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Tiffany Alvord 2
2018.01.18 22:13 Tiffany Alvord 2
An unofficial subreddit for fans of Tiffany Alvord. More content, less moderation.
2024.05.13 07:13 thinkingstranger May 12, 2024
I write a lot about how the Biden-Harris administration is working to restore the principles of the period between 1933 and 1981, when members of both political parties widely shared the belief that the government should regulate business, provide a basic social safety net, promote infrastructure, and protect civil rights. And I write about how that so-called liberal consensus broke down as extremists used the Reconstruction-era image of the American cowboy—who, according to myth, wanted nothing from the government but to be left alone—to stand against what they insisted was creeping socialism that stole tax dollars from hardworking white men in order to give handouts to lazy minorities and women.
But five major stories over the past several days made me realize that I’ve never written about how Trump and his loyalists have distorted the cowboy image until it has become a poisonous caricature of the values its recent defenders have claimed to champion.
The cowboy myth originated during the Reconstruction era as a response to the idea that a government that defended Black rights was “socialist” and that the tax dollars required to pay bureaucrats and army officers would break hardworking white men.
This weekend, on Saturday, May 11, Paul Kiel of ProPublica and Russ Buettner of the New York Times teamed up to deliver a deep investigation into what Trump was talking about when he insisted that he must break tradition and refuse to release his tax returns when he ran for office in 2016 and 2020, citing an audit.
The New York Times had already reported that one of the reasons the Internal Revenue Service was auditing Trump’s taxes was that, beginning in 2010, he began to claim a $72.9 million tax refund because of huge losses from his failing casinos.
Kiel and Buettner followed the convoluted web of Trump’s finances to find another issue with his tax history. They concluded that Trump’s Chicago skyscraper, his last major construction project, was “a vast money loser.” He claimed losses as high as $651 million on it in 2008. But then he appears to have moved ownership of the building in 2010 from one entity to a new one—the authors describe it as “like moving coins from one pocket to another”—and used that move to claim another $168 million in losses, thereby double-dipping.
The experts the authors consulted said that if he loses the audit battle, Trump could owe the IRS more than $100 million. University of Baltimore law professor Walter Schwidetzky, who is an expert on partnership taxation, told the authors: “I think he ripped off the tax system.”
The cowboy myth emphasized dominance over the Indigenous Americans and Mexicans allegedly attacking white settlers from the East. On Friday an impressive piece of reporting from Jude Joffe-Block at NPR untangled the origins of a story pushed by Republicans that Democrats were encouraging asylum seekers to vote illegally for President Joe Biden in 2024, revealing that the story was entirely made up.
The story broke on X, formerly Twitter, on April 15, when the investigative arm of the right-wing Heritage Foundation, which promises to provide “aggressive oversight” of the Biden administration, posted photos of what it claimed were flyers from inside portable toilets at a migrant camp in Matamoros, Mexico, that said in broken Spanish: “Reminder to vote for President Biden when you are in the United States. We need another four years of his term to stay open.” The tweet thread got more than 9 million views and was boosted by Elon Musk, X’s owner.
But the story was fabricated. The flyer used the name of a small organization that helps asylum seekers, along with the name of the woman who runs the organization. She is a U.S. citizen and told Joffe-Block that her organization has “never encouraged people to vote for anyone.” Indeed, it has never come up because everyone knows noncitizens are not eligible to vote. The flyer had outdated phone numbers and addresses, and its Spanish was full of errors. Migrants who are staying at the encampment as they wait for their appointments to enter the U.S. say they have never seen such flyers, and no one has urged them to vote for Biden.
Digging showed that the flyer was “discovered” by the right-wing video site Muckraker, which specializes in “undercover” escapades. The founder of Muckraker, Anthony Rubin, and his brother, Joshua Rubin, had shown up at the organization’s headquarters in Matamoros asking to become volunteers for the organization; they and their conversation were captured on video, and signs point to the conclusion that they planted the flyers.
Nonetheless, Republicans ran with the story. Within 12 hours after the fake flyer appeared on X, Republican representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and Dan Bishop (R-NC) brought posters of it to Congress, and Republicans made it a centerpiece of their insistence that Congress must pass a new law against noncitizen voting. Rather than being protected by modern-day cowboys, the woman who ran the organization that helps asylum seekers got death threats.
The cowboy image emphasized the masculinity of the independent men it championed, but the testimony of Stephanie Clifford, the adult film actress also known as Stormy Daniels, in Trump’s criminal trial for falsifying business records to cover up his payments to Clifford to keep her story of their sexual encounter secret before the 2016 election, turns Trump’s aggressive dominance into sad weakness. Covering Clifford’s testimony, Maureen Dowd of the New York Times yesterday wrote that “Trump came across as a loser in her account—a narcissist, cheater, sad Hugh Hefner wannabe, trading his satin pajamas for a dress shirt and trousers (and, later, boxers) as soon as Stormy mocked him.”
In the literature of the cowboy myth, the young champion of the underdog is eventually supposed to settle down and take care of his family, who adore him. But the news of the past week has caricatured that shift, too. On Wednesday, May 8, the Republican Party of Florida announced that it had picked Trump’s youngest son, 18-year-old Barron, as one of the state’s at-large delegates to the Republican National Convention, along with Trump’s other sons, Eric and Donald Jr.; Don Jr.’s fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle; and Trump’s second daughter, Tiffany, and her husband.
On Friday, May 10, Trump’s current wife and Barron’s mother, former first lady Melania Trump, issued a statement saying: “While Barron is honored to have been chosen as a delegate by the Florida Republican Party, he regretfully declines to participate due to prior commitments.” It is hard not to interpret this extraordinary snub from his own wife and son as a chilly response to the past month of testimony about his extramarital escapades while Barron was an infant.
Finally, there was the eye-popping story broken by Josh Dawsey and Maxine Joselow in the Washington Post on Thursday, revealing that last month, at a private meeting with about two dozen top oil executives at Mar-a-Lago, Trump offered to reverse President Joe Biden’s environmental rules designed to combat climate change and to stop any new ones from being enacted in exchange for a $1 billion donation.
Trump has promised his supporters that he would be an outsider, using his knowledge of business to defend ordinary Americans against those elites who don’t care about them. Now he has been revealed as being willing to sell us out—to sell humanity out—for the bargain basement price of $1 billion (with about 8 billion people in the world, this would make us each worth about 12 and a half cents).
Chief White House ethics lawyer in the George W. Bush administration Richard Painter wrote: “This is called bribery. It’s a felony.” He followed up with “Even a candidate who loses can be prosecuted for bribery. That includes the former guy asking for a billion dollars in campaign cash from oil companies in exchange for rolling back environmental laws.”
The cowboy myth was always a political image, designed to undermine the idea of a government that worked for ordinary Americans. It was powerful after the Civil War but faded into the past in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s as Americans realized that their lives depended on government regulation and a basic social safety net. The American cowboy burst back into prominence with the advent of the Marlboro Man in 1954, the year of the Supreme Court’s Brown v. Board of Education decision, and the idea of an individual white man who worked hard, wanted nothing from the government but to be left alone, was a sex symbol, and protected his women became a central myth in the rise of politicians determined to overturn the liberal consensus.
Now it seems the myth has come full circle, with the party led by a man whose wife rejects him and whose lovers ridicule him, who makes up stories about dangerous “others,” cheats on his taxes, solicits bribes, and tries to sell out his followers for cash—the very caricature the mythological cowboy was invented to fight.
—
Notes:
https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-irs-audit-chicago-hotel-taxes
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/10
/1248599505/migrants-vote-biden-conspiracy-theory-social-media
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/10/1250585392/takeaways-migration-biden-flyer-matamoros
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-stormy-daniels-trial.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/05/09/trump-oil-industry-campaign-money/
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/barron-trump-florida-delegate-republican-national-convention-rcna151388
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/barron-trump-declines-invitation-delegate-republican-convention-rcna151761
Twitter (X):
rwpusa/status/1789632040054165516
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-12-2024
submitted by thinkingstranger to HeatherCoxRichardson [link] [comments]
But five major stories over the past several days made me realize that I’ve never written about how Trump and his loyalists have distorted the cowboy image until it has become a poisonous caricature of the values its recent defenders have claimed to champion.
The cowboy myth originated during the Reconstruction era as a response to the idea that a government that defended Black rights was “socialist” and that the tax dollars required to pay bureaucrats and army officers would break hardworking white men.
This weekend, on Saturday, May 11, Paul Kiel of ProPublica and Russ Buettner of the New York Times teamed up to deliver a deep investigation into what Trump was talking about when he insisted that he must break tradition and refuse to release his tax returns when he ran for office in 2016 and 2020, citing an audit.
The New York Times had already reported that one of the reasons the Internal Revenue Service was auditing Trump’s taxes was that, beginning in 2010, he began to claim a $72.9 million tax refund because of huge losses from his failing casinos.
Kiel and Buettner followed the convoluted web of Trump’s finances to find another issue with his tax history. They concluded that Trump’s Chicago skyscraper, his last major construction project, was “a vast money loser.” He claimed losses as high as $651 million on it in 2008. But then he appears to have moved ownership of the building in 2010 from one entity to a new one—the authors describe it as “like moving coins from one pocket to another”—and used that move to claim another $168 million in losses, thereby double-dipping.
The experts the authors consulted said that if he loses the audit battle, Trump could owe the IRS more than $100 million. University of Baltimore law professor Walter Schwidetzky, who is an expert on partnership taxation, told the authors: “I think he ripped off the tax system.”
The cowboy myth emphasized dominance over the Indigenous Americans and Mexicans allegedly attacking white settlers from the East. On Friday an impressive piece of reporting from Jude Joffe-Block at NPR untangled the origins of a story pushed by Republicans that Democrats were encouraging asylum seekers to vote illegally for President Joe Biden in 2024, revealing that the story was entirely made up.
The story broke on X, formerly Twitter, on April 15, when the investigative arm of the right-wing Heritage Foundation, which promises to provide “aggressive oversight” of the Biden administration, posted photos of what it claimed were flyers from inside portable toilets at a migrant camp in Matamoros, Mexico, that said in broken Spanish: “Reminder to vote for President Biden when you are in the United States. We need another four years of his term to stay open.” The tweet thread got more than 9 million views and was boosted by Elon Musk, X’s owner.
But the story was fabricated. The flyer used the name of a small organization that helps asylum seekers, along with the name of the woman who runs the organization. She is a U.S. citizen and told Joffe-Block that her organization has “never encouraged people to vote for anyone.” Indeed, it has never come up because everyone knows noncitizens are not eligible to vote. The flyer had outdated phone numbers and addresses, and its Spanish was full of errors. Migrants who are staying at the encampment as they wait for their appointments to enter the U.S. say they have never seen such flyers, and no one has urged them to vote for Biden.
Digging showed that the flyer was “discovered” by the right-wing video site Muckraker, which specializes in “undercover” escapades. The founder of Muckraker, Anthony Rubin, and his brother, Joshua Rubin, had shown up at the organization’s headquarters in Matamoros asking to become volunteers for the organization; they and their conversation were captured on video, and signs point to the conclusion that they planted the flyers.
Nonetheless, Republicans ran with the story. Within 12 hours after the fake flyer appeared on X, Republican representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and Dan Bishop (R-NC) brought posters of it to Congress, and Republicans made it a centerpiece of their insistence that Congress must pass a new law against noncitizen voting. Rather than being protected by modern-day cowboys, the woman who ran the organization that helps asylum seekers got death threats.
The cowboy image emphasized the masculinity of the independent men it championed, but the testimony of Stephanie Clifford, the adult film actress also known as Stormy Daniels, in Trump’s criminal trial for falsifying business records to cover up his payments to Clifford to keep her story of their sexual encounter secret before the 2016 election, turns Trump’s aggressive dominance into sad weakness. Covering Clifford’s testimony, Maureen Dowd of the New York Times yesterday wrote that “Trump came across as a loser in her account—a narcissist, cheater, sad Hugh Hefner wannabe, trading his satin pajamas for a dress shirt and trousers (and, later, boxers) as soon as Stormy mocked him.”
In the literature of the cowboy myth, the young champion of the underdog is eventually supposed to settle down and take care of his family, who adore him. But the news of the past week has caricatured that shift, too. On Wednesday, May 8, the Republican Party of Florida announced that it had picked Trump’s youngest son, 18-year-old Barron, as one of the state’s at-large delegates to the Republican National Convention, along with Trump’s other sons, Eric and Donald Jr.; Don Jr.’s fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle; and Trump’s second daughter, Tiffany, and her husband.
On Friday, May 10, Trump’s current wife and Barron’s mother, former first lady Melania Trump, issued a statement saying: “While Barron is honored to have been chosen as a delegate by the Florida Republican Party, he regretfully declines to participate due to prior commitments.” It is hard not to interpret this extraordinary snub from his own wife and son as a chilly response to the past month of testimony about his extramarital escapades while Barron was an infant.
Finally, there was the eye-popping story broken by Josh Dawsey and Maxine Joselow in the Washington Post on Thursday, revealing that last month, at a private meeting with about two dozen top oil executives at Mar-a-Lago, Trump offered to reverse President Joe Biden’s environmental rules designed to combat climate change and to stop any new ones from being enacted in exchange for a $1 billion donation.
Trump has promised his supporters that he would be an outsider, using his knowledge of business to defend ordinary Americans against those elites who don’t care about them. Now he has been revealed as being willing to sell us out—to sell humanity out—for the bargain basement price of $1 billion (with about 8 billion people in the world, this would make us each worth about 12 and a half cents).
Chief White House ethics lawyer in the George W. Bush administration Richard Painter wrote: “This is called bribery. It’s a felony.” He followed up with “Even a candidate who loses can be prosecuted for bribery. That includes the former guy asking for a billion dollars in campaign cash from oil companies in exchange for rolling back environmental laws.”
The cowboy myth was always a political image, designed to undermine the idea of a government that worked for ordinary Americans. It was powerful after the Civil War but faded into the past in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s as Americans realized that their lives depended on government regulation and a basic social safety net. The American cowboy burst back into prominence with the advent of the Marlboro Man in 1954, the year of the Supreme Court’s Brown v. Board of Education decision, and the idea of an individual white man who worked hard, wanted nothing from the government but to be left alone, was a sex symbol, and protected his women became a central myth in the rise of politicians determined to overturn the liberal consensus.
Now it seems the myth has come full circle, with the party led by a man whose wife rejects him and whose lovers ridicule him, who makes up stories about dangerous “others,” cheats on his taxes, solicits bribes, and tries to sell out his followers for cash—the very caricature the mythological cowboy was invented to fight.
—
Notes:
https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-irs-audit-chicago-hotel-taxes
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/10
/1248599505/migrants-vote-biden-conspiracy-theory-social-media
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/10/1250585392/takeaways-migration-biden-flyer-matamoros
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/11/opinion/trump-stormy-daniels-trial.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/05/09/trump-oil-industry-campaign-money/
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/barron-trump-florida-delegate-republican-national-convention-rcna151388
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/barron-trump-declines-invitation-delegate-republican-convention-rcna151761
Twitter (X):
rwpusa/status/1789632040054165516
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-12-2024
2024.05.13 03:45 passports_parakeets Dimmy & Dummy Celebrate Nine Years and Stevie Kate Learns to Ride a Bike with No Gears - The Dirtles’ Week in Review
Monday
Dimmy: WHAT are you about to do? Stevie Kate: Go on my bicycle in my sandals and nightgown, way over there. Dimmy: Oh my goodness, are you so excited? Speedy Kate: Yeah I’m going to go FAR AWAY. Dimmy: Oh my goodness are you going to stay nice and safe? Runaway Kate: Uh… I think. Don’t worry about it! I’ll be FAR AWAY from this dog and pony show. I’m going off the grid never to be seen again on Instagram! Dimmy: Whatever. Push with your feet! Stevie Cycle: Mommy, look I’m doing so good. Dimmy: You’re doing a great job! Stevie Kate: If only you would do a great job potty training me and dressing me in the proper clothes to play outside in! I just lost a toe in these sandals and my nightgown got caught in the spokes! Splat.
Dimmy: We haven’t had a date night since London was born so we decided to do adate night in Hello Fresh shill! Some people use Hello Fresh as an actual meal solution for their family. Can you imagine? That sounds like a lot of work. We just use it when we have a code to shill! We’re far too lazy to cook real food otherwise, even with a meal kit. I mean, just look at all the junk and trash we have piled by the door!
Tuesday
Dimmy: I think when I look back years from now, I’ll be like why the fuck are all my family memories on Astroturf? If we’re not traveling, Stevie Kate’s either in the Astroturf side yard or we’re all on the Astroturf at the local shopping center having a picnic. We live on Astroturf almost daily when it’s nice outside! It’s such a fun way to be outside without ever coming into contact with actual nature- yuck! When we’re not being fake online, we want to sit on something fake offline!
Headed into my six week postpartum appointment! Steven wanted me to go today so I can get the all-clear to have sex with him for our anniversary tomorrow. Damn where did the time go? How has it been six weeks already? That was way too brief of a break from the bed troll.
It has been way too long since I washed my hair. It is so gross. But that’s not stopping me from continuing to not wash it! I am going to use my time to shill you shower bombs instead. I may be dirty, but I will soon be filthy- filthy rich that is!
Thursday
Dimmy: Today is our nine-year wedding anniversary! To celebrate, none of us washed our hair or changed any diapers, then we headed out on a walk. The girls wore last night’s pajamas and I wore London incorrectly. So basically today was just like any other day! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
In 2014 I started dating Steven after meeting him in HLTH code founder / BYU professor Ben Bikman’s weightlifting class, turning him down a million times, and dating a bunch of other guys. Once we started dating, we traveled the world together, which to me is the equivalent of being wined and dined, so I said yes when he asked me to marry him. What was I thinking?
2015! Also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. We got married and became permanent planet partners forever.
2016 was a happy year. Steven and the rest of the Houghtons hadn’t totally sucked all the life out of me yet.
By 2017 the tide was starting to turn, but here’s a photo from when I still looked happy and carefree.
2018 was so bad I deleted all the photos from my phone except this one of Steven with the stupid body pillow I gave him that used to pop up as IG content as often as Active Skin Repair ads do now.
2019 was a year of travel and leisure, so it looked pretty much like every other year.
2020! We moved to Arizona for Steven’s failed “business venture,” started locking the fridge and bounced a raw Thanksgiving turkey on a sheet like a parachute with Steven’s family and the Frankenstones during the height of COVID.
2021! This was the year Steven made me roller blade for diapers containing either shit or money on Mother’s Day a few short weeks after giving birth, and also the year he shoved McDonald’s down my throat until I cried. It really was a life-changing year, because the CONTENTOT arrived in 2021, earning us so much cash that…
…In 2022 we were able to begin an annual tradition of five-week summer vacations around the world. It was also the year of Stevie Kate’s big first birthday bash that Steven skipped to get a blepharoplasty, and I ended up crying in the closet.
2023 was a bust. I got pregnant with the Disappointment Baby, not the male heir Steven wanted. He said if I threw a huge gender reveal influencer bash for our second girl, he would skip it like he did SK’s first birthday party. So we sulked off to Deer Valley to see my family instead and made Tanner troubleshoot the faulty pink confetti cannons in the rain while Steven lounged about inside on his phone. Tiffany was a no-show because God blessed her with a $2 million housing miracle, but we didn’t want her there anyway.
2024! The year Steven took Stevie Kate to China and truly showed what an unfit father he is. She almost didn’t survive. This was also the year we didn’t tell Stevie Kate she turned three until April, and also we became a family of four! And all of you assholes are thinking, wow, does this girl not have a limit? How does she tolerate Steven and his terrible family and not walk out the door?
Friday
Dimmy: For our anniversary yesterday we stayed at a hotel while someone (Diana, but I won’t give her credit) watched the girls. I knew Steven had the hotel booked but all day I thought I wasn’t getting anything else, just a night with the fridge troll. 🤢 He didn’t tell me happy anniversary or give me flowers or anything. But I was wrong! When I got to the hotel there were roses in the middle of the bed, along with a fucking chocolate cake! There were also four chocolate covered strawberries and a random ass brownie scattered on the the white bedspread. And that’s not all! Cap’n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms were in the room too! And a box of Dirty Dough cookies. But you know what was missing? Plates, bowls and utensils! Thank goodness Steven had his rusty pocket knife. I was hoping he’d get tetanus or eat so much sugar he’d pass out without touching me!
Dummy must still be fighting his way out of a sugar fog because today he’s “too busy” to go car shopping with Dimmy, but apparently not too busy to watch Stevie Kate while Dimmy, Diana and London flitted about from luxury car dealer to dealer looking at giant vehicles. The trio traveled by orange parachute, which also doubled as a dress Dimmy wore. 🪂 No one could focus on the cars Dimmy showed or any of the features she was comparing because her billowy parachute dress was too distracting.
Dimmy: Before I sign off for the night, you know I’ve got to shill something dumb first because the only thing I like more than sleeping ten hours a night, is making money while I sleep! ARMRA COLOSTRUM. We have been using this for months and we do not get sick because we take Armra every single day! 🤥
Dummy: Watermelon is the best flavor. No, wait, I like the unflavored one the best. Because it doesn’t taste like anything. Which is what I actually take: NOTHING! But make sure YOU buy one of each!
Saturday
Dimmy: Introducing… Princess Aurora with her beautiful train dragging behind her! Cinder Kate: I’m dressed like Cinderella. And I told you two weeks ago to stop introducing me like the Denner girl with the unfortunate mouth. Dimmy: Speaking of which, guess who we are going to see today?? Cinder Kate: Cinderella??!! Dimmy: Guess again! Stevie Kate: Princess Aurora? Dimmy: Remi Denner! Stevie Kate: Nooooo! Dimmy: I’ll buy you a donut if you cooperate! Stevie Kate: In that case I’ll grab my princess heels… let’s go!
The Denner girl turned out to be the least of Cinder Kate’s worries as the Denner boy, that bratty overgrown baby named Rhett, escaped his double stroller and took her hand while she was walking ahead of the group pretending she didn’t know who any of these assholes were. Speedy Kate shook him loose and took off running, making a mental note to bring her scooter next time for an even faster getaway. She ran all the way home to watch Cinderella and get her mind off the whole awful ordeal but no one would let her watch her movie so she just binged Dimmy’s powdered sunscreen video over and over that was part of her PR package. Watching an ad for sunscreen sure beat hanging out with the Denners.
Dimmy: Good job, Stevie Kate! Watching shills is always encouraged! Time to link it up and douse you in powdered sunscreen! Stevie Cough: Vanishes into a dust storm of powdered sunscreen
Dimmy: Hey Iris, what recipes do you suggest for dinner? The fridge troll ate all of our Factor meals. Snaps photo of fridge contents.
