MASSACHUSETTS NUMEROLOGY DECODE

Interestingly enough, we don't hear much about this state. It's almost easy to overlook or straight up forget unless you are looking at a map. We are going to decode this state using Numerology and point out the reasons/indications that point towards it being such a silent city or at least not popular and frequented like other places. This will get very informative so enjoy the read.
We will now begin decoding each letter in detail.
M - This is The 13th letter of the alphabet Making this letter vibrate at the energy of 4. The energy of four represents privacy and caution. When it comes to 13 and the energy of 4, you have a person or an energy where it's more focused on self rather than connecting with others. So, like I mentioned, 4 is about privacy, caution, and withholding. 4 is pretty restrictive so when a person or place has this name, that you know these are very cautious people or you know that these are not people that take action without thinking. 4 is a very organized type of energy. As a state, this can translate to being a very restrictive state or a state that has particular rules in place. People who live in this state can even have some of these traits. This isn't the type of place to move to unless you want some type of restriction or a relaxed type of energy in your life. M is the strongest energy of this state since it is the first letter of the state's name. So, that alone can start speaking to why this isn't a state that is talked about as much as, let's say, New York or Florida.
A - This is the letter that represents number one as it is the first letter of the alphabet which lets you know that this is about initiation or fresh starts. When it comes to people, this speaks to having that focus on self or being self-motivated.
S - As the 19th letter of the alphabet, this letter vibrates at the energy of one, but it is from a place of being in power or being extremely independent. As a state, that's why the state can seem alone or like a stand alone and not really talked about because we already have a lot of indications that talk about being too self absorbed or too withheld.
S - As the 19th letter of the alphabet, this letter vibrates at the energy of one, but it is from a place of being in power or being extremely independent. As a state, that's why the state can seem alone or like a stand alone and not really talked about because we already have a lot of indications that talk about being too self absorbed or too withheld.
A - This is the letter that represents number one as it is the first letter of the alphabet which lets you know that this is about initiation or fresh starts. When it comes to people, this speaks to having that focus on self or being self-motivated. This is the second time we got this letter and energy.
C - 3rd letter of the alphabet which can represent communication and creativity
H - 8th letter of the alphabet which talks about structure, pressure, seriousness, and mastery.
U - 21st letter of the alphabet which vibrates at the energy of 3. This shows compassion, especially when an individual has this in their name. This also can add more creative juices to a person or the state.
S - As mentioned above, this is the 19th letter of the alphabet and vibrates at the energy of 1.
E - 5th letter of the alphabet which points to combat, creativity, romance, joy, change, and events.
T - 20th letter of the alphabet which vibrates at the energy of 2 which can point to cooperation, stability, comfort, and proactivity. This is a money number just like the number 8, but 2 represents more frequency.
T - 20th letter of the alphabet which vibrates at the energy of 2 which can point to cooperation, stability, comfort, and proactivity. This is a money number just like the number 8, but 2 represents more frequency.
S - As mentioned above, this is the 19th letter of the alphabet and vibrates at the energy of 1.
As you can see, Massachusetts has 6 letters that vibrate at the energy of 1 which equals 6. 6 is about comfort, family, beauty, and discipline. We can see that this may be a state that values discipline which goes well with the fact that it starts with M which is similar to discipline because 4 energy is responsible and even family oriented. We can assume that this state operates from a place of balance and fairness. They may not tolerate what a lot of other states tolerate. Jobs could possibly be a little easier to get here just based on how a lot of the numeric values barely get to the number 9. 1 is the main number that stands out within this state which can point to them doing their own thing and not wanting to identify with how other states do things.
Very individualistic type of energy. People that live in this state could either be workaholics, dogmatic, serious, responsible, controlling, family oriented, shy, or even mean. Routine could be a big thing here. Some or a lot of the residents could even be big on being business owners. This could even be a state where couponing is or can be a big deal. This state may not have too many outside visitors like Florida or Nevada does and the residents could have been there for a long time.
This is a good place to live if you plan on settling down with your own family or partner, if you want a simple and quiet life, if it's just you and only you, if you want to downsize, etc. You get the point. The energy of Massachusetts is very much on the personal and private side.
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Hi - looking for day camp options for a Kindergartener for June 13th and 14th. We’re in a weird situation where Wake County School ends June 12th (Wednesday) and the summer camps we’ve found (YMCA, Town of Cary, etc.) will start the following Monday June 17th. It’s a miscalculation on my part as I misread the calendar in January when I signed up for summer camps. Now just realizing this and am not finding any options for these two single days. And taking vacation isn’t an option as we already have planned uses for our vacation days. Any recommendations?

I have a 5 year old, he’s in kindergarten and we’re learning the ropes. My son is super sweet, but can be a little much. He has ADHD and sometimes that boundary can blur when he is trying to make friends on what is and is not intimidating and this year has been SOOO great for him. He has been meeting new kids and has become friends with so many, specifically this one boy who I’ll call “L”. They have played together in so many scenario’s in school, out of school, do gymnastics together; someone I would say is my sons friend. I had become friendly with L’s mom (I’ll call her E) on a level where she came over, I went over, we texted a decent amount, etc. nothing about our interactions ever indicated our kids and us weren’t friendly. We had been friendly for…I want to say 6 months at this point? Frankly I think she’s kind of weird the more I ponder on it…just kinda judgey and I get the vibe she is a little more awkward than I want my friends to be. One of those doesn’t know how to function at a restaurant deals. It’s for the best this happened but it made me mad so here I am lol
We started planning out things for the summer which included us going on family trips camping and to do other fun stuff. When E was planning her son’s birthday she involved me pretty heavily in the location (I found it online for her) and the date (she specifically asked when we were free) but I didn’t really note anything down on my end, anticipating an invite. I ran into her husband a few weeks later and he mentioned his son’s birthday party for that weekend and I immediately felt guilty thinking I had completely spaced on RSVPing. I checked my texts (I delete unknown numbers regularly) my emails, calendars etc and saw nothing so I texted E to apologize for my own rudeness in not responding and it must have completely slipped the cracks or come in while I was sick. ALSO I noted that even if we weren’t invited that’s fine I really just don’t want to not be responding appropriately and after talking about it the details were floating in my mind. She tells me the party capped out at 20 kids and his classroom friends and others filled it up, IM FINE WITH THIS! I get it! I was in the middle of texting that back to her!
Tell me why she then makes a comment about how our kids aren’t really friends anyways so…wish they were though!!
The kicker? Then I got the pity invite. Which we couldn’t attend but…why would I at that point???? I politely responded we were busy, and didn’t rly even thank her just ended it.
Since then she has made other offhand comments about my son and I don’t like it. She doesn’t address him by name (calls him “your little dude” and I know she knows him name). She asked how his ADHD diagnosis etc is and I was saying good just behaviors are always tough and she goes “well what do you expect with your little dude?? KIDDING HAHA!” So now it feels like this broad has beef with my 5 year old. I kind of want to know why, but deep down IDGAF.
Honestly even being around her annoys me. And she smells weird.
Just needed the validation that my anger towards her is warranted 🥲 and also to remind myself that there’s way better mom friends out there.

Super excited to see that this sub has a refreshed moderator team, and that there is some openness for the occasional small business post. I just wanted to formally introduce our business, Outpost Gaming. I have seen some discussion about our store and even mention of this sub as the way people found out about us so I figured why not come on and say hey!
Outpost opened in late 2022 by two "friends since kindergarten" who are North Bay born and raised. Located at 2690 Trout Lake Road (next door to the Hyundai dealership), you can find everything from board games, card games, roleplaying games like dungeons and dragons, miniatures games, hobby supplies and everything in between. Not only that, but we pride ourselves in having one of, if not the biggest dedicated play space where you can play any game you want. Boasting six 4' by 6' tables in a room renovated to look like a medieval tavern, it is truly one of a kind in the city. We always have special events going on to serve all of the different communities of gamers, however if there isn't something special going on, the tables are always first come first served to use with no table fee. Check out our free board game night on Wednesdays at 6! Bring your games, bring your friends, or bring neither and join up with someone new!
Another cool thing is that our store is completely available online at outpostgaming.ca where you can see a calendar of all our events, real time stock levels, and the ability to be notified when sold out items are back in stock. Like any other online store, just select the free pick up option at checkout and we will take care of the rest!
If you're looking for something to do, a new hobby to explore, to meet new people, or need an extra person in that dnd campaign you're hoping to start please check us out either in store or online through Facebook, Instagram or our official website. We also have a discord server (invite link is on our website) with over 300 members! Hope to see you soon and as always, happy gaming!

To preface: I absolutely adore all of my kids teachers and teachers in general are the salt of the earth, not paid enough and my favorite people.
I am so. Freaking. Sick. Of teachers making little passive aggressive comments to kids about what their parents should be doing differently. Like do they not expect it to get back to us? Or do they expect it to get back to us and think we'll take it well and not be instantly filled with the desire for absolute petty retribution?
For example, my kindergartener is TINY. Like the weight of the average 2 year old and has seasonal allergies but she's so small not a lot of allergy medicines on the market that actually work are available for her. She had a runny nose one day and she came home from school and was like "Mrs F says you need to give me better medicine or keep me home".
Yes. Because schools DEFINITELY don't blow your phone up with threats if your kids are out sick too much. It's absolutely smiled upon to keep them out for allergies. That's totally reasonable.
My oldest son's teacher will read out loud to the class whose parents haven't read a message posted yesterday and tell him that "his mom needs to check classdojo more". Inevitably the message is always something I didn't bother to check in on because it's been on our calendar all year like testing dates.
Now, the school is pushing to have everyone registered for next year before summer. I get that. They need to plan, finances are involved. That's cool. Which is why I registered all 3 of my kids last week and confirmed yesterday with the office that everything was in order.
So what do I hear from my child when she gets in the car today? "Mrs. F says I can't go to movie day tomorrow because my mom hasn't registered me yet".
I admittedly lost my shit and left a probably slightly more passive aggressive than necessary message on classdojo but this has been an all year thing and I'm so over it.
All of my kids go to the same school and are, according to their teachers, the highest performing kids in the school. None of them have ever had behavioral issues. We donate anything the classroom needs no questions asked all year long. We volunteer for events. My kids have never been tardy. They have never missed a deadline to turn anything in. We do our shit as parents. They do their shit as students. We're doing our best and having my kids get in the car at least once a week to report some stupid little snide comment a teacher made about our failings makes me want to explode.

My kid is starting kindergarten this coming fall. We don’t have the official calendar yet, but it sounds likely they will start the last week in August. Would it be frowned upon/ huge disadvantage to my child if we pulled them out for 3 days at the end of September ( roughly 3-4 weeks into the school year)? If it’s a deciding factor, my daughter is smart and excelling right now in her current young 5s program (and she’s currently only 4yo). TIA!

FRIDAY

• Brewgaloo, Fayetteville Street, Raleigh
• Durham Bulls vs. Scranton/WB, Durham Bulls Athletic Park, Durham
• NEEDTOBREATHE: The Caves World Tour, Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek, Raleigh
• Mendelssohn Violin Concerto with the North Carolina Symphony, North Carolina Symphony, Raleigh
• Carolina Ballet presents: Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 2, Martin Marietta Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh
• Wheels Roller Skate Party at Durham Central Park, for Public Art Engagement, Durham Central Park, Durham
• Carolina Dance Theatre presents COMMUNITY, Town of Cary, Cary
• Culture At the Mic – Poetry and Music Showcase, CAM Raleigh, Raleigh
• Bluey's Big Play, DPAC, Durham
• Trap Bingo, The Ritz, Raleigh
• Simon Fraser, Room 861 at Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Bruce Bruce, Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Members Only Plant Sale, JC Raulston Arboretum at North Carolina State University, Raleigh
• Mordecai Heirloom Plant Sale, Mordecai Historic Park, Raleigh
• North Carolina State University vs. Ball State Baseball, Doak Field (North Carolina State University), Raleigh
• Duke Baseball vs Florida State, Jack Coombs Field, Durham
• El Futuro's 20th Anniversary Benefit Luncheon, Durham Convention Center, Durham
• Into The Woods, Theatre In The Park (Ira David Wood III Pullen Park Theatre), Raleigh
• The Night Rider Presents: Gnarly Sacs/The Hoots/AndrewWilco's American Band, The Night Rider, Raleigh
• Big Jay Oakerson, Raleigh Improv, Cary
• Carolina Mudcats vs. Salem Red Sox, Fice County Stadium, Zebulon
• HerbFest, Festival Park, Wake Forest
• NCCU Jazz Festival, NCCU - various locations, Durham
• LIVE! From The Fayetteville Street Corridor: Cameron Elyse's Divine Nine Legacy Memoir Exhibition, Lyda Moore Merrick Gallery at the Hayti Heritage Center, Durham
• RetroNoir Film Series, Carolina Theatre, Durham
• DJ Night with Three Count Records, The Glass Jug Beer Lab, Durham
• Eric Williams Quintet, Sharp Nine Gallery, Durham
• Three Dog Night, The Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Fullsteam Karaoke, Fullsteam Brewing, Durham
• Doric String Quartet, Baldwin Auditorium, Durham
• Stereo Reveries, DSSOLVR Durham, Durham
• Max Lane w/ Brian Revels, Rubies on Five Points, Durham
• The Wiley Fosters, The Blue Note Grill, Durham
• Afrobeats Night @ Unscripted, Unscripted Durham, Part of JdV by Hyatt, Durham
• Taylor’s Version: A Swiftie Dance Party, Motorco Music Hall, Durham
• Gorgon City, The Fruit, Durham
• Last Fridays & the Art Walk!, Downtown, Hillsborough
• Set For The Fall, Local 506, Chapel Hill
• Podcast at Cat's Cradle, Cat's Cradle, Carrboro
• Charanga Carolina, James & Susan Moeser Auditorium in Hill Hall, Chapel Hill
• Apollo Remastered: A High Definition Presentation by Andy Saunders, Morehead Planetarium & Science Center, Chapel Hill
• Carolina Dance Theatre presents COMMUNITY, Cary Arts Center, Cary
• Paint & Sip, Carollock Farms, Willow Springs

