So today I went through something quite painful. For the past 2 years, I’ve been consistently trying to reach out to a very close friend of mine. We met at uni and we did everything together and I’ve never had such a close friendship like that before and she was basically like a sister to me! 2 years ago she started becoming really distant and ever since, I’ve always been the one to message her asking her how she is and asking if she wants to meet up… and I was ALWAYS met with dead silence. Like she wouldn’t even respond when I wished her a happy birthday.
So today, I did what I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I texted her and asked her what happened, and what I did wrong. And if I did something that made her act like this to please tell me and also tell me so I can stop reaching out to always be met with a blank wall.
She responded and said she thought that we were naturally becoming distant in a hectic time and she doesn’t have the emotional capacity to reconnect. I totally get that but I don’t understand about the distancing aspect because I’ve always messaged her because I didn’t want us to become distant.
I asked her if she would ever want to connect again, and she then said that “the clingyness and continuation out of this convo is starting to make me a bit uncomfortable” and she deleted me off instagram.
This is just super painful because I wasn’t trying to come across and clingy, I just wanted to know what happened and why she turned so cold. And why would she delete me from instagram? It just all feels so personal and I’m currently going through the motions of grieving what was an incredibly important friendship in my life.
It was even more painful these past 2 years where I would constantly see her out with new friends whilst she was point blank ignoring my messages of asking how she is and whether she’d want to hang out.

Today is my birthday, and I've never felt this lonely. No one has wished me yet except my family over text. Last year, my ex ordered me a cake, and that was the first time someone did this for me. I still remember that day. I loved her so much. I helped her so much. But she cheated on me last year in mid-September, and since then, nothing has been going well in my life—mentally, physically, academically. I failed in all subjects in my 3rd year of MBBS. When I told her everything, she said mean things like, "Go get a life," and "All this is your karma." What kind of karma? Karma of trusting her, loving her, standing with her when no one else was there for her.
I tried many times to just talk to her, but every time, she broke my heart. And now, when I complain about all this, when I tell her she did wrong to me, she just says, "Sorry, forgive me." How can I forgive her? And how is it that easy to say sorry when you know you've crushed someone so hard?
Two days ago, when I tried to talk to her and I complained about all this, she said, "What do you want? I'm asking genuinely." I asked her, "Don't you need me?" She asked back, "Do you need me after all that?" I said, "Yes." Then I asked her, "Don't you?" She said, "I don't."
Why do people do this? Intentionally hurt someone? When you need them, you make a lot of promises, and the dumb ones trust in that. But when the need is over, you forget all the promises.
I have lost all faith in this world. Everything is just messed up. I really don't know what is going on. I wish I could just erase my existence.

Yesterday was her birthday, and I struggled to gather part of her family to throw her a party at home. I cooked a cake and did some other preparations. It was my first time, and I'm not too good at cooking, so I joked and said that the cake probably wouldn't taste too good. After serving it, well, it wasn't bad, but some of her family members laughed and said, "Who prefers biscuits?" She raised her hand, left the cake, and broke my heart.
If she had prepared a cake for me and organized a birthday party with all my family and cooked a terrible cake (which wasn't that terrible), I would have eaten at least my piece and said, "My girl did this for me; it's delicious." She just laughed at it.
Also, I work all day and have lunch at my office, so I normally bring something to eat or buy food around my workplace. There were pizza leftovers, and she said to her brother-in-law, "You can take them tomorrow for lunch." I stared at her, wondering why she would think of him first.
When we were alone, and I told her I was hurt about the piece of cake she couldn't eat, she told me I was being too much and that "she had eaten a little". When I asked about the leftovers, she said that the pizza wouldn't taste good today.
Then we went to bed, and she didn't apologize. I was crying. She tried to hold me, and I rejected her (protest behavior), and she got up again. When I realized that was her only attempt to make up, I said she wasn't able to say, "Okay, I'm sorry, and I understand that it hurt you." She said she has held me and I had rejected her, only after a while of me venting, she said she was sorry. But I don't know if she was; if she really understood why it hurt that much.
I'm a little devastated because I don't think she can meet my need for reassurance. I think she used to do it, but this time I didn't feel that way, and I don't know what to do because yesterday I felt like I was talking to a wall.
Am I being too much?

I (22f) matched with a guy Sam (26M) on facebook dating (friendship setting) recently. We exchanged instagrams and started DMing a lot. A few days later we started texting and he asked me to hangout. He suggested we go bowling together, just us, so we did. He doesn’t have a car right now so I picked him up and we went, then hung out back at his house. It felt very much like a date. Since then, he’s been texting me everyday. He met all my friends last weekend. Last week, he was having a hard day and called me crying to come over so he could have someone there for comfort. We’ve only known each other for 3ish weeks, and I just am confused because it seemed like he just wanted to be friends initially since we matched, but we’ve been texting daily and his actions seem like he’s interested. And I’m definitely interested, he’s really cute. I guess I just am not sure if he genuinely just wants to be friends, or is he testing the waters for more. He hasn’t tried anything yet but he’s definitely flirty. It’s even more confusing because I know he’s often hanging out with another girl, he says they’re not together but they seem to be together quite often. I’ve just never randomly struck up a platonic friendship with a man like this. Unsure what to make of it.

