-Today I got a message that my account has been credited with 15 lakh rupees.

• Over joyed me decided to visit the Capital of my district which happens to be the smart City of Dholera.
  
• I boarded the bullet train and left my house unlocked because we are living in Ram Rajya where criminals have no place except a certain political party.
  
• Reached there in minutes because the train was running faster than NM's mouth. A guy named Jaggu who looked like Paul Bearer was standing there with a bouquet to receive me.
  

-He asked me to get inside an Alto car but I refused and asked for a SUV because I don't consider myself lesser human than some dream girl.

• I was amazed to see that there were no pot holes and the road was smooth like the roads of Kyoto.
  
• When I reached the hotel, Some gujju girls welcomed me like I was some special guest like Pakistani cricketers.
  
• A Sikh boy named Teji took my luggage to the room. I got up to use the washroom but my flip flops(chappals) were missing, thank fully I had another pair.
  
• I called the room service and asked for the the best dish they have. I almost got a heart attack when they sent mushrooms costing 80k per piece, thank God I am living in a 5 trillion economy so I was able to afford them.
  
• I switched on the TV and stopped at a channel while channel hopping, where they were showing documentary of a destroyed country under rule of a self obsessed king.
  
• Women raped, children starving, protesters were beaten, Unemployed youth shouting religious slogans. That documentary broke my heart and I thanked God that I live in Amrit kaal under a democratic and accountable leader.
  
• I slept for good 5- 6 hours and stepped outside of my room for some fresh air. A 65+ uncle was waiting for me outside my room and he was fuming.
  
• I asked, What's the matter Sir? He said I have checked in the room next to you and you snore too loudly, I said sorry but he was not finished yet.
  
• He continued, how can you sleep for so long being a young guy, how will you work 70 hrs a week and contribute to desh hit?
  
• I was about to give him a befitting reply but suddenly a women in a simple saree and with cutlery in hand took him away and ended the matter.
  
• Feeling bored and irritated, I decided to play some sports. The hotel staff guided me to the nearest cricket academy.
  
• At the academy I met a coach who is a world class batsman in his time teaching young kids how to bat.
  
• I went upto him to have a chat and became a fan of his amazing verbal skills. He took me to his favourite students Virat and Rohit who revered their Joy sir, we played cricket for sometime and I learnt few new shots from joy sir.
  

-Hungry me went to a nearby restaurant and ordered my favourite daal, paneer,naan and onion salad.

• The waiter said we don't use onions in any way sir. I said I have a habit of eating onion salad in dinner so please do something.
  
• He said i can't do anything but you can talk to our manager. I said , ok then call your manager.A lady in saree came and arrogantly said , what's your problem?
  
• I asked that why don't you use onions? She yelled at me and said "kyonki mai pyaaz nahi khati" . I said that the way you treat your customers will harm economy of your restaurant.
  
• She replied, I don't give a damn about economy, threw the menu at my face and went away in anger. 😭😭
  

-Terrified by such behaviour I woke up from my dream.Share my dream with as many people as possible so they can wake up to reality.
Jai hind 🇮🇳🙏 (Not a writer of post)

I'm so tired. I'm 41. Started having lower back spasms at 11. Doctors were like, huh, that's weird, kid. Welp, enjoy your life.
Got very active and fit, that kept it mosty at bay during my teenage years. Back pain returned in young adulthood. Cried on the way to work on the bus. Knelt on the floor to type at work. Got a part time job so I didn't have to sit as much. Migraines slowly started over the years. Back would go out 3 to 4 times a year regularly but I was very active. Kept asking doctors why do I get so much back pain? They were like "Iunno, some people are more prone to it. Welp, enjoy your life!"

1. I don't know what the fuck happened but my neck did something bad when I was lifting a chair and it was months and months of uncontrollable spasms and complete trauma. Awake for days. Poorly controlled pain, pain medicine, trauma from doctors who are so afraid to give me five fucking hydrocodone at a time when I was almost at suicidal levels of pain.

Interstitial cystitis appeared a few months later just for kicks. Gastrointestinal pain started. My nervous system seemed to be jacked up after that. Super reactive to everything.
I pulled myself heroically back to some decent functionality after a few years of painful and exhausting experimentation.
Was getting back into enjoying life. Then new knee pain (chondromalacia) took away roller skating which was my favorite activity in life and probably the thing that kept me strong. I've been working on my knee since 2020 and I still haven't made progress with all the PT. No one knows what to do for it. It's so incredibly frustrating and it's what kept me from skating and hiking. I try to keep active with walking and PT exercises, but nothing equals skating for joy and for strengthening.
I finally piece together the the diagnosis of EDS through my own reading, brought it to my doctors, who confirmed. (Wish I could get paid for doing their jobs for them!)
Then, one day, my seemingly loving husband of 12 years abandoned with no warning (He actually secretly moved out while I was gone for the weekend and let me know by email that he wanted a divorce, saying that my recent diagnosis made me a ticking time bomb waiting to ruin our lives)
The shock and pain and fear.
Fast forward 2 years through the trauma of utter blindsided betrayal by someone I thought was my best friend and loving life partner, and the mental trauma of being forced to do a whole divorce and fight for my future needs with someone who screamed at me that I didn't deserve any alimony at all because I created all this suffering in my head to manipulate care out of him (Yes, that was his point of view. I can't explain it. It's nuts. It's basically total denial I think, His twisted rationale to make this my fault and to make abandoning a loving wife with chronic pain acceptable)
I haven't worked in years. I don't qualify for disability because I stopped working gradually, before I had a diagnosis, and I trusted my husband. So now I don't have enough recent work credits for disability.
Ironically I was doing relatively well physically when he left. I actually had some hope. Then, out of the blue a year after he left, I developed chronic tailbone pain. I haven't been able to sit down without pain for over a year. It's really a hard condition to treat, no solution in sight but strengthening, which I'm used to and I'm ready to do...
... but my hips have started possibly subluxing in the last few months? I've never had trouble there before because I've historically been very active. I don't drive. I walk everywhere, so those muscles get a lot of exercise.
Now it hurts to lift my leg when I lay on my side, feels like it's stuck like I have to rotate my leg in order to properly lift it. Sometimes I get a sharp pain in the back part where the top of the thigh bone is. Aching today. I know I have a labral tear in that leg.
I'm suspecting this slow loss of my physical activity has finally weakened my hip/butt area, allowing my hips to sublux for the first time?
And I've JUST gotten over an exhausting trial of LDN which backfired on me (It caused completely new peripheral neuropathy to appear in my hands and feet and then set my migraines to become chronic, every day, for over a month)
It's literally been 3 days since the amitriptyline has finally kicked in and I've gone a day or two without migraine. I just started to be able to think again.
But this hip pain is taking me down mentally. It feels like the last straw.
How can I exercise when despite my best efforts, I keep adding injury after injury? They're stacking up. They don't have solutions. I can't climb my way out.
I'm terrified because I can't sit. I can't even use a wheelchair if my hips give out. How the fuck am I supposed to live? Am I going to be bed bound? Thus far it has taken me working at peak functionality to get enough exercise to keep my body together. Functionality has taken a nose dive for years now, despite my best efforts.
How much more can I fucking take?
I really hope I'm just having a little emotional breakdown. I hope I can improve things.
But I'm just so goddamn fucking tired.
I've tried so hard. Is this how the story ends with me? Alone, disabled, poor, and in more pain?

