Disruption
First Prev
There was a moment where Alex thought it might be prudent to reach over and grab Carbon’s jacket, just kinda ground her a little bit given what she’d done to the Royal Guard the other day. But the soldier had specifically told them to move away from him, so that might look like trying to take a hostage and he knew fuck all about this guy’s intentions.
He could say for certain he didn’t particularly enjoy looking down the barrel of a gun, though.
The only upshot so far? This guy, and the whole crew behind him, were composed. The translator was good at managing the nuance of voices and while he was loud, he wasn’t angry. He wasn’t nervous. He was doing his job. Presumably that job was protecting the ship.
From Alex. For reasons that were not obvious to anyone else in the room.
“Sergeant. I assume you believe you have reason to point that rifle at the Prince, but I would like it if you did not.” Carbon switched to Tsla, and she dropped right out of that friendly tone she’d just had, the pleasant demeanor she had carried discarded in favor of an unspoken preparation for violence. Her voice carried that as a promise, hard and low.
To his credit as a professional, the Sergeant didn’t react. He stood his ground, one eye hidden behind the sensor cluster of his rifle’s scope, the other still trained on Alex. “Princess, step away from him. He has attempted to compromise this ship.”
“Fu-” While Alex was emboldened to speak his mind by Carbon’s reaction, cussing the guy out first thing was probably not the best idea. He still refrained from making any sort of movement, as well. He had no idea how he could have compromised the ship sitting around talking about heraldry. “I haven’t done that.”
“He would not.” Carbon swiveled her chair to fully face the Sergeant, the systems on her clothing coming back online with a soft hum before racks of shield emitters that dotted her protective gear popped back to life. “Stand down now or I will make you.”
That got his attention, eyes darting to Carbon and back to Alex even though his firearm never wavered. He seemed to be taking Carbon’s words into consideration, at least, even if he did look unsure of himself now. He swallowed, ears flattening as he gripped the rifle tighter.
“I’d do what she says, just as some friendly advice.” He tried to act nonchalant despite his voice rising as fear crept up his spine. He didn’t enjoy the idea of getting shot, even if he was sure that he could get it fixed up if it was just a round or two in the chest. More time in the mediboard was not on his list of stuff to do. Alex cleared his throat gently, placing his hands on the table before he continued, hoping to set the Sergeant at ease. “Not big a deal anyway, I’m staying in this chair until I find out what’s going on.”
It didn’t seem to help, at first. He was clearly conflicted but his body stayed tense, gray eyes intent on Alex. He lowered the barrel slowly, the weapon still pointed in Alex’s direction but no longer covering him. The rest of his team followed suit.
“Thank you, Sergeant. Explain why you are here.” Carbon had dialed the venom back but her words were still sharp, commanding.
“Lady Sorenson, Communications alerted us to an unexpected transmission from this compartment’s intranet link.” He continued to eye Alex, still ready for action even if he wasn’t set to gun him down immediately.
Alex kept his hands on the table, turning just his head to look at the Sergeant. “And how does that implicate me?”
“Approximately fifteen minutes ago, an unregistered computer accessed the Human Solanet connection and began transmitting an encrypted datastream. All secured non-Tslao equipment has been checked to prevent espionage. You are in possession of the only unsecured Human electronics on the ship.”
“Okay, you know what. That is pretty good.” Alex nodded in agreement. Fifteen minutes ago was about when they arrived in the area, so potentially anything he had on him could have accessed the network. There was one little issue, though. “But. I can’t send any information. The only Human technology I have with me is my translator and implants, and neither of those have the modems to connect to networks like the Solanet. What’s more, no one in their right mind is going to let their brain implants touch the internet.”
Carbon gave a little nod in agreement.
The Sergeant was not so easily swayed. “There is no other place for it to have originated from.”
“I’m just saying, if I wanted to send data, I’d just send it via the milnet. I wouldn’t even have to roll out of bed.” He was getting a little more animated as he worked up his defense. “I had no hand in making this appointment, and I’m supposed to be the one using it as an excuse to ‘compromise’ the ship? Besides, if I had known there was a live Solanet connection, I would be up here daily.”
“The prince speaks the truth. I have seen him and he has no interest in deceit.”
The Sergeant shook his head, obstinate, which was probably a good trait in his line of work. “This is the only compartment with an open link to the Human public Solanet right now. All others are limited to their milnet. Communications stated that the stream originated from an unnamed device, not the workstation that had been issued here.”
That gave Alex something to chew over. Admittedly, it sounded like it locked him in pretty tight, even if he didn’t have the equipment, or inclination to do anything like that. He did have some lived experience that would prove his intentions out, though. “We can settle this right now. I’ll show you what I’ve been doing for the last fifteen minutes. The whole damn morning, if it makes you feel better. Come on, get those things out.” He gestured at the Sergeant’s antenna, currently resting in an interface on the back of his combat shirt.
He looked from Alex to Carbon, even glanced over at Lyshen for half a second. “You can do that?”
“Yeah.” Alex closed his eyes and exhaled a very annoyed sigh. “Yeah I can. I don’t have the antenna, but it still works. It’s a brain layout thing. You know how it works for babies or people who are unconscious?”
“I do.” He contemplated what Alex was saying before shaking his head. “It does not matter. I am not here to determine your innocence. I am here to take you into custody and move into an area where you cannot continue to transmit data.”
“Really. I’m telling you, I’m not transmitting any data. I have no way to do that.” So just fuck off. He didn’t say that part, but it was there. He wasn’t here to compromise the ship, whatever that meant exactly. He wouldn’t spy on anyone! Not on purpose, anyway. He didn’t even like the way just thinking about it made him feel...
But he worked for people who would gladly do so without issue. That was their entire reason for existing! It wasn’t the Civilian Pilot Program on the paperwork to get his Amp replaced, it was the Office of Naval Intelligence. It was the ONI that provided the Internal Translator with a custom language package. Who likely had fingerprints all over every part of his substantial list of wetware, which had been exhibiting unexpected behaviors since he got them. “Oh, fuck!”
“What? What is wrong?” Carbon jerked back around towards him, startled by his sudden burst of profanity.
“I'm fine, I just think he’s right.” Alex looked up at the Sergeant, the easy tone he’d been affecting so far gone, replaced by sudden intensity. “They cut the transmission?”
His eyes had widened slightly, the rifle back up at Alex’s chest. “Yes, it was stopped automatically.”
Lyshen’s Solanet link hadn’t gone down, it had been shut off by Communications.
“Good. Could you put that fucking thing down? You’re about to get what you came here for, so chill.” He slipped his external translator off his shoulder and started picking at the latch on the back with his fingernails as he turned to Carbon. “Could you call Eleya? I don’t have her number.”
Carbon had Eleya dialed in less than a minute.
Alex plucked the battery out of the back of the translator and dumped all the parts onto Lyshen’s desk. The lights on the device going dark after a few seconds, his Amp complaining as it lost the connection. He took the phone from Carbon. Remarkably, it worked just like a Human phone did. You just press it to your head and talk.
When the Empress picked up she sounded pleasant again, familial warmth cranked all the way to eleven. “Hello, my dearest niece. I am-”
“Hey, it’s me.” Even with the soldier’s rifles lowered again, each second waiting for Eleya had been an eternity. His suspicion about the transmission was making every moment stretch out, even though it would likely take some time to find out one way or another. “You remember that time I almost got killed?”
“Yes.” The charm had gone away, though she remained civil.
“I know you had some research done while I was out.” He assumed as much. They had the opportunity, it stood to reason they would take it particularly after what they had found out yesterday. Was that bad? Maybe. Did he care? Not right now. ”Did you do anything with my Amp?”
There were a few heartbeats of silence on the call. “Are you in a secure location?”
“Yeah.” Alex looked from Carbon to the Sergeant and over to Lyshen. “Of course.”
“All of your on-board technology was studied.” Eleya was clearly reluctant to say even that.
“Super. I need someone who’s gotten familiar with it to take a look at mine. There may be something wrong with it. Security and privacy problems, for you and me respectively. Big ones.”
Another hesitation. “Come to aft research lab six. I will meet you there and we will discuss these problems further.”
“Aft research lab six. See you there.” Alex tapped the button to end the call, which he seemed to have gotten correct. He handed the communicator back to Carbon. “I’m going to need you to translate for a bit.”
“Of course.” It sounded more like a question, but she nodded in agreement as the black rectangle disappeared back into her jacket. “What is in the research lab?”
“Something related to my Amp.” He assumed, anyway.
“Ah. I see.” Carbon seemed to be putting things together with him.
“Alright, this is going to look weird so everybody just chill. Don’t. Fucking. Shoot. Me.” That last bit was aimed squarely at the Sergeant. Alex reached up and began tapping his face in a particular series of locations. Left temple, right temple, nose, left temple again, left cheek... He ran down this physical cheat code and ended it by tapping his chin three times. All his machine interfaces shut off. “Okay. Somebody say something.”
Carbon was first to react. “What was that?”
She said it in English.
“I meant in Tsla.” He paused, a stressed laugh escaping him. That had been a little funny. “Deep brain interfaces have hardcoded shutdown sequences that sit in the body interface layer - also hardcoded - so it can’t be intercepted, or otherwise bypassed. Y’know, in case of runaway processes, lock-in, spyware your government installed. That sorta stuff.”
She rattled off something in Tsla that sounded a wee bit accusatory. He caught a ‘you’ in there, but that was it.
“Ok, it appears to be off. All the electronics I received from the ONI are currently off.” Alex stated that loudly, this whole endeavor suddenly feeling much more martial. He shrugged off his jacket, piling the translator and its battery into it and then wrapping it up into a tight bundle, which he stuck under his arm. Good thing he opted for the plain t-shirt today. “Sergeant, per the instructions of the Empress, please escort me to aft research lab six.”
It was weird to walk in such a large group and not have anyone talking. Seven people there, following Carbon as she actually knew where the lab was without having to consult a map. Everyone just walking. The single-note step of Tsla’o footfalls was even more noticeable when that was the only sound, Alex’s heel-toe stride an outlier.
Ship security had their own maglev lines, running above the main line. There were multiple tracks, with smaller, windowless, cars. Everyone filed in, and they departed for the other end of the Sword of the Morning Light.
For the first time in quite a long while, he didn’t feel like chatting with Carbon about whatever was on his mind as soon as his butt was in a seat. Alex did reach over to her and pat her knee, smiling when she turned to look. She returned it, faintly, though the thin smile disappeared when the Sergeant looked over at them.
Since they were going to be looking at them, Alex turned his attention to their escort. Two gray, two red, one blue. Wearing the gray camo uniform that Amalu had worn, but none of them were wearing body armor, or even carrying much extra equipment aside from what fit on a belt.
The Sergeant had the most detailed rank marker, despite being ‘just’ a Sergeant, and was the only one carrying a rifle. The next down was a red-furred female that reminded him of Zenshen, but clearly wasn’t. Older, more muscular. About half as much detail on her rank, and sporting what looked like a snub-nosed SMG.
The remaining three were probably the Tsla’o equivalent of Privates. One of them had a single line carved in his plate, and looked almost as young as Haraya. All of them were packing some sort of sidearm, all stowed in holsters now. Alex did recognize the Tsla’o symbol for ‘electricty’ on the neon pink magazines on the belt of the closest soldier, clearly different from the plain black mags the two real guns had. Obvious visible differences for nonlethal weapons, if that convention held between their races. It was nice to see they hadn’t all come ready to kill. If the stun baton was anything to go by, those pistols would still hurt like hell.
The car dinged its arrival, the sound more business than the friendly notes that the regular maglev played, and they exited. Two stops from the furthest aft, and Carbon gestured for them to follow to the nearby lifts.
The ride had not done anything to ease the obvious anger that was simmering just below the surface. Alex assumed he was the only one picking that up because he’d come to know her well - her face was placid as they piled into the elevator, with the exception of a brow crease that he hadn’t seen since the early months of the Kshlav’o expedition.
They went all the way up to deck twenty.
While Alex was fully comfortable with Carbon’s navigation of the ship, the Sergeant and Not-Zenshen were discussing something quietly behind him, both of them looking at a map on his communicator when he stole a glance back. Neither of them sounded worried, but the Sergeant’s tones were much more relaxed as he traced a finger along the screen. Trust but verify, apparently.
There was a particular scent in the air as they approached a massive white blast door. Ozone, and a hint of something else hidden under it. Something bitter. Large block letters in Tsla marking the door as leading to... whatever was in there. Alex still couldn’t read enough of their language to decipher it, but he did recognize the symbol for ‘6’ at the end of one line.
Carbon leaned into the access panel and it scanned her - not the usual blip of a retinal scan, either. This took seconds, lasers sweeping across her face. Down and then back up, left to right, right to left. It beeped an affirmative and the heavy doors began to retract, the better part of a meter thick.
Beyond it was a large, brightly lit social area. Benches, plants, doorways and corridors running off to who knows where. There were even a few Tsla’o sitting at tables in the back trying to eat with the Empress standing right there.
Eleya had made good on her word. The Tsal’o Empress was waiting for them on the other side of the doors, arms crossed over her chest. Clearly annoyed, and flanked by the indistinct forms of her Guard. The most curious thing about her today was the shift in clothing. Her usual formal jacket replaced with a black version of the shirt the soldiers behind him were wearing, but buttoned to the top and bereft of any adornment. She wasn’t even wearing her piercings.
“Hey, my favorite aunt!” He lied, tossing his arms out and pulling her into a hug. Alex was careful about this, putting Eleya’s head between him and Carbon and lowering his voice to the faintest whisper. “She’s already mad. Best behavior.”
He released her before the guard did anything about that, which... Alex couldn’t tell if that was a training issue, or if he was on the OK to hug the Empress list. Perhaps the shakeup that Eleya had spoken about the night before was already underway.
Eleya said something to him, unaware he did not have his translator on. She didn’t spill the beans about what he’d said, as near as he could tell, a brief glance she shot him while smoothing her shirt out did make it clear she caught it. The Empress turned her attention to the Sergeant and rattled off something that sounded very official, ending her statement with a short bow.
The entire crew that had brought them there bowed back, deeply, and turned to leave. There was another Royal Guard on the door controls on this side, the blast doors sliding closed as soon as they had crossed back into the hallway.
Eleya turned back to Alex, and started talking.
He held up a hand. “Hang on. All my hardware is off.”
“He is not getting a translation right now.” Carbon added.
Eleya’s eyes widened at hearing a version of Carbon through her translator. They started conversing, going back and forth until Carbon looked over at him. “Explain what’s happening.”
“Short of it is that your Comms team caught something on my person attempting to send data using the public network. I left my Human-made phone in our cabin, and all of my wetware shouldn’t be able to access it anyway. My going theory is one of my implants was modified to secretly record and then send that data out, but only on public networks where something like that would go unnoticed, to maintain deniability. I'll bet you anything that the Human computer in Lyshen's office has a mesh node, and that's where it gained access.” All of that came spilling out a little faster than he liked, but it was good to get it out. The idea that the ONI would use him as a tool to spy on them, well, in retrospect it really did fit. The assertion he wouldn’t actually be spying. No tradecraft. So much easier to load him up with technology and let him bumble his way through whatever might happen, soaking up who knows what in the process. And when he inevitably came back to a Confed station, or went back to Earth, it would dump it right into their lap. “I’m really hoping you’ve started developing a way to drive a keyed PIN, because that’s the only way we’re going to be able to check it.”
Eleya spoke, gesturing up a flight of stairs.
“She says we will speak with the head researcher.” Carbon was still terse, but it wasn’t directed at Eleya for once. They both had their attention drawn to a problem that needed fixing.
“Alright.” Alex breathed in deep and heaved a heavy sigh. The bitter scent in the air was a little more clear now. Something he definitely recognized, a familiar taste on his tongue. “Ok, just a little aside here... Who's making coffee?”
 
