I currently have an A50, and I guess I'll be needing a new one. It doesn't have to be just the A series.
There are a few features that I'd really like:

• A camera that functions. I love taking nature pictures, but the A50s camera is not good. I don't care about video capabilities. I don't record myself at all.
  
• I like being able to use my fingerprint to sign into things (Samsung Pass). I do not want to use facial recognition.
  
• I still talk to people on the phone, so I need the microphone to be adequate.
  
• I'm not doing any gaming that requires a lot of space, so it doesn't have to be the bigger screen or higher storage capacity.
  
• I don't need AI for everything. I need the ability to that turn it on/off. Along security lines, I need to be able to still turn permissions on/off for microphone and camera. If any phone doesn't allow me to disable apps having access to my camera or mic, I don't want it.
  

Thanks for any recommendations!

Senatorial Conference Room Snek Empire

"You call this a victory?" President OneSnek of the senatorial inquiry board bristled.
"Yes, I do!" Admiral Snekar III answered. "Hostilities have ceased, and we have access to all their resources. It was a textbook victory."
OneSnek's facial expression showed he was not having it. He continued his questioning, "Did they lower themselves to you? Did they grovel and plead for mercy? I don't care about textbook victories. I want real victories."
"I'm not sure if this is possible at all. Even when those giants lie down as flat as possible, they are still taller than us. How should we ask such a creature to lower itself for us?" The admiral wriggled nervously. "I made them grovel, though."
OneSnek eyed the admiral suspiciously and asked, "How were you able to subjugate these large creatures? The two previous assaults failed. Two armies killed to the very last Snek."
The admiral coughed and started to speak, "Through brilliance and strategic genius, I, Admiral Snekar the Third, Grand Marshal of the 2nd Fleet, First Overseer of the 12th Recon, and High General of the 15th Army—" His speech broke off when he saw a group of Sneks worming in with a projector and a battle-damaged droid. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Admiral," one of the senators answered, "we would like to save you from the tedious retelling of your encounters. Let us first watch the footage from this droid."
The admiral instinctively tried to dig down and escape his shame. Though it failed, it did not go unnoticed. Several senators gave him a thin smile. The entire operation was a disaster. To have it watched by others was the ultimate disgrace. If he was a bit more erect, he would rather have died. He was just too soft on the inside, he thought.
The projector screen showed how he positioned his troops. He was proud of it. They all were lined up in exact squares with exact spacing. His troops would make any commander proud on the parade field. His troops marched so much more neatly and orderly than the armies that tried before. The admiral struggled to refrain from commenting on how great this was. He knew what was coming.
The projector showed a colossal machine arriving on the scene, easily the size of an entire battalion. It was a massive vehicle, followed by a gigantic tank on wheels, connected by thick hoses. The tank began spraying a foul-smelling liquid onto his army. He sniffed and determined it was some kind of highly flammable substance. His army was done for. One spark and it was over. If one soldier fired, they were all dead.
Then a giant jumped off the machine. It was easily 20 times the height of an average Snek. It wore a large hat. It had a wicked grin on his face. Instead of a weapon, it had something glowing between its fingers. It put the glowing stick between his lips for a moment and smoke came bellowing out of its mouth when it said, "Make my day, punk."
The admiral lowered his head even further. He should have felt insulted. He should have died heroically with a final act of defiance. He did nothing. Just like now, he cowered and watched. Death did not come. He now wished it had.

Somewhere else, roughly around the same time.

The class of human schoolchildren stopped in front of a large building, and the teacher yelled at them to group up. In a loud voice, he continued, "This was a hospital. Sick people used to go here where doctors tried to make them better. It often did not work." The class gawked at the teacher. Thomas, unable to comprehend the horrible alternative, asked, "What happened if people did not get better?" The teacher, much softer now, answered Thomas, "They died, Thomas. They died."
Everyone in the class had shocked faces. "Did they not have Sneks?" Several pupils voiced the question that seemed to bother many. "No. We did not have Sneks. Not until 30 years ago with the first Snek Invasion. A wounded cat ate a live Snek, and the rest is history. Can you now all tell me the rhymes?"
The class started to drone:
"One Snek a day keeps the doctor away."
"Always bring your tweezers. Hand-fishing in the toilet is for underachievers."
"Wash your Snek before the rest. Dirty Sneks are a pest."

Senatorial Conference Room Snek Empire

The admiral steeled himself. He had to try and change the narrative, especially the picture of how Sneks were wriggling, pulled from something he did not want to remember ever again. Inside it was not as bad, but it became a whole other story when it mixed with air.
"We may have suffered a few indignities. A few minor infractions due to our huge cultural and biological differences. But look at the treasures we brought. One cargo hauler was full of mirrors. Another full of marbles."

On the way back to school

The teacher finished his story: "...and so we got the best deal ever."

Hello, thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you're having an amazing day and that everything is going well. I'm posting because well I'm definitely a helpless romantic and looking for my person who is out there in this world. I refuse to give up and hopefully, you're them! :)
For starters my name is Logan and I live in Ny. I'm 6'2 with dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes which I'm complimented on a lot. I'm in good shape from when I went to the gym a lot which I should be doing more often but we don't need to talk about that. I'm clean shaven as I hate having facial hair and I do have 2 tattoos! I think the self expression that comes from them is amazing but I'm not sure if I want more at this time. Im definitely down to exchange pictures so we know the other is real and not some weird person lol
I work in special education! I love my job a lot even though by the end of the day I am ready to collapse and nap. Teaching is one thing I've always been super passionate about and I love doing it so much! It's something I want to keep doing but we’ll see how the world goes.
My hobbies include reading, writing, playing video games, music, movies, animals, podcasts, daydreaming about the perfect first date, and telling myself to get to bed already as I should have been in bed two hours ago. That said I mostly just focus on being happy in life as for me that's the biggest goal one should be building up to.
For my personality, I would say I'm a mix between an introvert and an extrovert. I can get very awkward around people I don't know as I can get anxious but once I get to know you I'll talk your ear off for as long as you'll let me! My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a healthy amount of cuddles on top. I've always been called the mother hen of my friend group or everyone's own personal cheerleader so if you need someone in your corner I got you!
All I ask in return is to put your best foot forward when talking as it can be a hard let down having a one sided conversation and don't ghost. Always be nice and try to leave things better than when you found them, that goes for people as well. Also if you have an accent I will instantly fall for you too so definitely message if you have one of those!
But besides that, I mostly just hope to hear from you! I hope you have a good rest of your day and feel free to send me a message! If you do, why don't you tell me your favorite color so I know you read my whole post? It does a lot to know you're trying just as much as I am. Anyways thank you and have a good day :)

