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Me: Wouldn't it be fun to wait to post this in the summer so you can say happy Christmas in July for once? Also me: that's a terrible joke. Just publish the thing.
Apologies for publishing in 2 parts. I'm not trying to drag it out I'm just aware this is the length of 2 episodes, reddit will only allow me 20 pics per post, and there's just too much going on for our beloved idiot in this one, so. I'm pacing myself.
It's not Christmas in July, it's Christmas 1919 at Downton and I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if Mr Fellowes really wants me to believe that the Crawleys decorated the Goliath of Christmas trees themselves (they didn't, but I like that Mary was sipping her tea and offering her view on things. Queen👑 ).
Plus, the setup for this episode intro had an actual checklist:
Tree? Check
Family arriving? Check
Violet judging this year's Christmas cards and looking for the contenders for worst cards of the year (they judge them on both content, and actual card)? Check
https://preview.redd.it/ul3aegl7cv0d1.jpg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c86f2409e193f7f68461f9ca06c72c7c424af66
Anna gets a gold heart brooch from Mary and Mrs Hughes is as excited about it as she is. Also, I can see the inspo for the entire Anna/Mary tag on AO3 right here. And Mrs Hughes ships it.
Just kidding, Bates is in prison, and we're all very sad.
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Carlisle is wondering why the Crawleys are being kind to their servants by letting them have some time off at lunchtime on Christmas Day, and I'm wondering if anyone (namely, us, the viewers) is supposed to be surprised by his behaviour.
I mean, blackmailing Lavinia just because? Blackmailing Mary into an engagement with him? Trying to manipulate Anna and Carson? Being physically abusive to Mary, and trying to control her life and behaviour? Bringing Lavinia back to "sacrifice" her to a lifetime as Matthew's nurse, so Mary won't spend that much time with Matthew (not because there was something off about that, just that Carlisle didn't want her to)?
He is an asshole. He was an asshole. He will always be an asshole. Glad we're finally all on the same page.
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Matthew and Mary are exchanging presents behind Robert's head in one scene and I'm very upset by it. Please, if anyone has any ideas, submit what you think they got each other for Christmas.
If you need any inspiration, here's what people would buy each other as presents in the 1920s according to the British Newspaper Archives:
Lots of cigarette paraphernalia Cocktails Banjos PENCILS Dance Frocks Shaving Kits Vacuum Cleaners
Keep that list in mind if you're disappointed with your presents next year.
​
https://preview.redd.it/9y1mgw5fcv0d1.jpg?width=996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc993eeff4617e298b7ab85b9c8266ac3f683942
Matthew got a telephone call telling him that Mr Swire is very ill, and he will got to London to visit him. Mary gives him some condolences and he says "I'm sorry if I'm casting a gloom". I have a feeling the poor man had been pretty depressed for quite long, probably perked up a bit for Christmas and thought he was bringing the mood down again, but Mary responds with compassion. Oh Matthew.
Carlisle saw Mary go after Matthew in the hall, to ask about Mr Swire, and literally took his newspaper with him and followed her out there because that's completely normal behaviour. Just picture the ridiculousness of it: Mary and Matthew talking about Mr Swire and Bates' trial, romantic themes that they are, and Carlisle is so annoyed by it he's standing there in the background. Reading a newspaper, just to make sure they know he's still around (who could forget, mate).
Also, Mary saying she'll attend Bates' trial to support Anna, and Matthew immediately going "Would you like me to go with you?". Because of course he wants to support Mary in all things.
And this is Matthew's first villainous act for the episode: He asks Carlisle "or will YOU do that?" as in, since you're here, will you be supporting Mary in this endeavour.
Of course he isn't. Carlisle could never understand the concept of being there as emotional support for a Servant. He can't even understand why one would give a servant a few hours off on Christmas Day.
And just like that, Matthew scores one point in showcasing that Carlisle is a waste of space.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 1
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Btw, Matthew has a few sets of looks reserved for Carlisle: Derision, derision, and more derision.
​
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They're playing charades (aka The Game), Mary is mimicking falling down, Matthew has a front row seat to it, and they're not playing on the same team so she can't rely on him to guess. Which means he can sit back and have the time of his life.
Carlisle complains about not liking the game and I'm left to wonder why he wanted that life so much since he could find nothing to enjoy in it.
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Mary IS still trying with him, however. He complains again on New Years Eve about the servants having some time off, and she reasons that it only happens twice a year, and he complains again that she doesn't understand because she didn't have to work for what she has.
Fellowes finally does the work on these two. I was having a conversation with another user recently, who was wondering why Mary picked Carlisle when she could have picked someone like Evelyn Napier.
Let's forget the Pamuk Scandal for a moment. Mary clearly wanted something more other than a traditional marriage. When we meet her, she's 21. She already has a husband in her pocket, if all she wanted was a position in society and a title, she'd have already been married to Patrick in 1912. But clearly, she wanted more out of life than to be someone's wife.
She wanted love, and she wanted to have something to do, whatever that was. She would have found both in Matthew, if things hadn't gone to complete shit, so why not consider Carlisle (back when he seemed normal)?
He was a working, self-made man, so he was interesting to her. He wasn't the run-of-the-mill rich boy she'd been exposed to her entire life, and if she married him she'd have a job in establishing him in London society and helping him build his empire. She'd Work, in short. She'd be allowed to use her brain.
But they don't match. At all. He offered her a marriage of convenience, and then was upset that she loved someone else, when Carlisle never offered her love in the first place. She wanted to be able to go about her life, he wanted her under his thumb to do his bidding. She was raised to have a certain respect for other people (e.g. the servants in the house), he thought that because he had money he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
In short, they don't work together. Not even taking into account he was blackmailing her with a scandal, and Matthew was off stage left being Villainous (according to Carlisle. Villain, Perseus, it's all a matter of perspective.)
​
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I love how they contrast Carlisle's ruthlessness with Matthew's compassion (and look how she looks up to him). Because Matthew is also a working man, but he's kind. And even though he didn't have any connection to mr Swire anymore, he stood by him in his hour of need, to the bitter end.
Speaking of contrasting Carlisle's assholery to Matthew:
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Rosamund's WhatsHisFace of a suitor points out there's only three women following the shoot, and they should divide their time between the men taking part in said shoot (God forbid women are not around to entertain these assholes gents). Carlisle immediately rebuffs him before Mary can get a word in, saying "Lady Mary will stand by ME". Mary is about to, very politely, put him in his place, when Matthew comes in for his second act of Villainy so far, saying "I thought you said you'd stand by me for the first shoot, isn't that what you said?"
He doesn't push her to go with him, he's just giving her an exit plan. So that Mary doesn't have to bring herself in an awkward position in front of all those people, to defend her right to an opinion. And Mary takes it. Of course she does. She can show Carlisle he doesn't get to dictate what she does, and do so in a way that doesn't create gossip.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 2
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Look how he looks at her. He's so happy she took him up on it. Whatever else happened beyond this, they were friends. He cared for her, and she cared for him. And he has her back here, and she accepted it, so easily. And that made him happy (and so, so smug. A true Villain).
https://preview.redd.it/1fzkc8n5dv0d1.jpg?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96c18b3b6203ddaebccedf3173fa4d0bb7c87619
She loves how un-selfconscious he is. She's always loved it, all those years ago at the flower show when he'd mock himself for her benefit, to make her laugh. He does it here still but now she's not surprised by it, just endlessly fond. Dozens of men spent years showing off their (probably mediocre) skills, to win her favour, and of course she'd fall for the guy who was just being honest. Mary likes honesty, she never got much of it. Her world is a show of mirrors where nothing is what it seems, and it must have been so refreshing to be with someone who was exactly what he showed the world. It's only sad that it took her so long to realise that just as she loved him for who he was, he'd do the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"He does rather beg to be teased" - this asshole has been deliberately messing with Carlisle for ages, hasn't he. I've only counted 2 Villainy points, but I bet he earned himself dozens before. Whenever he'd get pissed off at something Carlisle said he'd just whisk Mary away, just to show him that he could, even if Carlisle was the fiance, Matthew was still an important person in her life, and he'd always be, and he made sure Carlisle knew that (and took great, great enjoyment in it).
Mary: The awful truth is, he’s starting to get on my nerves. Still, you’re not the person to burden with that.
Matthew: You’re still going to marry him, though.
Mary: Of course. Why wouldn’t I.
Matthew is not happy about this. He appears to not understand it, and I wish I could give him a a nice shake. Regardless of the information he doesn't have, Matthew, mate, it's not like she hasn't met other men. Like it or not, most of your lot back in the day belonged in the bin.
And Mary, as a high-society woman, didn't have a lot of options. She had to get married. And at least Carlisle wanted to buy Haxby, she'd be near her family, spend time in London. Before she'd have hoped to actually get some work done, within the capacity her marriage would allow her, but with things being as they are with Carlisle I think she's now hoping he'd be busy with his work and she could get on with her days and maybe not see much of him, as most couples of their class did. And that's not taking into account the actual reason why Mary thinks she absolutely Must marry Carlisle.
https://preview.redd.it/5u0162z7dv0d1.jpg?width=560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=792e7b9d4ab2bad74d90c90aea70b51766e0eb66
Also, Matthew, let's not pretend you'd like any man she brought home. So either take a deep breath and confess some things, or get on with it.
Carlisle asks Mary why she and Matthew were laughing together. He asks "Am I never to be free of him?" and her answer is, of course not. Because, of course not. First of all, sorry to say Richard, but, they're a package deal.
I can't see either one of them giving up the other willingly, not after all this. But of course, the main thing is the aristocracy thing. He's the head of the family, you'll see A Lot of Matthew, if you and Mary get married. And Matthew has spent almost every minute of the episode so far making sure Richard knows this. One would say, he's trying to push him out (like a villain), through his sheer presence in Mary's life.
"I might understand if you let me think for a solitary minute that you preferred my company to his."
Here's another problem: He should know, this wasn't part of their terms. Of course, he's not an aristocrat, so he's not aware of how loveless marriages of convenience work, but since it WAS a loveless marriage of convenience he was offering, I wonder why THE FUCK, he demands her attention now.
Mary would perform her duty to him. She'd be the best hostess London ever saw. She'd be the pretty wife on his arm, and she'd charm his contacts, and she'd be the stepping stone for him to be accepted in aristocratic circles, and she'd give him children and hold his house. And yes, she'd love spending time with her family, and that included Matthew.
Richard is just being a petty, controlling, fuck. Because he wants more than she's willing to offer, and he wants more than what he'd originally asked. So he, can shove it.
https://preview.redd.it/4gr6ycqldv0d1.jpg?width=854&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeb0c9806c1b0fc1830c35c63510ee879ce480eb
Richard: I’ve done everything I can to please you.
Mary: Do you mean you bought a large and rather vulgar house?
Richard: You cannot talk to me like that! What have I done to deserve it? What?!
Would you like a list of your crimes, Richard? I've posted it a bit further above.
Also, Mary. She was hoping he'd offer her an interesting life (before he turned out to be an asshole). But all he's offered so far is the same old bullshit she's been offered all her life: A big empty (emotionless) house.
A demanding husband. A life full of constraints and limitations, set to her by a husband who expects to dictate everything she does.
It's at this point that Matthew, clearly the villain of the story, shows up because he hears Richard yelling at Mary and that just won't do.
My beloved idiot covers for Richard here. And she does it because of something she said to Matthew before "He's starting to get on my nerves, but you're not the person to burden with that."
She doesn't want Matthew to feel like he has to come to her rescue. She heard him, when he told her they can't be together (many times) in the previous episodes. And she loves him, so she's let him be. She knows he's got his own troubles, that he's been through a lot, and that shows with how she watches him walk away with a fair bit of worry in her eyes. Plus, she doesn't want him to do anything for her out of obligation. She just wants them to be friends, and friends don't solve your marital (or, in this case, pre-marital) problems. They can provide comedic relief, and support, but that's about it.
And as we said, Matthew is clearly the villain of this story.
Speaking of which, Matthew interrupted Richard's yelling at Mary so, I guess that means - Matthew's Villainy points so far: 3
​
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Speaking of friends: Matthew will be there, for Mary (and Anna) at Bates' trial, and Mary asks to be there when he brings back Mr Swire's ashes, since the man wanted to be buried next to his daughter (who had to be buried at Downton, and not near her home in London, for maximum guilt-trip points I guess).
I love how those two care, and support each other in difficult times. It IS what friends do. Of course, Carlisle is not happy about that either. And listen, if he was in love with Mary, I'd be very understanding. I'd be telling him to cut his losses and run. I'd be empathising. But I'm like, you've been an absolute tool for years now mate, how am I supposed to see your POV, when you're basically worrying that if those two, at some point, get their heads out of their asses and realise they make a great couple, you'll lose your trophy wife you've trapped in a marriage, through sheer luck (on your end).
​
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Carlisle, after that entire day of watching Mary and Matthew having a nice time out with the family, pressures Mary to set a wedding date. Mary wants to wait, I guess she hopes for some godly intervention because she definitely doesn't see any other way out of her current situation, and he goes so far as to literally grab her, and in front of her family too.
I'm finally not the only one who wants to shoot him dead. Of course, Robert won't do anything about it because when has Robert ever done anything for Mary (so far), but Matthew looks tempted.
(I had to cut out poor Carson because there's too many people on this frame as it is, but shout out to him for also worriedly watching in the background).
​
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Matthew: Mary. Can I help?
Mary: After today, I won’t insult you by asking what you mean.
Matthew: You don’t have to marry him, you know. You don’t have to marry anyone. You’ll always have a home here as long as I’m alive.
First of all, I LOVE, that his reaction was to ignore Carlisle, run after Mary, and ask her if he can help. He's not offering to be a saviour. Mary doesn't need one of those (she does need to find that steel in her spine though). But he's offering to support her, and he says it in a way that implies he'd do pretty much anything she asked (Do you want to poison him? I'll help carry him to the pigs pen).
Second of all, Matthew, you absolute Idiot.
Mary supporting you in your grief, you supporting her with Bates' trial, that's normal friend behaviour.
You telling her she can LIVE with you forever, and so she doesn't have to Marry Any Man, is so, so dumb.
What is she going to live with you as, Matthew? Your cousin again? Where is the cousinl-y behaviour line drawn? Private dinners? Maybe with some candles and soft music? Holidays in Europe together?
Also, where is that imaginary limit you've put to your happiness with her for the sake of Lavinia's (very real, according to canon) ghost, mate?
You clearly seem happy enough to spend time with Mary, support her, laugh with her. Is it just the romance that's killing your mood?
Is it that that's the harshest punishment Matthew could imagine, spending his life next to Mary without actually spending his life WITH her, or is it that in spite of how much he wanted to suffer for his mistake, he just couldn't bring himself to cut ties entirely? Or is it that her happiness was more important than his self-imposed martyrdom, so he couldn't keep himself away and let her throw away her life for God knows what (her own mistake, is the answer, because they both like making themselves suffer for past sins. They've got A LOT in common).
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Mary: Didn’t the war teach you never to make promises? And anyway, you’re wrong. I do have to marry him.
Matthew: But why? Not to prove you’ve broken with me, surely? We know where we stand. We’ve no need for...gestures.
Mary: If I told you the reason, you’d despise me, and that I really couldn’t bear.
She makes me so sad. She's so certain she'll be ruined and kicked out of her house if the scandal ever came out.
And I get it. It was how she'd been raised. And all she's heard so far is how she's "a slut" and "damaged goods" and Mary's self-image is in tatters. She doesn't view herself as anyone worth fighting for, she doesn't want anyone else to fight for her, and she won't even fight for herself, and to me that's the saddest part of all.
She's entirely defeated, has been for a long time. This entire season. She's taken every blow and hasn't dodged them at all. Welcoming Lavinia, accepting Matthew as a friend and nothing more. Being by his side when he got injured, taking care of him and accepting his rejection without a peep. Listening to him announce his wedding and helping Lavinia plan it. Baring herself to Carlisle, giving him "the tools to destroy her", willingly, to salvage the family name, and to help Bates. And later letting Matthew call her, and himself "cursed", and walking away from it, somehow. Probably because she believes it.
https://preview.redd.it/qit578gnev0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=051641f1ae8d012e74d70975b12d71852fa2cfbe
She told Carson, after Pamuk died, that "she knows what it means to be happy, but she knows she herself will never be happy" and she has proved to have embraced that sentiment, fully. Her despair back then is reflected here. Mary is not looking for happiness. She's just looking for cover. Some place where she can be sure she won't be hurt anymore.
She didn't believe that would be in a marriage with Matthew, and Matthew's strict morals so far, and his own self-hatred, have only further proven to her that she had been correct. She thinks that if Matthew can't excuse himself a kiss with a woman he loved, he won't ever excuse her having sex with a man she didn't love. And for all the unhappiness, all the cold comfort she sees in her future, she at least has his friendship. And how could she ever risk losing that? What would she be left with? Who else is there in the world, that supports her like he has? Her mother, who brought back Lavinia to push her away from Matthew? Her father? Who values the family above all else? Nothing. And no one. Just Matthew.
So she can bear Carlisle's cruelty, his moods and his demands. And she can bear the thought of living life on his arm to be paraded around London society for his benefit. But she can't bear the thought of Matthew thinking ill of her. Can't bear having him look at her the way her mother, or her sister did. And she's so honest here in her pain. She hasn't shown any of it, of the backloads of it, to anyone other than Anna, all season. But she can't keep it in now, after all that, in front of Matthew.
My poor broken child 💔
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She hears Cora yell her name and there's despair in her eyes. Even now she has family obligations to fulfil, so whatever emotional breakthrough she could have made, gets interrupted because heaven forbid she's not there for the Crawleys to play card games with.
Before I forget, Matthew goes after Mary, hoping to help her in her hour of need therefore, Matthew's Villainy points so far: 4
Matthew directs that accusatory look to Cora and I'm so proud of him for that. Cora's involvement in Mary's life has been nothing short of catastrophic. With her only saving grace being the fact that she wasn't actually willing to throw her daughter out of her house. I don't know how she gets to be so worried about the situation now, considering it's, largely, of her own making.
This whole season has been about pain and loss, in its various forms. And Mary's has been largely contained, because that's who she is, she keeps everything close to her heart, especially the things that hurt her. But it's all spilling out in this episode. There's so many things she can't contain, like Carlisle's jealousy, her own grief, at this point, after so many years. And for all those who look, it's the most obvious thing in the world, that Mary is suffering.
Well. Almost all.
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Robert calls Carlisle grabbing Mary in front of her family "an awkward moment", and calls Mary "tired" of Carlisle.
Yes, Robert. Of all the things Mary is feeling at the moment, tiredness is one of them. Not sure if it's the most obvious one, but with you I've learned to bring a small basket.
He also, unlike Matthew, doesn't respect Mary enough to go up to her and ask her if she needs anything from, idk, her father. Some help, some advice. He asks his wife to tell him if he's overlooked anything, and how is the answer to that not "Pretty much everything that's ever happened in this house".
And at this point, I will leave you, because we're half way through and I've already hit both my word, and my image limit. The first one is self-imposed, for the second one, send your grievances @ reddit.

