I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Exciting-Turnip7126. She posted in
MarkNarrations and
TrueOffMyChest.
Thanks to
u/Literally_Taken for finding this and recommending it.
Read the trigger warnings. A reminder to not comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.
Trigger Warning: graphic descriptions of child abuse; infidelity; verbal abuse; financial abuse; Mood Spoiler: surprisingly happy ending Background Post: January 21, 2024 Editor's note: This post is tangentially related to the main post as it discusses some of OOP's background.
I feel so lost. I don't know what to do and I feel sick. I (41F) have been no contact my with my mother for the past 11 years following years of physical, financial, and emotional abuse as well as years of parentification.
To give everyone an idea, my mother started abusing me physically and emotionally from the age of 6 , which is when we both moved out of the extended family home. I never knew my father so until I was 6 I grew up in a home with my mother, her 3 siblings and her parents (my grandparents).
Her physical abuse consisted of pinching and twisting until my skin blistered or tore. Grabbing me by the arm or leg so hard she'd leave a bruise in the shape of her hand. Throwing things at me like drinking glasses. A few times I couldn't go to school because the bruises were in places that were visible.
Her emotional abuse was just as bad. Telling me she'd throw me outside and lock the door so the boogeyman would take me if I didn't do exactly what she said. This was all when I was under the age of 10.
The parentification started when I was 11 when my first half brother was born. He was my sole responsibility. Same when my second half brother was born when I was 18.
The financial abuse started when I was 12 when I had my first tutoring job. She's take my money to buy alcohol. I would hide my money so I could buy food for me and brother or my cat since she'd forget and just say to "eat whatever".
Financially, she wrecked my credit. I lent her my credit card when I was 21 (stupid I know) to help her with her business. She said, as my mother, I owed it to her. Back then I was still in the mindset I was taught growing up. That family was what was most important. Now I know better and have worked hard for years to build my credit back up.
Back to my dilemma. We (me and my bf 45M) have been invited to a friend's wedding. There's a chance my mother may be there.
What makes me anxious is we have a 9.5 month old baby girl. Yes I had my baby late. There's a long tradition of the women in my family being abusive. I didn't want children for the longest time. I don't regret having my daughter. She's my world and I love her more than anything and I know my mother would demand to see her if given the chance. The thought of my mother seeing her and just seeing my mother in general makes me feel sick with anxiety and on the verge of sobbing.
These emotions come up because I think of my daughter being exposed to her and I can do is cry.
On the other hand I want to go to the wedding. My friends who are getting married know my history with my mother. I have a feeling they'd invite her to be polite.
How can I get through this?
Relevant Comments: Commenter: I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. While I can't tell friends who they should invite to their wedding, I would think good friends would be aware of the friction. I'd certainly ask if my mother had been invited. If they answer yes, then I would skip the wedding. If your mother is still drinking and abusive, there's no way I'd risk running into her again. Just not worth it.
OOP: Thank you. Exactly. I don't want to be that person who dictates who they can/can't invite.
That's a good idea. I will ask if she was invited/ RSVPed yes. She drinks less now. Her heavy drinking resulted in her getting type 2 diabetes. Even with less alcohol, she apparently is still very manipulative and abusive according to my youngest half brother.
Commenter: Wishing you luck. Don’t blame you at all! My mother’s father (grandfather is too familial for him) was a narcissist, abuser too. Had to control every and all situations. Refused to give him any leeway and never spoke to him for the last 10 or so years of his life. If I had kids, I would not have allowed him to be apart of their lives either. There is no need to have another generation subjected to the vitriol and physical violence. Go to the party, support your brother. You don’t have to say a word to her. Make Her look stupid by ignoring her.
OOP: Thank you so much for your comment! I'm so sorry you had to go through that too and you're absolutely right when you said
"There is no need to have another generation subjected to the vitriol and physical violence."
My mother is the way she is because of her mother who was so much worse. That's why I had my daughter later in life. I was child Free out of fear of being like them but my step-dad and boyfriend both told me the same thing: I know how not to parent.
Mini update (Same Post, Next Day) I don't know if this is how we update but I'm going to do it anyway lol. Thank you to everyone who commented and you all had the same advice. So I contacted the bride last night. She wrote me back this morning. She did not invite my mother. She knows a little bit of my history with my mother and said she rarely speaks to her. She wants me and my step-father there. He too would not want my mother there (he went through a lot of abuse too at my mother's hand). So my friend wanted us to have a good time and is not inviting my mother.
Thank you all again so very much for reading my post. I was so afraid of being that person who causes drama over who is/isn't invited and didn't want to cause my friend stress that I started imagining all possible scenarios of what could happen if she was that and spiraled into an emotional crying mess.
After all your comments, some ginger ale a hug from my husband and baby, I was able to get some sleep.
Thank you all again very much
Original Post: April 16, 2024 (4 months later) Title: I had to end my 11 yr NC with my mother and her siblings for a family event. I will see her for the first time this Saturday. I'm overthinking everything...
I (41F) went NC with my entitled narcissistic mother and her siblings 11 years ago after years of physical, emotional and financial abuse as well as years of parentification starting when I was 11 yrs old. None of her siblings said or did anything. They just looked the other way and told me I was too emotional and exaggerate everything.
My brother (30M) and his girlfriend (22F) are having a baby shower for their first baby this Saturday, my mother is organizing it and sent out invites and created a Facebook event. This is why I went stopped my NC, so I could see the event and mark myself as going.
I refuse to let a POS human being prevent me from being there for brother and his girlfriend, even if that person is my mother. I'm not going to lie, I spiralled when I first saw my mother's invite. All the years of abuse, days of missed elementary school because the bruises were in visible places, all came back. My step-dad (54M) talked me down and we're going together. He was abused by her just as bad as I was, if not worse.
My mother is organizing the baby shower because my brother is close with her. Yes he knows what she did but thinks I should just forgive and forget, which I have multiple times but that never stopped the abuse.
My biggest concern is my boyfriend and I have a child (1F) and when my brother found out, he started again with how I should forgive and forget. I told him I don't expect him to not tell my mother about my child but to respect that she will not be in my child's life. Since my daughter was born there were some not so subtle attempts from her to like pictures of my daughter. She even sent me a friend request once, which I deleted right away. She's the jealous vindictive type so it wouldn't surprise me if she pressured my brother to get his girlfriend pregnant so she'd have a grand-child too (She's jealous of my step-dad for being a grand dad).
For those wondering why I didn't block her, I did but unblocked every now and then because I was paranoid she'd try something with grand-parents rights, even though I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on for that or try to get sympathy for not seeing my daughter. This still bothers me to this day sometimes. The nightmares and hormones have me paralyzed in fear. All this to say my mother would be the type of person to post about this on social media and if she does, I want to be able to get screenshots of it and address it right away because she's a master manipulator.