We have been married 3 years. I work full time and earn $3800 a fortnight, she works 2 days a week and earns $1100 a fortnight.
We have a 2 year old and a baby coming in 9 weeks, so she will take maternity leave at 24 weeks half pay.
Due to cost of living (fyi we are in Australia) we struggle between bills, car loan and mortgage. All up regular payments are roughly $2600 a fortnight excl groceries. Due to her pregnancy we also get hit with high medical costs (600 on scans these past 3 weeks).
Our savings are offset by credit card debt (holidays etc being paid off) which is only 2k but is a buffer if shit hits the fan. We are going to be hit by
Today she paid $320 for her hair after paying $380 6 weeks ago. As of writing this, we have $180 after-bills to see us through til next pay day (1.5 weeks).
We had a massive fight 6 weeks ago about how we can't afford such a massive cost. I spiralled pretty hard given we are living paycheck to paycheck and will hit massive home loan rate hikes when she is off work.
We've fought a lot of the years around money. One of our biggest fights was around how we need to save for a house deposit. She has been pretty open that she has no concept of finance management etc and believe it's linked to undiagnosed (but professionally identified ADHD and OCD). I'm at tipping point, she hasn't responded to any of my attempts to communicate the point. I thought she understood our situation after the last hairdresser incident but apparently not.
I don't know what to do other than move to have completely separate finances.

I highly recommend InboxPounds for anyone looking for a good source of beermoney. They are a ‘GPT (Get-Paid-To)’ website which rewards you money for completing games, sign-ups and various other offers.
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The most popular game offers payout up to £70 for completion.
They end up being easy to complete with a few of the tips known beforehand, so would strongly advise briefly reading through the games guides posted on the site before starting any game offer.
Here is a summary of the best offers available:
Game offers
Club Vegas (£70.20) - Level 100 within 21 days
Star Trek Fleet Command (£57.50) - Level 21 within 30 days
Bingo Blitz (£55) - Level 70 within 7 days
Yahtzee (£24) - Level 34 within 30 days
Coinmaster (£30) - Village 20 within 7 days
Puzzles and Survival (£40) - Level 18 within 21 days
Sign up offers
Remitly (£25) - Make a transfer of £100
Phemex (£25) - Deposit and trade £60
This is important to know but there can be times when an offer can fail to track but if you contact the support team with screenshots, they credit the money within a few days. They will usually request screenshots for proof such as your transaction history for the sign up offers, or a game screenshot revealing the level you have reached.
I would appreciate anyone signing up through my link below! Thank you very much.
https://www.inboxpounds.co.uk?rb=143241391&ref_src=link

Just watched "Summer Wars", the obvious things (the things you have to give it credit for ) l:
The art style and overall animation was FLUID. It was REALLY good. I am into this kinda thing. Sonny boy, Tatami Galaxy.
The premise was great too. So was the OST.
Since that's out of the way:
I watched the movie and I felt whoever wrote/ directed/ made the movie does not know how to carry out plot. Most of the things are "ass pulls" or "plot conveniences".
Don't get me wrong, these work, they work when you have a build up or the vibe you have when introducing your character is "comic" or "chaotic".
But the way the anime first establishes a normal looking character dynamic and then introduce chaos? It makes the things look "ass pulls".
I also felt that many characters were unnecessary, for instance, the children, they were so irritating (not in a good, "plot will move" kinda way).
I feel their only purpose was to mess up King K vs A.I' first fight.
There is also the character of "Grandma". I have nothing against wholesome characters but she is being portrayed as a "Girl Boss" or "King Pin" (if that makes sense) yet all she is doing is make phone calls and say generic dialogues to "motivate" people?
The only character who kind of made sense was the uncle. They did not I trounce him so the suddenness does not expect anything.if you were to introduce the "chaos element" with this character, it would be acceptable.
Some parts of it were just cringe (sorry) for instance l, the "ajapan's Greatest Gamer" before a very important fight is apparently practicing martial arts with the "sensei".
I KNOW the vibe they want to go for, I KNOW the atmosphere they wanted to create but the way they did it made it look so generic.
As stated earlier, the dialogues are (again) generic.
The main characters were decent though. The primary protagonists "superpower" is math but fortunately, his entire personality does not revolve around "Maths".
All in all, it was a 7/10, I say 7/10 because I am scared of the public opinion (apparently, my favourote anime tuber gives this movie a 9 if I remember correctly )
But we were to remove the 7 from the rating scale, I would give it 6/10.

Honestly I don't want to but I do. He is a "stay at home dad" which I could respect. The problem is he complains my meetings interfere with his work on his car work or phone calls to friends (or sleep) because he has to watch our 2 year old.
I work from home and adapt as I can.
75% of the time he does cook dinner so I'll give him that. But he won't do dishes (even when I cook). I plan meals and buy food. No laundry, sweeping, baths, other work. Lord help if he has to get a kid on the bus. Or appointment.
I pay every bill.
He works sometimes and it goes to whatever he wants, only around $250-500/month lately. So I pick up his bills and credit card debt.
Now I've been buying car parts (not a family car) and have gotten hints of wanting a new truck.
Mother's day he slept in.
One of my daughters tried so hard to help me make a great breakfast and made a card (love her so much). I planned activities and bought take out then cleaned dishes after. He would not even eat breakfast because he's not a breakfast person and wouldn't sit with us.
I am fed up. Mad.
I want more for me and my four kids. And I'm expected to plan his birthday (nothing for mine last month other than what I planned) and Father's day too.
Honestly how can I work past these emotions? I want to but I am so angry lately. Sorry it's a rant.
(Irrelevant maybe bit he has previously cheated several times years ago and I do still hold a grudge).

I just need to vent about the girls next level pod episode where bridget, Holly, and hefs son, Marston talked about crystal hefners book.
I made a post on that reddit but they're mostly loyal holly-bridget fans.
Here's my thoughts:
Crystal has her faults for sure but they just seemed to be going IN on her. I didn't really care for their insistence that there would a "correct" or "right' way to relay her experiences. They kept saying "well she should have just said it like this" it's like but why? It's doesn't seem very fair to say what a person should and should not do when it comes to explaining their own personal experiences. "If she wanted the bag and run then she should just said that" like what? This is HER book lol
Holly has been acting weird with crystal for years! Back on old Twitter accusing her of copying. Holly was the one who left and wanted to back off being associated with hugh and the mansion soooo....At the end of the day does it matter? Like I don't even remember or know wtf she was specifically accusing crystal of copying. I just remember her constantly making the claim. Honestly it's silly and a bit childish.
The other thing I found bizarre is the claim... "why didn't she just leave" like aren't we evolved enough as a society to dispell "women can just leave"...women stay in abusive situations well past the point the average person would.
For fucks sake doesn't holly more or less make a claim like that too in her book.... that she stayed hoping things would get better?
IN THE SECRETS OF PLAYBOY the exposé on Hugh they depicted holly as someone who played 3 dimensional chess and manipulated her way to number 1 girlfriend and pushed other girlfriends out and what not. (This was claimed in a few episodes not just the st. James episode) I'm 100% sure holly would disavow those claims and would call it hersay so why accuse crystal of the same thing?
Marston is set on depicting his dad as, "a man with faults but at the end of the day we was a jolly guy who enjoyed board games."
I don't blame him for wanting to depict his dad that way... he is his dad, after all.
But goddamn talk about bending the truth and re writing history. Hef drugged girls, had them perform mass orgies through the use of coercion playing on the girls need for room and board, food and money not the mention the hope of being featured in the magazine. Holly and bridget openly ADMIT they wanted to be in the magazine! Hugh chose women to the youngest possible legal age. There's also allegations of beastiality.
There's no such thing as being there "for the right reasons" anyone who actively participated in his life inadvertently co-signed his behavior. However, I WOULD NEVER blame the women for the actions of that idiot. But just because you turned a blind eye and began to bond with your capture doesn't mean you're there for the right reasons.
Everyone was aware that he was a perverted dirty old man who had sex with newly aged adults. And they stayed. Why? Everyone had their reasons. Your reasons isn't more valid than anyone else's.
Also house mold comes from water damage, Marston himself corroborated there was mold.
Also the mansion was purchased right before hefs death and completely renovated after he died because the mansion was a piece a shit by that point and became a hoarders den.
Holly has spoken at length about how there was piles and piles of things everywhere and dog shit stains on the carpets and that Hugh refused to open a godamn window never allowing fresh air to circulate
The mansion was purchased in the 60s? Was never PROPERLY tended. I feel like the surface it seemed fine but footage of marys office/Hugh's room was always overwhelming to look at with the amount of piles of crap everywhere.
Did crystal exaggerate things or bend the truth. I have no doubts that she did.
Is she fucking with hefs legacy... absolutely, as she should. Did she take money from him? Absolutely, as should. Does she want to take 100% credit for her success and exploit the hefner name for her benefit while denying Hugh credit for her success when he definitely supplied her for the means to be successful? Absolutely, as she should.