I'm trying to find an artist that has recently privated their YT account. I'm guessing they either no longer like their work or are embarrassed, but I'm really missing one of their remixes.
I'd like to pay them for a copy for personal listening.
I'm autistic and it helps me self-regulate, so having it very suddenly privated is distressing af and physically painful. If you have ND people in your life you'll know what I mean.
Seriously, I would prefer to contact this person and pay a disproportionate amount of money for a YT remix because it's worth that to me, or figure out how to access their privated remixes.
Please Reddit, do your thing.
https://m.youtube.com/c/BlizzyTheOctoling/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=0

Need your expert opinions on choosing a right car for me. Currently looking at 7-8 seater vehicles and would like to go with Toyota Highlander or Sienna. The budget is limited so looking at older years, located in Ontario, Canada but will be speaking miles and USDs. Currently driving 2009 Ford Escape Hybrid, while it's not the most prettiest car inside and has fender and liftgate rust issues it's been reliable for me, bought it at 107k mi and currently at 125k, no major issues and drives strong. It uses the Toyota hybrid tech along with Mazda's reliable V4 2.5L engine. Mpg on this guy is 22 in winter and 26-28 in the summer, so I really liked that although I don't drive a lot. I looked at a private 2010 Highlander hybrid (~8k USD, 170k mi, with great interior condition) and really liked how it drove but unfortunately it has coolant leak, most likely from the head gasket and I'm passing on it.
I've found two options within 200 miles from me, willing to drive. Both are 2012 HiHy, have good carfax history: 1) 135k mi going for $15k USD total cost - interior is 6/10 condition
2) 100k mi going for $18k USD total - interior is 8/10, now this price stretches my budget, but I can pull it off if I want to.
Alternative option: 3) Look for a 2008-2013 gas Highlander, they go for $10k-12k total
I'm also planning to move to the US in about 2-3 years, I could import the car with me and drive it there if needed or sell it here. Considering all this information what would you do? Opinions? Thank you

16-minute read.

the AM-AZ border delimitation in Tavush is drawn with 1976 maps; village Kirants gains access to lands unreachable since the 1990s; loses 4 properties

On May 15 the border commissions of Armenia and Azerbaijan held a meeting to discuss the continuation of the Tavush-Gazakh delimitation. They confirmed the completed work and agreed to continue.
The statement says that parties are using the 1976 maps by Soviet CoGS [the one that Armenia wanted].
A Protocol was signed on the meeting results. The sides agreed to set the date and the place of the next meeting of the Commissions.
REPORTER: What does this mean?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The commissions had installed several border posts to locate the coordinates on the ground. These coordinates were taken from the 1976 maps. Now the cartographers have agreed on the border lines between the posts, again based on the same maps. In other words, the reproduction of the border in these areas is complete and signed, and the border is considered delimited in these sections.
REPORTER: Why the 1976 maps?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: It's the map with de jure power at the time of the collapse of the USSR. The Armenian government announced that we were not drawing a new border, but rather reproducing the existing border at the time of the collapse of the USSR.
REPORTER: The commissions' statement says that these 1976 maps went through legal procedures in 1979. What does it mean, and why didn't we use the 1990 maps?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: In 1979 the relevant USSR authority verified the 1976 maps and their legal basis. These maps were used until the collapse of USSR. These are the most recent maps verified by authorized state agencies of USSR.
REPORTER: Not all border posts have been installed in the convoluted section of Kirants. How will this be resolved? Will you build new roads or houses?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The 3 remaining coordinates of Kirants were pinpointed with the use of a computer and the border posts will be installed later. The rest [another 8 posts in Kirants] are already there. The good news for Kirants is that around 25 hectares of land that have been unreachable for 33 years will be returned to the village. The border resembles the 1976 line. As we said earlier, yes, there is a need to build a bypass road, which can be accomplished in 2-3 months. We will also rebuild the road between H-26 and Acharkut and Kirants, which is an alternative road for Kirants. As for property issues, the volumes are small and the government will compensate in such situations.
REPORTER: What about Baghanis, Berkaber, and Voskepar?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The most sensitive topic in Voskepar was the fate of the church, and on the Voskepar-Baghanis section, it was the Soviet-era road. Both issues received the best resolution: the road is fully within Armenia and so is the church, and the border line is quite far from the road and the church. As for Berkaber, there were no such sensitive topics.
REPORTER: When will the sides deploy border guards?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: Within 8-9 days, and a bit later in the 3 sensitive areas of Kirants after further clarifications. //
On Thursday, PM Nikol Pashinyan spoke about the May 15 border commission.
PASHINYAN: This is a major success for two reasons: (1) A very important cornerstone was placed for the future development of Armenia as an independent and sovereign state, (2) for the first time since independence, we have an officially delimited border, which will significantly increase the level of stability and security in that section and along the entire border. I'd like to thank the border commission leader Deputy PM Mher Grigoryan and all members, and every member of the National Security Council.
I'll provide further details. As you recall from the May 15 statement, it says the borders are delimited based on the 1976 maps that underwent the legal procedures in 1979. As you know, our principle was to reproduce the existing border with de jure power instead of drawing a new one. To accomplish this, we made a reference to the 1991 Almaty Declaration in the April 19 agreement, and it became the basis for the entire delimitation process. On May 15 we specified the 1976 maps; these are the most up-to-date USSR maps with de jure power.
In USSR, a map could be granted a de jure power by a special state agency that collected maps and legal processes and verified their accuracy and legitimacy before confirming the administrative border of Soviet republics. In the area where these delimitations are taking place, in 1979 this USSR state agency verified the 1976 map and it's the most recent map with de jure power.
This was a very important principle for us. We must accept wherever this border passes through. If we chose to draw new borders, that would create a ground for future military conflicts and escalations. The ongoing process, which should not be underestimated or overestimated, abides by the principle of adhering to the legal border and significantly reduces or eliminates possible escalations. This agreement was a major success.
Berkaber: there were no issues here.
Baghanis & Voskepar: at first we thought that some issues could arise here, around the church and, as the locals say, the "old road". If you've ever been there you have seen this road sign, when you pass Baghanis, the sign warns you that the road is being observed [under Azeri scope] and it was not advised to use this road during tense periods. Now, as a result of border delimitation, this road is not only confirmed within Armenia, but it will be safer for travel as a result of the new circumstances [border guards replacing the militarized armed forces, less dispute = less conflicts]. As for the church, we don't have a problem here because the border passes significantly further away from it.
So to recap, we recorded no problems in Berkaber, Baghanis, and Voskepar because we chose to follow the de jure border line and we did so. Following this principle is also why we will have certain problems in Kirants because we don't want to draw an entirely new border. We must use this principle for the entire AM-AZ border, with no exceptions. Not only we are creating a precedence for delimitation, but also a formula to be used for the future entire delimitation process and to make it predictable. If parties decide to make mutual concessions in certain areas, we could discuss the launch of legislative processes to authorize them, but for now, we have agreed on a principle to be used for the entire AM-AZ border. On each section of the border, we will use the most recent USSR maps that hold de jure power.
MHER GRIGORYAN: On May 15 the border commissions also discussed the Regulation and it appears we have an agreement to reflect these principles in the Regulation. Efforts are underway to prepare the Regulation. Azerbaijan wants to continue the border delimitation with the same framework and algorithm used thus far.
PASHINYAN: We should implement the reached agreements in full within 8-10 days. The border guards were deployed in Baghanis-Voskepar around 10 days ago. They were deployed alongside the installation of the white border markers. They are currently studying the terrain to launch the permanent service there. The same will be done in other sections.
source, source, source, source, video,

the list of properties that fall under the Azeri side of the border in Kirants after the delimitation of the 3 problematic sections

1 house, 1 lodging, 1 trailer-shop that doesn't operate, and 1 garage. The government plans to compensate for them and will build a new section of this road that passes fully through Armenia.
source, source, see the map here,

opposition MP from ARF/Kocharyan faction got fed up with protesters' road blocks in Tavush villages

Gegham Nazaryan, a father of a fallen soldier and an opposition MP who - unlike his colleagues - doesn't always engage in toxic exchanges with the ruling party, decided to visit the border village Kirants, where he asked the road blockers to open it.
He engaged in an argument with a protester from another region who came to Kirants to block the road. The MP complained that blocking the road is what Azeris would want.
The MP also engaged with an activist-reporter from an opposition outlet who was covering the road blockings. The MP accused the reporter of "having bad intentions" and of "manipulations". The activist-reporter accused the MP of having secret ties with Pashinyan during an intense yelling match. "Great speech. You call yourself a journalist?", rhetorically asked the opposition MP.
ARF leaders responded saying their MP was not speaking/acting on behalf of the party.
STYOPA SAFARYAN (pro-West figure): MP Gegham Nazaryan also senses that some forces are attempting to carry out Artsakh 2.0 in Armenia by attempting to derail the border delimitation process. //
In related news. The protesters pressured the mayor of Kirants who gave an interview last week and admitted that the delimitation went much better than he expected. On Thursday he offered to resign from his position during a confrontation with an opposition media outlet reporter who was unhappy about the mayor's positive portrayal of the delimitation process.
longer video, video, video, video, source, source,

Armenian government approves a $2 billion permanent housing assistance program for Nagorno-Karabakh refugees; rollout in stages

SOCIAL MINISTRY: We need to provide long-term housing to allow the forcefully displaced persons to socially and economically integrate into Armenia. The program has three components: (1) Obtaining a house or an apartment with a subsidy, (2) building a house with a subsidy, (3) subsidizing the mortgage if the refugee has already purchased a house.

... The size of the subsidy varies depending on the geographical location and the size of the family

(1) ֏5 million ($12,900) per family member to obtain housing in one of the 242 towns or villages.
(2) ֏4 million ($10,300) per family member to obtain housing in one of 148 towns or villages.
(3) ֏3 million ($7,700) per family member for all other settlements except Yerevan's 1st and 2nd Zones.
(4) and ֏2 million ($5,200) if you already have a mortgage.

... Conditions to qualify

(a) Families forcefully displaced after 27 September 2020.
(b) Refugees who accept Armenian citizenship.
(c) The living space cannot be smaller than 12 m² per family member.
(d) The property's value cannot exceed ֏55 million ($141,000).

... If you buy a house cheaper than the subsidy amount, you can use the remaining balance to...

(1) buy agricultural land worth up to ֏5 million
(2) renovate the newly purchased house if necessary, worth up to ֏4 million
(3) buy furniture and appliances, up to ֏2 million

... Which forcefully displaced families do NOT qualify?

(a) If they are already a recipient of another housing program that began immediately after the 2020 war.
(b) If one of the family members owned a house or apartment in Armenia as of 2023-09-19 or at the time of application.

... Conditions if you want to receive aid to build your own house

(a) Select one of the preapproved projects/plans.
(b) The construction company must be licensed in Armenia.

... The assistance will stop if

(a) If two family members under the age of 55 are absent from Armenia for >180 days per year unless they leave Armenia to receive education in one of the top 400 international universities, aviation training, or military training.

... The housing assistance will roll out in phases

The first phase will include families with 3 or more children if they want an apartment or 2+ children if they want a house, low-income families, those who already have a mortgage, families who lost a member in war, and creditworthy families who can take out a separate loan amounting 50% of the assistance size.
The second phase, starting 2026-01-01, will include families with 2 children if they want an apartment or families with 1 child if they want a house.
The third phase, starting 2027-01-01, will include everyone else.

... PM Pashinyan about the refugee housing program

PASHINYAN: The working group has done a lot of work to get here, thank you. Spread the word so people will know the details of this assistance program. No one should be forced to visit or call an office to receive basic details.
We have decided not to adopt a "flat" approach; the amount of aid increases based on the family size and the location of the house. We had to exclude the [expensive and crowded] central parts of Yerevan. We also have to ensure a proportional load on the educational facilities.
If the refugee has an active mortgage loan taken in Armenia, let's say taken in 2016, each family member will receive ֏2 million towards that mortgage. So if you have a family of 6 [Nagorno-Karabakh families are often larger than Armenia-based families], you receive $31,000 to pay off your mortgage.
On the other hand, our brothers and sisters from Nagorno-Karabakh who are well-off and already own a house without an outstanding mortgage balance, won't receive assistance because the goal of this program is to help those who don't have a house.

... How much will this cost?

FINANCE MINISTER: There will be up to 25,000 recipient families, and if we use the averages, it amounts to [voice is starting to crackle] ֏500 billion ($1.3 billion) for the housing costs alone. There will be additional expenses associated with this program. Every year, for the next 10-12 years, we will confirm the annual expenditures. So the overall costs will amount to ֏700-800 billion.
PASHINYAN: So that's roughly a $2 billion investment program in Armenia. Also, by becoming citizens of Armenia to take advantage of this housing program, the refugees won't lose any refugee rights or privileges, and they will not lose the ongoing monthly cash [40+10] assistance programs.
FINANCE MINISTER: We have launched a new line in the migration services to handle the expected uptick in applications in the coming months so people won't face long lines. The passport departments in provinces will begin to handle citizenship applications just for refugees; today this is only possible in Yerevan.
video,

EU's EBRD and US's USAID to develop connectivity in the South Caucasus

During the EBRD forum held in Yerevan, the two signed a Memorandum of Understanding to develop the Trans-Caspian International Transport Route, also known as the Middle Corridor, to further enhance connectivity between Asia and Europe via the South Caucasus.
It's about expanding trade, green energy, investment, as well as transport and digital infrastructure in Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Georgia.

