Mini flags for valentine tree

-if anyone is interested, I'm requesting suggestions for different concept theories, different ways tribes could connect - types of ages such as being 200 = 20 by human years or 2000 = 20 by human years. One can give a complete breakdown on your reasons or a shortened explanation. Although below is pieces of information for the Kitron species which is a roleplay species I'd like to finish for role-playing and a novel, I'm also on Instagram, which if anyone is interested, just asked for the @.-
[Kitron Physiology]
Kitrons are spiritual entities manifested into humanoid forms with distinct qualities such as; abnormal scents, markings or auras, these traits are a physical and metaphysical representation of a Kitron's branch from one of five major clans. Kitrons are inhabitants of their own dimension, lands comparable to ancient Earth with biomes of lethal dangers. Vast secrets, deep treasures and fatal threats lie within every location consisting of a diverse set of Kitrons and usefulness.
"A Kitron is born when nature whispers of a vow to a concept and they're usually made in a few other ways, vows to another will grant a collision of their natural affinities. When two Kitrons of the same subspecies mate, it can result in a stronger one of the same subspecies or a different variant with a potentially weaker affinity. Of course, the third way a Kitron can be born is when they're reincarnated via vows made by previous iterations to themselves which they've kept. This is binded through a mixture of a full 8 ounce cup of their blood, the amount of power from their affinity they wish to grant and approval from nature. This approval is shown in one way via whether the Kitron in question dies on the spot, within weeks or months regarded as an accident with their affinity. If accepted, which is usually not the case, the Kitron keeps this vow until they die and then reincarnate. They're transferred into a different subspecies with access to memories, skills and powers from previous lives. Although this is done varyingly throughout the five clans and can result in intense shunning, exile or malicious torture which leaves scars on their future self (s)."
"Each vow is a dark expression of their truest selves, a twisted visage to the desires one must embrace or tarnish throughout their life (s) whether they know their depths or not. Waves will continue to crash even if methodically chaotic, order is abound and strings along their sensual rhythm."
Cintrinion: Water - Willpower, Fear, Hope, Envy, Compassion.
"The enforcers of the Kitron species, a subspecies with a hard enough grip to make almost any other subspecies their bitch through blackmail, manipulation and power moves. The history of the Kitrons is old but for as long as anyone remembers, Cintrinons held power nearly incomprehensible."
Airentron: Air - Serenity (Peace), Belief, Fear, Gluttony, Temperance.
"A fluid assassin/monk individuals who've weaved their way to the top of the Kitron species as mainstream mentors, guides and leaders who embody their code. This code is as follows; thee who appreciates thyself may understand thee isn't a physical entity but a limitless spirit with boundless freedom."
Gaiatron: Earth - ValoCourage, Strength, Pleasure, Pride, Diligence.
"Essentially druids, dryads and nymphs with a love for archery and spears while mostly unbiased, certain factions of Gaitrons focus on eight Kitrons per three squads. The basis of this combative force follows renaissance and co-op missions in urban and densely populated areas."
Infernotron: Fire - Desire, Pain, Passion, Greed, Patience.
"Inferntrons are cannibals who've devoured most of their race, only a handful are left that haven't tried interbreeding with limited success rates."
Xiantrinion: Death/Art - Hatred, Madness, Anger, Trust, Humility.
"The psychotic sociopaths who's war mongrel styled lives tend to be of a more cult mini-society or occult military where artistry is the soul manifested and laws are void."
Side Note: The Xiantrinions through their soul manipulation can cancel an individual’s vow and essentially void nature’s approval to where the strongest of this clan can disrupt as well as potentially shatter their connection to their past lives resulting in the efforts of previous iterations being null.
[Primary Locations]
Deserts: Sand Kitrons, Flame Kitrons, Glass Kitrons, & Thermal Kitrons.
Jungle: Water Kitrons, Tree Kitrons & Insect Kitrons, & Flower Kitrons.
Forests: Mammal Kitrons, Wood Kitrons, Avian Kitrons & Reptilian Kitrons (Snakes, Crocodiles, Alligators, Turtles, & Tortoises)
Caves & Tunnels, (Underneath Forsests/Deserts, In Mountains & Underwater): Poison Kitrons, Rot Kitrons, Nether Kitrons, & Dream Kitrons.
Mountains: Air Kitrons, Smoke Kitrons, Snow Kitrons, & Lava Kitrons.
Seas: Sea Life Kitrons, Ice Kitrons, & Crystal Kitrons, Shadow Kitrons.
Swamps: Ash Kitron, Vine Kitrons, Mist/Fog Kitrons & Mud Kitrons.
Temples: Avian Kitrons, Ink Kitrons, Weaver Kitrons & Clay Kitrons
Boneyards: Soil Kitrons, Dust/Sand Kitrons, Aether Kitrons Vibration Kitrons.
Castles, Towers, & Dungeons: Anti Kitrons, Anima Kitrons, Atom Kitrons & Stone Kitrons.
[Main Clan to Tribe; Previously]
Gaitron - Sand, Glass, Tree, Insect, Flower, Mammal, Wood, Reptillian, Lava, Crystal, Vine, Clay, Soil, Dust/Sand & Stone.
Cintrinion - Water, Snow, Sea Life, Ice & Mist/Fog.
Infernotron - Flame, Smoke, Ash, Thermal & Atom.
Airentron - Dream, Air, Avian, Aether & Vibration.
Xiantrinion - Poison, Rot, Nether, Shadow, Ink, Weaver, Anti & Anima.
[Currently]
Cintrinion - Water, Snow, Sea Life, Ice, Mist/Fog, Blood, Bubble & Viscosity.
Infernotron - Flame, Smoke, Ash, Thermal Atom, Combust, Electricity & Light.
Airentron - Dream, Air, Avian, Aether, Vibration, Illusion, Gas & Pressure.
Xiantrinion - Poison, Rot, Nether, Shadow, Ink, Weaver, Anti, Anima, Bone & Hex.
[statistics currently]
{Mana on average}
Mana Pool: 5000 magicules (birth.)
Mana Pool: 10,000 manicures (50 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 15,000 magicules (100 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 18,000 magicules (180 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 21,000 magicules (240 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 25,0000 magicules ( 300 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 50,000 magicules ( 500 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 80,000 magicules ( 800 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 120,000 magicules (1,000 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 155,500 magicules (1,200 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 180,000 magicules (1,500 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 200,000 magicules (1,800 years of training.)
Mana Pool: 240,000 magiules ( 2,000 years of training.)

