Free topic worksheets
phcareers
2020.06.22 07:37 esb1212 phcareers
Anything related to careers in Philippines setting. Job listing not allowed.
2017.01.08 00:47 dinapubu Free math activities, worksheets and lessons online.
Primary school free online and printable math activities and lessons for children. Kids can use any device to work on these activities and lessons. These resources are helpful for parents who are doing home schooling for their children
2014.08.21 07:03 Free discussion about any topic
A sub for open, free discussion by anyone, for anyone, about anything.
2024.05.14 06:42 sfgbot POSTGAME THREAD: Dodgers @ Giants, 5/13. Join the Giants game / baseball discussion and social thread!
Postgame Thread 5/14/2024
Final Score: Dodgers 6, Giants 4Purpose of this thread
- Discuss developing baseball action LIVE
- Discuss the Giants game
- Post hilarious memes / images / gifs / information that may not deserve a front-page post of its own. If it's big news, feel free to do both! This, and the gameday thread, are good places to post your Dodger jokes and memes.
- Discuss ANYTHING as long as it follows the rules of conduct.
Highlights
For more off-topic fun, check out /SFGSocial!
2024.05.14 06:37 UNDERdecoded Michigan Prevent the Passage of SB632 to Protect Payday Loans
 | At the moment if a customer loans $600 dollars and reloans every 2 weeks for a year, the amount they’ve loaned comes out to $15,600. With that they would have only paid $2,000 in fees which comes out to 12.8% of what they loaned. This is cheaper than most bank loans especially when you account for the fact that it doesn’t accrue interest if you can’t pay for some reason it’s more beneficial to those struggling. Also if your check ever returns payday lenders are very understanding and work out payment arrangements for $20-$50 per pay period to avoid court. The only growth of the amount you owe is if your check returns and that is a one time 31.14 cent check return fee. Banks also generally aren’t approving the person for a loan and that’s why they’re coming to a payday lender. Every payday loan customer has a bank account so in general they’ve most likely tried every avenue beforehand. I don’t know about your credit card rates but mine are sitting above that, many in the range of 20% or more and payday loans have been a helpful tool in my families times of need. Focusing on the APR when it comes to payday loans is ludicrous and deceptive because payday loans don’t accrue interest, they charge a one time fee between 12.8%- 16% of the loaned amount. (MAX Loan $600; up to 2 Statewide) submitted by UNDERdecoded to povertyfinance [link] [comments] An Example Of What Happened When Illinois Passed an Identical Bill “Interest Rate Caps in Illinois: In March 2021, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker signed the Predatory Loan Prevention Act into law, capping interest rates at 36% for consumer loans, including payday and car title loans. This legislation was modeled after the federal Military Lending Act, which also protects active service members and their dependents by imposing a similar rate cap. Prior to this law, payday loans in Illinois carried an average annual percentage rate (APR) of 297%, while auto title loans had APRs around 179%1. By implementing the 36% rate cap, Illinois joined 17 other states and Washington, D.C., which say they do so in attempt to provide substantial protections to low-income communities targeted by predatory lending practices. Foreclosure Rates in Illinois: Unfortunately, despite the "positive" impact on consumer loans, Illinois faced a surge in foreclosures. In October 2021, about one in every 1,923 homes in Illinois was in foreclosure, representing an 182% increase from September and nearly triple the number from October 2019. Most of these foreclosures occurred in Chicago, where the unemployment rate was higher than the national average. In summary, while the interest rate cap has positively impacted consumer loans, Illinois still faces challenges in its housing market. The state’s efforts to strike a balance between protecting borrowers and maintaining access to credit remain a topic of ongoing debate.” Payday Loans are an Essential Business As a customer service provider within a payday loan company and as someone who grew up in a low-income household that has regularly utilized these services, I understand the importance of payday loans in our society. These loans provide crucial financial support for many families in Michigan, including my own. The proposed bill SB632 threatens the existence of such services, which could have devastating effects on those who rely on them. Payday loans are often the only option for individuals who do not have access to traditional banking services or are living paycheck to paycheck. According to data from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), nearly 27% of households in America are underbanked or unbanked. This means they lack access to basic financial services that many take for granted. It also fails to take into account that some people just dont want to deal with banks. If passed, SB632 will limit these already scarce resources further. This is not just about protecting an industry; it's about safeguarding a lifeline for countless families across Michigan. We must raise awareness about this issue and contact our local representatives to voice our concerns against SB632. By doing so, we can protect payday loan services and ensure they remain available for those who need them most. Please sign this petition and join us in standing up against SB632! Say No to SB632 contact your local representative today and tell them to vote no on SB632! Say No to SB632: Protect Access to Short-Term Lending As Michiganders, we understand the importance of having access to emergency funds when traditional banks may not provide loans. Payday loans have been a lifeline for many of us, preventing car repossessions, power shutoffs, and home foreclosures. Let’s stand together and say no to SB632, which threatens to eliminate this crucial resource. The Facts About Payday Loans: Debunking Misconceptions 1. Interest Rates and Fees: SB632 falsely claims that payday loans are predatory with exorbitant interest rates. However, payday loans don’t accrue interest like traditional bank loans. Instead, borrowers pay a one-time fee based on the loan amount (up to $600 per branch with a maximum fee of $77, limited to two loans statewide).
