused as to why it made her upset that I asked, because I had no idea where to find out what days I needed to work. This particular boss was just mean to her employees in general. The people I worked with were at least nice, but my bosses attitude combined with the fact I still didn't know what my schedule was (And i was too afraid to ask her for clarification) made me feel so uncomfortable that I walked out. I told my career specialist the truth, but instead of understanding, he got upset and suggested he and I set a meeting up with my boss so he can try to fix the situation. He said "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but when we are in that meeting, I'm going to throw you under the bus a bit." He went on to explain that he was basically going to shame me in front of my boss about me having to miss two days and try to beg her to let me stay. I reluctantly agreed with his plan. It has been about four days and I haven't answered any of the messages or calls from VR. I know I can be sensitive, but I really felt uncomfortable with it all. I still do. I have had this impression, again, that the VR workers really don't care and they only care about getting paid. I felt similarly when I was in Jobcorps earlier on in my life. Myself and others were treated like delinquents and made to feel stupid there, in a place where people go to get career training.. to get help. But just like jobcorps, VR here feels like another place where people are treated with disrespect. Sometimes I don't know if its just me, or if these programs just suck. I know not everyone has a bad experience with VR. I would also like to mention that the office staff at the VR location I went to had a cold vibe about them. I don't know how to explain it. I mostly wanted to write about this here to get it off my chest. I don't know. Maybe I am the problem. Or maybe it is because I am in Florida.
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2024.05.14 16:30 Corruptfun As If It Were Kismet Prologue & Chapters 1-5
As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”
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Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”
2024.05.14 16:25 Mophandel Archaeotherium, the King of the White River Badlands
 | Art by Bob Nicholls submitted by Mophandel to Naturewasmetal [link] [comments] Nowadays, when we envision the words “prey,” among modern mammalian fauna, few taxa come to mind as quickly as the hoofed mammals, better known as the ungulates. Indeed, for the better part of their entire evolutionary history, the ungulates have become entirely indistinguishable from the term “prey.” Across their two major modern branches, the artiodactyls (the “even-toed ungulates,” such as bovids, pigs, deer, hippos and giraffes) and the perissodactyls (the “odd-toed ungulates,” including horses, rhinos and tapir), the ungulates too have created an empire spanning nearly every continent, establishing themselves as the the dominant herbivores throughout their entire range. However, as a price for such success, their lot as herbivores have forced them into an unenviable position: being the food for the predators. Indeed, throughout the diets of most modern predators, ungulates make up the majority, if not the entirety, of their diet, becoming their counterparts in this evolutionary dance of theirs. They have become the lamb to their wolf, the zebra to their lion, the stag to their tiger. If there is a predator in need of lunch, chances are that there is an ungulate there to provide it. Of course, such a dynamic is not necessarily a recent innovation. For the last 15-20 million years, across much of the world, both new and old, the ungulates have served as prey for these predators through it all. Over the course of whole epochs, these two groups have played into these roles for millions of years, coevolving with each other in an eons-long game of cat-and-mouse. The shoes they fill are not new, but have existed for ages, and within their niches they have cultivated their roles to perfection. Indeed, with such a tenured history, it seems hardly surprising the ungulates are wholly inseparable from the terms “prey,” itself. However, while this is the case now, as it has been for the last 15-20 million years, go back far enough, and we see that this dynamic is not as set in stone as we would think. Indeed, back during the Eocene and Oligocene, during the very earliest days of age of mammals, things were very different for the ungulates. While today they are considered little more than food for modern predators, during these olden days, the ungulates weren’t quite so benign. In fact, far from being fodder for top predators, the ungulates had turned the tables, instead becoming top predators themselves. Indeed, though nearly unheard of today, throughout much of the Eocene and Oligocene, carnivorous ungulates thrived in abundance, developing specializations for catching large prey and establishing themselves as top predators that competed alongside the more traditional carnivores, and even dominating them in some instances. Given such success, it’s no wonder that multiple such clades had arisen during this time. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of (ironically) hoof-less ungulates with large jaws and sharp teeth for capturing large prey. There were also the mesonychians, a lineage of dog-like ungulates with massive skulls and jaws that allowed them to reign as the top predator across much of the Eocene. However, among these various lineages, one stands stands out among the rest, by far. Arising during the Eocene, this lineage, though superficially resembling modern pigs, hailed from one an ancient lineage of artiodactyls far removed from swine or most other ungulates in general, with few close relatives alive today. Through perhaps not the most predatory of the bunch, it was among the most formidable, as their superficially pig-like appearance came with giant predatory jaws and teeth unlike anything from the modern era. And of course, as if all of that wasn’t enough, this lineage also went on to earn arguably one of the most badass nicknames of any lineage of mammals, period. These predators, of course, were the entelodonts, a.k.a the “hell-pigs.” More so than any other predatory ungulate lineage, these formidable ungulates were the ones to turn the current paradigm upside down, becoming some of the largest and most dominant carnivores in their landscape, even with (and often in spite of) the presence of more traditional predators. Through impressive size, fearsome teeth and sheer tenacity, these animals became the top dogs of their time, ruling as behemoth-kings of their Paleogene kingdoms, domineering all comers, and throughout the ranks, one entelodont in particular demonstrated such dominance the best. Though not the largest or most powerful of their kind, it is one of the most iconic, being among the most well-known members of its lineage to date. Moreover, this enteledont also has some of the most complete life histories ever seen out of this clade, with its brutality and predatory prowess being displayed in the fossil record in a way seen in no other member of its kind. More than anything else, however, it was this predator that best turned the notion of “ungulates being prey” on its head, living in an environment that bore some of the largest carnivoran hypercarnivores to date and still reigning as the undisputed top predator of its domain. This fearsome beast was none other than Archaeotherium, icon of the entelodonts, terror of the Oligocene American west and undisputed king of the White River badlands. The rise of Archaeotherium (and of entelodonts in general) is closely tied to the ascendancy of carnivorous ungulates as a whole, one of the earliest evolutionary success stories of the entire Cenozoic. Having become their own derived clade since the late Cretaceous, the ungulates were remarkably successful during the early Paleogene, as they were among the first mammalian clades to reach large sizes during those early days after the non-avian dinosaurs had gone extinct. As such, it was with incredible swiftness that, as the Paleogene progressed, the ungulates swooped upon the various niches left empty by the K-Pg mass extinction that killed the dinosaurs. This of course included the herbivorous niches we would know them for today, but this also included other, much more carnivore roles. Indeed, early on during the Paleogene, it was the ungulates that first seized the roles of large mammalian predators, becoming some the earliest large mammalian carnivores to ever live, well before even the carnivorans. Such predators included the arctocyonids, a lineage of vaguely dog-like, hoof-less ungulates with robust jaws and sharpened teeth that acted as some of earliest large carnivores of the Paleocene, with genera such as Arctocyon mumak getting up to the size of big cats. Even more prolific were the mesonychids. More so than what pretty much any other lineage of predator, it was the mesonychids that would stand out as the earliest dominant predators of the early Cenozoic. Growing up to the size of bears and with enormous, bone-crushing jaws, the mesonychids were among the most powerful and successful predators on the market at that time, with a near-global range and being capable of subjugating just about any other predator in their environments. Indeed, they, along with other carnivorous ungulates (as well as ungulates in general), were experiencing a golden age during this time, easily being the most prolific predators of the age. Given such prevalence, it should be no surprise that there would be yet another lineage of predatory ungulates would throw their hat into the ring, and by early Eocene, that contender would none other than the entelodonts. The very first entelodonts