Long time observer, first time poster.
I was born in ‘92, approximately one year after the last time a major Minnesota sports team won a championship. I’ve lived my whole life in Minnesota save for about a year on and off during the pandemic.
I’m about as passionate of a Minnesota sports fan as they come. Accounting for the few years Minnesota didn’t have a hockey team, the statistical likelihood that no Minnesota sports team has won a championship in my lifetime is about 1%. And that’s truly how it feels being a Minnesota fan. I’m a data nerd, and “for fun” I will occasionally calculate or look up the Minnesota team’s odds of winning. Regularly, I will see 85% near certainty scenarios dwindle to 50, then 30, then 10, then a loss.
I’ve been a Wolves fan since the Billups days and have suffered through the dark days of Randy Foye and Ricky Davis watching most of their games through the whole thing.
A few quick reactions from games 3 & 4 -
1) I couldn’t be more happy none of our boys will be receiving trophies before tomorrow’s tip off
2) as a recent new dad of two, I’m truly happy Rudy had the privilege to be present for the birth of his son. But that’s what it is, a privilege. And after missing game 2, he owes it to his teammates to bring it in a big way. And he hasn’t
3) the coach tearing his knee is so unprecedented in the most Minnesota precedented way
4) the league breaking precedence on suspension criteria is equally “Minnesota precedented”
5) I’m rooting for KAT, he’s trying to be Ant’s equal. I empathize for him and wanting to ball out for his mom on Mother’s Day, but he played out of his mind (not in a good way). KAT needs to be the KAT we’ve seen him be at his best
6) ANT being in Minnesota is the most unprecedented thing of all. This team, franchise, fan base, community needs to rally around the special gift that he is to this community
And I’m here to say despite all the precedented unpresidence, FUCK IT! Fuck the Drake in Kentucky blue memes, saying the fans don’t influence the outcomes. If you’re a wolves fan and you’re invested, put all the fuck it vibes you have at your disposal into the ether. Fuck the statistics! If you’re a religious person, don’t pray for this because it’s important. Pray for this because it’s fun and Minnesota deserves it.
We’re winning this! Herb Brooks style, it’s our time! Wolves Back are the only two words I understand!

Stats/Demographics:
GPA: 3.81 UW 4.42 W
1520 SAT (720 English, 800 Math)
White Male
Middle Class
Colorado
Intended Major: Computer Engineering
16 APs (Major Specific I've taken AP Calc BC, Calc 3 and will take Linear Algebra next year, Physics 1 and taking C, Chemistry, and both Comp sci classes)
*I got a B in Calc 3 but an A in every other Math class.
Extracurriculars:
Passion Projects - Built VR Treadmill, Built PC, Made Projector TheateGame Emultation Setup, Flipped PCs and PC Parts on Ebay(I'm not quite sure how to write this on my app)
Student Council Member 4 yrs
Math Honors Society Founder and President - 3 yrs
Key Club Internation Founder and President - 3 yrs
Science Bowl Founder and President - 4 yrs
Science Olympiad Member and State Competitor - 3 yrs
National Level Soccer Player - Travel 5-9 times a year for academy games and showcases - 3 yrs
In-N-Out Employee - 2.5 yrs
Youth Soccer Referee - Travelled to ref national level tournaments
NHS Committee Chair, Youth Advisory Board Leader, Spanish Honors Society Member. Varsity Soccer Player, or Coding Club Member(I'm not sure what to put)
LORS:
Pretty Solid from my Math teacher I had for two years and started the Math Honors Society with
Really Good from my Spanish teacher that I ate lunch with to get better at spanish because I was behind after covid and after a lot of that and hard work became a top spanish student
Awards:
AP Scholar
Seal of Biliteracy
Local Math Competition
Varsity Soccer Letter all 4 yrs
All state honorable mention/team mvp/top goalscorer HS Soccer
Academic Letter all 4 yrs
NHS + MHS + SHS
ESSAYS:
Plan to write about my epilepsy and how learning about reading the brain waves during an EEG kickstarted my passion for computers and wanting to create hardware that could read and write directly to the brain.
P.S I'm genuinely unsure if I'm competitive or not, all the posts online are of these international students or minorities, but I'm literally just a dude who likes computers and school.
Will the B in Calc 3 be really bad for my application?
Other schools I'm applying to: Columbia, Washu Stl, Case Western, Cooper Union, Northwestern, UF, Georgia Tech, Co School of Mines

I have 1.03 in my 12 team SF startup. Majority of my league views stroud as the chosen one, and he is likely getting to me at 1.03. What should I be looking for as a plus to move back 3-7 spots in the first round?

