Promo letter artist

Korean Hip Hop and R&B

2012.12.20 20:36 EunByuL Korean Hip Hop and R&B

Korean Hip Hop and R&B Join us on Discord at https://discord.gg/khiphop
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2008.01.25 05:30 r/Music

Reddit’s #1 Music Community
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2012.07.22 13:32 omasque A subreddit for commissions!

Artists/writers/musicians/animators/etc. can advertise their services/commissions here. Buyers can request specific things they'd like to buy. A few reminders: ❥ All [For Hire] posts must state a price. ❥ All [Hiring] posts must state a budget. ❥ Do not post more than one [For Hire] post per 24 hours. See the side bar for clarification and details!
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2024.05.15 07:56 jacksfable5 Should I request some days of Remote Working

This is also a bit of a rant as well as a question.
But I have requested to work from home due to having epilepsy and it got rejected as it’s not in my contract to be able to. My manager also said I knew I had the disability when applying, which I actually didn’t as it wasn’t diagnosed at that point and I was awaiting EEG results and my doctor didn’t think I actually had it until the results came back. However, some people in the office are allowed to work remotely due to it being in their contracts from before I started and some even have the option because they live at least a 30min drive away.
Currently I have to get a 10minute bus ride, a 20min train journey and then a 20min walk to get to my office due to not being able to drive yet, however I will be able to in the next couple of months after consultation with my dr.
My dr said they can provide a letter to take to my manager who can then take this further but my manager isn’t the type to ruffle feathers and is known for this. But do I have a right to get a letter to try and secure at least 2 days of remote working? I do prefer working in the office, but I’ve read that stress as well as sitting in office lights/working on a large screen (as I’m a graphic artist) could potentially trigger something, even if my meds currently control me.
Would I be being unreasonable or difficult if I do request this again? Do I have a right to?
submitted by jacksfable5 to Epilepsy [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 06:45 Skaared Seeking Suggestions on a Framing Solution

Hello framing!
I'm looking for a solution to a interior design problem and I'm hoping the experts here can point me in the right direction.
I have a gift from my childhood from my late uncle that I'd like to protect and preserve for the future. It's a large poster of Superman with foil detailing that he sent when I was a baby and he was in prison back in the 80s. On the back of the poster is a short lettededication from said uncle. When I was a child it didn't mean much to me but now than I'm older and I understand the act of will it must have taken to send such a gift during such a dark time, I recognize how special it is. I'd always assumed it was some kind of kit but I haven't been able to find the poster online. My uncle was a pretty talented artist so it's possible the image is hand drawn.
Unfortunately, the paper and adhesive binding the edges has been fraying for years now. I'm looking for a way to protect the poster and display it in my office. Since there's two sides that I want to be accessible, I'd like something that can lay flat against the wall or be pulled away from the wall on a swivel for viewing the other side.
I considered something like this (https://displays4sale.com/cdn/shop/files/TTR498secondimagecopy\_600x.jpg?v=1687791772) but it doesn't look like the swivel turns 180 degrees.
submitted by Skaared to framing [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 04:14 MaximumApartment8576 first roo & looking for friends, buddies & pals !!! (long post lol)

hello friends!!! as the title states, this year will be my first bonnaroo and i’m going solooo💃🏼 so i wanna make friends!! i figured here might be a good place to start lol.
i originally had the idea of possibly finding penpals through this subreddit (i.e. exchanging messages here, some emails and then actual handwritten letter penpals ahahaha). unfortunately this idea came kinda late into the game seeing as we are only a month away from the fest.
sooo i was thinking if anyone was interested, we could still be email penpals and then meet up at bonnaroo once we’re there!? orrr if anyone camping in the beyond is interested, we could set up camp together!??
a lil be about me: - i am 24 at the time of writing this, but i will be 25 by bonnaroo (birthday is this saturday!!!🥳) - i go by she/they pronouns; i am a seasoned vet in the alphabet soup community🫡 i just don’t go by any labels, honestly they scare me lol. feels like i’m putting myself in a box that i never fit quite right into - for my astrology girliessss: i am a taurus sun, cancer moon, leo rising 🌞 - i have too many hobbies & could never name them all but the biggest ones: painting, kayaking, hiking, attending concerts/shows, photography, writing/poetry, stargazing, laying in bed with my cats & dog - i think the best way to describe me as a person is hippie dippy redneck, with two scoops of rock n roll & a sprinkle of headbanging basshead
things i’m looking forward to most about roo: - setting up my camp to look super cute, i already have a bunch of decorations saved that i gotta order soon lol - experiencing a camping festival for the first time - i have some vvv cute outfits planned !!! - the line up goes crazy?!!?! (artists i would like tk see in no particular order: post malone, grouplove, megan thee stallion, svdden death, ashnikko, chappell roan, red hot chili peppers, t-pain, and so many more but i don’t feel like typing that much LOL) - so. many. things.
if you’re still here after reading the mini novel that is this post, pls be my friend 😂😭
submitted by MaximumApartment8576 to bonnaroo [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 03:13 Tree_Of_Palm A (admittedly flawed) theory about the identity of Madame X, as well as an additional crack theory that I made while sleep deprived. (Spoilers for the entire game)

Ok this is gonna be a very long, rambling, and probably somewhat disorganized post, so please bear with me.
I'm sure other people have had this same idea as well, but I'm not subscribed to the rebornevo forums and I'm not very active on this subreddit either, so I don't know how frequently it's been discussed outside of the small number of times I've seen it on Twitter, which still was after I had the thought when I first played V12 years ago. Even if it is I still wanted to try and organize my thoughts about it and present all of the evidence that brought me to think this even without engaging much with the larger community.
To jump right into it, the theory that I've been subscribing to for a pretty long time and was very confident in (until realizing some flaws with it) is that Madame X is the incarnation of Nymiera from Maria(nette)'s now dead universe, which is likely the same universe that Clear, Kieran, and potentially the Thunder Warrior Tapu Koko are from. She was defeated by her universe's Indriad but somehow managed to escape with her life, albeit badly injured, and was effectively out of commission, which led to Indriad eventually being able to bring about Storm 9 which would eventually lead to the end the world. Nymiera then likely got help from either her world's Xara and Jean, or Clear and Kieran themselves to construct her suit and escape to the next universe.
There's quite a few reasons I have to think this. I feel like a ton of evidence from throughout the game supports the idea, and I've been making note of them for years at this point. This is gonna be a bit meandering, but it's really difficult to organize thoughts about a plot as complicated as Rejuv's even if you're focusing on only one character, so again please bear with me:
Essentially, the image I see with this is a Nymiera who became so disgusted at her own failures that she threw everything away, including her old identity, and and decided the best way to create a good world was to tear everything down and rebuild it herself, taking her belief in "The good of the many" to its furthest extreme and becoming a vengeful and bitter person in the process. She keeps "protecting" the Interceptor in hopes that their own quest will eventually guide them to resetting everything and destroying Karma for good.
However... in the process of thinking through this all over the last couple days, I realized several holes in this theory that I have to acknowledge, and keep it from really being an effective one.
First, if Nymiera is the avatar of Xerneas, then why is Madame X only ever seen using a Yveltal?
Second, the one aspect of Madame X's backstory story that she elected to reveal to us is about her mother. In her own words, "My "mother" was a weak individual who gave her life to protect me". Not only does Nymiera never hint at anything remotely similar this, but none of Adrest, Variya, or any of the files Adrest sends to Erin hint at anything even remotely close to this for Nymiera.
Third, which I think is the biggest issue: when we see Madame X's mask get broken by Sakitron at the pyramid, what little we see of her appearance doesn't exactly match up with Nymiera. What appears to be black hair could also just be a broken piece of her mask, her eyes are a bright red, and even though we barely see any skin, it visibly is not as dark as Nymiera's.
The first point is actually pretty easy to explain: the Yveltal is Indriad. Obviously we don't know how Indriad became a Yveltal, but there is precedent for shit like this happening and there's multiple hints towards it:
The other two though... I think more or less disprove the theory. Family-related trauma is already one of the game's biggest theme; if Nymiera had something related to her mother, it would have been made clear by this point. And there's just no way that I can think of to really justify the drastic difference in appearance between the two. I could simply handwave it and say "The differences in appearance are either a spriting error or a lighting thing with her helmet" and "We just haven't learned about Nymiera's mother yet", but both of those would just be copout answers to ignore.
I'm still confident that I'm onto something here and there is a connection between these two characters, but can't confidently say that I think I'm 100% correct.
...so instead I came up with a crackpot theory that nonetheless I think has a nonzero chance of being true, although its much less likely .
Madame X isn't an alternate universe Nymiera. She's an alternate universe Nim.
Is it a stupid assertion? Yes. But hear me out, starting with some of the more minor points:
There's three main reasons I think there actually is something here though: Nim's physical appearance, Madame X's "mother", and the reason Madame X needs her suit despite it making her weaker.
First: Nim's physical appearance is extremely similar to Madame X's under her mask. As Lorna, we can see that her pupils have a red hue very similar to Madame X's. Looking at both Nim's sprites and her official art, her skin tone is lighter than Nymiera's but still darker then most of the rest of the cast, which also lines up with the broken mask. Finally, assuming Madame X actually has black hair and that's not just a broken part of her mask in the sprite, Nim's hair is the same color.
Second: When Madame X mentions her "Mother", its quoted, presumably for air quotes. While it could just be her disrespecting her "Mother", it feels far more significant than that, like its moreso implying that whoever she's talking about wasn't her mother in the traditional sense. Madame X also states that the difference between her "Mother"'s sacrifice and the player's mom's sacrifice is that the player's mom's didn't matter; thus indirectly implying that Madame X's mom's sacrifice was important even if she looks down upon her mom for it. Assuming that Nymiera shares some connection to Nim- be it that Nymiera created her, Nim is her reincarnation, or something else- it's not unreasonable to think that Nim, after overcoming her memory issues, could view Nymiera as something of a mother figure, especially considering that Nim took her name Nymiera's because she felt a connection.
Third: The suit. There's a very obvious reason that Nim would need a suit to suppress her own power: to keep herself from draining the life force of her subordinates and stop her own Storm from getting out of control. It's a leap, sure, but it would explain why she needs a suit that actively inhibits her.
Why would Nim be doing all of this, and how would she become such a cruel and vengeful person? We see something similar happen to our own Nim through Clear's manipulation through preying on her fears and insecurities. Assuming bad enough shit happened to her, I could absolutely see an alternate universe Nim who lacked the support of characters like Aelita, Melia, and the Player going down this path.
Is this theory accurate? Probably not, but it was really fun to think about. I never fucking know what's gonna happen with this game which is why it's so fun to speculate about the absolute mess of lore that it has.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this massive ramble, it was fun to write and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!
submitted by Tree_Of_Palm to PokemonRejuvenation [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 01:46 knockerocker Donald Glover: “Everybody is going to become a director, and everybody should be a director.”