The MoU seeks to enhance the planning, design and construction of critical energy, transport, digital and agricultural infrastructure in the region. It also aims to: improve the efficiency of customs, tariff and border operations; attract private capital investment into the South Caucasus economies for the development of the Middle Corridor; and adopt the highest international standards to promote economic connectivity with Europe and among South Caucasus countries.

source,

other EBRD projects were announced

source,

Lake Sevan is back to 2021 levels after the heavy precipitation in May: VIDEO

OFFICIAL: As of May, the level was 1900.46, which is 2 cm higher than the 2021 mark and 29 cm higher than January 1.
2021 was a harmful year for Sevan because of unprecedented heat waves. In June 2021 there was an evaporation of 153M m³ water, which was a historical high, while the precipitation on the surface was only 4.8M m^3, which was 4x lower than the previous historical low [WTF?]. Also, the river flow was at 40%. As a result of all this, instead of the usual 7 cm increase for June, we observed a 10 cm decline.
This year the conditions have been much better. We are finally back to the May 2021 levels. The rains filled it up from above, and the Arpa-Sevan tunnel from below the rocks. This tunnel has already brought 89M m³ this year, which is 2x more than last year.
Another contributing factor is the reduced reliance on Sevan for irrigation because the agricultural fields are still wet. Last year we had to tap into Sevan starting May 14. This year the government hasn't even summoned a meeting to authorize a release of water.
The 5 largest reservoirs currently hold 605M m^3, up by 240M. Only the Aparan reservoir is lacking. In Ketchut reservoir the water is above the famous "flowers" (margaritka). This is the first time in 5 years that the water is above the margaritkas. When the water rises above margaritkas, it drops down and flows into Lake Sevan. Overall, 90% of the water entering Sevan is wasted by evaporation.
REPORTER: Rains will return starting May 22.
video,

EBRD will provide $10 million to finance the Armenian private sector’s investments in growth, competitiveness, and greener and more sustainable practices

upgrading their production facilities and processes to EU standards. At least 70 per cent of the loans will go to support the green transition. Borrowers will receive incentive grants and technical advice funded by the European Union

source,

anti-corruption: former MP from Gagik Tsarukyan's BHK party is arrested under the suspicion of defrauding several homebuyers through real estate machinations

AUTHORITIES: Ex-MP Aragats Akhoyan's construction companies collected ֏274 million from several prospective apartment buyers in 2010-2014. He pocketed the funds.
source, source, video,

Armenia signs Council of Europe's Bioethics Convention

The Oviedo Convention is the only international legal instrument that defines the principles for the protection of human rights in the field of medicine and biological medicine.
FM Mirzoyan met Marija Burić on Thursday in Strasbourg to sign it.
source,

Armenia will open an embassy in Cyprus

Currently, Armenia’s Ambassador to Greece also serves as Ambassador to Cyprus. The seat of the Cypriot Embassy in Armenia is in Moscow.
In March Cyprus said it would open an embassy in Yerevan.
source,

Belarus leader Lukashenko suggests he and Ilham Aliyev discussed the 2020 war before it began

Lukashenko is in Baku to strengthen the strategic AZ-BY relations.
LUKASHENKO: We are brothers and we have a common vision of the world and where it's headed. I remember our conversation before the 2020 war, your liberation war, when we had a philosophical debate at a dinner table. At the time we came to the conclusion that it's possible to win the war. That's important. It's very important to preserve that victory. I also agreed with you at the time that the most difficult period would come after the liberation of the lands. Today is that difficult period when we have to revive those lands and return people, while others will born there. It'll be difficult to revive these lands in 5-10 years; it requires extensive work. Belarus is ready to help Azerbaijan. //
Nikol should have greeted Putin at the airport to avoid the war.
source,

Luxembourg lawmakers urge government to act for implementation of World Court orders by Azerbaijan

Deputies have unanimously adopted a motion asking the government to act for the implementation of the ICC orders by Azerbaijan.
The MPs urge to demand from Azerbaijan an immediate release of all Armenian prisoners of war, support peace between Armenia and Azerbaijan, expand the partnership between Armenia and EU, support the normalization of relations between Armenia and Turkey, deepen the diplomatic relations between Armenia and Luxembourg.
source,

ranking member of Armenia's ruling party about EU membership

The MP Khandanyan says Pashinyan has already announced that Armenia wants to deepen ties with the EU as much as possible and that how soon Armenia submits a bid to become an EU candidate will depend on the signals coming from the EU. In general, today the EU is not ready to expand because some EU members oppose it, said Khandanyan. When the EU sends a signal that it's ready, Armenia will "accelerate" the steps, said Khandanyan, adding that Armenia itself has already sent that "signal" that it wants closer integration with the EU.
But first, Khandanyan says Armenia must improve its resilience because the transitional phase will be full of risks. Armenia expects the EU's assistance to improve the resilience [reduce reliance on Russia].
source,

Բրյուսելի հանդիպման արդյունքներով ԵՄ-ն կշարունակի նպաստել ՀՀ տնտեսական զարգացմանը

PM Pashinyan hosted EU's Trade Commissioner Valdis Dombrovskis to discuss the implementation of the economic agreements reached on April 5 in Brussels to improve Armenia's resilience.
Pashinyan also called for the EU's assistance in implementing the refugee housing program adopted by the Government this morning.
The EU Trade Commissioner said the EU will continue to assist Armenia's development, including in the areas of energy, infrastructure, diversification of markets, implementation of higher standards, improvement of business environment, etc.
source, other meeting, other meeting,

U.S. Ambassador Kvien is "optimistic about the opportunities offered by Armenia to U.S. and other foreign companies"

A meeting was held at the central bank building participated by Ambassador Kvien and other guests of the EBRD forum that's being held in Yerevan this year.
Ambassador Kvien also highlighted Armenia's high economic growth rate in recent years.
source,

Armenia's membership to EAEU is beneficial for Armenia: Moscow

DEPUTY FM of RUSSIA: I don't know what the Armenian leadership plans to do in the future, but EAEU is undoubtedly a mutually beneficial process. This is reflected in the economic growth figures of Armenia.
source,

Armenian government invites the head of Metsamor nuclear plant to join talks with European Commission officials

The infrastructure ministry and NPP chief met a delegation led by the European Commission's Deputy Director-General for International Cooperation and Development Marjeta Jager.
The European Commission official thanked for the invitation and welcomed the steps by the Armenian government towards the energy reforms in Armenia. They spoke about NPP's operation and future plans.
They discussed the exchange of experience and financial programs.
source,

Armenia and European Commission officials discussed the implementation of April 5 agreements reached in Brussels

The head of the European Commission's Neighbourhood and Enlargement Negotiations Adrienn Kiraly was hosted by foreign ministry on Thursday.
They discussed programs to improve Armenia's resilience under the April 5 agreement, the full implementation of CEPA and its expansion.
source,

Moscow released a somewhat misleading statement after the recent meeting between Pashinyan and Putin, according to National Security Council chief Armen Grigoryan

According to Grigoryan, Pashinyan did not "ask" Putin to maintain troops on the borders with Turkey and Iran. According to Grigoryan, Pashinyan asked Putin to remove the Russian guards from Yerevan's airport and AM-AZ border, and when Putin asked Pashinyan if he also wanted to remove them from TR and IR border, Pashinyan said "no", because those guards were installed under a different agreement. Context in Wednesday news digest.
Grigoryan also criticized Russia's attempts to stoke divisions between Armenia and Iran by presenting the EU observer mission as anti-Iranian. Grigoryan demanded Russia present evidence of the EU mission carrying out activities outside of their AM-AZ border monitoring mission. "Iran has already expressed its stance. I don't understand why Russia is attempting to use the EU's Monitoring Mission to cause issues," said Grigoryan.
source,

Armenia's NatSec chief Armen Grigoryan advised Russia to improve its own human rights conditions and freedom of speech before commenting on Armenia's internal affairs

Russia's foreign ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova recently complained about Armenian police using force to clear the roads blocked by pro-Russian party activists. Zakharova also complained that the West wasn't criticizing the Armenian government for it.
NatSec GRIGORYAN: Armenian protesters have been able to fully exercise their freedom of speech during legally organized rallies. Illegal actions are obviously countered by police. Perhaps Russia should first look at itself before criticizing us.
REPORTER: Look at what? Russia doesn't have opposition, how can they oppress something that doesn't exist?
ARMEN GRIGORYAN: Russia should discuss its own kitchen. The developments in Armenia are not related to Russia.... or are they? If these protests are tied to Russia, Moscow should directly say so. If Moscow sees a problem, they must say it directly, and not do so by dragging others like they did in the case of Iran and the EU Mission.
source,

during a meeting in Yerevan, Jordan's foreign ministry expressed concern over the attempted takeover of part of the Armenian district of Jerusalem

The Deputy FM of Jordan met his Armenian counterpart in Yerevan to discuss bilateral relations and regional issues. The parties criticized the attempts to change the status quo in Jerusalem.
source,

Pashinyan and Diaspora Office held a meeting about the iGorts professional repatriation program: VIDEO

source,

monkeys could soon become smarter than you

Are monkeys entering the stone age? Capuchin primates were filmed using tools to dig for food underground, days after an orangutan treated its own wound with plant.
The footage joins a growing number of studies looking into the tiny South American primate's use of stone and stick tools, an emerging field that some research universities now describe as 'documenting the Monkey Stone Age in real-time.'
video,

I'm trying to find an artist that has recently privated their YT account. I'm guessing they either no longer like their work or are embarrassed, but I'm really missing one of their remixes.
I'd like to pay them for a copy for personal listening.
I'm autistic and it helps me self-regulate, so having it very suddenly privated is distressing af and physically painful. If you have ND people in your life you'll know what I mean. I've been crying for hours I am not okay
Seriously, I would prefer to contact this person and pay a disproportionate amount of money for a YT remix because it's worth that to me, or figure out how to access their privated remixes.
Please Reddit, do your thing.
https://m.youtube.com/c/BlizzyTheOctoling/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=0

I'm trying to find an artist that has recently privated their YT account. I'm guessing they either no longer like their work or are embarrassed, but I'm really missing one of their remixes.
I'd like to pay them for a copy for personal listening.
I'm autistic and it helps me self-regulate, so having it very suddenly privated is distressing af and physically painful. If you have ND people in your life you'll know what I mean.
Seriously, I would prefer to contact this person and pay a disproportionate amount of money for a YT remix because it's worth that to me, or figure out how to access their privated remixes.
Please Reddit, do your thing.
https://m.youtube.com/c/BlizzyTheOctoling/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=0

Also on AOAIBetrayeds. is an online peer support group and safe space reserved for betrayed individuals who are considering, actively attempting to, or have reconciled after infidelity. If you feel you would benefit from a more private supportive sub for only betrayed people, message the mods at or send me a DM.
tl;dr's at the bottom.
From MY perspective.
Context: Me: 59m. Her: 55f. Married 33 years, together 36. WW had a full on EA bookended with multiple sexual PA's (1 in Dec, 2022 and 3 in Sept, 2023 (last 2 on Dday). She then pretended to go NC with AP for an additional 5 months which created Dday #2 in February. Read my story and updates using my profile for posts if you want to see background.
https://www.reddit.com/useDiscardbobulated/submitted/
UNDERSTANDING
Betrayal is destructive. Betrayal is debilitating. Betrayal is painful. It hurts not just our relationships, but our minds, our bodies, and our souls. It crushes us in ways we did not know we could be crushed.
It changes us. It changes our minds, our bodies, our outlooks on life, and so much more.
Betrayal steals from us. It steals our ability to trust. It steals our innocence. It steals our confidence, our self-esteem, and our calm. Betrayal steals our ability to feel joy.
You know what it does to us that is maybe the most egregious thing? It makes us feel like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
I have spent a lot of time on this sub and I have read a lot of stories of pain and suffering. I have also been the one in pain. The one suffering. I’m still hurting. I still suffer. The betrayed, like me, read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos, and read articles. And you know what most of them do, myself included? They SHARE these materials with their spouses.
WHY? I feel like a huge part of why they do it is to share the part of the writing/podcast/video that mirrors or somehow explains how they are feeling. They want their spouse to know what it is they are going through.
And why do they want to do that? Why is it so important? I think it is because the betrayed are desperately trying to understand their own feelings as well. They are trying to categorize the pain. They are trying to understand an incredible array of brand new and completely overwhelming emotions they have never experienced before. And when they read that what they are going through is NORMAL and the THEY are NORMAL, they want to share that because it is a huge relief to find out that this new insanity is not, in fact, insanity at all.
I am one of these people. I have watched the videos, listened to the podcasts, read the articles and the books.
You know how a lot of books about infidelity or betrayal trauma start out? They start out with an explanation of all these new emotions. They start out describing the emotions in stark terms like I have used here like debilitating, devastating, or painful. They also throw in descriptions of the pain and the suicidal ideation that often accompany these drastic emotions. I think these books start with this because this helps to satisfy the most IMMEDIATE need of the betrayed: To feel like someone UNDERSTANDS.
So we read these books, and we give them to our spouses to read. I highlighted the parts that I felt helped to explain what I was feeling. There were A LOT of highlights. That’s because the feelings are so common among the betrayed. There are variations of course, but each of us feels a lot of the same things.
The feelings run the gamut. In no particular order: Low self-worth Suicidal ideation Physical pain Anxiety Fear Depression Feeling stupid Impending doom Sadness Embarrassment Shame Feeling like a chump Numbness Betrayal
Hatred Anger Self-Esteem issues Distrust Hopelessness Loneliness
And what we want is for those who are our support people to understand these feelings. And often the most important person we feel needs to understand is our spouse. After all, if they do not know how we feel, they cannot help us to recover. The problem is, that even we as the betrayed have never had these feelings to the extreme extent that we now have them. We probably have never felt them all together at the same time before. We have read about these feelings. Each of the above listed feelings is something that we know of when we read it. But we had no idea of the INTENSITY of each of them and how they can be intertwined to create an insurmountable-feeling array of emotion that is near-impossible to articulate.
So we seek someone else to articulate these feelings and emotions in a way that makes sense. We read the books and the articles and listen to the podcasts. And when the speaker or writer gets the words right to explain how we are feeling we want to point to those words and show our spouse and say: “Look! I’m NORMAL! I feel this feeling like the book says betrayed people feel! Now can you understand?”
But we know that if WE read these descriptions without having been betrayed, we would never, EVER have truly understood the DEPTH of the feelings. The VICIOUSNESS of the emotions. The sheer debilitating devastation of what these feelings are doing to us. And if we could not have imagined this intensity, then we KNOW that our spouse cannot POSSIBLY imagine the intensity either. Even if we said: “It’s like sadness only REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD sadness.” That’s not going to portray the gravity of the sadness we know inside that we feel. That’s because the WORDS are not FEELINGS.
So we come here to subs like AOAIBetrayeds or SupportForBetrayed or others desperately seeking other people who may UNDERSTAND how we feel so that we can truly know that WE ARE NORMAL. And it’s not that the WORDS are any different in one of these subs than they are as written by some PhD Author who has supported those with infidelity trauma. The words are exactly the same. But the knowledge that this other stranger on the sub has ALSO been betrayed gives us comfort that they have the CAPACITY to ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND. Again, it’s because WE KNOW that WE OURSELVES could not possibly have understood prior to our experience of being betrayed. We knew the WORDS, but we did NOT understand the FEELINGS the way we do now. And we know those who haven’t been betrayed can’t have what we really need: Empathy.
EMPATHY
In our desperation to have our primary support person have real empathy, we read more books. Share more passages with them, and tell them every day how we are feeling. We cry in front of them. We writhe in pain in front of them. We express depression, our feeling suicidal, our pain. We ask them if they understand. They tell us they do, but since we fully understand that no one can ever really know without having been there, we are not satisfied. And because we are not satisfied, our traumatized brain tries to find other ways to convey our need to have our spouse TRULY empathize with us. One of those ways is to lash out at them. To make sure that they have a full understanding of how bad a person they are. How their decisions and actions have created havoc in our lives. How they are selfish, thoughtless, pigs. They are bad spouses, bad parents, bad sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and friends. We blame, finger wag, blame, scream, blame, and completely unleash upon them every bit of vitriol we can muster to throw at them. We do this because WE WANT THEM TO HURT LIKE WE HURT. We want EMPATHY. It doesn’t work, of course. Because deep down we understand the truth. And that truth is that those who have not been betrayed, cannot, and will never, truly understand what it is to be betrayed and the depth and gravity of the devastation that it causes. It’s just not possible.
So we have a thought: If only the betrayed can understand, and we need them to understand, then we could take it to its logical conclusion: We need to BETRAY THEM. This is where REVENGE CHEATING becomes a thought. The idea is, of course, that if we could only betray them sufficiently, then they would UNDERSTAND how we feel and finally be able to have true EMPATHY.
The problem with that is: The wayward spouse is not a fully trusting, loving, blindly believing spouse. They are not US. They will experience the revenge cheating differently than the blindsided betrayed experienced the cheating that destroyed them. It is not possible for the cheater to understand the emotions of the betrayed. Not even if they are cheated on.
The very basic bottom line is that we betrayed want to be UNDERSTOOD. That understanding would be easy if our wayward spouses could just spend 10 minutes in our brains. 10 minutes of real, pure experience of what we are experiencing would be invaluable. Unfortunately, no device has been yet invented than can allow them that horrible privilege.
We want other things too. We want our spouses to apologize. We want them to feel some feelings that we know should come from someone who caused us the devastation that we are living through. Feelings like shame, guilt, remorse. We want from them atonement. And all of these things would be SO EASY for them to be able to feel if they truly UNDERSTOOD us and had real EMPATHY. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, that’s impossible. They can read the descriptions, but they’ll never feel the feelings.
So what are we to do?
You’re going to hate this, but after all this reading, I’m going to say…I don’t know.
I think the necessary step to start with is to really explain to your spouse how you feel. Explain to them using your words or allow them to see you cry, or wail, or whatever it is you feel so that they can experience as much as possible.
Then give them the books, the podcasts, the videos and the articles. Show them that the words you are using to describe your experience are not those of an outlier but are NORMAL. That these feelings are ACCEPTABLE and EXPECTED. Then you have to just let them come to some conclusions on their own about how they feel about what they have done to you. “Patience you must have, my young Padawan.*"
*I am working on my own capacity for patience. I'm not good at it.
I am at a place today where I have started to wean myself off the destructive circular pattern of blaming her, complaining to her, explaining my pain, the repeating that circle. Complain, Explain, Blame, Complain, Explain, Blame. I have finally reached a place where, at least tentatively, I have come to feel like I have asked all the questions that need to be asked. I have also explained to her my pain to the extent that I can. As I stated above, true and full empathy will never be possible. For now at least I feel like I understand that and can rest assured that to the extent she can, even if that extent is woefully under the extent that I wish it was, she understands.
One thing I did to get to this place was write down all of the questions I could think of. I wrote down questions like: What time of day did you go to his place for sex that day? Were you sober? What made you go there? What were you thinking? And I wrote down the questions that I know I don’t want answers to. Sexual details. Positions, acts, etc. I have already asked a few of those and have found that they have caused disturbing mind movies with me. I needed to ask them though, because prior to asking, the questions themselves were rolling around in my head and not allowing me to sleep. Your mileage may vary.
I have set aside the questions that I know would haunt me depending on their answer. I have also come to the conclusion that a lot of the questions could only cause me harm, like: Was the sex better with him than with me? If she answers YES, then the damage of that is obvious. But if she answers NO, I will likely be forever convinced that she was probably lying. And lies are, as we all know, a huge scourge to us. These questions will never be asked.
I have now explained how I feel enough times to feel like she understands as well as she possibly can. I have told her repeatedly of how much pain she has caused so that I think she understands that also.
There is nothing more that I can do on these fronts. For this reason I’m going to stop with the circular pattern. I’m going to try to be calm. I’m going to try to not lash out. I’m going to try to not blame.
I truly UNDERSTAND that I have done all that I can on this front. Hopefully I am right.
Fuck these affairs.
TL;DR’s: We all want to be UNDERSTOOD. It is the primary need of the betrayed and is in some ways impossible. Projecting anger and vitriol at your WP will reach a point of diminished return. When you get there, be ready to accept that and try to move to another stage in your recovery.

