Okay y’all I posted when I was about 3 seasons in lol and someone told me to stop spoiling everything for myself so I stayed off the sub and waited. Well now I’m toward the tail end of s12 and I know it’s been argued to death, but I’m her to give validity to the Bird and Noah section.
Most people think that Bird was in love w Noah when they saw the way she interacted with “Rhain Alicia”. How she constantly called her Noah’s girl instead of her name and so on.. but I wasn’t convinced at all, she just seemed like a girl who was mad that someone had come and taken her best friend. It wasn’t until the news of Elijah that I began to see the hurt in Birds face every time she had to confront the fact that Noah was not only married but about to have a baby. As women we know the look well and Bird def has it in many episodes. I wasn’t completely sure until an episode in s12 where she and Noah make a barter for star wars costumes.
She talks about how they both loved Star Wars growing up and that he was always Luke and she was always Leia and they both identified w those characters. (Coincidence that they too were brother and sister who were love interests.) This rang alarm bells for me. What made them even louder is when Noah suggests that he needs two Jedi costumes one for him and one for “Rhain Alicia” and Bird says “Glad you didn’t ask for the Leia costume because there would have been no barter.” Seemingly stating that she will always be Leia and he will always be Luke. You can also tell that Noah def had a crush on Bird before he was married from these interactions. He seemingly likes reminding her that he now has a wife and baby. But he does and says little things to remind her that he cares (“That beautiful green reminds me of Birds Eye’s.”) They definitely flirt in subtle ways. I also think “”Rhain Alicia” feels it and sees it which probably caused an even bigger rift.
It’s A LOT of reading between the lines but it’s there. I would even go as far as to say it’s why Bird is uninterested in anyone else. It’s probably never been said aloud but they seem to both understand.
IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING THESE VIBES!?

My dad remarried when I was 12 after the death of my mom. My dad's wife was a widow also and had a 7 year old daughter at the time. I didn't blend the way they wanted me to. I don't hate my dad's wife or stepdaughter. I never felt a family bond with them though. But my stepsister can be really sweet. She's also special needs and behaves very young as a result. She struggles to comprehend things the way someone her age (20) would. And her view of the world is very young. It makes her far easier to manipulate and far easier to upset. There were times when I still lived with them that I had to be SO careful about the things I talked about because she would get so upset. Movies had to be very happy and cheerful and could not have death or bullying or any sarcasm in them because they could really upset her.
Which is why I'm so angry right now.
So I'm expecting a baby and my stepsister was so excited the last time she saw me and she told me she was so excited for me to have a boy named after he dad. I asked her what she meant and she told me my dad and her mom told her that I was going to name a boy after her dad like I'd name a girl after my mom. She told me she hopes I have a boy and she was so excited and so easily believed that I was going to do that. I mentioned this to my dad and he sheepishly admitted they had told her that and that they were going to ask me to considering naming a son after my stepsister's dad because it would mean so much to her. I told him I wasn't going to do that and he should have known that. He told me they figured but they also really wanted his stepdaughter to be happy.
I spoke to him with his wife present and told him to correct the lie they told or he can deal with the consequences of not doing so. She told me I would be heartless to deny her daughter this. My dad asked why I wouldn't do it and I told him because I'm not the one who told the lie. I told him the choice was up to him and he can live with the consequences.
They said I was blackmailing them and playing games which wasn't fair.
AITA?

10 yrs ago my wife and I adopted a dog. A little tiny chihuahua. We named her Emo, she was my little angel. She literally went everywhere with us. At 27 I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and panic attacks on that daily. My Emo was of great comfort to me! My wife has never been one to comfort or nurture someone. She was never taught how to love people and growing up she was very spoiled and allowed to do whatever she pleased. Naturally I have always clunged to my dog Emo during the hardest times of my life since I wasn't getting support from my wife.
After many years and finding the right medicine I'm back to feeling like myself. I always cling on to My Emo tho during hard times, also just for love and attention. She was my side kick. Three weeks ago my sweet baby Emo developed phenomena. The vet suggested that we clear her lungs of fluid and start her up with an IV of medicine. I agreed. Unfourntly the moment they put her under, her heart stopped beating. She was allergic to anesthesia and we had no way of knowing this. After much effort from the vet and staff, my Emo passed away... I was on the floor in the vet office in tears. I stayed there for an hour crying over the loss of my dog. My wife and I both were sobbing. We went home to bury her and I must say that was the hardest moment of my life. I was so incredibly connected to my dog. I visit her grave often and talk to her and cry. Sometimes I just lay on her grave and baby talk to her. ( hopefully I'm not going loopy! ) My wife doesn't handle tragedy like I do. I need time to heal. I don't eat a lot. I've been reading a lot of books about healing from the loss of a pet. It's been almost unbearable for me. My wife cried the first night we lost Emo. She then has continued to go about her life.
She isn't a very emotional person and moves on extremely quickly with death. Last week we were watching the news and there was a story on how the animal shelters were over run. She immediately got happy and wanted to adopt a dog. I told her it had only been 2 weeks since we lost Emo and I wasn't ready. She got very mad at me about this and called me controlling and selfish because these dogs would be put to sleep. She then asked if we could at least save one dog from being put down and find him a home. I agreed very reluctantly beacuse I wanted the fight to end. I told her I didn't even want to do this but I was too sad to keep fighting. We went to the shelter to get the dog. My wife was so happy, talking to the staff their she was hinting around on how he was going to be a permanent dog in our home. Surrounded by a place that reminded me of a vet and hearing my wife say how this dog was now going to live with us forever ( without asking me) by the time we got back in the car I lost it. I sobbed like a baby all the way home while my wife looked on at me in confusion. When we got back home I ran to my Emo's grave and I curled up in a ball and layed there sobbing. My wife seemed so confused. I immediately grabbed a blanket and my pillow and moved in to the guest bedroom. After 12 years of being together and never having a say so in just about anything and begging her not to adopt a dog because I was in no way emotionally ready. She adopts a dog anyways. She has a very short fuse and a bad temper. She likes to be in charge of things. Always being the driver of the car. Our sex life which is usually only a few times a year. She gets on to me about little things and snaps at me like I'm a child. She loves connecting to animals but not humans.
It's her way or the highway and she makes that VERY clear. After she adopted this new dog I told her I needed some time alone and I wanted to separate by living in the guest bedroom. She is reluctant to find this new dog a home but she has apologized for hurting me so bad and says she will find him a new home. I haven't noticed any effort on her part tho. That's another thing she does. She doesn't like to give anything 100% she would rather procrastinate a task then get it done. If I mention the task then she will call me bossy and controlling. It's been incredibly hard coming home and not seeing my Emo after 10 yrs of always seeing her here. The last thing I wanted was a new dog to take her place after only 3 weeks of her passing, we also have 3 other dogs to give our attention to. I feel like what my wife did was the icing on the cake and I'm thinking about leaving the marraige.. she doesn't have respect for me, she doesn't understand how to emotionally or physically connect to me. I've waited 12 yrs for her to change but she has never put in any effort to do so. She doesn't have any family. Her parents passed away almost a decade ago. She doesn't have aunts or uncles or cousins. She does however have my family and I assured here that if anything happens between us that I will make sure she stays in the family. My nieces and nephew would be devastated without her in their lives. That's one of her biggest fears when I told her I wanted to separate, was that she didn't have anyone in her life. I want her to always have my family for support and love. My parents adore her as well as my sister and brother. I just feel I need someone in my life that can actually meet my needs...
wibta for stepping out of the marriage of 12 yrs over this dog?? I don't want to hurt my wife but I've been neglected for years. She always says she's too insecure to love me properly. Sexually she won't even touch me in bed. She lays there as I do all the work. It's been that way since day one. Although she tells me shes attracted to me. She said because I had a relationship before her it intimidates her to be physical in bed.I've told her I love to kiss but she said she's never liked to kiss very long. She's more of a peck on the lips and then bye. She said she wants to change but she always says that when I mention I'm going to leave. However, she has never put in any effort to changing. I have a feeling she is already in love with this new dog and will not re home him. Is this good enough reason to leave?? Or am I thinking to emotionally right now since loosing my precious Emo?

Hello,
I'm really grateful for any help on this. I live in Florida and I am a married and disabled adult. My mom abuses me about disabilities. She offered the gift of moving to one of her units, inherited from my grandma, because we lost our house due to a flood. When we moved here, I lost my job due to being misdiagnosed and eventually discovering stage IV lesions. I've been fighting for my life for 4 years with surgeries but my mom / landlord claims that the money we pay her for rent is invalid because of my belief I am disabled.
She attempted to threat our housing for the past year. Then in April, started telling others we were moving but did not tell us. She promised in May on two different phone calls that my partner and I had on speaker phone to bare witness to, that she was going to evict me in retaliation for placing safe boundaries and his disbelief in my disability effect on earnings (again, we pay her rent and help earn her income with her other units). She then promised not to as I am in a medical emergency, just discovering basically the spread of my lesions. So...after attempting to self evict essentially, we didn't hear from her. When we reached out a few weeks later, she asked to have a meeting (which she did earlier in the month when attempting to extort me through threats of eviction). She texted me a 30 days to vacate notice and has refused to speak to me since. She will only speak to my partner to tell us to contact her attorney to find out our rights. SO here is our question :(
My wife and have lived in an apartment that her mother owns for 5 years. Their relationship has been toxic and volatile for most of this time. We never signed an actual lease, and I pay her a nominal amount every month. She has told us that she wants to help us move out several times over the last few months, and has threatened eviction and taken it back.
We got a 30 day notice to vacate. First, on May 30, she texted my wife a pdf of the letter. The next day, I received the letter in a priority mail envelope with a home printed label, and the day after that she got the same thing. The notice to vacate had a date to leave by June 31st, which is not a real date. There is no case number on the document and it says it was received through certified mail. It is not.
Does this notice have to be through certified mail with a signature? Does the wrong date to vacate make this unenforceable? Can we pay the court for July to appeal the vacate notice? Is there a way to somehow not acknowledge tenancy and say this is a family matter? We are in one of the worst real estate markets in the state and my wife will need life saving surgery for a third time very soon. Should we try to get a lawyer? Is it valid to claim that since there is no proof of a tenant landlord relationship, aside from monthly venmo payments, that there is a mother daughter conflict in terms of the gift? OR what protections are there for people with disabilities from housing retaliation.
This is how I responded to the 30 day to vacate notice. Is any of this worth fighting or is there any way to request simply more time so it doesn't endanger my health more? If we had the money to make this disappear, we would.
"This is how I responded to her lawyer, whose speciality is eviction and ejection. The last conversation I had with my "mom" she agreed to not to use any eviction process.
"I am writing to address the 30-day notice to vacate that you texted me. It is invalid for several reasons: it was not sent by certified mail, the vacate date is incorrect beyond clerical error, and most importantly, it claims we have a month-to-month tenancy, which we do not.
Our relationship is that of mother and daughter, not landlord and tenant.
I am grateful for your gift of this apartment. My last payment to you was in October 2022 to help with building supplies, not for rent.
I would much rather have a loving mother-daughter relationship than be forced to move while physically unable.
On May xx and May xx, you agreed not to force us into new housing. Can we set up a time with your lawyers to provide a document to formalize that agreement? Do you remember us agreeing to formalize our mother-daughter relationship and housing arrangement?
I am also open to discussing a tenancy agreement with your desired terms if you wish to change the terms of the gift. I have already provided the HIPAA-protected information you previously requested as the sole term. Are there other conditions you would like to discuss? Would you like further proof of my disabilities impact on my earnings?
This situation is causing me great distress and is harming my health. I am physically unable to move due to my disabilities. My husband works very hard and does not deserve this. Despite your actions contradicting our agreement, I want to resolve this conflict and rebuild our relationship.
1 in 2 people with endometriosis are suicidal due to the social and family isolation; a friend, died this week from thoracic endometriosis. Let’s have her life be a reminder after so much death of what truly matters as I focus on pulmonary function.
I am committed to repairing our relationship and hope you will consider resolutions to our mother-daughter issues. Are you willing to discuss entering into a formal tenancy agreement with me? If so, what terms would you like to include in such an agreement? For example, would you like to establish a 12-month lease? Or perhaps a 6-month agreement to allow us the necessary time to safely relocate within another housing market we can afford and as a disability accommodation?
I would prefer to continue to have a mother-daughter relationship. Are you open to discussing a compromise, such as allowing us to stay in the apartment for a longer period of time while we search for a new place? Will you commit to not sending any further notices until we speak as a family, with a mediator if you prefer, or have a formal agreement in place? Is it possible to rebuild a way to communicate and see each other?
xx xx is the anniversary of my surgery and Father's Day weekend. [my dad is deceased] I hope we can spend that day celebrating together and move forward and de-escalate collectively. Would you like to start with this? More hurt is the last thing our family needs.
I am very grateful for this gift and would like to better demonstrate it by increasing our contact. I will agree to see you at least once a month and share my protected medical information.I hope we can come to an amicable resolution. Thank you for your time and consideration."

