I have Bipolar II, and have been diagnosed since I was a young adult later teenager. I was in denial for a very long time and refused to take meds or have any treatment. Which led to a decade worth of substance abuse. That is a classic symptom of untreated, bipolar, as we self medicate. This led to a few different times I was being baker acted, one time I believe I did see a judge or somebody over video… But I was successfully discharged with medications. However, I was still in denial, and once again started self-medicating with narcotics. The last time I was baker acted was 2019 which led to a week or two stay on the psych unit and then I was officially Marchman acted into the drug and alcohol rehab program at the facility. I completed my Marchman successfully and even stayed past the time I was allowed to discharge and completely finished the program. I successfully graduated the program and discharged in April 2020. I have not used drugs or alcohol since then, I have accepted that I do have bipolar, and I see a psychiatrist regularly as well as continue to have my own personal therapist. which I see every other week, and I do a substance-abuse group weekly. This is by choice, because I feel so good doing all of this that I do not want to rock the boat in anyway and I want to keep my mental health in check. I also regularly attend AA meetings. With the way the world is going right now, and with the increase of crime in my quiet area, I would like to be able to defend myself and my family if it were to ever come down to it. Also, where I live, there is quite a frequency of bears that come into my yard and up by my doors, and I worry if there was ever a situation with an angry bear, I would have defense. So I have been talking in depth with My Therapist and we have come to a place where we both feel safe if I were a gun owner. And we also talked about a plan in case I were to ever become unstable again. This wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision and I have definitely done my homework and a lot of praying and self listening on this decision. So, I did take a class and learned how to use a gun. And I went last week to turn in my 4473 form. However, my background check did not come back instantly so now I’m in the middle of appealing and challenging the state of Florida to get my “not approved” overturned. The tactical shop that I am going through knows the entire situation. I don’t want to forget to mention that I also have a couple legal issues, but nothing that would cause a denial from the state. All cases are closed/disposed. So he and I are assuming that it is because of my past mental health history in an institution. So I am in the process of getting fingerprinted and mailing the form up to Tallahassee for them to further investigate. I could very well be approved, I could very well also be denied again and would have to challenge even further with more information that I would need to provide. In the meantime, I am pulling all of my medical records from the behavioral institution as well as letters or what I might need from My Therapist and Psychiatrist, where they deemed that I am not a danger to myself or anybody else.
So after telling you my story, my question is, has anybody ever been through a situation similar to mine? Also, I have no idea if my right to bear arms was ever revoked, they don’t exactly tell you that outright when you are going through being admitted to things like that. Someone that has had experience with a situation like mine would be really helpful. Does it sound like I would need to have my rights restored? How do I do that? How do I find out if my rights have been revoked? I’m just really trying to complete my homework and obtain all of the information I might need in case I get a second denial. However, if I do get a second denial, they will tell me exactly why I was denied. And then I have one more chance to challenge it. I have completely changed my life around and just the idea that my past issues could possibly have had the consequence of any of my rights being revoked just makes me want to do the right thing and clear my name regardless if I purchase a gun or not. I’m also going to look into getting my criminal issues expunged if that is possible for me. I do understand that in the future, I might need a lawyer to have a better chance at getting all of this resolved, but I really want to do everything that is within my power before I have to get a lawyer. Thanks for reading this and any feedback would be helpful

Hey, 23F - this week I got into a situation I never expected to be in. My gym 29M crush broke the ice with me.
From traumas, I am a very, guarded person, I always have my walls up to protect myself. I’ve never had romance, and was always rejected. As an adult I just don’t care, I’ve been walking around with tunnel vision, not expecting anyone.
Due to this people tend to say that I am either cold or mysterious to them. Deep down I’m very empathetic, bubbly, gentle and loving but my experiences in life don’t allow me to be confident.
My gym crush and I have been catching each others eyes since February. He’s someone I actually find interesting to want to know more about. I decided to try and let my fearful guard down, because I do want to peruse this so I managed to pathetically muster a smile, wave and hello to him. Planning to talk to him, I worked out close to him, and he actually started talking to me first.
We had a 5 minute long chat, he asked alot of questions about me and said he liked my shoes, he introduced himself and shook hands with me. He then let me proceed with my workout before leaving around 10 minutes later.
For everyone else, this must be a great situation, but I can’t comprehend it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s just some f-boy who is praying on my attraction to him, what do I say to him? Do I add him on social media or is it too soon? I’m trying not to overthink the conversation or look into it. But I’ve learned that for what other people see as a challenge, but can navigate through it. I really just don’t have a clue. My lack of experience with the opposite sex, and my instinctual walls to protect me mean I really don’t know what to do- I’m serious this time
If this man is genuine, I’d like to over time be able to be more vulnerable, and be able to talk to him, and open up about myself. This is the first person whom I have an interest in, who may actually like me back. How can I do this? What can I do next?

Hi there! If you are a FFXIV player in need of a home on Hyperion, we'd be thrilled to offer you one!
We are looking to grow our small gathering of like-minded players and friends so that no matter when you log in, you'll have a supportive, relaxed and lighthearted community to interact with at your own pace. We are mostly working adults with families and time limitations, so we like to keep things as light and drama free as possible for the time we do get to spend in-game.
Edge of the Light was established in 2019 and we host a good mix of new and veteran players, some of which have just started playing, while others have been around since 1.0! We generally are a more casual focused FC that run weekly events such as treasure map nights, mount farming, glamour hunting and other group focused shenanigans.
Our approach to recruitment is to see if we fit you and not the other way around! We are hoping to slightly expand our numbers so you'll always find someone to do something with should you choose to, while still retaining that smaller community atmosphere.
While we don't have any playtime or attendance requirements, we are still primarily a social focused FC and expect a reasonable effort at being a part of our community. We understand everyone has different speeds at which they hop out of their shell and energy meters to social interaction and will always do our best to accommodate these things!
Edge also currently owns foggy sunny beachfront property in Mist! Our medium sized Adventurer's Guild-esque house is located in Ward 20 Plot 4, feel free to come and hang out!
We have a dedicated Discord as well! Please take a look at our welcome page there for a listing of our rules and general guidelines. If you have any questions feel free to reach out to me in a DM here, in-game (Faeduin Tyr) or on discord @ faeduin. Discord is not required but is heavily encouraged to join Edge of the Light as we organize our events and meet ups there, we are a community first and free company second!

• https://discord.gg/jrk73mGjJd (New members will need to be assigned a role before being able to access any other channels.)

In a FC already or on another server / datacenter and just want more friends to do stuff with? Drop on by anyway and become an Edgy Friend!

Good morning! We've still got a few spots left for the Learn to Row May session that starts today! Even though it'll be raining, we'll be in the boathouse today anyway working on form, touring the facility, terminology and safety, so don't be put off by the weather.
The Augusta Rowing Club will be hosting some Learn to Row classes in May and September. If you've ever thought about trying the sport out, this is a great opportunity!
Our Learn to Row (LTR) Program is designed primarily for working adults and area college students (age 18 and up) who are interested in rowing and would like hands on experience. We will accept middle and high school aged people who are interested in joining the junior program as well, and are working on a summer camp geared primarily for teens.
Each session is arranged into six classes which are neither competitive, nor overly physical. They are simply an introduction to the sport for people who have never rowed. You do not need to have an athletic background to participate in these classes.
At the end of the class, students may join the club and begin rowing as a regular member with access to our weight room and rowing equipment and your Learn to Row dues will be applied toward the membership dues.
You will not need to purchase your own equipment to participate in the LTR class. You may mail in membership materials, or bring them with you the first day of class.
For signups and more info, see https://www.augustarowingclub.org/learn-to-row
Session 2 - $185 Per Person
May 14th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
May 16th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
May 18th, 2024 8:00 a.m.
May 21st, 2024 6:00 p.m.
May 23rd, 2024 6:00 p.m.
May 25th, 2024 8:00 a.m.
Session 3 - $185 Per Person
September 10th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
September 12th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
September 14th, 2024 8:00 a.m.
September 17th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
September 19th, 2024 6:00 p.m.
September 21st, 2024 8:00 a.m.
I'm happy to answer any questions in the comments and hope to see some of you on the water soon!

I'm a male, 30 years old, and I have a cousin who is in her late teens. She posted a meme in her socials that read "What do you call a guy who is shorter than 6ft?... Friend". If it's not clear from just the text, the insinuation is that they will only date guys who are taller than 6ft.
I commented under it "Hey, that's what we call girls with a three digit weight". Later, her mother (my aunt) called me and yelled me out for body shaming and being so insensitive since my cousin is self-conscious about her weight (she is a bit on the hefty side). I said that I, a guy who is shorter than 6ft, is pretty self-conscious about my height too so IMO she had it coming. My aunt said that it's not the same thing, the meme is a harmless joke while I was being an a-hole, that I'm an adult while my cousin is just a teen (she's 19) and that I should know better. I responded that at least she can do something about her issue while that's not possible for me. The conversation kinda ended there, abruptly, and that's where we are now.
So I guess the question here isn't AITA but rather: was I more of an asshole than my cousin was?
EDIT: Apparently I have to clarify that my response was a joke paraphrasing the original meme in order to illustrate how insulting and hurtful the meme was and not an actual opinion of mine.

