Manic client group therapy
Psychotherapy: A Place For Therapists
2011.07.26 23:15 Jchackett Psychotherapy: A Place For Therapists
A community for therapists to connect with and support each other. If you are a therapist who wants access complete our verification form here: https://forms.gle/rGL5Ed7BiSWB6WtD9. If you have questions click on the request to join option or send a message to the moderating team and we get back to you as soon as we can.
2012.11.14 03:17 dpm106 For People with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
Place for people to discuss Avoidant Personality Disorder. Discussion can be about personal stories, treatment ideas, support for yourself or others, and ideas with how to deal with your own problems dealing with AvPD (not to be confused with Avoidant Attachment!)
2009.01.13 08:47 Seizures
A subreddit about medical seizures
2024.05.21 22:59 dj2l1 Socially Awkward at work, I'm 25...
Hi guys,
I dont want to make this long, but I've gotten a dream office job.
Prior to this I was working nights with little interaction and also had office work here and there.
The thing is, I am very socially awkward. I've been socially awkward my whole life, so this is very deeply ingrained into me. I cannot get therapy where I'm from, so I've tried all the self help tips and beliefs, but nothing works. I've tried to look into myself, I hide alot of my true self from people, which means I lack honesty.
At work, I work with normal healthy people, they engage in conversation, sometimes when I meet co-workers I have nothing in common with I don't acknowledge and nervously start touching me face. Whenever someone is speaking to me or I speak in a group I start stuttering and my brain starts freezing. I have a constant fear I'm being judged, and I don't know why this effects me.
I'm 25, it sounds ridiculous as I'm an adult now but I still feel like I'm stuck in the olden days.
submitted by dj2l1 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
I dont want to make this long, but I've gotten a dream office job.
Prior to this I was working nights with little interaction and also had office work here and there.
The thing is, I am very socially awkward. I've been socially awkward my whole life, so this is very deeply ingrained into me. I cannot get therapy where I'm from, so I've tried all the self help tips and beliefs, but nothing works. I've tried to look into myself, I hide alot of my true self from people, which means I lack honesty.
At work, I work with normal healthy people, they engage in conversation, sometimes when I meet co-workers I have nothing in common with I don't acknowledge and nervously start touching me face. Whenever someone is speaking to me or I speak in a group I start stuttering and my brain starts freezing. I have a constant fear I'm being judged, and I don't know why this effects me.
I'm 25, it sounds ridiculous as I'm an adult now but I still feel like I'm stuck in the olden days.
2024.05.21 22:52 CuriousOutLoud Common questions about Non-offending Minor Attracted People (NoMAPs)
There is a severe lack of understanding about this community, including among mental health providers and social workers. Stigma, bias, and misconceptions prevent those who are attracted to minors (but do not offend) from seeking help they may need.
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:
Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”
submitted by CuriousOutLoud to therapists [link] [comments]
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:
- They are worried that they will be unjustly reported, despite having done nothing wrong (this is based on many cases where professionals misunderstand mandatory reporting laws and report someone to the police just for disclosing their attraction)
- They do not want to be judged by the provider (many therapists, social workers, etc. have intensely negative reactions to clients disclosing their attractions and draw inaccurate conclusions about them based on that disclosure)
- They do not believe their own goals will be met (providers often make CSA prevention the main focus, even when this is not the client’s stated goal. This treats clients as if they are “ticking time bombs” and is not person-centered)
- They do not want to be subjected to attempts to “cure” them of their attractions, or to convert them into teleiophiles, which is shown to be ineffective and harmful
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:
- It emphasizes attraction over action. The word ‘pedophile’ has become so conflated with ‘offender’ in every sector of our society, that most people assume a behavioral component when they hear the word. ‘Minor attracted person’, on the other hand, emphasizes that we are talking about those with an attraction, which includes both those who do and those who do not act on it.
- ‘MAP’ is also a more accurate, all-encompassing way to refer to the community as a whole. This includes people with infantophilia, pedophilia, and (ep)hebephilia. It would not make sense, for example, to call someone who is primarily attracted to 15-18 year olds a pedophile.
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:
- Many studies do not account for hebephilia (primary attraction to pubescent children)
- There is usually a focus on men, despite the fact that many MAPs are women
- Some people choose not to disclose their attractions in the first place
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:
- Increased incidence of mental health issues (such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation)
- More difficulty in refraining from offending (for some MAPs; others are not at risk to begin with)
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:
- https://www.b4uact.org/
- https://asapinternational.org/index.php/introduction/about_asapinternational
- https://www.stopitnow.org/
- https://safersociety.org/store/live-online-training-providing-treatment-to-minor-attracted-people/
- https://theglobalpreventionproject.org/maps
Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”
2024.05.21 22:48 VerntheAlpaca Is it time to finally give up on her?
Since I was fourteen I’ve had a horrible relationship with my mom. I am now a 26F and still occasionally have to have therapy to work out what happened between myself and my mom.
For some context up until was fourteen, I was very close to my mom. Who was a wonderful and inspiring woman who did a good job on transforming how diversity policy is implemented in the work place. She actively encouraged my hobbies, took me on trips and was someone I looked up to. On New Year’s Day when I was fourteen, she snapped after three months of personal trauma (My granddad died, she was scammed BADLY by a long time friend) She developed psychosis that went untreated. She turned to religion which became obsessive and later ended with her joining a cult like group. She became very emotionally abusive towards me, and my just yes Dad. My brother avoided it by being away. Healthcare was restricted, negative thinking was banned, I was nearly pulled out of full time education. It ended with my mom having an affair, and me discovering it in unfortunately the most movie esque way possible. She was booted out of the house.
She’s (55F) still with her affair partner (46M) My once loving equality spreading mother in her eight years away has lived in various communes, and caused an international search (to get attention). Yet, I still email her monthly. And our emails for the last year have been very normal, almost like they used to be. But why is it that I can’t be bothered anymore? I’ve done this for a year now but over two months I physically can’t email her anymore. I don’t know if it’s because it’s always me making that first communication. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore, like I think if stop emailing her then I will just never hear from her again. Which upsets me because she was once a just yes mother but just did the biggest 180 I’ve ever experienced in a human. I personally just want advice if it’s worth speaking to her anymore or just seeing if she puts some effort in. More for the sake of the woman who raised me till my teens. My brother hasn’t spoken to her in six months now due to being tired of always putting effort in.
submitted by VerntheAlpaca to EstrangedAdultKids [link] [comments]
For some context up until was fourteen, I was very close to my mom. Who was a wonderful and inspiring woman who did a good job on transforming how diversity policy is implemented in the work place. She actively encouraged my hobbies, took me on trips and was someone I looked up to. On New Year’s Day when I was fourteen, she snapped after three months of personal trauma (My granddad died, she was scammed BADLY by a long time friend) She developed psychosis that went untreated. She turned to religion which became obsessive and later ended with her joining a cult like group. She became very emotionally abusive towards me, and my just yes Dad. My brother avoided it by being away. Healthcare was restricted, negative thinking was banned, I was nearly pulled out of full time education. It ended with my mom having an affair, and me discovering it in unfortunately the most movie esque way possible. She was booted out of the house.
She’s (55F) still with her affair partner (46M) My once loving equality spreading mother in her eight years away has lived in various communes, and caused an international search (to get attention). Yet, I still email her monthly. And our emails for the last year have been very normal, almost like they used to be. But why is it that I can’t be bothered anymore? I’ve done this for a year now but over two months I physically can’t email her anymore. I don’t know if it’s because it’s always me making that first communication. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore, like I think if stop emailing her then I will just never hear from her again. Which upsets me because she was once a just yes mother but just did the biggest 180 I’ve ever experienced in a human. I personally just want advice if it’s worth speaking to her anymore or just seeing if she puts some effort in. More for the sake of the woman who raised me till my teens. My brother hasn’t spoken to her in six months now due to being tired of always putting effort in.
2024.05.21 22:39 Jiynxe Mother in law is gross [qc]
My husbands mother has had an issue initially with bedbugs and hoarding due to illness. while hoarding is an illness in itself we deemed that she simply could not be left alone mentally an need to care for her. we spoke often about how ill she was and both came to an agreement that we must care for her and what better way then get an extra room and simply care for her. shes been living with us for a few years now. and im starting to see her and what her issues are.. she WAS ill at one point but got much much better. i realised that she had issues at one point but she will not help herself in ANYWAY shape or form to the point that she justifies being disgusting. when she lived on her own we tried twice to get her out of a nasty situation. she had a major bedbug infestation in both of her houses. we cleaned out her house and basically got rid of everything but there were still some hanger ons and it infested her second place that we helped her out of....
this second place was next door to us. so we could of been closer. she neglected her dog and made us go out pick up SOME stuff for her. while we had that space she let the dog shit and piss all over the house and never even bathed she would simply buy new things an sit on her ass while trash and shit and piss would build up around her (this was when it was very bad and we decided to take her in) she got out of there which i though was for her own good. she brought in the bed bugs into a few of our homes and they infested our stuff us needing to start over constantly. we even got many exterminators but also costly. we changed to some natural fungus treatment and FINALLY it worked after 3 years of trying to get rid of them.