Lydia awoke with Waldo screaming. Lydia quickly got up and activated the magic stones lighting the room, Lydia did not see a reason for him to be screaming and was about to wake him when he went quiet. Lydia wondered what had happened and as she watched him she became concerned he was not breathing but just as she was about to shake him away he started breathing again then he began to weep in his sleep saying “I would take it back if I could. I did not know what it meant. Please, I never meant for this.” Lydia watched over him for several minutes as he repeated this over and over. Lydia did not know why but after a while she embraced him gently.
“It is ok. We all make mistakes.” Lydia said quietly holding him. She did not entirely know why she chose to do this as she felt some concern over what he was apologizing for having done but something made her decide to stay with him. Eventually, he stopped and started sleeping peacefully. Lydia slowly fell back to sleep after he quieted and returned to a peaceful state.
Lydia awoke again with Waldo sitting dressed on the edge of the bed. “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning.” Waldo replied, turning to Lydia. “Sorry, if I woke you in the night. I do not always sleep well.”
“I can understand that. It took almost a year before I could sleep through the night.” Lydia replied.
“I brought breakfast up. Kna mentioned I screamed in the middle of the night. I rarely have a companion… So I did not know. I guess I was extra loud last night. I woke some other patrons.” Waldo said calmly. Lydia climbed out of bed and dressed herself as Waldo watched her but when she looked at him she felt he was lost in his own mind.
"Copper for your thoughts.” Lydia said as she started to lace up her dress. Waldo walked over to her and helped her.
“I thought I knew who I was…but I remembered things last night…” Waldo said hollowly. “I don’t know what I was fighting for… All that time as a soldier and now I remembered… what I learned before arriving here and it isn’t what I thought.”
“Do you want to elaborate?” Lydia asked.
“I am not sure I know how.” Waldo said and there was silence for a moment.
“Well, maybe you should stay here if you don’t know why you were fighting. At least, until you figure out what you want.” Lydia said and feeling better about what she had heard last night she kissed him gently on the cheek. “Thank you. I would stay for breakfast but I need to get to work.” Lydia said, grabbing a piece of bread with an egg off the plate.
“Have a nice day and I hope to see you later.” Waldo said, as she headed toward the door.
“Good luck today!” Lydia said, smiling and left. Waldo collected several things from his pack then stored it under the bed and took the plate of food to the common room where he ate slowly. Waldo noticed that Lydia was not in the common room as he ate breakfast. Waldo did not have to wait long after finishing his breakfast before Strisk arrived.
“Good Morning!” Strisk waved at Waldo moving across the common room.
“Greetings Strisk.” Waldo replied standing and moving to meet him.
“Are you ready to go down to the training grounds?” Strisk asked.
“Yeah, let’s head out.” Waldo said, motioning for Strisk to lead the way.
“Are you in a hurry?” Strisk asked, leading Waldo out.
“No, nothing like that just…” Waldo stopped in the door exiting the inn as he looked out into the city. Waldo had expected Protham to be small but realized it had been dark when he arrived and late that is why he had not realized how expansive it was. Waldo saw a wall sixty or seventy feet tall. Waldo stepped into the street and could see a gate two hundred or so feet down the road in one direction and in the other there was what appeared to be a small square. “How big is Protham?”
“It is just a small village, only five thousand or so. Most people are employed in fishing the lake or harvesting trees.” Strisk replied. “The gnolls recently opened a college here… Something about ley lines and increased power, but that is not my expertise.”
“I am surprised they even care about the ley line. The planet is so saturated with magic I would have thought everyone can easily use it.” Waldo responded.
“I wouldn’t know about that. Are you a mage?” Strisk asked.
“I cannot use magic… I can still feel it pooling.” Waldo said, wondering why he could feel it still since he now knew he could not use it. “It must be something to do with the leveling. I wonder if there is a construct powering the whole system.”
“You are suggesting a magic artifact causes people to level?”Strisk asked, shocked at the strangeness of the idea.
“Um… So I assume it is a mage college of some kind they opened?” Waldo asked, trying to change topics.
“Yeah. I would have suggested going and seeing the head there about your teleporting but from what I have heard they see almost no one who isn’t a student.” Strisk said, starting to walk down the street. Waldo followed, taking in the people and the streets. Waldo noticed most people were gnollish he saw drakes as well but it seemed to be ten to one.
“Lydia said you are a Drake. I have never learned to identify the scaled races apart from one another. It appears that Protham is mostly gnolls and Drakes. What makes a drake a drake and not say a lizardfolk?” Waldo asked, carefully.
“Lydia is right. I am a Drake. Lizardfolk always have tails. Drakes rarely have tails and those that do have a tail almost always have wings. That is usually the easiest way to tell us apart but it is more nuanced. A healthy Drake’s scales are vibrant, we stand out. A healthy lizardfolk has duller scales. Drakes can have horns or spikes across their head and back but never hair. Lizardfolk never have horns but can grow spikes. Usually they grow something more like a fin, which can be over their head or even down their chin to their chest. All the facial features are nuanced except the eye. Drake’s eyes face forward. Lizardfolk’s eyes face out enough to easily tell if you look at them.” Strisk explained calmly. “Kobolds are short but look like Drakes with a tail and all the other scaled races have gills.”
“Thank you. I realize that might have been rude to ask but I assume it is ruder to make a mistake.” Waldo said as they continued to make their way through the mostly empty streets.
“Most drakes consider it the pinnacle of rudeness to mistake us for the lizardfolk. Well the lizardfolk seem indifferent. I once saw a short Lizardman get mistaken for a Kobold and they laughed about it. Well a few days ago I had to break up a bar fight cause a gnoll called a drake a lizard.” Strisk said. “My people need to calm down about being mistaken for another race. Most cannot even tell the other races apart. No offense, but I assume you are a human because Lydia is one without looking at your ears, which are currently covered by your hair you could pass for an elf in my eyes and if you told me you were a dwarf I would believe it… even though, I think you are too tall to be a dwarf.” Waldo laughed at Strisk’s words.
“An elf you say?” Waldo said, smiling and moving his hair from over his ears. “I am a human. However, I can understand the confusion. Even among humans it is possible for some to mistake another human as one of our kin races.”
“Kin race?” Strisk asked.
“Yes, races that share certain broad features and where half races are possible.” Waldo said.
“Then would Drakes not be a Kin race.” Strisk asked.
“You ever seen a half human and half drake?” Waldo asked.
“Well no, but I was told it was possible.” Strisk said, wondering.
“Possible for our race's women’s bodies to respond as if they are creating a blend. However, it is largely my understanding no blend has survived birth. Maybe one is out there but largely our internal anatomy; bone structure, organ placement, organs in general, and finer points don’t blend into something that survives birth if a pregnancy occurs which to my knowledge is extremely rare and usually it is a half race not a full where that can occur according to one report I read most mothers die in labor if they carry the blend to term and the child still dies.” Waldo said calmly. Strisk stopped.
“How do you know this?” Strisk asked. Waldo thought about it for a moment. Realizing he did not know how to explain having millions of years of knowledge on hand a little surprised he had so easily recalled something from another life. As he thought about it he wondered how he could so easily access it. Then he knew. Four of his prior selves had learned to build a mind palace. When the Orc had implanted all the memories, those four had combined their knowledge and laid out everything, which made him wonder how he knew about the interbreeding of humans and drakes, which brought forth the memories of four doctors. One of which was drake. Strisk watched as Waldo stared off into the distance. Suddenly, Waldo went pale and threw up in the street. “What the hell?” Strisk said, jumping back to avoid getting splattered.
“Sorry.” Waldo said, feeling queasy. Waldo pushed the doctor’s memories away realizing he was not ready to go exploring all the memories aimlessly. Waldo pulled out his hip canteen and washed his mouth out. Spitting the water down a nearby drain “Damn. I was hoping to not have to eat until dinner. I assume the interview will have a combat skills test?” Waldo asked, looking at Strisk.
“Well yes, but what was that?” Strisk asked, feeling the response was unjustified for his question.
“Oh, right, your question. Um… I went to a memory I should have left alone. I was thinking about my time studying… when I strayed into an incident.” Waldo said, trying to explain without lying.
“An incident?” Strisk asked.
“I expect there are things you have seen as a city guard you would rather not remember.” Waldo replied, carefully.
“Oh… you mean something like that. I can understand that. Let’s continue on. Just another block or so.” Strisk said, letting Waldo follow him. Neither said anything until they got to the city's barracks. They had crossed near the center of town and were now at a lakeside gate that had a training arena with a large gatehouse next to it.
“How many positions is the guard filling?” Waldo asked as they approached the building.
“We are adding five new full time positions in hope of growth due to the mage college, three part time, and around fifty new reservists.” Strisk said and then opened the gatehouse’s front door.
“Good Morning, Strisk!” A female voice behind the counter greeted as they entered.
“Good Morning, Violet.” Strisk replied. “Is Trag in?”
“Yes, he got in a bit ago and…Who are you?” Violet asked, staring at Waldo as he entered the gatehouse.
“Waldo Winter.” Waldo said, step into the room and bowing slightly to the human girl behind the counter.
“He is with me. Violet. He arrived in town last night under strange circumstances.” Strisk said.
“Is he why you are meeting with Trag this early?” Violet asked, keeping her eyes on Waldo. “Is he a criminal?”
“Yes to the meeting with Trag and not as far as I am aware. You haven’t done anything illegal have you?” Strisk asked, grinning Waldo.
“Admittedly, I have not read your legal code, but assuming it follows traditional patterns of legal codes for structured societies. Not in this city. At least, I very much doubt I have.” Waldo said, smiling lightly at Violet.
“What are you doing here then?” Violet asked.
“Apart from identifying myself to local authorities due to the strange way I arrived. Hopefully, applying for a job.” Waldo stated. Violet frowned.
“Are you applying for citizenship in Protham or just submitting notice of intent to work in Protham?” Violet asked.
“Notice of intent to work, at this time.” Waldo replied, moving up to the desk as Strisk stepped away. Violet handed him a sheet of paper and pulled out a second enchanted page.
“Good luck finding work here. There are not many jobs outside of scribe, barworker, or general laborer for humans in Protham. The Drakes and Gnolls are larger and stronger than humans naturally and they are basically hiring enforcers right now.” Violet whispered to Waldo. “Where are you staying?”
“The Spriggan Inn.” Waldo said, looking at the form, surprised he could read it. As he started to fill out the form he remembered a passage about grown arrivals passing between world and being gifted languages of the worlds they arrived on from death. Waldo tried to remember the author's reasoning for the gift but could not. Waldo wished he had learned written gnollish languages but had only learned their spoken languages.
“How did you come to be there?” Violet said, showing surprise.
“Long story short…Some sort of teleportation accident.” Waldo answered, focused on completing the form.
“Wow… Lucky.” Violet said, thinking it strange he appeared in the only inn with a human working in it in Protham.
“Yes, but I suspect there is a good reason for that.” Waldo said, handing her the completed form.
“You how to read Grofeas gnoll?” Strisk asked, looking at Waldo holding the form out to Violet. “You said you had not heard of this country last night.” Violet took the form looking suspiciously at Waldo.
"No, I am familiar with other gnollish written languages and this is close enough to them that I guessed. Please check that and make sure my responses make sense.” Waldo said, looking at Violet. Waldo smiled at his omission. He was familiar with several gnoll written languages and had learned a few key words like bathroom, food, and price but had not even memorized their alphabet. Violet started to look over the document carefully. Waldo noticed the enchanted page on the desk had a picture of his face on it now with a list of several things about him, such as height, an approximate weight, and the like. Waldo heard a low growl with several inflections. Waldo looked at the gnoll standing by Strisk.
“Would you mind repeating that? I am not sure I quite heard what you said, because I thought you called me a fur lover.” Waldo said, looking narrowly at the gnoll. The gnoll made several more growls at Waldo. The gnoll had reddish brown fur and stood a little shorter than Strisk. Waldo thought the gnoll would probably be considered extremely handsome among gnolls. He was well groomed and clearly muscled under the fur. He even wore a steel breastplate that was polished to a shine. Waldo saw a stamp over his right peck that appeared to be a runic enchantment.
“Because I am not. I learned it at the time because my life depended on it. The gnolls I met were not as affluent as you are here and only knew one language. Their own. I had to learn it or live without speaking. Their treatment of me would have killed me if I had not learned their language. They knew next to nothing of humans and were a tribe secluded in the mountains. They meant well, but due to the harsh circumstances of the location I was slowly dying from starvation and exposure. It took four weeks to learn enough for rough communication after which I found them to be extremely friendly and curious. I spent two years with that tribe before making contact with a human settlement in the area. I managed to broker a peace there because I learned gnollish. So I continued my education and have since learned various spoken dialects.” Waldo responded to the newcomers' growls calmly.
“Why don’t you respond in gnollish?” The gnoll asked, changing languages. Waldo growled back in several inflections and moved a hand. Violet had noticed hand movements when gnolls growled and never associated it with them speaking but Waldo’s movements were so pronounced she realized it had to be part of the gnollish language. “Fair enough. I am Captain Trag. Strisk says you are a soldier.”
“Wait what did you say?” Violet asked Waldo.
“Violet. Don’t be rude.” Strisk chided, curious himself but having held himself back.
“I am sorry. I have just never seen a non-gnoll speak gnollish” Violet said, almost involuntarily. Trag slapped Strisk across the back of the head.
“Strisk, she is our scribe, do not order her around.” Trag said, smiling. Waldo got the sense that Trag did not like Strisk.
“I explained human throats are not well formed for the gnollish language, which hurts my throat the more I speak it and makes my accompanying hand movements more pronounced than is proper.” Waldo explained to Violet.
“Can you teach me?” Violet asked, seeing how beneficial it would be to know gnollish in her job.
“We can talk after the interview.” Waldo said, smiling at Violet.
“Right, sorry. Thank you.” Violet replied looking over at Trag apologetically.
“Excuse me for interrupting your conversation Violet. I will make sure to send Waldo back once we are done.” Trag said, smiling at Violet then turning to Waldo. “What level of soldier are you? Or is it some other fighting class?”
“I don’t have any levels in fighting classes.” Waldo replied.
“And you want to be a city guard?” Trag said looking angrily at Strisk who looked at Waldo surprised.
“Wait, are you a medic of somekind?” Strisk asked, remembering the other night.
“No, just give me a chance. We should go to the training ground if combat assessment is to be a large part of this process.” Waldo stated, a little surprised they had started asking questions in the entrance.
“It is. We can train you in Protham legal code, but we rarely do combat training for our guards; most people come to us with twenty or more levels in a combat class, when they are applying to be a guard.” Trag stated, as Waldo opened the door.
“Where I come from people do not rely on the leveling systems for combat training.” Waldo started walking to the training grounds as Trag and Strisk followed.
“Where are you from?” Trag asked.
“Halcyon. Heard of it?” Waldo asked, knowing the reply.
“Nope.” Trag replied, thinking this human could never keep up with a gnoll or drake in a fight. “What are you wearing?” Trag asked, no longer able to hold back the question as the human looked very strange to him.
“Desert Armored Combat Fatigues, my throwing knives, combat knife, an assortment of tools I have found useful over the years, and a magic sling.” Waldo said, touching different things on his body. “The armor is stab resistant and there are several metal plates spread out in the fabric. If I get the job I would like to wear this until I can afford to get some locally made gear.”
“A magic sling?” Trag asked.
“Yeah, but I have limited ammo for it. It only works with special magic ammo and I doubt you have that here.” Waldo replied.
“Have you heard of a magic sling Strisk?” Trag asked.
“No, that is new to me.” Strisk replied. “I thought you could not use magic.”
“I cannot not cast a magic spell but this is an artifact. I could teach anyone to use it. If I had unlimited ammo or access to a bullet manufacturer I would be happy to show it off but I only have ninety rounds for it.” Waldo explained.
“How long have you been a soldier?” Trag asked, Waldo had seen himself in a mirror and knew they would not believe the truth. Waldo looked like he was in his prime but Halcyon slowed aging massively Waldo was older than any human got to normally and he was still unsure if he had died or Death’s healing had further reduced the effects of aging.
“Nine years.” Waldo replied, pushing it as far as he thought he could. Waldo had put his age down as twenty nine on the form, but knew he looked closer to twenty now. “I expect I will be sparing with one of you?”
“No, we are waiting for your sparring partners. I sent for two reservists. They generally are not needed for regular guard shifts and if they are injured it should not interfere with their regular jobs.” Trag stated, show us how good you are with throwing knives.
“Alright.” Waldo said, pulling four of the weighted knives from their sheaths. Waldo carried twelve in all. Four on his left leg, two on each arm and four on his chest. Waldo started by juggling the knives as he moved into position to throw them. Waldo smoothly plucked them out of the air as he was juggling them and launched them one after another in quick succession down the lane, with the knives sinking deep into the wooden target in a tight group.
“For having no skills that is pretty good. Now for the moving targets.” Trag said, with Waldo looking back at him as he pressed a button. Waldo watched as the targets began to move side to side. Waldo could tell this was intended for arrows as the range was longer than he would usually throw when it came to moving targets.
“May I move up or do you want me to throw from here?” Waldo asked.
“Tark throws from there.” Trag replied, Waldo grabbed two more knives, throwing them half a second after looking back at the target. Both landed bullseyes but Waldo could feel the strain on his muscles. He was not used to this distance. Waldo pulled two more and turned his back to the targets. Waldo slowly strafed toward the center of the range as he had started to the right side. After a moment making sure to give the targets time to move he spun around and with one hand launched both knives. One landed in a bullseye, but the other fell short. Waldo turned his back to the targets and drew all of his remaining knives placing them at the ready in one hand. Waldo turned and threw three and turned back around quickly. He heard 2 thuds and one that was a clang. He was not sure what the third had hit. Waldo spun around and sent his final knife down the lane hitting another bullseye. The three quick throws were not bullseyes but they had all hit targets.
“That is all the throwing knives I carry.” Waldo said. “Shall I collect them?”
“No, Strisk go get the knives and report back on how deep they are.” Trag said, turning the moving targets off. Waldo moved over to Trag as Strisk retrieved the knives. “Only one complete miss, that is not bad. If you are hired then we are gonna have to replace the knives with some weighted rods. We can issue you some bolas while on duty. Unless a kill order is issued, but most the time we will expect people to be taken alive.”
“Understandable. What is a bolas?” Waldo asked.
“It is three pieces of rope tied to each other on one end and has a weight on the other side. When throwing it, the intent is to hit a person's legs and if it works correctly it will wrap around a fleeing person’s legs and trip them. In town it can be tricky to use and for people they have lighter weights. It was originally used to hunt various animals on the plains. If the weights are too heavy they can break bones.” Trag said, explained. “What class are you?”
Waldo had been preparing for this question since they had asked him earlier. “Diplomat.” Waldo replied.
“You have no levels in a combat class but you are a diplomat as a soldier?” Trag questioned.
“When I use skills from it as a soldier it is generally in interrogations, but my personal goal was to try and find less violent solutions to my nation's disputes. So, I ended up becoming a diplomat. The times I acted in that capacity I was glad to have trained as a soldier. Few people seem to want peaceful resolutions. So as a diplomat I have often been met with violence.” Waldo explained twisting the truth. They stood in silence as they waited for Strisk to finish retrieving the knives. Strisk handed Waldo eleven of the knives and Trag one of the knives.
“Six perfect hits. Three near perfects. Two hits. One miss. Ten hits were all very deep. The one that made the clang hit a metal frame holding the target. It dented the metal and chipped his knife.” Strisk reported as Waldo sheathed the eleven knives he had been handed. Waldo looked at Trag just in time to catch his face returning to a neutral state after what Waldo believed to be a frown.
“How is your hand to hand combat proficiency?”Trag asked.
“I am an expert with a knife, however, I could easily swap it out for a padded baton. It would be harder on me, but I am sure I can hold my own.” Waldo said, showing the knife sheathed across his lower back and trying to determine Trag’s mood. Trag examined the knife and could see it was custom made for Waldo and well used.
“Strisk, you are good to go on patrol. Your partner should be ready about now.” Trag said, with a hint of sadness.
“I was hoping to stay and see him fight the reservists.” Strisk said, a little excited and as Strisk said that it clicked for Waldo.
“No one is coming. To test my combat proficiency.” Waldo said, calmly. “Sorry, Strisk. I should have known better.”
“We should go to my office and talk.” Trag said and handed Waldo the chipped knife Strisk had handed him.
“Wait, why?” Strisk asked, Trag.
“Politics, Strisk. Guardsmen are just a little political, which means Trag cannot hire another human. Especially, not in a citizen-facing role.” Waldo said, with a smile. “Am I right?”
“Violet, is our scribe. Citizen’s see her.” Strisk said looking confused.
“Violet is my scribe. She assists with filing and compiling guardsmen reports. She has only covered the front desk on a few occasions and usually it is to give another scribe a break or chance to go to the bathroom.” Trag stated.
“Strisk, thank you for introducing me to Captain Trag. I truly appreciate this opportunity. I would be happy to speak to you in your office Trag.” Waldo said, smiling at both of them.
“Sorry, Waldo… I didn’t realize.” Strisk said dejectly. Waldo laughed lightly.
“You have done no harm at all and even helped me file documents I needed to in order to stay. You introduced me to your Captain. Strisk, you have been nothing but helpful. Please do not feel sorry.” Waldo said, smiling at Strisk.
“Thanks, I guess I should get going.” Strisk said, clearly feeling better. “Sir. Waldo.” Strisk said, nodding his head to each of them and leaving. Trag started heading towards the guard house and motioned for Waldo to follow, which Waldo did in silence. Trag opened the door and sure enough Violet was no longer at the front desk. There was a male Drake scribe sitting behind the counter.
“Sir.” The drake said, standing up to greet them. Trag waved his hand and the drake sat back down. Waldo followed him up a set of stairs and down a hall to an open room with three scribes working on various documents on a table big enough for four, one of which was Violet.
“Your morning report sir.” A female gnoll scribe said, smiling at Trag and holding a folder. She noticed Waldo and her demeanor changed slightly. She glanced at Violet as Trag grabbed the folder.
“Thank you. I have a meeting for a few minutes. Is there anything urgent?” Trag gestured at Waldo. The scribes all looked up and gave a negative nod. “If needed you may interrupt us.” Trag said, opening his office door and leading Waldo into his office. It was a plain room. There were several chairs facing the back of the room with a large desk and chair behind it facing the door. There were two sturdy looking bookcases organized with an assortment of documents. The room was clean and orderly. A couch sat against one wall with a window behind it that had shutters and Waldo noticed a plain axe with a rope next to it leaning against a bookcase. “Please take a seat.” Trag said, opening the folder as he moved around the desk and sat down. Waldo sat across from him. They sat in silence as Trag read over a few reports. “Thank you for your patience.” Trag said look up from the report.
“Anything important?” Waldo asked.
“No, just the normal going on. Except for you of course.” Trag said.
“Yeah, I made a surprising entrance last night.” Waldo agreed.
“Teleportation has a tendency to create some alerts. If Strisk had not reported your arrival last night, the guard may have interrupted your welcome to our fine city.” Trag replied.
“That report is more thorough than I would have liked.” Waldo stated.
“Kna is a friend and Aer is a gossip.” Trag replied.
“I should have waited in the common room. We could have talked last night.” Waldo guessed.
“Doubtful, but I would have known your face this morning if you had.” Trag stated.
“I had hoped this was an offer for contract work of some kind.” Waldo said, frowning slightly.
“It still might be. I have not determined what to do about you.” Trag replied.
“Oh, well is there something you would like cleared up?” Waldo asked, smiling.
“Kna is worried about one of her barmaids. Aer has never seen her friend respond so positively to someone so quickly.” Trag stated, calmly. Waldo knew they were straying into dangerous territory.
“I have never responded to another human as positively.” Waldo replied, honestly.
“Just two soulmates meeting for the first time?” Trag asked, Waldo jerked in surprise at the word reacting before he could stop himself. Waldo realized Trag did not mean it the way he had taken it but it was too late. Trag had been watching him closely and was now looking unsure at Waldo. “I think you have some explaining to do.” Trag said, prepared to strike. Waldo leaned forward and placed his head in his hand dropping his show.
“This cannot under any circumstances leave this room. If you have listeners they need to stop. If you have a way to make the room secure. I will tell you enough to know why.” Waldo said, unsure of what would happen next.
“What, so can you kill me in silence?” Trag asked, feeling concerned about this stranger's response.
“If you want to tie me up feel free, but I am not talking until I am confident the secret won’t leave this room.” Waldo said, sitting back and calming his nerves. Waldo was trying to figure out how to explain this with as little lying as possible. Waldo wondered if he could avoid lying all together. Trag hesitated for a minute then opened a drawer and pulled out a small box. Trag said a command word under his breath and the box activated.
“Alright, we are alone and no one can see or hear us. This better be good or I won’t keep your secret.” Trag said.
“Have you ever been in love so much it hurt your soul?” Waldo asked.
“What?” Trag asked, surprised.
“I have. If I had understood this was possible. If I had known. I would have done so many things differently.” Waldo said, deciding to be as honest as he felt he could. “I thought she was dead. I joined the wrong people to get vengeance. To make it stop. In doing, so I pissed off some really powerful people. I thought my master was strong enough to protect me and I thought I was powerful enough to protect myself. I want to tell Lydia so bad. I want her to remember our time together. Every second we spent together. If I had magic this would be so easy but using magic to accomplish it would be wrong.” Waldo said, with tears in his eyes. “I wish I could just show her. However, the people I pissed off took my ability to use magic. I did not even know that was possible.” Waldo said, holding out an open palm. “Light.” Trag felt magic tug slightly, but nothing happened. “They took my magic so I could not interfere. When they did that I thought they would send me to a prison cell or some equally horrible place. They cursed me with unwanted knowledge I can barely grasp. Part of my mind is still trying to rip itself apart. But instead of sending me to a desert. They toss me like I am nothing and I land inside Spriggan Inn, in Protham barely even hurt. I did know she was the same soul at first. Standing in the dim light of the inn. She looks the same. Alive working as a barmaid in a place I have never even heard of. She doesn’t even remember me but she was drawn to me just like I was to her all those years ago.” Waldo said. “Kna is worried I might hurt her and honestly so am I. However, if we are to separate again I would have her tell me to go. It would be the most painful thing I ever do but I would leave if she asked. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but I have found my dead lover again, my soulmate and I never thought I would see her. She died so I figured that was it. I did not know about the cycle but now I do. So please give me the chance to win her.” Waldo finished with tears at the corners of his eyes. “Please, I am begging you.” Trag knew Waldo was leaving part out but felt he was being honest and looking at Waldo Trag knew he held this man’s life in his hands at this moment. Trag looked at Waldo and activated several skills he had for conversations like this. Trag knew Waldo did not intend harm at this time or harm to his city.
“For the moment. You have convinced me.” Trag said, still slightly concerned, something about him bothered Trag, but Trag was confident the stranger would be unlikely to deliberately cause problems in Protham.
“Thank you for giving me a chance. I will prove I mean no harm.” Waldo said, starting to recover his composure. Trag grabbed the rope and axe, placing them on his desk.
“Do you know how to cut down a tree?” Trag asked.
“Yes.” Waldo replied.
“As captain of the guard. I am allotted two trees every year. The town allows me to do as I will with the tree tokens, I am issued. The mill will pay me five gold per token on average. However, If I cut the tree down and turn in the tree with the token they will right now pay eight gold. If you cut a tree down and turn it in for me. I will let you keep two gold coins of those eight.” Trag stated placing a token on the table.
“Sounds like a good deal.” Waldo replied.
“Have you hunted boar?” Trag asked.
“I have hunted. Not specifically boar but I am familiar with the complexities they present.” Waldo replied, wondering where this was going.
“Currently, we have a boar problem on the western road and several groups have been attacked by boars. It is quite troublesome. Protham does not have an adventuring guild and most hunters will hunt safer game or only kill one or two boars at a time. You can rent a hand cart for a day for three coppers at the docks. Usually they are used to transport fish around town. They are sturdy carts and can hold several hundred kilos. There are several blacksmiths in town that sell quality steel tipped javelins, for a silver. Now they are not perfect for hunting boar but they should work well enough. Currently, I have placed a bounty on boar kills of a silver per boar jaw turned in. We will even buy the dead boar for one and half coppers per five pounds. However, you could show us the boar, collect the silver, then most local butchers will buy dead boar for two copper per five pounds. Those are the current rates for whole boars” Trag explained.
“Sounds like I have a tree to chop down.” Waldo said standing.
“Out the main gate past the mill and then pick an un-worked tree the taller the better. They pay less for trees shorter than twenty feet and more for trees taller than twenty five feet. If you are willing to search there are some forty and fifty footers out there. I expect six gold regardless.” Trag stated.
“Why are you doing this?” Waldo asked.
“It is not one thing. Lots of little things adding up. Kna is a friend and Lydia is important to her. Kna knows I cannot employ you as a guard. This keeps you out of trouble. Solves a problem for me and if you work hard. Kna might start to like you. I was not going to be able to cut my second tree down before the end of the year. There are more reasons, but in the end, I see no downside for me giving you this chance.” Trag stated plainly.
“Well thank you. I appreciate this.” Waldo said and picked up the axe smiling.
“Good Luck. I plan to eat dinner at Spriggan Inn. So if you get back after sunset you can find me there.” Trag said, gesturing for Waldo to leave.
“Thank you, again!” Waldo said, leaving. After he closed the door he looked for Violet but she was not there. Waldo headed to the stairs back to the entryway. Violet wasn’t there either so he left a message for her and headed back to the Inn. Waldo wanted to ditch his armor before heading out to cut down a tree.