Also on AOAIBetrayeds. is an online peer support group and safe space reserved for betrayed individuals who are considering, actively attempting to, or have reconciled after infidelity. If you feel you would benefit from a more private supportive sub for only betrayed people, message the mods at or send me a DM.
tl;dr's at the bottom.
From MY perspective.
Context: Me: 59m. Her: 55f. Married 33 years, together 36. WW had a full on EA bookended with multiple sexual PA's (1 in Dec, 2022 and 3 in Sept, 2023 (last 2 on Dday). She then pretended to go NC with AP for an additional 5 months which created Dday #2 in February. Read my story and updates using my profile for posts if you want to see background.
https://www.reddit.com/useDiscardbobulated/submitted/
UNDERSTANDING
Betrayal is destructive. Betrayal is debilitating. Betrayal is painful. It hurts not just our relationships, but our minds, our bodies, and our souls. It crushes us in ways we did not know we could be crushed.
It changes us. It changes our minds, our bodies, our outlooks on life, and so much more.
Betrayal steals from us. It steals our ability to trust. It steals our innocence. It steals our confidence, our self-esteem, and our calm. Betrayal steals our ability to feel joy.
You know what it does to us that is maybe the most egregious thing? It makes us feel like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
I have spent a lot of time on this sub and I have read a lot of stories of pain and suffering. I have also been the one in pain. The one suffering. I’m still hurting. I still suffer. The betrayed, like me, read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos, and read articles. And you know what most of them do, myself included? They SHARE these materials with their spouses.
WHY? I feel like a huge part of why they do it is to share the part of the writing/podcast/video that mirrors or somehow explains how they are feeling. They want their spouse to know what it is they are going through.
And why do they want to do that? Why is it so important? I think it is because the betrayed are desperately trying to understand their own feelings as well. They are trying to categorize the pain. They are trying to understand an incredible array of brand new and completely overwhelming emotions they have never experienced before. And when they read that what they are going through is NORMAL and the THEY are NORMAL, they want to share that because it is a huge relief to find out that this new insanity is not, in fact, insanity at all.
I am one of these people. I have watched the videos, listened to the podcasts, read the articles and the books.
You know how a lot of books about infidelity or betrayal trauma start out? They start out with an explanation of all these new emotions. They start out describing the emotions in stark terms like I have used here like debilitating, devastating, or painful. They also throw in descriptions of the pain and the suicidal ideation that often accompany these drastic emotions. I think these books start with this because this helps to satisfy the most IMMEDIATE need of the betrayed: To feel like someone UNDERSTANDS.
So we read these books, and we give them to our spouses to read. I highlighted the parts that I felt helped to explain what I was feeling. There were A LOT of highlights. That’s because the feelings are so common among the betrayed. There are variations of course, but each of us feels a lot of the same things.
The feelings run the gamut. In no particular order: Low self-worth Suicidal ideation Physical pain Anxiety Fear Depression Feeling stupid Impending doom Sadness Embarrassment Shame Feeling like a chump Numbness Betrayal
Hatred Anger Self-Esteem issues Distrust Hopelessness Loneliness
And what we want is for those who are our support people to understand these feelings. And often the most important person we feel needs to understand is our spouse. After all, if they do not know how we feel, they cannot help us to recover. The problem is, that even we as the betrayed have never had these feelings to the extreme extent that we now have them. We probably have never felt them all together at the same time before. We have read about these feelings. Each of the above listed feelings is something that we know of when we read it. But we had no idea of the INTENSITY of each of them and how they can be intertwined to create an insurmountable-feeling array of emotion that is near-impossible to articulate.
So we seek someone else to articulate these feelings and emotions in a way that makes sense. We read the books and the articles and listen to the podcasts. And when the speaker or writer gets the words right to explain how we are feeling we want to point to those words and show our spouse and say: “Look! I’m NORMAL! I feel this feeling like the book says betrayed people feel! Now can you understand?”
But we know that if WE read these descriptions without having been betrayed, we would never, EVER have truly understood the DEPTH of the feelings. The VICIOUSNESS of the emotions. The sheer debilitating devastation of what these feelings are doing to us. And if we could not have imagined this intensity, then we KNOW that our spouse cannot POSSIBLY imagine the intensity either. Even if we said: “It’s like sadness only REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD sadness.” That’s not going to portray the gravity of the sadness we know inside that we feel. That’s because the WORDS are not FEELINGS.
So we come here to subs like AOAIBetrayeds or SupportForBetrayed or others desperately seeking other people who may UNDERSTAND how we feel so that we can truly know that WE ARE NORMAL. And it’s not that the WORDS are any different in one of these subs than they are as written by some PhD Author who has supported those with infidelity trauma. The words are exactly the same. But the knowledge that this other stranger on the sub has ALSO been betrayed gives us comfort that they have the CAPACITY to ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND. Again, it’s because WE KNOW that WE OURSELVES could not possibly have understood prior to our experience of being betrayed. We knew the WORDS, but we did NOT understand the FEELINGS the way we do now. And we know those who haven’t been betrayed can’t have what we really need: Empathy.
EMPATHY
In our desperation to have our primary support person have real empathy, we read more books. Share more passages with them, and tell them every day how we are feeling. We cry in front of them. We writhe in pain in front of them. We express depression, our feeling suicidal, our pain. We ask them if they understand. They tell us they do, but since we fully understand that no one can ever really know without having been there, we are not satisfied. And because we are not satisfied, our traumatized brain tries to find other ways to convey our need to have our spouse TRULY empathize with us. One of those ways is to lash out at them. To make sure that they have a full understanding of how bad a person they are. How their decisions and actions have created havoc in our lives. How they are selfish, thoughtless, pigs. They are bad spouses, bad parents, bad sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and friends. We blame, finger wag, blame, scream, blame, and completely unleash upon them every bit of vitriol we can muster to throw at them. We do this because WE WANT THEM TO HURT LIKE WE HURT. We want EMPATHY. It doesn’t work, of course. Because deep down we understand the truth. And that truth is that those who have not been betrayed, cannot, and will never, truly understand what it is to be betrayed and the depth and gravity of the devastation that it causes. It’s just not possible.
So we have a thought: If only the betrayed can understand, and we need them to understand, then we could take it to its logical conclusion: We need to BETRAY THEM. This is where REVENGE CHEATING becomes a thought. The idea is, of course, that if we could only betray them sufficiently, then they would UNDERSTAND how we feel and finally be able to have true EMPATHY.
The problem with that is: The wayward spouse is not a fully trusting, loving, blindly believing spouse. They are not US. They will experience the revenge cheating differently than the blindsided betrayed experienced the cheating that destroyed them. It is not possible for the cheater to understand the emotions of the betrayed. Not even if they are cheated on.
The very basic bottom line is that we betrayed want to be UNDERSTOOD. That understanding would be easy if our wayward spouses could just spend 10 minutes in our brains. 10 minutes of real, pure experience of what we are experiencing would be invaluable. Unfortunately, no device has been yet invented than can allow them that horrible privilege.
We want other things too. We want our spouses to apologize. We want them to feel some feelings that we know should come from someone who caused us the devastation that we are living through. Feelings like shame, guilt, remorse. We want from them atonement. And all of these things would be SO EASY for them to be able to feel if they truly UNDERSTOOD us and had real EMPATHY. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, that’s impossible. They can read the descriptions, but they’ll never feel the feelings.
So what are we to do?
You’re going to hate this, but after all this reading, I’m going to say…I don’t know.
I think the necessary step to start with is to really explain to your spouse how you feel. Explain to them using your words or allow them to see you cry, or wail, or whatever it is you feel so that they can experience as much as possible.
Then give them the books, the podcasts, the videos and the articles. Show them that the words you are using to describe your experience are not those of an outlier but are NORMAL. That these feelings are ACCEPTABLE and EXPECTED. Then you have to just let them come to some conclusions on their own about how they feel about what they have done to you. “Patience you must have, my young Padawan.*"
*I am working on my own capacity for patience. I'm not good at it.
I am at a place today where I have started to wean myself off the destructive circular pattern of blaming her, complaining to her, explaining my pain, the repeating that circle. Complain, Explain, Blame, Complain, Explain, Blame. I have finally reached a place where, at least tentatively, I have come to feel like I have asked all the questions that need to be asked. I have also explained to her my pain to the extent that I can. As I stated above, true and full empathy will never be possible. For now at least I feel like I understand that and can rest assured that to the extent she can, even if that extent is woefully under the extent that I wish it was, she understands.
One thing I did to get to this place was write down all of the questions I could think of. I wrote down questions like: What time of day did you go to his place for sex that day? Were you sober? What made you go there? What were you thinking? And I wrote down the questions that I know I don’t want answers to. Sexual details. Positions, acts, etc. I have already asked a few of those and have found that they have caused disturbing mind movies with me. I needed to ask them though, because prior to asking, the questions themselves were rolling around in my head and not allowing me to sleep. Your mileage may vary.
I have set aside the questions that I know would haunt me depending on their answer. I have also come to the conclusion that a lot of the questions could only cause me harm, like: Was the sex better with him than with me? If she answers YES, then the damage of that is obvious. But if she answers NO, I will likely be forever convinced that she was probably lying. And lies are, as we all know, a huge scourge to us. These questions will never be asked.
I have now explained how I feel enough times to feel like she understands as well as she possibly can. I have told her repeatedly of how much pain she has caused so that I think she understands that also.
There is nothing more that I can do on these fronts. For this reason I’m going to stop with the circular pattern. I’m going to try to be calm. I’m going to try to not lash out. I’m going to try to not blame.
I truly UNDERSTAND that I have done all that I can on this front. Hopefully I am right.
Fuck these affairs.
TL;DR’s: We all want to be UNDERSTOOD. It is the primary need of the betrayed and is in some ways impossible. Projecting anger and vitriol at your WP will reach a point of diminished return. When you get there, be ready to accept that and try to move to another stage in your recovery.

Important:

To use the new builds you need to use new Micro G versions. First you need to uninstall your old Micro G version. Then you need to install one of the 3 versions listed below:

• ReVanced/GmsCore (Official, Default, Recommended)
• WSTxda/MicroG RE (Modern UI, more optimized)
• YT-Advanced/GmsCore (More optimized)

After you've done that make sure to disable Battery Optimizations.

• Settings > Battery > 3-dots menu > Battery optimization > All apps > microG Services > Don't optimize. OR microG Settings > Self check > Tap Disable battery optimization. (not tap the checkbox, tap the text) (Ignore other self check items. It's not related to ReVanced GmsCore)

Builds:

RVX (recontinued & experimental playback fix):
Compiled on RVX Manager v1.20.2 (inotia00) with Revanced Extended patches v4.8.0-dev.6. You can also patch the apps yourself but if you don't have time for it, simply don't want to do it or don't know how to do it you can use my builds.
Youtube RVX v19.16.39:

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

To fix the playback issues use the latest YouTube RVX Build and try to enable the following features:

• My profile -> Settings -> ReVanced Extended -> Miscellaneous -> Experimental Flags -> Spoof format stream data (Enable this first and test if it works if it doesn't try the second feature and disable this one again)
• My profile -> Settings -> ReVanced Extended -> Miscellaneous -> Experimental Flags -> Spoof test client (This feature should work but it will break a lot of YouTube features if it also doesn't work or you don't want to loose any YouTube features check out this post)

YT Music RVX v6.51.52:

• Arm64-v8a Virustotal Result
  
• Armeabi-v7a Virustotal Result
  

In version 6.31.55 YouTube removed the Old Layout Code so any version over 6.29.58 can't revert to the old Layout anymore
YT Music RVX v6.29.58 (Old-Layout)

• Arm64-v8a Virustotal Result
  
• Armeabi-v7a Virustotal Result
  

Reddit RVX v2024.07.0 (temporarily discontinued because of APKTool issues):

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

RVX Manager v1.20.2 (Arm64-v8a only):

• Download via Github

ReVanced:
Compiled on ReVanced Manager v1.20.1 with Revanced patches v4.7.0.
Youtube ReVanced v19.11.43:

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

YT Music 6.50.51:

• Arm64-v8a Virustotal Result
  
• Armeabi-v7a Virustotal Result
  

ReVanced Manager v1.21.0-dev.3 (Arm64-v8a only):

• Download via Github

ReX (discontinued):
Compiled on RVX Manager v1.18.1 with ReX-Patches v2.220.10.
Youtube v19.05.36:

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

YT Music v6.41.49:

• Arm64-v8a Virustotal Result
  
• Armeabi-v7a Virustotal Result
  

Reddit v2024.14.0:

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

RVX Android 6-7 (nothing updated):
Compiled on Revancify with revanced-patches-android6-7 v2.160.9.
Youtube v17.34.46:

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

RVX Android 5 (nothing updated)
Compiled on ReVanced Manager A5-7 v1.17.1 (kitadai31) with ReVanced Patches Android 5 v2.161.4.
YouTube v16.40.36

• Download via Filen
• Virustotal Result

Known Issues:

• Videos on the feed are unclickable. It might be possible to fix this with a patch but I'm not sure if it's feasible at all. The current workaround is to add the videos into a playlist and watch them there.
• Opening the video settings menu crashes the app. This is a app-related issue caused by the spoof patch.

