Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Noah parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”

If this is a long read, please forgive me. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it except my mom.
Around 2019-2020, I was diagnosed with celiac disease. I was scared and took it very seriously. In Girl Scout cookie season with my nieces, I only ate the gf one. I stopped eating free cake and donuts and pizza at work. I had a terrible time on a vacation during covid because many restaurants and stores were closed and gas stations wouldn’t let me inside, so I ate meat and cheese sticks and lays potato chips to survive. Thanksgiving was hard. Gf processed food took a lot of getting used to. But I persevered, lost 40+ pounds, and felt pretty good.
Then around 2023, my doctor didn’t believe I had celiac. She was even kind of mean about it and told me to prove it or she would never chart it. I went back to my gastro doctor and asked for paperwork. The paperwork said inconclusive. I felt betrayed because they said I definitely had it. I spent so much money and gave up so much food and holidays…for nothing?
So for about a year and a half, I made up for lost time. Ate all the free food offered. Burger King came to town and I became a regular. All the southern food like fried chicken and flaky biscuits and mac and cheese I ate again. Gained my weight back. Had months of diarrhea and blamed it on Taco Bell. I felt worse and worse.
I finally decided enough was enough and I had a bunch of tests run to make sure. It cost over 5 grand because my insurance was so so. I was miserable eating gluten on purpose until my tests in September. After a colonoscopy and endoscopy and a bunch of other tests, it was found that I had Celiac, it was definite and much worse, and now I had Barrett’s Esophagus too. My doctor had taken me off prilosec a couple of years ago because she said I could get dementia. That upset the gastrointestinal team who said esophageal cancer would be so much worse.
So I stopped going to my home doctor, started protonix, and have tried my best the past 7 months, but it seems so much harder. I was too easily swayed by people telling me to just get one donut, by fast food being in my work parking lot and close to home, and by all the doctors I had to pay and dwindling gf shelves.
I tried to reward myself with virtual medals I earned miles on every time I ate gf. It helped, but didn’t stop me. I could eat gf breakfast and dinner at home, but I did terrible at work. So I quit Walmart and got me an office job where I have to bring a lunch. But my big family eats up my safe snacks so I end up buying gross tasting, gluteny, expensive food in the lunch room. I still don’t have insurance and I ran out of protonix and famotidine. I was ok until last week. I developed a horrible cough (at a call center, no less) and I started tasting blood and having horrible heartburn. I wasn’t able to eat for a couple of days. Finally my brain cleared up and I remembered that I had Barrett’s Esophagus also. I went back on famotidine and am taking tums until I can afford protonix without insurance. I feel a little better today. But I got depressed when I found out my former coworkers got a huge wage and I was drowning in debt and no insurance, so I went to McDonalds because I have absolutely no willpower and my depression is returning. I don’t know what to do. I want to do better! I want to be healthy and here for my family. I could really use some encouragement right now. Sorry this was so long.

I’m at 0.5mg I feel great. Minimal Side effects (some GI stuff but its manageable). The last couple weeks I have zero appetite and food is completely unappealing which is leading to some poor choices. I’m a nurse and switching to the day shift soon which will help bc I won’t have to meal prep for a whole week at a time bc I’ll be home from work at a reasonable hour. Obviously eating the same thing all Week when food is already unappealing having the same thing for lunch every is a problem.
A friend who took Mounjaro said soups seemed to help her so I am going to try that.
What’s worked for all of you?? Cheesy Gordito crunches seem to be the only appetizing thing lately and I have had more Taco Bell in two weeks than I have had in my entire life. 😢😢

As always, if you know of an event that's not listed here, feel free to share it (with a link) in the comments. Feedback on events you've attended or plan to attend is welcome.
*Free (or no admission/cover)
--Recurring Event
Noteworthy: May 13-19 is American Craft Beer Week. May 16 is National Barbecue Day.
Weekend & Multi-Day Events
May 13-19 Dallas is Lit (Literary Festival) at multiple Oak Cliff venues
May 16-19 DSO: Rachmaninoff Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini at the Meyerson
May 17-18 Dallas Black Dance Theatre Spring Celebration at Wyly Theatre
May 17-19 Wildflower! Music and Arts Festival at Galatyn Park Urban Center, Richardson
May 17-19 Main Street Fest - A Craft Brew Experience at Historic Downtown Grapevine
May 17-25 Now THAT’s What I Call TV Improv 90s Sitcom at Stomping Ground Comedy
May 18-19 Black Heritage Celebration at the Dallas Arboretum
Through May 27 Scarborough Renaissance Festival, Waxahachie
Through May 18 Fannie: The Music and Life of Fannie Lou Hamer at Bishop Arts Theater Ctr
Through May 25 Echo Theatre: Beyond the Yellow Wallpaper at the Bath House Cultural Center
Through Jun 9 Hamilton at Winspear Opera House
May 17-June 1 Teatro Dallas: Cloud Tectonics at the Latino Cultural Center
*May 11- May 24 Women in Art – A Joyful Journey Exhibition at Art on Main
*Through May 19 The Art of Embroidery from India to the World at NorthPark Center
*Through June 28 Central Library Staff Art Exhibit at Dallas Public Library Central Branch
Monday, May 13
Dallas Mavericks vs. OKC Thunder: Playoffs Round 2 Game 4 at AAC
Dallas Stars vs. Colorado Avalanche Watch Party at Shark Club Sports Bar and Grill
Texas Rangers vs. vs. Cleveland Guardians at Globe Life Field, Arlington
British Film Institute Book Club Presents: Mean Streets at Texas Theatre
“Spider Mondays” The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on 35MM at Texas Theatre
Augustana: Something Beautiful Tour with Valley Boy at Club Dada
*Ryan Glenn at Truck Yard Dallas
*Music Bingo at Guitars and Growlers, Richardson
*Songwriter's Open Mic Hosted by Justin Collins at Dan's Silverleaf, Denton
*Poor David’s Pub Virtual Open Mic on Facebook Live
Tuesday, May 14
Texas Rangers vs. vs. Cleveland Guardians at Globe Life Field, Arlington
*10-Year Destination Master Plan Community Town Hall - West/South Dallas at West Dallas Multipurpose Center
Dallas Winds Concert: In This Circle at the Meyerson Symphony Center
*--Free Rooftop Movie: Easy A at Sundown at Granada
The Variety Show with The Lost Boy Presents at Arts Mission Oak Cliff
Jimmy Gnecco of Ours at Opening Bell Coffee
Qveen Herby at House of Blues
*Book Presentation: An Evening with Andrés Neuman at The Wild Detectives
*Book Signing and Discussion - Jannese Torres: Financially Lit at Interabang Books
*--W.O.W. (Words Over Wine) Poetry Open Mic at Chocolate Secrets
*Just Dance Series - Salsa Lessons at Harwood Park
*Indian Cultural Heritage Foundation Dance performance at Pleasant Grove Branch Library
Wednesday, May 15
Dallas Stars vs. Colorado Avalanche: Round 2 Game 5 At American Airlines Center
Texas Rangers vs. vs. Cleveland Guardians at Globe Life Field, Arlington
Dallas Wings vs. Chicago Sky at College Park Center, Arlington
10-Year Destination Master Plan Community Town Hall - North Dallas at Prism Center
Dallas Architecture Forum Presents: Brian MacKay-Lyons at Dallas Museum of Art
*--Salsa Night/Beginner’s Lessons at Vidorra Dallas
Transformers: 40th Anniversary Event at Texas Theatre
*Nerd Night: Old School Video Games at Celestial Beerworks
*Pat Peterson at The Kitchen Cafe
Swingin' at the Sons at Sons of Hermann Hall
Piano Men: An Elton John & Billy Joel Tribute at Sky Blu Rooftop
Daniel Sloss: Can't at The Majestic
*--Improv Jam at Dallas Comedy Club
Part One Tribe - A $7.77 Show at Deep Ellum Art Co.
3-course Beer Pairing Dinner at Windmills, The Colony
Thursday, May 16
10-Year Destination Master Plan Community Town Hall - East Dallas at Harry Stone Rec Center
Dallas Zoo After Dark Wild Canvas at the Dallas Zoo
*Bombshell Dance Project Performance at Dallas Museum of Art
*Kaleta Doolin in Conversation on Feminist Art History at Dallas Museum of Art
Maifest at the Brewery at Community Beer Co.
Analog Art Show at Flea the Scene
Sip & Paint at Aloft Dallas Downtown
Murder Mystery 3-Course Dinner at Bourbon and Banter
*PNC Patio Sessions - Pretty Boy Aaron at Sammons Park
*Books Signing and Discussion - Noah Gittel, Baseball: The Movie at Interabang Books
The Rhinestone Teardrops Tour at Three Links
Michelle Wolf: It's Great to Be Here at House of Blues
David Slater and Veronica Williams at Sammons Center for the Arts
*Adult Coloring at Mountain Creek Branch Library
HipHop & Healing at Highland Hills Branch Library
Master Gardeners: Taking the Mystery Out of Plant Propagation at Lakewood Branch Library
59th Academy of Country Music Awards at Ford Center at The Star, Frisco
Friday, May 17
Texas Rangers vs. Los Angeles Angels at Globe Life Field
*‘til Midnight at the Nasher Sculpture Center
*--DJ Binosaur at Vector Brewing
Backyard Concert: Meridian Brothers and Elkin Pautt at The Wild Detectives
*Booker T. Washington HSPVA Singer-Songwriters at Opening Bell Coffee
Cinéwilde Presents: The Matrix at Texas Theatre
Larry g(ee) EP Release with Dezi 5 and Cozy Campos at The Kessler
Girls' Night Out Stand-up Comedy Showcase at Dallas Comedy Club
Nimesh Patel: Fast and Loose Tour at the Majestic Theatre
The Reverent Few / Joe Blow / The Brandon Callies Band at The Double Wide
Chap Stick (Cheap Trick Tribute) at Sundown at Granada
*Trey Gonzalez at The Rustic
Dallas Poetry Slam 30th Anniversary Showcase at Oak Cliff Assembly
Aaron Aryanpur Live at the Oak Cliff Cultural Center
Saturday, May 18
Texas Rangers vs. Los Angeles Angels at Globe Life Field
Dallas Wings vs. Chicago Sky at College Park Center, Arlington
Ultimate Frisbee Dallas Legion vs. Houston HAVOC at Jesuit Dallas
*Cycling: Group Ride at Community Beer Co.
Morning Bird Walk at Trinity River Audubon Center
*AAPI Heritage & Dragon Boat Festival at the Bath House Cultural Center
Art Talk: Laure de Margerie at the Nasher Sculpture Center
Discover Downtown Dallas Movie Series: Sweet Home Alabama at Harwood Park
9th Anniversary Brewery Fest at Texas Ale Project
*Pawty on the Patio with Golden Retriever Rescue at On Rotation
*Asian Am., Native Hawaiian, & Pacific Islander Heritage Celebration at AT&T Discovery District
*AAPI Family Weekend at Sammons Park (Dallas Arts District)
Hope Starts Here 5K at Klyde Warren Park
Deep Ellum Wine Walk: Rosé Olé at Discover Deep Ellum
*Conversation and Party: Colombe Schneck and Merrit Tierce at The Wild Detectives
*Art Exhibitions Opening Event at Ro2 Art
*Analog Art Show at Flea the Scene
6th Annual Adult Science Fair at Celestial Beerworks
Andrea Gonzalez Caballero Spanish Guitar Concert at Kalita Humphreys Theater
Pepe Aguilar at American Airlines Center
Sunday, May 19
Texas Rangers vs. Los Angeles Angels at Globe Life Field
Dallas Jackals vs. Seattle Seawolves at Choctaw Stadium, Arlington
State Fair Records: Songwriters Round on The Green at The Kessler
*En Plein Air Painting Demonstration at the Dallas Museum of Art
Dilbeck Architecture Conservancy Homes Tour at University Park
K Pop Music Bingo Brunch at the Sweet Tooth Hotel
Abducted By The 80's at House of Blues
Paint and Sip at Peticolas Brewing
Turtle Creek Chorale: Pages at Northaven United Methodist Church
*Cars for CASA Car Show at Rockwall Courthouse, Rockwall