I do apologizes if this is all over the place.
So I am currently waiting on orientation, I browsing youtube for help and lots of the video are just "How to get your degree in 6 months?" and then I saw a video saying that if you're gonna rush this courses just to get a degree you're not really learning/retain the info. I want to learn what I need to know at the same time not waste anytime. Any tips? I am going for Supply Chain & Operations Management for those who ask.
I know the math course I'll able to blow thru them cause I'm good at math, my 2 English classes I took previously college, along with a History class from Civil War to the present. So I got at least 2 classes down out of 36, with 9 credit hours. So those are down.
As soon as you're finish with orientation, Can you automatic get started with the program?

I have booked a Kansai-Hiroshima Pass for dates 22 May to 26 May (5 days).
I am overwhelmed by the information provided in the website and confused by what is written in the website and the mail I got.
Please someone help me for the following questions:

1. I have booked the pass online via JRWest website (by credit card).
   • Where do I have to collect this pass/ticket/voucher? (I selected Kyoto Station but in the website it's written this pass is only available in Osaka station)
   • It's also written that if I book via credit card and my passport doesn't have an IC in it, I will have to collect it from Ticket Office (not Ticket Machines). And in the availability page, ticket offices are not shown in the Kyoto station.
2. How do I book trains (Shinkansen & other Express trains) once I collect this pass? Is it offline in the station machines? Can I book trains online before I collect the pass?

Please help me, I am overwhelmed and the more I read, the more I get confused....

The crystal podcast featuring Marston rubbed me the wrong way...
Is crystal fucking with hefs legacy... absolutely, as she should. Did she take money from him? Absolutely, as should. Does she want to take 100% credit for her success and exploit the hefner name for her benefit while denying Hugh credit for her success when he definitely supplied her for the means to be successful? Absolutely, as she should.
Crystal has her faults for sure but they just seemed to be going IN on her. I didn't really care for their insistence that there would a "correct" or "right' way to relay her experiences. They kept saying "well she should have just said it like this" it's like but why? It's doesn't seem very fair to say what a person should and should not do when it comes to explaining their own personal experiences. "If she wanted the bag and run then she should just said that" like what? This is HER book lol
Holly has been acting weird with crystal for years! Back on old Twitter accusing her of copying. Holly was the one who left and wanted to back off being associated with hugh and the mansion soooo....At the end of the day does it matter? Like I don't even remember or know wtf she was specifically accusing crystal of copying. I just remember her constantly making the claim. Honestly it's silly and a bit childish.
The other thing I found bizarre is the claim... "why didn't she just leave" like aren't we evolved enough as a society to dispell "women can just leave"...women stay in abusive situations well past the point the average person would.
For fucks sake doesn't holly more or less make a claim like that too in her book.... that she stayed hoping things would get better?
IN THE SECRETS OF PLAYBOY the exposé on Hugh they depicted holly as someone who played 3 dimensional chess and manipulated her way to number 1 girlfriend and pushed other girlfriends out and what not. (This was claimed in a few episodes not just the st. James episode) I'm 100% sure holly would disavow those claims and would call it hersay so why accuse crystal of the same thing?
Marston is set on depicting his dad as, "a man with faults but at the end of the day we was a jolly guy who enjoyed board games."
I don't blame him for wanting to depict his dad that way... he is his dad, after all.
But goddamn talk about bending the truth and re writing history. Hef drugged girls, had them perform mass orgies through the use of coercion playing on the girls need for room and board, food and money not the mention the hope of being featured in the magazine. Holly and bridget openly ADMIT they wanted to be in the magazine! Hugh chose women to the youngest possible legal age. There's also allegations of beastiality.
There's no such thing as being there "for the right reasons" anyone who actively participated in his life inadvertently co-signed his behavior. However, I WOULD NEVER blame the women for the actions of that idiot. But just because you turned a blind eye and began to bond with your capture doesn't mean you're there for the right reasons.
Everyone was aware that he was a perverted dirty old man who had sex with newly aged adults. And they stayed. Why? Everyone had their reasons. Your reasons isn't more valid than anyone else's.
Also house mold comes from water damage, Marston himself corroborated there was mold.
Also the mansion was purchased right before hefs death and completely renovated after he died because the mansion was a piece a shit by that point and became a hoarders den.
Holly has spoken at length about how there was piles and piles of things everywhere and dog shit stains on the carpets and that Hugh refused to open a godamn window never allowing fresh air to circulate
The mansion was purchased in the 60s? Was never PROPERLY tended. I feel like the surface it seemed fine but footage of marys office/Hugh's room was always overwhelming to look at with the amount of piles of crap everywhere.
Did crystal exaggerate things or bend the truth. I have no doubts that she did.
But I'll reiterate my initial point:
Is she fucking with hefs legacy... absolutely, as she should. Did she take money from him? Absolutely, as should. Does she want to take 100% credit for her success and exploit the hefner name for her benefit while denying Hugh credit for her success when he definitely supplied her for the means to be successful? Absolutely, as she should.

