In a world where the digital revolution has transformed every corner of our lives, how do we sift through the noise to find the gems? Is it possible that, amidst a lot of different online education platforms, one stands out for its commitment to genuine learning? Recently, an emblem of integrity in the online educational field has been at the center of discussions, some of which have unfairly hinted at GO Global being a Ponzi scheme. Yet, those familiar with its mission know that these allegations are baseless. This article aims to dispel the myths and spotlight the transformative impact GO Global has on its worldwide e-learning community.

An Example of Authentic Education

In an era where digital platforms often find themselves mired in controversy, a question surfaces amidst a sea of misinformation: Is GO Global a pyramid or Ponzi scheme? A closer examination reveals a truth far removed from such baseless claims. This website clearly exemplifies what educational excellence is, offering a service of authentic learning in a digital space frequently overshadowed by dubious ventures. The platform's foundation is built upon the enrichment of minds and the empowerment of people, diverging sharply from the hollow, profit-driven motives typically associated with pyramid and Ponzi schemes.
Distinguished by its complete curriculum that spans across diverse fields from technology to business and leadership to self-development, GO Global is committed to delivering real-world knowledge and skills. The platform is designed to nurture critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving abilities, ensuring learners acquire valuable information while also developing the competencies to apply this knowledge effectively in their personal and professional lives. By doing so, GO Global rejects MLM (multi-level marketing) tactics, often linked with Ponzi schemes, focusing instead on creating value through education.
Industry experts and educators who are experts in their fields carefully select the range and depth of courses offered. This ensures that users are exposed to the latest trends, tools, and theories, keeping them at the cutting edge of their profession or area of interest. Furthermore, the interactive and engaging nature of the courses nurtures a rich academic environment where students can thrive.

GO Global Is not a Ponzi Scheme but a Secure Learning Environment

In the industry of online education, security and transparency are imperatives. At the heart of GO Global's mission is a commitment to providing an academic environment that is enriching, secure, and transparent. This commitment is evident in several key areas:

• Data Protection and Privacy: Understanding the importance of personal information, the website employs state-of-the-art encryption technologies to protect user data. This ensures that learners' personal and financial information is safeguarded against unauthorized access, affirming that GO Global is not a Ponzi scheme but a platform founded on trust and security.
  
• Course Integrity and Authenticity: Each course on the platform undergoes rigorous vetting to ensure its content is up-to-date and of the highest quality. By doing so, GO Global rejects MLM tactics that prioritize recruitment over real value, focusing instead on educational excellence.
  
• Transparent Communication: Open lines of communication are maintained with learners, providing clear information on courses, policies, and updates. This transparency is a cornerstone of the trust between GO Global and its community.
  
• Feedback and Support Systems: A responsive feedback mechanism allows learners to voice concerns, provide suggestions, and engage with the platform. This feedback is crucial to continually enhancing the learning process and maintaining the platform's integrity.
  

By prioritizing these aspects, the website ensures that learners receive a top-tier education by participating in a platform that respects their rights and values their trust. This approach dispels any notion that GO Global could be a Ponzi scheme, highlighting its role as a reliable and ethical educational provider.

Cultivating an Empowering Worldwide Community

Is GO Global a pyramid or Ponzi scheme? This question becomes increasingly incongruous when one considers the platform's dedication to cultivating an international community of students. Far from the insular, self-serving structure of a pyramid scheme, GO Global promotes an environment of collaboration, growth, and mutual support. This commitment to leadership development goes beyond geographical boundaries, bringing together individuals from diverse backgrounds with a shared goal of personal and professional advancement.
GO Global's leadership initiatives are designed to inspire, challenge, and empower learners. Through a combination of courses, workshops, and community forums, people are encouraged to develop the skills necessary for leadership as well as the mindset and vision that define effective leaders. This holistic focus ensures that emerging leaders are well-equipped to navigate the complexities of the modern world, drive positive change, and influence their communities and organizations positively.

A Pillar of Genuine Educational Growth

Getting to the end of our exploration, the notion of GO Global being a Ponzi scheme is a myth that fails to stand up against the wealth of evidence showcasing the platform's commitment to genuine, impactful education. With its broad spectrum of courses, a worldwide community of students, and a steadfast dedication to inclusivity and quality, the website is a shining example of how online education should be. It's much more than just a hub for learning, it's a movement towards creating a more knowledgeable, skilled, and interconnected society. As we look towards the future, GO Global continues to open doors for individuals around the planet, proving that education is indeed the key to unlocking human potential and promoting global progress.
In a world where the digital revolution has transformed every corner of our lives, how do we sift through the noise to find the gems? Is it possible that, amidst a lot of different online education platforms, one stands out for its commitment to genuine learning? Recently, an emblem of integrity in the online educational field has been at the center of discussions, some of which have unfairly hinted at GO Global being a Ponzi scheme. Yet, those familiar with its mission know that these allegations are baseless. This article aims to dispel the myths and spotlight the transformative impact GO Global has on its worldwide e-learning community.

Hi everyone,
I'm a first-generation American who, like my own parents, left home at a young age to move abroad. I moved from DC to Spain when I turned 18 in 2016, moved to New Zealand in 2019, and moved to Australia in 2021, where I still live now.
Over the last two years I have developed a longing to move back to the US so strong that it dominates my brain 24/7. I miss the food, the large quantities of cities, insulated houses, the outgoing and friendly people....oh my god, I miss the social culture so bad. It's so different than where I am now (Melbourne) and I'm sick of feeling so invisible and unwelcome. I really feel like I'm wasting my youth here.
I'd prefer not to move back to DC as I find it quite small, bland, and unnecessarily expensive. I'm a lover of art, abstract things, indie music, wearing whatever I want no matter how odd it looks...there isn't much of a scene for me there.
What I really look for in the next place I live is: good public transport, diversity (for all the things I dislike about DC I love how multicultural it is. I had friends from all over the world growing up), third spaces, a good arts and music scene, and friendly people.
I also really value the ability to travel abroad easily (i.e. be able to reach other countries in a single flight, the ability to spend long weekends away). The nearest international destination (besides New Zealand) from Melbourne is Indonesia, and it's still a 6 hour flight. The isolation here is driving me insane.
I'm a UI designer currently in an entry-level role. I'm also 25F and left-leaning, so don't think I'd fare well in red states.
Would appreciate your knowledge in helping me find my future home. Thank you ❤️

Yes, I had a lot of time. I originally played this game when it launched during the pandemic and stopped at 1k trophies, and picked it up again ~3 years later. I want to share my thoughts about the last ~15 days while it's still fresh and answer any questions people might have.
I have a 43% win rate in 3600 BR games, and 300+ games with each of the following heroes: Angel, Bastion, Blizzard, Blot, Cyclops, Ghost, Levi, Lynx, Ramsay, Raven, Sparkle, Vi. I have the most fun with Angel, Raven, Ramsay, and Lynx.
I've unlocked every hero except Alice, paid for Blizzard and Vi. I have a full pg set and two skins waiting for when she arrives.

Trophy Tiers

Broadly speaking, the percentage of poor players decreases as you gain higher trophies. Being completely honest, I saw a bunch of mistakes made by enemies, teammates, and myself at 9k trophies. At 10k+ trophies, most of the mistakes I see are my own.

Low Tier: <3k

I have a second account on an old phone at this tier that I use to play under powered / rarely used heroes in casual games. It's mostly bots and occasional humans with rudimentary gameplay.

Mid Tier: 3-7k

People are still misplaying all the time, but in general are improving and trying to coordinate as a team. Pickup teams are pretty easy to create and people are generally pretty friendly. Honestly, I probably had the most fun at this tier since I enjoy playing the game casually with a variety of heroes and different team compositions (vs trying to win all the time).
There's still plenty of bots in offpeak hours.

High Tier: >7k

This is the first tier where it starts to get competitive. Relatedly, this is also the first tier I started seeing bad manners and griefing.
Early on when I was around 2k, I teamed up with some high trophy players and played in 10k games. That's when I learned first hand how much faster and aggressive the game was. On certain maps (Bank, Village, Hotel), fights will often initiate after picking up ~2 items.
As for bad manners, I'm used to it from playing plenty of other online games but enjoyed the fact that Bullet Echo largely doesn't have it. However at 7k+, now you get a lot of people bm'ing when they kill you, if two people fight over an item, etc. It most commonly manifests as sprays/stickers, but also a lot of head shaking and the occasional teamkill grenade for taking "their" item.
Pickup teams are a lot more mercenary. People join up, and if the team loses 1-2 most will leave; there's little to no chat banter anymore. If someone misplays a few times, they often get kicked from the team, the team is disbanded, and/or they get defriended. This, uhh, has totally never happened to me.

10k

The "end game." Heroes' power typically ranges 1650 - 2200 (Ultimate level 70 to Divine). There's relatively few bots during peak times.
The games are fast and brutal, and any small mistake is quickly exploited. My winrate has dropped significantly even when playing my better characters, but I'm learning. Pre-10k, I'd typically open 3x battle and skull chests under 30 minutes. Now, opening battle and skull chests has become significantly harder.

Bravery Road

I don't have any experience with this tier since I lack Divine heroes. Others have shared that it's mostly full of bots.

Heroes

Tier List

This is based on 9k+ trophy BR in the hands of a good player:

• S: Vi, Lynx, Mirage
• A: Blizzard, Ramsay, Raven, Dragoon, Angel, Freddie, Arnie
• B: Firefly, Shenji, Ghost, Alice, Leviathan, Hurricane, Satoshi, Sparkle, Tess, Levi
• C: Blot, Bertha, Doc, Cyclops, Slayer
• D: Bastion, Stalker, Smog

Bastion

Bastion is great for bot farming and low / mid tier gameplay, but is easily outplayed in 7k+ games. I had a bunch of Bastion friends that I invited to 7k+ games and they've always left after a few games due to being outplayed.
Outplaying Bastion is usually done through kiting or baiting and flanking with teammates since their range is too short and movement speed is too slow. Bastion (and Blot to an extent) is outclassed by more mobile shield heroes: Angel, Hurricane, Satoshi.
Leviathan gets a special call out since his turret is great for zoning and has extended spray that can be abused to hit behind walls.

Grenade Users (Firefly/Shenji/Sparkles/Freddie)

Pre-10k, most of these are terrible nade spammers hoping to get an easy kill. I've seen so many Firefly users use more nades than bullets in a round, adding little value chucking nades into thin air. Shenji users, please use your nades to zone the enemies and less about trying to kill them. Also stop burning the grass because you can, especially when you're up against snipers.

Vi

My win rate with Vi is significantly higher than the rest of the field, which shows how broken she is. Even in 9k+ games, the winning team usually has at least one Vi. I think she needs to be nerfed, and she's my most played and highest leveled character (Stellar).
I also have some bad experiences after teaming up with a bunch of Vi-only tryhards (about 6-8 different teammates for 5+ games each). They're generally incredibly aggressive and good at racking up a high kill count, but often lack map awareness or team dynamics (besides spamming, "Let's go!").

Tips

League

Climb as fast as you can, as high as you can since you get more loot per chest depending on your league level, and streaking gets harder the higher you climb in trophies. Bot farming (read below) is the easiest way to streak games and hit the next league level.
I think there is an argument to be made about staying in purple 1. I found it significantly easier to win most of the contracts at purple 1, but I was grouped with all the other grinders once I hit purple 2. This may or may not be a red herring.

Spending Money

Contracts

• 7 day contract hacks (and assuming you have enough time to grind) is the most effective use of money.
• Consistently winning the 21 hr contract for 300 jokers is paramount.
• 3 hr contract (particularly in off hours) can be pretty easy to win for 20 jokers.
• Read the contracts carefully. Often you can use a hero to progress against 2 or more contracts simultaneously.
• Bot farming and SvS is usually the easiest way to quickly get contract points.
• Ghost in KOTH is a great way to grind "The Collector" contract.

Star Pass

• I don't mind spending $15 to get the new hero via the base pass, but I don't think the premium pass is worth it.
• I didn't get tiers 2 and 3 for Vi but still got her to Stellar with a lot of grinding via contract hacks and jokers.

Technology

It's $10/mo. You get a random hero motivated and 8 drone plugins (2 of each color) per week, and 10 tech tokens/day. 70 tech tokens/week is enough to get drone blueprints, 2xpersonal gears boxes, some squad gear, 500 nuts, and 5 costume tokens. Also your name is highlighted in gold.
I think it's great for the first month or two for the personal gear and drone parts, but not sure if it's worth keeping afterwards.

Bots

Recognizing bots means you can adapt your strategy when playing with and against them.

Identification

Pre-game

• in the same bot syndicates: CCCP, Botsavethequeen, Botdamnit, 486DX, etc
• are listed after human players
• don't have drones
• never play as the newer characters: Blizzard, Vi, Shenji, Ramsay, Lynx, Tess

You start recognizing the bot names after a few hundred games.

In game

• immediately opens chests
• goes in a straight line while swinging their flashlight, humans tend to run with their flashlight facing forward except when checking corners
• doesn't use any abilities

Farming (BR, SvS, sabo, koth)

Bot farming is a great way to hit the streak for a league jump or grind for festival tokens.
I find sabo, SvS, and sometimes arcade in offpeak hours (or other region's servers) the easiest modes for bot farming.
Generally bots will collect a few items and start roaming looking for enemies. If a firefight ensues, the bots will start swarming towards noise like zombies.
The best characters to farm bots are those that can do a lot of damage without taking any themselves. Since bots will run in a straight line towards you, assault rifles and snipers excel at bot farming.
Recommended heroes: Bastion, Satoshi, Blot, Hurricane, Levi, Firefly, Blizzard, Cyclops Not recommended: Ghost/Stalker (bots are not affected by cloak), Slayer (fire rate is too slow), SMG users (can't reload fast enough when swarmed)

As teammates

It sucks to get bots as teammates, but if you understand their behavior you can take advantage of it to try and win the round.

• don't get sucked into unnecessary fights, let them die and don't bother reviving
• use them as dumb scouts to flank the enemy
• treat the round as a training exercise on how to win one-vs-many fights. It'll happen more and more often as you climb trophies

Drones

• medpro is great for tanks, assault rifles, and attacking SMGs (Angel, Alice, Freddie, Ghost)
• zenith is great for snipers, Raven/Ghost, 10k+ games
• guard is useless except for the occasional ability to zone enemies

Zenith gets increasingly valuable in 7k+ games as you never have time to revive and/or enemies will camp dead bodies. Zenith's ability to revive through walls can also be exploited.

In game tactics

This is already a long post, so I'll brain dump common improvements / mistakes that I come across. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.

• Don't be greedy and go after risky upgrades. More often than not you're going to get sucked into an early fight. Even if you win that one, you'll quickly get swarmed by bots and/or other teams. It's not worth losing a round because you might get a purple upgrade.
• Don't be greedy for early ammo and upgrades. In 7k+ games, fights can/will happen by the time you've picked up 1-2 items. Taking multiple ammo means losing an effective teammate that can shoot a weapon. If you're a low ammo user (e.g. Vi, Slayer, Bastion), opt for a 2x or 3x ammo pack and leave the 4x ammo pack for high ammo users (e.g. SMGs, assault rifles). Leave and ping optimal upgrades for teammates. This means reserving scopes for snipers, armor for machine gunners, extended magazine for SMG/shotgunners, explosive ammo for DPS.
• Shotgun users should heal at spawn and save the armor pickup for others.
• Generally stick together as a team.
• Don't follow suiciders (bots/humans) and get sucked into unnecessary fights, preferring to fight 2v3v3v3. Yes this conflicts with the above bullet point.
• Learn the map. This means knowing where are the spawns, purple chests, hot zones, and choke points. This means you can anticipate where you'll need to slow down and prepare for a fight (e.g. early game near purple chests). In low/mid tiers, human teammates often run straight for a neighboring spawn while completely ignoring the safe purple chest right behind them because they run straight ahead in the direction they were facing when spawned. I find it easiest to familiarize myself with maps by using heroes with high vision like snipers (particularly Lynx) and Raven.
• Develop map awareness. You can tell who is left based on the gun sounds and the weapon in kill notifications. Generally avoid fights with many teams remaining, and go after the last two teams as they're fighting. If machine gunners are remaining, try to find open spaces. If snipers are remaining, try to initiate fights near corners and obstacles. In low/mid tiers, human teammates will often emulate bots and run straight towards the fight with a complete lack of map awareness.
• Good Shenji users use grenades to zone enemies rather than outright damage. Bad Shenji users kill their teammates / prevent them from being useful. If you're playing with a Shenji teammate, expect that they're going to nade everything and act accordingly.
• Tess users should try to use the lightning ball judiciously against enemy shields or to zone, and not disable their teammates' shields and abilities.
• Cyclops/Raven users should not spam their skill early game, and used selectively late game. It gives away your position and in high tier games only invites unwanted attention. Learn to use scan offensively and defensively when appropriate. At higher trophies, it can be used as a feint for an invasion or to lure enemies into a trap.
• SMG users should use stimpacks offensively rather than only to heal.
• There is a time to initiate and time to fall back. In early/mid tiers, people need to learn to retreat more often (and communicate it to their teammates). I wish I had more actionable advice, but I can tell when a fight was initiated well or poorly. Don't attack that unsuspecting enemy just because you can, but attack if it's the right time to do so.

tldr

I thoroughly enjoyed playing Bullet Echo, bots and all.

