1. The Bat in the Belfry - 3/5 (In terms of a Batman introduction episode, this does a decent job. It skips the origin story because superhero cartoons are allergic to them for some reason. But this at least vaguely alludes to Bruce's parents being gone, on top of introducing the struggle of being both a famous playboy and the Batman. As a result, the story is fairly generic though. Joker wants to release a laughing gas across Gotham. Gee, I haven't seen that one a dozen times. That said, this iteration of Joker has a really unique and wacky design. Along with zany acrobatic moves that are fun to watch and a great performance from Kevin Michael Richardson, it more than makes up for the subpar story. I also liked the side focus on Bennett and Fa Mulan- Sorry, Detective Yin. They're fun characters.)
2. Call of the Cobblepot - 3/5 (Penguin is quite acrobatic for a pudgy little guy. Alongside Rupert Thorne doing parkour in the previous episode, it seems the show wants to sell me on the idea that these chubby guys are just as combat capable as the Batman. And did they really have to give him the Danny DeVito hands? That's not a mandate anymore! I liked Alfred getting involved in this episode, though he doesn't really do much besides go to the Cobblepot manor. But it's funny that he does so in search of a tray.)
3. Traction - 4/5 (Colorful iteration of Bane. Why is his skin all red? He looks like a monster. But it's a cool twist on the character, so whatever. Although his motivations don't match up to the rad design, since after getting paid to destroy the Batman, all he wants to do is "take over Gotham", which he apparently thinks will be accomplished by just wreaking havoc. What is this, The Spectacular Spider-Man? I did like Alfred having to come and rescue Bruce, and the cute flashback where Alfred comforts him.)
4. The Cat and the Bat - 3/5 (This one's good, but mostly for the action setpieces. I think the rugged artstyle lends itself very well to snappy action, particularly the final scene with the Batman and Catwoman against the Yakuza. And the stuff before with Batman having to catch up to Selina messing with his Batmobile controls was neat too. But I can't say Catwoman leaves much of an impression on me in this one.)
5. The Man Who Would Be Bat - 4/5 (Kirk Langstrom as a character works pretty well as a kooky old man. I liked the visuals for his echolocation. As for the actual story...I mean it's just a typical Man-Bat story. Langstrom becomes the Man-Bat and goes crazy, so Batman stops him. But I did like the larger inclusion of Bennett and Yin, as I like their additions in this show as foils-yet-vaguely-allies to Batman.)
6. The Big Chill - 3/5 (So in this show Mr. Freeze is just another generic jewel thief. Not that I want this series to just copy paste Batman: The Animated Series, but simplifying the villains like this makes it less compelling by default. In fact here, he was always a criminal, he just happened to get ice powers. That said, his design is actually quite rad, and I did like the addition that he has a vendetta against the Batman. Plus it's funny that he took revenge on a random hobo, just for being in his way a few years ago.)
7. The Big Heat - 4/5 (Gee, I bet the writers thought they were hilarious putting these two titles next to each other. I'd say what this episode does slightly better than the others is showing the "struggle" of balancing the Bruce life with the Batman life. And actually giving the villain a narrative connection to it, instead of his schemes just serving as a vague lesson to learn. Firefly himself had a pretty cool looking suit, and the sky action was pretty nifty. Plus it was cathartic when Batman took him down to ground level and stomped. Nitpick: They forgot to animate Batman's mouth in the reflection of the puddle. I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.)
8. Q&A - 4/5 (Bruce listening to hiphop in his earbuds at a classical music theatre... Yeah this sure is a unique Batman. This is the first episode where I was genuinely interested in the story and villain. For starters, since they didn't immediately show me who it was, I got to remain curious about the kidnappings. Then I appreciated that they were connected to a personal vendetta rather than just wanting to steal jewels. I think Batman discovered the mystery a bit too quickly though. He didn't research the victims connections, he just clicked a button and the Batwave did it for him. But I enjoyed Cluemaster. Funny design. He's HUGE. I chuckled at Batman casually walking into his his moms house and her thinking she's his friend. And I thought it was fun how he defeated Cluemaster by asking the Batman's identity. Side note, that is an enormous basement.)
9. The Big Dummy - 4/5 (Wow, it's Homer Simpson! Well actually, Scarface sounds more like Krusty the Clown when he's yelling. That aside, we're back to villains just wanting to steal stuff for profit. Yeah, sure, whatever. Scarface trying to slap Batman was funny, though. And I found the idea of making him a huge puppet where Wesker himself takes the puppet position by the giant arm a funny twist on the character. The vague subplot about Bruce having a date with some Becky chick feels kind of tacked on and unnecessary, but I digress.)
10. Topsy Turvy - 4/5 (First "villain comes back for revenge" episode. Joker's plan is unfortunately fairly generic, but his zaniness still makes it fun. Not to mention seeing the Batman locked in an Arkham cell and dressing up as Joker. Why did Batman lock in the guard when leaving though? Rude for no reason. Also, I'm glad the fake Joker in this episode had to stay quiet so he won't be found out, unlike in The New Batman Adventures where a goon dressed up as Joker can just perfectly imitate his voice.)
11. Bird of Prey - 4/5 (Okay, I'm just gonna say it: Stop showing front facing Alfred! Without that little patch of visible hair, he looks completely bald, and it's weird! That aside, I guess after the series of villain introduction episodes, it's time for a batch of sequels. This is the better sequel than the Joker one, since I liked that Penguin had a clear cut motive. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Penguin's zaniness was more amusing. No doubt helped by Tom Kenny's performance. Him wreaking havoc around Wayne Manor and harassing Alfred was just funny. And it made Alfred hitting him with a chair in the end better. I thought his rooftop battle with the Batman was pretty creative, and I liked that Alfred dressed up as Batman to fool the journalist. Also how he intentionally kicked their video tape into the fire.)
12/13. The Rubber Face of Comedy/The Clayface of Tragedy - 4/5 (The cops literally have Joker at gunpoint but they let him proceed with his slow getaway. I'm starting to understand why Batman keeps one-upping them. Great two-parter though, but part 1 is really nothing but setup for the real meat which is part 2. Part 1 is just about Joker causing chaos again, except the tone is more dramatic on account of this being meant to be more serious than the average episode. And while Joker's antics are fun, given how little it had to do with part 2 other than him being the cause for Bennett becoming Clayface, they didn't really need to spend a WHOLE episode for just that setup. It results in part 1 being just good, while part 2 is fantastic. Sadly, combined, I can't give them 5/5. But part 2 gets that honorary score for itself. You could have cut Joker's generic havoc-wreaking in half and have the Clayface transformation start around the 10 minute mark of part 1, leaving you with about 30 minutes to develop it further. But then they couldn't have that cliffhanger, now could they?
As for the actual story... Depressing. I'd say it's a bit early to change the status quo of Bennett since while he is a good character, we haven't really seen MUCH of him, so it's not a huge blow to suddenly make him a villain. But it's a pretty good, genuinely saddening twist regardless. And while the emotional moments feel a little hurried (hence why you could have cut some Joker nonsense) I think they're effective enough. Yin crying, etc. And Bennett's transformation itself is genuinely horrifying stuff, so you really feel the fear he must be going through.)
14. The Cat, the Bat, and the Very Ugly - 3/5 (And now we're on villain team-up episodes. Except they're still just generic stories about them wanting to steal stuff! Well, okay, I guess Penguin DOES want to use the relics to... I don't know, blow stuff up? It just isn't very riveting is all. I do find Batman and Catwoman being stuck to each other interesting in theory, but they don't really do much fun with it. And why did Batman lie to Yin about it? I guess he's worried he'll look suspicious if he's with Catwoman, but also, he could have just told the truth? The lie just incriminated him more. I also question this because the episode ends with Yin TRUSTING Batman, which makes no sense if she literally caught him in a lie the FIRST time she called him about a case.)
15. Riddled - 3/5 (That's certainly a unique version of Riddler. I respect it, simply because it's fun that the show dares to completely revamp characters like this. But the episode itself is mostly just decent. Yin and Bats going across town solvring riddles is mildly fun, but the actual confrontation with Riddler is just okay. I did like the 20 questions game, but couldn't Batman easily get out of that by not answering? I found it funny how dense the Police Chief was to understand even the simplest riddles, especially with how bluntly Yin had to explain the last one. Side note: Riddler uses the term "brainiac" in this. But that term exists because of the Superman character. So has a Brianiac attack on Metropolis happened here and been made publicly known or what?)
16. Fire & Ice - 4/5 (Gee, with a title like that, I sure was scratching my head wondering which two villains it could be about. I'd say while this episode is good, it felt a bit thinly set up as nothing but "what if ice villain with fire villain??". I did find it amusing that they turned on each other near the end and the conflict just became Heat vs. Cold. That scene with Yin yapping about knowing Bruce's secret though... Give me a break. Even if they WERE gonna have her find out his secret identity, that's most certainly saved for a Serious:tm: season finale or something with heavy stakes, not a random Firefly episode.)
17. The Laughing Bat - 4/5 (Golden concept for an episode. Joker trying to imitate the Batman is unhinged and hilarious. And Penguin being caught in the crossfire completely discombobulated by the switcheroo was great. Praise aside, I was a little disappointed that Batman turning into Joker didn't go further than...he can't stop laughing. Couldn't have Joker-ified him any more? White skin? ANYTHING else to have him also vaguely look the part? Overall I also felt there was too much focus on Bruce laughing as opposed to Joker being the Batman, when that was the best part.)
18. Swamped - 3/5 (While I appreciate that this is a villain introduction episode that goes beyond them being a jewel thief", Croc wasn't too interesting. He wants to flood Gotham because he likes water, but then Batman stops him. Although I liked the way he did it by forcing him to stay in water. :ohgood: Also neat that this episode introduces the Batcave "museum". This series gradually introducing all of these iconic aspects of Batman lore as opposed to having it all pre-established is fun.)
19. Pets - 4/5 (Season 2 really IS the season of villain team-ups. I was rolling my eyes at the prospect of another generic Penguin episode of him wanting to steal stuff, but got my excitement back up when they showed Langstrom. Although they could have devoted some more time to Langstrom actually being aware of Penguin's scheme and wanting out instead of just... One. And overall, it IS just another episode where Penguin tries to steal stuff, so yeah.)
20. Meltdown - 4/5 (Wow, this was JUST like the Batman Beyond episode "Meltdown". While a good episode, I have to say the Bennett-Clayface conflict feels a bit forced at times. Him repeatedly getting into encounters with Joker, the very man who caused him to become Clayface, and struggling with not morphing to take his rightful revenge? Valid. Understandable. But him randomly being willing to kill Batman and become an outlaw on a whim? I don't know. His fight scene against Joker on stilts was pretty fun though. That said, Bennett is a good guy and all that, so I'm hopeful for a redemption arc where in the end he becomes a superhero with his powers.)
21. JTV - 4/5 (It's another Joker shenanigans episode. What is there to say? Not that that's a bad thing, since Joker shenanigans ARE fun. He concocts some nutty TV show-themed scheme, and then Batman stops him. Cash was a bit of an annoying inclusion though. Did he even serve any narrative purpose? I guess he vaguely emphasizes how well Yin and Batman work together, by him working badly with her. I did like the "animated" JTV promo. But who even made that? I guess one of Joker's henchmen can animate.)
22. Ragdolls to Riches - 4/5 (Oh boy, the umpteenth episode about a villain stealing some jewels. Wait, it's TWO villains this time. Wow, this changes everything! Jokes aside, it actually kind of does, because Ragdoll is entertaining enough on his own. His costume is cool and unique in its simplicity, and his distorting body leads to some very expressive movements and action which make for a fun watch. And if that wasn't enough, his rivarly with Catwoman and repeatedly trolling her on purpose was pretty darn amusing. Though despite being the titular character, the episode is mostly about the Bruce/Batman/Selina/Catwoman mystery. It is fun seeing the "4" of them interact and not realize who the other is. Especially when Batman, the world's greatest detective, believes Selina's blatant charity scam and hands her a huge check. It's funny seeing Bruce be this oblivious.)
23. The Butler Did It - 3/5 (Another flipping jewel thievery episode! At least there's a mystery element to it this time, in that you initially don't know who the villain is. And when you do find out it's Spellbinder, there's the twist that he swaps his mind control targets from butlers to their employers. And it was really fun to see Alfred be the one to figure this out and escape the room he put himself in to save Batman's ass. I liked the bit where Batman hesitated to punch Alfred. And I think some of the hallucinations were fairly creative. That said, it was still a jewel thievery episode! Get some new plots, show.)
24. Grundy's Night - 4/5 (While I did have thoughts on this version of Grundy, those feel irrelevant when it turns out he was just Clayface in disguise anyway. That said, props for making a twist I could genuinely not predict. However, the reason I couldn't have predicted this is because after all that development of Bennett and his descent into Clayface, I wouldn't have expected his next appearance to just be him doing something generically villainous that Batman must put a stop to. It comes off as a bit awkward, because you'd think this would be more emotionally significant considering he was Bruce's best friend. But not only do we not even see his Bennett form in this episode, Batman doesn't even refer to him as such, just "Clayface". And then he goes home all cheery as if he stopped any ol' twerp. Huh?)
25. Strange Minds - 4/5 (While this episode falls into "Joker shenanigans" territory again, at least the focus here is less about just stopping him and instead delving into his mind. It leads to the zaniness being cranked up more, which is fun to see especially with how expressive Joker is in this show. Although I feel like they could have been a bit more creative with the visuals. I liked the flying fish, Joker as the moon, and the normal Joker managing the idea vault. But other than that it doesn't get more wacky then just a crowd of Jokers. But I liked the solution of how Batman made him disclose the information by making him think they had exited his mind. Cliché, but clever. It's a bit weird how Hugo Strange spots Batman in Joker's mind and immediately assumes it's the actual guy, though. For all he knows that could have been mentally conjured up by Joker. Batman would likely be on his mind a lot. Also, Harley Yin.)
26. Night and the City - 4/5 (Woah, TRIPLE villain teamup? Daring today, are we? I liked that Penguin didn't even know who Riddler was. And despite that, he's clearly stomping both Penguin and Joker in this contest. He came up with the idea to catch Batman in the first place, had the most elaborate bat-bait AND was the last guy standing in a fight against him. Joker and Penguin just followed Batman and quickly fumbled. I guess with Commissioner Gordon and the Bat-Signal being introduced in this episode that this marks the end of Batman being an enemy of the GCPD. Not that I mind, since while I liked the development of it, with Bennett gone and Yin already on his side, there wasn't a lot further you could push it. It's a shame this is Yin's last appearance, though. I don't really understand why, since while she's fired in this episode (for like what, a few hours?), she gets the job back and everything goes back to normal. Frankly it would have been more interesting if she WAS fired and then became a vigilante herself/sidekick to Batman as referenced in this very episode.)
Movie: The Batman vs. Dracula - 3/5 (Starting the story with Joker and Penguin? Yeah, this is a The Batman movie alright. They really can't help but spam these two villains. That said, decent movie, but I'm really scratching my head as to why they thought Dracula was the ultimate villain they could utilize for it. There is some thematic connection with him being able to transform into a bat, obviously... But that's as deep as it goes. And the few bits of Bruce recalling the death of his parents was like, come on, you really felt a need to rely on that as a plotpoint in a movie about Dracula?
The film, much like the show, is fairly barebones. Dracula rises and wants to take over Gotham, so Batman must stop him. The side story of Bruce having a romance with Vickly Vale feels very tacked on and pointless since not only was she not much of an interesting character, just a dime a dozen love interest, but she doesn't even appear in the series going forward. So, what? Also, did Bruce really need to hastily steal someone's lipstick and a platter to write "Alucard" and mirror it to figure out it spells Dracula backwards? Just rearrange the letters in your head.
The most interesting thing about the movie is it gets slightly more visually grim. Stuff Penguin bleeding in the beginning alone was a surprise, as tame as it was, because that's not something I would have thought the censors would allow. Of course I quickly realized it was plot relevant, but then they immediately go on to show Dracula "killing" a guy. Which, while I know having finished the movie that he was cured, the way the scene initially portrays it is obviously supposed to make you think that's what happened. There's also Joker practically bathing in blood and Dracula literally being burned alive in the end. Sheesh. So much for Batman's code. Vampire Joker is probably the best part of this movie. That blood bank scene is really cursed [good thing], and KMR's performance of Joker starving while Batman has him locked up was great. I mean Batman having to feed Joker his own blood just so he doesn't starve is a fairly unique plotpoint. Also his reaction to being un-vampire'd is pretty funny. "Where's Dracula?" "I'm looking at him".)

