I (23F) have been dating 25M for 9 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex and his ex-FWB, and even random girls.
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. I used to frequently view his ex and ex-FWBs’ social media, basically just to compare myself to them, now I do it less and less to try to intentionally stop doing it, like the scale down method as you do with obsessions. Regardless, the stuff that I found still comes to bother my sometimes randomly in my head.
For example he has liked his ex-FWB posts on IG, not even recently, but whilst we were dating. All lightly dressed - bikinis, very small crop tops, etc - posted last summer (when we had been dating for 2-4 months) he had liked. Even back in October last year he liked a picture of her that was very provocative, her with an angle from above, tongue out, angle tilting down into her tanktop with her nipple piercings fully visible through her shirt. We had dated for 5 months at that point. The fact that he was liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable, although he hasn’t liked any of the most recent pictures she has posted - I question if it’s because of the weather being colder and her putting on more, and I worry over just the hypothetical of him starting to like them again in the summer when she whips out the bikinis and minimal clothing.
I also looked at his ex's IG profile, who is on a completely other level, no provocative pictures, but very beautiful and very clever, she is getting a double PHD and winning multiple awards, and starting her own business and doing tons of charity work. It’s just this perfect person and then he moved on to….me….
Recently I’ve also come to the realization that in the group chat with his friends my boyfriend added me to, you can look back at messages from before you were a part of it. Not sure my boyfriend knows about this detail, since he's always been in it. Regardless, I've scrolled far back to see a lot of messages about his ex-FWB and his ex girlfriend there as well, that just contribute to my anxiety. It’s important to note that this was from before him and I were dating. So, it shouldn’t matter, but it’s destroying what’s left of my confidence seeing what he’s said. I know I am the problem.
I saw some messages about his ex-FWB, from my boyfriend bragging to the all-boys group chat about how his ex-FWB sent him nudes, sharing them with them (she had given him consent to do so) when she first started expressing interest before they got involved, saying how hot she was and that it was rare to find a girl as kinky as her. I know they did multiple things together in the bedroom, and it bothers me enormously knowing exactly what they did and even seeing some pictures of it that he took while they were having sex, and sharing them in the gc (again, with permission, he's not an asshole). We are into some BDSM stuff, and I know from comparison that he used the same equipment on me that he did to her, which just makes me feel dirty and terrible.
Every time we do something intimate of that nature I can't help but wonder if he's thinking about her, or if she is thinking that she was better in bed, was more attractive, was more confident and more seductive, etc... Given she has an extremely large sexual history and my boyfriend only just took my virginity, I just can't help but assume those things are true. I am way more timid in bed because of my insecurities, and it feels like he wishes I was more like her, he tries to guide me into being more of a dirty-talker but these thoughts stop me.
I also saw this message: “I asked *ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck again but she’s ignoring me lol” coming from after 4 days of us meeting, 8 days after he sent a “Met a really cute girl today, I think she likes me” etc. message about me, and 8 days before we became girlfriend/boyfriend. This hurts me because well, we knew each other at that point, I would even say we had had our first date at that point, and he had previously, before I saw these messages, told me that having sex with her that one time just made him sure that sex as just a means to get off wasn’t for him, that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him in the first place, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again?
These past messages include him also gushing about his ex, at the time they were dating but also a while afterwards. Saying how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is, intelligent, and that she can converse with pretty much anyone and find a topic. He is much the same. That made me extremely insecure, because I am the complete opposite of that. I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous.
Even talking to his family I struggle with because I am so shy, I am constantly wondering in my head if he wishes I was more like her, his family does, or just that I was her in general. This was also brought on from early suspicions I've had about him not being over her, because some things he's said, that's then made my anxiety spiral even worse (while we were dating in the beginning he'd go on rants about what went wrong in their relationship, how he could've fixed it, he at one point told me that she was the "right person, wrong time" which he has since reassured me about not meaning, but still, etc).
I looked at all those previous group chat messages out of curiosity at first not wanting or even thinking about finding anything about his exes to make me insecure, now it's become a weird obsession where I have saved screenshots of the stuff that he's said about these women in a folder on my phone, and I visit that folder a bit more frequent than I'd like to admit. I don't know why I do it, it's like I want to hurt my feelings and make me feel insecure. There's also positive stuff in there that I've seen and saved to my folder as well, about me, how beautiful I am and supportive of him, but it just gets a bit overshadowed.
I also get jealous of girls we see when out and about. He’s told me he’s very attracted to girls with pale skin, blue eyes and dark hair - which I have, but every time him and I are out and we spot another girl with those features - worst of all if I think of her to be more attractive than me - I get so down, I can shut down and go all mopey and even though I try to pretend I am okay he notices, gets nervous and asks what happened, he thinks I got some negatives news on my phone or something. It just absolutely sucks. I have all these thoughts in my head about how he probably wishes I looked more like her, he would’ve gone up and flirted with her if I wasn’t here, etc. He’s also said he thinks girls in chokers is very hot, in a sexual way, and I wonder every time we see one wearing one if he is having sexual thoughts about her.
Once he scrolled past a random girl on his IG explore page with me next to him and said “damn, she’s cute” and went to her profile, scrolled it for 5 seconds, clicked on some images, then exited. Then it’s like he remembered I was there and he said “Not as cute as you, of course” but it didn’t feel genuine. That made me feel like shit. It’s not like he does that a lot, he’s done that once this one time, but it still sticks with me.
I genuinely don’t find other guys attractive anymore, it doesn’t even register to me anymore if a man I’m looking at or talking to is attractive or not, it’s like I’ve turned that side of my thoughts off. Which is why it hurts me even more he hasn’t seemed to do that.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but with my country's’ psychiatric care being what it is, I can’t expect it to happen anytime soon. My friend waited for 2 years, and that is around the predicted time for anyone who isn’t willing to go the private route - which I don’t have money to do. So I’m doing my best with what I can do. I really don’t want to destroy this relationship, truly, he could be the love of my life. I’ve never *seeked* a relationship for this reason, I knew I needed to work more on my confidence and self-worth in fear of me. But I met him very randomly and unexpected, and just fell straight in love with him, immediately clicked and everything, in a way I can’t recall ever having done before.
I haven't fully made him aware of the extent of my insecurities, but sometimes I'll bring stuff up, like "hey, do you think we're too different being introverted and extroverted respectively?" and he will go on to reassure me a ton. Every time I give into my thoughts and ask him questions or express concerns he always is so loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. This is all in my head, but unfortunately being aware of that doesn't make it easier to get it out.
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, before we were dating and I obsessively dwell on them. His past interactions about his ex-FWB, calling her hot to his friends, seeing nudes that he has sent him and pictures he took of her while they were having sex. (All this from a groupchat, I haven't gone through his phone, more info above) Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he still harbors feelings for her and wishes I were more like her. I also feel jealous of other girls and constantly fear he finds them more attractive. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer while we had been dating for 2-4 months and one in October that was very provocative. I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship.

TL;DR: DBX used to have their own version of the 500 series. If you're willing to put in some work, you can get some pretty badass old school analog vibes happening. Read on for the rest.
Okay, so the 1970's had a three-way format war going between API's 500 Series, DBX's 900 Series, and Valley People's TR Series. All based on the same principle.
There are two reasons I wanted to build up a DBX900 rack specifically. One is for their 903 compressor module. More specifically, the harder-to-find original "silver side" ones. See that bronze loaf in the lower center? That's a DBX202C VCA. DBX later switched to using integrated circuits starting with the THAT2150 'chip'. That chip looks better on paper than the 202 - but my ears have always have had a soft spot for the DBX165 and the SSL E-Series bus compressor, both of which have the 202 as the gain control element.
The other reason? The Aphex Dominator. Aphex jumped in on the 900 series with their own 'overbuilt' version, the 9000. They had the Compellor, Expressor, the Dominator, etc. - all compact "cut down" versions of their full 1RU-sized big brothers. The Dominator was popular with AM/FM radio stations in the 1980's - it's a multiband compressor that can be quite transparent when used properly, or downright rude if you push it harder. It's like OTT, analog edition.
Okay, so I found a decent condition rack for $99 including shipping. Not exactly showroom condition, there was a ton of adhesive residue on the back. But whatever - this thing is almost as old as I am (and I am OLD). Grand total on four of the 903 compressor cards? $525 incl. shipping. The Dominators I was able to get at $137.50/ea. - all in solid working condition but in need of a recap and calibration.
Here's the less fun part - hooking it up. In the 1970's, it wasn't a given to see an XLR or TRS connection on the back of a piece of studio equipment. You'd often find these long barrier strip terminals that you had to attach via "spade" or "shovel" connectors. Literally just crimped in place on the end of bare wire. So I needed to create two DB25 to spade connector snakes to plug this directly into my interface (eight modules, eight channels, makes sense, right?)
Luckily, I live up the street from Dale Pro Audio in Jamaica, Queens. This place is nerd heaven. My sales guy punches in a few keys and says, "oh, we have a b-stock return on a Hosa db25 to db25 snake. You can have it for ten bucks.". That plus the connectors and I was out of there for under $30.
But trimming 48 individual wires (26AWG is like eight strands of copper, you have to be really careful removing the shielding), 48 times gingerly placing the wire on the connector and busting out the ol' ratchet crimp tool - it gets repetitive. And seriously, Hosa? Why do you have your own secret color code? There are no numbers on the 8 individual strands in those snakes.
Anyways, I finally get the first four modules loaded in and the 900 rack into my interface. And the tedium of getting all of those flathead screw terminals wrenched down. A little clickety, a little clackety, and they were in my plug-ins folder.
Here's a quick and dirty demo. The music's literally just two loops I slapped up on the screen And as I said before, these need a serious going over, new caps, and some serious calibration. But they are great 'compression as an effect' compressors.
Why am I sharing? Because I get DM's from peeps on this sub a lot about wanting recommendations for a piece or two of 'real' analog hardware. By and large (but with exception), cheap and good can be something of a 'get'. But the 900 Series racks are a really good example of how to add some legit vintage gear to your setup without breaking your piggy bank.
Thanks for tuning in.