I decided to take a big step and started therapy for the first time last week. Therapy was always something ridiculed and seen as something for weak people by my family. My boyfriend (44M) agreed with the therapy and even asked me how I felt afterwards. He's my rock and my everything. We've been together for 20 years. For those wondering, why we aren't married because we don't really don't care. We love each other and for us that's enough. Therapy helped a lot. I have another session this week, two days before I see her again. My therapist called me brave, which honestly surprised me. I never thought of myself as being brave.
Anyway, I'll update after the baby shower.
Relevant Comments: Commenter: Your brother deems his deference for your mother above the abuse thar he knows you suffered. However much you care for him, your feelings are secondary as far as he's concerned... Why stress? Spend the day with someone who loves you.
OOP: thank you for your comment. I do agree with you that my feelings are completely secondary to him. Unfortunately, he's very much like her personality wise but his girlfriend is a gem and keeps him level headed (even he admits its lol). My dad and I have an agreement that if either of us are uncomfortable we'll leave right away. We're going as each other's support. Plus I worked really hard on a crocheted baby blanket, hats and mitts lol.
Why are you putting yourself in this situation? Thank you so much for your concern. Yes it's going to be stressful but after having lost my entire family when going NC, I went a few years with no contact with anyone, including my step-dad and brothers. She had turned everyone against me which destroyed me. I felt so abandoned. Once her lies, cheating and abuse were exposed is when my step-dad and one of my two brothers came back in my life. The one brother who came back (23M) isn't the one who's baby shower I'm going to (30M). Yes there's a massive age difference between us (I'm 41F). I raised the two of them alone. I felt like I had lost everything when they went NC. Them coming back felt like a second chance. Brother 30M came back a few years after. He's very easily manipulated and has the same kind of personality as my mother: vain, narcissistic and selfish but he's a watered down version without the abuse.
Basically I'm putting myself in this situation for my second chance little family I was able to form after the fallout. Seems ridiculous but I'd feel terrible to not try.
Commenter: I too, think it is a bad idea. I cannot imagine spending time around someone that was abusive to me for years just to appease my brother who didn't even care that I was abused, still maintains a close relationship with my abuser and on top of it has the audacity to tell me to forgive and forget. That part is throwing me. I cannot for the life of me imagine my mom hurting my sister who I love, yet still wanting to be cool with my mom, my mom would be dead to me. And I get Op is fond of her brother's gf but like someone else suggested take her out to lunch or do something else nice with her, like a spa day and give her the gift.
OOP: As much as I would love to do all the above, it's really hard with how far my brother and his girlfriend live and their job. They both work really long shifts. I know it's confusing and even I wonder sometimes, especially that he plays off my trauma like I'm exaggerating, but the best way I can put it is in a way we have a way to start over. After the year did abuse, not just to me but my step-dad also, we want to try and make our little family of chosen people work. We never got a chance to do that, ever. I would have to do a post by itself about my family and all the bullshit that lead to the NC. That would be a massive post in itself. So much to unpack but therapy is helping.
Lastly, I was happy to hear my brother's girlfriend put her foot down with certain things with my mother. My brother will get to see our mother's real personality with his baby. I hope he steps up for his girlfriend and their baby.
Commenter: It's ok to prioritize your self and your family. You cannot thrive and be bountiful if you don't. If not going is best for you. That is ok. What is best for you is ok. It took me a long time to say that! It's not selfish to do what's best for you and your LO
(Editor's note- little one) OOP: I've really been leveraging "No" as a full sentence and have been using that as a filter for people I want to keep in my life. If people can't respect me when I say no, then what else are they going to disrespect me on.
At first I did not want to go. I had a full blown crying, shaking, dry heaving meltdown. After composing myself, I called my dad and he talked me through it and said he was going. He was heavily abused too so I know it's just as hard for him. That's why we're going as each other's support. As for my daughter, she's staying home with my boyfriend having a daddy daughter day.
Commenter: Eh, I would suggest just using her first name, not "mother." Deny the relationship. Twist that knife.
OOP: I have. I use mother here because I've used "egg donor" in the past and people were super confused. Even to my step-dad and brothers I call her by her first name.
Commenter: I'm a cross stitcher and knitter, I feel your pain. (
Editor's note- OOP commented at one point that she had a handmade gift for the new baby) As for the shower, have you considered that by going you are letting her win? She gets to show everyone how mean you are to her, she gets to create drama and blame it on you. Think on this, a narcissist thrives on attention any attention, even bad, is a balm to their soul.
She will do everything in her power to make you look bad. There is no way to win, except by ignoring her existence.
OOP: Thank you! I have considered that side too. I'm going by my dad's experience. He had to see her a month ago or so for the gender reveal and he said she looked resigned. Almost emotionless. She's already painted me in a bad light to the entire family (her sisters, her brother and their kids) who will also be there by the way. But they're all so non-confrontational and fake.
I know my mother is throwing the baby shower for exactly that reason. She wants attention. My dad and I agreed to leave right away if either of us feels uncomfortable.
Commenter: You want to be there for a grown ass man who doesn’t care about you being abused. Why do you still care about him? When has he ever cared about you??
OOP: Thank you for your comment. We used to be close a long ago. We've gotten a lot better in the past 2 years. He was really badly manipulated by my mother for many years. He took for granted that what she was telling him was true because she's our mother and she wouldn't lie, which is so dumb, I know. He's learning that more and more. I think he's seeing it more now that she keeps trying to ask him for money, like I warned him she would.
Commenter: Brother will change his mind about mother once she starts abusing his kid. These kinds of things don't just stop. Good luck to you!
OOP: Thank you! I really hope it doesn't come to that but it wouldn't surprise me. I think it'll be more my brother's girlfriend putting her foot down with my mother's involvement (she'll probably try to involve herself in everything). My brother will be forced to choose and in general does what his girlfriend says since she's the most down to earth, realistic and normal out of the two. She keeps him level, his words exactly.
Commenter: You DON’T have to go. Just because your brother has poor taste in people doesn’t mean you have to be around your abuser. You can see him other times.
OOP: Thank you for your comment. I know I don't. I'm choosing to go. I feel like I'm letting my mother get under my skin and win by not going and that makes me even angrier. That's where I'm at at the moment.
Editor's note: All edits take place on the same post.
EDIT: I'm sorry if I'm, confusing anyone by saying "my dad" when referring to my step-dad. To me he is my dad. He and I have gone through hell and back together in regards to my mom. Our experience has brought us closer than ever.
EDIT 2: I am NOT bringing my daughter. She's staying home and having a daddy daughter day with my boyfriend.
EDIT 3: April 16 or 17, 2024 (Same day/day after) Holy cow I did not expect this many comments! Thank you all so much! You have no idea how much I appreciate it. That's what I love at MarkNarrations. I love this sub. It's such a tightly knit community. My daughter knows the sound of his voice now and comes running to see when I play his videos on my tablet lol.