Donald Glover was on Google’s promo video for Veo, their AI video generation, where he comments that generative AI—specifically Google’s VEO—will allow everyone to tell each other their stories. Quote:
“Everybody is going to become a director, and everybody should be a director. At the heart of all of this is just storytelling. The closer we are to telling each other our stories, the more we’ll understand each other.”
I think we can safely assume “artist” applies as well for non-motion art.
Video: https://youtu.be/dKAVFLB75xs
submitted by knockerocker to DefendingAIArt [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 23:47 ValleyOfWisteria Username/handle ideas?

I’m not very creative when it comes to usernames. I’ve tried looking for inspiration by scrolling through artists on IG and TikTok, but all the usernames I’ve found are just a bunch of random letters and numbers and words that don’t make sense.
I’m not entirely sure what kind of username that I want but I definitely want it to be creative and readable.
I don’t really wanna use my name or nickname, but maybe a shortened version of my nickname, Pip.
I want the username to just be two or three words and not too long.
Just so you get the idea of the kind of username I’m looking for, here are some good examples: AnElderlyMeme, Cheesiiee, CreativeSinning, etc (those are the only good examples that I can find)
Basically all words, no random letters or numbers.
The words I’m thinking of using are: Ghost, Honey, Cloud, Feather, water, rain, moon, etc
And art related words like: Art, Paint/ed, Brush, Canvas, etc
I want to use the username to make a good picture watermark as well.
:)
submitted by ValleyOfWisteria to ArtistLounge [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 23:22 britsohotsauce Looking for penpals friends for an incarcerated friend

Looking for penpals friends for an incarcerated friend
“What's Up everyone , As you see my names Jonathan, I'm 32, I'm an Aries,and for the most part down to earth. I'm an Artist in general but specialize in drawing and tattooing. I love to work out and read. I'm a father of 4 girls 🙂! I have 2 Degrees in Liberal arts and English Lit. I'm a rare person given my situation. I am looking for good vibes and chill conversation. I have a few penpals, but really looking for real friendships and connections. I am social kinda,I'm looking for genuine people. Im trying to stay positive and need positivity around me ya know? So if your trying to catch a vibe or a laugh hmu! I have references haha jk! If you wish to know more about me or wish to talk you can ask me anything, I'm an open book! But easiest way to contact me is Securus Email. Or you can write and I will write back of course. Or inbox your number and I'll call, I'm In solitary at the moment! But my DOC for Securus is 398978, and im at Washington State Penitentiary in Wa. Hope to hear from you soon 🙂 ! Have a Blessed day!

NoDrama”

For direct contact 📨 Use Securus Info for new users: ¹ visit securustech.net to make an account ² download Securus app from app store and log in to your account ³ Enter contact ID: 398978 > select Washington > select Washington State Department of Corrections > submit and click on my name and add to your contacts ⁴ purchase stamps and begin emailing/texting
If you'd like to write handwritten letters 📬: Johnathan Buttrom #398978 Monroe correctional center Sou a207 Po box 514 Monroe wa 98272
submitted by britsohotsauce to Prisonpenpalworldwide [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 21:58 Euphoric-Earth-4765 An inside look at the culture and ideology of Faith Comes By Hearing PART 1

If you are thinking about working at or if you are thinking about donating to Faith Comes By Hearing/Hosanna [https://www.faithcomesbyhearing.com](https://www.faithcomesbyhearing.com/) you should consider the following. Having worked at Faith Comes By Hearing myself for decades, you should be aware of their culture and ideology. (Arranged from most important to least.)

\*Treatment of the Bible:

Grammatical, historical and cultural context as well as literary genre are all ignored by top management. So, Scripture is often misquoted and misused:

Ignoring basic, common sense guidelines, rules for interpreting the Bible results in misinterpreting, misunderstanding, and misapplying the Bible. Management ignores the fact that observation (what the text says) must always come before interpretation (what the text means); and interpretation always comes before application (how the text applies to me). They do not consider the Bible text objectively first: They treat the text subjectively or relatively or assume what the passage text means. And they ignore the fact that a text cannot mean today what it never could have meant to the original authors and original readers. Exegesis is often contrasted with “eisegesis”; the Greek preposition εἰς means “into,” and hence eisegesis means reading your own meaning into the text. Bible study is not reading your personal theology into some biblical passage. Bible study is letting the text talk to us; we are the listeners, not the talkers. Many Christians just want to know what the Bible “means to me.” If you stop to think about it, this just is not possible. We must do the hard work of learning the author’s original meaning first, and without that we can’t ever know “what it means to me.” A text cannot mean what it never meant.

\*Feelings and experiences rule:

There is a focus by top management on personal experiences and feelings instead of a studied period of reflection: Emotional, simple, popular teaching instead of intellectually careful and doctrinally precise teaching. Bible studies go straight to the question, “What does this passage mean to me?” while bypassing the prior question, “What does the passage say and why do I think my interpretation is correct?” Management promotes and allows employees to get away with applying an understanding of a passage that is based on vague feelings or first impressions and not on the hard work of reading the context, verifying with commentaries and using study tools such as concordances, Bible dictionaries, and the like because a careful exercise of reason is not important in understanding what the Bible actually says for management. Besides, it takes work! For management, Christianity is identified with subjective feelings, sincere motives, personal piety, and blind faith. Management tests the truth not by a careful application of our God-given faculties of thought, or even by biblical mandates (for example, 2 Corinthians 10:5), but rather by private subjective experiences. For the most part, theoretical reason is just not part of the culture at FCBH. In fact, top management will often spiritualizing normal, everyday things like advice, facts, common knowledge:

Example during a meeting, the CEO said he saw a full moon, then clouds formed & covered the moon, then clouds dissipated. He then said he felt God say: "I can turn nothing into something; something into nothing; turn this ministry into something & if it goes thick & blocks Jesus; it has to diminish.”

So, personal, subjective experiences that top management shares equals truth that employees must agree with or at least accept as true.

Also, time is money, but management uses their mandatory meetings to discuss controversial or complex topics (e.g., fasting, communion, tithing, personal stewardship of money, helping the homeless, how to create more interaction with remote workers, how to retain employees, how to hire more Gen Z employees, past trauma), most of which are unrelated to the actual work. Then they ask employees (most of which have no authority to get things changed/done) what their opinion is about the controversial or complex topic, instead of consulting with professionals or experts.

So, top management will read a bible verse (not a paragraph, not a chapter, a verse; usually out of context) using a version of the Bible that is almost a paraphrase. Then share something personal that happened to them, something they did or saw or experienced or a personal conviction that is not related to the verse. Then explain how they felt about it, how they interpreted it. Then they will ask employees (especially internationals) to share similar experiences. And, then if no one shares or comments or speaks, management makes employees feel guilty: Along the lines of “So, God is not working in your life?”

Example: “I felt God give me this verse about gossip. Let me share with you some personal stories about gossip…. This is how I see it. Now, in the last 5 min of our time, I want people to share. I especially want input from internationals. Does anyone have anything to say about this? No, one? Is God not speaking to you? How can God not be moving and speaking? This is unreal….”

Top management will often use a reader response or subjective biblical interpretation: “This is what I think this verse means. What do you think this verse means? What stood out to you? What did you learn? What is God asking you to apply?” This is a very self-centered way to interpret Scripture. The focus is all about you. What you think. What you feel. But, “The Bible is not about you.” - Timothy Keller. And this leads to people looking at the same verse and coming up with completely different interpretations. Everybody seems to have an opinion on what the Bible says/teaches.

So, instead of discovering what the original author said to the original readers. They will take Biblical concepts (e.g., called to ministry; felt led by the Spirit; God spoke to me; felt peace) and then add new meanings to them which the original author did not intend. This is dangerous since it leaves employees with doubt, disillusionment, disappointment, discouragement, and false hope and can leave them with unmet, unrealistic, and false expectations. Top management will also take subjective, unclear biblical principles or non-essentials, or personal convictions and make them scriptural authority and then judge other Christians who do not agree. They will treat the Proverbs as promises. They will also not make an effort to distinguish between Biblical principles and practices which are relative, time bound, culturally subjective, Biblically illustrated (not commanded). They will often make hasty generalizations. They will beg the question. They will commit special pleading, dictionary simpliciter, reductive, faulty analogy and many other fallacies. They will also allegorize promises in Scripture and spiritualize all principles. They assume that all historical narratives have individual identifiable moral application. God’s word should be taught clearly, not in a distorted manner. Top management will proof text and use religious words to promote their agenda.

And top management will encourage others to have this view/philosophy of Bible interpretation. Many incorrectly interpret the Bible and do not even realize it.

I pray to God that this bad method of interpretation is not being taught to internationals, to people who have never had bibles, who do not have biblical discernment, who don't know any better.

\*Inductive Bible study and internationals:

Hermeneutics has been defined as the science and art of biblical interpretation. Hermeneutics helps us understand the Bible. It is a science because there are specific rules the interpreter must follow. It is an art because it takes years of practice to develop the ability to employ those rules properly. There is a difference between a novice and a seasoned interpreter. Hermeneutics has two basic steps, finding what the text meant to its original audience, and then seeing how it applies to our current situation. Unfortunately, many people (Americans included), impose their own personal experiences, theology, and modern culture on to the Biblical text.

Fortunately, God has allowed us (especially Americans) to have Bible dictionaries, commentaries, handbooks, atlases, etc., to help us with correct hermeneutics, to understand the essential historical and cultural information - the context of the original author and readers of the Bible. We have tools that shed light on the text and help us to arrive at the correct interpretation. When you read a commentary, it will provide checks and balances against your possible mistakes. They can answer questions that a reading of the text can never provide or ask questions that you may never think of asking. Unfortunately, many international people groups do not have access to these tools (or even access to mature, trained, and experienced Christians and pastors). And even if they do have access to resources, they may not know how to use them properly (i.e., limitations of commentaries).

Grammatical-Historical Method or Inductive Bible study can easily be done with printed or digital Bibles. But how can a person do this with audio and video Bibles? This is critical especially for international people groups that do not have access to (and may never have) print Bibles.

False gospels and heresies are popular in illiterate people groups because they are not taught discernment or how to evaluate Scripture and the thoughts of others for themselves. People with ulterior motives misuse Scripture and end up influencing the illiterate.

If these Bible Films and audio Bibles are considered to be actual Bible Translations – video and audio translations of the Bible and the equivalent to and sometimes a replacement for print scripture – then should we also make it a point to teach people who are watching and listening to our video and audio Bible translations Biblical hermeneutics (historical-grammatical interpretation)? How to study the Bible properly for themselves?

My experience has been that many non-Christians (and Christians) misquote or misinterpret the Bible because they do not know how to actually read and study it on their own to find out what the text actually meant to the original author and audience and seeing how it applies to their current situation.

There are many ways to study the Bible, and there are many excellent study aids available to help you with specific books of the Bible. But the most important thing you need to remember is that to find out what the Bible says, you need to read it yourself in a way that will help you discover what it says, what it means, and how you are to apply it to your life. And the best way to do this is through the process called inductive study. Inductive study doesn’t tell you what the Bible means or what you should believe. Instead, it teaches you a method of studying God’s Word that can be applied to any portion of Scripture at any time.

