After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik, slacker satyr employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While struggling with slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylennos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

Can I just rant for a minute! This Is My First Post! LOL!
I have been trying to be a SMBC for 2 years and have had 3 Fertility Clinics turn me away and 1 OB office turn me away, because I want to be a SMBC. I want to scream! I found a clinic that will take a SMBC and offer MINI IVF, but they quoted me $30,000-$40,000 for ONE CYCLE! I feel SOOO upset. But of course the clinic that quoted me $10,000-$15,000 wont take SMBC. What is this!!! I want to scream forever.
I had bought 7 vials of donor sperm from CCB back when their prices were $1,200 a vial and used them ALL for home insemination. Sadly, that didn't work. I called them back to buy more vials only to find out their vials are now $2,200 and they are raising their prices soon. WHAT!!!! I cant afford $2,200 a vial. To make matters worst my donor is limited stock, only 6 vials left! So it is a now or never situation. I have cried over loosing my perfect donor!
I was recommend to use ICI (International Cryogentics Sperm Bank) by my OB and so I called and the women who answer the phone are SOOO RUDE! There are three of them and each one does not want to answer my questions. I ask what the family limit is and one lady said “25” and another says “20”! WHAT! I asked to speak with the lab supervisor as she is the “women in charge” and she was nice to release some back up vials to me, since the donor I wanted only had a few IUI vials left and they normally don't release them to the public. But what a pain!
Then my OB who I did 5 IUI with, totally lied to me about success rate, saying that IUI have a 30-35% success rate! I later found out by a real fertility specialist that IUI only has a 10-15% success rate. My OB was rude and talked down to me and made me feel like I was dumb. I drove an hour and a half each way to my appointments. My OB didn't offer ultrasounds on Thursday or the weekends and so your cycle had to line up with his office hours and if your cycle didn't his words were “to bad so sad, I have an OB office not an RE office”. One cycle he mismanaged my medication and I overestimated to the point I was almost in the ER from CLOMID!!!! I had a left over cyst the following month and my OB convinced me to still do that cycle, I was later told by someone else that I should have skipped that cycle. All my IUI failed because of this MAN!!! He never waited for my follicles to grow and he would have me trigger at 10-14mm. WHAT!!! I didn't know at the time that my follicles were immature. He said over and over again that frozen sperm was just like fresh and would live 72 hours. I knew this one was a lie because BOTH of my banks told me 12-24 hours. When I called him out he said “I have been an OB for 13 years and I know what I am doin.” I called the bank in tears after my last failed attempt because my lovely new bank made you call and report if your cycle didn't work. I begged the women to tell me how many pregnancy had been reported by my OB office. She said “4” “In the 10 years we have worked with him” What only 4!!! In 10 years!!! Why was I not told this when i was first asked months ago? The women even went on to say “we have never had a bad complaint from this OB and we have seen HUNDREDS of clinics use samples there.” WHAT!!!
My vent needs to continue but I have stuff I have to do!!!
Stacie

Hi charlotte! Luv your videos. So me (F-17) And friend (F-17) we can call friend; Tiffany (not her real name) Me and Tiffany have had lots of issues. We first met at one of my best friends birthday parties. i always got the sense that Tiffany didn’t like me being friends with “her bestfriend” but i just ignored it and moved on, Me and Tiffany bonded, and Tiffany invited me to her party. We were all having fun playing games, and then cake time came around. I was sitting there eating peacefully, and she then brought up something weird about this guy that we ALL hated. I said “thats disgusting” as a comment on what she had said. But Tiffany and her mom took that offensively and thought i said that about her cake, which was obviously not true, so they were framing me (i guess to get rid of me so Tiffany can have her “best friend” all to herself) I just thought it was weird how Tiffany was framing me, and making rude comments about me. So i texted her to make sure she understood that i was not talking about her cake, i texted in quote “Hey, im sorry about saying something that came off as rude, but i promise you i was talking about that guy, not your cake” I even asked a couple of the other people who were at the party if what i said was okay, and they all said that they thought i was talking about the guy, not the cake. So the next day i went to school, thinking the misunderstanding was resolved. Wrong. Me and Tiffany have a class together, so I walked into class and she almost immediately said “My mom said i’m not allowed to be friends with you anymore” i was shocked and confused, as we are both almost adults, So why would her mom have to make decisions for her. She knew that the comment wasn’t about her cake, but I decided I would ignore it and if she doesn’t want to stick up for me towards her mom, than so be it. We made up quite a bit over time so me, Tiffany, and a couple other friends, all went to the mall for a girls day. (Keep in mind i am short and small) We stumbled upon a store that had baby clothes, and she said “Oh look! You could fit in those!” Very snobby/petty-ish while pointing to a couple baby clothes. I don’t like people commenting on my height, and she knew that. I tried to ignore it, but eventually confronted her as this went on at least three times in the whole day. She just rolled her eyes and said “whatever” when i had confronted her, and if she doesn’t care about my bounderies, then buh-bye. So even though we are not friends, we are on good terms right now but she does make rude comments, and laugh about them, etc. (Btw the only thing i ask for is for people not to comment on my height bc i get made fun of for it)

I was recently gifted a ring that I’ve decided to reset. It has a 2.8ct, K, VS1 natural diamond set in a platinum setting.
I was vacationing in India, and I thought why not do it here. Jewelry in general is a big part of the culture, there are many experienced, reputable jewelers, and I’d wanted to add some gemstones (sapphires) to the setting and I could see and pick them out for myself at these stores.
My aunt had a gold necklace that had a broken which she had given one of her trusted jewelers to fix. This was a brand-name place, established in late 1800s, blah blah blah. So she told me to come along, telling me that they are trustworthy and would do a quality job.
Here’s how it went.
We went in, she picked up the fixed necklace, exchanged pleasantries with one of the sales-people (who she had a long-standing relationship with). Then introduced me and I started talking. Showed them the ring, and the guy starts talking.
Him: [examining ring] What kind of stone is this?
Me: it’s a diamond.
Him: how many carats?
Me: uh, it’s 2.8 carats, and K, VS1.
Him: [turns it over in his and, continues to examine] How much was it? 10, 15? (I imagine he was asking in thousands, but I’m not sure)
Me: (mildly shocked but hiding it). I don’t know, it was a gift. (It was given to my mom by my dad, which she gifted to me after my civil wedding ceremony)
Him: [still examining the ring. Then whispemutters to two other sales people nearby] Bring the tester.
At this point I pick up my phone and pretend to be doing something on it. I was a bit taken aback and didn’t know what to do.
Salespeople bring one of those diamond tester things. Three salespeople crowd around the main dude, whos holding the ring. Main dude tests it. And then looks critically at it, not saying anything.
One of the sales people, whispering to main dude: Is it real?
Main dude slightly nods to him.
They continue crowding around him, looking at ring.
At this point I’m just calmly looking around, trying to not be awkward.
Main guy to me: is it certified?
Me: yes.
Him: do you have the certificate?
Me: no, it’s with my mom, but I can get it if you need.
Him: [silent for a while, and then] it should be inscribed on the stone right?
Me: yes I think so.
Him [nods]
At this point the others disperse, and we talk about the new setting I want, etc. I get a reasonable quote but I feel a little taken aback by the whole experience for some reason, so I tell them I’ll let them know, and me and my aunt leave.
After leaving, I don’t know. It felt so off. Like rude? I don’t know. I just remember feeling bad. My aunt could see I was a little quiet and told me that’s just how business is done in India, people are more blunt, and it’s becuase I’ve been away so long that I’m not used to it. But I don’t know. Is this normal?
I just felt kind offended? Or upset?

I was recently gifted a ring that I’ve decided to reset. It has a 2.8ct, K, VS1 natural diamond set in a platinum setting.
I was vacationing in India, and I thought why not do it here. Jewelry in general is a big part of the culture, there are many experienced, reputable jewelers, and I’d wanted to add some gemstones (sapphires) to the setting and I could see and pick them out for myself at these stores.
My aunt had a gold necklace that had a broken which she had given one of her trusted jewelers to fix. This was a brand-name place, established in late 1800s, blah blah blah. So she told me to come along, telling me that they are trustworthy and would do a quality job.
Here’s how it went.
We went in, she picked up the fixed necklace, exchanged pleasantries with one of the sales-people (who she had a long-standing relationship with). Then introduced me and I started talking. Showed them the ring, and the guy starts talking.
Him: [examining ring] What kind of stone is this?
Me: it’s a diamond.
Him: how many carats?
Me: uh, it’s 2.8 carats, and K, VS1.
Him: [turns it over in his and, continues to examine] How much was it? 10, 15? (I imagine he was asking in thousands, but I’m not sure)
Me: (mildly shocked but hiding it). I don’t know, it was a gift. (It was given to my mom by my dad, which she gifted to me after my civil wedding ceremony)
Him: [still examining the ring. Then whispemutters to two other sales people nearby] Bring the tester.
At this point I pick up my phone and pretend to be doing something on it. I was a bit taken aback and didn’t know what to do.
Salespeople bring one of those diamond tester things. Three salespeople crowd around the main dude, whos holding the ring. Main dude tests it. And then looks critically at it, not saying anything.
One of the sales people, whispering to main dude: Is it real?
Main dude slightly nods to him.
They continue crowding around him, looking at ring.
At this point I’m just calmly looking around, trying to not be awkward.
Main guy to me: is it certified?
Me: yes.
Him: do you have the certificate?
Me: no, it’s with my mom, but I can get it if you need.
Him: [silent for a while, and then] it should be inscribed on the stone right?
Me: yes I think so.
Him [nods]
At this point the others disperse, and we talk about the new setting I want, etc. I get a reasonable quote but I feel a little taken aback by the whole experience for some reason, so I tell them I’ll let them know, and me and my aunt leave.
After leaving, I don’t know. It felt so off. Like rude? I don’t know. I just remember feeling bad. My aunt could see I was a little quiet and told me that’s just how business is done in India, people are more blunt, and it’s becuase I’ve been away so long that I’m not used to it. But I don’t know. Is this normal?
I just felt kind offended? Or upset?

I was recently gifted a ring that I’ve decided to reset. It has a 2.8ct, K, VS1 natural diamond set in a platinum setting.
I was vacationing in India, and I thought why not do it here. Jewelry in general is a big part of the culture, there are many experienced, reputable jewelers, and I’d wanted to add some gemstones (sapphires) to the setting and I could see and pick them out for myself at these stores.
My aunt had a gold necklace that had a broken which she had given one of her trusted jewelers to fix. This was a brand-name place, established in late 1800s, blah blah blah. So she told me to come along, telling me that they are trustworthy and would do a quality job.
Here’s how it went.
We went in, she picked up the fixed necklace, exchanged pleasantries with one of the sales-people (who she had a long-standing relationship with). Then introduced me and I started talking. Showed them the ring, and the guy starts talking.
Him: [examining ring] What kind of stone is this?
Me: it’s a diamond.
Him: how many carats?
Me: uh, it’s 2.8 carats, and K, VS1.
Him: [turns it over in his and, continues to examine] How much was it? 10, 15? (I imagine he was asking in thousands, but I’m not sure)
Me: (mildly shocked but hiding it). I don’t know, it was a gift. (It was given to my mom by my dad, which she gifted to me after my civil wedding ceremony)
Him: [still examining the ring. Then whispemutters to two other sales people nearby] Bring the tester.
At this point I pick up my phone and pretend to be doing something on it. I was a bit taken aback and didn’t know what to do.
Salespeople bring one of those diamond tester things. Three salespeople crowd around the main dude, whos holding the ring. Main dude tests it. And then looks critically at it, not saying anything.
One of the sales people, whispering to main dude: Is it real?
Main dude slightly nods to him.
They continue crowding around him, looking at ring.
At this point I’m just calmly looking around, trying to not be awkward.
Main guy to me: is it certified?
Me: yes.
Him: do you have the certificate?
Me: no, it’s with my mom, but I can get it if you need.
Him: [silent for a while, and then] it should be inscribed on the stone right?
Me: yes I think so.
Him [nods]
At this point the others disperse, and we talk about the new setting I want, etc. I get a reasonable quote but I feel a little taken aback by the whole experience for some reason, so I tell them I’ll let them know, and me and my aunt leave.
After leaving, I don’t know. It felt so off. Like rude? I don’t know. I just remember feeling bad. My aunt could see I was a little quiet and told me that’s just how business is done in India, people are more blunt, and it’s becuase I’ve been away so long that I’m not used to it. But I don’t know. Is this normal?
I just felt kind offended? Or upset?

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

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satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

A conversation with a few friends of mine some skins have certain audiences to them and certain people will pick them more than others that's just the nature of people, and sometimes these people can be fit into certain groups, and certain stereotypes which is also nature of people. So I will be talking about these stereotypes, with 4-8 champs at a time depending on how many skins they have, starting with- Not androxus- but some general skin types etc.
Let me start off by saying that stereotypes are broad, and over generalized by nature, and not everyone is the same we're not Buzz Lightyear here, at the very least these are meant for fun.

Basic Recolours

The recolours you can buy for gold often attract semi-new players those that got the champions they like and often will spend "extra" gold on recolours.
They're most likely new at the game, or at the very least their champion.
Certain recolours will be brought up again per champion if they add anything different or have a different stereotype.

System Recolours/Promotional Recolours

So these guys probably are more likely to be even newer than the basic recolours since they got them from linking accounts or following/subscribing to different social media and all that.

Mastery/Gold Skins

Assuming it's gold they're probably confident in their skill with a champion and want to display that, but with the obsidian and cosmic ones they tend to be the same as basic and promotional recolours.

Invitational/Event Recolours

Okay so we're done with recolours after this I promise but often these are old school players, often ignoring the actual quality of skins to more say that's when they were around.

Hats

Hats are kinda the same as the event/invitation recolours but they can also be found on new players who got the hat from a chest, in general if they have a proper skin they'll dump these for the skin so at the very least that leaves semi experienced players who finds the frog hat more funny than they do the cowboy cool.

Androxus

It's fair to say that Android is the poster boy of paladins and since he's relatively old he's got a lot of skins over the years and he's got quite the audience, I mean really he's the guy they show on the splash art of the game like imagine little Timmy seeing his older brother playing Androgenous "Who's the cool guy with the revolver and horns?" And his brother is like "That's my main Abolitionist" and then next game Timmy is playing Angrosist.
And they're very against nerfs every time pretending it'll kill Ambrosia and every time he's just fine maybe the fact he's got a solid baseline kit means he's not struggling when nerfs come knocking. Either way it doesn't stop the complaints.
Often Anglo (Okay the bits running thin) players take themselves seriously, whether you should depends, and depends alot. But he does inevitably attract edgelords, assholes, and blowhards.

Exalted

Exalted Andros tend to hold themselves in high regard but at the same time tend to suck, they bought this skin since it was cheap and with it are often not that great.

Imperator

So imperator is basically the same as exalted in looks but it does have the caveat that it's actually not as readily available which means someone has to make a active choice to run this, these guys are pretty much more for simplicity and class over complexity and fancy stuff, this means you'll see them play pretty good Andro where they'll stick to the stuff that works rather than flashy montage worthy stuff, they can do these but they more prefer understated competency over flashy nonsense.

Screech

This is a hat that actually has a stereotype since it's not apart of a chest it's from the deal of the day that makes a difference to who is using it. These guys are mostly raging blowhards, they think they're gods at the game but they're not as good as they believe, like antlers they say crap but not enough to get banned. This changes to just normal tryhards when they get their hands on shattermaw, almost every Andro with this skin and shattermaw are more interested in shitting on you and moving on to the next, they really only do really good in casuals without comms, but they can get work done in ranked.

Cangaceiro

Okay so this guy either uses the Shatter Maw and same deal as Screech Andro's or they run they Huntsman's gun and if you get to talk to them in a party or something they'll cry about how the pirate skins in Paladins Strike aren't ported over to paladins. It's weird and it's specific. They do tend to be nicer and less serious than Screech Andros.

Huntsman

These are the most average Andro's in existence, they certainly exist but they're not too interesting all considering. They're not bad or good, or particularly toxic or nice or anything like that, they just exist.

Steam Demon

I mean there's a Young Frankenstein joke to be made here. But Andro's running the steam demon skin tend to be uptight and expect people to carry their own weight... Of course the chance they tend to mess up they go silent, they're not rude perse but they sure do expect a lot.

Fallen

These are the guys who listened to Nightcore- Angel with a shotgun too much and will be very melodramatic, and tend to be almost always a downer for the team, they do clutch up though so something to be said.

Battlesuit Godslayer

No one really uses this skin if they have others, really this skin doesn't sell the gundam vibes the others do maybe it's because of his waistcost flowing back there but really he just looks like a guy in a robot suit

Steelforged/Dragonforged

These Andros are just as dramatic as Fallen Andros but they seem to be in on the joke and often will more be self aware, they will be playing like some viking bagpipe metal music so it's not all good with them.

Avatar

These guys probably blame their support and will unironically quots the skin, not realizing it's making fun of them. They also probably are tickled by the fact it looks likr a Xbox 360

Modded

Now often with battlepass skins their recolours are basically the same stereotype normally but for Modded these guys have basically brain rotten themselves down to the same level with their obsession with RGB lights.

Exterminate

Yeah another skin no one uses really, unless they're really interested in the cat in his backpack otherwise it's just not really a great skin since it's just a guy in a dragon ball z kai uniform without the cool ass powers and literal royalty free music.