One thing I want to tell everyone, you don't need to worry about me breaking down, crying, or having a meltdown. I'm at a point in my life where I don't get sad. I get angry and my worry is if she tries anything, my step-dad will have to jump him and pull me back. And I have no problems calling her out on her abuse. Many years ago she made him nearly homeless where he only had enough money to pay his mortgage but had to go to the food bank for food. He didn't tell me because he knew I probably would have done something I'd regret later. He only told me after the fact and I cried tears of anger and disbelief at being related to someone so vile. When I get overwhelmed I cry, which I find so embarrassing.
I am seeing therapist this Thursday, two days before the shower and I'm really looking forward to it. I will keep you all updated. Thank you all again so much. I really love this sub <3
EDIT 4: April 18, 2024 (two days later) Thank you all again so much for all the love and support. I'm sorry I didn't clarify this before. I have 2 brothers 30M and 23M. My brothers are my half-brothers (We share the same mother. Their father is my step-dad). Just like how I call my step-dad "dad", I call my half-brothers, "brothers".All the comments, advise and suggestions have been amazing and some really really funny. I'm feeling so much better after reading all the support and am started to look forward to the baby shower, especially that my step-dad texted me saying he met my mother's husband this week and that the man's face was priceless after my step-dad introduced himself to him. I asked for more details but he said we'll talk about it on the drive over.
After that, I wanted to give you all a full scope of who my mother is and what kind of a piece of shit human being she really is. I put it in point form instead of a giant block of text:
- Her physical abuse started at 6-7 years old. It was pinching and twisting until my skin tore. Grabbing me by the arm or leg so hard she'd leave hand shaped bruises. Slapping me across the face so hard, I'd have the imprint of her hand on my face. Throwing objects at me. She almost broke my orbital bone when I was 8 after throwing a glass at my face after I said a swear word in public for the first time. A few times I couldn't go to school because the bruises were in visible places.
- Telling me she'd throw me outside and lock the door so the boogeyman would take me if I didn't do exactly what she said. This was all when I was under the age of 10.
- The parentification started when I was 11 when my first brother was born. He was my sole responsibility. Same when my second brother was born when I was 18.
- The financial abuse started when I was 12 when I had my first job tutoring the neighbour's son. She'd take my money to buy alcohol. I would hide my money so I could buy food for me and brother or my cat since she'd forget and just say to "eat whatever".
- Financially speaking, she wrecked my credit. I lent her my credit card when I was 21 (stupid I know) to help her with her business. She said, as my mother, I owed it to her. Back then I was still in the mindset I was taught growing up. That family was what was most important. Now I know better and have worked hard for years to build my credit back up.
- She tried to get back in contact with me 8 years ago by wishing me happy birthday on facebook under my brother's comment (they're facebook friends). This was 2 weeks after we were contacted about inheritance following my grandfather's death a few months before. She hadn't contacted me for anything the 3 years previous. So gross, especially since she inherited way more than I or my brothers did.
- As for my step-dad - she cheated on him for 6 years with some guy she met down in the Caribbean. So not only is she abusive, she's also a cheating piece of shit. She would fly out down there 6 to 7 times a year by herself for her "me" time and would lose it when my step-dad asked to join her. All the money he gave her to pay the mortgage, hydro, and other utilities, she'd send to her boy toy, now her husband. My step-dad almost lost his house and she ruined his credit too by racking up credit card and cell phone bills. Her credit was so bad, she couldn't get a phone. I had had enough and confronted her. They split up not long after and that's when all my mother's lies and manipulation came to light.
- They owned a company together that my mother's brother bought from them. My step-dad and mom had each taken out a loan with the bank to start the company together and were still making payments to it after they split. My step-dad paid his loan off first and that made my mother so angry and jealous she had her brother help her take my step-dad to court to sue him and have him pay her loan. She won. He had to go to the food bank for a while because he couldn't afford anything else but the mortgage and hydro.
I have therapy this afternoon and can't wait. I felt so much better last week after just 1 session. You all have made me feel so much stronger and confident. Let me know if you have any questions or need clarification on anything I wrote above.
Update (Same Post): April 20, 2024 (4 days from OG post) UPDATE! Today was the baby shower and omg! I'm putting everything in point form because there's a lot to update you all on. I'm typing from my cellphone as I'm rocking my daughter to sleep. I missed her so much today.
1 - my dad invited his female best friend to come with us to the baby shower. We'll call her Sally. She's a wonderful woman with a big heart and very protective of my dad, especially since she knows my mother fairly well and works at the same place as her. The first time she and I met we were talking about each other's work and she was going on about this awful co-worker who was so bossy, blamed everyone else for her mistakes and took the praise for other people's work. Turns out it was my mother lol. Basically my mother was not happy Sally was coming.
2 - Both my dad and Sally said my mother texted them to say the baby shower started at 1:30. It didn't. The invite clearly said 1pm. I told them we're getting there for 1pm and was 99% sure my mother was trying to make them look bad out of jealousy. I was right. We arrived at 12:55 pm and my mother's deer in the headlights look on her face said it all.
Guys I stayed composed. I did it! My hands were shaking but I kept them in my pockets. Sally saw this and squeezed my arm.
My mother came out of her daze and came over "oh OP! You came!? It's nice to see you!"
I smirked at her obvious lie and discomfort at being caught, said "Nice to see you too. Where do I put my gift?" She took my gift and put it on the table with the other gifts.
3 - My mother's two siblings showed up with their daughters. One sister greeted me like an acquaintance, which I appreciated. The other pretended I wasn't even there.
4 - my dad, Sally and I sat at a table with one of my dad's former work buddies. We had a blast. My mother was not impressed. Shooting us dirty looks. So much so my dad's friend turned to me and said "uh oh. I think we might need to keep it down". Everyone else was talking loudly, we weren't the only ones. She just didn't like that we were having fun.Me "forget her. She always looks like that." My dad spit out his drink laughing. I didn't say it loud enough for her to hear (at least I don't think so and didn't care in the moment to be honest) but we did get more dirty looks lol.
4 - my mother whipped out a headset with a microphone hooked to a tiny speaker that she hooked to the back of her pants, like she was some sort of talk show host. I shit you not. I didn't notice until my dad said "what the fuck..." I looked over and couldn't help but laugh. Did I mention my mother thrives on being the center of attention, even at her own son's baby shower.
5 - she had us play games and whatnot which was fun. I participated and had fun, until my mother handed diapers with melted chocolate bars on them and gave them out to my two brothers my dad and another guy at the shower. She wanted them to taste what was in the diaper and guess the chocolate bar. The way the chocolate was melted you could tell some of the crotch of the diaper had turned gelatinous (which is what it's supposed to do when a baby pees. I doubt that gel is for human consumption). Me in my now very comfortable seat at the shower blurted "that's disgusting". I got a few responses agreeing with " uh yeah... That's gross".
6 - then there was the bottle drinking game. My mother dropped the bottle full of grape juice in front of my dad like he was a bug she was trying to squish with the bottle. It was so obvious that the girl at the table next to us tapped my shoulder and asked why "the woman with the microphone just pitched the bottle to the poor guy in the blue shirt". I told her the guy was my dad and the woman was his ex, my mother. The girl apologized profusely. I told her not to, that she said nothing wrong and that my mother was just like that.
