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Just a quick break from the main story while I try my hand at some more of the usual SMG4 hijinks to round out this Volume.
Hope you enjoy!
Over at the Guest House, Zooble carries some trash bags outside and hurls them into the dumpster. One of them opens and reveals a silvery hand protruding from inside. Looks like they're still cleaning up after last night's "infestation." She comes back inside as Gangle finishes sweeping up some remaining Murmur bits while Bob is also lazing about in the lounge.
Bob: Nice job, team.
Gangle: But you didn't even do anything.
Bob: I'm giving off positive vibes. It's important to spread positivity and promote a positive environment.
Zooble: Yeah, nothing more inspiring than a snoring trashbag on the couch.
Bob: Damn straight! And you guys did a pretty good job! Five stars all around.
Mr. Puzzles: distant OH COME ON!!!!
Don't worry, that was just a cameo.
Gangle: Why not just hang out in the Castle?
Bob: Usually I would, but Boopkins is busy with family stuff, and the rest are either over at Omnia or off to the Sweetlands. I'm also pretty much barred from the Castle because Karen hates me.
Gangle: Why is that?
Bob: She says I'm a "bad influence" on her kids or something. I was just teaching them some cool life hacks.
One of them was how to siphon gas from a car, by the way.
Zooble: So you only like being lazy around others, is that it?
Bob: Can you blame a man who just wants some company?
Gangle: What about Melony and Kaizo?
Bob: They're already dealing with the hole.
The two carnies exchange glances of confusion and concern.
Zooble: What hole?
The three meet with Kaizo and Melony behind the Castle. Gangle and Zooble are understandably concerned about the circular opening hanging in the air. The inside shimmers with mysterious colors that have never been seen before.
Zooble: I'm sorry, what the hell is this?
Bob: A hole.
Zooble: Yeah, I see that. Where did it come from?
Kaizo: It appeared last night. A Void Angel had come through and attacked SMG3's ship.
Zooble: And WHAT has been done about this?
Melony: We tried boarding it up, but the planks just fell in. Then we called E. Gadd over and he took a look inside.
Zooble: Hm.........
Zooble sticks their head into the hole to take a look. A tumultuous sea of quantum foam lights the omnidirectional sky. Small visages of vessels and islands dot the horizon as massive wormlike creatures slither through the surrounding void. Zooble pulls their head back and takes a moment to process what they just saw.
Zooble: pop Yeah, this is gonna be a problem.
Bob: Hey guys I brought snacks.
They all just give him the stink eye as he stands there with a bag of chips.
Gangle: Shouldn't you be taking this a bit more seriously?
A shadowy ghoul suddenly pops out of the portal. Gangle shrieks as it lunges towards her, but Bob swiftly uses his special technique and blows it full of holes. The visage of the creature collapses to the ground before vanishing.
Gangle: W-w-what was that?
Kaizo: Liminus. Nasty little things.
Zooble: Where the hell did it come from!?
Bob eyes the hole.
Zooble: Right, right, the hole. How the hell are you all so calm about this!?
Melony: I'm more worried about what's going on in the city.
And for good reason. Over in Mushroom City, shit is most certainly fucked. Duviri Dax soldiers, Corrupted units, and Murmur creatures flood the streets, laying waste to all in their path. In the sky, a mechanical roar echoes through the sky as the massive Orowyrm Lodun slithers across the skyline. The military has already mobilized, gunning down any and all hostiles with extreme prejudice. Chris and Swag leading the offensive against the Void Invaders as they regroup with Hal Monitor and the Police.
Chris: Whats the situation, Mr. Monitor?
Hal: We just lost the town hall to Dominus Thrax's forces, and those neural sentries are picking us off like flies.
Swag: Is the coffee machine still working?
Hal: Yes, but we don't know how much our coffee stores will last. My question is how the hell we're gonna deal with that dragon?
Chris: Don't worry, we found someone who can deal with that.
Galloping through the streets on a majestic Kaithe, a lone Drifter guns down Dax and Murmur alike with their trusty Sirocco pistol. They jump from their mount and draw their dual nikanas, cutting down any and all aggressors with ease. The Drifter looks up as Lodun slithers between the skyscrapers and they lock eyes.
Lodun: YOU PARASITE, I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES UNTIL THE VERY SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY.
Unfazed, the Drifter mounts their Kaithe. It's wings unfold as it flies towards the Orowyrm, the Drifter readying their blades..... right before we come back to the showgrounds.
Zooble: Huh.
Kaizo: Yeah. It's getting bad.
Gangle: Now what? There has to be SOMETHING we can do.
Just then, we see something digging it's way to the surface right next to the group.
Zooble: Oh God dammit.
Zooble transforms their arms into blades, readying themselves for another Murmur attack, but it turns out to be......... someone familiar.
Bob: Oh, hi Steve!
Yep. Our blocky lord and savior Steve has returned.
Gangle: You know this guy?
Bob: Yeah! Steve is an old friend of Mario's. He's also a business partner of mine but that's not important.
Melony: Hey Steve, we're having some trouble figuring out what to do about this Void hole. You think you could help us out?
Steve makes his way over to the group and notices the portal. You can practically hear the gears in his head turning as he aggressively focuses on what to do next.
Steve: Yeah I got time.
And just like that, he starts building. He starts off with a ring of cobblestone around the portal, followed by another ring with some dispensers and sensors sprinkled in there. Then he starts digging out tge ground inside, placing multiple cauldrons and some trapdoors on the bottom. Finally, he gets to wiring some Redstone contraptions and placing some chests until his latest project is complete.
Steve: All done.
Another Dax Gladius exits through the hole.
Gladius: Surrender or di-
Steve flicks a switch and the Gladius is immediately feathered with arrows from all directions, dropping his items upon death into the receptacles below. Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a mob spawner farm. And just as quickly as he arrived, Steve departs by digging below and hiding his path.
Melony: Huh.......problem solved, I guess.
Kaizo: Well, if anybody needs me I'll be taking a nap. Wake me up if somebody starts dying, okay?
Bob: I'm gonna go hit up Baro and see if he's interested. We may even get some relics outta this.
And so they head off, leaving a very confused Zooble and Gangle.
Gangle: I can't help but feel like this violates some kind of convention.
The two head back to the Guest House and settle down in the lounge.
Zooble: All's well that ends well, I suppose.
Gangle: Yeah.........
Gangle seems to be in a bit of a daze.
Zooble: You alright?
Gangle: Yeah, I'm fine........ it's just.......
Zooble knows what's on her mind, but she still gives Gangle the chance to speak hers.
Gangle: I think Kaufmo would've liked it here.
Zooble: Yeah.......
They scoot over to Gangle and place their arm around her shoulder.
Zooble: I think so, too.

