Chapter 1

Concept art for Sybil
Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 19
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As Alen woke up from the procedure, his view was taken up by lots of tools and instruments and, of course, the woman in red. At least she seemed somewhat satisfied this time. "All his vitals are stable. Give him a few minutes for the last of the anesthesia to wear off, and he should be good to send back."
Alen tried to sit up, got light-headed, and laid back down. Instead, he looked over at the woman in red. "So it's done? You cut off my foot and replaced it?"
The woman's glare was icy cold as she answered. "I saved your life and gave you a temporary replacement for a mangled limb, yes."
Alen felt a little embarrassed, realizing how he must have sounded. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to imply I wasn't grateful. It's just a lot to take in, you know? But I appreciate everything you did for me and all." Then, realizing he didn't even know what to call her, he added. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just realized I don't know your name."
A little of the ice seemed to melt as the woman folded her arms. Her expression now looked bored, if anything, but somehow Alen felt like he was less on her bad side than a moment ago. "Yes, well, you may call me Sybil, and you're welcome, I suppose. Now, try sitting up again and see if you can put some weight on your new foot so I can see if there are any needed adjustments."
Alen sat up a little slower this time, and the world seemed content to stay in place. After another moment, he grabbed hold of a rail and eased himself down onto his feet, one of which was now shiny and metallic. As soon as it made contact with the ground, he felt a jolt shoot up through his leg and into his spine, and he immediately took all his weight off the foot and raised it, noticing it was heavier than before as he did so.
The woman in red gave him an indecipherable look. "Too much pain for you to handle?"
Alen shook his head. "Not pain exactly...but it felt...I don't know...wrong, I guess? It's kind of hard to describe..."
The woman tilted her head. "Kind of like it's asleep but not quite, right?"
Alen eased his foot down again and nodded. "Something like that, yeah..."
With a nod, the woman seemed satisfied. "That's to be expected. Now try taking a few steps while holding onto the railing for balance."
Alen took a few steps, and while his foot felt wrong, it got easier with every step. The woman nodded. "Alright. I'd recommend using a walking cane for a day or two until you get comfortable with the feeling. You may feel some pain from time to time, and there are several therapies we can use to deal with that, but for now, I want you to focus on learning to walk with your temporary foot."
A new voice Alen wasn't familiar with spoke up from behind him. "Huh, I didn't know you had such a nice bedside manner. Does that mean I just have to break a leg to get on your good side?"
Alen turned around to see a much more around-the-edges man watching. He looked like he might be a bit overweight, but Alen could tell under any fat also sat a considerable amount of muscle. The woman's voice dripped with acid as she responded to the man. "A polite cockroach is a more tolerable cockroach. You should try giving more respect if you want to receive it!"
The man chuckled. "I'd say right back at you, but that'd be starting a fight we don't have time for right now, so how about we call it a draw for now and move on. Now, how about we get you back to your friends, kid."
Remembering something the woman had said earlier, Alen turned back to her. "Wait, you mentioned therapies? Shouldn't you tell me about them now if I'm leaving the ship?"
The man shook his head. "Yeah, about that kid... Your stay has been somewhat extended. I'll explain as we walk." He then turned to Vanessa, who'd apparently been observing from the corner for a while. "You too. Erik is back with the rest of your people."
Vanessa nodded. "Then I shall accompany you."
-
As Carter explained the situation, the kid seemed quiet. He just shrugged it off as the kid was probably focusing on walking with his new foot and cane, but the kid spouted off as soon as he finished. "We have to go back and get them!"
Carter shook his head. "Even if the pirates haven't already picked them up, there's too many ships for us to deal with now. Sorry, but it's too late."
The kid didn't seem ready to give up as he glared at Carter. "You shouldn't have left them back there to begin with!"
Realizing the kid had been through a lot recently, Carter decided to take it a bit easy on him, but he still took a slightly harsh tone to drive home what he was about to say. "Listen, kid, as much as you wish it wasn't so, in this universe, 'should' and 'can' very rarely match up as much as you'd like. We did our best and gave the pirates a bloody nose on the way out, but you all shouldn't have picked that fight to begin with. If you want to blame someone for your troubles, blame your captain. Although I'd say he's already paid the price for his choices. So how about you just say thanks for saying your ass, and we move on, eh kid?"
The kid was quiet a moment before he responded, his voice sounding less confrontational than a moment ago. "Fine... thanks for saving my ass. But stop calling me kid. My name is Alen."
Carter nodded. "That's fair, Alen. Anyway, you seem to have gotten on one of Sybil's good sides, or at least as good a side as I've seen that part of her have, so I might put you in charge of making any requests your people might have while you're our guests. Think you're up to it?"
The kid, Alen, looked back at Vanessa, who didn't seem to have much to add, before turning back to Carter. "I guess? How long are we gonna be here, though? Can't you just drop us off at a nearby planet or station?"
Carter chuckled. "If only it were that easy. Try asking some of your more...experienced sailors about the Sybil. They might have an interesting story or two for ya! Don't worry too much, though. We'll do our best not to live up to all the stories."
That seemed to have distracted Alen enough so that he shut up for a bit, and they walked in silence the rest of the way.
-
Carter looked at the hold full of people. Well, full might have been an exaggeration. Even with the escape pods, they didn't take up a whole lot of room. In the end, they'd only pulled in about half the stranded crew on time, but they still outnumbered the Sybil's "crew" of one many times over, which meant some precautions needed to be taken.
As Alen rejoined the rest of his crew members, Carter stepped forward and raised his voice to be heard over the din of the bay. "Attention crew of the Trader's Vigilance. I am Carter, Captain of the Sybil on which you now reside. Some of you, particularly the older sailors, might be familiar with some of the stories about the Sybil. You might have been told that she's haunted and that no living person who's ever set foot in her halls has ever been seen or heard from again. I'll be honest with you; those stories are more true than not. However, this time, and this time only, the Sybil has agreed to make an exception to that second bit so long as you play by her rules!"
Of course, it was Erik who raised his hand to ask a question. Carter nodded toward the large alien. "Yes?"
Of course, the crazy alien was grinning. "You speak about your ship as though she is alive. Even more so than most captains!"
Carter nodded. "That's because she is! I'll say this, the Sybil can be temperamental, cruel, and even sadistic at times! You do NOT want to get on her bad side! Even I can't save you if you're stupid enough to do that!"
There was more than a bit of grumbling in response, and Carter held up his hands to get their attention. "Now, like I said, you all get a one-time exemption to that, so long as you play by her rules. They are as follows."
Carter held up a hand with the index finger pointing up. "First, during your stay here, you will be allotted access to one deck, including rooms to sleep in, a mess hall, bathrooms, and even a rec room, even if it's a little bare bones. You are not to leave that deck without my direct permission for any reason. Doing so WILL put your health, sanity, and life in extreme peril!"
More grumbling, and Carter held up his hand with two fingers raised. "Second, as long as you remain our guests, all weapons and armor must be left in the escape pods! If, for some reason, you wish to do any maintenance on them, you must do so within the confines of your pod. Removing weapons from the pod will be punishable by your immediate eviction from the ship, with or without your escape pod! And if there is any question about the Sybil's ability to detect weapons, let me tell you that right now, eleven of you have guns on your person, fifteen have knives, and thirteen of you have other weapons of less common or otherwise improvised design."
This time, the grumbling was louder, but Carter cut them off. "If you don't like that, you are welcome to remain in your escape pods as long as you prefer, and we'll arrange for food to be brought to you!"
A bit of the grumbling died down, and Carter decided to finish things up and raised his third finger. "Third and final, if something that seems like an AI appears and issues any order or commands to you, you are to obey those orders immediately and without question. They will not issue orders merely on a whim, but they do not have to explain their reasons either. Remember, you are their guests, and they are granting you a rare exception to their usual policy of not allowing outsiders to set foot within their halls. You'd do best to stay on their good side. Is that clear?"
This time, the mumbling went on a bit longer, and Carter allowed it for a moment before speaking again. "Alright. Those of you who want to remain in your pods are welcome to do so. The rest of you who currently have weapons on your person, please deposit them into your escape pods, and I'll take you to your deck."
There was a flurry of movement. Unsurprisingly, no one wanted to stay in the pods alone aboard a ghost ship. However, a moment later, Carter received a report from the girl through his earpiece. He walked up to one of the men and addressed them. "Excuese me, mister..?"
The man straightened up and even gave Cater a salute. Something that didn't sit too well with him. "Harris, sir!"
Carter nodded. "Well, mister Harris, I'm going to assume that you just forgot about the pocket knife you have in your lower cargo pocket on your pants and that you did not retain it with malicious intent, but you'll want to deposit it into your escape pod immediately."
The man, Harris, patted his pocket and grinned sheepishly enough that Carter couldn't tell if it was an act or not. "Of course, sir! My apologies!"
Carter just shook his head. "Don't apologize, just don't do it again. I won't be able to save you if you break a rule a second time."
The rest of the stranded crew sorted out their issues in relatively short order, and Carter led them to their temporary housing area.
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Well, sounds like almost all of the characters have gotten to know each other. Now to see how well they all get along!
My Wiki has all my chapters and stories, including the short series and stories that I write for an occasional change of pace or style!
As a reminder, "Of Men and Dragons" Books 1 and 2 are available to purchase in e-book or physical form. (Both softcover and hardcovers are available!) Book 3 is almost done being edited, so I'll just have to get the cover art and formatting done, and it will be available to purchase as well! Hopefully, in no more than a month or two! (Barring more Amazon drama like last time... fingers crossed!)
OMAD Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NCPP3PP
OMAD Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CQ7FQ1ZJ

For a little background, I transferred in credits from Sophia and Study before my first term at WGU. That helped me knock out a lot of classes. I had some previous experience with coding as I learnt on my free time before WGU but I only knew the basics and OOP principles. I am a full time student, however, I have not been putting in the amount of work I hoped I would due to burnout/laziness. I'm hoping by posting this, I will start utilizing my time better and can hold myself accountable. At the same time, I hope I could help/inspire others and connect with current alumni's or graduates too.
I am in Computer Science
I started my term in March and since then, I've been able to complete these courses so far:

• Ethics in Technology - D333
• Scripting and Programming Applications - C867
• Linux Foundations - D281
• Java Fundamentals - D286
• Java Frameworks - D287
• Back End Programming - D288
• Advanced Java - D387
• Version Control - D197
• Business of IT Applications - D336

I highly recommend using u/katrinars_ guide. All of the classes I completed, I used her notion links and supplemented it with additional reddit guides to help me. https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vT2YfYBaoU9Jxh0hj9ytbYvGUL7FAWN7wzyWOk6JCsErmGib4_qbBkEhz1sE-_Bqx1e1v349GOx41DA/pub
Time estimations not accurate as I don't remember how long it's taken me to complete each course. I also took breaks during and in between each course. You could probably complete these courses faster than me if you have slightly more experience or put in more work than me.
Ethics in Technology - Difficulty 3/10 - 3 Days I studied around 10 hours total for this course. I felt confident going into the OA as I remembered a majority of the vocabulary. I recommend not only knowing the vocabulary, but also knowing how to apply it and in what situations it may occur. I felt like it was possible I would fail midway through the OA but managed to pass. I recommend studying more than what I did if you're not confident in your retention and test-taking skills.
Scripting and Programming Applications - Difficulty 3/10 - ~3 Days This class was easy for me as I already knew 95% of the content. All I had to figure out was the syntax. I can't give much advice on this course as I had already knew the content.
Linux Foundations - Difficulty 3/10 - ~5 Days Follow katrinars_ guide and you should be golden. There is a lot of reading and it can get boring. I recommend doing the Cisco Networking Academy Linux Essentials course linked and pay special attention to the practice quizzes. Especially the ones linked as pdfs.
Java Fundamentals - Difficulty 2/10 - 2 Days I knew the material already. All I did was do the practice exam in zybooks and scheduled the OA.
Java Frameworks - Difficulty 5/10 - ~3 weeks I had this sent back due to not fully understanding how the application was supposed to work. I fixed it within an hour and I passed. If you have any questions on any parts, feel free to ask me. I'll try to guide you towards the right direction without breaking academic integrity. I watched the Chad Darby Udemy videos all the way through and it helped.
Back End Programming - Difficulty 4/10 - ~2 weeks Basically the same as Java Frameworks. I watched the Chad Darby Udemy videos. Got stuck on some parts due to silly mistakes. Feel free to ask me questions.
Advanced Java - Difficulty 3/10 - ~1 week Overall this was the easiest course out of the Java stack. Relatively easy unless you encounter mistakes that takes you 4 hours to debug...
Version Control - Difficulty 1/10 - 1 Day Refer to katrinars_ guide.
Business of IT Applications - Difficulty 3/10 - ~5 Days I could've finished this class earlier if I wasn't being so lazy. Similar to Ethics in Technology, I felt super confident going into the certification exam however felt a lot less confident while taking it. The questions were worded slightly different to the practice exams I was taking so it caught me off guard. I passed by a good margin so I wouldn't stress it too much if you feel like you know the material.
Courses Remaining
These are my remaining courses. Do y'all think it's realistic to complete these courses by August? Obviously people differ with how long each course takes but for those who accelerated or completed these courses, can you tell me roughly how long each of these courses took you to complete? Thank you.