had arisen from artiodactyl ancestors during the Eocene epoch, at a time when artiodactyls were far more diverse and bizarre than they are now. Through today known from their modern herbivorous representatives such as bovines, deer, and antelope, during the Paleocene and Eocene, the artiodacyls, as with most ungulates of that time, were stronger and far more predaceous, particularly when it came to one such clade of artiodactyls, the cetacodontamorphs. Only known today from hippos and another group of artiodactyls (one which will become relevant later), the cetacodantomorphs emerged out of Asia around 55 million years ago, at around the same time that artiodactyls themselves had made their debut. These animals included the first truly predatory artiodactyls, with many of them possessing large skulls with powerful jaws and sharp, predatory teeth. Among their ranks included animals as puny as Indohyus, a piscivorous artiodactyl the size of a cat, to as formidable as Andrewsarchus, a giant, bison-sized predator often touted as one of the largest predatory mammals to ever live. Given such a predatory disposition, it wouldn’t be long until this clade produced a lineage of truly diverse, truly successful predators, and by around 40 million years ago, that is exactly what they did, as it was at that time that the entelodonts themselves first emerged. From their Asian homeland, the entelodonts spread across the world, spreading through not only most of Eurasia but also colonizing North America as well, with genera such as Brachyhyops being found across both continents. Here, in this North American frontier, the entelodonts began to diversify further, turning into their most successful and formidable forms yet, and it was around the late Eocene and early Oligocene that Archaeotherium itself had entered the scene. Just from a passing glance at Archaeotherium, it is clear how exactly it (as well as the other entelodonts) earned the nickname of “hell-pigs.” It was a bruiser for starters; its body bore a robust, pig-like physique, with prominent neural spines and their associated musculature forming a hump around the shoulder region, similar to the hump of a bison. With such a bulky physique came with it impressive size; the average A. mortoni had a head-body length of roughly 1.6-2.0 m (5.3-6.6 ft), a shoulder height of 1.2 m (4 ft) and a body mass of around 180 kg (396 lb) in weight (Boardman & Secord, 2013; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes, an adult Archaeotherium the size of a large male black bear. However, they had the potential to get even bigger. While most Archaeotherium specimens were around the size described above, a select few specimens, labeled under the synonymous genus “Megachoerus,” are found to be much larger, with skulls getting up to 66% longer than average A. mortoni specimens (Foss, 2001; Joeckel, 1990). At such sizes and using isometric scaling, such massive Archaeotherium specimens would attained body lengths over 2.5 m (8.2 ft) and would have reached weighs well over 500 kg (1100 lb), or as big as a mature male polar bear. Indeed, at such sizes, it is already abundantly evident that Archaeotherium is a force to be recorded with. However, there was more to these formidable animals than sheer size alone. Behind all that bulk was an astoundingly swift and graceful predator, especially in terms of locomotion. Indeed, the hoofed feet of Archaeotherium, along with other entelodonts, sported several adaptations that gave it incredible locomotive efficiency, essentially turning it into a speed demon of the badlands. Such adaptations include longer distal leg elements (e.g. the radius and tibia) than their proximal counterparts (e.g. the humerus and femur), fusion of the radius and ulna for increased running efficiency, the loss of the clavicle (collar-bone) to allow for greater leg length, the loss of the acromion to enhance leg movement along the fore-and-aft plane, the loss of digits to reduce the mass of the forelimb, the fusion of the ectocuneiform and the mesocuneiform wrist-bones, among many other such traits (Theodore, 1996) . Perhaps most significant of these adaptations is the evolution of the “double-pulley astragalus (ankle-bone),” a specialized modification of the ankle that, while restricting rotation and side-to-side movement at the ankle-joint, allows for greater rotation in the fore-and-aft direction, thus allowing for more more powerful propulsion from the limbs, faster extension and retraction of the limbs and overall greater locomotive efficiency (Foss, 2001). Of course, such a trait was not only found in entelodonts but in artiodactyls as a whole, likely being a response to predatory pressures from incumbent predatory clades arising at the same time as the artiodactyls (Foss, 2001). However, in the case of the entelodonts, such adaptations were not used for merely escaping predators. Rather, they were