I sincerely don’t understand what is happening to gaming. Gamers seem to be less and less accepting of new and different things when it comes to diversity and inclusion when it wasn’t a problem in the early 2000s. The mere presence of someone who isn’t seen as “the norm” is seen as a political statement to some and it’s tiring. I remember when we just enjoyed playing with cool characters and awesome gameplay now everything that isn’t on the same track is being called woke. I remember the Elden ring incident with black gamers wanting more customization options for hairstyles, gamers had a problem with that, and with the TLOU2 having one of the main characters be a female with a muscular build, they had a problem with that as well, now with Yasuke being in one of the latest Assassin’s creed games and the whole internet is at war. What’s particularly odd is they keep claiming it isn’t historically accurate but when you really think about it who is playing AC for its historical accuracies? since when has AC been famously known to be historically accurate. No one had so much of a problem when AC black flag, a game that took place in the caribbean featured a white man as the main lead, or Nioh featured a white samurai as the main character, but now it’s a big problem? Gamers deserve less.

🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌 🌌🚀🕳️🚀🕳️🚀🌌 🌌🚀🕳️🚀🕳️🚀🌌 🌌🚀🕳️🚀🕳️🚀🌌 🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
WORMHOLE CORP WITH NO SCANNING REQUIREMENTS --- WE HAVE COOL DUDES ON COMMS AROUND THE CLOCK IN ALL TZ!!!
As observed during this latest wormhole conflict... BOB DEMANDS SACRIFICES!!!
"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior BOB???"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGo_azgMjNU
BobVult!!! [BOB V] is the corporation for players of any experience (newbies to bittervets) and commitment level (on monthly to hardcore) located in all time zones (US, EU, AU) demanding the best culture and PVP from a group in wormhole space.
Living in a C2-C2/LS wormhole guarantees that we have a 3J connection to Jita and rollable, new connection to LowSec on demand! If you are already PVPing in LowSec, stop being familiar on undock to the same people every day! Be mysterious, jump out of a wormhole into LowSec and be someone's worst, unknown nightmare!!!
FOR ALL RECRUITS:

• ACTIVE and DRAMA FREE PVP community in wormhole space with "members first" culture
  
• You find the content, we get the kills, you keep the loot
  
• NO TAX Industrial + Jita Price Buyback; No need to haul anything!
  
• Corporate Tools Available: Discord, Pathfinder, Integrations w/ ChatGPT/Python
  
• IRL HOBBIES: 3D Printing/Scanning, Blacksmithing, Farming, Firearms, Gardening, Hardware Programming, Software Programming, Woodworking, Pets=Family, etc
  

FOR LOW SP PLAYERS:

• PI training available for new players to have a steady base income stream of 100mISK/DAY
  
• C3 Myrmidon site running for steady WH PVE of 150mISK/hr~
  
• UNLIMITED Gas, Data, Relic sites scanned and run daily with complete SAFETY (300mISK/hr)
  
• T1 Roams of any and all ship hulls flown weekly to gain experience with the group
  
• Mentors, training and free ships available to all new members; we can assist with your EVE Online Vision!
  

FOR VETERANS:

• LS Static for BLOPSing and daily PVP roams
  
• WH Rage Rolling for content
  
• C5 Farmhole for best ISK/Risk income available in EVE Online (1B+ ISK per hour)
  

Let's be honest, my time is precious and so is yours, when I get off work, I want to login to EVE Online and play the game with people as if I were a part of the local community in town. Consider this as the last corporation you will ever join because of our personal friendships we will develop!
For more details join our…

In-game recruitment channel: “BobVult!!! Recruitment”
Discord recruitment channel: https://discord.com/invite/fTqA8emb
Zkillboard: https://zkillboard.com/corporation/98752603/

Yes, I would play this game on my public account, I am not a coward.
One of the main reasons I'm interested in it is because it's highly moddable. It allows for a lot of creativity and customization, which is really appealing to me. Many people use it to create visual novels or set up scenes and pictures. This is exactly what I want to do.
The community around it is incredibly active and supportive, which means there's a wealth of content of mods available. Whether you're looking for new characters, backgrounds, or specific tools to enhance your projects, you're likely to find it or get help from other users. This makes the whole experience much more enjoyable, to be honest.
My Steam profile is: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198172067087/
Thank you for even reading this, I hope you have a good day :D
Below is details of said game/tool
コイカツ！ / Koikatsu Party ABOUT THIS GAME
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ The Ultimate Anime Character Maker ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Do you dream about your perfect waifu, and curse the fact that she only exists in your imagination? Well, turn that frown upside down, because the character of your dreams can now be reality!
Customizing your own adorable anime character is easy with Illusion's latest and greatest invention—a character creation system that employs ultra high-quality anime-style shaders.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Over 300+ Adjustable Settings ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Are you a man of culture? Do you have very specific preferences? Well, with over 300 different settings you can adjust, we have all the options you need to sculpt a character to match your refined tastes.
Use our custom suite of precision tools to adjust every aspect of your masterpiece, and watch as our engine renders her with ultra high-quality anime shaders. Sleek graphics and textures will help bring your waifu to laifu!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A Wealth of Options for Customizing Faces ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Our character creator gives you an unparalleled level of control over facial features, and intuitive controls make it easy for anyone to design the perfect face.
Shape, size, position, contours, dimensions—customize them all! Want pointy elf ears? Easy! Want to change the color of just one eye? Piece of cake! You have the ability to make a character for any type of setting you can imagine!
Choose from a wide variety of different hairstyles. And even better, you can select different hair sections and adjust them individually for ultimate customizability!
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Sculpt the Perfect Body ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ A wide range of options to customize your character's body will leave you wondering why you ever bothered with real people. Seriously, who needs reality when you have anime?
Sculpt every curve with settings both general and specific. Breasts, hips, arms, busts, legs: seriously, we've got options to adjust pretty much anything you can dream of.
But wait, there's more! Why not give your character purple skin, or add in cool shadows, or even change the color of her outline? We support all sorts of coloring schemes and light options. I mean, this is anime we're talking about. The sky's the limit! ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 30 Unique Personality Archetypes ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Of course, physical perfection is nothing without personality. That's why we provide 30 fully unique personality archetypes for you to give your waifu!
Start with a knockout body, add in the perfect face, and season with a dash of tsundere or tomboy, and blam! You've got your own personally perfect anime heroine!