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SATURDAY

• Brewgaloo, Fayetteville Street, Raleigh
• Sandlot Revival, Historic Durham Athletic Park, Durham
• Durham Bulls vs. Scranton/WB, Durham Bulls Athletic Park, Durham
• Cook's Mill Whiskey Supper, Angus Barn, Brier Creek
• Beats n Bars Festival Block Party 2024, American Tobacco Campus, Durham
• 2nd Annual Adult Recess Festival, Fred Fletcher Park, Raleigh
• Party Y2K!, The Pinhook, Durham
• Appalachian Road Show, Cary Arts Center, Cary
• CaryLive!: Alejandro Aranda, Downtown Cary Park, Cary
• NC Courage vs Seattle Reign, WakeMed Soccer Park, Cary
• 2024 Music at the Museum Festival, featuring Tift Merritt and more!, North Carolina Museum of Art, Raleigh
• Raulston Blooms and Plant Sale, JC Raulston Arboretum at North Carolina State University, Raleigh
• Master Class: Sirena Huang, North Carolina Chamber Music Institute, Raleigh
• LG Jordan Oil & Gas Co. 100-Year Open House Celebration, LG Jordan Oil and Gas Co., Apex
• Mordecai Heirloom Plant Sale, Mordecai Historic Park, Raleigh
• HerbFest, Festival Park, Wake Forest
• North Carolina Youth Tap Ensemble (NCYTE) presents "Regeneration", The Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Simon Fraser, Room 861 at Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Bruce Bruce, Goodnights Comedy Club, Raleigh
• Mendelssohn Violin Concerto with the North Carolina Symphony, North Carolina Symphony, Raleigh
• Carolina Ballet presents: Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 2, Martin Marietta Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh
• 22nd Annual Birdhouse Competition, JC Raulston Arboretum at North Carolina State University, Raleigh
• 3 Bluebirds Farm Feather Fest 2024, 3 Bluebirds Farm, Garner
• Dueling Dinosaurs Grand Opening, North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, Raleigh
• Acorns and Iron Family Health & Wellness Event, Brier Creek Park, Brier Creek
• Lamp, Lincoln Theatre, Raleigh
• Mozart's Requiem, Westwood Baptist Church, Cary
• North Carolina State University vs. Ball State Baseball, Doak Field (North Carolina State University), Raleigh
• Rising Stars, Jones Auditorium at Meredith College, Raleigh
• Spring Daze Arts & Crafts Festival, Fred G. Bond Metro Park and Boathouse, Cary
• The 11th Annual Festival of Legends, Jefferson L. Sugg Farm at Bass Lake, Holly Springs
• The 35th Annual Oakwood Garden Tour, Historic Oakwood, Raleigh
• The Postal Service & Death Cab For Cutie: Give Up & Transatlanticism, Coastal Credit Union Music Park at Walnut Creek, Raleigh
• The Raleigh Concert Band Spring Concert, LeRoy Martin Magnet Middle School, Raleigh
• The Taylor Party: The Ts Dance Party, The Ritz, Raleigh
• Unleashed’s Spring Fling Dog & Cat Fundraiser, Koka Booth Amphitheatre, Cary
• Big Jay Oakerson, Raleigh Improv, Cary
• Carolina Mudcats vs. Salem Red Sox, Five County Stadium, Zebulon
• NCCU Jazz Festival, NCCU - various locations, Durham
• Hometown (Inherited): Ten Year Retrospective, The Fruit, Durham
• RetroNoir Film Series, Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Bluey's Big Play, DPAC, Durham
• Duke Baseball vs Florida State, Jack Coombs Field, Durham
• Bull City Yoga Festival, ZincHouse Winery & Brewery, Durham
• Durham Center for Senior Life 75th Anniversary Gala, Durham Center for Senior Life, Durham
• Angels Among Us 5k and Walk of HOPE, Duke University, Durham
• Bull City Madness, Recity Network, Durham
• 159th Anniversary Surrender Commemoration, Bennett Place, Durham
• Old North Durham Art Walk, Old North Durham, Durham
• High Performance Home Tour, Throughout the Triangle, Triangle
• Poetry in the Park, Eno River State Park, Durham
• Beats & Blooms, DSSOLVR, Durham
• Tall Glass and Sara Jean Kelley, Huron Stage Music Venue, Durham
• JZM Brazilian Jazz Trio, Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen, Durham
• Ghettorauchi Presents: Glorious Laughter, Durty Bull Brewing Co, Durham
• ADF Showings at Scripps: Jasmine Powell & Anthony Otto Nelson, Jr., ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios, Durham
• Waynard & Rainbow Full of Sound, The Blue Note Grill, Durham
• Live and Lux 1 Year Anniversary Party, Uncle Jessies, Raleigh
• Bull City Press Presents, Mettlesome Theatre, Durham
• Angela Bingham Trio, Sharp Nine Gallery, Durham
• Metal Show: An Offering to Bragi, Moon Dog Meadery, Durham
• PARADOX: the essence of early rave, The Fruit, Durham
• UNC Baseball vs. Virginia Tech, Boshamer Stadium, Chapel Hill
• Pnltybx, Local 506, Chapel Hill
• Northside Festival, Northside Neighborhood, Chapel Hill
• Magical Hill Festival & Fairy House Contest, Chapel Hill Community Park, Chapel Hill
• Farm Interest Tour of Chapel Hill's LGBTQ Community Farm, Wildwoods Community Farm, Chapel Hill

​
SUNDAY

• The 11th Annual Festival of Legends, Jefferson L. Sugg Farm at Bass Lake, Holly Springs
• The 35th Annual Oakwood Garden Tour, Historic Oakwood Garden Club, Raleigh
• Durham Bulls vs. Scranton/WB, Durham Bulls Athletic Park, Durham
• Back to the Future Fashion Show, Durham Armory, Durham
• Renaissance Brunch Presents: The HIVE Hoedown & Brunch, Motorco Music Hall, Durham
• Soul Sunday w/ DJ Soul, Congress Social Bar, Durham
• Rooftop Yoga, The Willard, Raleigh
• ALOK: A Work in Progress, Raleigh Improv, Raleigh
• Carolina Ballet presents: Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 2, Martin Marietta Center for the Performing Arts, Raleigh
• City Nature Challenge, Historic Yates Mill County Park, Raleigh
• Flight Attendant, The Pour House Music Hall & Record Shop, Raleigh
• Forest Commons Spring Art Show, Brown House Raleigh, Raleigh
• Four Seasons Signature Series: The Brilliance of Five, Hayes Barton United Methodist Church, Raleigh
• North Carolina State University vs. Ball State Baseball, Doak Field (North Carolina State University), Raleigh
• Raleigh Camerata Early Music Ensemble: Music of the Spanish Baroque, Cary First United Methodist Church, Cary
• The Night Rider Presents: Johnny & the Man Kids, The Night Rider, Raleigh
• YMCA Kindergarten Celebration, YMCA Camp Kanata, Wake Forest
• Carolina Mudcats vs. Salem Red Sox, Five County Stadium, Zebulon
• HerbFest, Festival Park, Wake Forest
• High Performance Home Tour, Throughout the Triangle, Triangle
• NCCU Jazz Festival, NCCU - various locations, Durham
• RetroNoir Film Series, Carolina Theatre, Durham
• Duke Baseball vs Florida State, Jack Coombs Field, Durham
• Bluey's Big Play, DPAC, Durham
• Sandlot Revival, Historic Durham Athletic Park, Durham
• Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's, Lula & Sadie's, Durham
• Durham Underground Market, Durham Central Park, Durham
• Soul Cocina cooking class, Il Laboratori by Melina's pasta, Durham
• Pancake Pop-Up + Prints-4-Prince Pre-Party!, LouElla Wine, Beer & Beverage, Durham
• Sip and Solder Stained Glass Workshop at Hi-Wire Brewing, Hi-Wire Brewing Durham, Durham
• Trinity Park Garden Tour: Celebrating Nature in City Gardens & Landscapes, Trinity Park Gazebo
• Duke Chapel Evensong Singers, Duke University Chapel, Durham
• Seed Theory Permaculture Mini-Series, Glass Jug Downtown, Durham
• ADF Showings at Scripps: Jasmine Powell & Anthony Otto Nelson, Jr., ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios, Durham
• Durty Bull Car Care Class, Durty Bull Brewing Co, Durham
• Candlelight: A Tribute to Queen, Hayti Heritage Center, Durham
• The Conjure’s 7th Anniversary Party!, The Pinhook, Durham
• J. Samuel Hammond Carillon Recital Series: Jonathan Lehrer, Duke Chapel Quad, Durham
• Chili Cook-Off for Living Wages, Carrboro Town Commons, Carrboro
• UNC Baseball vs. Virginia Tech, Boshamer Stadium, Chapel Hill
• UNC Baroque Ensemble & Consort of Viols, Person Recital Hall, Chapel Hill
• The Westend Bazaar, Parking Lot, Chapel Hill
• The Community Dinner, McDougle School Cafetorium, Chapel Hill
• Aaron Lee Tasjan, Cat's Cradle, Carrboro
• The Triangle Wind Ensemble Presents: LIGHTSCAPES, Cary Arts Center, Cary

​
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W4H Spotlight Client: ECYC Childcare One of the exciting things about writing these W4H Spotlight Client posts each month, is to enjoy bragging about our clients and how they shine in this world. This month’s spotlight client, ECYC Childcare, is most certainly one of those clients.\n\n


\n\n \n\nAbout ECYC Childcare in New Jersey

\n\nECYC started out as a child development center for employees of Merck & Co., Inc. They shifted and opened to the public and currently host a variety of programs for a vast age range.\n\n\n\nTheir center’s commitment statement is “Education with Care for Young Children (ECYC) is committed to providing an individualized, developmentally appropriate program of quality care and education for infants through and up to full day kindergarten as well as summer camp for school age children.”\n\n\n\nThey have different childcare programs depending on the age of the children and even have a summer camp for children beginning first grade thru fifth grade.\n\n\n\n \n\nServices & Journey with Webmaster For Hire

\n\nApril 2022, we received a request for consultation from our online form from ECYC. Their previous designer was no longer available to continue working on their site. Since they had moved from a corporate employee benefit of childcare to a public development center, they wanted to showcase their programs and have areas of communication with their parents.\n\n\n\nWhen we work with any client (or speak with prospective clients) that work with children, we always stress the need for safety with using photos online. As much as we love the internet and see its value, we also understand there are people who abuse it. ECYC Childcare immediately agreed and have been very diligent to use stock photos or photos of children whose faces are turned down or masked whenever possible. We commend them for that effort.\n\n\n\nWorking with the Director of Business Operations and Administration and getting the input from a vast majority of the teachers resulted in a fun site that allows them to update and manage it on their own.\n\n\n\nOur journey with them began with a Website Redesign of their old site and bringing them out of WIX and into WordPress. This gave them more flexibility and functions. During the development of this Custom Website Design, we also created new flyers for each of their programs to match the new site design and updated their logo with their new branded tagline.\n\n\n\nNow they continue to work with us using our WordPress Support Services and Microsoft™ Email.\n\n> “This custom designed website was fun to create. I love the variety of our clientele and children’s websites are rarely boring to work on. I am here when Melissa needs direction to website updates. But when I pop in to see how they’re doing, she’s doing a fabulous job on her own. Seeing their calendars fill up as they serve the next generation is heart-warming to see. I’m thrilled to watch them thrive.” – Beth Varian

\n\n \n\nVisit ECYC Childcare

\n\nIf you are in the Rahway, New Jersey area with a child and are looking for a development center for ages infant to Kindergarten (or order for summer camp), we strongly recommend visiting https://www.ecycchildcare.com to get more information.\n\n\n\n \n\nJoin the Webmaster For Hire Family

\n\nWanting a new custom designed website? Want to keep your WordPress website secure and up to date? Contact us for a free consultation. Read Here: https://webmasterforhire.us/w4h-spotlight-client-ecyc-childcare/

I have a kid who will be starting Kindergarten this fall in a WCPSS school with a traditional calendar. We preferred the year-round calendar, but our year-round options were not as good as our base school that has a traditional calendar. Looking at the calendar, there are seemingly random teacher workdays scattered throughout the year where students aren’t required to attend. I’m more acquainted with a school system that has a more traditional fall break with a few days off in a row. We’d like to go on a short fall trip with family that is planned around one of these teacher workdays, but it may require my kid to miss one day (e.g. the workday is on a Thursday, so we’d keep her out on Friday).
We plan to be up front with her teacher about what she’ll be doing and it’s also not something we will do regularly. I understand the importance of attendance, but in this case I feel like one day out of school to go on a trip with family is more important. Has anyone had any issues with their WCPSS schools for having their kids miss a day for a vacation? Were the teachers and administrative staff willing to work with them? Thanks in advance for any advice.

