Anonymous quotes about relationships

Confidence: The Key to Success

2010.03.30 03:20 timidgirl Confidence: The Key to Success

There's no excuse for the dismissal of accessibility. Everybody deserves access to common resources, not just those that are convenient. --- Confidence: The Key to Success
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2011.06.30 18:40 jaxdesign Plumbing help offered here, please post pictures.

A place for plumbing advice and help. Do not advertise or try to compare pricing.
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2020.05.18 14:12 Frreky allaboutrelationships

A place just for everything about relationships. Share your favourite relationship quotes, memes, your relationship related problems and also give advice if you have any. You need to get into a relationship? You could try your luck here too.
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2024.05.15 17:29 Specialist_Dog6708 AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend over a naked photo I found on his phone?

My boyfriend (27 M) and I (26 F) have been dating for 2.5 years. I misplaced my phone a couple days ago and he let me borrow his work phone in case of emergency. He texted me on his work phone from his personal phone, so I opened the message and saw a text from 1.5 years ago that he had sent himself of another woman naked. I also found the photo saved in his hidden album on the work phone. I asked him who it was and he said it was his friend's ex girlfriend. He told me that he was out drinking with his friends and one of them pulled the photo up. He asked his friend to send the photo to him, and the next morning he sent it to his work phone to hide it from me. He says that he had seen the girl's "thirst traps" on instagram and that it felt cool to see what was underneath her clothes. He says that he didn't realize how disrespectful and upsetting it would be for me and that he only looked at the photo a couple of times and then forgot about it. He said he originally kept it in case he was ever having a "big boob craving" but never jerked off to it because it felt disrespectful. I asked him why he couldn't just look up big boob porn if he was having that "craving" and he said it feels more disrespectful to watch porn than to look at a picture of a girl you know and that "it's just different when you know the person." He has always shouted his loyalty for me from the rooftops and this does seem like a one-off situation, but it bothers me that the photo was still on his phone after a year and a half. He swears that he forgot it was there and hasn't looked at it in a year.
I told the girl in the photo about the situation and she is disgusted by her ex, but confirmed that she barely knows my boyfriend and did not send the photo to him.
Side note: We have had big trust issues in the past with him gambling huge amounts of money and lying about it, but he joined gamblers anonymous 6 months ago and has seemed to be making a lot of positive changes since then. Other than the gambling and lying and this new information, he is the perfect person for me. He is kind and thoughtful and we have a lot of fun together and fit perfectly into each other's lives. He loves me very much, but has no sense of priorities, discipline, or consequences.
AITAH if I end our relationship over this?
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2024.05.15 17:17 AstroNoVa888 M18 [M4f] just ready for love again #online

It’s been a while since my last relationship and I’m ready to search again, I’m looking for someone between 18-21. A big need for me relationship-wise is honesty, loyalty and respect and patience those are big green flag to me personally.
I’m heavily attracted to intelligence it isn’t a need but I’m also attracted to many other things like being calm,understanding,being trusting and hella more tbh.
I love to call/ft whichever is more comfortable So distance isn’t a problem
For hobbies I enjoy listening to different genres of music, reading, watching horror or romance series or movies and I usually get interested in my partner’s interests too.
Also I’m hella deep into love. That influences my future goals for a relationship and some general life goals I have
This chat gpt quote I was sent basically sums up my Ideals somewhat but still some of that isn’t needed:
Your ideal partner is someone who possesses intelligence and a thirst for knowledge, particularly historical intelligence, which you find incredibly attractive. They may not need to be the smartest person in the room, but their intellectual curiosity and capacity to engage in meaningful conversations about history and other topics resonate deeply with you.
In terms of personality, you appreciate someone who is reserved yet also values independence. You admire individuals who can depend on you and confide in you, but at the same time, you respect their need for personal space and autonomy. A partner who strikes a balance between being emotionally connected and maintaining individuality is highly appealing to you.
Your ideal partner values health and fitness to some extent, demonstrating a commitment to self-care and well-being. While you have a preference for individuals who maintain a healthy lifestyle, you are also understanding and accepting of different body types, as long as your partner prioritizes their health and takes care of themselves.
Culturally, you are intrigued by someone from a different background who can speak another language fluently or nearly fluently. This trait adds a layer of richness to your relationship, fostering opportunities for cultural exchange and mutual understanding. You appreciate diversity and embrace the unique perspectives and traditions that come with it.
Emotionally, you are drawn to individuals who demonstrate emotional intelligence and self-control. You value loyalty, trustworthiness, and effective communication in a relationship, considering them to be fundamental traits for building a strong and enduring connection.
Your ideal partner shares some of your interests and values, but also brings their own unique perspectives and experiences to the relationship. They are intellectually stimulating, adventurous, and open-minded, willing to explore new experiences and embrace life's opportunities alongside you.
In summary, your ideal partner is someone who is intelligent, independent, culturally diverse, emotionally intelligent, and shares your values of loyalty, trustworthiness, and effective communication. They are a companion who not only complements your personality but also enriches your life through their unique qualities and experiences.
So if you’re still interested after all that It’ll be nice to see your dm, N if not ,then have a nice day
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2024.05.15 17:10 Chen_Geller Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth

Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth
I still sit sometimes and chuckle, thinking "When Ralph Bakshi started animating The Lord of the Rings in 1976, did he know what he was going to unleash on the world?" There was also the Rankin/Bass TV special, being developed concurrently, but its the Bakshi film that, in 1979, Peter Jackson saw, and this young Photoengraver would later direct six (!) live-action Tolkien films and, between himself and co-producer Philippa Boyens, are hard to work producing three more such films. Other adaptations since - namely, The Rings of Power (especially Season One) but also games from The Shadow of Mordor to Return to Moria - have at the very least taken cues from Jackson's films. All because a Kiwi photoengraver saw a cartoon....
But the relationship between these properties is not so clear-cut as it may seem. I ednumbered the similarities and dissimilarities between Jacksons' films and The Rings of Power elsewhere. Now I want to delve deeper into the similarities and dissimilarities between Jackson and previous adaptations of Tolkien.

The Rankin/Bass TV Specials

Side-by-side video comparisons between Jackson's films and the two Rankin/Bass TV Specials do not reveal any similarities that don't come from the fact that they're adapting the same books. This is an important point: Jackson is NOT trying to make some post-modern "collage" Hollywood film. He's only tipping his hat to those adaptations of Tolkien that he had seen growing up and that influenced him personally.1
Due to copyright, the Rankin/Bass specials probably didn't air in New Zealand at all, and although it seems Jackson got a hold of the Rankin/Bass The Hobbit before embarking on The Lord of the Rings, he had not seen their Return of the King, certainly before 1999, and neither he nor his close collaborators have made comments about either of the two Specials. By contrast, the (American!) showrunners of The Rings of Power had referenced the Rankin/Bass Specials, and seemingly tipped their hat to it in a set design for season two.2

The Ralph Bakshi film

As I said, Jackson went to see the Bakshi film. He had enjoyed some of Bakshi's previous film, including the Tolkien-esque Wizards, released the previous year, and went to see his latest. At the time he hadn't read the books, making Bakshi's film his first exposure to Tolkien, but he does admit he "heard the name" of the book beforehand. His biography suggests he saw it in late 1978, when it first premiered, but surely it would have arrived at New Zealand in early 1979.3
The connection between the two films had been played up, unsurprisingly, by Ralph Bakshi himself. A leonine, grandiose man, Bakshi is anything but a reliable narrator. His own suggestion that he hadn't actually seen the films - only trailers, he claims - sounds believable enough and certainy understandable.4 But, then, if he didn't watch them, it makes his critique of them as deriviative of his films all the more dubious, even without actually looking at the specifics of what he said:
Look at his Lothlorien. Look at my backgrounds of Lothlorien. Take a look! He had much more to see than I did, and if you don't think he lifted it over and over again, you're wrong. I mean, how did he design a knife in Lord of the Rings? How did he design a sword? How did he design the dwarf with his axe? How did he design the fur around him? Why did Peter Jackson put fur around the dwarf? Because I put fur around the dwarf! Why would the dwarf have fur naturally? You see, I could give you a billion little things. I wish I had a movie to look at.5
These are truly some confused claims, for the most part. The most credible part here is the Hobbits hiding under the branch from the Ringwraiths, a shot composition later to also be replicated in season one of the Rings of Power, and which we'll get to later.
Another claim of Bakshi's that cannot be dismissed out of hand is that, however big or small a debt Jackson owes to his film, he said that Jackson didn't publically acknowledge the influence and felt that it was only appropriate to have welcomed him to visit the set or something: by comparison, Jackson invited Rick Baker, who played King Kong in the 1978 version, to cameo in his King Kong.6
Jackson actually did mention the Bakshi filming in passing in the making-ofs. Then again, he entirely fails to mention the radio serial, either. Ultimately, Jackson possibly in cahoots with New Line Cinema, must have felt it unwise to point to a previous adaptation that had only achieved mixed success, at the outset of his own enterprise. He did talk more about the Bakshi film, and more fondly, in the director's commentary to The Fellowship of the Ring and in a couple of later interviews, which are significant gestures, but he clearly wasn't going to trumpet the influence Bakshi's film had on him off of every rooftop.7
In his 2006 biography, Jackson actually briefly reviews the Bakshi film:
I liked the early part – it had some quaint sequences in Hobbiton, a creepy encounter with the Black Rider on the road, and a few quite good battle scenes – but then, about half way through, the storytelling became very disjointed and disorientating and I really didn’t understand what was going on. However, what it did do was to make me want to read the book – if only to find out what happened!8
This is a complementary but admittedly mixed review, and Jackson had made similar comments since, calling it "brave and ambitious" but consistently decrying the hokum of the film's second half.9 Now, it is true that artists can be influenced by a work of art in spite of themselves, but lets see if we can try and quantify the influence.
From the outset, in the audio commentary, Jackson remarks that "our film stylistically is very different and the design is different," which is apposite: Bakshi swore a debt to Howard Pyle, which certainly leaves its mark of the gorgeous natural bakcdrops, but a source closer at hand (especially considering his follow-up fantasy film, Fire and Ice) is the most popular fantasy illustrator of his day, Frank Frazetta: Bakshi's Witch King is practically ripped from Frazetta's famous "Dark Rider" illustration.10
Jackson's approach, however, was steeped in a kind of romantic realism that by and large eschewed the heightened work of Frazetta, opening a yawning stylistic gulf between his film and Bakshi's on a general level. Bakshi's Hobbit-holes have overhanging roofs that give the impression of fairies living under mushrooms (which they in fact had in his previous film, Wizards) and the interiors of Bag End are earthen, more of a rabbit-hole than Jackson's English countryside villa. There are some similarities, like the Hobbits having similarly-clipped pants, but its hard to say costume designer Ngilla Dickson had Bakshi in mind for that look.
There's the basic structure of the narrative: both films leave some of the same plot beats out - Tom Bombadil, most notably - both intercut the Frodo and Aragorn storylines throughout (as per the appendices rather than the body of the text), and both open with a prologue. However, many of these are common-sense approaches that, if one were to put 100 screenwriters in a room, a good 90 of which would choose to pursue: in fact, Sir John Boorman's earlier Lord of the Rings script had likewise intercut the stories and redacted many of the same episodes as both Bakshi and Jackson, and similar approaches were taken in the 1958 Morton Zimmerman treatment. Certainly, in the case of the choice to pursue a prologue, a precedent closer at hand exists in the form in the 1981 radio serial, a point made all the stronger by the fact that when Jackson first concieved of and sketched the prologue, he hadn't seen Bakshi's film in 20 years.11
Bakshi did claim that New Line were screening his film repeatedly, but author Ian Nathan says that was never the case. Miramax did screen the film for Jackson in 1997, after he'd written the treatment. Jackson's treatment included Glorfindel and Erkenbrand, who in subsequent drafts are replaced by Arwen (Legolas in Bakshi's film) and Eomer, but still I find that it falls more into the realm of common-sense screenwriting decisions than anything that could be tied to Bakshi in a clear way, especially the latter which happens at the end of Bakshi film, a part of the film Jackson admits to have found incoherent.12
Rather, the place to look for similarities between the two projects is in the opening leg of The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson actually, in the director's commentary, points out the shot of Odo Proudfoot calling "Proudfeet!" as a deliberate homage to Bakshi's shot, "which I thought was great." He doesn't acknowledge a couple - only a couple - of other shots that are quite similar: one is the evocative shot of the Ring tumbling over the rocks in Gollum's cave just before Bilbo finds it. Another still is an entire sequence of shots which misdirect us into thinking the Ringwraiths killed the Hobbits in their beds. Both are a little TOO similar to be waved away as coincidental.13
The Ringwraith shot is a more special case: It was nominally based off of a John Howe illustration, ostensibly of the Bakshi scene. But Jackson - who's quoted review of the Bakshi film mentions this scene - could hardly not notice the similarity to the Bakshi scene, especially since the scene doesn't at all play like this in the novel. What's more, the scene was first storyboared only shortly after Jackson say Bakshi's film for the second time, and shot not too long after that being that it was the first scene filmed. So its only fair to cite Bakshi as an influence on that shot.14
https://preview.redd.it/9mbqqm4zul0d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a45cdd06543d70200e3eacf150f14d03d222203b
There are other bits and pieces: did Jackson have Bakshi in mind when he added a scene of Saruman rallying up the Uruk-hai before the siege of Helm's Deep? Its hard to say. An even more elusive case is made by Bakshi: "I'm glad Peter Jackson had a movie to look at—I never did. And certainly there's a lot to learn from watching any movie, both its mistakes and when it works." In other words, Bakshi here suggests his film influenced Jackson in terms of what NOT to do. To his credit, Jackson does remember that the design process for Treebeard was in part motivated by trying to divorce him from the Bakshi version, which both him and Dame Fran Walsh remember as being "like a walking carrot." But when we start getting into that level, it all becomes very tenuous. There were a lot of things about the fantasy genre in general - Conan the Barbarian and Willow are oft-cited by Jackson - that he tried to avoid.15
Ultimately, I have to judge that the similarities between the two versions amount to a handful of rather insignificant beats, all in the first hour of Fellowship of the Ring. To hyperbolically play up the similarities between the two projects is to give in to Bakshi's hyperbolic rhetoric.