I usually opt for a Bob or something like that, but I want some more fun experimental hairstyles! I miss that about when I first loc’d up. Any suggestions?

I’ve seen a lot of people talking about Todo’s new hand and there has already been tons of misinformation from those who don’t know how a vibraslap works. No hate as this is a weird and unusual percussion instrument. The biggest thing to cover is:
There is no contact between the ball and the box on a vibraslap.
It’s totally understandable that when you’re reading this you’d think that he’d be clapping using the instrument. However, it’s the several metal pins (their proper name is vibraslap teeth) inside that do the ‘clapping’. If the ball was to hit the wooden box, this would damage the instrument and muffle it's rattle.
Step by step on how a vibraslap works: (images 2 & 3) 1. Hold it out in front of yourself with one hand. 2. Smack the wooden ball with your other hand. 3. The wooden ball bobs and bounces sending vibrations throughout the metal wiring. 4. The metal wiring connects to the wooden box. 5. Inside the box the pins are floating in place. 6. The metal pins jump up and down from the vibration and strike the interior of the wooden box. (Similar to a maraca or rattle snake tail, but they can only move vertically.)
Mechanics of Todo's technique: In the latest chapter the narrator mentions that Todo now can swap 50 times per second. This doesnt mean that he's hitting the ball 50 times every second, but instead the pins strike the interior of the box 50 times/sec. I would assume that Todo made some kind of binding vow that removed clapping as Boogie Woogie's activation and replaced it with the striking of the pins.
This means that while Todo's vibraslap is rattling, he can swap at will. This is such an insane buff. Todo can now strike his vibraslap and continue fighting for a few seconds while it rattles, and then swap up to 50 times/sec at any moment without warning or moving a muscle. He controlls the battlefield and is easily a special grade sourcerer with this buff (imo at least).
Todo Stocks are higher than they've ever been. Thank god my goat is back. 👑
Other vibraslap info: Here's a link to the wiki page for a vibraslap: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibraslap
Vibraslap's are actually based on the Latin American Jawbone instrument (4th image). More information on that here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jawbone_(instrument)

So, I purchased Bob's Tall Tales on Xbox Series X and started up a new single-player game on the Island. Despite purchasing the content, when I try to buy the Bob's Tall Tales engrams or craft any of the items the game won't let me. Saying, "You must own Bob's Tall Tales in order to make this item." So as far as ASA is concerned, I don't own the content I purchased. Meanwhile, if I check the Microsoft store, it says I purchased it.
I have a few mods running in this game, but nothing crazy that completely overhauls how the game works. Currently, I have: all the free Additions Ascended creatures, Cyrus's Magna Geckos, a few of Klinger's building tile sets, Marnii's Hairstyles, Manolo's Death Recovery, and Ghazawl's Upgrade Station. Nothing that I think would cause a conflict with Bob's Tall Tales unless I am wrong.
I'm just curious if anyone else is having this issue and possibly knows how to fix it. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

Jerry Seinfeld, the once lauded comedian and sitcom star of the show that bears his name, has been making the news in recent days. Not only for his newest film, Unfrosted, which landed on Netflix on May 3rd, but also for his recent comments on the state of comedy (particularly tv comedy) in 2024. In an interview with The New Yorker, while discussing aspects of his own life and career, Seinfeld suddenly slammed “The extreme left” and “P.C. Crap” for ruining comedy on tv and for being too offended at jokes to find them funny.
Suddenly, the man whose biggest claim to fame since Seinfeld was a show about getting coffee with funnier folks than he found himself joining an intrepid list of comedians and celebrities from a “greater era” blaming the same things for not being funny anymore.
Well, Mr. Seinfeld, I have been part of the unlucky group to have seen your latest film, Unfrosted, which has to be one of the unfunniest film’s I’ve seen in the last year. At least.
The film follows the story of the invention of the Pop-Tart. In 1963, Kellogg’s and Post are rival breakfast companies that are scrambling to create the next best thing in breakfast cereal. Through a wild array of hijinx that include mexican and russian sugar cartels, cross-company romances a la Romeo and Juliet and striking mascots led by an intentionally over-serious Hugh Grant, the fight for breakfast pastry infamy raged on.
Seinfeld directed, co-wrote and stars in the film as Bob Cabana, the Kellogg’s executive who spearheaded the invention of the Pop-Tart. Melissa McCarthy co-stars as Donna Stankowski, and a seemingly never-ending who’s who of modern comedians including Jim Gaffigan, Amy Schumer, Sebastian Maniscalco, Cedric the Entertainer and more appear in various roles through the film.
To my surprise, I actually think Seinfeld nailed the intended vibe of a film with the type of whimsy as this carries. Instead of opting for a more serious tone like last year’s Tetris or Air, Unfrosted takes on a sillier tone. They know the story they’re telling isn’t to be taken with so much bravado, and I commend that. We currently are in an era where corporate biopics dominate, for some strange reason. With even more on the way, I hope they can match the tone that this film brings. As directorial debuts go, I was not offended by this one as much as others, and I really don’t think Seinfeld’s direction was the issue here.
The biggest cardinal sin that the film commits, though, is that it’s terribly unfunny. And that’s not for a lack of attempts either. There are so many jokes in the film. Only two I even gave a chuckle at. I counted. It made it difficult to even enjoy the performances put to screen by many of the skilled actors and comedians that appear in the film.
...
Read the full review here: https://pressplaymag.com/unfrosted-2024-review-mr-seinfeld-is-the-comedy-in-the-room-with-us-now/

