Vanderpump Rules is a hilarious comedy about what happens when attractive people are accidentally ensnared in Lisa Vanderpump’s tacky trap, and drown under the weight of her cast-off pink flowers. The first season was basically perfect reality tv, and after endless rounds of weird slap-fights and short-term marriages, it appeared to be down to its dying embers, until an unscheduled cheating scandal allowed the show to rise like the phoenix tattoo from Ben Affleck’s back.
“Look, I had a problem with alcohol,” Ben wishes we’d quit reminding him.
With the scandal a hot headline, Bravo scrambled to grab their cameras while everyone was still bleeding in the street, and when it came time to edit, they knew this season wouldn’t be rage-bait unless they anchored it in misogyny.
“I thought we were going to be like the Spice Girls,” Ariana frets. “I was hoping I’d get to zigga-zig-ah.”
“Ha! Turning women against each other is why I wake up in the morning,” Andy Cohen pauses eating a baby long enough to sip from a glass of drunk housewife tears.
April kicks off with Ariana still adjusting to the opportunity and income upgrades birthed from total life upheaval, while the vultures in her network circle the sky for scraps and squawk their way into the narrative. Her ex Sandoval shuffles in platform shoes to embrace his Charlie Brown remorseless redemption arc. This is tricky to sell, since he can’t even perform giving a shit, so he comes off more sociopathic than a serial monogamist who can’t exit a relationship without a lady-in-waiting.
“I feel like I should mention Burning Man again,” Sandoval sighs, promising this isn’t a ten-year midlife crisis, and you don’t need to see his driver’s license to check his age.
Sandoval’s hoping Schaena’s obsessive jealousy over Ariana’s turn on Dancing with the Stars will be enough to derail whatever flimsy loyalty she previously assigned to their friendship, which is a safe bet, since there’s no woman Schaena won’t assign a burning bear suit for a tendril of male approval. So begins her full transformation into Gretchen from Mean Girls, storing everyone’s tea in the location tracker on her phone, and reading off receipts whenever the attention-fairy fails to flap under her chin until she sniffs out the chorus for her next chart-missing autotune monstrosity. This is how she makes fetch happen, and tattoos it onto her arm.
“It’s all happening. It is. IT IS!” Schaena gestures violently at her pop culture initiation ink.
In the past Sandoval recommended that the cheating partner in a relationshit be the one to exit the household, but now that he’s in the village stocks that policy needs a rewrite, and like his last romantic implosion, he refuses to be the one to leave.
“This is why I tell people I wasn’t crazy, I was REACTING!” Kristin reminds everyone this is her Monica Lewinsky year.
So Ariana and Sandoval still occupy the same address, with personal assistant Ann tasked with playing a boring game of telephone. Ann’s duties include tidying the floor’s wayward hair extensions, stuffing laundry into biohazard bags, and marveling at the contents of the litterbox while Tom tracks his reflection during slow treadmill meditations on nailpolish and facial hair. Ariana has been very busy while Sandoval has just been very, so when Ariana asks Ann if she knows anyone looking for assistant work, the person Ann recommends is…herself.
“I’d really really really really like to work for someone who does stuff!” Ann squees.
“Well I’m probably going to get depressed soon, since everyone’s disparaging me for my success, and my best friends kinda aren’t…” Ariana tries to get Ann to calm down.
“I really want to work for you. Really.” Ann can’t be calmed. “I just put an enema bag in the trash. Help me.”
The next day Ann shows up in business casual attire, and quickly checks in on Tom to make sure he hasn’t lost his balance during mandatory mirror-flexing. She tells him Ariana is eager to tap her assistant network, without noting it’s a network of one, and makes haste for the kitchen. With nothing better to do than linger in the doorway of Ariana’s advancement, Sandoval learns THE TRUTH about Ann’s ambitions.
“I won’t fire her exactly, but I’ll humiliate her, and start seeing another assistant on the side,” Tom has one solution for all things.
Once Ann is crying in the kitchen, Sandoval takes his woe-is-me tour outside of the house, for more conversations about how unreasonable Ariana is for stealing the assistant that helps him wrangle the tasks of buying batteries and neglecting animals.
“Those aren’t my pets and I shouldn’t have to take care of them,” Sandoval self-awares. “Still, Ariana shouldn’t say they’re hers just because she adopted them, pays their expenses, and feeds them.”
“You locked my dog in my room for three hours, and it ate my garbage monument,” Ariana scowls.
Tom swears he shoved the litterbox full of feces in the room first, so the dog had a variety of things to snack on. That’s right, we’re given not one but two litterbox reveals, when zero would have been just fine, and it’s hard to believe the presented trough is the product of a single cat’s anal efforts, even over the stretch of a week.
“Grandma, I don’t think a cat would poop on top of poop like that, grandma,” Pogue Bun-Bun can’t believe his pink toes and nose. “I would just stand in front of it and say ‘Grandma’ over and over again while tapping the wall with my beans. Don’t they listen, Grandma?”
“Apparently not, Pogue Pierogi,” Fractalfay says, getting back to the business of doing whatever her toxoplasmosis directs.
All the same, the ASPCA needs to do a wellness check on all animals affiliated with this cast, including the frequently-biting dog working out a name-change, the cat who poops like a 41 year-old narcissist, the post-operative dog recovering from skewer-eating, and anything Schaena’s glued to her eyes.
“It’s mink!” Schaena snaps, reminding us about the time Tom saved her from financial ruin. “That’s just like a weasel or something, it’s not like it was doing anything.”
“Why are you looking at me?” Brock looks up, excited to be included.
Schaena reports she’s wrestling OCD brought on by post-baby hormones and the man-baby she shares a house with. Brock thinks the solution to this anxiety is more nannies, so there’s always someone on hand to pat makeup onto a toddler’s face while he’s busy shopping for budgie smugglers.
“I don’t see why we should parent when we don’t have to parent,” Brock’s done this before.
“I feel like this is your second chance at being a dad though,” Schaena fries.
“Doesn’t everyone get three chances?” Brock checks his notes, but all he’s written down is BECOME SANDOVAL STEP ONE: SHOES.
Schaena needs a hobby to distract herself, so she reveals she’s tracking dozens of people on her phone and knows who hooked up with who. Schaena’s big scoop is that Katie slept with Max, her former stalking victim/one-sided relationshit, and apparently Schwartz’s best friend this season. No one gives a shit in the slightest, despite Lala’s efforts to mountain-up this molehill, so the cast gets back to what they do best: chasing Ariana from scene to scene, asking if she’s gotten over her ten year relationship’s implosion yet. Now? How bout now? Now? How bout now?
This fails to trigger Ariana’s get-over-it reflex, and instead she finds herself at a beach picnic with last season’s trash and only Katie to trade side-eyes with.
“Basically I’m right professionally,” Katie reads. “On Bravo, this guarantees a villain edit.”
Schaena sits by gamely while Brock scrambles for screen time by reminding Ariana of the recent relationship crimes that lubricated her star ascension, before Schaena pivots to the once-upon-a-time everyone on the planet flirted with her even if no one else remembers.
“Tell me I’m pretty,” Schaena, always. “No, again! Tell me again!”
Only 10 of those admirers got a restraining order to halt proceedings, and since two of those were John Mayer, it technically only counts as one.
“It’s two,” John Mayer interrupts. “I had to make sure she couldn’t reach me by land or sea.”
“That still leaves air!” Schaena shouts, quickly scrawling down the name of her next song.
Sandoval and Schwartz disappear to discuss the injustice of consequences for actions, while Ariana tries to explain for the hundredth time that the manipulation window has been closed, and if her ex wants to keep smashing into it like a lost bird, that’s on him.
“Stop shoving him on me,” Ariana snaps.
“We’re leaving,” Katie calls Schwartz to let him know he should get his stuff.
“Could you just grab it?” Schwartz asks, assuming Katie is still his mommy replacement.
“Bye!” Katie is retired.
Katie and Schwartz then attempt to have a conversation about Katie’s mattress snacks with lost cast member Max, and for the first time Schwartz looks damaged.
“Maybe we could get dinner sometime,” Schwartz is not over it.
“I don’t want to get dinner sometime,” Katie is over it.
If Schwartz is going to pursue Katie all over again he’s going to need to slough off roommate and sometimes-girlfriend Jo first, which is going to be a challenge since she describes him as her “favorite person ever” thanks to a shared love of robot-noises and rubberface expressions. Jo’s not equipped to deal with the cast’s level of toxicity without a juice cleanse, so she opts for sabotage and bleaches the high holy fuck out of Schwartz’s hair instead.
“Joseph!” Schwartz always has a dumb nickname at the ready.
“Ha!” Jo’s revenge-do succeeds in failing.
This look carries him into some kind of speed-dating swingers’ party, where he courts multiple women while Jo hates herself in the bathroom. The cast’s kryptonite is direct confrontation, but Jo chooses it anyway, and asks WTF is up with dating her for months, living with her, and professing love before going lady-shopping.
“Have you seen Seeking Sister Wife?” Schwartz asks. “How about From Couple to Throuple? That one is on Peacock, so…”
Jo tabulates that she’s been played by someone who speaks in moop-moop voice when he doesn’t want to be the bad guy, then feigns ignorance when the tears start falling. Schwartz stays in character, while she retreats to privately process her failed romance with someone who seemed so perfect when they were chicken-clucking gesturing and bleeping together over burritos.
With Jo on the ropes production is desperate for more awkward Katie and Schwartz time, so we’re asked to believe they’re pursuing the same romantic lede, which is so contrived it’s not worth acknowledging beyond this. Where Katie truly shines is when she’s forced to engage with Sandoval’s scripted faux-apology tour.
“I just wanted to say I’m really sorry—“
“Let me stop you right there,” Katie retorts, every single time.
What’s Lala up to? Nothing, but she has imported her entire extended family for an assist, while proceeding to plan a second child via sperm donation, so it can be “hers” exclusively. Since this isn’t gross enough, she invites all the ladies to weigh in on the potential donor at a party at Lisa’s pink palace, where everything tacky happens, and women instantly become girls.
“Who cares!” Lala toasts with sparkling water, which is like, her thing now that she needs a thing.
“We choose Kyle!” Ariana shouts, and somewhere on Love in Paradise Kyle pauses mid-crunch.
Meanwhile, James is thriving, after giving up drinking, getting a house with Ally, and celebrating a happy reunion with long-lost dog Graham aka Hippie. He’s booking big arenas and major dates with his DJ work, but on VPR his steady gigs still happen at SUR, and he’s forced to entertain opening for Sandoval’s karaoke cover band. Sandoval starts going off on a tangent about his heartbreak over Raquel’s false imprisonment at some deprogramming camp for troubled teens, but James shuts it down with reminders that for years he claimed to be fully in-love with Ariana, and his heartbreak should be assigned to the disintegration of that union — not the side piece.
“Go push buttons on a laptop,” Sandoval whines.
“In Vegas?” James is not going to suffer a self-esteem drop from a worm with a mustache.
Ally tries to sell herself as a reformed Swiftie and an aspiring astrologer, which is more believable than Rachel’s pageant lines about helping children, so go off. She smartly keeps her distance from Lala and Schaena, who spiral further down the jealousy toilet with each passing episode, as they scramble for reasons to welcome Sandoval back to the fray and gloss over their own historic hypocrisy.
Schaena and Lala bond over their lack of understanding about real estate law, and Ariana’s unwillingness to accept a low-ball buyout offer from someone who used her good credit to fund a bar and second mortgage. Sandoval insists he will buy her out, so Ariana’s lawyers say that’s fine, and true to form, Sandoval has none of the money for this, since he already squandered his mother’s retirement.
This is still somehow branded as Ariana being unreasonable, while LVP tut-tuts about a supposed mental health crisis Sandoval experienced while he was mocking other people’s mental health.
“I think it should be obvious I’m team misogyny by now,” LVP clucks, adrift without someone to infantilize.
If that wasn’t convincing enough, LVP shows up at the shell of a sandwich shop, and is disappointed that her forced relationship between Ariana and Katie and her grifter friend Penny isn’t working.
“Here’s all the delays we haven’t enjoyed while working with your recommended COO,” Katie isn’t dumb.
“We have her contract with our lawyers,” Ariana adds, because she’s really come to appreciate the role legal experts play in her life.
“But if you have lawyers, how will you trust someone else to profit from promoting your likeness?” LVP thinks it should be clear why she picked the Toms by now.
Contracts stipulate that Kyle Chan has to perpetually resurface on this series like herpes, and a planned store opening in San Francisco means it’s time to dust off the 25th version of “Good as Gold” for whoever wants to hear it. Sandoval is tapped to manage the logistics of this opening, which he’s eager to do, and volunteers the services of his sound guy.
“I’ve never done a sound check ever,” Schaena doesn’t have to say this, but does anyway.
This also creates another opening for Schaena to fully forget that Ariana’s breakup isn’t something that happened to her.
“You’re the only person who has always had my back from day one,” Schaena actually says to the guy who called her ridiculous for ever thinking they were friends.
Lala calls while Sandoval and Schaena are playing nice-nice, to make sure Sandy knows not to come to her 33rd birthday burlesque party.
“You’re only 33?” Sandoval’s as shocked as everyone at home.
“Whatever, eternal 40,” Lala counters.
“It’s PREVENTATIVE,” Schaena snaps from the tippity top of plastic surgery mountain.
The whole team is bound for San Francisco for Kyle Chan’s opening, and Brock wants to plan a “roaring twenties” party where everyone dresses like gangsters from the 30s. Ariana’s new boyfriend Dan also plans to attend, but before they board a flight with the riff raff they go out on a cute dinner where both seem genuinely smitten with each other. Dan’s got a firm NYC vibe, and stiffens when Ariana suggests relocation to the superficial capital of the country. He’s not keen, and all I see is an opportunity for an NYC-based show and future interaction between Ariana and the Summer House crew.
“How is it possible I haven’t been engaged to him yet?” Lindsey scans her instagram followers for any possible overlap.
Meanwhile, Sandoval readies to wow no one with his band-of-sorts, and the person writing the closed captions delivers by describing his bid at trumpet playing as *plays discordant notes*. James shows up to watch the gig, and Tom’s mom is already on deck, and stares at the stage like she’s captivated by her favorite televangelist and is going to be seized by the holy spirit, as soon as the lithium wears off.
“Yike,” Vy’s go-to line really works here.
Before the show is even over the venue scrambles to take his name off the marque, and Jo and Schwartz assemble outside to revisit their separation. Jo demonstrates the moves she learned at her latest improv class, and Schwartz asks to perform his one man wishy-washy act. Jo consents, and he says he feels weird with the distance between them, but wants their status as friends to be clear, but also doesn’t want to rule out getting married in eight years.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about,” protests Jo, who has too many receipts reflecting his habit of professing undying love and then taking it back.
Dan seems to know his presence on the show will inspire speculation that he’s a screen-chaser, so he opts out of a planned group boat outing in favor of working out and getting a massage. Everyone else heads to pier 39, where Lala uses her laser-sharp people reading skills to hone in on everything she overlooks in herself. Schwartz attempts to hold Katie’s hand for the first time in 15 years, and Katie tests the battery on her taser in case she needs to use it. Brock reminds everyone that Schaena recommended warm clothes but no one paid attention, so maybe folks should go on a spending spree at local shops before they board the SS Minnow for a three hour tour.
Schwartz tells Sandoval he’s been thinking about his proposal that they live together and collectively pay a $12K a month mortgage, and his mind is telling him no, but his body is telling him yeah.
“So I’m saying yes,” Schwartz announces, and Sandoval is super relieved he’s that much closer to still not being able to buy Ariana out.
On board the boat the weather starts getting tough, and the tiny ship is tossed, which ups the opportunity for a rogue wave to knock someone’s cell phone into the sea. All that build up has no delivery, but James does find the fire for a few random swings around a pole.
“Whee! I’m fun!” James is an army of one.
After the trip Sandoval dares the sea lions to attack, but they think they’ve already had their fill of microplastics, and some tragic twist of fate leaves Ariana trapped in conversation with Brock.
“Have you considered getting over your breakup for my wife’s benefit?” Holy shit Brock.
“So she can be buddies with the guy who screamed at her last week?” Ariana hasn’t sniffed glue since high school.
“Here’s a bland statement about forgiveness…” Brock says things.
“You don’t have to forgive anyone,” Ariana with the truth. “Gray rocking and going no contact is the only way to avoid manipulation. That’s me. I’m a grey rock.”
“I am the walrus!” a sea lion with an identity crisis retorts.
“I’m Schaena’s rock,” Brock tries. “And people have always said I’ve got rocks in my head, so I get it.”
“Not really,” Ariana’s familiar with how men on this show work. “I’m retired from diapering my man-baby. There’s power in female rage. And there never seems to be any issue with male rage.”
“Male rage whaaaa…” Brock’s sniffing glue habit is active, as the editors provide a little montage of all the mantrums that have tied the show together since this season’s premiere.
Brock derps away to get a haircut from the wrong era, and everyone gets ready for the historically inaccurate theme party, and Lala knocks on the door of Ariana’s room for a chance to spot Dan in a towel.
“I’m not mad,” Lala’s eyes keep going up and down, while Dan seems to immediately identify the bullshit before him.
Dan passes on the group dinner in favor of a private dinner with one of Ariana’s best friends, but he does iron all of Ariana’s clothes and lay them out for her, so Ann should know the personal assistant competition is heating up. It’s hard to tell if Dan is defensive about the coming interrogation, if he’s yucked out about sharing airspace with Sandoval, or if he just wants nothing to do with all of this.
“He (Sandoval) hasn’t done anything to me,” Dan explains. “But I know what he’s done.”
“I need to go before my lady-boner shows,” Lala excuses herself.
James splish splashes balls-deep in the bathtub with a rubber duck, while Ally tries to puzzle out Dan’s reluctance to attend dinner.
“Have you met us?” James asks, before humming a few bars of Rubber Ducky. “He might not even be able to stand being in the room with Sandoval. And not just because of the smell. Did you hear he’s moving in with his loser best friend so they can go nowhere together? Swan dive into bubbles!”
Everyone arrives at a bar or something, with James looking Peaky Blinders, Schwartz in a brown suit with snaps down the sides, Lala playing flapper, and Brock looking like a bouncer at a Berlin sex club. Someone notes Ariana and Sandoval wear similar shoes, and Ariana seems hypnotized by her phone as a means of avoiding looking up for too long.
Wing-woman Katie is ever at the ready, so she and Ariana take in the view until Schwartz saunters over to announce they look like a duo.
“We’re the new Tom-Tom,” Katie smirks.
Schwartz admits he’s still subservient, and is eager to hit on his ex-wife.
“You like me again,” he tries.
“No I don’t,” Katie retorts.
Schwartz goes on to propose a one-night stand of binge-eating snack food and scrolling in silence, but Katie isn’t nostalgic for her mistakes. She thinks in a few years Schwartz will brand her the one who got away, and she’s going to stay away just to make sure that happens.
Schaena finds a secluded spot to go outside with Sandoval to talk logistics, while Ariana paces alone, texting Dan that she’s got leftovers for him. He responds he’s stuffed and a little drunk, and his pushing away is getting distracting. Sandoval insists to Schaena that he feels good about Dan’s presence, because that way someone is there for Ariana. Schaena tries to get him to apologize for weaponizing her mental health, and Sandy admits that he does feel bad about that, and this almost seems sincere, so they indulge in an extended hug.
“I helped Ariana clean her house too,” Schaena reminds everyone at home, just in case we were landing too hard on her being awful.
“Oh, I’m still just here to rage bait,” Lala interjects, eager to resume instigation duties once her sparkling water hangover subsides.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! The rest of the season will be recapped in May! patreon.com/fractalfay