ReVanced Manager A5-7 v1.18.0 (Some Armeabi-v7a devices don't work):

• Download via Github

Changelogs:

RVX:
YouTube:

• feat(YouTube): clarify in-app strings #47
• feat(YouTube/Hide feed components): add Hide videos by duration and Hide videos by views count greater than specified value setting #48
• fix(YouTube/Description components): crash occurs when the title of the engagement panel is null inotia00/ReVanced_Extended#2008
• fix(YouTube/Hide action buttons): some action buttons are not hidden properly inotia00/ReVanced_Extended#2023
• fix(YouTube/Hide ads): Hide ads patch does not work on YouTube 18.29.38
• fix(YouTube/Hide feed components): Hide mix playlists setting hides components in channel profile inotia00/ReVanced_Extended#2024
• fix(YouTube/Return YouTube Dislike): dislike count sometimes not shown in Shorts inotia00/ReVanced_Extended#1565
• fix(YouTube/Spoof format stream data): some Uris are not hooked
• fix(YouTube/Spoof test client): spoofing does not work correctly when the Spoof app version setting is turned on
• fix(YouTube/Video playback): default video quality does not apply to shorts
• feat(YouTube/Translations): update translation

YouTube Music:

• feat(YouTube Music): clarify in-app strings #47
• feat(YouTube Music/Player components): add Hide audio video switch toggle setting inotia00/ReVanced_Extended#2009
• feat(YouTube Music/Translations): update translation

I may automate the builds over GitHub Actions in the future to provide updates faster. If I do this Armeabi-v7a will most likely be discontinued and the sub will be opened for all members to discuss issues, features and news.
For prebuilts for all ReVanced, RVX, YT-Advanced Patchable apps join my TG Channel: @TooMuchVancedBuilds

There’s this guy, we’ll call Jay, I knew for a good year, through local military and political channels online. He was angry and a bit grouchy, but I agreed with his takes on most things.
I moved to a different state for work, but had a lot of connections at the old place, so checked in on the pages and groups I was part of, here and there. April saw a friend request from Jay and I accepted.
In July, after a blow up online that I questioned, Jay confided that his wife had been cheating on him and he found out the night before his retirement ceremony that January. He’d been trying to get past it for the sake of the kids, and of course the finances and societal and family views. He’s from a pretty strict family that doesn’t condone divorce. A cousin of his divorced her husband and the family shuns her to this day. Jay was going on 30 years married and it pretty much upended everything.
When he started talking about little things that meant a lot to her that he would refuse, like taking couples pictures, posting together online, etc, I flat out told him that if he was committed to getting past it, he was going to have to try. I referred him to counseling services, for himself and as a couple.
In Aug, I went back to see my kids, and we saw eachother in person for the first time. Talked for a bit and went on our way. The next morning was the first red flag my blind eyes saw… a post from him on his page about the most exquisite sunset he’s ever seen. I have red hair. I blocked him on everything. May have been harsh, but I had enough drama in my own life already at that point, going through a divorce myself.
He used linked in and his son’s Xbox account to message me in what used to be Google hangout. He was supposedly devastated I’d do that after meeting him. If I was disappointed in what I met, I could’ve just said so. Etc. I explained my issue. He seemed genuinely embarrassed, apologized. He had me thinking I overreacted and it didn’t mean that much. He pleaded to just be friends.
A couple of weeks later, they took a family trip and he posted a picture of the two of them and of the entire family. He did his thing, I did mine. It was just as before again. No harm really done.
Fast forward a couple months and he was getting angry and blowing up online again. I asked him if he’d been to counseling and he said yes, but his marriage was over. He couldn’t do it. He could barely look at her, let alone touch her, for her betrayal. He had questions and she would shut him down. He showed me some of the graphic messages between her and the guy. They talked about him in them. It was bad. He started going on how the only thing he needed was for her to be a mom and she was slipping there too. She stopped cooking and taking care of their kid.
About a week after this, he butt dialed through Facebook… I could tell it was in his pocket or something. He was getting out of the car, then headed inside. All I heard from that point on was her screaming at him. He very calmly told his kids to head to the bedroom. Shortly after, something smashed loudly. It all went down in just a couple of minutes. I hung up. I never brought it up.
Not long after, he told me he loved me and he couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t stand the thought of finding me and letting me slip through his fingers. To which I replied… I wasn’t the solution to his problems. He needed to fix his shit before dragging anyone else into it. It wasn’t fair to me. He agreed. He claimed to start looking for apartments and going to see a lawyer. He’d “married for the wrong reasons and she married the wrong guy. He never romantically loved her and she viewed him as security.” I really did care about him, but I couldn’t do that. I won’t lie, the temptation was there.
After he told her they needed to get the finances together to fill out the paperwork and discuss the one kid’s situation with it all, she first threatened to hurt herself, then she decided to offer an open marriage. She “wanted the security of the lifestyle he provided and didn’t want to be judged by their friends and family, esp the kids.” He sent me the message. I responded again with I couldn’t do that. I was surprise, but not surprised he was considering it. He didn’t want the blow out either. On the surface, I’m guessing it looked like a great way to move forward. So he continued with the separating. We talked a lot.
Then he realized the other reason she had… she had a new guy she was emotionally cheating with already, making plans to meet up. The drama was past too much a while ago. But now, it got worse. He decided to encourage it. Yep. He wanted her to go off with the guy, so he could justify the divorce without it falling on him. A couple of weeks later, he went on a business trip and she went to see the guy. He came back and saw all of the proof, she admitted it, and she emptied their savings account into one he wasn’t on.
Time for me to exit. I had fallen for him. It was only a few weeks, but hook, line, and sinker.
Again, he found me and begged for me to just talk. He just needed someone to talk to. He wouldn’t do or say anything else about us. That didn’t last. Covid basically halted anything court related that wasn’t a criminal offense endangering lives. I bent and gave in.
By November, she wasn’t with the guy anymore. And she’d decided to actually look me up… she was livid. She was now upset that if he moved on with me, it would make her look even worse (her phrasing). She sent me a message to that affect and told me to leave him alone. I sent it to him and they had a blow up.
I was pretty broken up, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told him to go on with his life or don’t, but I wasn’t going to sit by and watch the miserable insanity, let alone be part of it. She had threatened his relationship with the kids, that she would tell them he was the cause. That was a threat he wasn’t going to risk, I knew it.
I moved forward with my life. He tried to message here and there and it always ended up in a fight. He started getting mean, verbally abusive, then messages of love and he didn’t want to live without me. It was crazy making. I found out later, they’d gone on an island get away, supposedly to show everyone how great they were, working on their marriage… only he was messaging me how he cried when he was alone and how movies and music reminded him that he will be “empty” stuck with her until the youngest is out of the house in a few years.
I started seeing someone. And I was happy. Really happy. I was in the best shape of my life, going out with friends, having a great time. He would not stop messaging me. Every time he did, my life got sad again. He’d keep going until he got a reaction. And there was always a reaction. I hated myself for that. I felt absolutely crazy.
The end of July had him saying he couldn’t fake it, he missed me in his life, and he would do anything. I told him I was seeing someone. He lost it. He sent me a screenshot of her blowing up at him after seeing the phone statement with his texting and calling me…to prove he meant it and didn’t care of she was upset anymore.
A week later, I was hospitalized with Covid, initially in the ICU. It was bad. He started sending messages, texts, emails, and leaving voicemails, one after the other. Going from loving me more than anyone to me being a horrible narcissist who just needed him to make me feel good about myself. He was totally unhinged. I started blocking him everywhere, and he made up phone numbers and profiles to continue. He found out which hospital and sent presents to my room. I had to tell the nursing staff to stop any more.
The most abusive rant he sent accused me of faking being raped. This one he included her on… That was the last thread.
He almost immediately sent another barrage of messages about loving me and how empty he felt with her, that he had no feelings at all and couldn’t live like that. He needed me, loved me, and would do anything and everything to make it all up to me.
From my hospital bed, I started gathering everything. Now that I had her email and phone number, it was easy. I just sent her everything. Everything. Every message he tried to send thereafter, I forwarded to her. Every text, every message request, every picture, every song, every video… I sent them to her.
After I was finally released, I was still very ill. The recovery took months. I mailed back the “gifts” and continued to send her anything he sent me. And he just continued to do it. He would blow up at me for attacking and abusing her…lol. But continue to try to contact me.
The voicemail from him identifying himself, stating he was “addicted to me” and “can’t stop” was probably the scariest. Sent from a fake phone number to get around my block, begging me to block him on social media where he’d blocked, but keeps making up profiles to get around the blocks.
I started getting back outside after a few weeks. I have lung and heart damage, so it was slow going. One day, he literally just showed up where I was. I was actually scared to a point at that one. He’d been stalking me all over online, harassing me to no end, now this. He blocked me in. He said he just wanted to talk. I said I listen. He begged and pleaded to be with him. He was moving out officially. Then… his wife drove by. Yep, she was tracking him. Some ppl showed up and he moved. I left as she was pulling in.
I went to the police, who did nothing because he didn’t actually hurt me.
He then sent messages to the guy I was seeing after finding out somehow who it was… telling HIM how much he loved me and how he’d have married me already if it weren’t for his youngest still at home and what this would do to him.
Two more times he showed up in two other places… I ended up changing jobs, moving out of state, changing my contact info, getting rid of any app I couldn’t lock down completely, and using a P.O. Box. He STILL found ways to contact me. He started friending my friends online. Anyone he saw mention me in any conversation, he tried to friend.
I continued sending everything to his wife. Every communication. Every “like”. Every friend saying he was trying to connect with them. The messages he sent the guy I was seeing… all of it. If I’m being harassed, she’s going to get it all too. I was sick of it. And scared her was going to continue getting worse. I guess there was a part of me that thought he’d give up if she went off on him enough. Delusional.
The new state’s DA sent him an official cease and desist order. It is just shy of a protective order, which I didn’t qualify for because he didn’t hurt me or specifically threaten to. I now know why so many women die each year.
It’s been two years… He still tries to reach out. Now, he’s just started spreading rumors about me to anyone who’ll listen. They get back to me every time. It’s really crazy the way he thinks. He’s telling everyone his personal business, while trying to make it look like I seduced him to a point he had no control of himself. It’s wild. I have over 100 emails, texts, and messages that I never replied to. And those are just the ones I’ve seen. Mind you, these ppl have seen the stalking themselves.
Am I the a-hole or just wasting my time? It’s been nearly five years, over two of them with me in no contract with him. She does blow up at him every time I send more stuff, she hasn’t blocked me, but it isn’t stopping him… reporting with the police didn’t either though.

A few weeks ago a friend texted me in the middle of the night, and told me she saw my boyfriend of ~7 months on Grindr. After sitting in my bed for hours I worked up the nerve to wake up my sleeping boyfriend and confronted him. He was very apologetic and the reasoning he gave me was that essentially he is confused about his sexuality and wanted to find someone to talk to about it — basically he is attracted to trans woman. He obviously did not feel comfortable talking to me about this and I get it. However, I don’t care about his sexuality and I expressed this to him. I pressed further and asked why he didn’t just find people to talk to on Reddit or discord about this, and he said essentially he wanted to see if he was attracted to everyday trans women or if it’s just like the trans women who look like the “top 0.1% on onlyfans”. This comment kind of rubbed me the wrong way tbh, and I asked if this was more like a fetish and I didn’t get a clear answer.
I was very upset and it was 3 am, so I said I wanted to talk about it later. He offered to let me go through his phone and the app — I didn’t look, but he claims he was just having conversations with people and didn’t even upload photos to his profile. He also said that I can look through his phone whenever I want and that he wouldn’t do something like that again. I said if this was innocent curiosity about himself, I could forgive him. We went a week without talking about it because this all happened during my finals week of last semester, and I just wanted to focus on that. He brought it up again, and tried to get me to talk about it with him, but I pretty much shut down the conversation again. I know I probably should have just talked to him about it already, but I wanted to have a clearer head.
So now 2 or 3 weeks have passed & I’ve had a lot of time to think about the situation and it’s honestly negatively impacted how I view myself. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this (although I should probably just talk to him). I get being confused about your sexuality as I’ve struggled with this as well. Obviously dating apps were not the appropriate solution to his problem, but he said he didn’t view was he was doing as malicious. Also, I guess I’ve never encountered someone who expressed specifically being attracted to transwomen. I read some other stuff on the internet that this might be indicative of a porn addiction — like not being satisfied by the stuff you see from strangers and trying to get more “personal” content. I don't really know how to feel about this whole situation or what to make of this.
How should I bring this conversation back up so I can get these things off my chest? how do I approach this situation without seeming like I'm attacking him?
TL;DR: my boyfriend got caught using Grindr and said he was confused about his sexuality. I put off the conversation for weeks. Now I’m confused on what to do and how to approach the situation.

