I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

(Apologies for the length)
So here is mine. I (37M) made the decision, earlier this year, to leave the company I co-founded a few years ago. I've since been re-prioritizing, working out and improving my health, eliminating stressors, and planning my next business moves (basically self-focus). Last Fall I reconnected with a close friend (32F) that I had lost most contact with for a few years.
We used to work together years before and became close quickly and easily. We were always naturally flirty and still are, and one day she opened up about her feelings for me to which I happily reciprocated. This is where the problems began. Reason being that years prior I had gone through about 3 subsequent relationships/situations that destroyed my trust and desire for being vulnerable romantically. I had just given up for the foreseeable future. This reveal from her occurred during this aftermath period and I was unable to process, comprehend, and alleviate doubts/fears appropriately, preventing me from communicating with her about it almost altogether. She persisted and was graciously cool about what I'm sure was confusing to her with my horrible communication abilities at the time. Eventually she moved on and we just remained friends, with her leaving for a new job not long after. She also entered a relationship with a mutual acquaintance soon after that (randomly, not because of our situation). She was happy and growing in her life and I found joy in that but my missteps haunted me since she moved on. I meant the reciprocation but knew then that I couldn't be what she deserved and refused to use her affection for my own happiness. I also knew that I owed her an explanation, as I couldn't stand for her to possibly think I found something wrong or undesirable about her, leading to my actions before. It just never felt appropriate to do while she was seeing someone.
FAST-FORWARD (Don't laugh too hard at that)...
After leaving the job myself and helping start a company and going my own direction, my feelings never waned off but I didn't dwell. Around 4-5 years had passed. I would see her randomly here and there, still in her relationship, and it was always nice. It was apparent she was excited by my presence and always made the effort to share a hug and some time talking. We have an incredibly solid friendship and banter base that will always be around. Despite that, the occasions she would be where I was became scarce and it was back to the usual. During the days leading up to my decision to leave the company, I just needed a trusted friend to talk to. I ran into a mutual friend of mine and hers and during the catch-up they mentioned they had hung out with her recently and that she had ended her relationship. Now, someone in my position would probably relish in that information. I'll admit I wasn't bummed by it. I realized, however, that I more just missed talking to her and felt I should reach out. So I did.
Now we are caught up (It annoys me as well)...
Since last Fall we have been catching up and bantering better than ever and it has been great. The natural flirtation and everything has been there but more in-line with where we are now in life. She had mentioned her breakup during the initial reconnect, but never mentioned anything further from her end nor inquired about my status. We just focused on the stellar conversation and regained contact. I knew my feelings never went anywhere and they just became more enhanced as we kept talking (only via text to this point). I knew the possibility that she was seeing someone else was there but didn't really care. I wasn't much to expect her to consider letting her guard down a second time with me, especially without having spoken about what happened before. After much thought, I made certain I was sure of how I was feeling about myself, her, and the situation and texted her about meeting up. She was very excited to do so and we set up a plan and ended up meeting recently. I was just purely excited to see her again in-person, but the obvious hopes and desires we as people have are always there. I knew part of me would be gauging it all to see where we both stand.
It was a fantastic meet up but she did mention her breakup quite early on and also that she was dating someone currently. It did NOT hit me like bricks or whatever saying applies. It wasn't great to hear for that part of me that was hoping, but I knew it could be a thing going in. The real impact was the reevaluation of much of the previous conversations we had made, with before having no knowledge of her dating someone during so. It never got out of hand, just that natural flirtation and sharing of trusted information that can seem to have dual tonality to them. You just never know until you know. The evening carried on and we kept bonding really well and having a great time as friends (the tone it needed to take). I'll mention that this person is an amazing, generous, loyal, independent, and confident individual that overcame a lot of insecurities in life (like so many of us do or hope to do), and has incredible integrity. She would not intentionally disrespect the person she is dating. One of her many admirable qualities. We continued catching up and relocated to grab a bite to eat. During this portion we bonded on more things and I was finally honest with myself internally that I can't fight the fact that I do, in fact, love this person and it made me excited. I knew though that I had to now have that conversation about what happened in the past, which was long overdue and needed to happen before anything else could be broached.
I promise I'm going to wrap this up (I appreciate your patience if you got this far)...
It was now nighttime and a reasonable time to part ways. I knew my chance was now or never so I inquired if we could park for a second and chat. We did and I just went into it in the best way I could that respected her current situation (I feel too strongly and respect her too much to let my feelings disregard her boundaries). She listened and received it like a total boss, which is no surprise. Luckily it hadn't impacted her too poorly and the new knowledge alleviated any doubt she may have had about herself. I didn't really expect her to even remember it all anyhow. I just had to know she knew what happened and where I stood/stand. Human nature being what it is, I toed the line a few times with my words but I always made sure she knew I meant all due respect and meant it. Some things just build too much pressure when you hold on the them and they eventually get released. She was very reassuring that I was behaving and even revealed new information from her side of it back then and now. She allowed me to express everything I was able to within the boundaries present and was very kind about it. Obviously I had now revealed that I still maintained feelings for her amidst it all. I am not a pro on the subject of attraction, but I'm not an idiot either. The eyes and mouth can speak volumes, and I saw what I'm sure I subconsciously wanted to see. I knew I would run risk of breaching her trust if I persisted too far and I was feeling bad about keeping her out as late as it was, so I asked if I could make a couple inquiries that were appropriately worded. She agreed and I asked if after my idiocy back in the day when she approached me, was that where her feelings for me had stopped. She quickly and softly whispered "No.". I took that in and decided to ask, hypothetically, that if she had no attachments and I were to approach her, would I receive a half-way positive response. She had a slight pause and said "More than half-way.". Despite a heavy desire to explore further, I knew I shouldn't and by happenstance she got a phone call right after this. She said she needed to take it and it was her dad. I stepped out of the car but doing so I happened to notice the name on the dash screen (we had taken her car the the restaurant). I don't know her father personally or know his exact name, but it wasn't the one on the screen. I didn't and likely won't read into that too much, but thought I'd share it in here. Anyway, she handled the call quickly and got out to hug and say our goodbyes. We shared a long hug and exchanged thank yous and then found the opportunity to enact a fake threat of a gentle kidney goosing from some flirty banter a few days prior. She enjoyed it. We then parted ways asking each other to inform of their safe arrival home. Which we did.
So there you have it. Obviously there are many ways to dissect something like this. I feel we both behaved rather well even though I feel a bit of guilt and hope I haven't caused her any undue problems, as she is in a great place in life (mainly because of her personal and professional growth, not necessarily the dating). I also don't regret unburdening myself the way I did. I think we both deserved it for different reasons.
I suppose I'm just curious of your thoughts on it all. I'm doing alright after it all but know the dynamic is different now. She is likely juggling a thought or two just like I am, but we still talk as friends. She is content where she is but I could tell that, if perhaps the timing was different, we wouldn't hesitate to get together. I hold excitement at the thought but will not wait on chance. She is walking her path and me my own. Those paths may indeed converge one day, but her friendship is something I won't gamble away nor would she to mine. It also may never happen. These are the realities.
Thoughts/anybody else out there?
Thank you for your indulgence.