Not my text, resposting:
https://www.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crmb60/that_ww2_ufo_footage_is_possibly_narrated_by/
Props to for pointing this out!
And for this post.
Listen to the audio starting from :20 seconds up until :50 seconds on that clip that has been making the rounds. Grusch has a very particular inflection and pauses with “ahhh”, during that timeframe he does that about 3 times. He has a particular speech pattern that would be hard to disguise even with modulation.
Now listen to his opening statements here at the start from :10 to :35 he does the exact same type of inflections as in the distorted audio! Listen to them back to back, once you recognize the vocal patterns in his voice, the modulation does not hide that it is him. Why/how would RegicideAnon have a video that Grusch narrated???
Edit: this is the WW2 Archive Footage I am referring to
Edit2: pointed out his T’s also sound the same. In the opening statements at 1:08 you can hear how he ends “Current” and it ends very similarly to how he ends “It” and “Compensate” at :35 in the archived footage.
Edit3: Do Up/Downvotes affect post visibility? I only ask since from when I posted this almost an hour ago it has sat at 0, which is kinda strange that it’s being downvoted so heavily?
EDIT4: Okay so this one is a little weird, and very tinfoil-y I admit, but I feel I should point this out: Here is David Grusch’s resume
Note that during the timeframe this video was released, and around the time that MH370 occurred, David was:
July 2014 – December 2016, Adjunct Professor, School of Security and Global Studies, American Public University System (APUS)
• Undergraduate school professor developing technical coursework and program plans. Expertly instructed courses in the Intelligence Studies track, to include open source/social media analysis, signals and imagery analysis, and research methods.
December 2013 – March 2016, Chief, Intelligence Integration Division, Space Security and Defense Program (SSDP), Reston, VA (USAF Active Duty)
• Lead military intelligence officer for the SSDP Director, a member of the Senior Executive Service (SES) advising the Deputy Secretary of Defense (DEPSECDEF), Principal Deputy Director of National Intelligence (PDDNI), and National Security Council (NSC). Coordinated sensitive Multi-INT collection activities and modeling/simulation to support national space security objectives and advanced NSG programs. SSDP intelligence lead for the standup of the National Space Defense Center (NSDC).
It’s possible that during his time at the university he was analyzing and restoring WW2 archival footage? In order to verify this we’d have to find someone that knew him around that time frame to confirm or deny that he spoke of this previously.
The second thing that stood out to me was “Coordinated sensitive Multi-INT collection activities and modeling/simulation to support national space security objectives and advanced NSG programs.” I know with the recent MH370 video going around people are saying that if it WAS a hoax it would need to be created with someone with military access and very very expensive and sophisticated equipment. Possible the same equipment used to model and simulate space security objectives and NSG programs? Maybe this was a recreation of an event that the government didn’t see but was told was a possibility?
Edit5: I know many are asking how we know the voiceover wasn’t added recently, unfortunately the link to the video on RegicideAnon’s page on web archive doesn’t work, however another link to the same video was found that was posted to Facebook on September of 2015, that includes the voiceover:
https://www.facebook.com/ufovni/videos/ww2-archive-footage-of-flying-sauce510648672443495/
Thanks to for translating the description on the video:
“The following video was confiscated from the Kodiak Historical Military Museum on September 7th 1993 (the voiceover in the video actually said November 7th 1993). Originally a collection of gradings were donated with no date record or source of recording. In the video a UFO can be seen flying low on an island, alongside the planes as it approaches the runway. The location and date of filming are unknown.”
Interestingly the info about the museum and the collections is not mentioned in the clip at all, suggesting this is either a clip of a longer video or that the poster “Paranormal” somehow got more info with the clip.
Final Edit: I know that some people are in the process of actually examining the audio with professional programs so hopefully soon we’ll have concrete evidence if the voices match, however I want to leave you all and anyone else that stumbles upon the thread with this last bit; check out the following two sections and judge for yourself if this “but” sound exactly the same.
:42-:46 of the WW2 Archive Footage
27:44-27:46 of the NewsNation Interview
Please keep up the fantastic discussion and as always don’t forget to keep reaching out to your state congress representatives to keep the pressure on disclosure! We all deserve the truth, for the betterment of humanity.

Not my text, resposting:
https://www.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crmb60/that_ww2_ufo_footage_is_possibly_narrated_by/
Props to for pointing this out!
And u/diamondmachina for this post.
Listen to the audio starting from :20 seconds up until :50 seconds on that clip that has been making the rounds. Grusch has a very particular inflection and pauses with “ahhh”, during that timeframe he does that about 3 times. He has a particular speech pattern that would be hard to disguise even with modulation.
Now listen to his opening statements here at the start from :10 to :35 he does the exact same type of inflections as in the distorted audio! Listen to them back to back, once you recognize the vocal patterns in his voice, the modulation does not hide that it is him. Why/how would RegicideAnon have a video that Grusch narrated???
Edit: this is the WW2 Archive Footage I am referring to
Edit2: pointed out his T’s also sound the same. In the opening statements at 1:08 you can hear how he ends “Current” and it ends very similarly to how he ends “It” and “Compensate” at :35 in the archived footage.
Edit3: Do Up/Downvotes affect post visibility? I only ask since from when I posted this almost an hour ago it has sat at 0, which is kinda strange that it’s being downvoted so heavily?
EDIT4: Okay so this one is a little weird, and very tinfoil-y I admit, but I feel I should point this out: Here is David Grusch’s resume
Note that during the timeframe this video was released, and around the time that MH370 occurred, David was:
July 2014 – December 2016, Adjunct Professor, School of Security and Global Studies, American Public University System (APUS)
• Undergraduate school professor developing technical coursework and program plans. Expertly instructed courses in the Intelligence Studies track, to include open source/social media analysis, signals and imagery analysis, and research methods.
December 2013 – March 2016, Chief, Intelligence Integration Division, Space Security and Defense Program (SSDP), Reston, VA (USAF Active Duty)
• Lead military intelligence officer for the SSDP Director, a member of the Senior Executive Service (SES) advising the Deputy Secretary of Defense (DEPSECDEF), Principal Deputy Director of National Intelligence (PDDNI), and National Security Council (NSC). Coordinated sensitive Multi-INT collection activities and modeling/simulation to support national space security objectives and advanced NSG programs. SSDP intelligence lead for the standup of the National Space Defense Center (NSDC).
It’s possible that during his time at the university he was analyzing and restoring WW2 archival footage? In order to verify this we’d have to find someone that knew him around that time frame to confirm or deny that he spoke of this previously.
The second thing that stood out to me was “Coordinated sensitive Multi-INT collection activities and modeling/simulation to support national space security objectives and advanced NSG programs.” I know with the recent MH370 video going around people are saying that if it WAS a hoax it would need to be created with someone with military access and very very expensive and sophisticated equipment. Possible the same equipment used to model and simulate space security objectives and NSG programs? Maybe this was a recreation of an event that the government didn’t see but was told was a possibility?
Edit5: I know many are asking how we know the voiceover wasn’t added recently, unfortunately the link to the video on RegicideAnon’s page on web archive doesn’t work, however another link to the same video was found that was posted to Facebook on September of 2015, that includes the voiceover:
https://www.facebook.com/ufovni/videos/ww2-archive-footage-of-flying-sauce510648672443495/
Thanks to for translating the description on the video:
“The following video was confiscated from the Kodiak Historical Military Museum on September 7th 1993 (the voiceover in the video actually said November 7th 1993). Originally a collection of gradings were donated with no date record or source of recording. In the video a UFO can be seen flying low on an island, alongside the planes as it approaches the runway. The location and date of filming are unknown.”
Interestingly the info about the museum and the collections is not mentioned in the clip at all, suggesting this is either a clip of a longer video or that the poster “Paranormal” somehow got more info with the clip.
Final Edit: I know that some people are in the process of actually examining the audio with professional programs so hopefully soon we’ll have concrete evidence if the voices match, however I want to leave you all and anyone else that stumbles upon the thread with this last bit; check out the following two sections and judge for yourself if this “but” sound exactly the same.
:42-:46 of the WW2 Archive Footage
27:44-27:46 of the NewsNation Interview
Please keep up the fantastic discussion and as always don’t forget to keep reaching out to your state congress representatives to keep the pressure on disclosure! We all deserve the truth, for the betterment of humanity.