Tolkien illustrations

Jackson's first and, at the time, only copy of The Lord of the Rings was a tie-in to the Bakshi film. This would mean he hadn't gotten into the world of Tolkien illustrations until developing his own films, when he suggests he went on a detail-exhaustive search for Tolkien art. He had seen Tolkien's own illustrations, but decided that they're "not very helpful in terms of the lighting and the mood."16
The most acclaimed illustrators of the previous era of Tolkien were Pauline Bayens (whose Minas Tirith is reproduced in the Rankin/Bass Return of the King) and the Brothers Hildebrandt, whose bestial Balrog presents a precursor both to Bakshi's but also to the Minotaur-like Balrog of John Howe.17
Howe was one of a trifecta of Tolkien illustrators, along with Ted Nasmith and Alan Lee, to enjoy great vogue at the time when Jackson was developing his films. Of the three, Lee is often deemed the most celebrated and certainly made the biggest impact on Jackson, whose next copy of the book was to be an Alan Lee illustrated edition. But he also noticed Howe through is work on Tolkien calendars, and later also purchased some originals of Ted Nasmith. All three were approached to participate in concept design for the films, although Nasmith sadly had to decline.18
In many places, Jackson precisely copied designs of Lee's and Howe's existing paintings, and in some places carbon copied their lighting and composition for shots, as well as grading the films (before the advent of the latest remaster) somewhat along the lines established in their paintings. But the majority of Lee and Howe's work for Jackson was in producing NEW concept art to his specifications, and so its wrong to look at Jackson's films as being a part of the Lee-Howe ouevure, as such.

The 1981 Radio Serial

A less touted influence on Jackson's film is the superlative 1981 BBC radio serial. Where Jackson hadn't reread the book nor revisited Bakshi's film between 1979 and 1997, he had spent much of the that time listening on-and-off to a tape of the radio serial, usually while working in his garage on special effects.19
The most obvious similarity is the casting of Sir Ian Holm, who had voiced Frodo in the radio serial, as Bilbo. Holm was apparently at the top of Jackson's casting wishlist, partially for this reason. A particularly striking moment occurs when Holm's Frodo quotes Bilbo's "Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door: you step on to the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to", a line again given to Holm - now as Bilbo - in voiceover at the same spot in Jackson's film.20
Again, many of the similar structural choices here are similar to Jackson, adding a prologue, contracting the early stages of Frodo's quest and intercutting the Aragorn and Frodo's stories throughout. Brian Sibley admits to have modelled his prologue on Bakshi's own, but Jackson is unlikely to have known it at the time, and when we start thinking in terms of second-hand influences we're again into very tenuous territory. Otherwise, the influence doesn't seem all too great, although Sibley remembers that Walsh, perhaps half-jokingly, told him "we stole your ending" in the way that they did the Grey Havens and then a quick segue to Sam's return home, basically along the lines of the book.21
A young, and already Tolkien-devotee, Sir Ian Holm recording Bilbo
Sibley had recruited his cast from the BBC's company of actors, which is also the troupe Bakshi turned to, meaning that Sibley ended-up with Bakshi's Boromir (Michael Graham Cox) and, notably, his Gollum (Peter Woodthorpe). In spite of Woodthorpe's evocative performance of Gollum's voice in both the Bakshi and Sibley versions, its influence on Andrew Serkis' performance of Gollum is nonexistent, as Serkis had developed the voice before having heard Woodthorpe rendition, having only read The Hobbit prior to being cast.22

Other fantasy films

Jackson had seen pretty much all the fantasy films of the 1980s, and while they were important in terms of establishing the genre, they hadn't left much of an impression on Jackson. The most succesful - George Lucas' Star Wars - was more space-fantasy, undoubtedly impressed Jackson but didn't much influence his films: to this day, he professes to not be a huge Star Wars fan, in spite of the amiacable manner he and Lucas took with each other in later years, and admits that he sees the influence of Lucas more "in what he did for the industry, not in terms of the actual films that he made."23
The first major high-fantasy film, Sir John Boorman's Excalibur, was a little closer to Jackson's heart, but isn't much of an influence on his films either. Its true that Jackson's films feature a lot of plate armour, but that's indebted primarily to John Howe's abiding love of late Medieval armour, and at any rate is quite different to the Enlightement-era suits of armour one finds in Boorman's film. Willow, produced by George Lucas, was a big shot to the arm of New Zealand's fledgling film industry, and like Star Wars is much indebted to The Hobbit, but left a bad impression on Jackson.24
The Clockmaker's Cottage in Sir Ridley Scott's Legend
Two exceptions are to be cited; Ray Harryhousen's stop-motion fantasy films from the 1950s were huge favourites of Jackson's, although their more Graeco-Roman subject matters were a genre apart from Jackson's films. He is also a big fan of Sir Ridley Scott, and while he joins the consensus of deriding William Hjortsberg notorious screenplay, had taken some cues from his Legend (1986): there's something of the Clockmaker's cottage in Rhosgobel, and Jackson referenced some of the features of Tim Curry's devilish "Lord of Darkness" for the Wargs sinewy faces.25

Other films

Jackson took influence from paintings of old battles and landscapes, but surely his biggest influences are other films: Zulu and Saving Private Ryan had been referenced for Helm's Deep, and there's a touch of Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line, which Jackson had watched before principal photography, to the atmospheric shots that close the Fellowship prologue. Jackson admitted to rewatching mostly Scorsese films while shooting, and certainly the energy of his moving cameras find a closer kin in Scorsese's films than in anyone else's. There's something of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia to Jackson's intention to make living, breathing people out of his fantasy characters.26
Surely the inspiration for the shot of Aragorn arriving at Helm's Deep
But there's one film that looms largest in Jackson's films, overshadowing any influence we're looked at so far: Mel Gibson's latest spectacular, Braveheart. Along with other films of this kind like Dances with Wolves and Rob Roy (Gladiator came too late to much influence Jackson's films) it is of crucial importance to the overall cinematic style of Jackson's films, having come out just as Jackson first started thinking of making an original fantasy film, and winning the academy award for Best Picture before any sustained work was done to develop The Lord of the Rings.27

Footnotes

  1. Matt Skuta, "The Hobbit Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('77) & Peter Jackson ('12-'14)" and "Return of the King Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('80) & Peter Jackson ('03)," YouTube, 15 February 2018.
  2. The Rankin/Bass Specials were only made exploiting a loophole in the publication of Tolkien's books that temporarily made them public domain States-side, but meant that their airing was limited to the US, and subsequent a legal agreement with the Tolkien Estate, Canada. Jackson says he hadn't seen their Return of the King in an interview from late 1998. Eric Vespe, “ 20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2 Ain’t It Cool News,” , 30 December 1998.
  3. Brian Sibley, Peter Jackson: A Filmmaker's Journey (London: Harper Collins, 2006), pp. 107-111.
  4. Kyle, ""Legends of Film: Ralph Bakshi," Nashville Public Library, 29 April 2013.
  5. Emru Townsend, "INTERVIEW: Ralph Bakshi", Frames Per Second, 2 July 2004.
  6. Ken P., "Interview with Ralph Bakshi," IGN, May 25, 2004. Broadway, Clifford Q., "The Bakshi Interview: Uncloaking a Legacy". The One Ring, 20 April 2015.
  7. Anonymous, "From Book to Script," and Peter Jackson et al, "Director's Commentary," both in Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (New Line: 2002). Also Anonymous, "Peter Jackson interview". Explorations (Barnes & Noble, November 2001). Peter Jackson interview at the Egyptian Theater, 6 February 2004.
  8. Sibley, pp. 109 ff.
  9. Director's Commentary.
  10. Ned Raggett, "The Trouble With Ralph Bakshi’s The Lord Of The Rings & Other Tolkien Misadventures", The Quietus, 19 November 2018
  11. Ian Nathan, Everything You Can Imagine: Peter Jackson and the Making of Middle-earth (London: HarperCollins, 2017), p. 138.
  12. Peter Jackson et al, The Lord of the Rings, quoted in Sibley, pp. 109, 704, 751.
  13. Director's Commentary.
  14. Celedor, "10 Things You Know About The LOTR Movies (That Aren’t True)," TheOneRing, 11 June 2013.
  15. "Interview with Ralph Bakshi."
  16. Sibley, p. 738-744. Exeter College, Oxford, "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation: Exeter College Oxford Eighth Century Lecture Series", YouTube, 30 July 2015.
  17. Howe admits to the influence of the Hildebrandts, and in turn his own bestial Balrog would influence those of Alan Lee and Ted Nasmith. This would be popularised by Jackson, and finally emulated by Rings of Power. John Howe, "First Thing's First," John-Howe, 6 January 2012.
  18. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation", Sibley, 738-744. The One Ring, "Peter Jackson MISSED OUT! Talking Tolkien with Renowned Artist Ted Nasmith," YouTube, 11 July 2023.
  19. Nathan, p. 123, NB 1008.
  20. Nathan, p. 258.
  21. Nerd of the Rings, "Brian Sibley, writer, BBC's The Lord of the Rings (1981) - Interview," YouTube, 20 April 2021.
  22. Nathan, pp. 621 ff
  23. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation"
  24. “20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2"
  25. Ibid.
  26. Nathan, pp. 158, 393, 645.
  27. u/Chen_Geller, "How Masterpieces beget Masterpieces: Braveheart and The Lord of the Rings," Reddit, 23 June 2021.