Hi All,
Throwaway for anonymity.
I’m a hobbyist photographer who has been shooting in a serious capacity for 7 years. Prior to that, I sporadically took photographs of friends, family, travel, and other things that interested me.
But in 2017 I decided to really dedicate myself to photography and begin to put a serious effort into improving and understanding visual arts. I read books, took a class in college, and spent time learning about composition, light, as well as the technical and artistic aspects of photography.
My primary type of photography is portraiture. I love taking photos of people and nothing thrills me more than when someone loves a photo I’ve taken of them and uses it to represent themselves.
While I have had a few paid gigs throughout the years, I’ve largely worked in what is known as TFP, or trade for print. Basically it is two or more individuals coming together to create art where no money is exchanged and the end product is art which all parties can add to their portfolios (photographer, model, makeup artist, digital retoucher, stylist, etc.)
Last October I came down with a bout of what I expect was my first ever case of symptomatic COVID. While I had been very physically active up to that point, a regular weight lifter and cyclist, I took the experience of COVID shortness of breath as a challenge and it spurred me to take up running seriously for the first time in my life.
It’s been an incredible journey learning about running form, different workout programming, and running several races. It has been rewarding and has enriched my life considerably, I am very grateful for it.
Near the beginning of 2024 I decided to join my love of photography with my new passion for running. I started attending local races and taking photos of runners. Sometimes race organizers would see me and ask if they could have copies, to which I’ve obliged and provided small, local non-profit organizations with photos from their races at no charge.
I’m fortunate to have a very good career and have no desire to turn my creative pursuit into a job, or even a side income. I am focused on my career and photography is a way for me to step well outside of my normal mindset and exercise my brain in ways I otherwise wouldn’t be able to.
In April I found a local race which was a new type I hadn’t photographed before- a trail race. These races take place off road on dirt and rock paths of various types of terrain. They’re more challenging than parking in a parking lot and walking to a starting line.
Because this race was ~1 hour away from me I wanted to ensure that the race organizer knew I was coming and was ok with it since I didn’t want to waste a Saturday morning driving 2 hours for nothing if I were turned away or denied access to the trail while the athletes were competing.
The race organizer was happy to have me but shared that he couldn’t afford to pay me as he had already hired another photographer. I told him that was no problem, this was entirely in the pursuit of art and pleasure for me and he could use the images in social media with credit to me.
Some days later, before the race, the race organizer announced who the official photographer would be in an Instagram post. I had heard of this individual before. We were mutuals on IG and had exchanged a very limited number of pleasantries, but nothing more.
The day of the race I made a point to arrive very early and was there 30 minutes before the race. Introduced myself to the race director and thanked him for having me there. Just a few minutes before the race the other photographer arrived. I made a point to introduce myself and tell her that I admired her work and that I had cleared it with the race organizer that I be there. I also told her I would work to stay out of her way and to not hesitate to let me know if there were any concerns.
The race proceeded and we both began a long walk down the trail, following the competitors, she had a sizable lead on me for about 30 minutes as I took a moment before heading out to gather my equipment. Eventually I caught up and we made small talk several times throughout several hours as we encountered and re-encountered each other throughout the trails.
We talked about the event, the weather, the landscape, equipment, and technique. They were small pleasantries, but they were pleasant and everything seemed to be amicable.
I only stayed for the first few hours of the event and the next day shared a story on IG with a photo of my laptop, showing that I had a lot of photos to edit and would be working on them. The photographer messaged me and asked if I would refrain from sharing any photos until they shared theirs.
This was an unusual request and not something I had ever been asked before. I did not feel as if it was a big inconvenience to me so I agreed, no problem.
4 days pass. My photos were ready to share 1 day after the photographer asked me to wait. In the meantime we exchanged a few messages and paid compliments to each other. The photographer was very kind to me and complimentary of my work.
On the 4th day, the photographer told me that they were just waiting for the race organizer to make a post and that they had shared the images with the organizer the day prior. I looked and confirmed that the organizer had indeed made a post. I communicated this to the photographer and they told me to go ahead and post.
Since I had been sitting on my photos for a few days, I decided to cook up some nice slideshow slides for my IG story. So when it was time to post I was ready and deployed the images, ending with a link to the full gallery for participants to download.
The photographer was not pleased, apparently there was a problem that I had posted my gallery link before the race organizer shared theirs.
Our conversation, which I will link below in an image gallery, ends with the photographer effectively ending the conversation and unfollowing me.
Before and after they have unfollowed me, I’ve received a variety of messages from race participants and their family members thanking me and complimenting the photos.
I feel like the photographer either tried to change the conditions or was not specific enough on what they wanted from me. I tried to be very polite and kind throughout the process, but really felt like that was all pointless after how they handled the situation.
See the attached conversation which I’ve anonymized to get a full, firsthand account of how all of our conversations went down.
https://imgur.com/a/6H4j4mV
AITAH?