DAY: MAY 13, 2024

• 5-13-2024BIKING REVEALED TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH LESS KNEE PAIN LATER IN LIFE A study reveals that people who participated in regular bicycling over their lifetime had a lower prevalence of frequent knee pain, radiographic osteoarthritis (ROA) and symptomatic radiographic osteoarthritis (SOA). Rheumatologists often encourage regular physical activity for the prevention of osteoarthritis, the most common form of arthritis. However, some exercises are more effective than others.
• 5-13-2024STRESSFUL LIFE EVENTS CAN INCREASE YOUR RISK OF ALZHEIMER’S Stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one or divorce, put a person at greater risk of developing dementia in later life, a recent study has found. But only if the stressful event happened in childhood or midlife. The study included 1,290 people at increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers looked at 18 stressful life events and when in people’s lives they happened.
• 5-13-2024TIPS FOR LOWERING STROKE RISK May is National Stroke Awareness Month, and as part of everyday awareness, Mayo Clinic health care professionals suggest reducing stroke risk and knowing the signs. A stroke happens every 40 seconds in the U.S., and the likelihood of stroke increases with age, according to the National Institutes of Health. Preventing a stroke is a crucial aspect of health care, as about 80% of all strokes are preventable. The focus is on managing risk factors to reduce the long-term risk of stroke.
• 5-13-2024IT’S TIME TO USE TIKTOK TO TALK TO YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT OBESITY, SAYS RESEARCHER There is an urgent need to harness the potential of TikTok and other social media channels to provide scientific information about obesity to young people in engaging and accessible way . The popularity and broad reach of such platforms provides the opportunity to reach diverse audiences, including teenagers and young adults, explains lead researcher Dr. Antonella Franceschelli, of Unicamillus International Medical University, Rome, Italy.
• 5-13-2024WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE NUTRITION ADVICE FROM A CENTENARIAN It’s a cliche of reporting on people who reach 100 years of age, or even 110, to ask them some variation of the question: “What did you do to live this long?” Inevitably, some interesting and unexpected answer is highlighted. Fish and chips every Friday. Drinking a glass of strong liquor every day. Bacon for breakfast every morning. Wine and chocolate. While a popular news story, this is a relatively meaningless question that doesn’t help us understand why certain people have lived so long.
• 5-13-2024JUNK FOOD MARKETING ON VIDEOGAME LIVESTREAMING PLATFORMS INCREASES PURCHASES AND CONSUMPTION AMONG TEENS, STUDY FINDS Food and drink advertisements on videogame livestreaming platforms (VGLSPs) like Twitch are associated with more positive attitudes towards, and purchases and intake of, unhealthy foods that are high in fat, salt and/or sugar (HFSS) like energy drinks among adolescents aged 18 or younger. The concerning findings prompt researchers to call for stronger regulations on digital marketing of unhealthy foods to young people on these platforms, where there is currently no effective regulation
• 5-13-2024HIGHER BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL AT GESTATIONAL DIABETES DIAGNOSIS LINKED TO HARMFUL OUTCOMES FOR MOTHERS AND BABIES The higher the blood sugar level in pregnant women when first diagnosed with diabetes, the higher the risk of complications around and after birth
• 5-13-2024ASKING ADULTS WITH OBESITY ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT DURING CHILDHOOD COULD HELP DETERMINE THEIR MORTALITY RISK Being asked whether you considered yourself a normal weight, plumper or thinner as a child when attending a doctor’s appointment as an adult might appear like a very strange question to ask, but new research suggests that such questions can help identify increased mortality risk in adults living with obesity.
• 5-13-2024ENERGY DRINKS CAN LEAD TO SERIOUS HEART ISSUES IN KIDS AND TEENS, HEALTH EXPERTS SAY Hennessy Sepulveda thought she was going to die. “I began dissociating as I was driving. I was 10 minutes away from my house. My vision started warping and the lights were hitting me really bright,” she said. “I felt my chest pounding, I felt a wave of panic hit me—I knew something was wrong.” Sepulveda, a Florida International University student who was 19 at the time, was admitted to the hospital, and was surprised by the cause of her symptoms
• 5-13-2024A BLOOD TEST TO HELP DETECT LUNG CANCER? NEW TEST OFFERED AT 18 LOCATIONS Julie Harris had never been tested for lung cancer. A low-dose CT scan, the only recommended screening for adults at risk of developing lung cancer, was not something she’d ever found time to do. But when her primary care doctor recently suggested a new blood test to help look for signs of the disease, Harris was intrigued. She had her blood drawn the same day, in the same building as her doctor’s appointment.
• 5-13-2024STUDY SHOWS EXERCISING SLOWS OUR PERCEPTION OF TIME results of a new study show for the first time that individuals tend to experience time as moving slower when they are exercising compared to when they are resting or after completing their exercise.
• 5-13-2024BREAKTHROUGH THERAPIES ARE SAVING LIVES, BUT CAN WE AFFORD THEM? Harnessing the body’s own cells to fight disease, long a medical dream, is finally a reality. Now comes the bill. Last month, Stanford became the first hospital in the nation to use a new $515,000 cell therapy to treat a patient with advanced melanoma. A related approach, costing $420,000 to $475,000, is offering hope to patients with lethal blood cancers. Meanwhile, cells fixed by gene therapy can slow, even stop, the progression of intractable diseases like sickle cell or beta thalassemia—
• 5-13-2024RESEARCH FINDS DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME SPELLS BAD NEWS FOR HEALTHY HABITS
• 5-13-2024HOW READING HELPS YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF PAIN
• 5-13-2024HEART FAILURE PATIENTS WHO DO YOGA HAVE STRONGER HEARTS AND CAN BE MORE ACTIVE, RESEARCH SUGGESTS
• 5-13-2024ITALIAN STUDY FINDS EVIDENCE OF BODY DYSMORPHIA IN PROFILE PICTURES OF PEOPLE LIVING WITH OBESITY
• 5-13-2024UNDERSTANDING AND PREVENTING BLADDER CANCER
• 5-13-2024OUR BRAINS TRICK US INTO THINKING CONSCIOUSNESS CAN RESIDE OUTSIDE THE BODY, RESEARCH ARGUES
• 5-13-2024YOGA SHOWS ‘MOST IMPROVEMENT’ IN RESTORING BRAIN HEALTH IN LONG-TERM CANCER SURVIVORS, RESEARCHER SAYS
• 5-13-2024DISTURBING NEW TRENDS ARE DRIVING UP THE NUMBERS
• 5-13-2024SUPPORTING WEIGHT-LOSS MEDICATIONS WITH ADEQUATE, TAILORED NUTRITION
• 5-13-2024WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE A SLEEPWALKER’S BRAIN?
• 5-13-2024COMING OFF OZEMPIC SLOWLY COULD PREVENT WEIGHT GAIN, STUDY SHOWS
• 5-13-2024STUDY SHOWS ALARMING RISE OF ELECTRONIC VAPING USE IN US ADOLESCENTS
• 5-13-2024UK SURVEY FINDS ‘DISGUST FACTOR’ NEEDS TO BE OVERCOME IF EATING INSECTS IS TO BECOME TRULY MAINSTREAM
• 5-13-2024SEMAGLUTIDE CAN YIELD WEIGHT LOSS, LOWER HEART ISSUES FOR AT LEAST FOUR YEARS IN NON-DIABETIC ADULTS WITH OVERWEIGHT
• 5-13-2024BETTER NUTRITION CAN HELP FIREFIGHTERS FIGHT CANCER
• 5-13-2024EXPLORING THE BIOLOGICAL BASIS FOR RESILIENCE
• 5-13-2024REMOTE HEART FAILURE MONITORING DEVICE COULD PREVENT HOSPITALIZATIONS
• 5-13-2024IDENTICAL ODORS SEEM DIFFERENT WHEN GIVEN DIFFERENT NAMES
• 5-13-2024HOW CANNABIS AND PSILOCYBIN MIGHT HELP SOME OF THE 50 MILLION AMERICANS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING CHRONIC PAIN
• 5-13-2024AUTISTIC CHILDREN COULD BE THE REAL WINNERS FROM ONLINE GAMES
• 5-13-2024TEENAGE USERS OF HIGH-THC CANNABIS VARIETIES TWICE AS LIKELY TO EXPERIENCE PSYCHOTIC EPISODES
• 5-13-2024PEPTIDE-BASED HYDROGEL SHOWS PROMISE FOR A WIDE RANGE OF TISSUE AND ORGAN REPAIR
• 5-13-2024TO AVENGE OR NOT TO AVENGE? PSYCHOLOGISTS DIG DEEPER INTO HOW PEOPLE SEE REVENGE AND THOSE WHO DO IT
• 5-13-2024TRANSGENDER PRETEENS REPORT 13 HOURS OF DAILY SCREEN TIME
• 5-13-2024STUDY FINDINGS DEMONSTRATE BENEFIT TO PEDIATRIC CELIAC DISEASE MASS SCREENING
• 5-13-2024COMMONLY USED ANTIBIOTIC BRINGS MORE COMPLICATIONS, DEATH IN THE SICKEST PATIENTS
• 5-13-2024NEW PAPER EXAMINES POTENTIAL POWER AND PITFALLS OF HARNESSING ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE FOR SLEEP MEDICINE
• 5-13-2024VARIATIONS IN TELOMERE LENGTHENING GENES MAY PREDISPOSE SOME PEOPLE TO PAPILLARY THYROID CANCER
• 5-13-2024WHAT IS THE PROCESS OF AN ATHLETE BEING ‘MEDICALLY RETIRED’ DUE TO CONCUSSION?
• 5-13-2024NOT SURE ABOUT VACCINES? HOW MESSAGING IS FRAMED MAKES A DIFFERENCE, NEW RESEARCH SHOWS
• 5-13-2024NEW STUDY REVEALS THE KEY ROLE OF MITOCHONDRIAL PROTEINS IN CARDIAC REGENERATION
• 5-13-2024NEW SYNTHETIC BIOMARKER TECHNOLOGY DIFFERENTIATES BETWEEN PRIOR ZIKA AND DENGUE INFECTIONS
• 5-13-2024IN SEARCH OF THE BEST TEST FOR HEPATIC ENCEPHALOPATHY
• 5-13-2024ORGANIZATIONS PUBLISH JOINT GUIDELINE ON GLUCOCORTICOID-INDUCED ADRENAL INSUFFICIENCY
• 5-13-2024CLINICAL TRIAL INVESTIGATING AFICAMTEN MEETS PRIMARY ENDPOINT IN OBSTRUCTIVE HYPERTROPHIC CARDIOMYOPATHY
• 5-13-2024RESEARCH INVESTIGATES LIMITED EFFICACY OF COMMON LOCAL ANESTHETIC
• 5-13-2024HOW SCIENCE CLEARED THE AIR OVER INHALED HEALTH RISKS
• 5-13-2024WHAT’S KEEPING THE US FROM ALLOWING BETTER SUNSCREENS?
• 5-13-2024PATIENTS CAN NOW STAY CONNECTED BY WEARING ONE
• 5-13-2024THERAPEUTIC OPPORTUNITIES FOR HYPERMUTATED UROTHELIAL CARCINOMAS BEYOND IMMUNOTHERAPY
• 5-13-2024RESEARCHERS REVEAL THE DOUBLE-EDGED-SWORD EFFECT OF OVERCONFIDENCE ON GAMBLING
• 5-13-2024TEAM STUDIES FACTORS RELATED TO A SENSE OF ECONOMIC INSECURITY IN OLDER ADULTS
• 5-13-2024PEDIATRICIAN OFFERS TIPS ON HOW TO SUPPORT HEALTHY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT IN YOUR CHILD
• 5-13-2024NEW DEVICE COULD IDENTIFY WHICH BABIES WILL STRUGGLE WITH BREASTFEEDING
• 5-13-2024COULD FLIRT LEAD TO A SUMMER UPTICK?
• 5-13-2024RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS DRAMATIC INCREASE IN FENTANYL SEIZED BY AUTHORITIES IN LAST SIX YEARS
• 5-13-2024CHILD MEASLES CASE AT SACRAMENTO HOSPITAL MAY HAVE EXPOSED 200 PEOPLE, HEALTH OFFICIALS SAY
• 5-13-2024AN AUXILIARY CHD DIAGNOSTIC SYSTEM BASED ON MULTI-VIEW AND MULTI-MODAL TRANSTHORACIC ECHOCARDIOGRAMS
• 5-13-2024PROJECTED ESTIMATES OF CANCER IN CANADA IN 2024: STUDY
• 5-13-2024REPORT FINDS PRIVATE HEALTH PLANS PAID HOSPITALS 254% OF WHAT MEDICARE WOULD PAY DURING 2022
• 5-13-2024HOW OBESITY AND METABOLIC SYNDROME AFFECTS WOMEN’S RISKS OF BREAST CANCER AND CANCER-RELATED DEATH
• 5-13-2024CANCER AND COVID DROVE PATIENT TO DOUBLE-LUNG TRANSPLANT
• 5-13-2024CHOLERA OUTBREAK INTENSIFYING IN YEMEN, UN WARNS
• 5-13-2024RESEARCH TAKES ELECTRORETINOGRAPHY TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH A SOFT MULTI-ELECTRODE SYSTEM
• 5-13-2024NEW STUDY SHOWS CERTAIN COMBINATIONS OF ANTIVIRAL PROTEINS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR LUPUS SYMPTOMS
• 5-13-2024DID A WORM REALLY EAT PART OF ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR.’S BRAIN?
• 5-13-2024REINING IN ROGUE OBAMACARE AGENTS WITHOUT SLOWING ENROLLMENT
• 5-13-2024IS ‘HERD IMMUNITY’ IN INTENSIVE CARE DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD?
• 5-13-2024TOO MANY AUSTRALIANS AREN’T GETTING A FLU VACCINE—WHY, AND WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
• 5-13-2024RESEARCHERS FIND 13% REDUCTION IN ASTHMA IN CHILDREN BORN IN AN URBAN LOW EMISSION ZONE
• 5-13-2024RESEARCHERS USE DUAL DRUG STRATEGY TO ADVANCE MELANOMA TREATMENT AGAINST RESISTANCE
• 5-13-2024ENGINEERING MINI HUMAN HEARTS TO STUDY PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS AND BIRTH DEFECTS
• 5-13-2024FOR TREATING RETINOPATHY OF PREMATURITY, RESEARCH PROVES THAT RANIBIZUMAB IS SAFE
• 5-13-2024STUDY FINDS SENSE OF SHARED SIMULTANEITY INCREASES WITH GROUP SIZE
• 5-13-2024WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
• 5-13-2024ATTACKING BIRTH CONTROL PILLS, US INFLUENCERS PUSH MISINFORMATION
• 5-13-2024UN NEARS LANDMARK DEAL ON COMBATING BIOPIRACY
• 5-13-2024VARIATIONS IN ‘ANCIENT’ IMMUNE CELLS LINKED TO PATIENTS’ SURVIVAL IN CANCER
• 5-13-2024SOURCE OF SUGAR MAY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN AMOUNT WHEN IT COMES TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF OBESITY IN CHILDREN
• 5-13-2024UK STUDY INVOLVING OVER 80,000 ADULTS FINDS SMOKERS TEND TO EAT LESS AND HAVE A LESS HEALTHY DIET THAN NON-SMOKERS
• 5-13-2024TRIAL REVEALS ANTI-INFLAMMATORY POWER OF AEROBIC EXERCISE IN ADULTS WITH OBESITY
• 5-13-2024LARGE-SCALE FINNISH STUDY DISCOVERS LINK BETWEEN PREMATURE MENOPAUSE AND MORTALITY RISK
• 5-13-2024SOCIODEMOGRAPHICS TIED TO REHAB USE DURING CRITICAL ILLNESS HOSPITALIZATION
• 5-13-2024AVOID OVERHEATING DANGERS WHEN RECHARGING MEDICAL DEVICES
• 5-13-2024LOWER PREVALENCE OF EMPLOYMENT SEEN FOR SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD CANCER
• 5-13-2024BLOOD PRESSURE DOWN WITH SELF-MONITORING, SELF-TITRATION OF MEDICATIONS
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• 5-13-2024INTENSE ULTRASOUND EXTRACTS GENETIC INFO FOR LESS INVASIVE CANCER BIOPSIES
• 5-13-2024WEIGHT LOSS DRUG LINKED WITH REDUCED NEED FOR DIURETICS IN HEART FAILURE PATIENTS
• 5-13-2024EVIDENCE OF A TRAVEL DIRECTION SIGNAL THAT IS INDEPENDENT FROM HEAD DIRECTION IN HUMANS
• 5-13-2024STUDY SHOWS CHATGPT CAN ACCURATELY ANALYZE MEDICAL CHARTS FOR CLINICAL RESEARCH, OTHER APPLICATIONS
• 5-13-2024WHAT MAKES A MEMORY? IT MAY BE RELATED TO HOW HARD YOUR BRAIN HAD TO WORK
• 5-13-2024BIRTH BY C-SECTION MORE THAN DOUBLES ODDS OF MEASLES VACCINE FAILURE, STUDY FINDS
• 5-13-2024SCIENTISTS FIND SLEEP MAY NOT CLEAR BRAIN TOXINS

