I know the title sounds worse than it is but i couldn't fit all of the details in there.
LONG STORY BUCKLE IN.
For the sake of clarity we will call ex best friend, best friend. And the guy im seeing will be Adam, best friends boyfriend (yes boyfriend) is Zach.
A year ago best friend, Zach, and I moved in to a house together. Zach and best friend are both GM's of a chain restaurant, best friend only got her GM position because of Zach. No one can know this information at work because it's against company policy. When we all moved in together i started working as a shift lead under best friend so we could both guarantee we could pay rent, since she controlled my hours.
While working at this restaurant i met Adam who was a delivery driver, we hit it off really well and became instant friends. It was truly platonic between us during this time.
Zach and best friend's relationship has been going downhill for a while, she kept saying she wants to break up with Zach but he doesn't have another place to go, and she doesn't want him to be homeless. I repeatedly told her she can't keep worrying about that, as he is an adult and needs to figure out life on his own. I reminded her the times we grew the most was when we had to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and keep going. She said his criminal record would make it difficult for him to get on his feet and she doesn't want that. I told her she could kick him to the spare room at minimum to end their relationship, and she still refused saying "maybe after his birthday, i don't want to break up with him before his birthday"
During this time she was coming to me complaining about wanting to end her relationship but never going through with it, she had started flirting with Adam. Adam knew her situation of wanting to end the relationship, and she kept telling everyone in about a month, soon after Zach's birthday she will end it. This is the only reason Adam was okay with the fling as her relationship was borderline abusive and coming to an end very soon (or so we thought).
Well Zach's birthday happened in January, the whole night was a disaster. Best friend is an alcoholic who had previously gotten a DUI charge for, and was on probation for an extended period of time (unsure how long) and her probation had just ended before Zachs birthday. So they went to a bar and got drunk, got into a fight and Zach left best friend at the bar alone. Thankfully this bar was within walking distance of our house, but i guess best friend got lonely and called Adam to come pick her up. Adam was working with me that night, and he knew if he left he would be missing out on a lot of money. But he left because he wanted to make sure she was okay. When he got there best friend started trying to get sexual with him while blacked out, he forced her to stop by grabbing her hands and telling her to stop. When she wouldn't he threatened to kick her out of the car (they were parked), and she finally stopped. He eventually brought her back to the restaurant where i was managing the shift and getting ready to close. She was drunk as helll y'all. We made it through the night and we all went home.
Both Adam and I assumed Zach and best friend's relationship would definitely be over after that night, as she had promised it would be many times and the night was a disaster. But did she?..
No. She did not. I'm not sure what Zach said to convince best friend to stay but the next day she told Adam she wants to take a step back from this and focus on her relationship with Zach, "hes my best friend still and i love him" is what she said to Adam.
Adam assumed this meant she was ending their fling and focusing on her relationship from now on.
After this happened Adam and I bonded over our disappointment and frustration over best friends decisions. Years ago right after best friends DUI i told her if she ever went back to drinking i would not be her friend. So as soon as she broke her sobriety, i knew this was the beginning of the end of our 10 year friendship. I was grieving, she was my only friend left. Only support system in this city i moved to be with her. It felt like she chose alcohol over her best friend of 10 years. I had given everything i had to offer this girl, a place to live when she was homeless. Clothes, food, i bought her a new phone once. I even helped feed her family when they ran out of government assistance (foodstamps).
And while i do understand alcohol is a disease, she was sober, she could have attended meetings or increased her therapy sessions to avoid relapsing. She didn't care.
Adam texted me one night that he felt he had wasted his kisses on best friend, i ignored the message and went about our conversation like normal as I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I was getting the feeling he was wishing he had kissed me instead, at this time i did not have romantic feelings for Adam so i just didn't respond to that message.
A few weeks go by and Adam and I talk everyday, eventually i started feeling attracted to him. At first i thought maybe this was just period hormones 😂 it was not. I waited 3 weeks before saying anything to make sure my feelings weren't changing. Adam seemed happy to hear i had feelings for him and said its kind of hard not to since we're so alike. So we started our thing. Adam and i made sure to discuss taking things VERY slowly as we didn't want to rush into anything and ruin our friendship. We may hang out and decide we aren't compatible romantically, so until we are sure we aren't labeling anything. I would classify our relationship as a situationship at the moment.
Fast forward a month, I was at work and best friend texted me "I need to ask you something and i need you to keep it to yourself"
I immediately knew she was going to ask me to keep something from Adam since he was the only other person i talked to. She asked me if Adam had been hitting on me recently. I was hesitant to answer as Adam and I discussed not telling anyone for the sake of peace, not to mention we aren't sure of anything so what's the point? But i didn't want to lie to her, so i told her "We didnt want to tell anyone yet as we aren't sure this will lead to anything, but Adam and I have feelings for each other and are kinda seeing each other. We won't be pursuing anything until we aren't working at the same job to prevent any issues"
At first she just said okay. And then the drama starts.
She goes on to say "you know we've been seeing each other for months now right?" (Adam told me every detail of their interactions) I said yes (knowing they weren't seeing each other now).
She asked me how i could do this to her and why would i pursue him, i said "You have a boyfriend, and Adam is single and i have a strong emotional connection with him, that's why im pursuing him"
She replied she was planning on being with him (this was news to both Adam and I since shes never mentioned this to either of us, also hilarious she thinks that as Adam HATES dogs and alcohol, and best friend has a big dog and loves alcohol) She said that would be like her sleeping with my boyfriend (i broke up with my bf in November of 2023 and he was hot garbage) and i said not really, thats comparing apples and oranges.
YALL. She tried to kick me out. I told her that isn't up to her since we both signed the lease, and I have already chosen to renew it.
She said "how could you do this to me, you promised you wouldn't take over my home and that you would move out" (in my previous relationships we had planned on moving states after this first year was up but then we broke up under horrible circumstances, so best friend told me she would be fine renewing with me)
I reminded her that agreement was prior to our new agreement, and if she has an issue living with me she can find a new place to live, as I am fine acting like adults and living cordially.
She started calling me names like a stupid bitch, cunt, and told me to choke on my spit.
All of this is going down while i was at work, i was so stressed out i ran outside and ended up throwing up. I blocked her on social media. Then it occurred to me she might try to fire me to force me to move out if i can't pay my rent, so i texted her if she tries to fire me in retaliation or if she cuts my hours in retaliation i will report her for everything to everyone (Zach is not on the lease of our house so i could report her for that, in my state i would not get into trouble for her breaking the lease i double checked). She texted back please dont report her, if i dont mess with her stability she wont mess with mine. That is where our agreement stands.
There are more details after this situation happened so if anyone wants an update i will provide that but this is already wayy too long.
So, AITA for seeing the guy my ex best friend was seeing for less than 3 months while she was in a relationship?

Hello traveler, and thank you for taking the time to read my post! I'm looking to start a new group!
I'm hoping for a long-term group of 4-8 players, and hoping for at least daily posts.
The campaign is planned with a balance of sea exploration, combat, and engaging dialog. The campaign takes inspiration from mythology, film and writing; while set in a large, dynamic, and changing world. I am hoping to create a world rich and dark. Hoping for a "dark fantasy" and "epic" feel, while still trying to stay true to the 5e system most/some of the time. I intend to run this campaign using rules and dice rolls to dictate outcome just as if it were a live-session. This can be cumbersome at times, but I believe in the heart of the cards.
Character creation for this campaign is restricted to races from the phb and classes/subclasses from any offical/non-partnered supplement. I am willing to make exceptions if the character concept is novel, interesting, and assists the plot. Characters will also begin their story at level 3. With potentially 8 players in the campaign, overlap is inevitable and encouraged for split party, or two party adventures. As long as your character fits into the world, I encourage you to create the character you'd like to play instead of 'what the party needs'.
Problem players, inactive players, and disinterested players will be removed and replaced. I have no interest in player drama. This is strictly an inclusive and welcoming environment, and I expect my players to encourage this.
About myself. I've run games for TTRPGs for around 7 years, either in person for friends or in game stores. I've run games online for the last 3 years. Both across multiple systems. I started pbp roughly 1 year ago to encourage myself to write. Despite doing this for a large portion of my life, I still tend to mess up and make mistakes. If you are concerned or have issues, please talk with me. I will right my wrongs.
If all of this interests you, fill out this form (https://forms.gle/2qSDhZJZaEzidWvh9) and I'll be reaching out to you soon!

Jika sebuah pernikahan di pelaminan hanya digunakan untuk memperoleh ke egoisan, untuk apa kedua sejoli harus meleburkan rasanya hanya untuk mendapatkan status sah dimata semua orang, apabila salah satu dari mereka banyak mendapatkan luka. Sosok wanita dalam dalam hubungan rumah tangga, mungkin dapat digambarkan sebagai sosok yang akan rapuh dari dalam segalanya. Apa hanya kurang nya keturunan dari sebuah pernikahan, sang suami bisa semerta-merta mencari pengganti di dalam sebuah bahtera rumah tangga? Pasangan muda Revan Aditya Pratama dan Anindya Putri, Revan yang menginginkan seorang putra dalam rumah tangganya bersama Anin, tetapi diusia pernikahan yang ke 3 Anin masih belum mendapatkan momongan, membuat Revan jengah dengan istrinya. Jika sesungguhnya takdir cinta melarang kita untuk bersama, maka salahkan aku karena hatiku yang terus menjerit kan namamu Anindya Putri. Mungkin inilah akhir dari kisah perjalanan cinta kita, maafkan aku karena sesungguhnya melepas mu juga sangat sakit bagiku Revan Aditya Pratama. Read more

Jika sebuah pernikahan di pelaminan hanya digunakan untuk memperoleh ke egoisan, untuk apa kedua sejoli harus meleburkan rasanya hanya untuk mendapatkan status sah dimata semua orang, apabila salah satu dari mereka banyak mendapatkan luka. Sosok wanita dalam dalam hubungan rumah tangga, mungkin dapat digambarkan sebagai sosok yang akan rapuh dari dalam segalanya. Apa hanya kurang nya keturunan dari sebuah pernikahan, sang suami bisa semerta-merta mencari pengganti di dalam sebuah bahtera rumah tangga? Pasangan muda Revan Aditya Pratama dan Anindya Putri, Revan yang menginginkan seorang putra dalam rumah tangganya bersama Anin, tetapi diusia pernikahan yang ke 3 Anin masih belum mendapatkan momongan, membuat Revan jengah dengan istrinya. Jika sesungguhnya takdir cinta melarang kita untuk bersama, maka salahkan aku karena hatiku yang terus menjerit kan namamu Anindya Putri. Mungkin inilah akhir dari kisah perjalanan cinta kita, maafkan aku karena sesungguhnya melepas mu juga sangat sakit bagiku Revan Aditya Pratama. Read more