Hello! After a couple years of toying with the idea I'm feeling ready to commit to trying out HES. My intention is to go for a Masters but I'm torn between the Finance and Management tracks.
Background: I'm a Senior Product manager at a household name, highly successful large tech company. I'm on a great team, great product area, and am in the kind of org that has people with 10-20 years tenure, and I'd love to continue moving up into leadership roles. I only hold a BA (English) and got incredibly lucky breaking into a Jr PM role at a startup a couple years out of college. I now have about 8 years experience and a great network.
Goals: My overall goal is to eventually lead product teams, and I've started to find my sweet spot is in the "startup within a large org" kind of situation, where I'm working on brand new, experimental products trying to find product market fit within a legacy platform. I don't have any management experience yet (though have done some formal mentoring). I also don't have any "quant"/"hard" education background, and I'm starting to find that I might benefit from a greater literacy in some combination of strategic business, monetization, and analytics.
Why Finance: Maybe this is a wrong perception, but intuitively I feel like a degree that explicitly focuses in Finance may give me that "quant" edge I'd love to have on my resume. Finance (corporate, investing, even personal) is very interesting to me so I find myself gravitating toward those courses and I have the least background here so feel I stand to learn the most. As I focus on more strategic convos about assessing new product monetization, extracting value, investing in new areas of business, evaluating acquisitions, etc, this is where I feel I lack the most literacy.
Why Management: Seems the overall most customizable/flexible. Perhaps it might be useful to roundout my finance interests with straight up org behavior and leadership type classes to augment manageteam building skills (I think I have natural high EQ and team skills but the formal background could be nice). I think it would more realistic to split the focus this way under the Management masters than the Finance one.
I think my strategy might be to start with an admissions course that applies to either track (perhaps managerial economics) to see if that sways me further. But any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!