Conclusions

Any notion that Jackson's films are derivative of previous Tolkien adaptations - namely, Bakshi's - are very much hyperbolic, and stem more from adopting an inflated rhetoric taken by the likes of Bakshi. As an adaptation, Jackson's works are based soley on Tolkien's books, and merely tip their hat occasionally to previous adaptations - and not all previous adaptations, either. Cinematically, they draw rather from other sources: less from other adaptations of Tolkien or other fantasy film (Tolkien-esque or not) and more from historical epics, both from the 1960s but also and especially from the time in which Jackson first started developing his films.
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2024.05.15 17:05 jaydalogar Got in touch with my first gf, this is how it went. What should I do? 32M 31F

Long story so please bear with me.
I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for and she asked who ive gone with and how long im on holiday for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
Towards the end of the conversation she said 'well i hope you have a lovely time 😊' and i replied with thank you and asked her when she was on holiday here, she replied saying that she went last November and the year before so then i replied saying 'oh nice, its good to go often. Need to make it a yearly thing' She ended the conversation 8 nights ago by liking that last message i sent, I don't know if she plans to message me again, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around in a few days bear in mind she deleted me 2 weeks ago and we havent spoken in 8 days. Should I give her some space for a few days then add her back and remove her ex? Detailed answer
submitted by jaydalogar to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:57 KingnBanter [Thank you] Another act that we are doing together. Enjoy!

Good Morning Everyone, Evening to some, afternoon to most.
We got home to lots of letters and my fiancee loved them all, and she's sitting next to me while we take the time to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to bring joy here in TN.
Thank you u/onebadjoke The Edible favours is a great idea, I'm going with twix, she's going with Riesen and for the both of us, Swedish Fish, gotten love hand fishing in a bag over waiting by the pond.
Thank you u/jemst0ne Amanda absolutely loves the post card, she's drawn to it immediately, and your card prompted a story. So, fun fact both of us proposed to each other to let each other know we were ready to be serious and jump into husband and wife roles, well the night that Amanda decided she wanted to make her jump, she received a fortunate cookie following a really nice meal at the casino, and the fortunate cookie said "Don't panic," lol, and nobody but her knew that that was. Second fun fact, mine that night said something about, "Don't miss the opportunity of the day, tomorrow it will be lost."
Thank you u/snerdboff We will definitely take funny pictures and thank you for the marriage licenses multiple copies, either of us thought of that, that's a great idea. Love that you had the largest card/envelope package. Love the sticker of the house as the envelope closer.
Thank you u/danigeek That's a great idea about the consignment store for the dresses. So far she has gone with her mom and sister to look at dresses. So far our idea for the colors of our wedding will be purple, blue, and silver. We have yet to try any cakes for the wedding, but my favorite is polish honey cake and her favorite is black forest (which no bakery seems to make anymore). Daisies are Amanda's favorite flower. Great card. Thank you.
Thank you, u/littlemermaidxx Thank you for the Love post card, it's nice, Amanda loves it, will take a pin to the love corner that we've got going. Thank you for the Congrats!
Thank you u/blacksmithequivalent You sent two cards :). Thank you so much. San Diego is such a beautiful area. We love that there is rarely a day below 60 degrees. The ring card is so pretty. Since she calls me her galaxy, I decided that blue sandstone would be a great pick for both her engagement and wedding ring. The actual stone looks like stars in a dark night sky. We also appreciate you saying that as long as we are happy together, no other opinions matter. True relationships are based on trust, great communication, and respect.
Thank you u/ez330 Absolutely beautiful card with the hearts as leaves in the tree. Congrats on your upcoming 12 year anniversary with your husband. I am sorry that you had those stressors during your wedding day. At this point, I feel that my fiancee and I are the least worried about things right now. That may not be a good thing when the time gets closer haha. Either way, as long as we are together and nothing drastic happens it'll be a great day for us as well. I am also a project manager so nothing can be as bad as some of the violent days at work lol.
Thank you, u/uknighinthesky Love the card. We are both very thankful to have several family members that are doing so much research for us and planning parts of the wedding. I think one of our main concerns is getting some family members from out of town to the wedding. The comic snips were very funny and a great touch to the card.
Thank you, u/uaepeyc. I absolutely adore this card. My mom is huge into mermaids and when I showed her this card, she went cray cray. You gave great advice saying that family research is helpful, but that in the end it is our day. Through all the planning, I think that our day will be as amazing as our relationship. She says that our relationship will be made with great memories for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/ninajyang. The front of the card is so pretty. I wish you and your partner the best. We both have a similar budget in mind. We don't want to spend too much, but just enough to make things as memorable as possible. This will be both of our first and last marriages so we figure we would splurge just a little. Thank you for the cute stamps as well.
Thank you, u/mediocre_radish_7216 Thank you so much for the cute cared. I liked the skateboard with the word love on it. Since she has moved in, we have been enjoying every little moment together. Even domesticated, simple ones can be enjoyable together. As we are writing these, we are doing household chores. Last night we cooked dinner and had a glass of wine together. We both plan to flourish this relationship for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/notsomini. Not going into debt for a single day is a great piece of advice. Thank you. We have been looking at wedding venues and seeing which one is the most cost effective, but yet flexible. A few places that we have looked at have been so strict with what is allowed in and what is not. One place that we checked out, no outside food was permitted. This place that we plan to check out tomorrow is not strict as we can bring in whatever food and other accommodations we choose. Thank you so much for the awesome stickers too.
Thank you, u/inkyfingerspgs Thank you so much for the card. Amanda loved it as the purple that was on the card is one of our wedding colors. We plan to continue making good memories from the wedding day and 55 years into the future.
Thank you, u/daeneryswon. The card is adorable. We both love it. The quote, "to a love that grows more beautiful every year," should be a goal for all couples. We hope that on our wedding day there is not too many hiccups, but both of us are pretty easy going that we will just continue on. We plan to make each other happy for the next 55 years.
Thank you so much u/keqani. All of the details that you put into your card is appreciated. Amanda adored the snips of paper that you included with your card. She said that those will be amazing to write little love notes to me to leave in my truck for me to discover. We both concur with you that we need to be there for each other no matter what. Loyalty in a relationship is very important. So far we have had great communication. Before we moved in together, we talked multiple times a day for at least 20 minutes or longer. We also promised each other that if anything is bothering either of us that we should just talk it out rather than holding it in. Amanda says that for the next 55 years we will be together through all the ups and downs that life can bring.
submitted by KingnBanter to RandomActsofCards [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

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2024.05.15 16:32 shaneka69 Get A Tarot Reading Today! ALL READINGS SENT SAME DAY THEY ARE BOOKED

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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:27 Flashy-Feed77 Edge's booking in 2010-2011

Did anybody else feel like WWE's handling of Edge in 2010-2011 was just bizarre?
First Edge returned at the 2010 Royal Rumble after spending the second half of 2009 healing a torn Achilles tendon. Gets a huge reaction from the crowd and ultimately wins the match. From there, Edge is clearly being positioned as a face, a role he hasn't played in five years, and solidifies his turn by challenging ex partner Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania 26. I'm sorry, but this feud did NOT have enough of a build to warrant a Mania world title match. Jericho and Edge were only partners for like a week before Edge got injured. And then we get the 'Spear' chants. That was just cringe. But hey, I get it, this is prime PG Era WWE, so Babyface promos have to be dumbed down to age appropriate levels. Jericho wins the match at Mania, only to lose the title to Jack Swagger a few days later (shudders) and the Jericho-Edge feud continues on without the WHC (which really it never should have had in the first place). Edge wins the feud with a Steel Cage Match at Extreme Rules 2010.
Then things start getting bizarre for Edge. He gets traded to RAW in the 2010 and immediately turns heel again by costing Randy Orton a number 1 contenders match because...reasons? And the promo with Christian a few days later where he justifies the reason didn't get the desired crowd effect either. If you go back and watch Edge mocking the fans for the 'Spear' chants you'll probably hear crickets. Anyway, just like that, Edge is right back in familiar territory. The Orton feud didn't benefit him that much since Orton was so white hot at the time. Then Edge is thrust into the Nexus storyline (keep in mind, this is when the group still had potential). Finally in October, Edge gets traded back to Smackdown after throwing a hissy fit and destroying the Anonymous RAW GM laptop.
So now Edge is once again a face, which pretty much makes the last 4-5 months a complete waste of time. This time it's a more sustained face run, and Edge gets another WHC feud, this time against Kane. The Kane-Edge feud of 2010 gets a lot of slack and rightfully so - tbh these guys have just NEVER clicked together for me - and I think that it just goes to show how bad the PG Era writing was by this point. Their match at Survivor Series ends in a DQ, leading to a fatal fourway at TLC that includes Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio. Edge finally wins the his first World Title as a face, which seemed like their original plans for Edge in 2010. He then ends his feud with Kane with a Last Man Standing Match on Smackdown.
Next Edge moves into a feud with Dolph Ziggler, who is a rising star in WWE (yes, I know that aged poorly). By this point, WWE are beginning to elevate several new talent to make up for their top-tier stars that have either left (Batista), retired (HBK), or been reduced to part time status (HHH and Undertaker). Dolph also has an onscreen relationship with Vickie Guerrero, Edge's ex storyline wife, which is supposed to add a new layer to this storyline. But really, this storyline just felt like Edge feuding with Vickie, especially after Vickie became interim Smackdown GM. Edge retains against Dolph at the Royal Rumble, but gets stripped of the title a few weeks later after a mixed tag team match. Dolph gets awarded the belt the next week, only to lose it back to Edge the same night. Don't worry Dolph, it only gets worse from here.
Then we move onto Edge feuding with the 2011 Royal Rumble winner Alberto Del Rio. WWE banked hard on Del Rio in 2011, and the fact that he was getting a World Title match at his first WrestleMania proved it. This feud gives us an Edge and Christian reunion, which I'm sure us Attitude Era fans can appreciate. Edge beats Del Rio at WrestleMania in what would be his last WWE match for nine years. The fact that this match opened Mania 27 though just shows how far the WHC had fallen in value at this point.
Finally, we get the promo. Edge comes to the ring on RAW and says that his neck problems have finally gotten the better of him. It was an emotional moment, even for me as I'm a huge Edge fan. Edge surrenders the World Title and announces his retirement from wrestling (at least for now).
So that was Edge's final year as a full time WWE wrestler. It was...weird. Between the brand switches and various heel-face turns, there just wasn't much consistency with Edge. Maybe it was the loss of so much star power. Maybe WWE weren't completely sold on Edge as a face after so many years as WWE's biggest heel. Whatever the reason, something just felt off about Edge during this period.
I apologize for the long post, I just thought a full description would illustrate my point better.
Thoughts?
submitted by Flashy-Feed77 to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:24 Rafaelkruger The Secret Reasons You Procrastinate and How To Overcome Them

Hi! … I’m a MOD at Jung and I’ve been sharing my articles there for a few years now. I thought this sub could be a good fit for some of them. I read the rules and it seems to me that it’s ok for me to share, if it isn’t, I apologize in advance. Please let me know what I’d need to change.
The Secret Reasons You Procrastinate and How To Overcome Them
The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Lastly, here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist
submitted by Rafaelkruger to getdisciplined [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 16:11 Rafaelkruger Obliterate Procrastination - The Secret Reasons You Procrastinate and How To Overcome Them

The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist
submitted by Rafaelkruger to ShadowWork [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:48 Wonderful-Law9759 Am I being manipulated

I am incredibly unhappy in this relationship and feel trapped. I have noticed a pattern of manipulation, where she goes on anonymous chatting sites like Whisper and talks to other guys behind my back, despite my repeated requests for her to stop. When I confront her about it, she blames me for yelling at her and makes me feel like the bad guy. She then apologizes and cries, making me feel bad and causing me to forgive her.she does with everything I'm uncomfortable like constantly lying like over small things anytime I bring up my interests she just ignore me and expect me to only show interest in her hobbies or she gets mad. I feel trapped because I lack a job and a place to stay,and if I try to break up, she will constantly guilt trip me and talk about how much money she spent on.im so overwhelmed taking care of our son I feel like she barley gives him anykind of attention or take him out at all I'm dealing with all of this while trying to deal with my own mental health issues and i feel like if i leave ill be alone due to my fucked up teeth
submitted by Wonderful-Law9759 to Manipulation [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:39 xfallenangelx95 [28/F] Seeking emotional support and highly empathetic people.I would love to find someone who doesn't judge others or make fun of them.It's very Important to have someone to rely on :) I'm here for conversations with emotionally mature people who don't have friends and need someone to talk to 🍀🌸

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.

