I am setting up awesomewm and using Lua and Bash script for the first time. I was able to get this working, so on the one hand it might appeal to other beginners as an accessible project, and on the other this is a good juncture to seek out feedback from those who know better ways. u/digost explained to me about mkfifo yesterday and already that let me do something new in this.
wallpaper can be set up in rc.lua by adding the line awful.spawn.with_shell("feh --bg-scale ~/FILENAME.png"), so if this file is replaced with another png a different wallpaper will load
conky the system monitor is installed from pacman and it can be given its own background by following the installation guide to generate a config file at ~/.config/conky/conky.conf and adding or editing a line to the top of the conky.text section
conky.text = [[ ${image /home/dave/conkies/conkycar.png -p -50,0 -s 450x450}
Where 450x450 is the image size and -50 is an offset to get it to appear in the right place. These small images are about the same size as the cheapest generative-AI option, which I found for fractions of a penny and that's what gave me the idea. I will try not to promote or even mention the particular provider since it is non-Free.
conky configuration is something that some people spend time on as part of ricing. Although a basic process of pulling an image from the internet should stay the same across awesomewm themes, there could be limitless complexity in getting images to reliably visually-cohere. If the conky and the wallpaper come from related prompts into the same Model, then hopefully they can cohere at least sometimes, but for now I've just gone with colour red.
My first step is to create a salt list of theme words. I went to a free/non-passworded chatbot and asked it for a list of words to do with cars and trucks and fire and chrome. These go into a text file with a space at the start of each entry
conkies.top4salt.txt

 Automobile Vehicle Sedan Coupe {etc...} 

These salt words are used to make each generated image slightly different.
First a .json request needs to be generated to a chatbot-type API. This uses a template from their site
conkies.TEXTtemplate

#\bin\bash curl --request POST \ --url PUT THE URL OF THE TEXT-PROVIDER'S API HERE \ --header 'Authorization: Bearer PUT THEIR API KEY HERE \ --header 'Content-Type: application/json' \ --data '{ "max_tokens": 2048, "mode": "python", "model": "icortex-1", "n": 1, "temperature": 0, "text": 

The last field "text" is the prompt, which can be brought in from a separate textfile
conkies.prompt.txt

"A prompt for an artist to design a promotional photograph, of a luxurious red sports car, which must place strong emphasis on:- (1) an Arch, (2) flames, (3) a red background (4)[ 

The " at the start is needed for .json request's format - as can be seen from the other lines. The [ on the end is there as a delimiter but ended up not being used: the API just ignores it.
For this site this is enough to start with. The prompt is set up with a script, which is also used to launch the process once everything is in place:-
conkies.TEXTpromptsetup.sh

#!/bin/bash find . -maxdepth 1 -type p -delete mkfifo conkies.fifo -m 0700 echo $( cat conkies.TEXTtemplate > perl -pi -e 'chomp if eof' echo -n $(cat conkies.prompt.txt) >> echo -n $(shuf -n 1 conkies.topksalt.txt) "," $(shuf -n 1 conkies.topksalt.txt) "," $(shuf -n 1 conkies.topksalt.txt) "\"" "}" "'" >> sh conkies.TEXT-prompter.sh) > conkies.fifo & alacritty -e sh /home/dave/conkies/conkies.IMAGE-promptsetup.sh 

The first line clears any leftover fifo files from previous times the script has run. The main body of this joins the parts of the .json prompt together into a compliant format, in the file conkies.TEXT-prompter.sh The shuf commands pull three salt-words into the prompt. The perl command takes a newline off the end of the conkies.TEXTtemplate which otherwise breaks the format. There are some syntax marks at the end of the file, the " one needs an escape character.
conkies.TEXT-prompter.sh is then run; the data that comes back from the API of the service provider is written into the fifo; and a new shell is opened for the IMAGE prompter.
Hopefully the data that comes back from the API is a prompt. If it's an error-message or the money has run out the resulting images might be very strange!
The IMAGE prompter also has to be set up beforehand. The IMAGE provider I used had a slightly more complex format than the TEXT provider I used, so it had to be made from a start section, the TEXT-prompt, and an end section. The format was on their website and involved some intricacies to do with different Models being compatible with different versions of Lora.
conkies.IMAGEtemplate

#\bin\bash curl -X 'POST' \ 'THE IMAGE-PROVIDER'S URL GOES HERE' > conkies-$(date +"%m_%d_%y_%T").png \ -H THEIR API-KEY GOES HERE \ -H 'accept: */*' \ -H 'Content-Type: multipart/form-data' \ -F 'lora2_strength=.7' \ -F 'lora2=' \ -F 'lora1_strength=.7' \ -F 'prompt= 

example prompt from the TEXT-provider

"The artist should design a promotional photograph of a luxurious sports car, with an arch in the background, surrounded by flames. The car should be in a state of acceleration, with its fenders gleaming and its hubcaps spinning. The flames should be in shades of red, orange, and yellow, and should be emitting sparks. The background should be a deep red." 

conkies.IMAGEtemplate-footer

' \ -F 'width=512' \ -F 'height=512' \ -F 'steps=30' \ -F 'sampler=dpmpp_2m_karras' \ -F 'model=epic_diffusion_1' \ -F 'negative_prompt=ugly, tiling, poorly drawn hands, poorly drawn feet, poorly drawn face, out of frame, extra limbs, disfigured, deformed, body out of frame, blurry, bad anatomy, blurred, watermark, grainy, signature, cut off, draft' \ -F 'upscale=1' \ -F 'seed=4116668295' \ -F 'format=png' \ -F 'guidance=7' \ -F 'lora1=' \ 

These are combined together as follows by the second script:-
IMAGE-promptsetup.sh

#!/bin/bash cat conkies.IMAGEtemplate > perl -pi -e 'chomp if eof' cat conkies.fifo cut -f6 -d":" cut -c 3- rev cut -c 8- rev >> perl -pi -e 'chomp if eof' cat conkies.IMAGEtemplate-footer >> sh conkies.IMAGE-prompter.sh && sh conky-relaunch.sh 

They are launched at the end as conkies.IMAGE-prompter.sh, which downloads a timestamped .png file from the image provider.
and the last script sorts the images and relaunches conky with the most recent.
conky-relaunch.sh

pkill conky mv *.png ~/conkies/conkycars/ && cp -p $(ls -dtr1 "conkycars"/*.png tail -1) ~/conkies/conkycar.png exec conky 

To make wallpaper instead would need to change the image size in the conkies.IMAGEtemplate file and point rc.lua to the folder it's been downloaded into.
To generate a wallpaper and conky background at the same time I think it would be easiest to duplicate everything to another folder, so that the text prompts are not the same.
At the end on an unmodified conky with a free wallpaper from https://www.pixelstalk.net/download-free-arch-linux-background/ it looks like
https://preview.redd.it/iiscm9bifg0d1.png?width=1565&format=png&auto=webp&s=b836c7a6ba3c5df01768e5014d2c3a20ac5601fc
https://preview.redd.it/cbq17sfigg0d1.png?width=1596&format=png&auto=webp&s=72b889bce8fe995ce57a6e4bdd433de4f0c0b505
There are various problems. Any changes to the API will break it but that is in the nature of these things. Both API providers required accounts. With the text-provider I am on some trial limit they have which is more than enough free requests per month to make these conky prompts, but it might be monetized in the future. The image-provider I had to pay for but it's the minimum amount. It might be that the credits expire and my conky becomes a financial commitment. But for this $10 I could generate a lifetime supply of pictures of what AI thinks cars look like... with wing-mirrors only for the passengers :D
From zero-knowledge I've been able to use a named pipe to connect two APIs together, and used bash script to manipulate text into compliant formats for .json requests. I'm becoming conscious that simple tasks have to be broken down into more stages and more files than it initially appears and this becomes messy. I generally have nothing in place to check each script is outputting in the right form, or to give error messages. If I accidentally included one special character in the text prompt, that would break the image output, but if I include any comment lines to warn myself then the script will have to check for those and remove them... so I just have to remember.