Hello to my favorite sub-reddit! I have a favor to ask of you. My birthday is at the beginning of August, but not long after it's also the first death anniversary of my sweet cat Luna. I still miss her a lot even thou it's been almost a year.
I have a project to do a wall decoration around the picture of Luna with all the cat cards I received from this sub as a sort of commemoration for her. I hope to be able to finish by the time of my birthday. Will you help me in this endeavour by sending me card featuring any sort cat on it?
( If you send a tractor CAT I will laugh and it will go up on the wall with the others 😂)
Ps: I always post thank yous, just not always in a timely fashion 😅

I (f27) have a partner of 9 years (m31).
I'm having a really hard time right now. I suffer with depression myself, my grandfather just passed away (i wasnt close but family deaths still bring up a lot of emotions). My mom got hurt at work and has a concussion. She's not even my mom anymore right now. She's practically special needs right now and i have no idea if she will get better. She got hurt at work and her company is claiming shes fine and is pushing against workers comp. So she needs help with lawyers and stuff and that responsibility is falling on me.
My partner just recently watched a lot of his work friends get laid off. The company he works for is not doing well. His future at the company feels uncertain, even though he avoided the lay offs. And his jaw hurts right now. For these reasons he's been "numb" all week.
Im not trying to compete. But I'm just super frustrated because this last week I'm becoming aware of some blaring double standards in our relationship.
I missed his company christmas party, because i was 3 months post partum and hadnt had an hour to myself since giving birth and just desperately wanted a chance to stay home alone. I talked to him before hand and got the okay to stay home. Well when he got back it turned out he was super mad i didnt go and i got so much shit for it.
Fast forward to yesterday. My grandpas funeral. He avoided the question when i asked if he was going in the days before. Morning of he doesn't even attempt to get ready or even talk to me about not going.
So i guess im not allowed to skip his events but he can skip mine without even a conversation?
We had a fight earlier this week about me not doing enough. I was anxious about my moms situation so i had a few bad days in a row and the apartmet got messy. He blew up when I attempted to nap with our baby. Apparently i shouldnt be napping when there are chores to do.
But here I am having given him ENDLESS patience over the last 9 years.
Idk i just feel absolutely worthless right now. I just want to be able to have bad days and have someone pick up my slack for once. Instead of feeling like im in trouble for going through a hard time.
Does this happen with you guys? Do you feel like you're not allowed to slack or fail sometimes because your partner cant pick up the slack for even one day?

Hi All, I am M(27), I am currently in Banglore and my girl ( 24 ) is in Allahabad, We were in a long-distance relationship
We had been dating for last 9 months and it was going great as well but in January end my family members started looking for a girl for me in an AM setup and I used to refuse every girl as I wanted to marry her and she was also kinda ready but never told me directly. Initially, my girl only initiated the idea of getting married as my Family members had started looking for someone and they were quite active. She told me she wanted to marry me and asked me to talk to my parents first as my parents are a bit strict about these things .
During Holi time we had a fight and it got sorted as well, After Holi, she went to her Mausi's Home for a couple of weeks with her Mummy, And she shared about me with her mausi in the hope that once the time comes she will help her to convince her family specially her mummy and papa about me as we both are from different castes ( She is OBC & I am ST ) .
I also shared about her with My Family members (Bhaiya, Didi, Jija & Bhabhi ) except Papa & Mummy ( as their thinking is still a bit old about all these especially Papa ), as they will understand and help to convince Papa, Mummy for our weddings.
But Once she came from Mausis Home She started behaving differently and things started turning bad , she starts ignoring me my texts and call I had to convince her then she told me that Mausi is saying your papa won't agree for all these and all , Intially the girl only said to me that caste won't be an issue at her home , everyone one is chill and multiple people have gone through Love Marriage setup and also she said if you are such a good guy earning enough and from a Tier-1 Enginnering college , then it would be easy to convince her family not an issue , After listening to all these , then I only got into a relationship with her then only I became serious as I never wanted anything short term or anything.
But after coming from Mausis home, after every 2 days, she was getting changed her behavior and all and she starts ignoring me and every day saying breakup again and again.
I used to do a lot of things her, I am Literally in love with her, This is the first time I fell for someone before that I was focused on my career and family responsibilities so I always avoided dating anyone. Once our family got stable then only I started dating so basically last year only I started dating and she is my first Love, She had a relationship in past for 3 or 4 years.
She was trying to break up with me again and again and I was convincing her again and again
Last month she broke up with me and cut me off fully, The Last time I cried in front of anyone was when I was in class 3 or 4th after that I never cried in front of anyone, even my grandfather whom I loved so much when he died ( I was in class 10th ), I didn't cry, I stopped my tears coming down, now after all these years I cried for her I cried in front of her on phone multiple times to not leave me alone, I was shattered, I was crying all night alone in my room no one was there to tell me or stop me, I live here in Banglore alone in a flat with my flatmates, I was in my room for 3 days straight, didn't drink water for 2 days and hadn't food for straight 3 days, I was shaking and shivering and I was getting sudden panic attacks and sudden burst of emotions, I never cried this much in my life, I was getting suicidal. after 3 or 4 days I got up and went to her hometown to convince her.
Reaching Allahabad was also painful, I wasn't getting any direct flight to Allahabad so booked for Varanasi flight from there took a bus to Allahabad and stayed there for 2 days to convince her. It was such a harsh weather that I puked multiple times in Allahabad in such a hot and sunny weather, as a person who hadn't had food for 3 or 4 days it was hard for me.
I gave her a handwritten note and a flower bouquet we had dinner and she got convinced as well and that night I accompanied her to home and I was happy, but deep down I was afraid, as again coming to Allahabad when you are not mentally and stable and a bit ill as well and you hadn't had food, sleep and all and coming all alone In hope that I will convince her, I even didn't know how to find her as she had blocked me and whether she will reply me on insta or not ? But I was happy that she was okay after meeting me and she was happy and things will be okay, next day I gave her chocolates that I had bought specially for her during my trip to Bali and we talked and had lunch together and things were fine I had plan to go on Monday but since I was not feeling well so I left on Sunday only and left for my Hometown ( Varanasi ) instead of going to banglore .
But after few days she again started behaving the same and within few days it was again came back to normal and 3 days before I came back to banlgore , she totally ignored me like I never existed at all because of that I lost my senses like I couldn't believe and had an minor accident as well because while riding the bike I was so in grief that I couldnt' control my self on a highway I almost had a near to death experience , nothing happened to me just got a minor injury nothing . I stayed for 10 days at home that time , and in last 3 days she totally cut me off and I was shattered and since I am home I couldn't cry as well 24*7 everyone used to be with me only as I was home after a long time ..
I thought before going to banglore Ill go and meet her once again but I had one important project going on so I had to leave for banglore, I was holding my tears for so long that the day I again came back , the moment I sat in the cab for my flat I started crying in the cab I was crying for straight 1.5 hours while way back to my flat , this is also a kind of first time for me crying in front of a random guy . this time I couldn't control my self I cried like a baby in front the driver , I was trying hard to hold my tears and hiding my face, the cab guy understood and he was also behaving like he is not seeing me. once I reached home I cried and cried whole night , I called here msged her she didn't picked my call didn't reply .
So for 7 days I didn't call or text her I was trying my best to be first a stable person , one day one of my friend , she said , jab itna mehant kiye hi ho to ek bar last time try kar hi lo, So I tried again and called her msgd her and but rat ko bat huyi us din to but she was same like earlier stone cold and , she is saying she lost interest in me , ab wo vibes nahi aati we are different and all , also why should I settle for less If I can get better ( her mausi's world I guess ) , she saying mummy bol rahi this kuch Acche riste hai don't worry and all and blah blah , and she in past while breaking up time also said once I was trying and I thinks its not working anymore .
that day I got devasted more, as earlier I thought because of family pressure and caste issue she is backing but this time I got her different side , I still couldn't believe I thought these are her Mummy or Mausi's word not her because the girl whom I know cannot do all these to me she is open minded and a good person and she was the one who iniated the idea for marriage and opening up to our family.
that time meri didi ka ek bat mujhe yad aaya , Didi ne mujhse bola that, ki tum usse pyar karte ho aur Shaadi karna chahte ho , kya wo bhi tumse pyaar karti hai na ?
that night again I cried and again started getting headache and panic attacks and started shivering and again suicidal thoughts started coming.
Now last week one of my friends she told me about one new caffe in Banglore to try out , so we went and we did shopping together , while coming from there she was forcing me hard to go to her flat and was saying she is alone at her place her flatmate she is not there and she was trying hard to convince me for watching Netflix series together and she was breaking the touch barrier again and again I can sense what she was implying so I kept denying not in mood and all so that I can go to my place.
so I came back to my place, and became emotional and sad as I never ever even thought of touching a girl other than her , Since the day I meet her It became so different for me, I lost interest in every girl except her I stopped talking to all other girls from my circle so that she never feel insecure and also I lost interest as well, She is the only girl whom I can think of spending my life or anything . So next day I again tried to contact her , maine call ya msg nahi kiya hota but I coudln't control this time, I cannot think of another girl anymore except her.
I wanted to talk to her , msged her in morning on Whatsapp did some texting but we couldn't talk on phone as she was busy , then again I tried to call in afternoon but no luck then again in evening and again at night time , this time I also lost my patience and maine bhi bhala bura keh diya aur gusse me as a slang gali nikal gaya ( gali uske liye nahi that wo as a slang hi nikla tha ) within a seconds we cut the call she blocked me again and I texted her use bhala bura bola and all usne bola, aaj tumne gali dekar dikha diya and I am proud of my decision and all I also said you used me to get over your ex. and blah blah some random things like you were depressed I helped you overcome this and I also don't want jo har 2 din me palat jata ho apni bat se.
the line that she said na ki, I am proud of my decision , it hurt me , sari rat yahi line meri dimag me chalta raha, I am a overthinker guy, so ye thoda jyad hi hurt kar gaya. Agle din subah maine use snapchat me msg kiya ki mere sath kuch hua tha I felt bad I thought only you would understand isliye tumko ping kiya tha convince karne nahi aaya tha. and sorry for my kal ke behaviour ke liye. bye take care. its been a week and she hasn't read that msg and and I guess unfriend bhi kar diya hai ( waise snapachat usi ke wajah se hi install kiya tha warna I hate snap )
In Past I used to write shayari and poems for her and used to tel her the lines that I used to write for her. I also used practice her favourite songs and used to sing and record and send her. In past she used to to say to me you are a perfect package, anyone would be lucky to have you , she used to say tum gym bhi jate ho , daru waru, ciggrete wagairah kuch nahi karte ho ghumne phirne ka shauk hai family responsibilities handle karte ha , itna kamane ke bad bhi attitude nahi hai , tumse aadha kamane wale ladke bhi udane lagte hai , tum perfect ho and all she used to be very happy with me , rat bhar bat karna and other plannings and everything , I was happy being single but once she came to my life I became more focussed, I still cannot belive she got changed yahi sab sochta hu to lagta hai ki ek bar phir try karu.. I love her.
Now today while talking to my sister she again asked me about her, I told her ki Didi aisa kuch nahi hai bhool jao , Did bolne lagi ki Papa mummy ko humlog mana lenge bas tum ready ho to bata do. maine saf mana to kar diya
but after that I got emotional, I thought I will write a letter and post it and will try to convince again I wrote a long 5 page letter lying right now on my bed but I don't know what to do. Please help me what should I do ?