Hi everyone! I've looked at a few different sources, and they kind of conflict.
The closest classification I have found so far is Dominion (leader instincts) from this fandom page, but other sources don't put Dominion as the right type for me.
I have one pair of wings (kind of under my shoulderblades, white, feathery, not HUGE but when drawn in reach from my head to knee in height) false eyes under my main eyes, and a glowing white halo. Other than that it's just my human body.
I also don't have a patronage but it feels like that's a "not yet" thing.
Any advice, or might I just be nonspecified (temporarily?)?
Edit for more info: Sometimes I picture myself in monochrome with a pair of white head wings (where human ears are), a blacked-out face and white glowing eyes / shifting facial features at will.

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I'm the creator of the webcomic "The Wild Blue" (ThWiBl for short), and I'm looking for some volunteers to help give me feedback on my story content and critique each new episode as I complete them. We would be using a discord server as the main communication hub.
The Wild Blue is a slice-of-life sci-fi comedy/drama following an ensemble cast attending The Cyrian Flight Academy, the top flight school in the galaxy. The cast all experiences their own forms of culture shock from life at the academy, and the way they've lived their lives up to that point is constantly being challenged in wacky and sometimes heartbreaking ways. Later on in the story, hints of corruption at the academy begins to paint a different picture of the formerly idyllic setting of the story, and that further exposes that the world of The Wild Blue may not be as utopian as it may have seemed. The story is commentary on high society, the dangers of blind loyalty to one's family and the worldviews given to you by your upbringing.
The world the story takes place in is sci-fi, but the ground-level setting of the comic is very contemporary to keep things relatable to the audience.
The art style for ThWiBl is primarily made from 3D assets to speed up production time, with characters created in VRoid studio. The characters' facial features are drawn over the models, to maintain a hand drawn feel. This has been a point of contention for some, but I spent 5 years drawing my last webcomic every day and I was pretty burnt out, so I needed to streamline the process this time around.
ThWiBl currently releases differently on different platforms. The story is released in chapters on platforms like Tapas and Webtoon, but on social media like Facebook and Instagram, the chapters are split into smaller episodes, labeled as subchapters, (eg chapter 13.2, chapter 13.3, etc), each made up of 8 slides and a title card. The episodes release every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I complete new episodes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.
At the time of writing this, I'm currently working on chapter 62.8, which is the 313th episode, so there would be some catch up required if you're not already familiar with the series. I'm also very far ahead of schedule, so that early access can be given to my Patreon supporters. My goal is to reach the end of the story by chapter 150.
As an editor, I would be looking for story feedback, constructive criticism on the overall plot, character development, pacing, and dialogue, as well as a sounding board for future plotlines. I'll also be looking for detailed feedback on each individual episode, focusing on things like narrative flow, engagement, and any inconsistencies. Despite being silly and wacky on the surface, each character is fully fleshed out with their own perspectives and motivations informed by their childhoods and the traumas that they experienced therein, so someone who likes to look deeper into character motivations beyond what's on the surface would be preferred.
If you join me as an editor, you'll receive credit on my website and The Wild Blue's social media pages, you'll get to read episodes of The Wild Blue before they are released to the public, even before the highest tier Patreon members get them, and you'll get to work closely with me and influence the direction of the story.
You can take a look at the comic for reference here
And just as a content warning for those with reservations: ThWiBl has sparse elements of violence, sexual themes and dialogue, plot lines involving LGBT themes, and anthropomorphic characters, but none of these elements are the focus of the story. If you find any of this offensive, this role may not be for you.
Anyone interested, please send me a DM or an email to [BrianLSComics@gmail.com](mailto:BrianLSComics@gmail.com).
Thanks for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you!
— Brian LS

Please Read
Hey there, thanks for reading thought I should do one of these to make everything a little more streamlined. I’m 23m st8, switch lean dom.
Main kicker is I live in Australia so time zones are usually a struggle especially if you’re in Europe. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to try but just know that it might require some flexibility on both of our parts. Generally looking for long term more detailed rp but depending on how I’m feeling we could do a string of shorter rp’s (one per session).
As for the type of rp, I am usually up for a fandom if I know much about it. Or OC can definitely work there just needs to be a clear vision for it to keep some structure. I’m open to most settings, fantasy, historical, modern, futuristic, war, steampunk (other minimal technology futures).
Main history times I’m into: Ancient Rome/Greece, Medieval, founding of Americas, Vikings ect.
Fandoms: Marvel, DC, Harry Potter, Star Wars, ATLA, TLOU, HTTYD, Zelda, Arcane, Disney, Tomb Raider, Avatar (James Cameron). Open to more that I can’t think of
Kinks: cheeky, playful teasing, skirts, oversized hoodies, passionate/romantic fucking, aftercare, cum on face, clothed sex, cute, rough sex, spanking, creampies, hair pulling, facials, throat fucking, titjobs, spit, messy sex, dirty talk, pictures/recording, cheating, public, hold the moan/sneaky sex, and casual nudity/sex, red ass, leaking cum, humiliation, exhibitionism, cumplay, impregnation, taboo, interracial, guilt, emotions, character development, seduction, switch girls
Limits: gore, scat, vomit, latex, feet, any weird stuff
This is just a general list and I’m open to most things really.
If a post is up on my profile then it’s still open. When you message please start with a short introduction that comes with minimum kinks and limits + anything else you think appropriate and this emoji so I know you’ve read this “🥝”. Some sort of idea/contribution to the plot would be appreciated too. Since I’m looking for long term rp I would like to get to know you a little bit (nothing too personal) but totally understand if you’re not into that whole internet friend thing.
Anyway hope to hear from you so we can build a story we can both enjoy