I've always been bound to death.
On my eighth birthday, a shadow strode into my house and shot me and my family dead. I remember it vividly, every detail, every angle, etched and stained and carved into my memory.
I sat very still with my knees to my chest, my gaze glued to my siblings.
Lily and PJ looked like they were sleeping, and I could almost believe it.
I didn't look at the shadow.
From the comfort of my knees, I waited for my brother to lift his head.
But his body was so limp, so still, every part of him faltering. My sister’s head was nestled in his shoulder, thick beads of red running down her face.
They're just sleeping.
I could tell myself they were— as long as I didn't look at the splatter of scarlet staining the back of the couch and pooling at their feet.
BANG.
Mom’s body dropped onto the ground.
I lunged forwards, slamming my hands over my ears.
BANG.
PJ’s head slumped forwards, a teasing smile still frozen on his lips.
BANG.
Lily gently tipped into PJ, like she was going to sleep.
Before she closed her eyes, Mom told me to run.
I can't remember how long I stayed under the shattered remnants of Mom’s favorite table. The shadow was waiting for me to move, to make a noise.
I watched booted feet crunch through glass, getting closer and closer, and slowly, fight or flight began to take over.
Making it halfway across the living room, my palms slick with my mother’s blood, I thought I was going to live.
Cruel fingers wound their way through my hair and shoved me to my knees. I remember the phantom legs of a spider creeping down the back of my neck when the shadow with no face dragged the barrel of his gun down my spine.
“Turn around.”
The shadow had a voice.
When I didn't move, the protruding metal stabbed into my neck.
“Turn around, kid!”
I did, very slowly.
Behind him, my siblings still weren't moving.
They were asleep.
Lily was still smiling, strawberry blonde ringlets stained red.
I couldn't see PJ’S face anymore.
BANG.
I didn't feel the gunshot.
I didn't feel anything.
Looking down, I glimpsed slowly spreading red blossoming like a flower.
It felt like being cut from strings.
I hit the ground, just like my mother, my body felt heavy and wrong.
Paralysed.
I remember being unable to scream, unable to cry, the salty taste of metal filling my mouth. It was like being winded. Rolling onto my side, all I could see was flickering candlelight.
The air was thick, so hard to breathe.
I rolled onto my back trying to suck in air.
The shadow took a step back, opened the front door, and bled into the night.
I don't remember the pain, and I don't remember dying. I couldn't breathe, couldn't conjure words in my mouth.
I felt warm and sticky, lying in my own blood.
I think I tried to move.
But I was so tired.
I’m not sure what death feels like, because it's like going to sleep.
I remember my last shuddering breaths, a lulling darkness beginning to swallow me up. I don't know why I wasn't afraid.
Oblivion almost felt like I was sinking into lukewarm depths on a Summer’s day.
Oblivion wasn't pain, and there was a peaceful inevitability to it.
It was endless nothing, a nothing I found myself gravitating towards. But before I could envelope myself in that darkness, it was spitting me back out.
The next thing I knew, I was in a white room, a slow beeping sound tearing me from slumber. I had a vague memory of slow spreading roses blossoming across my shirt, like summer flowers blooming.
Everything was white.
The walls, the ceiling, and my clothes.
Sensation hit me in slow waves.
Exhaustion.
I felt it tightening its grip around my brain, dragging me back onto a mountain of pillows when I tried to jump up. My Aunt May was sitting next to me on a plastic chair, her warm fingers entangled in mine. Aunt May and Mom were practically twins, with the same thick red hair and pale skin.
Mom wore her hair in a casual ponytail, while May preferred a strict bun.
I had to bite back the urge to yank my hand away.
Aunt May was asleep, used tissues filling her lap.
There was a nurse pottering around, checking my vitals and prodding my arms. My eyes felt heavy. I had to blink several times to keep myself awake.
“Charlie?”
The nurse’s voice was like wind-chimes.
I pretended not to notice her forced lipstick smile, the way she stood with her arms folded, staring at me like I was one of my cousin’s experiments. “You were in an accident, sweetie,” the nurse spoke up. I could see her trembling hands. “Just, um, try and rest, okay?”
I wanted to ask where my family was, but I already knew the answer.
I think she knew that too.
“You died, Charlie.” The nurse’s voice was eerily cold. “You were dead for thirteen minutes.”
She took slow steps towards me, her eyes growing frenzied, like she couldn't understand me, like I was a puzzle she could not solve– and it was driving her crazy. I could see it in her twitching hands, her wobbling lips that were trying and failing to appear stoic.
“In fact, I just pulled you out of the morgue, honey. I opened up your body bag that I had just zipped up, and told your aunt that you were a miracle I just… can’t understand.” The nurse sounded like she was trying to choke down a laugh, or maybe a sob.
“Charlotte, you were pronounced dead at 3:02am from a gunshot wound to the chest.” Taking a slow, sobering breath, the nurse tried to smile. “The bullet went through the right ventricle of your heart and severely damaged your left lung, rendering you unable to breathe. Your heart stopped, and after four attempts to resuscitate, we called it.”
Something slimy wound its way up my throat when she began to pace the room. “I… did all the paperwork. It took me two minutes. Your death certificate was signed, and your body was taken to the morgue to be prepped for transportation. Then I had my lunch. Tuna salad with a protein milkshake. I’m not a fan of the chocolate flavor.”
She shook her head. “Anyway, when I came back to you, you were awake inside your body bag.” Her voice was starting to break. “You were…um, alive, and asked me for apple soda.”
The nurse moved closer, and yet kept her distance.
I could feel myself moving back, panic writhing through me.
“So.” The nurse spoke calmly. “How the fuck are you still alive, Charlie?”
I think I passed out after that.
When I woke up again, my head a lot less heavier, the nurse was gone.
Slowly, my foggy brain began to find itself and connect dots.
My mouth was dry, full of cotton.
There was a sudden tightness, a sharp and cruel sting in my wrists.
Something sharp was protruding into my flesh, and no matter how many times I violently wrenched my arm, it was stuck. It didn't feel right to be able to breathe so easily.
I knew the second I woke that my Mom was dead.
Lily and PJ were dead, and it was like losing them all over again.
As clarity came over me, I found my voice, a strangled cry escaping my lips.
“Get it out.” I whispered in a shrill cry.
Tugging at the IV in my wrist, I tried to yank the needle from my skin.
“Get it out!” I shrieked, my gaze glued to the tiny spots of blood staining the insertion point.
I could see it again.
So much blood.
Mom was curled up on the floor, lying in slow spreading red that wouldn't stop, seeping across her beaded rug.
She was all over me, slick on my skin and caked in my fingernails.
I couldn't wash her off of me.
“You're okay, Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice came from my right, stabling me to reality.
The world started to move again, started to make sense again, when she cupped my cheeks and told me to breathe. When I opened my mouth to ask where my family were, she lightly shook her head and I swallowed my words. Aunt May handed me a glass of water, and I drained it in one gulp.
She told me I was a miracle.
Aunt May didn't say much, and when she did, she broke into sobs.
Her eyes were raw from crying, clinging onto me, her shuddery voice reassuring me that I was going to be okay.
She told me I would be living with her from now on, before wrapping me into a hug and leaving to get coffee.
Once my aunt was gone, another nurse came to prod my IV.
I tried to sleep, but the uncomfortable tightness of the needle sticking into my skin and the sterile white lights in my eyes made it impossible. I waited for grief to catch up with me, drowning me in a hollow oblivion I wouldn't be able to claw myself out of. But I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel angry.
I wanted to know why my family were dead.
I wanted to know why I was breathing, and their skin was ice cold.
Rotting.
The sudden image of maggots crawling up my brother’s nose sent me lurching into a sitting position, my stomach heaving. Reaching for my glass of water, it was empty. The sensation of throwing up felt familiar, almost comforting.
Mom was always with me when I was sick, holding my hair back and lulling my hysteria with reassuring murmurs.
I was frowning at the trash can by the door, my cotton candy brain trying to figure out if I would be able to make it in time, when a small voice drifted from the doorway, startling me.
“I don't want you to come live with us.”
My cousin was peeking through the door, hiding behind a shock of dark brown curls. Jude was the only brunette in our family. The rest of us were redheads.
I wasn't sure why he was dressed up like a ghost, draped in a white cloak that was way too big for him. Jude was a weird kid. His mother, and my auntie, had inherited the family house, so in his mind, that made him superior.
Jude made it clear he didn't like his cousins, refusing to let us play with him and banning us from family gatherings.
When the adults were drinking cocktails and losing their awareness, Jude ordered us around. The times we did play with him, our cousin showed us his spider collection, or the raccoon brain he kept in a jar. PJ was convinced our younger cousin was a serial killer. Several months earlier, he'd happily showed us the roadkill he'd been growing bacteria on under his bed.
Jude’s ‘experiments’ were worrying.
He stuffed mushrooms down my brother’s ears while he was sleeping, to, and I quote, “Recreate The Last Of Us.”
When Lily had a nosebleed during Thanksgiving dinner, Jude collected all her bloody tissues and refused to tell us where he'd put them, and what he had done with them. Fast-forward two months, and I found them under a nest of spiders. Jude was trying to adapt the spiders to be able to feed on human blood. I was surprised my cousin hadn't immediately demanded to see my siblings’ dead bodies for autopsy.
Jude stepped into the room, shuffling his feet.
“I'm sorry about Lily, PJ, and Aunt Ivy.” He mumbled, glaring at the floor tiles.
My cousin made no move to offer real sympathy, instead speaking to the floor.
“But I don't want you to come live with us.” Jude lifted his head, looking me dead in the eye. “I don't like you, Charlie. I want you to stay away.”
Before I could reply, he stepped back like I was diseased.
“You should be dead.” Jude grumbled.
He scowled at me, getting my age purposely wrong as usual before running off.
“Happy 68th birthday.”
I was six months older than him.
In Jude’s eyes, I was ready for retirement.
Still, though, my cousin was right.
I was stone cold dead, and then I was somehow alive.
Which was wrong.
Growing up, I realized Death was not so subtly attempting to fix his mistake.
It started small. I'd choke on things I wasn't supposed to choke on.
Chips.
Candy.
Ice cream.
Aunt May had to perform the heimlich manoeuvre when I choked on a piece of chicken. I thought I was just really unlucky, but then I locked myself in a freezer that didn't have a lock, and almost drowned in the local swimming pool, catching my foot in stray netting.
At the summer fair, Jude convinced me to try apple bobbing, only for my head to conveniently get stuck underwater.
It started to make sense.
I was supposed to die with my family that night, and death was out to get me.
Death started to get clever, changing his tactic. Instead of using everyday things to try to kill me, he sent reinforcements.
I turned twelve years old, and my aunt threw me a huge party, inviting all my classmates. Aunt May was rich, rich.
Mom never explained it, but our grandparents left everything to May.
The house was like a palace, a labyrinth of floors I was yet to explore, and two swimming pools.
I was in the kitchen cutting myself a slice of cake, when, out of nowhere, a dead boy came rushing at me with one of my aunt’s favorite kitchen knives.
A dead boy who I immediately recognised.
Wren Oliver.
Several years prior, he'd gone missing from his parents' yard. The town launched a full investigation, only to find his body in a ditch a week later.
So, Death had sent a footsoldier.
Hiding under a hooded sweatshirt, Wren appeared older, like he had grown up with me. But there was a startling vacancy in his expression that drew the breath from my lungs, freezing me in place. Wren’s death was announced as an accident, though his wounds suggested the opposite, dried blood smearing his right temple and a cavernous hole in his chest, his clothes painted, stained, in bright red, glued in sticky mounds clinging to him.
The boy’s eyes were wild, feral, like an animal.
His hair was longer, a mess of reddish curls matted to his forehead.
Lip split into a demented giggle.
I remember taking a slow step back, my gaze glued to the knife.
Wren’s fingers were wrapped around the handle like he knew exactly how to use it, how to plunge it into my heart and kill me for good. He moved like a predator, zero self awareness or recognition, only driven to kill me.
The dead boy prided himself in slow, intimidating steps, shoving me against the wall and dragging the blade of the knife down the curve of my throat.
His eyes confused me, writhing with hatred that was artificial, programmed into him as Death’s official soldier.
He didn't speak, only smiled, revelling in my fear. I could tell it thrilled him, my trembling hands, my sharp, heavy breaths I couldn't control. Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited to finally die.
I waited for the pain, and to lose my breath once again.
But death was playing with me.
When I opened my eyes, the dead boy was gone, and I was on my knees, screaming.
“Wren Oliver is trying to kill me!" I managed to hiss.
My aunt knelt in front of me, her expression crumpling.
*Sweetie,” She spoke softly, squeezing my hands. Aunt May was trying to appear calm for my sake, but I could tell she was scared, her frantic eyes searching mine. “Wren Oliver is dead.”
The kids surrounding me started to giggle, whispering among themselves.
In the corner of my eye, my cousin was leaning against the door, mid eye roll.
When my aunt was ushering kids back to the pool, Jude came to crouch in front of me. Ever since I started living with him, he'd made sure to keep his distance.
This time, though, Jude leaned uncomfortably close, a sparkle in his eyes I had never seen before. Inclining his head, he rocked back and forth on his heels, prodding me in the forehead.
“If you see the dead boy again, can you tell me?” His lips curved into a smile.
“I did see him.” I gritted out. “I’m not lying.”
Jude shrugged. “I never said you didn't,” he lowered his voice into a whisper, “I wanna know when you see him again.”
“Why?”
His lips curved into a smirk.
“So, I can catch him.”
My cousin got closer, his breath tickling my cheek.
“I seeeeeeee dead people.”
After that incident, death left me alone for a while.
I was fifteen, walking through the forest with a friend, catching fireflies in bell jars. Aunt May was lucky to live so close to the forest, the entrance just outside her back door. When we were littles, PJ would drag Lily and I down the trail to escape Jude’s weird experiments.
I decided to invite Jem Littlewood on a summer walk.
Jem was cute, but in a dorky way. He was chronically clumsy, and dressed like he'd been spat out of a John Hughes movie. We hiked all the way to the end of the river and had a picnic, watching the sun set over the horizon. I was having conflicting feelings for this guy.
Jem was obsessed with fireflies.
Though he seemed more interested in photographing them than me.
The guy couldn't seem to sit still, jumping to his feet to marvel at tiny specks of light dancing in the air.
“I'm just going to take photos!” Jem beamed, holding up his camera.
I had to bite back the urge to say, “Don't you have enough photos?”
I nodded, and he turned and sprinted back down the trail.
Before his footsteps ground to a sudden halt.
At first, I thought he was snapping polaroids.
When I got closer, though, blinking in the eerie dark, I caught something.
Bending down, I picked up a bell jar still spilling fireflies.
Further down the trail, Jem was lying crumpled in the dirt, his camera smashed to pieces next to him, blood running in thick rivulets down his temple. There he was. Leaning against a tree, his arms folded, was the ghost boy. Wren Oliver was growing up with me. Now, a teenager, and yet his face was carved into something else entirely, more of a monster, slight points to his ears and too-sharp teeth, eyes ignited.
Wren didn't look like a ghost boy anymore.
Death had dressed him in shackles of ivy, a crown of glass and bone forced onto his head, entangled in his curls. Death was torturing him. Wren’s flesh was its canvas, and every time I got away, he was punished, painting his failures across scarred flesh. I should have been running for my life, but I was mesmerised by each symbol cruelly carved into his neck.
The boy did a slow head incline, like he couldn't believe I was standing in front of him.
His slow spreading smile caught me off guard.
I remembered how to run, stumbling over my feet.
But I couldn't move.
The burning hatred that death had filled him with, was stronger, hollowing him out completely. I managed two shaky steps, before I felt him, an unearthly force winding its way around my spine. This time, he didn't hesitate.
I watched his mouth move, a single curve of his upper lip that wrenched my body from my control, slamming me against a tree. There was something around my throat, choking the breath from my lungs, a thick fog spreading over my eyes. Following his mouth curving into silent letters, I could feel my feet slowly leaving the ground, my legs dangling.
I was floating.
Hovering off of the ground, suspended by his words.
Through half lidded eyes, I caught the glint of a blade between his fist, but I couldn't move, couldn't scream.
He was drowning me, bleeding into my blood, spider webbing and expanding in my brain without moving a muscle.
Instead, the ghost boy stood silently, running his thumb down the teeth of his knife while he ripped my lungs apart.
It was like suffocating, sinking into that peaceful oblivion I met at eight years old.
This time, though, the darkness was starving.
“Charlie?”
My eyes found daylight, a scream clawing out of my mouth.
“Charlie, it's past curfew!”
Wren flinched, his stoic expression crumpling.
The dead boy’s lips moved again, this time in a curse.
Fuck.
“Charlotte!”
Staggering back, Wren’s eyes widened and the suffocating hold on me severed.
His head snapped in the direction my aunt was coming from.
“Charlie, answer me right now.”
He hesitated, his bare feet pivoting in the dirt, like he was considering finishing me off. Wren studied me with lazy eyes, sucking on his bottom lip. When my aunt's footsteps got louder, branches snapping under her shoes, something contorted in the boy’s face.
Fear.
I guessed the boy wasn't expecting other humans to intrude.
Wren fell over himself, shuffling on his hands and knees, before diving to his feet. When he turned and ran, I was released, slipping to the ground, trying and failing to draw in breath. I barely felt the impact, only a dull thudding pain. I could hear the ghost boy’s footsteps, his uneven, shuddery breaths as he catapulted into a run.
Under a late setting sun, I watched his dancing shadow disappear into the trees.
Mission unsuccessful, I guessed.
When I was fully conscious, Aunt May was checking over Jem, helping him sit up.
“Where did he go?” I managed to get out, scanning the darkness for Wren.
“He's okay, just concussed.” May whispered, dialling 911.
My aunt applied a dressing to Jem’s wound, ignoring the boy’s hisses.
“Keep still.” she murmured, smoothing his bandaid. “What happened, Charlotte?”
“She pushed me over.” Jem groaned, shuffling away from me. When my aunt told him to stay calm, he straightened up, leaning against the tree. “The psycho bitch tried to fucking kill me!”
When my aunt's gaze flicked to me, I shook my head.
“It was Wren Oliver.” I gritted, teetering on hysteria. I could tell she didn't believe me, but I couldn't stop myself. I prodded at my throat, clawing for the indentations where his phantom fingers snaked around my neck, squeezing the breath from my lungs.
But there was nothing.
I could feel my mind starting to unravel. I nodded to my disgruntled classmate trying to dodge my aunt’s prodding.
“Ow, ow, ow! That stings!
“He knocked Jem out.” I managed. “Then he tried to kill me.”
Jem surprised me with a scoff. “You're seriously blaming your psychotic break on a dead kid?”
Aunt May pursed her lips, motioning for Jem to be quiet. Judging from her face, however, she agreed with the boy.
May forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. “Okay. Can you, uh, describe the boy to me, Charlotte?”
“He was wearing a crown,” I said, “And he looked my age.”
Aunt May cocked her head, and I saw real worry, like she was trying not to freak out. Jem made a snorting noise.
“I'm sorry, he was wearing a crown?”
“Yes!” I insisted, getting progressively more frustrated.
I tried to jump up, only for my aunt to gently lower me back down. “I know it sounds crazy, but death has sent Wren Oliver to kill me, just like my family. He tried to kill me when I was twelve, too!”
Jem let out a bitter laugh. “Your niece is a fucking wackadoodle.”
Aunt May’s eyes darkened. She grabbed my shoulders, her nails stabbing into my skin. “Charlie, I want you to listen to me, okay?” When my eyes found the rapidly darkening sky, my aunt forced me to look at her.
“Charlotte!”
She was as scared as me, her voice shuddering.
“Wren Oliver is dead.” My aunt said firmly, shaking me. Even then, though, I wasn't even looking at her. I was trying to find his ignited eyes lighting up the dark. “Wren died at eight years old in a terrible accident, and you can't keep using him as an excuse for your mental trauma.” There was something twitching in her expression I was trying to make sense of. When I risked a look at Jem, the boy was staring at me dazedly– like I really was crazy.
Aunt May pressed her face into my shoulder, and I could feel her tears soaking into my shirt. She was trying to hold it together, trying to understand.
“Charlie, I know you lost your family,” she whispered. “But you and Wren Oliver are not the same. You survived, and he didn't.” Her voice splintered.
“You need to come to terms with that, okay?”
When I didn't respond, she pinched my chin, forcing me to look at her.
“Charlotte.”
Aunt May’s voice turned cold. “I ignored this when you were a kid, but if you continue to use this poor boy as a coping mechanism, I will have no choice but to send you to a specialist.”
When Jem was taken away by paramedics, Aunt May held my hand, squeezing my fingers for dear life.
I caught her gaze scanning the tree's around us, delving into twisting oblivion. Every little noise sent her twisting around. She was looking for something.
“I'm going to get you help.” Aunt May said in a low murmur when we were back at the house. Jude was sitting on the kitchen counter, legs swinging. I could feel his penetrating gaze burning into the back of my head.
Aunt May set a cup of cocoa on the table.
“No more fairytales.”
By the time I was eighteen, I had bitten three therapists.
They refused to believe that death was coming to reclaim my soul, and was using a dead boy to do his dirty work.
For my 16th birthday, I braced myself to come face to face with Wren Oliver’s ghost.
I wasn't even in town, staying at a friend's house.
But dead boys, and especially dead boys moulded into Death’s personal soldiers, could materialise anywhere.
I locked every door in the house, and taped up my friend’s window.
Nothing happened.
On my seventeenth birthday, I was sick in bed with gastritis.
Still no ghost boy.
Death seemed to have finally left me alone.
On my eighteenth birthday, I was stuffing books in my locker when my cousin popped up out of nowhere, scowling as usual. After an unexpected growth spurt and losing a tonne of baby fat, my cousin had scaled the high school hierarchy, swapping his weird experiments for a varsity jacket and experimenting with his sexuality.
The two of us had come to an unspoken truce.
I kept quiet about his spider collection to his popular friends, and he tolerated my existence until I left for college.
“Your surprise party is cancelled.”
Jude leaned against my locker, running a hand through thick dark hair tucked under a baseball cap. Jude never admitted it, but he was definitely embarrassed of being the odd one out.
My siblings may be dead, but they were still redheads.
I pulled off his cap with a smile, throwing it in his face. “Sure it is.”
My cousin’s eyes widened. He lost his slick bravado, grabbing for his cap.
“Hey!”
According to my cousin, my party was unexpectedly cancelled every year.
I wasn't sure if it was his weird superiority complex, or just plain jealousy, but it was getting exhausting.
Jude followed me down the hallway, matching my stride.
“Can you just not come home tonight?”
I quickened my pace. “It's only a party. I'm having some friends over, and no, we won't go anywhere near your room.”
“No, I mean.” Jude stepped in front of me, and for the first time in a while, he wasn't trying to hide disdain for me.
His dark eyes pinned me in place for a moment, the world around us coming to a halt. Sound bled away, and all I heard were his slow breaths. There was something there, an unexplainable twitch in his eyes and lips, that twisted my gut.
Jude stepped closer, his lip curling. He shoved me back, losing his facade.
“Stay the fuck away from the house tonight.” He said, and his voice, his tone, was enough to send shivers creeping down my spine. Jude had always hid behind a ten foot wall in his mind. It was jarring to see something in him finally start to splinter. Fuck. I thought.
This kid had serious Mommy issues.
I blinked, and the world resumed, kids pushing past us.
Jude seemed to catch himself, slipping back under his mask.
“I'm having friends over,” he rolled his eyes, “Your presence will ruin the vibe.”
“It's my birthday?”
He groaned, tipping his head back. “Yes, I know. But–”
“I think you can deal with the attention off of you for one night, Jude.”
“Will Wren Oliver be there too?” Jem Littlewood hollered.
Jude didn't respond for a moment, his lip curling.
“Shut the fuck up.” He spat at Jem, who immediately backed down. With an audience this time, Jude forced an award winning smile. “Fine.” His lips split into a grin I knew he hated. My cousin clamped his hand on my shoulder, hard enough to hurt. I could feel his fingers pinching the material of my jacket. “Have it your way, dude.”
Jude backed away with a two fingered salute.
“Happy 78th birthday!”
In a sense, I wish I listened to my cousin.
My party was a success, sort of.
Four of us, a crate of beers, and no sign of my cousin.
I was mildly tipsy, sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling my legs in the water when my friend demanded more beers.
I was also hungry for cake, so I stumbled inside in search of the goods.
The house was dark, lit up in dazzling blue from the pool's lights reflecting through the windows. Aunt May was in her office on the ground floor, and Jude was getting high in his room. In my drunken state, I found myself marvelling my aunt's house, and how much of it was left unexplored.
For example, in the foyer, past the spiral staircase she’d had custom made, was an elevator I had never questioned.
There was a girl my age standing on the staircase.
She was frozen, mid run, dressed in ragged jeans and t-shirt.
Everything about her stuck out to me, bringing me to a sobering halt.
The girl reminded me of my sister– or at least, if my sister had ever grown up.
I wasn't sure if I was drunk or hallucinating.
Her flower crown was pretty…
Lily had grown wings.
I was slowly moving towards her, a sudden bang sounding from the kitchen.
The bang of something shattering on the floor.
Twisting around, I found myself gravitating towards warm golden light.
The first thing I saw was the refrigerator door hanging open, and someone, no, something, rooting around inside it.
Glued to the spot, I dazedly watched them grab milk, guzzling it down, and then soda, cracking open each can and sucking them dry, before carving their fingers into my birthday cake. But I wasn't looking at the spillage of food seeping across the floor. Instead, my gaze found a crown of antlers, both human and animal bone entangled with dead flowers and human remains glued to a head of familiar matted brown curls.
There was something sticking from battered and bruised flesh, twin gaping slits sliced through a torn shirt resembling glass wings that were not yet formed, reminding me of a butterfly.
Wings.
But not the wings I dreamed of as a kid. These things were unnatural mounds that both did and didn't make sense on a human boy. I could see the trauma of them slicing through his flesh, monstrous, looming things protruding from what was left of a human spine.
Human, and yet I couldn't call his beautifully grotesque face human.
Wren Oliver had grown up with me, now an adult.
Eighteen years old.
His clothes confused me, a single white shirt and shorts.
Wren’s feet were bare, battered and bruised, blood smearing my aunt's tiles.
Angel.
Death had turned his footsoldier, and my future killer, into an angel.
But there was nothing angelic about the dead boy, his body and mind sculpted and moulded into Death’s own.
The boy no longer resembled a human, feral eyes and a manic smile, choking down pieces of cake. His face had been contorted into a monster, gnashing teeth and sharp points in his ears, a sickly tinge to malnourished skin.
And that's when it hit me, watching him stuff himself with food.
Something slimy inched its way up my throat.
The boy didn't move. I don't even think he'd noticed me, gorging himself on anything he could get his hands on.
Chicken, raw bacon, leftover salad.
When he moved onto cupcakes, licking frosting from his fingers, I glimpsed markings on his arms, a language I didn't understand, carved into him.
His wrists were shackled, bound, in entangled iron and vine, iron that was ingrained into his skin, vines and flowers and ivy entangling his bones, that were part of him, polluting his blood. Slowly, my eyes found stab wounds splitting open his torso.
Raw flesh, where his skin had been torched, melting, and then merging, ripped apart and put back together over and over again.
I found his heart, the gaping cavern in his chest where it should be.
And it was.
Marked, carved, and branded with a symbol resembling an X.
Wren Oliver was not dead.
But, just like me, he should have been.
I remember saying his name, my voice slurred slightly.
I didn't drink that much, but I could barely coerce words, my head spinning.
Wren’s neck snapped towards me, his eyes narrowing with resentment I couldn't understand, hatred that seemed to puppeteer him. Slowly tilting his head, the boy’s lips split into a grin, eyes filled, polluted, with mania. I could see where his lips had been stitched shut, and then ripped open.
“Hi.”
He held up his hand in an awkward wave.
When one of my friends stumbled into the kitchen, Wren reacted on impulse.
He picked up a knife from the counter, throwing it like a dart, straight through the guy’s throat.
Something shattered inside my mind.
Ignoring my friend bleeding out, Wren stumbled over himself, abandoning his feast. He took a single step towards me, backing me against the wall, coming so close, close enough for me to feel his very real breath grazing my cheeks. Just like when he was a kid, he traced the teeth of his blade down my throat. I wasn't expecting him to burst out laughing, trembling with hysteria.
His eyes were wild, feral and wrong, almost euphoric.
With what all I could only recognise as relief.
BANG.
I was barely aware of the gunshot.
The bullet went straight through his head, the winged boy hitting the ground.
Dead.
I saw the blood stemming around him in a halo before the bleeding pool faltered, seeping back inside his head.
Like rewinding a VCR.
Wren was dead, and then he was alive.
Wren’s body contorted, his chest inflating.
His gasp for air was painful, strangled, eyes opening wide.
Terrified.
“You fucking idiot.”
Jude’s voice sent me twisting around.
My cousin stood in the exact same robes he wore as a child.
The world tipped off kilter, and I was on my knees, then my stomach.
I sunk to the floor, my thoughts swimming.
Jude’s murmur followed me, creeping into the dark.
“I told you not to come home.”
I can't remember how long I was unconscious for.
When I woke, I was dressed in an evening gown, a dress that used to be my mother’s.
My vision cleared, and I found myself sitting in an unfamiliar room resembling an abandoned swimming hall.
The pool itself was empty, the bottom stained revealing scarlet.
There were symbols carved into each tile.
Like a game.
“Sit up straight, Charlotte.”
I was sitting at a banquet.
Jude was in front of me, sipping on wine.
He caught my eye for half a second before averting his gaze.
At the far end of the table sat my aunt May.
Kissing the rim of her glass, her smile was twisted.
“I've been waiting so long to give you your birthday presents, Charlotte. Your memories should be returning soon.”
“Mom.” Jude muttered, hiding behind his glass. “Calm down. You're embarrassing yourself.”
Ignoring my cousin, May tapped her glass with a fork, and in walked my birthday presents.
No, dragged.
By their hair.
Wren Oliver, the dead boy, was in fact my aunt's prisoner.
Behind him, was the girl who looked so much like Lily.
I think that's why my aunt chose her.
Aunt May cleared her throat.
“For a long time, our family has lived among creatures who live in the forest you played inside! In exchange for keeping this town safe, they only ask for small favors. Wayward children who disappear into the woods are good enough payment. However, you and your siblings do not share our inheritance. Your mother never wanted fae children. She wanted you to be human.”
Aunt May’s smile faded.
“After losing my sister, and my niece and nephew, I made a deal to give my last surviving niece 100 years of life.”
Her words were white noise, my gaze glued to my birthday presents. I couldn't call them human anymore.
I couldn't call Wren human, when his face was so beautifully grotesque, painfully hypnotising.
The monstrous things sticking from twin slits in his back were supposed to be wings, except they looked wrong, cruelly protruding from his exposed spine. Under the influence of alcohol earlier, the girl made me smile.
Her wings, to me, looked like one of a real fairy.
In reality, they were torn and shredded apart, bigger than the girl herself.
When she dropped onto her stomach, she was dragged back to her feet, her knees buckling under the weight. Her tiara of flowers and bone looked pretty to me when I saw her on the stairs.
Now, though, I could see the pearly white of a human child's skull forced onto her head, dead flowers threaded through cavernous, gaping eye sockets.
The two of them were violently shoved into the empty pool.
“Jude. Please demonstrate, sweetheart.”
Jude stood, pulling out a gun, and aiming it at the winged girl.
BANG.
The girl’s body hit the tiles, her blood seeping across stained white.
“Now, of course, our king did not give you life for free.” May continued.
“The King demanded a debt, as well as two heirs to join him in his court once your hundred years were complete.”
Her lips quirked into a smile.
“The king is smart. If a child cannot be stolen from the human world, they can, however, be made, moulded and shaped from their human forms, skinned of their humanity through their suffering, leaving a hollowed out shell in the child's place.” She was speaking so casually, ignoring Wren’s whimpers.
“The conversion takes a while. 100 years to birth a fully blooded fae heir, who will lose their human memories, in preparation to join their new family.”
Jude shot Wren in the chest, his eyes empty.
This time, he dropped his weapon, using finger-guns instead.
“Bang.” He deadpanned.
Then the neck.
I watched Wren come back to life, and then die.
Over and over again.
I think at one point, he screamed and cried.
But not now.
He was their puppet on display, dancing for their entertainment.
Half lidded eyes drowned in oblivion found mine, and I understood his hatred.
Before he was shot again.
Stabbed.
Branded and burned, and ripped apart.
At some point, I screamed at them to stop. I couldn't breathe, slamming my hands over my ears and begging them.
Aunt May didn't listen, ordering for my hands to be tied down.
“The King required two human sacrifices to suffer in your place.” She concluded. “For one hundred years.”
Aunt May’s smile was suddenly sad, and she lifted her glass in a toast.
I was watching their blood trickle down each tile in the pool, like every death, every time they suffered, my body became progressively less human.
I felt disgusting. I wasn't supposed to be alive. Every single year of my life, every breath I had taken, was stolen.
Aunt May nodded at me, her lips forming a proud smile. She stood up, and was handed a sacrificial knife.
Climbing into the swimming pool herself, she strode over to Wren.
The boy slumped to the floor, trembling, his knees against his chest.
Aunt May grabbed him by the hair, forcing his head up, and sliced the blade across his throat.
His eyes flicked to me, and I swore, he smiled.
Spots of red dotted yellowing tiles, a river trickling under my aunt's heels.
“Happy 78th birthday, Charlotte.”
Last night ended with me being locked in my room.
It's been almost 15 hours, and the door is still locked. Please help me. I'm fucking terrified of what my aunt is planning.
I can't stop shgajing. FycjbfucibFUCK
If she is telling the truth, I shouldn't be here, right??
And I can't stop thinking.
Is Wren Oliver trying to kill me, or himself?