My sister-in-law is a hopeless drug addict, and has abandoned our 2 year old nephew twice. She had done the same thing and lost custody with her oldest child. She's not getting better.
This child's father was pretty similar, but he ended up ODing, and is no longer with us. So, my wife and I stepped in for our nephew. I have a few questions about what to do:
1) We filed for custody, and the judge granted it to us. My sister-in-law is completely MIA. We don't have my nephew's vital docs, medical records, heck we don't even know his middle name or if the birthday we know of is correct.
The court didn't give us any of this, and refused when we asked for it. My nephew's pediatrician isn't ponying up either. Is there a good way to get this info? We can't even put him in daycare right now, and my wife and I both work full time. We need his vaccination records, etc. I'm WFH, but it's a strain to balance his needs with my meetings etc.
2) Since my nephew's father's death, he is allotted some pittance of social security. I feel bad making this about money, but my wife and I did not anticipate having to raise another young child like this. Any little bit helps, especially since we're going to be paying for daycare.
Currently this stipend goes to my nephew's mother. She's using this for drugs. She's couch serfing from place to place as far as we can tell - so I very much doubt she's paying rent.
My sister-in-law has not been raising her son for over a year now. It's fraud. My wife and I want the payments coming to us, and ideally for them to be backdated. Neither of us care about what legal trouble this may or may not put sis in law in. I know this sounds harsh, but she is not a good person.

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Camp Half-Blood Official Camper Entry Report #JDB7YC
First report is based on initial interviews with Camp Half-Blood staff. NOT FOR CAMPER VIEWING.

Name	Age	D.O.B	Height	Weight	Hair	Eyes	Parentage
Isaac Sheppard	16	August 16th	5'10"	109kg	Chestnut	Hazel-Green	Heracles

Origin
Camper Isaac Sheppard, preferably referred to as 'Shepard' simply has detailed his younger years of upbringing as more typical of what we consider mortal activities. Unaware of his lineage, he was raised by his mother, Jennifer Sheppard, in the boroughs of Hartfort, Conneticut without recorded incident. Shepard hinted towards his mother knowing more but quickly halted further questioning, insisting that she wouldn't have hidden facts from him. Shepard dictated mortal schooling had no outstanding events save his performance in physical sports. Regular disciplining regarding a laxidase attitude at any sports, despite exemplary performance in nearly every field. Shepard stated the only one he liked the sound of was archery but the school's facilities did not support this outside of occasional yearly excursions to more advanced facilities.
Satyr Protector Member 38821 was tasked with investigating a phoned-in anonymous report submitted to Camp Half-Blood of a teenager presenting with physical strength exceeding that of even typical demigods. Whilst this tip-off left no further detailing beyond the city of Hartford and to look for excessive physical capabilities, the suspected caller is believed to be Jennifer Sheppard. Protector 38821 was able to determine Isaac's school and infiltrate his class in order to breach the topic of introducing him to the reality of being a son of the god Heracles. Days later, Hartford Police Department reported arson at the home address of Isaac and Jennifer Sheppard. Isaac presented statements of 'scaled individuals' fleeing the scene but mortal services dismissed these as distressed claims of a teenager in shock of losing his mother. Protector 38821 was able to retrieve Shepard from intervening social services and was in the process of transporting them both to camp via train when they both came into contact with individuals described by Shepard as 'guys but with these glowing eyes and armoured...or metal?'. For reporting's sake, contact is assumed to be hostile automata of origin unknown.
Protector 38821 and Shepard were able to reach Long Island whilst under extended assault from these automata, roughly 7 hours later according to statements from Shepard though accuracy of these estimates is lowered due to stress and high fatigue from protecting both himself and Protector 38821. Shepard openly admits that without the help of campers from Camp Half-Blood, he would not have survived the final stint to camp boundaries and his fate would have matched that of Protector 38821.
Powers:

• Legendary Strength AKA 'Unstoppable Force' [Minor]

Isaac displays one of the highest levels of strength and stamina known of half-bloods. He has been recorded being able to lift up to 600 lbs. (or 272.16 kg) and can punch through concrete. Thankfully Isaac is aware of this and seems to have been informed of this by his mother for a significant portion of his life and can control this, despite not knowing of his bloodline.

• Electrical Resistance [Minor]

First displayed during Shepard's extraction to camp, he shows a resistance to the harmful effects of electrical attacks such to a degree that he is able to withstand badly interacting with small appliances.

• X [Minor]

Shepared has yet to display any further abilities. We do not yet know if this is an intentional action of obscuring them or whether Shepard simpy does not have any more abilities.

• Herculean Fortitude AKA 'Immovable Object' [Major]

Isaac possesses a complete immunity to mental and emotional power. This includes reading his mental or emotional state. Those who attempt to influence or read his mental state report the sensation of attempting to read a blank slate, an immutable, unreadable presence some have found disconcerting. His presence/location can still be detected by these powers if a user were to attempt to locate him via these abilities. As a side-effect of these powers, he cannot be positively influenced or 'buffed' by other powers, excluding healing magic.

• Summon Weapon [Domain]

Shepard is capable of summoning a weapon related to his godly parent, though his personal experiences have shaped the typical club that his siblings are capable of spawning into something a bit...scrappier. Whilst not as lethal as a Celestial Bronze weapon, the makeshift maul is entirely capable of lethal strikes when fuelled by Shepard's enhanced strength.

• Alternate Vision [Domain]

Beginner Tier - Shepard describes this as an overlaid indicator in the form of a customisable crosshair over his own field of view that will show Shepard where an arrow will land if it is loosed at his current draw and aim. By drawing the string further and aim differently, so too will the indicator adjust. Shepard has determined quickly that this does not work with melee or thrown items.
Intermediate level - Shepard partially draws strength from his grandfather’s domain here, completely unable to control the winds beyond the air in his lungs but he can observe them. When the HUD is up, he can determine wind-speed and direction, as well as how that will impact his shot with the aiming indicator being able to now compensate for wind.
Master tier - As Shepard masters this power over time, judging distance, aim, and after regular usage, he is able to use the HUD as a range finder to within a metre's precision.

• Enhanced Skill Proficiency [Domain]

Isaac shows a increased proficiency in physical activities when he wishes to put the effort in in, particularly those that Heracles was renowned for such as wrestling, fighting, archery, and overall shows of strength.

Personality
Shepard's time at camp is only just beginning, with a greater report on his tendencies and personality still pending until he has shown his hand and can be interacted with. First impressions are guarded, the boy still getting to grips with this introduction of a new reality. Perhaps we may be able to discern more once he has completed what we believe to be a more introspective assessment, determining who he is in Camp Half-Blood and how demigods fit into what is to him, a new world.
Notes

• No discernible reason behind the dismissal of his first name, 'Shepard' simply being a misspelling of his last name that he has stuck with.
  