Jerry Seinfeld, the once lauded comedian and sitcom star of the show that bears his name, has been making the news in recent days. Not only for his newest film, Unfrosted, which landed on Netflix on May 3rd, but also for his recent comments on the state of comedy (particularly tv comedy) in 2024. In an interview with The New Yorker, while discussing aspects of his own life and career, Seinfeld suddenly slammed “The extreme left” and “P.C. Crap” for ruining comedy on tv and for being too offended at jokes to find them funny.
Suddenly, the man whose biggest claim to fame since Seinfeld was a show about getting coffee with funnier folks than he found himself joining an intrepid list of comedians and celebrities from a “greater era” blaming the same things for not being funny anymore.
Well, Mr. Seinfeld, I have been part of the unlucky group to have seen your latest film, Unfrosted, which has to be one of the unfunniest film’s I’ve seen in the last year. At least.
The film follows the story of the invention of the Pop-Tart. In 1963, Kellogg’s and Post are rival breakfast companies that are scrambling to create the next best thing in breakfast cereal. Through a wild array of hijinx that include mexican and russian sugar cartels, cross-company romances a la Romeo and Juliet and striking mascots led by an intentionally over-serious Hugh Grant, the fight for breakfast pastry infamy raged on.
Seinfeld directed, co-wrote and stars in the film as Bob Cabana, the Kellogg’s executive who spearheaded the invention of the Pop-Tart. Melissa McCarthy co-stars as Donna Stankowski, and a seemingly never-ending who’s who of modern comedians including Jim Gaffigan, Amy Schumer, Sebastian Maniscalco, Cedric the Entertainer and more appear in various roles through the film.
To my surprise, I actually think Seinfeld nailed the intended vibe of a film with the type of whimsy as this carries. Instead of opting for a more serious tone like last year’s Tetris or Air, Unfrosted takes on a sillier tone. They know the story they’re telling isn’t to be taken with so much bravado, and I commend that. We currently are in an era where corporate biopics dominate, for some strange reason. With even more on the way, I hope they can match the tone that this film brings. As directorial debuts go, I was not offended by this one as much as others, and I really don’t think Seinfeld’s direction was the issue here.
The biggest cardinal sin that the film commits, though, is that it’s terribly unfunny. And that’s not for a lack of attempts either. There are so many jokes in the film. Only two I even gave a chuckle at. I counted. It made it difficult to even enjoy the performances put to screen by many of the skilled actors and comedians that appear in the film.
...
Read the full review here: https://pressplaymag.com/unfrosted-2024-review-mr-seinfeld-is-the-comedy-in-the-room-with-us-now/

"It’ll be entertaining, informative. Like the two old guys on the Muppets." - Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) getting amped up for the Trump-Biden debates.

Quality Control

Republican dreams of recapturing the Senate are shining a little brighter today, after primaries in West Virginia and Maryland handed nominations to less-crazy-than-usual candidates.

• Republicans have a longstanding tradition of picking (how can we put this…) unfortunate candidates for key Senate races. Just think back to the doomed Georgia campaign of the, um, mercurial football star, Herschel Walker, in 2022. Or the downright goofy candidacy of Dr Mehmet Oz in Pennsylvania (who can forget the time he wandered around a grocery store, on camera, as if he’d never seen one before). Even Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is on record saying the GOP has a big problem with what he calls “candidate quality.”
  
• The GOP made no such self-defeating fumbles on Tuesday. West Virginian Republicans nominated Governor Jim Justice (R-WV) to flip the seat of departing Senator Joe Manchin (D-WV). In Maryland, they picked former Governor Larry Hogan, who will face off against Democrat Angela Alsobrooks, a county executive of Prince George’s County. Hogan is pretty well-liked among moderate voters in this blue state, making him a tough matchup for Alsobrooks, who is looking to become Maryland’s first-ever Black female senator. Dems are defending a wafer-thin 51-49 majority, and will likely have to hold Maryland in a tough fight to stay in power. And it matters who runs the Senate, especially for future Supreme Court vacancies. Things may be turning around for Money Mitch.
  
• Disgraced former President Donald Trump, however, didn’t have such a great night. He just can’t seem to outrun Nikki Haley’s zombie presidential campaign, which brought in 20 percent of the vote in Maryland and almost that much in Nebraska. As we’ve noted before, the fact that lots of GOP voters continue turning out in primaries to vote for Haley, who isn’t even running anymore, is not a good omen for Trump.
  

The persistent Haley support, months after she quit the race, suggests plenty of lingering unease among moderate Republicans about Trump. The question becomes what those voters will do in November.

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

Want to know the latest internet stories but can't seem to get past the Kendrick vs. Drake debacle? Us too! Break out of your eco-chamber with Jon Favreau on the latest episode of Crooked's subscriber exclusive show Terminally Online, where Jon asks staffers around the office about their most recent internet rabbit-holes. To hear this exclusive series, join our Friends of the Pod community at https://crooked.com/friends or subscribe to Crooked’s Friends of the Pod on Apple Podcasts.

Under The Radar

A very spooky new CBS News investigation found nearly 80 election deniers are working across key battleground states in important election oversight positions. Cool! Love that!
So there are folks in charge of running elections in places like Nevada that either don’t believe the 2020 election results, pushed election conspiracies, refused to certify past results or publicly supported the January 6th insurrection. One can only imagine what people like this would do if Trump or other MAGA Republicans lose their races come November. (Spoiler: they might try to deny!)

What Else?