just this year alone i have a child on the way and its increasingly frustrating that even with a cleaner environment, her getting mental help. getting the proper meds and support i over heard her say to her therapist that she feels unwelcome because of how apparently obsessively clean i am. I am also NESTING and i never really lived in a messy home i dont like it. im not even asking her to clean her own room it is her space but my husband and my step son have tried to clean her room because frankly it does smell to some degree. and theres alot of clutter(way less horrid then what she had but bad nonetheless)
she just orders clothes instead of cleaning them even upon offering to clean her clothes for her. she hoards trash around my house saying she will recycle but she doesnt (beside the recycling bin itself) so i do it for her and she gets angry. she does have incontinence issues so she wears diapers. while she can go to the bathroom on her own she sometimes misses (understandable) but she leaves her dirty diapers on my counter instead of putting them in the trash literally next to the toilet. and leaves feeces and blood on the toilet seat for me to clean. she always makes us buy her things now and horribly unhealthy food all the time and complainss when we sometimes make food for her she doesnt like. (in an attempt to be sure everyone eats what they like we all take executive decisions as a group on what to eat). i feel like were leaving alot of legroom regardless even if we dont like it but its never good enough. this woman refused to eat a pizza because the peperoni was under the cheese..... my husband started getting angry (i always was and i regret this decision)
but i need a more clean home for my baby and i can no longer tend to this woman (aswell as myself and the rest of the familly. my husband has stepped in ALOT and talks to his mom telling her that she needs to for the child but she always gives me these passive aggressive or petty comments. like when i clean she says (my mom used to move furniture around to clean it). or (can you leave the bathroom door open ((so she can breathe but she never had an issue with the window open) i keep it closed to keep the animals out. her cats cant even pee properly so were constantly cleaning the cat litter for this woman. we run errands for her. we setup her appointments for her, we attempt to help her clean her room but she refuses putting everyone else at risk. she gets angry with us for not doing things her way. sometimes me and my husband argue and she says WE bother HER when we argue. to basically stop arguing because it makes HER uncomfortable. after being forgiving for so many years she runs the entire familly bending all of us around her damn fingers for her own convenience. frankly i gave her the benefit of the doubt for a very long time and i just cant take it anymore. even establishing to her that we need her to take care of herself a bit more so we can focus on the end of my pregnancy and when that baby arrives. she still acts like we HAVE to do everything for her. weve asked her to move her own car simple as so that we dont have to pay for tickets... today i just picked a ticket off of her car and she WILL blame my husband for not moving it. we work from home and dont always have the time to do it on time while she has zero responsibilities and NOTHING to do . i was at a point once where i told myself she cant shes sick. but she has no issue going out on her own when she wants to go shopping. she rarely leaves the house but shes perfectly able. i hate to say this but shes flat out LAZY and aa HOARDER simple as and is trying nothing to get better for herself when we directly ask her she gets better for 2 days then she reverts back to slob and (do everything for me go buy me more coke) attitude. i know i shouldnt butt in to the whole therapist thing either but she makes them housecalls instead which means we cant even live in our own house while the therapist is around. and when she sits on the couch.... she then stays there fo DAYS. making my livingroom a mess and TMI but i can SEEEEE her skin sheds ON MY COUCH.
im cleaning 24/7 my husband cares for me and helps me clean and so does his son. and we all contribute. except for her. its a big familly. and when i cant, i ask for help and i get it. BUT i see the stress my husband also undergoes. we have to care for absolutely everyones incompetence with a baby on the way and its extremely stressfull. the LEAST that i want is to keep her own stuff in check but she is completely ignorant.
I need to vent and i frankly want to yell at her and just tell her to wake the fuck up and take care of herself or shes out of my house. but truth is i have still seen my husbands mood improve to some degree knowing his mom is still in a better environment regardless. we cant just kick her out again to be left to her own.
sadly however im starting to think she should just no longer be my business and it should just be me taking care of my house regardless of her being here no matter how anngry or pettty she gets. she completely disagrees with how i handle my house. my relationship. and my familly as a whole. again i dont want to listen in on someones therapy session but the walls are thin. she makes her therapy sessions about how shes uncomfortable and dislikes how I handle MY life decisions and MY kids and MY relationship with my husband.
i love him and she cant even be grateful that we took her in to help. she cant even be grateful that she has a cleaner home to die in. and shes definitely taking advantage of us. when she doesnt need to. Im just TIRED
submitted by Jiynxe to BabyBumpsCanada [link] [comments]
this second place was next door to us. so we could of been closer. she neglected her dog and made us go out pick up SOME stuff for her. while we had that space she let the dog shit and piss all over the house and never even bathed she would simply buy new things an sit on her ass while trash and shit and piss would build up around her (this was when it was very bad and we decided to take her in) she got out of there which i though was for her own good. she brought in the bed bugs into a few of our homes and they infested our stuff us needing to start over constantly. we even got many exterminators but also costly. we changed to some natural fungus treatment and FINALLY it worked after 3 years of trying to get rid of them.
just this year alone i have a child on the way and its increasingly frustrating that even with a cleaner environment, her getting mental help. getting the proper meds and support i over heard her say to her therapist that she feels unwelcome because of how apparently obsessively clean i am. I am also NESTING and i never really lived in a messy home i dont like it. im not even asking her to clean her own room it is her space but my husband and my step son have tried to clean her room because frankly it does smell to some degree. and theres alot of clutter(way less horrid then what she had but bad nonetheless)
she just orders clothes instead of cleaning them even upon offering to clean her clothes for her. she hoards trash around my house saying she will recycle but she doesnt (beside the recycling bin itself) so i do it for her and she gets angry. she does have incontinence issues so she wears diapers. while she can go to the bathroom on her own she sometimes misses (understandable) but she leaves her dirty diapers on my counter instead of putting them in the trash literally next to the toilet. and leaves feeces and blood on the toilet seat for me to clean. she always makes us buy her things now and horribly unhealthy food all the time and complainss when we sometimes make food for her she doesnt like. (in an attempt to be sure everyone eats what they like we all take executive decisions as a group on what to eat). i feel like were leaving alot of legroom regardless even if we dont like it but its never good enough. this woman refused to eat a pizza because the peperoni was under the cheese..... my husband started getting angry (i always was and i regret this decision)
but i need a more clean home for my baby and i can no longer tend to this woman (aswell as myself and the rest of the familly. my husband has stepped in ALOT and talks to his mom telling her that she needs to for the child but she always gives me these passive aggressive or petty comments. like when i clean she says (my mom used to move furniture around to clean it). or (can you leave the bathroom door open ((so she can breathe but she never had an issue with the window open) i keep it closed to keep the animals out. her cats cant even pee properly so were constantly cleaning the cat litter for this woman. we run errands for her. we setup her appointments for her, we attempt to help her clean her room but she refuses putting everyone else at risk. she gets angry with us for not doing things her way. sometimes me and my husband argue and she says WE bother HER when we argue. to basically stop arguing because it makes HER uncomfortable. after being forgiving for so many years she runs the entire familly bending all of us around her damn fingers for her own convenience. frankly i gave her the benefit of the doubt for a very long time and i just cant take it anymore. even establishing to her that we need her to take care of herself a bit more so we can focus on the end of my pregnancy and when that baby arrives. she still acts like we HAVE to do everything for her. weve asked her to move her own car simple as so that we dont have to pay for tickets... today i just picked a ticket off of her car and she WILL blame my husband for not moving it. we work from home and dont always have the time to do it on time while she has zero responsibilities and NOTHING to do . i was at a point once where i told myself she cant shes sick. but she has no issue going out on her own when she wants to go shopping. she rarely leaves the house but shes perfectly able. i hate to say this but shes flat out LAZY and aa HOARDER simple as and is trying nothing to get better for herself when we directly ask her she gets better for 2 days then she reverts back to slob and (do everything for me go buy me more coke) attitude. i know i shouldnt butt in to the whole therapist thing either but she makes them housecalls instead which means we cant even live in our own house while the therapist is around. and when she sits on the couch.... she then stays there fo DAYS. making my livingroom a mess and TMI but i can SEEEEE her skin sheds ON MY COUCH.
im cleaning 24/7 my husband cares for me and helps me clean and so does his son. and we all contribute. except for her. its a big familly. and when i cant, i ask for help and i get it. BUT i see the stress my husband also undergoes. we have to care for absolutely everyones incompetence with a baby on the way and its extremely stressfull. the LEAST that i want is to keep her own stuff in check but she is completely ignorant.
I need to vent and i frankly want to yell at her and just tell her to wake the fuck up and take care of herself or shes out of my house. but truth is i have still seen my husbands mood improve to some degree knowing his mom is still in a better environment regardless. we cant just kick her out again to be left to her own.
sadly however im starting to think she should just no longer be my business and it should just be me taking care of my house regardless of her being here no matter how anngry or pettty she gets. she completely disagrees with how i handle my house. my relationship. and my familly as a whole. again i dont want to listen in on someones therapy session but the walls are thin. she makes her therapy sessions about how shes uncomfortable and dislikes how I handle MY life decisions and MY kids and MY relationship with my husband.
i love him and she cant even be grateful that we took her in to help. she cant even be grateful that she has a cleaner home to die in. and shes definitely taking advantage of us. when she doesnt need to. Im just TIRED
2024.05.21 22:37 Gothiccc_Witch Brainstorming Dx billing codes
Hi there! I’m wanting to start up a group addressing the community increase in social anxiety being experienced by folks with ASD post lock down. However, in my state I cannot bill ASD, and one of the rule outs for Social Anxiety Disorder is ASD. The majority of my clients are autistic and this is a huge problem I’m noticing, however I don’t want to commit insurance fraud. I was thinking GAD might work? I’d really appreciate any input!
submitted by Gothiccc_Witch to TherapistsInTherapy [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 22:30 Queen_of_Audacity My Ex-girlfriend is a Therapist and looked at my Psychiatric Records
 | I entered partial hospitalization for psychiatric reasons. Last Wensday I made unexpected eye contact with an Ex-girlfriend from high-school when I was leaving therapy for the day. Turns out she was a therapist there for another group. The following Friday my next day in treatment I brought it up to staff that she worked there and our former person relationship. I expressed I didn't her to have any access to my file. submitted by Queen_of_Audacity to mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments] Today, I get pulled aside during break. The director of the hospital wanted to talk to me. She told me how my ex looked into my file for 5 minutes. Aided by another staff member. She read my intake form. Which contains the worst parts and challenges of my life. My drug history, medical history including surgeries, mental health summery, med list ect. The hospital terminated employment of my ex and another staff member. They are making policy changes at the hospital. The director of the hospital seems to be taking the write steps to correct the matter. The breach in privacy still excists... |
2024.05.21 22:27 dark5ide New Private Practice Forms and Other Questions
Hello Everyone,
So I am starting a private practice, and would love your help in ensuring I have the proper forms/documentation for my intakes. I have searched around and believe I have what I need, but I always appreciate more insight and info.
To give some context, I am currently virtual only, and I am utilizing Alma, accepting insurance and private pay.
