Disclaimer: This post is merely to provide knowledge, and not to instruct you to do anything. Your choice whether to choose the Science One program at UBC or not is completely up to you. I hope this helps in making an informed decision.
I just thought I would contribute to the existing public knowledge of the Science One program already on Reddit here: https://www.reddit.com/UBC/comments/ec95t4/for_anyone_interested_in_science_one/ My post assumes you already did basic research on the program and aims to contribute more knowledge that isn’t publicly available yet (here is the Science One website: https://scienceone.ubc.ca)
I am an alumni in the 2023-2024 cohort, but just a disclaimer that a few things will change in the program in the years to come (see below):
Just a few small updates to the previous Reddit post:

• BIOL 140 is no longer a mandatory component of Science One so there will be no associated biology labs.
• There are three STT’s, where you can find here for the updated schedules for your year: https://scienceone.ubc.ca/resources

Note about grades: While Science One is promoted as a program where the students care more about knowledge than grades, while this is very true in my personal experience, I still think that grades played a large impact on our mental health, confidence, and our overall enjoyability of the first year experience. The reason I am including grades here is to allow you to have reasonable expectations about your grades and know that if you want to go into a very competitive specialization in second year, Science One may not be the right program for you. Note that the grades published on UBC grades (https://ubcgrades.com) is not representative of the actual class average. There is a policy where if a student failed two or more subjects in Science One, the credit for Science One will be broken down into its individual course components and the student will not appear to have been in Science One (it doesn’t show Science One on their transcript, rather the rough course equivalents). This raises the apparent class average reported. In my year, 3 people were removed, which changed the class average from 75% to 77%.
Alright, with that out of the way, I will be filling in the gaps of public knowledge specifically with the workload of Science One. Below is a (hopefully) unbiased perspective on Science One. My personal opinion will be stated later in this post.
Biology
Note: both of our biology professors (Pam Kalas and George Haughn) are no longer teaching in the program, so this subject may look very different

• Weekly 10 minute quizzes (quiz average 15% of biology grade), consisting normally of two to three written questions (be sure to learn to type very fast and think fast, especially since these quizzes are normally at 8:30am in the morning)
  • However, we get one quiz drop per term where our lowest quiz mark is discarded
  • Generally the quiz average is around 74%
• Biology Midterm “superquiz” once a term (20% of biology grade, can replace quiz average if the mark is higher so can be worth up to 35%) which is around 55 minutes and consists of around 10 long written questions (however, this is very little time for the amount of thinking and typing necessary to succeed so learn to type fast!)
  • Average was around 74% and 60% respectively for terms 1 and 2
• Biology assignments for completion/participation (10%) around once every 1-2 weeks ~ somewhat simple compared to the complexity of the quizzes and midterm, takes around 15-20 minutes per assignment
• Pre-readings per week around 2 hours, critical to understanding the class material
  • Pre-readings are found in study guides provided to us or on public webpages, there is no textbook for biology
• One tree project in term 1 where you are tasked with finding and identifying five different tree species around campus
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%), however, if you do better on your final exam than midterm average, it can replace the midterm average (so can be worth up to 85% of your grade)
  • Consists of written answers with explanations (I found this final to always be very rushed, finishing writing my answers with around 1 minute to spare)
  • Typically, since the final exams are so difficult, very few people will be able to get a higher mark on the final exam than the midterm
  • Average was 65% in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 3-10 hours of work per week depending on your thinking speed and how busy that week’s schedule is
Class average over the year: 71%
Term 1 Units: Great Bear Rainforest, Metabolism, DNA, Gene Expression, Genetics
Term 2 Units: Genetics (Continued); Phylogenies, Speciation, Population and Community Dynamics; Macromolecular Self Assembly; Regulation of Gene Expression; Biological Energy Transformation
Biology Tutorials

• Salmon project ~ year long project where we test the DNA of salmon through learning gel electrophoresis strategies
  • Very minimal prep work, maximum 30 min per tutorial

Chemistry
Note: One professor is no longer teaching in Science One (John Sherman), but the other is staying (Guillaume Bussiere), so this may be different in your year

• Around biweekly unit quizzes (40%), five per term, each quiz around 30 minutes, double sided with around 15-25 questions, with both multiple choice and written answer questions
  • Around 74% averages
  • One quiz drop per term
• Assignments (10%) consisting of worksheets provided in class (takes around 30 minutes-1 hour per assignment) and questions submitted on a paid ($70 if I remember correctly) homework submission website called Achieve
• 2.5 hour final exam (50%) consisting of theory based questions, organic chemistry, multiple choice, and calculation
  • 69% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: 2-5 hours of work per week depending if there’s quizzes or assignments that week
Class average over the year: 75%
Term 1 Units: Chemical Bonding and Basics, Conformations, Stereochemistry, Thermodynamics, Electrochemistry
Term 2 Units: Kinetics, Quantum Chemistry, Intermolecular Forces (not really a whole unit, more like a supplementary lecture), Valence Bond Theory and Molecular Orbital Theory, Acid Base Chemistry, SN1 and SN2 Reactions
Chemistry Tutorials

• some coding based tutorials for quantum chemistry, little to no prep work, but knowledge of python coding is needed (but you will learn in Science One), submission of a worksheet for marks
• Organic chemistry worksheets, guided by the professors, but no submission necessary

Chemistry Labs (Chem 121, Chem 123 equivalents for term 1 and 2 respectively)

• Biweekly 3 hour lab sessions, where we are performing experiments and recording notes in our EDF
• Prep work: normally on our “off weeks”, we need to fill in our EDF and do the prep work (around 3-5 hours)
• In term 2, we also need to submit lab reports for each lab session (takes around 1-2 hours to write)

Overall class average (I forgot): around 85%
Physics

• Two long form assignments per term (20%, so 10% each assignment), each assignment generally consists of collecting data related to something learned in class, and analyzing it
  • Data collecting and analysis can take around 2-6 hours spread over the week (generally how long it takes to complete the assignment)
  • Around 80% averages
• Biweekly quizzes (30%), total 5 per term, one hour long open book online quizzes, consisting of 12 multiple choice or calculation questions
  • Around 75% averages
  • one quiz drop per term
• Prereadings assignments (4%) on WebWork (around once every two weeks, but very inconsistent schedule), consisting around 3-4 multiple choice/calculation based questions
  • Most often, there is no prereading assignment, but there are around 6-7 sections of prereading assigned per week of lecture of online OpenStax textbooks
    • Personally, I did not do them, but still survived, as the prereadings can take up to 3 hours depending on your reading speed and intended depth of read
• Homework assignments (6%) around once every two weeks consisting of 8-11 multiple choice and calculation based questions, requires a lot of knowledge of theory rather than plugging in numbers into equations
• 2.5 hour open book final (40%) consisting of both multiple choice (submitted on Canvas) and long written answer questions (paper copy, but submitted on Canvas)
  • 60% average in term 1, term 2 grades not available

Overall: around 2-5 hours of work per week depending on if there’s quizzes, long assignments, or assignments
Class average over the year: 76%
Term 1 Units: Measuring and Modelling Motion, Motion and Conservation Laws, Thermodynamics, Rotational Motion, Special Relativity
Term 2 Units: Waves, Quantum Mechanics, Electrostatics, Circuits, Magnetism and Magnetic Fields, Stellar Nucleosynthesis
Physics Tutorials

• Generally working on worksheets with the guidance of professors, very helpful for understanding the content better, but worksheets are not submitted

Physics Labs (Phys 119, Phys 129)

• 3 hour sessions per week, consisting of data collection and data analysis, learn plenty of Python and basic statistical tests (however, most labs in term 1 are very rushed, but in term 2 there is much more spare time)
• Prep work in term 1 takes around 1-2 hours per lab, consisting of submitting a Jupyter notebook with code so we understand the code we need to use in the lab
• Prep work in term 2 takes around 15 minutes - 2 hours, mostly doesn’t have as much prep work as term 1
  • Rarely Jupyter lab notebooks for submission, most weeks we just preread what we are doing in the lab and that is sufficient

Class average (I forgot): around 85%
Mathematics

• Midterms “tests” (25%) three per term, around 50 minutes, and consisting of 3-4 written questions (average is usually around 60%, but we have had two instances of failed average midterms resulting in scale [but don’t rely on a scale, it is very rare!]), however, we get one midterm drop per term, where it is not counted in our average
• Assignments (16%) consisting of three long assignments with written answers that take around 2-4 hours to complete, and weekly two WebWork assignments that are around 6-12 questions, calculation and theory based
• Weekly quizzes (9%), with one quiz drop per term
  • 15 minute quizzes with 3 questions, generally a little rushed but doable
• 2.5 hour final (50%)
  • Average 67% in term 1, term 2 grades not available
• Pre-reading assignments not for marks, takes around 2 hours per week (personally I didn’t do any and I was ok)

Overall workload: around 3-6 hours per week depending if there’s assignments, and midterms that week
Class average over the year: 72%
Term 1 Focus: Derivatives and ODE’s
Term 2 Focus: Integration
Term 1 Project (partnered)

• consists of a presentation and mind map of a topic that we research in depth using primary literature
• Around biweekly meetings with our mentor, and mini check in assignments

Overall workload: around 1 hour per week, but can be up to 4 hours when preparing for the presentation
Class average: around 85%
Term 2 Project (partnered)

• consists of a project designed personally by you and a partner to measure something and report on it in a 3000 word paper (90%) and a presentation to our peers (10%)
• Weekly check ins with mentor, or round table discussion with updates

Overall workload: anywhere from 0-8 hours a week depending on the complexity of the project
Class average: 75%
Summary
With that in mind, I want to provide some pros and cons of Science One:
Pros

• Unique connections to professors
• Community with fellow students, and can form a very close knit group of people who are like-minded
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do bad in one subject but good at the rest, you can “hide” the bad mark
• Networking with professionals at guest speakers
• Having all your classes in one classroom, to avoid rushing across campus between classes
• Allows you to see how all science subjects interconnect
• Provides a deeper knowledge of all topics, basically an honours version of first year Science
• No stress about designing your own timetable
• Research experience in term 2 project can help with research applications in the future
• Study spaces for only Science One students, very helpful especially during finals season

Cons

• grading is a little harsh (very harsh in biology in my opinion) and there is no scaling at the end of the school year, so you may not get into your desired major if it is very competitive to get into
• You also are not prioritized for major selection compared to mainstream (ie if you get a 70% and a mainstream student gets a 71%, they will be prioritized)
• Workload is very intense, sometimes it felt like there was no break for ourselves
• Mental health and stress levels
• Blended grade at the end of the school year, so if you do really good in one subject it may be hidden
• Busy workload means less free time, so some relationships outside of Science One may dwindle
• Very hard to take elective courses on top of Science One, because of the busy schedule and demanding workload (might make it harder to get into Computer Science because of its prerequisites)
• Science One only offers 28 credits (6 for two terms of, biology, physics, math, and chem each, with 2 for two terms of chemistry labs and physics labs each), meaning that our term 1 and term 2 work do not provide us any credit
  • Science One disqualifies students from taking SCIE 113 (a communication requirement), but does not give any credits for it

Personal Opinion
While I did enjoy Science One at the start of the school year because of the pros mentioned above, over the school year, I started taking an interest in a competitive major, which put a lot of stress on myself to achieve high marks. It almost felt like no matter how hard I tried and how well I thought I knew the topic, my mark was going to be low anyways because the way the content is tested. I feel like I shot myself in the foot when it comes to getting into my major as the application process is completely based on grades.
While I don’t know if I would have done better in mainstream (I probably wouldn’t have had as many friends, and therefore my mental health would be worse, and possibly it means that I don’t have as much motivation), I definitely think that I could have done better in mainstream if I had the same motivation I do now as their way of testing and marking may be a lot more lenient. However, I am almost certainly sure that if my cohort were placed into mainstream classes in first year, we would have achieved much higher grades than we did in Science One. However, I don’t know if being in Science One could have an effect on my performance in the years to come. I do acknowledge that over the year, I was able to develop really good study habits to manage the workload and also learned to prioritize my health, which will be beneficial in the future.
However, I have also noticed that there are some “hell weeks”, where we absolutely feel like dropping out. In both terms, after term 1 and 2 conferences, where we were away at camp for the weekend (we didn’t have the weekend to do schoolwork), there was a week where there were many overlapping assessments, such as math midterms, chemistry quizzes, math assignments, and chemistry assignments, etc. These are the assessments that ended up having class averages which were below expectations, which I feel wasn’t our fault at all.
In fact, we were burnt out, but because of our wonderful Student Council, we were able to have some assignments pushed back to alleviate some of our workload and reduce burnout. Special thanks to our chemistry professors, as they were always open to planning the chemistry quizzes on days that weren’t as bad for us, and even asked us which day we wanted the quizzes. I can tell they really care about our wellbeing and our performance.
In addition, even though Science One is marketed as being prestigious, most of the people I talk to don’t even know what Science One is, and the few who do know it, know it for its intensive nature and harsh marking scheme. There is no special treatment for Science One graduates that I know of except for the occasional “wow how did you survive?”.
Generally, I don’t regret doing Science One, but if I had the chance to restart first year, I would have chosen to go the mainstream route. I feel I would have been a lot less stressed and have gotten much better grades. However, I did meet so many motivated and amazing people this year, and have generally enjoyed some aspects such as camp. Unfortunately, because of my desired major, I have seen Science One as something that may have limited my options in the future.
Do I think Science One is for you?
These are my personal opinions and please don’t take this section as the final decider for you. Be sure to do more research!
To succeed in Science One, talent can only go so far. At some point you will be challenged academically, and you will doubt yourself. But what follow is what really determines if you are a good fit for Science One. If you want to give up and do something easier, go to mainstream. If you want to persevere and to learn more, Science One may be the right choice for you. If just you want the prestige of Science One, don’t do Science One, it is not as well known as their website may make it seem. If you want to go into Computer Science, Science One may not be for you since it has little connection to Computer Science and really lowers your mark.
If you really are hard set on a competitive major which requires high marks, consider mainstream, since it is very rare and very very difficult to do well in Science One. If you really love to learn more difficult concepts, have a tight community to be by your side, to have good connections to your professors, to get some research experience, AND grades aren’t a huge concern for you, Science One is for you.
Again, take my opinion with a grain of salt. You are ultimately the right person who can make the right choice for yourself. You know yourself the best. I hope this helped and I wish you all the very best in your studies, whether you decide to go Science One or not. Feel free to DM me or reply below if you have any further questions :)