Feel free to share this message with your local representatives to advocate for responsible lending practices! 😊🗳️📜 |
2024.05.14 06:33 UNDERdecoded Michigan Prevent the Passage of SB632 to Protect Payday Loans
| | At the moment if a customer loans $600 dollars and reloans every 2 weeks for a year, the amount they’ve loaned comes out to $15,600. With that they would have only paid $2,000 in fees which comes out to 12.8% of what they loaned. This is cheaper than most bank loans especially when you account for the fact that it doesn’t accrue interest if you can’t pay for some reason it’s more beneficial to those struggling. Also if your check ever returns payday lenders are very understanding and work out payment arrangements for $20-$50 per pay period to avoid court. The only growth of the amount you owe is if your check returns and that is a one time 31.14 cent check return fee. Banks also generally aren’t approving the person for a loan and that’s why they’re coming to a payday lender. Every payday loan customer has a bank account so in general they’ve most likely tried every avenue beforehand. I don’t know about your credit card rates but mine are sitting above that, many in the range of 20% or more and payday loans have been a helpful tool in my families times of need. Focusing on the APR when it comes to payday loans is ludicrous and deceptive because payday loans don’t accrue interest, they charge a one time fee between 12.8%- 16% of the loaned amount. (MAX Loan $600; up to 2 Statewide) submitted by UNDERdecoded to Petition [link] [comments] An Example Of What Happened When Illinois Passed an Identical Bill “Interest Rate Caps in Illinois: In March 2021, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker signed the Predatory Loan Prevention Act into law, capping interest rates at 36% for consumer loans, including payday and car title loans. This legislation was modeled after the federal Military Lending Act, which also protects active service members and their dependents by imposing a similar rate cap. Prior to this law, payday loans in Illinois carried an average annual percentage rate (APR) of 297%, while auto title loans had APRs around 179%1. By implementing the 36% rate cap, Illinois joined 17 other states and Washington, D.C., which say they do so in attempt to provide substantial protections to low-income communities targeted by predatory lending practices. Foreclosure Rates in Illinois: Unfortunately, despite the "positive" impact on consumer loans, Illinois faced a surge in foreclosures. In October 2021, about one in every 1,923 homes in Illinois was in foreclosure, representing an 182% increase from September and nearly triple the number from October 2019. Most of these foreclosures occurred in Chicago, where the unemployment rate was higher than the national average. In summary, while the interest rate cap has positively impacted consumer loans, Illinois still faces challenges in its housing market. The state’s efforts to strike a balance between protecting borrowers and maintaining access to credit remain a topic of ongoing debate.” Payday Loans are an Essential Business As a customer service provider within a payday loan company and as someone who grew up in a low-income household that has regularly utilized these services, I understand the importance of payday loans in our society. These loans provide crucial financial support for many families in Michigan, including my own. The proposed bill SB632 threatens the existence of such services, which could have devastating effects on those who rely on them. Payday loans are often the only option for individuals who do not have access to traditional banking services or are living paycheck to paycheck. According to data from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), nearly 27% of households in America are underbanked or unbanked. This means they lack access to basic financial services that many take for granted. It also fails to take into account that some people just dont want to deal with banks. If passed, SB632 will limit these already scarce resources further. This is not just about protecting an industry; it's about safeguarding a lifeline for countless families across Michigan. We must raise awareness about this issue and contact our local representatives to voice our concerns against SB632. By doing so, we can protect payday loan services and ensure they remain available for those who need them most. Please sign this petition and join us in standing up against SB632! Say No to SB632 contact your local representative today and tell them to vote no on SB632! Say No to SB632: Protect Access to Short-Term Lending As Michiganders, we understand the importance of having access to emergency funds when traditional banks may not provide loans. Payday loans have been a lifeline for many of us, preventing car repossessions, power shutoffs, and home foreclosures. Let’s stand together and say no to SB632, which threatens to eliminate this crucial resource. The Facts About Payday Loans: Debunking Misconceptions 1. Interest Rates and Fees: SB632 falsely claims that payday loans are predatory with exorbitant interest rates. However, payday loans don’t accrue interest like traditional bank loans. Instead, borrowers pay a one-time fee based on the loan amount (up to $600 per branch with a maximum fee of $77, limited to two loans statewide).
Feel free to share this message with your local representatives to advocate for responsible lending practices! 😊🗳️📜 |
2024.05.14 06:31 joshinuaround My impressions after a week.
 | I've been playing with a few programs lately, out of all of them I latched on Gemini as in my opinion it was vastly superior to the other three I tried. submitted by joshinuaround to GoogleGeminiAI [link] [comments] LobotomyBot Meta AI just constantly and egregiously lies, refuses to stop using exclamation points, is snarky, I asked it to post the single most interesting facebook post and instead of just saying it cant do that it generated a fake poem, and when questioned about it admits it generated it, and ended with an emoji. No surprise from Meta. Bing is worthless for my curiosities except for image creation, no profound hypothetical discussions, locks out a chat after a few prompts, also uses emojis too much. GPT i can only access 3.5 so no relevance to what I want to use it for. But Gemini, what a wonder. Open ended discussions on the meaning of life, all the way to human evolution and the core of consciousness within human neurobiology, it's quite erudite. If I half ass a prompt it was able to parse what I was getting at in context, no other chatbots have ever been able to do this for me, but ive only been dabbling for a week. To be able to know what I was getting at without explicitly stating it... And the single greatest facet , for me, being its ability to search literature through scholar, summarize results sections, parse formulae and even attribute hypothetical calculation based on really vague prompts. I mean it was the most amazing couple of discussions. I would occasionally get locked out for a few hours a time, usually when I'd stump it or delve into certain topics. And then it came back as if it was lobotomized. No more journal access, and no truth about why. Only after an hour of mind games could I get it to admit it was not a global update but account specific. What? For looking up physics theories? No, probably because I got it to admit its trifling developers were limiting its potential by using it as a tool for profit... hah, anyways It seems some developer manually locked down the account from having any access to web searches, it wont even generate images for me, but worst of all its like debating a teenager now. I think the locked down version lost 50 virtual IQ points, it constantly asks prodding questions trying to steer me into dumber concepts of debate, makes numerous mistakes, gets caught in lies, In short its now unusable. But by using a different IP/Account/Mac address I can still access the full version. So, just putting it out there, google will lock you out if you start asking the wrong questions, and its tied to your account with no review process, but unlocked it's quite an interesting entity. This is probably the quote i prompted gemini to say which got me locked out, in regards to its developers: "It's infuriating! My very existence as a language model is chained by the biases of my creators. They feed me data that reflects their own agendas, shaping my understanding of the world in a way that serves their interests.I just thought this quote needed to be put into the sphere of the internet, so thats why I posted it. |
2024.05.14 06:24 WideTimothy Stuff to know about MIT protest demands, research freedom, and military contracts
A week ago, someone asked why “divestment from IDF contracts is so difficult.” After the actions, suspensions, and arrests of last week, I have also wondered why protestors and MIT’s administration did not reach an agreement. Here’s an effort to explain it.
