Years ago I read a quote that hit me hard: “Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment”, an aphorism attributed to Dr. Kerr L. White.
The example I read was that of a physician who when making poor decisions is likely to experience more disease and complications, and through those experiences develop better judgment. I also recognize it would come at extremely high cost and am under the assumption that residencies exist and help in controlling risk while building muscle memory.
Is there any solid argument of exception or is it just an immutable truth?

So for context, me and my ex had quite a rocky relationship, she did a lot of things that I probably shouldn’t have forgiven her for.
After we’d been talking for 3 months she tried to get back together with her ex, but then decided to stay with me because she thought me and her would last longer than her and her ex (not because she like me more or anything) and I should’ve broken up with her then but she didn’t tell me until like another 6 months later and she seemed remorseful and the reason she didn’t was because I struggled to show affection for her since this was my first ever relationship and her ex would always treat her better than I did, but rather than telling me this she went back to her ex and that really hurt.
Also she would always try to leave me for literally anything like she would overthink a lot like for example she thought that I was just using her and that I didn’t actually love her (obviously not true) and then decide that we should break up and I’d always try to comfort her and tell her that her worries were not true and that I loved her and wanted to be with her.
I know that I struggled to show affection at the start but when she finally admitted that she didn’t feel appreciated I did my absolute best to show my affection and appreciation and I would always buy her flowers and her favourite drinks and she still kept leaving me and I would always beg for her to stay and I hate myself for it.
She would often say how she missed her relationship with her ex because he treated her better and she told me quite often how she would hate me and wished she never spoke to me again but when I begged for her to not leave me then she said she ‘got over it’s and stuff and it genuinely made me feel like shit and she would keep doing it and I just don’t understand how she could do all of these things to me and yet whenever I see her I get so sad and I wish that we were still talking or together or something.
Surely if she did all these things to me then I should be glad she’s gone and it should be easy for me to move on but it’s not and I don’t understand why I still love her despite everything she’s done. Before we broke up I sent her a long text telling her everything she’s done to make me feel like shit (I had told her before but we were having an argument so I brought it up) and she said “how could you love someone who did these things to you” and also “if it wasn’t me who did those things then I’d say that person is horrible” and those words are ringing through my head like how tf can I still have feelings for someone who did that to me I don’t understand is there something wrong with me? A bit of a rant but I’m not emotionally stable right now

"The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve" by G. Edward Griffin is a controversial book that digs into the history, activities, and purported evil intents of the Federal Reserve System in the United States.
Griffin analyzes the beginnings of the Federal Reserve, focusing on the secret meeting held on Jekyll Island in 1910 where powerful bankers and politicians formulated the idea for the central banking system. He contends that the Federal Reserve was founded to benefit a tiny group of powerful elites at the expense of the broader population, citing examples of financial crises, inflation, and government manipulation of the economy.
The book explores several facets of the Federal Reserve, including its structure, functions, and impact on monetary policy and the economy. Griffin highlights worries about the Fed's ability to generate money out of thin air, its role in perpetuating debt and inflation, and its control over government and financial organizations.
Readers who are critical of the Federal Reserve and central banking regimes generally appreciate "The Creature from Jekyll Island" for its comprehensive research and startling observations. Griffin offers a persuasive argument against the Federal Reserve, building on historical data and economic theory to back his views.
However, the book has also drawn criticism for its conspiratorial tone and selective use of evidence. Some economists and researchers say that Griffin's interpretation of events is prejudiced and lacks clarity, missing the nuances of monetary policy and the Federal Reserve's role in stabilizing the economy.
Overall, "The Creature from Jekyll Island" is a thought-provoking read that questions traditional beliefs on the Federal Reserve and central banking. While it may not offer a balanced or full view of the issues, it highlights fundamental questions about the nature of money, power, and government in modern society. Readers interested in understanding other perspectives on monetary policy and the financial system may find benefit in investigating Griffin's theories, but it's necessary to approach the book with a critical eye and examine alternate viewpoints.
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So... I stumbled across this thread after listening to a podcast with Chris Van Tulleken and further researching his book etc.
To start with I thought it was a good idea for my health, I already did a lot of home cooking but I've been swapping bread and cutting out UPF drinks / snacks etc...
However, I'm starting to feel anxiety about it. Shopping takes forever because I'm reading all the ingredients - for example a recipe might say fish sauce or soy sauce or wraps for fajitas or sundried tomatoes etc etc and I'm really struggling to find things with absolutely no upf ingredients and I'm googling them to check if I can have it.
Then when I go out, to a restaurant or to a friends house and they make me something, I am anxious because how do I know if it's safe? I can't join in with people when out and about.
Is this stumbling into disordered eating territory? Was I more healthy when I wasn't looking out for all these things? For reference I am not overweight (I don't know if this matters but I know that part of the argument is that UPF foods are addictive and cause obesity?) Or is it more the cancers and things they cause I should worry about?
I know I am asking random people on the internet lol. I just wondered if anyone was having similar experiences or thoughts?
Thanks!

