If you've never played League of Legends (abbrev. to LoL) before, there's just a few things you need to know:

1. It's a 5v5 team game
2. The playerbase is notoriously TOXIC as hell
3. 'Faker' is the best LoL player Esports has ever seen, and even though he's played professionally for 10 years, he continues to get better and better
4. A 'Skin' is an alternate appearance for a Champion (playable character) that you can buy with real money (but first you need to buy ingame currency called RP), or possibly get for free through freebie rewards from playing the game
5. The average price of a Skin is $10 USD (1350 RP)
6. Faker does not equip his Champion with a skin, opting to only use the default (free) appearance

Things begin 6 days ago when Riot Games posts a teaser trailer for a documentary film about Faker, titled "Hall of Legends: Faker', and it's set to release on the League of Legends Youtube channel June 14th. As part of the hype, 4 days ago, another Hall of Legends teaser video was released, this time showing a brand new Skin for the Champion Ahri, titled, 'Immortalized Legend Ahri'. It should be known that Ahri is one of the most popular Champs in the game, and Riot Games has continued to capitalize on that fact by producing more and more Skins for her.
Before this announcement, Ahri had 17 skins. Now, she will have 20, because this new Immortalized Legend Ahri skin has 3 variations, priced as 3 different bundles. Yes, this means, if you want any of these Skins, you have to buy one of the bundles that come with a bunch of other stuff, oh and the Skin too. Riot has also announced that 30% of the proceeds of this Skin line will go to Faker. So here are the prices:

Risen Legend Ahri Bundle (Basic): 5430 RP (~$40 USD) Immortalized Legend Ahri Bundle (Fancier): 32,430 RP (~$240 USD) Signature Ahri Bundle (Amazing!!!): 59,260 RP (~$500 USD)

How does leagueoflegends react? Let's take a look at the top thread as of this post: (Commenters will be C1, C2, C3, etc.)

C1: The way i thought 59k rp was a typo lmfaooo C2: i had to go look, then check the store, then go look again, then check the store again, and im still not completely sure this is actually real. i hope zero people buy the skins C3: My first thought was they wanted me to tell us we would get 59.620 RP of "value" from buying the battle pass C4: $500? Yeah no thanks lmao. Faker doesnt even use skins anyway. C5: If you wanna be like faker, don't buy a skin 💯 C6: For that kind of money I almost expect Faker himself to deliver me a code to the bundle C7: I would expect him to come home and play the next 10 matches for me and also go in a date together

One Redditor points out the irony of having the most expensive Skin in the game in honor of Faker, who doesn't use Skins:

C1: "Let's celebrate the face of our e-sport (who famously doesn't even spend money on skins) by absolutely overcharging the fuck out of his event skins." What the hell Riot lol C2: how ironic is that Faker himself is against using skins and they give him the most expensive skin ever made lol C3: Why is he against using skins? C2: He said before he sees skins as a waste of money and that the base skins are good enough for him, he has numerous world skins under his name but he used them less than 5 times in a 11 year career C3: The game is free, how else would it generate income if not for cosmetics? In its early days at least, I have no clue if the professional scene generates enough income to make it sustainable. [gets downvoted] C4: The comment above is straight up false information. Faker growing poor and couldn't afford skin and it became a habit of him so even with alot of money now he still don't buy skin. C3: What does he even spend money on? Doesn't he play league 24/7? [more downvotes] C5: Food, housing, and his future. Why would he spend money on a free game when he can save it and be 100% financially stable for the rest of his life. It's pretty pointless to spend money on league. C6: Pretty sure [T1, the team he plays for] covers his food and housing already lmao C3: [to C5] I'm sure that faker buying skins here and there would bankrupt him. C5: You're missing the point. People who grow up in poverty are generally going to avoid spending on things like that. It's not that it's going to bankrupt him, you're twisting my words in bad faith.

Several Redditors do the math to help themselves visualize the price of the most expensive bundle:

C1: $500 for a skin, that's a real signature move by Riot. C2: "most generous bundles" (40$ 💀) C3: Elden Ring´s DLC is cheaper C4: This is giving me real "pride and accomplishment" vibes lol C5: Would you rather have a) A couple of skins and some useless bs like icons and emotes b) A Steam Deck with a dozen of the best indie games ever made C6: c) rent money C7: Almost half my monthly wage 💀💀 C8: 3rd world country mfs got hit harrrd This shit is 2.5x my monthly 9 to 5 wage And I mean the full thing, no rent no food no bills nothing 2 and a half months of ice soup if I wanted to buy this lmao C9: This is like, 10 months worth of rent for me what the fuck C10: This is what I earn in a month (working 10h) 💀 I can decide between food and league skin

The comments keep coming in, so get popcorn ready, because there's more threads to read after that!
The Hall of Legends event was never about celebrating Faker, it was to use him to make money.

Almost every League player loves Faker and we would have loved to to own the Ahri skin dedicated to him. Riot putting the full skin behind 600$ paywall is the biggest insult imaginable to us. Riot chose to exploit our love for Faker for their own gain.

Meanwhile, in AhriMains, the Fox lovers are alternating between cope memes and boycott ideas:
I Blame the Whales for this.
Easy way to counter Riot's prices
The best way to rebel is to boycott Ahri herself

I think it’s atrocious that riot is pricing a skin bundle that costs half my paycheck for an entire month. I say let’s protest in a way that forces riot to the negotiating table. All we need to do is ban Ahri every single game. The whales will never get to enjoy the skin if they cannot play the champion, and then riot will be forced to lower prices. Similar strategies worked for ryze. Let’s work to get Ahri banrate to 100%. Edit: Big brain idea, link this post in every pre-game lobby and ask them to also do the same in their next game. Exponential spread. Also send this message below to all your friends and ask them to do the same, without the parenthesis. Grassroot movements need commitment. "Discourage riot from 500$ skin. Send to friends. https://old.reddit.com/AhriMains/comments/1d2rsi5/the_best_way_to_rebel_is_to_boycott_ahri_herself/?sort=top"

Reminder to not piss in the popcorn.

It was originally an MP3 file without any information, but in order to upload it on Reddit, I added an image and converted it into a video.
I found it while clearing the chat file cache of my QQ (a chat software similar to Discord), which is notorious in my country for saving any images or videos referenced during conversations and occupying a lot of hard drive space. I can no longer remember who sent it to me or when it was sent to a certain server, it just lay quietly on my hard drive for many years.
I have asked many of my friends about its possible source, but have not received any definite clues. However, considering its name is dummy. mp3 and that I have joined many strange retro game communities before, I guess it may come from an OST of a certain game.
I couldn't find any information about this song on all the music software and video websites I know, even though I tried using various audio recognition functions. If anyone can help me find its source or any clues, it would be a big help to me. Thank you very much.

It was originally an MP3 file without any information, but in order to upload it on Reddit, I added an image and converted it into a video.
I found it while clearing the chat file cache of my QQ (a chat software similar to Discord), which is notorious in my country for saving any images or videos referenced during conversations and occupying a lot of hard drive space. I can no longer remember who sent it to me or when it was sent to a certain server, it just lay quietly on my hard drive for many years.
I have asked many of my friends about its possible source, but have not received any definite clues. However, considering its name is dummy. mp3 and that I have joined many strange retro game communities before, I guess it may come from an OST of a certain game.
I couldn't find any information about this song on all the music software and video websites I know, even though I tried using various audio recognition functions. If anyone can help me find its source or any clues, it would be a big help to me. Thank you very much.

Hi all. Long ramble ahead. I’ve been grappling with this for years and my friends are sick of hearing me whine, so it's time to turn to strangers on the internet.
I’m an actor. Just a hobbyist, I do community theatre, although if I’d found theatre earlier in life, it’d probably be my (aspirational) career. I love it so much— doing it, reading about it, studying theory, taking lessons, acting, directing, teaching. I volunteer. I make props. I build sets. I’ve dabbled in costumes, lights, sound. I’m so obsessed, I feel like a parody of myself because it’s all I talk about.
Now, back in time a little bit. A few years ago, I met a guy at my “home base" community theater. At the time, I was 20, and he was 37. We flirted through a couple shows, then began a sexual relationship. I had always had a thing for older guys, so at the time, this kinda felt like a dream come true. He seemed like a really standup guy.
The casual sexual relationship eventually became a romantic one, as these things often go. After 6 months of dating, I broke up with him over a few recurring arguments. I'd put up with these things because, well, I loved him— plus, this was my first real relationship. He knew more about relationships than me, so I just followed his lead.
It didn’t help that he often made me feel bad for the way I felt. When I didn’t want to see him as frequently as he liked, he would sometimes suggest that it was a psychological issue that I needed to get to the root of. When we didn’t have sex as often as he liked, he’d ask if there might be something causing my “low libido” that I should check out with my doctor. He was quick to pathologize things he perceived as problems with me.
Resultantly, after breaking up, I questioned myself over everything. Was I a bad partner? Was I selfish? Did I have some kind of psychological problem making me undateable? I went back to therapy and spent many sessions discussing the toll this took on my sense of self.
Fast forward. Theaters are opening up again, and I start rubbing elbows with his guy as theatre colleagues again. This was fine— the breakup was actually pretty amicable for the most part (I had internalized all the self-doubt as a me problem rather than a “how dare he do this to me” problem). In fact, we still sporadically slept together (not my proudest moments).
He ends up directing a show at the theatre where we met, our mutual theatrical home-away-from-home. I audition and get cast. Right before rehearsals started, I told him we couldn’t sleep together anymore— I’d gotten my birth control implant out and didn’t trust condoms. He got angry when I told him this, which made the start of rehearsals very awkward, since we were both pissed at each other.
The rehearsal process itself was also rocky. For a variety of reasons, we got behind the curve almost immediately with rehearsals and just never recovered. Every part of the process became really rushed and chaotic. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I did not handle this flawlessly. But I handled it in two ways:
One, I complained. A lot. About a lot of things, and, admittedly, probably more than was fair. I want to be clear that it was never personal— I complained about production issues, never about people personally. And these complaints weren’t a secret— at first, I was (diplomatically) voicing my concerns to my ex, but he consistently brushed me off, so the complaints were relegated to private venting sessions with my friends.
Two: spending tons of extra time, money, and energy on the show. I stepped up. I stayed after rehearsals for extra practice. I brought snacks for the cast to share. I made sure to hype cast members up constantly. I made promotional materials. I personally bought supplies to fix the lead’s costume (the skirt the costumer gave her couldn’t zip, and at one rehearsal she accidentally flashed us on stage as a result, so I bought supplies to secure it another way— I’m still kind mad about this one, because it’s just really unconscionable to send a young actor on stage in clothes that may literally fall off her body, but I digress…). I did a ton of free labor for this show.
After the show, my ex told me that he was furious over how I’d behaved. He said my friends in that show “really brought out the worst in me,” and told me that everyone in the cast had personally gone to him to complain about what a horrible person I was. He also told me that he was quitting the staff of the show I was directing later that year, leaving my first directorial experience ever without a tech director. We screamed at each other on the phone after closing night, until he blocked my number and un-friended me on social media. I spent the next year and a half or so convinced that everyone at the community theatre hated me because of that show, so I stayed away from the theater I loved so much.
By now, I’ve learned a lot of things about my ex and the situation at the theatre that really make my stomach turn:

1. He has apparently been notorious for seeking out younger women since college. Someone he went to school with said she remembers him as a senior hitting on all the freshmen girls. This really hurt my feelings, because when he and I started dating, I asked younger women were his thing, but he said no and implied that I was “special.”
   
2. He tried to sabotage my getting my first directorial experience in the first place— he told higher-ups at the theatre that I was “acting like I already had the show,” making them think I was presumptuous and egotistical. This just never happened. Thankfully, I got the show anyway.
   
3. He’s told other directors about what a nightmare me and my “new friends” from his show were to work with. I’d harbored suspicions of being blacklisted, but a friend of mine had this confirmed by a director he was working with. Every time I get cut from a show, I still wonder if it’s somehow my ex’s doing (which is definitely pretty paranoid… but can you blame me?)
   
4. Most hurtful: he lied about everyone being mad at me over the show. After a long time of avoiding them, I’ve talked to some people who were in that cast, and they’ve all said they were frustrated at my ex and never had any complaints about me. This genuinely boggled my mind. I spent two years thinking I was an awful person who everyone hated, and that was all just a lie that my ex told me, on purpose, to make me feel horrible.
   

So that all leads me to where I am now. I’ve hardly been able to get into shows (1 in the two years since). I’m so desperately jealous whenever I see casting announcements. My ex keeps landing endless opportunities, acting, directing, or tech directing. And he continues hitting on young women. I hear rumors about it constantly. It just seems like he continues to win, continues to operate totally unchecked, and I… can’t get anywhere. I feel so stuck. I just really miss that community theatre that I used to love, and I’m so fucking jealous of all the people who just get to have fun there. I'm trying to branch out into some new communities where he has no connections, but it's difficult.
TLDR: my ex boyfriend is a very successful, manipulative creep who ruined my reputation at my theatrical home-away-from-home, and I can’t do anything about it without looking like an evil, jealous ex.
Just sucks big time. Thanks for letting me vent, sorry this is so long.

Hello all,
This is my first time doing this, so please bare with me if I'm being dense, or am too eager to find a match. My main goal with this post is to see if I have enough information to go to the coroner or sheriff with this.
NamUs John Doe entry
NamUs MP entry, the official MP poster, and the post to the Mason County Sheriff's website
Autopsy report for the John Doe is unavailable to me, it is confidential under law in WA.
The evidence I have:

1. The window of time between last known contact (Nov. 2021) and discovery of body (Jan. 2022) seems reasonable.
   
2. The distance between last known contact and discover of body is also a reasonable amount of distance (imgur link) for someone to either walk or hitchhike to.
   
3. Sex and race line up.
   
4. Height and weight are similar -- I'm a little shaky on this. because there is a ~2in difference in height, and the estimation for weight of victim is ~10lbs heavier than the high end of the estimated range of the MP. I'm not sure if this discrepancy is too big of a gap to be a deal breaker. As I said, I'm new to all this.
   
5. Similar hair color -- it's listed as auburn or red in the john doe entry, but in the picture provided, the hair appears more brown and has the same texture as the MP's hair color.
   

There is no description in clothing in the original MP poster.
I'm also wondering if this is too obvious of a match, and if the police have already explored and cleared this possibility. I can find nobody elsewhere online discussing this case, including the missing persons wiki.
Any suggestions are welcome, thank you all in advance!

So I’m 19, currently have 2 years NCB and will have 3 years NCB by the end of the summer.
Hot hatches and stuff are cool but I personally just wouldn’t want to own one. What appeals to me is a big diesel saloon/coupe I can waft down the motorway for 300 miles and still be comfy when I arrive, hopefully whilst looking a bit cool too. I do a lot of motorway driving. I’m a massive car nut too, I don’t know how to put it politely but I ideally don’t want something too “boring”.
I did a quick quote (entering 3 years NCB) on an old early 2000s Jag XJ 2.7 Diesel, and unfortunately the cheapest without a black box was like £2,200 which is too much for me.
I’ve looked at all sorts. 2.7 d Jag XFs, 2.0 d 3 and 5 series, an old Volvo S80 D5, Merc E Class 2.1 d
All were above £2k.
I’m probably (definitely) being unrealistic in thinking I’ll be able to find something that matches what I’m asking for, that’s not 2k+ to insure, feel free to verbally abuse me for being a dreamer in the comments lol.
But have you guys got any ideas for other cars I could try get quotes on?
And then hilariously, I looked at a Mk4 golf with a 1.9 PD engine…£1200 no black box. A hatchback notoriously owned by the boy racer type, with an engine notorious for being easily taken to 250+ whp, and yet its so much cheaper lol.
Born to cruise in a big old Jag, forced to wring the neck out of a hatchback😔

Idk how many hip hop fans are in the Bill Simmons subreddit but where the fuck else can I post something this niche
So I love the championship belt gimmick Bill does and after he did it with basketball players I started thinking about how it applies to my other interests, one of which is rap music. So here's my championship belt history. Starting with my criteria, these are in order they're all important.

• Commercial success: This isn't a list of my favorite rappers by year or the best rappers by year. In order to grab the belt you need to be big. Not necessarily the biggest but definitely a star.
  
• Critical success: Your music can't just be popular it has to be good. MC Hammer doesn't get a title reign, neither does Vanilla Ice, etc
  
• Prolificness: You don't need to drop on album every year but you can't take 5 years off and hold the title the whole time
  
• Feuds: Not every great rapper has a high profile beef and they don't need to but if you body another rapper in a feud it's a feather in your cap
  

Let's get started
1982-83: Melle Mel - I'm starting in 1982 because that's when I start to care enough about hip hop music to make this list. I respect the pioneers like Kool Moe Dee but for my relationship with the music it starts with one song. From the moment Melle Mel said "A child is born with no state of mind" in the 5th verse of The Message hip hop changed forever. He gets my inaugural title belt for that song which is still arguably the best rap song ever made 42 years later
1984-86: Run - Run-DMC became the first rap act to go Gold in 1984. Then in 85 they were the first to go Platinum. Then in 86 they were the first to go Double Platinum. All 3 albums were critically acclaimed and they had a top 5 hit as the exclamation point. Run gets the belt as the better MC of the two but he had help.
1987: Rakim - He drops Paid in Full, its amazing, his rhymes push the art form forward in leaps and bounds.
1988-1992: Ice Cube - Taking the belt off Rakim this early might be controversial and not giving it to Big Daddy Kane at that but NWA changed the game with Straight Outta Compton in 1988 and Ice Cube is the driving force behind that. Not only was he the best rapper in the group he also wrote the lyrics for Eazy E and Dr Dre when he would jump on the mic. Then be releases a solo album every year from 1990-93 with the first 3 being amazing culminating with his first breakthrough hits in Check Your Self and It Was a Good Day. All time run from a man who is mostly known to the kids today as Kevin Hart's sidekick.
1993: Snoop Doggy Dogg - You could argue his run started in 1992 with his contributions to The Chronic but I don't think he takes the belt off Cube until 1993 with his solo debut Doggystyle. Unfortunately Snoop couldn't keep it up for long.
1994: The Notorious BIG - Ready to Die and Illmatic are both masterpieces and I actually consider Nas to be a better rapper than Biggie but Biggie is the NY icon of the times and grabs the belt
1995-96: Tupac - I prefer Biggie to Tupac but he can't hold the belt in 95 and 96 without dropping an album when Tupac drops Me Against the World, All Eyez on Me, and The Don Killuminati (posthumously) and on top of that BODIES Biggie on Hit Em Up
1997: The Notorious BIG - Biggie was murdered just 3 months into this year but still owned it with Life After Death and his contributions to No Way Out which both came out posthumously.
1998: VACANT - There's a few guys with valid title claims in 1998. Andre 3000 just dropped OutKast's best album yet, DMX had two Platinum albums in 1998, Jay Z had his most commercially successful album. However I feel like leaving the title fallow for a year after the murders of Tupac and Biggie Smalls is the right thing to do.
1999-2003: Eminem - Maybe the easiest title reign to define. He dropped 3 critically acclaimed albums, became the best selling rapper ever, out rapped several icons on features, and destroyed the career of Ja Rule and the credibility of The Source magazine in two high profile feuds. And then.......
2004: VACANT - The belt is vacant this year because no one took it from Eminem he dropped it by putting out Encore, the most worthless piece of shit album ever made by a great musician, and then disappeared for 5 years to fight his addiction. He regained his form somewhat with Recovery and the MMLP2 but never the belt.
2005-09: Lil Wayne - What a fucking run. Tha Carter II is his best album and was a massive step up in quality for him and then he has his legendary mixtape run, Tha Carter III, and a million features. Then in 2010 he releases a shitty rock-rap album and goes to jail. He's regained some of his firm musically since then but never again wore the belt.
2010-11: Kanye West - MBDTF is his best album and then in 2011 he follows it up with Watch the Throne (with Jay Z) and is truly at his best. This is like the Bad Boy Pistons winning 2 titles while surrounded by absolute fucking dynasties (yes Eminem is obviously the 80s Celtics in this analogy)
2012-17: Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, m.A.A.d City was his major label debut and immediately it was clear this guy had next. He tests the limits of how often a rapper can drop while keeping the belt in this run with TPAB in 2015 and DAMN in 2017 but they're so fucking good he gets away with it, punctuated with winning a fucking Pulitzer for DAMN. Belt slips away because he doesn't drop for 5 years after DAMN.
2018-23: Drake - His creative peak was 2011-15 but Drake doesn't get the belt until 2018 when Kendrick disappears for 5 years. Full disclosure I'm not a fan of Drake's music but I can't argue with what he's done as a star. 2018 is a good starting point because that's the year of his first number 1 hit as a lead artist.
2024-Present: Kendrick Lamar - Kendrick grabbed the belt back in dominant fashion by demolishing Drake in their feud while also proving that he's capable of making music that can debut at number 1 when he wants to, he just only wants to when he's calling Drake a pedophile. We'll see where he goes from here, if we get his 6th album soon or if he goes back into hibernation.
I know this post is stupid long but I covered 42 years of music history lol. Let me know if you have any disagreements I know some of the biggest and best rappers ever didn't get their hands on the belt in my list but there can only be one at a time.
EDIT: I think people have convinced me through the volume of pushback that DMX rightfully won the belt in 1998 and that 50 Cent had it in 2003-04 with Get Rich or Die Tryin' but I'd still say Weezy grabbed it in 2005 bc The Massacre was not good ("You ain't get shot again yet so what's your second album about" - Jadakiss)

