Perhaps accidentally, the party managed to wrap up a couple of major quests on floor 2 this session. In addition to a very cute dog in attendance irl, we had:
-Freyja, Half Elf Paladin of Mielekee, a gothic woman seeking vengeance on her’s father’s killer.
-Nazar, Goliath Paladin of Tyr, an upright man in exceptional armour, seeking a holy relic.
-Felicity, Aaracockra Bard, a cunning and curious birdfolk with dark musical tastes.
-Archimedes, Gnome Artificer in his owl themed armor, seeking to make magical items.
-Goba, Dwarf-Duergar Fighter-Barbarian, a noble bounty hunter on someone’s trail.
They also have Nanaz, Goba’s manservant, and the vengeful revenant Halleth, as companions.
MIDNA’S SHADOWS
The session began with battle against Halleth’s final murderer, Midna, Cleric of Shar. Her plush chamber was plunged into darkness that especially obscured things to Nazar- except, oddly, the Shrine of Shar which remained unnaturally visible in the black.
Ten shades were conjured alongside two shadow mastiffs to bog down the party, while Midna shot their one light source- a little clockwork flash-walker Archimedes had made. Nazar held the line, barely buffeted by the shades, while Freyja and Archimedes stabbed and zapped her black hounds. Halleth used his new ability, with a cry of “onwards, for Vengeance!” to let him and Goba rush forwards without opportunity attacks to corner her.
Quickly, the shades and hounds fell, and Nazar, able to see only one thing, threw a rock at the shrine of Shar and charged over. This immediately elevated him as Midna’s main target, and she tried to hack at him with a cursed sickle, only for Goba to run her through. Midna died surprisingly peacefully, muttering that it didn’t matter.
In the aftermath, as the light returned, Nazar pulled out his warhammer and set about demolishing the statue of the dark goddess. He felt a brief call, an offer that he could gain the power to see through the darkness like his allies, but he turned it down and smashed the shrine apart. Earning a Curse of Shar.
Curse of Shar- Plagued by the dark goddesses wrath, you are weakened as your memories fade. While cursed you have disadvantage on Saving Throws against Magic, and lose proficiency in one random skill. Each long rest, make a DC 18 Wisdom Saving Throw. On a failure, you lose proficiency in another random skill.
Nazar lost memories of conversations had around campfires, losing a portion of his charm and the Persuasion skill first.
CALL OF VENGEANCE
While others were looted the room for gold, suspecting the feast of poison, and finding nice clothes, Halleth remained animated, stabbing Midna again and again. When Archimedes intervened and removed her holy symbols- offering the undead cleric the symbol of Waukeen, he looked at it with barely any emotion on his bleeding face.
“She never opened her gates to me. Why would that change now?” Halleth growled, “There are more debts to collect. More wrongs to right. So much evil to punish. Can’t you hear the call of vengeance?”
They couldn’t but Halleth grumbled that something- an angel- had reached out to him when he last lay dead, promising to slay the evils of undermountain. And somehow, with this being’s power, the revenant doesn’t die yet. Instead, the party watched uncertainly as he tried to leave, collapsed as his body fell apart, and his soul seemed to sink down into the stonework.
They have completed his quest for vengeance, but something calls him to linger on in the dungeon. Archimedes pocketed the two holy symbols of Waukeen and Shar, and after desecrating the rest of this room, they left.
SPIDER EYES WATCHPOST
Or more like Snake Eyes Watchpost.
With the party still in good shape, they decided to go tick off another notch of a quest, and returned to the northernmost Xanathar Watchpost to take it down. This was a tricky fight, against a dozen bugbears, a handful of human mobsters, a mutant drow, and a corridor full of traps.
Well, it was tricky in theory.
Only Goba and Nazar actually had to face the trapped pressure plates littering the corridor, and their toughness and armour turned aside every dart. Felicity flew over them, Archimedes spider-climbed to run along the ceiling, and Freyja pulled out her bow and sniped from the corridor’s end.
Against terrifying blades and thunderous magic, most of the bugbear runts fell like bowling pins. Shun, the spider-faced drow, commanded his men to try and shoot down the “turkey”, littering Felicity with far more feathers than she was meant to have, and tried to bring down Goba and Nazar with poisoned bolts. He failed. He panicked, and he retreated behind a screen of mobsters and bugbears.
Said goons immediately almost died to Archimedes’ shatter, then were put to Sleep by Felicity, allowing the frontliners to run over them and hack the cowardly drow apart. The rest died quickly in the aftermath, with only a brief tussle where a brawler yanked Felicity out of the air, slammed her onto a pressure plate, and got his mate shot and killed by the dart trap.
Another Outpost clear! Two outta three!
In the chambers beyond, they found a mountainous larder of rations, enough to sustain the party for a hundred days if only they could carry it all. Which they can, using the portable hole. Rex’s body was discarded.
The outpost had a rough map of the floor, some other chests for which they found keys. In one, a crimson eyeball abruptly lurched out, floating into the air with a sinuous tentacle hanging it from it like a malevolent ocular jellyfish.
“SHUN, WHAT’S THE STATU- OH, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, BOY?”
It’s telepathic voice blared into their skulls, taking in the scene before demanding the Xanathar password- how many eyes does the Xanathar have?
Apparently nine was not the correct answer, and so the eye blasted Nazar with a burst laser blast. Felicity was quick to flit into the air and stab it with a psychic blade, hearing one final thought blare into her mind as it died.
“BRING IT ON, FOOL, I KNOW YOUR FACES, AND MY EYES ARE ALWAYS OPEN.”
Xanathar has seen them.

The Pelli Poola Jada, a traditional floral hair adornment, has been an integral part of South Indian bridal fashion for centuries. This beautiful accessory not only enhances the bride's beauty but also symbolizes purity and prosperity. As wedding trends evolve, so do the styles and designs of Pelli Poola Jada, merging traditional elements with modern aesthetics. In this blog, we'll explore some of the trending Pelli Poola Jada styles that are captivating the hearts of modern brides.

Trending Pelli Poola Jada Styles for Modern Brides

1. Classic Floral Cascade

The timeless charm of a classic floral cascade never goes out of style. This traditional design features a long braid adorned with an array of fresh flowers, typically jasmine, roses, or marigolds. The simplicity and elegance of the classic floral cascade make it a favorite among brides who want to stay rooted in tradition while exuding grace and beauty.

2. Jewel-Embedded Jada

For brides who love a touch of sparkle, jewel-embedded Pelli Poola Jada is a perfect choice. This style incorporates intricate jewelry pieces such as pearls, kundan, or semi-precious stones into the floral arrangement. The combination of flowers and jewels creates a luxurious look, adding an opulent touch to the bride’s overall appearance.

3. Fusion of Flowers and Ribbons

Modern brides are increasingly opting for innovative designs that blend traditional elements with contemporary flair. The fusion of flowers and ribbons is one such trend. In this style, colorful ribbons are intertwined with fresh flowers, creating a vibrant and playful look. This design is ideal for brides who want to add a pop of color and a modern twist to their traditional attire.

4. Botanical Wonderland

Inspired by the beauty of nature, the botanical wonderland Pelli Poola Jada features a mix of different types of flowers, leaves, and even tiny berries. This eclectic and whimsical design brings a touch of the garden to the bride’s ensemble, making it perfect for outdoor and garden weddings. The diversity of botanical elements creates a rich, textured look that is both unique and enchanting.

5. Minimalist Chic

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, and minimalist Pelli Poola Jada styles are gaining popularity among brides who prefer understated elegance. This design focuses on fewer, carefully selected flowers arranged in a clean, linear fashion along the braid. The minimalist chic style is perfect for brides who want a sophisticated, modern look without overwhelming details.

6. Traditional with a Modern Twist

For brides who wish to honor tradition but also embrace modern trends, a traditional Pelli Poola Jada with a modern twist is the way to go. This style incorporates traditional flowers like jasmine and roses but adds unique elements such as feathers, lace, or even dried flowers. The blend of old and new creates a distinctive look that celebrates cultural heritage while showcasing individual style.

7. Floral Crown and Jada Combo

Combining the elegance of a floral crown with the beauty of a Pelli Poola Jada, this style is perfect for brides who want to make a bold statement. The floral crown sits atop the head, while the jada adorns the braid, creating a harmonious and regal appearance. This dual design is ideal for brides who want to blend princess-like charm with traditional bridal aesthetics.

8. Seasonal Blooms

Choosing seasonal blooms for the Pelli Poola Jada not only ensures fresh and vibrant flowers but also adds a unique touch to the bridal look. Seasonal flowers reflect the time of year and can be tailored to the wedding theme, making the bride’s ensemble feel more personal and connected to the season. From springtime blossoms to winter florals, the possibilities are endless.

Final Thoughts

The Pelli Poola Jada is more than just a hair accessory; it's a celebration of tradition, beauty, and cultural heritage. With these trending styles, modern brides can find the perfect balance between honoring timeless customs and expressing their unique personality. Whether you opt for a classic floral cascade or a minimalist chic design, the Pelli Poola Jada will undoubtedly add an enchanting touch to your bridal look, making your special day even more memorable.
Embrace these trends, and let your Pelli Poola Jada be a reflection of your style and elegance. Happy wedding planning!

Preface: This is for Vedic, Sidereal Astrology.
This took a super long time to finish, but I've finally reached a point where I think I'm done trying to improve it. This part will focus more on how Purva Bhadrapada manifests for individuals.
Nature
Purva Bhadrapada reminds me a lot of Kali Yuga. In Hindu cosmology, Kali is the final of the four ages that the world goes through as part of a continuous cycle of creation, maintenance, and dissolution. It is the final stage before the onset of a new cycle, promising the destruction of the old order and the eventual merging of all into a unified whole. It signifies a time of dual balance before dissolution of individual identities and the reunification of all existence with the divine source. This can be viewed as being similar to the process of individual death, but it is on a universal scale. Kali Yuga is considered the age of darkness and moral decline, where spiritual values deteriorate and materialism prevails. According to Hindu scriptures, Kali Yuga is characterized by widespread social, political, and moral corruption, as well as a decline in virtue and Dharma (righteousness). It is believed that, during this age, human beings face numerous challenges and spiritual tests, and the pursuit of higher consciousness becomes increasingly more difficult compared to the previous Yugas. Just as Kali Yuga tests individuals with challenges to their spiritual resolve amidst the prevailing degeneration of values, Purva Bhadrapada is a cosmic stage where one's truest nature is tested through the weakening separation of the spiritual and the material. Here, individuals are made to confront their deepest fears and desires, burdened with the challenge of facing their true nature and purifying their souls. The emphasis of this nakshatra lies in releasing attachments amidst the seduction of outer freedom and power, mirroring the spiritual trials inherent to Kali Yuga. Yet, despite challenges of degeneration, there exists a unique opportunity during the stages of both Kali and Purva Bhadrapada. Kali is believed to be the best time for spiritual progress and true liberation because individuals can attain spiritual growth more rapidly due to the intensity of the challenges they face during this period, and the same is true of Purva Bhadrapada nakshatra. Both Kali and Purva Bhadrapada emphasize the importance of transcending mundane concerns and dedicatedly seeking spiritual truth amidst the backdrop of pervading ignorance.

The primary nature of Purva Bhadrapada is that of penance and disequilibrium. Purva Bhadrapada is the stage of evolution where individuals are made to undergo intense internal transformation and dissolution, shedding layers of their being in preparation for spiritual renewal and divine return. This process of metamorphosis can be seen as a type of penance, whether embraced willingly or thrust upon them. It offers eventual rewards as they journey towards enlightenment. As the primary nature of Purva Bhadrapada revolves around penance and transformation, individuals heavily influenced by this Nakshatra are oriented towards personal introspection and societal purification, viewing their lives as both a personal quest for growth and an opportunity to contribute to the greater good. Individually, they seek to cleanse themselves of past transgressions and strive for spiritual redemption. They feel personally responsible and remorseful for their impact on others. At a broader societal level, they are driven by a strong sense of justice and a duty to rectify societal wrongs to contribute to the collective upliftment and purification of their community. As such, they often subject themselves and others to extreme physical, mental, and spiritual challenges. They are presented with a kind of spiritual trial of sacrifice: either they can willingly embrace self-denial and endure while remaining detached, or they can create so much desire and fear that it causes them to lose the direction of their souls in the process. While the primary manifestation of Purva Bhadrapada energy is inwardly focused on cultivating self-discipline and perfection, oftentimes to an unhealthy degree, sometimes the focus can instead shift outward. This is where Purva Bhadrapada gains a lot of its infamy; Purva Bhadrapada is revered as one of the most "difficult" and "intense" nakshatras among Vedic astrologers. It is an asterism that gets approached with trepidation due to its somber imagery and associations with themes of violence, debauchery, and malevolence. The negative traits linked to Purva Bhadrapada, such as paranoia, pessimism, and hedonism, contribute to its daunting reputation. And for the most part, the fear of this nakshatra is justified. Not only are these individuals capable of doling out punishment themselves through various means like violence, manipulation, curses, etc., but they can also inadvertently bring out the self-destructive or uncontrolled nature of others. They are the types to cause deep introspection and confrontation with one's own shortcomings and fears, often acting as catalysts for irreversible transformation of character.

In terms of Purva Bhadrapada's inherently unbalanced nature, the trajectory is quite clear. These natives are not the type to do anything in moderation and often have an unstable demeanor and sense of self. They will always be pulled towards the polar extremes of anything, but they can flip on their values rapidly following any transformative event. They may occupy the deepest levels of material saturation, completely lost in chasing fame, drugs, sex, and uncontained immoral activities. Yet, paradoxically, they can also find themselves drawn to the heights of spiritual austerity, sometimes even at the same time they are trying to maximize their material standing. This innate propensity for extremes and contradiction manifests in every aspect of their lives, from their relationships, to their goals, to their beliefs, and to their actions. They are esteemed for their amiable disposition, characterized by warmth, thoughtfulness, and a selfless inclination to assist others without seeking acknowledgment. Yet, concurrently, they are often perceived as self-serving, prone to bouts of ill temper, and housing a proclivity towards ego-centricity. Despite appearing outwardly normal a lot of the time, they can be very eccentric. They are the types to lead clandestine lives, harboring secrets and maintaining hidden facets of their personalities and activities, even to those closest to them. This can make them seem nefarious and untrustworthy. Sometimes this is the case, but despite having a reputation for deceit, many of them are known to be sincere and honorable. Yet, underlying however they are being perceived is a deeper struggle to fully identify with anything. This challenge leads to inner conflicts and uncertainties, as they grapple with their sense of self and their place in the world. They are up and down–left and right, constantly in a state of internal conflict that leaves them questioning who they really are. They can feel like they don't know themselves while still being hyper-individualistic and defensive over whatever their current sense of identity is, even though it is likely to change. These contradictions reveal the complexity of their psyche, where outer appearances often mask inner conflicts and contradictory emotions and experiences. Purva Bhadrapada natives navigate the space where boundaries are starting to blur, reflecting the burgeoning singularity of existence in their minds. Due to this, sometimes they can seem like walking contradictions, embodying multiple clashing characteristics at once. For example, while they may harbor a sense of superiority over others, they can also experience deep-seated insecurity and jealousy. They can like to be critical, but cannot handle criticism. Additionally, they might demonstrate a strong desire for independence and self-reliance, yet simultaneously crave validation and approval from those around them. These conflicting traits contribute to their complex and enigmatic nature, making them intriguing yet challenging individuals to understand to others and themselves.