I'm a FT employee on about $65K supporting my partner and our child who is only a few months old. We're renting at $530/week and living a relatively simple life.
Recently I did some really reckless gambling on my credit card, which I know is just so risky and carries way too much risk. I was about $6K ahead at one point and kept telling myself to stop. Then in one night I lost it all and maxed out my card, which fortunately has a limit of $7K.
I don't need it pointed out how foolish I've been. I know. I'm already seeing a psychologist for anxiety and managing stress, so I'll definitely be bringing this issue to our next appointment. I've had a few hangovers from gambling in the past, but rarely ever anything like this. Only once was it comparable to this amount of money. I'm also going to self-exclude myself through BetStop, will check if my banks can also block any gambling transactions, and do whatever else I can to seal off the possibility of gambling again.
Anyway, I'm trying to not get too depressed and just put it all into perspective. It's not a catastrophic loss, but it's enough to really make me pull my head in and make some big changes in my life. The last thing I want to do is let down the people who mean the most to me in life and who depend on me.
What is the best way to get this debt into a manageable payment cycle while I deal with the more important underlying issues? I know I can probably talk to ANZ about it and request to make repayments on the sum without interest. Is that right?
I'm also considering a balance transfer for a period that is adequate for me to be able to pay the debt off before interest would apply.
Although the main thing is just stopping any form of gambling at all and paying the debt off as quickly as possible, preferably through an arrangement where interest doesn't apply, I would like to avoid anything that has a very negative impact on my credit score.
Besides this utterly stupid mistake I've made, life has been getting better and better for a long time. It's knocked me sideways to do something so reckless like this. I just want to clean up this mess while minimising financial strain on my family. So I'm hoping I can pay it off over 30 months or something like that.
I do have family who might help me out with the debt if I own up to what I've done and assure them that I'll not make the same mistake again. But I'm just so embarrassed about it that I'm looking for ways to get it sorted out without mentioning it to others.

The young man looked up with drunken red eyes into the man’s face. “You must not have paid much attention. Now sit your ass down.” He finished his command with an exaggerated gesture towards the booth. The man, bewildered, obliged him.
The young man plopped awkwardly into the booth opposite the man, nearly slumping over sideways.
“I tell ya what, son, I haven’t been this wasted in decades. At my age, the hangovers were just too hard. But this…” He held his soft-skinned hands out for the man to see. “This is just truly amazing.”
The man studied the young fellow’s face intently. Sure enough, some of the features were recognizable.
“It's me, ya jackass! I told you months ago, my last imprint was taken in my twenties!”
The man's head canted in confusion. “I thought you were implying that your imprint was no longer viable.”
The young boss slugged his bourbon. “Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have been.” He finished the liquor with another gulp and turned to signal the bartender with an impatient whistle.
The man’s brow furrowed in thought. “So, what are the circumstances that kept it viable?”
The boss abandoned his attempt to flag down the bartender and turned back to the man. “Well, let's just say that money can buy just about anything. Especially when you buy outside of Stanton’s crippled medical system.”
He paused to give the man room to express his amazement, or perhaps his disbelief, but the man only stared in shock. Disappointed, the boss merely shook his head at the man.
“Y’know, when I hired you, I thought your stoic silence was due to your years of spacefaring work, perhaps in conjunction with your recent grief. I’m starting to think you’re just a little slow.”
“So, where’s Farmboy?” the man asked, finally finding his voice in the midst of the bewilderment.
“Farmy? He’s alright. My regeneration was automatic upon my death; function of a little implant I’d been carrying around in my old noggin for years. Like a dead man’s switch, as soon as my brain stopped wavin’, the… we’ll call it “officially unofficial” medical facility received the trigger to re-print my body. I was awake within minutes. Farmy on the other hand, well he took a day or two. Oh, he’s awake now, but he’s none too happy, I can assure you.”
The boss’s eyes went distant as he replayed some scene in his mind’s eye. He picked up his glass, forgetting that it was empty, and tried unsuccessfully to sip. He was drunk enough that he didn’t even seem to notice.
“No, he didn’t take too kindly to bein’ tortured, gunned down and vaporized. I’d say he took the whole experience pretty hard. He was just as shocked as you when twenty-something me came bustin’ into his room, laughin’ and dancin’ a jig. He was fit to be tied, I tell ya. I doubt he’ll sign on for Blackie’s next voyage. Speaking of which…”
The boss slammed his empty glass down. “Where’s my ship?”
The man swigged his beer. “She’s laying low, parked a couple million kilometers off Hurston. I hired transport here, and paid extra for the confidentiality.”
“Good, good.” the boss praised. “I knew you were a smart one. A little slow to speak, perhaps. Now, give me the coordinates. I’ve made a new contact here. We can move the rest of the cargo, but we’ll have to-”
“I already sold it.” the man interrupted him. The boss’s face tightened.
“What’s that?”
The man unzipped his flight suit, reached inside and produced a scrap of paper.
“These are the coordinates where you’ll find Black and Yela. You’ll find her repaired and fueled up, but our precious cargo… well, my precious cargo, is long gone.”
The man pulled a prepaid credit chip from his flight suit and plopped it down on the table.
“Here’s yours and Farmboy’s cut.”
Distrust growing on the young boss’s face, he snatched up the credit chip and used his mobiglass to access it. He glared at the man over the holographic readout.
“This isn’t even a quarter, much less two thirds.” his young features began to flush red.
The man folded his arms. “Don’t worry, I paid for your repairs out of my portion.”
“Just who the hell do you think you are!?” the boss roared, drawing the attention of everyone capable of hearing him over the loud music.
“You’re welcome.” the man answered. “You have your ship back, and that’s still several million credits that you didn’t have before. You’re a rich man, boss. I just happen to be richer.”
“I took you in, you ungrateful little twerp! I paid you well beyond your share of each take! I took pity on you in your little crusade to raise money to save your wife and kid! But this? Double-crossing? This is how you repay me?”
The man unconsciously turned to survey the crowd, then turned back to the boss. “The way I see it, we’re square. I gave you stolen contracts, you paid me what we agreed upon. You made thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of extra credits off of me. But this whole ordeal with the drugs and the smugglers… This is a whole different ball game. In the end, I saved your ship, and I rescued you from the clutches of that gangster. Your ship is repaired, and you’re several million credits richer. We’re even.”

What a burden drinking was for me. Started when I was 13 but very infrequently, then by the time I was 19 it was every weekend, at least. It just got worse over the years. By the end I was drinking almost every day. Hangovers were the worst and the anxiety that came with it was insane. In 2017 I stopped in January for 6 months after there was a crisis in my life. In June I picked up a pint of vodka and before I knew it I was back to and had exceeded my old levels. Interestingly, every time I would attempt sobriety and get a bit of time behind me my pattern of usage would drastically increase the next time I'd inevitably go back. Almost as if I was making up for "lost time". By the time May 2018 rolled around I had enough. At that point I had been drinking for over 20 years and it had been at least 15 since I realized I had a problem. I was tired of watching the years go by and not making any changes. Alcohol is especially hard to quit because its one of the few drugs that people question why you not using it in certain situations. Now I just tell people I've already used up my life time supply of drinking credits and they usually figure out what I mean. I've been sober from booze for almost 6 year now, sober from weed for 4 years and while there is still a lot of work to do on myself I'm in a better place than I've ever been.