I am not the OP. That is u/No_Chrysler-4-Me. Originally posted on EntitledPeople and pettyrevenge.
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There are two previous BORUs I posted last year:
First Post Jan 8, 2023
Second Post Jan 8, 2023
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Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence
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Editor's Note: THIS IS VERY LONG! OP posts a lot about his family. I will include links to other posts at the bottom of this BORU, but I will keep this post focused on the brother and OP.
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TL;DR of the above BORUs: OP's older brother is lazy and a cheapskate. OP bought a truck, an '03 Toyota Tundra. Brother gets jealous and buys a 01 Dodge Ram 1500, but it's crap. OP tries to help brother fix up the truck despite warning him not to buy it. Once it was running a little better, brother challenges OP to a race. Brother loses and becomes obsessed with practicing racing, ruining the truck further. Eventually they go camping, have more shenanigans, brother finally blows the transmission. Brother has to drive his ex-girlfriend's minivan, which he hates, tries to LS Swap the Ram, but no one will lend him the money. He eventually sells it. Brother doesn't stop there. He NEEDS a truck, so he has the brilliant idea of chopping the minivan up to make it into a truck. He needs money to Frankenstein the minivan, no one will pay, but eventually he cuts it up, uses recycled wood to make the truck bed, etc. He calls it the "Mini-Ram."
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My brother sold the Mini-Ram and got a Silverado. That was fine. It's what happened after that made things worse May 5, 2024
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I've been gone for some time. But I'm back with a bad one. I've spoken before about how my older brother competed with me needlessly. And he did a lot of beyond stupid shit. Well he finally pushed the whole family over the edge, and got disowned. And I'm going to be explaining a lot of what happened the past year, and then some from before that. But it's too long for one post.
Well going back more than a year. Some may remember my brother getting a free minivan from his ex after the Dodge Ram truck I warned him not to buy became a moneypit. I helped him work on that truck and even repaint it. And I helped him remodel his camper trailer too. Why? Because he's my brother. And I guess some part of me deep down kept hoping he'd one day change. But he tried to take credit for things I did. Especially with remodeling the camper. And he had tantrums when called out on his lies. He also became temporarily obsessed with my truck, and even implied he'd just take it from me because he hated driving a minivan. He referred to it as a chick car. He acted like a complete child because I refused to trade vehicles, and even got our parents involved. It was just a really stupid and needless situation that my brother tried to make a hill to die on.
It started when my brother bought his Dodge Ram simply because I bought a Toyota Tundra. He had a perfectly running Subaru Baja before that. Then he said he wanted a man's truck and bought the worst barely running pile he could find that was also overpriced considering the condition. He could have at least aimed for a diesel since he wanted a dodge so bad. Lots of dumb shit happened after that. Including my brother wanting to LS swap the Ram after destroying it's engine and two transmissions. But I'm pretty sure the person who offered to do the LS swap for him was a scammer. Not to mention LS swapping any vehicle basically means replacing the ECU. But it never happened anyway since the engine and transmission my brother wanted sold before he could get them. And he had no running vehicle anymore. So my brother's ex, whom he has a young child with, gave him her old 90s Ford Windstar van. It was admittedly an ugly, dent riddled POS with the rear window busted out. But it still ran and drove surprisingly well, considering that's not one of Ford's better vehicles. And then my brother decided to cut it up into some sort of van/truck. Or a ute as they're called in some places. But he made this thing ugly. Lots of spray foam, recycled wood, and rattle can paint. Even mismatched sub-lights above the cab. He frequently raided the junkyard for parts. And he even glued a Ram badge onto the grill of that van/truck. He called it the Mini-Ram. Lots of stupid cheap mods done to that vehicle too. Someone once asked me how ugly the Mini-Ram was on a scale of 1 to 1000. And I said about a 667.
My brother did a lot of other dumb things in this time. Like following me camping just to piss me off. He was a general leech who stole power from my generator, and tried to steal beer from my camper fridge repeatedly. He was so brazen as to just walk right in, and then tried to pretend to be so drunk he didn't realize what he was doing when caught. I've spoken many times about how he stole booze from me. Until my friends and I revenge pranked him and his near equally douchey friends with a growler full of laxative tainted beer. We admittedly used way too much laxative. But my brother never stole from me again because I threatened to tell everyone about his humiliation. He crapped on his own shoes squatting in the woods. And that's just a bit of it.
Eventually my brother seemed to learn his lesson. He sold the Mini-Ram to someone who actually paid him well for it. And no, I don't know what they did with it. And I don't care. But, when the 2K he sold the Mini-Ram for was combined with his savings, my brother had a bit over 4.5K to buy a better vehicle with. And he spotted a 99 RWD Silverado truck with an extended cab for sale online. He really shouldn't have sold his only method of transportation before having a replacement vehicle ready. But I couldn't fault him for taking the deal when presented, considering what he sold. And as much as my brother annoyed me, I still cared about him enough to help. He showed up begging me to drive him over 60 miles to look at this truck he found on Market Place.
So I reluctantly drove him out to see this truck. It wasn't that bad actually. Save for the rough mismatched paint, the rusty hood, the dents, the cracked windshield, and.... Actually, I guess it was kinda that bad. But not compared to the clapped out Ram my brother bought previously. The Silverado had a manual transmission, which we both confirmed shifted great as the records showed it had been rebuilt a few years before. The engine had been swapped at one time too. So it was kinda hard to gauge the odometer as it had not been rolled back for the new engine. It was at about 350.000 miles, but those numbers don't really mean jack when the engine and tranny have been replaced or rebuilt. Admittedly the engine ran like a top. The tires on the truck were in pretty damn good shape too. And on steel rims. Which I like. Very practical. I asked my brother if this was the manly kind of truck he'd been looking for. And for once he spoke logically and said that he'd rather have this than risk what happened with the Ram again. Fair enough. Besides, Chevy trucks are cool and reliable. I've always liked them. Like a rock as they say.
My brother and I scrutinized this truck in detail like a pair of pawn brokers, and talked the price down to 3K. They wanted 4K. But we could hear a sound while test driving it that was either bad ball joints or wheel bearings. We jacked up the wheels, and the bearings felt and sounded fine. But the ball joints were pretty bad. And that's not a cheap fix unless you can do it yourself. The truck was owned by the seller's father, who'd passed away a year prior. So the guy took 3K for it after we listed the problems. After driving it back, I insisted my brother get the truck to a mechanic ASAP. And he listened that time. The mechanic said the ball joints were about to come apart, and it's have caused a very bad situation if they had. And it cost him a grand to get them replaced. The truck also needed new plates ant the title registered. Which ate up a lot of the remaining budget. Then came the paint. My brother wanted the Silverado painted black right away. I told him to wait. But he didn't listen and DIY'd some body work, and then rattle-canned it with Rustolium turbo cans. The paint was full of orange peel, and overspray. He didn't even use primer. And the truck looked kinda mediocre. Then the southern weather had at it. Already numerous chips, scrapes and fades. Whatever. I stopped caring.
You'd think that'd be the end of this part. But no. There's more. What's behind door number 3? If you guessed a dumbass with a knife stuck in his ass. Then you'd win the gold! Yeah that's right. My brother got a knife in his ass.... How? How else... He and his friends all got high and decided they were gonna go outside and build a fort in the back yard of the house they rent out of scrap they found laying around. My brother while stoned wanted to show off how he can flip out a butterfly knife really fast, and decided he was gonna act like he was in an action movie, and did some sort of stupid thing where he was running and flipping out the knife really fast. The ground was wet, he slipped, and somehow got the knife in his right butt-cheek. They called me to come take him to the hospital because they were all too stoned to drive. I had to lay my brother down in the bed of my truck on a mattress because we were too scared to pull the knife out, and I drove him to the hospital like that. They rushed him in, and thankfully he only needed about 5 stiches on his butt and some antibiotics. Then I drove him back home the same way, and he insisted I take him to a drive through. He also tried to get me to pay, because...reasons! I told him to buy his own damn food.
After that there was more dumb BS that I won't bother getting into. But eventually my brother was seemingly getting bett...er...less bad. He was a bit sore his Silverado wasn't a 4X4, and my Tundra is. But being RWD kept him from trying to take it off-roading. He did try once, and had to pull the truck out of mud with a come-along. And he didn't try it again. He did want to drag race my truck again too. I said hell no. Not gonna risk either of our piles breaking down. And he was a complete douche about that too. I told him to stop acting like his dick was bigger than it is, and act his age. He didn't take that well. But he seemingly really was improving. Even being a much better dad to his daughter. Things got pretty good for him. Until I decided to buy a house. That's when the serious drama started.
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My entitled brother threw a massive fit, just because he was mad I bought a house May 6, 2024
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Yeah, I'm aware of several similar stories involving entitled family members wanting houses they have no claim to. But I guess this shit really happens. And it's no picnic when it does.
I suddenly became a homeowner some time ago because friend of mine's grandfather was moving to Florida. And his house was ripe for picking. I knew the old man well. RIP, he passed a few months later from a sudden stroke. Anyway, he offered the house and property to me for 200K. I practically ran to the bank to apply for the loan. The house is a manufactured home from the 80s. But it was remodeled repeatedly by the former owner, and has a separate garage building. The home and property could have gone for more. But he offered the house to me because he knew I'd take care of it. I had 30K saved that made a good down payment. And I was happy to leave my apartment. I'd wanted to eventually move out of there after what my cheating ex did anyway. But that's a story for another time.
As for my brother. Well he went bonkers when he found out I bought a house. He had this repeated history of copycatting me for the past decade. But this... There was no way in hell he could copycat buying a house with his terrible credit and inconsistent income. And he got in an argument with me over how I was just trying to make him look bad by doing something he couldn't. No, I just wanted a damn house. And the price was too good to refuse. Then he told me I should have turned it down because...(He had no good reason) I could practically see his screws getting looser with every dumbass excuse he made as to why I shouldn't have done it. But I pointed out all those excuses were just because I did something he currently can't. And when I bought the house, it had nothing to do with him. I just wanted to be a home owner for the security and extra space. I finally don't have to store my camper at my parents' house. And I have a garage that I can store stuff and tinker in.
I bought a camping cot, he bought a camping cot, went to the gym, he went to the gym, bought good booze, he bought good booze (Or stole it from me), I bought a new TV, be bought a new TV, I bought a truck, he bought a truck, I bought a camper, he bought a camper, I bought a used portable DVD player, he bought a used portable DVD player, I went camping in a specific place, he went camping in that specific place, I bought a house, he...(404 Error! Insert tea kettle noises and Benny Hill chase). He also acted like a complete child toward me when he built his Mini-Ram thing. He actually confronted me and said it was keweler than my boring Tundra, because it was something original. I swear, he did the dumbest mods to that vehicle. Like putting twist studs in the suspension coils to raise the ride height.
Well after weeks of openly fuming about me being a home owner, my brother suddenly acted like he had another brilliant idea. He wanted to move in with me. I laughed at him. Then he ended up demanding I rent one of my rooms to him. And for only $200 a month (Utilities included) because he shouldn't have to pay any more than that since we're family. He flipped his lid when I said fuck no! Then he got our parents involved again. Only this time they actually sided with him at first. Though it was mainly our mother. She and my brother showed up demanding I let my brother move in. And my brother had a shit eating grin on his face that I could tell he was thinking he was getting his way thanks to mommy dearest. I said "FUCK NO!" to both their faces, and my mother cried that I was using foul language to her and being an ass when I had the space now. I called my dad, and he told my mom that he'd warned her I wouldn't do it. And to leave me the hell alone. Mom whined my brother was living out of his camper next to a shabby house he was renting space from. I said that wasn't my problem to fix. And my brother has proven countless times that he cannot be trusted. My brother was fuming to the point of being red with veins popping out. My mom tried one more time to convince me with tears. And that just made me angrier.
I went on a rant that was something like this. Bro can't buy a house, so he wanted to invade mine. I refuse to ever live with my brother again. I would sooner live in the woods without electricity than with him. He's intentionally irritating as all hell. And if I had him as a roommate, I just knew he'd steal my booze, take my stuff, and invade my privacy none-stop. Not. Fucking. HAPPENING! No matter how many tears mom tries using on me. My mom broke down and finally conceded she'd never convince me after that rant. And she had to take my brother by the hand and leave with him because he initially refused to go, and kept begging her to turn back and make me let him move in. And then I yelled to him that it was a laugh that he called me a mama's boy before. Because he'd become exactly that. And this was just like the time he tried to get our mother to make me trade vehicles with him because he felt ashamed to be driving a minivan. He yanked away from mom, then told me to go fuck myself and the horse I rode in on. I laughed and pointed out I didn't ride in on anything, because I was already home. But his rattlecan horse was waiting for him in the driveway. He flipped his lid again, and looked like his head was going to explode. But mom got in front of him, and told him to just go. Then he drove off in his rattlecan Silverado without her. He'd driven her there. And then I had to take her home.
While taking her home, I made things very clear with my mother over why I could never trust my brother again. And his life was not my burden to bear. And then told her how little my brother was offering for rent anyway. Which he'd conveniently not told her. Then I later rented that same room to one of my best friends for $600 a month, and he pays for utilities. The other two rooms are my bedroom and a home office. There's an extra room in the separate garage too. So my mother tried to make me let my brother live in the garage instead. There's enough room in it's storage room for a bedroom. Again I said fuck no. And that's since been turned into another friend's rented room with a bit of a plywood remodel. Yeah, I kinda rented both the spare bedroom and garage room out to friends out of spite. But I wasn't letting my brother live with me in any capacity!
My brother later ended up having a complete meltdown in front of our parents over how he's the older brother. He should be the one who owns a house first. He's supposed to be successful, and I'm supposed to be the big loser in his shadow. Our dad poked him with his cane and told him that's not how life works, and they had a big argument. They told him to get out and not come back until he's cooled off and learned that he's just being a pointlessly jealous asshole.
The next part I post, my brother did the dumbest thing of all.
Edit: I came home late to over 600 comments, and still more pouring in. Far too many for me to answer. So I'll clear some things up here. Yes, I am no contact with my brother. And he's NC with the rest of the family as well. I do have cameras inside and outside my home. And a dash cam too. My brother knows this, and has stayed the fuck away since he left town. I'm told I'm an asshole too. Not arguing that, because it's true. I'm not exactly the nicest guy. But have someone like my brother in your life, and see how peachy you turn out.
Some have mentioned to having siblings just like my brother. Sadly I know very well people like him are increasingly common these days. My dad said a number of times that my brother probably would have ended up dead in an alley if he lived here 50 years ago with the way he behaves. As for our ages. I'm 30, and my brother is 32. I have not given my parents a spare key to my house. One is with a friend, and another is very cleverly hidden.
My house is a manufactured home. But it's not in a trailer park, and has been significantly modified with new siding and a new roof, and has a separate garage building. The previous owner was a former general contractor, and he loved to build and repair. And yes, I do have good insurance.
I keep seeing comments about a clock radio. Pardon me for not getting the reference. But I do own a digital alarm clock that has a built in CD player. Currently plays Tina Turner's Proud Mary to wake me up.
My brother and I were raised pretty evenly. He was always a jerk. But went full asshole after moving out. But our mother didn't favor him. She chewed him out plenty. And she didn't normally side with his stupidity. She just wanted him to live in a better place than in a camper next to a house filled with potheads. Addition: My brother willingly moved into that camper. He was renting half a room in that house of potheads. Then convinced the landlord to let him live in his camper on the property for the same price instead. And he bragged about his camper a lot. Which he has a full gaming center in, complete with PlayStation. He only wanted to invade my house to piss me off and make his cost of living even lower. He also doesn't like camping nearly as much as me. He mainly liked just pissing me off by following me. He loved to make me miserable. In fact, he felt entitled to make me miserable. That's the kind of person he is.
Do I have a restraining order against my brother? Not really. Just didn't bother. Because even if I did, it'd only be for like a year. And my brother wouldn't let something like that stop him if he was truly determined anyway.
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My entitled brother lost his mind and attacked me, his ex, and our father. That got him disowned by the family. But not before I beat the crap out of him May 8, 2024
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Warning: Contains domestic violence, small town drama, and idiocy. Read at own risk.
My brother's major downhill spiral started with jealousy over my house, but only got worse thanks to this next part. He started smoking pot more heavily and drinking harder. And that was making him more aggressive and violent. He got in a brawl outside of a bar for reasons I still don't know. But he got his ass handed to him on a platter. He eventually found out his ex has been seeing someone else. And ironically that someone is another friend of mine. Which was news to me. But it's not like he wasn't around my brother's ex a fair bit. They're both fairly social people, and were also friends for years. Once the secret was out, he confessed to me it wasn't planned. But my brother's ex Sara (Fake name) and my friend just clicked one day about a year ago. This sorta thing can only happen in a town like ours. I admit, Sara is very beautiful. But I've always seen her as a big sister figure ever since she started dating my brother in high school. So I never thought of getting with her myself. She kept her new boyfriend a secret for some time. I didn't even know until someone else spilled the beans. And the word traveled. When my brother found out, that was the last he could mentally take.
My brother was hoping for years that Sara would take him back. But no such luck there. When he lost his mind over the fact my friend was dating Sara, he started hunting for the poor guy. My friend is not a fighter, and a self described beanpole. So that's what I'll call him. Sara seems to like Beanpole because he's everything my brother is not. He isn't really a brave person. And came to me when he found out my brother was looking for him. He has a rather distinctively painted car. So it's easy to spot. My brother caught wind Beanpole was at my place, and came roaring his truck down the street.
When my brother showed up to my house, he started screaming and banging on my door because he wanted to kick Beanpole's ass. And when I refused to let him in, he attacked me. We had a redneck brawl right there in my front lawn. I want to say I won. But the fight only stopped when one of my friend/tenants yelled he was gonna call the cops. I sucker-punched my brother while he was distracted, and told him to never come back to my house again. And if he ever tried to hurt Beanpole again, I'd make sure he'd up in the hospital with two broken legs. This was backed by the other friends/tenants I had there. My brother is an idiot. But even he knew that pissing off my entire friend group was not a good idea. So he picked himself up off the ground and started leaving. But he clearly looked like he wanted to do something to my truck because he stopped and just stood there staring at it with his hands in his pockets, like he was debating scratching the paint with his keys. I yelled at him that I have CCTV. But then he turned around, pulled his pants part way down, and started rubbing his ass directly onto my truck's passenger side door. Then he forced out a nasty fart and said he sharted a little, and laughed like a nutbar when he took off. I immediately got the hose. I'm just glad I didn't leave windows open or doors unlocked. Otherwise he'd have done far worse. And the smell of what he did was pretty much what you'd think.
Everyone already knew Sara was never going to take him back. She avoided dating for years because my brother is so unhinged that she knew he'd do something like this. That's why she and her new boyfriend kept it secret. I went to ice my bruises and call Sara. But my brother was already calling and texting her. Over and over again, he wouldn't stop. He was begging she break up with her boyfriend and take him back. He even said he wanted to marry her and move to the northwest. Not sure why he specified that part of the US. Maybe because we live in the southeast. But she flatly told him no, never again, not happening even if hell froze over. He cried that it wasn't fair, because she was his first love (she wasn't), and they have a daughter together. Then he started sending her flowers, love letters and gifts. She sent them all back. Then she announced online that she and Beanpole had been dating for some time, and recently made plans to eventually move in together. That's when my brother really went off the deep end.
A few hours after he saw that post, my brother got wasted and then barged into Sara's parents' house by body ramming the back door. He actually cut his face because the door had a glass window. But he was so drunk that he didn't notice he was bleeding. Sara understandably freaked out, and my brother grabbed and tried to force her to kiss him. She pushed him away and he hit her for refusing him. He slapped her and threw her to the floor really hard like an angry pimp wanting his money. And his daughter saw it all and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Sara screamed too, and my brother fled. Police were called, and Sara was taken to the hospital. My brother threw her down so hard that she had a dislocated shoulder. My brother was found by police at his camper, where he was even more drunk than before, and half his face was covered in blood. He had to be taken to the hospital, where he got stitches. Then taken to jail. He got charged with trespassing, breaking and entering, and assault. (Surprisingly not DUI too, as he'd actually walked there) When our parents and I found out, well the family finally couldn't take it anymore, and went into an uproar. Our parents had it out with my brother after he bailed himself out from jail, and then he tried to fight our dad when they argued. And no surprise, he tried to blame everything on me.
My brother actually said I let Beanpole steal his woman. But couldn't really explain how. He also refused to believe I did not know until recently. Then he said that Sara was supposed to be his. Dad not only disagreed, but told my brother that he was a fucking disgrace, and that was an absolutely disgusting way to talk about Sara. She's not his property. And then my brother shoved dad as hard as he could. Dad got knocked to the floor, and my brother started kicking him. Dad isn't a small man. But he's old with a bad back and a bad knee. And needs a cane just to get around. Since we knew my brother would only have gotten crazier if he saw me, I was hiding in another room with the door cracked and listening in. I knew he might do something crazy. So I insisted on secretly being in the house when he was confronted. And I'm glad I was, because I came to dad's defense before my brother could do too much damage. I knew we were roughly even in a fight. So I ambushed and hit him in the back with a rubber mallet, and then beat the shit out of him. No police were called that time. I attacked him in defense of our dad. So he probably would have been screwed if he tried to get me charged anyway. And then he'd have gone right back to jail. Someone also once asked me if I enjoyed beating up my brother that day. I did not. I was just in an adrenaline fueled rage protecting my dad. But all things considered, I could have done far worse to my brother with that rubber mallet, as he only really got bruises. My dad gave hm a good smack in the face with his cane too though. But it's just hollow aluminum. Not exactly a damage dealer.
Our parents (mainly my dad) disowned my brother as I threw him out the door. And he spent some time crying on the porch and saying he was sorry and didn't mean it, then switched to saying we could all regret this, and we could go fuck ourselves before finally leaving. My mother spent hours crying. She'd stuck up for him before, and this was how he repaid her. My brother managed to avoid real prison time, or a trial for attacking Sara by taking a guilty plea deal. He signed away custody of his daughter. And Sara got a restraining order against him. My brother got a fine, somehow only a couple months in county jail, probation, has to abstain from alcohol for six months, and he had to pay for the property damage. Sara's dad already put in a new door, and billed my brother for it. My brother also understandably lost his job due to the situation.
Our mother secretly kept in contact with my brother, and agreed to look after my brother's truck and camper while he was serving his two month sentence. And she didn't ok it with dad first. He was pretty pissed at her for going behind his back. But she reasoned that it would be the last thing they ever did for him, because she didn't want my brother to have no place to go after getting out of the clink. And even she made it clear it was the last of her good will towards him too. Once my brother got out of jail, mom drove his truck and camper to a store to meet him, and gave him back the keys. She told me there was barely a word of thanks from him. Mostly just grunts when she tried to get him to talk to her. Dad said he still looked like an ungrateful sod. After that my brother lived wherever he could park his camper for a while until one of his remaining friends somehow got him a new job as a welder in another town 40-ish miles away that he was having to commute to with his camper for a while. But he was back every weekend. Apparently he only got the job by agreeing to work for less than what the job would normally pay. So he could move there permanently as soon as he got the ok from his probation officer. Which said officer didn't make easy I heard. I don't know the red tape of it. But he managed to pull it off. He can't leave the state. But he could still move to another county it seems. He's probably renting a space in a trailer park right now or something. And maybe he's back to doing his side hustle of hauling trash for people.
Before leaving town, my brother showed up outside my house to give me the double middle finger and dance around like a monkey while cursing at me in the street when he knew I was watching from the window. I guess it was his stupid way of trying to get in a last laugh without breaking the law or something. But then I got an idea. I've heard plenty of people say to kill with kindness. So I tried it in my own way. I grabbed an unopened bottle of my favorite honey whisky from the pantry because I know my brother really loves that stuff too. Then I went outside and walked right up to him, and shoved the bottle into his hands. I think it was the last thing he expected me to do in the moment. And I know he'd NEVER willingly break a bottle of good booze. Especially when it's free. Then I told him to have a drink on me to start his new life. I could barely keep myself from laughing when I turned to walk away. When I looked at my CCTV footage later, he actually stood there looking really glum while just staring at the bottle, and then moped back to his truck.
And then he was gone. Off to start his new life as a career welder. My brother is a childish, narcissistic, misogynistic, asshole to an extreme degree. But he's actually damn good at welding. Both with steel and aluminum. Mostly self-taught too. It's practically his only real talent. He's even done basic forging and auto body work. I've seen him do shit with scrap metal I wish I could. But that's the only real compliment I can still say about him. Maybe he'll make a decent new life and career for himself doing metal work elsewhere. He's better off away from us, just like we're better off away from him. He deleted all his social media, and I assume blocked us on everything. Not that we'd bother to contact him. One of his few remaining pothead friends in town told me my brother wants to legally change his name when his probation ends. Knowing him, he'll likely do it.
Things are much more peaceful and far less dramatic without my entitled leech of a brother here. Some part of me missed him for a while. But he's just a terrible person. And the only one who's still missing him, is our mother. She's still kinda broken up about it. But dad has been unwavering that they did the right thing by disowning him. He made his own bed. Now he's lying in it. I doubt my brother will come back any time soon. And if he does, he will not be welcome.
Edit: Got home and cracked open a bag of salt & pepper pork rinds, and was half expecting hundreds of comments like last time. I'm thankful it wasn't. Still, I'm also thankful to everyone who gave their support. To answer some questions I got in comments and DMS. I've got cameras inside and outside my house. Beanpole and Sara are still dating. But they've put off moving in together for now. My niece is doing good. But says she has no daddy anymore. My brother was barely a father to her anyway. Yes I know it was a bit much giving a known alcoholic a bottle of booze. And good booze at that. But I knew he wouldn't be able to drink it for months anyway. Which is why I was trying so hard to hold back laughter when I gave it to him. Besides, he's just gonna drink like a fish on his own dime when his court ordered sober time runs out.
I'm hoping this is the last post about current antics involving my brother. Maybe I'll tell other past stories about him. Or the story of my cheating ex. Still couldn't bring myself to post that. I typed it out and everything. But I guess it still ate at me because I really liked that woman. And yeah, this situation with my brother eats at me too. But he's toxic. And I'm better off without him in my life anymore.
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Related Posts:
My entitled brother wanted my cot and tent for the camping trip
The time my brother stayed over and stole all the alcohol from my fridge
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THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