• Computer Architecture - C952
• Discrete Mathematics II - C960
• Operating Systems for Programmers - C191
• Data Structures and Algorithms II - C950
• Technical Communication - D339
• Software Design and Quality Assurance - D480
• Computer Science Capstone - C964

Note: This guide contains minor spoilers.
Brogue is a challenging game and many players never manage to “beat” it, despite months or even years of attempts. This guide is intended as a framework for optimizing your gameplay so that you too can join the ranks of glorious heroes who’ve ascended the Dungeons of Doom with the Amulet of Yendor held high.
Part 1: Mindset
In his book Outliers, the journalist Malcom Gladwell makes the case that plane crashes aren’t usually caused by a single event, but an accumulation of small factors that eventually become unmanageable for the pilots. This is a useful analogy for dying in Brogue.
In most cases, a monster won’t simply walk over and kill you. Rather, you’ll use an unidentified potion that causes you to catch on fire and in the course of walking to the water, you’ll trip over a confusion trap and end up getting stung to death by eels and toads. Things start off fine, a minor accident happens and then problems pile up and suddenly you’re dead. How did this happen?
Most deaths in Brogue can be attributed to underestimating the dangers that surround you and not having contingency plans ready. Winning, therefore, is largely a matter of isolating threats and dealing with each individually, while meanwhile collecting as many contingency plans as possible. It’s much easier to kill a single pink jelly by backing yourself into a nook, for instance, than it is to stand in the open and fight eight of them at once. Your odds of survival are much greater if you have several weapons and means of escape at hand.
As you play, constantly assess how much danger you’re in. You should do this each time you descend to a new level, but also periodically throughout each level. It helps to be somewhat familiar with the game’s monsters and other hazards and to know on which levels they typically appear. By the time you reach depth 6, for instance, there’s a good chance you’ll start encountering ogres. Don’t wait until one is standing in front of you to come up with a means of killing it. Have as many plans as possible ready before you can even see her.
Tip: A common place people die is around depth 7 or 8. It’s by this time that, barring some great luck in early gear, you’ll need to begin committing to a build. The first few levels of the game will forgive a player who wanders around without much of a plan, but around depth 8, more difficult enemies appear and you need an efficient way to kill or avoid them.
Upon each descent to a new level, ask yourself, “How much am I risking by keeping this item unused in my inventory? Will using this now keep me alive on this level or am I simply wasting something that could be put to better use later?” Greedily hoarding six enchant scrolls because you still haven’t found the perfect weapon is a common precursor to death. Always just trying to stay alive for one more level is an ideal strategy if you can sustain it deep enough.
This leads us to the most underrated asset a player can wield in Brogue: information.
Part 2: Information
Like many roguelikes, Brogue is made more challenging because the player has incomplete information about his surroundings. The map is dark. There are hidden traps and enemies. Items and equipment are not identified. They could be cursed or harmful. And even if you know which items are harmful and which are helpful because you’ve used a detect magic potion, if it’s the first time you’ve encountered an item, you still won’t know precisely how it’s helpful or harmful.
Mere information is enough to keep you alive in many situations. That you could easily die with an unidentified teleport scroll in your inventory is evidence of this. The difference between being overcome by a group of furies or jackals and easily dispatching the group is knowing just where they are on the other side of that door. Waiting a few moments might save your life, if only you know well enough to do so.
You should not attempt to kill every monster in the dungeon. If you can clearly see that you can kill a monster and you’re sure that no other monster will approach during that fight, it’s generally a good idea to kill it so that it doesn’t later happen upon you at an inopportune time. But if there’s a dragon alone in a small room, it’s generally a good idea to leave him alone.
Scrolls of magic mapping, rings of awareness, rings of clairvoyance, telepathy charms and detect magic potions are incredibly valuable. Awareness gives your character free searches with each move, reducing the chance of stepping on a trap that could trigger a fatal chain reaction of events. Clairvoyance ensures you won’t miss hidden rooms and gives you advance notice of monsters. Telepathy shows you the locations and movement patterns of enemies. Detect magic ensures you won’t read a cursed scroll or equip a piece of equipment that could weaken your character long enough to kill him. Magic mapping ensures you and your allies don’t step on traps and it helps optimize your route, saving on food costs and aiding in tactical awareness for fights.
Your goal with regard to information should be a complete view of everything. This is not possible, but recognizing how much you can’t see and know is a useful step toward mitigating the risks that those information gaps present.
Tip: If you don’t have gear to help you detect hidden things, search often. (But not too often or you’ll run out of food and starve, perhaps the most ignominious of all Brogue deaths.) Clairvoyance and awareness rings are underrated — strongly consider taking them from vaults unless there’s a regeneration ring, which is perhaps the most powerful, or a ring you need for your build, like stealth or wisdom.
Part 3: Gear
Flexibility is key to survival in Brogue, because the environment is chaotic. Fires spread, clouds of noxious gasses unexpectedly fill the rooms and enemies grow greater in number as the player descends. Whatever your gear preference, the best way to survive is to decide on a build based on what’s available. Stubbornly clinging to the hope a broadsword will appear could mean an early death if you fail to use what gear is actually available.
A wide range of builds are viable. The key is to experiment, iterate and constantly assess how your selected loadout is faring against the dungeon’s threats.
Some seeds contain altars that allow the player to swap the enchants of one item to another, allowing the player to use one build in the early game and another for later levels.
Broadly, there are two strategies for gearing up. One is to put most or all enchants into a single item. The other is to spread the enchants around. Both can be viable depending on the seed.
Going all-in on a teleportation charm is a viable strategy with a bit of luck, and made more viable by armor that blocks dragonfire.
Fully enchanting a regeneration ring works best if the seed also happens to contain powerful weapons and armor with some level of innate enchantment.
Putting most or all enchants into a stealth ring can work if you have a war hammer, which is a slow weapon and otherwise difficult to use.
Many of the staves work well as the centerpiece of a build, as well.
There’s a table online that shows the amount of damage each weapon does. Consulting this can reveal tradeoffs in putting yet another enchant into your weapon versus diversifying and putting some enchants into a staff or ring, instead. It’s generally not worth enchanting armor unless it has a runic you’re using in your build.
Part 4: More tips to win Brogue
Even those who are good at Brogue die a lot. The No. 1 tip is to not give up. Replay each death, either in your mind or literally using the game’s recording function, to figure out what you might have done differently to survive. Eventually, you will prevail. It’s tough, but far from impossible.

• Consult the in-game “discovered items” menu to see which items you’ve discovered. This can help make risk-reward assessments when using unidentified items.
  
• Using unidentified items in batches (away from enemies) is a good way of mitigating the danger of that activity. Using a hallucination potion or fire potion is much less dangerous if you can follow it up immediately with a life potion.
  
• Stay away from eels.
  
• Avoid equipping unidentified gear unless you’re desperate or have a way of removing cursed gear, such as a scroll of remove curse, scroll of protect armor, scroll of protect weapon, or an enchant scroll. The latter is wasteful but better than being dead, and many cursed items can make a run fatally difficult.
  
• Remember helpful landmarks. Bloodwort stalks, pools of lava and chasms can all be used to help you navigate tricky situations. Bloodwort pods can heal. Luring enemies upstairs and then jumping down through chasms can eliminate threats. Lava can be combined with beckoning or entrancement to kill most enemies in a single turn.
  
• Try not to miss hidden rooms. They might contain food, life potions, enchant scrolls or other gear that would make a big difference between success and failure.
  
• Negation kills golems instantly.
  
• Don’t get cocky. No matter how powerful you get, getting paralyzed in the wrong place will kill you, as will many other things.
  
• Consider the multiple uses that items may have. A little forethought and creativity, combining items with the environment, can yield powerful outcomes.
  
• You can use an item from a vault and then return it to get a new item.
  

There’s a lot more to know, but the fun of the game is figuring these things out yourself and maybe even trying item combinations others haven’t considered.
Godspeed.

Hi all, I’m very new to Reddit culture and have only joined since my breakup earlier this week. Please excuse the novel I’m about to write. I’m 24F and my ex is 24M. We were long distance for the majority of our relationship due to graduating college early/ late and then moving to different cities to start our first jobs.
We came from very different backgrounds but fit together so nicely. Our relationship was beautiful and fun but not without struggles. I was always going to see him more because “it made sense” and he rarely came out to see me. He works night shifts and I work a 9-5 and often go to bed early. I live in the city and he lives in the middle of nowhere. But we were happy, so so so happy. For 2.5 years we made it worked and there would be problems but they would always get fixed, all it took was a conversation. Our problem was communication though, problems would pop up and they would just fester and get worse until a breaking point and I would explode and lay 5 months of issues all on him at once. But we always got through it.
I had been so unhappy these last few months. He was supposed to come and see me for my birthday but something came up. I forgave him but I had to tread carefully. I expressed to him just a few months prior that I hated my birthday because no one ever made me feel special. And then he crushed me on my birthday. I told him it was fine as long as the next time I saw him, it was him coming up to see me. Not the other way around as it was every other time. So days start to go by, then weeks, and months. I haven’t seen him. He hasn’t made one attempt at coming and visiting. He wanted to plan a make up trip for my birthday and I never heard about that again.
And then the good morning and goodnight texts were missed from time to time. I thought that was weird but again we operate on completely opposite schedules. I just assumed work got busy. Conversations became sticky and I started feeling annoyed, upset, confused. Just hurt. I thought for sure this was his attempt at breaking up and just letting me down gently. So I did the worst thing imaginable and broke up with him in my mind. I saw no effort so why should I put it in. I still answered his calls, never missed a goodnight or morning text, and told him I loved him everyday, but I was definitely colder. I didn’t need all the details anymore, I stopped asking.
And then finally after talking to all of my friends and family who collectively decided he was being a dick, everyone agreed I should break up with him. And they did not spare any of the things they disliked about him. I told them I was considering a breakup and they would check in making sure I would follow through.
And I did 3 days ago. We talked and talked and agreed our lack of communication just hurts each other. He told me he was struggling with his mental health and everything I noticed was attributed to that. He said he tried therapy but could never follow through and that led to hurting me. I told him I felt like his last priority and that I hadn’t been happy for a while. I thought we were on the same page. This cycle of explosive communication just hurt us. And then he said we’ll get through it together. And I said “together? I thought we were breaking up” nope. But he asked if I was breaking up with him and I said yes. And that was it. He said wow and I wanted to propose to you.
We hung up the phone (long distance I know that was a dick move) and I was unfollowed, unfriended, blocked in minutes. I thought we were in the same page. I apologized a million times on that call. Yesterday he texted me, said he wanted to end on a more positive note but that he was angry so bloody red angry. He hopes I move on, we both need time to heal. He has more to say but needs space until he can say it. I sent him a letter this morning which explained why I did it but also that I still love him and miss him but hope can learn to love and trust again. He said he’ll love me forever and that I’m his one that got away. I want him back. I want to take back the breakup and scrub it from our memories and have him back. We could’ve fixed it but I got scared so scared of being hurt but now his struggles were in the table and that was the next step toward fixing things. And it’s gone.
I know you all say NC is for yourself but I’m doing it for him. He needs the space but I want him back so badly. I don’t know what the letter will do or mean but it’s been sent and he rarely even checks his mail. God this hurts so bad. How do

Between war, genocide, today’s housing market, the social security you’ve paid your entire career that you may never see, political corruption at its finest. How about everything happening with Baby Reindeer, Met Gala, the list goes on.. Even McKamey Manor is still operating despite mountains of evidence law enforcement ignores (do you remember? they ‘legally’ torture people with the promise of an extreme haunted house experience and winning $20k that you have no chance of winning? allegedly.)
Reckless Ben - I shut down McKamey Manor https://youtu.be/ckX-RuoEles?si=YzatLiL8Ylrz0tqO
It took a few reckless YouTubers who banned together with a just a pure passion for a situation where they really saw potential in their odds to level what many people have been silenced about in their aspirations to bring justice to an obviously broken system.
And for $GME ?
Sony Pictures - Dumb Money available on ad free Netflix https://youtu.be/bmr8YmwnZ3w?si=IKemq9bTnEZc92Ix
Netflix - Eat The Rich: The GameStop Saga https://youtu.be/P8jtdao1zkE?si=WR-ELXnT2Yd71nSt
The banks seem to be bailed every. single. crisis.
The housing crisis https://youtu.be/IjZ-ke1kJrA?si=i6JbUkmWenOYvJQ5
https://youtu.be/vgqG3ITMv1Q?si=S7NLjBcjOhUP3MCE
The March 2023 bank failures https://youtu.be/YDwDMF_f5rM?si=rS0ShhpoyKFN3QH5
https://youtu.be/z8B9K145uTg?si=eC8uKhfun5g7cR96
The ongoing issue with social security https://youtu.be/j1Bfxxhdn6g?si=cCMFq2zgJ6_7ESY1
The controversy around voting rights https://youtu.be/yn36tY7rNUM?si=3V1f2xrBXlm5d8-F
Citizens United https://youtu.be/k5kHACjrdEY?si=QUn9yhl7UfOMHWqL
Where are you left in this?
CNBC - How much do Americans need to be comfortable? https://youtu.be/TgVtXT5Mqj0?si=Oq96lGY4LHxm8H-_
Don’t mistake this post for financial advice. Personally I just… https://youtu.be/Hp_bGdp_yhc?si=wl2IVCqZ65-eFtE3
I believe the people should make informed decisions if they so choose to participate in this market as you can so quickly be in financial ruin. If you so choose to research the recent uproar, please don’t let the following links be your only source of information. Do your own due diligence.
$GME has a seemingly healthy debt to equity ratio lowering their long term debt obligations by 11 million last quarter. Despite their decrease in revenue, they’ve lowered their operating lossed from 311.6 million to just 34.5 mil! Please understand this is unaudited as mentioned in the quarterly report. Take a look for yourself.
GameStop - GameStop Reports Fourth Quarter and Fiscal Year 2023 Results https://investor.gamestop.com/news-releases/news-release-details/gamestop-reports-fourth-quarter-and-fiscal-year-2023-results
Financial Visualizations - $GME https://finviz.com/quote.ashx?t=GME&ty=c&ta=1&p=d
Talk about GameStop’s future is a hot topic and has a new investment plan embracing video game giants future plans.
Bernard Zambonin - GameStop will likely report a profitable year for the first time since 2018 https://www.thestreet.com/memestocks/gme/gamestop-will-likely-report-a-profitable-year-for-the-first-time-since-2018#:~:text=However%2C%20the%20tide%20turned%20when,ahead%20of%20the%20previous%20projections.
Bernard Zambonin - Is Ryan Cohen steering GameStop toward a Berkshire Hathaway or Icahn Enterprises Transformation https://www.thestreet.com/memestocks/gme/is-ryan-cohen-steering-gamestop-toward-a-berkshire-hathaway-or-icahn-enterprises-transformation-
Forbes - Yes, a digital-only gaming future is coming, and we can’t stop it https://www.forbes.com/sites/mitchwallace/2023/10/13/yes-a-digital-only-gaming-future-is-coming-and-we-cant-stop-it/?sh=7b82b7673bd7
Rebekah Valentine - Phil Spencer says Xbox is ‘supportive’ of physical media amid rumors of shift to digital business https://www.ign.com/articles/phil-spencer-says-xbox-is-supportive-of-physical-media-amid-rumors-of-shift-to-digital-business
I wish you all the best of luck. https://youtu.be/Hp_bGdp_yhc?si=JVr6CQcddjDfWm_6