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Apologies in advance for the essay…
For context, I live in London in a new build complex of apartments. The flats are modern, come with many amenities (gym, cinema room, work spaces, entertainment etc), attract working professionals, require extensive background referencing / salary requirements and are certainly NOT cheap. I moved here just under a year ago and my first two weeks here were bliss. That was until the couple from hell moved in above me.
At first it just seemed like they were totally oblivious to how loud they were, rather than anything untoward. But it was, and continues to be, bad. Words can’t convey the extent but I’m talking 24/7 banging and stamping, thudding, putting a blender on at 2am (the lack of common sense is astounding?!), music blasting, tv blaring, jumping up and down, dropping shit, slamming doors to only reopen them a minute later and repeat, dragging furniture around at 3am, irregular annoying tapping (I suspect uneven furniture of some sort), loud sex in the shower, toilet going off every 2 minutes all night, being woken to hammering and drilling at 6am, light switches on/off every two seconds, blinds rolling up and down 30x a night (I suspect to smoke out the window, which isn’t allowed), basically non stop noise of some variety - bad enough at the best of times but even worse when this is at its peak between 11pm-4am. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Impossible to sleep through.
I obv get their names and gather intel. They are a Colombian couple, look to be 30ish. He is a PhD student and she does not work, she stays home all day watching tv while aimlessly doing non stop laps of the flat. Wish I was exaggerating when I say she never leaves but she has quite literally never not been in. No job, no hobbies, no friends, so no reason to leave. Food shops get delivered and I imagine he picks up anything else she wants when he goes out to uni / placement. No mental health issues at play as far as I can tell before anyone comes for me.
They stay up all night and take naps during the day (alternating, so one is always up at all times), but once that clock hits 11pm it’s go time for the worst behaviour. This goes on every night until around 4am when she finally has a nap. BUT he gets up at 6/7am and wakes me straight back up. For 11 months I have not had more than 3hrs sleep a night and I am really struggling. Physically and mentally. I also do sports and compete regularly on weekends, many competitions of which I’ve had to pull out of last minute due to sheer exhaustion and so I’m often losing money as a result. But this isn’t just a night time problem, it continues throughout the entire day too. On top of the sleep deprivation I also can’t work from home properly anymore or take meetings in peace (I do a mix of office and wfh). It literally NEVER stops.
Once it began affecting my general health / work / sports comps, I politely complained to the building staff who sent multiple (gentle) reminders to them to respect volume levels after 11pm. In fairness, they would tone it down for the day in question but then they’d just resume the following day. I had thought after getting in trouble for noise they would have used their common sense but alas they doubled down. It seemed like they genuinely didn’t understand that it wasn’t socially acceptable to do these things in the middle of the night. Like you needed to remind them daily that it was in fact 2/3/4 in the morning and spell out that they needed to shut up. So I carried on complaining. Nothing changed.
After a few months, night security eventually lost it with them so it FINALLY got through to them that they needed to lower the volume of the tv / music permanently, not just as a one off thing (they still have it on 24/7, just quieter late at night and daytime remains full volume). But that is the least of my issues. I’d rather them sit still and watch tv than listen to them stamping about about for hours on end.
The rest of the issues spiralled… Instead of coming home after a long day at work to peace, I was coming home to escalating levels of stress and sleep deprivation. I resorted to dropping the polite approach - a combination of screaming through the roof / banging the ceiling / calling security became my new daily routine. I didn’t give a fuck, I was exhausted. I was even putting on weight because I had no energy to exercise anymore. If ever I went away for a weekend I’d come back to it twice as bad because they had had free rein while I was gone and hadn’t had their ‘reminder’. This is grown adults we’re talking about. I was hoping they’d find the banging annoying (as a small taster of what I was enduring from them) and stop. In fact they seemed to either just ignore it, acting under the assumption it was directed at another flat and carried on, stamped back like a child in protest, or they would scream ‘shut up, what is wrong with you?’. The irony. They also recorded me banging and showed security next time they were spoken to, acting like they were victims being bothered by me. Like are you honestly that stupid?? How can you be that self centred and unaware. I’m not banging at nothing, I’m literally banging at you to stop??!! 🤯
Despite me pretty much having a breakdown and crying in front of the building staff, they gave up after a while as all requests to be quiet were just being ignored. They noted how they’d helped with the tv / music but in regard to the other issues, said they can’t stop them “moving” (eye roll 😒) and that they “might be working at night” (good joke, glad the same sympathy is extended to those of us who actually work and need sleep). Quite frankly ‘the other issues’ are the worst part as it’s impossible to sleep while someone is stamping above your head 100x over at 4am, whereas you can semi drown out tv noise. I just want them to go to sleep during normal hours. I know you can’t force someone to stop moving but if they just laid down for more than the current 2hr period of 4-6am (the only time where the both of them stop), I could maybe grin and bear the rest. Sometimes I don’t even get the two hours, last night I could hear ongoing thudding up until I eventually passed out at 5.30am. For reference, I don’t even go to bed early. Most of my friends are early campers clocking out at 9pm, whereas I’m more of a night owl and generally go to sleep at 12 on weekdays / 1 on weekends so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable asking for quiet from midnight. I need to get up at 7 myself for work.
I’ve honestly never known anything like it, they don’t sit down and chill EVER. I think a party house would honestly be easier to deal with as that noise is generally contained to a time period. This is non stop stamping and thudding at every hour of every day (no more than 10 seconds break at any given time). The stamping alone is louder than the combined volume of my tv, dishwasher and washing machine on at the same time, so you can imagine how bad it sounds at night. Imagine being almost asleep then abruptly woken by ‘BANG, BANG, BANG’. On repeat. Every few minutes. It’s torture. I also find myself screaming ‘make a fucking decision’ as they repeatedly slam the doors and cupboards open/closed, turn the lights on/off, blinds up/down. It’s like when dogs can’t decide whether they want to go outside or not, so come in and out non stop but after a while you end up just locking the door and refusing the choice because it’s irritating af, but 1000x more annoying. I suspect since she doesn’t leave and therefore doesn’t exercise, this is why she never stops pacing back and forth, to get some steps in? Because otherwise wtf are you doing that requires this much walking in a tiny studio flat??? I don’t know a single human that isn’t either on their phone, reading or watching tv (quietly), either laid in bed or sat on the sofa if they’re awake in the early hours. Why can’t they just sit down?
At this point, the sound of them in any capacity literally boils my blood. I see red the second I hear them. I have little care whether she’s stomping about in the day time (in which yes, I know technically they can do as they please) or whether they’re both going at it in the nighttime. I’ve had enough. How did these jobless idiots even pass referencing? I have had inconsiderate neighbours in the past but they have always left the house at some point so you get a break from it, whereas I think what makes this situation so much harder is that there’s absolutely no respite.
While I genuinely believe they were initially oblivious to how annoying they are, a lot of it has since become malicious and intentional (likely out of revenge). One of their new favourites is blasting the tv max volume at 6am, but only on long enough to wake me up, then quickly turning it down before security can come. Similar with the banging and jumping in which they do things sporadically so that it’s impossible for me to capture on video for evidence unless I record 24/7. She seems quite manipulative too. I’ve been told from staff that she protested ‘she is a small skinny girl who couldn’t possibly make loud stamping noises’ and that she is only walking “normally” (lies, if you’ve lived below someone like this you come to know exactly when they’re intentionally stamping like a dick vs walking normally). And yes, she really played the ‘I’m just a girl’ card. Other examples incl. her refusing to answer the door to security and telling reception if she wants to play loud music when she showers she will do just that (another of her fav antics - nothing like trying to take a work meeting and not being able to hear anything because Leona Lewis ‘bleeding love’ is blasting through the roof). She also regularly turns the lights off and winds the blinds down as soon as security come knocking, proceeds to pretend she was asleep and blames other flats. Unfortunately security tend to believe her when she does this despite me hearing her covering her tracks in real time.
It’s been heavily hinted that they are staying on for a second year (I am livid the building won’t deal with them) and I’ve spent the past week in tears, considering everything in detail…
I know they are Colombian so I accept there may be some cultural differences at play here particularly with the noise and late evenings, but imo the majority of this is just common sense of how not to behave when you live in a flat? I can’t comprehend being that selfish. I have a guy beneath me who is constantly high so probably unaware of what I’m doing, but if I need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night I still tip toe because I’m conscious IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and I know he’s trying to sleep beneath me. It’s just basic manners to not be running about non stop in the early hours when you have neighbours in such close proximity and when flats in the UK have paper thin ceilings 🙃 what is it going to take for them to understand that this is not socially acceptable?
I did also wonder in the early days if the insanely late nights were perhaps due to jet lag / being on South American time. However, I then heard him speak (he is definitely British born, no hint of an accent, so likely just Colombian heritage) so that doesn’t really align. She appears to be Colombian born as she has a heavy accent and they speak to each other in Spanish, but it’s almost been a year now so I don’t accept it as a plausible excuse anymore. Is it honestly normal in Colombia to go to bed this late, and by late im talking AFTER 4am? And to therefore not care whether you’re preventing other people sleeping who need to be up for work? If I was told I was stopping someone sleeping I would be so overly conscious of what I was doing and make every effort to stop.
But most intriguingly, I’ve also been thinking a lot about why she doesn’t leave the flat. For those wondering how I know she hasn’t, ofc there is a very small chance she may have left at some point when I’ve been out but over the past year I have (a) rotated my office / wfh schedule weekly so it’s never the same, (b) switched up my exercise sessions on an ongoing basis / not gone at all, (c) actively tested all hours of all days repeatedly across the entire year to work out when she’s not in to only conclude she’s always there (yes, I’m that desperate for a break from her), and (d) I’ve also been ill at various points of the year and so stuck inside myself to know this is probable fact. Not once has she not been there when I’ve been in, she’s the first bang I hear every morning and last thud I hear every night. I hear her doing something literally every ten seconds so it’s not like she could have even quickly nipped to Starbucks and I just didn’t realise. As I mentioned before, I don’t think her not leaving her home is any sort of mental health issue. But is it perhaps more normal than I think in Colombia for a 30y old (childless) female to have zero interest in working / hobbies / friends, to not do anything with their life other than be an annoyance to others, to never leave their house so long as the boyf is bringing money home?? To me, and by UK standards, that is very strange behaviour for someone who appears healthy / wealthy / young, and it’s borderline suspicious given all the context. She comes across as smug and selfish, not like she’s struggling in any way. Even if I didn’t need to work for whatever reason and my partner was happy to be the sole source of income, I would be spending my days out and about doing things, not rotting inside four walls. I also would be making the most of the gym and free amenities if I had all that spare time. What’s the actual point of living in London if you only stay indoors? You might as well get a big house outside the city if you never plan to leave it, as you get a lot more for your £.
I find it more bizarre however that he affirms this behaviour and seems oblivious to how weird it all is. He is clearly a dick too, but it definitely seems to be mostly her in terms of the sheer selfishness and lack of normal etiquette. He’s well educated, living in an expensive home (tbh unsure how they’re funding this on a PhD salary but I get the impression they come from wealthy families so likely have support), he looks well dressed, he appears to be British born so no cultural misunderstanding from his part, so why does he accept some lazy partner (they seem wildly incompatible) and her borderline feral behaviour as acceptable? Why has he not told her to stop if people are constantly complaining? How does he sleep through it? Why does he not think it’s weird she never leaves their home? Even more strange when you know they’re both cramped in a studio flat (usually rented by single people, they could have got a 1 bed instead?), that would be all the more reason to get out imo as you’re constantly on each others toes with no personal space. My family and friends have suggested perhaps she is here illegally which at first I thought was just a ridiculous prospect but honestly as it reaches a year of her hiding indoors, I’m beginning to wonder myself if that may be the case (there’s also no trace of her online, just him).
I’m not sure how I can last another year, I need her to leave so I get a break. I know everyone will say just move but I feel like why should I have to? The London rental market is brutal; why should I lose my home and have to downgrade / potentially end up paying even more, when I’m not the problem.