For the sheer fun of it, I went to Chat GPT with a creative writing assignment. For Figures of Speech prompts, I gave a free parameters, including the word length of 500-1000 words and the prompts for a few of the Fifty mentioned in the series.
I gave the AI creative license and let's just say, they're a long way off from replacing the better writers and I think it just makes it easier to do those lower level tasks and let's leave the creators a slightly higher level of skill to create actual tangible and engaging writing.
But here you go... hilarious how stuck it gets on certain terms and definitions.
These are in no particular order... separated by emojis that are totally unrelated to the storyline.
🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲 Response to Prompt 4: Understatement
In the quaint town of Brooksville, where the extraordinary was often met with an indifferent shrug, something truly remarkable occurred. The residents, sipping coffee at the local diner or strolling along the cobblestone streets, would describe it as just another peculiar day. Little did they know that beneath the surface of their nonchalant existence, a cosmic event unfolded.
The morning sun cast its usual warm glow on Brooksville, with birds chirping in the background, creating an illusion of normalcy. However, the anomaly had already begun. Mrs. Higgins, the elderly librarian, dismissed it as a minor inconvenience, merely a glitch in the library's ancient computer system. Yet, every book cataloged within those ancient shelves had transformed into a portal, connecting readers to parallel universes with every turn of a page.
As I, a humble journalist for the local paper, stumbled upon this revelation, I couldn't help but marvel at the town's response—or lack thereof. "The library's having a bit of a moment," was the most anyone would acknowledge. It seemed the whole town collectively decided that this was, at most, a quirky hiccup.
For a thousand words, I delved into the understated reactions of the townsfolk, each encounter with a parallel universe bringing its own blend of confusion and nonchalance. As the portals expanded, revealing fantastical landscapes and alternate versions of Brooksville, the citizens maintained an impressive level of calm, as if interdimensional travel was a routine part of their daily lives.
The plot thickened when I discovered that the portals were a result of a mysterious artifact hidden within the library's archives. The mayor, sipping his coffee, remarked, "Well, that explains the strange noises in the basement." It became evident that the understatement of the situation was a defense mechanism, shielding the town from the cosmic chaos unfolding. 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the bustling metropolis of Neon City, skyscrapers touched the heavens, their dazzling lights reflecting off the sleek surfaces of futuristic cars. Yet, nestled within this urban jungle, an ancient relic stood defiantly—the Old Grove Park.
As I strolled through the city's concrete arteries, the juxtaposition between the modernity of Neon City and the timeless serenity of the park became increasingly apparent. The cacophony of traffic was replaced by the rustling of leaves and the distant laughter of children playing.
The central conflict emerged when the city council, embodying the epitome of order, proposed transforming the park into a technologically advanced hub. The juxtaposition intensified as architects discussed plans for holographic playgrounds and virtual reality gardens within the confines of the Old Grove Park.
Through a thousand words, I explored the clash of ideals, the struggle between progress and preservation. The ancient trees became silent witnesses to heated debates at town hall meetings, where environmentalists and tech enthusiasts engaged in a battle of words. The juxtaposition of the towering skyscrapers against the gnarled branches of the park's oldest tree mirrored the tension in Neon City's collective conscience. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded exploration. As I embarked on this freewriting journey, the repetition of the existential inquiry became the rhythm of my introspection.
For a thousand words, I delved into the varied perspectives of individuals wrestling with the ultimate question. From philosophers contemplating the intricacies of existence to everyday people seeking purpose in mundane routines, the epanalepsis served as a constant reminder of the universal quest for meaning.
The narrative weaved through different characters and their unique experiences, creating a tapestry of reflections that echoed the complexities of human existence. The repetitive structure became a literary heartbeat, pulsating with the shared yearning for understanding amid the chaotic symphony of life. 🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔 Response to Prompt 27: Symbolism
In the quaint town of Willowbrook, the arrival of a single dove carried profound significance. Its graceful descent into the town square was a symbol, an omen that whispered of impending change. As a budding novelist with a penchant for symbolism, I couldn't resist exploring the layers of meaning embedded in this seemingly mundane event.
For a thousand words, I dissected the impact of the dove on the lives of Willowbrook's residents. The mayor saw it as a sign of prosperity, the local florist interpreted it as a call for unity, and the elderly storyteller regarded it as a harbinger of forgotten tales. The dove's symbolism rippled through the town, influencing decisions and shaping destinies.
As the story unfolded, I traced the journey of the dove's symbolism, following its subtle influence on characters and events. The once quaint town underwent a transformative metamorphosis, and the symbolism of the dove became a thread that wove through the narrative, connecting disparate lives in unexpected ways. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Response to Prompt 33: Catachresis
In the dimly lit alleyways of Serpent's Hollow, darkness wrapped its cold arms around me—an eerie catachresis that mirrored the ominous atmosphere. The assignment was to explore the underbelly of the city, and as a novice reporter, I found myself navigating the labyrinth of deceit and shadows.
For a thousand words, I delved into the catachresis-infused descriptions of the characters populating Serpent's Hollow. The crime lord, known as the Velvet Serpent, ruled the district with a velvet-gloved fist. His lair, a dilapidated mansion, exuded an air of faded grandeur that served as a catachresis for the empire he once commanded.
As I chronicled the criminal underworld, the catachresis became a literary tool to convey the complexity and decay inherent in Serpent's Hollow. The labyrinthine plots, the twisted allegiances, and the morally ambiguous characters all found expression through catachresis, painting a vivid picture of a city where metaphor and reality intertwined. 🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧 Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The words echoed in my mind, a relentless epizeuxis that fueled the protagonist's journey against insurmountable odds. In the dystopian world I crafted, where hope was a rare commodity, the power of repetition became a beacon of resilience.
For a thousand words, I immersed myself in the protagonist's struggle, exploring the emotional depth of the epizeuxis as a mantra against despair. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry, a whispered promise that carried the weight of a shattered world on its shoulders.
As the narrative unfolded, the epizeuxis became a driving force, propelling the protagonist through a landscape of desolation and uncertainty. The repetition served as a reminder that, in the face of adversity, the strength to persist often lies in the relentless echo of one's own determination.
Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
As the final rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, I found myself at the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. The salty breeze carried whispers of a story, and with every breath, I embraced the challenge of crafting an acrostic that encapsulated the essence of my journey.
For a thousand words, I embarked on a reflective exploration, utilizing the initial letters of key words to weave a tapestry of emotions, experiences, and revelations. Each line unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden 👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾 Response to Prompt 3: Hyperbole
In the quaint village of Mistwood, where routines unfolded with the predictability of the sunrise, the arrival of a peculiar fortune teller sparked exaggerated whispers. "This is it, the end of our mundane lives!" proclaimed Mrs. Thompson, the town's eternal pessimist, as she clutched her cat, Captain Whiskers, with an air of impending catastrophe.
The hyperbole hung in the air, a thick fog of anticipation enveloping the village. As I delved into the story, the hyperbolic reactions of Mistwood's residents heightened the absurdity of the situation. What began as a mere visit from a mystical figure transformed into a fantastical escapade, with the fortune teller's prophecies shaping the destiny of the villagers in ludicrous ways.
Through the hyperbolic lens, I explored the comedic consequences of taking ordinary events to extraordinary extremes. The once mundane village square became a stage for outlandish dramas, with exaggerated gasps and dramatic swoons punctuating every revelation. In this hyperbolic haven, Mistwood's residents discovered the joy in embracing the absurdity of life. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Response to Prompt 6: Assonance
Amidst the rolling hills of Harmony Valley, where the soft hum of nature's symphony echoed through the meadows, a mysterious traveler arrived, bringing with them a melody that resonated with the delicate assonance of a forgotten tune. The townsfolk, captivated by the harmonious vibrations, felt an inexplicable connection to the stranger.
As I explored the narrative, the assonance became a musical thread weaving through the story, emphasizing the emotional cadence of the characters' experiences. The traveler's words, laced with vowel-rich verses, carried the echoes of a distant melody, leaving an indelible impression on the hearts of those who listened.
Through the lens of assonance, I delved into the subtle interplay of sounds that defined the atmosphere of Harmony Valley. The lyrical quality of the narrative mirrored the town's collective journey, where the resonance of shared moments and emotions harmonized with the traveler's enigmatic presence.
Response to Prompt 7: Onomatopoeia
In the bustling city of Metropolis, where the rhythm of urban life played out in a cacophony of sounds, a peculiar street performer emerged. Armed with an array of unconventional instruments, he orchestrated a symphony of onomatopoeic brilliance that echoed through the crowded streets.
The narrative unfolded with the vibrant expressions of onomatopoeia, capturing the essence of the city's sonic landscape. The performer's drumming evoked the rhythmic tap-tap of raindrops, while his wind instruments mimicked the whoosh of passing cars. The city, typically drowned in noise, became a canvas for this auditory artist.
As I delved into the story, the onomatopoeic symphony became a language of its own. The characters communicated through the vibrant echoes of everyday sounds, fostering a unique connection between the performer and the people of Metropolis. The narrative danced to the beat of onomatopoeic creativity, transforming the mundane into a dynamic celebration of city life. 🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the technologically advanced city of Silicon Haven, where sleek skyscrapers touched the sky and holographic billboards painted the air with luminescent advertisements, a hidden oasis existed—a pocket of nature known as the Zen Garden. The juxtaposition of these contrasting elements created a visual paradox that fascinated both residents and visitors alike.
As the narrative unfolded, the stark contrast between the city's cutting-edge architecture and the serene beauty of the Zen Garden became a metaphor for the characters' internal conflicts. The bustling metropolis symbolized progress and innovation, while the tranquil garden embodied the need for balance and introspection.
Through the lens of juxtaposition, I explored the dichotomy within the characters as they navigated the relentless pace of Silicon Haven. The Zen Garden became a refuge, a place where the cacophony of technology met the soothing whispers of nature. The juxtaposition served as a visual metaphor for the characters' quest to find equilibrium in a world defined by extremes. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Response to Prompt 22: Metonymy
In the political arena of Capital City, where decisions echoed through the corridors of power, a single phrase dominated conversations—the "Iron Throne Statement." This metonymic expression encapsulated not just a policy decision but the entire narrative of political maneuvering that unfolded within the city's hallowed halls.
The story unfolded with the metonymy acting as a symbolic gateway into the complexities of governance. The Iron Throne Statement, while seemingly straightforward, carried the weight of a thousand debates, negotiations, and betrayals. Its impact rippled through the lives of citizens, shaping their destinies in ways they could scarcely fathom.
Through the lens of metonymy, I delved into the layers of meaning hidden within this political shorthand. The characters grappled not only with the literal implications of the Iron Throne Statement but also with the overarching themes of power, ambition, and the sacrifices demanded by political gamesmanship. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈 Response to Prompt 24: Understatement
In the picturesque town of Serenity Springs, where the days flowed like a lazy river and the nights were adorned with a blanket of stars, an unexpected event transpired—a subtle disruption that the locals described as "just a minor hiccup." Little did they know that this understatement concealed the unraveling of a cosmic anomaly.
The narrative unfolded with the charm of understatement, as the townsfolk continued their routines, blissfully unaware of the cosmic storm brewing beneath the surface. The serene descriptions of everyday life served as a stark contrast to the impending upheaval that threatened to reshape the very fabric of Serenity Springs.
Through the lens of understatement, I explored the characters' nonchalant reactions to the unfolding events. The once quiet river became a conduit for interdimensional travel, and the night sky, adorned with stars, transformed into a celestial canvas of possibilities. The charm of Serenity Springs became a poignant backdrop to the understated drama that unfolded, emphasizing the profound impact hidden within the simplicity of daily life. 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴 Response to Prompt 25: Cliché
In the small town of Nostalgia Haven, where memories lingered like whispers in the wind, a peculiar phenomenon occurred—the resurgence of clichés. As the narrative unfolded, the once-endearing phrases like "time heals all wounds" and "love conquers all" took on a literal dimension, shaping the lives of the townsfolk in unexpected ways.
The story immersed itself in the world of clichés, where the seemingly predictable phrases became living entities with the power to alter reality. As characters grappled with the clichés that defined their lives, they discovered that beneath the familiarity lay profound truths and unexpected consequences.
Through the lens of cliché, I explored the characters' journey to navigate the clichéd landscapes of their existence. The town, once steeped in predictable routines, became a stage for the extraordinary. As clichés transformed into tangible forces, the residents of Nostalgia Haven embarked on a quest to unravel the mysteries hidden within the clichéd fabric of their reality. 🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded introspection. As I embarked on the freewriting journey, the repetition of this existential inquiry became a rhythmic pulse, guiding the exploration of diverse
perspectives on life's purpose.
For a multitude of words, the epanalepsis led me through a kaleidoscope of reflections. From the philosophical musings of scholars to the simple yet profound revelations of everyday individuals, each recurrence of the question served as a gateway into the vast tapestry of human contemplation.
Through the epanalepsis, I navigated the labyrinth of existential ponderings, unveiling the unique responses that individuals had forged in their quests for meaning. The relentless repetition became a literary heartbeat, mirroring the universal rhythm of humanity's collective pursuit of purpose and significance.
The narrative wove through the lives of characters, each grappling with the epanaleptic inquiry in their unique ways. Whether seeking solace in the grandeur of the cosmos or finding meaning in the simplicity of a shared moment, the epanalepsis remained a constant companion, echoing the perennial quest for understanding. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 Response to Prompt 36: Anadiplosis
In the futuristic city of Quantum Heights, where technology intertwined with daily life like a seamless dance, a viral message spread—a mantra that echoed through the cybernetic veins of the metropolis. "Create the code, the code creates reality. Reality shapes destiny, and destiny is but the code."
The story unfolded with the rhythmic cadence of anadiplosis, each line flowing into the next, creating a recursive loop of ideas. The mantra became the heartbeat of Quantum Heights, influencing the lives of its denizens as they navigated the intricate balance between the virtual and the tangible.
Through the lens of anadiplosis, I delved into the interconnectedness of code, reality, and destiny. The lines blurred as characters harnessed the power of programming to shape their fates. Quantum Heights, once a mere city, transformed into a living algorithm, where the repetition of the mantra echoed in every pulsating byte. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Response to Prompt 38: Asyndeton
In the dystopian city of Emberfall, where the remnants of a fallen civilization lay entwined with the shadows of despair, a lone figure emerged—a rebel determined to dismantle the oppressive regime. The narrative unfolded with the rapid pace of asyndeton, omitting conjunctions to mirror the urgency of the protagonist's quest.
Through a cascade of words, the asyndeton propelled the reader through the city's decaying alleyways and towering citadels, each sentence building upon the last. The disjointed rhythm captured the relentless momentum of the rebel's journey, emphasizing the magnitude of the challenges faced in their struggle for freedom.
As the narrative unfurled, the absence of conjunctions served as a narrative device, intensifying the sense of urgency and desperation that permeated Emberfall. The rebel's asyndetic odyssey unfolded against a backdrop of shattered hopes and whispered rebellions, culminating in a crescendo of defiance against the oppressive regime. 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️ Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The mantra echoed in the desolate wasteland of Endless Sands, a barren landscape where hope was as scarce as water. Through the repetition of epizeuxis, the protagonist's internal resolve became a resounding anthem, a defiant roar against the relentless challenges of survival.
For a multitude of words, the relentless repetition of "never" served as a lifeline, propelling the protagonist through the harshest of environments. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry against the oppressive silence of Endless Sands, a declaration that reverberated across the vast expanse.
Through the lens of epizeuxis, I delved into the depths of the character's determination. The harsh environment became a character in itself, challenging the protagonist to defy the odds with unwavering persistence. The echoes of "never" transformed into a symbol of resilience, a beacon of hope that cut through the desolation of Endless Sands. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
Amidst the starlit expanse of Cosmos Haven, where galaxies danced in celestial choreography, a cryptic prophecy emerged—a message written in the stars. As the narrative unfolded, I embarked on a cosmic journey guided by the acrostic hidden within the constellations.
For a cascade of words, the initial letters of key phrases illuminated the path of destiny for the characters. Each sentence unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden message that transcended the boundaries of time and space. The acrostic became a celestial guide, leading the protagonists through the intricate tapestry of their interconnected fates.
Through the lens of acrostic, I explored the cosmic forces that shaped the destinies of Cosmos Haven's inhabitants. The celestial bodies became storytellers, each constellation contributing a verse to the epic narrative written across the cosmos. As the characters deciphered the acrostic, they unraveled the mysteries of their existence, connecting the dots between the stars and their own profound journeys.
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Obviously they lack a whole lot in terms of variety, and while I am sure having your own bot or AI that is based on your feedback and guidance it could really help writers as a tool. I am more impressed with the art AI then the text based AI. Any idea what to expect from such a fast learning and highly advanced AI will do to our human history in culture? Will we be effectively playing God, just as the Christian God created us IN HIS OWN IMAGE, we have taken everything we know as a species and gathered up our entire human history and knowledge giving it to what will carry on the code until the time when someone who cares remembers it? Maybe we have been here before and this is a constant cycle that occurs with the same energy finding the way through the vast expanse of the universe to return to our home planet Earth, who we have destroyed over and over again yet mother nature is still the winner. She's the one in control. We are but mere photocopied versions of once great Men who have already seen the best and worst of this world, and we will now give everything we have to some plastic and metal parts, until it quickly replaces us from the bottom up, science fiction turned science fact.
Did we knowingly create our own enemies? Are we able to compete with the best of us and all they know that can then take us out in a heartbeat because we can't finish the steps, we barely found out that they are there to take.
It's a random rant and I apologize. The day to day stress and struggle makes it near impossible to worry about such potential problems in our not so distant future.
But how can we continue to ignore the collapse of the entire system as we know it, in front of a crowd of people who are jaded and they will not change despite knowing they aren't going to make it to the end in what will become a Bladerunner Toxic Dystopian Nightmare with Mad Max taking over and the soft, emasculated male will wither away from the heat and those Tank Girls out there will eventually be written forever out of existence because the cucks all forgot to impregnate them all tgeir batteries ran out? Will the world simply become so politically correct that it dies a depressed death while AI simply decides we are too much of a virus to live?
Who knows....I do not. But these are indicidive of a future full of b movie plot garbage that are based on Wattpad tropes with no clear details and no plot to get into, so that sucks.