🤍
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂

🤍
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
🤍
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before

🤍
Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .

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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough

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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.

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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.

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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.

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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.

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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.

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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.

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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others

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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side

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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to friendship [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:32 shaneka69 Get A Tarot Reading Today! ALL READINGS SENT SAME DAY THEY ARE BOOKED

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2024.05.15 15:28 xfallenangelx95 [28/F] Seeking emotional support and highly empathetic people.I would love to find someone who doesn't judge others or make fun of them.It's very Important to have someone to rely on :) I'm here for conversations with emotionally mature people who don't have friends and need someone to talk to 🍀🌸

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.

🤍
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂

🤍
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
🤍
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before

🤍
Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .

🤍
I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough

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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.

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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.

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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.

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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.

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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.

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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.

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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others

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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side

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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to InternetFriends [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:08 WhatCanIMakeToday Operational Efficiency Shares: Rehypothecating 🐇🐇🐇🐇 And Breaking Free Of Chains [WalkThrough] (4/n)

Operational Efficiency Shares: Rehypothecating 🐇🐇🐇🐇 And Breaking Free Of Chains [WalkThrough] (4/n)
From the prior DD in this series [1], we know that ComputerShare can “give” the DTC registered DSPP shares to hold onto for operational efficiency which are then “given back” as shares beneficially owned “for the benefit of” (“FBO”) DSPP Plan Participants at ComputerShare, as illustrated in this diagram:
From The Prerequisite DD
It’s time to explore what “operational efficiency” benefits may be gained by DSPP shares going around this roundabout. At first glance, shares are basically just going in a big circle from DSPP Plan Participants with registered ownership DSPP shares at ComputerShare heading to the DTC, who hands shares to ComputerShare’s broker who maintains those shares for the benefit of ComputerShare who holds those shares for the benefit of Plan Participants. While I think it’s unlikely that shares just go around in a big fat circle for no reason, I do remember people getting onto flights to literally go nowhere a few years ago [CNN, NYT]; so maybe these operational efficiency shares simply miss hanging out at the DTC?
Let’s look more closely… While title is held by a registered DSPP Plan Participant, ComputerShare is giving the DTC possession [1] of registered DSPP shares to the DTC to hold for operational efficiency which then ultimately end back in the possession of ComputerShare’s broker (who isn’t lending out shares) for the benefit of ComputerShare for the benefit of Plan Participants. If we treat the DTC’s operations as a big black box, we see registered shares going into the DTC black box and beneficially owned shares coming out of the black box to ComputerShare for Plan Participants.
DTCC Black Box: Inputs vs Outputs
Investopedia says that shareholders have rights, with a list of 6 main rights including:
  1. Voting power on major issues.
  2. Ownership in a portion of the company.
  3. The right to transfer ownership.
  4. Entitlement to dividends.
  5. Opportunity to inspect corporate books and records.
  6. The right to sue for wrongful acts.
By contrast, beneficial owners only need to have or share 2 of those rights (bolded) according to the definition of beneficial owner in Rule 13d-3: the power to vote and the power to dispose of the security (e.g., sell).
§ 240.13d-3 Determination of beneficial owner.
(a) For the purposes of sections 13(d) and 13(g) of the Act a beneficial owner of a security includes any person who, directly or indirectly, through any contract, arrangement, understanding, relationship, or otherwise has or shares:
(1) Voting power which includes the power to vote, or to direct the voting of, such security; and/or,
(2) Investment power which includes the power to dispose, or to direct the disposition of, such security.
ComputerShare basically confirms this list (except for the right to sue as that’s probably not one their issuer customers would emphasize) and adds that beneficially held shares may be lent by brokers generally (but not by ComputerShare’s broker).
Registered Shareholder Rights vs Beneficial Owner Rights
Maybe you’ve had different experiences from me, but I’ve never known Wall St to deliver more than the bare minimum they’re contractually obligated to. Which means the DTC black box is very likely watering down shareholder rights from the 6 that go in down to the 2 which come out. (And yet, we’re supposed to believe that all shares are equal. 🙄)
Dividends (#4 on the list) [2] may be the clearest example of a watered down shareholder right. Registered shareholders have the right “to directly receive share dividends” [CS FAQ] which means if a company (e.g., GameStop or OverStock) issues a dividend, registered shareholders have the right to directly receive the dividend as issued. If the company issues a crypto dividend (as OverStock tried to do), registered shareholders have the right to directly receive the issued crypto dividend. Beneficial shareholders would get an issued dividend, if available, or a cash equivalent if not. Historically, stock and other dividends to beneficial shareholders could easily be delivered as a cash equivalent, a watered down form. Crypto dividends don’t scale well with shorts (both naked and legal via, for example, share lending and borrowing) because crypto tokens are unique which makes it abundantly clear why a crypto dividend was nixed for a heavily shorted idiosyncratic stock like GameStop; especially given GameStop’s particularly active shareholders.
Ownership (#2 on the list) may be the second clearest example of a watered down shareholder right as more security interests to shares exist in the DTC’s beneficial ownership system than there are shares; with the SEC saying beneficial shares get a pro rata interest in the securities of that issue held by DTC. [See End Game Part Deux: Problems at the DTCC plus The Bigger Picture, particularly the section “The Pie Is Shrinking: Get Out (And DRS) While You Can”]
Voting (#1 on the list) is also an example watered down shareholder right; this one having a long history on this sub with, for example, BroadRidge tossing 7B votes and bragging about it. (Beneficial owners only need to get shared voting rights per Rule 13d-3 above so those 7B “shared” votes just lost out to who they shared with.) Unlike other beneficially held shares, voting rights for DSPP shares are not watered down as ComputerShare sends registered holders their voting forms.

Operational Efficiency Shares, Whatcha Doing In There?

A big black box is a pretty good description of the DTC which does not want us to know the ins and outs of what’s going on. Black holes are a pretty good example of a big black box and, most importantly, we know a lot about black holes even though they can’t be directly observed. Just as we learned about black holes without direct observation, we can similarly learn a lot about the Operational Efficiency shares even though we can’t directly observe them in the DTC habitat.
Even though we can’t look inside the DTC’s big black box, it turns out we don’t really have to in order to identify some benefits from these operational efficiency shares taking their roundabout trip to nowhere.
Locates A few commenters have suggested that OE shares could be used for locates so I’ll address this first. Possible, yes. But I don’t view this as the most interesting use for OE shares. Brokers are supposed to “locate” securities available for borrowing before short selling. [Wikipedia)] Basically, before selling short a broker is supposed to find a source to borrow. The “locate” requirement does NOT require the security to be borrowed before short selling which can result in a legal naked short.
You may be wondering why I don’t view “locates” as particularly interesting for OE shares if short sellers need to locate shares to borrow before shorting. Well, market makers are also exempt from this requirement as long as they’re market making. 🙄 On top of the market maker exemption, remember House Of Cards? In House Of Cards 3 [SuperStonk], we learned about the now 🤦‍♂️ hilarious F**3 key **- yeah, the one on a keyboard. Brokers like Goldman found the locate requirement simply too much work so they would press the F3 key and their system would auto-approve the locate requirement based only on the number of shares available to borrow at the beginning of the day; regardless of whether those shares were still available to borrow or not.
House Of Cards 3
Meaning as long as there were some shares available to borrow at the beginning of the day for their share copying system, brokers could just smash the F3 key to make as many copies of shares as they need. Even if only 1 share was available to borrow at the beginning of the day, a broker could simply smash the F3 key 100 times to approve the locate requirement for 100 shares.
So while OE shares could be used for locates, they wouldn’t need many shares each day to make an unlimited number of copies - even just 1 is enough.
Lending shares on the other hand…
Rehypothecation Rehypothecation is the reuse of customer collateral for lending. Per a 2010 IMF Working Paper, The (sizable) Role of Rehypothecation in the Shadow Banking System,
Rehypothecation occurs when the collateral posted by a prime brokerage client (e.g., hedge fund) to its prime broker is used as collateral also by the prime broker for its own purposes.
This IMF paper defined a “churning factor” to measure how many times an asset may be reused; and then estimated a churning factor of 4 noting that it could be higher because international banks (e.g., HSBC and Nomura) were not sampled. This IMF paper found a single asset may be lent and borrowed 4 times, or more; an average which could be higher globally.
https://preview.redd.it/ymr3j03zri0d1.png?width=795&format=png&auto=webp&s=1555314cefd520658a4f78dc4745867063e3bf34
Churn Factor Could Be Higher Globally
How much higher? We may have seen a churn factor as high as 10 for a less idiosyncratic meme stock per my prior post, Estimating Excess GME Share Liquidity From Borrow Data & Churn Factor. Presumably, the idiosyncratic meme stock would have a higher churn factor (but not that important for this post).
More recently (2018), the Federal Reserve published this Fed Note on ​​The Ins and Outs of Collateral Re-use studying how often collateral is reused (i.e., rehypothecated) for Treasury & non-Treasury securities [3] with a beautiful figure illustrating how “for any given moment in time, one security can be attributed to multiple financial transactions” where a share could be posted multiple times through Security Financing Transactions (SFTs) and sold short. [4] Sounds familiar, right?
https://preview.redd.it/zsztmji4si0d1.png?width=1530&format=png&auto=webp&s=f222dfe50929f668af8f8f0b39514a7d862db9c9
Figure 6c of this Fed Note shows a Collateral Multiplier over time illustrating how “PDs [Primary Dealers] currently re-use about three times as many securities as they own for non-Treasury collateral and seven times as many securities as they own for U.S. Treasury securities”.
AKA \"Money Multiplier\"
The Fed Note describes their Collateral Multiplier as a “money multiplier” (Seriously, I couldn’t have made this up in a million years.),
In a sense, our Collateral Multiplier is akin to a "money multiplier," as it compares private liabilities created by a firm with the amount of specific assets held to create those liabilities. [​​The Ins and Outs of Collateral Re-use]
And, of course, the Collateral Multiplier aka “money multiplier” ratio goes up when there’s less collateral available and down when there’s more collateral available. (Can I get one of these multipliers?)
Intuitively, we expect the ratio to increase when collateral is scarce and to decrease when collateral is more abundant.
Which means Primary Dealers [Wikipedia has a list of familiar names including Deutsche Bank, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, Nomura, BofA, Citigroup, TD, UBS, and Wells Fargo; amongst others] can simply kick securities around a few extra times (e.g., with SFTs and short sells) to effectively multiply the amount of money and/or collateral they have any time they need it. (Within limits, I hope…)
Thus, rehypothecation is a very interesting use of Operational Efficiency shares from ComputerShare as various primary dealers can simply “multiply” the number of shares they have – a concept that we’re already quite familiar with. As rehypothecation, short sells, and securities financing transactions are all perfectly legal, rehypothecating more GameStop shares provided to the DTC via operational efficiency satisfies Ground Rule #2 [defined in (1/n) in this series],
  1. All parties involved are all generally attempting to operate within the bounds of the laws and regulations wherever possible. (I know we often scream “crime”, but why break a law when money can simply [re]write laws to make activities legal. Regulatory failure is the reason why something that should be criminal, isn’t. And regulatory failure happens when armies of lawyers are paid to create and exploit loopholes so that actions which should be criminal, are instead legal.)
We can update our conceptual model to include rehypothecation to more clearly illustrate how Operational Efficiency shares held in the DTC can be rehypothecated (e.g., with SFTs and short sells) until a watered down share is delivered to ComputerShare’s broker to hold FBO ComputerShare, who holds the watered down share FBO DSPP Plan Participants.
https://preview.redd.it/bt3gnx99si0d1.png?width=4764&format=png&auto=webp&s=7b0b72b935f740e8a3036f88e1a4e1dfb57dd46c
You might notice from this illustration that ComputerShare has been telling the truth satisfying Ground Rule #1 [defined in (1/n) in this series]. Neither ComputerShare’s nor their broker lend or need to lend shares. All the rehypothecation happens “upstream” amongst other DTCC and NSCC Participants until shares are finally delivered to ComputerShare’s broker at the end of the “Churn Chain”. ComputerShare has made no representations about what the DTC can or can not do with the shares in their possession. And, realistically, ComputerShare is in no position to make any representations about what happens within the DTCC system – ComputerShare is only responsible for themselves and, to some extent, their broker.
The Fed Note and IMF paper found assets may be churned and reused 3-4 times (overall market average) which means the end of the chain is typically around D3 or D4. (If my prior DD estimates are correct, there were signs a less idiosyncratic meme stock may be churned up to 10 times ending the chain at D10 which suggests a potentially longer chain for GME, the idiosyncratic meme stock.) If there is no collateral reuse for an asset, the chain would have zero length meaning Operational Efficiency shares go straight from the DTC directly to ComputerShare’s broker. (Programmers almost certainly understand zero length chains very well – go find one if you need an explanation.)
GameStop is idiosyncratic, thus atypical. Per the IMF paper, collateral reuse increases when collateral is scarce and decreases when collateral is abundant (quoted above). If we consider GameStop investors have been direct registering shares (i.e., DRS) and registering shares (e.g., DSPP) thereby removing title and/or possession of shares from the DTC/DTCC/Cede & Co, then GameStop share availability has been becoming more scarce and the “Churn Chain” for GME should be longer than average representing a higher collateral multiplier and churn value.
While we may not know the exact length of the Churn Chain for GameStop shares, we can pretty well surmise that it’s not a zero length Churn Chain where there is no collateral reuse based simply on scarcity. After all, a shortage of available shares is, by definition, required for any short squeeze (including MOASS). Requests by brokers to enable Share Lending [5] is another example indicator that GameStop shares are scarce.
In addition, according to Investopedia [6], “Banks, brokers, or other financial institutions may navigate a liquidity crunch and access capital by rehypothecating client funds” and we’ve seen indicators showing us banks are in deep trouble:
The downside to rehypothecation is the higher leverage increases risks of default and a single collapse can start a chain reaction knocking down others like dominos.
There are also leverage considerations that increase that risk of default. Overleveraged investments often face covenants; when specific conditions are met, trading accounts may receive a margin call or face debt default. As a row of dominos fall after a single collapse, a single margin call may cause other debts to fail their account maintenance requirements, setting off a chain reaction that places the institution at higher risk of overall default. [6]
This risk for rehypothecation sounds exactly like what the Options Clearing Corporation was complaining about to the SEC when the ​​OCC Proposed Reducing Margin Requirements To Prevent A Cascade of Clearing Member Failures [SuperStonk] early 2024. If the OCC can eliminate margin calls, then no dominos get knocked down. (Thankfully, apes have done a phenomenal job in convincing the SEC that this OCC proposal is a very bad idea. Support the SEC’s rejection of this as Simians Smash SEC Rule Proposal To Reduce Margin Requirements To Prevent A Cascade of Clearing Member Failures!)
Most importantly, it may be tough to regain possession of an asset when someone in the rehypothecation chain defaults. Remember from the prior DD the expression about possession: Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
Clients must be aware of rehypothecation as it is technically their own assets that have been pledged for someone else's debt. This creates complicated creditor issues where an investors shares may longer be in their possession due to their custodian's default. [6]
We know assets are rehypothecated 3-4 times on average, GameStop shares are scarce, banks are in trouble, stock loan volume is skyhigh, and the risks of rehypothecation are real. So it’s pretty clear that rehypothecation is happening generally with pretty darn good reason to expect GameStop’s Churn Chain is at least of non-zero length (i.e., GameStop stock is being rehypothecated).