Hi!
Curious to hear what's worked for you all, or ideas you may have here.
At the risk of being the obnoxious guy who introduces himself every post: I am an academy trainer who also does a ton of private training. I typically privately train small groups, versus individuals, and segment those groups by relative ages. So I have a group of 10-11 year olds, a group of 12-14 year olds, and a group of 15-16 year olds.
Every six months or so, I try to have my oldest group mentor one of my younger groups at some formative stage in their soccer careers. Next month, I'm scheduling my high schoolers (15-16 year olds) to mentor my junior high group, many of whom are about to enter their first summer of high school soccer conditioning/tryouts etc. With my high school having been through that process, having made their teams, navigated club around that etc. they are of course perfect role models and mentors for the aspiring high school players.
I'll ultimately use the night to have individual player conversations, and get pizza for everyone after. They'll play inter-mixed on a full (indoor) field at some point, but I want to come up with a few smaller group activities that pair my high schoolers with 1-2 junior high players each.
Curious if you all have ideas on some fun activities or games I could conjure as I put these players in those dynamics.
A few ideas I already had:

• 2v2 mini-tournament (I have a ton of adjacent small fields available) with 1 HS + 1 JR High player paired.
• I have a few bubble soccer sumo bubbles, so I'll probably inflate those and pair them as coach/player combinations.
• Some kind of relay races: Kick Tac Toe, perfect hat trick chipping etc.

Would love your ideas here!

Forward:
My #1 choice would be Onachu. He is strong, not slow like Marcao and good with finishing. Also, can be station for his teammates. He can play as a starter when Icardi not available. But wont be a good combo with Icardi together unless we throw them both last 20min or so when we needed to score. My #2 choice would be Ballotelli. He is more of a direct replacement of Icardi. He can come back deep and playmaker. He is slightly faster, as talented as Icardi. But he has attitude problem and unexpected redcard or anger issues. But if he accepts a reasonable salary, would strengthen our bench. He can easily play as SS/AMC and even at the wings and play with Icardi. It would be more versatile compared to other options. #3 would be Marcao. We can throw him in games where we need a goal for sure. He is a wrestler, he can power thru any defender. but would not be my starter in any game. Just an option to throw in last 20-30 minutes at most. I dont want Manaj or any other one trick pony. He will not work in our system.
On another note, Can Keles also seem to be a good option for the RW. I been watching for a while and he was showing good promise. He is always like that in the RW, but coach was playing in LW which he wasn't performing as good. In RW, he can cut into the line for cross, or cut inside for shoot. He is left footed and would be perfect RW rotation behind Ziyech with Yunus. If we can get him from Austuria Vien for a reasonable price. I would expect to get him for 3mil + some bonuses. Luckily, he is not a player of Karagumruk, so we dont need to deal with Ali Koc's errand boy Suleyman Hurma. #1 player from our league would be to get Oguz Aydin. He can play both wings. He played 98 games on LW, 21 goals and 8 assist. He played 40 games on LW, 15 goals and 7 assist. He seems more effective on RW, but I think that is because he found himself as of late. Also Alanya wasnt that good since end of last season and beginning of this season, so he didn't perform as good. I think better suited for LW. he is right footed, so he can cut inside for shots. But also can use his left foot for passes, crosses as good as BAY does, so he is not handicapped on his weak foot.
Als these 2 players are good at pressing game and have good dynamism. They would fit into Okan's system as well.
Also, just the rumors as it is, we are interested Atakan karazor from Shuttgart as DMC. he is tall and good interceptor. He controls the zone well. His style is like Mehmet Topal/Okay Yokuslu. But he is also gurbetci.
I dont see anyone else from our league that would be a good option. Maybe couple of siyahi DM/CM players like ones playing in ADS.
Another rumor is we will sell Sanchez and Nelson, and get back Ozan Kabak. He will be domestic grown player. So, along with Jankat, Yunus, Emin and him, we would need one more domestic grown player. But, our defense line would be Ozan, Apokerim, Kaan, Emin(rumor is Metehan will be loaned to Eyup for one more season). And this CB line up seems like a major downgrade. I mean, Emin would be a good option, but Ozan is very clumpsy in defense. We are strong with our strong defense last 2 seasons, but this defense will be so clumpsy. But it fills the good domestic player quota for CL. Add Batuhan instead of Gunay, we would have a good domestic line up, but I would still transfer a foreigner with good potential and skill.