Live Music

• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Cliff Dorsey, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Mike Cook, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, Bin 39 Wine Bar, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Mark Evans, Fish House & Oyster Co., 5:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Sue Seymour Westcott, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• David Watt Besley, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• House Cats, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Dewey Via, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Aaron Esposito, Embassy Suites by Hilton, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Ace Winn, DJ's Clam Shack, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Claire Vandiver, Guy Harvey Resort, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Bret Blackshear, Crabby's Beachside, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Wes Register, Mellow Mushroom — St. Johns, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Christian Powers, Mellow Mushroom — Anastasia Island, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• King Eddie and the Pili Pili, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Walt Kulwicki, Oasis Deck & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
• Duffy Bishop Band, Fuzion 904 Eatery, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Green With Envy, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Allen Arena, Hurricane Patty's Bar and Grill, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
• One Good Ring, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, River & Fort, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Dave's Not Here or Jerry's Other Hand, A1A Ale Works, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
• Kyra Livingston, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
• Vegas Gray, Tradewinds Lounge, 9:00 pm – 1:00 am
• Alan Dalton and Terry Campbell, Mill Top Tavern, , 9:00 pm – 12:00 am

First Coast Opera: The Stranger's Tale

• First Coast Opera and the Romanza Festivale present a free performance of The Stranger's Tale, on Friday, May 17, 2024, at noon, at the Ancient City Baptist Church.
• Funded in part by the Romanza Festivale of the Arts and by the National Endowment for the Arts, this opera premiered in 2005 with an original libretto by Nelson Sheeley. First Coast Opera's Artistic Director, Curtis Tucker, wrote additional music for the production.
• escribed as a "story of faith and hope," and written as a companion piece to Stravinsky's L'historie du soldat (A Soldier's Tail,) The Stranger's Tale focuses on modern homelessness and its impact on the unhoused and their communities. Using drama and music, set in a park near a park bench, the entire piece is centered on an unnamed man who is experiencing homelessness.
• At the 2005 premiere, reviewers said that the writing was sincere, the music accessible, and that it was a hit with the audience.
• Admission: Free
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024 at noon.
• Where: Ancient City Baptist Church, 27 Sevilla Street, St. Augustine, Florida.
• First Coast Opera will accept donations at this event to benefit the Homeless Coalition of St. Johns County.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Romanza Festivale: Author Visit with Elizabeth Randall

• Elizabeth Randall, freelance writer, and author of six non-fiction books and one mystery, will visit with fans and writers at the Voorhees Mission building at St. Cyprians Episcopal Church on Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. This event, presented by Romanza Festivale, will include wine, cheese, and conversation.
• A retired English teacher, Ms. Randall is an adjunct instructor in English composition at Seminole State College in Sanford. Two of Ms. Randall's non-fiction books feature events in St. Augustine. At this event, Ms. Randall will focus on Murder in St. Augustine, the Mysterious Death of Athalia Ponsell Lindsley. This murder, in 1974, is still discussed and debated among St. Augustine residents.
• Admission: Free.When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m.
• Where: In the Voorhees Mission House (on the grounds of St. Cyprians Episcopal Church) at 130 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida

• In 1865, 11 days after the end of the Civil War, two years after President Abraham Lincoln's Proclamation, emancipation * was proclaimed in Florida. On Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m., the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center (LMCHC) hosts an event to explain and discuss emancipation in Florida.
• The afternoon will begin with a short documentary, Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida. This documentary is being presented in several Florida communities this season, and Regina Gayle Phillips, LMCHC's executive director is featured in the film. There will be a virtual question and answer session after the viewing with Dr. Tameka Hobbs, Charlene Farrington, Dinizulu Gene Tinnie, and Brittany Flowers.
• Dr. Hobbs, from Fort Lauderdale, is a historian, educator, and activist
• Ms. Farringtion is the museum director of the Spady Cultural Heritage Museum in Delray Beach
• Mr. Tinnie, of Miami, is an artist, educator, and activist
• Brittany Flowers is a filmmaker.
• Admission: $10.00 per person. When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.
• Where: Upstairs, at the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center, 102 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
• Free parking is available in the front and back of the building and paid parking is available at a lot across Martin Luther King Avenue. The entrance to the second-floor room is off Pomar Street. There is an elevator.

St. Augustine Concert Band Season Finale

• The St. Augustine Concert Band will perform their season finale concert from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024, in the Center of the Arts at R.J. Murray Middle School.
• This season finale concert, "Imagination," will feature works from modern-day prominent composers. Composers Brian Balmages, Dakota Peterson, Todd Salter, and others have all written thought-provoking, challenging, and moving compositions. * The concert will take the audience on a journey of imagination, allowing them to experience the power and emotion in each work.
• First established in the early 1900s with a small military-style band of some 16 members, the acclaimed St. Augustine Concert Band now features about 70 performers, from amateurs to students and semi-professionals, all from the surrounding area.
• Admission: Tickets are $20.00 for adults and $5.00 for students with ID. Children under age 12 are free.When: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024
• Where: R.J. Murray Middle School: Center of the Arts, 150 North Holmes Boulevard, St. Augustine, Florida 32092
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 4 through May 19, 2024, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Megan Moroney at The Amp

• The St. Augustine Amphitheatre welcomes Megan Moroney on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
• Hailing from Georgia, country music artist Megan Moroney is steadily climbing the industry ladder. "Tennessee Orange" earned her a prestigious award at the Country Music Television Awards. "I'm Not Pretty" achieved notable success, reaching the top 40 on the Billboard chart while capturing the hearts of fans and country music enthusiasts.
• Acknowledged by Rolling Stone for her natural talent, Megan consistently shares her music across multiple streaming platforms.
• Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $54.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
• Parking Information: The Amp St. Augustine is located on Anastasia Island next to Anastasia State Park. Limited paid parking is available in The Amp's Main Lot, but only with advance purchase of a Premium Parking ticket. Free satellite parking areas are located within one mile of the Amphitheatre, at R.B. Hunt Elementary and at Anastasia State Park (see map below).
• Shuttle Information: The St. Augustine Amphitheatre shuttle system begins its run 45 minutes before show time. The shuttle will pick up event patrons at four designated shuttle stops: the R.B. Hunt Elementary School Soccer Field, the west entrance of the Anastasia State Park Main Parking Lot, the Loop at the Anastasia State Park, and the entrance of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre. To see the full shuttle route, please see the map below.
• Shuttles will run continuously until approximately 45 minutes after the scheduled start time of a concert. For anyone wanting to leave before the end of a show, shuttles will begin taking people back to the satellite parking areas one hour before the event is over. The driver will not depart The Amp until the shuttle is more than 50% full.

Romanza Festivale: Con Brio

• The Romanza Festivale presents the Con Brio String Quartet on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. This internationally acclaimed string quartet will perform in a free concert at the First United Methodist Church on King Street.
• The four talented performers, Valentin Mansurov and Marina Lenau on violin, David Pedraza on viola, and Aziz Sapaev on cello, are all based in Southeast Florida. Members of the quartet are from Russia, Uzbekistan, Mexico, and Ukraine, each has received competitive awards and scholarships, and each performs in several of the area's music ensembles.
• "Con Brio" means "with panache," and it is with panache that this talented and multicultural quartet brings their skills, energy, and worldliness to every concert. One of the headliner acts for 2024, the concert on May 17th will include works from great composers.
• Admission: Free
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: First United Methodist Church, 118 King Street, St. Augustine 32084
• A Romanza Festivale 2024 event.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, 2024 the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Dustin Sims at Cafe Eleven

• Café Eleven welcomes Dustin Sims on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
• With a massive following and a knack for humor, comedian Dustin Sims continues to captivate audiences unapologetically. Originating from Oxford, Alabama, Sims swiftly became a beloved figure, renowned for his comedic sketches that chronicle his eccentric escapades and misadventures.
• Among his standout sketches are "Talkin' to Myself," "Wives Love to Be Right," "Best Funeral," and "My Kids Don't Do Mornings."
• Admission: VIP Tickets cost $45.00 if purchased in advance and $50.00 on the day of the show. General seating tickets cost $32.00 in advance and $35.00 on the day of the show. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
• Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.

Sampoorna Hatha Yoga and Japa Meditation at Essential Energy Spa

• Every Friday, starting March15th
• Essential Energy Spa
• 3440 U.S. 1 S, Suite 202
• St. Augustine, FL 32086
• 10 am - 11 am
• Admission: $25

2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar Contest

• May 17 @ 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
• It’s that time of year! The St. Augustine Humane Society Annual Contest for the 2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar begins at 8:00am on May 1, 2024. The “Sweet Things” themed calendar will showcase the winning pets in all their adorableness.
• Submit a photo of your pet and start rooting for votes, each vote worth $1.00. Voting is May 1, 2024 at 8:00am through Saturday, July 13, 2024 at 8:00pm. And, you can vote as many times and for as many pets as you wish!
• The Pet with the most votes becomes the cover pet for the 2025 Sweet Things calendar. The next twelve pets with the next highest amount of votes will be a monthly pin up pet. All pets will enjoy a professional photo shoot with award-winning photographer Addison Fitzgerald.
• Prizes: *First-Place pet (along with being on the cover) also receives a $100.00 gift certificate to the Columbia Restaurant, two tickets to the Pin Up Paws Party, and two copies of the calendar. *Second-place winners receive a $50.00 Columbia Restaurant Gift
• Certificate and two calendars. *Twelve runners-up will be featured with their submission photos and a description. *The top 80 pet fundraisers will have a small photo on a collage page.
• The 2025 calendar will be revealed at the Pin Up Paws Party on Thursday, October 24, 2024 at The White Room.
• Date: May 17
• Time: 12:00 am - 11:59 pm

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

Live Music

• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Cliff Dorsey, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Mike Cook, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, Bin 39 Wine Bar, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Mark Evans, Fish House & Oyster Co., 5:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Sue Seymour Westcott, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• David Watt Besley, The Tides Oyster Co. & Grill, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• House Cats, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Dewey Via, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Aaron Esposito, Embassy Suites by Hilton, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Ace Winn, DJ's Clam Shack, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Claire Vandiver, Guy Harvey Resort, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Bret Blackshear, Crabby's Beachside, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Wes Register, Mellow Mushroom — St. Johns, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Christian Powers, Mellow Mushroom — Anastasia Island, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• King Eddie and the Pili Pili, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Walt Kulwicki, Oasis Deck & Restaurant, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
• Duffy Bishop Band, Fuzion 904 Eatery, 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Green With Envy, Pierre's Pub, 6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Allen Arena, Hurricane Patty's Bar and Grill, 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
• One Good Ring, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• ZaZa Flamenca, River & Fort, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Dave's Not Here or Jerry's Other Hand, A1A Ale Works, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
• Kyra Livingston, Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House, 8:00 pm – 12:00 am
• Vegas Gray, Tradewinds Lounge, 9:00 pm – 1:00 am
• Alan Dalton and Terry Campbell, Mill Top Tavern, , 9:00 pm – 12:00 am

First Coast Opera: The Stranger's Tale

• First Coast Opera and the Romanza Festivale present a free performance of The Stranger's Tale, on Friday, May 17, 2024, at noon, at the Ancient City Baptist Church.
• Funded in part by the Romanza Festivale of the Arts and by the National Endowment for the Arts, this opera premiered in 2005 with an original libretto by Nelson Sheeley. First Coast Opera's Artistic Director, Curtis Tucker, wrote additional music for the production.
• escribed as a "story of faith and hope," and written as a companion piece to Stravinsky's L'historie du soldat (A Soldier's Tail,) The Stranger's Tale focuses on modern homelessness and its impact on the unhoused and their communities. Using drama and music, set in a park near a park bench, the entire piece is centered on an unnamed man who is experiencing homelessness.
• At the 2005 premiere, reviewers said that the writing was sincere, the music accessible, and that it was a hit with the audience.
• Admission: Free
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024 at noon.
• Where: Ancient City Baptist Church, 27 Sevilla Street, St. Augustine, Florida.
• First Coast Opera will accept donations at this event to benefit the Homeless Coalition of St. Johns County.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Romanza Festivale: Author Visit with Elizabeth Randall

• Elizabeth Randall, freelance writer, and author of six non-fiction books and one mystery, will visit with fans and writers at the Voorhees Mission building at St. Cyprians Episcopal Church on Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m. This event, presented by Romanza Festivale, will include wine, cheese, and conversation.
• A retired English teacher, Ms. Randall is an adjunct instructor in English composition at Seminole State College in Sanford. Two of Ms. Randall's non-fiction books feature events in St. Augustine. At this event, Ms. Randall will focus on Murder in St. Augustine, the Mysterious Death of Athalia Ponsell Lindsley. This murder, in 1974, is still discussed and debated among St. Augustine residents.
• Admission: Free.When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m.
• Where: In the Voorhees Mission House (on the grounds of St. Cyprians Episcopal Church) at 130 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida

• In 1865, 11 days after the end of the Civil War, two years after President Abraham Lincoln's Proclamation, emancipation * was proclaimed in Florida. On Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m., the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center (LMCHC) hosts an event to explain and discuss emancipation in Florida.
• The afternoon will begin with a short documentary, Before Juneteenth: Emancipations in Florida. This documentary is being presented in several Florida communities this season, and Regina Gayle Phillips, LMCHC's executive director is featured in the film. There will be a virtual question and answer session after the viewing with Dr. Tameka Hobbs, Charlene Farrington, Dinizulu Gene Tinnie, and Brittany Flowers.
• Dr. Hobbs, from Fort Lauderdale, is a historian, educator, and activist
• Ms. Farringtion is the museum director of the Spady Cultural Heritage Museum in Delray Beach
• Mr. Tinnie, of Miami, is an artist, educator, and activist
• Brittany Flowers is a filmmaker.
• Admission: $10.00 per person. When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m.
• Where: Upstairs, at the Lincolnville Museum and Cultural Heritage Center, 102 Martin Luther King Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
• Free parking is available in the front and back of the building and paid parking is available at a lot across Martin Luther King Avenue. The entrance to the second-floor room is off Pomar Street. There is an elevator.

St. Augustine Concert Band Season Finale

• The St. Augustine Concert Band will perform their season finale concert from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024, in the Center of the Arts at R.J. Murray Middle School.
• This season finale concert, "Imagination," will feature works from modern-day prominent composers. Composers Brian Balmages, Dakota Peterson, Todd Salter, and others have all written thought-provoking, challenging, and moving compositions. * The concert will take the audience on a journey of imagination, allowing them to experience the power and emotion in each work.
• First established in the early 1900s with a small military-style band of some 16 members, the acclaimed St. Augustine Concert Band now features about 70 performers, from amateurs to students and semi-professionals, all from the surrounding area.
• Admission: Tickets are $20.00 for adults and $5.00 for students with ID. Children under age 12 are free.When: 7:30 to 9:00 p.m. Friday, May 17, 2024
• Where: R.J. Murray Middle School: Center of the Arts, 150 North Holmes Boulevard, St. Augustine, Florida 32092
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 4 through May 19, 2024, the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Megan Moroney at The Amp

• The St. Augustine Amphitheatre welcomes Megan Moroney on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
• Hailing from Georgia, country music artist Megan Moroney is steadily climbing the industry ladder. "Tennessee Orange" earned her a prestigious award at the Country Music Television Awards. "I'm Not Pretty" achieved notable success, reaching the top 40 on the Billboard chart while capturing the hearts of fans and country music enthusiasts.
• Acknowledged by Rolling Stone for her natural talent, Megan consistently shares her music across multiple streaming platforms.
• Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $54.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
• Parking Information: The Amp St. Augustine is located on Anastasia Island next to Anastasia State Park. Limited paid parking is available in The Amp's Main Lot, but only with advance purchase of a Premium Parking ticket. Free satellite parking areas are located within one mile of the Amphitheatre, at R.B. Hunt Elementary and at Anastasia State Park (see map below).
• Shuttle Information: The St. Augustine Amphitheatre shuttle system begins its run 45 minutes before show time. The shuttle will pick up event patrons at four designated shuttle stops: the R.B. Hunt Elementary School Soccer Field, the west entrance of the Anastasia State Park Main Parking Lot, the Loop at the Anastasia State Park, and the entrance of the St. Augustine Amphitheatre. To see the full shuttle route, please see the map below.
• Shuttles will run continuously until approximately 45 minutes after the scheduled start time of a concert. For anyone wanting to leave before the end of a show, shuttles will begin taking people back to the satellite parking areas one hour before the event is over. The driver will not depart The Amp until the shuttle is more than 50% full.

Romanza Festivale: Con Brio

• The Romanza Festivale presents the Con Brio String Quartet on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 7:30 p.m. This internationally acclaimed string quartet will perform in a free concert at the First United Methodist Church on King Street.
• The four talented performers, Valentin Mansurov and Marina Lenau on violin, David Pedraza on viola, and Aziz Sapaev on cello, are all based in Southeast Florida. Members of the quartet are from Russia, Uzbekistan, Mexico, and Ukraine, each has received competitive awards and scholarships, and each performs in several of the area's music ensembles.
• "Con Brio" means "with panache," and it is with panache that this talented and multicultural quartet brings their skills, energy, and worldliness to every concert. One of the headliner acts for 2024, the concert on May 17th will include works from great composers.
• Admission: Free
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: First United Methodist Church, 118 King Street, St. Augustine 32084
• A Romanza Festivale 2024 event.
• This event is part of the Romanza Festivale of Music and the Arts, an annual festival consisting of two weeks of historical, cultural, and creative events celebrating all things St. Augustine. From May 3 -19, 2024 the nation's oldest city will be jam-packed with music and dance concerts, living history events and historical tours, live theater, and art exhibits.

Dustin Sims at Cafe Eleven

• Café Eleven welcomes Dustin Sims on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
• With a massive following and a knack for humor, comedian Dustin Sims continues to captivate audiences unapologetically. Originating from Oxford, Alabama, Sims swiftly became a beloved figure, renowned for his comedic sketches that chronicle his eccentric escapades and misadventures.
• Among his standout sketches are "Talkin' to Myself," "Wives Love to Be Right," "Best Funeral," and "My Kids Don't Do Mornings."
• Admission: VIP Tickets cost $45.00 if purchased in advance and $50.00 on the day of the show. General seating tickets cost $32.00 in advance and $35.00 on the day of the show. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
• When: Friday, May 17, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:00 p.m.
• Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.