Hello Hello, my buds, my palls, my friends. I have the first chapter for this week ready for you all. I have three more chapters I am cleaning up and will be getting them out as soon as possible. We are nearing the end of book Two- I hope you all are enjoying as we go.
Lets get this book
-----
Kyroll and Martinez’s day flew by, which was surprising considering they never saw a single stag from their first hide or a half-dozen others they moved to and set up throughout the day.
There were some fleeting glimpses of other smaller creatures, but none they were after or that Kyroll was willing to shoot. That was a shame. One of the animals they spotted was called a Eurila; it was a fat-looking bird that reminded Martinez of a chicken, other than its bright blue and green plumage and the fact that it had four wings.
Kyroll insisted they were in their mating season and should not be shot for the time being. If there were any stags around, the rifle fire would send them running. Martinez had no frame of reference regarding the mating season part but could understand the later warning.
In the right conditions, rifles like theirs could be heard firing for dozens of kilometers, so it was better not to risk it.
By the time they returned to camp, they were under the light of half a dozen moons orbiting Renoral. The hike down from the hills was deathly silent. Neither spoke, neither had fully grappled with their strife.
Martinez still could not fully trust Kyroll. Too many things raised red flags over the trip: The duffle bag, his treatment of Lysa, and the forced, almost plastic way he acted. None of it added up.
Kyroll knew what he had to do, and with them only being out here for one more day, he had to decide what he was going to do. Could he trust Martinez to keep his mouth shut? Was the risk worth it? How would he explain this to Nelya and Lysa? Could he even return to them after ensuring Martinez’s knowledge dies with him?
As Martinez lit a fire, Kyroll secluded himself inside his tent, leaving the Human alone. While Kyroll dug inside the tent, likely changing his socks and underwear, Martinez poked and prodded at the fire.
He looked at the lake and wondered why those beautiful little insects had not returned. It was only then that Martinez remembered Kyroll had not retrieved that metallic orb. Was that thing some kind of insect repellent?
If it was, that was disappointing; having those cherubic orbs dancing on the glass-like lake would be a pleasant addition to the area and add a little life to the otherwise overbearing darkness just beyond the flickering firelight.
After Martinez had sat stationary long enough for the cold fingers of winter to crawl into his boots and claw away any warmth, Kyroll joined him at the fire. He groaned loudly, his knees crackling louder than the firewood as he lowered himself into his chair.
“Here,” Kyroll said, extending his hand across the fire, clutching a bottle of a clear liquid. “It's some homemade liquor.”
“You are offering me a drink?” Martinez raised a brow
“Well, yeah, Vuric. It’s not like I stuttered,” Kyroll shook the bottle.
Martinez could not help but feel like he was being set up here. Kyroll had pulled that bottle out of the duffle bag that other Aviex had passed off to him, and Martinez had yet to get a good look at its contents. For all he knew, that bottle was filled with acid.
“Sure, but after you. It’s your bottle; you should get the first drink,” Martinez said, insinuating some abstract tradition.
With a slight narrowing of his two remaining stacked eyes, Kyroll glared suspiciously at Martinez. After analyzing Martinez, Kyroll shrugged, uncapped the bottle, and took a swig deep enough that it made Martinez’s spine shiver, imagining the burning liquid sliding down his throat. But Kyroll simply inhaled sharply before exhaling and reextending the offer.
“See no poison,” Kyroll coughed.
“I never said it was,” Martinez argued, grabbing the bottle.
“You didn’t have to. Your face said it all,” Kyroll shrugged. I’ve done that before, but I could not get away with it here—it would be too obvious, and Nelya would kill me.”
“Don’t forget about Lysa. She would peal your dick like a banana,” Martinez quipped.
“Banana?” Kyroll replied, tilting his head in confusion.
“It’s a fruit,” Martinez replied, gasping after siping the burning liquid.
The liquor was nothing special, but it was nothing weak by any means. It was more potent than vodka and just as tasteless. God, how do people drink like this?
“Do you have anything to mix it with?” Martinez asked, passing the bottle back.
“Nope. What, are you too good to drink it straight?” Kyroll challenged before taking another sip, but this time, it was far less exaggerated. “Just enjoy that I’m sharing this with you at all. Normally I would have just kept it all to myself.”
“I never said that but just drinking straight booze is usually not my style, plus I have had some issues in the past,” Martinez admitted.
Raising an eyebrow, Kyroll keenly plucked apart what he knew about the Human and what he understood about warriors who fell to the drink. He was not confident about what Martinez meant by issues, but the insinuation was obvious.
Seeing Kyroll's mocking look, Martinez took another steadying drink. “Shut up, like you are perfect.”
Martinez could have used many words to describe the next half hour: unexpected, strange, perhaps out of the blue, but in all honesty, the most poignant descriptor was surreal.
Kyroll was not acting like the man that Martinez had come to know over the last three days. The old Aviex was actually pleasant company.
Kyroll regaled Martinez with tales of when he was just a young lad and first joined the military—his time in boot camp, advanced infantry training, and all the way up until he joined Aviex special forces. At that point, the conversation quickly drifted for reasons Martinez understood—most people in that line of work are tight-lipped.
Martinez had to admit the Human and Aveix training experiences were comedically similar: screaming drill instructors running endless upon endless drills and tests, weeks of never-ending marches, and non-stop corrections of the slightest error. Apparently, looks weren't the only thing that the two species had in common.
As they continued to drink and relax with one another, the moons rose higher into the sky. Martinez started to believe that Kyroll had finally broken down and relented, having finally admitted to himself that unless something soiled Martinez and Lysa’s relationship, the Human was here to stay.
"So tell me, what exactly do you feel about my daughter?" Kyroll questioned, steepling his fingers and leaning forward. "Considering the conviction you've shown, I'm a little curious.
That question was a shift in the left field, which Martinez never expected. Kyroll giving Martinez the dad talk right after telling him about how some of his soldiers once got lost while out in liberty and ended up drunk and naked in another city was a bit of tonal whiplash.
Martinez, of course, had heard about fathers interrogating a potential suitor while cleaning a weapon. It was a staple in hollow flicks. Some of the Marines Martinez knew had done just that with their daughters.
But given Lysa and Kyroll's distance, Martinez assumed they would have forgone this almost cliche conversation.
Casting his gaze towards the serine lake Martinez pondered the idea for a moment, not because he was unsure of his answers but because he needed to gather the words and string them together in a way that would not piss off any father.
No father wants to hear: oh, your daughter has a nice ass, I want to eat chocolate off her abs, or how watching her break alien bones while in a fight turns him unreasonably on. Martinez might be dense, but he was nowhere near that stupid.
" I think Ruh’ha is one of the gentlest, most caring people I know. Yeah, her sense of humor can be cruel at times, but she never crossed any lines with anyone," Martinez started but paused to gauge Kyroll’s reaction.
For his credit, Kroll kept his cards close to his chest, not flinching or looking as though he was dissatisfied with the conversation piece. He was stalwart as Martinez expressed his feelings for Lysa.
Martinez sighed and scratched the back of his head slightly; this next portion was just a little bit awkward, even though Kyroll undoubtedly would understand. "She is amazing, if I was going to put it simply. She's helped me through some rough spots at work and some personal problems. She was right there with me through it all, pressing me on. And since we started staying over together more often, I have had way less nightmares, which is something I enjoy."
As Martinez spoke that time around, he was intently watching Kyroll to see if you could spot any indications of a reaction to him mentioning Lysa or their intimacy. Through the dancing shadows and Kyroll’s hands concealing most of his face, it was difficult to spot, but there was a twinge, a slight flicker, and an unmistakable change in his eyes.
Guilt replaced his usual stoney visage and lingered there for several seconds. Martinez continued to speak and compliment Liza in every way he possibly could.
Kyroll's shoulders slumped and sagged further and further with each compliment Martinez gave Lysa, praising how wondrous and magnanimous she was. It was like each word weighed down on him.
After Martinez had finished, they sat there in silence, Kyroll watching the fire crackle and pop, flames dancing with sparks fluttering away, joining the cacophony of starlight above. In contrast, Martinez wondered if Kyroll was not a cold-blooded killer.
There were a few Marines Martinez knew who had changed after the strife and tribulation the forges of combat we're—.Perhaps Carol was the same.
"Hey, are you all right?" Martinez asks, picking up on Kyroll's look of woe and clearly pondering his family. “You seem different whenever I mention Liza or Nelia. Is something on your mind?"
Kyroll bit his tongue. His spine straightened, and his muscles flexed like he was getting ambushed in some dark alley on Heavalun.
Martinez's acknowledgment meant one of two things to the old veteran: that he was dangerously sharp for someone who was just some knuckle dragger and that Kyroll was getting sloppy.
Maybe the years away from work caused him to be out of practice and unable to keep himself composed. The booze might also have something to do with it, but he doubted it was that.
This Vorick, something about Martinez dug under his skin, stabbed into him like a knife, and fileted him open, leaving his emotions and thoughts to bear. It was like the Human could read his mind.
A sudden reflection, a thought, surged forth in Kyrolls mind: the whispers of someone he had not thought of in nearly a decade resurrected from the deepest point of his mind— the only other human he had ever known.
Emil.
He recalled Emil's rants and raves about his desire to be better, to be an outstanding friend, ally, husband, and warrior all at once. Back when he was subjected to those talks, Kyroll thought it was nothing more than the rantings of a madman, someone I didn't know what they were genuinely asking for and had no semblance of reality.
Emil was ignorant and didn't see the darkness that awaited him while on the team. The Human's optimism would be crushed after a deployment or two.
But he never did change—quite the opposite. Emil changed the team. His thoughts infected the team Kyroll had spent years cultivating, selecting, and preparing for the rigors of what was to be expected of anyone working for the Avex government.
One by one, the team all resigned, having learned from Emil there was more to life than never Ending combat and snuffing the lives of those who had learned too much.
Even Kyroll fell for Emil's advice to support Nelya and the soon-to-be-born Lysa. Back then, he did it without question; all it took was telling Kyroll to be with his wife, to love life and what he had.
Why are humans like this? What was going on? Kyroll couldn't put it into words or dredge up what was crawling through his mind and digging at the chipped, cold heart in his chest.
Fucking Humans, they just did something to him. They dig into him, crawl across his skin, and change him. No, they change everyone around them.
" I'm alright," Kyrol said, hoping to end this conversation and these strange effects. But just like Emil, Martinez was relentless.
"Bulshit, it's obvious something is bouncing around in you're great. Just say it," Martinez insisted.
They held each other's stares, neither willing to be the first to break contact. Each was stubborn and bull-headed. But as Kyroll looked at Martinez through the flickering fire, he didn't see his daughter's ruh’ha; he saw Emil smiling and jokingly telling him to calm down and relax, assuring him that no one wanted to hurt him.
"Fine," Kyroll growled, disturbed by Martinez’s insistence and eerie similarities to a man he knows is long dead. It was funny, almost as if Emil was getting one final laugh out of his stubborn friend's strife, just through this other human. " It annoys me that you and Lysa have what Nelly and I couldn't when we were young."
"Wait, hold the fuck up. You, Kyroll, great warrior, special forces commander, and spy, are jealous of your daughter?" Martinez said exaggeratedly, emphasizing the magnitude of titles Kyroll once held by gesturing high to heaven.
Kyroll grumbled and tried to think of what to respond with, but Martinez was right; he was jealous. He was almost vindictive that Martinez was there for his little Huntress in a way he never could be or could have been. Between work trying to protect her and how shaded his past was, it was never an option. He never could have been forward with her, unlike this Vorick.
“Come on, brother, you should be happy for Lyza. She's healthy and has plenty of friends. We agree to go to a fertility clinic to get some groundwork for us moving forward together. How would you be jealous of any of that? That's perfectly healthy and normal?" Martinez questioned, leaning back and genuinely not understanding why Gyro would ever feel that way.
Perhaps it was because Martinez had only ever known being in a relationship with Lyza, but still, this didn't seem like something one should be jealous of, especially of one's daughter.
Kyroll gripped his pants hard, trying to stay composed. At this point, he was treating Martinez as if it was just Emil on the other side of that fire, calling him on his bullshit and telling him why he was lying to himself and everyone around him to keep himself in his little Happy Box.
"Because she's my baby girl My Little Huntress," Kyroll hissed through his teeth.
Martinez responded just as Emil would have in the past. "That doesn't change anything. The fact that you still think of her as your daughter and she wants you to be her father will help you be better with Lysa. All you have to do is try with her."
Stars damned it, why are humans so damned stubborn, and why did they always seem to have an answer for everything.
" you just don't get it!" Kyroll snapped, standing and pointing at Martinez vindictively, trying to shut out the Human's prodding.
The sudden outburst surprised Martinez, causing him to flinch and raise his hands, expecting Kyroll to jump over the flames and attempt to flog him; neither moved for several seconds, both gauging the other's reaction.
“I'm going to go take a piss," Kyroll said, turning around to escape this scenario.
Before Martinez could respond, Kyroll made it near his tent and paused, looking at the closed flap and then back at Martinez. He opened his mouth about to speak but shut it, shaking his head before vanishing into the overwhelming gloom, leaving Martinez alone.
That pause and hesitation distracted Martinez from the perceived propinquity he and his would-be father-in-law were building, thrusting him back to the reality that the older Aviex despises him.
Kyroll left Martinez alone, and his duffel bag was in that tent. It was time to settle things.
—-
"You mother fucker, get out of my head," Kyroll groaned, slamming his head against a tree hard enough that blood oozed from an open wound, getting deeper with each strike.
Emil and Martinez, why did they both have to make everything so complicated? Normally, this would be easy.
Get the target to trust you enough to get close, drug them up, then dump them somewhere or orchestrate some other method for their demise. It was no different than getting Recaf.
"But why does deciding to kill this one have to be difficult," the old Aviex muttered, leaning his head against the tree.
Kyroll thought back to all he had done, the people he had killed, the missions undertaken, and the names he had erased from history. They were all easy: a quick pull of a trigger, stepping off VTOL, or a few black lines on paper.
Kyroll couldn't see him doing that to Martinez. Even if he erased everything about the human, Lysa and Nelly would know, and they would have to be dealt with.
No matter how he tried to justify or logic the issues away, Kyroll simply couldn't figure out how he could kill Martinez.
He could try to lie to himself that keeping the Aviex history under wraps is for the greater good of the universe. That didn't work, so what if someone else knew he knew, and Nelly knew, and neither of them were supposed to?
Martinez was trying to take away his dear little daughter. He was hardly a father to Lysa, but without Martinez, there was no chance he could ever be a father to her. Everything Martinez says is true; without Martinez's approval, Lysa disappears.
Kyroll slumped into the snow, lying on his back, and looked up at the starry night sky, sighing. "Dammit, Emil, even from the grave, you're still right."
Kyroll lay there until he eventually surrendered to the reality that he had to be better for the sake of Nelly and Lysa. He thought back to one of the last things Emil tried to teach him: You can't fight and kill everything. Too many things need acceptance, care, and nurturing in love.
"Fine, Emil, you goddamn win," Kyroll grumbled.
He would ensure Lysa, Nelya, and Martinez were happy and safe. Slinking back to his feet, he started stepping back towards camp, wanting to start again and truly make this strange life work.
He would start out with Martinez by returning to camp and extending a true gamut of peace. Kyroll just had to make sure Martinez could never see what was in that duffle bag.
------ So what did you all think? next time we have the confrontation beginning and the reveal of everything Kyroll had been planning. please don't forget to updoot, and comment. I will see you all in the comments.
your bud
-Pirate
------
Book One Start
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Book Two Start
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Selling my account and looking to get a fair trade out of it. Let me know what you think the following is worth.
Game Packages:
PACKAGE - UEE EXPLORATION PACK - LTI

• Terrapin (LTI)
• Carrack (LTI)
• Dragonfly Black (LTI)
• VFG Industrial Hangar

PACKAGE - AMD NEVER SETTLE SPACE EDITION

• CCU'ed to 315P Explorer (2 month insurance)

PACKAGE - AMD NEVER SETTLE SPACE EDITION

• CCU'ed to 325A Fighter (2 month insurance)

REAR ADMIRAL - LTI

• Constellation Phoenix (LTI)
• Revel & York Hangar
• Various real world items that CIG hasn't delivered

Standalone Ships:
STANDALONE SHIP - DRAKE DRAGONFLY RIDE TOGETHER TWO-PACK

• Dragonfly Yellowjacket (LTI)
• Dragonfly Black (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to Freelancer MIS (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to 350R Racer (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to Cutlass Blue (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to M50 Racer (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to Aurora LN (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to Mustang Delta (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - KRUGER P-72 ARCHIMEDES - LTI