Iris: Well you don’t have much to work with so I’d suggest you let Stevie Kate take that bag of leftover rotisserie chicken into the side yard and smother it in a mixture of the Bonne Maman jam, sour cream, and sugar fee Jello pudding. That can be her dinner and you can have milk and cereal for dinner, assuming you have Magic Spoon in the pantry.
Dimmy: That sounds disgusting!
Iris: Shit, IDK. 🤷♂️ You can always use your empty fridge as an excuse to shill a Hello Fresh order, then have pizza delivered for dinner? By the way, can I suggest a color palette for you? That orange dress you had on yesterday was tragic AF.
Dimmy: Fuck off.
LINK TO THIS WEEK’S PHOTO
submitted by passports_parakeets to TurtleCreekLane [link] [comments]
Dimmy: WHAT are you about to do? Stevie Kate: Go on my bicycle in my sandals and nightgown, way over there. Dimmy: Oh my goodness, are you so excited? Speedy Kate: Yeah I’m going to go FAR AWAY. Dimmy: Oh my goodness are you going to stay nice and safe? Runaway Kate: Uh… I think. Don’t worry about it! I’ll be FAR AWAY from this dog and pony show. I’m going off the grid never to be seen again on Instagram! Dimmy: Whatever. Push with your feet! Stevie Cycle: Mommy, look I’m doing so good. Dimmy: You’re doing a great job! Stevie Kate: If only you would do a great job potty training me and dressing me in the proper clothes to play outside in! I just lost a toe in these sandals and my nightgown got caught in the spokes! Splat.
Dimmy: We haven’t had a date night since London was born so we decided to do a
Tuesday
Dimmy: I think when I look back years from now, I’ll be like why the fuck are all my family memories on Astroturf? If we’re not traveling, Stevie Kate’s either in the Astroturf side yard or we’re all on the Astroturf at the local shopping center having a picnic. We live on Astroturf almost daily when it’s nice outside! It’s such a fun way to be outside without ever coming into contact with actual nature- yuck! When we’re not being fake online, we want to sit on something fake offline!
Headed into my six week postpartum appointment! Steven wanted me to go today so I can get the all-clear to have sex with him for our anniversary tomorrow. Damn where did the time go? How has it been six weeks already? That was way too brief of a break from the bed troll.
It has been way too long since I washed my hair. It is so gross. But that’s not stopping me from continuing to not wash it! I am going to use my time to shill you shower bombs instead. I may be dirty, but I will soon be filthy- filthy rich that is!
Thursday
Dimmy: Today is our nine-year wedding anniversary! To celebrate, none of us washed our hair or changed any diapers, then we headed out on a walk. The girls wore last night’s pajamas and I wore London incorrectly. So basically today was just like any other day! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
In 2014 I started dating Steven after meeting him in HLTH code founder / BYU professor Ben Bikman’s weightlifting class, turning him down a million times, and dating a bunch of other guys. Once we started dating, we traveled the world together, which to me is the equivalent of being wined and dined, so I said yes when he asked me to marry him. What was I thinking?
2015! Also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. We got married and became permanent planet partners forever.
2016 was a happy year. Steven and the rest of the Houghtons hadn’t totally sucked all the life out of me yet.
By 2017 the tide was starting to turn, but here’s a photo from when I still looked happy and carefree.
2018 was so bad I deleted all the photos from my phone except this one of Steven with the stupid body pillow I gave him that used to pop up as IG content as often as Active Skin Repair ads do now.
2019 was a year of travel and leisure, so it looked pretty much like every other year.
2020! We moved to Arizona for Steven’s failed “business venture,” started locking the fridge and bounced a raw Thanksgiving turkey on a sheet like a parachute with Steven’s family and the Frankenstones during the height of COVID.
2021! This was the year Steven made me roller blade for diapers containing either shit or money on Mother’s Day a few short weeks after giving birth, and also the year he shoved McDonald’s down my throat until I cried. It really was a life-changing year, because the CONTENTOT arrived in 2021, earning us so much cash that…
…In 2022 we were able to begin an annual tradition of five-week summer vacations around the world. It was also the year of Stevie Kate’s big first birthday bash that Steven skipped to get a blepharoplasty, and I ended up crying in the closet.
2023 was a bust. I got pregnant with the Disappointment Baby, not the male heir Steven wanted. He said if I threw a huge gender reveal influencer bash for our second girl, he would skip it like he did SK’s first birthday party. So we sulked off to Deer Valley to see my family instead and made Tanner troubleshoot the faulty pink confetti cannons in the rain while Steven lounged about inside on his phone. Tiffany was a no-show because God blessed her with a $2 million housing miracle, but we didn’t want her there anyway.
2024! The year Steven took Stevie Kate to China and truly showed what an unfit father he is. She almost didn’t survive. This was also the year we didn’t tell Stevie Kate she turned three until April, and also we became a family of four! And all of you assholes are thinking, wow, does this girl not have a limit? How does she tolerate Steven and his terrible family and not walk out the door?
Friday
Dimmy: For our anniversary yesterday we stayed at a hotel while someone (Diana, but I won’t give her credit) watched the girls. I knew Steven had the hotel booked but all day I thought I wasn’t getting anything else, just a night with the fridge troll. 🤢 He didn’t tell me happy anniversary or give me flowers or anything. But I was wrong! When I got to the hotel there were roses in the middle of the bed, along with a fucking chocolate cake! There were also four chocolate covered strawberries and a random ass brownie scattered on the the white bedspread. And that’s not all! Cap’n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms were in the room too! And a box of Dirty Dough cookies. But you know what was missing? Plates, bowls and utensils! Thank goodness Steven had his rusty pocket knife. I was hoping he’d get tetanus or eat so much sugar he’d pass out without touching me!
Dummy must still be fighting his way out of a sugar fog because today he’s “too busy” to go car shopping with Dimmy, but apparently not too busy to watch Stevie Kate while Dimmy, Diana and London flitted about from luxury car dealer to dealer looking at giant vehicles. The trio traveled by orange parachute, which also doubled as a dress Dimmy wore. 🪂 No one could focus on the cars Dimmy showed or any of the features she was comparing because her billowy parachute dress was too distracting.
Dimmy: Before I sign off for the night, you know I’ve got to shill something dumb first because the only thing I like more than sleeping ten hours a night, is making money while I sleep! ARMRA COLOSTRUM. We have been using this for months and we do not get sick because we take Armra every single day! 🤥
Dummy: Watermelon is the best flavor. No, wait, I like the unflavored one the best. Because it doesn’t taste like anything. Which is what I actually take: NOTHING! But make sure YOU buy one of each!
Saturday
Dimmy: Introducing… Princess Aurora with her beautiful train dragging behind her! Cinder Kate: I’m dressed like Cinderella. And I told you two weeks ago to stop introducing me like the Denner girl with the unfortunate mouth. Dimmy: Speaking of which, guess who we are going to see today?? Cinder Kate: Cinderella??!! Dimmy: Guess again! Stevie Kate: Princess Aurora? Dimmy: Remi Denner! Stevie Kate: Nooooo! Dimmy: I’ll buy you a donut if you cooperate! Stevie Kate: In that case I’ll grab my princess heels… let’s go!
The Denner girl turned out to be the least of Cinder Kate’s worries as the Denner boy, that bratty overgrown baby named Rhett, escaped his double stroller and took her hand while she was walking ahead of the group pretending she didn’t know who any of these assholes were. Speedy Kate shook him loose and took off running, making a mental note to bring her scooter next time for an even faster getaway. She ran all the way home to watch Cinderella and get her mind off the whole awful ordeal but no one would let her watch her movie so she just binged Dimmy’s powdered sunscreen video over and over that was part of her PR package. Watching an ad for sunscreen sure beat hanging out with the Denners.
Dimmy: Good job, Stevie Kate! Watching shills is always encouraged! Time to link it up and douse you in powdered sunscreen! Stevie Cough: Vanishes into a dust storm of powdered sunscreen
Dimmy: Hey Iris, what recipes do you suggest for dinner? The fridge troll ate all of our Factor meals. Snaps photo of fridge contents.
Iris: Well you don’t have much to work with so I’d suggest you let Stevie Kate take that bag of leftover rotisserie chicken into the side yard and smother it in a mixture of the Bonne Maman jam, sour cream, and sugar fee Jello pudding. That can be her dinner and you can have milk and cereal for dinner, assuming you have Magic Spoon in the pantry.
Dimmy: That sounds disgusting!
Iris: Shit, IDK. 🤷♂️ You can always use your empty fridge as an excuse to shill a Hello Fresh order, then have pizza delivered for dinner? By the way, can I suggest a color palette for you? That orange dress you had on yesterday was tragic AF.
Dimmy: Fuck off.
LINK TO THIS WEEK’S PHOTO
2024.05.12 16:17 thechriswilcox Survivor 46 isn’t Gabon, it’s Worlds Apart
Survivor 46 definitely has the messy elements that are associated with Survivor Gabon, but to me, it reminds me more of Worlds Apart.
In his Funny 115 piece on Dan Foley, Mario Lanza had the observation that Worlds Apart was conceived as a Big Brother-like season, where people were cast specifically to create maximum conflict. That definitely feels like how Yanu and Nami were cast.
Yanu has:
Jelinksy, voted out first because he annoyed his tribe so much they got rid of arguably their biggest physical threat. Jess, who left the game mad at everyone but Bhanu and who was given a fake immunity idol for really no reason at all, because she wanted to get away from these people so much she was no threat to play her Shot in the Dark. Bhanu, who was playing a completely different game from everyone else and frustrated everyone along the way. Q, who was seemingly created in a lab to create chaos and conflict at every opportunity. Kenzie, who was looking to take out her best ally way too soon for reasons. And Tiffany, who was the most normal one on the island and had to deal with all of the mess around her, to where she had Bhanu outing her alliance with Q and Q outing her damn immunity idol!
Nami has:
Soda, lover of campfire singalongs. Hunter, hater of campfire singalongs. Liz, allergic to literally every food available on the island, who then votes out the two people helping her to collect the one thing she could eat. Venus and Tevin, seemingly cast to hate one another (even in the pre-merge, Rob Cesternino pointed out that Venus was particularly in trouble on this tribe compared to the rest of the cast because of how her personality fit). Randen, the token normie, who I think would have run into problems if he had stayed, though who knows with the idol if that might have saved him.
The end result is a ton of mess that has also spilled onto social media, much in the way the Dirty 30 did. Survivor may not intentionally cast villains, but they’re still very capable of casting mess, and that gives them the drama they’re looking for.
Edited to fix where I had accidentally called Nami Siga initially. This is what happens when I post before I’m awake.
submitted by thechriswilcox to survivor [link] [comments]
In his Funny 115 piece on Dan Foley, Mario Lanza had the observation that Worlds Apart was conceived as a Big Brother-like season, where people were cast specifically to create maximum conflict. That definitely feels like how Yanu and Nami were cast.
Yanu has:
Jelinksy, voted out first because he annoyed his tribe so much they got rid of arguably their biggest physical threat. Jess, who left the game mad at everyone but Bhanu and who was given a fake immunity idol for really no reason at all, because she wanted to get away from these people so much she was no threat to play her Shot in the Dark. Bhanu, who was playing a completely different game from everyone else and frustrated everyone along the way. Q, who was seemingly created in a lab to create chaos and conflict at every opportunity. Kenzie, who was looking to take out her best ally way too soon for reasons. And Tiffany, who was the most normal one on the island and had to deal with all of the mess around her, to where she had Bhanu outing her alliance with Q and Q outing her damn immunity idol!
Nami has:
Soda, lover of campfire singalongs. Hunter, hater of campfire singalongs. Liz, allergic to literally every food available on the island, who then votes out the two people helping her to collect the one thing she could eat. Venus and Tevin, seemingly cast to hate one another (even in the pre-merge, Rob Cesternino pointed out that Venus was particularly in trouble on this tribe compared to the rest of the cast because of how her personality fit). Randen, the token normie, who I think would have run into problems if he had stayed, though who knows with the idol if that might have saved him.
The end result is a ton of mess that has also spilled onto social media, much in the way the Dirty 30 did. Survivor may not intentionally cast villains, but they’re still very capable of casting mess, and that gives them the drama they’re looking for.
Edited to fix where I had accidentally called Nami Siga initially. This is what happens when I post before I’m awake.
2024.05.11 14:10 ButstheSlackGordsman Joy
Joy
“Please don’t do this to me! I’ll die out there!” Tiffany crumpled to the floor, phone shaking against her ear.
A gruff voice crackled. “I’m sorry Tiffany, our runner in your area got caught on his latest delivery. My other guy barely made it back. He saw Jimmy get hauled into the van. They’ve probably torn him apart by now.”
“Please…I don’t have any food left in the house. I’ll never make it out there. They’ll spot me immediately.”
“Listen, listen Tiff. It’s going to be OK. Listen to me alright? There’s a shop one block away from you.”
“I can’t!”
“You have to! OK, all you have to do is get in and get out. Put on the darkest sunglasses you have. You have shades right?”
Tiffany glanced up to the cabinet. Her terrified face reflected at her through the polarized lenses. “Uh-huh”
“That’s good, that’s real good. Now you put those on and grab enough food for a week while I find a replacement runner OK?”
“O-OK”
“And Tiffany?”
“Remember to smile, smile as wide as you can and never drop it. You know what happens if they suspect…”
“I know, thanks Mark.”
Tiffany hung up the phone with a shuddering exhale. She stood up and looked herself over in the mirror. A terrified blonde woman stared back, eyes wide with fear.
She wiped her tears and smoothed out her locks. She grasped her oversized sunglasses with trembling hands and put them on. She bent over, adjusting them carefully to ensure no trace of her eyes could be seen.
Glancing down, she looked over her list of food. Enough for a week…get in, get out…and smile.
Before turning to leave, she smiled into the mirror. The upturned mouth seemed almost foreign to her; she hadn’t laughed since everyone had been Torn. There weren’t many of her left in the world; the Joyous reigned supreme.
She stretched her smile as wide as it could go, until her cheeks strained with the effort. Exhaling through her teeth, she grasped the handle. The doorknob shook from her grip. Get it together…in and out…
She twisted the knob and threw the door open.
An eyeless face sprang up to meet her.
Tiffany screamed and jumped back.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”
Tiffany clutched her heaving chest, trying to calm herself. The woman standing in on her stoop had no eyes, only dark, empty sockets each gleaming with a glowing pinprick of light. An enormous smile spread from ear to ear.
Tiffany forced words from her paralyzed mind. “Oh, it’s alright, I was just about to get some shopping done!”
The woman stared unblinking with her flickering pits. She lifted a newspaper. “I saw this blow over onto the street, so I thought I’d bring this little ol’ newsie inside!” She let out a raucous laugh.
Tiffany accepted the paper, praying she looked relaxed. She took a quick glimpse at the headline.
Joy! New York Mayor Declares City over 99% Pure on 1-Year Anniversary!
“Aww, I see you have just been Freed. Congratulations dear. How do you like the colors?” The woman bent her head closer to Tiffany’s face. Her heart hammered in her throat as her eyes were drawn to the woman’s scars. Black lines spider webbed all across her body, down her arms, over her face, and plunged down her low cut shirt. “Aw, I remember when I was freed; I didn’t really have scars either. I found a great doctor who touched me up; I can share his number with you!” She lifted her neck, showing off her scars wrapped around her throat.
“Yes, the colors they’re so…beautiful. Yeah…the doctors said I was one of the lucky ones, guess tough skin runs in the family.” Tiffany tried to laugh as she spoke.
The woman leaned back; her smile somehow widening even more. “Ah! Tragic! Stay safe y’hear? A naughty somebody escaped the hospital recently, ah, there he is now. Isn’t he silly?” She pointed to the distance.
Tiffany turned her head in the direction of her arm. Her heart sank to her stomach.
The street rose in an incline. The distant figure of a man climbed into sight at the crest of the hill. His sandy hair was unmistakable.
Tiffany lifted a trembling hand to her mouth. Jimmy?
Jimmy was naked with blood pouring in rivets all down the front of his torso. As she squinted, she realized that Jimmy’s body wasn't moving; it hung limp, limbs dangling in the air. Her darting eyes widened as she saw his legs hovered off the road.
Four thick tendrils pulsated out of Jimmy’s gaping mouth. The dark trunks spilled out onto the ground, suspending his frame in midair. The shadowy pillars supported his body like makeshift legs. Jimmy lolled back and forth as the inhuman limbs propelled him down the hill like a beast.
Tiffany’s stomach churned in knots as he careened down the street. He couldn’t speak but his bulging eyes darting all around spoke all that was needed. Her gaze adhered to the incomprehensible stalks that moved of their own accord. The tentacles shimmered and writhed all over, smaller tendrils branching off, thrashing independently of one another.
Right as he passed Tiffany, he tripped and skidded to the ground. The husks all around her burst into raucous laughter at the sight of it clamoring back up.
The woman doubled over in giggles. “Ooh, you silly goose, don’t even know what’s good for ya!”
Jimmy’s chest bloated and bubbled. The bulge traveled up his throat, extending it to an inhuman width. A horrid squelching erupted as two pink sacs attached to tubes slithered out of his mouth, traveling along the lengths of the trunks. Tiffany could barely support her own weight at the sight of Jimmy’s lungs pulsating in frantic breaths.
Her horrified gaze watched as the lungs enlarged in a deep breath, a gurgling crescendoing in pitch. They expanded to full size and hung still for an instant. Then exploded in desperate screams.
“HELP ME! PLEASE, I’M ALIVE LIKE YO-”
With the roar of an engine and the screech of tires, a vehicle slammed into Jimmy’s body. A spray of blood rained on Tiffany and the crowd. A white van screeched to a halt just as Jimmy flew through the air, all eight limbs flailing in the wind.
No amount of bracing could prepare Tiffany for the sound of bones crushing as Jimmy landed in a bloody mess on the asphalt. The crowd of husks whooped and hollered. The drivers clambered out of the vehicle and took deep bows, grinning broadly.
Wiping off blood, Tiffany inspected the logo on the van. It displayed two cartoon men each standing on the side of another person. The person was divided into two halves. One side was human with a smiling face while the other was a shadowy figure, screaming in agony. The smiling men each pulled on an arm as if separating the halves.
“Sorry folks! We had a feisty one here, we’ll take care of it from here!” He drew a syringe from his pocket.
“That’s OK! Need a hand?” The woman called back to enthusiastic nods from the crowd. The van driver waved his arm in the direction of Jimmy’s limb body.
Tiffany blinked back burning tears as she watched Jimmy twitch on the ground. The husks closed in around him, laughing as they surrounded him. She wanted nothing more than to just retreat inside and vomit. But an opportunity presented itself.
Streams of people poured out of the shop ahead, drawn to the spectacle on the street. The sidewalks leading up to the store cleared. Her path would never be this open again. Tearing her eyes from Jimmy, she walked as fast as possible to the market, her smile twitching in anguish.
After what felt like hours, she stood at the entrance to the food mart. She moved her jaw around to loosen it, almost flinching as it popped. OK…in and out…then you’re safe. Running over her mental list one last time, she barged inside.
A wave of frigid air washed over her. She scanned the shop, exhaling out a sigh of relief as she confirmed it was mostly empty. Only a mother pushing a stroller joined her in the market.
Tiffany whipped out a shopping cart and sped down aisle by aisle. Eyes darting, she grasped each item on her list as if it were manna from heaven. Her breathing eased as she made it to the other side of the store without incident. A small bit of happiness welled up within her as she looked over her bulging wagon. It was enough to last her two weeks, two blissful weeks of safety. All she had to do was get out.
She strolled to the checkout lane. The mother was in front of her, the groceries crinkling as they were bagged by the cheerful cashier. Tiffany’s knuckles gripped the cart so hard they turned white. Please…just pay and leave…
Tiffany’s heart skipped a beat as the mother twisted her neck to look at her. Empty sockets crinkled as the young woman’s smile widened. “Why hello there! Any idea what the ruckus is out there?” A collective cheer erupted outside in the distance.
Tiffany shook her head, trying to push Jimmy’s battered body out of her thoughts.
She glanced at Tiffany’s cart. “Big haul. You having a party?”
Tiffany nodded, almost forgetting to breathe.
“Am I invited? Where do you live?”
Tiffany gulped. The mother roared with laughter. “Oh dearie me, I’m just kidding you. I’d love to go but this little man down here takes up all my time. Wanna say hi?”
Tiffany nodded again, her cheeks screaming with the strain of her fake smile. The mother lifted the hood of the stroller and wheeled it around, facing Tiffany. An eyeless baby cooed up at her, its sockets nearly taking up half its face. Black scars lined its entire body, lashing its face that carved itself into a wide smile.
Tiffany screamed in terror, flinging herself back.
CLACK!
Light streamed into her eyes as they watered. Time almost stopped as she glanced down at her sunglasses. Shuddering, she looked back up. The mother, baby, and cashier stared at her.
Without taking his sockets off her, the cashier pressed a button on the counter. An intercom crackled to life. “Attention all employees. We have someone in pain over here. Please call the authorities while we restrain her.”
Tiffany threw the cart to the ground, sprinting to the glass double doors. Talon-like fingers dug into her shoulder right as she reached the exit. “NO! PLEASE LET ME GO! PLEASE!”
But the mother just giggled into her ear. “Now why would I do that, sweetie? Don’t worry, we’re going to help you. See? They’re already here to heal you!”
Tiffany’s heart sank into her stomach as she watched the same van that crashed into Jimmy park outside. Two men dressed in scrubs burst out the back, wheeling out a gurney. Her eyes bulged as she gazed at the restraints gleaming cruelly in the morning light.
The smiling men jaunted over to her. Tiffany ground her heel into the mother’s toes; the arms holding her released. She rushed forward to the man on the left, throwing a wild punch in desperation.
To her surprise, her knuckles connected, slamming the man’s head back to its side. Rough hands grabbed her arms by the elbows, jerking them behind her.
The man she’d punched twisted his head back, the unnatural smile still plastered on his face. “Now, now simmer down, young lady. He snatched her kicking feet and lifted her in tandem with the other man.
With inhuman strength, they slammed her onto the gurney. She flailed, straining her limbs against their grasp. Her shoulders popped in their sockets, her screams erupting in pain and fear.
CLICK!
Cold metal clamped down on her right wrist. Three more clicks restrained her completely.
“No, no, no, please! Just let me go! I’ll never bother you again!” Tiffany half screamed and half sobbed.
One man chuckled. “Oops! Gotta make some room!”
She wailed as she watched the men drag Jimmy’s corpse out of the back and toss it on the sidewalk. The doors slammed shut, and the vehicle sped off.
Desperation gave way to despair for Tiffany, she wept bitterly. She gasped as the men wiped away tears on each side of her face. They lifted their fingers to their eyeless pits, staring in wonder at the droplet forming, mouths parted and making soft cooing sounds.
“I remember my last tear, what about you Ted?” The man on her right whispered.