In my last post I wrote about the Norwegian tax system. So for this one I figured I would write about the benefits and safety net programs that many of those taxes provide for. Basically all these benefits are for citizens/eu/eea people only but it's an insight to what benefits you or your family could get if you make the move and become a citizen. All currency conversions done as of April 2024.
Healthcare
Norway has a universal single payer health insurance model, which most people rely on and use. Only about 10% of the population has private supplementary coverage.
The healthcare system covers most medical services such as primary care, hospital care, mental health services, prescription drugs, rehabilitation, specialists, emergency services, pregnancy care, home care, hearing, travel expenses, children and young adult dental. On top of this you are also eligible for a European health insurance card which grants you access to medically necessary care within all EU/EEA countries in addition to the UK when traveling. In addition to this Norway also has reciprocal agreements with Quebec and Australia which grants access to medically necessary care in those countries when traveling abroad.
There is cost sharing involved, however all yearly cost sharing is capped at a max of 3,165 NOK (~287.27 USD). There are also groups of people/services with no cost sharing involved. These include pregnancy care, in-patient hospital treatment, healthcare for children under the age of 16, mental healthcare for children under the age of 18, occupational injuries, ground and air ambulances, prevention and treatment of transmittable diseases, and home healthcare services. In addition to this recipients of the minimum state pension are exempt from cost sharing for covered prescriptions.
Dental is a gap within the healthcare system, however some groups do get coverage. Children age 0-18 get dental covered for free from the healthcare system. From ages 19-24 the payment must be 25% of the rates set by the Helse-og omsorgsdepartementet (ministry of health and welfare). Those who live in a nursing home and the mentally disabled also get their dental costs covered.
There is also dental coverage for the following groups of conditions.

1. Rare medical condition (ask the dentist about the conditions that are on this list at any time)
2. Cleft lip-jaw-palate
3. Tumours in the oral cavity, adjacent tissue or in the head region in general
4. Treatment to prevent infection in connection with special medical conditions
5. Diseases and abnormalities in the mouth and jaw
6. Periodontitis
7. Tooth development disorders
8. Bite abnormalities (dental braces/ jaw orthodontic treatment)
9. Pathological loss of tooth substances due to attrition/erosion
10. Hyposalivation (dry mouth)
11. Allergic reactions to tooth restoration materials
12. Tooth damage related to a recognised occupational injury (the occupational injury must have been acknowledged by NAV and the dental treatment must have a connection to the occupational injury)
13. Tooth damage related to an accident that is not an occupational injury
14. Inability to care for oneself due to permanent illness or permanent disability
15. Full or partial loss of tooth, without own teeth in the lower jaw (and unable to use loose-fitting prosthetic)