Intro

It’s not much of a stretch to say that violence is the primary form of interaction in video games. With a handful of exceptions, most video games involve guys whacking other guys, with varying degrees of brutality. Even chill games fall into this - Stardew Valley has sections with combat in them! Considering the pervasiveness of violence in video games, there has been a ton of amateur and academic commentary on the topic. However, while this is a well-established school of thought, I haven’t seen people try to apply this to Fire Emblem specifically.
So, let’s do that now! In this post, I’ll be exploring how violence in Fire Emblem is implemented - what limitations are placed on violence, how it warps wider game and narrative design, and what it implicitly says and does not say. I hope this post doesn’t come off as too early-2010s “makes you think”-y, but I do think there are multiple interesting things worth talking about here!
Despite the length of this post, "a brief discussion" is an appropriate title, as we won't be able to go into depth on everything. After all, video games are holistic works, so the attitude towards violence is relevant to every aspect of their design. However, I have managed to wrangle some of these threads into the following structure: first a discussion on the fundamental mode of interaction in Fire Emblem, then how stories are constructed with regards to violence, and ending with the aesthetics of violence and how they relate to characters. Also, as FE is a huge series, be aware that I am gonna be making some broad statements which may not apply to each individual plot point of every game. I actually planned to write 3 case studies around Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses (which have the most interesting attitudes to violence in the series IMO) which point out these deviations, but this post is way too long and full of tangents already. If people are interested, I’ll make a followup to this post which goes into them in more detail. Also also, because of the nature of this post, I’ll actually give a useful TL;DR for once:
TL;DR: Nintendo games must be fun mechanically, and they can’t be too uncomfortable narratively. If you try to provide a counterpoint by saying “oh this Kirby final boss is super dark it eats 100 morbillion galaxies”, you do not deserve rights. IntSys has to keep to this as a 2nd party publisher, but they also have to deal with the fact that their games are at least nominally about ‘war’ (or at least they put their toes into that particular thematic pool). This conflict between making a fun video game for children/teens and the wider framing of the narrative leads to interesting narrative and aesthetic tensions. also fun is cringe, misery is based

“Do you like hurting other people?” (or The Fundamental Mode of Interaction)

OK LISTEN I KNOW I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS A EARLY 2010s “VIOLENCE IN VIDYA BAD :O????” PERSON BUT I SWEAR I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
The best place to start when talking about violence in video games is to think about the primary form of interaction in said game. In the case of Fire Emblem, this is in the in-chapter gameplay. Sure, in objective terms the player moves arbitrary objects across a 2D grid which perform subtraction on arbitrary objects controlled by the computer, but this is always framed as controlling a squad of soldiers to engage in (typically lethal) combat with enemies (who are normally also soldiers). When you’re not doing this in-chapter gameplay, you are preparing for the next chapter of combat. This involves surveying the area of combat, preparing weapon loadouts, etc, however more recent entries also include light life-sim-esque elements. To summarize, Fire Emblem’s interactivity involves ordering violence as well as the preparations to order said violence.
For players, this strategic thinking is extremely fun and is the primary draw of the series! You have all these tier lists of who’s better at killing, discussion of the maps where you do the killing, complaints about the length of gameplay sections where you don’t do killing, etc. This is by design, as while I don’t know the core brand tenets of Nintendo, I imagine the Reggie quote “If it isn’t fun, why bother?” is carved into a solid gold statue of Mario in the office lobby. This then is enforced on all associated studios, including IntSys and so Fire Emblem. While I would disagree with that Reggie quote (especially the bit where he says “If it’s not a battle, where’s the fun?” which is a wild statement to make about an entire medium), this approach to making games is ultimately fine, and so IntSys tailored the strategic gameplay to be satisfying to your dopamine receptors. You could analyse what the normalisation of violence even in ‘just for fun’ games says about wider gaming culture, but I won’t get into that here. In any case, let’s dig into a few specifics of FE’s interactivity.
One thing that’s interesting with regard to strategy games is the detached perspective of the player. You order units and observe the resulting violence, but it’s not tactile, you don’t directly swing the sword or shoot the bow or cast the spell like with action games. This adds a layer of separation between the player and what fundamentally happens, at least within the framing that the game provides. It’s not like Call of Duty, where your relationship to the violence is very visceral, where you view everything down the barrel of a gun. OK, I probably shouldn’t use a series that I have very little personal experience with (I only listen to the supplementary lore material, so let’s talk about Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. While you’re not directly in the driver’s seat, John Sekiro reacts to your every input with extreme responsiveness, so overcoming the game’s challenges i.e. stabbing people is incredibly visceral and satisfying. While this violence is fantastical in nature, there is sufficient blood and explicit sword-action to clearly say “oh yeah you are violently killing all of those bozos with a katana”. Coming back to FE, not only are you far more detached from the violence, it is presented in an extremely cartoony manner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’ll get to the aesthetics later. Point is, Fire Emblem gives the viewpoint of a stoic commander, who Does What Needs To Be Done™, and not the viewpoint of an actual soldier who has to do the actual killing.
Now let’s view the player’s perspective on violence from a different angle. Fire Emblem intends for its combat to be relatively relaxed on the player side of things - the turn-based nature allows the player to calmly think through all of their moves, and you typically have perfect information on the enemies. The only exceptions to this are Fog of WaSame Turn Reinforcements, which are rare and typically unpopular amongst the fanbase. This leans into ‘combat as sport’, where (going back to the Reggie quote) you have a fun time picking apart a puzzle with the tools you have, and we all collectively enjoy this! This is a valid way of designing strategy games, and I like what IntSys has done. However, it’s not the only way of making these games - for example, in Total War you have to juggle all your battalions in real time whilst the enemy is bearing down on you, and the XCOM games always have Fog of War and limited information on the enemies, with you never knowing what kind of awful new monster is going to suddenly charge at you. Don’t get me wrong, neither of these follow ‘combat as war’, the principle that violence should properly mimic the stress, tension and unfairness of actual conflict. Hell, neither of them are particularly mature either - Total War is the strategy game equivalent of smashing action figures together, and XCOM emulates a pulp sci-fi alien invasion story. However, the additional pressures these games have make them hew slightly closer to actual conflict, putting you more in that mindset in a way that the clean fun Fire Emblem doesn’t really do. Again, I want to say FE’s approach to violence in in-map gameplay is fine, but when all three of these franchises have an explicit narrative framing of ‘warfare’, it does make Fire Emblem’s narrative a little more… stretched.
Finally, I want to briefly mention the maps. To steal from a brilliant Jacob Geller video, these are Worlds Designed For Violence. At least outside of the Kaga games, the maps you fight on are primarily designed around how the player interacts with them, i.e. fights on them. While I imagine the narrative designers and artists at IntSys are involved throughout the map design process, the gameplay flow probably takes precedence most of the time. Maps are not designed to resemble realistic places that you have to fight through, they are instead designed primarily to provide fun gameplay experiences before being dressed up by the artists to look realistic/fit the specific story beat. This is a more consistently entertaining approach to map design - heaven knows we have a lot of Kaga castle assault maps which are as fun as actually assaulting an entrenched position IRL - but this lack of friction could potentially take the bite out of the intended vibe, neuter any commentary on violence throughout the story.
You may have noticed that we’ve only talked about the “in-map” gameplay for now, when there’s an entire second half of these games, i.e. all the gameplay between the maps. Don’t worry, we’ll get to all of that, but this may fit better in:

Something something “ludonarrative” something something (or Narrative Implications)