TL;DR class descriptions/info to help underclassmen know about classes thru personal experiences. Add to it with extra info or questions!
To all the incoming freshmen or other underclassmen - you’ll prolly hear it a lot, but the time really does go by so fast. Enjoy it, soak it in, and step out of your comfort zone. Someone posted their classes thru Purdue to let other students know how those classes were (in case it was a niche/high-level class or it wasn’t on RateMyProfessor). That was pretty helpful to me so Imma do it too. I’ll let u kno how the courses went and what I can remember. I’m graduating from the College of Ag with a B.S. in Animal Sciences with a concentration in Biosciences and minors in Biotechnology and Real Estate. I came into Purdue with AP and Dual Credits, so some things I didn’t take. Anyway, here are the classes I took.
Anyone who’s taken any of these, please add on/say smth else if it has changed! Underclassmen, feel free to ask about them!
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FRESHMAN YEAR
AGR 101: Intro to Ag & Purdue (Multiple lecturers)
This course was THE intro course to Purdue and Ag (duh). It was a 1/2 semester course so I was done with it by week 8 and there was only a quiz. We were told the purpose of Purdue being land-grant and were just intro’d to the different parts/departments of the college of Ag + different success tips. This was also the class where u begin (already) thinking about your 4-year plan and create a LinkedIn. Easy A, just show up and learn about the college of Ag
AGR 114: Intro to ANSC Programs (Ashley York)
Also a 1/2 semester course that was done by Oct. This class just went into depth on what to expect as a student in the department. You may start work on a resumé, continue with planning or LinkedIn. Again, easy A, just show up. Also, Ashley was a saint helping me each year to make sure I was on track, even tho she wasn’t my advisor.
ANSC 102: Intro to Animal Ag (Elizabeth Karcher)
This class was the first “real” class of college. It was just an intro to different domestic species and the operations tht are part of animal ag. I think there was also a lab with the class where u were introduced to animals. Dr. Karcher also was a pretty good professor. Just pay attention - it’s sort of memorization for random facts about animals/common sense depending on what u took in high school/home life in a rural area. Should be easy A.
CHM 115: Gen Chem (Multiple lecturers)
Was never a fan of chemistry, so this class I went into with dread. I didn’t want to take AP Chem, and just dealt with it in college. Honestly, if u took honors/were a good student in hs chemistry, there should be no problem - was basically just like a high school class. There was a lab that went with this course, but because of COVID, I just had an online worksheet to do every week for pre-, in-, and post-lab so I can’t speak on it. If u aren’t inclined to chem, it might take a bit of extra studying, but I was never worried.
PHIL 110: Intro to Philosophy (Taylor Davis)
To be fair, I never exactly wanted to take this exact class. I came from a small town in the Midwest, so I wanted to be sure I wasn’t dumb or anything to the people, cultures, etc. around me. Told my advisor I wanted to take a class to give me more of a “world” perspective, so she suggested the class. It honestly was not bad at all. The professor knew what he was talking abt and very accepting of questions. We learned how to tear down an argument and build it up in several ways and talked about cool things like if we have free will, does God exist, etc. The only assignments that counted for the sem were a midterm and 2 papers - 1 small and 1 large philosophical essay over any topic from the class. Definitely changed my outlook, would recommend taking it. The first part of class was harder - making sure u understand why/how an argument does or doesn’t work - but the rest was fun/easy as the topics were just presented and talked about.
AGEC 217: Economics (Larry Deboer)
I found Econ as a topic in and of itself to be quite boring. Supply and demand, money, etc. The class kind of turned out that way. Its presented as basically supply/demand and reasons for changes to the them were slowly added throughout the semester. We had several assignments, but they were nothing terrible. Gotta give props to the professor, tho. He knew the class wasn’t great but made it fun. Also, the class is flexible for schedules as in some situations it can count for credit in place of ECON251.
POL 223: Intro to Environmental Policy (Tara Grillos)
When I first started, I thought the route I wanted was ANSC with some focus in environmental issues. That’s why I took this class. I don’t understand the “intro” part, really. The whole class was presented as just case studies for things that have happened that impacted policies from the late 1800s/early 1900s until recently. Some of the info was cool. I don’t remember much for assignments, but there was a group project/paper where u had to decide on an environmental issue, state how u plan to fix it, on what level of government, etc. It wasn’t a crazy class to be in as a freshman, but it was not what I was expecting for a POL class.
ANSC 181: Orientation to ANSC (Elizabeth Byers)
Another 1/2 semester course. This class, as far as I can remember, was just for showing u the possibilities available to u in ANSC. This was specifically ANSC. It went over every concentration and what jobs/salaries there were. This was also a class where we were assigned to create our resumés (professionally) and start networking. Just as, if not easier than the other 1/2 semester classes so far.
ANSC 221: Principles of Animal Nutrition (Dale Forsyth)
Sorry but not sorry for anyone in ANSC. The class is boring, but Dr. Dale Forsyth is such a sweet old man. This class is the intro for nutrition in ANSC. U will learn the different required nutrients, food stuffs (supplements and stuff too) that have these nutrients, what happens when animals are given too little of these, and how to balance/create rations for animals (ruminant and non-ruminant). As long as u are okay/good with algebra, there shouldn’t be a problem. U just need to solve systems of equations in Excel to get the right weight of a food stuff. Homework was balancing rations. Exams looked at that + nutrients and their deficiencies. Dr. Forsyth also talks fast and doesn’t slow down because he has a lot to get thru. Come into the class knowing it prolly isn’t going to be very fun, but u need to know it. Try to find something interesting in the whole.
BIOL 111: Fundamentals of Bio II (Sean Humphrey)
Not sure how this class really is. I came into college loving biology and being (not to sound like an ass) great at it. To me, it was easy and relearning biology from high school for a bit. To others it may be a bit more difficult. There is just a lot of memorization. The professor was nice and answered my questions when I had them and explained in great detail if I was confused. I can’t remember any assignments I turned in, or anything about exams. Overall, I thought it was an easy class, but be the judge urself.
CHM 116: Gen Chem (Multiple lecturers)
Just a continuation of CHM 115. It picked up where it left off. Got a little harder, but it was nowhere as hard as TV or anything makes it. There are definitely topics that show up from hs again, but a lot is new. Wasn’t fun for this class switching lecturers every few weeks since they each had their own lecture style. Again, there was a lab section, but because of COVID, it was a worksheet. Not the worst class, but a meh class.
MA 16020: Applied Calc II (Alexandros Kafkas)
The first and only time I had to take math here. In hs I took MA 165 and thought it was a breeze (prolly bc it was hs). To anyone wondering, MA 165 SHOULD count in place of MA 16010 in college of ag. With that in mind, I went into the course knowing what Purdue math is known for, but still keepin an open mind with my abilities. I’m really proud of the grade I got, too. I think a lot of the course depends on the lecturer - mine was good at teaching us new concepts. Learn all you can about the lecturer beforehand, find out if they are good, and see it for yourself. We had quizzes in class every week (MWF) over the previous lecture and homework thru LON-CAPA that was usually due the day aftebefore (Tues, Thurs, Sun, I think). The quizzes and homework were good starting problems. The exams were tough and harder than quizzes/hw. If u’ve done well in math, but aren’t a prodigy or someone who can put in hrs of work, don’t expect to get likely higher than mid-70s on exams. It was common to get around a 50-60%. They do curve “if it’s necessary” but it is ALWAYS necessary.
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SOPHOMORE YEAR
AGR 201: Communicating Across Cultures (Pamala Morris)
To start…BOO. Was not a fan of this class. Felt like it was a money grab and busy work. It was required for some international understanding credits. The content wasnt interesting but for sure important. We were taught to basically be good ppl and about the different types of hardships that groups of ppl could go thru (ageism, sexism, racism, classism, etc.). We were required to buy the book, which was $50, but written by the prof and from what I assume was her website. I don’t recall ever using it unless it was necessary for an assignment. The class helps u relate and think critically, but is done in a piss-poor way. It could hv been the COVID aftermath where lecture was done virtually but we had a class later on with other students for a “lab”. Quizzes were easy, and overall easy, but so bad too.
SPAN 201: Spanish III (Nancy Reyes)
I know I’ve said this already abt other courses, but this still applies. This course was 100% a high school class. I did a placement test into this course (after 3 years in HS Spanish - Fr. to Jr. - with a 2 year gap of not learning) and got all credit for Spanish 1 and 2. Took it for international understanding credits. This course made sure u knew the basics again, spent a lot of time in past tense, then ended w maybe a month in subjective and future tense. There were a few speaking assignments and cultural readings/lectures. Was encouraged to speak Spanish for class, but the prof knew that couldn’t happen but still helped us all. Exams included MC, writing, and listening. Not sure if this is the same for other languages, but hopefully it is.
CHM 255 + 25501: Orgo + Lab (Elizabeth Parkinson)
Dreaded this class, but went in confidently. The class sucks, no other way abt it. It was a lot of memorization and practice. A lot of the “basic” stuff started sticking about halfway thru the semester. It doesn’t help that I stopped going to lecture about 3/4 thru the sem. It wasn’t as hard as expected, but it was still quite hard. The prof was amazing at making the content interesting. Labs were ran by GTAs. Depending on the section your GTA may not kno anything. The labs also did not go along with the lecture - they are 2 separate courses that can individually be passed or failed. Exams were as you would expect with the course - a few high spots among a crowd of C’s and D’s. The lab had multiple things due every week w the semester started. It was expected to do ur pre-lab at start of week, turn in ur in-lab immediately after finishing lab, then the previous week’s post-lab/final lab was due. The lab also holds the policy that if u don’t show up dressed right or sleep late, if you don’t show up within 10/15min of start that u can’t show up and will receive a 0 for the lab.
ANSC 230: Physiology of Domestic Animals (Rod Allrich)
This class taught me a lot. Each week was a different body system and learning info regarding animals individually. Things were taught in general as overarching concepts, but then things were applied as necessary for individual species of animals. Everything was brought up from the digestive system to the endocrine system. The class met 4 days a week and had a quiz once a week. There was no lab when I took the course. The specific professor I had was also interesting to say the least. Dr. Allrich is a funny, good man, but he does not use or create slides. Instead he uses his own website to post info (usually from Merck veterinary) abt whatever it is he wanted u to learn. In class he would just ramble on about what he thought was important. ANYTHING he said could be test material - no matter what (I was told by an upperclassman to remember that his favorite pie was sour cream and raisin pie bc it was a quiz question they had). Now, there is a lab that goes with the course. Also, if u hv Cabot the course material and class are much harder than with Rod. There are expectations, lectures, and more. Regardless of the professor, the information that was taught was useful, remembered, and interesting. In any class, Rod typically will have this structure but will grade easily. Quizzes will be to write statements of fact and exams won’t exist or will be take-home with only having 5 paragraphs to write using a word bank
ABE 226: Biotech Lab I (Kari Clase)
This was the first course I took for my minor in Biotechnology. I did not know what to expect going in as I didn’t grasp the scope of biotech. The course was ran well. The whole class is a wet lab where u are in the scientific process trying to find a new species of bacteriophage. U dig in dirt, do some pipetting, use beakers, make plates, isolate DNA, and send it off. Any research u do/finding a phage gets put into a national database for phage research. U do hv lab notebooks that get checked, but hv an outline to go off. There were several quizzes and deliverables that had us learn about phage more, or aseptic technique. It was a good class. U do have to buy a lab coat (which is kinda cool). Easy class that kickstarted my interest.
CHM 256 + 25601: Orgo II + Lab (David Thompson)
This class was disastrous. It was me, the content AND the professor as to why that was the case. This was just a continuation of course and lab. The new content was harder to wrap my head around, + I stopped going to the lectures about halfway thru the sem. To make matters worse, the class was early and the prof was speaking in mach turtle. I would listen to the lectures a day later so I could 2x speed thru them and the man was sounding like a normal person talked. This class was harder than the previous course. If u didn’t like CHM 255, sorry this is worse. The lab was just the same as the previous sem, but the GTAs changed. Again, labs didn’t go with the lecture and are 2 individual courses to be passed or failed separately. I passed but the class made me rethink my life once or twice and was potentially the worst class I ever took.
STAT 301: Elementary Stat Methods (Spencer Hamrick)
I did not enjoy this course a single bit - besides the professor. The course throws, what I felt like, was the entire concept, terms, rules, designs of statistics at u. It was a lot at once for me. I felt like there was a disconnect between what I was learning and in what ways it applied to me. It wasn’t too difficult, but the class was boring. There was also a lab section that was not great either. We were forced to use SRSS. There were homework assignments on a different software/website that equally were boring. The exams were harder than expected - there were some sections with questions with such small disparities that the answer came down to a difference of 1 word in a sentence. Overall, there’s a lot to learn and it’s all pretty basic to give a general understanding, but it was done poorly. If it was done better, it likely would have been an easy course. This course tho is also one of the worst classes I took.
AGRY 320: Genetics (Joseph Anderson)
There’s not much to say about this course. It was genetics. It felt like another continuation from the end of BIOL 111. It built a foundation for DNA, chromosomes, and went from there. There was a lot of higher thinking and content that was build upon thru the semester. It was a bit of memorization, but the content was fun. There were hotseat/iclicker questions for each lecture. Prof. Anderson was also really good at presenting the info.
AGRY 321: Genetics Lab (Aneesha Kulkarni)
This was the lab that went with AGRY 320. It was separate from the lecture. I do not believe it ever followed along with the lecture. The semester was spent with Arabidopsis. From the plant, we extracted DNA, did PCR, did mutant analysis, etc. The whole semester led up to a final lab report for what had been done that semester. There were also some small lab assignments that needed done. The class was also serious about attendance which could have made a major impact on grades. It is also typically ran by a GTA. It was fun and I enjoyed it. There was never really any work that needed to be done outside of class and at times it let out early.
ANSC 333: Physiology of Reproduction (Jonathan Pasternak)
This was a good class. The content focused on female anatomy/physiology first, then male anatomy/physiology, then on interactions and changes to the body through hormones and development. I found the class to be interesting as there is a lot more that goes into reproduction that u think. It’s a lot of cool info thrown out, but in a manageable way. Notes can go fast n there is a lot of terms and items to pay attention to. There was also a lab portion to this class. The lab went with what we learned in lectures. It was hands-on learning and doing things. It might sound gross but we had a lab where we took fetuses from a pig uterus to weigh and look at. We also looked at pig semen under a microscope. The professor was obsessed with histology. Expect to look at many slides of different tissues and know how/why they differ, where they are from, etc. I don’t remember assignments, but there was a lab practical that involved many things. Overall, it was a fun class.
ABE 227: Biotech Lab II (Kari Clase)
This class was busy. There were lots of things that needed to be done often (oddly no true deadlines it felt like). This was the dry lab portion. After ABE 226, any DNA that was collected sufficiently was sequenced and the data came back. That’s essentially what the semester was for. With the DNA from a phage, u must make entries to find out the start/stop site of genes, gene function; BLAST the genes, gather evidence there is truly a gene, and more. There were some small assignments with deliverables. There was also a larger project that was put into the undergrad research symposium. From the DNA, a small group chose a gene and researched. A lot of busy work and nights up, but there was a final genome announcement and research went into real life.
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JUNIOR YEAR
HIST 33805: History of Human Rights (Rebekah Klein-Pejsova)
This class was a requirement for an upper level humanities course. This class was easy and interactive. There were some readings that had to be done outside of class, but not much else was required. U would read, then come to class, fill out a discussion, and talk. The content started back in history and moved all the way to just beyond the Holocaust. There were a couple writing assignments that were like a paragraph. The final was to write a paragraph on when u thought the history of human rights began. Again, easy and almost no work required.
BCHM 307: Biochem (Barbara Golden)
I loved this course. Dr. Golden was soft spoken but she made sure u got the info u needed. The content felt like a mix of genetics and chem. The course was biology-sided for those that hate chem. This course went back to the central dogma and such, but then included a lot of metabolism and inner workings of cells. There were parts involving the Citric acid cycle and other “basic” biology concepts that went into further explanation from a different perspective. I believe there were also hotseat/iclicker questions. If u liked biology or genetics, u should like this course, too.
BCHM 309: Biochem Lab (Orla Hart)
Just like the genetics lab, this lab did content that led up to something big at the end. The lab was spent learning basic lab technique, then focused on isolating and purifying LDH from a Bradford assay. There were lab reports/assignments, but they all help and lead to the big lab report. It was a fun time. Dr. Hart was a fantastic prof for the course as she fully knew the topic, always helped out, and had high expectations. She would also joke and talk with us. She shared about her family (she’s Irish), her cats, n more. + she would talk with you in her office, where she had Ghirardelli chocolates to eat. There was a written midterm + u are required to wear a lab coat and goggles during lab.
ANSC 311: Animal Breeding & Genetics (Donna Lofgren)
This was another class that I liked a lot. For anyone interested in this topic, it is not what u expect. The class is not punnet squares and seeing what traits u can see. This class was a lot of math. You had to find the allelic/gene frequencies, var, covariance, selection intensity, generation interval, EBV, etc. I cannot stress that this class is a lot of math (prolly 75/25 to 85/15 for math/concepts). It is, however, one of the few genetics restrictive selectives for ANSC (if I remember right). There is other content too, learning about how to breed animals, components of breeding and genetics, etc. There is a lecture and lab. The lab is when homework was intro’d and we were given time to ask questions/complete it. The lab lasted 2 hours, and usually there would be several homework problems left. There was also a large project that used a sim (mine was beef, other years used lamb/sheep). I would have to cull and breed to get better genetics, get rid of disease, etc. The better the offspring the better. This sim was paired with an arrow chart and written report. Lot of work, but a lot of fun.
ANSC 326: Applied Non-Ruminant Nutrition (John Radcliffe)
This class was boring. Unless u love animal nutrition, it’s hard for it not to be. This was like a continuation of ANSC 221, but only focused on (essentially) pigs. Once again, just learning the background/basic info for feeding animals, providing nutrients, and balancing/creating rations. Also, this class also uses a lot of Excel - more than ANSC 221. There was a final for the course, but it was only a 1/2 semester course. There may have also been a lab section, but the work typically finished quickly.
ANSC 446: Companion Animal Mgmt (Rod Allrich)
Another course with Rod. It was basically nonsense. U learned what it took to keep companion animals healthy and managed. Specific diseases/interests were looked at for animals during class + issues/problems with animal clinics, shelters, etc. There wasnt much to learn. Since it was Rod, there were no slides. Anything written could be tested. Students had to present some issue with companion animals for points twice in the semester. There was also an animal business plan due at the end of the semester. It was required to describe the location, services, employees, their benefits, etc. There were no exams, but there were his quizzes - u were provided movies to watch and write a 1-page summary/reflection on what u saw. Once u get used to Rod, his classes are some of the easiest to ever take.
MGMT 200: Intro Accounting (Terra Maienbrook)
This was my first class for my Real Estate minor. If u have taken any math class at college u should be fine. This course is an intro. U learn the accounting equation, debits, credits, depreciation, and interpreting it through balance sheets. It can get a little confusing when things are broken down further, but as long as u pay attention there shouldn’t be trouble. Just remember what debits and credits do and u should pass the course. There were assignments that helped understand what needed to be done and how the content u are learning works, but it turns into busy work later on. If u get 1 small error as ur doing ur balance sheet, then the whole problem will be wrong and it probably won’t tell u what the error is. The professor also used hotseat/iclicker for attendance, so make sure to show up. She did let u come to any section at any time and still do the attendance. Exams weren’t difficult if u pay attention and do well in lecture and homework. If u do well, the prof would even email saying that u did well.
MGMT 304: Intro to Financial Mgmt (Phil Baeza)
This class was okay. Part of it could have been it was the prof’s 2nd semester teaching here. The class was a lot of basic info for management/econ and was also a requirement for the Real Estate minor. U are taught corporate finance + the goals of it, cash flows and a bunch of math with related terms (NPV, PV, NWC, NOI, etc.) None of it was exactly difficult to figure out. The class itself wasn’t bad content-wise. Once u learned the information, it was there. There was a lot of Excel for solving problems. If u aren’t good with Excel - make that a priority. The course also had exams, but you were allowed a typed cheat sheet for each. Besides the exams, there was also a case competition (so many of these in MGMT classes). Info was gathered about a company and with a group had to decide to approve or disapprove of their loan request. Overall, not terrible, but hard to sit thru.
ANSC 303: Animal Behavior (Marisa Erasmus)
This was an interesting class to take. It was pretty fun (and I ended up as a TA, my last semester). The course is essentially psychology in animals. You learn conditioning, scientists who contributed to the study, types of interactions, and types of behaviors (maintenance, maternal, social, play, sickness, etc.) and how they are in animals. The course also has a lab section with it. The lab section is essentially to allow for time for the zoo project, although there were some labs that went to the ASREC to observe those animals. For the project u are provided an animal at the zoo to research, go to the local zoo, and observe them. When ur back you create a presentation for the research you did involving the animal and enrichment provided by the zoo. In class, there were several quizzes over lecture content plus a midterm. There were also assignments, but many of them had some involvement with the zoo. The class also had no final, but there was a final quiz. The professor did talk fast sometimes, but as long as you typed or rewrote notes later, there was no issue.
STAT 503: Stat Methods for Biology (Yan Xing)
Unsure of why, but I loved my grad level stats courses. They were much easier and fun to learn than STAT 301 (so if u hate STAT301, give 503 a try). This course basically started at the beginning. The content started with learning sample vs population, statistic vs parameter, plus sample unit, size, variables, and variable types. The course became harder as time went on, but nothing was super difficult. The topics included basic stats (mean, stdev, var, types of distributions, unions/intersection), marginal probability, tree diagrams, binomial distributions, chi-square, ANOVA, hypothesis testing, and multiple comparisons (like bonferonni). The information was always presented in a way catered to life sciences (crazy). The lectures not presented in class, but expected to be watched beforehand. I did not go to lecture, but watched the lecture videos on my own. That was enough understanding to easily pass. There were homework assignments that were due every other week. Start them sooner than later, you’ll need the time! This class was also my introduction to coding in R. I had no experience in any coding beforehand but easily got the hang of it, especially since the professor provided tutorials. It was used for every homework, basically. There were also quizzes that weren’t too difficult. The class was not easy, but it was fun.
ABE 512: Good Regulatory Practices (Keri Clase/Stephen Byrn)
This was the final class I needed to get my Biotechnology minor. It was terrible. The professors were nice, but there was no structure. The lectures were about regulatory science and dealt a lot with information from the FDA. The course went over the good and required practices required for the creation, testing, passing, and distribution of medical equipment and/or drugs. Every small detail and information that was not in lectures was required to be known. There were quizzes and assignments that all got turned in through Gradescope. The quizzes are where random information was expected to be known. The assignments were deliverables which asked some question or inquired about a part of the process and write about them. The final was a final deliverable that had to effectively be a conglomeration of the other deliverables (but not just copying and pasting). The class wasn’t hard, but very poorly set up.
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SENIOR YEAR
CSR 103: Intro to Personal Finance (Wookjae Heo)
I just needed a filler class in my schedule. I figured it could help learn some “real world” stuff that maybe I wasn’t sure about. The class was completely online with provided lecture videos. It was very easy and what would be expected. Topics went from how to manage debt and make sure you can get loans, to being informed about credit cards and insurance. All the information was easy to get through. There were writing assignments to be done basically every week. The professor would have you read a paper that 50/50 he had a part in writing, and answer questions. Some things were interactives that just needed to be completed (regardless of how well). Not a bad class. It will definitely pad your GPA - everything taught should be common knowledge.
MGMT 370: Real Estate Fundamentals (Lindsay Relihan)
This course was quite informative. It was an average level of difficulty. There was a lot of information that went into it - I mean it is a fundamentals class. Topics that were talked about included foundations of real estate, what is real estate, valuation of property, lending, time value of money, multiple financial ratios, and taxation. There were multiple assignments - some writing and others math. The writing was for discussions (5 of them) about certain papers provided or certain book chapters. The math assignments were problem sets to get done for what we had learned. They gave plenty of time to finish them. Beyond that, there was also another case study/competition. For this a company was selected and given potential locations to move to. You had to decide if it was worth it for the company to move locations.
ANSC 345: Animal Health Management (Rod Allrich)
For this class, I just needed to take another ANSC course. This class was practically the same as any other Rod Allrich course. We learned how to keep animals healthy and basically many different common diseases of animals. From his website, we would get brought to a page talking about some disease or medical problem that could potentially happen and have to write a 1-page summary/reflection. This happened each week. He still did in person quizzes with statements of fact. Once again, students had to make videos/presentations for the class to present on some problem. There was no final exam. Did not learn too much from this one, but it was a great space filler and GPA booster.
ANSC 481: Contemporary Issues in ANSC (Barry Delks)
This is essentially the final push for ANSC students. As seniors, you take this course to prepare you for the real world. Lectures were given by guests who the professor brought in. They would talk about their specific company, career, or niche and any issues they were seeing there plus how to stop them. The professor would then have groups get together to discuss ways to fix the problems and have the guest comment on what was said. There were also assignments to be done, but they were very easy. They were just things to make sure you were on track for a job and/or graduation (having a 30-sec intro, making a cover letter, redoing your resumé). Part of the class was also just attending the career fair.
STAT 512: Applied Regression Analysis (Tiantian Qin)
Like my other grad level stat course, I absolutely loved this one, too. This class was a DIST course. This class solely focused on regressions (simple linear and multiple linear regressions). Topics for the course started with the basics (terms of regression like betas, Xs, SSE, SSR, SST, and diagnostics) and moved to more difficult content (lack-of-fit-testing, global f-testing, transformations, ANOVA, marginal effect, coefficient of partial determination, multicollinearity, and more). I found the content interesting and it was fun to learn about. Nothing was too difficult and could always be asked about through office hours. There were homework assignments that corresponded with the lectures that were due every other week. Again, take the time. The course also used R coding for everything that was done. The course also had a couple exams to do. But the biggest thing was the regression project. This required a group of students to get together, find a set of data, and use it to form a regression analysis. There was a lot of coding involved, but it was fun parsing through and wrangling data.
MGMT 375: Real Estate Law (Cecelia Harper)
This course has been super personal and fun to take. This is one of my last courses for the Real Estate minor and I am glad to have taken it. The course goes over any and all laws that relate to real estate in some way. The course talked about property rights, subsurface rights, common laws, easements on land, financing/lending, prenuptial agreements and other contracts. Most grades come from exams, though. There were 3 during the semester plus the final. All exams (except the final) were open note and book. The final we were allowed a 1-page cheat sheet that was front and back. The only grades that did not come from exams were from the contracts we drafted. You create your own lease agreement and purchase agreement, then pair with someone to mesh them together for a new one of each. I think the course is particularly made tho by the professor. She is a practicing real estate lawyer who knows what she is talking about. She would set it up so the class was very personal and we each asked her questions. It was interesting because she could have stories about clients to connect things from class. She would always entertain questions. There was no extra credit, except for when she would randomly do attendance. The course structure could be changing quite a bit now, tho.
MGMT 43901: Real Estate Investment & Development (Michael Eriksen)
The other last course for my real estate minor. This class was a step away from what I thought it was going to be. This course is geared toward commercial development and the business side, as I felt. There was nothing really said about personal/residential property. The course topics included an overview of real estate, ways/types of investment, estimation of cash flows for commercial real estate and finance terms associated, providing loans/financing, the roles of a developer, and taxes. The course didn’t have many plain assignments. These were Excel files with attached questions and instructions. If you could follow the instructions you did well, plus the assignments built on each other, except the last one - this one used ARGUS software. The majority of the work was spent on a case competition (go figure lol). Students were put into groups to select a plot of land to develop for some commercial purpose and provide the financials, timeline, and reasoning for the decision. There were several required tasks to be done for this assignment, plus a presentation at the end. There was no final exam, but there were 2 midterms. You could use an excel sheet with notes throughout, tho. The professor was good. He catered to his students and asked questions about how we thought the class was going. A good class to take.
BCHM 421: R For Molecular Biosciences (Pete Pascuzzi)
I took this class because my previous classes had made me really like working in R. I took the class to continue on with that. If you do not have a basic understanding of R, it may be a slight learning curve. The class only met on Wednesday and Friday for 2 hours. There wasn’t a lecture every class, but there was usually some work to be done. All assignments were done through R and could typically be finished in the class period. If this wasn’t possible, it could usually be finished the next class. The class just showed different things in R, from graphics and data wrangling to how to process gene ontology. There were homeworks and labs, with labs being more involved. There was a midterm that was open resource and a project. The project was done at the very end with groups who put together code from previous lectures/labs to create an RShiny document. The class did have a final, again open resource, but any graduating seniors did not have to take the final. There was an opportunity for extra credit by creating an R notebook for all your notes for functions and lines of code. The professor was also nice, helpful, and willing to put in effort to match you.
ANSC 351: Meat Science (Yuan Kim)
This class is basically just biology plus some extra info for meat processing. If you have taken muscle biology (or just bio) you will do well. The class does have some busy work, tho. The first part of the class was solely muscle biology. After this, the class went into meat quality (including analysis, factors affecting quality, etc.), parts of production (packaging, freezing, heating), slaughter and that process, then into meat safety. The content was interesting to learn and easy to take in. The class did have several assignments. After every class was a lecture quiz, each week there was a reflection, and every so often there was a case study. Case studies involved reading a case and providing a response to address the cause of a problem and fix it. The whole semester, there was a project involving some topic in meat science (novel tech, meat in diet, lab-grown meat, alternatives, etc.). Groups got together at the beginning of the semester to make a decision on the topic. Then, throughout the semester, groups met with TAs, wrote drafts of a paper, critiqued other student papers, and made a presentation to show the class. Throughout the semester, you have to work 2 shifts at the butcher block or write a giant essay on a book, too. The class also required 4 exams and a final. If you showed up to every class, you were able to skip the final. Dr. Kim loves the topic and wants you to learn, but most of the grading will be done by TAs.