Purva Bhadrapada's inclination towards extremes extends to their pursuit of goals, as they approach certain tasks with unwavering ambition and dedication. They set high standards and are willing to push themselves to extreme limits to get what they want. This relentless drive for perfection and attainment can sometimes lead them to engage in behaviors that are harmful to the well-being of themselves or others, as they struggle to find balance and moderation. At this point, you may be asking, "how is that penance if they are only striving to selfishly get what they want?" Well, the painful truth about this is that they do not really want these things. They are told by others ignorant to their situation that they will be happy when they achieve some kind of abstruse goal set forth for them by society, and they are sent on a goose-chase of material ambition to achieve happiness, but this inevitably only leads to further dissatisfaction. They are met with pain, humiliation, and harsh transformation, but they keep pushing towards their aspiration of material fulfillment. It is only when they get that job, marry that partner, become famous, etc. that they realize it does not bring them happiness or fill them with the sense of purpose they crave. In fact, this realization often sparks intense anger within them as they confront the worthlessness of what they spent all their time chasing. The journey through Purva Bhadrapada is undeniably arduous, but that is to be expected with such a potent force. They are called to transcend their attachments, lest they be forcefully ripped away. They begin to grapple with an inescapable emptiness they feel when interacting with the world, and this can often lead them to deep feelings of nihilism. Purva Bhadrapada natives are predisposed to being unhappy, and this is not a shallow kind of unhappiness that fades based on external circumstances. Rather, it is a deeply existential depression– a feeling of confused worthlessness and dissatisfaction they often battle with for the duration of their lives. Their experiences and attachments become increasingly burdensome as they grow more aware of the fleeting nature of life amidst the desire they have to get the most out of their lives. These natives openly acknowledge the impermanence of worldly intentions, and this can make their minds unpredictable and unstable. Their newfound philosophy can be used to justify any actions according to moral relativism. This marks the beginning of a test of their true nature as they grapple with the realities of life. If nothing matters in the grand scheme – where whatever you do will eventually fade into obscurity, wiped away with the start of a new cycle – they become mentally uninhibited, feeling free to do whatever they please. The real concern lies in what they choose to do with this. Doing whatever you want only becomes harmful when what you want is harmful. But sadly, the reality is that mast people are not strong enough to fully resist the temptation of evil. Therefore, this trial is exclusively administered to individuals who possess a high level of spiritual advancement. Regardless of the difficulties they face, those governed by Purva Bhadrapada have tremendous inner strength and personal resilience, which often manifests in worldly and spiritual achievement and prosperity in various facets of their lives.

Individuals born under the influence of the Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra are inherently inclined towards detachment from external influences. This detachment often leads them down two distinct paths. Some choose to embrace a life unbound by societal norms, driven solely by their inner convictions. These individuals seek to experience life to the fullest, embracing both its joys and challenges. However, if they feel unfulfilled, they may turn to darker pursuits in search of excitement. Conversely, others utilize their detachment for spiritual advancement, renouncing materialism in favor of a disciplined quest for higher truths. In both cases, detachment becomes a defining trait, shaping their lives in divergent yet meaningful ways. Whether they become revolutionary leaders or appear lazy due to their selective motivation, their actions are stirred only by what truly invigorates their souls. Their inner character often changes with time. They can often start out seeming quite innocent and fragile, and a lot of the time they will have something about them that invites torment, be it their big and eccentric personalities, their height, their weight, their looks, etc. This often leads people to perceive them as different and vulnerable. Unfortunately, this vulnerability often attracts individuals who seek to exploit, victimize, or corrupt them. There's a noticeable pattern of others attempting to take advantage of their perceived weakness, whether it be through just trying to make them feel bad, manipulating them, coercing them to do things they do not want to, or forcing them to be alone by treating them as outcasts. This predatory behavior can leave these individuals feeling isolated, betrayed, and miserable, further fueling their inner turmoil and sense of disillusionment with the world around them. However, this also serves to strengthen them. During the course of their lives, they will experience a series of external transformations that will change who they are. While their soft and innocent demeanor may still be present in some ways, there will be a new darker side to their nature. The inner transformations that Purva Bhadrapada natives undergo change them into stronger, more hardened versions of themselves. This alteration can manifest in tendencies towards violence, aggression, deceit, manipulation, etc., yet at the same time, it also equips them with the strength and capability to protect others when needed. As they navigate the complexities of life, they become formidable forces, possessing the resilience and detachment to confront challenges head-on along with the capacity to wield their strength for both good and evil.


Purva Bhadrapada natives exhibit a curious mix of flippanse and seriousness, often displaying a casual attitude towards many topics yet demonstrating am air of severe solemnity in regards to topics concerning philosophical and existential matters in particular. They possess a keen intellect of innovation and creativity, excelling in fields like science and research owing to their insatiable thirst for knowledge and a relentless pursuit of deeper truth. While they may have a religious inclination, their focus lies more on unraveling the essence of spirituality rather than adhering rigidly to dogma. As a result of their approach to religion, it can sometimes lead them to be critical of conventional religious practices, which rely heavily on rules and ritual. These natives disdain hypocrisy and superficiality, valuing authenticity and depth in both thought and action. However, despite their outward confidence, they often wrestle with inner self-doubt and a crippling fear of failure, which leaves little room for optimism when faced with setbacks. While they typically prefer solitude, they may inadvertently exploit relationships when seeking to escape the monotony of everyday life. They are driven by an innate desire to transcend mediocrity and be perceived as exceptional and unique. This drive for excellence and distinction stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and a fear of judgment, compelling them to constantly push the boundaries and strive for success through originality in all aspects of their lives. n personal relationships, Purva Bhadrapada natives may struggle to balance their need for independence with a desire for connection. Generally, in their interactions with others, Purva Bhadrapada natives are intense yet detached. Despite their desire for authenticity and closeness in relationships, they may struggle to express their true feelings openly, fearing rejection or misunderstanding. This internal conflict between their need for connection and their fear of vulnerability can create barriers to intimacy, causing them to retreat into solitude or self-imposed isolation. In addition, their critical nature and high standards can sometimes alienate others, as they can come across as overly judgmental or demanding. They do value depth and sincerity in relationships, but they also tend to push others away with their intensity. Despite this, they are often very empathic and understanding and can offer support to those they hold dear.

Before I get into the padas, I want to give some examples. I do not want to go into much detail or take up too much time with this, but given the very complicated nature of this nakshatra, I feel that it is necessary to provide media representations for people to look into if they are interested in knowing more about how it manifests: Martin Scorsese PB Moon and Andrew Garfield PB ASC (Silence Official Trailer (2016) - Paramount Pictures), Billie Eilish PB ASC (Billie Eilish - bury a friend (Official Music Video)), Jack Black PB Moon (School of Rock (2003) Trailer #1 Movieclips Classic Trailers), Dylan O'brien PB Moon (AMERICAN ASSASSIN - Official Trailer - HD (Dylan O'Brien, Michael Keaton), Logan-Marshall Green (Upgrade Trailer #1 (2018) Movieclips Trailers), Paul Walker PB Moon (Hours TRAILER (2013) - Paul Walker Movie HD), Bill Skarsgard PB Moon (The Crow - Official Trailer (2024) Bill Skarsgård, FKA twigs, Danny Huston), Olivia Wilde PB Sun (A VIGILANTE Official HD International Trailer Starring Olivia Wilde) & (The Lazarus Effect Official Trailer #1 (2015) - Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass Movie HD), John Stamos PB ASC (John Stamos Stars in "Secrets of Eden" Lifetime), Hozier PB Sun (the lyrics and imagery of this video are extremely Purva Bhadrapada) Hozier - Take Me To Church), Kaya Scoledario PB Sun (Spinning Out Official Trailer Netflix), Ryan Gosling PB ASC (THE FALL GUY Official Trailer 2 (Universal Studios) - HD), Camila Mendes PB Moon (Do Revenge Official Trailer Netflix), Bryan Cranston PB Sun (Breaking Bad Trailer), Sabrina Carpenter PB Moon and Milo Manheim PB Sun (Sabrina Carpenter - Feather (Official Video) Alexandra Daddario PB Sun (Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches Trailer: Starring Alexandra Daddario AMC+), Jacob Elordi PB Moon (2 HEARTS Official Trailer (2020) Jacob Elordi, Tiera Skovbye), Tom Blyth PB Moon (Billy The Kid (EPIX 2022 Series) Official Trailer), Daniel Gillies PB Sun (COMING HOME IN THE DARK Trailer (2021) Daniel Gillies Suspense Thriller Movie), Matthew Gray Gubler PB Sun (KING KNIGHT Trailer (2022) Angela Sarafyan, Matthew Gray Gubler), Jon Hamm (Corner Office (2023) Official Trailer - Jon Hamm, Danny Pudi, Sarah Gadon), Rachel Weisz PB Sun + Moon and Sam Claflin PB Moon (MY COUSIN RACHEL Official Trailer FOX Searchlight), Chris Pine PB Moon (Jack Reacher Movie Trailer), Madison Beer PB Sun (Madison Beer - Make You Mine (Official Music Video), Sharon Stone PB Sun (Basic Instinct - Trailer (1080p)), and Michael Jackson PB Moon (Michael Jackson - Thriller (Official 4K Video).

Padas

(mostly for Moon) They all tend to be skinny to middle weight until they get older, where they either become more muscular or plump/curvy.

1st – The first pada of Purva Bhadrapada, falling in the Aries Navamsa, signifies a stage of primal energy and raw ambition. With Mars as their guiding force, they exhibit a relentless drive to achieve their goals, refusing to be deterred by obstacles or setbacks. However, being the initial pada of the nakshatra just leaving the stage of Shatabhisha, this quarter is the least spiritually developed. While they may possess great worldly ambition and the capacity for success, they may also be prone to ego-driven actions and an overly narrow focus on material pursuits. They can get into occultism or spirituality, but it is usually an attempt to further themselves in the material realm. Natives born under this pada possess a combative nature, always ready to engage in confrontations to defend their beliefs or assert their dominance. They tend to be more mentally aggressive than physically, but nonetheless their volatile temperament can lead to physical disputes as well when they are provoked enough. They know they can be very damaging when they lose control, so they will do everything in their power to prevent escalation. Ironically, this can make them seem passive. They typically exhibit anxious tendencies while attempting to conceal or downplay their feelings of worry. Natives of this pada are extremely passionate, but they have a tendency to constantly compare themselves to others, which ultimately can lead them to disregard their efforts to focus on surpassing someone else's. This propensity of theirs for aggression, envy, and competitiveness can strain relationships and hinder their personal growth, as they become consumed by their own desires for dominance and validation. They are usually medium tall with a wide forehead and low eyebrows.

2nd – The second pada of Purva Bhadrapada, ruled by Venus in the Taurus Navamsa, embodies a stage of sensual indulgence and creative expression. Individuals born under this pada are drawn to the occult and mysteries of the unseen, often delving into practices such as astrology and black magic. There is a bit of detachment from the mysticism of it at this stage though. They may prefer to look at it through a scientific or philosophical perspective as opposed to one that embraces faith in the divine. While their interest in these esoteric realms may lead to proficiency in such arts, it also heightens their propensity to lose track of their life's direction, becoming absorbed in the pursuit of hidden knowledge and power. Natives of this pada are characterized by their attractive physique, with beautiful broad teeth and strikingly captivating eyes that draw others to them. They possess an innate charm that makes them highly appealing to the opposite sex, and they are not hesitant to indulge in their darker desires and fantasies. Their creativity knows no bounds, as they constantly innovate and explore new avenues of expression. However, despite their magnetic allure and creative flair, individuals of this pada are prone to indulgence and excess, particularly when it comes to satisfying their sensual appetites. Their pursuit of pleasure and gratification can sometimes lead them astray, causing them to lose sight of their responsibilities and priorities. This stage of Purva Bhadrapada is more spiritually evolved than the prior, but it is still in the accumulation phase of Aquarius and the 11th house. Despite their outward charm, they may struggle to find stability and balance in their lives. They are prone to accidents.

3rd – The third pada of Purva Bhadrapada falls in the Gemini Navamsa and is ruled by Mercury. Natives born under this pada embody the mental side of Purva Bhadrapada, which is very focused on cultivating critical reasoning and gathering information, emphasizing communication, learning, and adaptability. Individuals born under this pada are intellectually inclined, constantly seeking to expand their knowledge and understanding of the world around them. They are playful and curious by nature, approaching life with a sense of wonder and exploration. Their energy is expressed through communication and expression, as they excel in articulating their thoughts and ideas. They have a natural gift for language and may find success in fields such as writing, teaching, or public speaking. Despite their playful demeanor, they are still very serious about their pursuits, driven by a deep-seated desire for personal growth and self-improvement. Natives of this pada tend to be peaceful and honorable, seeking harmony and balance in their interactions with others. However, their mercurial nature can sometimes manifest as manipulation or deceit, particularly when they perceive it necessary to achieve their goals. Nonetheless, they are skilled at navigating social situations and may possess a knack for making money through their cleverness and resourcefulness. In terms of appearance, individuals of this pada may have gaunt lower cheeks, high cheekbones, a narrow and defined jawline, and a medium stature. These physical characteristics complement their sharp wit and agile minds, making them engaging in social settings.

4th – The fourth pada of Purva Bhadrapada is ruled by the Moon in Cancer Navamsa. This is the most spiritually advanced of all the padas and tends to be among the most intense. At this stage, individuals born under this pada have either undergone profound inner transformation, shedding their attachment to worldly desires and material gains for the sake of aligning with the cosmic order, or they have fallen for the empty temptations of material life, leading them to a deeper state of moral decay. This pada in the sequence of this nakshatra symbolizes the finalization of death, and just like when we die, the impact of our lives can no longer be altered. You are called to surrender all you have acquired to the purifying flames of the spiritual fire, relinquishing personal benefit for the greater good, and if you fail, your soul will be lost to another cycle of rebirth. This represents the height of the nakshatra's power to manifest, it can come to be either an uplifting force for individuals and humanity as a whole, or as a potentially dangerous influence. Those born under this pada are deeply engaged in their own spiritual pursuits, usually guided by a sense of purpose and higher calling. They possess an innate magnetism and power that exerts influence over others and the world around them. Despite the intensity of their spiritual journey, individuals of this pada tend to enjoy good longevity and robust health, thanks to their deep connection with the cosmic energies. They are often perceived charismatic individuals, drawing others to them with their presence. However, their innate power comes with a responsibility to wield it wisely, as they hold the potential to bring about significant positive change or destruction, depending on how they choose to channel it.