LONG POST WARNING
Hello everyone,
My partner (24F) and I (25M) returned home from our 3-week Japan trip last week and due to us using this sub a lot during our planning I thought it would be helpful for other current planners to upload a trip report.
Our main interests are Japanese traditions and history, street style/culture, and food so keep reading if these interests are mutual. Read to the bottom to see how much we spent plus some tips and disappointments.
Prelude
We were caught up in the madness at Dubai airport during our layover. Long story short; Airport (and the rest of Dubai) flooded and caused all the flights to be cancelled. What was meant to be a 5-hour layover turned into a torturous 36 hour wait. No staff to be seen, crowds of people arguing, fighting, and crying. We queued for 12 hours to get a new boarding pass for the next flight to Japan. We were meant to fly to Haneda but settled for Narita as we needed to get out of that place as soon as possible but still ended up missing our first day in Tokyo (should have had 5 days). We can’t complain too much as some of the people I spoke to on emirates were in the airport for up to 5 days before getting a flight back to their departure destination. Oh, and our baggage was missing with us only receiving our checked in bags on day 19. Cheers Emirates.
Day 1
Arrived in Shinjuku around midnight. We went straight to Don Quiojte to buy some replacement cosmetics and clothes. The combination of no good-quality sleep for 48 hours and the stimulating nature of the store was very intense! We then started to walk back towards the hostel and passed a Ichiran, so dropped in for some 2am ramen. Not the best ramen I’ve ever had but was still very good for the price.
Steps: 21,643 (includes some airport steps)
Day 2
Woke up and ate the free breakfast at the hostel (this turned out to be a really good money saver for the whole trip as we are not huge eaters in the morning anyway, but it was good to get something light in us before a long day walking). We then walked through the Shinjuku Gyoen Garden – saw some late blooming cheery blossoms and overall, it was a really beautiful botanical garden.
The next stop was Meji Shrine and a walk through Yoyogi park. The shrine was cool to see, especially as it was our first one in Japan. Saw a middle-aged man wearing denim hotpants so short that his balls were hanging out?!?!
Walked to Shibuya to see the scramble. This was cool but also felt it was a bit underwhelming at ground level but the view from Shibuya station walkway was wicked. Lunch was at a conveyor belt sushi place on the top floor of this department store right next to the scramble. This would be higher than average quality sushi in Europe, so it blew our minds that it was available on the top floor of a department store and for so cheap.
Shimokitazawa – We picked up some bargains at 2^nd street and I treated myself some Japanese jeans from a small Demin shop called Bears. The guy in the shop was super helpful and friendly and even tailored the trousers to exactly my size.
In the evening, we first had a poke around Golden Gai and then headed towards Shibuya and stopped in a cool bar where the owner was mixing vinyl while he mixed your drinks (think it was called Q Bar).
We had previously bought tickets to a gig at Circus for one of my fav rappers who I’d been wanting to see for a while. Also really enjoyed seeing the local Japanese warm up acts. Stayed until 5am and then go the train straight to the Tsukiji outer fish market. Was there way too early and had to wait roughly an hour for thing to open. Went to chill by a bench for a bit and by the time we went back to the market it was rammed! Went to bed around 8:30am.
Steps: 32,159
Day 3
We woke up at 2:30pm, got ready, and headed to the Bunkyo civic centre for the free observation deck. We heard it wasn’t meant to be the best Tokyo skyline view but for a free attraction we thought it was very good! Jimbocho book town was also very cool to see. We had a peak into a couple adult movie/magazine stores where I don’t think the owner appreciated our presence as western tourists.
In the evening, we first went for Ramen at Motenashi Kuraki in Asakusa Bashi. Honestly probably the best Ramen I’ve had to date. I ordered the Black Pepper Shio special, and it blew my mind. Even though the staff didn’t speak English they were very accommodating for my partner who doesn’t eat meat (pescetarian but will brave a meaty broth).
We then had a stroll around Akihabara and played some dance mat games in the arcades before heading back for an earlyish night.
Steps: 28,680
Day 4
I couldn’t sleep so got up around 3am and did some admin stuff to try and get our bags back to us ASAP. Chatted to people in the hostel for a few hours.
We arrived at Senso-ji for around 8am. Wasn’t too busy at this time and the temple was impressive. Went for a coffee down the road and had a chill for about an hour before heading into Asakusa. Got admission to the Drum museum which was wicked. Only 400 yen each and had the whole place to ourselves to smack some big fucking drums and make as much noise as we wanted.
We then started to head towards Ueno but made a slight detour to Kappabashi Dougu street to peruse the Japanese chef knives and other cookware. Grabbed lunch from a 7/11 and went and sat in Ueno park which was super busy. There was some food market event on which loads of food stalls had set up. There was also a stage with some J-pop performers and people dressed as ninjas dancing in the crowd. Weird to say the least. By mid-afternoon we were pretty tired so headed back to the hostel for a nap.
In the evening, we headed down to Harajuku and stopped by Big Love records. My partner is really into vinyl, so this was definitely a highlight for her. She picked up Wu Tang 36 chambers in case you were wondering. We then went for food at Afuri as my partner wanted to try the Vegan ramen to which she said it was ok but nothing special. My cold dipping noodle dish was very tasty, however. We then stumbled across this vinyl listening bar called Bar Music on the 5^th floor of this pokey building on the outskirts of Shibuya for a few drinks before bed. There was such a good vibe in there and the cocktails were super good for the price. If you’re looking for a romantic spot, then this is the place to go.
Steps: 31,818
Day 5
Today we headed to Kyoto on the shinkansen around midday after a slow morning chilling in and around the hostel and catching up on some sleep. Checked in to the hostel and had a walk around downtown Kyoto, stopping at 2^nd Street to buy some more clothes.
In the evening, we headed to Kodai-Ji to see the shrine lit up at night. We couldn’t believe how few people were there as it was stunning and truly magical place to be at night. It also has a bamboo grove (much better than Arashiyama, see below). The bar for Kyoto shrines/temples had been set very high.
Walked down Pontocho alley and stopped at a yakitori restaurant which was just ok. We knew it was going to be average when we looked around the restaurant and it was just western tourists dining.
Steps: 25,255
Day 6
First thing in the morning we rented bikes and cycled across the city to Arashiyama. Parked the bikes at the train station and walked up through Arashiyama. We were expecting it to be busy but there were so many people it was almost impossible to move. Had a look around the bamboo grove and was slightly underwhelmed after our visit to Kodai-Ji so we took the tram and then bus up to Kosan-Ji. This was very much worth the 45-minute journey as there was only one other group there and the temple nestled between the trees overlooking the river was breath-taking. On the whole, Arashiyama was way too packed during peak times to enjoy and with everything else Kyoto has to offer we wouldn’t say it was a must see.
We then picked up the bikes from the train station and cycled back across Kyoto taking the long route to explore and get lost. Once we dropped off the bikes, we went for another explore and this time went into WeGo for more clothes shopping. At this point we’d pretty much matched the amount of clothing that we had packed in our checked-in luggage that was still stuck in Dubai.
After a nap we walked towards the metro and stopped at a Katsu restaurant as we wanted to try something different, and it was pretty good. For the price of 1300 yen each we got so much food/sake and left stuffed.
Fushimi Inari in the evening. Like Kodai-Ji, we would recommend visiting Fushimi Inari at night. Firstly, to help avoid the crowds (we got there around 9pm and there was hardly anybody there) and secondly as seeing it lit up at night is a nice change. It was however slightly creepy at night, especially as it was lightly raining. My partner started to get a bit scared once we saw the signs to be careful of the wild boar and monkeys haha. We didn’t make it to the top of Mt Inari as the rain started to get heavy but still very much enjoyed walking through the hundreds of tori gates, stopping off at the shrines and soaking up the history.
Steps: 23,686
Day 7
Today was a late start as even after 8 hours sleep the 25k plus steps a day was starting to catch up with us.
We took the metro to Shimogamo Shrine in north Kyoto. It was very peaceful and quiet however temple fatigue had definitely set in at this point. We then walked through Kyoto to the beginning of Philosophers path. We had seen on this sub that people recommend skipping it unless its Sakura season however we disagree. The path along the river is so pretty and atmospheric, along with the fish gently swimming along in the river.
Kyoto Hand Crafts Centre – if you have the money then this is a great place to pick up souvenirs.
Pre-booked Sushi Iwa for a 15 course Omakase. The food was amazing, but it came to an eye watering 28k yen each. The difference for our western palettes between mid-range sushi and exceptional sushi is negligible. Nonetheless it was a good experience and I’m glad that we did it.
Steps: 23,751
Day 8
Today was an empty day in terms of things we wanted to do, so used it to walk the city and explore.
We checked out the Nishiki market and ate various fried foods on sticks which were all pretty tasty. We then walked northwards, stopping for coffee before reaching the imperial palace. By this point we were very much bored of temples and structures of similar architecture, but we actually ended up enjoying walking the palace grounds and seeing the buildings more than we thought and would recommend it to those who find themselves in north Kyoto.
A leisurely walk back down towards downtown Kyoto, stopping off at a wicked standing soba joint. Forgotten the name but their curry soba was delicious.
Chao Chao gyozas (only veggie gyoza place we could find) for our evening meal before a night cap at the bar across the road before bed.
Steps: 23,304
Day 9
Shinkansen to Hiroshima arriving around 11am.
Checked into hostel and then went straight to the A-dome, peace memorial and museum. We thought the museum was very moving and captured the horror of the events that unfolded very well. A must see for sure.
Okonomiyaki at Okonomimura and then some vintage clothes shopping in Hondori.
Went back out for food in the evening and ended up getting Okonomiyaki again. This time it we enjoyed it a lot more than we did at lunch (probably because we got it covered in cheese). There are a few streets by Hiroshima station with lots of bars and restaurants on top of each other, much like Golden Gai in Shinjuku, however they are not super touristy and has a more laid-back feel to them.
We then went to some bars in the city centre. The best one we stumbled across was called Tropical Bar Revolucion. It was on the 8^th floor and the smoking balcony overlooked the city. Plus, the beers in there tasted so good and I’m not sure why.
Steps: 23,299
Day 10
A hungover morning. Headed to the Hiroshima National Gardens. Going to some gardens is my go-to hangover activity as its low effort, relaxing, and feels productive. These gardens in particular were great and we really appreciated the signs explaining the history behind the space. Overall, we enjoyed this more than the national gardens in Shinjuku.
Public baths near Dobashi in the afternoon. If you’re feeling brave enough to get your kit off in front of 10s of strangers, then this is a good experience. Male and female baths are separate. Can’t go wrong for 400 yen.
Went for a drink at Bar Pretty and then realised the effect of golden week on trying to get a table walking into a restaurant. Walked around for about an hour with no success so settled for food from a department store food court. Sounds miserable but the food was pretty good for the price, and it was busy in there, so it still had an atmosphere.
Steps: 29,487
Day 11
Miyajima Day. Took the ferry to the island arriving at 10:30am. The Ryokan staff met us at the port and collected our bags to take back to the hotel.
Had a mooch around the port area before doing the hike up Mt Misen. The climb to the top on a hot day is not to be underestimated. Sweating buckets, but the route and the view from the top was amazing and one of the standout highlights of the whole trip.
After descending Mt Misen, we bought some beers, oysters and, ice cream and sat along the beach wall and chilled in the sun for a couple hours. The hotel staff then picked us up from the ferry terminal, we checked in and went straight to the Onsen for a couple hours before dinner. Dinner was a traditional kaiseki meal (with more courses than I can remember) served in the banquet hall with the other guests.
While the staff converted our retro ryokan room and set up the futons we had a few more beers before bed.
Steps: 20,803
Day 12
Today we had a chilled morning on the island, having a stroll and stopping for some coffees. We then took the ferry back to Hiroshima, stopping for Okonomiyaki one more time, before taking the shinkansen to Osaka.
Checked into our hostel near Namba and went out for a walk around 8pm. When looking for somewhere to eat we walked past a sign for a vegetarian Indian restaurant called Shama. After nearly two weeks of pure Japanese food we were craving some variety so decided to head in. Located on the basement floor of a particularly run down looking building the restaurant was not the most glamorous. Barely enough space for 10 people, it was hot in there. A constant stream of people was coming in and out of the restaurant and we were lucky enough to walk in when there were two spaces available. From sitting down at the table to receiving our food we waited just under an hour. This would be enough to put most people off but fuck me the food was good when it did finally arrive. We got a selection of 4 different curries, naan breads and samosa. We left stuffed. If you’re in the area this is definitely a place worth checking out.
Steps: 25,502
Day 13
Our first stop of the day was the Umeda Sky Building. Not suitable if you are scared of heights as the glass elevator made our stomachs drop slightly. The views were impressive but we thought the price was a bit steep at 1500 yen each.
We then spent the afternoon wondering about near Namba and Shinsujibashi dropping into shops and picking up some food.
For dinner we made a reservation for a Mexican restaurant near Dotonbori. Massive margheritas, nachos and enchiladas. The food was great, and it shows by how busy the place was still at 10pm. It had been open since the late 70’s with the décor to match and it had a great atmosphere.
Steps: 27,290
Day 14
Checked out Tsuruhashi and Korea Town. Loved the market – dimly lit maze of numerous food and clothing vendors. Stopped to have some Korean stew and pancakes and it was delicious. One of the best meals of the trip.
Shinsekai in the evening. What I can describe as the armpit of Osaka. We loved it. Dirty? Yes. Rowdy? Yes. Rough around the edges with a red light district to top it all off. We had Kushikatsu to finish the evening off. Fried stuff on a stick – of course it going to be tasty but it wasn’t exactly flavour town.
Steps: 23,777
Day 15
Took the train to Minoh and hiked up the trail to see the waterfall. Hike was easy in comparison to Mt Misen and the waterfall was very cool to see. Had a wonder around Minoh stopping for some lunch at a Ramen bar.
We went to the Team lab botanical gardens in the evening. It was very awe inspiring seeing all the installations lit up.
After sampling Japanese McDonalds (I had a burger where the buns were made out of rice) we went for some drinks at Zerro. We liked this bar a lot, the guys working there were very friendly and it had a good vibe.
We then sat and watched the skaters at triangle park with some beers from the konbini before going to see Dj Masda at Circus until around 4am. This area of Osaka was such a vibe and came back here a few times over our 6 days here. Overall, a very fun evening.
Steps: 26,130
Day 16
Woke up chronically hungover but powered on and went to see a baseball game. You’re allowed to bring food and drink into the stadium (as long as alcohol is in plastic/paper cups) so we grabbed some beers and snacks from family mart. We had no idea what was happening but the atmosphere was electric and we enjoyed getting pissed and cheering.
Had a nap and then went to Hafez for middle eastern food. The food was good but not amazing, nothing in comparison to my local middle eastern restaurant back home. Chilled around the Namba park/Big step area. Loved this area so much, we are big into street fashion and culture so this place really ticked some boxes. Lots of skaters and street wear stores concentrated around here. Got an early night watching Battle Royale back at the hostel.
Steps: 22,065
Day 17
Today we went to the Umeda area. Popped into some shopping centres and had Omurice for lunch. It was tasty but not something I will crave when back home. Good experience trying it though. We then walked through Yodoyobashi along the rivers and got gelato and sat in the rose garden. The sun was beating down and we enjoyed just chilling in the sun eating our ice cream.
Compufunk Records were holding a party in their store. Decent gaff with some very welcoming and kind people to party with until the early hours.
Steps: 21,267
Day 18
We reluctantly left Osaka for Hakone today. Very sad to go but onwards to the next adventure. Took the shinkansen to Odawara and then the Hakone Tozan Train to Gora. Checked into our Ryokan and relaxed in the Onsen for a few hours.
Went for a walk around Gora and had dinner at the Ryokan before watching Predator in bed.
Steps: 16,926
Day 19
Today we did the Hakone Loop, starting early in Gora.
Started with the Open-air museum and it was great. We loved the installation and ended up spending 3 hours slowly making our way round. Got some cool photos as well for the gram.
Ropeway to Lake Ashi. This was absolutely terrifying. You have to swap cable cars 3 times on the way over and the warnings of the service being suspended due to the wind was announced at each stop. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but one section made me literally freeze in terror due to the winds outside so try to do it on a calm weather day.
We then took the pirate boat (bit underwhelming) across the Lake and stopped for some soba noodles and a wander around. Unfortunately it was way too cloudy to even get a chance at seeing Mt Fuji.
Train to Kamakura and checked into our super cute traditional hostel near the beach.
Dinner at an Izakaya from the hostel owners recommendation. Food great and beers slipped down a treat. First time I tried Yuzu Kosho as well – I’m now addicted to the stuff and literally cover all my food with it.
Steps: 19,512
Day 20
A slow start to the morning. Weather was pretty bad but we still managed to hit all the main sights in Kamakura. Big Buddha was a refreshing sight from the temples. Did some shopping up Komachi Dori. Highlight of the day was Hukokaji temple. It was so peaceful and zen in the rain with its very own matcha tea ceremony backdropped by bamboo forest. This turned out to be our second favourite temple/shrine we visited, just being beaten by Kodaji.
In the evening we went for Sushi at a conveyor belt place. Figured this would probably be my last Japanese sushi of the trip so devoured 7000 yen worth of sushi and beer. Went back to the hostel and invited some of the other guests to drink with us. The owner of the hostel had some bayberry homebrew, so we got stuck into that.
Steps: 20,494
Day 21
Enoshima Island is just a 25 min train from Kamakura. Started off the day by walking to the top of the island to get French toast and a beer with a lovely view across the bay. We then headed up the Sea candle to check out the observation deck, still the illusive Mt Fuji hides behind the clouds.
We then bought admission to the caves beneath the island which was pretty cool. I won’t ruin the surprise but there’s something waiting for you at the end of one of the caves.
Had an explore around the rockpools near the caves and took some cool photos. We then had a pizza with fish on which was pretty crazy. Walked around the island a little bit more and I picked up some more Japanese denim which wasn’t the cheapest but the quality of the trousers are great and will last me a lifetime.
Back to Tokyo in the evening.
Went for Izakaya around Asakusa and popped into a couple bars. One was called Not Suspicious and the whole bar was covered in handwritten notes by patrons. Very touristy but quite cool at the same time. Our favourite was a drawing of Mario saying It’s a Me Muthafucka.
Steps: 25,903
Day 22
First stop was Don Quiojte to pick up some Yuzu Kosho (if you know you know) and weird flavoured KitKats.
Kappabashi Dougu street to purchase a fine Japanese carbon stell Santoku. Honestly in love with this knife so much. The people at the store were very happy to hear exactly what I was looking for and even let me try before you buy on some daikon radish.
While in Asakusa I had to return to the place where I put the best thing in my mouth in Japan. Motenashi Kuroki. Switched it up this time and had their classic Shio ramen plus the duck rice as a side. Honestly this place is amazing, and you have to go there if you have time. They aren’t veggie/pescy friendly so my partner went for one last round of sushi round the corner. We met up at a massage chair parlour and spent 30 mins relaxing in the chairs.
We had a bright idea to watch the sunset one last time so headed over to the rooftop park on a department store in Shibuya. Sipping on an ice cold Kirin, the sun slowly dropped behind the distant mountains and we knew our trip had come to an end. How symbolic.
Flight at 11pm from Haneda.
Steps: 23,187
On reflection:
I honestly think this trip was almost perfect in terms of hitting our interests and travel style. There was a good balance of doing the typical first time visit to Japan sights and activities while still exploring and seeing what we came across in the moment.
It hard to pinpoint exact highlights of the trip as everywhere we visited had so much going for it in different ways. We loved the rugged and trendy vibe to Osaka, and I think this would be the city I would most want to live in for a considerable amount of time (If I had to choose). Miyajima was also stunning and a great overnight trip with the Ryokan experience. We also underestimated how much we would enjoy Kamakura with its laid-back surfer vibe and access to Enoshima Island.
One random memorable moment that has stuck with me was when we landed at Narita airport, we took the limo bus to Shinjuku. As the driver pulled away, all the staff at the station turned and bowed in unison. It felt so special to first observe a culture totally opposite to the one I grew up with and was at this point I knew I had embarked on the trip of a lifetime.
If I could go back and change something I would probably miss out Hakone and do an extra day in one of the major cities. This isn’t because we didn’t enjoy Hakone, but we feel like it’s a place that needs more time to soak in what’s going on around you (plus the weather was bad when we were there). This being said the Open-Air Museum was amazing and we enjoyed it more than the Teamlab botanical gardens so the trip up the mountains was worth it just for that.
So, how much did we spend per person (not inc flights)?
Accommodation - £765pp
Given that we spent a couple nights in Ryokans raising the average price slightly, we were pretty happy with the accommodation costs. We stayed in a mix of private room and shared dorm hostels and pretty much all of them were spot on. Travelling as a couple meant that anywhere with a private room split the price between 2. The only hostel we didn’t like was the one in Hiroshima, there wasn’t anything in particularly wrong with it, there was just a really bad vibe from the owner and other guests.
Transport - £344pp
This includes shinkansen to and from all the major cities as well as our suica top ups for metros and buses. Unless your itinerary is something like 3 days Tokyo, 2 days Osaka 2 days Kyoto then there really isn’t any point getting the JR pass now that the price has increased.
Activities – £280pp
It is hard to give an exact amount for activities and food as 1) I didn’t track what we spent our cash on and 2) my partner and I would take in turns paying for things like temple admission. That being said I’ve allocated 25% of the cash we spent to activities such as temple admission. Activities includes our baseball tickets plus club entries as well as temple and museum admissions etc.
Food – £962pp
As above, its hard to give an exact amount for food. On the whole we tried to eat cheap with possible, especially at the start of our trip. There were a few expensive meals peppered in plus we ate out twice a day towards the end of our trip as we realised we were under budget.
The total is a bit skewed as this includes all the alcohol we bought in bars as well as the konbini trips for beers and cigarettes. I estimate that booze accounts for around a third of the total per person. If you would like to do Japan on a budget, reducing the booze will make a big difference.
Shopping/Souvenirs/Gifts – £607 (just me)
We went hard with the shopping. We didn’t actually receive our checked in luggage until day 19 so we had to buy all new clothes and cosmetics. If this wasn’t the case, then I don’t think I would have spent so much (airline is comping us for the additional clothing bought anyway). I also bought a fairly expensive chef knife and Japanese denim pieces, plus lots of gifts for friends and family. Obviously, this number could theoretically 0 if you are on a serious budget and did no shopping but I really underestimated Japanese shopping, especially thrifting. Also, given our cheap choices when it came to accommodation we could afford to splurge. However just to note my partner spent less than half than I did on shopping.
Total: £2958 (582,628 yen at time of writing)
I kept within my budget of £3000. I definitely got a bit frivolous with the cash in the last few days or so, if being as careful as I was towards the start of the trip, I think the total would be closer to £2500.
Disappointments
Takoyaki. We thought it was going to be all about the octopus but were disappointed with our balls of sloppy goo surrounding tiny chewy pieces of octopus. We tried it twice and couldn’t get behind it. Sorry Takoyaki fans.
Arashiyama. Way too busy, especially around the main station and bamboo grove. If it’s the bamboo you are going to see, then Kodaji is a much better spot.
Dotonburi. Albeit we were there in golden week, and it was pretty busy. However, I get the feeling this area has fallen to the past its golden days title and has become a bit of a cash cow for places selling spiralised potatoes on a stick. The area around Namba park was a better option for us.
Tips
Konbini. Absolute life saver for snacks and drinks on the go. The food quality for a convenience store is higher than most other countries so we had no problem with grabbing a meal from one to help keep within our budget.
Don’t over pack – even though we didn’t get our checked in bags, I still packed light so had plenty of space to bring stuff back. Emirates give you your allowance by weight rather than number of baggage so we could check in additional bags on the way back.
Don’t be scared of hostels. If you don’t want to brave the shared dorms, then most hostels offer private rooms with just the shower and toilet shared. Obviously, it’s cheaper if there are two people sharing a room.
Don’t stress about cash. Most places take debit/credit card and if they don’t, you’re never more than 5 minutes from a konbini ATM.
For us, golden week didn’t seem that big of an issue. No problems booking shinkansen around GW. We spent most of GW in Osaka, as such it was going to be busy anyway so maybe we didn’t see much of a difference from normal numbers in the spring.

