Looking for advice . Please be kind to me. I’ve posted on here before and have been met with not so kind comments. I don’t mind honesty I just prefer if people were not rude as I’m going through a really rough time.
I found three pictures of my husband’s penis in his recently deleted photos, and one picture of a girl naked in a mirror. The top dated May 16, 2024. However, I was unable to go to the more info tab so that I could figure out exactly WHEN the pictures were taken. As I know you can do on an apple iPhone . he snatched the phone out of my hand and deleted the pictures prior to me being able to do this. I will provide more context as to our relationship and the situation below. I am sorry for the lengthy post. I am not very concise and do not know how to be in the situation as there are many factors involved.
For context, I have been with my husband for 11 years, married for two. The very first few years of our relationship my husband had a Sexting problem where he would sex people compulsively behind my back as well as other things. This was 2014/2015 However, he has said it’s never been in person. He got help for this, sought out a therapist.
As a result of this, obviously the trust has been broken despite how long ago it was. We never saw couples therapy, which was a huge mistake,
and I never saw therapy myself until recently, for other issues were going through. As a result of him cheating, our solution was that I could go through his phone unrestricted whenever I wanted. As somebody with a history of being cheated on, I’m very good at going through a phone and know pretty much every trick known to figure stuff out. Up until I found these pictures, I haven’t really found incriminating evidence. However, there were instances where I questioned if he was able to hide some thing from me. for example, he’d have logins into a Snapchat, even though he never sent pictures or any snaps, he would get spam messages, which to me seemed like he was maybe doing online chats and as a result, getting spam messages at times, and he has acted weird and just off.
For more context, my husband is a very good liar. He can look me in the eyes and lie like there’s no issue. I have caught him in multiple lies not related to cheating. He is a compulsive gambler as well (as am I but I’m currently in help and getting better). There have been many instances where he has lied to me and made me seem crazy for me to only find out hard proof evidence later that he was not being honest.
His argument for the current pictures found on his phone is that he recently restored his iPhone to an old iCloud. This I know is true. He did Switch phones because his broke. his current iCloud backup wasn’t available and he had to restore his phone to an older version. However, like I said, I regularly go through his phone, including pictures. I have gone through his phone since this back up, I have not seen these pictures in his phone before.
Also, the pictures in his phone only go back until 2017. This includes on his photos app, on his Google photos, on his Snapchat, and pretty much anywhere else you could find photos. Any information on his phone actually only goes back to 2017 which makes me think that the iCloud back up is from 2017. Like I said, when my now husband cheated on me, it was in 2014 to 15.
I have regularly questioned him how pictures from this time could be on his current iPhone when it’s only dating back to 2017. He cannot provide me with more information than that “ they are old photos”. have brought up that there are no other photos from 2014 and 15 or even 16 and that it doesn’t seem likely that the only four old pictures on his phone from 201415 or 16 are sexting pictures.
Now for my evidence that they are new. The pictures of his penis are of him in underwear I literally just folded, it’s in a room that indicates he was at work, he’s in a shirt that is likely his current uniform (this has been his uniform since 2017-2018), he was away the weekend before working, I regularly go through his phone and haven’t seen these pictures, and his phone only goes back to 2017.
I will say that the picture of the girl in the mirror naked does remind me of an old picture I found on his phone in 2014/2015. It actually even looks like an old picture. However, the pictures of his penis 90% look new per what I said above.
What are your thoughts? Is it likely that these actually are old photos? I honestly feel like I’m not getting the full story. I’m not even saying that he cheated on me the weekend he went away, but they definitely seem like photos that are AFTER the cheating period Of our relationship.
I have told him time, and time again that I don’t care about the cheating. I mean, obviously I care, but it’s more about the fact that he cannot be honest about the situation. usually with our fights, he just waits until I forget it, and forgive him. But these are usually related to gambling not to cheating. I have told him that I really cannot move past this until I get the truth. I feel that there might be a partial truth that these are old (although again, I really do think that this happened the weekend he was away at work), however, I’m not getting the FULL story because it really just doesn’t make sense how they’re on his phone now. I keep asking him to make it make sense but all he can see is that they are old photos.
I am really thorough on how I go through his phone but there are some options that I feel like I could be missing. Such as he has a undercover Reddit account that I can’t find or isn’t currently on his phone, he’s on a website that’s not trackable and it’s just texting random people, or he has an email I’m on aware of.
Thank you in advance. Again, I know the cheating is a problem but I’m really willing to look past this if I get the full truth.

Human fighter: Sisyphus of Corinth
Name: Sisyphus
Title: king of endurance / unstoppable tyrant
Nationality: Greece
Brief description:
Once the tyrant king of Corinth, was punished by Zeus for his trickery & cheating death more than once.
Forced to roll a boulder up hill for eternity, only for the bolder to fall back down just before it could reach the top. And repeat
This was a horrible existence for Sisyphus, at least for the first century or so. But overtime he not only start to accept it, but gradually started to enjoy it.
Even sometimes challenging himself to roll the boulder up in different ways. From doing speed runs, one handed, even just kicking it up. Learning to appreciate the simples things, like small talks to those who pass by or just the quiet.
When Zeus eventually found out Sisyphus actually started to like it, he stop enforcing it because it stopped being a punishment.
Special ability/talent:
After years of pushing boulders up mountains he build up a lot of muscle, enough to be on the higher end of the strength spectrum for human fighters.
But what's really sets him apart is his superhuman level of stamina, able to go through intense activity far longer than most humans could hope to match.
Exerting himself at his max for extended periods of time.
Sisyphus fighting style is him using brawler like heavy punches, mixed with pankration style grappling.
Volund:
Rolling stone, takes the form of a small smooth marble like boulder .
Sisyphus can use the rolling stone as a projectile by throwing it, rolling across the ground like the world's deadliest bowling ball, or just pick it up and use it bash his opponent.
Rolling stone has special ability to be recalled back to him, when physically separate from him . Rolling back on its own back to him.
Godly fighter: Belphagor
Name: Belphagor
Title: priestess of sloth / the lazy innovator
Pantheon: Philistine/Abrahamic
Brief description:
Along with Beelzebub, she is one of the high princes of Helhiem. Called the embodiment of sloth, and she lives up to that moniker.
Belphagor was once the angel of innovation, but fell from heaven. She wasn't casted out, but fell down willingly. Because Lucifer told her that in Helhiem she can sleep as much as she wants and not have to work anymore. Something that appealed to her.
Belphagor is lazy to a fault, but she is one of the best problems solvers in all the underworld. Her figuring out the most efficient & quickest way to do something, because she really doesn't want to put the effort into it.
With many other gods going to her for advice on certain issues.
In Helhiem she spends most of her time just sleeping, reading, or daydreaming.
Special ability/talent:
Despite the fact belphagor usually seems half awake most of the time, she had deceptively very fast reflexes.
Her fighting style is more defensive, focusing on intercepting her opponent strikes before they can land. To parry them, or use their own momentum against them. Similar to judo or Akido.
Belphagor chose this fighting style because it specifically has the least amount of movement on her part.
By being so lazy, her body is actually conserving a large amount of energy. She can tap into her body energy stockpile, mostly in the form of short very dramatic burst of speed.
Blitzing most opponent with her blinding fast strikes, hitting from multiple angles.
A/N:
In the match, through at least half of the fight Belphagor doesn't go all out against Sisyphus.
Not because she wants a good fight, not out of arrogance like Poseidon, or to impress the crowed like Apollo. But because it would be too much effort on her part.
They don’t call her the queen of slackers for nothing.
She starts taking take the fight seriously, when Sisyphus starts to gain the upper hand. Even breaking off one of her horns.