hi, im a 19(F) who in the past year has dealt with two ghosters who used to be my irl friends, but slowly begun to dislike me overtime for some reason - for this first ghoster, we will call them Apple and for the second ghoster, we will call her Banana for privacy reasons
so let’s start with Apple. i’ve been friends with Apple for 7 years (middle school-high school) and while we weren’t close close because of our different interests, we’ve gotten each other thoughtful and meaningful birthday gifts and talked on social media a lot — when we were seniors in high school, which was last year, after our winter break they had begun to ignore me on social media - we still saw each other irl so i thought nothing of it, but i still felt some sort of loneliness and lack of closeness from them. in may (last year) when we graduated, apple was still ignoring my messages so i decided to only text them every few months as to not bother them - around oct, i had checked one of our social media to see that they soft blocked me, and i assumed they had done so in the middle of summer sometime. they had also gotten into new interests within that time, something i actually knew about so that we could’ve had a convo - it never happened.
in nov, i had asked one of their friends if she knew how apple was doing, and the friend didn’t feel comfortable telling me (which i respected) so then on thanksgiving, i messaged apple for closure and an explanation in hopes of finally getting a response - still nothing. apple was even online, and completely ignoring and ghosting me. it really hurt me.
things soon took an invasive turn. in december, i had continued to respectfully ask apple’s other friends if they knew anything about apple ghosting me. they said no. i even offered to give one of them context via my text messages with apple, which i know now was a complete inappropriate move on my part, because even if i didn’t actually send them, i still considered sending them, which is wrong. i was desperate to find out the truth. apple unfriended me on social media for talking with their friend, but didn’t completely block me yet.
in mid january, our friendship ended. i was still feeling desperate and needing to know why apple ghosted me. so i messaged another one of their friends to ask if they knew anything about me being ghosted (i did not send anything personal). the friend had no idea but told me that they would show apple our conversation.
(i also put apple in my dni on my new social media account, made a sarcastic comment abt them ghosting me but also allowing them to message me if they wanted. i was feeling spiteful and annoyed at the time)
i soon got an angry, harsh message from apple.
the message was basically that i lost the right to know why they stopped talking to me (remember this for later), disrespected apple for wanting to share our personal information and relentlessly bothering their friends. (i do agree on that part and it is my fault, although i was very respectful when they all said they had no idea and i apologized to them all) — apple also said they didn’t ghost themselves from me, but rather distanced themselves from me — as they said, i agree that’s completely fine and normal - however, it becomes a problem when you don’t say you’re going to distance yourself from said person, because apple still had me added on other social media before that day, and apple gave me a heartfelt message in our yearbook (but I actually never got to write in theirs) - so ofc i got mixed signals
anyways, apple basically told me to get a life off my phone and that they will never contact me again. okay, i accept that (except the ‘go touch grass’ part that was uncalled for, but it was the heat of the moment so i understand their anger) — now, remember the ‘lost the right to know why i stopped talking to you’? - apple constricted themselves a few sentences later saying that they didn’t want to make a big deal ending a backboned friendship (of 7 years, mind you!), which im assuming implies that they never valued our friendship as much as i did. (ofc sometimes our friendship was rocky at times, but i always apologized in the end.)
one thing that makes me mad abt the message is that apple never took responsibility for their actions that begun all of this, never once replying to my messages and even knowing how much i was hurting from the closure message i sent them two months ago, they did not care about my feelings in the slightest - i know they said they would never contact me again, but at least think of the happy memories we had once before and once you’ve come down from your anger, take the responsibility as i did. but i guess i wasn’t worth it.
afterwards, i ended up breaking down and crying a few days later because the deserved hurtful message really made me feeling upset for weeks - I even vented to my own friends about the whole situation but idk i feel like some of them didn’t really care or just got annoyed with me because i did the invasive thing and probably still are so i felt like i couldn’t talk about my own feelings with anyone and take in my sadness alone
it’s been a few months since then so i’ve moved on from my first ghoster and i still don’t have many irl friends to this day, but i do wish them the best, even if we ended on a sour note. i’d say we were both at fault here, and it could’ve worked out had we just communicated and talk it out. but i suppose we’re better off and maybe we were just too toxic for one another. i am still sorry for everything that went wrong. i can only hope my first ghoster is too, deep down.
now to you all, i’ve told you mainly everything that happened without leaving any important details out. i wanted to share my mistakes with you and not keep it in the dark, because it’s important to own up to them. ik im just a throwaway account here, but i hope you can see where i was coming from, even if it was an unconventional method. i am sorry. i would really appreciate it if you guys don’t entirely focus on that part, but if you need to, i understand.
part 2 regarding my second ghoster will be up in a few days. if you’ve read this far, thank you very much. it felt good getting my feelings out to this community, i just hope you all will be understanding that. i may still make mistakes from time to time, but i will learn from them with each passing day. thank you.