So I’ve been making a diagram/worksheet of a bunch of interconnected metabolic pathways in biochemistry. It’s massive. I think the canvas size is literally 100x100” 300dpi.
I know that probably wasn’t the best way to go about it, but what’s a better way?
Also, is there a way to scale it down when I’m done and NOT lose quality?

I've been drinking most of my adult life daily with a few exceptions for 16 years. I had been forced quit (due to deployment and restriction) for about 6 months and I was so happy but as soon as I had access to alcohol again I started right back where I was when I left. I'm an Iraq war vet, I turned 21 in Iraq and as soon as I got back I started hitting the bottle hard but only on the weekends. Somehow in 3 years that morphed into daily and held steady with the exception of a few short stints on ships where I didn't have access to alcohol. The longest I'd gone without a drink in the last 8 years was roughly 70 days. I learned to limit how much alcohol was in the house to one 750ml bottle of vodka or I wouldn't stop there. I would often drink more than I intended to and I nearly got caught still drunk the next day at work, I learned to cover my tracks so well. I actually took the job as the drug and alcohol program manager for years just to avoid any detection or suspicion and then after that close call at work, I switched over to the drug and alcohol testing job so that I would always know when a "random" test was going to be performed. I had dedicated start times I had to start drinking by or else I wouldn't be able to metabolize it all before the next morning. If anything interfered with these start times it would cause me incredible anxiety and frustration. I built my life around these start times meaning my wife and children knew I had to be home by 4pm or I would get increasingly agitated. For nearly 14 years my wife put up with it, even covered for me, even supplied me just to keep the peace. She had many times begged me to stop but she kept my secret like it was her own. I had convinced her that once I achieved certain career goals that I would "turn myself in" to my chain of command and let them know everything and I would be sent for treatment and finally be able to stop drinking.
Well, that happened, albeit a couple years after I had achieved my stated career goal. I kept dragging my feet to do the right thing because it was never the right time. The time came, and I let the cat out of the bag. Everyone has been so supportive, I work in the military medical community, the doctor managing my care is basically my boss. She put me on medically managed withdrawal and then I am going to do 35 days of intensive inpatient treatment with a minimum 1 year supervised follow on care.
So here I am, coming up on my first 48 hours sober...... likely a week out from admission to inpatient treatment, they're still working out the paperwork. I am happy that it's all out in the open now and that it is out of my control because if I could sabotage it or back out, I probably would have, which is why I started a process I couldn't stop. My entire career I've never been held accountable for anything because of my talents and value, people always seemed to look the other way or I would find a way to get out of something and no one ever challenged me. That environment just continued to feed my addiction, being insulated from consequences gave me no reason to stop and face the uncomfortable part that I would have to change or eventually it would all come crashing down or I would die an early death with my wife and children only knowing what I truly was and taking that shame with them.
I am actually terrified of what the next year is going to look like, how it's going to be without my oldest friend alcohol. So much of my life has revolved around alcohol and I don't really know how or why it started. I had plenty of demons in my life growing up and the war didn't help any, this lifestyle of high stress didn't help any, I really used my wife having a brief affair nearly 3 years ago as an excuse to fully embrace my alcoholism but the problem existed well before that and the root cause of the affair is likely years of neglect and emotional abuse caused by the alcoholism. I was an alcoholic when she met me, I went through our wedding, the birth of our three children, I achieved one of the highest honors the Navy has to offer, I constantly was ranked in the top three out of groups of hundreds of competitors on performance evaluations, I travelled to more than 35 countries, I won many awards, honors, I completed my college degree while working full time, with just the energy put in between 5am and 4pm, it's crazy to think of what I could have achieved without devoting so much of my mental capacity and energy into fueling, planning, protecting and continuing my alcohol addiction for so many years.
I stand now on the precipice of having to take a hard look at all the wasted potential, all the missed opportunities, all the consequences and regrets of this single substance. To the day I found out about the affair if I lay dying in a hospital bed with a sudden illness I would have told you with a stone face and a steel heart that my only true regret was not having a son. I have 2 teenage daughters who's lives until that point had been exponentially better than mine had ever been by their age. They had seen the world, travelled Europe and wanted for nothing. I wasn't even the worst drunk, I was the kind of drunk who would get happy and play music and dance with them, tell them crazy stories and put on mini comedy routines, give them affection and fatherly advice and be tender and loving with them. But there was always a dark side, underlying anger that they were never the brunt of, but their mother often was. If she would make a mistake I would criticize and belittle her for making such an obviously stupid mistake. I would remind her that it was my hard work that allowed her to be a stay at home mom and finish her degrees and how much the children absolutely loved and valued me. About how we never had to worry about money and got to travel and do things that other people only dream of. If she had the slightest complaint about my behavior, it was because she was ungrateful. I thought a lot of things she would experience would make up for the lack of attention, I thought surely that when I am making a speech and I'm the center of attention, center of adoration of my peers and I would praise her in public about how I couldn't have done it without her, I thought it must make her so proud to see that, or when she would run into someone at the store or at the bank or anywhere and they would say "oh! you're NavyGeiger's wife, oh I just love him, isn't he the best!" I thought it must fill her with pride to be married to a man with such public standing. I was wrong and I see now how she could think it was all an act because she never heard it from me directly, I never told her I appreciated her, I never told her the things in private she would hear me say about her in public, she thought it was all part of the show, how I trick everyone into thinking I'm such a nice and good person worthy of admiration and respect. I really didn't know a woman needed these things, in fact I had been under the impression for years that women ONLY cared about social status and resources, that's why I was able to land a smoking hot wife like her. Women like her could take their pick of the litter and she had chosen me because I had built an empire of social status, because everyone loved and adored me, looked up to me, other women were constantly throwing themselves at me, men wanted to be me and women wanted to be with me. I thought that must thrill her, she wouldn't want some sucker who worships the ground she walks on and just lives to tell her she's so smart and pretty and lives in her orbit like a pathetic puppy dog, but that's exactly what happened. Someone I would have considered a low life looser, the pathetic kiss less virgin neckbeard, of lower-than-average intelligence, way lower than average physical attractiveness and extremely lower career ambition and achievement.
But he was nice to her, told her she was smart, told her she didn't deserve to be ignored. One of those, well if I was your husband I would bring you flowers every day and I would always tell you how pretty you were and bring you flowers, etc. Well, that's what happened right under my nose because I was so sure that every day she was counting her blessings to be with such a high-value man. When I found out I was completely taken by surprise. It was like 10 9/11's and a couple Pearl Harbors in the space of an hour.
Humbled beyond belief, brought down to my stomach, you know the higher you are the harder you fall. I was mentally, emotionally, spiritually, crushed. I'd never been dealt a blow like that, it couldn't have been more custom designed to break me in every way possible. I had even been sober at the time because I could sense there was something off between us and I was making every effort to make her happy with me but by then it was too late. This guy had his hooks in her, he was constantly in her ear telling her it was a lie, that I was fake, insincere, don't believe he cares about you, he just uses you, the tenderness is a trick, you know the real him, don't be fooled!
I think the thing that hurt the most was that I honestly had dedicated myself fully to restoring and repairing our relationship and every overture was completely based on my absolute unconditional love for her and a desire to be a better husband.
So when I had caught them, it was literally the day after she had finally" sealed the deal" by having brief and disappointing intercourse with him at a shopping mall parking lot. Before that she had been kissing him at work and playing a little grab ass on breaks, but mostly just messaging about how much they wished they could be together and it was wrong etc., but that morning I had pushed her over by giving her an ultimatum through text message that I needed to know she was all in on our relationship and making it better or I would leave her because I had done everything I could and she just wouldn't believe I was for real. As the nausea set in from what she had done and how wrong and utterly disappointing it had been, I was at work downloading couples activity worksheets to do when I got home that would hopefully strengthen our communication. It gutted her to walk in the door, hours after the deed, and see me there smiling and so excited to begin our journey to better communication. She immediately went to the shower and cried for a very long time. I took the opportunity for the first time in our relationship to bug her phone by basically setting up WhatsApp web on my PC so I would be able to see all incoming and outgoing messages from my PC. She came out of the shower and went to take the dog on a 2 hour walk which was really just her going over to her closest friend's house and telling her that she was leaving the country (we were overseas at the time) she wanted to stop doing what she was doing. She couldn't continue the affair if they were on different continents. I didn't really think anything of it except when she didn't return for 2 hours so I looked at her messages on my newly set up wire tap and found out she had gone to her friends house. I decided to confront her as to what took so long when she got home, as the time dragged out, I had already started drinking and I continued to get more and more aggravated, I wanted to see if she would tell me where she really was. She came home and I grilled her, she lied, said she had gone to the dog park and lost track of time, wouldn't budge and inch, I berated her, called her a liar and then went to bed.
The next day, she was leaving for a trip to Rome with friends, I hadn't been able to go because of short notice, so as I'm putting my socks on I fire up WhatApp web on my PC and I see she is getting a message asking why she deleted him from instagram? She tells him she was in a panic because she thought I might know something because I grilled her really hard last night and kept calling her a liar, she thought I might take her phone, so she deleted him.
This immediately stopped me in my tracks, who the fuck was this guy? Why would she delete him if he was just a work friend? So he proceeds to tell her that she needs to be more careful and he was worried that she was going to cut him off because he wasn't in his best form in the parking lot yesterday, but promises he's usually better. Asks if she wants to talk about it. She really doesn't so she doesn't say anything and then, because he's an idiot and wanted to fill the space, starts promising he can perform and deliver on all their talk but he was under a lot of pressure and starts asking her what parts she liked, like "did you like how I felt inside you? to which she replies "yes".
It was surreal to see it unfold in real time. I immediately messaged her and told her to get home right away. Her friends had rented a van and were still picking up people in the area so she hadn't hit the road for Rome yet. She told them she needed to leave so they dropped her off, it was the longest 10 minutes of both of our lives I'm sure. What happened next is a blur but she broke down immediately when confronted and admitted everything. I called into work and told them that I was putting in for two weeks of leave and sorry for the short notice but something personal had come up. I had to bring in some papers that I had brought home to work on so I drove into work and dropped them off, then on the way home my first and only stop was the liquor store. I bought the biggest bottle of vodka I could find and took a swig of it in the parking lot.
Alcohol had always been my coping mechanism, this time I couldn't even wait til I got home, I was in such a panic, I just wanted that feeling to go away. I spent the next two weeks drinking from the moment I woke up til the moment I passed out, interrogating her, berating her, demanding access to everything, throwing out all of her clothes that she might have even been near him with, her entire panty drawer because they were all "tainted" I searched every piece of property she owned, tore up the entire house looking for anything he might have given her or she might have been hiding. All the while drinking, just reflecting on that time period right now has given me the strongest craving for alcohol I've had during this entire period of sobriety. I've had to stop a minute to let this one crash over me.
For me that's when I went from being a functional alcoholic to a full-blown unrepentant alcoholic.
I had been sober for you and it wasn't enough to stop you! I had given you the one thing you had asked me for over the years and it wasn't enough for you! I resolved to INFLICT myself on her as an alcoholic, to double down on drinking whenever I wanted and however much I wanted with zero guilt. Her actions had empowered me to never feel guilty ever again about having a drink. I would get more drunk than I ever got before on weeknights, I would get so trashed I couldn't control my distain for her, I would send pages and pages and pages of text messages while she slept in the next room, berating her for throwing away our marriage and about how disgusting she was for lowering herself to a pig like him, how she had no value at all, she was just an illiterate produce worker's side bitch and that's all she deserved. She learned to go to bed early to avoid when I would say those exact things to her after a certain point in the night, or I would sit and continue to ask questions about the details of the affair and then point out what a depraved whore she was to come home and kiss me after what she had done and how we now both knew what a morally depraved person she was etc. This went on for nearly 2 years. I had associated any attempt at sobriety as her getting what she didn't deserve.
My mindset was an ugly one, she got to have an affair and betray me, she got to fool around and fuck someone else with zero consequences, she didn't lose her marriage, she didn't lose the kids and have to go back home to face her family and tell them why we got divorced, I saved her so much shame, when all she did was give me shame. I had changed (during the affair) to be more of everything she had ever asked me to be, I was more attentive, I pitched in and helped around the house, I would praise her (when I wasn't drunk and berating her) and I would give her my full attention and I started making an effort to be sweet and appreciative (when I wasn't drunk and berating her) We had finally started marriage counseling which she had been asking me to do for years, in my mind me getting sober would have been the true last nail in the coffin of her getting everything she had ever wanted from me. The frequency of the drunken beratement sessions and hoards of text messages began to go from weekly to monthly to quarterly over those two years until now it's only been 3 times this year. The feelings to some extent haven't gone away, I'll still be cooking dinner or hear a song while out grocery shopping and all the rage comes back, but I don't act on it now, even when I am drinking heavily. This year things are finally right between us and I've been able to be at peace and honestly believe that she absolutely 100% regrets that it ever happened and does not have any fond memories of any of it or of him in any way and that she is truly embarrassed and disgusted by him.
I have resolved to get sober for myself because I know (from quitting smoking) that if you quit for someone else the moment they piss you off you lose your resolve. It has taken me a year of good relations and a lot of work to come to the point where I want to stop for me, but part of me is still there nagging me in the back of my mind that she got away with everything and I had to suffer so much.
I think that will be the biggest thing I struggle with, because there is still some lingering animosity and I associate being sober with her getting away with it essentially.
Has anyone ever dealt with something like this, where you feel like you might regret getting sober out of spite for someone who has wanted you to get sober despite being a cause of severe hurt towards you?

We have a bad day every first day of the week and I'm wondering what other parents do for their ADHD homeschool curriculum.
Some backstory:
We adopted our son at 5 years old from foster care. We got his diagnosis in kindergarten when we made the transition from virtual kinder to in class kinder during COVID-19.
He's combined type and is on Guanfacine, Amantadine, and methylphenidate three times a day because of his lightning fast metabolism. He's been in therapy, behavior therapy, family psychology, play therapy, he has a pediatrician and neurologist that are incredibly helpful.
We've tried public school, online public school, charter school, public behavior unit, private school and homeschool. Homeschool is the only one that has been successful because we can handle his behavior issues, address them properly and he still gets a proper education. He has visual charts and clear rewards and consequences written on the fridge. He earns tickets that he drops in the slots per task and school subject, which converts to video game time at 5pm.
My son is in third grade, I created a curriculum for him that would be interesting and complete, but the first work day of every week is an insane struggle. The rest of the week gets easier for him to cope with.
My past 4 weeks have been: Monday: learning videos on the concepts of the week, fun songs and light writing. Tuesday: worksheets, writing, discussion of topics per subject. Wednesday: worksheets, writing, drawing Thursday: learning games and typing games on IXL over subjects previously covered Friday: piano and library
(Tuesday and Friday is roller hockey and ice hockey, respectively)
Everyday Subjects:
Vocabulary: 8-12 words and definitions the same all week, with different work for each
ELAR: author of the week and concept of the week(punctuation, letter writing, etc)
Math: concept of the week(dividing, multiples, etc)
Science: concept of the week (like buoyancy or earth forms), plus scientist of the week
Social studies: social skill(like empathy, humbleness), 2 US states per week, historical figure of the week, social study concept(like local government, American Revolution, etc)
This week I changed it up so Monday is just copywriting and creative writing on all concepts in each subject because the fun videos were not working. It was always met with, "I don't know" or "I don't remember".
He has a terrible memory, so I figured if we do the same concepts every day then his retention would increase.
Am I doing too much, expecting too much? He's such a bright and inquisitive kid. We set timers for each subject and can get through school on a good day in 2.5-3 hours. But then days like today last all day and everyone is upset. Mostly takes all day because he needs constant redirect, breaks, resets, consequences... All because he is just simply not wanting to do the work and trying to find a way out.
Soooooo...Like the title asks... What curriculum/schedule have others been successful with in homeschooling their combined type kiddo? I would very much love to see what others are doing! Do you set timers, how do you keep your kid on task? Is there a better way to ease into the week? Should I just hold him to a school schedule 7 days a week? What are we doing wrong?!