Hello I'm Lx. I am a full-time worker in NZ, and currently on my gap year.
It was the second week of May 2023 when I met this guy on Bumble. Let's call him J. We talked and clicked right away, so we moved to IG to talk more, then later on to Messenger where the majority of our interactions occurred. Yes, we became official in the short time we knew each other. I know, ridiculous. We also became official after a few months of our relationship, where both of our families knew about us except my father.
On the 7th of August 2023, I met him in the Philippines. He picked me up at NAIA 3 (our first meeting) and left the airport as soon as I arrived at the hotel I booked in BGC. This was the time he unboxed the MacBook Air I gave him, as he mentioned numerous times that laptops are such a necessity in today's education.
During our stay, he received an email about him getting accepted to the university he wanted, which was TUP-M. He was overjoyed about the news, and I was too, but I cried to him. Even though I was so happy for him, I cried because of the endless possibilities in a big city like Manila. This includes new people that he will meet and the possibility of him meeting someone better than me. Yes, I was insecure. I had doubts given the short amount of time we knew each other. I also mentioned that I had trust issues. He then said that he would give up his scholarship for my sake and just go to Perpetual Biñan instead. I refused and said that I want him to put his career first before me, but he insisted on giving up his scholarship and dream university. His decision was firm, so I just went with it, though I still feel guilty about that.
We stayed in the hotel for 3 nights then went to his family's place in Laguna where his family let me stay.
15th - 17th of August 2023 We stayed in an AirBnB (condo) in Tagaytay and went to SB Hiraya and Skyranch together.
20th - 24th of August 2023 We went to Boracay together
29th of August 2023 This was my departure date from Manila to NZ
We did take a lot of photos and videos together, so it kind of bothered me how he has never posted anything about us, considering he's always active, especially on IG. I wanted to bring it up to him, but I set them aside because I didn't want us to fight.
In November of 2023, we had a huge argument. He had been hiding me from his IG stories. How did I know? My main account on IG had a glitch. I saw he posted a story, but when I clicked, it said "there has been an error". So I was already suspicious of him at that time. I opened my dummy account and stalked him. I then saw just a picture of himself. I was disappointed, sad, and angry almost because there is just no reason for him to hide his stories from me if he has nothing to hide. I asked him the reason why, then his response was "I did that because I feel like you don't trust me". Then why not give me reasons and proofs that I can fully trust you? Long story short, we made up. Yes, I was the one who initiated after having no contact for almost a week.
Months passed, he became more "busy" while stupid me was naive from all he had been doing. For a couple of months, I took more shifts at work where I worked six days a week for 9-10 hours a day. This was to sustain myself, weekly and monthly expenses, and his "tuition". Also within these times, I bought a new iPhone for him (forgot what model).
Fast forward to the 28th of April 2024 when I received a notification on Messenger in my message requests. It was a guy who confessed that he was my ex's boyfriend. Let's call him Guy A. He introduced himself as my ex's schoolmate and told me that my ex has been lying and cheating on me since our relationship started. At first, I was not convinced until he sent me photos of them together. I was shaking when I heard the news. From our conversation, I discovered numerous things that destroyed me: they started talking in early December of 2023, my ex claimed that I was already an ex (at that time) when in fact we were still together, my ex met with multiple guys while he was in a relationship with me and Guy A, Guy A forgave my ex three times for the three times he was caught cheating, and my ex has been studying in TUP-M the whole time. Mind you, I have been sending him the monthly tuition fee, thinking he was studying in Perp Biñan. Yes, he did not only cheat and lie but also used me. It was eight months in total that I have been sending him money for his "tuition" plus his other financial concerns. Yes, I only knew this on this date.
After talking to Guy A, I messaged one of his close friends in TUP-M and his classmate as well. I discovered that he lied about a baby picture of me that I left for him, which was always in the back of his ID or phone. My ex claimed that my photo was his sibling. My ex also told his friends that he was with his family when he went to Boracay when in fact it was just the two of us. I also discovered through this friend that my ex was also in a relationship with another guy who studies in DLSU-Dasma. Let's call him Guy B. My ex's friend/classmate also said that they support Guy A and my ex's mutual relationship, knowing that Guy B already introduced himself to them as his boyfriend. Seems off, right? From my perspective, it looked like they tolerated my ex's cheating... and maybe I was right. So I searched for Guy B's account and talked to him. He said that Guy B and my ex also started in December. This means that my ex had a thing with Guy A and B in the same month. Guy B claimed that they ended in February 2024 but officially in early March 2024. Yes, my ex and I were still together at this time while he's also together with Guy A. I also discovered that my ex and Guy B first met in Tagaytay... did he get déjà vu? Lmao.
Clearly from what I have learned, it was obvious that he used me for money. Yes, he used my money to go out and date with his men. At the end of the day, we were all just his victims.
Shortly after the news unfolded, my ex sent a paragraph of his apology. He only apologized because he got caught, not because of what he has done.
Through all that, I am, in fact, destroyed. I am traumatized. I am scarred for life. I knew for myself that I gave my all in our relationship. I will also admit that I was never a perfect boyfriend and it did cross my mind that I could have been and done better for him not to search my shortcomings on other men. However, the support I received made me realize that he cheated not because I was not enough but because he was never satisfied. I am slowly and gradually healing thanks to my supportive circle.

Since D day the following has occurred
1) Spouse tested for STI; all negative 2) I’ve been given full, unrestricted access to iPhone and iPad at moments notice a) I’ve fully exploited them, looking at all messages, deleted messages, apps, emails, also checked deleted apps. Checked all web history. Negative results 3) given usernames and passwords to all social media (see above) Negative results 4) access to personal bank account to see all transactions , no suspicious cash withdrawals or suspicious charges 5) I pay bills so I can see all credit card transactions, nothing suspicious 6) access to work computer, it’s monitored per policy,. Zero results 7) my individual therapy starts next week, so does hers 8) couple therapy to start soon 9) numerous 1 on 1 conversation discuss feelings and other stuff……. We’re good talks. She understands that trust has been broken, and it will take time for me to gain it back 10) she asked me on a date, we went out to a very nice dinner and had a really good time 11) spent day together working outside on the yard 12) i decided so far not to tell immediate family yet or friends. 13) I spent hours looking thru Verizon history reviewing all calls and text messages (not imessage) for last 3 months….. negative results. 14) she agrees our marriage is changed forever, but hope we can still be together. 15) she has taken full responsibility, and admitted guilt.
With all the exploiting, I found no other instances of cheating. I’m former counter-intel so I feel I’ve done my due diligence…..so far. I will not stop looking or being suspicious.
Based off my intel gathering, I currently believe currently this was a one time incident Until I discover more information, I will be cautiously optimistic, yet still suspicious
We are working on it, will it work out? Who knows, but we are both willing to try and make it work.
I’m sure there will be e negative comments……..but we both want to make it work.

I (M/44) was devastated by a divorce mid COVID. Total blindside after 15 years of marriage. I was intimate with my wife on a Thursday, and on Friday I was served papers by sheriff, thrown out of house by restraining order, accused of being an alcoholic, forced to test for alcohol and drugs in the state court system (passed all tests for 10 months with flying colors), court supervised time with my kids for those ten months… lost everything in the divorce except my house. Now back to having my kids 50% of the time.
A couple months into dealing with this, I met a girl (F/39). At first I thought it would just be a rebound, but she was different…We have an incredible amount in common. We both have family from the same part of our state, we both graduated from the same college five years apart, we are both singers and perform together all the time, we are both the glue that holds our friend group together (friends and relationships matter to us and we enjoy entertaining). We have been together for three years, we’ve lived together for two years, we both work out of the house everyday, and we are not sick of each other. She’s also stunningly gorgeous, rocking body, funny, smart, generous, and a constant sounding board and support system for me.
I was also laid off a year after I met her. She was nothing but supportive. I have three kids and she is an amazing parental figure to them, even though she has no kids and has never been married. They absolutely LOVE her. They look up to her as a parent and the model of a professional woman as she has a great job. She’s a natural with my three kids, and has expressed to me that she always wanted kids of her own but never found the right guy.
Speaking of finding the right guy… it’s not because she didn’t try…. A few weeks ago we were out with another couple. The three of them were drinking, I was stone cold sober (divorce legalese was reignited after my lay off and new job, and I can take zero chances), and the subject of body count came up. My count is 14, including her. My Dad always taught me that women are the keepers of the sex and the men are the contributors of the commitment, which eventually leads to sex. I’ve known guys that are in the 200s of women slept with, and I was never shy about calling them gross, so I don’t honor the double standard (applause for a man vs shame for a woman), that’s just not my speed. Anyway, we all answered, but she refused. A few days later, I brought it back up (wish I hadn’t) in the context of “if we’re discussing marriage, we need to be honest”.
I’m number 118. One Hundred and Eighteen.
She has it to the exact number because she kept a physical list (red flag?) and her childhood friends did the same (which she says she deleted after we were together because she knew I was the one). It’s like she thinks she’s Samantha from Sex and the City. She says the dating apps have changed the dating narrative since the iPhone came out in 2007 (the year I met my ex wife) and her being a young professional and living in a studio apartment in the city and going on lots of dates was just what people did. She agrees that her number is high, but she was always safe and tested, but obviously can’t change the past. She says she’s with me now, and that’s what matters and if I hadn’t been married for 15 years my number would be way higher and this would not be an issue.
I was absolutely traumatized. I still am. I’ve asked close confidants who I know in my professional life that will most surely never meet her, and most of them have said that’s definitely a high number, but it’s not off the charts. Two girls from that group who had similar similar situations with regard to living situation (alone and in the city), relationship status (single) and age were honest about their numbers and reported numbers of 50-60 and 70-80 partners respectively. They were both married at 36.
I know she is a little bit ashamed of this number because she was so tightlipped about it… she did not want to tell me. She also would be mortified if any of our family or friends found out (her mother and my parents specifically) and she has said that if it ever gets out she would never forgive me. So, clearly it’s a touchy subject.
The more I digest this, I feel four things:
1.) Heartbroken. For me and for her. She says she was looking for men to love her and for one to eventually become a husband and she thought dating (which apparently means sleeping with) lots of guys would accomplish that. She admits she has Daddy issues. I’ve met her Dad. He divorced her mother when she was five, and was cheating with the woman who is now her now stepmother. She had very little contact with him. The guy is just a cold dude. No other way to put it. She also had weight loss surgery in 2015, and she dropped 65 pounds. That made guys take notice, and it was like she was liberated.
2.) Personal Inadequacy. Definitely some of my own ego problems going on here… the ability to compete with her experience level and the sheer number of penises she’s seen and all the size differentials that comes with that. Some retroactive jealousy too, not because I wanted to live like that, but because she has 117 other dudes who had her. Like… that’s a crazy number, right?
3.) Fear of her bolting if/when our relationship gets hard. If she’s bedded that many dudes in the past what’s to stop it in the future? She SWEARS that with all of this dating and promiscuity, she has never ever once cheated on someone she was in an exclusive relationship with, however she has admitted that when a relationship ended, she would binge on guys for a few weeks (she threw out an example of 6 or 7 guys in a month after ending a relationship of six months).
4.) Just generally skeeved out. The reasons for this are the same as why I would never date a stripper. Is nothing sacred when it comes to her body and intimacy?
Am I just behind the times? Did we just live different lives? If I had found this out two months in, I probably would have bolted. If I had never known this, I would not have thought twice about putting a ring on it. Now, my head is telling me all the good things she’s done and how happy I am with her, but my heart is hurting and disappointed and telling me something else. I guess I just don’t know what that something else is.
I know that’s a lot, and I’m expecting some sarcastic comments, but hopeful to get some honest feedback here too.
Thanks very much.
TL;DR: 39F girl never married with no kids I’m dating has slept with 117 dudes before me. Other than this, she’s great and says I’m the one. I’m a mess. Any advice?

