A bit of background: my mum was diagnosed with psychosis in 2008, she was sort of forced to go in via ambulance as her behaviour was v erratic towards myself and my younger sibling (we were super young at that time). She took her meds for a while and it made her feel very loopy, it was like she was just existing. But she chose to go off it after a year or so because she got better. Her behaviour has been on and off the years after (we tried to deal with it the best we could) but it was hard - to summarise, it was physical abuse in the earlier years and lots and lots of verbal abuse from then till now towards my dad, younger sibling and I, i.e. wishing that we were never born etc. Covid also made her condition deterioriate a great deal cuz she stopped working PT from 2021 till now.
Currently, she is getting worse and worse - saying things that do not make sense, hallucinating, severe mood swings, raging everyday, making death threats to us, and also have alienated all her siblings (my aunts and uncle cut off all contact w her cuz they said she was too much to deal with and keep spamming them with nonsensical deluded texts).
Because she has a very skewed sense of her marriage to my dad (tho he has been nothing but patient and tolerant with her), she keeps telling us to not marry and have kids etc (this is putting it v nicely alr - she said lots of nasty things) and because I have an upcoming wedding and a house (but have not started reno), she has become even more aggressive and angry (even tho we have alr told her 4 years ago abt the house in hopes that she would have time to process and accept it). She has been making even more death threats to us and cursing us to die etc, even my HTB. Also she has been trying to get me to cancel the wedding (I would consider but the cost of the banquet is paid in full alr and it's a lot a lot of money) - and honestly at this point in time, I think she will most likely make a scene at the church + recep if she goes 🙈 She has also been banging around at night and screaming a lot since last year while barging into our rooms (my younger sibling and I share a room) and our sleep and mental health have been really jeopardised.
Honestly we all have no idea what to do - she refuses to seek help or even admit that she is not okay. She screams at us if we even suggest anything close to that. I'm at my wits' end and had breakdowns late last year and early this year (went into A&E) cuz of the immense stress from her side. Just really tired and exhausted. I don't need her to be happy for me (or for us) cuz she has never been supportive since young. I've also been trying to look at it from a different perspective - to separate the illness from the person and not to fault her for it but... it's just tough.
We have researched about sending her in to seek help, but understand that we can't do anything without her consent and also we would need to have a referral letter from a GP or polyclinic in order to do so (in the case of IMH).
Any kind suggestions on what else we can do please? Thanks for reading through this long post and thanks in advance for the advice! Really appreciate it.

Hello! My boyfriend and I recently went to New Orleans and took this on our anniversary!
I would love to see it with enhancing or brightening, cleaning up the background a bit and maybe slimming my hip just a smidge? Thank you! 🙏🏻
$5 Venmo

To celebrate the centenary of Mishima's birth, Penguin will be releasing a collection of 14 of his stories that haven't been published in English before. The UK release date is January 16, 2025. Here's the description from Penguin's site:

"A writer is seized by apocalyptic visions; a voyeuristic marquis commits a brutal act; and a trio of beatniks dance to modern jazz in the ruins of an abandoned church. A new selection of 14 of Yukio Mishima's best short stories from the 1960s - his final decade - Voices of the Fallen Heroes offers a unique glimpse into the mind of one of Japan’s greatest writers. In the title story, ‘Voices of the Fallen Heroes’, a séance brings forth the spirits of young officers in the Imperial Army and the kamikaze pilots of World War II, who decry the Emperor and mourn Japan’s modern decline. In another, Mishima recounts the true story of the time a deranged fan broke into his home at dawn, insisting on meeting the author and imploring him to ‘tell the truth’. Elsewhere, a beautiful youth achieves eternal life through violent murder, and an ill-matched couple seal their fate with a pack of cards, tangled in the web of time and unfulfilled desire. Available in English for the first time, and carefully selected by a team of expert translators, these captivating stories serve as the perfect introduction to Mishima's work, on the 100th anniversary of his birth."

It's great to see a new publication to tie in with the 100th anniversary. Along with the recent string of other new translations, I hope there are still more to come that take advantage of next year's event.
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/463882/voices-of-the-fallen-heroes-by-mishima-yukio/9780241723609

• Assuming the same size as the KCD1 map (4x4 km in-game, about 6x6 km irl, not counting the parts moved into that square from further away like Sasau and Skalitz).
• The trailer shows us the basic locations: Věžák, Trosky, Apolena, Nebákov, probably Semín. That already gives us about 4km west to east as is, so there's not much of a leeway to enlarge the map in those directions without cutting away some landscape.
• That said, the valleys of Věžák and Nebákov do connect just west off the bathing spot, so the map should extend at least that much to the west.
• The church in the background of one of the trailer shots most likely stands in the village of Újezd and would thus be the easternmost location in the trailer.
• To the south it is very likely that village Roveň would be included as the closest possible path to Nebákov keep for horses and such lies just few hundred meters away from Roveň and the keep seems to be generally associated with the village. Roveň also easily falls into the map area if it's square shaped and not extending to the north.
• Extension to the north seems unlikely:
  • The closest major point of interest in that direction would be the castle Skála, which is however good 2,5 km away and is directly connected to a packed 4x4 km area further north that could be a separate map on its own with all the keeps and castles there - even if devs were to cut away the landscape in between, it wouldn't make much sense to have it separated from other locations further north.
  • Another point of interest, this time in NW direction would be the village of Vyskeř. Vyskeř however features a somewhat dominant hill that should be visible in the background of the Trosky wideshot in the trailer. There is however no such hill and the landscape actually becomes very generic beyond the Věžák valley, which is another reason I believe the map doesn't extend to the north much further than this valley.
• In south direction then the very likely addition would be Mladějov. The place had its own wooden keep at the time (exact layout seems to be unknown) and at least today is one of the larger settlements around.

So that's roughly what I'd expect the map in KCD2 be like - that is with some shrinking/cuts to the landscape taken into account. Besides that, the map corners offer some further options:

• Ktová is a small settlement, the closest to Trosky from the NE direction and within the aforementioned map area it could easily sit in its NE corner.
• SW corner of the map is now somewhat empty and could in theory include the villages of Libošovice and the nearby Nepřívec. Libošovice is also the second candidate to the church from the trailer after Újezd - both have the same looking church, however both have built it much later in a place of an older church. On the other hand, Libošovice is already somewhat geographically detached from Trosecko and would likely have more to do with the castle Kost further west and town of Sobotka further south. It's a possible corner-filler, but I wouldn't bet on it.
• Castle Pařez has appeared several times as a misidentification of Nebákov and is actually well outside the abovementioned map boundaries, however it may be possible to move and cram it into the SE corner of the map. In itself it's really "only" interesting as simply being a small castle - what is perhaps more interesting is that it lies on the edge of Prachov Rocks. The Prachov Rocks itself is another large attractive area too big and too far to be included as a whole, however taking just its nearby parts and using them as a major bandit hideout would work as a great set piece. That said, the inclusion of Pařez alone is already pushing the map limits, so I really wouldn't bet on this on either.