(An animation shows black and white clouds parting) Charles: (Off-screen) Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucy was one of these angels. She was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But she was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt her way of thinking was dangerous to the perder of their world. So she watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Eve (I couldn't think of a female name that looked like Adam) and Lilian. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Eve demanded control and Lilian refused to submit to her will. He fled the garden. Drawn in by his fierce independence, Lucy found him and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve's new groom, Adam, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse. For the single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucy and her love into the dark pit she had created, never allowing her to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucy lost her will to dream. But Lilian thrived, empowering demon-kind with his voice and his songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilian's hope remained. And his dream was passed down to their precious son, the Prince of Hell. (The prince shuts the "Story Of Hell" book) (On-screen) Don't worry, Dad. I'll make you proud. (He holds a key) Vagner: Charles? Charles: Augh! (The key turns into a cat) Oh, shit. Did you hear all that? Vagner: Uh... Yeah, I was right there. Charles: Sorry. I get worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps. Vagner: (chuckles) I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay? Charles: I'm fine, just...Thinking, ya know, family stuff. Vagner: Did you hear from your dad yet? (Charles shakes his head saying no) Vagner: Oof. How long has it been now? Charles: Not that long, only...Seven...Years...Off something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something he really cared about. Something I care about. Vagner: Well, at least you aren't alone. Charles: I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work. Vagner: It will. I have faith in you. (The cat hopes on Charles) Vagner: All right. Come on. Alice says she has something to show us. (Vagner heads to the door and Charles look out of the window and see Hell on fire and goes) (A commercial plays) Alice: Well, hello there you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do. That's why you're in Hell! But what would you say there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucy's delusional son Charleson Morningstar! Come place your fate in his inexperienced hands as he tries to work through his mommy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun thing! Such as somewhat functional staff! And 24 hour Pest Control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! You last desperate attempt at salvation starts here. (The tv suits off) Alice: So, what'd ya' think? Vagner: I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?! Charles: Uh, yeah, one note...Alice, I mean...First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um...maybe the tone is a bit...Off? We want people to want to come here, this makes it look...ummm... Vagner: Bad. The word you're looking for is "bad". Alice: Funny, I was going for hilarious! Vagner: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point. Charles: Vagner is right, Alice. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them. Alice: Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But YOU insisted on this noisy picture box adversiment! So I had a little fun with it. Vagner: Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? (Stand on the sofa) Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run the hotel! Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time! (A demon on a sofa raises her hand) Vagner: What? Angela: If'n ya filmin' a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here? Vagner: Angela, you're a porn star. Angela: A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' these walls down to get in. Vagner: We are not filming a porn as a commercial. Angela: Why not? Sex sells, don't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mistress fancy talk-creepy voice here, you'd rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel. Alice: Haha! Never going to happen! Charles: Angela, I appreciate you wanting to use you special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but...I really don't want to exploit you, in that way! Angela: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity-- Oh-oh I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes... (Charles laughs uncomfortably and his phone rings with his mom calling) Angela: The small tits that make everyone think I'm a man... Charle: Uhhh, hold that thought. I'll be right back! (Walks away) Angela: I could keep goin' all night, baby. (Charles breathes and answers the phone) Charles: Hello? Mom? Angela: Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't she just make people stay here? Alice: Oh, trust me, (ominously) I can! Hisky: Why the hell do you think I'm here? (The camera goes to Hisky) Hisky: You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitches moan all the time if she wasn't forcin' me? Niffter: I like being forced! Hisky: Keep that to yourself, Niff. Angela: What, you don't like being here with me, Whiskers? Hisky: Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll that bottle down your throat. Angela: Kinky. But I like pussies. But keep talkin' dirty. Vagner: Ugh, Angela, let Hisky do her job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to. Angela: I'm choosing to be here, and I think is all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. It's kind of the end of the road, ain't it? Vagner: Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it before doesn't mean is not possible. (Angela pust her arm in his shoulder) Angela: Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin' here rent free. Crack is expensive. Charles: (excitedly) Yeah, I acn totally. Yeah, I'll head over there right away...Okay. (Turns off the phone) Hah! YES! YES!!Hahahaha!! Vagner! Holy shit! Vagner: Ahh! What?! Charles: (through closed mouth) Get over here! (Vagner sighs and goes to where Charles is) Vagner: What's going on? Charles: (Inhales) My mom just called. She said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. She asked if I could go instead. (Breathes deeply) Vagner: But... But-- But tbe extermination just happened. What would they want this soon after... Charles: (Singing) I can do this. Somehow, I know it I'll get Heaven behind my plan! Vagner: Charles, hold on. Charles: There's just no way I could blow it. Not this once a lifetime change! Vagner: It's just a meeting. Charles: To change their minds. And touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have. Vagner: This could be bad. Charles: Cheer up, Vagner. This could be swell. Something tells that today will be a happy day in Hell! Vagner: Okay, but just don't... sing to them. Angela: That motherfucker is halfway down the street. Vagner: Is he... Angela: Oh, he's dancin'. Vagner: Ugh, no. Charles: There's a warm fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air! Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare. It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere! If you don't mind the smell! It's a happy day in Hell! Hi, miss! Demon: Go fuck yourself! Dead Sinner #1: There's a endless trash fire that's burnig my soul! Charles: Hello! Imp: There's a lot of barbed wire to shove in her holes! Charles: Uh, excuse me... Executioner: Doing what is required we all have a role! Dead Sinner #2: I'm not doing well! Ensemble: Another shitty day in Hell! Charles: If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, that any soul can change! Vagner: Those angels minds are hard to change! Charles: Then they know that everyone can be redeemed from the evil to the strange! Vagner: They're bloodthirsty and deranged! Charles: I can hear all their stories, the lost and the displaced! And I know that they're of an acquired taste! But if I open the door and give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel it'll be a happy day in Hell! (Jumps in the back of a truck) From the porn studio where the cinephiles go to watch award winning demon bukkake shows to the Cannibal Town where they don't wear a frown 'cause...Holy shit, ew, my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that her brains got in my eye! Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this... Dead Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire... Charles: I just know it! Dead Sinner #1: That's burnig my soul! Chorus: Ah! Charles: I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's just no way I could blow it! Demon Sinner #3: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole! Charles: Not this once in a lifetime chance! To change their minds! Trenchcoat Demon: And touch my parts! Charles: Oh...No, thank you. I'm just gonna...Fullfill my destiny! Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss fucker! Charles: I can already tell! Today is gonna be a fucking happy day in Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell! (Charles enters at the lobby) Charles: Hello? (echoes) Hello? Creepy...(He goes to the reception, rings the bell in the table and a paper and a feather pen appear in front of him) Oh, okay! Also creepy. (Signs the paper) (Elevator doors open, Charles goes to them and enters in a dark room) Charles: Hello? Is anyone here? (The lights turn on) Eve: 'Sup? Charles: Holy shit! (Falls in the floor and gets up) Hi, I'm Charles. My mom asked if I could meet you. Eve: Yeah, I know. Charles: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. (Stands his hand) Eve: Totally. Nice to meet you, too. (Stands her hand) (Charles hand passes through Eve's hand) Charles: Ahh! Eve: Ha! I fucking got you! Did you fuckin' see that? (Luther shaves his head in yes) Eve: Good shit! Charles: Uh, so wait, you aren't here? Eve: No, you think I'd come down there? (Laughs) No. I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fuckin' hardcore, don't get me wrong. But, it's such a bummer, man. Everything down there's just so "eugh" ya know? (Chuckles) Ew. Charles: Right. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. There's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about...(Eve puts her finger in his mouth) Eve: Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other, mm? How about some lunch? You hungry? I got you! (Shows a plate with ribs) Here's my personal favourite. You'll love it. My husband's receipe. Charles: Uh, thanks! (His arms passes through the plate of ribs) Eve: (Laughing) I got you again, fucker! Haha fuckin' hilarious! Haha! (Back at the Hazbin Hotel, everyone is at the lobby) Vagner: Okay, so Charles is dealing with something very important, so while he's gone, we are making a new commercial. One that representants his vision and what we're doing here. So we need a camera. Alice? (Alice snaps her fingers and an old camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: a video camera. Alice: Hmm? (Snaps her fingers) (A video camera appears in Vagner's hand) Vagner: All right, let's do this! (Vagner films Angela sitting at the bar) Vagner: And...Action! Hisky: "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?" Angela: "I've been a bad girl. And I need a big strong mommy to put me in my place...On the path to redemption!" Hisky: Ugh! "Well, you come..." Angela: "Oh yes!" Hisky: (boredly) "To the right place!" Vagner: Cut! Okay, Angela, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Hisky, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face? Hisky: (Angrily) I ain't no actress, I can't memorize this shit! Angela: Well, we could improve this shit, baby cakes! (Purrs seductively and Hisky push her out of the counter) Ahh! Hisky: Whoops. (Drink a bottle) Vagner: Hisky, come on! (Meanwhile, Charles is bored) Eve: So I was playing this gig, and for some fucking reason this virtue boy was digging on the drummer, and it's like, do you know who I am? I'm fucking Eve. I'm the original pussy! All pussies descend from me. You think you drummer pussy? No way, I'm the Pussy-fucking master! (Eats sloppily) So anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend? Charles: Wait, your name is Eve? Like the first woman? That means you...Ohhh...(Enlightened) That explains so much. Eve: I know. I fucking rock. Charles: Well, Eve, ma'am. Mrs. Eve, ma'am. Eve: Call me Pussymaster. Charles: Eve, you seem like a smart...well, stand up girl. Eve: (With the finger in her teeth) Uh-huh. Charles: And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a bigger, a revolutionary, a...A genius! Eve: I maen, yout words, babe. Charles: Who would really her name on something. Eve: Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best! Charles: It's a solution to our biggest problem! Eve: Oh, herpes. Yeah, that's a bitch. Charles: No! Our other biggest problem. Eve: Oh, uh...Ugly people? (Looks the camera) Math? Global warming? Nah, wait that's Earth's problem. Umm... (At the hotel, a bug walks in the floor and a needle tries to stab it) Niffter: Hehehe. Stab. Stab. Stab. Vagner: Alright Niffter. Niffter? Niffter! (Stops him) Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms". Okay? Niffter: Got it. I'm ready. Vagner: (Turns on the camera) Action! (Niffter looks at the camera with his pupil constricted and Angela and Vagner look at him confused) Vagner: Uhh...Cut. (Turns off the camera) (Niffter smiles again) Niffter: (Giggles) How was that? Vagner: Well, Niffter, you actually have to say the line. So let's roll again. Niffter: Okay! Vagner: Action. (Niffter stares deeply at the camera) Angela: You're doing great, Vaginer! Vagner: Cut! Alright, um, maybe wr can try to fix it in the post. Angela: Do you even know what that means? Vagner: (Angrily) I'll figure it out! (In lobby, Vagner is watching the video with the camera connected to the tv) Hisky: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. (Vagner groans, covers his eyes and Alice appears in his side) Alice: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm? Vagner: Ugh, esta pendeja...Why are you even here? Alice: For the entertainment! I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you are doing now! Good job! Vagner: (Turns on the camera) And here is Alastor, the egocentric piece pf shit that... (Alice gets static on the camera and it starts to spark and Vagner screams and knocks the camera down) Alice: I wouldn't try that, my darling. (Sinisterly) This face was made for radio. Vagner: (Gets angry) That's it! I don't care who or what you are! If you are staying here you are going to make this work! Beause it won't be so "entertaining" to watch an empty hotel will it, shitass?! (Turns around and walks away) Alice: Fair enough. I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. Vagner: Pft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you. Alice: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or...Charles can come back to absolutely nothing! Your choice. Vagner: (Sighs) Fine. (Gets the video camera and raises in Alice's hand and green ghosted skulls fly around it) Alice: Now then! (Makes the camera disappear and snaps her fingers) (Angela, Hisky and Niffter, a lot of filming materials and a ghost recording team appear in the lobby and everyone gets tailor clothes) Vagner: Alright, everyone! Let's make a fucking commercial. (Meanwhile) Eve:...When you take him out for the fifth time and he still expects you to pay the check, but you're like, (In deep voice) "Hey I thought you wanted equality"! Charles: (Frustrated) No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell! Eve: (Normal) Ohh! Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered! Luther, how many demons did you kill this year? Luther: Got a good 275 this year, ma'am. Eve: 275? Whoa, badass! Awesome job, danger dick! Pound it. (Punch fists with Lute) Charles: Uh, no, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that, right? Eve: Ohhh, yeah...That must suck for you. Pft...Hahahaha! Charles: But these are souls. Human souls, just the same as the ones you have in Heaven. Luther: They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation. Charles: You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes. Luther: Angels don't make mistakes. Charles: You really think that? Luther: I know that. Eve: Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life. Luther: The only reason you're still here is because Mommy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter. (Charles shrinks back) Eve: Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it... Charles: Oh! Fuck!...(Get up from the chair) Okay. I've a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't really hearing before, so here goes. (Clears throat) (Singing) I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll. If we rehabe these sinners and cleanse all their souls at my Hazbin Hotel! (Normal) Wait I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination! (Singing) I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven that trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell! (Deep breath) It'll be a happy day in... Eve: (Singing) Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time! Charles: (Normal) Okay? Eve: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb! Up the ladder. Oh they rather cross the Pearly Gates! Sorry, sweetie, but there's no defying in their fates! 'Cause Hell is forever wheter you like it or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! 'Cause the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! Charles: Okay, but... Eve: Just try to chillax, babe, you're wasting your breath! Charles: (Nervously) Hehe... Eve: Did I hear you imply that they deserve death? Are they winners? Are they sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry! Charles: Actually, if you take a look... Eve: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye! And when all's said and done! (Said and done) There's the question of fun! (Fun) And for those of us with divine ordainment, extermination is entertainment! (Imitates guitar) Guitar solo, fuck yeah! (Imitates guitar) Hell is forever wheter you like or not! Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot! Charles: Where all this people come from? Eve: 'Cause the rules are black and white, there's no use in trying to fight it! They're burning for their lives until we kill them again! (materializes a guitar and play it) Fucking Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot! So give up your dumb endeavor 'cause you don't have a shot! (Charles groans, his paper gets on fire and his hair moves in the air and horns appear in his head) Eve: Long as I've got your attention, I guess In should probably mention that we made a determination (Shows a contract) To move up the next extermination! Charles: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts! (Hold Charles' wrist) I know is just been a week, but we'll be back in six months! (Spins Charles out of the room and plays her guitar) Charles: Um, wait, didn't you...(Goes at the door, but it closes) Awh, shit! (Punches the door) (Charles returns sad to the Hazbin Hotel) Vagner: Charles! (Hugs him) How did it go? Did they listen? Charles: Oh, uh...They sure did...hear it! But, um... Vagner: Oh! Come here. We have something exciting to show you! (Holds Charles to the living room) Alice pulled some strings, and it's about to air. Alice: I pulled a few limbs too! Hahaha! Charles: Wait? The commercial? You all made a new one? Angela: Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do can say so myself. Charles: That's...That's amazing. Angela: Shh! It's starting! Vagner: (On TV) Welcome to the Hazbin Hot... (The TV changes to the 666 News channel and everyone complains) Kallie: (On TV) Breaking news in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before! Do you know what that means, Tomita? Tomita: No. What does that means, Kallie? Kallie: It means we are all royally fucked! (The clock in an hourglass changes to 176 with everyone screaming) Angela: Wait...What? Why?! (A drone laser scans a headless body of an angel laying in Hell and Eve and Luther see then from the ship) Luther: We found the body, ma'am. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them! Eve: No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left to pull a stunt like this again. (Breaks the projector and her eyes and mouth glow in the dark) (The end credits start playing)
Sorry, Vivziepop, I had to