[EU] My book series Trackers; several years before the books take place
You do not need to be familiar with the Trackers universe to enjoy this short story. While it is set within the same universe, it stands alone as its own narrative.
***
Katherine walked down the hallway of the seventh floor in the building housing Sacramento’s FBI branch, following the directions she’d been given by the secretary downstairs. Finding the office she was looking for, she knocked on the door, though it was propped open, and walked over to the man sitting at the desk.
“Hi, Katherine Colebrook,” she introduced herself, holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“SAC Ted Hemmingway,” the FBI agent replied, standing up and shaking her hand firmly. He looked more like an FBI agent than most agents Katherine knew, which was saying something. He had a tall, solid frame, but thinning blonde hair covered his head, on its way to being a comb-over, hinting at his actual age. “How was your flight?”
“Uneventful. The perfect kind,” she replied.
“Good. So, I know you come highly recommended as someone who gets cases moving, but to be frank, I’ve never worked with a psychic. Don’t have much faith in them. I prefer old-fashioned detective work.”
“I get paid either way,” Katherine responded without skipping a beat.
Katherine had dealt with many like him before. It annoyed her, but she didn’t spend too much time dwelling on it. She assumed it had something to do with the fact that they’d been able to explain lycanthropy and vampirism and fae with recent scientific studies, but psychics were still being researched and therefore still a debated topic. Plus, they weren’t very plentiful in law enforcement, so it was rare to have the opportunity to work with one.
Hemmingway blinked at her curt response once as she took a seat before he nodded. “All right. Well this is the case file,” he said, handing a file folder over to her and sitting down behind his desk. “It was recommended by a colleague of mine that we call you in when the tally hit three victims. But as of last night, it’s four. And the two trackers that went after it were killed. It was one murder per night, so we’re thinking a newly turned wolf. The bodies are found mutilated, and the clothes were torn off.” Katherine looked over the paperwork as the agent continued to speak. “Any suspects we had were tested with silver and all have been cleared. This isn’t just a series of attacks, though; this is a serial killer.”
“You’re thinking a personal vendetta against these men, from the humiliating display of the bodies?” Katherine asked, glancing up to the agent briefly.
“Yeah. There doesn’t seem to be a connection between the victims though, so the theory is the killer’s targeting men that fit a profile.”
“What profile would that be?” Katherine asked, flipping through the file.
“White, middle-aged, wealthy.”
Katherine cocked an eyebrow at him. “Wealthy?” she echoed.
“It’s all in the bios,” he replied. “One was a lawyer, one was an accountant, two were well-off businessmen.”
Katherine nodded slowly. “All right. Who’s the lead on the case?”
Hemmingway brought his eyebrows together. “That’d be me.”
“So where’s the rest of the information?” Katherine asked.
“The rest?”
“Research. I’m sure you’ve had agents pouring over the victims’ lives to find a link between them,” she said.
Hemmingway pursed his lips for a moment before he nodded. “I’ve got a few guys still digging. They’re working out of an office two floors up.”
“I’d like to see what they’ve come up with so far,” Katherine told him.
The FBI agent sighed, standing up. “I thought you were supposed to be psychic,” he muttered, half to himself walking around his desk.
“Being psychic tells me things about the people I’m around,” she responded, slightly miffed at the comment. She followed him out of the room, the folder tucked under her arm. “Tells me you’ve been cheating on your wife for the past year.” Hemmingway stumbled to a stop, darting his eyes back toward Katherine as she continued speaking as if he hadn’t locked a heavy glare on her. “Not much about this killer. At least not yet. I’m psychic; I’m not god. And I have no interest in your marital extracurriculars. Can you please take me to your agents?”
Hemmingway hesitated, probably considering a threat of reporting her for invasion of privacy, before brushing it off and continuing down the hall to the elevators. The doors opened immediately and he selected the fifth floor.
Once they arrived, he knocked on the door before opening it, drawing the gazes of several agents spread around the room. “This is Ms. Colebrook. She’s here to consult on the case,” Hemmingway spoke, shutting the door and walking over to one of the men sitting at the table covered in boxes of files and papers. “This is Agent Lester Marconi,” he told Katherine, prompting a small wave from the agent. “He’s in charge of the research we’ve been putting together on the victims. That’s Agent Kirk Vaughn,” he continued, pointing, “and that’s Agent Stacy Genovese.”
“I was hoping to get a better look at some of the crime scene photos,” Katherine spoke, looking over the papers on the table. She walked over to a corkboard on the wall where she saw photos of the victims with their information underneath, as well as a smattering of newspaper articles.
“Those are right here,” Marconi spoke up, picking up four folders and handing them over to Katherine.
The tracker opened the first folder on an empty area of a table, spreading out the grisly photographs, looking over them with a cool detachment. She pursed her lips, staring at one of them, before opening the second folder and leafing through it. She pulled up a chair and sat down, shaking her head slowly. “This isn’t a wolf,” she said quietly.
“What?” Marconi asked, his expression becoming wary but curious.
“Just look at this,” Katherine told him, pointing at a close-up photograph of one of the wounds. “It’s all shreds, sure, but…. This isn’t a werewolf.”
“How can you tell?” Hemmingway asked.
“Experience,” she answered. “It’s understandable your other trackers mistook it for a wolf attack, but I’ve seen plenty of werewolf attacks and I’ve seen plenty of vampire attacks, and this is a vampire. I’m sure you’ve got experts to show these photos to. They’ll confirm it.”
“Why the hell would a vampire do something like this?” Marconi asked. He walked over and took a seat next to Katherine, examining the photos. “There was an immense amount of blood at the scene. No indication that any was missing.”
“Because the characteristic of primary importance here is serial killer, not vampire,” Katherine told him. “The vampire was just the weapon. The serial killer was who murdered them. And presumably that’s what the killer was counting on. It seemed obvious that the killer was a werewolf from the damage, so you didn’t consider a vampire angle.”
“So our serial killer happened to be a vampire, is what you’re saying,” Hemmingway said skeptically.
Katherine hesitated thoughtfully. “Considering the anger and recklessness involved here, there’s a good chance that this vampire’s sire matches the profile of your victims.”
“They were turned against their will, and now they’re going after humans that remind them of the one that turned them,” Marconi stated.
“It’s a good theory.” Katherine stood up. “I’ll be happy to investigate this further, but I think you’d be better off with trackers that are local, that know the area. Now that they know they’re going after a vampire, they’ll be prepared, and they should be fine.”
“That sounds good. Sorry to drag you all the way out here for no reason,” Hemmingway said, making his way toward the door. “I could’ve just emailed you the photos, I suppose.”
“I get paid either way,” Katherine said with a shrug, walking out of the room behind him, glancing at her watch.
Marconi headed out into the hallway after her. “Hey.” Katherine turned around. “Could I get your card? I’d like to have a way to get in touch with you if I ever run into a case where I need help with wound identification again.”
“Sure,” she replied, taking out the small metal case from her pocket that housed her business cards, handing one over to him. “Call for a consult on any case, day or night.”
“I will, thanks so much. If I can ask, how is it that you’re so much more experienced with tracking?” Marconi asked. “I mean, you look pretty young, and most trackers go for their certification after five years of apprenticing, and three is the minimum. How long have you been doing this?”
Katherine gave him a morose smile. “Too long,” she muttered. At that, she turned and walked away, leaving Marconi to stare after her, taking out her cell phone to call her daughter and let her know the job had ended early.

Since we finally got the new Mastery System added yesterday there have been quite a lot of complaints about different things about this system. However there is one that I have just noticed right now which hasn't been mentioned before which is extremely weird but also in some way kinda hillarious.
So since our Mastery Points have been carried over to the new System, our Champions also got increased to a Level that kinda matches their required Mastery Points, so for example my otp Kog'Maw sits at 1.35m Masterypoints which Riot converted to Mastery Level 122. While I get the critisism that M122 looks way less intimidating then M7 followed by over 1m Masterypoints, I think many people haven't realised what it actually means to hit M122 only with the new System.
So currently to Level up a Champion you require a fix amount of Masterypoints as well as Marks of Mastery which you can earn via the Seasonal Track (6 through the initial track and an infinite amount through a repeatable quest afterwards similar to event passes). You require 1 Mark of Mastery for Level 5-9 and 2 Mark of Masteries for Level 10+.
The main issue here is that you require a whopping 7 S-Ranks for a single Mark of Mastery after the initial Seasonal Track. This means in order to get another Mastery Level during a Ranked Split with a Champion which has already the Seasonal Track completed you need to get 14 S-Ranks which is just an insane amount if you ask me.
Now let's put this problem to the highest extreme by calculating how many S-Ranks it would take to get to the Level of the highest Mastery Heimerdinger player in the world who currently sits at a whopping Level 2013 with this champ after the Masterypoints to Level conversion. This means from M4 onward you require 5 Marks of Mastery to get to Level 9 and 2 Marks for every single Level after that which should be around 4013 overall. Lets say now that this new System would've existed since Season 1. That means the amount of earnable Marks of Mastery via Seasonal Track should be 96. This still leaves us with 3917 Marks of Mastery which each requires 7 S-Rank games. This means in order to hit Level 2013 with this system in a legitimate way you need to get 7x3917 or 27419 S-Ranks. I think there aren't many people in the world who've played that many League games let alone earned so many S-Ranks.
So I guess what this means is as long as Riot doesn't somehow increase the amount of Marks of Mastery you can earn, the highest Mastery players will stay the highest Level players for pretty much the rest of the games lifespan even if they would quit the game someday.

With regards to the DATAS Bursary, how long did it take for you to recieve it/ be approved for it? Reason being, I'm a bit stressed about the wait time. I've applied since January, been pre approved since early March (there were some hiccups during my pre approval process in mid February), and been waiting since then but we in mid may🥹. Idk if I'll be able to apply for my visa on time and not sure if I can/should take another loan to pay for the visa process / school deposit?

Hello,
New puppy, E, less than 15 weeks old she’s been with me for about 2 weeks adopted from local AS. Everything seems to be going well, potty training is pretty solid and crate training is progressing. Getting better about listening and jumping and demanding food.
I have a problem with what I think is demand barking for items held by my older pup. Since getting her I’ve made sure to buy things that are safe for both girls so they often end up switching toys/bully sticks/chewies and usually without issues.
Problem becomes when my old girl (P) is actively chewing on hers and the baby decides she no longer wants to keep chewing on the one she has and wants P’s, that age old tale. Excessive and very loud barking will then take place until I remove the item entirely. I’ve ignored it before for up to 20 minutes before to see how long it would go, P won’t correct her for just barking but will if E actually makes a move and E doesn’t seem to have an off switch or a threshold for stopping on her own.
Taking (via a trade) the item from P doesn’t seem fair to me and it doesn’t actually solve the problem because once the item is back in play then we are right back to it. P has some separation anxiety and while she will go to my room and chew I can’t really shut her in because of this but if I don’t shut her in then E can get to her.
What should I be doing here? I don’t want to punish P by never letting her have these things again (not really looking to punish E either) but I’m at a loss. Bully sticks have been a lifesaver with me wfh and a puppy, it is the only thing that will keep her occupied for any period of time that I’m not able to entertain her. Leaving E in the crate is also not really feasible because she is so little and we are still working through the crate fear and I am also afraid of it feeling like a punishment for E (ie sis gets a treat and I get stuck in my crate).
Thank you!

The following is a min/max strategy to get MINIMUM double the typical wisp rewards from your moonrite flora. If petal distributions follow what I observed, rewards could easily approach quadruple what you'd get from claiming the flora organically. I think doing this would cost you maybe 2 extra minutes once a week and the annoyance of having unclaimed flora in your mail.
I tested the following strategy on a character that had built up enough flora to start accumilating it in the in-game mail. In-game flora storage is FIFO (first-in-first-out) and game uses no particular logic to choose them beyond that for rites. However, players have control of the order of claiming flora from in-game mail so it IS possible to create a pipeline of curated flora sets that will greatly increase your wisp output. Tests confirmed that claiming the flora from mail in an order different from the order they were originally earned does in fact carry over into the flora pipeline.
For reference this is the in-game explanation for petals for any given rite and the corresponding rewards. Note that petal sets of the same color offer double rewards so a "rite 3" of the same color will yield 10 wisps at once which is a lot of dungeons I didn't have to spam!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1195002615289880586/1237962537128165458/image0.jpg?ex=66477135&is=66461fb5&hm=9e2c8899ddd9fe5e5d59c92aa895bf4e47d7550937ec3983ba5c48e663c8bed9&
The steps are as follows:

1. Stack up flora until it caps at 99 (the 5 you see in the UI plus 99 storage) and then game starts throwing overflow beyond this into mail which includes an image that indicates the color and number of petals.
2. Build up an excess of flora in your mail to the point where you can get at least one "ideal" set of 5 flora for a "rite 3". Ideal combination would be exactly 20 petals of same color.
3. Do one rite from your ungroomed stash which should bring you to 94 stored flora from 99.
4. Claim one junky flora (1 petal, doesn't matter what color) to get yourself to 95. this will even out the numbers so the next 5 in become a full set when it's eventually their turn. NOTE: This part is VERY important because if you're off by one then your future flora sets will NOT be as expected and this will have been a big waste many weeks in the making.
5. Claim 4 out of the 5 pieces of the "ideal" set you identified in step 2 while making note of the 5th piece for future reference.
6. When you are able to make another ideal "rite 3" set, run a rite and then claim the piece you set aside in step 5 and then claim 4 of the new ideal set to get yourself back up to 99 stored flora. The last piece of the new set will become the "reserve" piece to use next from mail.
7. Repeat step 6 if possible as you continue to build up flora but eventually this won't be possible as you'll end up with excess small flora. Look for ways to also queue up ideal "rite 1" and "rite 2" sets of same color. That would be sets totaling 5 and 15 petals respectively from the same color. How much you min/max this will depend on how much of your mail space you're willing to dedicate to flora. I personally think I'll have 10-40 flora mail at any given moment and I'll check for viable combos about once a week.
8. It will take a long time for this to pay off but once it starts paying off you'll be getting double rewards every single rite PLUS benefit of min-maxed petal use which increases reward even further over how the game does it naturally.