So, uh, yea. This was kinda sitting in my head for a while and I wanted to throw it out there.
https://preview.redd.it/vszd0q28lo0d1.png?width=704&format=png&auto=webp&s=b824f051e93285bfed75771cb105bef7e6bf53a5

Myrtle Beach SC News article dated May 15, 2024
Documents Invalid & A.I. Endorsement
FOR REDDITORS UNABLE TO OPEN LINKS
Mica Miller mental health documents not legally notarized
Members of Attorney Tom Winslow’s team sent us a statement that legal medical filings surrounding the Mica Miller mental health issues were not legally notarized.
Mica Miller died of what has been ruled a suicide at Lumber River State Park on April 27th. The FBI is now investigating the case.
Suicide Claims, Mica Miller Mental Health Records, And Notary Issues
Despite the fact Pastor JP Miller admitted from the pulpit to being suicidal in October 2023, just two months later JP was able to receive a health care power of attorney from Mica signed Dec. 5. Tom Winslow, of Winslow Law, was the attorney that orchestrated this legal filing.
Texts received by MyrtleBeachSC News show that Power of Attorney documents were supposedly signed by Mica Miller on December 4th at the Solid Rock church. However, those documents were not notarized by Winslow Law employees (Briyana and Tiffany) until the next day at Winslow’s law office.
According to the S.C. Secretary of State, a notary must be present at the actual signing of such documents to prevent fraud.
Two months later, according to the Myrtle Beach Police Department, Mica was “involuntarily hospitalized” on Feb. 8, 2024. But what makes the case even more odd is that JP’s power of attorney documents were not filed until March 20, 2024, despite having been signed and notarized three months prior.
Is Tom Winslow An Expert At Artificial Intelligence - Deep Fake Voice Audio?
Today, we report on Tom Winslow A.I. claims as he touts the importance of A.I. in his law practice. At the bottom of this article, readers can view terrifying texts sent out by J.P. Miller to Mica in November 2022.
We recently published that Pastor JP Miller, and his attorney, Tom Winslow were persons of interest in the Mica Miller “Suicide” FBI probe. Some readers questioned how we could report this with such confidence at that time.
We need to point out that Tom Winslow and JP Miller are not charged with any crimes, and even if they should be, they are considered innocent until proven guilty.
JP Millers Documented Sexual Encounters
According to DailyMail: “Miller’s first wife, Alison, filed for divorce in 2015 after discovering he was having an affair with Mica, who was 14 years his junior.” Alison also claimed that “Miller had an addiction to prostitutes and had ‘sexual encounters’ with underage girls.” She continued, “He had also confessed to me and other staff members of the church that he had sexual encounters with young females from the church, who were under the age of 16.”
The lawyer representing JP Miller in his first divorce case was S.C. State Representative Val Guest.
Mica's Statements About Suicide
Mica’s sister, Sierra Francis, said, “Mica stated to me on many occasions, ‘If I end up with a bullet in my head’, it was JP,” referring to her husband, John Paul Miller. In a written affidavit, Seirra writes, “I know my sister to have expressed the abuse and violence against her by her husband to others, including family members and members of the church congregation. My sister also expressed to me that she was fearful that she would not make it to the divorce and that her life would be taken from her.”
JP Miller Attorney Tom Winslow A.I Endorsement
In the video above, Tom Winslow touts that his law practice is an advocate for the use of Artificial Intelligence. Winslow makes it a part of his practice.
Winslow is a member of Solid Rock Church. His wife is part of the praise team.
Also, as we reported yesterday, Attorney Tom Winslow owns 200 acres of land that backs up to the state park area where Mica’s body was found.
All of this is circumstantial, at best, but it is also very curious.
*The Call Made By Mica At Lumber River State Park?
Mica wrote to her attorney: “Since the day we became husband and wife, I have been abused in every way I can think of. Emotionally, sexually, spiritually, financially and physically. He has harassed me physically and electronically with letters, phone calls, emails and texts, hacking my emails, hacking my personal Facebook and impersonating me. Using my stolen phone to send texts and emails out to church members pretending to be me, texting friends and family saying that I am sleeping with teenagers from our church, and showing up in person at places around town … to having installed three different tracking devices on my vehicle.”
MyrtleBeachSC News learned that JP was in possession of a mobile phone he had stolen from Mica. Anyone who has left an outgoing, “I am not available now” message on their phone, knows that a recorded version of her voice was likely on that mobile phone.
According to the Robeson County Sherriff, at 2:54 p.m., a 911 call was made from Lumber River State Park parking lot.
Miller is calm throughout the call, asking a dispatcher if her phone can be tracked. The operator asks for Miller’s phone number and location, and then why she was calling.
“I’m about to kill myself, and I just want my family to know where to find me,” she replies.
How Deep Fake A.I. Voice Works
Was the Tom Winslow A.I. knowledge put to use in this matter?
Audio Capture And Signal Processing
The first step in AI voice recognition is audio capture. This is where the spoken words are recorded.
The audio is then processed to remove any background noise. This ensures that the system can clearly hear the spoken words.
Signal processing also involves enhancing the quality of the audio. This makes it easier for the system to recognize the speech patterns.
Pattern Recognition And Machine Learning
Pattern recognition is the core of AI voice recognition. It’s the process of identifying the spoken words in the audio signal.
Machine learning plays a crucial role in this process. It helps the system learn and improve its ability to recognize speech patterns.
Over time, the system becomes more accurate. It learns to understand different accents, dialects, and even nuances in speech.
Real-World Examples Of Deep Fake A.I.
AI voice recognition is not a futuristic concept. It’s already a part of our daily lives.
You may have interacted with it without even realizing. It’s present in many devices and applications we use every day.
Miller Says Church Services Are As Usual
In a social media post yesterday, Miller states, “Solid Rock is alive and well and we are moving forward with our new building project. We are excited to see all members at our meeting May 19th at 5 p.m.
The FBI is just starting this investigation and no one knows where it will lead. The Tom Winslow A.I. practices may only prove to be circumstantial. The Mica Miller mental health records are sure to play a roll in this saga. Time will tell where this leads.
Question: Were Public Posts Like This One From JP Miller Abusive?
Miller, pastor at Solid Rock Church in Myrtle Beach, told his sister-in-law that he would be arriving at her house at 1 a.m. on November 17, 2022, where Mica was visiting.
After Sierra warned that he wouldn’t be allowed in their home, he challenged her, saying ‘you can call the cops’.
A few moments later, he replied: “I’m armed. I’m ready. Mica can fix all of this“, to which Sierra replied: “THIS doesn’t help anything. Threats and intimidation only make things worse.”
‘I don’t care (idc) Driving. I can’t text. Thanks.’ said the disgraced pastor.
In response, Miller replied, “Hahaha” when told cops wouldn’t be called if he stayed home.