Preamble

This is going to be a bit of a lengthy post so bear with me. I am going to get into boons, arcana cards, vows, and weapon/equipment choice in this post and how I eventually was able to clear the underworld at 32 fear. All of this is in context of the build I am going for and the weapon I am using. Different vows, cards, etc. may be better for different weapons and playstyles. This is not a definitive guide and I have only beaten it once so far and by sticking to one weapon during my attempts. I enjoy writing about stuff like this and hope that this can possibly help y'all.
I finished the surface on my 23rd run and then the underworld on the next for reference. I just now cleared the underworld at 32 fear on my 143rd run. Of those between were me completing testaments, trying out weapons/aspects, and chaos trials. I attempted 32 fear a total of 36 times before I finally got it. Total in game time according to steam is 74 hours lol (I had a four day weekend and my gf is out of town so this is pretty much all I did).
Proof of run

Weapon/Aspect: Momus Staff

Firstly you want to get enough resources to unlock and fully upgrade the aspect, I think 10 total nightmare? Giving your special +30 power. I wouldn't bother 32 fear until you can get it all the way up.
For a few runs while I was using the skull with Melinoe/Persephone aspect, as I was trying to complete the 20 fear testament simultaneously. Stopped since I decided I wasn't really comfortable with the skull and switched to Melinoe's staff. Did that for a while and then saw this video and decided to give the Momus staff a shot, where i then won in 7 runs after switching. It also probably helped that I changed around some vows around this time, more on that later.
Watch the video for a breakdown but essentially you want Poseidon special + legendary boon, and ideally the double moonshot hammer that gives your special 2 more projectiles that seek. He switches his binds for left and right click but I did not, up to you.
Took a minute to get used to but essentially I just spammed speciall the entire time in fights, kiting enemies when necessary. I used my cast defensively to root enemies and create space mostly until I got a 3 specific boons, more later. Did not really use omegas at all, as I turned off the magick regen card and turned on the vow that removes your magick at the start of each encounter. If I did gain some magick, I would only use it for the omega special to regain some health when it was safe in fights (5 healing if you are near it when it explodes).

Arcana Cards

This is what I used but some may find other ones more to their liking. I will explain my choices below. Be sure to upgrade these to their max potential. The descriptions that I give are referencing their maxed out bonus. I almost exclusively used my charon cards (obol points) to order 8 moon dust in the camp to upgrade faster. Also having 30 grasp is required so be sure to get that maxed out too. Just playing the game should get you there. Gathering bones and completing minor prophecies are helpful in getting more moondust and nightmare faster to upgrade your cards and aspects. I have starred the one's that I think are almost absolutely necessary.
Arcana card choices
I. The Sorceress: Not using omega moves with this build for the most part, mainly chosen to just fill out the top row to awaken the divinity card.
II. The Wayward Son: +2 health (with 50% healing reduction from a vow) is definitely helpful, some much needed passive healing.
* III. The Huntress: +50% attack and special damage when you have less than 100 magick is probably a must have. Especially in my vows set up where I pretty much never have any magick.
IV. Death: Also to just fill out the row for divinity, not really using omega moves.
* V. The Messenger: +10% dodge chance is a lifesaver.
VII. The Titan: More health (and magick) is helpful for the early game before you get any centaur hearts.
* X. The Lovers: 0 damage from bosses for 3 hits is absolutely nuts, this was a whole keepsake in the last game. Attacks that miss you from dodge or daze from Apollo don't count towards a hit as well.
XI. The Swift Runner: Just generally helpful for kiting and running around, especially with increased enemy movement from a vow.
* XII. Eternity: 3 death defiances are absolutely essential probably in any playthrough unless you are a god at not getting hit ever.
* XVIII. Origination: Enemies with 2 curses take +50% damage is fantastic and helps to absolutely shred through them
* XXII. The Champions: 3 chances to reroll boon choices among other things is pretty much a must for run consistency. I would mainly use it on my first Poseidon boon to get the special. Would also use again to try and get slip or blast damage one or legendary from him, also on Hestia to get her cast or the one that allows you to aim the cast (both possible prerequisites for their duo boon, more later).
XXIII. The Artificer: I slept on this one big time at first until I saw someone using it in a 32 heat run on youtube. Change a minor reward into a major one 3 times is fantastic and really helps in the early game. I would use all 3 in the first region for a chance to get a pom, heart, gold, boon, or hammer. I would almost put this one as a must but you do you.
XXIV. Divinity: 20% extra chance to get an epic boon. Activated by the full top row, its just nice to have to possibly get some more benefits out of boons.
Alternatives: Like I mentioned before I only activate I and IV mainly to activate divinity. You could lose them and go for IX Night (automatic charging for your hex) or XVI The Fates (+3 rolls to change location rewards). I feel like hexes are not all that impactiful personally (except for a couple). Also changing location rewards is a toss up, meh. You could also lose XI extra sprint speed to to open up 5 grasp and go for XV Stength (take and deal more damage at low hp), XVII The Boatman (get more gold at the start of the run), or XIX Excellence (higher % for rare boons offered), which all have valid arguments. In hindsight I think giving up those 3 for Stregnth or Excellence might be worth it, might try in future runs.

Oath of the Unseen Vows

Throughout my runs I experimented a lot with the various choices and found that the ones I chose are best for how I play. It is really up to you, this is just how I did it. I mostly messed around with damage taken, enemy spawns, and health, the rest pretty much stayed constant. I originally was using the 9 minute time limit per region for a majority of my runs until I switched aspects (and the 7 minute several times). I eventually decided that I was playing too aggresively to beat the clock and would lose most of, if not all my death defiances by Tartarus/Chronos, or earlier. I did still have decent amount of time to beat Chronos if I got there with the time limit, just the health and death defiance loss was too much. Here is what I went with and explanations for each, I starred the ones I think should be kept on and are relatively easy to deal with.
Vows Used
Vow of Blood (+3): Just don't get hit duh. No but seriously +60% damage to you hurts, a lot. I really wish I did not have to use this, but the alternatives I think are worse. As you play more you'll get better and learn attack patterns and how to kite effectively.
Vow of Dominance (+3): Enemies now have +30% health which is rough, but with no time limit, just take your time in killing enemies off safely.
Vow of Rebuke (+2): Enemies have 2 barriers before they can take damage, not too bad. Makes clearing enemies a bit harder, but with the poseidon boon, you apply two instances of damage with each hit. So only one special shot with the boon will clear the barrier, also the wave the shoots out of them helps to clear barriers of the other enemies.
Vow of Fury (+3): Enemies are 20% faster (and their projectiles too?! I'm pretty sure this is the case, I haven't played without it in a while so I'm not exactly sure). This one took some getting used to, not much I can say except just keep trying. Another +3 makes them 40% faster which I do not recommend. The screaming shades, wolves and their heads, thorny spinny guys in Oceanus, rats, and Chronos are all insane with 40% extra speed.
Vow of Suffering (+2): +100% for the first hit you take in each encounter. Same as Vow of Blood, its rough, wish I could go without it as well.
Vow of Commotion (+3): 60% more foes in encounters (does not affect the boss summons). Had this one a tier or two lower, or not at all, when I was experimenting with the time limit. The AOE from Poseidon definely helps here, just take your time to clear out enemies. It can get pretty bad in tartarus with the bags and skulls everywhere though so just be careful.
Vow of Haunting (+2): Enemies have 50% of spawning a revenant when killed which if left alone long enough will respawn them. These are annoying as hell but not terrible once you get used to it. On death a flaming green skull thing launches out of them and travels a bit of a distance, just run ovecollect them and they are negated, don't need to damage or whatever. Can sometimes be hard to spot if behind a wall or obstacle. Overall not that bad, its not the end of the world if you let them respawn. Definitely though go for the ones that would respawn an enemy that are hard/annoying to deal with ASAP e.g. rat spawning satyrs, wolves, any projectile shooting enemy. Sometimes I feel like rats almost always spawn a revenant which is annoying. I honestly think they should also rework this so that if an enemy respawns it can't have another revenant spawn.
* Vow of Wandering (+3): 25% chance for enemies to be from the next region. Really not that bad at all, just have to deal with some more annoying enemies with larger health pools.
Vow of Scars (+2): Healing is only 50% effective is not that bad. You only get +2 healing passively from the card now and a lot less from fountains and such, goes hand in hand with blood and suffering, you'll get better at not getting hit.
* Vow of Destitution (+2): Charon's shop (and wells) are 80% more expensive. You'll miss out some boons, healing, poms, hearts, etc. but its not awful, you will still gain a good amount of gold to usually buy a boon or something at the end of each region except Oceanus I found. Also with Poseidon in your god pool, he has some boons that can help with getting more gold like minor find doubling up, increased value of minor finds, and sunken treasure.
* Vow of Panic (+1): No more magick at the start of each encounter. In this build you don't really need it anyways so this is a freebie point of fear pretty much. Also if you decide to have the card that regens magick on it pretty much negates it after a little while.
** Vow of Forsaking (+2): This one might actually be beneficial. The two boon options you don't pick will not longer show up in your run. This is why I have the boon rerolls on, so I can guarantee to get Poseidon special on my first boon. Otherwise this helps to increase your chances of getting legendary or duo boons (if you have the prerequisites) since the boon choice pool is lowered after each pick. It is unfortunate though if both prereqs for poseidons legendary are in the given choices and you are out of rolls though.
* Vow of Arrogance (+4): Prime 10 magick for each level of rarity above common that you pick. Again, not using magick hardly in this build so doesn't really matter. Also in lower fear runs I have used this, it does not really matter all that much even when you are using omega moves.
Unused:

• Vow of Bitterness: Replace the first boon reward of each region with an onion (does not affect shop boons or trial of the gods rooms if they are the first ones you encounter). I tried this many times but it really just worsened run consistency. Also w a keepsake equipped after Erebus to guarantee a certain god's boon, that would become an onion if it was the first one I found, and then would not encounter that god again in that region.
• Vow of Desperation: Time limits for regions: 9, 7, then 5 minutes with increased fear for each increase in tier. Like I said, I stopped playing with this so I could play more carefully.
• Vow of Abandon: Negate all your arcana cards. Insane. Tried it once, it is just too much, the arcana cards are absolutely necessary I feel to clear 32 fear.

Boons/Hammers/Keepsakes/Familiar

Poseidon: Equip his keepsake at start, reroll for wave flourish (special) if needed and rarify. Afterwards look for slippery slope then crashing wave ideally. This primes you to get his legendary which gives +150% damage from splash effects to bosses. Other great ones are double up which is nuts that it can possibly double your hearts, gold, and poms you pick up. Ocean's bounty is nice to increase gold. Water fitness is pretty good if you can get 4 water elements to give you +100 health. Flood control is also nice for damage reduction.
Hestia: Equip her keepsake after Erebus if you did not already get her in your god pool (you get up to 4 gods like in Hades I). Ideally you want her both cast and glowing coal, which lets you aim your cast. Either of which in combination with slippery slope gets you access to Poseidon/Hestia duo boon scalding vapor whcih does insane damage over time. I'm not sure if you should prioritize glowing coal over her cast honestly, both have their upsides alone, but you do want both hopefully. With glowing coal so you can aim your cast since you will be fighting from a distance mostly (not always but in how I played this build I did for the most part), which can activate the steam cloud on foes with slip. Hestia cast is less safe and you need to be closer to enemies to get the steam cloud to activate, but it does more damage, continously applying steam on the enemy. Other boons like soot sprint are nice, almost like Athena's dash in the first game. Slow cooker infusion is alright but you may not get many fire elements to increase your base damage power. Flammable coating is great and helps to melt through armored enemies. Burnt offering is pretty nice to increase you health (and magick) pool if you happen to get offered to sacrifice a useless boon.
Other helpful god boons: Pretty much anything that can help apply another curse to enemies. Demeter and Aphrodite are probably the best since theirs are easy to apply without much effort like frigid sprint, gale force, glamour gain, and passion dash. The other gods require secondary boons to get a curse or your attack/special needs to give the curse, you won't really ever be using your attack and your special is reserved for Poseidon.
Hammers: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like I remember in Hades I if you chose a specific hammer you would be locked out of other hammer choices that affect the benefitting move. If the same applies to this game avoid picking a hammer that affects your special for your first hammer if it is not double moonshot, and hope for it on your second hammer. The DPS from Momus staff is still great with spamming special without it (I won my run without it). You could also go ahead and pick up rapid moonfire or shimmering moonshot on your first one because they are pretty powerful too, and I also may be wrong about the hammer exclusion thing.
Keepsakes: So of course Poseidon first, always. Hestia second if you don't get her in your god pool Erebus. Up to you and what you like for Oceanus, maybe choose Demeter or Aphrodite. If I got Hestia I would generally use any one of the following:

• Engraved pin
• Gold Purse
• White Antler
• Crystal Figurine
• Silken Sash
• Aromatic Phial (be sure to pick it up before using the fountain)
• Experimental Hammer
• Transcendent Embryo

Once in the mourning fields I would typically go with the Lion Fang, or possibly one of the above maybe. Lastly in Tartarus I would either use Knuckle Bones (if I felt comfortable with my health and death defiances), Luckier Tooth, or Evil Eye (if Chronos killed me last).
Sidenote: Is Echo bugged? Or is my game just messed up? I was never given the chance to give her a gift so I've never gotten her keepsake :(
Familiar Toula: Sorry Frinos, but Toula is just superior. She gives you an extra death defiance which when upgraded fully gives you 40 health on death. Also upgrading her attack lets her attack more times before she takes a little catnap (cute). She does 99 damage with each strike which is not insignificant. You don't need to go out of your way to sprint over her whenever she is resting to activate her, if she happens to be where you are running it is just some nice extra little bit of DPS. She has actually killed a few bosses for me in my runs lol.

The Winning Run

So all of this information is from finally beating 32 fear. I followed this strategy in my head for the most part. I ended up not getting double moonshot, but did get rapid moonfire. Poseidon offered me both prereqs for his legendary in the same choice without any rerolls left unfortunately, chose slip of course. I did get the duo boon and both of Hestia's cast boons which was nuts. Also I got rare crop right after I got Poseidon's special so it became heroic by the end. I also got offered to sacrifice rare crop after it became heroic by hestia to get more health, and I was then offered it again at epic rarity which increased 3 other of my boons which happened to hit Hestia's cast boons. I did not get any other way to apply another curse other than slip unfortunately as well. Started Tartarus with 2 or 3 death defiances + luckier tooth and beat Chronos on my last life. Overall though, not a perfect run but it still worked. Would have been even more nuts if I got the right hammer, legendary, and another curse effect

TL;DR

Momus Staff good. More special projectiles hammer + Poseidon special + legendary + Poseidon/Hestia duo = nuts DPS. Arcana cards important, vows are tough.