PLEASEEE be over your ex before messaging me.
PLEASE be 28 or older. Do not send pointless messages saying "Good luck" or "I wish I were single". Do not message me if you're taken.
Facts about moi:
* I work with smol humans for a living.
* You don't have to WANT kids of your own. But, if you don't like kids...you're not for me.
* One of my favorite past-time activities is trying to put together legos high.
* Listening to music high is also an experience (I do Delta since that’s what’s legal. If you’re anti-weed, then we aren’t a match. I don’t do it allll the time. I’m too broke for that life).
* Seriously, doesn't music sound different when you're high?
* Green Day used to be one of my favorite bands. I started listening to them when I wad ten.
* The obsession was real. My ten-year-old self had a binder about the members with all the facts and pictures of Billie (Yes, I was a weird child). I don´t listen to them much anymore. That was practice for my obsession with Panic! at the Disco. I only like one album, though.
* Now my obsession is more towards bands like AVOID, Dayseeker, The Used, etc. I'll listen to the same songs over and over until I can't stand it. I even have a Playlist for that. I recently found a band called Dark Devine, and I dig them.
* I love going to concerts. So, it'd be cool if you liked them too.
* I love love love traveling.
* Please don’t be a giant grouch on vacations. Coworkers complain about their spouse being a shitbird on trips. No thanks.
* I also like staying in, of course! But I’m not a homebody. I struggled during the COVID shutdown. Being cooped up SUCKED. I do not want to beg you to get out of the house. Again, I am NOT a homebody. If you are, we are not a match.
* I have a spicy brain.
* I’m super duper ADHD. Fun times! I’m also like an anxious puppy. Woop woop.
* The most organized thing in my life is this list
* The Office and Parks and Rec are two of my favorite shows. I also like Bob’s Burgers and Avatar The Last Airbender.
* I don't watch a whole lot of TV, honestly...my ADHD brain enjoys the short videos on Tiktok.
* I talk to myself out loud in public.
* I promise I'm only a little crazy...depends on who you ask.
* I like things like tarot (NO I cannot do a card reading for you. I don't know how, I just think it's cool!My friend does readings for me) and other spiritual stuff. If you're into that too, cool!
* I like men with facial hair. I also like men who are more alt-y (think piercings and tattoos...singer of Dark Divine)....but that isn't a requirement! It's just bonus points.

• I prefer men who can lead in the relationship

Why you should date me:
* We can listen to emo bands together whenever you want
* Emo music can mean many things and I’m OK with that.
* You won’t get food poisoning from my cooking
* I can make more than Hamburger Helper and frozen pizzas. Though, the ranch burger hamburger helper is my fave.
* The velveeta skillets are better, though.
* I’m suuuper short. So, if you’re insecure about your height, I gotchu. I’ll make you feel tall..or taller!
* I don’t care about height and it makes me sad that people feel insecure about something they can’t change.
* I’m a great small spoon…but I guess if you REALLY insist, I can be a jetpack. Buuuuutttt it isn't my first choice...but please don't cuddle all night. I want my space and I need to sprawl out and become a blanket burrito...with one leg out because otherwise, I'll get too hot! We just can't have that.