I struggle with Pure O OCD. I’m constantly obsessing about something. When one thing finally “stops” my brain latches on to something else.
Recently, my brain has been hooked on my relationship. Breaking it down, analyzing it. I will go weeks where my thoughts consume me. Makes me feel crazy.
Then, it’s like something switches in my brain and I’ll go days or weeks without feeling that way anymore. I’m just living my life. Not consumed by my relationship.
This applies to other themes too. My health (I have multiple chronic illnesses.) Work. A friendship. Maybe a book or a show.
It’s so tiring. I feel like I can’t ever make choices or decisions in my life. Like I don’t know my own thoughts or feelings or brain. Because I’ll feel very strongly one way when I’m obsessing. And then a switch flips and those feelings go away.
Can anyone relate to this? I’ve never talked to anyone else with OCD and sometimes I feel like I’m just crazy or maybe there’s something else wrong with me. No one in my immediate circle/life can relate. 😔
Also, I made a med change for my anxiety/obsessing from Lexapro to Prozac last summer. Horribly difficult experience. I’m on 40mg and after being past the start up/withdrawal side effects, I’m now feeling like this switch wasn’t worth it? Besides being less fatigued, I’m not noticing much of a difference with my anxiety/depression? Maybe still not high enough of a dose? It’s such an exhausting process. Especially when you’re sensitive to meds. 😔

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I’m incredibly grateful for these advancements in AI that make achieving what once seemed impossible, possible. Udio, in particular, has been instrumental in helping me realize my musical ambitions.
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I’d love to hear about your experiences with Udio. How has it impacted your creative projects? What features or improvements would you like to see in the future?
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AscendedPigeon
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(continuation of part 4)
I already considered this piece the second greatest musical evidence for Clerith after the London Symphony Orchestra’s Final Fantasy VII Symphony’s second movement “Words Drowned by Fireworks” and its guide, but now that I know about the Clerith reunion that was baked into the ending, the gap between the two is narrower. Each time I hear Cloud begin to call out for Aerith in part 3 (3:04), I immediately start crying. It sounds so much to me like Cloud’s voice in the dark saying “Aerith…?”, meek and scared. If you’ve read everything so far, you know how long Cloud has been looking for Aerith, lost without her, searching relentlessly for decades in real-life time. Through FFT, DFF, Advent Children, MFF x FFVII… all of it spent looking for his Promised Land. In OG, Cloud was so tormented by Jenova’s manipulation and so consumed by the chase for Sephiroth that he could not realize what or how much he felt for her until she was taken away forever. The piece we’ve just analyzed tells the story of Cloud and Aerith intertwining and separating against their will, and you can truly feel Cloud’s anxiety as he struggles to wrench Aerith out of fate’s cruel grasp. Perhaps it is because of Aerith’s ultimately fatal responsibility, inherited from her mother, that this iteration of her theme is called “The Cetra”.
Though in part 5, Cloud and Aerith reunite… could this reunion symbolize their meeting again in Remake, or something more permanent? I think it’s meant to leave us wondering.
I’m very sensitive to music, and as I’m typing this, I’m crying a bit. I wanted to share my interpretation of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” with you very badly, because it makes me feel so much and really enhances Clerith’s story. I’m overjoyed to have found out about the reunion at the very end. And it’s all because you guys showed love for my last analysis! You guys are giving me gifts every day.
V. b) i. 3) Combined Analysis
Please listen to and watch the scene of Cloud’s MOTF 6 (4:21-8:46) again, and consider section “V. b) i. 2)”. What is Uematsu telling us? Similarly to how main world theme of FFVII informs us that Jenova is sabotaging Cloud’s identity far before it becomes a plot point in OG, “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” is telling us what not even Remake Cloud consciously knows at this point: he’s been searching desperately for her, and fears losing her once more.
As if that wasn’t proof enough, the timing of the shots and musical phrases is absolutely damning. Recall that part 3 of “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” specifically symbolizes Cloud’s anxiety surrounding Aerith’s safety. It is this particular part of the piece that plays for the entirety of Aerith’s allusions to her murderers and her death (7:25-7:54), including the very moment where “Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (7:51-7:54). What’s more, part 5 the piece, which specifically Cloud freeing Aerith from the restraints of fate, coincides with the moment Tifa grabs Aerith’s hand and pulls her out from the circle of Whispers closing in on her (8:42-8:45). This moment leads me to believe that the reunion in part 5 of the piece indeed symbolizes Cloud succeeding (perhaps with Tifa’s help) in saving Aerith from her tragic fate and reuniting with her for good.
It’s heart-wrenching and brilliant. Our theory stands strong.
V. b) ii. Credits: Piece Inclusion
I find it very telling that the character themes included in the credits of Remake are Cloud’s “Hollow” (0:00-5:24), an orchestral arrangement of Aerith’s theme (5:24-9:24), and an orchestral arrangement of the main world theme, (9:24-14:27) which of course includes Cloud’s true theme. No other character themes appear during the rest of the credits (14:27-18:09). This is telling: the credits are communicating to us that Remake is about Cloud and Aerith. Our Mission Theory only gets stronger.
V. b) iii. Showing Relationships Through Music: Intermingling Character Themes
This doesn’t have to do with the Mission, but here’s a pretty good anti-Cloti argument while we’re here.
As shown in section “V. a) i.” where we explored the roles of Cloud, Jenova and Sephiroth’s themes within the FFVII world theme, the way character themes interact in a piece can tell you a lot about those characters’ relationships. This is certainly the case in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” as well (see section “V. b. ii. 2)”).
I’d like to mention that in all of my listening to the Remake OST and rewatching playthroughs of Remake, I’ve never encountered a single piece that united Cloud and Tifa’s themes. Not once. Let alone a piece that depicts them as intimately or emotionally as “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” depicts Cloud and Aerith. Even the most Cloti cutscenes in Remake aren’t supported by pieces mixing or even juxtaposing Cloud and Tifa’s themes. I can’t find any of Cloud’s motifs anywhere during the orchestral arrangement of Tifa’s theme that plays during her resolution scene in chapter 14. I can’t find either of their motifs in the track the plays when Cloud calls Tifa beautiful at Seventh Heaven in chapter 3. A motif from Tifa’s theme does appear in the track that plays during the childhood promise scene in chapter 4, (0:00-0:25), but it never plays at the same time as or even near Cloud’s motifs (1:23-1:47 and 2:03-2:29). They’re distant or otherwise unaffiliated.
The only exception is that an altered version of Cloud’s theme’s section A phrase 1 appears in the background of Tifa’s theme (1:17-1:23). This symbolizes her connection to Cloud and how much of her attention and worry revolve around him— a reference to how she cares so much that it borders on dependency. Of course, it doesn’t go both ways: Tifa isn’t in Cloud’s theme at all. To me, this lack of reciprocity concerning the inclusion of Cloud’s motif in Tifa’s theme signifies that the only time Cloud and Tifa are together is in her head. She does think about him a lot, which we witness in her chapter of Trace of Two Pasts. Tifa loses sleep over him even two years after he left Nibelheim, despite the fact that she barely knew him at all:

“The moment she heard the word “Soldier”, the few memories she had with Cloud Strife came flooding back. He never contacted her after they parted ways two years ago […]. She tossed and turned all night. When she counted them again, her memories with Cloud were so surprisingly few that others might find it hard to believe that they grew up as next-door neighbors” (Trace of Two Pasts, translated by pekotranslates on Tumblr).

FFVII Remake Ultimania also comments on the superficial nature of Cloud and Tifa’s water tower promise, and how regardless of its naïveté, it became fundamental to Tifa:

“Though rooted in a jejune heroine fantasy of being rescued in a pinch by her hero, this promise is clearly etched in Tifa’s memory” (Tifa’s profile in section 01 of “Character & World”, “An Enduring Childhood Promise” in “Topics of Tifa” page 20).

You could argue that “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is only one song wherein Cloud and Aerith’s themes interweave, but you’d be proven wrong by the Rebirth OST…
V. c) The Rebirth OST
Unfortunately, the full Rebirth OST isn’t out and available where I can listen to it right now. However, based solely on the incomplete OST that’s available to me right now, I can tell you with certainty that the composers were told to incorporate Clerith into the musical storytelling: Cloud and Aerith’s themes intermingle in multiple pieces. I can’t imagine what else I’ll discover once I listen to the full OST. For now, I checked out what was available on YouTube and listened to cutscene audios. This section would be eternal if I included every time Cloud and Aerith’s motifs interact, especially in chapter 14. Trust me, I’d love to talk about every single one, but this thing is long enough already, so let’s just address what pertains to our Mission Theory specifically rather than stopping at every single Clerith reference in the OST.
V. c) i. Ending Cutscene Music
Ending cutscenes are often used to address the next step the characters will be taking as well as their emotional and mental state. They also open up new questions to make the player curious. Indeed, Rebirth’s ending cutscene (18:56-25:00) gives us an impression of how the party members feel by the end of the game: everyone misses Aerith. Barret looks upset and confused at the mention of her (19:35-19:45), the girls are crying and Nanaki is mourning (19:58-20:35). Additionally, we are shown the empty White Materia and Black Materia in Cloud’s possession (20:40-21:24), foreshadowing that they will come to be important in part 3. Cloud and Aerith share a warm goodbye, and exchange promises: Aerith will send smoke signals if something happens to her so a worried Cloud can remain updated on her well-being and she will stop Meteor, and Cloud will stop Sephiroth (23:00-25:00). The fact that this scene is animated in CGI is enough to tell us that the devs consider it narratively important, just like they do Bugenhagen’s observatory and the party’s advance into the Forgotten Capital CGI cutscenes. What did the composers decide to communicate with us about the end of Rebirth and the plot going forward?
Big surprise: Clerith.
During the entire cutscene, only two themes play: Cloud’s and Aerith’s. The cutscene’s music begins only when Cloud notices Aerith among the party members and begins watching her (19:21). She interacts with the rest of the party without their knowledge, different segments of her theme playing one after another. Her theme only stops when Cloud finally looks away from her and to the empty White Materia in his hand (20:45). The music focuses on the mystery and ominousness of these materia, only returning to Aerith once Cloud hears her voice and repeats her message to the party (21:30).
Cloud’s theme appears when he asserts that Barret needn’t worry about him (section A of Cloud’s true theme, 22:41), though soft and tentative, only swelling when Barret and Tifa climb aboard the Tiny Bronco and Cloud finds himself alone with Aerith again (22:57). As he asks Aerith if “[she’ll] be okay getting back” (23:08), the final phrase of section A of his theme plays, but without its concluding note, the tonic. He waits for her to answer him as his theme waits for hers to complete and answer it, that final note dragging long over the seconds (23:09-23:13). She answers with a teasing remark that references their unwillingness to part from each other back in Remake’s Evergreen Park:

“[Cloud has] a chat with Aerith, from whom he’s reluctant to part” (chapter 9 in section 04 “Scenario”, “Main Story Digest”, “4. Saying Goodbye”, page 275)”.

As soon as Aerith answers Cloud’s question with this romantic callback, her theme answers his too: section C of Aerith’s theme begins with the key’s tonic, resolving Cloud’s incomplete phrase (23:13): she gives him resolution. He chuckles, getting her reference, and the music swells (23:16). The music ebbs and flows thusly, following the rhythms and underlying emotions of their conversation. Finally, the piece ends with phrase 2 of of section A of Cloud’s true theme, following a strong repetition of the first half of Aerith’s theme’s section A. The two make their promises to each other, and “No Promises to Keep” begins, leading us to the credits. This is most definitely a Clerith song, but more on that later.
What this shows us is that Cloud and Aerith’s relationship is fundamental to the plot of Rebirth and will also be fundamental to the plot of part 3: they are isolated one one-on-one in this cutscene, and the music depicts their warm, sweet interaction as well as the strength of Aerith’s character to contrast with Cloud’s somewhat meek personality. The composers are telling us that these two, specifically, together alone, are hugely important to the plot here. This was already true in OG, but no such emphasis was ever placed on their interactions and relationship in its music. Something is different, deeper, more intense now. The Mission Theory explains why. It also suits our theory that the composers are emphasizing the centrality of Clerith in the plot of the Remake trilogy. Cloud’s love for Aerith is the reason for the trilogy’s existence, and it will be the greatest motivator for Cloud in part 3. It’s a grand announcement.
Just like in Remake, I could not find a single instance of Cloud and Tifa’s themes interacting in Rebirth, apart from at the end of the intimate Skywheel date— but every girl receives this treatment in their intimate dates, so each of these instances can be crossed out. Additionally, the Tifa date is not the canon one, but I digress…
V. c) iii. Credits

1. Piece Inclusion

Once more, I find it very telling that of all the pieces included in the credits of Rebirth, the only character themes are Cloud’s and Aerith’s. We start with a song about Aerith’s point of view to mirror *Remake’*s “Hollow”, “No Promises to Keep” (5:18-11:10), followed by the FFVII world theme (11:10-16:12) which of course contains Cloud’s true theme, then we move into a piece whose unofficially translated title is “Parade Battle Ceremony - The Dawn of a New World” as an arrangement of the parade ceremony theme from chapter 4 (16:12-19:03), followed by a theme for the Lifestream springs whose name I don’t have (19:03-21:38), “Junon - Fortified Metropolis” (21:38-24:28), and finally, a gorgeous arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47). No other character is referenced in the credits music: the credits are telling us Rebirth is about Clerith. Our Mission Theory explains why.
V. c) iii. 2) “No Promises to Keep”
At the very end of this song written and performed by Aerith, we’re treated with a sweet little piano conclusion (10:46-11:10): it begins with a variation on Aerith’s theme’s section A (10:46-11:01), and concludes with two ascending arpeggios, each four notes long (11:01-11:10). Each of these ascending arpeggios is a variation of the phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A. The differences are minimal. The phrase is usually five notes long rather than four, the first arpeggio ends on the tonic rather than Cloud’s iconic subtonic, and the second arpeggio starts on the subtonic rather than the tonic. The song Aerith wrote concludes with Cloud’s most famous motif. This is also the case in her Gold Saucer performance (3:31-3:41).
V. c) iii. 3) Arrangement of Aerith’s Theme
The final piece in the credits is an arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47) which has noticeably similar elements to the version of her theme that plays during the Jenova Lifeclinger battle in chapter 14 (0:12-3:36), such as the female choirs. Since these female choirs are only heard in the Forgotten City version of Aerith’s theme, and since the credits arrangement of her theme plays at the same time as clips from her chapter 14 pseudo-death roll across the screen, I estimate that this credits arrangement specifically reflects the event of Aerith’s pseudo-death. Recall that composers had access to the credits video as they composed, meaning this piece is specifically written for Aerith’s pseudo-death in Rebirth.
What I find fascinating is that, just like the arrangements of her theme that play during Aerith’s pseudo-death and the Jenova Lifeclinger battle, this credits arrangement contains the sound of Cloud’s pain, rage and protest. Phrase 1 and the first three notes of phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme section A play on the strings and brass quite loudly and insistently, just as Cloud blocking masamune appears on the credits screen (25:11-25:21). Sephiroth’s dissonant, high and screechy violins appear just as his face comes onto the screen (26:33), and almost as a protective response, phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A return (26:47-27:00). Finally, similarly to what we hear in part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, a slightly modified section A phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme play along with section C phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme (oh wow section A and C section Aerith for Cloud’s theme and section Cloud for Aerith’s theme I just realized that’s such a cute coincidence), though unfortunately they do not meet in the middle like last time since they start two octaves apart (28:20-28:25). I’ve recreated it for you once more here so you can really appreciate it. The fact that their motifs don’t truly reunite like in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is sad, but the very last thing you see onscreen is Aerith’s goodbye to the Tiny Bronco (27:10-27:42), so it makes sense that this piano conclusion implies that Cloud and Aerith aligned, but not yet reunited for good. That’s exactly what you get from the ending cutscene. It does seem to imply that they will be reunited in part 3, as both the ending cutscene and this piano conclusion read as a “till we see each other again” rather than a “farewell”.

VI. Textual Evidence

Now that the musical evidence is done, let’s compile some textual story evidence that supports our theory!
VI. a) Remake Trilogy (Thus Far) Handholding Explained?
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, handholding is a motif in Cloud and Aerith’s relationship— and an extremely symbolic one at that! When researching for info to validate my theory, I found that this Clerith motif was extremely helpful! Its inclusion in the Remake trilogy, and especially in Rebirth, is hugely significant in my eyes.
VI. a) i. Pre-Remake Trilogy: Aerith’s Initiative
Before examining the significance of Clerith handholding in Remake and Rebirth, we should establish the meaning of this motif in OG and Advent Children.
Cloud and Aerith have reached out to take each other’s hands many times since 1997. Aerith used to literally drag him by the hand a lot, shocking the cold and distant merc, before she left. After her death in OG, Cloud surely longed to be able to feel her hand take his again, cursing himself for not enjoying it while she was alive, and for never being the one to grasp her hand first: he never got to tell her how he feels about her, or to save her. It was always her reaching out for him, saving him.
This is why the scene in OG when Aerith reaches for him from the Lifestream after Cloud defeats Sephiroth in chapter 3 of disk 3 is so touching: Cloud sees her hand and reaches out to take it, so close to finally establishing that mutual connection, but she soon fades, and replaced by Tifa’s hand in the tangible world. He doesn’t get to hold Aerith’s hand again.
That is, not until Advent Children, where near the end of his battle with Bahamut Sin, he sees Aerith reach out to him once again (1:08-1:30). Cloud finally gets to hold her hand for the first time in two years when he lost her. This moment was given extra importance by the devs. In fact, Nojima told us the following:

“The ending scene of the battle with Bahamut, the scene where Aerith reaches out her hand, is an homage to the last scene from a previous production. It was [Nomura]'s idea” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Story Digest”, “Summoned Beast”, page 113).

VI. a) ii. The Remake Trilogy (Thus Far): Cloud’s Initiative
As I’ve said before, if I’m right that Remake is all about Cloud stepping up to be more attentive and active in his relationship with Aerith in order to save her, there should be concrete evidence of this in the Remaketrilogy thus far. If OG Cloud’s memories of and love for Aerith exist somewhere within Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness, then Remake Cloud should be far more active in the Clerith dynamic than OG Cloud was— after all, he’s supposed to know better this time around. Thankfully, the motif of handholding can help us evaluate this. Since we know pre-Remake Cloud was quite passive when it comes to handholding, Cloud initiating handholding in the Remake trilogy would be a strong indication that our theory has validity. Keeping this in mind, let’s see what we can find thus far in the Remake trilogy in relation to handholding, and if Cloud is indeed more active than he was in OG.
VI. a) ii. 1) Hollow Hands
Remake’s theme song “Hollow” makes allusions to the handholding motif: “This time, I will never let you go” is pretty clear. And so is “No Promises to Keep”, wherein Aerith speaks of Cloud “[taking her] hand and never [letting her] go” multiple times. Interestingly, these theme song lyrics seem to suggest that Cloud will be much more active in the Remake trilogy than in OG. “Hollow” even promises that Cloud will come to his senses and take charge of the situation: “this time, [he] will” be the one to offer his hand to Aerith, unlike in OG and Advent Children. This makes a lot of sense with our theory: now that Cloud has lost Aerith once, “this time for sure, [he]’ll” be the one to reach for Aerith’s hand, take initiative and save her the way she saved him.
Even though theme songs are extremely telling of a game’s main themes and intentions, lyrics are still all talk and no proof. What about the game itself? Do Remake and Rebirth deliver on this promise? Let’s see!
VI. a) ii. 2) Resolution Hands
The only significant time Cloud initiates handholding in Remake is during Cloud’s resolution scene in chapter 14 (5:18-5:40), wherein he tries to grab Aerith’s hand but is unable to keep her with him. He fills with determination and tells her in no uncertain terms that he’s coming for her. Just as we predicted, Cloud is the active participant in this iteration of the Clerith handholding motif: he’s even explicitly insisting against Aerith’s wishes that he should “get a say in all this” and that he’s “coming for [her]”. Let’s not forget that Cloud’s resolution is meant to reflect not only Aerith’s kidnapping by Shinra, but also her fated death. Nojima implied this by commenting the following on Aerith’s “Even if you think you have, it’s not real” line:

“Those who know what befalls Aerith later on will find the line really heart-wrenching” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Development Staff Interviews, Part 2: Tetsuya Nomura, Yoshinori Kitase, Kazushige Nojima”, page 744).