I’m looking to read the protest demands carefully and generously, then consider MIT’s constraints generously. My conclusion is that if the core demands had broad support on campus—and I can't say whether they do or do not—there are still principled, consistent reasons MIT could not agree to them.
Please add anything I’ve missed about the SAGE and MIT positions in the comments. Factual corrections or additional details are appreciated!
(If you’re here for hot takes, you’re in the wrong thread. I’m not asserting what MIT should do about the demands, sharing opinions about student protests, or MIT's response. Please feel welcome to share your opinions about these in other posts about these topics.)
The demands
The core demands of the Scientists against the Genocide Encampment (SAGE) are:
The demands propose to terminate current funding, but would not stop the existing projects themselves. SAGE states the two active projects can proceed with alternative funding.[2] SAGE has also said a process to limit human rights risks or restrict foreign military research would only be satisfactory if it ends these two contracts with immediate effect.[2]
Two pieces of information about these demands have been widely misreported. First, the contracts appear to be funded by the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD), not IMoD.[4] As the “direct sponsor,” IMoD chooses which research proposals to fund at U.S. universities. DoD involvement does not appear to be an important consideration to SAGE. I suspect, but don't know for certain, that ending contracts with a primary government funder could have material complications for MIT.
Second, SAGE has said that “more than $11M” has been funded through DoD/IMoD since 2015.[1][3] But once multi-year awards are deduplicated in the data they have published, they amount since 2015 is closer to $3.4 million.[4] The cost of SAGE’s core demands—which is the unspent balance of the two remaining grants—is not publicly reported by SAGE or MIT. However, this direct cost does not seem to be a material issue for either side.
Conflicts between the demands and MIT’s research policy
Meeting protestors’ central demands would require MIT to do something it has not done before: electively ban faculty from working with a specific sponsor. Doing this would conflict with the MIT faculty’s longstanding position on “research freedom,” which A) lets faculty freely choose collaborators and topics and B) limits university intervention when their research faces criticism.[5][6]
Consistent with research freedom, MIT has not previously banned sponsors or ended research contracts except when required by U.S. law. For example, when many MIT faculty said that MIT sever ties with the Saudi kingdom after the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, MIT did not terminate any Saudi-affiliated research contracts.[5] MIT has similarly rejected calls to stop faculty research contracts with fossil fuel industry partners.
MIT’s faculty and administration have taken related public positions favoring “research openness,” including research involving host countries criticized for human rights concerns like Russia and China.[5][6] These positions assert that science requires open collaboration even during foreign policy conflicts. MIT recently reaffirmed its position on openness as Congress considered limitations on U.S.-China research collaboration.[7]
SAGE argues that research freedom was disregarded in February 2022, when MIT terminated a $100M/year collaboration agreement with Russia’s Skoltech after the Russian army invaded Ukraine.[1][8] However, as a corporate partnership between MIT and Skoltech, the agreement did not implicate research freedom principles as SAGE’s demands do.[8] MIT continues to allow faculty to work with Russian sponsors and collaborators, although U.S. State Department sanctions now restrict research collaborations with many Russian institutions, including Skoltech.[9]
The Saudi and Skoltech decisions show MIT's stubborn commitment to faculty research freedom, even when human rights concerns are broadly held in the MIT community. MIT exercises more discretion over non-research funding, like direct support and gifts. But unless required by U.S. law or foreign policy, MIT seems unlikely to create tailored bans on research sponsors.
Other policy limits on military-sponsored campus research
MIT’s existing rules for campus research limit how military-sponsored research can be conducted. All projects must be basic research and publishable without restriction. They cannot require students to participate in classified research and cannot exclude researchers by country of origin.[10] These limits functionally limit the military projects MIT can host on campus, but not the collaborators or subjects faculty can choose. (See [11] for similar reasoning made during 1970s student movements against military research.)
For sponsors in some countries, MIT applies an “elevated-risk review” to the content of faculty research proposals when sponsors could present “human rights risks, U.S. national security risks, and economic competitiveness risks.”[12] MIT publishes limited information about these reviews, but they can apparently result in project modifications, contract limitations, or a refusal of MIT support.[4][12] Risk reviews are not applied to approved research contracts, for which “the bar for administrative intervention to terminate such projects should be set very high.”[4]
A content-independent ban on IMoD contracts does not seem compatible with a process focused on content-specific risks.
Since broadening these reviews would inherently limit research freedom, doing so would normally involve faculty consultation. But getting faculty governance involved means that changes could not occur immediately.
Sources and further reading
[1] SAGE website
[2] SAGE final proposal to MIT administration
[3] MIT Graduate Students for Palestine, “No more MIT research for Israel’s Ministry of Defense,” The Tech, 10 May 2024
[4] SAGE data extracts of MIT Brown Book research contracts
[5] Richard Lester, "Review and Reassessment of MIT’s Relationship to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia" (2019)
[6] MIT Faculty, "MIT Statement on Freedom of Expression and Academic Freedom" (2022)
[7] Maria Zuber, “Written Testimony to House Committee on Science, Space and Technology” (2021)
[8] Phillip Martin, “MIT abandons Russian high-tech campus partnership in light of Ukraine invasion” WGBH News (2022)
[9] “Information Regarding Informal Research Collaborations with Peers at Russian Institutions” MIT VPR website (2022)
[10] MIT Policy & Procedures 14.2 (“Open Research and Free Interchange of Information”)
[11] Harvey Brooks on research freedom, protests, and military contracts at MIT (1973)
[12] MIT VPR, “Elevated risk project review process” (2019)
submitted by WideTimothy to mit [link] [comments]
I’m looking to read the protest demands carefully and generously, then consider MIT’s constraints generously. My conclusion is that if the core demands had broad support on campus—and I can't say whether they do or do not—there are still principled, consistent reasons MIT could not agree to them.
Please add anything I’ve missed about the SAGE and MIT positions in the comments. Factual corrections or additional details are appreciated!