Fletch gently pushed open the large and lavishly decorated bronze doors of the university administration building and ambled out into the portico. He set his cup of coffee down on the pedestal of a granite pillar and pulled his cigarette case from the breast pocket of his tan trench coat. The old chief inspector plucked a cigarette from the ornately engraved case with slender fingers and wondered why the Kael let him come at all.
Something felt very off with the whole thing. The more he thought about it, the more he questioned the story he got. Mike Anderson was certainly depressed, but as far as Fletch could tell, he had not displayed any suicidal behavior. And why now? Fletch thought. Things were on the upswing for the kid. His grades were excellent, his family situation was good, and he was out of the house more this term than the last. Fletch scratched his mustache. Why would the seals hide the autopsy and the gun? He brought the cigarette to his lips, snapped the filigreed case shut, and slipped it back into the breast pocket of his coat. Fletch flicked open his lighter and sighed as he lit his cigarette. Murder.
It was a hopeless case. These days, warrants were approved by the seals, and even if they weren't, he doubted that he could get one anyway. His suspicion of foul play was backed by nothing but his instinct.
Fletch watched students hustle and bustle through the plaza in front of him as he puffed away at his cigarette and pondered his theory.
But why kill him now? They could have done it in complete secrecy while he was a POW. And it couldn’t be to keep what happened in Philadelphia under wraps. His death brings more attention to it. And he wasn’t a rebel. So why? Fletch sipped at his coffee as he flicked ash from his cigarette. Vengeance? Did he kill some noble brat during the war?
Fletch scratched at his grey mustache and glanced at his watch. I’ll have to follow that thread. He tossed his half-smoked cigarette into a puddle as he briskly walked down the steps and through the university plaza.
The withered investigator was deep in thought when he entered the parking lot. What do I tell that Enrique chap? He unlocked his car and crawled in. I certainly can’t tell him that his mate’s been clipped with no evidence. Fletch turned the key, and the engine of his little Volvo sputtered to life. It’s no bleeding use. I’ll just tell the lad they weren’t interested in sharing and keep my suspicions to myself.
As he reached for the shifter, Fletch noticed a delightfully thick manilla envelope stuck in the gap between the center console and the passenger seat.
He pulled the envelope from the crack. Gingerly, he opened it and pulled out a small note. It read We’re even now, prick.
Fletch smiled and couldn’t help but mutter, “The game is afoot,” as he flicked through the stack of documents inside.
Isabella poked her head into the large office and saw Professor Dret’la with a ball of dark green yarn on her lap and bone darning needles beset with carvings in her hands.
Isabella was struck with confusion. What? She crochets!?
The professor looked up from her labor, spotted the confused girl outside her door, and called, “Come in.”
Isabella walked into the office and took a seat. She gestured to the yarn in the professor's hands. “What are you making?”
The professor smiled as motherly as one could with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. “It will be a hat for my son. He just received his commission as a junior biologist, so he has to rummage around in freezers to get samples for his whole research team.”
Isabella blinked. This was not characteristic at all for the quick-tempered professor with a penchant for launching chalk across lecture halls at the mildest provocation.
Isabella shook off her shocked expression and gave the tall professor a dimpled cheek smile. “That’s so sweet! I’m sure he’ll love it. One of the best gifts I’ve ever received was a thick wool sweater from my mamma during a training exercise off the coast of Norway.”
The professor, still smiling, sat up straight. “I hope that’s the kind of reception I get.”
The professor’s demeanor hardened as she stowed the yarn and needles in the desk drawer. “Now, let's get down to business.”
Isabella gulped.
“To start, congratulations. You’ve passed our testing and been selected for officer training.”
Isabella asked, “Who else was selected?”
“There are nine others: Robert Rhodes, Elena Pavel, Hal Jellico, Zheng Li, Brooke Halsey, Colow Aden, Magnus Tordenskjold, Bill Lee, and Kazuya Yamamoto.”
Isabella didn’t recognize all the names.
“Should you choose to accept, you will be taking a prep course taught by Colonel Ocidea and I starting next week and lasting all through the summer. If we deem you ready, you’ll ship out for basic training and then off to the Royal Military Academy, where you can earn your commission.” Dr. Dret’la leaned in close to Isabella. “Do you accept?”
Without hesitation, Isabella answered, “Yes.”
“Mike, come over here. You’re going to want to see this.” Calty voiced from her seat in the front of the cockpit.
Mike rolled off the couch and walked into the front of the cockpit as the captain shouted, “Decelerate!” Mike couldn’t help but grab onto the back of Calty’s seat as the FTL drive kicked into gear. The cockpit glass dimmed just before blindingly bright blue jets of fire from the front-facing engines came into view. A bright green circle flickered onto the glass surrounding a marble-sized dot darker than the rest of the now dim screen. The dots and circles expanded at an extreme pace until they took up most of the display. Another dot appeared—minuscule compared to the other—surrounded by a red circle. The growth of the shadowy dots and the circles around them slowed and then stopped entirely as the engines sputtered out.
The HUD faded out of view, and the tint of the glass slowly lightened, revealing a vast planet embraced by blue-green ice with a colossal foundry in its orbit. The planet, a gas giant called Drassus, was orbited by four rings. One was made of containers, and the other three were made up of loose ore gleaming in the nearby star's light. Exhaust chimneys spewing gas and fire sprouted from the otherwise spherical foundry, giving it a sea urchin-like profile, which, together with the weave of pipes bringing fuel from beneath the icy surface of the planet below, made the foundry resemble an old naval mine.
The captain strode up to the front of the cockpit. “One-third ahead and steer 14 degrees left. We’re unloading in bay three.”
Six mech suits and a tug exited a plasma-shielded hanger as the ship came to a halt. The mechs glided to the front of the ship and started dismounting the external cargo bay from the Broken Fin while the tug hitched onto the opposite end of the ten-kilometer-long rack of containers.
A little while later, the tug pulled away with the load of containers, and the comm system blared to life. “Broken Fin, you are cleared to leave. The UO corporation thanks you for your business.”
The captain replied, “Our pleasure. Broken fin out.” as the ship pulled out of the loading bay.
He turned to the navigation officer and said, “Lock in coordinates for jump to Kael Prime.”
The captain went to the central control board and pulled up traffic control. “Tower 1, this is the Broken Fin. We request a jump slot to Kael Prime from Drassus.”
“Broken Fin, request granted. Your departure slot is at 16:33.”
Mike glanced at the top right of the ship's HUD and looked at the time. 16:21.
Better get my stuff together…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ship shuddered ever so slightly despite the inertial dampeners as it exited FTL. Mike was lounging on the couch with his bag at his feet. He was ready to get off this tub.
Mike idly watched flames lick at the cockpit window as the ship descended into the atmosphere of Kael Prime. He looked at Dreki, who was sitting on the other couch. His muscles bulged through his clothes despite wearing a white sweater so large it could be mistaken for the sail of an average-sized boat. Mike asked, “Do you know anything about what’ll happen to me now?”
The big Kael shifted in his seat. “Technically, I’m not supposed to tell you anything, but what the hell.” Dreki pulled the collar of his sweater down, revealing an angry white number burnt into his iron-gray skin just below the collarbone. “First, you’ll get branded.” He released his shirt and pointed to a small scar on the side of his head. “Then you’ll get an AR implant.”
“Where will I be getting that?” Mike asked.
“The Imperial Science Academy. We’re going to be staying there for a few days. They’ll run a bunch of tests and get you fitted for equipment there. After that, I’ll drop you off at the spaceport, and you’ll be off to Tlaxcalssus for basic training. After that, I don’t know.”
“Thanks.”
The ship shook as it touched down on the landing pad. “Time to go.” Dreki shouldered his pack and walked out the door. Mike fiddled with the straps of his bag as he followed Dreki down the ramp and to the far side of the ship, away from the rest of the passengers. Mike's nose was immediately assaulted with the acrid smell of sulfur from where the fiery exhausts of engines had melted asphalt. The spaceport was swarming with vehicles and filled with the constant roar of ship engines and a symphony of smaller equipment. Power loaders and mechs loaded and unloaded heavy cargo, shuttles bustled to and fro with passengers, baggage carriers snaked through the crowded landing pads, and vehicles that looked like floating garage doors zipped through the air at ankle height, bringing pilots and crew to their ships. Mike couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the absurdity of it all. Here he was, in the heartland of the enemy, walking through what was essentially a ten-acre parking lot.
Dreki plopped his bags on the ground and yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. “Our skiff will be here in a minute.”
Mike tuned out the beeps and whirrs of the tank-sized forklifts and mechs unloading the ship and gazed out beyond at the horizon. You’re not in Kansas anymore, bub. Mike thought as he studied the skyline of the imperial city basked in the glow of the early evening sun. Some of the buildings wouldn’t look all that out of place on Earth, but the skyline was assaulted with abominations that pissed on the laws of physics as Man understood them. Tusk-shaped skyscrapers defied gravity with their seemingly unsupported curves, and even more absurd were pyramids stacked atop another point-to-point like hourglasses. Any delusion of normalcy that Mike could come up with was shattered.
Dreki picked up his bag and pointed to a slab of black marble speeding towards them at ankle height. “Here’s our skiff.” A railing popped out of the center as the skiff came to a gliding halt. Dreki boarded the skiff and took hold of the rail, and Mike followed suit.
They sped through the spaceport and stopped outside what looked to Mike like a train station. Dreki shouldered his bag and stepped off the skiff. Mike stepped off and quickly fell in pace with Dreki. The big Kael led Mike into a grand station bustling with people. Most were Kael, but there was a smattering of other species. Some stared at Mike, others glanced, but most completely ignored him as he followed Dreki through the hall and onto a platform. Unfamiliar aliens clearly weren’t an uncommon sight here.
The walls of the station were covered with mosaics depicting Kael warriors from the distant past. Dreki noted the human's curiosity and said, “The founders of the clans.” He leveled a massive hand toward an opulent, towering mosaic of a Kael warrior wielding a bronze falx. The imposing figure's body was made of blue gemstones, the eyes rubies, one tusk silver, and the other gold. “That’s the founder of my clan, Drekalla Gold Tusk.”
Mike asked, “How’d he manage that?” As he followed Dreki into a mostly empty train car.
Dreki plopped down on a bench. “He was the war priest of Hroptaug the Conqueror during the unification wars. After the wars were won, Hroptaug granted us the Steam Hills.” Dreki pointed through the train window at the mosaic of another warrior whose body was made of milky white pearls. “That one,” He paused and spat on the floor, “Tiblan the Terror, challenged Drekalla to a duel for most of that land. Drekalla was cutting him to pieces, but the craven poisoned his blade. Just before Drekalla could deliver the final blow, the poison reached his heart, and Drekalla died. The only wound on his body was a cut across his forearm that barely drew blood.” Dreki rolled up his sleeve, showing a scar that reached from his elbow to the middle of his forearm. “Every K’alla is cut the same way to remind us of the blood feud.”
Mike inwardly sighed. Kael and their damned feuds… “How long ago was this.”
“Seven thousand four hundred and fifty-one years ago.”
Mike held back a snort. The absurdity of it all. The first human law codes came about to stop blood feuds, and out here, they have feuds that have lasted longer than Earth's recorded history.
“How’s that feud been going as of late?”
Dreki’s face sagged, “Not good.”
They both grew quiet. Mike shuffled uncomfortably.
Mike glanced at the route display and broke the silence, “What's with the middle city, inner city thing?”
Dreki relaxed slightly. “Oh, so the city used to be a fortification. The inner city is actually a volcanic island. The middle is built over the river, and the outer city was built on the banks.”
“I see.”
The doors closed, and the intercom sounded, “Next stop, the inner city.”
Dale Robert’s wrinkled face was unreadable, and his highly decorated black and blue dress uniform immaculate as he led a horse through the street. He felt the eyes of thousands of onlookers on him, and he hated it. The pure black horse had a black leather saddle on its back. Two tall, glossy black boots were placed backward in silver stirrups, and the elaborate hilt of Mike’s basket-hilted broadsword jutted from the top of a black leather scabbard buckled to the saddle. Roberts followed the horse-drawn caisson bearing the flag-draped coffin of his old commanding officer. Not much farther now, he thought. The sounds of the cartwheels rolling and the horse’s tack jangling were wholly drowned out by boots stamping the ground in unison. Almost all of the 1800 survivors of the 801st regiment were there, resplendent in their dress uniforms, marching behind Mike one more time. The local police and fire departments joined them.
Roberts was unsure about it all. He felt that the poor kid's family would have preferred a smaller service back home in Colorado instead of this damn near royal procession. And Roberts was damn sure that the seals did not give their permission for this, no matter what the police chief said.
A reporter ducked through the police barricade and tried to ask the marching soldiers questions, but they remained stone-faced as the procession marched nearer to the gates of Philadelphia National Cemetery. Roberts handed the reigns of the riderless horse to another man in uniform and joined seven other members of Charlie platoon in pulling the casket from the cassion. They silently began their march to the grave, closely followed by General McCarthy, the man who was Joint Chief of Staff, and the color guard. Bagpipers began to blare, “Going Home.” Roberts heard the sound of gravpulse engines and looked up in dismay as a Kael gunship broke through the low clouds and descended to just barely above the cemetery. A loudspeaker blared, “Disperse at once.”

Welcome to my Plex Client TED Talk

First off, yes, I know that most people don't need the "supremely ultimate" streaming solution (perfect Dolby Vision w/ FEL + Lossless audio + third-party streaming app compatibility). The answer is ultimately hardware and user-dependent. That being said, we get a dozen posts here a month asking what the best all-in-one streaming device is for those who do want Dolby Vision/lossless audio, and most of the time they are either recommended the Shield or an Apple TV from what I can tell. For reasons I'll get into and you may or may not already be well aware of, neither of these do both of those things perfectly (or at all).
That's what makes it so hard to do your own research on this particular subject - there's too much confusion about which devices can do what and too much outdated info on Plex and elsewhere. On top of that people so often come out as blatantly rude defending their device of choice because "there's no other option", which discourages discussion. I had to spend hours upon hours combing through old Reddit threads, forum posts, technical spec breakdowns, and ultimately gamble on purchasing devices myself before I found truly definitive answers that I didn't have to triple guess.

NVIDIA Shield

First off, let's credit the Shield for its longtime reign on the throne as the ultimate all-in-one streaming device for Plex. It handles lossless audio, has a nice interface, and supported Dolby Vision for quite a while there for both remuxes and streaming apps. However, it is getting old, still costs around $200 USD, and there are an increasing number of DV movies with FEL layer (this spreadsheet isn't a complete list) with more coming out every month. Some studios now release ALL their UHDs with FEL.
The Shield doesn't handle these FEL rips properly, and even if you can live with the red tint it adds to FEL movies, we are primarily a group of tech-savvy users and enthusiasts with theater setups with equipment in the thousands of dollars range. We shouldn't be recommending a rather pricey 5-year old device and sometimes glitchy streaming device with a blatantly obvious visual issue to people who could do better with their viewing experience and their wallets (I may end up eating these words later). Dolby Vision and OLED is becoming more commonly used as people upgrade their TVs - this is not a niche enthusiast technology anymore even if the average consumer still doesn't understand exactly DV is/does. Having the red tint isn't something that everyone with a Shield streaming FEL remuxes should have to live with.

Devices without Lossless Audio

There are several other devices that are consistently recommended here that don't support lossless audio in Plex, including but not limited to:

• Apple TV (Only does DD+, even with Infuse as far as I understand)
• Roku
• TVs (yes, even with eARC)
• Chromecast (CCwGTV, Ultra)

Please stop telling people that these are capable of blu-ray quality lossless audio. They are not.

Possible Solution Device(s)

So, where does that leave us? There are some enthusiast-level options like Dune and Zidoo players. I don't know a ton about them, but I know they are compatible with lossless audio codecs. Someone else will have to comment if they are capable of playing back FEL layer natively (not sure if they have a secondary decoder or not). The Ugoos AM6B Plus with CoreELEC seems to be the only device in the world I have seen online of that can do FEL perfectly and works with Atmos and DTS:X lossless audio.
Still, I know these types of players are not as user friendly as a Shield or ATV and can be a pain to use normal streaming apps on. Plus they cost as much or more than the Shield does.
That leaves us with one or two other devices depending on how you look at it. The most cost effective in my opinion? The New 4K Fire Stick Max that released about 6 months ago. With 20 minutes of setup that anyone here could walk someone through, this device gets you 95% of the way there. There are still caveats to consider. Still, I believe that this is the single best device on the market for those who want a reasonably modern UI/UX (amazon toxic ad-fest aside), use regular streaming apps in addition to Plex, need compatibility with all DV profiles + FEL and lossless audio, AND most importantly, want the best bang for their buck (currently available for ~$35 USD with an Amazon coupon). It even supports HDR10+ for the tiny amount of UHDs that support that.
It is by no means perfect, though. Let's look at the 4K Fire Stick Max caveats:

• Ridiculous amount of ads (possibly could be mitigated with a different launcher or PiHole?)
• Have to install Kodi + PM4K (Plex) addon
  • Kodi has some additional setup to passthrough all audio codecs and convert DV P7 w/ FEL -> P8.1
    • This DV profile conversion supposedly does affect color accuracy, though I can't see much of a difference personally. More testing needs to be done by people with nicer equipment and more technical knowledge than I possess
• Native Plex app doesn't support DTS-HD MA or DTS:X. You have to use Kodi with PM4K.
• No ethernet

It remains to be seen if the Shield's red tint issue is worse than whatever color problems crop up when converting DV P7 -> P8.1 on the Fire Stick Max with Kodi's feature set. Not even considering that the Fire Stick is $150+ less, I'd rather go with occasional minute coloring issues versus a blanket red push on my entire movie.
The importance of the lack of ethernet depends on the user's wifi setup. I have a 3 year old Wifi 6 Google router and I can watch any 4K rip I've thrown at it, up to the 100mb/s range without any problem. The Fire Cube 3 is basically a beefed up Fire Stick Max, so this is an option if you absolutely must have ethernet, but you'll need a $10 USB to ethernet adapter. The USB port is only 2.0, but you can still get 250-350 MB/s with an adapter, more than enough for streaming anything.
Another potential device I have not tested is the Amazon Fire Cube 2, which supposedly can sideload CoreELEC and thereby gain full FEL/lossless capabilities. I cannot verify that, so if someone can speak to it please do. Even so, it is an older device and the setup requires at least a little more work than the Fire Stick Max/Cube 3.

Conclusion and Other Considerations

Ultimately, there isn't a perfect device that can do absolutely everything, especially for the average user, and there's literally nothing in existence that can do it all using the native Plex app. If Plex on the new Fire Stick Max worked out of the box, then it would be near-perfect, but the addition of needing Kodi adds some one-time complication.
Even if you use the Ugoos AM6B+, it seems like you may have a hard time with third-party streaming apps despite its proficiency with 4K UHD remuxes. The Amazon devices have many pitfalls and require some extra setup, but the cost of the Fire Stick Max in particular makes it (in my opinion) easier to look past some of them. $50 or less is a lot more reasonable than $200 when recommending a device.
As for what device to recommend to others, it's going to be a mixed bag. Ultimately it depends on what the user needs as I mentioned in my first paragraph. If they only care about Dolby Vision and not lossless audio, just using a Smart TV's apps may be best. If they want lossless but have a Samsung TV and therefore can't use Dolby Vision, a Shield still may be their best bet, or a PS5/Xbox. It all depends.
I personally only use the Fire Stick Max when I watch a rip of any disc I own that has DV+FEL (or HDR10+). If I watch anything else on Plex like a regular blu-ray rip, a 4K rip with just HDR10, or watch something in a different streaming app, I use my Series X, which can do HDR10 and lossless audio just fine.