used to for another, much more lethal effect… Such notions are further reinforced by the entelodonts most formidable aspect, none either than their fearsome jaws, and in this respect, Archaeotherium excelled. Both for its size and in general, the head of Archaeotherium was massive, measuring 40-50 cm (1.3-1.6 ft) in length among average A. mortoni specimens, to up to 78 cm (~2.6 ft) in the larger “Megachoerus” specimens (Joeckel, 1990). Such massive skulls were supported and supplemented by equally massive neck muscles and ligaments, which attached to massive neural spines on the anterior thoracic vertebrae akin to a bisons hump as well as to the sternum, allowing Archaeotherium to keep its head aloft despite the skulls massive size (Effinger, 1998). Of course, with such a massive skull, it should come as no surprise that such skulls housed exceptionally formidable jaws as well, and indeed, the bite of Archaeotherium was an especially deadly one. Its zygomatic arches (cheek-bones) and its temporal fossa were enlarged and expanded, indicative of massive temporalis muscles that afforded Archaeotherium astoundingly powerful bites (Joeckel, 1990). This is further augmented by Archaeotherium’s massive jugal flanges (bony projections of the cheek), which supported powerful masseter muscles which enhanced chewing and mastication, as well as an enlarged postorbital bar that reinforced the skull against torsional stresses (Foss, 2001). Last but not least, powerful jaws are supplemented by an enlarged gape, facilitated by a low coronoid process and enlarged posterior mandibular tubercles (bony projections originating from the lower jaw), which provided an insertion site for sternum-to-mandible jaw abduction muscles, allowing for a more forceful opening of the jaw (Foss, 2001). All together, such traits suggest a massive and incredibly fearsome bite, perhaps the most formidable of any animal in its environment. Of course, none of such traits are especially indicative of a predatory lifestyle. Indeed, many modern non-predatory ungulates, like hippos, pigs and peccaries, also possess large, formidable skulls and jaws. However, in peeling back the layers, it is found there was more to the skull of Archaeotherium that lies in store. Indeed, when inspecting the animal closely, a unique mosaic of features is revealed; traits that make it out to be much more lethal than the average artiodactyl. On one hand, Archaeotherium possessed many traits similar to those of herbivores animals, as is expected of ungulates. For instance, its jaw musculature that allowed the lower jaw of Archaeotherium a full side-to-side chewing motion as in herbivores (whereas most carnivores can only move their lower jaw up and down)(Effinger, 1998). On the other hand, Archaeotherium wielded many other traits far more lethal in their morphology, less akin to a herbivore and far more akin to a bonafide predator. For instance, the aforementioned enlarged gape of Archaeotherium is a bizarre trait on a supposed herbivore, as such animals do not need large gapes to eat vegetation and thus have smaller, more restricted gapes. Conversely, many predatory lineages have comparatively large gapes, as larger gapes allow for the the jaws to grab on to more effectively larger objects, namely large prey animals (Joeckel, 1990). Such a juxtaposition, however, is most evident when discussing the real killing instruments of Archaeotherium — the teeth. More so than any facet of this animal, the teeth of Archaeotherium are the real stars of the show, showing both how alike it was compared to its herbivores counterparts and more importantly, how it couldn’t be more different. For instance, the molars of Archaeotherium were quite similar to modern herbivores ungulates, in that they were robust, bunodont, and were designed for crushing and grinding, similar in form and function to modern ungulates like peccaries (Joeckel, 1990). However, while the molars give the impression that Archaeotherium was a herbivore, the other teeth tell a very different story. The incisors, for example, were enlarged, sharpened, and fully interlocked (as opposed to the flat-topped incisors seen in herbivores ungulates), creating an incisor array that was seemingly ill-suited for cropping vegetation and much more adept at for gripping, puncturing and cutting (Joeckel, 1990). Even more formidable were the canines. Like the modern pigs from which entelodonts derived their nicknames, the canines of Archaeotherium were sharp and enlarged to form prominent tusk-like teeth, but unlike pigs, they were rounded in cross-section (similar to modern carnivores like big cats, indicating more durable canines that can absorb and resist torsional forces, such as those from struggling prey) and were serrated to form a distinct cutting edge (Effinger, 1998; Joeckel, 1990; Ruff & Van Valkenburgh, 1987). These canines, along with the incisors, interlock to stabilize