https://preview.redd.it/2r0b5ean4b1d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f727582b0385c3d15dc997816bb01a80c911c374
One of the biggest advantages of thumbsticks is its return to center. Also with spring pressure feedback you can feel how far you are from center.
Giving your touchpad "nipples" or "bumps" works like braille to use your sensitive thumb to feel center. With little practice this will become second nature. Have any of you tried this?
Interested in nipples? 😉 Add some tactile dots with super glue to your touchpads and give 'em a try.

• Just use a ruler + pencil to find center
• Measure diagonally and across
• Add a tactile dot with super glue + toothpick
• Have paper towel on hand to correct mistakes
• Doesn't seem to affect touchpad tracking
• I've scrapped the super glue off before so you can adjust if you make a mistake
• In software set center tactile dot (nipple) to deadzone
• IMPORTANT: Set touchpad to move/turn ON TOUCH (not press down)
• Maybe even set small vibration when touching outside of deadzone
• Set the click down action to some other action like sprint, walk, duck, flashlight...

For me, this makes the touchpads better then the thumbsticks. I can slide from center then lift off for instant return to center then touch back down for instant motion. I played through Super Meat Boy by being able to temporarily lift my thumb off for a moment to precisely stop moving when landing on a small platform. Then hover my thumb ready to quickly move again when the timing is right.
The bumps are light and you can barely feel them so they don't bother you for regular mouse control. Have any of you done something like this?
Edit: Another alternative is to get a "touchpad protector" and then cut a small hole in the center so you can feel where center is. 👍
Edit: SteamDeck mods deleted this post so I'm moving the post to here.

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”

Thanks to Patron Member u/Entharo_entho - Here is the wiped out Tweet retrieved
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:

Arre, then what do I say?
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.

Above stanza, courtesy Poe, poem: The Raven.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

Quick start guide / tips for Retroarch on iOS / Ipados

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

IT IS POSSIBLE! This is the first and most important fact to remind yourself consistently. There is no step by step plan for this. But there are things you need to know and study up on. Im going to go into some facts and get into what you can do to help yourself maneuver through life and out of the reality surrounding your life that is gangstalking….
*COVERT NARCISSISM- these aren’t your typical narcissistic people… they are harder to detect and utilize more dark manipulation tactics, like coercive control, manipulating you to try to play the wounded healer role, and playing the caring friend role, giving gifts (don’t except gifts! More on that later) “helping” you so they can act like you use them and take credit for good things that come in your life and your accomplishments. HOW TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUE? Research! YouTube, Ben Taylor’s channel called raw motivations, YouTube also has information about dark psychology manipulation tactics and I would really dig DEEP into that, recognize the tactics of dark psychology being utilized by the people you interact with in your day to day life and then proceed to cut them off! And when they try to act confused understand that it’s more manipulation. Covert narcissists LOVEEEE to use an internal podcasting system to play their group podcasts through your devices with multiple audio output so you can hear them talking shit while they watch you, this way they can call you crazy and make you look crazy to everyone. HOW DO YOU SOLVE THIS? block the people that you hear, on your accounts and cut them off completely, also raise your vibrational frequency and the voices will fade. They will send you texts that have t”ypos” that have a period in between two words instead of a space or just a period where it wouldn’t belong, it’s a hack link and you need to block them immediately and turn off your phone immediately after blocking them and cut them off and out of your life immediately, they are hacking you to know what your plans are so they can Sabotage you, along with watching you to later fuck with your head.
*UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOW IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!!!!! These people are in cults for the most part…. Look up the INEE handbook. These cults have different names because there’s more than one cult. Ouiinee is the one I dealt with personally. They use a language of context, which means they use code words for many things. “School” is what they call the humiliation ritual they do on a victim they have targeted, “teachers” are your handlers, they break you down to control you and try to teach you that conformity is your only option, “work” is their word for organized operations against you that they document record so they can make money off your suffering, by selling footage on dark web platforms. They will do black magic on you for energy harvesting and to create blockages…. Ever get a gift given to you and then you lose your job or something you love, or become more and more trapped? Pray to your Devine god, call your guardian angels ( YouTube “dark knight of the soul” and “spiritual warfare”) they also supercharge their technology with dark magic to make you hear their internal podcasting system down to the core of your soul, they will also attack you in your dreams, and you just have to get closer to the Devine. Don’t fear being alone, isolate yourself to research and reconstruct yourself to vibrate higher. What helped me know what they were doing was the tarot readers on YouTube. REMEMBER THAT THE DEMONIC SIDE DOES’T ATTACK SOMEONE THAT HAS NO LIGHT!!! IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY THAT COMES FROM THE DEVINE LIGHT EMBEDDED IN THE FABRIC OF YOUR SOUL, YOU AREN’T A THREAT AND YOU CANNOT BE OF USE EITHER!! You must listen to your intuition and develop your discernment, your gut feeling will always tell you something is not right, and listening to it is more important than falling into the trap of not wanting to believe that someone you care about isn’t who they pretend to be, it’s a mask and they were never who you thought they were. It’s important to not be having sex with these people and it’s safer to stick with solo action until you are in the clear, this is one of the ways they attach energetic cords to you so they can harvest your energy and bind demonic entities to you and make their black magic more effective in keeping you vulnerable, stuck and stagnant in life
*THINGS WILL HAPPEN WITH NANOTECHNOLOGY. Strange fibers growing in your skin, seeing small dust particle drones, etc……. You need to move unannounced and mostly unplanned, tell no one, and move far enough away that it’s inconvenient for them travel to watch you, being trapped is an illusion. It may seem like they fallow you everywhere, also an illusion, they are simply just EVERYWHERE! This is where understanding dark psychology, setting firm boundaries,discernment, and intuition is important! Don’t disrespect your boundaries, when you do that they have the upper hand and will always take it farther, as soon as someone disrespects your boundaries, simply walk away and cut them off. Make room in your life for those that respect your boundaries. Not everyone is like that, also don’t over share your personal life, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for everything. They appear to be fallowing you to every town because you display behaviors that they can exploit. They can sniff out easy targets like a bloodhound. Have boundaries and tell people when they are disrespecting a boundary and if they don’t stop they you will cut them off, then fallow through.
*ADVANCED BIOFUELS- genetic engineering, feeling crawling under your skin, covered with a very oily/waxy substance, getting random cuts on your body like invisible razor blades are coming out of nowhere and doing driveby on your skin? Making you feel like you’re being attacked by parasites? That’s advanced biofuels and they have a code word for it called buty wax that refers to butamax you need to RELOCATE and this will eventually destroy your body and your immune system and they will keep putting it into your environment until you move. They can make it at home or get it from the dark web for cheap, this is a torture tactic and as long as they know your location you are not safe from this. To help treat the effects of this, do cleanses to eliminate toxins from your body and take natural herbal remedies that will boost your immune system, get sunlight and exercise, avoid drugs and alcohol.
*DONT USE HARD DRUGS they target people with addictions because people don’t want to believe that what is happening is true if you’re on drugs, people don’t take addicts seriously because they assume they they are just hallucinations, making them an easy target for this type of abuse. Also many people in the drug world target people so they can get more drugs as payment and use drugs without being the target. And numb their pain all at your expense.
*AVOID THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS, avoid the people you know are your gang stalkers, avoid places like bars, strip clubs, and trap houses, and avoid things that trigger you to relapse on drugs or get involved with certain people, also avoid the people places and things that give you a bad gut feeling.