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 9 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex and his ex-FWB, and even random girls.
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. I used to frequently view his ex and ex-FWBs’ social media, basically just to compare myself to them, now I do it less and less to try to intentionally stop doing it, like the scale down method as you do with obsessions. Regardless, the stuff that I found still comes to bother my sometimes randomly in my head.
For example he has liked his ex-FWB posts on IG, not even recently, but whilst we were dating. All lightly dressed - bikinis, very small crop tops, etc - posted last summer (when we had been dating for 2-4 months) he had liked. Even back in October last year he liked a picture of her that was very provocative, her with an angle from above, tongue out, angle tilting down into her tanktop with her nipple piercings fully visible through her shirt. We had dated for 5 months at that point. The fact that he was liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable, although he hasn’t liked any of the most recent pictures she has posted - I question if it’s because of the weather being colder and her putting on more, and I worry over just the hypothetical of him starting to like them again in the summer when she whips out the bikinis and minimal clothing.
I also looked at his ex's IG profile, who is on a completely other level, no provocative pictures, but very beautiful and very clever, she is getting a double PHD and winning multiple awards, and starting her own business and doing tons of charity work. It’s just this perfect person and then he moved on to….me….
Recently I’ve also come to the realization that in the group chat with his friends my boyfriend added me to, you can look back at messages from before you were a part of it. Not sure my boyfriend knows about this detail, since he's always been in it. Regardless, I've scrolled far back to see a lot of messages about his ex-FWB and his ex girlfriend there as well, that just contribute to my anxiety. It’s important to note that this was from before him and I were dating. So, it shouldn’t matter, but it’s destroying what’s left of my confidence seeing what he’s said. I know I am the problem.
I saw some messages about his ex-FWB, from my boyfriend bragging to the all-boys group chat about how his ex-FWB sent him nudes, sharing them with them (she had given him consent to do so) when she first started expressing interest before they got involved, saying how hot she was and that it was rare to find a girl as kinky as her. I know they did multiple things together in the bedroom, and it bothers me enormously knowing exactly what they did and even seeing some pictures of it that he took while they were having sex, and sharing them in the gc (again, with permission, he's not an asshole). We are into some BDSM stuff, and I know from comparison that he used the same equipment on me that he did to her, which just makes me feel dirty and terrible.
Every time we do something intimate of that nature I can't help but wonder if he's thinking about her, or if he is thinking that she was better in bed, was more attractive, was more confident and more seductive, etc... Given she has an extremely large sexual history and my boyfriend only just took my virginity, I just can't help but assume those things are true. I am way more timid in bed because of my insecurities, and it feels like he wishes I was more like her, he tries to guide me into being more of a dirty-talker but these thoughts stop me.
I also saw this message: “I asked *ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck again but she’s ignoring me lol” coming from after 8 days of us meeting, after he sent a “Met a really cute girl today, I think she likes me” etc. message about me, and 8 days before we became girlfriend/boyfriend. This hurts me because well, we knew each other at that point, I would even say we had had our first date at that point, and he had previously, before I saw these messages, told me that having sex with her that one time just made him sure that sex as just a means to get off wasn’t for him, that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him in the first place, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again?
These past messages include him also gushing about his ex, at the time they were dating but also a while afterwards. Saying how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is, intelligent, and that she can converse with pretty much anyone and find a topic. He is much the same. That made me extremely insecure, because I am the complete opposite of that. I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous.
Even talking to his family I struggle with because I am so shy, I am constantly wondering in my head if he wishes I was more like her, his family does, or just that I was her in general. This was also brought on from early suspicions I've had about him not being over her, because some things he's said, that's then made my anxiety spiral even worse (while we were dating in the beginning he'd go on rants about what went wrong in their relationship, how he could've fixed it, he at one point told me that she was the "right person, wrong time" which he has since reassured me about not meaning, but still, etc).
I looked at all those previous group chat messages out of curiosity at first not wanting or even thinking about finding anything about his exes to make me insecure, now it's become a weird obsession where I have saved screenshots of the stuff that he's said about these women in a folder on my phone, and I visit that folder a bit more frequent than I'd like to admit. I don't know why I do it, it's like I want to hurt my feelings and make me feel insecure. There's also positive stuff in there that I've seen and saved to my folder as well, about me, how beautiful I am and supportive of him, but it just gets a bit overshadowed.
I also get jealous of girls we see when out and about. He’s told me he’s very attracted to girls with pale skin, blue eyes and dark hair - which I have, but every time him and I are out and we spot another girl with those features - worst of all if I think of her to be more attractive than me - I get so down, I can shut down and go all mopey and even though I try to pretend I am okay he notices, gets nervous and asks what happened, he thinks I got some negatives news on my phone or something. It just absolutely sucks. I have all these thoughts in my head about how he probably wishes I looked more like her, he would’ve gone up and flirted with her if I wasn’t here, etc. He’s also said he thinks girls in chokers is very hot, in a sexual way, and I wonder every time we see one wearing one if he is having sexual thoughts about her.
Once he scrolled past a random girl on his IG explore page with me next to him and said “damn, she’s cute” and went to her profile, scrolled it for 5 seconds, clicked on some images, then exited. Then it’s like he remembered I was there and he said “Not as cute as you, of course” but it didn’t feel genuine. That made me feel like shit. It’s not like he does that a lot, he’s done that once this one time, but it still sticks with me.
I genuinely don’t find other guys attractive anymore, it doesn’t even register to me anymore if a man I’m looking at or talking to is attractive or not, it’s like I’ve turned that side of my thoughts off. Which is why it hurts me even more he hasn’t seemed to do that.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but with my country's’ psychiatric care being what it is, I can’t expect it to happen anytime soon. My friend waited for 2 years, and that is around the predicted time for anyone who isn’t willing to go the private route - which I don’t have money to do. So I’m doing my best with what I can do. I really don’t want to destroy this relationship, truly, he could be the love of my life. I’ve never *seeked* a relationship for this reason, I knew I needed to work more on my confidence and self-worth in fear of me. But I met him very randomly and unexpected, and just fell straight in love with him, immediately clicked and everything, in a way I can’t recall ever having done before.
I haven't fully made him aware of the extent of my insecurities, but sometimes I'll bring stuff up, like "hey, do you think we're too different being introverted and extroverted respectively?" and he will go on to reassure me a ton. Every time I give into my thoughts and ask him questions or express concerns he always is so loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. This is all in my head, but unfortunately being aware of that doesn't make it easier to get it out.
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, before we were dating and I obsessively dwell on them. His past interactions about his ex-FWB, calling her hot to his friends, seeing nudes that he has sent him and pictures he took of her while they were having sex. (All this from a groupchat, I haven't gone through his phone, more info above) Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he still harbors feelings for her and wishes I were more like her. I also feel jealous of other girls and constantly fear he finds them more attractive. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer while we had been dating for 2-4 months and one in October that was very provocative. I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship.

Some people here are saying that the overnight market screenshots people are showing aren’t real prices or are internal to Robinhood but this isn’t true. They are just streaming data from the real overnight market or premarket. These trades definitely matter. The German market just opened at the price the overnight market was at - well above US closing.
Overnight trading is run by ECNs, computers, not by the exchanges or market makers, according to investopedia and others. This is important. There are few players involved and prices are digitally discovered. There are no halts.
A small handful of brokers let you trade in overnight hours. IBKR, Schwab and E*trade and the one that shall not be named. There are ways if you want to get your hands dirty.
Please verify everything yourself. Google ECNs. Not financial advice.
Can’t stop! Let’s go!!!!

Some people here are saying that the overnight market screenshots people are showing aren’t real prices or are internal to Robinhood but this isn’t true. They are just streaming data from the real overnight market or premarket. These trades definitely matter. The German market just opened at the price the overnight market was at - well above US closing.
Overnight trading is run by ECNs, computers, not by the exchanges or market makers, according to investopedia and others. This is important. There are few players involved and prices are digitally discovered. There are no halts.
A small handful of brokers let you trade in overnight or premarket hours. IBKR, Schwab and E*trade and the one that shall not be named. There are ways if you want to get your hands dirty.
Please verify everything yourself. Google ECNs. Not financial advice.
Can’t stop! Let’s go!!!!

When I (23F) first started working at my job, I met my former friend (21F)(let's call her K). K and I knew each other because her training partner was in my orientation class. When we first met, she briefly complained that her ex bf (23M)(let's call him D) had followed her to our work and he got a job at our work as well.
K and I worked in the same department, different areas. When K and I got close, I told her that I got promoted and was working in another area. K told me that D was also working in the same area and to not talk about her at work. I didn't pry into what had happened between the two of them because how people mourn their broken relationships is different. I just moved along my business and just do my job per usual. I didn't officially meet him until a couple weeks later, and the first couple of instances, I treated him as I would treat any coworker and just did my job, never asked to hang out outside of work, just treated my coworkers with respect until I have a reason not to.
Then, out of nowhere, every room I had walked into and he saw me, D gave me a look of disgust with me, a snobby look, as if I was below him. D had gone so far as to exclude me from group conversations with coworkers and I didn't really know why because I never brought up K with him or with anyone. It wasn't until I told her what had happened and she was like "Yeah I told him that we knew each other because we're still talking as friends." In my mind I was like "?????" I thought it was uncalled for and unnecessary. I informed K that D intentionally excludes me out of conversations with coworkers that I was also friendly with and K told me, "If he likes you, he likes you, if he doesn't, he doesn't", but insinuating that I did something wrong, so I just decided to keep my distance from K for awhile.
I didn't like D at all at this point, not because of his association with K, but because he was the worst person to work with! He was always bitching and complaining about moving carts and complaining in front of customers about how he's tired and how he hates working, etc etc. There was a time where he was the only guy not doing anything and standing around and I politely asked him to move a cart and he threw a fit in front of customers and demanded another girl nearby to do it for him. He wasn't on any work restrictions, nothing, just didn't want to do his job. I understand not liking your job, but it's never an excuse to under perform at your job. And because of him, many others decided to throw a fit about working to the point where, I had to attend meetings about it. The times I treated him nicely, he gave me a dirty look. All the times to where I just ignored him and did my job, he also gave me a dirty look. It got so bad that management decided to announce that anyone refusing to do their job would be reprimanded, rightfully so. I was so mad about it to the point where I requested that I be demoted back to my original workplace (which I love so much) and to just call me in when necessary.
Some time passes by and K and I become really close, I don't pry into her life because tbh, I didn't have a lot of trust for her when it comes to talking about work, so I just kept it at what was going on at where I first got hired at work. K told me around August that her and D were no longer on speaking terms and that she had gone no contact because she claimed that he was abusive and narcissistic. We became very close to where we were constantly talking to each other everyday.
K was living good after cutting out D in her life. She started becoming more social and more lively, she went on vacation, she was just glowing in a way that you knew she was happy. On the other hand, based on my conversations with her, I could tell that she was struggling to come to terms with being abused by this guy. Ex: her supervisor came into my office and we were talking about how amazing K was and I told her that story, K became scared that I even had a conversation with her supervisor, but until I told her that we were talking about how amazing she was, K started to cry tears of joy.
And then things took a turn for the worse. A couple of weeks ago, K told me that she just wants to just isolate herself and that she felt lost in life. I told her that I'd be praying for her. And then, I had asked her if she wanted to come to the movies with me and a couple of my friends. K asked me who was going and I told her my friend (lets call her S) S (20F) was going to go. S and I have worked with D and S told me that she's also had issues with D, but didn't go into detail as to what happened. K immediately informed me that she and D had recently started talking again and that if she heard me or S talk about D in a negative manner, then she would tell him. I told her that my issues with D are nothing personal, my issue was that he wasn't a good employee and basically called him an inconsiderate asshat. I told her that he had the right to not like his workplace, but it gave him no right to under perform his job. K told me that she'd pass this message along and I firmly told her no because she didn't know what the new updates were and new disciplinary actions were because she didn't receive proper training at my work area and therefore not eligible.
I reminded her that it wasn't a good idea to be speaking to D again, considering that she was happy post life after D and based on what she has told me, that it was abusive. I told K that she needed to reconsider her stance on where she stood with D.
A week passes and S and our friend E (21M) decided to take an impromptu visit to our workplace to have some fun. I texted K if she was working and K told me she was. I told K that we'd be visiting mine and S's area first before visiting K and she seemed excited. While we were in line talking, S had spotted from the corner of her eye that D was working and so S and I hid behind our friend E and had E briefly talk to D in order to get serviced (basically just telling D that we were a party of 3). Once the coast was clear, S confides in me and E about her history with D. Her history with D started when D asked her to hang out a total of two times throughout the course of their friendship, but said that D had a crush on her, writing her paragraphs, but she wasn't into D because he wasn't her type, and when she told him honestly and politely, the friendship had soured, and D had resorted to degrading her.
We came to K's work area and I had introduced S and E to K. The next morning, K texted me saying how it was so nice to see my face because it was a long night and that it was so nice to meet S and E. I told K that E's birthday was coming up and so was mine and that we were talking about taking a trip to Universal Studios Hollywood. K told me that she was a huge Universal Studios enthusiast and to give her a date to go and she'll request the day off.
I made a group chat with all of us in it, to plan out our trip to Universal. S and E hit it off with K. And then a couple of days ago, when I came home from work, I noticed that K had unadded me as a friend on Snapchat. I texted her, asking if she was okay. I got a response the next morning of K texting me, "Please don't talk to me. You've really caused issues and you'll find out later." I was upset and taken aback. This is not the K that I knew. One of the rare times K and I had a disagreement, we would always talk it out like adults and then apologize to each other. K didn't explain to me as to what I did wrong. I couldn't think of what could I have done wrong. The only recent disagreement that I had with her was her speaking to D again.
After work that day, S texted me to ask if I was okay. I told her no because K abruptly ended our friendship with no explanation whatsoever. S called me because she too wanted to know the reason why. S and I came to the conclusion that because K and D were still talking to each other and that because S and D had a history, he found out that K was going to Universal with us, and in order to keep her under his control, he fed her lies about S and I, enough for her to stop talking to me. S told me that she was upset that his actions with her resulted in the demise of our friendship and I told S that it wasn't her fault that, D was scared of being exposed, so he played the victim card.
S told me she'd pull up the receipts of their conversations. The receipts she pulled up was abhorrent. It was misogynistic, sexist, manipulative, and arrogant in the worst way possible and he used religion against S as well as used many of his victim cards (race card, religion card, etc). S was also explaining to E and I many different instances of what had happened and that she felt bad for K because if he spoke this way to a friend, imagine how he spoke to K. I immediately felt so much empathy for both S and K because they had been both dragged through the mud, with D villainizing S for having a preference for another type of guy, and D villainizing K to others. So the next day, at work, with S's permission, I told majority of my colleagues that D was an inconsiderate asshat, misogynistic, and an abusive person towards people, and outright a narcissistic person while showing everyone the screenshots of his conversations with S. AITAH for exposing D to colleagues for his behavior? (sorry for the long read)