First Prev
*****
This guy and his priorities, I swear.
Art pile: Carbon reference sheet. Art by Tyo_Dem

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When I was 8 years old my parents had just gotten a divorce, but just to add on to that my dog died a few days after. I was at my mom's house watching a horror movie with her and my sister, it was a week after my dog died, I told my mom I had to go to the bathroom and got up to leave. I got in the bathroom and washed my hands when I was done, I then walked out and started walking to my mom's room since that was where we were watching the movie. Her room was down a long-ish hallway, however the bathroom was even further down. When I was little I normally looked down when I walked, and that's what I was doing, since I knew the layout of the house, that was untill I heard an all to familer growl. With a little hope I looked up and saw my dog, Bobo, except he looked different. His full white fur had what looked like dried blood on it, one of his legs was twisted up, his eyes we're almost completly black and the parts that were supposed to be white were blood shot. I yelled in exitment as I started walking closer to him, he however started walking back but looked very uncomfortable. The area behind him was pitch black, I then looked up and saw a tall black figure withits arms out staring at me, it looked as if it had strings on it that were forcing my dog to move. In that moment my mom excited her room making me look back at her "mom look! Bobo is back!!" I yelled happily, but she just looked at me with worry, "Alex, honey.. Bobo is gone, I know yo miss him but you have to let him go..." she said as she picked me up. I just looked back to where I saw him but he was gone. We watched the rest of the movie and went to bed. The next night I saw him again, the exact same thing happened, but he looked worse. My mom came in and told me the exact same thing and he dissapeared. The next day I went to my dad's house and I didn't see him, but the second I was alone at my mom's house the same events went down. This continued for three years every time he looked worse and worse, but one day it just stopped, I had gotten used to him being there but it didn't bother me that he was gone. Fast forward a few years, we were at a family gathering an I brought it up to my mom in front of everyone "remember when I was eight and I was convinced I kept seeing him" I laughed but when I looked up she wasn't laughing "what?" I asked but she just shrugged it off. Around a month after that, I saw him again... We still live in the same house, I was at my mom's in my bedroom, alone.. I was on my phone before I heard a "growl" if you could even call it that, it was low and raspy, like it hadent done that in years. I looked up and saw him.. You could see every bone in his body, it was honestly scary. His eyes we're black but there was way more white then before but it wasn't white it was a really dark red. There were maggot holes everywhere on him. The same black figure was there, nothing had changed about him, I was gunna scream as it started moving closer to me but my mom walking in with food. It dissapeared and I ran to her, she told me to go eat but she had a worried look on her face like the first time I said I saw him. We all sat down me, my order sister, and my mom, she asked me what happened with a small shake in her voice "I saw Bobo again.." I said "but I didn't see him, I think I need to go see a doctor or something because I must be seeing things..." I finished as my mom looked at me muttering things under her breath before actually talking, my sister hoever was laughing a bit. "Alex, honey, you don't need to go to a doctor.. I've been seeing it to, I thought that if I said nothing was there you would cut it out or believe that it wasn't there for a while it worked but, I guess now it isn't.." my sister sat there with a puzzled look "what I'm saying is we will figure something out" my sister looked even more confused but went to her room, the rest of dinner was silent the last time we talked was that night for her to say she loved me. But that now brings us to now, while I am writing this I have been seeing him non stop and he won't leave, or even move. I think my sister has started seeing him to because she has been acting very weird lately, I still have a couple more days at my mom's house before I go back to my dad's, and I don't know what to do. He is genuinely scaring me, what should I do?

I started my journey with Origin last December, after growing frustrated with the amount of time I was wasting trying to customize Monarch Money, Simpifi and other fintech apps to fit my needs. The simplicity approach Origin takes just works and makes me feel less stressed and more confident about my finances than before. Below, I tried to squeeze in everything I could think of for now. They added the credit card bill tracking quickly, so that's one off the list!
Top things Origin does phenomenally:

1. Present the information in a clear, consistent layout. The cards are well thought out (e.g. Recurring transactions, Credit Card bills, For you info). It's honestly kind of a calming experience compared to some competitors because it's not bloated with too much information.
2. Account connections (From Robinhood, to my 10 bank accounts, Schwab HSA, retirement account (with 401k AND Pension) they have some of the best connectivity. While the TSP connection isn't quite fully working just yet, their customer support has been stellar at keeping me updated. Shoutout to Alex, Robin for their help!
3. Making sense of it. 2 things of note here....
   1. On the home screen, there is a card that shows you the next day you will be paid. THIS IS AWESOME! Just right there, without having to check the last time I was paid and then calc 2 weeks.
   2. The way you go about adding your vehicle as an asset (although depreciating), BUT also adding a Loan during the process to keep your assets/liabilities straight is something many competitors fail to realize is essential for keeping your net-worth accurate.
4. Fully featured: Centralized view of cash accounts, investments, spending, budgeting, credit card bills and more. It sounds like it shouldn't be hard, but the layout, functionality, and consistency just work. I haven't re-entered my credentials for accounts in a long time, they sync daily, and I've yet to notice any bugs in the mobile app or web-app.

High Priority:

1. Goal Tracking: Integrate goal tracking or "goal investment accounts" similar to WithPlenty
2. Sankey report: Look to Monarch money for inspiration.
   • A Sankey view of your cash-flow (in the web-app) would be amazing. This truly is the best visual representation as to where your cash is going from income downstream.
     • If we can visualize our spending towards necessities, wants, and investments (maybe with tags?) this would be huge.
3. Credit Card bill tracking

Medium Priority:

1. Spending Transaction Customization
   • Edit transaction names (e.g., rename "Apple" subscriptions)
   • Ability to mark transactions as recurring in the recurring transactions list
     • While the algorithm or ML currently being used is quite good, it'd be nice to be able to go through your own list of all your recurring bills and align them. I seem to have a few such as some Apple subscriptions, and once-a-year charges that aren't marked currently.
2. UI/UX:
   • Consider offering emoji support for spending categories.
     • For example, there is no drink icon. So if I make a separate category for drinks (e.g. coffee specifically or alcohol, I'm probably going to use the food icon. This could be better differentiated with built-in emoji support.
   • Explore additional color options for budget categories.
     • Most users are probably adding at least a few additional custom categories, and with the limited amount of colors available, the Breakdown looses some of the clarity.
3. Security: Consider offering passkey, token-based MFA, and a "remember this device" option.
4. Notifications:
   • Having the ability to setup SOME useful notifications (we all are already inundated with notifications) may be beneficial.
     • For example, for purchases above $500, or for a specific account with a balance lower than X.

Low Priority:

1. Origin Invest account asset allocation: no percentages show at a top-level on the 'Asset allocation' card when you go into your Origin Invest account details. Not sure if this is a bug or not, but it'd make sense to just show a top-level percent between US Stocks, Intl Stocks, etc.
2. Dark Mode: Implement a dark mode option. Check Chime bank's dark mode or Dark Reader extension for inspiration.
3. Tax Filing Enhancements: Improve the user experience with Column Tax
   1. Allow users to reset their progress in the tax functionality with Column Tax.
      • Context: I didn't complete my taxes with Column tax this year, because I had free filing through TurboTax since I'm currently deployed in the army. I wanted to check out the functionality though, and then had 'resume taxes' show up in the app.
   2. Use OCR to import documents and pre-fill forms like TurboTax
      • Would be a huge time-saver throughout the process. That said, the fact that it's included with Origin is a huge PLUS in the first place.

Areas of improvement for clarity:

1. Setting up Origin investments:
   • When I first setup my Origin investment account my first deposit failed. I didn't know why it failed, couldn't see any additional info, and couldn't change the bank info. The next deposit was successful, but it gave me a slight pause using Origin investing considering I had no insight.
2. Excess cash on hand:
   1. I love this metric. My only issue with it was until I had excess cash on hand, I had no idea how it was defined. Once you have excess cash on hand, you can select 'adjust investing strategy,' which then shows you an option of 'How do we calculate?.' Once I found this, I had a better understanding.
      • One improvement to this would be tying this into Goal tracking as stated in the feedback above... e.g. I have some goals that are near-term (e.g. 0-6 mo vs some that are greater than 5 years).

TLDR: For $13/mo or ~$156/year, Origin provides account tracking, spending and budgeting, Net-worth tracking, Investing without AUMs, and a few other niceties such as Tax prep and Estate planning. They do a stellar job with the layout of their app using cards. Information is clear, nothing is missing, and it is concise. New features are being added quickly, and customer support has been solid. Above I've made a few recommendations for improvements, some of which they've already executed on!

His "shocked and appalled" church lady performative outrage at the Ashley Madison extramarital affair site was a bit much. Like Peedur, I hate to break this to you but no one is buying how you choose to portray your relationship online. We know what a loving, committed, and monogamous relationship looks like and your marriage to Alex is not exactly giving that look. Or should I say, we think it's 50% monogamous, monogamous for you.
And like...we know about the Tumblr. I highly doubt the only nuts on your browser history are squirrel related. You're a grown man, no one expects you (or wants you) to be the gay Phyllis Schlafly of YouTube. Give it a rest.