As a random aside this is the flora ordering number once it finally makes it into the end of the pipe: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1195002615289880586/1240751474313793556/Screenshot_2024-05-16_144623.png?ex=6647b35b&is=664661db&hm=60fdcacdf6a5029d9a5c0c053e5a82c9050dd507027d6815e02dcdf2d1271196&

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

Sorry it's so late this week. I'm an ex Seoul Dynasty player as well and I was a bit too busy so I kind of just listened to all for it and then got way too busy for a few days with work. Here's the loose translations for episode 5 of Overwatch University. Rush had to leave very early on due to Internet issues and Moon who was watching at the time volunteered to help as a lot of the talk was in regards to the Seoul vs Shanghai Rivalry anyways so having both POVs was insightful
Topic 1 Intros and Seoul Dynasty Season 1
Aid: Have you seen Overwatch University given you have been invited by NineK
Tobi: Not really. I've skimmed around and seen pieces of the Crusty interview and Moon interview.
Aid: We're going to go over Tobis lengthy career as we were both pros
NineK: Isn't it kind of disrespectful to Tobi for you to group him up with you?
Aid: I had a lot of talent I just got cursed with a shit Coach like you NineK right Tobi?
Tobi: True
Aid: See two instances of your failures
NineK: What does that make the people who won under me? You two must've been the problem.
Aid: (pulled up Seoul Dynasty s1 roster and Tobi just explains who all of them were) Honestly you guys didn't do amazing right?
Tobi: No we were bad we went 7-3, 7-3, 5-5, and then 3-7. Just mid
NineK: Did you feel in preseason scrims you were in trouble?
Tobi: No I didn't we did very well even in the preseason games we won everything.
Rush: There any problems we didn't know about you can tell us?
Tobi: I can tell all the potential members we could've had though. Carpe, Fury, Gesture, Jjonak
NineK: Wow you started and ended with Seoul now that I think about it.
Aid: So we heard lots of rumors about Seoul but I heard you had unique member rotations where only allowing certain players for certain stages?
Tobi: If I'm clarifying a bit the split rosters was more of a season 2 decision with an A team and B team where eventually the roster mixed together. Biggest issue was the coaches couldn't agree. So sometimes they would just take turns like coach A gets to decide today then coach B gets to decide what to do and then coach c.
NineK: I heard you basically did that with a new coach per stage.
Rush: Who was your head coach?
Tobi: 4 coaches + extras
Aid: How did you decide who played what?
Tobi: Honestly the meta was so hard locked at the time the biggest issue was the coaches disagreed how we should play and it was very confusing how we should do it. We basically went back and forth with a coach of the day deciding what we did.
NineK: Too many games too. That's how Shanghai went 0-40 cause there was way too much. Not to mention no one wanted to scrim them cause it's not like you wanted to be their first victory either.
Tobi: We scrimmed them a bit
NineK: Wow you're nice people.
Tobi: They've invited us over at times and made food for us too.
Rush: Yeah there's pictures of it.
NineK: Cause of the Korean members?
Tobi: No this was way before that
NineK: Wow so kind. Isn't it cause your results weren't good either?
Tobi: Uhhh... Where were you in season 1?
NineK: I came in late. Stage 3. Season 1 was fun though
Aid: Honestly getting dragged back and forth by your coaches must be stressful. As a player there has got to be times when you do something one way and think to yourself why the heck does he want me to do it this way instead
NineK: Also they'd probably never had that many members to work with either since they just added players to Lunatic Hai
Tobi: True. We had 11 starting members and then acquired Gambler when I was having wrist issues. Then we lost another member and went back to 11. I truly believe having 12 members was so pointless
NineK: I agree like it's good if you can make it work but if you don't it just makes people feel awful. I don't know why people insisted so much on large rosters.
Tobi: Lots of people lots of possibilities I guess?
Rush: Also this is when OWL wanted to copy traditional sports so they got a bunch of players on their rosters
Tobi: They did invest more in OWL back then
NineK: They were really the team designed to win everything weren't they?
Rush: I remember an article saying they had an 80% chance of winning
NineK: People don't get how hard this time was cause of the random Mercy meta. Honestly probably wouldn't have been this bad for Seoul if patches came out like they do now
Tobi: Meta was unfavorable sure but we just played poorly to be honest
NineK: Wow so honest very cool
Topic 2: Ryujekong
Aid: Everyone was so confused by Ryujehong on Tank I want to hear what happened
Tobi: Honestly it's been so long I don't remember this time very well. I also wasn't even scrimming or playing at the time because of my wrist. I was basically just going to the doctor. We had kuki who for reasons was having troubles so he stopped playing and then Miro was having a lot of struggles at the time as well with how the meta was playing. It's mostly because of the comms cause obviously Miro had better mechanics Jehong sucks at primaling too but he would take space well and call out commands for the team to help
Aid: How did your scrims go?
Tobi: I don't remember
NineK: He can't help but not remember there were only scrims allowed at the practice facilities at the time and kids that were ill like him straight up just didn't even go. There were set times
Aid: So this isn't Jehongs main position and he was forced to tank must have been hard.
NineK & Rush: Must be
Tobi: It absolutely was. Imagine how sorry he felt to Miro. He was a support replacing Miro. If he fails not only does he get ridiculed for it but people slander Miro for being replaced by a tank of this caliber he felt very burdened feeling sorry that Miro might get insulted more than he did
NineK: I remember at the time a lot of people said Jehong had a bad Zenyatta as well but I thought it was good
Aid: Yeah I don't really see how he was particularly bad
NineK: Honestly the way things were he was probably just getting compared to Jjonak who was a beast at the time. The flame for Jehong was insane at the time
Aid: I remember his team would just hyper pocket Jjonak and have him just frag. NYXL were so defensive and good at pocketing.
NineK: In another way of seeing things that playstyle not being meta anymore might be why NYXL couldn't hack it in finals.
(Watching VOD of Seoul vs London)
NineK: Damn Munchkin fucking sucked at Tracer
Rush: Wait why is Fleta playing Widow?
Tobi: He was really good at Widow
NineK: He was
Rush: Then what is Munchkin good at
NineK: Just Cassidy Soldier. But Widow was so broken back then
Aid: Monkey could never catch her cause of her grapple cooldown
NineK: Nearly all the monkeys sucked at primal dribbling too. If a Mercy pocketed her she never died either. Who was good then again? Carpe...
Tobi: Linkzr Surefour Pine
Aid: Wow such names from my memories
NineK: Gesture Fury were way too good at Monkey D.va. Honestly there's so much shit about London I wanna expose
Aid: Bring Profit
NineK: I'll get Rascal easily. Wow Bdosin looks so young here what the he'll.
Topic 3: End of Season 2 VOD of Jehong Tobi Crying Post Elimination to Spark
Aid: I didn't know this happened at the time but NineK mentioned this happened can you explain?
Tobi: At the time role lock got forced and doomfist hanzo reaper were good. At the time we were kind of really good in scrims but lost to a team in tournament we never lost too in scrims. Jehong was already out there crying and I didn't want to come out and Danny kept forcing me to come out even though I said I didn't want too. But I was afraid the broadcast would get delayed or ruined cause of me so I was forced to.
Ninek: At the time we were preparing for our game up right after them but our GM was so fuxking angry at the time like how could you force them to do this right after they lost he complained a lot to Blizzard. Cause just imagine, thank God you brought out two veterans and media trained players. Imagine if you brought out complete noobies if it was this hard for these 2 veterans imagine what they might let slip on a broadcast when emotions are this high. This is also right after their season ended and they were officially eliminated.
Rush: From Blizzards POV these 2 were icons of the game and they probably felt like they could really show the importance and feelings toward this game to the audience watching
NineK: But like RIGHT after they lost is insane to me. Like let them process instead of fucking ambushing them as they're coming down from the stage.
Rush: But it's important cause this is when they're at the peak of the emotions being felt so I get it.
NineK: There's actually so many players who went down that stage to the hallways down crying
Aid: Of course they work hard and it didn't work.
Tobi: When we scrimmed we only lost to 1 team ever. Shock. We beat Vancouver NYXL Spark everyone else.
NineK: Wow so strong
Tobi: But in the end we just lost to Spark
NineK: I can say this now but we scrimmed Hangzhou a lot at this time. They didn't have a coach we were their coaches. Literally they would scrim us and copy us the next day in games. Since GOATs they basically decided they couldn't beat us so they copied our opening strats positioning skill usage everything. That's why they did decent
Aid: So Seoul lost cause of you
Tobi: We regretted a lot because of some of our microplays. There was a thing when double shield was first happening where Moria sprays her heals on the tanks right? The enemy Sigmas could shoot their shield out behind the Orisa to block the heals. And we thought this was possible but went and said it wasn't going to be a difference maker and ignored it
NineK: Wait we were doing that since day 1 lol
Tobi: We lost to Spark because of that. We felt awful cause this is something we thought could happen but ignored. At the time Marvel was our Sigma and Michelle who was a traditional offtank was forced on Orisa. We had Fissure who was good at Orisa who retired so we had no Orisas.
Aid: Timings always been off for Seoul I guess
NineK: No wonder you felt so many emotions. I was so sad seeing this. Seoul was honestly so good in season 2 but always somehow was just one step short. It hurt my heart to see them.
Aid: Players don't like to cry like that so they have to have been feeling so much to cry like this
Topic 4: Seoul vs Shanghai
Aid: We had Moon and he said some stuff on this we were all in the West and we would just see the results but this May Melee where you were up 3-0 and got reverse swept... your stories about this?
Tobi: We didn't get ahead of ourselves Shanghai was always good at Gibraltr and we thought we would lose this map but win the rest for a 4-1. I'm not sure how we lost Busan though
Tobi: We won a lot with our double shield
Rush: Fearless wasn't supposed to play
Aid: Fearless told me at the time he didn't get to scrim even once and then came in and won everything
NineK: Wow
Aid: Yeah no scrims at all
NineK: Wait Tobi why us Bdosin on Brig and you on Baptiste?
Tobi: I played the Baptiste for Seoul at the time cause Bdosin fucking sucked at Bap. This mother fucker could never use his abilities properly. He must've gotten sick in the head watching Viol2t play or something cause whenever he had cooldowns he would be on some high ground alone shooting and scream "Aghhh" and die off on his own
NineK: I remember now it wasn't super locked who played what because no one had Briggitte experience at the time
Tobi: Also if this happened there would be cases where in double shield mirror your Brig had to swap to Zenyatta but at the time Gesture had too many complaints about coordinating his pulls with Bdosin
NineK: I have no idea how Seoul lost this right now
Tobi: There's no absolutes in Overwatch. But the only thing I remember is our loss in Junkertown
Aid: For Kings Row I remember the Felta carry with Widow this was probably in all of those OWL top 5 highlights. I still can't believe how far Shnghai got in Junkertown though
NineK: Wow even Fearless is playing Orisa here
Tobi: That's why we thought we would win here. It's such a double tank focused map. Fits was randomly flanked high on the left and I td him to get down but he died on our A defense.
NineK: Wow you guys got out ult cycled like crazy
Rush: The Torbjorn choice here leaves a lot to be desired
NineK: I agree
Aid: So then there is that little celebration Shanghai did how did you feel
Tobi: Can I curse?
NineK: Seoul is just so ugh... like back in season 2 they beat New York during GOATs who was supposed to be top 2 but Seould couldn't take those next steps to greatness here as well. There are those super important games that once you win you just go on a roll and Seoul never got to do it
Tobi: I really hated losing to Shanghai cause I could've been on the team.
NineK: Really?
Tobi: Yeah I received offers from them on 3 separate occasions but ended up choosing Seoul. I wanted to believe I made the right choice so I wanted to win
Topic 5: Tobi Happy. Season 3
Aid: There's this gif of you happy after a win
NineK: It's so funny you took your glasses off before cheering
Tobi: At the time we lost to Shanghai so often but then finally beat them
NineK: The thing is Seoul was lucky cause they actually shouldn't have been in the season 3 finals originally.
Rush: Washington was the biggest offender
NineK: Off memory it felt like a "everyone suffered because of COVID so everyone gets a chance" thing
Tobi: But the thing to note is we did well in the West before we were forced to go to Korea and beat Glads and Valiant. We won like all of our scrims at the time.
NineK: Fine I'll give you that
Rush: Seoul was honestly really good during the online era
Aid: What did you think of the Hog meta?
Tobi: I was a huge doubter. Like at the time it was Zarya Hog or Sigma Hog. It just had none of the fundamentals of Overwatch I was used to seeing. I just couldn't believe it.
NineK: Tobis a purist "where do you come from thinking Hog could ever be a main tank"
Tobi: His ability to take space was unreal at the time. But Gesture was really into it and Wizardhyeong pushed for it
Aid: Gesture was a really good Hog though
NineK: All the guys there had good Hogs. Gesture Super Smurf Fearless were all good at it
Rush: But Shanghai didn't play it
NineK: I don't know Shanghais reasoning but I know Shock played how they did cause Viol2t fucking sucked at Ana lol. The thing is he did win with it but his scrim results as Ana was terrible
Rush: Viol2t Ana is known in the community as weaker though
NineK: But he doesn't think so
Tobi: I heard it got to the point where Crusty said he would do better if he played than Viol2t
NineK: That's why Architect played it for a bit. They had Twilight but I have no idea why they didn't use him more. I don't know how much I should say when there's no Shock rep from the time here but as far as I Know Super wasn't supposed to play. Smurf was but he didn't fit with his playstyle and the team well enough at the time
Tobi: If I have to point out regrets in the Shock game it was not using Zenyatta on Busan
NineK: But shouldn't you playing something other than the Ashe?
Tobi: No this was when Ashe was super broken and Profit was really good at her
Aid: The more I see it the more I really feel regrets about Seouls performances
NineK: That's what I've been saying Seoul was almost never bad and had huge upside a lot for different points in time. Honestly they're Asia's Philly Fusion
Tobi: You know how it is NineK if one thing changed with your Hotba strategy or Rascal not waking the monkey
NineK: I had a team with Tobi and Carpe and caught the 2nd place curse
Tobi: Woah why are you blaming me I've won plenty.
NineK: I did too before meeting you guys
Tobi: Then it's Carpes fault
NineK: I guess it is lol
Aid: At this point we need to have Carpe on to defend himself
NineK: We're going to go watch his games this Saturday
Tobi: The Hollwood bug pissed me off too
(Vod review where Tobi popped Valkyrie in spawn and the D.va bomb from Choi killed Tobi in the respawn room) this and Viol2t living at 1 health
Aid: Wow you guys are just destined to not win that day
Tobi: It was everything against us honestly
NineK: Honestly in the regular Hog comps Seoul and Dhock were about even but Seoul couldn't beat Shocks Hog and Ball Comp
Tobi: I actually wanted to go Numbani here instead of Hollywood
NineK: I remember at this time Choihyobin was getting gapped by Hanbin a bit and all of us joked his time was over and Hanbin would replace him as the new offtank goat
NineK: I remember at this time Shock felt Bdosin was scarier. They took more maps with him. Even though they defended better with Creative
Tobi: I think at the time he wasn't getting too much scrim time so he just said to let Creative play
Topic 6 Coach Tobi
Aid: You came back after being a player for Fusion to being Head Coach of Seoul Dynasty how was that for you?
Tobi: I kind of just stopped feeling the desire to compete like "I definitely can still compete mechanically but guess it might just not work out from here"
Tobi: Was worried that newer players he hadn't yet played with wouldn't follow his leadership well
Aid: So who was the player who least listened to you
Tobi: Everyone below me followed very well
Aid: So did you work well with the other coaches given it was mentioned there were previously conflicting visions?