Inductive Bible study draws you into personal interaction with the Scripture and thus with the God of the Scriptures so that your beliefs are based on a prayerful understanding and legitimate interpretation of Scripture.

\*Artistic freedom concerns:

Another concern is with the artistic freedom or personal preference when it comes to audio and video Bible media (when these function as replacements for print Scripture). How much can be taken before you compromise the historical accuracy or the meaning and understanding of the original message? A good translation must be faithful to the historical situation and not change the cultural background. In Bible Translation, the translator’s first job is to study the text carefully to discover the correct meaning (what the original author wanted to communicate). Do international people groups understand that the “artistic freedom” (e.g., how the film is lit, the key shots, angles it shoots from, close-ups, point of view, sets, locations and props, editing, the dialogue and the actors’ performance and emotions, wardrobe choices, soundtrack, visual transitions, reference shots), the visuals and sound, are all NOT inspired?

Biblical and Orthodox Christianity teaches that All Scripture (not just some) is inspired by God who utilized the human element within man to accomplish this without error.The very WORDS (not just the ideas, even parts of letters, and sometimes the tense of verbs) are a result of the mind of God expressed in human terms and conditions. The Bible IS fully true in all that it teaches or asserts to be true (including historical and scientific matters). Only the original documents (autographs) are completely free from error. Does FCBH make an effort to explain this to people groups? If not, then there will be conflict when the visuals and sounds that are added do not match the Biblical text. There will be confusion, doubt, disillusionment, disappointment, discouragement, false hope when people are confronted with unmet, unrealistic, and false expectations.

So, using audio and especially video as Bibles should come with some teaching of the basic principles of film criticism, the doctrine of inspiration (difference between artistic freedom and the Word of God), and inductive Bible study or Bible interpretation.

\*Communicating the truth:

They employ a presuppositional and fideistic/experiential approach to evangelism: In the many testimonies that are shared, many of the people who receive the audio bibles say they believe in Jesus because FCBH gave them bibles that are in their native language. Makes you wonder what would happen if the audio was from the Quran or book of Mormon. Would they believe in anything as long as it was in their own language? FCBH does not seem to make sure people are actually believing facts. There seems to be no appeals to evidence and reason for the truthfulness of the Christianity. One should become a Christian and believe that Jesus is God because it is true (from reason, historical evidence, archaeological evidence, theistic arguments) and not because the Bible one reads is in a certain language. You should follow Jesus because He is God and proved it; not because He speaks your language.

\*Hearing from God?

Many in management practice “hearing from God” and then claim God said something specific and personal to them and to the ministry. This practice uses God's name in vain. And often use God to avoid personal responsibility - “I heard from God; God told me; I felt led; God spoke to me…” They then put what happens on God, so they avoid any personal responsibility if it does not come to pass. They make Christianity out to be personal, private, and a matter of “how I feel about things.” Many Christians actually feel spiritually sub-standard and defeated because for them “the heavens have been silent”. This can be debilitating, and it’s profoundly unfair to employees if their only shortcoming is entertaining a false expectation of what a relationship with God entails. Conversations are often littered with casual references to one’s latest revelations without any sense of the gravity of the assertion, or any sense of responsibility to justify the claim. Even Jesus Himself didn’t presume to speak for God without compelling evidence. But, management takes personal opinions and spiritualize them as if they were God’s word to give divine authority to impulses or thoughts that drift through their minds. To say “God is telling me” gives feelings an authority the Scripture does not justify and virtually ends debate. You can’t argue with the person if God supposedly gave the command. Trusting inner feelings is not biblical. It’s confusing at best, and dangerous at worst.

And with certain requests from employees, when top management does not want to do something, they will respond by saying things like: “I need to pray about it first. Sorry, I do not feel led. I need to get confirmation first. I need to have peace about it first. I need to hear from God first.” But with other things, with things they want to do, they do not need to pray about it first, do not need to feel led, do not need to get confirmation first, do not need to have a peace about it first, do not need to hear from God first. When management does not want to do something, they pass the responsibility off to God (“We cannot…. because God didn’t tell us to do it. Didn't get confirmation.”); but when they do want to do something, they don't seek God and do what they want (“We have decided and are going to… and we don’t need to ask God for guidance or permission”).
submitted by Euphoric-Earth-4765 to u/Euphoric-Earth-4765 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 20:21 Ill_Variation_2480 TTPD's new nickname "Female Rage: The Musical" should upset you.

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,
"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."
I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,
"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."
We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,
"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."
This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,
"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."
Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.
submitted by Ill_Variation_2480 to travisandtaylor [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 20:18 Sad_Bat7625 Feeling guilt for messaging my abusive ex

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. At one point, he missed a turn while driving with GPS and got angry at me for not helping--he disconnected his phone and threw it sideways at me (I guess so I could navigate for him, but it was a pretty retaliatory motion). We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?
submitted by Sad_Bat7625 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 19:39 losdrogasthrowaway should i leave my non-art job off my resume?

context: graduated with an art history degree in 2017, from a college with a pretty good reputation in the field. during undergrad, worked some local internships.
in 2018, i had a seasonal internship at a major museum, and then worked as a gallery assistant at a small gallery for the latter half of the year, both in NY.
in 2019 i moved states, to a place without much of an “art scene” (at least by NY standards) but i did manage to get an “art job”, which i stayed at until 2021 when the company folded. no name recognition, but i would say my duties there were auction house-adjacent.
in 2022, i moved back to NY, got a full-time 9-5 job as a copyeditor (not in a glamorous industry), and started grad school for art history (part time). i should be done fall 2025.
i’ve been reticent to apply to many art jobs (museums, galleries, artist foundations, and nonprofit orgs) because it would be a huge pay cut but i’m finally in a financial place where i can. i’ve had zero responses though, even for like, internships paying $16/hr. i know this isn’t unusual, but i swear that in 2018 i would at least get some initial responses from similar jobs.
i worry that my current job is working against me because it’s not “relevant”, even though some of the skills overlap with the jobs i’m applying for.
should i leave it off my resume? not mention it at all in my cover letters? as it is, i keep the description very brief and emphasize the skills that are relevant. i’m worried that a 3-year employment gap could also work against me.
in theory, i’m not above working my way back up from minimum wage part-time internships and the like. i’ve done it before and got by supplementing with hospitality jobs. but i’m approaching 30, need health insurance, and don’t know how many more years of working 6-7 days a week i have in me.
submitted by losdrogasthrowaway to MuseumPros [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 19:29 mattmccoy92 Can anyone help identify this artist? I've tried multiple combinations of what I think the letters could be to not avail.

Can anyone help identify this artist? I've tried multiple combinations of what I think the letters could be to not avail. submitted by mattmccoy92 to AbstractArt [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:39 w0tur Help me find French song

Hi! I heard a song on Spotify the other day but forgot the artist and song name. It was a French song that had a steel drum in it. I remember that the song cover was orange, the artists name was 3 parts (ex: Jean-Jacques Goldman) and the title of the song was 3 words, the last one being même, I remember the first word was short (something like ‘Les’ and the second word was 6-8 letters.
Note: it’s not Tous les mêmes by Stromae 😅
Thanks so much for the help 🙏
submitted by w0tur to NameThatSong [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:23 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers

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  • Rogue Stormers
  • rollercoaster tycoon 2
  • ROTASTIC
  • Roundguard
  • ROUNDS
  • RUNNING WITH RIFLES
  • Rustler
  • Ryse: Son of Rome
  • S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
  • Sailing Era
  • Saint Row
  • Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
  • SAMUDRA
  • Sands of Aura
  • Sands of Salzaar
  • Saturday Morning RPG
  • Save Room - Organization Puzzle
  • Scarlet Tower
  • Scorn
  • SCP: 5K
  • SCUM
  • SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
  • Second Extinction
  • Secret Government
  • Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
  • SEUM speedrunners from hell
  • SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
  • Severed Steel
  • Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
  • Shadowgate
  • SHADOWS: AWAKENING
  • Shape of the World
  • She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
  • Shenmue I & II
  • SHENZHEN I/O
  • Shift Happens
  • Shing!
  • Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
  • Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
  • Sid Meier's Civilization VI
  • Sid Meier's Railroads!
  • Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
  • Silver Chains
  • SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
  • Sinking Island
  • SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
  • Skautfold Chapters 1-4
  • Skullgirls 2nd Encore
  • Slain: Back from Hell
  • Slap City
  • Slash It
  • Slash It 2
  • Slash It Ultimate
  • Slay the Spire
  • Slaycation Paradise
  • Small World
  • Smart Factory Tycoon
  • Smile For Me
  • Smoke and Sacrifice
  • Smoke and Sacrifice
  • Smushi Come Home
  • Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
  • Sniper Elite 3
  • Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
  • Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
  • Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
  • Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
  • Snooker 19
  • SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
  • Songs of Conquest
  • Sonic Adventure 2
  • Sonic Adventure DX
  • Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
  • Sonic Generations Collection
  • Soulblight
  • Souldiers
  • SOULSTICE
  • Soundfall
  • Source of Madness
  • Spartan Fist
  • Spec Ops
  • Speed Limit
  • Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
  • Spidersaurs
  • Spin Rush
  • Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
  • Spirit of the Island
  • Spirit of the North
  • Spring Bonus
  • Stairs
  • STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
  • STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
  • STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
  • Star Wolves
  • Starsand
  • STASIS: Bone Totem
  • State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
  • Steel Rats™
  • Stick Fight: The Game
  • Still Life
  • Still Life 2
  • Stirring Abyss
  • STONE
  • Strange Brigade
  • Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
  • STRANGER
  • Strategic Command: World War I
  • Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
  • Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
  • Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
  • Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
  • Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
  • Streamer Life Simulator
  • Street Fighter V
  • Street of fury ex
  • Strider
  • Strikey Sisters
  • Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
  • Styx: Master of Shadows
  • Styx: Shards of Darkness
  • SuchArt
  • Sudden Strike Gold
  • Suite 776
  • Sumoman
  • Sunblaze
  • SUNLESS BUNDLE
  • Sunset Overdrive
  • Super Buff HD
  • Super Mag Bot
  • Superbugs: Awaken
  • Superhot
  • Surgeon Simulator 2
  • Survive the Nights
  • Surviving Mars
  • Surviving The Aftermath
  • Swag and Sorcery
  • Sword Legacy Omen
  • Sword of the Necromancer
  • Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
  • Syberia 3
  • Symphonic Rain
  • Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
  • Synthwave Dream '85
  • Tacoma
  • Take Off - The Flight Simulator
  • Tales
  • Tales from the Borderlands
  • Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
  • Talk to Strangers
  • Tallowmere
  • Tangledeep
  • Tank Mechanic Simulator
  • Tannenberg
  • Team Sonic Racing
  • TEKKEN 7
  • TEMTEM
  • Terminus: Zombie Survivors
  • Terror of Hemasaurus
  • Textorcist
  • Tharsis
  • The Adventure Pals
  • The Amazing American Circus
  • The Anacrusis
  • The Ascent
  • The Battle of Polytopia
  • The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
  • The Blackout Club
  • The Chess Variants Club
  • The Citadel
  • The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
  • THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
  • The Darkest Tales
  • The Dungeon Beneath
  • The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
  • The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
  • The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
  • The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
  • The Elder Scrolls Online
  • The Escapists 2
  • THE GAME OF LIFE 2
  • The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
  • THE GUNK
  • The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
  • The Hong Kong Massacre
  • The Horror Of Salazar House
  • The Indie Mixtape
  • The Innsmouth Case
  • The Invisible Hours
  • The Jackbox Party Pack 9
  • The Last Campfire
  • The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
  • The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
  • The Long Dark
  • The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
  • The Mortuary Assistant
  • The Mummy Demastered
  • The Outer Worlds
  • THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
  • THE PALE BEYOND
  • The Quarry
  • The Quarry deluxe
  • The Ramp
  • The Red Lantern
  • The Rewinder
  • The Sacred Tears TRUE
  • The Sexy Brutale
  • The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
  • The Tarnishing of Juxtia
  • The Tenants
  • The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
  • THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
  • The Uncertain: Light At The End
  • The USB Stick Found in the Grass
  • The Walking Dead
  • The Walking Dead - 400 Days
  • The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
  • The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
  • The Walking Dead: Final Season
  • The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
  • The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
  • The Walking Dead: Season 1
  • The Walking Dead: Season Two
  • The Way
  • The Wild At Heart
  • The Wild Eight
  • The Witness
  • Them and Us
  • They Bleed Pixels
  • Thief of Thieves
  • This War of Mine
  • This Way Madness Lies
  • Three Kingdom: The Journey
  • Time on Frog Island
  • Tinkertown
  • Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
  • TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
  • Tiny Troopers
  • Tinykin
  • Tinytopia
  • TIS-100
  • Titan Quest
  • Tokyo Xanadu eX+
  • Tools up
  • Tooth and Tail
  • Torchlight
  • Total Tank Simulator
  • Tour de France 2020
  • Tower Unite
  • Trailblazers
  • Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
  • Train Simulator Classic
  • Train Valley 1
  • Transport INC
  • Treasure Hunter Simulator
  • TRIBES OF MIDGARD
  • Trine 4
  • Trinity Fusion
  • Trombone Champ
  • Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
  • Trover Saves the Universe
  • Tunche
  • Turmoil
  • Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
  • Twin Mirror
  • Two Point Campus
  • Two Point Hospital
  • TYPECAST
  • Tyrant's Blessing
  • Ultimate Chicken Horse
  • Ultimate Zombie Defense
  • Ultra Space Battle Brawl
  • Unavowed
  • Undead Horde
  • Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
  • Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
  • Universim
  • UNLOVED
  • Unpacking
  • Until I have you
  • Unto The End
  • Upside Down
  • URU: Complete Chronicles
  • Vagante
  • Valfaris
  • Valfaris: Mecha Therion
  • Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
  • Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
  • Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
  • Vambrace: Cold Soul
  • Vampire Survivors
  • Vectronom
  • Velocity Noodle
  • Venba
  • Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
  • Victoria 3
  • Victoria II
  • Viking: Battle For Asgard
  • Virgo Versus The Zodiac
  • VirtuaVerse
  • Visage
  • Viscerafest
  • Void Bastards
  • VOIDIGO
  • Volcanoids
  • Voltage High Society
  • V-Rally 4
  • Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
  • Wargroove
  • Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
  • Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
  • Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
  • Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
  • Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
  • Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
  • WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
  • Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
  • Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
  • Warhammer: Vermintide 2
  • Warman
  • Wasteland 3
  • Wayward
  • WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
  • We should talk.
  • We Were Here Together
  • We Were Here Too
  • Webbed
  • What Lies in the Multiverse
  • When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
  • while True: learn()
  • Whos Your daddy
  • Wick
  • Will You Snail?
  • Windward
  • Witch It
  • Witchy Life Story
  • wizard of legends
  • Wolfenstein 3D
  • Worms Rumble
  • WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
  • WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
  • WWE 2K Battlegrounds
  • WWE 2K23
  • WWZ Aftermath
  • Wytchwood
  • X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
  • XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
  • XIII - Classic
  • X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
  • X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
  • Yakuza Kiwami
  • Yumeutsutsu Re:After
  • Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
  • Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
  • Ziggurat
  • Zombie Army 4
  • Zombie Army Trilogy
  • Zool Redimensioned
DLCs and Softwares:
  • For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
  • Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
  • Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
  • BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
  • DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
  • Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
  • SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
  • Small World - A Spider's Web
  • Small World - Cursed
  • Small World - Royal Bonus
  • The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
  • The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
  • Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
  • Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
  • Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
  • Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
  • Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
  • Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
  • Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
  • Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
  • Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
  • Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
  • Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
  • Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
  • Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
  • Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
  • Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
  • Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
  • Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
  • Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
  • Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
  • Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
  • Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
  • Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
  • Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
  • Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
  • Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
  • GameGuru
  • GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
  • Intro to Game Development with Unity
  • Music Maker EDM Edition
  • Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
  • Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
  • Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
  • Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
  • PDF-Suite 1 Year License
  • Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
  • RPG Maker VX
  • WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
  • We Are Alright
  • The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
  • A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
  • City Skylines:mass transit
  • A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
  • A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
  • Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
  • Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
  • Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
  • Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
  • Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
  • Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
  • Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
  • Carcassonne - The River
  • Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
  • Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
  • Splendor: The Cities DLC
  • Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
  • Small World - Grand Dames DLC
  • Small World - Cursed!
  • Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
  • Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
  • Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
  • WARSAW
submitted by calvin324hk to indiegameswap [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 17:23 calvin324hk [H] 1000+ Games / DLCs / VR Games [W] Paypal / Wishlist / Offers