First off I want to say I have been one of the defenders of the game, and I'm glad I was, because it's an excellent game now, and it's only going to get better.
The main controversy is of course, exploration.
It's controversial only because people expect certain things from a Bethesda game, like a dedicated world map to explore. And in this game which is brand new IP - there is no world map.
Let's just state that again, because as far as I can tell, it is not sinking in for most people.
Starfield has no world map.
Todd gave an interview recently (Kinda Funny) and Bryan gave an interview near launch (MinMax) and in both those interviews if you listen carefully they said what effectively amounts to exploration not being the priority with Starfield.
Procgen is side content. You are not meant to explore these generic procgen tiles as a replacement for the Boston Commonwealth or Skyrim. It couldn't possibly be that...
If you literally click a random pixel on a planet, generate the procgen tile, then go and painstakingly study every rock on that tile, there is a very good chance (roughly 100%) that you will get bored. Bethesda could not possibly have intended you to do that. My opinion is they let people think it was an exploration game because of corporate pressure from above, it's bad PR if Todd had outright said "it's not an exloration game - stick with Fallout if you want that."
So, if Starfield can be called an exploration game at all (and it's debatable) then here is my (possibly eccentric) interpretation of how exploration is supposed to be done. At this point, I'm going to sound a bit patronizing but I want to be clear I am not insulting anyones intelligence, I also want this to be a mini guide for newbys to the game so they don't get confused and disillusioned like so many have. Bethesda probably made the game too open, but as Todd said in his last interview (Kinda Funny) they "want the game to say yes to you."
Ok, so the main exploration in Starfield is done from the cockpit - except - it's actually done through the menu...
Yeah, you go to the Star Map, click on a random star and jump to it. From there you have a look in your System Map (one level down from Star Map) and you are looking for these little encounter markers on the map. There is a ship, asteroids, sensor contact, hostile activity... Possibly others, and no doubt more will be added. You then fly to it and have the encounter.
Also, if you look at planets and moons, notice some have three dots (...) on them - that means there is a POI on that planet pre populated for you to investigate. Sometimes it is a civilian structure (fracking, outpost), sometimes it is a structure defended by a hostile faction (abondoned weapons lab, etc). You then land at it, take a good look around at the lovely planet tile (and that's it... not spend 16hrs exploring...) go to your POI, murder everyone and go...
So, from that, you can say that it is primarily about space exploration which then potentially advances into on-foot exploration. This approach requires you to self-moderate your gameplay...
Look at it another way. I am not very knowledgable about Sci Fi generally but one show I have watched a lot was Star Trek Next Generation. I think Starfield gameplay is meant to flow like Next Generation...
Picard says "warp to..." there is a cutscene of the ship warping - another of the ship reaching it's destination... The crew member says "sir, our scans show..." - Picard says "hmm... let's investiate - divert power to shields..." cutscene of the ship leaving destination - and of the ship arriving at it's new destination with the encounter in front of them...
If they go down to the surface it's "beam me down..." then when they arrive, you take in the vista of the alien world - but only for a moment - not for 20 hours... otherwise it'll get boring... After they scan or shoot stuff, they say "beam me up" and they are back on the ship drinking boba tea.
So the procgen tile serves the following purposes, in order:
-Visual background for the poi you spotted from space.
-Area for you to build your outpost on.
-Area for surveying.-
-Area for random exploration.
So in my opinion people exploring the tiles were basically "playing it wrong." Now you could come back and say "ahh but Bethesda are the developer, it's is their job to guide the player, etc" I won't argue with any of that. The fact that there was so much controversy certainly implies that Bethesda did something wrong.
But let's look at what they did right? If you like exploring the POI's, and I consider them among Bethesda's best work. Then you can do the above method or even better, take the radiant quests from the Mission Boards and it actually tells you which POI the enemy is occupying. I have a spreadsheet and I'm working my way through the POIs. I take the bounty only if it is situated at a POI that I haven't visited or feel like doing. The POIs are incredibly well designed, in my opinion.
So with all that said, how do I think this system can be improved upon? And as I said, I reject the idea of the game being fundamentally broken - that is just people who wish it was Fallout 4 or Skyrim. They wish they were playing a different type of game. Well, God did not command Bethesda to make pure open-world exploration games centred on a dedicated world map. They made a different type of game, perhaps it requires a different mental approach... I admit, in order to enjoy STarfield I have to self-moderate my play a bit...
Ok, here are my suggestions.
1. Have a fixed position for all the POI's, spread accross the galaxy. So you can definitely find them all.
2. Give all POI's and varients unique names (not simply "Civilian Outpost").
3. Have a compendium, captains log, library - something, to chronicle your exploration.
4. Make it possible to grav-jump without entering the menu, with a hotkey - and be notified if there are encounters.
5. Make ship modules like brig and infirmary work, and fuel costs (already available via mods).
tldr; Starfield is not Fallout. If you are playing it like Fallout - you ARE playing it wrong.

I will often use the Prophet or Brute to sabotage my own team mates. I might even spam and jam with Anders and hogs or if I can manage parking a Cobra on my team mates unbuilt build site, that is cool to.
Now hear me out!...This is something that I do late game(usually) when my team is dominating or toying with the enemy team.
It feels like suddenly the parameters of success have shifted from "destroying the enemy" to "help the other team get a comeback win, or make the game last as long as possible".
Now I know you're thinking "This guy is ruining people's experiences!" Which is true. But anyone who loses usually has a bad experience. Instead think of the experience I am giving these unwitting amateurs who pulled off a win from way behind! IMO their excellent experience outweighs the bad experience for the sweaty tryhards.
I like to sabotage. Am I the bad guy?

I am currently writing a Mafia novel. The premise of my book is how the American Cartel will counter the marginalization of Non-White men by the European Mafias/Mobs.
Here are the names of the characters-

1. Mgengombi Ng’eti (African American male)
   
2. Chikondi Goma (African American male)
   
3. Juma Mohammad (African American male)
   
4. Sambo Kopo (African American male)
   
5. Takeshi Goda (Japanese American male)
   
6. Malachi Cohen (Jewish American male)
   
7. Monty Singh (Indian American male)
   
8. Abdul Kumar (Mestizo American male)
   
9. Illarion Kuzmin (Russian/White male)
   
10. Adrik Vlasov (Russian/White male)
    
11. Shula Shiloh (Jewish American female)
    
12. Nakata Ori (Japanese American female)
    
13. Annabelle McGuire (Mixed White American female)
    
14. Binta Mboob (African American male)
    
15. Kufara Chigwedere (African American female)
    
16. Farai Bulawayo (African American female)
    
17. Priyanka Iyer (Indian American female)
    
18. Claudia Khatun Santos (Mestizo American female)
    

So the name of my characters sound cool?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9240103/

Patterns of Gender-Based Violence in Conflict-Affected Ukraine: A Descriptive Analysis of Internally Displaced and Local Women Receiving Psychosocial Services