Oscar Wilson has been Night City’s greatest detective since 2010 but in 2014 he will attempt to solve a case that will break him. As a new serial killer emerges he will need to employ his strengths as a wolf.
‘Detective Wilson you will run out of time before you catch me!’ Is written on the museum wall in the victims blood. John Strath the museum’s night janitor was brutally murdered by a carnivore.
“Funny you’d think the domestication of feral animals would’ve prevented every hunting incident.” Officer Morales says to Oscar.
“I don’t see any bites.”
“Think he did it for fun?”
“Every serial killer does.”
“Yeah I guess. Anyways Johnson reported a missing camera come help me find it.”
“In a moment.”
“Oscar I know he’s threatened your family but you worry too much. It’s not like he’s going to do it immediately. Come on. It’ll keep your mind off of it.”
Oscar continues to stand over the body as morales walks away. Eventually he turns around and follows.
The two sit in front of the security camera screens rewinding the footage to when the camera was taken. They watch as the camera is placed down. They pay close attention. The security footage glitches for a second. When it stops, the camera is gone.
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah. What the fuck?”
“Who’s nearby. Maybe they snatched it.”
“That quick?”
“I think that’s Clawson. Ask him.”
Oscar leaves the room. He approaches a cheetah officer hanging outside waiting at the window.
“Clawson!”
“Oscar! Hey. Sorry about the threats. My wife’s a therapist if you want to see her about it.”
“I’m not here to talk about your wife. The security footage shows you nearby the spot Johnson’s Camera was taken.”
“And you think I took it? Listen I know the importance of not stealing from a crime scene. It’s been embedded in me for years and if I had it I would’ve immediately returned it.”
“You’re notorious for stealing.”
“Name one instance.”
“That donut on Friday was mine!”
“That’s food that’s different.”
“Still. How do we know you didn’t take it quickly enough that the Camera didn’t get seen on the footage?”
“I’m not that quick.”
“Clawson! Chief wants us on a car chase! Oscar, Morales, Johnson! Stay overtime! This case needs to be solved.”
“Will do.”
“Bye Oscar. Have fun looking for a camera.” Clawson says as he leaves.
“There is a notorious thief here.” Morales says. “Countless reports of missing items. All standardized police equipment. I’ve reviewed the footage it’s all the same thing. Glitch then gone.”
“No one would be able to steal this much from an active crime scene that isn’t a cop or invisible!”
“I know which is why this is crazy to me.”
“You don’t think it might be aliens?”
“Okay I didn’t know you were a conspiracy theorist as well Oscar.” Morales and Oscar look at each other. Morales is a beautiful black pantheress with silky smooth fur and emerald green eyes. Her wet pink nose is lined with long black whiskers.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” She catches Oscar zoning out.
“Oh sorry. Just didn’t notice how green your eyes are.”
“We’ve been working together how many years? Plus big green eyes were a decoration at my wedding in which you were invited if you didn’t remember.”
“Yeah sorry.”
“Would you two stop gawking over each other? We need to look for all the equipment!” Johnson says. He’s a Rhinoceros. His heavy footsteps shake the old west museum.
“Relax Johnson we are!”
Johnson scoffs as he gets on the ground to search below a counter.
“What’s the inventory count?”
“3 tasers, 6 Handcuffs, 2 Cameras, 1 Gun, 5 Flashlights.”
“All big enough items. How they’re lost is beyond me.”
“Same.”
The three spend hours searching but don’t find any clues or evidence.
Eventually they all go home.
Months go by and the killer doesn’t kill. Then more months. Faith in the case falls. But Oscar isn’t going to give up. Years go by. The Serial Killer just hasn’t killed anymore. The Museum is abandoned and the chief decided to close the case.
Night City 2016.
“Chief Garcia! You can’t consider calling this case a cold case! The killer is still out there!” Oscar yells at the chief in his office.
“Detective Wilson I understand your desire to solve this case. You believe your children are at risk but I assure you. It’s fine the trail is dead! This killer is no longer active! Solve it on your own terms but if you argue to open it up again diverting much needed resources elsewhere you’re fired. Got it?”
“Yes chief.”
“Good.”
Oscar enters his car and drives home. He enters his house and takes off his uniform.
“Daddy!” Oscar’s children rush to him hugging his legs. He leans down and picks them up.
“Oh Clint, Azalea I missed you two!” Oscar swings them around laughing and blowing raspberries. They laugh as Oscar twirls them around. Oscar stops and begins a howl. His kids join in. A fourth howl forms from the kitchen. Once the howl dies down Oscars wife exits the kitchen. A gorgeous she-wolf her gray pelt reflects the moonlight she wears sweats and a baggy shirt. She seems a little tired and worried as well.
“Oscar?”
“Oh sorry pups. Momma wants to talk to me.”
“Ok daddy!”
“Summer break right! Whoop whoop!” He cheers them.
“Oscar.”
“Rebecca honey?”
“I heard the news. Garcia faxed me.”
“Who still faxes?”
“My hospital.”
“Wow. Old fashioned much?”
“Babe.”
“What?”
“You need to re open that case. Find something out.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m concerned for our safety especially theirs!” Rebecca points at the kids. “It seems your chief doesn’t have them in mind. The case becoming cold will inspire the killer to strike again. And if it was his plan all along! Shit.”
“I’m doing what I can baby. Relax.”
“There was missing equipment at the scene right? Maybe going to find that will help.”
“I’ll go see.”
“I’ll go tell the kids you’ll be gone for a bit.” Oscar leans in for a kiss.
The museum.
Oscar pulls up and enters the building. As he walks through the entrance hallway he hears a thud.
“Who’s there?” He yells as he pulls out his taser getting in a defensive position. He walks through. He clears room after room till he gets to the main room. No people.
“Ahh fucking old floorboards. OWWWW!” Oscar steps on a nail. He panics this building has been abandoned since the murder 2 years ago this nail has to be rusted.
He winces as he leans down and pulls the nail out.
“Gahhh Fuck!” He screams. The nail is covered in his blood but it’s not rusted somehow.
“What the…” He notices a box of nails on the ground.
“This museum really kept its artifacts well kept huh. Even post abandonment. Heh.”
‘Marshall and Johnson’s Supplies est 1856. manufactured products in 1936.’
“Ok now that’s weird.” He says reading the label.
He walks up to a glass case. He places his taser down on a table and uses both hands to lift the glass case.
A loud swoosh is heard. He turns and notices his taser is taken in a diamond shaped rift. He panics.
Another rift appears. A gun drops through.
Oscar rushes and grabs it.
‘Nicholas Parker’s Luger Sweet Valentine.’
“Nicholas Parker? What? Isn’t that my Grandpas boss?” Oscar realizes the situation.

I thought I would give a quick trip report on a recent vacation to Cuba (May ’24) as I have not seen that much on here.
Itinerary:
I arrived in Habana and stayed for 2 nights. After I went to Viñales - I originally planned to stay for 2/3 nights but ended up staying there for the rest of my trip before flying home from Habana again.
More on that later.
Transport:
You can get around multiple ways in Cuba (it is quite a big country after all:
Train: There are multiple train routes, some reliable and some not
Plane: I was advised on taking any internal flights as they seem to be notoriously unreliable
Rental car: Great option for independent travel but very expensive. Think around 100+ Euros per day for a car. This does not include gas which can be very hard to come by.
Bus: The cheapest option by far but you need to have lots of time and flexibility.
Taxi: Expensive but a good option for independent travel
Shared Taxi: I would say one of the most common options for foreigners to get around. You share a car with others (max I have been were 9 people in an American car from the 50s. As an example: A trip from Habana to Viñales is 25Euro for a 2.5-4h ride depending on the circumstances. You might sit comfortable or not, you might have AC or not, you might break down in the middle of the trip or not.
Any form of local transport: You can always find someone to take you on their motorcycle, horse carriage etc. Will be quite cheap, probably not very comfortable but gets you from A to B for short distances.
I also hitchhiked with locals a few times which worked out great.
Accommodation:
Airbnb now works in Cuba but ONLY if you book from abroad. Inside of Cuba you can look at listings/prices but not book. Should work with a VPN though but I did not bother.
You have Hotels (51%+ owned by the government which you don’t want to support. You also have Casas Particulares (privately owned BnB style) which are affordable and they take care of you like their family as you are their responsibility. I paid around 15Euro per night for great rooms but if you book through Airbnb you can get it quite a bit cheaper.
Resorts I read are way more expensive but I am not interested in that so I can’t really say much about it. They also seem to be all government owned.
Food:
It was fine. Not amazing but not bad either. There are crazy food shortages (I saw some of the food cards from locals where they get assigned a certain amount of food each month and it is no where near enough to survive). But you can get Western food in lots of places where tourists frequent.
The amount of Fresh fruit is amazing, fresh pineapple, mango, watermelon, Guyaba, etc for breakfast each day is just incredible!
Prices:
I have already mentioned transport and accommodation prices. Food prices very A LOT.
My first night in Habana I paid 15 Euros for 2 (ok they were very good and HUGE) Tacos. I did not bother to look at the menu first/ask for the price and was obviously ripped of completely.
Later on I paid around the following prices:
Pasta: 2.5 Euros
Pizza: The same
Local Food (such as huge portions of rope vieja): Same, but can be had for 2 Euros.
Mojito (and other cocktails): One bar I frequented it was 58 cents when I arrived and 50 cents when I left.
Beer: 1-2 Euros
Bottle of 1.5L of water: Around 1Euro
Other things: I brought everything I needed so only bought a handmade hat which was around 5 Euros but heard tourists get charged up to 20. Speaking Spanish helps a lot.
Cigars: They can be quite expensive (around 10 Euro for a cigar that would cost 40 in Europe) so I did not buy any (I did not know they were that expensive as I never smoke cigars at hone). But just by buying a beer for random farmers at a village bar I got gifted plenty of cigars.
People:
Simply amazing. Maybe I was lucky by making friends on my third day there but I met so many local people there that were just incredible.
The more rural, the nicer the people seem to be. Habana is a hit and miss but I mostly met great people there as well although I heard that crime has picked up quite a bit. Personally I had 0 problems and Cuba has been of the the countries where I have felt safest in all my travels despite the hardship of many people.
This takes me to the next point: Due to befriending locals, I have been to quite a few smaller villages and houses of people that did not work in the tourism sector and it is very sad to see. They live in wooden shacks, often without electricity or running water and barely survive because of the lack of food.
Funny story: the president was visiting a neighbouring village one day and they painted lots of houses just so it looks like it’s going well before his arrival.
People are always friendly to everyone and only once you talk with them in private and for some time you start hearing how literally everyone hates the government and struggles on a daily basis.
This leads me to the last point which saddened me quite a bit: I saw quite a few relationships between amazing young cuban women and bitter, old white men (no matter if from the US, UK, Germany etc.). You could really feel that the guys were happy about having a hot, young woman to fu**, paying them a little bit of money each month and the women pretending to be happy but in reality just doing it for survival. I talked to a few women that were very reluctant to open up but in the end were quite clear they only do it for the money and do not actually love the fat, bald 70 year old white guy (who would’ve thought). Sex tourism is a very real thing there. This takes me to the next topic:
Money:
This is not easy but also not super complicated: The Tourism sector wants Euros or US dollars (sometimes CAD or Pounds is fine as well). The official exchange rate when I was there was 1/120. Meaning if you change at an official place OR pay by credit card anywhere. The unofficial exchange rate was 1/340 when I arrived and 1/400 when I left. I think it is self explanatory that you should not withdraw money but rather take enough cash and exchange on the go. Always change in the house you are staying at and don’t exchange too much at once as the exchange rate fluctuates A LOT.
Other than that: The cars are incredible: Driving around in a 70 year old American car or a 50 year old Lada is something you won’t be able to experience anymore in 99% of the world.
The nature is incredible!
When you travel through the country you often feel like you are in another century.
Oh and right now, electricity is a big problem. We had power cuts 50% of the day. And it is HOT and humid.
You need a travel health insurance to enter the country (although no one bothered to check upon arrival).
And just to finish with a great story: I was out and came back to my accommodation. A guy was struggling with his car since it ran out of gas. Me and my friend offered to help him push the car to his bosses place. Once we arrived we got talking with the boss and he invited us for a free dinner at his restaurant the next evening which had the most amazing sunset views I had seen in years. What I learned at that dinner: I you open a bottle of rum in Cuba you spill a bit for good luck.
I tried attaching some photos but it does not let me upload the file type it seems. If anyone is interested I will try and attach some photos in a comment. Hope this helps a little and I am of course open to answer any questions. This is of course by no means a full report but I hope I could shed some light on visiting Cuba. I am already planning on going back soon as I have made some incredible connections with the people there.

New season, new shakeup! As per usual, we get new moves added to new recipients, and some existing moves get tweaked. Unlike usual, we don't get any all-new moves, but on the plus side, we got all this teased over a week ahead of time, making ol' JRE quite happy. No last minute scramble to get through it all!
But even with a relatively simple move rabalance like this one, there's still plenty to cover. Nowhere will you find analysis that goes to these depths, covering the big names and some others you likely haven't even considered.
Let's do this, people!

(NEW) ATTACK ON TITAN 🌨️

There are several attack changes people are already talking about excitedly with this update, so naturally I'm going to start with... CETITAN? Hear me out, because I think this is one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) move addition in this whole rebalance.
"JRE, you're crazy, man. Ice types are a dime a dozen. What makes Cetitan so special?"
Well judging by my initial PvP review on Cetitan when it was released, not much. I noted it had decent overall bulk and was at least better than Avalugg (with the same Body Slam and Avalanche charge moves, but Cetitan having the better fast move with Ice Shard as opposed to Lugg's Ice Fang), and perhaps had some promise in Master League where Ice types have a lot of advantages anyway, particularly Premier where Legendary Ice types are left on the outside looking in. And now? Enter an even much better fast move than Ice Shard: Powder Snow, which beats all the same ML core meta stuff as Ice Shard plus Origin Giratina, Lugia, and Snorlax in 0shield, Altered Giratina, Swampert, and Gyarados in 1shield, Mewtwo and Reshiram in 2shield, and Xerneas and Zacian in both 1 and 2shield. And again, NO new losses... this is a straight upgrade, folks. In the rankings, Cetitan leapfrogs Avalugg, Walrein, Baxcalibur, and even lomg-time staple Mamoswine in the ratings (and in performance) to trail only Kyurem and Hisuian Avalugg among Ice types, and Cetitan can still do things not even those two can like beating Mewtwo, Excadrill, and Reshiram!
Cetitan does move into the upper ranks of Ice types in other Leagues as well, but there is just a lot of established and versatile competition to contend with like Walrein, Dewgong, Abomasnow, Alolan Sandslash, Arctibax, Aurorus, Froslass, Alolan Ninetales, and even old friends like Lapras. Those mostly all fall away in Master League, leaving the new and improved Cetitan to shoot up the charts more decisively. You'll start to see it all over now, particularly in Cups, but I do think Master League is where it will likely make its biggest mark for those with the means to build it up. It can even beat three out of four Necrozmas! (The Steely Dusk Mane fusion being the only exception, for rather obvious reasons.)
One other League to consider is Little Leaue, and CETODDLE, who gets the same moveset update and does good things with it. Stupid trash can lid Bronzor is still a huge issue, of course, as well as obvious Fires and Fighters and such. But this is easily now one of the best Ice types in Little League and should be a fixture of most Little formats from here on out.
Do I think these two are going to suddenly take over their respective Leagues? Probably not. But do they deserve a heck of a lot more usage, even in Open? Absolutely. There's a reason I chose to lead off with these two!

PUNCHING LIGHTS OUT ⚡

Thunder Punch is not exactly an electrifying move in PvP. Like the other Elemental Punches (Fire, Ice, Thunder), as well as other move clones (Aerial Ace and Stomp), it costs only 40 energy, but deals only 55 damage for a passable but unexciting 1.37 Damage Per Energy. Most things that use it (and there are several, such as Ampharos, Muk, Hypno, Pachirisu, and the Super Raichu Bros.) do so as a bait move, though as with any elemental move, the coverage alone can be nice too (for things like Muk and Hypno, at least). Still, often if it goes through unshielded, that's a loss for the user, as they typically want to bait a shield with it leading up to a big closer like Dark Pulse (Muk), Shadow Ball (Hypno), or Wild Charge (Raichus).
And honestly, that mostly remains Thunder Punch's role for the things now recieving it:

• The Pawmot family all get it now. I suppose PAWMO may appreciate it the most as its first move under 45 energy, but it remains a poor overall option. Big bro PAWMOT can use it, I suppose, alongside Close Combat or Wild Charge rather than running both as it typically does now, giving it not only better bait potential but also moves it away from TWO big self-debuffing moves at once. Indeed, it would seem Thunder Punch/Close Combat is a fine sidegrade or even upgrade to Close Combat/Wild Charge, dropping Azumarill but picking up things like Mantine, Talonflame, and Carbink, which are all quite nice. However, it remains far south of a 50% winrate and thus on the fringe even in most Limited/Cup metas. This addition is appreciated, but doesn't really change much. And keep in mind that their fast move, Spark, is getting a nerf... but more on that later.
  
• CHESNAUGHT is an odd one here. Obviously it already has Waters covered with its Grass moves, so the most obvious thing Thunder Punch does is give it a little more teeth against Flyers. As with Pawmot, Chesnaught tends to run with a self-debuffing Fighting move for coverage, in this case Superpower. And honestly, I think that's what it will usually prefer to keep on doing, though Thunder Punch IS a decent overall sidegrade on paper in Great League, dropping stuff like Guzzlord and Shadow Dragonair to instead gain Annihilape and Pelipper. Hmmm... that's actually not too shabby. 🤔 I think I can confidentally say to stick with Superpower in Ultra League, though... without it, you drop stuff like Registeel, Alolan Sandslash, Cobalion, and Guzzlord, which is no beuno.
  
• Another Fighter that gets some anti-air coverage wth Thunder Punch now is LUCARIO. The last elemental move Niantic gave it was Blaze Kick, which has popped up here and there (and given it some new potential wins like Venusaur), but generally it seems to usually still run best with Power-Up Punch (and typically Shadow Ball) instead. Usually. I do see a bit more potential this time around. In Great League, Fire Punch generally performs worse than PuP, but Thunder Punch seems like more of a straight sidegrade, trading away Cresselia to instead pretty reliably take out Carbink. And in Ultra League, Thunder Punch (running alongside Shadow Ball) does still generally lose to Trevenant in a foot race (PuP's lower cost is critical there), but gains Mandibuzz and Tentacruel in exchange, as well as scaring Flyers into potentially burning more shields too. Luc's Counter damage is already beating up Steels that you'd want Fire for, leaving Thunder Punch and Counter with less overlap. PuP Lucario isn't going anywhere, but I DO like Thunder a bit more as an alternative than Fire. We'll see if that ends up truly mattering.
  