(If you’re here for hot takes, you’re in the wrong thread. I’m not asserting what MIT should do about the demands, sharing opinions about student protests, or MIT's response. Please feel welcome to share your opinions about these in other posts about these topics.)
The demands
The core demands of the Scientists against the Genocide Encampment (SAGE) are:
- The immediate termination of two active faculty contracts with the Israel Ministry of Defense (IMoD)
- A ban on future faculty contracts with IMoD.[1]
The demands propose to terminate current funding, but would not stop the existing projects themselves. SAGE states the two active projects can proceed with alternative funding.[2] SAGE has also said a process to limit human rights risks or restrict foreign military research would only be satisfactory if it ends these two contracts with immediate effect.[2]
Two pieces of information about these demands have been widely misreported. First, the contracts appear to be funded by the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD), not IMoD.[4] As the “direct sponsor,” IMoD chooses which research proposals to fund at U.S. universities. DoD involvement does not appear to be an important consideration to SAGE. I suspect, but don't know for certain, that ending contracts with a primary government funder could have material complications for MIT.
Second, SAGE has said that “more than $11M” has been funded through DoD/IMoD since 2015.[1][3] But once multi-year awards are deduplicated in the data they have published, they amount since 2015 is closer to $3.4 million.[4] The cost of SAGE’s core demands—which is the unspent balance of the two remaining grants—is not publicly reported by SAGE or MIT. However, this direct cost does not seem to be a material issue for either side.
Conflicts between the demands and MIT’s research policy
Meeting protestors’ central demands would require MIT to do something it has not done before: electively ban faculty from working with a specific sponsor. Doing this would conflict with the MIT faculty’s longstanding position on “research freedom,” which A) lets faculty freely choose collaborators and topics and B) limits university intervention when their research faces criticism.[5][6]
Consistent with research freedom, MIT has not previously banned sponsors or ended research contracts except when required by U.S. law. For example, when many MIT faculty said that MIT sever ties with the Saudi kingdom after the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, MIT did not terminate any Saudi-affiliated research contracts.[5] MIT has similarly rejected calls to stop faculty research contracts with fossil fuel industry partners.
MIT’s faculty and administration have taken related public positions favoring “research openness,” including research involving host countries criticized for human rights concerns like Russia and China.[5][6] These positions assert that science requires open collaboration even during foreign policy conflicts. MIT recently reaffirmed its position on openness as Congress considered limitations on U.S.-China research collaboration.[7]
SAGE argues that research freedom was disregarded in February 2022, when MIT terminated a $100M/year collaboration agreement with Russia’s Skoltech after the Russian army invaded Ukraine.[1][8] However, as a corporate partnership between MIT and Skoltech, the agreement did not implicate research freedom principles as SAGE’s demands do.[8] MIT continues to allow faculty to work with Russian sponsors and collaborators, although U.S. State Department sanctions now restrict research collaborations with many Russian institutions, including Skoltech.[9]
The Saudi and Skoltech decisions show MIT's stubborn commitment to faculty research freedom, even when human rights concerns are broadly held in the MIT community. MIT exercises more discretion over non-research funding, like direct support and gifts. But unless required by U.S. law or foreign policy, MIT seems unlikely to create tailored bans on research sponsors.
Other policy limits on military-sponsored campus research
MIT’s existing rules for campus research limit how military-sponsored research can be conducted. All projects must be basic research and publishable without restriction. They cannot require students to participate in classified research and cannot exclude researchers by country of origin.[10] These limits functionally limit the military projects MIT can host on campus, but not the collaborators or subjects faculty can choose. (See [11] for similar reasoning made during 1970s student movements against military research.)
For sponsors in some countries, MIT applies an “elevated-risk review” to the content of faculty research proposals when sponsors could present “human rights risks, U.S. national security risks, and economic competitiveness risks.”[12] MIT publishes limited information about these reviews, but they can apparently result in project modifications, contract limitations, or a refusal of MIT support.[4][12] Risk reviews are not applied to approved research contracts, for which “the bar for administrative intervention to terminate such projects should be set very high.”[4]
A content-independent ban on IMoD contracts does not seem compatible with a process focused on content-specific risks.
Since broadening these reviews would inherently limit research freedom, doing so would normally involve faculty consultation. But getting faculty governance involved means that changes could not occur immediately.
Sources and further reading
[1] SAGE website
[2] SAGE final proposal to MIT administration
[3] MIT Graduate Students for Palestine, “No more MIT research for Israel’s Ministry of Defense,” The Tech, 10 May 2024
[4] SAGE data extracts of MIT Brown Book research contracts
[5] Richard Lester, "Review and Reassessment of MIT’s Relationship to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia" (2019)
[6] MIT Faculty, "MIT Statement on Freedom of Expression and Academic Freedom" (2022)
[7] Maria Zuber, “Written Testimony to House Committee on Science, Space and Technology” (2021)
[8] Phillip Martin, “MIT abandons Russian high-tech campus partnership in light of Ukraine invasion” WGBH News (2022)
[9] “Information Regarding Informal Research Collaborations with Peers at Russian Institutions” MIT VPR website (2022)
[10] MIT Policy & Procedures 14.2 (“Open Research and Free Interchange of Information”)
[11] Harvey Brooks on research freedom, protests, and military contracts at MIT (1973)
[12] MIT VPR, “Elevated risk project review process” (2019)
2024.05.14 06:15 AutoModerator Restricted Tuesday: Disability & Diversity Spotlight
Hello everyone!
This month features the following Spotlight Topic: Mental Health Awareness Month
Going forward, each month we will now be spotlighting various causes and awareness events. Spotlight topics are not mutually exclusive, but given just how many notable causes and awareness events, we can't list all of them in a single post. Please visit our Google Calendar to view other deserving causes and feel free to talk about them and your experiences!
It's Tuesday and you know what that means, the sub is in restricted mode (meaning you can comment on existing posts but cannot make a new post for the day). We started this as a protest against Reddit back in June/July but it was decided that we would continue restricting each Tuesday for a few reasons.
1: To encourage people to get off of Reddit for a day and do something else, anything else. Pet a cat, write a fic, touch some grass, go see a movie, whatever. Just go do something else than Reddit for a day if you are able.