7 - my dad and I went out for supper afterwards and what I found out over guys... OMG! Turns out my mother was upset with my dad because she asked my other brother (not the one having the baby shower) to try and put in a good word for her to my dad because she wanted to get back together with him and he just laughed. He didn't know what else to say. Need I remind you all that she's currently married to the man she cheated on my dad with for 6 years!
She married and sponsored this man from the Caribbeans to come to Canada. According to my brother, this poor man is treated like a tenant and is forced to live in her basement. WTF
My dad laughed when he saw my face and told me not to worry, that there's no way in hell he would ever consider getting back with her. I told him good because I'd have to smack some sense into him if he did.
He's 99% positive she's trying to get back with my dad to try and reconcile with me to have access to my daughter. He said he'd rather die than let that happen.
So there you have it. What a shit show, but it was a fun shit show that I did not expect in the least. Thank you all again for all your comments and support. It was so very appreciated.
Relevant Comment: Commenter: You handled that well. Now just go back to pretending she doesn’t exist. She doesn’t deserve anything different. The best revenge is living well.
OOP: That's exactly the plan! Thank you again for your comments.
Hi Mark. A while ago, you did a vid on the cancer survivor wife taking a hall pass.
There are updates! Or at least one. I can't figure out how to send the link to the post - maybe because it's a bestof? I dunno! So I just posted the whole darn thing.
[Final Update] - OOP's cancer survivor wife wanted a "Hall Pass"
I am NOT OP. Original post by
u/throwawaytogetherccc in
offmychest and
survivinginfidelity trigger warnings:
infidelity, cancer mood spoilers:
sad and depressing for OOP New updates start from 12th September 2023. Previous BORU is here. Editor's Note - OOP misgendered u/angelposts, this has been corrected.
I am at a loss as to what to do with my (54M) wife (51F) request - 24th June 2023 My wife and I have been married since 2001 and together since 1999. She is the most intelligent, thoughtful, caring, loyal person I know, and I have always thought of myself as fortunate to have met and married her. She is, even today, aesthetically beautiful and men have told her this throughout our marriage. She has always shot them down.
Earlier this year, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer, stage 1 and had a full hysterectomy. I was never concerned about the cancer, it was diagnosed early, dealt with quickly and she made a full recovery. I took time off work to look after her after the surgery and all seemed well. There were some to-be-expected emotional instances on her part and although I am not an emotional person, we dealt with them together.
After her recover, she was insistent that we start “living life to the fullest” and took a 10 day trip to Europe, followed by a trip to Belize. We also have a trip to the UK and Spain/Portugal later this year. I am fine with these things, building memories and crossing bucket-list adventures off heour list. I also understand that these are a result of feeling fragile on her part. She also took up Yoga, Swimming and healthy cooking classes. I was fully onboard until last week.
Last week she came home from work and told me she wanted a “hall pass”. A one-time opportunity for her to have sex with someone else besides me. She said that since her cancer diagnosis her outlook on life has changed and she doesn’t want to be handcuffed from doing things she wants do. She explained that there is this guy at her work that she has always had some attraction to. He is leaving the company and she will never see him again, so this is the perfect opportunity to sleep with someone else. She said that I could say no of course but that she would “be mad/disappointed at me for an indeterminate amount of time and that it would be confirmation of my male toxicity and insecurity.”
I don’t consider myself to be toxic and if not wanting your wife of 20+ years to have sex with someone else is insecure than I guess I am insecure. I told her that I appreciated her talking to me about this but approval via coercion is not approval. I also said that I do not appreciate her language in describing my, as of yet, unknown reaction to this very large issue that could affect the rest of our marriage/life.
I got up in the morning she basically said that she was sorry for putting such a large decision solely on my shoulders and that to “help” she was taking the decision away from me. She booked a hotel near where her coworkers are having a party/send-off for this guy and she would spend the night there, with him and hoped that I would be here when she got back. That she would answer any questions I have about the night after it happened but not before. She will not tell me who he is or anything about him “because she knows me too well and that I will dwell and obsess over him” and that would make it “too real for me” which is pretty accurate. Her POV is that the less I know the better which contradicts the offer to tell me anything I want to know after it happened. I think she knows I wont want to know/ask anything or she simply will not tell me.
Part of me thinks, at least she has been honest with me and she has been through a lot since finding out she had cancer so maybe I should just let it happen. I certainly have no concept of what she went through so I cannot dismiss how this affected her mental state/outlook on life. Part of me wants to put my foot down and say this is not going to happen and deal with those consequences when they happen. Her BFF called me callous for even suggesting that I wouldn’t let it happen, because I have no idea what she went through. I find it hard to believe that she is OK with the possibility of throwing away 20+ years of marriage over some guy that she has had no relationship with outside of work and that I should just call her bluff. Maybe she thinks similarly that I won’t throw away the marriage because of one encounter. I just don’t know what to do. I empathize with her and then an instant later I am angry with her.
Part of me wants to know who this guy is? What does he look like, what has he got that is so enthralling for her. Is he just a safe option? Is he married? Does his wife know? Would I be a callous asshole for saying No? What can I do besides walking away?
TLDR: Wife battled cancer, won, but now wants to have one night with a soon-to-be former coworker and I have no say in the matter. Accept it or destroy 20+ years of a great marriage.
Top Comment from u/Biauralbeats Kinda think this is the way your marriage will be from now on. With her epiphany, she wants to relive her life and she is going to do it regardless of your feelings. I think she is being rather selfish and probably only threatens this because she thinks you are beaten down and will simply put up with it. Perhaps not the best time for trips and frills. She wants the single life- let her see what that means.
OOP replies to some comments She thinks because she will never see this guy again and that I have never met him (supposedly) that it wont really affect me or our marriage in the long term. I am left with accepting it and never viewing her the same way again or going through a divorce at 54. Not really great options on either front. I don't know where her head is and the bout with cancer is affecting her in ways that I couldn't possibly imagine. I don't think she believes I will leave. Update my cancer survivor wife wanted a "Hall Pass" UPDATE - 28th June 2023 I received a ton of advice that I couldn't possibly respond to. I do appreciate the people who took time to offer advice in the comments or via PM. It has been an exhausting couple of days.
I was hoping that my opposition to her plans would give her pause, but unfortunately that did not happen. I said I am a hard no, and I am not sure how I will feel about you, if you go ahead with it. I was met once again with “this is for me, it will be one time, what can I say to help you deal with it, you’ll get over it, we were meant to be regardless of the situation” remarks leading up to Saturday.
She left Saturday, ostensibly to meet her coworkers, but in reality fuck the guy. I asked her to text me when she was leaving for the bar and when she did I asked her if she was really going to go through with this. After her response “I am not answering anymore questions tonight, I will see you tomorrow.” I blocked my wife. Then I did something either stupid or brilliant.