• CCU'ed to Gladius (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - AEGIS SABRE - LTI

• Aegis Sabre (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - AEGIS RETALIATOR BASE

• Retaliator Bomber (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - RELIANT MINI HAULER - LTI

• CCU'ed to Khartu-al (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - HULL A - LTI

• CCU'ed to Avenger Stalker (LTI)

STANDALONE SHIP - HULL B - LTI

• CCU'ed to Banu Merchantman

STANDALONE SHIP - HULL A - LTI

• CCU'ed to F7C-M Super Hornet Mk I

STANDALONE SHIP - AEGIS VANGUARD - LTI

• Vanguard Warden (LTI)

Upgrades:
SHIP UPGRADES - F7A MILITARY HORNET UPGRADE

• Contains F7A Military Hornet Upgrade (Mk I)

SHIP UPGRADES - RELIANT MINI HAULER TO RELIANT SKIRMISHER UPGRADE

• Reliant Mini Hauler to Reliant Skirmisher Upgrade

SHIP UPGRADES - P72 ARCHIMEDES TO AURORA LX UPGRADE

• Contains: P72 Archimedes to Aurora LX Upgrade

SHIP UPGRADES - WARDEN TO SENTINEL UPGRADE

• Warden to Sentinel Upgrade

SHIP UPGRADES - WARDEN TO HARBINGER UPGRADE

• Warden to Harbinger Upgrade

Add-Ons:

• ADD-ONS - RETALIATOR DROPSHIP MODULE
• ADD-ONS - RETALIATOR CARGO FRONT MODULE
• ADD-ONS - RETALIATOR LIVING FRONT MODULE
• ADD-ONS - RETALIATOR LIVING REAR MODULE
• ADD-ONS - RETALIATOR LIVING REAR MODULE
• ADD-ONS - WARDEN BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KIT
• ADD-ONS - HARBINGER BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KIT
• ADD-ONS - SENTINEL BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KIT

Hangar Decorations:

• ADD-ONS - CITIZENCON 2947 TROPHY
• GAMESCOM 2946 SUBSCRIBER TROPHY
• ADD-ONS - GAMESCOM 2946 TROPHY
• * GAMESCOM 2945 Subscriber Hangar Trophy
• DECORATIONS - GAMESCOM 2945 TROPHY
• DECORATIONS - CITIZENCON 2945 POSTER
• DECORATIONS - COT
• DECORATIONS - THE LAMP
• DECORATIONS - RSI ZEUS MODEL
• DECORATIONS - WORKBENCH
• BUGGIES - GREYCAT PTV
• BUGGIES - GREYCAT PTV (I bought two)
• GREYCAT PTV SKINS - CHERRY
• GREYCAT PTV SKINS - GUNMETAL
• POSTERS - KOLN 2945 POSTER
• POSTERS - "WE WANT YOU" POSTER
• POSTERS - "BE A HERO" POSTER
• POSTERS - MURRAY CUP POSTER
• POSTERS - RSI CONSTELLATION POSTER
• POSTERS - GLADIATOR POSTER
• POSTERS - FREELANCER POSTER
• POSTERS - CUTLASS POSTER
• POSTERS - RETALIATOR POSTER
• POSTERS - HORNET POSTER
• POSTERS - 350R POSTER
• FISHTANK - OSHI
• FISHTANK - THORSHU GREY
• FISHTANK - VINDEL
• FISHTANK - RIBBON FISH (VARIO VITTAS)
• FISHTANK - FISHTANK MARK I

Weapon:

• TEMPEST PROXIMITY TL CS MISSILE - TEMPEST II (X10)
• GIMBAL MOUNTS - FLASHFIRE VARIPUCK S3 GIMBAL MOUNT
• GIMBAL MOUNTS - FLASHFIRE VARIPUCK S2 GIMBAL MOUNT
• GIMBAL MOUNTS - FLASHFIRE VARIPUCK S2 GIMBAL MOUNT (I bought two)
• CF-SERIES LASER REPEATER - CF-227 PANTHER REPEATER
• CF-SERIES LASER REPEATER - CF-117 BADGER REPEATER
• CF-SERIES LASER REPEATERS - CF-117 BADGER REPEATER (I bought two)
• OMNISKY SERIES LASER CANNON - OMNISKY III (I don't remember why this one is named different)
• OMNISKY SERIES LASER CANNONS - OMNISKY III
• OMNISKY SERIES LASER CANNONS - OMNISKY III

Subscriber Flair (many of these have 2 because I was a subscriber for a while):

• BIG BENNYS VENDING MACHINE
• “TEARS OF FIRE” PAINTING
• “TEARS OF FIRE” PAINTING
• REVENANT TREE
• REVENANT TREE
• TAKUETSU GOLDEN HERALD MODEL
• TAKUETSU GOLDEN HERALD MODEL
• OPERA MUSHROOM
• OPERA MUSHROOM
• TAKUETSU MUSTANG GAMMA MODEL
• TAKUETSU MUSTANG GAMMA MODEL
• CONNER’S BEARD MOSS
• CONNER’S BEARD MOSS
• TAKUETSU MINI RELIANT KORE MODEL
• SPACE PLANT- OPHELIA VINE
• TAKUETSU MINI AEGIS SABRE
• SPACE CACTUS - KAVISCHE
• SPACE CACTUS - KAVISCHE
• TAKUETSU MINI HORNET F7C-R MODEL
• TAKUETSU MINI HORNET F7C-R MODEL
• SPACE FLOWER - EMPEROR BLOSSOM
• SPACE FLOWER - EMPEROR BLOSSOM
• TAKUETSU SERIES MUSTANG BETA
• THE PUGLISI COLLECTION: AV8 BATTLE ARMOR REPLICA
• TAKUETSU SERIES AURORA LN
• PUGLISI COLLECTION: KAMPOSI MAGNUS SKULL
• TAKUETSU 350R SHIP MODEL
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• PUGLISI COLLECTION VANDUUL SCYTHE ARMOR
• TAKUETSU AEGIS AVENGER MODEL
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• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - SPACE GLOBES
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - LOCKER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - UEE CALENDAR
• TAKUETSU KHARTU-AL MODEL
• PATRON OF THE ARTS AWARD
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - TAKUETSU RSI CONSTELLATION PHOENIX 2944
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - TAKUETSU MISC FREELANCER MIS 2944
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - STELLARSONIC JUKEBOX
• TAKUETSU AEGIS GLADIUS
• SPACE GLOBES
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• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - MR. REFINEMENT’S CABINET OF RARE & EXQUISITE SPIRITS
• SUBSCRIBERS EXCLUSIVE - TAKUETSU ORIGIN M50
• TAKUETSU MUSTANG DELTA MODEL
• DECEMBER 2014 BACKER REWARD

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• 1 YEAR IMPERATOR REWARD - 20% COUPON
• 1 YEAR CENTURION REWARD - 10% COUPON
• 62,000 UEC
• 7 recruits in the referral program
• YEAR OF THE HORSE ENVELOPE
• YEAR OF THE RAM ENVELOPE
• YEAR OF THE MONKEY ENVELOPE
• BEST IN SHOW '52
• CARRACK - BEST IN SHOW 2952 RED ALERT PAINT
• CARRACK BEST IN SHOW '52 CHALLENGE COIN
• C8 PISCES - BEST IN SHOW 2952 RED ALERT PAINT
• PISCES BEST IN SHOW '52 CHALLENGE COIN
• CITIZENCON 2952 DIGITAL GOODIES
• DIGITAL GOODIES PACK - LUMINALIA DAY 01
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• CATABY BACKPACK MPUV-1C EDITION
• CITIZENCON 2951 DIGITAL GOODIES
• INVICTUS LAUNCH WEEK 2951 LEATHER JACKET
• 2950 BIS CARRACK HELMET
• 2950 BIS ANVIL CARRACK GEAR PACK
• 300 MILLION REWARD
• STAR CITIZEN BIRTHDAY GOODIES PACK
• DRAKE CATERPILLAR STATUE
• NAUTILUS MINE FLAIR
• 200 MILLION COMMEMORATIVE COIN
• VIP GRAND ADMIRAL
• VIP HIGH ADMIRAL
• ADD-ONS - CITIZENCON DIGITAL GOODIES PACK
• WATCH THE SKIES TIP LINE REWARD
• EPOCH SOCIETY T-SHIRT
• AEON CLUB T-SHIRT
• ADD-ONS - KASTAK ARMS CUSTODIAN SMG - CITIZENCON 2947 EDITION
• ADD-ONS - KASTAK ARMS CUSTODIAN SMG - CITIZENCON 2947 EDITION
• 100M REWARD - 2944 WAR BOND
• 56M REWARD - J-SPAN CRYO-STAR COOLER
• 55M REWARD - PREACHER ARMAMENT INQUISITION XXII GATLING
• 52M REWARD - BB-12 MANNED MANEUVERING UNIT
• GIMBALS AND GUNS
• BADGER AND BADGES
• ADD-ONS - SXSW 2015 SKIN
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• ADD-ONS - PAX AUSTRALIA 2944 TROPHY

Disclaimer
[Blackmarket] listings require the following disclaimer in the post:
(1) Account sales are in clear violation of RSI's terms of service, and are at high risk of being terminated at any time
(2) The original owner will remain the legal owner of the account except in specific jurisdiction where local laws that supercede RSI's EULA allows for account transfers
(3) Seller understands that some personal information may be permanently associated with their account and consent to this information transferring with the account with this and any future transaction involving this account.
I (Fuzzy0g1c) promise to abandon my account, agreeing to never attempt to recover said account via RSI or any other means. As per RSI's EULA all accounts remain the original account owner and RSI's sole property
(1) I am "selling" the right to be added as an "Authorized User" to my account, which is allowed as per RSI's 2016 Terms of Service.
(2) I will remain the original owner only in the event that official contact is required from the parent company (CIG).
(3) I understand that my personal information may be permanently retained in the address and billing sections.
I agree to the above clauses and will not attempt to access, recover or tamper with the said account unless it is requested by the Authorized User.

Afternoon, I searched for a while to try find this question being asked but no luck.
​
I have some friends that struggle to download a different launcher and get the full mod packs and cant troubleshoot anything themselves if one mod goes wrong.
So im trying to simplify it.. With Gportal or any server company, Can you add mods or plugins that are simple quality to life changes. Then when the players load up the server from the Minecraft official launcher it makes them play on the same mods/plugins ?
an example would be " Tree Harvester - This mod is part of The Vanilla Experience. " a mini Map, a zoom feature

I've got roughly $2,500 to invest in lighting gear. I mostly work on my own short films and occasionally DP for friends/acquaintances projects. I've "gotten by" with the few lights I own, but I want to be start working with larger lights and level up my cinematography .
Here's what I currently own:
Lights:

• Kinotecnik Practilite 802 Bi-Color w/Barndoors and locking V-Mount Plate
• LitraPro LP1200 Bi-Color Light w/Barndoors
• Aputure LS 60X 60W Bi-Color
• Aputure Amaran 60X 60W Bi-Color
• Aputure Amaran MC RGBWW
• Aputure Amaran AL-M9

Light Modifiers:

• Aputure LS 60 Softbox for Aputure LS 60D & Aputure LS 60X
• Aputure Light Dome Mini III (22.8")
• 1 C-Stand
• 2 Generic light stands
• Assorted flags

Here's what's in my cart at the moment:

• Aputure LS 600d
• Aputure F10 Fresnel Lens
• Aputure F10 Barndoors
• Aputure Amaran 300c
• Newer 79”/2m Stainless Steel Lightstand [Spring Cushioned] x2
• Lapgood 100% Stainless Steel Heavy Duty C Stand with Boom Arm - Max Height 10.8ft

I've done tons of research on the 600d and 300c and I'm fairly confident adding those to my kit will cover most of my small to mid-sized project needs, but does anyone have any suggestions/recommendations before I click 'purchase'?

https://www.halowaypoint.com/news/banished-honor-operation-launch
Header Image ^[Imgur]
Operation: Banished Honor is live!
Halo Infinite's latest content update brings with it new features, new customization rewards in a free Operation Pass, sandbox tuning adjustments, additional Forge palettes, and more.
Let’s get you the full debrief on all the new content.