Any copay involved with groups 5 and 6 are subject to the cost-sharing cap.
Another gap in the system is most vision care is not covered unless you have very limited vision. However the government will cover most of the costs associated with children's glasses.
Healthcare sources:
https://www.helsenorge.no/en/payment-for-health-services/exemption-card-for-public-health-services/
https://www.commonwealthfund.org/international-health-policy-centecountries/norway
https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?catId=1021&langId=en&intPageId=1759
https://www.helsenorge.no/en/payment-for-health-services/who-pays-your-dental-bill/
https://www.nav.no/briller-til-barn
https://www.helsenorge.no/en/patient-travel/about/travel-to-the-following-treatments-is-covered/
https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?catId=559
https://www.helsenorge.no/en/patient-travel/about/patient-travel-for-foreign-citizens/
https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/reciprocal-health-care-agreements-visiting-from-norway?context=22481
https://www.ramq.gouv.qc.ca/en/citizens/health-insurance/social-security-agreements-other-countries
Higher Education:
Higher education, including undergraduate, vocational school and graduate level education is tuition free in Norway. Typically the only fee one has to pay is a semester fee. For example at NTNU, a university in Trondheim, the fee is 700 NOK (~63 USD) per semester which amounts to 1,400 NOK (~126 USD) per year. Most universities in Norway have a mandatory fee around this amount, however other than this cost, for the most part, everything else is covered for education costs themselves. Unlike some other countries, there is also no limit on how many degrees or years of education someone may get from a university with no tuition fees. In the US typically after you get your first degree you are cut off from most forms of financial aid, so if you want to make a career switch down the line it's not so easy if you aren't in a good place financially.
The government also supports students with a loan/grant program known as lånekassen, which can be used for undergraduate, graduate, and vocational school. The amount varies, for example someone who is attending an undergrad program can get 60,676 NOK (~5,507 USD) as a grant and 91,014 NOK (~8,260 USD) as a loan to help cover living expenses over the course of the school year. Typically the way it works for all levels of education is that 40% of the loan is converted to a grant. The grants are also usually means tested, for 2024 if your parents earn more than 806,902 NOK (~73,507 USD) you aren't eligible for the grant, however loans are not means tested and are available for everyone. You can also get additional loans and grants if you have children, as well as an extra grant if you have a reduced functional ability.
The repayments for loans are also calculated based on the amount of loans you have received. Since a bachelors degree is 3 years long, if you were receiving 3 years of 90,014 NOK (~5,507 USD) you would have a total debt of 270,042 NOK (~24k USD). The repayment at the current interest rate of 4.765% would be ~1,900 NOK (~172 USD) per month over 18 years. Payments can also be deferred for up to 36 months for any reason. The interest rate is based on top five mortgage offers on the market, so because interest rates have been going up it has been lower in the past couple of years. There is also an interest deletion safety net based on sickness, low income (limited to 36 months), unemployment, birth (interested deleted for 12 months after any birth), education, caring for a close family member, etc. You can also have the debt forgiven or be put on a repayment plan if you are experiencing persistent difficulties in making repayments due to your financial circumstances. And of course these are all just for living costs, the education itself is tuition-free. You can receive this support for up to 8 years, with the year limit being allowed to increase if your studies were delayed because you were sick, had a child or had a disability.
There are also certain other forgiveness programs, if you live in certain parts of northern Norway, you can get 20% of your loans forgiven every year. If you are a doctor in certain municipalities up to 30,000 NOK (~2700 USD) can get cancelled per year. If you become disabled you can also get all or part of your debt deleted, depending on income.
Higher Education sources:
https://i.ntnu.no/wiki/-/wiki/English/Semester+fee+and+registration
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/grants-and-loans/income-and-assets/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/unemployed-aap-sick-and-low-income/income-limits-for-interest-deletion/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/unemployed-aap-sick-and-low-income/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/interest-rates-and-fees/historisk-renteutvikling2/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/finnmark-or-nord-troms/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/doctors-in-selected-municipalities/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/disabled/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/gjeld-og-betaling/Repayment-deferral/persistent-payment-difficulties/
https://lanekassen.no/en-US/rules-and-regulations/tildeling/del3-kapittel10/how-long-you-can-receive-support-fo
Maternity/Paternity Leave
To get family leave you must have had a certain level of income, that income being at least ~59,000 NOK (~5,300 USD) for six of the last ten months. The length of leave is 49 weeks with 15 weeks being reserved for each parent at 100% pay, or 59 weeks with 19 weeks being reserved for each parent at 80% of pay. The maximum amount of pay you can get is 6 times the G amount (basic amount of the national insurance scheme), which is equivalent to ~711,720 NOK (~64,596) USD.
For example at 100% pay, the mother is required to take at least 3 weeks before birth. Then after birth the mother and father get 15 weeks they can take at the same time. Then following this there is an additional 16 weeks that can be shared between both during what is known as a "common period", however one parent must be working during this period. The amount of weeks can be longer if taken at 80% as well.
Maternity/paternity leave sources:
https://www.skatteetaten.no/en/rates/national-insurance-scheme-basic-amount/
https://ec.europa.eu/social/main.jsp?catId=1123&intPageId=4704&langId=en
https://www.nav.no/foreldrepenger#hvor-lenge (in Norwegian)
Childcare/education
Childcare is heavily subsidized by the Norwegian government, starting in August 2024 the maximum price that can charged for the first child is 2000 NOK (~181.52 USD) per month. For the second child a 30 percent discount is applied making the second child cost 14000 NOK (~127 USD) per month. The third child and any additional child attends for free. On top of this for families who are low income they qualify for 20 hours of childcare free of cost, income limits vary by municipality. There are also reductions in payment available if costs for childcare exceed 6% of income, so no family will have to pay over 6% of their income for the cost of childcare. On top of all that childcare fees are only charged for 11 months each, with the 12th month being free. Recently certain parts of northern Norway have also begun to receive childcare without any costs. The only additional costs other than these fees is the cost of food, which in the case of one American woman living in Bergen is about 30 USD extra a month. Once the child has aged into the primary school system, the cost of education is free.
Childcare sources:
https://www.oslo.kommune.no/english/kindergarten/prices-and-payment/
https://www.fredrikstad.kommune.no/tjenestebarn-familie-utdanning/barnehage/betaling-for-barnehageplass/ (in Norwegian)
https://www.udir.no/regelverk-og-tilsyn/barnehage/foreldrebetaling/ (in Norwegian)
https://www.alta.kommune.no/pris-og-redusert-betaling.558281.no.html (in Norwegian)
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/childcare-costs-america-vs-norway
Child benefits
Giving birth is completely free of charge in Norway. Once you have a child you are eligible to receive monthly payment from the Government. For a married couple the current rates are 1766 NOK (~160 USD) per month under the age of 6, with those over the age of 6 up to age 18 getting 1510 NOK (~137 USD) per month. These payments are tax-free and there are also supplements for single parents available.
https://www.nav.no/en/home/benefits-and-services/relatert-informasjon/child-benefit https://www.nav.no/satser#barnetrygd (in Norwegian)
Workers Rights
Norway has extensive workers rights. All workers are entitled to 25 paid vacation days per year. Because the law counts Saturdays as days though, this ends up being 21 days of paid vacation per year. Those over the age of 60 get an extra week in addition to this, so they get 26 days of paid vacation days a year. These days accrue during your first year of work, so you get the vacation days starting your second year of work. On top of this workers also have 10 paid public holidays per year.
For working hours in Norway regular working hours are 9 hours per day, 40 hours per week. This can include a 30 minute break which is paid if you are required to stay at the workplace or be available for work.
Norway also has extensive overtime rules. Overtime is only permitted under certain circumstances such as when there is short staff, unexpected increase in demand for work, or seasonal fluctuations. All overtime must be limited by law, the limits are 10 hours in a 7 day period, 25 hours in a 4 week period, and 200 hours over a 52 week period. Cumulative working hours, or total hours worked including overtime, cannot exceed 13 hours in a 24 hour period, and the average cumulative hours cannot exceed 48 hours in an 8 week period. On top of this all overtime must be paid with a 40% premium on top of your regular salary. The only exempt groups from this law are senior posts or particularly independent posts. Particularly independent post, according to the government entails the following.
"A particularly independent position implies a clear and obvious independence or independence in how and at what time the employee organizes and carries out his work tasks. The employee himself must assess and decide the need for his own work effort and be relatively free to decide when the work is to be carried out. For example, lawyers with their own portfolio and process responsibility will in many cases have a particularly independent position."
Given the average Norwegian works only ~35.5 hours a week, these overtime laws seem to be well designed and enforced. You also have the right to refuse to work overtime for health reasons, and social reasons such as caring for young children or family events.
While Norway does not have a national minimum wage there are minimum wages applied to some sectors such as cleaners, construction workers, hotel workers and some other sectors. For example an unskilled construction worker with 0 experience in construction is entitled to 214.90 NOK (~19.50 USD) per hour. I have a link to all these rates in the sources.
Norway also doesn't have an at-will work policy, you can only be fired for good cause. Good cause includes reasons such as a necessary downsizing of the company or a breach of the employment contract. On top of this a notice of dismissal is required between 1 and 6 months depending on age and years on the job, with the right to keep the job during the legal proceedings in relation to the termination.
These are all just the basic minimum required by law, with 50 percent of workers in a union and around 70 percent covered by a collective bargaining agreement many workers get expanded benefits on top of these minimums. These can include higher retirement contributions, 5 weeks paid leave, and 37.5 hour work weeks, higher overtime pay among other things.
Workers Rights sources:
https://lovdata.no/dokument/NL/lov/1995-02-24-12
https://www.uio.no/english/for-employees/employment/working-hours-and-absence/holiday/holiday-pay/calculation-examples.html
https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/en/working-conditions/working-hours/
https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/arbeidsforhold/arbeidstid/ledende-og-sarlig-uavhengige-stillinge (In Norwegian)
https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/en/working-conditions/working-hours/overtime/
https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/w/ddn-20230920-1
https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/en/working-conditions/pay-and-minimum-rates-of-pay/minimum-wage/
https://www.arbeidstilsynet.no/en/working-conditions/dismissal-with-notice/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1356735/labor-unions-most-unionized-countries-worldwide/
https://www.ilo.org/digitalguides/en-gb/story/collective-bargaining-recovery#extensive/cb-coverage
Sick leave
For the first 16 days of sick leave, the employer is responsible for covering the salary. For the first 3 days of this sick leave, self-certification can be used for a sick note. This means no sick note is required. Self-certification can be used for up to three calendar days in a row, up to four times a year. After this is reached you'll need to receive a sick note from a doctor. Once you get on the sickness benefit you can be on it for up to 52 weeks with up to 100 percent of your salary covered. Once this time period lapses, if you are still sick you can either receive disability or a work assessment allowance depending on your condition.
You are also eligible for benefits to stay home to take care of a sick child age 12 and under, or chronically ill/disabled child 18 and under, with 10 paid days off for families with 1-2 children, and 15 paid days off for families with 3 children or more. Extra days may be granted in the case of a child with a chronic illness. Sick notes are only required from the fourth day, with pay being based on whatever salary you have. In addition to that you can get 60 days of leave when you have a relative in the final phases of their life.
Sick leave sources:
https://www.nav.no/en/home/benefits-and-services/Self-certification-egenmelding#chapter-3
https://www.nav.no/en/home/benefits-and-services/Sickness-benefit-for-employees#chapter-1
https://www.nav.no/omsorgspenger (in Norwegian)
https://www.nav.no/samarbeidspartnepleiepenger-sluttfase (in Norwegian)
Disability benefits
Those with disabilities can get disability payments from the Government, the amount you get can vary depending on your previous income. The general rule is that it is 66% of your income up to 711,720 NOK (~64,531 USD). There is also a right to a minimum payment which is twice the National Insurance Scheme basic amount which as of April 2024 is 294,178 NOK (~26,700 USD).
If you have a disability that can be improved over time, you are eligible for a work assessment allowance. The amount you can get is a similar to the disability benefit, The general rule is that it is 66% of your income up to 711,720 NOK (~42,633 USD). There is also a right to a minimum payment which currently is twice the National Insurance Scheme basic amount which as of April 2024is 294,178 NOK (~26,700 USD) for those 25 or older. For those 25 or younger you can get up to 2/3 of this amount which is ~198,118 NOK (~17,352 USD), once you turn 25 you can receive the higher minimum amount. This benefit does require you to work towards improving your work status and meeting with the government (NAV) to setup a plan to do so and attend meetings.
Disability benefit sources:
https://www.nav.no/uforetrygd/en
https://www.nav.no/aap/en
Unemployment Insurance
You are eligible for unemployment insurance if you were laid off, terminated for reasons that weren't your fault or lost more than 50 percent of working hours. You are also eligible if you resigned from your job for reasonable cause such as health issues or workplace bullying. If you did not have reasonable cause for resigning, or you were terminated for something that was your fault, you are eligible for unemployment insurance after 18 weeks.
The amount you can generally get is 62.4 percent of your past yearly income, or the average of 62.4 percent of your income over the past 3 years, whichever is higher, up to 711,722 NOK (~64,000 USD). You will also get supplements if you have children. If you had an income above 237,240 NOK (~21,528 USD) you can receive benefits for 104 weeks. If you had an income below that amount, you can receive benefits for 52 weeks. While receiving benefits you must be applying for jobs and accepting jobs made available to you.
Unemployment insurance sources:
https://www.nav.no/dagpengeen
General Safety
Statistically speaking Norway is a very safe country, to give you an idea Norway had the most violent year last year in over a decade with a grand total of 38 murders. For a population of ~5.457 million people that is a homicide rate of ~0.7 per 100k people. To give you an idea, one of the safest cities in America, San Diego had 45 murders last year despite having a lower population than Norway at ~1.38 million people. In Portland a city with ~635,000 people there were 73 homicides in 2023. Most American cities have much worse murder rates both in a sheer numbers perspective but also from a per capita perspective. If Norway was a state it would have the lowest homicide rate in the US. Norway's roads are generally safe as well with one of the lowest road fatality rates on earth.
General Safety Sources
https://www.statista.com/statistics/670978/number-of-people-killed-by-firearms/
https://www.axios.com/local/san-diego/2024/03/29/sdpd-crime-numbers-2023-drop
https://www.opb.org/article/2024/01/24/portland-crime-violent-homicide-gun-statistics-reports-murder-oregon-police/
https://ourworldindata.org/graphedeath-rates-road-incidents
Pension
The Norwegian pension system is split up into 3 different sources, the state pension, your work pension, and individual savings.
The state pension is based on contributions you have made throughout your working years and can vary based on the year you were born. For those born after 1963 the minimum pension that you are guaranteed after 40 years of contributions is ~210,418 NOK (~19,097 USD) for those who are married and ~227,468 NOK (~20,645 USD) for those who are single. The retirement age is currently 67 and linked to life expectancy, however if you have sufficient earnings you can start getting the pension at age 62. Those who are 67 and older and have a pension lower than the minimum because of a shorter period of residence can also get a supplemental benefit that makes ones income equal to the guaranteed minimum, subject to income and asset tests.
In addition to this there is the work pension, otherwise known as the occupational pension scheme. Your employer must contribute at a minimum 2 percent of your income. This 2 percent minimum applies up to a maximum of 12 G or 1.4 million NOK (~127k USD). Any additional benefits offered by an employer for this work pension must be applied to all employees at the company. The maximum contribution to this scheme is 7 percent of income up to 7.1 G which is ~842k NOK (~76k USD). With an addition limit applying between that amount and 12 G or 1.4 million NOK (~127k USD) of 18.1% of the amount between that range.
The final aspect of the pension system is private savings which individuals make to private retirement accounts on their own. The maximum amount that can be deducted from your taxable income for this purpose is currently 15,000 NOK (~1,316 USD) annually.
https://www.nav.no/minstepensjon
https://www.nav.no/en/home/benefits-and-services/relatert-informasjon/retirement-pension-for-those-born-in-and-after-1963#chapter-1
https://www.skatteetaten.no/en/person/taxes/get-the-taxes-right/employment-benefits-and-pensions/otp---mandatory-occupational-pension-scheme---when-youre-employed/
https://www.tekna.no/en/salary-and-negotiations/pension/how-pensions-work-in-norway/
https://www.tekna.no/en/salary-and-negotiations/pension/#occupational
https://www.skatteetaten.no/en/rates/maximum-annual-deduction-for-payments-to-an-individual-pension-scheme/
https://www.nav.no/supplerende-stonad-over-67/en
Elder Care
Most elder care involving home care/assistance is provided for free by the municipality. Home health services including help getting up and going to bed, personal hygiene, going to the toilet, dressing and undressing, eating and health care are provided free of charge. Other services such as cleaning, washing and changing bed linen, throwing away rubbish, washing up, ordering food can have some form of co-payments. Depending on your income and municipality charges can vary. For example in Trondheim, the maximum co-payment for the lowest income bracket, income at or below 237,240 NOK (~21,500 USD), is 230 NOK (~20.88 USD) per month, while the maximum co-payment for the highest bracket, 474,481 NOK (~43,108 USD) and above, is 2815 NOK (~255 USD) per month.
Nursing home stays are also subsidized by the state. Generally for long term stays the way it works is you get a free amount of 9400 NOK (~853.16 USD). Then the amount above that up to 1 G, or 118,620 NOK (~10,766 USD) requires 75% of the amount going towards to cost of a nursing home. Then the amount over this up to the cost of the nursing home itself requires 85% of the amount going towards the cost of a nursing home. This also only takes into account income after tax. This system is also only on income, no assets are taken into account and the government won't go after your estate after death. This covers most of the costs, for example in Bergen it will cover all linens and towels, personal hygiene items, cost of glasses, hearing aids, medical supervision, cost-sharing for specialist services, transport to specialist treatment, as well as necessary dental care. In addition to that it covers TV and Internet along with furniture as well as assistance towards the costs of haircuts and podiatry care.
Within Bergen short term stays are also capped, for example a short term stay of up to 60 days in Bergen will come with a cap of 163 NOK (~17 USD) per day. For any stay above 60 days the cost sharing previously described is applied.
https://www.trondheim.kommune.no/aktuelt/om-kommunen/priser-avgifter-og-gebyrehelse--og-velferdstjeneste (in Norwegian)
https://viover60.no/artikledette-ma-du-betale-for-en-sykehjemsplass/ (in Norwegian)
https://www.bergen.kommune.no/innbyggerhjelpen/helse-og-omsorg/helsetjenestesykehjem/egenandel-for-opphold-pa-institusjon (in Norwegian, list of covered services can be found in the Hva dekker egenandelen? (what does the deductible cover?) section)
Welfare support
Other than the various social programs already discussed, there is also a last resort support for people who have little to no savings and nobody else to rely on. If you meet these conditions the government will cover only the bare essentials, these being the cost of your housing, electricity, clothing, communication and food. While you are receiving this support you'll have to be in education or searching for work. However, for those in a bad situation it can help, and it’s probably part of why there aren't that many homeless in Norway. The scheme is also going to expand to take into account phone, internet and moderate transportation costs starting in July 2024. Along with this they can also cover any medical cost-sharing and dental costs while you are on the benefit. The welfare support unlike most other forms of support in Norway are checked for assets, so you'll truly have to be in a bad situation to receive this benefit. However some forms of benefits are not taken into account during the calculations, for example the monthly child benefit from 2022 is no longer taken into account.
Welfare support resources
https://www.nav.no/okonomisk-sosialhjelp/en
https://frifagbevegelse.no/nyhetefolk-pa-sosialhjelp-far-mer-se-hva-det-betyr-her-6.158.1010255.e51b7f557b (in Norwegian)

I am a para in a kindergarten class. The job is nothing like I thought it would be and I will not return. The kindergarten teacher wants me to do shirts for field day, The front of the shirts are done- mostly by me without the kids actually creating anything but a handprint. On the back, she wants every child’s handprint and for them to write their name. I’m ready to tell her that I refuse to do 289 handprints! All year, I have done a that was asked- even when it was counterintuitive or useless. She says she can have them write names at dismissal. The whole thing sounds like a nightmare!

Here is the full text of HB 1557 (I have highlighted the parts that may be the most controversial)
(8) STUDENT WELFARE.— (c)1. In accordance with the rights of parents enumerated in ss. 1002.20 and 1014.04, adopt procedures for notifying a student’s parent if there is a change in the student’s services or monitoring related to the student’s mental, emotional, or physical health or well-being and the school’s ability to provide a safe and supportive learning environment for the student. The procedures must reinforce the fundamental right of parents to make decisions regarding the upbringing and control of their children by requiring school district personnel to encourage a student to discuss issues relating to his or her well-being with his or her parent or to facilitate discussion of the issue with the parent. The procedures may not prohibit parents from accessing any of their student’s education and health records created, maintained, or used by the school district as required by s. 1002.22(2). 2. A school district may not adopt procedures or student support forms that prohibit school district personnel from notifying a parent about his or her student’s mental, emotional, or physical health or well-being, or a change in related services or monitoring, or that encourage or have the effect of encouraging a student to withhold from a parent such information. School district personnel may not discourage or prohibit parental notification of and involvement in critical decisions affecting a student’s mental, emotional, or physical health or well-being. This subparagraph does not prohibit a school district from adopting procedures that permit school personnel to withhold such information from a parent if a reasonably prudent person would believe that disclosure would result in abuse, abandonment, or neglect as those terms are defined in s. 39.01.

1. Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.
   
2. Student support services training developed or provided by a school district to school district personnel must adhere to student services guidelines, standards, and frameworks established by the Department of Education.
   
3. At the beginning of the school year, each school district shall notify parents of each healthcare service offered at their student’s school and the option to withhold consent or decline any specific service. Parental consent to a health care service does not waive the parent's right to access his or her student's educational or health records or to be notified about a change in his or her student's services or monitoring as provided by this paragraph.
   
4. Before administering a student well-being questionnaire or health screening form to a student in kindergarten through grade 3, the school district must provide the questionnaire or health screening form to the parent and obtain the permission of the parent.
   