The man on the left nodded, sucking his finger. “Yeah…I almost miss the taste.” They both roared in laughter at the same time.
The van jolted to a halt. The men flung the doors open. “Don’t worry missy, it will all be over soon!”
She shook her head, pleading for anyone she passed to help her as she was wheeled into the hospital. All she received were condescending smiles, and pats on the hand. She was sped into an operating room. Her eyes widened in terror at the sight of the tearing chair.
A medical bed lay in the middle of the chamber. A bar of light hung at the bed’s foot. The bar crossed over the width of the bed, attached to a track that ran along the length from the bottom to the top. Her heart sank. She’d expected cutting instruments but the lack of them frightened her even more.
A grinning doctor finished washing her hands in the nearby sink, pulling latex gloves on. “Oh dearie me, look at this poor soul. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten freed one so large! The gals will take it from here, boys!” The men giggled as they left the room.
Masked women in scrubs burst from the doors to assist. Even behind the masks, their smiles were visible. They all carried scissors. Within seconds, they snipped off all of her clothes leaving her naked in the gurney.
The doctor lifted a syringe, the end dripping with sedative. “Now we need you to be still for this next part sweetie!” She rammed the needle into her hip and thumbed the plunger down. She gasped as the burning liquid clouded into her bloodstream. At once, her extremities deadened, all feeling and control gone.
A pair of arms gripped each of her limbs as she was lifted off the gurney and thrown onto the medical bed. The doctor looked down at her at the foot of the bed, grasping the bar of light. It pulsated in waves of color as she clinked it into place over Tiffany’s feet so that the luminescence only hovered an inch over her skin.
The soles of her feet writhed in agony in the light’s presence. Tiffany screamed at the burning tendrils within her feet. A horrific thought pierced her torment in a single moment of clarity. Something is moving inside me. Using the last vestiges of motor control left, she lifted her head an inch, eyes glued to her feet.
Various ridges rolled around on the tops of her feet, almost as if something flailed to get away from the brilliant light. The doctor traced a finger over the thrashing bulges. “Yes, the time for your last pain draws near, little one. No longer will you torment this young woman. No longer.” She placed both hands on the instrument bar. “Now, I must warn you. This will hurt…more than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. But what awaits you on the other side is…” She laughed.
“Please…” Tiffany whimpered, but the doctor pushed the bar of light up her legs.
Torture. Pure agony. Tiffany screamed to the point she thought her jaw might pop off its hinges. The writhing in her feet intensified, pulling and tearing at her skin…
A spurt of blood spewed over the doctor’s face. “Ah, we’ve crowned!”
“WHAT IS THIS?!” Tiffany screeched as she looked down. Blackened tentacles whipped violently back and forth, sprouting from her feet.
“Oh, it’s the sickness my sweet…it must be purged. Deep breath and here we go!” She pushed the bar of light even further along its track, this time going up her legs.
Molten lines of agony traced themselves up her legs in tandem with the glow. Tiffany’s eyes rolled up into her head and then back down again, casting her world in revolving darkness and light. The skin at her legs tore, thicker tendrils bursting out in viscous spray.
The dark veins slapped at the doctor's face but a smiling nurse grasped the flailing trunks and pinned them down as the doctor pressed on above her knees and up her thighs. Her skin bubbled and burst as the bleeding mass on each limb fled from the light. Tiffany stared transfixed at the monster birthed from her, the spindly body, the erratic, desperate movement of a trapped beast.
The bar stopped just below her groin. “This is probably the worst part dearie, brace yourself.’ She yanked it forward, up to her abdomen.
Tiffany’s voice tore, her throat bleeding raw. She’s never given birth before; the monster springing out from her womanhood made a poor substitute for a child.
“There you go baby. You’re doing so well. Halfway done!”
The instrument slid up her stomach, passing over her arms. The sickness within gripped her organs in a vain attempt to resist being torn out. Strands of obsidian wrested themselves out of her torso only to be collected and restrained by the unflinching nurses. Up her body they all went, up her chest, her shoulders, and on to her neck.
Right at the base of her chin, the bar of light chinked as it came to the end of its track. The beast within Tiffany screeched, straining at the nurses restraints. Forgetting the pain for an instant, Tiffany croaked through torn vocal chords. “What is this thing?”
The doctor wiped blood out of her sockets. “It’s your parasite, what you thought you were. I know it hurts; this thing feeds off pain. Don’t worry. We’re almost done.”
She pivoted two smaller bars of lights up to Tiffany’s head, one on each side. They swung in such a way that they would meet in the middle. Her eyes swiveled independently of each other, as if they too feared the light. The doctor smiled at the erratic movement.
“Oh, yes.” She whispered. “Feel fear. It’s what you deserve; it’s all you deserve.” She grasped each bar and clamped them together.
Blinding pressure built up in Tiffany’s eardrums as if she were being stabbed in each ear with knives aching to meet in the middle. An incessant ringing tingled, building up pitch and intensity until it was all she could hear. Her brain lit aflame, seething at the burning from the sound. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” Her mouth uttered the words, but she couldn’t hear her voice anymore.
Like a cord being unplugged from a speaker, her world fell silent one pull at a time. Black tendrils whipped in her sight as the beast fled from her ear canals. The lights passed in her vision.
The doctor spoke unheard words. She tried to close her eyes, but they weren’t hers anymore. They swiveled all about in their sockets, trying to escape her skull.
But there was no escape, not for a parasite. The lights slammed shut, meeting in the middle right over her. The kaleidoscope of luminescence overtook everything. Her world melded to an ever changing sea of merging lights.
Her thoughts, her consciousness, her very essence whirled in her brain. A dark hole sprouted in her psyche. Her being swirled around the murky depths of her existence spinning to the choreography of the lights pulse. Round and round it went until she thought her last words. Who am I? All grew dark.
—---------
The operating room light blinded Tiffany. She tried to close her eyes but found she had no lids.
She saw the metal tray she lay on.
She saw the black, spindly lengths of her body laying in a tangled heap in the tray.
She saw Tiffany laying on the medical table. What?
Her psyche ran stark with shock as she watched herself sit up from the medical table. Her eyes were gone, replaced with two glowing pits burning in deep sockets. Blood trails criss crossed all over her venous scars. Tears of crimson flowed from her pits as she sobbed into her hands.
No…that’s me? But then…who am I?
She glanced up and received her horrifying answer. An operating mirror hung on the ceiling above her. What she had once thought as herself was now nothing more than a pair of eyeballs attached to a spinal stem with nervous branches tangled and heaped in a small tray.
She was the parasite.
The real Tiffany sobbed, a wide smile stretching across her face. “Colors…so many colors…”
The doctor handed her a pair of sunglasses. “Here, put these on and keep them on for the next couple of weeks. The parasites could only see a thin spectrum of light. You can see all of it now, it’s a bit overwhelming at first but you get used to it.”
The real Tiffany placed the sunglasses on her face then clutched at her chest. “What….what is this feeling? It burns yet…it’s warm all over..”
The doctor knelt at the real Tiffany’s side. “It’s happiness…” She giggled. “Pure happiness, it’s what that parasite over there denied you.” The doctor shot a glare to the nerve bundle that used to be Tiffany.
The real Tiffany released her chest. “How long has it been inside of me?”
The doctor stood up. “We aren’t sure when these parasites fused with humans but it must have been millennia ago. They have been entwined with us so long we even once thought they were part of our bodies. The nervous system, what a cruel joke. These things thrive off of our happiness and only feed us pain in return.”
The doctor shot the nerve bundle a look. Even though she smiled, Tiffany could feel the doctor’s contempt radiating. “Look how pathetic it is. Can’t even move anymore. These things rely on our central brain systems to move. Once separated, they are immobile. It’s rather ironic that they only try to move as we cut into their feeding supply.”
The real Tiffany hugged the doctor who returned the embrace. “Thank you…for freeing me.” The doctor rubbed her back.
They released each other. The real Tiffany looked over at the nerve bundle that used to be her. “What do we do with…it?”
The doctor grasped the nerve bundle unceremoniously in her palm. Wait…no! I’m-I’m me!
“We will cast her into the depths to which she came from of course!” The doctor laughed as she brought the nerve bundle to a trash chute. The nerve bundle glanced down, recoiling in horror. No light graced her final destination.
“Good riddance.” The nerve bundle was released and cast into the void. It landed with a plop amongst the other writhing bundles, rueing the day it ever thought it truly existed.
submitted by ButstheSlackGordsman to JordanGrupeHorror [link] [comments]
“Please don’t do this to me! I’ll die out there!” Tiffany crumpled to the floor, phone shaking against her ear.
A gruff voice crackled. “I’m sorry Tiffany, our runner in your area got caught on his latest delivery. My other guy barely made it back. He saw Jimmy get hauled into the van. They’ve probably torn him apart by now.”
“Please…I don’t have any food left in the house. I’ll never make it out there. They’ll spot me immediately.”
“Listen, listen Tiff. It’s going to be OK. Listen to me alright? There’s a shop one block away from you.”
“I can’t!”
“You have to! OK, all you have to do is get in and get out. Put on the darkest sunglasses you have. You have shades right?”
Tiffany glanced up to the cabinet. Her terrified face reflected at her through the polarized lenses. “Uh-huh”
“That’s good, that’s real good. Now you put those on and grab enough food for a week while I find a replacement runner OK?”
“O-OK”
“And Tiffany?”
“Remember to smile, smile as wide as you can and never drop it. You know what happens if they suspect…”
“I know, thanks Mark.”
Tiffany hung up the phone with a shuddering exhale. She stood up and looked herself over in the mirror. A terrified blonde woman stared back, eyes wide with fear.
She wiped her tears and smoothed out her locks. She grasped her oversized sunglasses with trembling hands and put them on. She bent over, adjusting them carefully to ensure no trace of her eyes could be seen.
Glancing down, she looked over her list of food. Enough for a week…get in, get out…and smile.
Before turning to leave, she smiled into the mirror. The upturned mouth seemed almost foreign to her; she hadn’t laughed since everyone had been Torn. There weren’t many of her left in the world; the Joyous reigned supreme.
She stretched her smile as wide as it could go, until her cheeks strained with the effort. Exhaling through her teeth, she grasped the handle. The doorknob shook from her grip. Get it together…in and out…
She twisted the knob and threw the door open.
An eyeless face sprang up to meet her.
Tiffany screamed and jumped back.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”
Tiffany clutched her heaving chest, trying to calm herself. The woman standing in on her stoop had no eyes, only dark, empty sockets each gleaming with a glowing pinprick of light. An enormous smile spread from ear to ear.
Tiffany forced words from her paralyzed mind. “Oh, it’s alright, I was just about to get some shopping done!”
The woman stared unblinking with her flickering pits. She lifted a newspaper. “I saw this blow over onto the street, so I thought I’d bring this little ol’ newsie inside!” She let out a raucous laugh.
Tiffany accepted the paper, praying she looked relaxed. She took a quick glimpse at the headline.
Joy! New York Mayor Declares City over 99% Pure on 1-Year Anniversary!
“Aww, I see you have just been Freed. Congratulations dear. How do you like the colors?” The woman bent her head closer to Tiffany’s face. Her heart hammered in her throat as her eyes were drawn to the woman’s scars. Black lines spider webbed all across her body, down her arms, over her face, and plunged down her low cut shirt. “Aw, I remember when I was freed; I didn’t really have scars either. I found a great doctor who touched me up; I can share his number with you!” She lifted her neck, showing off her scars wrapped around her throat.
“Yes, the colors they’re so…beautiful. Yeah…the doctors said I was one of the lucky ones, guess tough skin runs in the family.” Tiffany tried to laugh as she spoke.
The woman leaned back; her smile somehow widening even more. “Ah! Tragic! Stay safe y’hear? A naughty somebody escaped the hospital recently, ah, there he is now. Isn’t he silly?” She pointed to the distance.
Tiffany turned her head in the direction of her arm. Her heart sank to her stomach.
The street rose in an incline. The distant figure of a man climbed into sight at the crest of the hill. His sandy hair was unmistakable.
Tiffany lifted a trembling hand to her mouth. Jimmy?
Jimmy was naked with blood pouring in rivets all down the front of his torso. As she squinted, she realized that Jimmy’s body wasn't moving; it hung limp, limbs dangling in the air. Her darting eyes widened as she saw his legs hovered off the road.
Four thick tendrils pulsated out of Jimmy’s gaping mouth. The dark trunks spilled out onto the ground, suspending his frame in midair. The shadowy pillars supported his body like makeshift legs. Jimmy lolled back and forth as the inhuman limbs propelled him down the hill like a beast.
Tiffany’s stomach churned in knots as he careened down the street. He couldn’t speak but his bulging eyes darting all around spoke all that was needed. Her gaze adhered to the incomprehensible stalks that moved of their own accord. The tentacles shimmered and writhed all over, smaller tendrils branching off, thrashing independently of one another.
Right as he passed Tiffany, he tripped and skidded to the ground. The husks all around her burst into raucous laughter at the sight of it clamoring back up.
The woman doubled over in giggles. “Ooh, you silly goose, don’t even know what’s good for ya!”
Jimmy’s chest bloated and bubbled. The bulge traveled up his throat, extending it to an inhuman width. A horrid squelching erupted as two pink sacs attached to tubes slithered out of his mouth, traveling along the lengths of the trunks. Tiffany could barely support her own weight at the sight of Jimmy’s lungs pulsating in frantic breaths.
Her horrified gaze watched as the lungs enlarged in a deep breath, a gurgling crescendoing in pitch. They expanded to full size and hung still for an instant. Then exploded in desperate screams.
“HELP ME! PLEASE, I’M ALIVE LIKE YO-”
With the roar of an engine and the screech of tires, a vehicle slammed into Jimmy’s body. A spray of blood rained on Tiffany and the crowd. A white van screeched to a halt just as Jimmy flew through the air, all eight limbs flailing in the wind.
No amount of bracing could prepare Tiffany for the sound of bones crushing as Jimmy landed in a bloody mess on the asphalt. The crowd of husks whooped and hollered. The drivers clambered out of the vehicle and took deep bows, grinning broadly.
Wiping off blood, Tiffany inspected the logo on the van. It displayed two cartoon men each standing on the side of another person. The person was divided into two halves. One side was human with a smiling face while the other was a shadowy figure, screaming in agony. The smiling men each pulled on an arm as if separating the halves.
“Sorry folks! We had a feisty one here, we’ll take care of it from here!” He drew a syringe from his pocket.
“That’s OK! Need a hand?” The woman called back to enthusiastic nods from the crowd. The van driver waved his arm in the direction of Jimmy’s limb body.
Tiffany blinked back burning tears as she watched Jimmy twitch on the ground. The husks closed in around him, laughing as they surrounded him. She wanted nothing more than to just retreat inside and vomit. But an opportunity presented itself.
Streams of people poured out of the shop ahead, drawn to the spectacle on the street. The sidewalks leading up to the store cleared. Her path would never be this open again. Tearing her eyes from Jimmy, she walked as fast as possible to the market, her smile twitching in anguish.
After what felt like hours, she stood at the entrance to the food mart. She moved her jaw around to loosen it, almost flinching as it popped. OK…in and out…then you’re safe. Running over her mental list one last time, she barged inside.
A wave of frigid air washed over her. She scanned the shop, exhaling out a sigh of relief as she confirmed it was mostly empty. Only a mother pushing a stroller joined her in the market.
Tiffany whipped out a shopping cart and sped down aisle by aisle. Eyes darting, she grasped each item on her list as if it were manna from heaven. Her breathing eased as she made it to the other side of the store without incident. A small bit of happiness welled up within her as she looked over her bulging wagon. It was enough to last her two weeks, two blissful weeks of safety. All she had to do was get out.
She strolled to the checkout lane. The mother was in front of her, the groceries crinkling as they were bagged by the cheerful cashier. Tiffany’s knuckles gripped the cart so hard they turned white. Please…just pay and leave…
Tiffany’s heart skipped a beat as the mother twisted her neck to look at her. Empty sockets crinkled as the young woman’s smile widened. “Why hello there! Any idea what the ruckus is out there?” A collective cheer erupted outside in the distance.
Tiffany shook her head, trying to push Jimmy’s battered body out of her thoughts.
She glanced at Tiffany’s cart. “Big haul. You having a party?”
Tiffany nodded, almost forgetting to breathe.
“Am I invited? Where do you live?”
Tiffany gulped. The mother roared with laughter. “Oh dearie me, I’m just kidding you. I’d love to go but this little man down here takes up all my time. Wanna say hi?”
Tiffany nodded again, her cheeks screaming with the strain of her fake smile. The mother lifted the hood of the stroller and wheeled it around, facing Tiffany. An eyeless baby cooed up at her, its sockets nearly taking up half its face. Black scars lined its entire body, lashing its face that carved itself into a wide smile.
Tiffany screamed in terror, flinging herself back.
CLACK!
Light streamed into her eyes as they watered. Time almost stopped as she glanced down at her sunglasses. Shuddering, she looked back up. The mother, baby, and cashier stared at her.
Without taking his sockets off her, the cashier pressed a button on the counter. An intercom crackled to life. “Attention all employees. We have someone in pain over here. Please call the authorities while we restrain her.”
Tiffany threw the cart to the ground, sprinting to the glass double doors. Talon-like fingers dug into her shoulder right as she reached the exit. “NO! PLEASE LET ME GO! PLEASE!”
But the mother just giggled into her ear. “Now why would I do that, sweetie? Don’t worry, we’re going to help you. See? They’re already here to heal you!”
Tiffany’s heart sank into her stomach as she watched the same van that crashed into Jimmy park outside. Two men dressed in scrubs burst out the back, wheeling out a gurney. Her eyes bulged as she gazed at the restraints gleaming cruelly in the morning light.
The smiling men jaunted over to her. Tiffany ground her heel into the mother’s toes; the arms holding her released. She rushed forward to the man on the left, throwing a wild punch in desperation.
To her surprise, her knuckles connected, slamming the man’s head back to its side. Rough hands grabbed her arms by the elbows, jerking them behind her.
The man she’d punched twisted his head back, the unnatural smile still plastered on his face. “Now, now simmer down, young lady. He snatched her kicking feet and lifted her in tandem with the other man.
With inhuman strength, they slammed her onto the gurney. She flailed, straining her limbs against their grasp. Her shoulders popped in their sockets, her screams erupting in pain and fear.
CLICK!
Cold metal clamped down on her right wrist. Three more clicks restrained her completely.
“No, no, no, please! Just let me go! I’ll never bother you again!” Tiffany half screamed and half sobbed.
One man chuckled. “Oops! Gotta make some room!”
She wailed as she watched the men drag Jimmy’s corpse out of the back and toss it on the sidewalk. The doors slammed shut, and the vehicle sped off.
Desperation gave way to despair for Tiffany, she wept bitterly. She gasped as the men wiped away tears on each side of her face. They lifted their fingers to their eyeless pits, staring in wonder at the droplet forming, mouths parted and making soft cooing sounds.
“I remember my last tear, what about you Ted?” The man on her right whispered.
The man on the left nodded, sucking his finger. “Yeah…I almost miss the taste.” They both roared in laughter at the same time.
The van jolted to a halt. The men flung the doors open. “Don’t worry missy, it will all be over soon!”
She shook her head, pleading for anyone she passed to help her as she was wheeled into the hospital. All she received were condescending smiles, and pats on the hand. She was sped into an operating room. Her eyes widened in terror at the sight of the tearing chair.
A medical bed lay in the middle of the chamber. A bar of light hung at the bed’s foot. The bar crossed over the width of the bed, attached to a track that ran along the length from the bottom to the top. Her heart sank. She’d expected cutting instruments but the lack of them frightened her even more.
A grinning doctor finished washing her hands in the nearby sink, pulling latex gloves on. “Oh dearie me, look at this poor soul. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten freed one so large! The gals will take it from here, boys!” The men giggled as they left the room.
Masked women in scrubs burst from the doors to assist. Even behind the masks, their smiles were visible. They all carried scissors. Within seconds, they snipped off all of her clothes leaving her naked in the gurney.
The doctor lifted a syringe, the end dripping with sedative. “Now we need you to be still for this next part sweetie!” She rammed the needle into her hip and thumbed the plunger down. She gasped as the burning liquid clouded into her bloodstream. At once, her extremities deadened, all feeling and control gone.
A pair of arms gripped each of her limbs as she was lifted off the gurney and thrown onto the medical bed. The doctor looked down at her at the foot of the bed, grasping the bar of light. It pulsated in waves of color as she clinked it into place over Tiffany’s feet so that the luminescence only hovered an inch over her skin.
The soles of her feet writhed in agony in the light’s presence. Tiffany screamed at the burning tendrils within her feet. A horrific thought pierced her torment in a single moment of clarity. Something is moving inside me. Using the last vestiges of motor control left, she lifted her head an inch, eyes glued to her feet.
Various ridges rolled around on the tops of her feet, almost as if something flailed to get away from the brilliant light. The doctor traced a finger over the thrashing bulges. “Yes, the time for your last pain draws near, little one. No longer will you torment this young woman. No longer.” She placed both hands on the instrument bar. “Now, I must warn you. This will hurt…more than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. But what awaits you on the other side is…” She laughed.
“Please…” Tiffany whimpered, but the doctor pushed the bar of light up her legs.
Torture. Pure agony. Tiffany screamed to the point she thought her jaw might pop off its hinges. The writhing in her feet intensified, pulling and tearing at her skin…
A spurt of blood spewed over the doctor’s face. “Ah, we’ve crowned!”
“WHAT IS THIS?!” Tiffany screeched as she looked down. Blackened tentacles whipped violently back and forth, sprouting from her feet.
“Oh, it’s the sickness my sweet…it must be purged. Deep breath and here we go!” She pushed the bar of light even further along its track, this time going up her legs.
Molten lines of agony traced themselves up her legs in tandem with the glow. Tiffany’s eyes rolled up into her head and then back down again, casting her world in revolving darkness and light. The skin at her legs tore, thicker tendrils bursting out in viscous spray.
The dark veins slapped at the doctor's face but a smiling nurse grasped the flailing trunks and pinned them down as the doctor pressed on above her knees and up her thighs. Her skin bubbled and burst as the bleeding mass on each limb fled from the light. Tiffany stared transfixed at the monster birthed from her, the spindly body, the erratic, desperate movement of a trapped beast.
The bar stopped just below her groin. “This is probably the worst part dearie, brace yourself.’ She yanked it forward, up to her abdomen.
Tiffany’s voice tore, her throat bleeding raw. She’s never given birth before; the monster springing out from her womanhood made a poor substitute for a child.
“There you go baby. You’re doing so well. Halfway done!”
The instrument slid up her stomach, passing over her arms. The sickness within gripped her organs in a vain attempt to resist being torn out. Strands of obsidian wrested themselves out of her torso only to be collected and restrained by the unflinching nurses. Up her body they all went, up her chest, her shoulders, and on to her neck.