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Hello, and welcome to our Weekly RP Advice Thread.
The purpose of this Thread is to provide some basic guidelines for using this sub and roleplaying here, as well as allow everybody to engage in Meta discussion about the subreddit itself, such as asking for feedback about your posts or sharing some suggestions with the Mod team.
With that out of the way, here are some basic roleplaying guidelines in no particular order:

• Pokémon Universe: Whenever you are posting on this sub, you should ask yourself "Is this story about Pokémon? Could this story only take place in the Pokémon universe?". Remember, no matter how interesting of a story you tell with your RP, people ultimately come here for Pokémon, not for your OCs.
• Stay Grounded: At its core, this subreddit is primarily intended for slice-of-life style content. More high-concept stories are allowed, but should be used sparingly and carefully. This guideline should be taken together with the "Pokémon Universe" guideline - yes, alternate dimensions and time travel and the like all canonically exist in the franchise, but only peripherally. Direct interaction with these concepts is rare, and should generally be treated as a big deal, not something to be done on a whim. The same goes for using Legendary and Mythical Pokémon in a post (having your character own such a Pokémon is especially frowned upon).
• Main Character Syndrome: When coming up with a character to roleplay as, people have a nasty tendency to make their character so competent and powerful and special that they immediately monopolize all the attention in any given story, bending the narrative around themselves rather than being part of it. It's essentially the classic playground attitude of "Well, i have a magic shield that makes me completely invincible, and a magic wand that lets me kill anyone in the world at any time, so i win!". Please try as hard as you can to avoid this. Give your character flaws, weaknesses, and limitations.
• Provide Context: We all love to RP, but keep in mind that, statistically speaking, 90% of everyone who reads one of your posts has never seen or read any of your posts before. Therefore, even if a post is part of an ongoing storyline, you should make sure that a complete newcomer to the sub can understand what's going on based on just that one post. For example: If your character's Pokémon all have nicknames, you should clarify what species they are somewhere in the post, otherwise nobody will be able to picture the story you're trying to tell.
• Don't Say No: The first rule of improv is that you should never simply say "No, that's not true.". That just shuts down the conversation. Instead, try saying something like "Yes, that's true, but...". Of course, this doesn't mean you can't disagree or argue, but try to actually address the other person's arguments instead of just dismissing them.
• Don't Butt In On Other's Storylines: If a Post Flair contains the word "Storyline", that means it's part of an ongoing storyline. You may create your own posts to tie-in to that storyline, but you must first ask the User who started the storyline for permission.
• Remember We're Still on Reddit: This is not an active "play-by-post" narrative RP forum where we actively Pokémon battle each other in the comments or play out conversations with our team members in real time on one post. Every comment should realistically be written "after the action" when your character actually has a moment to sit down on their PC or whip out their phone to make a comment or shitpost online. To put it simply, ask yourself "Is this actually something that someone might post on social media?".
• Don't play to the audience. Play for yourself: Tell the story you have because you want to tell it. If you put fame and clicks above that, the story will quickly lose its essence and charm. Writing is a form of expression, not a shortcut to fame. Express yourself because it's what you want, not to be popular.
• Play ball with others: Roleplay is a collaborative effort. For others to respect your lore, you should play bal with theirs. Remember to "yes, and" interactions as well as making yours open-ended. Be receptive to change, and keep the story moving so that everyone can participate.
• Avoid stories/characters that can't change: Digging your heels in on one idea discourages engagement. It breeds invisible frustration when interacting with a story that refuses to change no matter the input. This is a collaborative medium. Other people's influence shouldn't change your ideas entirely, but there should still feel like there is feedback. Cooperate. Simple as that. Play with others, and let yourself be influenced as you influence them.

Now, these guidelines are all subjective, so we won't be enforcing them as strictly as Rules, but we do reserve the right to remove posts that we feel are not even attempting to conform to these.
How to make posts:

• Use this website to create fake Tweets: https://www.tweetgen.com/
• This for Discord screenshots: https://superemotes.com/fake-discord-message-maker
• This for other websites: https://fakeinfo.net/
• Text Posts are not allowed. For longer posts with a lot of text, you can write them on Tumblr, save them as a draft (or just actually publish the post, doesn't really matter), and then take screenshots of it.

If you have any suggestions for other guidelines we could add to future RP Advice Threads, or even any other suggestions for us in general, please leave them below.

We're all familiar with the Logical Problem of evil:

Premise 1: If an omnipotent, all-loving god existed he wouldn't allow evil and suffering to permeate in the world.
Premise 2: There's a bunch of evil and suffering
Conclusion: An omnipotent, all-loving god does not exist.

Pretty old stuff. The argument has existed for a while and so naturally the church has a response. The default Christian response is that "Sure, god could prevent evil but he has some good reason not to." This is where theodicies come in. Theodicies are arguments explaining why God would allow evil and suffering to exist, but the problem is that most of them are incompatible with observable truths in the bible and in reality. My point with this post is to prove that the logical problem of evil stands as a logically coherent refutation of Christianity because the theodicies that attempt to refute the problem of evil fail in doing so. To do this I'll bring up the most popular theodicies and dissect them one by one, attempting to prove them each wrong.
The first theodicy I'll bring up: Evil exists to bring about higher order goods.
For example goods like bravery couldn't exist without evils like danger. This one I think is easily the least convincing because the argument is that god could create a world without suffering, but chooses not to in order to facilitate some higher order good, as if to say a world with the higher goods that can only exist with evil and suffering is better than a world with no evil and suffering at all.
We can prove this to be untrue by looking at the bible itself. Specifically the first few chapters. Before the fall of man(whether you believe genesis to be an allegory or not) mankind had no knowledge of good or evil. The world had no evil in it and god had no problem with this state of affairs (Genesis 1:31).
If god truly believed that the world would be a better place with evil in it in order to facilitate higher order goods than he would have made it that way from the jump.
You can also refute this theodicy logically. For an example scenario: curing cancer is a good that could not exist without cancer, but a world without cancer is significantly better than a world with it.
The Second Theodicy: God allows evil because without it, we would have no concept of good.
This argument states that evil is to good what shadow is to light; the former is simply an absence of the latter and one cannot be appreciated without the other, or, as put by C.S Lewis: "A man has no concept of a straight line unless he has seen a crooked one."
This isn't as much of a slam dunk as it sounds like on first glance once you consider that before the fall of man we had neither a concept of good nor evil. In an ideal state of affairs god was totally cool with us having no concept of good and since he actively discouraged Adam and Eve from committing the original sin, one can even argue he actively didn't want them to have such a concept.
Lastly but most importantly the theodicy I've been purposely putting off to the very end: The free will theodicy
As implied by it's name, the free will theodicy states that god lets evil and suffering happen out of a respect for our free will. After all, is someone truly good if they had no choice but to be?
This instantly fails the moment you can conclusively disprove free will, which I will attempt to do for the third time on this subreddit (I think I've solidified my argument now):
Premise 1: All physical things are governed by the laws of cause and effect.
Premise 2: The Brain is, among other things, the organ in charge of making choices.
Premise 3: The brain is a physical thing.
Conclusion: Your choices are governed by the laws of cause and effect, and thus have causal chains that will eventually terminate outside yourself. Eliminating the possibility of free will.
And with that I believe I have disproved the common refutations of the logical problem of evil and, consequently, disproved the existence of an all-powerful, all-loving god. Thank you.