Chapter 26 - The Infinite Beckons
Previous Chapter
“Okay, this part’s a little tricky.” Ma’et gestured out the shuttle’s cockpit. “You got lined up easy enough, and our velocity’s at a relative zero to the ship. The bay door’s open. Now you engage the lateral thrusters while monitoring the distance from the shuttle to the bay’s interior wall. Come in too fast and you’ll damage them both..”
Trix looked over at the controls, and the neatly gummed labels that the humans had placed over the English text with her own language. She gingerly pressed the ‘Lateral Thruster’ button, then as the control knob next to it lit up, she twisted it slowly.
An earlier misadventure when lining up the ship and the shuttle where she’d twisted the control knob much more rapidly made her much more cautious about giving it too much power too quickly, yet the shuttle slowly drifted - away from the ship. “Other thruster, feathers.”
Chagrined, she dialed the thruster back to zero, then rotated it the other direction. The ship immediately stopped moving away, and instead drifted into the hangar bay. Trix watched as it drifted past the door, staring at the distance readout until it dropped into the yellow and immediately swung the knob the other way. It took a couple of tries to get the velocity back to zero, but she managed it.
“Beautiful. Now we engage the grav plating which lets the ship’s internal grav pull us down as it ramps up, and close the external door via the console over there.” Ma’et gestured to the remote console, and Trix scanned it, punching the buttons as she found them.
“Nicely done. Go ahead and hit the engine shutdown. In the old days there’d be like, thirty steps to it but nearly all of it is automated. But lucky you, you get to read all about the manual sequence since taking over in the event of computer failure is one of a pilot’s duties.” Ma’et chuckled and squeezed Trix’s shoulder. “For now, that’s good enough. Go ahead and open both the lateral boarding door, and the rear loading door. Also extend the rear loading ramp.”
Trix did, then glanced over at Ma’et. “Anything more?”
“Nope. First day on the job, and you’ve done the first job successfully. Not perfectly, but pretty damn good for your first time piloting off planet. Go ahead and head back to talk with the Captain, and I’ll handle the rest.”
Trix unbuckled the acceleration harness (Though, she felt zero acceleration during the entire trip so she couldn’t fathom just WHY Ma’et had insisted on her buckling in) and moved past the much smaller woman as she left the cockpit.
In the back, Josh was already outside the ship, grabbing a handtruck. She watched as he pushed it up the loading ramp to the stack of boxes that contained the food and equipment she’d need for the next few weeks of existence here in space. “Why aren’t you using one of the gravity belts?” She gestured over to the wall where the belts were hanging.
“Eh, this stuff’s fairly light and those have a limited lifespan. I don’t want to burn out the Keplite cores on stuff we can just move by hand. They’re expensive.”
“Oh. What’s Keplite, anyway? Ji and Min have mentioned it a few times.” Trix glanced over at the large belts with their big circular pads in the middle.
Before Josh could answer, Alex walked in between them. “Ji, Min! We’re going to be converting the room across from yours back into crew quarters for Trix. Gonna need you two to move the Spider. Is there room here in the hangar for it?”
“It’ll fit better if we assemble it and use packing mode.” Ji countered, as he hopped out of the shuttle. “It’ll take a day or so. We’ve got it spread all out in there.”
Alex turned over to Trix and beckoned. “Follow me. Gonna give you the full tour while they’re unloading." He took a few steps back, then lifted his arms wide to gesture to their surroundings. "This is obviously the hangar bay. Shuttle's the big thing you were just flying. Below us is a small cargo hold, empty right now. Not gonna show you unless you happen to like large empty boring-ass boxes.” He raised an eyebrow, and Trix quickly shook her head. "Alright. Most of the shit in here is just maintenance tools and loading gear. Nothing exciting. Ramp to main transit corridor here."
They walked out into the hallway. “Okay, well through that door’s opposite the hangar is the fabber bay. The fabber is a huge machine that manufactures stuff for us, like a 3D printer. Do you guys have anything like that?” Trix shrugged, and Alex continued. “Well either way, it can make virtually anything from a bed to a bomb to a computer. The more complex and difficult items take a hell of a lot longer to make. It’s also a major power hog since the manufacturing process uses extremely powerful fields, both magnetic and force. In other words, if you need something and we didn’t bring it with you we can make it here.”
He walked down the hall a bit, and gestured to the doors on either side. “Launcher bays, 1 and 2. Normally we use ‘em to launch beacons, buoys, sensors, things like that into space. If someone tries to start shit with us we CAN use them to launch missiles but we have very few of those available. We’re not out here to get in fights, but if we have to defend ourselves we pack a big punch.” He opened one of the doors and walked inside. “The big hatch over there is the manual tube loader. The ship can auto-load various things but if we need to put something into space that isn’t already in storage, that’s where we do it. If Ji tells you to climb in yourself, he’s joking and you should hit him because it only exists to launch shit into space.”
Trix laughed at that, but she had learned enough of Ji’s sense of humor while working on the car to understand the sentiment. “Will I even be in here at all though?”
“Maybe. If something needs to be manually loaded, we use these. Back when we were at the derelict ship I had to send a battery over to help out while we planned our rescue. You might be asked to do the same.” Alex shrugged and lead her out into the hall. “Last thing here is the ship’s primary armament.” He reached over to the side of the hallway and pressed a hatch release. The compartment it lead to was incredibly small and tightly cramped.
“We don’t use it much outside of scaring off pirates or relieving stress, but this is our primary weapon out in space. Eight-chamber five meter long rotary railgun. Fires one round every 1.2 seconds that travel roughly a million kilometers per hour when fired stationary, or closer to 280 kilometers per second. It fires either solid armor-piercing unguided slugs or flak munitions that are used to produce clouds of metallic debris. The former will shred a ship’s armor and pulverize anything inside. The latter can overwhelm particle shields and damage exterior components without nearly as much penetration. The reason I’m saying all this to you,” He tapped the top of the cannon where it joined to the ship. “This thing’s got a super limited firing arc. Meaning that we can only shoot what we’re pointed at. If, by some miracle, we get into a fight out there then our ability to shoot back is gonna depend on your ability to fly the ship while facing the enemy.”
Trix swallowed heavily as she tried to imagine just how powerful this massive cannon was. She glanced over at the side of it, to the twin belts that fed in ammo. Each round it would fire was longer than her forearm and thicker than her waist.
“That’s the worst case scenario though. In reality, if we get into any shit out there, fighting is the LAST thing we want to do. Negotiation to avoid hostility first, escape second, fight last.” Alex shooed her out of the compartment. “That said if we encounter any low-yield junk out there then we’ll get some target practice in. If you’re game then we can let you try targeting for a bit and unload some kinetic mayhem while things are dull.” He grinned wickedly, as he manually pulled the hatch back into place, sliding two large locking levers into place.
“Okay, that’s it for this deck. There’s stairs on the far side leading up to the tech deck but the ladder here’s quicker.”
They climbed up the ladder, with Alex leading and Trix following. Her wings banged against the ceiling as she climbed, and it took her a few moments to get them tucked in tight enough to get through the hatch but with Alex’s help they got up there.
“Tech deck. Mostly. In the front of the ship here right under Bridge access is the exception, the pool room.” He opened the door and they walked in together. “Mainly used for observation but the pool there is great for relaxation. You can adjust the temperature with the controls on the wall there, goes from chilly to full on hot tub. Adjustable depth from 3 to 10 feet, and the pool walls are display panels. If you use a breather it’s fun to turn the display to external then go down underwater and relax while staring at the stars. Do you swim much?”
Trix nodded. “Sure, there’s a river a… couple kilometers? I think? I’m not good with converting distances yet. Anyway, it’s near the hab and we’d go there when I was younger and didn’t have as much to do in the fields.”
“Cool. Well, feel free to use it but just a word of warning you might want to check if anyone’s in first. Swimwear is optional and since the crew is a pretty tight family we don’t usually get embarrassed if we’re seen swimming in the buff.” Alex waved over at the control console. “If you’re not sure the big green button on the outside is the comm button, just ask if anyone’s using it.”
“Ji brought me in here when we came up to do the medical scans. He showed me Kiveyt from orbit for the first time. Do all human ships have a room like this?” Trix reached over to dip her hand into the water. It was quite warm to the touch.
“Nah. This ship wasn’t originally designed as a scout ship or survey ship. It was originally a yacht. Big luxury vehicle for rich people to fly around in space and have fun in. Throw parties. Most of the ridiculous amenities it has I got rid of ages ago, but that left a huge amount of space we filled up with all the launchers and sensors and whatnot. I kept the pool though because I love soaking after a long day.” He pressed the door control and they left the pool room.
“Just past the pool room on either side of the ship we have collection dishes for D-space particles. Those are EVA only, so you won’t be dealing with those. They let us collect extremely powerful particles which lead back here.” Alex spoke as he walked, and turned the corner into a much, much larger room.
“This is the ship’s main power supply. Charged particles enter the torus reactor and discharge energy which is converted into electrical power and routed through the ship. Those bottles over there…” He gestured to four massive grey metal canisters on the wall. “Contain the actual particles. They’re made of the strongest materials we have because if one ruptured, the ship would instantly explode from the inside out. Don’t worry,” Alex quickly raised his hands. “The chances of that happening are virtually impossible. This is the single most well-protected location on the ship.”
He gestured to the other side of the large room. “Over there’s the terminals that Min is usually at. She and Ji are in charge of all engineering. That means power, propulsion, all computer systems, and the like. Well, the physical parts of them that is. Ma’et is our computer geek when it comes to integration, programming, and all the fun software shit.”
Alex left the room, and gestured to the other side. “I’m sure you’re familiar with medical over there. Let’s do us both a favor and not have to go there much. Otherwise I’m pretty sure Kyshe will gut me.” He didn’t stop to show her inside, and they reached the main staircase. “The back half of the ship on this deck is all propulsion access and maintenance. I’m more or less our damage control guy, along with Ji and Min. For them it’s because they’re smart as shit and for me it’s because I had to learn how to maintain my own ship. Most common damage out here is stray micro meteors or debris while we’re parked and the particle shields are down. Sometimes worn out components inside. Again, no EVA for you so the only thing you’ll need to worry about for DC is being an assistant to one of us while we fix shit.”
They went up the stairwell to the uppermost of the three floors. “There used to be an observation bubble above us, but I had it removed because it was useless. Even if I covered it with ablative plating it was a massive wart on top of the ship that served zero practical purpose. Anyway, the top floor here is where you’ll spend 90% of your time on the ship. Back here…” Alex started walking to the rear of the ship, and walked through a large open doorway. “Mess hall. We generally have two kinds of meals here - when we’re on long deployment, the food extruder over there can produce rations. They’re not amazing but they’re quick both to make and eat. It’ll also make reasonable meat and dairy substitutes. If you want a real meal though we usually keep the good stuff in deep freeze so it takes a fair amount of time to be ready. Other than that the bev dispenser is over there. Water and various juices on tap all the time, alcohol is restricted only to meals only. We all get together for breakfast and dinner though, since it’s just a good way to socialize. Tonight expect a big meal in celebration.”
He walked out of the mess, and opened a door to a large open area. “Rec room. Not used a whole lot because most of us use haptic suits for exercise and recreation but we don’t have a suit that’ll fit you or your wings, so I want you to be in here twice a week at least. Ma’et is a great partner for any exercise that doesn’t involve fighting, unless you like bruises in which case she’ll happily go a few rounds with gloves on. Pilots don’t get the level of exercise you’re used to on the planet working fields so exercise up here will be pretty damn vital.”
She looked around the room, then hurried to catch up to the captain as he walked out. “On the other side of the hall from the Mess is general storage. Cleaning supplies, a small laundry unit if the one in your room quits working, random odds and ends. Also a few extra bunks just in case we need them. Unfortunately I am going to have to have you spend one night in here while we get your room cleaned up and ready for you.” He walked in, and over to one of the walls. “Bunk folds down from here. Looks, uh…” He glanced at the fold-down bed and back at Trix. “Looks tight. Do me a favor and see if you’re gonna be OK there?”
It was very close, but Trix laid down on the sleeping pad and adjusted until she found a good comfortable spot. “For just one night, this will do…”
“Alright, no worries then. We’ll have your room ready quick as we can.” She got off the pad and Alex gestured for her to follow. “Quarters themselves are here, 4 on either side of the main hallway. Myself, Josh, Ma’et, and Amanda on the right in that order. Ji, Min, Your quarters, and the last was converted into a mechanical room for Par. Speaking of…”
He walked into the last room and knocked on a large hatch. “Par, would it be alright if I introduced our newest shipmate?”
“Of course, Captain.” The hatch slid silently open revealing a large, intricate array. Circuit boards were laid out in rows and wires ran between them in perfectly neat, ordered channels. In the center of it all was a large oblong egg-looking object. “Trix, may I present to you Parathanelias Sigma-822.”
Several rows of lights lit up along the side of the egg, and the pleasant musical voice she’d heard so often came from a small speaker alongside it. “It is a pleasure to meet you in person, Trksehnoarala.”
Trix stared at the open hatch then gestured behind her. “I thought you were in those floating metal balls…?”
“The spheres you mention are my remotes. None of them are large enough to house my primary systems. In a way, they are my eyes, ears, and limbs. My true nature is integration here within the ship itself, and I make up for my limited mobility in person by having the greatest mobility of any other member of the crew.”
“He also has an avatar in VR of an organic human, but most of the time he uses the floating spheres to interact with us and the rest of the world. His core,” Alex gestured to the egg-like central object, “houses his base personality and his most important memories. The rest of this is extra storage for less critical information. I’m a bit jealous because his most important memories will always be preserved forever in perfect clarity. The rest of us get to have our memories fade with time, but his will be eternal.”
Alex stood there mutely for a moment then shook his head. “Anyway. Back to the tour. Thanks Par!”
“My pleasure.” The hatch slid silently shut and Alex and Trix left the room. “This room has been empty for long enough I pretty much gave it over to Ji and Min for a long while.” Alex walked into the room next to Par’s. “It’s kind of a mess but we’re going to get it cleaned up then it’ll be yours.”
There was no bed in the room, and the tables against the walls were covered with electronics and quickboards. In the center of the room, a huge metal contraption was spread out. Eight large jointed legs were wired in to a big central circular turret. Above that, a multitude of ‘limbs’ extended out - one a large grasper with clawed metal fingers, another ending with an odd cone-shaped implement with a blackened tip. A third was a huge metal pipe jutting out, and a fourth looked to be a number of small openings to place something into.
Trix gestured to it, “What is THAT thing?”
“That’s the Spider. It’s a long-time project the Twins have been working on. Pretty much since they joined the crew, really. It was meant to be a mechanical walker for the military but… well, that’s their story to tell.” Alex snorted. “There’s going to be enough time to go into the details later. Point is, before we even start leaving the system we’re gonna move this out, get a full king sized bed in here for you, some more storage, and so on. That door,” He gestured to a door on the other side of the room, “Leads to a hygiene unit. Full on shower, no bath but if you want to soak the Pool’s down a floor. Aside from no tub it has a deluxe toilet, sink, and a small cleaning unit for clothes.”
Trix cautiously stepped around the large disassembled robot, and opened the door to peer inside. The hygiene unit was much larger than she’d expected, and she was grateful to see that most of the facilities was familiar to her.
“Okay, one last stop and it’s the most important.” Alex walked out into the hallway and Trix rushed to catch up, almost tripping as she hopped over a piece of scrap cable along the floor. “I’m sure this will become your second home on the ship real fast. The bridge.”