What started as a typical New Years Eve gig at a newly renovated hole-in-the-wall has become something far worse.
I’m the bass player (insert punch line here). I’m pretty good too, although I only play part-time. Back in the day, I played with Velvet on Fire. You won't remember us. We played one gig. For six people. Then our singer, Rod Brimstone, leapt onto someone's table, and urinated. Talk about Game Over. But I digress.
My latest group, a blues-rock cover band called Falling Forward, was hired to perform three sets of music. The trouble started when the redhead arrived. I was at the bar, minding my own business, when out of the blue, a radiant redhead, clad entirely in black leather, grabbed my ass.
“Whatcha drinking?” Her voice sounded like an ashtray. She was tall, with emerald eyes, and a sleeve of tattoos.
I did a double-take. “Um,” I gulped. “Whatever yer buying.”
She winked, twirled her lip ring, then slid her icy fingers between my legs. Subtlety was not her strength. The beer arrived and we cheersed. She said her name was Rosetta. I introduced myself as Derek the Bass Player, while forcing her hand further north. Then, after some throwaway small talk, I sauntered towards the stage, more-than-ready for the band’s third and final set.
Falling Forward played a raucous set. Mick, the lead singer and harmonica player, worked the audience into a frenzy. Leading the party was Rosetta, dancing sexily, swinging her hips too and fro, fist-pumping and cat-calling.
When the band finished its final set, I started loading the gear into Mick’s van. I was exhausted, with little patience for patronizing drunks, pestering me. Despite this, the redhead came strutting over. Next thing I know, I’m slow-dancing to Every Rose has its Thorn, via karaoke. Ugh. I didn’t know which was worse: the drunken, out-of-tune singing, or being forced to dance to it.
Her perfume smelled like sweet summer rain, but her exploring hands were icebergs. We wiggled and wormed along the crowded dance floor until finally (and thankfully), the song ended. Next came the tequila. Things get blurry by this point.
Somehow, despite the redhead’s relentless flirting, I finished loading the gear, and Mick drove me home. She must’ve gotten my phone number, because the following morning, I awoke to a flashing phone (and one helluva hangover).
HEY HANDSOME, the redhead texted, CUM OVER. Included was a video of her masturbating.
Not gonna lie, I was kinda turned on. Don’t judge. It had been a while since I’d had sex. My hormones got the best of me. Still, I had my reservations. Rosetta was a bit over-the-top for my tastes. And that’s putting it mildly. So, I reached out to Mick, asking for advice. His reply was instantaneous: “Strike while the kettle’s hot.”
And that’s exactly what I did.
Rosetta greeted me with opened arms and ruby lips. Her perfume was potent, her green eyes sparkling with bad intentions. She led me into her bedroom. To my dismay, Velvet on Fire's one-and-only event poster was pasted onto her her wall, below a giant Nine Inch Nails poster. I gulped. She was one of the six who saw my old band.
"I LOOOVE music," she said softly, in between kisses.
Then she got to work.
I left her apartment thinking I would never see her again. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The redhead was relentless, texting me day and night, sending naughty pics, insisting I ‘CUM OVER’. Finally, I caved. (Yes, I’m weak, spare me the lecture.)
This time was different. Rosetta was banged up, her face a barrage of bruises; her eyes were puffy and red, her bottom lip split open. “Bar fight,” she said, while sucking my earlobes. “Bitch got the worst of it.”
Bar fight??? Clearly, this redhead was bad news. I wanted to leave right then and there. Should have, too. Then none of this would’ve happened. But it was too late. I was trapped. She led me into her bedroom. We did The Dirty, then I left, having no intention of speaking to her again. This time I meant it.
The redhead kept sending naughty pics, but I ignored them. After a week or so, I thought she’d gotten the hint. Her messaging stopped. Then out of the blue….
DING.
My phone flew off the couch. Rosetta’s name splashed across the screen. I groaned. She sent me a song; a song which has haunted me ever since: I Put a Spell on You. Not the popular version, but a much darker and sinister-sounding one. I disliked it immediately.
I replied, saying I was super busy (which was true), and that we should ‘remain ‘friends’ (which was not true).
Her response gave me chills:
UR MINE ;)
Things escalated.
I work at a local music shop. The following day, my boss greeted me harshly. He seemed upset. “Look at this!” He handed me an old Velvet on Fire poster.
I gasped. Then I tripped and fell backwards, knocking over an entire row of guitars.
“YOU IDIOT!” my boss snapped. “That’s coming off your pay.”
Grudgingly, I gathered the guitars and checked for dings, but my mind remained on the poster; or more accurately, the note written on the back of it:
UR MINE!!!!
“The poster was nailed to the door,” my boss scoffed, shaking his head. “People these days….”
My mind went sideways. The note was written in Rosetta’s rosy lipstick. Was she stalking me? Who would do such a thing? Making matters worse, later that week, Mick messaged me with a song request: I Put a Spell on You. Coincidence, I told myself. But I didn’t believe it.
Sometime later, I met a lovely woman named Melanie, who was cute and timid and polite. She dressed modestly and wore little-to-no makeup. She was the antithesis of Rosetta. Since Falling Forward were due to perform that weekend, I invited her to the show. Melanie was delighted.
As the weekend grew nearer, so did my anxiety. This was a terrible idea. We were playing the same hole-in-the-wall as before. Rosetta would certainly be there. How would she react to seeing me with another woman? Maybe, I hoped, she would get the hint and leave me the hell alone.
Oh, how naïve I was.
Melanie sat up front. She seemed in good spirits. But I was nervous. I kept scanning the bar, looking for you-know-who. Then, as the band launched into I Put a Spell on You, a cold shiver slid down my spine. The barroom turned cold as ice.
The redhead.
She sat next to Melanie.
I nearly died.
During set break, I remained on stage, acting busy. Truth is, I was panicking. How could I be so stupid? The last thing I wanted was a confrontation. On cue, the redhead came rushing over. With beers. She offered me one. I said thank you, then awkwardly sat with Melanie, who kept asking if I was okay. I wasn’t. My pits were soaked with sweat. I was tripping over my words, barely able to speak. All I could do was sip my beer and pray something dreadful didn’t happen.
The redhead, meanwhile, was tapping the table with her razor-like nails, staring at me. Her cold and calculated glare gave me the creeps. Finally, under the weight of the world, I excused myself, and went to the bar. Before my drink arrived, a pair of icy fingers fondled my private parts.
“Hey handsome.”
Rosetta’s face was fiery-red. Her lips, like blackened cherries, pursed into a scowl. She cracked her knuckles, twice, then nodded towards Melanie.
“Who’s the bitch?” Her hand reached down, cupping my ever-shrinking testicles.
“Well, you see… I….”
She squeezed.
“Whoah!” I freed myself. Then I scooted off to the restroom, away from prying eyes.
‘This is nuts,’ I told myself, splashing cold water on my face. Obviously, the redhead wasn’t playing with a full deck. But what could I do about it? I certainly couldn’t ask her to leave. And I wasn’t about to ignore Melanie. I was exasperated. I took a deep breath, then returned to the table. Melanie was frantic, her eyes trembling with terror. Apparently, Rosetta paid her a visit. I could only assume it went poorly.
“How DARE you,” Melanie spat. She marched out of the bar, leaving me with the bill. And without a date.
“You don’t need that bitch,” Rosetta snickered. “You’re mine.” Her hands booped my buttocks.
Mick, sensing trouble, meandered over, “Time to play, bro,” he said.
The band opened with New Orleans is Sinking, a local bar-band favorite. Everyone was dancing and singing along, including Rosetta, who jumped on stage and started grinding against me, plunking the bass strings. Then she tried pouring a full beer down my throat. Instead, she soaked the stage (and my bass) with suds. Whooping and hollering, she slipped and stumbled off the stage, resulting in a fantastic face-plant, taking a few patrons with her. It was a total debacle. A fight broke out. Soon thereafter, she got ejected, and the band was barred from ever performing there again.
The following day, I received a long-winded text from Melanie. Apparently, Rosetta threatened to kill her if she ever spoke to me again. YIKES. Then the redhead went on to disparage my reputation. NOT GOOD. Melanie concluded by saying she was busy and that we should just be friends. Oh, bittersweet irony. I was heartbroken. And furious.
DING.
The redhead:
I PUT A SPELL ON YOU….
DING.
BCUZ UR MINE!!!
I responded hastily: WE ARE OVER. IN FACT, WE NEVER WERE!!!! To further drive home the point, I added: PLEASE STAY AWAY.
I blocked her.
Things settled for a while. Life went back to normal. Then my credit card bill arrived.
‘This must be a mistake!’ I cried.
Only, it wasn’t. After an arduous hour, chatting with the credit card company, their conclusion was concrete: someone was using my credit card to purchase pricey perfume, clothes, leather boots and accessories.
The Redhead.
I spent the day chatting with the cops, who offered little help. The damned redhead was ruining my life, and it was up to me to stop her.
But how?
She denied everything, of course, and scolded me for such ludicrous accusations. Then she invited me back to her place. The nerve of this woman….
The following week, the unthinkable happened:
I was heading to bed when Dexter, my adorable Dalmatian, started going berserk. He should’ve been sleeping, cuddled in his cozy kennel in the yard, not barking. Cursing the mangy mutt, I went out back to check on him.
The night was moonless and stark. A chill crept into my bones as I crunched along the yard. The gate was open, which was odd. It should’ve been locked. While locking the gate, I detected a smattering of sweet-smelling perfume.
The redhead.
Dexter calmed down after gobbling some tasty treats. Meanwhile, I scanned the yard, searching for intruders. Then I stormed inside, angry and confused. Sleep couldn’t come. How could it? My mind kept returning to the redhead, and what deplorable deeds she was doing.
The following morning, I went outside to feed the dog. My heart was pounding like a kick drum at a heavy metal concert. Quickly, I panicked. Something was wrong. First off, the gate was open. Again. Plus, Dexter was being quiet. Too quiet. Which is unlike him. As I inched cautiously towards the kennel, the sweet smell of perfume grew stronger.
When I reached the kennel, I gasped. My heart sank into my shoes. Before me was Dexter, stewing in a pool of blood and gore. His eyeballs were gouged and bloodied, his tongue lying limply next to his mutilated body. Stapled to his mangy, blood soaked fur, was a Velvet on Fire poster. Stunned and horrified, I seized the poster. On the back, scribbled in crimson-colored blood, was a note:
UR MINE!!!
I vomited.
Connor, my roommate, was glaring at me from the kitchen, his eyes searing with suspicion. When I told him what happened, he turned ghost-white. Then he called the cops, who again were of little help. I was unhinged. Terrible thoughts tore through my troubled mind. Why Dexter? What did he do to deserve such a fate? And why me, for that matter? I’m not a bad guy. Then, with a heavy heart, I buried my dead dog Dexter. The feeling of being watched was impossible to ignore. Somewhere close, was the redhead, taunting me. Proving this, a song wafted through the crisp, early morning air: I Put a Spell on You.
DING.
UNKNOWN SENDER.
With shaky movements, I found my phone, and shrieked. On my phone was a picture of me burying Dexter.
DING.
UR NEXT!!!
I raced into the house and locked all the doors. Grief held me in its terrible grip while I wept. This was all too much, too fast.
DING.
Sighing, I looked down and nearly died.
I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, my phone read. BCUZ UR MINE.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/AdventurousClock6275 posting in AITAH
Ongoing as per OOP
Thanks to u/colorsofautomn for finding this BORU
1 update - Medium
Original - 17th April 2024
Update - 29th April 2024
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AITA for divorcing my wife over getting a massage
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My soon to be ex-wife and I are both in our late 30s. We've been together 12 years married for 10. We are in a dead bedroom. It was totally dead for 6 months before I filed for divorce. It was on life support/ICU for 5-6 years before that.
We both wanted to be younger parents, and both wanted 2 kids. We conceived our daughter almost immediately after getting married. When she was 6 months old we started trying to have the 2nd child. It never happened. After 3 years we started seeing fertility specialists and found out we both have pretty serious reproductive issues. The doctor told us our daughter was nothing short of a miracle, and said it was against all odds that we not only conceived but carried to term. It was after this that the sex life began to seriously decline.
Initially I thought it was just the pain of finding out, and knowing we wouldn't be able to afford the fertility options, and figured it would get better over time. It never did, it only got worse. 5 years ago I would say we had sex 15 to 20 times that year, in 2023 we had sex 3 times. I have tried everything to improve this, spicing things up, talking, suggested counseling. I more than pull my weight around the house. We both work and work basically the same hours. I'm telling this because the usual stuff I read on Reddit about how "The wife does it all" is not even close to true.
Over time I have grown more and more resentful. The thing that makes me the most resentful is she knows I have a high libido, and just doesn't care. I on the other hand know she loves to be rubbed on/massaged, and never took that from her. I probably rub on her 325 times a year. Almost every night I will rub her claves, shins, ankles and feet. 4 to 5 nights a month I will go big and do neck, shoulder, back, butt, hamstring, quads, shins, calves, ankles, and feet. I noticed that doing the big massages was the best way to get sex, as she was more likely to allow me to do the foreplay things I know work on her if I had already done this prep. I did them more often a few years ago but now not as much. The success rate was never that great, maybe 20% of the time, but in the last 2 years we are definitely in the single digits.
When we hit the 4 months of absolutely no sex, I decided I wasn't rubbing on her ever again. It only took 3 days for her to notice and she asked me to. I told her no, and I got angry. I said "Why should I, when you don't give a fuck about what I want.". Obviously not my finest moment and huge argument followed. Things got ice cold at home but I wasn't giving in, I was tired of all of it.
A few weeks ago she told me fine, I will just start seeing a professional masseuse. I said, "Then I will start seeing sex workers." She said that was cheating. I said "Fine, I won't but you will not get a massage from anyone else, that is also cheating.". She said I was being ridiculous and I said, "No, it's being touched in an intimate way by another, if I can't have that, neither can you, and I swear to fucking God if you do I will file for divorce that day."
The following weekend, she went to get her nails done, I know how long it takes for her to get her nails done. She came back almost an hour and half later than I expected. She didn't say anything just acted normal. I got on her credit card app on my phone and sure enough there was a $95 charge to the goddamn massage person in the same strip mall as the nail place.
I lost it, and when I did so did she. I think we both let out years of frustration on each other. True to my word though I called a divorce lawyer on Monday. The only part that upset me was my lawyer said based on these circumstances I couldn't list "Infidelity" as the reason for divorce and had to go with "irreconcilable differences."
Anyway she has been telling people we are divorcing because she got a massage. Since then I have had a number of family members/friends call me and say I'm an asshole. Some of them even when I tell them my real reasons, still think I'm an asshole and that my reasons aren't good enough. Personally, I think getting massage when told not to, is plenty of reasoning. So am I the asshole here?
Personal note: I reread this and I know it comes off angry. But I am angry, angry at myself for wasting so many years. But I'm also angry because this was just the ultimate fuck you, she just went and did it anyway and didn't even try to hide it. Literally went to the same place next to the nail salon and used her CC which I pay, like I wasn't going to see the charge.
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Comments
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Laughing_Dragon_77
The last straw is almost always something small and stupid. But it's just the latest in a long line of hurts.
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Hi_Limee
I know thats a kinda obvious thing but this was very well said.
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CheapChallenge
The massage was just the last final blow to this already dead marriage. Just divorce and let it die already.
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sqwiggy72
Definitely, the massage was just the final nail in the coffin. You didn't get a divorce over a massage but a dead marriage.
MysteryMan845
A sexless marriage = roommates with shared accomodations.

OOP: In the process

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Update - 12 days later
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While this is not official by any means at this point, I'll take it as a positive. STBX asked me to meet yesterday to hash out some details of the divorce, and it was actually pretty productive.
We agreed on a 50/50 custody arrangement. Basically week there week here. Becomes 2 weeks during summer break. We each keep our own retirements, splitting the savings 60-40 her favor. Each keep our primary vehicle.
I made a huge concession on the house, it was my idea. I want our child to grow up in that house. Ours was a 3 bedroom, with a finished basement and nice yard. I don't want her to live in a pair of 2 bedroom apartments. This is important to me. I'll be paying a "housing alimony" each month to offset some costs, since my rent and projected utilities etc are much lower than the mortgage/utilities/upkeep. We did agree on some stipulations that would end that.
If another adult should moves in (i.e. a boyfriend/new husband) my obligation ends immediately.
My obligation ends when our daughter moves out or turns 22, whichever comes first.
There's a bunch of different scenarios we talked about in terms of splitting the house if she wishes to sell it. I won't bore with all of that, but basically as long as I continue to make the alimony payment I'll get 40% at time of sale or a buyout.
I'm turning all this over to my lawyer this week, and he will write it up and send it to her lawyer. While she definitely had a "you are beneath me vibe", during our meeting, I'm happy this doesn't look like it will be an ugly divorce as I was very worried it would be. I assume our daughter is the motivating factor for her sudden amicable attitude.
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Comments
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Windermere15
Just want to say I’m a lawyer who has been through a divorce and this sounds kind of stupid. Clean break with assets and then a separate parenting plan. Do not mix them.
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FlyoverHangover
Thank you Same exact boat, I don’t practice family law but I’ve been in family court a few times and this sounds dumb as shit.
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MrJigglyBrown
If you read ops original post he is kind of stupid so yea
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I decided to replay Hades1 on hell mode again for the third time (first time was my early access file, second time was the full release). For context, I think I have around 90% winrate on 32 heat
First run I died to elysium. Chariots are just 100x more dangerous without the second dash
Second run. Only managed to afford death defiance and heal per chamber, not enough for the dash upgrade with I was hoping for. Got skelly's tooth but forgot that I had to equip it from the keepsake cabinet. Dark thirst from the shield so I bought that first.
First region, I got Zeus boons. Chaining STATIC DISCHARGE among the crowd with the shield throw makes the run quite easy, though the low health makes every mistakes hurt a lot, which I felt especially on Elisyum boss fight. Kept getting dionysus boons hoping for STRONG DRINK but kept getting "garbages" (TRIPPY SHOT, AFTERPARTY, POSITIVE THINKING. I managed to reach Styx, and for the last time hoping for a strong drink for the heal but got offered SCINTILLATING FEAST which I thought was bad because of having only one cast. Turns out it's still quite good especially with DOUBLE STRIKE. Managed to chew through the rest of Styx.
On to the final boss. It seems tanky single target is just not good enough with the shield throw->static discharge that carried me through. But TRIPPY SHOT'S SCINTILLATING FEAST with DOUBLE STRIKE definitely helped. It took quite a while and I really practiced extreme patience, stopping my attacks to focus on dodging. Lost my death defiance and was regretting not equipping Skelly's tooth. Anyway, turns out I don't need it since I won anyway.
Third run, finally got the double dash. Dark thirst on spear so I unlocked that next. First region, got offered the mandatory hammer and got offered CHAINED SKEWER. I will forever sing the praise of this almighty hammer upgrade. Got offered poseidon special first and hoping for RAZOR SHOALS to chain rupture Damage over Time on many enemies. Dionysus showed his face again and offered to exchange TEMPEST FLOURISH for DRUNKEN FLOURISH, which I accepted as I don't know when I will get RAZOR SHOALS. Heavily prioritized Poms of power for the poison special. Lemme tell you, it's like cheating. You keep your distance or even hide behind walls, throw chaining poison special, stock up to 5 hangovers, watch everything melt away. Won my third run with zero problem.
Now I'm at the point where I am quite confident I can keep my winstreak up until credits (as long as I don't unnecessarily pump up more heat than needed), but i feel like the story is messed up a little. Back in Early Access where I kept dying in runs and even winning being cut short, the story flowed naturally. People cheering you on, discussing about the mysteries behind your mother, repairing relationships along the way while you take care of your own. That felt more natural. But now going through like this, I can only imagine getting the ending credit scenes with Eurydice and Orpheus singing together without fixing their relationship, or probably not even meeting Than (i think my previous save has me meeting him on the 14th run) and already my own problem is solved. Also quite weird I finally met my mother, yet the flashback explaining the motivation for Zag to meet her haven't been played yet.
I know certain dialogues will account for that happening, but my headcanon says Zag probably died 100 times before meeting his mother, solved 90% of the story character dilemmas before getting the 10th win.