Hey everyone, I’m Bill and I’m currently in my 2nd year of a BBiomed single degree here at Monash. A few months ago, I’ve put up an expression of interest for a biomed + chem study skills post à la allevana and luneax, but man, I’ve been swamped with uni work for the past 9 weeks (thank you very much Monash for that 3/4 sem break /s). I’ll write a quick paragraph on every single subject I did, but mainly focusing on pitfalls to beware of because these are probably the most valuable for future students, as well as the study techniques that worked for me personally in each subject. Different styled units require different study strategies, and a caveat is that your mileage may vary, and that I’m not discrediting the study techniques proposed by allevana and luneax if I didn’t use them. The most useful study technique can be found under the CHM2911 paragraph. I won’t go too much into the specifics of each unit, as I will attach my detailed ATAR Notes reviews detailing them at the bottom of this post if you want to find out more about how each unit is run.
Note: although my 1st year at Monash was in 2019, I decided to intermit 2020 as online learning at the time was too much of a sudden shift for me. This was compounded by the fact that I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome when I was 10, and in my first week of online learning, rona killed my motivation and grades, so that’s why I decided to intermit the entire 2020 academic year before census date. Some stats about my stay at Monash so far:
Highest mark: 96 (CHM1011, BMS1042 and CHM2911)
Lowest mark: 86 (BMS1052)
Current WAM: 92.0625
Current GPA: 4.000
Transcript: https://drive.google.com/file/
How I got here from high school: In high school, I fit very well into the Chinese nerd stereotype. I went to bed at 9PM just cuz I was told so by my parents, and there was a huge focus on extracurricular activities (you guessed it, instruments) and academics at home. Despite being passionate in the sciences (cruising through years 7-10), I was only able to achieve raw 38 in bio and raw 40 in chem, not the juicy mid 40s study scores I wanted or needed for med because remembering the exact responses VCAA liked did not suit my learning styles at all. Since the beginning of year 11, my plan was to get into Monash undergrad medicine, however, as it turned out, I was even more disappointed with myself when I got my UMAT results back: 56/43/80, overall 57th percentile with a failed section 2. When ATAR day arrived, my ~98 ATAR was bittersweet in that while it (just) gave me my 2nd preference, BBiomed (Scholars), here at Monash, coupled with an abysmal UMAT, there was no way I’m getting an interview, let alone an offer at Monash undergrad med or anywhere else. So into biomed I go, ready to tough out a 3-year year 12 experience.
Year 1 sem 1 (2019)
My subjects/marks:
BMS1011 (biochem)- 87 HD
BMS1021 (bio, equivalent of BIO1011/1022 for you science peeps here)- 93 HD
BMS1031 (biophysics, equivalent to PHS1031)- 91 HD
CHM1011 as elective (general/physical chem)- 96 HD
WAM: 91.75
General remarks: As they say, a good beginning is winning half the battle. I have switched schools frequently throughout my childhood (spending an average of 3 years/school), and the transition into uni was no exception in that it was a stressful event. Since I’m well aware of my Asperger’s Syndrome presenting challenges when adapting to new environments, I took the opportunity to visit Clayton campus even before O-week just to familiarise myself with the facilities and the locations listed on my timetable. It’s critical that you secure your ideal timetable once you head out of year 12 on Allocate+, because it can mean the difference between a chill semester where you’re only on campus 2-3 days a week and a hellish 7AM morning commute every single day. It is also worth keeping in mind that biomed is somewhat toxic, and many of the “friends” you make will make unnecessarily rude remarks to you if you scored poorly on an assessment, or teach you wrong facts during group study right before an exam. I have never experienced this nonsense in the chem department, where everyone is nice to each other and helps each other out sincerely. That being said, if you find a group of mates you can trust, stick with them at all times and you’ll never be lonely.
BMS1011: My main regret with this unit was taking the midsem exam worth 15% of our final grade on an all nighter which tanked my grade (only got like 75% on it). Seriously peeps, it ain’t healthy, it ain’t worth it and you’ll miss out on very easy marks when you’re in a sleep-deprived state. If I were to redo this unit, I would focus on polishing my short answer responses in the workshops, because the finer details in these are actually more reflective of the application-style final MCQ exam where the options are all so similar to each other than any other resources you get in this unit. For the final exam which was closed book for me, I drew out, understood and memorised the metabolic roadmap (with enzymes and substrates/products) of how the various catabolic and anabolic pathways are interconnected and regulated, which was far more effective than memorising paragraphs of lecture summary text I initially wrote down. Instead of 20 pages of handwritten notes, it was just 1 page of visually appealing diagrammatic notes, which takes away the intimidation away from studying this unit, and we all know that intimidation is a potent agonist of the procrastination receptor.
BMS1021: I regretted only highlighting lecture slides for the first half of the unit and not taking any handwritten notes, which are scientifically proven to help with long term potentiation and hence retention of newly formed memories. This really reflected on the midsem, where I was uncertain about 60% of my answers as the questions asked really, really specific details on the content delivered on lecture slides (I got 89% on it by pure chance). Since I was made aware of this drawback in my study strategies, I made very detailed notes that summarised the lecture content in my own words in the last half of the unit, which really paid off on the final exam. I also used some Quizlet flashcards, which aren’t quite as good as Anki which I’m using now. Despite never going to PASS, leeching PASS worksheets from mates who went to PASS is pretty common practice, they’re very indicative of exam style questions as well. Just an observation, condensed handwritten notes (mostly text based) + Anki seem to be more appropriate for units requiring extensive memorisation such as BMS1021, whereas they may not work so well for the other year 1 sem 1 units as they are more practice and application-based.
BMS1031: I regret making excuses for my initial incompetence at physics and confusion at the lecture material eg “I didn’t do physics in high school, so I’m not expected to be Einstein”. While technically true, I accidentally lowered my expectations so much that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy in the first midsem, where I initially received a 68% that got bumped up to an 82% after finding an error in the marking. Since the 2nd midsem was designed to mirror the final exam, both of which were open book (cheat sheet allowed), I spent a lot of effort preparing that cheat sheet, taking care to include example questions I’ve gotten wrong and annotating each variable in each equation (as well as providing the associated units) so that I don’t end up drowning in the alphabet soup and that I know when/how to use each equation. The process of determining what’s important enough to put on your cheat sheet is great revision, you should aim to be so comfortable after preparing it that you don’t need to refer to it much during your actual exam. I consider this to be 10 times more effective than completing the 2 provided past exams.
CHM1011: I definitely regretted not attending every tutorial as they weren’t compulsory. While the tutes offered harder content than the stuff delivered in the lectures, I took the easy way out and didn’t really do them properly ie I only looked at them and summarised the steps, but when it’s time to put pen to paper, I forget what I’m actually supposed to do. Normally, this is very poor form, as I found out in 2nd year chem, tutorial questions are actually sourced from real past exams, I just got lucky that the higher order questions didn’t appear on my final exam. In the labs, it is also not a good idea to start the lab report at 9PM the night before it’s due when you have an on campus lab at 10AM. Without exception, every single one of my 7 CHM1011 reports were completed in this manner. While my marks didn’t suffer, I lost a lot of sleep and felt drained of energy in the actual labs, so please don’t be like me. This unit is all about practice, since it extends way beyond the scopes of year 12 chem in some areas (eg quantum mechanics), so although you may choose this unit as a bludge unit due to the overlaps with year 12 chem like I did, it by no means gives you the license to be complacent. Completing the 3 mock exams given to you and attending the SWOTVAC revision lecture are very important to doing well on the final exam, and if you can smash out the tute questions (which are at or even slightly beyond exam difficulty), you’ll easily manage the real exam.
Year 1 sem 2 (2019)
My subjects/marks:
BMS1042 (epi + stats)- 96 HD
BMS1052 (neurobio, equivalent of PHY2011)- 86 HD
BMS1062 (biochem/molecular bio, equivalent of MCB2011)- 94 HD
CHM1022 as elective (inorganic + organic chem)- 92 HD
WAM: 91.875
General remarks: Not too much to say here, except that this sem is more content heavy than sem 1 as opposed to applications based.
BMS1042: I don’t know who is to blame for the fact that I did not enjoy this unit at all, myself or the BMS1042 teaching team. I regret nothing on the academics side of things, the concepts are pretty straightforward and I was able to do well on the final exam with lots of practice of stats (plenty of places on the internet to practice different types of t-tests) and brute force memorisation of epidemiology theory (with Quizlet, as I haven’t rediscovered Anki yet). The unit felt very disorganised with tons of examinable content cough online modules cough. I’ll probably let my ATAR Notes review linked below do most of the talking for me.
BMS1052: Definitely regret neglecting the lectures (I was at one point 5 whole weeks behind lol). Other than that, there was also my issue of not coordinating a group oral presentation very well. Be warned, the TAs are very harsh in their marking and the groups are so large it’s usually an absolute pain to chase down everyone for their parts by the due date, so please try to complete the journal club presentation at least 3 days in advance. In the pre-2020 versions of this unit, only 20% of people got HDs as their overall score, us biomedders didn’t call BMS1052 the GPA killer for no reason. I kinda regret not doing the recommended textbook readings from each lecture (which were explicitly stated to be examinable), however that was a pretty big gamble that paid off since no assessment tasks actually ended up examining content from them. Although you may think BMS1052 is another memorisation-intensive unit requiring walls of text as your notes, I found that illustrating different sensory, motor or autonomic pathways was way more effective than just trying to reword the lecture slides.
BMS1062: I made the mistake of falling very behind on my lectures, I had to pull another all nighter studying for the midsem, which was on the same day as a very draining CHM1022 lab. I was luckier in that I managed to scored better on it than the BMS1011 midsem, but I came to recognise that this cycle of intense memorisation and then rapid forgetting is neither a sustainable nor efficient form of studying. Text-based notes were superior to diagrams for this unit, because on the final exam, they want you to be able to differentiate between the nuances of each option in MCQs with similar options, which is similar to BMS1011. In preparation for image-based questions, I resorted to the good old look, say, cover, write, check method where I cover up the labels of each protein in the prescribed textbook and attempt to recall their name, function and relationship to other proteins shown on the diagram. This is also the first time I experimented with a primitive form of the “overlaps” method I’ll discuss in detail in the year 2 sem 1 paragraphs, where relating biochem concepts in BMS1062 to mechanistic arguments (eg substitution reactions with stable leaving groups) in CHM1022 can explain complex reactions in molecular bio such as pre mRNA splicing.
CHM1022: Again, submitting lab reports while on the way to my morning labs probably wasn’t the best of study habits. Definitely regret not attending a single PASS or tutorial session. It happens that while the tutorial questions look difficult and appear to be out of the scope of the course, all the mechanisms you’re exposed to (even briefly) in lectures and those worksheets are in fact very examinable on your final exam. I also got complacent in the 1st 6 weeks of the course (the organic section), because my logic was “I survived year 12 O-chem, what can a uni chem unit designed for complete beginners throw at me that I can’t handle?” As it turns out, QUITE A LOT, especially on that final exam. I was lucky because in the last 2 days before the exam, I thought the mock exams provided were suspiciously easy, so I decided to memorise all mechanisms to the best of my ability (but I didn’t take those mechanisms as seriously as I should have). The take home message should be, assume everything is examinable unless told otherwise. I talked to some TAs allegedly involved in the exam marking later, and apparently a very large proportion of the cohort initially failed (the hurdle that year was 30%, or 36/120), so they had to scale up everyone’s exam by a lot such that only a predetermined number of people actually ended up failing the unit. Also, 2 double weighed labs which together constitute half of your lab marks were group projects in 2019, being proactive in them is non-negotiable if you want a good in-semester mark to take some pressure off your back for the final exam (the 2nd one was an absolute disaster for me, because I made excuses on how it’s inevitable that I’ll do crap on it and didn’t put much effort into getting a really bad group member to do things properly). The notes in this unit were all handwritten, but they were mainly in diagram form to illustrate different trends in organic mechanisms (eg pKa vs leaving group strength) and inorganic coordination complexes (eg observed colour, crystal field splitting energy, magnetism etc) clearly.
Year 2 sem 1 (2021)
My subjects/marks:
BMS2011 (anatomy)- 90 HD
BMS2021 (biochem, equivalent of BCH2022)- 91 HD
BMS2031 (physiology, equivalent of PHY2032 + 2042)- 92 HD
CHM2911 as elective (inorganic + organic chem)- 96 HD
WAM: 92.0625
General remarks: This was the most full on semester I ever had (exceeding year 2 sem 2 as we are currently in online learning). I have previously written a guide to surviving this semester for those of you who are about to tackle these units next year, so I’ll paste it here as part of my general remarks. This is a very adaptable strategy that I only figured out in 2nd year, and so far it’s also working like a charm in my 2nd sem units. Going by the approach described below, I’m using CHM2922 (analytical chem) to steal BMS2062 (bioinformatics, with many techniques described in 2922 reappearing here) and I’m using my prior knowledge from BMS1062 (biochem/molecular bio) to steal BMS2042 (genetics), BMS2052 (microbio) and BMS2062 due to the vast overlap in content. In fact, 2042, 2052 and 2062 just examine the lecture topics you would’ve covered in 1062 in more detail, it’s a lot less intimidating when you break the biomed course design down like that.
Context: The trifecta of postgrad MD entry prereqs used to be anatomy, physiology and biochem before Unimelb scrapped them. Despite these disciplines being very different, they actually have a lot of overlap. All 3 of these are core biomed units in year 2 sem 1 of the biomed degree at Monash (BMS2011= anatomy, BMS2021= biochem, BMS2031= physiology).

• Physiology is the easiest of these 3 to conquer because you can literally understand homeostasis in physiology as Le Chatelier's Principle (which you learn in year 12 or CHM1011) applied on a biological and macroscopic scale, when you have too much of something, you don't want more of it. Likewise, if there's a stimulus that takes your body away from an ideal level of something, you'd want to restore it back to the optimal level by making a change opposite to the direction of the change caused by the initial stimulus. If you understand physiology in terms of equilibrium systems, it is virtually impossible to forget the physiological trends compared to if you memorised them via brute force. The autonomic nervous system, neuroendocrine and pharmacology stuff you learn in BMS1052 (1st year neurobio) comes back as well, so knowing how the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems work is crucial (there is also overlap of this with your anatomy unit if you decide that anatomy is your most confident subject that you use to steal others).
  
• Similarly to physiology, you can also explain large chunks of biochem away with Le Chat's rule, especially in the metabolism lecture topic which itself overlaps heavily with BMS1011, your 1st year biochem unit. The various signalling pathways and specific phosphorylation cascades introduced to you in biochem come in VERY handy in physiology as well when you're asked to explain exactly what happens when a neurotransmittehormone binds to its receptor and how exactly the given signalling pathway alter physiological function on a molecular scale. These pathways also overlap with other lecture topics you cover within the same biochem unit, an example would be overactive growth/proliferation signalling pathways= cancer.
  
• Finally anatomy is the tough one which traditionally required a lot of brute force memorisation. Luckily, in physiology, they teach you a lot of anatomy because as they say, form fits function. Once you link form to function, learning anatomy will definitely be a lot more intuitive, partially eliminating the need for rote memorisation. The benefits of physiology knowledge on anatomy study is reciprocated, because anatomy explains some difficult physiological concepts that the physiology lecturers take for granted and don’t explain adequately. An example would what muscles are active during passive/active/vigorous inhalation or exhalation, and how that would affect passive/active/vigorous inhalation/exhalation rates. All the hormone stuff in physiology and embryonic development stuff from biochem complement really well with the reproductive anatomy and embryology content. Since both the anatomy and physiology units are organised (pun 100% intended) into body systems (cardiovascular, urinary, endocrine, respiratory, digestive and reproductive), you can pretty much understand one from the other.
  

BMS2011: I really regret not paying attention in the Zoom labs where the TA takes you through labelling diagrams in the lab manual. I didn’t pay attention because what the TA was saying made no sense at all (entirely my fault since I was sooo behind in BMS2011 lectures all the time), and this reflected in my last 2 lab tests worth 12% and 10% of the unit respectively. Despite being open book, I only scored 80% and 78% on them respectively which was way below my average performance in the unit. This was a reminder for me to catch up on the lectures. I acquired copies of anatomical atlases, especially those with prosections (ie dead body labelling), because I noticed while I can easily label a cartoon schematic, I was absolutely hopeless at labelling images of dead bodies where everything looks the same colour. If I had to do this unit again, I probably will use Anki to help me remember everything visually instead of writing down weekly summary sheets by hand in text form. While BMS2011 is an anatomy unit, I often forget about the evolutionary aspects of it, which translated to a few extra lost marks on lab tests and exam.
BMS2021: I made the mistake of trusting my team members too much early in the semester, however, the opposite was true later on in the semester. At the beginning of the semester when you’re assigned into your workshop groups, it’s a good idea to assert yourself by doing everything yourself (assuming that no one else will complete their required parts). However, as you become more familiar with your team mates, you should allow them to complete their assigned sections, because if you do everything on your own, it’s unfair to you because you’re unnecessarily burdened, and it’s also unfair in others in that it assumes the worst in people and disrespects their potential contributions. Although the lecture topic quizzes are designed to help you to stay up to date with lectures, simply having watched the lectures isn’t quite enough, you must also practice answering exam style questions, which was somewhat lacking for me. Better yet, create your own questions, this allows you to really get into the heads of your profs and understand what they are really trying to assess on the exam. We were only allowed access to the practice exams once we submitted at least one original MCQ and short answer question both with marking scheme/explanations included. I didn’t take notes in this unit, only circling and scribbling over the lecture slides, because they contain all the diagrams already.
BMS2031: While I was fully up to date with lectures, labs etc for the first half of the semester, I really let BMS2031 go after the midsem break. Since the materials taught after the midsem break featured more on the final exam, this translated to a comparatively poor exam performance of 83% when I’ve been averaging in the mid 90s in-sem. The exam was open book and it was already so hard to cram in 3 days pretty much the 2nd half of the unit, so if things go back to normal and the exam becomes closed book again, it’s definitely not a crammable unit. Although practice SAQs were provided for us really early on in the semester, I also regret not completing the SAQs from each body system as soon as I’ve watched the associated lectures. This unit is very understanding based, virtually all of my notes were in diagrammatic form and I just used the Le Chatelier’s Principle method described above to reason away many things in physiology. However, that approach didn’t seem to work very well for reproductive physiology which is the topic most people had to cram for.
CHM2911: My very bad lab report submission habits from 1st year chem persisted, I completed and submitted all 8 lab reports with only an hour to go until the deadline. I also wished I were more independent in the labs, in that while asking questions on the Moodle forums helps other students with similar queries to me, I felt I’m unconsciously expecting to be spoon-fed (although the profs are excellent at guiding you instead of giving away the answers). I didn’t take much notes throughout the semester for the organic half of this unit, instead, I got my hands on a lot of mechanism practice worksheets on the internet as well as from the tutorials, half of which I attended. I wish to draw your attention to an active learning technique called the Feynman technique, where you teach what you learned to someone else. For some context, I volunteer in a VCE help server where I help students answer bio and chem questions because it helps me consolidate my own knowledge, and I have secondary school chem/bio teacher as a backup career option to med, so it also allows me to fine tune my explanation skills. I used this active learning technique in my other units to a lesser extent as well, but nothing beats the effort I spent explaining H NMR or why organic reaction pathways happen the way they do to year 12s who are having trouble understanding them the unintuitive way VCAA specified. It helped me so much on the mechanism hell topic (topic 4) of CHM2911 and it was also pleasing to see that I was able to effectively communicate chem to the high school kiddos that they instantly understood my explanations which are fine tuned to an appropriate level of difficulty for VCAA. The way I see it, if you can explain a concept to someone else, you'll have no problems explaining to your assessor on the exam that you know it well. This is also the reason why I’m volunteering in the CHM1022/CHM1052 group chats right now in sem 2, it’s keeping my synthetic chem + NMR knowledge fresh in preparation for my chem units next year when I’m currently only bombarded by physical and analytical chem.
My goals for the future: To get HD in every unit this sem, I am currently taking BMS2042 (genetics, equivalent of GEN2041 + 2052), BMS2052 (microbio + immunology, equivalent of MIC2022), BMS2062 (bioinformatics, essentially another biochem/molecular bio unit) and CHM2922 (physical and analytical chem). Next year, I will be completing BMS3031 (integrated double credit biomed unit), CHM3941 (3rd year inorganic + organometallic chem) and PHY3181 (endocrine + reproductive physiology) in sem 1 and BMS3052 (another double credit integrated biomed unit) and CHM3922 (3rd year organic chem) in sem 2. I will also be taking PHY3990 in the summer A semester between 2021 and 2022 to lessen my workload. My ideal research group to work with would be with Julia’s PHY education group, since as I mentioned before, I am considering becoming a high school chem + bio teacher should I fail to make it into med school, and I really liked their innovative teaching practices as observed in BMS2031 which I felt is very adaptable for teaching VCE bio.
I’ll link the ATAR Notes unit reviews below, if you have any questions about biomed or chem units, my DMs are open at any time.
ATAR Notes Unit reviews
BMS1011 (biochem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148973#msg1148973
BMS1021 (bio): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148974#msg1148974
BMS1031 (physics): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148975#msg1148975
CHM1011 (general + physical chem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148976#msg1148976
BMS1042 (epidemiology+stats): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148977#msg1148977
BMS1052: (neurobio): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148978#msg1148978
BMS1062: (molecular bio + biochem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148979#msg1148979
CHM1022 (organic + inorganic chem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1148980#msg1148980
BMS2011 (anatomy): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1193923#msg1193923
BMS2021 (molecular bio + biochem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1193811#msg1193811
BMS2031 (physiology): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1193924#msg1193924
CHM2911 (inorganic + organic chem): https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=43048.msg1193848#msg1193848