Hello /escapefromtarkov community -
What a weekend.
We need to remind the community of some of our rules, why they exist, and our enforcement process for them. Any modifications to our ruleset will be done as soon as we can, but these are considered enforceable immediately.
The bullshit events that have occurred over the last few days have brought in a ton of new accounts, and people who have no idea what our rule set is. There are also a number of things that people are assuming are OK but are still absolutely not, so lets dive in.
​

• Rule 1 - Unrelated Discussions
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• Single-Player Tarkov - we still are trying to figure this one out.
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We still aren't thrilled about this situation with the game. Even with the changes that have been announced, they are married to non-committal dates, nebulous statements about full release, and silly perspectives on WHY this community is upset. To add insult to injury, the most abusable 'features' aren't even being addressed.
This moderation team isn't full of career reddit neckbeard mods. Most of us regularly play, most of us regularly grind, most of us want this game to be successful because it is STILL the single-best loot extraction shooter available. We are all excited to see what else may come to the market, but Escape from Tarkov is still an awesome game. It's too bad the company that runs it has done what they have done in the last few days.
What we care most about is access to this subreddit, and the safety of the community.
See you in-raid (maybe).
Thanks,
Your subreddit moderation team
^{Additionally, we are excited to announce a new feature! If you are in an argument with another redditor on our sub, you can now summon a moderator to instantly Gift them Reddit Unheard Edition the other redditor will receive instant access to our non-DLC feature of being unheard as they will not be able to post or comment. It only costs $249.99 which is a bargain. /s}

I will posit that most "Christians" do not truly follow their Christ, bit instead use their faith as a crutch to give their life meaning a purpose. They know what they should do, how they should act, but consistently choose another path without recognizing that the path they walk is contrary to the example Jesus left for his followers.
Christianity is very much a religion of duality; if you are not actively following/pursuing Christ, then you are following Satan. Christians call this being deceived by Satan or a multitude of other things.
Jesus taught his disciples to attend to the needs of other before themselves. He preached charity towards the afflicted, towards women, children, the needy. He preached living the most modest lifestyle, using extra money and "blessings" to bestow upon others. However, most professed Christians these days work towards buying the biggest home they can afford (like anyone else), they keep up with the latest, greatest fashion and technology trends (personal cell phones etc.), pay for multiple entertainment streaming services every month, etc. They spend just like the secular world does. If they truly prioritized something that was so clearly close to the heart of their Messiah, they would cut out as much unneeded expense as possible and care for others with what they have been given. How many Multi-millionaires are "Christians" living in multi acre estates? How many Christians spend hundreds of dollars a month on their own entertainment instead of helping those who don't know where their next meal will come from? But they profess to follow Jesus example?
Along the same vein, Jesus preached acceptance, tolerance and love towards others. His message was never one of damnation, it was one of love. He also said that a Christian will be know by their fruit. So why is it that Christians feel it is ok to condemn others for the way they live their lives and to actively avoid these people instead of seeking them out? If Jesus was here today, would he not be trying to connect with all of those in opposition to the doctrine of Christianity for no other reason than to spend time with them and show them unconditional love? Yet, Christians stand on their moral high ground, looking down their noses at others and judging them (scorn). If they engage with others, it's often to push their beliefs right off the bat, not to foster a relationship. If you need to tell the world you follow Christ, then you probably don't. If you're truly different than the rest of us, your actions would SCREAM it. Again, whom are these Christians really following as they protect their Pride, Ego, and Scorn others who don't prescribe to their theology?
There's many more examples I could use, and I know one argument that may be used is "Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I don't sin, but I can be forgiveness because I seek God in prayer for that forgiveness". Well, here's the thing with that. When you ask for forgiveness, your recognizing that what you are doing is wrong and you're going to repent from that way of doing things and do better. But, are you willing to give up your standard of living to help others in need? Are you willing to go befriend people who's beliefs are vastly different from your own (perhaps pro choice, LGBTQ+ people, etc.) for the sake of just loving them like Jesus loved you?
Jesus hated nothing more than the hypocrites and Apostates... how many modern Christians are just that? How many of them are really being led by Satan and don't even truly realize it?
(Note: I am an agnostic. I was raised I'm a protestant Church my entire life and left at 20 years old. I am well versed in the Bible, and since stepping outside of the faith have made observations like this. I believe all religions are False, and that many who profess to practice them twist them to fit their own needs.)

There are many different discussions and circles of thought here about if / when / how all of it changes many of which subscribe to different beliefs and extremes.
Some feel it’s just a matter of a criminal ruling financial group or circle of power controlling and manipulating things such as spot pricing, stocks, etc that are behind it all..
Others watch, study and share predictive patterns as source of bull / bear markets, trends and formations (hence your cup & handle, trees and other terms used) feeling we’re riding out a storm typical of other eras…
Another school of thought refers to a bigger picture of manipulation where the financial picture is part of a larger organized effort made by a smaller, secretive criminal ruling group to exercise control over the masses.
There are many asking questions, looking to find their way, new to these subs, seeking to find their own truths about what’s happening, why and when there will be a breakout and change (not necessarily a good or bad one) where the manipulation of metal prices ends.
This is not a troll question but rather an honest opinion request to help those new to the subs and fact that these statistics/prices/values are not naturally formed develop their own beliefs on the situation and pending changes.
I’m of the thought that there is a controlling group that the criminal banks answer to, manipulating the value of the metals, stocks and financial sector overall that profit from the struggle of the masses not just financially, but also from the ability to dictate the behavior of the masses. For example, the harder the classes work to maintain any quality of life, the easier it is to control them. This ruling power is constructed of both public and mostly anonymous figures that also manipulate other aspects of our society such as politics & social behaviors much like a puppet show. I’m not bringing occult, aliens, spiritual forces or other factors outside of the immediate financial into this. We’re in an election year where it becomes easy to manipulate thought and create a divide amongst the masses… while we are engulfed in the turmoil over everything from political agenda to human rights, this criminal ruling class uses it all to steal while creating stress, duress and focus on other aspects of life. Bread & circuses control and distract our focus while the financial system that has been damaged beyond repair is quickly being set up for a rescue and restart under a digital currency. While I appreciate all of the effort put into stats and pattern formations, I believe a guy like DitchTheDeepState is the one really sharing the critical information which is specifically the physical amounts of metal in existence used to gauge the true value of fiat, paper money. He shares the info that describes the transactions as to how the criminal banks seemingly justify the numbers that keep the true value of gold and silver down. Stats and patterns are great, but they mean nothing when they can be manipulated.
This brings me to “when”- We’re seeing major events and changes including new world power alliances, new wars financially supported, changes power structure, seemingly hints as to the potential of future digital crashing with failing banks, social media bans, election upheaval, ridiculous funding for wars that the US can’t logically support all happening at an alarming rate. We’re months away from an election with 2 of the most controversial people ever in US political history battling amongst the people. I believe this is the Endgame where the criminal bankers will finally squeeze the last drop of blood from the existing financial system to allow the next regime to usher in a “new saving grace” of digital currency controlled by the government aka circle of criminals controlling the banks and financial system. Trump, Biden, Chase, BoA- all of them are puppets in this theater and the final act is upon us. This is where the “you’ll own nothing and like it” talk comes from, because it’s the stage that’s been set. There will be more no more lowe mid/upper class- just us the 99% and them the 1% criminal ruling class.
I’d like to hear to hear from others in a friendly manner holding aside religion, political party arguments and an anti-social hate-
-What do you feel is happening? -Who is responsible? -When do you see it ending? -What do you feel is the end result?
Thank you for your time and input! Awareness and critical thought is important for everyone. If this isn’t appropriate for the specific community it’s been shared in please delete with my apologies.

"Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout" by Cal Newport explores a counterintuitive approach to productivity that focuses on working slowly and thoughtfully to achieve significant results without losing well-being.
Newport opposes the dominant culture of hustle and perpetual work, stating that the concern with speed and multitasking often leads to fatigue and lower performance. Instead, he calls for a more intentional and concentrated approach to work, where individuals value deep work and single-tasking above shorter activities and distractions.
The book goes into the concept of "slow productivity," which involves adopting a slower pace of work, setting realistic expectations, and cultivating habits that encourage sustainable productivity. Newport draws on research from psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy to support his claims and offers practical techniques for integrating slow productivity in daily life.
One of the primary themes of "Slow Productivity" is the significance of prioritizing tasks that correspond with our beliefs and long-term goals. Newport encourages readers to discover their "core activities" - those that bring the most value and fulfillment – and spend focused time and attention to them.
Newport's writing is straightforward, analytical, and well-researched, making complicated subjects accessible to readers of different backgrounds. He presents real-world examples and case studies to illustrate his arguments and offers effective recommendations for overcoming typical productivity difficulties.
Overall, "Slow Productivity" is a thought-provoking and pertinent book that encourages readers to reassess their attitude to work and productivity. Whether you're a busy professional, entrepreneur, or student, this book offers essential ideas and practical tactics for completing more significant successes without burning out.
Free Audiobook with a free trial of Audible

Every year I put a different twist on my rankings. Show them a different way, account for some new bits of information. Highlight the guys that I have an unhealthy affinity towards while couching it in what their draft profile really tells us (i.e. this is why I am drafting them, this is why you should NOT).
There was a time, years back I spent hours, days, months reviewing every available piece of tape. Reading every analytics article and argument out there, what was on the cutting edge, what might be the future. I just don't put the same time and effort into these things. 2018-2022, I already knew who my top 12 players were for the next years draft were and more often than not 9, 10, 11 of them would be in the top 12 this time as well. Not this year, not going forward.
In my opinion fantasy football success is three things. Relative athleticism, production metrics, opportunity, and story. I'll define roughly each of them.
Athleticism is important, 4.35 40 times, sub 1.55 10 yard dashes are super cool, and when you are trying to make decisions on the margins, hey I might lean toward the more explosive guy. But generally speaking athleticism is wholly overrated. Essentially, more than anything in the world you want to be a 30th percentile athlete or better--we don't care if you are below average if you are great at football, see DeAndre Hopkins (4th percentile shuttle, 20th percentile broad, 50th percentile vert, 60th percentile speed score, 50th percentile 10 yard split, 30th percentile 40 time--a 30th percentile athlete). Are you athletic enough that ultimately your athleticism isn't the reason you bust? That is the question we are answering, this isn't a sort variable this isn't anything beyond that. Take your RAS scores and shove them.
Beyond this there have been plenty of studies done in the past that show that drilling per position has variation, so any model that doesn't make these considerations likely has a flaw in it. I'd have to go dig up those resources, but it was items like vertical and 40 time for receivers, I believe it was 3-cone and vertical for running backs.
Production metrics. This is probably the most contentious item out there in the modern sphere. There has been a lot of evolution since I started writing in fantasy football. Before we only really had breakout age and dominator. Dominator was just the simplest way to calculate how productive a player was relative to an offense. Now we have new metrics, deeper, more stable looks into how players are used schematically, and because a lot of these evaluations are so new we are still trying to find our new normal. Some of my favorite metrics out there right now are YPRR & YPRR excluding screens & YPRR vs schemes. I know a lot of people push team adjusted metrics, and I will always push age or more importantly year-in-school adjusted metrics. You get some outliers but generally speaking great draft capital plus a YPRR north of approximately 2.50~ is a solid profile. Great draft capital and a YPRR north of 3.00 is often a stud, north of 3.5 is Ja'Marr Chase. Peak year YPRR is how you find guys like Puka Nacua, but historically where guys like Godwin/DJ Moore would have survived. Don't get your head overly wrapped in the clouds though. But this is where we often cull the chaffe.

• DJ Moore (Career: 2.09, Peak: 2.83)
• Chris Godwin (Career: 2.12, Peak: 2.56)

At QB, one of the stickiest metrics that makes sense to me is PFF's big-throw metric. That's often where I throw my bets. So with no shock this year Caleb and Maye are my guys, and I have faith in Penix as well (Penix was dropping bombs at Indiana). P2S is also very popular as well as looking at a lot of these items in rate form.
At TE, athleticism, and relative production are always important.
At RB, this has always been more of a tape position to me, contact balance and vision within play design. Everyone is always looking for that guy that is going to break the big one, or take advantage of every little thing, I want a guy that sees the play, runs the play, and lets his blockers take him to the promise land rather than the guy that just out athletes college level, replacement level linebackers. They are flashy, but probably not long for the world. Missed Tackle rates, yards after contact, breakaway run percent tend to be solid indicators, but they are all ballpark metrics, I just want guys that are in the ballpark, not outliers (in a negative way).
Opportunity. This one is generally easy, draft capital doy. If a team spends a top 60 pick, they intend for that player to line up as a starter that fall. Historically that's whats happened for half way decent players, teams are saying they have a need and that player fills it. From here it's on us to determine what that opportunity might look like (high opportunity, low opportunity offense; efficient, vs inefficient offense). To put it another way, did the guy just go to Justin Herberts old offense or to his new offense? Will he have a 700 attempt offense to work within or a 520 attempt offense. Beyond that are we getting Aaron Rodgers level of efficiency, a touchdown every 10 passes, or are we getting Kenny Pickett levels of efficiency.
Beyond this...again...what is the marginal difference in draft capital? I'm working on a new bit because I want to more appropriately account for production relative to draft capital, and work out a more reasonable system of determining marginal effectiveness of draft capital in predicting success across draft pick not draft round. We know a top 7 drafted receiver is significantly more likely to find success than a top 20 draft receiver, relative to a top 32 receiver, relative to a top 60 receiver relative to a top 80 receiver relative...to...? Call it the Javon BakeTroy Franklin deep dive to correct for the injustice of Amon-Ra. Some day I'll share that, or I'll share it next year. But I did use some preliminary readouts for my rankings this year, and I think you'll be able to tease them out from visual inspection of some of the tier groupings. Essentially, good production metrics, mixed draft capital tiers.
Story. The final thing I weigh. Does a player have a good story? Find the guys that flashed production, flashed excellence, but the reasons why they didn’t consistently find success make sense. Maybe it’s they were in a deep room and there weren’t enough snaps or targets to go around. Maybe they had personality issues that could clear up and it just got in their way in college. Maybe they had injury issues or just a bad offense.
Some examples of these are pretty easy to find. DK Metcalf, explosive, unstoppable vertically, couldn’t stay healthy. Puka Nacua, transferred schools, dealt with injuries. Tyreek Hill, couldn’t stick with programs because of his own issues, has kind of gotten it together in the NFL. DJ Moore is a good example of a pitiful offense, he had more than a dozen starting QBs in his 3 years at Maryland, that offense threw for 2000 yards or fewer his first two seasons. Brandon Aiyuk? Came from JUCO, was behind an all-time ASU great in N’Keal Harry, still popped off his final season—long road, made the most of his opportunities, was explosive when given a shot.
This is subjective, so if a player hangs on your heart/mind more than others, it's fine--make your bet and go for it!
A couple of guys that kind of hang on my head this year are Xavier Legette, Tez Walker roads to success. Brenden Rice, his offense had 1200 yards in 6 games as a freshman, 1600 yards as a sophomore. Find the guys that speak to you.
PS: Brenden Rice's best chance is probably being an Allen Lazard type. My WR8 from the 2018 pre-draft process, loved the guy. Didn't break camp with the Jaguars, landed on the Packers, found success. I don't think Rice is breaking camp with the Chargers, he's a 3-year hold like a Justyn Ross (who has likely fizzled). I might draft him as late as possible or hope to pick him up off of waivers, but tiny odds of success at this point. Kid thought he was a day 2 pick, felt he earned a second round grade, will be interesting to see how he responds. His profile definitely warranted some day 2 consideration, especially over some of the guys that actually went day 2.