Hello everyone, I already shared much of this post with the NIPT community, but I wanted to share it here, with updates and a request for help. I am 43 years old, with a 25 week pregnancy and a positive amnio for Trisomy 18.
I was initially offered the Natera Nipt by my OB's office at 12 weeks (am 42) I had read several articles by this point indicating that there can be problems with with error rates (false positives) and brought this up with my OB. She told me that the Nipt was probably not necessary if all of my scans kept looking healthy and so I went home with no worries.
Much later realized- hey wait, if I haven't done Nipt shouldn't I at least have had an NT? Then put it out of my mind as everything was seemingly going along normally. At this point I think not having been offered the NT was down to the practice I was going to having 15 practicioners and the constantly interacting with a new face every time. I think both myself and my file got lost in the shuffle. In fact I know this because more than once a new doc would come in and start talking about my pregnancy and have weird things to say, like quote the wrong week of my pregnancy to me, or even once ask what help I needed to make me comfortable during my "miscarriage" when it was just supposed to be a normal appointment and I had to correct them and let them know I wasn't miscarrying at all.
Fast forward to my 20 week anatomy scan, and two large bilateral choroid plexus cysts are found, as well as a slightly enlarged kidney, and persistent clenched hands.
I am sent the next day to an MFM at the hospital, or rather I get a referral and call over and over till they fit me in the next day. The MFM downgrades the soft markers to just clenched fists and choroid plexus cysts, he gives me a 4% likely hood of Trisomy 18 as a score, and I'm incredibly relieved as I'm now thinking the clenched fists are a fluke, and if the baby has a 96% chance of being healthy than I can go on with my life.
But fear keeps nagging at me, and I schedule a 2nd opinion with a different Hospital's MFM team. The problem is they can't see me for three more weeks. I figure it's probably OK since the last doc gave me such a good score.
Well... I was wrong. I am now at the writing of this 25 weeks along and my anatomy scan showed the two choroid plexus cysts again, as well as a more severe finding on the hands, they are not just clenched but appear to have overlapping digits.
The MFM team at the new hospital offered for me to have amnio, and also counseled me that if we needed to we coud find a way to end this pregnancy...
I immediately began weeping, then came the dizziness and incredible stomach sickness like I was going to vomit.
My partner just advocated for me to go home and rest and get the amnio. I nodded and followed him out of the hospital. It was such a shit show. I was hyperventilating and sobbing through the halls and into the parking garage. Many folks stopped to stare.
We got home and I stress vomited several times and got in bed. I messaged my boss to tell him I needed time to sort this out. This was Friday the 31st of May. I went back for an amnio Tuesday the 6th of June. This past Friday we got our results in the patient portal, they are positive for full Trisomy 18.
We have agonized over all of this and decided that TFMR might be our best option as we do not wish for our son to suffer, however the lag time between all of these tests and getting clear answers has pushed us up over many of the limits for services in our area. We are in VT and while there is no law on the books regarding TFMR, providers who will help don't seem to exist.
We both work in food service and have very little in the way of savings, we are both risking our jobs to take time off to grieve and plan, neither one of us qualifies for family or medical leave.
I really just don't know what to do...
Any advice would be very much appreciated, we thought about maybe going to Canada for help, but many of the clinics I've researched stop helping at 24 weeks.
Any help and guidance would be welcome.

Hi!
I am currently feeding my recently adopted dog this: https://www.chewy.com/natural-balance-limited-ingredient/dp/537302
Basically Natural Balance dry dog food. It says vegetarian but checks out as vegan. When my dog first got here (she's a husky) she showed no interested in the food, but was being hesitant to eat anything that wasn't super appealing in every way. She was nervous, I think, but she has since started eating the food.
I just can't shake the feeling that she doesn't actually enjoy it though based on her behavior when she eats it. I also know that just dry dog food isn't all that great but i am on a limited income and can't throw in a bunch of fruits and such to further entice her.
Because she wouldn't eat for like half a week, we got some Pedigree packets of wet food and mixed it in with her evening meal since I didn't want her to constantly be hungry and therefore miserable, though I think there's less animal death involved with the meat coming from just the packets. I worry that if we take those packets away, she will also be unhappy, as she looks forward to them a great deal.
My previous dogs were malamutes, and would eat just about everything, but I have only decided to feed my dog vegan this time around. She's much more to the carnivore side of omnivore though.
In your opinions, what vegan dog food tastes the best, and is there a significant difference? What can I do that is affordable to mimic those super cheap wet food packets in the evening if at all possible?
Just to preempt anyone thinking it, if you are going to argue that it doesn't matter if she is super into the food as long as she eats it because regular food kills animals, I have made a commitment to this dog now, and her well being and happiness are first on my list. I know not everyone will see things like that, but that particular issue isn't up for debate. I want to feed her vegan, but I want her quality of life to be exceptional, as well.
Currently, I am stretched thin with her food price, but could shuffle things around $10 pr $20 or so and still manage. I very much want to feed her vegan if at all possible.
Thanks in advance for being understanding and not quoting statistics at me to guilt me into just letting her be unhappy with her food, because I already know those statistics. If you never intended to do that, apologies, but I've seen that done a lot.