Others have already posted about the increased difficulty of space combat missions and how BH levels that were easily soloable before now require a group.
I've noticed this also seems to be the case with random NineTails encounters throughout Stanton. I've been attacked twice now on two different non-combat missions (Initial Delivery Evaluation & Find Missing Person) by a pack of 2 Cutty Blacks + 1 Vanguard (or a similar fighter), both of which I barely was able to make it out alive from (the first one I just noped out of, the second I dropped into SCM Mode & landed at the derelict ASAP so I could at least walk away with my gear and get the aUEC for completing the mission). Both attacked close to the mission location and I didn't even get the Contact warning until I was already close to within their missile range, and when I tried to fight them, even in SCM Mode they ripped through my shields almost instantly.
Random NPC pirate attacks have always been a thing, but in past patches outside of BH & other space combat missions they were pretty infrequent and generally just one or two in small ships like the Aurora LN that didn't pose much of a threat at all & were easy to take out.
I'm wondering if maybe this is part of gearing up for Pyro, i.e, CIG decided to crank up the encounter rates & difficulty of encounters as a way of testing out a more dangerous star system without actually needing the system in-game/server meshing.
Has anyone else experienced this?

I was so upset when I realized I couldn’t put the greenhouse on Eternity Isle. I have a garden set-up in the area next to the house and my orchard in the ruins above. Ever since I learned what Beast’s level 10 quest was, I had mapped out space in my Isle garden for it.
Only for the game to not let me place it 😭😭 I ended up squeezing it next to Wall-E’s garden in my orchard in the Valley so now I have to figure out what I’m gonna do with my garden on the Isle

Hey folks -
I know I said I was done posting FV content, but as much as I was intending to step away, theorizing about stuff helps order my mind so I am back to posting. My retirement lasted all of a week 😂😂
I want to explore some of the concepts and inspirations of the Fractalverse from Marathon.
For those who don't know, Marathon is a video game series from Bungie (yes, that Bungie)... The series is often regarded as a spiritual predecessor of Bungie's Halo series.
Significantly for us, it is one of Chris' favorite games of all time, and a lot of the content from Marathon is used as inspiration in the Eragon/Fractalverse series.
https://twitter.com/paolini/status/1661742366028623874
Man, I hope the new #Marathon game is good. The original three were a huge, huge influence on me. Some of the best sci-fi writing out there.
One

If it's a game that doesn't use a mouse, like the old Marathon games, then I use 8426 (with 7 &9 for strafing) for movement and left-hand keys like space, command, option, etc. for shooting, swapping weapons, activating, etc.

Two

Hey, big Marathon fan, which is how I found your work. Been listening to your Leela cover a lot while writing.

Three

Marathon series, Halo, Mass Effect, and the Myst series (although those might be counted as fantasy).

Four

Myst (and sequels), the Marathon trilogy, Escape Velocity, Mass Effect 1-3, Halo 1-4, Skyrim, Oblivion, Portal 1&2, and more.

Five

Since no one guessed it, the sketch I posted earlier was from the end-screen of Marathon Infinity, last game in an awesome trilogy.

Six

@TheDragonUniver Ha! I beat the Vidmaster challenges in the old Marathon games, in the Total Carnage setting no less!

Seven!

@ndemordaunt Awesome. Glad to hear it. I've been playing Halo since it was called Marathon. 🙂 Hope you enjoy my future books!

Alright, I think I've proven my point. Let's get started.
First things first, let's talk about the Jjaro:

The Jjaro were an extremely advanced species--or an extremely advanced individual--which vanished from the Milky Way galaxy... The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht, as well as a star-destroying weapon known as the trih xeem, the ability to move entire planets by warping space around them as was used by the S'pht'Kr, some sort of time manipulation technology, and various ways of dealing with the W'rkncacnter

Sound familiar? Let's take it line by line with a few tangents along the way.

The Jjaro were an extremely advanced species--or an extremely advanced individual--which vanished from the Milky Way galaxy...

Hmm. Extremely advanced species. Who mysteriously Vanished. Check.

The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht

We'll get into this a bit later, but there is evidence that the Old Ones created/manipulated the Wraunai. Specifically from the Terminology section:

WRANAUI: sentient, space-faring race originating from the planet Pelagius... Some evidence indicates they may have been genetically modified by the Old Ones at some point in their distant past (Appendix III, TSIASOS).

Not a perfect fit, but lines up well enough. This next bit is extremely curious though -

The Jjaro possessed high-quality cyborg technology, such as that used to create the S'pht, as well as a star-destroying weapon known as the trih xeem

A star-destroying weapon. We haven't seen anything like that before... Or have we?
I've speculated on this in one of my previous posts; I think the "star-destroying weapon" is the black ball in this picture, which was some early concept art for TSIASOS.
You see the Black Ball heading for the sun? Check this out -
Compare it to the picture of the Trih Xeem.
Black ball with a trailing cloud, heading right for the sun? It's a perfect match with the concept art.
This is also significant for the World of Eragon, because:
MURTAGH SPOILERS BELOW
The visions from Azlagur all have him "rise" from the ground to "eat the sun"
Which is SUPER significant, because of the implications of the Marathon Infinity backstory:

In Marathon Infinity, a W'rkncacnter is imprisoned in the sun of planet Lh'owon. It is theorized by some that the W'rkncacnter's powerfully chaotic nature may be responsible for the jumps between realities seen in the game. When the Pfhor use a trih xeem device to send the star into early nova, the creature is released, to the horror and destruction of the Pfhor.

We will touch back on the reality jumping in a bit, but for now I want to focus on the "sun imprisonment" theme.
A cosmic-level baddie imprisoned in the sun. THAT is the endgame for Azlagur. Either he is a planetary-level villain, who will "rise" due to the Trih Xeem and Eat the Sun, releasing the equivalent W'rkncacnter, or he IS the equivalent W'rkncacnter, and will rise when the Trih Xeem is released. It all fits in with the concept art above.
And from this, we can deduce the overarching concepts of Angela's storyline.

Q: Will we get Angela lore? I feel like she could have killed Galbatorix and just didn't feel like it.
A: For those who don't know Angela is based on my sister Angela, because she breaks the fourth wall to a degree she has. Not only does she have plot armor, she knows she's in a story and can break the story itself. So, yes, she could have killed Galbatorix, but that would have made for a very bad story. That said, I do have an entire book planned around Angela, and it's very high on my list of books to write because it takes place before some of these other big stories I want to write. And that's also the difficult thing. I have my big storylines, and then I have a couple of one off side books I want to write, and it's just a question of time, energy and effort.

Given her appearance in TSIASOS, we can interpret that Angela is a "cosmic"-level character, who can cross time and space.
So... what's actually going on behind the scenes? We know she's been in/around Nal Gorgoth, and Tronjheim. She's definitely affiliated with the Draumar, and Tenga in some fashion. So... what's the actual story going on?
Let's take a look at the story of Marathon infinity:

Marathon Infinity begins as the Pfhor destroy Lh'owon using a Jjaro-derived doomsday weapon known as the Trih Xeem or "early nova". Unfortunately, the weapon also releases a powerful chaotic being: The W’rkncacnter, which threatens to destroy the entire galaxy. Because of the W’rkncacnter's chaos or by means of some Jjaro tech of his own, the player is transported back and forward in time, finding himself jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides in a desperate attempt to prevent the chaotic being's release.

So the weapon releases a powerful cosmic-level entity, which threatens to destroy the galaxy. And as a result, the "player" jumps around in time, jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides to prevent the being's release.
Sound familiar?
Jumping around in time and between timelines - that's what she's doing with the portals, the non-standard torque gates.
There are a ton of parallels with Angela and time (such as the references to her being a time lord), so for lack of better information, the most informed guess we can make is that she is trying to prevent the rise of Azlagur himself, or the creature freed by the death of the sun from Az "eating" the sun.
For lack of a better answer, Angela IS the player character from Marathon Infinity.
Alrighty, I could make several posts about the above, but for the sake of space and time, let's get back to the original passage.

the ability to move entire planets by warping space around them

Move planets by warping the space around them eh? That sounds familiar:

Then she was soaring through a nebula, and for a moment, she beheld a patch of twisted space. She could see it was twisted by the way it warped the surrounding gas. And from the patch, she felt a warped sensation, a feeling of utter wrongness, and it terrified her, for she knew its meaning. Chaos. Evil. Hunger.

Warping space around a planet. And Chaos... Sure sounds like the W’rkncacnter.
The last piece here also parallels with what we know about the series:

some sort of time manipulation technology,

Time manipulation - We know, based on various clues left throughout the series, that the Old Ones had the ability to manipulate time. Chris indicates as much here:

Right now no matter what way you swing it, we have issues in terms of time.

Correct.

Moving along, let's keep pulling the Jjaro thread together. The paragraph on Technology reads:

Jjaro technology is incredibly advanced and they have made many discoveries about the secrets of the universe. One of their ships, the Manus Celer Dei, was able to survive the closure of the universe, they uplifted the S'pht, defeated the W'rkncacnter, had mastered time control, had a station capable of compressing the mass and energy of a supernova into a black hole millennia beyond reckoning after it was decommissioned and abandoned, and a few of their artefacts were able to create a cyborg who could also survive the closure of the universe and escape it all together.

A station capable of compressing the mass and energy of a supernova into a black hole. And then it was decommissioned and abandoned.
Sound familiar, anyone?
The Great Beacons. That's what they are. The energy of a supernova in the form of a black hole, which were then decommissioned and abandoned.
We know the Great Beacons are no longer functioning. And it sure sounds like the description of a black hole (both in spacetime format, as a "whirlpool", and also visually)

and a few of their artefacts were able to create a cyborg who could also survive the closure of the universe and escape it all together.

Seeker? I'm not sure, but it sure has a lot of durability.
Alright, we're getting up there in word-count so I want to cut this short.
The last piece I want to talk about here are the parallels betwen the Wranaui and S'pht. It's not a perfect match, but there are a lot of overlaps between the two races.
First, the Wranaui:

WRANAUI: sentient, space-faring race originating from the planet Pelagius. Highly complex life cycle, with an equally complicated, hierarchical social structure dominated by Arms and a ruling form. Wranaui are naturally an ocean-based species, but through extensive use of artificial bodies, have adapted themselves to nearly every possible environment. Aggressive and expansionist, they have little regard for individual rights or safety, given their reliance on replacement bodies. Their scent-based language is exceedingly difficult for humans to translate. Even without technological augmentation, Wranaui are biologically immortal; their genetic-base bodies are always able to revert to an immature form in order to renew their flesh and stave off senescence. Some evidence indicates they may have been genetically modified by the Old Ones at some point in their distant past.

So, to summarize:

• Grew up in water
  
• Advanced scientifically due to the discovery of Vanished technology
  
• Complex hierarchical social structures.
  
• Forms & Use of artificial bodies.
  
• Genetically modified by the Vanished/Old Ones.
  

Let's compare that with the S'phet:

The S'pht were brought to Lh'owon by the Jjarro and Pthia as servants. The S'pht terraformed the planet from a barren desert into "marsh and sea, rivers and forests." When the Jjaro left Lh'owon after the death of "Pthia," the S'pht were released from their servitude, split into eleven clans, and leadership of the race was given to the S'pht royals.[6]

Genetically modified. Check.

The Pfhor forced them out of their typical forms, (as seen used by the S'pht'Kr) and into the strange garb of the Compilers and the armor of the Cyborgs.

Usage of "Forms". Check

After Pthia's death, Yrro scattered the S'pht across Lh'owon, separated them into eleven clans

Hierarchical society with different clans (Arms). Check.
The main two differences here are the usage of smell as a language, and the grew up in water.
Other than that, there are a TON of parallels.
Well, we're getting up there in word count and I've just started to ponder and fully understand the connections between the two series.
A few other random connections I noticed (I will add as time goes on):
Nmarhl and Narhl)
L'phet and S'pht
Alright, we are getting up there in word count, so I think that's it from me now. There are a lot more Eragon-specific relationships I've left out of here; I'll cover these in another post over on that subreddit.
Curious to see if anyone else has found other connections - Let me know what you think in the comments!

Hey everyone, I just recently reinstalled and I feel pretty lost on various parts of the game, so I'm hoping you guys might be able to help answer some of my questions/guide me in the right direction. Just a bit of backstory for where my account is at currently before getting into some of my questions:

• Played when the game launched in the US and created a Deathblade character. Got this Deathblade to level 39, then "quit" due to irl stuff limiting my time to play.
• Reinstalled around the time Artist came out and created a new Artist character. Got this Artist to around the same level as my Deathblade before "quitting" again due to irl stuff limiting my time to play.
• Reinstalled once again a few days ago and I just got my Artist to level 50; my Deathblade is still sitting at level 39.

As you can see, although I'm a "returning" player, I never made it very far into the game, so many of the core concepts are still quite foreign to me. Also, I am strictly F2P, so please do take that into consideration for your responses. Thanks in advance :)
Since I have a bunch of questions across various parts of the game, I've broken them into hopefully more legible sections:

Story/Location/General

• I have made it to Arthetine with my Artist, what do I do now at level 50? Do I just keep continuing to do all the quests that appear around me? When do the various dungeons and fights I've seen so much about start for me?
• I didn't explore all of Anikka before coming to Arthetine (there is still a gray area on the map, Prisma Valley). Should I go back and unlock triports and whatnot before continuing? The quests themselves never took me there, so just not sure.
• Should I catch my Deathblade up to where my Artist is at before continuing to progress? I actually really like the combat of both characters and I'm not too sure which I want to "main" as a result. Do I need to pick 1 to main? Will it really gimp my ability to do content if I try to progress both characters as much as possible?
• Is PvP dead? I remember liking that a lot when I first started out, but recently when I've tried to queue up, matches couldn't be found. Not that there was an error or anything, just the timer would continue going for a long time.
• Does a character's level go beyond 50?

Gear

• General
  • Does gear degrade?
• Dismantling
  • As I've been leveling up, I would equip the highest item level gear in each slot and dismantle everything else, including gear at the same item level I have equipped. Should I continue doing this? It has left me with 1 of each item I have equipped - will I ever need say multiple weapons or armor pieces to swap out depending on the content I'm doing? It has also left me with a lot of useful and broken gear powders. What do I do with these?
• Stones
  • I have a bunch of stones in both my characters' inventories. What are these and what do I do with all these? Somehow, I also have an ability stone equipped on my Deathblade in addition to the other stones in my inventory, but I don't remember how or why I did that. The equipped one also seems to make my Deathblade's movement slower, what gives? Do they all give some sort of negative effect? Should I also try to equip a stone on my Artist? Is there a strategy for maximizing positive effects while reducing negative effects?
• Engravings
  • I have a bunch of engraving recipes and engraving recipe selection chests/pouches. What are these and what do I do with all these? I'm assuming they combine in some way to create the 2 empty engraving item slots when opening my character profile, but just wanted someone to hopefully walk me through these as well. Do these also have negative effects like stones? If so, is there a strategy for maximizing positive effects while reducing negative effects?
• Skill Rune Effects
  • I have some items like "Focus" and "Bleed" that I've got no clue what they do or what I should be doing with them. Is this another system that could/should be walked through for me?
• Bracelet
  • I don't have items/packs/chests or anything that seemingly would fit into the Bracelet item slot for either character. Where do bracelets come from? Is this another system that could/should be walked through for me?
• Honing/Upgrading
  • I have heard these terms thrown around before, but again, I just don't know what they entail. Am I at this point in the game yet?
• Item Level
  • My Artist's equipped item level is 230.83 and my Deathblade's is 182.50. I've seen people talking about item levels more than 1k greater than even what I've got combined between both characters lol. Am I on the right track here? Should I expect my equipped item level to shoot up soon?

Cards

• I get that equipping multiple cards of the same set grants different effects, but how does it work across the roster - can I equip the exact same cards on both my Deathblade and my Artist?
• When I use cards, it asks me to confirm and says I have x spots remaining in my card catalog, where x continually decrements each time. Is this something I should be worried about? Do I need to be strategic about which cards to add to the catalog as to optimize the amount of space it has available?
  • If not, I have some card packs, should I just use/consume those ASAP?
• Are book effects separate and in addition to effects granted from equipping cards of the same set?
• What are/how to do enhancements?