Arbitrary Displacement Is a Structural Rot that Hegemonizes Economic Abuse and with it Economic Collapse
Checkpoints for the displaced showed the most violence, literally predating on women when they were the most vulnerable by armed men.
Almost 8% of violent incidents against displaced women occurred at checkpoints or at reception centers for internally displaced persons (IDP) and 20% were perpetrated by armed men.
Majority of Ukrainian female respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%)
A survey of internally displaced persons (IDPs) in Ukraine found that a majority of respondents described their household economic situation as bad or very bad (59%), and only 22% held regular employment (Roberts et al., 2017).
Women fleeing violence are most likely to be exposed to sexually violent men exactly at the moments they were most expecting protection. This suggests a pattern of men who watch for the female victims of their enemies, and then violate them when they come to them, simply out of nationalist/ethnicist hate crime, with no care about their status as a victim.
Meta-analytic findings estimate a 21% prevalence of sexual violence among female refugees and IDPs (Vu et al., 2014).
A 2014 national survey conducted shortly after the start of the conflict found that 19% of 15–49 year old women had experienced violence since the age of 15 compared to 17% in 2007 (Martsenyuk et al., 2014).
Displaced women were more likely to experience sexual violence
Furthermore, we hypothesized that among GBV survivors: 1) proportionally more violent acts against displaced women would be non-domestic and associated with combat operations (i.e., demobilized and active governmental and non-governmental soldiers); 2) displaced women would be more likely to experience sexual violence than local women; and 3) patterns of reporting and referrals would differ depending on a woman’s residency status.
UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013) was used
The adaptation process followed the recommendations of the GBV-IMS Rollout Guidelines (UNFPA, n.d.) and the UN Women’s Framework for emergency response and preparedness (UN Women, 2013), and entailed piloting the tool with several mobile teams and incorporating the feedback from the field.
Definition of internally displaced person
Ukrainian law defines an internally displaced person as “a citizen of Ukraine, a foreigner or a stateless person who is in the territory of Ukraine legally and has the right to reside permanently in Ukraine, and who was forced to leave his place of residence due to armed conflict, temporary occupation, widespread violence, human rights violations or emergencies of natural or man-made nature” (On Ensuring the Rights and Freedoms of Internally Displaced Persons, 2014).
Forced marriage with economic abuse followed with rape and sexual assault
Determination of GBV type was made by mobile team members using the GBV-IMS classification tool (UNFPA et al., 2011). The form instructs providers to select only one GBV type per case based on a series of questions asked in a specific order, as follows: 1) rape (if any type of penetration occurred); 2) sexual assault (if there was unwanted sexual contact); 3) physical assault (if there was physical battery); 4) forced marriage; 5) economic violence (in cases of denial of resources, opportunities, or services); 6) psychological or emotional abuse (if the incident involved insults, name-calling, and humiliation); and 7) no GBV (if none of the above). If, for example, a woman reported experiencing unwanted sexual contact, the provider would classify the case as “sexual assault” and continue to the following section.
One in five women who experienced violence were unemployed, showing these violent perpetrators may keep their victims from employment or sabotage their employment purposefully to put them in harm’s way.
More than one in five (21.6%) women who experienced violence were unemployed, with no differences between the groups. Overall, slightly less than one-third (30.7%) of the women engaged in unpaid labor such as elder and childcare, with significantly higher proportions among local women. Proportionally more displaced women had a professional occupation (24.6% vs. 20.0%, p<0.001).
78.3% of women reported that a man raped them. Half of the women reported psychologically abuse in addition, showing many rapists are psychologically abusive before and after as a tell-tale sign.
More than three-quarters (78.3%) of women reported that a man was the perpetrator. In nearly half of the cases, the perpetrator was an intimate partner (49.5%); and in roughly one in five (21.8%) a family member. Psychological abuse (48.4%) was reported by almost half of the women (See Table 2).
Compared to local women, proportionally more displaced women reported an incident of rape or sexual abuse (3.1% vs. 2.1%, p<0.001) or economic abuse (23.4% vs. 14.4%, p<0.001).
Gender based violence affects one million women annually in Ukraine
GBV is a grave human rights violation that affects an estimated one million women annually in Ukraine (Barrett et al., 2012). Social disruption and frail economic conditions in humanitarian settings further aggravate women’s vulnerability to violence, particularly for displaced women (Stark & Ager, 2011; Stark et al., 2017). This analysis supports our primary hypothesis that the experience of violence differs by survivors’ residency status. Specifically, we found differences in terms of relationship to the perpetrator, type of violence experienced and access to care between local and displaced women.
Checkpoints, or borderlines, nebulous zones of power shifts were huge points of violence to Ukrainian women, showing power shifts are often signaled by violence, especially to the most vulnerable.
Notably, 20.0% of displaced women in our sample experienced violence at the hands of armed men compared to 5.3% of local women. We also found that checkpoints between government-controlled and non-government–controlled areas and IDP reception centers posed a particular risk for displaced women in our study.
38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women, meaning people were actively preying on people who were displaced, not protecting them. This shows Ukrainian women are at huge risk of opportunistic rape by the very men pretending to be safe.
Whereas sexual violence was the least common type of reported violence, 38% more displaced women reported experiencing sexual violence than local women.
Ukrainian women come from a long history of corrupt police, so they did not report to the police because the police do not work for them and never have. That is not their fault; it is their country and area’s fault.
Studies in conflict-affected Ukraine found that a majority of survivors were unwilling to report GBV incidents to the police, particularly among internally displaced women (UCSR, 2018).
Because of this violence around the very people that were supposed to protect them, Ukrainian women are less likely to file a police report. Displaced women were even more unlikely. It is an intelligent decision to not have a faith that has been factually and with evidence violated repeatedly.
we found that displaced women were less than half as likely than local women to have filed a police report.
Younger women seek gender based violence services more than older women, showing Ukrainian women are often being targeted for their fertility and not receiving justice can help them remain to be seen as a fertility commodity instead of a human being, making European countries very wary of the nation seeing how their women are treated. Women's rights feature largely in European economic inclusion.
For example, among GBV survivors in Ukraine, younger women seek services for GBV more often than older women (41% of those aged 15–29 vs. 26% those aged 40–49) (Martsenyuk et al., 2014). Therefore, this analysis is not representative of all women experiencing violence.
Domestic violence within the ranks of the warring country increased during war for Ukrainian women, instead of coming together in solidarity and mutual support
Studies in complex emergency settings have found stigma among GBV survivors, normalization of domestic violence during times of conflict, unwillingness to report men living in the home for fear of forced military recruitment, and reluctance to involve law enforcement as major reporting barriers, especially among displaced women survivors of violence (Ager et al., 2018; Stark & Ager, 2011).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9240103/