• I am open to answering any questions to the best of my knowledge. I know these things from experience dealing with these assholes for years, I have a heightened extra sensory perception, which means that I have spiritual gifts that have made it easier to practice divination (communicating with the deceased and spirit guides) spot on intuition that got me out of some very fucked up situations at last minute, as well as just knowing exactly what to collect samples of in my environment to look at under a microscope, and I also research everything that I feel is suspicious. Also look up the court documents for MK-ULTRA and research everything you don’t understand. I got away and nobody came to my rescue, I had to save myself and this is a great start. It goes way deeper than this but it’s too much to type here. Just ask me in the comments and I might be able to help with whatever answer you’re looking for.

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

I found a notebook with writing which looks like it was formatted to be a movie script. I handed the book in to the staff at the library. Anyway i went back to the library to check if had been collected and it hadnt so i thought id post a bit of it here hoping whoever wrote it is on here? Long shot but whatever.
EXT. AZKABAN. NIGHT
The perpetual storm outside rages: lashing at the dark prism which protrudes from the restless ocean.
Lightening cracks and chips the blackened bricks on the corners of the equilateral roof.
A dark, hooded figure floats above the frothing sea towards the prison. His face is hidden but his pale, scarred hands can be seen protruding from his tattered robe. The audience think he must be some sort of dementor by the cloak, the nature of his travel and the destination of his journey.
However when the figure approaches an upper third of a rectangular side of Azkaban, he raises a scarred hand towards the brickwork: a spiraling red stream of electricity shoots out from his fingers and hits the blackened brickwork. The wall of the prison explodes outward, the shattered bricks falling into the dark waters below.
The hooded figure glides into Azkaban and steps lightly onto the cobbled passageway inside the building.
CUT TO:
INT. AZKABAN
A group of similarly hooded guards float inches off the floor facing the intruder standing at the edge of the blasted hole in the wall he had made.
Seven feet tall, with a dark boney figure, they are similar in appearance to the man, and the dementors seem confused by his arrival. More dementors gather as the crowd approach the man, their rattling breaths create a horrifying chorus of sickness.
Before the crowd reach within 6 feet of the man, he lazily extends an arm: this time, a pale blue mist falls gently before a contorting shape forces it's way out from the man's hand. It grows, bones cracking uncomfortably, taking the shape of a ghostly bear. The patronus of the bear is formidable in size, however it's scarred and manged. The bear is hardly covered in any translucent blue fur, the few patches left protrude randomly across it's body. It's face is scarred and disfigured, one eye is fused shut. The bear snarls and growls deeply at the crowd of dementors and breaks into the crazed run at the figures. It barks as it runs, contorts it's body as it chases. Foamed spit falls out it's mouth as it lunges to bite the dementors. The crowd fall back down the dark corridor, chased by the man's patronus.
On the right, all the way down the corridor, are a series of adjacent cells, the fourth wall facing the corridor being thick wrought iron bars. The occupants of each cell had wildly different reactions to this intruder. Some rattled the bars of their cages and exclaimed wildly, some rocked in the center of their damp cells, quietly rocking and muttering to themselves. All were decidedly mad.
The hooded man looked down the corridor at the barred cells, by raising his arm, each inmate levitate off the floor, then with a sudden jerk of his arm, the figures fly to the barred wall of their cell their bodies do not fit naturally through the gaps in the bars, but they continue going through, their bones snapping and twisting to allow this.
The deafening screams of the prisoners echo down the dark corridor as they go through the bars and then float in a neat line in the center of the corridor. The hooded man then turns out to the open sea and floats up, the parade of contorted bodies follow.
The hooded man rises up and turns back to face the side of the building. He subtlety flicks his hands and the group of broken bodies line up horizontally against the black wall. With another motion, a large wall stone pushes out from the flush brickwork. Creating a small ledge for the prisoners to stand on. Their broken feet and legs crumble and they begin to collapse and fall off the ledge, however before falling to the sea below the floating man raises both his hands, a thin green mist shoots out and the inmates broken bodies begin snapping back into proper place, the ensemble of bone fixing and ligament reattachment is sickening but doesn't last more than a few moments.
There is a combination of wails, crying and laughing from the lineup.

HOODED MAN:< Quiet!<

He has a deep rattling voice.
The air infront of his words vibrates and the column of air reaches out to the lineup of prisoners. Think black cords wrap threw their lips and sew their mouths shut. Some grasp at their mouths. Their moans can still be heard.

HOODED MAN:< You may be hoping I've come to free you. I have not.<

Some of the people laugh manically through their sewn mouths.

HOODED MAN:< You hide behind veils of madness. To shield yourselves from your circumstance. Perhaps remorse would lead you here, more likely you'd rather laugh here than cry. But it's a façade, you do not know true madness, your insanity is a flimsy curtain to hide your true self from the realities of your situation, no. This pathetic pretence will not do. I want you to beg for mercy. It would be easier if you did so now. But I know you will not. I will take these veils from you and you will see the world as it is. And then you will beg.<

The hooded man rushes towards a hysterically laughing women in the center of the lineup.