Grave Danger

This is Kinda like omen it's not as self aware but it's hard to take this skin more seriously than default and these guys tend to be chill but it's a newer skin so it's not exactly like there's room to have a stereotype yet, which is fair but still other skins still have stereotypes that formed same day as their release.

Golden

Now it's rare that a gold skin that doesn't change something about a character shows up but this is widespread since every Andro on earth who runs this will almost always have a bloated ego, whether it's 50 or 550 these guys are super quick to be offended and will tunnel the shit out of you for just about anything.

Ash

Ash is weirdly uncommon despite being free, probably because everyone is running at point with her and she basically loses that engagement to every proper point tank, she is a offtank first and foremost after all.
As for stereotypes there is a few thing that I've noticed with Ash's (Ashes? Ashs? Ash players) First is if they're running the default voice pack even with other skins they're definitely offtanking.
And another oddity is the Ash mains that have more than one skin tend to never properly match their weapons and skins up, it's weird but every other Ash main I see runs a different weapon and skin.

Heirloom Crest

So I bring this hat up because unlike anyone else with a hat skin no one wears this, honestly it should just come with a different version of Ronin but really this is the exception to the hatskin rule, these guys are just new players who got it from a chest and felt justified in using it because they spent crystals on a chest.

Ronin

Ronin Ash players kinda just suck, it can be a matter of many different things as to why these guys struggle, they could suck at shooting people, they could be bad at positioning, trying to point tank, they're using their abilities at shit times, they could be great with all of that and still they'll have a terrible deck and talents.
These guys just suck

Xenobuster

Xenobuster Ash players tend to run into fights they shouldn't and lose, this more or less comes from the overuse of shoulder bash, otherwise they're probably running knock back spam, they're most likely to be found on TDM Throne or Abyss trying to wait around corners to throw you off. They will go spastic if you buy sentinel.

Street Style

These guys are meatheats, they're less interested in actually capturing the point and more just want teamfights, the objective and space are biproducts, as such you'll see these guys with really selfish buys, and decks, and they'll steal kills with slugshot, they're not doing it intentionally but they are rude.

Ska'Drin

Ska'Drin Ash players often properly play Ash as offtank and for the most part are good sports, it's nice enough at least when these guys are working with you, they will probably ask for someone to point tank while they do their thing.

Scorned

Another recolour with a different stereotype, these guys are also playing Ash as offtanks but their also raging assholes, and will bitch and moan from just about anything, whether it's their fault or not they'll yell at their team, though at the same time they are probably making space, and do their job well enough

Draconian Huntress

As mentioned earlier Ash mains tend to be rather rare, and the amount of people who'd go out of their way for this skin is rarer, these guys pretty much are guaranteed to be Ash mains or at the very least skin collectors. As for gameplay it's hard to say since I've seen like 4 people use this skin

Atlas

Atlas mains are pretty much obsessed with telling you they're Atlas mains it's like telling people you don't play fortnite or something. Like good on you mate, but I and I'm pretty sure most of the world don't really care. Skill ranges wildly and skins for the most part don't really change that.

Chronomancer

So uh this skin no one uses, you'll more likely find a Atlas running default with this Skin's gun, it's weird it's specific and I have no idea why it's like this... Oh yeah because Atlas looks awful without a beard.

Legionnaire

So Legionnaire Atlas is kinda a situation like Grave Danger Andro mostly because the skin again looks kind of goofy, though for the effort put into it, it's at least nice. Still these guys take themselves just as seriously as the skin does.

Corrupt/Vile

Most of these guys just suck like sure there's bound to be a good Corrupt or Vile Atlas out there but every one I've seen just sucks. It's a bloody shame since they're nice skins.

Azaan

Azaan doesn't really have too many skins to talk about but at the same time most people aren't exactly Azaan mains he's kind of a back pocket kind of champion.

Forgemaster

These guys actually main Azaan, and they're quick to get defensive on why they pick the shirtless Azaan skin

Dark Drake

I don't get how anyone understands this skin, it's so garbled and just nonsense, there's no real stereotype but I did find out that this skin has the same voice actor as Freddy Fazbear...

Barik

Again Barik mains are a rarity and, nost of the time I only really see last/bottom picks grabbing Barik and doing really nothing all game but cry about their team not carrying them.

Hi-Tek/Stonecut

If a champion has access to their pre-reworks skins and in general just older skins they're often on the cheaper side and really are just bought by newbies due to this, that's really it outside of the odd end nastolgia tripper.

Team Fortress 2

So you get this skin in a way that's similar to promotional recolours, and it's more or less exclusive to steam, it's a safe bet that a TF2 Barik is new at the game and on steam, that's it.

Swashbuckler

Pirate skins often invite people into running teams of pirates skins, outside of that Swashbuckler Bariks tend to more or less the point jockey they live on the point they die on the point.

Steel/Dragon Forged Barik

This guy listens to diggy diggy hole and probably runs some stupid deck that relies on a gimmick these guys are here for fun and will probably do something cool, maybe?

Betty

Betty is new-ish and so she only has the one skin, Betty kinda is the easy version of both Willo and Dredge without the impact of either, this means Betty attracts bad players.

Dragonette

Bowsette meme aside this is Betty's only real skin and so it's kinda broad to say anything but I assume once she gets something else it'll attract... A certain audience.
So yeah 5 champs, feel free to suggest anything for future champions I'll probably see or agree with them.

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

long story short, we are a large company and we take calls from all english speaking countries (canada, america and some european countries) whilst their local centre is closed. we rarely get calls but we are more than equipped to take them. it means that we have 24/7 customer support and means i get to speak to customers worldwide which i love.
the american customer calling from arkansas where it was 2am started off very abruptly by interrupting my call introduction with “why is your website broken!!!!”
i kindly explain that our website is functioning properly at the moment but the issue may be with his connection and id be happy to assist ect.
he is very rude but i help as best i can and it honestly sounds like his wifi is off on his laptop/ device he is accessing the website on lmao as he said the page said “hmmm can’t reach this page” and was moaning about how patronising it was to say “hmm.” i genuinely think that’s bings error screen
i wanted to check if anything was loading on his browser so painstakingly explained how to open a tab (how he even opened our website i have no clue) and asked him to type “google.com” to see if it would load. i don’t think it did but he started shouting “i don’t know why you’re asking me to do that” “it’s not my job to fix your website” “you call this customer service” ect. he kept calling me “little girl” as well which was horrible as im a fully grown woman Hhahahah
i let him finish and go to kindly explain the issue isn’t with us but i’m here to help so would appreciate him not shouting at me. but before i finish he asks to speak to “an american citizen who understands customer service.” i’m taken aback but i go to explain he’s welcome to call back during our american centres opening times. he doesn’t let me finish and goes on about how every company has call centres in india to save money and “nobody in india can understand simple problems” (quote)
im confused. but i go to finish what i was saying and even had the american centres opening times up to give them to him.
he doesn’t even let me finish and keeps going on about how it’s a money saving thing or whatever.
i decide to terminate the call, so i tell him “im terminating the call, if you call before 9am today you’ll be routed to us here in the glasgow or london office” he started talking again halfway through but i kept speaking.
he started to shout as i hung up and it clipped out and was quite funny
sorry to my american colleagues who got that call later on :)
sorry for the rant hahahah wasn’t really what i was expecting before 9am (uk time)

Hold your horses for a second, let me clarify a couple of things.
Im going to go through each Altaïr memory and explain why certain things support my conclusion and then explain why Altaïr may have done this.
Btw this will be a long read, so get ready.
MEMORY 1
I recommend you pull up a youtube video of all the AC Revelations Altaïr Cutscenes if you want to understand what i will be saying better.
This mission takes place before the events of AC1.
In this mission you kill a Templar who has ben pretending to be an Assassin. In the confession scene, the Templar says: "You put too much faith in the hearts of men, Altaïr. The Templars know the truth. Humans are weak, base, and petty."
Altaïr responds: "No. Our Creed is evidence to the contrary."
After the confession scene, Al Mualim says: "You offered him a chance to salvage his dignity, Why?"
Altaïr responds: "No man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness."
Al Mualim says: But he shunned your graces.
Altair responds: As was his right.
For anybody who paid attention to the story in AC1, there's a couple of MASSIVE problems with these conversations.
In these conversations Altaïr is extremely wise. He believes whole heartedly in the Assassin's Creed and seems to know who the templars are. This directly contradicts AC1, because Altaïr only learns about the templar brotherhood halfway into the game, and remember this memory takes place BEFORE AC1. In AC1 Altair was an extremely arrogant, rude and cocky man, the direct opposite of the man we see in this "memory" seal.
There are three possibilities, Either Altaïr was lying through his teeth the entire time to get that sweet master Assassin promotion from Al Mualim and somehow forgot about the templars, or he was Actually an extremely wise man who somehow became an arse between this memory and AC1 and once again somehow forgot about the templars (maybe fell on his head or something?) OR, the most likely possibility that would explain all of these inconsistencies, there is something fundamentally wrong with this memory.
Some context before i cover memory 2, it's one of the conversations during the Al Mualim fight at the end of AC1, so feel free to scross past this bit if you remember the conversation well, if you don't then read it, because it's extremely important.
During Altaïr's confrontation of Al Mualim, Altaïr says: "You lied to me, called Robert's goal foul when all along it was yours aswell."
Al Mualim says: "I've never been much good at sharing"
Altaïr says: "You won't succed, others will find the strength to stand against you."
Al Mualim says: "And this is why so long as men maintain freewill, there can be no peace."
Altaïr says: "I killed the last man who spoke as such"
Al Mualim says: "Bold words boy, but just words."
Altaïr says: "Then let me go, I'll put words into action."
All Mualim laughs
"Tell me master, why not make me like the other Assassin's, why allow me to retain my mind?"
Al Mualim says: "Who you are, and what you do are twined too tight together, to rob you of one would've deprived me of the other. And those templars had to die. sigh but the truth is, i did try, in my study, when i showed you the treasure, but are not like the others, you saw though the illustration."
Altaïr says: "Illusion?"
Al Mualim says: "That's all it's ever done, this templar treasure, this piece of eden this word of god. Do you understand now? The red sea was never parted, water never turned to wine, it was not the machinations of Eris, that spawned the trojan war, but THIS! Illusions! All of them."
Altaïr says: "What you plan is no less an Illusion, to force men to follow you against their will"
Al Mualim says: "Is it any less real than the phantoms the Saracens and Crusaders follow now? Those kraven Gods who retreat from this world that men might slaughter one another in their names? They live amongst an illusion already, im simply giving them another, one that demands less blood."
Altaïr says: "Atleast they choose these phantoms."
Al Mualim says: "Oh do they? Aside from the occasional convert or heritic?
Altaïr says: "It isn't right!"
Al Mualim says: "Ah, and now logic has left you, in it's place, you imbrace emotion, i am disappointed."
Altaïr says: "what's to be done then?"
Al Mualim says: "You will not follow me, and i cannot compell you."
Altaïr says: "And you refuse to give up this evil scheme!"
Al Mualim says: "It seems then we are at an impass."
Altaïr says: "No, we are at an end."
Al Mualim says. "Ah i will miss you Altaïr, you were my very best student."
they then fight
MEMORY 2:
In the brief AC1 "flashback," which shows brief parts of the Al Mualim fight, there is a new quote that Altaïr says after he killed Al Mualim, not present in AC1.
"Forgive me Mentor, but the apple corrupted you. And through you it would have corrupted us... for us to live, you had to die."
Later, Abbas asks him: "you believe Al Mualim fell under [The Apple's] spell?" To which Altaïr responds: "I do. Today he used the Apple to enslave Masyaf. You saw that for yourself."
Let me explain why Al Mualim WASN'T corrupted by the Apple. He was colluding with the templars before he had possession of the apple. He betrayed the templars, and sent Altaïr after them to secure the apple for himself. He knew the effects the apple had on people. We know this due to his collusion with the templars, being privy to their plans as Robert tells us, and being aware of the experments being performed to simulate the apple's effects by Garnier de Naplouse. He clearly had motive, believing that as long as men had freewill there could be no peace, which is why he probably collaborated with the templars in the first place, and he had planned this for awhile as evidenced by that conversation between him and Altaïr.
As is also evidenced by that conversation, Altaïr did not believe Al Mualim had been bewitched by the Apple by the time they were finished talking, Al Mualim was clear and direct about his plans and motivations prior to acquiring the apple during their conversation and everything he said is consistent with what robert told us. And once he no longer had the apple, during the confession scene, he doubled down on what he believed, so it's clear that in from Altaïr's perspective atleast he was of sound mind.
But all of a sudden in Revelations Altaïr is asking for forgiveness and saying the apple corrupted him? Neither of these things make sense so either Altaïr is forgetting everything that just happened, or something is wrong with this memory.
MEMORY 3 and 4:
I love these memories, but they make some changes from the AC1 Novelisation The Secret Crusade, that i really don't like, Im going to do my best to explain what happens in the novel briefly.
When Altaïr leaves to face Genghis Khan, he places Malik, his enemy turned best friend and the Rafiq of the Jerusalem Bureau, in charge of Masyaf and the Assassin's. After a few years Abbas kills Altaïr's youngest son and blames it on Malik, staging a coup, putting himself in charge, and imprisoning Malik. Altaïr returns from Asia and eventually finds Malik who tells him the truth, Malik then dies. Then Altaïr confronts Abbas and is driven out of Masyaf. When he returns to masyaf after years in exile, it isn't a random group of Assassin's he meets and immediately gets help from, it is Maliks son, also named Malik.
(Im going to call the father Malik Sr and the son Malik Jr)
The stuff with Malik Sr happened before the third mission starts, so this isn't a massive deal, im just upset it wasn't included.
Malik Jr on the other hand, as well as all of the things he does, and his conversations with Altaïr are completely gone.
Before Revelations release, this was the canon conclusion to Altaïr's story, some of Altaïr's Codex from AC2 is taken directly from this book. The book exists in the lore of Assassin's Creed.
So either the book is no longer canon, which can't be true because the codex pages from AC2 are from this book. Or, only certain parts of the book are canon (boring answer.) Or either Niccolo Polo or Altaïr are lying about the existence of Malik Jr (but y tho?) OR the memories are altered in some way.
MEMORIES 5 AND 6:
These memories are perfect, there's nothing about them i need to critique for this theory, however remember the voices that Altaïr hears in memory 6, it will be important later.
SOME EVIDENCE FROM AC MIRAGE???
let me explain what the memory seal are. They are only called "memory seals" by humans, we have no idea what the ISU would've called these devices. Altaïr found these seals below Alamut, which is where he spent his exile in the years between memories 3 and 4.
In Assassin's Creed Mirage we learn that the ISU chamber below Alamut was an ISU prison, and the seals are prison records. In Mirage we only see one of these seals, which contains a memory of Basim being tortured by "the jailer."
The Aesir, Odin, Freya, Tyr, and the other norse gods ruled what would later become Scandinavia, before the catastrophe.
Basim who now has loki's memories and personality, says at the end of AC Mirage: "i shed my skin once, in another time, another place. But i am whole again. I remember. And as for those who thought to bind me, should any of them still walk the earth, i so look forward to our reunion."
This indicates to me, that Basim was imprisoned by Odin and friends, and the prison must belong to them, meaning that Iran was also under Aesir control? i suppose? Modern AC has kinda screwed the continuity but i digress.
This means that this prison, which had clear prisoner mistreatment, to the point that it gave loki, and likely many others PTSD and probably far worse problems was being ran by a dictatorship (with Odin being the dictator.)
Now what im about to say is pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt.
These "memory" seals can probably be tampered with by the people in power in order to make up false confessions and maintain control over whatever narrative they want people to believe and by extention, the people.
The templars use the animus to record memories, but then release "inhanced" versions of these memories to the public, like with the abstergo entertainment game "Liberation." Assassin's Creed Liberation is literally an in universe game made by Abstergo. In the game a hacker will reveal to you how to unlock the true ending, the true version of a memory that was altered by abstergo. So is it really so far fetched to claim that the ISU were capable of doing something similar to this with their seals?
In the last two Altaïr memories, and the memory in Mirage, Altaïr and the Jailer are both using the seals as the memory is being recorded. However, in the first four memories Altaïr doesn't have the seals.
He had obtained them by the time we get to the fourth one, but it's unclear if he had them on him, and if he did, whether or not he was live recording the memory, however due to the inconsistencies in that memory and the fact we dont see him hold one in that memory i don't believe he did.
CONCLUSION:
As I've pointed out there are several issues with the continuity of these memories and AC1, AC2 and The Secret Crusade book. All of these issues are solved if we accept that the first four seals are not accurate memories.
Okay, but what's the reason they aren't accurate then?
There's two possibilities.
Firstly in Altaïr's old age he is misremembering important details of these older memories, which is why the later, more recent memories are more accurate. We know Altaïr is literally hearing voices by the time we get to his last memory, so is it really far fetched to suggest he may have a touch of dementia?
The second possibility, is that Altaïr has intentionally manipulated these memories.
The first question you might ask is, how would he even do that? Well I'll answer your question with another one: How do you even record a memory on a seal in the first place? I mean there's no buttons or instruction manual. I think both of these questions have the same answer, either the apple told him, or he figured it out.
Ok, so it's possible that if these seals can be manipulated like you claim, then Altaïr would easily learn how, i mean the apple showed him how to make a glock, so it's likely, but, erm, buckaroo, WHY WOULD ALTAÏR MANIPULATE THESE MEMORIES??? The answer is simple.
The first memory teaches compassion for all humans.
The second one teaches that the Apple can corrupt a man even as wise as Al Mualim.
The fourth one teaches that rousing the people to help achieve your goals will always work better than trying to do it alone.
These are the memories with the most inconsistencies, and this is because these memories have been altered in order to teach whatever future Assassin that finds them the lessons they will need to lead a Brotherhood. These lessons are ones Ezio has already learned by the time he finds them, so for him they are more about reflecting on his own life. It's also worth noting that Ezio taught many of Altaïr's lessons to Shao Jun.
I've wrote this in my notes app so apologies if the formatting isn't the best. Btw i came up with this myself, to my knowledge nobody has posted a theory similar to this. If you want to use my theory message me or something to tell me :) Im going to turn this into a video tommorow anyways, credit is appreciated.
So there you have it, thats my evidence, and that's my conclusion, what do ya'll think?