So, me 22M and my girlfriend 20F have been together for 2.5 years, and all has been good up until recently. She is dying to move out on our own, but i’m not financially ready and i’ve told her this multiple times. I support my 72y/o disabled aunt (who took the role of a mother from the time i was born, long story) with finances, and my gf has been starting arguments with my aunt saying i need to be free and on my own. Well, fast forward to this morning, my phone was updating so i used her phone to check the weather. Then, i couldnt help but notice that she had tinder installed on her phone. She got very defensive and claimed that I INSTALLED IT in order to start a fight with her. Never in my life have i even thought of doing something like that, i love her to death. I did some research to see if this has happened to anyone else, and i found that this has happened on android, but not on iPhone (she has an iPhone). What do you all think? is she attempting to cheat?

I know this is a common topic, but this is a bit more complicated.
I (44M) was devastated by a divorce mid COVID. Total blindside after 15 years of marriage and three kids. Served papers by sheriff, thrown out of house by restraining order, accused of being an alcoholic, forced to test for alcohol and drugs in the state court system (passed all tests for 10 months with flying colors), court supervised time with my kids for those ten months… lost everything in the divorce except my house. Now back to having my kids 50% of the time.
A couple months into dealing with this, I met a girl (39F). At first I thought it would just be a rebound like two other girls I briefly dated after the divorce, but she was different…We have an incredible amount in common. We both have family from the same part of our state, we both graduated from the same college five years apart, we are both singers and perform together all the time, we are both the glue that holds our friend group together (friends and relationships matter to us and we enjoy entertaining). We have lived together for two years, we both work out of the house everyday, and we are not sick of each other. She’s also stunningly gorgeous, rocking body, funny, smart, generous, and a constant sounding board and support system for me.
I was also laid off a year after I met her. She was nothing but supportive. I have three kids and she is an amazing parental figure to them, even though she has no kids and has never been married. They absolutely LOVE her. They look up to her as a parent and as a model of a professional woman (she has a great job). She’s a natural with my kids, and has expressed to me that she always wanted kids of her own, but never found the right guy.
Speaking of finding the right guy…. A few weeks ago we were out with another couple. The three of them were drinking, I was stone cold sober (divorce legalese was reignited after my lay off and new job, and I can take zero chances), and the subject of body count came up. My count is 14, including her…. 12 before my ex, and then her. My Dad always taught me that women are the keepers of the sex and the men are the contributors of the commitment, which eventually leads to sex. I’ve known guys that are in the 200s, and I was never shy about calling them man sluts, so I don’t honor the double standard (stud vs slut). Anyway, we all answered, but she refused. A few days later, I brought it back up (wish I hadn’t) in the context of “if we’re discussing marriage, we need to be honest”.
I’m number 118. One Hundred and Eighteen.
She kept a physical list, and her childhood friends did the same (which she says she deleted after we were together because she knew I was the one). It’s like she thinks she’s Samantha from Sex and the City. She says the dating apps have changed the dating narrative since the iPhone came out in 2007 (the year I met my ex wife) and her being a young professional and living in a studio apartment in the city and going on lots of dates was just what people did. She agrees that her number is high, but she was always safe and tested, but obviously can’t change the past. She says she’s with me now, and that’s what matters and if I hadn’t been married for 15 years my number would be way higher and this would not be an issue.
I was absolutely traumatized. I still am. I’ve asked close confidants who I know in my professional life (they will most surely never meet her) and most of them have said that’s a high number, but it’s not off the charts. Two close female friends in similar situations, relationship status, and age were honest about their numbers and each reported numbers of 40-50 and 70-80 partners respectively. They were both married at 36.
The more I digest this, I feel four things:
1.) Heartbroken. For me and for her. She says she was looking for men to love her and for one to eventually become a husband and she thought dating (which apparently means sleeping with) lots of guys would accomplish that. She admits she has Daddy issues. I’ve met her Dad. He divorced her mother when she was five, and was cheating with her now stepmother. The guy is just a cold dude. No other way to put it. She also had weight loss surgery in 2015, and she dropped 65-70 pounds. That made guys take notice, and it was like she was liberated.
2.) Inadequacy. Definitely some of my own ego problems going on here… the ability to compete with her experience level and the sheer number of penises she’s seen and all the size differentials that comes with that. Can I satisfy her? How do I stack up?
3.) Fear of her bolting if/when our relationship gets hard. If she’s bedded that many dudes in the past what’s to stop it in the future? She SWEARS that with all of this dating and promiscuity, she has never ever once cheated on someone she was in an exclusive relationship with, however she has admitted that when a relationship ended, she would binge on guys for a few weeks (as an example she threw out 6 or 7 guys in a month after ending a relationship of six months).
4.) Just generally skeeved out. The reasons for this are the same as why I would never date a stripper. Is nothing sacred when it comes to her body and intimacy?
Am I just behind the times? Did we just live different lives? If I had found this out two months in, I probably would have bolted. If I had never known this, I would not have thought twice about putting a ring on it. Now, my head is telling me all the good things she’s done and how happy I am with her and how much I love her….. but because I love her my heart is hurting and disappointed and telling me something else. I guess I just don’t know that that something else is.
I know that’s a lot, and I’m expecting some sarcastic comments, but hopeful to get some honest feedback here too.
Thanks very much.

Hello guys, this is my first post here and I just wanna share a huge dilemma I have.. I am in a relationship with my gf for 6 years. We started back in college where she was my senior and I was her junior. I recently joined in govt service and I have not received my salary for the past 2 months ( which happens in every govt job for the initial period) . I had taken Rs 37000 from my gf in various occasions before I got my job ( around 5 months back) . I promised her that I would give her when I get my first pay slip. So to the present day, she have been abusing me day and night asking for her money . I have given her 20 k by taking loans from various loan apps . But she want the full amount. I know it is my mistake but it is a verbal diarrhoea from her for the past 2 months. She says dating me was a mistake, I am a cheat, I am even a mistake for my parents, I am useless, 'not a man' and so on. I am in a precarious situation now. I don't know what to do now. I might get my salary in the coming 10 days but I am traumatized by her behaviour. Also our relationship was always toxic and I have hoped this phase will run over if I got settled and earn enough to have a say in the relationship. Side note : I have promised her a iPhone 15 pro and she bought it using my credit card for which I was supposed to pay the emi. Unfortunately I couldn't the past 2 months. Edit : for more context . I am clinically depressed and thats why I don’t have anyone to share this. Please see this as an rant .