And lastly, both of these players are foreign grown, so they will cause the problem in CL squad planning. We will have 2 more games in groups this season and we need to have better planning. 12foreginers, 8domestic grown(5 of them from your own academy), and 5 can be gurbetci. We got Kerem D., Berkan, Kaan, Gunay and Eyup as 5 gurbetci. I believe Eyup will be loaned this season and we need to get rid of Gunay. Maybe get rid of Gunay and Use Batuhan Sen and Jankat as academy players. for goalie. So we can have 2 gurbetci. So, I believe, we would only transfer 1 of the wings between Oguz Aydin and Can Keles, and 2nd one would be Atakan Karazor. He is not playing in German national team. So he can choose Turkey and not considered as foreigner in Superleague. But, in CL, still will be considered foreign grown.

There's a team in our 3-5th grade girls soccer league. The coach is on the board that runs all the youth soccer. He puts the same kids on his team every year and they have won every game for a couple years I guess.
We vs. them for the first time and after the game all the parents of that team came out and gave each other the good game ritual. I guess they do this after every game.
I've never seen parents do this and it seemed in bad taste. Am I being a crybaby about this or do the people complaining about this have an actual grievance?
Probably nothing we can do since coach is on the board, just thought I'd ask here.

I've decided to fully commit myself to League of Legends. As a result, I've been investing a lot of time into understanding my mistakes and striving to improve both as a player and as a person, particularly in avoiding tilt. Over the past few months, I've made significant progress, culminating in reaching the Diamond rank for the first time. However, I'm determined to push further.
One of the major obstacles I face is my champion pool. While I have a main champion with a solid 61% win rate across 118 games, sometimes I feel the urge to diversify and try out different champions, inevitably resulting in negative win rates.
I'm seeking your assistance in creating my champion pool.
For context, my main champion is Garen, boasting a 61% win rate. What I appreciate most about Garen is his forgiving nature; I can afford to make mistakes during the laning phase and leverage his passive. Additionally, he excels as a split pusher, allowing me to capitalize on leads by pressuring multiple lanes. Furthermore, his ability to swiftly eliminate fed midlaners or ADCs with Flash + Q + E + R makes him invaluable in teamfights, even when my team is behind.
Some other champions I enjoy playing include Gwen, Mordekaiser, and Renekton. However, I'm unsure if these champions complement my playstyle or possess the potential to carry games solo.
I'm eager to discover which champions share similarities with this playstyle.
Note: While Ornn is one of my favorite champions, I've come to realize that playing tanks in solo queue may not be optimal.

I've decided to fully commit myself to League of Legends. As a result, I've been investing a lot of time into understanding my mistakes and striving to improve both as a player and as a person, particularly in avoiding tilt. Over the past few months, I've made significant progress, culminating in reaching the Diamond rank for the first time. However, I'm determined to push further.
One of the major obstacles I face is my champion pool. While I have a main champion with a solid 61% win rate across 118 games, sometimes I feel the urge to diversify and try out different champions, inevitably resulting in negative win rates.
I'm seeking your assistance in creating my champion pool.
For context, my main champion is Garen, boasting a 61% win rate. What I appreciate most about Garen is his forgiving nature; I can afford to make mistakes during the laning phase and leverage his passive. Additionally, he excels as a split pusher, allowing me to capitalize on leads by pressuring multiple lanes. Furthermore, his ability to swiftly eliminate fed midlaners or ADCs with Flash + Q + E + R makes him invaluable in teamfights, even when my team is behind.
Some other champions I enjoy playing include Gwen, Mordekaiser, and Renekton. However, I'm unsure if these champions complement my playstyle or possess the potential to carry games solo.
I'm eager to discover which champions share similarities with this playstyle.
Note: While Ornn is one of my favorite champions, I've come to realize that playing tanks in solo queue may not be optimal.

On August 18, 2015 the Boston Red Sox hired the late General Manager of the Detroit Tigers, Dave Dombrowski, to run the team, replacing Ben Cherrington. The development focused Cherrington had failed to follow up the Red Sox miracle 2013 season with even winning records in the two years since, though the farm system ranked among the very best in baseball and a wave of prospects had just hit the majors (among them, Xander Bogaerts, Jackie Bradley Jr., Mookie Betts, and Blake Swihart). Thus, the swapping of Cherington for Dombrowski was rightly interpreted as the Red Sox moving to a more assertive phase, to win now even at the expense of the player development system.