CONTENTS

• OVERVIEW
• OPERATION: BANISHED HONOR
• THE EXCHANGE
• FORGE UPDATES
• SANDBOX UPDATES
• BTB HEAVIES
• WAYPOINT CHRONICLE
• STILL TO COME
• SHOP
• HALO SUPPORT
• PRESS KIT

OVERVIEW

• UPDATE OVERVIEW: Catch up on our latest community livestream for an overview of what’s coming when Operation: Banished Honor arrives.
• THE EXCHANGE: Take a deep dive into the new shop where customization items from the past return and can be purchased with free Spartan Points.
• SANDBOX OVERVIEW: Get the full debrief on the latest sandbox balance changes and mode updates coming in Operation: Banished Honor.
• FORGE OVERVIEW: Explore the new Flood and Alien World-themed object palettes coming to Forge, alongside additional updates.
• CUSTOMIZATION: Feast your eyes on the Banished-themed armor coming with a free new Operation Pass and further customization updates.

OPERATION: BANISHED HONOR

Halo Infinite image of five Spartans in a V formation wearing armor coming in the upcoming Operations ^[Imgur]
Join the Banished. In Operation: Banished Honor, liberate yourself through the teachings of Atriox and claim your spoils.
Operation: Banished Honor runs from April 30 to June 4 and features a free Operation Pass containing 20 tiers of customization rewards and Spartan Points.
Progress your Operation Pass with Match XP and Challenge completions, and unlock new armor, a new visor and emblem, and Spartan Points to spend in the Exchange.
Halo Infinite image of the Banished Honor Operation Pass's Champion armor set surrounded by Spartan Point coins ^[Imgur]
Additional premium options for the Operation Pass include:

• 500 credits will make the Operation Pass durable (it will not expire), offers bonus XP during the Operation’s live window, an extra Challenge slot while your pass is equipped, and comes with an exclusive customization item.
• 2,000 credits instantly unlocks all 20 tiers of the Operation Pass at purchase and includes the exclusive bonus customization item.

Upgrade to the Premium Pass to obtain the Fuego Flame armor coating and strike fear into the hearts of all who would oppose you.
Halo Infinite image of the Banished Honor Premium Pass switcher ^[Imgur]

• NOTE: The Banished Honor trailer and promotional images depict the Datacore Administrator visor as a reward in this Operation Pass. The Datacore Administrator visor is part of the Facing Firewall bundle while the free Banished Honor Operation Pass includes the Essence Decompilation visor.

Halo Infinite image of the Essence Decompilation visor from the Banished Honor Operation Pass ^[Imgur]

THE EXCHANGE

Halo Infinite screenshot of The Exchange ^[Imgur]
Missed out on previous customization rewards? Enter The Exchange.
The Exchange is a brand-new shop rotating each Operation which contains free content from the past that players may have originally missed out on (along with some new items as well). This includes rewards that were originally tied to Halo Infinite's free Event tracks, special limited-time login bonuses, past Twitch drops, and partner promotional items.
Items are purchased with Spartan Points—a free currency that is earned through three primary ways:

• Completing your first Daily Challenge will award 250 SP (rather than XP).
• Completing the weekly Ultimate Reward will award 1,000 SP (instead of a misc. customization item).
• Operations Reward tracks will offer up to 15,000 SP (replacing misc. other rewards).

Halo Infinite screenshot of The Exchange ^[Imgur]
When The Exchange refreshes, items will not be "going away," removing the chance to get them—they will still be available to purchase with Spartan Points through the customization menus (much like bundles once they have rotated out of the Shop).
We’ll be keeping a close eye on community feedback and in-game metrics, so please share your thoughts once you have a chance to try out the Exchange!
For a more detailed breakdown, head over to our Exchange Overview blog.

FORGE UPDATES

This Halo Infinite update brings with it some new toys for you to play with in Forge.
NEW FORGE PALETTE: FLOOD
New Forge Palette: Flood
Halo Infinite screenshot of Oasis with Flood objects over it ^[Imgur]
The parasite has come to Forge...
The Flood palette contains over 100 new objects that will help Forgers to transform their maps into festering hives, enabling players to recreate places from the past (this’ll pair quite nicely with the Covenant object palette for, say, a Flood-infested High Charity) or wholly new locations that have become twisted blightlands.
NEW FORGE PALETTE: ALIEN WORLD
New Forge Palette: Alien World
Halo Infinite image of Alien World palette items for Forge ^[Imgur]
The galaxy is a vast place filled with worlds of alien wonder and beauty.
With the Alien World object palette, composed of over 150 new objects, players can enhance the visual diversity of their maps’ environments with distinctly alien-themed plants, trees, flowers, and even ancient stone structures.
ADDITIONAL UPDATES
Alongside these new palettes, Forge has also received some additional updates to enhance scripting and object options.
For a closer look at these additional elements, check out our Forge blog.

SANDBOX UPDATES

Halo Infinite screenshot of a Spartan after firing an overcharged Plasma Pistol ^[Imgur]
Halo Infinite's sandbox is getting some tuning updates based on community feedback and overall player usage.
PLASMA PISTOL
The return of the king! We've heard your feedback, desiring the Plasma Pistol's ability to temporarily EMP ( “Oh, you mean an emp!” ) vehicles with its overcharged bolt, and we are giving you just that.

• Restored EMP functionality on vehicles.
  MK50 SIDEKICK
  

We know the rapid-fire functionality feels great and is core to the identity of the weapon, but we wanted to address player feedback on the time-to-kill when on the receiving end of a Sidekick encounter.

• Rounds per second decreased 6.6 >> 5.6
  S7 SNIPER
  

A common theme in feedback from the community has been that the sniper's ready-up time after being picked up felt a tad too lengthy. To help the sniper feel snappier, we wanted to address this by decreasing its ready-up time. We hope this will allow for more sniper highlights that we can’t wait to watch.

• Ready initial playback speed scale 1 >> 1.2 (shorter ready-up time).

Halo Infinite screenshot of a Spartan in Banished-themed armor ^[Imgur]
CINDERSHOT
The Cindershot is a fun and powerful weapon to use, but we acknowledge it can be frustrating to be redirected by the impulse of the explosion. To eliminate that frustration and address player feedback, we eliminated the gravity effect that would pull players around and slightly reduced the rate of fire. We hope this will improve both sides of the combat experience while still maintaining the Cindershot's effectiveness as a power weapon.

• Remove inverted impulse effect.
• Rounds per second decreased 1.33 >> 1.1
  GRAVITY HAMMER
  

We felt the range in which the Gravity Hammer can fully eliminate an enemy was too far, so we wanted to address this in the slightest of ways.

• Slight decrease of elimination range.
• Radius low 1.25 >> 1.75
• Radius high 2 >> 2.5
  SPIKE GRENADE
  

Spike Grenades have been underperforming in the core gameplay loop, and we felt a change in detonation behavior may improve its viability. The first step we took was to ensure the Spike Grenade reached its intended target by preventing its detonation midair. Additionally, once the Spike Grenade does reach its intended target it will detonate more quickly—similar to other grenades in the sandbox.

• Detonation timer starts changed from immediately >> when at rest.
• Timer decreased (low & high) 1.8 >> 1.2 seconds.

BTB HEAVIES

Halo Infinite image of BTB Heavies showing a Scorpion and Wraith firing ^[Imgur]
Back in February, the Big Team Battle playlist was refreshed with some amazing new community maps. After that update, many asked to see those maps expand to other BTB offerings, and we're pleased to confirm that the next time you see BTB Heavies (later this Operation), the map pool will have increased as we’re adding all the BTB refresh maps! You’ll be able to experience:

• Fortitude
• Insolence
• Obituary
• Refuge
• Thunderhead

Expect more chaos thanks to increased vehicular carnage and heavy weapon spawns.
Additionally, the fan-favorite One Flag CTF mode has been added to Heavies so you’ll be able to play tug of war while you try to capture the flag.
The fun will arrive during Operation: Banished Honor so get those reflexes primed and ready to jump into the fray!

WAYPOINT CHRONICLE: THE THIRD LIFE

Spartans have often been thought of as incorruptible symbols of virtue, but that’s just the official story. Some names are known as examples of Spartans having gone rogue, pledging themselves to a variety of causes, and one former-Spartan in particular finds herself on a new path altogether...
Set in the immediate aftermath of the Hunt the Truth audio drama, our next Waypoint Chronicle drops out of slipspace next week where it will be available here on Halo Waypoint, as a free downloadable PDF, and in audiobook format on YouTube.

STILL TO COME...

Halo Infinite image of three Spartans clad in customization content from upcoming Operations ^[Imgur]
This update is just the beginning, there’s still more to come on the horizon—further Operations and the highly anticipated Match Composer functionality are on the way.
OPERATION: TENRAI IV JUNE 4-JULY 2
Tenrai will return with new customization rewards in a free Operation Pass, a Tenrai-themed refresh of the Exchange, and new Shop bundles.
OPERATION: SPARTAN SURPLUS JULY 2-30
New Mark IV-themed armor pieces are accompanied by an Exchange refresh full of tactical gear from the past and more!
MATCH COMPOSER
Play what you want, whenever you want! Jump into matchmaking and choose your preferred modes to customize your online experience with Halo Infinite's new Match Composer functionality.

SHOP

Halo Infinite image of the Paths to Dominance bundle ^[Imgur]
Head to the Shop and you will find the Path to Dominance bundle, which contains:

• Tormenter helmet
• Tormenter's Kneepads
• Tormenter's Mantle shoulders
• Victory Crest chest attachment
• Crimson Compliment wrist attachment
• Fearless Glyphs armor coating
• Agitator helmet
• Shock-Treated visor
• Segmented Pauldron shoulders
• Agitator Heartplate chest attachment
• Agitator Belt hip gear
• Sharp Bracer wrist attachment
• Kneecapper kneepads
• Carrion River armor coating
• Merciless Cutthroat M293 Bandit weapon model
• Cruel Treatment weapon coating
• Paths to Dominance Mythic Effects set

And if you're looking for even more Banished goodness keep your eyes open for the Renegade bundle, dropping later this operation.

SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING

Today’s update delivers many updates and fixes that the team have been working on to improve the Halo Infinite experience. Head over to the Halo Support site to check out the full list of patch notes.
Run into a bug, glitch, or other unexpected issue? Submit a ticket and notify the team on the Halo Support site.
You can submit tickets on a wide range of topics that include reports of Audio Issues, Crashes, Game Save Corruption, Report a Player, General Bug Reports, and more.
That’s all for this launch blog, so boot up your Xbox or Steam and get ready to jump into Operation: Banished Honor.
Head into Forge and check out what you can build with the new object palettes; get to grips with the new weapon tuning updates and shut down some vehicles with the plasma pistol’s EMP; start earning some Spartan Points by jumping into matchmaking, and then head to the Exchange to further deck out your Spartan and player ID!
Hunt well, and may you be paid in sport and spoils for the glory of the Banished.