• Shepard appears to enjoy what he calls 'tinkering', idle adjustment and construction of functionless trinkets or pieces from mechanical parts. Notions of some kind of link to Hephaestus have been dismissed but camp officials may wish to nudge him towards campers with a proclivity of crafting to engage in Shepard's curiosity or ease any initial worries about joining camp
  
• Be on watch for any conflicts regarding possessions, as Shepard's rushed retrieval has meant he has arrived at camp with only the clothes on his back. Initial talks with him have shown he is very protective of his 'home clothes'. Whilst he has taken to camp clothing without incident, Shepard may be harbouring thoughts of loss beyond just his mother.
  

End report. Begin report JDB36T on camper activities.

But the full tale of Shepard is a story we'll hear later. For now, we cut to the boy himself...
Shepard stood out in the open, placing himself accidentally at the centre of camp with his back to the Big House. His two saviours had to depart to carry on with their own business and so the clueless teen turned slowly to attempt to take in the enormity of where he stood, and what that meant for his tomorrow. Hopefully someone noticed the kid not in camp clothes, scratching his head and epitomising the term 'paralysed in indecision', and could offer kind words. Or even better, directions to the bathroom?

Back when I was a teenager the recession happened and in my adult life I suppose that influenced my thinking, also the austerity measures after it all; we all know how it was bad for many people.
Anyway my question is, do you view capitalism as good? I remember learning quite a bit about its effects on Ireland back in the 19th century at school which didn't seem that great to me, or do you think the centrists know what they are doing and that we should continue to support them? They have been fairly good at dealing with homelessness over the last decade for example, their compassion knows no bounds.
Personally I really think socialism suits Ireland, after centuries of authoritarian rule would it not be good for the Irish people to actually have a say in how our nation is run? Representative democracy under the current regime does not count as the average person having a say in matters, well in the context of this post at least.
So, do you see socialism as an antidote to capitalism and bad leadership or do you think things are fine the way they are? I'm obviously oversimplying things here, having a different viewpoint is fine.

"Order!
The time for debate on this motion has expired. The question is that the Motion be agreed to.
Motion Details

1. Recognizes the serious concern regarding the inappropriate use of chemical restraint in aged care facilities across Australia, which has resulted in significant harm and violates the rights and dignity of elderly residents.
   
2. Acknowledges the findings of recent reports, investigations, and inquiries highlighting the widespread and often unnecessary use of psychotropic medications as a form of chemical restraint in aged care settings.
   
3. Expresses its commitment to ensuring the safety, well-being, and rights of older Australians living in aged care facilities, including their right to autonomy, dignity, and freedom from unnecessary restraint.
   
4. Calls upon the Australian Government to take urgent and comprehensive action to address the issue of chemical restraint in aged care, including but not limited to:
   a. Implementing stronger regulatory frameworks and oversight mechanisms to prevent the inappropriate use of psychotropic medications.
   b. Providing adequate training and support for aged care staff in alternative methods of care and behavior management that do not rely on chemical restraint.
   c. Increasing funding and resources for mental health services within aged care facilities to address the underlying causes of behavioral symptoms.
   d. Strengthening accountability measures and enforcement mechanisms to ensure compliance with regulations and standards relating to the use of chemical restraint.
   e. Supporting research and innovation in dementia care and geriatric medicine to develop alternative approaches to managing challenging behaviors in older adults.
   
5. Calls for bipartisan cooperation and collaboration among all political parties, aged care providers, healthcare professionals, advocacy groups, and other stakeholders to work together towards eliminating the inappropriate use of chemical restraint and improving the quality of care for older Australians in aged care facilities.
   

Bill/Motion History
Motion Debate

Division Required

The Chamber shall now divide. Members are to vote only Aye, No or Abstain.
Voting shall end at 5PM AEST (UTC +10) 17/05/2024. View in your timezone here"

Kayara was sick with hunger by the time they made it home to the palace and Craephen. She clutched her stomach and tried her best not to throw up on the steps as they were ushered upstairs to the king's offices. Geri kept glancing warily at her, staying as far away from her as possible.
A massive flat leaf plant just outside of the office doors, it was watered by the fish tank underfoot but there was a few meters of open tank and the glass ended just at the knee. Then a massive flat leaf plant took over and formed a sort of wall. Kayara puked up berries and sickeningly sweet apple and rat meat. The fish in the tank went crazy for her last three meals. She had refused to shit on the trek back. Refused. She still very much needed the bathroom.
She also refused to look anyone in the eye as some of her vomit went floating under the glass, right before them. As the fish splashed vomit and water, onto the beautifully painted tiles. She was forced to just pull out her handkerchief, wipe her face, her hands, and silently apologize to the janitor who would have to clean that up on her behalf. She rejoined the others and not one of them said a word. The two soldiers flanked the two ladies. Trashed and worn to bits. She was so grateful that this appeared to be the norm for this princess.
The carved, fern shaped, wooden doors opened with only the anxiety-inducing elegance that a king's office doors could. A looming terror in its own right— just as the king was. He sat behind his massive dark wood desk. Leafy eyes taking in every hazardous detail of the young adults being ushered into his work space.
Food had been prepared and set up on the table in the next room and the king gestured to it. To go sit down and eat; a good man and fair king he was.
Anataya was the first to take a seat, the others followed. Bread, potatoes and pulled chicken. A simple meal, whoever had been so smart to give them such food- she silently thanked them. She did not have it in her to throw up again. Nobody said a word, although Geri and Anataya seemed to be speaking telepathically. She wondered if that could hypothetically be a real talent amongst faeries. With the right cross breeding and such?
Geri stuck his tongue out at the princess and revealed a black diamond to be embedded in it. Fucking hells! Anataya grinned and motioned with her finger across her throat. Then she looked away from him to scan the table, and saw Kayara watching them with open questioning in her eyes. The flirting stopped for a dinner break at that.
Kayara noted that the two soldiers had eaten only their bread. Picked it apart and played with it really. For fucks sake.
The maids had come and cleared their dishes, leaving an empty table and dirty Elves; and a king staring at all of them from the head of the table.
“Lord Castings, thank you for returning my escape artist daughter and her holligan half siblings. As well as the lady Kayara.” The king finally said at last. “You are dismissed, a room is already available for you as you know, but I assume you wish to return to your man's estate.”
“Indeed Majesty, you are ever generous.” The lord bowed and exited immediately. The King then looked to kayara. “You likely have no desire to stay here, I grant the kindness of leaving with honor to you and your family. Take it if you wish.”
“You are indeed very kind Majesty, however, a little dirt and exercise will not deter me in aiding the heir to the throne I am loyal to.” It was her younger siblings who had taught her the act of sucking up.
She had laid it on too thick though and he now looked at her the way she was certain he looked at every other ladder climbing court member he had to deal with. She would prove her worth though, she willed it to be so. She willed herself to smile delicately the way her mother did, speak fluidly and clearly the way her father did. Keep a keen eye and watch for the hidden details like her Nanny had, once upon a childhood. She hated relying on old tactics but she hadn’t exactly had time to find her own social tools at court. She had been too busy riding fairy ponies in the woods… oh her siblings would have a field day if they knew she had slept on dirt. Her brothers especially. They would be more horrified by it than her sisters, who gardened, would be.
“Anyways, I thank you for keeping this adventure to yourself and not encouraging this moving forward, you too are dismissed.” He must have been in his late thirties or early forties, which was quite young indeed amongst Faeries. A young king who appeared to have lived for a millenia. He had dark bags under his eyes and bushy brown eyebrows. His voice sounded as tired as he looked. She studied him as she curtsied her acknowledgment and turned to leave. The door opened for her and she stopped just outside, turned to take in the details but the doors shut gently, pointedly, in her face.

Long story not so short is basically went off from work back in October for a physical ailment ( polyps, protrusions etc) , a genetic obsessive compulsive disorder I'm trying to improve / take care of and general anxiety/social disorder. It's been hell trying to get in for surgery , paying for therapy @ $250 a session that's supposed to be weekly / biweekly and affording to live in general when I'm only being paid around 1700-1800 a month a - rent is easily almost half that. So getting into the issue, recently the LTD insurance company instead of continuing to focus on my ailment and mental health progression, is suddenly requesting I now also focus on stopping cannabis consumption all due to the fact I have mentioned to them a few times through phone interviews that its been my method of coping / useage has increased due to all these issues still being prevalent ( daily in pain in my lower regions 😅) they requested I start treating my consumption so I went to a raam clinic and got setup with resources to lower my usage, I found out last week that the LTD actually wanted me to go Into residential rehabilitation not raam to treat my useage , which is completely unnecessary / would be detrimental due to my mental heath / physical situation. So far my raam clinic dr has written a letter stating the residential treatment is not suitable for me , I'm seeing my Family Dr later today to get their support and backing on not needing the residential treatment / to remind LTD that the focus should be my ailment and mental health , because at the end of the day I've been working and consuming my whole adult life and it wasn't a prevention from working . So my question is does anyone know if the insurance company can really force this decision of treatment no matter what?, or if having my drs documentation + raam clinic documentation + psychologist could overturn them and rule out the cannabis factor? So far I've heard two sides being either they can loophole and still say cannabis = more ocd and general anxiety problems and the others saying if they disregard the documentation stating it's not a reason why he can't work, that I should seek legal counsel.