(To clarify, here I’m going to talk about the wider plots and narrative structure as opposed to characterisation, as that fits more into the aesthetics of the series)
It’s not bold to say that the narratives of games have to warp around the core gameplay structure. Especially in AAA video game production, the narrative designers usually have to take a back seat to the systems and level designers, at least outside of the initial rough outline they provide in the original game pitch. In this case, the job of the writer is to form vaguely coherent connective tissue between individual levels, setpieces and expensive pre-rendered cutscenes. This must be a very difficult job, and is probably the reason why most video game stories are the way they are. I am not privy to IntSys internal meetings, but I imagine they abide by this paradigm, trying to give a reason for why you fight 20 battles which roughly align with plot beats that were decided years ago.
Put another way, the writers of Fire Emblem must contrive a reason why the characters fight a vast number of violent battles in a strategic manner. This has a pretty easy solution - war! We have found something it’s good for, as whenever the gameplay designers decide that an extra map is required, the writers can just insert “oh no there’s a blockade of enemy soldiers in the way, guess you gotta kill them all”. This is the case for almost all the games and is a fair enough narrative choice, as it’s frankly one of the few scenarios where you could reasonably contrive so many battles, but it’s worth examining this in a bit more detail.
Even in the framing of warfare, there are still a lot of skirmishes, which sometimes the narrative or tone fails to support - or at least, their presence means that violence isn’t taken that seriously. Let’s take an example from early in Awakening: Emmeryn sends the Shepherds to negotiate an alliance with Regna Ferox. On the way, they are ambushed by Risen on the Northroad (1), have to fight the border guards who think Chrom is a bandit I think??? (2), and then after arriving they need to take part in Regna Ferox’s ritual combat to secure their alliance (3). These beats aren’t necessarily bad, and I actually think Awakening uses these opportunities quite well: the Risen are established as a constant threat to the world (except not really in the main story but that’s a whole other thing), “Marth'' gets more development, we set up Regna Ferox as fighty people who like to fight, and while the middle encounter is very tenuous it does set up a funny joke in Cynthia’s paralogue. However, I want to communicate that if the map/encounter designers need X maps between plot points A and B - in this case, needing low-stakes trials in the tutorial period - then there’s gonna be a fair bit of narrative filler. That is to say, there must be multiple combat encounters that kinda just happen, which makes violence a lot more casual in the narrative. See also the myriad examples of “oh shit random bandits attack!”, used to have a lower stakes map, with bandits appearing and vanishing as needed. This works fine enough in the context of ‘combat as sport’, allowing your favourite scrunglo to build up a triple-digit body count, but this casual attitude circumvents potentially interesting ideas with regards violence. Taking the example further, banditry and its causes are never seriously explored, as bandits are just treated as a filler enemy (except in Based As Hell Thracia 776).
Another narrative consequence of needing so many fights is that… you need to fight. That is to say, any anti-war sentiment or appeal to diplomacy in the series is fundamentally undercut by a) strategic combat being a core appeal of the series and b) narrative beats needing to be structured around fighting enemies. It’s a struggle to have moments of diplomacy and reconciliation when you had a fight within 3 minutes of said moment, lest some people start screaming that things are getting boring. This also makes any appeals to pacifism kinda moot. Xander’s quote about “war bad” in Conquest is utter bullshit, as a huge part of the marketing around that route focuses on the coolness of the tactical combat and its challenge. Eirika and Ephraim can never be equal, because Ephraim’s “fighting is fucken awesome” is encouraged by the gameplay, and Eirika can NEVER save 11037 because we need a final boss and no-one else fits the bill.
Speaking of, in video games it’s best practice to have a big bad guy you fight at the end of the story, the toughest mechanical challenge coinciding with the narrative climax. In Fire Emblem, you have one grand final battle which decides the fate of the war and/or world, before cutting to a brief wrap-up and then credits. This is an attempt to make these games satisfying, which is fine, but this is at odds with an anti-war message (which FE often gestures towards) - that is, actual wars tend to be deeply unsatisfying in a narrative sense! Oftentimes, after a decisive battle, things just kinda keep going for a little while afterwards with casualties continuing to pile up until peace terms are agreed. In the few cases where there is a final battle, it’s more of a formality as the decisive moment occurred months ago. See World War 1 and… World War 2 for examples of each, not to mention a whole host of war-related books and films. The problem with doing this in a video game is that it would require having multiple one-sided fights past the most climatic fight, which would be unfun, and we return to that fucking Reggie quote again. While video games can effectively explore this anti-war narrative space - This War of Mine is a fantastic example - it just doesn’t gel with the fun games that IntSys wants to make. I bring this up in the context of FE because Fire Emblem has such an aesthetic focus on warfare compared to other video games, so it sticks out even further. Even in FE6/FE9 where the war is effectively over in the final few maps, the enemies still remain extremely challenging, because if they didn’t things would be boring.
A few minor things that didn’t fit in above before we wrap up this section. First of all, in making an action packed story, Fire Emblem neglects an important aspect of army life in warfare - the “hurrying up and waiting”. In the majority of cases, the breaks between fights is under 10 minutes, it’s just glossed over. Fire Emblem Three Houses is the exception to this, but there it’s more framed as school life. Some people may say “what’s the point in having large amounts of timewasting where nothing happens in my game about war” and to that I would say fuck you, I want to play Jarhead Emblem. Next, Fire Emblem involves fighting people AND monsters, but these targets are typically given equal narrative weight, outside of maybe a funny line of dialogue about someone being afraid of monsters. In 99% of cases, enemy soldiers you fight have no more humanity than literal monsters. The death of any of your beloved soldiers is a tragedy with big sad death quotes, the death of those poor fuckers is quite literally a statistic which is proudly used to rank how well your guys have done at the end of the game. Finally, the limited scope of the violence the series can show limits the potential impact of scenes. In some cases, this is good as the implication is enough, e.g. the ‘Monica’ scene in Sacred Stones is wonderfully grim and would be weakened by anything explicit. However, a number of other scenes are neutered by the limitations on violence. This fundamentally relates to the aesthetics of the series:

insert prozd tweet/skit here (or Aesthetics, Tone, and Characters)