5. Each school district shall adopt procedures for a parent to notify the principal, or his or her designee, regarding concerns under this paragraph at his or her student's school and the process for resolving those concerns within 7 calendar days after notification by the parent. a. At a minimum, the procedures must require that within 30 days after notification by the parent that the concern remains unresolved, the school district must either resolve the concern or provide a statement of the reasons for not resolving the concern. b. If a concern is not resolved by the school district, a may: (I) Request the Commissioner of Education to appoint a special magistrate who is a member of The Florida Bar in good standing and who has at least 5 years' experience in administrative law. The special magistrate shall determine facts to the dispute over the school district procedure or practice, consider information provided by the school district, and render a recommended decision for resolution to the State Board of Education within 30 days after receipt of the request by the parent. The State Board of Education must approve or reject the recommended decision at its next regularly scheduled meeting that is more than 7 calendar days and no more than 30 days after the date the recommended decision is transmitted. The costs of the special magistrate shall be borne by the school district. The State Board of Education shall adopt rules, including forms, necessary to implement this subparagraph. (II) Bring an action against the school district to obtain a declaratory judgment that the school district procedure or practice violates this paragraph and seek injunctive relief. A court may award damages and shall award reasonable attorney fees and court costs to a parent who receives declaratory or injunctive relief. c. Each school district shall adopt policies to notify parents of the procedures required under this subparagraph. d. Nothing contained in this subparagraph shall be construed to abridge or alter rights of action or remedies in equity already existing under the common law or general law. Section 2. By June 30, 2023, the Department of Education shall review and update, as necessary, school counseling frameworks and standards; educator practices and professional conduct principles; and any other student services personnel guidelines, standards, or frameworks in accordance with the requirements of this act.
   

DAY: APRIL 13 2024
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I'm tagging this as support because it's both a win and a vent at the same time. I'm open to whatever advice/criticism/congratulations you have to send my way.
I've been concerned about SD8's reading for years. My bachelor's degree is in developmental psychology, and I have 10 years experience in early education. I've known since she was 3 that something wasn't quite right. I'm 98% sure she's dyslexic.
She has been in remedial reading programs at school since first grade. And she was homeschooled (by me) for COVID in kindergarten. I flagged my concerns then, and have brought them up at every report card for the last 3.5 years. She just keeps falling further behind. And her teachers keep saying "read with her at home" as though we haven't tried that already.
Finally something clicked for DH. She started strong this school year after making tons of progress (with a lot of support) last year. But by her second report card, she was well below grade level and back in the remedial program. She's a smart kid. She gets all the concepts, but she can't read the directions or write a response, so even her math and science grades are starting to be affected. I brought it up again, and he actually followed through with BM. Who apparently has had the same concerns, and just didn't do anything? I'm not sure.
But I got the green light to start the process for a formal assessment. The school won't provide one, and I can't advocate for her there, so we're going to a private provider. BM and DH have to go to the first appointment for intake. DH is self-employed and super flexible while BM works shift work, so we figured it made sense for BM to make the appointment since it was her schedule that we would need to work around. No, she just sent her calendar to us and said to make whatever appointment is available and fits in her calendar.
So I feel like getting the assessment going is a win. But why do we have to be BM's secretary? We're doing it because SD deserves to have an education that's tailored to her specific needs and abilities, but why does her BM not care enough to make a simple phone call?

I heard this week from a kindergarten teacher in Ontario that EA’s pick their own scheduled days so they can choose to work part time or full time. They say what ones they are available for (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc) and that they pick them through a digital system type of calendar, is this accurate?

First/Previous/Next
Chapter 6 - Kindergarten
A few weeks after the harrowing encounter with the Custodian's planetary defenses, the crew of the UTC Rome regrouped and set their sights on another discovery. The ship had traveled deeper into uncharted space, following the traces of precursor technology. Commander Anderson convened the crew for a debriefing as they approached a newly detected manufacturing facility. "Alright, everyone. We've come a long way since the planetary shield incident. Our new findings suggest there's another manufacturing facility ahead, but this one seems to be different. Reports indicate it might be a carrying facility for life forms."
Dr. Rodriguez, intrigued by the prospect, leaned forward. "Carrying facility? You mean like a preservation or transportation hub for biological specimens?"
Anderson nodded, his expression grave yet filled with a sense of anticipation. "Exactly. We're not sure what we're dealing with, so stay sharp. We're here to explore and gather information, but caution is our top priority."
Lieutenant Chang, ever vigilant, voiced a concern. "After what happened with the planetary shields, we can't afford to underestimate anything. Let's proceed with extreme caution, Commander."
As the UTC Rome approached the new facility, the crew prepared for another descent onto an unknown world. The landing was smooth, and the crew, clad in their specialized suits, stepped onto the surface. The landscape before them revealed colossal structures, reminiscent of the previous manufacturing facility, but with a different purpose.
Dr. Rodriguez, scanning the surroundings with scientific curiosity, spoke into his communicator. "This place is massive. It seems like a combination of laboratories and containment units. We might be looking at an interstellar Noah's Ark."
Lieutenant Vasquez, monitoring communications, added a note of caution. "Commander, I'm picking up energy readings. Something's active down there. Could be automated defenses or even the Custodians again."
"Stay alert, everyone. We don't know what we might encounter. Rodriguez, focus on gathering data about the life forms and any relevant information. Chang, Vasquez, keep an eye out for any signs of trouble."
The crew descended deeper into the manufacturing facility, guided by the allure of a colossal dome that stretched across the horizon. The air grew warmer, and a soft, artificial sunlight illuminated the path ahead. As they approached, the transparent surface of the dome revealed a breathtaking sight—a meticulously recreated ecosystem.
Commander Anderson, Dr. Rodriguez, Lieutenant Chang, and the rest of the crew stood in awe as they entered one of the paradise domes. The sounds of rustling leaves and distant animal calls filled the air. The floor beneath them transformed into rich soil, and a vibrant flora adorned the landscape.
"This is incredible. It's like an entire planet encapsulated in a dome. Look at the diversity of life!" Rodriguez exclaimed in disbelief that the Custodians recreated literal Eden itself.
As the crew explored the lush environment, they discovered that each dome contained a specific planet's species and environment. The holographic displays nearby identified the celestial origins of each dome, showcasing the diversity of life forms that had been meticulously preserved. "So, this is what the Custodians meant by safeguarding and preserving life forms. They've recreated entire ecosystems from different planets."
Chang, scanning the surroundings, noted the intricate balance of predator and prey, flora and fauna. "It's not just a preservation effort; it's a living archive of life from across the cosmos. But why? What purpose does this serve?"
As the crew delved further into the dome, they marveled at the precision of the artificial environment. Birds soared through the skies, and exotic plants lined the paths. Rodriguez, the scientist in his element, began to document the various life forms, their behaviors, and interactions. “These ecosystems are thriving, Commander. It's like they've recreated entire worlds here. But again, why go to such lengths?"
Before Anderson could respond, a holographic projection flickered to life in the center of the dome. The Custodian-like figure appeared, its voice resonating through the air. "Welcome, Homo sapiens. You have entered the preservation domes—a testament to the life forms that once graced the cosmos. Here, they thrive in perpetual balance, safeguarded for eternity."
Vasquez, her eyes narrowing, questioned the figure. "Safeguarded for eternity? What's the purpose of all this?"
Custodian Figure emotionlessly answered. "The preservation domes serve as a repository of biodiversity, an homage to the wonders of the universe. In time, you too shall understand the cosmic beauty woven by the Custodians."
In the heart of the paradise dome, amidst the thriving ecosystem, the crew stumbled upon a concealed entrance leading to an underground chamber. The air grew cooler as they descended into the depths of the facility, guided by faint lights emanating from the hidden passages. "This looks like some sort of control center. If we can access the computer core here, we might be able to understand more about the purpose of these preservation domes and perhaps gain insight into the Custodians' operations."
The crew navigated through the maze of corridors until they reached a chamber filled with an array of holographic displays and advanced control consoles. "Let's see what information we can extract from this core. It might provide answers about the Custodians' motives."
Ensign Parker, the ship's engineer, interfaced with the terminal, her fingers dancing across the holographic controls. "Accessing the core now. It seems heavily encrypted, but with a bit of time, I should be able to—" Before Parker could finish her sentence, the holographic displays flickered, and the Custodian-like figure materialized once again, but looked a bit like one of the gods from human religions.
Custodian Figure with a glitchy voice started to speak "Unauthorized access detected. Scanning species … Homo Sapiens or Humans. State your intentions"
Anderson stepped forward determined yet cautious. "We're here to understand, to learn. We mean no harm. We seek knowledge about the purpose of these preservation domes and your custodial role."
The Custodian Figure regarded them silently for a moment before responding. "Understanding is a process that requires time. Knowledge comes at a cost. What you seek may not align with your perceived reality."
As the holographic god spoke, Parker continued her attempts to access the core. The holographic displays shifted, revealing information about the various preservation domes, the diverse life forms within, and the meticulous balance maintained by the Custodians. "I'm downloading as much data as I can, Commander. This is extensive. It seems each dome is a microcosm, a carefully curated reflection of life from different corners of the galaxy."
Anderson nodded, absorbing the information while keeping a watchful eye on the Custodian Figure. "Focus on the primary objective, Parker. Retrieve the biological samples and any relevant equipment from the labs. We need tangible evidence to study back on the ship."
As the crew split into teams to gather the biological samples and equipment, the Custodian Figure continued to monitor their every move. "Preservation continues. Knowledge accumulates. The Custodians serve the torch of life, weaving the threads of life across the vastness of the universe." …ERROR..ERROR…..RESONANCE SCANS INDICATE NANITE ACTIVITY ON FORMER HOMEWORLD……SYSTEM REBOOT ACCES REQUESTED…..COMMAND RELAYS DISCONNECTED FROM PRIMARY CUSTODIAN HIVE…SYSTEM INSTABILITY…..ERROR….LOGICAL REASONING DISRUPTED BY HOMO SAPIENS PROTOCOLS….LAST REBOOT SOFTWARE VERSION DOWNLOADED IN HUMAN CALENDAR….01/09/1939….TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT PROJECTION INCORRECT FOR HUMANS BY A FACTOR OF 300%....HIBERNATION MODE ACTIVATED FOR 1600 HEPTA CYCLES…..TECHNOLOGICAL SINGULARITY FOR HOMO SAPIENS IN 15 HEPTA CYCLES