The old boys have decided to duke it out face-to-face once again. The Biden v. Trump debate showdown is confirmed, at least for now, for June 27 on CNN. They even agreed to meet again on September 10. Both candidates had scoffed at participating in the traditional schedule from the Commission on Presidential Debates, and have now opted in to at least two network events. RFK Jr. said he feels excluded. Poor thing. Must be tough! We are surely in for a respectful classy healthy debate amongst gentlemen, right?
The publicity around Trump’s criminal trial led a majority of Americans (52%) to believe, for the first time, that he did falsify business records, according to a new poll, endorsing prosecutors’ key charge against him. The big question now: will the jury agree? Also, how is this guy ahead in the polls???
The number of abortions in the U.S. actually grew during the 18 months after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, according to a report by the Society for Family Planning. A major factor: telehealth visits, which are now responsible for 19% of all abortions in the U.S., compared to 4% in mid-2022. Research has found telehealth abortions are as safe and effective as in-person visits.
Oligarchy alert: just 50 American billionaire families have dumped over $600 million into the 2024 election, according to a new report by the progressive nonprofit Americans for Tax Fairness. Almost 70% of those contributions went to (you guessed it) conservative candidates and causes. C’mon, rich folks, shouldn’t you spend that dough on a new set of polo ponies or something? Dressage horses? Whatever freaky stuff you guys like.
Slovakian Prime Minister Robert Fico remains in critical condition after he was shot multiple times in what officials are calling an apparent political assassination attempt. The 59-year-old pro-Russian leader was shot in the abdomen and is still in the hospital.
A jury has been sworn in for the bribery trial of Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ). A prosecutor told the court on Wednesday that Menendez “put his power up for sale.” A defense attorney countered that Menendez was “not as an agent of the Egyptian government,” took no bribes, and is “an American patriot.” Then a bunch of gold bars fell out of Menedez’s pockets.
Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) scorched his fellow Republicans for “prostrating themselves” outside Trump’s hush money trial in Manhattan this week. Romney said: “I think it’s a little demeaning to show up in front of the courthouse — and particularly one where we’re talking about an allegation of paying a porn star. And it’s really, really very difficult to watch.”

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Light At The End Of The Email

The Supreme Court ordered Louisiana to use a congressional map drawn with an additional majority Black district in this upcoming election, stomping out a lower court ruling that called the map an illegal racist gerrymander. This is good news for Democrats hoping to gain control of the House in November. And we need all the good news we can get these days.
Inflation eased for the first time in 2024, in good news for consumers and the economy. Stocks closed at a record high.
The number of drug overdose deaths in the U.S. fell 3% last year, marking the first annual decline since 2018.

Enjoy

Allium on Twitter: "i wish the orcas knew how many of us were rooting for them"