I went to the bar where the get-together was happening. Well not the bar but a transit bench across the street. I waited for a long time. It was running through my mind the leading up to this event, that I need to know who this guy was, maybe to compare myself against him. To see what he had that I do not. It was driving me crazy not knowing who he was and what was so special about him that she would ruin a marriage for.
After what seemed like eternity, a woman that I recognized from my wife’s office left the bar and got in a cab. Soon other people started filing out and a whole group came out and people were hugging a man and shaking his hand. I assumed that I had my guy. I didn’t see my wife and had a brief thought that maybe she called it all off. I unblocked her and there were no messages.
Everyone said their goodbyes and left, dude was standing outside for a few minutes and then my wife came out. She looked around, took his hand and started walking away together. Of all the emotions I went through, trepidation, sadness, anger, it was disgust that really encapsulated the event for me. This guy was short, fat, and bald, all the things I cannot compete with. Ultimately, I felt like a pervert for watching from a distance. I followed until they got to the hotel, and then turned around and went home.
I woke up Sunday morning and put a lock on the master bedroom door. I moved her things to the spare room and left a note asking her to find other accommodations as quickly as possible. I visited another friend who is a lawyer and he gave me some sage advice and a couple of recommendations for divorce attorneys and made the introductions. My wife had been calling me numerous time since around 11 or so. Once blocked the calls go to voicemail. I listened to the first couple but felt nothing but some satisfaction when she couldn’t get through to me and she was obviously becoming concerned.
I didn’t want to go home but I left in such a hurry that I didn’t plan an overnight properly. I got home around 9 and as per my buddy’s advice, I recorded the interaction. I was halfway up the stairs when she came up from the family room asking what was going on? Could we talk? I thought we talked about this? I just answered with I am not interested in discussing this tonight and went to bed. After not getting a response from me through the door she left me alone. I feel kind of like a child for not talking with her and shutting the door on her but I just couldn't look at her. Monday I got up and ready for work, she was waiting for me and asked if we could discuss getting back to normal. I said, you have been doing all the talking for the both of us for the last week, why don’t you continue and left for work. I have an appointment with the attorneys my friend recommended for this week.
TLDR: She went ahead with it. I am actually more disgusted by who she chose than the sex itself, if that makes any sense. I asked her to find somewhere else to live.
Top Comment from u/RJPONY01 I can only hope that you've decided to do what's best for you. At the end of the day you're the one that has to live with your decisions. From your previous post it's obvious that your wife, and I use that term merely as a placeholder, has made her decision. I know that having something that has been such a huge part of your life end can be daunting, but sometimes it's for the best.
Potential Waywards & The BFF - 2nd August 2023 The BFF does not have your best interests in mind. The BFF wants to validate their bad choices by encouraging you to make the same ones. The BFF lives for the drama they help create. The BFF is titillated by the details. The BFF cultivates misery. The BFF is a narcissist, who cant help themselves, so if the statement, JUST GO FOR IT, YOU DESERVE IT, HE DOESN’T APPRECIATE YOU, HE DOESN’T RESPECT YOU, and in my case, YOU FACED YOUR OWN MORTALITY AND YOU SHOULDN’T LET ANYONE HOLD YOU BACK FROM DOING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, maybe realize that you should talk with your significant other and explain what you are feeling. You owe it to them to discuss the way you’re feeling about yourself, your partner and your marriage.
Comments from OOP Yeah, once the dust settled I realized that I was desperate to hold on to something that no longer existed. I have initiated divorce proceedings. She has regret. Not remorse. Of course those are different things with different meanings. She regrets what has happened because her life is upside down now. Someone in a private message asked if her cancer could be back and spread to her brain which I don't know if it has actually happened or not, but I doubt it would make any difference to me at this point. I just don't see her the same way any more. I told all her friends husbands about how they enabled this behavior and the fall-out is interesting. I said that maybe they are covering for one another, that maybe my wife was just the next link in the chain. This got them going through their wives phones. A couple found inappropriate sexting. All husbands have made their wives cut off my wife (and each other). Was BFF one of those sexting? Of course. The BFF's husband says that she was definitely in a EA and probably a PA as well. He is still digging.
UPDATE I am a loss as to what to do with my (54M) wife (51F) Hall past request - 4th August 2023 Original was deleted, but was preserved in a comment UPDATE 2: My lawyer wasn’t available for a few days, so I was faced with the reality of having to live with my wife in the interim. I really didn’t want to go home and have any discussion, let alone a discussion about our relationship.
When I did get home I was basically ambushed by her friends and my mother in-law. Instead of taking the remorseful approach they decided that a full court press was what the situation warranted and I was basically berated by them. The BFF was definitely the ringleader, but all of them decided to say such things as; she’s been through a lot, you don’t know what she’s been through, you have no idea what it is like to face something like this, this was a one time thing, at least she told you she could have hidden it from you, she will never see the guy again, and my favorite, you are an asshole for what you have been putting her through these last couple of days.
I listened with a “dumbass smirk” on my face and when there was a lull in their fury, I asked if they were all done now. Then I asked my wife if there was anyone in her circle of friends or anyone else that she forgot to tell about this. I quietly informed all of them that I was going to sit down with their husbands and tell them about how they verbally abusing me, shaming me and trying to coerce me into staying with a cheater. After I told them to leave, I said that I had no say in entire event and so they have no say in whether I stay or not.
My STBXW sort of apologized. She said that she regretted the entire thing. I said there is a difference between regret and remorse. You regret what happened because of the cause-and-effect. You have regret because your life will never be the same, our relationship will never be the same because you where wholly and willfully unconcerned about me and what I wanted.
She asked if I had any questions that she would answer them now, no matter how disturbing. I said that the one question I do have is Why. Not necessarily why this guy, why this low-end unattractive, unfit guy, but why someone else in the first place? She said that the cancer scared her to her core. She felt like she was rushing toward mortality and stepping out of that tunnel was appealing. She said that after all this time of being a wife, and mother and worrying about family, this was something just for her. An escape. The guy was just someone who was interested in her for a long time, she knew wouldn’t say no and was completely opposite to me. I said if I was going to risk my marriage, the woman would have to be a serious upgrade from you. I told her that I saw you and him coming out of the bar that night. I watched you walk away from the bar hand-in-hand towards the hotel. I said that you looked too familiar with each other and asked if there was something going on before all this. She said no but who knows if that is the truth or not.
I said that after all our years together, your lack of respect for me was astonishing. I finished by saying that I would never be able to look at myself in the mirror again if I condoned that level of disrespect and stayed with you. I said I hope we can go our separate ways amicably and that I have an appointment with a lawyer later in the week. I again asked her to find some other accommodations and she simply said, I am not going anywhere. We are not getting a divorce. I will give you all the time you need and do whatever you need to recover from this. We will get past this. She has asked me to go to marriage counseling, which I refused. Why would I go to counseling, I did nothing to warrant needing a therapists advice.
I had her served and gave her a notice to vacate (the house is my premarital asset). She has moved in with her mom but I find her constantly coming by to see if I need anything or making suggestions like ‘what if we had an open relationship only on your side or threesomes’, which seems kind of desperate and pathetic. Rebuffing her constantly and telling her she has to call to ask permission before coming by and finally seems to getting through to her that there will be no us going forward.