I am looking at various EHRs, with Simple Practice seemingly the most popular, but have also experimented with Sessions Health and Therapy Notes. It's hard to say which works best for me, but I may go with Simple Practice, as I feel it may be better to scale down and pay more up front, than find myself lacking. That said, I'm open to suggestions and tips/info on either using it or others.
My current forms are:
Any help would be appreciated!
submitted by dark5ide to therapists [link] [comments]
So I am starting a private practice, and would love your help in ensuring I have the proper forms/documentation for my intakes. I have searched around and believe I have what I need, but I always appreciate more insight and info.
To give some context, I am currently virtual only, and I am utilizing Alma, accepting insurance and private pay.
I am looking at various EHRs, with Simple Practice seemingly the most popular, but have also experimented with Sessions Health and Therapy Notes. It's hard to say which works best for me, but I may go with Simple Practice, as I feel it may be better to scale down and pay more up front, than find myself lacking. That said, I'm open to suggestions and tips/info on either using it or others.
My current forms are:
- Email/Text Consent
- Telehealth Consent
- Informed Consent for Assessments and Treatment
- Notice of Privacy Policies
- Client Financial Responsibility Agreement
- Practice Policies
- Release of Information (RoI's)
- Credit Card Authorization Form
- Good Faith Estimate
Any help would be appreciated!
2024.05.21 22:21 CuriousOutLoud Common questions about Non-offending Minor Attracted People (NoMAPs)
There is a severe lack of understanding about this community, including among mental health providers and social workers. Stigma, bias, and misconceptions prevent those who are attracted to minors (but do not offend) from seeking help they may need.
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:
Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”
submitted by CuriousOutLoud to u/CuriousOutLoud [link] [comments]
CSA = child sexual abuse
NoMAPs = non-offending, minor attracted people: those who are attracted to children but are committed to not causing harm against them
Many non-offending MAPs do not seek professional support, or may withdraw from support, due to the following reasons:
- They are worried that they will be unjustly reported, despite having done nothing wrong (this is based on many cases where professionals misunderstand mandatory reporting laws and report someone to the police just for disclosing their attraction)
- They do not want to be judged by the provider (many therapists, social workers, etc. have intensely negative reactions to clients disclosing their attractions and draw inaccurate conclusions about them based on that disclosure)
- They do not believe their own goals will be met (providers often make CSA prevention the main focus, even when this is not the client’s stated goal. This treats clients as if they are “ticking time bombs” and is not person-centered)
- They do not want to be subjected to attempts to “cure” them of their attractions, or to convert them into teleiophiles, which is shown to be ineffective and harmful
Common questions
Are you saying child sexual abuse is acceptable?
Absolutely not. Causing harm to children in the form of in-person/online sexual contact; CSAM (sometimes referred to as child pornography); grooming; or any other inappropriate behavior is not and will never be acceptable.
Many people who are attracted to minors are vehemently against these forms of harm as well, and do not support ideas such as lowering the age of consent. There are entire communities of minor attracted people who are committed to not harming children.
Isn’t using the term ‘MAPs’ normalizing pedophilia?
Only a minority of the population experiences a primary attraction to children. In this sense, pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction are not “normal”, in the same way that LBGTQ identities are not “normal” by proportion to the general population.
When people refer to normalizing something, they are usually talking about removing the stigma behind it, or acknowledging that it is acceptable.
Having an unchosen, unchangeable attraction to children is not inherently wrong, immoral, predatory, or pathological. It becomes so only when harm is involved. Attraction itself is not a behavior.
Shouldn’t we be protecting children from MAPs?
We should absolutely protect children from abusers, groomers, and predators. These terms are not synonymous with being minor attracted. In fact, research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia (see “Sources” section below for reference).
When somebody feels they are at risk for harming a child, they should be able to seek immediate and effective help. Some NoMAPs need temporary or ongoing support in remaining resilient against offending, but this does not represent all or even the majority of NoMAPs. Many in this community have no intention of ever harming a child, and they are not at risk for doing so.
It is also important to note that many MAPs are still children themselves. MAPs tend to become aware of their attractions around the time of puberty or early adolescence. Children who are MAPs deserve the same degree of safety and well-being that other children do.
Why is the term ‘MAP’ even used?
This term has become more widely used for two main reasons:
- It emphasizes attraction over action. The word ‘pedophile’ has become so conflated with ‘offender’ in every sector of our society, that most people assume a behavioral component when they hear the word. ‘Minor attracted person’, on the other hand, emphasizes that we are talking about those with an attraction, which includes both those who do and those who do not act on it.
- ‘MAP’ is also a more accurate, all-encompassing way to refer to the community as a whole. This includes people with infantophilia, pedophilia, and (ep)hebephilia. It would not make sense, for example, to call someone who is primarily attracted to 15-18 year olds a pedophile.
Alternatives have also been suggested by those who conduct research with this community, such as ‘child attracted person’ as opposed to ‘minor attracted person’. I use ‘MAP’ here because it is the most widely accepted way to refer to the community as a whole.
What would someone who harms a child be called?
Depending on the context, people who harm children could be called many things—offender, abuser, predator, or groomer, to name a few examples.
Research shows that the majority of child sexual abuse cases are carried out by people who do not meet the criteria for pedophilia. (See “Sources” section below to learn why someone who’s not primarily attracted to children would sexually abuse a child.)
Is pedophilia a mental illness/diagnosis?
It depends. Some MAPs are committed to not offending, are not at risk for offending, and have come to terms with their attraction. These individuals have no reason to be pathologized.
Many others are not at risk for offending, yet they desire professional help for mental health conditions (like depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation) that result from the hatred they receive in our society. These individuals also have no reason to be pathologized, as their mental health conditions result from stigma rather than from the attraction itself.
Some MAPs desire professional help in dealing with the difficult emotions resulting from not being able to have a fulfilling sexual or romantic connection, particularly those who are exclusively attracted to children. (Many MAPs are attracted to both children and adults, and may be in relationships with adults.)
There are also MAPs who desire professional help in remaining resilient against offending. In these cases, and in cases where MAPs do harm children, pedophilia would be considered pathological since there is significant distress and/or harm involved.
Is pedophilia a sexual orientation?
The available research points to pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction being an age-based sexual orientation, in that the attraction is unchosen, typically arises during the time of puberty or early adolescence, and remains fairly constant throughout one’s life.
Are you suggesting that MAPs are part of the LGBTQ+ community?
Age-based orientations are by nature different from gender-based orientations, in that there is no safe or ethical way for an adult to engage sexually or romantically with a child. The experience of MAPs is also vastly different from that of LGBTQ individuals in several ways.
While there are some parallels that can be drawn between studies on stigma among LGBTQ individuals and the experience of stigma among MAPs, these are two separate communities.
Can someone’s attraction to children be changed?
Empirical data, based on qualitative and quantitative studies, points to the fact that pedophilia and other forms of minor attraction cannot be changed or "cured". (See “Sources” section below for reference.)
How many MAPs are there in the world?
Across various studies, the average incidence of minor attraction, meaning those who are primarily attracted to minors, comes out to about 5% of the adult population worldwide. This number is likely an undercount for the following reasons:
- Many studies do not account for hebephilia (primary attraction to pubescent children)
- There is usually a focus on men, despite the fact that many MAPs are women
- Some people choose not to disclose their attractions in the first place
Reducing stigma against NoMAPs contributes to a safer society for all, based around empathy and evidence. Many people do not feel safe disclosing their attraction for fear of being unjustly reported, misunderstood, or physically harmed.
Unfortunately, stories of MAPs being rejected by family members, forced out of educational programs, reported to the police, and made to feel like a monster– even in the absence of any harm to a child— are all too common. This prevents many MAPs from seeking or continuing to receive support, which in turn can lead to:
- Increased incidence of mental health issues (such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation)
- More difficulty in refraining from offending (for some MAPs; others are not at risk to begin with)
Where can I learn more?
There are many resources available to learn about MAPs. These include:
- https://www.b4uact.org/
- https://asapinternational.org/index.php/introduction/about_asapinternational
- https://www.stopitnow.org/
- https://safersociety.org/store/live-online-training-providing-treatment-to-minor-attracted-people/
- https://theglobalpreventionproject.org/maps
Sources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19327034/ "There is no evidence to suggest that pedophilia can be changed. Instead, interventions are designed to increase voluntary control over sexual arousal, reduce sex drive, or teach self-management skills to individuals who are motivated to avoid acting upon their sexual interests"
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32086644/ "The results of this study were consistent with the suggestion of Seto (2012) that pedohebephilia could be considered a form of sexual orientation for age, which includes both sexual and romantic attraction"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8793822/ ..."in line with the current empirical assumption that enduring sexual attractions to children are largely unchangeable (Grundmann et al., 2016; Seto, 2012; for recent debates see Bailey, 2015; Cantor, 2015; Grundmann et al., 2017; Müller et al., 2014; Tozdan & Briken, 2017)"
https://www.csaprimaryprevention.org/supporting-maps.html "The overwhelming opinion in the professional sexual violence prevention community is that helping minor attracted people by offering peeprofessional support is the best way to ensure that minor attracted people do not harm children, and suggest that reducing the stigma against minor attraction will help this endeavor and protect children"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7145785/ "It may be constructive for professionals working with this population to encourage the 'ownership' of the minor-attracted sexual identity, such as to reduce levels of self-stigmatization and increase self-acceptance. In doing so, we argue that we (as professionals, and as a society) can… ultimately, protect children from sexual harm by improving MAP well-being and agency"
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “…less than half of all individuals with child sexual offense convictions meet the clinical criteria for pedophilia (Schmidt et al., 2013; Seto, 2018a)”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/is-there-a-typical-profile-of-someone-who-sexually-abuses-children “Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children”
https://www.stopitnow.org/faq/why-would-an-adult-sexually-abuse-a-child “Some adults sexually abuse a child to feel the power and control they don’t feel in their relationships with other adults… Some adults act impulsively when presented with an unexpected opportunity to sexually abuse a child”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8888496/ “...the more consistent prevalence estimates for minor attraction in a more clinical sense… congregate around 5% (Dombert et al., 2016; Santilla et al., 2010; Wurtele et al., 2014)”
2024.05.21 22:19 TealBonitoFlake Would you let your clients use your personal account for their business?