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Two items — a crystal ball, and a green leather-bound notebook — sat benignly and idly atop of the black-robed professor’s desk.
The camera lingered on them, giving them what most may see as an undeserved moment in the spotlight.
But to those that knew, to the parties invested in this controversy, this little pause and dramatic zoom-in was accompanied by a hair-raising excitement… along with an untempered nervousness for what was to come.
It definitely caused the investigative duo on the other side of the screen some pause for thought; prompting them to stand intently, pondering both the orb and the notebook.
Ilunor, as far as I could tell, was entranced by the green notebook in particular. Though it wasn’t a trance born out of any positive emotion, but instead, one of abject horror.
“Recommended Reading Materials for the Studious Student.” Sorecar announced with a steady breath, prompting Ilunor to visibly flinch in his seat, as the man reached a finger over to point at the hand-scrawled title of the leather-bound notebook. That finger soon found itself carefully manipulating its pages, opening the cover first, before turning over the internal dust-cover to reveal letters and symbols written in High Nexian, but arranged in a manner the EVI simply could not translate.
“Error: Unable to Translate. Cause: Unrecognized and/or unintelligible organization of local script-forms.”
Yet despite this, it seemed as if both Sorecar and the Apprentice were able to draw something from its otherwise senseless pages. As despite being written haphazardly, with letters and pictograms arranged in no meaningful order, they were able to still draw meaning where the EVI couldn’t.
“Within these pages lie materials for the studious student. Materials are to be found within The Library, and are to be retrieved with great haste. May you make swift work of their contents, and may those after you find only ash in your wake. Seek, unlearn, and remove from the grip of the eternal entity, that which was once a gift but is now a curse. Seek, unlearn, and remove; with the fires of your passion, oh studious student.” Sorecar read aloud, managing to read something verbatim from the nonsensical pages of the book.
Ilunor’s eyes were practically glazed over at this point, as he began bringing his cape over across his chest, tucking his legs towards his chin in the process.
“This is it.” The apprentice announced with a half-cracked smile. “Please, keep going. I’m certain your skills of appraisal far exceed my own, Professor.”
Sorecar obliged by flipping the page, turning over to two pages of complete gibberish, once again watermarked by the EVI’s error message; but proving no challenge at all for the ever-inquisitive professor.
“Section One, A Tainted Reality: A Wretched Collection of Historical Affidavits During the Reconciliation and Reformation of Otherwise Lost Realities.” Sorecar paused, before turning towards the apprentice. “It lists an entire section’s worth of books, in titles held within spatial positions with reference to their potentialities within the ever-evolving library.”
Thacea’s features visibly flinched at that revelation, but similar to the apprentice in the footage, she refused to comment. At least not for now. Her eyes however betrayed a look of mild distress, which subsided somewhat as the apprentice urged the armorer to continue.
Which he did, as he flipped from page to page across the relatively small notebook, only pausing to read in between what he interpreted to be different sections and ‘chapters’.
“Section Two. The Unspoken War and the Treacherous Alliance.”
“Section Three. All surviving works from Alaroy Rital.”
The apprentice cocked her head, as if trying to recall some familiarity in that name. “Alaroy Rital.” She repeated. “I don’t recall hearing of such a name before.”
“Well his full name, as far as I recall, and vastly aided by the book is as follows: Alaroy Rital, Lord-Mayor of the Township of the Two Rivers, Slayer of the Dragon of the Grey Canyon, Repeller of the Tainted Blight of the Orsin, Liberator of the Aether, and Grand Master of the Elusian Guild Hall of Adventurers.” Sorecar responded succinctly, prompting the apprentice to once more clench her eyes shut in deep thought, before finally letting out a sigh of defeat.
“The name is both familiar yet foreign at the same time.” She finally admitted.
“As far as I recall, and mind you, my memory of those years are far from perfect… the man was a local hero of sorts. Though his record was besmirched by some controversy or another.” Sorecar offered, prompting the apprentice to finally shrug, giving up on this particular subject matter entirely.
“There are more sections, yes?”
“Correct.”
“Then let’s move on.”
Sorecar nodded promptly at that, flipping the pages over until he hit the next section.
“Section Four. A Sordid Account of the Most Bizarre of Newrealmer Arrivals: A Death By Harmonization and the Ensuing Investigation.”
That immediately got my attention, causing me to jolt forwards, prompting the armor to quickly follow as it automatically switched from the currently active in-armor-postural-readjustment mode, and back into its active configuration.
“Section Five. The Unfortunate Procedures Against Unruly Realms and the Instances in Which Such Procedures Were Incurred.”
The armorer paused after that, not necessarily due to its contents, but as if puzzled by what lay ahead in the next few final pages. In fact, he flipped back and forth between the pages soon after that, treading and retreading what were effectively the last five pages of the book. “There is an appendix which includes titles not covered by these sections, however it will take some time to read through them.”
“That’s enough for now, professor.” The apprentice offered, prompting the man to quickly pull back, closing the notebook with an unsatisfying thump. “We have our glowing wand.” The apprentice surmised. “The oeuvre of works which are no doubt the subject of this grand controversy. Now all we need to find is the contract which ties everything together.”
“I’m assuming you haven’t forgotten about our second item of interest?” Sorecar gestured towards the crystal ball.
“Of course not, professor. However, the fact we’ve found that book implies that we must be close to its dependent article.” The apprentice responded with a renewed sense of urgency, as she began using that same ornate magnifying glass in an attempt to further pick apart each and every nook and cranny of Mal’tory’s desk.
Part of me wanted to make some joke about how this was every unpaid intern’s dream, to be rummaging through your boss’ stuff.
But that part of me was completely buried underneath the confusion and dread that came with the revelations from within that little green book.
I… honestly didn’t know what I was expecting, but I felt like I’d been suckerpunched, with the wind being knocked right out of me from the implications of exactly what had been selectively purged from the library.
It was a struggle to process it all, which more or less made me dull out the more eccentric aspects of the apprentice’s investigation; as she unlocked drawer after drawer, pulling out pile after pile of magical nicknacks and more documents than what was possible from that finite amount of space.
Sorecar was clearly of the same opinion as the rest of us right now however, as he continued obsessing over the book, his hands once more trailing over to inspect its cryptic pages. The man seemed transfixed on the second and third sections in particular, though his featureless visor made it difficult to really pin down what his reactions were.
Yet throughout all of this, it was clear the reactions on the homefront were much, much more animated, as Ilunor was just about ready to pass out from the stress, and Thacea seemed about ready to burst at the seams if her featureless facade was of any indication.
“That was the book.” Ilunor finally chimed out, just as the narration through the recording had died down during the more tepid phase of the apprentice’s investigation. “I know it.”
“I thought your memories when it came to the whole Mal’tory book burning situation was lost, Ilunor?” Thalmin countered.
“It was. I mean, it still is. But I remember parts of that room. I vaguely recall the emergence of a book that I was forced to…” The Vunerian trailed off, as if struggling to piece together words.
“... to sign?” Thalmin offered in a surprisingly helpful tone which stood at odds with how he earlier regarded the Vunerian.
“No. No you imbecil-” The Vunerian paused, realizing his misstep as he backtracked from what would’ve otherwise been an expected response. “That wasn’t a book of binding. It’s not comparable to the yearbook, if that was where your assumptions were leading to, Prince Thalmin.” Ilunor clarified, gripping the armrests of his seat tight between his fingers.
It was about this point in time that I expected Thacea to chime in, to elaborate on the nature of the book with her encyclopedic knowledge on seemingly every aspect of the magical world.
But she didn’t.
Instead, her eyes remained practically glued to the screen, as I realized that whatever had been revealed thus far had hit much, much harder than I could’ve imagined.
Ilunor, as if taking note of this silence, elected to fill in for Thacea. “The book… is an adjacent artifact. It is, as the apprentice has noted, an eclectic oeuvre of works, a list if you will, to be bound to and referenced by a contract and a spell of binding. The book itself isn’t the binding agent, moreso the reference material by which the contract is hinged upon.”
“So what’s with the illegible text? Are they ciphers or some magical equivalent of it?” I gestured once more at the bird’s eye view offered by the drone, and the pages of indecipherable text currently beneath Sorecar’s hands.
“Those are anchor runes, earthrelamer.” Ilunor answered with a frustrated sigh. “It is frustrating to see them for what they are not. Frankly, it’s as if your sight-seers and memory-shards were designed to mimic the world as it is seen through the eyes of a particularly weak-fielded commoner.” The Vunerian went off, venting his frustrations through a rant before finally calming down. “But I digress. Those runes are referred to as anchors for a reason. For tethered to them are akin to pages of text to be openly read and deciphered within the manastreams. Granted, this form of writing is not common; moreso used for the purposes of contracts and other such magical binds.”
“And on the topic of contracts. I’m assuming that the contract… your contract, is what the Apprentice is currently rummaging for?” I gestured towards the screen once more, at the apprentice who was now buried ankle-deep in piles upon piles of books, documents, and an assortment of scrolls that criss-crossed across the room’s mahogany and carpeted floors.
“Unless she’s a complete nitwit, then I’d imagine so, yes.” Ilunor responded with his signature cattiness. “In any case, the fact she’s even trying proves that she’s barely above a fool anyways.” The Vunerian shrugged. “And before you ask, earthrealmer, let me preempt your question. The contract, at least on the professor’s end, has more than likely suffered the same fate as my own. Namely, its existence is more than certain to be dubious at best. What the apprentice will surely find will be nothing more than ash at the bottom of that bottomless drawer. Which… given its sheer size and scale, and the potential inhabitants within its limitless confines, will more than likely result in even ash being difficult if not impossible to find.”
There was… more than one point I wanted to raise with Ilunor’s statements. However, before I could address any of them, the elf in question finally spoke up once more; now surrounded by an entire archive’s worth of documents and nicknacks.
“Nothing.” Larial spoke with a sullen breath, taking a moment to steady herself as she made a point of not sitting on Mal’tory’s chair. “At least nothing that’s relevant to our case.” She continued, resting her palms flat against the green suede of the desk.
“Were you really expecting anything different, Apprentice?” Sorecar countered, having since moved from pondering the pages of the book to now pondering the depths of the crystal ball.
“I’d assumed the damage to the man hadn’t been so severe.” Larial admitted, alluding to something else that drew all of our collective attention. “When I first saw him in the healing ward… he looked… intact. You couldn’t even tell there was anything wrong with him.”
“And yet they called you of all people, to aid in the ritual.” The armorer surmised, with a tone of voice that now more resembled that of a fully fledged Academy Professor. His happy go lucky persona had subsided completely, at least for now, as he addressed Larial in a manner more akin to what I’d expected of the Dean. “You have been around the Academy for long enough to understand that calling upon the aid of apprentices is unprecedented. Which means that despite how things may seem on the surface, that lurking beneath the seemingly calm waters, is a hydrostorm of epic proportions.”
“This entire situation is unprecedented, professor.” Larial countered meekly. “But you are correct. It… must have been desperate if they required the aid of apprentices. I just… cannot fathom the fact that the professors must have…” The apprentice trailed off, her face scrunching up and breaking eye contact with the armorer as if too skittish to broach the next point.
Sorecar didn’t reply, nor did he complete her sentence for her, simply allowing her to recuperate and reorganize her thoughts herself.
“... brought the man back from the brink.” She managed out, offering what was in effect a euphemism that didn’t seem to sit right with the armorer, if his immediate head cock was of any indication.
“That is the only way you can explain the complete loss of a contract.” Sorecar reasoned. “You were hoping to find it, despite knowing well that it, amongst the rest of his contracts, have more than likely gone up in flames.” It was around that point that he walked around behind the desk, and reached down into the drawer the apprentice had been searching in. His arm sank impossibly deep, deeper than what should have been physically possible inside of that small and limited space. After a few moments, the man finally brought his hand back up, holding within it what appeared to be fine specks of ash that he allowed to filter back down into the dark depths of the seemingly bottomless drawer. “And there you have it — ash. Most of it has no doubt already been consumed by the bottom-feeders. However, what remains is enough to account for what is perhaps more contracts than most would form in their lives.”
The man stood back up soon after, before once more taking his place at the front of the desk.
“Well, I believe that answers our prior speculations on Auris Ping’s potential relations, contractual or otherwise, with Professor Mal’tory.” Thalmin growled out, punctuating the moment of silence within the footage; which soon continued with a resonant sigh from the apprentice.
“I guess, in a way, I was trying to find the contract not so much because of my assigned task, but because I wanted to perhaps prove to myself that the situation wasn’t as dire as my intuition leads me to believe. The loss of all these contracts can only mean one thing.” Larial paused, once more trying to find the strength inside of her to face whatever facts were self-evident in this case. “The man was lost.” She finally managed out through a shaky breath. “His soul must have departed from his mortal coil. And yet…”
“... and yet he remains.” Sorecar surmised.
“They must have re-tethered it before I arrived that night.” The apprentice shot back. “But I felt nothing different when they asked me to aid in the mana-channeling processes. This whole situation is just…” She sighed, prompting Sorecar to cock his head.
“Unprecedented?”
“Yes.” The apprentice once more admitted, sinking her face into her hands and taking a moment to process it all, more or less falling into the same camp all of us were currently in. “Moreover, it brings up a very disturbing question.”
“Which is?”
“If his soul was truly untethered, even for a split second… how exactly were they able to retether it? Or more specifically, through what means are they using to permanently retether his soul to his mortal coil?”
This question seemed to cause some level of concern from Sorecar, as his answer soon demonstrated. “There are… ways of doing so that aren’t exclusive to being spellbound to armor.” The man offered under a dour breath. “Especially if the body is… fresh, in a manner of speaking. Though it requires the use of-” He stopped, halting himself from going down what was clearly a darkening path. “I apologize for prompting this rather… dark and dreary subject matter, Apprentice.” Sorecar offered, as that empathetic, kinder side of him returned without much prompting.
“It’s quite alright. It… it needed to be said, if we are to complete this investigation with any degree of professionalism.” The apprentice concluded with a small smile. “Whatever the case may be, it is clear that we are unable to procure the contract through which the perpetrator of the library’s burning was bound. We have, however, undeniable proof of Professor Mal’tory’s involvement with the scandal.” She pointed at the green notebook. “And of course, a potential interloper who may or may not have been a part of this conspiracy; thereby expanding this from a mere Academy matter, to one which could implicate others beyond its walls.” She pointed at the crystal ball. “Have you discovered anything from your observations thus far, Professor?” The apprentice inquired, prompting the man to nod, as he knelt down to eye-level, pondering the orb from desk-height.
“The inherent limitations of the Echovale make it so that it’s near impossible to transcribe anything following the cessation of a communique.” Sorecar began. “Though of course, you knew this, and hoped that because I am perhaps one of the greatest armorers to have ever lived, that I would be able to aid in this impossible endeavor, hmm?” The armorer’s tone of voice had more or less resumed that flighty, happy-go-lucky one I knew him for.
The apprentice, hearing this, could only smile awkwardly in response. “I wouldn’t have put it that… bluntly, professor. But I do indeed have faith in your ability to make the impossible, well… probable, at the least.”
“Hmph! Well, I couldn’t pin a face or a name, but I was able to pin a definite location if that helps.” The man offered.
“Any stray piece of information will help tremendously, professor.”
“The Crownlands.” He answered without a hint of hesitation, prompting the Apprentice to raise both of her brows up high.
“That’s as far as I am able to draw from the residual echoes within the vale.” He tapped at the ball, generating a series of satisfying clinks in the process.
“So the man wasn’t acting alone. Or rather, perhaps he was consulting someone.” The apprentice pondered. “Then again, that final communique could very well be with Lord Lartia—” The apprentice paused, before placing both palms softly across her throat. “—may his soul rest in peaceful slumber.” Following another moment of silence, the apprentice’s hands soon shifted towards the ball. “In any case, if it isn’t Lord Lartia, then who could it possibly be? Maybe we should…” The apprentice suddenly stopped; as if realizing the dangers of diving any deeper into this growing conspiracy. “No.” She quickly corrected herself. “Whatever the case may be, this is probably now completely out of my purview. I was assigned to collect any evidence I deemed to be relevant to recent happenings, and I believe this should suffice.”
“Whatever you believe is best, apprentice.” Sorecar acquiesced, prompting the apprentice to slowly, but surely, pack the archive’s worth of documents, books, and scrolls all back into the drawer using nothing but telekinetic spells.
This left just the crystal ball, and the little green book, both of which the apprentice promptly pocketed into a small pouch, before placing it somewhere beneath her cloak.
“Though on that note…” Sorecar began, pointing towards the apprentice’s cloak. “If I may ask, how do you plan on divvying up these finite pieces of evidence?”
This caught the apprentice off-guard, as her mouth opened, but no response came through.
“Moreover, are you even obligated to hand in this evidence? Or are you only expected to write a report to all parties involved?” Sorecar continued, pressing the matter further, causing the apprentice to stop mid-stride. “Because if primary evidence isn’t explicitly required, might I offer my services as a master forger?” The man spoke with a hint of mischievousness, the duality of the word perhaps translating equally well despite the language barrier.
“I may need to contact my superiors to ask if a… copy will be satisfactory to their needs. I believe not, but… we shall see. In any case, I am due to submit the evidence along with my report no later than the end of next week. As such, this should give me ample time to organize my findings, which is especially convenient given the roster of duties I am expected to cover over the next few days.” The apprentice took a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose, halting her rambles as she steadied herself with a sigh. “But I digress, I believe I will take you up on that offer, Professor Pliska.”
“It would be my pleasure to welcome you into my domain, apprentice.”
The rest of the footage consisted of small talk between the pair, with nothing in particular standing out as the topics being addressed soon turned from high-stakes espionage, and back into faculty banter.
Yet despite that, none of us broke the silence that now dominated the boring trip back. Not even as the footage came to a complete stop, and there was nothing more left to play.
I leaned back against the armor, eliciting a series of creaks from the couch below me, echoing across the high-ceilinged room and disrupting the tentative peace that came with this ominous silence.
“This explains… a lot.” Thalmin offered, finally breaking the silence with a tentative tone of voice. “It explains your contract, and its abrupt cessation.” He continued, turning towards Ilunor. “It explains Mal’tory, or at least, his current lack of public appearances. And it reveals to us exactly what he was trying to hide from you, Emma.” The lupinor eventually turned towards me. “And I think the sections of the library, selectively pruned, are self-explanatory as well.”
“Section four, and section five, at least.” I replied shortly thereafter. “I have no idea who or what Alaroy Rital has to hide in section three, and don’t even get me started on section two, let alone section one.” It was at that point that I turned towards Thacea, who let out a sharp exhale upon me bringing up section one.
“The removal of all information relevant to… and I quote — Tainted Realities — speaks volumes to the inherent fears of the Nexus. Though I know not what specifically they may fear from your discovery of its deep and now-lost lore.” Thacea offered through a pensive gaze. “There are many rumors, legends that come with the phrase Tainted Reality. Though most are mythical; epics of long lost eras that dwell between the blurry line that exists between history and legend. Perhaps the records within the library were pieces of irrefutable evidence that would’ve shed light on this nebulous subject matter. But even so… that begs the question… why? Why would they hide what is effectively a non-issue when it comes to your discovery of its lore? Taint, and more specifically, the concept of a Tainted Reality, is something that is inconsequential in the contemporary world. Its history, even if it proves to be true, is neither a disruptive political element, nor a practical tool for war, that could be used in countering the Nexus.” The avinor’s explanations were clear, concise, and yet they belied something personal that she clearly wasn’t broaching.
And I wasn’t about to dig either, not when this topic very clearly hit close to home for her.
“This leaves the second subject matter then.” I offered, giving the avinor an off-ramp towards a potentially more palatable topic.
“The Unspoken War and the Treacherous Alliance?”
“Correct.” I nodded.
“That… I have no knowledge of.” The avinor admitted, prompting me to turn to both the lupinor and the Vunerian for answers.
“Don’t look at me, earthrealmer, I’m the one who lost all memories on the subject, remember?” Ilunor countered.
“I’m afraid I’m as in the dark as you are on this one, Emma.” Thalmin replied with a loud huff, leaving me with perhaps more questions than answers at this point.
“Right then.” I nodded. “Well, regardless, as disquieting, confusing, and disturbing as these revelations have been, they are exactly that — revelations.” I took a moment to stand up, resting both hands on my hips, as if adopting Ilunor’s more theatrical approach to things. “We started today off with no intel on Mal’tory, with no idea how we were going to complete The Library’s Seekership questline, and no knowledge on exactly where we stood in this game. We’re ending today off with a firm grasp on exactly what we need to do, what exactly was scorched in the library, and a tentative understanding on Mal’tory’s fate. I’d say that’s an incredible step forward, even if the answers we now have are leading to even more questions.”
“Reality is often filled with disturbing truths, but only when we acknowledge them, can we act to change them.” Thacea offered.
“Here here!” Thalmin reaffirmed through a firm stomp, standing up tall and ready.
“While certain revelations come as disappointments… namely the survival of Professor Mal’tory… it is indeed somewhat satisfying to hear that the man is at the very least suffering for his actions.” The little thing spoke maliciously, as he too stood up. This prompted a look of worry to form amidst all three of us, but instead of reacting accordingly, he instead displayed an expression of confusion. “What? The man was a monster! He actively antagonized not only me, but this entire group! Surely you also feel at least some sense of satisfaction at the consequences of his actions catching up to him!”
“The delight in an enemy’s defeat, best comes from the resistance of the blade against his body. Not from the suffering incurred from happenstance.” Thalmin countered, whilst Thacea and I refused to entertain that line of thought, as I quickly placed a palm across my forehead, bonking it once again in the process.
“Right, well, here’s the game plan. We now have a clear target to complete our first objective — the notebook. We grab that, hand it in to the library, and presto, we accomplish the Seekership questline. Now comes the difficult part… how exactly do we do that?” I turned to the group, as offers and suggestions finally came flying in.
“Take advantage of your life debt?” Ilunor offered.
“I wouldn’t take advantage of that card just yet, Ilunor. Not if we have other options.” Thacea countered.
“What if we steal it?” Thalmin proposed.
“Thievery isn’t a diplomatic approach, Thalmin.” Thacea shot back with a glare.
“Well, Emma here was able to grapple her way, through manaless means, across the outside of the castle towards the apprentice whilst she was in the medical wing. I’m sure we can pull something else off in a similar capacity!” The lupinor countered.
“No, Thalmin. As much as I would like to try, I believe it might be best if we try a more diplomatic approach.” I offered, prompting the three to cock their heads.
“We could just ask, right?”
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(Author’s Note: And there we have it! The first step towards the completion of the Library's questline! We've found exactly what we were looking for, the list of books that were ordered to be put to the dragon flame by Mal'tory. With that being said however, a new series of questions arises... exactly why were these books targeted in particular? Moreover, what exactly was lost as a result? These questions and more will continue to linger in the back the gangs' minds as we push forward! Especially as we now find ourselves in the midst of another conundrum, exactly how are we going to get the book to the library! Regardless, this is still a massive step forward, and one that will surely bring Emma and Ilunor closer towards addressing the first phase of their intertwined fates with the library! I hope you guys enjoy! :D The next Two Chapters are already up on Patreon if you guys are interested in getting early access to future chapters!)
[If you guys want to help support me and these stories, here's my ko-fi ! And my Patreon for early chapter releases (Chapter 84 and Chapter 85 of this story is already out on there!)]