the jaws while biting and dismantling in a carnivore-like fashion. More strikingly, the canines also seem to act as “occlusal guides,” wherein the canines help align the movement and position of the rear teeth as they come together, allowing for a more efficient shearing action by the rear teeth. This function is seen most prevalently modern carnivores mammals, and is evidenced by the canine tooth-wear, which is also analogous to modern predators like bears and canids (Joeckel, 1990). Indeed, going off such teeth alone, it is clear that Archaeotherium is far more predatory than expected of an ungulate. However, the real stars of the show, the teeth that truly betray the predatory nature of these ungulates, are the premolars. Perhaps the most carnivore-like teeth in the entelodont’s entire tooth row, the premolars of Archaeotherium, particularly the anterior premolars, are laterally compressed, somewhat conical in shape, and are weakly serrated to bear a cutting edge, giving them a somewhat carnivorous form and function of shearing and slicing (Effinger, 1998). Most strikingly of all, the premolars of Archaeotherium bear unique features similar not to modern herbivores, but to durophagous carnivores like hyenas, particularly apical wear patterns, highly thickened enamel, “zigzag-shaped” enamel prism layers (Hunter-Schraeger bands) on the premolars which is also seen in osteophagous animals like hyenas, and an interlocking premolar interface wherein linear objects (such as bones) inserted into jaws from the side would be pinned between the premolars and crushed (Foss, 2001). Taken together, these features do not suggest a diet of grass or vegetation like other ungulates. Rather, they suggest a far more violent diet, one including flesh as well as hard, durable foods, particularly bone. All in all, the evidence is clear. Archaeotherium and other entelodonts, unlike the rest of their artiodactyl kin, were not the passive herbivores as we envision ungulates today. Rather, they were willing, unrepentant meat-eaters that had a taste for flesh as well as foliage. Of course, even with such lines of evidence, its hard to conclude that Archaeotherium was a true predator. After all, its wide gape and durophagous teeth could have just as easily been used for scavenging or even to eat tough plant matter such as seeds or nuts, as in peccaries and pigs, which themselves share many of the same adaptations as Archaeotherium, include the more carnivorous ones (e.g. the wide gape, using the canines as an occlusal guide, etc.). How exactly do we know that these things were veritable predators and not pretenders to the title. To this end, there is yet one last piece of evidence, one that puts on full display the predatory prowess of Archaeotherium —evidence of a kill itself. Found within oligocene-aged sediment in what is now Wyoming, a collection of various fossil remains was found, each belonging to the ancient sheep-sized camel Poebrotherium, with many of the skeletal remains being disarticulated and even missing whole hindlimbs or even entire rear halves of their body. Tellingly, many of the remains bear extensive bite marks and puncture wounds across their surface. Upon close examination, the spacing and size of the punctures leave only one culprit: Archaeotherium. Of course, such an event could still have been scavenging; the entelodonts were consuming the remains of already dead, decomposed camels, explaining the bite marks. What was far more telling, however, was where the bite marks were found. In addition bite marks being found on the torso and lumbar regions of the camels, various puncture wounds were found on the skull and neck, which were otherwise uneaten. Scavengers rarely feast on the head to begin with; there is very little worthwhile meat on it besides the brain, cheek-muscles and eyes, and even if they did feed on the skull and neck, they would still eat it wholesale, not merely bite it and then leave it otherwise untouched. Indeed, it was clear that this was no mere scavenging event. Rather than merely consuming these camels, Archaeotherium was actively preying upon and killing them, dispatching them via a crushing bite to the skull or neck before dismembering and even bisecting the hapless camels with their powerful jaws to preferentially feast on their hindquarters (likely by swallowing the hindquarters whole, as the pelvis of Poebrotherium was coincidentally the perfect width for Archaeotherium to devour whole), eventually discarding the leftovers in meat caches for later consumption (Sundell, 1999). With this finding, such a feat of brutality leaves no doubt in ones mind as to what the true nature of Archaeotherium was. This was no herbivore, nor was it a simple scavenger. This was an active, rapacious predator, the most powerful in its entire ecosystem. Indeed, with such brutal evidence of predation frozen in time, combined with various