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

This was originally posted by midesaka little over a year ago. I noticed since then that there was an update that never got included in the original post. Only found it myself today scrolling back. Figured people today would enjoy it. I also need to credit Direct-Caterpillar77 for linking it in the megathread which is how I stumbled upon this.
OOP is OBlondeOne. I am not OOP. Reminder do not message or contact them, or comment in the linked posts below.
I've taken the text from the Original BORU. The new update is after 🔴🔴🔴
trigger warnings: verbal abuse, gaslighting, drug use
Original BORU
OOP delivers donated clothing to displaced fire victims. Woman demands coat OOP is wearing instead, then claims OOP threw donated clothing in ditch.
I am NOT OP. Original post by in on Sunday, February 26, 2023, with updates as comments on original post through Saturday, March 4, 2023.
Some people... - Sunday, February 26, 2023
[NOTE: I have added a couple of clarifying words in brackets to reduce quoting.]
I'm part of a local donation group, so every now and then, I get asked to help with clothes donations. Someone passes away or downsizes, and I will help wash, fold, sort, and deliver the clothes to various free stores. Sometimes, if we are notified of someone in the community in need, we will deliver essentials like winter or kids clothing to their house. We're just a group within the community -there is no religious, political or ulterior motive. We just spread extra through the community as needed as discreetly as possible to help out. This particular situation just hurts my head, and I'm still trying to figure out how it escalated the way it did.
So a few days ago there was a fire in our community which left 3 families displaced. We collected what we could in the sizes they needed, and off we went.
We dont ask for anything in return other than knowing the families are a little better off. We always apologize and explain that while they may not be they styles they're accustomed to ( as donated clothing ) but at least it is clean and warm. If they had specific needs to let a member of the group know and we would do what we can. A lot of our collected items belonged to other families whose children outgrew the items. It's anonymous and it's a way for our more comfortable community members to help out others within the community with this. It's one thing I love about my community - people don't hesitate to help where needed.
I was given an address and head out as usual. Pull in, get the bags and coats to the door and knock.
After that... I'm not sure what to think. It started off as it usually does. There was a mother and 3 children, so I explain that there are 3 bags of clothing in the sizes submitted, and a box of age appropriate toys just like with the other families.
I thought I heard wrong when she said she preferred my coat and just said what?
She called me rude and told me again,' This stuff is OK, but I want the coat you're wearing '.
When I told her, "No, I'm sorry, but I just bought this coat she got angry and accused me of picking through donation bags for "the good stuff."
I've never run into this issue before. None of the group members are well off. In fact, that's why we do what we do. Because life is hard here and we believe in sharing what we have as a community. We collect good quality items from those with extra and distribute it freely to those that need it or have specific needs. Sometimes we all take items from our own closets if they're needed more elsewhere. Last year we raised funds to help purchase a wheelchair accessible vehicle for a family. The year before it was a young family whose matriarch was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This years cause is to build 4 'tiny homes' for the homeless in our community to use as needed. Our goal is to provide stability so they can successfully reintegrate during and after addiction rehabilitation. We all do what we can to try to help, basically. It's a hard world to feel alone in.
Now, my coat is expensive ( $250 ) but I've also saved gift cards for 2 years and anxiously watched for post-season sales before finally taking the plunge and got it for 75% off. Maybe I messed up by wearing it on this errand? I don't know. After I said no, this is my coat a second time, she started yelling at me.
I just left the bags on the doorstep and drove away.
Today I wake up to a slew of texts from the group asking me to explain why I refused to give the mother any winter coats, and why I left everything at the end of the driveway... allegedly in a ditch? They aren't questioning. Most are downright accusatory. Some are just borderline mean.
It's the kind of day where I feel like giving up on this making the world a better place thing.
I've been where these families are. And people helped me just like this. I know what it feels like to rely on others... so I do try to be compassionate and understanding without being condescending or pitying. I don't often talk about what I do because nobody needs to know what came from where, or who is getting what. It's just paying it forward. I do this because it's been done for me, and it's the right thing to do. It's that simple.
But after today... I don't even want to reply to anyone. It's not just that woman. It's the texts that are getting kinda nasty at this point. It's these people obviously talking about me behind my back. It's how quick they were to assume I must have done this.
I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore after all this. I've been part of this for 5 years and have never had a complaint before. I feel betrayed by people I thought were my friends. It just all feels gross, dramatic and depressing now, and that's now how this is supposed to feel.
===
I could understand if this was, like, a fancy fur coat or something.
This is literally just a rather plain looking long coat that happens to be super warm.
I don't get it.

It's only been an official group with a board for about 4 months. But we have been doing this for 5 years now as a project of mine and the current board president that gathered consiserable traction and volunteers/funding as time went on.
They so need policies in place. If only to protect the clients that use the service. But as a new board we are all just learning the official ropes and red tape as we go.
The one person I thought I could count on is currently the one insisting this happened as the client describes.
I'm just so confused.

We did need a board in this case as we are partially federally funded- the community pantry is, anyways.
It's a requirement. Unfortunately.

I've had 1 out of 5 [members of the charity group] text asking if I'm ok, and what happened. The rest seem to believe that I did this.
I don't know how to move on from this. Because the truth will come out eventually in a community this small. It always does.
The question now is do I want to be involved with people like this. I don't think I can trust them after this.
===

Maybe take a breather from the group. The way they treated you is horrible.

The issue is I can't avoid them either. I'm going to have to answer eventually, either via text or in person.
The longer I wait, the worse it will be. I know that. But I just don't want to deal with this either. Small community. The truth will come out eventually.
But it's now obvious that I can't trust these people. No matter what's said after this, the damage has been done.

Update:
As suggested, I did text them as a group in bullet form stating facts only. ( edit: sorry for formatting. Copied from text ,)
'

1. Items were carried to front door as per usual
2. Client requested my personal attire
3. Client accused me of theft from donation bags
4. Client verbally abused me
5. I left the following on Client's doorstep : ½ bag of women's clothing sizes m-l : 1+½ bag children's clothing sizes 3-8 : 1x bag of assorted linens & towels : 1x box of assorted children's toys and books

I am trying very hard to understand the context of some of the messages I've received about this, and am truly confused as to why anyone would think I would purposefully degrade a Client. You all know my history and reasons I participate.
As I feel I no longer have a place of trust within our group, I am formally resigning from my roles within the committee, and the (group)
I will, with your blessing, remain on the Helping Tree as a contact'
So far the replies are very interesting. They range from apologetic to accusatory to narcissistic. The most interesting one so far, I think, was not intended for me and insinuated that this was for the best. I can't believe how naive I've been.
There's an emergency meeting being scheduled for next week, as apparently you're not just allowed to resign mid-term from a board like this without a valid reason. Which I think I have.
The benefit of this is my accuser also has to give an official statement in the meeting minutes because ive resigned. Which I'm allowed to attend and comment on. Which adds validity ti my reasons for resigning. Would it be petty if I wore my coat again, or should I choose something older? Genuinely asking. I don't want to make things worse. I just want out to do my own thing.
Rumors are already starting and seem to be in my favor. Small towns are terrific/terrible for that. And I've just been texted asking me to withdraw my resignation ' for fear this may cause an irreparable rift in our charitable group'.
I have 8 months left to my current term as Secretary. A position that requires the trust of the board members to record accurate notes. Which I no longer feel I have. I don't want my character unfairly questioned again after I've worked so damn hard to build it up.
My resignation was intended to prevent drama and divide. It is doing the opposite.
What would you do? I feel like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

Not allowed to resign? What are they going to do, ground you?

With a formal board, there are steps to take to remove a member of the core board ( pres, vice president, secretary, treasurer, committee heads).
Or so I'm being told. This may be a stall tactic. I'm going over the current bylaws and policies but it's small font and a hard read.

I'm surprised/touched by how many clients are defending me, but I think this is what is causing a lot of drama and distrust both within the organization and with those that use it. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by quietly resigning.
It just sucks, for lack of a better word. I feel like the religious have it wrong. It's not judge not lest ye be judged. It's just be judged these days.

Going forward, it needs to be mandatory that there be two delivery people on every delivery. No excuses. There will be people in the future that are in dire need of your group's services. Please do not let that woman's behavior stop you from helping those who appreciate your work. And bonus if the other helper has a phone's camera on . You have documentation, and they grow manners if they didn't already have them. Has anyone gone by the house again to see if there was really a ditch??

Oh my...
My dash cam! I'm going to check it.
Thank you! Thank you so much!

No audio. No clear AHA! moment.
But it does show enough.
It shows me pulling in, and that there's nothing on the porch. It shows the car moving slightly as I take the bags out, and it does show a bag being deposited on the porch as well as at least 2 coats/snowsuits.
As I back out you can almost see the whole porch. You do see her outside but the definition isn't good enough to see her face or what she's doing.
I'm also still not sure what proof-if any-has been submitted by my accuser(s).
Who, I'm told, has been dropped from the Helping Tree community pantry registry.
I'm actually starting to get very angry. That woman messed up. But she has 3 kids under her care that deserve to eat and be clothed. This is going way too far.

Update:
Ungrateful client is board presidents former sister in law.
And yes, they're still friendly.
Ah. Small towns... 🤷‍♀️
I can't wait for next week...

I KNEW IT! This whole fiasco smelled strongly of being COMPLETELY orchestrated! Typical small town intrigue and power struggle when there's only ONE that's struggling for the power! President wants you kicked out because you're a CO-FOUNDER and SHE wants to take ALL the accolades and applause from the community! Go get your reputation back, sweet Lady! You ARE needed and necessary to the community, if you weren't, you wouldn't have been doing this charitable work for FIVE years! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!

I'm trying to figure out how to walk away, but still acknowledge what's going on without hurting the board-they do good work that's needed. I can't torpedo that no matter how I feel.
And that's the problem.
I think I'm going to ask for an official board inquest -which is eithin my rights according to our by-laws - before I go. I can't see someone doing this over reputation or clout. I certainly hope not, anyways. But if the inquest finds this was planned ( who tf does this? ) I would have grounds to have the board President removed. It's not pettiness- I don't want to see this done to someone else.
But you're right. Something stinks here and it gets worse by the day. I'm going to look into [comment ends here]

I'm going to submit a statement to the board, with footage from my dash cam that shows at least 1 bag clearly on the porch.
Unfortunately, I forgot to itemize the coat/3 snowsuits & boots dropped off in my group text, so I do have to justify that one somehow.
I also just heard they dropped off another 3 bags to the woman, including winter gear. I think it's an attempt at damage control, but I also think they're moving in the wrong direction, given what I'm hearing from many.
If she tries to sell the excess, like many seem to think she will, this will all come to a head so much faster. Either way, I'm ironically the least invested in this around here at this point.
Small town drama ...

I admit, looking back, it is odd that I was given this client when others were closer. I had thought it may be because of scheduling conflicts but I'm finding that's not the case either
Interestingly, there are rumors going around that this was staged. I'm trying not to pay attention to rumors without proof but I'm starting to wonder....
I hate this with a passion. It all seems so damn stupid.
I'm still so confused. The meeting has been scheduled for Wednesday night ( 2 days time ).
I haven't decided if I'm going yet. I don't want this drama to derail what has been a good thing so far.
I may just submit my statement and resignation and leave it at that. Popular opinion is on my side so why make it worse?

I agree with this so much!! People have had to do that here in my town too. We have small groups that helps out the community that aren't in any organization or charitable groups, just themselves giving back. We had specific residents in town that were running their mouth and taking "donations" and selling them for money. Eventually these residents were burning through different community groups and established organizations and they would complain about each one saying they weren't helping and deliberately causing trouble. These groups did post on Facebook telling their sides of the situation, just like you suggested. Well those residents kept doing this and blaming people for not helping, blah blah blah. It didn't take long for the rest of the town to realize that these specific residents were pulling these scams and they were booted out of all the community groups in town. Sometimes you do have to stand up and tell your side to the community. Eventually the truth will come out.

You are brilliant!
After reading this I started thinking about other groups that this woman may have been a part of at her previous location.
Well. WELL.
I now have 4 witnesses to past behavior willing to come with me Wednesday from 3! groups that have been similarly burned by this woman.
The question is.. do I want to take it that far?
I do- and I don't.
I feel this has taken up far more valuable time, and it's taking away from the original purpose of the group.
I'm also being asked to submit my name for board president by the majority of the board for the upcoming term. So I'm being supported ( now ).
I still don't trust any of them to have my back should anything happen. And if I replace the Pres shit will happen.

[Comment was deleted, but basically said, "Wear your coat to the meeting, and bring the receipt for it!"]

I don't think I need to bring the receipt. They are all aware of when I got my coat, and what I paid for it.
I'm being told there are 2 board members who seem to think I'm blowing this out of proportion ( Pres and Treasurer ) and should just take the reprimand ' maturely'.
When ( if ) I go in Wednesday I'm just going to tell then simply that I feel I no longer have the trust required for my appointed position, and am respectfully resigning to prevent further drama.
Pass in my official resignation and walk away.
I've also discovered the emergency meeting is to consider 3 resignations-not just mine.

OP, defend yourself!!! There’s something fishy about this. Also, call CPS (anonymously?) and report her for being unstable.

No. I won't be petty and call CPS
Those kids don't deserve to be dragged into this, too.
===

Maybe you should start your own group with people you can trust?

I've actually been thinking of a fringe group for more rural locations that don't fall.within community boundaries.
This may just be divine intervention in disguise.

Update. The meeting.
My apologies This will be long.
As I parked, there were a couple that stopped to say hi, but the majority of the board did not acknowledge me. My accuser though.. she had a great laugh at my expense, and literally taunted me in front of the others on the way in. 'ooh here for more, are you? Guess you didn't get enough of me yet' and blows me a kiss.
She showed up with the Pres. I feel that's relevant. Especially seeming as she ran home.
The meeting started at 6 pm. I was not allowed to sit at the table until the issue was brought up... I sat, alone, for over 45 minutes. Finally someone peeked outside at 6:53 ( to see if I was still there? ) and called me in.
My accuser wasn't there. I say down and the first thing said to me was ' well. We may have made a mistake' followed by this big flowery apology that stank of bullshit and was gaslit better than a propane stove.
'You know that when a complaint comes in, we have to investigate it'
At that point I just exploded. Like... I didn't even talk to my kids like that when they were babies. It was the kind of tone you have when talking to the very simplest of minds.
I told them there's a massive difference between investigating and outright accusing, and that I didn't appreciate how their ineptitude at leading a board nearly derailed the whole organization and just put a really bad light on what we were doing. She says ' by unanimous decision, we've decided not to accept your resignation. Welcome back'
I've likely been this confused before, but I don't remember when. I was expecting this to be much harder. I had a factual speech ready and everything. Walked in and it was just 'we oopsied, oh well teehee'
'Well that's unfortunate that you refuse to accept it, because it's given and I'm not rescinding it. I'm out. And it seems you all know exactly why. For those who have reached out to me- I'll consider your offer of leading this board, but at this time, I'm not comfortable with the lack of trust and transparency I'm seeing. ' and left.
My phone has been blowing up all night. I meant to update immediately but it just kept ringing and tinging. I don't even know how so many found out ( good old gossip is my guess ) but I had over 30 calls and just as many texts/social media messages.
So. What hspprned while i was waiting outside.
My accuser decided to get on something pre-meeting. Literally acted like a wild animal at one point. I'm told it was so bad that the police and Child Protection Services were called by 4 of 5 ladies present, and when told they were called, my accuser took off running home. That's a whole 'nother story. The kids are now safe, I'm told. There's that.
The versions I'm hearing are surprisingly similar, for once. So I'm going to tell you the events as I was told.
Pres' husband is apparently an addict. Who gets his stash from the sis in law/accuser. I'm not clear on the details but I'm told blackmail was involved. Common word says she threatened to spill the beans on hubby. You know how it goes. Get hurt, get prescription, get hooked, get cheaper street drugs because they're cheaper and no doctor regulates them/questions your dose. There's a rumor he is also sleeping with sustained in law but this is not confirmed... but has been going around for the better part of a year now. Maybe I should start listening to more rumors because I had no idea.
Accuser started off normal, if ' twitchy'. She went to the washroom and shit allegedly went sideways not long after she came out. At one point she was laying on the floor, ' slithering and grunting' like an animal'. I wish I could have seen it, but kinda glad I didn't.
When Accuser left, it swayed the remaining 2 votes my way. There was a discussion on how to ' handle' me where the Pres just said she'll follow the board on the vote after they shot down her suggestion that the complaint still be addressed. The way she glared at me when I came in ( yes, wearing my coat! ) tells me she was not happy about it either.
The vote was unanimous to keep me. I did not wish to stay after all that.
Tomorrow they have an open board meeting to tell people what happened, as transparency is ironically a promise we made to the community so they know exactly who and what they're supporting. I won't be there. But a lot of angry and confused people will be. I'm glad I'll be missing it, but I have a feeling I'll hear all about it. I'm told there will be some calling for Pres' resignation. We shall see, I guess.
I started this feeling lower than low. Tonight I'm surrounded by positivity and I feel GOOD about this decision. Is this Karma? It feels like Karma.
Steps are already being taken to form what we will call The Fringe Farm. We will collect fresh farm goods donated by local farmers and deliver to homes that need a little extra, focusing on those that live between communities and people new to rural life. Eventually I hope to offer clothing and household goods, but I need to find a source outside the community so I'm not taking from the original group.
I also have a preliminary board. Comprised of 3 of 5 members of the original board haha
I've told then they have to finish their term at the group (because they do damn good work, and it's not fair to those that need them to just walk away-hypocritical? Msybe. But i refuse to torpedo the group ). 2 still submitted resignations because they're just floored by that last meeting. Theirs was depending upon mine, so their exit meetings are being scheduled for next week. Because they no longer have a secretary to record minutes I'm being asked to. I'm also being asked to submit my name for Pres should the current one agree to resign.
I haven't decided if I will. I feel that will come across as petty, and tbh it's no longer my business.
Thank you for the encouragement. I'm not sure if I would have had the courage to attend if not for the overwhelming kindness and support shown here. By strangers. * shakes head*. You have no idea how much this meant to me when I needed it.
Thank you.