Boys: Justin, Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK
Episode 19: The Princess Pride
"Last time, on Total Drama Action! Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise – I mean, antagonize them."
"The cast were forced to use their creative sides while showing off their back sides. As they made superhero costumes out of spandex. And...some other junk. Nice tights!"
"Of course, they were foiled by the diabolical Pythonicus, evil alter-ego of the villainous Chef!"
"In a fight against evil, the cast proved they could be heroes. And also, loooseerrss!"
"In the end, the most diabolical of them all was MK, who twisted things in order to get Chase eliminated."
The recap footage ended, and the scene flashed to the control tent where Chris was waiting with a smile. "Will the Gaffer alliance recover from Chase being gone? Will Anne Maria and Topher keep going out?" he pressed a button on the keyboard to his side, causing a picture of the couple to appear on one of the screens behind him.
"Maybe you'll find out right now?" he shrugged impishly as the scene changed again and he walked towards the cast trailers. "Maybe you won't? On another, totally dramatic episode of," he stopped in his tracks and the camera zoomed out with each further word, "Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
The episode began with, of all things, a close-up of some brown and beany mush plopping onto a plate. The camera panned up to reveal its source as burrito beans in the hands of Jasmine being put together. Shots of Ripper, MK, and Justin also showed them making burritos as well.
The camera zoomed out to show the four constructing burritos on the table next to the tent's entrance while Topher and Anne Maria were at the other table, the former overseeing the quartet as he stood on the table and the latter simply applying lipstick to her lips.
“Ten more seconds, guys! The biggest burrito wins!” Topher declared and looked at Anne Maria. “Do you think I'd make a good reality show host?”
Anne Maria put her lipstick away. “Can you excuse me? I'm working on my facial features,” she said.
“But you already worked on yourself in the morning,” Topher said.
“You'd do the same if your hair was lookin’ messy,” Anne Maria retorted.
“Touché,” Topher pulled back.
“And time is up, folks!” MK informed everybody with her watch.
"Ripper, what do you got?” Topher asked the burly boy.
“Allow me to demonstrate my beefcake burrito!” Ripper held up his plate - his burrito has no wrapping and simply consisted of beef shaped into a cake. “I actually managed to make a cake out of beef.”
“How interesting,” Topher observed after getting off the table. “Jasmine, how about you?”
“These are my twin burritos!” Jasmine said with a plate that had two burritos tied together with an elastic rubber band.
“You actually wrapped your burritos?” Topher inspected heavily.
“Of course I did,” Jasmine nodded. “Twins are sometimes inseparable, and it's a good thing that these burritos aren't Siamese, otherwise they would have tried to eat one another.”
Topher laughed at her quip. “Points for that quip,” he said and made his way over to MK. “MK, how did you manage to make your burrito?”
“I am proud to present the MK Whopper!” MK took her burrito out from under the table and presented it - the burrito was shaped to look like MK with the beans as the body, wrap pieces as the hat and clothes, a sliced piece of tomato as the mouth, and pieces of beef as the eyes.
“The burrito is self-serving, but quality effort regardless,” Jasmine commented.
“Quality? Check out the guns on these beans,” Justin objected as his leitmotif played and he whipped out his burrito shaped to look like a flexing bicep. He even flexed his own bicep and moved his eyebrow in order to impress the contestants, but they were unfazed. “Nothing. You feel nothing?”
“Nope,” Jasmine shook her head.
“I was never once into you, Justin,” MK added as well.
“Man, this scratched schnoz has destroyed my looks and my life!” Justin moped. “Why?”
“MK, your self-art and ego is unsurprising, but you did make the biggest and best burrito, so you win,” Topher told her.
“This isn't right,” Justin protested and was now out of his seat. “I demand a second neutral opinion.”
“I'm no doctor or anything, but we all have reality-show-itis, and it's making us turn things into a challenge,” Anne Maria spoke up.
“I'm not sure if that's a thing, but I can't help myself when this day is bland and boring,” Topher said.
Confessional: Justin
“When my good looks went, so did my winning edge,” Justin told the viewers. “But some people are still managing to kick butt, and they're not nearly as good looking as I am!” He paused to think about what he said. “Okay, as I was.”
Confessional Ends
Justin was now sitting next to Anne Maria. “You know, you're the only one taking the game seriously. I just wish I knew how you did it all. It's so inspirational.”
“I'm just playing the game the best I know how,” Anne Maria said. “And it's not by sabotage like Scott did to me.”
“Scott also sabotaged my chances in the game as well,” Justin continued. “Hey, we have something in common.”
“Yeah we do, now go away,” Anne Maria ordered. “I don't know if they'll be a challenge, and I'd like to relax in peace.”
A few off-camera footsteps gave everyone pause, and they looked towards the room's entrance as the shot moved to a side-view of the room. Chef Hatchet had entered wearing a faded purple Medieval-styled costume, complete with a simple horn bearing a flag marked with a simple black-and-purple shield.
He blew a few awkward notes, then the camera moved in for a close-up as he made an announcement. "Hear ye, and rise! For Sir Chris!"
"Sir?!" Jasmine repeated with disbelief. "This Bruce's ego is fussing me to heaps!"
The shot moved back out to show Chris McLean riding atop the same decrepit-looking horse that had been used for a much earlier episode. He was wearing a knight's helmet and holding what looked to be a boot made of glass, and dismounted once Chef laid out a small rug for him to stand on.
"Hold on," Topher said slowly. "Glass slipper. Medieval stuff. This must be a Fairy Tale theme!"
"Topher," Chris said with stern annoyance, "if you ever steal my intro again, I'll have to personally boot you off the show."
"Hey, you can't do that!" Topher protested. "You brought me onto this show!"
"This boot," Chris said happily, "will determine the Princess for today's Fairy Tale movie challenge! The rest of you," he added as the camera panned across the tent from right to left, "compete for the honor of rescuing the fair Princess."
Anne Maria immediately raised her hand eagerly. "I wanna be the Princess!"
"I said the fair Princess," Chris repeated. "And what we think is fair is that the candidates be the ladies who haven't had a win since the merge: MK," he looked at the unamused techno, "and Jasmine." The focus moved to the Outback girl, who merely raised an eyebrow.
Confessional: Jasmine
"Okay, I am not Princess material," Jasmine said in the make-up confessional. "Not only am I too tall to fit the role, but I'm not really interested in fairy tales."
Confessional Ends
A short drumroll preceded an even shorter chanted note as MK and Jasmine approached the end of the table closest to the tent entrance.
"Yeah, there's no way that I'm gonna be some Princess, McLean!" MK barked at the host who was standing nearby with the glass boot still in his hand. "And don't even try to jam that boot on my foot."
"Okay," Chris said slowly, "that's a no for MK. Jasmine, you're up."
"Well, I'm not fond of fairy tales," Jasmine said, "but I might as well."
"Hold on there, Thunder from Down Under," Chris told her. "You have to put the boot on first. Make sure you're actually Princess material."
Jasmine frowned. "Okay then." She sat on the end of the table, slipped off one of her shoes, and tried to force it on.
The host and other castmates watched as she grunted and began to sweat, trying to get the boot onto her foot. Eventually, she let out a disappointed breath and held the boot back up. "It's no use," Jasmine told the host. "I can't get it on, and even then, it would shatter to pieces."
"Well," Chris said blankly, "guess that's both candidates out, unless MK changes her mind."
MK just glared at him. "Not a chance."
Anne Maria immediately grinned. "Yo Chris!"
"Looks like we have to do another selection method," Chris grabbed the glass boot and began to turn, only for Anne Maria to dart forward and snatch the footwear away from him.
Anne Maria swiftly tossed aside one of her heels and replaced it with the glass boot. "There," she said with a smile, raising her leg to show the boot glimmering on the end of it, "I always knew that I was meant to be royalty!"
"Fine, Anne Maria can be the Princess," Chris said heavily. "Let's just get this over with. Chef?" he looked back over his shoulder, and the shot pulled back to show the hulking man arriving back on the scene. He had changed into a pale blue ballerina's outfit, and had strapped a pair of fake wings to his back that, along with the glittering 'wand' in his hand, gave him the appearance of a fairy godmother.
"I dub thee, Princess Anne Maria," Chef said shortly as a touching song played, waving the wand above the grinning girl's head and releasing a cloud of sparkling dust that nearly choked Topher, Ripper, and Justin.
Confessional: MK
"Anne Maria as the Princess?" MK told the confessional camera with a snort and a laugh. "I wouldn't want to be in that Fairy Tale. Along with any others out there."
Confessional Ends
A harp played in the background as an image of Chris' head and a large hardcover book appeared on screen in front of a yellowish stock background. "It's story time, with uncle Chris," the host's disembodied head said before the scene flashed to him seated in a large purple armchair with the same book in hand. His left hand was on a joystick built into the arm of the chair, and he seemed to be slowly rolling through the set.
"Once upon a time," he began slowly, the camera pulling back to show the host rolling up to the contestants minus Anne Maria on a wheeled platform, his chair joined by a matching footstool, pedestal side table, and even a fireplace. "Five brave knights went on a quest to rescue a Princess from her ivory tower." He pulled back on the joystick, and the platform came to a stop. "But, it wasn't gonna be easy! First," he looked at the staircase behind him, "the knights had to get past my very good friend," the shot quick-panned up and left to Chef, now dressed in a tattered vest and trousers with a long moss-green wig and beard, "the Terrible Toothless Troll!" The shot zoomed in on Chef as he quickly blackened a few of his front teeth with a sharpie. "And, his Bad Breaks Bridge!"
The camera zoomed out even further as a few ominous chants played in the background, showing a large mountainous set featuring a rickety rope bridge over a treacherous and craggy fake waterfall. The contestants gulped.
"To get past the Terrible Toothless Troll," Chris read on, "the knights had to wear disguises! There was the Frog Prince," he grabbed a vaguely frog-like great helm from behind his chair and tossed it to Justin, "and the Ugly Stepsister," he tossed a large wig of wavy red hair in a tall bun to MK. "Snow White," he tossed a pink sleep mask to Jasmine, "and one of her Seven Dwarves," he followed that up by throwing a tall wizard's hat patterned with stars, moons, and lightning bolts to Topher. "Aaand," the host finished by pulling out a bright red hooded cape, "Little Red Riding Hood."
He tossed it to Ripper, who raised an eyebrow as he caught it. "Seriously? Can't I just be Riding Red?"
"No dice dude. That's what it says in the script," Chris told him as an unseen intern delivered a plate of milk and cookies to the host's side table. He turned and grabbed one, saying "Good work, kid," before continuing his monologue. "And so, the Ugly approached the Terrible Troll."
"I can't see in this thing!" MK said.
"Oh yeah," Chris said to a dramatic rise in the background music, "for this challenge, each knight is blind." The five teens immediately began to protest, causing the host to snap at them. "Nowhere in this story does it say 'the cowardly knights complained'!" he told the cast with a brief glance at his book. "So get it together, steppy, and get crossing!"
The footage skipped ahead to show MK slowly inching her way across the bridge while holding on to one of the rope rails. "This ain't too bad," she said to herself. She was hit by several red apples in rapid succession, causing her to yelp in pain.
"Oh, also," Chris said as the shot cut back to him, "those are Wicked Witch's apples, so, they're poisonous and rotten. You might wanna watch..."
He stopped talking as the shot cut back to MK slipping on one of the apples and fell off the bridge to the rocky set below. The camera followed as she fell and bounced off of several outcroppings before landing onto the hard ground. The shot cut briefly to the other contestants as they winced in pain before cutting back to the techno girl lying awkwardly on the ground with an apple in her mouth.
"Well, looks like MK isn't fairy tale hero material," Chris commented, dunking one of his cookies into his glass of milk. The short girl writhed in pain.
Confessional: MK
MK had on a neck brace and bandages around her head and torso, "I'm having trouble remembering what happened after the fall. Does that mean I have a concussion?"
Confessional Ends
A harp was played as the footage cut back to the other contestants standing at the start of the bridge. "Next, the eighth dwarf," Chris said as he moved his platform around towards the far staircase. "He grabbed a fistful of courage and headed across the bridge."
Topher glanced over at Chef. The man had hunched over, and was slapping a cat o' nine tails against his hand with a wild grin. He took a deep breath, put on the wizard’s hat over his eyes, and charged forward with a battle cry. Chef raised his eyebrows and rushed out to stop him, but he jumped onto a rope rail and ran through it until he was past Chef.
"Did I make it?" Topher asked, having reached the other side.
Confessional: Topher
"Poise classes have taught me to always be aware of my surroundings, whether I’m blindfolded or not," Topher grinned. "And with Anne Maria as the Princess, I’m not botching this one."
Confessional Ends
The footage skipped ahead to Jasmine's attempt, the sleeping mask already over her eyes and her hands firmly on the ropes of the bridge as she walked forward at a steady pace. Chef squeezed a mother goose, launching a golden egg out of its rear like a bullet. It shot past the girl's shoulder. "What was that?" Jasmine asked as she moved her head to track it. A second egg hit her square in the chest, knocking her back a step and putting a grin on Chef's face.
Jasmine frowned for a moment, then took a cautious step that was apparently at the bridge's weak point. The camera zoomed in on the bridge as it rippled, knocking loose every plank all the way to Chef. With a gasp and a scream, the troll and his goose fell, and the scene cut to him as he grabbed something behind his back. "They don't pay me enough for this!" Chef yelled, pulling the cord of a hidden parachute and floating down safely.
Jasmine was unaware of the danger and took one more step, expectedly screaming and falling. The camera cut to Chris as he followed the Amazon girl's fall and winced at the sound of an impact. "Awesome!" he cheered. "You’re up, froggy." The scene cut to the start of the bridge where Justin stood. "Then Captain Hood after that."
Justin put on his helmet. "At least my face will be protected from further indignity," he said as he slowly moved towards the bridge. He walked right shoulder into one of the posts holding up the bridge.
Ripper laughed. "Tough break, pretty boy," he jeered. "Go a little to the right." The eye candy followed the advice and walked into the other pole, causing Ripper to laugh. "Sorry man!" the bully called before laughing again.
Chef was shown running past the center of the bridge with an ax raised and ready to strike, while Justin stayed at the bridge completely oblivious. Ripper laughed once more and pushed the model into the cook. "Let me give you a hand," he said as he did so. Chef brought his ax down and hit the hot boy's helmet, causing the eyes to spin comically and Ripper to laugh once more.
Confessional: Justin
“There I was, down dirty, and deafened,” Justin recapped his failure. “And I thought "W.W.A.M.D.": What would Anne Maria do? And then it came to me! She'd use her head.”
Confessional Ends
With a battle cry, Justin rushed the cook with his helmet and ran him over, safely making it to the other side. "Justin's still got it!" Chris said as the camera cut to him. "All right, the final knight attempting to enter Fairy Tale Land is," the shot cut to Ripper as he tied a blindfold over his eyes and faced away from the camera, "Riding Red! We're over this way!"
"My seeing is good," Ripper said as he turned around. The camera cut to his perspective to show that he could actually see Chef putting on a blonde pigtailed wig. "I'm able to see Chef as a female troll! Hilarious!"
"Rapunzel dude, let down your hair!" Chris called, and Chef lengthened one of the pigtails and began swinging it around. He cracked it like a whip at the bully, who dodged it.
The camera cut to Justin watching Ripper avoid every attack. "Hey! He can see!" he cried.
"How?" Chris asked sarcastically. "With his X-ray vision? That'd be cool."
Chef attacked one last time, but Ripper grabbed onto the pigtail and swung across to safety with a whoop.
The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of Chris's book as he began to narrate once again. "And so, the Terrible Toothless Troll knocked off two losers," the shot pulled back to show Jasmine, wearing a leg cast and her right arm in a sling, and MK sitting on the ground nearby. "But," the camera panned over to Justin, Ripper, and Topher on the right, "three semi-brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest. Whereupon I, in my wisdom, inspired them with a vision of Princess Anne Maria."