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
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Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
  • 10 Second Ninja X
  • 11-11 Memories Retold
  • 112 Operator
  • 12 is Better Than 6
  • 198X
  • 1993 Space Machine
  • 60 Parsecs
  • 7 Billion Humans
  • 8 DOORS
  • 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
  • 9 Years of Shadows
  • 911 Operator
  • A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
  • A Hat in Time
  • A Hole New World
  • A JUGGLER'S TALE
  • A Long Way Down
  • A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
  • A Robot Named Fight!
  • A Tale for Anna
  • A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
  • Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
  • Adore
  • Aeterna Noctis
  • AETHERIS
  • Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
  • AIdol
  • Airborne Kingdom
  • Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
  • Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
  • Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
  • Alien Breed Trilogy
  • Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
  • All-Star Fruit Racing
  • Almost There: The Platformer
  • American Fugitive
  • American Truck Simulator
  • Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
  • AMID EVIL
  • Amnesia rebirth
  • Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
  • Anomalous
  • Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
  • Antigraviator
  • Anuchard
  • APICO
  • APICO
  • Aragami
  • Aragami 2
  • Arboria
  • Arcade Paradise
  • Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
  • Arcade Spirits
  • Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
  • Armada 2526 Gold Edition
  • Army Men RTS
  • army of ruin
  • Arto
  • Ary and the Secret of Seasons
  • As Far as the Eye
  • Ascension to the Throne
  • Assemble With Care
  • Assetto Corsa Competizione
  • Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
  • Astebreed Definitive Edition
  • Astronarch
  • Attack of the Earthlings
  • Automachef
  • Automobilista
  • Automobilista 2
  • AUTONAUTS
  • AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
  • Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
  • AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
  • Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
  • Baba is you
  • Back 4 Blood
  • Back 4 blood (EU)
  • Backbone
  • Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
  • Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
  • Banners of Ruin
  • Bartlow's Dread Machine
  • BASEMENT
  • Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
  • Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
  • Batman: Arkham Origins
  • Battle Royale Tycoon
  • Battlecruisers
  • Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
  • BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
  • Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
  • BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
  • BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
  • BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
  • BEFORE WE LEAVE
  • Beholder 2
  • Ben 10
  • Ben 10: Power Trip
  • Bendy and the Ink Machine™
  • Between the Stars
  • Beyond a Steel Sky
  • Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
  • Beyond the Long Night
  • BEYOND THE WIRE
  • Beyond: Two Souls
  • BIOMUTANT
  • Bionic Commando
  • Bionic Commando Rearmed
  • BioShock: The Collection
  • BLACK BOOK
  • Black Moon Chronicles
  • Black Paradox
  • BLACK SKYLANDS
  • BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
  • Blacksad: Under the Skin
  • Blade of Darkness
  • Blasphemous
  • Blazing Chrome
  • Blightbound
  • Blood And Zombies
  • Blood Rage: Digital Edition
  • Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
  • Bomber Crew
  • Boneless Zombie
  • Boomerang Fu
  • Borderlands 3
  • Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
  • Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
  • Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
  • Bot Vice
  • Bounty of One
  • Brawlout
  • Breakout: Recharged
  • Breathedge
  • bridge constructor
  • Bridge constructor medieval
  • bridge constructor stunts
  • Broken Lines
  • Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
  • Brutal Legend
  • Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
  • BUILDER SIMULATOR
  • calico
  • Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
  • Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
  • Car Mechanic 2018
  • Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
  • Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
  • Castle Morihisa
  • Castle on the Coast
  • castle storm
  • CastleStorm
  • Cat Cafe Manager
  • Caveblazers
  • Celeste
  • Centipede: Recharged
  • CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
  • Charlie's Adventure
  • Chenso Club
  • Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
  • Chess Ultra
  • Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
  • Chivalry 2
  • Chop Goblins
  • Chorus
  • Cities Skylines + After Dark
  • Cities: Skylines
  • City of Beats
  • CivCity: Rome
  • Click and Slay
  • Cloud Gardens
  • Cloudpunk
  • Code Vein
  • Coffee Talk
  • Comedy Night
  • Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
  • Complete Dread X Collection
  • Conarium
  • Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
  • Constructor Plus
  • Control
  • Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
  • cornucopia
  • Corridor Z
  • Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
  • Cosmonautica
  • Crash Drive 2
  • Crash Drive 3
  • Creaks
  • Creepy Tale
  • Crookz the big heist
  • CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
  • Crush Your Enemies
  • Cube Runner
  • Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
  • Curse: The Eye of Isis
  • Cyber Ops
  • Cybercube
  • Danger Scavenger
  • Dark Deity
  • DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
  • Darksiders Warmastered
  • Darkwood
  • DARQ: Complete Edition
  • Day of the Tentacle Remastered
  • days of war definitive edition
  • Dead by Daylight
  • Dead Estate
  • Dead Rising 2
  • Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
  • Death Stranding Directors Cut
  • DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
  • Deceased
  • DECEIVE INC.
  • Degrees of Separation
  • Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
  • Deliver Us The Moon
  • Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
  • Depraved
  • DESCENDERS
  • DESOLATE
  • Destiny 2: Beyond Light
  • DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
  • Detention
  • Devil May Cry HD Collection
  • Devilated
  • Dicey Dungeons
  • Dirt 5
  • dirt rally
  • Dirt Rally 2.0
  • Disaster Band
  • Disciples III: Reincarnation
  • Discolored
  • DISTRAINT 2
  • Distrust
  • DmC: Devil May Cry
  • Do Not Feed the Monkeys
  • Don't Be Afraid
  • Doomed Lands
  • Door Kickers: Action Squad
  • Doorways: Prelude
  • Downfall
  • Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
  • Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
  • Draugen
  • Draw Slasher
  • Drawful 2
  • Dreams in the Witch House
  • Dreamscaper
  • DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
  • DRIFT21
  • Driftland: The Magic Revival
  • drive!drive!drive!
  • Drone Swarm
  • Due Process
  • Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
  • Duke of Alpha Centauri
  • Dungeon Rushers
  • Dungeons 2
  • Dungeons 3
  • DUSK
  • Dusk Diver
  • Dust to the End
  • DV: Rings of Saturn
  • Dynopunk
  • Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
  • Eastern Exorcist
  • Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
  • El Matador
  • Elderand
  • ELDEST SOULS
  • Electrician Simulator
  • Elemental Survivors
  • Elex
  • Elex II
  • Elite Dangerous
  • Embr
  • Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
  • Empyrion - Galactic Survival
  • ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
  • Endless Space 2
  • Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
  • Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
  • Endzone - A World Apart
  • EPIC CHEF
  • Epistory - Typing Chronicles
  • Escape the backrooms
  • Eternal Threads
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • European Ship Simulator
  • Everdream Valley
  • Evil Genius 2: World Domination
  • Exorder
  • EXPEDITIONS: ROME
  • Expeditions: Viking
  • Explosionade
  • F1 2018
  • F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
  • F1 2020
  • F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
  • Fable Anniversary
  • Factory Town
  • Fallback uprising
  • Fallback: Uprising
  • FALLOUT 1
  • Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
  • FANTASY BLACKSMITH
  • FARMER'S DYNASTY
  • Farming Simulator 17
  • Farming Simulator 19
  • Fictorum
  • Field of Glory II
  • Fights in Tight Spaces
  • Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
  • Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
  • Fishing Adventure
  • Flashback
  • FLATLAND Vol.2
  • FlatOut
  • FLING TO THE FINISH
  • Floppy Knights
  • Fluffy Horde
  • FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
  • For the King
  • Forgive me Father
  • Forts
  • Fred3ric
  • Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
  • Friends vs Friends
  • Frogun
  • From Space
  • Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
  • Frozenheim
  • Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
  • Funtasia
  • Gamedec
  • Gamedec - Definitive Edition
  • Gang Beasts
  • GARAGE bad trip
  • Garden Story
  • Garfield Kart
  • GAS STATION SIMULATOR
  • Gelly Break Deluxe
  • Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
  • Gevaudan
  • Ghostrunner
  • Giana Sisters 2D
  • GIGA WRECKER
  • Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
  • Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
  • Gloria Victis
  • Go Home Dinosaurs
  • GOAT OF DUTY
  • GOD EATER 3
  • Godlike Burger
  • Godstrike
  • Going Under
  • Golf Gang
  • Golf It!
  • Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
  • Good Knight
  • Gotham Knights
  • GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
  • GREEDFALL
  • Gremlins, inc
  • grey goo
  • GRID - 2019
  • grid ultimate
  • GRIP: Combat Racing
  • Gungrave G.O.R.E
  • Guppy
  • Guts and glory
  • GYLT
  • Hacknet
  • Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
  • Hamilton's Great Adventure
  • Hammerwatch
  • Hands of Necromancy
  • Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
  • Headsnatchers
  • Heartwood Heroes
  • Heat Signature
  • Helheim Hassle
  • Hell Let Loose
  • Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
  • Hellbound
  • Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
  • Hero of the Kingdom III
  • Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
  • Heroes of Hammerwatch
  • Heros hour
  • Hexologic
  • Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
  • Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
  • Hidden Deep
  • High On Life
  • Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
  • HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
  • Hoa
  • Hob
  • Hollow Knight
  • Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
  • Home Sweet Home
  • Home Sweet Home EP2
  • Homestead Arcana
  • Hood: Outlaws & Legends
  • Hoplegs
  • Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
  • HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
  • Hotshot Racing
  • House Flipper
  • How to Survive 2
  • Hue
  • Human: Fall Flat
  • HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
  • Hungry Flame
  • Hyper Knights
  • I am Bread
  • I Am Fish
  • I am not a Monster: First Contact
  • I Hate Running Backwards
  • ibb & obb Double Pack
  • ICBM
  • Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
  • Ice Lakes
  • Impostor Factory
  • IN SOUND MIND
  • Indivisible
  • INDUSTRIA
  • Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
  • Infinite Beyond The Mind
  • Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
  • Insane 2
  • INSOMNIA: The Ark
  • Internet Cafe Simulator
  • Internet Cafe Simulator 2
  • Interstellar Space: Genesis
  • Iron Fisticle
  • Iron Harvest
  • Ittle Dew
  • Ittle Dew 2+
  • Jack Move
  • Jackbox party pack 2
  • Jackbox party pack 5
  • JANITOR BLEEDS
  • Joint Task Force
  • Jotun: Valhalla Edition
  • Journey For Elysium
  • Journey to the Savage Planet
  • JUMANJI: The Video Game
  • JumpJet Rex
  • Juno: New Origins
  • Jupiter Hell
  • Jurassic Park: The Game
  • Jurassic World Evolution
  • Jurassic World Evolution 2
  • JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
  • Just Die Already
  • Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
  • Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
  • Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
  • Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
  • Kerbal Space Program
  • Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
  • Killing Room
  • Kingdom Two Crowns
  • Kingdom: New Lands
  • King's Bounty: Crossworlds
  • Knights of Pen & Paper 2
  • Knock-knock
  • Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
  • Konung 2
  • KungFu Kickball
  • Labyrinthine
  • Lair of the Clockwork God
  • Laserlife
  • LAST OASIS
  • Lawn Mowing Simulator
  • Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
  • Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
  • Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
  • Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
  • Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
  • Legend of Keepers
  • LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
  • LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
  • Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
  • Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
  • Lemnis Gate
  • Lemon Cake
  • lethal league blaze
  • Let's School
  • Levelhead
  • Liberated (GOG)
  • Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
  • Light Fairytale Episode 1
  • Light Fairytale Episode 2
  • LIGHTMATTER
  • Little dragons cafe
  • Little Hope
  • Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
  • Little Nightmares
  • Little Nightmares Complete Edition
  • Livelock
  • Loop Hero
  • Loot River
  • Looterkings
  • Lornsword Winter Chronicle
  • Lost Castle
  • Love Letter
  • Lovecraft's Untold Stories
  • Lovely planet arcade
  • Lucius2
  • Lucius3
  • Ludus
  • Lumberhill
  • LunarLux
  • Lust for Darkness
  • Lust from Beyond: M Edition
  • Mad Experiments: Escape Room
  • Mad Max
  • Mafia Definitive Edition
  • Mafia: Definitive Edition
  • Magenta Horizon
  • Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
  • Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
  • Mail Time
  • Maize
  • Maneater
  • Marooners
  • MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
  • Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
  • Mato Anomalies
  • Max Payne 3
  • Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
  • Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
  • Medieval: Total War Collection
  • MEEPLE STATION
  • Men of War
  • MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
  • METAL HELLSINGER
  • Metal Hellsinger
  • Metro Exodus
  • Metro last light
  • Metro: Last Light Redux
  • Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
  • Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
  • Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
  • MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
  • Mighty Switch Force! Collection
  • MIND SCANNERS
  • Ministry of Broadcast
  • Minute of Islands
  • Miscreated
  • Mists of Noyah
  • MKXL
  • Mob Rule Classic
  • Monaco
  • Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
  • Monster Train
  • MONSTER TRAIN (FIRST CLASS - COLLECTORS EDITION)
  • Monstrum
  • Monstrum 2
  • Moon Hunters
  • Moons of Madness
  • MORDHAU
  • Mordheim: City of the Damned
  • Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
  • MORTAL KOMBAT XL
  • Mortal Shell
  • Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
  • Mr. Run and Jump
  • Murder Mystery Machine
  • My Big Sister
  • My Friend Peppa Pig
  • My Lovely Wife
  • My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
  • My Time At Portia
  • N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
  • Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
  • Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
  • NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
  • NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
  • Necronator: Dead Wrong
  • NecroVisioN: Lost Company
  • NecroWorm
  • Neighbours back From Hell
  • Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
  • Neon Space
  • Neon Space 2
  • Neon Sundown
  • Nephise: Ascension
  • Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
  • Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