Howdy folks, first of all I want to thank everyone on this sub for all their tips and sharing their experiences. I lurked this sub for several months to help plan my trip and it was very successful thanks to all of the resources I read online including this sub.
To give back to the community I wanted to share my 32M solo trip experience to help ease anyone else's anxiety or if they just want to reference what to do or not to do.
Itinerary:
note: If I don't state what I ate that breakfast or lunch or dinner, it's probably because I just ate 7-eleven food. I always had some kind of 7-eleven bread in my backpack at all times.
--- Tokyo 4 days ---
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Day 1:

• Landed in afternoon,
• afternoon getting to Hotel in Asakusa called Hotel Trend Asakusa Tawaramachi
• night Shinjuku for food and karaoke at Big Echo

Day 2:

• Morning Asakusa Senso-Ji Tokyo Localized Tour group,
• Morning Sumida Park,
• Afternoon Shinjuku and Kabuki-cho,
• Dinner ramen at Menshou Taketora Main Branch
• night Tokyo Localized Tour of Shinjuku,
• later evening Golden Gai Bar Champion

Day 3:

• Morning trip to Totoro's Forest in Sayama Hill,
• later morning hung out at Sayama Nature Park
• afternoon Akihabara shopping
• night Takanawa Sakura Festival

Day 4:

• Breakfast Latte Art Mania in Shibuya
• Morning Shibuya for food and shopping
• Lunch Menchirashi Udon Harajuku
• afternoon Tokyo Tower exploring and shopping,
• night Shibuya at Bar Triangle

--- Kyoto 4(2) days ---
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Day 5:

• Morning Shinkesen to Kyoto,
• got to hotel Ryokan Kyoraku in early Afternoon,
• afternoon checked out Kyoto Imperial Palace,
• later afternoon visited Gion District,
• night visited Potoncho alley and hung out at Barcode
• ended night at a bar, Misty Moon, near Kyoto Station

Day 6:

• Morning Fushimi Inari shrine,
• afternoon exploring random areas around Kyoto
• Dinner at Denshichi Sushi
• night bar hopped from G Bar, Bar Dam, and back to Misty Moon

--- 2 Day Trip to Osaka from Kyoto ---
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Day 7:

• Morning went to Tenmangu Shrine
• Morning rode train to Osaka,
• morning exploring Dotonburi,
• lunch random Takoyaki spot in Dotonburi
• afternoon Shin Sekai area,
• night back to Dotonburi and going to a bar called Space Station
• dinner Oknomiyaki at a random spot in Dotonburi

Day 8:

• Morning rode train to Osaka,
• morning check out Osaka Castle,
• afternoon exploring streets and ate ramen at Chommage-shokudo Ramen-bu,
• afternoon went to Umeda Tower area(didn't actually go in),
• evening ride the Shinkesen back to Tokyo and hotel in Shibuya called Olympic Inn
• evening went to a bar in Shibuya called Female Leopard

--- Tokyo 2 days ---
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Day 9:

• Morning TeamPlanets Borderless in Koto City,
• afternoon shopping for souveniers at Tokyo Tower and Shibuya,
• evening went to an Izakaya in Shibuya. Can't remember which, I tried to get into three different ones but they were all full and I randomly stumbled into one that finally took me in

Day 10:

• Slowly woke up and packed and went to the airport and did some more last minute shopping

Length of trip:
Felt 10 days was a good amount. Got to hit up all the major spots and explore some random spots here and there. If you can't do anything more than 10 days; don't worry, you should totally be able to do the big 3 in that time and fill accomplished.
Pocket Wifi or E-Sim:
I was all ready to go with an Ubigi eSim having downloaded it and installed it before my flight. When I landed and tried to activate it I realized my phone was not compatible. Well then...
Luckily getting a pocket wifi is super easy in Narita airport and I just went to the first kiosk available which was SoftBank. For 10 days renting the pocket wifi ended up only being $72. Pretty good still.
The pocket wifi was stable and useful except when we entered a tunnel and maybe once every 2 days it would lose all connection. A simple turn off and turn back fixed it every time
Narita airport or Haneda airport:
So what everyone says is true and it is quite a long train ride from Narita to the city. On a random day for fun I just rode the train from Asakusa to nearby Haneda and it was definitely way closer. If you want to maximize your time as much as possible, Haneda is definitely the correct choice. However seeing as I was gonna be in Japan for 10 days, I didn't see saving 2 hours to and back as that big of a deal. But up to you.
Pasmo and Icoca cards:
Got the Pasmo card for Tokyo and Icoca card for Kyoto Osaka. Definitely a must pick up to make your life easier with the transportation and making quick purchases at 7-eleven. I didn't get the JR Pass, so no comment on that. I would've got them on my phone, but I have an android.
Navigating the trains and buses:
Day 1 I got lost 4 times trying to find my hotel and trying to get to Shinjuku... >_<
Best tip I can give you is if it's hard for you to remember the station name; it's easier to remember the station letter and number. It's much simplier knowing you are at station G04 and need to board the platform that will take you to station G11. Also be aware you are at correct platform and not going the opposite direction.
Google Maps got the job done for me. It can act funky sometimes if you go into a tunnel and Google Maps tries to reroute you and thinks you're on the streets walking. I found a useful thing to do was when you initially plan the route and train changes; take a screenshot on your phone so have the directions saved.
Decorum and respecting the culture:
If you're on this subreddit than you probably already done you're research on how to be on your best behavior as a tourist. Still it bears reminding to just use common sense. If everyone is lining up on the left side of the escalator then do the same. Unless you're in Osaka then all of a sudden everyone lines up on the right. Wear your backpack on the front if the place is crowded or the train is crowded. And when all else fails; do a small bow whenever you say sorry(gomen nasai), excuse me(sumimasen), thank you(arigatou).
Hotels:
I really enjoyed my first two hotels in Asakusa and Kyoto. The Asakusa hotel was at a nice location away from the hustle and bustle and was around a 10 minute walk from the nearest station. The Ryokan I stayed at didn't have a onsen(I have a tattoo so I didn't even wanna try), but it was still very quiet and peaceful. No kids allowed and also only a 10 minute walk from Kyoto Station. The third hotel in Shibuya was very eh. My entire floor smelled like smoke and room strongly smelled like smoke. Luckily they always leave you a fabric spray which I blasted the room with. Also always left the window open and the a/c fan blowing. Overall I think I would've stayed at a Ryokan more because it was such a unique and fun experience. But it's not like I go on vacation to spend most of my time at a hotel.
Laundry:
Every hotel had a washing machine and dryer. Very helpful. One time though they were both being used so I just walked to a laundromat 6 minutes down the street and threw my clothes in and got breakfast. Either way, pack light. I had pajamas, 4 pairs of jeans, 4 pairs of shirts, and three jackets that I would mix and match to make different outfits. I probably could've did it with 3 pairs of jeans and shirts honestly.
Debit and Credit Cards and Cash: I think there were only two instances where I encounterd cash only. Otherwise I had no problem using my cards.
ATM and pulling out cash:
I pulled out my cash always at 7-eleven atms. The rate was not the full amount as it should've been and was like 0.07 less or something. A fellow tourist friend told me that the ATM at Costco gave him the full exchange amount, but I never got a chance to go to Costco.
Language and Knowing Japanese:
A little goes a long way I think. I've watched anime and played japanese games for years so I picked up some words. To prep further I was listening to multiple "Learn Basic Japanese for Travelers" podcasts for several weeks. I wasn't able to hold a conversation in full japanese, but I could do basic responses and understand basic phrases. English will get you by in most tourist places and most restaurants had an english menu. The only place that was japanese menu only was the izakaya I visited.
Sakura and Cherry Blossom season:
I didn't emphasize it that much in the itinerary, but looking at sakura trees was one of my favorite parts. I didn't have to look hard or far for sakura trees. It felt like every other street would have some trees. Lots of times I would stumble upon a really pretty tree at a park and just sit underneath it for abit. My favorite moment was when I was walking by some sakura trees at Sayama nature park , the wind suddenly blew, and the petals all started to fall. Its like I was in a Bleach opening or something lol
Steps and Fitness:
So I averaged around 25,000 steps a day and maxed at 31,000 steps when I was in Osaka and hanging out at Dotonburi. Its definitely excessive compared to folks back at home, but I am solo and I enjoy just wandering around a new city and getting lost. I'm decently fit and have been doing a lot of stair master the past two months to prepare. But I was still surprised by the amount of steps and stairs I had to take. Some subway stations are at B3F, so that means going down 3 flights of stairs with your luggage and then up 3. I was able to get by, but I always tried to hide how hard I was breathing by the time I reached the surface. Also while exploring Tokyo there would just be random hills and inclines out of nowhere.
By the end of every day I was pretty tired and my feet were sore, but I would wake up the next day ready to go. The excitement of being there was enough to get me going. Though there was two days I had to pop some ibuprofen for the hangover and the achey muscles.
Like everyone has said before, bring some good walking shoes and get some Dr Scholls in that thing as well. And if you work remote like me, then make sure to start training back at home and get some steps in preperation.
Miscellaneous:

• I heard how big the crowds are in Tokyo but I was still shocked. Especially Shinjuku at night. The most tourists I 've ever seen as well. If you have anxiety with crowds be aware.
• Karaoke Bars was fun every time. I would usually be the only foreigner there and the bartender and some of the locals were always welcoming and friendly. After awhile they would always encourage me to sing and was asked at three different bars if I knew Cruel Angel Thesis lol. Instead I'd sing Bakamitai to live out the Yakuza dream.
• Fushimi Inari shrine is packed at the bottom like everyone says. I ditched the crowd and went on the Bamboo Hike Trail instead. Waaaayyy less people on that hike. It's relatively easy at first and halfway all of a sudden there's a marathon of stairs and I was pouring sweat. Luckily it's a nice forest area so it's plenty of shade and feels nice
• Going on walking tours was a nice way to meet other tourists and make some fellow tourist friends. As well as "foreigner friendly bars"
• The highly touted areas to visit like Shinjuku Kabuki-cho, Kyoto Gion District, Osaka's Dotonburi, etc are indeed giant tourist traps. But since it was my first trip it was fun to experience atleast once. If I ever go back I probably won't visit some of them again
• Try out the instagram influencer food spots, but also don't be afraid to try some random local spot. The instagram spots was always filled with foreigners, hah. It was still always good however. The local spots though just always felt a bit more authentic and was also just as good. Honestly, you can't go wrong with food.
• McDonalds was different but not amazing. It really wasn't that much better than what we have at America. However it was a nice place to sit and charge my power bank and pocket wifi