PRESS KIT

Download the Operation: Banished Honor press kit here!
Operation: Banished Honor Press Kit
Halo Infinite screenshot of a Spartan in Banished-themed armor ^[Imgur]
This post was made by a script written and maintained by the Halo mod team to automatically post blogs from Halo Waypoint. If you notice any issues with the text output or think this was posted by mistake, please message the mods.

Hi, I just bought a mini 2 SE as my first drone ever. While flying for the first time I got confused on which joystick goes up and which goes forward and I ended up hitting a tree. Broke a couple of propellers, which I’ve easily replaced with the extra ones that came in the box, but now the drone seems weaker on the side that had the broken propellers, it won’t take off properly as the weaker side makes everything unstable.
Is there a diy solution to that or do I have to send it in for repairs? I’m going on a trip tomorrow, so I really wanted to get this fixed myself, otherwise I’d have to leave the drone behind

“Well, Sir, it wuz, ohhhhhhh ... bout 1985, I reckon it were. I wuz jest gettin back to the house after a long night of runnin shine at the old still site. A bunch of weird shit went on that night. It wuz like I kept a’hearin voices in the woods. Now, I ain’t speaking bout no human voices. Nor am I speaking Sasquatch voices. They wuz high squeaky voices, and creepy and sech. I got the impression they wuz tryin to call me off into the woods. Of course, I had a haid full of acid during my shine run, so I didn’t really pay the voices no mind. But still, there wuz sumthang bout these here voices. They twernt the usual voices I wuld hear.”
“So, I git back to the house. I decided to relax a bit before bed. I warmed me up a leftover Sasquatch burger to eat. Then I kicked back in my Lazy-Boy that I stole, and scorched a fat doob while I watched “Anal Intruder 14” (My favorite of the series) on VHS. Then there wuz a knock at my door. ‘Goddamn it!!’, I thought, ‘Who’s knocking on my door at 7am in the morn?!?’”
“When I opened the damn door I found old Sheriff standing thar. I sed ‘Goddamn it, you fat sumbitch! What the fuck are you doing bothering me this early in the morning?!?’ Sheriff sed ‘Look, Roy, I know it’s early, but I am here on official business. Old Mrs. Miller called. Her old man, old “Big Cock from Talking Rock” didn’t come home last night. He went out coon hunting near here but didn’t show up for breakfast. Have you seen him?’ I told Sheriff I ain’t seen shit, then shut the door. But old Sheriff stuck his foot inside the door jam to keep me from closing my door.”
“I gave old Sheriff a look like I wuz pissed, and I wuz. Then he put up his hand and sed ‘Roy, please?’ I could see that the sumbitch wuz troubled, so I sed ‘Well shit, you may as well come on inside and tell me about it.’ “
“Sheriff sat down on the couch while I sat back down in my Lazy-Boy. Sheriff asked ‘Is that one of them Lazy-Boy recliners? Man, they sure is comfortable. I used to have one, but some sumbitch broke into my house recently and stole mine. I sure would like to catch that miscreant!’ I looked at Sheriff and sed ‘Prolly darkies. They will steal everything not nailed down.’ ‘Yep’, agreed Sheriff.”
“I asked ‘What’s troubling ya, Sheriff?’ Sheriff sighed, then started in. ‘Well, Roy, Mrs. Miller told me some troubling things, and ... uh, Roy, could you put your dick away while we talk?’ I asked Sheriff if he wanted me to turn off “Anal Intruder 14” too, and he said he did. So I shut off my Zenith and put my thumpin stick away.
“Sheriff continued, ‘Mrs. Miller claims old Big Cock has been talking all crazy, about hearing malevolent voices in the woods at night. He even said he saw some little green men and that they were the source of the voices. Roy, I don’t want to tell you this, but old Big Cock thought these little green fellas meant to kill him.’
“Then Sheriff sed ‘Roy? ROY!!!’ I had nodded off, so I made Sheriff repeat hisself. When he finished he asked, ‘Well, what do ya think, Roy?’ I held up two fangers and sed ‘Two thangs, Sheriff. First, you need to stop assuming that I give a fuck about your shit. You need to pull up yer big girl panties and do yer goddamn job. I ain’t yer fucking daddy. Two, I like old Big Cock, so instead of giving you the ass whuppin you deserve, I is gonna hep ya.’”
“Then I asked, ‘Sheriff, you ever heard talk of the Pukwudgie?’ Sheriff thought fer a moment, rubbing his chin and narrowing his eyes. I then sed to Sheriff ‘You don’t know what the fuck a Pukwudgie is, dumbass. Quit acting like you is trying to think.’ ‘Sorry Roy’, sed the Sheriff. I retorted, ‘Yep, you IS a sorry sumbitch.’”
“By this point I’d had enough of this shit-head, so I pulled out my lil old Sig P226 outa my conceal holster I have sewn into my taint and pointed it right at Sheriff’s head. Sheriff’s eyes grew bigger than 2 dinner plates. He starts crying out ‘ROY? NOOOOOOO!!!!!! BIG COCK!!!!!! REMEMBER???? BIG COCK!!!!!!’ Then I thought about “Old Big Cock From Talking Rock”. I lowered my pistol.”
“Old Big Cock and I met in Vietnam, during the war. I wuz at this here whore house called “The Slanted Crack”, jest a bangin away on sum sweet, young thang when I heard a voice from behind me say ‘She’s dead’. I thought ‘What the fuck?’, but kept on pounding that gook. Then the voice sed ‘Dude, I told you, that chick is dead.’ I turned around and thar stood Old Big Cock From Table Rock.”
“I sed ‘What the fuck is you talking about, GI?’ That’s when BC walked up and sed ‘Yeah, dude, I fucked that bitch. Then I shot her in the top of her head.’ I looked down at the bitch. I guessed it made sense because she was not really participating. I looked back up at BC and asked him why he shot the bitch. BC sed, ‘Well, I figured that she just fucked me, so I owed her a fucking, so BOOM!! Yer fucked! Heh heh heh!!!’ After that, BC and I hung tight.”
“Eventually we got separated, as I got assigned to a unit sent into Cambodia to do sum nasty business. BC and I lost touch. Then, low and behold, I ran into him after the war at the feed store whar I wuz buyin sum corn fer a batch of shine. He jest happened to move into town fer sum white-bread job. By then he already got him a wife and family and turned to God.”
“Of course, old BC could not reconcile his newfound belief structure with my Satanic worship, shine runnin, whorin, and racist-terrorism lifestyle, so we did not really hang anymore. Of course, it wuz that old whore he married that got him on the straight and narrow. The old BC I remember from Nam wuz all about banging slanty eyes, knifing Cong, and blowing up children’s hospitals. He shore had changed.”
“But I do not begrudge BC a good family life. It ain’t fer ME, mind ya. But that damn war changed a lot of folks. If’n family is what BC needed, then so be it. I would still run into old BC in town from time to time. We wuz both friendly, and genuinely glad to see one another. But ever time I brung up the war he just got quiet and sed he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Now, sir, I reckon most folks who wuz in Nam try to ferget. I cannot blame ‘em. It ‘twas pure hell. But yer old Roy has sum pretty good coping mechanisms, so it did not get on top of me like it did sum fellers. Fact is, and I am not ashamed to admit it, I had me a fucking blast in Nam! I got to hang out of choppers, firing machine guns at those little fuckers on the ground. There wuz non-stop whoring and fighting. Fer a poor old southern country boy from the hills, it was goddamn exciting!!”
“But I still got a soft spot fer old BC. We had us sum good times together, we did. There wuz this one time we stopped a caravan of trucks on this little mule path of a road in the jungle. We figured they may be moving soldiers and weapons to the enemy, so we stopped it. BC went to check on the cargo in the first truck. He radioed to us and sed ‘Well, they ain’t exactly Cong’. But due to the shitty radio BC wuz a’carryin, we only heard ‘EXACTLY ... CONG’. So we stormed the caravan and shot ever living thang in them trucks. We lit ‘em up!!”
“Turned out it wuz a caravan of local kids being bussed to a school. Whoops!! The CO blamed BC, who blamed his radio. 33 Vietnamese kids snuffed, and all because of a misunderstanding. Ha ha ha ha!!! The CO let BC off the hook. He was happy that these little fuckers now would not have a chance to grow up and shoot back at us. Shit like this kind of gave Old Big Cock a conscience, I thinks.”
“There wuz this other time in Nam when sum us guys got sent to a native hospital to vaccinate sum thar little kids. Old BC and I decided to have us sum fun. Whilst all them lil gooks wuz in the tent getting thar shots, we lit up sum firecrackers and tossed them in the tent. Well, Sir, one them grown-up gooks had a gun. He apparently mistook the firecrackers fer gunshots, so he showed his jammy.”
“That did not go over well with our GIs in the tent. The boys standing guard opened fire on the grown-up gook with their M-16s, taking out 5-6 kids in addition to their intended target. We all know them thar little gooks are sumtimes booby trapped with explosives. Not wanting to take any chances, I grabbed my M-16, stepped into the tent, and yelled ‘BOMB!!’ At that point, everyone opened fire!!”
“Well, once we got dun stacking up all the dead gook kids, we realized there wuz no bomb. The CO called me over and demanded to know why I screamed ‘bomb’. He screamed at me, ‘YOU COCKSUCKING HILLBILLY F#GGOT SON OF A BITCH!! DID YOU EVEN SEE A BOMB?’ I sed ‘No Sir!’. He continued, ‘THEN WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU YELL “BOMB” AND GET ALL THESE CHILDREN KILLED?’ I replied, ‘Sir, them lil swarthy gooks are always booby trapping thar kids. I figured it would save the lives of our good old American boys if’n we jest cut to the chase and eliminate the threat altogether, Sir.’”
“The CO thought a moment, the sed ‘GOOD THINKING, SOLDIER! GOOD THINKING!!! KEEP IT UP!’, then he patted me on the shoulder and that wuz the last I heard of it. I found old BC sitting on the ground holding one them dead gooks. He had tears streaming down his face.”
“I sed, ‘Goddamn, BC, you look like you is due fer the Thorazine Tent. The fuck is wrong with you?’ Old BC picked up a little severed leg and a little severed arm that apparently belonged to the mini gook he wuz a’holdin. With tears coming out of his eyes, Old Big Cock whimpered ‘I can’t put him back together. I can’t put him back together. I can’t put him back together. I CAN’T PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER!!! I CAN’T PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER!!!!!!’ “
“I sed to myself ‘Yikes! This sumbitch has snapped!’ I took old BC’s guns, then had a word with the CO about Big Cock’s condition. The CO told me ‘BASH THAT SICK FUCKER OVER THE HEAD, TIE HIM UP, AND THROW HIM IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK. WE’LL SHIP HIM OFF FOR EVALUATION LATER. NOW, LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. MOVE! MOVE!! MOVE!! MOVE!! MOVE!! MOVE!!”
“That wuz the last I saw of BC until he showed up here in town. He got shipped off to the funny farm hospital. But they wouldn’t send him home. They had him pushing a broom and cuttin taters and sech, just no combat and no guns.”
“After reminiscing, I looked at old Sheriff and sed, ‘I reckon I need to see what I can do fer old Big Cock. Whar the fuck his old lady at? I need to talk to her. Sheriff asked ‘Do ya think that’s a good idea, Roy? She’s real tore up.’ I picked up the carved stone ash tray on the table next to my chair and slung it hard at Sheriff’s head. THUMP!!!! It gave him a nice, bloody gash in his forehead. Sheriff let out a howl, ‘OHHHHHHHHH!!! Goddamn, Roy! That hurts! Why did you do that?’ I sed ‘Don’t ever question me, snot-head. Now shut the fuck up and let’s go see BC’s bitch.’”
“It took us about an hour to get to BC’s house. It twere jest an average looking, white bread house. The lawn was manicured, there were a white picket fence, and 2 little statues of a couple nicely dressed negro fellers in the front yard. As Sheriff knocked on the front door, I whipped out my cock to take a piss off the porch. Sheriff musta heard the tinkling sound cuz he turned and sed ‘Roy!! What are you doing?!? STOP THAT!’ With my right hand, I gave him a stern back-handed bitch slap across his fat face. WHAPPP!!!! Then I sed ‘Shut up.’ About that time the door opened.”
“Old Mrs. Miller opened the door just as I wuz putting my cock back in my pants. Sheriff sed ‘Hello Mrs. Miller. I brought along an old friend of your husband, Roy. He lives back up in Sasquatch Hollar, near where John had been coon hunting.” Mrs. Miller sed ‘Yes, I know Roy. He was in the service with my John, in Vietnam.’ The little woman wuz not too fond of me cuz soon after they moved to town I picked up BC one afternoon, got him all coked up and ended up crashing his BMW into Bigfoot River with a dead stripper in the trunk.”
“I sed ‘Why hello there, Mrs. Miller. Sheriff here has been telling me about your husband and his problems. I came to see if’n I can help.’ Despite her feelings about me, she seemed genuinely glad I wuz here. We went inside the house and sat down. Mrs. Miller served us coffee, then we started talking.”
“Just like Sheriff has told me, old Big Cock had been acting funny lately. He started acting paranoid and talking about little green men in the woods. They wuz whispering to him in the dark woods and beckoning him to follow, though he never did. His wife sed she tried to keep him at home, but that BC sed they were calling him and he had to go; he had to find out what they wanted. He had to follow them. Clearly his wife was really concerned, but it sounds like there wuz nothing she could do to stop him from returning to those dark woods to try and break the spell they had on him.”
“Sheriff then told Mrs. Miller that I wuz an ex-commando and that I specialized in paranormal occurrences and investigations. The poor, desperate old lady looked to me with big, doe eyes hoping that I had something to say that would ease her mind, and maybe help find her beloved man. Mrs. Miller gently asked me, ‘Roy, do you think John is still ... alive?’”
“I replied, ‘Fuck no. That sumbitch is dead as hell.’ Poor Mrs. Miller went to crying hysterically. Sheriff scolded me fer being blunt with the woman. When he got her settled down she asked me what I knew of what happened. I guess I owed the old woman an explanation.”
“So I sed, ‘Look, I don’t know fer sure if old Big Cock is still alive or not ...’ Then Mrs. Miller interrupted me, saying ‘...John. Please call him John.’ I said ok. Then I continued, ‘The thang is that from everthang you and Sheriff been telling me, this is a case of the Pukwudgie.’”
“Mrs. Miller did not understand. So I explained to her that the Pukwudgie, or the little people, are small, green demonic people that live in the woods. They hate humans, and try to lure them to their deaths. Mrs. Miller looked terribly shocked. She asked ‘Are these things... these Pukwudgie, are they ... REAL?’ I sed ‘Shit yeah, they is real, woman. I seen ‘em. Best thang to do is to ignore ‘em. Well, that, and shoot the little bastards.’”
“I continued, ‘Yessir, I have seen those little peckers. You will be out thar in the deep, dark woods, runnin shine, or huntin, er fishin, or performing some Satanic magic, then you start hearing talking. It starts out real low. It sounds like a conversation between 2 or more of them, but you cannot understand them because they is speaking so fast.’”
“I went on, ‘Then, all a sudden, they call out yer name. That’s when shit starts gettin REALLY creepy. They get yer attention and then they call you to them. They will show themselves to ya if you follow their call. They is sum ugly motherfuckers too. They stand about 3 feet tall and look like little green trolls. Then, once you have contact with them, they try to lead you off into the woods. Some say that they want to lead you off so they can kill ya. I guess they ambush ya er sumthang. When I see one I usually pull my pistol and blow their heads to bits. It explodes like a cantaloupe, but it splatters this green goo.’”
“Mrs. Miller asked, ‘So, you have never followed on of these ...Pukwudgie... off into the woods?’ I sed ‘Hell no. I kill the little fuckers. BUT, they been known to get inside yer head and put a spell on you to whar ya can’t resist thar call. In that case, they lead ya off into the woods and you are never seen er heard from again ... ever.’”
“I know this wuz troubling news for Mrs. Miller, but she needed to hear the truth. After a few moments of silence, Mrs Miller asked if I would go to the woods where Big Cock went coon hunting and see if I could either find him or find his body and return it to her fer a proper Christian burial.”
“I sed ‘Look, I like Old Big Cock....uh, I mean, John. But if the Pukwudgie got him, then there prolly won’t be no sign left. They would drag him off into some underground lair.’ Then Mrs. Miller pleaded with me. She sed ‘Look, we don’t have a lot of money, but I could pay you. How about ... $5,000.00? I just got to know.’ I still wuz not eager to go about fucking with them thar sneaky little critters. But Mrs. Miller wuz getting real desperate. I wuz feeling sorta sorry fer her. I also felt some sense of duty to Big Cock, a fellow soldier.”
