Tube gals arizona

San Francisco 49ers: For all things red and gold!

2009.12.15 21:22 timberspine San Francisco 49ers: For all things red and gold!

A community for fans of the San Francisco 49ers. Go Niners!
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2015.08.02 01:23 Kerow Injury Reserve

Injury Reserve is a rap trio hailing from Arizona comprised of producer Parker Corey and emcees Ritchie with a T and Stepa J. Groggs.
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2020.05.14 22:47 devinroling DevinRoling

The Subreddit about YouTube's Devin Roling, by YouTube's Devin Roling. •Supernatural Sunday - Paranormal posts •Music Monday - Music related things •Trippy Tuesday - Trippy pics •Wilderness Wednesday - Pics of nature •Thicc Thursday - Pics of thicc gals •Frightening Friday - Scary things •sci-fi Saturday - Snything sci-fi related
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2024.05.14 01:30 Mizzno [H] Games [W] Cornucopia, Headbangers: Rhythm Royale, art of rally, Games (Listed Below), Steam Gift Cards

N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.
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For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
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For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
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WANT:
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IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/
submitted by Mizzno to indiegameswap [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 21:58 ObjectivePrinciple56 babygal seeking advice

Hello 🎀 I never use Reddit, but I wanted to connect with other gals and stumbled across this subreddit. I’m fairly new to gyaru fashion, and I feel like I've become completely obsessed. I adore it and all gals stand for. My favorites are agejo, hime, as well as himekaji. I wanted to know if there was anything else I could do to fully educate myself, as I want to do everything I can before I actively start participating in the culture. I’ve read up on the history (either from watching YouTube videos or from HelloLizzieBee’s blog) and the different subcultures within gyaru. I’ve also been reading through magazines (egg, Vanilla, Popteen, Kilala, etc.) to study the makeup and hairstyles. I’ve started doing my nails and DIYing my wardrobe (as brand names are expensive). I also attempted to do my makeup for the first time, which was not that great lol, but anyways, is there anything else I can do or that you guys found helpful when you were baby gals? My heart literally races whenever I think about going out in full gyaru, and it feels like something i’ve been missing and i’ve finally found it ? Overall, I don’t want to be disrespectful or ignorant, especially to the gals that came before me. I hope this isn’t too long, and thank you so much in advance <3 :]
submitted by ObjectivePrinciple56 to actualgyaru [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 20:23 OaklandOnSteam Mobile Mechanic?

I moved to oregon city not long ago. I began dating a gal I worked w/at a Chipotle. She stays in her van and has 3 dogs. Her alternator took a dump, I've been allowing her to stay here temporarily until it can get fixed. We broke up. She has a new alternator, and it just needs put into the vehicle. It is a 2009 Honda Odessey. VIN # is 5FNRL38689B045405 .
Truthfully, this is a situation everyone involved needs resolved. Tensions have been running high and without trying to put all the drama out there.. Is there anyone who'd be willing to check into doing this as a job for some cash? None of us that live here, or her, can pay $600-900 for this. But maybe $200-300 ?
In any case, we could attempt ourselves I just wouldn't want to fuck things up in a worse way as none of us are mechanically inclined lol. It'd be a lot of YouTube videos and hoping for the best.
submitted by OaklandOnSteam to OregonCity [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 19:41 TypewriterTypeWrote [SF] 'Diamonds' Part 3 (Part of the 'Human Nature' series)

PART 3

Max woke in the night to a plinking sound. He had fallen asleep crying over Scat, treat bag and collar on the table in full view. His eyes were blurry and sore, his nose was runny and sore and the nature channel was his distraction. Ruth was letting off a lovely glow and it warmed him to think of Scat so lovingly curled around her, day in and day out. He let out an almost-sob. He didn’t want to give her back. Didn’t want to wake up.
Eventually Max pried one eye open and surveyed the room. TV still on, duvet still over him, the floor wasn’t wet and the ceiling wasn’t leaking, so where was the…
Plink.
Ruth.
Max sighed and rolled over, the duvet making a break for the floor before being dejectedly scooped up again and deposited back across his lap. The small cloud of Scat’s fur wafted off the floorboards and turned Max’s heart. He contemplated going back to the escape of sleep, but finally sat and rubbed his eyes, held his aching head in his hands for a moment and, dropping his hands and lolling his head back, Ruth came into focus. The central glass disc that she had made like a rosette for herself had grown, bloated out. It looked a bit like a tortoise shell, glittery and iridescent and very Ruth, except now, it had…
“Diamonds!” Max yelped, miraculously fully awake.
There, underneath the bulbous disc was a tiny pile of painfully perfect diamonds, so exuberant in colour they seemed almost alive. He could see clean through the pile itself each one was so clear, with a miniature rainbow refracted inside. They were scattered across the table and he realised they were dropping from all over the glass tubes, the largest ones plinking from the central disc.
“Holy cow! What the hell, Ruth! This is amazing! I mean, how did you do that?”
Ruth plinked another diamond from the disc, meanwhile the bobbing gyroscopic mass that had accumulated in the disc decided to bob itself towards Max and answer him with a spiral of flashes and disco lights.
“You really are a crazy, crazy little thing, you know that?” he asked, picking up a diamond and examining it against Ruth’s emitted light show. He threw his t-shirt across the table top and spread the diamonds out on it. There must have been fifteen of them, simply perfect and all different shapes to each other, irregular and yet symmetrical.
Max collapsed into the dining chair next to the table.
Why did they happen today? Why now of all days? It had been nearly a week since he was entrusted with Ruth and she seemed pretty stable up till yesterday. She had grown that diamond factory bulge that reminded him of a tortoise, yes, but now it almost looked like an expensive, old-fashioned sweet dispenser that you get in the bowling alley or in the shopping centres in posh areas. The kind they stuck between the raised beds of fake forest-looking plants in the food court, the kind that were there to tempt the kids after their unfulfilling and unappreciated fast-food dine-outs but used all your pocket money for one jaw-breaker.
Max tried to backtrack. What had he done differently? If he could figure it out, maybe he could persuade Ruth to make more diamonds… his friend would never have to know, he could get Scat a little headstone, and if he could figure out how it worked he could reverse it so there wouldn’t even be any evidence. No, his friend would surely know. Max could save a few diamonds and give them to him and say she just started… have to work out the details later. First things first.
“So, Ruth. Why are you giving me these little nuggets of joy, huh? What did I do to warrant this spectacle?” He talked to Ruth, but she didn’t respond. No movement, just the usual swirling around. Max watched the glass disc closely through his puffy eyes but couldn’t see where the diamonds fell from, nor anything that would suggest a factory line of compressed carbon was in progress. She seemed to be slowing down.
Max pressed his brows together, then slowly lifted the fern up onto the table again. This was the only thing different. The bamboo was outside and Scat was…
A wave of horror flooded over Max. He launched himself out of his chair and sprinted to the window and, ripping back the voile, he saw the bamboo had grown six feet over night. He knew it grew fast from watching that documentary about tropical rainforests but this was a stretch too far. Much too far. That damned thing hadn’t grown in years…
“Ruth,” he said turning to her, “what did you do?”

For the next few hours, Max observed Ruth from across the room. The discovery channel was on in the background, as always. Ruth didn’t seem to do much without it these days but for a hunk of glittery glass and brass Max supposed not much was interesting unless it moved or had nothing whatsoever to do with man-made things. Suited him just fine. Who needs politics anyway?
Apparently, Ruth had taken it upon herself to make the fern shrivel up and increase her diamond production, much to Max’s exuberant happiness and overwhelming horror. He shoved the sofa to the far end of the room and started putting all his household plants in the spaces between the table and himself. The kitchen herbs went first.
He had taken one of the diamonds down to the swanky precious stone and metal specialist at the posh end of town (his name was Horace, apparently,) and had it valued. He took extreme pleasure in watching the man’s face freeze in wonder at the rock placed before him. I’ve never seen such a stone, Horace said. Never seen such a clear, colourful, perfect stone in my life, Horace said. It’s phenomenal, Horace said. Where did you get it, Horace asked. I inherited it, Max lied. It’s worth a fortune, Horace said. Thank you, I’ll have it back now, Max said. He made sure to stop by the garden centre on his way home.