My girl is 9.5 months old. I started offering purées 1 time per day at 6 months old and 2 times per day since 8 months old. I have only recently started BLW as she isn’t super interested in purées anymore (even when she was interested - at most she was eating 4 oz total per day).
My girl isn’t really eating much - maybe one tsp total. Yesterday, I made her brown rice porridge with coconut milk and date with banana on the side and for her second meal potato with Greek yogurt and more rice porridge but I added some Greek yogurt.
I am feeling discouraged and like we are “behind” as I cannot imagine her eating three full meals and snacks in a couple months.
I also watch too many BLW videos on YouTube of babies younger than her who slam food.
Just looking for solidarity or advice.

hey, this is my first reddit post and i'll try to be as precise as possible and not prolong this too much.so sorry for grammar mistakes or if this seems chaotic i really don't know where else to turn.
so it all started before i was born. my mom is a woman raised where i was raised as well and my dad came from a country near by due to war. my mom was raised by an abusive mom (my abusive grandma) and by an absent dad(my grandpa was working a lot in the US). my dad was raised by okish parents, his dad died of lung cancer which is a thing my dad never overcame, and my grandma was a teacher who was strict but my dad has a lot of siblings so i guess they managed.
my mom has a brother who is older then her and is a successful businessman. my dad is the oldest of them 4, and is a teacher as well.
my mom and dad met bc of my dad being a teachers assistant and my mom going to his lessons. he is 7 yrs older then my mom so its not as weird as it sounds. eventually they started dating and got me in March of 2000. they divorced in 2006. officially, and were not together since 2004.
so early on i was in care of my abusive mom. she was emotionally and physically abusive from my first memory since 2014. when i decided to run away from "home" forever. i never had a place to call home. my moms place was always cluttered and i could not get any privacy o relax for a second or she would loose her shit. she was diagnosed with depression and cancer in 2017. and that crushed her to a spiraling depression and led me to be forever scared. my mom was so abusive that i had to put foundation on to cover bruises when i was 9 or 10. she called me a slut, garbage, a failure, a bitch etc. all of that stuck to me till this day. i was a straight A student but if i were to get B or god forbid B- i was punished in front of my friends, my relatives or at home. NOBODY SEEMED TO CARE. but everybody knew.
my dad had a very good job at the time. he had quite a bit of money so he'd send some to my mom to spend on me but now remembering i cant say that i remember her spending that amount on me. also i had no concept of money. i was a child. then i hit the age of 10\11 and developed some idea that this was not normal. so every time my mom would harm me i would find a way to call my dad and be crying and begging him to come and get me. i loved my dad the most back then. he would always brush it off or say we'll go to grandmas this weekend but it was only Wednesday so will i survive till then? but it didnt matter i trusted that man with my life.
and so after endless sleepless nights (thats why im short btw) and the never ending abuse, my dad would randomly show up and pick me up from like kinder garden or school like a was some kind of a cute lil pet. and not just that! he would buy me that one thing i wanted as all kids i think at least, have that one thing they like. so he'd buy it for me. and we would go to Mc Donalds since my mom forbid me that kind of food (i was a model and played flute so i ate only small amount of usually boiled rice and fish). so based on all this my dad was a superhero. i loved that man so much.
i forgot to mention but, i was in a mental institution since my dads wife is a doctor and a bitch so she thought it was a good idea to lock me up with seriously dangerous kids and make me stay there for 20 days till it was claimed that i am ok, just has a teenage behavior. i think i will never forgive them for that. im not sure but i think it was 2016.
until October of 2014. i decided to end this vicious cycle. my mom was hitting me and i had enough. i punched back. hard. and i ran through that door like my dad did and never looked back. mom and dad were looking for me for the whole night since i didnt grab my phone while all this was happening. i didnt care. i was with a guy who ended up to be the love of my life and would be killed by his friend in 2018.
after all of this i started to realize i was not small and vulnerable as i was before. so i started to live on the streets. i didnt eat, sleep or shower at home. sometimes i would sleep in front of peoples doors in buildings. i started to fail school. and again it was all my fault. my whole life was my fault. always.
one day my dad had enough since he was always looking for me and not sleeping. so he decided to put me in a campus while im in high school. thats not rly common over here btw. so i went. and i was mad since 150km from my hometown was a lot and my bf(that dude i talked abt already) was in jail so i felt like i was in jail too. i was bullied a lot. and s/harassed. my parents have no idea abt this tho.
so 2018. rolles up. my mom has survived cancer, my dad is proud cuz i graduated and everything seems to be fine. but it rly wasnt. as i mentioned my bf was k!lled that summer(a few days before his birthday) so i was completely alone now. i had some relationships but they didnt matter at all. i was and maybe still am, dead inside.
after that summer i came back to my hometown. this time my dad has planned for me to stay at my grandmas since shes far away from the city center and also has a whole house to her. thats when i developed a bunch of mental disorders, had my first panic attack, went to the hospital o the daily bases, was harassed on the street and had to seek help from a psychiatrist again. only this time i found out that i had depression and this and that and the other. after months of trying to figure out what is wrong with me my latest dr said that it was cptsd and anxiety and since then i have never been the same.
i have had recently an epileptic seizure as well so i am now 10x more terrified of the world. i cant go anywhere without really preparing for it. i was paralyzed for months and suddenly i live w my now boyfriend who doesn't understand shit, have parents who aren't capable of helping led alone love, and with a few friends. and a mean like 3 friends.
i feel so bad. i feel like i don't want to live anymore. please help me im too embarrassed to talk to anyone.
tnx if u read

Here are the goodies.

I am excited about the butter. It's dairy free, and you can't tell the difference for most of the baked goods I make!

Total: $19.84

Coupons: None!

Total Cash Back: $20.45

Final Cost: -$0.61 - Money Maker

 
Here is the complete break down and sites used. The stores are listed in the breakdown image. I don't include sites that take any receipt on my breakdown.
Note: Individual deals vary by user for most apps. If you don't have the deals right now, you can try checking back later.
 
My Guides

1. All rebate apps/sites I use and/or know about
   
2. How I do my hauls
   
3. Beginners guide to using rebate apps/sites - for those who don't know where to start
   

 
If you aren't interested in this kind of thing, please keep your comments to yourself. If you don't like what I buy, you can buy different products. If you don't like hunting for deals, you can do surveys, microtasks, games or whatever else you like instead. There is no need to discourage other users just because you aren't interested in the same things!
 
If you don't need feminine hygiene products, toothpaste, soaps, etc - consider donating them to your local women's shelter, church, or school!
 
Some Additional Deals

• Stem Fly Trap Starter Kit - Money maker after IB + SB
  
• $10 back on 7 Kellogg's Products (specific products only) - Military Commissaries only - Refund is a digital gift card (includes Prepaid visa - view the website for all the options) - Expires 5/31/24 - (Thanks to u/Kicker774 for mentioning it!)
  
• Nature Valley Wafer or Breakfast Bars (specific products) - Free after Rebate - PayPal or Venmo - Void in CT, RI, ND, and Miami Dade County - Expires 8/31/24
  
• Nature Valley Lunch Box Bars, Mott's Baked Bars, Fiber One Donuts (specific products) - Free after Rebate - PayPal or Venmo - Void in CT, RI, ND, and Miami Dade County - Expires 8/31/24
  
• Fresh Fizz - Free can at Fresh Thyme - Venmo or PayPal
  
• Painterland Sisters Yogurt - Free at Whole Foods (PA, VA, MD, DC) - Venmo or PayPal
  
• Pepsi - Free after Rebate. Expires 6/17/24
  
• Tru Water - Free can at Walmart - Venmo or PayPal
  
• Cheesecake Factory GC - $10 bonus card when you buy a $50 one - Expires 5/12
  
• Fromm Diner Can - Free after coupon. (It's pet food)
  
• Painterland Sisters Yogurt - Free after rebate. PayPal or Venmo. Whole Foods only.
  
• Beneful - IB + SK
  
• Suja Protein Shake - Free at Target in-store or online.
  
• Coffee (Any?) - You get a coupon for up to $10 in free coffee when you buy 3 participating special K cereals. I don't see anything mentioned about specific brands, but I also don't quite know how it works. - Expires 5/30/24
  
• Gooey - Free after rebate - Venmo/PayPal - (It says Walmart at the top, but it also says "from any store")
  
• Perfect Bar - One free bar - PayPal, Venmo, Amazon - Rebates are often instant
  
• CHKP - Free after Aisle - Fairway, Whole Foods, ShopRite
  
• Dr Elsey's Cat Litter - Up to $22 back on a bag up to 40 lbs when you purchase at Target, Walmart, or a local business pet store. You need to cut out the barcode and mail it in with the receipt. One rebate per person/household/address. Must submit within 90 days. There's also a handful of $1 coupons on this page.
  
• Free bag of Like Air Puffcorn - Refund via PayPal or Venmo. Must purchase in-store or for curbside pickup. Expiration date unknown.
  
• Kellogg's Promotions - Various stuff ranging from coupons for free products, movie tickets, various merchandise, and more.
  
• Various Sampoll offers
  
• Offers on Aisle Referrals: Halfday Rockstar - Buy 2 get $5 back. No gas purchase needed. Can do every other week. Free HOP Water (using my ref will give me another rebate offer) Pays out via PayPal or Venmo
  
• Various freebies on Ibotta.
  
• Various deals I've done in previous weeks can still be done.
  

 

Afterthoughts

Small haul for a small bonus today. I put together that part of the haul last night, and once I saw the $5 / 10 bonus, I completely forgot to check every other app, haha. Technically a slight profit loss meeting my IB bonus today, but that's okay because I'm making progress towards my bigger bonus. If I were to prorate that bonus, that'd be an extra $4.52, so it's definitely worth it.
 
My Beneful finally stopped resetting, unfortunately. Hopefully the Mac a Roni and butter keep resetting. I was going to get a couple other things too just to work towards my big bonus, but my store was out. I'll be going out of town later this week, so maybe I'll get lucky and find some good deals at stores that aren't around here.
 

Time Spent

I glanced at IB last night for like 5-10 minutes. I was planning to finish planning the haul today, but I didn't need to find any more deals. I was in the store for 50 minutes today, which included my regular shopping as well as browsing through the plants and clearance aisles.
 

Food From Deals

Here's an idea: Mix up a white cheddar Mac a Roni, with your choice of ham, sausage, chicken, pork, or one of the vegan meat alternatives. Add a little soy sauce, and some green peas if you wish. You could even add some extra butter and milk (or plant based milk) to make it a bit creamier. Serve with a slice of buttered toast or some Jasmine Rice. Perhaps make a little Banana bread for dessert. (Note: Everything mentioned has Ibotta deals available.)
 
Here's some things I've made in the past: High Protein Tomato Crackers, Hot Sausage Cups, Peanut Butter Fudge & Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge, Chocolate Cherry Pie
 
Do you guys want me to continue showing things I've made using ingredients I got from rebate apps on these posts? Let me know in the comments, or you can vote on this poll if you want to remain anonymous.
 

Mini FAQ

• If you're new or confused - check out the guides near the top of the post. They go into detail about everything.
  
• I'm from the USA and these posts are tailored as such, but this post of mine does list things from other countries that I know about.
  
• My posts are tailored to being money makers to suit this subreddit. There are tons of great deals that aren't money makers but can still save you a lot of money.
  
• A lot of what I get is given away to friends, family or is donated. I do this more as a hobby than anything.
  
• I generally do not share my spreadsheet since the one shown in this post is not the one I actually use (it's put together with a script from my usual spreadsheet) and there are a ton of little things that will give you wrong values if you don't know about them and even then you have to be careful. It's super easy to make a spreadsheet with Google Sheets though.
  