  • Neverinth
  • Neverout
  • Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
  • Newt One
  • Nexomon: Extinction
  • Nigate Tale
  • Nine Parchments
  • Nine Witches: Family Disruption
  • No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
  • No Time to Relax
  • Nomad Survival
  • Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
  • Noosphere
  • Northgard
  • Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
  • Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
  • not the robots
  • Nurse Love Addiction
  • Nurse Love Syndrome
  • Nusakana
  • Obduction
  • Obey Me
  • Observer: System Redux
  • Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
  • Odallus: The Dark Call
  • Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
  • One Finger Death Punch 2
  • One Hand Clapping
  • One More Island
  • One Step From Eden
  • One Step From Eden (Region locked)
  • Orbital Racer
  • OTXO
  • Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
  • Out of Space
  • Overclocked: A History of Violence
  • Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
  • Overpass
  • Overruled
  • OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
  • Pac-Man Museum +
  • Pan'Orama
  • Panty Party
  • Panzer Corps 2
  • Papo & Yo
  • PARADISE LOST
  • Parkan 2
  • PARTISANS 1941
  • Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
  • Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
  • Patron
  • Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
  • Paws of Coal
  • Payday 2
  • PAYDAY 2
  • Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
  • PER ASPERA
  • Perfect
  • PGA 2K21
  • PGA Tour 2K21
  • Pharaonic
  • Pixplode
  • Pizza Connection 3
  • Plague tale
  • Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
  • Planet Alcatraz
  • PLANET ZOO
  • PlateUp!
  • Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
  • Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
  • Police Stories
  • Poly Island
  • Post Void
  • Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
  • Prank Call
  • Prehistoric Kingdom
  • Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
  • Pretty Girls Panic!
  • Prey
  • Primal Carnage: Extinction
  • Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
  • Pro Cycling Manager 2020
  • Prodeus
  • Project CARS - GOTY Edition
  • Project Warlock
  • Project Wingman (EU)
  • PROJECT WINTER
  • Propnight
  • PULSAR: The Lost Colony
  • qomp
  • Quadrilateral Cowboy
  • Quake II
  • Quantum Break
  • Quern - Undying Thoughts
  • Radio Commander
  • RAGE
  • Rage in Peace
  • RAILROAD CORPORATION
  • Railroad Tycoon 3
  • Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
  • Railway Empire
  • Rain World
  • Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
  • Re: Legend
  • REBEL COPS
  • Rebel Galaxy
  • Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
  • Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
  • Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
  • Red Ronin
  • RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
  • Redout Complete Bundle
  • Redout: Enhanced Edition
  • Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
  • Regular Human Basketball
  • REKT! High Octane Stunts
  • Relicta
  • REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
  • Republique
  • Rescue Party: Live!
  • Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
  • Resident Evil 4
  • Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
  • Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
  • Resident Evil Revelations
  • Resort Boss: Golf
  • RETROWAVE
  • rFactor 2
  • RiME
  • Ring of Pain
  • Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
  • Rise of the Slime
  • Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
  • Riven: The Sequel to MYST
  • River City Girls
  • River City Ransom: Underground
  • Roarr! Jurassic Edition
  • Roboquest
  • Robot Squad Simulator 2017
  • Rogue : Genesia
  • ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
  • ROGUE LORDS
  • Rogue Stormers
  • rollercoaster tycoon 2
  • ROTASTIC
  • Roundguard
  • ROUNDS
  • RUNNING WITH RIFLES
  • Rustler
  • Ryse: Son of Rome
  • S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
  • Sailing Era
  • Saint Row
  • Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
  • SAMUDRA
  • Sands of Aura
  • Sands of Salzaar
  • Saturday Morning RPG
  • Save Room - Organization Puzzle
  • Scarlet Tower
  • Scorn
  • SCP: 5K
  • SCUM
  • SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
  • Second Extinction
  • Secret Government
  • Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
  • SEUM speedrunners from hell
  • SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
  • Severed Steel
  • Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
  • Shadowgate
  • SHADOWS: AWAKENING
  • Shape of the World
  • She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
  • Shenmue I & II
  • SHENZHEN I/O
  • Shift Happens
  • Shing!
  • Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
  • Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
  • Sid Meier's Civilization VI
  • Sid Meier's Railroads!
  • Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
  • Silver Chains
  • SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
  • Sinking Island
  • SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
  • Skautfold Chapters 1-4
  • Skullgirls 2nd Encore
  • Slain: Back from Hell
  • Slap City
  • Slash It
  • Slash It 2
  • Slash It Ultimate
  • Slay the Spire
  • Slaycation Paradise
  • Small World
  • Smart Factory Tycoon
  • Smile For Me
  • Smoke and Sacrifice
  • Smoke and Sacrifice
  • Smushi Come Home
  • Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
  • Sniper Elite 3
  • Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
  • Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
  • Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
  • Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
  • Snooker 19
  • SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
  • Songs of Conquest
  • Sonic Adventure 2
  • Sonic Adventure DX
  • Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
  • Sonic Generations Collection
  • Soulblight
  • Souldiers
  • SOULSTICE
  • Soundfall
  • Source of Madness
  • Spartan Fist
  • Spec Ops
  • Speed Limit
  • Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
  • Spidersaurs
  • Spin Rush
  • Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
  • Spirit of the Island
  • Spirit of the North
  • Spring Bonus
  • Stairs
  • STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
  • STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
  • STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
  • Star Wolves
  • Starsand
  • STASIS: Bone Totem
  • State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
  • Steel Rats™
  • Stick Fight: The Game
  • Still Life
  • Still Life 2
  • Stirring Abyss
  • STONE
  • Strange Brigade
  • Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
  • STRANGER
  • Strategic Command: World War I
  • Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
  • Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
  • Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
  • Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
  • Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
  • Streamer Life Simulator
  • Street Fighter V
  • Street of fury ex
  • Strider
  • Strikey Sisters
  • Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
  • Styx: Master of Shadows
  • Styx: Shards of Darkness
  • SuchArt
  • Sudden Strike Gold
  • Suite 776
  • Sumoman
  • Sunblaze
  • SUNLESS BUNDLE
  • Sunset Overdrive
  • Super Buff HD
  • Super Mag Bot
  • Superbugs: Awaken
  • Superhot
  • Surgeon Simulator 2
  • Survive the Nights
  • Surviving Mars
  • Surviving The Aftermath
  • Swag and Sorcery
  • Sword Legacy Omen
  • Sword of the Necromancer
  • Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
  • Syberia 3
  • Symphonic Rain
  • Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
  • Synthwave Dream '85
  • Tacoma
  • Take Off - The Flight Simulator
  • Tales
  • Tales from the Borderlands
  • Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
  • Talk to Strangers
  • Tallowmere
  • Tangledeep
  • Tank Mechanic Simulator
  • Tannenberg
  • Team Sonic Racing
  • TEKKEN 7
  • TEMTEM
  • Terminus: Zombie Survivors
  • Terror of Hemasaurus
  • Textorcist
  • Tharsis
  • The Adventure Pals
  • The Amazing American Circus
  • The Anacrusis
  • The Ascent
  • The Battle of Polytopia
  • The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
  • The Blackout Club
  • The Chess Variants Club
  • The Citadel
  • The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
  • THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
  • The Darkest Tales
  • The Dungeon Beneath
  • The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
  • The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
  • The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
  • The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
  • The Elder Scrolls Online
  • The Escapists 2
  • THE GAME OF LIFE 2
  • The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
  • THE GUNK
  • The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
  • The Hong Kong Massacre
  • The Horror Of Salazar House
  • The Indie Mixtape
  • The Innsmouth Case
  • The Invisible Hours
  • The Jackbox Party Pack 9
  • The Last Campfire
  • The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
  • The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
  • The Long Dark
  • The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
  • The Mortuary Assistant
  • The Mummy Demastered
  • The Outer Worlds
  • THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
  • THE PALE BEYOND
  • The Quarry
  • The Quarry deluxe
  • The Ramp
  • The Red Lantern
  • The Rewinder
  • The Sacred Tears TRUE
  • The Sexy Brutale
  • The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
  • The Tarnishing of Juxtia
  • The Tenants
  • The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
  • THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
  • The Uncertain: Light At The End
  • The USB Stick Found in the Grass
  • The Walking Dead
  • The Walking Dead - 400 Days
  • The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
  • The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
  • The Walking Dead: Final Season
  • The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
  • The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
  • The Walking Dead: Season 1
  • The Walking Dead: Season Two
  • The Way
  • The Wild At Heart
  • The Wild Eight
  • The Witness
  • Them and Us
  • They Bleed Pixels
  • Thief of Thieves
  • This War of Mine
  • This Way Madness Lies
  • Three Kingdom: The Journey
  • Time on Frog Island
  • Tinkertown
  • Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
  • TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
  • Tiny Troopers
  • Tinykin
  • Tinytopia
  • TIS-100
  • Titan Quest
  • Tokyo Xanadu eX+
  • Tools up
  • Tooth and Tail
  • Torchlight
  • Total Tank Simulator
  • Tour de France 2020
  • Tower Unite
  • Trailblazers
  • Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
  • Train Simulator Classic
  • Train Valley 1
  • Transport INC
  • Treasure Hunter Simulator
  • TRIBES OF MIDGARD
  • Trine 4
  • Trinity Fusion
  • Trombone Champ
  • Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
  • Trover Saves the Universe
  • Tunche
  • Turmoil
  • Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
  • Twin Mirror
  • Two Point Campus
  • Two Point Hospital
  • TYPECAST
  • Tyrant's Blessing
  • Ultimate Chicken Horse
  • Ultimate Zombie Defense
  • Ultra Space Battle Brawl
  • Unavowed
  • Undead Horde
  • Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
  • Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
  • Universim
  • UNLOVED
  • Unpacking
  • Until I have you
  • Unto The End
  • Upside Down
  • URU: Complete Chronicles
  • Vagante
  • Valfaris
  • Valfaris: Mecha Therion
  • Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
  • Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
  • Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
  • Vambrace: Cold Soul
  • Vampire Survivors
  • Vectronom
  • Velocity Noodle
  • Venba
  • Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
  • Victoria 3
  • Victoria II
  • Viking: Battle For Asgard
  • Virgo Versus The Zodiac
  • VirtuaVerse
  • Visage
  • Viscerafest
  • Void Bastards
  • VOIDIGO
  • Volcanoids
  • Voltage High Society
  • V-Rally 4
  • Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
  • Wargroove
  • Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
  • Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
  • Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
  • Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
  • Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
  • Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
  • WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
  • Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
  • Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
  • Warhammer: Vermintide 2
  • Warman
  • Wasteland 3
  • Wayward
  • WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
  • We should talk.
  • We Were Here Together
  • We Were Here Too
  • Webbed
  • What Lies in the Multiverse
  • When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
  • while True: learn()
  • Whos Your daddy
  • Wick
  • Will You Snail?
  • Windward
  • Witch It
  • Witchy Life Story
  • wizard of legends
  • Wolfenstein 3D
  • Worms Rumble
  • WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
  • WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
  • WWE 2K Battlegrounds
  • WWE 2K23
  • WWZ Aftermath
  • Wytchwood
  • X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
  • XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
  • XIII - Classic
  • X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
  • X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
  • Yakuza Kiwami
  • Yumeutsutsu Re:After
  • Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
  • Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
  • Ziggurat
  • Zombie Army 4
  • Zombie Army Trilogy
  • Zool Redimensioned
DLCs and Softwares:
  • For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
  • Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
  • Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
  • Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
  • BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
  • DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
  • Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
  • SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
  • Small World - A Spider's Web
  • Small World - Cursed
  • Small World - Royal Bonus
  • The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
  • The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
  • Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
  • Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
  • Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
  • Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
  • Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
  • Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
  • Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
  • Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
  • Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
  • Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
  • Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
  • Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
  • Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
  • Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
  • Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
  • Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
  • Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
  • Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
  • Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
  • Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
  • Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
  • Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
  • Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
  • Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
  • Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
  • GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
  • GameGuru
  • GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
  • Intro to Game Development with Unity
  • Music Maker EDM Edition
  • Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
  • Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
  • Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
  • Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
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2024.05.14 16:05 Sad_Bat7625 Feeling guilt for messaging my abusive ex