Stronghold/resource gathering

• I've seen various ores, wood, and other items to gather across the world as I've been leveling up - am I meant to be gathering these? I think it was a requirement for 1 of the earlier quests, but it's been so long I don't remember the point of it, and I don't think I've gathered anything outside of those quest(s). What is the point of gathering these resources?
• I don't get the Stronghold at all. I had to create/visit one with my Deathblade way back when, but I really don't recall what it's all about, what to do, etc. I don't believe I was required to create/visit one when I created my Artist. Is it shared across the roster? What is the point?

Chests/Auras/PowerPass

• I have a lot of different chests and whatnot in both characters' inventories, the universal storage, my mailbox, and wherever else things are sent to lol I don't even know. I have a wide variety of different things (rapport chests, battle item chests, card packs, etc.). In general, what is the strategy for these, what should I be using/consuming right away, what should I be saving?
• There are some other chests and items that I don't even know what they give me. I remember Crystalline Aura and Elgacia PowerPass off the top of my head, but when I can next login, I will be sure to edit this to ask what the others do as well.
  • As far as I'm aware, Elgacia PowerPass is the only thing I have with a time limit left to claim it. What does this do? What character should I claim it on, if any?

Am I missing anything else? I'm sure I will have more questions as well; these are really the biggest things that have been on my mind. If anything else does come up, I will be sure to edit this to clearly include those changes as well.
I know this is a lot already, thanks in advance for any help/guidance, I do very much appreciate it!

The garage door shut with a groan behind us, closing us in the gloom of the single bulb hanging over the car.
Mother took a drag off her cigarette and sighed as she exhaled, the smoke filled the cabin of the Ford and stung my eyes.
“You really disappointed me today, Julianne," she tapped her cigarette in the ashtray below the dash, "you embarrassed me in front of the other mothers at the Ice Cream Social, shoveling down seconds and thirds like a pig. I thought I raised you better than that.”
She took another drag, daintily holding the cigarette between her perfectly manicured fingers.
“I'm going to have to tell your brother about this," she continued, “he'll have to come up with a punishment fit for a pig."
I felt my stomach drop. My kid brother, Thomas, was only six, but could be exceptionally cruel. Mother seemed to encourage him and was deferring to him more and more frequently for how the house was run, especially concerning my upbringing.
"Mother, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm sorry I was a pig and ate so much ice cream. I promise I won't do it again, I'll never eat any ice cream again," I was pleading with stone, unyielding.
“Hush your mouth. Go to your room and wait for Thomas," she put out the cigarette and got out of the car, I had no choice but to follow.
It felt like walking to the gallows as I stepped inside the house and headed towards the stairs to go to my room. Thomas had grown fond recently of physical punishment, he obviously delighted in Mother whipping me with a belt or, recently, Mother had allowed him to start beating me with a wooden spoon. He would squeal and giggle like a normal child watching bubbles in the wind while I screamed. I was dreading whatever was going to happen tonight, I chastised myself for eating that ice cream, I should have known she would show up. My sins were always laid bare.
Down the hall, I could hear Thomas watching television in the den. I only got to watch TV for half an hour on Saturday morning and new episodes of Happy Days with Mother and Thomas. Thomas got to watch all the TV he wanted. He could listen to the radio and turntable as much as he wanted, as loud as he wanted. Thomas had an entire room just for his toys.
I entered my bedroom, it was a space I occupied, but it didn't feel like mine. Mother kept it spartan, white walls and white bedspread. A crucifix over the bed and a painting of Jesus over the door. I had my desk and chair and a dresser with some of the porcelain dolls Daddy gave me before he died that Mother let me keep. That was it.
I placed my book bag down and sat on my bed, waiting for Thomas. It was a while, sitting there with nothing but my own thoughts and staring at the open door. I felt humiliated, I was almost thirteen and my entire life was dictated by my brother. Mother kept the house in constant lockdown to keep Thomas a secret. No outsiders were allowed in. I couldn't have friends because she was afraid I would mention him or sneak a friend in to gawk at my brother and tease him for being different.
I would never make fun of him, I was terrified of him. Terrified of what he was and what he was becoming.
Eventually I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and I felt my heart start beating faster and my palms began to sweat. I kneaded my skirt in my hands, trying to calm myself and dry my palms. His slow arrhythmic footsteps came down the hall and I watched him as he entered the room.
I couldn't help but internally recoil at his appearance, even though I'd known him since he was born, I could never adjust to how unnatural he appeared. Thomas had been born at home and had never seen a doctor, but he was obviously unwell.
He was six years old and was barely over two feet tall, but very squat and wide. His skin was thick and gray, the whites of his beady eyes were yellow and his hair was wispy and white like an old man's, spreading out like a halo around his gargoyle face. A slight odor of decomposition hung about him, it reminded me faintly of garbage cans on a hot summer day. I hated when Mother made me help him with a bath, his skin felt like old brittle leather that flaked onto my clothes in gray flecks. His body was dense like concrete, I could barely lift him into the tub. Picking him up forced his hair into my face where that smell of rot would fill my nose, causing me to gag, silently, so as not to offend him and draw any ire from him or Mother.
Today, Thomas was wearing bib overalls with a red and green striped sweater underneath, reminding me of a grotesque doll.
“Mama says you acted like a piggy today at the ice cream social,” he spoke up to me in his unsettlingly high pitched, yet raspy voice, like a child that smoked as much as Mother, "you need to come down for dinner right now for your punishment for embarrassing Mama."
He turned and walked back down the stairs and I had no choice but to follow his toddling form downstairs to the dining table. We entered the kitchen and the table was placed with two settings. Mother was already seated and Thomas clambered up into his booster seat at his normal spot next to Mother. She took a drag off her cigarette and motioned vaguely to the floor without even looking at me.
Neatly situated on the linoleum was my dinner, not on a plate, but directly on the floor. A pork chop, scoop of mashed potatoes, and a small pile of peas. No utensils, either.
Thomas giggled with glee upon seeing my face.
“You have Mama's permission now to eat like a piggy, now. No hands! Piggies just use their face!” He stood up in his chair and reached out for Mother’s ash tray and flung it out over my meal, peppering my dinner with cigarette ash and butts.
"Oops! Piggies don't mind trash though, do they, Mama?” he giggled and the sound filled me with rage.
"No, they don't,” Mother replied coolly while maneuvering her ashtray back in place and carefully putting out her cigarette before saying prayer.
As angry as I was, I got down on my hands and knees and did my best at eating what I could without using my hands. I knew if I refused, it would be far worse. The whole meal, Thomas made pig noises and would reach down and poke me with his fork, making comments about what a fat piggy I was and how he wished he could roast and eat me. I doubted Mother would even object if he actually did kill me and eat me.
Gagging my way through another bite of ashy pork chop, I felt a warm splat over my head and heard Thomas giggling. I reached up and felt he had dumped mashed potatoes into my hair.
Choking down tears, I asked Mother if I could clean the floor and bathe. She rolled her eyes and excused me to clear the table for them as well while she changed Thomas into his pajamas. Picking him up, she walked out of the room and Thomas stuck his putrid little purple tongue out at me before they made it out the kitchen door.
I silently cried while I cleared the table and washed the dinner dishes. Tears splashed down as I mopped up the mess from my food on the floor. I hated how awful Thomas was. I hated how they treated me. Ever since Daddy died and Thomas showed up, I was their punching bag. I missed Daddy so much.
Mother was kinder then, too. She was still severe, but Dad kept her tempered. After he died, there was a change that came over her. I was only six, so I didn't remember her too much from before, but I did remember her gushing on and on when she was pregnant with Thomas. How the baby was a gift from Our Heavenly Father, that it was going to complete our broken family.
My sixth birthday happened right after Daddy died and I remember sitting on the patio crying while the house was full of people after the funeral, normally he would have gotten me a new doll and a chocolate bar, instead I was forgotten. No doll. No chocolate. Just funeral potatoes and a house full of cigarette smoke from the adults.
Nobody remembered. The closest thing I got was my dad's sister, Aunt Judy, sitting next to me on the patio step for a few minutes of comfortable silence before giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I don't think she knew her brother was memorialized on my birthday. Next year, Thomas was born the day before my birthday, so it was completely eclipsed as Mother had just birthed her new love into the world…
I stopped mid mop as a lightbulb finally went off. I had never put much thought into the dates before.
Thomas was born a full year after Daddy died. He couldn't be his dad. Who was Thomas’ actual father?
Washing mashed potatoes out of my hair that evening, I ran over and over the timeline. No matter how I parsed it out, Thomas was only my half brother. Going to bed that night, I kept myself awake, going over and over again to make sure. I couldn't remember any men being around at that time, but that didn't mean much. Adults can easily hide things from children. Tension began throbbing through my head and I felt queasy. Mother had always known all of my secrets, able to sniff them out like a bloodhound out or using Thomas to spy. Now I had one of Mother's secrets and I didn't know what to do with it.
First I wanted to confirm it, but it would mean snooping, which was difficult in a house that was rarely left empty. I would have to try finding Mother's calendar book or journal to see if she mentioned any dates or men.
But when could I attempt such a daring maneuver? Thomas hardly left the house. As proud as Mother was of him, she was very cognizant and protective of his differences and didn't want to draw attention to herself or Thomas like that. Mother herself had few social engagements throughout the week and mostly stayed home to watch her golden child.
I finally decided I would take the risk and fake sick on Tuesday, grocery day, so I could stay home from school while she went shopping. All Thomas did all day was watch TV downstairs, so that should give me about an hour to look through her room for clues. I decided to tuck my head down, try to behave as best as I could to avoid their wrath, and wait for Tuesday.
That weekend limped along agonizingly slow. Thomas was in a fine mood and was constantly seeking out a reason to poke me, punch me, slap me… he'd laugh while calling me a piggy with his off-putting wide mouth. I tried to mostly stay in my room and it seemed like neither of them cared.
School on Monday was a relief, but my anxiety ramped up. The consequences would be dire if Mother caught on that I was faking sick to stay home. I didn't even want to imagine how off the leash she'd let my half-brother become in his punishment for that level of insubordination.
I stayed up all night, my stomach was in knots, but I was committed to my plan. Throughout the night, I screamed as hard as I could into my pillow. Screamed until my throat was raw and I could barely talk. It felt cathartic in a way. When it was close to school time, I put on my heaviest flannel pajamas and began doing jumping jacks until my face was flushed and my scalp was soaked with sweat.
Looking in the bathroom mirror before heading down to talk to Mother, I thought I looked pretty convincing, my skin was flushed and sweaty, my eyes had circles under them from lack of sleep, and my voice croaked like a frog.
Heading downstairs, Mother was already feeding Thomas breakfast. I hesitantly stepped into the kitchen and stood there awkwardly for a second, pawing with my pajamas to keep my nerves steady until she noticed my presence and looked up.
“Why aren't you dressed, Julianne?"
"I don't feel well. My throat hurts and my tummy hurts.” My voice graveled out more than I was expecting, I really had hurt my throat.
She strode over to me and placed a cool hand on my sweaty brow.
"You do feel warm. Take an aspirin from the medicine cabinet and go lay back down. I'll check on you later," with that she turned back and walked over to Thomas, who was frozen in place, glaring at me over a forkful of scrambled eggs. The sharp glint of malice in his beady eyes made me shiver before I shuffled out of the kitchen.
I laid in bed, trying my best to look miserable until I eventually heard the faint sound of the television playing in the den as Thomas settled in for his normal daytime routine and the garage door opened as Mother headed to the grocery store. I bounded out of bed and watched the car back out of our driveway and head up the street.
My heart began to pound as I tiptoed down the hall to Mother's bedroom, a place I rarely even caught a glimpse of, let alone entered. I very slowly opened the door, taking great care to not make any noise to alert Thomas downstairs that I was out of bed.
Creeping into the butter yellow room, I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my skull, this was the naughtiest thing I had ever done by far. I stepped onto the rug to help disguise my footsteps and slowly made my way past the brass bed and towards her desk. My hands shook as I opened the top drawer, I pawed through rapidly and found nothing. I checked the next drawer down and again found nothing of interest, just stationary and envelopes.
Finally, the bottom drawer was what I was looking for, a stack of journals from the past decade. I flipped through, trying to find entries relevant to when Daddy died and who Mother slept with afterwards.
I've never fully recovered from what I read.
July 6, 1968
Edgar died today. Car accident. I cannot believe this is real. My light, my life, my anchor... Dr. Benson gave me a sedative at the hospital and I feel so tired. So very, very tired. Why has my Lord forsaken me so?
July 9, 1968
I feel like I am in a very bad dream, I feel numb and disconnected. All the consolation and pity from everyone makes me feel sick. After the memorial, it took everything in me to not break dishes and to scream at everyone to get out of my house. Julianne was moping about crying and I wanted to throw her out, too.
If I hadn't seen my dear Edgar's body in the hospital and held his urn in my own hands, I wouldn't believe he was really gone. I still don't entirely believe it.
I have prayed to God every night asking him to show me why he took my husband from me and I have gotten no answer.
I skimmed over the next few months, as it was more or less similar sentiments repeated night after night. I finally got to an entry that caught my eye.
September 17, 1968
My battle with my faith has been fraught the past few months, but Hallelujah! I feel I can see the Lord again in all his glory and might, for he has given me a way to reconnect to my Edgar!
I was thinking about the night Julianne was born, right in this very home, it was a difficult birth and she struggled to breathe at first. Ingrid, my midwife, made a comment to me that if the baby had failed to wake up on her own, that Ingrid had ways to make sure she would have made it.
I remember asking if it was a medical methodology and she made it clear to me that in certain circumstances, it was a mystical property she used to bring the air of life into a struggling baby's lungs. She gently alluded to being a practicing member of the dark arts. At the time, I felt quite scandalized to have someone like that in my God fearing home. Now I see her as the answer to my prayers! My angel!
On a whim, I called her and asked if she still practiced such techniques. She hesitantly confirmed that she did. I asked, if she could turn breath into the lungs of a child without, could she turn breath into a child that did not exist? Could she magick into existence another child of my beloved Edgar? She told me she had to do some research and she'd be back in touch.
Ingrid just called back after a few hours and said there was a spell she found, but it was dangerous and might have unpleasant results. I said, yes, of course! I trust my Lord and I believe he sent this woman of blessed magick to me for this purpose.
She says we will have to do it soon, in a few days during the new moon. She has a potion to brew, but it is happening! Praise God!
September 23, 1968
The ceremony was last night, and Ingrid believes it was a success, but we will have to wait. It did not take long, only an hour or two. Ingrid lit my bedroom with many beeswax candles and she had me drink a thick and bitter tea that caused me to become quite relaxed and foggy.
From my inner thigh, she cut me and collected my blood in a chalice, with which she mixed quite a lot of Edgar's ashes and other ingredients which I could not glean from my supine position and groggy wits. Ingrid began to chant, calling upon a higher power, as I pleaded with my Lord to let this work. To give me any piece of my Edgar back. She came to the bed and worked the paste between my legs into my womanly chamber, which was very uncomfortable, but manageable with the numbing effects of the tea.
She continued to sit with me and chant, her hand placed over my womb, until she decided at which time it was complete. She left and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt quite uncomfortable, my body ached and when I used the restroom, a yellow fluid like pus poured out of me, but no sign of any ashes or blood, which gives me hope it was absorbed into my womb.
November 3, 1968
Praise be to our Lord, Ingrid just confirmed for me that I am with child, I had been hoping so, I had not gotten my cycle in October, but I wasn't sure if that was because of the discharge like pus that was still coming. She told me that was common with this spell and a side effect that would stop after the baby came.
I feel like I am floating on air, for the first time since Edgar left, I feel-
I suddenly became very aware of the feeling of eyes on the back of my head. I had become too engrossed in what was written before me and I had lost track of my surroundings. Very slowly, I turned around and my heart began pounding again as I saw Thomas standing in the doorway holding his wooden spoon in one hand. How had I not heard him?
He pointed at me with his empty hand and screamed, just a pure guttural screech from somewhere deep inside his disgusting little body. He charged at me from across the room, his horrible feet thumping solidly along the rug. He began beating my legs ruthlessly with the spoon, causing my legs to buckle. I crashed down to my knees in front of him, and he began lashing at my face, pulling my hair with one hand while wailing away at my head with the spoon.
I had dropped the journal I was holding and was desperately trying to get a hand on the spoon or push him away. All I could hear was him screaming. My arms flailed and I reached around on Mother's desk and grabbed onto the first thing I found and sank it into Thomas’ neck.
The end of Mother's gold letter opener protruded under his jaw. He went silent and he looked at me with utter shock. He dropped the spoon and collapsed on the ground, clutching at his neck as his thick black blood oozed out from his wound, letting out a stupendous odor of rot that filled the room. He didn't really say anything or make any noise. He just twitched for a moment and I saw his eyes glaze over.
In shock, I stood over his little body for a moment and I watched as he seemed to mummify in just a few minutes, like an ash person from Pompeii dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Even his blood that looked like shiny oil a second ago became like potting soil on Mother's rug. Reaching out to touch his hand, it crumbled away like sand.
Panic ran through me like a rabbit caught in a snare. Not knowing what to do, I ran. I ran down the hall, changed my clothes, put an extra change of clothes in my backpack and the last doll Daddy had ever given me and I ran. Mother would absolutely never forgive me and I was genuinely afraid she would kill me in retaliation for taking her beloved Thomas away from her. Her precious gift from God. My feet flew over the pavement and took me away from that house.
I called my Aunt Judy from a payphone outside the five & dime, and told her Mother had kicked me out and asked if I could stay with her. She had always had a strained relationship with my mother and it didn't take much convincing that she had kicked out her “only” child. Only Mother, Ingrid, and I ever knew about Thomas.
She gave me a home and took care of me. She never beat me or humiliated me. Even with her love, I was far from okay. For years I would close my eyes and hear Thomas scream, then the sudden silence. I'd see him fumbling at his neck and turning to ash. But I would also remember all the ways he would hurt me and how bad he was becoming. I could never talk to anyone about it, especially not the silent relief I felt I refused to admit to myself. Over time, however, Thomas' screams became a whisper and his silence faded into dust in my mind.
I moved on with my life. I went to college and became a photojournalist, getting to travel the world and watch history unfold. By choice, I never married, but was quite blessed with many beautiful friendships for companionship over the decades. I found balance in my life and a sense of happiness, if not peace. I never could quite stomach mashed potatoes again, though, they always taste ashy to me.
Mother never made any attempts to reach out to me or find me, at least that I'm aware of. Ten years ago, I was contacted by a hospital and they said my mother had been admitted earlier after falling and was about to pass, so she must have kept some tabs on me to know my phone number for her emergency contacts. Apparently she had collapsed in the driveway and a neighbor called an ambulance. I got there and her only words to me were, “take care of him," as she placed a locket in my hand. I opened the locket, Jesus was on one side, Thomas on the other. I didn't say anything to her, just held her frail old hand with nicotine stained nails until she passed in the night. My mother was gone and I felt nothing except a vague sense of relief.
When I got to her house, it was like a time capsule. Other than a newer television, it was just like it was when I'd fled so many years ago. The smell of tobacco smoke hung like incense in the air. It felt oppressive, like a tomb.
I wandered the house in a bit of a daze. The one place I didn't want to go was upstairs. I didn't want to see my old room, or Thomas' room, or Mother's. Putting it off, I went to fix myself some supper, realizing I hadn't eaten in almost a day. I took a pause when I opened the fridge and saw a baby bottle on a shelf. Silently praying she had been babysitting for a neighbor, I fixed myself some toast with sardines and sat eating in the den watching TV. It had been almost forty years and it still felt rebellious not eating at the table and watching TV without permission.
My eyes grew heavy and I finally mustered up the gumption to head upstairs to go to bed. The stairs creaked in a familiar way under my feet and I was taken back to the feeling of dread hearing either Mother or Thomas climbing up. My old room was at the top of the stairs, I saw the door was nailed shut and had rambling quotes about Judas copied from the Bible in my mother's handwriting taped to the door. I sighed gently and turned from the door to head down the hallway, deciding Mother's room was probably the best place to sleep.
I passed by Thomas’ toy room and I heard a murmur from the room. I stopped, curiosity got the best of me and I entered. In Thomas' old toy room was a crib with joyful clown sheets. Dread swelled up inside me as I heard more murmurs and saw the sheets move. Approaching slowly, I peaked under the sheet and gasped.
Tucked inside was what looked like a baby gargoyle, gray and papery looking. Pus leaked out of its milky, bulbous eyes. I pulled back the blanket and saw it had no legs and its arms bent back, like wings on a bird. It was wearing just a cloth diaper, overflowing with tarry looking stool that took my breath away with its pungency, it smelled like Thomas’ blood, but somehow worse. My heart broke for this poor creature, Lord only knows how many years it has been in this crib suffering from its unholy existence.
So this is who Mother had wanted me to take care of…
Not knowing what else to do, I gently scooped him up. Like Thomas, he was shockingly heavy for how small his body was. Placing him on the changing table, I cleaned him and rewrapped his bottom in a clean diaper cloth. It was difficult, he fussed tremendously, crying and flopping around as much as his flipper-like arms would allow. I tried wiping off his oozing eyes and he snapped his mouth, which I saw was full of disturbingly square yellow teeth, trying to bite me. I carried him to the kitchen and rocked him while I heated up his bottle and he became furious with me, almost barking like a dog when my hand would get near his face.
He settled a bit as he fed, but he would still sometimes suddenly spit out the bottle and attempt to bite me. I laid him back in his crib, this abomination in a clown sheet, and I walked down the hall to Mother's room letting out a long sigh.
Combing through my mother's journals in the early hours of the morning, it looked like she tried the ceremony again shortly after Thomas died, but she either lacked Ingrid’s help or didn't have enough of my father's ashes left. Something went terribly wrong. She was vaguer than she had been about Thomas’ conception, but I suspect she had used some of Thomas' remains. The resulting birth she named Isaac.
Mother's journals told a sad tale of her and Isaac's suffering. She never mentioned me, but lamented the loss of Thomas and Dad relentlessly. She was hyper protective of Isaac, as that was all she had left. If her world had been small before, it became microscopic after he entered her life, requiring nearly constant care. According to Mother, he was blind and colicky, sometimes going years at a time without sleeping through the night. She had breast fed him for years, but she had to stop after he grew teeth and began biting her intentionally and feeding on her blood.
I spent a lot of time over the next few days pondering what to do. I had to get her estate in order, she had left me the house, in an obvious attempt to get me to continue caretaking for Isaac, but I didn't want it. I had my own cozy home an hour away from here, filled with happy memories and my possessions acquired traveling the world. Mother's home had a heavy energy I couldn't shake. Her and Thomas were both gone, but the memories of the scoldings and beatings hung in every corner, like cobwebs that would never sweep away.
So, I fed Isaac and kept him clean and tried to keep him company, although he seemed to hate me passionately. I took care of him, all the while thinking about what I was going to do. After a week, I felt resolute in what had to be done.
Gathering up all of Mother's journals in a tote, I made my way to Isaac and picked him up and carried everything to the living room.
The ancient logs in the fireplace meant for display ignited instantly. One by one, I fed the journals into the fire, burning away years of my mother's consuming sorrow. Isaac fussed and moaned next to me the entire time. When the last pages shimmered away into lacy ash, I took a throw pillow off the couch and gently cradled Isaac in my other arm. It didn't take long before he stopped struggling and I felt his little body relax after decades of suffering.
I gently wrapped up a bundle in a clown sheet and placed it in the fire. It burned furiously, like the paper in my mother's journals, and was soon gone. Nothing but ashes and embers.
“Don't worry, Mother,” I said purely for my own sake, "I took care of Isaac for you."
And finally, I felt at peace.