Right at the base of her chin, the bar of light chinked as it came to the end of its track. The beast within Tiffany screeched, straining at the nurses restraints. Forgetting the pain for an instant, Tiffany croaked through torn vocal chords. “What is this thing?”
The doctor wiped blood out of her sockets. “It’s your parasite, what you thought you were. I know it hurts; this thing feeds off pain. Don’t worry. We’re almost done.”
She pivoted two smaller bars of lights up to Tiffany’s head, one on each side. They swung in such a way that they would meet in the middle. Her eyes swiveled independently of each other, as if they too feared the light. The doctor smiled at the erratic movement.
“Oh, yes.” She whispered. “Feel fear. It’s what you deserve; it’s all you deserve.” She grasped each bar and clamped them together.
Blinding pressure built up in Tiffany’s eardrums as if she were being stabbed in each ear with knives aching to meet in the middle. An incessant ringing tingled, building up pitch and intensity until it was all she could hear. Her brain lit aflame, seething at the burning from the sound. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” Her mouth uttered the words, but she couldn’t hear her voice anymore.
Like a cord being unplugged from a speaker, her world fell silent one pull at a time. Black tendrils whipped in her sight as the beast fled from her ear canals. The lights passed in her vision.
The doctor spoke unheard words. She tried to close her eyes, but they weren’t hers anymore. They swiveled all about in their sockets, trying to escape her skull.
But there was no escape, not for a parasite. The lights slammed shut, meeting in the middle right over her. The kaleidoscope of luminescence overtook everything. Her world melded to an ever changing sea of merging lights.
Her thoughts, her consciousness, her very essence whirled in her brain. A dark hole sprouted in her psyche. Her being swirled around the murky depths of her existence spinning to the choreography of the lights pulse. Round and round it went until she thought her last words. Who am I? All grew dark.
—---------
The operating room light blinded Tiffany. She tried to close her eyes but found she had no lids.
She saw the metal tray she lay on.
She saw the black, spindly lengths of her body laying in a tangled heap in the tray.
She saw Tiffany laying on the medical table. What?
Her psyche ran stark with shock as she watched herself sit up from the medical table. Her eyes were gone, replaced with two glowing pits burning in deep sockets. Blood trails criss crossed all over her venous scars. Tears of crimson flowed from her pits as she sobbed into her hands.
No…that’s me? But then…who am I?
She glanced up and received her horrifying answer. An operating mirror hung on the ceiling above her. What she had once thought as herself was now nothing more than a pair of eyeballs attached to a spinal stem with nervous branches tangled and heaped in a small tray.
She was the parasite.
The real Tiffany sobbed, a wide smile stretching across her face. “Colors…so many colors…”
The doctor handed her a pair of sunglasses. “Here, put these on and keep them on for the next couple of weeks. The parasites could only see a thin spectrum of light. You can see all of it now, it’s a bit overwhelming at first but you get used to it.”
The real Tiffany placed the sunglasses on her face then clutched at her chest. “What….what is this feeling? It burns yet…it’s warm all over..”
The doctor knelt at the real Tiffany’s side. “It’s happiness…” She giggled. “Pure happiness, it’s what that parasite over there denied you.” The doctor shot a glare to the nerve bundle that used to be Tiffany.
The real Tiffany released her chest. “How long has it been inside of me?”
The doctor stood up. “We aren’t sure when these parasites fused with humans but it must have been millennia ago. They have been entwined with us so long we even once thought they were part of our bodies. The nervous system, what a cruel joke. These things thrive off of our happiness and only feed us pain in return.”
The doctor shot the nerve bundle a look. Even though she smiled, Tiffany could feel the doctor’s contempt radiating. “Look how pathetic it is. Can’t even move anymore. These things rely on our central brain systems to move. Once separated, they are immobile. It’s rather ironic that they only try to move as we cut into their feeding supply.”
The real Tiffany hugged the doctor who returned the embrace. “Thank you…for freeing me.” The doctor rubbed her back.
They released each other. The real Tiffany looked over at the nerve bundle that used to be her. “What do we do with…it?”
The doctor grasped the nerve bundle unceremoniously in her palm. Wait…no! I’m-I’m me!
“We will cast her into the depths to which she came from of course!” The doctor laughed as she brought the nerve bundle to a trash chute. The nerve bundle glanced down, recoiling in horror. No light graced her final destination.
“Good riddance.” The nerve bundle was released and cast into the void. It landed with a plop amongst the other writhing bundles, rueing the day it ever thought it truly existed.
2024.05.11 00:59 ApplicationEasy4114 I bought all the Cartier Tank look-alikes.
 | I wanted to help out people like me who were looking for a Cartier Tank alternative. I have attached the photos of the best alternatives to the tank. No, I did not buy the "Sanda" tank because it is a cheap clone. You can lie to yourself and call it homage to sound fancy but wearing fake watches is so tacky and unclassy. A watch is like men's jewelry, BUY WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD. submitted by ApplicationEasy4114 to casio [link] [comments] (Seiko tank) Seiko SSEH001 - I have swapped the strap with a matt textured leather strap from Quality Watch Straps & Replacement Tools - Condor Straps Casio's old tank alternative - The first watch I bought to test out the tank-style design. Casio LTP B165L - This is the best size but the STUPID colors are really making it difficult. I bough the Tiffany dial and it looks greenish-blue and honestly, does not look that good. I think I will return or sell this and buy the beige dial. |
2024.05.10 15:17 kittehgoesmeow What A Day: There Will Be Flood by Crooked Media (05/09/24)
"I don't care if they want to call it Christian nationalism." - MAGA pastor and congressional candidate Mark Burns, who vowed to use the “word of God to push back on any laws that are contrary to His word.”
It has become shockingly easy to generate deepfake content of politicians, newsmakers, or anyone else. Arizona Secretary of State Adrian Fontes proved exactly that point to unnerved election officials at an election safety seminar this week. TikTok’s new policy makes it slightly trickier to blast totally artificial content into global public view, but hardly impossible, especially for determined bad actors.
Of course, this change does nothing to counter another very real danger: how authentic content is selectively delivered to inflame specific audiences. After all, this will be an election in which one of the two main candidacies is based on false information about the 2020 election and orbited by a constellation of other lies. TikTok, of course, is clearly looking for “responsible actor” press while facing a potential forced sale or ban in the U.S. But, still, hooray for TikTok, thanks for reminding us how full of artificially-enhanced videos of dancing cats you truly are.
The Biden Administration is expected to soon release a new rule designed to speed up the processing of asylum claims for many migrants crossing the southern border, NBC News reported, citing unnamed sources. The move is designed to make it faster and easier to deny entry to migrants with criminal records or who are deemed a national security risk.
Medical school graduates are starting to avoid states with abortion bans or new post-Dobbs restrictions when choosing their residencies, according to data from the Association of American Medical Colleges. New residencies are down 4.2% in states with near-total abortion bans, compared to just 0.6% overall. The difference is even deeper for graduates entering OB/GYN residencies.
An appeals court rejected Hunter Biden’s attempt to throw out federal gun charges, clearing the way for him to go to trial next month. Biden is charged with false statements and with illegally possessing a firearm while using drugs in 2018. He faces separate federal tax charges in California.
Donald Trump got some moral (well, amoral, at best) support from friends at his Manhattan election interference trial today. MAGA Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL) and Jeanine Pirro (R-FoxNews) both turned up at the courthouse today. So far Eric Trump is only one of Trump’s kids to attend. Melania has been noticeably absent. She’s probably just SUPER busy.
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Doctors in China appear to have cured Type II diabetes in a patient using stem cell transplants.
The state of Utah set up a tip line to encourage Utahans to snitch on trans people who “violate” the state’s public bathroom law. Trans activists and allies responded to this by flooding the line with thousands of fake reports, rendering the whole thing as useless in reality as it was cruel and wrong-headed in conception. Even the state auditor tasked with following up these calls accused the legislature of taking a “ham-handed approach.” Prank calls for good, we love to see it!
submitted by kittehgoesmeow to FriendsofthePod [link] [comments]
Crude Corruption
Disgraced former president Donald Trump asked oil executives for $1 billion to help his campaign. You’ll never guess what he offered them in exchange (hint: it’s the climate).- You don’t need a snarky evening newsletter to tell you how incredibly high the stakes are for the 2024 election. For climate policy, they couldn’t be higher. Sea surface temperatures and polar ice-melt rates are soaring. While President Biden has enacted dozens of new rules on cars, power plants, and infrastructure to stave off the “existential threat” of climate change, disgraced former President Donald Trump calls it “a hoax” and amassed a sorry record of undoing climate regulations and making life generally easier (and cheaper!) for polluters. But now there’s evidence of just how neatly Trump’s disdain for climate science meshes with his love of corruption. And it all spells a major election hurdle — and opportunity — for the Biden campaign.
- Today the Washington Post reported on a meeting last month at Mar-a-Lago where Trump promised a roomful of oil executives he'd undo dozens of environmental rules and regulations if only the executives raised $1 billion for his presidential bid. Trump told the captains of the fossil fuel industry the whole thing would be a “deal” for them considering how much money they’d make in a second Trump administration. It’s hard to imagine a more mustache-twisting example of naked corruption and disregard for the lives of untold millions of people at the mercy of climate change. Many, many fair-minded voters would find the contrast between Biden and Trump just as stark. Except, according to polls, many have little idea it exists.
- New polling shows that most voters aren’t that well aware of Biden’s four biggest domestic achievements, including the Inflation Reduction Act, which included record climate investments and green incentives for businesses and individuals. Voters know even less about Biden’s Bipartisan Infrastructure Plan. Even worse: Many voters actually think Trump — who famously flubbed Infrastructure Week for months on end — did as much on this issue as Biden. (He did not.) The upshot is that Biden’s campaign has A LOT of work to do to inform voters about how his policies benefit their communities, while Donald Trump is openly promising to literally sell them out to oil companies for his personal benefit.
Look No Further Than Crooked Media
From AI reincarnations to hot n' spicy rap beef - This week on Keep It Ira is leading Louis to water... or in other words, explaining the whole Kendrick & Drake feud. They also channel their inner Joan Rivers and dig into everything Met Gala. The good, the bad, and the forgettable. Make sure to subscribe & follow Keep It on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.Under The Radar
TikTok announced today it will start automatically labeling AI-generated content, including artificial images made with TikTok’s AI effects and shared elsewhere. That’s a bit of good news as the U.S. heads into its first presidential election in the age of AI. At the same time, it points to a much bigger problem: the dangerous collision between AI and politics. And we’re not just talking about the “Drunk Nancy Pelosi” deepfake.It has become shockingly easy to generate deepfake content of politicians, newsmakers, or anyone else. Arizona Secretary of State Adrian Fontes proved exactly that point to unnerved election officials at an election safety seminar this week. TikTok’s new policy makes it slightly trickier to blast totally artificial content into global public view, but hardly impossible, especially for determined bad actors.
Of course, this change does nothing to counter another very real danger: how authentic content is selectively delivered to inflame specific audiences. After all, this will be an election in which one of the two main candidacies is based on false information about the 2020 election and orbited by a constellation of other lies. TikTok, of course, is clearly looking for “responsible actor” press while facing a potential forced sale or ban in the U.S. But, still, hooray for TikTok, thanks for reminding us how full of artificially-enhanced videos of dancing cats you truly are.
What Else?
Barron Trump was selected as a Florida delegate-at-large (no relation to his massive height) to the Republican National Convention. Barron, who turned 18 in March, is making his first move into politics, joining half-siblings Don Jr., Eric and Tiffany as delegates. This job should be fairly easy since the GOP literally had no party platform the last time Trump ran in 2020. Barron: you’re young! There’s still time to save yourself!The Biden Administration is expected to soon release a new rule designed to speed up the processing of asylum claims for many migrants crossing the southern border, NBC News reported, citing unnamed sources. The move is designed to make it faster and easier to deny entry to migrants with criminal records or who are deemed a national security risk.
Medical school graduates are starting to avoid states with abortion bans or new post-Dobbs restrictions when choosing their residencies, according to data from the Association of American Medical Colleges. New residencies are down 4.2% in states with near-total abortion bans, compared to just 0.6% overall. The difference is even deeper for graduates entering OB/GYN residencies.
An appeals court rejected Hunter Biden’s attempt to throw out federal gun charges, clearing the way for him to go to trial next month. Biden is charged with false statements and with illegally possessing a firearm while using drugs in 2018. He faces separate federal tax charges in California.
Donald Trump got some moral (well, amoral, at best) support from friends at his Manhattan election interference trial today. MAGA Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL) and Jeanine Pirro (R-FoxNews) both turned up at the courthouse today. So far Eric Trump is only one of Trump’s kids to attend. Melania has been noticeably absent. She’s probably just SUPER busy.
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Light At The End Of The Email
Fifteen-year-old Khaya Njumbe of Gary, IN, is on track to become the state’s youngest-ever college graduate. Not to be outdone, I’m really close to finishing a Sudoku puzzle.Doctors in China appear to have cured Type II diabetes in a patient using stem cell transplants.
The state of Utah set up a tip line to encourage Utahans to snitch on trans people who “violate” the state’s public bathroom law. Trans activists and allies responded to this by flooding the line with thousands of fake reports, rendering the whole thing as useless in reality as it was cruel and wrong-headed in conception. Even the state auditor tasked with following up these calls accused the legislature of taking a “ham-handed approach.” Prank calls for good, we love to see it!
Enjoy
Themuffreport (@themuffreport) on Instagram: "[Text on image: "Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter."]"
2024.05.10 03:24 Bails147 Case for Charlie
Charlie:
He has a clear story- and he is introduced to us immediately with an opening confessional that states his strategy, highlights his personality and gives us his background.
He has a consistancy theme of keeping his threat level low and managing his social game, and an overall being underestimated (wrongly) theme. In ep 1 he has a good episode, his storyline of playing the middle begins, as Jem and Moriah and Maria all underestimate him and bring him in to an alliance “Charlies angels” - that goes nowhere but is highlighted unnecessarily to boost him. They underestkmated him bc they brought him in due to jem and mo saying “i feel like charlie is more swayable”. Meanwhile Tim and Ben create a boys alliance with him bc tim is worried about the girls scheming. And he gets a great confessional about how he likes women and can work with them. But also he could go with the boys ans has options “oh boy, oh boy oh boy, oh girl?” Additionally, his relationship with ben “the dumb and dumber alliance” is mentioned and established. We also learn where he is from “manchester-by-the-sea” and that he lives in a bubble of predominantly white straight people and on survivor theres so much diversity and he wants to burst that bubble (which is a theme he is backed up by edit doing all season).
In ep 2. Charlie gets a MAJORLY POSITIVE scene. TSwift vs metallica is a scene about Charlie executing his strategy and connecting with Siga members and Ben. This scene was MASSIVE for him. It starts out with an awkward comment, then a charlie confessional along the lines of “im a dorky nerdy and awkward guy and i knew that coming out here i could struggle socially”. In this confessional he states “Ben is a musiv servant, and so i wanna use some of my own pop culture knowledge of TSwift to to try and connect with him and improve my social standing”. He then does the TSwift vs Metallica game, and the whole tribe essentially has confessionals in a positive way about it, moriah is shown loving this in particular, maria is into it. Jem is into it. Tim is into it, and Ben then says “charlie is an adorable goofball.. and raves on about how much he liked it, likes charlie, and wouldng wanna play with anyone else outside of this siga tribe on any other season”. Basically, Ben confirms that Charlies strategy here worked perfectly, and that charlie is in great social standing with Siga and especially him, and that builds on Ben and Charlies relationship. In this same episode, Charlie further breaks down sigas dynamics, tim and Ben - and him on one side, Charlies angels on the other, but if they lose 3 times hes 4th in the angels alliance, he wants his own alliance and partner out there, and noticed Maria is in a similar swing position, so he goes to maria and creates a duo alliance with her, mentioning how malcom and denise are his fav players and he thinks that they could be a malc/denise type duo, maria then has confessionals stating she loves the idea and it reminds HER of malc/denise, and we get a flashback to malc/denise (they only did this once before - for Dee/Austin in 45 with rob and amber). Then tehres a scene again highlighting that this duo can go either way on siga - with the angels or with the boys. And either way they will do whats best for them. And decide together.
Ep 2 was an excellent Charlie ep The edit also shows maria to be a great player and the perfect person for him to create a duo with too btw.
Ep 3 - is a much needed cooldown, but in this ep its the Bhanu/yanu disaster show and siga/Namk get thrown to the side - however we DO check in with Charlie, he further highlights his game position, and Ben making fire. Maria Tevin Soda ans Tim were all skunked with 0 confessionals this ep. But not Charlie!
Ep 4- siga idol hunt: i watched this siga scene over and over. Its good and bad but mostly good for Charlie - he correctly states that the group idol hunts are fake and guarantees us that “ i guarantee u that ANYONE else finds this idol, tehy are gonna keep it to themselves!” Whixh is EXACTLY what happened. He states he wants it to be his idol and outlines what hed do IF he found it. Could be bad he didnt but he never says “im gonna find it” he just states that he wants it and how hed play it and is shwon to be correct in his read as he described exactly how jem went about it. If he never finds an idol this season and wins - this could be a scene shown to us to highlight what his strategy woulda been surrounding the idols if he found one. Siga doesnt get too much content this ep, but we do get reassurances of Charlies position and duo with Maria, and also we get further Charlie and Ben development. Oh i forgot, Moriah Cannot Jump! This was narrated by CHARLIE! And he gives the breakdown and the strategy of helping mo explode and learn to jump, and is shown teaching her - whicb subtly continues to highlight him effectively bonding and socially playing well with siga (these camplife scenes in siga ALL relate to charlie too which is a massive positive for his winner chances). Contrast this with Jem sorta looking a little lowkey bad with the whole moriah jump thing “jem we are trying to be positive! Its getting better (while laughing) ” - charlie
Also in ep 4 is Jems idol trick - where she successfully tricks maria and Moriah. But Ben comments that maybe someone found it and is playing em. Yet Charlie is the one giving confessional being suss of the thing and says that too, then he makes a “this is suspicious” face tk the camera jim halpert style during them all digging - thats the edit sorta protecting him from being “fooled” by Jem. He also critiques marias idol play strategy
Episode 5: BREAKOUT EPISODE FOR SIGA AND CHARLIE/ben
Okay so Siga is finally gonna go to tribal - Charlie and Maria is re-assured as the swing vote position and decision makers, Ben and Charlie relationship is highlighted massively again, TSwift vs Metallica is referenced againin a seperate game too - again highlighting his social game and personal TSwift theme, Charlie has a scene helping Ben thru a tough time. Moriah Maria and Jem are wary of this Charlie/Ben relationship but never consider Charlie an option. Only consider Ben as a threat to steal away charlie from them and so target Ben. Jem Mo and Tim and Ben all think the have Charlie guaranteed number.. they underestimate his power and strategical thinking. Maria wants it to be Ben. Its made clear, its Ben, but Charlie is super clsoe with Ben, and likes ben, and also views ben as an asset and potential social shield. Its clear that maria/charlie are picking between jem/ben and theh want to be on the same page subtitled “this is the end for some but a new beginning for us” Maria says she wants jem and cant trust Ben/Tim. Charlie states why he wnats Jem out. Why it could be Ben, but ultimately he doesnt want it to be Ben, he convinces maria to do Jem (she never explains why or how). Awesoem episode for him jem over Ben helped his game tremendously and hurt marias numbers outside of him! Oh also theres a major camplife scene that is another CHARLIE FOCUSED SCENE. Salsa dancing - maria is the one who does the salsa lesson but Charlie is the one who narrates it as strategy, and also he gets the personal and character moments of the scene TOO! He gets to solo shake those hips, he has the funny bite, he narrated the whole thing and also got his strategy behind it! Maria didnt even comment on salsa. Like wow. This ep was awesome af for Charlie. Incredible episode for him.
Ep 6: mergatory: POS highlights charlie salsa scene yet again! Then gives charlie/maria credit for blindsiding Jem, goes out of its way to rehighlighy she had an idol too, narrated by charlie also. And that subtitled line “this is the end for some, but a new beginning for us”.
This ep Charlie gets a cooldown - strategically we hear his thoughts on Venus, siga gets outplayed big time but maria and Charlie are shielded and hidden from that - Tim and Ben and Moriah get all the focus for how siga is misplaying. Good ep to have few content imo. In addition we get Tim actively protecting Charlie (social game baby) and throws Mo under the bus, charlie states his strategy of being a goalie and on the defence since he is one of 6 people eligible to go home and Yanu has all the power, he also is called out to be the better option and bigger threat by Venus and literally nobody even considers him an option - speaks to his social game again. Critically hes the ONLY siga who gets a confessional stating that he needs to cut moriah in order for him to advance and so hes willing to do that and is fine with it. The edit supports his stray Venus vote but showing her gunning for him so we know why hes putting a stray on her to protect himself. Overall a lowkey but good mergatory episode for him tbh.
Ep 7: charlie has some funny character moments all episode with the camera looks, his devious smiles, Baltimore joke, tim shouting out his family. He is royally screwed (so he shoulda been) by the split. Its 4 nami maria whos immune and him. He has no adv or idol protection. Hes an obvious vote. He states that he wants to strategise and talk. But he keeps it lowkey bc he needs to play this well, and all the Namis state that they like him and hes loyal and they wanna keep him and make a move on eachotehr. I think him telling venus at the start of this ep he voted for her gave him this loyal and honest image that made Soda (especially her since she was copping heat) and Tevin REALLLY trust him. This whole episode he plays it very well - he allows maria to decide which way he and maria goes as hes in defence mode and shes safe, he also plays it off with Venus way better than Maria did imo. Somehow he escapes this without getting any votes at all. And gets no heat either. Adding to charlies underestimated theme - Tevin soda and Q all underestimate him this episode big time.
Ep 8: hide n seek- charlie is brought into this Q 6 alliance - but he gets awesome confessionals about his thoughts on the 6 (contrasted with us never hearing kenzies thoughts on this depsite her saying “ive heard about the 6”). We get his accurate read that the 6 is a horrible alliance. Whilst maria is gung ho, he thinks its a weak alliance that is going nowhere, correctly, He also states a tip for how in survivor get up early and make the strategical convos then bc that when people have them (a great winnery confessional) He quickly knows that Q is interviewing him for an alliance, so he wants that job bc Q is so polarising and he wants to be on Qs side due to the power Q is holding at this point. He has good content during hiden seek. In fact (due to him being the seeker i guess) he is one of the only people who Q doesnt reference to as making a big mistake. Interesting. In this episode charlie wants Tevin and or tiff, but prefers Tevin, maria really wants tiff gone bc she heard tiff threw out her name. Its good to point out that again Charlie and maria are deciding in the middle, and Charlie once again narrates it not maria. Also again this episode Tevin and Q underestimate charlie “he doesnt have that killer instinct to turn on us”. Meanwhile charlie has confessionals “am i what goes awry” and he votes out tevin. He also got his way over maria again here.