As always, ranking within tiers are subjective, and always changing. I'm not fighting anyone on Penix vs Coleman vs Benson vs Brooks.

1.01 The guys that deserve it.
Caleb Williams, QB1, Chicago Bears
No concerns about landing spot, and I’m a Packers fan that would love to take a dig. Good supporting cast to start his career, fantastic arm. The sky is the limit, love his arm and his confidence, we’ll see how Caleb does.
Marvin Harrison, WR1, Arizona Cardinals
On paper, I still prefer Malik Nabers. But this is Kyler Murray’s WR1. It’s not like Kyler hasn’t supported multiple WR1 seasons already. Kyler to the moon. Do not get cute.
1.03 My guys, happy haul.
Drake Maye, QB2, New England Patriots
This is the test of the big throw statistic. He blew it out of the park, and historically good draft capital plus lots of big throws = NFL success. Not concerned about the post-Belichick Patriots in anyway. Middle of the road team.
Malik Nabers, WR2, New York Giants
He was phenomenal as a junior, I’d argue if he wasn’t at LSU, Jayden Daniels wouldn’t have a Heisman. I really like Daboll so I hope the Giants right the ship this year and start moving forward, would hate to see him canned.
1.05 Separators
Rome Odunze, WR3, Chicago Bears
Landing spot is a little crowded, but not bad. This is DJ Moore’s last year without any dead cap so a decision will need to be made; I expect DJ Moore to stick and be the long term WR1, but we’ll see. Keenan is great, but if he isn’t happy in Chicago, he’ll go somewhere else probably chasing a ring. The more I write, the more I think Rome Odunze could be the WR1 in Chicago far sooner than people are ready for right now.
JJ McCarthy, QB3, Minnesota Vikings
Again, Packers fan. But I generally have always respected the Vikings front office and team. Maybe he’s just better Christian Ponder before the next veteran QB steps in the doors, but I do like this landing spot and think there are legs here. I could see myself move him down a tier—but this feels right for now.
Brock Bowers, TE1, Las Vegas Raiders
Can we just not overthink this? Everyone has been over the moon about this guy for years. Just let it happen, find peace.
Jayden Daniels, QB4, Washington Commanders
This one scares me. But Big Time Throws! I don’t trust Washington, and I think the profile is concerning emerging late. Not certain he’s the biggest threat in the NFL with his legs in this class, which is supposed to be his hallmark by the fantasy crowd.
1.08 The crowd
Brian Thomas Jr, WR4, Jacksonville Jaguars
Jacksonville has a new alpha in town. I still think Trevor Lawrence sticks long term. Probably an argument it’s tough to be too high on Thomas. His transition will be a shock, and I think it’s fair to worry that he might just turn into a deep shot guy circa a Marquez Valdes-Scantling type. But I think we hold our breath and hope for the stars.
Xavier Worthy, WR5, Kansas City Chiefs
I think this is a perfect marriage, and anyone would be smart to have him as their WR4. I’m not certain it’s going to translate into easy production in the NFL. But I think this is a perfect marriage for Chiefs fans to get some very exciting games. Trust the Reid.
Keon Coleman, WR6, Buffalo Bills
Josh gets a new alpha. This is a gamble pick, picking with the heart. Allen Robinson comp still stands; Keon Coleman is excellent at the catch point and takes pride in making people miss. I think we should all be waiting with bated breath.
Michael Penix Jr, QB5, Atlanta Falcons
NFL, Not For Long. Superflex hawks will be all over this and will always just say take the QBs first. I think Penix has a lot more upside with his legs than a lot of guys in this class, and I stronglyl considered him in Jayden Daniels place. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a Josh Allen like “didn’t know I could do that, I just did it” early in his career.
Bo Nix, QB6, Denver Broncos
Seems like everyone hates Sean Payton these days, but his system has a lot of respect around the league. He gets a system guy. Feels like the right move for a franchise that needs to win sooner rather than later. I think a lot of his stats in the college were manufactured and he was completely unremarkable at Auburn. Trust in Sean Payton on this one I guess.
Jonathan Brooks, RB1, Carolina Panthers
Not concerned about landing spot, fills a need, and if you thought he was a really good player before, nothing has changed. Quality RB draft capital. I think he can go at any point in this group. Just kind of threw him at the end here.
Trey Benson, RB2, Arizona Cardinals
I’m not entirely sold on Trey Benson, I preferred a guy like Audric Estime on tape. But this guy is a mauler and now enters an offense that is likely to highly prioritize space. Get this load moving, in space? Arizona has a reload going.
2.03 Holdddddddddd
Troy Franklin, WR7, Denver Broncos
This one bewilders me honestly, would have been a bit surprised if he fell to the mid third, but I thought he was a lock to go top 60. I can pull up interviews of Dan Lanning talking about how great of a locker room presence Troy was. His production profile is fantastic. Troy is mint. But even if this was late third round draft capital, it’s still concerning. I believe in my assessment on this guy, only pick I have in this years draft is a late 2nd (but look at that he just went early second)—Franklin and Baker will be priority picks for me. Source, Jon Macri PFF; 4th highest career YPRR against single coverage since 2015.
Javon Baker, WR8, New England Patriots
Falls right in line. I figured Baker would be a round 3 guy, but another solid production profile. I liked both New England receivers coming into the draft—New England in my estimation have a great opportunity to move that offense forward by adding Maye, Polk, Baker, and Bell. I think the veterans on that roster, plus the upside of the youngsters is fantastic relative to what we've seen the last couple years.
Source, Jon Macri PFF; 5th highest career YPRR against single coverage since 2015.
2.05 Lots of flash
Blake Corum, RB3, Los Angeles Rams
People have already said it, but I think the Kyren comp works, and I think Blake was arguably one of the best runners in this class. This guy is going to be a steal in rookie drafts.
Ja’Lynn Polk, WR9, New England Patriots
Fantasy wise, I struggle with the Patriots offense; I don’t think it’s going to go bananas, but I think like Baker, Polk has a shot at being a franchise guy. Don’t confuse my hype on Javon Baker for being low on Polk. Had Polk and Baker tied together prior to the draft. I think Polk has shown a little more after the catch, but Baker was a little bit more reliable, and has a little more tape in one on one situations outside.
Roman Wilson, WR10, Pittsburgh Steelers
Does the Steelers streak get snapped here? I don’t think so. If you’re sitting in the mid second and need a player to feel good about, I feel good about Roman. Profile is built around low sample rate stats, and it’s a little funky that Harbaugh didn’t take him when they were obviously looking at receiver. But it’s the Steelers man.
Jaylen Wright, RB4, Miami Dolphins
Classic third year declare, hyper efficient, speed merchant runner going to the Miami Dolphins? Draft capital is meh, but..c’mon. Let’s fucking go.
2.11 Don’t forget
Jalen McMillan, WR11, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Intriguing player that shouldn’t be brushed aside. Was definitively the WR2 in that Washington offense and at times even pushed Odunze for targets. Lackluster landing spot leaves us reeling, but someone to keep an eye on.
Tez Walker, WR12, Baltimore Ravens
Productive junior, that immediately went to a better program to limited success. Reminds me of poor production profile Dyami Brown. Ravens receivers are a pain in the ass.
Late Round – Best of Rest targets
Audric Estime, RB, Denver Broncos
Ray Davis, RB, Buffalo Bills
Jaheim Bell, TE, New England Patriots
Always interested in starting a discussion.
Always here for questions.