Hi, my name is Santiago, I'm a WSDC debater, this weekend we have the CNDE (Campeonato Nacional de Debate Escolar) that is the National Mexican Schools Debating Championship. My team and I need help with 2 prepared motions, that are THW ban electoral polls during campaigns periods and TH as a Mexican University would allocate the budget to social and economic innovation projects (for example, renewable energy cooperatives) over technological innovation projects (for example robotics or automotive). I'd love if anyone can give us advice. Thanks :)

Boys: York, Reys, Royce, Andres Girls: Catalina, Santana, Dakota, Herrera (maybe).

Hi,
This question is for those repped by a manager and those repped by an agent, sans manager.
I'm in a weird position where I'm coming to LA in a couple months to meet a few agents. My entertainment lawyer referred me to them and it's just a series of generals but my lawyer feels I'll end up repped. He said he doesn't feel that I need a lit manager.
I haven't been making a bunch of cash, I have some scripts optioned and a movie being filmed later this year or early next year, I'll be the assistant director on set too which is cool.
I've never had a general with a lit manager, I've sent a few queries and got some reads a couple years ago. A manager said my writing was excellent, he scheduled a Zoom with me then cancelled last minute and never rescheduled (this was not fantastic for my imposter syndrome lol). So, it makes me wonder if I need a manager or not? John August and Craig Mazin are kinda anti managers but they are old school and a lot of people rave about their managers.
I think it would be good to at least have a coffee Zoom with a few managers. I really gel with the tips John Zaozirny posted on X (Twitter at the time) John's tips so maybe a manager would be a great part of the team?
I'm not entering comps anymore so I'm not sure how I can query a manager until my movie comes out? I guess I could query the logline on my next script. Should I just wait for the movie to be made and wait for managers to make contact or should I just keep on chugging without a manager and hopefully snag an agent?
Thank you, much appreciated!