Based on your experiences and wisdom internet strangers, how should I approach this because I have feelings for her? Should I tell her, or back off?
TL;DR is that I think I might be getting hints and clues that this girl I know may have feelings for me, but graduation is in a few weeks, and the parting of ways is inevitable.
There is this girl who I have recently, in the past year and a half or so, gotten to know well. I live in a town across the valley from hers, and we are both 18, being seniors in separate high schools. We have been texting each other for what almost felt like daily or multiple times a week well since the beginning of the summer before our senior year, and have not lost any momentum. I don’t always initiate conversation, as she likes to spark conversations through texting, whether it’s the most recent adventure, anecdote, or cake she baked, I’m not talking to a wall. We also talk in person whenever we can. When we see each other at weekly church meetings, she always tries to sit next to me, or does so when she can, and since I tried out track this year, each meet our schools are both at, we both without asking each other, watch each others events and cheer each other on, and we talk just about anything and everything. I think her parents and family like me pretty well, and I have a good relationship with them, and my family adores her. The problem is where I think I stand with her.
That problem is exemplified by the fact that our graduations our quickly creeping up on us, and we’re going to be parting ways as I’m moving to a bordering state in the middle of the summer, and not too long after will be serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints all the way down in Mexico in late August. However, I’d be surprised to be “Dear John’d” as she is also going to serve a mission for our church before going to university, and is waiting to have her finished papers submitted. The timing would be perfect, as by the time she gets done with her mission, I’d be back home from mine oddly enough. We are also thinking about different universities which we both got accepted to, for me, USU and BYU Provo, for her BYU-I. The nice thing about the mission is that it’s like a 2 year gap-year, so if anything were to happen and be set into motion, we could try to go to the same school after. But I’m wondering if the fact that we are thinking about different schools and that I’m moving will make her fret if she does feel anything for me.
Some final preface is that we’ve been to homecoming together our junior year and that’s when our relationship kind of started. I also asked her to my senior prom in a fun, personal way for her, and she wasn’t weird about it, and was genuinely excited for it, saying yes, and that she was suspecting that I would ask her. We had a great time together and with the group we were with. When we took pictures with everyone, the photographer who was a mom asked our group to walk towards her for some cool shots, and for the couples to hold hands while doing so. Me being unsure and shy, didn’t grab her hand, but she sure grabbed mine and totally locked fingers with me (Mormon first base lol). At the dance, we slow danced to every song we could, when she wanted to, and I tried my best to match her energy the whole time (as a person who can’t dance, and is kind of introverted in stark comparison to her extroverted extreme nature). I later learned from my mom from her mom that she noticed and made mention of that, how I matched her energy intentionally. Afterwards, when it was time to go home and drop her off, I walked her to the door and she gave me what I can only describe in my mind as an intimate hug, which has happened between us before as well.
I’m leaning on the edge of her liking me back (rare glass half full view for me personally) because of a bunch of specific instances that blur the line of friendship between us, making it feel like we are more than just friends, and I’ll share a few key ones: (Sorry for making it look like a police report, that’s just the way my mind operates)
Exhibit A: On prom, I told her about the fact that I was moving in the middle of the summer because I needed to tell her in person, and it needed to come from me (weird time to tell someone that), but if I didn’t, she would’ve found out otherwise through town and church gossip. I was met with an immediate sad response, but that was quickly washed away and we had fun at the dance. What’s interesting is what she texted me after the fact: “What if we never see each other again…Sorry this is just crazy I'm going crazy I hate change and not sleeping so guna go to bed before this becomes a what if I die moments.”
Exhibit B: There are instances where I think she is trying to flirt with me, one of them being a response to me saying that I’m going to be somewhere where she thinks she’s going. The response in question was “I’m going now for sure [winky emoji, laughing emoji]”
Exhibit C: I have received 3 hugs from her that have stuck with me, and we’re all pretty intimate. Once after I gave her a meaningful gift after one of her favorite livestock she was taking care of died, which was pure luck and chance as I got a hat for her with a gag signature from my uncle called “the pig whisperer” which I was planning to give to her not as a cheering up gift, because I didn’t know her animal died. And once after I got my mission call, and once after dropping her off back at her house after Prom as mentioned before.
I don’t want to ruin our relationship because I value her a lot as a friend, but I think I’m seeing something more, and I don’t want to regret not doing anything.
Sorry for the long story, just looking for experienced insights. I don’t want to be “…falling in love as she’s walking away,” haha. Thank you for reading through my plight, and for those of you who respond.

my birthday was the 13th and my 2 closest friends didn’t text or call. i cant lie, i am pretty hurt about it since they’re basically my only friends. im someone who always tried to show my love and appreciation for my friends on their birthdays. buying them lots of gifts, decorating their rooms with balloons and etc. is it wrong for me to be upset?
one of them watched my snapchat and instagram story with my birthday post up and still didnt say anything. her birthday was just a few weeks ago and i made sure to call, text, and post some of my favorite memories of us together. im also supposed to be visiting her this summer. should i bring it up that it bothered me that she didnt wish me a happy birthday or is that petty?