HOODED MAN:< And I will kill you.<

She laughs even harder through her sewn mouth.
The man reaches out a hand and grabs the woman's forehead, her and all other inmates in the line throw their back. Their eyes glow white as they look up to the dark sky.
CUT TO:
INT. INMATE'S MIND
The hooded man stands in a large hall. The enclosed black hall is the shape of the inside of a skull. The walls of this room glow faintly white. The man stands on a ledge where the prefrontal cortex is.
He stands in a thin pool of water which gently splashes as he walks to the ledge of the platform. Once there he looks down to see a small naked figure crouching at the base, where the spinal cord leads out.
The man looks down and reaches out, his arm is stopped by an invisible wall, brown rotted strings which run top to bottom vibrate revealing the barrier. The man steps back and inspects the barriers edges and it's construction. He steps back up and plucks a rotted string. When he turns around he pulls a large medieval sword from his cloak and begins to slice as the edges of the veil. The tattered rope falls down the ledge to the platform where the naked figure sits. The figure looks up at the falling ropes infront of her.
The hooded man sheaths his sword into nothing and looks back down at the woman over the ledge. He beckons for her and she stands up.
She begins to float up to the man with increasing speed until:
CUT TO:
EXT. ASKABAN. NIGHT
The inmates whip their heads back forwards, groaning and grasping their heads in pain.

HOODED MAN:< (With satisfaction) There.<

The groaning of the inmates has stopped and now they stare terrified at the man, in silence. Waiting for his next word.
The man surveys his work looking up and down the lineup, some of the prisoners realize their predicament of standing 300 feet over a cold ocean and back up as far as they can, flush with the wall.
He waits for a moment.

HOODED MAN:< Now-<

He rushes in to the side of the central woman, his hood flies off as he does so, revealing a scarred face with a mop of short black hair. Lines of black spider like veins run up his face, scars and burned markings adorn his face, little runes and symbols. The marks look self inflicted, like he's tried to shove foreign objects into his face, and presumably body. It's grotesque to look at.

HOODED MAN:< - you will beg.<

There is an eruption of begging and pleading from the group who have dropped any pretence of not caring about living.

CROWD OF INMATES:< Please. No- I can change- I didn't mean to, you have to understand.<

The hooded man falls back and begins to laugh.

HOODED MAN:< Yes, yes YES!<

He laughs louder and louder as their pleas become louder and more desperate.

HOODED MAN:< (Quietly, barely a whisper) Now, you die.<

He snaps his head to look at a small man at the left end of the lineup. A large brick to the right of the man's head slides slowly out of the wall, the pleading of the crowd has stopped to watch what happens to the man. When the first brick slides all the way out, the brick next in line to the left, behind the man's head slides to take the place of the first brick.
The floating brick then lines up in the empty spot, right in front of the man's face, and slams back into the wall, taking the man's head with it. His headless body crumbles and begins to fall, before the hooded man gestures and the corpse is suspended limply on the platform.
A tall woman next in line stumbles back from seeing this and falls off her platform. She falls out of frame before being brought back up by the man. She crys hysterically.

WOMAN:< Please, no you don't understand PLEASE!<

The process happens more quickly this time, the brick movement happening more fluidly, ending with the crunching thud.
People in the lineups scream and crouch to try and avoid the flying bricks, but they are held up by invisible strings, and stare screaming as the black bricks come crashing back.
This happens twelve times going down the line, but skipping the ragged woman in the center who starts sobbing when's she's skipped.
Once all the others in the lineup are dead, their limp bodies standing on the platforms, and a bloody rim to the bricks behind where their heads should be, the man approaches the woman slowly.

HOODED MAN:< Do you know who I am?<

She shakes her head.

HOODED MAN:< No I wouldn't expect you to. But I remember you.<

He laughs and points at her.

HOODED MAN:< That's why I'm here. For closure.<
WOMAN:< I don't understand.<
HOODED MAN:< And that's how it'll end.<

He floats back for a last time, and orchestrates the same brick movement, sliding out and replacing, however this time it happens at chest level, and when the brick slams back into the wall, it creates a rectangular gap in her chest, which she looks down at as she dies. She moans and coughs weakly, before going limp.
The hooded man sighs.
He gestures and cords appears from his hands and tie around the 13 figures to hold them up once he leaves. He goes back and looks at the puppet like scene he leaves, and he nods. Then, and quietly as he came, he flys off into darkness, putting back on his hood.
MATCH CUT TO:
EXT. AZKABAN. DAY
The storm has cleared and the sky is a bright blue with few white clouds dotted around.
A group of well dressed men and women sit suspended on broomsticks, looking at the wall.

DETECTIVE 1:< What the fuck is this.<
DETECTIVE 2:< It's sick. I mean they deserved it, but it's sick.<
DETECTIVE 1:< (as he tugs on one of the strings) Fucking hell. So this guy, broke through the protective barriers, and enchantments on the walls, pushed off the entirety of the Azkaban guard force, took out the whole floor of prisoners and then did this?<
DETECTIVE 2:< Looks like it.<