Huge shout out to & for helping with Brainstorming and Co-Writing this.
As always, all credits for the original Nature of Predators and it's content goes to Space Paladin15, thank him for allowing artist and writers to use his original work of art for their own uses.
Gaian Ref Sheet-Here, Done by the artist
As well as a *Huge* thank you for Julian Skys for filling in for the editor for this chapter. I'll post a comment as to why I haven't been posting too much, safe to say though, kept ya waiting huh?
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[Subject Memory Transcription: Rux Limpbut, Venlil News Anchor and TV Show Host]
Date [Standardized Galactic(?) Time]:August 1st, 2136
Now I'm regretting not taking that transfer last week. This just keeps getting better.
I was in my car outside of the Network’s station. I was at my wits end yesterday and was trying my damnedest *not* to freak out on air. Now? Now I had the pleasure of my network telling me they needed me to come in way early to report on some breaking news. Just as I was about to leave for Solgaliks sake!
I took a small sip of the “coffee”. Now this was a blessing, coffeehouses on Gaia were open paw around, no matter what. I was giving a small prayer to those “ancestors” for their love of anything strong. Well, anything strong that wasn't alcohol. They could stomach one drink or two but after that? They were out.
Slurrrrrp
I let out a relieved sigh as the warm liquid flowed down my maw, the reward of caffeine soon following after this. Hopefully in time for the recording. With that I opened the door, grabbing my briefcase as I greedily drank the rest of the coffee as I approached the wide doors of the Networks station.
They creaked a little as they always did as I appeared in the doorway, a sleepy, overworked ghost. I tossed the coffee cup into the trashcan by the door as I nodded over the after work plans that I had to either postpone, or completely not do.
No bar time, going to be too tired. Not going to have enough time to do more digging in what that Farsulian diplomat released, even after it's been nearly two months. Brahk. Still need to be ready for the shift tomorrow-
“Rux?” The front desk secretary pulled me up and out of my thoughts as I blinked a couple of times, my ears raising as one of my eyes focused on her, a bit frizzled from the overtime I was clocking at the moment.
“Hm? Oh. Hey Liakal, caught me off guard almost as bad as the padcall I got. What's up?” I rubbed my eye as I fully focused on her, making my way over to her.
“Well, whenever you're ready for them they'll give you all you need, apparently, when you get into the studio. What they told me is uh, it's not a pleasant amount of news.” She nervously played with her claws and her headset, her lips quivering a bit.
“That bad? Speh. What about that uh, guest? She gets off-”
“O-oh! Mrs Tarva. She got off the planet easily. I can't say anything else though Rux. They said whatever they have to tell is very, very pertinent not to be let loose until you broadcast it… sorry Rux.”
I patted the top of the semi circle desk that Liakal was sat into, before giving her a quick, albeit small smile with a finger gun before I quickly deflated. It was that bad. With a nod from me I departed into the hallway to the left of the front desk, approaching one of the elevators.
A button press, a chime and the feeling of gravity and anxiousness about to make me hurl later, I was on the floor with the studios. I retraced the steps I had taken only claws before to mine. The green sign saying “Predator Problems” told me I hadn't failed as usual. Something had to be done with our program and segment name, if for nothing else there was apparently much more juicy stuff to talk about.
Opening the door, I expected the hustling and scrambling of the cameramen, the lighting crew, audio specialists. But nothing except a small huddled group of uniformed men. Brahk, I was hoping this wasn't the case but I was never that lucky. I resigned myself to fate as the group finally paid attention to me, and the door clicking and shutting behind me.
“Mr. Rux. Please come over here and sit. You're all good, we just need to go over what we need you to announce in this upcoming impromptu broadcast.” Why the hell were the Gaians on Prime? Wait no. That's not the problem. Why are officers from their military here? Oh stars.
However I could feel my body coming towards the oval shaped table. Eventually knocking into a chair and pulling it out, resting my briefcase onto the ground and taking a seat, pulling up to the desk. I rested my paws on it as I gave a look to the group assembled around it.
All were wearing roughly the same uniform, their fur patterns one of the only differing things between them. Aside from the one at the end of the table. They wore a green beret atop their head, nestled in between the horns that adorned it. They cleared their throat and slid a small packet of papers towards me, startling me a tiny bit.
“While I wish to be polite and respectful, there's simply no way to say this without being blunt. Sole Speaker Jikem is dead. With the current atmosphere on Gaia we thought it'd be best to announce the formation of an emergency government and a leader to head it. All of which has been done in a roundabout manner so as to not alert any radicals or terrorists.”
I had only taken a cursory glance at the front of the small packet before that bombshell of an information was dropped onto me nonchalantly. My paw was halfway to the front page to turn it before my gaze looked up at the Gaian at the end of the oval table who had done so.
“What? Sorry can you-”
“Rux. Come on, you know what I said. Now, I know it isn't everypaw that you get to report on the death of a head of state, let alone be the first one to do so. I'll most certainly give you that. So, we'll give you some time alone…well mostly, to get acquainted with the packet and once you and your crew are roaring to go we'll release the news to the Commonwealth.”
I took a small lookover of the second page but had to pause for a short moment again as I took it in. Yes, yes I did have some questions. Half from the large info dropped on me and the other half that I was now reading with my very own eyes now.
Before they could fully get up I had worked up the courage to get a short clearing of the throat and read out of the lines in the packet out aloud after I had decided it would be better to ask now rather than after. “In conjunction with recent attacks the Armed forces has decided to-” I put down the packet in its entirety now.
“What in the stars could you possibly mean by “safeguarding” democracy? This just seems to be some type of justification for a military takeover. I mean, who's going to fall for this?”
The chairs of the small clique of officers seem to find themselves filled once more as they returned to their positions, most of them now gazing between me, some random crew member scurrying near me and the head honcho with the green beret.
The intensity of the stare of the Gaian at the opposite end of the table seemed to intensify, seemingly his gaze looking through me. “Mr. Rux, I can assure you any such speculation to that matter and that, frankly, justified if albeit imaginary fear is going to be the last thing people on Gaia are going to worry about. Alright?”
I anxiously nodded back, sighing. “L-look I'm just-”
The Bereted officer seemed to nod while holding up his paw, my line of reasoning and thought being stopped by the intrusion. “Worried, you ancestors are always worried. It's why we're here, yes? Anything too dangerous or otherwise unsafe we've always volunteered for so as to save our more cultured self from such. Think about this announcement like that. A warning and an update from our side of the Commonwealth about current affairs, nothing more, nothing less.”
With that it seemed settled for the time being, as the small clique once again rose, and this time was actually able to depart to the booth that overlooked the studio, keeping what I was sure to guess a keen pair of eyes to observe anything.
I settled into my seat more as I gave the small packet a read. It was general stuff as of this point when it came to announcements. Why it's happening, what happened in more details, what they planned to do in the upcoming future, all that juicy stuff. Overall a very plain, if very informative script to go by. Still, being the first to announce the death of a head of state via “Unnatural Causes” would make even some of the most resolved Gaians a bit jumpy, yes?
Once I finally gave the entirety of the packet a quick read over I sat it down giving a glance to my, by now, very familiar set that we used for “Predator Problems”, the entire reason for why I had started it had been to educate and warn people about what to do with predators and the like. Now I was going to have to educate them, apparently, about the fact that our “brothers” in species so to speak were having a bit of topsy-turvy time on their capital planet. Now I was kinda hoping I was one of the more conspiracy theorist nut jobs just so I didn't have to get contacted.
Resigning myself to fate, and the fact that apparently I of all Vens was the most level headed to announce this, I looked over the studio, eventually finding the small group of uniformed men again. I got up and out of the chair as I made my way over to them, flicking my tail into a questioning sign as I did so, my approaching presence quickly noticed.
“Seems like you've got some questions, you read the packet though yeah?” One of them said, I simply signaled a yes with my ears to respond.
“So, is this immediately being aired? Or is it being aired later on tomorrow-well, this paw? Should it be the first thing or the last thing or is it the only thing I'm doing for this one?” With these questions the small clique seemed to talk in-between themselves, small glances were made in my general direction, they seemed to come to some type of conclusion though as they turned back to me, the bereted one now taking center stage again once more.
“Yes. It's being immediately aired. You do realize you are a bit of a celebrity on Gaia, yes? A special breaking news from you would certainly draw the right eyes. Then it'll spread from there. We do have other stuff for you to read, but it'll appear on the prompter. Other than that though we'll take our leave once everything is said and done.”
I gave a small thanks to Solgalik, as that would mean I would be able to go back home and get at least a claw or two of rest. Speh, if I just slept here I could get an extra one easy. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that, instead I apparently had a job to do right now.
With that bit of information I decided to go around, talking to the crew, who as of this point has finally settled down and has stopped scattering from the Gaians. A small conversation with each helped us plan out the next few tantalizingly painful minutes that were about to unfold live on air.
With everything and everyone in place, I took my seat at the curved table in the middle of the cameras, getting my little tie ready. With a countdown from 3, I settled into my on screen persona as the red lights of the cameras went on.
“Good Paw to everyone tuning in! I'm your host as always, Rux Limpbut, and this is Predator problems. This time though, we do have some breaking news that we need to get to. So with that being said, I suppose it's time for me to get to it.”
I straightened my back, placing my paws firmly as I closed my eyes, breathing in and then opening my eyes again.
Alright. Just gotta break the news that the head of state of the other half of our Commonwealth is dead and their Army just decided to seize power for democracy's sake.
“I have some sad, and what some can and should be saying is unsettling, news. Sole Speaker Jikem of the Gaian Cooperative, has died earlier this paw. Details are scarce and hard to come by as of this point, but from preliminary reports and investigations, it seems as though he *may* have been assassinated while at a checkpoint. As many of you know he was elected on a lockstep ticket with the current governor of Venlil Prime, Veln. He oversaw the last closing years of the Dominion-Federation war, as well as the beginning of closer federation ties. Many people are bound to ask as of this point what is going to happen, and the easiest and most truthful answer is…we don't know.”
I shuffled some papers, discarding the packet to the side of the table before continuing on with the information I was to spout out.
“Already reports are coming in that the Armed Forces of Gaia have declared a state of emergency and already there are rumblings that they have formed… an emergency government?”
I gave a bit of a confused look before continuing, I could see the group of uniformed Gaians nodding as I did so, apparently that was good enough for them.
The rest of the news report was generally a bit unsettling, or at least info packed by many people's standards. Updates on the federation at large, some reports on the status of the Venian Commonwealth and what was the plan going forward and before I knew it the red blinking light on the cameras had vanished, and the lights overhead had dimmed.
“Alright, that's good for us. We'll have one of our guys stay over the paw to help your team edit it but other than that? You can head on home.” The bereted one informed me, before signalling to one of the clique, most likely the one to stay here and “help” us edit.
I rested back in my chair and closed my eyes, I think it was time for me to get some shuteye.
—----------
Smoke billows out from the mouth of the Uniformed figure, a lit cigar cradled in his claws. He takes a survey of the trio gathered in front of him.
“So.” The figure grunts out, leaning back into his chair.
“So, what?” One of the trio asks inquisitively, shifting in their seat.
“So now what? Not many paws you get to make a masterstroke of a situation like this. Sole speaker is dead, people are looking to any type of stability and we perfectly fill the slot.” The Uniformed figure takes the cigar up to his mouth, smoking it lightly.
“Well there are numerous concerns.” The most center of the trio speak.
“Like what to do with those brahking predators that apparently still exist.” To the right of the first speaker.
“I vote we integrate them posthaste!” And finally the one on the other end.
A thick billowing cloud of smoke escapes the lips of the Uniformed figure, fidgeting for a moment before rolling forward. His face now fully lit.
“Gentlemen. Calm down. We have plenty of problems with plenty of solutions. But that's why you put me in charge of this little emergency government anyhow right? Levelheaded, warhero, clean political record.”
The trio murmur for a moment before returning a nod, the middle one piping up as he did so.
“Yes, that is why we decided to throw our towel in with you Marshal.”
The Uniformed figure now places his elbows on the table, his paws bridging each other while the cigar is still in-between in his paws.
“That's Marshal-at-Arms Jyuvernik to you. Now where were we? Ah right. The Dark corner. I want you to send a diplomatic team to assess the cattle debacle.”