The front room was a sea of plants. Max waded through them, deciding that a walkway to the door would be a vital escape route that shouldn’t be compromised, in case Ruth decided she had been on her vegetarian stint for long enough. Max had toyed with the idea of getting a fish tank or some other living creature to put next to her as a safeguard but he promptly remembered Scat and nearly broke down on the shop floor in front of the display tanks. Besides, the plants were working! There was already a multitude of stacks of plastic pots and trays next to the front door ready for recycling, and all the withered remains of whatever the pots had housed was scattered along the borders amongst the dog daisies and tulips. Ruth was putting out a considerable amount of stonage these days. Max bought an old bank safe online. It was currently sat in the hallway because that’s as far in as the two couriers could lift the thing, and there was no way on god’s green earth that Max was going to let them into the front room and risk them getting curious. The safe was only waist-high and wasn’t too ugly, so the hallway it was.
Max carefully spun the dial clockwise, anti-clockwise, clockwise again, on and on, muttering under his breath as he read from the bit of paper he guiltily kept in his pocket alongside his friend’s contact details. He used his whole bodyweight to wrench open the door and deposit the load of diamonds in a mason jar, nestled it in next to its siblings that were already full and stacked up there. He had set up a system of small tubs under the hotspots for diamonds drops and his favourite whiskey glass under the place where the large diamonds fell. He emptied them regularly, always aware that someone might knock on the door, he might need to pee or Scat might need to go outside (no, poor thing, he was there already). His kitchen was full of boxes of new mason jars and his lounge was full of plants, like some weird meth lab. A thrill of fear swept down Max’s back and up through his throat looking at all those jars, heavy with precious stones. He knew the smallest one alone would make him a disgustingly wealthy man. Horace had confirmed it.
Two days later, and there was no more space in the safe. Nowhere else to put those little rocks. Max decided to give Ruth a break, let her rest while he decided what to do next. He couldn’t have a house full of safes, his friend would already think it was weird that the one in the hallway appeared out of nowhere. Max put a coffee table over it, covered it with a tablecloth and some old bank statements, throwing on a phone charger for authenticity.
He had taken to talking to Ruth while the documentaries were on, she seemed to like that. He had been taking daily trips to the garden centre and leaving with a fully loaded car, right up until they looked at him suspiciously (he was a renowned leave-it-to-the-bugs kind of gardener; after years of failed attempts at keeping his plants alive and fruitless efforts of the garden centre employees to dispense advice he could keep to), so he started frequenting other nurseries as well.
Today, he was going to figure out how Ruth did it. He had to know. In his mind it was the equivalent of finding out how the Egyptians built the pyramids (because it obviously wasn’t aliens,) and the fact that even his friend didn’t know what this thing could do was something altogether more impressive! He may well have created it, but it was Max who had realised Ruth’s full potential, it was Max who had figured out the process, it was Max who had discovered the balance of life and death. Nobody could take that from him. But to really put the boot in, he wanted to know how.
“Come on, Ruthy, tell me how you do it. Let me see you do it, just once.” Max waited for a response. There was none. Then…
Plink.
He had seen! He knew now! Ha!
“Yes! That’s it! That’s the ticket! I knew it, old gal, this is going to be such an epic day! I can’t wait to see their faces, suck on THAT!”
Max jumped, air-punched and whirled around the front room, ecstatic in his discovery. Never again would they look down on him! Never again would they look at him like he was an idiot because he couldn’t get the printer to print on both sides of the paper, they wouldn’t reject him, the girls would think he was funny, he was going to be filthy rich, he could save the world! He, Max, was all powerful.
Oh yes. That’s what I’m talking about.
submitted by TypewriterTypeWrote to u/TypewriterTypeWrote [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 15:50 SuBliminalVibrations Earnings Drop...

Earnings Drop... submitted by SuBliminalVibrations to GalWithNoPlan [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 09:09 Wulfy51 Arizona Hooch

Arizona Hooch
Ngl I love the taste of Arizona Green Tea before and after fermentation. Have any of yall fermented any other Arizona flavors before? And did it taste any good? Ive only ever fermented the Green Tea flavor, and was thinking of trying to make some hooch outta the Sweet Tea flavor, but I heard it doesn’t taste as good
submitted by Wulfy51 to prisonhooch [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 07:42 Wanderslost 50 Gallon Aquarium to a Crested Gecko Home.

50 Gallon Aquarium to a Crested Gecko Home.
I made a post here about something else, and some people were curious about my set up. It didn't occur to me that I was doing anything unusual. I think I have been keeping herps longer than specialized things like labeled crested gecko habitats have been available. I was also desperately poor for much of my life. I'm not now, but I am still a scrounger.
I actually have not bought a herp in many years. Before this, I was caring for animals other people did not want for... wow... over 20 years. Skosha's enclosure was built from Fluffy's stuff, the beardie before him (Socks), and even tree frog stuff from before that. (50 gal tank was the standard at the time for beardies, it is 75 gal now) had to buy some stuff, but mostly Skosha's habitat was built with what I had on hand.
When my last beardie, Fluffy, died of old age, I started pouring through the internet to figure out what to get next. I had narrowed it down to vampire crabs or rough green snakes. Then my friend needed to rehome the lizard now know as Skosha.
Here is a breakdown of my set up:
Pic 1: not much to say here. Most of these fake plants were bought for this project. There is a 16 dollar starter pack on Amazon. I highly recommend it and it make up about a third of the fake plants seen here. The main mass of reddish leaves are zipped tied to the grape wood basking spot from my beardies. You can probably make out that I siliconed a lot of food bowls and other furniture to the sides as perches for Skosha. Most of these were given to me through various adoptions, as was the tank itself. At the bottom is a feature made from a large cornsnake soak glued to a smaller water bowl. I put an eight of an inch of water in there so Skosha can cool if it gets too hot. It evaporates ever couple days. Skosha's feeding station is a shallow water bowl (flat bottom.) His food is served on Pringles lids and his water dish is a 2 liter cap.
Pic 2: Under all this stuff is a screen cover that folds to open. I was worried that this would be a pain on the ass, but it opens easily. I thinks the thick blanket I have under the tank helps even out pressure points. The white areas are terrarium background I got online. I expected it to be vinyl, but it is some sort of thread reinforced paper. That is why there is a stain from the mister. It is holding up fine, though.
The white light fixture is a uvb tube light from my beardies. I'm not using it yet. I need a bulb and timer. It may look like there is not much ventilation on the one open side, but that fixture allows air to move freely. The uvb is hung by bolts through the screen.
The thermostat is hung by a bolt through the screen and balsa wood. The wire going through the top corner is the probe. I should have gotten a slightly different one, (with pulse voltage), but this one is fine.
The black lamp is a 100 watt ceramic emitter. I think this is overkill, and will get a smaller one in the future. It is attached by trapping it vertically with three bolts, with washers to keep it from falling away from the cage. This heating element is, again, from my beardies. If the target temps were higher, this lamp would be a fire hazard. But it is fine for this. I put a little foil above it to dissipate heat. Just to be safe. I wasn't sure if this heating situation would work, but it has. The tank heats pretty evenly, and Skosha likes to sleep hanging in a plant that catches the heat rising off the fixture.
You probably can't see it, but the mister hose runs through the screen next to the lamp. I bought it for this project. I use a plain vase to hold the water. Getting the humidity right too some trial and error. I ended up covering a lot more of the open side of the aquarium than I thought I would.
Pic 3: This just shows most of the siliconed furniture and my back up thermometer and hygrometer. The big rectangle is the base of my beardies basking limb. This has really worked out, and is where Skosha spends much of his time. The bark hollows (3) have been a success as perches an sleeping spots. Currently, I am using straight moss substrate. I planned on adding coconut fiber, but it seems fine the way it is.
Now that everything is balanced out, I am going to add some panels that will make the outside of the terrarium look nicer. Someday.
I'm not a crested gecko expert. My first impression is they seem like tree frogs, but easier. That said, my set up seems to meet all the parameters. I don't feel qualified to recommend it, but it is working for me.
submitted by Wanderslost to CrestedGecko [link] [comments]

2024.05.13 01:40 wolfwatcher81 Almost died because of hospital. Do I have a case for malpractice?

(43 M) 200 lbs Type 1 diabetes, Arizona.
Last October I had my 14th foot surgery while admitted to the hospital. Went under general anesthesia during the surgery. They said everything went well and was sent home a few days later.
8 hours later I was back in the ER with low oxygen saturation and chest pain. They did a chest x-ray and chest MRI. Got admitted for hospital caused pneumonia (there words).
My oxygen saturation kept getting worse, so respiratory kept having to up things more and more. During one of the respiratory treatments I coughed up a piece of plastic from my lungs about he size of a large piece of rice. I spit it into a Kleenex looked at it and was bloody piece of plastic, I assume it's from being under general anesthesia and having a plastic tube being placed in my airway.
After I handed it to respiratory, he took it out of the room and threw it away.
My CO2 levels kept going up so I was moved to ICU and eventually intubated for 4 days but was awake and able to write the whole time. I did sleep some. This was because the pain meds I take on a daily basis made the drugs to knock me out not work very well.
So do I have a case here? If you need more information please ask. I also got a copy of the MRI DVD and the medical records.
Thanks in advance,
Brian
submitted by wolfwatcher81 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2024.05.12 17:20 ChaosReignUnderUs Matchday Thread: All Games 5/12 (May 12th)

NISA

Time (Eastern Time) Home Away Link Match Thread
7:00 PM Club de Lyon FC Maryland Bobcats FC Link Thread
9:00 PM Arizona Monsoon FC Los Angeles Force Link Thread

NISA Nation

Time (Eastern Time) Home Away Link
9:00 PM Laguna FCM Silicon Valley Rush -
9:00 PM Modesto City FC Afghan Premier FC -

Eastern Premier Soccer League

Time (Eastern Time) Home Away Link
4:00 PM Central Park Rangers FC KidSuper Samba AC -
5:00 PM NY Greek Americans NY Athletic Club Link
5:00 PM Salone FC Alloy Soccer Club -
6:00 PM Philadelphia Soccer Club Inter Vidas -
8:00 PM Doxa FCW Hoboken FC 1912 -
8:00 PM Real Central NJ Soccer Oaklyn United FC GameInFrame
8:00 PM Baltimore City FC VA Marauders FC -
8:00 PM NY Pancyprian Freedoms Zum Schneider FC 03 GameInFrame
9:00 PM Suffolk County FC SC Vistula Garfield suffolkcountyfootballclub on YouTube

Southwest Premier League

Time (Eastern Time) Home Away Link
12:00 PM IRVINE FC AYSD D1 ACADEMY RED -
1:00 PM ATLAS FC SOUTH BAY AMSG ELITE -
2:00 PM WORLDWIDE PROBLEMS FC LOBOS FC -
submitted by ChaosReignUnderUs to NISA [link] [comments]

2024.05.12 17:05 subredditsummarybot Your weekly /r/MusicThemeTime roundup for the week of May 05 - May 11, 2024