Hey guys,
There's not much info out on this cert, so I figured I'd take some time and do a write up about what I thought of it, and what you should expect.
​
So I have done a lot of fitness/S&C certs in the past (CSCS, NSCA-CPT, CPPS, and NASM-PES). I also have a bachelors in Sports Science. This one fell somewhere in the middle as far as difficulty. I wouldnt say it''s as tough as the CSCS, but not an easy one to get (50% pass rate). There are 7 sections the test covers: Performance Assessment and Eval, Bio mechanics, Sport Metabolism, Nutrition, Programming, Exercise Technique, and Injury prevention. I think it definitely does a good job in addressing all you need to know in those areas. I purchased the at home study materials, and I thought these were great. They give you an eBook (can upgrade to a physical copy for $50), a practice exam, and modules for each section covered. The modules include, notes, worksheets, learning objectives, and quizzes on each chapter. At the end of each unit, there is a practice exam that goes over every chapter. I also purchased the flashcards of their website (I do not recommend you do this, basically just repeats from the practice exam). I found the best way to study was to scan the text (not read verbatim), go over the notes (I made flashcards of things I found important), and do the practice exams. It took me about 1 month to get through everything, then I spent about a week really hammering the practice exams. If you have a degree in Exercise Science, the information should not be anything you haven't already learned. I could have probably taken the test in two weeks if I had wanted to. I passed with a 90%.
​
All in all, good cert. This one meets the qualifications for the NCAA requirement for S&C coaches, but does not have the same pull as the CSCS or SCCC. Learned quite a bit, and was happy with the price ($250). If you have any questions or want any more info, shoot me a PM.

From over 500 scientific articles, research reports and online articles, we present you our top 100.

It takes tremendous expertise, experience in processing and biology to survive in the insect business.
We present our Top 100 and kindly ask you to post your TOP article in the comments

100 powerful eBooks, Research Papers and Articles:

1. Insects as source of drug substances and pharmaceuticals
2. Sicherheitsaspekte bei der Herstellung von Lebensmitteln und Lebensmittelinhaltsstoffen aus Insekten
3. Changes in Reducing Carbohydrates and Trehalose during Development of Eggs from Young and Old Tenebrio molitor L
4. Nutritional Value of Mealworm, Tenebrio molitor as Food Source
5. Proteinextraktion aus Insekten
6. Extraction of chitin and chitosan from larval exuvium and whole body of edible mealworm, Tenebrio molitor
7. Morphological changes on development of Tenebrio molitor L. (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae) in rearing room system, free air CO2enrichment system and open roof ventilation system
8. Chapter 3 - Courtship, Mating, and Sex Pheromones in the Mealworm Beetle (Tenebrio molitor
9. Podisus distinctus (Heteroptera: Pentatomidae) females are lighter feeding on Tenebrio molitor (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae) Pupae subjected to ventral nerve cord transection
10. Retention of Learning through Metamorphosis in the Grain Beetle (Tenebrio molitor)
11. Ultrasonic Vibration Effects on the Development and Respiratory Metabolism of the Egg of Tenebrio molitor Linn. (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae)
12. Die Entwicklung der flügel des Mehlkäfers Tenebrio Molitor, mit besonderer Berücksichtigung der Häutungsvorgäng
13. Innervation of the fibrillar flight muscle of an insect: Tenebrio molitor (Coleoptera)
14. The Visual Mechanisms of Tenebrio Molitor: Variations Taking Place in the Erg of Pupa and Adult During Development
15. Sex pheromone of the mealworm beetle. (Tenebrio molitor)
16. Neuropeptide und die Regulation des Kohlenhydratstoffwechsels im Fettkörper der Argentinischen Schabe (Blaptica dubia)
17. Suitability of microwave drying for mealworms (Tenebrio molitor) as alternative to freeze drying: Impact on nutritional quality and colour
18. A Study on the Potential of Insect Protein and Lipid as a Food Source
19. Verfütterung von Insektenproteinen
20. The nutrition of the mealworm, tenebrio molitor L (tenebrionidae, coleoptera).
21. Population Assay of Tenebrio molitor ( Coleoptera : Tenebrionidae ) ( Linnaeus ) Growth and Development Analysis
22. Aktuelle Forschungsthemen und –ergebnisse aus der GMA und CAU
23. Untersuchung von Mortalität und Fress-verhalten von Tenebrio molitor an verschiedenen Varianten von Expandiertem Polystyrol
24. Was braucht der Fisch? Bedarfsmodellierungen am Beispiel der Aminosäuren
25. Anreicherung von anorganischen Metaboliten in KLA Effekte auf Produktions- und Gesundheitsparameter beim Steinbutt (Psetta maxima)
26. Herausforderungen an die Futtermittel Entwicklung unter besonderer Berücksichtigung der Fischgesundheit
27. Auf dem Weg zum optimalen. Trockenfutter für marine Fischlarven. - der Beitrag des ProLarva Projektes
28. Optimierter Einsatz von Kartoffelprotein in der Ernährung von Regenbogenforellen nach ökologischen Kriterien
29. Growth performance and feed conversion efficiency of three edible mealworm species (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae) on diets composed of organic by-products
30. Risk profile related to production and consumption of insects as food and feed
31. Insekten als Lebensmittel
32. Alternativen zu Fischmehl für die Fütterung in der nachhaltigen Aquakultur
33. Small-Scale Fly Larvae Production for Animal Feed
34. Auf den Wurm gekommen - Junges Unternehmen aus Nuthetal produziert Hundesnacks aus Mehlwürmern
35. Mealworms: Eat and Be Eaten
36. Culturing mealworms as food for animals in captivity
37. The Humidity Behaviour of the Mealworm Beetle, Tenebrio Molitor L
38. Mathematik für Biologie
39. Chemosensitivity in Mealworms and Darkling Beetles (Tenebrio molitor) across Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide Gradients
40. Untersuchungen zur Infektionsbiologie und Heritabilität von Infektionsparametern entomopathogener Nematoden bei Larven der Maikäfer (Melolontha spp.) sowie zur Charakterisierung der Nematoden durch DNA-Fingerprinting
41. Dynamische Modelle in den Lebens- und Gesellschaftswissenschaften
42. CO2 effects on larval development and genetics of mealworm beetle, Tenebrio molitor L. (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae) in two different CO2 systems
43. Sustainable farming of the mealworm Tenebrio molitor for the production of food and feed.
44. Feasibility of feeding yellow mealworm (Tenebrio molitor L.) in bioregenerative life support systems as a source of animal protein for humans
45. Stoffwechsel bei Mehlkäferlarve
46. Wechselwirkung von Populationen in einem begrenzten Lebensraum
47. Essbare Insekten auf dem Schweizer Markt
48. A constitutively expressed antifungal peptide protects Tenebrio molitor during a natural infection by the entomopathogenic fungus Beauveria bassiana.
49. Entwicklung eines Verfahrens zur industriellen Produktion von Präpuppen der Fliege Hermetia illucens zur Futterproteinproduktion.
50. OECD-FAO Agricultural Outlook 2018-2027
51. Characteristics of maize flour tortilla supplemented with ground Tenebrio molitor larvae.
52. "Reminiscence" in the cold flour beetle (Tenebrio molitor).
53. An illustrated key to powder post beetles (Coleoptera, Bostrichidae) associated with rubberwood in Thailand, with new records and a checklist of species found in Southern Thailand
54. Studies on the midgut amylase activity of Tenebrio molitor L. larvae
55. Larvae of mealworm (Tenebrio molitor L.) as European novel food
56. The Development and Evaluation of a Gut-loading Diet for Feeder Crickets Formulated to Provide a Balanced Nutrient Source for Insectivorous Amphibians and Reptiles
57. Auswahl, Haltung und Zucht Geeigneter Insekten
58. Entomophagie: Mikrobiologische Untersuchung von Mehlwürmern als Lebensmittel
59. Genetic Diversity in a Commercial Black Soldier Fly, Hermetia illucens (Diptera: Stratiomydiae), population
60. Nachhaltiges Design- Entomophagie als alternative Ernährungsergänzung zur Nahrungssicherung und Schonung der Umwelt
61. PROteINSECT - enabling the exploitation of insects as a sustainable source of protein for animal feed and human nutrition
62. Use of larvae meal as protein source in broiler diet: Effect on growth performance, nutrient digestibility, and carcass and meat traits.
63. The yellow mealworm Tenebrio molitor : a potential source of food lipids. First cycle, G2E. Uppsala: SLU, Department of Molecular Sciences
64. Sustainable production of housefly (Musca domestica) larvae as a protein-rich feed ingredient by utilizing cattle manure
65. Application of edible insects in western food products (EntomoFood)
66. The Yellow Mealworm as a Novel Source of Protein
67. Developmental characteristics of Tenebrio molitor larva (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae) in different instars
68. The studies on waste biodegradation by Tenebrio molitor
69. Modeling Larval Growth of Various Cricket Species ( Insecta , Orthoptera )
70. Wasserhaushalt, Osmo- und lonenregulation sowie Exkretion
71. Genetische Studien am Mehlkäfer Tenebrio Molitor L
72. Zur Biologie des Tenebrio molitor L.
73. Cuticular colour reflects underlying architecture and is affected by alimiting resource
74. Studies on the Distribution of Vitamin B T (Carnitine)
75. Full-fat insect meals as feed additive – the effect on broiler chicken growth performance and gastrointestinal tract microbiota
76. Life History Differences between Two Species of Gregarina in Tenebrio molitor Larvae
77. Removal of rival sperm during copulation in a beetle, Tenebrio molitor
78. Social cues trigger differential immune investment strategies in a non-social insect, Tenebrio molitor.
79. The Silencing of a 14-3-3ɛ Homolog in Tenebrio molitor Leads to Increased Antimicrobial Activity in Hemocyte and Reduces Larval Survivability.
80. Reproductive behaviour and physiology of Tenebrio molitor (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae). III. Histogenetic changes in the internal genitalia, mesenteron, and cuticle during sexual maturation
81. Edible Insects and the Future of Food: A Foresight Scenario Exercise on Entomophagy and Global Food Security
82. Larvenmehl von Hermetia illucens als Proteinträger im Futter für Hunde
83. Creating a market for a more sustainable alternative: entomophagy businesses in Europe
84. Edible Insects: Future Prospects for Food and Feed Security
85. Different effects of paternal trans-generational immune priming on survival and immunity in step and genetic offspring
86. In Vitro Crude Protein Digestibility of Tenebrio Molitor and Hermetia Illucens Insect Meals and its Correlation with Chemical Composition Traits
87. Insecticidal activity of garlic essential oil and their constituents against the mealworm beetle, Tenebrio molitor Linnaeus (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae)
88. Why farming with high tech methods should integrate elements of organic agriculture
89. Involvement of phenoloxidase in browning during grinding of Tenebrio molitor larvae
90. Mechanism of gene expression in Tenebrio molitor. Juvenile hormone determination of translational control through transfer ribonucleic acid and enzyme
91. Activated phenoloxidase from Tenebrio molitor larvae enhances the synthesis of melanin by using a vitellogenin-like protein in the presence of dopamine.
92. Regulation of supercooling and nucleation in a freeze intolerant beetle (Tenebrio molitor)
93. A Small Iridescent Virus (Type 29) Isolated from Tenebrio molitor: a Comparison of its Proteins and Antigens with Six Other Iridescent Viruses
94. Ein biologischer Test zur quantitativen Bestimmung der Juvenilhormon-Aktivität von Insektenextrakten
95. Klimaerwärmung: Polygamie lohnt sich für Käfer
96. Einfluß der Temperatur auf die Eibildung und Entwicklung von Acheta domesticus (L.) (Insecta: Orthoptera: Gryllidae)
97. Studium des embryonalen Wachstums von Grillen (Insecta, Orthoptera): experimentelle und theoretische Ergebnisse
98. Hormone-pheromone relationships in the beetle, Tenebrio molitor.
99. Impact of Adult Weight, Density, and Age on Reproduction of Tenebrio molitor (Coleoptera: Tenebrionidae)
100. Insect Morphological Diversification Through the Modification of Wing Serial Homologs

Hi! I recently graduated from UCF with my degree in Biomedical Sciences. Although I didn't get a 4.0 (I graduated with a 3.7 so I guess that's pretty average), I learned a lot throughout my undergrad through trial and error so I wanted to pass off some knowledge to those of you traveling down a similar path to mine.

Biology/Genetics

• I took Dr. Thomas (A very intelligent professor and formerly worked in the medical field so she really knows how to tie the basic subjects into what you will need to know as a medical professional).
• I also took Dr. von Kalm for genetics. An amazing professor who I was actually privileged enough to do research under after passing his class with an A. Great pre-MCAT course.
• I loved these classes for being easy but DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE ITS KNOWLEDGE. If you are continuing down this major, this a foundational class. Meaning, all other classes you take after this will build on the knowledge you gain from here. You can probably slack/cram and still get an A but you're setting yourself up for failure. Take the time to UNDERSTAND this information

General Chemistry

• I took Dr. Heider (very lovely and smart professor) & Dr. Lapeyrouse (LOVED her teaching style 10/10)
• I found this class difficult because I didn't have the right study habits. Use the textbook before class as a way to LEARN the material and go to the lecture to REVIEW the material.
• If you don't understand something, SI and SARC are your best bets. They're run by students who have gotten an A in the class and get paid to stay on top of the material and teach it to you. They're there to help you. There are also Graduate Chemistry students available to answereview any materials with you on the 3rd floor of the Chemistry building! I lived in that room for Gen Chem and Orgo.
• Do practice problems!!! From the textbook, homework, practice exams, online, etc. This is also a big MCAT foundation course so don't slack.

Organic Chemistry

• I took Dr. Hashim (A very sweet professor who knows how to simplify Orgo1 very well) & Dr. Frasier (not as great with teaching lecture but very funny - self-taught myself mostly for his class)
• I LOVED this class! Most people hate it but I really think that your attitude going into a class helps determine how well you do. Do not fear new/different information.
• I looked at this class as a puzzle. You learn what different parts of a molecule makes them a good attacker (nucleophile), a good leaving group, and a good place to be attacked (electrophile) and then you get a problem pairing different molecules together and you have to finish the puzzle. It's not about memorizing molecules, it's about learning basic parts of a puzzle and putting them together.
• Use YouTube and the Textbook!!! My favorite YouTubers (for almost every class in this list):
  • Professor Dave Explains
  • The Organic Chemistry Tutor
  • Leah4sciMCAT
  • Khan Academy
• Like the more math-involved classes, this is one where PRACTICE IS KEY. Have one notebook for your notes and another for practice problems.
• This is a class where, unless you have an iPad with the fancy apple pen, use paper and pencil 100%.

Physics

• This class honestly is a hit or miss depending on your professor.
• I had 2 amazing female professors (Dr. Rahman for Physics 1 & Dr. Dove for Physics 2) and I loved the course! I got A's in both classes and even a 116% in Physics 1.
• I survived off of Dr. Dove's textbook for Physics 2 and the website Physics Classroom for Physics 1
• Use the physics help room in the Physics building (PSB), I believe it is still room 158, and SI sessions.

Biochemistry

• I got an A in this class but didn't learn much. I took this course with Dr. Hashim again and although I adore her, she's definitely better at teaching introductory courses like Orgo 1. I felt very babied through the course and didn't feel like I gained enough knowledge.
• If I were to do this again, I would certainly take Medical Biochemistry. Although I've heard it is more difficult, I certainly understand it is a great preparatory class for the MCAT.
• If you're going down research, do Biochemistry 1 and 2, if you're pre-med, medical biochemistry.
• Youtubers!!!
  • AK lectures is GOD!!! Please use his videos!
  • Premed HQ is also amazing! Videos on Gen Chem, Physics, and Biochem
  • Science Simplifiedis a YouTuber that got great scores on the MCAT and makes videos on Gen Chem, Orgo, Physics, Biology/Physiology, and Biochemistry

Molecular Biology 1 and 2

• I did these 2 classes out of order and took Molecular Biology 2 and then 1. This did not affect my understanding of the material at all, especially because of my foundation in genetics. If you haven't taken genetics, do 1 then 2.
• I took Dr. Hawthorne for Molec 2 and would recommend no one else! I, now graduated, am a TA for this class and she structures the material very well. She's an amazing lecturer and truly does care for all of her students on a personal level. HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND HER.
• I took Dr. Chai for Molec 1 (very kind but YOU NEED TO SHOW UP TO EVERY CLASS AND BE ENGAGED. Don't bother reading beforehand, just show up, record his lectures, write down everything he says along with the images he shows, joke around with him, and use those notes for the open-note exams. People complain about him but honestly, those are the people who don't come to class until the exam and fail. Everyone I know who got an A were people I sat with every day in class. Not a single one of us got less than an A; good correlation, no?).
  • Dr. Chai also sits on the admissions committee for UCF medical school...
  • Honestly, though I gained more knowledge from the subject from talking to Dr. Borgon who also teaches this course. He's super friendly and I would recommend him for Molec 1 over Dr. Chai if you're looking for a normal class structure.
• Molecular biology 2 is a tough class with a lot of memorization but you can certainly do it if you devote enough time. I highly recommend taking this class with some easier or less-involved classes.