I worked for Taco Bell from May 1991 to 1994. My first job in high school. 3 of the 4 items below were served while I worked there. Along with the famed .59, .79, .99 cents menu at the same time I worked there.

1. The ORIGINAL late 80’s-early 90’s “STEAM TABLE” Green Sauce.

Yes, it was actually a hot(not cold) topping on the steam table. It WAS NOT on the cold side with the lettuce and cheese. It also had to be ordered, added to your burrito, Enchirito or Tostada. You would for example order your Bean Burrito minus the Red Sauce, add the Green Sauce. It WAS NOT in condiment packs next to straws and napkins like the Mild or Hot Sauce.
HOWEVER, for a very short time, maybe a year at the longest sometime early 2000’s, they did have it in condiment style packets upon request. Those packets though, were clear and larger in size, equivalent to about 3 packs of the Mild or Hot sauce packets.
NO, it was not the green Verde Sauce that came in the small Mild and Hot sauce size packets.
Wish they would bring this sauce back.

1. The original Steak Burrito. Late 80’s-early 90’s. This was a 10” tortilla, with the 3oz scope of steak, that steam table green sauce mentioned above, tater tots, sour cream, pico de gallo and cheddar cheese.

Was an amazing burrito, killer flavor.
Wish they would bring this item back.

1. The original Quad & Triple Steak Burritos. Only around for like 2011-2012. Extra Large tortilla filled with Triple or Quad portions of steak, with seasoned rice, sour cream, fire-roasted salsa and shredded cheddar cheese.

These were $4.99 and $3.99 respectfully and you’d have thought the roof was caving in on all Taco Bell customers. As this price for Taco Bell at that time was kinda viewed as bonkers. I think the most expensive burritos before that was $2.49 for a Burrito Supreme. Nacho Bellgrande and Taco Salad were the only items in the $3 and up range up until that point.
These were amazing at midnight, coming out of the 10pm showing at the local theater on a Friday night. Amazing.
Wish they’d bring one of these big boys back.
BONUS Adding a 4th item…The original Chicken Burrito. Early 90’s. 10” flour tortilla, grilled chicken, steam table Mexican Pizza Sauce, sour cream, onions, lettuce and shredded cheddar cheese.
The best chicken item they ever had, imo.
Wish they would bring this time back.
Anyone else remember any of these items??
Enjoy some commercials below in the comments…

This is the rest of the timeline that I threw together, taking the thought experiment of "what if the Twilight Zone episodes took place in the same universe?" to its logical conclusion. The first part can be found here.

Alien visits and invasions (c.1955-1959)

The end of World War II marks the end of the "historical" episodes of the Twilight Zone, meaning that the rest of the episodes either takes place near the "present day" (1950s-1960s) or in the future (after 1964). The first category of episodes I want to address are those that involve alien visitations or invasions, and offer an explanation for why there are so many alien encounters over a relatively brief period of time.
Old Ben had been hiding on Earth for a while, possibly thousands of years, before he was suddenly discovered in the episode The Fugitive. This episode probably took place in the mid-1950s. This single discovery may have triggered a kind of "awakening" where Earth's existence suddenly became known to many alien races at once. Just like the discovery of a new continent in Earth's history, these alien races reacted to the discovery of Earth in different ways. Some visited for scientific curiosity (Stopover in a Quiet Town or Mr. Dingle, the Strong), some offered peaceful diplomacy (The Gift, The Fear), some planned conquest or commercial exploitation (To Serve Man or The Monsters are Due on Maple Street), and so forth. A critical analysis of these episodes gets a general sense of what order they probably took place in, all of which happened between the mid-to-late 1950s:

• First, there are episodes where alien encounters are still considered ridiculously implausible, and any extra-terrestrial sightings are secretly kept by a few individuals (The Fugitive, Hocus-Pocus and Frisby, Valley of the Shadow, and Stopover in a Quiet Town). The giant aliens in the last episode are probably the same race encountered years later, when humanity has caught up to them in technology (The Invaders).
  
• Second, there are public alien invasions that reveals the existence of extra-terrestrials to the world, as well as humanity's insignificance compared to them (To Serve Man, Black Leather Jackets, and The Gift). The technology stolen from the Kanamites becomes instrumental for jump-starting spaceflight technology from now on. After surviving two attempted alien conquests (the Kanamites and the Black Jackets), it becomes understandable why humanity is so paranoid in The Gift. On the other hand, it is equally devastating that we botched the opportunity to ally with an alien race, who could have defended us from invasions in the future.
  
• Third, there are episodes where the existence of aliens is a commonly-known fact, and humans are all terrifyingly paranoid of suffering another invasion (The Fear, The Monsters are Due on Maple Street, and Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?). The tiny aliens in The Fear are probably the same race encountered years later, when humanity has caught up to their technology (The Little People).
  

The episodes Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up? and Mr. Dingle, the Strong both make reference to an arms race between Mars and Venus, placing them around the same time. The secret experiments of the Martians were probably responsible for other individuals inexplicably receiving superpowers (The Prime Mover, The Four of Us Are Dying, and What You Need). This places all of these episodes around the late 1950s, or c.1958.
Even though no aliens actually visit during the episode, I Dream of Genie technically falls into the third category listed above, i.e. humanity being paranoid of an impending alien invasion. The genie here may be the same one who encountered Arthur Castle (The Man in the Bottle). This places both of these episodes in c.1959.

Space and Interdimensional Travel (1959-1963)

As mentioned earlier, the first phase of episodes involving space travel are limited to short distances between Earth and the Moon. There are four episodes that fall into that category: Where is Everyone?, I Shot an Arrow into the Air, And When the Sky Was Opened, and The Parallel, all of which can be solidly dated between 1959-1963.
Where is Everyone? explicitly gives the date as 1959, but it's mentioned that they are making preparations to land on the Moon. With the advanced space traveling technology stolen from the Kanamites, it's possible that the Moon landing was a full ten years earlier than in our timeline. As mentioned in a previous Reddit post, I Shot an Arrow into the Air is a very strange episode astronomically speaking: how could the astronauts not realize they traveled too short a distance to be on any other planet but Earth? Maybe because the humans didn't actually build this hyperspace engine, but they are still struggling to reverse-engineer the Kanamite technology, whose navigation equipment may still be a mystery. These kind of inferences is chiefly the reason why I pushed the alien invasions to the 1950s.
And When the Sky Was Opened mentions the astronauts rode in a X-20 Dyna-Soar, which is a real spaceship built in 1963 by the Boeing corporation. In our timeline, the project was canceled and the spaceship was never actually used, but this raises multiple questions. On the one hand, we could say that the project was successfully completed in the Twilight Zone universe. But on the other hand, at the end of the episode some unseen force erased the space craft from existence.
The Parallel specifically mentions that John F. Kennedy is President, dating the episode to 1963. But this tangentially opens up a related category of Twilight Zone episodes, regarding Earth's relationship with parallel universes. Just as was the case with extraterrestrial contact, the episodes regarding parallel universes can be arranged in a logical order:

• First, there are episodes where portals randomly open up to other dimensions, and some people accidentally slip through (Little Girl Lost and The Bewitchin' Pool)
  
• Second, there are episodes where individuals blink instantaneously to a parallel universe, without any visible portal (The Parallel, A World of Difference, and Person or Persons Unknown). Due to the dating of The Parallel, these other episodes also take place around 1963.
  