She has said that she will drag the divorce out for as long as possible, but so far has been compliant. The worst part of all this is telling my daughter that we are getting a divorce and why, followed closely by her begging me to give her mom another chance. I am not sure I would have been afforded the same consideration if I was the one who was cheating.
TLDR: A lot of unkind things were said but she has been served and has moved out. Divorce is next with me hoping mediation is reasonable and I don’t get screwed in the end.
Comments On his daughter: I think it was just a gut reaction. In the weeks that have passed, and the more she understands what has happened, the more irritated she is becoming with her mom.
On his wife: I loved my wife. I, and others, found her to be stunning (she looks like Linda Carter). Now, knowing that she affaired down so low makes her a non-entity that I could never look at the same way again. No amount of counseling is going to change the way I see her.
Some Q&A: Something had to transpire prior to her hotel excursion. There's no way she decided in a matter of a few days to pick and cheat with AP. Getting sex is easier for women. Maybe they were involved in a EA before and this was a culmination. I don't really know nor do I care, unless it benefits me during the divorce.
From what I know all of her friends have cut her off. They are trying like hell to save their own marriages that they are turning on each other.
After vacating your house, is she feeling any remorse? Or is she still thinking you need to get over it as of today. Going NC with WW should be easy since daughter is an adult. What desperate measures has she taken that you haven't mentioned in your post and comments? She was stoic and held her position right up until she was served. Then she became visibly upset and resorted to begging, pleading and bargaining.
Really? No Tears? No emotional meltdown? I am sorry that happened to you. How can she not see what she has done to you? The whole way this went is so surreal, from start to finish. It is like she has a manic or hypomanic episode.You are doing the right thing by divorcing her. Sorry, but there is no love in her anymore. You, sir, have not lost your self-respect and have made the right choice. Take care of yourself. Plenty of tears, begging and bargaining after the fact, but that maybe just optics. Maybe she fell out of love and now is regretting her new station in life. She's an attractive woman, she will have plenty of men willing to date her, but I won't be one of them.
Wow! Amazing poker face she really thought she owned you. She was confident, overly so.
If you ever feel the need to go nuclear, you could reveal the affair to her coworkers. I but that would be a disaster. I want her employed so I don't have to pay maintenance even if it was while she was between jobs.
There is a woman at her work who has always looked at me in an inviting way so maybe I will try to date her after this is over. That would be interesting on a couple of levels.
**
Final Update Starts Here*\*
Original Deleted from
offmychest, retrieved with Reveddit
UPDATE 2 - I am a loss as to what to do with my (54M) wife (51F) Hall past request - 12th September 2023
There is not much to report. We are in the process of getting a divorce, however where we live, we must be legally separated for 1 year.
My STBXW has said that she will give me whatever I want in the divorce if I agree to attend marriage counseling, but I am not interested. There was a bit of back-and-forth while we worked out what separation looks like in everyday life from this point forward. As a result, we have only just agreed to the confines of the legal separation, so as we move towards defining the divorce language, maybe my stance may change.
The house was a premarital asset, so she has no claim to it. The only things she could go after are my pension, vehicles and vacation property but I would counter that she has lived rent free for 20+ years and has her own money plus inheritance from her father. I may have offer a top up in retirement as she was a stay-at-home mom while our daughter was young, but that would be the most at this point.
I received a lot of messages about her friend group and my daughter, so I will clear up and misconceptions now.
My daughter isn’t taking her mother side. She has always been a mommas girl but she is very unhappy with her mom right now. Her initial reaction was just shock and held out hope that we would work through any issues and stay together. Now she accepts that is not going to happen she has been limiting her interactions with her, but at the end of the day, she is still her mom.
The friend group husbands were upset at the level of complicity of their wives in aiding and abetting the contact/cheating and made them cut off my wife, but that seems to have been forgotten at this point. The BFF was the ringleader and seems to have taken perverse pleasure in actively creating scenarios where they would be in contact. At the very least encouraging to the point of causing her husband to question her motives. It turns out she didn’t like me at all and this was her way of ‘sticking it too me’. I guess she wins.
The BFF’s husband said that there were some sexting in his wife's messages but said he is dealing with it. We did meet up a with him being apologetic for his wife’s complicity, but it is not his fault and just want to move on.
I have decided not to date anyone for awhile. I will not be getting married ever again.
So that is it. I doubt I will post again unless she wins the lottery and I find it my heart to forgive her…
For
u/angelposts and his crew at
AmITheAngel, she couldn't be pregnant with twins because she had a hysterectomy, and that is not how women work
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20th Anniversary Edition
By: Mitch Albom
Narrated by: Mitch Albom
Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
Release date: 10-18-07
5 out of 5 stars7,257 ratings
Regular price: $13.96
Women Who Run with the Wolves Audiobook By Clarissa Pinkola Estés cover art
- Women Who Run with the Wolves
Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
By: Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Narrated by: Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
Release date: 05-22-09
4.5 out of 5 stars8,675 ratings
Regular price: $17.47
The Book of Enoch Audiobook By Robert Bagley III cover art
- The Book of Enoch
From the Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament
By: Robert Bagley III
Narrated by: Steve Cook
Length: 3 hrs and 57 mins
Release date: 06-13-16
4.5 out of 5 stars1,529 ratings
Regular price: $14.95
Think This, Not That Audiobook By Dr. Josh Axe cover art
- Think This, Not That
12 Mindshifts to Breakthrough Limiting Beliefs and Become Who You Were Born to Be
By: Dr. Josh Axe
Narrated by: Josh Axe, Jon Gordon, Donald Miller, Erwin McManus, Dave Ramsey, Rebekah Lyons, Shade Zahrai, Rob Dial, Greg McKeown, Hal Elrod, John Delony
Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
Release date: 04-02-24
The Return of the Gods Audiobook By Jonathan Cahn cover art
- The Return of the Gods
By: Jonathan Cahn
Narrated by: Lawrence Richardson
Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
Release date: 09-06-22
5 out of 5 stars2,630 ratings
Regular price: $22.61
Mere Christianity Audiobook By C. S. Lewis cover art
- Mere Christianity
Narrated by: Julian Rhind-Tutt
Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
Release date: 05-13-14
5 out of 5 stars12,976 ratings
You Are the Placebo Audiobook By Dr. Joe Dispenza cover art
- You Are the Placebo
Making Your Mind Matter