Tobi: Oh these people were later coaches and we had very good talks together and worked well together
NineK: Since we wanna wait for our other guest when we talk about the next topic let's move on and talk about our time together in Fusion
Tobi: There were a lot of regrets weren't there?
NineK: The biggest problem for me was I didn't know we would be playing in Korea when I made the roster and heard it from someone from another team.
NineK: I felt sorry to Carpe for that. He's like Seoul where certain key moments not working out it feels like de-railed everything for him.
Aid: What did you think when you joined and first got to know NineK?
Tobi: When I joined I did so because I heard so much good stuff about him. Like he just knows a lot about Overwatch so I was curious about him and learned a lot. There's Crusty NineK Moon and Rush that are the coaches that are very well talked about that I was curious about. I got to meet NineK and Wow I'd never believed someone could get so angry over this game he would slam on the desk yelling while coaching. But the thing was while doing that he would always be right about what he's saying
Topic 7: Moon Joins
(Moon joins the podcast because Rush was lagging out)
NineK: So is it true you sent offers to Tobi
Moon: I guess I should say hi first. My name is Coach Moon who tried to get Tobi every year but failed.
NineK: I tried that with Fury
Aid: Is one of the reasons you wanted to beat Seoul no matter what because you didn't get to recruit Tobi?
Moon: No actually around that time I got in a lot of trouble with my wife. She said I talked to Tobi more than her. This was before we signed LeeJaeGon
Tobi: In 2020 season Shanghai actually had a lot of players I wanted to play with. Fleta Lip and such. As well as just giving a better offer out right.
NineK: Void too.
Tobi: Yeah always keeps contact with him too. But I really wanted to run it back with Ryujehong one last time because of the regrets of our last 2 seasons together to redeem ourselves. But he ended up choosing Vancouver and as I ended up wanting to go to Shanghai instead, they ended up already getting LeeJaeGon instead
Aid: Man the timing has just never worked out for Tobi
NineK: When he was on Fusion with me he used to always joke "damn if I was on Shanghai at least I could've been winning while benched"
Moon: So at the time LeeJaeGon and Tobi were my first choices but LJG told me he didn't want to join because he wanted to go to Mayhem with other Runaway members and then Tobi was looking at Seoul so I almost ended up with no one. But eventually LeeJaeGon chose us and tobi reached out the day after that.
NineK: So you regret not getting Tobi?
Moon: I mean you can't argue this given our results...
Tobi: They did so well
NineK: Tobi would've made the team fun for you though. That season was really bad for us but we had a lot of fun
Topic 8: Seoul vs Shanghai KickOff Clash
Aid: It looked like Seoul was happier beating Shanghai in winners finals than beating Philly in finals
Moon: The thing was the situation was so terrible for us at this time. We were quarantined with nothing.
Tobi: This team was the one we wanted to beat more than anyone else. It's why Profit was crying at the end of it all.
Moon: I will say their strats against us were very good they deserved the win regardless of what circumstances we had
Tobi: This gave me PTSD cause there was a moment when we were reverse swept in May Melee where Bdosin got pulsed with Rally. I told Vindsim no matter what to hold your shield up when he has it and in this one moment in the VOD he got stuck by fleta but thankfully Profit clutched
NineK: I will say when we got to the Hawaii LAN Shock picked you guys at Shanghai and I'll just say I didn't want to pick you.
Aid: Ahh it was the eternal rivals (implying Crusty chose Shanghai for revenge)
Moon: This time was really tough for us and we had a bunch of retirements after this. I think we thought more about what we would get to eat the next day or when we would be able to go to a Koreatown for the food we missed
NineK: It was so long
Moon: Honestly it was the hardest times for us.
NineK: It was really tough for us as well lockdown was so long.
Moon: I honestly don't want to hear lockdown complaints from anyone around me. If we were offline and I told you our horror stories everyone here would cry.
NineK: I mean everyone suffered but this sounds like military stories lol. Like everyone thinks they had it the hardest. Anyways Tobi tell us how you did things that led to that win.
Tobi: So you know there are things a lot of us say behind the scenes about coaches right? Like this guy is more of just a caretaker or this guy is more just strategies but I really wanted to be the coach who wouldn't have players feel bad I was their Coach. It's why I asked for a lot of help from previous coaches I worked under. I wanted all of my least favorite aspects of coaches I've seen in the past to not be things my players go through I let them all speak casually to me so they wouldn't be uncomfortable with me
NineK: Moon has the opposite take. He said his players can never act chummy with him and will always refer to him as coach
Tobi: My feelings were that I had previously worked with a lot of these players in the past so it feels okay
(VOD shows Seoul winning Kick off Clash 4-0 over Philly Fusion
NineK: Oh Carpes expression came out (literally half covered in shadows)
Aid: I didn't want to become a useless coach. Every explayer wants to be the opposite of the coaches they hated
Tobi: When I first won I was so happy to finally get a star under the Seoul Dynasty banner for Gen G.
NineK: I thought at the time though "all that for a stage win?"
Aid: We were like Wow they really are happy for a stage win
Moon: Well it was their first win of course they're happy and they beat us to do it
NineK: As coaches we can tell whether they just got lucky or actually were prepared. Poor Carpe though
Topic 9: Q & A
Aid: If you became a coach again and had to form a team which players would you want?
Moon: Wait but isn't the answer for those year very obvious?
Tobi: Yeah just erase Moons name and put me in
NineK: Then mix and match a bit
Tobi: Smurf Stalk3r Lip Chorong seems very good and then Shu
NineK: That's basically Crazy Raccoons. I'll just say this is cause he doesn't watch it
Tobi: I watched all the big games actuall
Moon: If he was really keeping up with the scene wouldn't he have picked Donghak?
Aid: If Gen G or T1 asked you to coach or team up with Ryujehong again for OWCS?
Tobi: I already got an offer to play with them and said no
Aid: Oh really why?
Tobi: Cause I knew what would happen lol. The kids nowadays level of play is so high
NineK: Just for fun I guess
Tobi: Well yeah if I streamed it and stuff sure but the team even with me or without wouldn't have done well
Moon: Honestly the player gap between the experienced old guard and the new is high right now but you'd hope it would get closer by next year
NineK: More than player gaps I'd rather be worried about the coaching level. It's really just Moon Crusty Rush again. Tobi isn't coaching anymore either... so tobi this is to say coach again please.
Tobi: I did get an offer but the timing didn't work out.
Aid: Always the timing
Tobi: Before Falcons formed I think it could've worked but Smurf was gone and all the teams were formed and then I got the call and was a decent offer. But the timing was bad.
Moon: Where the players weren't available anymore. But just swipe them from their teams
Tobi: But I didn't wanna steal players with offers of contracts
Moon: Why not?
NineK: The difference between a dirty person and clean person
Moon: But the thing is they don't have contracts
NineK: Yeah wait they definitely would want money
Moon: That's my point he could've offered stability to more players in the scene
NineK: Then you are at fault Tobi
Tobi: There was a condition though. The org really wanted to win and asked if I could form a team to win.
Moon: Oh that would be hard (smiling in Crazy Raccoons)
NineK & Aid: (dies of laughter at the humble brag)
Moon: I did work really hard to swipe the good players.
NineK: Was it a foreign org?
Tobi: Yeah it was
Moon: I wish more teams came into the space
NineK: If tobi even at least coached Genesis they would've been better
Tobi: I did get that offer but said no
NineK: Didn't want to work for bottom feeder teams?
Tobi: Well I wasn't close with any of the players either
NineK: You shouldve just gone to orga offering up super teams and swiped like Moon did.
Moon: I just had a skeleton crew formed and did mine
NineK: Whatever it was it's just kind of sad Tobi isn't coaching actively right now is all
NineK: I like this question. If Coach Tobi could speak to player Tobi of the past what would you say to them?
Tobi: Probably to be sure of yourself and confident in your play and your decision. I used to basically fly to whoever screamed for help no matter who was in a bad position trying to help. I definitely learned afterwards and worked really hard to improve my Mercy
NineK: I remember at that time Yobi worked really hard to improve his Mercy and it was really good I agree. It's sad to hear given how things went for Seoul but it is a cool answer
Aid: ProFits from friend POV to players POV
Tobi: Profit whether as a friend or player was a great and reliable friend. Fits was the hassle
Aid: How so?
Tobi: Never listening always whining just a big baby. Cute little brother while Profit was a reliable friend
(Just chatting while looking for interesting questions)
Moon: I'm saying this now but Shanghai starting at 0-40 we worked so hard to hit that 40-40 and it took so long. We won so much and still took a while
NineK: A fun thing to ask whenever we have an ex-player is have they ever felt like watching a scrim they would do better?
Tobi: I have scrimmed actually. Vindaim was ill and in the hospital so I played. We won.
Ninek: You say yes to this question if you win the scrims if you lost you would say it didn't happen
Tobi: True
Tobi: Here's one about Seoul I like. Why did you when you had LeeSooMin and Krillin make Krillin a main support? The answer is Krillin said during Washington he got to try a bunch of heroes and LeeSooMin was pretty decent at Kirik at the time. I had worked one year with Vindaim and it was good for us so I hoped for the same to happen. The initial meta was good for us too until we hit the Sombra meta
NineK: I think the only ones happy to hit the Sombra meta was Atlanta
Moon: (struggling to find a good question when smurf comments in chat) Yo Smurf don't you need to go practice right now?
Moon: Sorry that was a joke
NineK: Oh I like that one
Tobi: So there's a question about our 2023 roster and I wanted to talk about it. Right after 2022 going into 2023 was to keep Smurf Profit then get Lip who was receiving some offers at the time keep Vindaim and get Twilight. This would've been my personal choice if I had the money to form my team but everyone ran out of money. I even had back ups for everyone but like Bernar planned but everything fell through
Moon: Do you regret picking up Void?
Tobi: No I don't
NineK: What about losing to former players of yours and stuff?
Moon: Want me to call Void and ask him what it felt like losing to the Fleta Tank?
NineK: Oh my god that sounds so good
Tobi: I think he's working right now
Moon: Oh that's right he would be working right now
NineK: Man I'm so curious. I hate losing to my former players
NineK: Wanted to know if back in OW1 you had a team fully built around you who would it be and would you win?
Tobi: Honestly looking at my history I'm kind of bad at forming teams lol. Honestly I could've been on NYXL in season 1 as well.
NineK: Wow.
Moon: I can say one thing. I've literally walked to his house before. He thought a lot about it. Like I didn't think it should be this hard a decision when I was so convincing.
Tobi: I just really wanted to run it back with Jehong one last time and Fearless wasn't in the planned roster at the time either.
Moon: True it was very early on in the team formation
Tobi: Yeah it's regrettable isn't it?
NineK: Tobi does make bad choices that's why he joined Fusion under me
Tobi: Timing worked for that time period though
NineK: Alright back to the question make your super team only caveat is you can't change them and have to run them seasons 1 through 6
Tobi: To be happily teamed with them Carpe Profit Gesture Fury...
NineK: Wait a second Ryujehong isn't being brought up
Tobi: We are excluding him from this but honestly there's way too many good flex supports so I don't know. Shu was really good but Viol2t is also nah just Shu.
NineK: Shu is fun and good.
Tobi: He's good at like everything. Even since season 2 when I'd play Mercy he would shoot me so much more than everyone else as Ana
NineK: When you went game 5 against MightyAOD any players that stood out to you?
Tobi: Did we go game 5 against MightyAOD? I genuinely can't remember the Lunatic Hai games that well outside of just like finals games anymore. I'm sorry but it's been years.
Moon: Ooh how did you feel about Prophet being on your team and then once he was dropped and went to 02Blast losing to him?
Tobi: He was good but the thing is whatever we put him on just didn't fit with how the team played and the Sombra meta was at its peak as well. We were tired and he was tired cause it just wasn't the best fit for either of us. I wanted him to keep doing well so I could be confident it was just a mismatch and that my scouting ability was still good. But then the meta swapped to like Widow Hanzo.
Moon: Oh wait so once again it's a choice Tobi made he regrets...
Tobi: Well no technically in the last game versus them we did win to be fair. Honestly though when he did win damn I felt low key a little bit upset/betrayed
NineK: Did you see him do the X on the Dynasty symbol spray?
Tobi: I didn't mind that all the players do that
NineK: Hears something funny for Moon to answer. " I heard Lip purposefully made sure not to wear the Fusion skins for Asia Finals is it true"
Moon: I specifically checked his PC to make sure he wasn't wearing it "Are you wearing a Fusion skin or not? Yes or no."
NineK: Wow you check their PCs?
Moon: Yeah I made sure none of them wore Fusion skins for Asia Finals
Tobi: Carpe might need to come on here at this point
Moon: I don't believe in jinxes like this but my players do so I did it just so they don't have to think for a second there is some Fusion curse that will make them lose
Tobi: Like you don't want unnecessary factors creeping into their minds
Moon: Exactly
NineK: Did you have any of those jinxes or lucky charms as a player?
Tobi: During Lunatic Hai I would on game days only eat noodle dishes and then we would win. I'd wear the same pair of socks for all the big games as well. But then I went to the League and kept losing and none of that stuff applied anymore
Moon: Yeah I don't believe in it as a supernatural force but whatever makes people more confident the better
(Randomly scrolling for questions)
Moon: I really did wanna try coaching Dynasty once.
Tobi: Why?
Moon: You know as a Korean it was kind of sad seeing the Korean team under perform I wanted to go there after my contract with Shanghai ended and try to get them a big win
Tobi: I see
Moon: Now that I'm thinking about it I never got an offer from Seoul ever
NineK: Really? I think I got an offer from Seoul basically every year since 2019
Moon: Oh one thing I really wanted to ask was how you beat the Infernal (Dynasty vs Infernal early 2023 when Infernal scrimbux was way better than everyone else)
Tobi: Oh that? They just played poorly.
Moon: I was so curious cause they were supposed to be so good
Tobi: Yeah they must have been nervous or something we didn't win cause we were better they were just worse that day.
NineK: When Tobi first joined Fusion he actually beat Dynasty and was so happy about it. He was such a good player to have he was on the bench for quite a while initially but kept his mental up and was a very good teammate for us.
Final Words
Tobi: I'm not actually retired from coaching. I still keep up with the League and love the game. I hope Overwatch keeps growing and I want everyone to know I'm not gone just yet. If there's a chance I'm ready whenever
NineK: Honestly I will say a lot of Overwatch kids have this issue not just Tobi where they hope opportunity will fall on their laps.
Tobi: I'll agree. It was my first time doing this stuff and I had no idea what the scene was going to be like.
Moon: I was very proactive and quick about it for sure
NineK: Do you have any team you'd like to join? Quickly before we end the podcast appeal to Moon for a job
Tobi: Well if you just give me the call I'm ready
Moon: Well one thing I will note when Tobi was talking about coaches he asked for advice on being a coach he didn't contact me at all? Even though we talked for hours?
Tobi: I only contacted the people I actually worked under. I didn't want to bother everyone with my questions. It's not like I could expect other coaches that don't know me as well would divulge their secrets
Moon: I would've. I think it would have been very cool if you asked for my help
Tobi: Well to be fair before you joined I did say Crusty NineK Moon and Rush were the coaches I really wanted to try working with
NineK: It's not too late Tobi he's here now
Aid: Anyways final thoughts from you Tobi?
Tobi: It's been a while since I got to see fans of Overwatch and sit down with fellow coaches. I hope you all keep supporting Overwatch University and myself in the future.
NineK and Aid: Thank you to Moon as well for helping us last minute.
Moon: It's no problem I saw Tobis face and wanted to join right away.