Update #2.
The open meeting was a shitshow, I'm told.
Pres was called to resign. Refused.
So the board resigned. The group is now being led by the Pres and that's it. So it's essentially dead. You need minimum 3 board members to continue as a registered charity/nonprofit. Nobody ( out of approx 50 ppl ) raised a hand when asked if they wanted to join.
The Fringe Farm, by comparison, has more volunteers than we can organize. This is the group started after you lovely folks helped me decide staying wasn't worth the trouble.
I have mixed feelings over this. One.. it's nice to feel validated. The other... I really don't like how this went down for too many reasons to count.
Our first task as a new org?
Writing an iron clad policy everyone agrees with. Including specific steps to collect, file and address complaints or concerns.
Reminder - I am not the original poster.
🔴🔴🔴
Some People... ( update 2 ) Posted March 28th 2023
Update #2
The Aftermath
It's been... interesting.
The old group has dissolved. Nobody wanted to work with the pres anymore after all that. They held an emergency meeting to try to figure out why most of the board submitted their resignations and it was a shitshow of Pres accusing the remaining board members of conspiring against her, which caused the last remaining board members to also resign over time.
My new board ( Fringe Farm ) is thriving. We've taken over collection and distribution in our area and 2 others as we've merged with 2 other small groups to tap more resources.
Imagine my shock and surprise when the original offender called my Treasurer and asked to be put on the list... of course we did help her but we took the Secretary's minivan and all 7 of us went as a group. When we got there it was the former Pres husband that answered the door.
Our first task was to have an ironclad board policy that states anyone accused of wrongdoing will be spoken to privately by the pres and vice pres ( neither are me-i prefer to work behind the scenes ) prior to anything else.
I'm hearing rumors that the former board pres (P) isn't doing well. When the shit hit the fan her husband left her for sis in law and they've been ' methed up ' ever since.
I honestly feel bad for her. They have no kids and now it's just her... we are having a meeting next week and I believe we are going to invite P onto our board in a non-authority role. After hearing everything that went down afterwards... she's had to get a job and they're currently trying to sell their house amid divorce proceedings so I guess the rumor he was getting a little more than drugs from sis in law was accurate after all. Rumors say P is in massive debt thanks to her husband addiction. I don't think she should have to go through it all alone. I also think her situation was causing her an immense amount of stress and that's why everything happened as it did. She knows she messed up. There's no need to rubbing salt in her wounds.
Reflection:
This has been a very eye opening experience into how our personal lives can seriously affect our moods and actions, I think.
We never really know what someone else is going through, and why they behave the way they do. Part of me wishes I knew so I could have handled it better on my end. Part of me is still raging/hurt at how it all went down.
Hurt people hurt people. It's sad but so very true.
Original post : https://www.reddit.com/EntitledPeople/comments/11cmv5l/some_people/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Update #1 : https://www.reddit.com/EntitledPeople/comments/124id5some_people_updates/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Some additional comments

You are very kind to want to help someone who tried to ruin your reputation. If you ask her to join your new organization, this should be contingent on a very serious conversation about a lot of subjects. Her husband left her for a family member and drugs, and that's pretty fucked up and awful. However, that doesn't give her an excuse to take it out on someone who wasn't even remotely involved. If this kind of behavior is out of character for her, then sure, have the discussion. If this is how she always is, save yourself a major headache and just let her go. As for the SIL, she should be put on some kind of a list. Stop helping her.

OOP:
Sis in law is not being helped by our group, but I did refer her to another that has not had dealings with her yet, and gave them a heads up that this person needs help but is unstable due to 'current life choices'. She had kids who are blameless in all this that don't deserve to be left out, should she get them back.
I think I forgot to mention that she temporarily lost her kids over her animilistic outburst at the meeting? Too many witnesses and too many complaints I guess. And as her and P's husband are blowing through cash like theres no tomorrow on drugs its unlikely to resolve itself anytime soon.
( and yes, its been confirmed that at least 1 of the 3 children are P's husbands, possibly 2 )
As for P... I feel for her. I really do think all of this was a desperate control tactic because she had none in her personal life. I get it.. I think. My life, from the outside, looks perfect. Good kids, great partner, great and satisfying job, decent home & car ... and people ( seem to ) like me.
I don't want her left alone. Depression is a terrible thing, and it makes no sense to help a community while ignoring someone within it that's obviously not ok.
I will definitly proceed with caution in case P has not learned her lesson but leaving her out feels wrong.

Please forgive me for being incredibly late to these posts - I’ve just read the whole saga through (twice!) as it takes me back to a former life where my role included managing volunteers and ah, the memories this brings back! These kind of voluntary groups do amazing work (and you sound like a truly fantastic individual, OP) but it can get so messy and so cliquey and people can become very protective of their little fiefdoms. These groups are fantastic when all is going well, but once things start going wrong it can all fall apart incredibly quickly. The only way round it (as you’re doing) is to have robust and even-handed policies in place and stick to them. I know you’re not doing this for praise or thanks, but I do think you should recognise your own value and allow yourself at the very least a tiny pat on the back, not because of this situation per se, but because the speed with which you’ve established your new group and how quickly your old group fell apart without you indicates what an effective and impactful leader you are. Even if you don’t see yourself that way, it’s clearly how your community does.

OOP:
We offered one-time temporary help. Our unofficial misdion is 'we don't refuse anyone because we don't know their story'.
I also think many of our volunteers were curious/nosy and that's why we've been able to have such a large group so quickly. Sadly, I'm well aware that some help just for the gossip and we haven't been operational long enough to root those out yet to divert to positions where they can't collect potentially harmful gossip.
The second request she made ( the very next week... making her total 3x requests for clothing & food over 3 weeks just over our 2 groups ) was passed on to another group as nobody wanted to get involved, and I'm not allowed to get involved on my own ( our by-law to prevent drama: 'Once a conflict has been reported the accused is not to have any involvement with the donation or distribution of goods to the accuser.' This also serves to protect our volunteers from frivolous accusations or personal vendettas. )
REMINDER: Do not comment in posts linked here. It is a violation of Rule 7