• Third time's the charm? Our third and final Fighter getting Thunder Punch now is the most intriguing. SCRAFTY, like Lucario, has long run effectively with Power-Up Punch leading to an eventual Foul Play to close things out. That's been at least Cup-worthy in Great League, and at least borderline meta in Ultra League especially. In Great League, Thunder Punch is at least a decent sidegrade to PuP, sometimes dropping the Shadow versions of Dragonair and Victreebel, but gaining Mandibuzz and Pelipper, two pretty impactful pickups. But it is in Ultra League where Thunder Punch becomes more impactful, bringing in new wins like Golisopod, Alolan Muk, and Gyarados, as opposed to the single new loss to Cobalion that you can get with PuP instead. And Thunder Punch is more of a straight upgrade in other even shield matchups, gaining Tentacruel in 2v2 shielding and Poliwrath, Mandibuzz, and Gyarados with shields down, all with NO PuP wins slipping away. I think this just makes Scrafty better in Ultra and will be the favored move alongside Foul Play moving forward. Neat!
  
• But I think the single biggest winner of the Thunder Punch sweepstakes has to be TYPHLOSION. There are a couple reasons for this that make perfect sense even without looking at sims. First off, Typhlosion's biggest issue since the beginning has been having no charge moves costing less than 50 energy. This means that three Incinerates (or at least seven Shadow Claws) have always been required before Typhlosion could even threaten shields. Thunder Punch changes that math significantly, as only two Incinerates (or five Shadow Claws) are required to hit exactly the 40 energy Thunder Punch requires. That is significant! But the coverage is also fanatastic to hit back at Water types, which Typhlosion always kinda wanted to do with Solar Beam, though that costs FOUR Incinerates to charge up, making it a Hail Mary at best. The end result? Thunder Punch is nearly a straight upgrade. Without any shields in play, Solar Beam CAN manage to shock and awe its way to wins over things like Azumarill and Lickitung in Great League, and Jellicent in Ultra League. But otherwise everything comes up in Thunder Punch's favor, with its own 0shield wins like Charizard in UL and Talonflame, Mantine, Pelipper, and Shadow A-Slash in GL. And Thunder Punch is strictly better in 1v1 shielding by adding Mandibuzz and Mantine in GL and Gyarados and Talonflame in UL, and a TON of new wins in 2v2 shielding like Feraligatr, Mantine, Talonflame, Lickitung, Sableye, Cresselia, and sometimes even Galarian Stunfisk in GL, and Charizard, Toxicroak, Obstagoon, Alolan Muk, Jellicent, Annihilape, Golisopod, Gyarados, Tentacruel, Walrein, Mandibuzz and more in UL! Big big BIG improvements in the horizon for Typhlosion that elevates it to the same tier as Talonflame, Chairzard, and Skeledirge in both Great and Ultra Leagues moving forward. And that's not to even mention the potential of Shadow Typhlosion.... 😱
  

🎼 COME FLY WITH ME, LET'S FLY AWAY! 🦅

Fly is one of the best moves in the entire game: 45 energy for 80 damage, with no drawbacks at all. That's what Sky Attack was from 2018 to 2021, back when it was terrifying in PvP, before dropping to 75 power and eventually going to 50 energy too last year. (What did Sky Attack ever do to you, Hanke?! 😢) But now, in keeping with the seeming skyward theme of the season, old school Sky Attack is being handed out to several new recipients that... uh... could use some help. Is it enough?

• Oh, how long I've wanted FEAROW to work in PvP. Its had its chances, with Drill Run and Steel Wing only getting better over time, and even the nerfs to Sky Attack being mitigated by the long overdue buff to Aerial Ace. And now it gets old-school Sky Attack with the addition of Fly... and it STILL can't break out. Come on, Niantic.. just give it Wing Attack already, will ya? Or at least Quick Attack, maybe? Set my drill running bird free!
  
• SWANNA remains the ugly duckling of Flying Water types. While Mantine and Pelipper and even Gyarados lord over their respective Leagues, and even Swanna's pre-evolution Ducklett remains a tippy top option in Little League, poor Swanna remains consistently ranked outside the top 400, ranked below even Mantyke in Great League... even after getting Fly! It remains trapped behind lackluster fast moves, and until that changes, it remains irrelevant. Let Swanna really soar, Niantic!
  
• The one everyone is talking about is SALAMENCE, particularly in Master League where it has always seemed right on the cusp of potential greatness, with pretty good overall stats and decent enough Dragon moves (Dragon Tail, Draco Meteor, and Outrage as a Legacy move), but no good second charge move. Now it gets Fly, and while it IS much improved, I just don't think it's enough. Not nearly. Not even in Premier. Just too many other Dragons with better tricks up their sleeves. If you're doggedly insistent, I guess you can try again with it now, but I don't see Sal finding sudden success after this, sorry. Give it Dragon Claw or something and THEN we can talk.
  
• So surprisingly, it is humble SWOOBAT that we're left talking about as perhaps the most impactful new Fly user. Though obviously we're not talking Master League anymore, no no. This is a Great League 'mon, and one that's already a little spicy since first getting Psychic Fangs and then the eventual buff to Aerial Ace. But it was left without reasonably priced closing power, with Psychic (the move) just not being worth it as the attempts to nerf Medicham drug Psychic (the move!) into the depths, and Future Sight is just way too expensive with Confusion's average energy gains. So now here comes Fly, and you know what? I like the result! This is no sudden new Open play revelation or anything, but potential spice in the right Cup? I can absolutely see it. Fly grants new wins against GOOD names like Altaria and Gligar in 1shield, and Pelipper, Vigoroth, and the Shadow versions of Gligar, Swampert, and CharmTales in 0shield. There's some real potential here now, more than ever before. Not every improvement has to rock PvP... just some nice new twists like this can be plenty fun. Now we just need Gust for the lulz.
  

NIFTY OR... SWIFTIE? ‍💨

Apologies to the fans of the future Mrs. Travis Kelce (if you know, you know)....
Anyway, long-terrible Normal charge move Swift is finally getting a buff. I think so, at least. Niantic is actually lowing its power from 60 damage to 55, but they are also lowering its cost. How much? That's the part we don't know yet, but PvPoke has speculated it will drop from 55 energy all the way down to 40, and while that's probably the best case scenario, we're gonna roll with it for the purposes of this analysis. If that holds true, the resulting 55 damage/40 every should look quite familiar... it's the same stats as Thunder Punch. And as we talked about earlier, that's usually better for baiting than anything, but it's passable and certainly FAR better than the 60 damage/55 energy it was previously.
Does anything that now gets it (or already has it) actually want to use it, though?

• The first new recipients worth mentioning are the WIGGLYTUFF family, as they are all part Normal-type and thus get STAB damage with Swift too. Eh, maybe? These sims will likely break when the new season goes live, but what the heck, I'll show them anyway. I think out of the two charge moves Wiggly uses now — Icy Wind and Disarming Voice — it is Voice that is the one to potentially drop, as Charm already deals plenty of Fairy-type damage, and Icy Wind not only provides coverage but also obviously extends Wiggly's life by debuffing the opponent's Attack. So assuming you run Icy Wind/Swift, we'll call that a sidegrade to Wind/Voice. "But JRE, it got worse!" Yes, in 1shield it seems to, dropping Dewgong, but you actually win if you go with Icy Wind first, and then closing it out with Swift, just as you can win going Icy Wind and then DIsarming Voice after. Similarly, there are no big differences in 2v2 shielding, but in 0v0 shield, we have a true sidegrade situation, with Swift outracing Pelipper and Shadow CharmTales, and Disarming Voice instead overpowering Gligar and forcing at least a tie a tie with enemy Wigglytuffs. So pure sidegrade, basically. Not a GREAT sign considering that, again, this is the only Charmer that gets STAB with Swift. And while JIGGLYPUFF* and especially IGGLYBUFF have some play in Little League, they are still worlds better with (Legacy) Body Slam rather than Swift. Moving on....
  
• CLEFABLE has a few edge cases where Swift can help, but overall just trust me when I tell you that (at least when running Fairy Wind as the fast move), Meteor Mash and Moonblast are just much. much better. Most all of the advantages for Swift show up in 2v2 shielding, and only in Great League...things like Swampert, Pelipper, and Gligar. But exisiting moves are just better otherwise, including up and down Ultra League. There's really no reason to linger here, so... next!
  
• The only other new recipients are the TEDDIURSA/URSARING/URSALUNA family. I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think Ursaluna wants it at all. Ice Punch has the same stats as what we're guessing Swift will, and the coverage it provides is massive, especially in Master League were it sees the most play today (with wins over things like Garchomp, Yveltal, and perhaps most critically, Zygarde Complete). Teddiursa seems interesting until you remember that it already has Cross Chop and Crunch, which have more impact than super-effective-versus-nothing Swift... STAB alone isn't really enough. The one that MAY want it is Ursaring. You likely would want to run it alongside Close Combat (in place of PLay Rough), which can then add on Dewgong and Guzzlord in Great League, at the cost of giving up Lanturn and Sableye. In Ultra League, it can add on Guzzlord and Swampert and gives up only Alolan Muk. But honestly, Ursaring remains just bad in both Leagues. And again, this is with likely best-case-scenario Swift. Blech.
  
• Pokémon that already have Swift (and any real potential in PvP) are basically just a list of two. HISUIAN ELECTRODE may actually want it, as it obviously wants to always run Wild Charge (45 energy) but awkwardly has to often try to bait a shield first with MORE expensive Energy Ball (55 energy). Swift COULD fix that by greatly speeding things up, as it costs less than Wild Charge at only 40 energy. But I still think that will be better in theory (and perhaps in Electric Cup, should that return) than in actual practice. Energy Ball is still quite useful for coverage and non-Wild Charge closing power, needing it to beat things like Whiscash and Swampert across various shileding scenarios. Swift does have some advantages in 2v2 shielding for rather obvious reasons, but that's about it.
  
• MUCH more interesting is UXIE. By far the bulkiest of the Lake Trio Legendaries — and in fact, the second bulkiest Confusion user in the game, behind only Cresselia — its problem has always been that all of its charge moves costed 55 energy or more... and with Swift being so bad before, it still usually ran with 60 energy (Thunder) and 65-energy (Future Sight) charge moves. And despite on-paper great potential... well, it was certainly no Cresselia! (And that goes for Ultra League too.) But now it gets the inexpensive move it's been waiting for, with new and improved Swift elevating its performance significantly in Great League (new wins include Altaria, Gligar, Swampert, Whiscash, Alolan Ninetales, Shadow Dragonair) and in Ultra League (new wins like DDeoxys, Pidgeot, Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Ampharos, Shadow Dragonite, AND Shadow CharmTales). Not sure that this will lead to a sudden breakout in PvP, but at the very least, it's suddenly spicy.
  

So no big ripples, but hey, Swift is at least not a meme move anymore. And Uxie really likes it now, at least! Let's shake it off 😉 and move along to the last couple move tweaks....

NO GO ADELE 🐉

Sticking with the theme of famous singers... Hello from the other side! 🙃
Okay, sorry sorry. NAGANADEL gets Dragon Claw now. Yay? Sadly this does very, very little for it in PvP, picking up just a single win over Yveltal, of all things, in 1v1 shielding, and no real changes elsewhere. At least this section is easy on me (musical lyric joke counter: 2) and we can move on to the next now.

PATIENCE, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER 🦗

If you don't get the reference, it's from a famous show from the 70s (yes, the 1970s, you youngins) called "Kung Fu". It's a famous show and a famous phrase that you should know. No, I don't just know it because I'm old, it's famous!
...get off my lawn.
Anyway, Counter remains the best fast overall move in the game, so any time something new gets it, that is reason enough to sit up and notice. Even when that recipient is a current Pokémona non grata like LOKIX.
Look, it's very glassy and will likely never be more than spice. This is unlikely to really shake up any meta in a major way. But yes, Lokix is significantly better than before now that it has Counter. It does unfortunately drop Cresselia, but can now outslug stuff like Lickitung, Dewgong, Guzzlord, Vigoroth, Galarian Stunfisk, and even Skarmory and Bastiodon despite how scary those two normally are for Bugs. It sees similar improvement in Ultra League, dropping Fighting-resistent Venusaur and Golisopod but gaining Registeel, Steelix, Alolan Sandslash, Swampert, Walrein, and Greedent, but uh... it has to be leveled up to at least Level 46, and is still a poor option overall. Not worth it, IMO. But keep an eye on it, as the addtion of another impactful charge move could elevate it further. Counter users are ALWAYS worth at least some consideration.

(RE-) PLANTING A SEED 🌱

We all know why Seed Bomb was nerfed from its original 40 to 45 energy: it was felt that something had to be done about TREVENANT, by far the most impactful Seed Bomb user. Yes yes, it got a small damage bump as well (from 55 to 60 damage), but the (completely intended) damage was done, and Trevenant usage dropped quite a bit. The hit wasn't TOO bad, but it was enough.
Now Trevor gets a boost again, with the cost remaining the same but the damage creeping up to 65 now, elevating it from a clone of Wrap (and a slew of stat-altering moves like Icy Wind, Mystical Fire, Lunge, the Forces Of Nature unique Storm moves, and others... but Seed Bomb of course HAS no stat altering and was thus far worse) to a clone of Discharge. Not amazing — a reduction in cost to what it once way would REALLY make a difference — but certainly more palpable.
In the end, it's a small buff to Trevenant — with only a couple new wins like Shadow Dragonair in 1shield and Azumarill in 2shield in Great League, and Feraligatr and Greninja in 1shield and Tentacruel in 2shield in Ultra League — but we'll take it! Those UL wins especially are pretty nice.
Not many other notable Seed Bomb users, but here's what I see: WHIMSICOTT (with Fairy Wind) can now beat Galarian Stunfisk and Azumarill with shields down (in Great League), so that's a small but welcome improvement. Aaaaaaand that's about it. No big changes I see with Little League COTTONEE or BULBASAUR or Little or Great League DARTRIX, and then you're into things like CELEBI. Yeah, this is first and almost entirely centered on Trevenant.

SNUFFING OUT SPARK 🔌

Just as Seed Bomb changes are directly intended to affect one meta Pokémon, so too is the story with the nerf to Spark dropping from 6 damage to 5: this is directly intended to nerf LANTURN. There used to be other meta things that ran Spark because they had to, but they've all gotten other tricks since then that are now preferred (Volt Switch for Magnezone and family, Volt Switch for Charjabug, etc.). Yes, some others like LUXRAY and PROBOPASS remain as collateral damage, but those are just occasional spice considerations. No, the only truly meta change here is to Lanturn, as intended.
But how bad is it? Overall, it's not TOO significant. Lanturn now loses to Registeel in 1v1 shielding (and not surprisingly gets a bit less dominant versus other things like Azumarill and Mandibuzz), Medicham and Charjabug in 0shield, and Altaria and Annihilape in 2shield. Those ARE some big names, but where you primarily wanted it before, it still works, albeit sometimes with a little less left in the tank at the end. Farming things down obviously gets harder! It drops from formerly ranking #12 in Great League 20 spots to now #32 (at the time of this writing), but still... a Top 30ish option is still a really good PvP Pokémon.
...oh, but uh, there's a caveat: it's now ranked at #32 with Water Gun, while Spark Lanturn has dropped all the way down to #66. That may be a little harsh, but does make sense. Ironically, the rating with Water Gun goes UP from #35 to now #32. I don't knwo that I'm quite ready to say that Water Gun Lanturn is now the clear favorite over Spark Lanturn, but they're now both moving into "sidegrade" territory for sure, with Spark still being best for things like Mandibuzz, Poliwrath, and Sableye, but Water Gun carving out wins against Galarian Stunfisk, Shadow Gilgar, Carbink... and the Registeel that Spark now loses to. Water Gun is also far better now [with shields down], beating things that Spark cannot like G-Fisk, Shadow Gligar, and Carbink again, along with Charjabug and Shadow A-Slash, while the only unique win Spark holds onto is Dewgong. Interestingly, Water Gun Lanturn can also now win the head to head with Spark Lanturn in 2v2 shielding. Spark and Water Gun now deal the same damage per turn, so Water Gun's shorter cooldown wins the day.
Again, I do not think Lanturn is going to suddenly disappear from Open formats or even PvP in-person tournaments. But I DO think its use is going to go down as it slips back a tier or two in the meta. I mean, it almost HAS to. And yes, I do think Water Gun variants are going to be far more common now. Again, you almost HAVE to move that direction now, at least for certain team compositions. We'll see how bad it gets soon enough.

A SEARING REVIEW

Speaking of getting bad, a brief mention for the other notable nerf with this update: Scald. It retains its nice cost to damage ratio of 1.7 Damage Per Energy (50 energy for 85 damage), but the chance for it to lower the target's Attack is going to drop. We don't know how much, but considering it currently sits at 50%, something like 30% seems a resonable expectation, and that's what PvPoke has put up speculatively as well. I'm NOT going to turn to simulations here, as moves with a percentage change of triggers are notoriously difficult to portray that way, to the point of almost being deceptive to even try. But I hardly think this marks the death of intended targets like WHISCASH or POLIWRATH unless, perhaps, the percentage change completely craters at like 20% or below. It's still good damage output and still a great STAB move for each of them. The rankings show Shadow Whiscash only dropping from #23 to #27 (though non-Shadow does take more of a hit, from a former #27 to now #42) and Poliwrath sees only a very small dip as well (#31 → #34 for Shadow and #46 → #48 for non-Shadow in Great League, and basically no change in Ultra League {non-Shadow drops only spot from #5 to #6, and Shadow actually rises from #10 to #9 thanks to other meta shifts}). Yes, this will hurt those who have fallen in love with those two, and surely there will be a slight dip in tournament play. But I don't think this is nearly the death knell some are making it out to be.
I DO think this may convince me to give up my Bubble LUDICOLO I've been running in GL of late, though. Scald triggering was the difference between life and death against some things like Gilgar. And other slightly-less-meta things like TENTACRUEL may suffer a little bit as well, but again, the change isn't all that bad. (Tentacthulhu, for example, usually counts on Acid Spray for debuffing hijinks anyway and saves Scald as a closer... it's less reliant on the debuffing it can sometimes provide.)

IN SUMMATION

And that's it! Barring any last minute surprises by Niantic (ALWAYS a possibility), there's your review of all changes coming with the Shared Skies Season. As a quick reminder so people don't panic, keep in mind that while the new season starts on the 1st as per usual, the move updates will not go live until June 3rd, as a nice gesture to not disrupt the planned PJCS and Bologna tournaments that weekend.
By way of quick summary of the above (here's your TL;DR, folks!):
The biggest winners I see in this update are (in rough order) CETITAN (maybe CETODDLE?) with Powder Snow, TYPHLOSION with Thunder Punch, UXIE with Swift, SWOOBAT with Fly, SCRAFTY with Thunder Punch, LOKIX with Counter, TREVENANT with buffed Seed Bomb, and then maybe SALAMENCE (Fly) and WHIMSICOTT (Seed Bomb). Other than Cetitan and Typhlosion, I don't know that any of them move drastically up the ranks, but they're all better with this update and bear watching as spice options at the very least.
Alrighty, that's it for now. Back to analysis on the Necrozma Fusions (already in progress) and beyond! Until then, you can always find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck as we move into the new season, and catch you next time!

New season, new shakeup! As per usual, we get new moves added to new recipients, and some existing moves get tweaked. Unlike usual, we don't get any all-new moves, but on the plus side, we got all this teased over a week ahead of time, making ol' JRE quite happy. No last minute scramble to get through it all!
But even with a relatively simple move rabalance like this one, there's still plenty to cover. Nowhere will you find analysis that goes to these depths, covering the big names and some others you likely haven't even considered.
Let's do this, people!