Given this note by Nojima, it looks like we’re supposed to watch Cloud’s resolution scene with Aerith’s fated death in mind. Considering this, Cloud’s “I’m coming for you” line sure seems like an subconscious promise that he will save Aerith from her tragic fate. This subconscious promise could be the result of post-OG Cloud’s feelings and intentions rising to the surface. Nevertheless, he’s absolutely determined and he’s staying true to the promise he made in “Hollow”. I think it’s fair to say that this instance of the handholding Clerith motif does indeed fit perfectly with our theory. This is only one strong example though, and we need a pattern in order to pat ourselves on the back on this. So, let’s keep looking! There isn’t any handholding initiated by Cloud beyond that point in Remake. At this point in my research, I moved on to Rebirth to go digging for handholding there.
Hoo boy. I was not disappointed.
VI. a) ii. 3) Golden Hands
Let’s begin with the obvious. In their high-affinity gondola date in chapter 12, Cloud bravely interlaces his fingers with Aerith’s: Cloud’s taken charge not only of handholding, but the most intimate kind of handholding. I’m sure you’ve encountered the phrase “こいびとつなぎ” or “koibito tsunagi by now (literally translates to “lovers’ tie” or “lovers’ connection”); this is the term used in Japanese to refer to the type of handholding Cloud initiates with Aerith on the Skywheel. It’s considered the most intimate form of handholding. In Japan, skinship is normally considered quite significant and indicative of the closeness between two people— you could say it’s a big deal. Cloud also offers Aerith his hand when they step off the Shywheel, once more making the first move. Though some might say that the Skywheel dates shouldn’t be counted as canon, I believe Aerith’s date is indeed canon (I have my reasons but this post is long enough). Even if we discount the Skywheel date however, Clerith's use of the koibito tsunagi returns in a non-optional scene we will touch on later.
For what it’s worth, Alfreid offers Rosa his hand in the Loveless play too. I can prove that Aerith is the canon Rosa too, but I’m going to save that for my next analysis! You can take my word for it now, or just wait for that analysis to drop. Take it or leave it!
VI. a) ii. 4) Meta Hands
However, the narrative weight of these Clerith handholding instances doesn’t even come close to my very favorite iteration of the handholding motif in Rebirth. I’m referring to what I consider a severely underrated Clerith moment in chapter 13. First, some context: Sephiroth manipulates Cloud into giving over the Black Materia. Cloud seems to be firmly under Sephiroth’s control. However, the sight of Aerith being swarmed by Black Whispers snaps Cloud back into the driver’s seat: he breaks out of Sephiroth’s grasp to run to her and save her. Aerith gets knocked off into a fatal free-fall by a Black Whisper before Cloud can reach her, but he won’t have it: he lunges forward, hand extended. What results is a beautiful shot of their outstretched hands (56:25-56:27).
Let’s analyze this great shot. Notice how the seconds where Cloud is reaching downwards to grasp Aerith’s hand are treated. This key moment is stretched longer by a slow-mo effect, building up the tension and drawing the audience’s focus to the distance between their hands before Cloud actually catches Aerith’s in his, fulfilling the promise he made in “Hollow”. Their hands take up the whole screen in a deliberate close-up shot. All the ambient noises of the scene go quiet: Aerith’s theme is all we hear as Cloud reaches desperately for her. These are blatant audiovisual cues, signalling to the audience that whatever is happening on screen is especially significant. We should therefore examine this specific instance of the Clerith handholding motif to see what the devs are trying to tell us, and maybe it will fit with our theory!
We should begin by comparing this Clerith hand-reach shot to previous ones. If you compare it to the Advent Children’s hand-reach that occurs during Cloud’s battle against Bahamut Sin, it’s evident that Cloud and Aerith’s roles are reversed: just as our theory states, Cloud gets out from inside his head and reaches for Aerith this time. She saved him and the world in OG, and now it’s his turn to save her. This change becomes especially evident when you juxtapose the two scenes and notice how their hands have switched places, reaching from above and below, from left and right. I think the Rebirth hand-reach was deliberately made to look like the Advent Children one —and even the OG one in disk 3, chapter 3—, just to highlight this role reversal.
This Rebirth hand-reach is my favorite out of all because it shows that Cloud is much more conscious and attentive toward Aerith in Rebirth than he was in OG. At this point in OG (disk 1, chapter 25), Cloud is meant to be beating Aerith up at Sephiroth’s command, to the horror of the rest of the party. In fact, a few minutes before Cloud rushes to save Aerith in Rebirth, he has absolutely no problem violently shoving Tifa to the ground when she gets in Sephiroth’s way (53:27-53:33). This shove and Cloud’s earlier attack on Tifa in Gongaga (Rebirth, chapter 9) proves that Sephiroth is just as capable of making Cloud hurt his party members as he was in OG… though Sephiroth can’t seem to make Cloud hurt Aerith. Why is this? Why is it that Cloud beats Aerith in OG, but doesn’t even lay a finger on her —and snaps out of Sephiroth’s control at the mere sight of her in trouble— in Rebirth?
Our theory provides the answer. In disk 1, chapter 25 of OG, Cloud had not yet realized he loved Aerith. Sephiroth was therefore able to make him hurt her. But things are different in Rebirth. The Cloud we see in the Remake trilogy has gone through the OG timeline and traveled back in time, kicking off Remake as his second try at the OG timeline— and he did this precisely because he loves Aerith. His love for her is clearer and stronger in the Remake trilogy than in OG because Remake Cloud is an amnesiac, post-OG, time-traveler Cloud. He’s been through the OG before, has fallen in love with Aerith and realized it before, so this time around, he can’t even lay a finger on her. This is made evident by how closely the moments where Cloud pushes Tifa and saves Aerith are juxtaposed, separated by mere seconds of gameplay. Merely seeing Aerith in trouble wrenched control from Sephiroth and put it in Cloud’s hands again— Sephiroth probably couldn’t have gotten Cloud to attack Aerith if he tried.
This isn’t the only time we get evidence of this though! As Cloud approaches Aerith’s praying form in the Forgotten City, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers swirl around the buster sword: Sephiroth is trying to kill Aerith with it, while Cloud’s struggle to wrench it away plays out visibly on his face. Interestingly, Cloud is not being controlled by Sephiroth here. We know this because we can quite literally see the Black Whispers trying to move his sword, but also because every time Cloud is being controlled by Sephiroth in Rebirth, he has an empty-eyed, zombie-Cloud look on his face. Either that or he laughs or smiles somewhat maniacally. There is never any resistance on his part. To see an example, simply pay attention to Cloud’s blank face as he attacks Tifa in Gongaga in chapter 9 (19:20-20:30). You’ll see the very same expression on his face if you watch this video of Cloud following Sephiroth’s orders in chapter 13 (53:36-54:15). Additionally, look at how strangely Cloud smiles (41:01) as he grasps the Black Materia. Cloud makes none of these faces as the Black Whispers try to take control of his sword: quite the opposite. Cloud looks like he’s trying his hardest to pull his weapon back down and away from Aerith, a horrified look on his face as he grunts from the effort. Once more, Sephiroth is unable to make Cloud hurt Aerith.
Back to my favorite handholding moment. Think about this devs intention for this shot for a minute. The devs have been teasing us as to whether or not Cloud will succeed in saving Aerith in the Remake trilogy since it was first announced, and this slow-mo shot of Cloud catching Aerith’s hand as she falls to her death is a reflection of this tension. The audience holds their breath during those slow-moed seconds, all that hope and fear hanging in the balance. This instance of the handholding motif is a meta way for the devs to reassure us that Cloud will indeed save Aerith. I firmly believe this.
VI. a) ii. 5) Self-Sacrificing Hands
Alright, alright, enough about my favorite! Let’s move to chapter 14 of Rebirth! There’s evidently a lot going on with Clerith in this chapter. Let’s address the Sector 5 date. The handholding is first initiated by Aerith as she tugs him toward the candy vendor and Cloud reacts with a quiet gasp (4:07-4:17). Soon, it becomes a reciprocal embrace: Cloud holds his hand out for Aerith’s and tightens his fingers around hers, smiling at her before they head to the photographer (7:07-7:17).
Then of course, when Aerith pushes Cloud into a portal in her church, you can see Cloud reach his hand up toward her desperately as he falls (17:38-17:58). What I find particularly emotional about this moment is that Aerith pushing Cloud away from her is kind of the opposite of reaching for his hand: it symbolizes Aerith accepting her fate and giving up on a life where she can be with him. This Aerith seems to be a post-OG Aerith who exists separately from the main world we experience in Rebirth, meaning she knows all too well that her fate is to die. In fact, it looks like she is the very same or a similar Aerith to the one who appeared to Cloud in his resolution scene in Remake. By literally pushing Cloud away, just like she figuratively did in Cloud’s resolution scene, she is sacrificing both herself and the happiness she could share with Cloud. She’s going against her heart’s wishes, just like she did in Cloud’s resolution scene when she would not let Cloud take her hand. Indeed, post-OG Aerith seems to be resigned to her fated death and completely devoid of hope: she only wants to ensure the planet’s survival, because she thinks she knows there is no way she can or should be with Cloud. In contrast, Cloud reaches his hand out toward Aerith as he falls into the portal, and even though he does not know that her push symbolizes her self-sacrifice, his outstretched hand represents his protest. So far, our theory is fitting beautifully.
VI. a) ii. 6) Grieving Hands
Later in chapter 14 of Rebirth, after Aerith’s death/non-death, there is more handholding. As Cloud cradles Aerith’s body close to him at the Forgotten Capital, Aerith places her hand on his cheek. Cloud covers it with his, curling his fingers around it (1:03:33-1:03:53). Before he leaves her lying down on her back to go fight Sephiroth, he squeezes her hand as he tells her “I got this”— or, per the Japanese version, “Wait for me”, meaning he’ll reunite with her once he’s done (1:04:56-1:05:10).
VI. a) ii. 7) Hero-Heroine Hands
Next, the koibito tsunagi returns as Cloud and Aerith interlace fingers back to back in a classic hero-heroine pose, right after their two-versus-one fight against Sephiroth. This time, they both reach for each other simultaneously (7:42-8:18), without even having to look down at their hands or talk to each other, as though perfectly in sync. As you can see, Aerith and Cloud are now on the same page. This is different from post-OG Aerith’s attitude in the Sector 5 church earlier in chapter 14, as well as in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake— my interpretation of this mutual koibito tsunagi is that both of them are agreeing to hold onto each other now, with neither of them pulling back or being inattentive of the other: their priorities are now the same. It seems now they are aligned, and hopefully this means that Aerith will be working together with Cloud so they can reunite again in part 3. Even if she doesn’t prioritize her life and happiness though, we know for sure Cloud will.
VI. b) Blocking Masamune Explained?
Another piece of evidence that Cloud has been through the events of OG before is the fact that he is able to block masamune. Cloud looks up and sees Sephiroth descending with his blade poised to kill Aerith. Screaming, Cloud instantly rips the buster sword from the Black Whispers’ hold and successfully blocks masamune. Hatred and determination fill his eyes as he rallies his strength and successfully pushes Sephiroth away, saving Aerith’s life (6:00-7:26)— at least, in one reality.
Obviously, something about Cloud is different in Rebirth from in OG, otherwise, the events of Rebirth’s chapter 14 would be the same as the events of OG’s disk 1 chapter 28. In my opinion, what happened here is that upon seeing Sephiroth swoop down with masamune, Cloud remembered Aerith’s death in OG, and the post-OG Cloud’s determination to stop it came surging up from within him. This is frankly the very best proof there is that Cloud is far more ready, stable, determined, and clear-headed about Aerith in the Remake trilogy than in OG. Our theory explains why! In fact, this very moment is what our entire theory banks on: Cloud saves Aerith in one reality, as is shown by the rainbow effect produced by the event, and just like that, the promise made in “Hollow” has been fulfilled! However, now we face the question of how to make sure that Aerith is alive and by Cloud’s side when the multiverse converges again into one protected timeline. I’m sure it will be done; we will see how in part 3.
VI. c) Theme Song Lyrics
What the theme songs’ texts have to say about the trilogy so far is quite important, as they summarize the feelings of the characters they represent: Cloud and Aerith. We can glean a lot from their perspectives that could help support the Mission Theory.
VI. d) i. “Hollow” Lyrics
“Hollow”, Remake’s theme song, was written about Cloud’s feelings and rumination. Nojima confirmed that, when he was given directives for the lyric-writing, “Nomura just gave [Nojima] the keywords: ‘told from Cloud's point of view’ and ‘standing in the rain’. [Nojima] interpreted that as ‘a ballad for a man who lost something/someone important’” (Nojima and Uematsu interview “‘I wanted to put the word ‘empty’ in the theme song of Remake. That was how it started’ - Music-Related Interview Part 6: Kazunari Nojima”, by Famitsu). Our theory is about Cloud’s motivations and mission to save Aerith, so “Hollow” is especially relevant.
Let’s run through the lyrics and analyze, starting with the song’s first verse:

“I would be lost, drifting along
Floating up high, time after time
And there you'd be, shining brightly
Your smiling face to guide my way
Bloody and bruised, brought to my knees
When beaten down, when broken up
You would appear, reach out to me
Heal every wound and make me whole”

Makes sense with our theory in mind, doesn’t it? This is post-OG Cloud remembering Aerith and what she means to him. “Hollow” seems to be told from the perspective of the post-OG Cloud hidden somewhere in Remake Cloud: a suppressed or eroded part of him that remembers Aerith clearly. Or maybe it’s told by Cloud after the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and before the start of Remake, asserting his mission to save Aerith.
Next, here are the pre-choruses:

“Was it all, a dream? Will I never know?
Foolish and blind to everything
Had I realized, had I thought it through
Would you be here in my embrace?”

&

“With your every smile, hiding something more
Dark mysteries lurking beneath
But I was consumed with this emptiness
This selfishness, this void to fill”

(continued in

About 1.5 years ago we had a school project where we had to write about a topic we found interesting.
There were different groups with different themes and I was in one that focused on psychology. Some choose depression or the effects of social media as a topic and I choose "Whats up with men and pedophilia?"
I didnt tell my parents about, because I just kinda forgot it and had to write it in a hurry in the last few days.
And I recently realized that the topic of that project is going to be on our final school report. So:

1. The word "pedophilia" is going to be on my final school report which my future employer will see
   
2. My parents are going to learn about this
   

Im afraid that they might think I'm a pedophile (which I'm not!!!) , since I kept it "secret" and I dont really have any evidence against it except for my words. I dont have a girlfriend or something along those lines.
Im also afraid that they might be a little angry since this is going to be on my final school report and I also often forget to tell them basic important stuff which makes them unhappy which this situation also fits into.
I just thought it would be fun to see whats going on with pedophiles and why they are the way that they are (it was not fun) and it seems like that is going to have real consequences on my life.
I didnt get the report so I dont really know whats going to happen, but I cant imagine that its going to be fun.
TL;DR: I made a school project about pedophilia which is going to be on my final school report and that my parents dont know about.

There have been many times where I have been in so much emotional pain that I think of other people hurting as much as I do. For example, I have felt completely alone in the world with no one to lean on and during that time I would dream, almost hope, that someone I knew would fall into the same depression I was in so they would finally understand. Am I just a terrible person or is this a more common theme among us?

I don't know if this is the place to write. I'm 45f and have suffered from severe thanatophobia since I was 9, on and off. The first really bad phase was at 34, after the birth of my second child. I was diagnosed with ppd and put on antidepressants. After about 4 months I felt normal again. Things went well until at 43 I suddenly redeveloped this debilitating fear with anxiety. Again, I was diagnosed with depression, gad, medicated and after 5-6 months felt ok.
Now, in jan, I woke up one morning and the fear was back, worse than ever. It's still debilitating, even after more meds and this time also therapy. What makes me post here is I wonder if depression is a misdiagnosis. All 3 major episodes have been preceeded by dreams about death. The theme being Enjoy life while it lasts because soon it will be over and there will be nothing. Only oblivion.
Throughout these depressions, I have had extreme dpdr - the world feels fake, all objects like shoes, books, clothes or glasses feel fake, life feels fake, my body feels fake, and extreme awareness of my own and everyone else's existence. Why does the world exist? What is beyond space? Will eternity end? Is life on Earth just random and meaningless? Why am I my consciousness in my body, why not someone else? And the worst of my fears, is there anything beyond death? I have had a strange fear of people (I don't usually have that at all), of never being able to know what they experience, what their lives are. Also a fear of places like shopping centres and other big buildings, particularly underground.
I saw an ambulance the other day and my reaction was why are they doing that, "saving" someone's life? That person will die one day anyway. Why bother? Everything is pointless anyway. Why build houses? Write books? Buy clothes? We're all going to die anyway. Oblivion.
It's as if people are mindlessly walking about with blinders on, not realizing that one day they will be gone. How are they not terrified?
I'm not even sure what I want to achieve by writing this - maybe just know if anyone else has had this and how you've dealt with it?

So I have used hypnosis and hypno kink content as a way to escape reality for the last three years or so. Compared to what the internet has to offer, the content that I have consumed is mild. I stay away from anything Bambi theme and most of what I consume is short scripts or strobing gifs on Deviant Art. I started with relaxation and mind blank spirals for about a year, I would watch one or two videos a night, so less than an hour total, then I moved to more sexual content in the form of drawings, stories or spirals.
I graduated with my B.A. in History one year later than I planned because I needed more time on my undergraduate thesis. Since I have been out of full-time classes, I feel like I have forgotten everything I used to know. The general concepts still make sense to me and I can explain them, but the specifics are gone. I also have less common sense and most focus-based tasks take me longer than they used to.
I do have severe depression and probably burnout, but at this point, I don’t think I can blame my decreased intelligence on just my mental health. I am really really afraid that I have killed my IQ to an irreparable point. Will I feel like this forever? Have I been permanently fucked up by the survival mechanisms I used to survive?
If anyone else has experienced something similar, please share your thoughts. I want the whole truth so don’t hold back.

The founder of Midsummer Studios, Jake Solomon, has given us more information about the new life sim game with a demo due to release this year 2024!
He also directly calls out and confirms they are competing with the Sims. throws down the gauntlet.
He also gives us more information about the mystery game title:

“We’re at an interesting time as players of life sims,” Solomon said in a statement to Variety. “I thought I looked pretty smart over a year ago when I left my former studio and announced that I was going to make a life sim to compete with the long running (and really only show in town) ‘The Sims.’ Now, there are four or five (seemingly great) competitors being developed. Our difference is that we’re focused on story. Specifically, the story that the players write themselves just by playing the game. The player controls the story they want to tell, and in fact, when the game starts the player can choose from multiple “themes” that define their story. For example they can tell the game that they want to tell a story about finding their soulmate while also succeeding at their small town business.
“We use that information at game start to then generate an interesting cast of supporting characters and seed them with relationships that will instantly create a ‘narrative rich’ environment. If the player wants to tell a romantic story, then we might generate a cast where one person is an ex-lover AND a coworker, one is your high school sweetheart AND your neighbor, and one is your secret crush but also runs a rival business in town. In this way, the game already starts in an interesting place that our players will want to explore. Our players will be able to share the characters they create, the storylines they tell, and even entire towns that they have customized. We intend to have a community hub that allows players to easily upload their own creations and download the creations of other players right into their game.”
Solomon says Midsummer Studios plans “to grow slowly and to limit our overall studio size in order to make ourselves as flexible and efficient as possible, while giving our team a sustainable, steady place to work (which is no given in our current industry.)”
Midsummer has plans to reveal a demo in 2024 and later reveal a target launch date for the currently untitled life-sim game.