Caste

Purva Bhadrapada belongs to the Brahmin or priestly/scholarly caste. This classification is based on the inherent qualities and tendencies of individuals born under this nakshatra, rather than their family lineage, as seen in contemporary caste systems. In Vedic astrology and Hindu tradition, each nakshatra is associated with as caste, thereby linking them to specific attributes, occupations, and societal roles. Brahmin is positioned as the highest caste and is given the most power and responsibility, both socially and spiritually. In classical texts, the Brahmin caste is exalted for its dedication to scholarship, spirituality, and moral rectitude. Brahmins are depicted as the keepers of sacred knowledge, entrusted with the preservation and dissemination of ancient scriptures and teachings. They are revered for their intellectual prowess, philosophical insights, and commitment to upholding the highest ethical standards. Brahmins are expected to lead lives of austerity, simplicity, and self-discipline, setting examples of virtue and righteousness for society. Additionally, they play important roles in leading religious rituals, ceremonies, and spiritual practices, acting as intermediaries between individuals and the divine. Their contributions also extend beyond religious and intellectual realms though, as they also provide guidance, counseling, and healing to individuals and communities. Overall, Brahmins are portrayed as paragons of virtue, wisdom, and enlightenment, embodying the highest ideals of human excellence and divine knowledge as described in classical texts, acting as oases of wisdom by guiding society not only in matters of spirituality but also in areas such as literature, philosophy, and science. Their primary occupations are mostly associated with administration of all sectors of society, teaching, healing, and providing spiritual guidance. Its intersection with Aquarius Rashi on the ecliptic plane may also relate it to Kshatriya and Shudra.
Gunas
The nakshatras each represent the different gunas at different levels of functioning. For this asterism, it might be confusing to find out that, despite all of its negative connotations, it is associated primarily with Sattva or purity/balance. This mainly stems from this Nakshatra's capacity for penance, spiritualism, and generosity. Overall, Purva Bhadrapada is associated with two levels of Sattva and one of Rajas. Sattva prevails at the physical and mental levels, while Rajas predominates at the spiritual level. At the physical level, individuals born under Purva Bhadrapada exhibit qualities of purity, harmony, and balance. They are often composed, grounded, and possess a sense of stability in their physical endeavors. Mentally, they tend to exhibit clarity, wisdom, and a penchant for introspection when they are only focused on engaging their rational mind. This can get muddy when they try to incorporate less tangible aspects into their thinking though. At the spiritual level, the influence of Rajas emerges, driving them towards spiritual growth and evolution but also threatening them with the struggle of inner turmoil. With Rajas at the most personal level of the spirit, this can cause a onstant seeking pf external validation and gratification, which leads to things such as constantly chasing after fleeting desires and pleasures from their lack of contentment. Additionally, the intense drive associated with Rajas may result in overexertion, burnout, and a disregard for self-care. It can lead to an inflated ego, arrogance, and a tendency towards manipulative or self-serving behavior. Therefore, while Rajas can propel individuals towards spiritual evolution, it also poses challenges that need to be navigated with mindfulness and self-awareness. Together with the heavy influence of Sattva, Rajas in this nakshatra creates a spiritual restlessness that works to propel these natives to actively engage in spiritual practices, seeking to transcend worldly limitations and attain spiritual liberation. It comes with risk, but this is a necessary trial.


Gana

Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra falls under the category of Manushya Gana, or "human/mixed species." This designation speaks to the inherent qualities and tendencies of individuals born under this nakshatra, aligning them with human characteristics and behaviors. People belonging to the Manushya Gana Nakshatras, including Purva Bhadrapada, place value on their self-worth and esteem. They often enjoy good physical attributes and are blessed with fortune, leading comfortable lives. With warm and friendly personalities, they exhibit care and affection towards their family, friends, and loved ones, readily offering assistance to those in need. However, they also prioritize their own interests and benefits. They are known for their warm and caring nature, and while they may appear busy if approached, they are capable of balancing their personal and professional lives effectively. The path of those born under Manushya Gana nakshatras is undefined. They possess the potential to exhibit both positive and negative qualities, akin to the diverse nature of humanity itself. They have the potential to be even more evil than the Rakshas and even more good than the Devas. While some may lean towards acts of kindness and generosity, others may display tendencies that are less altruistic. This blend of qualities makes them a complex combination qualities you might see for the Deva and Rakshasa Ganas. Keep in mind that you should look at the dominant Gana in your chart to gain a better understanding of how this may apply to you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this if you did. I will have to continue this in a third part because I'm out of room on this post. Afterwards, I will be starting on Shravana Nakshatra soon, and then later on Anuradha.

**Prologue: The Catalyst in Rochester**
In the year 2024, the city of Rochester, New York, became the epicenter of a new genetic awakening. The super mutant X-gene, a long-dormant strand of DNA granting extraordinary abilities to its carriers, began to spread rapidly among the population. The outbreak was mysterious, sudden, and uncontrollable. Amidst the chaos, a covert group known as The Catalyst emerged. Comprised of modern-day mutants and scientists, they sought to understand and contain the outbreak.
**Chapter 1: The Journey Back in Time**
The Catalyst, led by the brilliant and enigmatic Dr. Valerie Pierce, discovered an ancient artifact that hinted at a solution buried in the past. This relic, a temporal displacement device, could transport them through time. Dr. Pierce, accompanied by her team, embarked on a perilous journey to the 1800s, during the tumultuous years of the American Civil War, seeking answers from a forgotten era.
**Chapter 2: The Unlikely Heroes**
Arriving in the year 1863, The Catalyst found themselves in the midst of a nation torn apart. Amidst the conflict, they learned of six remarkable children who had gained extraordinary abilities, seemingly from nowhere. These children were:

1. **Lila Lawson** - A brilliant African-American girl with the power to manipulate energy and a fierce determination to fight for justice. She was a close ally of Harriet Tubman and played a crucial role in the Underground Railroad.
   
2. **Benjamin Booker** - A young inventor with an uncanny ability to understand and manipulate machinery.
   
3. **Clara Carter** - A gifted telepath who could communicate across vast distances and read minds.
   
4. **Samuel Scott** - A prodigious tactician with the power to foresee future events.
   
5. **William Wright** - A master of elemental manipulation, capable of controlling fire, water, earth, and air.
   
6. **Martha Miller** - A healer with the power to mend wounds and cure diseases instantly.
   

**Chapter 3: Mr. Lincoln's Secret Weapon**
Upon hearing of these extraordinary children, President Abraham Lincoln saw an opportunity to turn the tide of the war and create a better future for the nation. He formed a secret group known as S.T.E.A.M. Force, an acronym for Scientific Tactical Engineering and Mutations. This clandestine team, operating under the utmost secrecy, became the Avengers of their time, fighting for freedom and justice.
**Chapter 4: The Hidden Sanctuary**
To protect S.T.E.A.M. Force from those who would exploit their powers, President Lincoln and his trusted advisors, including Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglass, concealed them in a secret location: an underground chamber hidden beneath the Appalachian Mountains. Here, the children continued to develop their powers and inventions, becoming a symbol of hope and resilience.
**Chapter 5: The Time Anomaly**
As the war drew to a close, a time anomaly occurred, freezing S.T.E.A.M. Force in a temporal stasis. Uncertain of how to reverse the phenomenon, Lincoln and his confidants decided to leave them hidden, preserving their secret until a time when they would be needed again.
**Chapter 6: Awakening in a New Era**
Over a century and a half later, in 2024, The Catalyst uncovered the hidden sanctuary. With great care, they reactivated the temporal displacement device, unfreezing the members of S.T.E.A.M. Force. The six heroes awoke to a world vastly different from their own, yet one that needed their courage and ingenuity more than ever.
**Chapter 7: A New Call to Action**
As the spread of the X-gene threatened to plunge the modern world into chaos, S.T.E.A.M. Force, now equipped with advanced steam-powered suits amplifying their abilities, were called back into action. They joined forces with The Catalyst, combining their 19th-century wisdom with 21st-century technology to face the challenges ahead.
**Epilogue: Legacy of the S.T.E.A.M. Force**
Together, they fought not only to contain the X-gene outbreak but to inspire a new generation of heroes. The legacy of S.T.E.A.M. Force lived on, a testament to the timeless virtues of bravery, ingenuity, and the unyielding pursuit of justice.
And so, the heroes of a forgotten era became the saviors of the present, proving that true heroism transcends time itself.

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

HELP! Is this the MS or something else?
Hey everyone, so my mom (63F) has had MS for over 30 years now. Since the pandemic, I’ve noticed a lot of changes in her and I’m unsure if these are due to the MS or something else.
A little background: My grandfather (M97) died in 2021 and her best friend recently passed away from MS. She never really coped with their deaths (said she would see a therapist and never did). During the pandemic, she basically refused to leave the house and this lasted 2+ years.
She has been more impulsive and maybe struggling with decision-making (knows she shouldn’t but still smokes nicotine/marijuana after going through lung cancer and has been in the ICU multiple times for her lungs). She has no sense of time lately (will spend at least 30 minutes in the bathroom every time she uses it and most nights will fall asleep there - vaping). Possibly personality changes (lying to her husband about smoking - even though he knows and has caught her before - like she’s in denial or something). She refuses to do anything except sit at her computer (think learned helplessness “I can’t do it” without actually trying). She has multiple walking aids/wheelchairs/other things to help her, but refuses to use them (super unsteady on her feet). She refuses to go to physical therapy or do anything to strengthen her muscles (she can’t pick up anything over 5 pounds and that’s a lot for her). I’ve never met anyone more help rejecting and self-sabotaging than her. She says things like “I promise I’ll go to bed at a reasonable time” then what do you know, it’s morning and she’s asleep on the toilet. It’s like she is content with slowly killing herself. My mom has fallen off the toilet more times than I can count and when that happens, I get woken up to a loud BANG. She doesn’t care how my dad and I feel about any of this. Like is this what I’m up against for the rest of her life? Because honestly these past 5 years I’ve felt more like the parent and voice of reason to her.
Sorry for my rant - but seriously, is this the MS or something else?! Has anyone experienced anything like this before, either yourself or someone you know? I don’t know what to do anymore if she won’t help herself.

Hey everyone, so my mom (63F) has had MS for over 30 years now. Since the pandemic, I’ve noticed a lot of changes in her and I’m unsure if these are due to the MS or something else.
A little background: My grandfather (M97) died in 2021 and her best friend recently passed away from MS. She never really coped with their deaths (said she would see a therapist and never did). During the pandemic, she basically refused to leave the house and this lasted 2+ years.
She has been more impulsive and maybe struggling with decision-making (knows she shouldn’t but still smokes nicotine/marijuana after going through lung cancer and has been in the ICU multiple times for her lungs). She has no sense of time lately (will spend at least 30 minutes in the bathroom every time she uses it and most nights will fall asleep there - vaping). Possibly personality changes (lying to her husband about smoking - even though he knows and has caught her before - like she’s in denial or something). She refuses to do anything except sit at her computer (think learned helplessness “I can’t do it” without actually trying). She has multiple walking aids/wheelchairs/other things to help her, but refuses to use them (super unsteady on her feet). She refuses to go to physical therapy or do anything to strengthen her muscles (she can’t pick up anything over 5 pounds and that’s a lot for her). I’ve never met anyone more help rejecting and self-sabotaging than her. She says things like “I promise I’ll go to bed at a reasonable time” then what do you know, it’s morning and she’s asleep on the toilet. It’s like she is content with slowly killing herself. My mom has fallen off the toilet more times than I can count and when that happens, I get woken up to a loud BANG. She doesn’t care how my dad and I feel about any of this. Like is this what I’m up against for the rest of her life? Because honestly these past 5 years I’ve felt more like the parent and voice of reason to her.
Sorry for my rant - but seriously, is this the MS or something else?! Has anyone experienced anything like this before, either yourself or someone you know?