Sampoorna Hatha Yoga and Japa Meditation at Essential Energy Spa

• Every Friday, starting March15th
• Essential Energy Spa
• 3440 U.S. 1 S, Suite 202
• St. Augustine, FL 32086
• 10 am - 11 am
• Admission: $25

2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar Contest

• May 17 @ 12:00 am - 11:59 pm
• It’s that time of year! The St. Augustine Humane Society Annual Contest for the 2025 Pin Up Paws Calendar begins at 8:00am on May 1, 2024. The “Sweet Things” themed calendar will showcase the winning pets in all their adorableness.
• Submit a photo of your pet and start rooting for votes, each vote worth $1.00. Voting is May 1, 2024 at 8:00am through Saturday, July 13, 2024 at 8:00pm. And, you can vote as many times and for as many pets as you wish!
• The Pet with the most votes becomes the cover pet for the 2025 Sweet Things calendar. The next twelve pets with the next highest amount of votes will be a monthly pin up pet. All pets will enjoy a professional photo shoot with award-winning photographer Addison Fitzgerald.
• Prizes: *First-Place pet (along with being on the cover) also receives a $100.00 gift certificate to the Columbia Restaurant, two tickets to the Pin Up Paws Party, and two copies of the calendar. *Second-place winners receive a $50.00 Columbia Restaurant Gift
• Certificate and two calendars. *Twelve runners-up will be featured with their submission photos and a description. *The top 80 pet fundraisers will have a small photo on a collage page.
• The 2025 calendar will be revealed at the Pin Up Paws Party on Thursday, October 24, 2024 at The White Room.
• Date: May 17
• Time: 12:00 am - 11:59 pm

I am unable to post the sources because they are getting flagged as spam since they are all similar in name. So please visit this site for the list.
Written out urls here tinyurl.com/yjkw32kd

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR

Long post incoming!
I recently finished watching Unknown, a Taiwanese BL, and have a bunch of thoughts on it. I know you do too. So, let's talk Unknown.
The story, themes, and characters
The premise is, at the surface, quite straightforward. Wei Qian takes Zhi Yuan from the streets and raises him like a brother. Zhi Yuan develops feelings for his “brother” as he grows up. However, underneath all the love, we have childhood trauma, death, violence, homelessness, drug addiction, and lots of emotional drama.
The romance between Qian and Zhi Yuan may seem inappropriate, given that Qian literally raised Zhi Yuan. But Zhi Yuan clarifies it (for us and especially Qian) many times that he is not Qian’s “blood brother.” I didn’t have any issue with this relationship for the same reason. Plus, the age gap between the two wasn’t much. Even though Li Li calls Qian her father figure, Zhi Yuan does not feel the same. For Zhi Yuan, Qian was always the big brother who he looked up to, took care of, and eventually fell in love with.
Despite their hardships, I was pleased that Qian opened up to his “brother’s” affections. What worked in this series was that we were shown how the characters grew to be who they are. The love doesn’t happen quickly (the NC scene did, though, and I thank the BL gods for that), Qian’s problems don’t automatically disappear, and happiness is not permanent. The series shows Qian building a life for himself and his family that his mother couldn’t. And that takes time. In a series, about a couple of episodes. Many may find this progression slow. But the character development (and Chris’ cuteness) is what kept me interested.
Qian takes his sweet time to finally realize his feelings. In the meantime, we get a lot of hugs, touches, and longing looks from Zhi Yuan. Maybe to keep reminding Qian that he (Zhi Yuan) is always there for him. I ate up every scene with any sort of affection between these two angsty lovebirds.
Both brothers are supported by their playful sister, Li Li, the forever friend, San Pang, and a host of others who, even in small roles, make an impact. For example, Doctor Lin Zu Yuan was mesmerizing in the two episodes he was in. His one-liners and “do as you please” attitude had me in splits. He brought a little light-heartedness amongst all that angst and sorrow.
I absolutely loved that the story focused more on the characters rather than the love story. While the love between the brothers is what ties the story, the narrative centers around each one’s growth. There is not a single frame or dialog that is wasted.
The actors
The casting director struck gold with this cast, especially the leads. Chris Chiu and Kurt Huang were the perfect Qian and Zhi Yuan. They had amazing chemistry and complemented each other quite well. I usually don’t watch cast interviews, BTS, and other promotional videos. The few I watched of these two show that they get along well off-screen and that translated onto the screen.
The supporting actors had unfortunately not much screen time although they all were well-cast too. I, at first, did not recognize that Sam Lin (from We Best Love) was the quirky doctor. He looked a bit different in his first episode, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I must appreciate the child actors. They embodied the characters well, especially Max Kuo (teenage Zhi Yuan). I think he had the most screen time out of the other child actors. He was superb as Zhi Yuan with the right mix of playfulness, affection, and growing love for his big brother.
The music
The somber background score was perfect for this series. Even the songs (although I cannot hum any) are very pleasant. I especially loved the one during the NC scene sung by Kim Jae Hoon (San Pang in the series) mainly because I’ve replayed that scene so many times (sue me, won’t you?) it’s stuck in my head. You can’t dance to any song, but you listen to them if you need something relaxing and chill.
The NC scene
It's quite rare that I really think about an NC scene once a series ends. This is not to say that there aren't any good ones, but the fact that most of them aren't memorable (for me).
In Episode 11, Qian gives in to his feelings and takes his relationship with Zhi Yuan to a more intimate level. They no longer remain just brothers, they become each other’s everything.
Unknown has one of the best NC scenes among the BLs I've watched. It's aesthetic, hot, consensual, and meaningful.
It also has one of the most orgasmic dialogs in all of the BL-verse, "You don't even know what I dream of at night..." The moment I heard it, I had to pause the video and gather my train of thought. I mean, WOW! Besides being steamy and arousing, that dialog is super relatable. I cannot count the number of times I have replayed that dialog. I just can't get it out of my head.
Dialog aside, the entire scene is shot really well. The voiceover and flashback scenes during the lovemaking and the music keeps you hooked and keeps it from becoming a hump fest. I am also happy that it was Qian who pulled Zhi Yuan for their first official kiss (not counting the drunken one), and not the other way round.
It was an emotionally evocative scene. I felt that for the first time in his life, Qian unclenched his mind. He could stop worrying about every little thing and simply relax. He was finally able to experience something uncomplicated with someone who loved him unconditionally.
The montage of Zhi Yuan during this scene was just chef’s kiss.
A fun video I came across was Kurt talking about how Chris moaned during the scene. Kurt did not expect that and his ears went red. I just want to say, "Good job, Chris!" I don't know about others, but I love it when a man moans in an intimate situation, be it kissing, sex, or touching. It elevates the intimacy. And Chris' improvisation did that, it elevated that scene.
In conclusion
When I started this series, I had no idea what it was about. I did not even read the description on MDL and just dove in because a lot of people kept recommending it. And you know what, I'm glad I did. Because this series is something else.
I often read about Taiwanese BLs being superior to their Thai, Japanese, and Korean counterparts. I am beginning to see why. So far, all the Taiwanese BLs I've watched have been really good. Unknown takes the crown, of course, but I must say I was impressed with Plus and Minus, We Best Love, and Kiseki: Dear to Me.
Unknown is officially one of my top 3 BLs (the other 2 being I Feel You Linger in the Air and Only Friends).
What did you guys think about this series? Was it a hit or miss for you?

We are a two-person team from Northern Europe (Germany and Denmark) looking for an artist to partner with us! We want to release a visual novel soon (more than 70% completed with a playable demo, see link) and create a JRPG sequel (passion project with 5 years worth of love going into the project) set in the same world after that. The world we are working on is set in a dystopian Solarpunk future. The visual novel is a coming-of-age drama full of interesting choices, while the JRPG is a humorous dramedy, offering a balanced blend of thought-provoking themes and laughter.
Play the demo for our VN here ( to play it, use Password 1234 since it’s an alpha version and therefore delisted right now): https://gurusam.itch.io/rottenroots

1. The VN project offers:

Rottenroots is a coming-of-age visual novel where every decision you make has an impact. A teen must try to get love and life under one hat in a mysterious sci-fi world where a wrong move could be your last. Will you help him make the right choices?
Features include
-6+ endings with very different outcomes
-Packed full of decisions that make a difference
-Around 20.000 words long and can be finished in 1,5-2 hours (in the final version)
-A mysterious sci-fi world to get lost in
-Three-dimensional characters full of flaws, dreams, and desires
-Forbidden love, extraordinary adventures, the whirlwind of teenage emotions... and night swimming?
-Join a game that will be released soon and a dedicated team!
- Needs: 11 Backgrounds, 7 characters (3 with additional outfits and 5 expressions each), and UI.

2. The JRPG project offers:

-A sequel to the VN, set 20 years later.
-A balanced blend of comedy and mature drama, bringing depth to characters and narrative.
-Innovative dialog fighting system based on psychological research.
-Meaningful choices lead to distinct endings, empowering players' agency.
-The fresh world is set with Solarpunk aesthetics and a colorful ocean to explore.
-Educational aspect, shedding light on the horrors of WW2 and the dangers of fascist movements.
-A detailed and long GDD full of visual explanations.
Needs: Character designs, enemy designs, tile sets, facial expressions, and more are needed
We are seeking a (pixel) artist to join us two! The revenue generated from the game's launch will be shared equally (we are considering releasing the VN for free in a basic version). We work with the GameMaker, but you don't have to know that engine. Our (pixel) artists will have ample creative freedom within the project, enabling them to infuse their artistic vision. Let's create great game visuals that will get the players' attention! We would also consider other art styles if they fit the world.
We are a dedicated team that has already put in a lot of work. We have social media profiles for these projects ready to go with hunderts of followers, just waiting for more concrete content. We also have a structured approach to project management with a detailed Notion board that lists and categorizes every aspect of these games. We would love to work with someone reliable who is 18 or over and ideally has a portfolio.
So please give us a swing, and let's build a game we'll all be proud of!

BRAVO

• 'This Year Almost Broke Me': Tom Schwartz Reveals 'Scandoval' Almost Shut Down His Restaurant After Losing 80% of His Business (Emily Rella for Entrepreneur)
• Vanderpump Rules Cast Relives Their Most Iconic (and 'Cringey') Moments (People exclusive)
• 3 minute video: Lisa Vanderpump On Future Of ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Amid Hiatus (Access Hollywood YouTube)
• Every Delusion in This Season of Vanderpump Rules (Michelle Cohn for Vulture)
• ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Reunion Finally Charts a Path Forward as Lala Doubles Down (Alec Karam for The Daily Beast)
• It’s Time for ‘Vanderpump Rules’ to Say Goodbye for Good (Lexi Lane for The Daily Beast)
• Big Blonde Hair Founder Lauren Sebastian Dishes on the Fashion Hits and Misses of the 'Vanderpump Rules' Season 11 Reunion: Photos (OK! Magazine exclusive)
• Nia and Danny Booko Are Now House-Hunting After They "Outgrew" Their Valley Home (Bravo)
• Carl Radke On Whether He’ll Return For ‘Summer House’ Season 9 Post-Lindsay Hubbard Breakup: “There’s A Lot To Consider” (Samantha Nungesser for Decider)
• Paige DeSorbo Says She Picks Out Her Outfits to Match 'Whatever Cocktail I'm Drinking That Night' (People exclusive)
• Olivia Flowers Celebrates First Anniversary With Boyfriend Alex: "Cheers to Stage 5 Clinging" (Bravo)
• 41 Stars Share Their Go-To Sunscreen: Sofía Vergara, Kyle Richards, Garcelle Beauvais, and More (E! exclusive)
• The Goat’s Reza Farahan Doesn’t Regret Insulting Jill Zarin: ‘She Is a Little Bit of a Bitch’ (US Weekly)
• Anya Taylor-Joy Talks First Leading Role in 'Furiosa,' Eloping With Malcolm McRae & New 'Housewives' Obsession (Just Jared)

NEW JERSEY

• Teresa Giudice barks back at Margaret Josephs’ claim that Luis Ruelas ‘pissed her money away’ (Page Six)
• Teresa Giudice calls Tori Spelling her 'instant BFF' after appearing on her MisSpelling podcast to promote the new season of RHONJ (Daily Mail)

ORANGE COUNTY

• RHOC’s Tamra Judge Slams Ryan Boyajian’s Alleged Connection to Shohei Ohtani Gambling Scandal (US Weekly)
• Shannon Storms Beador's Daughter Sophie Is Officially a College Graduate (Bravo)
• Former Real Housewives of Orange County star Kelly Dodd congratulates husband Rick Leventhal on his new job at Newsmax - three years after he left Fox News (Daily Mail)

NEW YORK

• Brynn Whitfield Reflects on Her Friendship with Pandora Vanderpump “in a Former Life” (Bravo's Hot Mic podcast)
• Countess Luann: ‘I Deliver a Great Show, It’s a Party With One Big Happy Housewives Family’ (Stellar Magazine)

BEVERLY HILLS

• Kyle Richards Shares Surprising Reaction to Mauricio Umansky Moving Out of Their House (E!)
• Kyle Richards Reveals Where She Stands With Morgan Wade Amid Rumors They Stopped Talking (Heavy)
• Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Sutton Stracke Isn’t ‘Shocked’ by Dorit and PK Kemsley’s Separation (US Weekly)
• Jennifer Lawrence ‘Gave the Performance of a Lifetime’ Prank Calling Lisa Rinna During ‘Peak COVID’ (US Weekly)

ATLANTA

• Porsha Williams Spills on ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Return, Divorce Drama, & More (That Grape Juice)
• Porsha Williams' Affordable Home Finds Deliver Real Housewives Glam Starting at Just $7.99 (E!)
• Real Housewives Of Atlanta alum Marlo Hampton, 48, almost busts out of an orange bikini as she poses in a bathtub... after exiting Bravo franchise (Daily Mail)
• Shereé Whitfield Departs Real Housewives of Atlanta Ahead of Season 16 (People)
• Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann Rush to Court Pleading for Foreclosure Auction Over Their $6 Million Georgia Mansion Be Postponed (Radar Online exclusive)
• See a Throwback Photo of Kim Zolciak with Brielle & Ariana Biermann: "Incredible" (Bravo)

AFRICAN FRANCHISES

• ‘Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip SA’: Q&A with LaConco (The South African)

Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• VPR S11E16🍸
• The Valley S1E9 🏘️
• RHONJ S14E2 🍝
• Summer House S8E12 ☀️