• Finally, there are incidents of malicious actors trying to invade from a parallel universe, apparently with the intention of replacing their counterparts (Mirror Image, Nervous Man in a Four-Dollar Room, and The Mirror).
  

The Cold War, and the Devil's influence (1961-1964)

The Whole Truth is dated to 1961, and this has some fascinating implications for the rest of the timeline. In this episode, a used car salesman possesses a car that causes its owner to always tell the truth. At the end of the episode, he convinces a Soviet correspondent to gift the car to Premier Nikita Khrushchev, during his meeting with President John F. Kennedy (which historically took place in 1961). But what geopolitical implications could there be if the premier of the Soviet Union was compelled to always tell the truth? Historically, Khrushchev already had a tenuous control over his regime, so a disaster like this could easily cause him to become deposed or even assassinated (not unlike the alternate timeline in the 1980s Twilight Zone episode Profile in Silver, but that's a story for another time). It may be the sudden shift in leadership of the Soviet Union that sets events in motion that leads to the nuclear war later in the timeline.
Knowing that the Devil is always active during times of political crisis, then it may be around this same time that the epilogue of The Howling Man takes place, when the Devil is released once again. The Devil appears in a female form in the episode Of Late I Think of Cliffordville, which is explicitly dated to 1963. Thus, other episodes that feature the Devil operating in the present day can be dated between 1961-1963 (Escape Clause, Printer's Devil, A Nice Place to Visit, and The Hunt). There are, of course, other episodes that involve demons or witchcraft (such as The Chaser, The Jungle, or Jesse-Belle) but not the Devil himself.

Robots and Sentient AI (1965-1974)

There are quite a lot of Twilight Zone episodes that involve sentient artificial intelligence in some way, or otherwise-inanimate objects that possess some intelligence (like The Dummy). Just as the case with developing space travel technology, the development of robotic technology evolves over multiple stages, which allows us to place these episodes in chronological order:

• First, there are three episodes that involve the first invention of sentient AI (In His Image, The Lateness of the Hour, and Uncle Simon). This means that sentient AI is collectively the invention of Dr. William Loren, Dr. Walter Ryder, and Dr. Simon Polk respectively. These episodes take place in the mid-1960s, or c.1965. It is at this point we have moved into the "future" from the perspective of the original show.
  
• Second, there are episodes where sentient AI is proliferated around the world, substituting various jobs that were previously used by humans (The Mighty Casey, I Sing the Body Electric, From Agnes - With Love, and The Brain Center at Whipple's). The last of these episodes is specifically dated to 1967, thus placing these other episodes in the late 1960s. In the episode Steel, they mention that boxing was outlawed in 1968 after it was replaced by robot boxers, which reinforces this chronology.
  
• Third, AI is permeated into various odd machines that wouldn't normally use any intelligence (The Fever, Nick of Time, You Drive, and A Thing About Machines). In the last of these episodes, we can see Bartlett Finchley is basically a kind of Luddite that is paranoid of the rise of artificial intelligence, which is why he hates all the appliances in his house. These all take place in the late 1960s or early 1970s.
  
• Finally, there are several episodes that involve sentience appearing in objects that would otherwise be considered inanimate (The After Hours, Five Characters in Search of an Exit, The Dummy, Miniature, The New Exhibit, Living Doll, and Caesar and Me). Rod Serling sure loved his episodes preying on automatonophobia. These all likely take place in the early 1970s.
  
• Additionally, the episode Steel is explicitly said to take place in 1974. It was around this same year that the epilogue of I Sing the Body Electric also takes place, eight years after the main plot.
  

Note that this category does NOT include episodes objects that are possessed by ghosts or demons, as that obviously doesn't count as AI (for example, Long Distance Call).

Space Colonies and Nuclear War (c.1970-1997)

Having finished the 1960s, the next phase of the timeline returns to the subject of spaceflight technology, specifically interplanetary travel within our Solar System. The episode People are Alike All Over depicts the first landing on Mars, and while it doesn't give a date for this event we can estimate it from other information. The episode Elegy mentions that the human outpost "Happy Glades" was built in 1973, located on an asteroid 655 million miles from Earth. This distance is not enough to be outside the Solar System, but it is far enough to be located in the asteroid belt. Because the asteroid belt is farther away from Earth than Mars, then the first landing on Mars must have already happened by that point. Thus, this episode must take place in the early 1970s at the latest. With the acceleration of space travel technology, it's possible that the iconic Moon landing in 1969 was actually on Mars in this timeline.
There are two episodes that involve space travel to planets in other solar systems, supposedly close by to ours (The Invaders and The Little People). Both of these races had visited Earth years ago (Stopover in a Quiet Town and The Fear). These most likely take place in the late 1970s or early 1980s. At this stage, humanity is just exploring other planets and not attempting to establish colonies yet.
The episode Elegy establishes that nuclear war broke out in 1985, and a few other episodes take place around this same time. The growth of technology and social development since the Kanamite invasion did nothing to dissuade the political rivalry between the United States and Soviet Union, or if anything accelerated it. The USSR was probably taken over by a more radical faction after Khrushchev was deposed from power (The Whole Truth).
Two episodes mention the impending expectation of nuclear war, but in both of these cases the war turned out to be a false alarm (The Shelter and One More Pallbearer). The only episode to actually depict the war itself is Time Enough, At Last. The episode Two takes place five years after the war began, placing it in the year 1990. The episode The Old Man in the Cave takes place ten years after the war, dating it to 1995. By that point, the US government had already been re-established, and was slowly pulling itself back together by making contact with each isolated pocket of survivors. The United States continues to exist as a nation into the far future (The Long Morrow), but there is no indication that the Soviet Union survived the war.
As a result of interstellar travel being developed before the nuclear war broke out, there was a mass exodus of human refugees that set up colonies in distant star systems. The episode On Thursday We Leave for Home says that the V-9 Gamma colony was established in 1991, and they specifically mention that it was made by people fleeing Earth due to the outbreak of a global war. The episode Death Ship takes place in 1997, which mentions they are looking for planets suitable for colonization. The episode The Long Morrow initially takes place in 1987, in which Douglas Stansfield is sent to a star system 141 light years away from Earth (the longest distance ever given in a Twilight Zone episode).

The farther future (c.2000-2185)

By the 2020s, Earth (specifically the United States) is now re-establishing contact with the distant colonies that had previously been lost. On Thursday We Leave for Home takes place in 2021 and The Long Morrow takes place in 2027. In both of these cases, there is a specific point made on how rapidly Earth's technology has advanced since the colonists left in the late 20th century. One wonders how this is possible, considering the dismal state of civilization in the aftermath of the nuclear war (The Old Man in the Cave).
One possible explanation for this is the advanced alien technology left over in Peaceful Valley (Valley of the Shadow). Originally, the town was keeping their technology hidden out of fear of humanity using it for weapons of mass destruction. But having seen Earth go through a nuclear conflict, they can now feel confident that humanity has learned its lesson and is matured to the point of using the advanced technology properly. Thus, civilization fully recovered roughly around the year 2000.
A few episodes take place in the distant future beyond the 2020s. The Lonely takes place in the year 2046, at which point humans are using asteroids as penal colonies. The Rip Van Winkel Caper takes place in the year 2061, as four criminals put themselves in suspended animation since 1961. It's remarkable to think how much the world has changed since they fell asleep, as this is one of the most futuristic dates of any Twilight Zone episode. At this point, the human race is transitioning to a post-scarcity society as gold itself can be synthesized. Finally, the episode Elegy takes place in the year 2185, which mentions that even now civilization is still feeling the effects of the nuclear war.

Conformist Dystopia (date unknown)

There are a few other episodes that take place in some unspecified distant future, most likely further than any of the other episodes so far. When arranged in the right order, these episodes depict the gradual degeneration of humanity into a fascist dystopia obsessed with conformity, as the result of introducing a technology that can completely remodel or replace people's bodies.
This technology is first introduced in the episode The Trade-Ins. At this point, the process of replacing people's bodies are still voluntary and reversible. In fact, people have to pay an exorbitant amount of money for the privilege of getting remodeled. At some point later on, the technology becomes so widely ubiquitous that it no longer is an option, but mandatory (Number 12 Looks Just Like You). This episode and The Obsolete Man have an interesting relationship with each other, which suggests they may happen around the same era. In Number 12 Looks Just Like You, it is revealed that the remodeling process has a side-effect of removing people's empathy and individuality, which could explain the rise of fascism and public executions see in The Obsolete Man. Marilyn also mentions that her radical beliefs came as the result of reading "banned books" kept by her father, which is exactly the same reason why Romney Wordsworth was judged as obsolete.
The episode Eye of the Beholder also fits into this conformist dystopia very naturally. At this point, people have been using the body-replacement technology for so long (possibly centuries or millennia) that their very concept of what even is beauty has completely degenerated and warped. Of course, there is an alternate possibility that this episode takes place on another planet instead of the distant future, which would make it the only episode to never make reference to Earth at all.
As previously mentioned, I tend to assume that The Midnight Sun is the last chronological episode, as there is no way humanity would survive leaving the Sun's orbit. One could argue that it doesn't make sense for this episode to take place so far in the future, even later than Eye of the Beholder, as technology and society seems to have been completely restored to the way it was in the 1960s. But of course, we must remember that the majority of this episode is a fever dream, and we only see a brief glimpse at what the world looks like in the real world.

Other Observations

So much for all the episodes that I could fit into a single chronology. There are other episodes that are ambiguous on their time period, but nonetheless has some interesting implications if we assume they take place in the same universe:
The episode Mute says that all humans have an innate ability to be telepathic, but requires special training since infancy in order to use it. This could explain why Hector Poole randomly develops telepathic abilities in the episode Penny for your Thoughts: he accidentally unlocked his innate ability, with the upright penny acting as a kind of placebo. Unlike the other random superpowers, it is unlikely that the invisible Martians would have granted someone telepathy, because they would have immediately read the Martians' thoughts and reveal their existence.
In the episode A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain, it is revealed that Dr. Raymond Gordon has developed a serum that can reverse the aging process. This may be the same method that Charles Whitley used to reverse his aging, and the whole claim of "acting young" was a distraction (Kick the Can).
There are several episodes in which dreams have developed some kind of sentience on their own, and have some greater insight to the outside world. In almost all of these cases, these dreams have malicious intentions that deliberately tries to kill their host (Perchance to Dream, A Stop At Willoughby, Shadow Play, and Twenty-Two). This might be the result of some kind of trans-dimensional being that is able to enter people's minds for some reason. The Last Night of a Jockey also features a powerful being that lives in his head, which may be the same creature.
In the episode The Mind and the Matter, Archibald Beechcroft has developed a method of reshaping reality with his mind. Other episodes involve people being able to reshape reality at will, who may have stumbled across the same method (A World of His Own and It's a Good Life). While none of these episodes give a date, the sequel episode It's Still a Good Life says that it took place in 1963. I also put The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross in this same category, even though he technically doesn't have complete control over reality, his powers are so versatile he might as well be (able to exchange literally anything for anything). Again, these superpowers can't be explained by the same invisible Martians in Mr. Dingle, the Strong because reality control is simply too much for an alien to just hand out. There are a few other episodes that involve people having limited reality control, but they only ever end up making one wish with it (Four O'Clock, Sounds and Silences, and The Big Tall Wish). In terms of chronology, we know the last of these episodes must take place before 1968, since boxing with humans was made illegal (Steel).
In miscellaneous categories, there are two episodes that feature guardian angels (Cavender is Coming and Mr. Bevis). There are four episodes that feature the personification of death (One For the Angels, The Hitch-Hiker, Nothing in the Dark, and A Passage for Trumpet). There are five episodes that feature witches and sorcery (The Chaser, The Jungle, Jesse-Belle, The Bard, and The Masks). Aside from demons and angels, it seems that Rod Serling was rather reluctant to make use of any established mythological creatures, probably because they would be too distracting from the parable-like messages he was giving. The only exceptions to this are Santa Claus in Night of the Meek and Gremlins in Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.
By far and away, the biggest category of Twilight Zone episodes are those that feature karmic judgement from ghosts, a total of 21 episodes according to my count. Typically, these ghosts come back to seek punishment or justice against the person who did them wrong (Death's Head Revisited, The Thirty-Fathom Grave, Dead Man's Shoes, etc.). Sometimes they are just haunting images of a past trauma (Nightmare as a Child, The Arrival, or King Nine Will Not Return). But sometimes, the ghosts instead are coming back to give congratulations or some kind of catharsis (Changing of the Guard, The Trouble with Templeton, or The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine). Sometimes it's a case of the ghost themselves seeking catharsis (Night Call or Long Distance Call). And sometimes they are ghosts of famous historical figures with unfinished business (He's Alive, Showdown With Rance McGraw, or A Game of Pool).

Went to Afghanistan in '19-- got our CABs back in late 2020 in a batch. I personally saw to it that our HQ processed those badbois. It was five of us. Love the guy, but he didn't download his badge orders and they never made it into his iPerms.
He has records of it being populated on his ERB/SRB at one point or another.
Kind of concerned because he is on his way out soon, and there's a bit of latitude/benefit of the doubt the VA gives dudes with CIBs/CABs/CMBs/CARs.
My dipshits idea is to aggregate the badge orders from the other guys to try to triangulate the order number. We also have approved foreign decorations from the same incident (Foreign equivalent of one, but I know there isn't international reciprocity with this kinda shit)
What do now?
I'll have a beefy 5-layer, four soft tacos, and a crunch wrap. Thanks.