Serpent-headed when the glamour was lifted but appearing to man as men among men. Crept they into the Councils, taking forms that were like unto men. Slaying by their arts the chiefs of the kingdoms, taking their form and ruling o'er man. Only by magic could they be discovered. Only by sound could their faces be seen. Sought they from the Kingdom of shadows to destroy man and rule in his place. But, know ye, the Masters were mighty in magic, able to lift the Veil from the face of the serpent, able to send him back to his place -Thoth, the Great Wise
Remember Venom, the parasitic alien life form that is attached to spiderman & a massive church bell isused to get rid of em? Venom was basically an Archon that the gnostics & Thoth talk about. Symbiotes are symbiotic alien life forms which feed on the emotions of their hosts, particularly negative emotions. Bells
Its been reported for ages that the plague would skip over the areas in Russia where they had larger concentrations of church bells. Many Soviet researchers determined the amazing healing properties of bells and found that the oscillation of the ultrasonic range of church bells repels bacilli, viruses, and other infectious diseases that are transmitted through the air, and even cures many other diseases. Bells Healing Study
The Apkalu who introduced the Me, brought arts/crafts, agriculture, writing, magic & music. Enki was god of music. See the golden age ancient civilizations sound, frequency & harmonics was widely understood to be the greatest method for healing the body.
To be clear, the cathedrals that you see around the world were never meant to be churches, they were centers used for healing. Cathedrals Healing Centers Everything the church had was pirated.. In sixth century, Pope Gregory, in a letter to those who were to carry Catholicism to Britain, cautioned these missionaries NOT to destroy the ancient sites. Gregory wanted them to destroy their idols, but insisted they kept the architecture as it was thereby automatically linking alignment to the ley lines and maintaining the power source. Egyptian concept of Maat(Harmony) was of the utmost importance, the reason the discipline that the church created to study Egypt has more questions than answers is because they don't understand this.
In the campaign to disconnect us from our true selves, the most detrimental action theyd take involved musical theory principles, suppression of the tritone in music was a central theme for hundreds of years. Canon laws were passed to mandate rules for how to construct scales, how to handle voice leading, what was considered consonant and dissonant, how contrary motion should be handled, what tones should and should not be emphasized in rhythm, which rhythmic patterns were acceptable and specific instructions for how music should be written. Megalithic monuments were built using acoustic HARMONIC Resonance, one will never understand Pyramid, temples, etc disregarding Harmony with nature.
History repeats itself, this 1939 Nature article wouls lead to the change by International Standards Association (ISA) from 432hz to 440hz & still today they have no true understanding of sound & its many benefits. A=440Hz tuning disassociates the connection of consciousness to the body and creates anti-social conditions in humanity. Music -Double Blind study In preliminary research, analysis, and professional discussions by Walton, Koehler, Reid, et al., on the web, A=440Hz frequency music conflicts with human energy centers (i.e., chakras) from the heart to the base of the spine. Alternatively, chakras above the heart are stimulated. Theoretically, the vibration stimulates ego and left-brain function, suppressing the "heart-mind," intuition and creative inspiration. Interestingly, the difference between 440 and 741 Hz is known in musicology as the Devil's Interval.
For maximum suppression of human consciousness, the frequencies we naturally resonate with, and which are the most biologically and psycho-spiritually enhancing, must be maximally suppressed.Ancient Egyptian and Greek instruments have reportedly been found to be tuned to 432 Hz. 432Hz is consistent with the natural resonance of the UNI-VERSE and all of NATURE, that the pitch is more HARMONIOUS and that when our atoms and DNA resonate in harmony with nature's SPIRAL pattern, our sense of connection to nature is said to be AMPLIFIED. Previously I cited the recent discoveries showing DNA being repaired by use of sound frequencies. Priests of Horus meant that they maintained the knowledge of harmony.
The great pyramid Acoustic chambers matched the harmonic chambers of the human body, the King chambesarcophagus Resonance frequency created a resounding beat frequency matching the human heartbeat. Every site had a navel which resonate at 111hz which switched from left to right brain dominance assisting with holistic processing, leading to altered state of consciousness.
Hollywood comes from the Druid magicians whod make Wands outta wood from the Holly tree to cast spells on the unsuspecting. Sounds like Op Mockingbird to me. To disconnect as much as possible the functions of these two distinct parts of the brain so we can be manipulated through the right brain while only being conscious of the left.They plant thoughts, responses, and images through the right brain (the dream-state, the non-conscious, through symbolism and subliminal imagery) while imprisoning the human conscious level in the left brain - the world of can I touch it, smell it, taste it, see it, hear it, OK it must exist. This is why the "education" system, and "science" is designed to talk to the left brain.
No architectural element of antiquity (excluding bearing elements), was just a decoration. Everything had a function. Even the vases, and doorknobs. The doorknobs would be made of copper to kill bacteria & infections. So, at the correct frequency there were regenerating concert halls, where people recharged themselves with pleasant music while buildings collected the energy of the ether. They stigmatized the ether & removed it as well. If zero-point energy machines were developed on the biological model of the caduceus coil and central ion channel then our energy generation could actually enhance human evolution rather than harming ourselves and the planet as it does now. Similarly if we construct superconducting solar architecture with a monoatomic lattice in manmade stone, then the energy emanating from this energy generator will also enhance the consciousness of life around it

Serpent-headed when the glamour was lifted but appearing to man as men among men. Crept they into the Councils, taking forms that were like unto men. Slaying by their arts the chiefs of the kingdoms, taking their form and ruling o'er man. Only by magic could they be discovered. Only by sound could their faces be seen. Sought they from the Kingdom of shadows to destroy man and rule in his place. But, know ye, the Masters were mighty in magic, able to lift the Veil from the face of the serpent, able to send him back to his place -Thoth, the Great Wise
Remember Venom, the parasitic alien life form that is attached to spiderman & a massive church bell isused to get rid of em? Venom was basically an Archon that the gnostics & Thoth talk about. Symbiotes are symbiotic alien life forms which feed on the emotions of their hosts, particularly negative emotions. Bells
Its been reported for ages that the plague would skip over the areas in Russia where they had larger concentrations of church bells. Many Soviet researchers determined the amazing healing properties of bells and found that the oscillation of the ultrasonic range of church bells repels bacilli, viruses, and other infectious diseases that are transmitted through the air, and even cures many other diseases. Bells Healing Study
The Apkalu who introduced the Me, brought arts/crafts, agriculture, writing, magic & music. Enki was god of music. See the golden age ancient civilizations sound, frequency & harmonics was widely understood to be the greatest method for healing the body.
To be clear, the cathedrals that you see around the world were never meant to be churches, they were centers used for healing. Cathedrals Healing Centers Everything the church had was pirated.. In sixth century, Pope Gregory, in a letter to those who were to carry Catholicism to Britain, cautioned these missionaries NOT to destroy the ancient sites. Gregory wanted them to destroy their idols, but insisted they kept the architecture as it was thereby automatically linking alignment to the ley lines and maintaining the power source. Egyptian concept of Maat(Harmony) was of the utmost importance, the reason the discipline that the church created to study Egypt has more questions than answers is because they don't understand this.
In the campaign to disconnect us from our true selves, the most detrimental action theyd take involved musical theory principles, suppression of the tritone in music was a central theme for hundreds of years. Canon laws were passed to mandate rules for how to construct scales, how to handle voice leading, what was considered consonant and dissonant, how contrary motion should be handled, what tones should and should not be emphasized in rhythm, which rhythmic patterns were acceptable and specific instructions for how music should be written. Megalithic monuments were built using acoustic HARMONIC Resonance, one will never understand Pyramid, temples, etc disregarding Harmony with nature.
History repeats itself, this 1939 Nature article wouls lead to the change by International Standards Association (ISA) from 432hz to 440hz & still today they have no true understanding of sound & its many benefits. A=440Hz tuning disassociates the connection of consciousness to the body and creates anti-social conditions in humanity. Music -Double Blind study In preliminary research, analysis, and professional discussions by Walton, Koehler, Reid, et al., on the web, A=440Hz frequency music conflicts with human energy centers (i.e., chakras) from the heart to the base of the spine. Alternatively, chakras above the heart are stimulated. Theoretically, the vibration stimulates ego and left-brain function, suppressing the "heart-mind," intuition and creative inspiration. Interestingly, the difference between 440 and 741 Hz is known in musicology as the Devil's Interval.
For maximum suppression of human consciousness, the frequencies we naturally resonate with, and which are the most biologically and psycho-spiritually enhancing, must be maximally suppressed.Ancient Egyptian and Greek instruments have reportedly been found to be tuned to 432 Hz. 432Hz is consistent with the natural resonance of the UNI-VERSE and all of NATURE, that the pitch is more HARMONIOUS and that when our atoms and DNA resonate in harmony with nature's SPIRAL pattern, our sense of connection to nature is said to be AMPLIFIED. Previously I cited the recent discoveries showing DNA being repaired by use of sound frequencies. Priests of Horus meant that they maintained the knowledge of harmony.
The great pyramid Acoustic chambers matched the harmonic chambers of the human body, the King chambesarcophagus Resonance frequency created a resounding beat frequency matching the human heartbeat. Every site had a navel which resonate at 111hz which switched from left to right brain dominance assisting with holistic processing, leading to altered state of consciousness.
Hollywood comes from the Druid magicians whod make Wands outta wood from the Holly tree to cast spells on the unsuspecting. Sounds like Op Mockingbird to me. To disconnect as much as possible the functions of these two distinct parts of the brain so we can be manipulated through the right brain while only being conscious of the left.They plant thoughts, responses, and images through the right brain (the dream-state, the non-conscious, through symbolism and subliminal imagery) while imprisoning the human conscious level in the left brain - the world of can I touch it, smell it, taste it, see it, hear it, OK it must exist. This is why the "education" system, and "science" is designed to talk to the left brain.
No architectural element of antiquity (excluding bearing elements), was just a decoration. Everything had a function. Even the vases, and doorknobs. The doorknobs would be made of copper to kill bacteria & infections. So, at the correct frequency there were regenerating concert halls, where people recharged themselves with pleasant music while buildings collected the energy of the ether. They stigmatized the ether & removed it as well. If zero-point energy machines were developed on the biological model of the caduceus coil and central ion channel then our energy generation could actually enhance human evolution rather than harming ourselves and the planet as it does now. Similarly if we construct superconducting solar architecture with a monoatomic lattice in manmade stone, then the energy emanating from this energy generator will also enhance the consciousness of life around it

Yo ik this sub is going dark soon but I'm at a loss and hoping for some input to direct me on how to find the information or anything really.
Q: how long can a landlord have contractors working in a property that's actively lived in?. Like is there acceptable business hours?
Edit: we live in Missouri Montgomery county
Basically my fiancee and I live in a shared living space. A duplex if u will. Tbh it's a trailer with an addition. Both spaces have a bedroom and a living room with shared kitchen. Possibly a shared bathroom but It wasn't part of the original agreement.
So our old "roommate" a crackhead who stole a lot from us. Finally got kicked out after a year + of not paying. She let him stay so long bc we where paying. Rediculous in my mind but that's beside the point rn.
The landlord wanted to "remodel" a lot of stuff when he moved out 2 months ago. She didn't do anything for the first month and a half. A few days ago she says our new roomie is moving in this Thursday. And she's been trying to "redo" it all in the 11 days. She's been very irregular in providing notice often telling us at 7-10pm that's she or her "handyman" will be here at 8am. Only once have we denied entry bc of lack of notice. The real issue is that she's wanting us to let the handyman in before we leave for our jobs. Leaving him here with all our stuff and free access to all but the locked bedroom (pets I don't want to be lost)
Today we had to leave a key out for him to come in at 8 am while we slept. (we both work nights and this was the easiest solution) so he came in at 8am. Around 9am the landlady came in to (save money and paint herself) w.e. it's our day off so we slept till 4pm to make up sleep. At 2pm she left and texts my man that the handyman will be working a bit longer to get some stuff done bc she's pressed for time (why'd u wait a month before doing anything. And set a date for the new tenant if u weren't ready??) at 7pm we called and asked her how much longer he was going to be working. He's hammering all day. And the paint thinner is so strong in the house I threw up as soon as I woke up. Both of us have headaches. No windows open or anything. Anyway at 7 she says she'll talk to him. My man left the room (we've been hiding from the smell) and heard him answer the phone and talk to her.... And 45 min later he's still working with no sign of stopping. So my man goes and asks him.dudes A little rude says the landlord never called and is mad. Whatever. He finally leaves at 8pm.
Also I'd like to mention the handyman had his woman helping him (fine) and his two young children in the car. They keep going in and out of our house to talk to Mom and dad. (Not fine)
That's the exact reason why I don't want to leave some random handyman in the house as long as he wants when we work nights. Like he could be bringing them here to sleep and leave before we get home and we'd never know.
Also mentioning how we have black mold but it's more important to her to remodel then to fix the black mold.
So how long can a landlord have contractors working in a property that's actively lived in?. Like is there acceptable business hours?