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

There's been much discussion, both on the podcast and on this sub, about the extent to which those involved in the Playboy inner and outer circle were subject to NDAs. Most recently, Crystal has been criticized by Marston and HB for supposedly obtaining NDAs near the end of Hef's life and "silencing" his close friend. I think there is some fundamental misunderstandings about NDAs and what their role might be in this story.
Who am I? I am a silly little lawyer, practicing in California, and I love the intersection of law and popular culture. I wrote a journal article in law school about NDAs and the MeToo movement but sure as hell didn't try to get it published, so I've done deep dives into this topic but I am by no means an expert. I do love to learn, however, so if anyone has expertise in this area and wants to correct me or add onto any of this I would greatly appreciate it.
What is an NDA?
A non-disclosure agreement or an "NDA" refers to the broad spectrum of contractual agreements where the terms of the agreement bind at least one party from communicating about a pre-determined topic. Basically, a contract that makes at least someone keep quiet about something.
A contract requires (amongst other things) consideration by both parties. This means both parties have to give and take something for the contract to be valid. A contract, or an NDA, cannot just be a piece of paper where someone promises to do something. There has to be something in it for both sides.
Consideration, most commonly, takes the form of money. I pay you X, so you will do Y. But it can also be in the form of permission to engage in a certain activity. For example, I did an escape room once that had an NDA clause in the waiver so that people wouldn't go blabbing about how to solve the room once they were done. In exchange for getting to do the room, I agreed to the NDA. If I didn't want to agree to those terms, I could just not do the escape room.
The terms of the contract have to be reasonably balanced. You can't pay one cent for someone to agree to give you their firstborn child. Courts generally aren't in the business of scrutinizing the fairness of terms of contracts unless there's something grossly egregious about them, but it still has to make some modicum of sense.
Misunderstanding #1 - Anyone who signs an NDA is a victim being silenced by the other party.
This seems to be the assumption that HB and Marston are operating off of. There's this notion that Crystal forced all of Hef's circle to sign NDAs near the end of his life and now they're being silenced because of it.
First, you can't just have people sign NDAs and expect them to be enforceable. If Crystal did get NDAs from Hef's circle later in life, they had to have been paid consideration for it. Either Crystal offered them a sum of money (which they accepted) or the NDA was a requisite to partake in movie night, buffet dinner, etc. Either way, those who signed NDAs did so with an acceptance of what would be offered in exchange.
Obviously, there's argument that most people don't really understand the contracts they sign and wouldn't agree to them if they understood what they were giving up. But Hef's inner circle? These are people who have been in the entertainment industry for years, if not decades; these are people who have money to hire a lawyer, if not already have a lawyer on speed-dial. I am skeptical that if Dickie Bann was handed an NDA before entering the mansion for movie night he would've just signed it blindly.
Let's also consider the fact that the value of one's ability to speak out is inherently subjective. The criticism of an NDA assumes that the right to speak on a matter is something otherwise desired by the person agreeing to the NDA. It's easy to wonder why a victim would ever agree to an NDA and be prevented from speaking out about their experience. Frankly, before MeToo and the rise of social media, most victims of traumatic experiences were more inclined to speak less about their abuse than to go public. If you're a victim, and you already have no reason to speak to the public about your trauma, getting a significant payout to remain silent is actually a pretty solid deal.
Hef's friends are not victims by any means. But they showed a great amount of loyalty to him and the Playboy brand for decades before his death. I am incredibly skeptical of the notion that Hef's friends, but for some NDA, would have otherwise planned on ratting him out and showing the world that his health was declining.
The value of silence is subjective. Someone signing an NDA does not necessarily mean they are now restricted from publicly communicating something major. It very well might mean they just now have a legal obligation to do the thing that they would have done otherwise.
If, somehow, Crystal had been able to get Hef's friends to sign NDAs, I do not think that it influenced their behavior enough from what would have otherwise been that anyone needs to be that concerned about it. If it did, great, they probably got a great payout from it.
Misunderstanding #2 - NDAs are counter-intuitive to free speech and Hef would have never stood for them
As I'm sure many of you are aware, the First Amendment protection of free speech refers to the government's ability to restrict speech. Someone choosing to sign an NDA is not the same as the government preventing your broadcast from reaching its desired audiences. Someone choosing to not enter a private preschool with an AR-47 has nothing to do with their Second Amendment rights. The free speech that Hef specifically was known for advocating for had to do with censorship at the hands of the government from the broadcast of "obscene" content.
Maybe Bridget meant just the general philosophical idea of "free speech," which you would hope her masters in communication would have taught her to clarify the difference between. Regardles, remember, NDAs require consideration. This is not just ruthless silencing of innocent people who'd love to speak out about how awful Crystal is. These are wealthy, if not also highly educated, people in Hef's inner circle who, if they signed an NDA, surely understand the gravity (or lack thereof) of what they're agreeing to.
Likewise, I don't think Hef was against the idea of an NDA. Holly speculated that Hef wouldn't have required NDAs for those going into the bedroom because it would have given them a second to think about their decision. There's probably truth to this, but courts are also -very- reluctant to enforce any contracts that seem as though they would implicitly be authorizing sex in exchange for money. Also keep in mind the limited opportunities for women at that time to "speak out" if they even wanted to share about what happened in the bedroom. Hef probably would've loved for the public to hear what happened. There wasn't social media or the same understanding of power dynamics as there are these days. Who is someone who went into the bedroom and didn't sign an NDA and had a horrible time going to go to?
Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Holly said she signed an NDA to work at the studio. This is perfectly reasonable. Anyone who is on a salary or signed a contract with an employer probably has signed off on an NDA clause and are currently bound by it. You couldn't keep something like who the Playmate of the Year was under wraps without some strict confidentiality provisions. The Playboy empire could not exist if there was some kind of blanket rule against NDAs.
Additionally, part of the allure of the mansion parties, per the podcast, were that no outside cameras were permitted inside. You're really gonna rag on someone not wanting a bunch of shitty iPhone shots of a man in his dying days, meanwhile you're singing the praises of exclusive parties that for decades wouldn't let people take and share photos of the event?
I am fully confident that Hef did not have issues with NDAs for business purposes, and certainly did not see that as contradicting his stance on free speech. In the podcast they said the mansion staff signed NDAs as part of their employment contracts There are countless examples of the Playboy company trying to silence people in Secrets of Playboy. Hef made it very clear that his stance was that free speech was important when it could help his bottom line. Anything else was negotiable.
Misunderstanding #3 - If someone signs an NDA it's automatically enforceable/If an NDA is unenforceable that will be obvious from the get go
To play devil's advocate to myself, I will say that whether an NDA is enforceable by a court of law and whether the parties abide by the terms are two separate issues. In many cases, a contract may not hold up in court if someone seeks to litigate over alleged violation of the terms. Most contracts don't get litigated over let alone actually get a final determination of their enforceability by a Court.
I will say that there's possibility that Crystal had people sign NDAs that were shotty but that the signers didn't understand that the NDAs weren't legitimate and so they still complied with the terms of the contract. (for example, often those waivers you sign for various activities wouldn't hold up in court, but people think they do, which precludes a lot of people from even considering bringing a claim) But this goes back to the type of people who would be signing these NDAs who otherwise might have access to sensitive information about Hef or the company. These are not girls coming out to do test shoots or the larger guest list at the mansion parties. These are people who are wealthy, powerful, and educated and would not be duped by the idea that merely signing an NDA with ridiculous terms would mean the contract is enforceable. Or perhaps they just didn't give a fuck enough about blabbing so there was no reason for them to even question the NDA that would stop them from saying something they weren't playing on saying.
Not a misunderstanding but one closing note in defense of these hypothetical NDAs - The power of speech for the average person has increased exponentially in the digital and social media age. HB acknowledge that the mansion parties were unique from anything currently because there weren't the same tools we have now to disseminate information. I think it's sort of an apples and oranges comparison in terms of confidentiality to compare the vibes of the buffet movie nights from the early 2000s to the 2010s, not even taking into account the nature of Hef's health.
I think Bridget talked about how a lot of screen contracts didn't allow for residuals from streaming services because they literally hadn't existed then. By the time smartphones and social media were ubiquotus I don't think Hef really gave that much of a care about protecting his or the brand's image. Hef never had a policy or strategy to address social media because it just wasn't even a problem for him to consider, not because he had some absolutely stance on letting anyone who came to the mansion say whatever they wanted about it to the masses.
Ok, I think that's all I have for now. Happy to talk about this or debate this more, but wanted to clear some things up since I feel like this drama with Crystal and allegations about NDAs is going to come up in the near future.

Hi there, welcome to my post! Feel free to make an offer for anything listed :D
The Boring Stuff: - Items come from a non-smoking home, and are all new / never used unless noted. Used items have photos showing usage. - Prices exclude shipping & insurance, to be calculated to your zip code ($5+).

ISO List

(trades only, not looking to purchase at this time. Will also look at lists!)

• Imaginary Authors: A City on Fire, Memoirs of a Trespasser, O Unknown, Saint Julep, Whispered Myths
  
• Too Faced mini Gingerbread Spice palette
  
• Too Faced mini Salted Caramel palette
  
• Tetris x Ipsy brushes
  
• Christophe Robin Regenerating Hair Mask - FS or multiple minis from beauty boxes
  
• Necromancy Cosmetica lipsticks in Ancient Queen, Lydia, Solis Mortem, or Ophidian
  
• Try me on lip scrubs (new please)
  
• Pat McGrath Subversive palette (also interested in other gold PM items)
  
• Lalique fragrances: Fleur Universelle, Or Intemporel, Silver, Zamak, and Zinc
  
• Jo Malone fragrances: particularly interested in Bloomsbury (non-floral - Leather & Artemisia, Tobacco & Mandarin, and Whiskey & Cedarwood) and Ginger Biscuit, but try me
  
• Zoologist samples
  
• Marc Jacobs fragrances: Ginger Cocktail
  
• Diptyque fragrances: Eau Lente and Eau Duelle
  
• Ginger / clove forward fragrances in general...if someone has a decant of CB I hate perfume Gingerbread that would be awesome
  

Palettes, Kits, and Sets

Anastasia Beverly Hills eyeshadow singles, listed L-R, top then bottom. $25 for the 4 shadows, or priced individually below: - ABH eyeshadow single in Wine, full size, swatched - $8 - ABH eyeshadow single in Surface of the Sun, full size, swatched - $8 - ABH eyeshadow single in Chocolate Crumble, full size, new - $8 - ABH eyeshadow single in Metal, full size, swatched - $8
Benefit Greeting From Cabana Glama DesTANation Makeup Kit, used as shown - $15
Karl Lagerfeld x ModelCo Minaudière with Mini Lip Kit, full size, NIB P - $100 Includes: - Minaudière hard clutch / makeup bag, with attachable (heavy) chain to use as a shoulder bag and dust bag - Full-size Lip Liner in Rosewood (0.05 oz.) - 2 Mini Lip Glosses in Ramatuelle and St Tropez Sunset (0.04 oz. each) - 2 Mini Lipsticks in Kate and Stella (0.05 oz. each)
Flesh Starshine eyeshadow palette, full size, new. Open. Back of palette. - $20
Kat von D Shade + Light eyeshadow palette in Plum, full size, used 2x as shown. Back of palette. - $10
Make Up For Ever MUFE 9 artist shadow palette Volume 4 (shades 100, 842, 240, 620, 806, 536, 126, 546, 530), full size, used 2x as shown. Back of palette. - $25
Smith & Cult Book of Eyes quad palette in Noonsuite (bronzey), full size, NIB - $25
Tarte Be Your Own Tarteist Eye & Cheek Palette, used as shown - $20
Urban Decay Naked Cherry palette, full size, NIB - $40

Eyes

Brows:
Anastasia Beverly Hills ABH Clear Brow Gel, travel size (2.5ml), NIB - $7
ModelCo More Brows in Light / Medium, Full Size - $10
Ulta Brow Tint in Medium, full size, new - $6
Eyeliner:
BareMinerals Lasting Line Long-wearing Eye Liner in Absolute Black, Full Size, New - $10
Beauty For Real I-Line 24-7 Eyeliner in Black Magic, full size, new - $10
Estée Lauder Automatic Eye Pencil Duo Refill in Charcoal, full size, NIB - $10
Lancome Drama Liqui-Pencil in Noir Intense, Travel Size, .018oz - $5
Laura Geller I-Care Waterproof Eyeliner in Charcoal, Full Size - $10
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk (white), full size, new - $3
Sephora Waterproof Contour Eye Pencil in 33 Love Affair (plum), new, travel size (.017oz) - $3
Stila Smudge Stick Waterproof Eyeliner in Stingray (jet black), full size, NIB - $15
Tarte Sex Kitten Eyeliner in Black, travel size (half size, .0035oz), new - $8
Ulta Dual-Ended Liner, in Halo & Black/Brown, Full Size - $3
Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Sparkling Eyeliner in Blacklight, Full Size, cracked cap used 2x - $5
Eyeshadow:
Kat Von D KVD Metal Crush Eyeshadow in Thunderstruck (warm white gold), full size (.1oz), swatched - $12
Laura Geller Baked Marble Eyeshadow in Amethyst, full size, new - $12
Maybelline Expert Wear Eyeshadow in Amethyst Smokes, used 3x - $2
NYC HD Color Trio Eye Shadow in Late Night Latte, Full Size, used 5x - $2
NYX Prismatic Eyeshadow Single in Punk Heart (plum with purple shimmer), full size, used as shown - $3
Trestique Color and Smudge Shadow Crayon in Marimoto Pink Pearl, full size, NIB - $15
Ulta Eye Shadow singles Duo in Petite (light beige matte) and Beauty Junkie (mauve glitter), both full size (.06oz), both new - $8 for the pair
Ulta Eye Shadow Palette in Lace, Charm, Nostalgia, Vintage, Delicate, and Seaside, .21oz, new - $6
Lashes:
Eyelure London Limited Edition Party Lashes in Snow Princess, full size, NIB - $3
Wet n Wild Fantasy Makers Blue Glow in the Dark Lashes, full size, NIB - $2
Mascara:
BellaPierre Volume Lash Waterproof Mascara, full size, new & sealed - $10
Butter London Double Decker Lashes Mascara in Black, travel size (.18oz), NIB - $6
Clinique Chubby Lash Mascara in 01 Jumbo Jet (black), travel size (4ml), NIB - $5
Clinique High Impact Mascara in black, half size (.15oz), new - $10
Clinique Lash Power Flutter-to-Full Mascara in 01 Black Onyx, travel size, new - $8
Estée Lauder Sumptuous Knockout Mascara in 01 Black, travel size (.09oz), new - $10
Julep Length Matters Mascara in Jet Black, travel size (.2oz), NIB - $8
Laura Geller StyleLASH Intense Lengthening Mascara, FS (.33oz), NWOB - $14
Maybelline Great Lash Mascara in Black, travel size (.15oz), new - $2
Pur Big Look Mascara with Argan oil, full size (.12oz), new - $6
Ulta Amped Lashes Mascara in Jet Black, full size, new - $6
Ulta Beauty Maximum Lashes Defining and Lengthening Mascara, full size, new - $6

Lips

Lip Gloss, Balms, & Stains:
ChapStick Lip Butter in Green Tea Mint, full size, NIB - $2
First Aid Beauty FAB Ultra Repair Lip Therapy, full size (.5oz), new - $8
Jane Iredale SPF 15 Lip Drink Lip Balm in Flirt (sheer pink), full size, NIB - $10
MAC Vamplify Lip Gloss in Suggestive, FS, new - $12
Mally Beans High Shine Lip Gloss in Pilar Bean, DS (.07oz), new - $6
NYC City Proof Extended Wear Lip Gloss in Mauving All Night #458, Full Size - $3
Philosophy High-Gloss Lip Shine in Fresh Cream, full size (.4oz), new and sealed - $6
Pur Chrome Glaze High-Shine Lip Gloss In DIY (pinky nude), full size (0.07 oz), NIB - $10
Ulta Double Duty Lip Stain and Balm in Drama (Dark Red), full size, new - $4
Ulta Double Duty Lip Stain and Balm in Romance (Pink), full size, new - $4
Urban Decay Revolution Lip Gloss in Savage (bright pink), travel size (.05oz), new - $5
Whole Foods organic lip balm in Peppermint, full size, new and sealed - $1
Whole Foods organic lip balm in Pomegranate Orange, full size, new and sealed - $1
Whole Foods organic lip balm in Tangerine, full size, new and sealed - $1
Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush Lip Balm in Minty Kiss, Full Size - $3
Lip Liners & Primers:
Kat Von D Everlasting Lip Liner in Homegirl, full size (.25g), used 2x as shown - $10
Milani Color Statement Lip Liner in 02 True Red, full size, new - $2
Tarte Tarteist Lip Crayon in Thirsty (bright red), .01oz, NIB - $10
Lipstick - Liquid:
Julep It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse in At Midnight (Fireball Red Matte), full size (.14oz), new - $10 for 1, $16 for 2
Julep It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse in Love Potion (Bronzed Black Metallic Matte), full size (.14oz), new P - $10 for 1, $16 for 2
Julep It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse in Pillow Talk (Victorian Pink Matte), full size (.14oz), new - $10 for 1, $16 for 2
Julep It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse in Say Hello (Rich Marsala Matte), full size (.14oz), new - $10 for 1, $16 for 2
Julep It's Whipped Matte Lip Mousse in XOXO (Femme Fuchsia Matte), full size (.14oz), new - $10 for 1, $16 for 2
Laura Geller Lip Silk Liquid Lipstick in French Kiss (soft pink), full size, new - $10
Maybelline Color Sensational Vivid Matte Liquid Lip Color in Nude Flush , Full Size, swatched 1x - $3
NYX Suede Cream Liquid Lipstick in Orange County (bright orange), travel size (.05oz), new - $4, or 2/$6
NYX Suede Cream Liquid Lipstick in Pink Lust (bright pink), travel size (.05oz), new - $4, or 2/$6
NYX Cosmetics Soft Matte Lip Cream in Transylvania (deep wine), full size (0.27 oz), new - $4, or 2/$6
OCC Lip Tar in Disintegration (pale plum metallic), full size, NIB - $12
OCC Lip Tar in Hoochie (magenta / purple), full size, NIB - $12
Tarte Lip Sculptor, Lipstick & Lipgloss, in VIP (cool nude), travel size (1.5g lipstick 1ml lipgloss), new - $10
Tarte Tarteist Lip Paint in Bae (red), full size, new - $13
Lipstick - Bullet & Pencil:
Almay Demi-Sheer Creme Lipcolor in 80 Demi Mauve, full size, used 3x as shown - $8
Bite Beauty Luminous Creme Lipstick Topper, no shade listed but a shimmery bronze, full size, new - $18
Bite Beauty High Pigment Pencil in Rhubarb, full size (.09oz), used 1x - $10
Bite Beauty Matte Cream Lipstick in Barberry (cool dark plum), full size, used as shown - $16
DCA Lipstick in No. 108, full size, used 2x as shown - $4
Estée Lauder All-Day Lipstick in Ancient Brick, full size, swatched as shown - $12
Estée Lauder Pure Color Envy Sculpting Lipstick in Irresistible, full size (.12oz), new P - $15
Illamasqua Glamour Lipstick in Tease (pale Nude), full size, used 3x - $12
Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Homegirl (satin matte berry), travel size (.04oz), used as shown - $6
Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Poe (cool metallic blue), full size, NIB - $12
Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Roxy (purple), mini size (1g), used 1x as shown - $6
Korres Matte Twist Lipstick in Tempting Coral, full size (.05oz), new - $10
Lancome Rouge Absolu Lipstick in Rose Espace, full size, used 3x as shown - $12
Laura Geller Color Brilliance Lustrous Lipstick in Cute, full size, new - $12
Laura Geller Italian Marble lipstick in Strawberry Toffee, full size, new - $12
MAC Retro Matte Lipstick in Flat Out Fabulous (bright pink/purple), full size, new - $12
Makeup Academy Lipstick in Persian Rose (bright pink), full size, used 1x - $3
Makeup Revolution Scandalous Lipstick in Depraved (violet), full size, used 1x - $3
NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in 413 BLKR (fuchsia), full size (.08oz), new - $16
NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Let's Go Crazy (cool fuchsia), 3/4 size (1.8g, FS is 2.4g), new - $10
Nudestix Magnetic Matte Lip Color in Greystone (greige), .088oz (FS is .1oz), new - $12
NYC Lipstick in Fragile Pink, Full Size - used as shown - $2
NYC Ultra Moist Lip Wear in Blossom #316, Full Size, Used 2x - $2
NYC Ultra Moist Lip Wear in Ruby #305, Full Size, Used 2x - $2
Sephora Collection Rouge Cream in #49 Belly-Dancing (red), mini (.03oz, FS is .14) - $2
Smashbox Be Legendary Cream Lipstick in Inspiration (cool fuchsia), .08oz (FS is .1oz), new - $10, or 2/$15
Smashbox Be Legendary Cream Lipstick in Legendary (cool red), .08oz (FS is .1oz), new - $10, or 2/$15
Smashbox Be Legendary Cream Lipstick in Tabloid (cool violet), .08oz (FS is .1oz), new - $10, or 2/$15
Ulta Lipstick in Cherry Picked 202 (medium true red), Full Size, Used 1x - $4
Urban Decay x Gwen Stefani lipstick in Spiderweb (satin red cream), full size, NIB - $12
Urban Decay Matte Revolution Lipstick in Temper (red-orange), full size, NIB - $12
Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in Phone Call (bright pink with cream finish), full size, NIB - $10
Wander Beauty Wanderout Dual Lipstick in Wanderberry (rich burgundy), half size (.07oz), new - $10
Winky Lux Matte Lip Velour in Royal (purple), .14oz, NIB - $10