Anatomy

• The dreaded class lol.
• Obviously I took it with Dr. Samsam (he was the only anatomy professor when I took it). He's very kind but harder to get a relationship with than other professors because everyone tries to get on his good side lol.
• He's quiet and has a bit of an accent, so go to class and sit up in the front to record him. I had the 7:30 am lecture and would sit in for that one AND the 8:30 am lecture to make sure I got any material that I missed.
• His textbook is paramount to succeeding along with his lectures, especially the clinical boxes. There will be questions on the exams that are not in the lecture but are in the textbook so don't overlook it.
• His lectures will be simple questions like "which nerve/artery innervates ___ muscle?" that just come from basic memorization & then harder clinical questions like "A woman comes in, 45 years old, and fell down a cliff while hiking. She sustained some bruising but no broken bones, however, she cannot lift her left arm past 90 degrees. What is the cause?" which requires more critical thinking but they are usually examples either in class or takes about in the textbook. All questions are multiple-choice.
• For his lab, go to class every day and draw your notes if you're good at drawing or print out the diagrams and label. 10000% use the library anatomy lab review sessions!!! they're on the 3rd floor I believe and they're amazing for the lab exams.
  • Also, buy the Great River learning access. There will be diagrams of cadavers that you will see on this website that are copy-and-pasted onto the lab exams.

Physiology

• I took this class in 6 weeks over the summer with Dr. Flory. This is not a difficult class with him although he teaches more scientifically without much clinical emphasis whereas Dr. Ahangari teaches with more clinical emphasis (which I probably would have enjoyed more but she doesn't teach over the summer).
• Very doable just attend the lecture and memorize powerpoints.
• Labs are also easy and very interesting. There are quizzes before class so look over the material beforehand and you'll be fine. Same for the lab exams. If you paid attention throughout the lab, you're ok.
  • Take pictures of the microscope slides after class that you look at because they're fair game on exams.

Immunology

• I took this with Dr. Weigel and really enjoyed myself. He's very funny and also incredibly smart so pay attention.
• The key to getting an A, like most of the classes here, is to pull up the PowerPoint during class, write down what he says about each slide, and memorize. I bought the textbook for this class but didn't really use it. I DID, however, use his videos that he links on his webcourses page. Definitely something to look at and understand.
• Lab advice is the same as Physiology lab advice.

QBM

• Not a hard class at all!!!
• I had both Dr. Hawthorne and Dr. Borgon for 6 weeks in the summer and was top of the class.
• Attend lecture every day and READ THE TEXTBOOK!!!!! The textbook is the best for this class.
• For the lab, it's really chill and you don't have to even wear PPE. Your grade more depends on the person grading you sadly. I got a lax grader and got A's but I know others who worked just as hard and didn't so it's a hit or miss.

Microbiology

• I'll admit I struggled in this class but more because I had a lot of negative things going on in my life. I got a B (88%) but I know that if I could take it again with no knowledge of what I've already learned, I do feel like I could've gotten an A.
• Dr. White was the main lecturer and she is just the sweetest lady around. Dr. Ambivero is at other locations but comes in from time to time. She's younger and definitely harsher than Dr. White but still likable.
• Exams in this class, in my opinion, were the most difficult just due to the fact that, although they were multiple-choice, there were multiple answers with no partial credit. Easy to just add one more answer or forget one and get the whole question wrong.
• I would recommend taking this with easier, less time-consuming classes to give yourself more time to devote to this one.

Microbial Metabolism

• It's not on the course catalog anymore but I highly recommend this class for anyone taking the MCAT.
• Dr. Schroeder is a very kind man and also sits on the UCF medical school admissions committee so definitely good to talk to him.
• He uploads his lectures as powerpoints on webcourses and then devotes class time to doing group worksheets so definitely a teach yourself, class. Use his exam review sessions to ask questions after going through the material online.
• Harder but certainly doable.
• He says he won't curve the class but at least for me, he did (5% curve).

Electives I Recommend (No particular order):

1. PCB 306C - Genetics specifically with Dr. von Kalm
2. PCB 4234 - Cancer biology - essay exams & you can go into exam reviews to argue your grade if it's misgraded (happens often). Most answers you can find from his powerpoints while supplementing extra info from the textbook.
3. PCB 4805 - Endocrinology - Dr. Ahangari is lovely and this is a great class to prepare you for medical school
4. ZOO 3744 - Neurobiology - specifically with Dr. Hawthorne.
5. ZOO 4605 - Human Clinical Embryology - same reason as #3
6. PSB 3002 - Physiological Psychology - easy A, interesting, and good to pair with the harder classes I mentioned above
7. HSC 3537 - Medical Terminology - same reason as #6

​
HOPE THIS HELPS! Feel free to add anything below or ask me questions.

Chapter 6 -------- Not So Honeymoon
Danielle and I both had the entire weekend off. We were fully expecting to spend a nice quiet weekend with each other, certainly nothing too crazy. It was supposed to be a micro honeymoon, but it had turned out far different than either of us could have expected. It was a far wilder experience than I could have ever imagined. The day after the surgery was anything but a honeymoon.
I was grateful that I was able to stay with Danielle in the hospital for the weekend. I was able to be by her side almost twenty-four hours a day except for when I grabbed some food. I know it made it easier on her to have me there with her. We were in a huge brand-new hospital with the staff being especially attentive and kind. Everything felt new, and peace surrounded us.
As I mentioned, there was a beautiful garden in the center of the hospital where we were married. The building was several stories tall and located on the North Side of Scottsdale, which is the upper-class area of Phoenix. I’ve never been a huge fan of hospitals, but this one wasn’t bad in my book. It felt like at least we had our little honeymoon suite. We had privacy and some space in the room, even though we weren’t expecting to be there this weekend, it wasn’t the worst place to spend time recovering.
I was also happy because there was a Sprouts Grocery Store down the street where I knew I could buy Danielle fresh organic juice once she could start eating again. I went to the store and purchased all the organic fruit packets I could find. I bought her fresh-squeezed juices and made sure to have some organic oatmeal too. Danielle was very strict about her diet before her diagnosis, so after this occurred, the dietary regulations became even stricter. She had some knowledge of proper diets because she worked as a health assistant for some time with a local MD/ND. The hospital food was far from anything that Danielle would even consider consuming. I did end up making several trips that weekend to purchase everything that she needed.
The first day went as expected, beginning with the nurses waking us up early for the shift change. So far, we had had very nice and helpful nurses. Most were talking to us about chemotherapy because my wife was constantly asking questions. I too had a long list of questions of my own. Most of the advice that we received said to get started as soon as possible. I was a bit concerned about starting treatment so early. Danielle expressed a lot of reservations about any treatment.
From my research, I found that chemotherapy basically stops the division of cells, the hope being that the cancer cells die off first because they have a quicker metabolic rate than our normal cells. I also realized that it stops all cell division, which means it should also halt the healing process. My wife was recovering from the most intense surgery that a woman can receive, she was in great pain, and preparing for several weeks to a month of convalescence. We each had our concerns about what to do next, and we were waiting for answers from the Doctor.
The doctor arrived around 8 am to talk to us about the surgery. We had been anxiously waiting and were nervous beyond all belief. He was a very pleasant and professional surgeon, very truthful and forthcoming with his answers. He immediately told us that it was Cancer when he opened her up. The Doctor was surprised to hear that Danielle remembered anything after the surgery. He told us that no one ever remembered what he told them after they came out of anesthesia. Which is why he told me I would have to tell her. He sat for a moment in amazement at the revelation. The Doctor even asked if she was a trained government agent, she just laughed and said nothing, as he proceeded to explain the surgery.
He explained that he had to make two incisions that went across and up her abdomen. He opened her up and performed the full hysterectomy. Additional exploration showed several inflamed lymph nodes, but there weren’t any significant signs that it had spread. I trusted his words as this was what he did as his specialty; we all felt confident that he had removed any visible signs of cancer. He didn’t consider surgery alone to be enough for her survival. He was dropping the big news bomb on both of our days. He told us that without chemotherapy, she would survive less than a year. This was a big blow to Danielle and a reality check. We were devastated.
Immediately we had questions for him. We were foremost concerned with the side effects of the chemotherapy. Danielle had a bit of a complicated medical history. For my wife, this was also not the first time that she had faced a terminal disease or a life-threatening prognosis. She had at one point in her life suffered from Lupus and Addison’s disease, but both had gone into remission and no longer affected her. She suffered from some problems because of the disease and had to take cortisol, a synthetic hormone, that assisted her when she had Addison’s disease, and her adrenal glands failed. If the lupus were to return, it would cause additional complication.
Another problem being that if she started throwing up and didn’t control it quickly, she would continue to vomit until death. Throwing up might require immediate medical attention. Vomiting and Nausea are the two main side effects of chemotherapy. When we asked the doctor what we should do about this, he said not to worry there were medications to help with that despite Danielle’s reservations about not responding well. The Doctors final recommendation was to try the chemotherapy and see what happens.
My wife and I had discussed before he came in what options we would consider. We both had very strong feelings against full blown chemo. However, the doctor had previously mentioned that there were less harsh versions now available depending on the outcome. I didn’t understand what he meant; this was new news to me. We were hoping the doctor was going to discuss the other options, but the only option he gave was full blown heavy dosage chemo.
During the surgery, he even installed a port into my wife so that they could pour the chemo into her insides. A more aggressive but potentially more effective method of treating the source of cancer. It seemed like a very intense treatment option. On top of that, Danielle was upset that he installed the port in the first place. It made her feel disgusting having something coming out of her. The port never bothered me, I never felt it took away from her beauty. My concerns were on the source of her cancer.
The Doctor only told us he was looking for genetic markers in the Cancer as he didn’t have any other answers as to what caused it. It would take several weeks to discover the results too. He never showed any sign or concern at the cause of the Cancer. His sole and main purpose was to sell his treatment. Encouraging Danielle just to give it a shot, as he explained it was the only option that would offer her a chance for survival. Trust me when I say that the number of times, he reassured us that my wife would die without doing chemo was disgustingly scary.
I had done my research, and on top of that, I had personally experienced the failed chemo patients at work every week. I heard the horror stories. I saw the struggles many of them faced. The hopelessness in their spouse’s eyes, I still didn’t get it at this time, not fully but I started to understand it. I began to see how hopeless the answers were making Danielle — constantly being reminded by the nurses and doctors that she didn’t stand a chance of survival without chemo.
The backlash from the staff, had us stop voicing our disapproval of the treatment options they recommended. Resistance was Futile. It was a group effort we realized we couldn’t compete against and win. They all had the same programming, and nothing we said was going to get them to think otherwise. Hopefully, this book will.
However, I expressed serious concern that they wanted to start treatment the first week after surgery. It upset me how fast the hospital wanted to start treatment while the recovery was still an issue. The doctor conceded that within the first month was fine, but for some reason, the doctor and staff wanted to push for more aggressive treatment. The doctor told us to expect about a two to three-week recovery time from the surgery and that we should immediately start treatment then. I was also wondering how long she would be in the hospital, and he said it would be another four to five days.
The apprehension continued to mount throughout the first two days. Danielle was uncertain about the answers from the doctor, as she didn’t feel that they took her conditions into account. First, she worried that her past illnesses would resurface if she were to do chemo, and in her condition, those problems could cause life-threatening complications. The only solution that they could provide was a long list of medications they use to combat side effects. It was literally if this is wrong, they give this drug, if this happens, they use that drug.
My wife became repeatedly upset because she would have such bad reactions to medications. She had many in her life already that showed adverse side effects; all pain killers would cause severe constipation, while Advil and Tylenol would cause nausea. Then anti-nausea meds would cause seizers. The doctors were facing a complicated patient, but the treatment never changed, the treatment they used was universal, and they never discussed a single other option. This enraged Danielle. She was furious that they hadn’t offered a single treatment option that took her health conditions into account.
I was still caught up on the lack of discovery process involved in the cause of her cancer. It upset me to have no answers to the potential cause of cancer. It felt like more should have been done to address potential causes of cancer, but that didn’t happen either. I anticipated that there might be toxins or chemicals that may have caused it, but there were no tests, no survey, no investigation whatsoever. I left me so angry that I had a difficult time discussing the issue calmly.
Thankfully I received a little reprieve when my mom and sister arrived. Danielle had several friends visit that Sunday too. It was nice that one of her very close friends lived near the hospital. She was able to come by and show some additional support, often giving me a couple of minutes to take a smoke break. I didn’t want to overwhelm my wife with too many visitors or conversations. I could tell after several minutes that my wife was not responding well to my family’s questions. I didn't find it appropriate to go over traumatic experiences in front of Danielle, putting too much stress on her. Danielle’s friend was visiting, so I was able to excuse the three of us.
I thought that grabbing a burger and watching the football game would be nice to get my mind off things. We coincidentally joined the family friend my mom and sister had driven up with at a local restaurant. His wife was strangely enough in the area, visiting a friend who was losing the battle to Cancer. I couldn’t help but feel life had called us together at that moment for support. Synchronicity was playing its cards again, and I couldn’t help but notice that we were all called to the same restaurant. It was a tough time for everyone, but we found comfort in each other.
I said a big goodbye to my sister because she was leaving to teach in Thailand for the year. My mom was returning home to Tucson 2 hours south of Scottsdale. When I got back to the room, I knew my wife was a little upset about my sister and mother’s comments about her having a full hysterectomy. I never thought they would make such horrible comments.
My mom and sister were concerned about the type of surgery and the type of cancer. After discovering it was ovarian and she had a full hysterectomy they were showing immediate concerns. I knew their concerns were that we weren’t going to be having children. I had to tell them that we were planning on adopting anyway to get them to shut up about the kids. Instead, their response was, “Good to hear; we were so worried about that.” Danielle was beyond upset and couldn’t believe they would comment about my wife not being able to have kids.
I didn’t understand the damage and trauma it caused to Danielle since I’m sure she felt bad enough about being robbed of the ability to have kids. This was a very sensitive subject for Danielle, and a source of much immediate sadness. This experience taught me how important it is to be mindful of what we say, and how we say it. Sadly this was just the first of many insane comments that people would say to Danielle that were completely inappropriate or disrespectful.
After my family left, we were back to dealing with the pain. The surgery left my wife unable to move on her own. The first couple of days involved convincing her to use the medications that the hospital had provided because the MMJ wasn’t strong enough to manage all the pain. The MMJ would help, but it wouldn’t make it go away like some of the prescription pain killers could. She needed to rest, and mixing the medications were helping. Still, her fear of constipation was overruling her need to control the pain; she had a high tolerance for pain. It made more sense to her to handle something that she could manage if it meant that a bigger fear could be averted. Danielle did things her way, and there wasn’t a lot I could do to convince her otherwise.
I went to bed Sunday night dreading Monday morning; I was in for the worst case of the Monday’s ever. The reason I wasn’t looking forward to Monday was that I had to work a ten-hour shift in Sedona on Monday morning. Typically I worked normal forty-hour work weeks with four days on three days off. This week I was in for a little more because I switched shifts to have our honeymoon. I would have to work for the next seven days straight.
Monday morning, we were up around five a.m. The nurses started coming in to check on us around 6. I had already applied the topical pain meds that I had bought. We saw better results every day. I was thrilled that it was making her recovery a bit more pleasant. She was still using an occasional dose of the pain meds they had on a drip. She wasn’t thrilled with how it was making her feel as every dose kicked up her nausea. I had to make a quick run to Natural Grocer’s to pick her up some supplies for the day before heading to work. Danielle needed some organic shampoo and conditioner, as well as some more juice snacks. It had to be quick if I was going to make it to work on time.
I promised that I would be back that evening because I wasn’t going to leave her alone a single night. I made a vow that day to always spend my nights with her. I gathered my things together that I needed for the day, and I was off.
I left early enough to miss rush hour traffic at 7:00 am. It was a little more than an hour and forty-five minutes back to Sedona, and I had to work at 10:00 am. I knew that would give me 45 minutes to an hour to get ready and get to work, which was plenty of time. That day at work was particularly hard, I didn’t say much and wasn’t feeling very talkative. Thankfully it wasn’t a busy day, so I was able to send a bunch of “I love you texts to my wife.” After nine hours, my boss let me out a little early. I did tell him about what had transpired, he sympathized. I grabbed everything I had forgotten to grab in our first crazy trip to Scottsdale. I ran by both of our houses, finishing little chores. We did have several days before Danielle would be home.
After I gathered everything, I was back in the car. I made sure to bring plenty of music with me so that I would stay alert. I’ve done some wild long-distance road trips by myself several times, so this just felt like it was going to be a bit of an extended one. I knew I could do it. Life had prepared me for this challenge with many solo road trips.
I’ll mention a notable few. Once, I drove seventeen hundred miles in less than twenty-four hours, making the trip from the Illinois border to Arizona. I also made a twenty-four-hour round trip to San Diego from Tucson to make it to a family reunion, Sunday was the only day I could get covered at work, so I left after a fifteen-hour shift at 3:00 am, then drove five hours to surprise the family at breakfast. I believe only my sister knew I was coming. Sadly I also had to work the following day. So I spent eight hours with the family took an hour and a half power nap and drove another six-hours home. It may not have always been fun, but it was always worth the trip.
My favorite adventure was a day trip from Tucson, AZ to Los Angeles, a short eight-hour drive each way. All to watch a US vs. Mexico soccer game with my roommates. Knowing full well I had to drive back immediately after the game to make it to my 8 am soccer game the following day. A game that we just so happened to win down three players. I guess you could say that long-distance road adventures have tested my commitments to the extreme, and I knew this was going to be one of my greatest tests of commitment. I committed to being with my wife every night, and I wouldn’t let her down.
The first trip back wasn’t a challenge at all. I was so excited to see my wife that my adrenaline just kept me super alert and super anxious. I sent a text or two to let her know my progress, but after an hour and 40 minutes, I was at the hospital entrance. Still had to take the elevator to level 3 and then go to the other end of the building, but I was just so happy to see my wife.
When we saw each other, we kissed and hugged and cried because we were so happy to be together again. It was about 10:00 pm at this point, but I wanted to stay up with her and talk. She told me how her friend from Phoenix had stopped by to show her support. She also talked about what she was going to do about telling the girls in her dance classes. She didn’t want any rumors getting out. I told her that wasn’t something we needed to worry about right now.
One of her friends and the parent of a student showed up over the weekend and drafted up an announcement while I was having lunch with my family. It didn’t reveal anything other than Danielle was temporarily closing the studio because of health concerns. She knew that it was going to make a lot of people worry because so many saw her as indestructible. It was a miracle she survived most of the events of her life, and many of her friends knew this. Danielle was miraculous in every sense. It always appeared like nothing could keep Danielle down, the cat with nine lives. Danielle never wanted to show weakness to the community, a community that she said loves to spread rumors.
Coincidentally, the friend who was now living in Phoenix had to move away from Sedona to avoid small-town gossip. When people make choices with their lives because they lose a loved one, it isn’t right to expect that person to go back to the way things used to be. Loss changes people, and many choose different paths when confronted with death. Danielle and I were reevaluating our situation faced with our new challenges.
To some, it could be a wake-up call; each of us must choose how we deal with the grief. Support is what people need, and asking inappropriate questions, or making any selfish comments are just unacceptable. Danielle wouldn’t stand for it. Sadly, people are so selfish that they would impose their needs or desires above another person’s. Too often, Danielle would push her desires aside to help others; she was the definition of supportive.
Support comes in many forms, it can be a kind word, showing up for someone, a home cooked meal, it can be a simple compliment, or offering to sit down and listen to someone, and when I say listen, I mean listen. Most importantly, any information which is shared is confidential, and should never flow into gossip. Today people spread crazy rumors to feel better about themselves. It is talking about the worst in people versus encouraging the best.
We don’t compliment random people unless they really stand out, but it’s the people who are not standing out that most need the encouragement. It is the homeless person that needs the reassuring word. We give all our energy to the glitz and glamor of life and compliment the pretty people but forget to compliment the person who is trying and struggling. Danielle would see these people and would offer support.
My wife made everyone feel special. I know that was one of the things I loved so much about her. I would like to believe I made her feel as special as she made me feel. It felt like I owed it to her to make her feel extraordinary. To provide the support and understanding she needed most. I felt beyond protective of her and didn’t want her to experience any additional stress from outside sources. We had enough to deal with at the hospital. She was constantly being scared by the nursing staff, convincing her that she needed to do Chemo.
After my first day back at work, my wife’s attitude towards chemo was already shifting. I was a little concerned, although I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get some more information. That night I went to bed on the fold-out couch as I had over the weekend. It was just nice to be with her and show her the support she deserved. We still had our intimate moments, despite the hellish nightmare we faced. It proved our love was deeper than anything purely physical. We had an emotional connection that neither of us had ever shared with another person in our lives. Neither of us had ever known such genuine love, and she knew at that point that I wasn’t going anywhere.
The next morning, I was up at 6:00 am again. Danielle and I spent an hour with each other. We talked more, and we said a lot of “I love you’s.” However, I had to head back for day two at work, and it was another hour and forty minutes home. I threw on some music for another smooth trip home. I Cleaned up, changed into my work clothes and I was back out the door. At work that day, I did a little research on Chemotherapy.
I started with cancer.gov, which is pro chemotherapy. I looked up all the information I could. The main thing I was looking for was more clarification on potential side effects and what we could expect while going through chemo. We hadn’t received many answers that satisfied my wife or me for that matter. I knew that no matter what we decided, we were going to make an incredibly informed decision. I read all the material that they provided on the website and printed out the information that I thought Danielle would want to read as well.
I thankfully got out of work early the next night as well, and I was heading home quick before going back to Phoenix. I was still feeling good and was ready for another trip back down the mountain. I packed up some snacks and hit the road. At this point, my wife was always anxious and wondering when I would be there. I arrived around 9:00 pm and was able to spend a nice evening rubbing the medicine into her feet. It had become somewhat of a ritual that I would give her a foot massage every time I applied her meds, well since I didn’t use gloves, I guess it was both of our meds.
I know at the time that I did use Medical Marijuana for anxiety, sometimes sleep, and for pain as well. I have used it more often recreationally, but I understood the medicinal benefits as well. The application of the Rick Simpson Oil, it was having a calming effect on me too, which was a good state for me to be of service. Danielle needed me to be calm, cool, and collected, because I was her rock, for the times when she couldn’t be calm and collected.
Four Days after her surgery, she stopped using the prescription meds, she was constipated, which was a common side effect she had from those meds and the anesthesia. She also had developed a bad case of ascites, which is when there is fluid buildup in the abdomen. The doctor recommended that they install a drainage port to take care of the issue. So my wife would have to be put under again for them to install this. I would have to say that the anesthetic they used gave her the worst side effects. The nurses constantly reminded her that it would take several weeks for that to clear the body. It was going to make her feel completely awful all over again having to go through this procedure, and they were going to do it the next day.
That night we discussed a little more about the treatment options. She was becoming increasingly supportive of trying chemotherapy. It was quite the shift for her considering that initially she had said there was absolutely no way that she would be doing chemo, but She didn’t want to tell them that. We felt forced to play along with doing the traditional treatment. Now she wasn’t playing. Danielle was serious about Chemo.
I pulled out the information sheets I found from the American Cancer Society; it was a lot of information. The first and most important thing I thought we should go over is the Side Effect Worksheet that is used to monitor and tell how you are responding to the treatment. It was literally four full pages of nasty side effects such as vomiting, diarrhea, constipation (yeah you can get both apparently), swelling, allergic reactions, and about twelve other side effects that all list levels of severity. We were supposed to use it to track her negative reactions.
Danielle’s immediate response was, “Fuck That.” She proceeded to say that most of the side effects and the main side effects were practically fatal with her pre-existing conditions. If she started throwing up ever, we would have to go to the ER, and they would have to administer a drug that helps her stop vomiting but makes her feel horrible. A coworker and neighbor confirmed to me that he had to take her non-stop puking to the ER one night. He definitely made it sound about two hundred percent funnier than it was, but that was just the type of guy he was, always making jokes.
Danielle and I decided it was probably best not to tell the Nurses that she wasn’t interested in doing chemo. If she did, it was clear that they were going to continue to pressure her into doing it. They practically scared my wife into starting chemo; thankfully, she didn’t succumb to the fear, and her rational mind won over. I should also say that according to the most recent statistics at the time, stated that she only had an eight percent chance of survival with chemo or radiation. I have noticed the statistics have drastically changed to closer to forty percent. Eight percent didn’t inspire hope.
The hospital could not provide most of what my wife needed and didn’t carry chemical-free, organic, or non-GMO food. The hospital couldn’t give her any information on available alternative treatments. They wouldn’t discuss alternative options even though over one hundred different alternatives have been shown to fight cancer in one way or another. I knew it was in Danielle’s best interest to get out of the hospital.
However, we had a problem. Danielle was still constipated. It had been about five days at this point, so it was starting to become a concern. The next day she had to go under for a small procedure, which meant more anesthesia. Creating more worry about the continued constipation as a result. The nurses reminded us that she hadn’t eaten enough to have a bowel movement.
We tried to get some sleep that night, but we both found it rather difficult. Most of our nights had been restless, and by day three of work, I could feel a bit of the emotional exhaustion. I was wiped out, but at least I had the drive and some music always to allow me to re-center myself to be the best I could be for my wife.
The following several days were very similar; I was driving every morning back to Sedona for an eight to nine-hour shift then hopping in the car to drive back to Phoenix to spend the night with my wife. Friday was the big exception, I didn’t work early in the morning, but I also hadn’t gone out looking for a new job either. I was slightly more concerned about making more money at this point. Especially considering we were facing the cost of alternative treatments which is never covered by insurance. I knew I needed to make more money.
I left a little later that morning around ten a.m. to head back and get cleaned up so I could apply to several restaurants. I was completely exhausted at this point and didn’t have the energy for job hunting. I didn’t have an option, and I needed to find a better job. I wished at this point in my life that I had a more stable foundation because much of this additional stress was because of financial need. It was an added stress because we were going to be out her income for several weeks, according to the doctor. I was seeing that it could be even longer than that for her to be able to teach again. So I decided to do what I could.
The first place I applied to was the restaurant at the end of Danielle’s street. I figured the menu and the style of dining was a perfect fit for me. I walked in and asked to fill out an application. I sat down at the bar and started filling it out, soon afterward the owner walked in. I said hi and introduced myself and told her that I had just married Miss Danielle.
Right away, she was impressed and told me that she absolutely loved Danielle. I didn’t feel it was the time to tell her what had happened yet. At once, she gave me the job, but I knew I still had to fill out the application for her records. I was so happy that at least I had accomplished what I came home early to do. I immediately went home for a needed nap before work that day.
After a five-hour shift, I went home. I was truly feeling the exhaustion setting in, and I was starting to worry about the drive. I wasn’t feeling my usual strong, vibrant self. Facing exhaustion, I couldn’t give up now. I hate to admit, but my secret weapon for extended road trips is nicotine or cigarettes typically. I gave up chewing tobacco seven years ago, but it wasn’t until I met Danielle that I was able to kick the smoking tobacco addiction. She made it easy, and after six weeks, I could really use one.
The stress was getting to me, and the need for a cigarette was at an all-time high. I knew I could safely drive anywhere if I had a little nicotine. I broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes. I wanted to keep it a secret and fully intended to give them up as soon as I was done driving like crazy. Loaded with my secret road trip weapon, I made it safely to Phoenix that night.
I brushed my teeth when I arrived and went up to see my beautiful wife. I am sorry I haven’t mentioned it more, but when I say she was beautiful, she was still beautiful. People couldn’t believe how lovely she looked, especially after her surgeries. Danielle always maintained that natural inner attractiveness she had inside. Even though Danielle was tough on herself, she would always get the best compliments from everyone who met her. Most said they wished they looked half as good when they weren’t sick. It was cute but still made Danielle feel like she was still missing some of that allure because of the circumstances.
We had another great evening together, but I also tried to get some rest. I had brought up all the orgonite that I had made and put it in the room. I immediately noticed that I slept better when it was in the room versus when it wasn’t. I made sure to always leave it in the room with Danielle because I’m sure it was helping her too. For those unfamiliar with orgonite, it is a substance that can be made using metal shavings, a resin, and crystals that helps protect from harmful EMF radiation. The radiation from all the devices was unavoidable in the hospital.
Most people tell me that they sleep better when they put a piece orgonite next to their bed. I never had a sleeping problem until now. I needed the rest, and so did my wife. I knew that I needed to do what I could to assist. The first night we both slept was the first night I brought a bag full of orgonite in the room. I later decorated the room with tons of pyramids. The addition had created a noticeable difference in my ability to sleep.
When we woke up on Saturday morning, it was another beautiful sunny day. We always seemed to wake up around sunrise. It also gave us an hour or two to talk before I had to go to work. I left that day, knowing that it looked like Danielle would be released on Monday. It brought me a lot of relief because I had Monday and Tuesday off so I would be able to take her home.
The next two days went without a hitch, and finally, Sunday night arrived. I was just relieved to have completed my endurance challenge for the week. It was nice just to know that we were likely to be discharged the next day. We could finally return home together.
We woke up with high hopes that we would be able to get out of the hospital quick. It ended up taking about five hours longer than expected but at least when we were able to leave Danielle was doing much better. The previous ten days had been enough, and she was pulling together all her strength for the car trip home. She was still suffering from extreme pain from the surgery, it had done a number on her, and the ascites was still causing severe discomfort too. My only goal was to make it home safe. I took it slow, making it home in about two hours.
We made it back to my house that evening around eight p.m. It was fantastic to get her settled into bed finally. I made sure to double dose her with medical marijuana. She was able to start eating the MMJ by this point, which was better for sleep and anxiety. I had to be careful not to give her too much because she didn’t enjoy being “super stoned,” as some might put it. In the evenings, it was a very useful tool to help her sleep and rest her thoughts. My home would be our new home. We had a journey of recovery and healing ahead of us.
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Complex trauma and its aftermath affect each of us in unique ways, leaving key aspects of development irresolute, disrupting emotional regulation, warping our attachment styles, changing the shapes of our brains and the way they communicate with the rest of our biology, and altering our mind-body connection. In addition, throughout our lifespans and as our journeys through recovery change and evolve, we may uncover additional issues that we once thought did not affect us or apply to us but now suddenly do. For those reasons, it is difficult to compile a list of resources that is simple or succinct; hence, this list is long and may feel overwhelming.
Please do not feel like you must read every single one to begin on your journey or to make progress in your healing—that isn't necessary.
If you cannot access these books, please check YouTube for the author or title of the book that interests you—related content may exist there, as well as on the authors' personal websites. If you find anything that is particularly useful to you, please drop us the link, and we will add it to our list!
Please let us know if (1) there's a specific resource you'd like us to add, and (2) other related subjects you'd like to see included here.
Please note: As David Treleavan writes in Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness, “People assume that, in order to heal, they have to dive headfirst back into their trauma. But that’s not true. Emotional catharsis—an intense purgation of emotions—doesn’t necessarily mean someone is integrating trauma. Often it can just end up pushing someone outside of their window of tolerance. To find stability, survivors can begin tracking their window so they can self-regulate. They need to learn what they can stay present for, and, conversely, what they can’t tolerate” (p. 226-7). Prior to delving into the resources listed on this page, please become familiar with how to identify and manage emotional flashbacks in order to limit retraumatizing yourself. If you become hyperaroused (agitated, emotionally reactive, feeling out of control) or hypoaroused (fatigued, lethargic, immobile) when reading, those may be signs that you are working outside your window of tolerance and need to take a break. Re-establish feelings of safety and stability; use grounding and containment exercises to orient and anchor yourself within your environment.