What started as a panicked attempt to get her over-intoxicated friend to a hospital ended up in a disastrous car crash that claimed the lives of her friends... and a careless God crossing the street. But Sammi's adventure wasn't about to end there. In her dying breath, the God curses Sammi to take up her mantel. Now with her three friends resurrected as ghosts, Sammi has to navigate the tricky world of godhood.
Previous Chapter Next chapter coming soon!
Start here! Patreon (up to chapter 9)
Step zero was figuring out any fucking lead on Henry Miller. The only lead I had was that I’d told him to join a monastery, so my real step zero was to figure out if they even made monasteries anymore.
“I’m pretty sure those stopped being a thing at least a hundred years ago,” Joni said. “Monks with shaved heads and brown robes in stone castle buildings? How do you sell that to a modern guy?”
Her comments weren’t helpful, even if they were probably true. But right now she was all I had, since the other ghosts were still sleeping, as were Cara and Tina. I’d woken early from a nightmare about a car crash, and decided to get a jump on the research, so I’d look competent by the time the others woke up. Besides I couldn’t calm my brain and felt nauseous just lying down.
Joni had already been awake by the time I staggered out of my bedroom, cold and sweaty and shaking from the lingering mental images. I was so disoriented that if I was a cartoon character, I’d have a little halo of stars circling my head. Maybe a little halo of bloody and broken bodies would be more accurate, but that probably wouldn’t make it into a cartoon.
Regardless, my life wasn’t a cartoon, so instead of staggering around like Bugs Bunny drunk on carrot juice or something, I hurled up my dinner in the bathroom. Joni, who had been watching the sunrise, poked her head in and asked if I needed a distraction. It was probably the kindest thing she’d said since I killed her, and I also absolutely needed a distraction, so we’d jumped into googling monasteries on my phone.
“Stop scrolling through images,” Joni said. “You’re just getting pretty buildings. Try maps.”
“Good idea.” This was actually a lot like our old study sessions back in high school. Joni would tell me what to look up and I’d look it up, and then we’d get distracted both cracking jokes and making cynical comments about whatever we were looking up. It was kinda nice. Familiar.
“Oh shit,” Joni said as I pulled up the map's results. “Well I take it back then. Clearly there’s a monastery on every block.”
This was an exaggeration for sure, but there were at least three monasteries within a fifteen minute drive. “These are so boring too,” I said, flicking through some of the images associated with each result. “Like, I just figured there weren’t any close cause I’d never seen a castle near the city, but these are just… just brown buildings with crosses and stuff out front.”
“They look like middle schools.” Joni leaned in. “Sisters of Carmel? Is that real? Or is this just a nun themed candy shop?”
“Dude, I would fuck up a nun themed candy shop.” My stomach rumbled a bit, which was a bit ironic given it was only empty cause it had decided against storing last night’s dinner. “Little candy necklace rosary beads or whatever?”
She snorted harder than I’d expected. “Chocolate crosses. No, no, chocolate crucifixes.”
I wasn’t exactly sure the difference, but she seemed tickled by it. “Maybe they sell sodas that’s like holy water or something.”
This got even more laughter from Joni. “It’s not a deadly sin if you pay for your indulgences,” she said. “Those gross necco wafers that are, like, communion wafers.” At this point she’d kinda lost me.
“I forgot you grew up Christian,” I said. “Am I even gonna be allowed on the premises? Or is it a Christian only thing?”
“Hmm? Uh, yeah, they should let you in.” Joni wiped a tear away from her eyes. “Like… well, yeah, like I said, I didn’t even know monasteries still existed. It’s not like we did field trips at Sunday School. But like, just say you’re Catholic if they ask. They don’t exactly give you an ID or something when you’re baptized.”
“What if the holy water burns me?” I asked.
“That’s literally not a thing, Sammi. That’s just stupid TV stuff.” The snickers had subsided in her voice at this point, and she was fixing me with a sardonic eyebrow raise. “Like ninety percent of all that crap about demons was made up, and the other stuff was just superstition. Demons were, like, code for mental health issues or temptation or shit. They don’t exist.”
“Neither do ghosts.” I tapped the side of my head. “Actually wait, now that I think about it, I probably have more to worry about being a rival God than I do being non-Catholic. Like what if actual God God comes down and is pissed at me for trying to steal his converts?”
Joni got halfway through an eyeroll before stopping to maybe consider my point. “I’m… I actually… yeah, I don’t know. If we covered that, I slept through it. I mean, until like, a few days ago, I’d have pretty comfortably said I was an atheist. Now? Shit, man, if actual Catholic God exists, I know a lotta people who are gonna be pretty bummed.”
I went back to the results, flicking through and looking for the closest guy monastery. “I mean, but if there are multiple Gods, maybe they’ll be fine. Like sure Catholic God is gonna throw my parents into hell for cheating on each other, but maybe the God of… uh, I dunno, do you suppose the Greek Gods exist? They all fucked each other and shit. If Mom can make a case that she fucked her married manager out of love or something, maybe she can go to Mount Olympia.”
“God, I just had a thought.” Joni’s eyes had gone huge. “What if you’re the only God and all the other religions were just invented as schemes.”
This made me pause, very uncomfortable. I’d also been an atheist until about three days ago, but for some reason there being no Gods was more comforting than being the only God. Like boy would we be screwed if that was the case.
My stomach started twisting again, the same way it twisted when you got about a month into the school year and realized you’d forgotten an entire class. Was I supposed to be doing more than just a few odd schemes here and there? Was I supposed to be forging galaxies? Creating new life? Judging the dead? Were there just backlogs of dead people waiting for entrance to the afterlife while I tried to steal a couch?
“Well shit, Joni, you really harshed my mellow a bit.” My stomach was no longer craving candy. It was craving release.
“Huh?” She looked up from the phone, blinking at my grey face. “Why?”
“What if I was supposed to be doing more God stuff and it’s just all piling up?” I had started to sweat again, picturing a lengthy line of old ladies and grandpas and tragically young children standing impatiently while their grieving families blasted a cold, uncaring God with prayers.
“Jesus no.” Joni was so adamant that I felt better almost immediately. “The old God would have told you. Besides, you don’t have, like, any blinking ‘seven thousand unread messages’ tabs on your little Source thing, do you?”
I checked. I did not.
“See? You’re fine. Now pull up the webpage for the Little Brothers of Frances. They’re the closest to where the whole showdown with Noah happened, so if Henry blitzed straight to a monastery, he’s probably there.” She jabbed a finger through my phone screen.
The webpage was shockingly helpful. There were a buncha solemn quotes about giving unto the poor, and doing unto others, and prayer unto Jesus, and all kinds of untos, but there were also hours and locations listed, and even a sorta office hours thing with the monks. It seemed like it would almost be too easy to slide right in and ask about our violent town fence.
“Seems like the right place to look.” I grinned, saving the webpage and clicking my phone off. It was ten AM now, and the others would be waking soon. “I’m gonna make breakfast and then lay out the plan. Really impress them, you know?”
“All right, simmer down.” But Joni had a crooked smile on her face, and I could tell she was impressed with me. Maybe just a tiny bit, but impressed all the same.
–
It wasn’t always easy to tell what Tina thought of me. She felt bad for Cara, but I remained a mystery to her. I talked to thin air a bit, argued with thin air a lot, spent way too much time worrying about the police, occasionally expressed unprompted guilt about a college kid in a coma, and now had asked for a ride to a monastery.
“You said you’re looking for someone,” she asked for the third time as we pulled into the parking lot. “This got anything to do with that shooting you keep saying you’re not involved with?”
“Let me handle this,” I said, “and promise, I’ll let you know the full story when we get back tonight.” It was probably time she learned. She’d stuck through us for a decent amount of shenanigans and it seemed like her tolerance for bullshit was high. If she learned her new, definitely slightly wanted employer was also a God, she’d probably just sigh it off and pour herself a drink.
Tina’s eyebrows jumped at this. “Well okay then. Sure. Where do you want me to keep the car?”
“Uhh, anywhere is fine. I don’t see this going tits up.” Then I reconsidered. “Okay, maybe stay nearby, with the engine running.”
If Henry Miller was here, then we might need to get out quick. Who knew? Technically step 2 was just to get info (step 1 was getting here, we already did that) about Henry’s whereabouts. Maybe we could get as far as step 3, bring him in, but that was a real stretch goal. We’d think about that once we found him.
“Ah. So it’s probably gonna be fine, but keep the engine running.” Tina ran her fingers through the puff of hair at the end of her braid. “No chance I get shot here, right?”
“None at all.” God, how wild would it be if Henry had another gun on him. “Henry’s a pacifist.”
“Isn’t he the one that shot the kid?”
“A newly minted pacifist,” I corrected.
She sighed, but pulled the car to a stop in a spot near the building. “Whatever. Just don’t need to be getting shot is all.”
As my neon blue car came to a stop, I swung the door open and ushered for the ghosts to join me. Then I tossed a salute to Tina before turning towards the unassuming brown building. It was nice. Like it was. A bit of a mix between a school and senior living facility, but it had a nice lil winding pathway covered in autumn leaves and stuff. Some overgrown bushes encroached on the sidewalk a bit. Down the path to the left I could see a younger dude in a grey robe raking the path. He did have all his hair, so they clearly weren’t doing the shaved patch in the middle bit anymore, but it was a pretty neat looking getup. He even had a rope around the waist.
“He’s cute,” Blair said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
“He’s also a monk,” Joni said. “You know? Dedicated to God and all.”
“Plus he’s alive, and you’re not,” Christopher added.
Blair’s lip jutted in a pout. “I was just pointing out. Why you guys gotta remind me I can never fall in love again.” She flopped on her back, hair hanging down as I walked towards the building.
“Remember,” I said, whispering as we approached the door. “No powers. None. Zilch. Even I’m gonna be on my best behavior. We don’t need Capital G up there to notice us and bring down the lightning bolts.”
“That was Zeus,” Joni said. “This guy’s more about burning bushes or raining frogs”
Had I misremembered? Our high school hadn’t really had a class on world religions. Or if we did, I didn’t remember. “That doesn’t sound so bad,” I said. Then I grinned. “This place could probably use some bush burning. Maybe we oughta call down some plagues.”
Joni zapped me with a look strong enough to be lightning. “This is the guy that flooded the entire Earth. You wanna be responsible for Noah’s Arc 2.0?”
Right. I did know that one. I put up my hands. “Hey, I’m the one advocating for no powers. Sheesh.” With this, I turned back towards the entrance and opened the glass doors to find two concerned looking monks just on the other side.
“Good morning, ma’am,” the older one said, a bit slowly, eying the area to my left, where Joni was glaring accusatorially at me. I still had my hands up defensively.
“Ah.” I wedged myself in the threshold before gesturing at my airpods. “Sorry, just ending a phone call with my mother about, uh, forest fires.” I made an exaggerated tap on my left ear. “Call ended!”
The monk nodded, his unease diminished. “Of course. We thank you for finishing your call before entering. This is God’s house, after all.”
The younger one, a middle aged man with a smooth face, nodded his head at me. “Are you here to worship or is there something else we can assist you with?”
Thank God they were here to help. “Yeah, actually. I saw online there were some office hours things? Like, monk FAQs. Uh, there was a word for it, something where you sit with one of the brothers and ask them questions.”
“Counseling,” the younger one said. “Of course. Come this way.”
For a moment, I hesitated, one foot hovering over the threshold to the monastery. This would be fine. It would be fine.
“You just gotta go, Sammi,” Christopher said. “One step at a time. Just like a swimming pool.”
Just like a swimming pool. Right. I pushed myself forward and stepped into the building.
Just a newfound god wandering around a monastery. I might be a little nervous if I was Sammi too.
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Hello hello, I’m in a bit of a pickle and I don’t know how to properly articulate my words without crying (which will happen no matter what) or being ‘childish’ so I need your advice, dear reader.
This current situation starts with me wanting to have a pool party for my birthday (June 15) and me asking my dad if I could have it at his new house, with an in ground pool and hot tub, and him telling me I should work on building my relationship back with my step mom. This occurred months ago (feb or mar) and I had a singular conversation with her over text. For this, we will need to take a trip down memory lane all the way to a small town called 2013 when they got married.
If I’m being honest, I never wanted my dad to get remarried after my parents (38F) (48M) split up when I was 5. Change was bad in my brain and to this day, it still low key is. I wasn’t very welcoming as a 7 year old and the wedding happening a week after my 8th birthday probably didn’t help much either but oh well. That year, I moved in with her and my dad. That year, I learned the feeling of coming in second place. From then until the end of 2019, I thought my father loved her more. She would argue with me and curse at me when he wasn’t home sometimes and isolated me from my mom during the week to the point where my mom got me an iPhone 5c when I was 9 years old just so she would be able to call me. It didn’t take long for SM to take that 500$ (at the time) phone away as a punishment I long forgot and refuse to give it back to the woman who literally bought it. Mother wasn’t pleased in the slightest. SM also used to threaten to drive me out in the middle of no where and leave me there (which scared me bad back then). She also came up with horrible lies about my mom to make me think differently about her and I’m ashamed to say that it worked. Here are just a couple:
“Your parents divorced because your mom cheated on your dad with five different men.” “When your mom was 16, she got pregnant with a white mans baby and miscarried at four months.” (Physically impossible because my mom came to the US when she was 16 and 8 months old) “Your mom almost gave up her parental rights in 2013 which is why you moved in with us.”
I never fact checked that last one but considering the fact that my mom bawled her eyes out the first time she had to leave me at home just to go to the store when I was a baby, I doubt she would ever want to give me up. She was not happy when I told her about SM referring to me as “ her daughter” in social situations when I told her.
In October 2019, I was sent to live with my mom because of some “issues” going on between SM and father, which I later found out. Living with my mom again, although it now not being just the two of us (I now had a stepdad, a (now 5) half sibling and two step brothers) I was much happier there. SD was never mean to me in my years of knowing him. Blah blah blah, father and SM divorced in FEB 2020. Being with just my dad was great! He even offered to get me therapy (I still haven’t gotten) and I had a bedroom that wasn’t an office. But then, lockdown happened. They started seeing each other again. My dad spent less time with me. I accidentally broke a TV o had been nagging him to mount. Our man cave was ruined. April 13, 2020 was the last day I lived with him. I was only supposed to be at my mom’s for two weeks but it somehow turned into four years (oops). End of memory lane tour. Let’s go back to the present: 6/6/24!
I’m on the phone with my dad as I’m on the access bus (I have a disability) going from my PoE to my cities airport. I’m chatting with my dad about birthday things when I ask if I could have my 3 friends over to play in the pool and sleepover (my mom won’t allow it because one of them is a ‘guy’) and he brings up “building your relationship back with SM” and “how you two not putting any effort into rebuilding the relationship effects me emotionally, because my 2 favorite people in the world are at odds and I’m a family oriented person and this hurts me too (he has 5 other siblings spread out between Southern Africa and the UK).” (Not verbatim, my memory is foggy from four hours ago sadly.) I brought up that it’s not just up to me to ‘fix things’ and I would be more willing to building something if u got an apology. Yes, dear reader, in 4 years I never got an apology. He said that she did offensive things but I ALSO may have done offense things and basically made it out (in my eyes) that I should be the bigger person and come to her with what I want to be apologized to for. Maybe I just don’t understand, maybe I’m just a kid and a little slow but shouldn’t the adult in the situation recognize that lying to a kid about her mother cheating and wanting to abandon her is may just a little bit… wrong? If she hasn’t recognized in all these years how bad that is, what’s the point anymore? Please help me plot my next course of action. Thank you in advance <3 (and sorry that this is 90% context from my childhood. I’m a yapper.)