dental, cranial, and post cranial adaptations of this formidable animal, it’s possible to paint a picture of how this formidable creature lived. Though an omnivore by trade, willing and able to feast on plant matter such as grass, roots and tubers, Archaeotherium was also a wanton predator that took just about any prey it wanted. Upon detecting its prey, it approached its vicim from ambush before launching itself at blazing speed. From there, its cursorial, hoofed legs, used by other ungulates for escape predation, were here employed to capture prey, carrying it at great speeds as it caught up to its quarry. Having closed the distance with its target, it was then that the entelodont brought its jaws to bear, grabbing hold of the victim with powerful jaws and gripping teeth to bring it to a screeching halt. If the victim is lucky, Archaeotherium will then kill it quickly with a crushing bite to the skull or neck, puncturing the brain or spinal cord and killing its target instantly. If not, the victim is eaten alive, torn apart while it’s still kicking, as modern boars will do today. In any case, incapacitated prey are subsequently dismantled, with the entelodont using its entire head and heavily-muscled necks to bite into and pull apart its victim in devastating “puncture-and pull’ bites (Foss, 2001). Prey would then finally be consumed starting at the hindquarters, with not even the bones of its prey being spared. Such brutality, though far from clean, drove home a singular truth: that during this time, ungulates were not just prey, that they were not the mere “predator-fodder” we know them as today. rather, they themselves were the predators themselves, dominating as superb hunters within their domain and even suppressing clades we know as predators today, least of all the carnivorans. Indeed, during this point in time, the age of the carnivorous ungulates had hit their stride, and more specifically, the age of entelodonts had begun. Of course, more so than any other ettelodont, Archaeotherium took to this new age with gusto. Archaeotherium lived from 35-28 million years ago during the late Eocene and early Oligocene in a locality known today as the White River Badlands, a fossil locality nestled along the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains. Though a chalky, barren landscape today, during the time of Archaeotherium, the White River Badlands was a swamp-like floodplain crisscrossed with rivers and interspersed with by a mosaic of forests concentrated around waterways, open woodlands and open plains. As with most ecosystems with such a lush disposition, this locale teemed with life, with ancient hornless rhinos, small horse-like hyracodonts and early camels roaming the open habitats while giant brontotheres, small early horses and strange, sheep-like ungulates called merycoidodonts (also known as “oreodonts”) dwelled within the dense forests. Within this locale, Archaeotherium stalked the open woodlands and riparian forests of its domain. Here, it acted as a dominant predator and scavenger across is territory, filling a niche similar to modern grizzly bears but far more predatory. Among its preferred food items would be plant matter such as roots, foliage and nuts, but also meat in the form of carrion or freshly caught prey. In this respect, smaller ungulates such as the fleet-footed camel Poebrotherium, a known prey item of Archaeotherium, would have made a for choice prey, as its small size would make it easy for Archaeotherium to dispatch with its powerful jaws, while the entelodonts swift legs gave it the speed necessary to keep pace with its agile prey. However, the entelodont didn’t have such a feast all to itself. Just as the badlands teemed with herbivores, so too did it teem with rival predators. Among their ranks included fearsome predators such as Hyaenodon, a powerful, vaguely dog-like predator up to the size of wolves (as in H. horridus) or even lions (as in the Eocene-aged H. megaloides, which was replaced by H. horridus during the Oligocene). Armed with a massive head, fierce jaws and a set of knife-like teeth that could cut down even large prey in seconds, these were some of the most formidable predators on the landscape. There were also the nimravids, cat-like carnivorans that bore saber-teeth to kill large prey in seconds, and included the likes of the lynx-sized Dinictis, the leopard-sized Hoplophoneus and even the jaguar-sized Eusmilus. Furthermore, there were amphicyonids, better known as the bear-dogs. Though known from much larger forms later on in their existence, during the late Eocene and Oligocene, they were much smaller and acted as the “canid-analogues” of the ecosystem, filling a role similar to wolves or coyotes. Last but not least, there were the bathornithid birds, huge cariamiform birds related to modern seriemas but much larger, which filled a niche similar to modern seriemas or secretary birds, albeit on