hello readers, my name is Chase, and I have a story from the perry state forest and my home that neither me nor my friends will ever forget, but before that, here is some backstory. We lived bordering the perry state forest, on a large hill. My entire immediate family lived on this hill, my grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousins, my mother, father, and me. My aunt and uncle had a medium sized farm and raised many goats and had free roam chickens. It was extremely common for the animals to go missing. We honestly just chocked it up to the coyotes, until we caught a mountain lion on one of our trail cams. Mind you, we live in southern Ohio, we aren’t supposed to have mountain lions here, yet there was one, with its own den in our woods. Our.. “wild” woods.
we always had odd things happen at night, Seeing shadows, hear loud knocks, whispers, screams, footsteps, even hearing drums in the woods every year around Halloween. Pretty creepy. But moving forward, let’s get into the meat of this story. My first encounter that I can remember is when I was maybe 8 years old and fell asleep late in my living room. We had a very large window with a tv to the left of it, in the corner of the room. I woke up and looked at the clock, and it was about 3:00AM and the tv was buzzing static, I looked out the window from the couch and there it was. A tall man, wearing a brown cloak (likely made of deer skins) and a deer head coving his face. Standing in the window with a little Indian girl in braids to his right. He stood there and stared at me for a long time, then waved to me in a way that said “come out side, it’s okay, just come on out”. After I freaked and just sat there in shock, they both walked out of view of the window. I had a sudden urge to follow but I stayed put and cried out of fright. I then ran to my room and eventually fell asleep.
The next morning I explained what had happened to me earlier that night and My mother told me it was a friendly Indian chief who was just paying a visit, meaning no harm. I had since then blocked the experience from my memory And pretty much forgot that it even happened until years later my mom sat me down and told me the truth. That “cheif” has been around for a very long time and terrorized everyone on the hill and staring at them from a distance since they first moved in, around 1999. She told me, according to her knowledge that he was from the Adena tribe and during his time, he would collect kids from the surrounding tribes and take them away, for human sacrifices. She then further explained that He wasn’t waving me hello, he was waving me on, to follow him outside with the Indian girl, To do god knows what with me once I was alone in the woods. She said He is evil, and my mother doesn’t use that word often. But she said “whatever that thing is, it’s evil” and “don’t ever go out there in the woods alone at night. Don’t even go with friends. Stay as far away from the deep woods. A evil lives there.”
And so of course, I didn’t listen. And me and my friends quickly learned our lesson. Me and my two friends, we will call them Andy and Jeremy, decide to have some spooky fun after a long and boring night. we where all 17 to 18 years old, so we hatched the plan to go into the woods, and into the Perry State Forest to try to scare ourselves and just mess around and have a fun time. After all, there where roads in the forest that was only a couple of miles long, for example in a twenty minute drive you could easily make it right into the city, it was a straight shot, one single road, with no turns. We decided to drive, because hoofing it out there was just a little too ballsy for our Taste. In all honesty we just loved the rush of being spooked. Andy and Jeremy are, or at least where, the furthest thing from superstitious, for they didn’t believe in anything unless they could see it or feel it themselves. And that’s exactly what they got. We was in my father’s car, a manual bmw, it was a fast car and we felt oh-so cool driving it around. The time was approaching 2:30AM when we slowly drove into the forest, after turning off of the main road.
Upon entering the forest had a wave of… something come crashing into us, it felt as if we were fazing through a wall that wasn’t there. The air felt heavy and thick. and we felt extreme pressure on our chests. this made our eyes tear up, and it was hard to breathe. There was no pain, just an overwhelming feeling of sadness, anger, guilt, dread, regret and emotional distress. it honestly felt like every bad feeling you could possibly feel all together at once. We felt like we needed to turn around and just say “forget it” but we wanted this, we wanted to feel scared. It’s what we came here for in the first place.
So We continue driving through the weird wall of bad feelings and we all just thought we got that weird feeling because we were in the woods at night and it was late and dark out. And I mean really dark out, it was a new moon so we really didn’t have any light. It made sense at the time, yet the headlights were only able to see about a yard in front of us, which was not normal for the LED lights my dad had installed. We talked amongst ourselves about how weird that feeling we got was when we entered the forest. Then out of nowhere we saw a large black figure standing at the left side of the road, and just watched us drive by, and by the time we passed it, it was gone. And when I say black, it wasn’t just black, it was darker than anything I’ve ever seen before, the darkness of the forest behind it almost looked bright in comparison. We checked in the rear view mirrors, and it had just vanished, poof, gone. Like it was never there in the first place. We said some obscenity’s to each other completely stunned and aghast at what we just witnessed.
We drove for about a whole minute in silence, until Andy said “Did y’all see that shit?” We all agreed with a simple “uh-huh”. We continued to drive. After a little while Andy looks up at the sky and says “uh guys, the sky looks kinda.. off”. Me and Jeremy looked up, and The sky wasn’t just “off” it was blood red, yet it was so dark in the forest that you couldn’t see your hand in-front of your face. We thought maybe it was starting to get daylight out but it was only 2:32AM. We were perplexed at how little time passed since we entered And at how on earth the sky could be light up in such a dark red. At first, we thought it could possibly be a blood moon, yet there was no moon to be seen. We continued on our journey for what felt like a half an hour in a straight line. Then suddenly Andy yelped and said “no.. no, no, no we just seen that tree, I just seen that tree, it’s like we are going in a circle! You didn’t take any turns did you chase?” I denied with a simple “no, why would I? It’s a straight line through here, I don’t want to get lost, especially out here.” and so we continued to pass the same trees, the same guard rail, the same lake, the same signs, the same exact everything over and over and over again. Everything kept repeating, as if we where driving in a big circle, but that’s impossible since the road is only a straight line through, there are many turns that we could have taken but we never turned, not once.
“Dang man this feels like some blare witch shit” Jerermy murmured. As we continued to drive through the endless loop we where now apparently stuck in, over time we slowly started to see dark figures in the woods, shadows, things staring at us in the trees and and scariest of all, deer that didn’t look right. Something was off about them. They would all just stand there and stare at the car, and sway back and forth. yet unlike how normal deer eyes glow when lights hit them, there was no glow, like a black, empty void within each eyeball. then one spontaneously jumped in-front of the car, making us all physically recoil, and brace for the impact of a deer entering my front grill, but it never happened. It disappeared just as quickly as it had jumped in front of us. “No man this isn’t right we need to turn around that can’t happen, this isn’t real” Jerermy said to me, I told him that we couldn’t be far from the exit after all we’ve been driving for what We felt like was hours. So we continued driving down the dirt road We then noticed the dark figures in the woods to slowly transform into a more.. human figure. We also started seeing disembodied eyes staring at us and heard odd distorted animal noises, screams and whimpers. we suddenly all had something in our heads telling us to “just stop the car. Stop the car and get out and everything will stop” We all shook off the eerie feeling that came over us. We then heard whispers, but these where no ordinary whispers, they sounded like they where coming from INSIDE the car. Again, we continued to drive. While driving we would also sporadically get a glimpse of the.. thing we seen at the very beginning when we entered.
Then, abruptly all the visions and sounds stopped. We then heard a girl scream, not a coyote or a bobcat, a girl, and it wasn’t in the woods, it was Right in all of our ears, it was loud enough to make our ears ring. then the car shut off. Dead. No lights on, no nothing. Just off. Pitch black darkness. I tried to start it and nothing. While trying to start the car we heard a train in the distance and it sounded like we were on the tracks ourselves, hell we could feel the ground rumbling. But the odd thing was, there was not a railroad anywhere near the park. Not for many miles. So how is it that we could hear the chug of the engine, the whistle and the screeching of the wheels? We had absolutely no idea. it got closer and closer until it sounded like the train was in the car, passing right through us. while the train was going through the car, that car came back to life, all the lights on, just like normal. So I started it. Tried to take off, and killed it. (It was a manual and I was scared, it was my own error but it still scared me when the car lurched to a stop) I then started it again and took off.
We were fleeing for our lives at this point so we were easily hitting 50 mph on a shitty gravel road. We continued to pass the same everything over and over again, I then abruptly slammed on my breaks. “Damn dude!” “What the hell man?!” Andy and Jeremy both yelled as they face planted into the front seats. Guys, look. They look up in awe to see car two car headlights coming right at us, growing bigger by the second. I was stopped and i panicked and instead of driving out of the way, which there wasn’t any real “out-of-the-way” since we were on a very narrow Road, I started to flash my lights at them, hoping they would see and stop. But they didn’t. They continue to get closer and closer, so we all just accepted our fates and put our heads down to protect us from the collision. We waited and waited, and nothing happened. We all looked up and it had just vanished, just like the deers had previously. no car, no tread marks, no dust cloud, nothing. It was just all in our heads.
At this point we knew something was in our heads, warping reality and making us perceive whatever it wanted us to see. We continued down the road. After about 15 minutes of relative peace, other than the screams and human figures and other horrific things happening, the radio randomly switched on and we heard people talking on the radio through static but they weren’t just radio hosts, it was people, so many people talking at once it was defining. We heard loud knocking and banging on the doors and windows, enough to shake the car. The voices in our heads were now scream at us to stop driving, to roll down the windows. to get out of the car. To do anything to let them in. Everything was deafening, it was so insanely loud and we all started weeping, we just gave up, we couldn’t handle it anymore.
then, In the blink of an eye we appeared on the new reservoir road, right before the city. We all looked to each other, completely stunned on how the hell we just teleported to the end of the dirt road, out of the forest. the radio was still blaring static so reached and turned it down so we could talk amongst ourselves. I looked and seen The time was now 3:00AM. How did such little time pass? How did we get here? We had no clue, and we still don’t. We were just glad it was over. We drove away, to the city. The sky slowly faded from red to black. We stopped at the 24 hour Taco Bell and got some food, and sat in the parking lot talking about what we all had just experienced. We then drove back to my dads, and waked up to the front door, exhausted. Then right before walking in, there it was. The figure we seen at the very beginning, standing right on the edge of the property line. Staring directly at us. But now we could see it in finite detail.
It was about 7 feet tall with broad shoulders and the stature Akeem to a man. wearing a blacker than black cloak and a deer skull on its head with piercing red glowing eyes. It then raised its hand to its chest and waved a single wave, from its chest to its hip, then it vanished into the woods behind it. We then went inside, and all fell asleep immediately, after vowing to never, ever go out there again.
But funnily enough, years later we have all agreed to go camping in thoes very woods, next week. If anything happens, I will write again. This was my first time ever writing something like this and if it wasn’t for my friends experiencing all of it along with me, I would simply think I am bat shit insane. It was their idea for me to even write this in the first place, so I hope it was easy to read. And thank you, for reading our story. And also, heed my mother’s warning and don’t ever go into the Perry State Forest at night, because an evil really does live there.

hello readers, my name is Chase and I have a story from the perry state forest and my home that neither me nor my friends will ever forget, but before that, here is some backstory. We lived bordering the perry state forest, on a large hill. My entire immediate family lived on this hill, my grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousins, my mother, father, and me. My aunt and uncle had a medium sized farm and raised many goats and had free roam chickens. It was extremely common for the animals to go missing. We honestly just chocked it up to the coyotes, until we caught a mountain lion on one of our trail cams. Mind you, we live in southern Ohio, we aren’t supposed to have mountain lions here, yet there was one, with its own den in our woods. Our.. “wild” woods.
we always had odd things happen at night, Seeing shadows, hear loud knocks, whispers, screams, footsteps, even hearing drums in the woods every year around Halloween. Pretty creepy. But moving forward, let’s get into the meat of this story. My first encounter that I can remember is when I was maybe 8 years old and fell asleep late in my living room. We had a very large window with a tv to the left of it, in the corner of the room. I woke up and looked at the clock, and it was about 3:00AM and the tv was buzzing static, I looked out the window from the couch and there it was. A tall man, wearing a brown cloak (likely made of deer skins) and a deer head coving his face. Standing in the window with a little Indian girl in braids to his right. He stood there and stared at me for a long time, then waved to me in a way that said “come out side, it’s okay, just come on out”. After I freaked and just sat there in shock, they both walked out of view of the window. I had a sudden urge to follow but I stayed put and cried out of fright. I then ran to my room and eventually fell asleep.
The next morning I explained what had happened to me earlier that night and My mother told me it was a friendly Indian chief who was just paying a visit, meaning no harm. I had since then blocked the experience from my memory And pretty much forgot that it even happened until years later my mom sat me down and told me the truth. That “cheif” has been around for a very long time and terrorized everyone on the hill and staring at them from a distance since they first moved in, around 1999. She told me, according to her knowledge that he was from the Adena tribe and during his time, he would collect kids from the surrounding tribes and take them away, for human sacrifices. She then further explained that He wasn’t waving me hello, he was waving me on, to follow him outside with the Indian girl, To do god knows what with me once I was alone in the woods. She said He is evil, and my mother doesn’t use that word often. But she said “whatever that thing is, it’s evil” and “don’t ever go out there in the woods alone at night. Don’t even go with friends. Stay as far away from the deep woods. A evil lives there.”
And so of course, I didn’t listen. And me and my friends quickly learned our lesson. Me and my two friends, we will call them Andy and Jeremy, decide to have some spooky fun after a long and boring night. we where all 17 to 18 years old, so we hatched the plan to go into the woods, and into the Perry State Forest to try to scare ourselves and just mess around and have a fun time. After all, there where roads in the forest that was only a couple of miles long, for example in a twenty minute drive you could easily make it right into the city, it was a straight shot, one single road, with no turns. We decided to drive, because hoofing it out there was just a little too ballsy for our Taste. In all honesty we just loved the rush of being spooked. Andy and Jeremy are, or at least where, the furthest thing from superstitious, for they didn’t believe in anything unless they could see it or feel it themselves. And that’s exactly what they got. We was in my father’s car, a manual bmw, it was a fast car and we felt oh-so cool driving it around. The time was approaching 2:30AM when we slowly drove into the forest, after turning off of the main road.
Upon entering the forest had a wave of… something come crashing into us, it felt as if we were fazing through a wall that wasn’t there. The air felt heavy and thick. and we felt extreme pressure on our chests. this made our eyes tear up, and it was hard to breathe. There was no pain, just an overwhelming feeling of sadness, anger, guilt, dread, regret and emotional distress. it honestly felt like every bad feeling you could possibly feel all together at once. We felt like we needed to turn around and just say “forget it” but we wanted this, we wanted to feel scared. It’s what we came here for in the first place.
So We continue driving through the weird wall of bad feelings and we all just thought we got that weird feeling because we were in the woods at night and it was late and dark out. And I mean really dark out, it was a new moon so we really didn’t have any light. It made sense at the time, yet the headlights were only able to see about a yard in front of us, which was not normal for the LED lights my dad had installed. We talked amongst ourselves about how weird that feeling we got was when we entered the forest. Then out of nowhere we saw a large black figure standing at the left side of the road, and just watched us drive by, and by the time we passed it, it was gone. And when I say black, it wasn’t just black, it was darker than anything I’ve ever seen before, the darkness of the forest behind it almost looked bright in comparison. We checked in the rear view mirrors, and it had just vanished, poof, gone. Like it was never there in the first place. We said some obscenity’s to each other completely stunned and aghast at what we just witnessed.
We drove for about a whole minute in silence, until Andy said “Did y’all see that shit?” We all agreed with a simple “uh-huh”. We continued to drive. After a little while Andy looks up at the sky and says “uh guys, the sky looks kinda.. off”. Me and Jeremy looked up, and The sky wasn’t just “off” it was blood red, yet it was so dark in the forest that you couldn’t see your hand in-front of your face. We thought maybe it was starting to get daylight out but it was only 2:32AM. We were perplexed at how little time passed since we entered And at how on earth the sky could be light up in such a dark red. At first, we thought it could possibly be a blood moon, yet there was no moon to be seen. We continued on our journey for what felt like a half an hour in a straight line. Then suddenly Andy yelped and said “no.. no, no, no we just seen that tree, I just seen that tree, it’s like we are going in a circle! You didn’t take any turns did you chase?” I denied with a simple “no, why would I? It’s a straight line through here, I don’t want to get lost, especially out here.” and so we continued to pass the same trees, the same guard rail, the same lake, the same signs, the same exact everything over and over and over again. Everything kept repeating, as if we where driving in a big circle, but that’s impossible since the road is only a straight line through, there are many turns that we could have taken but we never turned, not once.
“Dang man this feels like some blare witch shit” Jerermy murmured. As we continued to drive through the endless loop we where now apparently stuck in, over time we slowly started to see dark figures in the woods, shadows, things staring at us in the trees and and scariest of all, deer that didn’t look right. Something was off about them. They would all just stand there and stare at the car, and sway back and forth. yet unlike how normal deer eyes glow when lights hit them, there was no glow, like a black, empty void within each eyeball. then one spontaneously jumped in-front of the car, making us all physically recoil, and brace for the impact of a deer entering my front grill, but it never happened. It disappeared just as quickly as it had jumped in front of us. “No man this isn’t right we need to turn around that can’t happen, this isn’t real” Jerermy said to me, I told him that we couldn’t be far from the exit after all we’ve been driving for what We felt like was hours. So we continued driving down the dirt road We then noticed the dark figures in the woods to slowly transform into a more.. human figure. We also started seeing disembodied eyes staring at us and heard odd distorted animal noises, screams and whimpers. we suddenly all had something in our heads telling us to “just stop the car. Stop the car and get out and everything will stop” We all shook off the eerie feeling that came over us. We then heard whispers, but these where no ordinary whispers, they sounded like they where coming from INSIDE the car. Again, we continued to drive. While driving we would also sporadically get a glimpse of the.. thing we seen at the very beginning when we entered.
Then, abruptly all the visions and sounds stopped. We then heard a girl scream, not a coyote or a bobcat, a girl, and it wasn’t in the woods, it was Right in all of our ears, it was loud enough to make our ears ring. then the car shut off. Dead. No lights on, no nothing. Just off. Pitch black darkness. I tried to start it and nothing. While trying to start the car we heard a train in the distance and it sounded like we were on the tracks ourselves, hell we could feel the ground rumbling. But the odd thing was, there was not a railroad anywhere near the park. Not for many miles. So how is it that we could hear the chug of the engine, the whistle and the screeching of the wheels? We had absolutely no idea. it got closer and closer until it sounded like the train was in the car, passing right through us. while the train was going through the car, that car came back to life, all the lights on, just like normal. So I started it. Tried to take off, and killed it. (It was a manual and I was scared, it was my own error but it still scared me when the car lurched to a stop) I then started it again and took off.
We were fleeing for our lives at this point so we were easily hitting 50 mph on a shitty gravel road. We continued to pass the same everything over and over again, I then abruptly slammed on my breaks. “Damn dude!” “What the hell man?!” Andy and Jeremy both yelled as they face planted into the front seats. Guys, look. They look up in awe to see car two car headlights coming right at us, growing bigger by the second. I was stopped and i panicked and instead of driving out of the way, which there wasn’t any real “out-of-the-way” since we were on a very narrow Road, I started to flash my lights at them, hoping they would see and stop. But they didn’t. They continue to get closer and closer, so we all just accepted our fates and put our heads down to protect us from the collision. We waited and waited, and nothing happened. We all looked up and it had just vanished, just like the deers had previously. no car, no tread marks, no dust cloud, nothing. It was just all in our heads.
At this point we knew something was in our heads, warping reality and making us perceive whatever it wanted us to see. We continued down the road. After about 15 minutes of relative peace, other than the screams and human figures and other horrific things happening, the radio randomly switched on and we heard people talking on the radio through static but they weren’t just radio hosts, it was people, so many people talking at once it was defining. We heard loud knocking and banging on the doors and windows, enough to shake the car. The voices in our heads were now scream at us to stop driving, to roll down the windows. to get out of the car. To do anything to let them in. Everything was deafening, it was so insanely loud and we all started weeping, we just gave up, we couldn’t handle it anymore.
then, In the blink of an eye we appeared on the new reservoir road, right before the city. We all looked to each other, completely stunned on how the hell we just teleported to the end of the dirt road, out of the forest. the radio was still blaring static so reached and turned it down so we could talk amongst ourselves. I looked and seen The time was now 3:00AM. How did such little time pass? How did we get here? We had no clue, and we still don’t. We were just glad it was over. We drove away, to the city. The sky slowly faded from red to black. We stopped at the 24 hour Taco Bell and got some food, and sat in the parking lot talking about what we all had just experienced. We then drove back to my dads, and waked up to the front door, exhausted. Then right before walking in, there it was. The figure we seen at the very beginning, standing right on the edge of the property line. Staring directly at us. But now we could see it in finite detail.
It was about 7 feet tall with broad shoulders and the stature Akeem to a man. wearing a blacker than black cloak and a deer skull on its head with piercing red glowing eyes. It then raised its hand to its chest and waved a single wave, from its chest to its hip, then it vanished into the woods behind it. We then went inside, and all fell asleep immediately, after vowing to never, ever go out there again.
But funnily enough, years later we have all agreed to go camping in thoes very woods, next week. If anything happens, I will write again. This was my first time ever writing something like this and if it wasn’t for my friends experiencing all of it along with me, I would simply think I am bat shit insane. It was their idea for me to even write this in the first place, so I hope it was easy to read. And thank you, for reading our story. And also, heed my mother’s warning and don’t ever go into the Perry State Forest at night, because an evil really does live there.