Episode 9: with the fallout of Q - everyone is roasting him, calling him names and all kinds of stuff. Except for Maria and Charlie. They i noticed both didn’t have confessionals talking about how bad Q is etc. they just have camplife scenes saying things like “i didnt understans that” or “he shouldnt have done taht”. Everyone else outright sh*ts on Q. Q goes to Charlie and underestimates him once again basically saying. You will never beat hunter in this challenge. Heres ur chance to throw it and lose so hunter can go home. Charlie then talks about how quitting and throwing challenges is “YUCK” and that he wont ever do that. Basically getting that Kenzie and Dee anti-quit commentary. He says again later this episode condescendingly “no more quit talk, we play this game hard”. Not only does charlie talk about not throwing the challenge, he then WINS the challenge and is the reason Hunter is eligible to go home. That + with maria once again in the middle he gets to decide between Hunter and Q and they vote out Hunter. His motives around Tiff and Hunter and this vote is all laid out in the ep.
Episode 10: a great cool down and with ep 11 it makes the reason hes quieter this ep retrospectively really really really good! His content this ep is all about wnating tiff out with the idol. In order to do that he needs Q and Tiff to both lose, and he says he need to make sure that happens, he then wins immunity himself beating tiffany in a showdown himself, to ensure this can happen. Once again maria and Charlie are at the helm of the decision and teh edit makes it clear that charlie wanted this and was a part of it, whilst also showing it as a maria move (which people dont respect so thats good for him + his plan was to have it be this way) Also i noticed the edit creditted Charlie for bringing in Liz. Maria wanted Venus but Charlie says no, venus will cause random chaos we cant trust her, Do liz. And maria says “charlies right…” and tehy get liz successfully and once again blindside tiff.
Ep 11: charlie is AGAIN. Underestimated by Kenzie Venus, Q and Liz this ep. They all think Maria is running the show and kingpin and hes just followed her. He outplayed everyone tenfold this ep - whetehr u think this ultimately may lead to his downfall later by not taking Q out, is irrelevent he was shown all episode to outplay his castmates at every single turn. And his reasoning for booting venus was shown and backed up by 1. Venus entire season edit, and 2. That scene of her stonewalling him and him correctly discovering she has something, whereas kenzie states she thinks venus doenst have anything earlier in ep.
I dont wanna dive too much into ep 11. It was either a why charlie lost or a coronation ep and the jury is out until we see what happens next imo. I think it was a good ep for him though.
Also in addition to all this - his TSwift theme is always getting shoved in there, in jeffs mat chat speech “believe you can win” pans go charlie central with maria in the shot next to him whilst “one of you cant win, you wont get the votes at the end” pans to kenzie for those words right after. A weird trend is the NTOS for ep 7 (post mergatory) for s43-45 showed gabler dee and yam yam last on screen and speaking last too, this is the case for Charlie for this season. It also shows erika tommy ans tony last for theirs but i feel the trend from 43-45 is more relevent.
When tevin monologues ep 1. Charlie is soley shown in the “you have to be authentically yourself” quote. Whereas kenzie is “overcome and adapt” ben is “be vulnerable”. Maria was “deceit” liz was an irrelevent camplife one and Q was “deceit” too i think.
Charlie has a clear startegy and theme of being authentically himself (tswift), being underestimated and keeping his threat level low And the edit is backing him up on all fronts for this theme.
I think i can make a whole argument like this for Kenzie too! But i also can make one like this for hints why she lost.. im not gonna though bc this took so long to type!
Rn i think kenzie and Charlie and Maria (bc if she does get ftc shes winning) all have similar odds to win. Edgically speaking and game logic wise too.
I do think Charlie has a very very strong winner edit - if he loses hes the dragon but they took SO MUCH CARE in his edit this season regardless. Way more care than Carson and even Jesse, and other FMC losers or players of his archetype.
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He has a clear story- and he is introduced to us immediately with an opening confessional that states his strategy, highlights his personality and gives us his background.
He has a consistancy theme of keeping his threat level low and managing his social game, and an overall being underestimated (wrongly) theme. In ep 1 he has a good episode, his storyline of playing the middle begins, as Jem and Moriah and Maria all underestimate him and bring him in to an alliance “Charlies angels” - that goes nowhere but is highlighted unnecessarily to boost him. They underestkmated him bc they brought him in due to jem and mo saying “i feel like charlie is more swayable”. Meanwhile Tim and Ben create a boys alliance with him bc tim is worried about the girls scheming. And he gets a great confessional about how he likes women and can work with them. But also he could go with the boys ans has options “oh boy, oh boy oh boy, oh girl?” Additionally, his relationship with ben “the dumb and dumber alliance” is mentioned and established. We also learn where he is from “manchester-by-the-sea” and that he lives in a bubble of predominantly white straight people and on survivor theres so much diversity and he wants to burst that bubble (which is a theme he is backed up by edit doing all season).
In ep 2. Charlie gets a MAJORLY POSITIVE scene. TSwift vs metallica is a scene about Charlie executing his strategy and connecting with Siga members and Ben. This scene was MASSIVE for him. It starts out with an awkward comment, then a charlie confessional along the lines of “im a dorky nerdy and awkward guy and i knew that coming out here i could struggle socially”. In this confessional he states “Ben is a musiv servant, and so i wanna use some of my own pop culture knowledge of TSwift to to try and connect with him and improve my social standing”. He then does the TSwift vs Metallica game, and the whole tribe essentially has confessionals in a positive way about it, moriah is shown loving this in particular, maria is into it. Jem is into it. Tim is into it, and Ben then says “charlie is an adorable goofball.. and raves on about how much he liked it, likes charlie, and wouldng wanna play with anyone else outside of this siga tribe on any other season”. Basically, Ben confirms that Charlies strategy here worked perfectly, and that charlie is in great social standing with Siga and especially him, and that builds on Ben and Charlies relationship. In this same episode, Charlie further breaks down sigas dynamics, tim and Ben - and him on one side, Charlies angels on the other, but if they lose 3 times hes 4th in the angels alliance, he wants his own alliance and partner out there, and noticed Maria is in a similar swing position, so he goes to maria and creates a duo alliance with her, mentioning how malcom and denise are his fav players and he thinks that they could be a malc/denise type duo, maria then has confessionals stating she loves the idea and it reminds HER of malc/denise, and we get a flashback to malc/denise (they only did this once before - for Dee/Austin in 45 with rob and amber). Then tehres a scene again highlighting that this duo can go either way on siga - with the angels or with the boys. And either way they will do whats best for them. And decide together.
Ep 2 was an excellent Charlie ep The edit also shows maria to be a great player and the perfect person for him to create a duo with too btw.
Ep 3 - is a much needed cooldown, but in this ep its the Bhanu/yanu disaster show and siga/Namk get thrown to the side - however we DO check in with Charlie, he further highlights his game position, and Ben making fire. Maria Tevin Soda ans Tim were all skunked with 0 confessionals this ep. But not Charlie!
Ep 4- siga idol hunt: i watched this siga scene over and over. Its good and bad but mostly good for Charlie - he correctly states that the group idol hunts are fake and guarantees us that “ i guarantee u that ANYONE else finds this idol, tehy are gonna keep it to themselves!” Whixh is EXACTLY what happened. He states he wants it to be his idol and outlines what hed do IF he found it. Could be bad he didnt but he never says “im gonna find it” he just states that he wants it and how hed play it and is shwon to be correct in his read as he described exactly how jem went about it. If he never finds an idol this season and wins - this could be a scene shown to us to highlight what his strategy woulda been surrounding the idols if he found one. Siga doesnt get too much content this ep, but we do get reassurances of Charlies position and duo with Maria, and also we get further Charlie and Ben development. Oh i forgot, Moriah Cannot Jump! This was narrated by CHARLIE! And he gives the breakdown and the strategy of helping mo explode and learn to jump, and is shown teaching her - whicb subtly continues to highlight him effectively bonding and socially playing well with siga (these camplife scenes in siga ALL relate to charlie too which is a massive positive for his winner chances). Contrast this with Jem sorta looking a little lowkey bad with the whole moriah jump thing “jem we are trying to be positive! Its getting better (while laughing) ” - charlie
Also in ep 4 is Jems idol trick - where she successfully tricks maria and Moriah. But Ben comments that maybe someone found it and is playing em. Yet Charlie is the one giving confessional being suss of the thing and says that too, then he makes a “this is suspicious” face tk the camera jim halpert style during them all digging - thats the edit sorta protecting him from being “fooled” by Jem. He also critiques marias idol play strategy
Episode 5: BREAKOUT EPISODE FOR SIGA AND CHARLIE/ben
Okay so Siga is finally gonna go to tribal - Charlie and Maria is re-assured as the swing vote position and decision makers, Ben and Charlie relationship is highlighted massively again, TSwift vs Metallica is referenced againin a seperate game too - again highlighting his social game and personal TSwift theme, Charlie has a scene helping Ben thru a tough time. Moriah Maria and Jem are wary of this Charlie/Ben relationship but never consider Charlie an option. Only consider Ben as a threat to steal away charlie from them and so target Ben. Jem Mo and Tim and Ben all think the have Charlie guaranteed number.. they underestimate his power and strategical thinking. Maria wants it to be Ben. Its made clear, its Ben, but Charlie is super clsoe with Ben, and likes ben, and also views ben as an asset and potential social shield. Its clear that maria/charlie are picking between jem/ben and theh want to be on the same page subtitled “this is the end for some but a new beginning for us” Maria says she wants jem and cant trust Ben/Tim. Charlie states why he wnats Jem out. Why it could be Ben, but ultimately he doesnt want it to be Ben, he convinces maria to do Jem (she never explains why or how). Awesoem episode for him jem over Ben helped his game tremendously and hurt marias numbers outside of him! Oh also theres a major camplife scene that is another CHARLIE FOCUSED SCENE. Salsa dancing - maria is the one who does the salsa lesson but Charlie is the one who narrates it as strategy, and also he gets the personal and character moments of the scene TOO! He gets to solo shake those hips, he has the funny bite, he narrated the whole thing and also got his strategy behind it! Maria didnt even comment on salsa. Like wow. This ep was awesome af for Charlie. Incredible episode for him.
Ep 6: mergatory: POS highlights charlie salsa scene yet again! Then gives charlie/maria credit for blindsiding Jem, goes out of its way to rehighlighy she had an idol too, narrated by charlie also. And that subtitled line “this is the end for some, but a new beginning for us”.
This ep Charlie gets a cooldown - strategically we hear his thoughts on Venus, siga gets outplayed big time but maria and Charlie are shielded and hidden from that - Tim and Ben and Moriah get all the focus for how siga is misplaying. Good ep to have few content imo. In addition we get Tim actively protecting Charlie (social game baby) and throws Mo under the bus, charlie states his strategy of being a goalie and on the defence since he is one of 6 people eligible to go home and Yanu has all the power, he also is called out to be the better option and bigger threat by Venus and literally nobody even considers him an option - speaks to his social game again. Critically hes the ONLY siga who gets a confessional stating that he needs to cut moriah in order for him to advance and so hes willing to do that and is fine with it. The edit supports his stray Venus vote but showing her gunning for him so we know why hes putting a stray on her to protect himself. Overall a lowkey but good mergatory episode for him tbh.
Ep 7: charlie has some funny character moments all episode with the camera looks, his devious smiles, Baltimore joke, tim shouting out his family. He is royally screwed (so he shoulda been) by the split. Its 4 nami maria whos immune and him. He has no adv or idol protection. Hes an obvious vote. He states that he wants to strategise and talk. But he keeps it lowkey bc he needs to play this well, and all the Namis state that they like him and hes loyal and they wanna keep him and make a move on eachotehr. I think him telling venus at the start of this ep he voted for her gave him this loyal and honest image that made Soda (especially her since she was copping heat) and Tevin REALLLY trust him. This whole episode he plays it very well - he allows maria to decide which way he and maria goes as hes in defence mode and shes safe, he also plays it off with Venus way better than Maria did imo. Somehow he escapes this without getting any votes at all. And gets no heat either. Adding to charlies underestimated theme - Tevin soda and Q all underestimate him this episode big time.
Ep 8: hide n seek- charlie is brought into this Q 6 alliance - but he gets awesome confessionals about his thoughts on the 6 (contrasted with us never hearing kenzies thoughts on this depsite her saying “ive heard about the 6”). We get his accurate read that the 6 is a horrible alliance. Whilst maria is gung ho, he thinks its a weak alliance that is going nowhere, correctly, He also states a tip for how in survivor get up early and make the strategical convos then bc that when people have them (a great winnery confessional) He quickly knows that Q is interviewing him for an alliance, so he wants that job bc Q is so polarising and he wants to be on Qs side due to the power Q is holding at this point. He has good content during hiden seek. In fact (due to him being the seeker i guess) he is one of the only people who Q doesnt reference to as making a big mistake. Interesting. In this episode charlie wants Tevin and or tiff, but prefers Tevin, maria really wants tiff gone bc she heard tiff threw out her name. Its good to point out that again Charlie and maria are deciding in the middle, and Charlie once again narrates it not maria. Also again this episode Tevin and Q underestimate charlie “he doesnt have that killer instinct to turn on us”. Meanwhile charlie has confessionals “am i what goes awry” and he votes out tevin. He also got his way over maria again here.
Episode 9: with the fallout of Q - everyone is roasting him, calling him names and all kinds of stuff. Except for Maria and Charlie. They i noticed both didn’t have confessionals talking about how bad Q is etc. they just have camplife scenes saying things like “i didnt understans that” or “he shouldnt have done taht”. Everyone else outright sh*ts on Q. Q goes to Charlie and underestimates him once again basically saying. You will never beat hunter in this challenge. Heres ur chance to throw it and lose so hunter can go home. Charlie then talks about how quitting and throwing challenges is “YUCK” and that he wont ever do that. Basically getting that Kenzie and Dee anti-quit commentary. He says again later this episode condescendingly “no more quit talk, we play this game hard”. Not only does charlie talk about not throwing the challenge, he then WINS the challenge and is the reason Hunter is eligible to go home. That + with maria once again in the middle he gets to decide between Hunter and Q and they vote out Hunter. His motives around Tiff and Hunter and this vote is all laid out in the ep.
Episode 10: a great cool down and with ep 11 it makes the reason hes quieter this ep retrospectively really really really good! His content this ep is all about wnating tiff out with the idol. In order to do that he needs Q and Tiff to both lose, and he says he need to make sure that happens, he then wins immunity himself beating tiffany in a showdown himself, to ensure this can happen. Once again maria and Charlie are at the helm of the decision and teh edit makes it clear that charlie wanted this and was a part of it, whilst also showing it as a maria move (which people dont respect so thats good for him + his plan was to have it be this way) Also i noticed the edit creditted Charlie for bringing in Liz. Maria wanted Venus but Charlie says no, venus will cause random chaos we cant trust her, Do liz. And maria says “charlies right…” and tehy get liz successfully and once again blindside tiff.
Ep 11: charlie is AGAIN. Underestimated by Kenzie Venus, Q and Liz this ep. They all think Maria is running the show and kingpin and hes just followed her. He outplayed everyone tenfold this ep - whetehr u think this ultimately may lead to his downfall later by not taking Q out, is irrelevent he was shown all episode to outplay his castmates at every single turn. And his reasoning for booting venus was shown and backed up by 1. Venus entire season edit, and 2. That scene of her stonewalling him and him correctly discovering she has something, whereas kenzie states she thinks venus doenst have anything earlier in ep.
I dont wanna dive too much into ep 11. It was either a why charlie lost or a coronation ep and the jury is out until we see what happens next imo. I think it was a good ep for him though.
Also in addition to all this - his TSwift theme is always getting shoved in there, in jeffs mat chat speech “believe you can win” pans go charlie central with maria in the shot next to him whilst “one of you cant win, you wont get the votes at the end” pans to kenzie for those words right after. A weird trend is the NTOS for ep 7 (post mergatory) for s43-45 showed gabler dee and yam yam last on screen and speaking last too, this is the case for Charlie for this season. It also shows erika tommy ans tony last for theirs but i feel the trend from 43-45 is more relevent.
When tevin monologues ep 1. Charlie is soley shown in the “you have to be authentically yourself” quote. Whereas kenzie is “overcome and adapt” ben is “be vulnerable”. Maria was “deceit” liz was an irrelevent camplife one and Q was “deceit” too i think.
Charlie has a clear startegy and theme of being authentically himself (tswift), being underestimated and keeping his threat level low And the edit is backing him up on all fronts for this theme.
I think i can make a whole argument like this for Kenzie too! But i also can make one like this for hints why she lost.. im not gonna though bc this took so long to type!
Rn i think kenzie and Charlie and Maria (bc if she does get ftc shes winning) all have similar odds to win. Edgically speaking and game logic wise too.
I do think Charlie has a very very strong winner edit - if he loses hes the dragon but they took SO MUCH CARE in his edit this season regardless. Way more care than Carson and even Jesse, and other FMC losers or players of his archetype.
2024.05.09 21:07 1Orangebraincell Season 3 discussion
Binging season 3 again, and curious what everyone thinks about each girl. This is only based off their season and not what they did after the show or currently.
Amber( Cookie): I actually like her. She stood up for herself when KC started fighting her in the van after the dinner. She also called out the other Amber for being fake and forgetting what she says and playing victim. She was a little annoying, but I still give her props.
Amber B: She gave me racist vibes, and was super fake in her house meeting apology. She talked so much shit and couldn't back it up at all and played victim afterwards.
Tiffany: I freaking love her! She reminds me so much like me. She played the Mom role in thr group but took no bs.
KC: You can tell she had a lot of trauma and has been through a lot in her life before the show. She was very sensitive about everything. I liked her 50/50. She was always the loud obnoxious one at the club and always starting drama. I agree with them that they were tired of getting kicked out of places because she can't hold her liquor and anger.
Ailea:..... nothing needs to be said. She doesn't even exist to me.
Ashley: eh she was okay. Nothing really memorable about her.
Sarah: Nothing memorable about her either. Just that she was a Playboy model.
Just curious what yall opinions are on this season.
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Amber( Cookie): I actually like her. She stood up for herself when KC started fighting her in the van after the dinner. She also called out the other Amber for being fake and forgetting what she says and playing victim. She was a little annoying, but I still give her props.
Amber B: She gave me racist vibes, and was super fake in her house meeting apology. She talked so much shit and couldn't back it up at all and played victim afterwards.
Tiffany: I freaking love her! She reminds me so much like me. She played the Mom role in thr group but took no bs.
KC: You can tell she had a lot of trauma and has been through a lot in her life before the show. She was very sensitive about everything. I liked her 50/50. She was always the loud obnoxious one at the club and always starting drama. I agree with them that they were tired of getting kicked out of places because she can't hold her liquor and anger.
Ailea:..... nothing needs to be said. She doesn't even exist to me.
Ashley: eh she was okay. Nothing really memorable about her.
Sarah: Nothing memorable about her either. Just that she was a Playboy model.
Just curious what yall opinions are on this season.
2024.05.09 16:56 House_of_Lij Lij's Drag Race Recasted: CVSTW EP2 "Snatch Summit"
The results of the Lip-Sync are in!
Lala Ri and Monét X Change lipsync to "Brand New Bitch" by Anjulie. At the song's start, Lala whacks around her arms as she struts around the stage, kicking her legs high into the air. Monét is soaking up the energy of the song as she slowly begins to vogue, the both of them now strutting as Lala starts winding her hips and dropping into a split, whipping her hair around as Monét makes the judges laugh with funny sexual movements. As the chorus begins, Monét does a high kick before she starts dancing with Lala doing a roll around the stage before going onto her knees, whipping her hair around. She loses her wig, but Monét suddenly throws hers off, both strutting down the stage bald. They do a cute fake kiss that makes the judges laugh before Lala lands into a dip, with Monet doing a jump split as she pounds the stage with her shame. Lala starts kicking her legs into the air before she does a backflip, dancing around the stage as Monét does the same, wiping off the sweat from her brow with a sponge from her bra.
Lala Ri & Monét X Change! You're both winners, baby!
Lala Ri...Monét X Change, with great power comes great responsibility. Which Bottom Queen have you both decided to give the chop?
💄Yuri Guaii💄
As it is written... Yuri Guaii, you will always be an All-Star, now sashay away... (9th Place)
Mini Challenge: Reading Is Fundamental.
Runway Theme: Celestial Bodies.
POLL / Track Record
submitted by House_of_Lij to RPDRfantasyseason [link] [comments]
Lala Ri and Monét X Change lipsync to "Brand New Bitch" by Anjulie. At the song's start, Lala whacks around her arms as she struts around the stage, kicking her legs high into the air. Monét is soaking up the energy of the song as she slowly begins to vogue, the both of them now strutting as Lala starts winding her hips and dropping into a split, whipping her hair around as Monét makes the judges laugh with funny sexual movements. As the chorus begins, Monét does a high kick before she starts dancing with Lala doing a roll around the stage before going onto her knees, whipping her hair around. She loses her wig, but Monét suddenly throws hers off, both strutting down the stage bald. They do a cute fake kiss that makes the judges laugh before Lala lands into a dip, with Monet doing a jump split as she pounds the stage with her shame. Lala starts kicking her legs into the air before she does a backflip, dancing around the stage as Monét does the same, wiping off the sweat from her brow with a sponge from her bra.
Lala Ri & Monét X Change! You're both winners, baby!
Lala Ri...Monét X Change, with great power comes great responsibility. Which Bottom Queen have you both decided to give the chop?
💄Yuri Guaii💄
As it is written... Yuri Guaii, you will always be an All-Star, now sashay away... (9th Place)
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──
CVSTW S1xEP2: "Snatch Summit"
The queens impersonate celebrities and play the iconic Snatch Game, with a twist. Guest Judges are Sarain Fox and Priyanka. (Snatch Game Challenge)Mini Challenge: Reading Is Fundamental.
| Queen: | Snatch Game Character: |
|---|---|
| Adore Delano | Heidi Montag |
| Angeria Paris VanMichaels | Donna Summer |
| Elektra Shock | Jerry Springer |
| Eva Le Queen | Pilita Corrales |
| Lala Ri | Tiffany Haddish |
| Monét X Change | Katt Williams |
| Plastique Tiara | Ayesha Erotica |
| Shannel | Ginger Rogers |
POLL / Track Record
2024.05.09 16:02 theluckstat DAE feel like every woman is awful?