Originally chronicled here.
I am not the OOP. OOP is u/Lost_Beginning_2824
This was originally posted in TrueOffMyChest
2 updates
(recovered via pushpull)
Original post - February 6th, 2024
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
2nd Update - March 8th, 2024
Trigger warning: mention of domestic violence situation
I’m married to a woman who acts like a teenage girl – February 6th, 2024
My wife behaves like a teenage girl and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is just a rant. Curious to know how many full grown adults behave the way my wife does. I’d say out of all of the adult women I know, like friends, relatives, wives of my friends, none of them behave this way unless they keep it a closely guarded secret.
Editing right here to add that my wife is in her 30s, for context.
My wife is always obsessed with somebody, a man or sometimes multiple men at one time. Usually there is one or two main focuses at a time. When I talk obsessed I mean obsessed like a teenage girl or maybe even preteen girl would be. I’ve seen pictures of her bedroom when she was that age and they were literally wallpapers in posters of her favorite guys. That’s totally normal for a 13 year old girl. She still behaves that way as a woman in her 30s. Granted, our bedroom walls aren’t wallpapered in posters but they probably would be if I allowed it.
Her obsessions have ranged from rock stars, actors, non-entertainment industry public figures. It’s like one day she hasn’t even heard of the guy in question and the next day she’s super fan #1 and knows just about everything there is to know about him. She will read and watch everything there is to watch about the man. She will bring him up in every conversation. She will adopt parts of him into her own personality. She will suggest things that make it clear to me that she wants me to adopt characteristics of these men as part of my appearance or personality. She will openly admit to me that she’s masturbated over the guy multiple times in one day.
When she finds a new man to obsess over, she puts the others in her little stable of men who she always has a place for in her heart and in her fantasies, so they never really go away. The new man just takes center stage and becomes the main focus of almost her entire life.
So the current obsession is so strange to me. Never saw this one coming, but leave it to her to always find somebody new to fall in love with. The intensity that she has during these periods - it’s honestly like she falls in love with these men.
I’m laughing so hard just typing this all. Her current obsession is Bret Hart, former pro wrestler. This woman had never watched wrestling before in her life. Always thought that stuff was below her. And now she’s obsessed with this former pro-wrestler. She watched one show about him, for reasons I’m not aware of, and I could tell almost instantly where it was headed. I thought “here we go…” So now the Bret Hart obsession is in full swing. Has she already dropped close to $1000 in vintage Bret Hart shirts on eBay? Of course. Bought all the stickers and magnets and all sorts of other stupid crap she can find? Yep. Does she send me Bret Hart YouTube clips all.day.long when she’s supposed to be working? Yes she does.
So, I better get to work brushing up on my Bret Hart knowledge and tag lines. This is the key to getting laid when it comes to her. I’m used to this by now. It’s just not something that I can easily explain to anyone I know.
I mean, there’s are things I’m a fan of, but she is next level. I can’t think of anyone I know who is her age and acts like this. She was voted most likely to grow up and become a groupie when she was in high school, so this is absolutely nothing new for her. Sigh.
Many are lighthearted in the comments
plastic_Schedule_891
I mean he's the best there is, was and ever will be so that one makes sense at least .
You don’t think I’m hearing that 10 times a day now?
I better start planning that trip to Calgary.
Limerence is mentioned
poopchutethemoon
Yeah my bouts of limerence have been with people I’ve dated but reading that made me realize that I was very much being obsessive and it was totally all consuming. Glad it’s over honestly. Those feelings are exhausting.
Very interesting to hear you say the feelings are exhausting. It’s like a full time job for my wife, so I could see that. She told me she’s at work with her door closed pretending to be working, but she’s really watching Bret Hart videos on YouTube. She can’t even focus on her job.
OOP reveals more of the life he’s signed up for in the comments
get-bread-not-head
You've pretended to act like other men for 20 years?!
Damn dude, I hope you're finding ways to accept it and cope. That sounds rough, having to be someone else to have sex... stay strong king
Nah, I just learn their catchphrases or gain some deep fan knowledge that’ll impress her or maybe perfect a vocal impersonation of them that I can drop at the opportune time. The vocal impersonations work the best as far as making her like me and being like “ok, wanna have sex now?”
another_canoe
But what do you guys actually share *together*? That's not related to the obsession of the season? (I'm not going to even bother asking if she's tried to learn about any of your hobbies/interests).
NGL, this is all pretty grim to me, my man....and I'm someone who loves having a partner who is passionate about things and nerds out.
I fear that you've spent so long with her infatuations steamrolling over your own interests and preferences that you have convinced yourself that getting attention-by-proxy as your main source of validation from your SPOUSE is a healthy way to live.
If I told you that I was big into anime and Japanese RPGs and the only way I get interested in doing it with my actual wife is if she adopts the catch phrases /personality characteristics of my latest "waifu", would you feel some concern for my wife's mental health?
I'm also wondering about this spending....
She’s pretty dismissive of my interests and hobbies. I’ve told her I’d like her to try to pretend to show a little more interest sometimes. I make an effort to show real interest in her stuff and she does not do the same. I’m very into music and I do geek out over guitars and gear and things like that and she couldn’t tell you anything about any of the guitars I own other than “he has a blue one, he has a red one. “ We do love some of the same bands. Of course she wants to fuck the band members and I just want to talk about the chord progression on my favorite guitar tracks, but it’s close enough. We like a lot of the same movies and that sort of thing. We have the same sense of humor and can keep each other laughing for ages. We have a lot of the same views on life and on the world in general.
I don’t know, we just get each other I guess.
I would be concerned about the waifu thing, but I guess in my case she always likes guys who I think are pretty cool anyway. She has good taste, at least. If she has to be obsessing over some other guy constantly at least she does it over guys I can respect on some level.
Regarding the spending, I spend way more than she does. Only difference is it’s not usually fan merch I’m buying. But she tolerate my spending when it comes to stuff like guitar gear. She rolls her eyes and reprimands me but she tolerates it and just knows I won’t stop. I’m the same when it comes to her fan stuff. I get it, she wants the vintage 1993 Bret Hart shirt that costs hundreds…not a modern shirt that just anyone could go online and buy for $25 right now. She wants the cool, rare stuff. I’m the same with my guitars so I guess it’s like we understand each other in some way. I think it’s weird to become a fan of somebody and 2 days later drop thousands on them though. At least my money pit is consistent.
I think we both feel like we’re the only person who will semi understand and tolerate all of this stuff from each other
Not included here, but in several comments, OOP definitely brings up his wife’s looks as a positive in the relationship and he finds her antics at times amusing or even attractive.
1st Update - February 28th, 2024
I recently wrote about my wife suddenly discovering former pro-wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart one day after never even knowing of his existence, experienced love at first site, and is now even deeper than love with him then she was a month ago.
Tonight, I experienced a good hour of her sobbing, literal sobs, after watching the Bret Hart A&E biography. “I just love him so much. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want any more bad things to happen to him. Also, I’m very jealous he’s not my husband.”
She also went from not wanting any kids to suddenly wanting a baby so she can name it Bret (a girl or a boy, doesn’t matter…they will be named Bret). And she almost had me convinced, but I blame that on the heat of the moment.
She’s bought all sorts of clothes just like his. My wife now dresses like Bret Hart in and outside of the ring.
The past few days she’s been acting really annoyed with me. Finally I’m like “Wtf am I doing wrong?” I bought you Bret Hart stuff for your birthday! I call you Mrs. Bret Hart now, even though you’re my wife. I even sent you flowers at work from Bret. I mean that was supposed to get me points because she knew they were from me and I was playing into her obsession which she’s now apparently shared with everyone she works with. They’ve bought her a giant Bret Hart wall decal for her office.
Ok, so I did forget our anniversary which was very recently. Totally forgot it. Then again, so did she. She was too busy masturbating over Bret Hart to remember our wedding anniversary. I mean bad husband points for me obviously but all the birthday gifts had to have made up for it. I mean, I even ordered a Bret Hart birthday banner and got her a Bret Hart themed birthday cake as if she were a 7 year old boy in the year 1994.
So why is she acting so annoyed lately? Why does she act like she hates me and can’t stand to even be in the same room as me? She finally admits…I’m not Bret Hart. None of her obsession have ever been this bad. She’s seriously threatening me with divorce now because I’m not Bret Hart! She “just wants a guy like that.” She had to go walk the dog today and cry over it, how much she hates me and wishes she was married to Bret Hart. Oh fuck me you want a guy like your dad because that’s what Bret Hart is like…exactly like her dad, the same look, the same hair, the same damn age.
I told her I think she should get checked out for autism or some other sort of disorder. Her obsessions have never been this bad. She should make an appointment now because the waitlist is long. She just laughed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She just has different taste in men now, according to her.
Some comments
psychick
Therapist here - she needs to see a psychiatrist. This is mental illness to the extreme. Either she goes, or you leave. This is ultimatum territory. And, stop giving into her obsession. It makes it worse.
nualt42
Man, when she threatens divorce, take it. Jump at the chance.
Hell, sit, be a good boy and offer your fucking paw if that’s what it takes to get treated to an exit strategy. Don’t worry about dignity, sounds like you gave that up a long time ago.
She’s even looked up the divorce process for where we live and says we can be amicable about everything. She assures me she’s not looking to take any thing that is rightfully mine. She just wants a clean break.
Sophie3546
I’m surprised he even lasted this long. Calling her “Ms. Bret Hart” …..I can’t even fathom.
Excuse me, it’s MRS Bret Hart, not Ms.
NEW UPDATE - March 8th, 2024
Hi, you might remember me as the guy whose wife was obsessed with JFK (35th President of the United States), then experienced a world wind romance with former WWF pro-wrestler Bret Hart (the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be), but now she’s met a new man. I thought the Bret Hart obsession was the worst one yet. Never has she threatened divorce or told me she hated me because I wasn’t the object of her desire. Luckily, that was a relatively quick love affair for her. 3-4 months is a short run for her and one of her men. But I should be careful what I wish for.
This new one is the first time I’ve felt that I should maybe, just possibly, feel legitimately scared. Her newly developing obsession is Patrick Bateman. Yep, the character from American Psycho. Specifically, the movie version played by Christian Bale.
It’s not like she’s just met the guy. She’s seen the movie before but it doesn’t appear that they hit it off initially. Now, she’s suddenly started making constant reference to him. Bret is gone and now it’s just Patrick Bateman and maniacal laughter and purchasing all of the items in his skin care routine. I’d like to see her do 1000 crunches though. That’ll be the day.
She has always admitted to living the 80s preppy/yuppie look. She loves assholes. Assholes are a weakness for her. Psychopaths? Hmm…that’s a new one, unless you count the time she was in love with the Menendez Brothers years ago. God, the pastel Ralph Lauren sweaters she used to try to make me wear. Pastels are just not my shades.
Now, there was a time many years ago where I did have to hide all the knives in our home. I was legitimately scared that she was going to murder me. I forget what she was upset about now. I am, after all, her type - an asshole. I did something that bothered her and she ran for the knives. I had to hide them and then lock myself in a bedroom because she was literally chasing me. That was before she decided that she’d be the female Patrick Bateman. Granted, she says “only mean in the looks and snob department-nothing else.”
She’s trying to determine what the female equivalent to a Patrick Bateman hairstyle would be right now. I’m just worried about the bank account with this obsession. The amount she’ll spend on business cards alone.
Comments
lemonade_sparkle
Your wife is severely mentally ill, and needs help quickly.
Is there no chance of persuading her to get help?
If not, what preparations have you made to leave her?
I’m a strange way, I think these obsessions are what keep her sane.
Her getting help is funny though. It’s not going to happen. Sure I’ve tried to persuade her to see a therapist but she just won’t.
ctIaTErA
I probably shouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am right now. This is truly bizarre. Does she narrate her morning routine in the mirror each day now?
But in all seriousness, she’s chased you with a knife? Thats far more concerning than any of the obsessions with these men, and yes I did read the post about the wrestler. I thought it was just very quirky behavior before, but she seems truly unhinged now.
It was years ago. Like 10+ years ago. I’m much stronger than her so it’s not hard to hold her down if need be.
I AM NOT OOP
NO BRIGADING, NO HARASSMENT