Where to begin…
I guess it started six years ago, after my brother-in-law passed away at 23 years old because of cancer. I grew up Mormon and actively go to church every Sunday. I have a position that is seen as “high up” in the church. After my brother-in-law passed away, I had an existential crisis that I’m still battling today.
Fast-forward a year, I go on a diving trip to Belize and I tried my first drink then. I got blasted that trip for the first time. I hate the taste, but I love how it made me feel. I guess that’s when it all started. My wife doesn’t like that I do it. Last year for our anniversary, I promised that I wouldn’t drink for a year. I made it a whole year. And then it came back harder than when I left it. I don’t let my kids know that I drink. Recently, I am going through 1.75 mL of 35% and 750 mL of 40% in about a week. I get home from work, then I go to the closet and I take 8-12 gulps straight from the bottle.
My wife feels alone. For work, we moved across the country away from family. Nobody really knows about my drinking. She does a good job at keeping things to herself and not sharing with others. But I guess that’s where she struggles. I’m embarrassed and I’m afraid of going to Alcoholics Anonymous in case I see somebody there who knows me. So I turned to this group, wanting to talk and share my experience here.
Today is day one of no drinking. The problem I guess is, I don’t think I have a problem. I can stop when I want. However, the feeling I get when I come home from work makes all my problems go away. I feel like I am more patient with my kids and am more involved. I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost the trust of my wife, and I know that what I say means nothing now and that I have to start building back the trust.
Actions speak louder than words.
Here is to day one.

In case you are new here, I am the founding moderator of this subreddit. Every time there is either a birth or a death anniversary of one of the victims I post, and encourage others to post, tributes onto the subreddit. Today would have been John Kilbride’s 73rd birthday, and I was both incredibly shocked and moved to see that the tribute I posted stands at over 200 upvotes - no post on this subreddit has ever broken 100 upvotes before, let alone 200.
If anything, this goes to show just how much of an impact the stories of John and the other victims (let’s say their names - Pauline Reade, Keith Bennett, Lesley Ann Downey and Edward Evans) have had on people - and continue to have all of these years later.
The overwhelming majority of posts in this subreddit, both by myself and other members, pertain to his killers and this is because this community exists to discuss with and educate others around the crimes (the backgrounds of the perpetrators, their motivations, the impact that their actions had, their psychologies etc.) - there is so much misinformation, speculation, sensationalism and contradiction out there that it unfortunately overwhelms a lot of the actual facts. I do my best to make sure that the stories of their victims don’t get lost in these discussions, and so do so many of you all too - that is evident today.
I am unsure if any of John’s surviving relatives are aware of this subreddit, but if anybody out there who knew or was related to John happens to be reading this post somehow, just know how much his story has impacted so many of us - even those who were far too young to remember these crimes, and (in many cases, including my own) were born decades after them. It is a testament to you for sharing stories of his kind nature, and your memories of him over the years that have painted him as far more than a murder victim - he was a human being. His legacy now is that we all know that he was a boy who was so helpful, joyful, loved and loving.
This is what today is about, and in the context of this horrendous case as a whole, this is the ONLY thing today should be commemorating.

I've posted this as a comment, but think it might be better suited as a discussion post here so I've copy and pasted it 😅
I really enjoyed this episode but personally think it could have benefitted from being a two parter. Here's my thought process on this:
For a start, I felt the ending was pretty rushed (a common issue in new who, in general, I get that), so a second episode would've allowed them to build up the secret chord some more.
I also thought that the beatles were seriously under utilised. I personally feel previous episodes featuring historical characters were best when those characters were front and centre and key to the plot. I do get that they are the ones who found the chord, and I wouldn't change that at all, but they felt more like a lucky mcguffin than a built-up plot point. It could be argued that yes, them being in the episode alone builds up that they'll have something to do with resolving the threat but within the confines of the story without that meta detail we pick up on as audience I felt underwhelmed. With them being so well known and such a cornerstone of pop culture, it could also be interesting to explore a world without their influence and just seeing them as regular people trying to live normal lives with Ruby and the doctors reaction to this could've further explore maestros effects on this world.
More time could allow us to explore more of what a world without music would look like. With the popularisation of things like brutalist architecture and whatnot in the 1960s, it could have been an excellent backdrop for a truly bleak world, perhaps even draining the colour from the screen and a muted score. This could also help make Maestro stand out even more in contrast (not that they needed help with that, the only change I'd make to maestro is have more of them but that's just because I really enjoyed their performance) as well as bringing more of an overt score. With the backdrop of a bleaker, more uniform and utilitarian world it could also have allowed RTD to explore the importance of diversity and of self expression in the world in a more subtle way which ties in more directly with the plot.
We could also see more of the lead up to nuclear war. The Cuban missile crisis would've happened 2 years previously, so there was already a palpable sense of dread during this time about the possible threat of nuclear annihilation. It wouldn't have to be overt or directly addressed. Just set dressings and background details could've gone a long way to build up the bleakness of what the world has become without music.
I also feel it would've built up maestro as an even greater threat. The last member of the pantheon we saw was the toymaker, and he appeared in a special, which resulted in the doctor regenerating (well, bigenerating). Having maestro as just a villain of the week, I feel undermines their power level a bit and that of the pantheon if they can be dealt with in a single episode. To this end, I would've also not had this be the 2nd episode. Ruby's line "you never run" feels un-earned at this point, not to mention the doctor was running away in fear literally the last episode. I feel moving this episode back would've given this line more weight, maybe even have the start allude to adventures taking place off screen between episodes like previous seasons had done.
It would've also allowed more time to develop the character of Ruby. This may just be me, but I don't really have a strong sense of her personality outside of just... nice. She's just a nice person to me so far, a bit boring to watch. Bits like where she felt self conscious about playing the piano and had to be encouraged by the doctor could've been explored more to explore some of her insecurities, her surrounding herself and feeling more of an affinity towards the lgbt community could go someway to exploring how she feels like an outsider with more in common with them than most of mainstream society, which could also play into the mystery of her birth and who she is.
More time also could mean more maestro. I really enjoyed maestro. That is all. Actually, it's not. I wanna go on a tangent here and talk about maestro. They're the kind of campy villain I love. Someone who's so powerful and is clearly having a great time because what are you going to do about it? They don't need to be sneaky. They don't need to ensure each step of their meticulous plan is carried off without a hitch. They're a god in their element, so of course they're going to have fun with it. But still with an element of menace. A sort of "you're only alive because I'm curious to see where this goes" or have an ego driven need to beat their opponent instead of just killing them. And to those complaining, they're played by a drag queen... First, really? Secondly, why would a god give a damn about our ideas of gender? Especially a god of music and the expressionism that comes with the territory.
Back on topic also could have explored more of the doctor. So far I feel ncutis iteration is a bit safe and hasn't really been challenged so far, with ten having worked on his issues it could be that he leans in a bit more to his cocky over confident side so when moments like him trying to find the secret chord himself and ending up with a bum note could've been played him to knock him down a peg and remind him of his humility (another reason for this episode to be later in the season). It also could be interesting to see the doctor still friends with Ruby and close to her, but also a little wary of her. Given maestros reaction to her secret song, the memories of her being left at the church changing and the snow appearing is reason enough for him to grow a little concerned about who exactly is she. This episode reminding him of humility and that he isn't invincible could explore him being a bit more cautious with her subsequently, perhaps concerned he may be biting off more than he can chew here.
Wow this turned into a bit of thesis. I didn't mean to but once I started I couldn't really stop. I'll say again, I did enjoy this episode. It was a lot of fun and there was a lot I think it really got right, these are just a few of my thoughts of things I personally would've liked to have seen. I've no idea what the rest of the season has in store so I may well get my wish in later episodes or realise that in the grand scheme of things these ideas wouldn't work but happy to discuss and hear your opinions on them. 😋