By: Dr. Joe Dispenza
Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
Release date: 04-15-20
5 out of 5 stars1,642 ratings
- The Awe of God
The Astounding Way a Healthy Fear of God Transforms Your Life
By: John Bevere
Narrated by: John Bevere
Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
Release date: 02-21-23
5 out of 5 stars347 ratings
Mother Angelica Audiobook By Raymond Arroyo cover art
- Mother Angelica
The Remarkable Story of a Nun, Her Nerve, and a Network of Miracles
By: Raymond Arroyo
Narrated by: Raymond Arroyo
Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
Release date: 03-28-23
Autobiography of a Yogi Audiobook By Paramahansa Yogananda cover art
- Autobiography of a Yogi
By: Paramahansa Yogananda
Narrated by: Ben Kingsley
Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins
Release date: 10-07-04
4.5 out of 5 stars5,998 ratings
Regular price: $25.00
Battlefield of the Mind Audiobook By Joyce Meyer cover art
- Battlefield of the Mind
By: Joyce Meyer
Narrated by: Joyce Meyer
Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
Release date: 03-22-22
5 out of 5 stars835 ratings
Regular price: $19.49
The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life Audiobook By Rick Warren, Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Mark Hyman cover art
- The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life
By: Rick Warren, Dr. Daniel Amen, Dr. Mark Hyman
Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
Release date: 12-01-20
4.5 out of 5 stars126 ratings
Mostly What God Does Audiobook By Savannah Guthrie cover art
- Mostly What God Does
Reflections on Seeking and Finding His Love Everywhere
By: Savannah Guthrie
Narrated by: Savannah Guthrie
Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
Release date: 02-20-24
5 out of 5 stars189 ratings
Bait of Satan Audiobook By John Bevere cover art
- Bait of Satan
Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense
Length: 5 hrs
Release date: 07-07-11
5 out of 5 stars3,718 ratings
The Awakened Brain Audiobook By Lisa Miller cover art
- The Awakened Brain
The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life
By: Lisa Miller
Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
Release date: 08-17-21
4.5 out of 5 stars346 ratings
Regular price: $18.00
Signs Audiobook By Laura Lynne Jackson cover art
- Signs
The Secret Language of the Universe
By: Laura Lynne Jackson
Narrated by: Laura Lynne Jackson
Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
Release date: 06-18-19
5 out of 5 stars4,542 ratings
The Power of Positive Thinking Audiobook By Norman Vincent Peale cover art
- The Power of Positive Thinking
A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of Everyday Living
By: Norman Vincent Peale
Narrated by: uncredited
Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
Release date: 10-31-08
4.5 out of 5 stars8,668 ratings
Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools Audiobook By Tyler Staton, Tim Mackie - foreword cover art
- Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools
An Invitation to the Wonder and Mystery of Prayer
By: Tyler Staton, Tim Mackie - foreword
Narrated by: Tyler Staton, Tim Mackie
Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
Release date: 10-04-22
5 out of 5 stars427 ratings
The Artist's Way: 25th Anniversary Edition Audiobook By Julia Cameron cover art
- The Artist's Way: 25th Anniversary Edition
By: Julia Cameron
Narrated by: Eliza Foss
Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
Release date: 03-23-21
Anxious for Nothing Audiobook By Max Lucado cover art
- Anxious for Nothing
Finding Calm in a Chaotic World
By: Max Lucado
Narrated by: Ben Holland
Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
Release date: 09-12-17
4.5 out of 5 stars7,424 ratings
The 21-Day Financial Fast Audiobook By Michelle Singletary cover art
- The 21-Day Financial Fast
Your Path to Financial Peace and Freedom
By: Michelle Singletary
Narrated by: Michelle Singletary
Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
Release date: 11-26-19
4.5 out of 5 stars88 ratings
Wild at Heart Audiobook By John Eldredge cover art
- Wild at Heart
Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
By: John Eldredge
Narrated by: John Eldredge
Release date: 12-28-03
4.5 out of 5 stars6,208 ratings
Regular price: $25.73
The Holographic Universe Audiobook By Michael Talbot cover art
- The Holographic Universe
The Revolutionary Theory of Reality
By: Michael Talbot
Narrated by: Nick Mondelli
Release date: 04-15-21
4.5 out of 5 stars371 ratings
Sale price: $6.99 (74% off)
Regular price: $27.29
Sale ends in 13d 15h 41m 9s
Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table Audiobook By Louie Giglio cover art
- Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table
It's Time to Win the Battle of Your Mind...
By: Louie Giglio
Narrated by: Louie Giglio
Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
Release date: 05-11-21
5 out of 5 stars1,246 ratings
The Unseen Realm Audiobook By Dr. Michael S. Heiser cover art
- The Unseen Realm
By: Dr. Michael S. Heiser
Narrated by: Gordon Greenhill
Length: 15 hrs and 43 mins
Release date: 12-18-15
5 out of 5 stars3,492 ratings
The Inner Work Audiobook By Mathew Micheletti, Ashley Cottrell cover art
- The Inner Work
An Invitation to True Freedom and Lasting Happiness
By: Mathew Micheletti, Ashley Cottrell
Narrated by: Mathew Micheletti, Ashley Cottrell
Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
Release date: 11-21-22
4.5 out of 5 stars145 ratings
Regular price: $19.95
Habits of the Household Audiobook By Justin Whitmel Earley cover art
- Habits of the Household
Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms
By: Justin Whitmel Earley
Narrated by: Justin Earley, Troy Simons, Ruth Simons
Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
Release date: 11-09-21
5 out of 5 stars768 ratings
Living Untethered Audiobook By Michael A. Singer cover art
- Living Untethered
Beyond the Human Predicament
By: Michael A. Singer
Narrated by: Michael A. Singer
Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
Release date: 05-10-22
5 out of 5 stars2,948 ratings
Regular price: $13.75
The Exvangelicals Audiobook By Sarah McCammon cover art
- The Exvangelicals
Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church
By: Sarah McCammon
Narrated by: Sarah McCammon
Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
Release date: 03-19-24
5 out of 5 stars78 ratings
Regular price: $14.99
Son of Hamas Audiobook By Mosab Hassan Yousef, Ron Brackin - contributor cover art
- Son of Hamas
A Gripping Account of Terror, Betrayal, Political Intrigue, and Unthinkable Choices
By: Mosab Hassan Yousef, Ron Brackin - contributor
Narrated by: Mosab Hassan Yousef
Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
Release date: 12-23-11
5 out of 5 stars1,737 ratings
Regular price: $23.39
The Greatest Salesman in the World Audiobook By Og Mandino cover art
- The Greatest Salesman in the World
By: Og Mandino
Narrated by: Mark Bramhall
Series: The Greatest Salesman in the World, Book 1
Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
Release date: 11-01-16
5 out of 5 stars5,841 ratings
Regular price: $6.75
The Meaning of Marriage Audiobook By Timothy Keller cover art
- The Meaning of Marriage
Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
By: Timothy Keller
Narrated by: Lloyd James, Marguerite Gavin
Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
Release date: 11-01-11
5 out of 5 stars4,668 ratings
Rescue Story Audiobook By Zach Williams, Robert Noland - contributor cover art
- Rescue Story
Faith, Freedom, and Finding My Way Home