(NEW) ATTACK ON TITAN 🌨️

There are several attack changes people are already talking about excitedly with this update, so naturally I'm going to start with... CETITAN? Hear me out, because I think this is one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) move addition in this whole rebalance.
"JRE, you're crazy, man. Ice types are a dime a dozen. What makes Cetitan so special?"
Well judging by my initial PvP review on Cetitan when it was released, not much. I noted it had decent overall bulk and was at least better than Avalugg (with the same Body Slam and Avalanche charge moves, but Cetitan having the better fast move with Ice Shard as opposed to Lugg's Ice Fang), and perhaps had some promise in Master League where Ice types have a lot of advantages anyway, particularly Premier where Legendary Ice types are left on the outside looking in. And now? Enter an even much better fast move than Ice Shard: Powder Snow, which beats all the same ML core meta stuff as Ice Shard plus Origin Giratina, Lugia, and Snorlax in 0shield, Altered Giratina, Swampert, and Gyarados in 1shield, Mewtwo and Reshiram in 2shield, and Xerneas and Zacian in both 1 and 2shield. And again, NO new losses... this is a straight upgrade, folks. In the rankings, Cetitan leapfrogs Avalugg, Walrein, Baxcalibur, and even lomg-time staple Mamoswine in the ratings (and in performance) to trail only Kyurem and Hisuian Avalugg among Ice types, and Cetitan can still do things not even those two can like beating Mewtwo, Excadrill, and Reshiram!
Cetitan does move into the upper ranks of Ice types in other Leagues as well, but there is just a lot of established and versatile competition to contend with like Walrein, Dewgong, Abomasnow, Alolan Sandslash, Arctibax, Aurorus, Froslass, Alolan Ninetales, and even old friends like Lapras. Those mostly all fall away in Master League, leaving the new and improved Cetitan to shoot up the charts more decisively. You'll start to see it all over now, particularly in Cups, but I do think Master League is where it will likely make its biggest mark for those with the means to build it up. It can even beat three out of four Necrozmas! (The Steely Dusk Mane fusion being the only exception, for rather obvious reasons.)
One other League to consider is Little Leaue, and CETODDLE, who gets the same moveset update and does good things with it. Stupid trash can lid Bronzor is still a huge issue, of course, as well as obvious Fires and Fighters and such. But this is easily now one of the best Ice types in Little League and should be a fixture of most Little formats from here on out.
Do I think these two are going to suddenly take over their respective Leagues? Probably not. But do they deserve a heck of a lot more usage, even in Open? Absolutely. There's a reason I chose to lead off with these two!

PUNCHING LIGHTS OUT ⚡

Thunder Punch is not exactly an electrifying move in PvP. Like the other Elemental Punches (Fire, Ice, Thunder), as well as other move clones (Aerial Ace and Stomp), it costs only 40 energy, but deals only 55 damage for a passable but unexciting 1.37 Damage Per Energy. Most things that use it (and there are several, such as Ampharos, Muk, Hypno, Pachirisu, and the Super Raichu Bros.) do so as a bait move, though as with any elemental move, the coverage alone can be nice too (for things like Muk and Hypno, at least). Still, often if it goes through unshielded, that's a loss for the user, as they typically want to bait a shield with it leading up to a big closer like Dark Pulse (Muk), Shadow Ball (Hypno), or Wild Charge (Raichus).
And honestly, that mostly remains Thunder Punch's role for the things now recieving it:

• The Pawmot family all get it now. I suppose PAWMO may appreciate it the most as its first move under 45 energy, but it remains a poor overall option. Big bro PAWMOT can use it, I suppose, alongside Close Combat or Wild Charge rather than running both as it typically does now, giving it not only better bait potential but also moves it away from TWO big self-debuffing moves at once. Indeed, it would seem Thunder Punch/Close Combat is a fine sidegrade or even upgrade to Close Combat/Wild Charge, dropping Azumarill but picking up things like Mantine, Talonflame, and Carbink, which are all quite nice. However, it remains far south of a 50% winrate and thus on the fringe even in most Limited/Cup metas. This addition is appreciated, but doesn't really change much. And keep in mind that their fast move, Spark, is getting a nerf... but more on that later.
  
• CHESNAUGHT is an odd one here. Obviously it already has Waters covered with its Grass moves, so the most obvious thing Thunder Punch does is give it a little more teeth against Flyers. As with Pawmot, Chesnaught tends to run with a self-debuffing Fighting move for coverage, in this case Superpower. And honestly, I think that's what it will usually prefer to keep on doing, though Thunder Punch IS a decent overall sidegrade on paper in Great League, dropping stuff like Guzzlord and Shadow Dragonair to instead gain Annihilape and Pelipper. Hmmm... that's actually not too shabby. 🤔 I think I can confidentally say to stick with Superpower in Ultra League, though... without it, you drop stuff like Registeel, Alolan Sandslash, Cobalion, and Guzzlord, which is no beuno.
  
• Another Fighter that gets some anti-air coverage wth Thunder Punch now is LUCARIO. The last elemental move Niantic gave it was Blaze Kick, which has popped up here and there (and given it some new potential wins like Venusaur), but generally it seems to usually still run best with Power-Up Punch (and typically Shadow Ball) instead. Usually. I do see a bit more potential this time around. In Great League, Fire Punch generally performs worse than PuP, but Thunder Punch seems like more of a straight sidegrade, trading away Cresselia to instead pretty reliably take out Carbink. And in Ultra League, Thunder Punch (running alongside Shadow Ball) does still generally lose to Trevenant in a foot race (PuP's lower cost is critical there), but gains Mandibuzz and Tentacruel in exchange, as well as scaring Flyers into potentially burning more shields too. Luc's Counter damage is already beating up Steels that you'd want Fire for, leaving Thunder Punch and Counter with less overlap. PuP Lucario isn't going anywhere, but I DO like Thunder a bit more as an alternative than Fire. We'll see if that ends up truly mattering.
  
• Third time's the charm? Our third and final Fighter getting Thunder Punch now is the most intriguing. SCRAFTY, like Lucario, has long run effectively with Power-Up Punch leading to an eventual Foul Play to close things out. That's been at least Cup-worthy in Great League, and at least borderline meta in Ultra League especially. In Great League, Thunder Punch is at least a decent sidegrade to PuP, sometimes dropping the Shadow versions of Dragonair and Victreebel, but gaining Mandibuzz and Pelipper, two pretty impactful pickups. But it is in Ultra League where Thunder Punch becomes more impactful, bringing in new wins like Golisopod, Alolan Muk, and Gyarados, as opposed to the single new loss to Cobalion that you can get with PuP instead. And Thunder Punch is more of a straight upgrade in other even shield matchups, gaining Tentacruel in 2v2 shielding and Poliwrath, Mandibuzz, and Gyarados with shields down, all with NO PuP wins slipping away. I think this just makes Scrafty better in Ultra and will be the favored move alongside Foul Play moving forward. Neat!
  
• But I think the single biggest winner of the Thunder Punch sweepstakes has to be TYPHLOSION. There are a couple reasons for this that make perfect sense even without looking at sims. First off, Typhlosion's biggest issue since the beginning has been having no charge moves costing less than 50 energy. This means that three Incinerates (or at least seven Shadow Claws) have always been required before Typhlosion could even threaten shields. Thunder Punch changes that math significantly, as only two Incinerates (or five Shadow Claws) are required to hit exactly the 40 energy Thunder Punch requires. That is significant! But the coverage is also fanatastic to hit back at Water types, which Typhlosion always kinda wanted to do with Solar Beam, though that costs FOUR Incinerates to charge up, making it a Hail Mary at best. The end result? Thunder Punch is nearly a straight upgrade. Without any shields in play, Solar Beam CAN manage to shock and awe its way to wins over things like Azumarill and Lickitung in Great League, and Jellicent in Ultra League. But otherwise everything comes up in Thunder Punch's favor, with its own 0shield wins like Charizard in UL and Talonflame, Mantine, Pelipper, and Shadow A-Slash in GL. And Thunder Punch is strictly better in 1v1 shielding by adding Mandibuzz and Mantine in GL and Gyarados and Talonflame in UL, and a TON of new wins in 2v2 shielding like Feraligatr, Mantine, Talonflame, Lickitung, Sableye, Cresselia, and sometimes even Galarian Stunfisk in GL, and Charizard, Toxicroak, Obstagoon, Alolan Muk, Jellicent, Annihilape, Golisopod, Gyarados, Tentacruel, Walrein, Mandibuzz and more in UL! Big big BIG improvements in the horizon for Typhlosion that elevates it to the same tier as Talonflame, Chairzard, and Skeledirge in both Great and Ultra Leagues moving forward. And that's not to even mention the potential of Shadow Typhlosion.... 😱
  

🎼 COME FLY WITH ME, LET'S FLY AWAY! 🦅

Fly is one of the best moves in the entire game: 45 energy for 80 damage, with no drawbacks at all. That's what Sky Attack was from 2018 to 2021, back when it was terrifying in PvP, before dropping to 75 power and eventually going to 50 energy too last year. (What did Sky Attack ever do to you, Hanke?! 😢) But now, in keeping with the seeming skyward theme of the season, old school Sky Attack is being handed out to several new recipients that... uh... could use some help. Is it enough?

• Oh, how long I've wanted FEAROW to work in PvP. Its had its chances, with Drill Run and Steel Wing only getting better over time, and even the nerfs to Sky Attack being mitigated by the long overdue buff to Aerial Ace. And now it gets old-school Sky Attack with the addition of Fly... and it STILL can't break out. Come on, Niantic.. just give it Wing Attack already, will ya? Or at least Quick Attack, maybe? Set my drill running bird free!
  
• SWANNA remains the ugly duckling of Flying Water types. While Mantine and Pelipper and even Gyarados lord over their respective Leagues, and even Swanna's pre-evolution Ducklett remains a tippy top option in Little League, poor Swanna remains consistently ranked outside the top 400, ranked below even Mantyke in Great League... even after getting Fly! It remains trapped behind lackluster fast moves, and until that changes, it remains irrelevant. Let Swanna really soar, Niantic!
  
• The one everyone is talking about is SALAMENCE, particularly in Master League where it has always seemed right on the cusp of potential greatness, with pretty good overall stats and decent enough Dragon moves (Dragon Tail, Draco Meteor, and Outrage as a Legacy move), but no good second charge move. Now it gets Fly, and while it IS much improved, I just don't think it's enough. Not nearly. Not even in Premier. Just too many other Dragons with better tricks up their sleeves. If you're doggedly insistent, I guess you can try again with it now, but I don't see Sal finding sudden success after this, sorry. Give it Dragon Claw or something and THEN we can talk.
  
• So surprisingly, it is humble SWOOBAT that we're left talking about as perhaps the most impactful new Fly user. Though obviously we're not talking Master League anymore, no no. This is a Great League 'mon, and one that's already a little spicy since first getting Psychic Fangs and then the eventual buff to Aerial Ace. But it was left without reasonably priced closing power, with Psychic (the move) just not being worth it as the attempts to nerf Medicham drug Psychic (the move!) into the depths, and Future Sight is just way too expensive with Confusion's average energy gains. So now here comes Fly, and you know what? I like the result! This is no sudden new Open play revelation or anything, but potential spice in the right Cup? I can absolutely see it. Fly grants new wins against GOOD names like Altaria and Gligar in 1shield, and Pelipper, Vigoroth, and the Shadow versions of Gligar, Swampert, and CharmTales in 0shield. There's some real potential here now, more than ever before. Not every improvement has to rock PvP... just some nice new twists like this can be plenty fun. Now we just need Gust for the lulz.
  

NIFTY OR... SWIFTIE? ‍💨

Apologies to the fans of the future Mrs. Travis Kelce (if you know, you know)....
Anyway, long-terrible Normal charge move Swift is finally getting a buff. I think so, at least. Niantic is actually lowing its power from 60 damage to 55, but they are also lowering its cost. How much? That's the part we don't know yet, but PvPoke has speculated it will drop from 55 energy all the way down to 40, and while that's probably the best case scenario, we're gonna roll with it for the purposes of this analysis. If that holds true, the resulting 55 damage/40 every should look quite familiar... it's the same stats as Thunder Punch. And as we talked about earlier, that's usually better for baiting than anything, but it's passable and certainly FAR better than the 60 damage/55 energy it was previously.
Does anything that now gets it (or already has it) actually want to use it, though?

• The first new recipients worth mentioning are the WIGGLYTUFF family, as they are all part Normal-type and thus get STAB damage with Swift too. Eh, maybe? These sims will likely break when the new season goes live, but what the heck, I'll show them anyway. I think out of the two charge moves Wiggly uses now — Icy Wind and Disarming Voice — it is Voice that is the one to potentially drop, as Charm already deals plenty of Fairy-type damage, and Icy Wind not only provides coverage but also obviously extends Wiggly's life by debuffing the opponent's Attack. So assuming you run Icy Wind/Swift, we'll call that a sidegrade to Wind/Voice. "But JRE, it got worse!" Yes, in 1shield it seems to, dropping Dewgong, but you actually win if you go with Icy Wind first, and then closing it out with Swift, just as you can win going Icy Wind and then DIsarming Voice after. Similarly, there are no big differences in 2v2 shielding, but in 0v0 shield, we have a true sidegrade situation, with Swift outracing Pelipper and Shadow CharmTales, and Disarming Voice instead overpowering Gligar and forcing at least a tie a tie with enemy Wigglytuffs. So pure sidegrade, basically. Not a GREAT sign considering that, again, this is the only Charmer that gets STAB with Swift. And while JIGGLYPUFF* and especially IGGLYBUFF have some play in Little League, they are still worlds better with (Legacy) Body Slam rather than Swift. Moving on....
  
• CLEFABLE has a few edge cases where Swift can help, but overall just trust me when I tell you that (at least when running Fairy Wind as the fast move), Meteor Mash and Moonblast are just much. much better. Most all of the advantages for Swift show up in 2v2 shielding, and only in Great League...things like Swampert, Pelipper, and Gligar. But exisiting moves are just better otherwise, including up and down Ultra League. There's really no reason to linger here, so... next!
  
• The only other new recipients are the TEDDIURSA/URSARING/URSALUNA family. I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think Ursaluna wants it at all. Ice Punch has the same stats as what we're guessing Swift will, and the coverage it provides is massive, especially in Master League were it sees the most play today (with wins over things like Garchomp, Yveltal, and perhaps most critically, Zygarde Complete). Teddiursa seems interesting until you remember that it already has Cross Chop and Crunch, which have more impact than super-effective-versus-nothing Swift... STAB alone isn't really enough. The one that MAY want it is Ursaring. You likely would want to run it alongside Close Combat (in place of PLay Rough), which can then add on Dewgong and Guzzlord in Great League, at the cost of giving up Lanturn and Sableye. In Ultra League, it can add on Guzzlord and Swampert and gives up only Alolan Muk. But honestly, Ursaring remains just bad in both Leagues. And again, this is with likely best-case-scenario Swift. Blech.
  
• Pokémon that already have Swift (and any real potential in PvP) are basically just a list of two. HISUIAN ELECTRODE may actually want it, as it obviously wants to always run Wild Charge (45 energy) but awkwardly has to often try to bait a shield first with MORE expensive Energy Ball (55 energy). Swift COULD fix that by greatly speeding things up, as it costs less than Wild Charge at only 40 energy. But I still think that will be better in theory (and perhaps in Electric Cup, should that return) than in actual practice. Energy Ball is still quite useful for coverage and non-Wild Charge closing power, needing it to beat things like Whiscash and Swampert across various shileding scenarios. Swift does have some advantages in 2v2 shielding for rather obvious reasons, but that's about it.
  
• MUCH more interesting is UXIE. By far the bulkiest of the Lake Trio Legendaries — and in fact, the second bulkiest Confusion user in the game, behind only Cresselia — its problem has always been that all of its charge moves costed 55 energy or more... and with Swift being so bad before, it still usually ran with 60 energy (Thunder) and 65-energy (Future Sight) charge moves. And despite on-paper great potential... well, it was certainly no Cresselia! (And that goes for Ultra League too.) But now it gets the inexpensive move it's been waiting for, with new and improved Swift elevating its performance significantly in Great League (new wins include Altaria, Gligar, Swampert, Whiscash, Alolan Ninetales, Shadow Dragonair) and in Ultra League (new wins like DDeoxys, Pidgeot, Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Ampharos, Shadow Dragonite, AND Shadow CharmTales). Not sure that this will lead to a sudden breakout in PvP, but at the very least, it's suddenly spicy.
  

So no big ripples, but hey, Swift is at least not a meme move anymore. And Uxie really likes it now, at least! Let's shake it off 😉 and move along to the last couple move tweaks....

NO GO ADELE 🐉

Sticking with the theme of famous singers... Hello from the other side! 🙃
Okay, sorry sorry. NAGANADEL gets Dragon Claw now. Yay? Sadly this does very, very little for it in PvP, picking up just a single win over Yveltal, of all things, in 1v1 shielding, and no real changes elsewhere. At least this section is easy on me (musical lyric joke counter: 2) and we can move on to the next now.

PATIENCE, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER 🦗

If you don't get the reference, it's from a famous show from the 70s (yes, the 1970s, you youngins) called "Kung Fu". It's a famous show and a famous phrase that you should know. No, I don't just know it because I'm old, it's famous!
...get off my lawn.
Anyway, Counter remains the best fast overall move in the game, so any time something new gets it, that is reason enough to sit up and notice. Even when that recipient is a current Pokémona non grata like LOKIX.
Look, it's very glassy and will likely never be more than spice. This is unlikely to really shake up any meta in a major way. But yes, Lokix is significantly better than before now that it has Counter. It does unfortunately drop Cresselia, but can now outslug stuff like Lickitung, Dewgong, Guzzlord, Vigoroth, Galarian Stunfisk, and even Skarmory and Bastiodon despite how scary those two normally are for Bugs. It sees similar improvement in Ultra League, dropping Fighting-resistent Venusaur and Golisopod but gaining Registeel, Steelix, Alolan Sandslash, Swampert, Walrein, and Greedent, but uh... it has to be leveled up to at least Level 46, and is still a poor option overall. Not worth it, IMO. But keep an eye on it, as the addtion of another impactful charge move could elevate it further. Counter users are ALWAYS worth at least some consideration.

(RE-) PLANTING A SEED 🌱

We all know why Seed Bomb was nerfed from its original 40 to 45 energy: it was felt that something had to be done about TREVENANT, by far the most impactful Seed Bomb user. Yes yes, it got a small damage bump as well (from 55 to 60 damage), but the (completely intended) damage was done, and Trevenant usage dropped quite a bit. The hit wasn't TOO bad, but it was enough.
Now Trevor gets a boost again, with the cost remaining the same but the damage creeping up to 65 now, elevating it from a clone of Wrap (and a slew of stat-altering moves like Icy Wind, Mystical Fire, Lunge, the Forces Of Nature unique Storm moves, and others... but Seed Bomb of course HAS no stat altering and was thus far worse) to a clone of Discharge. Not amazing — a reduction in cost to what it once way would REALLY make a difference — but certainly more palpable.
In the end, it's a small buff to Trevenant — with only a couple new wins like Shadow Dragonair in 1shield and Azumarill in 2shield in Great League, and Feraligatr and Greninja in 1shield and Tentacruel in 2shield in Ultra League — but we'll take it! Those UL wins especially are pretty nice.
Not many other notable Seed Bomb users, but here's what I see: WHIMSICOTT (with Fairy Wind) can now beat Galarian Stunfisk and Azumarill with shields down (in Great League), so that's a small but welcome improvement. Aaaaaaand that's about it. No big changes I see with Little League COTTONEE or BULBASAUR or Little or Great League DARTRIX, and then you're into things like CELEBI. Yeah, this is first and almost entirely centered on Trevenant.