Play is a fundamental aspect of childhood development, fostering creativity, social skills, and cognitive growth. For children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), however, engaging in play activities can present unique challenges. In this article, we'll explore 10 autism-inclusive play ideas designed to promote development and provide enjoyable experiences for children on the autism spectrum.
Sensory Play
Sensory play engages the senses and can be particularly beneficial for children with autism who may have sensory processing differences. Consider setting up sensory bins filled with materials like rice, sand, water beads, or textured fabrics. Encourage exploration and experimentation with different textures, smells, and tactile sensations to stimulate the senses and promote sensory integration.
Pretend Play
Pretend play offers opportunities for imaginative expression and social interaction. Create a dress-up corner with costumes and props, or set up a pretend kitchen with play food and utensils. Encourage children to role-play different scenarios, such as cooking a meal, going on a pretend adventure, or acting out everyday activities. Pretend play can help develop language skills, creativity, and social understanding.
Visual Supports
Many children with autism benefit from visual supports to enhance communication and understanding. Incorporate visual supports into play activities by using picture schedules, visual timers, or visual cue cards to provide structure and predictability. Visual supports can help children navigate transitions, follow routines, and comprehend expectations, promoting independence and reducing anxiety.
Structured Games
Structured games with clear rules and expectations can provide opportunities for learning and social interaction. Choose games that are simple, repetitive, and easy to understand, such as matching games, board games with visual cues, or turn-taking activities. Structured games can help children develop important skills like turn-taking, sharing, and following directions, while also providing opportunities for fun and enjoyment.
Movement Activities
Physical activity is essential for promoting gross motor skills, coordination, and body awareness. Plan movement activities that cater to the interests and preferences of children with autism, such as yoga, dancing, or obstacle courses. Provide sensory-friendly spaces with options for proprioceptive input, such as crash pads, trampolines, or therapy swings. Movement activities not only support physical development but also help regulate sensory processing and promote emotional well-being.
Nature Exploration
Nature offers a rich sensory environment filled with opportunities for exploration and discovery. Take children on nature walks to observe plants, animals, and natural landscapes. Encourage hands-on exploration by collecting leaves, rocks, or shells, and incorporating them into sensory activities or crafts. Nature exploration fosters curiosity, appreciation for the environment, and connections with the natural world.
Art and Creativity
Art activities provide a creative outlet for self-expression and can be adapted to accommodate the needs of children with autism. Offer a variety of art materials and techniques, such as painting, drawing, collage, or sculpting. Focus on process-oriented art rather than product-focused outcomes, allowing children to explore materials freely and express themselves without pressure. Art activities support fine motor skills, creativity, and sensory exploration.
Social Stories
Social stories are short narratives that describe social situations, concepts, or expectations in a structured and visual format. Create social stories related to play activities, such as going to a playground, attending a birthday party, or participating in group games. Use simple language, clear visuals, and personalized details to help children understand what to expect and how to navigate social interactions. Social stories can reduce anxiety, improve social skills, and enhance participation in play activities.
Technology-Based Play
Technology can be a valuable tool for engaging children with autism and supporting their development. Explore interactive apps, educational games, or virtual reality experiences that cater to the interests and learning styles of children with autism. Use technology-based play activities to target specific skills, such as communication, academic concepts, or social skills, while also providing engaging and motivating experiences.
Joint Attention Activities
Joint attention refers to the ability to share attention with others and coordinate attention between objects, people, and events. Plan activities that promote joint attention, such as building with blocks, playing with toys that require turn-taking, or engaging in interactive games like peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake. Use prompts, modeling, and reinforcement to encourage children to attend to and interact with others, fostering social engagement and communication skills.
If you're seeking aba therapy for autism virginia beach,va, look no further! Our dedicated team offers comprehensive Applied Behavior Analysis services tailored to meet the individual needs of children and adults on the autism spectrum. With a focus on evidence-based interventions and personalized treatment plans, we are committed to helping individuals with autism reach their full potential and thrive in all aspects of life. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you and your family on the journey towards growth and success.
Conclusion
Play is a powerful vehicle for promoting development, fostering social connections, and enriching the lives of children with autism. By incorporating autism-inclusive play ideas into everyday activities, we can create meaningful opportunities for learning, growth, and enjoyment. Whether through sensory exploration, imaginative play, structured games, or nature adventures, every play experience has the potential to unlock new possibilities and support the unique strengths and needs of children on the autism spectrum. Let's continue to explore, create, and play together, building a more inclusive and enriching world for all children.

Little weird one...
Met this girl on hinge a few weeks ago and it started out great. We were texting what seemed like non-stop, and initially bonded over one of my captions stating I need a Wedding date for some weddings I am going to this summer.
Last Saturday I invited her out and after her wanting to, she didn't due to her living an hour away and having a broke down car. Later that night around 2 am as I got home from the bars she was spamming me that shes coming to my city and how her and her friend want to come drink and stay the night. I was out for my birthday so I was more drunk than I should have been and kept drifting off and waking up. She got to my house closer to 5 am, and I said she can come in but I am sleeping instead of drinking and she ended up going to her friends place that she brought with her.
We were sort of planning brunch Sunday morning but I didn't give her a definitive answer, and she ubered back to her city, While on the uber back she was begging me to come to her city. First for brunch, then dinner and ultimately we decided on Dinner. She went fishing on a boat with some friends (I was thinking maybe a date type thing but she claimed all dudes on the boat have GFs and its a friend group) and lost her phone in the river and didn't hit me up till monday.
This is the turn... Monday she apologized saying she lost her phone (she was texting me on an iPad) and she just went kind of distant. Not responding in the same style, long responses, etc... This went on to Wednesday were I hit her up saying if she still wanted to be my wedding date as one was coming up soon and I had to let my friend know if I had a +1 due to a head count. She apologized for being distant, said she really wants to be my +1 and that was that. Thursday we picked up the conversations and while it wasn't as good as the beginning, she was responding fast. She ended up leaving me on read and we haven't hit each other up since.
I know I have only known her a few weeks and while yes I do talk to some other girls, she just hasn't left my mind. I leave for a trip here Saturday for a couple weeks and was thinking about hitting her up when I'm back but I just can't shake this one... Thoughts?