Breaking The Chains

While some may like chains and being tied up, I’m not one of those apes. Especially as a Churn Chain waters down my shareholder rights and may make regaining possession of DSPP stock difficult in the event of a cascade of defaults, as warned by the OCC. (If you like chains, feel free to skip this section.)
As it turns out, we don’t need to know exactly how long the Churn Chain is for GameStop stock. Simply knowing a Churn Chain exists with non-zero length means there is a chain. Where there is a chain, it’s possible to break the chain. (Even if you don’t know how much health) your enemy has in a game, you still try to take your enemy out. Right?)
A churn chain that starts from ComputerShare holding DSPP shares in DTC for operational efficiency can easily be broken as “[a]n investor can, at any time, withdraw all or part of their shares in DSPP book-entry form and have them added to their DRS holding”. [ComputerShare] See also [7]. Quite possibly one of the easiest chains in the world to break as the Churn Chain is weak to DRS. Simply DRS the DSPP shares to take away the head of the chain and the rest of the chain falls apart. (And, DRS-ing "street name" shares cuts chains into pieces too!)
One side effect of breaking a Churn Chain is that all shares attributed to transactions in a broken chain (e.g., SFTs and short sells) need to be reallocated to other chains, effectively making other chains longer and increasing the risks from a default.
Analogy: Think of the shares as a deck of cards. If you deal 52 cards to 4 players (A, B, C and D), each player gets 13 cards. Each stack of 13 cards is basically a Churn Chain. But if you take out a stack by removing the bottom card from A and distribute the remaining 12 cards from A to B, C and D then B, C and D each now have 17 cards. If at any given time a card can cause a player to lose the game, it's better to have fewer cards than more. And, the players who get out early won't lose.
Any party in the Churn Chain who defaults will make it hard for the original owner to regain possession. Longer chains include more transactions and more parties so there’s more risk of default on longer chains than shorter chains. Thus we see another vicious cycle setup where incentives are aligned such that DSPP and beneficial shareholders may want to avoid the impending default and rehypothecation risk from their shares being held in DTC. In order to avoid the impending default and rehypothecation risks, shareholders are incentivized to Directly Register shares to ensure having both title and possession. (Shares held in “street name” have little or no protection from rehypothecation risk and simply registering shares in DSPP doesn’t guarantee possession [1].) As with the other vicious cycle, any remaining shareholders in DTC share a shrinking pie of diluted ownership so it is in their best interest to get out and DRS; thereby shrinking the diluted ownership pie even more which is more reason for remaining shareholders to get out. These vicious cycles will eventually leave few, if any, remaining shares at the DTC for beneficial shareholders. Nobody knows what will happen if this ♾️🏊 happens.

Footnotes

[1] If you haven’t already, please read the prerequisite DD in this WalkThrough Series to understand how ownership of property is separated into two concepts: title and possession. [See, e.g., StackExchange] Understanding the differences between title and possession are particularly important here where it’s worth being extra careful identifying how an entity is in control of an asset.
  1. DSPP is technically different from DRS [WalkThrough] (1/n)
  2. Definitely DIFFERENT "DRS Counts" [WalkThrough] (2/n)
[2] Dividends have been heavily discussed on SuperStonk with many DD posts, including for OverStock and the precedent OverStock set which would have allowed GameStop to issue their own crypto dividend, possibly as an NFT.
[3] Footnote 16 of the Fed Note itemizes various classes of non-Treasury collateral which includes equity which, per Investopedia, is a synonym for stocks.
[4] While short selling is pretty well known, Security Financing Transactions (SFTs) may be more obscure despite discussion of them in the past so here’s some historical SuperStonk links for you (where you may notice some well known OG DD apes):
[5] Simply search SuperStonk for share lending. Don’t make me Google That For You.
[6] https://www.investopedia.com/ REMOVE_FOR_AUTOMOD terms/r REMOVE_FOR_AUTOMOD /rehypothecation.asp
[7] Withdrawing whole DSPP shares into DRS seems to make a lot of sense as doing so guarantees possession. Selling fractionals, less so. If you intend to keep buying, I would think adding to the fractionals to later withdraw whole shares makes more sense. As for the concern about fractionals tainting the whole account, I’ll cover that in another post. For now, you do you.
submitted by WhatCanIMakeToday to Superstonk [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 15:01 ibid-11962 More Murtagh Questions [Post Murtagh Christopher Paolini Q&A Wrap Up #5]

As discussed in the first post, this is my ongoing compilation of the remaining questions Christopher has answered online between August 1st 2023 and April 30th 2024 which I've not already covered in other compilations.
As always, questions are sorted by topic, and each Q&A is annotated with a bracketed source number. Links to every source used and to the other parts of this compilation will be provided in a comment below.
The previous post focused on the essence of the Murtagh book and character. This installment will cover additional Murtagh-related questions, such as about specific elements of the writing process. The next post will cover the writing and publication of Eragon.