I’ve shared my story on how I started, ran for 10 years, and remotely sold my 3dp business HERE.
Now I would like to speculate on How I would start it if I had to do it again. Why? 2 reasons:

1. When it was time to sell, I discovered, that the most valuable assets of my business were NOT the printers or production base and that I could've significantly grown and therefore increased business value if I did certain things a certain way.

Knowing that and other things - I would've tried to do "the right things" from the beginning, and I hope it would help those who are thinking about or starting it right now.
I concentrate on the business side since the 3dp business is first of all a business, and I go through with it as I would’ve done it (not just some average avatar model).
This article doesn’t cover everything and simplifies some parts, but I tried to make it as real and in-depth as possible since the devil is in the details.

1. I am starting new business projects right now, and the path I am taking is almost the same (minus printers basically) path;

Vision

First I need to ask myself: what kind of 3dp business would I like to start? It may be hard to answer right at the start, but I do know 4 things:

1. I want it to be service-based (at least in the beginning, then I may consider a hybrid: service+product model);
2. I want it to be B2B (higher check, less transactional costs);
3. I want to gravitate towards big/complicated models;
4. I will offer some post-processing (get hand dirty, mot many others willing to do that);

Here I may also need to identify, who my target audience is. But It is hard, and may sometimes be harmful in the beginning, so I will stick with 4 general assumptions listed above, and see where keywords lead me.
But I will revisit this very important question (let's call it a “vision”) as soon as I have a meaningful chunk of data and experience.

Research

Then I will conduct research.
For that, I need to pick a place (3dp business is place-bound to a certain degree). Let's say a city - Austin - TX.
Note here - the bigger city, the better.
Now I need 3 lists:

1. First is a List of keywords with average monthly searches and cost of clicks for different areas:
   
   1. Austin;
   2. Other big cities nearby;
   3. State of Texas;
   4. Nearby states;
   5. The whole of the US.

One tab for each. You can pick as many areas as you see fit, and the logic behind it is that you want to know the demand in places you may be able to serve.
I need general high-frequency keywords as well as Google suggestions and low-frequency keywords. The broader the scope, the better. There is a free tool called Keyword Planner (it also provides a click cost estimation for Google ads) inside a Google Ads account. If you don’t use Google ads, you can pick any keyword search tool out there.
Now I need to sort it, vet out unneeded ones, and separate them into groups based on intent (informational or commercial). I will also create a list of “minus” words (will use them later).
When it is all done, I need to assemble a “core”: a few groups of keywords united by intention.
If I don’t use keys/groups for commercial purposes, I may use them for info articles (SEO). The most visited (by a long shot) page on the site, which I sold as a part of the business was “The History of 3d printing”.
📜 Research should also include many other “places”, basically one should identify where potential customers hang out, what they need (their problems), and how one can reach them, and as a result will have some potential acquisition channels, and a list of “problems” to form an offer with.
I will only cover the fastest and the one I know best - Google ads (+ a bit of SEO for the long game). This channel corresponds rather well, with my understanding, of where my “target audience” may be (more on that below).

1. Second is a List of competitors. I will only need ones’ that will compete with me for my target demographic. Specifically, I would like to know:
   
   1. Domain name;
   2. Their offer (range of services, materials, unique propositions);
   3. Their main (and all significant pages) Title, H1, description, “subtitle”, unique selling propositions, and maybe a screenshot of HERO;
   4. Their CTAs (calls to action - do they use online calculators, contact form…).

The list can go on, but those are the most important (probably), the logic behind it - I want to know what has been offered so far, compare it to the demand from list 1, and identify where I can “squeeze in”.

1. Third list - competitor’s prices. Based on my initial ”vision” (what/for whom I will try to do) I prepare a couple of inquiries, which I send to competitors to quote.

I would like to know:

• Price;
• Fulfillment time;
• Conditions;
• How competitors interact with prospects.

Inquiries may be:

1. A somewhat complicated “technical” model of a middle size;
2. Small-to-mid batch of parts (up to 100-300);
3. A somewhat big (that will probably require printing in parts and assembly) model + separately I would inquire about painting;

As a result, I understand how I may price my services. I prefer to start somewhere in the lower middle of a price range and slowly go up.
I know what I won't do - I won't try to go for the cheapest price - it is a road to nowhere. I may go for it once or twice to snatch an order, which will be beneficial to my portfolio, but that is it!
Now I also understand how my competitors interact with their customers and what I can offer in this regard.

Plan

With that data gathered I am now ready to compose a “business plan” /set up business goals for 1-3 years, and lay out a tactical (more detailed) plan for a quarter or so.
Usually, the latter shall be detailed like: I need to reach X revenue/per day, to get Y rev per month, and for that, I will need Z inquiries and so on... But as I am just starting, it may not make a lot of sense, since there are no "base" numbers. But I will use that type of planning as soon as I have those numbers (after 6-12 months).
I also will align the plan with my vision, and maybe add some details to it, based on the data I’ve gathered.
I will have a somewhat united note/doc with actionable tasks, equipped with due dates (those are very important), and an overall plan.
I like to unify all of the above (lists, vision, tasks…) as a project in a project management software (later about that). Much easier to manage and keep track of.

Offer and Site creation

Now I can form my offer.
This offer will be presented on my site, in my ads, and everywhere else.
I need to describe CLEARLY what do I do exactly, for whom, and why those people should take their business to me (competitive advantages).
I pick a name, and domain name and make a logo. I keep in mind that they are a part of the offer (everything is), and I keep them as short, direct, and close to the point as possible. I squeeze a relevant keyword in if I can.
Before I decide I type the name into the search and see what pops up (don’t skip that part).
Now I can make a site. I pick one of the No-code options to create it myself or delegate it. Keep in mind that you will need to correct and change the site: an offer (text. headings), portfolio, blog (for SEO purposes), services, etc. The no-code solution will allow you to do that yourself.
It will be a landing page (in the beginning), and it will include:

• Title (shown as a first string in search);
• Description (shown as a second string in the search);

HERO SECTION (first screen basically - 80% of people won’t go below it)

• H1 (main “title” shown on the top of the page)
• Subtitle (text below the H1, usually supports the H1 and includes unique selling points);
• Clear CTA (Call to action);
• Foto or video of what I’ve done (the visual representation of services works really well);
• Unique selling points (not included in the subtitle, or supporting/elaborating on them);

END OF THE HERO SECTION

• Unique selling points;
• All other headers;
• All other text;
• Examples (what I’ve done) and/or testimonials - if I truly just starting I may need to make some examples of objects I would like to make (as close to desired nich as possible) and take GOOD photos of them (It can be powerful, that is what I did and people told me many times, that they “came” because of “beautiful” thing that we’ve done (“beautiful” is mostly attribute off a picture, then a thing);
• FAQ (those shall be questions that your customers ask you the most, I mean REAL questions - they work rather well as objection handlers);
• Clear CTA (Call to action);

As there is just one page, it should target the most relevant oand big commercial keyword group.
The “art” of creating a Title, H1, and the rest of the text, headings, and attributes is a delicate dance between the need to be different from competitors, the need to incorporate the right keywords, basic SEO guidelines, and most importantly - to present a compelling offer.
📜 An important thing to keep in mind - your first screen should tell, straight and clearly - what services you provide, for whom, and why a visitor should click your CTA, or continue reading.
Last thing - make sure that it looks fine and loads quickly on mobile. More than half of the traffic will be from there.
Research says, that If it loads more than 3 seconds - more than 70% of people bounce.
Check your speed here - https://pagespeed.web.dev/
There is A LOT more to that, but it is beyond the scope of this article.

Traffic: Ads and SEO

Now I need traffic:
Google ads. As I just starting, I need to be as targeted as possible. So I will:

• Vet keywords carefully, avoid high-frequency ones, and compose them into groups.
• Start with one or two groups, with a limited number of keywords with clear commercial intent.
• Limit the location to the city I am in.
• Add a minus keywords list. If a search query includes one of the words from the list (like FREE, or CHEAP) - ads won't be shown.

Google pushes everyone really hard to use responsive search ads + broad match + AI-suggested keywords (performance MAX they call it), but I won't.
Why?

1. It will greatly disperse the focus, and therefore results of my campaign.
2. It is still not working properly, especially for small and/or “complicated” niches. In other words, it will waste my money, (relocate it to Google), without bringing back results (or at least as many).

And I don't want that.
I will use exact match, fix (pin) headings and descriptions, and practically make "an old school" text ad from a responsive search ad. I will have to do different ads for different keywords (if the keyword or phrase is matched in the title, conversion is higher); Yes, it will be more work, but results will be better, and controllable.
Just how I like them.
Now I will compose my "SEO plan", I will:

• Plan to add new "commercial" pages to the site (one page per meaningful keyword group) as I go.
• Create a schedule: after the main page is up, I will try to “deploy” them in 2-4 week intervals, starting with the most meaningful/impactful.
• Make Google index it through its search console after the first publishable version of the site is done. I will repeat the operation with every meaningful page I add, including info SEO pages (below).
• Form a few groups from keywords with informational intent, vet groups that align with my direction, and plan an article for each vetted group - a separate page on the site with a personal set of SEO attributes.
• Publish them with the same or longer intervals as for the "commercial" pages.
• Try to make those articles as valuable for the reader as possible. Everything I do shall be client-oriented (bring value), and user behavior is more and more important for SEO.