By: Zach Williams, Robert Noland - contributor
Narrated by: Zach Williams, Crystal Williams
Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
Release date: 02-27-24
5 out of 5 stars100 ratings
The Art of Living Audiobook By Thích Nhất Hạnh cover art
- The Art of Living
Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now
By: Thích Nhất Hạnh
Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini, Gabra Zackman
Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
Release date: 06-06-17
5 out of 5 stars6,273 ratings
The Books of Enoch: The Angels, The Watchers and The Nephilim Audiobook By Joseph Lumpkin cover art
- The Books of Enoch: The Angels, The Watchers and The Nephilim
With Extensive Commentary
By: Joseph Lumpkin
Narrated by: Dennis Logan
Length: 17 hrs and 31 mins
Release date: 09-14-17
4 out of 5 stars556 ratings
The Celestine Prophecy Audiobook By James Redfield cover art
- The Celestine Prophecy
A Concise Guide to the Nine Insights Featuring Original Essays & Lectures by the Author
By: James Redfield
Narrated by: Lou Diamond Phillips, James Redfield
Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
Release date: 10-30-18
4.5 out of 5 stars614 ratings
Mother and Son Audiobook By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs cover art
- Mother and Son
The Respect Effect
Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
Release date: 04-05-16
4.5 out of 5 stars704 ratings
Sale price: $4.99 (77% off)
The Great Disappearance Audiobook By Dr. David Jeremiah cover art
- The Great Disappearance
31 Ways to Be Rapture Ready
By: Dr. David Jeremiah
Narrated by: David Jeremiah, Larry Wayne
Release date: 12-12-23
5 out of 5 stars215 ratings
When Things Fall Apart Audiobook By Pema Chodron cover art
- When Things Fall Apart
Heart Advice for Difficult Times
By: Pema Chodron
Narrated by: Christy Meyer
Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
Release date: 01-03-23
4.5 out of 5 stars144 ratings
Regular price: $16.09
You're Going to Make It Audiobook By Lysa TerKeurst cover art
- You're Going to Make It
50 Morning and Evening Devotions to Unrush Your Mind, Uncomplicate Your Heart, and Experience Healing Today
Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
5 out of 5 stars26 ratings
Sale price: $4.99 (74% off)
The Complete 70 Book Apocrypha Including Writings of the Apostolic Fathers: the Deuterocanon, Enoch 1-3, Pseudepigrapha, Jubi
- The Complete 70 Book Apocrypha Including Writings of the Apostolic Fathers: the Deuterocanon, Enoch 1-3, Pseudepigrapha, Jubilees, Giants, and The Gospel of Thomas
Narrated by: Mel Jackson
Length: 70 hrs and 21 mins
Release date: 12-11-23
4.5 out of 5 stars5 ratings
Regular price: $29.95
Behold a Pale Horse Audiobook By Milton William Cooper cover art
- Behold a Pale Horse
By: Milton William Cooper
Narrated by: Milton William Cooper
Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
Release date: 07-26-18
4.5 out of 5 stars3,664 ratings
Regular price: $11.49
The Mastery of Self Audiobook By Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. cover art
- The Mastery of Self
A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
Narrated by: Charlie Varon
Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
Release date: 07-06-16
5 out of 5 stars4,316 ratings
The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need to Read Audiobook By Andrew Kap cover art
- The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need to Read
The Missing Key to Finally Tapping into the Universe and Manifesting Your Desires
By: Andrew Kap
Narrated by: Andrew Kap
Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
Release date: 04-01-20
4.5 out of 5 stars2,354 ratings
The Game of Life and How to Play It Audiobook By Florence Scovel Shinn, Joel Fotinos cover art
- The Game of Life and How to Play It
The Complete Original Edition
By: Florence Scovel Shinn, Joel Fotinos
Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya
Series: Simple Success Guides
Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
Release date: 02-04-20
5 out of 5 stars963 ratings
Regular price: $8.24
Failing Forward Audiobook By John C. Maxwell cover art
- Failing Forward
Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success
Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold, John C. Maxwell
Release date: 02-11-20
5 out of 5 stars717 ratings
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life Audiobook By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer cover art
- Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Living the Wisdom of the Tao
By: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Narrated by: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
Release date: 12-31-06
4.5 out of 5 stars4,876 ratings
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way Audiobook By Lysa TerKeurst cover art
- It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
Narrated by: Lysa TerKeurst, Jolene Barto
Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
Release date: 11-13-18
4.5 out of 5 stars4,798 ratings
Becoming Free Indeed Audiobook By Jinger Duggar Vuolo, Corey Williams cover art
- Becoming Free Indeed
My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear
By: Jinger Duggar Vuolo, Corey Williams
Narrated by: Jinger Duggar Vuolo
Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
Release date: 01-31-23
4.5 out of 5 stars2,490 ratings
The Bhagavad Gita Audiobook By Eknath Easwaran cover art
- The Bhagavad Gita
By: Eknath Easwaran
Narrated by: Paul Bazely
Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
Release date: 12-28-14
5 out of 5 stars4,508 ratings
Regular price: $10.44
The False White Gospel Audiobook By Jim Wallis, Eddie Glaude cover art
- The False White Gospel
Rejecting Christian Nationalism, Reclaiming True Faith, and Refounding Democracy
By: Jim Wallis, Eddie Glaude
Narrated by: Jim Wallis, Leon Nixon - foreword
Length: 11 hrs and 32 mins
5 out of 5 stars9 ratings
Regular price: $20.24
Between Death and Life Audiobook By Dolores Cannon cover art
- Between Death and Life
Conversations with a Spirit
By: Dolores Cannon
Narrated by: Doug Warrings, Ted Snow, Carol Morrison
Length: 11 hrs and 19 mins
Release date: 01-28-16
5 out of 5 stars2,738 ratings
Tired of Being Tired Audiobook By Jess Connolly cover art
- Tired of Being Tired
Receive God's Realistic Rest for Your Soul-Deep Exhaustion
By: Jess Connolly
Narrated by: Jess Connolly
Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
Regular price: $17.49
Living in the Daze of Deception Audiobook By Jack Hibbs cover art
- Living in the Daze of Deception
How to Discern Truth from Culture's Lies
By: Jack Hibbs
Narrated by: Adam Verner
Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars98 ratings
Regular price: $17.19
Inspired By … The Bible Experience Audio Bible—Today's New International Version, TNIV: Complete Bible Audiobook
- Inspired By … The Bible Experience Audio Bible—Today's New International Version, TNIV: Complete Bible
A Dramatic Audio Bible Performed by 400 of Today's Biggest Stars
By: Zondervan
Narrated by: full cast
Length: 85 hrs and 55 mins
Release date: 03-16-18
4.5 out of 5 stars1,083 ratings
Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth Audiobook By Dolores Cannon cover art
- Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth
Narrated by: Moe Egan, Zachary Johnson
Length: 15 hrs and 47 mins
Release date: 07-02-21
5 out of 5 stars1,553 ratings
The Seat of the Soul Audiobook By Gary Zukav cover art
- The Seat of the Soul
25th Anniversary Edition
By: Gary Zukav
Narrated by: Gary Zukav, Maya Angelou (preface), Oprah Winfrey (preface)
Release date: 03-11-14
4.5 out of 5 stars3,315 ratings