I don't really no where to start. I feel I've lost myself, consumed with anxiety and guilt and fear and regret and I fear, this new fear, that it's going to be the end of me if I don't start to get it out in some way, shape or form.
I guess I'll begin at the beginning...
​
I had a difficult childhood with fairly neglectful parents. A mother who openly expressed she never felt she really stepped into her mom shoes until she gave birth to my younger sister, who is three years younger than me. She is my only sibling. My mother told me when I was a kid that she "had to love me", but when my sister came around "she was finally a mother and over the moon", or simply "I always always wanted a girl". I'm not sure if this could be attributed to Post-partum depression, not that she ever researched that or was daignosed with it. That's probably just me trying to pardon my mother or something to the effect. She was 17 when she had me and I'm sure times were different then, my parents both were raised religious, father christian, mother mormon. Maybe their guilt. I ask myself why they brought me into this world if I wasn't wanted to begin with. Or, give me up for adoption to a set of guardians that would have loved me better. I know I was an accident and that's not what gets me down, I get that life be lifing and what happened happened. My difficulties stem from the feeling that my presence never gave my mother any sense of purpose, responsibility or love, or concern. She was emotionally unavailable to me virtually my entire life and I feel like that caused many issues later in my life and how I perceive myself and what I deserve. Coupled with the fact that my neglect met such extremes that I am frankly shocked that I was never picked up by child care services, maybe things were different in the 90's. I'm not sure, I was just a child then.
Much of my upbringing I didn't receive a lot of the things most people would consider essential. As a baby my crib was the sock drawer, then I grew large enough to have a closet, then slept on the floor of a walk-in closet, then I had a single bed from what I recall for maybe a year or maybe two years and I remember feeling metal springs poke me in the my ribs and I recall it being uncomfortable enough for me to move back to sleeping on the floor next to the ratty old used mattress my father found from who knows where. I remember feeling like I had to keep that secret, that the mattress they gave me was uncomfortable enough for me to sneak sleeping on the floor next to it. I think I was really afraid as coming across as ungrateful. My father came from a third world country, so the "gratefullness issue" was address frequently by my mom because "I don't have it even half as bad as what my father had to endure. And she was probably right. But it just silenced me ultimately, didn't put things into a mature context for me. I just learned that I can't complain about anything ever. Anyway, that trend didn't really change when I grew older. grade 9-10 I was sleeping on the living room couch so my sister could have privacy and a bedroom to exist in for herself - which I realize is important for an individual so I encouraged her to have the bedroom. Although I figured my parents expected me to do this for my sister regardless. I was okay with making sacrfices for those I love, it was instilled in me from a very very young age.
I do feel like my father took advantage of me in the form of labour as well, having to do custodial work with my father from 10pm to 3am, at two highschools I believe he was contracted, at that young age I honestly enjoyed just spending time with my father I think, working alongside him. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I had garbage bag duty for all the students bathrooms, and I remember loving snapping the bags open by rushing air into the bag and making it blow up like a baloon. I remember the scary unlit shadowy hallways that I couldn't perceive the ends of. No bodies to see, it felt eerie but exciting in a way - like it was a whole different world.
School was a different experience for me. It was very stressful, my parents had to move a few times a year because they would dodge rent or just generally be selfish with their dual income. They loved to party hard on the weekends. I remember wondering why my father did this to himself all the time. Hoping that we could spend quality time on a saturday, but he wouldnt get out of bed until just before dinner. I didn't really understand hangovers or alcoholism and how it meant our plans would get cancelled. I think I remember trying to wrap my head around willful self-poisoning for entertainment and how could that be more enjoyable then spending time with your son? I couldn't tell my mother why I was so sad about it. Why I didn't want to move again and again and again. Why I found it so difficult to make new friends everytime I had to switch schools. Why I couldn't just do one single full school year with one class of students. It was so hard and at the time, I didn't know anything different. It was so hard to make friends and I think it created this approach to making a "new family" of friends when I became a teenager and young adult.
​
I remember always wanting to be a "good kid". The "best kid" for my parents. I feel like my parents attached this moniker to me that made things harder for me to mature into a rounded adult later in life. My parents always flaunted me as this point of accomplishment, the accomplishment that I was "so extremely well behaved". I would strive to be super polite, and a good host, try to help out when my parents had their friends over, literally fill their cups when the opportunity presented themselves. I think I did this because I must have made the conclusion that if I was quiet, super polite, helpful and useful then I had value. That I could be loved. That I could earn this love from my parents through acts of service.
I remember feeling like my sister and I had extremely different experiences growing up. When my parents were at work I took care of her, cleaned and cooked. one time my sister told my mom to eff off when she was 5 and I was 8. My mind was blown. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the bravery and courage to defy my mother. Looking back, my sister was just mirroring the language she learned from my parents from whenever they fought. I remembering seriously worrying and getting scared that my father was going to belt her, or use the coat hanger, which was his preference with me. I feel like my mom was always checked out and I'm hurt that she allowed my father to take his rage out on me. That my mom could care less about me being beat, but never my sibling. It was very confusing and difficult for me to process. Not that I really processed it much as a kid. I honestly just wanted to be loved and be the best child possible. Honestly though, 'm seriously so glad that my sister was spared all of that complete non-sense. I don't wish that on anyone in the world. There were some punishments where he would walk in and tell me to pull my pants down without explanation. I have memories of tearing up and saying I didn't know why this was happening, asking what I did wrong and he would just remind me that if I resisted then I would get it worse and to hurry up and get ready. My father has since apologized. I think it is how he was raised. I didn't know what to say in response, but I told him I loved him and it's in the past. But I don't know if I was being honest when I said that. My mother would still gaslight me to this day if any of this became topic of discussion, not that I'm guessing. A year ago she told me that much of my pained memories were false and this never happened. My father on the other hand typically stays pensive and unchallenging.
It seems so damned crazy writing all of this out, it feels like a heartbreaking novel and not my life at all. But it was and is my life. I have difficulties opening up and expressing my feelings and advocating for myself when the moments are true and appropriate to do so. I know it's the healthier way to communicate, but I was literally taught to stay quiet and be useful. Fast forward 20-25 years and I'm going to be 35 and I feel like just ending it all. Every year my birthday passes and I'll get a text from my family happy birthday. But they know I'm in a difficult place, they know I miss them, they know I love them and forgive them, I try the high road whenever I can but I just don't see the point anymore. they won't celebrate my life and existence, but they'll throw family gatherings for each other, birthdays, christmas, fathers day and mothers day.
On that note, another mother's day has recently passed and my mother never invited me over, I texted my father three weeks in advance in hopes of securing a time to come over and celebrate my mothers life with my family as a family. I felt particularly stung this mother's day when they celebrated and didn't text or call to invite me over. I live in the same small town so it's easy to hop over. I literally live three blocks away.
Anyway, my mother was diagnosed with cancer over christmas this year and I have been worrying for my mother ever since and thinking about my life with her and the mortal coil and the finite mount of time I may have with her. I feel like there is a large empty part in my heart that wishes my mother and I could go grab a coffee together. She can show me her ipad app art that she has been really excited about for a couple years now. She loves showing off her digital art and I love seeing her joy and how proud she is about her art. I just don't know why she couldn't feel the same for me, her only son. Maybe I'm just a her dissapointment.
I dropped out of highschool and left the family home when I was 16. I just couldn't work for my dad during the night AND go to highschool AND socialize. Something had to give. Unfortunately it was highschool and my parents didn't really care about that at all. They were just... fine with it. they supported my sister through college and she was fortunately able to graduate with a veterinary degree of sorts. she still lives with them now as she pays off her student debt, but I left and travelled and worked on music for over a decade so I admit that I was entirely out of the family picture for some time. But as I get older, not wanting to repeat the mistakes of my parents I fear that that is precisely what's been creeping up in my life.
five years ago I met the absolute most wonderful human being and I am so lucky to have my partner in my life. She and I are engaged now and set to be married. I hoped that the news would overwhelm my parents with excitement and joy. Maybe a facebook post about their son, share some family pictures or something. But they did nothing at all. I think they showed off pictures of the trip to Mexico that week instead.
I just don't really understand how I'm this unworthy of their love and unfortunately now I'm realizing that illusion that I am unworthy has infected my relationship with my fiance. I love her so much but when I can't fix everything in her life I feel like I am the failure and the guilt overhelms me so much and the guilt is such a strong motivator for me, and it usually motivates me into becoming the biggest doormat in the world. I've never worked harder for a relationship or invested this much energy. I feel she deserves it. But I don't advocate for myself. So I build up resentment. Like I clean the house constantly and work and help bail out of her bad spending habits and cover her rent without question and this and that. To be clear, she doesn't take advantage of me and that's not how I feel about it. But I do let this annoyance build up inside of me because I don't know how to communicate my feelings in a healthy way. I'm scared I'll lose the person if I speak up, or I'll be gaslit. Again, that's not my partner that gaslights. That's just generally how I feel I'll be treated if I open up with people. It all goes back to my childhood. It's affected every friendship and work relationship I've had since.
When I was 20-ish, 15 years years ago I did the classic, "seek the relationship that most comfortably fits into the patterns you experienced with your parents". And so I trapped myself in a horrific and extremely damaging relationship with a girl I'll call K. She has undiagnosed bipolaBPD, she would never seek help but self-medicate. She ended up in the hospital maybe four times for self-harming and this where she was considered to have these diseases by a few doctors on different occasions. Anway, it turned into a relationship of abuse and it wasn't exactly new territory for me. I was ashamed in that 8 year relationship. I wanted out so bad, but she would threaten to unalive everytime I tried to get away. Of course, some weeks would go by and i would get my hair pulled out of my scalp, a knife waving in the air in front of my face, spat in the face, kicked, punched, bit, a pot of freshly boiled ramen soup thrown in my face and eyes. What's worse is that I seeked police intervention on multiple occasions. Every single time the police visited, they talked me out of pressing charges, asking me " well if she doesn't have any place to go, then do you have a place you can stay at, or the shelter?". twice they talked me out of a restraining order, that legal proceedings would take forever. Adn de-escalting me from wanting to take measures to ensure my safety because she may end up on the street as a result. To this day, I absolutely wish I advocated for myself here and pushed for a restraining order. I'm so mad at myself for not doing so.
Unfortunately, fast forward a couple years into that relationship and one evening everything would finally hit the fan. I told her to never touch me again and I absolutely meant it. she had just yanked out the largest chunk of my hair to date, to the point where my scalp was bleeding and I could even see epidermal matter still attached to the folicle ends that were in her clenched fingers. My head bled a bit and I pushed her off of me. Telling her that I needed to leave, that I was walking to my secure jam space just a 10 minute walk away. It had a leather couch in a cold concrete basement, but hey at least I would be safe for the night and I could play my drums and try and blow off this anxiety and fear in a way that was safe albeit very noisy.
She hated that I wanted to leave and convinced herself I would never return. To be fair, that was the energy I had. I never wanted to see her face again and have her name on my lips after that night. So her tactic was simple, to threaten me with calling the cops and tell them that I violently pushed her. I called her bluff and said "go ahead and I will just tell them everything you've done - yet again. All I am doing is going to the space to sleep, I said, maybe play drums." She called the cops and told them she was pushed into a wall, and she felt very unsafe. Which yes, I did push her off me when she attacked me. In the past, I tried various tactics, to run away didn't work, she just always chased me down. Or sometimes I would just sit there while she was violent against me and I just "dissapeared" kind of like how I would when my dad used his coat hanger. This time, I just pushed her off of me, I was done with the relationship at that point and we both knew it. Anyway, she called the police, they arrived and when questioned I told them that I pushed her off of me in self-defence. I was drinking that night and it didn't help my case as I was arrested without question that evening and I was charged on the spot without question with domestic assault. It devasted me. I asked the police how this could happen lawfully. That she is an abuser and there is a history of this multiple times. That I've requested a restraining order. They explained that in quebec the laws are a little different and in the case domestic cases, if there is a male aggressor against a female, then the male is automatically charged to the fullest extent. I was absolutelyu devasted by this. I can't tell you the amount of fear and anger I felt in that jail cell that night.
I feel so incredibly betrayed by the justice system, keep in mind, this is law that from what I understand is only in Quebec, I was there for music at the time with an old friend whom I am no longer in contact with. I don't think the rest of the country operates under law in this way. Now I appreciate that they are vigilant about woman abuse victims, but the law shouldn't be this absurdly biased. It just doesnt feel just and fair to me. Covert abusers shouldn't be able to take advantage of the justice system in this way, but it happens.
It was an awful experience, I was homeless for a couple months afterward, not allowed to retrieve my belongings, so I lost all of my life "crap" that I had built up, years of hardwork and investment. I mention this because I realize later in life that I have intense collecting behaviour. maybe as a self-soothing behaviour. But I love building up collections of my hobby stuff as I have many and I feel they keep me regulated and it's a form of therapy for me. In any case, I lost everything when I left that whole situation. It sucks, although ultimately it's clearly best that I got out of that dreadful circumstance. I flew across the country to my hometown and to be closer to my family and old friends from highschool. It's quite a small town mind you.
Unfortunately, my classic tendency to hide and not advocate for myself created an opportunity for my abusive ex. A year following those events, despite me assuring her that I had to block her because I flew away to start a new life provinces away. That I wished her the best. That I even promised I would never tell a soul what she did to me. Not to mention that unfortunately we live in a society where nobody really has an ounce of sympathy for a male abuse victim. I had every intention to keep that promise, but she couldn't trust me ultimately. I think her logic was maybe to just beat her ex to "the punch". Kill or be killed or something like that. I don't live my life like that so I don't really know what her plan was. But she made a bunch of posts on various social media platforms for all of our mutual friends, music friends, coworkers etc. that the relationship was over and she was free. That she got out of a cycle of abuse and she was ready to start a new chapter of her life. She never used my name, just that she was glad she got away from her toxic and abusive ex once and for all.
It was exactly like that night a year prior, she threatened me with this outcome she could design for me, and I called her on her bluff by saying I was still going to block her and I can't control what she does with her life or how she conducts herself, but that I was out and to never contact me ever again. She made me regret that decision.
The posts she made that day got so many likes and support from so many of our mutual friends, even musician mates that were closer to me than her, and it absolutely destroyed me, not just internally but socially. I no longer make music anymore and it hurts to go outside into the world because it feels like everybody sees me as this monster. And still I don't have a voice to inform anyone otherwise - except my family and my fiance. I have no friends anymore. They all left my life with the belief that I did all of these horrible and awful things.
I just don't trust people anymore as a result and it's just caused me to become extremely bitter and depressed. I ruminate on the past, maybe in attempts to fix the past so I can move on. So I could do better, so I don't have to punish myself for my mistakes in the past. But it just reopens every emotional wound I have and they never get a chance to heal. That was maybe 7 years ago now and I'm still replaying these events in my head every single morning for about 1 - 2 hrs. Then I go completely numb for the majority of the rest of the day, shallow breathing, and the mildest sadness that mascarades as fatigue and disinterest.
There are some days where I seriously fear for the future and I just feel like every cruel soul will inherit this earth and that's the future, they built this world of suffering and they deserve to inherit it. Their toxic flag staked so deep into the earth in reclamation. The future isn't holding any seats for people like us. I'm so heartbroken and defeated. I feel like white-wolfing my fiance because she deserves better than this traumatized person that hides from the world. I feel like giving her my collection of collections so she can sell it all off and pay off her 10k of credit debt, then with this act of kindness I can go out not feeling like a guilt-ridden defeated loser. And leave on a high note.
When I'm alone, I get trapped in these ruminating cycles and it's the angriest I ever get. It's reached the point where I feel like I am actually reliving all this past trauma every morning and I can't do it anymore. I just feel like I am so at the end of whatever this ride was.
I don't have any friends anymore and everyone but my fiance thinks I am a monster and it's just unbearable.
I just don't even know. I am even afraid that someone will read this post and suss through all of this and make the connection. Then I'll get another new email or random throwaway account with an insta message that says "I told you you would never be able to get over me. You can move on, but you will never be able to erase the past. Never truly. You know where to find me."
It's haunting and it's poisonous. I just feel haunted and poisoned and I don't know if there is a snake oil potent enough or antitode true enough to get me back to the generous, lighthearted, energetic kid I once was.
To whoever was willing to read through all of this, thank you for hearing me out. I don't know what advice I am even asking for here. I'm hoping just speaking this out into the world in some way can alleviate this misery. I don't know.