EDIT 1: Adding a TLDR and disclaimer about the writing as some people seem frustrated with the length and the level of editorializing I've done. I also saw it pointed out a spoiler about Dragon Heist and I have edited the post accordingly.
EDIT 2: After some thought, I'm actually going to delete the entire list of "miscellaneous red flags" as they aren't incredibly relevant to the story at hand and considering the length of the story I probably should have pared it down a little before posting.
TLDR: A member of this dnd group was extremely micromanagey and two-faced while the dungeon master could not bring themselves to communicate their issues with my character. They, as well as the server owner, came to the conclusion I was some sort of predator for having done what they refer to as 'rrp' with an 18 year old when I was 21. They deleted the server and blocked me.
DISCLAIMER FOR EVERYTHING BELOW: This horror story is extremely fresh for me as it just happened this week, so I won't lie- I do a lot of venting and editorializing in this post. If that's not something that you want to read, then this post is not for you. Mods, if that is not allowed, please feel free to delete this post or whatever. The catharsis of posting was enough for me.
This was my first time playing DND. The fallout just happened this week, so it's all pretty fresh still for me.
Here is the cast of people in this saga. There are two campaigns that will be mentioned so I’ve provided information on both, though the player characters are not as important as the players themselves- save for one of my own. (Names have been changed to protect the identities of all involved.)
Myself
I am your narrator.
Dragon Heist Campaign: I played a half-elf cleric
Call of the Deep Campaign: I created a water genasi bard.
Maddie
They are my friend and co-narrator.
Dragon Heist Campaign: they played a drow monk
Call of the Deep Campaign: they played an elf warlock
Jesse
They took an active part in this horror story.
Dragon Heist Campaign: They played a half-goliath dhampir hemomancy wizard
Call of the Deep Campaign: Jesse was the DM for this campaign.
Kane
They took a semi-active part in this horror story.
Dragon Heist Campaign: Kane was the DM for this campaign.
Call of the Deep Campaign: They played a hobgoblin rogue
Cassidy
They took a semi-active part in this horror story.
Dragon Heist Campaign: they played a tiefling bard
Call of the Deep Campaign: they played a “fiend-touched aasimar” warlock
Anita
They are not an active participant and will not come up very much.
Dragon Heist Campaign: They played a tiefling artificer
Call of the Deep Campaign: They did not participate in this campaign.
Mandy
They were kicked early in the Dragon Heist campaign due to compatibility issues.
Dragon Heist Campaign: They played a fire genasi Cleric of Helm
Call of the Deep Campaign: They did not participate in this campaign.
Penny
They are not an active participant and will not come up very much.
Dragon Heist Campaign: They played an aasimar paladin
Call of the Deep Campaign: they played a sea dragon?? I actually wasn't completely sure what their character’s race and class was.
I responded to a post Cassidy had made on lfg. They created a discord server and invited myself, Kane, Jesse, Mandy, and Anita. Kane was going to DM a module- dragon heist. Great. We go into character creation. This is my first time doing all of this, but I've listened to enough DND media to know (or rather, to think) that a lot of backstory is good. So, I took a pre-existing OC of mine and I created a backstory for her in faerun.
I wrote, altogether, 19 pages of backstory. I understand now that this was not good, though at the time I received a lot of very positive feedback from Kane as well as Jesse- who was a very close friend of Kane's and seemed to be helping them get things set up.
In my character's backstory, I gave her a plot hook with a missing wife. This wife character was not originally my character- they were my friend, Maddie's character. I got Maddie's permission to use her OC in my character's backstory, and didn't consider doing anything more. This wife character’s backstory was a part of that 19 pages of backstory, as was a lot of other stuff. This was a mistake for so many reasons and I cannot overstate my regret in having done this. I genuinely did not think anything of it, at the time. Again, I got good feedback from the DM and their friend. I got permission from my friend to use their character and didn’t think to put a disclaimer that this character wasn’t mine. This was so stupid of me, and it is relevant later down the line.
What will also be relevant later down the line is my age, and Maddie’s age. I am 25 and Maddie is 22. We met in a community discord server for a less known anime, at which point they had just turned 18 and I was 21. In this public discord server is where we began to ship our OCs together and rp them as a couple. Does that information not seem super relevant? Just keep it in the back of your mind.
Anyway, we get past character creation. I connect my half-elf cleric to Cassidy’s tiefling Bard and we intertwine their backstories. I am a rather shy person, and am a little excited to have made a friend. Everyone was incredibly nice and I was really excited for my first ever DND campaign.
Session 0 happens and we go over expectations. Everyone seems to be on the same page, we do some practice combat- it’s great. Session 1 happens, and Mandy has her cleric of helm murder a person in broad daylight. They also flirted with Jesse’ wizard and then seemingly the straw that broke the camel’s back was that they also provided the DM with only one paragraph of backstory after two weeks of being asked for character backstory, and were thus summarily kicked from the server and blocked by Kane, Jesse, and Cassidy.
Kane decides they want to redo session 1 and invite 2 new people, for a total of 6 players. I ask if my friend Maddie can join, because at this point I was feeling incredibly anxious and wanted somebody I knew in the group. They said that Maddie could join, and they brought in another person from the LFG reddit. This person did not last 24 hours in the server before Kane kicked and blocked them for not being “communicative enough.”
Thus, Penny was brought in. As far as I could tell, Penny was Kane’s friend. Jesse was pretty mean and condescending to them in my opinion but that’s none of my business, just my opinion.
Scheduling conflicts begin happening for the Dragon Heist Campaign. People in the server would communicate pretty regularly, and it was in these conversations that it came out that my Selunite’s missing wife was Maddie’s character. Nothing is said to me or Maddie about it; nothing to indicate that this was any cause for pause or discomfort in Kane, Cassidy, Jesse, Penny, or Anita.
During this time Jesse decides they want to run their own campaign- Call of the Deep. They prove themselves to be incredibly difficult to collaborate with. I don’t know how to describe character creation with them other than I felt like I was trying really hard to tell them what they wanted to hear about my character and it felt like I kept coming up short. For this Call of the Deep Campaign, I wanted to have a water genasi cleric of umberlee who was delusionally and utterly devoted to and in love with Umberlee. I made it incredibly clear that I did not expect Umberlee to return her affections. She was supposed to be a little whimsical; a little off her rocker. Jesse wants her to transform into an aberration of some kind- I agree, I think that sounds cool. They suggest she be a child of prophecy, and then when I tried to run with that they immediately backtrack and say that wouldn’t work, umberlee wouldn’t be a large part of this campaign, and my character couldn’t be a child of prophecy for any cults because there wasn’t any cults in the material that have to do with the water (This is verbatim, I don’t have access to our conversations anymore as I now have Jesse blocked. I can’t promise that this is 100% a faithful representation but I am doing my best to relay this as best I can from memory.)
At one point they try to convince me to make my character’s deity Valkur instead. I let them know that I didn’t really vibe with Valkur as her patron deity, and they get pissy about it and tell me to just “choose a God” or “They can choose a God for me.” I really don’t want my character to be connected with religion anymore, since it seemed to be an issue.
So I make my character a bard with commitment issues. They nitpick little details of her backstory- “why is she from cormyr? Don’t you know that’s landlocked?” (She grew up in Cormyr, left at around 19, and has lived near the water since.) “What is her connection to the water?” (Her whole thing is literally that she’s a free spirit who can’t be tamed, just like the ocean. She left home to be around the ocean.) “Do you really want her to be friends with XYZ character? They’re explicitly not connected to the plot” (They’re a player character, so they’re about as connected to the plot as I am. Yes, I want them to be friends.) After a lot of not-super-fun character creation with Jesse I have a character with a bland backstory, no plothooks of her own, and no personal goals or desire or anything beside “be adventurer, make money.” She was just going to turn into an aberration and eventually fuck off to the bottom of the ocean. (I was explicitly told by Jesse that was what was going to happen once I reached a certain level/stage of her transformation.) Yay.
We go through Jesse’ session 0, during which they yell at Penny and completely shut down ideas she proposed for her character. What they allow in their game is obviously their prerogative, but they literally raised their voice at this person in this session 0 voice call and was altogether rather rude about shutting down their suggestions. I quit their campaign the next day due to a scheduling conflict that came up on the day they wanted to play. They message Maddie to ensure that she would still play if I’m not there. She said she would.
We do session 1 for the Dragon Heist Campaign. It’s fun! Kane is a genuinely talented DM. They even put a story hook for my character’s wife! That was not something I had expected and it made me really happy. Jesse hogged a lot of RP moments and derailed the party from the task at hand (talking to an NPC so we could meet a crime lord of some kind) so they could question and interrogate an NPC that had already been questioned and interrogated, but it was good. I was so inspired and excited I wrote a diary entry from my character's point of view referencing characters in her backstory and her wife and her feelings on the things that just occurred. I share this with the group.
That brings us to this week. The following account is from Maddie herself, as I was not a part of the following conversation.
“What started as a normal conversation- discussing my character with Jesse in DMs for the Call of the Deep campaign, and the possibility of her death within the campaign. I’d mentioned, then, having a backup character that could fit with the module, adding offhand that she was a character I’d played before in another campaign. Jesse completely flipped their lid over this- saying in a LOT of words and paragraphs that they thought it was borderline disrespectful to recycle a character from one campaign to the next or to bring in a premade character with a pre-thought up backstory, that it completely takes out the DMs agency in character creation. I have every screenshot from the conversation if you’re feeling nosy, in which I politely stated that I’d never heard that perspective before and I was sorry for not knowing.
Jesse went on and on about how bringing in pre-existing characters is an awful thing to do to a DM since it *forces* the DM to change the setting to fit the character- leaving very little room for me to even reply. Then, they went on to bring up, in a nasty way, about the 19 pages of backstory that had been written for my friend’s character in the other campaign and how they’d absolutely hate it if a player did that to them as a DM, especially taking issue with the ‘missing wife’ plothook in the character’s backstory, saying that they’re so annoyed because it's going to derail the rest of the campaign and it doesn’t fit with the plot at all. I responded that if they have so much of an issue with it then bring it up to the DM, and I stated that I didn’t feel comfortable with them talking about my friend that way.
This, of course, caused Jesse to backpedal HARD, apologizing profusely to the point of very obviously trying to make me feel bad for setting that boundary, and even going to far as to message my friend and apologize even more profusely- even though I’d never given any indication that I had shared this private message with my friend. “I don’t want it to seem like I don’t like having either of you in my game or Kane’s”, they’d said, despite having never said anything nice about my friend or either of her characters. Anything.”
As Maddie mentioned, following their conversation with her, Jesse reached out to me regarding their conversation. I also have screenshots of what they said to me which I can provide upon request. I will provide direct quotes here:
“can i please preface what i'm about to tell you by saying i 100% support you playing [my character’s name].
[Maddie] and i got into a discussion? slash argument? earlier about using pre-existing characters in a setting that didn't fit and I brought [my character’s name] into it as an example of bringing a ton of backstory that forces the dm to write those characters in without thinking that might make her uncomfortable and seem kind of underhanded
I did not mean to imply I have any issue with your character or what you are planning to do, and that example was meant purely to explain to her what my viewpoint on the matter was, but I lost the plot on it and made her uncomfortable, but if you hear about it I want to have told you already that I really like [my character’s name] and I fully support her in her endeavours
I would be happy to explain my stance on it to give that discussion context also, since I have been half dreading writing this message/ messages since i did NOT know how to word it
Basically I (mostly accidentally) implied that [my character’s name] was a character that brought too much from an existing canon when I was meaning to use her as an example to compare against [Maddie’s character’s name](who adopted mannerisms and vibes tm but not a ton of backstory elements) and I was not fully clear on what the comparison was for or to what extent, so I'm sorry about that. I don't want to seem like i was talking about you behind your back and I certainly do not want you to think I have a problem with you playing her.
i was not trying to make it seem like [my character’s name] was an issue
i was trying to compare her to [Maddie’s character’s name] in order to explain where on that spectrum of Bring Personality to Bring Everything i preferred”
I was aware of the argument they had had prior to receiving these messages from Jesse. I wasn’t aware to what extent they had bashed my character, though I was aware my character had come up. This is pure conjecture on my part, but I speculate that was what Jesse was banking on and took advantage of my ignorance to the situation as a way to “get in front” of the coming implosion. They sent these messages to me Tuesday May 7th at 11pm and I did not see them until the following morning. I notice they are in vc with Kane- not something strange in and of itself as people were often on voice call with each other, except for the fact it was before 11am on a wednesday.
I would also directly post my response to them, but again, I have blocked this person on discord and deleted our dms. The screenshots I had taken were to assure Maddie that the matter looked to be at rest. That all said, I accepted their apology and assured them that “everyone puts their foot in their mouth sometimes” and that I do not hold anything they may or may not have said in relation to my character against them.
They assure me that they never meant to make me or Maddie unwelcome and that they love me and they love Maddie and consider us friends even though we’ve only known each other a short while; that they appreciated my response.
I go to work. I occasionally check my phone (as one does) and notice that they are still in vc with Kane. I still think it’s weird to be on voice call for hours during the morning and day hours during the weekdays but quite frankly I had other things to focus on and didn’t think much of it.
Then, a message is put in the “Call of Deep” category of the discord server. Jesse informed the group that “things had come up and they no longer felt comfortable dming this campaign”.
I see this message, and then several minutes later and I am no longer able to see that category. At first I thought it was deleted, but upon clicking on Jesse and Kane’s profiles in the discord server I could still see that they were in the ‘call of the deep’ voice call channel. I figure they wanted a private conversation and I left it to rest. Maddie was distressed because she thought it was all her fault that they canceled the campaign; that setting a boundary with them had elicited this response from Jesse. I reached out to them to poke around and see if that was the case and they assured me in no uncertain terms that it was not. “Hey, it’s not actually related to that! It’s something else I don’t feel super at liberty to talk about rn”
That “thing” they weren’t “super at liberty” to talk about right now, in hindsight, was me! I obviously didn’t know that at the time. I accepted that answer and went about my day.
Later in said day, I want to say around 3-4pm, I notice that the entire server is gone. I try to reach out to Cassidy (server owner): blocked. I try to contact Kane: wouldn’t you know it, I’m blocked! Lastly, already knowing what is about to happen, I try to contact my dear friend, Jesse. I’m so sure you can guess what happened: I found that I was blocked.
I am sure I do not need to state to you all how utterly blindsided I was by this. I did DM Cassidy on her reddit account in my panic, but ended up blocking her after sending the message. (It was something along the lines of “Hey what on earth happened?” Followed by “Jesus, I actually don’t care” before I blocked her account.) I went through and blocked them all back on discord and closed our DMs so I didn’t have to see it. I also blocked Anita and Penny for good measure. Maddie was just as confused as I was- to us at the moment, it seemed like Jesse had twisted our words or told Kane and Cassidy some made up story about the argument they’d had with Maddie and got us both kicked from the server as a result. It was an incredibly upsetting thing to have happened- and incredibly confusing, considering both our conversations with this person ended on a civil (if not positive) note.
It was only going to get more upsetting. Maddie eventually discovered that she was not blocked by Jesse and, of course, asked what had happened. Again, this was not a conversation I participated in (obviously) so I will leave it to Maddie to recount this conversation as well.
“Quote: “Kane did the math and decided they weren’t comfortable roleplaying your romance rp character [friend’s character’s wife], that you were doing, at minimum, RRP with right when you turned 18. The whole thing reeked of like, children being involved in rp stuff and then shoving that character onto Kane, we talked about it and decided that the lack of honesty was unfair to Kane and to the rest of the group and then Kane decided that the game wouldn’t continue. The server was deleted and they decided it was prudent not to give you a means to communicate.
“I didn’t block you because i have no beef and i wanted to give you the chance to reach out and get some explanation, but we were al kinda sketched by the fact that you had romance rp stuff going on between a fresh 18 year old and a 22 year old”
The conversation wrapped up civilly from there, with Jesse stating that ‘ghosting was the least mad i could get them’.”
I was not 22 years old when we started shipping our characters. I was 21. I was 4-5 months from turning 22, if that fucking matters. I don’t see why it should. I wouldn’t even call what we were doing at the time ‘rrp’ (which is such a dumb fucking phrase, by the way) as I feel that phrase implies that our rp interactions were specifically to fulfill some kind of romantic fulfillment. It wasn’t- it was a shared story arc in a public group rp on a community discord server.- that, by the way, was incredibly well-moderated for the safety of the members as there were actual minors in the server. Everything was family friendly, SFW- whatever you want to call it. Our characters had closer relationships with other characters in this group rp as well. It wasn’t not a specific ‘romance’ thing. Both Maddie and I have clear boundaries between ourselves and our characters and just wanted to collaborate to tell a story. (Something this group would have known if they had bothered to ask before assuming.)
As an side, however, Maddie was 18 fucking years old. She could gamble, enlist in the military, rent her own apartment, move across- or out of- the country, smoke, etc. She was a high school graduate and enrolled in college. She was not a child and she could have dated other 21, 22, 23 year olds at her campus. I agree that it would have been creepy for me to have formed a friendship with Maddie if I had been like, 35. At the age of 25 I wouldn’t reach out to form a friendship with an 18 year old girl over the internet. However, I was 21. Neither of us before this incident have ever given any thought to our ages.
This was also literally 4 years ago- she’s 22 years old now. The fact they took it upon themselves to “do the math” on our friendship is so incredibly invasive and such an overstep that the fact they saw me as “icky” or “sketchy” for having formed a friendship and done “rrp” with Maddie is actually laughable.
This is also shared with her explicit permission, but Maddie is a twice over victim of online grooming, as a much younger teenager by much older people. They feel both disgusted and disrespected by the trivialization of their actual lived experience by making the implication that there was any sort of predatory or grooming aspect to our friendship.
I personally am appalled that, after being as kind as I could to these people, that they would make such heinous evaluations of my character and put so many implications on my friendship with Maddie. Did they think we were in some way romantically involved? Did they think I sought Maddie out as a minor specifically to groom them for romantic and sexual roleplay scenarios, and then wanted to recreate that with Kane for my own romantic fulfillment? I’ve spent the past 48 hours feeling genuinely sick.
For my part, however, I am so sad to have made Kane uncomfortable and I realize why they would have been. It would have been incredibly easy for them to just TELL ME they were uncomfortable with or disliked certain aspects of my character’s backstory. I would have been more than happy to change things, omit the “wife” plothook- whatever. The fact they could not directly communicate their feelings is A) not my problem B) a skill issue on their part. I want to clarify the wife plothook was included to A) give my character a motivation relating to her backstory B) keep others from trying to form a romance with my character (as I did not want to do arcs involving romance during my first dnd campaign, despite what they evidently thought- I guess that this was a poor way of trying to achieve that goal, though.) C) just because I liked the fucking character. Having Maddie’s character in my character’s backstory was not a “deal breaker” for me at ALL. Not to mention all of this was so new to me. My only other dnd experience was a jokey new years eve oneshot when I was 19. I wanted to be a good player so badly and would have welcomed any feedback or criticism.
I don’t know if they’ll see this post. I went through and blocked at least two of these people on every social of theirs that I knew of, as I quite frankly do not ever want to encounter them again, but this is a throwaway, so who knows. If they do see this, however, I have this to say directly to them:
You specifically did not want to give me the chance to defend myself against the disgusting and baseless things you said about me, but that’s not a call you get to make. I couldn’t do so in a private conversation with any of you, so I’m going to air it all out here in a public forum instead. You’re apparently so concerned for Maddie and I’s friendship that you would go so far as to delete the campaign and tell her how ‘ick’ and ‘sketch’ it was that we starting shipping our characters at 18 and 21 (you said 22, I’d like to inform you that your math was off, bestie!) but you put my supposed ‘victim’ in a situation where they had to defend me, the supposed ‘predator’? If any of your accusations were actually true, that would be so incredibly sick. It’s already actually pretty messed up to have put Maddie in that situation multiple times even without the context of your accusations against me. I seriously hope you self-reflect and get the help that all three of you clearly need. Please take a break from your computer (You especially, Jesse!) and go touch some grass. Love you besties xo xo!!!
Anyway, I hope that the interpersonal dnd drama bullshit that has consumed the past week of my life has entertained you all. I did see on lfg that they’re recruiting for a new campaign, so I hope my experience isn't repeated by someone else. Again, the screenshots that Maddie and I have are available upon request. You all can think whatever you want about me. I know where I went wrong and I know I am not perfect nor am I blameless here; I genuinely feel terrible that I made Kane so uncomfortable with my character and her backstory. I just wish they had told me so I could have fixed it. In my opinion, this pales however to the way they immediately jumped to the worst conclusions about me as a person when I had been nothing but kind to them all. I will not be playing another ttrpg for a very long time. This is not an experience I care to repeat.

First of all I'm not reviewing "for" anything in particular, just me and my friends own amusement and I've decided to post them here (mods willing). The only other place I'm posting these is in a private discord server for my real life friends. If I'm breaking some rule (I don't think I am) then I'm sure someone will let me know.
For some background, I have seen TOS, TNG, and Voyager a long time ago, and Discovery more recently. My plan is to watch DS9, then SNW. I put off watching DS9 for far too long. I'm not starting my reviews from the start of the series, as I'm currently in the middle of season 3 and want to start the reviews from here. I wasn't very taken with most of the first 2 seasons of DS9, to be honest it was kind of a chore. That being said, like other Treks I've seen, it gets better with time as the writers and production figure things out. Season 3 has been a good watch, my reviews start with episode 17 and I'll be doing them through the end of the series and will post them here if there's any interest. This will be a long post, since I'm dropping 3 reviews at once to avoid having to clog the subreddit with so many postings. Without further ado:
Season 3 Episode 17: Visionary
Episodes centered on Colm Meaney aka Chief O’brien usually hit well for me, as I like the character. Partly from TNG nostalgia and partly because I like the portrayal of the “blue collar”, working class man in a Federation uniform. The majority of Federation officers are portrayed as sophisticated, refined people with eclectic tastes and opinions. O’brien is more relatable than most- A family man, who does his job, does it well, then fucks off to the pub for a pint and some darts. If the Dropkick Murphys were a band in the 24th century, they would write a song about Chief O’brien.
A thought I had upon seeing the first few scenes with the Romulans in this episode, and one that pertains to many episodes and many Trek races: non-Federation factions nearly universally have the worst diplomacy skills. Even among allies, they are always standoff-ish, rude, with no interest in relationship building or respecting the customs and practices of others. It helps prop up the Federation by comparison, as they usually seem to be the only ones that actually seem to value a respectful and informed approach to diplomacy. They’re also one of the only multi-species factions in the Alpha Quadrant. Makes ya think, what came first; the Xenophobic power structure or the urge to be a dickhead at all times?
It’s also funny that as I’m writing this I got to a scene where Sisko is talking to Nerys, and impressing on her the importance of acting diplomatic towards the Romulans even though they are making coarse and somewhat unreasonable demands. Then, the next scene is her immediately yelling at the Romulans. Nerys is definitely one of those edge-cases, and a hothead, who doesn’t necessarily fit the Federation “mold” but everyone gives her a pass because she’s Bajoran. I couldn’t see her as an officer on the Enterprise for example, both Picard and Riker would have bristled at her temper, especially when displayed on duty. At times she’s an interesting or endearing character, but at others she acts quite unbecoming. The dignity and repose of your standard Starfleet officer is one of my favorite things about them, I don’t like seeing them fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. I realize that her position as the official representative of Bajor in Starfleet gives her more leeway as she has a certain level of “diplomatic immunity” but still.
One thing I liked about this episode was the mundane-ity that the crew treats temporal anomalies with. I’m probably remembering somewhat wrongly, but in TNG time travel was treated as more novel and mysterious even though it seemed to happen enough that there should be more training around them. In this episode they react more how I would expect Starfleet to treat it- not as an “everyday” thing, still a bit of a mystery, but one that is investigated as a matter of course. O’brien saw a copy of himself in Quark’s? Check for temporal anomalies. Found ‘em. That’s future you, Chief. We scanned the lower subspace bandwidths and found tetryon emissions. Might be a singularity buried far down in subspace layers. Temporal displacement is a side effect of disrupting the Chief’s delta-series radioisotopes. Everyone knows something about this, the knowledge isn’t relegated to one mystical or super smart character. The engineer, the doctor, the station commander, his first officer, the chief science officer, and the constable all barely wrinkle their brains thinking about this and have varying levels of input. I dig it.
A quote that will stick with me after this episode that I’m glad they included: “There’s no careful way to question a Klingon.” And another, when O’brien tells Bashir to do something because Bashir from the future told him to, and he doesn’t bat an eye, just says “Well, who am I to argue with me?” Again, this is how I think Starfleet officers should react to mind blowing time travel shenanigans- essentially “well ok then.”
I actually liked Odo in this episode, which is unusual. Up to this point he’s by far my least favorite character in the show, but I thought he conducted himself well in this one. He played the part of the grizzled detective without getting on my nerves. Bossed the Klingons around which was fun to see.
I’m guessing this might be the only episode where we see DS9 explode. Of course, it would happen in an episode w/ temporal anomalies. And again, the nonchalance towards the suggestion of time travel tickles me- “Yes Chief, we can send you to the future and bring you back, but it would basically give you cancer.” As opposed to a prolonged scene of “iS tHaT eVeN pOsSiBlE???” Then Sisko is like “you better get this the fuck done inside 2 hours”. Yes sir!
The past and future O’briens in unison going “I hate temporal mechanics!” is a good piece of Trek humor. Overall just a really good, down to Earth time travel episode. 3.5/5 stars.
Season 3 Episode 18: Distant Voices
Bashir started out as a character I hated, along with Odo, but unlike Odo; I have warmed up to him considerably. It surprised me that Bashir is only 29 in this episode, he doesn’t carry himself like someone just leaving their 20’s behind- but I can chalk that up to Earth’s more enlightened culture in the future producing more refined adults at an earlier age.
Garak is one of the most interesting and well acted characters in the show, so he’s always fun to see interacting with the crew. The spy that everyone knows is a spy but nobody can prove it enough to do anything about him just hanging around as he slowly befriends them is a fun dynamic- dare I even say trope?
A trope I’m not as enamored with is the “everything is happening inside X characters mind” aka Coma episodes. It did give the cast the chance to play a kind of alternate version of themselves which was somewhat interesting as a plot point. I also learned that Cardassian hearing isn’t as good as humans which is a fun piece of lore I wasn’t aware of.
I enjoyed the design of the “big bad” alien, I’m not sure if I’ve seen a Lethean in Trek before but I don’t remember it if I have. O’brien and Bashir crawling side by side in the Jeffries tubes instead of single file made me uneasy. You’re already in a confined space, why make it worse? Literally brushing shoulders while they crawled out. I need my personal space, broh. Watching old-man-Bashir refute the Lethean inside his own head by knowing himself better was a satisfying scene. That being said, the overall structure of the episode- like I said before, the Coma trope- is not my favorite and wasn’t offset enough by the things it did well. Giving this one a 2.5/5.
Season 3 Episode 19: Through The Looking Glass
Ah, the famous episode. I’d heard it referenced many times. More time travel, but this time it’s alternate timelines instead of past/future anomalies. Keeping with my enjoyment of episode 17, I liked that Sisko figured out what was going on before it was explained to him. Obviously it wasn’t the first time it had happened, but still. He takes it in stride.
This alternate version of the cast’s characters is more fun/interesting than the ones from last episode. Evil Kira is certainly having a good time, and also underscores my notion that the character of Kira is easily hate-able, but we generally like the other version of her because she fights for the good guys. The other cast don’t get nearly enough screen time as their alternate selves, especially Tuvok who I was surprised to see make an appearance here. Him and Bashir were both interesting versions that should have gotten more lines and play in the plot.
Our Sisko playing himself pretending to be the alternate version of himself was the best part of this episode. He understood the assignment and knocked it out of the park. Him and Jadzia being a couple was weird though given his relationship with Kurzon. One thing about alternate Jadzia this episode- I dunno if it was the different hairstyle, but Terry Ferrel looks like a perfect doppleganger for Cobie Smulders here. Especially Smulder’s MCU character, Agent Hill. Its truly uncanny.
Any time Sisko is playing his part as alternate-Sisko is a fantastic scene. The way he swaggers into the rebel crew, or onto Kira’s ship were played perfectly. That being said I didn’t care much for the whole reconciling with his dead wife plot. It just had too many conceited angles that required me to just go with. The scene where he “turns” her and they start escaping together had me rolling my eyes a lot. It was always where the plot was headed, but it felt entirely too easy, convenient, and schizophrenic for the character. I also blanched at the notion that Sisko’s ex-wife’s motivation for working to kill and subjugate the entire human race/Federation was because of her and Ben’s bad breakup. Like, what the actual fuck? And then she changes her mind and becomes someone we are supposed to root for after a short conversation where Benjamin sort-of apologizes?
Her motivations are wack, all is not forgiven, and they should have just killed her. Sisko treats her like she’s a slave that must be rescued but that isn’t how it appears from our perspective and we don’t really get that context. Jennifer Sisko finally being convinced to escape with Benjamin but dropping the line “Alright, but let’s get one thing clear: I still hate you.” made me cringe and did nothing to endear the character to me.
This episode is also a pretty good example of the Trek trope of bad fight choreography. The “one punch knockout” is a frequent plot device and not just in Trek, that we as viewers typically notice but then have to move on. Both Sisko and O’brien separately knock a Klingon and a Cardassian unconscious in one punch. I know there is, or used to be, some type of cannon about Federation officers being trained in a special type of martial art that emphasizes clean, swift, and non-lethal efficiency but it still strains my suspension of disbelief and makes me wish they at least had better choreography.
I also found the “rescuing the slaves” plotline extremely underdeveloped and forced. I just don’t even see why it was included. I did like seeing Sisko run around double-fisting phasers like a Wild West Space-Cowboy though. To be honest, the episode had lofty aspirations that would have worked much better as a 2 or 3 episode arc (or a movie) than a stand alone episode. Either that or it needed to shave down or abandon some of the B-plots. Given the hype for this episode, I think it underperformed my expectations. Taking into account that I might have felt slightly differently about it if I hadn’t had expectations, I’m giving it a 2.5/5.
That's all for now, hopefully this stays up and I'll post the next batch of reviews soon.