Disclaimer: I have to shorten the words on this one because the chapter had gone on for to long and stole the word count limit. Every person in this section has my deepest and most sincere thanks for the art, memes, and love they have shown my series.
Thank you to: for proofreading, editing, and this art. Check his fic here!
u/Talentlessfurry for this art.
u/Roddcherry for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew.
u/everyveryever for this art.
u/Emotion-Senior for the meme.
u/Orphandestroyer99 for the comic and art.
u/abrachoo for the meme.
u/guaiwutongzhi for the art.
u/United_Patriots for the art.
u/migulehove for the art(s).
u/aMANTEIGAdo for the art.
u/SlimyRage for the art.
Thank you to each and every one of these amazing people!
CW: Accidental Substance Abuse
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Kolshian Scientist and Self-Proclaimed “Gamer God”
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136
The elevator ride took a lot longer than I would have liked, my excitement and anticipation making it difficult to stand still. Ada’s room was almost at the top floor of the building — along with those of the other members of my herd — making it take a bit longer to get to than most of the other Humans’ I’ve visited while here.
Seems they are keeping the various tribes in their own groups. The fourth floor has the Germans, French, Polish, and Austrians, with a few Danes and Swedes mixed in. I wonder if they did that to keep the different tribes from fighting with ones they don’t like? Doubtful really, everyone seems to get along well enough, disregarding a couple jabs here and there. Probably just makes geographical sense to put them together.
My pondering was broken with a soft ding of the old elevator doors opening. I stepped out of the elevator quickly and took in my surroundings. There were very few humans milling about the quiet halls as they went about their business. One human with comfy-looking pelts had noticed me step out of the elevator and had frozen where they stood. After a short, yet still uncomfortably awkward moment, I gave a wave with one of my upper appendages and walked down a different hall.
A few moments later, I pulled out my pad to look at the message Sindre sent me.
Room 441, hailey and i went to get some stuff for the sesh. ada will be there in a bit. see you soon, {censored}
From: Sindre(Human)
I quickly typed out my own message.
Thank you! I’ll meet you there!
From: Me
Stowing the pad, I made my way there. Along the way I encountered several more Humans, each of which having some sort of reaction to my presence. Mostly just freezing in place or casting glances at me as I walked by. Some of them recognized me, either from when we baked together, or when I was in the rec room when the news dropped and gave me a wave in return. There was one case though when a Terran exited their room, saw me, and let out a noise I can only describe as a squeal before diving back into their room.
That last one confused me to no end, as I had never seen that reaction from a human before. I considered knocking on the door before thinking better of it and continuing down the hall to my destination.
How curious… I'll have to ask Ada about that human and why they ran away from me... Heh, prey scaring predators. Not so long ago, such a concept would’ve been seen as the ultimate goal, any real-world examples derided as only that of a dreamer’s fallacy, and yet now… I don’t think I like the idea so much…
I made a mental note to apologize to them if we ever meet again and kept walking, this time with my form hunched and my pace a little faster than before so I could avoid bothering the Terrans as much. It seemed to work, and the humans seemed to look away a little faster than they had previously.
Arriving at Ada’s door, though, I composed myself as best I could, straightening my back and taking a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door a few times, only for it to open a slight amount. Cocking my head in confusion, I listened to the slight groaning of the hinges before I gently pushed it the rest of the way, the door creaking loudly in resistance.
The room smelled of wax and freshly harvested Othll bark, like I had just walked into the home improvement aisle of a store. Walking further inside showed me the source of the smell, which was a set of candles sitting on top of a nightstand in the corner… next to a fire alarm with the battery taken out.
That’s a little concerning… that can’t be safe at least. I should tell her to put it back in when I see her… wherever she is.
Looking around the room some more showed it to be quite unkempt, with pelts and other junk laying strewn haphazardly across the floor. Personal knick-knacks and picture frames sat on shelves and tables around the room, making the places feel a lot more homely than the other rooms I’d been in. A large TV sat on the other side of the room across from the bed, which had been recently used, going by the blanket on the floor and the pillows tossed about. Against the wall next to the bed was a large couch that had clearly seen better paws, the top layer peeling heavily and scattering the little bits of plastic covering everywhere.
Sitting next to the TV appeared to be some sort of Terran gaming console, complete with bright colors plastered across its many faces and with several different wires coming out of it. Far more than there should be, since part of the case it was in had been smashed to fit more cabling into. Tools, used wires, and broken plastic laid scattered next to the patchwork job.
Seems they really did modify it. Makes sense, since I doubt it would normally work on our systems at all… we should really put that fire alarm back in…
Just as I started walking over to inspect it, my lower tentacle caught something soft on one of the suckers. Looking down showed it to be one of the chest pelts Ada had been wearing the paw I met her. Closer inspection showed the whole floor was covered in discarded pelts, including some I had never seen before!
I let out a sigh as I looked around at the mess… I hope she doesn't mind if I cleaned up a bit.
And that's exactly what I did as I waited for my host to return. It did not take long for me to find the garbage can and hamper she used for her used pelts. While I worked though the piles, I took note of the stranger clothes I saw. Most of them were the regular chest pelts that I’d seen every human wear, but others were completely unique or otherwise somehow unusual.
One such example was what I can only describe as some sort of winter gear? It had a very intricate design on the front made of lace and a very soft interior made of a kind of purple fabric. What made it even more strange was that I found several of these scattered around the room, meaning that she was wearing these pretty regularly too!
Hmmm… perhaps it is meant to keep their ears warm? That would explain the strap on the back, as it would be meant to go under their chin. That doesn’t explain why she would be using it though, and to have so many! It must get cold in here when the A/C kicks in, I guess. This place is really old after all.
Either way, they went into the hamper. I left the tools where they were, in case they belonged to different people, but everything else went straight into the trash. The whole process was pretty exhausting, but the room ended up looking much nicer than it had before!
Just as I finished bagging up the garbage can, the door gave a loud creak as Ada stepped in wearing some pretty comfortable-looking pelts similar to the ones she had been wearing a few paws ago, pink prey head slippers and all.
A few {seconds} pass as she starts pulling out clear totes full of what I assume to be her things before I break out of my confusion and flick her a tail wave.
“Hey Ada! Whe-”
“AAAAHHH!!!”
She screamed as she stumbled onto her back, causing me to drop the bag and jump in fright. We stared at each other for a moment before Ada spoke up.
“Nov’?! What the fuck are you doing in here?! You weren't… ya Allah, you scared the crap out of me!”
My arms and tentacles raised up in a pleading gesture after I realized what I did. “S-sorry! I-I thought you would see me! And Sindre said to meet you here? F-for the games?”
Ada took a few more moments to calm down on the floor, but eventually, she stood up and took a few breaths. “You’re fine, squiddie… Sindre didn’t mention how close you were so… oh well, doesn't matter I guess. Uh, what’s in the bag you got there? Also… where are all of my clothes?”
At her observation, I picked up the trash bag and held it up for her to see. “Well… your room was a bit of a mess, a-and you were gone, so I did a bit of… cleaning? Nothing major, just throwing away some trash and putting the pelts in the hamper.”
“Oh, well, thanks Nov. I was gonna get to that befor-” Suddenly she stops herself mid-sentence. Her eyes widen as she casts her forward-facing gaze over to the pelts’ bin.
For some reason, the human's usual light brown features darken considerably with a crimson bloom. Ada turned to look at me, and I gave my best happy expression I could muster to put her at ease. This time, the human's face twisted into an obvious forced snarl before she gave up, running a hand down her face.
“Novel, j-just a heads up for the future, it’s considered rude to go through someone's room and touch their… pelts without permission. They are, um, quite personal belongings, and we don’t let other people touch certain ones. Fuck, uh, don’t tell the other two about this either. It would be, eugh…” Ada’s snarl gets larger as she looks back to the hamper, the crimson still blooming across her face. My tail flicked curiously as I looked between her and the pelt basket.
How peculiar… Hailey seemed just fine with dumping all sorts of pelts on me when she was showing them off. Perhaps that's because she studies it, so in that case it’s seen as okay? Maybe it has more to deal with how I came in here without her supervision? Predators are known to be territorial in the wild, and the Humans seem to be that way as well with their many borders. Letting someone into your ‘territory’ must be a pretty personal thing in the first place. Which would mean that she must be upset that I just walked in here and started messing with things! Speh!
A tentacle reached out, or up I suppose, to Ada’s shoulder while my tail signaled my sincerest apologies. “I-I am so sorry, Ada. If I knew, I would have never touched anything! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone! Do you want me to… put it back the way I found it?”
The human seemed to find my appeasement worthy as she let out a quiet laugh. “No, Nov’, you’re just fine. Thanks for cleaning up too, I guess; I was gonna do it myself, but oh well… not something we need to talk about.” She lets out another laugh as she walks over to the modified console and grabs a controller.
Yet, before she could get a word out, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal the last two members of our herd. Sindre came in first, carrying several different bags filled to the brim with snacks of all varieties. He gave a simple head nod and rushed over to the table by the TV to deposit his haul, dropping a few on the floor in his haste.
Hailey walked in right behind him with a plastic grocery bag over her shoulder filled with many different colored bottles of drink and a tray of small dark-brown squares covered in plastic wrap. Her free hand gave us both a wave while she walked to the table in a much calmer manner, at least when compared to her compatriot.
We both gave our own wave in return while I spoke up. “Hey guys! Welcome! What did you get from the kitchen?”
Hailey set her things down on the table. “Not much. Some dried fruit, chips, cookies, soda, juice, and even some fresh brownies someone made! I assumed they were for the taking since they had a few trays sitting out to cool down, but we didn’t really have time to ask since we kinda rushed up here. Oh, and the kitchen stinks to high hell for some reason. Might have to tell Emmanual about that.”
My head tilted curiously at the information as Ada and Sindre moved the couch over to where I was standing. Once it was in place, I took a seat at the opposite end from Hailey. “Well, I’m glad you got what you wanted! Do you mind if I take one of those, uh, brownies?”
She gave me a hand wave as I reached over and undid the plastic wrap around the treats. They were still quite warm from the kitchen! I took a small bite out of the corner to get a taste of it, only to then gobble up the whole thing in one bite.
This is amazing! It’s like strayu but… richer? With an almost cough medicine aftertaste mixed with that strange spice? Such a strange and yet fascinating combination!
“Such a weird taste… but definitely a good one! Are there any more downstairs?” I asked while covering my mouth as best I could for the sake of manners.
She took one herself and took a small bite. “Yep, at least a couple more trays from what we saw. Though I bet most of those will be gone once word gets around.”
My head nodded solemnly as I picked up another.
Might as well enjoy them while we can!
Ada walked over to me and flicked the space in between my eyes with her fingers. Her other hand passed me a human game controller before taking a seat right next to me. “Save some for us, ya green goblin! Pretty sure we’re meant to share those!”
The humans let out a soft chuckle while my face warmed in embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t stay focused on it for long before she pointed to the controller. “So, do you need help with that? It’s not exactly built for you.”
Moving it around in my appendages was more than enough to prove that fact, but I tried to give her a dismissive tail wave while sitting down. “Don’t worry… I should be able to make this work…” I said while using all four of my limbs to hold the piece of plastic. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it’ll do the job for now.
“Not the first time I had to do this. There are a lot of different species on Aafa, and some of them have very strange, uh, manipulators… you just have to get used to it.”
There may not have been a lot, or really any other species in my home town, but that college certainly did. Me and Cloyta used to hang out with a few different herds whenever we had the time. That Tilfish remote was an interesting experience to use. Having to use smells to figure out a puzzle in a game like it was normal was really something else.
The TV and console suddenly turned on with a bright flash as Sindre held out a remote towards them both. He used his controller to navigate to a menu on the system to reveal a vast collection of Human games. I grabbed my pad out of my pack to translate some of the games as Sindre scrolled by.
Doom of Kevsar, Helldivers: Super Dating Simulator, Papa’s Pizzeria, Skyrim 2… all these seem fine, I guess. At least not super violent like I thought… A good sign!
Sindre spoke up first as he continued to look through the archive. “Anyway, we were talking the other day about which game to show you first, but we couldn’t agree on what would be the best showcase. So instead of one game voted in from all of us, we are each going to show you a game we think you’ll like best. Sounds good?”
My tail thumped against the back of the couch in acceptance. “Yup! That actually sounds really great! Get to see a wider spectrum of human ‘entertainment!’ Who’s going first?”
“Sindre is…” Hailey speaks up in between bites of her confection, “His system, his pick… still think it’s a dumb fucking game though.” He says as he stops his scrolling and arrives at a very brightly colored preview with several… Humans? Human-like creatures in what look like Dossur vehicles?
He presses a button to select the game as a grin grows on his face. “Hey, Mario Kart Galaxy 3 is a classic! You’re just mad because you’re bad at it.” Sindre turns his head to me while Hailey leans forward. “You’ll love it, I swear. Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.”
“That's for a good reason, you dolt. But it’s your choice…” Hailey said while wiping her hands on a napkin.
I hoped he was right as some cheerful music started playing.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 19 Terran standard minutes…}
Sindre was right! This is fun!
The upbeat music continues to play as I make another turn around a corner, drifting a little to build up some momentum. The ‘Birdo’ creature in my ‘Kart’ does a little dance as I time it right and get a small speed boost, sending me further down the multi-colored track.
“Hmmhmmmhm, hmhmhmm~.” I tried my best to hum along to the music as I continued with the race.
I never would have thought that a racing game could be interesting. Cloyta and I played a few when we were much younger, but they seemed slow in comparison. Usually had a goal at the end as well, like delivering some fruits to a market, or maybe trading on spacefaring merchant vessels in the more complex ones.
It was super fun though! Competing against each other felt a little off, but I wrote it off as a Human cultural thing. A way of bonding, as with most things for them it seems. Other than that, I found the racing to be a lot of fun! There was so much going on, and yet it somehow managed to really keep you aware of everything going on at all times.
A projectile here, a fruit peel trap there, there was so much to think about that I almost forgot to pay attention to the humans! Which, if I weren’t here to study them, might have been a good thing. There were times the competitive nature of the game seemed to draw something else out of them, something I hadn’t expected.
It was… well…
“If I run into one more fucking banana, I will kick you down a flight of stairs and jump on your head from the top step!”
“How the hell did that hit ME!? Broken fucking hitboxes in this shitty ass game!”
“GET YOUR CRUSTY TOAD ASS OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOU ASSHOLE TO ASSHOLE!!!”
…intense.
My enjoyment of the game seemed to be pretty one-sided unfortunately. Even by the already high standards of the Humans’ previous banter, this was truly something else. While I was still learning the game and slowly climbed up the leaderboard, the Humans all led the herd by taking the top 3 spots every time. They were so close together in some of the races that it was nearly impossible to tell who would win until the last moment, making their yelling even more vicious and bloodthirsty.
There were times I thought they were about to get physically violent with each other once it got to the final lap, but thankfully, it never came to that, aside from maybe some light pushing. Their… banter? Fighting? Uh… verbal abuse towards each other made learning the game a lot harder too since every time I tried to ask a question, my voice would get drowned out in all the yelling. They did show me the basic controls before we started, but it’s a little hard to ask for pointers when your coaches are threatening severe bodily harm against each other.
As I drifted around another sharp turn, my mind wandered back to what Sindre said when we’d first started:
‘Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.’
Was this supposed to be the ‘real Humanity’? I sure hope not… I think I’d prefer if they actually came to blows instead of continuing this barrage of foulness they are constantly spewing. They don’t even seem to be enjoying it! They have to be doing it for a reason… right?
I continued to think as I continued down the track and finished my second lap. The argument was starting to build up again as the stakes started to rise.
“Oh, yeah, of course you get a red shell in 2nd and I get fucking bananas in 3RD! Gotta love this piece of shit game!!” Hailey shouted, leaning forward like she was about to pounce on the TV.
“Not my fault you can’t aim for shit, dumbass! Just throw better!” Sindre quipped back.
“How about I throw you out a five story window?! I mean, I would if your fatass wouldn't snap the floorboards if I tried!” Ada finished it as he gave her an aggressive shove with his shoulder.
Yet, unlike how I expected, she didn’t push back. That's what makes this all so confusing! Each time they antagonize each other, the other person does it back, and they just stop! Their words sound like they mean it to hurt, and their actions reflect that… but they aren’t acting on it.
Hmm… the ‘real Humanity’, huh… Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way? Something less about who the Humans are, so to speak, but more how they feel? They’ve been awfully emotional in every interaction I’ve ever had with them… Aggressive, too, admittedly. Maybe… maybe this is a way for them to vent some of that aggression safely? Around people they really trust with a game you can complain about, but demands too much attention to leave them to do more than yell at each other? Things have been rather… stressful, lately.
My tail thumped a few more times against the dilapidated couch, sending a few more puffs of stuffing into the air. The theory kind of lined up with what I knew, but I was here with the primary source for a reason, after all. I would just ask them, but…
“I am going to FUCKING DEEPFRY THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM {Ass Violin}!!!”
They were busy.
They seem pretty angry… but if it helps them deal with their stress, then I am just fine with it. I’m glad they are getting through it in their own… ‘special’ Human way.
In any case, it was still better than damming it all up until it overflowed and someone really got hurt. Safe in the knowledge that the Humans (probably) wouldn’t actually attack each other, I just resolved to focus on the game instead. The third and final lap was coming around, and things were starting to ramp up even further. The Humans’ false violence got even louder, and coupled with the occasional and really rather distracting limb shooting out and the rapidly intensifying music, my poor heart was not in the best condition as our racers closed in on the finish line.
But then, all of a sudden, something very strange happened. The Humans simultaneously began to curse louder than ever before, screaming and wailing as an odd blue indicator flashed along the top of the screen, indicating some kind of blue spiky ball rapidly approaching us from behind. All three of them illogically slammed on the brakes, clearly trying to dodge the oncoming projectile, but it was to no avail. The ball flew right past my ‘Kart’ and struck the center of the tightly crowded humans, unleashing an explosion of blue fire that stunned all three.
Allowing my Kart, driving at maximum speed in hopes of any shot at outrunning the projectile, to shoot right past them and cross the finish line first.
Wait… what?
A brief silence hung in the air at what just happened until my arms went up in the air
“Hey, look! I won! Hehehe! I didn’t know I would get so lucky on my first try! Is that sort of thing… common…?”
I stopped my celebration as all the Humans were giving me very intense looks with their stares. They lacked the familiar friendliness most Humans looked at me with, but instead seemed much… angrier.
Speh, right. They are still mad from before, and now I just beat them at their own race… O-okay, they don’t mean it, they are upset and need to let it out. Just have to get through it.
Seeing what was about to happen, I curled in on myself and braced myself for the barrage of verbal slurry coming my way. A moment passed as I waited for the insults to fly but… they never came? Opening an eye revealed the Human’s expressions had changed from fury to…
Amusement?
“You alright there Nov’? You’re shaking pretty bad… Was that too much?” Ada asked in a quiet voice while patting me on the back roughly. It took a moment for my brain to catch up before I could speak again.
“O-oh, uh, sorry, I thought you all were going to… yell at me? Like you did with each other?” My voice was a little shaky as I unfurled myself.
All of the Germans seemed to wince a little at that. “Yeah… fuck, sorry about that. Mario Kart is a pretty rage-inducing game. Shoulda thought about that beforehand.”
My tail attempted to signal calm while trapped behind me. “N-no, it’s fine… I did learn a lot actually. It was fun too, besides the yelling part. Um, can we move on though? I think I’ve got enough out of this one.”
Sindre exits the game with a nod while the others let out deep sighs. “Yeah, sorry Nov’. It’s one of the most popular party games Humanity ever made, so I figured it would be a good one to show you. Next is… Ada’s pick… we sure we should do this one?”
The woman turned her head to look at Sindre. “Positive. They have a vegan option in the settings, so it’s not going to get us arrested or anything. Plus, it's a cooperative party game! Feds seem to love that whole ‘herd’ thing, and Nov’ liked the last one so I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
She gave a dismissive hand wave before turning back to me. “It’ll be fine, really. I played this game as a kid all the time, no need to panic, right?” She seemed a little worried at the end of that sentence, so I tried to put on a brave face.
“S-sounds great! What’s it about?” I mentally chastised myself for my stutter and reached towards the table to grab another pastry. “Ahem. There’s nothing predatory in it, right?”
She grabs one herself and a glass of an orange fizzy drink. “Nope, none at all! Just some harmless cooking with your friends! You’ll love it!” Her enthusiasm helped me calm down as the game started booting up on screen.
Overcooked 5: Season of Seasoning.
Looks cheerful at least. Cooking is fun too… It’ll be fine, yeah.
I took a bite out of my brownie as the game's main menu music started to play.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 23 Standard Terran Minutes…}
You know… I think I get it.
A soft relaxing track played in the background as the four little chefs on screen ran around doing various tasks needed to keep the kitchen functioning, like preparing vegetables, or washing dishes. A timer at the top of the screen was slowly counting down while a little ‘onion’ next to it with a Human face rambled on about something or other.
Orders start coming in quick, and all of us get to work in a flash… or at least, all of us SHOULD be.
“Can you three stop licking the dust clouds in the vents and actually do something to help me, PLEASE?!”
A trio of Human giggles was my only response as I leaned forward in concentration.
This game. This brahking game. They should use this for testing for intelligence like those quizzes we took back home, since clearly some people go brain dead trying to do literally anything that isn’t getting in my stars-damned way, or otherwise waste valuable time by huffing the gas coming off the stove!
Finishing up one order of seaweed wraps and lettuce salad, I tried to get back to the kitchen, but was immediately blocked by… a plate on the floor.
“WHO-!! Why is there a plate on the floor?! The counter is literally right there! It’s such a simple job to-” A ding rings out, showing several new orders that needed to be filled. The timer started flashing red as we reached the one ‘minute’ mark.
A deep, frustrated growl builds in my throat, causing my Humans to laugh for some reason, incensing me even further! We all get to work in completing the last orders, however. Things were going well as the Terrans seemed to (finally) get it together to actually make some good food. Sindre had just finished cooking the rice while Ada chopped the carrots. Me and Hailey were putting everything together on the other side and sending it through until—
“Is, oh my stars, did you guys really send over raw rice?! It’s not even partially cooked!! Are you all a bunch of mountain dwellers? Do you eat your dry grass with a side of brahking pebbles and pond scum?! Cook it again!” I threw the rice back, hitting Sindre in the back of the head with the pile of rice, causing his character to fall over with a cartoonish thunk sound effect.
The Germans laughed loudly at the scene, which made my face heat up in frustration. The timer was running short as we waited for the rice to actually be cooked this time.
“Nov’, I, haha, I’m sorry. I’ll get it done this time, have mercy! I thought the last one was done so I-”
My head turned just enough for my eye to be focused solely on the pale Human. “IT WAS BRAHKING RAW!! There's a bar at the top that tells you! Do you need eye surgery?? Can you even pass a driving test??”
More laughter.
“AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”
A ding came from the pot to signify it was done. Ada immediately took it out and walked over to the counter to pass it.
“Perfect, now just- what are you doing?”
She wasn’t passing it over. Instead, she was charging up her throw way more than she needed to. I was just about to say something as the clock flashed brightly ‘till she threw the rice at full force.
Directly at my little chef. The rice beamed directly off the side of my character's head, sending me flying away from the plate and sprawled across the kitchen floor as the rice landed gently on the ground.
“ADA!!!!!”
The countdown is drowned out by the humans erupting into laughter as I desperately try and recover. Yet, just as I make it to my feet, the countdown reaches zero, and the mission ends. Defeat fills my chest while the onion man does a little dance to tally up our points.
49600… only two out of three stars…
It’s over…
I slumped against the back of the couch, fury and betrayal stirring in my chest while the predators laughed to each other for several moments. Their raucous, howling laughter eventually started dying down, at least enough for them to actually say something to me.
“Nov’, come on. It’s just a game. I’m, hehehe, I’m sorry okay? We were just having a little fun is all.” She ran her treacherous hands down my back in an effort to calm me, to little effect.
“Dumb game. Stupid… start the next mission…”
She chuckled a bit. “Maybe we should play a different game. You don’t seem real happy playing this one.”
That made my tail flick in light amusement though the frustration. “Now you sound like my Dad…” My anger at the game started to fade more and more, replaced with a growing sensation of guilt. ”I-I think that’s a good idea. Um, sorry about that.”
She removed her hand, but kept her eyes on me and the gooey trail now stringing from her hand. “Eugh… hey, you’re fine. If you can deal with us screaming at each other, then we can handle your little squeaks.”
The other two smiled and nodded in agreement while I looked at her in confusion, feeling a little offended. “My… squeaks? But, um, thank you... W-what's the next game? Hailey’s turn, right?”
On cue, she brushes her mane to the side and starts scrolling down. “Yes, actually! Unlike these two walnuts, I actually picked a relaxing game. A classic. An art piece~” Her hands did a slight flair, yet I remained unmoved.
“Hailey, that's what the other two said too. While those games were… fine, I wouldn’t call them ‘masterpieces.’ Are you sure about this one?” I asked while grabbing another brownie.
I keep eating these things, but I just feel more and more hungry… weird…
The Humans chucked as she selected her game. “Hey, have a little faith in me. I haven't met a Human alive that can say this game is bad. Just watch!”
A flash came from the TV as the game's title came into view.
Minecraft: Anniversary Edition.
“We’ll use one of the worlds we were playing on back on Earth so you can get an idea of what it’s really like. And, uh, make sure it's peaceful too, just in case.”
I took a bite of the treat and settled into my spot, preparing myself for whatever was to come.
{CONTINUED INTO THE COMMENTS}