Haiii, i rlly into the kingdom of apes franchise, and recently the new film just got released "kingdom of the planet apes" which i really wanted to watch ittt.
But movie like Tarot, and Vina also acceptable.
At first i am thinking to go by myself, but yeah i want to expand connection or to know someone new, so i decide to make this thread.
My background is uni student, IT bachelor on semester 4/5, i like to talk about religion , even tho i am atheist. I go to church, mosque. Join ekaristi but for protestant one ( tbh, idk it protestant or charismatic ). Andddd ya sometimes i do the gym ( typical lack of consistent person ), playing board game ( i really like this one ) also very avid food enjoyer, i will travel to any place just for a food. August i will be going to thailand, try to eat scorpion
And i do watch anime / manga / webtoon, practically, if it werent for uni organization or work related thing, on weekend i will spend my time reading webtoon.
Lastly, i really like economy, i have decent knowledge of accounting ( i rlly like to evaluate a company for investing ), geopolitic, investing, and stuff
My mbti is ENTP ( even tho i am not really believe this shit ). And i seen my self as very liberal person.
And i will sedikit curhat.
It been suck, i tried to watch it with my friend, he said.
"A movie watch with you mean less movie watched with my girlfriend"
Dang, he really leave me for his girl.
And secondly i got berkelahi with one of my closest friend, i tried to ask him to accompany me, but he doesnt want to, maybe he really frustate about what happen last time.
Simply this happen because, in project group, i've been pretty passive and not doing any work, because lately i often go to other cities like depok or jakarta, to do meeting on some non school project.
So yeah pretty long, i guess? See you

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

https://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus/more-than-1000-high-level-dup-messages-show-party-top-brass-mocking-the-catholic-church-laughing-at-rivalsand-deputy-first-ministers-care-for-the-vulnerable/a1175830802.html
Remarkable insight into DUP Executive team during the Executive after Edwin Poots handed over massive WhatsApp group – unlike Michelle O’Neill who deliberately wiped her messages after being given legal advice not to do so
More than 1,000 internal text messages between the DUP's most senior figures have been published by the Covid Inquiry, providing an unprecedented insight into what the party really thought and how it operated during the pandemic. The WhatsApp messages, some of which are acutely embarrassing for senior party figures, are being made public after they were given to the inquiry by former DUP minister Edwin Poots, now the Assembly Speaker, and have been published tonight.
That is in stark contrast to Sinn Féin, whose Stormont leader Michelle O'Neill admitted to the inquiry yesterday that she deliberately deleted everything from all her devices despite being warned by the Head of the Civil Service not to do so and despite being given written legal advice which specifically said text messages and WhatsApps should not be deleted.
So far, the inquiry hasn't published a single internal Sinn Féin message.
The DUP messages are from a WhatsApp group containing its Executive ministers, special advisers, and other senior party figures.
They show the party lampooning the Catholic Church, a message from Emma Little Pengelly that the public were looking for a "strong man", but also Mrs Little Pengelly's personal concern for some of the most deprived members of society, reminding colleagues that she came from a poor background.
The inquiry has made multiple redactions to the 63 pages of messages, some of which are hard to follow for that reason.
One of the individuals whose name has been blacked out appears to be Economy Minister Diane Dodds, who talks about going to vote in the European Parliament, and another is First Minister Arlene Foster, who confirmed that in oral testimony today.
However, there is no way to know how many other individuals were involved but have their names redacted.
The messages begin when Stormont returned at the start of 2020 following three years without devolved government.
Someone whose name has been blacked out by the inquiry said on 17 January 2020: "SF doesn't seem to have matured at all!!"
Emma Little Pengelly - then a special adviser but now deputy First Minister - replied sarcastically: "Well, why not - let English taxpayers subsidise our free prescriptions, lower rates, no water charges, lower tuition fees and free prescriptions...but hey, how dare you guys starve us of funding? #Perfidious Albion".
Agriculture Minister Edwin Poots responded: "And a £100m pa on welfare mitigation". Education Minister Peter Weir said: "Are any of [us] really surprised?"
The first reference to covid is on 23 January when an individual whose name has been blacked out said: "I hear there's a suspected case of this virus in RVH."
In apparent reference to Sinn Féin calling Michelle O'Neill 'joint head of government', someone said "this must be a new title bestowed on Michelle"; another person said: "they are at this all the time".
Another person whose name is hidden said: Certainly they cannot have that on official communications".
Mr Weir, whose messages are often laden with humour, said: "Perhaps I should start calling myself George Clooney, it's just as accurate".
The Education Minister said on 13 March: "I see on PA, Archbishop Eamon Martin is writing to me urging me to close all the schools. Wasn't aware of his qualifications in virology."
Someone whose name has been blacked out said: "Write back and tell him we don't live in the South and that his institution hasn't the best track record of looking out for the welfare of kids."
The following day, in an apparent reference to Sinn Féin, someone denounced "panicking people" and "totally irresponsible" behaviour.
On 14 March, in a reference to civil servants, someone said that "some of the officials don't inspire me".
The next day, Mr Weir said that solicitor Kevin Winters had launched a judicial review of the decision not to close schools. An unidentified person responded: "Read SF for KW". Mr Weir replied: "Indeed."
The messages show that DUP ministers genuinely believed they would be hurting people - and even endangering lives - by taking radical measures to shut down society.
But in their evidence to the inquiry several DUP ministers, including Arlene Foster and Edwin Poots, now accept that they should have locked down sooner.
On 14 March, Mr Weir said that "above all other considerations will be our protection of human life, which the best opportunity to do so is following the professional advice. If in the long run we can spare one extra family from the tragic loss of a loved one then we will have done the right thing rather than the politics of panic of others."
In another message, he said: "There is crazy stuff going about which if acted upon would simply cost lives."
On 15 March, Emma Little Pengelly lamented how teachers seemed to think they wouldn't be going to work once schools closed.
Mr Weir replied: "We could do with a few unnamed ministers not coming to work."
Two days later, Mr Poots said he was "under pressure with CAFRE", the agricultural college. Referring to Sinn Féin, he said: "The public are looking to us for leadership and we can't afford to be scrapping with them. That doesn't mean giving them want they want but need agreement."
Ms Little Pengelly's influence as Mrs Foster's key spad is evident. On 17 March, she set out how lockdown was likely days away and they needed to propose multiple measures including a single website for all pandemic information and "a stateswomanlike address to NI by FM and DFM".
She said: "We also need to be aware that in behaviour science terms we are now dealing with emergency, war time like circumstance - ergo people want to see what is termed in political science as 'strong man' political leaders - (now strong women..) - this is very well established. Strong and serious, calm and professional."
She urged ministers to be "empathetic and understanding" to the pressures faced by those struggling financially, reminding them that "those on working tax credit get free school meals (FSM}, many on that benefit DO work but may find themselves on reduced hours or redundant...and many of those on FSMs are our voters (I am saying this as a child who was a FSM child for many years)."
There is a gap of about a month in the messages. On 22 April, Mr Weir said: "Hargey has [another few words have been blacked out by the inquiry as 'irrelevant and sensitive']! She's had a tough paper round clearly."