This “article” is an example of such a page.
I won't cover social media here, since its plenty of info on that topic.
From my experience, if I plan (and I do) to offer 3d printing services to businesses (B2B), social media (with the exception of LinkedIn maybe, not sure nowadays what is what) is not exactly a place for “fishing” (I might be wrong).

Legal+

Moving along to the legal land.
I will not go deep into the business structure (LLCs or sole proprietorships), just say that you need one. Figure out what works best in your case, but note: if you are planning (envisioning) to sell your business one day (or a part of it) - you will need it to be at least an LLC.
This structure (as stated in the name), also limits your liability, which is not a bad thing. One more thing that does that, and at times viewed as a formality - is a contract.
I’ve learned to appreciate contracts and pay attention to their "design". The contract sets expectations, protects both you and your client, and serves as an extension to your offer - a clear, correct, and honest contract, that picks up on promises you’ve made will reassure your client that you are a trustworthy professional.
Create a clear, correct contract template (or templates), seek professional help/advice if needed, and try not to overcomplicate it (easier-smaller the better).
📜 Before the contract, expectations are set during all interactions with a client: nuances, limitations, examples, samples, etc. As the number of interactions with clients starts to grow you will notice repetitive patterns in questions and answers. Create a base with answer templates - those saved me a ton of time and improved the quality of my communication.

3d printers and a space (finally here they are)

Well, and yeah, I need 3d printers to start a 3d printing business.
If you plan to start such a business, you may already have some, and/or possess the needed knowledge in the matter, but I still going to say a few things. No specific models, or vendors though, since there is a lot of printer-related content out there, and the scene is rapidly (wink) changing.
I would try to pick one type of printer (or at least a vendor) and stick to it. Benefits:

• Somewhat stable overall quality;
• Same spare parts;
• Same repair and maintenance routine;
• Same working protocols;
• Same slicing…

I also will (at least in the beginning) look for stable machines, that would not require a ton of maintenance.
Note here: your choice shall also be based on your perceived goal (niche you want to end up with/customers you want to serve), and you may need different types of printers for that.
Depending on my situation, I may not need an office/working space right from the start (at least not until the idea has been validated). If I do, I would get something with a space to grow (aligned with my plan/goals), but I would try not to jump over my head with it.

One software to control it all

There is one more thing that I will need right from the start (because I don’t want to replicate my own mistakes) - a software suite to manage the business. Getting it from the start will provide the most leverage and set me up on the right path.
I will need:

• CRM - all work with a client: pricing, offers, deals, followups, deadlines, docs… +
• ERP - control and management of all resources: materials, printers, team… +
• Production scheduling +
• Maintenance, Repairs, Spare parts, and materials control +
• Team + Docs + Files storage + Contractors + Spending + everything else.

I couldn't find one that incorporates all of it, so I’ve made my own (there is a Free version, try it out, let me know what you think).
Management software and CRM might not be obvious must-haves, but they are if I want to make it into a controllable and growing business (and I do).
There is no other way, look at any business that made it - they all without exception use such systems.
One more thing - all business decisions shall be based on data: how would I know, for example, if my ads campaign is making (and how much) or losing money, without knowing what my average check, margin, or LTV is for any type of service for a needed time period?

Summary and Q&A

There is a lot more to that, but it is already too long.
So I’ve got:

1. List of keywords;
2. List of competitors;
3. Price research (and base price level as a result);
4. A plan;
5. An offer;
6. Name and logo;
7. Website (with offer and good photos of done jobs on it);
8. Google ads campaign (or other acquisition channel, start from one you know best/where your customers are);
9. SEO plan;
10. Legal entity;
11. Contract templates;
12. “Sales templates” base (those collected on the go, but you may already have something since you talked to people before);
13. Printers;
14. Some physical space;
15. Management system/software (like this one)

3 BONUS reminders for myself:

• To get paid in advance. ALWAYS, at least partially;
• To do extra for customers. If I can, when I can;
• To be patient- business is a marathon, not a sprint;

Some Q&A:

• Is the 3d printing business a good business to start?

It is not a get-rich-quick scheme, and it is not particularly easy, but all things that are worth doing are hard (that is what they say).
If you like it/are passionate about it/good at it (the most important factor in my opinion.) - it certainly might be.
I’ve planned to go with the B2B service model (on-demand manufacturing), and that trend will only grow over time.
Since we talked about the US, let's take a look at this article and specifically the chart of Construction spending on US manufacturing https://www.businessinsider.com/us-building-factories-census-data-chips-act-inflation-reduction-act-2023-6?op=1 + big new “infrastructure rebuild projects” might be somewhere around the corner.
What does it all have to do with a small 3dp service? The economy is an interconnected system. All of those “big projects” will require a lot of smaller contractors/suppliers, and they will need smaller ones…and that is where I come in.

• Why the service model?

2 reasons:

1. I know how to do it (done it for 10 years), the data above backs the idea up, and I still see a lot of upsides and opportunities there (aside from the data).
2. It is a lot easier to “search” for product ideas - they come to you (for that you will have to have a B2C “department” though). I’ve recently talked to a few 3dp business owners (and read a few stories over the years), and almost all of them had their product ideas brought to them by clients.

• Is it profitable?

If you create a system (management software can help with that) with processes in place, create and maintain customer acquisition channels, and price correctly - it will be.
I hope you got some value out of it.
Thanks for reading.

Episode 7 - Watching The Ocean from The Roof
^{Episode aired February 15th, 1976}
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Staff Highlight
Tsuguo Nakatogawa - Sound engineer in charge of ‘recording adjustment.’

A sound engineer who worked on the sound mixing and recording adjustment for many anime through his long career. Little information is widely available as to Nakatogawa’s life and early career, but we do know that he worked as an assistant to noted anime sound director Yasuo Urakami, participated in the establishment of AUDIO PLANNING U in 1972, and later the establishment of APU MEGURO STUDIO in 1981, where he remained working until his retirement. Some of the more notable productions he participated in include Heidi, Girl of The Alps, Anne of Green Gables,Game Center Arashi, Ore wa Teppei, Perman, many entries in the Doraemon franchise, Space Runaway Ideon, Gauche the Cellist, Panzer World Galient, Armored Trooper Votoms, Unico in the Island of Magic, and Dirty Pair: Affair on Nolandia among many others.

Daily Trivia

An educational video game software based on the show was developed for the Sega Pico, alongside three others based on World Masterpiece Theatre shows.

Screenshot of the day

• Vantage point.

Questions of the Day:
1) What do you think of the Rossi family’s new abode?
2) What do you think of the new information gained on Fiolina’s family?
But it makes you smile.

My part in the situation: I am the oldest of 7, and don't keep close contact with my dad, his wife, or my 2 youngest siblings for a list of reasons that exceed the posting limit here, but it could be summed up that a number of significant things in my life are things they've routinely rejected, so I stopped putting effort into the relationship. At the same time, my phone number has not changed in almost 20 years and I have never removed them from my FB contacts, so they have always been able to reach me. When my stepmom's dad died last fall, I responded to her messages, offered condolences, and sent pictures of my family because they wanted to include us in his memorial. In short, we are not close, but it's not like it's been years since my last contact with them.
I found out from a FB post last night my dad had a stroke and was admitted to the hospital and later to ICU. No call, no message, nothing. I wasn't even tagged on the post. I don't really spend my time on FB anymore, so thankfully it so happened that I saw it around all the ads/clickbait, but I am upset that was how I found out so I commented that I was glad/lucky to have seen the post, that I hope he makes a full recovery, and then tagged my other adult siblings to make sure they had heard. It seems my sister didn't know, but both my brothers knew (which is its own can or two of worms). My stepmom never responded to me, but did make excuses about FB not working and not knowing my sister's number, so I pointed put that my info has not changed in 18 years, posted my number for everyone, repeated my request to stay in the loop, volunteered to make sure my sister knew what was going on, and let them know if tables were turned and something happened to my child that I would tell them before making a public FB post about it, but now I'm being childish, airing dirty laundry, and causing drama.
I don't have redacted screenshots handy, and posting them as a comment is against guidelines as I understand them, but I genuinely want to know if IATA here (my husband, mom, closest friend, and sister say I'm not, but they have their own biases), so I have not left anything out to put myself in a better light.
AITA?