Hi! I work for a client that specializes in rentals and one of my tasks is to post rentals in their private facebook group. I don’t feel comfortable using my personal account for that purpose but one of his partners insist I use my personal one as that is more established. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what are your tips?
I already told them I don’t feel comfortable using my personal account and offered to use a backup one i have but they have not responded yet.
Update: i was firm and told them i don’t want to use my personal account and they agreed.
submitted by TealBonitoFlake to buhaydigital [link] [comments]
I already told them I don’t feel comfortable using my personal account and offered to use a backup one i have but they have not responded yet.
Update: i was firm and told them i don’t want to use my personal account and they agreed.
2024.05.21 22:13 billijames2 Affordable Junk Removal: How to Get Rid of Clutter Without Breaking the Bank
 | Discover the most cost-effective ways to get rid of junk, including DIY removal, leveraging local bulk pickup services, recycling and donation options, and comparing professional junk removal services, with a focus on the sustainable practices of Junk Under Junk. submitted by billijames2 to BostonLocalBusiness [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/hs3js7597u1d1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cca028a0df783c4aec0de4a559a78f3538e23daf Introduction to Cost-Effective Junk RemovalWhen it comes to managing junk removal in a cost-effective manner, individuals are often seeking affordable solutions to alleviate the financial burden associated with waste disposal. It is crucial to explore options that not only fit within one's budget but also contribute to maintaining clean and sustainable living spaces. The rise of DIY and budget-friendly junk removal methods reflects a growing trend towards practical and economical waste management strategies.For example, imagine a scenario where a homeowner in California needs to dispose of old furniture without spending excessively. By delving into various cost-effective junk removal options, such as recycling, donation, or leveraging local pickup services, individuals can efficiently declutter their space while minimizing expenses. This sets the stage for understanding how cost-effective approaches to junk removal can benefit both individuals and the environment. Cost-effective junk removal options are not only about saving money but also about making a positive impact on the environment. By choosing sustainable methods of waste disposal, individuals can contribute to reducing landfill waste and promoting a cleaner ecosystem. The shift towards affordable and eco-friendly junk removal practices signifies a broader movement towards responsible waste management in today's society. By incorporating sustainability into cost-effective solutions, individuals can achieve a harmonious balance between financial savings and environmental consciousness. Understanding the Costs of Junk Removal ServicesLocal junk removal companies play a significant role in offering upfront pricing and estimates to customers, providing insights into the potential costs involved in waste removal. Additionally, some providers may incentivize cost savings by offering discounts for regular or bulk pickups, making their services more appealing to budget-conscious individuals. The variability in pricing structures for junk removal services emphasizes the importance of comparing quotes and services to identify the most cost-effective option that aligns with one's specific needs.To illustrate, consider a situation where a homeowner needs to clear out a garage filled with bulky items. By obtaining estimates from different junk removal services and understanding the factors that influence pricing, such as the type and volume of items to be removed, individuals can make informed decisions that prioritize both affordability and quality of service. This proactive approach empowers customers to navigate the junk removal process with financial prudence in mind. DIY junk removal not only offers cost-effective solutions but also empowers individuals to take control of their waste management efforts. By utilizing reusable packaging materials and implementing proper planning strategies, individuals can streamline the junk removal process, saving both time and money. 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2024.05.21 22:10 SwanStriking491 He says he isn’t a narc and that I am.
WWYD, Hello all, this is my first post in here so bear with me as it might be long and very detailed. My ex-husband and I have three kids together. I am currently in a relationship and have been for a few years. We live together and it’s a completely different relationship that I’ve ever had. There’s been a lot of me giving in as i did during my marriage. I was a severe people pleaser all my life, caving in to more than i ever should have to too many people. This year has been the first year that I really have stood up for myself when it has come to anyone in my life. It took me 5 years to leave my ex-husband. Our whole relationship was rocky. We, of course did have good times. My parents were split up when i was 3 and they both also had rocky relationships after. Along with that , my dad chose when to be present in my life. Due to all that, I was very committed even though even before our marriage, many people told me to break up with him. We had our first child, two years before we got married. Fast forward to Marriage, 3 kids total, and were currently in marriage counseling. I had already had one foot out the door. One of my breaking points during marriage counseling is him lying to our counselor. That was basically the end of the road for me. My kids were suffering and saw everything going on and it was just time for me to strengthen up. Divorce starts and that was hard enough. I’ll save the headache on that one. He took nothing, but his clothes and he signs a dissolution of divorce because he wanted nothing more to do with me. We figure out custody of the kids, I did not file for child support as i agreed not to due to the amount of money he was making. Due to me having epilepsy and not having my license, He would pick up and drop off the kids at my house. I really tried to have a nice coparenting relationship, caved over so many things and so much more. Fast forward so much has happened between then and now. Everywhere from my kids have been in therapy due to issues that have been caused by him, them being scared at the first place he lived, and so much more. My number one thing I have done is severely work on myself, so much so that after he split, I was able to get my license for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 34. Now, I’ve had my issues too, i am definitely not perfect. I met my boyfriend randomly the same time during my separation and divorce, waited 6 months for my kids to meet him. When my ex found out about him, sometime even before then, my ex would cause issues at pick up and drop off including to using his car to kick up dust on my boyfriends car, stalk my house when he would go out of the way to drive by it at midnight when he didn’t have the kids. Made racist and rude, sexual comments in front of the kids. I caved so much, so much more than I should have. I went to file child support, he gets the papers in the mail, begs me to stop it, so i do. Child custody, same thing. Wow, I didn’t know i would be typing this long, lol, but I have been meaning to post in here ever since I found this group and this seriously feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders since I’m finally posting. I update him on everything about the kids even though each teacher have communication apps and he gets them on Tuesday until 5. He doesn’t have our kids do their homework so they have to do it when they get home, I still do everything for them, of course he used to have to take them to all their appointments, I do give him that when it came to our oldest, he took so much pride in being her dad, but also turned her against me when she was 3, he also does take our youngest to speech. He isn’t in the best financial situation, hell none of us are these days, so I’m really trying to not file child support or child custody, but im at the point where having everything through the courts is going to make everything just ease some anxiety, I can’t be around him without shaking. We’ve been doing better at drop offs and pick ups, we meet half way now, he pays me once a week, a total of 600 a month. I struggle financially. I get less than 1200 on SSDI. Now, My kids absolutely love my boyfriend, he lives with us now. My oldest want to call him dad, but knows her siblings will tell their dad. When I ask him about Child support, He will tell me to have my boyfriend help me pay for things, which when it comes to house bills, he does help, when it comes to the kids though, I really try to make sure I can cover everything. Unless, it’s something at his house, I pay for everything even school items. But the clincher here is, he wants my boyfriend to do nothing with our kids and frankly, i am tired of hearing it. My boyfriend really wanted to try to patch things up with him ( he expressed it would be nice that we all could come together for the kids) since years have gone by, but my ex stated, “I don’t trust you with the kids, and I trust him less.” My boyfriend is really involved in the kids life, including school, but when it comes to school visits for things, he doesn’t go to avoid unnecessary drama. We went to my oldest’s band concert, it was a Tuesday so he had them, I had picked up my daughter to take her to band after she was picked up by him. She called me, he was yelling at her on the phone, cursing at her, after he cursed at her in front of her teacher just minutes before . This was after the 3rd time being over 20 minutes - 1 hour late to pick up our kids. One day he forgot about them. So band concert, My 2nd child wanted to come sit with my boyfriend and I my 3rd stayed with dad. My second has ADHD and OCD and her anxiety is very stressful for her. He told her, “if you go sit with your mom, you have to stay with her.” Well, while that might have been the best idea, although, she has done it all the time with each concert, she started breaking down crying and shaking in anxiety because her dad told her that and she missed her dad and wanted to go sit with him. He just kept staring over at us until our daughter played. When done, never asked why she was crying or if she was okay. Kind of just ignored her which again broke down in the car on the way home. She is extremely sensitive that even though there’s issues with dad, she tries to see past it because she does love him, as do all my kids. My oldest states that she doesn’t want to shorten the days because she’s scared of what he will do or take it out on them. There’s days she doesn’t want to go because how he acts sometimes. Things she expresses to me, she no longer wants me to address to her dad because he has yelled at me in front of the kids at pick up or drop off when addressed, he will completely lie through text or phone calls. She tells me that no matter what she will go to protect her siblings. Unfortunately, I feel the same way. I fear he will cause issues all over again. Thank you for the long read. I really do appreciate it. I apologize for the grammatical errors lol 😂
Also, the day he yelled at our child the day of her band concert, I asked if he apologized and she said nope. He did although say,
Ex: I apologize
DD: for what?
Ex: for being a bad ass dad. *face palm*
submitted by SwanStriking491 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
Also, the day he yelled at our child the day of her band concert, I asked if he apologized and she said nope. He did although say,
Ex: I apologize
DD: for what?
Ex: for being a bad ass dad. *face palm*
2024.05.21 21:58 DarkSector0011 Sleep and group therapy
I'm sleeping so much because not only is life a void without human intimacy and love, but also because there's nothing to mentally cling to to give myself some stability or foothold in the world. The constant feeling of slipping is itself a disaster that haunts me every second of every day, especially when things are good because I know immediately that it's just an illusion.
When I was younger I used to have dreams about being in one life but then I would wake up in my own life and realise I was living a nightmare. I think this really confused my understanding of what dreams and reality were and stuck with me in some way.
Thursday I'm going to do group therapy and my experience is that usually I feel much worse after, but I'm hoping there's some self correction to stirring up the shit then letting it settle again.
Repeating the process over and over along with other healthy habits maybe I can achieve some sort of piece.
I'm grateful that these days the nightmares are when I'm asleep. I guess it's probably weird to be grateful for nightmares but I know I can wake up and that's not my life. Before I had no way to escape, for about 20 years of my life give or take. You think time is just clicking on the clock but it's not, it's perception is relative to our states, think about when we are hungry or doing a plank, or in awe of something wonderful.