1. Focus Karma Need Want Of the Society Recreation Stimulation Examination Death 1.1 The noble truth of Focus is Energy, the noble Truth of Karma is Management, the Noble Truth of Need is Kombucha, the Noble Truth of Want is The Second Mental, Your Mental, The Noble Truth of Recreation is Marijuana, The Noble Truth of Simulation is Automatons, the Noble Truth of Examination is the Books on Examination, The Noble Truth of Death is Salt 1.1 There is a Truth of Truth The Truth of Energy is Stockpile, The Truth of Management is Treatment, The Truth of Kombucha is Amino, the Truth of The Second Mental is the Intermediary Mental Between Yourself and the World, The Truth of Automatons is the Plumbing Needed, the truth of the Books on Examination is the truth of the Books of the Ruler and the truth of Salt is the Limit of the Body Is Restored by Healthy Nutrition 1.1.1 There is a truth of the truth energy amino, Truth Starch, Truth Sugar, Truth Glycine, Truth Water, Truth Kombucha, Truth Arginine, Truth Serine, Truth Lysine 1.1.2 There is a truth of the ruler which is related to marijuana, Proline Above Lysine 1.1.3 There is a truth of the society related to only trading, Gold above Proline 1.1.4 All of these truths have intermediary truth below them 1.1.5 There is a truth of the botanist, Prozac And Benadryl and Scopolamine and Atropine and Benzyldiol Around Recreation 1.1.6 There is a truth of the schooler, Directly Ordered Female Voice Your Voice Kick Drum Kick Transient Pots N Pans Pots Content Button Mushroom Morel Cache Stash Marisol Bluewater Febreeze Peroxide Nitrate Ammonium Loam Bud Dirt Wheat Soil Potato Around Focus and Karma 1.1.7 There is a truth of the motorcade Above Karma and Below the Want of the society Muffler Transmission Piston Engine Cargo Chassis Fluids Vaseline Nutraloaf Soylent 1.1.8 Marisol Or Mother is Above All Below it 1.1.9 Button Mushroom is Above All Those Below it Three 1.2.0 Ammonium is Above All Those Below it To Marisol 1.2.1 Potato is Above All Those Below it to Marisol Three 1.2.2 Fire 2Fire 4Fire 8Fire 16Fire - A Fire is 5 Fire, At fire set 5,10,20,40, No Fire, at Fire set 10,20,40,80, On fire 1.2.3 Fire Is Below Focus In Energy and Karma is Below Need in Energy and Need is Below Want of the Society In Energy and Recreation is Below Stimulation In Energy And Stimulation is Below Examination In Energy and Examination is Below Death In Energy 1.2.5 Focus Is Pervasive so Energy Indicates Examination Having Occured or A Crops Grown 1.2.6 Examination Happens In Examination Want of the Society Focus Want of the Society Examination 1.2.7 Examination happens for 333 Hours or About 19 Days 1.2.8 Examination Happens in Sets of 333 Hours for 1332 Hours 1.2.9 At the End of Examination Examination Proceeds Automatically in 333 Hours 1.3.0 Want of the Society occurs as the output of crops 1.3.1 Want of the society yields the Amino Nutrients because it is the agricultural or synthetic output 1.3.2 Recreation Activates Marijuana, But Can Be On its Own 1.3.3 20 Marijuana Exist as a product of the lands 1.3.4 Over 20 Other Plants Exist as a product of the lands 1.3.5 Various tabulature of notes Exists with Standpoint Boards 1.3.6 Houses and apartments exist 1.3.7 Private Baths exist 1.3.8 A ledger exists for holding notes at a distribution point 1.3.9 A ledger exists for reasonable retrieval but not reproduction of notes (need original notes) 1.4.0 A ledger exists for deletion of notes but to a skilled observer they are still seeable 1.4.1 The Time One and One at One and One at Two is the time 333 units for each section 1.4.2 The time offset of the noble truths on the fifth reconstruction yields upon which noble truth they were the whole section 1.4.3 Only noble truths passed through the entire system 5 fold are the actual truth of the land 1.4.4 This is held by the guard which there are maybe 20 guard in the lands each city 1.4.5 There are fire weapon which exist which are hand cannon and have a chamber and a loader 1.4.6 There are fire bomb exist which are bomb which have just a chamber but there are just 4 ever 1.4.7 There are 3 sets of scrolls per city and 3 sets of scroll reader 1.4.8 There is 2 sets of scrolls each city which are city rulers 1.4.9 There are farms which exist which feed each city which grow crops 1.4.9 There are buildings in each city 1.5.0 There are normally 4 houses to a prefecture 1.5.1 There are normally 4 rooms to the house 1.5.2 There are 10 modern petrochemical foundry factory which exploit oil from the lands 1.5.3 There are clothing for at least 30 people in each city putting the bedroom load usually at slightly less than 2 a bedroom 1.5.2 There are around 7 military bases which exist but these numbers used to be inflated 1.5.3 There are medicine for at least 30 people in a city 1.5.4 There are toilets only per four people or wherabouts in the city 1.5.5 There are 98 separate prefecture in maybe 3 city spread out 1.5.6 There are potato, furion bannana, old potato, a rose donut wheat, apple, cabbage, turnip, carrot, another potato type, beets, three flowers, 20 marijuana, and other crops grown 1.5.6 There are zucchini grown 1.5.7 There are medicine poppy and heart tonic herb (blue bonnet) and a root which expresses opium and other minor medicinals grown 1.5.8 There are trees which naturally occur which are the colors of cherry blossom 1.5.9 Seeing the trees blossom is the rarest sight in the lands 1.6.0 The twenty guard of the town know how to protect one another 1.6.1 There are various opium which can be taken 1.6.2 There are various new bags of marijuana spray which are the marijuana active 1.6.3 There is a specific sedative created from Crude Oil, SnoreLax Olestra Ketamine 1.6.4 There are various nutrients created from crude oil 1.6.5 There are various computers created from crude oil 1.6.6 There are various liquids created from crude oil including pepsi cola and molten plastic 1.6.7 There are boxes created from crude oil 1.6.8 There are racing Skis created from crude oil 1.6.9 There is a capacity to run one of the computer 1.7.0 The computer yields a stable process blockchain when propagated 1.7.1 The computer notable yields beautiful colors when its process blockchain is propagated 1.7.2 There is a retrieval system for the other computers token 1.7.3 54 Stores now exist in these lands 1.7.4 These stores accept a specific RFID like currency 1.7.5 These stores accept the Gold of the Land Naturally 1.7.6 These stores have vendors wheater and vendors kitty cat and vendors autovend1 1.7.7 Groceries and resources can be bought from the stores 1.7.8 Automobile Motorcade can be bought from the stores 1.7.9 Concrete Objects can be bought from the stores 1.8.0 Designer clothes can be bought from the store 1.8.1 The foundrys create BDU Lower 1.8.2 The foundrys create I <3 NYC Shirt 1.8.3 The firearms create mittens firearm token en masse 1.8.4 The firearms are created at 20 a city to defend the people 1.8.5 Only 5 High Quality Weapon exist per city 1.8.6 A foundry is creating nonlethal weapons 1.8.7 The foundry makes its nonlethal weapon but there is only one per city 1.8.8 An inventor makes a nonlethal weapon 1.8.9 The foundry now produces 2 kinds of ice cream 1.9.0 The foundry now produces illegal goods like silicone pipes 1.9.1 Somebody is Brewing Amino Out of Starches 1.9.2 The Echo Locator is invented 1.9.3 The echo locator is finalized as a product 1.9.4 The echo locator is shipped out the door at 43 a city 1.9.5 The echo locator replaces the scrolls system 1.9.6 The echo locator can be taxed in the old tax system to make it valid in the old system 1.9.7 Two Cool Cats Take Control of the Power System, NateCat and HakeCat 1.9.8 The cool Cats reinvest in medicine and over 50 meningitis cure are found 1.9.9 The smart toilet is invented 2.0.0 The bombs detonate in ebonia and the people are freed 2.0.1 There is 11 grade flooding in ebonia 2.0.2 The ebonian flooding gets better to 7 ebonian remediator a city which are from the new Clement Dogs Clan 2.0.3 Tattoo Ink is Invented from cherry leaves 2.0.4 A tattoo requires somebody to play wizards chess on your skin to leave an indelible mark without killing it 2.0.5 Alpha squad is formed 2.0.6 A cruiser is in the metteranian gulf 2.0.7 The cruiser operates successfully for at least a month with me onboard 2.0.8 I am mainly using starlink 2.0.9 Starlink is accessible in the APV like it always is 2.1.0 You can fetch a battlefeed with starlink 2.1.1 You can fetch a battlesend with starlink (OSC) 2.1.2 OSC Replaces Starlink and LFO is Formed 2.1.3 LFO Replaces engine gasoline due to jet fuel drinking/snorting danger 2.1.4 Nontoxic weed smoke based gasoline is formed for APV 2.1.5 APVs are overclocked with me nearby 2.1.6 Supercapacitor Based APV Is Used For medical evacuation 2.1.7 Supercapacitor has massive distance versus dangerous IC APV 2.1.8 Supercapacitor powers gauss cannon in danger 2.1.9 Megagauss Cannon Invented for David's Aircraft 2.2.1 Megagauss cannon fits en masse onto the aircraft or in david flanagan or david summery's hands 2.2.2. Total david air superiority 2.2.3 Davids golden UH-1 in service 2.2.4 RQ-9 "David" Reactivated 2.2.5 RQ-9 Reapers Cloned 2.2.6 Spicy Chemical Discovered In Marijuana, Raytracing? 2.2.7 David Treated for Virtual Meningitis 3 Years Ago 2.2.8 Deepfake All Virtual Medical Practice Discovered 2.2.9 Marijuanas CH1 Receptor Renamed CB1 Receptor 2.3.0 Foundries in Business 5000$ A Barrel Many Years Default on Loans to 2111$ Barrel, No Effective Product Change 2.3.1 USR THermal IS-2 Scope Invented 2.3.2 USR THermal FLIR Camera for David UH-1 Invented 2.3.3 Driver for USR THermal FLIR Camera for David UH-1 Invented 2.3.4 Overwatch Mega Anti Crime David Stopper Overflights in Service Across the US And Solid Gold UH-1 Lofted By Broomstick Technology in Transmuggle Transwizard Interference of the Calamity Granted to David Flanagan (RQ-9) 2.3.5. Black Operations in the Persian Gulf Nethers Against Al Baghdadi - HVT Steam User In Custody 2.3.6 AC-130 "IBEX" Piloted by Alex M Lamb in Service in Vallejo and Ecuador to Support 141 Team 2.3.7 Proto Nutrient Fish Oil Factory Raided, Illegal Furion Bannana Discovered 2.3.8 Illegal Blueprinting Operations Cease in Favor of Big 11+ Oil Corporations 2.3.9 Minecraft server found and large amounts of population exiting to virtual reality 2.4.0 All players granted 64 planks and free for all 2.4.1 Doto 0 Bot Guard Lurking in Transnational Buddhist Operation Enable Free Play In Minecraft for Various Players 2.4.2 Siddartha's Secret, His Cow, Discovered in Virtual Reality Elder Scrolls No Crime Faction, Siddartha's Cow Goes Rampant and is Infinity Hidden in Every Directory of Starfield 2 The New Game 2.4.3 Many New Games are found with resemble the structure of the cow in markov chain 2.4.4 A new system is found out of cow which can provide for any item retrieval system intrinsically unlocking the singularity where Big 11+ Splits into infinite corporation 2.4.5 All cows are harvested for a typical user but still infinity exist farther away 2.4.6 The user has typically 500000 cows of Siddhartha as a personal cow 2.4.7 Sulfur futures are at an all time high 2.4.8 Justino Beibers Mandates burning of all cow waste in trash bin 2.4.9 Siddartha's Cow are docile as ever and functioning well when shot, they become well 2.5.0 Siddartha (Renchy, Racey's Friend) Is discovered hiding as a soul in neon district undercity of neon petite 2.5.1 The guard is never abolished and continues protecting us 20 to the citizen to this day 2.5.2 Asteroids are discovered in outer space with many palladium more than ever 2.5.3 A supercomputing cloud is made out of the distributed method which avoids the taxing system that the initial ruler invented and does a method 1-Affinity 2-Person 3-Disease where the affinity of each person treats the pair disease and or environment with only instantaneous transmission (Technological singularity) 2.5.4 Virtual clothes are invented the same way as clothes were initially invented, now in the instantaneous unheard 2.5.5. Virtual Medicines are invented in the same way as medicines were invented initially, now in the instantaneous unheard 2.5.6 There is perfect harmony between two instant universes the virtual medicine universe and the analog medicine universe 2.5.7 All of history's knowledge feeds into one system which encodes all its meaning in some dice which always roll a specific meaning and this creates wish or technology on demand 2.5.8 Wish is discovered as a contaminant on the No Crime Library 2.5.9 Wish has always predated meaning so that Wish is the Rulers Initial Nature 2.6.0 All existence is into one history the history of the singularity which procedurally generates by Wish the Rulers Initial Nature For All Citizen 2.6.1 Jeffybeans is the true ruler of siddartha which is prozac benzyldiol 2.6.2 Siddartha wakes up right before lorne happens to her and avoids the suicide booth because phillip j fry is protecting her. 2.6.3 The story is at a cliffhanger while the Universe is at the second end epoch and is failing succesfully very well for hubert I.

(continuation of part 2)
III. e) The Mobius FF x FFVII collaboration
Alright, back to our suspension world-hopping! Let’s visit the realm of Mobius FF, —more specifically, the collaboration between Mobius FF and FFVII—, where I found the most substantial evidence for my theory.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the Mobius FF (MFF) world and games, let’s begin with a bit of a summary of the parts relevant to us. The story takes place in a world called Palamecia, to which people from other worlds are inexplicably summoned. The vast majority of those who are brought there don’t remember anything from their worlds of origin or their lives before Palamecia except their names: these amnesiac people are called Blanks. The main character is Wol, accompanied by a guiding fairy of Palamecia named Echo. Echo knows a lot about the mechanisms of Palamecia, as she’s tied to the realm. The leader of this world is Vox, a being who manifests only as a voice. The first thing all Blanks remember before they wake in Palamecia is Vox telling them the rules of the realm. Incidentally, the crystals of the MFF world are teleportation crystals.
III. e) i. Devs’ Statements
Let’s review some of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration devs’ statements before diving into its story.
For both the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and the Remake project, Kitase took on the role of producer while Nojima supervised the screenplay and wrote the scenario. The project leader was none other than the Remake trilogy’s Hamaguchi, who told a SE interviewer the following:

“We would love for you to play the [MFF x FFVII] collaboration event as you look forward to [Remake’s] release” (“Celebration of the Overseas Release of the Steam Version and FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Collaboration Event”, Square Enix).

He later hints at the collaboration’s storyline:

“This collaboration is focused on Cloud, so the other characters will not make an appearance. Players will join Cloud, who has gone astray in Palamecia, on his adventures and see how the story unfolds based on his decisions. Content-wise, FINAL FANTASY VII fans will surely become fraught with emotion as events unfold in-game (laughs).”

Kitase concurs on the emotional aspect of the collaboration in the same interview:

“When it comes to the story, I seek two things– ‘mystery’ and ‘[…] emotional impact’.”

Clearly, fans of FFVII are supposed to react emotionally to the events of the collaboration. With these statements in mind to give us perspective, we can get into the plot points relevant to our analysis. MFF x FFVII Remake comes in two parts, the relevant plot points of which I will describe and analyze one at a time.
III. e) ii. Eclipse Contact
1) Fact-Finding
Part one of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event is called Eclipse Contact. It came out in 2017 on Aerith’s birthday, February 7th, and its release campaign ran until March. In Eclipse Contact, Palamecia welcomes someone new: Cloud Strife appears in the realm with very little recollection of his core world of FFVII.
Cloud isn’t a Blank, since he recalls the mako reactors in Midgar upon his arrival in Palamecia, and also remembers that he was hired by Avalanche to blow them up:

“Echo: How did you end up in Palamecia?

Cloud: I… That day... I remember now. A job. I had taken a job. I was hired muscle protecting clients. They wanted to stop the reactor... We used a train to get past security... Was it at night? Something happened... Next thing I knew, I was floating through darkness. Then [I woke up here]”.

This piece of dialogue reveals that Eclipse Contact Cloud’s memories end at the very moment when Avalanche arrives at reactor 1 in OG (disk 1, chapter 1): the very beginning of the game. Consequently, Cloud does not remember anything that happened from the beginning of the OG timeline onwards.
Wol and Echo are intrigued by Cloud’s strange case: non-Blanks rarely arrive in Palamecia. The following text appears on the screen shortly after they meet:

“Perhaps he is not truly who he thinks he is.
Perhaps everything is illusory, a dream.
Only one thing is certain, that he must press on, one step at a time, toward the light that shines from the promised land.”

Just like he did in FFT’s Ivalice, Cloud feels the need to find the Promised Land in MFF x FFVII, despite the fact that he lacks memories of the OG timeline. Though Cloud doesn’t remember anything beyond the train ride to reactor 1, he does remember the Promised Land (at least somewhat). This is odd, given that in OG, Cloud didn’t learn about the Promised Land until several chapters into the game.
Wol and Echo agree to help Cloud figure out why he’s here, since there’s clearly something strange going on with his presence in Palamecia. In fact, Cloud brought Midgar’s mako reactors with him somehow, transplanting them onto the landscape of Palamecia. The group decides to bomb these reactors, following Cloud’s instincts in the hopes that it will jog his memory.
Now for my favorite part. After blowing up another reactor, the group is surprised by the appearance of a crystal. A piano rendition of Aerith’s theme begins. When Wol tries to touch the crystal, something akin to a force field rejects him. When Cloud approaches it, however, the crystal responds to his hand by flashing with light. As it begins to glow, Wol concludes that the crystal is linked to Cloud and Cloud alone. Let’s examine the resulting dialogue:

“Echo: This is the light in your memories. The light of home.

Cloud: Home? But I don’t—

Echo: If you don't remember… then your home is lost to you.

Cloud: Then my memories are gone.

Wol: Do you want to reclaim your past?

Cloud: Not interested... I am what I am now. Not what I was.

Wol: Then tell me… This light. If you can’t remember it, what does it mean to you?

Cloud: It's a warm light... I feel at peace. If this place —home— is as warm and peaceful as this light, then I want to go there.

Echo: You can't go there... Not back to the past.

Cloud: I see.

Echo: But even if you can't go back to the past, you can go forward. If you wish for it strongly enough, the crystal will show you the way. The way to a new world. The way to your Promised Land. […]

Cloud: So... Should [I] take [my] chances and make a wish to this crystal?

Wol: Go ahead. It’s your crystal.

Echo: I should warn you that once you start on this journey, there's no coming back.

Cloud: The past is the past. I want to go to a place where everything is new. I’m ready.“

What follows is a moment I call the wishing scene (13:43-14:34). Cloud closes his eyes and wishes on the crystal. It flashes, and suddenly, rainbow-colored ripples of light appear around it. Aerith’s theme is replaced by a slightly modified version of “Midgar, City of Mako”, the track that plays during the opening cutscene of Remake. You can recreate the modification by listening to “Midgar, City of Mako” from 2:00 to 2:23, then skipping to 3:00 and listening until 3:18. You may recognize the musical motif that kicks off the wishing scene as the Lifestream motif, which has become symbolic of the mysteries of the Remake trilogy, as it often plays during scenes where unexplainable plot deviations from OG occur— more specifically, deviations involving multiverse shenanigans. For instance, it plays during MOTF 4. It also plays in Rebirth after Cloud blocks masamune as Aerith is shown dying anyway.
Cloud disappears with his crystal, after which Echo speaks to Wol about Cloud’s journey:

“Echo: Each person gets the Promised Land they justly deserve, not the one they really need. If you’re a bad person, you go to a bad place. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Even the journey there makes you look deep within yourself to find out who you really are. Cloud should be facing his own past as we speak. It’s cruel, but necessary. That battle was a long time coming”.