Ironically Dombrowski had been fired by the Tigers because of his belief that the organization’s competitive window had closed and that the team needed to rebuild; the Tigers gave the job to his former assistant who got one more winning season out of their aging core before the inevitabilities became insurmountable. By that time the Red Sox were in the midst of their second straight division crown of three, which climaxed with the single greatest season in franchise history. This is how Dombrowski built that team, as well as the fiscal panic that cost the Red Sox the greatest all around player in franchise history following it:
~2015~
November 13, 2015: Traded Logan Allen, Carlos Asuaje, Javy Guerra and Manuel Margot to the San Diego Padres. Received Craig Kimbrel.
The first major transaction of the Dave Dombrowski era set the pace for the next four years; trading four prospects for a relief pitcher constitutes the classic win-now move. In this case the Red Sox won the deal in both the long and short terms, as only Manuel Margot developed in regular at the major league level, and that at a position where the Red Sox were not in need (center field). Meanwhile Craig Kimbrel made the all-star team in each of his three seasons in Boston, the second of which was one of the greatest relief performances in the game’s history.
December 4, 2015: Signed David Price as a free agent, 217 million dollars over seven years.
At once the most maligned and most underrated move of the Dombrowski era as well as being the biggest, the David Price signing saw the Red Sox for the first time handout a nine figure contract to a free agent pitcher. This was all the more dramatic as they had alienated and traded away their own homegrown southpaw ace (Jon Lester) less than eighteen months before. This was also the first time with the Red Sox that Dave Dombrowski acquired a player he was he previously familiar with, perhaps slightly overpaying for that familiarity. Did we mention that this was largest contract ever given to a pitcher at time, too?
Price had a solid first season in Boston, leading the league in innings pitched with 230 and striking out nearly a man per inning. Nonetheless the first three years of his tenure were marked with mutual hostility towards the ever-ravenous Boston sports media, only alleviated after his fantastic 2018 postseason run. Aging and injuries limited both the quantity and quality of his performance in 2017 and 2019; this trend as well as his 31 million annum salary contributed to owner John Henry’s decision to offload Price even at the cost of Mookie Betts. If only for that last reason alone the David Price signing is one the Red Sox would likely not repeat in hindsight.
December 7, 2015: Traded Jonathan Aro and Wade Miley to the Seattle Mariners. Received Roenis Elías and Carson Smith.
The first of many times Dombrowski would be burned in pursuit of bullpen arms, this deal with Seattle comes down to Wade Miley for Carson Smith. Miley had been signed as a reclamation project by Cherrington before 2015 in the hopes that Miley could serve as a solid mid-rotation option, which he more or less fulfilled with just short of 200 league average innings. Smith on the other hand was coming off his first full season in the majors where he gave the Mariners seventy brilliant innings of high leverage relief pitching (2.31 ERA, 11.8 K/9, and only two home runs allowed).
In a twist of fate, this trade hurt both teams as Smith immediately got injured and only pitched 24 innings in the rest of his career while Miley bombed in Seattle en route to a midseason jettisoning. Yet he rebounded with Baltimore in 2017 and remains an effective if oft-injured starting pitcher to this day, currently with the Milwaukee Brewers.
~2016~
June 10, 2016: Drafted Bobby Dalbec in the 4th round of the 2016 amateur draft.
The once and future Red Sox, Quad A superstar Bobby Dalbec!
July 7, 2016: Traded Wendell Rijo and Aaron Wilkerson to the Milwaukee Brewers. Received Aaron Hill and cash.
With Pablo Sandoval well into his career of eating his way out of Boston, the Red Sox carried a gaping hole at third base from August 2012 to July 2017. One of the short term attempts at a fix featured the acquisition of infielder Aaron Hill, hoping that he and Travis Shaw could platoon for the rest of the 2016 season. The thirty four year old Hill had been decent in Milwaukee in the first half after two bad seasons, but he reverted to that form as soon as he put on a Red Sox uniform, posting a 54 OPS+ in 137 plate appearances. After another terrible eighty plate appearances for the Giants in 2017 Hill was done. On the bright side, the two players Dombrowski gave up for him never amounted to anything.
July 9, 2016: Traded Jose Almonte and Luis Alejandro Basabe to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Received Brad Ziegler.
Ziegler was an accomplished submarine righty who the Red Sox acquired for basically free to get same-sided batters out, a role which he fulfilled to perfection (1.52 ERA in 30 innings). Another clearly won trade for DD.
July 14, 2016: Traded Anderson Espinoza to the San Diego Padres. Received Drew Pomeranz.