The shot pulled back even further, revealing that the group had assembled in front of a small stage with a pink-tinted backdrop depicting a large white castle off in distant hillsides. A slow piano melody began to play as Anne Maria, now dressed in a regal-looking pink gown and tiara, was lowered onto the stage by a few wires.
"When I was a little girl, I'd dream of my first kiss," Anne Maria began to sing in a rather mediocre voice the moment she hit the stage and the wired harness was reeled back up. "It would come from my perfect prince!" A number of tiny birds and chipmunks gathered around her, the birds even landing on her hands. "And in my dream, it went like this!"
The scene immediately cut to the three remaining knights as they watched the performance. Justin and Topher were both stunned by her display, while Ripper couldn't care less.
“She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Justin said.
Definitely,” Topher chimed in.
“I must've been so busy seeing her as a potential alliance member and extra vote that I didn't see her outer beauty. Wow,” Justin continued in amazement. “We'll be the best looking couple in the kingdom!”
The music came to a halt as Topher and Ripper were surprised by what just came out of Justin's mouth.
“Excuse me, but I am still dating her!” Topher objected heavily.
“And there's no way she'll ever be into you,” Ripper told Justin.
“I saw you cheat, Ripper,” Justin let him know. “You don't deserve to be anybody's prince.”
“And who died and made you the rule master?” Ripper faced the handsome boy threateningly.
"Guys, guys!" Chris said, stepping forward and getting between the boys. "No need to fight! At least not until after this break," he declared happily. "Will Ripper inflict any deformities on Justin? Or will Justin's ripped physique bring two tons of hurt down on Topher's head? Find out when we come back!"
(Commercial Break)
The footage came back to a distance shot of the stage Anne Maria was still singing on, her music resuming as the shot cut closer.
"My prince will be tall and handsome," she sang, the camera panning down to catch Justin standing straight and proud. "My prince will be tough as nails," Ripper flexed his biceps and then lifted a startled Topher over his head.
"My prince will have lots of money," Anne Maria continued, the camera moving back on her as she showered the stage with a wad of cash. "My prince will tame wild whales!" She flexed her own arms, Chris nodded to the beat, and the shot cut to Topher looking at a small and rather disoriented baleen whale on the floor in confusion.
The shot panned down to Jasmine and MK who were watching the performance with boredom on their faces.
"How are you feeling about the whole Fairy Tale thing?" Jasmine asked MK.
"Couldn't care less," MK answered bluntly. "I just don't know why we have to keep watching though."
A close-up was shown of Anne Maria reaching for a wary-eyed frog in a small crown, the Jersey girl pulling it closer to her as she finished her song. "When we kiss~, my prince will be you~!" As the music ended, she held up the frog and kissed it on the lips, but broke almost immediately in a fit of revulsion.
Anne Maria threw the frog away from her, and it landed on Justin's face. "Warts! Get it off!" he cried out as he ran around trying to get the frog out.
"Wasn't that song brilliant?" Chris asked as the focus moved back to him, Jasmine, and MK. "It was so brilliant, I know everyone wishes they could hear it over, and over, and over again! And now they can." He snapped his fingers, and a CD case bearing Princess Anne Maria's picture on the cover was placed in his waiting hand.
"Relive the magic of Anne Maria for only $12.99," he told the camera as a deep and theatrical tune began to play. "Call 555-SELLOUT to get your authentic Princess Anne Maria CD," he added as the camera zoomed in on the case, "before everyone else downloads it illegally!"
"I'll take one!" Topher quickly begged, earning him a CD. "This will be worth spending thirteen dollars of my money."
Confessional: Topher
"My prince will buy me lots of hot dogs! My prince will love ponies too!" Topher was listening to the CD through headphones as his confessional began. "Her singing isn't the best, but I do want to support her," he told the camera.
Confessional Ends
"After risking my life for you, I have come to realize this!" Justin said as he approached the stage. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And the smartest. What are the odds?"
He offered his hand to Anne Maria, but she didn't take it. "Thanks for telling me what I already know!"
"Uhh, aren't you going to compliment me on my bravery?" Justin asked.
"Nah! Princesses are supposed to be complimented in my world,” Anne Maria said, to Justin's disappointment. “It's not their job to give them out to anyone, but for me, I'll make an exception for Topher, the handsomest knight around!”
The camera moved to Ripper rolling her eyes and Topher smiling. “And you are the most beautiful princess around!” Topher complimented back before a sound caught the attention of both. They turned their heads at once and the scene followed their gaze over to Chef, still in his troll costume but now riding the same fly-ridden horse from earlier in the episode.
"How has that horse not died yet?" MK commented. "It can't be in good condition after all their time being used on this show."
"Just because it's a little old, doesn't mean it's not fighting for their life," Jasmine told her.
Anne Maria hopped onto the horse's back while Ripper and Topher came over. “Are we supposed to catch him?" Topher asked.
"No, it's a classic princess abduction," Chris explained calmly. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed."
Chef kicked the horse with his feet, but it didn't react. "Guess ol' Betsy here didn't read the script," he said gruffly.
"Kick harder," Chris commanded, and Chef promptly complied. A stronger kick caused the horse to kick backwards, hitting Justin – who had been standing closest - right in the face.
"That did it," Chef said as Justin was shown to have a few teeth knocked out and a bruised right eye.
"So, that's how the three knight dudes lost the Princess," Chris narrated, "But fate, aka me, wasn't finished with them." Chef and Anne Maria rode off behind him. "They followed the troll all the way to a fight to the death, because that's how I like my princesses saved."
"Sir Topher!" Anne Maria called out playfully as she was slowly abducted. "You better be the one who rescues me!"
"These two haven't even got a chance!" Topher replied arrogantly.
"As good luck, I'll give you my favor to carry into the battle!" Anne Maria tossed the glass boot, but it unintentionally hit Justin in the face.
Confessional: Justin
Justin was having his bruises covered up by make-up brushes from two unknown people while the glass boot was on the table.
“Falling for Anne Maria has been hard on the face. I think we'll have a no glass shoes policy if we start dating soon,” Justin informed and put the boot away. “I have no idea what Chase and Millie's policies are, but they're probably less dignified.”
Confessional Ends
The footage cut forward to a close-up of the old horse chewing on some hay before the camera panned over to a small castle archway propped up against a tower of some sort. "Sir Justin, Sir Topher, and Sir Ripper reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the super tanned princess," Chris read as the three remaining competitors walked into the scene and he followed on his rolling platform. The shot panned up the towers, where several other pieces of crenelated wall had been attached here and there, and at the very top there was a pinkish spire and balcony where Princess Anne Maria waited.
"But there was only one way to rescue her," the host continued with a grin on his face and tense music building in the background. "One of the brave knights had to slay the dragon!"
"Dragon?!" Jasmine asked in alarm. "Tell me you didn't get a real dragon for this!"
"Seeing as dragons don't exist," MK told her, "I find that highly unlikely."
"She's right," Chris said as the music switched to something more ominously lurking. "We're reusing the alien monster guy."
Seconds later, a few tremendous mechanical footsteps were heard. MK and Jasmine looked to stage right and the camera pulled back, showing off the animatronic monster in all its glory. Chef was wearing the motion capture suit that controlled it, and it had been given a hood with horns, a scraggly 'beard', and two tiny wings in order to make it look more draconic. Chef raised his arms menacingly, and the monster echoed the pose and growled.
"Let the dragon slaying begin!" Chris announced, pulling out a trio of wooden swords and throwing them to the knights. Ripper caught the shortest, Topher the most slender, and Justin the broadest, and the three turned to face the tower and dragon.
"I'm counting on you, Sir Topher!" Anne Maria called from above, smiling at the fanboy and blowing him a kiss. He accepted it with a grin, and Anne Maria turned her attention to the other two knights and frowned. "As for you two, you'll need all the luck you can get."
"Yeah, cause I'll be the one who's going to slay today!" Topher boasted before turning and charging at the dragon.
"Not so fast," Justin charged at Topher and the two clashed their swords into each other's, only breaking when they noticed a foot-shaped shadow fall upon them. They rolled out of the way before the monster stomped them, and the camera panned over to Justin landing next to Ripper.
“You want Topher to win?” Justin faced Ripper.
“Like I care which one of you wins,” Ripper scoffed.
“Then help me take him down and I'll let you win,” Justin offered.
Ripper thought about it, and the viewpoint moved over to Chef guiding the monster in stomping and snapping at Topher. He was able to strike the dragon's head with his sword. “You are not going to stop me from rescuing Anne Maria!” the fanboy told the dragon.
“Just get them both chasing you,” Ripper suggested.
“And why?” Justin asked.
“Do you want to stop that monster or not?” Ripper glared. “Just do it!”
Justin sighed but complied, and both Topher and the Chef-controlled monster made moves to chase after him while Ripper watched from the sidelines.
“Are you going to fight me or run away from me?!” Topher asked with a taunt.
“Justin, you're going to stop running in 3…2…1!” Ripper ordered, and Justin paused his dash.
Topher also stopped chasing him as well, and the dragon, who was still trying to chase the others, caught its foot on Topher and somehow tripped. It flailed its arms humorously before crashing to the ground.
"A job well done," Ripper said as he ran over to the large red button on the side of the beast's neck. “Now to claim my second immunity win in a row!” he said as he readied his sword to finish it off, but Justin came up to push him off the dragon and onto the floor.
"Sorry Ripper," Justin told him. "If Izzy was the prize, I'm sure you'd do the same thing." He plunged his sword into the dragon's neck, causing it to fizzle and short out. "Anne Maria," he dramatically called out, "your prince is coming."
"Some prince," Ripper mocked.
The camera panned to the right to show Chris' moving platform as he arrived with Jasmine and MK in tow.
"Wanna rescue Princess Anne Maria too?" he asked the camera. "Now you can, for only $79.95!" he pulled out a pink-and-yellow striped box and held it up for the camera, a vaguely Anne Maria-shaped doll barely visible inside. "Order your very own Princess Anne Maria Limited Edition Glass Boot Doll! Playing with the Anne Maria doll is more fun and less dangerous than playing with the real Anne Maria. Guaranteed!" He finished with a cheesy grin.
The scene cut to the top of the ivory tower as Justin climbed up to the balcony where Anne Maria waited. "I have arrived!" Justin announced.
"Not the guy I was expecting, but a reward is a reward," Anne Maria grumbled and the two moved in for a kiss.
"Wait, wait, there's no kissing!" Chris interrupted the two from his chair.
“What?” Justin felt confused.
“Oh yeah!” Topher cheered from under the dragon.
"It says here that Prince Justin and Princess Anne Maria must sword fight to determine the true winner!" Chris explained while reading off his book.
"Which means I still have a chance at winning immunity?" Anne Maria asked quickly.
"You're much smarter than most princesses," Chris replied.
"Usually, most fairy tales end with a kiss," Jasmine said.
"Well, this is a modern tale," Chris explained. "Gals have to fight for themselves."
“You can say that again,” MK agreed.
“If that's how it has to be-” Anne Maria said.
“No,” Justin cut her off, now kneeling on one leg. “I am a noble gentleman. A brave knight. A handsome prince. I would never hurt a lady.”
“But you would hurt a guy working with you,” Ripper interjected after getting up on his feet.
“I said I was sorry, Ripper,” Justin told him with annoyance and focused back on Anne Maria. “I refuse to raise a sword to Anne Maria.” Anne Maria took the sword from him. “I give up any chance at immunity to spare her. And now…”
Justin puckered his lips and moved close, only for his eyes to widen. The camera pulled back to show the hilt of the sword buried in his crotch.
“Not sorry! I'm already taken!" Anne Maria declared before pushing Justin off.
Justin fell with a scream until he hit one of the 'towers' on his cheek. He kept on hitting one tower after another until he hit the ground on his back in severe pain. “I'm okay!”
The camera panned over to Chris and the other losers. "Anne Maria wins immunity! Again!" the host announced.
"Yes!" Anne Maria cheered.
The opening sequence of the Gilded Chris Ceremony came and went, leaving the scene focused on the tux-wearing host at his podium. "So," Chris began with an award already in his hand, "with immunity, Anne Maria is the first to win a Gilded Chris." He tossed the statuette to the girl, sitting on the left side of the bleachers, and she caught it with a smug grin.
"Immunity and my own dolls? How much better can this day get?" Anne Maria said.
"Well, it's not like you're getting the profits from the Princess Anne Maria line," Chris said plainly.
Anne Maria's eyes popped open in shock. "Uh, what?!" she said in outrage. “It's my line!”
“I’m saying that you're not going to get the profits because they’ll be sent over to your family for safekeeping, along with a Princess Anne Maria doll,” Chris explained. “I don't want any of my interns or producers to take what's rightfully yours. Lawsuits and all.”
“Oh!” Anne Maria said in relief. “I'm relieved, but I'm also upset that you made me act like an idiot!”
"Then you should have let me finish! Also still in the competish," Chris announced with another two awards in his hand, "MK and Jasmine." The former caught her prize in her lap with a confident grin, and the latter with a happy smile.
"And also Ripper," the host continued, the camera panning to the bully who smiled as he caught his award.
Spotlights were put on Justin and Topher, the former in a body cast. "Who will live happily ever after, and who will die penniless," Chris said as the music built dramatically. "And the last Gilded Chris goes to… Justin!"
"What?!" Anne Maria stood up. "You have to be joking! Justin should be going home!"
"Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding," Chris said. "Justin's actually the one who's been eliminated."
Topher caught his award. “I knew I would be safe.”
Confessional: Topher
“I told everybody to vote off Justin,” Topher confirmed. “He tried to move in on my girlfriend, and him getting booted would serve him right. The best part is, everybody was on board with it and I didn’t even have to try and convince them.”
Confessional Ends
Justin got up and started to head to the red carpet, but stopped to look at the contestants. “So is no one even going to miss me?”
“I never liked you,” MK shrugged.
“See ya,” Ripper said apathetically. “Get better soon, or sometime.”
“Okay, stop already! I'm going! But you'll regret it,” Justin told them and walked to the red carpet. Before getting into the limousine, he gave one last look to the remaining players. “With me gone, this competition just got eighty percent less handsome.” The eye candy turned around, only to hit his head on the roof. “All right, seventy-nine!” he groaned.
The footage paused there, and the camera pulled back to show it on one of the monitors in the control tent. Chris was sitting in his chair playing with a couple of Princess Anne Maria dolls, a few more scattered on the nearby desk.
"I know what I told Anne Maria, but marketing says that our target audience is too old for dolls," Chris told the camera as the footage on the monitor cut to static. "They're just not selling!" He looked to the side, and the camera panned to follow and show Chef playing with a group of Princess Anne Maria dolls dressed up as soldiers.
"Princesses, attack!" he said with a dark grin, lighting a miniature cannon with a match as the deeper and more dramatic ending theme began to play. The cannon fired with a puff, blowing the heads off two of the dolls.
Chris gave him an odd look, then turned back to the camera. "Hey target audience! Make sure you don't miss the next kiss-filled episode of Total! Drama! Action!" As soon as he finished saying the title, he mashed the mouths of the two dolls he was holding together and made kissing sounds. "Now you see, Chef," he told his companion, "that's how you play with dolls."
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The scene opened to Justin sitting on the back seat of the limousine with the glass boot in hand. “What I've learned? Well, maybe that good looks won't take you everywhere you want to go,” he said wisely. “I mean, what have I ended up with? A wounded face, a bruised ego, and a shoe that I can't even wear. Maybe if I stopped modeling and threw all my energy into getting smarter, more girls could fall in love with me,” he thought. “But modeling pays. And Jesús, my booker, says that even with my severe facial wounds, he can get me a bunch of leg modeling and some celebrity kid's birthday party. So, love schmove.” He threw the glass boot out the window, and a shattering sound indicated that the boot was destroyed.
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Millie - 8th
MERGE
Chase - 7th
Justin - 6th
Boys: Ripper, Topher
Girls: Anne Maria, Jasmine, MK