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The Gordian Knot (60’s poppers The Gordian Knot are often likened to the Association for their soft, trippy sound. “Everything about this well-crafted fusion of sunshine pop and gentle psychedelia is geared towards accenting all things melodic” - Record Collector Magazine “The stunning one-two punch of songs ‘It's Gonna Take A Lot’ and ‘We Must Be Doing Something Right’ are not only two of the greatest Sunshine Pop songs I've heard, but maybe among the best songs I've ever heard. The band's soaring, windswept harmonies are on full display upon beds of float-y harpsichord and Osborn's prominent bass hooks.” - Beatle Bob)
The Hornets (The Hornets are a relatively new London band who've been receiving great notices for their live shows. “There's a fair amount of energy happening on this, their full-length debut and stylistically they’re a bit all over the place. Best of the bunch are the Feelgoods/Hot Rods/Groovies-style openers, ‘Mutually Assured Destruction’ and ‘Moonlighting’, and the slightly psychedelic tones of the becalming ‘Seashell Song’.” - Shindig! Magazine
John Larson and The Silver Fields (With its signature blend of guitar-driven power pop, and rock and roll, “Constellation Prize” is another winning addition to the band's growing recorded output. The album boasts 11 songs, each maintaining the band's melodic heft while employing a variety of tempos and styles. John Larson, the principal songwriter of the late Providence power pop band The Marlowes, leads The Silver Fields with a battalion of guitars, soaring harmonies, and a commitment to all things melodic, making music for those who prefer the power in their pop.)
Lava Fangs (NEW RELEASE ON THE KOOL KAT LABEL! Lava Fangs are a Power Pop/Garage/Surf Punk band from Melbourne, Australia. Lava Fangs reunites half of legendary late 90’s/early 00’s hot-rod-punks Fez Perez. Singeguitarist Stu Manchu and drummer Jamie Coghill both had separate musical careers in the intervening 15 years between Jamie’s final Fez Perez gig in 2001 and the formation of Lava Fangs in 2016. Their peculiar blend of eclectic genres is a result of all four band members contributing original songs and lead vocals. “‘Where Did She Go” is an upbeat yet melancholy track, ripe with sweet vocal harmonies, fuzzy guitars and a gentle lead vocal. A true earworm, the song is a taste of melodies to come on their full-length.”)
The Pearlfishers (Driven by main man David Scott's exceptional songwriting and sophisticated arrangements, “Making Tapes For Girls” is a goldmine of pop gems - full of witty and colorful lyrics about the affirmative and healing power of music and pop escapism. “Though they've been around for what in music industry terms is an eternity, The Pearlfishers never seem to break out beyond their indie cult status. Whether that changes because of this latest album remains to be seen, but it does contain more than its fair share of gems, packed with Scott’s sweetly tender vulnerable reflections. While not veering far from the proven sonic template of largely acoustic instrumentation augmented with soft but stirring orchestral flourishes, it finds Scott in nostalgic and sentimental mood.)
Thrift Store Halo (In June of 1998 Thrift Halo released its one and only long-playing record, “World Gone Mad”. Plans for a remixed 25th Anniversary re-release in 2023 were stymied by the band's management's inability to locate the original masters. Located earlier this year, the original session DATs were passed along to long-time producer Kevin Mucha to re-master the ten previously released tracks and several outtakes and also do away with several ill-advised (with the benefit of hindsight) gimmicky fades which, in the minds of the songwriters, marred the original release. Now crisper, with a bit more sonic meat on its bones, the album will rise again.)
Until next week….

"I have very little evidence... But that hasn't stopped me before." - Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld, asserting that Democrats may be preparing “electoral dirty tricks,” before admitting he has no basis to think so.