CPTSD-Specific

• Pete Walker
  • CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. This book is one of the most frequently-referenced within our community. While the text itself focuses specifically on childhood traumas and parent-child dynamics, many of the concepts, tools, and techniques for recovery can be borrowed to help in addressing symptoms that are common in folks with CPTSD. Key topics include: managing emotional flashbacks, the four types of trauma responses (fight, flight, fawn, freeze, or 4Fs), the outer critic, the inner critic, abandonment, self-parenting, and "the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt.”
  • The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness Out of Blame by Pete Walker. From the Amazon description: "This book is a handbook for increasing your emotional intelligence. The Tao of Fully Feeling focuses primarily on the emotional healing level of trauma recovery....Whether or not you are a childhood trauma survivor, this book is a guide to emotional health."
  • See the following excerpts from this text at Walker's website: The Importance of Recovering the Feeling Nature, Recovery and Self-Pity, Forgiveness: Begins with the Self, Suggested Intentions for Recovery, Human Bill of Rights, Tools for Lovingly Resolving Conflict, and Therapist Heal Thyself.
• Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman. The first use of "CPTSD" to describe our specific struggles is often attributed to Herman. From the Amazon description: "[Trauma and Recovery] has become the basic text for understanding trauma survivors. By placing individual experience in a broader political frame, Judith Herman argues that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as on a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war....Trauma and Recovery is essential reading for anyone who seeks to understand how we heal and are healed."

All the Rest

As this list continues to grow, it's likely that its shape will change. For now, this is a mix of user-recommended books as well as texts that are popular within the field of trauma studies.

• Peter Levine
  • Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body From the Amazon description: "Researchers have shown that survivors of accidents, disaster, and childhood trauma often en endure lifelong symptoms ranging from anxiety and depression to unexplained physical pain, fatigue, illness, and harmful 'acting out' behaviors....Join [Peter Levine] to discover: how to develop body awareness to 'renegotiate' and heal traumas by 'revisiting' them rather than reliving them; emergency 'first-aid' measures for times of distress; and nature's lessons for uncovering the physiological roots of your emotions."
  • FREE: Listen to an audio version of this book here.
  • Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, a text that "asks and answers an intriguing question: why are animals in the wild, though threatened routinely, rarely traumatized?" and offers "a guided tour of the subtle, yet powerful impulses that govern our responses to overwhelming life events" by "[employing] a series of exercises that help us focus on bodily sensations" in order to heal our traumas.
• The Pocket Guide to Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe by Stephen Porges. This text explores "the important link between psychological experiences and physical manifestations in the body."
  • For more information about the polyvagal theory, check out this YouTube video.
• Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy by Jay Earley. From the Amazon description: "Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country in the past decade. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues. IFS is also user-friendly; it helps you to comprehend the complexity of your psyche. Dr. Earley shows how IFS is a complete method for psychological healing that you can use on your own."
• Beverly Engel
  • Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame. From the Amazon description: "Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth." This text explores Engel's Mirror Therapy approach to healing, identifies seven types of emotionally abusive or neglectful parents, and offers exercises to increase self-acceptance and self-esteem, re-parent your inner child, and help connect readers with the "person you were meant to become."
  • It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion. thewayofxen writes, "It doesn't mention CPTSD; rather, it's a book about how childhood abuse causes extreme shame, and it teaches self-compassion as the antidote. When someone's starting point is 'I can't even talk about this stuff, not to anyone, even my therapist,' this book is exactly what they need."
• John Bradshaw
  • Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. From the Amazon description: "Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures."
  • Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw. From the Amazon description: "Are you outwardly successful but inwardly do you feel like a big kid? Do you aspire to be a loving parent but all too often “lose it” in hurtful ways? Do you crave intimacy but sometimes wonder if it’s worth the struggle? Or are you plagued by constant vague feelings of anxiety or depression?...If any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the hidden but damaging effects of a painful childhood—carrying within you a 'wounded inner child' that is crying out for attention and healing....Through a step-by-step process of exploring the unfinished business of each developmental stage, we can break away from destructive family rules and roles and free ourselves to live responsibly in the present. Then, says Bradshaw, the healed inner child becomes a source of vitality, enabling us to find new joy and energy in living."
• Codependence: Healing the Human Condition by Charles Whitfield. This book may be useful to survivors who have asked themselves, Who am I without my trauma? Can I still be loved if I am not sacrificing myself and my own well-being in support of others? From the Amazon description: "At last: a concise and stimulating book with all the essential features and more about the nearly universal condition of co-dependence. Bestselling author Dr. Charles Whitfield discusses in detail how co-dependence is a major manifestation of being an adult child of a dysfunctional family, and provides specific psychotherapeutic and recovery methods to help heal its wounds."
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson. According to Gibson, there are four types of "difficult parents": the "emotional parent," whose volatility creates unpredictablibility and feelings of anxiety in the child; the "driven parent," whose goal is to maintain a facade of perfection; the "passive parent," who checks out when emotional support is needed by the child; and the "rejecting parent," who is "withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory." This text explores the child's internalizations of those parents, how they linger long into adulthood, and ways to heal.
• The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jasmin Lee Cori. This text explores childhood emotional neglect and abuse, the inner child, and "reflections and exercises" for (re)connecting with the inner child.
• Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love by Robert Karen. This text focuses on attachment theory. It seeks to answer the questions, "How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults? Why do we repeat with our own children--seemingly against our will--the very behaviors we most disliked about our parents?"
• Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine. From the Amazon description: "With every encounter, we either demonstrate that we’ll protect what we value or that we’ll give ourselves away. Healthy boundaries preserve our integrity. Unlike defenses, which isolate us from our true selves and from those we love, boundaries filter out harm....This book provides the tools and insights needed to create boundaries so that we can allow time and energy for the things that matter—and helps break down limiting defenses that stunt personal growth. Focusing on every facet of daily life—from friendships and sexual relationships to dress and appearance to money, food, and psychotherapy—Katherine presents case studies highlighting the ways in which individuals violate their own boundaries or let other people breach them. Using real-life examples, from self-sacrificing mothers to obsessive neat freaks, she offers specific advice on making choices that balance one’s own needs with the needs of others."
• Opening Up By Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain by James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth. From scientificdreamer: "[TW: some of the trauma stories included in the book can be graphic, including depictions of rapes and war crimes] This is the text that first launched the technique of expressive writing as part of trauma healing: writing in freeform about a trauma for 15’ or 20' intervals every day, with the goal of focusing on understanding your own emotions (not just venting). The main premise of the book is that secrecy around trauma is especially harmful and leads to somatization, while turning experiences into language helps process them. In addition to a number of writing prompts and exercises for trauma journaling, the work is enriched by evidence of the connection between trauma and long-term illnesses. I suggest reading the most recent edition of this work, as its revisions incorporate over 20 years’ worth of clinical and therapeutic experience with writing-based healing and the most recent findings about the effect of trauma on the brain."
• Writing As a Way of Healing: How Telling Our Stories Transforms Our Lives by Louise DeSalvo. From scientificdreamer: "This book was not written by a mental health professional, but by a literary scholar, novelist and memoirist who has confronted her own family and personal traumas in a number of non-fiction works. Building on Pennebaker’s work on expressive writing, DeSalvo collects a number of helpful tips to write one own’s story with analytical depth, avoiding ‘venting’ and remaining connected to others and society at large. The work does not name explicitly CPTSD, but many facets of her depiction of trauma resonate with it. Even though the author was a professor of creative writing, the book is helpful for anyone who processes trauma effectively through writing, not just those aiming for publication."
• Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. This book explores the intersections of trauma, adverse childhood experiences, and biology. From the Amazon description: "The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults, but it also affects our physical health, longevity, and overall wellbeing. Scientists now know on a bio-chemical level exactly how parents’ chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical “fingerprints” on our brains....When children encounter sudden or chronic adversity, stress hormones cause powerful changes in the body, altering the body’s chemistry. The developing immune system and brain react to this chemical barrage by permanently resetting children’s stress response to 'high,' which in turn can have a devastating impact on their mental and physical health as they grow up."
• Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE): A revolutionary new method for stress/trauma recovery by David Berceli. From the Amazon description: "This book explains many aspects of the trauma recovery process in uncomplicated language and uses basic concepts for the non-professional. It includes the ground-breaking, Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE). These exercises elicit mild psychogenic tremors that release deep chronic tension in the body and assist the individual in the trauma healing process."
• Brainspotting: The Revolutionary New Therapy for Rapid and Effective Change by David Grand.
• EMDR and the Universal Healing Tao: An Energy Psychology Approach to Overcoming Emotional Trauma by Mantak Chia and Doug Hilton. From the Amazon description: "Providing step-by-step instructions for each practice, the authors show how to deactivate your emotional triggers, trace energy disturbances back to the affected organ systems, transform negative emotions into positive ones, and harmonize the organs with EMDR and the Universal Healing Tao techniques of the Inner Smile, the Six Healing Sounds, and the Microcosmic Orbit. The result is a powerful self-healing practice that can be learned and applied quickly and easily."
• The iRest Program for Healing PTSD: A Proven Effective Approach to Using Yoga Nidgra Meditation and Deep Relaxtion Techniques to Overcoming Trauma by Richard Miller. According to the Amazon description: this book "offers an innovative and proven-effective ten-step yoga program for treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The deep relaxation meditations in this book will help you overcome the common symptoms of PTSD, such as anxiety, insomnia, and depression, and maintain emotional stability so that you can return to living a full, meaningful life."
• The Psoas Book by Liz Koch. From Glimmerlicht, this text "goes into super detail about how tension and trauma is stored in the body with lots of exercises for releasing the deep core muscles."
• The New Rules of Posture: How to Sit, Stand, and Move in the Modern World by Mary Bond. From Glimmerlicht, this text is "super great for learning how to move and breathe better and she really breaks things down."