In desperate need of advice please read!
for some context: Me and my bf are medium distance, we see each other once a week on the weekends, this is tough but we get through it and we’ve been together for a year and 8 months. Me and him are both going through exams rn so we’ve been seeing each other less and i feel like as a whole our relationship is a little on the rocks. I’m his first girlfriend and he’s my first boyfriend, i feel like this is a big reason why i’m having the struggles i am.
the current situation is i feel like he doesn’t validate my emotions all the time. some of the time he does but today for instance, i told him in a respectful way that i felt sad that he kept going on about exam questions and answers since it was making me feel worse about how i did. he proceeded to tell me that no one was making me feel bad and that im being a baby. i called him and said i can’t be spoken to like that and that i would leave him if he can’t at least validate my emotions. in hindsight i probably shouldn’t have said that since i don’t want to create divides between us and i want us to be a team. however he responded saying he doesn’t care and that i should just do it. i know this sounds really bad and it is, however this is all on text which can be misunderstood and i know him and i promise you i know that he loves me so much and i know he plans on being with me long term and he wants me to be his wife since he is religious and doesn’t go from girlfriend to girlfriend. i’m wondering if he is just stressed from exam season and also doesn’t feel connected to me since we haven’t seen each other in weeks now, and is taking all that out on me, in that case i would stay with him. i know it’s wrong the way he treated me but i don’t think it’s worthy to break up in this scenario. or maybe i should just believe his actions and his words and just break up with him and that it’s maybe the best. i just really don’t know what the right thing to do is. i love him and he’s perfect towards me except these blips that he occasionally has like the situation i described, however i will listen to any advice with open ears and am not closed off to being told things i maybe don’t want to hear. Thank you if you read this far, i appreciate any advice given to me.

I am 24 male with a 23 female. I am turning 25 in a few weeks I have been in a relationship since 18 since the end of 2020 with my partner who helped with some bad times… when I say bad times I mean living with my mum who had an abusive boyfriend since I was 13 years old thankfully since I turned 18 I decided to move in with dad since due to the angry emotions I would feel towards my mums bf thankfully they would seperate not to long after ( my mum suffered black eyes and broken fingers - I moved in with my dads shared accommodation - anyways the real reason I am posting this I have had sex with my partner probs under 10 times since moving to our home (since end of 2020) She has been on medication for the anxiety/depression for more than the last few years she has been taken medication - I feel no affection and do not feel loved from My partner- I.e no hugs or kisses I feel more than a close friend than a lover we use to make love or show affection almost every day or Once a week and I feel I need a partner who Loves me and shows affection as I feel like I am not a boyfriend. in the last few years I have barely been kissed/hugged or shown the way i feel should feel from a partner - previously in the first 2 years of the relationship I felt loved - i do love my girlfriend very much but I also feel I cannot live like this the rest of my life we have a dog of 3 years of age (golden retirever and house) (3 years mortgage in England) - which I am very blessed to have as I grew up poor with council housing if you can call it that) I am conflict between my loyalty to my partner and I do still I have love for her even tho I feel i deserve someone who can give me affection i am scared to end things as I feel so blessed with The life I have… a couple years ago after a year in our house I almost ended things due to the way she treated me ( I stayed at my nans for a more than month for space) the way she treated me like the way she spoke to me and how she was so controlling just before she was on anxiety medication when I started seeing my friends more it was worst Time… I had seen her headbutting our front door very badly and went missing for a whole day which I had to call her parents for which I could i could not deal with myself. The worst example I can say was when I went to play tennis with my grandad who was 70+ (before we had a house/mortgage at the time she would throw a strop and get in a mood with me the worst times before we had a house - when we had our own house and I realised I was deprived from my friends that I would have to deal with someone who would not talk to me for almost more than a few than days until I engage the conversation what was wrong then I would get her shouting at me then would have to deal with her being upset and saying please dont leave me…. Since all the drama and since all the anxiety medication things have been better more than a year and also since wanting to see my friends - however I feel like more than a room mate than a boyfriend - I feel I deserve someone who loves me and care for me and shows me affection and love on a daily basis- I am really stuck and confused if I should leave - I am Very conflicted on what to do and what is best for me and her I love her loads and she had helped through dark times but I am not sure what is the best for my future or my kids… please do help I have these feelings of leaving my partner for more than a couple years and have of struggled on what the best action to take… love & peace whoever who is reading this!