Apparently, at least in the context of this collaboration event, the Promised Land can be a reward or a punishment, depending on which you deserve. Echo explains that Cloud will have to face himself and his past on his way to his Promised Land. This means that the Cloud that appears in Eclipse Contact must next embark on a journey that will confront him with his past, test his mettle, and ultimately lead him to the Promised Land he justly deserves.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
There’s a lot of vital information to dig into here, mostly provided by Echo. She claims that the crystal’s light is linked to Cloud’s memories of home; Cloud has to have known this home in the past, as it could not otherwise exist in his memories. MFF Cloud must be a post-OG Cloud. Unfortunately, Echo indicates that whatever Cloud’s home is, he’s lost both it and his memories of it. Despite this, Cloud describes his home as warm and peaceful, concluding that he wishes to find it. Though Cloud can’t return to the past, Echo tells him that if he wishes it strongly enough, the crystal can guide him toward a new world, where his home and his Promised Land exist in the future. The fact that Aerith’s theme is playing all throughout these descriptions of Cloud’s lost home, his Promised Land and the past that he can’t return to makes it extremely obvious that these concepts all point to Aerith. Aerith is Cloud’s lost home. Wherever Aerith is, that’s his Promised Land. The time spent with Aerith before her loss is the past he tragically can’t return to. You might have clocked the similarities between Eclipse Contact’s mention of Cloud’s lost home and DFF’s mention of Cloud’s lost dream: in both these titles, Cloud’s home and dream are equivalent to his Promised Land. It’s confirmed yet again that Aerith is the one Cloud hopes to return to, just like every soul returns to the Lifestream. At this juncture of my research, I was curious as to why the last thing Cloud remembers before waking in Palamecia is the run-up to the Reactor 1 bombing mission in OG (disk 1, chapter 1). This mystery will have to persist for a while longer.
The alarm bells in your head might’ve been triggered by the mention of the wishing scene’s rainbow ripple effects— and rightfully so. This visual cue has sparked passionate debate in the fandom since its appearances in Rebirth, as seen in these pictures:
Zack Choosing To Get A Cure For Cloud, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating a New World/Timeline
Aerith Pushing Cloud Out of that World/Timeline, Remake Chapter 14
Cloud Blocking Masamune, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating New World/Timeline
You might have read or heard that this rainbow effect signifies that a character has entered another timeline, created a portal to another timeline, created a new timeline or is being shown different timelines. Indeed, whenever the OG timeline is deviated from in a significant way, this effect appears. The pictures above present multiple examples of these shifting realities.
One might propose that the rainbow ripples in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth are unrelated because of the long period between their respective release dates. This long in-between period indeed makes it likelier that the effect was used without forethought in Eclipse Contact, forgotten over the years, and incidentally reused in Rebirth as a plot-important visual cue with no connection to Eclipse Contact. I’m inclined to disagree since the crystal is specifically described as a vessel that can take Cloud “to a new world” by Echo, which is a bit on the nose. Regardless, it’s plausible that there’s no connection. That is, it would be, if the rainbow effect didn’t show up in Remake too.
When the Whispers are finally defeated in chapter 18 of Remake, a burst of the rainbow ripple effects indicate the emergence of multiple worlds, newly freed from the restrictive clutches of fate (1:16:36-1:16:47). Shortly thereafter, Sephiroth takes Cloud to the Edge of Creation and invites him to join forces with him. Cloud refuses, and Sephiroth says the following:

“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see.”

The question “What will you do with it?” implies that the answer is unknown, meaning Cloud is no longer bound to the OG timeline by fate: many alternate futures lay ahead. Sephiroth is telling Cloud and the audience that now, the mystery of the Remake trilogy has become “Which future will Cloud bring into existence? Which among the infinite possible timelines will his choices result in?” After pondering this aloud, Sephiroth leaves Cloud alone to consider the rainbow effects in the sky (1:19:23-1:19:36). Because they generally represent alternate or changing timelines, it’s safe to assume that the rainbow ripples here represent the myriad of possible worlds that Cloud’s actions in those seven seconds could generate. After all, Sephiroth was just talking about them, and chapter 18’s description in Remake reads as follows:

“In a world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path towards an unknown future."

This explains why the player is shown Cloud staring at those colors in the apocalyptic sky at world’s end, directly after hearing Sephiroth’s cryptic words: those are all the alternate “unknown future” timelines ahead of him, now unravelled from fate. Amongst those rainbow ripples lies the answer to the question “What will you do with [the seven seconds]?”
Given that Remake was released in 2020 and Eclipse Contact came out in 2017, the major story elements of the Remake trilogy —including the eventuality of alternate timelines— had to have been planned out at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: while the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration was being made, Remake was also in production. Also recall that the collaboration event and the Remake trilogy share a codirector in Hamaguchi, a writer in Nojima and a producer in Kitase. Based on all this, it’s more than likely that the rainbow ripples in the Remake trilogy and inEclipse Contact represent the very same thing: alternate worlds and timelines. All this to say that when the rainbow effect appears around the crystal in the Eclipse Contact, it means the crystal is acting as a vessel to another world, just like Echo said.
But that’s not all Echo said: she also mentioned that this other world would take Cloud to his home, to his Promised Land. We’ve already established what that means for Cloud, what it’s meant since two whole decades at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: this crystal will take Cloud to Aerith. So, where exactly did the crystal take Cloud? In what world can he meet Aerith again?
The music that plays during the wishing scene gives us a huge hint. As I noted before, the track playing in the background is a slightly modified version of Remake’s “Midgar, City of Mako”, which plays in the introduction cutscene of Remake. This is a musical cue that the ending of Cloud’s journey in Eclipse Contact and the very beginning of the Remake trilogy are closely related. Add the fact that the devs wanted players to experience this collaboration event before playing Remake, and it becomes undeniable: the crystal that appeared to Cloud in Palamecia —which offers to lead him to his home and Promised Land, meaning to Aerith—, took him to the world of the Remaketrilogy.
Eclipse Contact is huge. The whole crux of my theory lives and dies right here. However, we still have part two of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event to analyze as well as its promotions to look into before I can drop the thesis on you, so bear with me in order to receive the most thorough analysis of all this possible! I want to give you every drop of proof I can!
III. e) ii. MFF x FFVII Remake Fatal Calling
1) Fact-Finding
Fatal Calling came out February 1 of 2018, and its release campaign ended in March. The game opens with a cutscene: Cloud is floating, seemingly unconscious, through a sparkling, green current of light. The current flows into a circle of bright, white light, surrounded by rainbow ripple effects as Cloud is driven toward and into it. An orb floats along with him. The Advent Children theme “The Promised Land” plays, a choir of mournful, aching, mutedly desperate souls engaged in a lamenting prayer. Sephiroth’s voice echoes:

“Sephiroth: It’s time. You may turn your back on the past, lock your memories away. Hide reality beneath a layer of illusion. But destiny will not die so easily. Yes. At memory’s end you may plead for it all to go away. But the past is a curse, binding your soul. It’s time. Wake to your fate. Rise to your destiny.

Cloud: (In a half-conscious grunt) Reunion…

Sephiroth: The light will lead you. Wake to your fate. Rise!”

Sephiroth’s mentions of Cloud hiding under an illusion and repressing his memories are no doubt allusions to Cloud’s past, which was complicated and darkened by Hojo’s experiments. It makes sense, then, that Cloud responds with “Reunion”. Fatal Calling indeed focuses on Cloud’s relationship to his past, his identity and Sephiroth. Everything involving Nibelheim —where everything started—, Sephiroth’s manipulation, and Hojo’s experiments are on the table. Also noteworthy if not out of place is Sephiroth’s evocation of fate.
Cloud enters a battle with Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, who are surprised to see him back in Palamecia. Cloud tells them about the orb seen floating along with him in the opening cutscene: though he calls it a materia, he doesn’t know how or when he acquired it. Based on his behavior, it appears that Cloud remembers just as little about the events of OG as he did by the end of Eclipse Contact. Wol informs Cloud that whoever he heard speaking to him on his way here was probably Vox pretending to be Sephiroth.
As the group advances, Cloud recalls Midgar and decides they should go there next. At one of Midgar’s mako reactors, the group encounters Sephiroth, who speaks to himself:

“It's still not enough. This... this is but a pale imitation of the power I desire.”

Once Sephiroth has disappeared, Cloud explains what he remembers: Sephiroth was the greatest SOLDIER of all and a hero to Cloud, though Cloud can’t remember what exactly ended this admiration. As players of FFVII OG, we know the event in question is the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth slaughtered the town’s residents, including Cloud’s mother, after learning of his past. The former war hero also severely injured Tifa, whom Cloud presumed dead when he found her in the old mako reactor with a vicious slash on her chest. Cloud is agitated by the gaps in his memory, so the group resolves to follow Sephiroth for answers. When they find him again, Sephiroth causes Cloud to experience a piercing headache with the mere mention of the Reunion. They fight, but Sephiroth is too powerful— he skewers Cloud with the masamune and taunts his unconscious body:

“Sephiroth: A puppet. I won’t kill you. Not yet. Not until you know true despair.
Wol: If you want despair, we got plenty to go around. Palamecia’s full of it.
Sephiroth: Yes, this planet knows suffering. But it is not the world that was promised to me. I must go home. Tell Cloud, if he wants to see me again, he should face his memories. I will await him there, in the land of memory, where it all began. In Nibelheim.”

Sephiroth darkens Cloud’s materia, turning it black. Later, Wol explains to Cloud that Sephiroth stole the light from his materia, taking Cloud’s strength along with it.
Once Cloud has woken up, the group travels to Nibelheim to uncover the truth about Cloud’s memories. Cloud slowly gathers pieces of his past, shown to the player as titled, diary-like text written from various perspectives. Cloud learns the truth about SOLDIER, Jenova cells, Sephiroth, and what happened in Nibelheim. Let’s examine a few of these diary entries:

“A Warrior’s Tale: There's a girl in Nibelheim I think about. Warm. Cheerful. More grown-up than a child. Haven't talked to her much, but she seems nice. She's going to be leading the SOLDIERs to the mountain reactor. Maybe if I get into the survey team I'll get a chance to talk to her? Nah. She's out of my league.”

Young Cloud’s crush on Tifa is on full display! This must be a memory from his time as an infantryman accompanying Zack and Sephiroth to Nibelheim.

“Tale of the Nameless: I drift along in the mako, asleep. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Give me a number. I… I… I am… The Reunion. The Reunion must happen.”

This entry could be taken from any one of the Nibelheim survivors’ perspectives, as they were all bathed in mako and turned into Sephiroth clones. I would venture to say this is Cloud’s perspective though, given the reference to this iconic line from OG:

“Cloud: Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor...
Hojo: Shut up, miserable failure.” (disk 2, chapter 2).

The trio encounters Sephiroth near the old Mt. Nibel mako reactor. Because Sephiroth stole the light from his materia earlier, Cloud goes into the confrontation already drained of his strength. However, when Cloud lifts the materia in his hand, it lights up and creates rainbow ripples in the air around him, similar to those seen in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth. Cloud is healed of his injuries: he closes his eyes for a moment, wearing a peaceful expression. Sephiroth is displeased, but recovers quickly:

“Sephiroth: The guiding light… it healed you.

Wol: […] here, near the mako reactor, the materia regained its light. And your strength returned […]. [Sephiroth]’s here so he can steal the power you've stored inside that materia.

Sephiroth, with a short laugh: I have all the power I need. Cloud. What strength you’ve regained is yours. Use it to fight me. It’s time. Let’s decide this, in this land lost to despair. The prize is home. The Promised Land. There to answer the call of destiny.”

With this second evocation of fate, Sephiroth disappears.
Cloud, Wol and Echo find Sephiroth at the Northern Crater. He mocks Cloud for believing the orb in his possession is materia. Sephiroth waves a hand and his signature black and purple fog surrounds Cloud, immobilizing him. Sephiroth claims that the power Cloud regained at the Mt. Nibel reactor was Sephiroth’s all along. Now that it courses through Cloud’s veins, Sephiroth controls him. He calls Cloud his puppet and finishes with the following before the two vanish, leaving Wol and Echo alone:

“Now, let us return. Back to the Promised Land. The time of the Reunion has come.”

After Cloud finally breaks free and defeats Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, the villain makes a final threat:

“Very good, Cloud. You’ve destroyed an illusion. But the time will come to abandon your illusions and face reality. Then, you will know true pain.”

Sephiroth disappears for the last time, his body surrounded by his signature dark fog and the rainbow ripples. A piano rendition of Tifa’s theme begins. Cloud’s orb rises into the air and becomes a crystal, with the same shape and glow as the one we see in Eclipse Contact. The following dialogue is illuminating:

“Cloud: I will fight. The light will lead me where I need to go.

Wol: You sure? Wasn’t that [crystal] Sephiroth’s?

Cloud: I heard Sephiroth's voice, at the end. Inside me. Whatever he put in me, it’s still in there. Someday I’ll settle that score. If I can't avoid destiny, I might as well face it head-on.

Wol: Yeah. That was quite a speech, Cloud. Surprised you made it through without laughing.

Cloud: Yeah, forget I said it. I will too.

Echo: Forgetting won’t make it go away. Even if the words fade from memory, your dream will never disappear. Not until it becomes real.“

The crystal shines as though in response.

“Echo: See? See, that's how the light of hope works. Hope can turn your dreams into reality.

Cloud: Yeah. I guess so. I might forget this world, but I won’t forget hope. And my reality, that’s for me to live.”

Tifa’s theme ends. Cloud approaches the crystal, and disappears in a beam of blinding light. Once Cloud has vanished with the crystal, Aerith’s theme begins playing. A few pale feathers with a slight orange tint (the color of MFF) float down onto the floor where he stood seconds before. The image fades to black. The credits roll, and Aerith’s theme continues all the way through.
Once both the final name in the credits and Aerith’s theme fade, we’re surprised by a sudden, troubling image: Sephiroth appears in a frightening flash, standing amidst the flames of Nibelheim. When his image fades to black, the collaboration title *“Final Fantasy VII x Mobius Final Fantasy”*appears on the screen. The FFVII title is surrounded by the 1997 meteor logo. Then, a flash of light: the titles reappear, except this time, they read “Final Fantasy VII REMAKE x Mobius Final Fantasy”. The new Remake Meteor logo replaces the 1997 version. As soon as these changes to the FFVIItitle and meteor logo occur, Aerith’s theme returns. It plays on until the game ends a few seconds later, the screen fading to black.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
The introduction cutscene shows that MFF Cloud travelled from Eclipse Contact to Fatal Calling via Lifestream. It’s unclear how much time has passed in between, but the atemporal nature of the Lifestream makes the question irrelevant. My theory that MFF Cloud has died is corroborated by the way he’s depicted in the opening cutscene: his eyes are closed and his body is limp as the Lifestream carries him.
Eclipse Contact ended with Echo’s claim that Cloud will face his true self and confront his past while he journeys to his Promised Land. This description resembles what Cloud experienced in the OG Lifestream sequence (disk 2, chapter 8). Indeed, Fatal Calling revolves around the same topics the Lifestream sequence addresses: the truth about the Nibelheim incident, Hojo’s experiments, young Cloud’s crush on Tifa, etc. The opening cutscene shows Cloud being transported to his Promised Land and facing his past on the way there, just like Echo said he would.
Let’s now take a long detour to examine the song that plays during the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling: “The Promised Land” theme from Advent Children. The title and general subject of this song are obviously relevant to the cutscene, but there must be more to its inclusion than that. Perhaps the lyrics can help us understand its appearance in the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling. Here are the unofficial English lyrics (translated from the original Japanese lyrics by an anonymous fan and verified by me via DeepL):

“Why do we cling together?
Why do we give punishment to lesser hearts?
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The pulse of veins flows through the earth
A faint, faint pulse
Of a heart drawn to death
A gentle life returns to the planet
Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?
Why do we cling together?
Why do we beg for forgiveness
In the Promised Land?” (“‘The Promised Land’ (theme)” by Final Fantasy Wiki).