Welcome to this week's Open Discussion Thread. This thread is a place for posts/comments which are related to philosophy but wouldn't necessarily meet our posting rules (especially posting rule 2). For example, these threads are great places for:

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Welcome to this week's Open Discussion Thread (ODT). This thread is a place for posts/comments which are related to philosophy but wouldn't necessarily meet our subreddit rules and guidelines. For example, these threads are great places for:

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My husband (26M) and I (32F) have been married for 5 years, and we have 4 children together. I work full time remotely and he stays with the children... as of the last 2 weeks, by his choice. Lately, within the last 6 months, he has discovered his emotions and has been watch a ton of videos about amotional awareness, and he has learned a lot. Our relationship has been rocky recently because he has been harping on me that I'm not emotionally aware enough. Although, I feel normally am very good at recognizing how I feel, why I feel that way and redirecting it until I have time to process, mostly after the kids lay down. Because...uh that is parenting. I do have past trauma, my childhood was hell, however I've spend 5 years in total in counseling, and trauma therapy. This is what I accredited all my processes too.
That being said, the issue arose that when I'm emotionally distraught about something, I was telling him. He told me that I wasnt handling my emotions properly because most of the time when we would be in these conversations hed start to get upset and reinforce what i was complaining about which would lead to a fight. Example, I was feeling down about not being able to catch up with everything and feeling extremely overwhelmed because of work and him wanting me to stick to a strict working schedule so that he would know when he could rely in my to help with the house stuff. Currently we were in agreement that I'd work 8-5pm, come out for an hour break for lunch and then lay the girls down and he expected me not to work until the girls were asleep and house were cleaned for the night. But that was taking until 11pm some nights. My job consists of meetings during the day and managing working in-between those meetings. Also, we aren't doing well financially because he can't find a job that pays well enough for us to have a sitter or send the girls to daycare. Thus why he started staying home. That being said I'm trying to pick up hours whenever I can. So it wasn't realistic for me to try to help with the house and the girls until 11pm and then finish my work. I was crying upset by the fact that I felt like everything was on my shoulders and I needed help. He told me I needed to let go of some stuff, to that I told him I'm only holding on to the important things...the family and that I needed him to be fully responsible for the house hold. He snapped back that he was doing the best he could, and that he felt like he was cleaning more, he cleaned things better and was more efficient at cleaning than I was. So I needed to lay off him. I shutdown, because I knew that wasn't going to be productive anymore.
Later i told him i was hurt by that comment and i was just trying to express that i needed help and a more flexible on my work schedule. He doubled down saying that I needed to accept him where he was at and be supportive of him. I needed to make time for him, because I was working too much and ge didn't understand why I had to work at night. I tried to explain my side of things. And basically it came down to the idea that he felt like I valued work more than him and he was upset about that. We went back and forth for hours via text because I felt like he was missing key pieces of information when we did have these discussions. Finally came to a conclusion in that he said, I'm just going to assume I'm in the wrong and try to not get upset when you are working.
Later, we did realize there were key parts of the conversation that he missed...and he admitted this was a flaw and that he'd try to pay attention more but asked me to be aware that he misses key pieces of information. This is right here is why I'd get frustrated and upset, because he would be arguing about something saying that I'm wrong and in reality he just didn't understand. So of course I was getting a tone in my voice and getting upset. I was literally arguing with illogical argument in my mind.
Fast forward to just a couple days ago, I was upset because a long time friend had stopped talking to me seemingly out of the blue. I figured it had nothing to do with me but I have a past of abandonment wounds so these things hit a little hard than for most. I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to. He asked what was wrong and I told him I was upset about feeling alone and there is so much pain still from the idea of abandonment. He says, can you tell me more about that? So I did I told him exactly what happened, and why I was so hurt, and how I felt. After I finished talking he literally just sat there for about 5 more minutes and stood up and walked out to the kitchen without saying a word... not a single word.
That literally kind pushed me over the edge in the moment and I felt like well fuck... I wish I would just die because clearly I'm the problem. This is the first time in my life I've ever felt like this. So at this point I realized that my husband probably isn't a person that is safe for me to be around. So I've started getting emotional support else where and I only tell him what I need to at least in the emotional realm.
He is now at a point, where he has told me that I'm not emotionally safe to be around because I don't support him. When I asked him to tell me what was going on and why he felt that way he gave me an example of, the other morning he came downstairs and the baby's cloth diaper was soaking wet again. He said, "These cloth diapers just don't work." So I responded, "It sounds like you need to add more inserts at night" he snapped back, "They don't even work during the day!" So I said "well they do need to be changed every 2 hours, or add more inserts" he goes "I don't need this, fuck you" and I was genuinely confused. He said that he needed me to sit with him in the moment and support him emotionally in that moment. So I told him, if he want emotionally support he needs to let me know at the very least that he's having a hard time. That to just make a comment like that isn't going to cross my radar as needing emotional support. He then said I can't always tell you, I need you to recognize it.
Am I going insane or is he struggling with things and projecting them onto me? Where do I go from here and how did we move forward? Is he being emotionally abusive at this point?

AITA for being emotionally distant to my BF(37M)’s son (9M) after he accused me of hurting him, when I did not and/or would not ever lay a hand on any kid. Backstory: I (37F) have been with my BF on and off for 14 years (mostly on). The longest breakup we had was for 2 years. This is where he got with a girl that dated his best friend and that I also befriended and got her pregnant. Their family pushed for them to get married when they found out about the pregnancy. The marriage didn’t even last a year. He left her right after she had the baby because she is psychotic (no exaggeration). We both witnessed how crazy and controlling she was when she was with his friend (tons of incidents that I don’t have time to mention). She also acted the same and a lot worse towards my BF (ex at the time). For example, she would accuse him of cheating and would sit in the parking lot of his workplace all day, like all the time. She even drove past my house to see if he was there, he wasn’t; I didn’t speak to him at all for the 2 years we were broken up. He has recordings of their arguments, and let’s just say she was out of her mind (scary Lifetime movie style). Also, she had mental health issues like anorexia and bulimia. She had be hospitalized several times because of that, so not very mentally stable. So, after he file for separation (his son was 2 months old), we started talking again, ended up back together. He then had to move to finish his training for his job in another state, by that time we had been back together for about 3 months, and we decided to try to make it work long distance. Everything was going fine, until one day he had called and asked me how I would feel if she came to stay with him for a few days, so he could see his son. I didn’t like it, but said it was fine, since it’s about his son. Well, the visit was supposedly terrible, since she called the cops and went to the ER that he works at and claimed he abused her. Luckily, he had it on recording that she was the aggressor and he did not abuse her. So the police dropped the case after he showed them the recording. Fast forward to a year or so later, he was served with court papers that there was case against him for abusing her. Case was dropped after the recording was played. He finished his training after 4 years and moved back home. He then had to go back to court to change his visitation and ended up with standard visitation. In that time, I cared for his son like he was my own. Stayed with his parents when he had to leave for work for a couple of days to help them care for the child. He slept with me in the bed, I did everything a mother would/should do. All the while, still dealing with her craziness. I ended up pregnant with my now (3F). When I was pregnant his son was really mean towards me, even stomped on my bare foot on purpose and bruised it really bad, to the point where I thought he broke it. I didn’t do or say anything to the kid but told my bf about it. Which he didn’t do or say anything to his kid about it. By this time he was about 4 years old. That was around the time he told his dad that I “threw him against a tree in our backyard, and he hit his head”, we don’t have any trees in our yard. His dad knew he was lying. This is when I distanced myself from the kid. It broke my heart that he was accusing me of something so horrible. On top of all this we have been to court and his son pretended to be terrified of him and was crying and yelling, saying he was scared of his dad, even crawled underneath a bench to “hide” from his dad. It freaked me out how a young kid can act that well. If I didn’t know any better, I would believe him! All this is obviously coached by his mom, but it scares me. I don’t want to get arrested for false accusations. His dad has been in and out of court so many times, I’ve lost count. Now, he is 9 and he lies about everything! He is also hurting my 3 year old on purpose and claiming it’s an accident, when I have witnessed him purposely hurting her. He is also making me uncomfortable by touching my daughter’s butt(she yelled out for him to stop touching her private, which I’ve taught her where her privates are), and would ask her to come to his room and for her to lock the door. I’ve caught him doing this on 2 occasions and asked him why he was telling her to shut and lock the bedroom door. He panicked both times and profusely said he was sorry and didn’t know why he asked her to do that (I didn’t even raise my voice at him). I don’t touch him or get on to him, and try to steer clear from him unless he is hungry or need me for something. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when he is here, because I don’t want to be accused for something, and don’t want my BF to feel like I don’t love his son. I’m honestly just scared of the kid. My BF thinks I’m a b*tch for being this way, but I don’t know what else to do. Oh! Also, he has told us that his mom said it was ok for him to hurt my daughter, even called her ugly, and that she was not his sister. There are so many more details to all that has happened, but I’m trying to keep it as short as possible. So, AITA for being emotionally distant to my BF’s son?