I am NOT OP. OP is u/BlueMillennium with one post being by u/Resource-National
Posts were originally posted to BabyBumps and pregnant
Trigger Warnings: may be distressing to those suffering from infertility, mentions of babyloss/stillbirth, mental health issues
Original Post : Posted on May 2, 2024 (12 days ago) by OOP
I have a weird situation and I need a sanity check. Please tell me I'm not crazy for being concerned and skeptical.
Background: a friend of mine is 34 years old, first time mom, and currently 42.5 weeks pregnant. She says her doctor is not concerned at all. After her 41 week appt, I asked when she would be getting induced, since generally doctors don't let you go past 41 weeks. She said her doctor didn't even talk about induction and baby is healthy, etc. Then a week later, she said her and her doctor briefly talked about induction and because she's dilated, doctor thinks she's in labor and to just come to the birthing center that night to check on progress. She ended up not going in at all because "she's not cramping" and made another appointment with her doctor, which was yesterday. She just let me know that her doctor said they'll induce her on Friday when she's 43 weeks! I'm absolutely baffled. I've given birth 3 times and every single time, they've told me that they rarely let women go past 41 weeks.
I'm starting to think something is going on. This friend is a bit of an odd duck. I have not seen her in person since she told us she was pregnant. She's turned down every offer for baby items, baby shower, walking buddy, etc. She has sent over baby bump pics over the last few months. She has a really small build but does have a small bump I guess. Nothing that would make me think she's 3 weeks overdue.
This is weird, right??
Comments agree that it is indeed strange but a few comments offer potential explanations.
Relevant Comments
mrun1: Midwife here. I think it’s entirely possible your friend and her doctor are going off different due dates. As many others have commented very few providers would be so relaxed about someone going >42 weeks. We often see a due date change after the dating scan but sometimes folks really latch onto their first “due date” that was based only on their last period.
MabelMyerscough: That would also make me very suspicious.. please let me/us know what the 'end result' is! Something sounds indeed shady.. but she's not in the same country as you guys right now? Is she in a country with very weird healthcare?

OOP: She's in the US at a large health system. Her boyfriend lives in Europe. It's a weird situation all around. The boyfriend was supposed to come down for the birth but she's made excuses on why he's not here. At first it was because he only had a week of vacation time and didn't want to get here too early and now it's that he'd rather spend that time with the baby after she's born. This friend was originally going to move to Europe for the birth but that never happened either...

MabelMyerscough: Interesting.. I'm not in the US but from what I read the US is even stricter with inducing early if needed and not past 41 weeks! Where I come from in EU they let you go until 42 weeks if all checkups are good, but not longer than that, ever..
Yeah maybe surrogate or something? I'd still be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.. has she shared pictures of nursery or something?

OOP: No pictures. We even asked for an ultrasound picture when we got suspicious (we have a friend chat group) but she said she never got copies of the images. It's so shady!! I've offered her my baby stuff that she might need but she doesn't want it for various reasons.
So I'm actually a surrogate and she's well aware of my experience with it. I don't think she could afford it 😕

DeepBackground5803: Is she someone you would have seen in person before pregnancy?
The 43 week induction is concerning to me. Weird especially that her doctor told her to go to the birthing center that night to get checked out, but she didn't because she wasn't cramping.
What do you think is going on? Do you think she secretly has a surrogate? Lying about being pregnant altogether?

OOP: We see each other maybe once or twice a year so not super concerning. She has a boyfriend who she visited overseas, which is supposedly where she got pregnant. I'm thinking there's something shady going on but at some point... There's no baby.. lol

UPDATE: Friend won't be induced until 43 weeks : Posted on May 5, 2024 (10 days ago) by OOP
My friend said her water was starting to leak on Thursday around 2pm. She said her doctor told her not to come in until her contractions are 4 min apart. She was not currently having contractions but more sharp cramps. Friday morning, I checked in on her. She said she's still not having contractions and she still plans to go in that night (last night) around 8pm. I text her around that time to wish her luck and I hope things go well, yadda yadda. She just said "thank you" and nothing else. No updates overnight.
My friend is a nurse at her delivery hospital and called me this morning, asking for an update because she's concerned about her water breaking nearly 48 hours ago and she hasn't had the baby. So, she called her hospital to see if my friend was there and they have no record of her checking in at all. She plans to text her this morning and see if she says she is in the hospital or what. We are all in the same group chat, for reference.
This is all just so crazy. My nurse friend said there's no way her doctor wouldn't have her immediately come in if she's 43 weeks and her water broke. I have no idea what to think. This friend is always really open and texts us all the time with random updates so the radio silence is not normal for her.
Update: friend says she's currently at the hospital and doing well but it's possible she put herself on the privacy list.
{Edited to remove private information}
**I get it. Nurse friend may crossed a line. I have no idea. Just updating with what I was told.
To be continued! 🤷🏼‍♀️
Update 2: it's now been almost 48 hours since she's arrived at the hospital, supposedly. She has said multiple times that she's there and all is well. Zero pictures, updates, or information. She's responding to other messages like normal. It's been 72 hours (I think) since her water broke and she's past 43 weeks now. This friend is one who sends tons of pictures when she's doing anything exciting so... This is definitely not like her. She has volunteered pregnancy related information the last several months.
We don't know how long to let this go. We all agree that we think there is no pregnancy or baby. We've all been friends since elementary school so this is hard for us to accept. There's 3 options. 1) she's pregnant and lied about her due date for whatever reason. 2) she truly believes she's pregnant even though we are pretty sure she hasn't been a doctor. 3) she's just straight up lying. This is hard for us because she hasn't posted on social media so if she wanted the attention, why not post there too? We are thinking that she's lied about previous life events. She was once engaged for years without any wedding or meeting the supposed fiance. I'm sad for her and mad/disappointed she is lying to us.
What do we do??
Update 3: I don't even know how to start. Friend has supposedely been in the hospital for several days at this point. I'm actually in St Lucia right now on vacation so don't have access to our chat group via texts so trying to get updates via FB.
One friend in that text group said she reached out privately and the friend said she had the baby but was too stressed to send pics or updates. So she reached out to the other friend in the chat who said she also reached out to the pregnant friend who said she has NOT had the baby and was starting pitocin that day. So she's now telling people different things
And now, another reddit user reached out via PM. She posted a topic on the Pregnancy subreddit about this exact story. Someone linked her to my posts. I can confirm it is indeed the same person. The main details she has shared are the same with a few things that are off from what I was told.
We are actively trying to get a hold of her parents. They moved recently and no longer have the landline number but we are very concerned.
Edit 4: one friend in our group was able to find pregnant friends home address. This friend is closest to her between all of us. She is going to go over this evening and is prepared to talk to her. We talked to someone we know who is a psychologist and helped us with what to say, how she might react, etc. her parents should be there as well.
Pregnant friend has told one friend that she had the baby yesterday and another friend that she just had the baby an hour ago and is being discharged, which is just impossible. We think she truly believes she is pregnant based off a pregnancy test and it was likely a chemical pregnancy. She never met with a doctor because other tests were negative and I think deep down, she was afraid a doctor would confirm that there is no baby. So, she decided to carry on as if she was pregnant and now she has tricked herself into thinking she is pregnant.
We also found the baby daddy from Europe. He is married. We believe maybe they had an affair. His wife may have already tried talking to pregnant friend and accused her of lying. Or, maybe she found some random guy and made the whole thing up. We have no idea. We are going to urge her to go to a mental health facility in her town.
Relevant Comments:
ruebarbara_: Dude! I had a life long friend do this to me in 2022. Lied the whole way through the pregnancy. Had a baby shower. Bought a fake bump. Boyfriend was excited to be a dad. But none of us actually hung out together. Literally no one knew it was all a lie until she went in for her “induction” and instead she actually fled the state because she was in too deep and didn’t know what to do. Her mom called me and asked what doctor she sees, I gave her the name. She called the clinic and this friend never showed up for her confirmation of pregnancy appointment. Her mom was so embarrassed but also worried. Friend ended up going to inpatient psych for a few days. She’s a pathological liar. We are no longer friends as this wasn’t the first time she had lied about something major and I just don’t have the mental space for that. It was a wild ride that actually caused me a lot of anxiety.