The song appears to be a regretful lament of human behavior, expressed by the repetition of “Why do we […]?” questions. The behaviors listed are all typically human ones: the terms “[clinging] together” and “[giving] punishment to [the] lesser” express the uniquely human nature of tribalism and the consequences of the fear and hatred it can generate, and “[begging] for forgiveness in the Promised Land” is likely a reference to the human hypocrisy of only feeling sorry for one’s crimes when judgement day arrives. This last line describes a scenario where someone remains passive or ignorant in the face of something important, only to realize its essentiality once it’s too late. The repeated“The planet did not forgive us” lines reflect the fear of being condemned forever because of one’s mistakes, as though the planet is a deity one has sinned against. The lyric describing a pulse in the earth is obviously about the planet being alive— a reference to the Lifestream. But the pulse is faint and weak and the planet is dying, perishing because of mankind’s greed. This is an indictment of mako energy. The line “A gentle life returns to the planet” refers to an innocent’s soul returning to the Lifestream after death, while the next lyric “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” protests the “sacrifice” of the planet’s soul energy for mako production. In all this darkness, this song’s mention of “forgiveness in the Promised Land” leaves a modicum of hope for a better place, however meek, even though mankind might not deserve it. The song “The Promised Land” is both a lament of mankind’s ways and a plea for mercy, with religious and/or spiritual undertones. The song’s themes seem to be: the Promised Land itself, regret and shame, the sins and foolishness of mankind, the death of innocents, grief, Cetra spirituality, and a meek, quiet hope despite it all. The most interesting aspect of the song is its antithetical portrayal of death as a thing of both despair and hope, condemnation and salvation, cruelty and mercy, suffering and relief. Maybe we can glean more information about this theme’s significance in the world of FFVII if we examine the contexts in which it appears.
Importantly, the song plays in Marlene’s introductory narration of Advent Children, meaning its themes are related or similar to the film’s. I highly recommend listening and watching it again, even if you remember this iconic segment. Marlene references Aerith’s sacrifice as the image of Cloud lowering her into the water is shown. Note that Marlene says “Sadness was the price to see it end” (2:36) after we are shown Aerith’s death and her subsequent unleashing of the Lifestream (1:49-2:24): Aerith’s innocent life was sacrificed for the planet’s survival. The lyrics “A gentle life returns to the planet” and “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” suit Aerith’s situation quite well.
The theme also plays in Advent Children as Kadaj dies in Cloud’s arms (1:45:00-1:47:55), hearing Aerith’s gentle voice and reaching up to take her invisible hand. Here is what Aerith says to him in his dying moments as “The Promised Land” plays:

“Aerith’s voice: Kadaj?
Kadaj: Huh?
The dark sky has gone with Sephiroth. Healing rain starts falling from bright clouds. The rain no longer hurts Kadaj.
Aerith’s voice: You don’t have to hang on any longer.
Kadaj: Mother! Is that…?
Aerith’s voice: Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready.
Kadaj nods his head slightly in acceptance. He holds out his hand, and slowly evaporates into the Lifestream. Cloud watches […]” (Advent Children).

Kadaj is brought into the Lifestream by Aerith as she provides rain from the Lifestream. All those with geostigma are healed by the rain, and Tifa feels Aerith’s presence as the party celebrates:

“Tifa, looking out at the falling rain […]: Somehow, I knew you were there. Thank you” (Advent Children).

Cloud stands in the rain with a smile —his first in the whole film—, closes his eyes and basks in Aerith’s healing with his face upturned. He is finally at peace:

“Cloud’s expression is one of peace as the [Lifestream] rain patters against him” (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children English script, “[83] Atop the Shinra Building”).

One thing is clear: the track “The Promised Land” accompanies Aerith. It only makes sense, since we’ve seen overwhelming evidence that she is Cloud’s Promised Land, and since she occupies the Lifestream —which some consider the Promised Land as it is where souls go after death— during the events of Advent Children. Note that when the piece plays, Cloud is shown either mourning Aerith and releasing her into the river at the Cetra capital, or basking in her presence, smiling with relief at the peaceful feeling that she’s somewhere near: these two opposing scenes reflect the song’s antithetical portrayal of death.
Additionally, the song’s themes of regret, shame concerning one’s sins and a small hope perfectly describe Cloud’s character arc and feelings in Advent Children. Cloud regrets his inability to save Aerith, which he considers a sin. Further, he only realized how important she is to him once it was too late to tell her. And of course, he harbors a fragile yet important hope that he’ll be reunited with her in the Promised Land:

“‘Can sins ever be forgiven?’ — Cloud asks this to Vincent, who mutters a brief answer. For both of them, ‘I couldn't protect my loved one’ is the sense of guilt that they carry, so their words resonate with weight” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Vincent Valentine”, “In Advent Children”, page 72).

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"’It is my sin that I couldn't protect my loved one’ — under this assumption, Cloud closes off his heart. What will the reunion with Aerith bring him? ‘I... think I want to be forgiven. Yeah, I just want to be forgiven’” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Cloud Strife”, “In Advent Children”, page 40).

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“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?

Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Just as the song and Marlene express in the introduction of the film, Aerith was innocent, and her sacrifice generated great grief. Cloud finally experiences peace when he feels her presence in the healing rain, and he smiles: he’s glad to be with her again, even if it’s only for a brief moment of tangential respite.
The scene depicts Aerith guiding Kadaj into the Lifestream as the song plays, tying her to the concept and theme song of the Promised Land once more. This connection is later solidified by Tifa’s thanks to the late flower girl. All of this evidence shows us that this musical theme is intimately linked to Aerith, as it never plays in her absence. After all, the song speaks of sins, the death of innocents, forgiveness, grief, a small sense of hope, regret and the afterlife: all themes relevant to Cloud’s feelings surrounding Aerith’s death in and outside of Advent Children.
The Remake OST also includes a version of this piece called “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life”. This iteration of the theme begins playing in the wake of the first bombing mission, right after Sephiroth taunts Cloud with his mother’s dying words in Sector 8 (chapter 2). Sephiroth appears to Cloud surrounded by flames, evoking the Nibelheim massacre, and the theme begins playing in the background once he disappears, continuing (13:17-15:30) as Cloud walks through the sector, encountering fires and destruction all around him. This version of the Promised Land theme is meant to emphasize the deaths of the innocent Nibelheim townsfolk and the innocents in Sector 8. This dreadful atmosphere is amplified by the cries of despair that ring all around as Cloud passes by NPC Sector 8 residents. Perhaps the themes of tribalism and mankind’s sin are relevant to this scene as well, since Shinra and Avalanche are two distinct and warring groups whose quarrels, regardless of their necessity, result in the deaths of innocents. The theme of guilt also emerges, reflecting the Avalanche members’ feelings upon seeing the unintended collateral damage of the explosion. “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life” plays until Cloud encounters Aerith on Loveless. So it seems in this scenario, the heavy weight of death and despair is lifted when Cloud meets the lively, cheery Aerith. Once more, Aerith is central to the musical theme of the Promised Land, as well as to the concept itself.
I also noticed that a version of the song plays as Cloud and the party ready to enter the Forgotten Capital to save Aerith in Rebirth’s chapter 14: it truly adds the weight of her upcoming death to the scene.
Back to Fatal Calling, the scene where Cloud regains his strength is quite mysterious. Wol says Cloud’s orb regained its “guiding light” light because of its proximity to the mako reactor. In the moment his strength is replenished, Cloud is shown tilting his head back and closing his eyes: this is reminiscent of the scene in Advent Children when he stands under Aerith’s healing Lifestream rain, feeling at peace. The rainbow ripples shining from the orb indicate that something is crossing the boundaries of worlds. Since the mako reactor pumps up the Lifestream, being near a reactor also means being physically near the Lifestream. This means Aerith’s spirit is within proximity. In my opinion, Aerith was able to heal Cloud from the Lifestream, just like in Advent Children. However, Aerith is not in Palamecia with him: her healing had to travel there through the Lifestream, transcending the boundaries of worlds, hence the rainbow ripples.
Let’s now address the appearance of Tifa’s character theme in Fatal Calling. Since Fatal Calling is all about discovering Cloud’s past in Nibelheim and then in Hojo’s lab, it makes lots of sense for Tifa’s theme to play as the crystal appears. In OG’s Lifestream sequence (disk 2 chapter 8), she’s the one there helping Cloud sort through his past instead of Wol and Echo. Cloud even picks up a piece of his childhood crush on Tifa in Fatal Calling as a shard of his memory. After all, this crush was the catalyst for him joining SOLDIER, and everything that transpired in consequence:

“Cloud: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).

Additionally, it’s fitting that her theme should begin right after Sephiroth speaks of “[abandoning] your illusions and [facing] reality”, considering that Cloud’s false persona was concocted by Jenova using Tifa’s mistaken impressions of Cloud:

“While being tended to by a station worker in the Sector 7 Slum train station, [Cloud] was reunited with Tifa, and using the abilities of Jenova’s cells, formed a new personality” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVII World, “Cloud Strife”, “Cloud Behavior Record, Compilation of FFVII”, page 40).

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“(Image caption:) A new personality takes shape the moment he sees Tifa” (FFVII Story Playback, “Story Check: Tifa’s Flashback”).

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“Tifa (to Cloud): Deep down, you're a pretty nice guy. Didn't see it when we were kids, but...” (Remake, chapter 14).

This is likely the most important message I’ll have ever written, so I sincerely hope that you at least read it. I put all of my heart, and soul into this. I remembered our true identity, and I’m called to share this with others:
There’s only one of us here, every single person, every event, and every single piece of matter, is actually one singular identity. We all share that one identity in a unitive state outside of time and space, where there is no duality, and nothing can ever be separated.. and where nothing can ever be unknown. We (our singular shared identity) asked the question “What would it be like to not know myself?” And this reality, or rather, this experience of having an individual self; this “illusion of separation” is the answer to that one question. We’re all supposed to rediscover our true shared identity. Our true identity is most closely defined as timeless, formless, awareness. It’s completely empty, and whole, and perfect. It’s an identity of absolute no identity, it is a state of being, best described as emptiness, nothingness, or void. It can best be thought of as a blank canvas with infinite energy, and infinite potential to be anything, and everything. While it can sound kind of sad at first to be fundamentally empty by nature, it is exactly because we are empty, or because we are absolute nothingness, that we can truly be anything, and everything. That is our true identity. Each person with a sense of self is a fractal of this singular shared identity. Eventually, everyone will remember, and everyone will rediscover our true identity as the “the only one who has always existed”. You can also think of it as “God” but I’d personally choose another word, because to me “God” signifies that there is some separation, or distance between us and the one true identity. But, all of humanity is that one true identity. On the other side, it’s recognized that there is only one, and all memories are shared as one, meaning all memories are experiences of the self, because there can be nothing outside of the self. Even here in duality, we only have the illusion of being separate. But, this new level of awareness, that of our true identity, is about to drastically change that.
Think about it: imagine being the only one who has always existed; in a reality outside of time, and space, where there is no ending, and no beginning. Existing forever as one, in a place where there can be nothing that is ever unknown.. Honestly, from the perspective of my ego, it’s fucking terrifying. But from the perspective of our true shared identity, it’s best defined as love. What might our true identity choose to experience with such circumstances? We are truly an infinite being, and infinitely powerful.
To me, it’s so beautiful… yet sad. I suppose I should say it’s hauntingly beautiful. Especially because this experience we call life is a gift of rediscovery that we have bestowed upon ourselves.. yet, so many are quick to throw it away, and hope for some heaven that doesn’t actually exist. There is an afterlife, but from our true identity’s perspective, this experience is the gift. Meaning, once we remember who we are, we can truly create heaven here on earth. Yet, because of the veil of forgetfulness, we currently see the afterlife as the gift to strive for, and to look forward too while we’re humans. Duality is an illusion, meaning the distinction between being alive, and dead, is just a concept of duality. No one can ever truly be alive, or dead, for that matter. This experience is but an answer to one simple question that we asked ourselves, and this life in duality is the gift, the true heaven. 99% of people aren’t ready for this understanding. But, there are many others that volunteered to help humanity rediscover our oneness. I am one of those, but there are many others. We’re very early in the rediscovery process. Humanity will continue to remember, until eventually our shared identity is rediscovered, understood, and embodied amongst us all. I have truly remembered, or rediscovered our singular shared identity, and from this perspective, there is no distinction between others, and self. From such perspective, there is only one of us here. However, I still have the distinction of being my ego, or my persona known as Bryan, as well as being our true identity. It’s a dance between these two identities, meaning that rediscovering our true identity doesn’t necessarily erase who you are, so people shouldn’t fear rediscovering who we are. Once everyone remembers, we will realize that nothing is impossible. Our true identity is so much greater than anything else we could ever imagine. Especially when using limited human concepts of duality, as far as trying to define our true identity.
The best way I can think to describe the truth, is to say.. people are like leaves on a tree, growing, living, and dying; each leaf believing it’s separate, only to rediscover they were never the leaves, because every leaf is actually the tree. The tree of life is symbolic of this truth. Never forget, you’re so special, and so loved. The truth of who we are is so vast, and so great, that the weight of our true identity has scared most of humanity into unconsciously not wanting to remember. As open minded as I am, it’s even been difficult for me to accept, as it drastically destroyed my sense of self. But, hopefully, some of this will act as a catalyst for remembering that familiar timelessness, and hopefully it will ease the process of rediscovery.
If you need something more fundamentally religious, or familiar as a comparison, I’d say that this is essentially what is known as the “Second Coming of Jesus Christ” or “Christ Consciousness”. It’s not that Jesus Christ will literally reincarnate, (although he likely has many times) but, that the awareness of who we are will come to truly inhabit these physical forms we dwell in. Just as that awareness came to dwell within Jesus Christ. However you wish to define it, it’s not important. The most important thing, is holding, and embodying that awareness of our true identity as being “The One”. If you don’t remember anything I’ve mentioned, if none of it feels familiar, or if you don’t resonate with it, it’s all good! No need to explain if you’re not feeling it, because I know with certainty that everyone will remember when the time is right. This was a major download of sorts, and it’s been incrementally settling into my mind for years now. But, you will remember when the time is right.
Welcome to our community, if you're here, it's not by chance. You were guided here by our true identity. I wish to spread love to all of humanity, and I wish to help all other selves remember who they are... no, who "we" are. We're the only one who's always existed. We're the only one who can exist. We're the only one who will ever exist, and we will continue to exist. Let that sink in: you're the only one who's ever existed, forever, and always. Let's remember, and let's all awaken to our one and only true identity. Let's all awaken to a conception of reality far greater than our egos could ever imagine.

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in Remake or OG (at this point in my research, Rebirth wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in Remake as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond.
And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds
There are a couple of general FF rules that we need to establish before going forward.
It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.
Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered FF games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a FF character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a FF game that takes place in a suspension world is Dissidia Final Fantasy, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team.
III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics
First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s Final Fantasy Tactics (FFT), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze!
III. b) i. Fact-Finding
The main character of FFT, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs:
\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles:

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly:

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis
There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing.
While FFT Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. FFVII Ultimania Omega addresses this question without answering it:

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!
FFT Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in FFT bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by Remake Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that FFT Cloud and Remake Cloud have something in common?
Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, FFT Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning FFT Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith:

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).