I've recently completed my third year of computer engineering at UofT, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the courses I've taken. I hope this will be beneficial to incoming first, second, and third-year engineering students. My area of depth is 6 (Software) and my areas of breadth are 4 (Control) and 5 (Computer hardware/networks).
Difficulty: How hard it was to comprehend course material and/or complete practice problems accurately. Keep in mind that difficulty is subjective but I tried to eliminate personal bias and be as objective as possible.
Workload: The amount of work to complete outside of lectures (labs, assignments, homework, studying for tests/exams).
All engineers take the exact same courses in their first year first semester and similar ones in second semester. I took these courses in 2021 during covid so some information might be outdated.
First Year Semester 1:
APS100 Orientation to Engineering:
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: N/A
There is no technical material in this course. All coursework consists of Ethics analysis, creating a schedule for time management, creating your resume, and discussion board participation. During tutorials, the TA typically asks behavioral questions to the class and covers slides pertaining to engineering principles, the learning environment, test readiness, and related topics.
APS110 Engineering Chemistry and Materials Science
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B
This course blends elements of chemistry, physics, and mathematics, requiring lots of formulas and memorization. The assignments and online quizzes were moderately difficult. Not sure if he’s still teaching but Scott Ramsay was a really good professor. Really enjoyed watching his video demonstrations.
APS111 Engineering Strategies and Practices I
Difficulty: 3/10 Workload: 6/10 (Variable) Course Average: B
Students are organized into groups of 5-6 and are assigned the task of developing a solution for a client, following the engineering design process. Success in this course heavily relies on your team. Throughout the semester, there are several milestones where you need to submit large reports with your team, making it crucial to have capable teammates. Many teams resorted to last-minute cramming the night before each milestone (not a good idea). Additionally, there are two peer reviews, so make sure you contribute to avoid being perceived as an unproductive member. In most cases, you don’t need to worry about this though. You’d likely all be good friends by that point (and give each other a perfect review).
CIV100 Mechanics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: C+
The consensus among most students in my year was that this was the toughest first year course. It's incredibly calculation heavy, with questions that may appear straightforward in theory but require multiple steps to solve. Even a minor error can screw up your entire calculation process. The assignments are extremely time-consuming, and the quizzes pose significant challenges. I suggest you work in a group for the assignments. Furthermore, both the final exam and midterm were exceptionally difficult.
MAT186 Calculus I
Difficulty: 4/10 Workload: 4/10 Course Average: B
If you’ve taken IB or AP this course will be a breeze. Even without that background, it's still relatively straightforward. Very little on integrals, mostly derivatives, rates of change, and graphs. PCEs and WebWorks were trivial, and the midterm and exam were easy.
MAT188 Linear Algebra
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
The majority of the course revolves around relatively straightforward operations on matrices and vectors. However, it does introduce abstract concepts like higher-order dimensions, which may require some deeper thinking to fully grasp. Webwork assignments were slightly more challenging compared to MAT186's, and completing assignments took a while. Once again, you should work with a partner or as a group. Pay attention in the MATLAB practicals because you’ll be using MATLAB pretty often in future courses.
First Year Semester 2:
APS105 Computer Fundamentals
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B-
If you’ve taken programming in high school, you will likely find this course very easy (2/10 difficulty). The course covers simple programming syntax, along with basic sorting algorithms, without delving into more advanced concepts beyond linked lists and binary trees. I think that this was one of the more enjoyable courses of first year.
APS112 Engineering Strategies and Practices II
Difficulty: 5/10 Workload: 7/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
This course is essentially a continuation of APS111, but with the added component of being assigned an actual client with a real-world problem statement. Each group works with a unique client, and at the end of the term, you present your final report directly to them, along with your supervisors. As with APS111, the quality of your team plays a crucial role in your success. Another thing to note is that unlike APS111, there were multiple individual assignments to complete on top of your team reports.
ECE110 Electrical Fundamentals
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: C+
Definitely one of the harder first year courses. This course marks your introduction to circuits. Topics covered include capacitors, Ampere's law, Ohm's law, Kirchhoff's laws, AC/DC circuits, magnetism, Thevenin and Norton equivalents, and more. The material is extensive and requires thorough understanding, as many future courses will build upon its concepts. Make sure that you understand the content well, given its foundational importance in subsequent courses.
ECE191 Introduction to Electrical and Computer Engineering
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 1/10 Course Average: N/A
Seminar course. You just need to show up to the lectures (one per week) and submit a 100-ish word report about what you learned.
MAT187 Calculus II
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
The workload in this course is comparable to Calc I, but the content is more challenging (obviously). It delves deeper into integrals and introduces concepts like ordinary differential equations and polar coordinates. But again, you’ll manage just fine if you did decently in Calc 1, and especially if you’ve taken AP math or IB HL math.
MIE100 Dynamics
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload 4/10 Course Average: C+
I personally found this to be the most challenging course in first year, but it seems that most people disagree with me. It shares similarities with CIV100, but you’re instead dealing with dynamic systems (moving) rather than static ones (not moving). Some concepts may prove difficult to grasp initially. However, if you focus on memorizing the relevant formulas and understanding when to apply them, you should be okay. Expect an emphasis on physics in this course.
Second year was the worst (for ECE) and a very big step up from first year. If you struggled in first year, you better lock in for second year.
Second Year Semester 1:
ECE201 ECE Seminar Course
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 0/10 Course Average: N/A
Another seminar course, except you just need to attend 7/10 lectures to pass. Most students just scan their Tcard at the entrance then leave right after. The lectures are pretty useless except the Magellan one where they show you how to choose courses for 3rd and 4th year.
ECE212 Circuit Analysis
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course provides a deeper exploration of circuits, extending beyond circuit solving to include frequency and sinusoidal analysis. Questions tend to be long so careless errors will cost you. Personally, I found the labs challenging, particularly because they required working with oscilloscopes at a higher level than I was used to, and I could not for the life of me figure out how to use that thing.
ECE241 Digital Systems
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B-
This hardware course focuses on the foundation of hardware. A lot of the content is at the fundamental level so it’s not too hard to comprehend. However, the main challenge lies in learning Verilog, a hardware description language. I hate Verilog. All the labs are done using Verilog, and frustratingly, the course provides no instruction on the language, nor are there many helpful resources available online. This lack of guidance made what should have been straightforward labs much more difficult. Thankfully if you are in CE, you’ll never need to take another course with Verilog again. The midterm was easy but the final was borderline impossible.
ECE244 Programming Fundamentals
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
This course is the sequel to APS105, delving into more advanced concepts like pointers, constructors, polymorphism, and inheritance. Many of these topics may feel familiar if you have prior programming experience, particularly from high school. Consequently, if you're already proficient in programming, as many computer engineering students are, you should be able to navigate through this course well. The labs were generally manageable, although a couple of them were time-consuming.
MAT290 Advanced Engineering Mathematics
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload 8/10 Course Average: B
In this course, you’ll learn a lot of miscellaneous mathematical concepts that will be relevant in future courses. The goal is to establish a strong foundation to facilitate understanding in third and fourth-year courses. There is also a quiz every week. They were terrible from a time management standpoint, but as long as you spent 3-4 hours per week completing the assigned textbook questions, you should be alright since one (out of two) of the questions on the quiz is guaranteed to be an assigned textbook question (at least, that was the case when I took the course).
MAT291 Calculus III
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload 9/10 Course Average: B-
The entire workload comes from studying for those damn weekly quizzes, much like MAT290. Personally, I found it to be one of the most difficult courses I've ever taken. Think of calculus 2, but now everything is in three dimensions, encompassing concepts like surface integrals, flux integrals, and more. Additionally, the course introduces abstract topics that I still struggle to grasp. Balancing the demands of this course alongside everything else was an incredibly stressful experience.
Second Year Semester 2:
ECE216 Signals and Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload:7/10 Course Average: C+
I think everyone hated this course. It was so poorly taught and the midterms felt haphazard and unpredictable. I relied on the power of BS to pass (worked surprisingly). Other than working with many graphs and MATLAB, I don’t remember much about this course because it was so uninteresting.
ECE221 Electric and Magnetic Fields
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course serves as an introduction to fields, while also expanding on the principles covered in ECE110. Many concepts build upon intuitive ideas, such as the repulsion of identical charges and attraction of opposite charges, which can make seemingly complex topics less intimidating. There are also many procedures that you need to know to solve specific types of questions. The labs are generally straightforward. You just need to follow the steps on the lab worksheet and answer a few simple questions from the TA.
ECE231 Intro to Electronics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: C+
This course is basically circuit analysis but significantly harder. It combines everything you've learned about circuits thus far, introducing new topics on top of that foundation. There are so many new concepts to learn and the final pretty much tests you on all of them. I’ve encountered multiple scenarios where I saw two concepts that I thought were completely separate from each other being integrated into a single question on an exam. Also very calculation heavy. Despite my experience in this course, I must admit Khoman Fang was a great professor.
ECE243 Computer Organization
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: B
This course is a direct continuation of ECE241, and surprisingly, I found it a lot more enjoyable than its prerequisite. The focus is on Assembly language programming, which I found to be way more understandable compared to Verilog. Assembly operates at a fundamental level, so you’re technically working with the most basic building blocks in programming. The labs often involved seemingly simple tasks like counting to 10 on a HEX display, but the nature of Assembly meant that achieving this could require hundreds of lines of code. I appreciated these labs as they provided a refreshing change from the usual programming tasks. Final and midterm exams were relatively easy.
ECE297 Software communication and design
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
Despite the demanding workload, this course was one of my favorites. The main project involved collaborating in teams of three to develop a geographical information system (similar to Google Maps). Unlike other courses where teams are assigned, here you have the freedom to choose your own teammates. Starting off, your team is given only the OpenStreetMap database, and the APIs, granting you complete control over your project's design, functionality, and optimization. Performance enhancement and pathfinding algorithms were key components of the project. It's crucial for all team members to contribute effectively for success in this course; And trust me, this is not a one or two person project. To succeed in this course, all three members must be doing their share.
Third Year:
They say that third year is the easiest year for ECE, but that depends on what courses you choose. For me, it was only slightly easier than second year but still significantly harder than first year.
APS360 Fundamentals of Deep Learning
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload : 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course felt fundamentally very different compared to the other programming related courses. If you’re unfamiliar with deep learning, the content can be overwhelming but the inner workings behind AI are both fascinating and challenging to grasp. Fortunately, much of the coding in the course revolves around preparing data, setting up AI architectures, and training/testing models, rather than building an AI from scratch. While the labs are manageable, the final project can be very time consuming, particularly as training a single model can require hours or even days. Regarding this aspect, make sure you start early. Both the midterm and final exams were quite difficult.
ECE302 Probability and Applications
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: B-
The first half of this course is very straightforward. Just an introduction to probability. The second half is where the difficulty quickly ramps up. Make sure you don’t underestimate the second half of the course. I made the mistake of assuming the material was easy after performing well on both midterms (midterms were very easy), leading me to neglect the final third of the course so I flunked the final. FYI, our marks were determined solely by the 2 midterms and the final.
ECE344 Operating Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: B
This course had the most difficult and demanding labs I’ve ever seen in my life. They are due every two weeks and some of them took most students more than 15 hours to complete. I’ve seen people staying up all night in the GB computer rooms to finish these labs. One positive aspect of the course if Jon Eyolfson is your professor, is that all lectures are both recorded and live-streamed, allowing attendance in person, online synchronously, or asynchronously. But if you have Ding Yuan, good luck. I heard he is not only bad at teaching, but also makes you program an operating system from scratch. The course content is quite interesting and the Midterm and final exams were fair.
ECE345 Algorithms and Data Structures
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B+
If you're one of those programming geniuses who have been doing Leetcode since like 3 years old, you’d have likely already learned all course content before you’ve even started the course. You could probably write midterm and final exams without attending any lectures. However, if you're not as experienced, attending every lecture, taking detailed notes, and staying focused is crucial. Personally speaking, some algorithms were incredibly difficult for me to grasp, while others were simple. Assignments typically include both coding and long-answer components, which can be time-consuming, but you can work with a partner.
TEP444 Positive Psychology for Engineers
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: A-
This course overall was very enjoyable and a nice refreshing experience from the other technical courses. You go on excursions to various locations with your group and write reports. It's an excellent opportunity to expand your social circle and make new friends. If you aim for an A- grade (80-85), you can breeze through with minimal effort. However, achieving a higher grade (A or A+) would require significantly more work (like 5 times more, no joke), which is not worth the extra effort in my opinion.
CSC343 Introduction to Databases
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: Unreleased
The content of this course is actually pretty interesting and is taught well. But the assignments were excessively time consuming. There are only three in total, but each one demanded such a significant investment of time to the point where I contemplated dropping the course altogether. You do work with a partner (going solo isn’t even an option if you want to complete the assignments) but even so, be prepared to invest 15-30 hours per person, per assignment (they also mark hard). Despite the workload, I do recommend taking this course because knowing SQL can substantially benefit you in the future. Just start the assignments early. On a positive note, the midterm and final were relatively straightforward.
ECE311 Introduction to Control Systems
Difficulty: 10/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course didn't come with a heavy workload, consisting only of three labs and two midterms. However, I found the content to be very challenging. It felt like they condensed and combined every concept from every engineering math and physics course into one. Topics ranged from circuits and dynamics to Laplace transforms, matrices, Bode plots, and more. It didn’t help that Prof Scardovi didn’t record any lectures, has messy handwriting, and uses a damn chalkboard instead of modern technology like other profs do. The midterms and final were somewhat lenient compared to the lectures, but this course still ended up being my lowest mark.
ECE361 Computer networks I
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: B
This course requires a lot of memorization compared to other courses. You’ll have to understand calculation processes but also memorize a lot of general knowledge about networks. A problem with this course is that some concepts that show up in tests are not adequately explained in lectures. By far the best way to study is to do past exams. Professor Valaee often recycles questions, sometimes even directly copying past midterms and finals (like he did in my cohort). Unlike other courses, there is no big assignment/lab for this course, but it makes up for it with quantity. There’s a quiz every week, a wireshark lab every 2 weeks, a programming lab every 2 weeks, and a midterm. The programming labs are already difficult by themselves, but this cumulative workload felt very overwhelming.
ECE472 Engineering Economics and Entrepreneurship
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B+
This is straight up an economics course, no engineering at all. You’ll learn about investments, equity, financing, and related areas. There are 4 quizzes throughout the semester, with quiz 3 (quiz 3 specifically) being by far the hardest (average in the 50s). Since you're able to bring your textbook to the quizzes and exam, my biggest tip is to write past quiz and exam solutions in your textbook, as there's a limited pool of questions, and new questions often resemble some kind of variation of past ones.
ECE421 Introduction to Machine Learning
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: unreleased
While the course content itself may be challenging, surprisingly, the midterm and final exams were pretty easy. There's a slight discorrelation between the lecture material and what appears on the exams, but relying on past exams for preparation should be enough. The course leans heavily on mathematical concepts, much more so than APS360. The assignments were difficult and tedious but I recommend you work with others to complete it.
With that, I've covered my thoughts and tips for all the engineering courses I've completed. Transitioning into your next year in engineering, particularly if you’re transitioning from high school, can feel daunting. However, remember that you're not alone in this experience – many of your peers are facing similar challenges. If you need any more advice or have questions, feel free to reach out to me via DMs!