So, if you know enough about Taylor you know that she has an eating disorder in the past since about the 1989 era, however I believe it actually started about her debut era so when she was about 16. Young girls aspiring to be pop stars or actresses tend to want to be thinner based on society's pressure for women to be stick thin. There was even a rumor going around that Taylor's guitar teacher I think said her mom told her she cannot get taco bell because "no one wants to see a fat popstar." This is why I believe her eating disorder voices started, around her teen years. It is awful Taylor had to go through this at a young age though. However, since her debut era she as been relatively skinny. In the red era I noticed a huge weight difference and by 2014 she was extremely skinny. She claimed she "recovered" during the reputation era so 2017 and she said she was size 6, but that is still small especially regarding her height!! She was with joe during this time and some part of me believes joe helped her "recover" from her eating disorder. Maybe encouraging her to eat! However, she was still slender.
And during when Midnights came out she had a "fat" scale in her bathroom during the anti-hero MV which proves she still somewhat struggles with eating today. However, she removed the scene due to the backlash. Which I thought was kinda cowardly, like she could have explained why she put it there in a press piece. I noticed in 2023, she started to lose weight again especially during April-July, which may have been due to the breakup stress and moving to matty from joe super fast. And during 2023, she was datiing matty healy for about 2 months and he is super skinny and maybe that pressured her to lose weight since she didn't want to be the fat significant other.
In the present, she looks healthy to me but eating disorders do not have a look. You can still be struggling with one and your family or friends may never know. Finally, is she anti-fat, I never seen her with one fat friend, if you look at the circle she is in all her friends are relatively skinny or supermodels: Gigi Hadid, Lily Aldridge, Haim sisters, lana, blake, keleigh teller. What do you guys think?

Hello readers, my name is Chase, and I have a story from the perry state forest and my home that neither me nor my friends will ever forget, but before that, here is some backstory. We lived bordering the perry state forest, on a large hill. My entire immediate family lived on this hill, my grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousins, my mother, father, and me. My aunt and uncle had a medium sized farm and raised many goats and had free roam chickens. It was extremely common for the animals to go missing. We honestly just chocked it up to the coyotes, until we caught a mountain lion on one of our trail cams. Mind you, we live in southern Ohio, we aren’t supposed to have mountain lions here, yet there was one, with its own den in our woods. Our.. “wild” woods. we always had odd things happen at night, Seeing shadows, hear loud knocks, whispers, screams, footsteps, even hearing drums in the woods every year around Halloween. Pretty creepy. But moving forward, let’s get into the meat of this story. My first encounter that I can remember is when I was maybe 8 years old and fell asleep late in my living room. We had a very large window with a tv to the left of it, in the corner of the room. I woke up and looked at the clock, and it was about 3:00AM and the tv was buzzing static, I looked out the window from the couch and there it was. A tall man, wearing a brown cloak (likely made of deer skins) and a deer head coving his face. Standing in the window with a little Indian girl in braids to his right. He stood there and stared at me for a long time, then waved to me in a way that said “come out side, it’s okay, just come on out”. After I freaked and just sat there in shock, they both walked out of view of the window. I had a sudden urge to follow but I stayed put and cried out of fright. I then ran to my room and eventually fell asleep. The next morning I explained what had happened to me earlier that night and My mother told me it was a friendly Indian chief who was just paying a visit, meaning no harm. I had since then blocked the experience from my memory And pretty much forgot that it even happened until years later my mom sat me down and told me the truth. That “chef” has been around for a very long time and terrorized everyone on the hill and staring at them from a distance since they first moved in, around 1999. She told me, according to her knowledge that he was from the Adena tribe and during his time, he would collect kids from the surrounding tribes and take them away, for human sacrifices. She then further explained that He wasn’t waving me hello, he was waving me on, to follow him outside with the Indian girl, To do god knows what with me once I was alone in the woods. She said He is evil, and my mother doesn’t use that word often. But she said “whatever that thing is, it’s evil” and “don’t ever go out there in the woods alone at night. Don’t even go with friends. Stay as far away from the deep woods. A evil lives there.” And so of course, I didn’t listen. And me and my friends quickly learned our lesson. Me and my two friends, we will call them Andy and Jeremy, decide to have some spooky fun after a long and boring night. we where all 17 to 18 years old, so we hatched the plan to go into the woods, and into the Perry State Forest to try to scare ourselves and just mess around and have a fun time. After all, there where roads in the forest that was only a couple of miles long, for example in a twenty minute drive you could easily make it right into the city, it was a straight shot, one single road, with no turns. We decided to drive, because hoofing it out there was just a little too ballsy for our Taste. In all honesty we just loved the rush of being spooked. Andy and Jeremy are, or at least where, the furthest thing from superstitious, for they didn’t believe in anything unless they could see it or feel it themselves. And that’s exactly what they got. We was in my father’s car, a manual bmw, it was a fast car and we felt oh-so cool driving it around. The time was approaching 2:30AM when we slowly drove into the forest, after turning off of the main road. Upon entering the forest had a wave of… something come crashing into us, it felt as if we were fazing through a wall that wasn’t there. The air felt heavy and thick. and we felt extreme pressure on our chests. this made our eyes tear up, and it was hard to breathe. There was no pain, just an overwhelming feeling of sadness, anger, guilt, dread, regret and emotional distress. it honestly felt like every bad feeling you could possibly feel all together at once. We felt like we needed to turn around and just say “forget it” but we wanted this, we wanted to feel scared. It’s what we came here for in the first place. So We continue driving through the weird wall of bad feelings and we all just thought we got that weird feeling because we were in the woods at night and it was late and dark out. And I mean really dark out, it was a new moon so we really didn’t have any light. It made sense at the time, yet the headlights were only able to see about a yard in front of us, which was not normal for the LED lights my dad had installed. We talked amongst ourselves about how weird that feeling we got was when we entered the forest. Then out of nowhere we saw a large black figure standing at the left side of the road, and just watched us drive by, and by the time we passed it, it was gone. And when I say black, it wasn’t just black, it was darker than anything I’ve ever seen before, the darkness of the forest behind it almost looked bright in comparison. We checked in the rear view mirrors, and it had just vanished, poof, gone. Like it was never there in the first place. We said some obscenity’s to each other completely stunned and aghast at what we just witnessed. We drove for about a whole minute in silence, until Andy said “Did y’all see that shit?” We all agreed with a simple “uh-huh”. We continued to drive. After a little while Andy looks up at the sky and says “uh guys, the sky looks kinda.. off”. Me and Jeremy looked up, and The sky wasn’t just “off” it was blood red, yet it was so dark in the forest that you couldn’t see your hand in-front of your face. We thought maybe it was starting to get daylight out but it was only 2:32AM. We were perplexed at how little time passed since we entered And at how on earth the sky could be light up in such a dark red. At first, we thought it could possibly be a blood moon, yet there was no moon to be seen. We continued on our journey for what felt like a half an hour in a straight line. Then suddenly Andy yelped and said “no.. no, no, no we just seen that tree, I just seen that tree, it’s like we are going in a circle! You didn’t take any turns did you chase?” I denied with a simple “no, why would I? It’s a straight line through here, I don’t want to get lost, especially out here.” and so we continued to pass the same trees, the same guard rail, the same lake, the same signs, the same exact everything over and over and over again. Everything kept repeating, as if we where driving in a big circle, but that’s impossible since the road is only a straight line through, there are many turns that we could have taken but we never turned, not once. “Dang man this feels like some blare witch shit” Jerermy murmured. As we continued to drive through the endless loop we where now apparently stuck in, over time we slowly started to see dark figures in the woods, shadows, things staring at us in the trees and and scariest of all, deer that didn’t look right. Something was off about them. They would all just stand there and stare at the car, and sway back and forth. yet unlike how normal deer eyes glow when lights hit them, there was no glow, like a black, empty void within each eyeball. then one spontaneously jumped in-front of the car, making us all physically recoil, and brace for the impact of a deer entering my front grill, but it never happened. It disappeared just as quickly as it had jumped in front of us. “No man this isn’t right we need to turn around that can’t happen, this isn’t real” Jerermy said to me, I told him that we couldn’t be far from the exit after all we’ve been driving for what We felt like was hours. So we continued driving down the dirt road We then noticed the dark figures in the woods to slowly transform into a more.. human figure. We also started seeing disembodied eyes staring at us and heard odd distorted animal noises, screams and whimpers. we suddenly all had something in our heads telling us to “just stop the car. Stop the car and get out and everything will stop” We all shook off the eerie feeling that came over us. We then heard whispers, but these where no ordinary whispers, they sounded like they where coming from INSIDE the car. Again, we continued to drive. While driving we would also sporadically get a glimpse of the.. thing we seen at the very beginning when we entered. Then, abruptly all the visions and sounds stopped. We then heard a girl scream, not a coyote or a bobcat, a girl, and it wasn’t in the woods, it was Right in all of our ears, it was loud enough to make our ears ring. then the car shut off. Dead. No lights on, no nothing. Just off. Pitch black darkness. I tried to start it and nothing. While trying to start the car we heard a train in the distance and it sounded like we were on the tracks ourselves, hell we could feel the ground rumbling. But the odd thing was, there was not a railroad anywhere near the park. Not for many miles. So how is it that we could hear the chug of the engine, the whistle and the screeching of the wheels? We had absolutely no idea. it got closer and closer until it sounded like the train was in the car, passing right through us. while the train was going through the car, that car came back to life, all the lights on, just like normal. So I started it. Tried to take off, and killed it. (It was a manual and I was scared, it was my own error but it still scared me when the car lurched to a stop) I then started it again and took off. We were fleeing for our lives at this point so we were easily hitting 50 mph on a shitty gravel road. We continued to pass the same everything over and over again, I then abruptly slammed on my breaks. “Damn dude!” “What the hell man?!” Andy and Jeremy both yelled as they face planted into the front seats. Guys, look. They look up in awe to see car two car headlights coming right at us, growing bigger by the second. I was stopped and i panicked and instead of driving out of the way, which there wasn’t any real “out-of-the-way” since we were on a very narrow Road, I started to flash my lights at them, hoping they would see and stop. But they didn’t. They continue to get closer and closer, so we all just accepted our fates and put our heads down to protect us from the collision. We waited and waited, and nothing happened. We all looked up and it had just vanished, just like the deers had previously. no car,no tread marks, no dust cloud, nothing. It was just all in our heads. At this point we knew something was in our heads, warping reality and making us perceive whatever it wanted us to see. We continued down the road. After about 15 minutes of relative peace, other than the screams and human figures and other horrific things happening, the radio randomly switched on and we heard people talking on the radio through static but they weren’t just radio hosts, it was people, so many people talking at once it was defining. We heard loud knocking and banging on the doors and windows, enough to shake the car. The voices in our heads were now scream at us to stop driving, to roll down the windows. to get out of the car. To do anything to let them in. Everything was deafening, it was so insanely loud and we all started weeping, we just gave up, we couldn’t handle it anymore. then, In the blink of an eye we appeared on the new reservoir road, right before the city. We all looked to each other, completely stunned on how the hell we just teleported to the end of the dirt road, out of the forest. the radio was still blaring static so reached and turned it down so we could talk amongst ourselves. I looked and seen The time was now 3:00AM. How did such little time pass? How did we get here? We had no clue, and we still don’t. We were just glad it was over. We drove away, to the city. The sky slowly faded from red to black. We stopped at the 24 hour Taco Bell and got some food, and sat in the parking lot talking about what we all had just experienced. We then drove back to my dads, and waked up to the front door, exhausted. Then right before walking in, there it was. The figure we seen at the very beginning, standing right on the edge of the property line. Staring directly at us. But now we could see it in finite detail. It was about 7 feet tall with broad shoulders and the stature Akeem to a man. wearing a blacker than black cloak and a deer skull on its head with piercing red glowing eyes. It then raised its hand to its chest and waved a single wave, from its chest to its hip, then it vanished into the woods behind it. We then went inside, and all fell asleep immediately, after vowing to never, ever go out there again. But funnily enough, years later we have all agreed to go camping in thoes very woods, next week. If anything happens, I will write again. This was my first time ever writing something like this and if it wasn’t for my friends experiencing all of it along with me, I would simply think I am bat shit insane. It was their idea for me to even write this in the first place, so I hope it was easy to read. And thank you, for reading our story. And also, heed my mother’s warning and don’t ever go into the Perry State Forest at night, because an evil really does live there.

anyone else notice restaurant employees are being more and more rude these days? panera doesn't bother starting the order until i come in and give the name, so i keep my phone charging in my car, and they give me crap for only stating the name. had this dude go on a power trip and refuse to give me the food when i came back with my phone. and when i have the AUDACITY to patiently wait at taco bell for them to put the food on the pick up rack, instead of bothering the employees trying to crank through all the orders, this lady gives me attitude for just sitting there?? like, girl. calm down lmao. the popeyes near me just flat out ignores me, skipping over to the other people waiting in line (and often to other dashers who just shove their phones in their faces!!) i ended up standing in one place at mcdonald's for 15 minutes waiting for someone to acknowledge me, only for them to just reach behind the counter for the order. there's this local chain that has recently updated the instructions on doordash, telling me to go inside instead of waiting in my car, but only half of the restaurants actually follow it! this one place in my hometown actually yelled at me for "disturbing" her employees by standing in the lobby. idk I've started leaving bad reviews on google for particularly egregious behavior.

The main events in the documentary revolved around The Amanda show, where the female writers Jenny & Christy, child victims Brandi & Drake and perpetrators Jason & Brian all worked on.
2007 New York Times Article mentioning how The Amanda Show was conceived:

But the turning point in his relationship with the network came after Schneider added to the evolving cast of “All That” a girl named Amanda Bynes. Everyone recognized her as a nascent star, and so the network set about creating a show just for her — without consulting Schneider. The pilot that was shot for this new Bynes vehicle, though, was so poor that the network shelved it and scrapped plans for the series entirely — at which point Schneider felt he had to speak up. “I went to the Nickelodeon executives, and I said: ‘Look, you can’t blame Amanda for that; it was just the wrong project for her. Amanda is such a rangy little actress — she’s like a little Dana Carvey or a little Carol Burnett. What I would have done, if you had come to me, is I would have created a show where she could have played a lot of different characters. More of a sketch-type show.’ So I talked to them for a while and they said O.K., go ahead; and I created ‘The Amanda Show,’ which is one of the most successful shows Nickelodeon has ever had.” (

Quotes from the Quiet on Set Documentary
Joe Bell

He found an attorney to find out about Drake's financial situation. There was never any mishandling of any funds.

Christy Stratton

I remember speaking to the line producer and she said that I was going to have to split a salary with a writer that I did not know. So they were getting two for the price of one. They were going to hire two women and have them share a salary. And I never saw it happen to any of the men.

Jenny Kilgen

I went down to the studio to meet with Dan about Season two. He said, "Here's the deal. We're bringing you back for Season 2, staff writer. We're offering you a 16-week contract, but you need to work the whole season." Which was, I believe, 27 weeks. He was telling me I had to work 11 weeks for free.

Karyn Finley Thompson

One day, I keeled over, and I ended up having to go to the hospital. And, as I'm leaving and curled over, I could hear someone say... "How is the show going to get finished?" And I just remember saying, "I'll be right back!" "I'll be right back." And then, he promised me a job and didn't give it to me. Not only was this job that Dan promised me given to someone else, it was a younger man who had no experience.

Jason Handy

"You and all the kids are why I work for free half the week"

Also remember how Brian Peck was described as being "generous with his time." Did he also take a pay cut like Handy?
___
Also according to Jenny on twitter:

The female writers were only there for season one and there were no predators there at that time. And we were in a separate building. The predators seem to have arrived when production was moved to NICK on SUNSET.

(Brian Peck appeared on the Amanda Show in the later seasons. IMDB credits him on the "Face & Zawyer " episode. And this reddit post said he appeared on Season 3)
___
The payment scheme allegedly carried over to other Nick shows, according to an actress in this video:

I remember working for 4 days, and there was some deal with the contract that I would only be paid for 2 of them, which was shitty but I had the most lines and I knew the other girls were being paid worse.