See rest of the article here

In an interview with PC Gamer, Midsummer Studios co-founder and creative director Jake Solomon divulged how his career making strategy games has actually always been building towards his longtime dream of a relationship simulator and his plans for a small town full of Gilmore Girls-style drama.
After working on Civilization games himself, the games Solomon later took creative lead on started to zoom in on characters and relationships with the ~soldier bond system in XCOM 2~, and then the ~friendship system~ in Marvel's Midnight Suns, a game he affectionately describes as his "little hero dating simulator" that he "lavished way too much attention on."
Now he says his dream as a designer has always been a game about high school and dating. "I think these things have always been kind of brewing in the back of my mind. And they've probably manifested in each game that I've designed," he says.
Midsummer Studios' first game sounds like it isn't solely about high school dating, but it's definitely all about the drama of personal relationships.The basics of Midsummer's yet-to-be-revealed game, as they stand, are this: You'll decide what kind of story you want to tell, whether it's about romance, family, or something else entirely, and the game will fill the town with characters and generate relationships between them—it almost sounds like starting a game of Dwarf Fortress. From a Sims-like overhead view of the world, you can play through a story divided into scenes where your character has wants and needs and has to juggle those relative to time, or you can go into a creative mode to inhabit any character you please, edit relationships, give orders, and play around in your sandbox.
"You're guiding a character through their daily life in a small town—and a small town is a very narrative rich environment," Solomon says. "Whether it's Gilmore Girls, which is the one I bring up maybe too often to my team, or it could be Stephen King … It's a narrative rich environment because everybody knows everybody."
Each scene is less about managing want meters as in The Sims series and more about juggling your character's motivations at any point in time. Scenes might have modifiers, like an unfortunate case of intestinal distress that will make your character want to go to the bathroom several times while trying to get through a date. If you aren't feeling the scene you're in though, creative mode lets you ditch the scene constraints entirely."We want the player to feel like they have enough things that they want to do in any particular scene but they can't possibly do all of them," Solomon says.
The idea is to create conditions that are ripe for generating "emergent stories," and though that's often a buzzword, Solomon has some specific ideas about what that means from his own time spent playing The Sims.
"I love The Sims. You play it and this amazing stuff happens. I'll be like: is my wife flirting with the old neighbor? What the fuck? And you want the game to be like: dun dun duuuuun!"
He envisions a game that recognizes when a dramatic moment is happening by understanding the relationships of everyone involved, and giving you a satisfying nod of the head for the drama you've managed to construct.
"The audience that we're interested in is the people, like if you go to Tumblr, they're the people who share the stories of their characters through screenshots and they do a lot of really, really incredible work," he says.
"What we're wrestling with right now is that there have to be some curated storylines but I think we want them to be very, very high level," he says, describing something that sounds a little like the events system in Crusader Kings 3, except with more dialogue. "The way we handle this is a character will come up to you and say 'oh I heard your father is back in town,' and this is a dialogue tree where the player has three very different options like 'I never want to talk to that man again' or 'yeah, he's here because he's getting married and I don't like his fiancee.'"
Solomon caveats this by saying that the details of all these systems are still being iterated on—adding that Midsummer Studios currently has 11 members and expects to become just 13 "for another year or so." It's clear the studio is already playing with very early prototypes of everything he describes, but it's a lot of very high-concept talk right now. I can't picture exactly how this game will play, but I do like where his head's at.
With all this talk about the live drama of a life sim, what about the build mode folks like me? Solomon says they want to eventually have decoration and interior redesigns and building your house from scratch, but as for having those things in for the initial launch he's not so confident. "Our guiding star is the idea of relationships and story and so that allows us to kind of deprioritize other features."
As much as the XCOM guy pivoting to a life sim warrants a double take, he does seem to get Sims players, referencing popular ~Sims 4 mods~ like Wicked Whims and the differences between Alpha and Maxis Match custom content.
As for the potential of a modding community for this game, Solomon is enthusiastic, saying he believes that mods are "essential," though isn't positive yet on the exact details around the level of support and tools Midsummer will share with players.

For the rest of the PC Gamer interview article and source found here
For more information about Midsummer Studios, see threads/posts & timestamped video here:
https://www.reddit.com/LifeSimulators/comments/1crtqga/new_studio_opening_with_former_the_sims/
https://www.reddit.com/LifeSimulators/comments/1cskds1/recently_departed_project_rene_aka_the_sims_5/
https://youtu.be/EK_x3YkE8-E
Intresting Things to note about Midsummer Studios

• They hired Grant Rodiek who was a lead Producer in the Sims franchise since the Sims 2, although some of you may know him for his controversial response and weird takes on Twitter as Simguru Grant for the Sims 4. He was the Game Director of Project Rene (what many believe to WIP Sims 5) and publically and abruptly quit Maxis & Electronic Arts 3 months ago.
  
• Their Team is small and consists of other former The Sims, Civilization and Xcom developers
  

-Krafton is the publisher for another Sims competitor life sim, InZoi and they are one of the funds funding Midsummer Studio. This adds legitimacy to Krafton is coming for the Sims Franchise and EA by any means necessary. They are clearly invested.
Discussion: What do you think about Solomon's overall vision for his Life Sim and his focus on relationships? Are you familiar with his previous work?Do you think him and the team have a enough experience with The Sims and life simulators to understand what players want? Are you excited for the release of the demo and announcement of the full release? What do you think of this unexpected news of a demo and the seemingly speedy time line? What are your thoughts in general?
These last 2 years have been a sim renaissance! Exciting time to be a life sim gamer because years ago this would have been unimaginable. I love the competition to the Sims, it will force the Sims franchise, and the overall Life Sim genre to innovate. Big deal since there was very little competition to none until recently.

im gonna keep this vocaloid related to my best ability. but i just felt the need to do this.
everyone here, we’re connected through a shared interest of vocaloid. i have been thinking of the songs with darkedepressing themes (like aishite, aishite, aishite) where people find it relatable. i wanted to share my own thoughts on these comments.
if anyone finds these songs relatable, i hope you are doing better now. all of you are amazing, talented people. old fans? new fans? big fans? casual fans? we all are here for each other. i hope you all have an amazing day today, tomorrow, the day after that, and more. i truly love coming to this subreddit and sharing my love of vocaloid with everyone here.
you all deserve happiness, and im wishing the best for everyone.
even if theres no song that you find relatable, you can still be hurting. and i hope you feel better one day.
personally, i feel comforted by a lot of lyrics from different songs. one that got me the other day when i was sad was ‘ten thousand of the stars, they will keep on burning bright like this light held between you and i.”
i hope you all have a wonderful day, and i cant wait to see what songs, art, cosplays, etc. you all come up with! i know im an unknown random guy here who you might occasionally see in comments or making posts, but i truly love and appreciate everyone here and want the best.
39, everyone. have a great day. i wish you all the best.