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Hello again everybody!
Before we get started on today's post the current voting for Carbink currently has Abstaining votes with a bit of a lead over the next highest amount of votes (which is C tier). There is still time to vote however, if you haven't voted on that one yet you can find a link to the post in the comments on the post linked below or by sorting the SubReddit by the Tiering/Voting tag!
Unless something changes however it looks like Carbink will likely go back on to the radar list for a future vote. Like with all previous votes I'll continue to check the numbers and if anything changes I'll update it on tomorrow's post.
(Please note that this voting/tiering is centered around Classic mode as after a certain point in Endless only about 5 Pokemon and 2 abilities are truly viable.)
So current tiers are:
S tier - Garganacl, Cloyster, Skeledirge, Gholdengo, Tinkaton
A tier - Gyarados/Mega, VenusauMega/Dyna, Aegislash, Corviknight/Dyna, Excadrill, GardevoiMega, Toxapex
B tier - Kanto-Persian/Dynamax Kanto-Meowth, Weavile, Starmie, Rhyperior, Quagsire, Mamoswine
C tier - Linoone
F tier - Dustox
With that being said let's get to today's vote!
Today is day 27 of tier voting and today we'll be talking about the funky rock 'n' roll lizard from Generation 8 that was the signature Pokemon of the gym leader who was part of a band and said no words during his solo lol. Toxtricity is fairly popular and well-known for its signature ability which synergizes very well with its moveset. Toxtricity has an interesting and unique typing that only it and its pre-evolution have claim to. While it does have a 4x weakness to Ground both of its types are strong types offensively and give it immunity to 2 status conditions which means it certainly can find ways to fit onto a team. It has a pretty solid stat spread in its base form and it also has the benefit of most of its strongest moves being spread moves making it a strong choice for double battles. This game gives it several gifts including a very good passive to go along with one of its strongest moves, as well as some really good egg moves that synergize with its signature ability even further and a super good stat spread for its Dynamax form.
(Please note that Pokemon with Mega/Dynamax evolutions will be tiered as one Pokemon and not tiered separately for their Mega/Dynamax form. Different variants such as Alolan Persian vs. Kanto Persian will be tiered separately however.)
(Also here is the post with rules for voting/tiering posts and a little more explanation about them in general: https://www.reddit.com/pokerogue/s/0LNZhPPzR9 Links to past votes can all be found here as well in comments added to the OP with each new vote)
And here is a quick reminder of what each tier generally means:
S tier: Top tier, can make or break your entire run, essentially the cream of the crop
A tier: really strong but not quite top tier, maybe slightly outclassed or has a slight weakness holding it back
B tier: solid choices that can make it to your endgame team, might be reliant on team composition to truly function well or might just be outclassed as well
C tier: usually early-mid game Mons, ones you don't really want to take to end game if you can avoid it, usually pretty decently glaring weakness but something redeeming enough to keep from F tier
F tier: no reason to use in end game unless you're doing it for a meme/joke
Abstain/No Opinion: this will be a voting option mostly just in case someone accidentally votes and then can't remove their vote (I've noticed that happens on Reddit sometimes) or for Pokemon people haven't unlocked/used to their full potential yet. If Abstaining votes outvote each individual tier then the Pokemon will be tabled for the time being and another vote will open up for it later (can mostly see this happening with Legendaries).
(Data in parentheses is for the Dynamax form)
[Also worth noting Toxtricity base form has 2 different forms it evolves into based on its nature. The only difference between these forms is its secondary ability and one of the moves it learns by level-up though, so I will put these brackets around the 2 moves and abilities. Both forms have the same Dynamax form]
*
Toxtricity (Dynamax)
Type: Electric/Poison
Mega: No
Dynamax: Yes
Starter cost {Toxel}: 3
Possible Egg moves: Nasty Plot, Baneful Bunker, Sparkling Aria, Torch Song
Abilities: Punk Rock or [Plus or Minus]
Hidden Ability: Technician
Passive Ability: Galvanize - Turns this Pokemon's Normal-type attacks into Electric-type attacks and boosts the power of Electric type attacks by 20%
Evolution: Toxel evolves into either Amped form or Low-Key form Toxtricity at level 30 depending on its nature. Toxtricity can Dynamax with Dynamax bracelet and Max Mushrooms
Base stats:
HP - 75 (95)
Attack - 98 (118)
Defense - 70 (80)
Sp. Attack - 114 (144)
Sp. Defense - 70 (80)
Speed - 75 (85)
Learnset by level up: Acid, Acid Spray, Belch, Flail, Growl, Leer, Noble Roar, Nuzzle, Tearful Look, Thunder Shock, Charge, Shock Wave, Scary Face, Taunt, Screech, Swagger, Discharge, Poison Jab, Overdrive, Boomburst, Spark, [Shift Gear or Magnetic Flux]
Notable TMs: Protect, Metal Sound, Thief, Trailblaze, Charge Beam, Facade, Swift, Hex, Snarl, Stored Power, Venoshock, Volt Switch, Sunny Day, Rain Dance, Brick Break, Fire Punch, Thunder Punch, Rest, Sleep Talk, Drain Punch, Thunder Wave, Toxic Spikes, Eerie Impulse, Gunk Shot, Hyper Voice, Thunderbolt, Wild Charge, Sludge Bomb, Thunder, Power-Up Punch, Screech, Sludge Wave, Throat Chop
*
Tomorrow's vote: GengaMega GengaDynamax Gengar!
Pokemon on the radar for voting very soon: Aggron/Mega, Comfey, Crobat, Ferrothorn, Gliscor, Delphox, Roserade, Vileplume, Minior, Hitmonchan, Bibarel, Whimsicott, Chandelure, Archaludon/Dynamax Duraludon, Alakazam/Mega, Infernape, Flamigo, Volcarona, Alolan-Decidueye, Barbaracle, Butterfree/Dyna, Beedrill/Mega, Mawile/Mega, Drednaw/Dyna, Annihilape, Cramorant, Aerodactyl/Mega, Glimmora, Heatran, Tapu Koko, Dialga/Primal, Galarian-Zapdos, Regieleki, Regidrago, Zacian, Zamazenta, Rayquaza/Mega, Latias/Mega, Latios/Mega, Ho-Oh, Volcanion, Cinccino, Snorlax/Dyna, Wishiwashi
(Other requests will be added to this list and this list is not necessarily in order)
Happy voting!
View Poll

I went on a walk earlier today and was having a conversation that turned to the facets of success that the Zen tradition has over, well, everyone else. Here's me putting some organization to aspects of the conversation that we touched upon.

1000 Years of Recorded Conversation

This number is not an exageration or hyperbole, but a reasonable approximation of the longevity of the Zen conversation.
The earliest records of Zen conversation aka. Dharma combat aka. koans aka public cases we have come from Dunhuang and involve an heir to Bodhidharma named "Yuan" which places them sometime around the middle of the 6th century. Here's an excerpt:

6th Century

Dharma Master Chih saw Dharma Master Yuan on the street of butchers.
Dharma Master Chih asked, "Do you see the butchers slaughtering the sheep?
Dharma master Yuan said, "My eyes are not blind. How could I not see them?"
Dharma master Chih said, "Master Yuan, you are saying you see it!"
Master Yuan said, "You are seeing it on top of seeing it!"

The thread of Zen conversation continues on in these records. Some of these texts come from the conversations that dedicated record-keepers transcribed or unnamed Preceptors copied down and were later compiled. These records of Zen conversation were themselves annotated and conversed with by Zen Masters in subsequent generations thereby producing monumental books of instruction and practical guidance like Wansong's Book of Serenity, Wumen's Gateless Checkpoint, or Linquan's Empty Valley Collection.
Following the desolation and plunder wrought on by the Mongol invasion, the restrictive religious policies imposed by the Buddhists, and the subsequent rise of milleniarian cults with their own quasi-theocratic social agenda, the Zen conversation starts to fade in China.
We have records in China extending to around 1400. The aptly named translation by Cleary entitled "Zen Under the Gun" is evidence of this. The following is an excerpt from a Zen Master that came from Korea to study under a Chinese Zen Master and would carry on the tradition of preaching the Zen dharma to Emperor's.