🪞 “It's much easier to get in that it is to get out,” Emilie Autumn used to say. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 - Part 4.2
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵

THE PRESENT DAY: “ASK ME ANYTHING (WELL, NOT QUITE)”

​

"Ask me anything" titles are catchy, and that’s why I’m using one. But, obviously, don’t ask me anything, by which I mean that, if you think I wouldn’t answer it, you’re probably right. Ask me something really good. I’d love to answer you. I’d love to have comments on these posts, in fact, so that I could answer questions there regularly and ask you things as well, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or so Einstein is supposed to have said, and attempting to create yet another interactive online venue after every previous attempt has ended in heartbreak—forums, facebook groups, social media accounts—it would indeed be insanity to think that this time would be any different. So there are no comments. This too is heartbreaking in the sense that, and you may not realize this, but I desperately want to connect more completely with you—to be able to intelligently converse and share and exchange. We can do that in person, of course, because the wrong people never show up in person. Isn’t that funny… So, perhaps we’ll have to arrange that;). I’ll start you off with an example question I’d want to know if I were you (I can almost guarantee that you do not want to know this). Q. Hey EA, how do you keep your wireless bodypack transmitter secure when you are leaping about in skimpy costumes and doing frequent costume changes? Also, dye your roots. A. Fantastic question, EA, and I just dyed my roots thank you very much. ... (Deleted blog post followed by a year of radio silence, 2022 📝)

Sooo. For the past five-ish years, the vibe in the Asylum has been that of a protracted Christmas dinner where everyone is tensely moving their food around in their plate, bracing themselves for whatever will trigger the screaming match. Wondering what it's going to be this time. Weary old-timers make small talk about the food because no other topic feels safe. Every glance, every forced smile, is fraught with eons-old grudges and unspoken regrets; every nervous pleasantry sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation. Aunt Emilie always insists on hosting, but not-so-secretly hates having people over. Sooner or later, she finds a way to get all of these assholes out of her house. Most of the adult children are daydreaming about going no-contact.
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.

YE OLDEN DAYS: CUCKOOS OF A FEATHER NEST TOGETHER

In the beginning, it was beautiful.
EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.

It wasn't just about Emilie on the forums. People could chat about almost anything with near free reign, making connections and lifelong friends. ... This community mattered SO MUCH to people. They felt included, accepted, and understood within the walls of the Asylum. People invested their time and creative energy into keeping the forums a vibrant, active community, and made sure that carried over into the real world. ... I've never seen anything like it in a fan space. I doubt I ever will again. (@Asylum_Oracle - “Fandom History” Instagram highlight 🔍📝, which contains most of the sources for this segment.)

And it did, indeed, carry over into the real world. There were numerous meet-ups – a few organized by EA, many more spontaneous. People who didn't know any other EA fans in real life, or were just excited to add new Plague Rats to their friend group, would regularly connect with other forum users from their area to meet up and hang out before EA shows. “Who else is dressing up??”
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.

People who would never normally be involved in an artist's fanbase were in EA's world. And not only were they known – they were respected and incredibly active with the fanbase. These people who managed an online message board were willing to engage in real-world meet-ups (with no security??) because of how tight-knit the community they had built was. People turned out to this event. People traveled to go to this event. It was a short reading of a book that hadn't been released yet, and wouldn't be for some time. Why? Because not only was it a chance to meet Emilie and listen to parts of the new book, but it was also a chance to hang out with their friends from the Asylum. ... The fandom really was a family for a lot of people. (@Asylum_Oracle)

“SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”

It all started with The End.
The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.

Fan: Okay. Before I start, I just want you to know that I think it's very good that EA is getting more popularity, and that she can release lots of albums, but - are 5 editions of the same album really needed? You may say now “ah, it's not the same, it has 2 bonus tracks” or whatever, but I mean: it's not new material. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for it, maybe I'll even buy it, but I'm just wondering if she shouldn't keep herself busy with other (maybe more important) stuff? * hides * EA: Nobody's forcing you to buy it. Thanks.

Record scratch.

Fan 1: is this Opheliac release version number 4? lol If she's recording NEW tracks, then surely they deserve to be sold by themselves, otherwise people are going to have to buy an album that they may have already bought twice (like me!). But... alas, I am a fool and adore everything this woman does... im buying it lol Fan 2: exactly – if it was just reissuing the last version of Opheliac to tap into new markets that would be fine (...) but if they start adding extra bits of material to albums people already have then the true muffins are going to feel obliged to buy new copies (...) EA: How exactly are you obliged to buy anything? Nobody is forcing you to spend a fucking penny, my dears. I suppose it would make more sense to you to simply not have my records available any more as the old label I just escaped from will no longer be distributing them? Forgive me for adding extra tracks. No obligation necessary.

...Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can see both sides of the argument here. Fans are annoyed at the idea of spending money on barely-anything-new, because they love EA and buy every single CD she releases. EA is exasperated by fans acting like she's twisting their arm and somehow resenting the inclusion of new material, when she was just ensuring that her album would remain available for purchase and trying to keep things interesting.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?

FantineDormouse: Uhm, Emilie, love, I don't mean to sound rude or anything... but maybe you should have a cup of tea and relax a little.

...
* sound of archduke getting shot *

EA: Excuse me? You can throw this onslaught of absolute cruel bullshit at me and those I work with in my own space that I own, and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing. Relax? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? FD: I'm not trying to piss you off even more, Emilie. And trust me, I have to deal with it myself, and as much as I would really love to punch the cunts I have to deal with in the face, I don't. You're pissed off, I get it. You're bipolar, which makes it 10x worse, I get that. I'm just not the person to stand around and do nothing when a fight where I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of regret is going on.

Famous last words. Literally! Immediately after EA delivered her irate closing statement – which includes one of my all-time favorite EA zingers, bolded...

EA: I cannot believe this... You just don't stop, do you? So just because I've shared the personal information with you all that I happen to be bipolar, I can't get pissed off at all of you being perfectly awful in the very space that I pay fuckloads a month to have up (has it ever occurred to you all that I pay dearly for this space you play around in?) Why not just tell me that I must be upset because it's my time of the month? Seriously, get the fuck out of my house. You are unbelievable, and your level of patronization is almost criminal. Don't make me write another book. With muffins like you, who needs enemies? Nothing I say or feel is legitimate, not ever ever ever because I'm bipolar... discredited before I begin... unbelievable...

...FantineDormouse got permabanned.
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.

To those of you who appear not to understand why said posts, most especially those of the banned party, were offensive to me, I give you the option to either educate yourselves on your own time and in your own space (because please never forget that this is my space that I share with all of you at my own expense, and in which I generally give you all the freedom I would wish for myself), or to resign your posts in the Asylum Army – this is not the place for you, and I humbly suggest that you turn your attention and support towards other artists of a more placid, non-controversial, and less opinionated nature; there are more than enough of them out there, and I’m sure they all have forums of their own.

Some fans did leave. Most stuck around, whiplashed. Soon, the storm quieted down, and business as usual resumed on the forum. But something had been damaged beyond repair. The FantineDormouse fiasco had erected walls and drawn lines in the sand, both around EA and among her fans; its sad specter would haunt every Asylum crisis that spiked up forever after. “Fucking Patronizing Fucking” or “FPF” 🔍 became memetic shorthand in the fandom for overreaction and self-righteousness. 🐀
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠

A NOTE ON HARASSMENT: “MAD GIRL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU?”

Wouldn't they stop When you asked them to leave you alone? (“Mad Girl”, 2008 🎵)

Now, let's be clear, because it should not be minimized: EA has also been the target of genuine online harassment. Based on the simple fact that she is a woman with a public presence on the internet, I have zero doubt that EA has received (and perhaps continues to receive) more than her share of truly vile, bigoted, creepy and threatening messages – and, knowing what I know about the darker recesses of the Asylum, a terrifying amount of emotional blackmail and obsessive projection from people who hold her to punitively high standards. I'm also inclined to believe that it started way before she ever did anything that warranted any backlash. And that fucking sucks. It's repulsive and inexcusable, and the people who harass her should crawl into a hole and live among the worms.
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.

The "public eye" isn't an [enviable] place to be, and the closer I've come to it, the more horrified I've been. Because, for starters, who is "the public?" Is "the public" my audience? Hell no. My audience is special. They are not the general public. If they were the general public I would be a lot wealthier. The "public eye" means getting stalked, harassed, viscously judged, and put in danger. If I do things in the future that gain notoriety, I will do them in spite of fame, not because of it. I am out for world domination, but not fame. (Interview for The Moaning Times, 2014 📝)

In real life (well, mostly online, but I mean: on this shared plane of existence), things play out slightly differently. The Venn diagram of “true blue fans” and “people who criticize EA" and "people who know way too much about EA” is a circle. The call is 100% coming from inside the Asylum, and I think EA rationally knows that. But here's the thing: no matter how many shows and meet-and-greets you've dressed up for, how many loving and supportive comments you've left, or how many family heirlooms you once pawned to purchase a copy of the not-for-sale 2003 DJ pressing of Enchant... the instant EA feels attacked, everyone is a saboteur and a bully until proven otherwise, and suspected treason is dealt with on the spot. One strike, you're out. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her threshold for bullying seems to be “any remotely thoughtless opinion from any stranger on the internet”.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.

You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy, and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you – It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end You will see: It's the Opheliac in me... (“Opheliac”, 2006 🎵)

And YES, it is extremely regrettable to have this as a trigger, when you're a public figure and you're bound to receive more negative feedback than the average citizen. “It's what she signed up for”, “it comes with the territory” and all that jazz. I really don't think EA was unaware of that fact when she decided to become a musician, share her personal life, and form an intense parasocial bond with her audience. But maybe she underestimated how hard it would be to process and recover from.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.

A MADHOUSE UNDER MARTIAL LAW: MARCHING INTO THE FORUM WARS

There are two sides to every story... except for this one! (“If I Burn”, 2012 🎵)

You may have noted the military imagery in EA's “Make a Fucking Choice” response post – “resign your post in the Asylum Army”! What do psychiatry and the military have in common? They're both institutions of top-down social control. 🔍 EA's mixed metaphor may be a bit clunky, but it did foreshadow the evolution of the Asylum – in terms of aesthetics and power dynamics – in the years that followed the FantineDormouse incident and the release of The Book.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.

The Emilie Autumn forum is a dystopian hell. Truth be told, when I decided to leave you could not do anything but gush about Emilie. Otherwise all of her extremist arse kissing fans will be down your throat, ripping you apart in seconds, if you so much as questioned her behaviour. So much for freedom of opinion, let alone the idea of creating a harmonious community for ‘outcasts’. Hahaha. (2014 🐀)

The word filter thing really wasn't a big deal – I'm just pointing it out as one goofy expression of EA's need to control the narrative and rhetoric, which became especially noticeable in those post-book, pre-FLAG years. By that point, EA's fuse had been shortened by near on half a decade of non-stop touring / recording / writing / promoting / adjusting to the pressure and demands of an ever-growing fanbase, while also dealing with a horrorshow of personal turmoil and health issues behind the scenes. In other words: she was done taking any shit, in any form, or humoring anyone's ridiculous feedback regarding anything.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:

Dearest Plague Rats, To be honest, I have no idea of what the hell happened with Aromaleigh, and I don't care to find out – the whole drama is a complete mystery to me, as I've been away for months touring and have not been in contact with anyone. All I know is that I've been promoting the company for ages and have not asked them for anything in years. (...) Please focus on more interesting things. I am. (“Save the Drama...” forum post, March 2010)

Posts questioning her good faith in the conflict were deleted from the forum. Shortly thereafter, citing how prolific and labor-intensive the Asylum forum had grown, EA shut down all non-EA related subforums – which, among many other topics, included a pretty active thread about Aromaleigh products.
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?

I feel like [WVC] is the only place I feel any of that old Asylum community kind of feeling I felt before EA got so focused on the book. It sucks that it’s so full of unhappiness, and I wish she hadn’t poisoned the sanctuary she claimed to have built. It’s just kind of fallen apart, like a crumbling building. (🐀 2016)

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

Real estate has often been touted as one of the most accessible ways to grow real wealth. Who among us ambitious haven’t heard the platitudinous claims passed off as conventional wisdom or perhaps as an arcane right of passage into occult upper echelons of society?
“Real estate makes more millionaires than any other industry.”
We have heard it in forums, self-help books, and from passing snake oil peddlers trying to get you to sign up for their educational seminar so you too can get rich.
As an engineer fortunate enough to not be living pay check to pay check as many Americans do, I also found this promise alluring. After all the basic principle that you can own a second home and collect a sizable and secure supplemental income certainly seems like a good deal at first approximation and so when me and my wife moved out of our first home for new jobs, we decided to keep it as a rental property rather than sell it.
We had purchased the property for only $130,000 dollars in 2017 and after living there for about five years the value had doubled. It was also located in an above average area of growth in South Carolina that had seen explosive growth going from Hicksville, USA to having two Starbucks by the time we moved out (of course the number of Starbucks is the proper measure of affluence). We were able to rent the house out with ease for two years for $1,800 a month while all of the recurring costs amounted to only $1,000 a month.
Indeed on paper it was an excellent investment. But when a difficult tenant started to stress us out we began to wonder if having a rental was worth all the hype in comparison to less stressful alternative investments.
So I decided that rather than scouring the internet for advice from likely unqualified faceless charlatans, I would conduct my own analysis of owning a rental home vs. simply investing in the stock market. After all, at one point in the not so distant past relying on your own mind rather than the top 10 Google search results to reach your own conclusions was considered desirable.