Further Details about Writing Murtagh

Creating the Maps
For Murtagh I did all the maps after writing the book, but that's because I already knew all the locations and was familiar with them from writing the series. So I didn't need to do the maps before writing the book. [12]
What is your system for drawing maps? I usually start by thinking of what I want a location to look like. And that has nothing to do with a map. That's usually just thinking about how it will serve the story. And then the map will be based off of that. The biggest decision is usually what the style of the map should be, whether I want to do like a top-down city map for a place, or if I want it to be a more of a realistic image. So more of, let's say, a landscape painting, one could say, or if I want to do something that's more allegorical and evocative or symbolic, which there's actually one of those in Murtagh that really isn't a map, but it's a symbolic map, let's put it that way. And all of that is governed by what is the effect I hope to achieve with the reader. Because if it doesn't achieve the effect I want, then what's the point of doing it. I do try to avoid maps where I have to draw every single building if it's a city map because that's just annoying. I'd rather draw mountains than cities. [12]
I love the sort of top-down look, which is why I drew the the original map for Eragon in this style. [12]
Maps are an awesome thing, and they add so much to a world. And that's why I love drawing them, and I love finding them in books I'm reading. And it's also why I make such an effort to draw and paint maps for my own books. [12]
Favorite Parts
What kind of scenes do you enjoy writing most? I really empathize with the characters, so I find it difficult to write scenes where they experience difficulties. I like to write scenes where people wonder about the world, or where the story reaches a climax. With Murtagh, for example, this is the confrontation at the end of the book. Or the fight with the big fish, Muckmaw. There are also quiet moments that I enjoy writing. Again in Murtagh, when Silna – the werecat child – kisses Murtagh's head, that was a very special moment. I like to write things that have meaning and that requires context, so you have to build up to moments that are meaningful, both for myself as a writer and for the reader. [23]
Do you have a favorite moment in the book between Thorn and Murtagh? I have a couple of them. There's a moment after the encounter with Muckmaw when they exchange true names that I quite liked. The end of the Gil'ead sequence. Thorn has an appearance at the end of that sequence, which was rather dramatic. And then right near the end of the book, Thorn gets a crowning moment of awesome, one might say, to use internet speak. But Thorn really, he comes through in a pinch, and I just loved writing that. [32]
What was your favorite scene or moment that you wrote for Murtagh? I'd say the last chapter, and I'm not gonna say why, but I think it's obvious. There's a scene with a creature named Muckmaw, which I quite enjoy. Not just the confrontation with Muckmaw, the aftermath in the water. I was reading Blood Meridian at the time, and I think that influenced my descriptions. And there is a point in the story where something is renamed. And that was a very meaningful scene for me. Also, there's a werecat in the book and I love werecats. They're so much fun to write. [34]
What is your favorite line you've written? The first line I wrote for Murtagh before I had anything really for the book, I thought it was going to be the first line of the book and it ended up being partway through the first chapter, and it was "A man with a dragon is never truly alone." Which since he's an outcast the whole theme of being alone or not alone is kind of relevant. [33]
My favorite good/bad line from Murtagh is: “The water was like liquid ice.”.. . . Yeah, yeah. I know. But you understand what I meant! And that’s the point of writing. Ahahaha!* I didn't notice! just imagined really cold water Can’t tell you how many times I stepped into the Yellowstone River and thought: “This feels like ice! But liquid.” [T]
Providing Context
In the acknowledgments section you said you owe your agent some sushi? Yes! I bet him a sushi dinner, an expensive new York sushi dinner, that I could keep Murtagh under the length of Eragon. And I got close. The first draft was one hundred and sixty eight thousand words long. Eragon is one hundred and fifty six thousand words long. And I figured well I usually drop about ten percent of length in editing, so I thought I'd do that. The problem is I hate over explaining things. I know that sounds incredibly hypocritical based off what I've actually written, but because of my experiences of over explaining things, I've really tried to not do that as much, and so I wrote the book assuming that someone had read the Inheritance Cycle and remembered it. So I didn't explain what a lot of things were because I assumed the reader knew. And my editor came back and said "Christopher, I know what you're doing, but you can't do that. Because someone might pick this up without having read the Inheritance Cycle. And even if someone read the Inheritance Cycle, it's been twelve years. So provide a little context." Well, that ended up being thirty-three thousand words, give or take. So now we're at one hundred and ninety eight thousand words, so I owe my agent a sushi dinner. [17]
It's always interesting to me to see how people do their first chapters in a series. Because I always feel like chapter one is like "previously on..." It's funny. I wrote my latest book with basically no callbacks or explanations of established information. After four books and a million published words, you kind of think people have it under their belt. And my editor came back and she was like, "It's been eleven years since the last book, even if people are fans of the series, you got to give them a little more." So usually when I write a first draft, it drops by about 10% in editing. And with that book, it went up by 33,000 words, which all of it was basically context, which was interesting. So that was a first for me. I'm a kitchen sink author, so I throw everything in and then I usually cut back during editing. [33]
I would love to write books that are more around the length of 100,000 to 150,000 words. Like that's a good, solid length. That's where I was shooting for with Murtagh, but for some reason my editor kept asking me to add more and more stuff so we ended up close to 200,000 words. [1]
Final word count of Murtagh is 198,983 words. So my editor had me ADD about 34,000 words to the book over the course of editing/revising. Ha! That's a first. [T]
Gil'ead Sequence
Interesting choice to break it up into the sections of each city. Just the section in Gil'ead is basically a novel on its own. There's a full arc in Gil'ead that would be a normal size novel for any other writer. I nearly split it into two volumes, actually, there. But my editor said, "no, don't do that". The funny thing about Gil'ead is that actually was not in my original outline. The whole sequence. And the reason is that, for me, I was envisioning a much shorter book. And the whole thing was going to be them going to the village and dealing with Bachel. So let's get to the village as quickly as possible. So we'll just have a chapter or two at the beginning of getting the information. Well, storytelling 101, you can't make it easy for the character. So having Murtagh just be able to go get that information somewhere, find it out, just felt too easy. Also, I kind of locked myself into a little path because the first chunk of the book is reworking the short story from The Fork, the Witch, and the Worm. And at the end of that, Murtagh does not have the information he needs. So he can't get it from the people he interacts with in that chapter, which if I were writing Murtagh as a complete standalone, I could have considered that. So then I thought, "well, he'll go to Gil'ead and we'll have a really quick thing there. And he'll get his information." I started writing it the way I originally envisioned. But again it was too easy. So it was like, "OK. There needs to be a challenge here. What else is going on? How does it tie into my larger world and story?" And it does. There's some unresolved storylines there, but it does tie into the larger stuff I'm going to later. And then it was half the book. Seriously. At the end of the following chapter, right after Gil'ead, is almost perfectly 50% through the book. I'm sure everyone's heard of the three act play, but there's a competing theory of storytelling, which I'm actually very fond of, which is the five act play. So you have two acts at the beginning, two acts at the end, and then your middle act, and then you have an act in the middle. And in that middle act, you have a tipping point where your character sort of sees what they need, or sees what they can become. They ultimately see their own solution to their problems, but then the rest of the back half of the story is them grappling with that solution, coming to terms with it. And that actually worked, it was not intentional, but it worked out perfectly with the structure of this book. The structure of this book is also directly inspired by some of the structuring that I did in my sci-fi novels and I carried some of it back into Alagaësia. [11]
In regard of Murtagh or any other part of your work, what's the most intense moment for you during the creative process when you are in the midst of writing a novel? A lot of it is intense. I'm gonna divide it into two sections. The creative process itself, in the sense that where I'm creating the story and the characters and the world. In this case, of course, the world was pretty much in place, but in the outlining phase, I should say, that's a lot of fun. There's some pressure in the sense that I know if I don't get it right in that stage, that no matter how well I write the book, it won't hang together particularly well for the reader. So there's strain in that sense that I really want to get it right. But I wouldn't say there's any real pressure, because there's no deadlines at that point. I'm not actually writing the book. During the writing itself, there's definitely strain and intensity in wanting to get it right and do a good job of writing each individual scene and chapter and storyline. And sometimes that can get difficult, especially if I feel like I'm not really getting where I need to get in terms of the effect on the reader. I had that in a couple places in the first draft with Murtagh. One was with the character Bachel herself, who was quite different in the first draft. And then another one actually was the whole Gil'ead sequence, where my original idea for that sequence is actually what happens now in terms of the werecat kittens and all of that. And then I second guessed myself and thought, "well, maybe that's a little cheesy. Maybe I won't have a ticking clock element to that sequence. So I'm just gonna not have that, but he'll still have these various adventures in order to earn this information from the werecat Carabel." And the problem is it removed any sense of tension from that sequence. So I ended up having to rework a lot of the Gil'ead sequence to reintroduce that element, bring in the tension and make it all work. But both of those things happened in the second chunk, which I was gonna say is revision. And revision and editing tends to be the most intense part of the process, because at that point we're usually under deadline. We've committed to a release date and things are happening on the business side of things, that are sort of like unstoppable forces. The ticking clock in the real world. And that tends to be the most intense part because it's not that I can't do the work, I always can and I always am able to get where I wanna go. I'm not stressed about that, it's just instead of having two months to do something, now you got to do it in two weeks, and oh hey, you got a new baby you got to take care of at the same time. And that's what makes it really intense. [19]
One of the things that I loved about the very first half of this novel is that it is a quintessential RPG action adventure. Because poor Murtagh gets pushed and pulled willingly and unwillingly in the strangest directions. Yeah, he's on the series of fetch quests. It's funny. I've had a bunch of people react differently to that. I've seen people who kind of hate it and really love it, and a lot of people who say, "Well, Christopher's just writing out his D&D session". I literally have never played D&D except for my recent trip down to the Authors in the Dungeon down in Utah. So I don't play D&D. I have no one here to play it with. The only RPGs I've ever played are Skyrim and the Mass Effect series. My logic with that sequence was there was a whole lot we needed to see about Murtagh's back history without rehashing the Inheritance Cycle, without actually going back and rewriting scenes from his point of view. And just doing it all in flashbacks and dreams gets a bit tedious. On top of that, originally that sequence wasn't in the book I was going to write. I was going to start with essentially the opening. And then we were going to go to Nal Gorgoth fairly quickly in the book. But it just made it too easy. No one's going to give them the information for free. There's always a price attached to information. There had to be difficulty in getting it. And then once I was digging into that, I was like, okay, how can I use this to show some aspects of Murtagh's character, and then how will that then get reflected in the second half of the book? And how will that let me inform what happens in the second half of the book? And I really enjoyed that stuff. Muckmaw was a particular favorite of mine. [32]
Thorn
One of the things that we get a lot of in this book that was really wonderful after reading Inheritance, was Thorn's-- we don't really get his POV, but we get some POV through Murtagh of him. I think he only has one line in the entire Inheritance Cycle. In the last book. And we get a lot of him here. And we get a very different Rider-Dragon relationship between him and Murtagh versus Saphira and Eragon. What was the process of crafting that relationship to be similar in its like magical quality, but also different in the fact that they had a very trying kind of hatching? Well that was the key right there. I wanted it to feel different while still maintaining the sense that they'll back each other up no matter what, which they have in the past. That's an important part of that. But Murtagh is kind of a difficult personality himself. Thorn, as we see in the book, of course, had a very, very difficult upbringing under Galbatorix and then later on. And that leaves scars. That leaves marks. So trying to find a way to reflect that in the relationship without having them also just be at each other's throats, because they're not. They are being supportive. But at the same time, it's perhaps an overused word these days, but they have trauma that they are having to battle. [11]
One of my favorite things is the relationship between Murtagh and Thorn--they’re such a lonely duo, but it allows the book to kind of delve into that dragon/rider bond in a new way. What sets their relationship apart do you think? Murtagh and Thorn were joined under the most difficult of circumstances, and that shapes their interactions in a thousand different ways. Their relationship is more, ah, thorny than Eragon and Saphira’s, but they also still love each other and would lay down their lives for one another, should the occasion demand it. I found their interactions really interesting to write. Also, it felt important that I didn’t directly replicate Eragon and Saphira’s relationship. Murtagh and Thorn are very different beings, and readers should see that. [15]
What is the relationship between Murtagh and his dragon Thorn? Thorn's egg hatched when they were imprisoned by King Galbatorix. The two friends have been tortured and manipulated. They retain many traumas. They care deeply for each other and are closely bonded. But their relationship is more difficult than that of Eragon and his dragon Saphira. [4]
Claustrophobia
I definitely got choked up with just Thorn and his claustrophobia and how it was written, how it was handled, everything surrounding it. Out of pure curiosity, do you or do someone you know have that kind of claustrophobia that you were able to speak to about? No. A large part of the act of writing is the act of imagination, just like with acting. But even though there's no one in my life who suffers from that, when I'm writing Thorn or anyone who might feel that, I do my best to feel what they're feeling, which is why when writing scenes or a large chunk of a book where perhaps things are difficult for the characters, I have a bad time. Yeah, I hope you take breaks. Yeah, that's where it's good to go play with the kids and take a load off one's mind. But some of the battle scenes in Inheritance really got to me at times, because I'm thinking actually especially in Inheritance, but also in Brisingr, there were some large set pieces, battles. And it just takes a couple of weeks to write sometimes. And that's a long time to have your head in blood and guts. [11]
Bachel
You write so many diverse women in your books that we really enjoy. Between Arya, Angela, Nasuada, Queen Islanzadi, you write fantasy with women in positions of power, with agency and with action. And then we get to this book and we meet this villain, Bachel, and she's basically like, "what if Angela was evil?" I hadn't thought of it that way. I was reading the book. I was like, "Did Christopher Paolini and his sister have a fight? What changed in that relationship?" Because she's awful. So I've watched a lot of movies in my life, and a lot of old movies too. I was thinking of some of the classic actresses from the Golden Age of Hollywood who would come on the screen with a very imperious feel, like Sunset Boulevard or All About Eve or some of those films. And Bachel is sort of in that category of presence. And I think it's exactly what was needed to put Murtagh off balance. I was also thinking of Kai Winn from Deep Space Nine. I've always said that Kai Winn and from Harry Potter the headmistress Umbridge, and Hyacinth Bouquet from the British show Keeping Up Appearances. The three of them in a room together will be like a nuclear explosion. When you were approaching bringing this book from the short story about The Fork into a full novel, at what point did you create this character and where did she come from? I had a general idea before writing Murtagh, of course. I did a lot of plotting and preparatory work, but you never know how a character is going to come across until you write the first draft. And in the first draft, Bachel was not as successful as she is now, I think. I was writing the first draft quickly, and I was thinking of the stories a little bit more of like a Edgar Rice Burroughs style adventures. You go off into the jungle, and you find a hidden temple and lost civilization sort of thing. And as a result, in the first draft, Bachel was much more vampy. I really went hard on that angle. And then looking back over, it's like it didn't work. And it was so cliche and obvious. It was like, yeah, I needed to find another approach. So I kept reworking Bachel with each cycle of revision and it was getting better. The character was getting better and better, but I wasn't fully committing to the change. And it was right at the end of revisions. I mean, we were down to the wire and my editor said, we're still not quite there. And even though I hated to have to have any more work at that point, I knew she was right. So I went in. We're talking with a week to spare before we went to the printers. And I rewrote the first four chapters or so when he gets to the village. I rewrote pretty much every line of dialogue of hers and every description of her to bring it to where we are. And then I was like, "OK, now it works", and my editor agreed. She is terrifying and one of those characters that's not mustache twirly evil, but has so much evil within her. She thinks she can do no wrong, that she is always doing the right thing and that she knows what's best for all the people around her. And as a result is capable of anything. So all of which is to answer your question, her character was an iterative process to get where she needed to go. [11]
I try to imagine what it is to create characters and if some of them have the purpose to be a particular message or stand as a parable for a message or an idea and if yes, what does Bachel mean to you in a deeper way? I think the Bachel to me represents unquestioning belief and also the tyranny of unchecked power and control over people's lives. I think what differentiates Bachel from a real world cult leader, for example, and this actually kind of made it interesting to me, is that the Dreamers and Bachel are rational in the sense that they are believing in something that actually exists. The power that they are in awe of and that they are afraid of and that they worship actually exists. And the same is true of the priests of Helgrind. So in a sense they are not irrational to have that reaction. You might argue it's the wrong reaction. I would argue that they're overdoing it and the reaction is wrong and perhaps even evil, but they have more reason for their belief than a lot of people sometimes do because they have physical evidence on an ongoing basis of their object of worship. But again, Bachel would to me represent unchecked fanatical belief as well as personal exploitation of one's power over others. [19]
The cult experience in the pages of Murtagh eerily echoed in some ways certain experiences I've had with religion. Could you talk about where that part of your writing came from or how you went about writing it? I understand why that comment's anonymous, and I'm going to kind of adhere to that philosophy of anonymity here. Without going into details, I've had some family members who were in a cult at one point. And that occasioned quite a bit of discussion in my life growing up. Although the cult might seem, and probably is, completely over the top and cartoony in some ways, you would be astounded by how much of that was essentially true to life. Let's put it this way, playing Far Cry 5, if anyone's familiar with that, was a distinctly uncomfortable experience for me. So I did whatever I do when I encounter something uncomfortable. I played the game like four times in a row. [34]
No matter how outlandish a belief seems, it can be completely realistic in your world. Especially if you have people committed to it. I've had family members who've been in a cult at one point. That was interesting. So I've had firsthand experience seeing a lot of this stuff in person, and I used some of that in my latest book. [25]
How come Bachel is pronounced like that when it’s only one little line away from Rachel? The English language hurts my head. Because it’s not from English, and I wanted it to sound different from every other name in the series. [T]
Puce
In Murtagh I have a dragon who's not supposed to be a very nice dragon. I gave him the worst color I could. I have a puce dragon. And mind you, I don't necessarily mind the color itself. It's just for those who don't know, the original definition of the word puce is the color of dried flea blood. So it's a puce dragon. [33]
Traumatic Sequences
What was it like cranking up the anxieties of it, the horrors of it? It feels more mature this time around. Well, good. Murtagh is a more mature character, and he's always had a harder road to walk than Eragon. So, going easy on him was never an option, but it was hard to write. It's hard to put my mind in difficult situations for days on end, weeks on end, months on end when writing and editing. It takes a toll on you emotionally. At least, that's my experience because I empathize with the characters and the world. But at the same time, it's so interesting dramatically that I can't avoid it. Actually [the reason] why I wrote the book was that last chunk of the book. That's what everything leading up to was building and hopefully supporting so that when that hits, you're there going, “Oh my god.” [6]
There is a extended period of this book uh that is very traumatic. That is the darkest I think the series ever gets. Where did you find the line? Were there any drafts where you felt like you went too far with that section or where you had to pull it back? Yes. Not a huge amount though. First of all, I throw everything in in my first drafts, kitchen sink, because you can always dial it back, whatever it is. Even if it's a funny scene, it's like I push it as far as I can and then see how it hits the audience. So in the sequence you're talking about, there was one thing in particular I did that I actually don't want to talk about, that I cut out during editing at my editor's very wise advice, and I'm really glad I did. But that was a thing. Because I was like how far can I take this, and that was too far. [11]
Hopefully this is not scaring anyone off from reading Murtagh. No, it's fantastic. And I think just because it is darker doesn't mean it's bad. I think that it's honestly a perfect natural progression from the Inheritance Cycle to this character. I think it's what the character needed. I also don't think it's depressing, ultimately. [11]
Tell me a little about how you see Murtagh’s journey in this book. He’s certainly on a much darker road than his half-brother, how was it getting to write a story that has more mature themes? I found it enormously rewarding to write about a character who is both more mature and more complicated than Eragon was for the majority of the Cycle. Especially now that I’m older myself. Dramatically, Murtagh (and Thorn!) presented all sorts of interesting opportunities, and I did my best to take advantage of them in this book. Also, since a lot of my readers have grown up with the series, even as I did, I wanted to give them a book that would satisfy them as much as it will also hopefully satisfy younger readers. [15]
As a fifteen-year-old boy I would never have been able to imagine such a flawed character as a central figure, but I now view life very differently. And you notice that my readers who have grown along with me also see these extra shades of gray. [18]
Murtagh is indeed a more mature book than Eragon. Did you write it that way on purpose? Yes, Murtagh is an older character in the story than he or Eragon were in the first books. He is also a complicated person. And my readers have grown up with me in the meantime. So I felt it was important to write a book where my oldest readers would see my progression as writing, and read about characters they could once again identify with. At the same time, new readers should not be forgotten. That's why I wrote Murtagh in such a way that you can also read it without knowing the previous four books. I wanted to write a book that revolved around the difficult history of Murtagh and Thorn, but was still a fun adventure to read. [23]
If you love this fandom, why are you making us suffer so much with this book? I mean the ending redeems you a little bit but oh my god. I'm sure it's been an emotional rollercoaster for you too. There are parts of the story that are definitely very difficult for Murtagh and Thorn and part of that may be my own predilection for writing that sort of stuff but mostly it was that Murtagh has done some very unpleasant things in the Inheritance Cycle, especially to Nasuada. And he needed to come to terms with that, he needed to grapple that, he needed to face it. And there was no easy path forward for him. If I had done easy on Murtagh I feel like readers would have decided that I was cheating, going easy, and that Murtagh didn't actually have to face the consequences of his actions. Even if he wasn't a hundred per cent responsible for them at the time. I can assure you that, and I'll say this to other fans as well, after this story Murtagh is going to have an easier time of it. This book resolves his personal journey and Thorn's on a really fundamental level, and so life's going to be a little bit easier for Murtagh moving forward. [17]
Uvek
So going to Uvek, you've introduced another Urgal. I think that for a lot of readers, the twist on the Urgals in Eldest. They are not just beastial orcs or Uruk-hai or whatever other franchise does with them, Trollocs for Wheel of Time. They are this sentient race that wants to join the fight on the side of good. I think that that shook me when I first read it. How was it bringing another lead character really from that race into the book? And one of the things I really loved about the book is the scene where they're flying to the village, and they see the village of Urgals. And they're just playing with bows. They're just having a normal day. And he has this moment internally where he's like, "oh, maybe I need to be more inquisitive?" Uvek is one of my favorite characters from the book. I like the Urgal culture. I find it interesting. I wouldn't want to live next to an Urgal village, necessarily, especially since I have kids. But dramatically, creatively, they're really interesting to write about. And trying to balance them in the sense that they're a warrior culture like, we could say, the Klingons. But the Klingons take it to such a degree that realistically, you start asking the question of, how have they survived? How do they build a space-frame civilization when it seems like they tear each other apart super quickly? So with the Urgals, I wanted to show more. And in fact, in The Fork of the Witch and the Worm, the largest of the stories in that is The Worm, which is an Urgal story. And since I was looking at ways of exploring the idea of Murtagh and Thorn's relationship with society, being an outcast, all of that. The Urgals are outcasts in the land also. The other races aren't particularly fond of them. That was a nice connection to bring in and reflect off of Murtagh, so to speak. [11]
Typos
I just got off a very fresh reread of Murtagh. I just sent in typo corrections and a couple little tweaks here and there for the reprints. [32]
You mention in Murtagh that Murtagh's Gedwëy ignasia is on his right hand, but I think the community assumed it was on his left from Eldest. We're we all wrong or is that a continuity error I found? Typo. Getting fixed in reprints. [T]
Divers
I've seen a couple of questions about this, so -- for the record, "divers" is not a typo of "diverse". (Probably got too clever for my own good, but there you go.) Archaic language in fantasy books?!?! Say it ain't so! The language is half the fun. :D [T]
Not a typo. :D Archaic word. [T]
If this hypothetical typo is “divers” … that’s actually the correct word and not a typo. If it’s something else, just send a pic and we’ll get it fixed in reprints. [T]
CHRIS WHAT IS THIS? An excellent and archaic word. [T]
*sigh* . . . “divers” is a real word. Not a typo (and it doesn’t mean those who dive in the water) [T]
I mean, "divers" isn't a typo, so . . . That said, if you do find typos in Murtagh, feel free to tweet them at me. We'll get 'em fixed in reprints. Happens with every book. [T]
Heh. Good thing “divers” is actually a word (and it doesn’t mean someone diving into water). [T]
The thing I want to talk to you about today is Twitter drama. You've been getting in tons of fights with readers lately on Twitter. You've been saying some really awful and hateful things to them just because they're pointing out typos in your book. What's the deal with this "divers" typo? Yes, on the first page of Murtagh there's a word "divers", which is an archaic word that means many or a multitude or different things. And too many people think that I'm referring to scuba divers. So it is a fight worth having. You make up fake words all the time. You're a fantasy author. I think the difference here is that you've made up a fake word which also has a real world definition, a person who dives as a sport, and you've put it on the front page of Murtagh without any context clues provided as to how we should interpret this. This is a book that's part of a world that no one has read in more than 10 years. So don't you think that maybe you should apologize to your readers who have waited all this time for a quality product only to be let down by an "archaic" word, aka a typo, on the first page? Absolutely. In fact, I had a conversation with my editor about this before heading out on book tour and we'll be reprinting the books but we're going to translate it all into Pig Latin which should make it more understandable for readers. [31]
Reading Order
I didn't read FWW,should I read it before read Murtagh? I Thought it was a spin-off book. You don't have to read it ... but I would. It acts as a direct lead-in to Murtagh Honestly I'm finding it shocking the number of people who haven't read FWW. There's a solution to that. . . . (Why does that sound mildly threatening?) [T]
Even if you haven't read the other books I think you can certainly enjoy Murtagh as much or even more. [12]
Is Murtagh Book 5 in the story about Eragon/Alagaësia? Yes [R]
Murtagh is a direct inline full-length sequel to the series, even though it has a different main character. [1]
I just finished Fractal Noise last night, and when you mentioned in the afterward about another book for a certain Eragon character, I was hoping it would be him. Yeah, I wanted to mention Murtagh on the "Also By" page in Fractal Noise, but we weren't sure if Murtagh was getting announced before Fractal Noise got released to early readers. [T]
submitted by ibid-11962 to Eragon [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:46 HeidiInWonderland Thank you!