Tired of being judged on your profile pic?
I was also quite surprised when I noticed that Tinder was zooming in on the pictures that I uploaded.
This made me wonder which photo editing style I should have used to improve my profile photo.
Probably you know this too, especially if you’ve been using Tinder for a while. This article will explain why it happens and how to get around it.
Table of Contents
What Is Tinder Pictures Zooming?
Tinder-zoom, also known as picture zooming, is a feature that magnifies a user’s uploaded Tinder photo. It helps people get a better look at potential matches from different angles. This feature was developed by Tinder, who holds the patent for it (sorry but you can’t use it for your multi-million app idea)
In short, it will make you look better so that you can become more attractive to your ideal matches.
Many online dating apps have praised this tech also in 2023. They use it to enhance physical attributes and analyze facial expressions. It can also help apps distinguish between adults and minors without access to personal information.
If you ever come across an online service that offers this enhanced viewing experience, it’s likely using this technology. Yep, you can’t escape it my friend.
Why Does Tinder Zoom In On Pictures?
Tinder pays close attention to the photo. It zooms in to give users a closer look at their potential matches and to make sure the images are good quality. When you upload photos, Tinder wants to be sure you are seeing the real deal.
I know you might not like this but, thinking in reverse, you’ll also be able to better see women’s pictures. Not bad if you’re very attentive to details.
Zooming in when using Tinder provides more detail than viewing the photo from far away. Full body or headshots provide more info than just cropped versions. This enables users to know if they are interested without asking questions.
What Does Vibe Mean On Tinder
Plus, zooming in ensures users’ photos are current and true representations. Past dating apps were known for old or doctored images, but zooming in eliminates false advertising. People can be sure their matches won’t look different in real life.
This will ultimately improve your Tinder profile and make you experience more success on Tinder.
This means less image-cheating and preventing to look better that one actually does. In my opinion that’s awesome as the apps will make people’s experiences better.
Tinder’s goal is to connect people who wouldn’t meet otherwise. Zooming in on pictures enables both parties to get a better understanding of the other before deciding to meet up for a drink.
After all, would you be happy to invest your time on meeting a woman you don’t actually like? I don’t think so.
How Does Tinder Zoom In On Pictures?
When you zoom in on pics, Tinder shows you an accurate image of someone up close. That’s why if the picture you upload on the platform is not high quality, you might even see a pixel of it.
When I use my iPhone to upload pictures it sometimes happens. However this motivates me to shoot better photos so that they’re the best and not blurry at all.
When a pic is uploaded, it goes automatically through an algorithm. This decides where to crop it for the best view. The algorithm looks at size, resolution, facial features and body type. So, Tinder ensures its users recognize their potential match when scrolling through profiles.
Tinder also considers external factors like age range, hobbies and interests. This way, you have a clearer image of someone before deciding to swipe left or right.
Benefits of Picture Zooming
Tinder has come a long way since 2012, with Super Likes, Moments and Smart Photos. One of its main features is the ability to zoom in on photos. This is to get a closer look at potential matches and to stay safe online.
The zoom feature helps make sure users are showing their real selves. It’s also an important safety measure for Tinder and other online dating sites. People can get to know each other better before meeting in person.
Plus, photo zooming provides feedback. After someone zooms in, Tinder will ask if the photos were accurate. This feedback helps decide which photos appear at the top more often. And it can boost profiles with better pictures.
Challenges of Picture Zooming
Zooming in on a Tinder pic has its drawbacks. Picture quality can take a hit. It’s tough to know what someone looks like when their photo is enlarged. Plus, facial features can be distorted or misleading. Distraction backgrounds can appear, and people may judge profiles based on this unfair image.
Tinder Boost Vs Super Boost
This way, the images are presented accurately and in their intended context, without sacrificing quality or selectively revealing details. That’s why it’s essential that you upload awesome pictures in your Tinder profile with the right ratio.
Contacting a professional photographer will ensure you get beautiful photos with good image quality.
Conclusion
So, Tinder’s zoom feature is created to make it simpler for users to analyze potential matches. It uses facial recognition algos and AI to zoom and frame photos well. This makes the user experience better and increases the chances of finding a partner.
If you want a good display of your picture with the right aspect ratio, you might want to study the best format that works for tinder. That’s the best solution and tip I can personally give you for the photos you upload.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why does Tinder zoom in on pictures?
A: Tinder zooms in on pictures to showcase faces more prominently and to help users make more informed swipe decisions about potential matches.
Q: Can I prevent Tinder from zooming in on my pictures?
A: No, Tinder automatically zooms on the pictures taken.
Q: Does Tinder only zoom in on certain types of pictures?
A: No, Tinder’s zooming feature works on all pictures, regardless of their content, Tinder image size or composition.
Q: How does Tinder decide which part of the picture to zoom in on?
A: Tinder’s algorithm analyzes each picture to determine the area with the most prominent faces, and zooms in on that area.
Q: Does Tinder zoom in on pictures for all users?
A: Yes, Tinder’s zooming feature is a universal feature that applies to all users on the app.
Q: Can I edit the zoomed-in portion of my picture on Tinder?
A: No, editing the zoomed-in portion of your picture is not possible on Tinder. You’ll need to delete the picture and add a new one instead.