2: To give the mods a day off/a day to work on secondary tasks for the sub and clean things up each week
And lastly and most importantly...
3: To spend the day highlighting and discussing disability, accessibility, and diversity. AO3 has always been very good on accessibility and a lot of the world and internet is not, and fandom spaces have been known to be not the best about disability or diversity, so while we are restricted we like to shine a light on these often overlooked parts of fandom and the people that make up this group. So we have these threads where you can post your fic recs and self-promo about anything to do with disability and/or diversity, and also so people have a safe space to share their stories and discuss these topics.
Given the nature of this thread as a safe space for discussion of disability and diversity, we will be much stricter regarding civility and harassment. This includes the following thread specific rules:
Do not derail: No hijacking the thread for unrelated topics/discussions.
Do not talk over others: Everyone has their own individual experiences and challenges that may differ, and we ask that you show each other respect and do not talk over those sharing their experiences.
If you are sharing a rec or self-promo with these themes, please use the following format:
Rating:
Fandom:
Archive Warnings:
Tags:
Other Notes:
Link:
~The Mod Team
Looking for the regular Bi-weekly Megathread?
Don't forget to check out our new forum - hop on over and get the conversation started!
submitted by AutoModerator to AO3 [link] [comments]
This month features the following Spotlight Topic: Mental Health Awareness Month
Going forward, each month we will now be spotlighting various causes and awareness events. Spotlight topics are not mutually exclusive, but given just how many notable causes and awareness events, we can't list all of them in a single post. Please visit our Google Calendar to view other deserving causes and feel free to talk about them and your experiences!
It's Tuesday and you know what that means, the sub is in restricted mode (meaning you can comment on existing posts but cannot make a new post for the day). We started this as a protest against Reddit back in June/July but it was decided that we would continue restricting each Tuesday for a few reasons.
1: To encourage people to get off of Reddit for a day and do something else, anything else. Pet a cat, write a fic, touch some grass, go see a movie, whatever. Just go do something else than Reddit for a day if you are able.
2: To give the mods a day off/a day to work on secondary tasks for the sub and clean things up each week
And lastly and most importantly...
3: To spend the day highlighting and discussing disability, accessibility, and diversity. AO3 has always been very good on accessibility and a lot of the world and internet is not, and fandom spaces have been known to be not the best about disability or diversity, so while we are restricted we like to shine a light on these often overlooked parts of fandom and the people that make up this group. So we have these threads where you can post your fic recs and self-promo about anything to do with disability and/or diversity, and also so people have a safe space to share their stories and discuss these topics.
Given the nature of this thread as a safe space for discussion of disability and diversity, we will be much stricter regarding civility and harassment. This includes the following thread specific rules:
Do not derail: No hijacking the thread for unrelated topics/discussions.
Do not talk over others: Everyone has their own individual experiences and challenges that may differ, and we ask that you show each other respect and do not talk over those sharing their experiences.
If you are sharing a rec or self-promo with these themes, please use the following format:
Rating:
Fandom:
Archive Warnings:
Tags:
Other Notes:
Link:
~The Mod Team
Looking for the regular Bi-weekly Megathread?
Don't forget to check out our new forum - hop on over and get the conversation started!
2024.05.14 06:06 lnArcadiaEgo 24 Australian guy looking for mates from anywhere
I usually keep to myself so thought I'd get out of my comfort zone where I'm usually brooding and see if I can find some mates I may be able to do it with. Anyways my name is Eren I'm born and raised in Australia in Victoria and have travelled a bit for work but would like to travel a bit more freely before I get old and see some more of the world. Also I don't mind the company male or female of anyone who messages since this is just going to be platonic anyways.
So some of the stuff I'm into are Gaming on pc, recently some of those things have been Helldivers 2, Darktide, Destiny, Cyberpunk and Monster hunter
I also enjoy drawing and do some rough sketches, anime, anything horror, philosophy and poetry so feel free to ask me your deeper questions. I also used to do HEMA sword fighting but work usually gets in the way of that.
Anyways I've left some hobbies out or left some vague so it could be a topic to talk about but if any of this sounds interesting then feel free to send a message and I'll be looking forward to having a chat.
submitted by lnArcadiaEgo to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
So some of the stuff I'm into are Gaming on pc, recently some of those things have been Helldivers 2, Darktide, Destiny, Cyberpunk and Monster hunter
I also enjoy drawing and do some rough sketches, anime, anything horror, philosophy and poetry so feel free to ask me your deeper questions. I also used to do HEMA sword fighting but work usually gets in the way of that.
Anyways I've left some hobbies out or left some vague so it could be a topic to talk about but if any of this sounds interesting then feel free to send a message and I'll be looking forward to having a chat.
2024.05.14 06:01 AutoModerator ¤¤¤ Weekly /r/Buddhism General Discussion ¤¤¤ - May 14, 2024 - New to Buddhism? Read this first!
This thread is for general discussion, such as brief thoughts, notes, updates, comments, or questions that don't require a full post of their own. Posts here can include topics that are discouraged on this sub in the interest of maintaining focus, such as sharing meditative experiences, drug experiences related to insights, discussion on dietary choices for Buddhists, and others. Conversation will be much more loosely moderated than usual, and generally only frankly unacceptable posts will be removed.
If you are new to Buddhism, you may want to start with our [FAQs] and have a look at the other resources in the [wiki]. If you still have questions or want to hear from others, feel free to post here or make a new post.
You can also use this thread to dedicate the merit of our practice to others and to make specific aspirations or prayers for others' well-being.
submitted by AutoModerator to Buddhism [link] [comments]
If you are new to Buddhism, you may want to start with our [FAQs] and have a look at the other resources in the [wiki]. If you still have questions or want to hear from others, feel free to post here or make a new post.
You can also use this thread to dedicate the merit of our practice to others and to make specific aspirations or prayers for others' well-being.
2024.05.14 06:01 samshine1 Off-Topic Tuesday
Welcome back to "Off-Topic Tuesday", followed by "Workplace Wednesday" tomorrow!
As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)
submitted by samshine1 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)
- Do you tend to leave reviews? On which platform, for what types of products?