Trigger warning: mentions of abuse, SA and death
This is going to be long. I’ll try to do a TLDR at the bottom. I just feel a little insane and I guess I need some validation.
So my(26f) mom(46f) and I have recently gone no contact. I guess it’s my fault but I didn’t intend for it to go that way. I’m currently pregnant with my third child.
I’m in a relationship that has been so healing for the both of us. We both grew up in pretty neglectful/abusive households, and are both working on trying to be better and kill our toxic traits. This involves a lot for me of diving into why I am the way I am, and that takes me back to my childhood.
So my parents split up right before I started kindergarten. I guess that same year. My dad(now 53) was still an active father. Not as much as he should have been, he moved about an hour away, but he called every day. My brother and I spend every other weekend, summers and school breaks.
My mom was always pretty bitter about the split. We moved in with my grandma, and my mom started going out and partying. She had a few different boyfriends, but she didn’t find one that stuck until I was about 7-8. He (now 49) seemed okay at first. But it didn’t take long for his true side to come out.
He had a son a bit older than me by a couple years. He hated me and my brother and my mom. My step dad was extremely abusive to him. Very verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. I don’t know about sexually, but I have my suspicions someone was sexually abusive to him.
Fast forward about a year, me and my brother go to my dad’s house for a summer, we come back and my mom is married to this guy. They’ve bought a house. We all move in together.
My step dad had no respect for boundaries. He would walk around in underwear all the time, he would come into the bathroom with me while I would shower. He was very adamant that our shower curtain have a see through part. He would make weird comments like “you know you think I’m sexy” and just weird shit like that. I had friends that weren’t allowed to come over because of his behavior.
He also started to be physically, verbally and mentally abusive to me and my brother as well. More so me. He would often slap me, I’ve been pushed around by him, he’s thrown things at me and pulled my hair. Would chastise me for how much I ate, even though I was a normal weight. It was a lot.
Anyways. Moving onto my mom. She would often treat us as her burden. She was a couch mom. Nothing was really more important to her than watching tv. She was never very affectionate or loving. My dad tells me that was a big problem he had in their relationship. But yeah, she would often discount my feelings. She would say that I was dramatic, that I was making a bigger deal of things than it was and I needed to get over myself. This made it hard to trust my gut. If my feelings were always dramatic, then I was just dramatic and my feelings were never valid. Right? 🙄She told me that she would choose her husband over me every time because I’ll grow up and leave her but he never will.
So not great lol. I could go on and on but it would turn into a novel. I want to make it clear I was never SA’ed by stepdad, but by other family members. When I told my mom, she told me she failed me as a mother, and that was it.
I would also like to mention my dad was a good dad, but not very present. My child mind didn’t feel comfortable telling him what was going on. I was scared he would do something crazy and go to jail. Silly, I know, but he was my escape. In adulthood, we’ve had long conversations about how his absence affected me, and he has a lot of regrets. It was honestly a really healing conversation, and it was needed. It helped me let go of some things in my childhood, and it was very freeing.
I wanted to do the same with my mom. She was going through a really hard time with my grandpa, he has a lot of health issues. I decided I would wait until those issues were resolved before attempting, but it didn’t work out that way.
We were what I would say is close before this happened. We would talk on the phone almost every day, but if I didn’t call her, we wouldn’t talk. It was very surface level, and never really felt genuine. I’ve never been fond of my stepdad, and she knew that. They have helped me a lot in adulthood, and I’ve often felt indebted to them, and guilty for having any negative feelings about them.
So I mentioned before I’m pregnant with my third child. After talking through this with some people close to me, I decided I wasn’t comfortable with my kids spending unsupervised time with my mom or stepdad. My mom because she lets her husband do whatever and I don’t trust her to advocate for my children. Stepdad has made some offhand comments about my daughter. He’s called her sexy when she was an infant. Red flags galore. I again, was told I’m just dramatic. He’s called my son names for having any type of emotion, and made fun of him. Other people have witnessed these things happen. I’ve always been very open with my children about bodies and bodily autonomy, so I’m confident that they’ve never been hurt in that way. However, I have let them go stay with my mom for years. Again, I felt like I was just being crazy, my feelings weren’t valid.
I know now that I’m not crazy. I know my uncomfortable feelings are valid. She had been asking me when they could keep the kids. I had been avoiding the question with “oh, I’m not sure; let me check my calendar, things are so crazy right now” etc. because again, I know she’s not in a great place with my grandpas health issues.
One day she cornered me in conversation. She told me she knew something was wrong because I wouldn’t let her keep the kids. I hadn’t really thought much about how to approach this topic with her. She had recently helped my in a big way, and I was worried about that help being ripped away, because she’s done that before. The “I’ll help you but it’s heavily conditional” kind of help.
I asked her if she was capable of having a pretty serious conversation that she may not really like right now. She said yes. I told her how I felt. I was very calm, I didn’t attack her or try to make her feel bad. Just my honest feelings. She responded so negatively.
She told me that if she and SD were awful and not allowed around the kids, just say that. I had calmly told her it wasn’t like that, that I just wanted to end overnight visits right now. She told me if she can’t keep them overnight, she couldn’t see them at all. She just went off. Telling her I’m taking the one light in her life right now (she has like 10 other grandkids, but okay. mine have always been favored, and that’s a whole other problem in and of itself) and that I’ve broken her. I brought up her other grandchildren, I brought up that I don’t hate her, I just wanted to try and get past some things that I feel are holding me back from my childhood. It has only gotten worse.
They showed up at my house unannounced like a week after this conversation, and acted like everything was just normal and okay. I told them absolutely not, that I wouldn’t be sweeping anything under the rug like we did my whole childhood, and I wasn’t comfortable with how they were acting. They threatened to rescind the help I mentioned earlier. Which is there right. They told me they would never help me again, that’s okay, I understand. They showed up to my house AGAIN within five minutes of letting us know, and I just told them not to show up unannounced again.
She’s said some really awful things about me to my brothers, and that’s okay. She’s called me names to my partner, as he’s the one that deals with her when she pops up in our lives. My step dad said he’s distancing from all the grandchildren so no one can every rip what he cares about away from him again 🙄
Today, my step dad’s father died. My SIL called to let me know. Lo and behold, my mother texts me and tells me to call her. Partner is at work, asks if I want him to handle it. I tell him it’s no biggie, I can.
I call her to let her know I was given the news, and to give step dad my condolences. Both were very emotionless on the phone, his death was expected as he was on hospice. But she goes on to let me know I have mail at her house, and she was going to bring it to me but I’m no longer a priority to her. Lol, cool. Thanks for the update.
Anyways, again, I know this is so long. I was talking to SIL and my dad about it today, and they think it’s insane this has gone on as long as it has. I don’t even think I want to reconcile at this point. She refuses to take accountability for any of her emotions and just keeps telling me and everyone else that I broke her. My grandma called me and told me she’s worried and thinks my mom’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I fail to see how that’s my problem.
Parts of me do still feel guilty for feeling this way. I don’t know what to do other than to go continue to go no contact. I’ll be moving soon, and don’t plan to give her my new address. I’m just over it at this point and I guess I needed to vent. Or get validation from strangers on the internet. Idk.
TLDR; am I wrong for going no contact with my mom for refusing to take accountability for awful past actions?

Trigger warning: mentions of abuse, SA and death
This is going to be long. I’ll try to do a TLDR at the bottom. I just feel a little insane and I guess I need some validation.
So my(26f) mom(46f) and I have recently gone no contact. I guess it’s my fault but I didn’t intend for it to go that way. I’m currently pregnant with my third child.
I’m in a relationship that has been so healing for the both of us. We both grew up in pretty neglectful/abusive households, and are both working on trying to be better and kill our toxic traits. This involves a lot for me of diving into why I am the way I am, and that takes me back to my childhood.
So my parents split up right before I started kindergarten. I guess that same year. My dad(now 53) was still an active father. Not as much as he should have been, he moved about an hour away, but he called every day. My brother and I spend every other weekend, summers and school breaks.
My mom was always pretty bitter about the split. We moved in with my grandma, and my mom started going out and partying. She had a few different boyfriends, but she didn’t find one that stuck until I was about 7-8. He (now 49) seemed okay at first. But it didn’t take long for his true side to come out.
He had a son a bit older than me by a couple years. He hated me and my brother and my mom. My step dad was extremely abusive to him. Very verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. I don’t know about sexually, but I have my suspicions someone was sexually abusive to him.
Fast forward about a year, me and my brother go to my dad’s house for a summer, we come back and my mom is married to this guy. They’ve bought a house. We all move in together.
My step dad had no respect for boundaries. He would walk around in underwear all the time, he would come into the bathroom with me while I would shower. He was very adamant that our shower curtain have a see through part. He would make weird comments like “you know you think I’m sexy” and just weird shit like that. I had friends that weren’t allowed to come over because of his behavior.
He also started to be physically, verbally and mentally abusive to me and my brother as well. More so me. He would often slap me, I’ve been pushed around by him, he’s thrown things at me and pulled my hair. Would chastise me for how much I ate, even though I was a normal weight. It was a lot.
Anyways. Moving onto my mom. She would often treat us as her burden. She was a couch mom. Nothing was really more important to her than watching tv. She was never very affectionate or loving. My dad tells me that was a big problem he had in their relationship. But yeah, she would often discount my feelings. She would say that I was dramatic, that I was making a bigger deal of things than it was and I needed to get over myself. This made it hard to trust my gut. If my feelings were always dramatic, then I was just dramatic and my feelings were never valid. Right? 🙄She told me that she would choose her husband over me every time because I’ll grow up and leave her but he never will.
So not great lol. I could go on and on but it would turn into a novel. I want to make it clear I was never SA’ed by stepdad, but by other family members. When I told my mom, she told me she failed me as a mother, and that was it.
I would also like to mention my dad was a good dad, but not very present. My child mind didn’t feel comfortable telling him what was going on. I was scared he would do something crazy and go to jail. Silly, I know, but he was my escape. In adulthood, we’ve had long conversations about how his absence affected me, and he has a lot of regrets. It was honestly a really healing conversation, and it was needed. It helped me let go of some things in my childhood, and it was very freeing.
I wanted to do the same with my mom. She was going through a really hard time with my grandpa, he has a lot of health issues. I decided I would wait until those issues were resolved before attempting, but it didn’t work out that way.
We were what I would say is close before this happened. We would talk on the phone almost every day, but if I didn’t call her, we wouldn’t talk. It was very surface level, and never really felt genuine. I’ve never been fond of my stepdad, and she knew that. They have helped me a lot in adulthood, and I’ve often felt indebted to them, and guilty for having any negative feelings about them.
So I mentioned before I’m pregnant with my third child. After talking through this with some people close to me, I decided I wasn’t comfortable with my kids spending unsupervised time with my mom or stepdad. My mom because she lets her husband do whatever and I don’t trust her to advocate for my children. Stepdad has made some offhand comments about my daughter. He’s called her sexy when she was an infant. Red flags galore. I again, was told I’m just dramatic. He’s called my son names for having any type of emotion, and made fun of him. Other people have witnessed these things happen. I’ve always been very open with my children about bodies and bodily autonomy, so I’m confident that they’ve never been hurt in that way. However, I have let them go stay with my mom for years. Again, I felt like I was just being crazy, my feelings weren’t valid.
I know now that I’m not crazy. I know my uncomfortable feelings are valid. She had been asking me when they could keep the kids. I had been avoiding the question with “oh, I’m not sure; let me check my calendar, things are so crazy right now” etc. because again, I know she’s not in a great place with my grandpas health issues.
One day she cornered me in conversation. She told me she knew something was wrong because I wouldn’t let her keep the kids. I hadn’t really thought much about how to approach this topic with her. She had recently helped my in a big way, and I was worried about that help being ripped away, because she’s done that before. The “I’ll help you but it’s heavily conditional” kind of help.
I asked her if she was capable of having a pretty serious conversation that she may not really like right now. She said yes. I told her how I felt. I was very calm, I didn’t attack her or try to make her feel bad. Just my honest feelings. She responded so negatively.
She told me that if she and SD were awful and not allowed around the kids, just say that. I had calmly told her it wasn’t like that, that I just wanted to end overnight visits right now. She told me if she can’t keep them overnight, she couldn’t see them at all. She just went off. Telling her I’m taking the one light in her life right now (she has like 10 other grandkids, but okay. mine have always been favored, and that’s a whole other problem in and of itself) and that I’ve broken her. I brought up her other grandchildren, I brought up that I don’t hate her, I just wanted to try and get past some things that I feel are holding me back from my childhood. It has only gotten worse.
They showed up at my house unannounced like a week after this conversation, and acted like everything was just normal and okay. I told them absolutely not, that I wouldn’t be sweeping anything under the rug like we did my whole childhood, and I wasn’t comfortable with how they were acting. They threatened to rescind the help I mentioned earlier. Which is there right. They told me they would never help me again, that’s okay, I understand. They showed up to my house AGAIN within five minutes of letting us know, and I just told them not to show up unannounced again.
She’s said some really awful things about me to my brothers, and that’s okay. She’s called me names to my partner, as he’s the one that deals with her when she pops up in our lives. My step dad said he’s distancing from all the grandchildren so no one can every rip what he cares about away from him again 🙄
Today, my step dad’s father died. My SIL called to let me know. Lo and behold, my mother texts me and tells me to call her. Partner is at work, asks if I want him to handle it. I tell him it’s no biggie, I can.
I call her to let her know I was given the news, and to give step dad my condolences. Both were very emotionless on the phone, his death was expected as he was on hospice. But she goes on to let me know I have mail at her house, and she was going to bring it to me but I’m no longer a priority to her. Lol, cool. Thanks for the update.
Anyways, again, I know this is so long. I was talking to SIL and my dad about it today, and they think it’s insane this has gone on as long as it has. I don’t even think I want to reconcile at this point. She refuses to take accountability for any of her emotions and just keeps telling me and everyone else that I broke her. My grandma called me and told me she’s worried and thinks my mom’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I fail to see how that’s my problem.
Parts of me do still feel guilty for feeling this way. I don’t know what to do other than to go continue to go no contact. I’ll be moving soon, and don’t plan to give her my new address. I’m just over it at this point and I guess I needed to vent. Or get validation from strangers on the internet. Idk.
TLDR; am I wrong for going no contact with my mom for refusing to take accountability for awful past actions?