At the time, Anderson Espinoza was a teenager in Single A while Drew Pomeranz had appeared to finally unlock his long-salivated over potential with an all-star appearance. Ideally the Padres were hoping Espinoza could eventually develop to that same quality while the Red Sox expected Pomeranz to fill the fourth spot in the rotation. Neither team got what they wanted, at least in 2016 or for most of thereafter; Espinoza immediately went down with a major arm injury which kept him from pitching professionally for five years. Pomeranz himself reverted to his pre-breakout level for the rest of the season, bounced back with a big 2017 (17-6, 3.32 ERA, a strikeout per inning across 174 frames) and then finally was the forgotten man on the 2018 pitching staff due to injuries and ineffectiveness (6.08 ERA in 74 innings, 66 strikeouts to 44 walks). At this point the thirty year old southpaw looked like the quintessential example of TNSTAAPP (There’s No Such Thing As A Pitching Prospect), another electric arm who would never match his potential due to injuries and command woes. Anyways, Pomeranz then seemed to resuscitate his career out of the bullpen for the 2019 Brewers and 2020-21 Padres with a sub-2 ERA across 70 innings in those three seasons…before injuries again struck. Though he has not pitched in the majors in three years he remains in the Dodgers minor league system, currently (where else) on the injured list.
December 6, 2016: Traded Victor Diaz, Luis Alexander Basabe, Michael Kopech and Yoán Moncada to the Chicago White Sox. Received Chris Sale.
It’s easy to forget now, but Moncada was not only a can’t miss prospect but one of the three best in all of baseball at the time, and Kopech was another Top 100 type. I’ve covered Kopech in my previous article on Red Sox pitching prospect busts but Moncada’s own failure to reach his ceiling was due more to injuries and a passive approach at the plate. Thus far into his career, Moncada has had two good seasons out of seven and played in at least 130 games in only three. With a strikeout rate of thirty percent, a declining walk rate, little power and less defense, he’s become a fourteen million dollar albatross even when on the field for the White Sox.
Sale, of course, had two Cy Young Award worthy campaigns before injuries and an ill-advised extension soured his final five seasons as a Red Sox. That extension will be discussed further when we come to it, but the trade on its own was inarguably a major victory.
Traded a player to be named later, Josh Pennington, Mauricio Dubón and Travis Shaw to the Milwaukee Brewers. Received Tyler Thornburg. The Boston Red Sox sent Yeison Coca (June 5, 2017) to the Milwaukee Brewers to complete the trade.
Yet another ill-fated trade for a relief pitcher, this time costing the Red Sox heavily in terms of value lost; Shaw went to become an all-star power bat at second and third base for the next two seasons in Milwaukee before his career petered out. Thornburg on the other hand contracted thoracic outlet syndrome from which he never recovered. Even if he had pitched well, the Red Sox could have used Shaw more than any setup man due to Dustin Pedroia’s career ending knee injury.
December 8, 2016: Signed Mitch Moreland as a free agent.
Mitch Moreland was a decent first baseman, but could Dave really not find someone better to play first over the next three years? Even if they cost more than $18.5 million?
December 20, 2016: Traded Clay Buchholz to the Philadelphia Phillies. Received Josh Tobias.
This was more of a psychic relief to Red Sox Nation than anything else, finally alleviating them of the constant confusion over which Bucholz would show up on the mound—the oft-injured and easy to hit version, or the dominating ace? Fittingly Clay’s last three seasons in the majors featured two horrid starts for Philly, sixteen dominating starts in Arizona, and then finally split the difference with a final dozen poor performances as a Blue Jay.
~2017~
June 12, 2017: Drafted Tanner Houck in the 1st round (24th pick) of the 2017 amateur draft.
Houck’s selection constitutes one-third of the total number of draft picks by Dombrowski that made which helped the Red Sox at the major league level (the other two being fourteenth round pick Kutter Crawford in 2016 and fellow first rounder Triston Casas in 2018); inability to find even depth pieces in the draft left the Red Sox farm system utterly void of impact talent by 2018.
June 23, 2017: Selected Doug Fister off waivers from the Los Angeles Angels.
As alluded to in my previous article, veteran GMs tend to reacquire players they were familiar with from previous stops. Fister had been an excellent fourth starter for the Tigers early in the 2010s but by 2017 the end was clearly staring him in the face; a 4.88 ERA in eighteen appearances (fifteen starts) just underlined this inevitable and unenviable conclusion.
July 26, 2017: Traded Shaun Anderson and Gregory Santos to the San Francisco Giants. Received Eduardo Núñez.