From the 2022 Business Insider article:

In his memoir, Josh Peck wrote that he made about $450,000 over five years of filming "Drake & Josh." Backstage reported in 2012 that most child-star series regulars earned just $5,000 to $7,000 a week before taxes and expenses, which a parent of three child actors said could reduce weekly take-home pay to a mere $500.

And Drake Bell has talked about not getting residuals during his interview on The Sarah Fraser Show :

... at my age I didn't know that 50% of my money was going to taxes. And that 10% comes out for my agents and 15% for managers. I mean I knew but you can't calculate in your head. So he was putting in my brain, "you know Drake you should be rich like you did a commercial that you should have had $250,000 from that. And that your dad's stealing your money. I mean look how much it happens in Hollywood ... on The Amanda Show I mean we weren't making after taxes, management, agents. You know we weren't making crazy amounts of money. We didn't get residuals on Drake and Josh. And we didn't get residuals on the Amanda Show. So we're really hung out to dry.

Discuss

Sorry gorls I don't see a megathread for this video yet so I will just post my recap here. Will try to keep all opinions in parentheses!
(Thumbnail is looking extra hexagonlynn today <3)

• ALR greets us and tells us today will be a normal vlog but also a "what I eat in a day off track" (so your normal day?) because "starting TOMORROW, I'll be back on track" (Hambone really says this with her whole chest as if she has not had this mindset for the last 10 years)
  
• "This will be how I'm eateeeen when I'm literally not thinking about my weight" (ma'am I'm not sure how you ignore the 500+ pounds on you but okay)
  
• Next scene - she is sitting on her (smelly) couch with her first meal. It's five guys! She got "regular sized cajun fries" (regular not the little but the regular) She states she never finishes the fries. (X to doubt) She adds that she never finishes the burger either (X TO DOUBT). She says she will show us (yes! She will totally not show us half eaten food and then waddle back to finish everything. Definitely not!)
  
• She takes a bite and starts nodding over and over to tell us its so good. She is having a diet coke with her food (because who needs water?)
  
• She was expecting a guy to be her uber guy today but it was his wife because he broke his "layg" She is usually a 30% tipper on uber but she felt so bad that she tipped extra (empathlynn! <3) She again states she will show us what she doesn't finish because she NEVER finishes her five guys! (because repeating lies totally make them true.)
  
• She shows us how much fries and burger she has left
  
• Next scene - announces she is going to her grandma's and will play cards (someone call the party police)
  
• She shows us a carry on luggage. It is grocery shopping day and that is how she gets groceries back in her apt (?? I thought our gorl had sooo much stamina? Why is walking to the car + back to apartment an issue?)
  
• Next scene - (jump scare) she is at her grandma's house and doing duck lips (I am so disturbed). Mamalynn waves at camera.
  
• Next scene - dipping a tortilla chip into some bowl of who knows what (with her meaty claws) Having a sprite. (GIRL DRINK WATER)
  
• Mamalynn is struggling with the camera. Does not know where to point. Shows table of a man smoking inside the house (classy!), ALR's vape chilling on the table (no comments)
  
• Mamalynn says "I thought you knew how to shuffle!" while ALR struggles with the cards. ALR says "I'm editing this out" Mamalynn responds with "you can't show a character flaw that you can't shuffle?" (ma'am the list of character flaws are more rotund than your daughter) ALR says "my character flaw is FAT" (well then!)
  
• Next scene - shows grocery cart and says "all the healthy stuff is at the bottom of the cart. I promise" (....X ....to doubt)
  
• Next scene - back home and opening her suitcase of groceries (I don't even know what to say)
  
• Next scene - Bertha is sitting and talking about how different everyone is from when she was 18. They've all grown into better people (Bertha, I will press X to doubt)
  
• Next scene - 2 uncrustables with a sunkist orange soda (her urine MUST BE RADIOACTIVE. IT MUST BE)
  
• Next scene - Hambone is sitting again and showing us her next meal. Taco bell. She got cinnamon twist, a taco, a black bean burrito. She asked for french fries inside. She says she is drinking water with this. Liarlynn says she does not get drinks from uber usually because it gives her the creeps (NOW someone tell me why she is sitting here LYING. This is the same grimeypop that paid like $15 to have uber deliver her a soda)
  
• She is doing questions from her comments because she saw Life plus cindy doing it
  
• Questions time! Question 1 - "how much delta 8 you doing over there" answer: "quite a bit" Question 2 - about journals. Answer: she loves writing (writerlynn!) Question 3 - bingo something
  
• Question 4 - Someone calls out there are compilations of her bashing her parents. (LOL) ALR says her mom has seen a lot of her videos and thinks she was just shareeeen her story.
  

Goodbye.

I say it into the mirror, brows furrowed and mouth pulled into a tight smile.
“I am happy.” My fingers clutch the edge of the bathroom sink, and a muscle twitches near my eye. Something tugs at the corner of my mind. A thought, maybe. It’s tempting me to peek at it, begging me to acknowledge it and push it out into the light of day, but I can't.
I won't.
My mother calls me from the kitchen. “Are you ready for school?”
“Yes,” I call back. “I am.”
I take another few moments to stare at myself. I burn the image of how happy I am into my memory, just in case I start to forget.
It’s a big day, after all.
The car chokes and sputters as it makes its way to school. I’m in tenth grade and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I know that’s okay. It’s normal. Nobody does.
Except for Maggie Taller, and Suhky Raj, and David Cho, and Adam Wallace. They’re going to be doctors and engineers and carpenters and drug dealers. They’re going to be happy.
We pull into the school parking lot. The van spits out a plume of smoke the size of Jupiter. Once the pollution clears, I open the door and look out over a sea of faces. Some of them are staring back at me. Some of them are snickering. One of them is Maggie Taller, and she’s waving—all red curls and dimples, so I wave back. My stomach does a frontflip.
“Have a good day,” my mother says. I look her way, and her face lights up with an expression that resembles a smile, but it’s not. There’s not enough play in her cheeks. She forgets to engage her eyes.
“I will,” I reply. I use the same smile that I practiced earlier. It’s much better. When I look back to the steps, Maggie is gone, and my stomach settles.
I lurch out of the car. “Honey…” my mother says. She reaches a hand toward me but stops short, almost as if she's worried I might snap at her or bite it off. She stares at me. "Things will get better for us, you know."
I close the door. The car leaves, backfiring as my mother runs the stop sign and nearly collides with an oncoming pick-up truck. It’s okay, though. Nobody is hurt.
I am happy.
The mutters follow me to my first-period English class. The voices are hushed, but loud enough that I can hear them. It’s intentional. It’s by design.
“... walks like a goof.”
“... saw him staring at Maggie’s ass.”
“... smells like a dead animal.”
“... we’ll get him after school.”
I listen to Mr. Yu discuss the significance of metaphor in literature. He spends the hour comparing Animal Farm to Twilight, and demanding why we waste our time reading the latter. He says it’s dumbing us down. He says it’s a problem. I’ve never read Twilight, but I smile and nod all the same.
He asks me to define the word ‘metaphor,’ and I do my best, but I get the answer wrong. Somebody laughs. Why wasn’t I listening earlier, I wonder. What’s wrong with me?
“... what a dumbass.”
I am happy.
At lunch, I get a table to myself. It’s good because it means I have personal space to come up with ten different metaphors for Mr. Yu.
The cafeteria is loud. Too loud. I try to focus on my paper and pen, and I scratch down my favorite metaphor to get started: It’s raining cats and dogs. I look at it and smile. It makes me think of my sister before the horror took her.
I wonder if it will take my mother too.
The other examples don’t come easily for me. My eyes scan the definition of 'metaphor' over and over, but my mind draws a blank. I can’t think. I can’t focus. I wonder where Maggie is sitting today.
A folded piece of paper lands on the table in front of me. I look up to see where it came from– to see who dropped it, but I can’t tell. There are too many people moving around, too many faces swimming, and too many voices drowning my concentration.
I unfold it.
There’s something written on the inside, hastily-scribbled and messy. It says, “YOUR DEAD,” in pencil-gray. A stickman is lying beneath the words, surrounded by three other stickmen. They’re stepping on him. Kicking him. Red pen strokes paint the page haphazardly, trailing from the crying man on the ground. I look closer. The other stickmen are smiling. They’re happy.
Something pulls at the edge of my thoughts. I ignore it.
The bell rings, and school is over. I gather my things and pull my backpack up and over my shoulder. It’s heavy and awkward. It takes me three tries to get it right.
Today is a big day.
I make my way from the school grounds, over the hill that leads to the forest path that runs along the little creek. I make my way home. My arms are tired by the time I get over the hill, but that’s okay. It just means I’m getting stronger. All the work I’ve been doing in the forest is going to pay off.
Voices follow me. I recognize some of them.
“... pervert is gonna get what’s coming to him.”
"... believe it when I see it."
"... heard Maggie moaning about wanting what's inside of him."
"... fuck you."
The forest is full of people. There are joggers and people walking dogs. A homeless man asks me if I have any change, and I say that I’m sorry, but I don’t. He tries to spit on me but misses.
“... a liar. Gimps like you make bank off disability checks.”
My arms get sore by the time I’m halfway through the forest. I take the same shortcut I usually do, the one that runs by the creek, and there are fewer joggers and dog-walkers. I get nervous, but the babbling sound of the water helps me relax. Today is a big day.
“... I’ll kill him. Watch me.”
“... yeah, right. He’ll be fucking Maggie before you ever get the balls to.”
“... we’ve only been dating two weeks. I’ll fuck her.”
“... not before him.”
Footsteps approach from behind. It sounds like three people and one more in the distance. I don’t see them, but I know them. I know their smiles. I know they’re happy.
A fist connects with the back of my head, and I fall forward, losing control of my crutches. My face smashes against the pavement and my vision swims as pain explodes across my cheek. I taste something in my mouth. Blood. I try to push myself up but my legs aren't cooperating. They're hardly moving. They're useless.
“Crippled fuck!” a voice shouts. It’s Adam Wallace. He's working himself up. “You thought I'd let you get away with staring holes into my girlfriend’s ass?"
I try to say something, but a foot steps on my backpack, and I’m pressed to the ground. The wind’s knocked out of me. I can’t breathe. Shoes connect with my face, one after the other. There’s laughter in the air. A sneaker finds my nose and there’s a crunching sound, and suddenly I can’t stop screaming as warm fluid spills down my face, cascading over my lips. I sputter and whimper. My eyes well up.
“... somebody will see us.”
Hands grab my limp legs. I’m being dragged backward, off of the cement path, and deeper into the forest. I call out, and somebody stuffs a ball of cloth into my mouth. It reeks. It tastes like sweat and filth.
“... bet you wish that was Maggie’s panties, you perverted shitstain.”
I close my eyes. I try to smile. I am happy. I am happy. Tears slip down my cheeks, and something tugs at the edge of my thoughts. I ignore it. I have to.
It takes ten minutes to get to where we’re going. The skin on my elbows is split and torn, caught on too many rocks and roots. They let my limp legs drop with a dull thud. I’m hyperventilating. It’s hard to breathe with the jockstrap in my mouth and a broken nose. There’s death in the air.
I’m rolled onto my back, and I feel my backpack shift against my spine. It’s uncomfortable, but not half as uncomfortable as Adam Wallace wrapping his hands around my neck and strangling me.
“... he’s actually doing it.”
“... I thought he was just fucking around.”
The trees above me fade with the air in my lungs. I gasp and sputter, but there’s no air to breathe and I’m not strong enough to pry his hands from my throat. He leans in close, his lips pressed to my ear. “You think I'm gonna let you cuck me?” he asks, and his voice is dipped in cyanide. “I warned you to stay the hell away from her.”
“... taking too long.”
“... use this.”
I hear the sound of a switchblade opening. The hands around my neck let go, and I take in a lungful of air. My heart hammers in my chest. I try to move, instinctively, and crawl away, but somebody grabs me by my backpack and drags me back.
“... there’s something in there.”
“... open it.”
Four arms wrestle the backpack off of me, and I groan in agony as somebody presses my broken nose into the dirt. I protest but it’s muffled by soil. Nobody hears it. Nobody cares. I hear my knapsack’s zipper being undone, and my pain is washed away and replaced with terror. My body seizes. I forget to breathe.
The moment lasts a lifetime. I know their words before they ever speak them.
What the fuck?
I hear the sound of a backpack hitting the forest floor, and things spilling out of it. I hear gagging. Retching. I hear footsteps stumbling backward. Soon, their shock will be replaced with anger. Rage. Something tears at my mind. It’s crashing against it. Demanding it’s time in the light and roaring at me to stop being such a coward and do something about this. I slam my eyes shut. I can’t. I won’t.
I am happy.
“... filled with dead animals.”
“... he’s a fucking psychopath!”
Hands grip the front of my t-shirt and pull me up from the ground. They’re shouting about the dead squirrel and the dead rat and the dead bird in my bag. A fist connects with my face. Blood hits the ground. Another fist. More blood.
“... what kinda freak collects dead animals?”
“... I'm gonna hurl.”
I open my mouth, and I don’t care anymore. The words come out like a broken dam. It feels good. It feels overdue. “Offerings,” I sputter. “They’re offerings.”
“... he’s lost it.”
“... offerings for what?”
I smile, and my teeth are slick with my own blood. “Offerings to cure me.”
Adam Wallace raises the switchblade, pressing the cold steel against my throat. I close my eyes. Something riots inside of me, throbbing against my skull. I push it back. Death is in the air. Rough hands grip my hair, and I wince as they lurch my head roughly to the side. Adam’s voice is beside me. It's up against my ear. “Offerings, huh? You think you’re some kinda fuckin’ witch, Hermione Granger?”
“No,” I say.
Something shifts in the trees behind Adam and his friends, and a figure steps out from the brush. I recognize them. They've been following us since we left the school.
Suhky recognizes them too. He tries to step in front of Adam and me, to block us from view. Words fall out of his mouth. He's giving them an explanation, maybe. A reason things aren't as bad they seem. He's interrupted by a horrible, wet-sounding jab. Then another. There’s a series of four slick rips, like a pen tearing through paper, or a knife cutting into skin. A gasp.
“... Jesus, Maggie!”
Adam clambers off of me.
“... what’s wrong with you?”
“... she fucking killed him, Adam!"
Suhky falls to the ground. I close my eyes. I am happy. Warm piss soaks the dirt beneath me, and my limbs tremor with anxiety. I am happy.
There’s the sound of panicked feet, but it’s going in the wrong direction. It’s running away from me. The person’s muttering and whimpering, and I think it sounds like Adam Wallace but I can’t be sure.
Somebody else is struggling now. Two voices dance together on my left, just past my vision. A boy and a girl. It's David Cho and Maggie. They’re grunting a symphony of dying breaths. I hear dirt shift and leaves crack beneath stirring footsteps, and the smack of limbs grasping limbs.
There’s another wet jab, and a body drops. David asks, why? Another slick rip. The knife's tearing into him over and over, and he keeps asking why. Why are you doing this? Why me, Maggie? I hear his skin split twice more, and the questions stop.
A girl steps into view, standing above me. Her hair is a wild red, and her face is speckled crimson, just like the knife in her hand. She reaches down, and I think she might help me up, but instead, she starts placing the dead animals back into my bag, one by one.
“You forgot the rabbit,” she says, and her voice is colder than winter. Her eyes appraise me but they're missing something. They're empty. “That demon will kill you, you know. Just like it killed your sister, and just like it'll kill your mother, too. You’re running out of time."
"I know," I say.
“Then give it to me.”
"I'm trying to."
She pouts her lips. Folds her arms. A doll hangs from her neck, and it's dressed in pins and needles and it looks like me. "I told you three offerings, didn't I?" She looks around. "I count two and a bag of roadkill."
Adam.
I have to roll over so I don’t choke on the blood spilling into my throat from my broken nose. “I can’t,” I cough. “I can’t catch him on crutches.”
“Then don’t,” she says with a sneer.
Something tugs at my mind. I close my eyes. I clench my fists. I want to scream and lose control, but I can’t because if that happens, then I’m not happy anymore. People I love will die. They always do. “Can’t you get him?”
“He’s too fast. Besides, the spell is specific. The final offering dies by your hand, or the demon can’t change hosts. Your nightmare doesn't end." Her mouth splits into a wide smile. "You don't have to kill him alone, though."
I stare at her, and I don’t have any words to fight back. She kneels next to me and runs a hand through my tangle of hair, gripping it painfully. She’s smiling, but she’s not. There’s not enough play in her cheeks. She forgets to engage her eyes.
"... now or never."
"... I can't."
"... sure you can."
I whimper as the knife plunges into me, again and again. There’s a ripping sound, followed by another, and another. I clench my eyes. I ball my fists. I am happy. I am happy.
The knife sinks into me once more, and this time Maggie fishes it around my stomach. It twists, and I scream. I thrash and roar. Something escapes. It pulls itself over my bones, wraps itself around my mind, and extinguishes my thoughts before whispering madness into my ears.
I am not happy.
And neither is it.