Why does Nijisanji always have to do this... I've been so busy lately that even the time to write this has been cut down...
You only budgeted less than an hour to write this, you big dumbass
I-
Not only that, you also have to wake up early.
Yes, I kn-
IT IS 3:41 AM LOCAL TIME YOU SHITTY MOD
^{I-I know... please...}
THESE THINGS TAKE HOURS TO DO PROPERLY! YOU ARE SHIT AT SCHEDULING!
^\MikaCry.png*)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is 3:44AM local time when I decided to start writing this. I try to keep a week window to do these so it is really a "weekly" wrap up. Consistency is very important after all. Then I look at how far down I have to go to reach the previous weekly wrap up and I'm just like... "There has to be a better way...."
If I try to write every day on what happen tho and save a draft, it won't flow well and the writing tone will change and stuff. So... I'll just have to do this I guess?... Wait.. I'm already over time... WHAT THE FU-
.... *cough* Anyways.
Do you remember when Fuwa Minato (from Niji JP) suggested to a teen during a radio-callin to "buy followers"? Quite a sh-tty thing to suggest that you artificially inflate your social media followers so you get a fake number to show off. Especially on how much teens take stock on such metrics socially? There is also the question raised on how accurate their own sub counts are now (considering their talent just outright said to buy such things). What bad optics yo.
Nijisanji opens their mouth and "interesting" stuff comes out... Wait.. THAT is the first topic after the last write up? WHAT?!
There was also that picture of the Niji Retirees without Sayu. Link is a direct XTwitter one lol. Tracked down the artist lol.
Also a meme
There is also this post... "If Hell is Forever, then Heaven must be a Lie". Does Vtubing attract those with a different slant mentally or does it cause it? \looks at the mirror* ...* Hmn... At least in this context, a certain company certainly doesn't help at all.
Oh right! Sayu also had her first Honkai Star Rail sponsored stream lol (oh here is also the stream link). Considering things, it is nice that she got a sponsored stream from MiHoYo again. Personally I don't currently play any of their games (I did tho :P) so I have no strong feelings about it one way or another. I just know the lore and... its nice.
Then there is KamiiGOO tweeting on how happy she is. I mean I know that it is being magnified by the context but holy heck is the unsaid parts being echoed out so hard in the background lol
Then there was that post about Black Vtubing companies. I mean, there is certainly to be said about the one that doxxed their own talents. At the same time tho, they are not as big as Nijisanji/AnyColor and how many more people are affected by what they do. Either way, I do wonder how many Vtubing companies have been outed as "Black"... I don't have enough energy to seriously pursue it lol
Then there is that post about Sayu surpassing Zaion. The new surpases the old. Nice
NijiSisters are hypocrites.... HA
The Sky is Blue
The Sun Rises from the East
NijiSisters are hypocrites.
Fact of life folks. This ain't gonna change. They're a bunch of crazies if one is being honest.
\Sees Suisei-sama, have to talk about it**
I... I actually can't talk too much about the thing with Suisei-sama \feels the time pressure right now*. Basically, she turned off SuperChats because she already has a lot of merch that any Hoshiyomis worth their salt would be devouring (\wallet-kun dies a violent death*) so she'd rather save her fans SOME money and go with a merch instead. At least that way, they'll get something for supporting her too!
Iroha-dono must also be suffering quite a bit. As the Hoshiyomi representative, any support for her will no doubt also flow towards partly supporting Suisei-sama too... UGH... The amount of Merch... *hyperventilates* ^h-help...
Oh to be clear, I'm actually not that big of a Hoshiyomi...
That's a f-cking lie you shitty mod.
^{N-No Comment... but I swear! I'm more of a Tako!}
What time is it again...?
^\screams*)
Then there is the Meme that makes Niji Sith.... Heheh... Seeth, Sith... you know?... no? not funny? I-I'm sorry...
Remember the time when (presumably) Niji Management blocked Niji talents from participating from that certain Tekken event because Doki was in it? I believe Vox also expressed interest but it never materialized? I mean... its petty but it still tracks with what Niji Management does y'know? Late addition: One more post?
^{Oh god, I am still at a VERY small portion... I am already past my allocated schedule for this.. I'm cutting into sleep X\}X)
Dokibird hit 700K subscribers! Yay!
There is also that time when Marine-sencho talked about how "Suffocating" it is to be under Holo Management. Here is even a clip of it. To clarify it, she said on how there ARE restrictions and her manager and staff-san are on her case at times. She internally rages about it at the moment (as is normal). However, she also knows that it is because they are also protecting her too. It is not a case of "being restrictive to bully" but "being restrictive because if we don't, there is a real chance of your channel being deleted/sponsors pulling out". To be clear, there is also the fact that viewers have a nice cache of trust on Holo vs Niji that they believe it when a talent says it like this.
Considering who Senchou is and the stuff that DOES get through (for example...), one could only wonder what kind of yabai it is that DOES GET RESTRICTED. Makes one wonder y'know?
Then out of nowhere, a couple of demon guard dogs said "Hold our Bone" then showcased a small spread of their hand-signed postcards for their birthday merch. Looking closely, you can see that they ARE hand-signed. In the context of Niji, this absolutely MAULS and MOGS on a certain someone who got outed that their signature isn't even signed by themselves LOL. Did they even offer hand-signed postcards? Or are they all just stamped? No idea, I never even looked at their merch lol.
Now, to be clear, I did wish Hex Haywire a happy birthday and a very long tenure with Nijisanji (hehe), but damn did Niji Management did him dirty on his stream. Not that I really care nor watch him, but still sucks when they do this.
Oh, and remember, he's the one who f-cked around with the ashes of a friend's dead Grandfather and someone's pet fish. He's not a nice person.
Then there is that Meme about how you avoid Nijisanji without actively avoiding them. Heh.
Oh, this is what I'd like to call "Foreshadowing"?
Apparently Dokibird/Selen is unmarketable? One tweet of many that says otherwise :P Late addition: Marvel Alpha. Really unmarketable huh?
This is also Round 2 of the Transparency post btw. Just a little thing...
There is also this post about Parrot. Damn, it's only May... wait... it's only May... Oh fu-
Oh right, shihomii created the sticky post in regards to making a master timeline of things. Nice.
Remember that Foreshadowing? Well, there has been some posts that popped up on it. To be clear, for a majority of healthy sane adults who knows their stuff,responsible consumption of these mixed drinks wouldn't cause a major problem for them. The Math has been done by various people on it. It SHOULDN'T be that big of a problem. However, it was done while marketing to an obvious younger demographic that might not exactly know when to stop. There is also the fact that NO SANE COMPANY would outright say or even want the messaging NEAR THEM to mix energy drinks + alcohol. Especially on a 1:1 ratio. This is just absolute MADNESS that they said "Oh, yeah, this is fine." and gave the approval. it got even the Japanese government involved. Also, links to posts about this being randomly placed cuz reasons :P late addition: Lamy talking about Mixing Alcohol and Energy drinks. There is even a clip of it! Wild Yagoo appears
There is also a question posted. Why even be in Nijisanji?
Then there is the Comparison meme.
Gotta say that I can't understand Claude Logic. I think I'm better off that way.
Apparently, there has been some Nijisisters who are trying to weaponize the NijiJP fanbase to attack Khyo. Huh...
There is also a post about Polka-sama... Ever Blue huh...
There is also another dokibird W going to AVCon as a guest.
Coco-kaichou mentioned.
So apparently Anime Impulse's M&G tickets are still not sold out. So they increased the limit to 5. Y'know, target the whales :P. It allowed them to sell out on some more talents. Really milking those whales eh?
Artist tries to hide from Vtuber. Wasn't that successful.
So Armchair Expert did a follow-up video. This time analyzing the Zaion situation and how it reflects on what AnyColoNijisanji did to Selen. Obviously people have thoughts on it. To me, it just said the quiet, unsaid parts out loud while also throwing terms that the average person doesn't know about. Things like "Folk Devil". I remember talking on how I personally know about it already and what Armchair Expert's video did is to deliver it in a way that the regular people would understand and digest it. I wonder where I said that... I forgor lol
There has been an update for Kotoka Torahime. For those concerned, here you go!
Grim
^{Halp, I'm losing steam X\}X... my sleep time....)
Crazy Nijisister implies that they and Nijisanji will try to get 4chan shutdown. I remember cackling like mad when i saw this. I was laughing so much that I had to get water. Onee-sama was concerned for me when she saw me barely standing up trying to get water because I was laughing too much. Hmmm~
Remember folks that false flagging is always a thing. Keep an eye out.
Idol Sponsored Dokibird to watch their new gen
So Sayu did a watchalong of Armchair Expert. That was even watched by the mod staff. Thoughts and points were talked about. From both the user base and the mod team. Wild really.
So, Hololive Meet Taipei 2024. Why is this relevant? Well, they also had a Karaoke event (not concert) that can be compared to VR-SG. Pointed out in a reply by OP, it sure looks like Hololive keeps on winning even on a "Karaoke" vs VR-SG. Here is Bae posting some pics (tweet here). FuwaMoco also did one. Here is Gura's own tweet. Here is also some thoughts about it (with pics) and more replies too. This absolutely is just.... I mean.... the Down Under Concert is... a Concert. This is Hololive on a Karaoke!!! VR-SG is a Karaoke (it ain't a concert) so this is the most comparable comparisons. SO THIS JUST PROVES THAT NIJI IS MOGGED HARD BY MOST OBJECTIVE METRICS. Heck, I was recently watching an old hwikky video about AGF and I was struck on how a free DJ event in that convention must have comparable attendance while having A LOT MORE ENERGY to VR-SG. It is just wild really. Late addition: More Screenshots (along with official tweet). Btw, did VR-SG release any "official photos" of their event?
There was also a M&G comparison between Holo and Niji's VR-SG.
Dokibird is also hosting a WrestleTuber event that has HoloStars, Idol EN, and Phase Connect members in it.
Oh, here is a good reminder.
More NijisisteNDF madness. Daymn they crazy.
Dokibird W with AnimeThon bringing her in as a Guest of Honor (that's the tweet). This girl is BUSY. wtf.
Wait, NijiEN is having a *Full 3D concert* at AnimeExpo? Considering how the last one went.. \Are they Sure**?
Bonnivier Pranaja was announced to be graduating Nijisanji. I don't know who this is personally so I can't really say much. However, I don't think his name came up on any predictions at all.
*looks at the time* oh god...
My sleep...
.... *sigh*
Well... I'm all caught up... you are all too... I spent... *checks* ... too long on this... most likely because I wanted to make sure I linked things properly + watched things so its accurate.
I want to sleep.
Ugh.
Thank you very much for reading! I'll see you guys at the next post!
Yours,
CPC_Alice

We get it. Drama sucks. Gossip is toxic. Generally, I'd much prefer to hang out with people that aren't ripping their hair out over dirty laundry. What I think bugs me the most about gossip/drama, however, are the ones that feel the need to stick their noses up and act like sophisticated gods amongst the earth because they supposedly are above caring about such petty things. These types get under my skin because:

1. They're hypocrites. They'll whine and whine about how much they "hate drama" and are above all the toxicity, but will gladly dive head first into some silly controversy related to whatever thing they're interested in, or will tear apart someone they think is drama obsessed without realizing the irony. It's almost like it's human nature to find negative emotion and controversy interesting, methinks 🤔. I've deadass heard people blabber about how they wanna be "drama free", then the next day they start shoving their phone in my face with screenshots of some text conversation with some dude I don't fucking know that they don't like. And all I hearead in that yapping is Charlie Brown's teacher going "whomp whomp womp."
   
2. They tend to act elitist and/or pretentious as fuck. Oh sure buddy, you're SOOOO much smarter and better than everyone else because you spend your free time watching Rick and Morty or some bullshit rather than a crappy reality show. Me tribe better than you tribe, headass. A lot of times, these types will be WAY less educated and sophisticated than they proport to be. I could even make a point about how elitist attitudes towards gossip content (that isn't fair and much deserved criticism because holy shit tabloids/tea channels have done some serious harm) play into the phenomenon of "things aimed at teen girls get more aggressive flack than other types of content," but that's a discussion for a different day.
   
3. In some cases, an "above drama" attitude is just a mask for blatent people pleasing and protection of bad actors. Look at that whole Completionist internet drama from last year as an example. To offer a brief summary for those unaware, "The Completionist" is a gaming YouTuber who also ran a charity called "The Open Hand Foundation" that raised funds for dementia research. In 2023, fellow gaming YouTubers Karl Jobst and SomeOrdinaryGamers released videos showing that said charity hadn't actually donated money to any medical research, with the money instead piling up as seen on the organization's taxes. While most people saw the evidence presented and were rightfully angry, a sizable amount of associates of The Completionist alongside overly dedicated fans rushed to defend the YouTuber largely by calling the situation "toxic drama." Uhhh, no. Allegations, with receipts, of someone lying CONSTANTLY about where charity money was going to isn't "petty drama," or just "an excuse to farm views." Take that toxic positivity and shove it up your dementia scamming asshole. There's more I could say specifically about this point, but I think I've made my case pretty well.
   