Here goes my rant.
My family just purchased a plot of land for building a house and it’s a pretty big area, lots of space to build. So we were discussing plans of layouts and everything.
I was already dreaming about having a Claire ( clueless) type of wardrobe, a painting area and a library and so on for my room… and amidst the discussion my brother randomly interjects, says and I quote “My opinion takes priority because she’s not going to live in this house for long anyway” as in I have to get married. He’s 17. I mean I know at one point I have to move out and get married but 1. I’m not too keen on getting married ( parents marriage has scarred me for life) 2. My bf and I don’t plan on getting married till our early 30’s.
But it’s just how girls are treated. The words struck a chord in me, that my brother has already started treating me like an outsider. That he will carry on our father’s legacy. That I will always be A GIRL.
And on top of that my parents do support his misogynistic way of thinking.
It just sucks.
I just, I just need ways how you guys come to terms with this feeling that the family that you lived with for 22 years, suddenly thinks that you are a secondary member in their house.
I’m just crying like a baby since it happened.
Thank you for reading so far. I know it sounds as if I have first world problems but… idk… do tell me if my fellow girls think that it is wrong for me to feel this way. I’m super confused as is.

I'm nearing the end of Year 2 and loving this game. Wanted to share my family story so far!
My shipwreck survivor was Faith Goodwin. She enjoyed farming and loved getting to know the townspeople. Eventually she needed help on the farm and decided to marry Wilbur Kit.
Wilbur was a Stargazing romantic and perfect for her, she especially loved his hair color. By the time Winter arrived, Wilbur was the town doctor. They had two children, Thomas and Penny. Thomas was curious, superstitious, and enjoyed writing. Penny was superstitious, weak, and a liar. Faith and Wilbur quickly learned that farm work was not ideal for Penny, so she instead apprenticed with her father as a Doctor. Thomas, being an adult and with Winter here, also searched for a job. He ended up becoming town Mayor!
Wilbur and Faith running the farm in Spring quickly became overwhelming, so they agreed to tell adult Penny that she needed to move out and become a Doctor full time. Once arranged, Faith 'made plans' to adopt a town orphan, Edward Bayley's son Erik. Edward loved his cake! Erik was a lazy homebody, but farm work meant he got to stay home. With Erik's help the farm flourished through the Summer.
One night the Blood Moon arrived. Faith was excited, for it had happened before but she didn't understand there were activities involved! Faith headed to the docks through the forest, meeting ghosts along the way. The captain had her return to the forest. It was nearing midnight and Faith succumbed to drowsiness, walking slowly. She didn't have any Sleep potions on her, so all she could do was take a Fleet Feet potion and hope for the best. She reached the forest at the stroke of midnight... and died. How fitting to become a ghost in the forest on the night of the Blood Moon.
Thomas then realized his familial duty. Grieving, he took over the farm and let his elderly father Wilbur retire, allowing his sister Penny to become head town Doctor as his last action as Mayor. A ghost his mother had visited last night became the town Mayor, to the chagrin of Thomas. But the farm was more important, and letting his father retire meant only Erik would be helping on the farm. It was time to find a wife.
There were two women in town that caught Thomas' eye, but once he got to know them better he clearly had a preference. Valerie was beautiful AND a romantic genius. He set about wooing her with specialty soaps and getting to know her family better. Making friends with Val's brother Kirk, the town butcher, was beneficial to the farm as Kirk would occasionally gift meats.
Thomas and Valerie were married, and her hobby was farming! Val was happy to help on the farm. As a wedding gift, Thomas bought Valerie a colorful dress from one of the ships that visited town after their marriage. His mother Faith's family generational colors were green, and Thomas decided his generation would dress in red. He ensured his wife and he were a power couple, always looking their best and working hard on the farm.
It was time to have a child with Val, but the household was unfortunately full with the couple, his elderly retired father, and farm helper orphan Erik Bayley. Thomas had a plan.... unfortunately his father was to die anytime soon.. so it was time for a Death Cake. That's a pleasant death, right? Preferred to catching an illness at such an age, surely. Thomas spoke to his father and gifted him Cake, which Wilbur was very happy to receive. Thomas spent his last night with his father watching the stars cross the sky.
Val and Thomas had a baby boy, Leon. Upon aging up, the house was full again. It was time to ask adult Erik Bayley to make his way in the world. Erik moved out to work with his adoptive sister Penny in the apothecary. Their son Leon was an avid farm worker. He enjoyed being social, was superstitious and enjoyed writing just like his father.
Winter has arrived and baby girl Pearl Goodwin was born. Thomas is very proud of his family. During the Winter his family found outside jobs, with Leon becoming a Milliner and his wife Val enjoying her days as a Fisher. Valerie was closely watching for Pearl to age up, for she had plans for Thomas. Val found a Death Cake Thomas had stashed in the cellar and was waiting for the right moment to change her family forever...

I really enjoyed this game, more than any farming game in the last 20 years. The variety adds a spice to it that keeps me interested. I rarely continue to Year 3 in farming games because by that time I know all the villagers, they say the same things, and nothing changes you just keep accumulating crops. With this game, everything constantly changes AND there's a lot more to work for than keeping animals happy forever and selling crops. I'm having Valerie take over the family once Pearl ages up as I prefer to play as a female character - once Val passes I will have Pearl take over and once again have the farm run by a Goodwin.

I hope you enjoyed the story! I'd love to hear your stories, quirks, interesting things that happened in your game!
Faith Goodwin's first pregnancy, with wilted plants and the starter home
Faith's immediate family
Faith and Wilbur have aged, and Faith began dabbling in Witchcraft
The marriage of Thomas and Valerie, with brother Kirk and sister Penny in attendance
Wilbur was very happy to receive a Cake
The current Goodwin family, soon to change yet again!