Criss-Cross Cohen Sauce

Trump’s attorneys spent the day bashing Trump’s former-fixer-turned-nemesis, Michael Cohen, on the witness stand. It wasn’t pretty.

• Lawyers for disgraced former President Donald Trump seemed to relish their chance to assault the credibility of the key witness against their boss in the ongoing Manhattan hush-money trial. Trump lawyer Todd Blanche dove in immediately, asking Cohen about the time he called Blanche a “crying little shit” on TikTok. Cohen admitted that sounded like something he would say (fact check: true!). Blanche threw more shade at Cohen, grilling him about social media remarks and contrasting Cohen’s recent Trump-ire with his past adoration. Blanche blasted Cohen as an infamous and convicted liar, while Trump “listened” on with his head back and his eyes closed.
  
• This trial is drawing near a close — and not a moment too damn soon. Cohen is the final witness for the prosecution, meaning prosecutors may rest their case as soon as Thursday. Next, Trump’s defense gets to call witnesses, if they have any. Trump once said he’d take the stand himself, then waffled about it. He’s done this two-step before: Promise big, then wimp out.
  
• Outside of the courthouse, Trump’s minions gathered to say the kinds of things that the judge has barred Trump from saying in a formal gag order. The most notable visitor: U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), who called the case an illegitimate sham, but never entered the courtroom. Others included Senator J.D. Vance (R-OH), Governor Doug Burgum (R-ND), and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy. New loyalty test alert!
  

Trump’s appeal to end the gag order was denied Tuesday morning, just as his MAGA faithful were mustering outside the courthouse to talk big into microphones on his behalf. But that, surely, was one big coincidence.

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

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Under The Radar

So… should we panic about the nerve-wracking New York Times poll data showing Trump leading President Joe Biden in five key battleground states? We’d be lying if we said we’re NOT breathing into a paper bag. But panic is not the order of the day, according to Pod Save America co-host, Dan Pfeiffer (who also hosts the Friends of the Pod exclusive, Pollercoaster). “The picture is not super pretty,” Pfeiffer said on today’s episode of the What a Day podcast. But, he continued, “no, you should not be running around like a chicken with your head cut off.”
First of all, this election cycle is still in its early days. Second, Biden doesn't need to carry all six battleground states to win the election. If Biden wins just Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan, he’ll prevail, Pfeiffer pointed out. And in those three states, even this poll shows Biden within the margin of error among “likely voters” (rather than all registered voters, with whom Biden's numbers are worse).
Still, the president clearly has work to do. He’s not just behind Trump. He trails Democratic Senate candidates. Biden won Nevada by two points in 2020, but now lags Trump by a staggering 12 points among registered voters there. By contrast, Senator Jacky Rosen (D-NV) leads her Republican challenger by two points in the Silver State. Senator Bob Casey (D-PA) is five points ahead of his Republican opponent in Pennsylvania, where Trump leads Biden by three points.
Curiously, the NYT poll also found that 17 percent of registered voters actually blame BIDEN for the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, despite the fact that Trump appointed the justices who did this and then went around taking credit. Never mind, I think maybe we should panic again!

What Else?

The Biden administration told Congress it plans to move forward on a shipment of more than $1 billion in new weapons for Israel, the Wall Street Journal reported on Tuesday, citing unnamed officials. The latest shipment includes over $700 million in tank ammunition and $500 million in tactical vehicles. The Biden administration has stressed its opposition to an Israeli assault on the southern Gaza city of Rafah over fears of a humanitarian catastrophe, but has so far only withheld a single shipment of 2,000-pound bombs.
Gov. Tate Reeves (R-MS) signed a new anti-trans bill Monday that bans transgender people from using bathrooms, locker rooms, or dormitories that do not correspond to their sex assigned at birth, or risk being sued. Reeves has already banned trans athletes from competing in women’s sports and banned gender-affirming care for minors.
Secretary of State Antony Blinken got on stage during a surprise visit to Kyiv and played guitar for a cover of Neal Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World.” The idea, seemingly, was to reassure Ukrainian leaders that the U.S. still supports their war against Russia, a few weeks after Congress approved a delayed $60 billion aid package. Is this what they teach in the School of Foreign Service?
Meanwhile, President Biden signed a bipartisan bill Monday that bans Russian imports of enriched uranium, the main fuel used by nuclear power plants. Russia accounts for more than a fifth of U.S. nuclear fuel, but Biden is looking to cut financial ties with the Kremlin. The bill, which allocates $2.7 billion for domestic uranium, was held up for months by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) while he threw a tantrum about some of his provisions getting nixed in the defense bill. Shocker. Don’t hurt yourself working so hard for America, Ted!
The Arizona Supreme Court agreed to delay enforcing the state’s 1864 near-total abortion ban until late September, which could bump the law from ever going into effect. Gov. Katie Hobbs (D-AZ) signed a repeal earlier this month, but it won’t go into force before a stay on the ban is lifted, which would have potentially left a small window of time for Republicans to get doctors thrown in jail for performing abortions. Sorry, fellas, we know you really wanted to!
House Democrats opened an investigation into Trump’s disgraceful meeting with oil executives, in which he reportedly begged for $1 billion in campaign donations in exchange for axing dozens of Biden’s environmental policies.
Rudy Giuliani has been ducking his indictment by an Arizona grand jury last month for allegedly trying to overturn Trump’s loss in the state, and has yet to be served. Prosecutors reportedly made multiple attempts to hand the former U.S. attorney his summons, but have been unable to reach him in person or by phone. Maybe they should try summoning him from the underworld.

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Light At The End Of The Email

Popular children’s YouTube/TikTok star Ms. Rachel joined forces with Cameo to raise money for the Save the Children’s Emergency Fund, donating all proceeds towards children in Gaza, Sudan, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and Ukraine.
A Georgia high school senior was accepted into 231 colleges and awarded $14.7 million in scholarships. Eighteen-year-old Madison Crowell is headed to High Point University on a full ride where she will major in exercise science with hopes to become a physical therapist. Wow… 231 colleges? Never mind tuition, just think of the application fees!

Enjoy

Crowsa Luxemburg on Twitter: "me when i send an email with one (1) typo"