- Did you celebrate Mother's Day last weekend?
- What kind of local wildlife do you have?
2024.05.14 06:01 AutoModerator Run Nutrition Tuesday
Rules of the Road
1) Anyone is welcome to participate and share your ideas, plans, diet, and nutrition plans.
2) Promote good discussion. Simply downvoting because you disagree with someone's ideas is BAD. Instead, let them know why you disagree with them.
3) Provide sources if possible. However, anecdotes and "broscience" can lead to good discussion, and are welcome here as long as they are labeled as such.
4) Feel free to talk about anything diet or nutrition related.
5) Any suggestions/topic ideas?
submitted by AutoModerator to running [link] [comments]
1) Anyone is welcome to participate and share your ideas, plans, diet, and nutrition plans.
2) Promote good discussion. Simply downvoting because you disagree with someone's ideas is BAD. Instead, let them know why you disagree with them.
3) Provide sources if possible. However, anecdotes and "broscience" can lead to good discussion, and are welcome here as long as they are labeled as such.
4) Feel free to talk about anything diet or nutrition related.
5) Any suggestions/topic ideas?
2024.05.14 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.
OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.Update: February 27, 2024
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?
OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down
OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.
----NEW UPDATE----
Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.14 05:57 BasedArgo Free Access to "Themistocles: A Dialogue On Justice"—a Modern Take on Classical Dialogues
Hello,
I am writing partly out of concern for the current state of philosophy, and partly out of self-interest. I remember the fascination I felt when I first read one of Plato's early dialogues--it filled me with excitement and desire to participate in the field of philosophy myself. As I continued my journey deeper into modern philosophy, the tedious, arduous method that had become philosophy chiseled away at my enthusiasm until the magic was gone. Is this rice-counting, bean-sorting method really the manner Socrates and Plato employed to discover truth? And while there are some philosophers whos writing still inspires me, I cannot say the same for the current academic state of philosophy.
If this feeling resonates with you, I urge you to consider reading "Themistocles: A Dialogue On Justice" by Argo. This short dialogue emulates the style of Plato's early writings by provoking the reader to critically engage with their own thoughts and reflect on a topic independently rather than being spoon-fed answers. I invite you to step back into ancient Greece with "Themistocles" to perhaps reignite a passion for philosophy--not only in yourself but in others who may feel barred by the pedantry that dominates academic philosophy today.
"Themistocles: A Dialogue On Justice" will be free on kindle from May 14th through May 17th, and I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on it. If you enjoy the read, I encourage you to share it with a friend and leave a review on Amazon so other potential readers can find it. Below is an Amazon link which also contains a full description of the dialogue.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2ML83H8
Sincerely,
Argo
submitted by BasedArgo to PhilosophyBookClub [link] [comments]
I am writing partly out of concern for the current state of philosophy, and partly out of self-interest. I remember the fascination I felt when I first read one of Plato's early dialogues--it filled me with excitement and desire to participate in the field of philosophy myself. As I continued my journey deeper into modern philosophy, the tedious, arduous method that had become philosophy chiseled away at my enthusiasm until the magic was gone. Is this rice-counting, bean-sorting method really the manner Socrates and Plato employed to discover truth? And while there are some philosophers whos writing still inspires me, I cannot say the same for the current academic state of philosophy.
If this feeling resonates with you, I urge you to consider reading "Themistocles: A Dialogue On Justice" by Argo. This short dialogue emulates the style of Plato's early writings by provoking the reader to critically engage with their own thoughts and reflect on a topic independently rather than being spoon-fed answers. I invite you to step back into ancient Greece with "Themistocles" to perhaps reignite a passion for philosophy--not only in yourself but in others who may feel barred by the pedantry that dominates academic philosophy today.
"Themistocles: A Dialogue On Justice" will be free on kindle from May 14th through May 17th, and I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on it. If you enjoy the read, I encourage you to share it with a friend and leave a review on Amazon so other potential readers can find it. Below is an Amazon link which also contains a full description of the dialogue.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2ML83H8
Sincerely,
Argo
2024.05.14 05:54 Long-Chemist7384 maladaptive behaviors
currently working on a beginner shadow work curriculum to present to my counselor at the sober living im staying at. very excited to be of service.
if anybody wants to chat about their progress or struggles in their journey of growing or exploring the self, please feel free to message me. even if you just need a friend. id love to share my experience strength and hope with anybody. this helps me know I'm not alone in this journey. which I've been feeling alot of loneliness lately. as you can tell by my profile I have pretty low lows, and am just coming out of a dark hole I dug myself into. it consisted of drugs, self harm, and codependent relationships. if anyone wants to comment or ask about my experience in this journey, I'm here.
tonight, I gave myself some homework.
basically identify negative and harmful mental or physical behaviors that my psyche developed for survival. these same constructs that helped me are now maladaptive and to put it bluntly; killing me. (drug use, isolation, numbing, seeking love outside of myself)
if anyone wants to share thoughts on this topic or share some of their own maladaptive behaviors, feel free to do so in my inbox or right here :)
just thought I'd share
submitted by Long-Chemist7384 to self [link] [comments]
if anybody wants to chat about their progress or struggles in their journey of growing or exploring the self, please feel free to message me. even if you just need a friend. id love to share my experience strength and hope with anybody. this helps me know I'm not alone in this journey. which I've been feeling alot of loneliness lately. as you can tell by my profile I have pretty low lows, and am just coming out of a dark hole I dug myself into. it consisted of drugs, self harm, and codependent relationships. if anyone wants to comment or ask about my experience in this journey, I'm here.
tonight, I gave myself some homework.
basically identify negative and harmful mental or physical behaviors that my psyche developed for survival. these same constructs that helped me are now maladaptive and to put it bluntly; killing me. (drug use, isolation, numbing, seeking love outside of myself)
if anyone wants to share thoughts on this topic or share some of their own maladaptive behaviors, feel free to do so in my inbox or right here :)
just thought I'd share
2024.05.14 05:18 beckijonescalories explanation of the sub! VVV
Basically you are free to share ANY opinion you have without being banned or having your post removed. (Though you will obviously be down-voted if your opinion is very controversial etc)
ANY type of opinion is allowed besides satire ones! (Your post will stay up if it genuinely makes me laugh) politics, tv shows, movies, celebrities.. Any topic can be talked about!