hi guys, i have a few hours left of my birthday.
Today was really weird, lots of good things happened but i just cant help but think what ive done wrong. my boyfriend all of a sudden started being so cold and dry. He wrote me a small letter at midnight and also stayed with me at times he usually doesnt. but when it came to the rest of the day, towards the end of our daily call suddenly he starts acting weird. I ask him if everythings okay and he says yeah, but i could tell from his voice there’s something wrong. its so confusing because when it was his time to sleep, he asks me to call an hour later and acts sweet to me. after that, he texts me when he wakes up and talks to me so cold. I also showed him something i bought, and he tells me i had no reason to buy that and continues to ask me why i did like its wrong for me to do so. i asked if it is and he said its my money, my choice whatever i want to do with it. i dont know what thats supposed to mean. I ask if hes angry with me and he just replies in a random emoji its so confusing. i dont know what i did wrong. i enjoyed my birthday but i cant stop thinking about whats happening. its not as fun without him either. idk :(

I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
​
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
​
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

So for some back story, my anchor partner and I are both pretty close to poly-saturated at one, and both have lighter connections with others. (We both acknowledge that hierarchy exists so that we can do our best to be good to our other partners, but we definitely spend the most time and bandwidth on each other.)
Partner is brand new to poly- our relationship is their first experience with it. I’ve been at it for a few years. I am an anxious person, and admittedly have a hard time when Partner starts dating someone new until they settle into a groove. I handle this anxiety myself, by planning my evenings well and keeping busy when Partner is doing this- and I do make sure they know that my anxiety is my own responsibility to deal with, and that I like to know when their dates are (mostly so I don’t worry when they aren’t answering my texts, as we generally communicate quite a bit throughout the day) and for a quick good night text when they are headed to bed.
I like to keep it parallel until metas are established parts of any partner’s life, and then ideally kitchen table eventually. It usually takes me around 6-8 months before this transition feels right.
We’ve recently made it through a very rough patch. Partner was revealing too much to new Meta (they’d been dating about 2 months) about me and my struggles with anxiety, and telling me too much about how Meta was questioning why I’m polyamorous if I have so much anxiety about Partner when they are on dates. The hinging contributed to Meta and I not having particularly favourable feelings towards each other, then an event happened recently where I had an art show where I was featured and Meta decided to show up, despite me being uncomfortable with it, and not yet ready to meet. So I’m still feeling a bit sensitive about that. This whole thing almost split me and Partner up, because I didn’t feel like they were standing up for me, and that they were more focused on Meta’s feelings than mine, when the art show was my show, and actually had no real relevance to Meta.
Fast forward about 2 weeks- my birthday fell midweek this year and I had weekend plans to leave town and celebrate with Partner and a few close friends. Partner tells me on the weekend before that they have date plans on my actual birthday with Meta because that was the only day that worked that week. I realize that I had not specified that I wanted to hang out with them on my birthday, and they asked if it was important to me that we did. It was, and I asked them to spend my birthday with me. So they canceled their date and spent my birthday with me.
Here’s my question: is it unreasonable that this hurt my feelings? It hurt even more that it was with this particular meta.
My mono friends immediately jump to “it should go without saying that Partner spends your bday with you!” and then I feel deeply defensive of Partner. My polyam friends do the “wellllll, you set your bday plans for the weekend, so maybe they just thought that was it.” type of reasoning.
I just feel like we’ve been through SO MUCH recently, that this being yet another problem would break us.
I don’t want to bottle this up just to have it explode later, but I also am hoping that I can just let it go. I think I need advice on how to deal.
(Partner and I are both very Audhd, so keep in mind that we often need very explicit communication.)

I’ve been no contact with my father for a little over a year now. For some reason, I’ve been struggling a lot lately. I think about him a lot and find myself crying. I think I’m experiencing grief of the father I wish I had. Anyways, my father was actually the one to initiate no contact with me. He was emotionally and verbally abusive, and also tried to pocket scholarship money from me. However, I stuck it out and decided to maintain a relationship with him even after my mother and siblings went no contact with him.
In the end, my dad is an incredibly paranoid man and made a conspiracy that I’m involved with some issues he has with my mom (which I’m not) and he told me he won’t be speaking to me for a while. He has wished me a happy birthday almost a year ago, but I haven’t reached out to him at all. I decided I need to maintain no contact, because it’s absurd he initiated it when he’s my abuser.
Anyways, he has some of my belongings that I’d like back and I currently live in a different state. I want to email or text him requesting he mails the items to me. I am also considering mentioning that I cannot have a relationship with him until he gets some sort of help with mental health. I’d also explain why, go over some of the trauma he’s caused me. I’m sure he doesn’t consider anything he’s done to me as harmful, and might not even remember most of it.
I know I might not get a good reaction out of this. I’m not entirely sure why I want to send this message, mainly for closure and some venting.
Have you guys ever reached out in a similar way, calling them out for trauma they caused? How did it go? Did you regret it?