They walked down the hall through a small access corridor into a large, wide open space. A large chair sat in the center with a number of controls and articulating arms present on the back. In front of it, a number of control panels were arranged in rows. The front of the bridge and both sides were dominated by massive window screens that showed the area the ship was currently facing. She could see one screen to the side with a display showing Kiveyt, first as a small dot with a zoomed-in and blown up image next to it.
“The door back there in the corner leads to a briefing room, nothing special there but a table and chairs. The big chair in the middle is mine, but if you ask super nicely I’ll let you sit in it.” Alex grinned, and pointed at the console in the very center of the bridge, in front of the Captain’s chair. “But that station over there is primary navigation. Josh is there quite a lot of the time, though just as often I navigate from the Captain’s Chair or Ma’et controls the ship from her neural interface. As of now, though, I bequeath ownership of it unto you - for the next few weeks, at least.”
Trix walked around the bridge staring at everything. The control consoles were smooth, rounded and sleek in their presentation. Each one had a large keyboard in front covered with the strange runes of the Humans’ language. Various other instruments and implements were present at each station, but at hers she smiled gratefully to see that the keys had already changed and had more familiar and recognizable letters in place of the Humans odd script. The layout was definitely weird, and she knew it was going to take time and effort to grow accustomed but at the very least she would be able to understand what she was doing as she learned. Even better, the seat lacked the same high back that the other seats had, which would have been pressed tightly and uncomfortably against her wings.
She glanced back at Alex, who just nodded at her. Encouraged, she took a seat and glanced around. “This is mine.” She whispered it and then let her wings spread out with pleasure as she realized that from here, from this station, she would be the one personally controlling the entire massive vehicle behind her. It lacked the flight stick of the shuttle or the handle controls of her aircar, and in a way she felt disappointed she wouldn’t be able to manually control the ship the same way she could the smaller vehicles. But as she looked around her and rested her hands on the cool surface of the console, she felt something else. A thrill of anticipation at the thought of being the one in control of this massive ship and everyone inside of it.
Alex climbed several steps up to the captain’s chair on its elevated dais, and took a seat directly behind her. The sight of a winged alien in front of him at the nav console with the stars stretching out above and beyond her was a strange one, but a pleasant one. He tried to think of a witty quip to finish the tour with, but failing that he settled for a much simpler one instead.
“Welcome aboard, Pilot.”
—--
“Okay, before we get started, I believe that this is a special occasion warranting a toast.” Alex sat at the head of the large table at the mess, with the other six organic members of the crew assembled further down. “To our new pilot trainee!”
“Here Here!” “To Trix!” “To our Trainee!”
Alex took a sip of his whisky, and sighed in pleasure. “God that hits the spot. Okay everyone, dig in.”
The dinner was an odd affair, mostly because every single member was wearing their visor. Trix could not speak English, and the crew couldn’t speak her native tongue. Masks which would automatically translate couldn’t be worn during a meal so the solution was to have real-time speech to text appearing on everyone’s visor. Trix, who never had worn a visor before, had a difficult time getting the display to appear just right in front of her eyes but she and Par had gotten it dialed in.
Trix glanced at the array of food in front of her. Some items looked familiar, others completely foreign, and none of it smelled quite right. She gestured to the food. “None of this is from Kiveyt. Is it safe for me to eat it?”
“I went through our entire comestible database while we were on the planet. Surprisingly there’s almost no Terran food you can’t eat.” Josh had a massive burrito nearly as long as Ma’et’s arm on the plate in front of him, and he spoke while dabbing hot sauce over it. “All of our Macronutrients are completely interchangeable. Most Micronutrients are as well. There’s a few exotic vitamins and amino acids that you need that we can’t provide, but we have supplements from the planet that’ll handle those.”
“Oh.” Trix glanced around at the table, trying to decide what to eat. The spread was, per Alex’s suggestion, extremely large and quite diverse. “I’m not sure where to start then.”
Min picked up a large platter with a circular dish on it. “Far as I’m concerned the best place to start is with Pizza. It’s one of the most widely loved foods throughout Terran space.” She dumped a slice onto the plate in front of Trix, while Ji slid a very tall glass of water over to her, alongside an odd reddish looking beverage.
“Give the fruit punch a try too. It’s much more sweet than the juice you were serving down on the planet. A lot more mild too.” He suggested, and gestured to another plate. “Also? Tacos are never a bad choice.”
Trix reached out and picked up one of the odd, semi-circular items. Ji grabbed one as well, and bit into it with gusto. Trix mimicked the motion, crunching into the hard shell. It was quite interesting, tasteless at first as she bit into the shell and the lettuce, but then the spiced meat hit her tongue. It was quite mild but not unpleasant. She chewed on it and gulped down a mouthful. “Not bad.” She took another bite.
The taco vanished quickly, and she glanced down at the slice of Pizza next. “Like this, Trix.” Min gestured to pick it up by the crust, putting her fingers in front of it to prevent it from flopping down. Trix followed Min’s example, and took a huge bite. This one was even milder, almost disappointingly so. “Not much flavor to this one. Is all your food really light like this?”
The humans glanced around at that. “Y’know, Sophie mentioned our rations were tasteless. They have a pretty strong cinnamon taste to ‘em.” Alex sat back thoughtfully as he nursed the glass of whisky in his hand. “The food we had down on the planet was all pretty strong flavors…”
Josh handed the bottle of hot sauce in his hand over to Trix. “Try a dab of this. It adds a kick to some foods.”
Trix took the bottle, and put a few drops of it on the slice of pizza in front of her. She took another bite, and her eyes lit up. The next few bites all had more hot sauce each, and the crust itself ended up practically drenched in it. “Thanks, Josh. That was delicious.”
The rest of the crew was staring at her and she shrunk back slightly at their intense scrutiny. Had she done something wrong? She hadn’t ever offended them during any meals back on the planet, so the sudden shift in attention was jarring and quite uncomfortable.
Ji whistled at the sight of the alien hungrily wofling down the slice of pizza covered in bright spicy sauce. “Here, try some of that on a taco next!” He picked up another shell and offered it to her.
Trix reached out and took the taco, this time pouring a hefty amount of sauce on it. Eating this one was much messier, and she could feel the hot sauce dribbling down the side of her mouth as she took a huge bite. Min handed her a paper towel, and she embarrassedly wiped away the errant food. “Thanks, Min. That was great too, Ji.”
“Hold up.” Alex stood up and walked over to one of the cupboards, pulling out another bottle of sauce. “I’m curious now. This is a lot hotter than the sauce you’ve been trying thus far. See if it’s to your liking. Just, start with a very small amount. A little goes a LONG way.” He walked back to the table, placing the bottle next to Trix. She studied it briefly, mostly the logo - a caricature of a human whose head appeared to be on fire.
“Um, Okay. Should I try it with the Pizza or the Taco?” She glanced between the two dishes she’d already tried. “Either one. Whichever you prefer.” was Alex’s reply.
Trix reached out and grabbed a third Taco, opening up the bottle. Immediately she could smell the fragrant sauce within, and she carefully poured a small amount into the shell. She cautiously took a bite and chewed thoughtfully.
“Too hot?” Alex suggested, but she shook her head. “No. Just…” She poured more sauce on the taco, and ate the rest in only a few bites. “Whew. Sorry, Captain Alexander. That was incredible! I’ve never tasted anything like it before.”
“Captain Alexander just sounds weird. Call me Alex or Al. Or ‘Captain’ if you really, really need to use my rank for whatever reason.” Alex sat down, and chuckled. “But that’s interesting. Very, very interesting. That sauce there?” He gestured towards the bottle. “It’s made with a chemical called ‘Capsaicin’. To humans it’s a powerful spice. Too much of it causes a painful burning sensation that lingers. We normally dilute it to make it more palatable and less painful.”
Trix glanced at the bottle. “I guess that explains the fire on the little picture here.” She grabbed another slice of the pizza, and drizzled the sauce on top.
“Three tacos and two slices of pizza?” Ma’et was impressed as she saw how much food the Avian was packing away.
“The disadvantage of those muscular bodies.” Josh waved his hand towards Trix. “They require all the calories that a Human does and more. Back on the planet I learned their species used to be a lot smaller, but after developing animal husbandry and reliable sources of higher calorie foods they bulked up pretty quick.”
Trix, for her part, slicked off the second slice of pizza with gusto. She grabbed a fourth taco, and liberally poured the spicy sauce all over, before wolfing that down as well. She grabbed the fruit juice that Ji had offered her… the ‘punch’? And downed it almost as quickly.
“I hope after all this is over, we can buy some more of that sauce. I definitely want the others back at home to try it.” She licked her lips, and sighed with contentment. “This juice too. I like how sweet it is.”
“Birds are immune to Capsaicin.” Josh murmured softly, but it was picked up by the visor and translated perfectly. “I wonder what the chances are that space-birds would be too?”
—--
“Slide the jack under that joint there.” Trix did as instructed, wheeling the small hydraulic device under the ‘spider’s’ massive leg. “Great. Just gotta line up the leg with where the servos join in…” Ji and Min lifted the leg and immediately began connecting up cables and lines. After all the connections were made, Ji braced himself against the wall and shoved - hard - against the leg, firmly connecting the mechanical rotary joint into place.
“Okay, testing.” Min walked over to the console and began punching in codes. Like the other six limbs before it, this one shook slightly then began to flex, twist, and move around. “Range of motion is nominal. Motors are all showing peak. Locking joints and anchor bolt systems are green.”
Ji wiped off some sweat from his forehead, and leaned back against the wall. “I knew it was a mistake to work on it up here. At least if we put it in the hangar we could have lowered the gravity.”
“It would have been in the way during the rescue op, and we had enough shit going on then we didn’t need to add ‘reassemble a multi-ton walking modular platform’ to the list.” Min gestured with her head, not even glancing over at her brother. “Man up. Trix hasn’t even broken a sweat.”
“I don’t sweat.” Trix mumbled, as she stared at the massive machine. “This thing is crazy. Puts my car to shame.”
“Yeah, our pride and joy. Together we’ve spent decades refining it.” Min glanced over at Trix with a broad smile. “The modular bay on top has been my focus, while Ji’s been adjusting and perfecting the leg and motion systems.”
“What’s it for?”
“Well, right now it’s kind of in between intended uses.” Ji walked over to a large shelf and gestured to the assorted objects there. “With our original plans it was going to have a bunch of swappable options. Right now, it has short and long range assault armaments and a plasma cutter for breaching sealed doors. A basic military drone capable of adapting to all kinds of situations.”
Trix stared at the array of weapons in front of her. “So this is what the human military uses to fight with?”
“Nah.” Min set down the quickboard and walked over to the huge machine. “We envisioned it as a multi-purpose response unit. Capable of dropping in from outside the atmosphere an landing anywhere, going anywhere. Dealing with any situation that could possibly arise. It’s an all-terrain support mech and its modular nature would have made it able to respond to nearly any situation. And it was rejected by the military.”
“What? Why?”
Ji held up a hand and ticked off his fingers. “One, it’s more expensive to drop one of these than a squad of soldiers. Nevermind the fact that it can do 10 people’s worth of work without putting even a single person in danger. Two, it’s too big to be fired out of normal launchers. Adding new launchers to ships would have been a significant amount of work and cost that the navy wasn’t willing to foot the bill. Three, we didn’t have any money after developing it. Meaning we couldn’t bribe anyone in the government into pressuring the military to work with us.”
“Four, they already have hover tanks and artillery and we couldn’t convince them that our system was superior to those.” Min sighed, and threw herself into a chair.
“Hovering is cheating though.” Ji glared at his sister.
“Cheating? What?” Trix just looked bewildered at this.
“Hovering isn’t all-terrain. Hovering is NO terrain.”
“Oh.” Trix took a seat in a nearby chair herself. “So did the captain buy this then?”
“Nope. See, we were finishing up Uni and started developing the Spider, but we didn’t really have the money to actually MAKE one. We had all the plans and all the research on our side but not the raw materials or the money to get those raw materials.” Ji pulled out a stick of gum and popped it in his mouth. “At first we tried going straight to the military which was a huge mistake, they just made a million excuses and told us to get lost. Then we tried approaching some weapon dev companies for funding. They basically told us they’d fund it in exchange for all the rights to production and we’d get whatever they felt was fair. Which when we pressed on a figure, wasn’t much.”
Trix glanced over at the massive mech. “But it got made, obviously.”
“Yup. When we weren’t sure what to do, a buddy of ours mentioned that Al was looking for an engineering team. We can do starship engineering.” Min grabbed the quickboard and extended one of the spider’s legs towards her, so she could kick her feet up on it. “Matter of fact, this ship’s a thing of beauty. Al is a complete doofus but he takes fantastic care of the ship. When we came on we gave him a list of everything that should change. He sat down with us, went over it point by point, and even though it ended up costing over half a million credits he gave us full authorization to make every single change we suggested.”
“So after we did a stint working as engineers we joined up as crew.” Ji had an odd smile on his face. “Since then, we’ve put the money we made from working here towards building this thing. We actually had it completed but then I had this idea of using an array of microservo actuators instead of a larger servo to give us a lot more fine control over the joints. That didn’t work, like, at all but when we used a combination of them we managed to find just the right ratio that gives us twice the amount of precision in each joint, which lets us use the-”
“ANYWAY.” Min interrupted her Brother before he could get too deep into the weeds. “We had it built, with the original armaments we envisioned, but Al suggested making a module for mining and sampling. We brought it in here in order to disassemble it to make the servo adjustments and while we were at it we were going to be replacing the actual weapons with a mining beam, core sample collector, and an array of sensors. Now though we’re going to put it in storage for a while. We got much more important things to take care of now.”
“Oh.” Trix had begun to tune Ji out when he launched into his diatribe. “But what do you mean joined up as crew? You were already crew, weren’t you?”
Min swung her foot down, and gestured to the ship. “It’s different. There’s employees… and then there’s crew. Right now you’re an employee. You’re working with us, you’re out here, but your home’s back with your Teff. Right?”
Trix nodded.
“Well, when you’re crew… this is your home. We’re all family out here. I don’t know as much about the whole Teff thing but I think it’s sort of similar. This ship’s our home, the crew is our family. Alex may be a childish idiot but he’s loyal to his crew like nothing else.” Min stood up and walked over to put her hand on her brother’s shoulder. “When we worked here and started to see how well he treats his people, we felt like we could really belong here. He asked if we’d like to join up, so we did. Best decision we ever made.”
“Yup. He treats the crew as well as he treats the ship.” Ji gestured around him. “Working for him paid well. Working as crew, we don’t get paid regularly but we get a cut out of every mission and that cut is HUGE. That’s how we could afford to actually build the spider in the first place.”
“Ah. So if he invited me along, does that mean he wants me to join the crew too?” Trix wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Joining another family was commonplace for males who left their Teff to join others, but incredibly rare for females.
“Dunno. He’s hired on specialists in the past who’ve come and gone. And he’s invited people to join up who said no and that was that.” Ji shrugged and pressed the release on the hydraulic press, letting it collapse down. “C’mon, we should get the last leg attached. Then we can pack it up and use a grav collar to move it down to the hangar. Don’t want to make you stay in that cramped storage room again tonight.”
“Yeah, I tried to stretch my wings in the morning and I banged up against one of the shelves. Really not looking forward to that again.” Trix grumbled at the memory, and stood up. “Okay, what more do we need done to get this over with?”
—--