Drama sucks because it pries into people's privacy. Because it's often used to push division. Because it's used to shame traits, identities, and behaviors that shouldn't be shamed. It's also a natural part of life that virtually EVERYONE finds at least somewhat entertaining. And sometimes, it's necessary to blow the whistle on people who have VERIFIABLY done suspicious/downright deplorable things. People that have to constantly decry about how much they hate toxicity and negativity ironically come off as vapid, bitter, vain, and negative to me.

so for a but of backround,I (f17) and my girlfriend (f16) have both delt with mental health issues and trauma, ext. This was one of the things we bonded over, since the start i felt comfortable enough around her to briefly explain my past with issues such as self harm, addiction and eating disorders and i told her that before i met her i was in the middle of a large relapse and she saved me. after around a month of being together, i became friends with a guy who i’ll call alex (for privacy reasons) and my girlfriend seemed to hate alex for the first half of the relationship, however after a while they started to bond more and grow closer.I was happy for them since my gf had finally made a new friend and Alex had made a new friend at first, however this is where things escalated. 2 weeks ago (after a long messaging conversation of her love bombing me) my girlfriend seemed unstable, i tried to talk to her but i was ignored and she ran away multiple times. one of my friends tried to talk to her but she lashed out at my friend calling her a “fat bitch” and telling her to “get the fuck away from me”. I was incredibly worried since my girlfriend doesn’t usually act this way and I made sure to try to talk to her but when talking wasn’t working out, I tried to message her. I reassured her how much i loved her and i told her that if she ever feels upset she can talk to me and i told her how much i cared for her. To no supprise I was left on read but i didn’t mind since I knew she would get the message. that next day i wasn’t in but the day after I found something felt off, I noticed that even though my girlfriend was upset with everyone, she was only happy around one person. Alex. I saw them both sat together on the staircase, the same smile she had with me on our first date. I know it was probably platonic but the jealousy started to kick in, especially when I saw them throughout the day and had multiple of my friends flagged up to me that they saw my girlfriend being super close with alex and doing things such and hugging and holding hands. I know this is silly but I felt betrayed because she was acting with him the same way she was with me. once i got home that day I needed space and I decided to block her for the time being to calm down. I had A few of my friends message me and i told them the situation but unfortunately most of them couldn’t keep a secret and it spread like wildfire amongst my group. it went from feelings of betrayal to “being cheated on with 3 different guys”. on Monday when my girlfriend was still avoiding me,I knew I needed to do something so i asked her to talk about things and she agreed, we spoke for a while about the situation and she explained to me how the rumours were mainly pissing her off and how she has no feelings for Alex whatsoever. she apologised for her ghosting and love bombing tendencies and told me she understood it wasn’t fair on me and we both agreed to come to one another instead of our friends if we had issues with things. I thought that was that and I thought this issue was resolved until i noticed my girlfriend was ghosting me and once again saw her with Alex (her now supposed“boy best friend”) leaning together, laughing together, making hearts together whilst I’m very visibly there and giving me and my friends dirty looks. I’ve tried to ignore her for now just in case something was going on but tonight one of her friends messaged me with a screenshot of a paragraph my girlfriend wrote about me. In the paragraph she completely flipped the situation around on me, claiming that I straight up accused her of cheating, saying that by talking about my mental health problems openly i was manipulative and accused me of cheating on her because i am still on good terms with one of my ex girlfriends. I am incredibly confused and I want to know Reddits opinion to see if maybe I did something wrong and how I should approach the situation?

Someone just texted me out of the blue and being nice i replied back and than she starts being weird asking if she can dirty talk so i say idc and then she dirty talks then eventually she’s talking to me and then she asks if im hard or soft and I say soft than she says show me you soft and than i tried mulitple things to avoid it and the only reason i fell for it was cause i said no screenshots and she agreed putting it on her mom and they have my phone number as well now they are showing me a screenshot of my followers and a picture of me and my yk they wanted me to pay 100 but i have 50 in the card and then i payed 20 out of fear and than they were trying to get 80 more from me and then threatened to send it to my followers and than they said 50 so i paied the rest of my 30 dollars out of fear knowing this could ruin my life and then they say they never got the money even when i showed it on my end thst i have no money left and that i did pay it and now i have to get them a gift card by Sunday what do i do please help me

Hello all,
I've been creating nerdy as hell Google Sheets for a little bit now and I've been having fun using it as a reason to learn things about the workings of spreadsheets. However, my current project has me a little stumped and I would like some assistance for a solution (clean or dirty) which would resolve my issue.
It goes as follows:
I have a 5 sheet project - each sheet is a different tournament which New Japan Pro Wrestling currently (and actively) holds annually. Each sheet is broken down into a list of the following:

• Wrestler's name
• Number of entries in the tournament the sheet represents
• Results based on the matches in the tournament
  • Wins
  • Draws
  • Losses
• Number of tournament wins
• Number of second place finishes
• Total points (done by formula, assigning points values to each of the above columns, excluding losses)

As an example, here's the finished sheet for the New Japan Cup:
Screenshot of finished New Japan Cup results
As you will also see from the screenshot, I also have an additional sheet for "Sorted Rankings", which just takes the ranking based on that sheet.
However, it is guaranteed that, once I move into the other tournaments, that certain names will repeat. So what I am looking for is a way to have a definitive ranking that adds the results for all wrestlers across every tournament. So it ideally starts in sheet 1, and lists all the names, moves to sheet 2 and, if any names repeat, it adds those totals to the existing record. It does this until all sheets are read and I get a final absolute total.
Is there a way in which this idea can be realised?
EDIT: If the image doesn't work, I also uploaded it to Imgur: https://imgur.com/5KZ4eTj

I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for 5 years.
This was my first proper relationship, but she has had multiple relationships before me, the longest lasting 3 years.
I dont know if there's a way to write this post in a non biased way without writing a whole book explaining our life stories.. nor do I know what the purpose of writing this even is, I guess I'm just trying to get some stuff off my chest during a rough time...
I like to think I'm emotionally mature, in reality I don't think I could be labeled as that as I do have ADHD and a good amount of emotional dysregulation and anger issues. But I like to 'think' I am or at least strive to be, because regardless of my issues I do know how a normal person should behave even if I struggle to behave like that, I always strive to be better and only do things with good intentions. I try not to make excuses for myself, I know when I do things that are wrong, I just sometimes don't know how to do the right thing in a way that doesn't come across as wrong.
Ever since me and my girlfriend met I've been telling her - lets be honest to each other, if there are any problems, you can tell me and we can talk about it, communication is key. I always believed all problems can be solved through talking.
But, even after 5 years it's as if she never understood what any of that meant..
We started arguing quite a lot a few months after we started dating, mostly because of petty little things. She'd be dishonest about something, I'd find out she wasn't honest and it'd set me off on a rant complaining about honesty for way too long. For example a common theme at the start was her talking to her ex she dated for 3 years. I didn't really have a problem with that as long as it wasn't cheating, and what she spoke to her ex about was certainly not cheating, her ex was in a commited relationship as well. I knew an emotionally mature person would say that's fine and it was fine to me, I let her know it's fine, but she'd still go and hide that she was talking to them and would lie saying she isn't... Like why? I told you its okay multiple times, you don't have to be dishonest about it, what's the worst that could happen, we talk about it like adults and that's it?
Most of our arguments she'd shut down as well and not say a single thing, it'd be like me complaining to a wall, she would never say she has any issues about me, nothing at all which set me on a tunnel visioned path of even more complaining and failing to comprehend how hard it could be to just talk. A lot of the time I'd say and beg "if you could just talk to me we wouldn't be in this mess", sometimes even begging her to tell me something I did wrong and I'd want her to get upset at me for once so it wasnt so one sided, but that never happened.
I never wanted to be in those arguments, looking back yes it was toxic behaviour from both of us, especially me, and if we argued about such stupid stuff why were we even together?
We stayed together because the times that we didn't argue which were the majority of the time everything felt perfect, so many times we said how great the other person is, it was everything we could've asked for. She was and still is the kindest person I know deep down. We had so many common interests, so many happy memories, so whilst the bad things were blown out of proportion, in the end it was all mostly okay.
Things got better throughout the years, we'd still argue about some of the same issues but we seemed to argue less.
She struggled with mental health just like me, not diagnosed with anything, but she strongly believed she might have autism and was on a waiting list for diagnosis. She's had a lot of trauma in her childhood from bullying at school and even at home because of an alcoholic step dad, she struggled to keep a job for longer than a few months and got diagnosed with some physical problems too like IIH migraines. I tried my best to support her, I researched what we could do to relieve her stress and migraines, how we could get a job for her that she would be happy in, etc.
I saw myself in her as I know how big of a struggle it is to achieve stuff in life when you have problems setting you back. I myself didn't get a proper job until 3 years into the relationship. Then she finally got a job she has been in for about a year now too.
Things were starting to look good, we fought so hard throughout the years to live a better life together and we were finally starting to achieve that, we had money we could spend to go and do things, etc.
Except.. we still had our petty arguments and whilst they did get better for some time, they got worse again. It was exhausting for both of us, I was still mostly the same complaining about the same stuff, she was mostly the same shutting down and making me feel like I'm not being listened to.
Now this is the part which I regret the most that I'm very conflicted by and embarrassed of.. during some arguments things would get heated and I'd end up raising my voice and saying nasty things to get a reaction out of her because it was always so one sided.. I also did things to control her
I don't know if I'm abusive, I don't really understand my actions, I never wanted to be like this, I've questioned myself and read posts online to try and understand what the hell am I, but I just don't know
For example something controlling and abusive I did was only a few weeks ago.. she had plans to go out with her work friends after work, which I truly didn't have a problem with, I was happy for her to go out, she hasn't been going out much and I always thought it would help us having some time away from each other.
I said to her okay, but please don't get home too late and don't drink much. I've had bad experiences with alcohol and drugs in the past, nothing to do with the relationship, just personally it would make me feel terrible so I quit it altogether 3 years ago and haven't been drunk since. Because of her physical problems and mental problems she has to take quite a few medications throughout the day and we always agreed she wouldn't drink much because of it, in case the alcohol triggers any flare ups or interacts with her medication.
She agreed to this, but when the day came she left work at 6pm and only got home at 12am, I could immediately tell she was drunk so I asked her how much she drank. This time she was more honest with me (she was genuinely trying to improve in being honest, this wasnt just the alcohol making her more open) and said she had multiple vodkas, plus a few other drinks, as well as at least 6+ shots, or in her words "so many I can't remember, my friends were just handing them to me and I didnt refuse".
I don't know if I was being unreasonable, but to me getting home around 12am is late and drinking that much alcohol is a lot... which is the opposite of what we agreed on.. now I regret what happened next because she was fine, the alcohol didn't interact with her and she was okay even the next day, but I felt like she didn't listen to something so simple again which set me off on another blown out of proportion rant towards her
But this time it escalated and I blew up at her saying no more going out, she either doesn't go out anymore as she is clearly irresponsible with alcohol or we can break up, I regretted saying it in the moment as I knew immediately that sort of shit is toxic, but in the moment my judgment was clouded by my anger and I just wanted the best for her. I was thinking "but what if the alcohol did react poorly and you didnt listen to me?" I didnt want anything bad happening to her... I felt like I was being disrespected
This wasn't the first time I did something like this when I felt like I wasn't being listened to. Another example would be her playing online games with her friends, which was fine, I'm a gamer myself, but a lot of the time I felt like gaming for her was a higher priority than our relationship.
Multiple times we argued about it and I tried to tell her how I felt, but things didn't really change, which led to me blowing up and telling her she can't use the PS5 which I bought with my own money, I then went and deleted her account and games off of it as a punishment
None of this lasted very long though which is where I'm conflicted as to who I truly am and what my intentions are.. I never enjoyed doing any of this, I hated seeing her cry, immediately after this happened, every time I'd regret it. I'd try and remain stern though hoping it would bring a needed change to our relationship, maybe I'd finally be listened to.. I'd always give in in a few days as I couldn't stand acting like that and things would go back to normal. I'd say things like "PS5 I bought with my money" but that was just to get a reaction, I never tried to control her money, she had her own bank and I had mine, if she needed money I'd give her it every time she asked, I never refused or took anything rightfully hers away from her
Even with the going out with her work friends thing a few weeks ago.. she told me she was invited to go out again this Thursday and whilst at first I reminded her what I said would happen, she said fine she won't go out, within a few minutes I gave in and said "okay I'm not being serious, you can go out, but please please just don't drink too much".
She went out again, I had no problem with it, she got home a lot earlier and said she didn't drink alcohol, I could tell she didn't, but even if she was lying I believed her and said "thank you, I'm glad you had a great day". That's all I ever wanted.. there was no argument, no miscommunication, I was truly happy
I don't know if I'm an abuser trying to justify my actions or if deep down I'm a good person that does things that come across the wrong way like I try to make myself believe..
Now I'm writing this because she acted like everything was fine, we woke up yesterday like we normally do, watched some funny videos, she had plans to go out to see her friend at 12pm and she would stay there overnight. Fine by me, I'm slightly ill and didn't want to go out and we needed groceries so decided to order some before she left, she picked something she wanted, we watched more funny videos and as 12pm came round I hugged her, kissed her goodbye, did our little bye bye ritual, and she left..
Everything was fine, or so it seemed.. until I received a text about half an hour after she left saying she cannot do this anymore and is breaking up with me.. I tried talking to her but she said "I'll be back with my friends at 8pm to get some of my stuff and then I'll be gone forever" and blocked me. Now this sent me into a panic, this felt so unreal, I tried texting her family and friends to see if it was indeed real and to make sure nothing bad actually happened to her.. yes it was real
After talking to some of her friends she unblocked me and I tried talking to her, but she was just refusing it completely this time. She said we would talk in a few days.. 8pm came around, I packed some stuff she requested and put it outside her door for her to grab, she said she didnt want to see me so I respected it and stayed inside.. and now I'm here stuck in this situation
Normally during our arguments she only ever talks through text, if we are arguing in person she rarely ever says anything or voices any issues. This time she didn't want to talk through text either.
I honestly don't know how to feel. It's clear she has been talking to her friends, instead of me about all our issues, she's always screenshoted our arguments and "aired the dirty laundry" to her friends which I mentioned is a problem, but I never tried to control who she's friends and most of the time we made up and tried to move on...
I don't know if I have the right to feel hurt, my emotions are all over the place right now and this feels like betrayal. I feel like she has done a lot of things that were wrong, especially how she decided to end things by acting like everything is fine then leaving and breaking up over text instead of simply talking to me. I feel upset she would talk to her friends and let her know such personal details, but then again maybe it was justified because of my controlling actions.. even though she did a lot of these things way before I did anything controlling..
I feel like she is a good person but has painted a bad picture of me to her friends which has led her friends to influence her decisions based on a one sided story...
None of this makes much sense to me right now, I never tried to control her so I could have power over her, I never forced her to stay with me, regardless of all the things that happened between us I tried my best to improve and do things differently and see her for the good person she is. I made it clear if we ever break up I want to break up in a calm way, I just want to talk and communicate, I said how I believe most things don't last forever and that it's okay if things go wrong, but we need to at least try if we want to make this work..
I want to believe that everything I've done I did because I loved the person she is 90% of the time, I just wanted her to reciprocate and try to improve how she is during the other 10% as I've been trying to improve myself. I feel like I've sacrificed a lot for her but she hasn't done much for me.. no one is perfect and I had good hopes for both of us.
And now the past 5 years feel like a waste. I don't know why we couldnt avoid this mess.. mostly everything was great apart from our petty arguments
I now just wish I could go back in time and not argue, I wish I could've just let her be who she is and ignore all of those stupid little things because I was genuinely happy. I don't want us to split apart without trying one last time.. I know I can't force her and I don't want to, it just hurts so much seeing the potential and have it be destroyed just like that.
She wants some space right now but said we can talk in a few days. I really don't want us to split over this, I believe there is so much potential. How could I get her to see this? In the end I can't change what she wants, but I don't want to just say "okay" and be done with it without giving it a really really good proper attempt. I still love her more than anything else..
How could I stop thinking about her and calm down whilst I wait for her to talk to me and how could we improve things?
TL;DR; : girlfriend seems to have given up on our relationship without a proper attempt to salvage it in my eyes, how do I calm down whilst I wait for her to talk to me and how could we improve things?