Sunday, May 05 - Saturday, May 11, 2024

Top Posts

score comments title & link
16 1 comments [Steve Albini] May 9: Steve Albini
13 0 comments [Symphonies] The Supremes - I Hear A Symphony
12 0 comments [Symphonies] The Specials - The Skinhead Symphony
11 0 comments [Places You've Been] Bad Brains - Banned in D.C.
10 0 comments [Body Parts] Neil Young - Heart of Gold (Official Audio) - YouTube
10 0 comments [Body Parts] Frank Zappa - Stink-Foot
10 0 comments [Places You've Been] The Clash - London Calling
9 0 comments [Music about Mom] Pink Floyd - Mother
9 0 comments [Music about Mom] Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show ~ "Sylvia's Mother"
9 4 comments [Music for Mom] Mom's Music
9 0 comments [Film noir] Miles Davis - Ascenseur pour l'échafaud - Lift to the Gallows (Full Album)
9 1 comments [Whispering] The Romantics - What I Like About You
9 0 comments [Steve Albini] Joanna Newsom - "Emily"
9 1 comments [Steve Albini] Pixies · Gigantic (producer - Surfer Rosa)
9 0 comments [Steve Albini] Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box (producer - In Utero)
 

Most Commented Posts

score comments title & link
4 7 comments [Places You've Been] Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan
7 5 comments [Places You've Been] Glenn Miller - I've got a Gal in Kalamazoo
6 4 comments [Symphonies] The Rolling Stones - Symphony For The Devil
3 2 comments [Steve Albini] Flat Worms – Plaster Casts (Antarctica)
6 2 comments [Body Parts] Big Black - Fists of Love
 
submitted by subredditsummarybot to Musicthemetime [link] [comments]

2024.05.12 08:59 Milkykage 23F looking for lasting friends pls 🥺

Hiiii everyone 👋😌
I’m looking for lasting friendships where we can talk about drama, play video games, and be crackheads together 😋
A little about me I’m 23F and happily married. My only friend rn is my husband 🤣 I like video games, art, crafting, anime, YouTube, cosplay, make up, and metal music. I have a dark but also childish sense of humor too if that matters 💀
I have a PC, PS4, Xbox, and switch so I can play with literally anyone anywhere 😬 some games I regular are Minecraft, Roblox, Genshin, Fortnite, and FFXIV Online. I have tons of games tho and always open to trying new games!
I’m neurodivergent and socially awkward so pls be open to me sucking at talking at first then being a complete weirdo 🤗
Guys, Gals, whoever can DM but if you’re gonna be nasty stay tf away please I’m not interested.👹
I’d like to talk on discord too if you can cuz Reddit chats are glitchy asf 👍 thx bye smellies 🫣
submitted by Milkykage to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]

2024.05.12 08:47 Very_Stressed4586 Water filtration vacuum or wet dry vac for mites?

Hoping to get an expert opinion about this. I have a severe mite infestation which requires me to dust borax powder and baking soda on my carpet. We have three storeys so the daily vacuuming of these powders is totally ruining our Simplicity S20EZM and our very old Shark bagless vacuum. We're required to wipe down and sanitize the vacuums and clean out the bristles and wands/tubes to ensure no mites get stuck or escape.
I've heard people have better luck with longevity with their Rainbows or senyolink 3 in 1 wet/dry vacuum. These aren't readily available to us in Canada and I'm needing one asap so I'm currently considering the DeWalt 4 HP 5-Gal Wet/Dry Portable Vacuum, the Stanley 6 Gallon Wet/Dry Vacuum, 4.0 Horsepower, 6.0 Gallon, 22.7L, and the CRAFTSMAN 120 V 5-Gal. 3 HP Corded Portable Wet/Dry Shop Vacuum. Reviews aren't great but they're affordable and I'm likely to burn thru them quick. I'll be needing something I can vacuum the above mentioned powders with multiple times a day, and which can handle wet carpet (might be treating the carpet as well with a miticide), and that I can wipe down and perhaps clean the wand/entry and exit points regularly. I've read on the other posts that water filtration vacuums can get moldy quick so I'd appreciate any insight into what I need to do to avoid this.
Thanks everyone in advance for your time -- if you have other suggestions that better meet my needs (but won't break the bank and which isn't more than $400), please do share!
submitted by Very_Stressed4586 to VacuumCleaners [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 23:20 DCAbloob YouTube: Arizona Rattlers at Tucson Sugar Skills (5/11/24)

submitted by DCAbloob to IndoorFootball [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 23:19 DCAbloob YouTube: Bay Area Panthers at Northern Arizona Wranglers (5/11/24)

submitted by DCAbloob to IndoorFootball [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 15:43 PlasmaShovel Needle in The Haystack 13