"WARNING! NSFW AND LONG POST AHEAD!"
As in absent na nga ako for 3 days straight dahil sa fever and back pain. In fairness naman kay doc na very supportive and caring, he gave me 5 days of rest and meds and siyempre some tests na kelangan gawin. So nalaman nga ni crush dahil nakipag kwentuhan kay tito nung isang gabi. So nakwento naman sakin ng tito ko na worried daw siya kase baka raw siya yung dahilan and all.
Kaninang morning napatawag nga si crush and tinatanong kung okay lang ba raw ako.fcedw I said I'm getting better naman pero kelangan ko lang magpatests and i asked if okay lang na samahan niya ako. May lakad daw sana siya pero sige samahan daw niya ako. I asked kung san ba lakad niya baka kase mas important yun he said sa Greenhills lang naman daw. Then i told him na samahan ko siya sa GH after ng blood works ko para mafulfill naman din yung plan niya for today. At first hesitant nga siya kase may sakit ako pero pumayag nalang din siya. So nag prep na kami and then dinaanan nalang niya ako dito. Pag dating sa clinic, ako na pala yung next na kukuhaan ng blood. Then nakapag set na ng sched for xray. Nag aya naman akong mag breakfast since maaga pa naman so nag buffet uli kami sa may Tomas Morato since mas malapit naman na yung way dun going to GH. Ako na yung nag treat since ako naman yung nag aya. Then he was asking about HIV and kung gano na ba siya kalala and all. So i explained naman everything to him. Then he asked if I'm sexually active and I told him na rare lang and mas prefer ko sa kilala ko na at least i know I'm safe. Then i asked kung siya ba sexually active ba and he said minsan nalang kase feeling niya hindi na ganon ka important sa kanya yung sex. So i asked when was the last ba then he said nung pag uwi namin galing Tagaytay daw. He invited this girl sa house nila and then there. Then i told him na sana ako nalang kase kelangan ko ng irrigation eh. Tuyot na tuyot na ako oh. Look may mapa na ng west Philippine sea sa likod then bigla siyang tumawa ng malakas and then told me na baliw daw ako. Napatawa nalang din ako. Then he asked if when ba yung last ko then sinabi ko naman. Then he said na curious daw siya pano namin ginagawa daw so ikukwento ko naman sa kanya pag nasa car na kami and dapat ikwento rin niya yung experience niya sa girl. He agreed naman just to be fair. I swear to God naka ilang balik na siya sa buffet area. Well, ako naman din kumukuha lang ako ng scrambled eggs and hotdogs para di naman ganong kabigat and hopefully makapag Jollibee kami sanlunch para makaorder ako ng family pan na spag. Then he told me na ang hilig ko raw sa hotdog and eggs. Siyempre proud naman akong sumagot na oo sa kanya. Then we laughed snd he gave me a nudge then sira ulo daw ako. Then sabi ko ikaw nga diyan oarang baliw mag tatanong tapos tatawa. Ewan ko sayo! Then tatawa na kami. He jokingly told me na yung kanya daw franks and jumbo raw (like duh! Nakita ko na yan noh! And yes naman. Pero medyo flaccid pa eh. Di ko nakita na matigas) then i told him na " to see is to believe. Show it to me!" Then he laughed then told me na lagi nga raw siyang tumatawa pag kasama niya ako. He never laughed that much daw. Yung brother daw niya (which is my gay friend din) pag kag jojoke, havey naman daw pero not as funny as me. Well, totoo naman lahat ng sinasabi ko noh. Haha! Then he laughed. We went back to the car na para pumunta na sa GH. Pero nag aya muna siyang mag coffee so sige. Then he told me na may seriosong tanong siya na if someone gwapo and macho who will invite me for a ONS, papayag ba raw ako. Then i said no. Kase di ko naman kilala yun. Not unless kilala ko talaga siya. Then he jokingly said e pano kung ako yung mag aya? Then i told him na "ano ba yan panay tanong bat di nalang natin gawin diba nang matahimik na kaluluwa natin my God!" Then he laughed again. Then i asked him na kung ano mas prefer niya? Ipapahawak yung dick for 5 minutes pero ipapasok lang yung kamay sa shorts or ipapakita yung dick for 5 minutes pero bawal hawakan? Then napaisip siya then he would answer the ipapasok sa shorts then biglang mag babago na ipapakita nalang then mapapaisip uli until he made a decision na ipapasok nalang daw yung hands sa shorts then he asked if ano ba raw gagawin. Then i asked if gusto ba niya malaman? Then he laughed again then told me na lokoloko raw ako. Then he asked nga kung pano ba raw namin ginawa. So siyempre i told him everything. Then kada position may tanong siya. Then i told him na i did body worshipping then he asked so kinuwento ko naman like wala naman siyang gagawin kundi humiga lang then I'll do the work for him. I'll lick his whole body from head to toe. Playing using my tongue. Mas masarap na part is where I'm starting to lick his singit, balls and the body of the dick and then the head lalo na yung butas sa dick? Sarap nun. Then i noticed na medyo namumula na siya but was still asking parin like how but without the joke. So inexplain ko naman sa kanya and all. Then nag aya na ako mag GH kase past 11am na yun. Naka shorts lang kase siya so i saw na may bulge na sa shorts niya and still namumula na siya and was fixing his shirt pababa like as if covering his bulge na nga. Medyo natawa ako dun pero go lang. Then i told him na oorder muna ako ng isa pa while nasa GH kami but he told me na wag na kase baka naman tumaas sugar ko tho hindi naman ako diabetic pero i appreciate him. So nasa car na kami then pinapatuloy na niya yung story then he ask if i swallow ba raw and kung anong lasa. Natawa talaga ako dun pero i answered parin na swallow yes pero depends sa tao. Out of nowhere he said "shet sarap nun kung gagawin sakin yun na isuswallow din yung akin!" Then i asked if gusto ba niya then he laughed then said ituloy ko raw yung kwento nga. Medyo kumakambyo na nga siya dun sa dick niya and i noticed na matigas na nga. Then i asked him about his experience with the girl. Then he told me na ang boring nga raw ng babae wala manlang effort as in parang bangkay daw. Though nag effort naman daw siya like licking her nips and keps and all. Then i asked if pinutyba niya sa loob and he told me na he's using condoms naman daw. Then i asked if mabilis ba siyang labasan he said depends kung magaling yung kasama niya sa bed. He tried daw so far 3 rounds kaya niya like omg tinigasan din ako dun ha! Pero good thing maluwag ang makapal yung shorts ko hindi naman halata if ever and may bag ako to cover it if ever naman.
So nasa GH na nga kami and we went to the tiangge area then bumili siya ng mga shirts and shorts. So siyempre ako inggitera nag withdraw and namili narin. Until na may khaki shorts na gusto niya pero duda siya sa size. May ibang shop kase na may decent na fitting room may iba kase na malaking cloth lang yung pang takip. At that point yung store na pinuntahan namin is cloth lang yung pang takip niya so i offered na takpan ko nalang siya so he can fit the shorts na gusto talaga niya. So tinakpan ko na nga then he started to remove his shorts and on with the other. Then he faved the mirror then asked me kung bagay ba. So he faced me and shocks bakat na bakat dick niya and i told him na yes maganda yung fitting. Img tinigasan nanaman ako dun. Then i offered na bagayan namin ng shirt or polo shirt so namili ako then he chose the polo shirt then sinukat na niya and shet talaga and gwapo and sexy niya promise. As a gift i bought the shirt for him nalang since maganda naman din sa kanya. Past 3pm na when i told him na mag lunch naman na kami kase gutom na talaga ako then he asked kung san ko ba raw gusto except sa Jollibee kase oorder nanaman daw ako ng family pan na spag. So pwede sa Le Ching or sa The House of Minis or mag samgyup. Gusto raw niya itry sa Le Ching so sige. In fairness nagustuhan niya and mega order pa talaga siya ng rice. Then nag aya siyang mag coffee then kung okay lang ba raw na mag Ikea kami sa MOA and i said yes naman. So we went to his car na then pag dating dun he just started his engine pero di pa siya umandar then he asked if I'm okay lang ba raw. Naweirdohan ako sa kanya then i said yes naman then i aksed why. Kase namumutla raw ako. I just said that I'm okay and there's nothing to worry about naman. Then he jokingly said "binosohan mo ako noh habang nag papalit ako ng shorts?" Then i felt na nag init yung face ko then i said "hello pano kita mabobosohan eh ang taas ng pagkatakip ko sayo nun. Pero nakita ko sobrang bakat yung junjun mo." Then we laughed then he asked kung malaki ba then i answered na may daya kase may mga clothes na nakaharang unless ipapakita mo talaga on its full glory diba? He laughed then we went to MOA na.
Sa Ikea naman, he's looking for that electric table where he can adjust the height daw and all. So nakakita nga kami and bumili nga siya nun. Nag aya akong mag dinner na mag samgyup kami pero gusto raw niya itry yung Vikings so pumayag naman ako since treat naman niya. Before that he asked if i have meds ba na dala kase kung wala bibili daw siya for me ng paracetamol. I told him na may dala naman ako then i showed him my med kit. Natuwa siya kase walking pharmacy daw ako and dami ko raw meds na dala. So we went to Vikings nga and waiting daw kami. Hindi na siya nag hintay so nag samgyup nalang kami. Then he told me na siya nalang yung mag cook para mas masarap daw. So siyempre payag naman ako diba. Then he was asking about my work and all. Kwentuhan lang kami talaga. Minsan mas gusto ko pa talaga yung topic na walang sex. Lalo na kung nag oopen siya about his life sa Canada. The more na nakikilala ko siya at that and i became more interested sa mga stories niya. Then there's this once na he told me na dumating din sa point na nag hirap din sila dun and all of them are working na para lang makaahon. He even sacrificed a lot just for them to get by. Though tumutulong naman yung tita niya whick kinuha siya nun (part 1) pero ayaw nilang umasa parin. He learned to save and it even came to a point na may 3 work niya dun. Even his brother (yung friend ko) na kahit sobrang pagod na from work is pag nag didinner sila nag papatawa parin para lang gumaan yung araw nila. So i gave my piece naman din just to be fair pero he told me na only child lang ako and i was 7 or 8 when my father left us daw. Siyempre sabi ko hindi naman madali lalo na kung wala ka naman kapatid. Mas pasan ko ang mundo ngayon. Pero I'm not complaining naman kase growing up naman mom is always there for me. So i want to return it naman to her. She's the only one that I've got. Mawala man siya siyempre ayokong umasa sa relatives ko kase may sarili na silang family. Kaya I'm doing everything to make her live longer and to stay healthy rin. Tho nakakausap ko pa naman si daddy pero siyempre may family nsrin siya pero punyeta yung mamanahin ko dapat makuha ko yun! Then we laughed. Medyo ang deep na so i have to make it lighter narin. After dinner we went back to his car na so we can go home narin. He started the engine pero di parin siya umandar then he hugged me and said "you're not alone. Nandyan mga cousins and kami mga friends mo everytime you need us lagi mo yan tatandaan ha!" I cried just a little and hugged him back and told him jokingly na pag tumagal pa yung hugging titigasan na ako. He laughed then kinurot yung cheeks ko. Haha! Then he asked if kelan ko ba raw makukuha yung results samahan daw niya ako uli. Then i said yes naman.
So fast forward na nasa bahay na kami then he told me to wait lang saglit kase may ibibigay siya sakin. Then OMG yung Cadbury! Pero isa lang. Huhu. I hugged and thanked him and he did the same to me. This time hinatid niya ako sa gate namin and then he saw my uncle then nag comment pa na "wow! Nag shopping ang may sakit! Sosyal ah!" Natawa nalang kami then my uncle went to him and nag kwentuhan na sila then i went inside na. Until now gising parin ako kase kinakain ko yung natirang 1/4 kase kinain ni mommy yung iba. Hmp! Takaw ni mommy! Hehe. Pero kinilig ako dun. Promise!