Do y'all know the group CLASS:y? What are your thoughts on them? It's been literally years since they have given a comeback album, and most recently their anniversary live came with controversies (such as the poor design of the background). It's sad to think that they're literally a full package group, not to mention the survival show MY TEENAGE GIRL where they came from are filled with legendary covers and performances and somehow their company managed to ruin the girls' talents. Also what stings the most is that they're 7-year contract. They wasted all the years of those young girls.
Anyways, listen to their discography. They have bunch of cool and good songs

I came from a religious background and had to hide my queerness and identity from the people in my life well into adulthood for safety reasons.
Recently, a person from high school reached out to me and wanted to reconnect. I told him I was busy, but I appreciated his message and wish him all the best. Didn't work. So I ripped off the band aid and told him I was gay and queer.
"I have a certain kind of stance on that which you may not like, but we can still be friends."
"Well don't be shy on my account. What stance?"
"I don't believe in the LGBTQ and nonbinary worldviews. I believe there is only male and female and that only male and female should be together. I have come to this conclusion through theological study and my own struggles with porn addiction and chronic masturbation as well as thinking I might have been gay in high school. Because of my religion, I can tolerate your identity and sexuality but I cannot affirm it. I would like to be a supportive friend in other ways."
Amazing stuff. So my identity is fake, my sexuality is a sin, but you want to be a supportive friend? Also, you came to this conclusion through theological study? Red flag. That's not scientific and it rejects all evidence to the contrary of your hypothesis, which is an inefficable way to research any topic, especially one with such depth as gender theory and sexuality.
Also, LGBTQ is not a worldview!!! They are queer identities! They're not worldviews, they are people with entire lives of experiences that you discount at the expense of your relationships with those people all the time.
The bigger problem here is that the language used is so dehumanizing, invalidating and self righteous, but if you call it out, you're the asshole for not respecting their religious worldview.
Christians, please, stop being so exhausting. This is why queer people dread coming out to you. You make it all about you and how you're right and we're wrong. This guy didn't even ask me about my identity or my life or how I am or how it was getting to where I am today with the church or anything. Just went right into making it about him. Maybe if you listened to queer people and didn't exclude them from the church's discussion about queer identities, you'd learn something that wasn't written back when the newest technology was a siphon.

Hi everyone, I am a research librarian at Northeastern and I want to advertise three co-ops at the library which are still looking for the right candidates. All three are full-time fall co-ops (July to December) which have a different mix of communication skills and technology skills required.
ID 110579 - mostly communications, learn about geospatial data
This is a co-op position supporting geospatial research at NU, for which the most important qualifications are outstanding outreach and writing skills, as this co-op will play a pivotal role in coordinating future events, including GIS Day, and conducting outreach for our planned centralized GIS system. No prior experience with geospatial data is required, as there will be opportunities for training as part of the position.
I think the right folks for this position have been overlooking the ad because they assume they'd need data and GIS skills for it, but in fact you don't even need to know what GIS stands for. (It's "Geographic Information System" -- basically, digital mapping.) As an example project for the kind of work this program does, take a look at The Fugitive Barbados Mapping Project: that was done by a history student with no prior background in GIS, taught by my colleague. So please don't be scared off by the job title, and give it a look! You can also reach out to Bahare Sanaie-Movahed at [b.sanaiemovahed@northeastern.edu](mailto:b.sanaiemovahed@northeastern.edu) if you have any questions.
ID 110593 - mix of communications and digital research tools
Works at the intersection of the library’s Boston Research Center and University Archives and Special Collections to develop public histories and programming using data and archival research.
Projects may include support for the 115th anniversary of co-operative education at Northeastern, digital exhibit curation, physical exhibit curation, support for resource center and student group programming on campus, and social media campaigns. This co-op offers an opportunity to refine and improve their research and communication skills while learning how to use information organization platforms and digital scholarship tools. Work will also include day-to-day collections research, reference, and instruction support.
ID 110512 - for someone who can already code
The Digital Scholarship Group in the Northeastern University Library (https://dsg.northeastern.edu) invites applications for a coop position as DSG Lab Developer. This position will work closely with the DSG Data Engineer and other DSG staff on the development of an initial version of the DSG Data Lab. The Data Lab is planned as an online platform to showcase complex data generated by DSG’s projects and collaborations, through a variety of different visualizations. The DSG works with a wide range of faculty and staff on research and teaching projects focused on using digital tools and methods in humanities research, so these projects generate complex data that poses innovative challenges for visualization. This position will run from July through December, 2024.
Responsibilities and tasks will include developing the interface and user experience for the Lab, assisting with data transformation and data pipelines, and developing prototype visualizations based on DSG data sets. Our initial focus is on a data set based on archival records from the Massachusetts Historical Society, but time permitting we may also work with data from other DSG projects. Essential skills include:

• Front-end development skills and experience (Javascript, HTML, CSS, React)
• Experience with data analysis and visualization
• Experience with interface and user experience design
• Experience working with version control and collaborative development tools such as GitHub

To learn more about any of these jobs or to apply, please look them up in NUWorks with their job IDs! I can also try to answer questions here if you have any.