I know this is a common topic, but this is a bit more complicated.
I (44M) was devastated by a divorce mid COVID. Total blindside after 15 years of marriage and three kids. Served papers by sheriff, thrown out of house by restraining order, accused of being an alcoholic, forced to test for alcohol and drugs in the state court system (passed all tests for 10 months with flying colors), court supervised time with my kids for those ten months… lost everything in the divorce except my house. Now back to having my kids 50% of the time.
A couple months into dealing with this, I met a girl (39F). At first I thought it would just be a rebound like two other girls I briefly dated after the divorce, but she was different…We have an incredible amount in common. We both have family from the same part of our state, we both graduated from the same college five years apart, we are both singers and perform together all the time, we are both the glue that holds our friend group together (friends and relationships matter to us and we enjoy entertaining). We have lived together for two years, we both work out of the house everyday, and we are not sick of each other. She’s also stunningly gorgeous, rocking body, funny, smart, generous, and a constant sounding board and support system for me.
I was also laid off a year after I met her. She was nothing but supportive. I have three kids and she is an amazing parental figure to them, even though she has no kids and has never been married. They absolutely LOVE her. They look up to her as a parent and as a model of a professional woman (she has a great job). She’s a natural with my kids, and has expressed to me that she always wanted kids of her own, but never found the right guy.
Speaking of finding the right guy…. A few weeks ago we were out with another couple. The three of them were drinking, I was stone cold sober (divorce legalese was reignited after my lay off and new job, and I can take zero chances), and the subject of body count came up. My count is 14, including her…. 12 before my ex, and then her. My Dad always taught me that women are the keepers of the sex and the men are the contributors of the commitment, which eventually leads to sex. I’ve known guys that are in the 200s, and I was never shy about calling them man sluts, so I don’t honor the double standard (stud vs slut). Anyway, we all answered, but she refused. A few days later, I brought it back up (wish I hadn’t) in the context of “if we’re discussing marriage, we need to be honest”.
I’m number 118. One Hundred and Eighteen.
She kept a physical list, and her childhood friends did the same (which she says she deleted after we were together because she knew I was the one). It’s like she thinks she’s Samantha from Sex and the City. She says the dating apps have changed the dating narrative since the iPhone came out in 2007 (the year I met my ex wife) and her being a young professional and living in a studio apartment in the city and going on lots of dates was just what people did. She agrees that her number is high, but she was always safe and tested, but obviously can’t change the past. She says she’s with me now, and that’s what matters and if I hadn’t been married for 15 years my number would be way higher and this would not be an issue.
I was absolutely traumatized. I still am. I’ve asked close confidants who I know in my professional life (they will most surely never meet her) and most of them have said that’s a high number, but it’s not off the charts. Two close female friends in similar situations, relationship status, and age were honest about their numbers and each reported numbers of 40-50 and 70-80 partners respectively. They were both married at 36.
The more I digest this, I feel four things:
1.) Heartbroken. For me and for her. She says she was looking for men to love her and for one to eventually become a husband and she thought dating (which apparently means sleeping with) lots of guys would accomplish that. She admits she has Daddy issues. I’ve met her Dad. He divorced her mother when she was five, and was cheating with her now stepmother. The guy is just a cold dude. No other way to put it. She also had weight loss surgery in 2015, and she dropped 65-70 pounds. That made guys take notice, and it was like she was liberated.
2.) Inadequacy. Definitely some of my own ego problems going on here… the ability to compete with her experience level and the sheer number of penises she’s seen and all the size differentials that comes with that. Can I satisfy her? How do I stack up?
3.) Fear of her bolting if/when our relationship gets hard. If she’s bedded that many dudes in the past what’s to stop it in the future? She SWEARS that with all of this dating and promiscuity, she has never ever once cheated on someone she was in an exclusive relationship with, however she has admitted that when a relationship ended, she would binge on guys for a few weeks (as an example she threw out 6 or 7 guys in a month after ending a relationship of six months).
4.) Just generally skeeved out. The reasons for this are the same as why I would never date a stripper. Is nothing sacred when it comes to her body and intimacy?
Am I just behind the times? Did we just live different lives? If I had found this out two months in, I probably would have bolted. If I had never known this, I would not have thought twice about putting a ring on it. Now, my head is telling me all the good things she’s done and how happy I am with her and how much I love her….. but because I love her my heart is hurting and disappointed and telling me something else. I guess I just don’t know what that something else is.
I know that’s a lot, and I’m expecting some sarcastic comments, but hopeful to get some honest feedback here too.
Thanks very much.

Yesterday i came home from hanging out with my bf and my mom was asking me to give me my phone so she can give it to my brother (small back story as to why, my aunt had recently got me my phone about a month ago after not having a phone for almost 2 years and for like 3 months my brothers phone works the only problem is that when he makes phone calls people cant hear him but he can hear them) and i felt a way about it because 1, me and him talk or have no relationship 2, my dad says the house is a mess because of me but i always clean up and my brother is so lazy hes doing well in school but all he does is play games and eat and hates cleaning and as soon as i clean the kitchen he messes it up and goes to sleep while my mom wakes me up out my sleep to clean up after him and 3, as i mentioned before all he dose is play games which can lag or slow down my phone, i also felt like it was unfair because i haven't had a phone for so long and i had no entertainment plus my mom didnt let me outside and i live in a small apartment which is 2 bed rooms and i shear a room with both my brothers and younger sister and theirs no space in there because my mom also keeps all her stuff in there all i do is lay in bed watching YouTube on my school computer and think about things . So when said told me to give him my phone that all i thought about and i got very overwhelmed and i was trying to find ways for her to not take it and she took it by force and i did cry in her face and told her how i felt about everything than she started yelling at me and minupultiing me calling me selfish after i told her everything and she started saying if i never got the phone than what and than she was threnething me and saying she was going to hurt me and cusing me out in twi (our laungeg because were from ghana) and than she broung up how i had another iphone which my god mother got for my other brother on his 16th birthday and she gave it to me and i broke it(the story behinde that my brother does not like iphones so he didnt mind me having it and my mom knew i wanted it and i didnt have a phone, when my god mother shipped the phone and it arived my mom thought it was going to be the iphine 11 plus so she can keep that to her self and give me her old phone (iphone 10) but since it was the iphine 11 and it was smaller than her phone she just gave it to me) than i broke it after 2 months to water damage and it still worked fine just a small corner of the screen had water in it covering it, and she told me to give her 400 dollars for that phone or else she wont give me my phone back and she kept thretnneing to break my phone in my face and she was bending it in my face while still thenrthing and cursing me out andd than i just wnet to my room balling my eyes out and she started yelling about how its my fault my dad doesnt care about her and cheats on her. On top of that she put my brothers sim card into my phone and my phone was sitting on the table doing nothing and my brother still had his phone and his iPad with him enjoying it in my dads room and i asked her if i can still use my phone and when he needs it i give it to him and she said for what and i said because i have nothing else to do and she said no leave it on the table and get out her face, im just wondering why she didnt take my brothers phone but was keeping mine hostage if he was only supposed to be using to to call her when he gets school and out of school. She did say that when she gets a job and money shell buy him a new phone and i can have mine back but for almost a whole years shes been saying that shell buy me a phone and never did till my aunt got me my phone and plus my mom was working at the time which also lead me to believe i was probably never gonna get my phone back. I need my phone for my personal stuff im going to collage in the fall and my brother will be starting high school in the fall, she did mention that he would need my phone for that but so did i, i also forgot to mention how i had a cheep android phone i think my mom did a servery for and ive been using that because that in service but it hardly works and lags and freezes up and has very low storage which i cant use for much.

Tl;DR: My boyfriend hacks into my accounts and devices to snoop on me and i need advice on how to react here.
I (22F) have been walking on eggshells thanks to my beloved boyfriend (22M). I swear I cant keep any devices within reach of him because all he does is snoop. Granted ive made some mistakes in our relationship that could make him less trustworthy in me, but I never cheated, nor do I have any of the apps he was so infatuated in getting into. Now it has escalated to a point that I had to take my charger to work today because he was trying to unlock my old iphone with linux operating systems. I have had enough with this shit. Ive even told him that if its a trust thing and he cant trust me anymore that he needs to break up with me, yanno since a relationship is built on trust. The fact that he is willing to commit a felony to get any and all information that doesn't pertain him regarding me, is a huge fuckin problem. I don't know what to do because I really love him, but this is getting to be way too much for me to fucking handle. Im sick and tired of always feeling like no matter how i show i love him, no matter how many times i tell him how stressed this makes me, that it will never be enough. Think about this: I rented a car, and DROVE (not flew, DROVE) 300 miles to help him pack his stuff, and move down to me. FIVE. HOURS. And yet, I still have to prove my worthiness, when im the one doing fucking everything. I work, I cook, he cleans which is fine, I pay the bills, I moved him down here, I stopped doing drugs, I stopped drinking, I have attempted to stop vaping for him. I deleted almost all social media aside from this and insta. and that still isnt fucking enough??? He STILL feels the need to go through my old phone? idk. i just need some advice. What should I do?

I have a theory that bans come from a combination of Niantic detecting your 3rd party apps and once flagged, they start gathering evidence on blatant cheating behaviour, aka impossible distance jumps. If you simply use the official app but spoof your location, the 2 hour cool down might be enough but when you’re already flagged you need to take extra precaution.
Why do I know this? I’ve created a lot of accounts to test this, using both iOS and Android but I’ve never rooted/jailbroken. I’ve side loaded iPogo using Signalous and have always gotten a ban within 24 hours on iPhone, no matter how much or little I spoofed. I think they are accurately able to detect side loaded third party apps on iPhone and the extent of cheating.
However using PGsharp on android, bans do come but much slower, some accounts get banned within a few weeks, others still going. I’m sure they are able to know you are using a third party app but they don’t ban you straight away because they aren’t able to detect the extent of your cheating in the modded app, and they put you on a flagged watch list for behaviour.
Some apps out there don’t spoof your location and just assist your throws and help automate things and Niantic doesn’t seem to crack down as long as you aren’t location spoofing.
TLDR, Using modded apps on android puts you on a flagged list where your actions are extra scrutinised. When you hit a certain benchmark of impossible actions, you are banned. Sideloading modded apps on iPhone gets you banned instantly within a few hours.