There's no way to explain how time passed and I am expected to get over it without others understanding. Even if it is possible, which I doubt it is, it doesn't mean my ability to form relationships will necessarily change, that could be hardwired.
But I'm already low functioning and can't hold a job so I might as well do something I think I have an advantage too as I have pretty solid ideas about teaoms not to use drugs or drink. Having recently had an epiphany about meth which was sporadic during my life up until this point I can tell I'll probably never use it again. Though who knows what a few more years of dread and isolation can cause.
Fuckin weird shit. And I'm not trying to complain either I'm just literally explaining my situation in factual detail. This is just the way things are and always have been. I am grateful for my life now especially but if it comes time for me to choose it again or move on I would say to god "just find someone else man I am not doing this again, find someone else for this one" lol. Next.
submitted by DarkSector0011 to Schizotypal [link] [comments]
When I was younger I used to have dreams about being in one life but then I would wake up in my own life and realise I was living a nightmare. I think this really confused my understanding of what dreams and reality were and stuck with me in some way.
Thursday I'm going to do group therapy and my experience is that usually I feel much worse after, but I'm hoping there's some self correction to stirring up the shit then letting it settle again.
Repeating the process over and over along with other healthy habits maybe I can achieve some sort of piece.
I'm grateful that these days the nightmares are when I'm asleep. I guess it's probably weird to be grateful for nightmares but I know I can wake up and that's not my life. Before I had no way to escape, for about 20 years of my life give or take. You think time is just clicking on the clock but it's not, it's perception is relative to our states, think about when we are hungry or doing a plank, or in awe of something wonderful.
There's no way to explain how time passed and I am expected to get over it without others understanding. Even if it is possible, which I doubt it is, it doesn't mean my ability to form relationships will necessarily change, that could be hardwired.
But I'm already low functioning and can't hold a job so I might as well do something I think I have an advantage too as I have pretty solid ideas about teaoms not to use drugs or drink. Having recently had an epiphany about meth which was sporadic during my life up until this point I can tell I'll probably never use it again. Though who knows what a few more years of dread and isolation can cause.
Fuckin weird shit. And I'm not trying to complain either I'm just literally explaining my situation in factual detail. This is just the way things are and always have been. I am grateful for my life now especially but if it comes time for me to choose it again or move on I would say to god "just find someone else man I am not doing this again, find someone else for this one" lol. Next.
2024.05.21 21:56 Kindly_Raccoon_9638 Best place on Reddit to learn about luxury travel
Hi everyone, not going to ask about "how to become a travel advisor" or "which host agency to join"
I actually just want advice on if there are any good spots on Reddit to learn about luxury travel. About what clients want / don't want in the luxury space. About what places are good, what hotels are top notch, etc.
I'm not currently an advisor - but it's something I'm interested in for the future - but before I pursue it, I want to just see more about what actual luxury travelers are doing.
I follow some luxury travel instagram influencers - but they don't seem like "real" luxury travelers. So anyway - hoping there's some spots on Reddit that might be more useful to me as I learn and stumbled upon this group so figured I'd ask.
Thanks!
submitted by Kindly_Raccoon_9638 to travelagents [link] [comments]
I actually just want advice on if there are any good spots on Reddit to learn about luxury travel. About what clients want / don't want in the luxury space. About what places are good, what hotels are top notch, etc.
I'm not currently an advisor - but it's something I'm interested in for the future - but before I pursue it, I want to just see more about what actual luxury travelers are doing.
I follow some luxury travel instagram influencers - but they don't seem like "real" luxury travelers. So anyway - hoping there's some spots on Reddit that might be more useful to me as I learn and stumbled upon this group so figured I'd ask.
Thanks!
2024.05.21 21:53 One_Cicada_6980 Working in Europe and abroad while based in UK
Hi,
In a couple of weeks i will receive a European passport. Im starting catering company and already have clients interested in Turkey and a couple of other European countries.
Im registered as a sole trader in the UK and depending on future turnover i may switch to being a LTD company.
So, i will give an example to explain my question.
I organise a private dining event in lets say Brussels for a group of ten people and they pay me directly into my UK account. What taxes need to be paid and can travel and accommodation be put down as a business expense?
Any information would be greatly appreciated
submitted by One_Cicada_6980 to UKPersonalFinance [link] [comments]
In a couple of weeks i will receive a European passport. Im starting catering company and already have clients interested in Turkey and a couple of other European countries.
Im registered as a sole trader in the UK and depending on future turnover i may switch to being a LTD company.
So, i will give an example to explain my question.
I organise a private dining event in lets say Brussels for a group of ten people and they pay me directly into my UK account. What taxes need to be paid and can travel and accommodation be put down as a business expense?
Any information would be greatly appreciated
2024.05.21 21:51 BrnFish245 An open letter to the advisory board and instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research (GCRR)
To the Board of Directors, Advisory Board, and Instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research:
When I first came across an advertisement for the Global Center for Religious Research’s courses, I got excited, especially because the instructors weren’t all old white guys like me. I wanted to get a broad range of experiences. I intended not only to sign up for the courses, but to see whether or not I might be able to offer courses through GCRR in the future. I pictured a future in which I would have a whole new set of colleagues who, like me, treat clients who have experienced religious trauma.
Before buying anything, I decided to join the “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group that GCRR is running. It took me less than an hour to become very concerned about the behavior of GCRR and its leader, Darren Slade.
While GCRR’s advertisements give the impression of professionalism and research, Slade himself is traumatizing and even harassing his/your own customers. Do you not see it? Best case scenario: he’ll keep embarrassing you. Worst case scenario: someone (especially if you ever have employees) is going to sue you. If he publicly treats his customers with this much contempt, how will he treat his employees, if he ever gets this business off the ground?
To illustrate, I am attaching several documents printed (customer names redacted) from the GCRR’s “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group. It’s messy, but you can go look up the Facebook group and find the originals.
At one point in the attached document (while accusing a woman of being sexist against him for saying he's being sexist), Slade even claims that men are constantly discriminated against just for speaking, and that "oppression and marginalization cut both ways". (About 1/3 of the way down page 3). You are all experts in religious trauma, and I first became interested in GCRR's courses because I saw some women and people of color among the instructors and advisors. Do you, as a group, actually believe that "oppression and marginalization cuts both ways"? Do you believe that racism, sexism, and homophobia oppress and marginalize straight white men just as much as people of color, women, and LGBT people? If so, I'll be warning people away from your whole organization.
Our job is to help people put an end to this kind of abuse, not to perpetuate it. Our job is to help people to recover from their traumas, not inflict more trauma, and certainly not to belittle them for speaking up.
If I had gotten involved without checking out how Slade treats his customers, I'd be embarrassed now, so I'm taking the time to give you the professional heads-up that I would want were I in your shoes.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/128aqrYsIlbCBLcWfAiYu6JdaDeZ_1Ouo/view?usp=sharing
submitted by BrnFish245 to ReligiousTrauma [link] [comments]
When I first came across an advertisement for the Global Center for Religious Research’s courses, I got excited, especially because the instructors weren’t all old white guys like me. I wanted to get a broad range of experiences. I intended not only to sign up for the courses, but to see whether or not I might be able to offer courses through GCRR in the future. I pictured a future in which I would have a whole new set of colleagues who, like me, treat clients who have experienced religious trauma.
Before buying anything, I decided to join the “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group that GCRR is running. It took me less than an hour to become very concerned about the behavior of GCRR and its leader, Darren Slade.
While GCRR’s advertisements give the impression of professionalism and research, Slade himself is traumatizing and even harassing his/your own customers. Do you not see it? Best case scenario: he’ll keep embarrassing you. Worst case scenario: someone (especially if you ever have employees) is going to sue you. If he publicly treats his customers with this much contempt, how will he treat his employees, if he ever gets this business off the ground?
To illustrate, I am attaching several documents printed (customer names redacted) from the GCRR’s “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group. It’s messy, but you can go look up the Facebook group and find the originals.
- In his comments, Darren Slade keeps referring to “We”, as in “here’s how we do things around here”. He has a lot of people listed on his website as his “International Advisory Board” and as instructors of his courses. Did you all get together and advise him to be this condescending and hostile to your own customers? Do you want him to talk to women with this much contempt?
- He expresses pride several times about the fact that this group is “not a safe space”. IN A GROUP ABOUT TRAUMA??!
- Maybe you think this is fine, because everyone is offensive on the Internet? But if "the boss" at any company in America tacked any one of these memes or notes to an office bulletin board, each one would be an instant, valid complaint to the Human Resources department. And Darren Slade’s replies to the complaints would warrant another complaint. When his/your customers complain on Facebook, he rolls his eyes and tells them that he’s not responsible for their “triggers”. If he talks to his customers this way, how will he talk to his subordinates in the future? Especially young women subordinates? Do you see him expressing any respect here, for anyone, especially if they don’t agree with him?
- He refers to himself and the entire GCRR repeatedly as “inappropriate”, “unprofessional” “offensive”, and even “creepy”, and he says "we" like it that way. Do you like being represented that way? Are you part of this, or is this guy a runaway ego train?
- Some of you are trained as therapists. I'm a retired psychologist. You know that the following behaviors are cause for concern in anyone who is promoting himself as the leader of any kind of group. You'll find several examples of each of these circled in the attached document:
- Slade sees himself as both the hero and the victim in every story he tells. He talks a lot about the death threats he has supposedly receives.
- Regularly expresses condescension, contempt, and hostility toward his own customers, especially women. If a woman points out that he's being sexist, he claims that she is being sexist against him.
- Constantly talks about his Ph.D. Most of my colleagues put “PhD” after their names and leave it at that… but this guy? This guy needs to mention his PhD at least a couple times a week.
- Makes sexually demeaning/harassing comments to women if they disagree with him (see the “Google Complaint” document), tries to get the whole community to join him in this, and then gets even more condescending and contemptuous if a woman customer complains. He sees accusations of sexism against him as being unfair accusations leveled at him “because he identifies as ‘male’”
- When people try to help him not be a jackass, he just turns up the hostility and tells them to leave if they don't like it.
- Repeatedly fails to show empathy, especially with anyone who disagrees with him.