“I came to a conclusion. I sed ‘Ok, Mrs Miller, I will do it. I will try to find yer husband, or at least what happened to him out thar, but on 2 conditions.’ Mrs. Miller eagerly nodded. I continued, ‘First, you pays me my $5k up front, as in now.’ She sed ‘Done. I have the cash upstairs. What is the second condition?’”
“I sed ‘The second condition is that you go into that kitchen over thar, drop your drawers and bend over the table so I can fuck ya.’ Mrs. Miller’s face sank, and tears started rolling down her face. Softly she spoke, ‘John always said you are an evil man, Roy. He said you do not know the Lord. He said you did horrible things in Vietnam. Now I believe him.”
“As Mrs. Miller is talking I glance at my watch. Goddamn, it wuz noon already and I still ain’t got no sleep after last night’s shine run. Then I remembered the voices. I heard them motherfuckers last night at the Still site!”
“I butted Into Mrs. Miller’s evangelical bullshit and sed ‘I know whar they is! Those Pukwudgie were calling me last night at my Still site, which was when Old Big Cock went missing in the same general area. I thought I wuz jest high - and I wuz - but those were the weird, outa the ordinary voices I heard.’ Now I had Mrs. Miller’s attention. Even old Sheriff wuz on the edge of his seat.”
“Mrs Miller excitedly asked me would I go get her husband. She sed ‘Oh, sweet Jesus, Roy, you KNOW where he is. Will you go? Will you please go?’ I sed ‘Yep, I’ll go, and I will kill ever last one of then Pukwudgie critters. If John is thar, I will git him.’”
“Then I sed, ‘Mrs. Miller, ya’ll don’t got to pay me none. Old Big Cock is my friend. So you can keep yer money.’ She nodded, with hope in her eyes. Then I sed ‘Now git yer ass in the kitchen.’ She looked stunned. I sed, ‘Bitch, I may be not gonna charge ya, but I is still gonna fuck ya. So git in that thar kitchen and git yer britches off! The longer you take, the longer it will take me to find Old Big Cock!!’ She sheepishly did as she was told.”
“After I nutted in Mrs. Miller’s cooter, I told Sheriff to give me the keys to his police cruiser. He sed ‘Roy, you know I can’t do that.’ Then BAMMM!!!! I punched that prick right in the throat. He went down like a sack of taters. As he was lying there, desperately gasping fer breath, I fished his car keys out of his pocket and took his pistol. Then I walked out the door, leaving Sheriff writhing on the floor, and Mrs. Miller lying in fetal position and sobbing on the kitchen floor. I checked Sheriff’s pistol. It was a .380. I stopped in my tracks and sed ‘This is f#ggot shit!!’, then tossed the cheap, pussy gun on Mrs. Miller’s front lawn. I got into Sheriff’s car and then headed back to Sasquatch Hollar. I figured I would get me sum real firepower and then go kill sum Pukwudgie. On the drive I wondered how those little critters would taste grilled.”
“So I got back home and prepared to do my loadout. Fer you f#ggot-homosexuals out thar, that means getting reddy fer battle. I went into the house and the first thang I did wuz put on some fightin’ music on my music player. I chose some Dying Fetus, which be sum extreme deth metal. I stuck the CD in the player then cranked that sumbitch loud enuff old Satan hisself had to cover his ears. I wanted to get inta the mood, if’n ya knows what I mean. Next wuz my vest. It is a Russian tactical belt/vest I pulled off a dead commie bastard. I fucking hate commies! Then come the blades: 2 ProTech Godfather switchum blades and a big old Kabar. Finally, it wuz time fer the guns.”
“But before I could do my gun load-out, I had to change CDs to enhance my mood. I took out the Dying Fetus and replaced it with Goatwhore, cranked so fucking loud that even the angels above will have debilitating tinnitus. Then came the guns.”
“Them Pukwudgies are little and sneaky. I am gonna need a shotgun fer this hunt. But I also want shell capacity. So I went to my safe and pulled out my Saiga 12. I loaded some drums with 3” magnums in double-ought buckshot. This setup will literally shred them little munchkins to pieces.”
“Next came my backup weapon. Since we weren’t talking bout anything big, I pulled out my Sig M400 AR-15. It wuz already loaded wit a 60 round mag. I grabbed me 5 more loaded 60s, all green tips. Next wuz my sidearm. Again, small pussy targets. I had the PERFECT choice: My FN Five-seveN! I put that sumbitch in a holster and on my gun belt, with 2 extra 20 round mags. Those 5.7s will gut the little monsters.”
“Now fer my backup handgun. I chose my CZ75 SP-01. My particular one had 18+1 capacity. I just stuck this fucker and 2 extra mags in my belt, privateer style! Finally, jest fer Insurance, I got out my Kimber micro-9s. These are basically pocket guns of last resort. I sticks em in my overalls’ front pockets.”
“Then came the piece-de-la-resistance: My Ruger Super Redhawk revolver chambered fer .480 cartridges and with an 8 inch barrel. This wuz my true LAST RESORT CCW piece. I pulled down my drawers and inserted this big beautiful bastard right up my ass, barrel first, fer Deep Concealed Carry. I let the handle stay on the outside and fit it snug up into my taint. Then I put my draws back on and suited up.”
“I headed straight fer my still site. By now it wuz 3 pm. Them lil fuck-faces won’t come out until after dark. Like I dun sed, I ain’t been to sleep. So I thought, fuck it, I’ll lean up agin one these old hardwood trees and gits me sum shut eye while waitin fer dark.”
“I woke up just as the sun wuz settin, feeling this sharp pain in my nethers. I looked down and found a squirrel chewing on my nuts! I snatched that motherfucker up by its neck and sed ‘You mangy sumbitch!’, then SNAP!!!! I broke its neck. I then built myself a fire and skinned and gutted the critter. He wuz gonna be my dinner!”
“As I went about my business I wondered how my balls had flopped outa my overalls. I knew Pukwudgie were in the area. I also knew something else bout these buggers....something I didn’t tell Mrs. Miller. These Pukwudgie are sexual deviants who will molest ya. Ya see, I thought I wuz safe till dark. But I wuz wrong. Those fuckers were already out and about. Most likely I had one or more watching me this very moment!”
“Well, I roasted the squirrel then ate it, washing it down with shine from my tactical flask that says “BIGFOOT SLAYER!” on it. I stayed real still and as motionless as possible while I ate, like I had no idea I wuz being watched. I could hear that little bastard tip-toeing around me in the woods. That ball-fondling dwarf Pukwudgie f#ggot!”
“What struck me as odd is why these little motherfuckers chose jest now to show up here. I’m out in these here wood all the time, but have not seen ‘em in a long time. Hmmmmm ...”
“Then came the speaking, the odd, indecipherable language. I laid back agin a tree and closed my eyes. Eventually the midget-speak wore down. Then it got quiet. It wuz too quiet, in fact. Then, as if someone was right up at my ear whispering forcefully, I heard ‘ROY!!’ I sprang to attention, scairt shitless. Even though I wuz expecting it, it wuz still a fucking shock.”
“I started creeping around, outside of the light of the fire. It wuz blacker than a nigg*r out in these here woods. By now it was a quarter to 8. Then I heard the voice again. It sed ‘ROY!’ It was clearly from one of them Pukwudgies. You can always tell them, as they sound like Muppets on acid. I moved toward the direction of the voice.”
“I pushed through sum heavy brush and briars, then came out into a little opening. Thar it wuz. Right in front of me wuz one of these little leprechaun motherfuckers. It wuz green and seemed to glow slightly. It wuz sneering at me, then sed ‘Come, this way, Roy’, as it motioned me toward a path into the dark woods. I figured I ought not kill it cuz I need info on Old Big Cock. Of course, that did not mean I could not cripple it.”
“I snapped up my scatter gun and fired ...BOOM!! I shot the lil puppet monster below it’s waste, completely shredding its little legs with the buck shot. I walked over and stood over it as it wuz writhing in pain. Then the craziest dang thang happened: it opened its eyes, looked up at me and started talking. Now, one may think these Pukwudgie would start casting evil spells and shit when cornered. But this one wuz different.”
“The Pukwudgie looked up at me and sed ‘Why did you blow off my legs, you sick motherfucker?’ I told the critter to watch its mouth or I would blow that off too. But the wounded Pukwudgie kept on, saying ‘I can’t even walk now, you stupid fucking hick! Couldn’t you have found a goat to fuck tonight so you would not have to be out here turning my legs into shredded wheat, you ass-eating cock-sucker?’ I wuz a little taken back by its language.”
“I then stepped on the little prick’s lame legs and put all my force on them. The Pukwudgie let out a powerful scream of pain. Then I asked it about Old Big Cock. We went round and round, with the munchkin not giving up any intel. So I settled on a course of action. BLAMMMM!!! Another blast from my scattergun and this little twat no longer had a head.”
“I looked around what wuz left of it. He had sum funny looking leprechaun clothing on. Honestly, it wuz dressed like one of them thar Canadian figure skater homos. I searched the pockets and pulled out a wad of paper. It be nuthin but trash it had picked up and stuffed into its pockets. What an asshole.”
“So thar I wuz, in the middle of the dark woods with a dismembered Pukwudgie. My only lead is dead. But afore I tossed all that wadded up paper from the critter’s pocket, sumthang caught my eye. It wuz sumthang hard and metallic. I cut my sure-fire flashlighter on. It wuz sum motherfucking dog tags, like what ever soldier is issued. I looked closely. What I dun read from those tags almost made me shit a brick. The name on the tag was ‘John Miller’. SHIT!!! These are Old Big Cock’s dog tags! That creepy little varmint jacked these dog tags from BC!!”
“Then all hell broke loose. There came a huge commotion from all around me. Several of those little Pygmy voices were chanting ‘Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy...’ I had a bad feeling about this. Then, all at once, they charged me, from all sides. Turned out thar were five of them Pukwudgies, and they were coming at me and carrying little weapons.”
“I just tore into sum hysterical laughing at the sight. They wuz just cuter than fuck!! They wuz like puppets carrying toy swords, and sticks and sech. It wuz hilarious! All five of em stopped within a couple feet of me, perplexed by my uncontrollable laughing. They jest stood around me and looking at each other. Apparently they had never seen sech a sight. Most of thar victims turn and high-tail it in terror. But I didn’t. Finally, one of the Pukwudgies spoke.”
“This real little one looked like he wuz dressed up to be a riverboat card dealer and he carried a sharpened stick. Speaking to me in a voice that sounded like Grover from Sesame Street, it sed ‘Roy, you do not run. Are you not fearful that your life may be lost?’ That just caused me to laugh ten times harder. Again, they started looking at each other. Then the one behind me and carrying a tiny pitch fork came up and jabbed me in the ass with it. Then it demanded to know why I wuz laughing.”
“I finally got my laughing under control and got quiet and caught my breath. I then turned around to look at the little pecker that just stabbed me in my ass. It wuz dressed up like a little wizard, with sequins and a purple robe, like it had jest escaped from a gay pride parade. I lost it, and started laughing uncontrollably again. They wuz all dressed up like they were going to a gay disco on Halloween night.”
“They managed to get my long guns as I wuz writhing in laughter. Then they told me to get to my feet cuz they wuz taking me back to thar lair as their prisoner. As they marched me toward their lair I wuz still cackling up a storm. This wuz the funniest situation that I been in since I accidentally blew up the Vietnam Special Olympics thinking it wuz sum kind of weird military exercise.
“The Pukwudgie lair was underground. I had to get on my belly and crawl into a cave. Then I had to stay on my belly and crawl downward a bit. We came to an oppening with a fire burning on the floor. At least in this larger chamber I could stand up, even though I had to stay bent over.”
“Of course, I could have gotten free and slaughtered those little pricks at any time. But my task wuz to find old Big Cock. So I let them take me prisoner. It wuz pretty easy to, cuz I plum went into hysterics when I got a look at these little dwarf things and their very gay clothes and heard their cartoony sounding voices.”
“Then I spied a big pot hanging over the fire. They wuz cooking a stew of some sort, and it smelled all gamey and gross. I took their spoon and started stirring it, which really pissed off the critters. This one started kicking my ankle with the pointing-end of his costume looking shoe. I kicked that sumbitch and it landed against the wall. That got them rip-roaring mad. Jest then I got the fright of my life. As I stirred the gross looking stew, a human head floated up in the pot. IT WUZ BIG COCK’s HEADS!! Then I noticed Big Cock’s large wang floating in the pot.”
“Poor old Big Cock! He did not deserve to die like this... Murdered and eaten by maniacal muppets. The critters surrounded me and told me to get away from the cooking pot. I sed ‘You little fuck-tards kilt my friend. Now you is gonna have to pay. So I reached into my ass and pulled out my .480 revolver. The Pukwudgies stepped back at the sight of my large weapon. Then all hell broke loose. ‘BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!!’ I dropped all 5 of those motherfuckers, right thar in the lair. These little twats have been known to work sum black magic fuckery, so I took my Ka-Bar and cut the heads off all five of them.”
“I found me an old burlap bag then fished Big Cock’s remains out of the stew and put ‘em in the bag. There wuz the head, both hands, and his hawg. I tied up the bag. Right before I left I thought ‘what the fuck?’, and spooned out sum of that stew and tasted it. Surprisingly, it weren’t bad. I found me an old styrofoam container one of these lil rascals must have found and brought home. I used it to hold some that stew I thought I would bring home fer dinner. So with the bag carrying Big Cock’s remains, and my take-out stew, I crawled outa thar.”
“I went back to my cabin first so I could put my stew on ice fer later. Then I departed. I had to be the bearer of bad news to Mrs. Miller. It wuz about 1:30 am, I reckon, when I knocked on her door. Mrs Miller opened the door in her night robe. Brutha, the front of that robe showed off them titties right fine! I could even make out the nipples through the fabric. I sed, ‘Honey, I dun found yer man. Then I set that burlap bag on her floor. I handed her BC’s dog tags. Then I pointed to the bag of body parts and sed ‘What’s left of him is in here. You want to take a look, or you wanna jest save it fer a proper funeral?’
“At this here point, Mrs. Miller broke down cryin. About that time I heard old Sheriff call out ‘Honey? You coming back to bed?’ Then that fat, sloppy sumbitch came walking down the stairs wearing nothing but his drawers and patrol hat. He saw me and sed ‘Oh, hi, Roy.’”
“I wuz speechless. I sed, ‘What the fuck is you doing? You fucking BC’s bitch?’ He stammered about and sed ‘Well, Roy, she is hurtin and I jest tried to comfort her, then one thang led to another.’ “
“Mrs. Miller had then composed herself and walked over. She apologized for falling apart like that. The she hugged me, saying thank you for finding out what happened to John and for bringing his remains home so she can have a service and grieve properly. I told her I wuz sorry fer her loss.”
“Then I sed, ‘You know what you need, Mrs. Miller?’ She looked puzzled. I sed ‘You need a good fucking slapped on yer ass. That fat-fuck Sheriff couldn’t make a dog come to dinner. Why don’t ya let old Roy, The “Pope of Joy”, take you upstairs and DESTROY your pussy? We’ll make Sheriff just sit there and watch, like in a cuck video.”
“So the three of us went upstairs. I tied up Sheriff to a chair and he had to sit there and watch me bang his new girlfriend the rest of the night! He even cried a little. Ha ha ha ha!!!!”
“The next morning I woke up lying next to Old Mrs. Miller. Sheriff wuz still tied up at bedside, but he wuz sleeping. His head wuz down and he wuz snoring. I wuz still a bit shook up by Big Cock’s death. Mrs. Miller wuz sleeping soundly, which wuz to be expected after I put a pounding on that pussy.”
“I sed out loud, ‘Old Big Cock, wharever you is right now, I hope ya know I is sorry fer how this turned out, buddy. But, as tribute to you and all the fun we used to have back in Nam, please accept this gesture as a token of our friendship.’ Then I reached fer my Ruger .480.”
“At the sound of the report from the pistol, Old Sheriff, still tied up, fell over in the chair, landing hard on the floor with a THUD. I then sed ‘Well, Mrs. Miller, you fucked me good. So now I returned the favor. You are FUCKED!’ Indeed, her brains were splattered all over the wall.”
“I untied old Sheriff and told him that he wuz going to have the distinct pleasure and privilege of buying me breakfast at the Waffle House this morning. He asked why I executed Mrs. Miller. I sed I wuz jest settin Big Cock free.”