I apologize for the wall of text ahead of time!
Hey there! I'm a 27M from US, I am hoping to find someone I can talk to with ease, throughout the day about anything and everything, someone who likes to share and have meaningful conversations. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, hoping to meet my person but I am also open to completely platonic friendships too!
I am nerdy, an ambivert, I love a nice cozy night in or a fun night out. I love to play PC games, anything from rpgs/mmos to cozy crafters to survival or fps. I also enjoy game development, art, music, movies, cartoons (adventure time is my favorite!) and shows. On the other hand, I love to get outside, go workout, enjoy a nice hike in nature, sports or just exploring around town.
I love music and finding new music, some of my favorite genres are indie, alt, rock, pop, punk, pop punk, rap, hip-hop, electro swing and more.
I take pride in my weird goofiness, and you should too! I'm alt, 420 friendly. I love life and making new experiences. I am extremely open-minded, ambitious, optimistic, non-judgmental, caring, kind and love deep conversations. I'm an animal and nature lover. I am a fast texter, love to talk throughout the day about everything each other has going on!
Looks-wise I am 6ft, light brown medium length hair, facial hair, nose piercing, hazel eyes, husky/thick/dadbod body type (but workout frequently) and I want to get a tattoo at some point.
As for my own preferences, I'm really not picky but I would prefer someone who also enjoys being physically active. Bonus points if you have a witchy/indie/alt/grunge/soft/y2k/pastel aesthetic!
I am down to swap selfies at any point but if you're only interested in platonic friendship then it doesn't matter to me!
If you made it to the end hopefully you found something interesting, shoot me a dm, tell me a bit about yourself. P.S. I will send you a picture of my cat! (or my isopods 😳)