- Presents a professional face to the world (GCRR ads), but behind closed doors is abusive and inflammatory.
At one point in the attached document (while accusing a woman of being sexist against him for saying he's being sexist), Slade even claims that men are constantly discriminated against just for speaking, and that "oppression and marginalization cut both ways". (About 1/3 of the way down page 3). You are all experts in religious trauma, and I first became interested in GCRR's courses because I saw some women and people of color among the instructors and advisors. Do you, as a group, actually believe that "oppression and marginalization cuts both ways"? Do you believe that racism, sexism, and homophobia oppress and marginalize straight white men just as much as people of color, women, and LGBT people? If so, I'll be warning people away from your whole organization.
Our job is to help people put an end to this kind of abuse, not to perpetuate it. Our job is to help people to recover from their traumas, not inflict more trauma, and certainly not to belittle them for speaking up.
If I had gotten involved without checking out how Slade treats his customers, I'd be embarrassed now, so I'm taking the time to give you the professional heads-up that I would want were I in your shoes.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/128aqrYsIlbCBLcWfAiYu6JdaDeZ_1Ouo/view?usp=sharing
2024.05.21 21:39 blacknwhitethinking You can pass an autism assessment if you want to - appropriate?
Tldr: had an autism assessment week after appointment. Asked therapist their opinion - do you think I’m autistic? - they said “I think you can pass an autism assessment if you want to”.
Can that ever be appropriate?..
I’ve been working for around three to four months with a private therapist for what was initially presented as an addiction and compulsion control issue.
Over the course of this time I worked a lot on expressing my feelings. With the therapist quickly identifying that I don’t communicate or acknowledge them very well and that I’m very left brained. Analytical, rationalising etc.
Over the course of this time I somewhat came out to myself and my partner again. And I realised that in order to resolve identity issues around sexuality I would need to not just acknowledge my sexuality but live it openly and happily and healthily. And at this point I began to communicate to the therapist that I wanted to redirect away from the addiction focus. Because I was concerned I would put a negative spin on my renewed insights and perspectives, which were helping me in lots of areas.
I made repeated requests to look more at identity instead of addiction.
Anyway a week before the autism assessment I asked her for her opinion about it. I’d been waiting for the assessment for two years as you can imagine. But she did not know how long I was waiting. I acknowledged that it’s not her specialism or expertise and I invited her to decline to answer if she wanted to.
Every other health professional I asked this to. They say it’s not their place or role. And that that and I appreciate the honesty.
This therapist says to me “name, you can pass an autism assessment if you want to”.
I did ‘pass’. In what was really quite radical news for me the qualified assessors told me that I am autistic. And this brought about of feelings about my identity. About being an imposter. I felt like this already but the comments of the therapist who I really trusted and respected played on my mind a lot.
In our next session I began by telling her I was worried because of difficult topics to raise. Number one about the direction of work. She had sent me resources between our sessions about addiction (her area of speciality).
Number two. The comment on autism. I passed now. And what am I supposed to do with this sentiment?
The therapist stood by her comment. She asked why I had asked her as she’s not an expert. I said to her that it was a personal question of opinion and that I had said there’s no expectation to answer one way or the other. I told her that I felt her comment was irresponsible. That it has undermined the assessment or my understanding of the assessment. I said to her she would know that waiting times were long. She became defensive and said that she is not a mind reader. That she could not know if I was waiting for two years. Or whether I had paid thousands of pounds to receive a private assessment. I suggested that it didn’t really matter which one they’re both significant and that I couldn’t understand her rationale for making such a comment.
She stood by it steadfast. She said I had never raised autism specifically in any session with her so she wasn’t to know about it. ??? I said that raising it should not be a pre requisite for providing a benevolent answer which supports the client and maintains professionalism.
She was defensive and told me some things which hurt. She told me about how self sabotage about how confused I am. About how I put perfectionism on to the therapist and have such high standards and I always sabotage my therapy progress with different therapists. Note that she knows about two other therapists I’ve seen. One I met once and decided were no good. And the other one I left in a good way seeking more specialist help.
At this point I stood up and told her I did not want to listen to being put down by someone I come to for guidance. And I walked out. Cancelling any further therapy.
That night at 3am she was posting on her instagram therapy quotes which end with things like “it’s not about you” and about the importance of advocating for boundaries.
Looking further back in her instagram from months past there’s stuff about becoming happy to be the villain in others stories because they will always create their own narrative to satisfy their denial etc.
Am I the asshole here? I just told her that I’d be happier going forward in therapy with someone who acknowledges their mistakes and is not going to insult me.
Now day after I am wracked with self doubt and anxiety. What she did did not de escalate. Didn’t support. And I feel she weaponised my admissions to her against me. Trying to somehow put me down and convince me I’m a lowly addict in need of her help.
If she has opinions on the diagnosis of young people today with mental health issues she should discuss that with her friends and not let it impact her ability to work in the best interests of her clients. In my opinion.
Despite calling me analytical rational left brained with black and white thinking. And telling me I was giving her an info dump. She followed up by telling me that if I’m asking her again now that she doesn’t see any signs of autism.
I wasn’t ready to hear the words she said in the way she said them as who she was. I didn’t tell my self to someone so they could weaponise it against me. My faith in therapy as a whole is kind of shot.
submitted by blacknwhitethinking to askatherapist [link] [comments]
Can that ever be appropriate?..
I’ve been working for around three to four months with a private therapist for what was initially presented as an addiction and compulsion control issue.
Over the course of this time I worked a lot on expressing my feelings. With the therapist quickly identifying that I don’t communicate or acknowledge them very well and that I’m very left brained. Analytical, rationalising etc.
Over the course of this time I somewhat came out to myself and my partner again. And I realised that in order to resolve identity issues around sexuality I would need to not just acknowledge my sexuality but live it openly and happily and healthily. And at this point I began to communicate to the therapist that I wanted to redirect away from the addiction focus. Because I was concerned I would put a negative spin on my renewed insights and perspectives, which were helping me in lots of areas.
I made repeated requests to look more at identity instead of addiction.
Anyway a week before the autism assessment I asked her for her opinion about it. I’d been waiting for the assessment for two years as you can imagine. But she did not know how long I was waiting. I acknowledged that it’s not her specialism or expertise and I invited her to decline to answer if she wanted to.
Every other health professional I asked this to. They say it’s not their place or role. And that that and I appreciate the honesty.
This therapist says to me “name, you can pass an autism assessment if you want to”.
I did ‘pass’. In what was really quite radical news for me the qualified assessors told me that I am autistic. And this brought about of feelings about my identity. About being an imposter. I felt like this already but the comments of the therapist who I really trusted and respected played on my mind a lot.
In our next session I began by telling her I was worried because of difficult topics to raise. Number one about the direction of work. She had sent me resources between our sessions about addiction (her area of speciality).
Number two. The comment on autism. I passed now. And what am I supposed to do with this sentiment?
The therapist stood by her comment. She asked why I had asked her as she’s not an expert. I said to her that it was a personal question of opinion and that I had said there’s no expectation to answer one way or the other. I told her that I felt her comment was irresponsible. That it has undermined the assessment or my understanding of the assessment. I said to her she would know that waiting times were long. She became defensive and said that she is not a mind reader. That she could not know if I was waiting for two years. Or whether I had paid thousands of pounds to receive a private assessment. I suggested that it didn’t really matter which one they’re both significant and that I couldn’t understand her rationale for making such a comment.
She stood by it steadfast. She said I had never raised autism specifically in any session with her so she wasn’t to know about it. ??? I said that raising it should not be a pre requisite for providing a benevolent answer which supports the client and maintains professionalism.
She was defensive and told me some things which hurt. She told me about how self sabotage about how confused I am. About how I put perfectionism on to the therapist and have such high standards and I always sabotage my therapy progress with different therapists. Note that she knows about two other therapists I’ve seen. One I met once and decided were no good. And the other one I left in a good way seeking more specialist help.
At this point I stood up and told her I did not want to listen to being put down by someone I come to for guidance. And I walked out. Cancelling any further therapy.
That night at 3am she was posting on her instagram therapy quotes which end with things like “it’s not about you” and about the importance of advocating for boundaries.
Looking further back in her instagram from months past there’s stuff about becoming happy to be the villain in others stories because they will always create their own narrative to satisfy their denial etc.
Am I the asshole here? I just told her that I’d be happier going forward in therapy with someone who acknowledges their mistakes and is not going to insult me.
Now day after I am wracked with self doubt and anxiety. What she did did not de escalate. Didn’t support. And I feel she weaponised my admissions to her against me. Trying to somehow put me down and convince me I’m a lowly addict in need of her help.
If she has opinions on the diagnosis of young people today with mental health issues she should discuss that with her friends and not let it impact her ability to work in the best interests of her clients. In my opinion.
Despite calling me analytical rational left brained with black and white thinking. And telling me I was giving her an info dump. She followed up by telling me that if I’m asking her again now that she doesn’t see any signs of autism.
I wasn’t ready to hear the words she said in the way she said them as who she was. I didn’t tell my self to someone so they could weaponise it against me. My faith in therapy as a whole is kind of shot.
2024.05.21 21:36 fenix0000000 KDE Plasma 6.0.5 RELEASE !
Complete Changelog: Plasma 6.0.5 complete changelog - KDE Community
BluedevilDiscover
- Flatpak: don't trip over nullptr remotes when installing a flatpakref. Commit.
- Flatpak: Check specifically installed files when looking up installed ones. Commit. Fixes bug #482518
- Notifier: Assume online if no QNetworkInformation instance available. Commit.
- Kns: drop provider part of the url. Commit. Fixes bug #486330
- Packagekit: return empty license array when unknown. Commit. Fixes bug #486037
- FwupdBackend: Set user agent from client. Commit. Fixes bug #486726
- Flatpak: Do not report regressions on transaction progress. Commit.
- Flatpak: Do not use QIcon to check if an appstream icon exists. Commit.
- UpdatesPage: Fix invisible delegates taking up space and causing a ghost section header. Commit. Fixes bug #478253
- UpdatesPage: Port from custom QSortFilterProxyModel subclass to KItemModels. Commit.