$8 shipping for purchases under $50 otherwise can do free. Let me know if you have any questions or want more pictures.
https://imgur.com/gallery/4wvVsEu
https://imgur.com/gallery/3KOg39W
TPBs:
Dark Days The Road to Metal and Dark Nights Metal TPBs (like new): $20
Black Cat by Jed MacKay 1 and 2 (like new): $28
Star Wars Bounty Hunters TPB 1 (like new): $10
Superman Red Son TPB (Like new): $10
Far Sector TPB (Like new): $16
Gotham by Gaslight TPB (Like new): $10
Batman Sword of Azrael TPB (Good condition): $15
Batman The Dark Knight Returns TPB (Good condition): $12
Batman Year One TPB (Like new): $8
New 52 Superboy TPB 3: Free
Batman Black and White TPB 3: Free
New 52 Superman Action Comics 2: Free
Preacher TPB 1: free
HCs:
Harley Quinn New 52 HCs 1-6 (some wear but overall good condition): $70
Echolands HC 1 (wear to the cover): $20
BPRD The Devil You Know HC (Sealed): $25
Batman Tales of The Demon HC (Sealed): $122
Nightwing Leaping into the Light HC (Sealed): $19
Batman Who Laughs HC (Sealed): $20
Doomsday Clock HC 1 (good condition): $12
Reckless HCs 1-4 (1 is like new and 2-4 are sealed): $55
Sandcastle HC (Good condition): $18
OHCs:
Trick r Treat HC (good condition): $28
Fables Deluxe Editions 1 and 2 (Good condition): $35
Hack Slash Deluxe Editions 1 and 2 (1 like new, 2 sealed): $60
The Goon Library Editions 1 and 2 (Sealed): $150
Avatar The Promise Library Edition (Sealed) $25
Batman Detective Comics Deluxes 1-4 (Sealed): $110
East of West 2 DCBS CVR (Sealed): $100
The Deluxe Gimenez (Sealed. Little ding in one corner): $58
Usagi Yojimbo Special Edition HC Box Set (Sealed): $92
Nailbiter HCs normal CVR 1 and DCBS CVR 2 ( 1 good condition and 2 sealed): $125
Blacksad HC 1 (Sealed): $20
V for Vendetta 30th Anniversary HC (Sealed): $30
Tomb Raider Library Edition 1 (Sealed): $175
Hellboy Library edition 1 (Sealed): $30
Fatale Deluxe Edition 2 (Sealed): $50
Oblivion Song Deluxe Edition 1 and 2 (Sealed): $46
Omnis:
Savage Sword of Conan Omnibus 2 DM Cover (sealed): $150
Superman by Tomasi Omnibus (Has a ding that went through the dust jacket, spine and binding): $60
Justice League International Omnibus 2 (sealed): $75
Superman and Batman Generations Omnibus (Sealed): $40
Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Omnibus (Sealed): $28
100 Bullets Omnibus 1 (Sealed): $85
Alias Omnibus DM CVR (Sealed): $88
Runaways Omnibus (Sealed. A little wear to the dust jacket though.): $130
Green Arrow Longbow Hunters Omnibuses 1 and 2 (Sealed): $160
The Authority Omnibus (Sealed): $250
New Mutants Omnibuses 1 and 2 (Sealed): $190
Man Thing DM CVR (Sealed): $75
Loki Omnibus 1 by Stan lee (Sealed): $66
The Infinity Gauntlet Omnibus (Sealed): $170
She-Hulk by Peter David Omnibus (Sealed): $45
Silver Surfer Omnibus 1 (Sealed): $60
Untold Tales of Spiderman DM CVR Omnibus (Sealed): $70
Spiderman by McFarlane Omnibus (Sealed): $55
X-Men Inferno Omnibus DM CVR (Sealed): $220
X-Men Inferno Prologue Omnibus (Sealed): $100
X-Men Mutant Massacre Omnibus 1st printing, Red Background (Sealed): $100
X-Men Fall of the Mutants Omnibus (Sealed): $60
X-Men by Hickman Omnibus (Sealed): $65
X-Factor Omnibuses 1 and 2 (Sealed): $150
Daredevil by Soule DM CVR Omnibus (Sealed): $160
Daredevil by Brubaker Omnibus 1 (Sealed): $84
Daredevil by Bendis Omnibus 2 (Sealed): $112
Thanos Wars Infinity Origin Omnibus (Sealed): $115
Captain America by Brubaker Omnibuses 1-3 (1 is like new 2 and 3 are sealed): $240
What if? Omnibuses 1 and 2 (1 like new and 2 sealed): $150
Superman The Exile Omnibus (Sealed but has got banged up a bit. Corners have some dings and one ding one the bottom corner of the pages): $105
Deathstroke Omnibus (Sealed): $130
Deadly Hands of Kung Fu 1 Omnibus (Sealed): $65
Catwoman of East End Omnibus (Sealed but corners have some wear): $55
Batman Knightfall Omnibuses 1 and 2 (1 has a little wear to corners/dust jacket but is in good condition and 2 is sealed): $200
Absolutes:
Sandman Overture Absolute (Sealed): $70

I, F27, come from a family of white-collar career people. My Dad 60M owns his own business and my mom 57F is a pediatric surgeon. My older brother M30 is a lawyer and loves to boast about how much money he makes. He is always buying new watches and expensive suits. He also drives a Porsche and is engaged to who will be his third wife.
I've always been more introverted than my brother and I tend to fade into the background. I created and operate my own business and make a more than decent living. My husband is a master electrician, and he owns a very successful business, he makes more than 3x what I do. We are a DINK couple (Double Income, No Kids); however, we keep our income very lowkey and don't spend money like my brother does. My parents are aware of how much my husband makes because we paid for their 35th wedding anniversary getaway and my dad saw the price tag.
We were at Mother's Day on Sunday, and both my brother and I bought nice things for our mother as gifts. He bought her jewelry and I got her a certificate for several hand massages at a spa near the hospital she works at. My mother thanked us, and my brother decided that it would be a good time to brag about how much the necklace cost, looking at my husband and joking about how he could never afford to buy a necklace like the one he got my mother. How my husband could never afford anything on an electrician's wage. He carried on like that until I had enough of him insulting my partner, who worked harder than my brother to get where he's at.
I yelled at my brother to shut up, and that my husband easily makes twice what he does and that he should sit his ass down and be more respectful. "Mother's Day is about mom, not you." were my exact words. After my brother left, soon after I snapped at him, I apologized to my mom, and we went on to have a wonderful dinner, where mom told my husband embarrassing stories about me when I was little.
My husband thanked me for standing up for him and my mom told me she had a lovely night while we were on the phone yesterday and told me she used some of the money on the certificate to get her wrists and fingers massaged after a 10 hour surgery, she told me she was very happy with my gift. My brother's fiancee sent me a tirade of texts blasting me for embarrassing him in front of our parents and calling me an asshole. I feel bad for causing drama but happy I stood up for my husband. AITA?