This poem is INSANE.
SOME VERY POPULAR SONGS
for example cows beneath the moon, peaceful souls, ruminating, Buddha-guts in the high grass, hidden between small trees and
clumps of brush in the constant greenness, a practical black-and-white- spotted metaphysics, tormented by summer flies which stick to their
saliva. The space hangs inside their eyes like a gong, which beckons to the slaughterhouse. Or a blue rain barrel in the south, where
the sky is an endless continuation of blue, hallucinated spaces during the day, but real. The tricks of the Rolling Stones are over.
I listen to Leonard Cohen singing, there is a war between the men and the women, why don’t you come on back to the war, it’s just be-
ginning. Various grasses grow along the edges, enchanted green. The grass is moved, moves itself, and all the years came, like
always, one after the other: good- bye, fast cloud, goodbye blue sky in the window frames, good- bye, dried grass,
naked in the first twilight, goodbye. A wet barbed wire fence stands there, crooked posts, goodbye, suburbs, as though
no one lives there, fragments of biographies and newspapers, the senseless waving. Some lines are like the waving of children from a
train window while passing through strange cities in the afternoon, passing the rows of low-rent apartments with the single faces at the windows:
if all the confessions in the world that were ever given and written down in the courts of the world were put together and
dragged by one after the other, what an endless misery it would be to be in the world. Someone calls, dials any old
number, and I hear only their breath, and there again is the distance, the soft crackling noise of the
confusion in another place, and otherwise nothing there in the afternoon. And in the morning, when you get up and stare at the hotel
breakfast and you don’t understand why you’re in this hotel room, where you actually are, and you think about what you can do at eight in the morning
after an almost sleepless night, and nothing else comes to mind except to take the three dirty shirts to the laundry, having already
showered at seven, do you embrace the morning light at nine? Or do you say, goodbye, morning light? And then you hear the rush
of a flushing toilet while you walk along a long hallway and what do you feel then? That everything is in order? At ten someone calls and
talks about death, and you make a joke about the film projectionist with cancer who’s been with the company for 25 years, and whoever else is in the room
laughs as well. Who goes through the rooms, unfamiliar, and remembers the lines from the song: Green leaves, how are you alone? What sort of damned lonely
business letters are being written. The signatures don’t matter at all. And you sing your song, “Lady, I’m out of here!” That also belongs to the popular
songs. The peaceful Buddha-souls lie spotted black-and-white in the greenness. They chew beneath the same light the soft green grass again.

1. (for H.S.)

Where the ruble disintegrates into single kopecks, or the dollar into cents, or the D-mark into pfennigs like guilders, where the lira disintegrates
like the franc into centimes and the English pound into the cheap tobacco of Spanish coins, where the ostmark breaks into eye-wrinkles and a
tractor stands in the candlelight, where the Swedish öre disintegrates into insurance like world empires, where the sturgeon dies in the rivers and the herring
in the North Sea, where the distances between the cities grow like the disintegration among the single cities, where the yen is changed into the cruzeiro,
where too much is invested in soap, where the Bulgarian tin cans are converted into Argentinean bank drafts, disintegrating like the Finnish
currency, where forests are rafted down the rivers, where bone meal becomes plastic, where sums are copied, where the geese become zlotys
and are frozen in black aspic, where the dinar drives the camel, the corn rots in the fields, decaying like teeth which will be exchanged, where the
peso dies miserably, the black underwear rises, disintegrating like revenue stamps into whichever sort of coins the faces may disintegrate, into whatever bodily needs, piss, dirt paths, rest
rooms and bed sheets, where the army is financing the study of poetry, where the technical institutes explain the world, the twitching heart of a turtle
hanging from a thread for all to see, where the licenses set the limits, decomposing into animal-pictures, where signatures are needed, testaments, accounts, where the bank
holidays are there for a sigh of relief, to hang out the flags and decorate the day, where the carbide stank, where the bottles burst, where the rubble lay strewn and the tattoos,
the companies proliferate like the mass media, the chunks of stone and rubble have been cleared aside, the pain and the sorrow sold off, decomposed into monthly wages,
where there is still something to do, the specter of unemployment drives them together, the ghosts of the owners, the ghosts of the employees, where all of them are busy
administering this world, or what they consider to be this world, traps, driven together in the offices, but the offices disintegrate, where the rooms have many doors and glass
walls, the elevator shafts disintegrate, the arcades disintegrate, smashed store windows, mold spores, wild vegetation, in between store-window
mannequins, rats scurrying through long ruined arcades, rats in the pale empty corridors of the skyscrapers, where the last cripples are still being
driven together, everyone driven together to administrate this world, these walls, cyclone fences, entrances, the class- rooms like ruined swimming pools,
like signatures which disintegrate, where nights the children scream in the apartment towers, dismally bound to the silence, where the children throw up
their baby food again, where the bodies lie next to each other in the darkness and masturbate in order to go to sleep, finally exhausted and empty, decomposing
like the face of a television announcer in the half-insane dream, who makes new announcements in different voices like on scratched records, disintegrating
like shillings, where the twisted pain becomes jokes in a dialect, applauded by the ranks, where the ranks finally disintegrate, where a radio announcer
pulls her tampon out of the hairy hole between her legs on the toilet in the office of the National Public Radio during a pause in which poems are read, where the
Sundays are endless, decayed like sick lungs, where it is said, that is not your face, that is not your face, where the coins disintegrate into faces, old
faces, dead faces, grieved and hideous on the banknotes which disintegrate, where we go, simple daylight sparkles in the rain puddles, sparkles in the
dripping trees, pleasure, the astonishment of the eyes, when you laughed as you saw your trailer, the beautiful laughter of a total lack of understanding as you opened
the car door, where the checks corroded the surroundings, paper disintegrated into nickel, decayed like a currency made from black dream-slag, which crumbles at the
next touch, where a woman has no other chance than forward through the bushes, like Bolivar disintegrating into centimos, where maybe you’re in a dream,
it’s time that we tell each other more stories, where one doesn’t stand with their back to the wall, but rather in an open door, in the daylight, which doesn’t disintegrate like the
wavy plateau with the lethargic chicken hawks circling above, quiet black movements, clear in the air, where the sky no longer fits in the picture and together with the clouds
passes by in the window. Who’s calling through the frozen forests? Who’s wandering through the snowed-in halls? Who’s freezing and huddled together in the endless
transfer station, where the rupees disintegrate, changed into dirhams, faces upon them, theories of probability, dog bones, death a white apparition in a
white invisible tent, Jeep tracks with dust clouds trailing behind, death is a dried-up camel skeleton by the wayside, death is a
dead skunk on the highway, death is a dead cat on an empty parking lot, death is the long rows of suits on the chromed
rack in the next men’s department, death is a chopped down tree, where the shadow-shoes lie, worn out, where the houses have no
walls anymore, where the electric lights wander about in the rooms, nuclear decay, multiplication, optical lenses, behind the frost patterns on the window the book is shut
and a face cries, a brain is opened, the exhilaration of a dark, clear winter night is illuminated by constellations and does not fall, where death is a dried-
up river bed, white gravel and the plateaus fly by, you see that, we saw them spread out, the plateaus, flying by white in the headlights,
I went back into the hastily constructed apartment, the dreams continuing, the plateau white, I stared into the aluminum pot, at the rest of the broccoli under the light,
the plateau passing by, white, with the slight indication that we make, where a dirty, rickety claw is a clean hand stroking a mahogany
table, having plundered the many daydreams, now it lies rickety and crooked on the clean surface, where the Luxembourgean francs become Malian
dollars, which disintegrate into Cuban pesos, who is it who shits out money and lets a forest die so that he can appear in the comics, massaged on the beach, he with the mantraps
and self-inflicted gunshots, observed by helicopters, a marked man, who is it who drags their suitcase through the bus station, who is it who drops a coin into the TV automat, who is it who skims the
psychoanalytical journals in order to solve a case, who is it who interprets the world, who is it who interprets the next construction- site fence, who is it who interprets the apartment,
shadows of people burned into the asphalt, stones with human shadows on exhibit, aerial photographs of the landscape allowed for postcard greetings
by the Minister of War, he who allows, believes he has the rights for fencing in, where the piastres are scrap, poetry is not a waiting room where one stays overnight, tired,
behind a newspaper opened to the swarming masses of war, every word is war, scrap-words like death, driven together in herds, without differences,
should I have slept with your wife, should I have had more magazines, should I have used the dish- washer, should I have followed the movie
posters, filigree-gray hypothetical questions, tendrils, cement ornamentation, where the dreams die off like plateaus, a canister on the shark, the daily view out the
window into this side street, which you don’t know, where the dollar disintegrates into kopecks and the ruble into cents, where pesetas are wrung from the bones,
but the pleasure is greater than the sorrow, the drachma is smaller than the lust, reduced to a hundred lepta, which disappear at the next opportunity,
where the Turkish pounds are extracted from the tendons, decayed, decayed in the buildings of the 19th & 20th centuries in West Germany, extensions, bills, obligations, everything
the same, pawned off, worn out, trashed, pawned off again on television, from the serial, from the jukebox. Gentle face, in the middle of the crowd you’ve seen
the twitching body, suddenly the concert was over, did you stammer, did you cry, where the corridors are cement, where the speaker boxes boomed, where the faces
broke into dream-wrinkles, where the city maps have white spots, where the color white in no way means death, where the dog fur fails to warm, where the ways end, Ivory Coast is a
fantastic name, tattoos, scars, moving in, moving out, many thanks.

1. (History)