Anyway that about sums it up. Giant boring post, but I wanted to make sure I get everything out there. It was a really basic trip hitting up the three major cities, but that just means my next trip will be much more off the beaten path. Thanks again everyone for all your tips and I hope my trip's details can assist someone else in return.
Mata ne~

Like so many on here when I was younger I made some stupid decisions that got me into debt and it was something I had to work my way out of. Of course I thought I was 'smart' but the truth is I learned so so much because of the dumb mistakes I made.
Maybe many of us would still make stupid financial decisions even if we had all the best information and a better understanding of debt but I feel that we don't even try to educate people on it and I'm guessing if we are honest most of us if we could go back in time could make different decisions that would have resulted in a better outcome(financially)
We all could do things differently to have fewer student loans. We can rationalize out why some of our credit card use was 'justified' but I'm guessing we all were guilty of using credit irresponsibility for things that weren't even close to being necessities though I will admit that what we once considered 'wants' are sometimes today viewed as needs.
I learned a lot from making stupid and see how much better off financially some of my friends who may have been more frugal or made more sacrifices(whether it be going without something I felt I needed to buy or working more, whether it be a part time job or overtime). I still waste money on dumb stuff and while I can afford it it frustrates me. We today get nickeled and dimed more than previous generations with all sorts of streaming services. Just seeing how much free content there is, it is crazy that I still spend as much on all these different streaming platforms and I still spend as much time deciding on what to watch as watching it. We've become spoiled.
Maybe I just haven't heard about efforts being made but if we are why aren't we hearing more about teaching young people better financial habits? With all the variety of courses available at colleges(and how some are now becoming mandatory)...I'm surprised we aren't even seeing a push for a semester trying to educate students on finance(teaching good habits and the nuts and bolts of things kind of way). we all love the instant gratification we get spending money on things that aren't necessarily essential but just like we have fun going out and drinking too much the hangover in the morning can stink.
I know I'm long winded and use too many words to say what others might say in a few but seeing forums like this one and others like it on reddit, as well as personal experience, it just seems insane to me that we don't do more to teach better habits. Am I alone in thinking this or am I out of touch and there is a big effort being made to do this?

I couldn't sleep last night. The other day, someone asked me what the worst movie I ever saw was. I know there are worse ones, but this one is definitely the most recent one that stands out in my mind. And ever since, I haven't been able to get it out of my head.
I went to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 in theaters with my family last fall. The first one had been a staple in my household for over 20 years, endlessly quoted at every dinner. Last summer, we finally watched the second one (several years after it came out), and even though there were some funny parts, it didn't quite match the quality of the first one. Still, it was entertaining enough.
When the third one hit theaters, we decided we wouldn't fall behind, so we went to go see it. What a mistake.
As soon as the opening scene began with the "family photos" (really just screenshots from the first two movies in a picture frame slideshow template found on iMovie), I found out everything I needed to know. This was going to be a very, very bad movie.
The next two hours were agonizing and excruciating. I often found my mind wanting to wander, and I fought to pay attention to the movie playing in front of me. Not a laugh was heard throughout the entire theater. I felt like getting up, but I couldn't leave my family there.
Why was it so bad? So many reasons. There were entire scenes with characters on their own, just wandering around the beach aimlessly, with absolutely no effect on the plot or their own character development. I could tell from the actors' facial expressions that they received zero direction apart from, "Just walk that way and look over there."
The characters were all isolated (like in the painful final season of How I Met Your Mother), and any character that did have any sort of dialogue (like the aunt) was a caricature of themselves (I have to give her credit for trying). None of the jokes landed, and sometimes the delivery and timing was so bad that I felt myself physically cringe (squirm) in my seat.
The editing was choppy and off, sometimes cutting away too quickly and other times staying on a scene for several seconds too long. One of the characters (Victory) was endlessly annoying and unrealistic (like imagine if a kindergartener became the mayor of a town and repeated the same catchphrase in every scene). Some plot lines vanished into thin air, and other ones failed to make anyone care.
The whole thing just made me think the movie had been made as an excuse for the cast and crew to go vacation in Greece and, oh, make a movie too on the side. It was very difficult to see how Tom Hanks agreed to produce something like this. It was such a far cry from the first movie.
At the end (finally) when we walked out of the theater, my brother asked me for my honest thoughts. I turned to him and said, "That may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen."
Has anyone else seen this movie? What were your thoughts?

I just saw that unfortunately the original Table of contents for chapter discussion has been deleted. I thought it was a great resource esp considering many chapter links themselves have been deleted which could be accessed through here. This is just copy pasting, unfortunately I do not know the name of the original poster but full credits to them! Many links are currently read only links because I copy pasted from a deleted post, if you wish to participate in a discussion just change the np. -> www. in the link. I will try to slowly change all the links to the normal version but with so many links it will take quite a while if I manage to do it, so apologies. Anyways just reposting this because it was a great tool for readers and I think it should be there! The other links are in the comments because of reddit post limits. Okay so I have posted all the links to the latest chapter 10.11. However, there are a lot more branching comments here because for some reason reddit is not letting me upload larger ones, so I apologize for that. But all the chapter discussion threads are here, I have just replied to my comments down to the latest one. Its a bit inconvenient but hope this is helpful for new readers or anyone just wanting to access those threads!!

Special thanks to YellowTM for updating this. Will split it into two sections because even the ToC is too long for reddit now, second part is in comments. Please respect the community by not commenting/voting on these old threads
Chapters that are missing don't have discussion threads, most likely because they predate the subreddit :)

Volumes 1-10 ToC
1.00 C 1.01 C 2.32 H 2.33 2.34 2.35 2.36 G 2.37 2.38 Interlude S02 – The Antinium Wars (Pt.1) S02 – The Antinium Wars (Pt.2) 2.39 2.40 2.41 S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 1) 3.00 E 3.01 E 3.02 H 3.03 3.04 3.05 L 1.00 D 1.01 D 3.06 L 3.07 H 3.08 H 3.09 3.10 3.11 E 3.12 E 3.13 3.14 3.15 3.16 S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 2) 3.17 T 3.18 T 3.19 T 3.20 T 3.21 L 3.22 L 3.23 L 3.24 3.25 3.26 G 3.27 M 3.28 G 3.29 G 3.30 3.31 G S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 3) S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 4) S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 5) S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 6) S03 – Wistram Days (Pt. 7) 3.32 3.33 3.34 3.35 3.36 3.37 3.38 3.39 3.40 3.41 3.42 Interlude 4.00 K 4.01 K 4.02 K 4.03 K 4.04 K 4.05 K 4.06 KM 4.07 4.08 T 4.09 4.10 4.11 4.12 4.13 L 4.14 L 4.15 L 4.16 4.17 1.02 D 1.03 D 1.04 D 1.05 D 1.06 D 4.18 4.19 4.20 E 4.21 E 4.22 E 4.23 E 4.24 4.25 N 4.26 M 4.27 H 4.28 4.29 4.30 4.31 4.32 G 1.02 C 1.03 C 1.04 C 1.05 C 4.33 4.34 4.35 E 4.36 O 4.37 O 4.38 B 4.39 G 4.40 L 4.41 L 4.42 L 4.43 4.44 M 4.45 4.46 4.47 S02 – The Antinium Wars (Pt.3) S02 – The Antinium Wars (Pt.4) S02 – The Antinium Wars (Pt.5) 4.48 4.49 The Depthless Doctor Glossary 5.00 5.01 5.02 5.03 5.04 5.05 5.06 M 5.07 5.08 Interlude – Flos 5.09 E 5.10 E 5.11 E 5.12 5.13 5.14 5.15 5.16 S 5.17 S 5.18 S 5.19 G 5.20 G 5.21 E 5.22 G 5.23 G 5.24 L 5.25 L 5.26 L 5.27 5.28 5.29 5.30 G 5.31 G 5.32 G 5.33 B Interlude – Blackmage 5.34 5.35 H 5.36 5.37 G 5.38 5.39 5.40 5.41 5.42 5.43 Interlude – Niers 5.44 5.45 5.46 5.47 G 5.48 G 5.49 5.50 G Interlude – Bird 5.51 G 5.52 5.53 5.54 (Non-Canon) 5.54 Interlude – Krshia 5.55 G 5.56 G 5.57 5.58 5.59 Interlude – Pebblesnatch and Garry 5.60 5.61 5.62 Interlude 6.00 6.01 6.02 6.03 6.04 D 6.05 D 6.06 D 6.07 D 6.08 6.09 6.10 6.11 6.12 K 6.13 K 6.14 K 6.15 K 6.16 6.17 S 6.18 H 6.19 H 6.20 D 6.21 D 6.22 D 6.23 D 6.24 D 6.25 6.26 6.27 M 6.28 6.29 Interlude – Embria 6.30 6.31 6.32 6.33 E 6.34 E Interlude – Numbtongue (Pt.1) Interlude – Numbtongue (Pt.2) 6.35 6.36 E 6.37 E 6.38 6.39 6.40 E 6.41 E Interlude – Two Rats Interlude – Rufelt 6.42 E 6.43 E 6.44 E 6.45 E 6.46 E 6.47 E 6.48 T 6.49 6.50 I 6.51 A 6.52 K 6.53 K 6.54 K 6.55 K Interlude – The Titan’s Question 6.56 6.57 6.58 6.59 6.60 Interlude – Talia 6.61 L 6.62 L Interlude – Foliana 6.63 P 6.64 6.65 6.66 H 6.67 6.68 7.00 7.01 7.02 7.03 Mini Chapter #1 7.04 Interlude – Queens and Dragons 7.05 P 7.06 7.07 7.08 K 7.09 K 7.10 K 7.11 Interlude – Dancing and Brawling Interlude – Chocolate Gold Interlude – Chess and Ships Interlude – Chocolate Alchemy Interlude – Lifting Ants Interlude – Burning Alcohol Interlude – The Hangover After 7.12 G 7.13 K Mating Rituals Pt.2 7.14 T 7.15 R 7.16 L 7.17 S 7.18 M Interlude – Strategists at Sea (Pt. 1) Interlude – Strategists at Sea (Pt. 2) 7.19 7.20 Interlude – A Night in the Inn 7.21 KQ 7.22 D 7.23 LM 7.24 7.25 7.26 7.27 Interlude – The Gecko of Illusions 7.28 7.29 B 7.30 7.31 Interlude – A Meeting of [Druids] 7.32 D 7.33 I 7.34 C 7.35 C 7.36 C 7.37 7.38 7.39 A Interlude – Carriages and Conversations Interlude – Meetings and Friendships Interlude – Sand and Notes 7.40 ER Interlude – Food and Growth 7.41 7.42 M 7.43 G 7.44 7.45 7.46 K 7.47 K 7.48 K 7.49 Interlude – Experiments in Golems 7.50 7.51 7.52 7.53 7.54 7.55 E Interlude – Saliss the Adventurer 7.56 7.57 7.58 7.59 7.60 Interlude – The Tribes of Izril Interlude – The Innkeeper’s [Knight] 7.61 7.62 Solstice (Pt. 1) Solstice (Pt. 2) Solstice (Pt. 3) Solstice (Pt. 4) Solstice (Pt. 5) Solstice (Pt. 6) Solstice (Pt. 7) Solstice (Pt. 8) Solstice (Pt. 9)