14th Century

In 1347, on the sixth day of the third month, the emperor of the Great Yuan invited T'aego to Fengen, serving the Imperial Benevolance Zen Temple. After salutations to his majesty, T'aego went up to the teaching hall, pointed to the main temple gate, and said:
"The Great Path has no gate: where do all of you people intend to enter it? Bah! The universal gate of perfect penetration is wide open."
At the buddha shrine T'aego said: "Two thousand years ago, I was you. Two thousand years later, you are me. It has almost leaked out."
Then he bowed three times.

Almost.

1000 Years of Agro-Academe Egalitarian Communes

Agro-Academe

The Zen records are famous for taking place almost entirely on large agricultural complexes where agricultural as well as scholarly work were the lifeblood of maintaing the communities self-sufficiency. While this aspect of the Zen tradition had gone almost entirely unremarked upon in the Zen records due to its sheer normalcy it very much stands in contrast to the economic and social systems of organization that have risen (and fallen) throughout the rest of the world such as Manorialism, Serfdom, Capitalism, and Communism.
The agricultural aspects of the Zen communes are evidenced in the countless cases that take place in the context of the community engaged in performing agricultural work and the academic aspects of the communes are evidenced both in the cases involving someone reading something, referencing something they read, asking about something they read, as well as the countless literary and historical references that Zen Masters weave into the books of instruction.
The academic-LITERATE aspect of Zen communities has been deliberately misrepresented by Dogenists that cannot handle writing at a high school level about anything Zen Masters said despite claiming affiliation. It's a really sore subject for them.

Egalitarian

Zen Masters: No sexism. No racism. No special authorities in funny hats.
Foyan:

If one says, “I understand, you do not,” this is not [Zen]. If one says, “You understand, I do not, “ This is not [Zen] either. In the Teachings it says, “This truth is universally equal, without high or low—this is called unexcelled enlightenment.” My perception is equal to yours, and your perception is equal to mine.

Unlike religious traditions such as Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam (to name a few...) there is no tradition in Zen of affirming a belief in the "spiritual inferiority" of women or asserting that they should conform themselves to any fixed role in social relations with men.
The dharma-interviews involving women Zen Masters are some of the most intense and edge-of-your-seat one's out there. The one's we have translated records of are:

• Iron Grinder Liu
  
• Miaozong
  
• Mrs. Pang
  
• [Unnamed old women]
  

The failure of women's Zen voices to be preserved in equal proportion to their male counterparts they were engaged with is almost entirely due to the larger social mileau of sexism and erasure of women in non-subserviant roles from the public records that an extremely patriarchial society like China pursued with zeal at the time.

Commune

Unlike the phony kind of "work" of repeating religious apologetics, playing dress-up, or saying a few words over corpses that Priests while charging money from the faithful day-in, day-out--everyone in the Zen communities labored alongside everyone else and Zen Masters made a point of it to not exempt themselves from that.
The famous "No work, no eat" comes from Baizhang. It's nothing revolutionary in the context of Zen, but it sets the world on fire for just about everybody else.

Baizhang, the Chinese Zen master, used to labor with his pupils even at the age of eighty, trimming the gardens, cleaning the grounds, and pruning the trees. The pupils felt sorry to see the old teacher working so hard, but they knew he would not listen to their advice to stop, so they hid away his tools.
That day the master did not eat. The next day he did not eat, nor the next. "He may be angry because we have hidden his tools," the pupils surmised. "We had better put them back."
The day they did, the teacher worked and ate the same as before. In the evening he instructed them: "No work, no food."

1000 Years of Stability

As an undercurrent to the Zen conversation are certain...lifestyle choices...that everyone has to observe before they can meaningfully participate. They're choices that everyone already recognizes are necessary in certain contexts and lifestyles that are overwhelmingly associated with healthy outcomes in those observing them consistently. The undercurrent to conversation in Zen is known as the "Lay" Precepts.
Lay Precepts:

1. No lying
   
2. No stealing
   
3. No murder
   
4. No abuse of sex.
   
5. No intoxicating.
   

Observing this stuff won't neccesarily make anyone rich, famous, sexy, or funny. But that isn't anything Zen promises anyone to begin with anyway.
In their tradition, observing these kept the conversation flowing for a thousand years.
Why would anyone come to /Zen just to avoid talking about Zen?