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and finally I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

I have already posted on here somewhere about how I and my current bf are looking to hopefully get married sometime in the not too distant future. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I could not be happier.
This is about my first boyfriend, let's call him Dick.
I was 24 and he was 19. We met while I was working on a college campus at a Burrito Bowl. Well, actually, that's not strictly true. Although I did not attend that particular college, I was often involved in a religious organization that met on that college campus-in addition to working there. We met when I joined the Discord server for that religious organization, and offered to bring dinner to meet new people. He was the only person to take me up on my offer, and so on a storming night in the middle of a week in October, I rolled up to the campus meeting center with a wagon full of:
-a pot of soup
-tortilla chips
-seasoned bread
-butter
-shredded cheese
-sour cream
-fork, knives, spoons, glasses, and folded cloth napkins
Yes, I basically brought an absolute stranger a full meal. For free. On a college campus. In a wagon.
We hit it off and became really fast friends. Really fast friends. Fast forward to end of April the following year. He and I were hanging out together because he wasn't going to be coming back to that college the following semester. He had lost his scholarship because of bad grades. The night before he was supposed to leave, I took him to one of my favorite restaurants as a farewell treat. It was going to be two years before I could see him again. After I dropped him back off at his dorm, I went to run a few errands of my own. Meanwhile, he is texting me that he hasn't packed anything and he doesn't know where to start. I offered to come help, and he said please.
I was at the store while he was texting me, so I bought for myself a 1.25L bottle of coke, and some chocolate. I got THE text as soon as I had finished checking out: "Hey when you get here, I'd like to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
I pull up to the dorm and go up to his room, plop myself onto the couch. He left to go get something out of his car that he had forgotten. When he came back, he nervously sat down on the arm of another chair in the room, and proceeded to drink MY coke and chowed down on MY chocolate, while rambling on about how he thought I was super sweet and that he really like me and that he hadn't intended to come back, but now, it was his entire goal to come back one day for me. He didn't ask me right then to be his gf, but said he wanted time to think about it, but would I also think about what my answer would be?
I said I would, and proceeded to get his entire dorm room cleaned and packed by 9 am the next morning. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we were incredibly happy--for three weeks.
At the end of three weeks, we were talking while he was traveling to and from work, but there just wasn't anything there anymore. He started ("inadvertently") giving me lists of people, animals I would have to please and things I would have to do in order to be his gf. He didn't want to talk to me anymore, I never knew if he would call me or not, or if he would just randomly hang up on me in the middle of a call. He would constantly rather play video games or listen to music than talk to me. I was becoming more and more discouraged and feeling very boxed in. Also, I never received any gifts, flowers or presents from him our entire relationship. I know it is kind of hard to do long distance, but I managed to send TWO packages to him containing meaningful gifts. Side note for those interested: my current bf either sends me flowers/gifts via DoorDash, Instacart, etc., or has me go out and buy what I like and then refunds me the money. I love this so much.
I went away to go volunteer at another religious organization. Right before I left, I bought a plane ticket to go visit him for my birthday week. Everything was arranged. During the camp, we broke up. Here's how.
He knew that he was my first ever for everything. First bf, first serious relationship, first KISS. He played that, and played it hard. He knew that I had boundaries and that I would stick to them, even if I was embarrassed or thought it would hurt him. I was not going to budge on what I thought was right. He told me that his plan was basically to kiss me the minute I stepped off the plane to see if there was any "spark" there. Idk what would have happened if he didn't find the "spark". When I hinted that I might not be comfortable with that, he asked me why, and I said it was the way I was raised. He got upset, told me that he was starting to hate my parents and said that this was the way things were going to go. I hung up with him, called my mom and told her everything. I got her to begrudgingly allow me that if Dick wanted to kiss, I could. That is all I wanted, sex wasn't even on the menu.
At this point, I am mad at Dick. So I called him back and ranted off on him about how I felt about the entire thing, but mentioned that I had "permission" from my mother to kiss him IF I chose. He didn't let it go, but got his mother involved. We argued back and forth for two days. Finally, two days before camp ended, he texted me, asking if we could have an honest conversation. The basics of what he said, over TEXT:
"I love you, and when I say it I do mean it, but I mean it more in the way that you would tell your sister."
I was so distraught and stressed out that I couldn't think of anything else to do other than pray. Over the period of an hour, I literally typed out my heart and feelings to the God I thought I believed in, to Dick. At the end of it, Dick's entire response? "Don't you know that would've been better said to the Big Man Upstairs?"
I ended things immediately.
We tried to remain friends (at first this was mutual agreement, and then entirely his idea) but it didn't work out well at all. All I can say is that Karma is an absolute bitch, and in this matter I am 100% on her side. Hell, I would've even given her the weaponry needed to screw Dick over, even without her asking.
A few months go by and he ends up getting into another relationship. The gf doesn't know me, but tells him that he needs to block me or else. So he does, I end up having to leave the Discord server for the religious group, and I lost contact with most of my support group because of this. I should mention here that these were MY friends, not his. He wasn't even from the same state as I was. I found out from my best friend that just a few short weeks later, Dick went into the server and posted a prayer request about how his gf was missing. Later, he posted another, and even later posted a third. My best friend rang my phone off the hook that night trying to get in touch with me.
Apparently, Dick's gf was incredibly mentally unstable. She had threatened to go end her life, and disappeared. Nobody knew where she was. Dick eventually called the cops, and when they found her, she GASLIT him saying that he was so untrusting, was just the worst, he made her feel that way, all the jazz. They broke it off and I believe she may have been institutionalized for a little bit.
So yeah. I think I'm way happier now, just sayin. :)

Hi all - new weekly SQL question is up and ready.

Q. First-touch marketing attribution

Difficulty - Hard
First-touch marketing attribution is a model for assigning credit to the marketing channel that initiated a user's first interaction with a brand/product. In this model, only the first touchpoint a user interacts with will receive credit for any subsequent conversions.
For example, if a user clicks on a Facebook ad, then later clicks on a Google search ad and makes a purchase of a product, the Facebook ad would be credited with the conversion because it was the first marketing touchpoint the user interacted with.
You have a table named user_event that contains data on user interactions with a marketing campaign (e.g., impressions, clicks), and a table with user purchases called user_purchase.
Write a SQL query that calculates the conversion rate of each channel based on the first-touch attribution model. The output should have channel & conversion_rate (rounded to 3 decimal points) in the descending order of the conversion_rate.
Conversion Rate = # of users who made a purchase using first-touch attribution / # of users who interacted with the channel

Table: user_event

COLUMN NAME	TYPE
user_id	INTEGER
event_type	TEXT
channel	TEXT
product_id	INTEGER
date	DATE

Table: user_purchase

COLUMN NAME	TYPE
user_id	INTEGER
product_id	INTEGER
date	DATE

You can try solving it for free at: https://www.analystnextdoor.com/question/public

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
She then continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me.