I'm starting to think about buying my first house and am trying to think through the pros/cons of being conservative versus willing to stretch the budget a bit for a great house. A major factor in this decision is how difficult it is (logistically, financially, etc.) to improve the house we buy. There are at least a few different kinds of "improvement" that could be relevant, such as:

1. Adding space. E.g. if we are in a 3 bedroom but then have 3 kids and they get old enough that it doesn't work well for them to share.
   
2. Updating appliances
   
3. Updating HVAC
   
4. Other things I might not have thought of
   

I'm sure the answers will partially depend on the specific house. But I'm young and naive and am just trying to get a ballpark answer on these to start. Thanks in advance.

SOME BACKGROUND:
I'm going to be upfront; the one thing truly stopping me from saying I am autistic with full certainty is my lack of an official diagnosis, despite having the knowledge that one does not need to be diagnosed to be autistic. I'm almost entirely certain after about 8 or so years of consideration. I'm attempting to seek a diagnosis not only for personal validation though, but also to have something concrete to give to my parents. For now, I consider myself self-diagnosed, though I've given my psychiatrist a 20 page document detailing why I believe I would benefit from a proper evaluation as well as all of the experiences and the collection of traits I have that I attribute to being autistic.
For some background: I am 20 and AFAB, transmasc but presenting as female due to not being out of the closet. I am Vietnamese and part of the first generation in my family to be born in America. My parents and grandparents were born and raised in Vietnam, and thus were raised with a very different culture surrounding things such as mental health and disability compared to the information I've had access to growing up in the US. I still live with my parents and am struggling with already diagnosed mental health issues including major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified ADHD, and an unspecified trauma disorder. Because of the language and cultural barrier, my parents are really only aware of the depression in name, and the ADHD they understand even less. They are trying their best, though my dad hasn't looked at any of the resources I've sent him about ADHD or autism in my attempts to help him understand better.
On my dad in particular: he has always been the kind to believe in toughing things out and simply trying harder. Over the years he has grown to be more understanding, especially as my mental health issues grew to degrees that became harder to hide, but we have a history in terms of what I'm about to describe re: my very recent meltdown.
WHAT HAPPENED:
The day before Mother's Day, my dad sprung up on me without warning that me and my younger brother were going over to our paternal grandparents' house to wish our grandmother a happy Mother's Day. This immediately upset me not because I didn't want to go, but because I hadn't had the time to mentally prepare myself for the shift in my routine—I had only done so for the actual date of Mother's Day. I've asked my family before that I am told ahead of time when plans to go out of the house where I'm involved are made, preferably at least a day beforehand. Unfortunately, my family is comprised of very spontaneous people who tend to make plans on the fly.
I made it clear I was fairly upset about not being told ahead of time to my mother, who thanked me when I got up to get ready to go. Something about being thanked for this was the final nail in the coffin for the upset that was gripping me. I think it was the idea that she knew full well that I was attempting to set aside my own comforts(? for lack of a better term) for the sake of family normality; something that I've had to do often.
I had a quiet breakdown in the bathroom while I washed myself, which came with the annoyance of how snotty tears would make you. Very annoying when bowing your head to wash your hair. I've had practice locking myself in the bathroom to have my breakdowns in a private place where I couldn't be walked in on and then questioned, because I always knew that I could never explain why I was having such a disproportionate reaction, especially given the cultural barrier. It would all seem stupid, immature, selfish, spoiled, and an overreaction. My plan was to cry it out in the shower and come back out after composing myself so we could leave. Tried and true method. I bit the back of my hands—to stifle my crying, to give myself a physical sensation to ground myself with, some combination of those two. It helped only a little bit.
As it turns out, there was a lot of baggage behind this upset outside of just this one incident. There is a very long-running pattern in which I must sacrifice my comfort or suck up my complaints in order to appease whatever my parents have decided to do, or whatever I was expected to do.
Sometimes it was their obsession with taking billions of family pictures—I vividly recall one instance where I was horribly upset about having to wear a dress, especially for the sole sake of driving to some flower field just to take pretty family pictures of which we have thousands. I was much younger at the time, maybe 14, and was expressing my upset in the only somewhat acceptable way I could, i.e. being incredibly grumpy. Eventually my dad blew up at me for being spoiled and various other things while I cried in the back of the car, my mother and younger brother dead silent. He drove to cool off. We did not talk about it ever again afterward.
Sometimes it was school-related. When I was around 11, I was struggling to complete an assignment for school for reasons I couldn't articulate, and honestly still can't. It was simple, and it was a drawing assignment, and I absolutely adored traditional art. But I was simply Stuck on some part, and was working myself into an anxious mess up until midnight. I was terrified of getting bad grades, of not meeting the expectations of people I considered authority figures, such as teachers. So much so that I wanted to stay home. And knowing I had no "proper" excuse, I tried to use a different one when I asked to stay home for that one day: menstrual cramps. I was told to see how I was doing in the morning.
In the morning I still said I wished to stay home from school due to cramps. After a lot of deliberation with my mother, she relented and allowed me to stay home. Despite the fact that I had gotten what I wanted, I was already horribly upset. Looking back on it, I think it was the fact that I had to fight so hard to stay home for just one day. It was upsetting that my visible upset wasn't enough. It was upsetting that they weren't just getting it.
I had a breakdown in the bathroom (there's a trend here as you can see) and slammed my arm against the heater in there so many times that I ended up with horrible bruising on the back of my arm the days after. My family members knocked on the door because people needed to get ready, and that only made me more upset—couldn't they hear me crying? Didn't they care? When I finally came out and crawled up into the upper bunk, my dad came in and started yelling at me.
Your average stuff, things like, "If I had a stomachache I wouldn't just be able to not go to work." I blocked a lot of it out of my memory, but most of the time I was under the covers crying while he engaged in a one-sided shouting match with me. Eventually my mother came in and gently asked me to stop crying, and to stop making my father mad.
While these two incidents and the others like them happened years ago, they were defining moments in my life and inform how I handle conflict (as in: I don't) and how I go about expressing my struggles (as in: rarely, and often with great shame). Standing in the shower and being unable to not think about these things, I spiraled further. It felt like I was being swallowed by my emotions. I don't know if angry or sad or upset really capture what I was feeling properly. My thoughts were like a car with its brakes cut, going at breakneck speeds on the highway.
By the time I was done with my shower I still wasn't composed. As it turns out, when you abuse a coping mechanism that relies on repression as long as I did, it stops working at some point. There was just too much to try and hide. More hand biting happened along with some hitting my head with my fists. So I sat in my room, and eventually my mom came in and saw my face. Unsurprisingly she didn't acknowledge the fact that I had clearly been crying—instead, with a soft voice, like she was coaxing a small child into doing something vaguely unpleasant, she told me, "Come on, let's go." And I'm sure that's how she was seeing me at that point. An oppositional, defiant child. I struggle not to see myself in that way, and still have been trying to unpack how much shame I feel when things like this happen.
My crying started up again because my tear ducts really don't like listening to me, and I asked somewhat incredulously, "You're still going to make me go?" In retrospect, it probably sounded bratty. Here I was, 20 years old, complaining about being "made" to go somewhere.
It took maybe a couple of seconds for my mom to decide to just let me stay home instead.
Once everyone was out, I had the loudest cry I'd ever experienced in my life. I'd never had the opportunity to, and so it just kind of... came out once the house was silent. I think I might've wailed. And then I promptly shut the hell up once I heard my [maternal] grandmother coming back upstairs. She passed by my room, asked why I didn't go (not noticing the state of my face, maybe due to eyesight). I gave a non-answer and she made some exasperated remark that I don't know how to translate into English. It nearly set me off again, knowing how inconvenient I was, how tired they all were of me and my antics.
I had a headache for the next 20 or so hours, which I knew would happen based on past experiences with breakdowns as emotionally taxing as this one. I'd also predicted during the whole thing that the next day I would be pretty nonfunctional, which I was unfortunately also right about. Whenever these things happen it throws my entire week off. It's upsettingly debilitating. Two days later, I'm somewhat functional, but the whole thing disrupted my... everything. I have an exam that I had planned to study for during the days I was busy trying to get myself back together emotionally. The headache actually came back, and is sitting with me nicely while I type this. Hey there.
The day immediately after, Mother's Day: I was pretty fearful the entire time. Mostly of what my dad was going to do. Best case scenario, he'd come into my room and we could have an open dialogue and communicate about what happened. Worst case scenario, he'd regress and revert back to how he'd been like years ago, screaming at me for my incompetence, my selfishness, my refusal to cooperate with the smallest things despite all our family does for me. After a little bit I had to add on a third possibility: that he would simply go about like nothing happened, which he has also done before. Generally though, I wasn't optimistic about my chances here. I learned through this that I absolutely don't trust him to handle my larger, more intrusive, more ugly issues with grace.
He's been ignoring my existence since my little meltdown. No hellos, good mornings, not even looking at me. He's talking with everyone else as normal. I've been keeping my head down and can really only assume that he's angry with me as I'd expected and based on what I know about him/understand in terms of his personality through prior experience.
While I could give benefit of the doubt and say he may be attempting to give me space, he's the kind of person who you can tell when he's angry. It's something we share. And it's truly more likely that he's upset about me throwing what looked to him like a shitfit over something small and inconsequential, refusing to do something as simple as a visit to make his mothemy paternal grandmother to give Mother's Day gifts. And I didn't get my propensity for avoiding communication and unpleasant conversations at all costs from nowhere, so. Here we are.
I still don't really know if what I had was an autistic meltdown or a "standard" emotional breakdown, whatever that even looks like. I think I'm used to framing my behaviors with neurotypical language, and often language that isn't too kind to myself. So on top of venting a bit, I also wanted to get an outside perspective, and see whether my breakdown sounded similar to any other autistic peoples' experiences with meltdowns.
If there's any advice out there to give in terms of my relationship with my dad, that would also be appreciated. I love my family, but it all hurts, and this has also made me realize that I may have a lot more trauma to unpack surrounding my family than I've acknowledged.
I've been considering getting a physical copy of Sincerely, Your Autistic Child to annotate and highlight certain sections, putting sticky tabs on chapters I find relevant, and providing definitions for words I know he hasn't come across before, to give to him and ask him to at least attempt to read those bits. The more bitter and angry part of me, the part that are tired of having to be the one to accommodate for everything interpersonally, just wants to go up to him and tell him the reason I never go to him when I'm upset is because I'm scared. To tell him exactly what all those times he yelled at me did to my ability to self-advocate, to tell him what all those times my emotions and emotional well being were devalued did to my self-esteem. That the "interpersonally submissive" phrase from my 40 page psych report has roots in the way he raised me entirely on obedience, and how I am still learning that I am allowed to say no in all sorts of contexts. Maybe I can do both of these things, and probably when he isn't pretending I don't exist, and when I feel less like I'll fall to bits the moment I open my mouth in his direction. I'll likely try and avoid using language that outright blames him for the sake of maintaining a good relationship whenever the talk comes around.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that I might need more support than I allowed myself to think. I only recently found out that truly voicing that I'm having academic trouble is something that brings me so much shame that tears spring up in my eyes—going to the Disability Support Services office on my campus made me far more emotional and nervous than I'd expected. With how I'm navigating my own self-acceptance, I don't know how I'm going to get my family to accept that I'm not the "normal" child I know they still wished I was.

I'm on my 3rd case of burn out working for another IT provider. After another weekend of worrying about things beyond my control, losing sleep about tickets, something finally hit me. I'm making peanuts, stressing out about these little issues that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things while the company owner (my boss) drives a 7 series and owns a beach front vacation property. I've been spending so much time worrying about getting fired for lack of performance and it leads me to work harder; desperately looking for solutions to problems that I should be escalating to others with a higher pay grade. If nobody answers my emails and the solution gets delayed, the customer gets upset...who cares ? I've been in this industry 10 miserable years and despite how hard I work, how many big problems I solve on my own, nothing ever comes of it other than a "great job to so-and-so!" company wide e-mail. Now I'm suddenly realizing that I don't want to seek recognition or a pat on the back. I want to do the bare minimum, collect a check and look for something better. During my previous burnouts, I would spend days planning out in my head a plan to quit or "just keep doing my best and apply for something better." but that always lead me to continue killing myself with stress over tickets and not putting enough time into studying/labbing and sprucing up my resume properly for a truly better, higher paying position.
I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize it but everyone here was right, it really is just a matter of perspective. Quiet quitting isn't a shameful, lazy approach. It's 100% absolutely necessary in this economy and work culture. Doing the bare minimum and letting go of any fear of being fired over lack of performance, while putting your energy into developing yourself, keeping yourself healthy and interviewing for different jobs IS THE WAY TO GO. I feel so foolish letting myself get worked up into this state of burn out again when it's totally unnecessary.
I'm no longer afraid of the confrontation about performance. I'm gonna hit em with that "I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm trying my best" until I either line up something better or they fire me so I can collect that sweet, sweet unemployment and take my time to regroup and find a job that doesn't make me want to throw my laptop out the window. There's no shame anymore and there was never any reason to feel any shame. I've worked hard for peanuts my whole life, now it's time to put in the level of work this pay deserves. I used to think this sub was full of lazy shitters but I now realize how wrong I've been.

This post is part of a series of reviews. To see them all, click here.

Season Information

• Airdates: 30th August 1980 - 21st March 1981
• Doctor: 4th (Tom Baker)
• Companions: K-9 (V/A: John Leeson, S18E01-20), Romana II (Lalla Ward, S18E01-20), Adric (Matthew Waterhouse, S18E09-28), Nyssa (Sarah Sutton, S18E21-28), Tegan (Janet Fielding, S18E25-28)
• Other Notable Characters: The Decayed Master (Geoffrey Beevers, S18E21-24), The Tremas Master (Anthony Ainley, S18E24-28)
• Producer: John Nathan-Turner
• Script Editors: Christopher H. Bidmead