I’ve been talking a lot about ‘the violence committed’, and this might have seemed a bit weird to you. It’s a true statement, but because the violence is mostly cartoony and abstracted - bad guys disappear into nothingness, there’s no blood, etc - it’s hard to think of it in that way. It’s basically impossible to place Fire Emblem in the same artistic sphere as, say, All Quiet on the Western Front. This aesthetic sense was partially tech-limited in the early NES and SNES games, which was grandfathered into the more graphically complex titles, but it’s also related to how the aesthetics unavoidably warp the tone of the work. IntSys needs their games to be relatively lighthearted and unconcerned with the consequences of its violence, as one of the core appeals of these games is the charming cast of characters. As you would expect, it would be a lot harder to appreciate your goofy blorbos and their lighthearted chats about nothing if you could see the brutal consequences of their triple digit body counts. If violence was more realistic, there would be a lot less “ooh I like training and/or this one hyperspecific food” or “I like peace, but I guess violence may be possibly needed sometimes” and there would have to be a lot more trauma and dourness. There are also age rating concerns, as you can’t exactly sell Come And See Emblem to pre-teens. And once more, to clarify: Fire Emblem as it exists now is fine! I like the lighthearted tone of this series, and I like the characters that reside within it. However, a few problems do arise from IntSys’s approach to violence, as occasionally they brush up against darker ideas but (due to similar reasons to the above) they can never commit to them, which neuters their potential impact. This is especially troublesome with regards to characterisation, as the little dudes are a core appeal, so if something is off that could cause problems. In a sense, at points we have severe aesthetic tension.
A fairly useful case study to see how this affects characterisation is with Mozu in Fire Emblem Fates. Mozu is a charming character, a genial country bumpkin with a bit of an edge at times, who has fond memories of her hometown. This lines up with the lighthearted tone of her recruitment paralogue, where (checks notes) her entire village gets massacred by inhuman monsters, with her mother literally being murdered right in front of her, and she joins up with Corrin’s party because there is literally nothing left of her old life. I understand that people who experience extreme trauma do still manage to live meaningful lives, and that IntSys wouldn’t want to have a character who is a barely functional traumatised mess for 90% of the campaign. However, this doesn’t explain the sheer dissonance between the relatively normal and well-adjusted Mozu who quietly remembers her lost loved ones, and the fact that her village got My Lai’d a handful of weeks ago in the game’s timeline. IMO this would work a lot better if there were a few survivors (instead of literally everyone else dying), with Mozu actively choosing to leave her old life to help others instead of being forced to leave by circumstance. This reduction in scope would mitigate the dissonance between the character and what actually happens to her. This is by far the most extreme example in the series, however I’m sure you can think of others. My issue here is not with having ‘normal’ characters, or with them suffering tragedies, my issue is the dissonance between the two when viewing the scope of said tragedies. This is just one way the series wants to get into darker territory, then swiftly backing off instead of delving into the consequences.
This aesthetic restriction also affects the potential impact of dramatic scenes in the main story, limiting what the focus of these scenes can actually be. This little bit will involve heavy spoilers for Genealogy of the Holy War and Spec Ops: The Line (I KNOW THESE GAMES ARE VERY DIFFERENT WITH VERY DIFFERENT INTENDED DEMOGRAPHICS IN VERY DIFFERENT CULTURAL CONTEXTS, SHUT UP). Both have a very important narrative moment around their midpoints, involving fire magic/white phosphorus respectively. In each game, the deaths that occur are utterly horrific when you think about them. In FE4 the focus is on the drama of the plot twist and effects on the characters, with the actual effects of the violence being left to implication. We don’t know if this was the original intent of Kaga and the team, or if this was enforced by various tech- and publisher-related restrictions, but in either case we do not see anything explicit. In any case, in Spec Ops: The Line, the horror and graphic nature of the violence is completely inescapable, and therefore forms the core of the turning point of the story. The specifics of the violence itself are crucial - the game does not work if you don’t see the consequences of the white phosphorus - and it leads beautifully to the complete descent of its endgame. You may be saying “of course you couldn’t show that violence in FE, it’s a kids game” which is true, and in any case the scene in Genealogy is very good, even without showing the violence. I imagine if we get a remake in the year 202X we wouldn’t see anything explicit anyway, partially due to the publisher but also because the scene doesn’t necessarily need it. The point I am trying to make is that the aesthetics form a limitation on what Fire Emblem can explore, narrative space that the series fundamentally cannot reach.
One more thing, and this isn’t really about the games themselves but the impressions leading into them, and how the aesthetics can affect that. Do you guys remember when the intro cutscene of Three Houses was released a few weeks before release? I do, and I also remember the collective shock of the community when seeing the early previews. It was so drastically different to everything that had come before, and consequently was really intriguing - you can see a lot of speculation in the above comments. To clarify, I don’t want to pretend that 3H is some kind of super mature ultra gritty war story, or that blood = good game, but that beginning cutscene gave one hell of a first impression. Even though the game isn’t that much darker than any other FE game, the sheer unexpectedness put people off-kilter in a kinda awesome way. Does the game actually deliver? YMMV, but I think this (and some of the later cutscenes, such as the mid-game Dimitri one) work quite well. Sometimes, a little injection of harsher violence can go a long way.

Conclusion

Frankly I don’t really have a conclusion, sorry. As you can see, there are so many disparate strands, I can’t possibly make one grand thesis statement. Maybe the inherent contradictions of having warfare in a family friendly video game weakens the potential end result? I guess, but I don’t want to imply that what we have now is bad, as it is pretty good tbh. So, uhh…
…
OK, if I had to say something, it’s more about the process of making this. Having to try and think about how violence intersects with a video game you like takes you in a number of different directions. Ultimately, this process was really fulfilling for me, and I would recommend that you do the same (for FE or anything else)! Trying to analyse something you enjoy from a perspective not usually applied is pretty neat. If you guys have any thoughts (on the points above or your own), I’d be very interested to hear them!
Also, if people are interested, I’ll try to make a few case studies. I would focus on Thracia 776, Fates, and Three Houses, as (when thinking on this topic) I found that these games were consistently the most intriguing, with the most interesting relationships to violence. This would probably take a while though, as I am gonna be very busy in June, and I probably won’t have time this month either.

Description (for Listener): You’re the dutiful guardian of the door for your complex. In a world overrun by doppelgangers whose most recent gimmick is sneaking into the guarded apartments. You must keep the sanctity of the system if only to protect your beloved neighbors. To do your job the best you often have to entertain your more chatty neighbors.
Alternate Description (for Speaker): You’ve returned from a long day of work, wanting nothing more than to convince your favorite neighbor—the door person—your muse! Too bad their simply stuck on this one neighbor; you’ll have to think about how to get rid of him as soon as possible.