I hope that this is a helpful post and sparks some interesting discussion for those who stuck with me to the end. Please offer any corrections to my claims, though I do feel as though I have researched this pretty exhaustively short of spending thousands to buy and test every possible device against one another myself. I hope it helps anyone who comes looking for an answer to the question of which device(s) to get for their Plex setup.

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

I am currently making a Calorie Tracking app using Swift, but am having some issues with how different views are presented using sheets when trying to pass a variable
I have 2 views - my CaloriesView:

import SwiftUI import Firebase import FirebaseAuth import FirebaseFirestoreSwift struct CaloriesView: View { u/EnvironmentObject var viewModel: AuthViewModel @EnvironmentObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel @State private var shouldPresentSheet: Bool = false @State private var selectedCategory: String? = nil var body: some View { NavigationView { ScrollView { VStack(spacing: 20) { CurrentCaloriesView(viewModel: calsViewModel) mealSection("Breakfast", foods: calsViewModel.breakfasts) mealSection("Lunch", foods: calsViewModel.lunches) mealSection("Dinner", foods: calsViewModel.dinners) mealSection("Other Food", foods: calsViewModel.otherFoods) } .navigationBarTitle("Calories", displayMode: .inline) } } .onAppear { Task { await calsViewModel.fetchTodayMacros() await calsViewModel.fetchTodayFoodIntake() } } .sheet(isPresented: $shouldPresentSheet) { FoodListView(calsViewModel: calsViewModel) } } @ViewBuilder private func mealSection(_ category: String, foods: [(String, Double)]) -> some View { VStack(alignment: .leading, spacing: 10) { Text(category) .font(.headline) .padding(.top) ForEach(foods.indices, id: \.self) { index in let food = foods[index] VStack(alignment: .leading, spacing: 8) { Text(food.0) .font(.headline) .bold() Text("Weight: \(food.1, specifier: "%.2f") g") } .padding(.vertical, 8) } Button(action: { Task { let currentDate = Date() // Use the current date let currentUserId = Auth.auth().currentUser!.uid // Directly using the user ID as we're sure user is logged in do { let macrosDocumentExists = await calsViewModel.doesMacrosDocumentExist(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) if !macrosDocumentExists { try await calsViewModel.createMacrosDocument(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) } let foodIntakeDocumentExists = await calsViewModel.doesFoodIntakeDocumentExist(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) if !foodIntakeDocumentExists { try await calsViewModel.createIntakeDocument(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) } selectedCategory = category shouldPresentSheet = true } catch { print("Error creating documents: \(error.localizedDescription)") // Handle errors, perhaps by showing an alert to the user } } }) { Label("Add Food For \(category)", systemImage: "plus.circle.fill") .font(.headline) .foregroundColor(.white) .padding() .frame(maxWidth: .infinity) .background(Color.green) .cornerRadius(10) } .padding(.bottom) } } } 

And my FoodView:

import SwiftUI import Firebase import FirebaseAuth import FirebaseFirestoreSwift struct FoodListView: View { @ObservedObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel @ObservedObject var foodViewModel = FoodViewModel() @Environment(\.dismiss) private var dismiss @Environment(\.presentationMode) var presentationMode var body: some View { NavigationView { List(foodViewModel.foods) { food in NavigationLink(destination: FoodDetailView(calsViewModel: calsViewModel, food: food)) { Text(food.name) } } .navigationTitle("Select Food") .toolbar { ToolbarItem(placement: .navigationBarLeading) { Button("Cancel") { dismiss() } } } .onAppear { foodViewModel.fetchFoods() } } } } struct FoodDetailView: View { @ObservedObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel var food: Food @State private var weight: String = "100" @State private var showConfirmation: Bool = false @State private var errorMessage: String? @ObservedObject var authViewModel = AuthViewModel() var body: some View { VStack { TextField("Enter weight in grams", text: $weight) .keyboardType(.numberPad) .textFieldStyle(RoundedBorderTextFieldStyle()) .padding() if let weightAsDouble = Double(weight) { Text("Calories: \(Double(food.calories) * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") kcal") Group { Text("Protein: \(food.protein * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") Text("Carbs: \(food.carbs * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") Text("Fat: \(food.fat * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") } .font(.headline) } Spacer() Button("Add Food") { Task { let today = Date() guard let userId = Auth.auth().currentUser?.uid else { errorMessage = "Unexpected error: User ID is not available." return } do { let weightDouble = Double(weight) ?? 100 let mealType: MealType = .other // This should be determined or selected by the user print("Adding food with weight: \(weightDouble)") // Debug log try await calsViewModel.addFoodIntakeAndUpdateMacros(userId: userId, date: today, food: food, weight: weightDouble, mealType: mealType) showConfirmation = true } catch { errorMessage = "An unexpected error occurred: \(error.localizedDescription)" } } } .alert("Food Added", isPresented: $showConfirmation) { Button("OK", role: .cancel) { } } message: { Text("Your daily intake has been updated.") } if let errorMessage = errorMessage { Text(errorMessage) .foregroundColor(.red) .padding() } Spacer() } .padding() .navigationTitle("\(food.name) Details") } } 

Currently, in FoodDetailsView, the mealType variable that is being saved to the firestore document is hardcoded to be ‘Other Food’, so all of the food, no matter which of the 4 "Add Food For \(category)" buttons I click is being shown in the ‘Other Food’ category
I instead want the food to be saved into the Firestore document with the relevant mealType, depending on which section the button is clicked in
I have tried doing this by passing a mealType variable through when the “Add Food For \(category)" button is clicked, as you can see in the new versions of CaloriesView and FoodView below:
CaloriesView:

import SwiftUI import Firebase import FirebaseAuth import FirebaseFirestoreSwift struct CaloriesView: View { @EnvironmentObject var viewModel: AuthViewModel @EnvironmentObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel @State private var shouldPresentSheet: Bool = false @State private var selectedCategory: String? = nil @State private var selectedMealType: MealType? = nil var body: some View { NavigationView { ScrollView { VStack(spacing: 20) { CurrentCaloriesView(viewModel: calsViewModel) mealSection("Breakfast", foods: calsViewModel.breakfasts, mealType: .breakfast) mealSection("Lunch", foods: calsViewModel.lunches, mealType: .lunch) mealSection("Dinner", foods: calsViewModel.dinners, mealType: .dinner) mealSection("Other Food", foods: calsViewModel.otherFoods, mealType: .other) } .navigationBarTitle("Calories", displayMode: .inline) } } .onAppear { Task { await calsViewModel.fetchTodayMacros() await calsViewModel.fetchTodayFoodIntake() } } .sheet(isPresented: $shouldPresentSheet) { if let selectedMealType = selectedMealType { FoodListView(calsViewModel: calsViewModel, mealType: selectedMealType) } } } @ViewBuilder private func mealSection(_ category: String, foods: [(String, Double)], mealType: MealType) -> some View { VStack(alignment: .leading, spacing: 10) { Text(category) .font(.headline) .padding(.top) ForEach(foods.indices, id: \.self) { index in let food = foods[index] VStack(alignment: .leading, spacing: 8) { Text(food.0) .font(.headline) .bold() Text("Weight: \(food.1, specifier: "%.2f") g") } .padding(.vertical, 8) } Button(action: { Task { let currentDate = Date() let currentUserId = Auth.auth().currentUser!.uid do { let macrosDocumentExists = await calsViewModel.doesMacrosDocumentExist(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) if !macrosDocumentExists { try await calsViewModel.createMacrosDocument(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) } let foodIntakeDocumentExists = await calsViewModel.doesFoodIntakeDocumentExist(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) if !foodIntakeDocumentExists { try await calsViewModel.createIntakeDocument(userId: currentUserId, date: currentDate) } selectedCategory = category selectedMealType = mealType shouldPresentSheet = true } catch { print("Error creating documents: \(error.localizedDescription)") } } }) { Label("Add Food For \(category)", systemImage: "plus.circle.fill") .font(.headline) .foregroundColor(.white) .padding() .frame(maxWidth: .infinity) .background(Color.green) .cornerRadius(10) } .padding(.bottom) } } } 

FoodView:

import SwiftUI import Firebase import FirebaseAuth import FirebaseFirestoreSwift struct FoodListView: View { @ObservedObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel @ObservedObject var foodViewModel = FoodViewModel() @Environment(\.dismiss) private var dismiss @Environment(\.presentationMode) var presentationMode var mealType: MealType var body: some View { NavigationView { List(foodViewModel.foods) { food in NavigationLink(destination: FoodDetailView(calsViewModel: calsViewModel, food: food, mealType: mealType)) { Text(food.name) } } .navigationTitle("Select Food") .toolbar { ToolbarItem(placement: .navigationBarLeading) { Button("Cancel") { dismiss() } } } .onAppear { foodViewModel.fetchFoods() } } } } struct FoodDetailView: View { @ObservedObject var calsViewModel: CaloriesViewModel var food: Food var mealType: MealType @State private var weight: String = "100" @State private var showConfirmation: Bool = false @State private var errorMessage: String? @ObservedObject var authViewModel = AuthViewModel() var body: some View { VStack { TextField("Enter weight in grams", text: $weight) .keyboardType(.numberPad) .textFieldStyle(RoundedBorderTextFieldStyle()) .padding() if let weightAsDouble = Double(weight) { Text("Calories: \(Double(food.calories) * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") kcal") Group { Text("Protein: \(food.protein * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") Text("Carbs: \(food.carbs * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") Text("Fat: \(food.fat * weightAsDouble / 100, specifier: "%.2f") g") } .font(.headline) } Spacer() Button("Add Food") { Task { let today = Date() guard let userId = Auth.auth().currentUser?.uid else { errorMessage = "Unexpected error: User ID is not available." return } do { let weightDouble = Double(weight) ?? 100 print("Adding food with weight: \(weightDouble)") // Debug log try await calsViewModel.addFoodIntakeAndUpdateMacros(userId: userId, date: today, food: food, weight: weightDouble, mealType: mealType) showConfirmation = true } catch { errorMessage = "An unexpected error occurred: \(error.localizedDescription)" } } } .alert("Food Added", isPresented: $showConfirmation) { Button("OK", role: .cancel) { } } message: { Text("Your daily intake has been updated.") } if let errorMessage = errorMessage { Text(errorMessage) .foregroundColor(.red) .padding() } Spacer() } .padding() .navigationTitle("\(food.name) Details") } } 

But doing it this way causes the sheet containing FoodListView to be presented as completely blank, containing not even the ‘Cancel’ button
The original code did not do this - any ideas why? Thanks
Edit - for an MVP Minimal Reproducible Example, see my Stack Overflow question: https://stackoverflow.com/questions/78492454/why-does-passing-a-variable-into-a-view-that-is-presented-using-a-sheet-cause-th?noredirect=1#comment138379430_78492454

You may wonder:

• What cameras do sports photographers use?
• What is the best camera for sports photography beginner?
• How to choose the right camera and lens combo for action shots?

And that’s exactly what I’m here to help you with today.
Here are the top 5 best cameras for sports photography (beginner and advanced folks) across various price points.
I'll also include the recommended lenses for sports for each of the camera body mentioned.
These options work for a variety of events/team sports:

• football
• basketball
• motorsport
• soccer matches (sports moms)
• and/or capture other fast moving objects

Whatever camera you decide to choose, remember, for this photography genre, fast focusing and high frame rate is what you need to look for.
Alright, here's the roundup of the best cameras for sports photography.

1. Canon Rebel T6i

Type: Compact SLR Weight: 555 g Resolution: 24MP LCD: Fully articulated Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: No ISO: Auto, 100-12800 (expandable to 25600)
While the Canon Rebel T6i (or 750D outside the US) is not ‘the latest and greatest’, it’s still a sweet choice in many ways.
Here are my 3 reasons why you should consider it:

• It is one of the best budget-friendly DSLRs for beginner photographers.
• It is one of those fairly compact DSLRs to take on your travels.
• The T6i is a nice low-end DSLR for action shots that you can get under $1000.

The kit lens isn’t good for this genre though!
(The T7i is the newer model but it’s also a bit more expensive.)
Reasons to buy:

• excellent work in auto mode
• continuous shooting up to 5 fps
• large buffer when shooting in JPG
• high quality images up to ISO 3200
• responsive touch screen and tilting display
• video shooting with smooth and fast autofocus

Reasons to avoid:

• the camera is not the latest and the greatest
• a small amount of buffer when shooting in RAW
• non-ideal skin tone when shooting with automatic white balance
• no direct focus point selection when viewed through the viewfinder

Best lens for action shots:

• EF-S 18-135mm lens

Most of the kits come with the 18-35 lenses but those are not long enough, so that’s why you should get 18-135mm lens for sports photography.
Moving on to the next camera.

2. Canon 7D II

Type: Mid-size SLR Weight: 910 g Resolution: 20MP LCD: Not articulated Touchscreen: None Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, ISO 100-16000
Canon EOS 7D Mark II is one of the most advanced APS-C sensor DSLRs at the moment.
In fact, it is one of the best affordable Canon cameras for sports on the market today.
It’s also one of the best DSLR cameras under $2000 budget (with the kit lens that you can use for this type of photography).
There is no abundance of secondary functions in it common for newer models, but everything a professional photographer or a videographer needs is always at hand.
This is a real workhorse with lots of capabilities.
It has excellent autofocus, both when viewed through the viewfinder, and when using the display. It also has the highest speed of continuous shooting and a large buffer.

Reasons to buy:

• high image quality
• excellent fine-tuned autofocus
• built-in GPS and high battery life
• burst rate up to 10 frames per second
• Advanced ergonomics and fine-tuning controls
• works with two memory cards of different types
• full HD video shooting with an abundance of fine settings

Reasons to avoid:

• lack of 4K video
• comparatively high price
• the screen isn’t articulated
• the screen doesn’t support touch control

Best lens for action shots:

• EF-S 18-135mm lens

As I mentioned earlier this glass is a good one to get because it’s long enough for moving objects. If you’re on a budget, it’s always better getting a used 7D II body but absolutely do get that 18-135mm.

3. Nikon D500

Type: Mid-size SLR Weight: 860 g Resolution: 21 MP LCD: Tilting Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: ISO 100 – 51200 (expandable to 50 – 1640000)
The truth is...
Nikon D500 is one of the most amazing digital cameras ever produced by Nikon, equipped with a DX format sensor.
The Nikon D500 uses a new 20.9-megapixel CMOS sensor and a new Expeed 5 image processor. High burst rate (10 frames per second) and 153 points of autofocus, located throughout the frame area are an excellent offer for that kind of money!
It is complemented by an inclined touch screen, which makes it even more convenient. The D500 also has excellent video capabilities and allows you to shoot in 4K.
Keep in mind, this Nikon body is not for those who are looking to buy their very first DSLR.
All the charms of this camera will be appreciated only by an experienced photographer, meanwhile it will be difficult/frustrating to master for a beginner.

Reasons to buy:

• excellent ergonomics
• low level of digital noise
• continuous burst rate of 10 fps
• wide DR and a well-stretched RAW
• fast, sensitive and tenacious autofocus system
• quick and convenient focusing in Live View mode
• close to professional video and audio recording capabilities

Reasons to avoid:

• not the latest and greatest gear
• a bit “damp” wireless communication with SnapBridge

Best lens for action shots:

• Tamron 70-200mm

If you use D500 with the Tamron 70-200mm f/2.8 telephoto zoom, then you have an amazing combo to crush it in sports photography. This glass is at a relatively lower price-point.
The new ones are a bit better but the older one will be just a bit cheaper if you are on a lower budget. (Don’t worry you won’t see that much of a difference in the lenses overall).