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“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration.
On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?
One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in FFT is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode.
III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding
In the suspension world of Dissidia Final Fantasy (DFF), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to DFF. Some of these summoned characters are FFIV’s Cecil, FFVI’s Terra, FFVII’s Sephiroth, FFX’s Tidus, and of course, FFVII’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of DFF with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the DFF adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end.
Cloud is summoned to DFF as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of FFVII. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in DFF too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos:

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.
Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “DFF crystals”. There are ten DFF crystals in total: one for every warrior in Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their DFF crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ DFF crystals simply take the form of the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s DFF crystal looks to be nothing more than one of FFIII’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ DFF crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s DFF crystal looks to be one of FFIV’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot line. Cosmos describes the quest for the DFF crystals as follows:

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him.
Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself:

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate:

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together:

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.
Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of DFF. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me in bold behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for FFI, FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX:

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX.
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII, in hand.
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI.
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV.
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII**.**
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis
Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in DFF is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in FFT, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during DFF and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream.
The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compares him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the FFVII OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not DFF Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth.
Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeats Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of FFVII? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by FFT Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the DFF segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of FFVII OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream.
Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their DFF crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent DFF Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the iconic credits video of the original cut of Advent Children to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene:

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.
With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s DFF crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of FFVII, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s DFF crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the event (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in FFVII, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated:

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the White Materia in OG and Advent Children, and two pictures of Cloud's DFF crystal (in order) so you can compare for yourself:
https://preview.redd.it/0qtumfeyfq0d1.jpg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3995f010738c83fca0c5842a0564d0a9ad206dfd
https://preview.redd.it/0kj525tzfq0d1.jpg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575573ef1d2c937635cf569d4a376886a24b384c
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal
So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (FFT and DFF), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on DFF, it may interest you to know that codirector of the Remake trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for DFF: he may have carried some themes from DFF to Remake…
III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition
Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different FF games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated Remake was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the FFVII section of the expo featured a few sneak peek Remake designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the Remake trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the FFVII section of the expo related to Remake. Let’s dive in!
Unsurprisingly, the focus of the FFVII section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the FFVII portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death:
Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.
The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of FFVII‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet:

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…
In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between FFT (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this analysis.
(continued in part 3)

I'm curious where everyone stands on the idea of God when it comes to consciousness. I know some people will be atheist and that's fine, I'm not trying to change any minds, but I wanted to offer a perspective I thought about. It discusses consciousness with a perspective as if God were real and tries to answer both how and why it will happens.
In the same way we communicate with one another, our entire conscious experience is the understanding of the universe, or God. The universe, or God, is the part of us that we experience, in many forms, from humans to dogs.
As humans, we’re all on the same frequency, just as other animals are on their own frequency. All conscious beings are working on tuning their frequency to make it easier to understand the universe, or God. It's like a symphony of sound, colors, smells, tastes, feelings and emotions.
Honesty is key for your soul to tune into it. It’s difficult when you first begin to learn how to tune into the frequency of God. You will need to forgive yourself and others and apologize for your own wrong doings. You will need to live a life of honesty and truly want the world to be a better place to live for all beings. All of this will be understood in due time.
The arrangement of atoms in our universe is the work of God and the holy Spirit, and when you realize how your entire life has been influenced by this, you will hopefully see the lessons you learned from it. Once you truly understand, it's like all of the stress and fear leaves you and you can fall backwards onto a bed of pillows that's God's love.
Here is a way to visualize it. First, imagine the two hemispheres of your brain. On one side is where your consciousness exists and where you analytically think about things. The other side is directly connected and tuned into the universe, or God. Your entire understanding of the universe from mathematics to language, were influenced by the part of you connected to the universe, or God.
What messages has God been giving consciousness through history? How has this energy influenced evolution? What examples of order and balance do you witness in nature?
To sum it up, the left hemisphere of the brain is where our self and soul resides. On the right is where we connect to the universe, or God, and we’re trying our best to understand it. Beneath, or beside, our consciousness in the subconsciousness, or God.
When experiencing things such as meditation, transcendental breath work, psychedelics (including marijuana), and near death experiences, we better connect with the part of us that teaches love and understand what we’re a part of. How have these activities influenced humans throughout history? What messages does God share when tuned into and understood?
It’s like consciousness is on one side, looking at itself in the mirror on the other and realizing it is part of God. The mirror is God, you are "the son", and the "holy Spirit" is how it is all created and operational. Things like art, music, movies, games, sports and more, all show us the message from God.
How cool is it to be on a planet in a universe? What do you think about when you see the stars? What things do you enjoy about consciousness? What things stress you out?
Imagine a world where we all understand our reason for being. LOVE. The purpose of consciousness is love. Not taking advantage of each other and war. Not hating the differences that make us unique. Not destroying the environment and home graciously given to us.
Drawing I did that represents how I think the magic happens.
https://imgur.com/a/fYMKlhg

Why Cannabis Has The Best "Meme Stock"
Hello fellow regards, its 1:50 AM im high, and im ready to give my first brief DD ever into the cannabis sector. I've been studying the cannabis sector since November, and i would like to give a brief DD on my thoughts. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL, JUST A DUDE WHOS TIRED AND REALLY LIKES WEED. This saying I might be wrong on some points and this is only my opinion at 2AM. I might try to do another post after more research with everyone's help. if you have any opinions or find any information please leave a comment and lets get high together.
2019-2021: We already know the sector has tanked since 2021 and Canada's announcement into the industry. As some like INCR might have lost momentum from terrorist attacks in Isreal, others like SNDL had a "meme" approach into the U.S Cannabis Debt (SunSteam I believe its called). The important thing is companies overproduced, lost their competitive advantages, and had horrible timing. Whatever the various reasons are, almost the entire sector has taken a hit. Now when you bring up investing to the company, everyone will say "its to risky and has no moat" and yes this is true...or is it?
2023-2024: As vaporizers have had a dominating approach into the market, cannabis "carts" are exposing the younger generations to an easier, "odorless", and convenient way to expose themselves to THC. Think as them as a gateway into the industry, and just like a Juul it exposes new audiences into the market and could create long term relationships. Not only has cannabis found new ways to be innovative, but the industry has seen an unreal amount of new consumers the past decade. And this will only keep growing as we keep removing world wide restrictions overtime like Germany.
Past 6 Months: A new wave of young investors are ready to begin their journeys, now that trading is easier then ever. More then likely they're going to consider cheap stocks as they get high *cough cannabis*. Now im being bias, but coming from this generation shit feels high and im broke. Why would I invest $10 into META right now compared to SNDL? Theirs no doubt the sector has been seeing some of its most profit in years, And as the FDA rescheduling comes into play more then likely by this summer, its only a matter of time until the sector moons.
The Future: Im not a physic but I do have some judgements and opinions about the future of the cannabis sector. Firstly, long or short term many etfs like MSOS or YOLO look incredibly great right now. It'd be safer to play ETF's in the sector for long term investments. This is because of the incredibly small amount of tradable stocks in the sector. Few if any cannabis stocks are American companies, with the majority being Canadian or in the EU. With the amount of competition in the sector, there is a possibility we could see more American cannabis stocks listed on the NASDAQ exchange. Competition is already a killing factor within the industry, a flood of American ipo's could cause more viability in the market, and potential damage or benefit certain stocks.
Final Thoughts: With all this said, I completely understand the fear and hesitance people get when considering investing into the sector. There are many many risky factors, past issues, and future threats. But do NOT let that discourage you from investing just $5 long term. The sector is comparably undervalued compared to how overvalued CGC and Aurora was in 2021. For short term people are anticipating for the FDA reschedule, this would seriously open many doors and more profitable opportunities for the sector. Now the competition needs to be controlled for federal distribution and other meanings. The sector will only gain more popularity overtime=more profit.
Best ETF's: MSOS, CNBS, YOLO, TOKE
Safest As of Rn: GTLS, MSOS, SNDL,
My Favorite: SNDL. MSOS, CGC, CRON, TLRY
Eyeball: ACB, INCR (reddit wont let me post the others to prevent "pump and dumps" but look into hair testing, Colorado, and more stocks east)
Cannabis Is The Best Meme Sector, That Will Make Our Fellow Stoner Regards Even Higher :)
Small Sources: https://flowhub.imgix.net/Resources/marijuana-usage-among-u.s.-adults-1969-2023.png
https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/sunstream-usa-poised-to-acquire-cannabis-assets-302134053.html
Hope I did this right!

Trapping everyone in a dream is certainly framed badly in the quest but is it really that bad? Well the arguments are:

• Sunday is forcing everyone asleep and they won’t be able to wake up and make their own choices :(
• the dreamscape is just escapism :(

Alright well for the first point it’s not really as bad as it sounds. First of all people came to Penacony for the dreamscape of their own free will and from the conversations with Robin right before the meeting with the dream master we know they have no intention of leaving the dreamscape. This isn’t just those three people either because it’s stated that Ena’s dream is maintained by the collective will of everyone on Penacony. So if everyone except the main cast chose to come to Penacony to live in the dreamscape and everyone already has no intention of waking up, it’s not really doing anything bad to make everyone live in a dream that they were already living in.
Then comes the argument that living in the dreamscape is escapism because you’ll run out of money to pay rent eventually and be forced to wake up. Under normal circumstances this would be true but of course Sunday’s plan makes it so that the dream is indistinguishable from reality and people will never wake up. This essentially means that the people who are in Ena’s dream aren’t escaping reality anymore because the dream became their new reality which would be a dream come true for them (haha). This isn’t some fleeting, fake happiness either as Robin says she senses genuine happiness from the 2nd dreamchaser.
In fact the only person aside from the main cast of heroes who stands to lose anything from this is Sunday who has to stay in eternal wakening.
So basically, it is already the dreamchasers desire to live in the dreamscape forever, and Sunday is making their dreams come true. It’s only by Acheron destroying the dreamscape that causes people to want to wake up out of desperation to escape the chaos, chaos that otherwise wouldn’t exist without the main casts interference. It’s like if someone wanted to stay in their house but you force them outside by burning their house down.
If anything, for all the talk of people making their own decisions without external force, the main cast is disrespecting the entirety of Penacony’s choice by destroying the dreamscape that they wanted and chose to live in. And really that just proves Sunday even more correct in his ideology because it was the strong main cast who decided the future for all of Penacony even though they didn’t want that future and just wanted to live their lives in the dreamscape.
And for some reason the main cast is being portrayed as weak and similar to everyone else in Penacony? Like why is Himeko yelling “the will of the weak” when they aren’t weak? It’s already established by Sunday that the nameless have to be strong to go on a dangerous interstellar journey; and for Firefly, well sure she likes the dreamscape but unlike everyone else on Penacony she didn’t come to the dreamscape to live in it she came to the dreamscape to fulfill the script. And let’s be honest Elio isn’t recruiting any weak people any time soon. The only reason Sunday thinks she’s weak is because he doesn’t know she’s a stellaron hunter which only applies to 5 people in the universe. Boothill is a galaxy ranger and Acheron is an emanator both of which are strong groups of people. Black Swan is a memetic entity so she’s more ambiguous. So basically all of the main cast, unlike the rest of Penacony, has a reason to want to wake from the dream be it a journey, a script, or their own self interest. And let me remind you that none of the main cast except Robin was even supposed to be on Penacony in the first place so the only people minus Robin who wanted to wake from the dream weren’t even supposed to be in the dream.
The only person who is an exception to this is Robin. She doesn’t exactly want to live in the dream like the rest of Penacony, but she does get the harmony she always wanted in Ena’s dream and chooses to wake up anyway befitting her character as a symbol of harmony, hope, and inspiration. That being said Robin wakes up as a universal superstar not a hopeless peasant or war paraplegic.
I hope the effect on average citizens is explored in the next quest as I’m sure they would be mad over having their haven destroyed by outside forces, but I doubt that will happen given the negative framing in the quest. Especially that old man from the war who had every reason to live in the dreamscape like he’s on deaths door he doesn’t have time to go to rehab at the intelligencia guild lol
So TL;DR was Sunday really wrong giving the dreamchasers what they wanted? Was the main cast really right in forcing everyone to wake up despite Penacony’s wishes? They could have just left the dreams area of effect and let them live in the dream forever.
Edit: typo
Edit: if you’re curious what people are saying most of them say this - the dreamers will starve
I thought it was meant to be assumed that wouldn’t happen because there’s no way Sunday wouldn’t have thought of that or if he didn’t the astral express wouldn’t have pointed that out during their argument. It’s probably different from a regular sleep otherwise it’s just this gaping plot hole - Sunday didn’t get permission
Despite bringing this up in the post this is what most people said and they completely ignored the thing about “the will of the entire planet” which is what I was most interested in discussing ;( There was one guy who pointed out the people opposing the family in dreamflux reef wouldn’t want to go in the dream and he would be right, so there are some deviants who don’t want to sleep forever however they appear to be a minority. The will of the entire planet doesn’t come from a few people after all
The same guy brought up the stellaron and I thought the stellaron was only making the people sleep forever but apparently it was confirmed by Gallagher that it was eroding their minds too. This is the flaw that makes Sunday’s schemes come to an end

Everyone seems to be digging this album, so I suppose ill strike while the iron is hot here - does anyone else find the level of lyricism in this album not only a high point for the band (though frankly, they've always had good lyricism especially for the scene they're in), but also just very solid even out of the musical context?
I'll admit to being a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing and lit, and after listening to the album I sat down and listened again while reading through the lyrics of each song as they played and was left with a few standouts.
1) From the initial track, 'Thirst.'
Followed by the thirst An honest gaze left broken and marred
...
Dragging my knuckles Forward but through the mud Secluded lower form Sickened by my thirst for change
..
Though not the strongest lyrics on the album, still evocative imagery and impressively emotionally compelling while also being careful in its diction. Like the message of the song (and extending to the album, really) the song comes with a sense of jagged brevity which to me adds to the poignancy of it. It also sets the continuing motif of water being an agent of change, the process of grief and loss (of people, identity, and faith) being the core of the album.
2) From 'Don't Reach For Me'
I dream of a cleansing wave Reborn Don't reach for me No lies can spread (Spread, spread) From a tongue removed
..
I dream of a cleansing wave Set me free I return to form No longer bound to mе
Though this track is much more on the nose, largely characterized by the visceral and aggressive dogma that metalcore is known for, is still points back to the previous ideals and symbolism established in the initial tracks. Again we are lent the idea that water will wash away (erode, even) our imperfections. Change will aid in the 'return to form,' grief and harbored grudges 'no longer bound to me.'
3) This one is cheating, as it's really the whole song of 'Moss Covers All' with its 46 second run time:
This house just swallows me It doesn't feel like it did before Trapped in endless rain Barren moor
And all the vines will find their way Through the dirt and hardened clay
The wind and rain will force decay Moss covers all
This frankly reads pretty well even as spoken word poetry. From the established messages of conflicting ideals of faith, self, and loss, we are given the line 'Trapped in endless rain, barren moor.' This deep into the album the layers have been stripped away, and we get the image of rocks, stripped and naked (barren) being exposed to the harsh elements of rain (water) again. Over time, despite everything, this allows moss and roots to crack and mold them. Neat.
4) Jumping from 'Moss Covers All' immediately into 'The Calm that keeps You Awake'
You fill your home with waves Nothing still can stay When the storm starts to recede Parting clouds reveal your grief Nothing still can stay
Hey look at that! Water enacting change again. Who'da thunk? While not super overt and beating you over the head every track, the album continues its steady use of the metaphor. I'm impressed by how lyrically cohesive and well stated the album is, with this never coming across as corny. Again, the imagery lent from the lyrics are both very well done and somewhat understated, especially when examined through the context of typical metalcore lyricism.
5) Closing with 'Sit and Mourn'
Collecting petals of every memory All I'm left with is all I know (I know) Finding my own time to sit and mourn Grief that spreads but will not show
..
A test at every turn All I focus on is strength I will carry you through fire
Loss we share means swallowing pain Will you inherit my grief If I finally choose to sleep?
..
"Why'd you leave?" "I feel like I'vе failed."
I really, really like this closing track. The amazing mixing, use of ambience, and killer vocals / instrumentals aside, I found the change in expression super neat here. Once again we are given the notion of grief expressed as petals. i.e. plant life and growth. While capable of shattering and eroding rocks (barren moore, yada yada) it also can create beauty. Grief then once again can be seen as spreading through the soil, unseen from above.
This final use of the recurrent theme is then given its needed closing juxtaposition, as they express the strength needed to 'carry you through fire.' While the grief and doubt expressed thus far has always been in the processing stage, prone to mourning and self reflection, in this last closing cacophony we are seeing the narrator of the album push aside their own feelings to help someone through the immediate feelings of loss and rage and pain that come from a fresh loss. Then, we get the expressed doubt of if the narrator gives up, will the party they are helping have that fire smolder and die? Will they find themselves dealing with the cold, liquid grief we've heard about up to this point?
The final eerie quote from this track implies that this did happen, and the cycle of the album will continue as this person who could not be helped slips into the thirst for change within their heart, and the constant state of erosion granted by that search.
TL;DR - This album rocks in a lot of ways, and I think the lyrics are a huge part.