A/N: It’s been a while but I’m happy to get writing again!
This is up for monetization just credit me, please! If you put this behind a paywall just privately message me!
I'm alright with improvising for this script!
All [Sounds] are suggestions!
Also if anyone is interested, here’s my Masterlist!
Anyway Enjoy,
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
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(Neighbor Speaker)
Ah, it’s you again! Isn’t it just crazy that every time it’s your shift we end up bumping into each other? Crazy, right?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh! Right! Here are my papers, and my ID, and if you’d like I wouldn’t mind throwing in the latest issue of ‘Know Your Neighbor!’
(Neighbor Speaker)
Turns out my hunch was right! They were planning to bump me up and now I’ve got my column on the second page on the right.
(Neighbor Speaker)
See?
(Neighbor Speaker)
In a world like the one we live in, us neighbors need to keep close tabs on each other. Don’t you agree?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Wow, I didn’t think you’d be so opinionated about it but I would be lying if I hadn’t heard that criticism before. While many may say writing about this always-kept-anonymous–character of the perfect neighbor might give away too much to any doppelgangers smart enough to read. I see it as a way to alert others about seeing the good and noticing the best parts of your neighbors.
(Neighbor Speaker)
So any guesses as to who you think I might be talking about?
(Neighbor Speaker)
It’s…not the milkman.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Not Elenois. Knowing her she’d sooner skin me than bother with her reputation.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Any other guesses?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I am positive I am not talking about the milkman. You really like bringing him up, don’t you?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I mean I’m sure some people will consider the bags under his eyes, his monotone voice, and his grumpy personality kind of cute.
(Neighbor Speaker)
What? I’m just saying we’ve had quite a few doppelgangers almost make it in here because they imitate him. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the one in here now was one.
Selling his new creation scarlet milk and expecting no one to be suspicious. That guy’s a weirdo and I just don’t know what you see in him.
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’m clearly so much better.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh? Everything checks out? Great as expected of my favorite door person! Always doing your best to protect us from those sneaky doppelgangers.
[Metal Door Opening]
[Stepping Through Door]
[Metal Door Closing]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Uh hey, how soon is your shift over?
(Neighbor Speaker)
I was wondering if you’d like to maybe come to my apartment. I have some snacks and I’ve got a radio! You and I can cuddle up on the couch have a drink or two and listen to the radio show.
(Neighbor Speaker)
But if you don’t want to do that I definitely have some other cool things we can do! Have ourselves a friendly–maybe romantic sleepover.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Your shift ends when the last person in the building comes? That’s backward, people spend the whole day doing spontaneous things. Heck, even I know reporting for leave I won’t just be going to work I’ll have a friendly meal at the cafe while I write plans for my column.
(Neighbor Speaker)
If you can believe it, my muse often doesn’t leave the building/ While it’s nice to write near them all I can do is watch and spend time with you er–them when I’m at home. A lovely inconvenience, eh? The neighbor I want to protect distracts me from pretty much everything.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Anyway, who are we waiting on for you to finish?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Ah, speak of the devil.
(Neighbor Speaker)
So you really can’t end your day without this guy coming through.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Hypothetically if you were to end your shift early what would happen to him?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Locked out of the complex for the night? At the defense of doppelgangers until morning? That sorry sleepy sack of bones?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Sounds perfect!
(Neighbor Speaker)
I mean for those nasty doppelgangers! That’s probably what they’d think if you hypothetically ended your shift early.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Uhm if you’d like I can keep you company! I still have a drink or two saved from the office! The bottle’s barely finished and I most certainly could use your help finishing it!
It’s okay you’re practically done besides between the two of us we can spot any doppelgangers, right?
(Neighbor Speaker)
So? Are you game?
(Neighbor Speaker)
So hesitant…I thought your job was to protect your neighbors. Well, currently your poor neighbor is suffering without a drink. So my favorite door guardian, my muse–will you help me?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes! I have the glasses!
[Drinks Clinking]
[Sounds of Drink Pouring]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Bottoms up!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oooh, that was a good chug! Think you could stomach another?
(Neighbor Speaker)
Wow, you’re such a trooper but I bet you can’t beat my record. I’ve had over five full glasses in one go.
[Bottle Being Snatched]
[Bottle Quickly Being Chugged]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Whoa that’s a lot are you going to be able to stand?
[Body falling from Chair]
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’m not complaining! You are my muse after all! My favorite neighbor is especially cute when drinking far too much!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Alright, up you go!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Hey, how about we head to your apartment instead? It’s so hard trying to get a copy of your key it’d just be easier if you let me inside. A good neighbor should always have the means to check on you–especially when you spend all day protecting all of us.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Do you think you can start heading that way, now? That’s my muse!
[Slow Labored Footsteps Fading]
(Neighbor Speaker)
In the meantime, I’ll just start wrapping up your workstation.
[Papers Shuffling]
[Hurried Footsteps]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh, the… milkman. Good to see you.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yeah, I’m just filling in for them, they went to the bathroom.
(Neighbor Speaker)
I’ll just check everything and let you in.
(Neighbor Speaker)
The entry request, and the ID everything checks out….
(Neighbor Speaker)
Except…oh no…your appearance.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes, your perfectly chiseled face and tired eyes that my muse just can’t seem to get enough of.
(Neighbor Speaker)
That's a problem. Plus you don’t have all the proper documents.
[Shredder Starts]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oops turns out you’re claiming to be a neighbor of mine who’s still out and about. That’s a shame.
[Banging against Glass]
(Neighbor Speaker)
And so violent, it’s best I call the D.D.D.
[Button Pressed]
[Alarm goes Off]
[Phone Clicking]
[Phone Ringing]
(Neighbor Speaker)
Yes, we have a doppelganger, here that needs removing. Thank you!
(Neighbor Speaker)
Now my favorite Neighbor can end their day and spend all their time with me.
(Neighbor Speaker)
No more of that milk…man getting in my way.
(Neighbor Speaker)
Oh my muse, I’m coming be careful going up those stairs! I’m coming sweetie!

I’m planning to get pre-approved for a car loan for the first time and I’m curious; Can I finance with the dealership if they have a better offer than my pre-approved from my bank? My credit score is 720, planning on $5000 down on a used car ($13,000 - 16,000). How do people use their pre-approved loan? Like do they go to the dealer and tell them that you are pre-approved or see what the dealer offers? What are the tips for buying a used car?

I made a terrible mistake today, as an inexperienced international traveler.
At the Hong Kong airport I used a currency exchange service called Travelex.
I wanted to exchange 4,000 Chinese RMB for whatever I could get in Philippine Pesos. (I am a semi-retired teacher who taught in China until I reached the retirement age here - now I intend to travel around Asia awhile before going back to the states to teach until I die :P)
So Travelex gave me about 24,000 Phil Pesos for the 4,000 RMB.
Now, having lived in the USA and China (where folks are generally fair to each other) I did not expect to get taken for a huge loss while exchanging money. I assumed there might be international regulations or airport or Hong Kong regulations.
After I checked in and had some time, I went online and saw that a real exchange would have been 4,000 RMB to 31,000 Pesos.
Travelex took about 7,000 pesos from me during this exchange. That's about $121. They took about 1/4th of my money away.
I am really upset about this. I wrote to them about this and I'll write to the airport and anyone else who will listen, but most of all, I am hoping that I might help other people avoid this situation.
How does an experienced traveler exchange cash? Do you just go to the country and take money from an ATM machine? Do you just use your credit card (I really don't want to do this). Can you go to a bank and exchange the money more fairly?
I am kicking myself now for getting taken like this - if I can learn from this and help others to learn, I'll feel less ill than I do now. $121 is a lot of money to me.
Thank you -

The story about me (36f) and my sister (38f) is long and complicated, so I’ll try to summarise as short as possible, which is long anyway. (English is not my first language - sorry for grammar!)
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?

So, I've been a semi nomadic sketchbag for my entire adult life(39afab), and disabled since before i grew tits. campers , buses, backpacks, hitching from NY to ATL to The ville, haggling with chinatown bus drivers, the occasional hop out of rocky mount, trading tit pics for airline credit or gas, whoring for truck repairs, facilitating psychoactives, etc etc. last year i ended up in the hospital, numb from the waist down, not because of a car wreck, fight, or fall.... because i grew a cyst inside one of my vertebrae. two emergency surgeries in a week . I was told I'd never walk again, made peace with the fact id never have another genital orgasm, and started learning how to straight cath myself so i could be independent of the piss bag. To everyone else's surprise, i got competent with a wheelchair , and then a walker, and now i use a cane about half the time. no need to catheterize, and i can use my genitals again. Pretty awesome. but what sucks is.... i can't even carry water. a gallon is 8#. my lift limit is five pounds, and even that is agony to carry for more than about 2 miles. recently relocated on the word of former partner, and they have basically hung me out to dry - housing was promised but not actually available, and i don't have like 3k laying around to toss at a lease... and, Praise Eris, how frustrating. it's damn near summer, weather's good, there's hella urban camping available. but i can't even haul water. i use rolling luggage for my personal 'property. so instead of making camp and figuring out stuff from the comfort of my own independence, I'm begging friends and family to help me stay.. somewhere. I'm going to have to leave this city/region to have stability again, and doing so means i have to drop out of school. you dont know what you got till it's gone. your health and the accompanying ability to do what you need to is fucking invaluable. to all you vagabonds: take care of yourselves. hop a freightliner for me. hike that ravine that i can't. tell your sled dogs FASTER, for me. i hope one day i will be well enough to shrug off being tossed on. the street as the minor inconvenience it used to be, but until then... get it, y'all. don't let your spirit die. see you on the road.