- Postman: don't run too often. Commit.
- Backtracegenerator: refactor process resetting. Commit.
- Backtracegenerator: don't crash when the debugger crashes. Commit. Fixes bug #485669
- Coredump/polkit: return early when excavation failed. Commit.
- Coredump/polkit: put tmpDir on the stack. Commit.
- Coredump/polkit: don't allow anything that looks like paths as input. Commit.
- Dumpexcavator: fix dbus timeout handling. Commit.
- Be more strict in rejecting useless traces. Commit.
- Alternatecalendar: respect numbering system from libicu. Commit. Fixes bug #485373
- Wallpapers/potd: fix dragging preview image in Qt6.7. Commit.
- Postpone processing KSycoca to the next event loop cycle. Commit.
- Output: Use dedicated Rectangle for panel orientation indicator. Commit.
- Osd: Make dbus-send wait for a reply. Commit.
- Revert "osd: show main window immediately after the application starts". Commit.
- Osd: show main window immediately after the application starts. Commit. See bug #482642
- Osd: fix actions not being applied in OSD. Commit. Fixes bug #482642
KWin
- Backends/drm: adapt the color factors to the target colorspace. Commit. Fixes bug #483801
- Plugins/screenshot: Snap pixel grid for rectangular screenshots. Commit.
- Plugins/screenshot: Round texture size. Commit.
- Compositor_wayland: properly handle moving the cursor plane failing. Commit. Fixes bug #487037
- Backends/virtual: Fix linux dmabuf feedback. Commit.
- Backends/wayland: Fix present() because beginFrame() has not been called or failed. Commit.
- Backends/wayland: Check whether it's possible to create a swapchain with the given format+modifier. Commit. Fixes bug #485496
- Wayland: Fix security context failing to create a client. Commit.
- Disconnect Workspace::outputsChanged from InputPanelV1Window when it's closed. Commit.
- Plugins/screencast: fix damage region position. Commit.
- Core/renderlayer: don't implicitly truncate width and height of the geometry. Commit. Fixes bug #482987
- Effect: Fix clip region in AnimationEffect. Commit.
- Workspace: fix syncing the stacking order with Xorg. Commit. Fixes bug #478556
- Placementtracker: fix restoring of windows in custom tiles. Commit.
- Placementtracker: fix quick tiled windows not being restored correctly. Commit. Fixes bug #461886
- Fix vertically maximized windows sometimes being moved out of the screen. Commit. Fixes bug #476037
- Placementtracker: fix vertically maximized windows being misplaced. Commit. See bug #476037
- Dpmsinputeventfilter: Don't wake screens up on warp events. Commit. Fixes bug #480026
- Backends/drm: Prevent "recently disconnected" screen wakeup more aggressively. Commit. Fixes bug #480026
- Workspace: don't touch output configs on Xorg. Commit. See bug #477268
- Backends/drm: fix udev event KWIN_DRM_DEVICES check. Commit.
- Plugins/screencast: Avoid resetting m_dmabufParams when resizing the stream. Commit.
- Plugins/zoom: Center cursor on active screen on shortcut. Commit. Fixes bug #435108
- Plugins/screencast: Use steady clock to generate last sent timestamps. Commit.
- Plugins/screencast: Make frame throttling less strict. Commit.
- Plugins/screencast: Reset last sent timestamp when the stream resumes. Commit.
- Plugins/screenshot: Fix monitor screenshots on x11. Commit.
- Outputconfigurationstore: don't overwrite output settings with kscreen configs. Commit. Fixes bug #485353
- Backends/drm: use dumb buffers for the cursor on virtual machines. Commit. Fixes bug #485827
- Ci: Switch to suse_tumbleweed_qt67. Commit.
- Scene/workspacescene: don't check direct scanout candidates for a pixmap. Commit. Fixes bug #485639. Fixes bug #485730. Fixes bug #485712. See bug #477016
- Fall back to breeze_cursors if neither configured nor default can be loaded. Commit.
- SensorFaceController: Create QQmlEngine for configs at class initialization. Commit.
- SensorFaceController: use a separate QQmlEngine in createConfigUi. Commit. Fixes bug #483689
- Fix linecharts and bar charts for small sizes. Commit. Fixes bug #483529
- More robust against malformed hints. Commit. Fixes bug #487230
- Workaround setMinimumSize not resizing. Commit. Fixes bug #485456. Fixes bug #480722
- Clock.svg: remove empty groups that cause warnings. Commit.
- Sync config to disk when values change. Commit. Fixes bug #481085. Fixes bug #482469. Fixes bug #482090. Fixes bug #481113. Fixes bug #482773. Fixes bug #483083
- Applets/showActivityManager: Fix and improve layout. Commit. Fixes bug #482098
- Applets/kicker: cap maximum icon size. Commit. Fixes bug #482612
- Kickoff: Use Kirigami.Units.iconSizes.huge as maximum icon size. Commit. Fixes bug #467004
- Panel: don't double count floatingPadding. Commit. Fixes bug #482468
- On multiline launchers are often as wide as tasks. Commit. See bug #485223
- Fix keyboard navigation. Commit. Fixes bug #485588. Fixes bug #477348
- Fix montage functionality. Commit.
- FaceLoader: use qmlEngine for configEngine. Commit. See bug #483689
- Applicationstable: Use FirstCellDelegate for the first cell in details table. Commit. Fixes bug #479235
Plasma Workspace
- Systemmonitor: create configEngine for config items. Commit. See bug #483689
- Kcm/fonts: use correct signal handlers for UI controls. Commit. See bug #486699
- Applets/systemtray: Fix wrong icons color in settings window. Commit.
- Remove nasty processEvents() which led to a crash on exit. Commit.
- Initialize member vars to avoid using uninitialized values. Commit.
- Applets/clipboard: Show appropriate placeholder message with no search results. Commit. Fixes bug #486300
- Kcms/icons: filter out GNOME's Adwaita and High Contrast icon themes. Commit. Fixes bug #486409
- Applets/kicker: fix potential crash when modifying preferred applications. Commit.
- Components/calendar: respect numbering system from local language. Commit. See bug #485373
Powerdevil
- Kcmodule: Hide profile load/unload fields if battery profiles are absent. Commit.
- [osd] Force Plasma styling. Commit. Fixes bug #480254
- Plasmoid: Use KItemModels SFPM. Commit.
2024.05.21 21:36 nomoneynofish Building out an online group practice
Hi everyone, I am a clinical psychologist based out of NY and I have my own private practice that offers virtual therapy only. I get a good amount of referrals to maintain a full-ish caseload, and have a small waitlist. Being an asian male, many of my clients/referrals are also asian males but I see a good number of other ethnicities and genders. However, I do not want to open up more availbility and rather spend time on writing etc.
I would like turn my solo practice to a group practice by building a team of clinicians that work under me. I would appreciate any guidance or help
1) Building out a business model that will allow me to take a percentage off each session billed by a hired clinician. 2) forming an LLC or S-corp.
3) where/how to hire clinicians
4) any general advice or suggestions for first steps
submitted by nomoneynofish to Psychologists [link] [comments]
I would like turn my solo practice to a group practice by building a team of clinicians that work under me. I would appreciate any guidance or help
1) Building out a business model that will allow me to take a percentage off each session billed by a hired clinician. 2) forming an LLC or S-corp.
3) where/how to hire clinicians
4) any general advice or suggestions for first steps
2024.05.21 21:15 Aware-Ad1250 alcohol before presentation?
I'm at university and I need to do 2 short presentation per semester to be allowed to the exam. it's basically some maths task i have to present in front of a group. I'm supposed to do that tomorrow, I practiced and with stuttering it takes me 7 to 8 minutes. my psychiatrist recommended me some alternative herb medicine called Bach rescue drops or whatever. Im already stressing so much that I took a lot of them but I'm still stressed. I looked at the ingredients and one of them is alcohol. and that inspired me. because why only take a couple drops of alcohol if I could take a few shots? I'm planning to test the amount I should take before I go to sleep so I don't overestimate myself tomorrow.
I am painfully aware that I'm completely overreacting. I've done this before and the anxiety is absolutely out of proportion every time. and I have no idea what to do about it cause it ruins the entire day (and the days before). and I don't even think that exposure therapy alone can do much about it cause I feel like I'm mostly scared of the symptoms of my anxiety. so even if the situation itself goes fine, the anxiety was usually so bad that I don't wanna do that thing again.
to come back to my question, did anyone of you ever try to medicate the anxiety with alcohol in a situation like this? and did it help or did it make things worse?
submitted by Aware-Ad1250 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
I am painfully aware that I'm completely overreacting. I've done this before and the anxiety is absolutely out of proportion every time. and I have no idea what to do about it cause it ruins the entire day (and the days before). and I don't even think that exposure therapy alone can do much about it cause I feel like I'm mostly scared of the symptoms of my anxiety. so even if the situation itself goes fine, the anxiety was usually so bad that I don't wanna do that thing again.
to come back to my question, did anyone of you ever try to medicate the anxiety with alcohol in a situation like this? and did it help or did it make things worse?