I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for 5 years.
This was my first proper relationship, but she has had multiple relationships before me, the longest lasting 3 years.
I dont know if there's a way to write this post in a non biased way without writing a whole book explaining our life stories.. nor do I know what the purpose of writing this even is, I guess I'm just trying to get some stuff off my chest during a rough time...
I like to think I'm emotionally mature, in reality I don't think I could be labeled as that as I do have ADHD and a good amount of emotional dysregulation and anger issues. But I like to 'think' I am or at least strive to be, because regardless of my issues I do know how a normal person should behave even if I struggle to behave like that, I always strive to be better and only do things with good intentions. I try not to make excuses for myself, I know when I do things that are wrong, I just sometimes don't know how to do the right thing in a way that doesn't come across as wrong.
Ever since me and my girlfriend met I've been telling her - lets be honest to each other, if there are any problems, you can tell me and we can talk about it, communication is key. I always believed all problems can be solved through talking.
But, even after 5 years it's as if she never understood what any of that meant..
We started arguing quite a lot a few months after we started dating, mostly because of petty little things. She'd be dishonest about something, I'd find out she wasn't honest and it'd set me off on a rant complaining about honesty for way too long. For example a common theme at the start was her talking to her ex she dated for 3 years. I didn't really have a problem with that as long as it wasn't cheating, and what she spoke to her ex about was certainly not cheating, her ex was in a commited relationship as well. I knew an emotionally mature person would say that's fine and it was fine to me, I let her know it's fine, but she'd still go and hide that she was talking to them and would lie saying she isn't... Like why? I told you its okay multiple times, you don't have to be dishonest about it, what's the worst that could happen, we talk about it like adults and that's it?
Most of our arguments she'd shut down as well and not say a single thing, it'd be like me complaining to a wall, she would never say she has any issues about me, nothing at all which set me on a tunnel visioned path of even more complaining and failing to comprehend how hard it could be to just talk. A lot of the time I'd say and beg "if you could just talk to me we wouldn't be in this mess", sometimes even begging her to tell me something I did wrong and I'd want her to get upset at me for once so it wasnt so one sided, but that never happened.
I never wanted to be in those arguments, looking back yes it was toxic behaviour from both of us, especially me, and if we argued about such stupid stuff why were we even together?
We stayed together because the times that we didn't argue which were the majority of the time everything felt perfect, so many times we said how great the other person is, it was everything we could've asked for. She was and still is the kindest person I know deep down. We had so many common interests, so many happy memories, so whilst the bad things were blown out of proportion, in the end it was all mostly okay.
Things got better throughout the years, we'd still argue about some of the same issues but we seemed to argue less.
She struggled with mental health just like me, not diagnosed with anything, but she strongly believed she might have autism and was on a waiting list for diagnosis. She's had a lot of trauma in her childhood from bullying at school and even at home because of an alcoholic step dad, she struggled to keep a job for longer than a few months and got diagnosed with some physical problems too like IIH migraines. I tried my best to support her, I researched what we could do to relieve her stress and migraines, how we could get a job for her that she would be happy in, etc.
I saw myself in her as I know how big of a struggle it is to achieve stuff in life when you have problems setting you back. I myself didn't get a proper job until 3 years into the relationship. Then she finally got a job she has been in for about a year now too.
Things were starting to look good, we fought so hard throughout the years to live a better life together and we were finally starting to achieve that, we had money we could spend to go and do things, etc.
Except.. we still had our petty arguments and whilst they did get better for some time, they got worse again. It was exhausting for both of us, I was still mostly the same complaining about the same stuff, she was mostly the same shutting down and making me feel like I'm not being listened to.
Now this is the part which I regret the most that I'm very conflicted by and embarrassed of.. during some arguments things would get heated and I'd end up raising my voice and saying nasty things to get a reaction out of her because it was always so one sided.. I also did things to control her
I don't know if I'm abusive, I don't really understand my actions, I never wanted to be like this, I've questioned myself and read posts online to try and understand what the hell am I, but I just don't know
For example something controlling and abusive I did was only a few weeks ago.. she had plans to go out with her work friends after work, which I truly didn't have a problem with, I was happy for her to go out, she hasn't been going out much and I always thought it would help us having some time away from each other.
I said to her okay, but please don't get home too late and don't drink much. I've had bad experiences with alcohol and drugs in the past, nothing to do with the relationship, just personally it would make me feel terrible so I quit it altogether 3 years ago and haven't been drunk since. Because of her physical problems and mental problems she has to take quite a few medications throughout the day and we always agreed she wouldn't drink much because of it, in case the alcohol triggers any flare ups or interacts with her medication.
She agreed to this, but when the day came she left work at 6pm and only got home at 12am, I could immediately tell she was drunk so I asked her how much she drank. This time she was more honest with me (she was genuinely trying to improve in being honest, this wasnt just the alcohol making her more open) and said she had multiple vodkas, plus a few other drinks, as well as at least 6+ shots, or in her words "so many I can't remember, my friends were just handing them to me and I didnt refuse".
I don't know if I was being unreasonable, but to me getting home around 12am is late and drinking that much alcohol is a lot... which is the opposite of what we agreed on.. now I regret what happened next because she was fine, the alcohol didn't interact with her and she was okay even the next day, but I felt like she didn't listen to something so simple again which set me off on another blown out of proportion rant towards her
But this time it escalated and I blew up at her saying no more going out, she either doesn't go out anymore as she is clearly irresponsible with alcohol or we can break up, I regretted saying it in the moment as I knew immediately that sort of shit is toxic, but in the moment my judgment was clouded by my anger and I just wanted the best for her. I was thinking "but what if the alcohol did react poorly and you didnt listen to me?" I didnt want anything bad happening to her... I felt like I was being disrespected
This wasn't the first time I did something like this when I felt like I wasn't being listened to. Another example would be her playing online games with her friends, which was fine, I'm a gamer myself, but a lot of the time I felt like gaming for her was a higher priority than our relationship.
Multiple times we argued about it and I tried to tell her how I felt, but things didn't really change, which led to me blowing up and telling her she can't use the PS5 which I bought with my own money, I then went and deleted her account and games off of it as a punishment
None of this lasted very long though which is where I'm conflicted as to who I truly am and what my intentions are.. I never enjoyed doing any of this, I hated seeing her cry, immediately after this happened, every time I'd regret it. I'd try and remain stern though hoping it would bring a needed change to our relationship, maybe I'd finally be listened to.. I'd always give in in a few days as I couldn't stand acting like that and things would go back to normal. I'd say things like "PS5 I bought with my money" but that was just to get a reaction, I never tried to control her money, she had her own bank and I had mine, if she needed money I'd give her it every time she asked, I never refused or took anything rightfully hers away from her
Even with the going out with her work friends thing a few weeks ago.. she told me she was invited to go out again this Thursday and whilst at first I reminded her what I said would happen, she said fine she won't go out, within a few minutes I gave in and said "okay I'm not being serious, you can go out, but please please just don't drink too much".
She went out again, I had no problem with it, she got home a lot earlier and said she didn't drink alcohol, I could tell she didn't, but even if she was lying I believed her and said "thank you, I'm glad you had a great day". That's all I ever wanted.. there was no argument, no miscommunication, I was truly happy
I don't know if I'm an abuser trying to justify my actions or if deep down I'm a good person that does things that come across the wrong way like I try to make myself believe..
Now I'm writing this because she acted like everything was fine, we woke up yesterday like we normally do, watched some funny videos, she had plans to go out to see her friend at 12pm and she would stay there overnight. Fine by me, I'm slightly ill and didn't want to go out and we needed groceries so decided to order some before she left, she picked something she wanted, we watched more funny videos and as 12pm came round I hugged her, kissed her goodbye, did our little bye bye ritual, and she left..
Everything was fine, or so it seemed.. until I received a text about half an hour after she left saying she cannot do this anymore and is breaking up with me.. I tried talking to her but she said "I'll be back with my friends at 8pm to get some of my stuff and then I'll be gone forever" and blocked me. Now this sent me into a panic, this felt so unreal, I tried texting her family and friends to see if it was indeed real and to make sure nothing bad actually happened to her.. yes it was real
After talking to some of her friends she unblocked me and I tried talking to her, but she was just refusing it completely this time. She said we would talk in a few days.. 8pm came around, I packed some stuff she requested and put it outside her door for her to grab, she said she didnt want to see me so I respected it and stayed inside.. and now I'm here stuck in this situation
Normally during our arguments she only ever talks through text, if we are arguing in person she rarely ever says anything or voices any issues. This time she didn't want to talk through text either.
I honestly don't know how to feel. It's clear she has been talking to her friends, instead of me about all our issues, she's always screenshoted our arguments and "aired the dirty laundry" to her friends which I mentioned is a problem, but I never tried to control who she's friends and most of the time we made up and tried to move on...
I don't know if I have the right to feel hurt, my emotions are all over the place right now and this feels like betrayal. I feel like she has done a lot of things that were wrong, especially how she decided to end things by acting like everything is fine then leaving and breaking up over text instead of simply talking to me. I feel upset she would talk to her friends and let her know such personal details, but then again maybe it was justified because of my controlling actions.. even though she did a lot of these things way before I did anything controlling..
I feel like she is a good person but has painted a bad picture of me to her friends which has led her friends to influence her decisions based on a one sided story...
None of this makes much sense to me right now, I never tried to control her so I could have power over her, I never forced her to stay with me, regardless of all the things that happened between us I tried my best to improve and do things differently and see her for the good person she is. I made it clear if we ever break up I want to break up in a calm way, I just want to talk and communicate, I said how I believe most things don't last forever and that it's okay if things go wrong, but we need to at least try if we want to make this work..
I want to believe that everything I've done I did because I loved the person she is 90% of the time, I just wanted her to reciprocate and try to improve how she is during the other 10% as I've been trying to improve myself. I feel like I've sacrificed a lot for her but she hasn't done much for me.. no one is perfect and I had good hopes for both of us.
And now the past 5 years feel like a waste. I don't know why we couldnt avoid this mess.. mostly everything was great apart from our petty arguments
I now just wish I could go back in time and not argue, I wish I could've just let her be who she is and ignore all of those stupid little things because I was genuinely happy. I don't want us to split apart without trying one last time.. I know I can't force her and I don't want to, it just hurts so much seeing the potential and have it be destroyed just like that.
Is there any way to salvage this..