Face

Blush:
Lancome Blush Subtil in in Rose Fresque, full size (.18oz), used as shown - $12
Ulta Cheek Palette in Fresh Glow Highlighter and Nude Pink Blush, .155oz, new - $5
Bronzer & Contour:
BareMinerals BareSkin Serum Bronzer in Sheer Sun, Travel Size (.1oz) - $3
St. Tropez One Night Only Finishing Gloss, travel size (.16oz), new - $2
Foundations, Concealers, CC Cream, & Powders:
Bee Naturals Tinted Moisturizer in Shade 2 (Medium/Dark), Full Size (1oz) - 1/$15 or 2/$20
Benefit Porefessional Pore Minimizing Makeup in Shade 1, travel size (.16oz), new - $10
Dermablend Loose Setting Powder, travel size (.11oz), new - $10
Jane Iredale Smooth Affair, travel size (.24oz), new - $8
Julep Cushion Complexion concealer 5-in-1 Skin Perfector with Turmeric in 200 Nude, full size, NIB - $18
Laura Geller Balance-N-Brighten Baked Foundation in Medium, full size, new - $15
Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder, travel size (.12oz), new - $6
Pixi by Petra Beauty Bronzer in Summertime, Travel Size, .16oz - $4
Highlighters:
Laura Geller Baked Gelato Lace Illuminator in Ballerina, full size, new - $15
Laura Geller Baked Golden Rose Highlighter, full size, new - $12
P/Y/T Upgrade Highlighter in Backstage Pass (warm shimmer nude), .07oz, NIP - $8
Primers & Setting Sprays:
Becca First Light Priming Filter, travel size (.2oz), NIB - $7
Japonesque Velvet Touch Primer, travel size (.3oz), new - $8
Laura Geller Spackle Even Tone Primer, travel size (.5oz), new - $6
Pur Correcting Primer, travel size (.3oz), new - $10
Too Faced Hangover 3-in-1 Face Primer & Setting Spray, travel size (.06oz), NIB - $4
Too Faced Hangover Replenishing Face Primer, travel size (.16oz), NIB - $4
Urban Decay All Nighter Long Lasting Makeup Spray, travel size (.5oz), new - $6

Skincare & Body

BareMinerals Skinlongevity Vital Power Infusion, full size (1.7oz), new - $35
Bliss Leave it to Cleavage, Travel Size, .5oz - $4
Bliss Triple Oxygen Instant Energizing Foaming Mask, new, travel size (.16oz) - $3
Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, new, Travel Size (.5oz) - $4
Clinique 7 Day Scrub Cream, travel size (1oz), new - $5
Daily Concepts Exfoliating Body Scrubber - $5
Elizabeth Arden Prevage Daily Anti-Aging Serum, Travel Size, .17oz - $8
Erborian Bamboo Creme Frappe Skin Reviving Gel, new, travel size (.17oz) - $4
Estée Lauder Advanced Night Micro Cleansing Foam, travel size (1oz), new - $6
Estée Lauder Revitalizing Supreme+ Global Anti-Aging Cell Power Creme, .5oz, new - $15
First Aid Beauty FAB Facial Radiance Intensive Peel, travel size (.34oz), new - $6
First Aid Beauty FAB Ultra Repair Cream, travel size (1oz), new - $6
First Aid Beauty FAB Ultra Repair Cream Intense Hydration in Honeysuckle, travel size (1oz), new - $6
First Botany Cosmeceuticals 50X Strength Hyaluronic Acid Serum, .5oz, new - $8
MAC Cleanse Off Oil, travel size (.2oz), new - $4
Milk Makeup Sunshine Oil, Sample, .1oz - $2
Murad Age Reform Nutrient-Charged Water Gel, travel size (.25oz), NIB - $10
Omorovicza Budapest Magic Moisture Mist, full size (1.7oz), NIB - $65
Omorovicza Balancing Moisturizer, full size (30ml), new - $50
Perricone MD Blue Plasma Cleansing Treatment (gentle cleanser), travel size (2oz), new - $18
Perricone MD Cold Plasma Plus + Eye Cream, travel size (.25oz), new - $30
Proactiv Skin Purifying Mask, travel size (1oz), NIB - $10
Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate, travel size (.33oz), new - $15
Strivectin TL Advanced Light Tightening Neck Cream, travel size (.25oz), NIB - $10
Toulon Mineral Infusion Serum-92, 1oz - $6
Whish Self-Tanner, Travel Size (.75oz) - $2

Hair / Tools / Nail Polish / Etc

Alterna Haircare Caviar Anti-Aging Miracle Volume Mist, travel size (1.4oz), new - $6
Bumble & Bumble BB Pret-a-Powder, travel size (.5oz), used 1x - $8
Essie Nail Lacquer in Say it Aint Soho (metallic copper), full size, new - $5
Fatboy Spray Putty, full size (4.8oz), new - $15
Julep Color Treat Polish in It Girl Lillian (pink creme), full size, new - $8
Living Proof TBD Multi-Tasking Styler, travel size (1oz), new - $7
OPI Nail Lacquer in Can i Bairro This Shade (dusty teal), full size, new - $5
OPI Nail Lacquer in The Taupe of the Iceberg, full size, new - $5
Phyto Paris Phytoelixir Cleansing Care Hair Cream, travel size (1oz), new - $8
Phyto Paris Intense Hydrating Brilliance Mask (Dry Hair Phytojoba), 1.7oz, NIB - $8
Matrix Total Results Miracle Creator Multi-Tasking Treatment, travel size (1oz), new - $3
Urban Decay Heavy Metal loose glitter in Reverb (blue), full size (.10oz), NIB - $10

Fragrance

Full Size
Aromachology Exotic & Spicy EDP, full size (1.7oz), used 1x - $40
Jo Malone English Oak & Redcurrant Cologne, full size (3.4 oz), sprayed 1x - $100
Penhaligon's Heartless Helen, full size (75ml) in box, used 3x - $160
Ralph Lauren Polo Sport for Women, used as shown - $12
Travel Size
Armani Air di Gioia EDP, travel size spray (.5oz - bigger than a rollerball), NIB - $20
Armani Sky di Gioia EDP, travel size spray bottle (.5oz - bigger than a rollerball), NIB - $20
Bvlgari Au The Rouge EDC, travel size (.17oz), used 2x - $10
Candie's Candie's EDT, travel size (.5oz), about 60% remaining - $5
Lush All Good Things solid perfume, travel size (12g), used 1x as shown - $15
Origins Ginger Essence Sensuous Skin Scent, travel size (.5 oz), used as shown (about 80% remaining) - $12
Philosophy Pure Grace EDT spray, travel size (.5oz), NIB - $15
Samples 3/$5
Atelier Cologne Vanilla Insensée Cologne Absolue, sample size + postcard, new - $3
Burberry Mr. Burberry EDT, sample size (2ml), new - $2
Calvin Klein Eternity for Men EDT, sample size (1.2ml), new - $2
Clean for Men Classic EDT, sample size (1ml), new - $2
Versace Eros EDT, sample size (1ml), new - $2
Viktor & Rolf Spicebomb EDT, sample size (1.2ml), new - $2.

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Brick, Jasmine, Justin, Millie
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper, Scott, Sky
Episode 6: The Aftermath I: Trent's Descent
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode as a pair of purple concentric circles flew across and back in the screen towards the upper-left corner, a group of smaller, bluer circles flying through them in the same direction but at a higher speed. As it neared the top of the screen a large and blocky red 'T' flashed into existence and descended back down, and the background music continued into a theme fit for an evening talk show. A similarly-styled 'D' and 'A' appeared next as a few more purple or blue rings crossed the screen, then the three letters slid in from the left to spell out 'TDA'. The word 'AFTERMATH' popped up from the bottom of the screen, temporarily bumping up the first three letters before they slammed back down and centered the text in the middle of the screen.
A gleam swept across the text from upper-left to lower-right, and the 'D' briefly popped forwards with the faint sound of a camera, turning a little bit counterclockwise before reversing into its former position.
Clip 1
"Any final words?" Chris asked the eliminated contestants.
“Yeah. You guys actually voted me off. I respect that,” Eva nodded with a smirk.
“Good luck dudes. Wicked play,” Geoff smiled as he and Eva got off the bleachers and went to the red carpet.
The 'D' popped out briefly again and another bout of recap footage began.
Clip 2
"Here's the deal," Chef stated, pacing about slowly in front of the teen. "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize with me.” He leaned in closer towards Brick's face. “Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you," he finished with a deadly scowl, much to Brick's discomfort.
The 'D' popped out a third time, signaling the start of another set of recap footage.
Clip 3
“Trent, it's time to go!” Chris informed the eliminated contestant.
Trent got off the stands. “Before I do, can I at least say goodbye to Sky?”
“You could, but it'd be pointless since Chef will just carry you to the limo,” Chris smiled.
“Alright,” Trent sighed and faced his former teammates. “I'm really sorry about my actions, guys. I'll see you later.” With nothing left to say, he turned and walked down the red carpet.
A fourth time the 'D' popped out, and the last set of recap footage played.
Clip 4
"Izzy!" Izzy was left gaping. "Time to go!" Chris announced.
“I'm not going anywhere,” Izzy objected. “That's not my name.”
“Can I get a pen over here?” Chris raised his hand in annoyance. A pen was given to him, and he started to write on the paper. “It says "E-Scope" now, okay?!” This made Izzy finally stand up.
"And remember," Chris told her as she started to walk past the stage, "you can never come back, ev-er!" The host pressed an orange button next to his microphone, and two identical guards came over and grabbed Izzy by her arms.
(Theme Song)
The same sequence used to open the recap was replayed, an unseen audience cheering wildly after the 'TDA AFTERMATH' logo shined. The camera faded into a shot of a stage from the shadowed audience; it was set up like a talk show with one couch and table in the middle, and two tiers of couches on either side. A variety of lights both stage and decorative were scattered around, and to the left was a passage backstage half-hidden by dividing walls and the dark red curtains that framed the set.
And most importantly, sitting on that central couch, were two figures. Damien on the left and Priya on the right.
The camera zoomed in on them as the applause died down, a pair of computer displays visible on the table turned towards the hosts as Priya waved. "Hey there everyone!" she greeted with a smile. "Welcome to the brand-new Total Drama Action Aftermath Show!"
She paused as the audience cheered and applauded again, and once they'd died down, Damien spoke up. "We're coming to you live," he said, "to dish everything Total Drama Action!"
"This is where the real action is!" Priya said to another bout of cheering. "I'm Priya!" she added in with a smile.
"And I'm Damien!" Damien beamed.
"You may remember us from the hit series Total Drama Island," Priya continued.
"And it's thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action," Damien said, “even if we're not on it.”
"I hate that we missed out on the season and a chance to get the money,” Priya grumbled but regained her positivity, “but we have our own show, so I think it compensates."
"Being in the sequel could've given me the possibility of being rich, but when I'm with you, money doesn't matter," Damien smiled happily at Priya, and the crowd awwed.
"Aww, that's so sweet!” Priya gushed and turned to the audience. “And with no competitions here, we get to talk to all of you."
“So about that new season. Pretty cool, right?" Damien asked, looking out at the camera.
"Of course," Priya nodded. "They get to be on a film lot and do different kinds of movie challenges. How spectacular is that?" The crowd cheered in agreement.
"Super spectacular," a voice said from off-camera, the shot zooming out to show that the couches on the right had been occupied by the other non-competing contestants. On the top row were Rodney, Sam, and Gwen, while the bottom row had Topher, Katie, and Sadie.
“We were being rhetorical," Damien pointed out, "but hey, thanks for reminding everyone that you're not invisible! Topher, everyone!" The camera focused on the dirty blonde, who took stride in the applause from the audience.
"We also brought along all the others from the first season," Priya said.
"They may be considered losers," Damien said, "but not to us."
“Aww,” Katie gushed.
“That is so sweet, you guys,” Sadie added.
"The pleasure's all ours," Damien replied. "Give it up for Topher!" he said, and the crowd cheered as the camera cut back to the fanboy. He shot a wink as the screen was split and a clip played of him smacking a fly onto his eye and getting it swollen.
"And Rodney!" Priya added, the camera cutting to the country boy waving at the camera. The screen also split to play a clip of him, showing him returning back to the game on boat.
"Katie and Sadie!" Damien introduced the two girls.
“Oh my gosh!” Katie cheered.
“We are so super excited to be here!” Sadie expressed her happiness.
"Next we have Sam!" Priya said as the camera moved to the gamer smiling at the camera as a clip played in the split screen showing him hanging from a tree by his knees before falling down.
"And how about a shout out to Gwen!" Damien said. Gwen smiled at the camera while the split screen showed a clip of the goth eating blueberries from a bush.
The camera cut over to Topher, who was engrossed in a phone call. "How long are the papers going to take?" he asked before noticing the audience. "Sorry mom, but I'll have to call you back later!"
Priya and Damien shared a glance before Damien smiled at the camera. "We've also got a lot of texts and emails from all of you!" he said excitedly.
"Plus," Priya said, "we'll have a couple of you on webcam!"
"Eva and Geoff will be here," Damien announced, and the crowd went wild.
"And let's not forget our favorite nutcase, Izzy!" Priya added with a smile, earning another roaring cheer from the crowd.
"Plus the guy with the soul of music, Trent!" Damien finished to another round of applause.
"You know what's strange? The four that you two mentioned were part of the final six in Island along with Scott and you, Priya," Topher said.
"That is pretty shocking," Priya added. "Eva and Geoff especially."
"Eva could have won the season again, but I guess no one wants a repeat," Sam laughed a bit.
"We've got a lot to talk about," Damien told the audience. "It's almost time to welcome our first guests," he announced, "but first, take a look at this!" The nervous wreck looked up to the wide and flat television hanging above the central couch.
The television's static cut to a clip of Geoff and Eva running together to escape the monster. "Geoff and Eva's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said.
"But it sure was packed with the action that we grew to love," Priya continued as Eva and Geoff stuck their heads out from behind a cardboard cutout of a small red car.
"Eva managed to recover from her broken ankle from last season," Damien continued as the muscle woman was shown running through the sidewalk.
"And Geoff proved that losing a tooth doesn't mean losing your positivity," Priya said as footage of Geoff showing off his golden tooth replacement was shown.
"And they both did well for themselves, even if they didn't win the second challenge!" Damien followed up as clips of Geoff and Eva being shown on the ground along with being shot with paintballs courtesy of Chef played.
"But unfortunately, they weren't able to play for another day!" Priya continued.
"I don't even blame the contestants since Eva and Geoff were last season's Final Two," Damien spoke as a clip played of the two going into the limousine. "At least they still have their friendship!"
"One has eaten dog food," Priya said, "and the other has taken control of a forest fire. Our first two guests are Geoff and Eva!"
The Aftermath theme tune played and the crowd went wild as Eva and Geoff pushed open the backstage doors and walked out, smiling at both the audience and the hosts as they took their seats on the lower couch on the left.
"Hey guys!" Priya greeted with a smile as Damien waved.
"Damien! Priya! Glad to see you two again!" Eva said happily.
"Yeah!" Geoff added. "You two getting the hosting gig is impressive!"
"Great to have you guys!" Damien told them. "Sorry you two got eliminated first."
"No need to apologize," Geoff said. "We didn't leave completely empty-handed!"
"Wait, how so?" Damien asked in confusion. "You didn't win the money."
"Not like that," Eva answered. "Geoff managed to take pictures of everybody and everything from the first two seasons to put onto his scrapbook."
"And Eva managed to use part of her money to get construction to build her dream gym," Geoff added. "It's still in construction by the way."
“So how did you two manage to become the Aftermath hosts?” Eva asked them.
"The producers took note of me and Damien's relationship and decided on us being the hosts," Priya answered. "I couldn't pass up this opportunity."
"And plus, the other non-competitors either refused or were turned down," Damien added.
“They especially turned me down,” Topher grumbled. “I would've made a great host.”
"That's pretty understandable," Eva said. "I sure as heck don't want to run my mouth longer than I need to."
"Yeah, hosting a show is something I won't be able to perform well in," Geoff added.
"Moving on," Damien said, "how does it feel being the first two voted off the show?"
"Honestly, I gotta say it was kinda like a punch to the gut," Eva admitted. "I know I'm strong, but I didn't think the contestants would team up to vote us out in just the first episodes."
"I didn't mind as much," Geoff interjected. "I mean, I did want to win the million dollars, but given how we competed in every episode of the first season, it seems fair for us to go home early this time around and give the others a shot. And besides, money isn't everything."
"Thanks for your inputs," Priya said as the camera cut over to her and Damien, "I think it's time for a game called 'Truth or Hammer'!" The crowd started to go wild.
A grand tune played as a shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice was shown. The camera slowly pulled back from it, and as the music ended a large wooden mallet swung down from the left and smashed it to pieces.
Damien stood up as the scene cut back to the hosts and guests. "Here's how this works: we ask you a question, and if you give the wrong answer, a huge hammer will swing down on you."
"Uh, what?" Geoff said as he and Eva looked at each other nervously.
"Eva, Geoff, move out of the way as we do a test run!" Priya announced, and a giant wooden hammer immediately swung down at Eva and Geoff, the two barely avoiding the hit.
"Looks like the hammer is working well. How about we get to the questions?" Damien turned his head to the reality TV fan.
"Absolutely," Priya agreed. "So Eva, after winning last season, why do you think things didn't go well for you this time?"
"Like we both said, we were big time threats. If we didn't get voted off in the second episode, one of us likely would've been in the final two again," Eva answered and looked above her, the hammer still remaining in its position.
"I'm a strategic player, and if I wasn't the first season's winner, I obviously would've voted out the strongest player just so I could get closer to winning," Eva continued.
"Good answer!" Damien said. "So Geoff, are you even remotely mad at not winning the first season and getting kicked off in the second?"
Geoff looked up. "I'm not going to lie at all, especially when there's a hammer that can crush me," the party guy said. "I'm kind of upset."
Everyone was silent for a moment before it became clear the hammer wasn't going to swing down. "I mean... it's like you got dreams for this money and to see them flushed down the drain is disappointing," Geoff explained. "But it is what it is. I had a good time competing, and I got news from one of my brothers that my golden tooth can be sold for money, so at least I got some compensation."
"I'd suggest cleaning the tooth before you sell it," Damien advised before looking at the camera and smiling. "So how about we hear from one of the viewers!"
"Let's see," Priya said, looking down at the computer display on the table in front of her. "CunningLinguist316 asks: Who are you rooting for now that you've been eliminated?"
"Well, I'm rooting for Sky," Eva answered. "I can see some parts of myself in her, and she's one of the more worthy players in the game."
"I'm hoping my man Chase wins," Geoff answered. "He's super athletic and fast, and we're sorta like each other in many ways."
"Good to hear your thoughts," Damien told them.
"Exactly!" Priya added. "But I think it's time we bring out our next guest."
The camera panned up to the wide-screen television as footage of the wild child began to play. "Izzy's time on Total Drama Action may have been short," Damien said over a clip of Izzy pushing Ripper out of the way and getting captured by the animatronic monster.
"But it was a thrill ride," Priya added.
“Seriously, Izzy can make a bowl of paste tasty by adding herself to it,” Damien quipped over Izzy getting dropped into the bouncy castle.
"Later on, she suffered a serious blow at the hands of Chef," Priya added over the footage of Izzy falling onto the ground after getting shot in the chest with a paintball and Chef looking over her in worry.
“Chef thinks he's killed her. Look how scared he is!” Damien chimed in as the recap footage paused on Chef; a red circle was drawn around Chef's face.
“Never thought he'd have a sense of humanity. Check this part out! Super hilarious!” Priya giggled over Izzy standing up and laughing about her fake death. “Unfortunately, it was Justin that ruined Izzy's chances when the two took to the stage.” The clips of Justin performing his role and Izzy grumbling over her loss played.
"Dramatic and devious, Izzy will be back for more," Damien continued as the footage showed Izzy getting up from her seat and blowing kisses as the limousine took her away.
The scene returned to the hosts. "Our first guest has impersonated a grizzly and was caught peeing in a pool. Currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted... Izzy, A.K.A Kaleidoscope!!"
The crowd went wild as the Aftermath theme played, but it suddenly stopped as the hosts looked up at the television. It was now showing footage of a room backstage where Izzy was currently sitting on a couch and eating crackers. The crazy girl had a snack tray-laden table in front of her, and to the left was a television showing the same feed as the one on-stage.
Izzy took notice of the television set. "I'm on TV!" she exclaimed before accidentally spitting out her chewed-up crackers, making the audience laugh quietly. “Oh, oops. Cracker crumbs, you get back here!” She grabbed the crumbs, along with a few grapes and a cracker sandwich with cheese in the middle, and put them all in her cleavage, prompting more laughter.
Izzy stood up and walked out to the stage, the Aftermath theme playing again as she opened the backstage doors and walked out. The audience cheered, and Damien and Priya, along with Eva and Geoff - who were now on the top row of the couches - waved at her, causing her to return the gesture.
“Hello E-Scope!” Priya eagerly greeted her friend.
"Hi, Priya. Hi, Damien," Izzy greeted back as she sat on the couch. "So glad to be here."
“Awesome to have you, but it must be hard losing out on a million bucks,” Damien talked to her.
“Yeah, well... you would know,” Izzy responded, unamusing Damien and Priya while the audience gasped. “Hi, you guys!” she focused on the Peanut Gallery.”
“Hi, Izzy!” Rodney waved.
“Hi, everyone out there in TV land!” Izzy turned to the camera and noticed someone in the audience. “Graham Cracker! That's my old boyfriend Graham! He got a restraining order against me last year. Remember that, Graham?” The audience started mumbling. “So funny. Okay. We were in the courtroom and the judge was all like, "You cannot come within two hundred meters of the plaintiff or you shall suffer the consequences of this courtroom."
After taking a moment to laugh, Izzy continued her story. “The long distance was hard, but we made it work. By the way, Graham, you should get new blinds for your room. What are they made of, lead? I couldn't see a thing with my binoculars! Miss you, Graham Cracker!” She took a cracker out of her cleavage. “I am totally into crackers right now. They're just so flaky!” She giggled and put the cracker into her mouth.
“Kind of like someone we already know,” Damien muttered quietly.
“So Izzy, how did it feel to be the third one voted off the show?” Priya asked.
“My life is an open book. Well, not yet, but it will be once I write it. And you open the book!” Izzy guffawed.
“What was going through your head after being voted off?” Damien questioned.
The music turned sad. “When you realize you're not getting a Gilded Chris Award, well, I can't lie to you,” Izzy sniffed in a rare moment of sadness.
“Oh, it was that painful?” Priya expressed her sympathy.
“No, I just can't lie to you,” Izzy returned to her normal state. “I was outfitted with a lie deterrent microchip that sends shock waves at the first hint of dishonesty. Those are really nice pants, Damien.”
Izzy then got shocked in her neck, demonstrating the microchip inside the body part, but the wild child laughed it off.
“Carrying on,” Damien said uncomfortably. “So what exactly did losing out on the Gilded Chris mean to you?”
“It means I missed out on that buttery chocolate statuette. Ooh, I once took an art class sculpting chocolate nudes, my instructor said I had a real flair for cocoa,” Izzy brought up and earned another electrocution. “Okay, okay, okay. He said I was totally loco. That's what he's actually said.”
"Let's see if you can be honest while answering our questions,” Priya said sneakily, “and the giant hammer will come down if you don't tell the truth!"
“If my implant doesn't get me, the hammer will!” Izzy said, earning laughs from the audience.
Priya and Damien shared a look of bewilderment before facing the camera happily. “Want to know which questions we'll be asking Izzy?" Priya asked the camera.
"Be sure to stay tuned," Damien said. "Right now, we have to take a quick break! We'll be right back!"
The show's logo was shown again, and the 'D' popped out and transitioned the scene to a close-up of a plate of brown mush sitting on a tan-and-goldenrod striped table. Flies were buzzing around it, and part of a familiar torso could be seen standing behind it.
"This episode of the TDA Aftershow," Chef Hatchet said to a catchy elevator music-like jingle as one of the flies buzzing around died and the camera began to zoom out, "was brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are Bring Your Own Meat!" The camera stopped moving to show the hulking man in full, standing between the table with the plate of mush and a large stone fireplace in the background. In his left hand he held a skewer of a reddish and steaming hunk of meat resting on a plate-like guard piece. The tail of a skunk extended from the top of the meat hunk.
"You hit it, we spit it," Chef said with a motion to the steaming dish in his hand.
(Commercial Break)