It's been hard to find time to write this past week, but I'm chugging along, however sluggish. I also want to give a huge thanks to u/icallshogun for telling me how to use new-old reddit, because it's already saved me a bunch of time posting this single chapter.
I have a bad habit of last minute editing before I post chapters. I'll usually go over once or twice and switch up a few things. I didn't this time. Why am I telling you this? No idea. Enjoy.
A little PSA: if the next chapter button is missing, it's most likely in the comments (either that, or the next chapter isn't out yet), because sometimes reddit likes to say posts are more than 40k even when they aren't, making them impossible to edit. I just had this problem adding the link to chapter 12.
Many thanks to u/SpacePaladin for making NoP!
Prev -First- Next
------------------------------
Chapter 13: A million miles away
- Memory Transcription Subject: Arlene Brandy, Human Refugee
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 20th, 2136
The refugee center crested the horizon, with UN banners draped from the second story, and signs marking some of the nearby buildings as temporary housing. I wondered how exactly they convinced people to hand over entire buildings for use. One of them wasn’t even an apartment building, it was offices.
There were more humans around, of course, with the venlil population extremely sparse, only a few brave enough to be anywhere near the ‘den’. I grabbed the door, and opened it, revealing the main lobby, which to my utter surprise, had a venlil at the desk along with a human.
It feels so weird to point out when people are human or not, but that’s just how it is now. I ambled towards the pair, keeping my movements slow and calculated, not to scare the guy. He noticed, and let out a chuckle.
“No need to worry about me ma’am. I’m quite used to humans by now.”
I relaxed, blushing a little. “That makes sense.”
“What do you need?” The venlil asked.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to get one of those datapads. I have family at home I need to get in touch with.”
“And you are?”
“Arlene Brandy.”
“Uh huh.” He clicked at the computer for a moment. “Well, you’re a little late to the party. We just got five hundred or so new residents, so we’re out of new pads, but I’m sure you can find someone willing to let you borrow theirs.”
“Shit.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. You’re staying at Golden Ridge apartment 113, correct?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’ll have one sent to your door when we get a new shipment.”
“Thank you.” I turned to leave.
“Wait, we wont get more for a few paws yet. Why don’t you try asking to use someone else’s?”
I turned back around to the desk. “Can I use yours?”
"Sorry, mine doesn’t connect to the Earth networks.”
“Shit.”
“Please try not to swear so much, there are children around.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
The guy at the desk was so comfortable around me that it started making me uncomfortable. While the human at the desk didn’t even register me. I bet he was playing solitaire.
I entered the common room. People ambled, walked, teetered, and even ran around, from door to door and table to table. Seating was plentiful, but there weren’t any free spots, because the place was so packed. There really were a lot of them. Refugees, I mean. This was only a tiny fraction too.
How many more? Is there an end to it?
I searched for someone to approach, but found nothing. Everyone was grieving. I didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to know it was there. My stomach turned in a horrible spiral, and I soon found myself bent over a toilet, ejecting breakfast. I was drooling over the bowl like a rabid dog, eyes watering and legs quaking. My diaphragm expelled one last gust of air, in a horrible coughing fit that lasted uncomfortably long.
I don’t know how I found the bathroom without help, it wasn’t marked very well. I’ve always been good at that sort of thing I guess, whatever ‘that sort of thing’ is.
On my way out, I washed my hands twice, not that it made a difference. The common room was still full of chatter and sobbing, quiet and boisterous both in their own right.
A man in a dress shirt sat alone at a table with his head in his hands. A mother cradled a baby in her arms, rocking him to sleep. In the corner of the room sat a group of people sitting on the ground playing monopoly. A boy ate a droopy sandwich next to a parent, munching listlessly. They all looked so tired. So tired that it could suck the breath right back out of you.
At one of the tables was a man with burns on his arms, and another bandaging him up. He winced when the bandages touched the splotches where blisters used to be, dry and scabbed. There was a good chance the burns were inflicted on purpose, by them. Monsters.
He locked eyes with me, his empty like all the rest. My head jerked away, embarrassment on my face like dye, the mask doing little to hide my frenzied posture. I power walked to another part of the room, behind a group of people conversing. I took off my coat so I wouldn’t overheat in the stuffy room… and also to blend into the crowd.
Staring at burn victims? What is wrong with you?
I looked down at myself. My boots were brown, my pants were black, and my shirt was as well, with a picture of an album cover on the front. My hands were twitchy, and my arm was still bandaged. I could’ve, should’ve lost the dressings by then, but I hadn’t got around to it. I put my coat back on
Since I wasn’t getting anywhere, I decided to take a trip down the hallways, into the dorms, where it was less crowded.
Down the halls, past a few turns, was an open door, with warm light spilling out, and cheerful discussion taking place inside. Taking a peek, I saw a group of 3 people, one of whom was a venlil, playing cards. The funny thing, is it was one of those grungy decks with pictures of naked ladies on them. Well, I don’t know if it was funny, but it stuck with me.
“Hello?” Spoke the venlil.
The other heads turned in my direction. I was discovered. A pang of cold crawled through my spine.
“O-oh, hi.” I tried and failed to act like I hadn’t been watching them for several seconds.
“Hey there, are you one of the new arrivals?” Asked the girl sitting next to the venlil.
“Uh, no, I’ve just been living in a different spot.”
“No wonder you look like shit.” Spoke a middle aged guy with scars. There was an ankle monitor on his leg, though I certainly wasn’t going to question him about it.
“Ben! Don’t be rude.” The girl replied.
“I’m not being rude. We all look like shit. Some of us are shit right now.” Ben mumbled.
“Well you don’t have to be so nihilistic about it.” She turned back to me. “Wanna join us? We could use a fourth.”
“No thanks. I’m trying to get in touch with my family.”
"Well if they’re here, I can find them. I know everyone here.” Said the girl, with a big grin.
"They’re on Earth. I just need to use someone’s datapad. The guy at the desk said we were out of new ones.”
“Did you break yours?”
A nervous laugh escaped me. It felt so weird to have a normal conversation. The last time I talked to a human was only a few days ago, but it felt much longer. Years maybe… or not. My shoulders felt tight, probably from the extra weight. I swallowed a lump that had been growing in my throat since leaving Earth, and my stomach got heavier as a result.
What did she lose?
I cleared my throat. “N-no, I never got one in the first place.”
“Well, no worries. You can use mine if you want. I’m Taylor by the way.” She smiled.
I didn’t smile back. The mask would’ve hidden it anyway. “Thanks. I’m Arlene.”
She handed me the weird alien phone, which I soon realized I didn’t know how to use.
The venlil piped up. “Want me to do it for you?” He stood up.
“Yes please.” I handed him the datapad.
He started tapping away at the device. “These things are super outdated. The interface is really clunky, especially the UN comms.”
I loomed over his shoulder, watching him type in a bunch of stuff into text boxes. “You have to login to make calls?”
“No, this is just the path the call will be taking. Where are you calling?”
“Wisconsin.”
“Where is that?”
“North America.”
*“*Okay, there we go.” He handed the datapad back to me. “Just type in the phone number and you’re good to go.”
“Thanks.” I started punching in the number.
“No problem. I’ve had to do it for Taylor a million times by now.” He chuckled.
“Hey, I know how to do it now!” She replied.
“Then why didn’t you show her how?”
Taylor snorted. “Because then you wouldn’t be useful anymore, and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Whatever you say.” He flicked his tail.
“Hey, enough with the snarky tail language.” She crossed her arms.
“What did he say?” Ben asked.
“He said I was a goober.”
I looked up from the datapad. “You have a tail sign for ‘goober’?”
“Of course we do, why wouldn’t we?” He shrugged.
Ben raised his eyebrows, and Taylor laughed. I was still wearing the mask.
"Hey, do you mind if I uh… you know.” I pointed to my face.
“Oh please, you couldn’t possibly be uglier than Taylor.”
“You better be careful Talnek. You’d get a beating if you insulted a lady where I come from.” Ben stated.
Taylor punched Ben in the shoulder. “He’s just messing!”
I removed the mask, and set it down on a table. “Is it alright if I make the call outside?”
“Sure, as long as you don’t manage to brick the thing.” Talnek said, sitting back down at his cards with a snicker.
Taylor shot him a dirty look.
“Thanks again Taylor.”
She grinned like a little kid. “No prob bob!”
I stepped into the hallway, holding the datapad up to my face, and pressed the call button.
It rang.
And rang.
And rang…
Until the display lit up with the face of my dad. My lips curled up in a smile.
“Hey dad.”
“Ope!” He flinched, then grinned. “Hey there sweetie. Havin’ fun up in space?”
“Nevermind that! Are you guys okay? Did Luke make it back alright?”
“Oh we’re doing fine yet. Luke got discharged because of injuries. He got pretty banged up in a crash, but he’s alright.”
“Is mom around?”
"Sorry kiddo, she’s out of town getting gas for the generators.”
My eyes widened. “Generators? Is the power out? Have you been able to get dialysis?”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh don’t worry yourself. We’ve got diesel running the place.”
My hands left marks of sweat on the device. “You are getting your blood cleaned, right?”
“Yes, I am. Even if I wasn’t, your pa’s still got some fight left in ‘em.” He patted his bicep.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Jesus dad, you had me worried for a second there.”
He chuckled. “Don’t be. Try to have fun up there. No use worrying about somewhere you’re not.”
A sigh escaped me. “I’ll try.”
“That’s my girl! How are the aliens treating ya?”
I frowned. “Well, if I’m being honest, most of them are assholes.”
“That so?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve met a few that don’t mind me, but I can count them on one hand.”
“Well that’s better than nothing, ain’t it?” He raised an eyebrow in a joking manner.
I smiled a little. “I guess so.”
“So, tell me about these nice aliens then.”
“Sure- Hold on, is Luke there?”
“He’s sleeping right now. Doctor’s got him on the good stuff.”
“Is it that bad?”
He shouldn’t have enlisted. Asshole. He’s such an idiot. He could have died! “I wanna meet aliens” my ass.
*“*The doc says he’ll be up and at em in a few days, but the pain is still kicking him.”
*“*Is he alright? Like, is he shellshocked?”
Dad frowned. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask.” He looked past the camera. “He’s pretty bitter about the whole thing.”
My blood ran cold. I knew what it sounded like when he was downplaying something. “Dad. Is he gonna be okay?”
His expression softened. “Luke’s a strong boy. He’ll be okay.”
“He better. I’ll kill him if he’s not. You be sure to tell him that.”
Dad laughed. “Sure, sure. Back to the aliens, if you will.”
“My bad.” Warmth filled my face. “So there’s this guy who lives in my apartment building, right? I come back home after a day of trying, and failing, to get my hands on any materials, craft materials are super expensive here for some reason, by the way, and he’s coming home at the same time, so I say hi to him, and he jumps me!”
Maybe things would get better.
“Their claws are sharp! He scratched me up pretty bad, look.” I raised my arm to the camera, and my dad gasped in response.
"Whoa, that’s a lot of bandages.”
“Yeah, right? I may have put too much actually. Anyway, he charges me, and so I put him in a headlock, and I yell at him to calm down. It might have been a misplay on my part, I have to admit. What, with the venlil thinking we want to eat them and all that jazz.”
Dad nodded, eyes full of stars. This was nice.
“Well, he starts crying, and now I felt like an ass, so I try to calm him down, but he’s not having any of it. So I hand him a doll I made, but that didn’t do much either, so I ended up just having to leave him there. Would you believe it if I told you he came knocking on my door the next day? He wanted to learn felting!”
He burst into laughter, having to wiping a tear from his eye. “I have to say, you have the strangest way of making friends.”
Maybe I was worrying over nothing.
“Oh, I forgot to mention, so, I was trying to get wool, right? But there’s obviously no sheep here on venlil prime.”