Need to tell this story 2013
Hi there
This happened in 2013 but I still remember it like it was yesterday. Since my experience, I read a lot of stories from others about sleep paralysis/obes/ astral projection but none of them ever seemed like what happened to me.
I’m sharing because I don’t know what this was and I’m curious if anyone has had this experience as well.
I was living in a little studio apartment by myself. I remember I didn’t have bed yet I had just moved in. I was going to sleep for the night I remember it was a weeknight because I had work in the morning.
I had had sleep paralysis happen I would say maybe 4 times before this from age 14-22. Never SAW any shadows or demons but I did hear them in my ear.
You know that feeling you get right before you are about to go into sleep paralysis where you’re kind of vibrating and feel like you’re about to lose control? Well I had that happen, but usually it only happened when I was on my back and this time I was laying on my side. I felt like my spirit was about to detach and I was freaking out. I thought ok I all I have to do is focus on being in my body and I’ll stay but it didn’t work. I felt my ears kind of pop and heard a sound kind of like what an old refrigerator sounds like when it’s on at night.
This is hard to explain but, as I felt my spirit leaving it felt like somehow there was a way for me to choose to NOT see anything. I wanted to keep my eyes closed even though I knew it was my spirit traveling. And it worked. I didn’t see a THING. And I was very aware of the face that I was trying to keep my “spiritual” eyes closed. I had this feeling that if I let my eyes see them I would have seen my body . I knew there was a cord keeping me to my body somehow.
So, once I detached from my body it felt like I was traveling SO FAST. I didn’t get that pit in my stomach like how you get when you’re falling or on a roller coaster, but I knew I was going fast because and only because wind was going past me SO FAST. And get this it was kind of cold. Not unbearably but. Felt like 60 degrees wind. So fast. Then all the sudden no wind and I was aware that wherever I was (choosing not to see) and I heard a ding. Yes a ding like a loud ding you would hear if your order is ready from a diner in the movies. Then no wind. And somehow I “knew” that I had landed in some other little realm.
I couldn’t see. But I FELT like there were beings there that NEW I was there and not supposed to be there. Didn’t feel “evil” necessarily but it still felt terrifying. It felt like all these beings were talking to each other and living life then I show up and everyone stops and just stares at me and is thinking why and how are you here??
So I guess I “Willed” myself to keep traveling because I had to get out of there. So the wind continued and I kept going to different places (again I couldn’t see so what I could see was darkness just how it is when you’re closing your eyes on purpose)
This is where it gets weird
The only place I “landed” where I could hear people actually talking was the last places I landed
I heard the song TLC Don’t go chasin waterfalls. And it was the band and they were going that dance.
I was never even a fan of them I was sooo little when they came out and I wish I had some deeper more exciting experience but this is literally what it was and I don’t know why.
Now I still couldn’t see because I wouldn’t let myself but somehow I knew they were dancing. But again they seemed to stop and be freaked out that I was there
At this point I told myself just focus on ur body as hard as u can maybe that’ll work. At that point I felt myself falling. Same huge rush of wind and minor just minor stomach drop feeling. Finally I was in my body and I heard like a thump and then a final DING. After the ding I instantly opened my eyes and my heart was racing
I was so scared I would forget what happened so I opened up my iPhone and wrote in my notes “tlc don’t go chasing waterfalls” and literally nothing else LOL
I haven’t had any sleep paralysis happen since thankfully but I’ll never ever ever forget this

I've been a resident for 24 years now and I still cannot bring myself to like this city. If I can even call it a city. Besides the lack of greenery and decent people, I've got a few solid reasons - DHBVN cut off my electricity after we contested 43k electricity bill. Apparently they've been charging us an average since August since our metre was faulty. They installed a new metre sometime in Jan/Feb without any notice to us. It's only when we raised a complaint abt the bill that all these 'facts' were revealed to us. Complete lack of cooperation from the DHBVN folks. Very jat way of turning you away and making you feel helpless. Questions remained answered. Highly dismissive when we asked them about how they even calculated their average and their method of billing us since August 2023. No answers. The person stopped responding and kept staring at his computer. I felt so helpless.
After i raised the complaint, they send my application to Hisar and it'll be sorted and I wouldn't have to pay these inflated, baseless charges. 4 days later, they cut my electricity because the complaint wasn't fed in their system. I went again to sort it out. Not a single utterance of 'sorry for the inconvenience'. Instead I got 'jod toh Diya madam, aaur kya karru main.' I didn't want to aggravate the issue so I let my witty comeback stay inside. But lo and behold, yesterday they cut my electricity again - realised it after 2 hrs of no electricity. Guess the reason this time - they hadn't filled in my complaint in their system. AGAIN.
There's some water issue every week. Either the pipes are filled with air in the kitchen or the bathrooms, preventing the flow of water. Every month, we face days where inspire of the motor being on for 4-5 hrs, our tanki isn't filled up. Have to ration basic bathing routines. And I'm very careful with water wastage anyway. Sometimes, there's no water to flush after the morning poop. I've started filling up two buckets at night so the next day basic water supply is secure.
Next, I've got bloody current fluctuation in my sector. Or maybe just my house. The AC stops working. My treadmill out of nowhere stopped. The fridge has gone down a couple of times. No matter how many times I change that little white box that regulates the electricity supply, something or the other breaks down.
Let's move onto the third - there are no trees here. There are but not enough for humans to enjoy. I'm not saying build a bloody paradise. But what the hell - why is there always concrete in my vision. I've planted a few trees. Planted seeds when I was a kid and i see some of the them blooming but it's not enough.
Fourth. I hate the wedding seasons. There's a vacant space in front of my house and the residents use it for all kinds of functions. There's music blaring throughout the night.no curfew, no control. So loud that the floor vibrates. And wedding seasons are the worst. 20+ years of this incivility and I'm still not used to it. I don't think Im asking for too much if I ask for a curfew time. Am I?
Number five - the monsoons. Actually no. Rains anytime. Even if it's rained for 20 minutes, the roads will be clogged up. The drainage system is so poor. It takes a day and a half for it to clear up. Monsoons is another story.
I don't like the people either if I'm being totally honest but that's just my bias. They're interfering but so is 95% of this country. But I can't wrap my head around how they talk. It's pointed but not in a kind way. This is still something I can work around because I like politeness so I'm to blame for expecting it.
But everything else - I cannot. I also know I can't do anything about it. I'll vote but we know who's coming back to power. This is a grey, bleary city and the heat's getting to me. It's so grey. And not in the highly efficient albeit dystopian grey. Just ugly and gloomy grey. I loathe the roads too. Not a single smooth road until we reach the Jaipur highway.
All I can do it rant. And maybe, help myself feel slightly relieved.