Hi everyone! Here with a few quick reviews from Nui Cobalt‘s Critters Collection and two new releases from Pulp!
I made my orders upon each release (Critters on 4/26 and Pulp around Pi Day, can’t find my order confirmation for the exact date.) NC was insanely quick as usual and I received my order on 5/2. Pulp was longer, but the owner did send out an email regarding some delays due to health issues. I appreciated their communication, and the slightly longer TAT doesn’t impact my opinion on their scents.
A but about what I like: incense and resins (I’m a sucker for a good church scent), bready scents, atmospherics, WEED. I adore a good cannabis scent. I can’t partake in it anymore, but I love that chewy-spicy-sticky-herbal-slightly citrus smell. I used to strongly dislike lavender, but NC (and BPAL) have phenomenal lavender notes. I also reall like woodsy, forestry, slightly dirty scents- Haus of Gloi Ploughman is one of my favs for its earthy garden soil smell.
Now, onto the reviews!
Nui Cobalt Critters
Golden Retriever: Sunflower, amber resin, budding dogwood, fenugreek, and fresh-baked bread.
This one has the musky, Frito-like dog paw smell, very similar to Death and Floral’s “Happy as a Corgi on Stilts”- or, you know, taking a whiff of your dog’s paws when they’re trying to sleep. The amber is a great compliment, adding some more warmth and sweetness. There’s a bit of a clean laundry/soap smell in the background, maybe that’s the dogwood? I don’t notice the bread- sad, because I adore a good bread note- but maybe it will come out with a few more weeks of aging.
This is safe, but not in an “opposite of adventurous” way- in a comforting way, like cuddling with your dog on the balcony on a summer morning.
Goat: Sweet labdanum and myrrh resins, Himalayan cedarwood, white grapes, green amber, olive leaf, high-altitude lavender, and lemon verbena.
After a couple weeks of aging this is strong on the lemon verbena when I unscrew the bottle and take a whiff. On first application this is all lavender and olive leaf before a lovely sparkling lemon and white grape appears. This is earthy in the way I imagine myself standing on a Greek or Italian hillside in springtime.
Red Wolf: Skin-warmed suede, sweet cedar resin, saffron, red santal, and glowing ginger.
Wolves are my favorite animal, so of course I had to order this. Did you know wolves have lost 99% of their historic range? While they could once be found as far west as Texas, down into Florida, up to the edge of New York and across the Midwest, they are now found only in eastern North Carolina (at least in the wild).
This is sexy. This is cedar dominant on first application, drying to a lovely woody-ambery scent. I love saffron as a note- it gives a sexy sweet vibe that can pull bubblegum when dominant, here adding just a hint of sweet and floral to play with the wood and amber. I don’t pick up on much ginger- it takes a very big huff to find a tiny grating of it- but this is a beautiful scent.
I’m wearing this at a posh hotel bar, sipping Manhattans and luring men and women in with my passion…for talking about climate change and the importance of biodiversity!
Now onto Pulp!
Ballad: Frankincense, pink pepper, tea rose, sandalwood, white patchouli, garden soil, & musk.
At first sniff on my skin this smells a bit like a nice dry white wine and stays that way on first application, with a hint of clean linen. The garden soil lends a bit of earthy dirtiness to what is otherwise very clean to my nose, and I love that. It dries down to a lovely creamy musk scent, like „my skin but better.“
I think I’m at a garden party at a fancy spa in the countryside, alternating sips of white wine and tea, surrounded by a lovely garden.
Neptune: Clary sage, narcotic jasmine, ambergris, artemisia, palo santo smoke, & a hint of cannabis.
Neptune is truly otherworldly. It starts off woody and musky, herbal with the slightest hint of citrus. Then comes the cannabis! WOW, I expected it to be a lot more subtle, but after an hour of wear it really takes center stage- perhaps not the best to wear to work for its first test drive! But if you, lile me, love Cannabis notes you may also enjoy Neptune. The palo santo comes out at the end, adding a bit of smoke to end your trip around the planet.
There’s a scent by BPAL called Namaste that I often wear during longer yoga practices or particularly hot days; I can see Neptune being a contender for that position in my collection. I’m so impressed by the quality of Pulp’s scents. This is worth a full size.
I’m wearing this in a little sunroom on a second story flat, a room full of orange sunshine, wind chimes and singing bowls and incense burners, engaged in a yoga flow before laying on the floor spinning some stoner metal.
Thanks for reading my reviews! What are your favorite Critters and Pulp scents?

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.

Summary

Slovak PM Robert Fico, a pro-Putin populist, has been shot multiple times while visiting small Slovakian town Handlová. Politico reported he was hit in the head and chest. Aktuality.sk reports he was shot once in the stomach and twice in the arm. Five shots were fired in total before the suspect was taken down and apprehended. A 71-year-old named as Juraj Cintula has been arrested. Fico was transported to a hospital in Banská Bystrica. There was a planned rally in Handlová to protest the controversial overhaul of Slovakia's radio and TV services. That rally has now been canceled by the organizers.
JPDU - Video of the moment Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot by Juraj Cintula (HQ, EN subtitles)
JPDU - Video from the scene right after Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot
JDPU - BBC - Slovakia's deputy prime minister says he believes Fico 'will survive' (This is after surgery)
JPDU - A video has been leaked purportedly showing the 71-year-old shooter, Juraj Cintula, explain why he shot Slovak PM Robert Fico (EN subtitles)
How this last video was allowed to go public is currently unknown. Slovaks are asking why the SIS (Slovakia's intelligence agency) didn't catch this in time. The man in the video, alleged to be the shooter, says he is angry with the current political direction of the country. He then implies he is upset about the destruction of RTVS, the Slovak national public broadcaster, as well as the expulsion of Judicial Council president Ján Mazák last month over ostensibly having other judges investigated. Mazák was not allowed to defend himself and claimed it was within his authority to do so.

• This just in: JPDU - Unverified claims Fico assailant Cintula was associated with pro-Russian paramilitary group Slovenskí Branci (SB).

See also:

• VSquare - Slovenskí Branci: a military hobby or armed threat?

However, Cintula appears to be a man of many contradictions. (You'll have to use Google Translate)
Also:

• JPDU - A letter from the Russian ambassador to Slovakia has turned up. Some commentators are saying there is something odd about the fact that only the day of the month and the signature have been added by pen

Things are getting a bit weird. Responses from Fico's allies indicate there will be a draconian response.

Background

Why is all this relevant?
Slovakia used to be part of Czechoslovakia. Hitler occupied the Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia in 1938 after France and the U.K. ceded control. After WWII, Czechoslovakia became a communist state under de facto Soviet tyranny via the Warsaw Pact. Four Warsaw Pact countries invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968 in response to the Prague Spring. In 1989, when the USSR started collapsing, the Velvet Revolution restored democracy. Czechoslovakia dissolved in 1992 into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The capital of the Czech Republic is Prague (which I visited and regard as the most beautiful city I've ever seen) and the capital of Slovakia is Bratislava. Slovakia borders Ukraine directly and is geostrategically important.
Robert Fico is a highly controversial pro-Putin populist attempting to mimic Viktor Orbán's takeover and de-democratization of neighboring Hungary to the South. Quoting from a Politico article from March this year:

Fico is “trying to create a mafia state … where the primary goal is to keep the pyramid of power functioning,” Michal Vašečka, a political analyst at the Bratislava Policy Institute said.

And:

Explainer: Who is Robert Fico?
Robert Fico, Slovakia’s prime minister, was shot today in the town of Handlová, where he had been meeting supporters, and taken to hospital.
Born into a working-class family on 15 September 1964, Fico – a lawyer by profession – began his political career with the Communist party shortly before the 1989 Velvet Revolution that led to the breakup of former Czechoslovakia.
He set up his centre-left Smer-SD party in 1999 after being turned down for a ministerial post by the Democratic Left, the Communists’ political heirs.
Embroiled in allegations of corruption he has always denied, Fico is brash and outspoken, with a penchant for bodybuilding, football and fast cars.
Fico admires both Vladimir Putin, saying he would not permit the Russian president’s arrest under an international warrant if he came to Slovakia, and Hungary’s illiberal leader, Viktor Orbán, “who defends the interests of his country and his people”.
The Smer leader is also a tactician: in a three-decade career, he has navigated successfully between mainstream, pro-EU positions and a fiercely nationalist, anti-western rhetoric destined mainly for domestic consumption, proving more than willing to change tack depending on public opinion or political reality.