“Oh, don’t tell me.”
“So I went around offering free haircuts.”
Dad started wheezing like he had sand in his lungs. He struggled to point a finger at me. “S-so…” He burst into another fit of laughter. “You went around with shears, offering haircuts to the fluffy aliens who think you want to eat them?”
“Yes, that’s exactly right. I give damn good cuts too.” I grinned, face full of mischief.
“So this friend of yours took you up on the offer? What’s his name?”
“Meba. And yes, I sheared him.”
“Okay, Meeh Baah? Are you pulling my leg?”
“Nope, that’s his real name. It means ‘little person’ in venlil, apparently.”
“You’re kidding! That is priceless! What happened then?”
“I sheared him, and then we went inside, and I taught him how to felt, and he got all flabbergasted when he saw me eat vegetables. He did this,” I held up a pointer finger, closing my eyes. “and then he said ‘You can’t eat vegetables, you’re a predator.’”
“Uh huh.”
“So after that, to skip to the good part, he has me follow him to work to *‘*protect him from humans’, and on the way back, just as we’re getting back to the apartments, he collapses in the hallway, hyperventilating and shaking.”
Maybe I could finally calm down.
“Oh no, was he okay?”
“Yeah, I brought him inside and calmed him down, but then the exterminators barged in! He stuffed me into a closet to hide me.”
Dad’s face swelled with disgust. “Ah yes, I’ve heard of them.”
“Well, they mess up the whole apartment, and they only leave because Meba is friends with their boss.”
“He’s buddy buddy with those folks?”
“Well, I don’t really know, but he used his connections to protect me, so I don’t mind. I was scared shitless the whole time. I barely kept myself still.”
“But you’re okay, right? They didn’t hurt you?”
"No, I was fine. I kind of blew up at him though. We made up though, and now he’s even comfortable around me with the mask off!”
“Mask?”
“The UN makes everyone wear masks in public so we don’t scare people.”
“I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Yeah… it’s kinda scary sometimes.”
Home was still there.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure the rest of em will fall for your charm soon enough.”
“Yeah. After all, who could hate such an enchanting young lady?” I made a not so dignified face.
Dad shot a silly look right back, making us both laugh at our shared stupidity.
“So, since everything’s intact, when should I come home? I should be able to pretty soon.”
He smiled. “Hey, don’t worry about that. You should stay up there until the power comes back in… oh I don’t know, it should be on in a week or two. No reason to come back when the town is still out of whack.”
“What? But I can help out. Isn’t there work to be done?”
His eyes were warm. “Arlene, just have fun. We’ll be fine. Come home when it’s more comfortable.”
What?
“But I miss you guys.”
“I know, I miss you too.” He glanced off to the side for a moment. “But just wait a little longer. I want to roll the red carpet out for you. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Fine, but I expect a royal welcome.”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I better let you go, I have to make dinner.”
“Oh.. okay. I was hoping you’d be able to tell me about what’s going on in town.”
“Nothing crazy, just the usual but with flashlights instead of street lamps. Say hi to Meba for me.”
“Okay. Bye dad.”
“Bye kiddo. Try not to worry yourself so much.”
“I’ll try. I love you,”
“I love you too.”
He hung up the call, and home was gone again.
I popped back into the room to give Taylor her datapad back.
“How’d it go?” She asked.
“Good. I think.” I grabbed my mask, and handed her the device.
She smiled. “I’m glad. Want to stay for a bit? Today is pizza day.”
“I’m good. I should probably head out. Thanks though.”
“Wait a second, here.” Taylor handed me a card.
I turned it over in my fingers. It was off white with gold lettering. A business card. Very… eccentric.
“What’s this?”
“My info, so you can get in touch with me when you get a datapad. I’m kinda the self appointed caretaker of this place. If you need anything, anything at all, I’m your gal.”
I took another look at the card. “Thanks. It means a lot.”
“You’re welcome! See you later.”
“See you.”
---
I sat on the bench by the office, legs crossed, working on a mini venlil, my third one actually. Yes, I was building an army. An army of little venlil that I would use for… something. Each one measured no more than four inches tall, with floppy yarn tails, and bits of blue yarn affixed for eyes.
They say the one who folds a thousand paper cranes will be granted a wish. What do you get for one thousand woolen venlil?
“Arlene?” Meba was walking towards me. His eyes were unfocused, and his tail was motionless, like a doll’s. He dragged his feet on the ground, and his bag weighed on him like a heap of iron. To put it bluntly, he looked like shit.
“Oh hey there. Done with work?”
“Yeah. What are you making?” His voice was monotone.
“More mini venlil.”
He leaned over. “It looks like me.”
“It is made out of your wool. It would be worrying if it didn’t resemble you.”
“I guess. Does this one have a name too?”
“Not yet. Do you have any ideas?”
He thought for a moment, ears swiveling like satellite dishes. “Mulek.”
“Mulek it is. Is that a common name?”
“It was my father’s name.” He didn’t elaborate.
“Oh, speaking of which, my dad says ‘hi’.”
“He’s the… rancher, right?”
“Yeah.” I got up off the bench. “He’s not as scary as he sounds. If you met him, you’d realize his head is just full of muscles and fart jokes. Ready to go?”
He flicked an ear, and we started walking. The sheer complexity of venlil body language never failed to impress me. Not the ear flicks, those were easy, but the tail signals were insane.
“Hey, Meba?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s your job?”
“I’m a computer scientist. Why do you ask?”
“You look really tired. Six hours, sorry, I mean a claw and a half. It’s a long shift for venlil right?”
“Yes, but my job isn’t very physically demanding.”
“It isn’t taking a toll on you?”
“No.” He lied. I mean fuck, did he think I was stupid? I wasn’t, I think. If it wasn’t his job, it was something else.
“Really?”
“Yes, I just didn’t sleep well.” His eyes were drooping in real time.
Fine, be like that. If you won’t open up, I’ll just help another way.
“Do you want me to carry you?”
Meba stopped in his tracks. “C-carry me?”
“You aren’t very heavy. I could give you a piggyback ride the rest of the way.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“C’mon, I could use the exercise.” I crouched down, beckoning him over with my hands.
"Arlene, I can walk on my own.” He sounded offended.
"At least let me carry your bag.”
Meba sighed. “Fine.”
I stood up and grabbed his bag. “And away we go!”
We arrived at the station, just in time to catch the tube. Meba yanked his bag out of my arms to swipe his card through the terminal. This particular transport was packed to the brim with people, more than a few of them human. Meba visibly stiffened. He sat down, I remained standing.
“You okay?”
“Y-yeah. It’s just a-a lot.” He most definitely wasn’t, he was trembling like a leaf.
I stood between him and the crowd. “Better?”
“A l-little… thanks.”
“Hey, why don’t you work on the scarf, take your mind of things?”
“S-sure.” He grabbed the yarn ball from his bag, along with the crochet hook. Slowly, he removed the clip that was stopping it from unraveling, and stuck the hook through, starting right where he left off. He was definitely getting faster.
The tube rattled.
Outside, the city still breathed.
Kids coming home form school, people like us, coming home from work.
Same old same old.
In my mind, I pictured a fleet, swooping through star systems, making daring maneuvers, shooting down other vessels. So many lights. I imagined the metal stretching, and the hull creaking as it moved. I imagined the little people inside, scurrying around like ants, each wholly insignificant, but still, moving that massive shape.
I turned around to check on Meba.
He was still shaking, like a wet dog in the snow.
God, I miss Milo. Too bad they don’t let dogs on venlil prime.
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you gonna be alright?”
He looked up at me, with his funny little eyes. They were full of anger.
“Yes. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He let out a breath, clenching his jaw. “It’s so s-stupid it makes me sick.”
“Sorry?”
“There’s no t-threat. I shouldn’t be scared.”
I gave him a gentle shake. “Hey, it’s no big deal. You’re doing well.”
“I’m doing h-horrible. I hate these stupid instincts.” He growled. “H-how is this supposed to be an evolutionary advantage? I can b-barely think straight.”
“Take a deep breath.”
“B-brahk this.” He muttered. “You k-know, we’re famous for being w-weak. The b-best in the whole brahking f-federation.”
I frowned. “Don’t say that.”
“We c-can’t run, and w-we can’t fight.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“I can’t even c-control myself. I h-hate it.” He let the scarf slide back into his bag.
“Meba, you’re the bravest venlil I’ve met.”
“What d-does that say about us? That I’m one of t-the ‘brave ones’? It’s brahking p-pathetic.”
“Don’t say that about yourself.”
“Brahk! What else am I supposed to say?” He hissed, head finding its way into his paws. “It’s horrible. Horrible, horrible, h-horrible.”
I sat down next to him, and put my arm around his shoulder.
“This is s-so stupid.” He muttered.
“Tell me what happened?”
“No.”
A sigh escaped me. This was exhausting. “Okay.” I pulled him close.
He removed his paws from his face to look at me. “How am I gonna t-talk to Gram’s friend like this? I can’t even h-handle being around a few random humans. How am I going to deal with him e-eating in front of me?”
“You saw me eating, didn’t you?”
“That’s… d-different.”
“We don’t have to go if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
“N-no. I need to d-do this. I can’t keep b-being scared all the t-time.” He clutched at his fur.
I bent over to grab the work-in-progress scarf from his bag, and offered him the half finished garment.
Meba received the scarf, with eyes full of ash. “Thanks…” He continued weaving.
But before he could get into a groove, the brakes forced us to brace ourselves. We were home.
The ground still rumbled as we left the station, even with the rubbery pavement dampening the vibrations. The scent of rain was in the air, carrying with it a special tint from the alien soil. Wind was billowing now, whipping my hair and pushing against my thick greatcoat. Meba was somehow unbothered by this, thanks to his wool I assume. There weren’t clouds overhead, but that would change. My hands hid in their pockets.
‘Twas too cold madam!’ Said lefty.
‘Not for I! It’s simply more comfortable in here.’ Said righty.
We passed the yard, heading up to the second floor, and my apartment. I shivered.
*“*I think it’s gonna rain soon.”
*“*Huh? Why do you say that?”
*“*It smells like rain.”
He tilted his head, ears flopping along with it. “I thought human noses weren’t very strong?”
*“*Well, not for most things, but we can smell when it rains from quite a ways away.” I opened the door, and stepped inside, yanking my feet out of their shells. “Come on in.”
Meba followed with no hesitation, even when I deposited the mask on the coffee table. He plopped down on the couch, deflating for a few seconds before digging around in his bag for the scarf. I grabbed some snacks from the kitchen, and brought them to the couch. I plopped down beside him, and flipped the TV to a random channel. Hopefully lazing about would help both of us.
After a few minutes of zoning out to The Exterminators of all things, I managed to doze off somehow. Sights and sounds melded into goop, as my brain ceased exact function. Facts became obscured, no concrete understanding remaining. Static resonating with time stretching like putty, everything subjective, only in the moment.
A tower, in the desert, numbly stalking around crumbling balconies, arms like swarms, legs like chicken wire. No need to blink. Down below is something terrible, but it doesn’t matter. It is safe here. But snow falls, the sky tearing like an old t-shirt, is it? The weave becoming tighter, it stretches along the north, through to the south, a taut little line of cotton. Now I’m tearing too. The tower isn’t crumbling, but folding. ‘Here’s the sun’, I think, mind reeling back to wakefulness, a snout by my face. Milo?
“Who?”
“Huh?” I tried to sit up, bringing a hand to the kink in my neck. My mouth was dry with viscus saliva, the aftermath of a nap. When I made it about half way up, my skull collided with Meba’s freakishly solid face.
I fell back, gripping my forehead with a groan.
Meba jumped back, startled. “A-are you okay?”
"Ugh…” I curled up into a ball to further cradle the lump growing on my head. “Owwie…”
He started hyperventilating, almost jogging in place.
I grabbed him by the arm. “I’m fine. That just hurt like hell. What is it?”
The squirming stopped. “Sorry for waking you up. I just wanted to know if you think this is long enough.” He held up the scarf to my face, which was still partially covered by my other hand.
Jeez, more than enough. That thing must be at least 80 inches. How long have I been out?
“Yeah, need me to help you finish it off?”
“Yes please.”
submitted by PlasmaShovel to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]