My Ex-Boyfriend chose his adopted cats over his unborn child
My boyfriend (39) and I (29) decided to live together last year.
Everything seemed fine. Before he met me, he knew I had a 5-year-old child and that I wasn't married. He also had a cat. We moved in together, but he left his cat with his family.
In our new place, a stray cat started visiting us regularly, and we fed it often. I noticed he became attached to the stray, so we decided to adopt it to help him miss his cat less. I suggested we keep the cat indoors because my child often gets sick and got admitted a few times, but he got upset because the stray wasn’t used to living inside. So, I let it be even though the cat sometimes caught mice and climbed on the table. I'm not a cat person, but I tried to adjust.
When we started living together, I even adjusted my life and my son's needs. My son used to have S26 milk, but we had to switch to Bear Brand. Meanwhile, I saw my boyfriend ordering boxes of food and never buying new toys for my son ever. These red flags made me feel neglected and unimportant. We decided to merge all our salaries and split the bills. He managed the money and everything.
The stray cat gave birth to four kittens, and he was very excited and put in a lot of effort to take care of them. I wanted to rehome them because we were both busy as I have two jobs and a child to care for. We barely go out since there's a cats in our home, and he feels uneasy every time we go out for long periods.
As the kittens grew, they made a mess and smelled bad, especially during meals. The litter box besides our table. I couldn’t stand it. His behavior changed, and he told me he'd rehome them once they were older and no longer nursing. But when the time came, he showed no intention of doing so. When his sibling asked if we needed to adopt out the cats, he said he planned to keep them without consulting me.
I was shocked and we argued, making me feel like the bad guy.
Our relationship deteriorated, and every time I went downstairs, the smell made me angry. I felt like I had no say in our home. I told him that if he didn’t rehome the new cats, we would leave. I asked for at least two weeks to find a place and prepare the house I had bought. He responded, "The cats stay no matter what." That’s when I realized he chose the cats over us.
Three days after our conversation, we had a heated argument because the cats made a mess and smelled bad. He yelled at me, "When are you leaving?" He was furious. So, my child and I left immediately.
We moved far away. A few weeks later, he visited me in our new home and tried to reconcile, expressing regret for what happened. Despite everything, I loved him, so I gave him another chance. I decided to give it another try, hoping he might change his principles since we weren't living together anymore. He visited me once a week, but every time he was here, he constantly checked his phone to see how his cats were doing in CCTV. One time, while we were out grocery shopping, he seemed so rushed and preoccupied with his cats at home that it irritated me. At that time, I didn't know I was pregnant.
When I found out I was pregnant, I shared the news with him but kept my condition the same: he must rehome the cats and keep only one. He still refused. His plan was to live in my house while his cats stayed in his house. Instead of resolving things, he accused me of being an attention seeker and insecure. The stress has been overwhelming, and I've even experienced bleeding.
Also, my ex-boyfriend is quite tight on budget and has a lot of credit card debt that he is still paying off. I only found this out after we started living together. One reason I decided to live together was to help him financially. I also bought a house that I'm waiting to be turned over. I thought the additional expenses for the cats would be manageable if it was just one not 5, but with a baby on the way, it’s a different story. He is very firm in his decision. This has made me question everything even more.
So ABYG for asking my exbf to rehome his cats?

I mean she was a neglectful meth head, but when my grandfather let me see her behind my grandmothers' back she seemed to really want to foster a relationship with me.
I was already very eclectic but she introduced me to so many concepts and art and seemed to be supportive of me being openly queer in my teens.
We used to watch scary movies and go to metal shows together, dumpster diving, etc. She really should've never had a kid. She's a big kid herself and I'm not mad about that. She's always cared about animals more than herself too, often having dozens of dogs at a time that she'd find homes for.
In 2019 I let her move in with me when I still had my old home because my aunt committed probate fraud against the both of us and made her homeless. I took her and 15 dogs in because my aunt was driving back and forth past my house trying to intimidate me and I was terrified to be home alone.
My mom wasn't perfect but at least she wasn't like her mother, the conservative nut who raised me...or so I thought.
Lockdown happens and she lost it. She was already up all the time but I'd constantly hear her in these chat rooms with these weird ass men and what made it cringy was how much of a pick-me she was with them.
One time she invited one of her qanon friends over so they could roast me because I don't believe the earth is flat. She literally laughed at me and said ________ has always been ...impressionable hahaha.
She began talking shit about Trans people and started thinking everyone is actually a man. It wasn't long until she was vocal about her disdain for me being gay too. She was never so hateful before, and by her own logic she's probably a man too. She's definitely got the arms of a navy seal and the jawline of someone participating in the fellatio Olympics.
She began inviting all these other awful people to my house, and her meth dealer boyfriend who carried a cross for two years in our town. Even he gets sick of her rants on nasa, vaccines, and transwomen even though he partially agrees her.
I haven't seen her or sent a picture since before my 30th birthday. I'm 31 now and it's because everytime she calls its because she needs to borrow my ID or social security for some bs reason. She ruined my credit and it's taken me years to fix it.
I didn't bother to bring up top surgery to her because I didn't want to hear her vitriol or bronze age mythology references stating that jahovah had a "special role" for me as a "helper" to some scrote. She's already larping like that with breaking bad over there.
Not to mention She's been on the vaccines cause autism train for years, despite the fact that her brother and mother are both on the spectrum and there's a high possibility she is too. I have audhd, the adhd part most likely being from her smoking meth during pregnancy.
I think her homophobia towards me stems from her wanting to be a grandmother but best I can do is four legged cuties.
But on a lighter note I've figured out what I want to send her as a Christmas card:
Me, with my top surgery scars, holding my cat like a baby, by a 5g tower, a NASA hat and a vest that says AUTISM RULES, while I sodomize my equally genderfluid lover while they hold up our vaccine cards.
Whatcha think

(Apologies for poor formatting, I’m on mobile.)
My actual grades are fine; I have high marks in my class, but that’s the problem: it’s only the one class. I know there’s technically no set schedule for these things, but I can’t help but be incredibly disappointed in myself. By this point, I thought I would be transferring to university and moving out of my parent’s house, but I can’t; I’ve only completed 13 credits of the 60 I need to transfer.
It’s like somehow I lost the ability to function academically after I graduated high school. I leave class and homework gets forgotten, even when I set multiple alarms. I’ll go to the library to study and work and end up just staring at the books for hours, getting nothing done and feeling terrible about it. My first year of community college ended up being a pseudo-gap-year with the amount of classes I had to withdraw from, and then last semester I took the “standard” class load and failed about every class. How did I lose the ability to focus on more than one subject at a time?
I want to get a degree, and get a job in my field! Maybe I wouldn’t care as much if I had other interests, but I’m an anthropology major, and that’s not something I can go into without professional credentials, and I want to learn it. Anthropology and ancient human history has been my special interest since before I learned there was even a word for it. I’ve looked, and the types of jobs that are related to the work all require degrees. The closest I could get otherwise would probably be museum tour guide, which wouldn’t be fulfilling.
At the rate I’m going, it’ll be years before I’m even able to transfer to university, and that means years of living at home feeling shitty because I can’t meet my own expectations, and especially not my parent’s expectations. I don’t want to be stuck here forever.
I know that everyone takes life at a different pace and that it’s theoretically fine that I’m going slower than others, and that I’m young (21 next month), and I don’t have to have everything figured out. I still hate it. I still feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time and money by sitting around, barely managing to complete the few assignments I have. I’m trying to be kind to myself, but it’s so hard when I’m always falling short.
What do I even do? I want to be better, I want to eventually graduate with a degree and get a job in the field that I love, I want to be proud of myself! I just feel like maybe I should just give up and find some full time job and forget all about it.