Platform: Mobile
Genre: A life simulator
Estimated year of release: Somewhere in the 2010s, possibly between 2014-2016
Graphics/Art style: A 3D world with a 2D style to it. It was simple, flat, cartoon-ish, and featured saturated colors. It was mostly bright, and the people in the game were small and simple. IIRC they didn’t have facial features, and they were 3D models that seemed 2D for how flat the game looked. The people might have lived in simple houses, kind of like a tent. The world was sort of in layers, and you could “push” them in order to edit the world. I added a picture of what the layers (might have) looked like
Notable Gameplay Mechanics: You were basically a god in the game. IIRC, the intro even mentioned something of this. I think the people in the game were also aware of your actions, or at least your character, I wanna say they reacted to things you did. The beginning of the game was either a small group of people that grew, or a town that grew or shrunk depending on your actions. You were able to edit the world, like push mountains ‘n such.
Other Details: The style of the game was very simplistic, and I believe there wasn’t a lot of dialogue or text.

When this all started, naalala ko agad past ko (2019) the time was hell, ginawa akong laruan ng mga “friends” ko. they messed up with my emotions and manipulated me malala. Now to the present, me and K had issues, dahil lang i chose to stay in bed kesa mag gala with him. galit na galit sya to the point sinisiraan nya ako to other ppl, i swear yan talaga panimulan ng away. hes always like that, childish and immature and sguro i just enabled him to the point ako nanaman ung ginaganyan nya. it felt like he was just looking for a reason para awayin ako. hes pure sad and bitter, hes projecting his anger to people kesa dealing with it on his own. now iniiba nya nanaman reason, telling ppl “actually di talaga un ung reason why im mad at her, nangwengwenta kasi sya” excuse me? anong kwenta dun? I was merely asking him na sya bahala sakin sa susunod na out of town namin cuz i was the one who shouldered our food for 2 days sa previous out of town namin. I have no issues with it at all and this just conclude my thought na nag hahanap talaga sya ng reason to blame it all me when he started all of this toxicity himself. He was all supportive when we were “friends” and very understanding despite his childish behavior. Support daw sya when i sell content tas now pokpok na ako lol then he was understanding when my house is messy kasi daw i have many cats and i have so much on my plate tas now disgusting na daw ako lol kahit na madumi bahay ko i try to clean it every week!
Now, sa isang friend namin na si J, I saw she posted a bag that is very familiar. I immediately thought that was my bag and when confronted thru chat i she declined and sent me a picture and naniwala ako! i immediately apologize. Then I found na it was really my bag! The picture she sent me was the back of the bag kaya i thought i was wrong, when i had a close look to it. andun pa ung lipstick stain ng bag when i went to siargao. Even tho nakita ko na harap harapan, she still declines lol. My thought about it is sinadya nya na makita ko para kuno di sya guilty kasi if she hides it guilty sya, right? so gina gaslight ako. Halata naman din sa mga facial expression nila na theyre lying. Why did the bag get there? kasi K had it, and probably he gave it to J. I would understand if J just tells me the truth and still wont return my bag kasi ayaw nya malaman ni K na alam ko ginagawa niya but NO, they chose to lie to me and ginawa pa akong tanga. Then and there I realized what kind of people im dealing. Not only they are gaslighters and manipulators, magnanakaw pa. Even K admitted he stole a sticker I sell when he was at my home. but idk if isa lang talaga kinuha nya. He took it when i told him na i cant give it to him kasi its for sale.
Grabe ung trauma ko with these people. I want to confront them pero feel ko mag lie nanaman sila jusko! ang hirap.. I have so many proofs i have the bag and i know di ko na mababawi un besides tag 180 ko lang un binili. In the end of the day, Its not about the bag, its aboutthe disrespect and lies they had showed me. grabe i was so genuine to them, yes i get annoyed pero never ko sola siniraan and ito ibabalik nila sakin lol makaumay.

The photo mode is a feature we've been waiting for forever and we're happy to finally have it, but it would be great if the following improvements were made:

• Facial expression options: Please let us change our character's facial expression from the default in photo mode so they can convey our desired emotion in the picture (happy, sad, angry, worried, silly, etc.). It kinda ruins any pictures I take when my character has the default I_I face.
• Character positioning: This feature would allow us to move our character around the frame, like forwards/backwards or left/right. "Marvel's Spider-Man 2" has a similar feature. It would really help position our character in our desired spot for our photos.
• Toggle mode: It would be amazing if there was an option to simply press a button and instantly be in photo mode. It's a bit of a hassle having to pause, wait a few moments for the menu to pop up, and press the photo mode button. This feature would make it a lot more convenient.

Thank you!

Growing up I always had broad shoulders, more hair only body and face than my peers, overall a very masculine appearance. It felt to me sometimes that I didn't look like a cis woman. I also meet plenty of cis women who look like what would be considered clocky for trans women when in reality they are completely cis. Even met a lady that has full facial hair likely from PCOS or some hormonal issue bc she looks older. Men who seem like they could be trans but idk. There's plenty of women who are broad with masculine features just as there's men with thick eyelashes and beautiful face and a dumpy ass.
But if trans people are at risk for violence this doesn't just affect us. This also affects cis people who look trans. The more paranoia that gets in people's heads the less safe it is for anyone that exists outside the binary for what a man should look like and what a woman should look like. There's natural variations in individuals. Some men can grow up with testosterone deficiencies and likewise women with excess testosterone.
It's to the point I don't really even clock people on these features alone, often it's other things that set me off on whether I think a person is trans or not. People claim they can tell the difference but even as a trans person who has seen thousands of pictures of trans people of all stages and walks of life and in the end I've learned that you can never be certain just by looking at a person.