I (29M) am not sure how I feel about being married to my wife (31F) anymore. We've been together for at least 6 years and I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore. Here are some of the things that I've been going through:
I started my first year as a special education teacher this year. I knew based on student teaching that I was going to be very busy with work. I tried to facilitate a discussion with my wife about her taking on a fair share of the cooking or that if we could consider a meal service of some kind to cut down on the time it would take for me to make dinner. I make dinner every night and I anticipated it being hard to balance work, a 1 hour commute, and all the other take-home work I would need to do. I even had my therapist help me discuss this with her. When we were in her office she seemed open to the idea of at least looking into a meal service. Then we walked out and she basically said "we're not doing that". I remember thinking about how I'll do all the cooking and planning for dinner like always on top of all this extra work I'd be starting.
My wife has cooked me one meal that wasn't a frozen pizza in the time we've lived together. On top of this, my wife has had to go through two very specific diets for medical reasons. Both times I had more knowledge on what she could or couldn't have and I had to cook to accommodate her. She's going through one of these diets currently, and she seems to just let me worry about the cooking. There are days where she is home hours before me and she has no idea what she wants to eat or nothing cooking despite the fact that I won't be able to start cooking until about 6pm.
My wife has gotten to the point where are assumes I'm making every meal for her. She expected me to make her lunch and her dinner tonight and prep vegetables for her lunches later this week. I made her dinner and these vegetables for her tonight. She came home to dinner and food prepared for the next day. I asked if she could grab me a drink from the fridge right as I say down on our couch. She said "you should've thought about that before you sat down". I had to go get it myself after that.
My wife is a backseat driver and it drives be crazy. She drives all day at work so if we go out anywhere I have to drive. I just wait until she makes some kind of remark or tells me to slow down because a car is braking while I've been braking before she said anything. If any of my friends drives us and she doesn't like the way they drove I get to hear the play by play of what they did wrong on our way back home. It will likely not be the only time she will harp on it either. Which leads me to the next thing.
My wife constantly repeats things over and over and over again. She'll gladly give me the whole run down on why she's mad at someone every time they're mentioned in a conversation. Most of the time it's done with my family. My brother had a bad breakup with an ex where he cheated because their relationship was falling apart. Not the best move on his part and I felt bad for his ex. However, for months after we learned about what he did my wife could not resist mentioning how she was mad at him for what he did at the mention of my brother's name. She would go off on this tangent even when he was brought up in a way that wasn't related to the breakup.
My wife also has a lot of words that I just find as filler that make listening to her speak challenging. I find myself wincing every time I hear her overused words or phrases such as "like", "you know", "granted sure", and "not for nothing". If I had to guess, her average "likes" per sentence must be at least 6.
I feel like she's always saying I'm being "mean" to her when I give the impression I may not want to do something she's asked. She asked me to do all these things in our kitchen she could've had done for herself before I got home and I just stared at her. She didn't understand why I gave her the look I did but I was apparently being mean to her. Any time I'm frustrated with her I'm somehow being mean to the point where I feel like I'm not allowed to feel any sense of frustration with her without her claiming "you're mean". It almost feels manipulative that I'm mean because I don't want to do something for her. Meanwhile, it's ok that she can say "fuck you, you're mean. I'm not talking to you".
I'll admit I get short with her sometimes. I feel like I'm losing my patience with her more because she gets to sit at home all day and do nothing. She gets to relax on the couch for hours while I'm cooking, grading, planning, etc after work. I'll be lesson planning and my mental break from working on them is making her dinner.
She also wants to go on this expensive vacation that I feel isn't being budgeted well in terms of our time. We have a short window to finish paying off a lot of money to a travel agency and I'm not sure how that's going to all turn out. This isn't the first time we went on a poorly planned vacation where I was basically told to just go with it and had a hard time paying off my credit cards after the trip and bookings. I get the feeling this will continue to be a stressor in my life and this relationship
The last big thing is that I feel I no longer want to have kids with my wife. I still want to have kids, but I'm leaning towards not wanting to have them with her. A lot of that is because of what I've described above.
I've discussed my feelings about this with my therapist. I've also told them that if I was to separate from my wife I'd basically have no where to go. Rent is too high by myself, I can't move in with family as they all live out of state, none of my friends have space for a roommates, and so on. So I'm not really sure what's the best thing to do. I'm fortunate to have a home and my job. I just don't know what to do. I don't really think my wife will change since I've tried to get in front of an issue and nothing was done about it. I just know that I may get moved into a different grade to teach which means all the planning, prepping, creating worksheets, slideshows, etc of the first year will be repeated all over again. I'm really not sure if I could do another year of this relationship if next school year goes the same way this one has.
TLDR: I feel my wife isn't feeling me mitigate stress by contributing to our relationship, among other things, and I feel my options are limited

I’ve been through a lot. Things in my life has come to some sort of head many times. I’ve believed that I hit a sort of “bad end” for my life long ago and I’m in the credits slideshow. I’ve felt horrible. I still feel these ways. But I’m feeling a little different now too. I feel… tired. I’m getting ready to give up. To embrace and succumb to NEETdom, to social isolation, to depression, to hell on Earth, to hell in my brain. I tried so hard for so many years to improve myself. To improve my life. To get what I want out of life. I tried my best. Now I just want to be told that I did a good job, and that I can rest now. I’ve known this is where I’ve been heading for a while. I want to be at peace. I don’t have the energy to fight anymore or to try. I feel the last pieces of me shutting down. It’s been five years of NEETdom and seven years of mental illness for me. I’ve been so scared of having no one, of my life forever being this way, but nothing I do ever changes anything. I think if I just give up, I can at least… I don’t know… not waste my time and energy, I guess. Stop lying to myself and others. When is it okay to give up? For the other NEETs here that aren’t by choice or that don’t like it, how do you accept it? How are we supposed to live like this? When did you, if you have, decide that you’ve done enough? I never could’ve imagined myself becoming this deeply broken. I’m terrified.

When I made the decision to stop drinking, it was hard to see how that choice would lead to anything. I didn’t see what sobriety would give me. Sure, I’d save money — no more visiting bars, no more ordering booze on DoorDash, no more evening trips to the liquor store. But that’s just a perk, it’s not a motivation. I’d be healthier, certainly. But you can’t feel “not shortening your lifespan by 10-20 years” when you wake up in the morning. And I’d spend a lot fewer empty days wallowing in hangovers. But what would I even do with that time?
10 months later, I’m starting to see the arc of my life since sobriety. And it has given me so much.
At first, it gave me clarity. I realized that I wanted more from life, but I wasn’t sure what that meant or how to go about getting it. But there was a feeling, something deep down, that told me I wasn’t satisfied. That I’d gotten stuck. I hated my job, I hated the city I lived in. But mostly, I hated that I wasn’t being true to myself. I knew immediately I had to quit my job and give myself a reset.
Then, it gave me conviction. A few months later, I took a trip internationally. I saw old friends. I networked. During that trip, I started thinking: What if I moved to another country? What’s stopping me? And at that moment, I decided to do it. I didn’t think about how hard it would be, or how many things I didn’t know about what I was doing. I committed, buying a one-way plane ticket before I even got back home.
Then, it gave me energy. I returned home, and I began to sell everything I owned. My car, my furniture, most of my possessions. I gave away anything I didn’t feel was worth my time and energy to sell, to friends or to charity. Every day for a month, I woke up thinking about what still needed to go, how to sell it, and documented my inventory rigorously. I tracked appointments to meet people for transactions. I gave notice I was moving out of my place. I started packing four suitcases that had to fit everything I planned to keep.
Then, it gave me change. I woke up one morning, just over a month later, and took a taxi to the airport with my massive pile of bags in tow. I arrived halfway across the world with a short-term apartment booked and almost no plan. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew I wanted to stay. It took me almost four months, during which time I was barely making any money, living off savings and credit cards. But eventually, when I was starting to feel like I was running out of options, I found a job. A good job. And that job came with residency in this new country.
And now, I look back. I look back and I see one choice: The choice to stop drinking. And it feels almost unreal to imagine where I was when I made that choice compared to where I am today. It’s not that my life now is perfect, far from it. It’s that I look ahead and see opportunity and growth for the first time. But ten months ago, I couldn’t.
Stick with it. It’s going to get better. Maybe not when you expect it to, maybe not when you want it to, and maybe not how you’d like. But it sure wasn’t working the other way, was it?

okay so long story short i’m over the age of 13 and i posted this slideshow with some emotional audio and the first slide was “oh im so excited for 6th grade” right and the next slide was “im so ready to get out of this school.” so tiktok thinks im IN 6th grade but in reality i am not. they recently suspended my account until i can prove with an ID or credit card im not under the age limit. i don’t have either an ID, drivers license, nor a passport yet. i just asked my uncle to help me with this because i can rely on him, but he told me he wasn’t sure because he already connected HIS drivers license to his personal tiktok account.
so to sum it all up, im wondering if we can use my uncles drivers license with MY suspended account to get it back without it linking? please if anyone can respond to this before 5/14 i will be extremely grateful for your support. 🙏🙏