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i’m not here to bore you with my life’s story, but everything wouldn’t make sense if i didn’t at least give some backstory. to start i just turned 16 a couple days ago, but this all stems from when i was 12. essentially, throughout all of elementary and middle school, i was extremely overweight, bullied, and forced to the peripheral of the classroom hierarchy. but to be honest, i deserved the bullying, i was weird, awkward, lazy, and neglected all athletics. however, upon my first year in middle school, around 7th grade, i fell in love with football, and eventually the chubby theater nerd started to get his life together. it was then when i started doing lifts and conditioning drills the covid summer to ensure there wouldn’t be a doubt in my coaches mind that i would be prepared to play football, i began to notice changes in my body as well. of course, im going through adolescence, and changes in my body were inevitable, i shot up about 4 inches that summer, and my chubby beer belly began to get stretched out. despite this, i became addicted to seeing changes in my body, i craved the euphoric feeling i got from a hard workout. i was constantly doing the traditional things a 13 year old considers “working out”: benching everyday, “abs in 5 minutes” youtube videos, going for runs. at 13 i was extremely ahead of my peers. and despite and inconsistent, and unknowledable workout routine, puberty fueled my progress, and i began to pack on muscle like crazy. i developed abs better than anyone i knew, my arms were crazy defined, my chest poked through my shirt, i was one of the strongest on the team at this time. however, it wasn’t all great. it was around this time i started to change my eating habits, i completely neglected all processed foods, i stopped eating out. i would only really eat unseasoned chicken and rice and some fruits. and when i did inevitably purge and eat like a couple oreos or something, i would eat essentially nothing for days, or force myself to throw up while tears were streaming down my face. in short i developed bulimia nervosa. i never viewed this as a problem however, to be honest i felt proud of my “discipline”. and my peers took notice too, the whole time i had felt so proud of my transformation, the bullying faded away as well. eventually, it shifted to positive reinforcement for my behavior, and i was constantly praised my by teammates and friends for my discipline and work ethic as well as admired for the physique i had built. people who didn’t know me thought i was a junior in high school in 8th grade. and then i started to get attention from girls, and i had my first body in 8th grade. and then i became a sex addict. fast forward to freshman year, i put my strength gains to use, and i started my first full season at linebacker. in short my ego shot thru the roof that year. on top of being respected by my peers and teammates for my physique and work ethic, now i was loved because i performed on the field. my whole self worth became wrapped up in how i looked and how i performed on the football field. it was this year too i started to finally understand fundamentals of weightlifting, i stared following fitness influencers like lexx little, david laid, cbum, etc. and i became addicted even more to getting a punk and keeping my split. however among all this, my bulimia nervosa slowly started to go away. i still didn’t eat much, but i wouldn’t fast as much or force myself to throw up anymore. it was around this time body dysmorphia kinda hit me hard. i became addicted to pumps in the gym, and felt like a fatass for every hour of the day i wasn’t in the gym, i wore baggy clothes to school because i was just so damn harsh on myself. looking back from my perspective now my body was crazy for my age, and now i can appreciate it more in hindsight, but damn i was so hard on myself. but anyways to summarize, as my freshman year wrapped up, i was in top of the world. i was one of the best players on our team freshman year, i had a consistent lifting routine, my strength was going up, eating was going great, i started dating a girl in february, i had a 4.2 gpa, my parents were proud, everyone respected me. im not here to brag, i have nothing to gain from gloating about who i once was to strangers on the internet. and you’ll see who i became in a minute. in short, it all came crashing down. to start, despite my success freshman year, i was unfortunately undersized for varsity football at 5-9 170, and i didn’t play a varsity game my sophomore year, and played jv instead. to add on to that, we went 0-6 on jv and 1-9 for varsity. here’s where the issues start to arise. we struggled with a lack of discipline all season, so at the conclusion of my sophomore year, the coaches put a big emphasis on being the most mentally tough, hardest working team there is. at this notion, i was thrilled, i hayalways thrived in situations that required i strong work ethic and i was ready to embrace the challenge, but then a roadblock hits me. my lifting goes great for the first month of the offseason, i began my first true “bulk” which i had never been comfortable with because my previous eating habits. and seeing for the first time my body not be under 10% body fat was demoralizing. but it was still manageable because i still had my lifting routine, as my stress going up like crazy. then tendonitis hits me. i started having a terrible burning pain in my elbows that bothered me on pretty much any pressing movement, and if you know anything about how football weightrooms operate there’s a big emphasis on bench press, shoulder press, etc. for the first time since early middle school, i was forced to take a month off from the gym. my mental health went down the drain. i didn’t know what to do with myself, lifting was always the core passion of mine. i tried to redirect my energy into other sources like going on walks (which im doing now as i type this), as well as focus on school. but to be honest im not sure why i try in school, i hate it to be honest, and if i had the option, id drop out and become a welder, but my do not approve. but that’s a story for another time. the month off from the gym wasn’t all terrible, i could still train lower body and go for runs, but to be honest most people admire the top half of your body, and that what i was always most critical of. after the month was up i slowly worked back into my normal routine, starting at about 50% of what i could once do and working up the intensity from there. then the shoulder pain started on top of pain in both elbows, i now had pain in both my shoulders. and i was forced to take time off again. i started seeing a different pt around this time, and essentially what he told me was that my pain was the result of a muscle imbalance. my upper back muscles were weak compared to he chest muscles, causing a rounded posture, which put more stress on my shoulders, and the more stress on my shoulders meant more stress on the triceps and elbows. at this point i was relieved that i could start a consistent treatment plan, as well as consistent physical therapy. despite this there was another underlying factor inhibiting my progress, around the time the pain started to develop, i developed what i now know is anxiety and depression (i didn’t want to admit i had it up until now). what hit me the hardest was the anxiety, just a constant knot in my stomach 24/7 and going down trains of overthinking about my injury. my whole personality was changing, i wasn’t as laid back as i used to be, im constantly TENSE, and i emphasize that word because right now it’s the story of my life both mentally and physically. just constantly on edge. and my relationships took a hit because of it. i felt like i had changed so much that i wasn’t good enough for my girl anymore, that because i wasn’t able to push myself in the gym (i know it wasn’t voluntary and this sounds stupid) that she deserved better. we slowly stopped talking and grew apart, and i eventually broke up with her in our one year anniversary. another likely underlying condition contributing to my pain. so here i am two weeks out from concluding my sophomore year of high school, the pain hasn’t really subsided. and only really gotten worse to be honest. i’ve lifted inconsistently the last few months because of how bad the pain can get. i’ve done needling, cupping, massage, etc. and it only really seems to provide temporary relief. it’s progressed from where it initially hurt only when i was lifting to now a dull ache all the time. now my hips are tight all the time, my knees hurt too, my wrists hurt. i’m just hurting. the funny thing in all of this is? had an mri in my shoulders and elbows and nothing is wrong with me! which is mostly why i’m convinced now it’s psychogenic. all this stress and cortisol contributing to my inflammation. i’ve read lots of stories about psychogenic pain and conversion disorders here on reddit and unfortunately it seems like none are ever really cured. this led me to attempt and od a month ago, miraculously i survived with no organ damage. now my parents are constantly walking on eggshells around me and showering me with fake love. everything seems fake now. but i’m probably going to fucking shoot myself within the next week. i’m just so tired of being in pain all the time, i get told from my friends and parents, how can you be depressed and anxious? you have everything, but the unfortunate truth is that it feels like i have nothing and my life has fallen apart. “you’re so smart, you’re only 15, your whole life is ahead of you” “you have so much potential”, i’m fucking tired of hearing all this bs. the hard truth in this world is that nobody is loved unconditionally besides women, children, and puppies. if you’re a man and you can’t be strong and challenge yourself physically, you lose all respect from everyone. i know this sound shallow, but i promise im a good kid, take the time to get to know me. but it’s the cold truth that if you see an overweight man and a fit man without any knowledge of their personality, the fit man is immediately respected. i know most first impressions are based on physical attractiveness too. o shouldn’t be depressed, i have a good body, but i still hate myself. i have so much sex but i still hate myself. and it’s because i can’t lift. i can’t temporarily cure those little insecurities anymore, and im so tired of the constant shoulder elbow knee etc pain. i just wish i wasn’t so hyperaware of every little thing in my life anymore. i think if i was so self aware at times i wouldn’t be as stressed ya know, more at peace. it’s corny but ignorance truly is a bliss. so yeah if you’ve read all this way, i appreciate you listening to my sob story, i apologize if i may have left out some details as im kinda writing this in the spur of the moment and if you have questions feels free to let me know. more than anything this is a cry for help. regardless, im probably going to blow my fucking brains out if i don’t see any signs of hope for pain relief soon.

Book report guy back, with the Bryan Danielson book from 2014 and it has some fun backstage stories from his time in WWE!
Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Let's get it all out of the way up front. I know, no one asked. No one cares. What kind of A hole can afford to eat at all these places. Yada yada.
The fact is the culinary scene is changing by the month here in St Pete. I view this as a good thing. After reading the 100th question asking where to eat and drink around town I thought I would document some places I've been to around St Pete for those who are interested. I enjoy spending my finite disposable income and leisure time exploring local eats & drinks with good company.
I am in no way qualified to be providing these unsolicited opinions. My opinions are probably all over the place and inconsistent - some will speak to value and others quality. These are in no particular order. There are hardly any chains on this list - I would much rather support local spots. Ready? Let's go.
Three Birds Tavern: Love the vibe of the outside patio. They even have a British telephone booth out there. Solid tavern / bar food. The lamb burger is fantastic. Shepherd's pie is not bad. Servers are so nice and bubbly. Worth it for lunch or brunch. Martini deals on Thursdays (I think they're $5).
Pin on Cafe: My go to lunch spot. Unfortunately they are moving down central a mile but they have fantastic pad Thai and a great value lunch menu, where you can build your own meal. Probably eaten here 30 times. Very friendly staff.
Bodega: If you're into Cuban sammies (don't hurt me but they're not my favorite) then this is the place. I'm told they're fairly authentic. Good speakeasy in the back. More on that below.
Bohemios: New Spanish tapas restaurant off central. Don't let the lingering BurgerFi sign fool you - the food here is exceptional. A tad expensive but good quality. They have been slow since opening but the chef & servers are super nice and love chatting to patrons. The chef is an especially awesome dude and a fantastic cook. Got the lobster cargo, empanadas, flank steak, meatballs, and lamb lollipops. All bangin'.
Frog Pond: Great family spot for breakfast or lunch. No frills / nothing fancy, just a good familial vibe and frogs painted on the walls. Got the BLT and pancakes. Both yummy.
Lure: Pretty cool place, but I still can't figure out what their "thing" is. Is it a sports bar? Billiard Hall? Sushi bar? Apparently it's all three. Surprisingly solid food (including the sushi), good music, fun place to hang out with a big group of friends before a show at the Floridian. Great happy hour and food specials.
Lemongrass: Solid Thai food. Went here for a date, and while that didn't go super well the food was again solid. Not mind blowing. But solid. Did I mention it was solid?
Zaytoon Grill: I love Mediterranean food. I had a kefta kabob, hummus, rice, salad. I admittedly need to try it again. It was decent, I've had much better kabob. But again, want to give it another try. I ordered takeout so can't comment on the place itself but I hear the staff are great.
EngineNo9: I was told this was the "best burger in town". This is false. Well, maybe for the money it is. After having just about every burger on the menu, I can say without a doubt the best burger in town is in fact Left Bank Bistro's Burger. My gawd. I think they sprinkle crack in the brie they put on top. Anyway, this is engine9. If my expectations were lower initially I think I would recommend it as a value play. Good place to watch sports. Jambalaya is meh. Sriracha wings are delicious though. So are the tots.
Tony's Pizza: A very solid pizza place always slinging deals on door dash. They have nice wide, thin slices, similar to NY style.
Gateway Subs: really good subs and creative too. For instance, you can get crushed Doritos on your sammy.
Brooklyn South: Middle of the road sandwiches for the price.
Mangosteen: I've only gotten takeout and thought their sushi was decent. This place and Lure seemed similar in their food offerings. When I walk by the vibe looks pretty cool. They do BOGO deals on door dash too.
Maple Street Biscuit Co: The hangover cure you've been looking for. Great biscuits & gravy. They have this fried chicken biscuit with a pepper jelly type thing and it's... Hang on I need a minute... Utterly delicious. Instead of giving them your name when you order, they ask you a thought provoking question, which is kind of fun (e.g. who in all of history would you want to meet?).
11 Chicks: Great Venezuelan food. Get an arepa and some of those to die for deep fried cheese things. Don't sleep on the 11 Chicks bowl. A little pricey for chicken and rice but the quality is chef's kiss.
Fresh Kitchen: Decently healthy, solid food. Like a healthy chipotle. You're in and out of there fast. If you need a somewhat healthy $12 bowl go here. Also everyone who eats there is somehow a fitness model and/or gorgeous.
Pacific Counter: Also a decently healthy, solid fast casual place serving poke bowls. Staff is super nice. Bring your dog - they will spoil with salmon skin treats.
Hotdog Stand (8th & Central): I haven't caught her name, but she slings awesome street hotdogs and puts a lot of love into the fixings on top. Bring up the TB Lightning or bring your dog and you will be her favorite.
Pia's: I know, it's in Gulfport. Fantastic Italian food. Sit out on the patio if you can - there is a good red/white checkered tablecloth vibe out there. Saw someone get engaged there. It's that kind of place, immersive, familial, and delicious. The shank and lasagna were heavenly.
Paul's Landing: Worth it to check out the view of the pier and pool while at the Vinoy. Grab a drink and some very good American food here with a date, or for brunch.
Sauvignon Wine Locker: Pasta - yes. Wine - fuck yes. Half off bottle deals on Sunday I believe. Definitely a nicer place and a draw for the rich old snowbirds. I hear some local billionaires frequent the place. Kind of a cool entrance, walking down a (safe) alley before climbing the stairs to get to it.
Fortu: Clubby, upscale asian fusion spot. Expensive but also very good. The wagyu potstickers are great. Go here for date night and pay way too much for cool drinks and very good Asian food. But your body will be swaying from the music and sexy vibe.
Social Roost: Fun spot, feels kind of like you're walking into a Great Gatsby party. Creative and delicious dishes and the price is about right. It's loud and social and a high energy place so go with friends or a date on a Friday or Saturday.
Datz: Very solid bar / American / brunch food. I got a fried chicken salad and it was really good. I know there's more to try and I will do so.
Ford's Garage: Great burgers. If you're a car person, it's definitely worth checking out. Even the bathroom has a tire for a sink.
La V: Highly recommend this place. Vietnamese, French fusion. Good Pho, banh mi, and rolls. Get the beef bourgingon- like dish and soak up the broth with a toasty french baguette. Baby, you've got a stew goin'.
Calida: super small but absolutely delicious spot. A husband and wife cook and run the place, and they only have one other server who is equally awesome. They make you feel like family and live to serve people good food. Menu changes often based on ingredients that are in season. Had the short rib, Icelandic fish dish (forget the name), and duck panang. My gawd was it yummy. Great wine list too. Oh, they're only open three nights a week so make a rezzy in advance.
Bavaros: Pretty good pasta, a little pricey for the portion. Was a fan of Bolognese and penne vodka. Fun outdoor vibe with the sidewalk seating. Sometimes I'll bring carry out to cellarmasters.
Pizza Box: super tiny pizza spot but REALLY good meatballs and quality pizza made in a legit pizza oven. Get it with hot honey and a glass of wine.
Left Bank: Lit'rlly the best burger in town. The prices are exhorbinant for what you get, but the quality is hard to beat. $40 for beef bourgingon pissed me off, but again the food is really good. Go here for brunch and sip French rosé, get a croque madam, or take a date here for steak frites.
Il Ritorno: Upscale Italian. For the price, it was decent. Compared to olive garden it's excellent. Liked Bonu better. Pretty upscale spot for a date night. For the money, I think there are better spots. Please don't hurt me.
Bonu: Very refreshing vibe, open and airy and filled with cool lights and plants. Really good menu - lobster ravioli and penne vodka were great. Try some of their more creative dishes as well, you won't be disappointed.
Wild Child: I only went once for a date and I think we walked in after a fryer fire or something. Seriously, when we walked in we were assaulted with an intense funnel cake-like fryer smell and thin layer of smoke. Food was okay, I can't even remember what we got. I will agree to go back and try it again since I keep hearing good things and I'm pretty sure this was a one off experience. The date went well though. Not that you care.
Cassis: Solid French bistro with a restaurant and a quick eats side to it serving ice cream, chocolate, and pizza. Pretty banging.
Bella Brava: Great pizza! Was surprised how good since its in a touristy spot on Beach drive. Good pasta too. I think they have a good deal on Tuesdays or something.
Allelo: Upscale and very high quality Mediterranean food and wine list. Loved this place. Get the octopus, lamb Bolognese, and/or rabbit & glass of red and you won't be sorry.
Shrimp Store: Very good local, fresh seafood + rice, beans type place. Stop by for lunch and try the grouper. Fish & chips and hush puppies are great. Good prices too. Definitely good value.
Teak (Pier restaurant): I know the pier is touristy. But it's also gorgeous. The view of the water from the restaurant is unmatched. You can see Tampa Bay and st Pete skylines really well, watch the sailboats, and small planes fly by. The food is surprisingly good here. It's worth checking out even if you're a local.
Doc Ford's: I'd call this place upscale beach shack food. It's good quality, prices are slightly high as it is a more touristy spot on the pier. Good live music and good vibes.
Trophy Fish: I really enjoyed how fun and unique this place is. It's all outside but kind of covered, and really fun looking at night with all the lights and plants. Big bar you can sit around and you order seafood out of the truck/shack behind it. Have to say it was pretty expensive for what it was but definitely high quality.
The Studio Public House: Come here to see some great British rock and euro futbol memorabilia. Fish and chips are great, as is the shepherds pie.
Hook's on 9th: Sushi & Thai food with a great sushi menu. Great quality for not much money. $10 sushi and/or dishes for lunch. Get some takeout, try the beef bulgogi and a couple rolls. You won't be sorry.
Rumfish Grill (St Pete Beach): they have an awesome floor to ceiling aquarium right in the dining room. It's mesmerizing and a little bizarre watching the (huge) fish swim around while eating their cousin. Good seafood. Worth a visit.
Urban Stillhouse: Very upscale dining and I have to say the quality and experience were well worth the money. The building itself is unimpressive from the outside, yet when you walk in you are transported to the fanciest mountain / lodge / chalet type vibe you can think of. Multi level restaurant serving up great lamb, steak, and sides. Bonus points if you stop by Lolita's before.
Mazarros: A St Pete staple, and very crowded. But really good sandwiches made there and high quality Italian grocery options. Awesome wine room too - sometimes they do tastings. They do cooking classes here but haven't tried them yet. Worth checking out once, there's no place quite like it.
Lolita's: such a cool building they've moved in to, right next to the bike trail. Very artsy vibe since they share the space with Morean. Very creative dishes and cocktails, gorgeous patio on which to enjoy them.
Paradise Grill (pass-a-grille): the beach shack place right on the beach. I don't know how you can beat their grouper sammy, ice cold iced tea, and that beach view steps away from the water.
Ted Peter's: smoked fish isn't my favorite I admit, but even I liked it. I had some of their non-smoked fish and it was banging. Ask to go see where the smoking is done next door, it's a unique way they cook fish there. Been around for 80+ years.
Poppos : I live nearby and have been here a few times. Was described to me as a "local chipotle". I really wanted to like it. It's average. The portions are small for what you pay for. Their bowls, like literally the paper bowl itself, has a huge indent and is raised from the bottom so it fits a lot less food than you'd think. Staff was super kind though.
Drinks/Bar Only:
Intermezzo: This is the date night spot. Lots of love put into each drink. Nice jazz music. Visiting during Christmas is a must as they deck the place out. They're moving right nearby in the coming months.
Cellarmasters: My favorite watering hole in town. By now you know I enjoy wine. This place isn't your typical wine bar - it's divey, hipster, and awesome. Bring a sub or takeout here and listen to the incredibly cool wine staff pick and pour you the perfect glass. They have a great selection of old world for $20-40 a bottle.
No Vacancy: Outdoor Clubby place, usually a good spot for a DJ and to rip shots / crash bachelor or bachelorette parties.
Steve's: cash only no frills/old school bar. Go grab a bud light in a bottle and roll with the sticky floors. A staple on central ave that's been there forever.
Tryst: Decent bar. Had a boat load of tequila there.
The Landing: Pre or post Jannus show it's a must to continue your high octane weekend night with music and dancing. Bathroom lines get real long so wear a diaper or get in line early. Or try to bribe others in line with a fiver.
Bar Chica: If you like craft cocktails, it's a must visit. Classy bar slinging really cool drinks. You walk thru Bodega to get to it.
Lost and Found: Great spot for a drink and live music. Food truck and big backyard to enjoy a drink under the stars. They were playing Terminator 2 on the TV there which shows you how cool the place is.
Enigma: I typically see this suggested (as a joke) to out of towners asking for a low-key place to have a drink. Well, joke's on them. Enigma is so fun. It is a gay bar, but assuming you're progressive enough to deal with that the drinks, music, dancing, and people are fantastic.
It's all culminated in this. My favorite restaurant in town. Bin6South! ... You will spend $100+ and still walk out hungry. It is not a value play. It is a quality play. There are only 6 barstools and one table fitting 6 people. Reservations are not easy to come by. This place is the product of a retired couple who wanted to make awesome food, pour good wine, and have a communal feel for locals. It's not for everyone. But if you like a chef's table vibe, try it. You can shoot the shit with the chef, owner, and sommelier while they serve you amazing food you've never tried and pour you delicious wine. Their venison and pork shoulder are banging. They also have lots of fun culinary and wine events so check that out.
If you like coffee, the following places are a must try for either the quality of their espresso, local art, and/or vibe:
The Shop & Coffee House
Black crow
Intermezzo
Book & Bottle
Kawha
Bad mother
Fray's donut house for donuts and breakfast sammies too
Bonus Tampa restaurants:
Oxford Exchange: A Harry Potter feeling to it with good brunch food. It has a library quality to it, you feel like British royalty eating here. Great place for a cheeky day glass of rosé or bubbly. Take a walk along the river walk before or after.
Berns: A must try. It's been there for 80+ years. The building itself has such cool decorations and pictures on the walls, and each room has a different theme. While their steak is just okay, for the price comes with French onion soup and onion straws. The best part of Bern's is their wine list. My gawd. They have over 500,000 bottles on site and more in their other building / cellar. I think it's the largest restaurant owned wine collection in the world. Because there are so many bottles, they often can't keep up with pricing for all of them. We got three different bottles from 1975 - 1987 for under $50 each. Their dessert room, cellar tour, and kitchen tours are a must. Check out my post history as I have something in there from the wine subreddit.
Oh and not in Tampa but best Chinese food around is Zom Hee in Seminole. Get their NY strip dish. It's banging. Cool old school spot.
Places I want to try: Rococo, Beau & Mo's, El Cap, Cappy's, Harvey's, Sammy's, Hookin' Ain't Easy, The Chattaway, Brick & Mortar, naked farmer, violet stone, Jack's London Grille, Bascoms, food trucks (Go Stuff Yourself), Nueva Cantina's fundido burger, eat art love, German Knodle, Ceviche, The Burg, Sara's Kebab House, Baba / Barbouni
Agree? Disagree? Any other places you'd add to the list? I will likely keep editing this post as other places pop in my mind that I've forgotten, and/or I eat somewhere new. Cheers.