This discussion will examine the possible personality disorders and mental health issues that may be present in the public persona of Ariana Grande. I will explore the symptoms, causes, and effects of these conditions, as well as any evidence that may indicate their presence in Grande's life and behavior.
(But the way , just because I assume that she has them, it does not excuse her actions towards other people)
The discussion will focus on five potential diagnoses:
•Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD),
•Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD),
•Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD),
•Substance abuse disorder (SAD)
•Orthorexia nervosa.
-------------------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------------------
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and chronic patterns of grandiosity, manipulation, and self-centered behavior. In many ways, this diagnosis has often been discussed in connection with Grande's persona.
Grande has often been criticized for her perceived vanity, attention-seeking behavior, and lack of empathy for others. Some argue that her numerous cosmetic procedures, constant self-promotion, and public feuds with other celebrities are symptoms of NPD. (Including the way how she treats people who don't lick her ass at all and are being honest with her)
One example of Grande stealing someone's man would be her involvement with the Broadway actor Ethan Slater, who is currently married and has a baby son. Grande became involved with Slater after they met on the set of the Wicked movie back in the December of 2022 when lilly around the time gave birth to her baby son. Slater reportedly left his wife eventually in June (with the confirmation of dalton's sister that she left dalton the day when she went out with Ethan and her male friend) and child to pursue a relationship with Grande, raising controversy and shock amongst their fans.
This situation became a major topic of public discussion, with many criticizing Grande for her role in sabotaging Slater's marriage and family. Some also accused her of being manipulative and insincere in the way she handled the situation.
[Apparently 2 of her friends (Cynthia and Victoria) are known homewreckers and due to that, she never hold herself accountable for it.]
To further elaborate on this example, Grande's involvement with Slater has been criticized for several reasons. Firstly, she actively pursued a relationship with a married man, which can be seen as a clear violation of moral and ethical boundaries. She never denied the rumours , nor did she confirm them, which it speculated that she doesn't care about the public's opinions, at all.
Overall, this incident has been seen as a prime example of Grande's alleged NPD, as it demonstrates her willingness to prioritize her own desires over the well-being of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
Next on the list is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense, unstable emotions and relationships. They may have difficulty controlling their impulses, experience a fear of abandonment, and engage in harmful behaviors such as substance abuse and self-harm.
Grande has been linked to BPD due to her emotional instability, impulsivity, and self-destructive behaviors. For example, she has a history of entering and ending relationships rapidly, has been seen engaging in risky behaviors such as substance abuse, and has publicly spoken about struggles with depression and anxiety.
Some fans and critics have pointed out that Grande's numerous tattoos, many of which are tributes to her ex-boyfriends or former relationships, may be a reflection of her impulsivity and unstable emotions. They argue that these tattoos represent a temporary obsession or infatuation, rather than a genuine expression of affection.
Grande's rapid shifts in relationships have led to speculation that she may struggle with BPD. She has dated high-profile celebrities such as Big Sean, Mac Miller, and Pete Davidson, and has often been criticized for moving on quickly from one relationship to another. Some speculate that these rapid changes may be a result of her difficulty with emotional regulation and a fear of abandonment.
In addition to her relationship history, some of Grande's lyrics also seem to hint at potential BPD symptoms. For example, her song "thank u, next" contains lyrics about her past relationships and the lessons she has learned from them. The song's title and repeated mantra of "thank u, next" seem to reflect her difficulty with emotional regulation and impulsivity.
Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD):
Next on our list is Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), a mental health condition characterized by excessive emotionality, attention-seeking behavior, and a need for approval from others. Individuals with HPD often use exaggerated emotional expressions and seductive behavior to gain attention and validation.
Grande has been linked to HPD due to her tendency towards dramatic emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. Her public image, marked by extravagant outfits and bold fashion choices, has often been interpreted as a means of gaining attention and validation for herself. Grande is also known for her use of social media to connect with fans and create a public persona that is highly sexualized and seductive.
Her involvement in high-profile relationships and public feuds with other celebrities, as well as her tendency to be the center of attention, can also be seen as symptoms of HPD. Some critics have also pointed out that Grande's multiple cosmetic procedures may be an attempt to maintain her youthful appearance and appeal.
Grande's public persona has often been characterized as narcissistic and attention-seeking, and she has often been accused of being manipulative and self-centered. Some critics have suggested that her behavior may stem from a need for adoration and validation, which are hallmark traits of HPD.
Substance abuse disorder (SAD) :
We move on now to Substance Abuse Disorder (SAD), a condition characterized by the repeated use of substances despite negative consequences. Individuals with SAD may experience a variety of physical and psychological symptoms, including cravings, tolerance, and withdrawal. Substance abuse can include alcohol, drugs, prescription medications, and other mind-altering substances.
Grande has been open about her struggles with substance abuse in the past, particularly with alcohol and drugs. She has spoken about using these substances as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, and emotional difficulties. Grande's former boyfriend, Mac Miller, died of an accidental overdose in 2018, which had a visible effect on her mental health. Grande has publicly expressed her grief and guilt over Miller's death and has hinted at struggles with addiction and recovery.
[Multiple blind items had been written about , that ariana has a long history of doing drugs , hiding it from the public]
Orthorexia nervosa:
Finally on our list is Orthorexia nervosa, an eating disorder characterized by an obsession with healthy eating and a fear of impure or unhealthy food. Individuals with orthorexia nervosa may have a restrictive diet and a preoccupation with eating only certain types of food, often restricting entire food groups. They may believe that their diet is a key component of their identity and may feel a sense of moral superiority over those who do not follow their eating habits.
Grande has long been scrutinized for her thin frame and weight, with many criticizing her for promoting unhealthy body standards through her weight loss. For example, Grande has repeatedly stated that she maintains a vegan diet for ethical reasons and has been criticized for promoting healthy eating on her social media accounts to her young fans.
Grande's recent music videos "yes, and?", "Boy is mine" and multiple instagram photos and TV appearances has fueled speculation about her eating habits and health. Some critics have pointed out that Grande appears excessively thin in the video and that her appearance may be the result of a restrictive diet and/or excessive exercise. Grande has been criticized for body-checking, a behavior common among individuals with orthorexia, in the music video.
Grande's eating habits and weight have also been discussed in connection with her fashion choices and public persona. Grande is often seen wearing revealing and form-fitting clothes, and some critics have suggested that her fashion choices may be influenced by her preoccupation with body image and control over her diet. Grande has been criticized for promoting unrealistic body standards and potentially triggering disordered eating behaviors in her young fans.
~This was my opinion about ariana.~

Game Name: District of Dreams
System: Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition
Any homebrews?: I'm not planning for anything
Proposed Time Slot: Friday nights, 8PM to 12 AM EST, first season in January 2025
Expected Season Length: 10 episodes, with multiple seasons planned.
Cast Size: PCs: 4 minimum, 5 Maximum. SPCs… maybe, as needed.
Format: Podcast, art will be commissioned.
Game Description:

January 2024, somewhere on Theodore Roosevelt Island, Washington D.C.

The low level hum of busy conversation mingles with the clinking of glasses and the rustle of papers and parchments as the Parliament of Dreams sits in recess between the latest rounds of debates. A pocket of representatives from Houses Ailil and Danaan argue amongst themselves over the most recent request from the Duchy of Steel for donations of glamour to bolster their dwindling balefires. Across the room, a commoner representative from the House of Concordia pleads her case before a group of skeptical sidhe nobility on whether or not non-noble representatives should be allowed to detain those nobles suspected of breaking the Escheat until they could be investigated, questioned (and presumably punished) by their peers.
Boggan servers move among the clusters of chatting representatives and lobbyists, and a band of clurichan and eshu musicians sit in a corner weaving a quiet tune, using the parliament’s ancient cantrips to help keep conversations from carrying too far or becoming overwhelmed by neighboring talk. An eruption of surprised cries cuts through the din for just a moment, as a chubby raccoon leaps from the shoulder of an autumn sidhe, its arms filled to bursting with finger sandwiches and a large pastry in its mouth. People step back in mingled confusion and alarm as it tears a path through the crowds, chased by a boggan wielding a suspiciously empty but still crumb-smudged serving platter over his head like a weapon of war.
Just another day in the Parliament of Dreams, Ellen Rynson thinks as she lets out a bored sigh and looks out the window at the trees surrounding the building and, beyond them, the waters of the Potomac River. In the distance she can just see the white gleam of the Lincoln Memorial thanks to the clear, cold January sky outside the windows. She’s just considering packing up her things and heading out for the day, reasoning that nothing interesting is likely to happen today, despite what her lead from that House Beaumayn said. For all their cryptic insistence that the auguries pointed toward something big happening that day she would want to be present for, so far there had been only more of the same.
Pleading commoners, bickering nobility, and precious little progress in any one direction. Honestly, the raccoon pookah stealing people’s lunch had been the most interesting thing to happen in three days. She had a mortal job to get back to, articles waiting on her to write them. Injustices needing exposure, lost causes needing bolstering and support from empathetic readers. Those were situations she could influence, people she could make a difference for. But here? This place? It wouldn’t ever change, so far as she could see. The High King was infuriatingly detached, insisting all was well when baelfires across Concordia were sputtering and threatening to die out as the autumn world fell into further division and discord, and prodigals like vampires and technology-loving mages became further entrenched, warping the autumn world and smothering its dreamers with ruthless, uncaring precision.
She turns, reaching for the strap of her messenger bag just as the room plunges into a tense, eerie silence. Vacant stares on the faces of the musicians, several figures in the crowed begin to speak in unison, their voices raised like a choral cry, discordant harmonies overriding the cantrips woven into the building’s stones and lifting, filling the air around and above the confused, worried looking members of parliament and those joining them.
A boggin server, her skin a wrinkled nut brown’s head is thrown back, and her voice lifts in harmony to a sidhe knight Ellen couldn’t remember the name of, who spoke in tandem with a knocker who moments earlier had been leveling an an expletive laced, but impassioned argument for glamour donations to the hard hitting rust belt states, raw, thick glamour pulsing through the room in ways most within hadn’t felt in years, if ever.
”In twilight of a gilded reign, As shadows dance and whispers feign, The high one's light shall dim and fade, By fate's cruel hand, a debt is paid.
A sword of legend, lost in night, Its gleam obscured from mortal sight, By treachery or destiny, In absence, a lost legacy.
Heart of stone and marble spire, Where power's grasp need not expire, Legends from forgotten days, Rouse the dream from ancient haze.
The crownless stand with eyes of fire, As chaos fuels their heart's desire, Old bonds shall break, new pacts be sworn, As heroes rise and hope is born.
When echoes of the past resound, And ancient dreams again are found, The veil 'twixt worlds shall thin and tear, Beware the time, and all take care.
For in the wake of shadow's call, The fate of kingdoms rise and fall, And from the mists of timeless lore, The once and future dream restore.”
The magic releases, the raw glamour subsiding rapidly and leaving Ellen feeling unsteady on her feet, her head swimming like she’s had too much to drink. Instinct drives her to haul her bag up, her opposite hand already pulling a pen from where it's tucked behind her ear to begin scribbling what she can remember of the prophecy onto a piece of paper. An alarmed whisper begins to ripple through the room, occasionally punctuated by exclamations of concern and fear. People were too shocked to manage to be too rowdy, and the musicians were all coming out of what seemed like a daze.
That is when a booming voice breaks through the crowd once more as a large blue skinned troll stands in the doorway, his cheeks already wet with tears.

”The High King is dead. Long live the High Queen.”