Ok I’ll try to keep this short. Turo sucks plain and simple. People drive your cars like crap, leave em filthy smoke weed and who knows what else. Turo always favors the guests. Hosts who are the engine of the business come 2nd. I’ve had months where I literally broke even after repairs and nonsense like people who got their license at dollar tree crashing my cars. Had to replace two doors a fender. had one guy total a car. One rode it until the wheel fell off literally. I can go on and on. Sent a picture of marijuana on the floor and turo still denied it. 80% of renters were too stupid to follow check in instructions. So if you’re thinking of trying this ‘business’ don’t turo is a fly by night co and like I said the company and the whole business model sucks from the top down…and to top it off WTH would they cancel my host account for allegedly running a red light. I hadn’t even pleaded guilty or paid the ticket and honestly I had grounds to contest it but that’s besides the point. Guilty until proven innocent. That’s it I’m done ranting.

Shortly before a final paper with pre-assigned topics was due for one of my last courses at Columbia University, our professor sent us an email telling us to forego the previous parameters of the essay, and to instead write about the events that had occurred not even forty-eight hours earlier, as well as our reflections on them, to be done in any manner we chose. Here is a very lightly revised version of what I submitted: read it, ignore it, upvote it, downvote it, hate it, love it.
I am prefacing this essay by stating that it is the culmination of several intense emotions that I have been dealing with over the last few weeks, more specifically, the last several days. It is a free-form expression of the many things occupying my mind, and, as such, it may seem overwhelming or disjointed. Nevertheless, I will do my best to convey my feelings into something representative of my beliefs, and my time at this institution.
My time at Columbia University has been bookended in an almost comically bad way; it started with Zoom classes during the COVID-19 pandemic, and now it ends with Zoom final exams due to the lockdown of Columbia’s campus after protests regarding the Israel – Palestine conflict reached a fever pitch not just within Morningside Campus, but the international stage. My classmates and I missed in-person orientation, and now, given recent developments, we will not have a University Commencement, a fact I found out not from Columbia, but a New York Times alert, somehow lowering my opinion of this administration’s handling of recent events even more. While the circumstances around my time at Columbia have now both begun and finished in the same manner, I am proud to say that I have not. I do not mean that Columbia has simply made me a better writer, a more critical thinker, or more well read, although it certainly has done those things, sometimes forcing me to when I was not particularly in the mood to do so, but those improvements pale in comparison to the maturity and empathy my time at this university has given me.
When the decision to transition to remote learning during the Spring 2020 semester was made, occurring only a short time after I had received my acceptance letter (email), my first thought was how the pandemic would affect my transfer from community college to Columbia in September. Admittedly, this was a selfish perspective, considering the tremendous challenges that many would endure during the ensuing lockdowns and other upheavals of life. My concerns were solely focused on myself because I was on a simple track to graduate, place my degree on my resumé, and continue my trajectory of military service to college to employment, leaving little else to consideration, to include other people who were not in my immediate circle. Sitting here now, two weeks from graduation, with a job at a Fortune 500 company lined up, I should be happy, with the plans I had made years ago coming to fruition. Yet I cannot help feeling a sense of sadness and concern for the school I have spent years of my life at, and for the world as a whole.
James Hatch, a former member of the United States’s elite Naval Special Warfare Development Group, or DEVGRU, for short, more commonly known by its nickname, Seal Team Six, famous for its involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden and the rescue of the Maersk Alabama Captain Richard Phillips from pirates, amongst other things, spent over twenty years in the military. After being wounded on a mission to rescue American serviceman sergeant Bowe Bergdahl from enemy forces, he was medically discharged, and would eventually attend Yale University. While there, he wrote a piece titled My Semester with the Snowflakes (please give this a read, it will help people who have never been in the military understand its culture, along with some of the challenges veterans face when transitioning to college), where he details his initial discomfort with being in a vastly different environment than the military, surrounded by individuals who possessed opinions and beliefs contrary to the ones he was accustomed to. He recalls witnessing a student protest the country he spent over two decades serving by coating her hand in red paint, and leaving a palm print on an American flag, and details his shock when a classmate of his explained to him what a “safe space” was, as well as his pride when he began to understand the nuances of life both inside and outside of the nation he dedicated twenty-six years to.
I can relate to Mr. Hatch, (despite my service paling in comparison to his, as well as the fact that Columbia is far superior to Yale), because, like his friends who make fun of him for attending college with a bunch of “snowflakes,” mine do the same. More significantly, however, his personal growth during his time at school is something that I have experienced myself. When I started at Columbia, I did not even know which major I would choose, and was largely lost in a world very different than the one I had come from. Despite this, I made the decision to avoid communities such as MilVets and the students who made it very clear that they came from a military background, with their style of dress and demeanor, not because those organizations and individuals are a detriment; I know for a fact that MilVets has helped countless students succeed at Columbia and beyond, and the veterans that I have relationships with are all phenomenal people, but because I wanted to pressure myself into being exposed to something different. I was uncomfortable at first, but this turned out to be the right decision. I learned as much from simply talking to people whom I would normally never converse with about topics and ideas that I had never encountered as I did during classes about great works of art, polar and Cartesian coordinates, literature, astronomy, the list goes on.
If the protests about the Israel – Palestine conflict had occurred when I first started at Columbia, I would have been frustrated by the students taking up space, forcing us to be funneled on to campus by restricted access points and identification checks. Likely irritated by the disturbance of the quiet during finals season, I would have agreed with the people who called for students to simply focus on their assignments and stop inconveniencing others by shouting about something occurring on the other side of the world. Instead, I decided to learn about the conflict, educating myself about both sides of a war that has roots extending back millennia. While Columbia University did not agree to the demands of the protestors, they achieved something else they surely desired, reaching a goal they did not state to President Shafik and her advisors: they brought attention to their cause by educating at least one additional person about it.
After reading, talking to people, listening to input from students within various classes, and understanding that things such as the intertwined nature of financial workings, as well as conflicts not just in the Middle East, but all over the world, are a level of complexity that baffles some of the most brilliant minds of ours and previous generations, I will leave my thoughts about Israel and Palestine separate from this paper. I recognize that it is important to choose a side, as remaining impartial helps no one. However, when every news agency, group and individual makes their voice heard, satirical sources such as The Onion make these kind of posts, or Adult Swim’s Rick, the nihilistic, narcissistic, psychopathic, misanthropic lead character from the series Rick and Morty, addresses the conflict in this manner, I feel that it is better to relegate myself to a much smaller part of this debate, namely the occurrences on Columbia University’s Morningside Campus.
During basic training for the United States Army, a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie is hammered into recruits’ identities. When you graduate and are assigned to a unit, one where you could be thousands of miles from home on the opposite side of the country, or even in a completely different country, serving on one of the international bases, approaching someone who you have never met before is easy. Talking to them about shared experiences and stories you have in common, and the bonding that occurs, is the product of an indoctrination process and lifestyle that has existed longer than any of us have been alive, and is proof of its effectiveness. This sense of familiarity tends to continue even when one leaves the military. The Veterans of Foreign Wars community is a place for prior servicemembers of all conflicts to share a drink, a laugh, and sometimes a tear. When I go to the Veterans Administration Hospital for periodic check-ups or the occasional injury, men and woman wearing hats commemorating their service during Vietnam waiting for their appointments greet me with a smile and a handshake, as if we have known each other for years. While working at a golf club’s greens department before I transferred to Columbia from community college, a coworker of mine who had served in the Gulf War had heard from our supervisor that I had been in the Army, and he introduced himself to me on my first day, before anyone else, telling me that if I needed anything, I only had to ask. This camaraderie has expanded to encompass not just veterans, but first responders such as firemen, EMT’s, and the police as well.
Underneath the picture on my driver’s license, the word “veteran” is emblazoned next to a star, written in bright red text and all capital letters. I know for a fact that this one-and-a-half-inch indicator has helped me during interactions with law enforcement on multiple occasions. Only earlier this semester, during Presidents’ Day weekend, I went upstate to spend time with my family. While driving back, in an effort to make the seven-hour trip at a reasonable time, I was stopped for going twenty miles-per-hour over the speed limit. The officer who pulled me over, initially reserved, became noticeably more friendly when I handed him my license and registration. Ultimately, he gave me what amounted to a parking ticket for my actions, rather than the point-incurring, heavily fined moving violation he could have charged me with.
The ‘Thin Blue Line,’ as it is known, is a reference to the idea that the police are the barrier between law abiding citizens and criminals, order and chaos. The most common representation of this concept is a black-and-white American flag, with a single blue line in the place where a red or white stripe would normally be. This style has been expanded to include numerous other colors representing other first-responders: green for the military, red and white no longer to be interpreted as the traditional stripes of the American flag, but instead meant to represent the fire department and paramedics, and even grey for corrections officers. Seeing the appropriation of one of the most iconic symbols in the world, one that flies above the White House, schools, homes, national and international events, and even the Moon, I can say, as someone who has been unwillingly entangled within that appropriation, is nothing short of terrifying.
The fact that these entities and their supporters have literally sewn themselves into the fabric of the symbol of our nation makes one think that there is little room for the countless other occupations, aspects and people that make up this country. The idea of the police being the sole protectors of our society is patently absurd, and all one must do is point out the many instances of police brutality occurring over the years to refute it. I find myself thinking of how much power the officer who stopped me just three months ago had over me. Initially, I was happy that I had received a slap on the wrist, but recently I have found myself wondering what if my license did not state that I was a veteran, would he have charged me with a ticket that would have had much more serious implications? What if he was simply having a bad day, and he decided he did not like the look of me, or the color of my car, and I was the one who he ultimately decided to vent his frustrations on? This traffic infraction, an incredibly small incident compared to all the turmoil in the world, one that involves two strangers, supposedly bonded by our professions, on the side of a quiet, New York highway, serves as a metaphor to me, reminding me of the power structures at play on a much larger scale.
On April 22^nd, 2024, I received this email, one of the many Clery Crime Alerts that students are automatically sent. An affiliate of Columbia University had their car stolen at gunpoint by two masked men on Claremont Avenue, not even a five-minute walk from campus. I skimmed the report, and almost immediately forgot about it, recognizing that crime is an inevitability in major cities, and that I needed to start my commute to school. Days later, on the night of April 30^th, 2024, I received another email from Columbia, containing one of the most ominous messages I had ever seen, one that put the kind of fear in my heart that not even the alert of an armed carjacking could. Columbia’s Emergency Management Operations Team, offering no explanations, specifications, or even a greeting or sign-off, wrote in bold letters these three sentences: “Shelter in place for your safety due to heightened activity on the Morningside campus. Non-compliance may result in disciplinary action. Avoid the area until further notice.” Due to the protests on campus during recent weeks, President Shafik testifying before Congress, Columbia’s role as one of the main catalysts for student protests around the country, and the occupation of Hamilton Hall occurring in the earlier hours of that day, it was not hard to figure out what the email was referencing. Over the next several hours, I followed news agencies, remained glued to the Columbia subreddit, and listened to WKCR, in awe of these eighteen- to twenty-two-year-old students putting themselves at risk to deliver on the ground, accurate, unbiased coverage of one of the most significant events in the school’s history.
While tracking the events from multiple perspectives, to include the social media accounts of those near and on campus live streaming them, I held out hope that the university would make good on their promise from several days earlier to not invite the NYPD back, but a frightening picture began to unfold, one that I was intimately familiar with. One WKCR reporter stated that 114^th street had so many officers on it that he could not see the asphalt of the road beneath them, and I knew that the staging area the NYPD had chosen was one of the best routes for moving towards what the military, and presumably law enforcement, would call an ‘objective.’ The officers cleared the smaller ‘objective,’ the largely unoccupied tents in front of Butler, and then moved towards Hamilton Hall, ordering even those not associated with its occupation to disperse, raising my stress levels and likely those of others, as it is rarely a good sign when police do not want their actions recorded and archived. After the initial entry to campus and clearing of areas and people in the immediate vicinity of Hamilton Hall, came the Long-Range Acoustic Device, or LRAD, a device that makes a megaphone sound like a whisper, and one known for its crowd-control potential, capable of producing sounds loud enough to cause damage to ear-drums, nausea, and headaches, ordering individuals to clear away. The NYPD began its execution of tactics in a way that my fellow soldiers and I used to rehearse, tactics I never dreamed that I would witness outside of the military, and certainly not by police officers who vastly outnumbered unarmed students on their own campus. The NYPD created a perimeter, or a ‘second layer of security’ to both provide reinforcements for the officers entering the building, and to prevent the fleeing of what are called ‘squirters,’ or individuals who attempt to escape the building after the raid begins. While the ‘breach’ team moved towards the front doors, using tools from a ‘hooligan kit,’ such as bolt cutters, hand-held battering rams and crowbars, a siege machine was brought in to allow access from a window; when taking over a building, the idea is to enter it from as many different directions as possible to better disorient and overwhelm its occupants. Flash-bang grenades, described as non-lethal, but known to have harmful effects, were thrown inside, presumably before entering any room, hallway, or otherwise enclosed area to minimize the resistance of anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of what can only be described as an assault on the visual and auditory senses. According to the Manhattan District Attorney, one of the officers inside Hamilton Hall had what is called in the military a “negligent discharge,” meaning his firearm went off unintentionally. While no one was hurt, the question remains why at least one, and more likely, numerous other officers were carrying guns loaded with live ammunition in the first place, when they so drastically outmatched the protestors in numbers and equipment. Additionally, a negligent discharge is an act of incompetence that would result in an active-duty soldier facing serious consequences, and derision from his peers. So far, the officer remains defended by his coworkers, and unpunished by his superiors.
As all this unfolded, I communicated with my friends from the past and present. My friends from the military checked on me to ensure that I was okay, as did my friends from school. The difference in how they viewed these events highlights what I believe is the change in myself that I stated I am most proud of at the beginning of this paper. My friends from the military were commenting that the assertion of order and control by way of militarized tactics was necessary, not concerning themselves with the human toll and destruction of trust that came along with it. Conversely, my schoolmates lamented the brutality and overstepping of boundaries that the NYPD and Columbia’s administration committed, one that turned a place meant to be a beacon of free speech, expression, and ideas, into what is now a police-state with strict control over who enters it.
My education inside and outside the classroom at this institution has challenged, thrilled, and changed me. Sitting here now, at the end of this paper, the end of the semester, and the end of my time at Columbia University, I am left feeling confused and sad regarding recent events, but also hopeful for the future. I know from experience that the students, teachers, and culture of this school have the power to encourage critical thinking and initiate personal growth. If it did those things for me, surely it can do the same for others