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

I have devised this thread as some guidance for those people who have visited this forum and are concerned about specific symptoms that are effecting them and, in particular, those who are worried that these symptoms are an indication of neurological conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) & Motor Neurone Disease (MND).
The first thing that must be realised is that NOBODY on an internet forum can ever diagnose you or truly give you any reassurance that you do not have these conditions. Should anybody experience any signs or symptoms that are new to them they should ALWAYS approach their doctor in the first instance in order for these to be examined. In the vast majority of cases a GP will be able to advise you that these symptoms are benign but some doctors will often refer you to a neurologist for their opinion, if this should happen it is not value laden as regarding a possible diagnosis but rather would be the standard format for how you present to the doctor.
This thread is good news, it is good news because it has had to be written, it is good news because hundreds, maybe thousands of people have logged onto this board and countless other anxiety forums totally convinced that they are suffering from a neurological condition despite being told by health care profesionals that this is not the case. All these people ask the same questions and all these people have the exact same worries as you are having now. If this is you, if you have been to the doctor, maybe even a neuro, maybe even two neuro’s, maybe even had an MRI, maybe even two MRI’s, well, you get the picture, if you have been told by your health care profesional that you are healthy but you are struggling to believe this you may find some help from this thread.
So, you have come to an anxiety board. I guess that is because your doctor has told you that you are suffering from anxiety. Actually, my guess would be that your doctor has told you that you are suffering from ‘just’ anxiety and, if you are lucky, you may have been given some leaflets, you may have had some books recommended and you may even have been given some medication.
So, what took you to the doctor? Was it the tingling? The pins & needles? That damned annoying twitching eyelid that just won’t let up? Was it that weird thing when you keep seeing the flashing in your periphiral vision? The strange sensation in your throat where you just can’t swallow? The constant muscle aches and cramps? The constant small joint aches and cramps? Do you have that weird internal vibrating feeling? Was it the percieved weakness in all your major limbs? What about the foot drop you have been noticing, the clumsiness, finding the car keys in the fridge? Was it the chronic constant fatigue, that feeling when you wake in the morning like you haven’t actually gone to bed? What about the myclonic jerking, that bizarre moment when your whole body jerks like you have had an electric shock? Was it that constant twitching in your calf muscles that looks like you have a bag of worms under your skin? It could have been the parathesia, the feeling on your skin where one moment it feels sunburnt and the next minute it feels soaking wet? Maybe it was the atrophy, you know, the muscle loss in your bicep, your thigh that is so obvious to you but what frustratingly nobody else can see? What about………are you bored? I’m bored!
So, you have had some of those right? Maybe like me you are unlucky enough to have had every one of them…not much fun is it! When you first started getting these weird and wonderful symptoms cropping up I bet one of the first things you did was run off to the all powerful internet and consult that all knowing oracle, the good lord GOOGLE. If you did this, if you searched for your symptoms on a search engine on the internet, congratualtions, you have taken the first step on developing this weird and wonderful anxiety disorder known as Health Anxiety. The reason we Google is because of a basic human need at a time of stress, we are scared and we want reassurance, the problem is nothing you ever read on the internet will give you the reassurance you need, you will unwittingly discard the plethora of evidence that tells you that you do not have a neurological illness and instead will latch onto and inflate those things which seem ambigous, why would you do this? I suggest that at this point it may be adavantagous for you to look in the Genaralized Anxiety Disorder folder on this forum and see the negative thought processes and over generalization and catastrophising that defines GAD, it just may ring some bells for you.
So, by the time you have gone to the doctor you are pretty much resigned to the fact that it is MS or if you are really unlucky ALS. You picture yourself in a wheelchair, the kids looking at you with pity as you can’t play sports in the park with them anymore, you picture your partner standing by you and caring for you but all the while you feel the resentment, they never signed up for this, you picture the scene in four years time, confined to a hospital bed with your family and friends round you with the fruit and flowers…..BUT WAIT!
Oh joyous news, the doctor has said you don’t have MS, you don’t have ALS, what you have is anxiety, well, just anxiety….oh believe me there is a BIG difference. You have got out of jail free! The doctor has examind you thoroughly, he has taken your history, he knows the patterns, he has seen people with MS and ALS and you are not one of those. With a skip and a step you are on your way, same time next year doctor, yep, no worries…so with a happy heart and an increased vigour you are off out of the surgery door to continue with your life that had been on hold up to then. MS, ALS how could you be so silly eh?
…and then it begins! Right, the doctor said this is anxiety, I’m not anxious though, why do I still have these symptoms if I’m not anxious….something just isn’t right here. The more you think about it the more it seems obvious, hold on, I saw the doctor on Friday afternoon, I bet he was just thinking about the weekend and wanted to get rid of me. I’m sure that the doctor should have done more tests than he did you know, crikey, I’m sure when I told him the numbness was down just the one side he didn’t listen to that, that bit is crucial and he never heard it. Hold on, this freakin eye twitch is getting even worse and I’m not even anxious, where is the telephone? What is that doctors number?……welcome to the loop!
If any of the above seems familier to you, believe me, you are not alone…as strange as it may seem the fixation on being convinced you have a neurological condition after being told that you are in actual fact suffering from anxiety in very common.
Firstly, you need to realise that both MS and ALS are rare disease’s. Not only are they both rare disease’s but they also tend to effect spefic groups based on ethnicity, age and sex so we are talking about rare disease with partial excluding factors. In contrast, anxiety is an incredibly common and debilitating condtion that effects people both physically and mentally.
Anxiety is generally percieved to be a mental condition, when we are anxious we are anxious in our head and this can kick in the flight or fight syndrome which in turn causes the physical reactions. These reactions are generally thought to be a racing heart and palpitations, sweating, increased adrenaline etc etc. Now, this is all well and good but how does this fit in with those symptoms that mirror MS etc so effectivly.
I personally believe that the reason most people fail to be believe that their symptoms are being genrated by anxiety is because the concept of anxiety is never actually expalined sufficently. A large number of doctors will often expalin to you that you are suffering from ‘just’ anxety and this usage of the term ‘just’ is supposed to make us somehow feel reassured. The problem is that this has the opposite effect, how can a ‘just’ something cause all these real physical symptoms. If anxiety is effecting me mentally how can it make me twitch, buzz and go numb?
For some people anxiety will surface in the tradional panic attack, much seems to be written on this side of anxiety and this is not what we are concerned with here. For a sizable group of people when anxiety starts to manifest itself physically it is through physical sesnations that effect various aspects of our nervous system. This is why the sensations of this physical anxiety so closely mirror the symptoms of a condition such as MS, they actually effect the same part of the body, now, here is the crucial and all important difference, the symptoms of MS are caused by an organic condition which whilst treatable is irreversable and the physical sensations of anxiety are caused by the mind and are of course reversable. In short, you have to understand and accept that the mind can actually generate these physical sensations.
Whilst for many people physical anxiety can strike out of the blue, I am of the opinion that for the vast majority of people anxiety starts to become physical after whay could be many years of bad stress and anxiety management. You may not have even noticed this. We all have an anxiety threshold and the majority of people will probably never approach the blow off point, yes, a sudden and severe stressor could take someone right over the point from the baseline (think Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & Conversion Disorder etc) but most of us operate at an anxiety level that our bodies can handle. The problem is that if we stress ourselves constantly over a period of time, we do not allow our thermostat to reset and one sunny day something will happen, some stressor which can be a bad or even a good event and which we may not even realise the significance of will push us over the limit and it is at this point that our anxiety will effect us physically and more often than not impact on our nervous system.
This also happens to bring us to another crucial factor and what for many is the paradox that holds us back form accepting the anxiety diagniosis, how the hell can this be anxiety when I am not anxious? It makes no sense to me! What we need to realise is that once we have crossed the anxiety threshold no matter what we do we have to surrender ourselves to our mind and body and accept that we are now operating to a timescale that WE CANNOT CONTROL! We can think we are being as cool as Fonzie but we need to accept that the damage whilst reversible has been done and it is just a case of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. Our body is now in control of us and the physical sensations will only stop when our body and mind are sufficently recovered.
It is at this point where we commit the ultimate folly, do we do as the experts suggest and sit back and realx and float through this stage? Of course not, we do the total opposite, we monitor our body for every twitch and interpret this as a sign of a misdiagnosis, we become hypervigilant, paranoid, self absorbed…this behaviour just creates more and more anxiety and we do not allow our body and mind the time necessary to recover….we are, in effect, pouring gasoline on the fire and expecting it to go out.
If you read this forum you will find a variety of posts that will offer you suggestions as to why you are suffering from the physical sensations of anxiety. Some people will advocate medication, some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy etc etc but what you will realise is that there is no one right way. I am truly of the belief that recovery is all about acceptance and learning to respond to fear correctly but how we do this is very much an indvidual thing. It could well be that you have issues with GAD and you can see how patterns realting to that disorder resonate with how you currently feel about your health, for example, note how both MS and ALS are diseases with which we lose control of our bodies. It could also be that you have issues with OCD, traits such as reassurance seeking and body and symptom monitoring could suggest this. There may well be suggestions that you could be sufferring from elements of depression, there is as school of thought that believes that the mind will somatise physical sensations when there are aspects of your life that your unconcious is unhappy with etc.
I hope this has helped if you have just visited here convinced you have MS etc and you are feeling scared and confused. You may have noticed I have not mentioned anything specific about MS or ALS and that is because there is no reason to...you do not have those. Your doctor has told you you are suffering from anxiety and therefore you are in the right place. Refrain from researching about diseases you do not have and instead concentrate on dealing with what you have today. Of course, what you have today doesn’t guarantee you won’t have MS or ALS tomorrow and if that thought fills you with fear use your time here wisely and believe me, it becomes a lot more bearable.