Welcome to Washington D.C. in the modern nights. The seat of power for Concordia and the United States alike, the Parliament of Dreams has recently experienced an extreme shift, with the dreaming whisking the buildings of Concordia’s government from New York City to the District for reasons unknown. Our story will take place in the wake of High King David Ardry’s death, and the resulting political fallout. As this seismic event rocks Concordia to its core, kithain - noble and commoner alike - must navigate a dangerous reoccurrence of events thought left behind at the end of The Evanescence in the 1990s. Multiple claimants to the throne step forward, noble houses begin to draw lines in the sand and insist their own members are worthy of the seat, and in dark corners there are whispers about new forms of government and tearing down the structures of power.
And to top it all off, the Dreaming acts in mysterious and erratic ways, setting events in motion that worry everyone about the stability of their world.
As a Changeling, you still live in a World of Darkness, but you dream of a different world altogether - a world of monsters and knights and troubadours, a world powered by the creativity of dreamers the world over, a world that has its shadows, but those shadows are cast by the fires of creativity itself...and if you are smart enough and lucky enough, you can make your dreams manifest.
All that being said, please do not come to me with a ready-made character concept - I will ignore it and it will even be points against you if you try to use that to sell me on picking you for the game. Come to me ready to sell yourself as a player. I’m far more interested in making sure I get a good mix of personalities and to be sure that my players all fit the kind of play style I’m going for. Characters will come later, when we sit down as a group to build out our motley and figure out how each individual character fits with the others and as part of the whole.
Other Information:
Mood: Hope in the face of uncertainty and tragedy, a hero’s call to adventure
Inspirational Sources: The Lord of the Rings, Labyrinth, Neverwhere, The West Wing, The Crown
Tone:

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6CcKUOfmkFYded8xc3lBIp?si=2a8573a0393b4e59
Trigger Warnings: (Fantasy) Racism, Classism, Harm to Animals, (nonphysical) Harm to Children, Mental Illness, Violence, Political themes
How to Apply: Fill out this form. https://forms.gle/gqPzgjWHnctHMdHG6

^{This is a repost with new info, corrections and better formatting. Thanks for previous contributions! <3}
I've seen quite a few "All lost My Chemical Romance songs" and "My Chemical Romance rarities" posts, but they mostly all either:

A: Conflate "Lost" with "Rare" or "Not studio-produced" B: Aren't Sourced C: Incomplete D: Have disinfo E: Mistakenly include working titles for later released tracks as "lost"

So, here we go! I've gotten most of my info from a few archives and long-time fans in the community but I would love to hear any additions you have to add! The more eyes the better!

For clarity: Bullets = I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love Revenge = Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge LOTMS = Life on the Murder Scene TBP = The Black Parade TBPID = The Black Parade Is Dead! DD = Danger Days CW = Conventional Weapons TPK = The Paper Kingdom MDNSY = May Death Never Stop You

^{Tracks are listed in supposed creation order, then by discovery or release} Nine Volt Heart ^aka Android [..?] - Song title found in now-lost Flash player elements of My Chemical Romance's official site going back to at least 5/25/2002. According to a 2011 text interview by Cassie The Venomous with Gerard and Mikey, the song was played once live at NJ's Loop Lounge to bad reactions from the band and poor fanfare and as a result shelved from future releases. Later possibly reworked into an unreleased song named "'Android...' something?". Though according to a 2004 post by SpaceyRaygun, a long-time friend of the band, Nine Volt Heart was instead reworked onto a Revenge track. ^{Fandom rumors going back to at least 5/3/2006 claim Nine Volt Heart was a cover of the Smashing Pumpkins' song Bodies albeit with slightly different lyrics. Although the poster's source songmeanings.net has since taken down the potentially false lyrics page.}
The Attic Demos ^aka Dreams ^\of/about]) Stabbing and/or Being Stabbed - A CD Distributed at early shows and among the band's circle. Later partially released on 2014's MDNSY, though these demos circulated the fandom pre-2014 from these promotional CDs.

Wish You Away ^aka Drowning Lessons Rough Mix - If community sources are to be believed (1) (2) (3) (4)) (5) a variant of The Attic Demos distributed among friends and family of the band contains recordings of 'Vampires Will Never Hurt You' titled "Stabbing" and 'Drowning Lessons' titled "Wish You Away" (Pre-release titles corroborated by the early instances of My Chemical Romance's website).
Stabbing ^aka Vampires Will Never Hurt You Demo - Found as of July 23rd, 2022. Demo released via Instagram from for Bullet's 20th anniversary. This CD was given to Nada Recording in 2002 prior to their recording of Bullets. Clip is partially cut off and downloaded through Instagram API.
Early Sunsets Over Monroeville Demo - An Attic Demo found by SpaceyRaygun with an Early Sunsets Over Monroeville recording not included on MDNSY. Included in notable bootlegs such as Self-titled MP3 Collection released 2010. ~Fake demo debunked by (Friend of Matt Pelissier) and SpaceyRaygun (The track's original source).

Sister to Sleep - One of the earliest songs written for Revenge, revealed in a 2003 interview as conceptualized for The Freddy vs. Jason Soundtrack before licensing fell through. It was re-conceptualized around The Sandman series of comics, where sleep is anthropomorphized as the titular Sandman, and his sister as Death. In its released form, the lyrics explore sleep as an analogy for death and themes of insomnia and institutionalization. Ultimately, the track was cut from release by producer Howard Benson. Two live recordings (1) (2) of this song have circulated the fandom for a number of years, with one found more recently all from the same show played in NYC's the Knitting Factory on 6/26/2003. On 10/17/2022, it was played once more in Inglewood during the RETURN Tour, albeit slightly different lyrics. Later, Frank spoke on a 2023 interview about using live footage for practice, likely explaining the difference in lyrics. In 2013 the band had stated in an interview potentially none of the members still possessed a copy of Sister to Sleep's demo recording (A claim still supported by Frank in a 2022 interview) except possibly for a soundcheck library recording Mikey was given from the Knitting Factory show. With renewed interest in the song, Matt Pelissier was asked via Twitter about the track. ^{If community sources \}1]) ^\2]) ^{are to be believed, a Twitter user "Martin" asked Gerard the whereabouts and existing number of these demos, Gerard would share that they lost the only existing copy moving from coast to coast a number of years ago. Martin then asked Matt about the demos to corroborate Gerard's story, which prompted Matt to reveal more info.} Matt claimed he was given an additional copy of Sister to Sleep, as were all of the band members, their studio and their label. Fans supposedly questioned his demo's legitimacy. (1) (2) (3) Matt then posted three 15 second clips of the track to his Instagram. These clips were DMCA claimed by Warner and Matt was threatened with potential legal action if he continued copyright violations. However, fans downloaded these clips before they were taken down. (1) (2) Afterwards, Matt was asked via text conversations by his Revenir bandmate u/dansplayslol11 after hearing the track if he still intended on leaking it. Matt explained that he didn't intend on releasing them being content as the apparent sole owner of the demo.

Manhattan Demos ^aka A-Demos - In 2013 the band had stated in an interview Sister to Sleep's studio recording existed on the "Manhattan Demos" or "A-Demos" as Ray called them that also contained demo material later released on LOTMS. Screenshots of other production tracklists around this time have also been leaked and released by several sources including Revenge producer Howard Benson. (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) Demo - A 1 minute 4 second Clip of an I'm Not Okay demo uploaded by the YouTube channel AJ Serna in 2012 which contains the line "And never mind the drugs you took" instead of Revenge's release version "The photographs your boyfriend took" with notably worse recording quality. ^{This lyric was likely remnants from when the song served as the conclusion to the album with a spoken word outro by Daryl Palumbo \}Of Glassjaw, Head Automatica] and is more in-line with) ^{early production takes of the song.}
Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge Instrumentals - Instrumental versions of all 13 original Revenge tracks can be heard as backing tracks for the duration of LOTMS. Never released as a stand-alone instrumental promotional album unlike TBP.
Someone Out There Loves You - Released as a live performance on the official TBPID DVD as Track 30 with a live video. Unofficially titled 'Stay' by fans before its official title was revealed by Gerard on Twitter. Frank revealed in an interview with The Music that the song had a studio demo but "lyrical reservations" prevented its release.
MCRBlog 09' Demos - Throughout 2009, the band would post an occasional series titled 'Practice Cam' where they'd take photos and videos of whiteboards containing song titles. Fans like Cassie the Venomous were able to decipher some of these titles, and later corroborate them with at-the-time newly released live performances. (What was initially titled 'Siren Song' as a live performance eventually released as 'AMBULANCE', ect.) However, some of these teased titles never received accompanying live material. These include:

"Still Alive" ^\Also detailed in) ^{this interview.\}) "Teenage Girl" "Pretty [..?]" "Monster Jam" ^\This could be in reference to the video game 'Monster Jam: Masters of Mayhem' of which 'I'm Not Ok)' ^{appeared as an in-game track})^.\)

Hell Hath No Fury - This track was apparently credited to My Chemical Romance (1) (2) for 2012's The Man With The Iron Fists but never appeared on the movie's soundtrack. ^{It's theorized this track midway through the film is a snippet of the track.}
The Paper Kingdom - Proceeding DD's touring cycle, the My Chemical Romance began work on their 5th studio record before scrapping the album due to burnout, depression and unhealthy habits. (1) (2) Some of this material was likely posted by a user named Excalibur and sold for $10k+ on the leaked music website Leaked.cx in late September 2022. Snippets of these tracks with added auditory watermarks were provided by the leaker for legitimacy from tracks with the filenames "Dark Cloud", "Witch" and "Wake Up!". However, these clips were taken down by Warner both on leaked.cx and on other sites' reposts, likely validating the leak's legitimacy. One track recognized by Warner's automatic content ID system was entitled "Paper Swords" by My Chemical Romance.

The Foundations of Decay Sessions - According to comments by Excalibur made under leaked.cxs TPK leak, they also possessed demo sessions for the My Chemical Romance's 2022 release The Foundations of Decay. It was unclear whether these sessions were also purchased and vaulted alongside TPK's leak by the same or another buyer.