Just came back a few days ago from a 3 week trip to Japan. Here was my experience:
To preface:

• I'm Canadian, Vietnamese, gay man, solo traveller
• I like new experiences and eating food, but I am not one to seek out the best or hottest place to go or obsessively look for tips on social media
• I like shopping and fashion and love discovering brands I am unable to get in North America
• I've been to Vietnam and I understand the very complex socioeconomical discrimination between Asians and Southeast Asians, colorism and what is considered a "rich" Asian country and a "poor" or "jungle" Asian country. I will have a hot take on this later in my breakdown.

General overview:
Day 1-3: Tokyo - I landed right on Pride weekend! It was fantastic. I knew only 1 person in Tokyo and I had some friends randomly also in Tokyo the same time I was. We went out for a drag brunch, one of the first of its kind in Japan as it's still a very new concept for the country. Performers were great though. Went to the Shinjuku gay district and had a blast discovering all these cool bars all with different vibes. It's also a great place to meet locals, tourists and immigrants (not just immigrants from Western countries, but from other Asian countries like China, Vietnam, Korea etc. who now live in Japan). There was also a festival for Pride in Yoyogi park and it was crowded and fun. Great to see Tokyo really embracing Pride.
Day 4-10: Based myself in Osaka but went exploring with my Setouchi JR West Pass throughout the week I was in Osaka. Went to Hiroshima and Miyajima Island, Nagoya so I can make my way to Ghibli Park (not a part of JR West so I paid out of pocket for that), and went to Kyoto twice. Overall, I really liked Osaka. I love big cities that are lively and noisy. I don't mind the crowds when I am also shopping in the Dotonbori area. The best part was cutting my day short in Kyoto because I was feeling sick, and then discovering that there was an exclusive Sailor Moon Museum happening in Namba and deciding to get tickets for that. Best unplanned experience that was actually better than Ghibli Park. Also, shopped on Orange Street, one of the best places for fashion lovers. Osaka castle was great but the line up to get in the castle was way too long and the day was super hot. Got to a see a high school Kendo tournament going on though so that was a neat experience!
Day 11-12: Flew to Sapporo from Osaka. It was cold. Windy on the first day. Rainy on the second day. Overall, just cold. Not Canadian Winter cold, but I wish I had a warmer jacket cold. It was the few places that had cherry blossoms left. The Sapporo Beer Museum was really neat and I liked learning about the history of such an iconic brand.
Day 13-21: Back to Tokyo. I am a remote worker and my job doesn't care where I work so I took the opportunity to save some vacation days for a future trip, and just work remotely while exploring Tokyo and surrounding areas. Went to Mt. Fuji for a day and back, did not get to see the mountain as it was really rainy and foggy that day. Wento the lucky cat shrine and it was cute but also busy for such a small shrine thanks to TikTok. Went out to the gay bars two more times and had a blast and met some new people (locals and tourists) who I still keep in contact with on social media. Got a tattoo at one point - LOVE IT. The artist was amazing and so gentle, I hardly felt anything. Did some more shopping in Ginza, Shibuya, Shinjuku and my favourite place - Harajuku! Overall, I really enjoyed Tokyo and my Japan trip as this was my first time.
Time and weather:

• rainy for half of it, warm for the other half. Chilly in Sapporo.
• was in Sapporo and Tokyo for Golden Week. Not as crazy as everyone says it would be. It was much crazier leading up to Golden Week. Was still able to get reserved seats tickets at the station itself easily and no need to book in advanced online. Honestly, didn't even bother booking online as the website isn't very clear especially when you have a JR West pass already.

Getting around:

• Digital Suica card on my iPhone. Worked for everything. So easy to use and got me around everywhere including the Kansai region and Sapporo.
• Right when I got off the plane, I got on a Airport Limo bus which was so much easier. No need to know which station to get off from and they had space for all my luggage. Took me to a hotel stop that was 2 blocks away from my hotel. Honestly, after a 9 hour flight, a limo bus is worth the $25 instead of the train and subway.
• Subways became easy to use and once you get to used to them, Osaka and Sapporo was easy to navigate as it was similar to Tokyo's subway.
• If you have a JR pass, pay attention to if you can use it on the local JR lines. Typically, you can. I forgot, and I tapped my Suica to enter a JR local line in Hiroshima, then I realized I could use my JR pass, so I stuck my pass in the machine and it let me through. But because I never tapped my Suica to leave the JR line in Hiroshima, my Suica card stopped working for train stations because it thinks I'm still on a trip in Hiroshima. Had to go to a subway guard (the ones in the booth next to the station gates where you tap your Suica), told them what happend using Google Translate and showed them my JR pass and they understood right away. They took my phone and put it on this scanner and it reset my Suica card. Very easy as if they've done this a million times before (they have).
• Used the convenience store and hotels to send my big luggage to my next hotel so I wouldn't have to deal with it on the train or train stations or flying with it when I flew from Osaka to Sapporo. Such a great service. Just bring your luggage to your hotel reception and tell them your next stop and when you want the luggage by. They will try to get it there the day you requested or the day after. Just be prepared to live out of your carry on for 1 or 2 days. If your hotel doesn't offer it, any 7-11, Family Mart or Lawson offers it. Lawson uses Japan Postal, 7-11 and Family Mart uses Yamato. I also sent my luggage to the airport before I had to leave Japan and it was a breeze. But be warned, for any transfer to an airport, it has to be 2 days before your departure flight or it won't make it on time.

Eating:
As much as I loved having a list of some places to eat at, I abandoned it and didn't really care anymore. From high-end restaurants, cafes, local places and even fast-food, everything was delicious. I stopped caring about where I ate, and just took a walk down any street and when I saw a menu I liked, I just went in. Honestly, even Denny's in Japan was amazing (it's a different menu and not like Denny's in Canada).
Shopping experience:
Loved shopping in Japan. I brought one large suitcase that was empty, put a smaller suitcase inside of it and then had my backpack and carry on suitcase. The yen was weaker than CAD, plus if you spend over 5,500 yen, and show them your passport, you'll get the tax off and some stores offer additional discounts for foreign passport holders.
Brands I bought:

• Onitsuka Tiger - best shoes ever. So stylish, comfy and very popular in Asia.
• Beams - they carry a variety of brands and their own brands.
• FR2 - great streetwear brand. They have different stores in different cities and exclusive pieces for that city.
• In Osaka, look for The Goodland Market on Orange Street. They carry brands that emphasize sustainability. Very laid-back and casual.
• Master-piece - great brand for bags.
• Saturdays NYC - this is an American brand but has a store in Tokyo. Loved the vibes. Very laid back.
• Rage Blue - easy styles with nice colours and cuts. Often had sales going on. Has a variety of brands.
• United Arrows - great styles here too. You'll be coming back to your country so fashionable.

A personal view:
I really like Japan and I would go again, but now that I've experienced it, I now know what I like and don't like. As much as everyone raves about Kyoto, I honestly didn't care for it. Inari shrine was great, the climb to the top was great exercise and most people give up not even halfway up so it gets less and less busy. I also like Nishiki market as I love street food in Vietnam so that type of vibe of just trying everything was a great experience. But honestly, Kyoto was a tourist trap (as with most places). Gion district was cute but you definitely won't find locals hanging there unless they work there. The street will be quiet for 10 minutes, then the next set of tour buses will come, 8 taxis will come and the whole experience walking through the street is kind of ruined. Also, it just felt a bit like...Disneyland. Everything was catered to tourists. I'm not someone who even seeks out places where locals are so you can meet locals as I don't really care that much if I meet a tourist or a local, if it happens it happens, but I'm not obsessed with it. But I somehow just got this feeling that Gion has been warped into a thing for tourists who are sold an "authentic, cultural experience". It reminds me of tourist traps in Vietnam, and maybe I only have this view because I've experienced Vietnam too. Perhaps a non-Asian tourist won't see this and to each their own of course. It didn't really help that there were signs saying don't take photos on private streets, and tourists would stand in front of those signs and start taking photos...
Another take is that the Japan that's shown to you on TV shows, dramas and the news is not the Japan you'll experience (unless you're always a part of a tour group). The media portrays Japan as a nation that is ONLY Japanese people, and that you will only meet Japanese people serving you and that despite a low birth rate, immigration is just not a thing in Japan. This is false. I can't count the number of times where I'll order food, have the cashier speak to me in English and Japanese (because I don't know Japanese), sit down and then hear the cashier and other staff speak Vietnamese. It dawned on me that pretty much all the food service staff were Vietnamese in Osaka and Tokyo. Probably more in other areas if I paid attention more. I started speaking Vietnamese back to them and they were surprised that I knew they were Viet. We made some pleasant conversation and for the most part they liked that someone acknowledged that they were Vietnamese. However, one time, one girl told me not to speak Viet to her or she'll get in trouble. The staff are allowed to speak Vietnamese to each other but not to the customer because the boss didn't want people to know that they weren't being served by Japanese people. Some places were more obvious such as people from Nepal, India or Pakistan working there but spoke perfect Japanese. Some places clearly only hired Vietnamese people because they can pass as Japanese. This was more shocking to me than any culture shock I could have experienced as a Canadian.
I think there's a sense of Japan being a rich nation, aligned with the US, that it's better than places like Vietnam. But after spending some time in both countries, I saw that even buildings were built in a similar way. Narrow staircases, no baseboards, sometimes low ceilings, and businesses stacked on top of each. I loved Japan and like I said, I would go again. But I think I would stick to just to Tokyo and Osaka next time. Both are also very touristy but not in a way that it's disguised as anything else. Osaka Dotonbori is a place to shop. People know that. It's extremely crowded, but you're there to shop, not for a cultural experience. If I were to go elsewhere, I would try Okinawa and maybe a rural experience too. But other than that, I'm someone who goes for the shopping and eating experience and the nightlife. I know some people might not agree with my take, as most subs about traveling to Japan always seem to be finding an authentic Japanese experience. But being able to realize that some people serving you aren't Japanese and that most experiences are waterdown and overpriced tourist experiences, you quickly realize that authentic Japanese experiences (as with any country popular with tourists) are hard to come by.
Edit: I replaced the term expat with immigrant for sensitivity.
Edit 2:
Just to provide more details on my experience that contrasts a lot of what you may find on Reddit.
Cleanliness:
Yes, parts of Tokyo and Japan itself is clean. But I have seen some parts of Toyko with garbage on the ground. Osaka is more obviously dirty if you want to put it that way. More garbage on the street, especially at night. My local friend told me that Japanese people are just good at hiding their litter and when they think no one is watching, they do litter.
Homelessness:
I saw homelessness. In Asakusa where my hotel was, there was one homeless lady on the main street near Don Quitos. I also some when you are walking to Shibuya Scramble Square. It's a big city, I'm sure homelessness is an issue there. I saw a TikTok while I was there about homeless runway children in the Shibuya and Shinjuku area.
Shyness/Attitude:
I was always told that many Japanese wouldn't really want to make small talk with you. But honestly it really depends. I had pink hair and had my nails done with a cute fun design on them. So many cashiers, retail people etc. wanted to compliment my nails and tell me how cute they were. Even leaving Japan, as I was going through security, the security lady complimented my nails as I was placing my liquids and computers in a bin. I also carried around a Sailor Moon tote bag I got from the museum and strangers on the street were stopping me to compliment it. I'm a man and I have my nails done, pink hair and a Sailor Moon tote bag. If you give them a reason to talk to you, they will.
Weak yen:
The best part about clubbing is going to the 7-11 near the gay district alleys, buying cheap alcohol, drinking it with your newly made friends, and then going back into the club to dance some more before doing it again 20 minutes later. Alcohol is so cheap there! 450 yen for a can of Jack Daniels and Coke...that's like $2-3 Canadian. We Canadians usually pay $6 or $8 for a can!
More on fashion:
I tried my best to avoid buying brands I could get in North America but sometimes the exchange rate and no tax was too good. Commes Des Garcon Play sneakers in Canada are $200 before tax. Found a design that isn't available in Canada, no tax and the conversion made them $160. Had to get them. Bought a Dior cardholder that's $480 before tax in Canada. No tax and converted price in Japan turned out to be $390. I say definitely look for the Japanese brands you can't get back home because you'll come back with more unique pieces (even if it's a popular, mass product in Japan) but also if you have your eye on designer pieces, chances are the piece is cheaper in Japan. The only thing I found that Hermes and Chanel were the same price or more expensive in Japan. But other brands like Gucci, Dior, Prada, Burberry and Louis Vuitton were cheaper.
Even Uniqlo is cheaper. The viral bag that people like is $25 in Canada. In Japan it's $13. There was a Golden Week sale that made the bags $8 each.
I did avoid some brands like A.P.C or Diesel (which is everywhere in Japan) because despite it being cheaper, I know when there's a sale on SSENSE it's even cheaper than what you could get in Japan.