Preface: This is for Vedic, Sidereal Astrology.
This took a super long time to finish, but I've finally reached a point where I think I'm done trying to improve it. This part will focus more on how Purva Bhadrapada manifests for individuals.
Nature
Purva Bhadrapada reminds me a lot of Kali Yuga. In Hindu cosmology, Kali is the final of the four ages that the world goes through as part of a continuous cycle of creation, maintenance, and dissolution. It is the final stage before the onset of a new cycle, promising the destruction of the old order and the eventual merging of all into a unified whole. It signifies a time of dual balance before dissolution of individual identities and the reunification of all existence with the divine source. This can be viewed as being similar to the process of individual death, but it is on a universal scale. Kali Yuga is considered the age of darkness and moral decline, where spiritual values deteriorate and materialism prevails. According to Hindu scriptures, Kali Yuga is characterized by widespread social, political, and moral corruption, as well as a decline in virtue and Dharma (righteousness). It is believed that, during this age, human beings face numerous challenges and spiritual tests, and the pursuit of higher consciousness becomes increasingly more difficult compared to the previous Yugas. Just as Kali Yuga tests individuals with challenges to their spiritual resolve amidst the prevailing degeneration of values, Purva Bhadrapada is a cosmic stage where one's truest nature is tested through the weakening separation of the spiritual and the material. Here, individuals are made to confront their deepest fears and desires, burdened with the challenge of facing their true nature and purifying their souls. The emphasis of this nakshatra lies in releasing attachments amidst the seduction of outer freedom and power, mirroring the spiritual trials inherent to Kali Yuga. Yet, despite challenges of degeneration, there exists a unique opportunity during the stages of both Kali and Purva Bhadrapada. Kali is believed to be the best time for spiritual progress and true liberation because individuals can attain spiritual growth more rapidly due to the intensity of the challenges they face during this period, and the same is true of Purva Bhadrapada nakshatra. Both Kali and Purva Bhadrapada emphasize the importance of transcending mundane concerns and dedicatedly seeking spiritual truth amidst the backdrop of pervading ignorance.
The primary nature of Purva Bhadrapada is that of penance and disequilibrium. Purva Bhadrapada is the stage of evolution where individuals are made to undergo intense internal transformation and dissolution, shedding layers of their being in preparation for spiritual renewal and divine return. This process of metamorphosis can be seen as a type of penance, whether embraced willingly or thrust upon them. It offers eventual rewards as they journey towards enlightenment. As the primary nature of Purva Bhadrapada revolves around penance and transformation, individuals heavily influenced by this Nakshatra are oriented towards personal introspection and societal purification, viewing their lives as both a personal quest for growth and an opportunity to contribute to something greater. Individually, they seek to cleanse themselves of past transgressions and strive for spiritual redemption, and they feel personally responsible for their impact on others. At a broader societal level, they are driven by a strong sense of justice and a duty to rectify societal wrongs of the past and present in order to contribute to the collective upliftment and purification of their community. As such, they often subject themselves and others to extreme physical, mental, and spiritual challenges. They are presented with a kind of spiritual trial of sacrifice: either they can willingly embrace self-denial and endure while remaining detached, or they can create so much desire and fear that it causes them to lose the direction of their souls in the process. While the primary manifestation of Purva Bhadrapada energy is inwardly focused on cultivating self-discipline and perfection, oftentimes to an unhealthy degree, sometimes the focus can instead shift outward. This is where Purva Bhadrapada gains a lot of its infamy; Purva Bhadrapada is revered as one of the most "difficult" and "intense" nakshatras among Vedic astrologers. It is an asterism that gets approached with trepidation due to its somber imagery and associations with themes of violence, debauchery, and malevolence. The negative traits linked to Purva Bhadrapada, such as paranoia, pessimism, and hedonism, contribute to its daunting reputation. And for the most part, the fear of this nakshatra is justified. Not only are these individuals capable of doling out punishment themselves through various means like violence, manipulation, curses, etc., but they can also inadvertently bring out the self-destructive or uncontrolled nature of others. They are the types to cause deep introspection and confrontation with one's own shortcomings and fears, often acting as catalysts for irreversible transformation of character.
In terms of Purva Bhadrapada's inherently unbalanced nature, the trajectory is quite clear. These natives are not the type to do anything in moderation and often have an unstable demeanor and sense of self. They will always be pulled towards the polar extremes of anything, but they can flip on their values rapidly following any transformative event. They may occupy the deepest levels of material saturation, completely lost in chasing fame, drugs, sex, and uncontained immoral activities. Yet, paradoxically, they can also find themselves drawn to the heights of spiritual austerity, sometimes even at the same time they are trying to maximize their material standing. This innate propensity for extremes and contradiction manifests in every aspect of their lives, from their relationships, to their goals, to their beliefs, and to their actions. They are esteemed for their amiable disposition, characterized by warmth, thoughtfulness, and a selfless inclination to assist others without seeking acknowledgment. Yet, concurrently, they are often perceived as self-serving, prone to bouts of ill temper, and housing a proclivity towards ego-centricity. Despite appearing outwardly normal a lot of the time, they can be very eccentric. They are the types to lead clandestine lives, harboring secrets and maintaining hidden facets of their personalities and activities, even to those closest to them. This can make them seem nefarious and untrustworthy. Sometimes this is the case, but despite having a reputation for deceit, many of them are known to be sincere and honorable. Yet, underlying however they are being perceived is a deeper struggle to fully identify with anything. This challenge leads to inner conflicts and uncertainties, as they grapple with their sense of self and their place in the world. They are up and down, left and right, constantly in a state of internal conflict that leaves them questioning who they really are. They can feel like they don't know themselves while still being hyper-individualistic and defensive over whatever their current sense of identity is, even though it is likely to change. These contradictions reveal the complexity of their psyche, where outer appearances often mask inner conflicts and contradictory emotions and experiences. Purva Bhadrapada natives navigate the space where boundaries are starting to blur, reflecting the burgeoning singularity of existence in their minds. Due to this, sometimes they can seem like walking contradictions, embodying multiple clashing characteristics at once. For example, while they may harbor a sense of superiority over others, they can also experience deep-seated insecurity and jealousy. They can like to be critical, but cannot handle criticism. Additionally, they might demonstrate a strong desire for independence and self-reliance, yet simultaneously crave validation and approval from those around them. These conflicting traits contribute to their complex and enigmatic nature, making them intriguing yet challenging individuals to understand to others and themselves.
Purva Bhadrapada's inclination towards extremes extends to their pursuit of goals, as they approach certain tasks with unwavering ambition and dedication. They set high standards and are willing to push themselves to extreme limits to get what they want. This relentless drive for perfection and attainment can sometimes lead them to engage in behaviors that are harmful to the well-being of themselves or others, as they struggle to find balance and moderation. At this point, you may be asking, "how is that penance if they are only striving to selfishly get what they want?" Well, the painful truth about this is that they do not really want these things. They are told by others ignorant to their situation that they will be happy when they achieve some kind of abstruse goal set forth for them by society, and they are sent on a goose-chase of material ambition to achieve happiness, but this inevitably only leads to further dissatisfaction. They are met with pain, humiliation, and harsh transformation, but they keep pushing towards their aspiration of material fulfillment. It is only when they get that job, marry that partner, become famous, etc. that they realize it does not bring them happiness or fill them with the sense of purpose they crave. In fact, this realization often leads to intense anger as they confront the worthlessness of what they spent all their time chasing. The journey through Purva Bhadrapada is undeniably arduous, but that is to be expected with such a potent force. They are called to transcend their attachments, lest they be forcefully ripped away. They begin to grapple with an inescapable emptiness they feel when interacting with the world, and this can often lead them to deep feelings of nihilism. Purva Bhadrapada natives are predisposed to being unhappy, and this is not a shallow kind of unhappiness that fades based on external circumstances. Rather, it is a deeply existential depression– a feeling of confused worthlessness and dissatisfaction they often battle with for the duration of their lives. Their experiences and attachments become increasingly burdensome as they grow more aware of the fleeting nature of life. These natives will openly acknowledge the impermanence of worldly intentions, and while this can be both good or bad, it ultimately makes their minds unpredictable and unstable. With the recognition that nothing lasts forever, a new philosophy can be used to justify any action according to moral relativism. If nothing matters in the grand scheme – where whatever you do will eventually fade into obscurity, wiped away with the start of a new cycle – then anything you do doesn’t really matter in the end. This gives these natives a sense of untouchability, a feeling to do whatever they please at their most uninhibited. And it is in this stage of recognizing one’s freedom to do whatever they want is that the test to discern their one’s nature begins. When there is total freedom, the only real concern becomes about what one chooses to do with their freedom. After all, the only harm that can come from doing what you want is ultimately the result of wanting to do something harmful. Sadly, the reality is that most people are not strong enough to fully resist the temptation of evil and would fail this test. It is for this reason that this trial is exclusively administered to individuals who possess a high level of spiritual advancement found under Purva Bhadrapda. Regardless of the difficulties they face, those governed by Purva Bhadrapada have tremendous inner strength and personal resilience, which often manifests in worldly and spiritual achievement and prosperity in various facets of their lives.
Individuals born under the influence of the Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra are inherently inclined towards detachment from external influences. This detachment often leads them down two distinct paths. Some choose to embrace a life unbound by societal norms, driven solely by their inner convictions. These individuals seek to experience life to the fullest, embracing both its joys and challenges. However, if they feel unfulfilled, they may turn to darker pursuits in search of excitement. Conversely, others utilize their detachment for spiritual advancement, renouncing materialism in favor of a disciplined quest for higher truths. In both cases, detachment becomes a defining trait, shaping their lives in divergent yet meaningful ways. Whether they become revolutionary leaders or appear lazy due to their selective motivation, their actions are stirred only by what truly invigorates their souls. Their inner character often changes with time. They can start out seeming quite innocent and fragile, and a lot of the time they will have something about them that invites torment, be it their big and eccentric personalities, their height, their weight, their looks, etc. This often leads people to perceive them as different and vulnerable. Unfortunately, this vulnerability often attracts individuals who seek to exploit, victimize, or corrupt them. There's a noticeable pattern of others attempting to take advantage of their perceived weakness, whether it be through just trying to make them feel bad, manipulating them, coercing them to do things they do not want to, or forcing them to be alone by treating them as outcasts. This predatory behavior can leave these individuals feeling isolated, betrayed, and miserable, further fueling their inner turmoil and sense of disillusionment with the world around them. However, this also serves to strengthen them. During the course of their lives, they will experience a series of external transformations that will change who they are. While their soft and innocent demeanor may still be present in some ways, there will be a new darker side to their nature. The inner transformations that Purva Bhadrapada natives undergo change them into stronger, more hardened versions of themselves. This alteration can manifest in tendencies towards violence, aggression, deceit, manipulation, etc., yet at the same time, it also equips them with the strength and capability to protect others when needed. As they navigate the complexities of life, they become formidable forces, possessing the resilience and detachment to confront challenges head-on along with the capacity to wield their strength for both good and evil.
Purva Bhadrapada natives exhibit a curious mix of flippancy and seriousness, often displaying a casual attitude towards many topics yet simultaneously exuding an air of solemnity in regards to topics concerning things like philosophical and existential inquiries. They possess a keen intellect characterized by innovation and depth of gnosis, which lends to their excellence in fields like science and research. Additionally, they are known to have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and information gathering brought about by a powerful yearning for deeper truth. While they may have a religious inclination, their focus lies more on unraveling the essence of spirituality rather than adhering rigidly to dogma. As a result of their approach to religion, they can sometimes be critical of conventional religious practices, which rely heavily on dogmatic rules and rituals. These natives are generally liberal and disdain hypocrisy as well as superficiality, valuing authenticity and depth in both thought and action, regardless of how much it clashes with anything else. Despite their show of outward confidence, they often wrestle with inner self-doubt and a crippling fear of failure, which leaves little room for optimism when they are faced with setbacks. While they typically prefer to be alone, they may inadvertently rely on others when seeking to escape the monotony of their everyday lives. This can make them seem unreliable or inconsistent when it comes to their relationships. They are driven by an innate desire to transcend mediocrity and to be perceived as exceptional. This drive for superior distinction stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and a fear of judgment, compelling them to constantly push the boundaries and strive for success through originality in all aspects of their lives. In their personal relationships, Purva Bhadrapada natives may struggle to balance their need for independence with their desire for connection. Generally, in their interactions with others, Purva Bhadrapada natives are intense yet detached. Despite their desire for authenticity and closeness in relationships, they may struggle to express their openly, fearing rejection or misunderstanding. This internal conflict between their need for connection and their fear of vulnerability can create barriers to intimacy, causing them to retreat through self-imposed isolation. Additionally, their critical nature and high standards can sometimes alienate others, as they can come across as overly judgmental or demanding of their fitness, partners, colleagues, etc. They value depth and sincerity in relationships, but sometimes it can be too much to where they end up pushing others away with their intensity. Despite these challenges, they are still often very empathetic and understanding, and they can offer support to people when needed.
Before I get into the padas, I want to give some examples. I do not want to go into much detail or take up too much time with this, but given the very complicated nature of this nakshatra, I feel that it is necessary to provide media representations for people to look into if they are interested in knowing more about how it manifests: Martin Scorsese PB Moon and Andrew Garfield PB ASC (Silence Official Trailer (2016) - Paramount Pictures), Billie Eilish PB ASC (Billie Eilish - bury a friend (Official Music Video)), Jack Black PB Moon (School of Rock (2003) Trailer #1 Movieclips Classic Trailers), Dylan O'brien PB Moon (AMERICAN ASSASSIN - Official Trailer - HD (Dylan O'Brien, Michael Keaton), Logan-Marshall Green (Upgrade Trailer #1 (2018) Movieclips Trailers), Paul Walker PB Moon (Hours TRAILER (2013) - Paul Walker Movie HD), Bill Skarsgard PB Moon (The Crow - Official Trailer (2024) Bill Skarsgård, FKA twigs, Danny Huston), Olivia Wilde PB Sun (A VIGILANTE Official HD International Trailer Starring Olivia Wilde) & (The Lazarus Effect Official Trailer #1 (2015) - Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass Movie HD), John Stamos PB ASC (John Stamos Stars in "Secrets of Eden" Lifetime), Hozier PB Sun (the lyrics and imagery of this video are extremely Purva Bhadrapada) Hozier - Take Me To Church), Kaya Scoledario PB Sun (Spinning Out Official Trailer Netflix), Ryan Gosling PB ASC (THE FALL GUY Official Trailer 2 (Universal Studios) - HD), Camila Mendes PB Moon (Do Revenge Official Trailer Netflix), Bryan Cranston PB Sun (Breaking Bad Trailer), Sabrina Carpenter PB Moon and Milo Manheim PB Sun (Sabrina Carpenter - Feather (Official Video) Alexandra Daddario PB Sun (Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches Trailer: Starring Alexandra Daddario AMC+), Jacob Elordi PB Moon (2 HEARTS Official Trailer (2020) Jacob Elordi, Tiera Skovbye), Tom Blyth PB Moon (Billy The Kid (EPIX 2022 Series) Official Trailer), Daniel Gillies PB Sun (COMING HOME IN THE DARK Trailer (2021) Daniel Gillies Suspense Thriller Movie), Matthew Gray Gubler PB Sun (KING KNIGHT Trailer (2022) Angela Sarafyan, Matthew Gray Gubler), Jon Hamm (Corner Office (2023) Official Trailer - Jon Hamm, Danny Pudi, Sarah Gadon), Rachel Weisz PB Sun + Moon and Sam Claflin PB Moon (MY COUSIN RACHEL Official Trailer FOX Searchlight), Chris Pine PB Moon (Jack Reacher Movie Trailer), Madison Beer PB Sun (Madison Beer - Make You Mine (Official Music Video), Sharon Stone PB Sun (Basic Instinct - Trailer (1080p)), and Michael Jackson PB Moon (Michael Jackson - Thriller (Official 4K Video).
Padas
(mostly for Moon) They all tend to be skinny to middle weight until they get older, where they either become more muscular or plump/curvy.
1st – The first pada of Purva Bhadrapada, falling in the Aries Navamsa, signifies a stage of primal energy and raw ambition. With Mars as their guiding force, they exhibit a relentless drive to achieve their goals, refusing to be deterred by obstacles or setbacks. However, being the initial pada of the nakshatra just leaving the stage of Shatabhisha, this quarter is the least spiritually developed. While they may possess great worldly ambition and the capacity for success, they may also be prone to ego-driven actions and an overly narrow focus on material pursuits. They can get into occultism or spirituality, but it is usually an attempt to further themselves in the material realm. Natives born under this pada possess a combative nature, always ready to engage in confrontations to defend their beliefs or assert their dominance. They tend to be more mentally aggressive than physically, but nonetheless their volatile temperament can lead to physical disputes as well when they are provoked enough. They know they can be very damaging when they lose control, so they will do everything in their power to prevent escalation. Ironically, this can make them seem passive. They typically exhibit anxious tendencies while attempting to conceal or downplay their feelings of worry. Natives of this pada are extremely passionate, but they have a tendency to constantly compare themselves to others, which ultimately can lead them to disregard their efforts to focus on surpassing someone else's. This propensity of theirs for aggression, envy, and competitiveness can strain relationships and hinder their personal growth, as they become consumed by their own desires for dominance and validation. They are usually medium tall with a wide forehead and low eyebrows.
2nd – The second pada of Purva Bhadrapada, ruled by Venus in the Taurus Navamsa, embodies a stage of sensual indulgence and creative expression. Individuals born under this pada are drawn to the occult and mysteries of the unseen, often delving into practices such as astrology and black magic. There is a bit of detachment from the mysticism of it at this stage though. They may prefer to look at it through a scientific or philosophical perspective as opposed to one that embraces faith in the divine. While their interest in these esoteric realms may lead to proficiency in such arts, it also heightens their propensity to lose track of their life's direction, becoming absorbed in the pursuit of hidden knowledge and power. Natives of this pada are characterized by their attractive physique, with beautiful broad teeth and strikingly captivating eyes that draw others to them. They possess an innate charm that makes them highly appealing to the opposite sex, and they are not hesitant to indulge in their darker desires and fantasies. Their creativity knows no bounds, as they constantly innovate and explore new avenues of expression. However, despite their magnetic allure and creative flair, individuals of this pada are prone to indulgence and excess, particularly when it comes to satisfying their sensual appetites. Their pursuit of pleasure and gratification can sometimes lead them astray, causing them to lose sight of their responsibilities and priorities. This stage of Purva Bhadrapada is more spiritually evolved than the prior, but it is still in the accumulation phase of Aquarius and the 11th house. Despite their outward charm, they may struggle to find stability and balance in their lives. They are prone to accidents.
3rd – The third pada of Purva Bhadrapada falls in the Gemini Navamsa and is ruled by Mercury. Natives born under this pada embody the mental side of Purva Bhadrapada, which is very focused on cultivating critical reasoning and gathering information, emphasizing communication, learning, and adaptability. Individuals born under this pada are intellectually inclined, constantly seeking to expand their knowledge and understanding of the world around them. They are playful and curious by nature, approaching life with a sense of wonder and exploration. Their energy is expressed through communication and expression, as they excel in articulating their thoughts and ideas. They have a natural gift for language and may find success in fields such as writing, teaching, or public speaking. Despite their playful demeanor, they are still very serious about their pursuits, driven by a deep-seated desire for personal growth and self-improvement. Natives of this pada tend to be peaceful and honorable, seeking harmony and balance in their interactions with others. However, their mercurial nature can sometimes manifest as manipulation or deceit, particularly when they perceive it necessary to achieve their goals. Nonetheless, they are skilled at navigating social situations and may possess a knack for making money through their cleverness and resourcefulness. In terms of appearance, individuals of this pada may have gaunt lower cheeks, high cheekbones, a narrow and defined jawline, and a medium stature. These physical characteristics complement their sharp wit and agile minds, making them engaging in social settings.
4th – The fourth pada of Purva Bhadrapada is ruled by the Moon in Cancer Navamsa. This is the most spiritually advanced of all the padas and tends to be among the most intense. At this stage, individuals born under this pada have either undergone profound inner transformation, shedding their attachment to worldly desires and material gains for the sake of aligning with the cosmic order, or they have fallen for the empty temptations of material life, leading them to a deeper state of moral decay. This pada in the sequence of this nakshatra symbolizes the finalization of death, and just like when we die, the impact of our lives can no longer be altered. You are called to surrender all you have acquired to the purifying flames of the spiritual fire, relinquishing personal benefit for the greater good, and if you fail, your soul will be lost to another cycle of rebirth. This represents the height of the nakshatra's power to manifest, it can come to be either an uplifting force for individuals and humanity as a whole, or as a potentially dangerous influence. Those born under this pada are deeply engaged in their own spiritual pursuits, usually guided by a sense of purpose and higher calling. They possess an innate magnetism and power that exerts influence over others and the world around them. Despite the intensity of their spiritual journey, individuals of this pada tend to enjoy good longevity and robust health, thanks to their deep connection with the cosmic energies. They are often perceived charismatic individuals, drawing others to them with their presence. However, their innate power comes with a responsibility to wield it wisely, as they hold the potential to bring about significant positive change or destruction, depending on how they choose to channel it.
Caste
Purva Bhadrapada belongs to the Brahmin or priestly/scholarly caste. This classification is based on the inherent qualities and tendencies of individuals born under this nakshatra, rather than their family lineage, as seen in contemporary caste systems. In Vedic astrology and Hindu tradition, each nakshatra is associated with as caste, thereby linking them to specific attributes, occupations, and societal roles. Brahmin is positioned as the highest caste and is given the most power and responsibility, both socially and spiritually. In classical texts, the Brahmin caste is exalted for its dedication to scholarship, spirituality, and moral rectitude. Brahmins are depicted as the keepers of sacred knowledge, entrusted with the preservation and dissemination of ancient scriptures and teachings. They are revered for their intellectual prowess, philosophical insights, and commitment to upholding the highest ethical standards. Brahmins are expected to lead lives of austerity, simplicity, and self-discipline, setting examples of virtue and righteousness for society. Additionally, they play important roles in leading religious rituals, ceremonies, and spiritual practices, acting as intermediaries between individuals and the divine. Their contributions also extend beyond religious and intellectual realms though, as they also provide guidance, counseling, and healing to individuals and communities. Overall, Brahmins are portrayed as paragons of virtue, wisdom, and enlightenment, embodying the highest ideals of human excellence and divine knowledge as described in classical texts, acting as oases of wisdom by guiding society not only in matters of spirituality but also in areas such as literature, philosophy, and science. Their primary occupations are mostly associated with administration of all sectors of society, teaching, healing, and providing spiritual guidance. Its intersection with Aquarius Rashi on the ecliptic plane may also relate it to Kshatriya and Shudra.
Gunas
The nakshatras each represent the different gunas at different levels of functioning. For this asterism, it might be confusing to find out that, despite all of its negative connotations, it is associated primarily with Sattva or purity/balance. This mainly stems from this Nakshatra's capacity for penance, spiritualism, and generosity. Overall, Purva Bhadrapada is associated with two levels of Sattva and one of Rajas. Sattva prevails at the physical and mental levels, while Rajas predominates at the spiritual level. At the physical level, individuals born under Purva Bhadrapada exhibit qualities of purity, harmony, and balance. They are often composed, grounded, and possess a sense of stability in their physical endeavors. Mentally, they tend to exhibit clarity, wisdom, and a penchant for introspection when they are only focused on engaging their rational mind. This can get muddy when they try to incorporate less tangible aspects into their thinking though. At the spiritual level, the influence of Rajas emerges, driving them towards spiritual growth and evolution but also threatening them with the struggle of inner turmoil. With Rajas at the most personal level of the spirit, this can cause a onstant seeking pf external validation and gratification, which leads to things such as constantly chasing after fleeting desires and pleasures from their lack of contentment. Additionally, the intense drive associated with Rajas may result in overexertion, burnout, and a disregard for self-care. It can lead to an inflated ego, arrogance, and a tendency towards manipulative or self-serving behavior. Therefore, while Rajas can propel individuals towards spiritual evolution, it also poses challenges that need to be navigated with mindfulness and self-awareness. Together with the heavy influence of Sattva, Rajas in this nakshatra creates a spiritual restlessness that works to propel these natives to actively engage in spiritual practices, seeking to transcend worldly limitations and attain spiritual liberation. It comes with risk, but this is a necessary trial.
Gana
Purva Bhadrapada Nakshatra falls under the category of Manushya Gana, or "human/mixed species." This designation speaks to the inherent qualities and tendencies of individuals born under this nakshatra, aligning them with human characteristics and behaviors. People belonging to the Manushya Gana Nakshatras, including Purva Bhadrapada, place value on their self-worth and esteem. They often enjoy good physical attributes and are blessed with fortune, leading comfortable lives. With warm and friendly personalities, they exhibit care and affection towards their family, friends, and loved ones, readily offering assistance to those in need. However, they also prioritize their own interests and benefits. They are known for their warm and caring nature, and while they may appear busy if approached, they are capable of balancing their personal and professional lives effectively. The path of those born under Manushya Gana nakshatras is undefined. They possess the potential to exhibit both positive and negative qualities, akin to the diverse nature of humanity itself. They have the potential to be even more evil than the Rakshas and even more good than the Devas. While some may lean towards acts of kindness and generosity, others may display tendencies that are less altruistic. This blend of qualities makes them a complex combination qualities you might see for the Deva and Rakshasa Ganas. Keep in mind that you should look at the dominant Gana in your chart to gain a better understanding of how this may apply to you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this if you did. I will have to continue this in a third part because I'm out of room on this post. Afterwards, I will be starting on Shravana Nakshatra soon, and then later on Anuradha.

Right now I’m gravitating around Fear Innoculum by Tool, Manic Depression by Jimi Hendrix, and The killer is me by Alice In Chains.
Fear Innoculum with lyrics like “Venom from mania” and “Forfeit all control, you poison, you spectacle”, ‘you’ being the illness.
Manic Depression, because well, manic depression. It’s perfect and I remember listening to it before I got my diagnosis and I remember thinking: “Wouldn’t it be ‘funny’ if I end up actually having bipolar”?
And The killer is me, because of its themes of self sabotage and themes of starting over while/after struggling with illness and hardship. “Can I start over and get over it” hits me hard.

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

Hello, beta-readers of Reddit! I'm a novice writer who has recently picked up the pen again. I'm looking to improve upon my writing; but I feel as though I've hit a block reading and rereading and editing myself. I'm hoping a fresh pair of eyes and a new perspective might help!
I'm happy to swap stories- I'm open to reading almost any genre- with the caveat that is is paired in some way with fantasy- though I have been known to get sucked into a good sci-fi! I'm not particularly fond of gritty realism or nonfiction, and I'll struggle to get through anything historical or even set in the modern day without a touch of whimsy. I love progression fantasy, and adore a good irreverent protagonist. If you've got an expansive and interesting worldbuilding project you are working on, I'd love to hear all about it and swap ideas! Let me get lost in the universes you've created! Speculative biology is also somewhat of a passion of mine that I've been delving back into as of late, so I'm also happy to help workshop creature designs and descriptions!
I'm seeking critiques on pacing, characterization, dialogue, and I'd love questions about the world/worldbuilding- the story I'm seeking a beta for here is one of three currently set in the same overarching world- though in different time periods/locations. I'm constructing my own magic-system for this world, with the soul and its connection to the mind and body being the core building blocks of this system! I very much enjoy progression fantasy.. but I also dislike hard and fast rules and numbers that quantify the unquantifiable. IF you're into that sort of thing, I have maps, charts, and docs with worldbuilding I'm happy to share- but none of it is necessary to beta this story if that doesn't interest you! I DO have 2 other stories in progress set in the same world, as well- all are currently about the same length.
This will be an adult fantasy romance. The current setting has some semi-modern technological advancements replicated utilizing magic. There ARE some smut scenes I have written- but I can remove them and hold those separately if it isn't something you are comfortable reading!
Trigger warnings: Potential graphic descriptions of violence, medical procedures, or injuries. Heavier themes like sapience/what makes one human may be approached. Depictions of sex, dubious consent, likely a lot of death. Not intended to be a dark/depressing story; but dark/depressing themes are likely to come up/be touched on. Smut scenes can be removed if that proves an issue.
Small part of the story outline/summary I've written is included below.
Wynne is an acolyte and healer in The Order of The Dragon Prime, a secret cult worshiping the Devoured God, Sunnaerus. Her particular branch of The Order is dedicated to researching souls to better understand their composition and power. Having discovered some texts dating back to The Age of Strife hundreds of years prior detailing the creation of certain types of monsters via a process known as ‘soul fusion’, Wynne's branch of The Order is dedicated to studying of the souls of these creatures’ descendants to discover the true power of the soul. They are currently researching a species known as 'Oni' by the locals. Wynne is a low-level member who joined the cult to escape her father, and further her research on healing and souls. She is responsible for the intake, processing, and preparing the creatures for study, harvest and experimentation, as well as healing them after more rigorous procedures and harvests of materials. Despite finding their treatment of monsters barbaric, Wynne is unable to leave without risking her own life and the Oni's, and attempts to keep them as comfortable as possible, often going against or twisting orders to try and better provide for them. Due to her usefulness as a healer, and her good relationship with several of the Elders, she is given some liberties around the facility.
The story begins as Wynne prepares for the intake procedure of a newly-captured Oni- Subject 4.
Link to an excerpt
If any of what you've read here sounds interesting, don't hesitate to DM me! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post. Hope you have a lovely evening!

Did I make a mistake in ending a friendship because of their friendship with my ex?
Context: I moved to a certain city when I started college and joined a “club” of sorts (trying to keep details as vague as possible I’m sorry!). While there I met this person and within a couple months we were dating. The relationship lasted a year and a half and got progressively more toxic— they had serious psychological issues and wouldn’t really seek help, and they often made me their ONLY source of support. Their happiness was entirely dependent on me and I became seriously depressed (I also have my own issues, and dealing with mine on top of theirs was killing me). I eventually ended the relationship. Around a year into that relationship I met a mutual friend of theirs who quickly became much closer to me than my ex, to the point where my ex was incredibly jealous. After the breakup, we remained best friends, despite them being friends with my ex too. Over the last 6 months, the friend started acting strangely— would express weirdly intense interest in my interests, wanted to see me every day, would post vague romance-themed posts on her stories about me, etc). People started assuming we were dating, and I asked her to back off a bit (she did not). Eventually, my roommate (who also knew my ex), showed to me a snapchat conversation between them and my ex wherein my ex said that my best friend had been venting to them about me for MONTHS. This was absolutely not okay with me considering we were NC and I was deeply affected by the relationship. I confronted my friend about it, and they denied ever speaking to my ex until I told them what I had seen with my own eyes) and asked them for space. They proceeded to text me long essays about how she regretted talking to my ex even though they knew I wouldn’t be okay with it, and that they were sorry I felt like they had wronged me (it was all just defense and denial). I didn’t respond and moved on. Several days ago, I received a much longer text wherein they blamed me for everything, told me I was wrong about what happened, that I’m selfish, and that I was being inconsiderate of how hard it was for them to be friends with both me and my ex and they’ve only ever “loved [me] and been there for [me]”. I blocked them, and now I’ve heard from several people that they’re telling everyone at our mutual workplace it was all my fault. They hate me now.
This friend meant a lot to me but I feel I was very clear with the boundary about my ex. I’m not saying I’m 100% in the right about everything— my ex was my first real relationship and I definitely made mistakes as well, and I probably could’ve been more upfront with the friend about how I was feeling sooner instead of letting it brew. I just want this situation to be over but all I can think about is how the friend told me I hurt them so badly for “no reason”.
TLDR: my best friend talked to my toxic ex about me after we broke up despite my clear wish that my ex know nothing about me, and got incredibly upset when I ended the friendship. Now they’re spreading lies about me. Did I overreact?