... These aren't exactly "lost", only ^\notable]) live performances with no evidence of official or studio variants: ^{FYI, any of these songs can be heard with a simple YouTube or Internet Archive search \}if I don't already link a primary or secondary source here.)
Everybody Tie Your Shoe - Stage banter on TBP's 2007 tour. Released on the 'Fans of Compilations' bootleg album in 2008.
The Drugs - A scrapped song played live sometime during 2009 during the Summer Sonic Festival. Later never released alongside the other CW-era singles or later DD material. Released as a live track on 'Still Chemical Dependency' bootleg album in 2009.
Everybody Hates the Eagles ^aka Kill Em' All ^aka DD Jam Session - A DD-era Jam Session repurposed for the My Chemical Romance's 2022-2023 tour and given lyrics with a variety of concluding lines rhyming or spinning on the phrase "Everybody Hates the Eagles". (1) (2) (3) (4)
... These aren't in any sense "lost". Some just aren't on streaming services, just obscure or with no official release: ^{FYI, any of these songs can be heard with a simple YouTube or Internet Archive search \}if I don't already link a primary or secondary source here.)
Jack the Ripper (cover) - Live cover of Morrissey's song released on the EP Like Phantoms, Forever in 2002 including live banter, then later released as a cut-down version on the Thank You for the Venom 7" in 2004. ^{Often mistaken for separate live and studio tracks such as mislabeling on the Self-titled MP3 Collection and other MP3 archives.}
Give Em' Hell, Kid Alt. Version - An alternate version of Give Em' Hell, Kid from iTunes.
Under Pressure (cover) - Cover of Queen and David Bowie's song as a collaboration with The Used made for release as a single and a bonus track for The Used's 2004 release 'In Love and Death'.
Astro Zombies (cover) - Cover of Misfits' song released for Tony Hawk's American Wasteland 2005.
I Never Told You What I Do For a Living Demo - Demo track released on LOTMS lyrically and sonically distinct from its Revenge release.
Bury Me in Black - Demo released first as a Japanese Revenge bonus track, later released internationally on LOTMS.
Desert Song - Complete studio track intended for Revenge, released exclusively on LOTMS.
Song 2 (cover) - Cover of Blur's song released on Radio 1's Live Lounge Album in 2006.
The Black Parade Instrumentals - Promotional CDr distributed to advertisers alongside TBP in 2006.
The Black Parade: The B-Sides - Includes My way Home Is Through You, Kill All Your Friends and Heaven Help Us. Released as a stand-alone b-side album in 2009 including bonus tracks released alongside TBP in 2006.
Desolation Row (cover) - Cover of Bob Dylan's song for release with Watchmen (2009) with an accompanying promotional music video set in the Watchmen universe.
All I Want for Christmas Is You (cover) - Cover of Mariah Carey's song for 2009's Christmas compilation album Gift Wrapped: 20 Songs That Keep On Giving.
We Don't Need Another Song About California - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys iTunes Deluxe bonus track.
Zero Percent - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys Japanese bonus track.
Sing Single - Radio edit and instrumental single of Sing released in 2010.
The Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP - Collection of songs written during DD's production (Black Dragon Fighting Society being written before DD), intended to be My Chemical Romance's in-universe proxy. Released with DD's 2010 box set and released digitally for the first time in 2022.
Bulletproof Heart Single - Radio edit and instrumental single of Bulletproof Heart released in 2011.
Planetary (GO!) Remixes - Planetary (GO!) single remixes by Lags Gallows & Vasquez/Gorman released in 2011.
Common People (cover) - Cover of Pulp's song for BBC Radio 1, Released on the 2011 The Only Hope For Me Is You EP.
Every Snowflake is Different (Just Like You) - A track made for the show Yo' Gabba Gabba in 2011. Made alongside a music video featured on the show. Notably similar to S/C/A/E/C/O/W and preformed live by My Chemical Romance on tour the same year.
#SINGItForJapan - Full orchestral Japanese instrumental version of SING following earthquakes and tsunamis that devastated Japan in 2011. Released as a single alongside a YouTube upload and merchandise to raise money for Japanese charities.
The Kids from Yesterday Remixes - Australian-exclusive box set released 2012 including remixes from Dan P. Carter, Lags Gallows and Vazquez/Gorman.
Fake Your Death - The first track on May Death Never Stop You and released as a single. Theorized as originally made for TPK. Aside: I hear his VERY widely talked about as a fact, butthe main article citedis mistakenly referencing Gerard's solo work. As likely as this rumor is, there is no evidence.
Black Parade / Living with Ghosts - Black Parade's 10-year anniversary release including a variety of TBP demos both scrapped and reworked onto the 2006 release.
Welcome to the Black Parade (Steve Aoki 10th Anniversary Remix) - Remix of Welcome to the Black Parade by Steve Aoki for TBP's 10th Anniversary.
... Specific thanks to u/mj2000p, u/Tongara, u/danplayslol11, SpaceyRaygun and Party in the affiliated My Chemical Romance Discord for previous edits. To see the edits check out my original post.

Please do not harass or beg band members or those affiliated with the band for unreleased material. Archival efforts are important but many of these songs fall under copyright and/or hold great personal value. Be respectful in reaching out to potential leads.

If anyone has better sources, anything else to correct or add I'd love to add to what I have and will credit.
Thanks for all the help! <3 Happy 20 years to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge! :3

I know its only a dramatization of what happened, but quite frankly, I wouldn't expect anything less from Long Island (especially Suffolk County) police than the sheer incompetence, idiocy, misogyny, unprofessionalism, and utter disregard for their jobs that we see in the film. Did they even fucking look for any of these women?? The Suffolk County D.A. needs to reopen the investigation into the death...no, the murder, of Shannan Gilbert right fucking now. And for that matter, the deaths of Valerie Mack, Karen Vergata, "Peaches", her baby, and John Doe. Stop grandstanding and do your fucking job Suffolk County

• firstly baby dinos, this could be implemented exactly like planet zoo. Just make the dinos do their social animation then later let one of ‘em lay eggs. The eggs could just act like a decoration. Then let the baby’s spawn next to the eggs and make the eggs disappear or change to shells . The eggs would need six looks total. Three for the different sizes of dinos that lay them and three for when they are broken. The option for birth control would be there just like in planet zoo and baby dinos would not count as population till adult. The baby’s would just be a small version of the dino and all have the same skin. After a few in game years they could reach adulthood by just instantly changing in a grown dino with the skin of one of their parents. This seems to me like a fair deal at launch. Flyers and aquatics wouldn’t need breeding per se but would be appreciated.
  
• bigger aviaries and invisible fences for flyers
  
• Natural lagoons that can be placed like a normal one
  
• Semi aquatics that can swim in water you place, would just be cool not necessary for me but cool
  
• Animals don’t starve themselves
  
• Animals don’t just stop moving and die
  
• Have all the buildings from both games
  
• Have the meeting of the elders type socialising back
  
• Instead of having to place a ranger station in the enclosure just select the enclosure or the area you want covered by rangers. This area should be upgradable
  
• Cenozoic animals, I get some people really don’t see them fit and I get that but it would be cool too have a herd of mammoths in the snow or a smilodon on the hunt. What I mean is that for a sequel to be worth it it would have to innovate and a few of the best known cenozoics would be a great addition for me.
  
• a good well rounded campaign in which you can unlock everything the game has to offer as you progress. Maybe return to the five deaths but now you can control the whole of the islands and not only a tiny bit of them. Peña would suck but that’s why it exists I guess. Maybe a campaign through eras or separate campaigns through different locations and time periods. Anyway just a campaign that keeps you playing too unpack another reward or unlock a different dino and improved your parks. Of course you have multiple revisitable maps in each campaign in which progress carries over.
  
• I want better terrain editing tools but don’t make the fences obsolete. Playing a mission which has sabotage or other problems that cause your dinos to wreak havoc would be entirely pointless if they can’t escape because of some cliff or river.
  
• Upgrade the skins so we can implement different patterns and colours next to some presets. The skins of the last few games are really hit or miss so let us choose the colours and if possible in some way the patterns so they feel like our dinos
  
• Don’t let the animals die of old age if there are no babies to keep the species in our parks going. It also makes it hard to form an attachment to an “asset” when they just roll over and die in a few hours.
  
• Scientists are just a pain just make them a bonus or something to get a better success rate or an even faster expedition.
  
• All species from jwe2 MUST BE THERE! I ain’t paying for spinoraptor or huayangasaurus for a third time.
  
• Make marines more than just glorified goldfish and make flyers walk. No clue how marines could be more interesting but at least fix the lightning and make them have specific needs like depth of water and certain kelp or coral.
  
• I personally liked the style of jwe1 better in therms of how it looked so make jwe3 an improvement on that. Jwe2 is objectively more beautiful but just feels off at certain points don’t quite know how to explain.
  
• More decorations and more organisation of decorations. Also make guests appreciate decorations
  
• Make guests see dinos through bars, but give visibility a boost in attractions
  
• More attractions
  
• Fix the four guest types to either just one or just regular and rich guests. Of course the rich bring more income.
  
• Make at least all vehicles able to tranq.
  
• Don’t have small animals transported via helicopter but instead via a truck. The truck don’t care about what route to take and delivers dinos to selected locations no matter how.
  
• Make dinos act like animals and not like monsters. The indominus and Indoraptor are monsters so they’ll kill anything but a lone carnotaurus won’t attack every hadrosaur it sees if it’s not starving or at least hungry that’s just not how animals act. This would make site b parks a lot easier
  
• Make a random island generator so our maps are more unique and personal
  
• Make herbivore feeders return. Just make most of the food come from feeders and a small part from plants and foliage. I’m sick of my sauropods needing an entire jungle in wich I can barely see them
  
• Different live feeders like cows, deer, sheep etc
  
• Probably other stuff but this is what’s most important to me if I’m to spend money on a third Jurassic park builder
  

First I have to say, if Lysander has no haters, I have died and gone to the vale. I bawled like a baby last night reading the last 10% of LB. I need Pierce Brown to give us the most satisfying death for Lysander in Red God.
Now, I'm not sure what to read next. I started a quick palette cleanser, but would love any fantasy series recs that give similar vibes to RR without being a space opera. I ask this because I think it's too soon for me to jump into another sci-fi/space opera series without muddling things together and comparing it to RR. For context this was my first sci-fi series, though I do have Project Hail Mary on my TBR!

Baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain 'Cause, baby, you are psycho I think it's alright though 'Cause I love you more when you drive me insane You shot my heart with a smoking gun Then you laughed and told me that you did it all for fun Pathological lies, you got that look in your eyes That drives me crazy, but I'm goddamn terrified Circling conversations and accusations Are all we are worried about Why can't we have some patience, communication? Let's figure it out Baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go, 'cause you're like a hole burned into my brain 'Cause, baby, you are psycho I think it's alright though 'Cause I love you more when you drive me insane You give me a heart attack, run it back Why you gotta talk like that? This another one of your games? 'Cause, baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain Burned in the back of my mind, you set off a fire Now it's settin' my world ablaze You're always way outta line But most of the time you know that you're gonna get your way Circling conversations and accusations Are all we are worried about Why can't we have some patience, communication? Let's figure it out Baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain 'Cause, baby, you are psycho I think it's alright though 'Cause I love you more when you drive me insane You give me a heart attack, run it back Why you gotta talk like that? This another one of your games? 'Cause, baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain Ooh, why do I feel like You might just tear me in two? Ooh, why do feel like You left me tattered and bruised? Baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain 'Cause, baby, you are psycho I think it's alright though 'Cause I love you more when you drive me insane You give me a heart attack, run it back Why you gotta talk like that? This another one of your games? 'Cause, baby, you're my death note I don't wanna let go 'Cause you're like a hole burned into my brain

I just adopted three guineas from the shelter. A boy and two girls. I want them in the same cage so that my boy doesn’t get lonely and so that I can have one big cage instead of two relatively large ones. So I figured that neutering the boy would be my best option.
I called the vet and they quoted me for a prince range of $700-over $1000. Is this normal? I’d be okay with even $500 but I’ve seen online suggest that it costs around $150. Should I keep looking or accept my fate of having to pay that amount.
Truthfully, I think that even maintaining baby piggies would cost less in the short term than those $1000, but lmk if you guys have any info on this plz! Edit : i meant to write neutered

Hi all,
I’m considering transferring out a small ish defined benefit pension into a SIPP.
The value of the pension is £2.5kpa. Key details are as follows: - inflation adjusted each year by CPI - lump sum death grant currently worth £11k - annual survivors pension of £0.6kpa - linked to state pension age but should be able to take it with reduced benefits of c45% reduction at 57. - some of the £2.5k benefit could be exchanged for a lump sum on a £1 for £7 lump sum basis at pensionable age.
Few details about me: 32M, looking to retire between 50-55. I’m conscious that the state pension age will continue to rise and I’ll take a big hit to take this pension early. I’m thinking that transferring the value now as a lump sum to a SIPP and with the (hopefully) compounding gains effect between now and when I’m 50-55 it’ll be worth more than if I leave it in the defined benefit scheme and take a % reduction to take it early.
1) Has anyone previously transferred out of a defined benefit scheme? How was the process of doing this? I know it’s frowned upon as usually they are really lucrative pension schemes but I just don’t feel it will fit with my circumstances / aims and objectives of retiring early. 2) Is there a rough rule of thumb for calculating how much this will be worth to transfer out? I’ve asked for a quote but would like to know roughly what to expect. It’s currently calculated as £40k of my LTA per the latest benefit statement. Does this translate to a value to transfer? I’m conscious that I’ll likely need to take specific financial advice for over £30k transfer.
Any help / thoughts much appreciated. I don’t really have anyone I can discuss this kind of thing with.