i write exclusively on tumblr for one reason: the formatting and my mutuals.
i don’t like the ao3 layout at ALL. i can’t even read fics on there, on mobile or desktop, because i feel like i’m looking at a website from 2007.
however, ive always wondered how my fics would do on ao3. they aren’t super long, and i don’t have many written (15 to be exact) but i think the formatting would trip me up.

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Please sign the change dot org petition to repeal https://www.change.org/p/repeal-ab-413-twenty-foot-parking-loss-at-every-intersection
What is AB413: This is a California state assembly bill that "prohibits the stopping, standing, or parking of a vehicle within 20 feet of the vehicle approach side of any unmarked or marked crosswalk or 15 feet of any crosswalk where a curb extension is present". There is no requirement that this prohibited parking area be marked. Enforcement is due to begin in 2025 with warnings to be issued in 2024. The bill was authored by Assembly member Alex Lee, D-San Jose. There was no approval of this bill by the people of California.
What are the claimed benefits of this assembly bill: This bill is being monikered as a daylighting measure and is claimed that this measure will reduce pedestrian injuries from cars. However there are no substantive scientific studies to support this claim. Hoboken, New York is a small city of about 60,000 has been cited as proof of the power of daylighting however, far beyond the removal of parking, this city has made a herculean commitment to pedestrian safety with an extensive and extraordinary Police monitoring and enforcement actions and many street layout and design changes.
Why repeal AB413: Accident analysis data in San Francisco, the most densely populated City in all of California, shows that pedestrian accidents continue in areas of San Francisco where daylighting is already in place. The recent news shows a spate of out of control red light running, stop sign running, pavement driving and speeding drivers repeatedly crashing into pedestrians. What is needed is police enforcement and not loss of parking for the City. Prohibiting parking within 20 feet of any crosswalk is a complete overreaction and this law (AB-413) should be repealed as it removes thousands of crucially needed parking spots where there have been no incidents. This prohibition impacts not just residents themselves but businesses and services that rely on customers in Cities reeling from rampant crime and a major pandemic related downturn. In San Francisco this overreaction becomes clear if you look at the San Francisco governments own 2023 map of incidents where you can see the entire western swath of the City shows no incidents. Sure, prohibiting parking within 20 feet of crosswalks where it makes sense but not City wide. https://www.sfdph.org/dph/files/trafficsafety/Press_kit_project/contents/Ped_Injury_Fact_Sheet.pdf
How many spaces are lost? Let's take San Francisco as an example. An academic study from Marcel Maron shows San Francisco has 6,399 intersections using Satellite-imagery based analysis. Let's assume a very conservative single parking spot loss per 20' loss which is clearly an underestimate as there are very few cars that are twenty foot long. Now, with four approach sides lost per intersection, (considers both ordinary two way streets where one approach side is lost and one way streets where both sides of the approach are lost to parking), the loss in parking gives 25,596 spaces or ~10% of all street parking. Officials from the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency anticipate a significantly lower loss of about 13,775 on-street parking spots, or ~5% of all street parking, will be affected by the law. Parking in San Francisco is generally agreed to be at capacity. The cost to rent a parking space will doubtless skyrocket given supply and demand. Here is the link to the study https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/23998083221081530
What are the hidden benefits of street parking? 1) A parked car acts as an energy absorber when hit by an out of control car. All modern cars are designed to protect the occupants with crush areas thus protecting pedestrians on the adjacent sidewalk. A parked car is an immobile thing set in park mode with parking brake set and blocked by the curb from entering the sidewalk. 2) Reduces the space available for drivers spinning donuts and thus endangering pedestrians
Please sign the change dot org petition to repeal https://www.change.org/p/repeal-ab-413-twenty-foot-parking-loss-at-every-intersection

Hi, hello, it's me again, posting some more work my brain forced me to do before I'm allowed to get back to writing again 'cause none of it will be seen by anyone if I don't.
tl;dr, I tried to use the scenes we get to put together two possible floorplans for the Noceda residence, though, surprise surprise, there's no definitive answer.
Here's also an imgur album where all the sketches and combined screenshots scattered around this post are located. I'd suggest having all embeds open for this post's formatting's sake. If you instead want to read this post on tumblr, head here. Anyway.

Introduction

Alright, so we all know that houses in cartoons are innocuous suburban homes that inside are secretly eldritch shapeshifting nightmares hellbent on driving anyone trying to put together a definitive interior insane, answering only to the whims of the storyboarders. And typically, the longer a show runs and the more scenes we get inside a house, the more contradictions etc. build up. Thankfully, the Noceda residence, which I think I'll call Walnut Grove, or the Grove for short from here on out (since Noceda is losely translated to grove of walnut trees, and the Grove or Walnut Grove sounds like something people might name their house). Petering out sentence aside, thankfully we only see the inside of the Grove in a couple episodes: Camila's room in Enchanting Grom Fright's last scene, the living room in the ending scene of Keeping up A-fear-ances, several scenes of the kitchen and Luz's bedroom in Yesterday's Lie, the kitchen and entry hall at the end of King's Tide, Luz's room and the upstairs hallway in the epilogue, and of course every single room we know of in Thanks To Them.
Since the scenes establishing the Grove's interior are mostly isolated to single rooms or all within one episode, hopefully the paradoxes and contradictions remain somewhat low. And of course, before we fully dive into things, this is not meant as a critique towards the show. Setting up a scene, joke, or otherwise, trumps a fully logical, realistic layout, and putting together a full floorplan prior to boarding or animating makes it almost impossible to account for any later rooms or more useful arrangements that are needed in the future.
So, with the introduction aside, let's first take a look at the exterior of Walnut Grove.
Walnut Grove exterior
The house is a quaint suburban home with two floors, possibly an attic, and (a later revealed) basement, with a forward-facing gable roof that has one shed-style dormer window at the front. There's a chimney off on the right, slightly off-center, and there's two windows on this side, one for each floor. The front door is to the left, along with six windows, two thinner ones on either side of the door and four big ones, though the second thin window is occasionally missing, such as in the picture above. There's no garage, just a driveway. The back and left-facing sides of the Grove are never seen, so they're a blank slate, though it's very likely there's a backdoor. The general dimensions of the house seem to have a comparable width to length, close to a square.

First attempt

With that out of the way, now for piecing together the actual inside. Let's have the first attempt start right at the front door, which opens up into the entry hall, where the staircase resides.
Front door
In the second half of Thanks to Them, there's a perfect shot that shows the full entryway.
Full entry hallway
Here you can see the stairs on the left, a door on the left near the back of the stairs, a door all the way at the end with ventilation up top, and two openings on the right, one leading directly into the kitchen.
As a funny aside, in the extended intro in Thanks to Them there's a shot of the hall that looks like this, where the stairs have to be fit in a seriously thin slice on the left to not be visible.
Spaghettified staircase
Anyway, going counter-clockwise, the living room is easily established as being the first opening on the right of the hall (hard to see due to low lighting), the stairs are also visible from the living room. The majority of this room is occupied by drawers and small tables, plus a large sofa in the middle with a TV against the front wall. There's also a window off to the right.
Living room
The back right corner of the living room is never seen properly, nor is the front wall beyond a close-up shot of the TV, but the back left has this additional inward corner.
The other room visible in the prior establishing shot of the entry hall is the kitchen, being accessible through the second opening. These two opposing shots give a full view of the kitchen. There's a counter that runs along the back three walls, along with a kitchen island and a breakfast table on the other side. The microwave and stove top plus oven are on the left along with the fridge, and the sink's at the back.
Kitchen
The opening on the right of the second picture leads into the hallway, with the other exit being a regular door.
There's also a different angle where the opening is seen more clearly, with the room opposite the hall being the downstairs toilet. This also means the door on the left of the establishing shot of the entry hallway belongs to the downstairs toilet, leaving only the door at the back of the hall unaccounted for, though the presence of the window in the kitchen makes it very likely this is the backdoor, or something that leads into a small room that has the backdoor.
Kitchen view of toilet
And that should be all the known rooms on the ground floor done with. Here's a crude sketch for the layout (not necessarily to scale):
Sketch of downstairs
Before making anything more definitive, let's move on to the other two floors. First, the basement is probably the easiest and most well-defined. These two opposing shots map out the majority of it.
Basement
There's a small work station and a sofa seated up against the stairs down to the basement, a closet on the wall to the right, alongside a washedryer setup. In the opposing corner is a small bar. This was definitely the mancave. The one thing that's missing is a pool table. The only trouble the basement has is…where are the stairs to the basement located? The space right under the stairs in the entryway is already occupied by the downstairs toilet, and the front of the house is already mapped from left to right: left wall -> entry hall -> living room -> window on the right wall. The only bits with space undefined/left is in the back right, as the kitchen's right wall has no windows or anything to indicate it's actually an outside wall, or the back left, with the unassigned door which may or may not be the backdoor obscuring things. The unassigned door has ventilation above it, and while I'm not sure, I presume it's common to have those above interior doors rather than exterior ones, so perhaps there is indeed another room back there. Especially if it's the entry to the basement, which has no windows or access to the outside for ventilation. Plus, the way the kitchen extends further back than the hallway in its establishing shot suggests there is room back there.
Lastly, let's move on to the upper floor.
The main thing we see on this floor is Luz's room, which is almost fully mapped by these shots, leaving just one corner unseen.
Luz's room
It has a bunk bed, a window on either side on both walls, a built-in closet with sliding door on the opposing wall, a small bookcase, and a desk under the right-most window. This is also where we run into the first definitive irreconcilable contradiction. You can see the slanted roof of the house here, with Luz's ceiling going up diagonally from the wall with the bookcase to the door at the back. However, in Yesterday's Lie, Vee jumps out of the desk window on the right, and comes out the shed window at the front of the Grove.
Vee yeeting out the window
Furthermore, we also have a shot at the end of the extended intro in Thanks to Them, where Luz sits at her desk on the right and directly sees the school bus arrive at the front.
School bus arrives
So, the ceiling says the desk window should be on the side of the Grove, but two instances say the window is at the front. There's sadly no way to reconcile this, so any future layout will have to compromise and pick one or the other. One thing that's clear though is that Luz's room has a front-facing wall. Whether that means her room is at the front-right corner or the front-left corner is up to us to pick.
The ceiling's slant in Luz's room should start a lot lower near the floor anyway, as the roof at the front slants down all the way to the bottom of the upper floor, along with the shed window being obvious from the inside, while in Luz's room the diagonal ceiling is only near the top, and the windows are both on flat walls. But of course, fitting in a bunk bed with that kind of ceiling is much more difficult for animators with these shots, so let's just let that slide.
Moving on, we also get a few shots of the upstairs hallway.
Upstairs hallway
Now, I definitely think this hallway has been stretched out in the right picture, namely to add in all the photos on the wall, so let's go with animation trickery and assume the length is shorter than this, otherwise it'll probably be wider than the entire house, length- or width-wise. We also have at least two doors on one side of the hall, possibly three since the door in the left picture is white, with the other door further back in the right picture being brown. There's also room behind the camera on the left for a door, as well as the stairs leading up to the hallway. There's no serious slant visible in the ceiling like in Luz's room, so the hallway isn't directly up against an outside wall, so that's one point off.
When it comes to Camilla's room we basically see nothing except the bed and the door, so nothing more to say about that.
Camila's room
Before I go ahead and show my first attempt at a complete floorplan, I'll also mention that we're missing a proper bathroom, so that's something that has to be around somewhere. Since there's at least three doors in the upstairs hallway, and convention, the bathroom will be upstairs.
There's also this inward corner in the back-left of the living room, and the kitchen doesn't have an alcove back there, so another room has to be back there. Though from all possible angles, no door can be seen. So apparently the Grove just has a hole in its center?
Unidentified empty space
Lastly, there's the already mentioned possible location of the basement stairs behind the door at the back of the hall. I'll leave out a highly possible attic space, as it's never shown, and adding it to the floorplan is pretty easy. Just a singular room with a collapsible ceiling ladder somewhere in the upstairs hallway.
With all this kept in mind, the floorplan that arises from this looks like this, though proportions can be altered a little:
Floorplans attempt 1
Some clarifications, I turned the mysterious gap in the center of the house into a pantry, with kitchen-access, even if there's no actual access visible in the show. The second doorway in the kitchen also directly leads into the living room, in the corner we can't see. A fireplace is also added, as there should be a chimney/fireplace around that location. The space behind the door at the back of the hall is turned into a room with access to the basement, though I can also see it containing the breaker box and that kind of stuff on the right wall.
For the basement, nothing more needs to be said, except yes, I did add the pool table. And for the upstairs, by making things fit with the parameters set with the ground floor, the additional space in the front-left corner becomes a home office (for Manny, rest in peace), with Luz's room at the front-right and her desk window becoming the shed window, and Camila's room at the back-right. Using up some of the remaining space for built-in closets, the potential third/middle door in the hallway becomes the missing bathroom, which is an en-suite here. Lastly, the remaining space in the back left just becomes more storage space.
So yeah, a few clunky things, but it works overall.
Now to tear this apart and point out all the inconsistencies I left out up until now.

The inconsistencies #1

Obviously, Luz's room is a Schrodinger's room that's in either the front-left corner state or the front-right corner state. For the sake of illustrating both options, I collapsed the wave function into front-right for this attempt, but I'll get back to the other state in a bit.
This also means the hallway is oriented wrong, as none of the slanted roof can be seen at the back, which would be the case if the orientation was front to back. The upstairs hallway is depicted as being oriented from left to right, parallel to the rooftop, especially with the window at the end.
Speaking of windows, the sideview of the Grove's exterior shows there's no window near the front at the right-facing wall, even though the living room has a window at the right. No matter what, the living room is solidly depicted as being in the front-right corner of the house, making this missing living room window the second irreconcilable contradiction we've encountered so far.
Keeping up with windows, the exterior window in the back of the right-facing wall is nowhere to be seen in the actual floorplan, belonging to the kitchen, which has no window on that wall. Furthermore, the side of a neighbor's house is visible in the kitchen window, meaning that wall is side-facing. This means the kitchen is either in the back-left corner or the front-right corner, though the latter is already occupied by the living room, so if anything, the kitchen would be in the back-left.
And, as mentioned previously, there's absolutely no entry to this mysterious hole in the center of the floorplans in any of the interior shots.
Kitchen window inconsistency
Based on these floorplans, it should also be clear that the house stretches back more than it is wide, which doesn't match up well with the outside, where the layout is more square.
Oh, and I left out the biggest inconsistency so far.
You remember that second entry to the kitchen? The one with the door, not the one to the entry hall? The one I assigned to being a direct passage into the living room?
Yeah, there's a whole second hallway beyond there, one we never actually see from within in the show.
Surprise hallway!
So…big oversight on my part there.
With all these big inconsistencies pointed out though, barring the two irreconcilable ones, let's try again, and attempt to work out these kinks.