About a year ago, I [29 M] was in a toxic relationship with J [29 M]. While there were no serious stakes in it (no kids or messy finances), the relationship and breakup ended up emotionally affecting me in a way I had never really thought possible. I feel guilty because after the relationship I tried to be friends with my ex still, which I now see as a mistake in the context of this relationship, and then after a few months, he blocked me because I didn't respect a boundary he had set about not sending him long messages. He said he didn't feel safe since I "completely ignored" the boundary.
I was devastated, but over the course of the next few months, came to understand a great deal of ways that I feel that I had been abused during the relationship. I felt angrier and angrier, and even though I was seeing a therapist, it eventually boiled over. My ex had blocked me on discord and probably on text, but I went onto an astrology app called Co-Star that he had had me download, and sent a message using it that said something like, "You were an abusive partner, but you can make it right with an apology."
Now, I have no idea if he actually saw the message. It was sent with a weird feature of the app called Chaos Mode that apparently chooses to send the message at some future time, so who knows if it actually ever sent. I don't know if he still has the app, if he unfriended me, or whatnot. But I feel guilty because I enacted exactly the caricature of me that he had created--I hadn't respected his boundaries, and I sent the message anyways.
At the same time, I am still feeling very victimized by the relationship. To give you a sense of the kinds of things that were going on in the relationship, here's a few examples that I currently find a little horrific [Note: this kind of turned into a summary of the relationship after I wrote it]. I'm aware that to heal I should probably not be ruminating about these things, especially if they lead me to boil over and message him, but here you go.
The first time I had sex with him, he slammed the door on me for not being able to finish and said "finish yourself." When I came to bed, I told him I felt shame. He said "good." The next time we had sex, he set a timer for me and said I had to finish within 5 minutes. These were the first times I ever had sex. He was manipulative in bed, telling me he didn't want to perform certain acts because I didn't give him enough praise for them, so that I started exaggerating my pleasure; he blamed me for why certain positions weren't working and was frustrated with how my body worked. On top of this, he admitted at the end of the relationship to having had sex with me around five times after he decided to break up with me (before he did), which just makes me feel a bit icky.
He would put me down in pretty transparently cruel ways. One example was when I exerted myself, he said I sounded like a muppet and that he "didn't want to be dating a muppet." When I offered him a blanket but apologized that it might not have been washed in a while, he called me a baby. He would insult my ability to give complements, asking me to tell him what color his eyes are but then rejecting everything that I gave him, telling me I was bad at complements repeatedly (and saying that it wasn't fair of him because his other exes were artists, so no wonder I was bad). Now, there were times that he was complementary to me--he told me I was hot, good at singing, good at writing, smart--but also times where he would put me down for things I was less good at, like cooking.
He constantly made me feel insecure about my gender. (For context, we are both men, but he was raised as a woman). So he would make pretty sweeping feminist critiques over fairly mundane things, like if I complained when I was sick he would go off about how men are always babies when they are sick and women don't get attention. When I confronted him about some of the things he was saying, telling him that while I wanted him to express these kinds of social problems so that I could be aware and adapt, I was feeling insecure in the relationship--he flipped it around and told me that if I didn't feel loved, he could say "I love you" less, and that I hadn't been grateful enough for when he came to visit me. (I had written him poetry, deep cleaned my apartment, taken time off work, sent my roommate off for the week, bought him a bus pass, planned his visit, met him in the airport despite not having a car, and just an insane amount of work to be turned into, "you weren't grateful enough").
Other than namecalling, he was just plain controlling. The reason that the boundary around me not sending long messages exists is that when I felt insecure--which I think makes sense given the ways he would talk to me--I would often send him a few paragraphs apologizing and explaining how I was growing. Even though long messages were the first thing he said he loved about me, and that he said our communication was like magic, he eventually set up what he called an "Essay embargo" and told me not to write them. The first time he set the "embargo", he had said it was only until we met in person because he didn't want me to write anything that would make him nervous. After we met in person, I assumed the embargo had lifted. Yet shortly after, he set it again, giving a few explanations--the main one just being that he wanted to appreciate our relationship without overthinking it. It seemed playful. He definitely did also say that long messages made him uncomfortable because he felt obligated to send a response. So, when I did send messages, I would add that he didn't have to respond (which I realize is not fully respecting the boundary). I did ask after sending messages whether they were ok and he never responded to those questions.
Despite this, there were times during the relationship that I continued to send long, often apologetic messages. I had felt like this boundary was set playfully and I also was feeling overwhelming guilt that I, for whatever reason, needed his affirmation for. I am conflicted because on the one hand, I was definitely ignoring his boundary--but on the other, I feel like the boundary was not very thoughtful of my own needs, either.
Prior to the breakup, it was hell. He was getting angry at me for everything--for pretty mundane things like using the bathroom before him and stinking it up. He told me he had to show me how to do everything, but I realize now that a lot of this was just him being particular (e.g, he told me I don't know how to drink tea because I left the bag in, when I just like it strong). Unfortunately, I had flown 5,000 miles to visit him and was sort of trapped in his proximity, and was drunk on love still since I was trying very hard, it was my first relationship, and he had sold me on notions of fairytale romance and told me we were cosmically meant to be together and other lovebomby sort of things. We flew to a convention and I met some of his friends, and at one point he introduced me to a girl he had almost dated before, saying I was a friend and not a partner. I pointed this out to him later and he just said "does that make you angry?". He flirted with a woman at a party, telling her she was pretty while demanding that i bring him snacks (I feel so, so weak for not confronting him about this). He got drunk and I stayed with him as he passed out, but he was angry at me in the morning. When one of his friends told me they thought I was nice, because i was opening doors for everyone, my ex said "Is he really?" Questioning them.
The breakup itself was cold and calculated. He started it by telling me that he thought about not giving me any reasons for the breakup because I always overanalyze things. He told me he wouldn't have broken up with me if I was a woman. He told me I didn't take care of him and he needs a partner that takes care of him, and that his partners always feel taken care of. He threw some things I had said at the beginning of the relationship back at me--misquoting and misunderstanding them.
After the relationship, I had no idea what to think. It was my first relationship. It had started with fairytale romance. I had been passing his tests, I had been an exception to his long string of abusive relationships. He presented himself as this incredibly moral person (vegan, environmentally conscious, telling me of all of the ways others had abused him that he would never do, even his closest friends). I had completely internalized criticisms that he had had of me throughout the relationship, many of which had led to serious self reflection and my writing messages about my growth. Within a week I told him I still loved him and that I always would. He reminded me of his boundary around long messages and said they made him anxious. I was desperate. We took a few weeks of no-contact. We messaged short-messages back and forth, with a few life-updates to eachother each. He told me he was rescuing a kitten that he found, and I remembered how he could be kind.
But as I processed, more and more, I felt angry. I wrote unsent angry letters in the notes app on my phone for a month. I wrote myself a 20,000 word summary of the relationship. This was not a healthy way to process. It elevated me. (Some of you will probably comment that maybe I shouldn't have written this post for the same reason, but oh well--I wanted to process and I want to hear if others have similar stories). Meanwhile, my ex kept pushing back the date for when we would verbally connect again. Eventually, I boiled over. I did not insult him. But I wrote a long message explaining that I wanted to take 3 months of no-contact. I had entered another relationship and told him that even though I was feeling angry at him, he shouldn't be worried because even though I had baggage from the relationship, I was communicating well with my new partner. I also told him that I felt like if I did talk with him, that I would end up tearing him a new one, and that I needed time to cool down. I'm not proud of the message in general, but I didn't call names, tell him he was awful, or anything like that. I was just insensitive and told him I was angry.
And like that, I was blocked. It was over. A period of about 9 months, five of which we were together, with two before escalating towards love bombing and two after escalating towards my boiling over.
And yet, I had never expressed to him that I thought he had been abusive. I felt frustrated that I had told him that I would always love him, when in many ways now I hated him.
Five months passed, during which I came to realize more and more how messed up the relationship was.
And then I sent the message on Co-star.
Fast forward another four months to now.
I just sent him a text, knowing he probably has blocked me there too. It said something like, "I want my last message to you just be: I'm sorry, and I forgive you." I wanted to free myself. I needed to not feel angry at him or ashamed of myself. I needed to not feel like I had a million things to say to him--I needed to just say, this is it: I'm not sending more messages. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. It was for myself. I was forgiving him selfishly, even though he didn't deserve it, so that I could move on.
I feel like I shouldn't have sent this, but I don't feel bad about it yet, either. I needed closure. It always felt like there was some "message I could send" to detail his abuse, and I needed to not have that standing over me--I needed to forgive. I am now oscillating between wondering about myself--whether I have a problem with boundaries, since I had boiled over at this point three times to message him. Feeling frustrated I didn't assert myself about his abuse, that I doubled down on loving him. Part of me is glad that I sent the message on Co-Star saying that he was abusive, because it was the only indication I ever gave him, really, that what he did wasn't ok to me--he had blocked me before I could articulate anything. But I also know that this message even if received would not mean anything to him.
Anyways, now I'm venting about it here on Reddit. Does anyone have similar experiences surrounding self control messaging exes and feeling a bit out of control?
submitted by Sad_Bat7625 to emotionalabuse [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 16:00 AutoModerator Daily Discussion - May 14, 2024