I started a few days ago, I have one more design to create to complete the 10th one before I upload to Amazon Merch on Demand. I am starting from zero, but we don't really have the luxury to sit and wait for it to take off, in my case, I don´t have time because I have wife and children and as a Dad, I ran out of time. The clock ticking like a time bomb and is set to make this pop by the end of May of 2024 from the date of this post. like if it was the end of the world. Meaning that, we get this going or we get this going 100%.
Here is my first plan of attack: • Create 10 designs per hour in Canva every day Sunday to Sunday for a least 10 hours a day to reach 100 designs per day. • After uploading the limited amount of 10 designs unto Amazon Merch on Demand, I proceed to adding the rest of the designs to "Printify" • With Printify, I am using the "Pop-up" pre designed website they offer. The reason is because after doing extensive research on print on demand, if for example you go with Etsy or Shopify, they need seed money to get started, meaning that, Etsy or Shopify or Wix or any other third party sales channel will not automatically send the money to Printify and Printify will not ship out an order until you pay for it first. Keep that in mind. Which left me to start with Printify own pre-designed website theme so they handle everything, All I have to do is design and upload similar to Amazon Merch on Demand. So with two opportunities like Amazon Merch on Demand and Printify pop up website, this eliminates the "sales channel" problem and we get paid no matter what.
My second plan of attack: • Social media post every single day per design uploaded and published on Printify. Meaning that If I´m creating 100 designs, I will be working anywhere between 10 to 18 hours a day Sunday to Sunday. • Platforms I will post on: Facebook business page, Instagram, Pinterest and Youtube: • 100% mandatory creation of 100 designs a day, very limited time to post on social media so the minimum post per day on social media will be 10 post because you also have to consider the time it takes to make the t-shirt mock ups. • Content strategy: I will use video mock up of the t-shirts by using an app called Vidyozze, they have t-shirt mock up templates ready to go, all you have to do is upload the design and the app does the rest, download that video and upload. It sounds simple but it is not, you have to come up with an elaborate post, have some animations going etc, a theme story etc. • ChatGPT: I will use this to come up with SEO titles and product descriptions to maximize the SEO and will also use ChatGPT to come up with post ideas. • Elevenlabs: I will use this tool to create the voice over for the video post. • The reason I say 100 designs created and only 10 social media post per day is because it is far more important to have as many t-shirts as possible available on the Printify pop up website, mean while the Amazon Merch on Demand of limited 10 designs on first tier pops off and while the 10 post a day on social media about the top designs pop off to gain traffic. Remember, all 10 post are simultaneously going on facebook business page, instagram and pinterest, with perhaps 1 Youtube video post per day. • Finally, boosting the instagram post at 5 dollars a day for the first week on the best design that I come up with while taking advantage of the other free traffic sources.
My third step: • Consistency, this ain´t a game, it´s not a gamble, can´t come in half assed and expect it to pop if none of the above is being done. If we want to break even and earn the big financial dream of earning thousands of dollars off of this print on demand, it has to be done right from the gate. • Post, Post, Post. there is no way around it, the world has to know what you have to offer. To each post, add the link of the t-shirt design so that each post is linked to each individual design, use both links in the primary text of your social media post, the link to Amazon merch and the link to Printify pop up website. • Hashtags, Hashtag the hell out of each post with relevant hashtags, you can use ChatGPT for this also. • With Printify pop up website, it is fast, the fasest, I have tried Wix, Square, Wordpress and they dont stand a chance at speed. We dont have months to design a website, we need to start selling t-shirts now! we don´t have time or capital to wait for Etsy or Shopify for customers to pay us, and then we still have to take time to then pay printify, this is a No No, so to elimate that time, it is better to go with Printify pop up website pre designed and ready to go within minutes. Why printify? because no other print on demand offers a pre designed website to start now. With the rest of the POD, you have to create a third party sales channel.
Why am I doing it this way? Time restriction and Budget restriction. POD works like drop shipping, you have to have some start up capital to make the orders because the third party sales channels may process the order automatically but won´t send the cash automatically, cash to cash has to be done manually and we don´t have time for that shit. We need money now, so Amazon Merch on Demand and Printify solves this time consuming problem, they do it all for you, all we have to do is act as artist, design, upload and send traffic to the links of each product by posting and boosting post and using paid ads.
Video Steps: • Youtube: Do not sell the t-shirt directly, instead, use regular content, for example, if you want to sell cat design t-shirts on Youtube, dont post about the cat tshirt and make the whole video about it, instead, choose one cat breed at a time, create a video of why this this cat is the shit to have, images can be from Canva or other sources to make an animated slideshow of the cat doing diferent things, have image transitions and a voice over narration of it, and then at the end of the video, showcase the t-shirt of that cat design. and repeat the process for each diferent breed and cat design t-shirt you come up with, cant really focus on just one cat category, there are dozens of cat breeds etc. This process goes for any t-shirt design for dogs, cats, hobbies, sports, mammals, woods, anything. One more example, let´s say you create a video reel about the top then cities in the world, at the end of the video reel, showcase the t-shirt of each city with the link in the description to the t-shirts. So for any t-shirt product the formula is this; The first portion of the video is the content and then the final portion of the video is the t-shirt upsell. One more idea, let´s say you want to sell t-shirts with mountain designs on it, the video will like this; talk about the top 3 highest mountains in the world, create a t-shirt design of a simple mountain designed referenced to those mountains and showcase the t-shirts at the end of the video. Keep in mind we are "in-directly selling" the t-shirts and not selling them directly. • Tools; Canva Video Editing, Capcut Video editing, these are simple and fast to learn, why these? we are on the clock, we have time restriction so we don't have the luxury of wasting a month learning new apps, we only have hours to learn them and 30 days to make this new business pop off.
Conclusion: Time, everything is time and time is valuable, imagine waiting 3 to 6 months to make a few 100 bucks? No, we only have days to make 100´s of dollars daily, perhaps a week to create a launch without wasting time on creating an elaborate website, nope, in this case we focus on Amazon Merch on Demand and Printify pop up website and Social Media for "free" traffic, and seriousness. specially with posting, besides coming up with designs, let the world know about it, and work one season at a time.
My final tip: Seasonal, since we are just starting, we must go with the season. It is now April the 20th, we have only days to create t-shirt designs for the season of May, and so on for each other month after this. Christmas coming up? Halloween, Thanksgiving? no problem, design 3 weeks prior, run paid ads two week before the actual date and pray that you make sales! Starting budget on your very first campaign, 5 usd a day per t-shirt design, so for example, you have 4 awesome cool kick ass t-shirt designs for thanksgiving, this means that you will run a paid ad for each t-shirt, $20 usd a day for two weeks before the final cut off day of the holiday, so let´s do the math, $20 bucks a day for 14 days is $280 bucks for a two week paid ad campaign on 4 t-shirts, before planning on paid ads, choose the t-shirts design carefully from you top designs of that particular season, pin point who you are really targeting, the paid ad is different than a regular social media post, the paid ad is directly showcasing the t-shirt using some video animation, I really don´t recommend a static image for a paid ad, this can hurt, so it´s better to use a video. Keep in mind that someone might like it and maybe buy a bunch of different designs, not just for the t-shirt in the paid ad, but any other designs you might already have in the Printify pop up website.
Why do I make an emphases on Amazon Merch on Demand and Printify pop up website? because we are just starting out, focus first on getting your product in front of the world as fast as 1, 2, 3. and later on with the coming months, you can then focus on creating your own website with your own custom domain and when you have enough seed money or start up capital, you can opt in for third party sales channels like Etsy or Shopify or Wix or Ebay, or whatever the case may be because all POD has to be paid up front first. This may change with the upcoming years ahead of us so that payments are automatically routed from the sales channel from your own website or third party sales channel directly to your POD of choice. Unless if you have the financial capital to start right away on Etsy, that is great too, but this post is mainly focused on start up´s and people who don´t have the budget to invest in websites or time in learning how this works. The things I discuss in this post are a basic overview of how to tackle it fast, now, in less than 24 hours and be up and running in under a week so that perhaps some sales starting coming in by week 3 to week 4, with a little bit of some paid ads within the 2nd and 3rd week so that some sales pop off on the 4th week from the initial launch date of a brand new t-shirt POD business. Sales results may vary because someone might have thousands of dollars to invest in paid ads after the first week of launching it with the basic formula I´m discussing here, overall, this is to get it going now, not in 3 or 6 months with our hands crossed waiting to see if it pops off.
Don't have any ideas to design? Etsy has stores that you can buy 1,000 of t-shirt reseller right designs for you to start your journey, and pricing on those designs range anywhere from as little as $3 usd up to $10 or $25 or $40 usd depending on the size of the bundle and how images are provided. There really is no excuse, only the initiative to get started.
Finally, I calculate a starting budget of $80 usd, $10 bucks for start up designs that you can purchase on Etsy with reseller rights, $10 bucks to purchase some already done for you mock up t-shirts designs that you can use in Canva, $22 bucks for eleven labs for voice over credits for the video reels for your social media post strategy plan, may a few more bucks for any other website that sells designs or mock ups, and then the rest of the budget to run your first 5 day Ad at least on 1 t-shirt of your most fire design or the best one you have come up with so far, and run that at least a week before the cut off date of the upcoming holiday that you decide to start this business, and trust that you make some sales to that 1 t-shirt design that is irresistible to buy because it looks awesome.
I´m barely scratching the surface with profound ideas on how to get started and the road that lies ahead. I have more in the bag, but this should be a light shining the path. You may have to do more research with the apps I am mentioning, this might add an extra week of preparation, but over all, it is the most basic idea I can come up with in helping you get started and launching within the first week or two of reading this post, if you are serious about this. Depending on the time that you have to do this if you are already working, or if you are not working at all and have some of the slightest money left to invest in something before all hell brakes loose for you and those around you if someone is depending on you to bring food to the table and get the bills on track before shit hits the fan.
May you have all the success in the world. Your time is now!
My last step: • Set a goal • Be serious about it • Our family and friends are watching us to see if we make it or not • Prove everyone wrong with success
And finally..... Believe.

Hi, I need some help navigating my perspective on this.
I (32F) met my now husband 31(M) in 2018. I met him through my dad who is sober because my husband was in sober living at the time.
At the start of the relationship to my knowledge he was sober.
We started spending more time together and dating, about two months in I discovered he was bisexual through a friend who told me they had seen him on Grindr. I tried talking to him about it when I found out and he shut down and it took him about two weeks to open up and tell me he was bisexual and still wanted to date me.
We continued dating. In December of 2018 I found out he did drink, I brushed it off because he told me he had it under control and didn’t feel like it was an issue for him.
In 2019 we moved in together, I started getting concerned about his drinking because he would for example on his day off in the middle of the week just have champagne, and he would drink pretty regularly, more than what made me comfortable. We talked about it often and he assured me he didn’t have an issue.
In 2020 we moved in with my parents to try to save money. We had a rough April to May because I have ocd and anxiety and our dog was highly reactive it put me in a state of fear. He was annoyed with my perspective on it and I could not rely on him to get me through it. I felt really off at this time and hurt but continued in the relationship.
In October of 2020 he proposed. In December of 2020 he came to me and shared that he was in more debt (20,000) so I helped him get out of that debt by borrowing money from my parents. The deal was that he was going to pay me back overtime so we had it as a savings. He never did, although he tried for a bit of time to send me the money.
Fastforward to some time in 2021 I discovered he was smoking weed because I found a dispensary stamp card in his wallet. I stayed and said can you just communicate when you are doing it, thinking it was on occasion. Still was concerned about his sobriety at this time but loved him and wanted to be with him so I unfortunately let it slide.
We got married in February of 2022. The night before our wedding I begged him to not go out so that he wouldn’t be hungover the next day. He still went out and drank, not sure how much maybe a couple of beers but it was hurtful, I just wanted so much for him to be fully present on our wedding day and hangovers to me aren’t that.
After we got married we had a huge falling out with my family because my sister and him were not getting along. This was in May 2022. My sister ended up telling my dad about his bisexuality as well as him no longer being sober. Andrew was very angry (not saying this is not valid)
We then moved to a new apartment and I feel like his drinking got progressively worse. I wanted to family plan so I asked him to stop smoking weed, I asked him to cut back on drinking. Instead of telling me no he started hiding the alcohol from me I found mini alcohol bottles in laundry baskets and throughout his drawers, he says he did this because I would be mad if he drank. He did the same with the weed and would like to me about where blunts came from going as far to say that the blunt blew over from the neighbors yard.
He started showing anger with drinking at this apartment, and it started scaring me. We grew really distant.
In December of that year 2022 I was wearing one of his jackets, and found a motel 6 envelope in the pocket. I confronted him about it and he told me it was trash from a table at work he must have picked up. He told me that story day after day as I asked about it.
He started paying bills late and I was pissed, I tried being calm but ultimately took over all of the bills so I knew we wouldn’t get late fees. We were tight on money.
April of 2023 we moved into a new apartment, that night he got really drunk, I asked him not to smoke and I put his vape away and showed him where I put it. At 2:30 in the morning I woke up to him slamming doors and going through our stuff saying I hid his vape. I was crying searching for it too. I couldn’t find it either I was frantic trying to get him to just calm down. Two weeks later he admitted he had hid it from me and found it.
April of 2023 we moved to a new apartment and I had a work trip and came home to two photos missing from my vanity of us, and all three bedroom photos taken off the wall and rehung. I immediately started crying and said why are the photos missing and rehung. I just had a sinking feeling. He told me I was tripping.
I then noticed he was pulling out large quantities of cash $600 at a time. & I got nervous confused on why. He has just confirmed for me he was only $2500 in debt. I knew something was off so I checked his credit report. I found out he was $45000 in debt (20,000 was student loans he took out in 2020) the rest was consumer debt racked up over a couple years and money that had gone to collections. I confronted him, he told me it was money he spent on us and he felt pressured that I kept asking him to get a better job to make more money.
I went through all the statements on the credit cards and found the motel 6 charge. It was two weeks after our wedding and it was while I was out of town. I asked him about it again with the receipts and he still said no. I then confronted him about it and he said fine I went to smoke and drink and watch the lakers game when we were living at your parents because he didn’t want them to know he was drinking and smoking. We live in a very popular city with lots of places to go to so I don’t understand why he would have picked motel 6. He said he didn’t tell me the truth because I wouldn’t believe him and think he was cheating on me.
I forgave him and moved forward but felt so betrayed by the lies about money and the motel.my resentment was building.
In October of 2023 we had a scary moment, him and I were not ok. Arguing daily nothing either of us did was going right. Someone put their laundry in ours at the community laundry room at our complex and started the cycle. I told him about it and he is saying I said “what are you going to do about it” which I don’t remember and he snapped. He went into the laundry room opens the machine mid cycle and started throwing the persons laundry everywhere. I was terrified. I tried stopping him and it didn’t work. He moved me out of the way and kept going. I had to clean everything up. I went into the apartment and just said that it wasn’t ok that he had done that. He told me that if I think that is domestic violence I don’t know what domestic violence is. I went into an anxiety spiral. I was terrified. I told him that he needed to get sober, work a program, and go to couples counseling with me or the marriage was over. He spent two weeks calling me a pathetic wife, saying I abandoned him.
Then he finally agreed to get help and admitted he was an alcoholic. & agreed to fundamentally & spiritually change as a person. I also started Alanon at this time, I am sober as well by choice and I got new therapists to help me through .
I moved back in and it was great at first, then slowly he stopped program, stopped therapy and then said he didn’t need program to stay sober and he doesn’t think he has a problem with drinking or smoking. I was devastated and we started couples therapy. He is now saying my anxiety caused him to think he has an addiction and he is no happier now than he was when drinking, that I am still mean and belittle him and is miserable. He is saying Alanon has brainwashed me. He is still sober to my knowledge so I thought ok maybe it will work.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I found out by looking at his app subscriptions that he downloaded a swingers and threesome app in 2020 the year of our engagement and also just last February 2023 he downloaded Adam4adam during our marriage. I immediately spiraled and was convinced he has been cheating. I had to ask him to say sorry. And he told me he was just looking. I was sobbing in our therapy and he just said it was so long ago and I have no actual proof. He tried showing remorse I think but it just wasn’t clear. His response was to just plan a bunch of stuff for us to do.
I ended up telling him again he needs to work program stay sober and show the work he can put in to gain my trust again. He said he doesn’t know how to fix the trust and that he doesn’t think he has a drinking problem that he’s sober now but he wants to drink again and he will not do AA.
I am considering divorce and living with my parents now. I am literally scared and can’t tell if it’s my anxiety disorder or if this is actually as bad as it sounds . Please don’t call me crazy or judge me I’m just trying to find clarity desperately.
Thank you if you’ve read this far.