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers, texts, and calls. I am absolutely fine. I learned a lesson about my arrogance. I hope to keep this lesson with me forever.
Yesterday Mom filed the appeal to the suspension. She gave me permission to have "a jailbreak" so I can run in the Park. "After you run, take a shower and get dressed for school. I predict they will be calling you before 10:00 a.m. to tell you your suspension has been canceled. Have a good day and don't you dare gloat about what happened. You are no hero and you really have to figure out how to make amends."
Between yesterday and today I chanted hours and hours to understand what had happened. First of all, I feel very good now and that is the biggest benefit. Second, I found out who the anonymous tipper was. At first I had assumed that it was the lurker here who keeps on downvoting all of our posts. But, as it turns out, I got a call from one of my Jammy girls. She was really worried about me and couldn't pull together the courage to tell me face to face. I really understand and from my chanting I realize I have to become the type of person who can make it easy for the people around me to speak up.
I really appreciate all the advice I received telling me I now need to turn poison to medicine. It's true. Whether it's one day or four days, it's not enough for me to "serve" my suspension. It might be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I have to figure out how to make amends with Mr. Sutherland, the Dean. I have to make a human connection with him. So this is the email I sent to him early in the morning:
Dear Dean Sutherland, I am hoping we can sit down together face to face to clear the air after I serve my suspension. I was clearly in the wrong. What made it worse was that I wasn't hearing what you were all trying to tell me. I know I have to work on my mouth. I don't feel right about just "taking" my punishment. I won't feel right unless I can make amends. I am also hoping we can see the humanity in each other. I would feel very happy about doing community service for your office after school everyday. Thank you for reading this.
Within 5 minutes I received a response from him: "Good idea, let's do it."
Lita is really on max between her internship and school. She has also been piling on a lot of dance and acting classes to get ready for her meeting today with Benjamin & Co. And she is reading the original George Bernard Shae Pygmalian to better understand the subtext of Eliza Doolittle. Still, she found time to meet with Coach after school yesterday. Lita doesn't have the time to post but she told me what happened and asked me to share what Coach told her over a slice of pizza.
I will always be your coach, whether you are in this school or not, whether you get your ass suspended or not. That is simply the relationship between a coach and her athletes. If you get into a fight in school you get suspended, right? But if you get into a fight during a competition, you get thrown out of the game but not suspended from school. Why? Because things happen in the heat of a game. An athlete learns from making mistakes. It's the job of coaches to point out the mistakes. It's not easy for either of them. I want you to tell Heidi that I love and respect her very much and that will never change. When I see her next, I want to see her with her head held up high (she actually said "tits up" 🫢)* and shoulders back strong. But also tell her I will suspend her ass again and again whenever she crosses that line.
All right. Enough said. And I just received an email from the school. My suspension is lifted and I should report immediately.
submitted by HeidiInWonderland to LoHeidiLita [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 14:32 shaneka69 Get A Tarot Reading Today! ALL READINGS SENT SAME DAY THEY ARE BOOKED