Second attempt

I'll spare you the same pictures of the rooms again, so let's get to the meat of this second attempt.
Rather than base things off the entryway, let's instead build things up on the ground floor around the kitchen, since that one had the biggest inconsistencies in attempt one.
Well, let's start with putting the kitchen at the left of the house, with the kitchen window facing left. We also still have the downstairs toilet across the hall from the opening, and we now also have this second hallway visible from the other door, which has a corner, if not a T-junction, right where the kitchen door is, and two doors, one for each wall of said corner.
A crude sketch of this arrangement looks like this:
Sketch of kitchen and hallway
We now have a weird mess of hallways and turns, but to further build on this, let's just connect the two bits of hallway we can see into one, which you'll see just below in the final floorplan.
Of course, the location of the entry hallway and the living room doesn't change whatsoever, so let's just go ahead and show my full second attempt:
Floorplans attempt 2
As you can see here, the new kitchen direction with adjacent hallway system, combined with the entryway and living room, fills up quite a bit of floorspace. That, and the downstairs toilet now neatly explains the back-left corner of the living room. Concerning the two additional doors visible in the second hallway, I've assigned one to the pantry, and the other to a small closet containing the breaker box.
The long stretch of hallway parallel to the right of the kitchen did create some empty space between the living room and the pantry, but I filled this up with a proper dining room. This also now happens to be the spot where the chimney/fireplace would be located, which seems very fitting.
The basement does not change in any significant way, besides needing to figure out where the basement stairs are, as the kitchen now occupies the space right behind the entry stairway. As the weird second hallway section seems to extend beyond the windowless kitchen wall, the implied space right beyond the kitchen is turned into the basement stairs. This also turns the whole basement by ninety degrees.
Lastly, there is the upstairs. As the placement of the staircase really does not change, the floorplan of the upstairs is not determined by that of the downstairs. In reality, the floorplan of the first attempt and that of the second attempt here could be interchanged if you fudged the proportions a little. Anyway, for this upstairs I collapsed the Luz Schrodinger's room wave function into the front-left corner state, meaning we're now adhering to the sloped roof visible in Luz's room rather than the desk window. I also gave the one corner that's never actually shown in the show an indent to give some room for the stairs to go up without the ceiling being in the way.
With her room in the front-left, this makes the hallway stretch from left-to-right, also solving that discrepancy discussed with the last attempt. Beyond that, I assigned the three visible doors upstairs to Luz's room, a hallway closet, and the home office (otherwise an empty space), with the shed window now being part of said office, and in the back there's Camila's room, a walk-in closet, and the en-suite bathroom to fill the remaining space.
All in all, a decently put together floorplan, I'd say. Now let's point out what's wrong with this one.

The inconsistencies #2

Let's get the obvious ones out of the way. Luz's desk window now doesn't face the front anymore, but this was one of two irreconcilable contradictions anyway. The other one is the lack of a living room window on the right side of the house, which again can't be fixed.
Speaking of windows, the one in Luz's room, above her low bookshelf, is not visible on the exterior, where only the shed windows are visible. Proportions just won't allow this shed window to belong to Luz's room, unless you fudge with things and make the other room on the front end be much thinner. At least there's now space for a window on the lower right wall near the back, which I added to the bit of hallway that reaches the right wall, between the dining room and pantry.
There are two glaring inconsistencies though, one being the fact the entrance hall no longer matches the one establishing shot, where the kitchen is visibly established as being oriented where its one window is facing the back. This kitchen window both facing the back of the house as well as showing one of the neighboring houses is the third irreconcilable contradiction.
Full entry hallway
The other big inconsistency involves the downstairs toilet, which happens to have a small window on the wall opposite the door. The stars are even visible through it.
Quantum tunneling toilet window
In this layout, this wall is an interior one, with the living room being on the other side. It seems this window is somehow capable of quantum tunneling to the exterior wall, which doesn't sound very realistic. (As an aside, I'll skip on figuring out a floorplan for the actual Owl House, citing magic as my excuse. That, or 'Hooty was feeling a little quirky with his insides that scene' when contradictory shots show up).

Concluding remarks

In general, the Noceda residence is decently well established, and does not have too many irreconcilable contradictions, as hoped for predicted in the introduction. Trust me, other cartoon houses are notorious for being extremely inconsistent in their depictions.

1. Luz's desk window suggests her room plus upstairs hallway stretch front-to-back, but the ceilings of her room and hallway show they stretch left-to-right.
2. The kitchen window is facing left, but the entry hall and kitchen are established to face front-to-back.
3. The living room is established to be in the front-right corner, but the window visible on the right wall is absent on the outside.

Anyway, I'm pretty happy with the two layouts I put together, though I personally prefer the second attempt. Besides the three irreconcilable contradictions, which you'll just have to pick and choose or ignore altogether, there's only three other contradictions here, compared to the five of the first attempt, which included the missing hallway. That, and things just fit together more neatly. I do like how both have at least one loop in them. I can just picture younger Luz doing the human equivalent of zoomies on the ground floor.
So, dear reader who's somehow found this post and read it to the end, which floorplan do you prefer, or think makes more sense? Keep in mind that you can swap the layouts for the upstairs between the two attempts as long as you adjust the proportions a little.
But that's enough out of me. I'll see you once the next side-tangent for fic writing hits and I put too much effort into it to not show it online.

Like the title states, I genuinely think Victorious has the best wardrobe out of all the other kids sitcoms during this era.
Despite their unique aesthetics (Jade being goth/emo/alternative, Cat being kawaii pastel, Tori and Trina being 2 takes on the 2010s tumblr hot girl) a lot of cute outfits were crafted.
I swear I can’t stop thinking about this one purple dress Trina wore (it was when Andre and Beck came over and were “fighting” over her i believe?). Did you know that Hanna from Pretty Little Liars wore that same exact dress but in blue?
I really appreciate the simplicity of Tori’s outfits when you look at what they were wearing over at Disney on Shake it Up and Wizards (unpopular opinion but I really did not Alex’s outfits. They had too much going on and the hippie-ish look didn’t really fit her I feel?)

I know the drama is long over, but I'm still posting a recap of sorts to clear things up for people who keep asking whether Alex is innocent or not. That's the last thing I'll say about the drama.
I also created a document for Twitter, you can also read it here if you want. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tMs6Pyx4thszIkNxoqLxgCSwq29HLaVFuzQnuvgBcqQ/edit?usp=sharing
(These texts you are reading come from the Fandoms Wikitubia page where there is a controversial stage by Alex Kister site. I didn't write it just so you know everything. I just copied the text and created it on a document for those who always wonder whether Alex is innocent or not. The ones that have blue font are the documents links that Ven and Alex's documents have published. I hope it helps and I hope the argument slowly stops.)
On March 12th, 2024, TwitteX user Stirringjuice (aka Ven, an ex partner of Alex) uploaded a document against Alex Kister titled "Warning About Alex Kister". The document alleged predatory and manipulative behavior, along with accusing him of suicide baiting and abusing power dynamics with his fans. The document exposed messages of Alex's interactions with Ven, his activity in various Discord servers, and his interactions with a user who goes by the alias "DB" (another ex partner of Alex). The document heavily criticized Alex's sexual texting with Ven and DB, Alex discussing his gender with those in the servers (that included minors ranging from ages 14-17), and various interpersonal issues between Alex and his partners. Along with the initial document, various others posted statements accusing Alex of similar transgressions.
As a result of the initial document (which had gained 7 million views and 30k likes) and the other testimonies, the vast majority of the analog horror community across various platforms condemned Alex. Most of the cast and crew of the Mandela Catalogue quit and denounced Alex (with some leaking information about the show, including details about Vol. 5), various content creators spoke out against Alex, and Retro Release Video terminated their VHS release of The Mandela Catalogue whilst giving out refunds to those who ordered it. Alex, along with some of his defenders, were doxed as a result.
On March 24th, 2024, Alex Kister would post a response to the allegations on Twitter titled "My Perspective" (as well as a small response to The Mandela Catalogue being reported as "Fetish Content"). He retweeted a thread from one of his defenders alongside his statement. In the document, Alex denies the claims of being a predator and manipulator, as well of clarifying that he isn't a groomepedophile (accusations that were being spread around as a result of the allegations). In the document, Alex's main argument against the allegations is that his texts with Ven and DB, who are older than him, were consensual, reciprocated, and encouraged whilst also providing and respecting exits for his partners whenever they were uncomfortable. He also states that he never abused his power with fans as he never leveraged said power against them. He proved malicious intent from Ven, exposed lies and unsubstantiated claims, called out omitted context while providing additional context to the texts Ven showed, and called out hypocrisy, mismanagement, and defamation from Ven (such as accusing Alex of grooming on Tumblr despite initially saying he didn't groom anyone and later retracting that statement on Twitter). Alex also pointed out that he had no illegal or sexual activities with minors, calling Ven out for never proving said activities nor any malicious intent. In the document, despite arguing that he was not suicide baiting, as he has a history of self harm and suicidal ideation as well as the fact that his livelihood and relationships were being threatened, Alex apologizes for burdening DB and Mitcha (one of the accusers) with his suicidal ideation. He concludes by promising to not make friends with fans of his whilst also promising that The Mandela Catalogue would continue and that the story leaks were fake. He also discouraged people from harassing anyone.
The response (which has over 1 million views and 5k likes) had gained mostly positive support from those who were watching the situation unfold. Shortly after Alex posted his statement, Ven pledged to respond to the document, criticized Alex for not addressing the other accusations, thanked Alex for confirming what transpired was real, and criticized Alex for not understanding power dynamics. Ven was vastly criticized for this tweet. Some content creators issued apologies for not waiting for Alex to respond and immediately assuming he was guilty. Despite this, Alex was still criticized by some for not addressing all of the accusers and for not giving enough weight to the power dynamics between him and his fans. Alex made a follow up tweet condemning people for spreading rumors about and harassing other people. Some users had continued to dox Alex, resulting in Ven making a thread condemning the action and doxers. Alex disabled comments on his YouTube channel and deleted his Instagram posts after the doxing continued.
On April 8th, 2024, Ven issued a statement in which they said their intent was to no longer prolong the drama. They apologized for poorly wording and formatting the document, transphobic rhetoric in their document, including irrelevant and personal details about Alex, betraying him, influencing others, and turning his friends against him. They promised to delete their Twitter and did so the next day.
Many people came out in support of Alex whilst heavily criticizing Ven for false allegations. The cast and crew who had posted public statements against Alex have since deleted them, with some apologizing to Alex for their reactions. After Ven deleted their document, Alex deleted nearly all of his tweets (with the exception of his statement and a meme about The Mandela Catalogue).