2024.05.21 21:14 AccomplishedHeat8629 has therapy helped your bdd?
i really would love to get back into therapy, i went when i was a teenager (21 now) but had a not so great experience with my therapist. also it was for different reasons than BDD.
but i was in a group on facebook for others with BDD & so many of them had horror stories regarding reaching out to therapy for help with BDD. saying that their therapists didn’t understand the illness basically & didn’t know how to treat them properly ultimately making their issues worse. that’s terrifying for me because i can’t see this getting ANY worse for me lol.
also, i don’t want to just accept the fact that i’m just “ugly”. i don’t want someone giving me ways to cope with being ugly. i have a boyfriend who truly does not understand the illness either & is absolutely NO help & if anything makes the situation worse at times. long story short, we had a falling out because of an argument & a fat joke coming from him because he knows how to get under my skin. i haven’t been able to really see him the same anymore, especially because my triggers have been ssooooo bad lately, he knew this & continued to say it. anyways, a few days after the fact he took a photo of me off guard that absolutely SENTTT me over the edge. i think i’ve cried at least once everyday after that picture. genuinely i don’t think i’ll ever recover from that picture. i tried venting to him, trying to make him understand i’m not angry he took the picture, i’m upset over the way i look in it. he continues to give me the worst advice, saying i should watch “hope core” videos on youtube, & that everyone perceives the way i look differently, because i said “well i definitely don’t look THAT bad when i look in the mirror.” seriously i looked like a demon from another planet & i swear i look in the mirror at least 50 times a day & NEVER look that terrible. i do look gross all the time just not that bad lol.
anyways what i was trying to get at was i took his advice as “you may think your ugly & maybe you are but look at the brighter side.” i don’t want that advice. i don’t want to necessarily feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet but i want to feel okay with myself when i look in the mirror. I WANT to feel at the least pretty & learn how to make myself feel good. i mean coping mechanisms would be lovely but i don’t want to accept the fact that i’m ugly. ://
if you read my novel thank you lol, clearly i need therapy to be writing a whole series 🤣
submitted by AccomplishedHeat8629 to BodyDysmorphia [link] [comments]
but i was in a group on facebook for others with BDD & so many of them had horror stories regarding reaching out to therapy for help with BDD. saying that their therapists didn’t understand the illness basically & didn’t know how to treat them properly ultimately making their issues worse. that’s terrifying for me because i can’t see this getting ANY worse for me lol.
also, i don’t want to just accept the fact that i’m just “ugly”. i don’t want someone giving me ways to cope with being ugly. i have a boyfriend who truly does not understand the illness either & is absolutely NO help & if anything makes the situation worse at times. long story short, we had a falling out because of an argument & a fat joke coming from him because he knows how to get under my skin. i haven’t been able to really see him the same anymore, especially because my triggers have been ssooooo bad lately, he knew this & continued to say it. anyways, a few days after the fact he took a photo of me off guard that absolutely SENTTT me over the edge. i think i’ve cried at least once everyday after that picture. genuinely i don’t think i’ll ever recover from that picture. i tried venting to him, trying to make him understand i’m not angry he took the picture, i’m upset over the way i look in it. he continues to give me the worst advice, saying i should watch “hope core” videos on youtube, & that everyone perceives the way i look differently, because i said “well i definitely don’t look THAT bad when i look in the mirror.” seriously i looked like a demon from another planet & i swear i look in the mirror at least 50 times a day & NEVER look that terrible. i do look gross all the time just not that bad lol.
anyways what i was trying to get at was i took his advice as “you may think your ugly & maybe you are but look at the brighter side.” i don’t want that advice. i don’t want to necessarily feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet but i want to feel okay with myself when i look in the mirror. I WANT to feel at the least pretty & learn how to make myself feel good. i mean coping mechanisms would be lovely but i don’t want to accept the fact that i’m ugly. ://
if you read my novel thank you lol, clearly i need therapy to be writing a whole series 🤣
2024.05.21 21:10 thecorgipuppies how to come to terms and move forward?
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and in December I caught him watching porn. He was aware of my boundary of not watching it and it was something I talked about often.
I do have issues with being incredibly controlling and unhealthly toxic. I am in therapy and I am working through things and making progress now. I started therapy because he told me that he did not want to be in the relationship anymore if I wasn’t atleast trying to get better. Since I knew that I didnt want to be like this forever (i’m unhappy with myself and what I make him do), I agreed to go to therapy to figure it out. I was like a couple months into therapy with an appointment every other week when I found it in December and supposedly he did it in November.
When I confronted him about it, he (obviously) spoke his case and explained why. While many people (especially in this group) do not believe his reasoning, for us and our relationship it does make sense. Him and I have both talked about how we don’t find other people attractive, good looking, etc while in a relationship. I have read many threads about other people discussing the same thing, so I know it’s possible plus I experience it. As my (unhealthy) boundaries got worse and worse we were fighting all the time terribly and just not enjoying each other anymore. He explained that the reason he watched porn is because he was unsure about moving forward in our relationship and wanted to see if he found other people attractive because he believed that if he did start finding people attractive in our relationship after over a year of not, then clearly feelings and things have changed. He explained he only watched it twice, didn’t get turned on or hard, didn’t get off to it, didn’t like anything etc. He said it was the only “fool proof” way to test if he’d like something physical about another girl because it doesn’t get more clear than that. After this test is when he said he realized that he still wanted to fight for us because it made him realize his feelings for me hadn’t changed. Honestly, in between that time until i found it, his attitude toward me and our relationship improved.
So, a lot of people that I talked to did say, from a man’s perspective that it does make sense and With all that he was feeling it makes sense. I don’t think it’s an excuse for his actions, but I feel like I can understand where he was coming from. Obviously him and i both know there were better ways to approach it and go about it, but sometimes people don’t think before doing things and honest mistakes do happen.
After hearing his explanation and having somewhat of a back story on our relationship, how do you guys feel about his “reasonings?”
With that, he has done everything to try to make me feel comfortable, taken accountability for his actions, and deals with the consequences of his own actions with a good behavior 90% of the time. I know a lot of addicts often “do everything “ for their partner to continue gaslighting them but I just don’t know if that’s this case. Part of me believes him the other part is skeptical….i don’t know how to feel. We are also young (19 and he just turned 20 when this happened) so I appreciate insight from wiser, experienced people.
I still catch myself thinking about it randomly even when Iv thought iv moved past it. Thankfully he always makes room to have more and more conversations with me about it. I’m just not sure if this is something (especially with his reasonings) that I can move past from and trust him again. I don’t want to live everyday in fear that I will find something again and I don’t want to think about it at all or atleast not let it destroy me when I do think about it.
Please help.
submitted by thecorgipuppies to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
I do have issues with being incredibly controlling and unhealthly toxic. I am in therapy and I am working through things and making progress now. I started therapy because he told me that he did not want to be in the relationship anymore if I wasn’t atleast trying to get better. Since I knew that I didnt want to be like this forever (i’m unhappy with myself and what I make him do), I agreed to go to therapy to figure it out. I was like a couple months into therapy with an appointment every other week when I found it in December and supposedly he did it in November.
When I confronted him about it, he (obviously) spoke his case and explained why. While many people (especially in this group) do not believe his reasoning, for us and our relationship it does make sense. Him and I have both talked about how we don’t find other people attractive, good looking, etc while in a relationship. I have read many threads about other people discussing the same thing, so I know it’s possible plus I experience it. As my (unhealthy) boundaries got worse and worse we were fighting all the time terribly and just not enjoying each other anymore. He explained that the reason he watched porn is because he was unsure about moving forward in our relationship and wanted to see if he found other people attractive because he believed that if he did start finding people attractive in our relationship after over a year of not, then clearly feelings and things have changed. He explained he only watched it twice, didn’t get turned on or hard, didn’t get off to it, didn’t like anything etc. He said it was the only “fool proof” way to test if he’d like something physical about another girl because it doesn’t get more clear than that. After this test is when he said he realized that he still wanted to fight for us because it made him realize his feelings for me hadn’t changed. Honestly, in between that time until i found it, his attitude toward me and our relationship improved.
So, a lot of people that I talked to did say, from a man’s perspective that it does make sense and With all that he was feeling it makes sense. I don’t think it’s an excuse for his actions, but I feel like I can understand where he was coming from. Obviously him and i both know there were better ways to approach it and go about it, but sometimes people don’t think before doing things and honest mistakes do happen.
After hearing his explanation and having somewhat of a back story on our relationship, how do you guys feel about his “reasonings?”
With that, he has done everything to try to make me feel comfortable, taken accountability for his actions, and deals with the consequences of his own actions with a good behavior 90% of the time. I know a lot of addicts often “do everything “ for their partner to continue gaslighting them but I just don’t know if that’s this case. Part of me believes him the other part is skeptical….i don’t know how to feel. We are also young (19 and he just turned 20 when this happened) so I appreciate insight from wiser, experienced people.
I still catch myself thinking about it randomly even when Iv thought iv moved past it. Thankfully he always makes room to have more and more conversations with me about it. I’m just not sure if this is something (especially with his reasonings) that I can move past from and trust him again. I don’t want to live everyday in fear that I will find something again and I don’t want to think about it at all or atleast not let it destroy me when I do think about it.
Please help.
2024.05.21 21:10 BleepBlimpBop $RILY DD: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED with proof!
Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims
The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless (currently 57% of float sold short per FinViz), with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year
Compiled & Debunked
Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.Why Did They Target RILY?
One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.
Debunked Claims
The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note: this sub disallows image posts. There is a similar post in the RILYStock sub which contains virtually all source images for the claim in the comments (too many images to embed in the post). The source images are illuminating.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).
| Claimant | Claim | Reality |
|---|---|---|
| 1) Wolfpack | Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K | FALSE |
| 2) Wolfpack | “new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023” | Repaid in fullFALSE , early, on 1/6/2024. |
| 3) Wolfpack | “The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.” | Full redemption FALSE of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments. |
| 4) Wolfpack | “According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.” | Core Scientific IncExela Technologies Arena Group Holdings FALSE a. . repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing) |
| 5) Wolfpack | “RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023” | is in full compliance FALSE RILY with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status. |
| 6) Wolfpack | “Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value | extremely valuableFALSE Segment is . From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA. |
| 7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets." | FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K |
| 8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various | The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials. | Audited 10-K FALSE was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external). |
| 9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital | Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation" | Sullivan and Cromwell FALSE is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client. |
| 10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital | Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud | MarcumFALSE is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year." |
| 11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud | NomuraFALSE is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client. |
| 12) Parrot Capital | "The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more." | FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies. |
| 13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ | Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley." | stated by the company UCC search FALSE As , Simple disproves this. UCC # 202302295747 |
| 14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | “Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “ | hit the 5yr SEC ruleFALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had , so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on. | hit the 5yr SEC ruleFALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had , so he was never working on this year’s audit. |
| 16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left | 5 consecutive yearsFALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for . As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false. |
| 17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) | “He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified | Marcum is a highly respected auditorFALSE The auditor is fully qualified. ; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor. |
| 18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) | "Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff" | reduced 24Q1FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and |