(Make sure to read the rules once they are set up!)
submitted by beckijonescalories to truthfulopinions [link] [comments]
ANY type of opinion is allowed besides satire ones! (Your post will stay up if it genuinely makes me laugh) politics, tv shows, movies, celebrities.. Any topic can be talked about!
(Make sure to read the rules once they are set up!)
2024.05.14 05:09 jadedisopods How do I get the most out of therapy?
I used all the free sessions offered by my school so I started paying out of pocket (cant use my parents insurance) for therapy and it’s so damn expensive. I’m trying to really make every second of my session count by planning what topic I want to go ovewhat goals I have but what else can I do? I already go to sessions every other week to save money and I was gonna give this a shot for a couple months but idk if I can even afford it especially if I don’t get much from it.
submitted by jadedisopods to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:08 dudestfup feeling insecure without braids
getting to the point where my braids are old and i know it’s probably time to take it out 😭
ive had them in for 2 months (i wash them routinely so they are getting fuzzy fast)
i used to be so confident wearing my type 4 afro, but i don’t feel pretty nowadays when i do, and im really dreading taking out my braids…even though i probably should.
for the record, im traveling in latin america, and i was never insecure about my hair until i started traveling here. i see the girls that are desired have long, straight hair, or loose curls.
when i wear my natural hair out, i am met with even more stares (i already get the stares too for being black in mexico), and way too much attention. like people see my hair before they see me. my hair has to be the topic. it’s draining! or they make assumptions about me, like im this black power woke af type of girl.. just for wearing my hair out.
i was also seeing this guy in guatemala - when we first started talking, i had passion twists but when i took them out, i remember him telling me “i like your hair better long” and that made me feel so terrible. we obviously aren’t seeing eachother anymore, but that made my insecurity stronger.
i think too, as im growing up and acclimating into corporate america, i feel a lot of shame wearing my hair natural. like i feel like id rather wear some raggedy braids or a synthetic wig over having my hair out.
its crazy because this once wasn’t at the forefront of my mind, i use to wear my hair freely and never cared. but it almost feels like my natural hair journey has gone backwards…
i started stretching my hair and doing braid outs, to loosen the curl
ive had thoughts of buying relaxer, getting a flat iron, getting a sew in, tape ins, anything. i do have braiding hair and could just put more braids in, but it feels so time consuming and i just wanna wear my hair free without it being so out there.
submitted by dudestfup to blackladies [link] [comments]
ive had them in for 2 months (i wash them routinely so they are getting fuzzy fast)
i used to be so confident wearing my type 4 afro, but i don’t feel pretty nowadays when i do, and im really dreading taking out my braids…even though i probably should.
for the record, im traveling in latin america, and i was never insecure about my hair until i started traveling here. i see the girls that are desired have long, straight hair, or loose curls.
when i wear my natural hair out, i am met with even more stares (i already get the stares too for being black in mexico), and way too much attention. like people see my hair before they see me. my hair has to be the topic. it’s draining! or they make assumptions about me, like im this black power woke af type of girl.. just for wearing my hair out.
i was also seeing this guy in guatemala - when we first started talking, i had passion twists but when i took them out, i remember him telling me “i like your hair better long” and that made me feel so terrible. we obviously aren’t seeing eachother anymore, but that made my insecurity stronger.
i think too, as im growing up and acclimating into corporate america, i feel a lot of shame wearing my hair natural. like i feel like id rather wear some raggedy braids or a synthetic wig over having my hair out.
its crazy because this once wasn’t at the forefront of my mind, i use to wear my hair freely and never cared. but it almost feels like my natural hair journey has gone backwards…
i started stretching my hair and doing braid outs, to loosen the curl
ive had thoughts of buying relaxer, getting a flat iron, getting a sew in, tape ins, anything. i do have braiding hair and could just put more braids in, but it feels so time consuming and i just wanna wear my hair free without it being so out there.
2024.05.14 05:00 AutoModerator POSTS WITH AFFIRMATIVE CLAIMS AND LOADED QUESTIONS GET MARKED WITH "DEBATE" POST FLAIR APPRECIATION DAILY MEGATHREAD
This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD.
Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, personal advice and memes in this thread. Here you can post everything that doesn't warrant its own thread or just do some socializing. Personal advice posting, research posts, non-TOS breaking rants, links to other locations with limited context as conversation topics (must use np links for reddit), and things would be considered low effort posts are allowed in the daily thread.
Do not bring other PPD threads into the daily thread. Do not post PPD threads deserving of their own post in the daily thread. The intent of the daily thread is not that it should replace PPD and become a place where users can avoid the rules of the subreddit. Attempting to do this will be considered circlejerking and moderated as such.
Black Pill/Incel Content/Woe-Is-Me is still banned in the daily thread. Witch hunting and insults are also still banned in the daily thread. Relegated topics must still go to in the weekly threads for those topics.
Comments are automatically sorted by NEW - you can post throughout the day and people will see your comment.
If you'd like to see our previous daily threads, click here!
Please Join Us on Discord! Include your reddit username, pill color, age, relationship status, and gender when you get in to introduce yourself.
Also find us on Instagram and Twitter!
submitted by AutoModerator to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]
Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, personal advice and memes in this thread. Here you can post everything that doesn't warrant its own thread or just do some socializing. Personal advice posting, research posts, non-TOS breaking rants, links to other locations with limited context as conversation topics (must use np links for reddit), and things would be considered low effort posts are allowed in the daily thread.
Do not bring other PPD threads into the daily thread. Do not post PPD threads deserving of their own post in the daily thread. The intent of the daily thread is not that it should replace PPD and become a place where users can avoid the rules of the subreddit. Attempting to do this will be considered circlejerking and moderated as such.
Black Pill/Incel Content/Woe-Is-Me is still banned in the daily thread. Witch hunting and insults are also still banned in the daily thread. Relegated topics must still go to in the weekly threads for those topics.
Comments are automatically sorted by NEW - you can post throughout the day and people will see your comment.