SNUFFING OUT SPARK 🔌

Just as Seed Bomb changes are directly intended to affect one meta Pokémon, so too is the story with the nerf to Spark dropping from 6 damage to 5: this is directly intended to nerf LANTURN. There used to be other meta things that ran Spark because they had to, but they've all gotten other tricks since then that are now preferred (Volt Switch for Magnezone and family, Volt Switch for Charjabug, etc.). Yes, some others like LUXRAY and PROBOPASS remain as collateral damage, but those are just occasional spice considerations. No, the only truly meta change here is to Lanturn, as intended.
But how bad is it? Overall, it's not TOO significant. Lanturn now loses to Registeel in 1v1 shielding (and not surprisingly gets a bit less dominant versus other things like Azumarill and Mandibuzz), Medicham and Charjabug in 0shield, and Altaria and Annihilape in 2shield. Those ARE some big names, but where you primarily wanted it before, it still works, albeit sometimes with a little less left in the tank at the end. Farming things down obviously gets harder! It drops from formerly ranking #12 in Great League 20 spots to now #32 (at the time of this writing), but still... a Top 30ish option is still a really good PvP Pokémon.
...oh, but uh, there's a caveat: it's now ranked at #32 with Water Gun, while Spark Lanturn has dropped all the way down to #66. That may be a little harsh, but does make sense. Ironically, the rating with Water Gun goes UP from #35 to now #32. I don't knwo that I'm quite ready to say that Water Gun Lanturn is now the clear favorite over Spark Lanturn, but they're now both moving into "sidegrade" territory for sure, with Spark still being best for things like Mandibuzz, Poliwrath, and Sableye, but Water Gun carving out wins against Galarian Stunfisk, Shadow Gilgar, Carbink... and the Registeel that Spark now loses to. Water Gun is also far better now [with shields down], beating things that Spark cannot like G-Fisk, Shadow Gligar, and Carbink again, along with Charjabug and Shadow A-Slash, while the only unique win Spark holds onto is Dewgong. Interestingly, Water Gun Lanturn can also now win the head to head with Spark Lanturn in 2v2 shielding. Spark and Water Gun now deal the same damage per turn, so Water Gun's shorter cooldown wins the day.
Again, I do not think Lanturn is going to suddenly disappear from Open formats or even PvP in-person tournaments. But I DO think its use is going to go down as it slips back a tier or two in the meta. I mean, it almost HAS to. And yes, I do think Water Gun variants are going to be far more common now. Again, you almost HAVE to move that direction now, at least for certain team compositions. We'll see how bad it gets soon enough.

A SEARING REVIEW

Speaking of getting bad, a brief mention for the other notable nerf with this update: Scald. It retains its nice cost to damage ratio of 1.7 Damage Per Energy (50 energy for 85 damage), but the chance for it to lower the target's Attack is going to drop. We don't know how much, but considering it currently sits at 50%, something like 30% seems a resonable expectation, and that's what PvPoke has put up speculatively as well. I'm NOT going to turn to simulations here, as moves with a percentage change of triggers are notoriously difficult to portray that way, to the point of almost being deceptive to even try. But I hardly think this marks the death of intended targets like WHISCASH or POLIWRATH unless, perhaps, the percentage change completely craters at like 20% or below. It's still good damage output and still a great STAB move for each of them. The rankings show Shadow Whiscash only dropping from #23 to #27 (though non-Shadow does take more of a hit, from a former #27 to now #42) and Poliwrath sees only a very small dip as well (#31 → #34 for Shadow and #46 → #48 for non-Shadow in Great League, and basically no change in Ultra League {non-Shadow drops only spot from #5 to #6, and Shadow actually rises from #10 to #9 thanks to other meta shifts}). Yes, this will hurt those who have fallen in love with those two, and surely there will be a slight dip in tournament play. But I don't think this is nearly the death knell some are making it out to be.
I DO think this may convince me to give up my Bubble LUDICOLO I've been running in GL of late, though. Scald triggering was the difference between life and death against some things like Gilgar. And other slightly-less-meta things like TENTACRUEL may suffer a little bit as well, but again, the change isn't all that bad. (Tentacthulhu, for example, usually counts on Acid Spray for debuffing hijinks anyway and saves Scald as a closer... it's less reliant on the debuffing it can sometimes provide.)

IN SUMMATION

And that's it! Barring any last minute surprises by Niantic (ALWAYS a possibility), there's your review of all changes coming with the Shared Skies Season. As a quick reminder so people don't panic, keep in mind that while the new season starts on the 1st as per usual, the move updates will not go live until June 3rd, as a nice gesture to not disrupt the planned PJCS and Bologna tournaments that weekend.
By way of quick summary of the above (here's your TL;DR, folks!):
The biggest winners I see in this update are (in rough order) CETITAN (maybe CETODDLE?) with Powder Snow, TYPHLOSION with Thunder Punch, UXIE with Swift, SWOOBAT with Fly, SCRAFTY with Thunder Punch, LOKIX with Counter, TREVENANT with buffed Seed Bomb, and then maybe SALAMENCE (Fly) and WHIMSICOTT (Seed Bomb). Other than Cetitan and Typhlosion, I don't know that any of them move drastically up the ranks, but they're all better with this update and bear watching as spice options at the very least.
Alrighty, that's it for now. Back to analysis on the Necrozma Fusions (already in progress) and beyond! Until then, you can always find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck as we move into the new season, and catch you next time!

New season, new shakeup! As per usual, we get new moves added to new recipients, and some existing moves get tweaked. Unlike usual, we don't get any all-new moves, but on the plus side, we got all this teased over a week ahead of time, making ol' JRE quite happy. No last minute scramble to get through it all!
But even with a relatively simple move rabalance like this one, there's still plenty to cover. Nowhere will you find analysis that goes to these depths, covering the big names and some others you likely haven't even considered.
Let's do this, people!

(NEW) ATTACK ON TITAN 🌨️

There are several attack changes people are already talking about excitedly with this update, so naturally I'm going to start with... CETITAN? Hear me out, because I think this is one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) move addition in this whole rebalance.
"JRE, you're crazy, man. Ice types are a dime a dozen. What makes Cetitan so special?"
Well judging by my initial PvP review on Cetitan when it was released, not much. I noted it had decent overall bulk and was at least better than Avalugg (with the same Body Slam and Avalanche charge moves, but Cetitan having the better fast move with Ice Shard as opposed to Lugg's Ice Fang), and perhaps had some promise in Master League where Ice types have a lot of advantages anyway, particularly Premier where Legendary Ice types are left on the outside looking in. And now? Enter an even much better fast move than Ice Shard: Powder Snow, which beats all the same ML core meta stuff as Ice Shard plus Origin Giratina, Lugia, and Snorlax in 0shield, Altered Giratina, Swampert, and Gyarados in 1shield, Mewtwo and Reshiram in 2shield, and Xerneas and Zacian in both 1 and 2shield. And again, NO new losses... this is a straight upgrade, folks. In the rankings, Cetitan leapfrogs Avalugg, Walrein, Baxcalibur, and even lomg-time staple Mamoswine in the ratings (and in performance) to trail only Kyurem and Hisuian Avalugg among Ice types, and Cetitan can still do things not even those two can like beating Mewtwo, Excadrill, and Reshiram!
Cetitan does move into the upper ranks of Ice types in other Leagues as well, but there is just a lot of established and versatile competition to contend with like Walrein, Dewgong, Abomasnow, Alolan Sandslash, Arctibax, Aurorus, Froslass, Alolan Ninetales, and even old friends like Lapras. Those mostly all fall away in Master League, leaving the new and improved Cetitan to shoot up the charts more decisively. You'll start to see it all over now, particularly in Cups, but I do think Master League is where it will likely make its biggest mark for those with the means to build it up. It can even beat three out of four Necrozmas! (The Steely Dusk Mane fusion being the only exception, for rather obvious reasons.)
One other League to consider is Little Leaue, and CETODDLE, who gets the same moveset update and does good things with it. Stupid trash can lid Bronzor is still a huge issue, of course, as well as obvious Fires and Fighters and such. But this is easily now one of the best Ice types in Little League and should be a fixture of most Little formats from here on out.
Do I think these two are going to suddenly take over their respective Leagues? Probably not. But do they deserve a heck of a lot more usage, even in Open? Absolutely. There's a reason I chose to lead off with these two!

PUNCHING LIGHTS OUT ⚡

Thunder Punch is not exactly an electrifying move in PvP. Like the other Elemental Punches (Fire, Ice, Thunder), as well as other move clones (Aerial Ace and Stomp), it costs only 40 energy, but deals only 55 damage for a passable but unexciting 1.37 Damage Per Energy. Most things that use it (and there are several, such as Ampharos, Muk, Hypno, Pachirisu, and the Super Raichu Bros.) do so as a bait move, though as with any elemental move, the coverage alone can be nice too (for things like Muk and Hypno, at least). Still, often if it goes through unshielded, that's a loss for the user, as they typically want to bait a shield with it leading up to a big closer like Dark Pulse (Muk), Shadow Ball (Hypno), or Wild Charge (Raichus).
And honestly, that mostly remains Thunder Punch's role for the things now recieving it:

• The Pawmot family all get it now. I suppose PAWMO may appreciate it the most as its first move under 45 energy, but it remains a poor overall option. Big bro PAWMOT can use it, I suppose, alongside Close Combat or Wild Charge rather than running both as it typically does now, giving it not only better bait potential but also moves it away from TWO big self-debuffing moves at once. Indeed, it would seem Thunder Punch/Close Combat is a fine sidegrade or even upgrade to Close Combat/Wild Charge, dropping Azumarill but picking up things like Mantine, Talonflame, and Carbink, which are all quite nice. However, it remains far south of a 50% winrate and thus on the fringe even in most Limited/Cup metas. This addition is appreciated, but doesn't really change much. And keep in mind that their fast move, Spark, is getting a nerf... but more on that later.
  
• CHESNAUGHT is an odd one here. Obviously it already has Waters covered with its Grass moves, so the most obvious thing Thunder Punch does is give it a little more teeth against Flyers. As with Pawmot, Chesnaught tends to run with a self-debuffing Fighting move for coverage, in this case Superpower. And honestly, I think that's what it will usually prefer to keep on doing, though Thunder Punch IS a decent overall sidegrade on paper in Great League, dropping stuff like Guzzlord and Shadow Dragonair to instead gain Annihilape and Pelipper. Hmmm... that's actually not too shabby. 🤔 I think I can confidentally say to stick with Superpower in Ultra League, though... without it, you drop stuff like Registeel, Alolan Sandslash, Cobalion, and Guzzlord, which is no beuno.
  
• Another Fighter that gets some anti-air coverage wth Thunder Punch now is LUCARIO. The last elemental move Niantic gave it was Blaze Kick, which has popped up here and there (and given it some new potential wins like Venusaur), but generally it seems to usually still run best with Power-Up Punch (and typically Shadow Ball) instead. Usually. I do see a bit more potential this time around. In Great League, Fire Punch generally performs worse than PuP, but Thunder Punch seems like more of a straight sidegrade, trading away Cresselia to instead pretty reliably take out Carbink. And in Ultra League, Thunder Punch (running alongside Shadow Ball) does still generally lose to Trevenant in a foot race (PuP's lower cost is critical there), but gains Mandibuzz and Tentacruel in exchange, as well as scaring Flyers into potentially burning more shields too. Luc's Counter damage is already beating up Steels that you'd want Fire for, leaving Thunder Punch and Counter with less overlap. PuP Lucario isn't going anywhere, but I DO like Thunder a bit more as an alternative than Fire. We'll see if that ends up truly mattering.
  
• Third time's the charm? Our third and final Fighter getting Thunder Punch now is the most intriguing. SCRAFTY, like Lucario, has long run effectively with Power-Up Punch leading to an eventual Foul Play to close things out. That's been at least Cup-worthy in Great League, and at least borderline meta in Ultra League especially. In Great League, Thunder Punch is at least a decent sidegrade to PuP, sometimes dropping the Shadow versions of Dragonair and Victreebel, but gaining Mandibuzz and Pelipper, two pretty impactful pickups. But it is in Ultra League where Thunder Punch becomes more impactful, bringing in new wins like Golisopod, Alolan Muk, and Gyarados, as opposed to the single new loss to Cobalion that you can get with PuP instead. And Thunder Punch is more of a straight upgrade in other even shield matchups, gaining Tentacruel in 2v2 shielding and Poliwrath, Mandibuzz, and Gyarados with shields down, all with NO PuP wins slipping away. I think this just makes Scrafty better in Ultra and will be the favored move alongside Foul Play moving forward. Neat!
  
• But I think the single biggest winner of the Thunder Punch sweepstakes has to be TYPHLOSION. There are a couple reasons for this that make perfect sense even without looking at sims. First off, Typhlosion's biggest issue since the beginning has been having no charge moves costing less than 50 energy. This means that three Incinerates (or at least seven Shadow Claws) have always been required before Typhlosion could even threaten shields. Thunder Punch changes that math significantly, as only two Incinerates (or five Shadow Claws) are required to hit exactly the 40 energy Thunder Punch requires. That is significant! But the coverage is also fanatastic to hit back at Water types, which Typhlosion always kinda wanted to do with Solar Beam, though that costs FOUR Incinerates to charge up, making it a Hail Mary at best. The end result? Thunder Punch is nearly a straight upgrade. Without any shields in play, Solar Beam CAN manage to shock and awe its way to wins over things like Azumarill and Lickitung in Great League, and Jellicent in Ultra League. But otherwise everything comes up in Thunder Punch's favor, with its own 0shield wins like Charizard in UL and Talonflame, Mantine, Pelipper, and Shadow A-Slash in GL. And Thunder Punch is strictly better in 1v1 shielding by adding Mandibuzz and Mantine in GL and Gyarados and Talonflame in UL, and a TON of new wins in 2v2 shielding like Feraligatr, Mantine, Talonflame, Lickitung, Sableye, Cresselia, and sometimes even Galarian Stunfisk in GL, and Charizard, Toxicroak, Obstagoon, Alolan Muk, Jellicent, Annihilape, Golisopod, Gyarados, Tentacruel, Walrein, Mandibuzz and more in UL! Big big BIG improvements in the horizon for Typhlosion that elevates it to the same tier as Talonflame, Chairzard, and Skeledirge in both Great and Ultra Leagues moving forward. And that's not to even mention the potential of Shadow Typhlosion.... 😱
  

🎼 COME FLY WITH ME, LET'S FLY AWAY! 🦅

Fly is one of the best moves in the entire game: 45 energy for 80 damage, with no drawbacks at all. That's what Sky Attack was from 2018 to 2021, back when it was terrifying in PvP, before dropping to 75 power and eventually going to 50 energy too last year. (What did Sky Attack ever do to you, Hanke?! 😢) But now, in keeping with the seeming skyward theme of the season, old school Sky Attack is being handed out to several new recipients that... uh... could use some help. Is it enough?

• Oh, how long I've wanted FEAROW to work in PvP. Its had its chances, with Drill Run and Steel Wing only getting better over time, and even the nerfs to Sky Attack being mitigated by the long overdue buff to Aerial Ace. And now it gets old-school Sky Attack with the addition of Fly... and it STILL can't break out. Come on, Niantic.. just give it Wing Attack already, will ya? Or at least Quick Attack, maybe? Set my drill running bird free!
  
• SWANNA remains the ugly duckling of Flying Water types. While Mantine and Pelipper and even Gyarados lord over their respective Leagues, and even Swanna's pre-evolution Ducklett remains a tippy top option in Little League, poor Swanna remains consistently ranked outside the top 400, ranked below even Mantyke in Great League... even after getting Fly! It remains trapped behind lackluster fast moves, and until that changes, it remains irrelevant. Let Swanna really soar, Niantic!
  
• The one everyone is talking about is SALAMENCE, particularly in Master League where it has always seemed right on the cusp of potential greatness, with pretty good overall stats and decent enough Dragon moves (Dragon Tail, Draco Meteor, and Outrage as a Legacy move), but no good second charge move. Now it gets Fly, and while it IS much improved, I just don't think it's enough. Not nearly. Not even in Premier. Just too many other Dragons with better tricks up their sleeves. If you're doggedly insistent, I guess you can try again with it now, but I don't see Sal finding sudden success after this, sorry. Give it Dragon Claw or something and THEN we can talk.
  
• So surprisingly, it is humble SWOOBAT that we're left talking about as perhaps the most impactful new Fly user. Though obviously we're not talking Master League anymore, no no. This is a Great League 'mon, and one that's already a little spicy since first getting Psychic Fangs and then the eventual buff to Aerial Ace. But it was left without reasonably priced closing power, with Psychic (the move) just not being worth it as the attempts to nerf Medicham drug Psychic (the move!) into the depths, and Future Sight is just way too expensive with Confusion's average energy gains. So now here comes Fly, and you know what? I like the result! This is no sudden new Open play revelation or anything, but potential spice in the right Cup? I can absolutely see it. Fly grants new wins against GOOD names like Altaria and Gligar in 1shield, and Pelipper, Vigoroth, and the Shadow versions of Gligar, Swampert, and CharmTales in 0shield. There's some real potential here now, more than ever before. Not every improvement has to rock PvP... just some nice new twists like this can be plenty fun. Now we just need Gust for the lulz.
  

NIFTY OR... SWIFTIE? ‍💨

Apologies to the fans of the future Mrs. Travis Kelce (if you know, you know)....
Anyway, long-terrible Normal charge move Swift is finally getting a buff. I think so, at least. Niantic is actually lowing its power from 60 damage to 55, but they are also lowering its cost. How much? That's the part we don't know yet, but PvPoke has speculated it will drop from 55 energy all the way down to 40, and while that's probably the best case scenario, we're gonna roll with it for the purposes of this analysis. If that holds true, the resulting 55 damage/40 every should look quite familiar... it's the same stats as Thunder Punch. And as we talked about earlier, that's usually better for baiting than anything, but it's passable and certainly FAR better than the 60 damage/55 energy it was previously.
Does anything that now gets it (or already has it) actually want to use it, though?

• The first new recipients worth mentioning are the WIGGLYTUFF family, as they are all part Normal-type and thus get STAB damage with Swift too. Eh, maybe? These sims will likely break when the new season goes live, but what the heck, I'll show them anyway. I think out of the two charge moves Wiggly uses now — Icy Wind and Disarming Voice — it is Voice that is the one to potentially drop, as Charm already deals plenty of Fairy-type damage, and Icy Wind not only provides coverage but also obviously extends Wiggly's life by debuffing the opponent's Attack. So assuming you run Icy Wind/Swift, we'll call that a sidegrade to Wind/Voice. "But JRE, it got worse!" Yes, in 1shield it seems to, dropping Dewgong, but you actually win if you go with Icy Wind first, and then closing it out with Swift, just as you can win going Icy Wind and then DIsarming Voice after. Similarly, there are no big differences in 2v2 shielding, but in 0v0 shield, we have a true sidegrade situation, with Swift outracing Pelipper and Shadow CharmTales, and Disarming Voice instead overpowering Gligar and forcing at least a tie a tie with enemy Wigglytuffs. So pure sidegrade, basically. Not a GREAT sign considering that, again, this is the only Charmer that gets STAB with Swift. And while JIGGLYPUFF* and especially IGGLYBUFF have some play in Little League, they are still worlds better with (Legacy) Body Slam rather than Swift. Moving on....
  
• CLEFABLE has a few edge cases where Swift can help, but overall just trust me when I tell you that (at least when running Fairy Wind as the fast move), Meteor Mash and Moonblast are just much. much better. Most all of the advantages for Swift show up in 2v2 shielding, and only in Great League...things like Swampert, Pelipper, and Gligar. But exisiting moves are just better otherwise, including up and down Ultra League. There's really no reason to linger here, so... next!
  
• The only other new recipients are the TEDDIURSA/URSARING/URSALUNA family. I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't think Ursaluna wants it at all. Ice Punch has the same stats as what we're guessing Swift will, and the coverage it provides is massive, especially in Master League were it sees the most play today (with wins over things like Garchomp, Yveltal, and perhaps most critically, Zygarde Complete). Teddiursa seems interesting until you remember that it already has Cross Chop and Crunch, which have more impact than super-effective-versus-nothing Swift... STAB alone isn't really enough. The one that MAY want it is Ursaring. You likely would want to run it alongside Close Combat (in place of PLay Rough), which can then add on Dewgong and Guzzlord in Great League, at the cost of giving up Lanturn and Sableye. In Ultra League, it can add on Guzzlord and Swampert and gives up only Alolan Muk. But honestly, Ursaring remains just bad in both Leagues. And again, this is with likely best-case-scenario Swift. Blech.
  
• Pokémon that already have Swift (and any real potential in PvP) are basically just a list of two. HISUIAN ELECTRODE may actually want it, as it obviously wants to always run Wild Charge (45 energy) but awkwardly has to often try to bait a shield first with MORE expensive Energy Ball (55 energy). Swift COULD fix that by greatly speeding things up, as it costs less than Wild Charge at only 40 energy. But I still think that will be better in theory (and perhaps in Electric Cup, should that return) than in actual practice. Energy Ball is still quite useful for coverage and non-Wild Charge closing power, needing it to beat things like Whiscash and Swampert across various shileding scenarios. Swift does have some advantages in 2v2 shielding for rather obvious reasons, but that's about it.
  