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Just as expected, Carbon was waiting at the entrance to Engineering - it had its own stop on the maglev line. It was the heart of the ship. On Human ships it was usually the single largest section, what with all the power generation and multiple methods of ship motivation going on. Unless he was mistaken - which he could be as he was just guessing at the moment as there was no speedometer on the maglev tram - it was about two-thirds of the way back from the bow. A human ship would usually have it all the way to the aft.
What he hadn’t expected was how Carbon was dressed. He’d gotten used to her in a lightly modified CPP coverall while back on the Kshlav’o, once she had stopped wearing the encounter suit. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that wasn’t her normal getup. It had all the exact same pockets as his - in what universe did two separate species both develop coveralls with the same pocket layout and nametag location?
Even the standard Tsla’o pants and jacket had been easy to adjust to.
This getup, on the other hand, made her look a little bit like a videogame character. Brown boots that nearly came up to her knees, with slabs of scuffed armor and soles so thick she was noticeably taller. Similarly heavy khaki-colored pants, made of thicker fabric than what she normally wore, reinforced impact patches at the knees, hips, and lower back. Absolutely resplendent with pockets. Looked like there were a few places to hook up a safety harness, and guides for a belt as well.
That all pretty much made sense. He understood the functionality. Above the beltline, on the other hand, was not as understandable. It looked mostly she was just wearing the smallest daman possible and a very short jacket as well - it looked like the same leather-like material as her boots, and even sported some matching armor. Despite that, it didn’t go past her rib cage, and appeared to stop at her elbows. Left pretty much the entire middle of her body exposed, which seemed a bit counterproductive.
There was a lot of technology integrated into the jacket. Sensor clusters around the collar glowed softly, and there were a few holographic emitters sitting dark dotting the area. Her antenna rested in slots around the back to interface with the built-in computer and any nearby networks.
Out of all of this, the most notable thing for Alex was that she looked so at ease here as she wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed the life out of him. She looked happy in a way that she hadn’t until now.
“I hope you have slept well?” Carbon looked up, not a hint of tiredness in her face or voice despite having gotten up in the middle of the night to work.
“I actually did, yeah. Feels like I haven’t done that in awhile.” He did not bring up what he and Neya had talked about. Not standing around here in the open - he wasn’t up with the ins and outs of their culture, let alone the entire Zeshen thing, but it felt like the wrong place. They would have that talk once they were back at the cabin.
“Good.” Her smile was sublime, eyes squinting with an easy delight. She gestured at the package in his hands. “And what is this?”
Alex was pretty sure she had never looked this relaxed before. Maybe communing with the ship really was something she needed to be doing. “Gloves. Well, gauntlets. Sergeant Zenshen brought them over as I was heading out. She’s my military liaison now, I guess. Per Eleya’s orders.” His gaze kept dropping back to her exposed midriff for some reason.
Even mention of her aunt didn’t phase her, though her eyebrows did come down with a hint of chagrin. “She was acting as Colonel Lehnan’s liaison, and has just been attached to you? Though... They are already attached to the project concerning the artifact.” She had her phone out, tapping away at the screen.
“Yeah, she didn’t seem bothered by it?” He shrugged. In his estimation, the Sergeant had been having a pretty good time, except for that little hiccup in the corridor. It was probably a pretty easy assignment, all things considered. Most of the time. “Just keeping me from stepping on the wrong toes.”
“Be that as it may, I have asked Neya to look into how this was done - I do not want to leave the Colonel sitting on the riverbed.” She slipped the phone away into her entirely too short a jacket and looped her arm around his, a sly smirk on her muzzle as she directed them both off the tram platform. “Now, on to more pressing matters?”
“Sounds good. Where are you taking me?” His knowledge of the ship ran out just as soon as they walked through the archway, into a slightly busy corridor. These people were at work. They moved with purpose and many were carrying equipment he didn’t recognize, or pushing antigrav carts with large equipment he didn’t recognize, save for one poor duo trying to hover the biggest impeller press that he’d ever seen outside a dry dock through the crowd.
“There is a place here that is, I believe, much like your Noonan’s.” She had to speak up a little bit over the background noise here, but still very much in her preferred environment. “It is... The Hammer’s Rest, I think is a good translation. A place for crews who are on breaks or may be called up.”
“Oh neat.” It dawned on him that this was the first time he was seeing the actual crew of the Sword. Several wore powered environment suits in an eye-catching shade of red, but most were clad in the nearly the same outfit that Carbon wore. Some had long sleeves, others full length jackets. Anything that looked like leather was colored coded on theirs, as well. Blue, red, orange, purple... “Ok, honest question here - what’s up with the coat? Yours doesn’t seem very safe.”
“My coat?” She looked down at it, realization filling her eyes as she laughed. Carbon grasped the hem with both hands, thumbs resting on a subtle pair of buttons, and just pulled it down like a curtain. She let it go at her hip so it slightly overlapped her pants. “Adjustable, but it is common practice to have the sleeves and hem raised when one is off duty.”
“Hang on, does that extrude material?” His gaze fell on her abdomen again, now framed. Looks like he was learning something about himself this morning.
“Very good, it does. Allowing the user to adjust their equipment to their body and protective needs without custom tailoring or changing gear for different tasks.” She gestured at a passing crewmember in one of the red environment suits, helmet retracted and focused on whatever the holographic display before him was showing. “Though particularly dangerous tasks still require more.”
“Well damn, all right. It changes color too, right? All networked together?” Not a big jump, if they were stacking that much technology into protective gear.
“Correct again.” Carbon nearly sang it as she tugged him down a side corridor. “In Engineering they are for teams, though in other parts of the ship they may have specific jobs.”
“Like flightdeck crew.” The most obvious group who used color coding, off the top of his head.
“Exactly.” Their path turned again, this time through another archway that rivaled the size of the one into the tram station, holographic letters in the most garish colors possible stretched overhead.
Alex wanted to call it a restaurant, at first. It was huge compared to the other places he had been on board, about thirty meters to a side, and actually dim. The walls were lined with long tables, clusters of color-coded workers spread out around the place. The center of the room was taken up by a big square bar, though, which made it more of a pub or tavern - very much like Noonan’s.
Also like Noonan’s, everything was made of dark wood. The floor, stools, chairs, tables, the bar, all a sort of dark red-brown that occasionally dipped into black, metalwork done in gleaming steel. The walls carried a wattle and daub pastiche, wooden beams running floor to ceiling and horizontally from corner to corner, filled in with a checkerboard of dark green and blue stucco. While it didn’t have the big screen Noonan’s sported, there were a dozen or so smaller screens with a plethora of information about who was needed where.
“This feels like my kind of joint.” Even the curious glances being tossed his way felt normal. Like that’d be what any dumbass rolling in wearing a fancy jacket would get. The din of conversation was far and away the most surprising part - his translator was catching at least half of it, the banality of people waiting for something to happen crystal clear. “Tell me they sell t-shirts?”
“Wh- no, they do not sell t-shirts.” Carbon sighed with a smile and pointed out a door halfway down the far wall, their destination.
“Not yet.” He wouldn’t have minded a heads up about the overall casualness. Any excuse to dress down, honestly. Beyond the door was just a smaller, but similarly themed room with a fraction of the people in it. A bar ran halfway down one side, the rest of the floor containing smaller tables for two or four. The change in dress was noticeable, going from the engineering gear to stuff more like what Aena from the novel he’d been reading had been wearing - pants and a sleeveless vest. Manager clothes, though matching the colors everybody else outside wore.
She settled in at a shorter table in the corner, handing him a menu from the stack waiting there. “Everything they make is pretty good.”
“All right. No warnings about the chicken fingers?” He said, recalling the last time they’d been in a pub.
Carbon laughed. “No. Probably no drinking - it is a bit early in the day to start.”
“Yeah, not drinking before noon has treated me pretty well.” So far, anyway. “But now that you got me thinking about it, I kinda want a Mimosa.”
“A what?”
“Orange juice and champagne.” He perused the menu, the translations an unhealthy mix of generic terms for food items and nouns that left him with no idea what anything was. Shoreline Broth with Root Vegetable left so much to the imagination. There were plenty of ways to interpret that which didn’t strike him as appetizing. Was it fish based? Did it remind one of low tide? How far into ‘alien taste sensation’ were they getting here, and what was the sensation he’d be feeling? “You usually drink them with brunch, which this is probably not.”
Carbon laughed and set her menu down with a bemused smile. “And what is brunch?”
“It’s a meal that’s later than br-eakfast, but before l-unch.” Alex split the words up into what was hopefully a clear explanation of the portmanteau, and set his menu down too. Time to go to the old standby. “Mostly breakfast food, though, and focusing more on socialization than a meal specifically. Hence a little morning drinking.”
She perked up as he explained it, ears shifting a little to focus on him. “That sounds... it sounds interesting.”
“If you want to go, I know a few places in Berkley, though I suppose anywhere in-system is accessible right now with a little planning.” He didn’t miss that she was interested. More interested than he’d seen her in human stuff since they had gone shopping. Maybe a bit of relaxation in her own culture was giving her the space to be interested in his... Though, brunch seemed a bit superficial. Whatever. It was interest in him and his culture, and it felt good.
Made him really want a Belgian waffle, too.
“I would enjoy that.” Carbon petered off, turning to look at the waitress as she approached the table.
She had dark red fur, and was bundled up to an extent that Alex hadn’t seen yet on any Tsla’o outside of a powered suit - a blouse that actually closed around the neck and matching slacks in light weight, natural colored materials. Long boots, and gloves that ran up to her elbows, and an apron tied around her waist. There was a forced seriousness to her, staring straight at the green square of wall at the end of the table. She set a teapot down between them, shaking hands distributing a cup to each of them before she started speaking way too fast. “Hello we are ready to receive your order.”
Alex couldn’t put a finger on it, but she was familiar looking. A little on the short side, and he was pretty sure fairly young. Late teens, maybe. Her eyes seemed proportionally larger than an adult, which according to the massive peepers on Adana last night was a neotenous trait on the Tsla’o as well. Wait. “Oh- Akai, Haraya!”
Carbon looked from their stressed out waitress to Alex, and then back to Haraya. Then back to Alex, eyebrows raised in confusion. “How do you know her?”
“She’s the one who gave me directions last night. Thanks again for that, by the way.” He gave her a little nod. Looks like she knew who she was standing in front of this time. Probably expected him to still speak fluent Tsla, too, because she clearly didn’t understand what he was saying in English. That was a problem he had not foreseen last night.
She still made a strangled little sound that was in the general vicinity of positive and bowed deep enough to make the bartender look over.
“Oh. Yes, that was very appreciated.” Carbon spoke in Tsla as she looked back to Haraya, who was still staring intently at the wall. “Please, such formality is not required, or sought. I assure you.”
“Of course Princess.” Haraya replied, catching herself before she got too deep into another bow. Her eyes darted to Carbon with nervous energy. “What would you care to order?”
“Ah, just a bowl of simmered grass grains with fruit mash, please.” She favored the young woman with a friendly smile as the translator brutalized her language for a solid two seconds after she stopped speaking.
Alex balked. “Isn’t that what you always have?”
She switched languages without missing a beat. “Yes, it has served me well.”
“Ok, so I was just going to have what you’re having. Translator really does a number on food names and I kinda figured, you know, restaurant. We wouldn’t just be having something we make at home.” His expectation of that wasn’t panning out to be very interesting. After the ‘lace crackers’ and that sausage yesterday, breakfast was feeling like good territory to explore their cuisine. “So uh... Can you recommend something for me?”
“Mh. You make a good point. They have many ingredients we do not normally keep at home.” Carbon pondered the menu on the table for a moment while Haraya continued to look nervous. She had switched languages again when she looked up. “We will both have the Shoreline Broth with burnt noodles and chef’s decision.”
“Sounds.” Well that was an interesting hole to have stepped in. “Great.”
“Of course, thank you Princess. Prince. It will be ready soon.” The waitress gave them both little bows and walked away as fast as she could.
Alex waited until Haraya had gone through the doors to where he assumed the kitchen was. “She wasn’t like that when she gave me directions.”
“Most youth do not... Have any experience with us. Nobles used to be rare, but they are truly scarce now. The number of Royals has increased recently, though. ” She smirked and lifted the teapot, pouring first into Alex’s cup, then filling her own. “I suppose they have not met many Humans, either. But that was not the nerves of meeting a new race on display.”
“I don’t think she thought I was actually, you know. Real. Which, given how I was dressed at the time, is completely understandable.” He scanned the bar, the only three other people there sitting at it. None of them seemed nearly as concerned about their presence. They all had signs of aging, silver gray fur standing out clearly on two, and nearly wreathing the head of the other.
Him and Carbon were the youngest people in here by years, at least.
“I think it may have been more that a Human appeared before her, on the flagship of the Tsla’o Empire.” She laughed and reached out to cup his hands. “How did you manage to get so lost on your adventure, anyway?”
“Ugh, all right.” He launched into a cut down version of events, where he spent way less time actually being lost and glossed over the fact he was just opening up electrical and communications closets. Very quickly getting to the interesting part with Adana finding him standing there in the hall, considering his options.
“He does sound very cute. By your description, I would say three to four years old. Perhaps he did not wish to speak to a stranger.” Carbon replied to his inquiry about how old the kids he’d just told her about were. “Haraya is probably sixteen. A little young to be working, but this area is quieter, less likely to be rowdy. And you say there were six children?”
“Six and Haraya, yes.” It did seem like a lot of kids. He knew of one family back in Berkley that had four kids. But seven? Parents must have been busy in a couple of different ways.
“That is... unusual for Tsla’o families. It is rare to have more than three.” She hummed softly, eyes turned towards the ceiling as she leaned back in her chair and pondered. “Deck 60, below the Stronghold complex, port side... I do not understand, there should be a frigate bay there. Not ‘civilian’ housing.”
“I dunno what to tell you. A lot of it looked new. Still smelled like a print forge.” Frigate bay? Damn this ship was big. He was sure Human carriers sported large launchable escorts as well, but it was weird to hear about them actually having internal storage.
Carbon activated the holographic emitters on her jacket and projected a schematic of the ship over the table between them, zooming in on the area he’d been in. “Did it smell greasy or acrid?”
“Greasy, why?”
“That is what a Human forge smells like. Ours produce a more astringent scent.” She manipulated the hologram further, isolating a subsection of the ship. “Hm. Removed both bays under the Stronghold entirely and refit them with self contained residential... communities. Most of it is housing, but there are a few public spaces. Power is mostly off the ship grid, same with the other utilities. Dedicated food production. Schools.”
So it had just been built, with parts from a Human sourced forge. Based on the doors and access panels, it had then been finished with Tsal’o technology. Alex leaned in, inspecting the cross section of decks. Most of it was turned inward, the doors opening to corridors that did not run to the rest of the ship, with a few small clusters of exceptions that seemed to be tacked on to fill out space. “The layout really reminds me of an arcology. Industry at the bottom, more livable space above. Just a continuous eighty decks tall.”
Carbon’s ears twitched and the hologram shut off just as Haraya emerged from the back with two large bowls on a tray.
Their waitress was more comfortable now, though her gaze remained steadfastly anywhere other than them as she delivered the steaming soup. “Thank you for your patience.” She said this at a much more normal speed as she laid out a setting of chopsticks and spoons for them.
Carbon replied first. “Of course, thank you for your efforts.”
“Thank you.” Alex echoed, in English. He thought about it for a second and realized that she wasn’t going to pick that one up. “Sa meha.”
Haraya bowed again, departing swiftly.
“Already getting tired of that.” He mumbled, picking up his chopsticks and inspecting the Shoreline Broth with burnt noodles and chef’s decision. It was mostly noodles and decision, the broth barely visible under the pile of... food items. It did not smell like low tide, so that was a point in its favor already. The scent actually reminded him of saimin. Salty, savory, very much with a seafood origin. The burnt noodles were thick tan disks that had a little crinkle of black scorch around the outside, a hole in the middle indicating they had been on a stick and grilled or broiled, then sliced after the fact. Had a nice bite to it, but no real flavor aside from the broth and a hint of sweet ash.
“I think she is reacting based on how she has seen Nobles presented in media. They usually start as aloof and quick-tempered.” Carbon had tucked in without delay, pausing to talk with a bunch of shredded vegetables gripped in her chopsticks. “Though by the end of those stories they have learned humility one way or another, and are on their way to becoming good people.”
“Sounds like we started at the end.” Alex found a piece of that spicy moss he liked and picked it out. He could do with a dab of Chinese mustard in the broth to add another layer of flavor, but otherwise he was a little annoyed that this monstrously named dish was starting to grow on him. Maybe not as a breakfast, but he could see having it for dinner. “Is it rude to add seasoning to food? Wouldn’t mind a little more heat in this.”
“If there are spices on the table, it is acceptable.” She slid a little jar at the far end of the table over to his bowl before reactivating the holographic display. It was a little dimmer this time and at a smaller scale, rotating slowly as she ate. “This is based on our community towers. Largely self-contained buildings with shopping, restaurants, utilities and work areas on the lower floors, and apartments of varying sizes above them. It is very much like your arcologies, on a smaller scale.”
“Alright, that answers that.” The pot was split into three segments, a little spoon resting in each. He carefully tasted all of them, a drop of each onto his chopsticks so he could determine what he was getting into. One salty, one a sort of sweet vinegar, and the third a gentle warmth with no discernable flavor. He heaped a few spoonfuls of the third into his bowl.
“It does.” She reached over and added a spoonful of the vinegar to her own bowl.
“Looks like... Six hundred apartments of varying sizes?” There was nearly as much of a weird shredded vegetable in the bowl as there were noodles. It was like a cabbage and a potato had been combined into something Alex couldn’t tell if he liked or not. “So they added... what, two thousand people in each tower? Four thousand people total.”
“If they are putting seven children into one larger home... Hopefully with at least two adults, it could be closer to five thousand.” She idly stirred her bowl, zooming back out to the entire ship again, shuffling through something that changed which section of the ship was being highlighted. “Renovated several areas into senatorial offices. One floor of the Stronghold seems to contain a parliamentary chamber now, as well. I believe Eleya has had the Sword of the Morning Light converted to act as a mobile capital.”
“So it’s an actual capital ship now?” Alex tried to hide the smirk that came with that pun but failed miserably as it turned into a broad grin. “Does explain why there’s so many senators on board.”
Carbon glared at him for a second, a sigh shifting into a quiet laugh. “And why she brought it to Sol.”
He chewed on some more of the cabbage-potato abomination that he was rapidly leaning towards not liking, sussing Eleya’s reasoning out. “Defense?”
She nodded in agreement. “How far into Sol do you suppose an unscheduled ship could get?”
“Wouldn’t even make it through the Oort cloud. That’s where the first layer of interdiction is.” He lifted what was clearly some kind of larva out of the broth and ate it, a burst of umami and the warmth of alcohol on his tongue. How did they get it to do that? “You guys have an interdiction system too, right?”
“Of course. Nearly as large as the one around Sol.”
The puzzle was starting to come together for him. “If she is legitimately concerned about the Empire fracturing, the threats to the Sword wouldn’t necessarily be coming from outside your home system. It could be coming from another ship in their own carrier group.”
“Here they will need permission to enter Confederate space, and Sol itself. I would not be surprised if Eleya was in communication with the Confederation about which Tsla’o ships should have access.” Carbon poked around in the bowl, searching for something particular. “Even one of our stealth craft would find making the trip undetected difficult, or extremely time consuming.”
“And for the time being it’s under the guise of further exploration of the artifact, not just taking advantage of the distance and local security to keep threats at bay.” Alex poured himself more tea and topped off Carbon, thinking about Eleya’s request of him last night. To take Carbon and request asylum in the Confederation should the Empire fall. Being right here at the seat of power would make the trip to ask real quick.
“Gives intelligence more time to work on those threats, as well.” She picked her tea up and nodded in thanks before taking a long sip.
“Alright, gotta give her credit for that.” He set about separating all of the cab-tato from the rest of the selection of items in the broth. Maybe he’d revisit it with different vegetables, but that part really wasn’t working with the flavor of the broth for him. “That’s a pretty good plan.”
 