I remember when I first started the game and didn’t have many stations before I got the cemetery skin. I just loved how no matter the skin you could see the forest surrounding the cats and really enjoy the theme you have in use.
I’ve currently got all the facilities and I just wish I could layout the cats in mini forest clearings (or islands for the beach themes) so you can zoom in on a clearing and enjoy seeing the trees and cats up close.
Do people prefer their large clearings or does anyone wish they could arrange ‘forest’ dividers etc in between ?

https://preview.redd.it/4v8qjh13hnxc1.png?width=2880&format=png&auto=webp&s=0e6a3f3103a407f0c68dcfe7237b70478f34b3f9
Relive the story of a nameless Courier who, even after “death,” is ready to do anything to complete the task assigned to him!
Liked:

• + Availability of achievements
• + Localization into several languages, including Russian
• + Support for saves from the EU version of the game
• + Support for custom modifications
• + Great soundtrack
• + Tactical combat system V.A.T.S.
• + Character customization
• + Possibility of character improvement
• + Ability to modify weapons
• + Large open world
• + Moral and ethical choices that affect the relationship of the world to the character
• + The player's actions affect the world around him
• + Wide dialogue tree
• + Using retrofuturism as the basis for the visual style of the game
• + Variety of additional storylines and tasks
• + Almost all tasks have several solutions
• + The presence of hundreds of entries in the computer, which expands the ENT game
• + Availability of “auto-move” function
• + Several game endings
• + Availability of companions to help you in the world of New Vegas
• + Possibility of starting your own house or apartment
• + Ability to explore the world outside the game map
• + Possibility of killing almost all NPCs on your way
• + Own card game “Caravans”
• + New mechanics
• + New items and weapons
• + Redesigned lighting