Hello there, I think the best way to make the highest money/day is through opening a business. I started with 1058bucks through austins dirty works and pizza shop, and then opened an appliance store with 150/day rent, 108/day employee wage, spent 800 on 20 juicers. Sold em all the same day and had 1200 bucks, did the same next day and again and kept increasing the inventory. I switched to electronics soon after. Screenshots are of my current state in the game. I have $624 and have made $12350 today from sales. wht do u guys think about it? 🤔

Tried posting this with lyric screenshots but ended up having to write everything out.
I keep seeing people saying Kendrick ignored Drake’s wife abuse allegations, etc. but he meticulously & consistently makes the case against them using all 4 diss tracks.

1. Kendrick predicts that Drake’s “red button” will be lies and manipulation about him and his family.
   
2. All 4 songs build a lawyer-like case about Drake being dishonest—Kendrick’s already laid out his own flaws in Mr. Morale and lives an otherwise boring life; Drake is a known liar (with examples)—therefore no one should believe it if Drake tries to lie on him.
   
3. Kendrick repeatedly lets us and Drake know that if he escalates and goes for the kill it will be because Drake went ahead and lied on his family—his warnings are also messages to the fans that if we see him go hard on Drake it’s due to Drake having told us those lies. The public existence of Meet the Grahams and Not Like Us are in themselves Kendrick telling us not to believe what Drake said about him.
   
4. “If you’re explaining, you’re losing” is a rule as a public figure. Also, Kendrick knows his wife shouldn’t have to give public statements on his behalf and his child shouldn’t have to take paternity tests. He calculated Drake’s plan and how to send us the message without having to repeat salacious propaganda or force his loved ones into the fray.
   
5. He explicitly tells Drake the audience will see through his lies and therefore he doesn’t even have to lower himself to address it.
   

These lines all support what I’m saying even if it’s not their only meaning:
”Put the wrong label on me; I’ma get ‘em dropped, ayy”
”I calculate you’re not as calculated, I can even predict your angle Fabricatin’ stories on the family front ‘cause you heard Mr. Morale A pathetic master manipulator, I can smell the tales on you now”
”Know you a master manipulator and habitual liar too But don’t tell no lie on me and I won’t tell truths ‘bout you”
“I think somebody lying Smell somebody lying I don’t see no fire”
”I’m sorry that I live a boring life; I love peace”
”But let me tell you some game ‘cause I can see you, my lil homie You playin’ dirty with propaganda, it blow up on ya You’re playin’ nerdy with Zack Bia and Twitter bots But your reality can’t hide behind WiFi Your little memes is losin’ steam, they figured you out The forced opinions is not convincin’, y’all need a new route”
”Don’t speak on the family, crodie It can get deep in the family, crodie Talk about me and my family, crodie? Someone gon’ bleed in your family, crodie”
”If you take it there, I’m taking it further Psst, that’s something you don’t wanna do”
”We ain’t gotta get personal, this a friendly fade, you should keep it that way I know some things about n——s that make Gunna Wunna look like a saint”
”Yeah, somebody’s lyin’ I can see the vibes on Ak Even he look compromised, let’s peel the layers back”
”The first time I shot a Drac’; the homie had told me to aim it this way I didn’t point down enough, today, I’ll show you I learned from those mistakes”
”But you fucked up the moment you called out my family’s name Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some decent people? Guess integrity is lost when the metaphors doesn’t reach you”
”Why believe you? You never gave us nothin’ to believe in ‘Cause you lied about [lists verifiable examples]… You lied about the only artist that can offer you some help”
”The audience is not dumb Shape the stories how you want, hey, Drake, they’re not slow”

US, Ca Hello community, I need some advice. I’m been living in an apartment complex for about a year in a half. In this time I’ve had what I would consider a lot of issues thus far. Here you go. 1. Roughly 2 months after moving in, I had a downstairs neighbor who would knock on the walls all day so hard my bed would shake (bed leans against the the wall). It felt like someone was kicking the wall with in. It continued for maybe another month until I decided to report to the office. I finally did and I was advised by office staff to go to the police. I chose to wait. A few days pass, it’s a Monday , holiday around 6pm and a man comes knocking on my door somewhat aggressively. When I open the door (which idk why I even did) , he tells me I need to keep it down. Mind you, I live alone and I was napping. I tell him this (again, so stupid of me I know) and he says “I don’t think so”, I then told him to report to the office and closed my door. Based on this I decided to report these to issues to police. About a week after I reported, the banging stopped and it hasn’t happened since. 2. I requested for maintenance because my toilet was making weird noises and kitchen sink was a little clogged (twice I threw dirty carpet water in the sink, my bad). So when submitting a maintenance request online you have two options in terms of entry to your home - allow entry or not allow entry. I opted for allowing entry because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be working from home that day. The day comes and it turns out I stayed home. While working I heard someone unlocking my door, my heart dropped and I ran to the door, in which I found the maintenance person opening my door. Quickly he states while pointing at a piece of paper “it says here I can come in”. I looked past it and thought maybe I didn’t hear him knocking, I showed where the issue was and he left (very rude interaction the whole time he is here by the way). I decided to look back at my cameras just out of curiosity because I hadn’t remembered hearing a knock. I look back at my cameras and it turns out he knocked once (not very loudly) and helped himself into my home EXACTLY 7 seconds after knocking. I thought to myself , why wouldn’t he give me more time to open the door? Right. I let it go. 3. It’s 7am , I was still asleep. I remember waking up because I heard my door being opened (specifically when the key was turning, it makes a really loud almost screech sound). Quickly I yelled “don’t come in!”. I put myself together and went to the door. It was the same maintenance person. He stated there was a flood in my bathroom. I quickly run into the bathroom and sure enough, the toilet is clogged and leaking. In the heat of the moment I look at this man straight the eye and tell him he needs to wait at least 60 seconds before he opens my door. He was clearly upset, looked around the bathroom, saw toilet paper rolls and said the issue was to do with too much toilet paper. Those rolls are not all from one day you know? I’m not sitting here throwing loads of toilet paper down my toilet. I used the plunger and mopped the floors and apparently that was good enough because he didn’t come back until later. The situation had really spooked me so I had left. So I look back at my cameras to see what happened. At 7am a different maintenance person (maintenance person 2) knocked on my door twice and both times I didn’t answer. He then calls someone on the phone. About roughly 20 minutes later the other maintenance person (initial maintenance person who helps himself to my home) shows up. He knocks quickly and opens my door not even 5 whole seconds after he knocks. And that’s when I hear it and essentially woke up. I filed a complaint with the office and their response was something like “we’ve told our maintenance people to allow more time before entry, and it’s because they get to their jobs quickly they may be working too fast” (if anyone is genuinely interested I can provide screenshots of the email messages). I did reiterate that it was not the maintenance TEAM but just one individual. In which they then stated they spoke with him individually as well. 4. Again, working from home and the CO2 alarm goes off. I call the office and I am told they will be submitting a ticket for this issue (Given that it was an alarm, I called in, I could have easily submitted a ticket myself but I figured this was an emergency so I called the office). She tells me she can’t give me an ETA because they have other tickets to get to as well. I call the fire non-emergency line just to make sure and I am told by the dispatcher the office staff’s response was unacceptable and they are sending over firefighters immediately. They show up, it turns out it was the battery. Okay. I call the office staff member to let her know what had happened and this lady has the audacity to tell me that she KNEW it was the battery which is why she didn’t escalate it. Mind you, information she never shared with me when i had called her frantically about an alarm going off in my home. 5. Last straw- this happened today and this is what I need feedback on .. or other resources. This morning I received an email from management, in which they stated they’ll be doing an inspection on all units next week. This complex is for BMR (below market rate) but honestly not even that much cheaper.. so it’s mandatory that they do this every year. In this notice, they mention we can no longer have doorbell cameras. I’ve been here for almost 2 years and never before has a doorbell camera been an issue. So why now?. So I asked, and I was told by management that we were never allowed to have doorbell cameras. Which I find odd because so many people have them so I know it’s something they missed and just recently noticed. I can’t help to think they are now enforcing this rule because I reported one of their own and the only reason they couldn’t get away from it was because I had that evidence. Also, I won’t be able to sleep the same without a camera, this is going to interfere with my everyday life more than they know. What can I do? And by enforcing this rule I mean they threatened to evict.