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*****
Just having a nice hot breakfast. Nothing huge happening, just sussing some stuff out. A moment to breathe.
To save you the google: Saimin is a noodle soup from Hawaii. Sorta like ramen, but using a very clear dashi (kelp and bonito) broth.
Art pile: Carbon reference sheet. Art by Tyo_Dem

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WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for ACOTAR through ACOSF, plus the TOG and CC series (Maasverse)

Hello, friends! If this is the first post you've landed on, I would suggest starting at the top of this list and working your way down. We're on a deep-dive, looking at all the potential bread crumbles of the ship that is Azriel x Eris. As beautiful as I think this pairing would be, I bow down to our SJM queen and whatever plans she has in store for these two lovely males (but here's to hoping).
Proving Azriel x Eris is plausible in the SJM world
Azriel x Eris: The Visual Guide
ACOTAR
ACOMAF, Part 1
ACOMAF, Part 2
ACOMAF, Part 3
ACOWAR, Part 1
ACOWAR, Part 2
ACOWAR, Part 3
ACOFAS
ACOSF, Part 1
ACOSF, Part 2
ACOSF, Part 3
CC & CONCLUSION - You are here
My sister's reaction to Azriel x [____] 🦇🔥
Please note:

• Any posts that are not linked up are still in the works! Publishing date TBD.
• Reddit formatting is kind of a nuisance, and I've had to divide the larger books into smaller parts.
• Pages listed may or may not match your own edition.

We're here. The end of our series-long dissection of Eris x Azriel.

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https://preview.redd.it/w9d61tyhfeyc1.png?width=848&format=png&auto=webp&s=e6f32181da5bf7ad6220ae68791234308736d3a1

I'll be honest—I thought we were done with revelations and surprises concerning Azris, but as it turns out, we've got a few things left.

-----------------

Bryce lands in Prythian

Bryce's welcoming committee consists of one scary-ass Illyrian Shadowsinger:

A cool male voice spoke above her, behind her, in a language she did not recognize. But the curt words and tone were clear enough: Don’t fucking move.
HOSAB Ch 78

There's not a lot of new information here, but we're going to point them out anyway, trying not to linger too much on topics thoroughly explored in earlier posts.
Bryce recognizes Az is beautiful:

But the male face that stared through the mists, grave and lethal . . . it was beautiful, despite the fact that his hazel eyes held no mercy. He spoke again, in a soft voice that promised pain.
HOSAB Ch 78

He touches her a lot:

He hissed, and then a strong hand clamped on her shoulder, hauling her up and twisting her to face him.
The male’s hands were gentle but thorough as he fitted it [the scrap of cloth] tightly over her eyes.
Then hands were at her knees and back, and the ground was gone—they were flying.
He set her down, taking her by the hand.
He caught her, and sighed.
He gave no warning as he hauled her over a shoulder and tromped down a set of stairs before entering somewhere . . . nice-smelling.
He led her by the hand and pushed her downward. Bryce tensed, fighting it, but he did it again, and she sat.

There are many reasons why portions of the fandom lean toward the Azriel x Bryce ship and not gonna lie, this is good material for that.
We learn Az carries a blindfold with him:

With scarred hands, the demon pulled a scrap of black cloth from a hidden pocket in his armor. Held it up to his face, feigning putting it on. A blindfold.
HOSAB Ch 78

I'm not saying Az will be using that blindfold in certain types of other more, um, sexually charged situations, but I'm not not saying that, either.
And we get the most delightful nod to that hidden personality we've come to know:

He said something she didn’t understand, and then she was toppling forward—
He caught her, and sighed. She could have sworn he sounded . . . exasperated.
HOSAB Ch 78

Azriel rarely, if ever, shows emotion, but you know exasperated is a long-suffering space he lives in often.
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Interrogating Bryce

I'm not going to repeat too much of Az's characterization via Bryce when we've already gone through it, but we do see it via her POV:

His hazel eyes held nothing but cold, predatory alertness.
HOFAS Ch 1

We finally, finally**, get a confirmation moment regarding Truth Teller:**

Silence. Then the silent, hazel-eyed warrior laughed quietly. How had he understood without Rhysand translating? . . .
The warrior spoke . . . Rhysand glanced at him with raised brows, then translated for Bryce . . . "You're lying."
. . . "I just watched my mate and brother get captured . . . I have no interest in doing anything except finding a way to help them."
Rhysand looked to the warrior, who nodded, not taking his gaze off Bryce for so much as a blink.
"Well," Rhysand said . . . "That's true at least."
HOFAS Ch 1

Just like Damaris in TOG is the Sword of Truth and the bearer can sense the truth when wielding it, SJM friends, I am here to say: Truth Teller can do that, too.
If you're interested in maybe HOW that came to be, see #7 on THIS post.
Before all this "sensing lies" business, it was easy to assume, "Oh, Azriel named his dagger Truth Teller because when he starts carving up the skin of his enemies, they start pouring out their secrets real quick."
Azriel even jokes at that here (a joke! I swear, our Shadowsinger has got some good sarcastic humor chops):

"It's called Truth-Teller . . . "
"So does it . . . tell the truth?"
A hint of a smile, more chilling than the frigid air around them. "It gets people to do so."
Bryce . . . caught Nesta rolling her eyes.
HOFAS Ch 12

I think Truth-Teller, quite literally, reveals to one the truth.
AND WHAT DO WE SO DESPERATELY WANT THE TRUTH OF?
Whether Azriel and Eris are mates.
Is this how Azriel maybe possibly learns that he and Eris are mated in ACOSF? Does he confirm it with Rhys via his dagger? I really, really don't hate the idea of it.
-----------------

HOFAS Bonus Chapter

Bryce peppers Nesta and Azriel with questions:

Bryce asked Nesta, “You have a mate, right?” She nodded to Azriel.
“Do you?”
“No,” Azriel said quickly, flatly.
“A partner or spouse?”
“No.”

If only we'd been given a little snippet like "Truth-Teller pulsed" as Azriel answered these questions, we could have drawn theories that the dagger was sensing lies, but alas—we were not so lucky.
Bryce sighs with Azriel's non-forthcomingness:

“Okay, then.”
Azriel’s wings twitched. “You’re incurably nosy.”
. . . Bryce winked at him. “Look, I just . . . I’m curious. Aren’t you?”
Azriel didn’t answer, but Nesta said, “Yes. We are.”

The first time I read this, I interpreted Nesta's response as: Yes, we are just as curious about you, Bryce, as you are about us.
Then a friend texted me her interpretation: Yes, we (the IC) are just as curious about Az's potential partnespouse/mate, too.
I'll take Option Number 2 for $500, Alex.
Azriel tells Bryce that while they aren't the bad guys:

“You can do good,” Azriel warned, “while still being bad.”

Az has a lot of feelings regarding his own actions, as we see back in his ACOSF bonus chapter with Elain, where he remarks on his "sullied" hands.
I'm hoping this outlook—the good yet bad coexisting—will be extended to any of his changing viewpoints surrounding Eris.
Nesta asks Az how his dealt with the concept of immortality . . . of existing for centuries:

He was quiet for a moment before saying, “Find people you love—they make the time pass quickly.”

This is obviously in reference to the IC and his friends, but it does hit you in the feels when, again, you recall that ACOSF bonus chapter and how he can't stop the jealous feelings of his two brothers having found their own mates while he is still alone.
Az teases Nesta about having children:

“Raised by a terrible mother, remember?”
“Doesn’t mean you’ll be one,” Azriel said gently.

Just like Az isn't a terrible male, despite being raised by a terrible father. Just like Eris isn't/won't always be a terrible male, despite still living with and being tortured by, his terrible sire.
Nesta asks if they can listen to more music on Bryce's phone, and Az makes a request:

. . . [T]he male answered a bit sheepishly, “The music you play at your pleasure halls.”
Bryce laughed. “Are you a club rat, Azriel?”
He glowered at her . . . [but] as the three of them walked into the endless dark, she could have sworn she caught Azriel nodding along to the beat . . .
And with each mile onward, she could hear Azriel humming softly to himself . . . and she could have sworn even the shadows danced at the sound.

Are we going to see Az hitting it up in some clubs down the road? Does he have his own secret club he visits? After all, it took Mor centuries to convince him to go to Rita's. But I'm excited to see what lies in store for this little fascinating tidbit.
-----------------

Conclusion:

I perused SO many Azris posts, comments, blogs, fan art, etc, and all of these lovely SJM enthusiasts need the proper shout-out:
u/Timevian

• Coined the BEAUTIFUL phrase: Eris is a dreamer, but there are no stars in his world.
• Has several posts and comments throughout Reddit detailing Azris connections, one particularly fantastic one being Eris Vanserra. A disseration.

futurehunt on Tumblr

• Brought to my attention some delightfully naughty tidbits that would play into SJM's "freak in bed" comment: the gag of fire Eris uses on Feyre, Helion saying Az choking out Eris will be his new "fantasy" at night.
• Also brought to my attention the easy-to-overlook northern flank scene in ACOWAR, plus the possibility of Eris/Az being involved in the Blood Duel from Az's ACOSF bonus chapter.
• Some of their absolutely wonderful Azris/Eris posts: Eris Vanserra and his hidden motives, Eris in ACOSF, Eris in ACOWAR

u/Whenitsajar

• Brought to my attention Az's "preference for swordplay" dialogue in ACOSF. Because I mean—come on. If you wanna know what SJM foreshadowing looks like, it's THAT, my friends.

ellyness5 on IG

• Commissioned by raissabguedes to create the artwork (seen HERE) that became the literal catalyst for sending me down this whole crackship journey and remains my favorite Azris fan art to date.

-----------------
If you'd like to see a fun video with my sister's reaction to the Azriel x Eris debate, click HERE

I don't like the new layout of Reddit at all. Settings like Classic/Compact, Hot/New etc. do not stick. Discussion are less clear etc.
What's confusing is that the layout that we had until a few months ago has a url that starts with 'new.reddit.com'. While the current (new) layout starts with just www.reddit.com'.
Until now I just constantly manually changed the url from www.reddit.com to new.reddit.com, but today I discovered there are browser extensions that do the work for you.

• Extension 'Redirect Web for Safari' for Safari (not only for Reddit)
• Extension 'Old New Reddit Redirect' for Firefox.
• Extension 'Reddit UI Redirector' for Chrome-based browsers like Brave.

Edit: Similar to the more universal 'Redirect Web for Safari' for Safari, there's another extension called 'Redirector' for Firefox and Chrome-based browsers. (with thanks to u/AlexFullmoon)
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