• MUCH more interesting is UXIE. By far the bulkiest of the Lake Trio Legendaries — and in fact, the second bulkiest Confusion user in the game, behind only Cresselia — its problem has always been that all of its charge moves costed 55 energy or more... and with Swift being so bad before, it still usually ran with 60 energy (Thunder) and 65-energy (Future Sight) charge moves. And despite on-paper great potential... well, it was certainly no Cresselia! (And that goes for Ultra League too.) But now it gets the inexpensive move it's been waiting for, with new and improved Swift elevating its performance significantly in Great League (new wins include Altaria, Gligar, Swampert, Whiscash, Alolan Ninetales, Shadow Dragonair) and in Ultra League (new wins like DDeoxys, Pidgeot, Swampert, Venusaur, Charizard, Ampharos, Shadow Dragonite, AND Shadow CharmTales). Not sure that this will lead to a sudden breakout in PvP, but at the very least, it's suddenly spicy.
  

So no big ripples, but hey, Swift is at least not a meme move anymore. And Uxie really likes it now, at least! Let's shake it off 😉 and move along to the last couple move tweaks....

NO GO ADELE 🐉

Sticking with the theme of famous singers... Hello from the other side! 🙃
Okay, sorry sorry. NAGANADEL gets Dragon Claw now. Yay? Sadly this does very, very little for it in PvP, picking up just a single win over Yveltal, of all things, in 1v1 shielding, and no real changes elsewhere. At least this section is easy on me (musical lyric joke counter: 2) and we can move on to the next now.

PATIENCE, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER 🦗

If you don't get the reference, it's from a famous show from the 70s (yes, the 1970s, you youngins) called "Kung Fu". It's a famous show and a famous phrase that you should know. No, I don't just know it because I'm old, it's famous!
...get off my lawn.
Anyway, Counter remains the best fast overall move in the game, so any time something new gets it, that is reason enough to sit up and notice. Even when that recipient is a current Pokémona non grata like LOKIX.
Look, it's very glassy and will likely never be more than spice. This is unlikely to really shake up any meta in a major way. But yes, Lokix is significantly better than before now that it has Counter. It does unfortunately drop Cresselia, but can now outslug stuff like Lickitung, Dewgong, Guzzlord, Vigoroth, Galarian Stunfisk, and even Skarmory and Bastiodon despite how scary those two normally are for Bugs. It sees similar improvement in Ultra League, dropping Fighting-resistent Venusaur and Golisopod but gaining Registeel, Steelix, Alolan Sandslash, Swampert, Walrein, and Greedent, but uh... it has to be leveled up to at least Level 46, and is still a poor option overall. Not worth it, IMO. But keep an eye on it, as the addtion of another impactful charge move could elevate it further. Counter users are ALWAYS worth at least some consideration.

(RE-) PLANTING A SEED 🌱

We all know why Seed Bomb was nerfed from its original 40 to 45 energy: it was felt that something had to be done about TREVENANT, by far the most impactful Seed Bomb user. Yes yes, it got a small damage bump as well (from 55 to 60 damage), but the (completely intended) damage was done, and Trevenant usage dropped quite a bit. The hit wasn't TOO bad, but it was enough.
Now Trevor gets a boost again, with the cost remaining the same but the damage creeping up to 65 now, elevating it from a clone of Wrap (and a slew of stat-altering moves like Icy Wind, Mystical Fire, Lunge, the Forces Of Nature unique Storm moves, and others... but Seed Bomb of course HAS no stat altering and was thus far worse) to a clone of Discharge. Not amazing — a reduction in cost to what it once way would REALLY make a difference — but certainly more palpable.
In the end, it's a small buff to Trevenant — with only a couple new wins like Shadow Dragonair in 1shield and Azumarill in 2shield in Great League, and Feraligatr and Greninja in 1shield and Tentacruel in 2shield in Ultra League — but we'll take it! Those UL wins especially are pretty nice.
Not many other notable Seed Bomb users, but here's what I see: WHIMSICOTT (with Fairy Wind) can now beat Galarian Stunfisk and Azumarill with shields down (in Great League), so that's a small but welcome improvement. Aaaaaaand that's about it. No big changes I see with Little League COTTONEE or BULBASAUR or Little or Great League DARTRIX, and then you're into things like CELEBI. Yeah, this is first and almost entirely centered on Trevenant.

SNUFFING OUT SPARK 🔌

Just as Seed Bomb changes are directly intended to affect one meta Pokémon, so too is the story with the nerf to Spark dropping from 6 damage to 5: this is directly intended to nerf LANTURN. There used to be other meta things that ran Spark because they had to, but they've all gotten other tricks since then that are now preferred (Volt Switch for Magnezone and family, Volt Switch for Charjabug, etc.). Yes, some others like LUXRAY and PROBOPASS remain as collateral damage, but those are just occasional spice considerations. No, the only truly meta change here is to Lanturn, as intended.
But how bad is it? Overall, it's not TOO significant. Lanturn now loses to Registeel in 1v1 shielding (and not surprisingly gets a bit less dominant versus other things like Azumarill and Mandibuzz), Medicham and Charjabug in 0shield, and Altaria and Annihilape in 2shield. Those ARE some big names, but where you primarily wanted it before, it still works, albeit sometimes with a little less left in the tank at the end. Farming things down obviously gets harder! It drops from formerly ranking #12 in Great League 20 spots to now #32 (at the time of this writing), but still... a Top 30ish option is still a really good PvP Pokémon.
...oh, but uh, there's a caveat: it's now ranked at #32 with Water Gun, while Spark Lanturn has dropped all the way down to #66. That may be a little harsh, but does make sense. Ironically, the rating with Water Gun goes UP from #35 to now #32. I don't knwo that I'm quite ready to say that Water Gun Lanturn is now the clear favorite over Spark Lanturn, but they're now both moving into "sidegrade" territory for sure, with Spark still being best for things like Mandibuzz, Poliwrath, and Sableye, but Water Gun carving out wins against Galarian Stunfisk, Shadow Gilgar, Carbink... and the Registeel that Spark now loses to. Water Gun is also far better now [with shields down], beating things that Spark cannot like G-Fisk, Shadow Gligar, and Carbink again, along with Charjabug and Shadow A-Slash, while the only unique win Spark holds onto is Dewgong. Interestingly, Water Gun Lanturn can also now win the head to head with Spark Lanturn in 2v2 shielding. Spark and Water Gun now deal the same damage per turn, so Water Gun's shorter cooldown wins the day.
Again, I do not think Lanturn is going to suddenly disappear from Open formats or even PvP in-person tournaments. But I DO think its use is going to go down as it slips back a tier or two in the meta. I mean, it almost HAS to. And yes, I do think Water Gun variants are going to be far more common now. Again, you almost HAVE to move that direction now, at least for certain team compositions. We'll see how bad it gets soon enough.

A SEARING REVIEW

Speaking of getting bad, a brief mention for the other notable nerf with this update: Scald. It retains its nice cost to damage ratio of 1.7 Damage Per Energy (50 energy for 85 damage), but the chance for it to lower the target's Attack is going to drop. We don't know how much, but considering it currently sits at 50%, something like 30% seems a resonable expectation, and that's what PvPoke has put up speculatively as well. I'm NOT going to turn to simulations here, as moves with a percentage change of triggers are notoriously difficult to portray that way, to the point of almost being deceptive to even try. But I hardly think this marks the death of intended targets like WHISCASH or POLIWRATH unless, perhaps, the percentage change completely craters at like 20% or below. It's still good damage output and still a great STAB move for each of them. The rankings show Shadow Whiscash only dropping from #23 to #27 (though non-Shadow does take more of a hit, from a former #27 to now #42) and Poliwrath sees only a very small dip as well (#31 → #34 for Shadow and #46 → #48 for non-Shadow in Great League, and basically no change in Ultra League {non-Shadow drops only spot from #5 to #6, and Shadow actually rises from #10 to #9 thanks to other meta shifts}). Yes, this will hurt those who have fallen in love with those two, and surely there will be a slight dip in tournament play. But I don't think this is nearly the death knell some are making it out to be.
I DO think this may convince me to give up my Bubble LUDICOLO I've been running in GL of late, though. Scald triggering was the difference between life and death against some things like Gilgar. And other slightly-less-meta things like TENTACRUEL may suffer a little bit as well, but again, the change isn't all that bad. (Tentacthulhu, for example, usually counts on Acid Spray for debuffing hijinks anyway and saves Scald as a closer... it's less reliant on the debuffing it can sometimes provide.)

IN SUMMATION

And that's it! Barring any last minute surprises by Niantic (ALWAYS a possibility), there's your review of all changes coming with the Shared Skies Season. As a quick reminder so people don't panic, keep in mind that while the new season starts on the 1st as per usual, the move updates will not go live until June 3rd, as a nice gesture to not disrupt the planned PJCS and Bologna tournaments that weekend.
By way of quick summary of the above (here's your TL;DR, folks!):
The biggest winners I see in this update are (in rough order) CETITAN (maybe CETODDLE?) with Powder Snow, TYPHLOSION with Thunder Punch, UXIE with Swift, SWOOBAT with Fly, SCRAFTY with Thunder Punch, LOKIX with Counter, TREVENANT with buffed Seed Bomb, and then maybe SALAMENCE (Fly) and WHIMSICOTT (Seed Bomb). Other than Cetitan and Typhlosion, I don't know that any of them move drastically up the ranks, but they're all better with this update and bear watching as spice options at the very least.
Alrighty, that's it for now. Back to analysis on the Necrozma Fusions (already in progress) and beyond! Until then, you can always find me on Twitter or Patreon. Or please feel free to comment here with your own thoughts or questions and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
Stay safe out there, Pokéfriends. Best of luck as we move into the new season, and catch you next time!