Review

In retrospect I really shouldn't have called Season 15 "The Transitional Season". Because, well, Season 18 is obviously the Doctor Who season most clearly transitioning between eras. So much so that by the end of the season the only thing left of the 4th Doctor era is the 4th Doctor himself. Through this season, the 4th Doctor, Romana and K-9 become the 5th Doctor, Adric, Nyssa and Tegan. And it leads to kind of an odd feeling.
It's also notable that there's a serious tonal change that happens this season. While Graham Williams never quite got to make the comedy era of Doctor Who that he wanted to, he did give it a more relaxed and free-flowing atmosphere. Under new Producer John Nathan-Turner, as well as new Script Editor Christopher H. Bidmead, the story veers right back into being a more serious show. And for the first time, there was real effort being put into grounding a lot of the stories in real science. And while the actual science involved isn't really accurate, I do think it has a positive impact on the season as a whole. The science on Doctor Who is always made up, but at least this way it feels like we're pointing in the vague direction of something real.
It's certainly a refreshing change of pace from the rest of the 4th Doctor era. The 4th Doctor era, at least from Season 13 onwards had a tendency to feel very gimmicky. During the Hinchcliffe era it was taking popular horror stories like Frankenstein or The Mummy and adapting them for Doctor Who. During the Williams era, that shifted more towards genre parodies, with some journeys in to Greek mythology. Season 18 feels kind of refreshing in large part because…there's not really any obvious influences. Sure we're pulling from real science, both in individual episodes and in a more general sense with the broad theme of entropy, but that feels a lot less invasive than pulling from more famous media.
Which leads us nicely to the entropy thing. Season 18, at least in theory, has an overarching theme of "entropy". Or more accurately it has an overarching theme of "decay" that sometimes takes on the form of entropy. Because look, there's nothing especially entropic about the vampires in State of Decay or the way the Argolins are dying out in The Leisure Hive, but it still falls into the larger umbrella of decay. Which gives this season a fairly melancholic tone to it on the whole. Throughout the entire season, things seem to be falling apart, especially once we get to E-Space. Warriors' Gate is full of all of this imagery of past riches fading into nothing, Keeper of Traken is literally about an entirely way of life nearly falling apart, and Logopolis is where we, really and truly, get the entropy theme, for real this time. But also…
Logopolis, in which the Doctor dies, briefly turns into a man with white cracked skin only to sit up looking about a decade younger, is probably the best indication of the other half of our decay theme. Because Doctor Who is a show where things generally work out for the best, this is a season that is as much about rebirth as it is about decay. The Argolins from Leisure Hive are given a chance at new life for their civilization. The peoples with meet in the E-Space Trilogy all ultimately get delivered from their decaying societies and given a chance to build back up to something new. In Meglos…I guess at the end there the people of Tigella do ultimately get to live on the surface of their planet…somehow. Even in Keeper of Traken the story leaves the Trakenite people on something of a hopeful note, with a new Keeper installed to look after it. Sure, in Logopolis we learn that the Master apparently blew up Traken off screen (if I had a nickel for every time the Master blew up a planet off screen…) along with its entire solar system, but at least at the end of Keeper things are looking hopeful.
And that idea of renewal kind of extends to the show itself right? Like this is clearly a season that's transitioning into a new, renewed version of itself, at least in theory. That's why we lose Romana and the robot dog, and replace them with a couple of kids and a fairly young flight attendant. John Nathan-Turner felt that the trio of Romana, K-9 and the Doctor were too invulnerable, which is why he decided to write out the two surplus geniuses. You can see this in how stories are structured. Generally speaking in the five stories that Romana and K-9 are in this season, Romana is either confined to her own subplot or taken out of commission, while K-9 is so constantly dismantled or on very low power, it begins to feel like a running gag by the time he leaves.
And at the same time, this season shows us Romana at the absolute height of her competence. She's basically the Doctor's equal by the time we enter E-Space. I think that's why I feel like it was the right time for Romana to leave: she'd done all the developing she needed to. There was nowhere to take the character without making the show just as much about her as it was about the Doctor. So while losing Romana, and Lalla Ward with her, is a shame, it was the right time to drop her. Losing K-9 on the other hand…look the TARDIS is already about to get exceptionally crowded and unless you don't bring Nyssa back in Logopolis there really isn't time for the robot dog, but I'd argue that there was no need to drop K-9 from the show. His presence making the TARDIS team "unassailable" just doesn't hold up, as him continually being dismantled throughout this season proves. And, as Tom Baker once observed in one of the funniest outtakes in Doctor Who history "you [K-9] never fucking know the answer when it's important".
But we do eventually have to introduce the younger folks. It starts out with Alzarian teenager turned TARDIS stowaway Adric. Adric has a reputation as an awful companion, though personally I've never been that down on him. I don't love the character, but he's perfectly acceptable in small doses. The biggest issue I take with him is that he plays into the sullen teenager a bit too much. The moody teenage genius is just not an enjoyable character to follow along with, and it's only going to get worse next season. However, there are moments, particularly in Keeper of Traken where the student/pupil dynamic with the Doctor makes him genuinely likable. Also, his obvious crush on Nyssa, more seen in Logopolis is fairly endearing. But a lot of the time he's just, and I've used this phrase before, an arrogant little shit. And I think it is fair to point out that Matthew Waterhouse, inexperienced as he was, often gives a very wooden performance.
Nyssa is introduced in Keeper of Traken. There we see her interacting on her own homeworld. She takes initiative a number of times in that story, mostly during the jailbreak section which she organizes. In Logopolis she's out searching for her father and that's when she has the rug pulled out from under her. She learns that, in short order, the Master killed her father and then that he destroyed her home system. Between the two stories we get a really solid setup for Nyssa, and Sarah Sutton is really solid in the role, though whether the show will follow through on any of this in the next couple seasons…is a story for another time. And speaking of characters whose somewhat tragic first couple stories often get overlooked, in her first story Tegan learns that the Master has killed her aunt, who she was clearly quite close to. Sure, it's not on the level of Nyssa's loss, but it's not a competition. Tegan, like Nyssa, gets a strong introduction, and like Nyssa we'll see in the future how successful the followup to that introduction is.
And then, there's the Doctor. Amidst all of this change, he's the one thing that stays constant from the prior era, and he ends up feeling a bit out of place by the end of season as a result. Some of this is in retrospect of course. It's only weird seeing the 4th Doctor with Nyssa and Tegan because we think of these two as 5th Doctor companions. But I do think that there's something to the idea that the 4th Doctor belonged to the 1970s. We've now reached the 1980s and the scarf man has somewhat been left behind. Or that may be because Tom Baker just seems tired this season. He's not putting in bad work, because he knows the character too well to do that, but he does seem more disconnected than ever. Of course if I'm going to mention this, I should mention that Baker was getting over an illness during the filming of the E-Space trilogy. And he has his moments of higher energy, particularly in Keeper of Traken for whatever reason. But there are also times, even before the illness, where Tom looks like he's sleepwalking through all of this. I think it's fair to say it was time for him to leave.
On a technical level there are some changes. The Doctor's costume changed substantially, and the rest of the cast will be wearing the same clothes they were introduced in for the rest of next season (well okay, Nyssa's outfit will undergo some minor alterations). It's one of the less well-handled elements of the JNT era: people stop dressing like people, but end up stuck in costumes. This will somewhat ameliorate as time goes on, but it's something worth noting: it starts early, and was very intentional. JNT explicitly wanted all of his main cast to be wearing "uniforms". Musically we've undergone a big change as well. Dudley Simpson is gone and he's been replaced by a rotating cast of composers from the BBC Radiophonics workshop. These are all solid at bare minimum, with my favorite probably being Paddy Kingsland. As a result of this change, the style has changed considerably. Over the course of Simpson's time as composer, the show became more and more orchestral, whereas under the Radiophonics composers we've gone in a more electronic direction. It's a big shift, but by the end of the season it feels natural, and I think Doctor Who does well with a synth sound.
Season 18 begins the reign of Doctor Who's final producer. Eventually JNT will stay on too long, as even he would admit, but at this point all of his ideas feel new and fresh. They aren't all improvements, though some are, but Season 18 does feel entirely different from what came before it, and there's value in that. More than that though, other than enforcing a more serious tone than the Graham Williams era, Season 18 ends up feeling like it's going back to basics. Sure it's got an arc (two of them in fact) but all of the stories feel a lot less constrained by a style than earlier 4th Doctor era stories, which works to it's advantage. Genuinely, this is a strong season, a strong start to John Nathan-Turner's run as producer, and a strong end to the 4th Doctor era.
Even if, you know, it already felt like the show had left him behind well before he regenerated.

Awards

Best Story: State of Decay
What can I say, I like it when old Uncle Terry does horror. It's odd, I'll admit, to have talked up so much how refreshing it felt to have a season that didn't rely so much on gimmicks and then to say that my favorite story from said season to be the vampire pastiche but…I'm allowed to be self contradictory if I like. And genuinely, State of Decay works so well that it's worth highlighting my own inconsistency to highlight the story.
Worst Story: Meglos
Meglos (the character) has no motivation, the stuff on Tigella is the most boring version of a conflict we've done…probably dozens of times at this point, none of the characters are at all memorable…what a waste of the return of Jacqueline Hill.
Most Important: The Keeper of Traken
Logopolis has the regeneration and introduction of block-transfer computation, so this was a closely run thing. But Keeper introduces the version of the Master that will be sticking around for the remainder of the show, sets up a lot about Logopolis, and introduces a new companion. Like I said it's close, but this feels like the right call to me. I also could have gone with Warriors' Gate, but Keeper and Logopolis both feel much more significant to me.
Funniest Story: N/A
Often times when there's not really a comedy in a season, I go for the strangest story as a sort of proxy for the funniest story. But the strangest story this season was Warriors' Gate, and it's not the right kind of strange to qualify for this award. So we're leaving this space blank, as JNT intentionally tries to move the show away from what Graham Williams was doing with it.
Scariest Story: State of Decay
I had to chose which was scarier between the destruction of the universe via entropy or vampires and went with vampires. I think my sense of scale might be borked.

Rankings

1. State of Decay (8/10)
2. Warriors' Gate (8/10)
3. The Leisure Hive (7/10)
4. The Keeper of Traken (7/10)
5. Logopolis (7/10)
6. Full Circle (7/10)
7. Meglos (1/10)

Season Rankings
These are based on weighted averages that take into account the length of each story. Take this ranking with a grain of salt however. No average can properly reflect a full season's quality and nuance, and the scores for each story are, ultimately, highly subjective and a bit arbitrary.

1. Season 7 (8.1/10)
2. Season 10 (7.5/10)
3. Season 4 (7.0/10)
4. Season 11 (6.5/10)
5. Season 18 (6.4/10)
6. Season 12 (6.3/10)
7. Season 6 (6.3/10)
8. Season 1 (6.2/10)
9. Season 14 (6.2/10)
10. Season 13 (6.1/10)
11. Season 3 (6.0/10)
12. Season 5 (6.0/10)
13. Season 15 (5.9/10)
14. Season 2 (5.8/10)
15. Season 9 (5.8/10)
16. Season 8 (5.8/10)
17. Season 17 (5.8/10) *
18. Season 16 – The Key to Time (5.6/10)

* Includes originally unmade serial Shada
I'm genuinely considering abandoning the season/doctor era rankings portion of these posts. Do I think that Season 18 was good…absolutely. The 5th best season of the first 18 though?
What's happened here is that a lot of very solid scores (4 sevens…) have skewed the results up higher than they would otherwise have gone to the point that, even me giving Meglos a 1/10 hasn't affected it that much. The end result is a season going much higher than I would otherwise put it. Granted if I were as high on Warriors' Gate as some, I'd probably feel better about this, but if I were as high on that story as some it probably gets a perfect score and borks these rankings even further. I don't know, I guess the rankings serve their purpose as a snapshot of how good I felt any given season was on average, but I less and less feel like they're a reflection of my actual rankings of the seasons
Next Time: Somehow, I've reached the end of the 4th Doctor era. Now I just have to write about him. That's…going to be a lot.

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

Okay so, I am a highschool student who took dance P.E. instead of regular P.E. for two trimesters. After tri two the class had gave me so much anxiety and had become too much for me to manage so i dropped out and left to regular P.E. which wasn't a problem but theres a dance show.
In this dance class we learn dances and perform them in these school events for parents/ family of students involved, I've done one of these shows before and it was fine but very stressful. The next show is coming up this weekend and even though im not in the class anymore I still am doing the show which is not easy as I feel like I've lost my space in the community, forgotten some dance moves, and just lost interest in class. Despite all this I still was gonna do the show to not inconvenience my dance teacher, However I am sick at the moment. I'm writing this on a monday which ive taken off of school and feel no better if not worse, tomorrow is tech rehearsal after school, thursday is rehearsal, and friday and saturday are the shows.
I know the obvious answer is to not do the shows but i'm deeply afraid of what will happen if i don't do the show mainly inconveniencing my teacher making her hate me. Shes been very helpful making me apart of this show despite not being in the class and I feel like this would be a slap in the face for her.
I dont know what to do.

I did EASE expansion with Dr. Kasey Li. This is what my EASE experience has been like.
This is a pretty niche and long post, but I’ve been going through this expansion process as a 32 year old woman, going through my first week of expansion. I figured I’d share my experience as I know how much I was eating up these posts during my research. I also made a video that's a bit less detailed if that is more digestible.
Here is a breakdown of my experience day by day.
Day 0, Wednesday:
Had surgery at Stanford hospital and aside from a mild billing heart attack they gave me, it was a great experience. Kind, knowledgeable staff, great bedside manner. After surgery I woke up and could immediately breathe better. Nasal breathing feels like moving from a coffee straw to a regular size straw. Swallowing and talking were out of the question with the TPD in my mouth though. Took about 90 minutes to wake up and then I was released.
The first night was ROUGH. I maybe slept for 4 hours. Woke up repeatedly with bleeding. Finally stopped trying to sleep and reached out to Dr. Li at 6 am because my mouth was FULL of congealed blood.
Day 1, Thursday:
I was supposed to have my first follow up appointment on Friday, but due to the bleeding Dr Li came in bright and early at 6:30 am. He responded to my 6am text within 5 minutes and was like “How soon can you get to my office? I’ll be there”. We rushed over and he gave me some local anesthetic injections and cauterized the surgical site. He made sure I was very comfortable and that the bleeding had stopped before sending me home. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. Swelling got much worse this day. Had to ice pretty much constantly to keep it down. Definitely uncomfortable but I had really good pain management.
Day 2, Friday:
Had my official follow up appointment and he turned the device for the first time. Turning was weird but not painful. Gave me some more injections as I had had a bit more bleeding on the opposite side. The swelling got intense this day. My cheeks were huge and hot and I was having a bit more jaw pain. Dr Li said my pain and swelling would peak around 48 hours and that was definitely the case. I just took my meds, rotated between ice and heat and overall had a smooth day with some bleeding again over night.
Day 3, Saturday:
Woke up with more (but far less) congealed blood in my mouth. Texted him at 9:20 AM to see what I should do and he texted back immediately saying meet me at the office at 10. Performed injections to stop the bleeding, cauterize, rinse and repeat. He sends me home. Still eating only a liquid diet. Still swollen. But not uncomfortable like it was. Not really icing much at this point, mostly focusing on heat, and feeling pretty human. Can go on walks and had a tiny bit of pasta (the most solid food I’ve had at this point). There is a tiny bit of bleeding at one point but it stops quickly and I go about my day pretty much normal and for the first time have no bleeding through the night!
Day 4, Sunday:
Slept great, no blood. Swelling still very present but going down. Was able to walk around, get around the city, virtually no jaw pain until about 4 pm when truly out of nowhere my incision site where the appliance is placed starts bleeding AGAIN. I quickly try to gently catch the blood by packing in gauze trying to stop the bleeding and avoid going into the office as it was Mother’s Day.
It bleeds through the gauze for 1.5 hours and I finally reach out to Dr. Li. He once again responds almost immediately and tells me I can come into the office or try and stop it, but that his preference is always to see patients in person. I try to get it to stop for about another hour with a couple false stops, but I’m unsuccessful yet again, so I make my way to the office where he meets me at almost 8:00 PM. He is very kind and understanding and just says “Shit happens, I’m there for my patients”.
He injects me, cauterizes it again, tells me I should stop talking advil as that can be an anticoagulant and is just very kind and understanding. I was supposed to have my second follow up on Monday morning, but he turns my device for me for the second time that night instead to try and avoid me having to go into the office again the next day. Turning is still uncomfy but not painful. He waits with me to make sure the site is stable, and then waits with me outside while wait for my ride.
Day 5, Monday:
Woke up with no blood in my mouth, swelling still going down. Pain levels very minimal. Breathing feeling smoother. My left TMJ (which I’ve had issues with in the past is more crackly and sore than usual, so I’m watching that carefully. So far so good. Just staying in bed and hoping to make it through the day/night with no bleeding.
Impressions so far:
I’ve had the most bleeding of any patient Li has had by far. Not totally sure what that’s about, and I’m sad I had to be the first, but the way he responds and handled my case made me SO HAPPY I just spent the money and went with him. No other doctor I've ever had has given me this level of care.
He is expensive, but he is worth EVERY penny because when you’re his patient, you feel like a priority. I traveled for the procedure (meaning 3 weeks away from home) and was really out of my element and comfort zone and had more complications than most of his previous patients (he said about 5% have repeat bleeding after surgery, but that the amount I had was an anomaly.)
My breathing is better, and will continue to improve as I expand. Even with the TPD device in that is taking up most of my palate, I have so. much. more. space for my tongue. It feels really good! My bite is weird now that my upper jaw is larger and that’s going to take some getting used to. And my TMJ is a bit sore.
Things to avoid week 1:
No straws. No vigorous exercise. No lifting over 10lbs. No hot foods/drinks. No hard/chewy foods. No nose blowing. I’d recommend staying away from herbs like garlic or ginger as they thin the blood I don't know if that was part of my problem, he said sometimes these things just happen and there was nothing I did wrong, but I'd just recommend staying away from any foods that can thin the blood and research them ahead of time. I'm vegan, and now I know that a lot of fruits/veg can thin the blood. So if you're veggie like me or try to eat a lot of "health foods" tread carefully. Have lots of gauze on hand.
Ask me anything. I'm here for another 1.5 weeks and am pretty bored. Happy so answer any questions about Dr. Li or EASE!