Like 3.0, 5.0 has very interesting concepts from subverting the light dark dynamic established in the same game to it's themes of memory, sacrifice, and ghosts seen in the various ruins in the game voebrite and amurot in particular, to it's major characters crystal exarch, emet-selch, and ardbert.
The theme of ghosts is the one I find most interesting. So many parts if the past that should be dead linger in this story. There's all the ruins throughout Noverant from voebrite in Ill Mheg to the old kingdom in Amh Areng and finally Amurot and the ancients themselves. ardbert and emy have a lot of parallels. Both are ghosts in some sense, remnants of time past. They are both existences that should no longer be but are still here, bound to tasks not yet complete. Both are weary but unable to rest, like seriously the two most depressed characters in shb and they both give depression monologues. Both have failed their duties somehow. They continue on, they have work to be done, their role not yet finished. And then there are those who are haunted. The crystal exarch too is a ghost in a sense outliving his original timeline. And all 3 have been changed in some way. Hades confined in a hyur form and thralled to zodiark. G'raha with his body partly crystallized. And Ardbert is a literal ghost besides being a figurative one. And then there are those who are haunted, whether by death or by failure it comes with most of the world ending.
Everyone in 5.0 has depression.
On sacrifice. emet-selch is portrayed as being wrong to sacrifice all life to the shards to resurrect the ancients, that he shouldn't sacrifice the present lives to try and restore a lost past. But ironworks sacrificing an entire timeline is framed as noble with g'raha and the player character carrying on their hopes. When that doomed timeline also chose to give up on it's current people and devote everything to restoring the past. The best way I have come to reconcile this this sacrifice of the self vs sacrificing others like the ascians are trying to do. There's a strong theme of sacrifice overall in 5.0, outside of emet-selch and Ironworks there's also the ancients in general sacrificing half their survivors to create Zodiak and half again to bring life back to the world, and then the dissenting faction sacrificing their lives to create Hydaelyn. There's G'raha's attempted sacrifice his life and his dreams to save the player character's life and tke the light with him. There's the soldiers that died protecting the Crystarium from sin eaters and Eulmore.
And so ardbert, emet-selch, and the crystal exarch the primarily characters if 5.0 all reflect each other. They are people out of place and out of time, from an era past. They are all tied by duty and this duty involves the player character in some way. None of them are where they want to be, whether that be physically, temporally or metaphorically. All of them act for what is best for the universe and more than that are motivated by making things "right" they have a vision of how the world should be which is tied to the past. The crystal exarch literally time traveled back to the past o fix things the ascians are fixated on restoring their lost ancient brethren and the world the lost, and Ardbert less so but reflects on how places have changed as the player journeys across noverant. And they are haunted by their failures especially emet-selch and ardbert. These parallels would have been further highlighted if the crystal exarch also died, but he hasn't.
I finished 5.0. I enjoyed it the writing for msq has been continually improving and 5.0 is better than any of the x.0 but it's overrated. people talk as if it's one of the best stories ever and no it's not. It's good for an mmo but on it's own merits it's not an excellent story. I'd put 5.0 on par with octopath traveler 1, 5.0 does have it's moments. The amurot section in general is my favorite, and 5.0 tells a lot of good mini arcs like the relationship between yshtola and the nights blessed or the war between crystalarium and eulmore. I liked how things have wrapped back around to gods, aether, and primals.
But it's also quite messy like the other expansions and a lot of little things feel forced like something is happening for the plot to move forward instead of having the progression and in universe justification. I can see what the writers are trying to do but the execution isn't quite there, like with the talos the devs wanted everyone to come together and achieve something. so if i don't think about the details it's a nice story but the more i think about it the more problems there are. or another way to put it the outline is fine the elevator pitch is great, but the details and execution and actual writing leave something to be desired. The writing is indeed better but I'm not sure I'd call it good yet, 5.0 does have it's moments, but I think the biggest different between 2.0 and 5.0 is that shb is much flashier, it's showy and with fun animations and voice acting and actual cutscenes and has modern music just on the showmanship aspect and production value of course the people are going to like it more. It also has fleshed out storylines. But looking at the flaws on shb no wonder ffxvi is a trainwreck, but a flashy trainwreck.
I love Feo Ul but they are just so plot breakingly powerful it's a little ridiculous, feo ul ex machina.
edit: about octopath, that's the point. everyone thinks the story sucks and objectively 5.0 isn't really better despite people giving it leeway for being an mmo.

Looking for bookbuddies who love reading dark, sad and depressing books. I am a new convert into the genre, mainly loved thrillers/mysteries previously. But I read The book thief, cried myself to sleep for a week and ever since love novels which pulls your heart out, tears it up into a million pieces and then burns them to ashes.
None of my friends/acquaintances read novels, so a shoutout to the reddit gods to give me a crybuddy to share these journeys with, talk about them and generally try to remain sane ......
Have been reading books with a similar war based themes (salt to the sea - Ruta Sepetys, The women - Kristin Hannah) ... but would love to expand to other kinds too.
Considering reading Hanya Yanagihara's - A little life next or anything else you wish to recommend :).

“My road has been long and weary, friend”, my annoyance with the bartender was surely obvious. I snatched the whiskey coke from the bar and sucked it down greedily.
“All I’m sayin’ is that it’s noon on a monday there, bud”, his cigarette-charred throat made him sound rougher than his years. Bud… I never really cared for that word, bud. Especially considering I was at least a hundred and fifty years his senior.
“I got all the time in the world”, I sighed, motioning at the empty glass. Without hurry, he refilled the cup. I turned from the bar and scanned the rest of the room, studying the empty chairs waiting for their next patron to arrive. Aside from the old farmer nursing on a corn-themed Busch can, it was utterly empty. It was days like these I hated the most.
I’ve spent many monday afternoons in taverns like these. I’ve also spent them rebuilding our nation after a bloody war, taking part in two more bloody wars overseas and helping countless folk along the way. I watched the Red Scare pull at those old seams, starved with my brothers and sisters during the depression and everything between. Somehow, someway, days like these were even worse.
Lethargic gluttony.
In all my years, all one hundred and sixty eight, this is far and away the most prosperous. It just seems that nobody cares. No more comradery through the pain, or maybe pain brings comradery? I think so.
One hundred and forty six years since I drank the water from a nondescript stream in the backyard of our childhood home. Sweet Lips, what a fitting name for the town it all started in.
I started a family once, maybe a decade after I’d first drank that crick water. We, Mary and I, had two kids, one who survived. I wish that I could say it was a happy life we led but she grew… suspicious. As we approached our 60th cycle around the Sun she became suspicious that my 20s-something face hadn’t aged a day during all that time. She fled and I wandered on alone.
I wedded twice more. My second wife, Isabella, took my things and ran off with another man… another man who I will get to later. Finally, there was Elizabath. Oh, how I loved that little spitfire, her sweet, freckled face. We’d met at a pub in the Bronx a couple years after the end of the second world war. I went to great lengths to hide my past, to hide how long I had really been around for. If it wasn’t for the brain cancer, that little spot on her pituitary gland, then I’m sure she would’ve found out and left anyways. That’s what I try to tell myself.
I will never love again.
“Ya’ alright there?”, I jumped, turning from the window back toward the gravel voiced gentleman staring uneasily my way.
“Just fine, the sunshine feels good”, I relished the dim warmth radiating from the window for a moment longer before shuffling back into the dingy midst of the Green Bottle Blues Inn. I hadn’t been to this bar before, though it felt similar to the hundreds of others I’d visited along my journeys through the American midwest.
“Another?”, the gravel-voiced man was washing out a glass in the dirty sink behind the bar, a damp towel clung limply to his shoulder.
“Sure, but I oughta’ get goin’ afterward”, my smile felt even emptier than the glass I slid toward the man. He glanced at me quizzically before pulling the bottle of whiskey down from the top shelf. I suppose, with enough time, you can afford even the finer things.
“What’s your name, fella?”, he returned the smile though his brow remained furrowed. He was studying me. No surprises there, fella, I’m a couple steps ahead of you.
“Tom, just Tom, not short for nothin’”, I replied, bringing the amber liquid to my lips. I took a deep pull and met the mans gaze. His eyes widened as he took an obvious step backward. Slowly, however, that professional smile returned to his lips.
“What brings you back here, Tom?”, his hands had disappeared beneath the bar, though his eyes stayed level with mine.
To these folks, I was the antichrist. I suppose I can’t blame them for the aggression.
“I was thinkin’ about paying my old brother a visit, as I’m sure you know”, I shrugged, struggling to get the last drop of Drambuie from the glass.
Truthfully, I hadn’t been welcome in Sweet Lips ever since my brother and I fell out all those years ago. All those decades ago. He chose a different route with his immortality.
The gravel-voiced man stiffened, revealing the double-barrel shotgun he had fished from underneath the bar. He stuck the barrel directly in my face.
“Jesus, you treat all your customers like this?”, I replied coolly, still clutching that empty thing in my hands. The man seemed to buckle a bit and laugh, a nervous chuckle it was.
“No sir, nobody but you”, he straightened himself up, revealing his massive frame. Big man, big man.
I stood slowly, leaning in close to the mans face as the barrel of his gun drew further back. His eyes were hectic, seemingly shaking in their deep sockets.
“He’s lead you astray, y’know”, I bared my teeth, my teeth which would've been dust if not for the water in that little stream.
The only thing that hurt as much as Elizabath, maybe even more, was watching my dear brother grow so bitter through the years. The only other person who shared this curse with me had chosen to do harm to those around him. It makes me sick.
I gripped the glass more harshly, swinging my arm toward the man's face. Suddenly, something stopped. I turned right and noticed the thick, rough hands clutching at my arm. The old man. The fucking old man.
The gun butt swung, and the world went quiet.
The church spire stood tall and obscenely white against the cloudless sky, bending almost imperceptibly at its tip like it was a misplaced set piece of a Tim Burton stop-motion film. Curled, decrepit grass jutted from underneath its foundations like dying hands reaching for help. A well made of gray stone and mortar resided no more than ten yards in front of the vestibule.
Two men clung at each arm, though I doubted I could make a run for it in my current state. A circle of various people surrounded the well, all of them were adorned in either red dresses or red suits.
In the very center of the group, standing directly behind the well, was an all-too-familiar face. He smiled, a hideous grin.
“I knew you’d come”, he hiccupped, trying to stifle a laugh. I could only watch helplessly, my obliterated nose filling my mouth with the coppery taste of blood.
“Tom”, his smile fell flat, his eyes burning through me with all the horrors of a thousand lifetimes, “I wanted you to have a front row seat”.
My brother, Timothy, began pulling at the rope hanging deep down in the well. A bucket, like most wells, was at the other end. He produced a knife and sliced the buckets fraying rope, careful not to spill any of its contents while doing so.
Timothy fell to one knee, presenting the receptacle to the man standing to his left. He accepted, bringing the rim of the bucket to his lips and taking a deep, satisfying pull. The man smiled, a sinister, deviant smile before passing the bucket onward.
“Soon, Tom, this world will be ours”, Timothy declared, his face remaining flat and emotionless.
As soon as the last of the townsfolk, the last member of the Sweet Lips Congregation, took a swig from the well water, the men released me. I fell in a heap. I never thought he would share the water, I knew I should’ve come sooner.
“Let him go, he’s gonna need a head start”, the immortal man spat.