Source: The Guardian live thread
What is also notable is that on February 21st, 2018, young investigative reporter Ján Kuciak and his fiancée Martina Kušnírová were murdered in their home in the village of Veľká Mača in south-west Slovakia. Ján had discovered that 'Ndrangheta member Antonino Vadala from the Vadala clan in the south of Italy had ties to two senior government advisers working for Robert Fico. The subsequent widespread protests brought down the Fico government.
For more background, see Vsquare.org - Robert Fico, Slovakia's man who lives for vengeance (2024-05-09) - This article is a must-read.
In any case, this assassination attempt looks like a godsend for Russia and Vladimir Putin.

Recap

Here’s a recap of everything we know about the shooting so far:

• Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico was shot multiple times during a visit to the town of Handlova where he was seen greeting supporters moments before the attack.
• The 59-year-old Putin ally was rushed to a local hospital and has now been airlifted to Banská Bystrica hospital.
• He is in a life-threatening condition, with the next few hours said to be crucial.
• A man was detained at the scene and is in police custody.
• European leaders have condemned the attack, with Rishi Sunak saying: “Shocked to hear this awful news. All our thoughts are with Prime Minister Fico and his family.”
• The shooting comes just three weeks before the crucial European Union Parliament elections.

Source: The Guardian live thread
Updating as we go along.

Reports

Source	Title/Link	Timestamp (UTC) (Descending)
The Guardian - YouTube (unlisted)	Slovakian PM wheeled into hospital in Banská Bystrica after helicopter transfer	2024-05-15T15:22Z
HNOnline.sk	Assassination of Fico: The Prime Minister was shot in Handlova, he needs emergency surgery	2024-05-15T13:50Z
Politico	Slovak Prime Minister Robert Fico shot in head and chest, reports say	2024-05-15T13:31Z
The Guardian	Slovakia prime minister Robert Fico shot and injured	2024-05-15T13:25Z
BBC	Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot	2024-05-15T13:11Z
AP	Slovakia’s prime minister wounded in shooting	2024-05-15T13:07Z
Reuters	Slovak PM Fico shot and injured, TASR agency reports	2024-05-15T11:47Z

Live threads

Source	Title/Link	Latest
The Independent	Slovakia PM shooting latest: Putin ally Robert Fico taken to hospital after gunman attack	Robert Fico not in a life threatening situation, says deputy prime minister
The Guardian	Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico shot in abdomen and undergoing surgery – Europe live	Robert Fico “is expected to survive” following surgery, his deputy prime minister Tomas Taraba said.
Sky News	Slovakia Prime Minister shot - latest: Robert Fico suffers 'brutal' assassination attempt, says president; leader in hospital	Slovak deputy PM believes Fico will survive - report

Previously on Robert Fico

• Politico - Slovakia’s Fico plots to dismantle the free press (2024-05-11)
• Politico - Slovakia, the EU’s next rule of law headache (2024-03-20)
• NOEL Reports - Prime Minister of Slovakia Robert Fico with an appalling video statement regarding the anniversary of the full scale war in Ukraine (2024-02-24)

Before me and my wife got serious, I had expressed to her how important God is to me and invited her to church, this was all about 10 years ago. God used this wonderful opportunity for me to not only share the gospel with the woman who would one day become my wife, but also her entire family. Sure enough her sister also accepted Christ and they were both baptized on the same day in our church.
But recent years have brought many discouraging events. Despite living a life seemingly active and volunteering in our church, last year my sister in law began dating an atheist. My wife and I knew this was unwise, and we told her it was not a good idea, but we at least recommended she being him to church for a few weeks and see how he responds to the gospel, if he doesn’t want anything to do with Jesus, he’s probably not going to be good for you.
Well sure enough fast forward a year later to today (they’re celebrating their 1 year dating anniversary) and within that time, my sister has stopped attending church, no longer volunteers, no longer reads her Bible. This has been especially hard on my wife because the two used to be inseparable, almost annoyingly so lol. But now my wife feels like she is no longer connected to her best friend and is even annoyed by her now.
We tried everything from personally confronting her and expressing our concern, fellow ladies within the church have spoken to her about it, and then finally pastors got involved because she was continually living with/having sex with her boyfriend on a very regular basis all while showing up on Sunday and taking communion and acting like she’s doing nothing wrong.
She still calls herself a Christian, but I see bo fruit in her life and it is sad to say the least. Please pray for her and pray also for myself. I have had a few promising conversations with her boyfriend, where he expresses interest in a relationship with Christ, but he has read the gospels and had many heart to heart talks with me and nothing has changed. He is very difficult to be around. He takes medication for ADHD and even jokes he might be autistic but not on a diagnostic level. And nobody can stand to be around him, Christian or otherwise. He is rude, crude and inappropriate, selfish and not even all that kind to my sister.
Any and all encouragement and prayer is welcome. Thank you fam

Background: Protestant here! I have recently been rebuilding my relationship with Jesus after some years of straying off the path. I have been very fulfilled in my life recently and I am ready to start looking for a new church. I was raised in a Protestant/Non-dom “mega church”. In my personal experiences, the whole concert like worship experience is not for me, it feels over exaggerated sometimes. Worship that brings me closer to God is found within hymns, I find it much more reverent. Over the past month I have been looking at other denominations to affiliate myself with. With my given worship preferences the two most prominent that come to mind would be Catholicism and Lutheran, having my Protestant background I think it would be a given that I favor Lutheranism. And no disrespect to any Catholics, it I just not for me. I found a stunningly beautiful Lutheran church in my city and it has really intrigued me and I do want to attend a service soon. My only issue with this church is the acceptance of same sex marriage, now before going any further, anyone in the LGBT+ community are all our brothers and sisters in Christ, I respect them all equally. However, the word of God trumps anything in this world, and as far as I am concerned it is VERY clear in the scriptures that homosexuality is a sin. I want to get other Lutherans opinions on this matter and help shed some light on this hot button topic, I want to find the understanding for some churches affirming and accepting same sex marriages, when it is condemned in the Bible. I still do plan on attending a service and actually plan on going to the church later today just to pray and meditate. If I am given the chance either today or at the service I do attend I plan on asking a staff member to explain their policies and whether or not they simply accept the LGBT+ members they have in their congregation as practicing brothers and sisters, or if they also allow same sex marriages, and/or if they allow them but condemn homosexual behaviors/sex. I am really not trying to come off rude in this post, I am uneducated on this topic, I have stated my view, so if anyone could kindly explain the perspective that these churches hold in regards to homosexual behavior please let me know.
TLDR: Going to a Lutheran church that may accept LGBT+ marriages, why is this when homosexuality goes against the Bible.
God Bless
Edited for clarification