The Calculation

My methodology was to calculate the total net benefit over the next 22 years (the time until the house would be paid off) in today’s dollars of keeping the rental vs. the total net benefit in today’s dollars of selling it and investing the proceeds in an index fund for 22 years and compare the two results. Although seemingly simple, the reality is that the financials of rentals are convoluted and comparing them to neat investments is actually kind of difficult. There are a lot of assumptions and extrapolations that must be made about both benefits and expenses.
The total net benefit for market investing was actually pretty simple. I estimated that the total proceeds from a sale after everything was said and done would be $100,000. So simply applied compounding interest to calculate the value I’d have in 22 years.
For this I assumed the historical average market return of 10% (7% accounting for inflation) as well as a few other higher returns to see how I would fare if things went well.
Because I will not be retired in 22 years and this money would be growing in a traditional taxed brokerage account, I made the assumption that if I wanted to derive regular income from the final capital I would have to sell everything and take the fat 15% long-term capital gains tax in order to move the money from an index fund into a high yield fund providing a yield of 5%. I then further assumed that as income I would have to pay 29% of those earnings in federal and state taxes. This yielded the total income I could expect in my pocket every month after investing for 22 years.
Total derived benefit and possible income for investing $100,000 in index funds after 22 years.
The calculation for the house was much more tenuous, but as I mentioned earlier, you do have to make some big assumptions to make a comprehensive assessment of the total net benefit of renting a house for 22 years. I started by calculating the total positive factors:
Total rent — Assuming that I will increase rent at 3% to keep up with inflation, I assumed an average rent value for a total present day value of all collected rents over 22 years of $468,600. I then adjusted this value for an assumed vacancy rate of 8% to yield $431,112 (A).
Appreciation — Of course one of the benefits of real estate is that it generally appreciates at a rate that is commensurate with the desirability of the location. Before things exploded circa 2022 and houses got crazy expensive, the rate of appreciation in my area was just under 5%. This is a good bit better than the historical national average of 3.5%. Since it is a higher growth area in South Carolina where I’ll used the higher number. At 5% appreciation (2% after accounting for inflation) I can expect the house value to grow from the present value of $250,000 to about $386,494 or an increase of $136,494 (B) in today’s dollars.
Although there are many other potential benefits of renting a house, at the basic level, the benefits are from rent and appreciation. So the total gross benefit can be calculated simply by adding A+B for a total of $567,606.
However, the story doesn’t stop there. There are also negatives or expenses associated with owning a rental property. The total negative factors were calculated as:
Capital gains tax on sale- It turns out that when you sell your house after many years of appreciation you have to pay long-term capital gains tax on the profit. There actually are ways around this but as we will discuss later they probably are pretty useless to the average one-off real estate investor. So since I paid $130,000 for the house and expect it to be worth $386,494 when I ultimately sell it 22 years from now, the net profit is $256,494 which is taxed at 15% costing $38,474 (A).
Depreciation recapture tax- When you rent out a house you get to depreciate it’s value every year like any other large capital assett in a business. This means you can kind of say you “lost” a certain amount of value every year from use. That depreciation ultimately helps lower your taxes every year and so it is a benefit….kind of.
When the time comes to sell your house, you actually have to pay the government back for all the asset depreciation you claimed. You could try to figure this out yourself, but I just used an online calculator and figured that I would have to pay about $31,200 (B) in depreciation recapture tax.
Sales cost — There are also significant costs associated with actually selling your house. Things like real estate agent commissions and repairs can really add up. Based on some internet research I saw that 8% is a reasonable number for sales cost. It could be more if there are many repairs needed. At 8% it would cost $30,920 (C) to sell a house for $386,494.
The total future expenses at time of sale can be calculated as A+B+C or $100,594. However, this is in 2046 dollars (22 years from 2024). This has to be adjusted to be in present 2024 dollars for the purpose of comparison. The adjusted number in 2024 dollars works out to $58,432 (D).
Maintenance — There are also repairs to consider. Any repairs that are not covered by the rent payments come out of your pocket. There are a lot of assumptions that you have to make here. I was actually pretty light on repairs assuming that the tenant wouldn’t trash the place and that only predictable things would need to get done. This included things like replacing the roof once, changing the carpet out three times in 22 years, and painting the place several times, and replacing the wooden privacy fence once. I also made the assumption that most of the repairs would be sooner rather than later. I browsed the internet to get estimated repair costs and life expectancy numbers. For 22 years I estimated $75,000 (E) (in today’s dollars). Honestly, I think this number is very light and could easily see it being twice that.
So everything said and done, the total gross expense in present money can be found by adding D and E for a total of $133,432.
The total net benefit can finally be calculated by subtracting the total expenses from the total benefits, or $434,174 ($567,606 — $133,432 ).
When we compare this with the estimated stock market returns, we see that it is on par with the 11% return (8% after inflation) which is slightly better than the more conservative 7% often quoted. So at that it looks like real estate wins! … however there is still more to consider.

Other Considerations

Remember why I started looking at this in the first place? I said that having a rental property was beginning to stress me out. Even with a property management company “running things” the reality is that it is impossible for them to take care of your property the way you would want to. They aren’t there day in and day out noticing the slow degradation of condition. Yes, they will catch the big things and hopefully boot tenants that are trashing the place, but the insidious decay will be left un-noticed until it becomes a big enough problem.
For me, being emotionally attached to the house, I find this to be incredibly stressful. It is fair to say that not everyone feels that way about their properties, some are able to treat them strictly as business assets that require repair when they stop working. However, you really can’t discount the psychological affects of dealing with someone who doesn’t care about your home the way you do.
So now we are talking about 22 years of stress. That is 22 years of worrying if you are going to go in to sell the place and find that the house should be condemned and repairs would take a tremendous chunk out of what you expected (possible A LOT more than that $75k we estimated). That is 22 years of stress dealing with tenants and having to watch their ridiculous and rude maintenance tickets come through your email where they call you a “slum lord” and tell you that the carpet looks like someone “took a shit on it” (mind you this is who is living in the house you once loved).
Is it still worth the difference?
That is a personal determination that everyone in this situation must make on their own. In my case, I am leaning towards ‘no.’
But why does everyone make a bid deal out of real estate? If the actual returns are comparable to the market, why is it so special?
Now that is the question, and I think that we are ready to answer it given the context of the above analysis.
If the total net benefit really is comparable to the market then why in the hell would anyone want to dabble in real estate let alone claim it is “the way?”
I am hardly the Supreme Overlord Barron Lord Admiral of real estate investing, but I know enough to tell you that the reasons have to do with those secondary benefits we deferred from earlier.
The primary benefit of real estate is leverage. Leverage is the idea that you can own a house using primarily someone else’s money (i.e., the bank’s through a mortgage). This means you get the full benefit of owning a house and renting it (full appreciation, equity, and rent proceeds) with minimal investment of your own. You are taking out a loan to buy an asset and having someone else pay for it. Leverage is possible for stock investing, but houses are much more secure investments and banks realize this and so the rates and terms are much more reasonable than taking out a loan to buy stocks. So why would you ever want to give that up?
The reality is that you are only leveraged while you are …. well, leveraged. As your equity in the house increases (either by paying down the mortgage or through appreciation) you become less leveraged. That is to say that magical benefit of real estate decreases with the less you owe.
Look at it this way. Say you only owe the bank one more dollar on your mortgage; while you still don’t own the house outright, you have nearly 100% equity. That equity is effectively your money (not the bank’s) that can be applied to anything and thus it carries an opportunity cost. That is, you have to compare what it is doing for you tied up in the house to what you could get from the market or other investments. If the situation were flipped and you only had one dollar of equity, it is a much better deal… you couldn’t do much else with that single dollar. The more equity you have in your house, the less leveraged it is, and the more it acts like a traditional stock.
What you’ll find, is that houses perform very much like high dividend, low growth stocks. That is, they provide good income, but appreciate less than the market. When we do the comparison (as we did above) it really does come out as more of a wash than many burgeoning real estate investors might think.
There are other benefits to owning a home. For example, it is real and has an intrinsic value; when the next great depression happens, people will still need a place to live. Plus, since mortgages don’t change with time (that is they get cheaper with time due to inflation) you could live there during difficult times, probably for much less than your current rent or mortgage.
Although these are secondary considerations, there are also creative financial mechanisms available for homes. For example, home equity loans or lines of credit can give you a better rate when you need money compared to a private loan. There are also mechanisms to avoid having to pay taxes on your gains (possibly until you die) such as 1031 exchanges, however these are very complicated and are really only designed for real estate investors to turn one property into another. They are nearly useless for the average Joe with maybe one rental (big surprise).
We also hear a lot about the tax benefits of owning rental property. What are those? Well you can claim depreciation. Depreciation is the government’s way of acknowledging that large capital business assets (think a large factory machine) lose value over time as they are used. So you are generally allowed to claim back the full purchase price of your home over the course of 30 years which helps to offset taxes on the rental income. However, you do have to pay it all back when you sell the house in a process called depreciation recapture tax. So maybe it isn’t that much of a benefit after all….the real benefit is that since you pay it back later it is worth less due to inflation. Not a huge benefit… You can also claim business operating expenses to also help offset your rental income (think new roof, new windows, repairs, project management fees etc.).
So now seeing the whole picture it is obvious that there are some benefits to owning a rental home over investing in the stock market. However, they may not be what you thought. Let’s recap:

• The total net benefit from renting a house, vs. investing in the market is likely comparable.
• Renting a house is much more stressful (even with a management company) than investing in the stock market. You have to have the right kind of personality to not be affected by people trashing your place, being rude to you, and, if this was a home you lived in, the steady decay of a home you once loved (because no, management companies do not maintain houses like you did when you lived there). There is also (i’d argue) a lot more variability in how you’ll fare with real estate (assumptions about vacancy rate, long-term repairs, etc.)
• The primary benefit of owning rentals is the ability to leverage into a stable investment on favorable terms. The more of your house you own, the more they perform like traditional stocks and the less argument there is for keeping it due to the opportunity cost of your tied up equity.
• There are some secondary benefits, pertaining to taxes, the actual utility of the home, and some creative financing opportunities.

So in conclusion: what does this mean? It means in an apple to apple comparison houses are good investments that rival stock markets but they are much more stressful. However, with leverage being the primary benefit there is a real advantage here if you are willing to maximize your leverage in the real estate market.
If you are going to have one house and pay it off and keep it for income, I’d advise you to consider other options if it is stressing you out as (1) it won’t make you rich and (2) it may not be better than the markets. However, if you are going to go big and leverage leverage (no not a typo) there is a possibility to do well.
So what does that mean? Money is made in real estate at the front end by making good investments and using (and I mean USING leverage). If you are willing to maximize your credit and home equity usage as much as possible to buy more and more houses putting as little of your own money into each one as possible and you are willing to have a part or full-time job dealing with managing them all and it won’t stress you out, it is a path to wealth. Of course, you could also do well just dropping that $100k into the S&P 500 and call it a day.

Real estate has often been touted as one of the most accessible ways to grow real wealth. Who among us ambitious haven’t heard the platitudinous claims passed off as conventional wisdom or perhaps as an arcane right of passage into occult upper echelons of society?
“Real estate makes more millionaires than any other industry.”
We have heard it in forums, self-help books, and from passing snake oil peddlers trying to get you to sign up for their educational seminar so you too can get rich.
As an engineer fortunate enough to not be living pay check to pay check as many Americans do, I also found this promise alluring. After all the basic principle that you can own a second home and collect a sizable and secure supplemental income certainly seems like a good deal at first approximation and so when me and my wife moved out of our first home for new jobs, we decided to keep it as a rental property rather than sell it.
We had purchased the property for only $130,000 dollars in 2017 and after living there for about five years the value had doubled. It was also located in an above average area of growth in South Carolina that had seen explosive growth going from Hicksville, USA to having two Starbucks by the time we moved out (of course the number of Starbucks is the proper measure of affluence). We were able to rent the house out with ease for two years for $1,800 a month while all of the recurring costs amounted to only $1,000 a month.
Indeed on paper it was an excellent investment. But when a difficult tenant started to stress us out we began to wonder if having a rental was worth all the hype in comparison to less stressful alternative investments.
So I decided that rather than scouring the internet for advice from likely unqualified faceless charlatans, I would conduct my own analysis of owning a rental home vs. simply investing in the stock market. After all, at one point in the not so distant past relying on your own mind rather than the top 10 Google search results to reach your own conclusions was considered desirable.

The Calculation

My methodology was to calculate the total net benefit over the next 22 years (the time until the house would be paid off) in today’s dollars of keeping the rental vs. the total net benefit in today’s dollars of selling it and investing the proceeds in an index fund for 22 years and compare the two results. Although seemingly simple, the reality is that the financials of rentals are convoluted and comparing them to neat investments is actually kind of difficult. There are a lot of assumptions and extrapolations that must be made about both benefits and expenses.
The total net benefit for market investing was actually pretty simple. I estimated that the total proceeds from a sale after everything was said and done would be $100,000. So simply applied compounding interest to calculate the value I’d have in 22 years.
For this I assumed the historical average market return of 10% (7% accounting for inflation) as well as a few other higher returns to see how I would fare if things went well.
Because I will not be retired in 22 years and this money would be growing in a traditional taxed brokerage account, I made the assumption that if I wanted to derive regular income from the final capital I would have to sell everything and take the fat 15% long-term capital gains tax in order to move the money from an index fund into a high yield fund providing a yield of 5%. I then further assumed that as income I would have to pay 29% of those earnings in federal and state taxes. This yielded the total income I could expect in my pocket every month after investing for 22 years.
Total derived benefit and possible income for investing $100,000 in index funds after 22 years.
The calculation for the house was much more tenuous, but as I mentioned earlier, you do have to make some big assumptions to make a comprehensive assessment of the total net benefit of renting a house for 22 years. I started by calculating the total positive factors:
Total rent — Assuming that I will increase rent at 3% to keep up with inflation, I assumed an average rent value for a total present day value of all collected rents over 22 years of $468,600. I then adjusted this value for an assumed vacancy rate of 8% to yield $431,112 (A).
Appreciation — Of course one of the benefits of real estate is that it generally appreciates at a rate that is commensurate with the desirability of the location. Before things exploded circa 2022 and houses got crazy expensive, the rate of appreciation in my area was just under 5%. This is a good bit better than the historical national average of 3.5%. Since it is a higher growth area in South Carolina where I’ll used the higher number. At 5% appreciation (2% after accounting for inflation) I can expect the house value to grow from the present value of $250,000 to about $386,494 or an increase of $136,494 (B) in today’s dollars.
Although there are many other potential benefits of renting a house, at the basic level, the benefits are from rent and appreciation. So the total gross benefit can be calculated simply by adding A+B for a total of $567,606.
However, the story doesn’t stop there. There are also negatives or expenses associated with owning a rental property. The total negative factors were calculated as:
Capital gains tax on sale- It turns out that when you sell your house after many years of appreciation you have to pay long-term capital gains tax on the profit. There actually are ways around this but as we will discuss later they probably are pretty useless to the average one-off real estate investor. So since I paid $130,000 for the house and expect it to be worth $386,494 when I ultimately sell it 22 years from now, the net profit is $256,494 which is taxed at 15% costing $38,474 (A).
Depreciation recapture tax- When you rent out a house you get to depreciate it’s value every year like any other large capital assett in a business. This means you can kind of say you “lost” a certain amount of value every year from use. That depreciation ultimately helps lower your taxes every year and so it is a benefit….kind of.
When the time comes to sell your house, you actually have to pay the government back for all the asset depreciation you claimed. You could try to figure this out yourself, but I just used an online calculator and figured that I would have to pay about $31,200 (B) in depreciation recapture tax.
Sales cost — There are also significant costs associated with actually selling your house. Things like real estate agent commissions and repairs can really add up. Based on some internet research I saw that 8% is a reasonable number for sales cost. It could be more if there are many repairs needed. At 8% it would cost $30,920 (C) to sell a house for $386,494.
The total future expenses at time of sale can be calculated as A+B+C or $100,594. However, this is in 2046 dollars (22 years from 2024). This has to be adjusted to be in present 2024 dollars for the purpose of comparison. The adjusted number in 2024 dollars works out to $58,432 (D).
Maintenance — There are also repairs to consider. Any repairs that are not covered by the rent payments come out of your pocket. There are a lot of assumptions that you have to make here. I was actually pretty light on repairs assuming that the tenant wouldn’t trash the place and that only predictable things would need to get done. This included things like replacing the roof once, changing the carpet out three times in 22 years, and painting the place several times, and replacing the wooden privacy fence once. I also made the assumption that most of the repairs would be sooner rather than later. I browsed the internet to get estimated repair costs and life expectancy numbers. For 22 years I estimated $75,000 (E) (in today’s dollars). Honestly, I think this number is very light and could easily see it being twice that.
So everything said and done, the total gross expense in present money can be found by adding D and E for a total of $133,432.
The total net benefit can finally be calculated by subtracting the total expenses from the total benefits, or $434,174 ($567,606 — $133,432 ).
When we compare this with the estimated stock market returns, we see that it is on par with the 11% return (8% after inflation) which is slightly better than the more conservative 7% often quoted. So at that it looks like real estate wins! … however there is still more to consider.