OOP: Oh my God 😲😲 that's what I'm thinking now.. how is she going to get out of the lie??

NoYesterday_6662: I wonder if she feels like she’s “ behind “ in the friend group. So she makes stuff up to feel better. Idk if any of the other friends maybe are married or have kids? So she’s making things up to feel like she’s not “ left out “?

OOP: Yeah she's always wanted kids. There's one other friend who is unmarried, no kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

bananapajama1: when is the last time you saw her in person? :o is that normal for your friendship?

OOP: It's probably been a year but yeah that's normal. We try to see each other twice a year. I did offer to see her; throw a shower, be her walking buddy, go shopping for baby stuff. She didn't take me up on any of it. Now that is odd. Originally when she told us she was pregnant, she said she was moving to Europe with the boyfriend so it was just so chaotic there for a while, according to her.

Beckella: She’ll claim she had a stillbirth for the attention.

OOP: I think she's convinced herself that she's really pregnant. She did maternity photos and everything but she doesn't really look pregnant. Bloated maybe

JG0923: Is she one to lie about things in general? I had a friend like that who lied about A LOT of things in her life and we didn’t realize it for years and years.

OOP: Looking back at the things she's said over the years, it's possible. She had a fiance for 5 years that I never met. Wondering if that was a lie. Ugh

Resource-National: This is crazy! I “met” a woman on a fertility fb group who is telling me the exact same thing! She lives in Kansas City apparently and has no baby bump and has told me for months she’s been bullied by friends and co workers. She has sent me bump pictures and even photos from her maternity shoot. Literally same story- leaking fluid on Thursday and it’s Sunday and no baby. Today she told me she’s 42 and 6!!! And even said her friends are “attacking” her saying she’s not even pregnant! Really curious if it’s the same woman.

OOP: Wow, same woman. I saw your PM. Holy shit this is wild.

Going past 42 weeks? : Posted on May 6, 2024 (8 days ago) by u/Resource-National
I think I may have befriended a person who is faking their pregnancy. We met on an online fertility community and both got pregnant around the same time. We’ve checked in on each other through our “pregnancies”. She claims to have a very small bump, which I know can happen, and has more or less been bullied by friends and co workers. She’s sent me bump pics throughout her pregnancy and there is no bump.
She’s post term now. Around 40 weeks she claimed to be spotting for a week saying it was her “bloody show”. I tried to keep an open mind because even tho this is my second pregnancy and none of my friends had a bloody show like that, hey, anything is possible right? Now she claims to have been leaking amniotic fluid since Thursday night. She messaged me Friday afternoon and my response was to call her dr or go to labor and delivery to be checked. She claimed that it was confirmed to be amniotic fluid and she was told to go home since she wasn’t having contractions. I found that odd considering she was past the 24 hr mark.
Today she says she’s still leaking fluid and has no contractions. Then I asked her how far long she is and she said 42.6. Prior to this, the first thing she said to me was how she was so upset because her close friends were accusing her of faking a pregnancy. I found that really odd. But after the 42.6 I have to wonder. When I suggested she got to l&d immediately it seemed like groundbreaking news to her (“will they help labor speed up?”). She said she was treated at the er on Friday, which my understanding is that anything pregnancy related always goes through l&d.
I realize not everyone has a provider who educates them or takes it upon themselves to learn the basics of pregnancy. Maybe she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. But now I’m thinking this person is either fake or totally lying about being pregnant. Either way it’s bizarre!! Does any ob permit pregnancy past 42 weeks in the us?!
Edit:
Wow- the number of comments saying they’ve seen this similar story questioning this woman’s pregnancy is insane. For the record I’ve never told this woman any identifying features other than I live on the west coast. No photos etc. this is through Facebook and my profile is extremely private and we are NOT Facebook friends! Thank you for your concern. My mind def went to all of the horror stories.
Update: It’s safe to say this woman isn’t pregnant. In a shocking turn of events here is a post about the same woman written by her irl friend https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/LpIboHfJT5
Here is the final Update #2 to this very sad and bizarre saga: https://www.reddit.com/BabyBumps/s/Zm4ARKWcW1
Relevant Comments:
Possible_Library2699: I feel like someone else posted about this same woman!?

ppaulapple: The OP in the other sub just confirmed it’s the same person 2 hours ago 🤯

Final Update: 43 week pregnant friend has admitted to not being pregnant. : Posted on May 7, 2024 (7 days ago) by OOP
A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. Previous posts can be found in my history. I'll link to them later.
Pregnant friend will be called El in this post for simplicity sake.
El has told different friends different stories over the last couple days. She told one friend that she gave birth yesterday, but another friend that she gave birth today and is already home and doing well. The friend closest to her was able to find her home address (she moved recently).
Friend went to the delivery hospital to double check that she wasnt there. They confirmed they had no patient with that name. She called El. She asked El where she was and El said she was leaving the hospital right now. Friend said "well I am here so I'll help you walk out". That's when El broke down and admitted everything after my friend was able to meet her at her house. Here's the gist:
El visited her boyfriend in Europe. A few weeks later, she thought she might be pregnant. She took a test and it had an incredibly faint line. She started posting in pregnancy FB groups asking for confirmation. Then she went to the doctor and asked for an ultrasound. They confirmed that there was no baby. El was convinced they were lying to her. She says she went to another boutique ultrasound place and they did a 3d scan and found a baby and did an entire pregnancy scan. (We don't believe this actually happened). Then El started getting symptoms, her belly starting growing and she fully convinced herself that she was pregnant. She did maternity photos, prepped for a baby and told her workplace and parents. She never went back to the doctor because she was convinced they were all lying to her.
Once she hit "full term", she starting getting anxious. She thought she was cramping, losing her mucus plug, and her water broke. She didn't know what to do because the doctors wouldn't help her. Once she went past 43 weeks, she decided to go to the hospital (yesterday). She showed up with her hospital bags packed and her parents went with her. She told the front desk that she was 43 weeks pregnant and was ready to have her baby. I don't know what all happened here but they basically turned her away and told her she was not pregnant or having a baby. We think her parents started to figure it all out a week or so ago, but didn't know the extent of the lies. They have always let El do whatever she wants and pay for her entire lifestyle. We assume she lied to them about everything.
Friend said El does have a swollen belly that looks like she's 20ish weeks. They talked for a long time and she is grieving this lost pregnancy/baby. She legitimately thought she was going to give birth.
We think she is suffering from a phantom pregnancy. Thank you to the redditor who told me about this. I had never heard of it.
We are all very upset for her and realize that we need to be very careful. We are not going to attack her or confront her as a group. We have a mental health resource ready to help her, if we can delicately get her to agree to go.
This is not how I thought this would all play out. This is all so unbelievable. I appreciate everyone who reached out and commented with words of support. 🩷
Relevant Comments:
linny93: You mentioned in your last post that the “father” is married. Did you get any update on that situation? Did she choose a random European guy and say it was her fiancé?

OOP: She seems to think they are together but his FB says otherwise. He has posts with his wife on trips, etc. we just don't know yet 😕

cherb30: I’m a little confused, forgive me for being skeptical!
Do women who lose a baby 20+ weeks ago still have a noticeable baby bump? What do you mean they “turned her away and told her she was not pregnant”… did they take a pregnancy test or just turn her away? Did any of your friends become concerned that she waited til 43 weeks to go to the doctor to deliver? That is super late. Also I’m really surprised the hospital would have disclosed she was/was not a pregnant patient there. Anyway just my initial questions on this!

OOP: We all started getting very suspicious at 41 weeks when she said her doctors didn't want to induce her and it grew with each week she went past. We were very very concerned, hence my initial post on this subreddit.
I don't know if the hospital did any tests or checked her in any way. I'm shocked they wouldn't have her meet with a social worker or something. She def does not look pregnant enough to give birth. She's a very tiny girl normally so any weight gain in her stomach would be very noticeable. She probably weighs 100-110 pounds. I think it was probably obvious she wasn't ready to give birth and they maybe told her to go to the ER when she wasn't in their patient system.
We are trying to sort between the truth and lies she's spun trying to convince herself and others.

OOP (in response to a deleted comment): She isn't actually pregnant but she truly believes she was pregnant, enough to convince her body that she was. It's called a phantom or hysterical pregnancy. She's having a mental health episode. She's not insane but she does need professional support. She thought she was coming home with a baby. That's what she is grieving. She's wanted to be a mom so badly.
PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT IN ANY LINKED POSTS OR COMMENTS
Marking as concluded due to OOPs friend being confirmed to have not been pregnant.

Fairplay simplifies access to recreational activities for young Queenslanders! This innovative program offers vouchers to help kids aged 5-17 participate in various sports, arts, and cultural activities. Here's your guide to navigating the Fairplay app and maximizing its benefits:

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Fairplay Login: Existing Users

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Fairplay Login & App: A Gateway to Fun

The Fairplay app makes accessing recreational activities for young Queenslanders a breeze. By downloading the app, logging in, and exploring its features, you can empower your child to participate in enriching activities that foster their physical, mental, and social development. Remember, responsible use of technology is crucial. Ensure your child understands safe online practices and only uses the app under adult supervision. With the Fairplay app, get ready to unlock a world of possibilities and watch your child explore their passions!
Fairplay simplifies access to recreational activities for young Queenslanders! This innovative program offers vouchers to help kids aged 5-17 participate in various sports, arts, and cultural activities. Here's your guide to navigating the Fairplay app and maximizing its benefits:

Downloading the App:

1. App Store or Google Play: Search for Fairplay in the App Store (iOS) or Google Play (Android) depending on your device.
2. Download and Install: Click "Install" or "Get" to download the app. Once downloaded, follow the on-screen instructions to complete the installation.

Fairplay Login: Existing Users

1. Launch the App: Open the Fairplay app on your device.
2. Login Credentials: Enter your existing username or email address and password in the designated fields.
3. Secure Login: Ensure you're connected to a secure Wi-Fi network before entering your login details.

Fairplay Login: New Users

1. New User Option: Locate the "New User" or "Register" option on the login screen.
2. Registration Process: Follow the on-screen prompts to create your Fairplay account. You'll likely be required to provide basic information like name, email address, and a secure password.

Exploring the Fairplay App:

Once logged in, familiarize yourself with the app's layout:

• Activity Feed: Stay updated on the latest activities, programs, and news related to Fairplay.
• Search Function: Easily search for specific activities by location, age group, or category (sports, arts, etc.).
• Activity Details: Explore detailed information about each activity, including descriptions, age suitability, and contact information for the provider.
• Voucher Management: View your available vouchers, their eligibility criteria, and expiry dates.