I wasn't planning on watching Thrice Upon A Time. I had not liked the previous films and they seemed like a very inferior product compared to the original anime. However, the good reviews and opinions I saw about it encouraged me to do so. I did it with as open and tolerant a mind as possible, knowing that there was a good chance I wouldn't like the film. "What's the worst that could happen? That I don't like it and continue to prefer the original series? At least I'll be entertained for two and a half hours," I thought. What I did not expect at all is the deep feeling of disgust and repulsion that this film provoked in me, in a way that no other film has provoked in years.
I hated the movie from start to finish. I could spend hours talking about the boring action sequences, about its ugly, excessive CGI that ruins the already ugly mecha, about its disgusting hypersexualization of fucking 14-year-old girls, about how Misato's plans don't make sense, about how Last Kiss almost made me tear my ears off, or its plot full of Deus Ex Machinas with concepts conveniently taken by Hideaki Anno from the place that his last name suggests; but the real reason I'm writing this is because I feel like these movies spit on everything the excellent original work represents.
Not only because as adaptations they fail miserably, but also because they retroactively damage the original work (we'll talk about that later).
Before I begin to explain why the rebuilds are bad adaptations, I want to warn that I am going to do a relatively exhaustive review of the 4 films, so this rant is going to be very long, like staying up late on a winter night with chronic insomnia. That said, let's start to see the reasons:
WHAT IS NEON GENESIS EVANGELION?:
To understand why rebuilds fail as remakes, I must first ask you, dear reader: What does Neon Genesis Evangelion mean to you? (it should at least be familiar to you, unless you've spent your life under a bridge) What do you think about when you read that title, apart from Shinji fucking in front of a comatose Asuka? What comes to mind when you hear the most famous opening in anime history, apart from Shinji strangling the otter against Happy Thursday's throat? (in more ways than one). If your answer is: "It's a mecha anime for emos with a coomer protagonist", that's fine, I respect that; but please press the red "X" in the top right corner of your screen, you can now leave.
Now, I'm going to get serious and explain my definition: Evangelion is a work about the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties of forming emotional bonds that human beings have, as well as the consequences of trying to separate from them for fear of rejection. It is not a story about heroes. It's not a story about saving the world. In Evangelion there are neither heroes nor villains, but rather a group of emotionally broken characters trying to be happy in a world just as broken as them. The real enemy of Evangelion is not the angels. It is the lack of communication and empathy.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilema_del_erizo
It is that same lack of communication and empathy that progressively causes everything to go to hell to conclude with a cathartic and bleak ending, but consistent with the themes of the work. It is therefore an existentialist work about human relationships disguised as a mecha anime. This, added to a unique visual style, daring direction, and mechas like never before seen on television, made Evangelion one of the most influential anime in all of history, as well as a true commercial success for Gainax Studio. Success that encouraged other studios to carry out projects such as Cowboy Bebop or Serial Experiment Lain, taking anime towards a new golden age.
Even today you can hear the echoes of that Third Impact of End of Evangelion in 1997. The list of works influenced by Evangelion both inside and outside of Japan is endless. Of course, it is not a perfect work, nor extensive in errors: its target audience is ambiguous, many of the biblical references are more for decoration than anything else, and several aspects of the ending(s) could have been explained better. However, many of these errors can be attributed to a lack of time and budget during the production of the original anime (which was quite chaotic and improvised); therefore, they are understandable and forgivable.
In summary, we can conclude that Evangelion is a dark, introspective, provocative and unique work (at least at its time). This is also combined with a unique visual identity and complex characters whose relationships intertwine and interconnect throughout the work. The sum of all these factors is what led Evangelion to be such a critically acclaimed work that it transcended its own genre and became an icon of popular culture. And this in turn constitutes the biggest mistake of rebuilds; because they commit the biggest sin that an adaptation can commit: denying everything that made the original work great.
ADAPTING WITHOUT A CLEAR PURPOSE:
One of the biggest problems with these remakes (as well as a clear example of what I'm saying) is their total narrative inconsistency. Let me explain: the first rebuilds movie (1.11) is a literal copy-paste of the first 6 chapters of the original anime, with practically the same scenes, dialogues and even music. This makes the film completely redundant and unnecessary (and makes one wonder why it exists); But in any case, the message is being conveyed that the purpose of these remakes is to adapt the original series as faithfully as possible to the cinema with a current animation style.
However, the second movie (2.22) is a... something. A pastiche of new and old things where the plot broadly follows that of the original anime, but with many things changed (of course, for the worse) and a different ending. All this compressing no less than 14 chapters of the original anime into two and a half hours. Here the message that one can infer is that it seeks to adapt the original story (very briefly) by changing and rearranging certain elements, now more in line with what an adaptation is.
However, then we get to 3.33 and... well, after a 14-year because reasons timeskip, we're now in a post-post-apocalyptic world (repetition intended) where ex-Nerv members fight against Nerv itself. Nerv in giant spaceships, there are mechas everywhere, Misato is a sociopath, and Shinji and Asuka still look exactly the same because "DAMN JEBA." Here we can infer that what is sought is to create a totally new story and take it in different directions than the original. The following movie (3.0+1.01) is the only one that is consistent with this purpose.
Whether all these narrative pirouettes were planned in advance or not (clearly not), we can see that there is a clear incongruity between what is intended to be done and what is finally done. All of this generates a strong narrative chaos where the elements and themes of the original anime are mixed with the new ones, creating a total inconsistency. Since also in 3.0+1.01 it is revealed (unfortunately to me) that everything is part of the same universe and this is not really a remake, the excuse of "they are different universes, they don't have to be the same" doesn't work either.
In fact, one thing that you will see me comment a lot throughout this article is the lack of narrative consistency of these remakes, especially in comparison to the original work.
A HEDGEHOG WITHOUT TICKS:
No character in Evangelion better embodies the central theme of the work than Shinji Ikari, its own protagonist. Shinji is not a hero: he is not brave. He is not a genius. He is not charismatic. He is not selfless. He doesn't want to save the world. His reason for piloting the Eva is to gain recognition and appreciation from others; especially from his father, whom he hates, but at the same time admires; He feels that she despises him, but he also wants (and needs) that she loves him. Shinji spends the entire series in the dilemma between escaping from what hurts him (classic avoidance behavior) or accepting it and moving on, even at the risk of being hurt again.
This theme is rock solid throughout the entire original series: from the first to the last chapter of the anime, and from minute one to the very end of End of Evangelion. Even the opening itself makes several visual references to Shinji's hedgehog dilemma. This can make Shinji an infuriating character for audiences accustomed to typical anime protagonists; but it's those same things that make Shinji such a unique and special character. He deconstructs and subverts the hero's journey. And it's not as if this hinders the plot: Shinji is not proactive, but he also does not spend the series crying, as many often claim.
https://files.catbox.moe/eolho0.mp4
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomito
And as you may already be imagining, the Shinji of the rebuilds does not have a hedgehog's dilemma. Or rather, he has it, but only during the first movie (copy-paste of the original anime) and part of the second. This is a problem, because it creates a strong narrative inconsistency (again) where it seems that two Shinjis exist at the same time or that this one is bipolar. As of 3.33, Shinji's entire character arc is based on trying to redeem himself for his past mistakes first by unleashing "Almost Third Impact" (what a stupid name) and subsequently preventing Kaworu's death while trying to right said mistake.
Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. The problem is that I have already seen the arc of the hero who fails to eventually rise up and succeed in 100 trillion works, while the hedgehog's dilemma in none more than in Evangelion (at least in my case). Which makes Shinji a much less interesting character. Some might argue that in 3.0 + 1.01 Shinji does have such a dilemma because he spends half the movie crawling on the ground; but there is not a hedgehog's dilemma, but rather depression for having seen Kaworu's head go KAWOOM (I know, the joke was very bad, but if he didn't do it, I would explode too).
End of Evangelion's Shinji did have such a dilemma because the reason for his depression was having been manipulated and used by someone he had previously opened up to and then forced to kill him, not for failing in his mission (in fact, he was very efficient in her mission to separate Kaworu's head from her body), which in turn brings sexual (and later, deadly) results for Asuka. I insist: narrative consistency. But this is not the worst: the worst thing is that at certain moments in these films, Shinji becomes the typical shonen savior hero, betraying the central point of his character in the original series.
https://youtu.be/E-x-f2OrWeA
A perfect example of this is the ending of 2.22, where the fight in chapter 19 (COINCENTLY from where the original anime starts to get more introspective) is transformed into a ridiculous shipping attempt, with Rei turned into a damsel in distress and Shinji into a savior hero while spouting all the typical cliché lines, topped off with a disgustingly cheesy ending. But of course, how could it end otherwise? With Shinji's Eva practicing cannibalism on Zeruel's corpse (the original scene)? Too disturbing for current times. Shinji and Rei fighting as a team to defeat him? Yes of course. Rei has enough not being in the kitchen. Besides, Asuka already takes care of that, hoping to receive her alpha male's cock as a reward.
https://youtu.be/TPS0Uk0TkP0
Because, like any good modern anime protagonist, Shinji now has a harem.
FETISHING WITHOUT CONTROL:
Of all the characters who are now part of Shinji's harem, the one who is most harmed by this is Rei (Asuka's case is different, and the other character is an infernal creation from Anno's sick mind). Not only because acting like a bitch in heat goes totally against her personality and because of the murky situation, considering that she is a clone of Shinji's mother, but also because her character is reduced to a mere fetish object that does things cute to produce tenderness in the viewer and make coomers buy their figurines.
Rei is an interesting character because he raises numerous existential questions based on the ship of Theseus paradox: the concept of identity, to what extent we can consider ourselves still ourselves, the construction and definition of a "self", etc. But here, her screen time piloting her Unit 00 is minimal (COINCENTLY most of it in 1.11) and her exploits are practically irrelevant or non-existent, also being reduced to a mere damsel in distress at the end of 2.22, as I said before.
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoja_de_Teseo
In 3.0+1.01 he doesn't even get to pilot an Eva. Her role in the film is to cause pity and produce tenderness with her total ignorance (I see that the idiot Anno forgot that all the Reis are born with basic knowledge) while she is seen with different hairstyles, different outfits, working as a farmer, taking care of a baby, etc. In short, a fetish object where she wants the public to value her for how "moe" she is instead of for her abilities or as a character. In Anno's mind, feminism advances in reverse. Ironic, considering that it was precisely Rei who unintentionally started the moe culture.
Of course, it goes without saying that Rei is not the only one who suffers from this extreme fetishization of her character in these films. Under the excuse of paying homage to End of Evangelion, Asuka now always wears an eye patch (needless to say it has nothing to do with having been injured there), a cap with cat ears, in addition to having a very convenient trend for the coomer public of walking naked and semi-naked through other people's houses. She sometimes puts on the plugsuit, but near the end of the movie, it is conveniently torn off, lest we forget that this is made by the Japanese.
One of the best examples of how this hareminication has destroyed the main female characters is in the elevator scene. In the original anime, Rei tries to advise Asuka in a time of particular vulnerability and depression. Rei's limited social skills, coupled with Asuka being Asuka, cause her to misinterpret the attempt to help as mockery and an act of condescension, triggering a slap from her towards Rei and a worsening of her already strained relationship and Asuka's mental state. Rei doesn't fight back because she knows that doing so would only make things even worse.
It is an excellent dramatic scene because it once again brings to the foreground the hedgehog's dilemma and the difficulties between human relationships, very much in line with what Evangelion is. In 2.22, this scene is gratuitously introduced and turned into two horny bitches fighting over which of the two will let their alpha male penetrate first, with a highly OC Rei stopping the assault attempt in a 100% gangsta way to make her see more "cool." The scene doesn't even make plot sense, because Asuka at that moment is not even depressed, and in the original anime this occurs at a much later time under a very different context.
and speaking of asuka...
SOMEONE CALLED ASUKA:
When I started watching these movies, I was afraid that Asuka's character had undergone modifications to make her more "palatable" to new audiences. What took me completely by surprise was how radically different this Asuka is from the original. So different that they can't even be considered the same character. To show it very clearly, we are going to review the personality of both:
Asuka from the original anime: An energetic and outgoing half-German, half-Japanese girl (actually it's 1/4, but who cares) who loves to be the center of attention and have everyone praise her due to the lack of parental love received during her childhood having been abandoned by her father and supplanted by her mother, who suffered from severe mental disorders. She is extremely proud and competitive because she feels that being Eva's pilot is the only thing that gives her an identity and purpose, which makes her tend to become quickly frustrated when things don't go her way and become defensive when she feels like she is being outmaneuvered. . He loves to make fun of others (especially Shinji), to the point of being cruel at times, but he does not do it out of malice, but rather to compensate for his enormous inferiority complex due to the rejection suffered by his mother and having witnessed her. committed suicide (and possibly even tried to kill her) the day she was chosen as Eva's pilot and came running to wish her a Happy Thursday. She admires Kaji and wants to fuck him because she hates her own adolescence, she needs to feel adult and independent due to suffering from a certain Electra complex for having lacked a true father figure during her childhood. She has a sweet and vulnerable nature, but she rarely expresses it to anyone except her best friend Hikari and I better stop this now because too much text.
Rebuild Asuka (hereinafter "Asuka"): A girl soldier created by Nerv as part of a series of clones who has always been alone and thinks she doesn't need anyone, although she secretly wishes to have a family. She hits and insults others for no reason, she yells a lot, never smiles or makes jokes, and hates socializing with others, which doesn't stop her from looking for Shinji's dick within 2 days of meeting him. She always plays video games while someone is talking to her and at night she talks to herself with a doll like an autistic person.
As we can see, these two characters not only look nothing alike: several of their traits directly contradict each other. Because they look alike, they are not even alike in aesthetics: the original Asuka had red hair and dressed in the traditional feminine way, while "Asuka" is light brown and dresses in a tomboy style (which I'm not saying is wrong, I'm just commenting to show the radical difference). It's not that they have changed Asuka: it's that they have directly murdered her to supplant her by someone with whom she only shares her first name (not even her last name). And needless to say, the change has been VERY for the worse.
To describe the first character, I had to spend 15 damn lines, and even then I had to leave out many important facets of his personality, his development in the original series and his entire character arc in EoE, because if I didn't have one endless bible For the second, 6 lines were enough for me, and I could have had more left over if I had been more concise. The first character is a complex and three-dimensional character, with multiple facets, edges and layers. She feels like a real person. The second character is a generic tsundere that you can find in any mecha anime of the week. She is not even comparable to the first; She's not even a good character.
We cannot speak of Flanderization because not even the most basic traits of the character have been respected. Nor can we speak of a deconstruction because that same absence of basic traits means that there is no character construction on which to stand in the first place. Obviously, this change greatly resents the interactions between characters: the original Asuka was a charismatic and fun character with the ability to drive the plot on her own (as soon as she appears in chapter 8 of the original anime she is already changing the entire dynamic between characters) , while "Asuka" is mostly only in the background or to fight; He doesn't even have a character arc as such. In fact, in 2.22 he has even less screen time than several supporting characters.
His chemistry with Shinji is also non-existent (and I'm not just referring to the romantic level) and they barely have any development together. They like each other here because... ehhhh... she likes how he cooks and he thinks she's hot? It's not that the AsuShinji (or ShinSuka, or whatever the hell it's called) here is forced: it's just that it doesn't even make sense. The only reason people still ship them together is because they did it in the 90s. Yūko Miyamura's performance also feels very lackadaisical and lacks passion, which is quite unlike her. Although perhaps this is intentional, since her character always talks as if she has the spear of Longinus permanently stuck up her rectum. In fact, the few times she says her iconic "Anta baka?" This one feels very forced, in addition to not having her characteristic high-pitched tone.
In short, the character has suffered the same fetishization as Rei (gamer girl, tomboy, one-eyed, etc.), but also with the aggravating factor that not even her basic characteristics have been respected here. This is especially disconcerting when we take into account that the rest of the characters have their original personalities more or less intact (albeit simplified). Even more disconcerting if we take into account that Asuka is possibly the most popular character in all of Evangelion, and even more so if we consider that she is Anno's favorite character (in fact, the initial idea was for Asuka to be the protagonist).
https://evaresources.wordpress.com/der-mond/
Given this, the inevitable question arises: "Why?" What was the point of turning Asuka into an inferior and tsundere copy of Rei, even more so when there are already three clones? It has always been rumored that Asuka is not popular in Japan, but that is completely false. The only semi-rational explanation I can think of is that they did it to please the haters. It's no secret that a portion within the Evangelion fandom (and outside of it) hates Asuka with a passion. They see her as someone toxic and cruel who dedicates herself to screwing others for no reason, without understanding that you don't have to like a well-written character.
https://imgur.com/a/KznXE1x
What these people fail to understand is that Asuka's verbal abuse is a defense mechanism to avoid opening up to others, since Asuka constantly says things that do not fit with what she really feels or thinks (clear proof is chapter 16 from the original series). It's not like it matters much, considering they were never more than an extremely vocal minority. That the character is so popular is proof of this. The great irony of all this is that the new "Asuka" is a much more unpleasant and detestable character than the original, since she lacks the redeemable qualities of the original and her moments of comic relief.
And if until now I have been more or less benevolent with this remake, this is something I cannot forgive: because changing a character just because a group of people doesn't like it is one of the most cowardly and pathetic acts in the world. that a writer can fall. The fact that this was also at the expense of one of the best female characters in the history of anime and with a wonderful story arc makes it even more bloody. Any other halfway competent writer would have responded with this.
https://youtu.be/5Js0ea6yPKM
...although if we go by Ockham's razor, the most likely explanation is simply that Hideaki Anno is mentally retarded.
A CHARACTER TO DESTROY A FRANCHISE AND BIND IT TO DARKNESS:
Mari Makinami Illustrious A.K.A María Iskariote (what an appropriate last name) is one of the worst creations ever made by humans. Not since the atomic bombs has humanity created something so horrible. Worse than the holocaust. Worse than fascism. Worse than Facebook memes. Worse than stepping on a lego. I would even dare to say that it is worse than pizza with pineapple. No character better reflects Anno's mental decline or better embodies all the problems of the current anime industry than this trash.
This character contributes absolutely nothing to the plot, he does not contribute at any time to its advancement, he lacks his own development or story, he does absolutely nothing relevant in the 3 films in which he appears, and he does not even have a defined personality. So much so, that all of her scenes could be eliminated or replaced by any other character and she would barely affect the plot, or not affect it at all.
The character is so frighteningly one-dimensional that she doesn't even show different emotions or moods during the three films in which she appears, always being perpetually happy and carefree even in tense situations for literally no reason. This leads to moments as surreal as her starting to sing and hum in scenes that are intended to be serious or dramatic (or so I think; perhaps what they wanted was to turn this into an unintentional comedy), again generating a gigantic narrative dissonance. The last third of 3.33 is the best example of this.
But that's not the worst: this character is clearly made for otaku coomers to masturbate to. She has almost every fetish possible: glasses/lenses (whatever they call it in your country), pigtails, miniskirt, schoolgirl, saying "nya", big tits, obsession with smell and tight outfits, etc. To make matters worse in 3.0 + 1.01 we discover that she is 48 years old, so we can also add the milf fetish. Evidently, her tits always bounce in her plugsuit (she would swear that never happened in the original series) and there are many close-ups of her ass. In addition to constantly making sexual advances towards Shinji, which also turns this piece of shit into a potential pedophile.
If the thing simply ended there, we could say that this character remains a mere annoying and unnecessary secondary character. Unfortunately, the character is also disruptive to the plot, occupying long filler scenes that do nothing more than waste time that is already scarce in a film, and that could have been used on something else more interesting; like Pen Pen watching TV, Pen Pen eating a sardine, etc. Without going any further, both 2.22, 3.33 and 3.0+1.01 begin with a long filler scene of her hitting on her. Well, to be honest, the 3.33 one is more Asuka, but this abortion is still out there fucking and singing.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that discussing why this character exists is much more interesting than any other debate that can be created about these films. I still think about it. However, the ending of 3.0+1.01 gives a good clue: the character was created solely and exclusively to stay with Shinji. I can only imagine that Anno made this tired of the fandom shipping and the arguments over who Shinji should stay with, so he decided to end the matter by creating his own ideal waifu with all the fetishes he likes in a woman to end it. with this. It's disgusting, but considering we're talking about a Japanese, totally possible.
It's surreal coming from the man who harshly criticized the use of anime as escapism and the excessive female objectification and sexualization in it, but it's the only semi-decent explanation I can think of. Basically, he is what is called a mascot character in literature. That would explain why this character never shows doubts, nor any kind of internal conflict, or why he is a better Eva pilot than Asuka and Rei themselves. It is also very revealing about the quality of the Rebuilds: creating a self-insert OC just to be the partner of the protagonist or another main character is the quintessential trait of all bad fanfiction.
However, among all this tsunami of disqualifications, I also have to say something positive: spending three movies giving hope to the shippers only to have Shinji be cuckolded simultaneously by Rei and Asuka in the last one and end up with a character with which had zero development (before 3.0+1.01 I didn't even know its name) is a true trolling masterclass, worthy of the best of ball pumpers. Only a true emperor of evil would have come up with such a twisted and at the same time perfect way to screw over a large part of the fandom. I give you my tens, Anno.
THE ANTI-UNIVERSE OF ANTI-NARRATIVE:
Of all the new concepts that Anno brings up at the last minute from the place named after his last name, none stands out more than the "anti-universe." Or, as I like to call it, the "anti-good writing." Basically because it perfectly represents all the problems of the rebuilds and their script. In the final stretch of 3.0+1.01 we have the last-minute revelation of a quantum plane of existence capable of turning imagined worlds into reality and changing this through Lilith, which cannot be understood by the human mind (wow, WHAT CONVENIENT!) and whose existence has never been mentioned or even hinted at in the entire franchise until CONCIDENTLY the aforementioned last third of the film.
In other words, a gigantic Deus Ex Machina created in an improvised way to avoid repeating End of Evangelion and forcing a happy ending where Shinji creates an ideal universe for each character (although that is questionable, as we will see later). And it is far from being the only one: the spear of Cassius, the Eva of Infinity, the key of Nebuchadnezzar, the Book of Life, and so on. None of these concepts are integrated into the plot in an organic and natural way, but rather they arise spontaneously at its convenience when it needs it. Except for the new "Super Berserker Mode" of the Evas, which is simply a power-up to sell figurines.
As I said before, if at least this were an alternate universe separate from the original anime, all this bombardment of concepts pulled out of the ass would be a little better justified. But the revelation that everything is a cycle and we are in the same universe as the original work only makes it even worse, generating countless inconsistencies about why they never mentioned this or never used that (what's the point of the seeds of life If you can create universes simply by imagining them?). Although without a doubt, the worst of all these new concepts is "the curse of Eve."
Here we have a new concept with very strong repercussions completely launched, which is not even an explanation in itself, it does not answer anything and to make matters worse, the same films contradict each other several times. Needless to say, this is a cheap excuse for the three main characters not to grow up and continue sexualizing 14-year-old girls after the most gratuitous timeskip ever seen. And speaking of timeskip, putting such a long one in the middle of the story is a first-time writing error. If you are writers, never do that: the bigger the time jump, the more things you will be forced to explain, since the less you do it, the more plot holes will form as a result.
And of course, here it explains little to nothing of what happened these 14 years. Like where Nerv got such a tremendous base from, if in 3.33 it seemed that together with Rei and Kaworu it was made up of four people. Or how they have gotten such an army of pseudo-Evas, especially when these are supposed to be extremely expensive (wow, and SEELE with all her unlimited resources was barely 9 in EoE). Or worse yet, how Kaji managed to stop Almost Third Impact (seriously, the name couldn't be stupider). None of these questions are answered at any time. Obviously because they can't do it.
Evangelion has always been characterized by leaving things up to the public's interpretation, but here I feel that they are vilely taking advantage of it so as not to have to give any kind of explanations. And in the case at hand, do not even pay attention to contradictions. Like Touji and Kensuke got on Unit 01 and that doesn't stop them from being 28 after the timeskip. Or that Mari appears to be 14 despite looking like an adult in Gendo's photos and flashbacks, plus the fact that Evas, by simple logic, could not exist back then.
The height of absurdity is when near the end of 3.0+1.01 the "unexpected" revelation occurs (actually we all saw it coming) that everything is a cycle and we are facing a reboot of the original timeline, of which only Kaworu seems to be conscious. He let them guess without giving them any clues how many times Kaworu mentioned or even hinted at such a thing in the original series. Needless to say, nothing is ever explained about it: Who created that cycle? (Adam? Lilith? The First Ancestral Race? Hideaki Anno's last name?) For what purpose? How does it work? How long does it last? Why is Kaworu the only one who remembers him? Do these remakes make sense?
THE DEATH OF A STYLE:
Fortress-cities folding in on themselves. Designs and constructions oscillating between the nineties, the utopian and the cyberpunk. Meshes of flesh and blood animated with the souls of the dead fighting with classical music in the background. A mysterious and ambiguous lore where aliens, technology and conspiracies mix with gnostic, cabalistic elements and the most esoteric aspects of Christianity (did the History Channel predict Evangelion?). Minimalist posters moving quickly between frames. Monochrome backgrounds flashing aggressively (bad luck if you were epileptic). So consistent with its themes that the A.T. fields themselves. They were an allegory of the hedgehog's dilemma (I'm not making this up, Kaworu himself says it in chapter 23).
https://imgur.com/a/2M0eDVK
The sum of all these factors is what allowed Evangelion to build an absolutely unique identity, the one that allowed people to say "hey, that's an Eva!". Starting in 3.33, all that is lost to disappear in 3.0+1.01 in favor of giant spaceships, mechanical mechas made of pure CGI, battles full of colored lights, multiverses and time loops. I'm not saying these elements are bad in and of themselves, but I've already seen a thousand mecha stories with these. For that, I start watching any of the versions of Gundam or Macross. I could also complain about the boring shots without audiovisual language and always using the same color palette, but to be fair, that is an endemic evil of current anime.
And like any bad remake, 3.0+1.01 can't help but pay homage to several scenes from the original work, completely failing to understand the point of said scenes. As an example, we have Ritsuko shooting Gendo for no reason other than to pay homage to End of Evangelion, ignoring that the context between both scenes is very different. Furthermore, here they never explain the relationship that exists between the two, so the scene makes no sense; especially for those who never saw the original series, who will also find mentions of facts that these films have never shown or bothered to explain.
Even worse is when they try to pay homage to the iconic battle between Asuka and the Eva Series. Not only because of the total absence of the graphic violence and choreography of the original, but because what makes that fight so remembered is its emotional component, since it is preceded by a narrative catharsis in which Asuka discovers that the Her mother's soul was always in Unit 02, in addition to being marked by the constant tension of knowing if she will be able to finish the fight before the Eva's energy supply runs out. Here the Evas never run out of energy (why do they need the power supply, then?), so there is no such tension.
In the original fight Asuka may not be shooting 1387945 Evas with a super cannon larger than her as she falls through an... interdimensional hole?; But there you feel every blow, you can appreciate every movement in detail, and the dramatic tension in crescendo only improves the result. If this were a shonen, the logical thing is that Asuka would win. After all, her character arc has been wrapped up in a climactic way. Unfortunately, this is Evangelion. When the Evas Series manage to cause a mortal wound with the pseudo-spear of Longinus and the energy counter reads zero, the outcome is already decided. What happens next is horrific (Asuka's enemies are cruel to her even after she is dead), and just as horrifying are Yūko Miyamura's screams and Miki Nagasawa's performance as Maya announcing that Asuka is dead. In the Rebuilds there are no performances anywhere near that level.
End of Evangelion will be as dark and uncomfortable to watch as you want, but it is a film where all those responsible put their souls into achieving the best possible result, both on a technical and artistic level.
and well, I think that for today I have already downloaded too much, an apology for the large amount of text, I will make a second part at another time because I have so many things to comment on... anyway, I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night or when you read this .