4. Sony a9

Type: SLR-style mirrorless Weight: 673 g Resolution: 24 MP LCD: Tilting Touchscreen: Yes Weather-sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, 100-51200 (50-204800)
This one is one of the best mirrorless cameras for sports photography (and an official EISA Award winner).
Sony a9 is a high-speed full-frame mirrorless that’s designed to go head to head with Canon and Nikon’s flagship professional DSLRs.
The a9 presents a high rate of burst of up to 20 frames/s, and a large buffer of up to 200 RAW frames, as well as an impressive ISO performance.
Even though smart modes of autofocus (such as focusing on the eyes, Lock-on AF and priority in the recognition of faces) require some time getting used to, they can significantly facilitate your work.
The 5-axis stabilization in this hybrid camera works well (both for photos and videos).
I must say that it’s also great for video shooting:
There is 4K and slow-motion shooting of 100/120 frames/s in Full HD. There is only no support for S-Log profiles, however the rest of the traditionally wide range of features is preserved.

Reasons to buy:

• great ISO performance
• wide dynamic range in RAW
• built-in five-axis stabilization system
• Full HD video shooting up to 100/120 fps
• buffer up to 200 frames in RAW and 360 JPEG
• speed of continuous shooting up to 20 frames/s
• fast and confident autofocus with native and non-original lenses
• accurate color rendering, good work of the automatics and white balance

Reasons to avoid:

• the display may overheat
• the battery life is lower than that of high-end DSLRs
• it is preferable to shoot in RAW at ISO above 6400 for optimum results
• the speed of continuous shooting with a mechanical shutter is limited to 5 frames/s

Best lens for action shots:

• Sony 70-200mm

Given that we are talking about sports, the best lens that’s recommended to buy along Sony a9 is Sony 70-200 GM fixed zoom lens.

5. Nikon D5

Type: Large SLR Weight: 1415 g Resolution: 21 MP LCD: Fixed Touchscreen: Yes Weather- sealed: Yes ISO: Auto, 100-102400 (expandable to 50-3280000)
Without a doubt...
Nikon D5 is one of the best DSLR cameras for any pro level photography, including sports.
Everything in this product, every little thing is set up to ensure a simple and guaranteed result when shooting in any conditions.
1) It’s not afraid of dust and moisture.
2) It easily, if not the best out of all cameras, deals well with the lack of light.
3) D5’s autofocus works so stably and quickly that you simply forget about it.
4) The speed of the continuous shooting and the large volume of the frames in RAW can guarantee you catching the right moment in any photo-shooting scene.
5) The resource of the battery makes it possible to shoot for a day without stopping or limiting yourself with the number of frames.
Nikon D5 is one of the best DSLRs for sports photography today.
It is an excellent choice for those photographers who really do shoot in difficult conditions and are required to guarantee the result

Reasons to buy:

• awesome battery life
• impressive image quality
• silent shooting in Live View mode
• ability to work with two memory cards
• large buffer: up to 200 frames in RAW
• video shooting in Full HD format at 60 fps
• continuous shooting up to 12 fps with autofocus
• dust and waterproof construction and excellent ergonomics

Reasons to avoid:

• no built-in Wi-Fi and GPS
• there is no focus peaking or Log Gamma profiles

.Best lens for action shots:

• Sigma 120-300mm f/2.8

We now established what is the best DSLR if you are into sports.
If you decide to go with Nikon D5 instead of Sony a9 mirrorless, then go with the Sigma 120-300mm F2.8 Sports DG Lens. You'll be blown away.

Best Cameras for Sports Photography: Final Thoughts

Look...
All of the aforementioned products are absolutely great. Some of them are full frame sensor, a couple of them are APS-C sensor (so keep the crop factor in mind).
They are not all expensive cameras. You can find across various price points, whether you are looking for digital cameras for beginners under $1000 or under the $5000 price tag, or more advanced gear for professional sports photographers.
In fact, all of the products mentioned are used by the pros and it shows that the quality really is top-notch (especially Sony a9, Nikon D5, and Canon EOS R with advanced autofocus systems).
Let's have a discussion in the comments.
Leave your suggestions or questions on the best cameras for sports photography (for beginners too).
Do include the following:

• what is your current budget
• what is exactly is that you (plan to) shoot the most

And/or any other thoughts on choosing the gear for action shots!
For example:
What would you recommend to sports moms?
What do you think is the best camera for recording youth sports?
How about video cameras to record team sports like volleyball, basketball, soccer, or football games?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Hey guys. So I've been attending the job centre for 2 months now. Last month I got a job as a personal banker and they said it would take a few weeks to complete checks due to strict due-diligence requirements in the financial industry. There has been a delay issue with references as my previous job was freelance - so I have not started yet. However, since I was offered a job, my main work coach (great guy) said that i only need to attend weekly meetings via phone call. So, yesterday at my weekly meeting via phone, i had a different work coach to my main one. She was rude, demeaning, investigative, dismissive and made underhanded comments during the call. Think she was skeptical I got a job. Until now I had a mostly positive view of the jobcentre. She has really spoilt it. I thought people talking of cr*ppy job coaches were lazy complainers. Weirdly, despite her NOT BEING MY MAIN WORK COACH, she has forced me back into in-person job centre meetings. When i told her that my main work coach said im allowed only phone appointments, I believe she lied, claiming that "there are none" and then also made up other excuses like "you have not started your job, so why cant you attend in person?". Worst of all my next in-person meeting next Wednesday is with her :( . I really don't want to ever have to go through the process of speaking to her ever again.
The good news is shortly after yesterdays negative jobcentre call, my workplace called and said that they wont need a reference from a previous employer and just some screenshots of my profile on the freelance platform i worked on and they will accept a reference-exception. They also invited me to take my passport to their HQ for a 'Right to work' check at any time of my choosing. Although I have left a message in my journal asking for my next appointment to be changed to phone only and explained my issues, they never check my journal appointment requests. Called the UC helpline and they also told me to complain and request a meeting change under "service issues" , as its apparently more likely that they will reply.
So. That comes to my main question, How do i get out of meeting her? and ideally going back to phone meetings? if the journal thing doesn't work. I really don't wanna meet that work coach again or attend the job centre again. If I chose to not attend next weeks meeting and instead go to my new workplace for the 'right to work' check at the JC meeting time, would that save me from a sanction? I will almost certainly start work before two weeks time, so wont have to worry about meeting her again or having to go to the damn job centre again. Thanks!

I am NOT OOP. Original post by u/ThrowRA-DNA in AmITheAsshole and Relationship_Advice
Long post, I have provided comments from original threads, these provide extra information however are not vital for understanding the post and can be skipped. Though, I recommend reading them as they provide more context. Your choice though.
WIBTA if I told my parents I know I’m adopted? - 22 April 2024
Hey people.
This is a long story, but I’m going to try and condense it as much as possible. Basically about 9 weeks ago my maternal cousin and I both completed an Ancestral/DNA test through one of the popular brands.
My parents are very against these DNA tests (I thought) because they don’t like the idea of giving your DNA to these companies and so have forbidden me from doing them in the past when I brought up the idea. Though, I now know the real reason they were against me doing it.
My cousin (James) got his results first and matched with loads of people saying my mother’s maiden name, as well as other names known within my mother’s family line.
I got my results about a week later and not only did I not match with my cousin, I didn’t match with any of my cousins matches nor did anyone share my mothers maiden name. My dad (and I) have an extremely common surname in my country -think “smith”- and I did match with a few people who shared that name but none were close matches, 3rd-4th cousins being the closest. So I’m just assuming it was because it’s a common surname.
James’ family know he’s done the DNA test and he’s shared the results however I have asked him to keep what he knows about mine between us for a while.
I learnt this about 2 weeks ago and have since come to the conclusion that I am adopted. At first this made me feel really upset, and I thought maybe the DNA tests were faulty but after researching, no I don’t think they are. I think I am just adopted. I have two younger brothers who are 11 and 9 who aren’t adopted because I remember my mom being pregnant with them. So I can’t understand why I was adopted.
I want to know tell my parents know about being adopted, I want to in some ways confront them and ask why they’ve lied to me for so long. But I also want to say I still consider them my only family. James thinks it’s a really bad idea, he says I should just keep it to myself because if I tell my parents I know I’m adopted it could have negative consequences on my relationship with my parents and also could get him into trouble with his parents because he bought me the DNA test and he is very close to my parents.
I’ve said I’ll just tell them I bought the test myself but he says they’ll know because he got his test so recently.
WIBTA if I ignored my cousin and confronted my parents about me being adopted anyway?
END OF POST 1
No verdict flare, not sure why, but most comments seem to be NTA.

Some relevant comments:

Comment thread 1
Commenter:

I can't imagine what you must be going through, realising that you may well be adopted, through a DNA test.

OOP:

I’m 18, but I still live with my parents part time and I live at Uni halls the other time.

Comment Thread 2
Commenter 1:

Have the DNA test done with a different company to double-check results so that your parents can't claim that the first one is in error.

OOP

Yeah, honestly this is a good idea

Commenter 2:

It might be better to tell them about the existing results before you know what the real story is. Right now you're in a gray area, where you have some possibly mixed up information and you're genuinely just asking questions rather than confronting anyone. This gives them a chance to (very belatedly) do the right thing ... or not, which would also be illuminating in a way. You can always seek confirmation and drama later if necessary or desired.

Comment Thread 3:
Commenter

You matched with distant cousins, perhaps a family member fell pregnant at a young age and your parents stepped up as a young couple who were ready to have children?

OOP:

The thing is I don't 100% know they're related to my dad because of how common our last name is. It's likely (imo) that it's just some other people I've matched with that share our name.

Update

I (M18) found out I’m adopted through one of those at home DNA kits. I’ve matched with my biological mom (F33), but now I don’t know what to do. Do I message her or just pretend that this never happened? What do I say? - 4 May 2024
TL;DR at the bottom.
This is a long story, I’m going to try and condense it. I’ve spoken about it before on a different post on my profile if you want more details.
In the past I’ve spoken about wanting to do one of those Ancestry and DNA at home tests, but my parents (or who I thought were my parents) were always against them. They told me because they don’t trust those companies with your DNA, but I obviously know the real reason now.
A while ago my cousin and I decided to buy a test each and I completed mine in secret. I was shocked when not only did I not match with him when we got the results, I didn’t match with anyone who shared a surname with any of my family (except for some matches that shared my dad’s surname, but this is an extremely common surname in my country. Think “Smith” for the USA).
I thought perhaps the test was faulty or wrong, but after some researching I had my doubts that the test was faulty. But just in case I decided to do a second test, with a different company, just in case the first one was somehow wrong. This time I bought three tests, one I gave to my paternal uncle (he’s actually only a few years older than me despite being my uncle) and one I gave to my maternal cousin, and the last one I did myself.
We sent them all off and we got our results surprisingly quickly, about 10 days after we sent them off (yesterday night). But these tests confirmed my suspicions, I’m not related to my family.
And even more, I matched with a woman “49.8% DNA match, predicted parent/child”. Looked on her profile and she was born in 1991 meaning she would have been 15/16ish when I was born. She hasn’t been active on the app for over 6 months.
I’ve written out messages to her to send and then deleted them, I’ve contemplated just saying “hello” but haven’t had the courage to actually send it off. I also could just turn off matches and make my profile invisible, that way she wouldn’t see me if she logged back in again. I could pretend she doesn’t exist and that I never found this out. I have another mom out there that I know nothing about, it makes me feel so anxiously curious.
My parents never told me I was adopted, I feel utterly betrayed by them. I’ve resisted the urge to confront them about it since I got the results back from the first test, but now I know for certain I just want to smash my fists into a wall. I want to scream at them. I hate that they’ve kept this from me for my entire life.
Now the only people who know I know is my uncle and my cousin. I trust that they won’t say anything to anyone until I’ve spoken to people about it.
I feel so lost and confused. Should I message my biological mom? Or pretend she doesn’t exist and turn my profile invisible from her?
TL;DR:
Discovered I'm adopted via DNA kit. Matched with biological mom, unsure whether to message or ignore. Feeling betrayed by adoptive parents. Uncertain about confronting them. Feeling lost and conflicted.
END OF POST 2

Some relevant comments

Comment Thread 1
Commenter:

I'm wondering if there is a possibility she did the DNA test as a vague hope that maybe one day you would use it as a tool to find her and reach out to her. Whether or not she did, the ball is in your court and I think it should stay that way until you are ready to deal with it. Reach out when you are ready. There is no real reason to rush right now, you have time.

OOP:

Yeah, I’m guessing that she did it with hopes that I would also do one one day. I mean, that makes sense. Otherwise you wouldn’t have made your profile public.

Commenter:

There are probably other factors as well, but I would bet you being able to find her was one of them, if not the only one.

Comment Thread 2
Commenter:

I gave a child up for adoption at around same age your bio mum was. Your parents are your parents. They shouldn’t have kept this secret from you, and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that.

OOP:

My parents aren’t infertile because I have younger siblings and I remember my mom being pregnant with them.

Comment Thread 3
Commenter:

You've said that you can make your profile invisible to her temporarily? Then change that later? If so, I would do that.

OOP:

Yes, I’ve done this. I don’t want her to see my profile and thinks it’s an invitation to reach out. Or to get her hopes up that I’m actively searching for her so better she just doesn’t see it. Until I’ve decided what I want to do.

Update 2

Update: I (M18) found out I’m adopted through one of those at home DNA kits. I’ve matched with my biological mom (F33), but now I don’t know what to do. Do I message her or just pretend that this never happened? What do I say? - 8 May 2024
Hey people,
A lot has happened to me since my last post here, and before I start to explain I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented/replied to my OP. It was really helpful and I truly appreciate it. For full context read the other posts on my profile which discuss this situation further.
First things first, I decided to turn my profile private/invisible. I didn't want my biological mom (BM) to see that I had done a DNA test as an invitation to message me. I looked at her profile one last time and it still said "last online 6 months ago" or something like that, so she obviously doesn't check the app regularly. I wrote down information about her (first and last name, birth year, 'past' family names) in case in the future I lose access to the account or if I want to try to track her down and her account disappeared. Though I am hoping that if I do decide to have contact with her in the future, I will just be able to message her on the app. But just in case.
I "confronted" my parents about what I had found out, there was a lot of crying. Especially from my mom, but also from me. I told them how hurt I was that they never told me, and how much it has caused pain and anxiety to find this out on my own and feeling like I was unable to ask them about it.
They apologised to me, they explained to me that they wanted to tell me. They planned on doing it when I turned 8, but they 'couldn't go through with it' because they 'didn't want to hurt me'. They said every year they planned to tell me and every year they put it off. They told me they did it out of love for me, but also out of anxiety that it would change our relationship for the worse.
I explained to them that even if them telling me that I was adopted did hurt me as a child I would have had them there to support me through it. And that now I had found out on my own and felt like I didn't have anyone there to understand what I was going through. They took responsibility for not telling me and for the hurt it caused when I was now.
We hugged, we cried and we forgave each other. Even though I don't agree with them not telling me, I can understand their feelings and why they found it so difficult when I was younger.
After we had finished talking about it they asked me what I wanted moving forward, if I wanted to tell my brothers that I was adopted or just carrying on like nothing happened. I said I no longer wanted it to be a secret and that I wanted them to tell my brothers what they should have told me. I didn't want it to seem like a 'dirty' secret, but simply a fact of who I am and where I came from. I want it to be something celebrated, not feared to be talked about. I wasn't born into this family, but this is my family. And I feel so blessed that I was given the opportunity to become part of this family.
I asked what they knew about my BM, they said not much. They know that she was in foster care when she fell pregnant with me, and that she would have only been 14/15 at the time. She decided she didn't want to keep me but didn't want to have a termination and so I was put up for adoption and that she requested 'no contact' with me. I hope that the situation around my birth wasn't traumatic for her. I know this is a weird thought, but I hope she just got pregnant with me from another person her own age and that I wasn't a product of any abuse. That makes me sad to think about.
Sorry for the long post. Again thank you all for the help and advice you all gave me. I appreciate everything.
TL;DR: Made profile private to avoid contact from biological mom. Confronted parents about adoption, led to tears and apologies. They planned to tell me but couldn't. Agreed to tell brothers, no longer want adoption to be a secret. Grateful for my family. Biological mom was in foster care, gave me up for adoption at 14/15, requested no contact. Hopeful for her well-being. Grateful for support and advice.
END OF POST 3

Reminder, I am NOT OOP, please do NOT comment on original threads or contact OOP.