Hey all, I decided to cancel this week's single video review since Witty_Pop is already reviewing six videos this week. Reviews are fun and all, but I don't want this sub to be oversaturated with them. So for this week, I decided I will write a satire video that combines a bunch of tropes into one. I've seen a lot of posts here lately asking what a video where Jay and Mikey run away from their homes would be like. So I am making that the basis for this piece.
The video starts at Mikey's house where he has to go to school for a test. Mikey doesn't want to go at first, but Fart Bucket tells him if he gets an A, she'll buy him a PS5, so he agrees to go. Mikey meets Jay at school, who said his mom told him the same thing Fart Bucket told Mikey about passing the test. So of course, they decide to cheat, while Noah tells them what happens in the dark always comes to light. They tell Noah to shut up and cheat themselves. Mikey finds an answer key on the teacher's desk and steals it so he and Jay can use it to cheat. The next day, the class gets their tests back and Mikey and Jay both got zeroes. Turns out, the answer key was outdated and had the order of the answers mixed up. The teacher knows Mikey and Jay cheated and sends them to the principal's office. The principal suspends them for a week, then Fart Bucket and Kidnapper tell them they are grounded for three months. No video games, no hanging out with each other or Noah, no pizza, no fun at all for three straight months. Mikey and Jay go back and forth with their moms before they say they are running away. Fart Bucket and Kidnapper think they are bluffing, until the next morning when both of them are missing from their homes.
Mikey and Jay, having now run away from their psychotic parents, put themselves in a foster home and meets their foster parents and siblings. They love their new foster home as their foster parents let them do whatever they want. Cue a music montage of them playing video games, ordering pizzas, hanging out with each other, and even inviting Noah over. Post montage, Noah tells Jay and Mikey they need to go back to their moms because the grass isn't greener on the other side, but Jay and Mikey say they like living with minimal rules. After a while, the foster parents tell Jay and Mikey they got them tickets to a Dhar Mann meet & greet. Jay and Mikey, remembering they had to break out of juvie for the last one, are ESTATIC they get to meet their idol Dhar Mann. They get to the meet and greet, only to be stopped at security because they're tickets are fake. Turns out, the foster parents got scammed. The security guard calls two police officers over who arrest Jay and Mikey, telling them it's a federal crime to purchase fake tickets to a real event.
Jay and Mikey are now in jail and didn't get to meet Dhar Mann. They're like "I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK!!!". Then Fart Bucket and Kidnapper show up to bail them out, admitting that they found out where Jay and Mikey ran away to via Find My iPhone and sold the foster parents the fake tickets knowing Jay and Mikey couldn't resist. Jay and Mikey apologize and admit the grass isn't always greener on the other side and rules are important, all the while Fart Bucket and Kidnapper did nothing to change their parenting. Jay and Mikey are still grounded for cheating and running away, and Fart Bucket and Kidnapper tell them they actually bought two real tickets to the Dhar Mann meet and greet, and were going to surprise them had they not cheated on their last test. The parents use the tickets for themselves and even bought an extra ticket for Noah, and Jay and Mikey are SO upset that their parents get to meet Dhar Mann and they don't. And the video ends there.
Tropes used:

• Punished harshly for cheating on a test
  
• If you did the right thing, you would've gotten ______
  
• Ego Stroke
  
• Federal Crime
  
• Karma Houdinis(Kathy and Regina get away with scamming the foster parents)
  
• Message of the video repeated multiple times
  
• Shitty Music Montage
  
• It was a setup
  

Alchemy doesn’t only involve actual steps to manipulate matters, it actually started as an ancient branch of natural philosophy, which encompasses the modern equivalent of natural sciences, astronomy, chemistry, physics, medicine, biology and philosophy. It’s quantitative as well as qualitative approach was what eventually helped it develop into modern science. As such it is closely intertwined with lots of theories from different branches. Some major ones that might be relevant to Taylor’s symbolisms are astrology, cosmology and studies of elements. They each bring in interesting symbolisms. I thought I’d compile some of them for reference, and we can see if any might have already been used, then have them in the back of our minds so we can recognize them if they come up later in her works. But that’s now in part 4 bc I got sucked into the history of alchemy oops.
Brief History And Comments
The history of alchemy actually might also be relevant to Taylor’s use of symbolisms. That or I’m losing it.
There are three major strands of alchemy that appear to have independently arose in three parts of the world. Chinese alchemy, Indian alchemy and Western alchemy. Many Indian alchemy materials and practices were later assimilated in Persian texts by Muslim scholars. Chinese alchemy wasn’t introduced to the west officially until 19th century…which was also what sparked Jung to look into alchemy. But of course it is debatable how much they influenced each other throughout history, as concepts often traveled through these regions via trade routes.
Chinese alchemy was tied closely with Taoism. What most westerners know as yin and yang stems from Taoism. It’s a whole philosophical-religious complex branching into multiple disciplines, not unlike Ancient Greek philosophy. There was a post on here not long ago that I’ve saved but haven’t gone through yet (damn I really want to), which seemed to have connected some of Taylor’s symbolisms to the concept. Not having read it yet I can only say I do see that possibility, starting from when koi fish started to appear in her art. I remember thinking huh that’s distinctly eastern, is she branching out to eastern symbolisms? India was mentioned in seven, and I remember wondering if the ancient practice over there—of revering people with qualities of both ends of the gender spectrum—was somehow relevant. With the entrance of alchemy into Taylore, perhaps we can start trying to find connections there. Indian alchemy is tied closely to the Dharmic faiths, which I know nothing about. Maybe someone can chip in.
Western alchemy started around the Mediterranean and shifted its center from Greco-Roman Egypt to the Islamic world, then finally medieval Europe. Right from the start it had deep roots in Ancient Greek philosophy, originated by Empedocles and developed by Aristotle. (Wow maybe our girl really does know her Aristotle.) Notably it ran parallel with western religions, its philosophical system influenced by but mostly independent from them. So it’s something out of the scope of religion and its practice at times were forbidden by the church, persecuted as heresy. How familiar. Moreover, most Greco-Roman alchemists used pseudonyms; then when it got to medieval Europe via translations from Arabic texts, eventually developing into a structured belief, alchemists had developed a strong tradition of cloaking their works with elaborate codes and jargon, creating labyrinths and laying traps to mislead the uninitiated.
This sounds exactly like how queers through history learned to incorporate elaborate codes and references into their works, misguiding straights and hiding in plain sight. This is exactly what the whole tortured poets department have been doing, what Taylor is doing now. Western alchemy’s history seems like a whole analogy of queer history and queercoding.
(Also note: As early as 3rd century Egyptian alchemy writings had recipes on dyeing and making gemstones, cleaning and fabricating pearls, and manufacturing imitation gold and silver. This could be nothing but it reminds me of the gemstones in Bejeweled and the rising pearls in Karma mv.)
Medieval European alchemists believed in Hermetic theories of macrocosm-microcosm—that forces/principles governing the whole universe also govern individuals (“as above, so below”), which means they believed the process used on substances can also be used on the human body, tying alchemy completely with spiritual processes. This explains why the concept of alchemy was inseparable from spirituality in my earlier research, and why Taylor might use it as a symbolism for her personal journey. By 14th century alchemy had become more commonly accessible, and the discourse shifted to comments on the practitioners themselves. They were painted as thieves and liars. Okay, now feeling personally attacked. This is rather like queers in history being widely condemned, and like how once Gaylorism became more known it immediately invited ridicule and condemnation on gaylors. Taylor herself often uses thieves, robbers, cheat, liar, etc to describe her queer self. Note though that these criticisms centered around the pseudo-alchemical frauds and not alchemy itself, but the parallels are still there. Especially in relation to the act of same-sex relations and overt display of homosexuality being persecuted, but not the mere existence of unconventional sexual orientations.
Eventually translations back to medieval Europe brought back the mystical parts of alchemy from Greco-Roman alchemy, and an esoteric system was developed, fusing back in magic, astrology, and mystical Christianity. All the while pseudo-alchemical fraud kept going on, so many alchemists were still called charlatans. Modern science developed at the same time, with many alchemists also being scientific researchers. With the mature of modern science, alchemy itself came to be seen as a complete fraud, until the 19th century where it became mainstream to interpret texts in a totally esoteric, spiritual sense. Jung repopularized it by interpreting it as a symbolic process of coming into wholeness as a human being, so now the concept is tied closely with psychology.
Got it, so in one parallel, queer art largely flew under the radar until it slowly became more known at some point, inviting harsh criticisms, and then in the US it built to a point where the Hays Code had to be introduced, prohibiting queer portrayal. It wasn’t until outside influence from television, foreign films, artists continually pushing boundaries and eventually court intervention that it weakened; and queer art slowly became somewhat acceptable in the mainstream. Even then it often had to be hidden under queer codes to be accepted. In another parallel, it seems there are cycles throughout history across cultures, where homosexuality and queerness itself becomes the enemy as queers become more widely visible and as conservatism rises to prominence, rendering queer art unacceptable unless the artists’ works are not interpreted literally and the queer undertones ignored. It’s fine if it’s all a giant metaphor and not literal. Then they fly under the radar for a period of time, then rinse and repeat. Cool.
Another connection here is that, you’ll notice alchemy arose in multiple places and cultures independently, almost as if it’s a universal thing that will arise in any human society regardless of circumstances. Queerness is like that too I’d say. It is a normal and quintessential part of humanity that will arise in any human society, across any division humans can think of to distinguish themselves from other groups—be it gender, culture, religion, nation, age, race, profession…anything. No matter how you group humans, queerness always arises within the group; and that queerness always binds those people together, across any differences. Queer people all over the world strive for the same thing—to freely be. Just as alchemists all over the world strove for the same ultimate goal, no matter how much they had to hide their works in codes to communicate with each other, how much their reputations suffered, and how much they were persecuted.
All of this to say, alchemy is quite a perfect analogy for queerness. And as she said, who are we to fight the alchemy?