Liz is a fake allergy who is an entitled Karen. Venis is annoying whiney entitled and immature. Maria is a Karen. Tiffany is entitled and arrogant. Soda is loud obnoxious and a thief. Kenzie has pretty eyes 😍
submitted by theluckstat to survivorcirclejerk [link] [comments]
2024.05.08 13:42 SpiritualSomewhere Problems of Miki Rai
Miki Rai, in short, is insufferable and basically leveraged the pandemic and lied about being a frontline worker to get clout. All she cares about is money, money, money and the fame and getting more followers and views. Here are some reasons, that can easily be found over Reddit, for why Miki is insufferable and horrible:
submitted by SpiritualSomewhere to asianamericanytsnark [link] [comments]
- The pandemic. During the start of the pandemic, Miki became popular with her reels and posting Google-able nursing facts with stupid viral dances. That worked - she gained a lot of followers. But she lied about being a frontline worker and would take photos outside of random non-health related buildings with her scrubs and stethoscope and talk about being a frontline worker. Just google her name - there’s several articles that called her out. She even had to post a half-assed apology video.
- Transition into “finance.” Since the pandemic lifted, she no longer posts about nursing material, but turned into some sort of finance and lifestyle girly. She’s OBSESSED with money - even Kevin joked about it. And she posts so many lavish things like her veneers and all her lavish trips and being the breadwinner all while trying to say that money is not everything (which is a total lie to her).
- Her identity with Kevin. Everything is about dating/now being married to a doctor and how he’s her retirement plan. There have been posts about her putting him down financially wise and boasting that she supports him with her townhouse and all, and it gets really boring, really fast. It almost makes us feel just bad for him.
- Her past. Her identity also includes being a high school dropout and making into UCLA. Just because she got a few C’s at MV high school. There have been posts about her past about her high school days bullying others and, well, actually being what she is now. Clout chasing and attention seeking (there are stories from her classmates that knew her here on Reddit)
- Cringe and clout chasing. She is always looking for opportunities to be “besties” with certified people on social media and just to gain a larger platform. Which is just so sad and pathetic - makes me wonder what hanging around her feels like when there’s always a camera ready to promote herself and that she knows X, Y, Z. Tiffany Ma being one example, and Chloe Shih, Vivian (finance), etc. And apparently she was listed as married to Kevin months ago (can be searchable via Washington public records), so I bet all her marriage/proposal content was staged.
2024.05.02 23:51 Loud_Activity_6417 What do you think was some unfair judging interactions?
Katarzyna's name completely disrespecting her when she told them numerous times on how to pronounce it. Even calling her Neutrogena.
The Bre & Kim interaction over the Red Bull drinks. They mostly harped on Bre for how she behaved on the photoshoot. I was like Bre didn't want to discuss it during the shoot and Kim wouldn't shut up about it, even though it didn't involve Kim. When Kim wouldn't shut up Bre distanced herself from Kim. Judges should've called out Kim for bring up a personal issue while on the job. I get they were trying to tell Bre not to retaliate but she shouldn't have gotten the full blame.
Kelle (C3) when she tried explaining that instead of the photo they chose as the "best" she said she felt that there were other photos where she believes her eyes were more intense. Tyra said she was blaming the photographer which she clearly wasn't. They had it out for Kelle for some reason. I felt so bad for her. It didn't help that some of the other girls were making fun of her and saying she wasn't black cause of her upbringing. Yaya was the one that pointed that out that it's unfair to say something like that. Also during that up close photo shoot we saw some of Kelle's photos and some of them were better than what they chose. Mini Kelle rant over lol. Janice doing the back & forth Hitchcock thing was out of line.
Toccara's spider photo judging. They were upset because she was more mellow during judging. She couldn't be mellow for one judging?? She can be a 6 at judging she doesn't always have to turn it up to an 11.
Keenyah being blamed for the sexual harassment she went through on the African dance photoshoot. They gave the male model a pass for his behavior just like they did Robyn in C1 when she said the football player was "lusting" at her during the shoot.
Xiomara with the hanging photo. They're on her for not speaking up to Jay while he was over there with Catie. Jay should be at fault for not doing his job and directing the photoshoot. Then Tyra says she bet Catie's photo is going to be better. Of course it is cause you chose it Tyra like you say you do. Catie's photo wasn't all that great either.
C11 judging of Nikeyshia & Sheena about their bodies. Very personal questions like Nikeyshia's eating habits and Sheena's boobs. Inappropriate and shouldn't be brought to everyone's attention.
C12 Paulina telling London to not where the shorts she had on to judging anymore. Especially to someone who suffered from ED. I believe the judges were fully aware of models who had ED before.
C15 Anna Marie bringing her body image and Diane von Furstenburg saying beauty is health and pretty much saying she's not beautiful because Anna Marie isn't healthy. Nobody took her to the side like they did Cassie in S3 and talked to her. Even if her body was different from casting to taping of the show. That's something you never bring up in front of others and she may have been uncomfortable having that brought up like that and explaining herself.
We all can't forget Yaya's infamous judging about spider photoshoot. The Clearance Rack Judge with the Faux-Rogue streak in her hair telling Yaya that her African culture is overbearing. Tyra keeping her yap closed. All upset because Yaya gave her opinion about the fake African hat when she was telling them why she didn't choose it. Nole saying she looks like she's about to ride a giraffe.
I would put Tiffany C4 but I see that more of an elimination thing more than them critiquing her performance and photo that week.
submitted by Loud_Activity_6417 to ANTM [link] [comments]
The Bre & Kim interaction over the Red Bull drinks. They mostly harped on Bre for how she behaved on the photoshoot. I was like Bre didn't want to discuss it during the shoot and Kim wouldn't shut up about it, even though it didn't involve Kim. When Kim wouldn't shut up Bre distanced herself from Kim. Judges should've called out Kim for bring up a personal issue while on the job. I get they were trying to tell Bre not to retaliate but she shouldn't have gotten the full blame.
Kelle (C3) when she tried explaining that instead of the photo they chose as the "best" she said she felt that there were other photos where she believes her eyes were more intense. Tyra said she was blaming the photographer which she clearly wasn't. They had it out for Kelle for some reason. I felt so bad for her. It didn't help that some of the other girls were making fun of her and saying she wasn't black cause of her upbringing. Yaya was the one that pointed that out that it's unfair to say something like that. Also during that up close photo shoot we saw some of Kelle's photos and some of them were better than what they chose. Mini Kelle rant over lol. Janice doing the back & forth Hitchcock thing was out of line.
Toccara's spider photo judging. They were upset because she was more mellow during judging. She couldn't be mellow for one judging?? She can be a 6 at judging she doesn't always have to turn it up to an 11.
Keenyah being blamed for the sexual harassment she went through on the African dance photoshoot. They gave the male model a pass for his behavior just like they did Robyn in C1 when she said the football player was "lusting" at her during the shoot.
Xiomara with the hanging photo. They're on her for not speaking up to Jay while he was over there with Catie. Jay should be at fault for not doing his job and directing the photoshoot. Then Tyra says she bet Catie's photo is going to be better. Of course it is cause you chose it Tyra like you say you do. Catie's photo wasn't all that great either.
C11 judging of Nikeyshia & Sheena about their bodies. Very personal questions like Nikeyshia's eating habits and Sheena's boobs. Inappropriate and shouldn't be brought to everyone's attention.
C12 Paulina telling London to not where the shorts she had on to judging anymore. Especially to someone who suffered from ED. I believe the judges were fully aware of models who had ED before.
C15 Anna Marie bringing her body image and Diane von Furstenburg saying beauty is health and pretty much saying she's not beautiful because Anna Marie isn't healthy. Nobody took her to the side like they did Cassie in S3 and talked to her. Even if her body was different from casting to taping of the show. That's something you never bring up in front of others and she may have been uncomfortable having that brought up like that and explaining herself.
We all can't forget Yaya's infamous judging about spider photoshoot. The Clearance Rack Judge with the Faux-Rogue streak in her hair telling Yaya that her African culture is overbearing. Tyra keeping her yap closed. All upset because Yaya gave her opinion about the fake African hat when she was telling them why she didn't choose it. Nole saying she looks like she's about to ride a giraffe.
I would put Tiffany C4 but I see that more of an elimination thing more than them critiquing her performance and photo that week.
2024.05.02 23:48 tehtrublue Lol this scene from malled
submitted by tehtrublue to daria [link] [comments]2024.05.02 19:46 _elliebelle_ New Releases - Thursday 02 May
New Releases - Thursday 02 May
MM Romance
Kindle Unlimited- Autopilot by Candice Evans - 60 pages - Amazon - (sci-fi erotica, unexplored planet, colleagues, rivals, friends, threatened by aliens)
- Dawson (Jasper Springs #2) by Eve Riley - 292 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, small town, firefighter x claims adjuster, fresh start, dislike to lovers)
- Fen by Barbara Elsborg - 400 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, serious illness, confrontational meeting, hurt/comfort, in it for the money, sugar daddy (?))
- HEA: Happily Ever After (After Oscar #5) by Lucy Lennox & Molly Maddox - 286 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, unlucky in love, fake dating, wedding photographer x investment company owner, pet hedgehog, final book in series (standalone but likely best read in context))
- Hot Streak by Beth Bolden - 381 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, sports (baseball), hot temper, rivals/angry, called away for work)
- House Of Cards: Porth Ewan Bay (Rebel Kings MC) by Garrett Leigh - 213 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, friends to lovers, forced proximity, hurt/comfort, 2 x broody tattoo artists, reworked & re-edited)
- Out for Blood (Cartel Wars #1) by Ashlynn Mills - 234 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, mafia/crime, rivals to lovers, bad intentions, secrets)
- Pump Fake (Red Zone #2) by Brooklyn Cate - 275 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, sports, coming out, teammates, forbidden relationship)
- Rules of Play (Chance's Harbor) by CJ Pines - 625 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, new adult, sports (soccefootball), rivals to lovers, jock/nerd, forced proximity, only one bed, sexuality exploration)
- Spellbound by You (Mage Match #2) by Fel Fern & Kara Kitt - 203 pages - Amazon - (paranormal, outcast mage x protective fox, cast out by family, homeless MC, reluctant MC)
- The Collector (Book of Sin #1) by Matthew Dante - 330 pages - Amazon - (contemporary, dark, exotic dancer x former policeman, undercover (?), protective MC)
- The Witching Woods (Relict Saga #4) by J.A. Skald - 107 pages - Amazon - (fantasy, thriller, dark, mystery, pining, forced to reveal secrets, witch in the woods, inspired by Scandinavian folk tales)
- Doc and His Shadow (Nerd Squad #2 ) by Dani Gray - 150 pages - Amazon / Kobo - (contemporary, crime, protectocharge, pink haired twink doctor hacker x Russian enforcer, size difference)
- Great Depths by Mina Hinves - 152 pages - Kobo - (sci-fi, YA, found family, post-apocalyptic, drowned Earth, survival, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, maybe more adventure than romance)
Other Queer Romance
Kindle Unlimited- Finding Molly Parsons (The Lost & Found Series #1) by Alyson Root - 315 pages - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, coming out/promoting sexuality, quest to find long-lost queer relative, roadtrip, found family)
- Loving Jemima by Sienna Waters - 255 pages - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, closeted MC (?), business partners, second chances (?), secrets)
- Mask of the Heart by Lauren Hart - 190 pages - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, age gap, masquerade ball, hidden identity, boss/employee)
- A Troublemaker in Her Eyes (The Troublemaker Series #3) by Genta Sebastian - 402 pages - Amazon / Kobo - (FF, historical (1969), fantasy/alt universe (?), untrusting MC, hijinks (?))
- Embers by Tiffany. E Taylor - 151 pages - Amazon - (FF, contemporary, Cinderella retelling, butch x femme, colleagues/business partners, matchmaker gay fairy godfather, no Kobo link but author's other books are available on Kplus)
Audiobooks
MM Romance- HEA: Happily Ever After (After Oscar #5) by Lucy Lennox & Molly Maddox, narrated by Michael Dean - Audible - (contemporary, unlucky in love, fake dating, wedding photographer x investment company owner, pet hedgehog, final book in series (standalone but likely best read in context)) - 9 hrs 26 min
No new releases.
2024.05.02 18:56 Odd-Hand-2026 You getting exactly what you deserve. Saying tour married to an ish is straight you are fucking doomed..to cyclically never ending bad fate *ain’t no saving this just out to run from it.. “copper”
 | submitted by Odd-Hand-2026 to TartarianAR [link] [comments] |
2024.05.02 04:13 Junepero Story’s of panem 112 games and after matht
This years arena took place in the Garrigae Manior.
Day 1
Game maker Monty was right about the previous years statement about these next two games being relatively similar. The cornocpuia layed within the lobby of the seaside Garrigae manior. President Mcaine himself chose this arena mainly due to his recent frequenting visits of this manner in particular on his drunken summer Holidays. The Manior had 6 floors the 1st floor being the lobby/corncoupia. The corncopuia itself featured tridents and swords and surprisingly no food. The food could be found in many puesto side stores as an extra scavenger hunt for the tributes. Besides the maniore this years arena was circluar in shape feauturing many stores and trift shops with a salty air breeze that would distract tributes to the sea. Little the tributes know at the time the water was poisonus and if it had direct contact with human skin it would burn it and cause temporary paralysis. In the stores of the arena featured many valuable capital delcaises and weapons. Agrivated monkeys also roamed the arena mainly heighbernating in the trees until provked to awake.
When the tributes podiums rose up Brociade from 2 looked at Jafar from 1 nodding contently back at him as Tiffany from 1 located Anchor from 4. To Brociades right and left were Frank from 8 and Wybrana from 3. Both outliers were mortly petrified of teh carrer boy he even grinned placing the number 2 on his side to Jafar from 1. He noticed this start plan single before pointing at a grinning Qwendlon from 2 as she then pointened at Leon from 7 grimly looking a head.
As the gong sounded only Frank from 8 and Clarion and Victoria both from 5 ran away from then corncopuia. Qwendlon earned the first kill of this years games by tripping Geo from 6 and as he smaked his head on the ground Qwendlon threw the unconscious bleeding boy onto Brociade. Brociade yelped before he then was tackled to the ground by Leon from 7. As Brociade gasped for air he grinned when Leon fell to the ground with a knife in his heart. Tiffany grinned before shoutting “You ok.” Brociade nodded before grabbing a sword before shouting at Tiffany to watch out as Belle from 7 nearly stabbed her in the heart. Luckily for both ladies Belle ran of with a trident. . However with qwendllon hurled a trident at him it ended up impaling Ateno from 3 through the heart. Taking his opportunity at Qwendlons exhaustion Brociade took a trident off the wall of the corncopuia before hurling it into her throat. This death came as a shock to most in snow square but Camilia laughed saying she knew “That” would happen. As Jafar and Tiffany finished off the pair from 11 the remaining 20 tributes that werent the carrers ran off as the 6 blood bath cannons sounded.
“Finally that demented pig is gone.”
Brociade laughed before then turning in surprise not seeing Anchor. “Wheres the boy.”
“I think he pissed his pants after the blood bath.”
Tiffany laughed as the three took the remaining supplies before walking up the maniore rooms becoming quiet entranced at the pure luxury of the beds and decoir. Even the pair from one were transficked upon the architecture and jewlerly designs. The 3 of them then proceed to rest keeping watch over the arena. After afew hours of watching they heard a cannon sound. This was Marina from 4 after her district partner Anchor had grown quite impateint with Marina’s constant sobbing episodes before snapping her enck within an instant in an fit of rage. The pair from 1 and Brociade from 2 walked toward the window of where they had previously saw Marina’s deayj seeomh the pair from 8 walking the streets.
“Should we go for him.”
Jafar grinned before a sposmor gift flew down.
Tiffany then grabbed the gift before grinning as she then took out a shiny silver bow. Brociade looked on with a rather sour expression as viewers in snow square laughed Silca recounted “Someone’s jealloius.”.
Tiffany then took out a few arrows from the quiver before spotting out the window spotting the pair. As they stopped in there tracks.
“Did you hear something.”
Frank shrugged before continuing.
“Lets see if I can get a 2 in one special wanna try if I miss Brociade.”
He nodded before Tiffany shot her first double set of arrows. As they narrowly missed the pair. She swore before quickly tossing the bow and arrows to brociade he then stuck his head out before shooting the two double arrows at the pair from 8 threw there necks. As 2 cannos sounded Tiffany smiled before asking “Is that how its done.”
Brociade winked before saying “Indeed.” Back in the capital when this scene was replayed Camilia laughed before swearing she saw Brociade blush. As the moonlight soon enriched the arena the carrers were luckily sponsored a small feast of capital goodies from there good ol show. Brociade took first watch as Jafar Tiffany slept. At mid night horn of plenty played featuring the 9 fallen tributes. Qwendlon from 2 Anteno from 3 Marina from 4 Geo from 6 Leon from 7 the pair from 11 leaving 17 remaining.
Day 2
After Jafar’s morning watch came to an end. The three had a brief breakfast before watching for any action. However after growing quiet bored after no apparent action a cannon sounded. This was revealed to be Blanche from 10 after having an unforeanut encounter with Anchor from 4 in one of the vila stores.. After an short chase Anchor eventually caught up with her before throwing her in the acid water.
After this death was announced game maker monty made an live announcment. He congratulated the tributes on making it to the second day before suggesting they “Hide or get to an higher altuide” before an acidic tsunami would crash into the arena. As the wave startedts course many shouts of horror crossed the streets. Luckily for the carrers they still resided in the maniore however Jafar suggested that they’d go up to the roof that way they could have an overview of the arena and eventually eliminate more od the competition. As they then reached the roof a cannon sounded.
This was later revealed to be Wybrana from 3 as she succesfuly climbed a tall tree however she was soon whacked across ahead by Anchor from 4 and Bellle from 7 slammed her sword into Wybranna’s stomach. As the wave claimed Kaden from 9 Remedia from 12 and the girl from 14. After the girl from 14s cannon sounded. 2 sposnor gifts flew down.
Brociade walked up to the gift before smiling happliy at it taking his brand new “Shiny and rather expensive golden bow”. This gift and alongside Finnick Odair’s trident were known as the most expensive gifts in hunger games history. However as a note resided in the bottom of this sponsor gift Camilia declined to read it out loud to spare the ears of capital and district viewers,
As the wave returned to the bay game maker monty made an announcement declaring the streets to be safe to traverse. The carrers then begun there target practices splitting up to 3 corners of the maniore roof shooting near by birds and potentialy passing tributes.However after 6 hours of no action Tiffany gasped seeing Lunar from 6 weakly walking toward the manior as a last ditch effort to get food,.
“Who wants her.”
Jafar and Brociade immedtlay ran forward before aiming at the weak girl. However before she was about to enter the manior Brociade shot his first arrow. As it hit Lunar in the shoulder she screamed out as Brociade then was shoved out of the way by Jafar as he then shot more arrows at Lunar nearly all of them missed causing Tiffany to scream “She’s getting away!.’’
However as Lunar successfully limped away Jafar pushed Brociade to the ground rather agroantley shouting “It was you who missed.” However as Brociade had grown tired of being the punching back punched Jafar in the face.
“Your really gonna act like a child now you brat”
However as Jafar fought back and kicked Brociade in the crotch. He winced in pain before the pair got into a brutal fist fight. viewers in the captial started laughing hysterically at Tiffany’s face in the result of the fight of pure bewilderment.
Tiffany then grabbed both Jafar and Brociade by the scruffs of there necks meansingly saying
“We gonna act like real carrers or what?’
As Jafar stuck his middle finger out at Brociade he then gripped onto his trident as Tiffany rather surprisingly slammed her knife into Jafar heart. As he spluttered bloood and tried to attack Brociade he soon slipped in his own blood he screaned before falling off the roof of his cannon soon sounding. After Jafar’s cannon sounded Tiffany let a sny grin cross her face she grinned saying “Your welcome” before winking at Brociade. Brociade smirked before he and Tiffany chatted about lives in there own districts with Tiffany becoming entranced with interest when Brociade talked about the Heath Academy in his district and how he had pranked Qwendlons mentor Jade one time by putting a cockroach in her coffe which ended up being a fake resulting in Tiffany laughing hysterically. As night fell Tiffany asked if Brociad ecould keep first watch however a knife came whistling at there general direction. The pair doged before seeing Raven from 9 angrily hurling more knives at the pair. Viewers in the capital could see her blood shot eyes as she shouted that they “Would pay for killing Kaden”. Tiffany responded that they “Didnt kill him” but before Tiffany could say anything else Brociade stabbed Raven through the neck. As Raven begun to cough blood she soon faded out of consicous her cannon sounded.
Brociade and Tiffany soon walked back into the manior before the pair then slept in the nearest room. At midnight horn of plenty played featuring the 7 fallen tributes. Jafar from 1 Wybrana from 3 Kaden and Raven both from 9 Blanche from 10 Remeda from 12 and the girl from 14 leaving 10 tributes remaining. Tiffany from 1 Brociade from 2 Anchor from 4 Victoria and Clarion both from 5 Lunar from 6 belle from 7 Yreil from 10 sebastian from 12 and the boy from 14 remaining.
Day 3
Both of teh carrers decided it would be best for them to exit the manoir. And as they did this early in the morning an cannon rang out. This was Lunar from 6 after she had tried to climb the tree Wybrana had climbed the day before but the now imafous “coconut duo” and the suprsing crowd of monkeys attacked Lunar with the coconuts before she was finished of by Yreil from 10.
“I hope its that girl that nearly got you thrown off the manior roof>”
Brociade laughed before stopping for a second. As the quiet morning sun light soon became littered with dark clouds. As tornadoes begun to form the remaining nine tributes scattered through out the arena, Brociade and Tiffany soon spotted a distressed sebastian from 12 running away from Anchor from 4 and Belle from 7 with a few of there monkeys 💠with racing alongside.
Tiffany soon “shouted nice to see you again Anchor where were you from the first fay.”
Anchor flipped her of before throwing her trident at Tiffany, She yelped before throwing her self to the ground. The 2 groups of tributes barrled into the monior again before there fight resumed. Brociade lunged at Anchor slamming his face into a table as Tiffany and Belle begun widley shooting arrows at each other. Viewers in snow squares cheers grew at deathing level as Tiffany managed to get the upper hand against belle however just before she was about to stab Belle a Trident flew through there landing into Tiffany’s stomach. Brociade shouted out as he then delivered his signature move kicking Anchor in the stomach. He winced before Tiffany somehow got up and hurled her remaining arrow as it flew into anchors head. As his cannon sounded belle swore before slamming Anchors Trident into her heart. Tiffany’s cannon soon sounded as Belle looked wearily at Brociade before smiling saying.
“Thats for Anchor.”
As Belle ran off 2 more cannons sounded. Clarion and Victoria both from 5 had unforeanutly been sucked up into the tornado before being droopped from a high height crashing down into the ground.
Brociade walked over to Tiffanys body before pulling a rather kind move covering Tiffanys body with his shirt. He returned to the top floor of the monior before resting and eating the rest of the remaining rations he had. As the tornados soon dissipated game maker monty made another announcement. He congratulated the final four tributes on making to the final 4 before announcing that if a tribute were not back in the manior’s first floor in 5 minutes there tracker would denote.