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2024.05.15 14:21 Mountain_Video9303 Why do i make up extreme lies? am i a pathological liar?

My whole life i have lied about things big and small but ive never had any intentions behind lying, such as to manipulate people or to get attention ect.. (this might be a long read but it’s all important info)
It started of as small things like in elementary school we were watching a video about professional bastekballers, i lied and said one of them was my cousin. I didn’t do it to get attention i just did and i don’t know why. (Obviously no one believed me)
One time in elementary, i was scratched by my dog and sent a picture of it to my friend saying “My dog scratched me” but in those quotes, implying that i SH. (It looked like if u scratch urself w ur fingernail) they obviously got very upset and our friendship ended,,not before me messaging her on PINTEREST apologising. I don’t know why i did that i just did it without any thoughts of “i shouldn’t send this” it was just impulsive/reflex. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then i started to lie more frequently e.g., if someone asked me a question like “ Have you ever done..{insert topic},or have u ever watched {insert topic}” i would respond w a lie. Those are just examples because i can’t remember every single lie i’ve told especially small ones. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As i’ve gotten older, i’m 19 now. I’ve lied about more extreme things.
I can’t remember much of my childhood, only “core” memories that randomly pop up in my mind; but i don’t have a concept of time w these memories,, idk how old i was when they happened. if i see a picture or if someone in my family mentions a story i can then remember it but only with the detail they provide.
For some background information, i have been verbally abused by my mother and she has suffered with depression and ‘manic??’ episodes my whole life.
When i was younger our relationship was very bad (still is) and we would get into yelling matches almost every day. These were me being yelled at for doing normal things a CHILD would do such as, sleeping in on accident, forgetting to bring something to school ect. And practically any chance she would get to have an argument with me.
She would scream things like “Your worthless, your useless , your a b*tch and ungrateful child, your fucked in the head” ect. She would say things along those lines to me almost every day for several years of my life. I couldn’t give you an age timeline as i can’t remember how old i was when it started happening.
I also have an older brother who’s always have a good relationship w my mum, she only treats me like this (i’m austisic and i’ve been told that’s why we “clash”) My mum was physically abused as a child and homeless around my age. She definitely hasn’t “healed” from it and still doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions and communicate effectively. My dad excuses her behaviour when i try to talk about how it has affected me by saying “it’s the depression, or the way her childhood was and she tries to be better!, she regrets what she says to me and loves me so much” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now to probably the worst lie i’ve told. I need to tell some background info tho for it to make sense! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It all happened when i was on 🍃 and at a park with a group of people,, two of my close friends, let’s call them G & B, G’s boyfriend J. 4 guys friends w J including K who G worked with and i was “close with” for 6 months. i will try not to go into lots of detail bcoz if i did this post would be super long.
K was very manipulative towards me, well that is what my two friends G & B would tell me. I could provide screenshots of me and K’s conversations but i won’t, to protect privacy. Me and B hung out with K a few times to sesh and i would talk to K frequently on snap mostly about mental health related things.
He let me vent and explain how i felt and would give me advice as he was older, more experienced and struggled himself. I had a crush on him, he didn’t like me back but we stayed friends.
I discovered i didn’t actually like him and it was just Limerance. We had lots of arguments i can’t remember what about bcoz there was so many. One i remember was he dropped my friend B because she had BPD like him but “didn’t try to manage herself”; not related to that, i started to feel a sense of “hatred” towards B and the way they treated me as a friend in certain situations. I would complain abt them to K often and K would tell me to drop B. i did this while i was still best friends with B.
Me and B’ friendship almost ended because K told them to like get a grip and manage their BPD and treat me better. I liked to B and told them “i’ve never told K anything bad abt them only abt one situation which i’m over and i told u i told K. “ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Summary of it all i’m no longer friends w K and no one ik has been for a good 7-8 months. I will include some “quotes” they said to me in one our last convo (there was another situation after this but if i include it’ll be too long) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I know that to you, you genuinely think all of the stuff you said was happening is, that's how mental illness works cos i was the same” ; “This is so funny that you think it's somehow my responsibility to control your emotions and attachments”
“You just expect me to cut u off and somehow manage ur attachment for you, you need to manage ur own attachments” ; “You usually accuse me of things unjustly but i've done that to ppl before when i was your age so i understood” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After some thought i realise that K might’ve been right about me and my friends were (partially) wrong abt him being manipulative and a bad person. Yes they’ve seen the texts and conversations and the quotes above.
It’s eating at me that i acted this way towards K because it’s embarrassing.
I have to end this story here because it’ll get to long even tho i want to include it all!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the park. We were all talking abt life events that have happened to us and i told everyone there that i “had a huge secret ive never told anyone”.
“When i was a young child my dad told my mum to get bread out of the freezer to defrost and then make my sandwich for school. When my dad had left my mum complained and started yelling at me because I’m old enough to make my own goddam food. It got heated and she threw the loaf of bread at this glass cabinet i was next to, the glass shattered everywhere and cut my foot. i started to cry and scream, which made her angrier. She picked up a shard and tried to un*live me.” i won’t go into detail of the last bit of the lie i said.
Now this did actually happen apart form the very last bit. When i was telling this lie i didn’t have any intentions behind making it up. It just all came to me and out of my mouth as i was saying it,, kinda like i was read a book and just continuing to read.
I understand that this isn’t something to be lied about. I knew i was lying when i said it/after. I cannot tell people that it is a lie especially because i am still friends with G & B. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last week i had a conversation with B about it as i mentioned i think i want to start going to therapy.
My reason for wanting to start therapy (this isn’t the only reason why i want to go and not the only time i’ve considered it) was that i got so annoyed by something my mum had done i was thinking everything would be better if she was just 💀. And how i went spiraling wondering if i was a psychopath for thinking/imagining me doing it.
My friend told me that im not a psychopath because i wouldn’t m*rder my mother cold blooded and have no remorse. And something along the lines of she hasn’t done anything to drive me to do that. I brought up the “Incident” (the lie) and B asked me to say what happened again because they forgot.
I told it in the same detail as i did to them before but i said “it’s kinda uncomfortable to type” they said it’s okay i don’t have to ( keep in mind my friend has experienced very traumatic things and wouldn’t get uncomfortable with hearing) and you saying that it’s uncomfortable proves ur not a psychopath.
It wasn’t uncomfortable for me to say, i felt awkward because i knew i was lying again. I know that no one “normal” lies about things like this.
I most of the lies i’ve told especially this one because i have to live with this now for the rest of my life. Telling my friends the truth is not an option, i don’t know how they would react and i would end up with no friends, isolated and excluded from society around me. Maybe that is what i deserve because I’ve lied abt something so horrible and intricately aswell.
I’ve also lied about being SA, i have never falsely accused anyone. I told the lie without saying the “person” who did it because i “didn’t know”. I regret doing this and if i could go back and somehow pause the part of my brain that wires me to lie i would.
I don’t think i’m a psychopath, i have empathy for others,,atleast i think it do?? I tell my friends and family that i love them and display affection towards people. I’ve been in multiple romantic situationships but never a proper relationship.
The idea of cuddling with a partner, talking to them every day and doing lovey dovey couples stuff makes me uncomfortable and i would be awkward doing so.
I’ve always had to question if i actually liked/loved someone as i know the definition of loving someone and how it’s shown but i don’t know if i feel it. I don’t know how to tell if i feel love or how to tell if i like someone romantically.
I do have autism which can be linked with a lack of empathy. Now that i think about it i can’t tell if I’m empathetic. My dad had skin cancer and had to have reconstruction surgery for it, i didn’t feel sad at the possibility of him dying or from seeing him in the hospital bed.
When we visited him my other family members were crying or very emotional. It’s not that i wished he had cancer and died i just didn’t feel any sort of emotion toward it.
My best-friends, i love them dearly? if either of them died i would definitely be sad, but I’m not sure if my “feeling sad” is the “normal” like if they passed away i would miss them giving me advice, conversations, moments and hangouts together and the fact we couldn’t make anymore memories.
I feel a deep connection with animals and love to be in their presence. although when i was very young after seeing my mum always kick, punch or push my pets for their “bad behaviour “ when my cat broke something in my room i attempted to str*ngle it. I regret that deeply and would never do that ever again. Ever. If i had to chose between never doing that and erasing my existence i would.
I guess what i’m asking is if anyone who has similar experience of lying without knowing why or if anyone has any advice on what i should do please help!
I understand a therapist would be good to tell this all too but i am afraid of the consequences/admitting i lied about horrible things. I know that im a horrible person for doing this, i dont think better of myself for lying.
i would do absolutely anything to go back and have never told a lie.
If anyone can help me i would really appreciate it and definitely implement strategies to become a better person and hopefully never lie again.
If anyone has an idea of whats “Wrong with me” please share, be harsh, be honest, be mean if you want to. If there is “something wrong with me” i will definitely try to get professional help when i can or is there a much harder way to resolve “myself” on my own.
submitted by Mountain_Video9303 to psychopath [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 13:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

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