I was about to post a picture but thought I’d spare you all!
We’ve had a STP for about 8 months and are fed up with the vibration of the air pump. It can be heard from a long distance. I just opened up the manhole cover (something I’ve been putting off but actually was fine) and saw we have a Secoh JDK60. I’ve no idea if this is good or not. It’s sat in a plastic tub on a bit of polystyrene to dampen the vibrations - I was expecting rubber matting as a minimum!
Has anyone successfully cut the noise/vibrations on their tank? How much would rubber matting help? Could I somehow suspend the pump to stop contact of the edge? Or should I replace with a quieter pump?
Thank you

"Good-bye, lover-- It's been fun... And I always did want to go in battle. You get to keep your planet, kid... Don't forget me... Don't forget me"
Bio: Val Armorr was the son of Japan's greatest crimelord, Kirau Nezumi, also known as Black Dragon, When he was born, his mother, the American secret agent Valentina Armorr, tried to hide him from his father, but she failed and was killed for her affront. Japan's biggest hero Sensei Toshiaki, the White Crane, eventually killed Black Dragon for his crimes and adopted the infant Val. He raised Val as if he were his own son, and trained him in all manner of the martial arts.
Origin in scan form ^{(Superboy vol 1 #210})
Alternate look at his origin ^{(Secrets of the Legion of Super-Heroes #2})
Databook entries

• Superboy #205
• All-New Collector's Edition #55
• Who's Who: The Definitive Directory of the DC Universe #12
• Who's Who in the Legion of Superheroes #3
• DC Comics Encyclopedia: Updated and Expanded
• All New DC Comics Encyclopedia

Original Val

Strength
Note: Karate Kid needs to concentrate and channel his chi to perform feats of strength ^{(Adventure Comics #359})

• In his origin, chops through a steel beam ^{(Adventure Comics #346})
• Chops through a spaceship hull ^{(Adventure Comics #347})
• Lightning Lad flashes back to Karate Kid stopping a car with a single chop ^{(Adventure Comics #351})
• Knocks out a Jovian Mastodon and a Tricorn Beast with a single strike each, and judo throws a Sloth Ape ^{(Adventure Comics #358})
• Chops through two trees in one swing ^{(Adventure Comics #358})
• Analyzes some thick gates, then chops through them ^{(Adventure Comics #360})
• Kicks away a hover car ^{(Adventure Comics #361})
• Chops through a tank, then starts a small earthquake with a stomp ^{(Adventure Comics #367})
• Destroys a practice bot in a rage ^{(Adventure Comics #373})
• Claims his chops could fell giant redwoods ^{(Superboy vol 1 #203})
• Creates an earthquake with a stomp that breaks apart a statue ^{(Legion of Superheroes vol 3 #31})
  • Note: This is a flashback to earlier times, so despite being in vol 3, takes place Chronologically in vol 1, as shown by him wearing the brown gi instead of his more famous white one
• Punches through a robot ^{(Superboy vol 1 #214})
• Kicks a meteor to pieces ^{(Karate Kid #2})
• Creates a counter-vibration strong enough to reverse Major Disaster's artificial earthquake. ^{(Karate Kid #2}.)
• Flexes off six cavemen ^{(Karate Kid #11})
• [MASSIVE OUTLIER] When bound with ropes made of indestructible Inertron, he somehow manages to break free. ^{(Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes #231})
  • Album of Inertron being invulnerable/unbreakable/strong enough to resist Kryptonians
• Breaks out of a machine that saps powers, minds and will (Legion of Super-Heroes vol 3 004)

Speed

• Moves "with the speed of thought" ^{(Adventure Comics #361})
• Dodges Mano and Persuader's attacks ^{(Adventure Comics #378})
• Dodges Validus' mental lightning ^{(Adventure Comics #378})
• Dodges a blast from the Emerald Eye of Ekon ^{(Superboy vol 1 #198})
• Dodges a blast from *sigh* Radiation Roy ^{(Superboy vol 1 #208})
• Rushes forward and front tuck into a Rider Kick in a fraction of a second ^{(Superboy vol 1 #214})
• Dodges a bolt from Lightning Lad ^{(Karate Kid #1})
• Dodges radiation blasts from Nemesis Kid ^{(Karate Kid #1})
• Intercepts a falling meteor ^{(Karate Kid #2})
• Backflips over a bullet ^{(Karate Kid #2})
• Dodges a laser ^{(Karate Kid #13})
• Leaps over a bullet and behind a guy in less than a fifth of a second ^{(Karate Kid #15})
• Dances around Pharoxx's strikes ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes #309})
• Redirects Pharoxx's own magic against him ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes #309})