About six months ago, in November, I started my journey through the "Chronicles of Chrestomanci," which of course are not really a series as much as a collection of books which all take place in the same set of universes. I read everything in order of publication, posting my thoughts here each time, and with the completion of this book I am now all the way through these wonderful novels. Please forgive my lack of direct quotes this time--having read nothing else for fun besides these books for six months, I found my note-taking capacity to be somewhat diminished. Maybe in the future I'll write a more detailed review.
The Pinhoe Egg is the final Chrestomanci book, whether you're reading them in order of publication or chronologically. I have no doubt Diana Wynne Jones did not intend this to be a "series" with a beginning and end; rather, I assume she simply got several book ideas that took place in this world, and this happened to be the last time before she died. It is sheer luck, then, that this last book is a sort of grand culmination of them both thematically and narratively, and possibly the best of the lot.
We start, typically, with a new protagonist, Marianne Pinhoe, and a new locale, the small rural village of Ulverscote, located a stone's throw from Chrestomanci Castle and Helm St. Mary. I liked that we got a little more background about this area throughout the book. When I go back to reread Charmed Life, I'm looking forward to putting it all into this new context.
Marianne became a favorite character almost instantly, and I was hooked on her storyline right from the beginning. Jones has a typically virtuosic opening sequence, wasting no time in establishing the key characters and launching into a dreadfully funny episode telling of Marianne's grandmother (who is also a kind of matriarch or "Gammer" over all the Pinhoes) apparently abruptly developing dementia and being forcibly removed from her home. There is black comedy galore here, all painfully adjacent to the real experience of making arrangements for a feeble or senile parent, as when Gammer is so averse to leaving her home that she roots herself in the bed, complete with actual roots. Meanwhile, Gammer's brothers and many children squabble over who gets to live in her house and where her belongings will go.
I mentioned before how Jones is always surprising me with the variety of formal structures and writing styles she employs. I thought I had figured out her game here, and was sure it was going to be similar to Conrad's Fate, where a new protagonist gradually makes their way into meeting familiar characters. But of course, Jones neatly sidesteps all reader expectation and switches tracks suddenly a few chapters in, focusing on Cat Chant as a second, equal protagonist, and revealing this book to be, among other things, the true sequel to Charmed Life--published 29 real-life years later. Jones then begins alternating between Cat and Marianne unevenly, and sometimes even from sentence to sentence, as in Witch Week. Her sleight of hand is sly and clever, and the craftsmanship is remarkable. Hats off--each of the seven books in this series reads totally differently. Jack of all trades, master of all, our Diana.
Jones stacks on the themes this time. We of course get some of her usual preoccupations, particularly with that of unreliable families. The Pinhoes may be the worst of the lot, or at least the most upsetting, because while in most of the other books the dysfunction is obvious, things are more insidious here. The reader is actually led (through Marianne's obedient, rule-following perspective) to see Harry, Cecily, Gammer, and most of the uncles and aunts as well-meaning individuals who care for one another. However, as in Charmed Life (and Cat himself draws the comparison), as the book goes on and Marianne becomes more independent, it becomes increasingly difficult for her, and for us, to justify their cruel behavior. It is genuinely devastating when Marianne figures out what's going on halfway through the book, decides to approach the adults in her life about it, and is laughed off or outright punished by all of them. There is a familiar scene at the end of the book: Marianne's and Joe's talents are vindicated by Chrestomanci and they are given the opportunity to nurture their skills in an education apart from parents who hold them back by refusing to understand or accept them. Replace the current Chrestomanci with the previous acting Chrestomanci, Gabriel de Witt, and you have the same scene as the end of Conrad's Fate. The detail that Marianne and Joe still go home and see their parents regularly is brutally realistic, Marianne able to convince her mother to soften on some issues, but ultimately failing to truly connect with her father. This seems to me the ultimate conclusion of the obsession with family dynamics in the Chronicles of Chrestomanci--that your family will always be there, like them or not, whether or not a true understanding can ever be reached. I'm not ashamed to say I cried through the last couple chapters of the book, and found the first line Jones has written that made me audibly sob. This was a feeling from childhood I didn't even know I had forgotten:

[Marianne] was depressed and worried. Dad was never going to understand and never going to forgive her. And Gaffer had still not turned up. On top of that, school started on Monday week. Though look on the bright side, she thought. It'll keep me away from my family, during the daytime at least.

As in Conrad's Fate, the potential toxicity of religion crops up here, in a bigger way than ever. The last act of the book is barely disguised by its magical trappings: what we have here is a group of devout, religious conservatives, being shown the harmful effects of their actions, and blindly rejecting all of the proof and logic in front of them in favor of enforcing rules and laws that keep them comfortable. There is no doubt that the next generation of Pinhoes will be just as subject to the old traditions, in spite of Marianne and Joe breaking free. That the Reverend Pinhoe is portrayed as a hapless and kind man, ignorant to most of the wrongdoing in the village, does little to soften the point of Jones's pencil here. As I said, I was startled by how moved and devastated I was by this final section, recognizing all of the real-world pain in this fantastical setting.
Jones has always been steadfastly protective of those who cannot speak up for themselves, as with the character of Cat who finds it difficult to recognize and verbalize his feelings. This time, borrowing from a kind of Shinto animism, Jones includes the concept of Dwimmer, a magic that is focused on the life force within all creatures and plants. There is no debate where Jones stands on this--her deepest and most profound sympathies lie with Cat, who can't bear to imagine his horse Syracuse chopped into dog meat, who frets over Klartch's wellbeing when out of his sight, and who firmly refuses to apologize for releasing all the goblinlike fairy folk from their bindings. There is no direct intimation of endangered species, global warming, or human-caused environmental destruction in this book, as you might expect in this kind of setup (I suspect Jones was too clever to resort to trite metaphors). However, in a fascinating twist, a plot detail revolves around the Pinhoes and Farleighs erecting a barrier in the forest to contain the magical creatures, making the forest feel empty and incomplete in the process--a magical, but also literal, instance of deforestation. Motives of plants, herbs, and trees, both good and evil, carry through the book as well. Jason and Gaffer Elijah Pinhoe, as well as Cecily, are handy with plants and tend large gardens. The Farleighs' and Pinhoes' spells tend to take the form of small bags of weeds and branches as well. Interestingly, and insightfully, the natural world is portrayed as difficult as well: Gammer grows roots to impede her family's mission, and the vile Gaffer Farleigh morphs into a stubborn, gnarled, immovable petrified oak when Cat works a spell forcing him to assume his true form.
This was one of the most enjoyable books in the Chrestomanci series, and it was bittersweet to close the door on the Pinhoes. I like that the continuity between these books is vague and tenuous, so I'm free to imagine all sort of side goings-on, like what might happen to Marianne and Cat later in life, or whether Conrad and Christopher remained friends, or what Roger and Julia thought when their dad told them all about the events at the academy in Witch Week. Howl's Moving Castle is still the book closest to my heart, and will forever be the Diana Wynne Jones I read over and over, recommending to anyone unfortunate enough to strike up a conversation about books with me, but I am so glad that I found the time to welcome Chrestomanci and all his strange acquaintances into my heart, too.
Here's my personal ranking of the Chronicles of Chrestomanci, but please note I love all of these books and a low ranking does not mean I don't like the book. I have to put that there because there's always someone who doesn't understand that last place doesn't mean bad or worst. I'm not including the short stories individually because it's impossible for me to weigh a short story against a novel, whereas a large collection seems to make sense to me. I also must admit that the top three, especially the top two, were really difficult to place and I more or less love them equally.

1. Conrad's Fate
2. The Pinhoe Egg
3. Charmed Life
4. Mixed Magics
5. The Magicians of Caprona
6. Witch Week
7. The Lives of Christopher Chant

My next Jones book will be -- drumroll, please -- Archer's Goon, though I'm taking a break for some adult reading during the summer. While I'm in a school semester I can pretty much only manage to read children's fantasy, so I'll see you all come August or September. :) Thanks to those of you who have been reading and following my journey from start to finish. I would love to chat more about this book and this series.
Oh, and finally... ALL SPOILERS ALLOWED!

So Alice did a mini Q&A on Tumblr today after Netflix dropped the teaser for S3. Tumblr is awful to try and navigate finding the Qs that go with the As, so I've just collected and posted them here. Spoilers ahead for S3, and Vol 4+5 of the comics!
how come you changed it from tank top to vest? lots of americans confused by vest 😅
because I thought about someone actually saying the phrase ‘tank top’ with a British accent and it sounded so weird and awkward in my mind, ‘vest’ was the more realistic word (at least for people from my region of England lol). Sometimes things that are written in the comic would actually sound quite awkward and odd if the cast said them out loud, so I change them!
Was that the full first scene or was it cut for the teaser?
it was cut for the teaser! The full scene is longer (and the billie song was just for the trailer!)
i’m in shock that billie let them debut a new song in it
ME TOO
are there any new photos added on charlie’s wall of him and nick together?
haha there are new photos in both rooms yes!
I’m so in love with the little trailer! My Question is: How did you feel, knowing you are dropping the trailer without anyone expecting something? 😄😍
i wished i could have teased it harder but because it was a collab (of sorts) with billie eilish’s team I didn’t want to do anything that might ruin it or not be what they wanted! 😅
I’m wondering if we’ll get a proper look at the new pictures in Charlie’s room at some point 🙇🏻‍♀️
of COURSE we shall
Not sure if you can answer this, and I could have a guess anyway, but is that trailer the complete moment or is the scene longer than that with more conversations that have been cut to make the trailer?
the scene is longer in the show, it had to be cut very short for the trailer!
was having tori's hair short from the get-go just for the sake of continuity or was there a.... deeper choice there..... i luv all the solitaire references in volume 4 sm so i'll take what i can get in the show hehe
so the thing about in-story haircuts in TV - they are a production nightmare. The show is filmed completely non-chronologically, so if Tori had long hair at the start, that would be a huge amount of extra work for the haimakeup department. It takes at least an hour to get an actor in or out of a wig. It just makes things very difficult and we always have an extremely hectic and tight schedule so we decided it’d be easier for her to just have short hair from the start!
I’m honestly so excited about s3. When you said that the ferris wheel scene was modified does that mean that the talk that Tori has with Charlie about her being asexual will that not be in s3?
yes that’s correct, I’m saving that story for S4 where I can build up to it much more effectively 🙏 you’ll see when you watch s3 that there just wasn’t the room to give that storyline the space it needs!
it was so amazing alice 😭 we cannot wait for more, we are all so beyond excited !!
one question : is there more to the opening scene, like will it have more dialogue between Tori & Charlie similar to the comics ? i assumed the opening scene was just cut that way to fit the 45 seconds teaser format and Billie Eilish's new song clip (HUGE congrats on tha btw oh my god ?? we were all so surprised and elated)
yayyyy I’m glad you enjoyed!! Yes that’s correct, the full scene is longer!
Have you considered filming season 2 and 3 one after another??
I could not have written the scripts in time, I barely managed to write the S2 scripts in time 😅
Of course we were all very excited!! Did this season feel different to make with the subject matter a bit darker and more mature? Can’t wait to see it!!!
yes definitely! Lots of new experiences and vibes on set. But I guess it’s an intense experience no matter what!
I know you already answered about the swearing but there's a debate on twitter rn so: will they say 'fuck', specifically?
yes 😂
ALICE IT WAS MAGICAL!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR PROMO TO START!!!
YAY same!!!!!
Not specifically about the trailer, but when you started writing season three did you already know by that point Olivia would not be available or did you have to do re-writes to take Sarah out of the story?
I knew it was a possibility but it wasn’t confirmed until very close to the shoot. I had to do some quite intense last minute rewrites 😅 but I’d already thought about what I’d do in that scenario so I was somewhat prepared!
The trailer was so lovely, it made my whole week! I love the brother-sister moments with Tori and Charlie; Joe and Jenny are so great together on screen. Will we get to see Tori and Nick interact more in this season?
a little yes! 💖
will there be a s3 music playlist on spotify?? or will the s3 music get added to the current playlist?? that would be amazing!!!💕🍂
I’m sure someone will make an s3 playlist!! Netflix control the Heartstopper Spotify playlists so it’ll be up to them!
do you feel like this season uses social media (inside the narrative) more or less than season 2? i love how important it was to the story for s2 and the way it was shown on screen - was there more or less present in s3?
difficult to say… there’s a fair bit of it for sure but maybe not as much as S2? Not sure tho!
why did you decide to change the line from tank top in the comics to vest ? did it just make more sense regionally that he would say vest ? (genuinely curious!)
indeed, ‘tank top’ just didn’t sound like something a British teen boy would say! Sometimes the things I write in the comic sound awkward when they’re spoken out loud by a real person 😂
Joe and Kit’s ability to make heart eyes is truly unparalleled. They deserve all the awards.
Could not be more excited for season 3!!!
One question that I’m sure you’ve answered but I’m not sure where - do you do the animations for the show? The “I love you” in the promo looked like a new style and I liked it a lot! Just curious. Thanks for everything 🥰
the animations are done by an animator named Anna Peronetto! She is brilliant!!
can you tell us anything about the artists that will be part of this season's soundtrack?
I’d say there are some heartstopper classics but also a bunch of new artists! Sorry to be vague, I don’t want to spoil 🥺
This is random and about season 1, but can you settle a debate about what exactly the snow was made of in the snow day scene? 🙃❄️
pretty sure it was a mix of foam and powder depending on what it was used for 🤔
Will the rating be higher? It is 12 usually but with season 3 being described with mature themes will it become a 15? Can't bwlieve we are in the season 3 era already!
I believe it depends on country and it’s not up to me, but the rating is likely to increase yes, mostly due to slightly more swearing, sex scenes, and mental health themes. I think it really edges the border between a 12 and a 15 in the UK so I’m really not sure how it’ll be rated!
Also, do you have a favorite episode yet? 👀
I love every episode of s3 truly, but I think ep 4 is something special and maybe the best heartstopper ep I’ve written across all three seasons!! Very proud of it 💖
seriously cannot describe how excited I am for s3 - when filming and editing scenes with michael and tori is it really strange to see them on screen when they were really the first two main characters you wrote about?? what was that like seeing them actually come to life? (also i am the self proclaimed most excited for michael to appear, cannot wait to see how darragh portrays him as he seems amazing!!)
so so strange!!! But wonderful! They’re my firstborns and it’s strange to see them here while also not really seeing the full story that we know they have. Darragh and Jenny are amazing and I can’t wait for you to see them together on screen 🥹 the first moment you see them together is SO special, it almost makes me cry every time
I know Jonathan bailey has said he reached out through a mutual friend about joining heartstopper. If you are able to answer, what came first; Jonathan bailey or jack/Henry Maddox? (Aka, was that character and scene always going to be included in the series? - i love that mini comic so much!)
Henry Maddox has been around for a couple of years now!! When Jonathan told us he wanted to be involved, me and Wren (who created Henry Maddox!) thought this would be the perfect role for him and a great opportunity for a more comedic sequence in the show (while also tying him into some of the themes of that specific ep… but now I’m getting too spoilery) ! (And obvs we had to change the name due to Henry the pug)
I'm curious about the scenes with Geoff. In the comics they're mostly mentioned instead of shown in detail. Will we get to see bits of Charlie's therapy sessions, or will they be shown in a sort of montage?
we will see some!
with the teaser clip saying coming October 3th does that mean the season won’t be spilt in two parts? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
as far as I know, it won’t!
what was the confusing situation with ur insta stories from a few days ago 😭
So I thought the image was a deliberate tease from Netflix - turns out it was actually a mistake so I deleted my stories. Then they emailed to say I could leave up my stories if I wanted to, but I’d already deleted them 😅
Hey Alice, not a question but just wanted to apologise again for what I said about the spoilers the other week. I didn't think about the costumes and sets. I have felt bad about being so silly ever since! I was just hoping to try and help you feel a even a tiny bit better 💜 super super excited for S3! Heartstopper is one of my special interests and brings me a huge deal of comfort on tough days 🥰 it's a beautiful world you have created 🥹
omg please don’t feel bad, I wasn’t at all annoyed or mad at you!! You have nothing to worry about and you definitely did all make me feel a bit better after that happened 💖 Thank you for loving and supporting Heartstopper, it really means so much!! 💖💖💖