2024.05.11 14:10 ButstheSlackGordsman Joy

Joy
“Please don’t do this to me! I’ll die out there!” Tiffany crumpled to the floor, phone shaking against her ear.
A gruff voice crackled. “I’m sorry Tiffany, our runner in your area got caught on his latest delivery. My other guy barely made it back. He saw Jimmy get hauled into the van. They’ve probably torn him apart by now.”
“Please…I don’t have any food left in the house. I’ll never make it out there. They’ll spot me immediately.”
“Listen, listen Tiff. It’s going to be OK. Listen to me alright? There’s a shop one block away from you.”
“I can’t!”
“You have to! OK, all you have to do is get in and get out. Put on the darkest sunglasses you have. You have shades right?”
Tiffany glanced up to the cabinet. Her terrified face reflected at her through the polarized lenses. “Uh-huh”
“That’s good, that’s real good. Now you put those on and grab enough food for a week while I find a replacement runner OK?”
“O-OK”
“And Tiffany?”
“Remember to smile, smile as wide as you can and never drop it. You know what happens if they suspect…”
“I know, thanks Mark.”
Tiffany hung up the phone with a shuddering exhale. She stood up and looked herself over in the mirror. A terrified blonde woman stared back, eyes wide with fear.
She wiped her tears and smoothed out her locks. She grasped her oversized sunglasses with trembling hands and put them on. She bent over, adjusting them carefully to ensure no trace of her eyes could be seen.
Glancing down, she looked over her list of food. Enough for a week…get in, get out…and smile.
Before turning to leave, she smiled into the mirror. The upturned mouth seemed almost foreign to her; she hadn’t laughed since everyone had been Torn. There weren’t many of her left in the world; the Joyous reigned supreme.
She stretched her smile as wide as it could go, until her cheeks strained with the effort. Exhaling through her teeth, she grasped the handle. The doorknob shook from her grip. Get it together…in and out…
She twisted the knob and threw the door open.
An eyeless face sprang up to meet her.
Tiffany screamed and jumped back.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”
Tiffany clutched her heaving chest, trying to calm herself. The woman standing in on her stoop had no eyes, only dark, empty sockets each gleaming with a glowing pinprick of light. An enormous smile spread from ear to ear.
Tiffany forced words from her paralyzed mind. “Oh, it’s alright, I was just about to get some shopping done!”
The woman stared unblinking with her flickering pits. She lifted a newspaper. “I saw this blow over onto the street, so I thought I’d bring this little ol’ newsie inside!” She let out a raucous laugh.
Tiffany accepted the paper, praying she looked relaxed. She took a quick glimpse at the headline.
Joy! New York Mayor Declares City over 99% Pure on 1-Year Anniversary!
“Aww, I see you have just been Freed. Congratulations dear. How do you like the colors?” The woman bent her head closer to Tiffany’s face. Her heart hammered in her throat as her eyes were drawn to the woman’s scars. Black lines spider webbed all across her body, down her arms, over her face, and plunged down her low cut shirt. “Aw, I remember when I was freed; I didn’t really have scars either. I found a great doctor who touched me up; I can share his number with you!” She lifted her neck, showing off her scars wrapped around her throat.
“Yes, the colors they’re so…beautiful. Yeah…the doctors said I was one of the lucky ones, guess tough skin runs in the family.” Tiffany tried to laugh as she spoke.
The woman leaned back; her smile somehow widening even more. “Ah! Tragic! Stay safe y’hear? A naughty somebody escaped the hospital recently, ah, there he is now. Isn’t he silly?” She pointed to the distance.
Tiffany turned her head in the direction of her arm. Her heart sank to her stomach.
The street rose in an incline. The distant figure of a man climbed into sight at the crest of the hill. His sandy hair was unmistakable.
Tiffany lifted a trembling hand to her mouth. Jimmy?
Jimmy was naked with blood pouring in rivets all down the front of his torso. As she squinted, she realized that Jimmy’s body wasn't moving; it hung limp, limbs dangling in the air. Her darting eyes widened as she saw his legs hovered off the road.
Four thick tendrils pulsated out of Jimmy’s gaping mouth. The dark trunks spilled out onto the ground, suspending his frame in midair. The shadowy pillars supported his body like makeshift legs. Jimmy lolled back and forth as the inhuman limbs propelled him down the hill like a beast.
Tiffany’s stomach churned in knots as he careened down the street. He couldn’t speak but his bulging eyes darting all around spoke all that was needed. Her gaze adhered to the incomprehensible stalks that moved of their own accord. The tentacles shimmered and writhed all over, smaller tendrils branching off, thrashing independently of one another.
Right as he passed Tiffany, he tripped and skidded to the ground. The husks all around her burst into raucous laughter at the sight of it clamoring back up.
The woman doubled over in giggles. “Ooh, you silly goose, don’t even know what’s good for ya!”
Jimmy’s chest bloated and bubbled. The bulge traveled up his throat, extending it to an inhuman width. A horrid squelching erupted as two pink sacs attached to tubes slithered out of his mouth, traveling along the lengths of the trunks. Tiffany could barely support her own weight at the sight of Jimmy’s lungs pulsating in frantic breaths.
Her horrified gaze watched as the lungs enlarged in a deep breath, a gurgling crescendoing in pitch. They expanded to full size and hung still for an instant. Then exploded in desperate screams.
“HELP ME! PLEASE, I’M ALIVE LIKE YO-”
With the roar of an engine and the screech of tires, a vehicle slammed into Jimmy’s body. A spray of blood rained on Tiffany and the crowd. A white van screeched to a halt just as Jimmy flew through the air, all eight limbs flailing in the wind.
No amount of bracing could prepare Tiffany for the sound of bones crushing as Jimmy landed in a bloody mess on the asphalt. The crowd of husks whooped and hollered. The drivers clambered out of the vehicle and took deep bows, grinning broadly.
Wiping off blood, Tiffany inspected the logo on the van. It displayed two cartoon men each standing on the side of another person. The person was divided into two halves. One side was human with a smiling face while the other was a shadowy figure, screaming in agony. The smiling men each pulled on an arm as if separating the halves.
“Sorry folks! We had a feisty one here, we’ll take care of it from here!” He drew a syringe from his pocket.
“That’s OK! Need a hand?” The woman called back to enthusiastic nods from the crowd. The van driver waved his arm in the direction of Jimmy’s limb body.
Tiffany blinked back burning tears as she watched Jimmy twitch on the ground. The husks closed in around him, laughing as they surrounded him. She wanted nothing more than to just retreat inside and vomit. But an opportunity presented itself.
Streams of people poured out of the shop ahead, drawn to the spectacle on the street. The sidewalks leading up to the store cleared. Her path would never be this open again. Tearing her eyes from Jimmy, she walked as fast as possible to the market, her smile twitching in anguish.
After what felt like hours, she stood at the entrance to the food mart. She moved her jaw around to loosen it, almost flinching as it popped. OK…in and out…then you’re safe. Running over her mental list one last time, she barged inside.
A wave of frigid air washed over her. She scanned the shop, exhaling out a sigh of relief as she confirmed it was mostly empty. Only a mother pushing a stroller joined her in the market.
Tiffany whipped out a shopping cart and sped down aisle by aisle. Eyes darting, she grasped each item on her list as if it were manna from heaven. Her breathing eased as she made it to the other side of the store without incident. A small bit of happiness welled up within her as she looked over her bulging wagon. It was enough to last her two weeks, two blissful weeks of safety. All she had to do was get out.
She strolled to the checkout lane. The mother was in front of her, the groceries crinkling as they were bagged by the cheerful cashier. Tiffany’s knuckles gripped the cart so hard they turned white. Please…just pay and leave…
Tiffany’s heart skipped a beat as the mother twisted her neck to look at her. Empty sockets crinkled as the young woman’s smile widened. “Why hello there! Any idea what the ruckus is out there?” A collective cheer erupted outside in the distance.
Tiffany shook her head, trying to push Jimmy’s battered body out of her thoughts.
She glanced at Tiffany’s cart. “Big haul. You having a party?”
Tiffany nodded, almost forgetting to breathe.
“Am I invited? Where do you live?”
Tiffany gulped. The mother roared with laughter. “Oh dearie me, I’m just kidding you. I’d love to go but this little man down here takes up all my time. Wanna say hi?”
Tiffany nodded again, her cheeks screaming with the strain of her fake smile. The mother lifted the hood of the stroller and wheeled it around, facing Tiffany. An eyeless baby cooed up at her, its sockets nearly taking up half its face. Black scars lined its entire body, lashing its face that carved itself into a wide smile.
Tiffany screamed in terror, flinging herself back.
CLACK!
Light streamed into her eyes as they watered. Time almost stopped as she glanced down at her sunglasses. Shuddering, she looked back up. The mother, baby, and cashier stared at her.
Without taking his sockets off her, the cashier pressed a button on the counter. An intercom crackled to life. “Attention all employees. We have someone in pain over here. Please call the authorities while we restrain her.”
Tiffany threw the cart to the ground, sprinting to the glass double doors. Talon-like fingers dug into her shoulder right as she reached the exit. “NO! PLEASE LET ME GO! PLEASE!”
But the mother just giggled into her ear. “Now why would I do that, sweetie? Don’t worry, we’re going to help you. See? They’re already here to heal you!”
Tiffany’s heart sank into her stomach as she watched the same van that crashed into Jimmy park outside. Two men dressed in scrubs burst out the back, wheeling out a gurney. Her eyes bulged as she gazed at the restraints gleaming cruelly in the morning light.
The smiling men jaunted over to her. Tiffany ground her heel into the mother’s toes; the arms holding her released. She rushed forward to the man on the left, throwing a wild punch in desperation.
To her surprise, her knuckles connected, slamming the man’s head back to its side. Rough hands grabbed her arms by the elbows, jerking them behind her.
The man she’d punched twisted his head back, the unnatural smile still plastered on his face. “Now, now simmer down, young lady. He snatched her kicking feet and lifted her in tandem with the other man.