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2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words

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submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 13:01 FelicitySmoak_ On This Day in Michael Jackson HIStory - May 14th

On This Day in Michael Jackson HIStory - May 14th
1975 - Michael had a private meeting with Berry Gordy to discuss the Jackson Five's future & after being denied creative freedom once again, the brothers started shopping for a new record deal. The Jackson Five had begun to ask to produce, write and record their own material in the previous year but all their requests for creative control had been denied.
1985 - Michael met Ronald & Nancy Reagan at White House for the launch of a campaign against driving under the influence of alcohol. In the spring of 1984, Michael's team received a call from the Secretary of Transportation, Elizabeth Dole, asking for Michael to give "BEAT IT" as background music for a television commercial and a 35 second radio spot on the dangers of driving a car under the influence of alcohol.
Even though the initiative was initially rejected by Michael, once he meditated a bit, he explained to his representative, John Branca
"You know what? If I can get some kind of prize from the White House then I will give them the song. How about?".
Intrigued, Branca asked: "Like what?"
Jackson listed: "I want to know the White House. I want to be on a stage with the president and receive an award from him. I want an event with children. And I also want to meet Nancy. All that. Why not? Can you get it? "
Branca was given the task of obtaining a positive response in the shortest time possible, which was not entirely difficult due to the fascination of the Reagans with show business. And so, the meeting was scheduled for the morning of 5/14/84
For such an important occasion, President Reagan dressed in a navy blue suit, a gray and navy blue striped tie & a white shirt. Nancy,on the other hand, chose a white suit, Adolfo brand, adorned with buttons and gold stripes. Nothing too spectacular to overshadow Michael's attire: an electric blue sequined jacket, adorned with sequined laces, a band of golden sequins, and epaulettes with golden sequins. He also wore his famous white sequined glove.
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Two thousand people in total, including officials, admirers and security met in the central garden to see Michael.
Once everyone was up on stage, the Republican president pointed out that:
"Michael Jackson is proof of what a person can accomplish through a lifestyle free of alcohol or drug abuse. People young and old can respect that. And if Americans follow his example, then we can face up to the problem of drinking and driving, and we can, in Michael's words, beat it."
- a brief speech of just 5 and a half minutes. Then he handed a plaque to Michael, a gesture that he thanked before the microphone with an even more brief intervention, saying a mere 13 words:
"I'm very, very honored. Thank you very much, Mr. President and Mrs. Reagan."
https://reddit.com/link/1crpctu/video/r07t0142k80d1/player
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During his tour of the halls of the presidential residence, he showed his fascination with a portrait of Andrew Jackson, dressed in a military suit very similar to the blue sequins he wore that day.
Until Michael's visit, only Elvis Presley, received this distinction, in 1970, when President Richard Nixon opened the doors of the Oval Office. Michael would return to the White House twice more during the terms of George W. Bush, Sr & Bill Clinton
https://reddit.com/link/1crpctu/video/o2x9r4cyj80d1/player
1985 - Michael Jackson received a royalty check from Epic Records for $53 Million for sales from his Thriller album.
1988- Michael is on the cover of Fresh! magazine
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1996- Michael visits Chateau de Pierrefonds in Northern France, rumors were he wanted to purchase a French chateau.
The Château de Pierrefonds, classified as a historic monument and managed by the Center des monuments nationaux, was not for sale. Michael was aware of this so his visit was simply a pleasure visit.
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The guides at the Château de Pierrefonds keep the memory of this arrival, completely unexpected, on 5/14/96. They speak with pleasure of this moment when the King of Pop arrived, surrounded by his bodyguards, to discover this castle worthy of fairy tales.
According to one of the guides, he arrived in a limousine which he parked in front of the village pharmacy. Michael, in fact, came in a station wagon type car which parked as close as possible to the entrance to the castle.
Wearing a red jacket and his mask, Michael arrived late in the morning when there were not too many people. However, it was school field trip time and a group of children were present. One of the guides explains that he then hid in a corner, near the stairs where the visit to the castle begins, so as not to be seen and disturbed
Michael paused for a long time in front of the model of the castle, located at the end of the guard room. Made in 1878 for the Universal Exhibition, this stone model built at 1/50 scale remains impressive (height: 145cm, width: 250 cm, length: 350 cm). Michael's bodyguards reportedly took a lot of photos and it is said that Michael asked for the plans of the model.
What is certain is that Michael had a model of the castle made for his Neverland ranch. It measured 269cm x 335cm x365 cm. A little larger than the model present at the castle. Michael's model sat in the middle of his living room, with, for a time, a framed photo of the castle on the wall.
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The model was one of the objects that Julien's Auctions wanted to sell at auction in 2009, before Michael prevented this sale.
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Although shy and discreet, Michael did not hesitate to pose for photos with the employees, who were quickly aware of his presence
Michael also leaves a strong memory of his visit with employees through his visit to the site's souvenir shop. He spent a large sum on history books, an amount which, according to the guide, “is not seen every day here” .
2004 - The Defense team, headed up by Thomas Mesereau, have decided to agree with the DA's Office of Santa Barbara to uphold the gag order in the case against Michael. Mesereau wrote that he and his client support the gag order and withdrew any objections to it made by Jackson's prior counsel.
In court documents filed , Attorney Theodore Boutrous, who represents the news organizations, criticized Santa Barbara County DA Thomas Sneddon's condemnation of the intense media coverage.
"Eliminating the gag order will ensure that more accurate information will be disseminated, and will reduce the amount of rumors, speculation and gossip about which the District Attorney complains," Boutrous wrote.
The news organizations have been annoyed by Sneddon's clampdown on information about the case. They have asked the California Supreme Court to overturn the gag order on the grounds that it violates the freedom of speech guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.
Thomas Sneddon and Gerald Franklin, filed a motion earlier in the week, to the California Supreme Court to uphold the gag order in this case. He argued that the media was hoping to profit by pandering to a "gossip-hungry readership." He proceeded to write in his letter, "Despite the perhaps inevitable leaks, the public knows little more about the facts of this case than that Michael Jackson has been indicted on serious charges and that a jury will be asked to consider the evidence that may be presented to determine his guilt or innocence based on that evidence. And that's the way it should be."
Mr. Sneddon's letter was a response to the media's attorneys that wanted the gag order lifted which was imposed by the sitting judge in the case, Superior Court Judge Rodney Melville. The gag order prohibits participants involved in the case to discuss any particulars about the case to the media.
Sneddon argued in his letter that the news organizations have no standing to challenge the gag order because it applies only to case participants, not the media. He also said that such an order is required in a case that has drawn sensational worldwide attention.
"What is reported as fact becomes the nucleus of intense speculation, conjecture and discussion among commentators, particularly in the tabloid media and the audience they appeal to," Sneddon wrote. "Gossip -- and the 'news' tidbits that are gossip's grist -- translate into income."
2009 - In the last Family gathering Michael, Prince, Paris & Blanket attend Katherine & Joe's 60th wedding anniversary at the Indian Restaurant, Chakra in Beverly Hills with the whole family including all the grandchildren. Randy is the only one not in attendance. This is when most of Jackson siblings saw Michael for the first time since the 2005 Trial.This is also the last time Michael will see most of his family, including Janet & LaToya
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2009 - AEG sent a 2nd email to Conrad Murray
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2012 - Katherine Jackson & Brett Livingstone Strong give an interview on Piers Morgan Tonight. They show some of Michael's artwork
Brett Livingstone Strong is the artist responsible for "The Book", the only portrait that Michael ever posed for
https://preview.redd.it/gglbctazk80d1.jpg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e83dfc6cf3f6d505bb31a59f7c494cd269f62e2
2013- Day 11 of the Jackson vs Aeg Live trial
submitted by FelicitySmoak_ to WhereWasMJToday [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 11:36 AceBilal THINGS THAT NEED TO CHANGE IN FC24

With what happened with the Red picks for Ligue 1 and the NickRtfm siutation I have been thinking of all the things that need to change in this game. This game is infuriating. The amount of things that need to change in this game is actually astronomical. I'm gonna do my best to lay out all the problems I see and some solutions even if they are not be perfect.
1.SERVERS
For a company that boasts about making 1.5 billion in revenue the servers are actually terrible. The amount of DCs I have had while playing champs or rivals is unbelievable. Fix your servers. Understand that at content time the player base count will increase dramatically and account for that.
2.People quitting 0-0, 1-1 etc
Why are you not awarded a win when someone quits at the start of the game makes no sense to me. Especially when it's halfway through a game and they are doing it just to spite the other player. I've heard that they might not do this due to multiple reasons. If this is the case then only add it to CHAMPS at least
3.Corner glitches
The fact I have to 2nd man press and bring my player up short every time so that Roberto Carlos or whoever else has playstyle + whipped cross doesn't cross a ball in and some 6ft CB with aerial+ is dunking on my 5ft RB/LB is crazyyy. If it's not this it's another powershot corner BS tactic. Sort this AI out and do something to stop this OP tactic. Its too consistent and abused.
  1. Menus
Why is it I press R1 or L1 too quick the game freaks out and I have to restart it. Who coded this game where it is guaranteed to happen every day. I will have to restart my game every day multiple times.
  1. Pack weight
This has to be the scumiest ones of all. When EA put 100% guarantee on getting a TOTS or whatever promo. Why is it always the same 5 players worth 50k or less. I'd like to see the real chance of you packing the million + players. I honestly think that it's based on how much they are worth on the market exactly why you never see extinct players like CR7 or Mbappe. I'd rather see 0.000001% chance of packing Mbappe then see 100% guaranteed. Its too predatory that these packs are worth the price of full fledged games.
  1. Draft
What a boring game mode. The same thing for the past 8 years. What's the point going 4-0 if the best of my rewards are gonna be an 83 rated fodder player 90 % of the time. Make it more then 4 games. Make the rewards better. Incentivize players to actually wanna play this gamemode instead of ignoring this mode and just copy and pasting it every year.
  1. Rivals
I don't mind this gamemode with the recent change to rewards but the disparity in skill level with elite division makes no sense. I have played actual demons in div 3 and I have played some bots who seem like it's their first time playing in Elite Div. It doesn't matter what div you are in because it's gonna be win some lose some which is fine but I would hope it would be more consistent. I love the skill rating in Elite division but why is this limited to just Elite. Add it to all divisions. If I lose to someone better then me then I'm gonna be less inclined to say its DDA or luck.
7.5 Milestones rewards
How lazy can EA be. Honestly it's actually bewildering that they think it's acceptable to give us a tifo to get us to play games. What happened to rewarding people for playing their game instead of giving us 99% of the player base wont touch.
  1. Tifos/Season rewards
I DONT CARE ABOUT TIFOS. SPEND LESS TIME PAYING ARTISTS AND SPEND THAT ON YOUR GAME! How hard is it to put 500 fifa points in the rewards tab. Every other game with a battle pass system can give it out im pretty sure it won't hurt your pockets EA. And the levels of packs that are in season pass are abysmal. All this grind for every 10 levels to get something of value. Surely you can boost these packs this far into the game cycle. Not like I'm gonna pack anything of value with how shocking pack weight is anyway...
  1. ICON SBCS ROULETTE.
I don't need to pack another Winter wildcard icon worth nothing that I'd rather put into the exchange then play 1 second with in any game mode... I get that they don't want everyone running around with TOTY Ronaldo but at least make it worthwhile with limiting the bad player pool.
  1. FC PRO
It's actually disgusting how much EA forcefeed this dead eSports down our throats just so they have people watching them so their advertisements are happy they have someone watching. If they didn't put packs in to get people to watch I'm sure half or even more would dissappear. Make the gameplay more enjoyable and people would happily watch.
  1. SBC grind/Quality of Life
This is how I know EA just don't care or are too lazy to add any quality of life improvements. I have to give props to paleta the guy who made paletools. It basically has everything needed that EA should have added. And if he can do it on his own then why can't EA. In Madden AN EA GAME BTW you can filter through ratings. Why can't we do that in this game? JUST ASK THEM HOW THEY DID IT. I know it's probably different dev teams but they aren't gonna lose any money if you ask and if its a matter of coding it from the beginning then maybe it needs a revamp instead of a copy/paste.
-Duplicates. Add a button that let's me automatically put duplicates into an SBC. Searching through this dysfunctional menu to add a player is so tedious.
-Add a settings menu to see when you complete an objective in game. You have it visible when you play moments. Surely you can add a feature to turn this on and off during a game. Makes objectives so much easier. There are probably other quality of life improvements I am missing but I'm sure people in the comments can add a few.
This is from a fc24 player that is just tired of not having a good product of a game. To charge 70-100 pounds or dollars just to buy this game is a massive slap in the face. I haven't given many solutions to these problems but I know there are many so something can definitely be done. If you guys wants any change then boycott buying fc points. Hurt them where they will feel it the mosts. Their pockets. Then maybe some change will happen.
submitted by AceBilal to NickRTFM [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 11:30 trottolina_ie This collection should be in Ireland, shouldn't it?

For anyone who isn't an Irish Times subscriber, basically there is a large collection of art and documents on the Famine in storage in a university in Connecticut.
Alongside its archival collections of contemporary manuscripts, prints, letters and news reports, it brought together important paintings and installations by, among others, Jack B Yeats, Rowan Gillespie, Margaret Allen, Erskine Nicol, Alanna O’Kelly, William Crozier, Brian Maguire, John Behan, Hughie O’Donoghue, Michael Farrell, Geraldine O’Reilly, Dorothy Cross, Robert Ballagh, Grace Henry, Pádraic Reaney, Meg Chamberlain and James Arthur O’Connor.
These items have intrinsic value due to the artists (some Irish greats in that list!) but also due to their subject matter and the fact that they are all collected together. From what the article says the collection is now in storage without being professionally preserved.
I think we should get this collection home, and find a home for it - the question is where? In a new museum? The current National Famine Museum in Strokestown? The National Gallery? The National Museum (whichever site)?
EDIT: based on so many of the comments, maybe the call to action should be to get this collection preserved, housed, curated and displayed properly, whether here or the US. Instead of sitting in storage waiting…
submitted by trottolina_ie to ireland [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 10:41 Paper-Blackstar Tomorrow I escape

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.
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