Not sure if I’m doing the right thing so I need second opinion if I’m being way too trusting and forgiving. So on the night of my boyfriend’s birthday I had the curiosity of checking my bf’s phone. For context it’s been a while since I’ve gone through it because I’ve previously had issues of him following inappropriate sexual content. He had porn on his Twitter, thirst trap TikTok’s, and followed half naked IG models. When I had found out I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him having porn or naked girls so he immediately removed it. Since it would be pushing my boundaries. I was consistent on making it known. I even said to not like other girls pictures. And he doesn’t so plus for him. This was 3 months into the relationship. In April he had commented that he watches pornhub and I appreciated the honesty but what had upset me was that I had mentioned before that I wasn’t not okay with naked girls and any sort of porn and he said that he thought that pornhub was okay since it’s normal most people use it and he said that he wouldn’t watch seeing how I cried and made me feel. I had even told him that I don’t want onlyfans also. Well on his birthday may 7th I had seen in his emails a notification for only fans. A login email for April before our second conversation. There was a chat for March 30th in which he was engaging with an OF girl. She sent a photo along with him sending one. The chat was short and then I had noticed a recent one where she sends a photo of her privates and him replying with a short message. Before, he had claimed that he was no longer that person and when I confronted him, he admitted to being a lustful person and is ashamed of that part of himself and he said he didn’t want to believe he had a problem with porn. He said he went to OF because I had told him I wasn’t comfortable with sending nudes which is true so he didn’t want to ask me so he resorted to OF which made me breakdown. Seeing he’s used it twice to text the same girl about a week apart. He says to give him another chance and 3 months to change his behavior. Am I right for taking him back on one condition of working on it and going to therapy?

Försöker dela de flertal av artiklar som kommer ut om den andra delen av granskningen här så folk får en helhetsbild över de olika avslöjanden som skett.
TV4 - Här hånas Tidö-partierna av SD:s trollfabrik: ”Skit på Moderaterna”

SD:s trollkonton riktar dolda attacker mot regeringspartierna – trots att de i Tidöavtalet lovat att hålla en god ton mot varandra.
Flera av de konton som Kalla fakta, under granskningen, har kunnat koppla till Sverigedemokraterna, sprider innehåll som kritiserar och driver med de andra partierna i Tidösamarbetet.
I ett klipp styr SD regeringspartierna som marionettdockor. I ett annat förlöjligas Johan Pehrson.
I en dold inspelning berättar en av de anställda på kommunikationsavdelningen vad han använder för typ av musik när han antingen ska göra narr av Moderaterna eller ”skita på” dem.
I en annan inspelning instruerar kommunikationschefen Joakim Wallerstein de anställda att skapa innehåll riktat mot EU-valkandidaten Alice Teodorescu Måwe (KD).
Kontona sprider vilseledande information om Sverige och politiska motståndare och har sammanlagt fått över 27 miljoner visningar under årets första tre månader.

SVT - TV4-granskning: Här är anonyma kontona som SD kontrollerar – kallas ”trollfabrik” internt

Sammanlagt hade de runt 260 000 följare.

DN - TV4-granskning: SD ville rekrytera ”nätkrigare”

Inför dold kamera kallas medarbetare för ”nätkrigare” och verksamheten för en ”trollfabrik”.
Kalla Fakta menar att man har identifierat sammanlagt 23 konton på Tiktok, Youtube, Instagram och Facebook som kontrolleras av SD:s kommunikationsavdelning utan att det framgår.
På ett anonymt Tiktok-konto som enligt Kalla Fakta drivs av SD kan man höra S-ledaren Magdalena Andersson säga saker om gängledaren Rawa Majid som hon aldrig har sagt.

TT - TV4: SD massproducerar vilseledande information

På kontona sprids AI-fejkade filmer och inlägg där invandrare framställs som farliga. Det innehåll som produceras, till stor del så kallade memes, humoristiska inlägg med bilder, filmer och text, går bland annat ut på att framställa invandrare som våldsamma och farliga och att angripa politiska motståndare.
I ett klipp är SD-ledaren Jimmie Åkesson inklippt som förare till en stridsvagn som avlossar skott på Rinkeby. I ett annat jämförs Vänsterpartiets Nooshi Dadgostar med Sovjetdiktatorn Josef Stalin.

Aftonbladet - TV4: SD anlitar ”nätkrigare” för att sprida desinformation

Kalla fakta kan även avslöja att lönerna för de drygt tio personer som arbetar med att sprida olika typer av material tas direkt ur Sverigedemokraternas partikassa – som i sin tur får skattepengar i form av partistöd.

Omni - Analysen: Regeringen vill ge igen – kan skapa sår

Kalla faktas avslöjanden om SD:s intensiva användande av anonyma trollkonton kan skada Tidösamarbetet. Den bedömningen gör SVT:s inrikespolitiska kommentator Mats Knutson. De andra Tidöpartierna – M, KD och L – kan antas försöka ”ge igen och angripa Sverigedemokraterna tillbaka. Det kan skapa sår som det tar tid att läka”, skriver han. DN:s krönikör Johan Croneman stör lovord över TV4-programmets granskning av SD:s trollkonton, men tror att uppgifterna kommer att ”rinna av” partiet.

TV4 - Här är SD:s trollkonton – se listan

TikTok:
mememumriken
markusallard
alexanderbardposting
magdalenaanderssonharfel
sdwaifu
ludvigaspling
sdtobbe
sverjedemokraterna
jimmiemoments
sdregeringen
meanwhilesweden
tiktokpundaren
veckansutvisning
YouTube:
FilosofiFabriken
jimmiemoments
meanwhileinswe
Instagram:
sozzefasoner
sdregeringen
vkkfb
Facebook:
Politiskt inkorrekt
Sozzefasoner
SDregeringen
Vita Kränkta Kvinnor