With inhuman strength, they slammed her onto the gurney. She flailed, straining her limbs against their grasp. Her shoulders popped in their sockets, her screams erupting in pain and fear.
CLICK!
Cold metal clamped down on her right wrist. Three more clicks restrained her completely.
“No, no, no, please! Just let me go! I’ll never bother you again!” Tiffany half screamed and half sobbed.
One man chuckled. “Oops! Gotta make some room!”
She wailed as she watched the men drag Jimmy’s corpse out of the back and toss it on the sidewalk. The doors slammed shut, and the vehicle sped off.
Desperation gave way to despair for Tiffany, she wept bitterly. She gasped as the men wiped away tears on each side of her face. They lifted their fingers to their eyeless pits, staring in wonder at the droplet forming, mouths parted and making soft cooing sounds.
“I remember my last tear, what about you Ted?” The man on her right whispered.
The man on the left nodded, sucking his finger. “Yeah…I almost miss the taste.” They both roared in laughter at the same time.
The van jolted to a halt. The men flung the doors open. “Don’t worry missy, it will all be over soon!”
She shook her head, pleading for anyone she passed to help her as she was wheeled into the hospital. All she received were condescending smiles, and pats on the hand. She was sped into an operating room. Her eyes widened in terror at the sight of the tearing chair.
A medical bed lay in the middle of the chamber. A bar of light hung at the bed’s foot. The bar crossed over the width of the bed, attached to a track that ran along the length from the bottom to the top. Her heart sank. She’d expected cutting instruments but the lack of them frightened her even more.
A grinning doctor finished washing her hands in the nearby sink, pulling latex gloves on. “Oh dearie me, look at this poor soul. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten freed one so large! The gals will take it from here, boys!” The men giggled as they left the room.
Masked women in scrubs burst from the doors to assist. Even behind the masks, their smiles were visible. They all carried scissors. Within seconds, they snipped off all of her clothes leaving her naked in the gurney.
The doctor lifted a syringe, the end dripping with sedative. “Now we need you to be still for this next part sweetie!” She rammed the needle into her hip and thumbed the plunger down. She gasped as the burning liquid clouded into her bloodstream. At once, her extremities deadened, all feeling and control gone.
A pair of arms gripped each of her limbs as she was lifted off the gurney and thrown onto the medical bed. The doctor looked down at her at the foot of the bed, grasping the bar of light. It pulsated in waves of color as she clinked it into place over Tiffany’s feet so that the luminescence only hovered an inch over her skin.
The soles of her feet writhed in agony in the light’s presence. Tiffany screamed at the burning tendrils within her feet. A horrific thought pierced her torment in a single moment of clarity. Something is moving inside me. Using the last vestiges of motor control left, she lifted her head an inch, eyes glued to her feet.
Various ridges rolled around on the tops of her feet, almost as if something flailed to get away from the brilliant light. The doctor traced a finger over the thrashing bulges. “Yes, the time for your last pain draws near, little one. No longer will you torment this young woman. No longer.” She placed both hands on the instrument bar. “Now, I must warn you. This will hurt…more than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. But what awaits you on the other side is…” She laughed.
“Please…” Tiffany whimpered, but the doctor pushed the bar of light up her legs.
Torture. Pure agony. Tiffany screamed to the point she thought her jaw might pop off its hinges. The writhing in her feet intensified, pulling and tearing at her skin…
A spurt of blood spewed over the doctor’s face. “Ah, we’ve crowned!”
“WHAT IS THIS?!” Tiffany screeched as she looked down. Blackened tentacles whipped violently back and forth, sprouting from her feet.
“Oh, it’s the sickness my sweet…it must be purged. Deep breath and here we go!” She pushed the bar of light even further along its track, this time going up her legs.
Molten lines of agony traced themselves up her legs in tandem with the glow. Tiffany’s eyes rolled up into her head and then back down again, casting her world in revolving darkness and light. The skin at her legs tore, thicker tendrils bursting out in viscous spray.
The dark veins slapped at the doctor's face but a smiling nurse grasped the flailing trunks and pinned them down as the doctor pressed on above her knees and up her thighs. Her skin bubbled and burst as the bleeding mass on each limb fled from the light. Tiffany stared transfixed at the monster birthed from her, the spindly body, the erratic, desperate movement of a trapped beast.
The bar stopped just below her groin. “This is probably the worst part dearie, brace yourself.’ She yanked it forward, up to her abdomen.
Tiffany’s voice tore, her throat bleeding raw. She’s never given birth before; the monster springing out from her womanhood made a poor substitute for a child.
“There you go baby. You’re doing so well. Halfway done!”
The instrument slid up her stomach, passing over her arms. The sickness within gripped her organs in a vain attempt to resist being torn out. Strands of obsidian wrested themselves out of her torso only to be collected and restrained by the unflinching nurses. Up her body they all went, up her chest, her shoulders, and on to her neck.
Right at the base of her chin, the bar of light chinked as it came to the end of its track. The beast within Tiffany screeched, straining at the nurses restraints. Forgetting the pain for an instant, Tiffany croaked through torn vocal chords. “What is this thing?”
The doctor wiped blood out of her sockets. “It’s your parasite, what you thought you were. I know it hurts; this thing feeds off pain. Don’t worry. We’re almost done.”
She pivoted two smaller bars of lights up to Tiffany’s head, one on each side. They swung in such a way that they would meet in the middle. Her eyes swiveled independently of each other, as if they too feared the light. The doctor smiled at the erratic movement.
“Oh, yes.” She whispered. “Feel fear. It’s what you deserve; it’s all you deserve.” She grasped each bar and clamped them together.
Blinding pressure built up in Tiffany’s eardrums as if she were being stabbed in each ear with knives aching to meet in the middle. An incessant ringing tingled, building up pitch and intensity until it was all she could hear. Her brain lit aflame, seething at the burning from the sound. “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” Her mouth uttered the words, but she couldn’t hear her voice anymore.
Like a cord being unplugged from a speaker, her world fell silent one pull at a time. Black tendrils whipped in her sight as the beast fled from her ear canals. The lights passed in her vision.
The doctor spoke unheard words. She tried to close her eyes, but they weren’t hers anymore. They swiveled all about in their sockets, trying to escape her skull.
But there was no escape, not for a parasite. The lights slammed shut, meeting in the middle right over her. The kaleidoscope of luminescence overtook everything. Her world melded to an ever changing sea of merging lights.
Her thoughts, her consciousness, her very essence whirled in her brain. A dark hole sprouted in her psyche. Her being swirled around the murky depths of her existence spinning to the choreography of the lights pulse. Round and round it went until she thought her last words. Who am I? All grew dark.
—---------
The operating room light blinded Tiffany. She tried to close her eyes but found she had no lids.
She saw the metal tray she lay on.
She saw the black, spindly lengths of her body laying in a tangled heap in the tray.
She saw Tiffany laying on the medical table. What?
Her psyche ran stark with shock as she watched herself sit up from the medical table. Her eyes were gone, replaced with two glowing pits burning in deep sockets. Blood trails criss crossed all over her venous scars. Tears of crimson flowed from her pits as she sobbed into her hands.
No…that’s me? But then…who am I?
She glanced up and received her horrifying answer. An operating mirror hung on the ceiling above her. What she had once thought as herself was now nothing more than a pair of eyeballs attached to a spinal stem with nervous branches tangled and heaped in a small tray.
She was the parasite.
The real Tiffany sobbed, a wide smile stretching across her face. “Colors…so many colors…”
The doctor handed her a pair of sunglasses. “Here, put these on and keep them on for the next couple of weeks. The parasites could only see a thin spectrum of light. You can see all of it now, it’s a bit overwhelming at first but you get used to it.”
The real Tiffany placed the sunglasses on her face then clutched at her chest. “What….what is this feeling? It burns yet…it’s warm all over..”
The doctor knelt at the real Tiffany’s side. “It’s happiness…” She giggled. “Pure happiness, it’s what that parasite over there denied you.” The doctor shot a glare to the nerve bundle that used to be Tiffany.
The real Tiffany released her chest. “How long has it been inside of me?”
The doctor stood up. “We aren’t sure when these parasites fused with humans but it must have been millennia ago. They have been entwined with us so long we even once thought they were part of our bodies. The nervous system, what a cruel joke. These things thrive off of our happiness and only feed us pain in return.”
The doctor shot the nerve bundle a look. Even though she smiled, Tiffany could feel the doctor’s contempt radiating. “Look how pathetic it is. Can’t even move anymore. These things rely on our central brain systems to move. Once separated, they are immobile. It’s rather ironic that they only try to move as we cut into their feeding supply.”
The real Tiffany hugged the doctor who returned the embrace. “Thank you…for freeing me.” The doctor rubbed her back.
They released each other. The real Tiffany looked over at the nerve bundle that used to be her. “What do we do with…it?”
The doctor grasped the nerve bundle unceremoniously in her palm. Wait…no! I’m-I’m me!
“We will cast her into the depths to which she came from of course!” The doctor laughed as she brought the nerve bundle to a trash chute. The nerve bundle glanced down, recoiling in horror. No light graced her final destination.
“Good riddance.” The nerve bundle was released and cast into the void. It landed with a plop amongst the other writhing bundles, rueing the day it ever thought it truly existed.
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2024.05.11 07:53 flowerchimmy Best Greek Orthodox Church in Chicago/SW suburbs with YAL?