a much larger scale. Given such competition, it would seem that Archaeotherium would have its hands full. However, things are not as they appear. For starters, habitat differences would mitigate high amounts of competition, as both Hyaenodon and the various nimravids occupy more specialized ecological roles (being a plains-specialist and forest-specialist, respectively) than did Archaeotherium, providing a buffer to stave off competition: More importantly, however, none of the aforementioned predators were simply big enough to take Archaeotherium on. During the roughly 7 million years existence of Archaeotherium, the only carnivore that matched it in size was H. megaloides, and even that would have an only applied to average A. mortoni individuals, not to the much larger, bison-sized “Megachoerus” individuals. The next largest predator at that point would be the jaguars-sized Eusmilus (specifically E. adelos) which would have only been a bit more than half the size of even an average A. mortoni. Besides that, virtually every other predator on the landscape was simply outclassed by the much larger entelodont in terms of size and brute strength. As such, within its domain, Archaeotherium had total, unquestioned authority, dominating the other predators in the landscape and likely stealing their kills as well. In fact, just about the only threat Archaeotherium had was other Archaeotherium, as fossil bite marks suggest that this animal regularly and fraglantly engaged in intraspecific combat, usually through face-biting and possibly even jaw-wrestling (Effinger, 1998; Tanke & Currie, 1998). Nevertheless, it was clear that Archaeotherium was the undisputed king of the badlands; in a landscape of hyaenodonts and carnivorans galore, it was a hoofed ungulate that reigned supreme. However, such a reign would not last. As the Eocene transitioned into the Eocene, the planet underwent an abrupt cooling and drying phase known as Eocene-Oligocene Transition or more simply the Grande Coupure. This change in climate would eliminate the sprawling wetlands and river systems that Archaeotherium had been depending on, gradually replacing it with drier and more open habitats. To its credit, Archaeotherium did manage to hang on, persisting well after the Grand-Coupure had taken place, but in the end the damage had been done; Archaeotherium was a dead-man-walking. Eventually, by around 28 million years ago, Archaeotherium would go extinct, perishing due to this change in global climate (Gillham, 2019). Entelodonts as a whole would persist into the Miocene, producing some of their largest forms ever known in the form of the bison-sized Daeodon (which was itself even more carnivorous than Archaeotherium), however they too would meet the same fate as their earlier cousins. By around 15-20 million years ago, entelodonts as a whole would go extinct. However, while the entelodonts may have perished, this was not the end of carnivorous ungulates as a whole. Recall that the cetacodontamorphs, the lineage of artiodactyls that produced the entelodonts, left behind two living descendants. The first among them were the hippos, themselves fairly frequent herbivores. The second of such lineage, however, was a different story. Emerging out of South Asia, this lineage of piscivorous cetacodontamorphs, in a an attempt to further specialize for the fish-hunting lifestyle, began to delve further and further into the water, becoming more and more aquatic and the millennia passed by. At a certain point, these carnivorous artiodactlys had become something completely unrecognizable from their original hoofed forms. Their skin became hairless and their bodies became streamlined for life in water. Their hoofed limbs grew into giant flippers for steering in the water and their previously tiny tails became massive and sported giant tail flukes for aquatic propulsion. Their noses even moved to the tip of their head, becoming a blowhole that would be signature to this clade as a whole. Indeed, this clade was none other than the modern whales, themselves derived, carnivorous ungulates that had specialized for a life in the water, and in doing so, became the some of the most dominant aquatic predators across the globe for millions of years. Indeed, though long gone, the legacy of the entelodonts and of predatory ungulates as a whole, a legacy Archaeotherium itself had helped foster, lives on in these paragons of predatory prowess, showing that the ungulates are more than just the mere “prey” that they are often made out to be. Moreover, given the success that carnivorous ungulates had enjoyed in the past and given how modern omnivorous ungulates like boar dabble in predation themselves, perhaps, in the distant future, this planet may see the rise of carnivorous ungulates once again, following in the footsteps left behind by Archaeotherium and the other predatory ungulates all those millions of years ago. |