Long story short, I (M26) had been seeing (F28) for roughly about 2 months and things were going great. We would see eachother whenever we were available, we’d go explore the city. There was just such a solid connection, we just bounced so well off of one another. Lots of laughs, smiles, and affection. The entire time she would always tell me how she is a relationship type girl when I told her that I want to see where things go and whatever happens happens. She would always say “im a dawg” and not a relationship type of guy. I would do sweet things for her like pick her up, bring her coffee. She would tell me how no guy has ever treated her so well and been such a gentleman. I would go meet her on her lunch breaks. She brought me back a memento from her trip as well as a sweet note when I took her to the airport. We would maybe have a sleepover once a week. When we would have sex she would let me finish in her if that means anything. The whole time she talked about how she wanted to take things slow which we did and didn’t in certain ways. Personally I felt like I was following her pace but now we are here 👇🏻
Now it’s been about a week since she “broke it off”. I tried reaching out Saturday night after giving her a few days but she sort of hinted at her texts from before when she cut it off. She suddenly texted me that she thinks my expectations have changed, that I want a relationship at some point when she would say she like making memories with one person. That I am trying to fit this mold of what she wants. She now says that We see eachother too much and that she cannot commit to that time. She said that we shouldn’t continue whatever we are doing because it’s going to make things complicated. She did say she is scared several times and little overwhelmed.
There are other things I could add but long story short just suddenly one day she did a complete 180 on all of the things she said. I am not going to go chase after her in order to give her “space”. Do you think she’s going to reach back out at some point? Just seems really random to cut it off when she says there’s a connection and enjoy our time around another. I personally think she is scared of being hurt or simply not enough and the easiest thing for her is to run away from her feelings. She said im the first guy she dated this long in the city. Im just ultimately curious If I should ever hear back and if so when? Normally id cut my losses but I do find myself quite into this girl.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess just wanted to write out what I'd been feeling and put it somewhere. I'm using a burner account, and no real names, I just needed to vent this somewhere
I dated my ex (I won't bother with names) for 4 years, and broke things off last summer. Like all relationships it was complicated, but now - nine months later - I still have no idea if I did the right thing, and am left feeling rudderless and adrift.
I'm 41, she's 32 - we met online four-ish years ago, immediately hit it off and started seeing each other 3-4 times a week. We started dating in Jan 2020 ... two months later, covid hit, and our entire state was essentially locked down. We went from dating to basically living together after two months - which, at the time, was great with me .. we were in love, and things seemed great. My parents split up when I was 19. In my 20's and early 30's, I'd made some bad choices with romantic partners - and chased after people who were emotionally unavailable, fundamentally. It took many years of therapy and introspection, but I had been actively making and effort to only date people I saw a real future with.
She (at 28) had never really dated anyone before. She explained she had some very severe trauma as a child, and coupled with abusive parents, she had never put herself out there really, and had focused on work, and fitness, and school. Her father had cheated on her mother when she was a child, and she knew about it (from a very young age). I heard all this, and tried to be as empathic and understanding and reassuring as I could -> after all, it wasn't anything she had done, and I thought she was a badass for overcoming that kind of abuse. We hit it off straight away, and seemed to have tons in common, and those first few months together were incredible. She still lived at home, with her parents - and for the duration of our relationship never moved out, or found her own space.
Things started to get strange when one day, I liked a female friend's post on Instagram ... this was someone I'd known for 5-6 years, and I was friends with long before I knew my gf. In retrospect, my friend's post was a bit thirsty .. your classic "I'm powerful, self possessed" look-at-me photos that showed a bit too much skin - and I should have just kept browsing, but I tapped 'like' (one of probably 20 posts I liked that day from all kinds of different friend) and moved on.
A few hours later, my gf called me, furious, and accused me of using her 'as a place holder' because - in her mind - I obviously REALLY wanted to be with this other friend of mine, and was using her. This came completely out of left field to me, and we had a 2-hour phone argument where I apologized, told her I'd remove the 'like', whatever she wanted. She kept circling back again and again that it was "totally normal" to go through a partners friend list / liked posts because "anyone can see them, they're public". We went back and forth, I was frantic and after we got off the phone, I went through my Instagram and basically purged any attractive female friend I had, and removed any likes I had to any post that might be weird or suspect. From them on I rarely used social media at all - but every few months my ex would find a new friend on my social media she didn't like, or suspected - even after I stopped interacting with social media at all.
This same sort of low-level suspicion persisted throughout our relationship. If I was looking at my phone, she wanted to know what I was reading, who I was talking to, etc. I have never cheated on a partner in my life, in fact I had been cheated on twice - so the sort of dull, constant suspicion really upset me - and after a while it almost felt like she was trying to manifest / discover some kind of secret infidelity. The tragic part is that we got along great otherwise, she loved my (male) friends, loved my family, and we had a relaxed and loving relationship besides occasional flare ups. But the suspicion never went away, or changed - and this sort of underlying insecurity was a constant background white noise of our relationship. She especially took a disliking to my roommates girlfriend, and made it a point to always talk about how much she disliked her, how they weren't going to last - etc (I can't say I blame her, the girl in question was not awesome .. but I never understood why his g/f should have such an outsized effect on our relationship). Despite all this, I thought she was an a kind, empathic, intelligent woman - and I saw a life with her, I saw starting a family with her - as real possiblities.
She grew very attached to my family, which also started to make me wonder what was going on. Many times, first thing in the morning, before coffee or anything else, she'd ask me "how's your mom? how's your dad?" - and would always want to know if she was 'still their favorite'. The first few times I thought it was charming - but it kept going on, to the point I had to push back and ask her "hey, please stop asking me first thing in the morning about the status of my family" ... for reference, I lived on the opposite side of the country from them, and would only get to see them for the holidays (which she was always invited to). I had a very challenging period of my life with my family, from 15-30 my family was fractured, my parents split up, it was messy ... but through years of effort, and time and patience forgiveness, I had built strong, loving relationships with both my parents individually, and my siblings besides. I sometimes got the sense that she even loved my family more than me, and that I was - weirdly - almost an obstacle between her and them. I told her as much, that sometimes I almost was jealous of how much she loved them, and wished that she could point that in my direction sometimes - knowing that they would be part of the package. She never did that same work with her own family - who were deeply dysfunctional, combative and sometimes outright hostile to one another. As crazy as it sounds, I often felt like she was almost trying to reap the rewards of the many years of hard work I had done - without an appreciation for how hard it had been to build new, adult relationships with my parents.
After a year and a half she found a new job, in a new industry, at a high profile company - and for the first six months she was there, she seemed to be able to manage the stress. I asked her if she wanted to maybe find a place together, to move in together for real ... but she kind of brushed it off. I would ask her again every few months, and would be met with the same sort of half-maybe-sorta-we'll-see ...
She suffered a major concussion two years into our relationship, which is when things really started to change. She never went to therapy, or saw a doctor to get treated ... and as the months went by, she became obsessed, almost addicted, to her job. It was all-consuming for her, and occupied all her thought and effort and time ... our relationship became an afterthought, and would mostly be relegated to her staying over (because my apt was closer to her office than her parent's house) - then me cooking her breakfast and seeing her off in the morning - and getting take out when she got back at night. She became more and more locked into her job, and our relationship became more and more platonic and less and less romantic / sexual... which is not uncommon when people are stressed out, or exhausted - but we couldn't seem to find time or space to fix what was happening. We talked, and communicated - but her reaction to stress was to go inside herself, and cut the world off -> and my stress reaction has often been the same.
We grew more and more distant over the next year, I also got a new job that ate up a ton of my time, so we would only see each other for an hour or two in the evenings, or on the weekends when we were up for it. I have a habit of pushing the people I care about away when I am not doing well emotionally .. it's the biggest recurring issue I've had in my life. I've been to therapy for it, and have ways to manage stress including meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - all of which allow me to function. But as the months went by, I got more and more stressed out as we became more distant - and I started to fall apart, and started to feel more and more alone and isolated. I'm sure I could have been better, or more attentive, or more patient ... and I in no way want to trying to pin any blame on her. After all, I'm just 1/2 of the relationship, and 1/2 of the story. After not seeing each other for a few weeks, I had to go out of town for a week for my job - to deal with a long and stressful convention ... and when I came back, we didn't see each other for another week.
I wanted her to come see me, but couldn't come out and say it ... I wanted her to intuit my needs, which she OF COURSE was not able to do. She wanted me to tell her I desperately wanted to see her, which she couldn't articulate because she wanted ME to intuit her needs ... and round and round it went. Lack of communication.
We did see each other eventually, what started as a small disagreement blew up. It started after my ex starting talking about my roommate's girlfriend, or she said something nasty about her. I was upset because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, why would this girl be the first thing on her mind? What about us? I totally overreacted and pushed her away - it was a long and stupid argument, where we both ended up dredging up things from months and years before .. we broke up, she left. In my self-righteous indignation, I felt justified in the moment ... but as the hours passed, and days passed, I was miserable and knew I had made a horrible mistake. My friends at the time told me I'd done the right thing, and that we had long standing issues that I had been mentioning throughout our relationship ... she liked her well enough, but wanted me to be happy, and told me that I had, ultimately, done what I thought was right at the time - and not to doubt myself. But I did, I got fully stuck in my head about it - and was desperate (yes, the D word) to try again.
Over the next few weeks she totally ignored me, wouldn't respond to my calls, or messages. I didn't expect her to - but I practically begged her to give it another chance with me. But she had totally shut down, and in her (later) words "she was never going to speak to me again." She did, eventually, after a few weeks, respond to me. We talked, I apologized, tried to explain that she was the world to me, and I knew I had made a massive mistake, and desperately wanted a chance to try again - to make things right.
She agreed, eventually. We met up for dinner, and slowly talked things out - I was still honestly pretty upset, but we kept seeing each other, started making it a point to go on dates, to get to know each other again. She believed I had cheated on her, that I had met another woman and that this had all been a pretext ... I caught her going through my phone after I got out of the shower. There was nothing to find, but I couldn't believe that she still, after years together, suspected I had been unfaithful to her. But that was just a bump in the road, we talked it out. Things seemed to be getting better. We shared an amazing thanksgiving together, and I genuinely felt like we had turned a corner and were as close as we had ever been ... so did she.
The next Monday, at work, she got another concussion - worse than the first. From this point on, her entire personality shifted ... Which I have learned, in the months that followed, is just something that can happen with head trauma. She didn't want to spend time together nearly as much, she fully retreated into herself, and her family. She wouldn't come visit at all anymore - even if I was willing to pick her up / drop her off ... she would only agree to meet for platonic dinners at a halfway point between our houses. She started seeing a doctor, a neurologist, doing PT work ... but she just kept seeming to get further and further away. If I invited her over, she was always want to know if my roomate's g/f "might" be there, or if we'd be alone ... and if there was even a chance this girl would be there (even though we could spend time in my room, or in the common living room without interference) - my ex would just stay home.
Six or seven months of this went by ... we kept sort of drifting apart, and it seemed like no matter how much I tried to communicate, or bridge the divide between us (which, to be honest, it felt like I was doing 3/4 of the work to keep this thing going) - we just kept drifting. After her second concussion, we stopped being intimate all together ... she was still convinced I had been with other women while we were apart, and demanded I get tested for STDs for her to trust me again. I let my pride get in the way, and should just have done it - but I had not been with or dated anyone else in the few weeks we were apart, and I couldn't get over that she still wouldn't trust me at my word.. after almost 4 years together, I still had to prove myself.
But I didn't, I was stubborn and dug my heels in - so our last potential shot at intimacy evaporated. We became basically platonic buddies ... we still loved each other, said we loved on another every day - but I always felt like I was chasing her, hoping for some kind of emotional connection or breakthrough or common ground that never manifested. By the time July rolled around, I was a total mess ... I felt completely alone, isolated, and like the person I knew and loved had drifted off, and there wasn't a way to get her back. For two months I said that I was really struggling, I was feeling really disconnected and that I missed her all the time - that I wanted to get back to baseline but didn't know how, and that I wanted her help or guidance. She said she felt like she was gradually getting back to where she started, but had no clear picture of how long that might take, and couldn't give me any kind of definitive answer if things would get better again - or how things might get better again.
It never happened. With another month-long work event looming on the horizon, and my stress levels climbing and climbing, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Eventually, after one of our platonic dates, I had a full on breakdown, and tearfully told her how isolated I was feeling, how I felt like I'd lost her, and how I felt totally clueless how to fix things. She had no ideas to offer, no guidance on how to navigate any of this, and no suggestions how to get back to some kind of baseline. It all poured out from both sides ... she didn't feel like she could trust me ever since we'd got back together, I felt like she neve really let me back in. But we both agreed that that one thanksgiving had been amazing ... and we wished we could find a way back to that place - but had no idea how.
I told her I needed a month, or two, I needed to start seeing a therapist, I needed to put myself back together because I felt like I was falling apart. I told her I wished that we could take a breathe - and come back on more solid footing because I had fucked up when I broke things off before. I had come back from a place of sadness and desperation - and had not given either of us a chance to heal before trying to undo the damage I'd caused. I wanted to meet her on even footing, from a place of mutual strength and try again ...
To her, this was just me breaking up with her again.. which I tried to say "no, I don't want to lose you, but I'm fucked up and need to just right the ship a bit in my life because I am totally losing it ..." But, sometimes it doesn't matter. To her, I was leaving her again, giving up. I had no idea if she'd speak to me again, but I felt so broken I didn't know what else to do.
I took two months, without contact, and started seeing a therapist, started exercising again, got through my hell-month at work. I tried reaching out again to her, multiple times after that ... but I never heard back. A few months went by - I missed her more and more, I didn't heal or get better, I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing. My friends told me I had, my family was supportive - my friends especially have told me time and time again that ultimately, I did the right thing, that I did what was right 'for me' ... but to me, the reassurance didn't matter. There was a giant, gaping hole in my life that I had no idea what to do with. This was a woman I had wanted to marry, that I had wanted to life with, to build and share a life with -> and at one point, I know she wanted the same. I felt so terrible, and couldn't handle the memories of the place I was in, that I resigned from my job (which was ok, it was a horrible grind, that while it paid ok, didn't have any kind of upward mobility) .. and after a lot of thought, I moved back across the country because it was too painful for me to be in that place, surrounded by the memories - living with the ghosts. My friend group had been slowly dispersing, getting new jobs in new cities, having kids and getting on with life - and I didn't see a reason to stay anymore. I debated reaching out to my ex to let her know I was moving - but it had been months without a word, she had not responded to any of my attempts to talk to her, to meet her even for coffee, or to return the few things of hers I still had - and I knew that if I did reach out - it would ultimately be a selfish act, hoping that somehow she might say 'oh no, he's leaving for good' ... so I didn't. I'm still not sure if she knows I left.
I've been saying with family, slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I'm taking classes, and plan on switching careers into a new field that I may actually am passionate about. I'll find my own place again in a month or two, but truth is I missed my family dearly, and have been helping both my aging parents with years of neglected repairs and yard work - and seeing my siblings and their families again after a decade of living on the opposite coast and getting to see them 'maybe' once a year around the holidays. Plus after paying insane rent to random landlords for over a decade, its been nice to have a few months of feeling grounded, and to put work into where I'm living. My family has been thrilled, and glad to have me around again.
But it's made no difference, really. I still think of her every day. Some days are easier than others, and I can manage to stay focused on classes and work and fitness - but in so many ways my life feels totally hollow now. I'm stuck wondering if I completely fucked up a good thing, and wasted what might have been my last shot at starting a family of my own, of having a real partner. I'm 41, realistically my chances get slimmer by the year. Or maybe I did totally the right thing, and I got out of a degenerating situation that had been nagging at me for months and months that something was deeply wrong. Or maybe it was somewhere in between those two poles. There's no way to know, and I'm limited to my own side, and my own perspective - and trapped in that middle ground of wondering how things "MIGHT" have gone had X Y or Z happened differently. I wish I had some kind of clarity, or certainty, but I don't.
I guess things are getting a bit easier, as the days and weeks and months go by - but its only by fractions of a degree. I miss her, or maybe just miss the person she used to be, if that person still exists. Head trauma is ... complicated - because the person looks the same, sounds the same ... but the person you knew, the person you fell in love with, isn't really the same person anymore. Its almost like, mourning the death of someone who is still alive, if that makes sense.
So here I am, taking it one day at a time, hoping for some brighter tomorrow, some slow healing or revelation or clarity that I did the right thing - but all I have are doubts. There's no closure to be found because all I ever got was silence. I've done everything people have recommended - focused on myself, focused on health and fitness, focus on learning new skills, on meeting new people, gone on dates, focused on family, focused on growing -> but it hasn't helped the giant, gaping hole in my life, and the never-ending uncertainty.
I expect no sympathy, or empathy ... and knowing reddit, I'll get a lot of people piling on to tell me what a piece of shit I am, lol'ing at how I fucked up my own life, and telling me she's better off without me. But then again sometimes even Reddit can surprise you with the insightful and thoughtful responses. More than anything, I just wanted to write this down somewhere, anywhere - to get it out of my head and my heart. Because the more it stews, the worse I feel. Thanks for reading, if you managed to make it this far.. its a long, messy, meandering story without any real ending. Will I hear from her again? Probably not. Will I get over her? Eventually I'm sure ... but what happens between now and then is anyone's guess. What ever it is, it'll happen on day, one moment at a time.
tldr; sometimes things just end - without someone cheating, or abusing the other person, or any real good way to sum it up. Life and relationships are long, complicated, nuanced and messy. Take care all, appreciate what you have while you have it, take it one day at a time

Hey, im super satisfied with the performance of this phone; however, I live in EU and I had to get the Exynos variant. It's been over a month and I cannot comprehend and express how disappointed I'm with the battery life. About 2.5h SOT with 5g turned off, Bluetooth off, being super cautious about WiFi/mobile data, 70% CPU slowdown, routines and the list goes on.
I can watch YouTube for 2 hours and it'll take a few %; whereas being in idle (lock screen) will take more battery than a 2 hkurs long video. A day at the university with occasional hotspot is impossible. Today, after being at university for 4.5h hours with SUPER CAUTIOUS use of the phone, I got home with 10% battery.
I use my phone for checking messenger, Gmail and some Reddit browsing. Ofc I also take a few pictures a day.
Should I upgrade to S23, S24 or a different brand? I need super good battery life as I cannot even go on a cycling trip not worrying about the battery. It's terrible and stay away from this model (Exynos variant).
This is my 2nd Samsung device. The first one is Galaxy Tab s6 Lite and the battery can last a few days. Today, combining university + work (so 9AM - 6PM), I had to charge it three times. It drains as hell on idle.
So, S23, S24 or a different brand? I need AMAZING battery life.
Also, I don't like the square design, so ultra models are a big no-no.