Did not like:

• - Increased mouse sensitivity in the game menu
• - Yellow color of the game’s main menu interface, which blends in with the background images
• - Long loading levels
• - Periodic FPS drops
• - Possible freezing while loading levels
• - Possible crashes to the desktop without error windows
• - Restriction on the availability of in-game currency from merchants
• - The presence of glow-in-the-dark pupils for NPCs and the hero
• - Poor character animations
• - Weak AI of enemies and allies
• - Low quality textures
• - Problems with balancing damage/effects of enemies
• - Possibility of getting stuck while moving over rocks/stones/various objects and objects
• - The character cannot use the jump if there is a rock/stone/wall nearby
• - Problem with shooting accuracy and weapon spread
• - An abundance of invisible walls that interfere with exploration of the world and surroundings
• - The presence of cracks in the textures of objects, allowing you to look into the “Underside” of the world
• - The presence of visible limiting textures in shop windows/destroyed houses/buildings/objects
• - No restrictions on the sale of goods if the Seller does not have money to purchase the player’s goods. All goods sold beyond the seller's capabilities will simply be removed from the player's inventory
• - No selling of “garbage” in the player’s inventory - with one click
• - Uninformative “Tasks” tab, which provides only “general” information about tasks, without the ability to re-read mission details
• - Lack of Trader marks on the mini-radar and the player’s local map
• - In a number of “important” NPC conversations, the player cannot move
• - A bug where enemies can get stuck in textures/objects
• - Glitch with an increase in severed limbs from corpses
• - A glitch with some discarded items from the player’s backpack, in the houses of wasteland residents - which instantly become “strangers” and are returned to them - is considered theft
• - When removing objects from a backpack, some objects may “roll” outside the location or disappear into the textures of other objects
• - Visual glitch with dynamite, which may display a burning animation
• - Some enemy objects and weapons may remain in the air after his death
• - Visual glitch, in which the sleeves and trouser legs of suits that were removed from the main body remain on severed limbs
• - Glitch with the quest for the “Brahmin Night Killer”, in which the Shadow can stand at the Brahmin camp all day without using a stealth kid
• - Increased accuracy for NPC opponents
• - Problems with targeting mines during mine clearance
• - If you quickly switch views from first to third and back while running, the game will break and your character will fly. But you won’t be able to stop or interact with the pipboy or objects/NPCs/call up the game menu
• - The appearance of enemy/NPC models within each other
• - Model of the robot cowboy Victor, capable of appearing in the tent of the Followers of the Apocalypse, without the ability to roll out
• - Abundance of loading screens
• - A bug with the exit from the NKR Secret Shelter in which allies get stuck in textures
• - Glitch with stretched textures in a number of locations
• - A bug with a shotgun trap on the mission to rescue Morales’ corpse, which will hang in the air
• - Opponents see the hero if he is in stealth using a stealth battle with a pumped-up stealth skill
• - Lack of indication of the necessary statistics for weapon/item possession
• - Carrying Morales' dead body mission (no training to carry items with Z)
• - A bug in which Lieutenant Curtis, in spy mania, admits that he works as a mole at the first meeting
• - The character gets stuck in the textures of monorail cars
• - If you are attacked by bandits in the Strip, no one will come to your aid, neither the robots standing nearby, nor the NKR
• - Allies do not know how to use antidote/stimulants on their own
• - Task to catch the virus in the terminals of the Brotherhood of Steel
• - Satellites block narrow passages
• - A bug with the appearance of Boone/Victoria in locations, in which they “move” in the animation of sitting on a chair
• - The appearance of opponents/creatures directly in front of the player
• - An abundance of gameplay problems due to the short release time of the game and add-ons
• - Opportunity to go beyond the game level
• - Problem with the physics of objects; if picked up, all neighboring objects begin to move and jump on their own
• - Problems with sound positioning accuracy (very noticeable in the Blood Money add-on)
• - Spawn enemies under the map
• - If the player takes Willis's clothes, the protagonist's model will still be wearing them
• - Lack of insurance in blackjack
• - Lack of music in the Gomorrah casino
• - Lack of music in the Ultra Lux casino
• - Glitch using a mysterious magnum
• - Collision contact bug
• - The White Glove administrator moves along the longest path to the character at the card table
• - For some reason, in the end credits of Lonesome Road, the Courier wears a Vault 21 jumpsuit
• - White-legged creatures appear directly from the air in front of the player - according to the script, without using “stealth combat”
• - Bug with the absence of Gorely at the end of the battle with Sol-on-Wounds
• - If you take your partners with you to the “Smart Home” and go to the Magnetic-Hydraulic Complex, then the characters will walk along the bottom and not swim

Conclusion:
Fallout: New Vegas is a game that was released in 2010 and instantly gained recognition among fans of the Fallout series and fans of role-playing games. And that it was again at the top of the Steam popularity chart, almost 14 years after its release. The series, produced by Amazon Prime Video, was such a success that it encouraged “newbies” to explore the Wasteland for the first time, and veterans to remember their “best moments” and immerse themselves in them again.
“Fallout: New Vegas” is an open world game set in a post-apocalyptic world after a nuclear disaster. The player will have to explore the wasteland of New Vegas, interact with various characters, complete tasks and make key decisions that affect the development of the plot and the ending of the game.
This game is famous for its exciting plot, detailed characters and world, many tasks and choices that influence the development of the story. Particularly noteworthy are the carefully crafted moral dilemmas and the ability to define the protagonist's path.
One of the key aspects of the game is the reputation system, which determines how other characters treat the player based on his actions. Your choices affect your relationships with different factions and can cause different consequences in the game world.
It is worth noting the variety of weapons, armor, items and “abilities” that allow you to customize your character to suit your playstyle. Explore a variety of locations in New Vegas, meet unique characters and engage in exciting battles - despite the limited variety of enemies and landscapes, it is still quite exciting and exciting.
An important aspect of the game is the crafting system, which allows you to create and improve weapons, armor, medicine and other items from materials found in the game world. Crafting provides ample opportunities, including for personalizing equipment, as well as increasing the effectiveness of the character.
Another interesting aspect of Fallout: New Vegas is the companion system. Players can travel with a variety of allies, each with their own unique story, skills, and personality. Interacting with companions not only adds depth to the game, but also affects the plot and the outcome of certain events.
At the same time, the game is also known for its characteristic features of the Fallout series: dark humor (which is partially lost in localizations into languages other than English), a post-apocalyptic world, a retro-futuristic style, and of course, many secrets and Easter eggs to explore.
One of the strengths of “Fallout: New Vegas” is the musical accompaniment and atmospheric sound design, which create a unique post-apocalyptic atmosphere and immerse the player in the amazing and dark world of the game. But even by turning off the in-game music and turning off the radio in his pip-boy, the player will still be able to fully enjoy the rich sound of nature and the environment, creating a feeling of “bubbling life” in the endless wastelands, invisible to the player’s eyes.
“Fallout: New Vegas” has received numerous awards and recognition from gaming journalists and the gaming community for its depth, freedom of action and unique combination of RPG and shooter elements. But it also became a global “meme”, due to a million problems and errors - which were not corrected by the developers from Obsidian Entertainment for decades. And what has to be corrected is the players themselves.
"Fallout: New Vegas" not only offers an exciting adventure in the Fallout universe, but also impresses with the depth and variety of plot development options, which makes it one of the most significant and popular games in this series.
Overall, Fallout: New Vegas is a game that can keep you entertained for dozens of hours thanks to its varied missions, colorful characters, and unforgettable moments. However, unlike “Fallout 3,” this game has a number of problems that prevent it from being enjoyed immediately after launch. The game is not optimized for modern gaming systems, which leads to various bugs and critical errors that cause frequent freezes and crashes. Therefore, trying to beat the game can turn into a real challenge.
However, no matter your RPG experience, Fallout: New Vegas is sure to please you with its potential and depth of gameplay. However, you will have to spend time customizing the game with a variety of custom modifications and patches that will correct the shortcomings of the developers at Obsidian Entertainment.
Tip: The game has optimization issues due to limitations of the game engine when running on modern gaming systems. If you are frequently thrown out of the game with various errors, try lowering your graphics settings. Many problems running older games are caused by players setting the graphics settings too high, and the games were not designed for such settings. Lowering the settings from “ultra” to “high” can significantly improve your experience in the Mojave Desert.

Mini rant / seeking advice:
My dream wedding is to get married in the winter (December 2025), outside, surrounded by snow. I’ve had this vision for more than 10 years. My fiancé and I compromised by settling on an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception, which I’m fine with! Well, he recently spoke to his family, who is against everything outdoors if we do a winter wedding. I really pictured my wedding taking place in nature, surrounded by trees.
Now I don’t know what to do. Do I please everyone else and do a fully indoor wedding at a venue I don’t feel excited about? Do I switch my wedding date to October or November and have it outside? I’ve only ever wanted to get married in the winter months. I feel like no matter what, I’m going to do something that doesn’t make me happy. I want our loved ones to attend, but how much should I bend on my vision?
And I realize I probably sound like an entitled bridezilla. At the end of the day, I just want to marry the love of my life.
Edited to add: I am located in southeast Michigan

There’s a lot of hate here for season 4, and I get it! Season 1 is as close to perfect as TV can get… 2 and 3 were disappointing for me, but not without merit. Then along came 4… and consensus here is that TDS4 is an abomination.
However, I do have a theory and it’s not that wild if you think about it.
I have stated this theory here before and there’s not a lot of love for it, but please set prejudices to one side and hear me out.
S4 makes complete sense if understood as a depiction of Rust’s coma dream from S1.
Indications that what we are watching is a dream…
1) Theme song… Billie Eilish sings ‘when we all go to sleep where do we go’? Answer… dreamland. 2) When Navarro has visions of Danvers son Holden, he has the word dreamer written in mirror writing on his pyjamas… this is shown twice, but blink and you’ll miss it fast… shown but deliberately concealed. 3) When Qavvik is ice fishing he hums Supertramp’s song dreamer. 4) The weirdness… ghosts, visions, Navarro’s bleeding ear, lit Christmas tree on dredge, Navarro beating up police with no consequence etc etc… all plausible in context of a dream.
If it’s a dream, it’s Rust’s
1) Alaska setting 2) Deceased father appears as ghost 3) Tuttles are involved 4) Lone Star beer 5) Time is flat circle 6) Spiral 7) Parent who has tragically lost young child
If it’s Rust’s dream why is it specifically his coma dream?
Because the experience he describes in the coma dream is the same as Danvers experiences in season 4 finale… swallowed by darkness, feels child’s presence, emerges from dark with newfound faith and optimism.
Predictions for Season 5?
Return of Rust, set in Hawaii (based on clue on Danvers coffee mug in S4 finale)
Issa Lopez to direct in a completely different style to Night Country.
Season 5 will be awesome! 🤞🤞🤞
Season 4 I believe is in essence a risky, perhaps misguided but nonetheless intriguing teaser mini season linking TD1 and TD5.

I am thinking of swapping my 2004 1.6 mini one for 2012/2013 1.6 mini one. Anything I should know? What red flags should I look for?