Written for Clinicians/Mental Health Practitioners

These books were written by/for clinicians and mental health practitioners and/or take a more clinical, in-depth approach to examining and explaining trauma and its aftereffects.
Please note: While a multitude of survivors have found these resources invaluable in broadening and deepening their understanding of trauma and its impact(s), many have also reported finding the content of these books triggering. For that reason, it is paramount that you are able to identify and manage emotional flashbacks and know how to grounding and containment exercises prior to accessing these resources in order to prevent retraumatizing yourself, especially if you are sorting through your trauma without the support of a trained professional.

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. At this time, this book is one of the most widely recommended resources within the trauma community. While van der Kolk does not speak at length about CPTSD, he does spend several chapters exploring the childhood trauma and its effects on development. From the Amazon description: “Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.”
  
  • To view/listen to one of van der Kolk's talks of the same name, visit this YouTube video.
• Nurturing Resilience: Helping Clients Move Foward from Developmental Trauma--An Integrative Somatic Approach by Kathy L. Kain and Stephen J. Terrell. From the Amazon description: "Kathy L. Kain and Stephen J. Terrell draw on fifty years of their combined clinical and teaching experience to provide this clear road map for understanding the complexities of early trauma and its related symptoms. Experts in the physiology of trauma, the authors present an introduction to their innovative somatic approach that has evolved to help thousands improve their lives. Synthesizing across disciplines--Attachment, Polyvagal, Neuroscience, Child Development Theory, Trauma, and Somatics--this book provides a new lens through which to understand safety and regulation. It includes the survey used in the groundbreaking ACE Study, which discovered a clear connection between early childhood trauma and chronic health problems. For therapists working with both adults and children and anyone dealing with symptoms that typically arise from early childhood trauma--anxiety, behavioral issues, depression, metabolic disorders, migraine, sleep problems, and more--this book offers fresh hope."
  
• Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Otto van der Hart. From the Amazon description: “This training manual for patients who have a trauma-related dissociative disorder includes short educational pieces, homework sheets, and exercises that address ways in which dissociation interferes with essential emotional and life skills, and support inner communication and collaboration with dissociative parts of the personality. Topics include understanding dissociation and PTSD, using inner reflection, emotion regulation, coping with dissociative problems related to triggers and traumatic memories, resolving sleep problems related to dissociation, coping with relational difficulties, and help with many other difficulties with daily life. The manual can be used in individual therapy or structured groups.”
  
• Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation: A Practical, Integrative Approach by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Otto van der Hart. From the Amazon description: “The book offers an overview of the neuropsychology of dissociation as a disorder of non-realization, as well as chapters on assessment, prognosis, case formulation, treatment planning, and treatment phases and goals, based on best practices. The authors describe what to focus on first in a complex therapy, and how to do it; how to help patients establish both internal and external safety without rescuing; how to work systematically with dissociative parts of a patient in ways that facilitate integration rather than further dissociation; how to set and maintain helpful boundaries; specific ways to stay focused on process instead of content; how to deal compassionately and effectively with disorganized attachment and dependency on the therapist; how to help patients integrate traumatic memories; what to do when the patient is enraged, chronically ashamed, avoidant, or unable to trust the therapist; and how to compassionately understand and work with resistances as a co-creation of both patient and therapist.”
  
• Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher. From the Amazon description: “Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors integrates a neurobiologically informed understanding of trauma, dissociation, and attachment with a practical approach to treatment, all communicated in straightforward language accessible to both client and therapist. Readers will be exposed to a model that emphasizes ‘resolution’―a transformation in the relationship to one’s self, replacing shame, self-loathing, and assumptions of guilt with compassionate acceptance. Its unique interventions have been adapted from a number of cutting-edge therapeutic approaches, including Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems, mindfulness-based therapies, and clinical hypnosis. Readers will close the pages of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors with a solid grasp of therapeutic approaches to traumatic attachment, working with undiagnosed dissociative symptoms and disorders, integrating ‘right brain-to-right brain’ treatment methods, and much more. Most of all, they will come away with tools for helping clients create an internal sense of safety and compassionate connection to even their most dis-owned selves.”
  
• The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization by Kathy Steele, Onno van der Hart, and Ellert R.S. Nijenhuis. This text is both extremely heavy in its use of clinical terms and extremely long. From the Amazon description: “Many patients have substantial problems with daily living and relationships, including serious intrapsychic conflicts and maladaptive coping strategies. Their suffering essentially relates to a terrifying and painful past that haunts them. Even when survivors attempt to hide their distress beneath a facade of normality―a common strategy―therapists often feel besieged by their many symptoms and serious pain. Small wonder that many survivors of chronic traumatization have seen several therapists with little if any gains, and that quite a few have been labeled as untreatable or resistant…. Based on the theory of structural dissociation of the personality in combination with a Janetian psychology of action, the authors have developed a model of phase-oriented treatment that focuses on the identification and treatment of structural dissociation and related maladaptive mental and behavioral actions. The foundation of this approach is to support patients in learning more effective mental and behavioral actions that will enable them to become more adaptive in life and to resolve their structural dissociation. This principle implies an overall therapeutic goal of raising the integrative capacity, in order to cope with the demands of daily life and deal with the haunting remnants of the past, with the ‘unfinished business’ of traumatic memories.”
  
• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment by Pat Ogden. From the Amazon description: “The body’s intelligence is largely an untapped resource in psychotherapy, yet the story told by the “somatic narrative”-- gesture, posture, prosody, facial expressions, eye gaze, and movement -- is arguably more significant than the story told by the words. The language of the body communicates implicit meanings and reveals the legacy of trauma and of early or forgotten dynamics with attachment figures. To omit the body as a target of therapeutic action is an unfortunate oversight that deprives clients of a vital avenue of self-knowledge and change....this book is a practical guide to the language of the body. It begins with a section that orients therapists and clients to the volume and how to use it, followed by an overview of the role of the brain and the use of mindfulness. The last three sections are organized according to a phase approach to therapy, focusing first on developing personal resources, particularly somatic ones; second on utilizing a bottom-up, somatic approach to memory; and third on exploring the impact of attachment on procedural learning, emotional biases, and cognitive distortions. Each chapter is accompanied by a guide to help therapists apply the chapter’s teachings in clinical practice and by worksheets to help clients integrate the material on a personal level.”
  
• The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation by Stephen Porges. From the Amazon description: "This book compiles, for the first time, Stephen W. Porges’s decades of research. A leading expert in developmental psychophysiology and developmental behavioral neuroscience, Porges is the mind behind the groundbreaking Polyvagal Theory, which has startling implications for the treatment of anxiety, depression, trauma, and autism. Adopted by clinicians around the world, the Polyvagal Theory has provided exciting new insights into the way our autonomic nervous system unconsciously mediates social engagement, trust, and intimacy."
  
  • For more information about the polyvagal theory, check out this YouTube video.
• The Neurobiology and Treatment of Traumatic Dissociation: Toward an Embodied Self by Ulrich F. Lanius, Sandra L. Paulsen, and Frank M. Corrigan. Summary from OCLC WorldCat: "This text discusses current neuroscientific research regarding traumatic stress and dissociation that includes attachment, affective neuroscience, polyvagal theory, structural dissociation, and information processing theory, yielding a comprehensive model that guides treatment and clinical interventions for traumatic dissociation. It then integrates this model with stage-oriented treatment and current therapeutic interventions, including EMDR, somatic and body psychotherapy approaches, Ego State Therapy, and adjunctive pharmacological interventions. Readers are given hands-on practical guidance regarding clinical decision making, enabling them to make sound choices about interventions that will facilitate optimal treatment outcome."
  
• Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Transformative Healing by David Treleaven. From the Amazon description: "Drawing on a decade of research and clinical experience, psychotherapist and educator David Treleaven shows that mindfulness meditation―practiced without an awareness of trauma―can exacerbate symptoms of traumatic stress. Instructed to pay close, sustained attention to their inner world, survivors can experience flashbacks, dissociation, and even retraumatization....This raises a crucial question for mindfulness teachers, trauma professionals, and survivors everywhere: How can we minimize the potential dangers of mindfulness for survivors while leveraging its powerful benefits? Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness offers answers to this question. Part I provides an insightful and concise review of the histories of mindfulness and trauma, including the way modern neuroscience is shaping our understanding of both. Through grounded scholarship and wide-ranging case examples, Treleaven illustrates the ways mindfulness can help―or hinder―trauma recovery....Part II distills these insights into five key principles for trauma-sensitive mindfulness. Covering the role of attention, arousal, relationship, dissociation, and social context within trauma-informed practice, Treleaven offers 36 specific modifications designed to support survivors’ safety and stability. The result is a groundbreaking and practical approach that empowers those looking to practice mindfulness in a safe, transformative way."
  
• The Child Survivor by Joyanna Silberg. From the Amazon description: "The Child Survivor is a clinically rich, comprehensive overview of the treatment of children and adolescents who have developed dissociative symptoms in response to ongoing developmental trauma. Joyanna Silberg, a widely respected authority in the field, uses case examples to illustrate hard-to-manage clinical dilemmas such as children presenting with rage reactions, amnesia, and dissociative shut-down. These behaviors are often survival strategies, and in The Child Survivor practitioners will find practical management tools that are backed up by recent scientific advances in neurobiology."
  
• Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame: A Relational/Neurobiological Approach by Patricia A. DeYoung. From the Amazon description: “Chronic shame is painful, corrosive, and elusive. It resists self-help and undermines even intensive psychoanalysis." Using "new brain science" and principles from the "tradition of relational psychotherapy," this text examines "how chronic shame is wired into the brain and developed in personality."
  

Coming Next: Workbooks, Podcasts, and Websites--Oh My!

HI All:
I went to this doctor several years ago and was on a ketosis diet. It wasn't exactly Keto, because it was also very low fat, but I have been able to use many of the tools and principles from that diet now that i am giving Keto a shot.
He has a lot of great handouts. I think that they would be great for anyone needing some encouragement or structure to their program.

• The exchange list shows carb counts
• The 'keeping it off' series has tons of good worksheets for tracking fluids, exercise etc. It also has a lot of good diet myth busting tips.
• The food journals aren't too helpful for keto, but they could easily be modified for people who don't want to enter every food/recipe into MFP. Just enter the # of carbs/protein etc for each meal.
• The rest of the handouts are great for people dealing with specific health issues: depression, metabolic syndrome etc.

I hope you find these helpful!
Edit: forgot the link! http://www.clinicalnutritioncenter.com/faq/resources/handouts/

Alright so back in January I decided I'm 21 and I need to get off my ass and actually get into the best shape of my life. Granted I was a twig weakling benching 95 pounds and was doing way too many workouts, horribly balanced and low caloric diet, and wasn't too consistent through march. (got dem first world metabolism problems) Then I started reading up on my shit, followed Fit's worksheet, Started doing SS, running miles every day, removing all proceeded food and focusing on protein in my diet. I started seeing slow, but real progress through June where I had gotten my Bench up to 145 and all my other lifts increased etc. However all through the later half of june and into the first of july I really wasn't making any gains. So I questioned what it was and like fucking idiot I didn't realize my calorie intake was like that of a malnourished wombat only taking in 800-1500 calories a day after tracking it all through june. I realized that I'd never start getting stronger and more tone unless I started feed my body not only the right nutrients, but the right amount. Since the start of July I have bumped my puny intake up from 1500 to 2600 Kcal a day to accommodate my goals. Now that we're past all the history shiggin' shat, here I am today, and I want to know If i'm still on the right path and doing the right lifts, eating the right stuff, and maintaining the right routine. As of now I weight 169 and when I started I weighed......... 165. My ultimate goal is to be able to get to 180, lean, and tone by august 1st of 2014. I'm keeping my intake at least to 2600 Kcals a day and my diet is focused on chicken, steak, lean pork, eggs, veggies, brown rice, fruit, greek yogurt, soy burgers, trail mix to fill calories, and I drink nothing but a gallon of water and a quart of milk a day. As for my routine I do a slightly modified version of SS based on what i've been told by people on forums after giving my spill. [Everything is 3x10] Monday-Bench(145), press(80), and barbell pullover(65) Wenesday- Squat(165), deadlift(125), Upright rowing(75) Friday- BentOver rowing(85), Dips(to exhaustion), pullups (exhaustion) I do at least 30 minutes of p90x yoga every day and do p90x ab ripper x on my off days. (I stopped running miles every day to focus more on bulking for now) If anyone can give me any tips, points out my misguided faults, or anything, I'd very much appreciate it! I really want to overcome this wall I've hit! :)

Alright so back in January I decided I'm 21 and I need to get off my ass and actually get into the best shape of my life. Granted I was a twig weakling benching 95 pounds and was doing way too many workouts, horribly balanced and low caloric diet, and wasn't too consistent through march. (got dem first world metabolism problems) Then I started reading up on my shit, followed Fit's worksheet, Started doing SS, running miles every day, removing all proceeded food and focusing on protein in my diet. I started seeing slow, but real progress through June where I had gotten my Bench up to 145 and all my other lifts increased etc. However all through the later half of june and into the first of july I really wasn't making any gains. So I questioned what it was and like fucking idiot I didn't realize my calorie intake was like that of a malnourished wombat only taking in 800-1500 calories a day after tracking it all through june. I realized that I'd never start getting stronger and more tone unless I started feed my body not only the right nutrients, but the right amount. Since the start of July I have bumped my puny intake up from 1500 to 2600 Kcal a day to accommodate my goals.
Now that we're past all the history shiggin' shat, here I am today, and I want to know If i'm still on the right path and doing the right lifts, eating the right stuff, and maintaining the right routine. As of now I weight 169 and when I started I weighed......... 165. My ultimate goal is to be able to get to 180, lean, and tone by august 1st of 2014. I'm keeping my intake at least to 2600 Kcals a day and my diet is focused on chicken, steak, lean pork, eggs, veggies, brown rice, fruit, greek yogurt, soy burgers, trail mix to fill calories, and I drink nothing but a gallon of water and a quart of milk a day.
As for my routine I do a slightly modified version of SS based on what i've been told by people on forums after giving my spill. [Everything is 3x10] Monday-Bench(145), press(80), and barbell pullover(65) Wenesday- Squat(165), deadlift(125), Upright rowing(75) Friday- BentOver rowing(85), Dips(to exhaustion), pullups (exhaustion) I do at least 30 minutes of p90x yoga every day and do p90x ab ripper x on my off days. (I stopped running miles every day to focus more on bulking for now)
If anyone can give me any tips, points out my misguided faults, or anything, I'd very much appreciate it! I really want to overcome this wall I've hit! :)

Hi /fitness! I've been lurking this subreddit for quite some time and I am hopeful that you guys can provide some advice and how I should progress in my fitness routine.
I am a 20 year old male who is 5'7.5'' tall and I currently weigh 135.6lbs.
About 4 and a half months ago, in December, I decided that I was fed up with being overweight (169lbs with quite a bit of it being fat) for most of my life and decided that, after going on and off exercise for the past few years, to actually firmly commit myself to become fitter (and subsequently, looking better). I started the Insanity program while reducing my caloric intake on the side. I am now on the very last day of completing my 2nd round of Insanity and I've lost nearly 35lbs. A few months ago in November, I felt that I would never be able to fit into size 30 shorts or start to see an outline of my abs. Back then, I looked forward to the day where I could finally be completely comfortable in my own body. I am very pleased, happy, and sincerely proud of myself for accomplishing this transformation.
I feel that, in terms of pure weight, that I am at the ideal amount I'd like to be at. I would like to stay at 135lbs. The thing is, there is still a nontrivial amount of fat on me (on my lower stomach, on my butt, on my pecs, I still have a bit of "love handles", etc) that I would like to lose and, of course, I would like to get a bit more stronger and muscular. So, what I want to do now is to lose body fat while gaining only muscle mass. Now this is where I get a tad bit confused. I don't know what's the difference between "muscle mass" and "lean muscle mass" that people keep talking about. I thought that all muscle mass are technically the same. Does the difference lay in that perhaps "lean muscle mass" has come to mean that you don't gain extraneous fat weight while you're putting on muscle weight?
Further, I've heard mixed opinions on the idea of burning fat and gaining muscle. I've had some websites give me the impression that accomplishing both at the same time would be immensely difficult. The /Fitness FAQ, however, says that burning fat while building muscle mass is a perfectly reasonable goal. Can someone clear this up for me?
Since I'm not entirely focused on (purely) losing weight anymore, I am wondering how many kcalories should I be eating? During the last few weeks or so of my current regimen, I've been eating around 1200-1400 kcalories a day. I've looked up BMR formulas, and it is said that this updated one derived by Mifflin et. al. is more accurate than the Harris-Benedict equation. Plugging in my stats (61.5kg10+6.25171.45cm-5*20+5), I have found that my BMR is around 1591kcal per day. From what I understand, this number doesn't take into account the level of activity that I undergo. So should I eat around this number to lose fat and gain muscle? Further, based on information that I've gathered, I am also under the impression that to optimally promote muscle growth and fat loss, that my diet should have around 0.68 to 1 gram of protein per lb of lean body mass (to calculate lean body mass, does one simply subtract the weight of fat, based on body fat percentage, away from the overall body weight?)? Is that a correct conclusion? The range is kind of big, it'd be fantastic if someone could narrow this down for me so that I can accomplish my goals. Any other advice on how/what (and how much) I should eat would be fantastic. I am also looking for other ways to incorporate more protein, fiber, and vegetables into my diet, so if anyone can offer little hacks and tips, it would be much appreciated as well :]
And lastly I think that I will move on to doing starting strength, specifically the practical programming version for beginners. I plan to do this at my apartment community's gym on Tu/Th/Sat and on Mon/Wed/Fri do some form of cardio workout. The plan is to do either swimming at the natatorium on my school campus or, if I am prohibitedly busy/lazy, to do an Insanity cardio workout (probably the Max Cardio Conditioning one) at home.
What is /Fitness's professional opinion on this? Will engaging in starting strength 3 times a week, paired with cardio on the off days, combined with some kind of diet centered on protein (although I'm still unclear on the diet) help me accomplish my goals of lowering my body fat percentage while helping me gain muscle mass and keeping my weight relatively constant around 135lbs? I think if I had to put an image to what I'd like my body to be, I'd like to eventually attain a swimmers body, like that of Michael Phelps or, possibly more appropriately, (because I myself am asian) his asian equivalent Kosuke Kitajima, heh :D
EDIT: TL;DR I am a 20 year old male who is 5'7.5'' tall and has reached his goal weight of 135lbs. I want to stay at this weight while losing body fat and gaining lean muscle. Is a fitness plan of doing Starting Strength 3 times a week combined with cardio 3 times a week (swimming or Insanity cardio) while eating around 1590kcal help me reach my goals? Am I eating too little, too much? Should I have cardio? Thanks, Fitness!