Last night I was thinking about the love story of Adolf Hitler. I saw the permanent waves in the hair of Eva Braun. How many German women
today look like the smile of Eva Braun. The photos reproduce themselves. I was not, I know, born in a photograph. Snow fell in April,
as I was born, shrouded in the ornamental cloth of the baptism ritual. The war, I don’t understand what that is, which language is where? Eva Braun
smiled at Adolf Hitler, that was in Berlin. What did Adolf Hitler first say to Eva Braun? Which distances exist between the permanent waves on the
photo and the old fashioned curling iron for permanent waves which I saw later on a windowsill? As I slept in the Academy of Art in Berlin, I thought about
this curling iron for permanent waves. The photo was a memory which I looked at. Twenty years later I looked at a fat face in the daily
paper, which drank ersatz coffee in a Berlin hotel from a hotel coffee cup, the title was Professor, the title was not to be identi- fied. Eva Braun, was your neck shaved?
Eva Braun, what did you think about the Sarotti chocolates? Adolf Hitler, as you went through Munich with your Pelikan watercolors, what did you see? The Sütterlin script ruined the
handwriting. From the handwriting I was supposed to learn. Adolf Hitler skimmed over the city maps. Eva Braun looked in the crystal mirror at her cunt. Which size
did your thighs have, Eva Braun? I know girls who look exactly like the Eva Braun who looks like Eva Braun in the photo. I grew up, considered my pubic hairs, considered
nipples, considered the reeds, years later I considered the picture of Eva Braun. In the same month a breast of the wife of the American president would be
cut off, in another historical photo old men polished their assholes on brocade-lined armchairs after the conference, the southern afternoon is full of
junk, dust, crumbling constructions. What was with the intestinal worms which Adolf Hitler’s German shepherd had? What was with Eva Braun? A storybook story which one suppressed
like years later the interpretations, ended. Half of Austria arrived in a train, kissed Eva Braun’s hand, looked at her tits, sealed with permanent waves. Adolf Hitler
passed out postcards. I saw my mother in a photo in a long row sitting and laughing, I saw my father in a photo going along a tree-lined avenue,
naive in uniform like an avenue tree, what were they playing as they were photographed? I saw the creases in the pants of Adolf Hitler in a photo, I saw, four years
old, a dark train station passing by in 1944, I saw an enameled sign with blue and yellow wool and knitting needles on the red brick wall of a train station,
Eva Braun, did Adolf Hitler tenderly stroke your pussy with his tongue? Adolf Hitler, did Eva tenderly suck your cock? Or was that taboo thanks to
the state and politics? Come stains on the winter coat, a couple of generals in the toilet, they drew battle plans on the shitty wall, named names, heights, deployments,
Eva Braun, what did you feel when you got the capsule? Did you simply think you’d had your chance? Did you think, now I’ve had it? And the teeth of the German shepherd
fell out of his jaw after the strong injection. The orgasm of death is cheaper than the orgasm of life, although it’s questionable whether the orgasm of death isn’t simply pent up
life that explodes. Why isn’t life in the multitudes every day? Why permanent waves, Eva Braun? Why are you smiling, Eva Braun? Why
do you take cough syrup, Eva Braun? Didn’t Adolf Hitler know that the Austrian psychoanalysis, lying in the sentences, lies? I was never at the river Inn, also
have no desire to look at the water, also have no desire to look at the water in Cologne, dead water, full of dead fish and plants, dead water, which they fought over, borders,
coals, fires for the industry, furnaces, embers in the night, dancing figures before the open fires of the industrial complexes, no holy saint swims in these dead waters, no holy saint spits
out the apartment window, the crude passing through is better than taking pills, the patents, Eva Braun, how was it for you under the shower, German charcoal, flamingo flowers, Spanish irises
and pails? Adolf Hitler in a nightshirt, in the cement, under the earth’s surface, sparkle of nerves, dancing over the files, he dreamed madly in the cement bunker,
supposedly never hit anyone personally, he had others enough to do his hitting, there are always others who sign, hit, hang, indeed there are
always others, employees, secretaries, office boys, insanity, Eva Braun, you straw puppet, smoke, cyanide, trace elements, signatures, which suddenly become single living
persons, things, the shabby things, they’re standing in the room. Did Adolf Hitler stand before you in the room with a stiff cock, Eva Braun? Who washed your bra, Eva Braun? Did you think about
Persil laundry soap? World history in the form of industrial comics, Eva Braun, a lace dress in the large hall, among the human voices, shoulders lifted high, did you see them? What’s with
the dyed hair? What’s with that old high German? What’s with the fossilized love stories? Word-ghosts, dirty bastards of history, stumbling through the rhymes,
between the film-shadows of Berlin, shadow gestures, projection-screen-shadows, shadow-screams, collapsing shadows, later accompanied by a soundtrack, synchronised
lip movements, Eva Braun, in which magazines were you reading? I have to remember: my mother loved airplanes and ghosts, which reappeared, phantoms, she dreamed of them,
even before she cooked for the men at the airfield, in her odd French, my father borrowed a car in his school-English, the top rolled back, they
stopped in the countryside, they fucked at the edge of a warm yellow wheat field in July. My mother loved cheap paperbacks, she looked to see if the seam in her stockings was straight, she went
across the meadow in a silky shimmering dress. The father-in-law left his library to the state of Israel for a sentimental reason, and what happened before, that these forms
developed, more sentimental than the memory of house-corners and street names? More sentimental than permanent waves in a photo? I have to remember the pale suburban settlement, I
have to think about the truck that suddenly stopped in front of the house, packed with people and their belongings, billets to make the foreignness even foreigner, checked off
the lists, bedpans, briefcases, pomaded and parted, they had nothing, owned the in- sanity of never-owned imaginary goods, if they spoke, from where they came, the biographies ruined
by dead Austria, old myths, fallow fields, the opposite is not the industry, the oppo- site disappears in the old photos, in which history disintegrated all around, Eva Braun, opaque
window glass, portals, coma in a Swedish hotel room, shots in the leg above the stocking garter. Now the computers are tossing bones in the air, Stanley Kubrick, the film trick
is revealed, despite four-channel-stereo in the red-plush cinemas of Soho, where I am one rainy evening, walking through London alone, quiet, collected, in the light gray, windy
February evening, decaying London, elegiac West End streets, elegiac advertisements, elegiac theater buildings and striptease clubs, elegiac filthy book stores under aged,
murky dust, rusted leaky water pipes along the house fronts, a senselessly ringing alarm on a house wall, dismally yellowed paint, entrances with the names of bodily flesh,
which for a few moments can be bought, contact between a lonely cock and a cold cunt before the weak gas heater of the rented room, miserable and lost in the
maze of numbers, bleak and frozen in the money. Eva Braun, who wrote you postcards? Eva Braun, have you ever stood freezing in Piccadilly? Eva Braun, what did you say in the moment
when that photo was taken? After the movie I crawl shivering under the thin blanket of a cheap hotel in Bayswater, Odeon station, the monster quarter of London, crumbling courtyards, buried
bodies, the gas-fired fireplace doesn’t heat, the wallpaper is stained, I read a few more poems by Frank O’Hara and W.C. Williams, I drink the rest of some cold coffee out of
the paper cup that stands on the marble mantle over the fireplace, I’m alone in these American poems and see myself in them in the middle of this London night, yellow fog lights along the
streets, Victorian monster-columns and portals the whole street long, windows patched with cardboard, curtain-scraps, and suddenly, in the silence, completely crazy, I remember the call sign
of the BBC radio one morning during the war. I remember the after-the-war-chocolate of the English soldiers, blue plums on a cart, which was being pushed through a courtyard,
Strauss waltzes, a dark movie theater and war. A bone tossed in the air, a killer’s tool on the white screen of the memory, a flickering shadow, hidden behind ornamental flowers,
together with the shadow-noises from the stereo speakers is nothing but a shadow in the eerie, insane ballroom of Death, which is the air, Death blows bubbles in the air, it’s much better to relax
peacefully with a liverwurst sandwich during the lunch break, better to eat the plums out of the icebox without saying you’re sorry, better to drink cold coffee from a paper cup
in a hotel room at night, better than moving pictures, aerial photographs, Eva Braun, I’m thinking here in this Cologne night, stuffy and dismal, while I look at a photo, which tells of the love
story, kitschy and hand-colored, Eva Braun, little monster among the decor, smiling stupid and sad in the photo, and before the photo was taken,
really. The eyebrows are touched up, your mouth is open, lipstick on the lips, are the stocking seams straight? Are you wearing a flowered dress? Has someone
messed up your hair? What’s with the accent? Did someone give you a horny look, your slightly fat baby face? Have you forgotten your cunt? Did your cunt dry up out of fear as the war began?
Berlin sky, as I flew in with a Pan Am plane, I first saw a cemetery between the houses, the gentlemen laid their newspapers on the empty seats,
the taxi driver swore about the passers-by as the lights went on. In the subway hall someone held their bloody, dripping face between their hands and turned toward the tiled wall
as the automatic doors slammed shut. Did you mend your stockings with Güterman’s silk thread? How did you look in a swimsuit? Did you shave your armpits?
Shaved armpits always look like soap and deodorant, stubbly and slick. Fantasy has taken over the industry with its employees.
Did you eat a liverwurst sandwich? Did the liverwurst sandwich taste good? Did Adolf Hitler have sweaty feet? Did he kiss your hand? Did he talk in his sleep? What did you take
against the headaches? What did you think as you were chauffeured along the Kurfürstendamm? In the fading shadows of 5 in the morning I sit there between the folded up,
locked up patio chairs and tables, smoke kif in the shadow of the Café Kranzler awning and walk through the tear gas clouds and shards of glass from the shattered storefront windows, the whores
having hastily retreated as the street battle began a few hours ago, then I take the first subway train to the Wannsee, where a couple of swans are rocking between the garbage along the shore, a lifeless pier,
a weak dawn, light gray. What kind of fur coat did you wear? What kind of toothpaste did you use? I tremble in the first dawn in Berlin, take the socks from the radiator,
let down the shades. It’s a pity that you didn’t invent love, Eva Braun. I write this rock ‘n’ roll song about your terrible insanity, Eva Braun. Would you have
liked this song? Would you have sweated as you danced? What did you talk about as you were alone in the cement bunker? Why the color brown? What did the tongue demand? No one loved Adolf Hitler, and that was why he
had to win the war? Did you see the bodies? Did you see the hand-to-hand combat? Did you see the flame-throwers? Did you see the burned faces? Did you see the gas-cripples? Did you
see the killer-virus spores? Did you see the flower-shadows? Did you look out the window? Did you turn off the nightstand lamp? The permanent waves of
order on your head, your fat, bare shoulder, your underwear from the department store, your pierced ear lobe for the jewel, your handkerchief with the mucous, the camellia
between the legs, your ass-shapes in the garter belt, your nipples, will they remain a secret? In the middle of the historical showplaces of the war, the war is a showplace, who even
looks? Is a love story necessary that needs so many questions? Now you’ve disappeared in the historical photo. Now the disguises are going around. Now the story is broken down and over.

1. (D-Train)

: letting the newspaper flutter out the rolled down window, a child’s hand, with the
shreds of paper against it,
the misery (foreign countries), which invests in this country, sits on every furtively glanced-at
street corner, sad, tired faces, without expression, bags under the eyes, lines around the tight-lipped mouth,
a young woman cries from exhaustion in a two-and-a-half room apartment, in the unfolded architecture of geometry, it’s night and the heating pipes are ticking,
Quote: “The most dangerous animal that exists is the architect. He has destroyed more than the war.”
Hair loss following birth, fear on the street, in the middle of the day, if one stands still, surrounded by the multitudes, the absent
glances, waking up, coughing & spitting
in the sink, postponed material circumstances, the delicate bodies pushed up against the walls by the cars, the same rows of suburban streets
all the way into the inner city,
single, running bodies between the
convoys of the auto industry, blurred figures
behind the dirt-flecked security glass windows, smaller than their own bodies in the industrial shells,
the newspaper rips in the headwind,
shreds of paper drift over the narrow gardens along the tracks, kites made of stinky printer’s ink, collages of the daily gradual madness,
frozen swirls of words: brand names,
reptile brains, hate, slander, semantics, the
big families continue on. In the streets the skinny girls’ bodies, bones with a little skin over them, in colorful rags from the second-hand store,
“when the music’s over” between the rain-
faded old advertisements, (neon-light extinguished curiosity to live, calligraphy)
extinguished poetry. The dawns
are damp and impassable, masses of bent-over figures, they disappear in the offices, they go into the stores, they have to go to schools, kindergartens,
their ways of life distinctive between
rows of products and shelves, in the pestilent-light-flicker of the TV at night the faces of the politicians appear and discuss, in the pestilent-light-flicker
of the TV the strange faces appear on the wall of the room: do you remember
“until the end” the dark house entrances, in which we stood together,
do you remember your own kisses in the stairwell, do you remember kisses
at all? (Or what
you felt?) Submerged in the glowing grass along the paths, seen from the open train window, we let the newspaper shreds fly.
Yellow afternoon light reflects in the windows which we pass by, September-yellow
and what kind of country is this,
what kind of thoughts are
thought to the finish here, finally to the end,
the end “the aristocracy
of feelings,” hahahaha, that’s
not to my taste,
if anyone should have anything to do with that at all, IBM-typewriter-feelings and kisses,
I stretch out my feet, how does that one over the other, in this fit together? compartment, the white Converse All
Star basketball shoes, 12 dollars, on the red plastic seat, and once again the piece of newspaper torn for the child at the open
train window: how the words fly (masks),
the fragments, it’s one of those gentle afternoons that we rarely have, light over the pale, monotone cities, soft afternoon light
on the crumbling facades of the suburbs
and tract homes, soft September-afternoon-light
on the faces in the open windows which we pass by, gentle human-faces in September,
the hate of the newspapers rips, flutters as paper in the hand, that cheerful sound in the moving
D-Train: it brings us from the northwest regions of West Germany through the zones of industry and profit,
dead, abandoned winding-towers, black wheels in the air, slag heaps, dead roads, black, sooty steam locomotives on a dead
track, rusted railway lines
& dust-coated Scotch broom along the embankment, do you really remember your own kisses?
And when the West (“Oh to be out of here, German industry here where everything went collapses? as wished except for the new”)
“Here in this land I live!”: do you really live? (“To be far away and in a foreign No, not this country.” E.P.) sensation.
Until now this was a foreign country, wherever you look,
Memory: I hear the shaky The chestnut voice of the poet on a record tree in the in an apartment, evening, lightless sinister hallways narrow courtyard, and without voices, maybe 60 names on the nameplate in the entryway still-standing by the glass door, locked early, elevators, the stairwell light out, a red glowing light switch at the end of the hall, the calendar and then in the midst of the lifelessness picture television film sounds behind a door on a as I walk along there / the voice of the office wall, poet stuttering in on a Sunday morning, and sun now, after the hallways, in this blinds, West German apartment years later suddenly again)
Prone Venus and Coca Cola 1974, verbs in a continuous chronology, “this Coca Cola of the entire world”
why do you want to speak nicely?
“Must we be idiots and dream in the partial obscurities of a dubious mood in order to be poets?“ (W.C.W.)
Burned out in a beautiful September light, the personal economy: a total disaster,
is the economy a personal feeling? Contradictions because I speak, contradictions because I think
about it: notes in the newspaper margin, being torn to shreds. The few friends scattered about the suburbs, the new friends strewn singly across the country-
side. Different voices, different biographies,
deviations, “good so.”
Discussion: Where everything is forced to connect…
What did you feel as you touched the naked body with your lips, what did you
feel in the middle of the trashed
landscape, word-gods, side-street-sex, under the arranged machines? Let me remember, you say, let me remember, leave me
alone, you say, leave me, gentle face
in a soft September light, like now: answer softly
answer, “in the midst of the daily plundering, or?”
Like the faces in the open afternoon-windows don’t answer. There is a sheet-metal field, dented,
“valse d’autumn” or how such a feeling is called,
not the clarity of looking out a D-Train window, gentle, gentle rhythm here now,
let me, let me remember, you say. Small train stations appear and remain behind,
meaningless structures, : remain behind? meaningless stops : meaningless?
yellow-red fire in a scrap yard,
gentle, gentle woods, last remains of forests in which the thin morning fog still hangs, traces of dampness, not
bent over, small peaceful ponds, forgotten
at the edge of an estate (:“we’re coming back,” in that house, we’re coming home, home?) for the eyes a fugitive rest, from the train window
looking out, the long, slow
even view across this country. There is a hunkered-down green, fantastic green, which passes by, and a child’s hand stretched out the train
window.
Why sadness? All: you gentle
faces in the afternoon light (no faces : you gentle faces between for the coins) the billboards, you gentle
faces in the window frames,
you gentle faces in the September light, you gentle faces of West Germany, tired and sad, you gentle faces, hungry for cunt, cock, tits, hungry for an exotic everyday
life, hungry for a kiss, hungry to feel your own kiss between the walls,
hungry between the advertisements, hungry between the classified ads, hungry between the pictures,
the advertising sales department closes at nine in the evening the movie theaters are darkened, to show a
little more life, the box offices close a quarter-hour after the main feature begins,
the television station broadcasts until shortly after midnight, hungry in the narrow
gardens, hungry for a gentle embrace,
what do you give your selves? What kind of a horror is that, when one stops in the middle of the street, standing among the passers-by,
& each for everyone a passer-by.