Other Considerations

Remember why I started looking at this in the first place? I said that having a rental property was beginning to stress me out. Even with a property management company “running things” the reality is that it is impossible for them to take care of your property the way you would want to. They aren’t there day in and day out noticing the slow degradation of condition. Yes, they will catch the big things and hopefully boot tenants that are trashing the place, but the insidious decay will be left un-noticed until it becomes a big enough problem.
For me, being emotionally attached to the house, I find this to be incredibly stressful. It is fair to say that not everyone feels that way about their properties, some are able to treat them strictly as business assets that require repair when they stop working. However, you really can’t discount the psychological affects of dealing with someone who doesn’t care about your home the way you do.
So now we are talking about 22 years of stress. That is 22 years of worrying if you are going to go in to sell the place and find that the house should be condemned and repairs would take a tremendous chunk out of what you expected (possible A LOT more than that $75k we estimated). That is 22 years of stress dealing with tenants and having to watch their ridiculous and rude maintenance tickets come through your email where they call you a “slum lord” and tell you that the carpet looks like someone “took a shit on it” (mind you this is who is living in the house you once loved).
Is it still worth the difference?
That is a personal determination that everyone in this situation must make on their own. In my case, I am leaning towards ‘no.’
But why does everyone make a bid deal out of real estate? If the actual returns are comparable to the market, why is it so special?
Now that is the question, and I think that we are ready to answer it given the context of the above analysis.
If the total net benefit really is comparable to the market then why in the hell would anyone want to dabble in real estate let alone claim it is “the way?”
I am hardly the Supreme Overlord Barron Lord Admiral of real estate investing, but I know enough to tell you that the reasons have to do with those secondary benefits we deferred from earlier.
The primary benefit of real estate is leverage. Leverage is the idea that you can own a house using primarily someone else’s money (i.e., the bank’s through a mortgage). This means you get the full benefit of owning a house and renting it (full appreciation, equity, and rent proceeds) with minimal investment of your own. You are taking out a loan to buy an asset and having someone else pay for it. Leverage is possible for stock investing, but houses are much more secure investments and banks realize this and so the rates and terms are much more reasonable than taking out a loan to buy stocks. So why would you ever want to give that up?
The reality is that you are only leveraged while you are …. well, leveraged. As your equity in the house increases (either by paying down the mortgage or through appreciation) you become less leveraged. That is to say that magical benefit of real estate decreases with the less you owe.
Look at it this way. Say you only owe the bank one more dollar on your mortgage; while you still don’t own the house outright, you have nearly 100% equity. That equity is effectively your money (not the bank’s) that can be applied to anything and thus it carries an opportunity cost. That is, you have to compare what it is doing for you tied up in the house to what you could get from the market or other investments. If the situation were flipped and you only had one dollar of equity, it is a much better deal… you couldn’t do much else with that single dollar. The more equity you have in your house, the less leveraged it is, and the more it acts like a traditional stock.
What you’ll find, is that houses perform very much like high dividend, low growth stocks. That is, they provide good income, but appreciate less than the market. When we do the comparison (as we did above) it really does come out as more of a wash than many burgeoning real estate investors might think.
There are other benefits to owning a home. For example, it is real and has an intrinsic value; when the next great depression happens, people will still need a place to live. Plus, since mortgages don’t change with time (that is they get cheaper with time due to inflation) you could live there during difficult times, probably for much less than your current rent or mortgage.
Although these are secondary considerations, there are also creative financial mechanisms available for homes. For example, home equity loans or lines of credit can give you a better rate when you need money compared to a private loan. There are also mechanisms to avoid having to pay taxes on your gains (possibly until you die) such as 1031 exchanges, however these are very complicated and are really only designed for real estate investors to turn one property into another. They are nearly useless for the average Joe with maybe one rental (big surprise).
We also hear a lot about the tax benefits of owning rental property. What are those? Well you can claim depreciation. Depreciation is the government’s way of acknowledging that large capital business assets (think a large factory machine) lose value over time as they are used. So you are generally allowed to claim back the full purchase price of your home over the course of 30 years which helps to offset taxes on the rental income. However, you do have to pay it all back when you sell the house in a process called depreciation recapture tax. So maybe it isn’t that much of a benefit after all….the real benefit is that since you pay it back later it is worth less due to inflation. Not a huge benefit… You can also claim business operating expenses to also help offset your rental income (think new roof, new windows, repairs, project management fees etc.).
So now seeing the whole picture it is obvious that there are some benefits to owning a rental home over investing in the stock market. However, they may not be what you thought. Let’s recap:

• The total net benefit from renting a house, vs. investing in the market is likely comparable.
• Renting a house is much more stressful (even with a management company) than investing in the stock market. You have to have the right kind of personality to not be affected by people trashing your place, being rude to you, and, if this was a home you lived in, the steady decay of a home you once loved (because no, management companies do not maintain houses like you did when you lived there). There is also (i’d argue) a lot more variability in how you’ll fare with real estate (assumptions about vacancy rate, long-term repairs, etc.)
• The primary benefit of owning rentals is the ability to leverage into a stable investment on favorable terms. The more of your house you own, the more they perform like traditional stocks and the less argument there is for keeping it due to the opportunity cost of your tied up equity.
• There are some secondary benefits, pertaining to taxes, the actual utility of the home, and some creative financing opportunities.

So in conclusion: what does this mean? It means in an apple to apple comparison houses are good investments that rival stock markets but they are much more stressful. However, with leverage being the primary benefit there is a real advantage here if you are willing to maximize your leverage in the real estate market.
If you are going to have one house and pay it off and keep it for income, I’d advise you to consider other options if it is stressing you out as (1) it won’t make you rich and (2) it may not be better than the markets. However, if you are going to go big and leverage leverage (no not a typo) there is a possibility to do well.
So what does that mean? Money is made in real estate at the front end by making good investments and using (and I mean USING leverage). If you are willing to maximize your credit and home equity usage as much as possible to buy more and more houses putting as little of your own money into each one as possible and you are willing to have a part or full-time job dealing with managing them all and it won’t stress you out, it is a path to wealth. Of course, you could also do well just dropping that $100k into the S&P 500 and call it a day.

Himiko blinked her eyes excitedly. She looked around her and gasped softly with delight when she noticed that she was sitting on top of a pillowy, fluffy cloud in the bright blue sky. The sun was shining warmly down on her skin. She noticed her clothes had changed, as well. She was wearing a white dress with a red petticoat underneath, and a red sash around her waist tied up in a pretty bow. On her feet were a pair of red heels, and on her hands were a pair of white gloves.
"You look beautiful as always," murmured a smooth voice. Himiko looked up to see Kokichi sitting right across from her with a picnic basket placed in between them. She smiled at him.
"Nyeh...thank you," she replied bashfully with a soft blush on her cheeks. Kokichi stood up and moved over next to Himiko, sitting down right beside her so that he was now in between her and the picnic basket. He reached into the basket and pulled out a cupcake, handing it to her.
"Would you like a cupcake, muffin?" he asked, kissing her cheek. Himiko giggled at his joke and squealed happily as she took the muffin.
"Thank you," she replied, shyly biting into the muffin. It was the sweetest muffin she'd ever tasted. She sighed blissfully.
"Do you like it?" Kokichi asked.
"Yes. I do," Himiko replied with a nod. Kokichi kissed her hand.
"I'm glad," he said. "Because I made it specially for you. You deserve the best, Himiko." Kokichi gently kissed her hand again, this time, both front and back. At his warm touch, Himiko felt her heart soar. She was definitely on cloud nine. She finished her muffin and thanked Kokichi. Kokichi pressed his forehead against hers.
"You're welcome," he murmured. Himiko giggled goofily. She then covered her mouth.
"Oh! W-Was that too weird?" she asked abashedly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be! I love your giggles," Kokichi said, pressing Himiko's hands against his chest. "Your giggles are lovely. But, not as lovely as your beautiful face." Himiko blushed like crazy. She was being complimented endlessly by Kokichi, and she loved it! And even though it wasn't the real Kokichi, she was at least enjoying herself. She found it a little easier to talk to him, as well.
"Kokichi?" she asked.
"Yes, my love?" Kokichi responded.
"Nyeh...would you...like to be my boyfriend?" Himiko asked with hope in her voice. Kokichi cupped Himiko's chin in his hands.
"Darling, I thought you'd never ask!" he cried.
"You mean...you've been waiting for me to ask you that?!" Himiko asked.
"Oh, sweetheart...I've been dying for you to ask me that!" Kokichi exclaimed, kissing both of Himiko's hands. Himiko stared at him in wonder. Part of her wanted to believe that the real Kokichi felt that way. But there's no way he could have. Himiko suddenly felt her heart drop. She was only in a fantasy after all. What was happening to her at that very moment was just an illusion. Kokichi in her dream was only telling her what she wanted to hear. And although she went in knowing that, it still didn't make the possibility of the real Kokichi not feeling the same as his dream counterpart vanish.
"What's the matter, my darling?" Kokichi asked. "Your eyes seem sad now."
"It's just that...you don't really feel that way about me," Himiko replied quietly, turning her head away from Kokichi. Kokichi gently turned her chin back to him.
"Of course I do, my lo-," he began.
"No...you don't," Himiko interrupted, turning her head away again, and lowering it despondently. "Nyeh...who am I kidding? This isn't how you really feel. I'm only...lying to myself."
"What do you mean?" Kokichi asked.
"It's just that...I can't help but think that maybe the way you feel about me is...is..." Himiko began, trying to hold back her tears. Kokichi gently took her hand in his.
"You think it's a lie. You want the way I feel about you to be the same way my real self thinks about you," he finished softly. Himiko turned to him and nodded her head. She thought it was strange how easily he was able to deduce that just like the real Kokichi would. "I see. And what makes me any different than my real self? You put a part of the real me in this dream after all." Himiko blinked in surprise. Was he talking about the strand of hair? If so, did putting that strand of hair into the potion add more than just Kokichi's image in her dream? Could she have added his feelings, too?
"But...you and your real self can't be the same person," Himiko reasoned. "You don't even act like the real Kokichi."
"I may not act the same as him, but how do you know we don't feel the same?" Kokichi asked with a mysterious smile. "I'm only acting this way because you've slightly altered my personality by creating a sweet love dream. But there's a part of me that's still true to the real me. After all, I saw your reaction to when I easily figured out what made you sad. Like the real me, I'm pretty good at reading people, riiiight?" Himiko looked at him in surprise. He was smiling back at her with that all-too-familiar mischievous, cheeky grin, replacing the sweet smile he had earlier. "My real self may feel the same way as I do about you, you know. You'll never know until you talk to him." He then gave her a wink. Himiko felt her hopes rising. Could it be true? Could Kokichi actually like her back?
"Nyeh...I don't like that you're giving me hope," she said hesitantly.
"Well, my job here isn't to fill you up with hope...but with love," Kokichi said, kissing the back of Himiko's hand again. She blushed as she smiled at Kokichi. Kokichi gently tickled Himiko's chin with his fingers. Himiko squealed and inhaled deeply. As she did, she began to float above Kokichi. As she exhaled, she landed slowly right into his arms, wrapping hers around his neck. Kokichi gave her gentle kisses on her cheek, causing Himiko to gasp softly with delight. She felt her heart beat faster as Kokichi pressed his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes.
"You really do have the most beautiful eyes, Himiko," he murmured. "I love the way they sparkle in the sunlight. And I bet they'd sparkle just as beautifully in the moonlight. I hope that, someday, I get a chance to see for myself. I could get lost in your eyes forever, my darling."
"Kokichi..." Himiko breathed. Kokichi then slowly inched his face closer to hers. Himiko gasped softly. He was going to kiss her! She closed her eyes, getting ready to be swept away by his soft, warm lips.
"Himiko!!" Kokichi said suddenly, but it wasn't his own voice coming out of his throat. It was...Tenko's?? Himiko's eyes flew open. She was back in her room. Daylight was streaming through the window that Tenko had opened. Tenko was at Himiko's bedside, shaking her awake. "Himiko! Wake up! It's time for school!" Himiko clenched her fists.
"TENKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" she screeched.
Part Four
Himiko was grouchy that morning after having been waken up by Tenko before Kokichi in her dream could give her a kiss. Thinking about dream Kokichi, however, softened her mood a little. She smiled to herself as she brushed her hair, remembering the way his lips felt against her skin. After washing up in the bathroom, she went downstairs for breakfast. When she turned the corner to go into the kitchen, she bumped right into Kokichi.
"WAAHH!!!" she screamed, then covered her mouth immediately.
"Nee-heehee...that was a pretty intense reaction," Kokichi laughed with amusement.
"Nyeeeh...b-because you s-scared me!!" Himiko stammered, feeling the butterflies in her stomach flutter. "Watch where you're going, you idiot!"
"Idiot?!" Kokichi asked with fake surprise. "Gee, and all this time, I thought you liked me!" Himiko's eyes darted around, and she opened and closed her mouth frantically.
"L-Like you?! LIKE YOU?! Nyeeeh...w-well you th-thought wrong!!" she stammered. "Jeez, you're so annoying!! Now, j-just move out of my way already! Gosh!" Smirking, Kokichi stepped aside and let Himiko through. She shoved her way past him into the kitchen. When she felt safe, she clutched her chest with her hand and took a few deep breaths.
"Nyeh...that was close," she sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She jumped out of her skin and whirled around to see Kokichi there. "AAAHHH!!" she screeched, flinching hard. Kokichi tossed his head back and laughed. Himiko balled her hands into fists. "Why are you sneaking up on me?!"
"Hahahaha...what was 'so close? '" Kokichi asked, making air quotes with his fingers.

"None of your business!!" Himiko snapped. "Now what do you want?!"
"Calm down, calm down," Kokichi replied with a cheeky grin. "I just wanted to tell you that if you wanted waffles, we're out of syrup."
"Yeah, yeah, thanks!" Himiko said testily. "Nyeeeh...are you done?!"
"Nee-heehee...why are you so on edge today?" Kokichi asked. "Does it have anything to with the nightmare you had?" Himiko blinked in confusion at him.
"Nightmare?" she repeated.
"Yeah. You woke up screaming this morning," Kokichi explained.
"O-Oh! Y-Yeah...that's right," Himiko lied. "Yeah, I had, um...a really bad nightmare."
"Oh? What was it about?" Kokichi asked with a sly grin.

"Nyeh! W-Why do you wanna know?!" Himiko asked nervously. Kokichi casually placed his hands behind his head.
"That must have been some nightmare to make you scream so loudly like that," he said. "I was kinda worried about you." Himiko couldn't help herself. She felt her cheeks grow warm as they turned a rosy pink.
He doesn't mean it that way, she thought to herself, trying to force down the warm, fuzzy feeling growing inside of her. He's only worried about you as a \friend!* He's probably actually lying about being worried in the first place! He doesn't care about you!* With that in mind, the warm, fuzzy feeling subsided, as did the blush on her cheeks. Her shoulders dropped.
"It was nothing," she mumbled. "It was actually a nice dream. I was just mad at Tenko for waking me up from it. It only became a nightmare when I realized I was back in the real world."
"I seeee!" Kokichi replied with a cheeky grin. "Sooo, what was your dream about?
"Ugh...why do you wanna know?!" Himiko scoffed. "It wasn't a bad dream, so you don't have to be worried about me anymore."
"Oh, that was a lie," Kokichi replied with a cheeky grin. "I wasn't worried at all. I just said that to get you to tell me what your nightmare was." Himiko stared at him in disbelief. She felt her heart drop. It was just as she thought. She knew it was too good to be true.
"A-HA!!!" Kokichi suddenly exclaimed, startling Himiko.

"W-What?!"

"That look on your face just now!" Kokichi said. "Why did you look so sad all of a sudden, Himiko? Did you want me to be worried about you, hmmm?"
"N-NO!!!" Himiko shouted. "It was just rude of you to say that!!"
"If you thought it was rude, you would have gotten angry at me, not sad," Kokichi pointed out.
"S-So! W-What's your point?!" Himiko stammered defensively as she nervously rubbed her arm. Kokichi inched his face closer to hers.
"You liiiike me, don't you, Himiko?" he teased. Himiko's cheeks turned bright red.
"N-NO!!! WHAT?!?! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!" she shouted.
"Well, when I mentioned it the first time, I meant that I thought you liked me as a friend," Kokichi said with a sneaky grin. "But, now, I'm saying that you like like me."
"WHAAAAT?!" Himiko roared, her cheeks turning deep red. "NO WAY!! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!! I DON'T LIKE LIKE YOU!!! WHO SAID I LIKE LIKE YOU?!?! WHO WOULD EVEN LIKE LIKE YOU?!?! YOU'RE A J-JERK!!!" A very sexy jerk, she thought suddenly to herself. CUT THAT OUT!! STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!!!
"Then, lemme ask you this, how would you feel if I was actually worried about you?" Kokichi asked.
"Nyeeeh...you're not, so why does that matter?" Himiko asked, crossing her arms and turning away from Kokichi.
"Well...what if told you that I was lying about not being worried?" Kokichi asked, placing his hands on Himiko's shoulders. Himiko gasped softly, feeling his touch. It reminded her of her dream, of how Kokichi made her feel. Kokichi then wrapped his arms around her, pressing his cheek against hers. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to be held by Kokichi, if only for a few moments.

"How would you feel if...I actually did care?" Kokichi murmured softly in her ear. "Would you like that...Himiko? " Himiko uttered a shaky breath. Her heart pounded harder against her chest. She absolutely adored when he said her name, and he seemed to know it. She could hear the smirk on his face when he said it. "Would you confess your feelings to me, then, hmmm?" Himiko's eyes shot open. She couldn't let herself say anything to him. She threw his arms off of her.
"Nyeh...I don't like you!" she yelled. Before Kokichi could say or do anything else, she ran out of the kitchen and outside Casa V3. It was a little too early for her to go to school, but she couldn't be at home any longer. One more second and she would have confessed her feelings for Kokichi, and her life would have been over. She sighed in frustration, but also longingly. She loved the feeling of Kokichi's arms around her. She already missed his low, flirty voice in her ear. She loved how he made her heart pound. She wanted more. She decided that later that night, she'd try out a spicy love dream for a more daring experience with Kokichi.