I’m a mid-20s gal wanting to be much more involved in the church and want to go to an active parish especially with other young adults. Ideally with liturgies in mostly English if possible (I do have St. John’s liturgy book with romanized Greek). Curious if anyone has suggestions!
Context: was looking at Assumption Greek Orthodox Church, but based on their posted YouTube videos of liturgies 7months ago, the liturgy seems to be mostly Greek.
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2024.05.11 05:45 hk_mechanical Formosan Termites Treatment Advice

Formosan Termites Treatment Advice
I have formosan termites. I just found out today that they are eating through the wood on the exterior of the back of my home (mud tubes and I could poke my finger through the wood). Every company wants to do some combination of bait stations, trench and treat, fumigation, and spot treatment. We are planning to do bait stations (sentricon), trench and treat (termidor), and spot treat with foam in the area we found the mud tubes and wood damage ASAP. I am wondering if we are making a mistake by not tenting the house, even though most companies advised against it. What are yours guys/gals thoughts on this?
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2024.05.11 03:39 Resuhrrect Mystery ENT Issue

So this is going to be a long post with quite a few different things in it.
31/M 5'8 170lbs
January is when the issues started that I want some feedback on. It's becoming hard for me to know what may genuinely be withdrawal/side effects, and what may be something else.
Starting in January my kids got sick with some type of 24 hour virus, and it went through the whole house including myself. After that i got tinnitus in my left ear and felt AWFUL. Flu-like symptoms, body fatigue, chills, joints popping like crazy. The ear pain felt like my ear was just full of fuild, when I press up below it, my ear would feel like its going to explode. I went to my PCP and he put me on Cipro. I took it for a weekend and couldn't tolerate it. I thought I would be okay after that, then it was just day after day dizziness/extreme fatigue and a new symptom of head pain near the ear with tinnitus. It was so bad I was calling out of work a few days a week, and I haven't missed work in 5 years. The head pain would be right in front of my ear, in the temple area. Went to ENT after another week of this and was told it was an ear infection, was put on cefdinir for 2 weeks. I took it for a week with no changes so i stopped (yes i know this is very bad) I felt even worse the week following. He put me back on cefdinir for 2 more weeks which I took. Still no changes, and now at this point I can barley drive i was so dizzy. Not spinning dizzy, but almost tilting over dizzy. My eyes couldn't focus on anything and almost felt like they were dancing around. I went to the ER it got so bad after another week, had MRI of my brain, CT of my brain, and CT of my sinuses. The doctor said both showed minor sinus thickening with mucus and a little fluid on my left ear (ear with tinnitus). Nothing wrong or crazy with my brain. was told to take Doxycycline, they thought it was just a sinus infection with vertigo. I took it the whole time ( 2 weeks) and felt a little better but not like before all of this. I went back to local ENT soon after to show the results, and they preformed a Myringotomy on my left ear with no tubs to see if it would help. Long story short, it hurt like hell and didn't help the ringing or dizziness. This point the ENT said he thought it was just TMJ. I took all of this to my PCP, he doesn't think its TMJ, but thinks something is definitely up but doesn't know what it would be. Took all the blood tests known to man with all negative results. That list of test follows: WBC. RBC, Lyme, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, Alpga-Gal, ESR, CRP, RF Qnt, Thyroid, Vitamin. Only thing I thought was worth noting was my WBC was 9.5, CRP was 2, and ESR was 19. I had to go back to ENT to see another doctor because I wanted a second opinion. This new ENT looked over everything, all the scans, blood work, Myringotomy, and months of antibiotics with nothing getting better. He said he also thought it was a mix of TMJ and Eustachian tube dysfunction, then sent me out the door.
So here i am, better then I was in Jan/Feb with all this, able to go to work now. I'm having to take ibuprofen almost daily, twice a day to get through the day. My head/temple pain has not gotten any better but the extreme fatigue has. Today my ear has been still bothering me with pain, ringing, and left facial pain from my temples to my tops of my cheek. So i went and bought a ear scope to look at it myself. This is what I took. My right ear which hasn't bothered me the entire time looks what I would say is normal. My left ear which has been the problem ear the whole time doesn't look like the right. I can see the scar were the Myringotomy was preformed around the ear drum itself and a small amount of dried blood, but what I'm more concerned with is all the red and blood vessels I see. When i press on it, its EXACTLY were the pain is in my ear. I will attach pictures and just see what you all think yourself.
https://imgur.com/a/eedXjeH
I'm sure I'm missing information and being my first post this is alot for me to just type out to express. Definitely been affecting my mood, mental health, and relationship. If you have questions I will try to answer what I can. I've pretty much been told nothing is wrong with me clinically, so understand I come to reddit not to criticized
Thank you for reading this far if you have.
TDLR: Does the one ear look normal compared to the other ear which is not hurting or ringing everyday.
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2024.05.10 22:47 Teh_BabaOriley Help with tubes

Help with tubes
Pictures are of the first tube I put in myself. Leak circled.
Had a Michelin UHD tube before this one, and got 3200 miles with that and a Motoz Rallz 120/90-18. When switching to a Kenda K760 110/100-18, the Michelin tube looked good so we reused it. Aftera day riding trails in Arizona, the last 5 miles from where I was staying was pavement. Taking off from a stoplight 2 miles from home, I felt the rim lock hitting the pavement and the back end was squirrely. My air pump couldn't build any pressure. I zip tied the tire on and rode slowly the rest of the way, the rim lock thumping the pavement the whole way. It was a Friday night and the only shop I could find wouldn't have time to replace the tube Saturday morning, and next ride was planned for Sunday, so I went and bought a couple tubes from them Saturday morning to install myself.
When taking out the UHD tube, the only hole I could find was at the edge of the rim lock. I assumed there must have been a slow leak the day before, and the rim lock punched the hole riding it flat. I threw it away and put the tube pictured in.
My question is about the folds in the tube. Does that mean the tube was too big for the tire? You'll see the hole developed right on the edge of the crease. I only got 500 miles from this tube. Brand is "Sedona". Is it just a poor tube? The soapy water I had used mounting it, and the baby powder I put in the tire mixed with rubber dust to make a black paste caked on the tube. (Washed that off before pics.)
I replaced it yesterday, and plan to deflate it today and inject 4oz of Stan's No Tubes through the valve stem in the new one today, although I don't expect it to keep a hole from developin, or sealing it if there's creases in the tube. In the pic that shows the size, notice the marks left by the rim lock. Is that normal? It wasn't leaking there, do I don't think it was pinched.
Analysis and advice welcome. Am I doing something wrong?
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2024.05.10 20:23 lil_floja ‎Guys We F****d: YOU’VE BEEN A DESSERT TRAY AT AN ORGY? ft. Dirty Lola on Apple Podcasts

‎Guys We F****d: YOU’VE BEEN A DESSERT TRAY AT AN ORGY? ft. Dirty Lola on Apple Podcasts
IF YOU’RE IN LA SATURDAY, MAY 11th, COME SEE US TAPE A LIVE EPISODE OF GWF FOR NETFLIX IS A JOKE FEST! Get tickets HERE Happy Friday, Fckers! On today’s episode, your hosts, CORINNE FISHER and KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON, read an email from a female listener seeking advice on turning 30 amongst a sea of women terrified to age. The real question is: would you rather be older or dead? C&K then serenade their producer, Eric, who is turning the big 2-6. Time for your own health insurance, baby boy! Later, the duo welcomes sexpert and certified dildo slinger, DIRTY LOLA, to the show to discuss switching up how we orgasm, meeting guys on Fet Life and painting them like Santa Claus, what makes a real dom, and why you should only let a good friend kick you in the c*nt. Follow DIRTY LOLA on IG: @DirtyLola Follow GWF on all social media platforms: @GuysWeFcked Follow CORINNE FISHER: @PhilanthropyGal Get tickets for Corinne’s EYE OF THE TIGER TOUR at www.corinnefisher.com Follow KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON: @KrystynaHutch Sign up for Krystyna’s Patreon at www.Patreon.com/KrystynaHutchinson Follow ERIC FRETTY @EricFretty Want to write in for advice? Send your dilemma to: SorryAboutLastNightShow@gmail.com Watch full episodes of GWF on YouTube www.YouTube.com/GuysWeFcked MUSIC FEATURED ON TODAY’S EPISODE: Artist: Diego Torrado Track: "Love on a Boat" Diegotorradofilms.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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2024.05.10 20:22 lil_floja ‎Guys We F****d: HE DUMPED YOU AFTER YOU CONVERTED? ft. Stef Dag on Apple Podcasts

‎Guys We F****d: HE DUMPED YOU AFTER YOU CONVERTED? ft. Stef Dag on Apple Podcasts
On today’s episode, hosts CORINNE FISHER and KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON read an email from a social media manager trying not to take nasty IG comments personally. After, Krystyna regales us with her latest discovery, ketamine infusions, followed by Corinne’s reactions to Taylor Swift’s tortured poetry. The women then welcome stand-up comedian, STEF DAG, to the studio. Together, they discuss converting to Orthodox Judaism for a fckboy who isn’t even religious, being in a non-monogamous relationship from the start, taking a pole dancing class, and going to strip clubs for the art. Follow STEF DAG on IG: @StefDagz If you're in Los Angeles on Saturday, May 11th, come see a live recording of Guys We Fucked at The Regent Theater for Netflix Is A Joke Festival. - click HERE for tickets - Follow GWF on all social media platforms: @GuysWeFcked Follow CORINNE FISHER: @PhilanthropyGal Get tickets for Corinne’s EYE OF THE TIGER TOUR at www.corinnefisher.com Follow KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON: @KrystynaHutch Sign up for Krystyna’s Patreon at www.Patreon.com/KrystynaHutchinson Follow ERIC FRETTY @EricFretty Want to write in for advice? Send your dilemma to: SorryAboutLastNightShow@gmail.com Watch full episodes of GWF on YouTube www.YouTube.com/GuysWeFcked MUSIC FEATURED ON TODAY’S EPISODE: Victoria Finehout-Vigil https://open.spotify.com/artist/3ZLV0bEhepFisTtsKWaWZs?si=vP9xgWTLSyu7sNrNKOL08Q&nd=1&dlsi=ddc327bb768440b5 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
submitted by lil_floja to guyswefucked [link] [comments]

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