WARNING: This whole thread is a SPOILER for the first movie. If you haven't seen it and don't want the twist at the end spoiled, do not proceed.

Respect Leena Klammer, aka Esther

"I have a special surprise for you, Mommy!"

Leena Klammer is an Estonian con-artist and serial killer that was born with hypopituitarism which causes proportional dwarfism. Her M.O. is impersonating a child to worm her way into adoptive families so she could rob them and leave, but occasionally ends up killing them after failing to seduce the father. Her crimes brought her to the Saarne Institute which she eventually escaped and fled to America under the guise of a Russian orphan named Esther.
Cunning, devious and malicious, Esther knows how to quickly win of the hearts of families while tearing them apart from within.

Sources

• Orphan (2009)
• Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Disguise

• Always wears ribbons on her neck and wrists to conceal the scars from thrashing around in her straightjacket.
• Always wears old fashion dresses and bindings to hide her womanly curves.
• Uses makeup and false teeth to cover her adult visage, meaning she has to eat carefully as not to mess it up.
• Disguises herself as a missing American girl bearing her resemblance which fools the girl's father.

Intelligence & Skills

Manipulation

• Trains a fellow patient to attack people on command in exchange for treats, which she uses to aid in her escape.
• Seduces a pedophilic guard so she could kill him and steal his keys.
• Distracts an air stewardess to nick a mini vodka.
• Gets her therapist's secretary out of the way to eavesdrop on her private conversation with her supposed mother, then frames a small boy for hitting her to interrupt the session before the therapist can expose her performance.
• Excuses herself to avoid eating poisoned pasta and gives it to her pet rat to test it.
• Caused multiple incidents while evading blame, up until a nun noticed a pattern.
• Charms a couple into adopting her using her art to procure sympathy.
• Uses her therapist to isolate her adoptive mother, even after bonding with and gaining her trust by faking sympathy, and later taunts her with her own personal issues.
• When her adoptive mother catches her out in a lie, she turns it back on her by bringing up her issues with her other children.
• Manipulates Max into lying for her when she attacked a girl then helping her commit and subsequently conceal a murder..
• Turns her adoptive parents against eachother using their past vices, ruining their marriage and allowing her to get closer to the husband.
  • Tells Kate that John - who cheated on her years ago - was hitting on their neighbor.
  • Releases the brake in Kate's car (cutting a hole in Daniel's school bag to distract her) with Max inside, who almost died due to Kate's neglience in the past.
  • Shows John a wine bottle that Kate - a recovering alcoholic - bought in secret but resisted the temptation to drink.
  • Provokes Kate into grabbing her by taking out the roses from her miscarriage's grave and presenting them to her, then breaks her own arm to make it look like Kate did it.

Stealth

• Sneaks out of an asylum without being seen by any orderlies.
• Hitches a ride by hiding inside a car boot, then manages to slip out and inside the driver's home without being seen.
• Breaks into a detective's home, sneaks up to him and injures him.
• Spies on Kate looking at her diary without being noticed.
• Stalks her school bully in a playground then ambushes her.
• Sneaks into Daniel's room and holds him at knife point.
• Manages to smother Daniel in his hospital bed while nobody's around, then slip out before anyone can catch her with a convincing albi so Kate looks unstable when she accuses her.
• Sneaks up to an intoxicated John and stabs him in the back.

Miscellaneous

• Speaks Estonian and English fluently.
• Paints blacklight art that serves as a window into her soul which she goes into incredibly graphic detail with.
• An exceptional pianist.
• Cooks a bomb-ass breakfast.
• Can drive.
• Kills a teenager with a crossbow.
• Quickly picks up and learns sign language to communicate with her adoptive sister Max, eventually knowing it better than her brother Daniel (assuming she didn't know sign language already).
• Adjusts Kate's negligee so it fits her.
• Spots Kate through a window in another part of the house and shoots her with a revolver.

Physical Attributes

Strength

• Kills a man by slamming his head against a wall.
• Escapes the grasp of an athletic teenage boy by elbowing him in the ribs.
• Fights handedly with a grown woman.

Speed

• Blitzes a woman and tackles her before she could shot her.

Durability

• Gets thrown down the stairs, then recovers and flees as soon as her aggressors look away.
• Endures breaking her own arm in a vice.
• An adult woman falls on her and she's gone by the time the police arrive.
• Dies when a good kick to the face breaks her neck.

(backstory below)
sounds like a call hangup or message, followed by an incoming or outgoing ringtone
https://youtu.be/GF-t6lDyVkE
im almost certain she cheated (she wont confess) but i was working on my computer and she kept getting notifications from what sounded like another phone and going in and out of sleep for ab 45min,i recorded it till i “woke” her and confronted her, she denied it w the worst excuses and lies saying the notification/s vibration (until she turned it off and i could just hear her moving around) were her bed, door and just the most embarrassing attempt to gaslight me and even went as far as messaging a certain mutual friend with her side of it without sending the clip i recorded making me out to be insanely delusional, id got her an iphone 15 and shed promised she gave her old one to her little sibling in march, she also tried to prove it to me by showing me her daily screen time and how her phone hadn’t been used though i had time stamps in the clip..the relationship died there but she was standing hard on how i couldn’t believe her etc and wouldn’t let me break up by threatening sh, leaking me, etc. so later on the day i have her watch me play a video game and she’s acting off and on push to talk.. i tell her to turn her noise suppression all the way down as im suspicious of her loyalty and as she’s turning it down i hear these app notification sounds that i don’t recognize and couldn’t find in my search through almost every messaging and social media app so im thinking it’s some private chat app or maybe even a sex toy long distance control app, i don’t know but i need to know this to be better able to confront her and actually get her to see i know she fucked up and to leave me alone, and not play these mind games as i don’t know how far she’ll go since she is currently telling me i wont leave her for no reason and just doesn’t acknowledge my original clip which she flat out lies about and denies

It dawned on me today that Vivzipop seems to be very much obsessed with physically and emotionally abusive relationships, and at times sort of comes across as being an apologist for them.
From Valentino and Angel, to Blitz and his employees, Blitz and Stolas, Fizzarolli and Mamon, Moxxie and the shark dude, Stolas and Stella, Stolas and Octavia ... It's just one abuse after another in those couplings (both romantic and platonic). And then the apologist angle is being constantly shoved down our throats with Stolas.
He cheated on his wife, neglected his daughter repeatedly, intentionally messes with Blitz time and time again while being a whiny "woe is me" complainer, and we're supposed to forgive him and feel bad for him because he caught feelings?
Am I the only one who has noticed this?

In 2021 I had caught my wife using Bumble because she had emails showing she registered for it in January of 2020 and multiple receipts from apple showing she payed for several weeks of Bumble Boost. In 2020.
She swore to me that she was just using Bumble to meet friends in a friends mode for the app. She didn’t have any proof though because by the time I had found these emails she said she had deleted the app and account.
Fast forward to present day, this is all getting brought back up again because on Saturday I was cleaning out some drawers and found her old iPhone from around that time. This phone was one we bought after we had been married. Just to see it if I should throw it away or not or if it even worked, I charged it and turned it on, and one of the apps that was on her phone was okcupid (the app was darkly shaded, I guess trying to be downloaded from the iCloud) . When I asked her why a dedicated hookup/dating app was on her phone, she denied it completely and said I must have downloaded it myself so that I could have something to be mad about and so that I had an excuse to play video games. She started to get heated, so I dropped the subject because I didn’t want to argue in front of our son. About an hour later, she comes storming into my room FURIOUS about a different matter all together. That’s a whole other story completely, but long story short, she has been screaming, cussing, demoralizing and belittling me for the past 3 days because of different instances where she says I’ve been too friendly with other women and that I must be cheating (I’ve never cheated btw)
I felt like this was all just a desperate attempt to distract and deflect from the fact that I found the okcupid app on her phone. So On Monday, between her screaming at me and going through MY phone to try to find reasons to be upset, I pressed her about the issue of OKcupid again. I told her that I wasn’t stupid and that saying “I must have been the one to download it” was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and that we both know that wasn’t true.
After enough pressing, she changed her story and said she “forgot” that she downloaded it but never even opened the app. She downloaded it because “we had been arguing and she wanted to make me mad”. She said she didn’t tell me this on Saturday because she “genuinely forgot”, and that 3 years was so long ago and she couldn’t remember when I first brought it up to her. But she swears she never even opened the app, and that she downloaded it to make me upset.
This makes literally no sense. How would this make me mad if I wasn’t on her phone and never knew she downloaded it until 3 years later?
So now I’ve been spiraling, and I’m not really sure what to do. I don’t want to be with someone who has cheated on me, but i don’t think she’ll ever be truthful even if she has cheated. I’ve spent the past 5 years of our marriage with her constantly accusing me of cheating, even though I never have. Now it all feels like she’s been projecting her actions into me this whole time.
We have a 3 year old son who is the main reason I’m hesitant to take action, but I also want to weigh the fact on how my relationship with his mother if we try to stay together can impact him.
WIBTA if I chose to separate/divorce her?