As curious sounds of intrigue and interest and cheers sounded in snow square Brociade Yreil Belle and the boy from 14 made mad dash to the floor. The boy from 14 had been tripped up by Belle before she hurled one of her last remaining coconut shells at his head. Brociade soon spotted Yreil from 10 quickly running at him with a sword. However he then tripped giving Brociade the upper hand stabbing him in the heart. Brociade breathed and suddenly sat down happlily smiling. However as Brociade was having his “Winning fantasy” smiling and holding his knife in an action hero way a voice was soon heard saying “Coconuts are girls best friend.”
Brociade yelped before Belle quietly lowered her self from the ceiling of the first floor slicing Brociade’s throat. Viewing square was shocked and surprised as Brociade’s sadly saying “Im sorry Herminia”.
As Brociade’s cannon sound Belle grinned happly before sitting down in exhaustion as game maker monty crowned Bella “Belle” Figoura of district 7 had just won the 112th hunger games. In the mentoring gallery Herminia angrily ran out of the gallery as Acaia Ebony smiled serinly.
For her victors interview Belle was adorned in a light brown gown with cherry blossoms falling from top to bottom her messy red hair was straightened out and then braided. Eagle eye viewers could see a small anchor tatto on her neck as a momento to Anchor mean while camilia was adorned in a twilight yellow dress with green leaves decorating top of the dress.
She congratulated Belle on her rather sneaky victory. Before declaring her “The coconut assassin” by the captial causing her laugh. When pressed on her strategy Belle smiled and said “thank mrs ebony for it we made a plan the night before the games.” The captial citizens gasped as Acaia was seeen smiling warmly and nodding Canilia then asked if there was any “romatinc feelings” toward Anchor. Belle smiled and nodded as Camilia gasped before pressing her for details. As the pair had “lady chat”. After going over her 3 kills Belle commended Tiffany and brociades determination to win the games causing audience members and Camila said”aww”. Belle soon smiled warmly before bowing as she was then dismissed from the stage as game maker Monty was welcomed to the stage.
Cyrus regally waved to the audience in his stylish rainbow suit with a pure white bountiner. After he and camilia hugged each other game maker Monty announced that the following year would be his final year as the game maker. Many sounds of sadness and shouts of “‘no” sounded he then added in that he wanted to “start a family with silca”.
As the Saddness turned to cheers Camila smiled warmly before doing her usual “arena hints” requests. Cyrus grinned before saying to look for certain areas on this years games as hints. Many captial citizens gasped before shouting at game maker Monty to come back to the stage he grinned before camilia tried to calm the audience down. However as this was to no use she smiled before ending the interviews there.
Belle returned home to district 7 moving into the victors village with her sister and orphan friends. She would later go on to open her lumber company in the heart of the district. After the 116th games Belle became the mentor for both male and female tributes before she was rejoined by her mentor acaia ebony after whisterio Jansensions admission to the Mcaine physiatristic. She would later go on and marry her future husband Herb Jordan the pair would go on and have 5 kids together 1 would be chosen for a later games.
submitted by Junepero to christianblanco [link] [comments]
Day 1
Game maker Monty was right about the previous years statement about these next two games being relatively similar. The cornocpuia layed within the lobby of the seaside Garrigae manior. President Mcaine himself chose this arena mainly due to his recent frequenting visits of this manner in particular on his drunken summer Holidays. The Manior had 6 floors the 1st floor being the lobby/corncoupia. The corncopuia itself featured tridents and swords and surprisingly no food. The food could be found in many puesto side stores as an extra scavenger hunt for the tributes. Besides the maniore this years arena was circluar in shape feauturing many stores and trift shops with a salty air breeze that would distract tributes to the sea. Little the tributes know at the time the water was poisonus and if it had direct contact with human skin it would burn it and cause temporary paralysis. In the stores of the arena featured many valuable capital delcaises and weapons. Agrivated monkeys also roamed the arena mainly heighbernating in the trees until provked to awake.
When the tributes podiums rose up Brociade from 2 looked at Jafar from 1 nodding contently back at him as Tiffany from 1 located Anchor from 4. To Brociades right and left were Frank from 8 and Wybrana from 3. Both outliers were mortly petrified of teh carrer boy he even grinned placing the number 2 on his side to Jafar from 1. He noticed this start plan single before pointing at a grinning Qwendlon from 2 as she then pointened at Leon from 7 grimly looking a head.
As the gong sounded only Frank from 8 and Clarion and Victoria both from 5 ran away from then corncopuia. Qwendlon earned the first kill of this years games by tripping Geo from 6 and as he smaked his head on the ground Qwendlon threw the unconscious bleeding boy onto Brociade. Brociade yelped before he then was tackled to the ground by Leon from 7. As Brociade gasped for air he grinned when Leon fell to the ground with a knife in his heart. Tiffany grinned before shoutting “You ok.” Brociade nodded before grabbing a sword before shouting at Tiffany to watch out as Belle from 7 nearly stabbed her in the heart. Luckily for both ladies Belle ran of with a trident. . However with qwendllon hurled a trident at him it ended up impaling Ateno from 3 through the heart. Taking his opportunity at Qwendlons exhaustion Brociade took a trident off the wall of the corncopuia before hurling it into her throat. This death came as a shock to most in snow square but Camilia laughed saying she knew “That” would happen. As Jafar and Tiffany finished off the pair from 11 the remaining 20 tributes that werent the carrers ran off as the 6 blood bath cannons sounded.
“Finally that demented pig is gone.”
Brociade laughed before then turning in surprise not seeing Anchor. “Wheres the boy.”
“I think he pissed his pants after the blood bath.”
Tiffany laughed as the three took the remaining supplies before walking up the maniore rooms becoming quiet entranced at the pure luxury of the beds and decoir. Even the pair from one were transficked upon the architecture and jewlerly designs. The 3 of them then proceed to rest keeping watch over the arena. After afew hours of watching they heard a cannon sound. This was Marina from 4 after her district partner Anchor had grown quite impateint with Marina’s constant sobbing episodes before snapping her enck within an instant in an fit of rage. The pair from 1 and Brociade from 2 walked toward the window of where they had previously saw Marina’s deayj seeomh the pair from 8 walking the streets.
“Should we go for him.”
Jafar grinned before a sposmor gift flew down.
Tiffany then grabbed the gift before grinning as she then took out a shiny silver bow. Brociade looked on with a rather sour expression as viewers in snow square laughed Silca recounted “Someone’s jealloius.”.
Tiffany then took out a few arrows from the quiver before spotting out the window spotting the pair. As they stopped in there tracks.
“Did you hear something.”
Frank shrugged before continuing.
“Lets see if I can get a 2 in one special wanna try if I miss Brociade.”
He nodded before Tiffany shot her first double set of arrows. As they narrowly missed the pair. She swore before quickly tossing the bow and arrows to brociade he then stuck his head out before shooting the two double arrows at the pair from 8 threw there necks. As 2 cannos sounded Tiffany smiled before asking “Is that how its done.”
Brociade winked before saying “Indeed.” Back in the capital when this scene was replayed Camilia laughed before swearing she saw Brociade blush. As the moonlight soon enriched the arena the carrers were luckily sponsored a small feast of capital goodies from there good ol show. Brociade took first watch as Jafar Tiffany slept. At mid night horn of plenty played featuring the 9 fallen tributes. Qwendlon from 2 Anteno from 3 Marina from 4 Geo from 6 Leon from 7 the pair from 11 leaving 17 remaining.
Day 2
After Jafar’s morning watch came to an end. The three had a brief breakfast before watching for any action. However after growing quiet bored after no apparent action a cannon sounded. This was revealed to be Blanche from 10 after having an unforeanut encounter with Anchor from 4 in one of the vila stores.. After an short chase Anchor eventually caught up with her before throwing her in the acid water.
After this death was announced game maker monty made an live announcment. He congratulated the tributes on making it to the second day before suggesting they “Hide or get to an higher altuide” before an acidic tsunami would crash into the arena. As the wave startedts course many shouts of horror crossed the streets. Luckily for the carrers they still resided in the maniore however Jafar suggested that they’d go up to the roof that way they could have an overview of the arena and eventually eliminate more od the competition. As they then reached the roof a cannon sounded.
This was later revealed to be Wybrana from 3 as she succesfuly climbed a tall tree however she was soon whacked across ahead by Anchor from 4 and Bellle from 7 slammed her sword into Wybranna’s stomach. As the wave claimed Kaden from 9 Remedia from 12 and the girl from 14. After the girl from 14s cannon sounded. 2 sposnor gifts flew down.
Brociade walked up to the gift before smiling happliy at it taking his brand new “Shiny and rather expensive golden bow”. This gift and alongside Finnick Odair’s trident were known as the most expensive gifts in hunger games history. However as a note resided in the bottom of this sponsor gift Camilia declined to read it out loud to spare the ears of capital and district viewers,
As the wave returned to the bay game maker monty made an announcement declaring the streets to be safe to traverse. The carrers then begun there target practices splitting up to 3 corners of the maniore roof shooting near by birds and potentialy passing tributes.However after 6 hours of no action Tiffany gasped seeing Lunar from 6 weakly walking toward the manior as a last ditch effort to get food,.
“Who wants her.”
Jafar and Brociade immedtlay ran forward before aiming at the weak girl. However before she was about to enter the manior Brociade shot his first arrow. As it hit Lunar in the shoulder she screamed out as Brociade then was shoved out of the way by Jafar as he then shot more arrows at Lunar nearly all of them missed causing Tiffany to scream “She’s getting away!.’’
However as Lunar successfully limped away Jafar pushed Brociade to the ground rather agroantley shouting “It was you who missed.” However as Brociade had grown tired of being the punching back punched Jafar in the face.
“Your really gonna act like a child now you brat”
However as Jafar fought back and kicked Brociade in the crotch. He winced in pain before the pair got into a brutal fist fight. viewers in the captial started laughing hysterically at Tiffany’s face in the result of the fight of pure bewilderment.
Tiffany then grabbed both Jafar and Brociade by the scruffs of there necks meansingly saying
“We gonna act like real carrers or what?’
As Jafar stuck his middle finger out at Brociade he then gripped onto his trident as Tiffany rather surprisingly slammed her knife into Jafar heart. As he spluttered bloood and tried to attack Brociade he soon slipped in his own blood he screaned before falling off the roof of his cannon soon sounding. After Jafar’s cannon sounded Tiffany let a sny grin cross her face she grinned saying “Your welcome” before winking at Brociade. Brociade smirked before he and Tiffany chatted about lives in there own districts with Tiffany becoming entranced with interest when Brociade talked about the Heath Academy in his district and how he had pranked Qwendlons mentor Jade one time by putting a cockroach in her coffe which ended up being a fake resulting in Tiffany laughing hysterically. As night fell Tiffany asked if Brociad ecould keep first watch however a knife came whistling at there general direction. The pair doged before seeing Raven from 9 angrily hurling more knives at the pair. Viewers in the capital could see her blood shot eyes as she shouted that they “Would pay for killing Kaden”. Tiffany responded that they “Didnt kill him” but before Tiffany could say anything else Brociade stabbed Raven through the neck. As Raven begun to cough blood she soon faded out of consicous her cannon sounded.
Brociade and Tiffany soon walked back into the manior before the pair then slept in the nearest room. At midnight horn of plenty played featuring the 7 fallen tributes. Jafar from 1 Wybrana from 3 Kaden and Raven both from 9 Blanche from 10 Remeda from 12 and the girl from 14 leaving 10 tributes remaining. Tiffany from 1 Brociade from 2 Anchor from 4 Victoria and Clarion both from 5 Lunar from 6 belle from 7 Yreil from 10 sebastian from 12 and the boy from 14 remaining.
Day 3
Both of teh carrers decided it would be best for them to exit the manoir. And as they did this early in the morning an cannon rang out. This was Lunar from 6 after she had tried to climb the tree Wybrana had climbed the day before but the now imafous “coconut duo” and the suprsing crowd of monkeys attacked Lunar with the coconuts before she was finished of by Yreil from 10.
“I hope its that girl that nearly got you thrown off the manior roof>”
Brociade laughed before stopping for a second. As the quiet morning sun light soon became littered with dark clouds. As tornadoes begun to form the remaining nine tributes scattered through out the arena, Brociade and Tiffany soon spotted a distressed sebastian from 12 running away from Anchor from 4 and Belle from 7 with a few of there monkeys 💠with racing alongside.
Tiffany soon “shouted nice to see you again Anchor where were you from the first fay.”
Anchor flipped her of before throwing her trident at Tiffany, She yelped before throwing her self to the ground. The 2 groups of tributes barrled into the monior again before there fight resumed. Brociade lunged at Anchor slamming his face into a table as Tiffany and Belle begun widley shooting arrows at each other. Viewers in snow squares cheers grew at deathing level as Tiffany managed to get the upper hand against belle however just before she was about to stab Belle a Trident flew through there landing into Tiffany’s stomach. Brociade shouted out as he then delivered his signature move kicking Anchor in the stomach. He winced before Tiffany somehow got up and hurled her remaining arrow as it flew into anchors head. As his cannon sounded belle swore before slamming Anchors Trident into her heart. Tiffany’s cannon soon sounded as Belle looked wearily at Brociade before smiling saying.
“Thats for Anchor.”
As Belle ran off 2 more cannons sounded. Clarion and Victoria both from 5 had unforeanutly been sucked up into the tornado before being droopped from a high height crashing down into the ground.
Brociade walked over to Tiffanys body before pulling a rather kind move covering Tiffanys body with his shirt. He returned to the top floor of the monior before resting and eating the rest of the remaining rations he had. As the tornados soon dissipated game maker monty made another announcement. He congratulated the final four tributes on making to the final 4 before announcing that if a tribute were not back in the manior’s first floor in 5 minutes there tracker would denote.
As curious sounds of intrigue and interest and cheers sounded in snow square Brociade Yreil Belle and the boy from 14 made mad dash to the floor. The boy from 14 had been tripped up by Belle before she hurled one of her last remaining coconut shells at his head. Brociade soon spotted Yreil from 10 quickly running at him with a sword. However he then tripped giving Brociade the upper hand stabbing him in the heart. Brociade breathed and suddenly sat down happlily smiling. However as Brociade was having his “Winning fantasy” smiling and holding his knife in an action hero way a voice was soon heard saying “Coconuts are girls best friend.”
Brociade yelped before Belle quietly lowered her self from the ceiling of the first floor slicing Brociade’s throat. Viewing square was shocked and surprised as Brociade’s sadly saying “Im sorry Herminia”.
As Brociade’s cannon sound Belle grinned happly before sitting down in exhaustion as game maker monty crowned Bella “Belle” Figoura of district 7 had just won the 112th hunger games. In the mentoring gallery Herminia angrily ran out of the gallery as Acaia Ebony smiled serinly.
For her victors interview Belle was adorned in a light brown gown with cherry blossoms falling from top to bottom her messy red hair was straightened out and then braided. Eagle eye viewers could see a small anchor tatto on her neck as a momento to Anchor mean while camilia was adorned in a twilight yellow dress with green leaves decorating top of the dress.
She congratulated Belle on her rather sneaky victory. Before declaring her “The coconut assassin” by the captial causing her laugh. When pressed on her strategy Belle smiled and said “thank mrs ebony for it we made a plan the night before the games.” The captial citizens gasped as Acaia was seeen smiling warmly and nodding Canilia then asked if there was any “romatinc feelings” toward Anchor. Belle smiled and nodded as Camilia gasped before pressing her for details. As the pair had “lady chat”. After going over her 3 kills Belle commended Tiffany and brociades determination to win the games causing audience members and Camila said”aww”. Belle soon smiled warmly before bowing as she was then dismissed from the stage as game maker Monty was welcomed to the stage.
Cyrus regally waved to the audience in his stylish rainbow suit with a pure white bountiner. After he and camilia hugged each other game maker Monty announced that the following year would be his final year as the game maker. Many sounds of sadness and shouts of “‘no” sounded he then added in that he wanted to “start a family with silca”.
As the Saddness turned to cheers Camila smiled warmly before doing her usual “arena hints” requests. Cyrus grinned before saying to look for certain areas on this years games as hints. Many captial citizens gasped before shouting at game maker Monty to come back to the stage he grinned before camilia tried to calm the audience down. However as this was to no use she smiled before ending the interviews there.
Belle returned home to district 7 moving into the victors village with her sister and orphan friends. She would later go on to open her lumber company in the heart of the district. After the 116th games Belle became the mentor for both male and female tributes before she was rejoined by her mentor acaia ebony after whisterio Jansensions admission to the Mcaine physiatristic. She would later go on and marry her future husband Herb Jordan the pair would go on and have 5 kids together 1 would be chosen for a later games.
2024.05.01 14:04 LadyTelaAzul2 #5 UPDATE OF MY ULTIMATE SHADY WHORE REPLAY
-First of all... the moment this show's over, I'm punching that whore's face... HOW DARE YOU HARASS MY MAN, YOU BITCH?!
-Was loyal... THIS TIME.... and chose Jin to raise my heart the most.
-Told Sienna nobody would resist me when Shawn got his results... CRY LOUDER, TIFFANY!!
-During the pancakes challenge... I did everything perfetcly... AND THAT HO STILL WON?! Didn't react cause I'm not giving The Bride Of Chucky the satisfaction.
-When Sienna and Shawn were safe...I FUCKING CLAPPED FOR HER... after I shaded her or ignored her existence since I met her... I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
-Told Jack and Sophie they were the perfect couple... but after they got dumped... I said they were annoying... and I was being nice to Sophie since... last volume lmao.
-Said I was loving the drama between Hari and Hazel... told her she was in trouble after... but literally gave her a standing ovation after she chose him!! I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
- Since last volume... I been nice to Liam... even told Logan he was great fun and that the Villa wasn't the same without him... but when Bea chose Logan... I FUCKING CHEERED... and when Liam was gone.... I sassed him like never before!! I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
-Oh and when Sienna got dumped... I told her I was sad to see her go... LMAO... only to wear the S1 MC wig and put her in her place in a way she'll never fogret... THAT WAS SO GOOD!! NOW YOU KNOW WHY EVERYBODY HERE RESPECTS ME!!
-Jin though that was hot? Babe, you can rail me right here... in front of Sienna... and Shawn... before you go... I got 3 holes... you can rail me alongside Jin just to show that whore she never had a chance!!😍
submitted by LadyTelaAzul2 to fuseboxgames [link] [comments]
-Was loyal... THIS TIME.... and chose Jin to raise my heart the most.
-Told Sienna nobody would resist me when Shawn got his results... CRY LOUDER, TIFFANY!!
-During the pancakes challenge... I did everything perfetcly... AND THAT HO STILL WON?! Didn't react cause I'm not giving The Bride Of Chucky the satisfaction.
-When Sienna and Shawn were safe...I FUCKING CLAPPED FOR HER... after I shaded her or ignored her existence since I met her... I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
-Told Jack and Sophie they were the perfect couple... but after they got dumped... I said they were annoying... and I was being nice to Sophie since... last volume lmao.
-Said I was loving the drama between Hari and Hazel... told her she was in trouble after... but literally gave her a standing ovation after she chose him!! I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
- Since last volume... I been nice to Liam... even told Logan he was great fun and that the Villa wasn't the same without him... but when Bea chose Logan... I FUCKING CHEERED... and when Liam was gone.... I sassed him like never before!! I LOVE BEING FAKE!!
-Oh and when Sienna got dumped... I told her I was sad to see her go... LMAO... only to wear the S1 MC wig and put her in her place in a way she'll never fogret... THAT WAS SO GOOD!! NOW YOU KNOW WHY EVERYBODY HERE RESPECTS ME!!
-Jin though that was hot? Babe, you can rail me right here... in front of Sienna... and Shawn... before you go... I got 3 holes... you can rail me alongside Jin just to show that whore she never had a chance!!😍
2024.05.01 00:30 WeirdViper Monday Night Raw Month 3 Week 5
Drew Mcintyre vs Dax Harwood vs Trick Williams vs Ricky Starks
Results: All 4 men trying to gain momentum for their team ahead of Wrestlemania, in the end Drew hits Dax with a huge Claymore kick as Trick and Starks are outside the ring and Drew picks up the win
__________
Finn Balor & Cody Rhodes are seen talking backstage
Cody: I am sure it was just in the heat of the moment, yeah it was a little cheap but come on we have all done things like that
Balor: Just watch yourself tonight Cody, don't let him catch you like that
__________
Karrion Kross vs Gunther
Results: These 2 have a hard hitting match, both men giving everything they got, just as it looks like Kross may be closing in on a win, from the crowd MJF runs in attacking Kross, clearly revenge for being put through a table last week. The ref calls for the bell giving Kross the win by DQ, Gunther angry walks off as Kross & MJF get pulled apart by officials
__________
Back from commercial we get MJF backstage
MJF: OK you big musclehead lunatic, I am not playing nice anymore, and not going to spend my time on any smart lines that these stupid fans will clap and cheer for without understanding a damn thing. Kross... me and you Wrestlemania!
__________
Paul Heyman is shown in the parking lot looking stressed out, as a large black SUV rolls up, Heyman looks nervous but once the doors open his face turns relieved as outsteps Roman Reigns, The Usos, & The Rock.
Roman stares at Paul
Roman: You talk to Aldis?
Heyman nods and holds up what looks to be 3 black leather folders as the 4 Bloodline men and Heyman head inside
__________
Sheamus vs Cash Wheeler vs Ricochet vs Alexander Hammerstone
Results: Much like the first Fatal Fourway, this match sees all 4 men trying to get momentum ahead of Wrestlemania. Sheamus and Hammerstone end up taking eachother out of the equation as they brawl up the ramp to the back. In the ring Ricochet hits a huge 630 on Cash to pick up the win
__________
Finn Balor, AJ Styles & Cody Rhodes are all shown backstage
AJ: It was in the moment, I was trying to win a match, don't take it personal
Cody: Guys relax, it is not that serious lets just move on
Balor: Alright fine, I will let it go, but I am going to go out and do commentary for your match just to... watch
__________
Cody Rhodes vs AJ Styles
Results: These 2 start with a handshake before having a very straight forward honest match, after Cody whips AJ into the corner hard, the turnbuckle pad falls off behind him. Moments later AJ is about to whip Cody into that now exposed corner when Balor stands up, AJ hesitates which allows Cody to move around and catch AJ with a Cross Rhodes and pick up the win
__________
As we come back from break we see Nick Aldis in his office
Aldis: So this is what the 3 of you want? Fine... you got it
The camera pans out showing Cody Rhodes, AJ Styles, and Finn Balor
Aldis: At Wrestlemania it will be AJ Styles vs Cody Rhodes vs Finn Balor in a Triple Threat match
All 3 men look satisfied, each one shaking Aldis' hand before walking out of the office
__________
Carmelo Hayes is in the ring, his WWE title around his waist
Carmelo Hayes: I ended Roman Reigns historic reign in the most vicious match there is Elimination Chamber and how was I able to do that? Because I am not the future of this business as some have called me, I am the right NOW an--
Hayes is cut off as 'Cult of Personality' hits and CM Punk walks to the ring
CM Punk: Sorry, Melo I really am I mean no disrespect but this is the last Raw before Wrestlemania and I could not just sit back and let you bore these people with some bullcrap lines that belong as a company slogan and are just fake. So let me make this very simple, I came back here, not to make friends, not to be a nice guy, I came here to make money, and that means being THE guy and that means taking that title from you.