Fantasy Booking Edge vs. Christian at WrestleMania XXVII (27):
SmackDown (Oct. 8 - Oct 22, 2010)
Christian comes to the ring the next week and claims this is the real celebration. Not the celebration with family, because you cant depend on family. This is the celebration of success, something you can actually depend on. Christian went through hell for Edge for 30 years as second place. Second place in school, in sports, in his own father’s eyes and worst of all, in the WWE. Christian had earned too much and gone through too much crap as Edge’s second place b**** and finally had enough. Christian has known he’s good enough to be #1. He’s a former Intercontinental Champion, former NWA World Heavyweight Champion and should’ve been a world champion in WWE a long time ago but now, everything is right. Edge then interrupts ready to fight when Christian stops Edge saying he knew Edge would be out here. Because although Christian spent 201 days by Edge’s side when he was World Heavyweight Champion, the second Christian is World Heavyweight Champion, Edge wants to fight him and come for his title. Christian says everyone was right about you, CM Punk, Kane, all of them. Edge then retorts saying he always knew Christian was great, he was world champion level. The only one who believed he was #2 to Edge was himself and once he got it in his head, he made the whole world believe it. It was Christian’s own self-fulfilling prophecy that made it happen and not because he didn’t have the talent to become a star, but because he didn’t have the balls to become a star. People can say a lot of things about what Edge did to become a start. Things Edge will regret for the rest of his life and will have enemies for the rest of his life for, but nobody can say he didn’t do everything he could to become a star. But Christian, when they broke up and it came time to become a star, things got tough and Christian left for 4 years. Then, when things got tough, Christian blamed Edge. Christian had the Money in the Bank Briefcase for 201 days and instead of cashing in on the WWE Champion or cashing in on Edge, he sat around like a little b**** and threw himself pity parties. Edge says if Christian cashed in on him that’s fine, Edge has been Mr. Money in the Bank before and knows it’s part of the game. They could’ve had a rivalry for the ages and remained friends throughout. Or, they ended WrestleMania XXVI as World Heavyweight Champion and Mr. Money in the Bank respectively, they could’ve ended WrestleMania XXVII as WWE Champion and World Heavyweight Champion respectively. However, Christian did none of those things because he didn’t want to step up, he wanted to be a little b****. While Edge thinks Christian is subhuman scum for what he did last week, at least for the first time in his career he showed some balls. But now, Edge is going to cut them off when he rips Christian apart and takes back his World Heavyweight Championship and Christian can go back to being #2 for the rest of his life. Christian slaps Edge and the two begin brawling. The brawl is interrupted when Edge is laid out by a huge man, Brodus Clay. Christian laughs as Brodus beats down Edge before laying him out next to the corner of the ring, before getting ready to hit a Vader Bomb or as he calls it, the Fall of Humanity. Before Brodus can hit it, Christian stops him, and grabs a chair, placing it around Edge’s neck and allowing Clay to continue. Clay jumps onto Edge, immediately injuring him on impact. Edge does not move as Teddy Long comes out, demanding a chuckling Christian & Clay leave the ring. Edge is stretchered out as he lays lifeless on the stretcher.
The next week, Christian and Brodus Clay are in the ring where Christian explains that Brodus empathised with Christian’s story of being ignored and pushed aside, with a man of Brodus’ size and talent being 37 years old and having never been given a shot in the big time. Christian saw Brodus, and Brodus saw Christian, and both men realised if they worked together, both men could achieve what they deserved. As Christian is speaking the #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, Rey Mysterio interrupts. Rey Mysterio says Edge is one of Rey’s greatest friends and he is going to get revenge for what Christian did to him. Christian says one of his favourite things about taking the title from Edge was taking away Edge’s chance to have a World Heavyweight Championship match with his friend Rey. Christian tells Mysterio to quit kissing Edge’s a** and realise who he’s talking about. Christian says Rey Mysterio has been betrayed by all his closest friends. Eddie Guerrero, Batista, but at least those men had some morals. Everyone knows Edge is the sickest son of a b**** the WWE has ever seen. If he wasn’t laying in a hospital bed, he would’ve stabbed Rey Mysterio in the back to retain his World Heavyweight Championship without blinking an eye. However, truly, Christian is so glad Rey Mysterio is his first challenger as champion. Because now, as Edge watches the show from a hospital bed, Christian can force him to watch on as he tortures one of Edge’s closes friends. And Christian would actually like to start that tonight. Christian then slaps Rey Mysterio who goes to attack Christian before he is taken out by Brodus Clay who beats Rey Mysterio down. Christian then crouches over a lifeless Rey and grabs his held and holds it up close to the camera, talking trash to Edge as he sits in his hospital bed watching on.
Christian © w/ Brodus Clay vs. Rey Mysterio - World Heavyweight Championship - Bragging Rights (Oct. 24, 2010)
From this point on, Christian’s matches contain a lot of talking from Christian. Whenever he is on top, Christian looks directly into the camera and talks directly to Edge. Saying how this is going to happen to all of Edge’s closes friends, how Edge cant do anything about it from his hospital bed, how Christian is better than Edge, and how when Edge comes back the same thing is going to happen to him. This match begins no different as Christian works over Mysterio and talks his trash. However, Rey Mysterio fights from underneath and gets into the contest as well, despite Christian controlling the majority of the bout and talking trash throughout. As Rey begins his final comeback and scores a very close roll up, Christian becomes more focused and stops the talking. Christian tries to finish off Mysterio who fights back and has Christian in a precarious position when Brodus Clay distracts Rey Mysterio. This gives Christian time to recover and attack Mysterio before nailing him with a Killswitch. Instead of covering Rey, Christian slowly paces around the ring, laughing. Christian then heads to the corner where he begins running his fingers down his head as he readies for a Spear, mocking Edge. Christian nails Rey with the Spear before covering him and getting the win. Christian celebrates with Brodus Clay and his World Heavyweight Championship as he grabs the camera and speaks directly to Edge, telling him that he loves the fact that Edge watching Christian as World Heavyweight Champion makes him sick, and that there’s nothing he can do about it. Christian tells Edge to get used to it, because it’s not ending any time soon. Christian then gives the camera a big kiss, the speech while holding the camera and the kiss to Edge becoming a signature of Christian’s post-match celebration.
Winner: Christian
SmackDown (Oct. 29 - Nov. 19, 2010)
Following the interference of Brodus Clay at Bragging Rights, Rey Mysterio confronts Christian & Clay and demands a rematch. Christian admits that he actually wants a rematch with Rey Mysterio at Survivor Series as well. But considering Christian is the champion, Christian won at Bragging Rights, and that Christian is the #1 on SmackDown & in WWE, he gets to make the rules. You see, torturing Rey at Bragging Rights as he spoke to Edge from the hospital gave Christian this intense, sick, twisted kind of joy. A high Christian wants to feel course through his veins once again, a high Rey Mysterio can give him at Survivor Series. But this time, Christian wants more, Christian wants Edge to watch him destroy Rey in an “I Quit” Match, and make Edge watch on as he is forces Rey to say “I Quit” right down the camera lens, knowing Edge is the reason his dear friend has to go through all that pain and suffering. Rey tells Christian he’s glad that’s Christian’s motivation, because at Survivor Series when Christian is distracted with Edge, Rey is going to take his World Heavyweight Championship. Rey smiles before slapping Christian in the face. Brodus runs for Rey who ducks and begins flying at Clay with fast & evasive offence until Christian hits Rey in the back of the head with the World Heavyweight Championship. Christian and Clay stand over Rey as Christian talks to the camera, telling Edge that this is nothing compared to what Edge will be forced to watch at Survivor Series.
Christian © w/ Brodus Clay vs. Rey Mysterio - “I Quit” Match - World Heavyweight Championship - Survivor Series (Nov. 21, 2010)
The match begins as usual by this point, Christian working over Rey, talking to the camera. However, Rey’s promise comes through as Christian’s focus on Edge & the camera allows Rey to escape Christian’s control and take over. After a back-and forth bout with high-paced, high-flying action with a series of weapons, a well-timed interference by Brodus Clay as Rey Mysterio goes for a chair shot to a kneeling Christian allows Christian to completely take over. Christian & Brodus slowly and methodically torture Rey as Christian monologues to Edge through the camera. As the torture continues, the heels grow progressively frustrated as Rey refuses to give up every time the referee asks. This causes Christian to hold Rey and demand Brodus strikes Mysterio with a chair. Brodus swings the chair only for Mysterio to duck, causing Brodus to lay out Christian with a brutal chair shot, putting the champion to sleep. Mysterio and Clay battle it out with Clay’s size & power giving him the advantage. However, whilst Clay’s size & power are to his advantage, his inexperience proves to be his undoing. Brodus places Mysterio on the US announcer’s table before scaling the Spanish announcer’s table. Brodus runs across the Spanish tables and dives onto Mysterio and the US table. However, Mysterio manages to move just in time, causing Clay to go flying into the table himself, destroying it and taking himself out of the match. With Clay out of the equation, Mysterio re-enters the ring where a groggy Christian awaits him. Mysterio begins using all his signature moves on Christian before lining him up for a 619. Mysterio runs off the ropes but as he heads back towards Christian, Christian jumps up, striking Mysterio with a loose announcer’s table monitor, exploding on impact with Rey’s face. As Rey squirms around on the ground in pain, screaming and clutching at his face, Christian slowly recovers with an evil smirk on his face. Christian grabs the wire which the monitor was connected to, crouches over Mysterio’s body and gets ready to choke Mysterio. However, before Christian does so, Christian snatches the microphone out of the referee’s hand, and brings the camera right up close to him, and begins to speak to Edge. Christian begins with “Dear Edge, this is a letter for you” and goes onto to hope & pray that this image haunts Edge forever as he is constantly reminded that he is responsible for the suffering of his closest friends and that Christian always was and always will be better than him. Christian finishes off the speech like he would a letter, saying “yours truly, the man who will always be better than you, Christian”. Christian then throws the microphone down before grabbing the wire and wrapping it around Rey’s neck before wrenching back, choking the life out of Mysterio who has no choice but to quit. Christian then stands tall over Mysterio with his World Heavyweight Championship raised over his head. Before grabbing the camera and saying “one last thing”, before forcing Edge to watch on as Christian rips off Mysterio’s mask, who immediately covers his face as referees bring towels for Mysterio. Christian then lays a signature kiss on the camera and leaves with his World Heavyweight Championship and a hurt Brodus Clay.
Winner: Christian
SmackDown (Nov. 26 - Dec. 17, 2010)
As Christian celebrates with Brodus Clay in the ring after another victory for Christian, fire shoots out the turnbuckles as Kane’s music hits and the monster makes his first appearance since being hit with a Conchairto by Edge at Hell in a Cell. Kane enters the ring and stares down the two men. Kane motions to Christian that he wants the World Heavyweight Championship, before cackling.
Kane and Christian with Brodus Clay meet in the ring the next week. Kane looks Christian up and down with an evil smirk, as he admires what he claims is ‘his creation’. Kane says after Kane molded Christian into the man who could take the World Heavyweight Championship from Edge, it’s Kane’s time to reap the fruits of his labour, and claim his World Heavyweight Championship. If it wasn’t for Kane, Christian wouldn’t be World Heavyweight Champion. Christian retorts, saying what Kane did to Christian when he kidnapped him is the reason Kane will get a World Heavyweight Championship match. But not because it’s his reward, Christian earned the World Heavyweight Championship himself and the reason Kane will get a World Heavyweight Championship with is so Christian can finally get his revenge for what Kane did to him, and so Christian can prove to the world that whatever Edge can do, Christian can do better. Kane sniggers and tells Christian that’s the other thing, when Kane would tell Christian he could be just as good as Edge and be his own man, he lied. Kane only said that so he could manipulate everyone into exactly the position they wanted him. Kane says after having been in the ring with both Edge and Christian, it’s obvious Christian will NEVER be as good as Edge. Christian stands furious in complete frustration and denial over what Kane has just said. Christian loses control, gets in Kane’s face and shouts at him, before slapping him in the face. Kane’s smile immediately fades as Christian immediately cowers in fear, realising the grave mistake he has just made in the heat of the moment. Kane grabs Christian by the throat and goes to Chokeslam him when Brodus Clay takes out Kane from behind. Brodus picks up Kane and slams him down, laying him out before positioning Kane and nailing him with a Fall of Humanity. Christian then waits for Kane to get back to his feet before nailing him with a shot to the face with the World Heavyweight Championship.
After their altercation the week prior, Kane and Brodus Clay are set for a match on SmackDown.
Kane vs. Brodus Clay - SmackDown (Dec. 10, 2010)
Christian and Brodus Clay take the chance to talk trash before the match in a backstage interview. With Christian hyping up the still undefeated Clay who has won all his matches so far in dominant fashion.
Kane and Brodus both throw hard and heavy shots, with both monsters struggling to outmatch each other. However, Kane manages to prove to be the more powerful monster and has Clay in position for a Chokeslam when Christian sneaks in and gets ready to nail Kane with the World Heavyweight Championship. Kane turns around to a charging Christian who he catches by grabbing Christian by the throat. Kane nails Christian with a Chokeslam before turning around into Clay who has recovered and is charging at Kane. Kane catches Clay by the throat and nails Clay with a Chokeslam, pinning Brodus, getting the win, and handing Clay his first loss since his debut.
As Kane walks up the ramp, he has a microphone and a message for Christian who sits in the corner of the ring, defeated and clutching at his head. Kane tells Christian the reason Kane will win the World Heavyweight Championship at Tables, Ladders & Chairs, is because no matter how hard Christian tries to defeat Kane, Christian will never be as good as Edge. Kane cackles as Christian screams in the ring, protesting to Kane that he is better than Edge ever will be.
Winner: Kane
With the stipulation of Christian and Kane’s World Heavyweight Championship being a Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match, Kane uses this to play further mind games with his opponent. Kane reminds Christian of how him and Edge made the Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match famous. With matches against The Dudley Boyz and The Hardy Boyz that will live on forever. However, as both Edge and Christian became singles stars Edge continued to have notorious Tables, Ladders & Chairs matches against the likes of Ric Flair, John Cena, and even Kane’s depraved son of a b**** brother The Undertaker. However, Christian failed to step up, and proved the only reason he was in those famous Tables, Ladders & Chairs Matches to start with, was because he was riding Edge’s coattails. Christian, furious and insecure, promises he will do what Edge can do, only better and defeat Kane in the stipulation Edge is best known for, and make it his own stipulation. Kane says Christian will never be Edge, and every time he is hit with a chair, sent through a table, or desperately tries to drag his exhausted body up a ladder, let it be a reminder that he will never be as good as Edge.
Christian © w/ Brodus Clay vs. Kane - Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match - World Heavyweight Championship - Tables, Ladders & Chairs (Dec. 19, 2010)
Christian is thrown around the ring by Kane who uses tables, ladders and chairs to beat down the champion. However, Christian hides behind the tables, ladder and chairs, using them to his advantage as a cowardly champion, but also using them as a skilled, smart, innovative champion. Christian gets the better of Kane multiple times with Kane doing the same for himself. Kane then gets the final blow when after some brutal, innovative, high-flying action, Kane Chokelsams Christian through the announcer’s table, laying him out. Kane then re-enters the ring and begins scaling the ladder towards the World Heavyweight Championship. As Kane has the title in his fingertips, Brodus Clay runs out and makes the save tipping the ladder and sending Kane crashing to the mat. Brodus runs over to Christian and tries to wake him up, shaking him and pouring a bottle of water over him. Upon realising Christian is not waking up, Brodus picks up Christian and begins carrying him towards the ring. Before Clay can place Christian in the ring, Kane recovers and makes his way over to Clay, beating him down. Kane gets Clay back in the ring where he Chokeslams the big man through a table. Kane then turns back to the ladder and slowly, groggily scales the ladder once again. As Kane has the title in his fingertips, Christian, with a steel chair in hand, springboards off the ropes and onto the opposite side of the ladder to Kane. The two men battle it out at the top before Christian strikes Kane with the chair so hard, the chair flies out of Christian’s hands and to the floor. Kane loses grip of the ladder and crashes to the mat not far behind the chair before Christian captures the World Heavyweight Championship and wins the match. Christian gets back to the ground and grabs the camera, telling Edge this proves once and for all that anything Edge can do, Christian can do better. Christian tells Edge that tonight he made Tables, Ladders & Chairs his match. Christian kisses the camera and throws it to the ground. With Christian celebrating with his World Heavyweight Championship, the lights go out as a familiar Gong sounds hits. The crowd roars as the lights come back on, revealing The Undertaker who takes out Brodus Clay with a series of shots followed by a Chokeslam. Undertaker then turns to Christian, who is sitting in the corner, clutching his World Heavyweight Championship in fear. Undertaker slowly walks over to Christian who cowers in fear, before the Undertaker motions to Christian that he wants the World Heavyweight Championship, before slitting his throat and celebrating as Christian, frozen in fear, sits clutching World Heavyweight Championship.
Winner: Christian
SmackDown (Dec. 21 - Jan. 28, 2010/11)
With Christian in the ring with Brodus Clay and no Undertaker in sight, Christian seems to have gained all his confidence back and is no longer scared of Undertaker. Christian begins talking to the camera and tells Edge at Tables, Ladders & Chairs he made the Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match his match and defeated Kane. Proving anything Edge can do, Christian can do better. Christian says everyone is finally respecting him as #1 as after defeating the #2 brother, the #1 brother revealed himself and now all the greats want a piece of Christian. Christian says Undertaker is Edge’s greatest rival. Multiple great, iconic matches, and a rivalry Edge ultimately lost. This is Christian’s chance to finally set the record straight once and for all prove that he can do what Edge never could, defeat The Undertaker. The Gong then hits and as the lights go out, so does Christian’s confident persona, and all that’s left is frozen fear. Undertaker slowly makes his way down to the ring before beginning to speak. Undertaker explains the real reason he was at Tables, Ladders & Chairs was for Kane. Undertaker believed Kane would easily defeat a challenger as easy as Christian, then Undertaker could get revenge on his brother for SummerSlam and get back the World Heavyweight Championship. However, Undertaker was surprised when he watched on and Christian won. Christian, insulted and insecure as always and overlooked once again, promises to shock the entire world at Royal Rumble and after it’s all said and done, nobody can deny Christian anymore.
Also in this time, murmurings of Edge’s return begin circulating. Beginning with Christian walking backstage and overhearing superstars talking to each other about it, before growing into the commentators speculating about it as well. Christian clearly becomes paranoid and is seen asking Teddy Long if he knows anything about Edge appearing at the Royal Rumble. Teddy claims he doesn’t know anything about it. All this speculation results in Christian coming to the ring and addressing the rumours. Christian grabs the camera and speaks directly to Edge, saying he’s heard the rumours of Edge’s return at the Royal Rumble. Christian promises Edge if he dares to make a comeback at the Royal Rumble PPV, Christian will send him right back to the hospital bed he put him in. Because Edge doesn’t have a spot here in WWE anymore, Christian stepped up and took that spot, and now Edge is obsolete.
In a match on SmackDown, a paranoid Christian keeps suspiciously looking at a camera man at ringside, believing it may be Edge in disguise. After looking at him one too many times, Christian attacks the camera man, only to reveal it is an innocent man. This distraction results in Christian re-entering the ring and being rolled up and pinned by Kofi Kingston.
With Kofi Kingston having earned a World Heavyweight Championship Match by beating Christian, Christian is clearly paranoid and on the verge of losing his mind. With having to worry about defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Undertaker, a returning Edge, and now defending his World Heavyweight Championship against Kofi Kingston, Christian seems to not be able to handle it, despite it all being the sins of his past catching up to him.
Christian © w/ Brodus Clay vs. Kofi Kingston - World Heavyweight Championship - SmackDown (Jan. 21, 2010)
Christian and Kofi Kingston have a competitive back-and-forth match which Christian wins clean, using his veteran composure and experience to catch Kofi Kingston with a Killswitch and get the win. As Christian is celebrating, Christian looks at the camera and says “this is for you” before going into the corner and running his fingers down his head, before Spearing Kofi Kingston. Christian says he’s not done before he slits his throat and picks up Kofi Kingston for a Tombstone Piledriver. Before he can hit it, the lights go out. When they come back on, Undertaker is in the ring and fights with Christian and Clay. Undertaker takes out Clay and is hit with the World Heavyweight Championship by Christian. Christian laughs and talks to the camera, telling Edge he could never do this to The Undertaker. As Christian goes for the Killswitch, Undertaker counters it into a Tombstone Piledriver. Undertaker celebrates with the World Heavyweight Championship.
Winner: Christian
Christian © w/ Brodus Clay vs. Undertaker - World Heavyweight Championship - Royal Rumble (Jan. 30, 2011)
Christian uses his skill, speed and cunning to get his shots in on Undertaker who otherwise controls the majority of the match. Christian struggles to deal with Undertaker and is being beat down. As Undertaker readies for a Chokeslam, Brodus runs into the ring and goes to attack Undertaker. Undertaker gets the better of Brodus and lays him out with a Chokeslam. Undertaker turns around into a Disaster kick before Christian goes for a Killswitch which Undertaker counters into a Tombstone Piledriver which he hits. As Undertaker goes to pin Christian, Kane’s music hits. Looking for revenge on his brother after Undertaker claimed he was coming for revenge on SmackDown, Kane walks down and goes face-to-face with Undertaker. Kane breaks up the stare down by Big Booting the referee. The two brothers then immediately begin fighting back-and-forth with stiff strikes. Kane gets the better of the more tired Undertaker and goes for a Chokeslam which Undertaker counters before nailing a Chokeslam of his own on Kane. Undertaker turns around into a Killswitch by Christian. The referee slowly recovers as a tired Christian drapes an arm across Undertaker. The referee counts the 1, 2… Undertaker kicks out. As Christian sits in shock, Undertaker sits up. Undertaker takes the fight to Christian, beating him around before grabbing him by the throat. Undertaker goes for a Chokeslam which Christian escapes before going for a Spear. Undertaker dodges, sending Christian into the referee who he Spears instead. Christian turns around into a Tombstone Piledriver followed by a cover. The fans count all the way to 10 but it doesn’t matter as the referee lays lifeless. As Undertaker attempts to revive the referee, Edge’s music hits, finally making his rumoured shocking return. Edge makes his way down and stares down The Undertaker, before going into the corner, ready to Spear Christian. Christian recovers and Edge charges, shockingly changing direction and Spearing Undertaker instead. Christian looks up in fear at Edge who stares back at him. Christian crawls over and covers Undertaker as the referee recovers and counts the 1, 2… and 3. Edge stares as Christian sits in the corner and is handed his World Heavyweight Championship. As Christian slowly and sheepishly gets back to his feet Edge stares him down, Edge nails Christian with a Spear before beating the life out of him. Edge destroys a steel chair on Christian before wrapping it around his neck and going to the second rope, preparing to do the same thing that Brodus did to Edge. However, before Edge does it, Edge stops and walks toward Christian. Picking up the World Heavyweight Championship and taking a look at it, before dropping it and leaving.
Winner: Christian

My ex-husband is already an incel who claims blocking him, trying to end the relationship with him, and divorcing him were abusive and that nobody else should date me since I didn't want to be with him and did these behaviors, which is honestly next to genocidal in its logic that if someone fights you off due to the most rxpey relationship you've ever been in with repeated extremely creepy stalking events, somehow if you actual manage to get away you have every right to slander your survivor as "abusive" and try to prevent other people with being with them in a possessive and jealous narcissistic rage. It's so disgusting and I'm already dealing with that. So the last thing I need is another one but another one I have. He's literally the picture of an incel, switching up on you and betraying you the second you cut off his access to sex and/or a relationship with you, he'll do it for both.
I've been repeatedly, publicly and repeatedly blocking and fighting off through self-defense an incel who is definitely on the offensive trying to prevent me from meeting other people and in places that are not where he should be. Whenever I find him in these places, I aggressively telli him to f*ck off and call him out as a fraud because being nice has not worked anymore. He's in serous narcissistic rage and is going out of his way in the offensive to revenge reject. It's extremely pathetic, and there are a lot of female misogynists in the area that go with it. I'm not interested in any of these people involved with the incel movement. I legitimately agree with the FBI that they're terrorists and I'm a, whenever possible, nonviolent anarchist so that's really, really bad. How do you deal with these enraged incel narcissists who when refused try to get rejection revenge and try to get possessive to make it so I can't meet someone else, yet were too pathetic in the day to get it together in a vulnerable and mature manner since they are a clear and apparent narcissist incel? Can you share stories of them going on the offensive to try to act like they're the one in control of the rejection in the typical incel fashion, but ten times more aggressive, going into spaces where they clearly have no interest or faking being a type to watch who I'm speaking to and try to control it while playing the pathetic card and the plausible deniability card when confronted with this? I believe they've gone so far as to try to prevent me from getting cat litter, which is absolutely disgusting as my cats are the primary sufferers of these incels who are constantly projecting their incel nature on others (including a femcel, potentially two femcels at the cat shelter who might be using appointments to set me up with people unable to understand I'm at a shelter because too many men are the problem, not because I have femcel problems like they do. They keep projecting and one is really vain despite clearly being next to nobody's type and clearly a femcel upset she isn't get laid as often as she wants clearly. My cats are the collateral damage of her being a femcel. These two women show signs of actual mental disability unable to accept that they're projecting and aggressively trying to enforce their version of events in a really disgusting way. They are definitely femcels, using the whole fatphobic line when is often repurposed by femcels as a way to try to argue people into have sex with them, which is just....words cannot describe.)
They've grown so horrifying they're trying to treat public offerings and public spaces like things that have to do with sex and are sexualizing everything in the typical incel way. If you know anything about incels, they believe sex is a right and should be government funded. It's disgusting. So they're equating things like NGOs and public offerings to the incel narrative and it's grown so pathetic and horrific that I actively encourage other people to never move to this state due to the gross incompetence in dealing with this. They've grown so desperate to revenge reject that they're trying to equivocate online with professional, they can't take rejection that bad. It's grown truly horrific.
We have a notoriously grossly incompetent GA who is responsible for investigating it who rather is actively enabling it and mostly everyone who finds out about who he really is agrees he needs to be removed. How have you dealt with these scenarios in the past?
I'm talking clearly going out of their way to reject someone who has repeatedly expressed 0 interest in them publicly and vocally, aka, incel based rejection revenge with all the trappings of projection of their incel motive as well when my situation literally keeps getting worse blocking and reporting men unfit to be my partner due to entitlement and immaturity who think they are.
Restraining orders don't work here as the general complaint is the cops and courts aren't intelligent enough for it. Apparently cops that aren't smart are specifically hired as part of the big money infestation of this place (I live in Washington, Microsoft and Amazon have an interest in cops being less than smart to facilitate illegal crap they do such as the Epstein case and allowing human trafficking to drive in software engineers who can't have sex otherwise....obviously this would all end if there was actually a strong crackdown on it and these creepier tech types would never come in to begin with).

My first attempt at writing a completely original piece of fiction, and my first attempt at a story post on this sub. Completely freehanding this.
I hope you all like it, because I do have plans to make this a series. Enjoy!
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-- RNS Defender, Drydock A16, Astarine Outpost, Condrilina System --
A Joint Task Force was a prestigious posting, desired by almost every serving being in the United Systems Republic (USR) Military, be it Army, Navy, or Expeditionary Corp.
A coalition of the most elite from every species that can make the cut, it was the best place to get some intense action in the frontlines and a quick promotion to go with it. Every species, be it peaceworlders, roughworlders, or warworlders, wants at least one representative in a JTF.
Ilinara was proud to be the one to finally put the Masitari on the list. Originating from a warworld with 1.93 standard Gs, she had a massive advantage over most of the other recruits.
She was just below average height at [1.78m], but her warworld evolutionary traits, such as her heighten senses or retractable claws, kept her one step ahead throughout training and selection. Her fur was thick enough to keep her warm at night and short enough to not overheat her in the field.
There were few warworlders throughout the 25 JTFs, only because they were so rare to begin with, and she was the only one in JTF-7, the only one onboard the Defender, even. One warworlder amongst a group of roughworlders and peaceworlders.
Despite being junior enlisted when she got to the squad, the others looked to her for advice in the field, and she was always eager to help out. Of course she was, joining the USR was all about integration and friendly relations, and joining a JTF meant getting a new family. Of course she would want to help.
Besides, her stellar service got her a spot here, and she was eager to prove herself.
But now? Now, for the first time in her 11 standard cycles in the Navy, Ilinara wished that her service was just a little less stellar.
"Respectfully, sir? What the fuck!?"
Rear Admiral Stefnar, a stern, hardened Rivkalak veteran, looked as shaken as she was. "I almost said the same thing to the Fleet Admiral myself, Chief Mitali. Almost."
Ilinara took a beat to keep her voice from cracking and stomped on her own tail to keep it from swinging all over the place. "Sir.... they're Terrans."
"I'm well aware."
"Terrans, sir!"
The admiral slammed a giant scaled claw onto the table. "I'm well aware of what they are, and what they've done, Ilinara. I'm well aware of the history. But orders are orders, and Secretary General Alvarez has been pushing for this since she got elected and the Admiralty has conceded. You, as our only shipboard warworlder, will be expected to help them acclimate to our ship."
At her look of distress, he chittered, his people's version of a sigh. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I really am, but this is happening. Nothing you and I can do about it."
She whined, a low, lilting sound in the back of her throat, to vent her frustrations. "I understand, sir. Thanks for notifying me beforehand." With that, and a smart salute, she left for her quarters.
Fucking- why!? And why them!? Sure, she was from a warworld, but how did they expect her to handle not just one, but six deathworlders??
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For the longest time, everyone thought that warworlders were the apex of the galaxy's evolution, as far as spacefaring species were concerned at least. Surely they couldn't get any more dangerous than a species that evolved in environments so extreme most beings would struggle to even spend a day in? Surely there was nowhere to go from there, not without driving themselves to extinction?
Sure, there were deathworlds, but they were tucked away neatly in the outer arms of the galaxy, never to create sapience because they were all so fucking violent and hostile. Not just the planets, but the fauna too. They'd kill each other before ever discovering what a tool was.
That was the theory, and a universally accepted one.
And then they found Terrans.
They called themselves Humans at first. Parliament was understandably shocked. To find sapience on a deathworld was one thing. To find a fully formed and (somewhat) functioning society? Unthinkable. Incredible.
Terrifying.
There was fierce debates over what to do with the Humans. Some said they should uplift them, bring them to the stars so they could contribute to the USR. Others wanted to leave them be. They've never sent one of their own past the moon, and with their destructive nature they'd be extinct long before making it to intersystem travel.
The Crevtons attacked Terra before anyone could make a decision.
A particularly cruel and powerful species of hive-minded warworlders, their military bared down on the deathworld, gunning for resources and slave labor. After all, an unsuspecting species numbering at over 8 billion? Perfect for 'recruitment drives'.
The Terrans drove them back. Every. Single. Ship. They decimated a Crevton fleet and chased down the rest, destroying one shuttle after another with an efficiency that spoke of a species honed not just by hostile environments, but by warfare. Their weaponry, while primitive in design, were all devastatingly destructive in nature, to the point where USR Regulators banned them from ever leaving the Sol System.
Parliament was relieved that they wouldn't have to interfere, and maybe this would get the Crevtons to see sense, to see that conquest wasn't the way forward, and to join the USR and adopt its ideals.
16 cycles after the failed invasion, the Humans nuked Crevto Prime.
Testimony from the Terran ambassador later on said that they never meant to burn the planet's crust. They were just trying to deter further invasions by crippling the Crevton military power. One nuke sent to their largest base, that was all.
They never thought that uranium would ignite the atmosphere in such a way. Never thought that the 'detergence package' they sent down would be an extinction-level event for the Crevton people.
The galaxy watched in horror as Crevto Prime, once a lush but dangerous warworld, died a slow, agonizing death.
A quarantine was ordered. It was swiftly ignored. A particularly rowdy and stupid group of academy pledges from Nimlak-7 were challenged into making contact with a Human scouting ship surveying the outer edges of the Nimla System at the time.
They all died, every single one of them. That part wasn't shocking. It was how they died that was the curious part.
According to autopsy and later testimony from the deathworlders themselves, the pledges died from severe ethanol poisoning, drinking a Human beverage called a 'beer'.
And that was how Humans, later calling themselves 'Terrans', became aware of the USR. No big discovery, no First Contact Protocol, no great war. Nope, a bunch of stupid pledges led them straight to the rest of the galaxy.
It took a few cycles of back and forth probing, but they eventually extended a hand in peace, and Parliament accepted. Terra became the newest planet in the USR, and Terrans became the first, and so far only, sapient deathworld species in the galaxy.
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Ilinara grumbled as she read the debrief. Six Terrans, all military, all handpicked from elite units. Wait, elite units? Their infantry were elite by intergalactic standards! What the fuck were elite Terrans supposed to be like?
Regardless, it was complete Kravak shit is what it was. Lieutenant Commander Thuriam was next in line for command, not some random Terran, no matter how elite. Oh, she was not looking forward to breaking that news.
Her commlink chimes. Unknown code. She denied the call.
Another call. Same code.
Ilinara growled and answered. "Listen, whatever scam you fucks are trying to pull, I'm not interested in playing along. Got it?"
A beat of silence on the other side, then a smooth, rough chuckled sounded in her ear, a sound that made her tensed up instinctively, her senses screaming 'danger' at her.
"Now, is that any way to start a conversation with your new CO, Chief Mitali?"
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Well, hope you've all enjoyed my first foray into writing something for this subreddit. My first time building an original universe, really. There will be more (hopefully) once I have time to write more. I fully intend to explore this story further, and I hope to see you guys with me.
Good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight!