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Sunday is Mother's Day, don't forget to call your mom!!

FRIDAY - MAY 10th

Rockies vs Rangers @ Coors Field @ 6:40PM Promotion: Healthcare & Teacher Appreciation Series
Mother’s Day Artisan Market @ Santa Fe Arts District @ 11AM Shop from small, women-owned businesses for all your Mother’s Day presents
‘Samson and Delilah’ Opera @ Ellie Caulkins Opera House @ 7:30PM Opera Colorado closes the season with Saint-Saëns’s operatic take on the biblical story of ‘Samson and Delilah.’
Candlelight: A Tribute to Coldplay @ Kirk of Highland @ 6:30PM / 8:45PM Kirk of Highland is bathed in lush, floral displays for an evening of Coldplay performed in classical rendition.
Turnpike Troubadours @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre @ 6:30PM With Wyatt Flores & Sierra Hull
Belle & Sebastian @ Fillmore Auditorium @ 7PM
J Boog @ Mission Ballroom @ 7PM With Iam Tongi & L.A.B
Panchiko @ Summit @ 8PM
Josh Teed @ Meow Wolf @ 8:30PM
Guided by Voices @ Marquis Theater @ 8PM
Sam Barber @ Ogden Theatre @ 8PM
Malcolm Todd @ Gothic Theatre @ 7PM With Charlie Addis
Carneyval @ Temple @ 10PM
Oden & Fatzo @ The Church Nightclub @ 9PM
Emo Night Brooklyn @ Fox Theatre @ 9PM
Bruce Cockburn @ Boulder Theater @ 8PM
Iceland Airwaves @ Globe Hall @ 8PM

SATURDAY - MAY 11th

Rockies vs Rangers @ Coors Field @ 6:10PM Promotion: Healthcare & Teacher Appreciation Series, City Connect Days
Rapids vs San Jose Earthquakes @ Dick’s Sporting Goods Park @ 7:30PM
Hangin N’ Slangin’ Pop-Up Market @ RiNo @ 11AM Thrift unique and special vintage pieces from local vendors.
Cockpit Demo Day @ Wings Museum @ 10AM Get an up close look inside select aircrafts and learn all about their history, instruments, and controls!
Shaun Johnson Stand Up @ Aurora Fox Arts Center @ 7:30PM
Candlelight: A Tribute to Adele @ Kirk of Highland @ 6:30PM / 8:45PM Listen to Adele’s best and biggest hits at Kirk of Highland as it transforms into a lush, floral landscape dedicated to spring.
Black Coffee @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre @ 6PM With LP Giobbi, Themba, & DJ Holographic
Head for the Hills @ Mishawaka @ 7PM With Pick & Howl and Friendly Reminders
An Orchestral Rendition of Dr. Dre 2001 @ Summit @ 7PM
CSS @ Marquis Theater @ 8PM
The Teskey Brothers @ Mission Ballroom @ 8PM With Jaime Wyatt
Royel Otis @ Meow Wolf @ 8PM With Girl and Girl
POND @ Ogden Theatre @ 9PM With 26fix
Donny Benét @ Gothic Theatre @ 9PM With Otnes
Rusko @ Temple @ 10PM
Dustin Kensrue @ Bluebird Theater @ 8PM With The Brevet & Brother Bird
Wisp @ The Coast @ 8PM
Crowe Boys @ Globe Hall @ 8PM

SUNDAY - MAY 12th

Rockies vs Rangers @ Coors Field @ 1:10PM Promotion: Mother’s Day Belt Bag, Autograph Sunday, Healthcare & Teacher Appreciation Series
Mom’s Free Day @ Wings Museum @ 12PM
Doug Benson Stand Up @ Comedy Works Downtown @ 4:20PM
Geoff Tice Stand Up @ Comedy Works South @ 3PM
‘Samson and Delilah’ Opera @ Ellie Caulkins Opera House @ 2PM Opera Colorado closes the season with Saint-Saëns’s operatic take on the biblical story of ‘Samson and Delilah.’
Sleep Token @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre @ 7:50PM With Empire State Bastard
Gunna @ Fillmore Auditorium @ 7:30PM
MarchFourth @ Meow Wolf @ 8PM
Yellow Days @ Bluebird Theater @ 8PM With The Jack Moves
Girl and Girl @ The Coast @ 7PM
Something Slight @ Globe Hall @ 4PM

All Weekend

FRIDAY & SATURDAY - Shane Gillis Stand Up @ Paramount Theatre
SATURDAY & SUNDAY - Bluey’s Big Play Show @ Buell Theatre ‘Bluey’s Big Play’ is a brand-new theatrical adaptation of the Emmy award-winning children’s television series featuring new music and new character adventures.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY - Spring Bazaar @ Sloan’s Lake @ 11AM Shop from 80+ local makers, enjoy food trucks and street food, craft beers, and live music at this Mother’s Day edition of Denver BAZAAR.
All weekend - Amos Gill Stand Up @ Comedy Works Downtown
All weekend - Russell Peters Stand Up @ Comedy Works South
All weekend - Prokofiev and Brahms’ Symphony No. 3 in Concert @ Boettcher Concert Hall Colorado Symphony masterfully performs Brahms’ richly romantic and stirring third symphony as well as Prokofiev’s lively Violin Concerto No. 2.
All weekend - ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ Family-Friendly Musical @ Arvada Center Arnold Lobel's treasured characters hop from page to stage in a story of friendship and adventure.
All weekend - ‘Where Did We Sit On The Bus’ Play @ Singleton Theatre Through live music and storytelling, this one-person show immerses the audience in elaborate, layered soundscapes by fusing Latin rhythms, hip-hop, and spoken word poetry.
All weekend - ‘The Lehman Trilogy’ Play @ Kilstrom Theatre ‘The Lehman Trilogy’ is an epic and timely story of family, ambition, and risk, sprawling across 163 years of history of the Lehman Brothers.
All weekend - ‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee’ Play @ Vintage Theatre In this original Broadway production, an eclectic group of teenagers vie for the spelling championship of a lifetime.

Ongoing

Ongoing - ‘The Berlin Airlift: Supplies from the Sky’ Exhibition @ Wings Museum The exhibit shares the lessons of courage, perseverance, and the triumph of the human spirit and pays tribute to the brave citizens who risked their lives to bring hope to a divided city.
Ongoing - ‘Biophilia: Nature Reimagined’ Exhibition @ DAM NEW - The exhibition brings together more than 80 imaginative works, including architectural models and photographs, digital installations, and immersive art that collectively highlight the transformative power of nature.
Ongoing - ‘Fazal Sheikh: Thirst Exposure In Place’ Exhibition @ DAM Capturing the Colorado Plateau, Sheikh’s portraits and landscapes shed light on the far-reaching consequences of extractive industry and climate change.
Ongoing - ‘The Russells in Denver, 1921’ Exhibition @ DAM Charles M. Russel’s works capture the vast landscapes, mountain ranges, and peoples of the American West of the 1880s, thus leaving a valuable chronicle of the West that once was.
Ongoing - ‘Sandra Vásquez de la Horra: The Awake Volcanoes’ Exhibition @ DAM The exhibition highlights paintings, drawings, and prints by award-winning artist Sandra Vásquez de la Horra, who explores the notions of fantasy, desire, fear, and pleasure and its relationship to the human body.
Ongoing - Spring Exhibition Series @ MCA MCA’s Spring series includes solo exhibitions of three contemporary artists whose multidisciplinary works focus on the exploration of the natural phenomena, landscapes, and human interactions with the natural world.
Ongoing - ‘Performing Self’ Exhibition @ Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art This exhibition provides a look into how seven multidisciplinary artists celebrate the mutability of self-identity through the embodiment of alter egos or personae.

• New pet store Depot Town Cats & Dogs has announced their grand opening is Saturday, May 18 at 46 E Cross Street. Hours will be Tuesday through Saturday from 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM and Sunday from 12:00 PM to 5:00 PM. Additional details from their post:

Hey there! I've been holding off announcing, because my learning curve was looming but the time has come... Grand Opening announced for Saturday May 18th! We are currently open for business as we continue to bring in stock shipments, so swing by and say hi or shop for pet supplies, toys, treats, cozies, camping and travel! Shop Dawg Levi can't wait to meet you Dogs and cats welcomed! Do check the status at the front door in case there is a nervous pet visiting. We give them the whole store for a bit -- but otherwise you'll find friendly dogs, cats or people here at Depot Town Cats & Dogs Hours Tuesday through Saturday noon to 8PM, Sunday noon to 5 and closed Monday (for now). xo!

• Old Towne Coin & Gold (24 E Cross Street - Depot Town) announced via Facebook that they have new owners who will be running the store. Earlier in the year the store announced their closure, it looks like a new pair is picking up the reigns. No opening date has been announced yet. Announcement from their Facebook post:

Hello people of Facebook! We wanted to post that we have new owners! This is Blake and Nick. Come on in and see the new things that we are bringing to depot town, we will be keeping things of a very similar nature of business. Keep a eye out for our grand opening.

• The outdoor Ypsilanti Farmer's Market at 100 Rice Street (in front of the freight house) officially opened for the season last Saturday. Hours are from 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM. Check out their Instagram page for vendor lists/photos of what vendors are selling.