Durability

• Survives an explosion that KO'd and nearly killed his sensei ^{(Adventure Comics #367})
• Smacked by a giant robot and recovers being back to fighting shape on the next page ^{(Adventure Comics #373})
• Endures ever-increasing pain through meditative techniques even though the pain was so bad, it made Timber Wolf go feral within a few minutes ^{(Superboy vol 1 #209})
• Clears his mind of mental influences ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #268})
• Wades though blasts from Pharoxx ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #288})
• While sick, takes a blast from Pulsar ^{(The Brave and the Bold #198})
• Pulsar explodes right next to him and he's all good. ^{(The Brave and the Bold #198})
• Gets clawed by a monster and shrugs it off ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes #309})
• Gets blasted by Pharoxx's magic and recovers, while Pharoxx getting hit with the same blast made him immediately flee ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes #309})
• [Limit] Dies after being beaten nearly to death by Nemesis Kid, then missile launches himself into a planet-draining machine. ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 3 #4})

Skill
Statements and styles

• Great Skill in all forms of martial arts, but especially Karate and Judo ^{(Adventure Comics #346})
• Master of all forms of fighting ^{(Adventure Comics #359})
• Switches from Boxing to Savate to Kendo against a robot ^{(Adventure Comics #363})
• Knocks some guys out with chops to the back of the neck ^{(Adventure Comics #360})
• Mastered every weapon form "from fencing foils to Jovian trident spears" ^{(Adventure Comics #368})
• Temporarily puts Timber Wolf in a Judo hold ^{(Superboy vol 1 #209})
• Falkone IV arm riflie technique ^{(Karate Kid #12})
• Loback III restraining hold for non-powered people to restrain super-powered people ^{(Karate Kid #12})
• Karate, Judo, "Arcturian Sli-tilla", "Venusian Txrxvrx", and boxing ("the good old one-two punch") in one page ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #268})

Against skilled opponents (Solo)

• Beats a boxing champion ^{(Adventure Comics #377})
• Beats the absolute stuffing out of Black Mace ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 3 #31})
  • Black Mace is stated to be Ganglands's answer to Karate Kid ^{(Adventure Comics #374}) and a fast, strong invincible fighter ^{(Superboy #213})
• Beats Black Mask again, with an assist from Princess Projectra ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 3 #31})
• Quickly beats a dual nunchaku wielding black belt ^{(Karate Kid #3})
• Beats the Samurai known as Master Hand ^{(Karate Kid #4})
• Had the advantage on Black Dragon II, the student of his father he previously beat in Superboy vol 1 #210 ^{(Karate Kid #10})
• Karate Kid vs Black Dragon II in a ceremonial fight. ^{(Karate Kid #10})
• Beats Dick Grayson quickly ^{(Karate Kid #14})
• Wins a tournament and the title of Samurai, going down as the youngest to gain the title ^{(Secret Origins vol 2 #47})

Against Skilled opponents (groups)

• Defeats three Black Belts he claims could waste a battalion of ordinary men ^{(Superboy vol 1 #210})
• Beats six opponents trained by his father, Black Dragon, including the future Black Dragon II ^{(Superboy vol 1 #210})
• Beats a bunch of 20th-century martial arts masters ^{(Karate Kid #1})
• Quickly beats four martial artists ^{(Karate Kid #4})

Against superpowered opponents (1v1)

• Fights Superboy and does so well, Clark says he needs to be in the Legion ^{(Adventure Comics #346})
• Training with Superboy ^{(Adventure Comics #368})
• Gets the advantage over Don Allen, descendent of Barry Allen and a speedster ^{(Adventure Comics #373})
• Defeats Ultra Boy ^{(Adventure Comics #375})
• A brainwashed Karate Kid easily beats Ultra Boy ^{(Superboy vol 1 #205})
• Survives a fight with Superboy, though he constantly mentions he's outmatched and it's taking all of his skill to just survive . ^{(Karate Kid #12})
• Temporarily holds Superboy, but admits he needs help immediately and is losing him and is saved by Mordru's magic wearing off ^{(Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes #245})

Against Superpowered opponents (groups)

• Solos the Fatal Five ^{(Adventure Comics #378})
• Manages to hold his own against Lightning Lad, Superboy, Colossal Boy, Saturn Girl, Sun Boy, and Chameleon Boy before being stopped by Cosmic Boy ^{(Karate Kid #13})

Against Skilled Superpowered opponents

• Fights four superpowered assassins and is holding his own ^{(Adventure Comics #361})
• Beats Pharoxx of Orando in a sword fight, forcing Pharoxx to resort to magic ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #286})
• Beats Timber Wolf in a spar ^{(Legion of Superheroes vol 4 #52})

Accuracy

• Splits a rock so each half flies off and KOs a foe ^{(Adventure Comics 361})
• Hits a knight with a stone and KO's him ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #288})
• Uses his sash as a lasso to disarm Pulsar of his power staff ^{(The Brave and the Bold #198})

Agility

• Rushes forward and front tuck into a Rider Kick in a fraction of a second ^{(Superboy vol 1 #214})
• Contorts himself in mid-air to stop himself from falling out of a building then Jumps back in ^{(Karate Kid #1})
• Jumps from the street to a sign to a third story roof ^{(Karate Kid #2})
• Does a series of flips to land safely after jumping out of a building while holding someone ^{(Karate Kid #2})
• Jumps out of a window, does a ton of flips, and starts running on cars ^{(Karate Kid #3})
• Flips on a pole ^{(Karate Kid #11})
• Flips over a car ^{(Karate Kid #11})
• Flips out of Batman's grasp ^{(The Brave and the Bold #198})
• Rolls back to get out of a monster's range, then launches himself into a flying kick ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #309})