Is it too much to ask that this makes it onto the channel but that my family doesn't realize it's me?
Probably, but here we go.
Who: my mom (Padme), my brother (Bob), my sister-in-law (Helen), my aunt (Cindy), my uncle (Charlie), my cousin (Mary), my dad (Vader), and me
When: between 2020 and 2022
Where: the beach and the mountains
What: a wedding
Why: true love ❤️
Our story goes way back to before the wedding in 2022 but after the engagement of Bob and Helen in 2020. It starts in 2021 on a week long vacation to the beach for Padme's 50th birthday. We were staying in a very picturesque condo with 3 separate bedrooms that had direct beach access and the unit was absolutely beautiful with the most amazing views off the patio. On this vacation were 6 people: Padme, Bob, Helen, Cindy, Mary, and me. We were roomed in pairs: Bob and Helen, Cindy and Mary, Padme and me. This vacation had been planned months in advance and Padme was so excited she planned out a week of fun activities including a sunset cruise to see dolphins, mini golfing, restaurants, of course beach time, and more.
It was supposed to be a lovely week that was unfortunately marred very quickly by a nasty fight. We arrived late on a Friday and were scheduled to be out by the following Friday. Sunday night after dinner there was a massive argument between Helen and I. I don't even remember all the details now. It ended when she called me a brat and I called her a b**** and we stormed off to our separate rooms. From here there are 2 versions of the rest of the night.
Padme's Version: While I had a massive panic attack - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Padme went to the bedroom where Bob and Helen were. She tried to talk to them and tell Helen that she was been very mean to me. She implored Helen to apologize to me, but Helen was being stubborn and refused to talk to me. Padme eventually left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
Helen's Version: While I had a massive panic attach - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Padme went to the bedroom where Bob and Helen were. Helen says that Padme started screaming at her and Bob calling them all sorts of nasty names and other terrible things. She even accused Helen of being an abusive person. Meanwhile, Bob was having an epileptic seizure on the bed due to the stress of it all. Helen started crying and having a panic attack of her own as well. Eventually, Padme left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
I believe that there is some truth in both. I think Padme thinks she was talking nicely and that Helen was been a hard a** but she was coming across a lot louder and meaner than she thought. I also think that Helen was being a little stubborn but for good reason. If she had come out to talk to me I think the fight would have escalated further and the place would have burst into a ball of flames.
Regardless, Helen and Bob stayed in their room for the next day and a half. They only came out for food and water and didn't speak to anyone else. Cindy and Mary tried to stay out of it but were very much in the middle and it put a bad stain on their vacation. Things cooled off by Wednesday (Padme's birthday) and we all got along mostly for the rest of the week. I apologized to Helen and Helen apologized to me and we've been good since then. Sadly, the same is not true for Helen, Bob, and Padme.
Throughout the following months things continued to deteriorate between the Parr's (Helen and Bob) and Padme. I don't know all of the details of what contributed to the downfall of their relationship. I do know that Padme continued to make wild accusations at them and then backtrack and try to apologize. This cycle continued up until the wedding.
There was one big accusation that Padme made during this time that was the nail in the coffin for her. She accused Bob of marrying Helen only because she was pregnant. What's absolutely crazy about this is that Bob proposed a year and half before the wedding. They also had their location and date reserved over a year before the wedding as well. So this wasn't even close to being a possibility, but it reallyyyyyy set off the Parrs.
While Padme initially got a Save the Date for the wedding, she did not receive a wedding invitation when they sent out the actual invitations. She was crushed by this news that everyone else in the family got an invitation and she, the mother of the groom, did not. Padme eventually started to tell those in the family who were going - primarily Cindy and her husband Charlie, Vader, and I - that we shouldn't be going in solidarity with her. She said that we were "choosing sides" and "against her" because we still planned on going.
Here's the thing: Vader - my dad - was officiating the wedding and Charlie - Cindy's husband - was a groomsman. Also, Cindy and Charlie were supplying their homemade wine for the wedding. This left Cindy and I in a tricky spot where we wanted to support Padme while she was going through a rough time, but didn't want to skip the wedding. After all, why should we forfeit our spots when Padme kept doing things to dig herself a hole.
Are you ready for the cherry on top of this putrid mess of a wedding cake? Helen and Bob did end up inviting Padme to the wedding and sent an invitation. But they did so 2 weeks before the wedding with some stipulations. She had to sit in the back during the ceremony, she wasn't allowed to go to the reception, and her 28 year old boyfriend was not allowed to come. I think there were other things as well, but those are the main ones. This sent Padme into a frenzy where she continued to make more accusations at the Parrs for having the restrictions and not trusting her to behave. She also continued to accuse Cindy and I for taking sides after their "disgusting behavior."
I tried to talk the Parrs into inviting her and at least allowing her to come to the reception. I promised I wouldn't allow anything to happen and if something did I would take Padme out. All this to no avail.
Padme decided not to go the wedding. Her reason: she already had other plans.
At the end of the day though, it was a beautiful wedding. Everything went smoothly and though Cindy and I missed her quite a bit, we were able to have a wonderful time despite her absence.
I still stand by my choice to go to the wedding because it's not like me not going would stop the whole wedding. Nothing would have changed other than I miss out on a fun party. However, I want to know what you guys think. Should I have gone? Should I have done something more to try to support my mom?

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According to their Quarterly Report submitted to the US Securities and Exchange Commission filed on the 10th of May.

We have an APA with the Commonwealth of Australia (“Australia”) for the purchase of doses of COVID-19 Vaccine (the “Australia APA”). In November 2023, we filed with the Therapeutic Goods Administration (“TGA”) for authorization for our updated vaccine. Based on subsequent communication from the TGA that it will not recommend approval of the filing as submitted and new data and information generated since that filing, we are evaluating the regulatory path for approval, including the potential to withdraw the filing for authorization, update with new data and information, and resubmit in the coming months. In March 2024, we and Australian agreed to cancel the COVID-19 Vaccine doses previously scheduled for delivery in the fourth quarter of 2023. As a result of the cancellation, the total contract value was reduced by $54.0 million, including $6.0 million of deferred revenue related to the cancelled doses that will be applied as a credit towards future deliveries of doses. We are working with Australia on an amendment to the APA that addresses performance obligations and future delivery schedules.

looks like they're assessing to pull and retry or try again later this year with the next variant, leaving Australia without a non-mRNA alternative.
https://app.quotemedia.com/data/downloadFiling?webmasterId=101533&ref=318308493&type=HTML&symbol=NVAX&cdn=1a137f3a5225ac08f0e41c25d4d7d292&companyName=Novavax+Inc.&formType=10-Q&dateFiled=2024-05-10

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