ABOUT ME
I wrote a money diary in October 2022. Since then, my boyfriend P. has been upgraded to fiance (we are getting married in July!) and my beloved Trash Cat has had enucleation surgery (we now call the vet “The Eye Snatcher”). I still work as a technology specialist in higher education. In December 2023, I discovered HR input my salary wrong when I first started my current job—the contract I signed stated my salary as $65,000, but they input it as $60,000. I got a hefty portion of back pay. I am currently making about $67,000/year.
P. and I still split expenses 50/50 (somewhat imperfectly) and do not have any combined accounts. We input shared expenses into this spreadsheet and then settle the difference once a month. His salary is about $75,000. He recently cashed out about $15,000 from a 529 plan he never used (he didn’t go to college) and will be creating a CD ladder with this money to save for a down payment.
ASSETS & DEBT
Retirement balance: $6,542.66 in my 403(b) and $2,688.03 in my Roth IRA. In my last money diary, I felt guilty about my retirement balance because I didn’t really start until the age of 25 and for a year my contributions went uninvested. I feel much better about it now. This summer, I’ll qualify for employer-matched contributions to my 403(b), which will improve my progress even more.
Equity: maybe one day????
Savings account balance: $1,291.23 in an emergency fund, $160.32 in a recently-started down payment fund.
Checking account balance: $3,052.37
Credit card debt: $4,651 on credit card 1, $0 on credit card 2. Unfortunately, I’ve had 3 major setbacks in recent months: Trash Cat’s surgery ($2,200), new tires/maintenance on my car ($2,300), and an unexpected hotel stay when P.’s nephew passed away just before Christmas ($1,000). P. and I split Trash Cat’s surgery and the hotel stay, so the total I’ve put on my card in recent months is $3,900. I was down to about $800 in debt prior to all this fun stuff.
Student loan debt: $75,000 in public loans for a bachelor’s degree in Education and a master’s degree in English. This was technically a “bad choice” because I did use my loans for living expenses during grad school, but I honestly do not regret it. I LOVED grad school, even though most of it happened online due to the pandemic, and I sincerely believe it made me a better, more thoughtful, and empathetic person. Since the university I work for now is a certified non-profit organization, I will eventually qualify for PSLF if I stay here or within the field of accredited higher education.
Car debt: I owe $2,754 on my Toyota.
INCOME
Income progression: I have worked steadily at part-time jobs since age 16. I’ve been in educational tech for 3 years; my starting salary was $18/hour as a customer service associate, which was around $42,000 annually with overtime. When I started my current job almost 2 years ago, my salary jumped to $65,000 (which ended up being funky, see ABOUT ME above). My current salary, after it was adjusted and I received a 3% raise, is now $67,000.
Monthly take-home pay: $3,355.90 after deductions
Side gig income: None. I quit tutoring because I started taking night classes back in the fall.
Parental Support: As I mentioned in my money diary last year, my parents contributed about $22,000 to rent/car expenses during my “adult” (college) life. My dad is also paying for our wedding “reception,” which is a private dinner at a restaurant for 15 people (estimated cost $5,000). I hinted heavily at Financial Trauma in my last diary, an issue I’ve mostly overcome thanks to my incredible therapist. I might write a more detailed post on healing Financial Trauma and my experience with it…let me know if you’d be interested in reading something like that :)
EXPENSES
Rent: $787.50 (P. and I split rent 50/50; our total rent is $1,575)
Renter’s & car insurance: $1,321/year, which averages out to $110.83/month (not split).
Health insurance: $394.46/month before tax for health and dental. Once P. and I get married, I am hopping on his insurance.
Retirement contribution: $257.50/month pre-tax into my 403(b). I also transfer $50/month into a Roth IRA.
Savings contribution: $200/month to emergency fund, $50/month to down payment fund
Debt payments: $260/month for my car payment, $60/month for my student loan payment (this is wildly low because I am on an income-driven repayment plan. Due to the ongoing Federal Battles, I have not had to recertify my income, so this payment is based on my 2019 income. I also pay at least $500/month towards my credit card debt. Since this is a three paycheck month (and my third paycheck will be a “deduction holiday”), I am paying $1,000 towards it this month. P. does not contribute towards my debt.
Utilities: P. and I split internet, water, electricity, and trash evenly: usually about $175/month for my half, $350 total.
Cellphone: $65/month (we each pay for our own phones).
Subscriptions: Spotify for $10.99/month, Hulu for $7.99/month, Monarch (web budgeting app) for $50/year (this is a discounted price; it will jump to $80/year next year). None of these expenses are split.
Gym membership: $36/monthly for gym membership; $500/quarter for personal training (not split).
Pet expenses: P. and I split this expense; generally $100/month for my half, $200/month total.
Therapy: $25/week (not split).
MONEY DIARY
DAY 1: FRIDAY
😴 7 AM: P. shakes me awake. I reluctantly get up, go to the bathroom, and change into leggings and a sweater dress. After I give Trash Cat his morning medicine, I kiss P. goodbye and I’m out the door. I listen to the Sinisterhood podcast on my drive to work and try to stop for coffee, but the drive-thru line is backed up into the street and causing traffic, so I skip it.
💄8 AM: I put on my makeup in the bathroom at work; this has become my new routine since I was diagnosed with sleep apnea because the extra few minutes of sleep are now a medical necessity. I use Covergirl skinmilk foundation, elf lash and roll mascara, and elf instant brow pencil. Sometimes I use elf lip stain (big elf fan over here) but don’t bother today.
😈 9 AM: I meet with the university’s academic technology team to help them set up a feedback survey for a new grading tool they piloted this semester. We also bitch a little about some difficulties we’ve had this week with faculty. An important thing to know about me is that I am a hater to my innermost core.
🥪12 PM: After spending most of the morning replying to emails, updating tickets, and watching budgeting videos on YouTube, I realize I forgot my lunch at home. Since digging myself back into credit card debt, I’ve made a conscious effort to bring my lunch to work and spend less on convenience food, so I’m pretty annoyed with myself. A quick trip to the library cafe yields a turkey sub, a green smoothie, and a giant cookie ($14.47). I eat at my desk while making some money moves (it’s payday!). $200 goes to my credit card to cover my therapy copay and the pair of Hokas I bought my mom for her birthday earlier this week. I also transfer $500 to my savings account. $214.47
👣5 PM: I pack up and make the short drive over to my friend’s apartment. It was a spectacularly unproductive day; if I’m being honest, I’ve been feeling burnt out and need a break, but I’m trying to save my vacation days for our wedding. My friend and I walk around one of my favorite neighborhoods in the city and catch up. We also go to Whole Foods before she heads to the gym. I grab some specialty canned beans, tofu, tortilla chips, Chomps, and some Poppi sodas ($35.23).
🐱8 PM: I eat one of my favorite lazy meals for dinner—refried beans mixed with quinoa, salsa verde, and shredded cheese with tortilla chips—and watch a few episodes of Home Economics on Hulu. I get sucked into TikTok for a little while before brushing my teeth and taking my meds. I go to bed around 10:30 PM while snuggling Trash Cat.
Daily Total: $249.70
DAY 2: SATURDAY
🚿 8:30 AM: Quick shower before changing into a blue sundress and a white button up. I do my makeup and feed Trash Cat. I’m out the door a little past 9 AM to head to book club.
📚10 AM: This month, we’re having book club at an adorable little tea room. We read Romancing Mr. Bridgerton and obviously love a ✨theme✨ so the four of us spend an hour talking about the book, eating tiny finger sandwiches, and drinking approximately 5 gallons of tea. One of my good friends from grad school, R., started this book club a few months ago and it has been such a joy to get together with awesome women on a regular basis. We also commiserate over family problems—R does a dramatic reading of an outrageous text from my dad before we go our separate ways ($38.10).
💍12 PM: I received an email yesterday from our jeweler that my wedding ring is done and realize I’m much closer to the jewelry shop than I am to home. I call P. to ask if he’d be okay with me picking it up. He is. I swing by the shop and try on my ring; it is so beautiful and fits perfectly! I wear it on my drive home and can’t stop admiring it. P. put down $400 when we met with the jeweler a few months ago, so I pay $821.88 to take it home. P. sends me that exact amount on Venmo. (technically, I pay nothing).
😵2 PM: I eat more of my refried bean lazy meal and watch some episodes of The Rookie on Hulu. The rest of the day is spent fielding calls and texts from my sister, brother, and sister-in-law about my mother’s birthday dinner tomorrow. It is bringing up ✨trauma✨ for all of us.
😴9 PM: A very lazy night routine of brushing my teeth, taking off my makeup with a wipe, take my meds, and drinking water while listening to a podcast as I fall asleep.
Daily Total: $38.10
DAY 3: SUNDAY
🎁10:30 AM: Roll out of bed, make some Kodiak protein waffles, and call my youngest brother, who is 22. He and I are very close, but I still carry a lot of guilt about how much I couldn’t—and can’t—protect him from. I offer to pick out a gift for Mom “from him” since he has to head to the airport to retrieve our parents and he agrees.
🧀12 PM: I go to a gift shop in the next town over and pick out a pair of gold vermeil earrings. They’re $225. I buy them and tell my brother to Venmo me $175 (so technically I spend $50). After, I pop over to Wegmans, which is in the same shopping plaza, and pick up quesadillas, seltzers, fried rice, and spicy chicken for lunch ($41.55 total, $20.77 for my half). $70.77.
🧼1 PM: P. and I eat lunch on the couch while watching YouTube. Afterwards, I channel my irritation into cleaning the apartment. I vacuum, swiffer, put away dishes, and wipe down the bathroom. P. takes out the trash and recycling and starts some laundry.
🍾4 PM: We meet my other brother (I have two—this one is also younger but closer in age to me, 27) and my sister-in-law at a bar to pregame for Mom's birthday dinner. Is this healthy? Probably not. Does it work? Yes. I pay for all our drinks ($112.02)
🙄5 PM: Dinner time. A bunch of my aunts and uncles are there, too, so we sit at the “kid’s table” with my siblings and one of my cousins. I order Jameson and ginger and a fancy cheeseburger. Maybe it’s the liquid courage, or the fact I went into this with extraordinarily low expectations, but I have a surprisingly good time…until my dad starts to fight with the waitress about separate checks for the separate tables. He didn’t mention it at the beginning of the meal, and considering we have 17 people at three different tables, the waitress understandably says no. It gets to the point where my brother just hands her his credit card to put an end to it. He doesn’t tell me how much the total bill is; P. and I venmo him $100 each ($100).
🍋7 PM: The fun isn’t over! We head back to my parents’ house for cake and presents. I eat lemon cake with ice cream and give my mom the Hokas I bought her earlier in the week. She loves the earrings from my brother, and he thanks me for helping him.
💤11 PM: We finally leave. I fall asleep on the way home. I thank P. for being such a supportive partner, take my meds, and promptly fall asleep again.
Daily total: $282.79
DAY 4: MONDAY
🤕8 AM: I make it out of bed and over to the computer. I respond to emails, update a few tickets, and purchase a knee brace from Amazon ($24.01). I LOVE going to the gym and I’m trying to lose weight for health reasons, but the past few days my left knee has been stiff and achy to the point that it hurts to go up and down the stairs. I have a doctor’s appointment this week so I can tell my primary care physician then, but I want to go for a walk to clear my head. I drink a Liquid IV.
🍜11 AM: P. picks up brunch from one of our favorite local restaurants. Their biscuits and gravy bowl is incredible. ($27.58 total, $*13.79 *for my half).
🥟4 PM: I jump in the car and run to Petsmart to pick up pill pockets and food for Trash Cat. Even though he came from a dumpster, he has decided he’ll only eat the fancy cat food. ($64.78 total, $32.39 **for my half). Then I go to Wegmans for some more groceries: tomatoes, cucumbers, frozen dumplings, lettuce, seltzer, onions, brussel sprouts, and turkey burgers. ($68.22 total, $34.11 **for my half).
🍅6 PM: P. and I eat dinner while watching the John Oliver episode on libraries (stop banning books, losers!!!!). It’s one of our other favorite lazy meals: quinoa with fancy canned beans with chopped up peppers, onions, and tomatoes. I drink a seltzer with dinner and then do some chores and take a shower.
🦷10 PM: Stayed up later than I meant to scrolling TikTok and Reddit. Whoops! I brush my teeth and turn off the lights.
Daily total: $104.30
DAY 5: TUESDAY
🧇8 AM: Roll out of bed and walk 5 steps to my computer. After checking email and signing in, I make protein waffles for breakfast and put on my new knee brace that was delivered last night.
💩10 AM: I take a quick break from writing technical documentation to fold some laundry and tidy up the kitchen. I give Trash Cat some treats and clean out the litterbox. He is a stinky boy.
👨‍💻1:30 PM: I run a meeting with my boss and grandboss about the documentation project I’m currently spearheading. We are migrating into a new (and easier) documentation system, which means I need to export, update, and organize all our current documentation. They’re both pleased with my progress and the next goals I’ve outlined. Maybe I am good at my job? Afterwards, I eat some refried beans with tortilla chips and a seltzer.
🤬4:30 PM: I get a very rude email from a faculty member saying he cannot access a file a student shared with him (and grades are due tonight). He sends me a screenshot and it turns out…he’s clicking the wrong button. I explain the correct steps and attach the student’s file, but I’m so agitated that I sign out early and go for a walk. The weather is beautiful, and I try not to think about the email, but I keep stewing over it. The worst part of working in higher ed is the entitlement - I am often treated like “the help” by the Impossibly Busy Big Brained Professors Who Don’t Have Time For Glitches (FYI, glitches do not care whether you have time for them or not).
📱6 PM: P. and I eat leftovers of our fancy canned bean bowls for dinner and feed Trash Cat. I numb out by scrolling for about 3 hours.
🙄9 PM: I go to bed, but keep thinking about that damn email and then beat myself up for being so sensitive and giving that professor so much of my mental energy off the clock.
Daily total: $0
DAY 6: WEDNESDAY
🥯7 AM: Get out of bed, throw some clothes into my gym bag, get dressed, and run out the door. I stop at Dunkin on the way to work to get an iced coffee and some stuffed bagel minis ($5.45).
🧘‍♀️10 AM: I log into my virtual therapy appointment from my office and talk for 40 minutes straight about everything I am struggling with: my routine is out of whack thanks to my mom’s dinner; I’m mad at my parents, my sister, and my job; my knee is killing me so I can’t work out; I have been a shitty partner and cat mom this week; I am scrolling to numb out instead of reading or relaxing in a meaningful way. My therapist helps me come up with an action plan. I put my phone on bedtime mode to turn it to black and white, make plans with P. for a cozy date night at home this weekend, and bookmark a few jobs to apply for. She reminds me I am a supportive sister and partner and relationships are not 50/50 every single day. We end with a meditation about releasing anger.
☁️11 AM: I meet with a staff member in admissions over Zoom to discuss file back-up in preparation for his new computer. He is actually already synced to our cloud system, meaning that all files are backed up, so the meeting is easy. He asks a few questions about the cloud system and how it works and also provides feedback on some of the tools he feels need guidelines or best practices for usage.
📽️12 PM: Lunch is the last of the fancy bean bowl leftovers and a seltzer (I am a creature of habit). While I eat, I watch budgeting videos on YouTube. I get an email that my credit card has been charged for my therapy copay ($25).
🙃3 PM: I meet virtually with a professor who is, technologically speaking, extremely high-need. I watch her rename and organize files for about an hour. Inevitably, she moves them to the wrong place, accidentally deletes the entire file name, etc. On the bright side, she is very sweet and appreciative of my guidance.
💪4:45 PM: I duck out early to drive to the gym. I let my trainer know what is going on with my knee, so we decide to hit upper today. I only started weightlifting in November and I’ve found I love it so much I am willing to shell out for personal training. After doing my best not to side-eye the men with terrible form (if you need to use your knees to complete a bicep curl, the weight is too heavy), I stretch out and grab dinner from Qdoba: a chicken bowl for me and a steak burrito for P ($24.66 total, $*12.33 *for my half).
🤙7 PM: I call my youngest brother while eating dinner. He is the only one living at home with my parents and needs to vent about what’s going on. I do my best to validate his feelings and remind him he can stop by our apartment whenever he needs to. I wish I could do more.
🚿8 PM: I pack my Qdoba leftovers for lunch, take a shower, and crawl into bed with some sleepy tea and a book.
Daily total: $42.78
DAY 7: THURSDAY
🦶5:30 AM: P. wakes me up by tickling my feet. It is not enjoyable, but it is highly effective. I grab my leftovers and head to the gym.
🚲7 AM: I finish up my cardio workout on the bike, take a quick shower, and change into my work clothes. It’s a little unfair that exercise actually does make you feel better. On the way to work, I stop at Dunkin for iced coffee again but resist getting a snack ($3.31).
🥤9 AM: My morning work consists of emails, tickets, and updating some website pages. I also find a job listing on LinkedIn at another university which is a step up from my current position. A quick look at Glassdoor shows it has a higher employee satisfaction rating than the institution where I work now, and the salary range for this position is at least $10k higher than my current salary. I spend a bit of time fine-tuning my resume and drafting a cover letter while researching the university. It has a much nicer fitness center and a smoothie bar? I know, I know, the grass is always greener…
📚10 AM: Quick walk over to the library for an appointment with the archival specialist. We discuss how to back up her files in preparation for her new computer. She gives me a tour of the rare book collection - first editions of Jane Eyre and David Copperfield, plus a copy of the Nuremberg Chronicle from the fifteenth century. Very cool. For about five minutes, I consider going back to school to get a master’s degree in library science.
🌶️11 AM: Early lunch of my Qdoba leftovers, tortilla chips, and seltzer since I didn’t have breakfast.
🖥️2 PM: I meet with my manager to discuss the documentation project and a new hire initiative in collaboration with HR. The spring semester is officially over, so we have more time on our hands to do some maintenance, clean-up, and proactive support.
🧀5 PM: Work is over! I stop at the grocery store to buy brie, crackers, oat milk, toilet paper, paper towels, and a cup of macaroni. My period is coming and I always crave cheese ($49.55 total, $*24.77 *for my half).
🍴6 PM: P. and I eat a dinner of brie, crackers, and brussel sprouts while watching a few cooking videos on YouTube. We talk about how “emotionally charged” I’ve been for the past few days (P. uses the phrase—he never, ever calls me crazy, irritable, moody, etc.). Eating cheese makes me feel better. Trash Cat and I watch a few episodes of Brooklyn 99.
💊8 PM: Quick shower, meds, and podcasts. I start to doze off.
📞9:30 PM: My brother calls me. I’m confused and groggy, so I miss the call but text him immediately asking if everything is okay. He lets me know he will be fine and I promise to call him tomorrow. It takes me a little while longer to fall asleep; P. comes to bed around 10 PM for cuddles.
Daily total: $28.08
WEEKLY TOTALS (edited)
Total Spent: $745.45
Food + Drink: $375.95
Fun / Entertainment: $38.10
Home + Health: $49.01
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $0
Credit card: $200
Gift: $50
Pets: $32.39
REFLECTION
This was an above-average spending week for me with my mom’s birthday. Emotionally, it was also not a great week for me, and I often tend to spend more money when I’m upset, although I’ve apparently channeled that compulsion into grocery shopping. I am also trying to test out if smaller, more frequent grocery trips are better for us, since weekly shopping often means we throw out produce or meat.
I’m working on a) digging myself out of credit card debt and b) regulating my emotions, especially when it comes to my family. This particular stressor, and its effects on my finances, waxes and wanes throughout the year - birthdays and holidays tend to bring out the worst in both. However, even with the debt, I still feel like I am pretty financially stable (definitely more so in comparison to where I was as a kid, teen, and younger adult).
Thanks for reading 😼 Let me know if you have any questions!