So I’m 21 and have had to restart socially since I was about 19. I had a really shitty friend group in highschool that ended up backstabbing me, and coming out of COVID and into uni, I had to start from scratch.
I’ve ended up making quite a few friends, when I’m on campus I really feel like I have a community and see people I know in the halls often. However, when it switches to spring and summer break, my circle tightens up and I usually end up seeing about 3-4 people regularly.
Out of those people, the two closest and my two good friends: one well call Jane and the other we’ll call Jessica.
I was with Jane today and we were discussing what we’d like to do for our birthdays. I shared that I feel too much pressure on birthdays and prefer to keep it lowkey. Jane asked who I’d invite and I was honest in telling her that it would prob just be her and my friend Jessica. I don’t like big parties for myself, and want the day to be low stress. When I asked Jane who she’d invite she listed about six people.
I instantly felt embarrassed and ashamed. I told her I felt a bit embarrassed and didn’t want her thinking of me as some big loser. She said she didn’t at all, but deep down I felt embarrassed because now I feel like she views me as more dependent on her or something. We then started talking about another friend she has, and she mentioned “oh yea, he’s only friends with me and my other friend”… I said “oh Jane, see this is why I didn’t want to mention anything about my birthday.. I now feel really embarrassed and like you think I have no friends”. And she was like “no I don’t think that. This friend is happy with having two friends and that’s just how he is “. I just want help but feel like if her instinct was to make fun of her other friend who only has two close friends, would I not be someone she’d say something similar about behind my back …
I don’t want it to feel like a friend competition but it kinda does and it’s made me feel really vulnerable and weird. Like I shared a dirty secret or something. Why is it so embarrassing to admit you don’t have a lot of friends. It’s like a catch 22, you need friends to make friends but if you don’t have friends how do you make friends. I have friends but I feel like it’ll never be enough and will have people wondering why I don’t have more or why my social circles isn’t as developed. I’m a survivor of cptsd and childhood and teenage bullying and abuse, but it’s hard to paint that picture without looking like some big clueless victim or even the problem. It’s just hard to start fresh and I feel like I’ll always be behind since everyone already has childhood and highschool friends.
I think that’s why my birthday is notoriously hard because I don’t like a visual representation of the slacking social circle that I have.

Hi everyone! I recently rescued a beautiful little female Dachshund. The only issue is she was dumped by her breeder and therefor, did not get the proper training she needed as a puppy. She is one and a half years old and while she has the sweetest temperament and is really good with other dogs (little and small) and people, we're struggling to potty train her. We knew before getting that the breed is notoriously hard to toilet train, and this is not my first rodeo with a stubborn dog. But I am not so proud as to say I don't need help. If anyone has some tips on how to potty train an adult Dachshund, I would be eternally grateful. She's fine going peeing in the yard during the day when its warm, but night time is where the problems start. We stay out there with her for over an hour and she WILL NOT go, but 5 mins after we get back inside, she goes. We're going to opt to potty train her inside at night (with a fake grass potty mat) and see if that makes a difference but we're very big on NOT using punishment as a means or correcting this behavior, so if anyone knows any way to POSITIVELY correct a bad behavior, I would love to know. This is what we've done so far:

• Sat in the back yard during the day with her until she goes potty, then reward the behavior with treats and praise.
  
• Got her a warm coat for winter nights (I live in Australia where its winter currently) so she can stay warm while going potty this has yet to prove effective.
  
• Purchased a fake grass potty mat for when it's raining or too cold, since she won't go at night right now.
  
• Stayed outside with her on the potty matt and using treats/encouragement (she still hasn't used it).
  

We're now planning on trying to potty train her inside at night to see if it makes a difference, but I was wondering if boots would help if she just doesn't like the wet grass? Any (KIND) constructive criticisms or advice is welcome.
But I do just want to say we did extensive research before we adopted her, conventional methods aren't proving effective though.

I came across a Singapore youtuber Jianhao Tan, Whose primary audience are kids and teenagers, advertising a gambling website and i would like to bring forth a discussion about the moral obligations of youtubers.
In this youtuber particular video, he accepted the sponsorship of a notorious gambling website called drakemall and does an entire video gambling on this website. It is notable to point out that this person is a part of JianHao's team and as JianHao's viewer demographic are largely kids and teenagers, such action brings this person's moral and ethics into question. Drakemall offers mystery box that you can buy, with real cash, in exchange for random items that you can either sell back to the website or to be delivered to you. The cost of these mystery box ranges from a few cents to a few hundred dollars; and it is very unlikely that you will profit as per any gambling games (bacarrat, slots, etc.) the odds are always in the favour of the house. Additionally, such odds in these kind of mystery box shady websites are not transparent. Many famous international youtuber such as RiceGum was condemned for accepting such sponsorship, so why is our local youtuber doing the very same act?
For starters, this is highly immoral as all casinos around the world require you to be of 21 as you would have the mental capacity to be responsible for your actions, losses and finances. Drakemall disguised itself as a "for-fun" website with it's colourful background and childish product you could obtain. There is NO regulation from signing up and play; and that is highly dangerous for the impressionable teenagers or kids. I tried signing up and it was easy with a simple few clicks of the button. While it does states on the website that you need to be of 18 years old, this is way hidden on the bottom of the page and is likely done for legal protection of the website. The manifestation of impressionable teenagers are evident in the comment section, where majority of the comments are in favour of his actions.
The worse part of all is that he lured his audience into watching his video by promising free giveaways and he incessantly recommends his audience to sign up for a VIP account on this website. As mentioned, this is highly unethical and unacceptable to be preying on his uninformed audiences, whom i like to remind again, are kids and teenagers. Reading through most of the comment, i came across a comment that says he had lost $60 on the website. From his nickname, he is likely an uninformed kid.
**ʂყɬɧɛ Gaming _**2 weeks ago
I tried wasted 60Sgd Bought vip but still get nothing good
Such mystery box opening websites are, no doubt, gambling and there have been a significant amount of documentaries (search t-martn) and youtuber video exposing them. Such website runs rampage and as soon as they are reported and removed, dozens more website appears. This is the modus operandi of Drakemall who originally started their mystery box opening with CSGO skins under the name of drakemoon, iirc, and it eventually shut down due to lawsuit from Valve. The reason why these mystery box advertising are unethical and misleading is because when these website owners approach youtuber for advertising, they offers a huge sum of money and heavily skews the odds for unboxing expensive stuff for the youtuber (this is explained and exposed from the documentaries). This then gives the audience the impression that it is very easy to unbox expensive stuff and 'win big' for themselves too. But as mentioned, the odds of all the loots available in the mystery box are not transparent. This modus operandi is very evident in the aforementioned youtuber's video, whereby he easily unbox an iphone x easily, and coupled with impressionable kids, such advertisement is highly dangerous.
So, i would like to question the moral obligation of this youtuber in the product they advertise. They accepted such immoral advertisement knowingly that their audience are kids. What's more, i believed that this particular youtuber lacks no offers from sponsorship given his popularity for being JianHao's member. Unfortunately, greed got better of this person.
As we transition into a cashless society, teenagers and kid often see little inherent value in tangible cash and more through branded products, this allures them to start gambling at these websites. Being a youtuber and an aspiring role model to many, he should be using his position to educate his audience for the better.

In no particular order, songs about death, grief, and loss. This is where I’m supposed to put something to make the post less heavy like “lol,” so—lol. What songs would you add?
Mount Eerie - “Real Death”
Songs:Ohia - “Farewell Transmission”
The Raincoats - “The Void”
Johnny Mandel - “Suicide Is Painless”
Rasputina - “A Quitter”
The Wipers - “Potential Suicide”
Mark Kozelek - “My Friend Bob”
Vic Chestnutt - “Flirted With You All My Life”
Evangelista - “I Lay There In Front Of Me Covered In Ice”
Low - “Silver Rider”
Elliott Smith - “Twilight”
Carissa’s Wierd - “So You Wanna Be A Superhero”
Suicide - “Frankie Teardrop”
Leonard Cohen - “Dress Rehearsal Rag”
Lou Reed - “The Bed”
Red House Painters - “Michael”
Lifelover - “Sweet Illness of Mine”
The Jim Carroll Band - “People Who Died”
Violent Femmes - “Country Death Song”
Slowdive - “So Tired”
Jesus and Mary Chain - “Cut Dead”
Notorious BIG - “Suicidal Thoughts”
Bob Dylan - “Not Dark Yet”
Townes Van Zandt - “Waiting Around To Die”
Billie Holiday - “Gloomy Sunday”
Strawberry Switchblade - “Beautiful End”
Adolescents - “Losing Battle”
Zounds - “Did He Jump Or Was He Pushed”
The Smiths - “Asleep”
Gravediggaz - “1-800-SUICIDE”
Nick Drake - “River Man”
Bonnie Prince Billy - “I See A Darkness”
Richard & Linda Thompson - “When I Get To The Border” (that’s how I’ve always interpreted it anyway)
Coil - “Going Up”
Purple Mountains - “Nights That Won’t Happen”
The Cure - “Fear Of Ghosts”
True Widow - “Duelist”
Antony & The Johnsons - “Hope There’s Someone”
Hot Snakes - “Suicide Invoice”
Ed’s Redeeming Qualities - “My Friend Bob”
DMX - “Look Thru My Eyes”
Low - “Silver Rider”
Sun Kil Moon - “Truck Driver”
Jenny Hval - “Death Of The Author”
Nina Nastasia - “In The Graveyard”
Lucinda Williams - “Sharp Cutting Wings (Song To A Poet)”
PJ Harvey - “Missed”
Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter - “I’M GETTING OUT WHILE I CAN”
Emma Ruth Rundle - “Heaven”
Mazzy Star - “Look On Down From The Bridge”
Pygmy Lush - “The Boys Of Swift Creek Reservoir”
Gillian Welch - “The Way It Goes”
Sinéad O’Connor - “You Cause As Much Sorrow”
Anyone think another Low song would be a better fit? There were so many to choose from, same goes for Songs:Ohia, Purple Mountains, Elliott Smith, and Mark Kozelek. Obviously I smuggled some in under different band names.
Looking for suggestions!

Race Information

• Name: Tartan Ottawa International Marathon
• Date: May 26, 2024
• Distance: 42.2km
• Location: Ottawa, Ontario
• Website: https://www.runottawa.ca/
• Time: 3:23:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 3:30	Yes
B	Sub 3:20	No
C	New PB	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time
1	4:59
2	4:49
3	4:49
4	4:47
5	5:12
6	4:47
7	4:46
8	4:52
9	4:39
10	4:40
11	4:42
12	4:37
13	4:36
14	4:40
15	4:39
16	4:37
17	4:39
18	4:35
19	4:45
20	4:34
21	4:42
22	4:34
23	4:32
24	4:36
25	4:37
26	4:46
27	4:37
28	4:35
29	4:47
30	4:48
31	4:34
32	4:45
33	4:51
34	5:02
35	4:43
36	4:54
37	4:40
38	4:54
39	4:56
40	5:08
41	5:07
42	4:56
43	4:50

Training

27M, with one marathon ran back in October 2023 (Toronto Waterfront Marathon) with a 3:58:XX finish. At the time, I had little knowledge to properly train for a marathon and felt that I could deliver better results with a proper training block. Took a couple of months off running, due to school, but begun to train by the start of 2024.
One of my new year resolutions was to start running with others, where I joined Blacktoe Running for their Sunday long runs. These long runs consisted 25-30km+, with a deload week every month & made running more enjoyable towards the end of the week. These long runs were complemented with a couple of easy runs + one medium speed workout each week for 18 weeks (2 weeks of taper). Luckily, I was able to include marathon pacing into a few long runs, which I had not included into prior training. Total mileage increased monthly from 195km(Jan), 319km(Feb), 381km(Mar), 354km(Apr), 240km (May). Weekly mileage averaged to about ~80-85km before the taper with a peak week of 105km.
Fortunately, I had the time to maintain strength training with one lower body session per week. This consisted with a mix of squats, deadlifts, bulgarian split squats, RDL's, calf raises, monster walks, etc.
Shoe rotation consisted of Nike Zoomfly 5's for easy/recovery runs, Adidas Boston 12's for easy/tempo/long runs, and the Nike Vaporfly 2's (that I thrifted for $60 new) for long runs in later weeks. Also, decided to use the Alphafly 2's after putting in 80km and unfortunately having to cut part of the insole to avoid the notorious arch blisters that most runners experience.
Nutrition consisted of Maurten 100/160's and fast chews during long runs, and Liquid IV for hydration before and during runs. However, I tried to avoid excessively using gels with how expensive they are.
I had only raced one 10k during this build with a 40:4X finish, 2 weeks out from the marathon. This led me to believe that I was able to run a 3:20-3:30 marathon. At the beginning of May, I started to get accustomed to waking up at 5am ,as there were multiple weeks of hot & humid temperatures leading up to the race.

Pre-race

Arrived in Ottawa on Friday and ran a final 6k shakeout run, and picked up my bib on Saturday. The expo experience was fine, and thankfully did not end up spending any money. Unfortunately, I signed up for a shakeout run, however I was unable to attend, due to poor scheduling on my part of attending the expo first. Sometimes less is more, so it wasn't a huge deal breaker. I had carb loaded 3 days prior consisting of overnight oats, bagels, pasta, and pizza. I did not get good sleep during the week with 4-6havg.
One of my friends/teammates(will refer him as M) that I trained with since the start of this year, decided to stay with me Saturday evening & travel to the start line together. We both verbally agreed to try to stay beside each other for a long as possible, but would move on forward if one of us bonked later on. It was a special race for him as this was his first ever marathon.
Woke up at 4:00am, consumed a bagel with peanut butter & a banana, and drank one cup of coffee and 500ml of water mixed with Liquid IV. Put on my race kit & got dropped off to the starting line. I did feel that I would be a tad over hydrated and had to use the washroom multiple times before the race.
For nutrition, I brought 4 Maurten 100's & 4 GO Gels to be taken every 30 minutes, and 21 salt chews to be taken every 40 min or when my legs started to cramp.
The weather at the start was pleasant, at about 14 degrees with overcast for most of the race.
The first gel was taken 15 min prior to start time, and lined up just behind the 3:20 and 3:25 pace bunnies. After a delay and the elites set off, the 2nd wave started around 7:15am.

Race

1-5K
As with most big marathons, the 1st km was very congested and tried to avoid weaving as much as possible. M & I agreed to start the race conservatively at a strict 4:50/km pace for the first 10-16km, and quickly got settled in. Unfortunately, I had a creeping urge to pee early on and followed what others did by running towards a bush *oops sorry* around the 5k mark.
5-15k
Much of this time was playing catch up to M, as he was just 200m ahead. The farm area was actually pleasant & 1st time around to see the other runners, which was definitely motivating to know that 3:20 was within reach after passing the 3:25 pace group. At this point, I was going 10-15sec faster than what was planned, but was fairly flat & downhill. As I finally caught up with M, he decided to push the pace and lost him for the 2nd time.
16-25k
Man, this part of the race was electric. There were crowd support on both sides of the road and running past parliament hill was probably one of the highlights. Every minute I heard someone scream 'GO BLACKTOE" to my surprise, and evidently helped with my fastest splits during this period. Again, I caught up with M & we crossed the half together by pumping up the crowd.
26-32k
This was when I started to feel both of my VMO's cramp, and started to panic. I ended up taking 9 fast chews within a 20 min period, which which somewhat help to not fully seize and bonk. Also, it did not help seeing the other runners faces & form starting to struggle on the Rockcliffe Parkway as they reached the 30k point. Unfortunately, this was when I dropped and last saw M, as he was experiencing pain in both legs. This was also the closest point to the 3:20 pace group as they turned back into the Rockcliffe.
33-37k
Those Rockcliffe hills were brutal. I started to have doubts if I could sustain my pace and the thought of running a sub 3:20 was slipping away. My quads were pounding & it was all a mental game. I was glad with all of the crowd support that still helped me push through.
38-Finish
As we left Rockcliffe, the crowd support started to increase again. I just told myself "release all you have left in the tank". However, it was not enough time to recover & around 39km was when the half marathon runners merged together. It was very difficult to have to weave again for the last couple of km & thats when the sun decided to show up. I looked down towards my watch with 2km left, having run 3:12:XX. The last 2km felt the longest stretch of the whole marathon, but I got to soak it all in with both my hands high and on both my feet.

Post-race

Immediately stopped my watch and saw 42.72km, which was very surprising. I guess I spent those extra 500m weaving. I walked over to the hydration station and drank about 8 cups of water. I waited about 10 minutes for M, but after seeing the 2:00 & 2:15 half marathon pacers, I felt that something had happened. I decided to get my medal and meet up with him post race when I got a call from the medical staff that he had to be wheel chaired off, once he crossed the finish line.
After half an hour, I was able to reach him where medical staff had been helping participants. We hugged each other as it was a special moment for having just run his first marathon. We were instructed to walk for awhile before he could be discharged & received his medal afterwards.
We met up with my family afterwards and ate AYCE sushi as a celebration for what was an amazing weekend in Ottawa. I would definitely recommend this spring race as an experience, although its notoriously known to be called "Hottawa". The weather conditions were actually decent compared to previous years, although it did get very warm towards the finish. It was well organized & the crowd support did not disappoint at all. Ended up with a 35min PB and will look to build upon this going into the summefall.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.