Finding the Perfect Activity:

1. Utilize the Search: Utilize the search function to find activities that interest your child, filtering by location, age, and category.
2. Browse by Category: Explore the various activity categories like "Sports," "Arts," or "Culture" to discover new and exciting options.
3. Read Activity Details: Once you find an activity, delve into the details to understand what it entails, age requirements, and any necessary equipment.

Applying for a Voucher:

1. Eligibility Check: Ensure your child meets the age and residency requirements for the chosen activity.
2. Apply Within the App: Locate the "Apply for Voucher" button within the activity details and follow the steps to submit your request.
3. Supporting Documents: You might be required to upload documents like proof of age or residency depending on the program.

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2. Contact the Provider: Reach out to the activity provider using the contact details provided in the app to confirm registration and discuss any voucher redemption procedures.
3. Enjoy the Activity: Let your child experience the joy of participating in their chosen activity!

Additional Features:

• Notifications: Opt-in for notifications to receive updates on new activities, voucher approvals, and program changes.
• Help & Support: Access the app's help section for frequently asked questions, contact details for support, and troubleshooting tips.

Fairplay Login & App: A Gateway to Fun

I had this dream recently, it was very detailed. Like the plot of a movie. I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I had kept dreaming to learn more... Came here because I had to document it.
My dream;
I was an observer, not a participant. I was transported back to ancient Egypt. There was a confrence of sorts. A large body of people, maybe a governmental body? had gathered to hear a person make the case to the Queen that he knew how to find and access an ancient treasure. From my perspective, I got to see over his shoulder as he showed a map to the Queen. The place in question was a weathered and worn pyramid like structure that was more akin to a massive mound or a small mountain. It was somewhere within the borders of Egypt, in the wilds. But this man knew where it was, he was an engineer or something. Excitedly he explained how they could access the chamber inside the top of this mountain. He showed diagrams of the tunneling they would undertake, to dig up from the base of the mountain and into the chamber from below. He explained that there were already small cave systems with entries at the base of the mountain, which indicated to him that this was indeed the site of ancient activity, and from which he would gain a great advantage in his endeavor.
From my 3rd person perspective, I could see what he was talking about clearly. And indeed, an ancient chamber existed in what appeared to be a mountain that was roughly the shape of a steep pyramid. I was unable to discern what lay inside. As the Queen blessed off on his plans, and the congress of people within the large gathering area began to approach in order to better acquaint themselves with the plan, I was suddenly transported to an even more ancient time.
Now, keep in mind I started this journey in ancient Egypt. So, from this point I transported thousands of years further into the past. I was under the impression that it had been 25,000 years prior to the scene I had just witnessed.
Now I was suddenly observing the ancient civilization that had created the chamber. I sensed I was in the same region that would someday be Egypt. The land was verdant and deep green with long grasses and dotted with trees, not unlike a very lush savannah. The temperature was balmy. Greens with a brilliant blue sky dominated the scene. In the distance dark brown rocky spires rose out of the landscape, dotted on the tops and upon their outcroppings hung trees and grasses.
My focus settled on a cluster of large, pyramid-like structures. I saw these from above as the new scene came into my focus and observation. The structures were, as I said, Pyramid like. But imagine the wire structure of a pyramid. They weren't solid. Vertically, the pyramid was segmented into 2 or 3 tiers of broad walkways. The walkways formed a square. In the middle were the stairways that led up to the various tiers of walkways. All elements of the structures were broad. The beams that made up the four edges were made a very thick, dark gray material. Like a carbon fiber. The walkway floors were like a dark tinted transparent material, with side walls/rails that were made of the same material as the walkways. There were four stairways from the ground that led up to an intermediate platform, where the stairways reversed direction up to the walkways, therefore each ground stairway entry onto the intermediate platform was flanked on either side by a set of stairs leading the opposite way up to the main platforms.
On the broad walkways/platforms, which were open in the middle to look down at the intermediate platform/stairways below, were people. Humans. Working and living on the platforms. It appeared that there were vendors and shops/kiosks. There also appeared to be living accommodations either out in the open or sheltered in smaller sub structures. The pyramid was massive, with ample room for several 100's of people. I never got close enough to see in detail the people themselves, but they wore what appeared to be modern clothing, and in many cases what appeared to be dark gray uniforms. I didn't see the details, but I sensed vehicles at the base of the pyramid, with worn paths through the grasses off to points in the distance and other similar pyramids in the vicninity.
From my perspective, it seemed there were 3 to 4 of these structures in the area. In the back of my head, I was aware that this region contained the only human activity on the surface on the planet.
I was also aware of the presence of a large body of water. An ocean somewhere in the distance.
Without transition I was suddenly looking at the ancient mound that had been in question at the beginning of my dream. Except it wasn't ancient. It was manufactured and sculpted by human hands. It was made as much out of rock as it was the same material I saw at the modern pyramids, I had this awareness that the material was transitioning to rock, as if it adopted the properties of the materials it was attached to. It seemed as if they had somehow shaved down a larger mountain to affect the shape that they had sought. The chamber had large slits around the circumference (the chamber within was round) which let light in and in some cases allowed one to look out at the surrounding landscape.
I was made aware of a family as I took in this scene. The family apparently were the caretakers of this facility. Two adults and two children. They seemed happy. The parents both wore the uniform I had seen earlier. It was sharp, and colored dark grey with light grey accents. They had a living quarter that was affixed to the side of the facility in a way I couldn't quite understand. The structure also seemed metalic but not the same material as I had seen thus far. In this part of the dream I became well acquainted to them, not personally, but in understanding their day to day activities, giving way to my understanding of them as caretakers.
As my perspective moved through the facility I realized there was not yet a treasure, but what appeared to be supplies for a colony. Lots of cans of fuel and food stuffs and other random equipment that I couldn't understand the use of. From my 3rd person perspective I understood that this would be the site that the future Egyptians would eventually access, and indeed there would be some valuable treasure, the contents of which eluded my understanding, held within this very chamber after it had long been sealed.
I got to see the detailed life of this family, and interestingly their living accomodation which as I said was somehow affixed to the side of the chamber in a way that I couldn't discern or undesrtand, which itself was atop the mountain/structure. Beyond, visible through the large windows of their living quarters was the ocean that I had sensed earlier. Their living chamber was large and spacious. The side opposite the chamber was facing a dark greenish/gray roiling ocean, with yet still more spires in the distance sticking out of its waves - except these were dark grey, craggy and devoid of any vegetation. The waves that crashed at their bases seemed angry. I understood immediately that this was an ancient ocean that would not exist during the time of the Egyptians
I was surprised to see a platform outside the large windows which docked vehicles. They appeared to be classic ATVs (like your average four-wheel ATV with handlebars) except these vehicles, despite their four wheels had some apparatus affixed to it, around its entire circumference that I immediately understood allowed this vehicle to fly using some method I could not understand. There was a name brand affixed to what I understood to be the gas tank, a name which I can't recall. But it indicated mass production and greater civilization.
I was suddenly aware of the presence of multiple chamber mountains on either side of the one I was observing, and each had a care-taker family with one or multiple of these vehicles. And still, it felt like there could be more facilities that I was not aware of. For some reason, having observed these vehicles I suddenly came to an understanding that the presence of these people, and the infrastructure they had built, was in support of some sort of mining or extraction. That everything was one collective enterprise. I was not privy to what it was, or how involved it was, how long it would take or had taken to that point. But I did have the sudden understanding that, though these were humans, they were not from earth. That this was a mining colony that had a certain amount of time to accomplish whatever it was they were sent here to extract.
Simultaneously, I was able to understand vaguely a connection between this people, and future humans. Without understanding the details, I discerned that this group would eventually leave, and the landscape would be altered forever. They would leave a presence on earth, whether by accident, or on purpose, it was unclear to me.
That presence would be the progenitors of modern humans and human civilization as we currently know it. It seemed apparent to me that whatever contingent was left behind after this enterprise would have very little in the way of the technology that I was observing.
This gave me the distinct suspicion that the people who were left were done so by some tragic mistake. But their stories, passed down from generation to generation would at the very least influence the ancient Egyptians. So much so that they themselves would try to emulate the pyramids they had come to understand had existed through the tribal knowledge passed down through generations. And that future peoples would understand that untold wealth and knowledge existed deep within the ancient mountains that had been carved out by the progenitors, thus the initial scenes of my dream where one man and his team of engineers had narrowed down their search and had pinpointed such a mountain, and devised a way that would allow them to access said treasure.
What that treasure would be remained unclear to me throughout the entire dream.
My dream slowly decayed into other less interesting and focused things until I woke up. The progenitors stuck with me and I felt compelled to write it out as it was so fascinating. I had to share.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

TL;DR: The frequent "Will I be bored?" question, but for an extreme introvert who doesn't care at all about the on-ship activities.
So, after wearing me down for two years (kidding-ish), last summer my family finally convinced me to join them on a Caribbean cruise that leaves Miami in about two weeks. I think I'm looking forward more to spending a weekend in Miami beforehand than to the cruise itself. I'm going on the cruise because it's to celebrate a graduation, which I'm all for.
As to the cruise, I have a cabin to myself (not a solo cabin). My parents and my sibling's family have adjoining cabins. Three in a row, all balconies. The cruise is on NCL Sky, a Caribbean loop from Miami. It includes I'm guessing standard ports like Puerto Plata, DR and San Juan, PR. Two excursions - a tour / food tasting in Antigua and a tour of the ship on one of the days at sea.
I enjoy researching, planning, deciding. I like preparing for a vacation almost as much as the trip itself. So a cruise making so many decisions for me just doesn't sit well with me. I also prefer spending a week in one place and get to know it, almost like I'm living there, not less than a day in a place and moving on. I know many people use cruises as a preview to then visit again later, but for me, I want to revisit pretty much all of them (assuming they are all safe, I'd be up for visiting every country and every major city in the world).
I do look forward to the ports, but I dread the time on the ship, particularly the two days at sea, outside of the tour. Most of the activities seem more extrovert / social oriented. Unfortunately I can make introverts look more like extroverts (I haven't seen a human in a week? Okay with me. I have literally one friend whom I see roughly once a month, and I work from home). Stuff like karaoke, dance lessons, bingo, casino, etc... eh, I can live without all of those.
Fun facts: While I love reading, I can only read for maybe 1-2 hours at a time, so I don't see myself reading all day long. I'll use my balcony, but if I use it too much my family will think I'm anti-social. While on any vacation, I'm very anti-technology so I don't want to just watch movies or something, and I'm all about experiencing things I can't experience at home, but that's usually museums, local restaurants, landmarks, things like that, when visiting a city. Otherwise I would just have a staycation.
So, especially for those who are super introverted, how do you get through the time on ship? I'll watch the water some, and visit the bars, but I'm thinking overall I'll just be rotating a few more tolerable activities.
I promise, I hope I enjoy it. I want to enjoy it. And I'm sure I'll spend time wandering the ship, see at least one show, stuff like that. I'm just uncertain about how to fill something like 50 hours over 9 days on a ship with a ton of activities I have hardly any interest in.
TIA!

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Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…

Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…