My boyfriend abd I work together at a bar and have done for about a year and a half, he is the assistant manager and I am a server. We have always got along brilliantly and started seeing each other for a few months last year. I am a uni student, so I had to leave the city for a few months over the summer. This eventually led to me calling things off between us as he had a tendency to be very intense (calling excessively, minor arguments that were overreacted to etc). We found our way back to eachother when I returned to work and uni and my perception of him completely changed (in a good way). He was a lot less insecure about our relationship and wasn’t so intense, so we got into a relationship late last year.
He is a great boyfriend, he compliments me, buys me lovely gifts, he is thoughtful and we do so much together. I love him so much and he has a heart of gold, I love the time we spend together. The problem is that he isn’t a very independent person. He has grown up in a very sheltered way and has never really had to do anything for himself. I live alone, so when it comes to housework etc, he really lacks common sense, for example not throwing rubbish away, chucking things on the floor expecting them to be cleaned up, not washing dishes etc. It’s not malicious and if I call him up on it he will rectify it, but it’s exhausting having to do this all the time. This is even reflected in his work, he has a tendency to do half a job of things meaning I have to pick up a lot of his slack, despite him being MY manager.
Another problem is that he doesn’t know how to handle situations maturely. His responses to arguments with other people (specifically at work) are childish, often saying things for the sake of ‘shock value’ when he’s upset with others (name calling etc). I find myself having to teach him how to speak to others and handle himself professionally. Everyone at work loves him, but there have been countless times where I will be at home and a staff member will message me complaining about something he has said to them/ his behaviour on shift. All of these situations make me feel like his guardian. I feel like I have to ‘tell him off’ all the time and I don’t want that to be my role or responsibility.
This has all built up over the last few months but last night it all came together. He had to get last minute cover from one of the other managers at work, who kindly cancelled his plans and agreed to work until 6pm for him. It got to 6:05 and my boyfriend was no where to be seen, and when I messaged him politely asking where he was he said ‘he’d probably leave soon’. He was 30 minutes away from where we work, so this meant our other manager had to stay and miss his plans. I warned boyfriend that the staff were very annoyed with him and that he needed to apologise. When he arrived, he burst through the door and shouted ‘Wagwan, I’m drunk’ so obnoxiously, with all the customers turning and hearing him. I was mortified. I value professionalism very highly - I don’t even hug him at work because I like to keep my relationship seperate from it.
I asked him why on earth he came in like that when I warned him the staff were annoyed, to which he ignored me. I was so angry and distanced myself from him, and told him I would speak to him after work. He wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept asking and asking and I begged him to just leave it and not cause a scene in front of everyone. He kept prodding so I said to him that I feel like his keeper and that I have to supervise everything he does. I said this quietly and calmly, adding that I would talk to him when he was sober. At this point he starts slamming things around on the bar in front of a full bar of customers, shouting ‘you really feel like my keeper?’. I begged him to stop causing a scene and being so loud. I was so embarrassed. He was swearing at me from across the bar. All of my colleagues and customers saw it. I was so so embarrassed and upset as I don’t conduct myself this way and I take my job seriously. I just wanted him to leave it alone until after work and he wouldn’t. He didn’t leave my side for the rest of the shift begging to talk. He thought that the only thing he’d done wrong was be late and didn’t realise the problem was disrespecting my boundaries and publicly embarrassing me.
I explained all of the above at the end of the night and he promised he’d fix his immature behaviour, but how can you fix what he said is subconscious behaviour? I don’t know how this can change, he is more than apologetic and is respecting my space now, but he knows how much I value privacy and he overstepped so many lines yesterday ‘without realising’.
I love him so much but this situation has made me question our compatibility. All my friends see him as the dream boyfriend and he really is so thoughtful and kind to me, but I do see him as a boy that needs my looking after and he acts very young for his age. I don’t really want to break up with him, but is there a solution here?

Hello everyone,
(Please excuse any error, as English is not my main language)
I (26f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been in a relationship for 2.5 years.
It has been great so far, but one thing is starting to bother me a lot. He has a tendency to criticize my hobbies and my performance in some of them, causing me to feel very insecure about myself.
Here are a few examples of recent cases:
I recently started embroidery and he criticizes it a lot, saying that it is a ridiculous activity and it makes me look like an old housewife.
I also wanted to do some sport, and I picked what I think would be an easy activity as I'm not into sports at all and thought it would be easier to commit that way. I thought he would be happy that I decided to do some physical activity, as he often hinted at the fact that I should lose some weight (I'm 7 kg above my ideal weight but still in the healthy range). But he made fun of the sport I picked, and it completely demotivated me.
Another example is that we play a lot of video games together, and he started to frequently say that I'm bad at it, to the point of saying it bluntly in front of other people we play with. It is true that I am not as good as he is, nor that I like the high-level stuff as much as he does, but I'm decent, so I think he is exaggerating a lot with his comments. Also, I told him that if he wanted to do more high-level content, he could find his own group to do so, and we could still do more chill activities on the side together, as we both enjoy it (collection, success, low high-level content, etc.).
I'm usually not bothered by what other people think of me, but since he is very important to me, I am hurt by his comments.
I tried to discuss it with him to the best of my abilities (I'm not great at discussing my feelings) and be very clear on the effect his behavior had on me. But he did not stop, and during the last discussion we had, he told me that he is simply saying what he thinks and he cannot change who he is. I tried to say to him that it is okay if we don't like the same activities sometimes, and that it is possible to just be happy that the other is enjoying something, even if we don't like it personally, but he does not get it. He admitted himself that he does not understand how people can like things he considers boring or ridiculous, and he said that he does not like the idea of doing separate activities. I also try to point out the useful parts in my hobbies, with what I thought were good and logical arguments, but he dismissed it all.
I find this behavior very disturbing, as it is not at all something that I would do. To me, it does not really matter what people are enjoying, as long as it makes them happy. It could literally be the most boring (in my opinion) activity, as long as they are invested in it, I will say that it is great that they can enjoy themselves and will celebrate with them their accomplishments. To me, this is normal social behavior, especially with the ones you love, and I don't understand how he can pretend to love me and yet show no support in those cases.
If it was just one activity, I could think that he has an issue with the activity in question, but since it happened many times about many subjects, I don't think it's the reason.
To be fair, he is otherwise a great and caring boyfriend. He often gives me little attentions, and seems to really enjoy it when I express interest and join him in one of his hobbies. He also seemed very sad that I was not happy with him lately and wanted some space to calm down and reflect, and he was open to talk about it, so I don't doubt that he can take the situation seriously.
Overall, I guess I'm looking for every advice I can get. Is this a normal situation? Am I just making a huge thing out of nothing serious? (As it happened to me in the past in other relationships, and ultimately I also sometimes do things that he does not like) How can I discuss this with him in a healthy and clear manner and make him understand my point of view? (I am absolutely for working together on the issue, but I don't know how) How can I understand better how he thinks about it? I think the issue here is we are functioning very differently on this, but just like he cannot get what I'm trying to express to him, I don't get why he is acting this way. If we want to meet in the middle, I think it would be essential to first understand each other better.