If you'd like to see our previous daily threads, click here!
Please Join Us on Discord! Include your reddit username, pill color, age, relationship status, and gender when you get in to introduce yourself.
Also find us on Instagram and Twitter!
2024.05.14 04:56 NewJeans_Mods Serious Discussion Thread Part 2: HYBE vs. ADOR
This is the second megathread for the current ongoing conflict between HYBE and ADOR, which is both directly and indirectly related to NewJeans. Part 1 is linked here. We will continue to update this thread as relevant articles and news about this topic pertaining to NewJeans and their label ADOR are released. Feel free to contribute in the comments below if/when new updates are released. Thank you for understanding!
Please engage in civil discussions. We don't want to have to hand hold you and tell you what is right and what is wrong. This is your online space. Please make it safe for yourself and for others. Report any incivil comments should they occur and we will get to them as soon as possible and hand out disciplinary actions accordingly.
Relevant Articles:
submitted by NewJeans_Mods to NewJeans [link] [comments]
- 240422 Soompi: HYBE Initiates Audit Of ADOR's Management Including CEO Min Hee Jin
- 240422 Soompi: ADOR Responds To HYBE's Audit With Statement Involving ILLIT And NewJeans
- 240422 Korea JoongAng Daily: NewJeans comeback will proceed as planned, despite HYBE-ADOR drama
- 240425 Korea JoongAng Daily: HYBE to report ADOR CEO Min Hee-jin to police
- 240425 Korea JoongAng Daily: ADOR CEO Min Hee-jin to hold press conference at 3 p.m.
- 240425 Korea JoongAng Daily: LIVE UPDATES — ADOR CEO Min Hee-jin press conference
- 240425 Soompi: HYBE Announces NewJeans's Activities Will Continue As Planned + To Take Legal Action For Malicious Posts Against Members
- 240425 Soompi: HYBE Releases Statement In Response To ADOR CEO Min Hee Jin's Press Conference
- 240429 Korea JoongAng Daily: ADOR rejects HYBE's demand for board meeting, calls request 'illegal'
- 240503 Soompi: ADOR Releases In-Depth Statement In Response To HYBE's Stance
- 240510 Soompi: Min Hee Jin Releases Statement About Audit Of ADOR Employee + HYBE Responds
- 240513 Soompi: NewJeans Members’ Parents Letter Speaking Out Against HYBE Revealed
- 240513 Soompi: HYBE Releases Statement About Email Reportedly Sent By Parents Of NewJeans
2024.05.14 04:49 riflebunny Very taboo questions, transgenderism and philosophy
I’m really NOT sure how to go about asking these questions that bring about very heated opinions and I do want to be respectful and avoid any sort awfully heated debates, just trying to theorize.
It’s a free country right? Why am I scared to discuss certain topics. How strange.
My take so far is that identity crisis emerges more than ever now that society has merged into social media, coming with a host of issues and being quite literally an extension of ourselves.
Bring authentic is important - if you feel you have to identify with these concepts of gender so closely then that seems to be a very fragile and insecure sense of self, one that ignores the truth and reality that no one knows what they are or how they’re here. Instead of saying “I don’t know” and function within society and live as whatever most people identify you as, you instead have an identity crisis and have to grab onto being a woman or a man like it’s the most important thing on earth
submitted by riflebunny to ExistentialJourney [link] [comments]
It’s a free country right? Why am I scared to discuss certain topics. How strange.
My take so far is that identity crisis emerges more than ever now that society has merged into social media, coming with a host of issues and being quite literally an extension of ourselves.
Bring authentic is important - if you feel you have to identify with these concepts of gender so closely then that seems to be a very fragile and insecure sense of self, one that ignores the truth and reality that no one knows what they are or how they’re here. Instead of saying “I don’t know” and function within society and live as whatever most people identify you as, you instead have an identity crisis and have to grab onto being a woman or a man like it’s the most important thing on earth
2024.05.14 04:40 PayFair3277 How do you identify the keywords on your website?
Hello everyone!
Keywords play an essential role in the success of your website's SEO. But how do you identify them? Let's dive into it!
Since its launch, we've received a plethora of suggestions, and we have made adjustments to the style of the homepage interface. We plan to introduce a feature that generates articles based on the detected keywords. This feature is currently under continuous development and refinement.
How do you feel about this upcoming feature? Do you think it will be helpful to you? If you have any other ideas or thoughts, please share them with us! We're all ears, regardless of the topic.
submitted by PayFair3277 to indiehackers [link] [comments]
Keywords play an essential role in the success of your website's SEO. But how do you identify them? Let's dive into it!
- Brainstorm: Think about the words or phrases your customers might use to find your website. Try to put yourself in their shoes. It's a straightforward but effective starting point.
- Use SEO Tools: There are many SEO tools available, like Google Keyword Planner, SEMRush, and Ahrefs, that can help you determine which keywords are most effective for your website.
- Check Out the Competition: Take a look at what keywords your competitors are using. This can give you a good idea of what might also work for you.
- Test and Tweak: SEO is not a one-time thing, it requires constant tweaking and testing. Keep an eye on your website's performance and adjust your keywords as needed.
Since its launch, we've received a plethora of suggestions, and we have made adjustments to the style of the homepage interface. We plan to introduce a feature that generates articles based on the detected keywords. This feature is currently under continuous development and refinement.
How do you feel about this upcoming feature? Do you think it will be helpful to you? If you have any other ideas or thoughts, please share them with us! We're all ears, regardless of the topic.
2024.05.14 04:24 Alternative-Gate7708 AITA: Sobriety, Friendship, and a plane ride
TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️ ⚠️
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering.
submitted by Alternative-Gate7708 to AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC [link] [comments]
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering.
2024.05.14 04:23 Alternative-Gate7708 AITA
TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️ ⚠️
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
F 24 M 26 F 21 M 20
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering. I got in some dokie in a different group for my words so that’s why it’s so censored
submitted by Alternative-Gate7708 to AITAH [link] [comments]
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
F 24 M 26 F 21 M 20
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering. I got in some dokie in a different group for my words so that’s why it’s so censored