Weak Point Sensing

• Finds the weak point in a diamond ^{(Adventure Comics# 365})
• Finds the weak point in a wall ^{(Superboy vol 1 #210})
• Finds Omega's weakest point, but is too weak to capitalize on it ^{(Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes #251}). This is the first time it's called an explicit "power" and not a skill.
• Finds the weak point in a hatch ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes #277})
• Originally struggled to find a weak point in massive chains encircling Earth, but after getting a hint from Princess Projectra manages to sense and destroy it ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #279})

Retroboot Val

Despite dying.....Val Armorr's back and in the past! ^{(Justice League of America vol 2 #7}) How? Never explained! ^{(Justice League of America #10}) Here's his feats. Note: All feats are done while he's dying (Countdown Weeks 14-15/ 38-37) from what's later revealed to be the Morticoccus Virus

• While disguised as a supervillain, freezes Parasite without Black Lightning realizing Parasite was the target ^{(Justice League of America vol 2 #2})
• KO's Black Lightning with a chop to the neck and stalemates (and arguably has the advantage over) Batman while sick and memoryless ^{(Justice League of America vol 2 #8})
  • Another view of the fight ^{(Countdown Week 2/#50})
  • Doctor Mid-Nite says Karate Kid very nearly took down Batman in that fight ^{(Countdown Week 7/#45})
  • Batman conceeds Val outfought him but claims he wouldn't in a rematch though he may have been being a jerk to get into Val's head ^{(Countdown Week 10/#42})
• Is still conscious and talking despite being loaded up with enough tranquilizers to give Wonder Woman trouble ^{(Justice League of America vol 2 #8})
• Somehow survives Speed Force Lightning that should have insta-killed him ^{(Justice League of America vol 2 #10})
• Finds the weak point in a vault he's sealed in ^{(Countdown Week 13/#39})
• Tears through Oracle's tendrils and punches through a wall ^{(Countdown Week 13/#39})
• Hurts Equus, an enhanced being who bragged he had fought Superman ^{(Countdown Week 16/#36})
• Kicked Equus arm clean off his body ^{(Countdown Week 17/#35})
• Breaks shotguns and kicks a police car over ^{(Supergirl vol 5 #21})
• [Limit] While he can dodge her attacks, can't move Supergirl with his strikes ^{(Supergirl vol 5 #21})
• Chops Equus arm off ^{(Supergirl vol 5 #22})
• [Limit] The closer to death he gets, the less he's able to focus and use Super-Karate feats ^{(Countdown week 32/#20})
• Takes out four Apokoliptians ^{(Countdown Week 41/#11})
• Takes a hit from an OMAC and shows some agility ^{(Countdown Week 42/#10})
• Dies of the virus ^{(Countdown Week 45/#7})
• Time Trapper puts his and Una's bodies in the mainline Earth when they had died in Earth-51 ^{(Action Comics #864})

Misc

• As a Legionnaire, he has a Legion flight ring ^{(Karate Kid #1})
• Invited his 20th-century friend to his wedding, not realizing she was in love with him ^{(The Brave and the Bold #198})
• Man married a princess. Respect. ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes Vol 2 annual 2})
• Brave enough to try to hit Darkseid with a flying kick, though all it accomplishes is knocking himself out. ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 2 #294})
• It's implied he somehow came back/will come back to life again, but this wasn't elaborated on because of the Flashpoint thanks Barry ^{(Legion of Super-Heroes vol 6 #6})
  • Time Trapper also foreshadowed this ^{(Action Comics 864})

I've been feeling some kinda way lately and I don't know what this feeling is or even how to describe it … it feels like my whole being is vibrating but is also about to explode. Not physically, obviously, but every ounce of me feels this … urgency (for lack of a better word). And I'm wondering why?
I feel uneasy, on edge and shaky, almost like my fight/flight/freeze response has been activated. But there's no reason for that, I'm not afraid of or triggered by anything. I feel it deep in my heart (metaphorically), it comes from a place I can't reach anymore and it pulses out in waves. So far, nothing I've tried has been successful in soothing this feeling and I really just want it to stop.
And it's not really physical but it is … I've felt so restless and unsettled and I'm overwhelmed with feelings of ennui (more than my usual). I feel trapped in this cage that I didn't build. I don't know or understand why, nothing has changed in my life to cause these changes or these feelings. Maybe that's the problem … there hasn't been any change.
No change in my heart, no change in my mind, no worthwhile change in my life. What has to come first? I'm standing right here, why don't I just jump? I'm not afraid to fall, I can't get any lower than this. I gave everything away, all of me, every single piece. There's nothing to hold onto anymore, there's nothing holding onto me. Why don't I just jump?
Embrace the freedom of the fall.
And fall, and fall and fall.
I'll never land again. I don't want to. Every place I've ever landed has been wrong, someone else's home, never my own and so many places I just didn't belong. I don't belong. Not to anyone or anything or anywhere and I don't try to, I never have. I've always known where I stand; on the outside, looking in.
I don't stare longingly into those windows anymore, I only look in the mirror. Everything I have left is everything I'll ever need again, it has to be and it has to be found inside of me - I think I would be remiss to allow myself to ever again look outside, or to dream of what wonder could be found just within the faint glow of an open window.
All of my windows have been broken and I'm obviously missing something, I think I always have been. I don't know if it's a thing that I lost or if I've yet to find it. But I do know that what's missing can't be kept and I have never been kept, by heart or hand. I lived for love once but only emptiness knows my address now.
Maybe someday I'll find what's missing but until then I guess I'll just keep feeling some kinda way.
And wondering why.

So I use my dads bike often (Suzuki C50T) and today I decided to ride on the highway for a long stretch of road (~150 miles round trip) before going on the highway i noticed a lot of buffeting and stopped and saw the windshield was all the way up to the highest height. So i loosened the bolts and moved the windsheild to the middle. Now there was less but still unbearable going 60. So I then stopped and lowered it fully.
Now that it was lowered fully, there wasnt much wind vibration until going past 60 or so, with more vibration/shaking past 70mph. And given that on the highway I cruise going between 70 and 90 you can expect the shaking gets pretty annoying.
Now the helmet is also my dads and we have the same headshape but its a smidge big for me. Doing the head-tilt-with-helmet-on test, I can get once eye to the edge of the visible area on the helmet. So I just tighten the strap more to help a little but doesnt do much.
QUESTION: show I raise the windshield more, try how it feels with no windshield and gauge from there, tighter helmet maybe?
(The helmet fits like a sock: around my head but not snug tight)