Carmelo Hayes: Punk you couldn't take this from me if you were in your prime, but now? you will be lucky if you make it through our match without that arm going pop and infact...
Hayes stops as he gives Punk a cheapshot with the microphone knocking Punk down, by the time Punk gets back up Hayes has slid out of the ring and is walking up the ramp laughing
__________
Ilja Dragunov vs Swerve Strickland
Results: Days before the Wrestlemania Triple Threat these 2 go one on one and neither are trying to take it easy, after going back and forth for awhile, the crowd at one point chanting 'this is awesome' when both men are down, when suddenly Gunther appears and attacks both men, leveling both men with vicious powerbombs before picking up the Intercontinental Title and holding it high
__________
We now come to a very important segment as Nick Aldis is in the ring with a table set up, and he introduces The Bloodline, first out comes the newer faces, Solo Sikoa, Jacob Fatu, and the GoD. Then out comes Roman Reigns, The Rock and The Usos. The 2 groups sitting across from each other
Aldis: Gentlemen I know the longer we all are here the more tense this gets so let me make it simple, you all wanted this, but if ANY of you lay a hand on each other here tonight, then ALL of these matches are off.
As Aldis says that, all 8 men do not look happy
Slowly the 3 folders on the table get opened and signed by the needed individuals, and Aldis collects them and leaves the ring
Jey Uso: For those of you unsure of what was just signed, let me make it clear, we just signed the end of the GoD... because at Wrestlemania it will be The Usos vs the GoD in a Bloodline Rules Tag Team Match, and when its all said and done... we going to send you boys back to Japan... YEET!
Tama Tonga: Back to Japan? see that is how we differ, you want to send us to another company and be happy... this match is going to send you boys to the hospital... permanently!
The Rock: Solo... Solo my boy your daddy is a good friend of mine, hell he once ran a man over for me... it is just such a shame that his youngest boy has become such a bitch that he is no more than a lackey for these 3 Jabronis. So at Wrestlemania... Bloodline Rules, Solo Sikoa vs The Rock, boy you are in for the ass kickin of a life time!
Solo does not speak, just stares across at Rock and holds his taped thumb up slowly
Roman Reigns: And that leaves you and I Jacob... The Tribal Chief versus... the convict, the man whose big influence in life came while sitting in a cell...I guess it is fitting, since this Sunday, Wrestlemania, Bloodline Rules, I am going to make you wish you we back in that little cell
Jacob Fatu: Yeah I was locked up that aint news, Roman I am walking into Wrestlemania with one goal, you wanna bring up my time in prison? Fine, this Sunday... I am going to make you my prison bitch!
Fatu throws the microphone at Roman causing all 8 men to stand and overturn the table but they can't touch.
As the 4 younger bloodline are leaving the ring, out of nowhere Solo turns and in one motion nails a Samoan Spike on Paul Heyman laying him out and Solo hops out of the ring as Roman and his side check on Heyman and are clearly furious as they yell for doctors as Raw goes off the air
__________
Wrestlemania Card
WWE Championship
Carmelo Hayes(c) vs CM Punk
Intercontinental Championship
Swerve Strickland(c) vs Ilja Dragunov vs Gunther
Tag Team Championship - Ladder Match
Hammerstone/Starks(c) vs Mcintyre & Sheamus vs FTR vs Trick Williams & Ricochet
Women's Championship - Cage Match
Rhea Ripley(c) vs Tiffany Stratton vs Toni Storm vs Liv Morgan
Women's Tag Team Championship - Elimination Match
Cora Jade & Roxanne Perez vs Asuka & Giulia vs Vega & Kai vs Kayden & Katana
Becky, Charlotte, & Scarlett vs Skye Blue, Julia Hart, & Karmen Petrovic
Finn Balor vs AJ Styles vs Cody Rhodes
Karrion Kross vs MJF
Bloodline Rules
Roman Reigns vs Jacob Fatu
Bloodline Rules
Usos vs GoD
Bloodline Rules
The Rock vs Solo Sikoa
submitted by WeirdViper to RedflamesBookingNow [link] [comments]
Results: All 4 men trying to gain momentum for their team ahead of Wrestlemania, in the end Drew hits Dax with a huge Claymore kick as Trick and Starks are outside the ring and Drew picks up the win
__________
Finn Balor & Cody Rhodes are seen talking backstage
Cody: I am sure it was just in the heat of the moment, yeah it was a little cheap but come on we have all done things like that
Balor: Just watch yourself tonight Cody, don't let him catch you like that
__________
Karrion Kross vs Gunther
Results: These 2 have a hard hitting match, both men giving everything they got, just as it looks like Kross may be closing in on a win, from the crowd MJF runs in attacking Kross, clearly revenge for being put through a table last week. The ref calls for the bell giving Kross the win by DQ, Gunther angry walks off as Kross & MJF get pulled apart by officials
__________
Back from commercial we get MJF backstage
MJF: OK you big musclehead lunatic, I am not playing nice anymore, and not going to spend my time on any smart lines that these stupid fans will clap and cheer for without understanding a damn thing. Kross... me and you Wrestlemania!
__________
Paul Heyman is shown in the parking lot looking stressed out, as a large black SUV rolls up, Heyman looks nervous but once the doors open his face turns relieved as outsteps Roman Reigns, The Usos, & The Rock.
Roman stares at Paul
Roman: You talk to Aldis?
Heyman nods and holds up what looks to be 3 black leather folders as the 4 Bloodline men and Heyman head inside
__________
Sheamus vs Cash Wheeler vs Ricochet vs Alexander Hammerstone
Results: Much like the first Fatal Fourway, this match sees all 4 men trying to get momentum ahead of Wrestlemania. Sheamus and Hammerstone end up taking eachother out of the equation as they brawl up the ramp to the back. In the ring Ricochet hits a huge 630 on Cash to pick up the win
__________
Finn Balor, AJ Styles & Cody Rhodes are all shown backstage
AJ: It was in the moment, I was trying to win a match, don't take it personal
Cody: Guys relax, it is not that serious lets just move on
Balor: Alright fine, I will let it go, but I am going to go out and do commentary for your match just to... watch
__________
Cody Rhodes vs AJ Styles
Results: These 2 start with a handshake before having a very straight forward honest match, after Cody whips AJ into the corner hard, the turnbuckle pad falls off behind him. Moments later AJ is about to whip Cody into that now exposed corner when Balor stands up, AJ hesitates which allows Cody to move around and catch AJ with a Cross Rhodes and pick up the win
__________
As we come back from break we see Nick Aldis in his office
Aldis: So this is what the 3 of you want? Fine... you got it
The camera pans out showing Cody Rhodes, AJ Styles, and Finn Balor
Aldis: At Wrestlemania it will be AJ Styles vs Cody Rhodes vs Finn Balor in a Triple Threat match
All 3 men look satisfied, each one shaking Aldis' hand before walking out of the office
__________
Carmelo Hayes is in the ring, his WWE title around his waist
Carmelo Hayes: I ended Roman Reigns historic reign in the most vicious match there is Elimination Chamber and how was I able to do that? Because I am not the future of this business as some have called me, I am the right NOW an--
Hayes is cut off as 'Cult of Personality' hits and CM Punk walks to the ring
CM Punk: Sorry, Melo I really am I mean no disrespect but this is the last Raw before Wrestlemania and I could not just sit back and let you bore these people with some bullcrap lines that belong as a company slogan and are just fake. So let me make this very simple, I came back here, not to make friends, not to be a nice guy, I came here to make money, and that means being THE guy and that means taking that title from you.
Carmelo Hayes: Punk you couldn't take this from me if you were in your prime, but now? you will be lucky if you make it through our match without that arm going pop and infact...
Hayes stops as he gives Punk a cheapshot with the microphone knocking Punk down, by the time Punk gets back up Hayes has slid out of the ring and is walking up the ramp laughing
__________
Ilja Dragunov vs Swerve Strickland
Results: Days before the Wrestlemania Triple Threat these 2 go one on one and neither are trying to take it easy, after going back and forth for awhile, the crowd at one point chanting 'this is awesome' when both men are down, when suddenly Gunther appears and attacks both men, leveling both men with vicious powerbombs before picking up the Intercontinental Title and holding it high
__________
We now come to a very important segment as Nick Aldis is in the ring with a table set up, and he introduces The Bloodline, first out comes the newer faces, Solo Sikoa, Jacob Fatu, and the GoD. Then out comes Roman Reigns, The Rock and The Usos. The 2 groups sitting across from each other
Aldis: Gentlemen I know the longer we all are here the more tense this gets so let me make it simple, you all wanted this, but if ANY of you lay a hand on each other here tonight, then ALL of these matches are off.
As Aldis says that, all 8 men do not look happy
Slowly the 3 folders on the table get opened and signed by the needed individuals, and Aldis collects them and leaves the ring
Jey Uso: For those of you unsure of what was just signed, let me make it clear, we just signed the end of the GoD... because at Wrestlemania it will be The Usos vs the GoD in a Bloodline Rules Tag Team Match, and when its all said and done... we going to send you boys back to Japan... YEET!
Tama Tonga: Back to Japan? see that is how we differ, you want to send us to another company and be happy... this match is going to send you boys to the hospital... permanently!
The Rock: Solo... Solo my boy your daddy is a good friend of mine, hell he once ran a man over for me... it is just such a shame that his youngest boy has become such a bitch that he is no more than a lackey for these 3 Jabronis. So at Wrestlemania... Bloodline Rules, Solo Sikoa vs The Rock, boy you are in for the ass kickin of a life time!
Solo does not speak, just stares across at Rock and holds his taped thumb up slowly
Roman Reigns: And that leaves you and I Jacob... The Tribal Chief versus... the convict, the man whose big influence in life came while sitting in a cell...I guess it is fitting, since this Sunday, Wrestlemania, Bloodline Rules, I am going to make you wish you we back in that little cell
Jacob Fatu: Yeah I was locked up that aint news, Roman I am walking into Wrestlemania with one goal, you wanna bring up my time in prison? Fine, this Sunday... I am going to make you my prison bitch!
Fatu throws the microphone at Roman causing all 8 men to stand and overturn the table but they can't touch.
As the 4 younger bloodline are leaving the ring, out of nowhere Solo turns and in one motion nails a Samoan Spike on Paul Heyman laying him out and Solo hops out of the ring as Roman and his side check on Heyman and are clearly furious as they yell for doctors as Raw goes off the air
__________
Wrestlemania Card
WWE Championship
Carmelo Hayes(c) vs CM Punk
Intercontinental Championship
Swerve Strickland(c) vs Ilja Dragunov vs Gunther
Tag Team Championship - Ladder Match
Hammerstone/Starks(c) vs Mcintyre & Sheamus vs FTR vs Trick Williams & Ricochet
Women's Championship - Cage Match
Rhea Ripley(c) vs Tiffany Stratton vs Toni Storm vs Liv Morgan
Women's Tag Team Championship - Elimination Match
Cora Jade & Roxanne Perez vs Asuka & Giulia vs Vega & Kai vs Kayden & Katana
Becky, Charlotte, & Scarlett vs Skye Blue, Julia Hart, & Karmen Petrovic
Finn Balor vs AJ Styles vs Cody Rhodes
Karrion Kross vs MJF
Bloodline Rules
Roman Reigns vs Jacob Fatu
Bloodline Rules
Usos vs GoD
Bloodline Rules
The Rock vs Solo Sikoa
2024.04.29 05:03 passports_parakeets Stevie Kate is a Fan of Long Dresses and Dimmy Finally Washes her Tresses - The Dirtles’ Week in Review
Monday
Dimmy: Good morning from Stevie Kate in her zipped-up crib tent jail! In honor of Earth Day, she’s sleeping atop more plastic than every Dallas influencer combined contributes to the landfill! Dance, monkey, dance! I mean sing, monkey, sing!
Sorrowful Kate: 🎼I am a child of God, And he has sent me here, Has given me an earthly home With one parent kind and one to fear.
I am a child of God, And so my needs are great; Help me learn why I’m exploited online Before it grows too late.
I am a child of God. Rich blessings are in store; If I learn to help my parents shill They’ll be able to consume more and more. 🎶
Dimmy, laughs nervously: That’s enough, Stevie Kate. Let’s talk like Peppa Pig in a British accent instead! Cockney Kate: Hello, cheerio, have a great day!
Dimmy: The girls and I miss my parents already! Luckily Normal Sister is here! Isn’t she pretty? If I ate food and washed my hair, we could be mistaken for twins! Stevie Kate adores her. I am so glad my family has been cycling through to help me with London and Stevie Kate, help me keep my sanity, and keep the fridge troll away. Ahh I just love being a mom when I have lots of help. Especially when there are more Johnsons, less Houghtons! Oh by the way, London learned how to hold her own bottle while my parents were here! Stay tuned to see what other milestones she reaches next before Lily does! Let’s see, what else have we been up to, other than holding London’s head in an awkward, unnatural position… Oh, princess Candyland! We played lots of Candyland and Stevie Kate gave London a bath.
Dimmy: Don’t mind my breast pumps, I realized my giveaway story was taken down so I have to share it again. So weird! Did all of you assholes report my fake giveaway to Instagram? Your punishment is this multi-story razor shill. It’s a GAME CHANGER.
Tuesday
Camera Kate spent the day taking pictures with Kimmy’s phone and her linkable toy camera that prints black and white photos. She also spent the morning coloring her cardboard bakery but Dimmy wasn’t interested in that because she didn’t have a code for it. She did have a code for bras though so she dumped the kids on her sister, then laid underwear out on her bed to shill. Oh well, at least she didn’t wear the bras over her shirt like Tiffany did. Use code FFSANOTHERSHILL if you want to see more underwear linked up by influencers.
Dimmy: I’m done shilling bras to the poors! Have you finished cleaning my house and doing all the laundry yet? Normal Sister: Actually we’re packing now. We have to head home today! Dimmy: What?! But I have a massage booked for 3:00! Normal Sister: Yeah, sorry, family emergency! The emergency is I’ve barely seen you because you’ve been shilling things on Instagram the whole time we have been here!
Thursday
🚨‼️ BREAKING NEWS‼️🚨 Dimmy finally washed her hair!
But then she ruined it with Divi scalp serum. For shill’s sake.
Dimmy: Look at this photo of me in a dress! See I have proof that I actually got ready today… but this dress became covered in spit-up 10 minutes later so I’m back in my comfies now. Don’t lie, Kimmy. Spit up or not, we know you only put that dress on for 10 minutes so you could link it.
🚨‼️ BREAKING NEWS‼️🚨 Dimmy is dying!
Oh wait, never mind, she literally is not. She just said that as a lead up to her Stoney Clover shill. The overpriced childish-looking bag company sent her a large pouch personalized with “It’s a great day to be a Houghton” and she claims she is literally dying. Like it’s so stinkin’ cute, she is literally dead. Also dying is Tiffany, who threw her phone in anger when she saw Kimmy’s big Houghton bag on stories. She chucked her “Moffitt Miracle” Stoney Clover in the trash and beat Adam about the face and neck with her white plastic boots.
Meanwhile Stevie Kate camped out in the narrow side yard with her Minky blankets, Tonies and Magic Spoon while her mom was preoccupied with her shills, London MiShill, and literally dying.
Continued in Comments
LINK TO PHOTO
submitted by passports_parakeets to TurtleCreekLane [link] [comments]
Dimmy: Good morning from Stevie Kate in her zipped-up crib tent jail! In honor of Earth Day, she’s sleeping atop more plastic than every Dallas influencer combined contributes to the landfill! Dance, monkey, dance! I mean sing, monkey, sing!
Sorrowful Kate: 🎼I am a child of God, And he has sent me here, Has given me an earthly home With one parent kind and one to fear.
I am a child of God, And so my needs are great; Help me learn why I’m exploited online Before it grows too late.
I am a child of God. Rich blessings are in store; If I learn to help my parents shill They’ll be able to consume more and more. 🎶
Dimmy, laughs nervously: That’s enough, Stevie Kate. Let’s talk like Peppa Pig in a British accent instead! Cockney Kate: Hello, cheerio, have a great day!
Dimmy: The girls and I miss my parents already! Luckily Normal Sister is here! Isn’t she pretty? If I ate food and washed my hair, we could be mistaken for twins! Stevie Kate adores her. I am so glad my family has been cycling through to help me with London and Stevie Kate, help me keep my sanity, and keep the fridge troll away. Ahh I just love being a mom when I have lots of help. Especially when there are more Johnsons, less Houghtons! Oh by the way, London learned how to hold her own bottle while my parents were here! Stay tuned to see what other milestones she reaches next before Lily does! Let’s see, what else have we been up to, other than holding London’s head in an awkward, unnatural position… Oh, princess Candyland! We played lots of Candyland and Stevie Kate gave London a bath.
Dimmy: Don’t mind my breast pumps, I realized my giveaway story was taken down so I have to share it again. So weird! Did all of you assholes report my fake giveaway to Instagram? Your punishment is this multi-story razor shill. It’s a GAME CHANGER.
Tuesday
Camera Kate spent the day taking pictures with Kimmy’s phone and her linkable toy camera that prints black and white photos. She also spent the morning coloring her cardboard bakery but Dimmy wasn’t interested in that because she didn’t have a code for it. She did have a code for bras though so she dumped the kids on her sister, then laid underwear out on her bed to shill. Oh well, at least she didn’t wear the bras over her shirt like Tiffany did. Use code FFSANOTHERSHILL if you want to see more underwear linked up by influencers.
Dimmy: I’m done shilling bras to the poors! Have you finished cleaning my house and doing all the laundry yet? Normal Sister: Actually we’re packing now. We have to head home today! Dimmy: What?! But I have a massage booked for 3:00! Normal Sister: Yeah, sorry, family emergency! The emergency is I’ve barely seen you because you’ve been shilling things on Instagram the whole time we have been here!
Thursday
🚨‼️ BREAKING NEWS‼️🚨 Dimmy finally washed her hair!
But then she ruined it with Divi scalp serum. For shill’s sake.
Dimmy: Look at this photo of me in a dress! See I have proof that I actually got ready today… but this dress became covered in spit-up 10 minutes later so I’m back in my comfies now. Don’t lie, Kimmy. Spit up or not, we know you only put that dress on for 10 minutes so you could link it.
🚨‼️ BREAKING NEWS‼️🚨 Dimmy is dying!
Oh wait, never mind, she literally is not. She just said that as a lead up to her Stoney Clover shill. The overpriced childish-looking bag company sent her a large pouch personalized with “It’s a great day to be a Houghton” and she claims she is literally dying. Like it’s so stinkin’ cute, she is literally dead. Also dying is Tiffany, who threw her phone in anger when she saw Kimmy’s big Houghton bag on stories. She chucked her “Moffitt Miracle” Stoney Clover in the trash and beat Adam about the face and neck with her white plastic boots.
Meanwhile Stevie Kate camped out in the narrow side yard with her Minky blankets, Tonies and Magic Spoon while her mom was preoccupied with her shills, London MiShill, and literally dying.
Continued in Comments
LINK TO PHOTO
2024.04.29 03:17 kfrogv Personal collection, what pairs should I keep/ get rid of? I feel like I have too many I wear almost all of these.
 | Couldn’t post on sneakers sub since they don’t allow any posts with reps. A good amount of these are authentic some of them are fake (londons,Tiffany, bred 4, powerpuff) but these are all my personals I feel like I have way too much, moving into college so I want to downsize a little bit I want some insight on what I should get rid of. The green pegasus’ are my workout sneakers so those are staying 100%. There were only a couple pairs not shown. Idk just posting here so people can give me some ideas of what to keep and what to not keep. submitted by kfrogv to fashionrepsv2 [link] [comments] I don’t wear the Tiffany’s but I feel like if I sell them I’m gonna buy them back soon I really like that shoe. I wear almost everything, bred 4s Tiffany born and raised haven’t been worn yet |
2024.04.28 22:29 Kayndaone TIFU by laughing when my boyfriend confessed that he wanted me to be jealous
To keep this short, I 19 F have a boyfriend, Derek 19 M we’ve been dating for a little over a year now. Derek is the older brother of one of the kids I babysit and he’s really amazing he’s smart kind goofy and I love the relationship that he has with his younger sister. Our only problem is his best friend Destiny CONSTANTLY brings up his ex gf Tiffany. Derek and Tiffany dated for most of their highschool life up until senior year. I’ve met Tiffany and she’s cool and I’m cool too so we’re cool. Destiny tho? Not so cool. Whenever we hang out destiny finds some way to bring up the times when Tiffany and Derek were together i don’t really mind because the stories are funny. One thing that Derek and Tiffany had in common was their love for horses. For his 16th birthday his Dereks dad brought him a horse and he had once brought Tiffany to the ranch where she is to ride her and I honestly think that’s rlly cool and told him that we should definitely do that. I didn’t realize it then but recently when Derek and I were at his house watching a movie he told me if what Destiny was saying bothered me i didn’t have to fake interest and hide it. I told him that i had no idea what he was talking about. And he explained that Destiny was constantly bringing up Tiffany to me to make me jealous. I told him that was ridiculous because while Tiffany is great she’s also a lesbian which is one of the reasons they broke up. I then asked him if he wanted me to be jealous. He took a while to respond but eventually said yes. I couldn’t help it and started laughing bc I love this dude so much but laughing turned out to be the worst choice of action seeing as how he quickly grabbed his coat and left before I could even say anything. I’ve been texting him all night trying to explain that I wasn’t laughing bc i didn’t love him but at the fact that he thinks I’m not jealous. I am, but not of Tiffany of Destiny. Like she’s been his best friend since middle school I can’t compete with a best friend since middle school bc no one can compete with mine.
TL;DR TIFU by laughing during a serious conversation with my boyfriend when he told me he wanted me to feel jealous and might have possibly ruined my relationship with an amazing dude how do i fix this?
submitted by Kayndaone to tifu [link] [comments]
TL;DR TIFU by laughing during a serious conversation with my boyfriend when he told me he wanted me to feel jealous and might have possibly ruined my relationship with an amazing dude how do i fix this?
2024.04.28 19:15 TEMPERRRY its over for some repbros 💀
 | submitted by TEMPERRRY to fashionrepsv2 [link] [comments] |