Nunez was the short-term solution to Pedroia’s knee injury. He turned out to be the medium-term solution too, as the degenerate condition of the incumbent’s affliction led DD to resign Nunez that winter. While fantastic down the stretch in 2017 this was a stretch of the infielder’s capabilities; Nunez suffered his own knee injuries and posted a remarkable -2.3 WAR as Boston’s primary keystone occupant over the 2018 and 2019 seasons.
July 31, 2017: Traded Gerson Bautista, Jamie Callahan and Stephen Nogosek to the New York Mets. Received Addison Reed.
Another deadline, another deal to reinforce the bullpen. Reed was inconsistent for the Red Sox during his two month stay, which turned out to be the penultimate chapter for his career—a poor 2018 in Minnesota marked the end of his major league career, an astonishingly quick demise even for a reliever.
~2018~
February 26, 2018: Signed J.D. Martinez as a free agent, five years and 110 million dollars.
The best free agent signing of the Dombrowski era, JD provided the power bat the Red Sox sorely lacked after Big Papi’s retirement. In his first and best season in Boston Martinez led the majors in both runs batted in and total bases, placed third in MVP voting, and earned Silver Sluggers at two different positions! He declined linearly from there, but remains a productive member of any team’s lineup to this day; he has spent the last two seasons as the Dodgers and now Mets’ DH, attempting to compensate for declining bat speed by sacrificing contact for power.
March 4, 2018: Signed Ryan Brasier as a free agent.
The quality of Brasier’s pitching is inversely proportional to the quality of the expectations laid upon him. Thus he alternates excellent if limited seasons with ostensibly healthier but more erratic contributions.
March 24, 2018: Traded Deven Marrero to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Received a player to be named later. The Arizona Diamondbacks sent Josh Taylor (May 15, 2018) to the Boston Red Sox to complete the trade.
Deven Marrero was the prototypical good-field/no-hit infielder. Taylor is yet another oft-injured reliever, though he at least gave the Red Sox two solid seasons as the primary southpaw in 2019 and 2021. After missing all of 2022, he was traded to the Royals for Adalberto Mondesi and a teenage infielder named Angel Pierre; while Mondesi knee injuries seem to have ended his career Pierre posted a .415 OBP in rookie ball last year. Keep an eye and ear out for him as he climbs through the minor league ranks.
June 4, 2018: Drafted Triston Casas in the 1st round (26th pick) of the 2018 amateur draft.
Get well soon. There’s only so much Bobby Dalbec a fan can take.
June 28, 2018: Traded Santiago Espinal to the Toronto Blue Jays. Received Steve Pearce and cash.
Moreland had never and would never hit southpaws, but it took until the middle of his second season in Boston for the Red Sox to provide him with a platoon partner. When they finally did so at least they chose one of the very best platoon players in the major leagues in Steve Pearce; Pearce of course would win the World Series MVP that should have gone to Price later that year.
July 25, 2018: Traded Jalen Beeks to the Tampa Bay Rays. Received Nathan Eovaldi.
Even had he not resigned with the team during the offseason, Eovaldi would have earned his place in Red Sox lore for his heroic six inning relief appearance in the World Series. We’ll discuss the extension later, but also note that Beeks is perhaps the only pitcher who the Rays failed to turn into a Cy Young contender. What’s the opposite of adding insult to injury?
July 30, 2018: Traded Ty Buttrey and Williams Jerez to the Los Angeles Angels. Received Ian Kinsler and cash.
With Nunez playing well below replacement level, the Red Sox needed a replacement for the replacement. Kinsler in his penultimate season at least provided a solid glove; just in case the Red Sox also picked up Brandon Phillips.
November 16, 2018: Signed Steve Pearce as a free agent. AND, December 6, 2018: Signed Nathan Eovaldi as a free agent.
These were covertly two of the worst transactions of the Dave Dombrowski era. Refusing to say goodbye to midseason rentals is risky enough, but the amount of money given to Pearce and Eovaldi also baffled reasonable explanations; a thirty-six-year-old platoon hitter at first base is replaceable enough, even when he’s not the weak side of the arrangement. Had Pearce played well and been healthy in 2019, perhaps the six and quarter million would have seemed mostly worth it; instead, he “hit” .180 in twenty nine games before retiring.
Meanwhile, Eovaldi’s lengthy injury history made it a minor miracle that he was healthy enough for the Red Sox during his three months in Boston—bringing him back for four years and sixty-eight million dollars can only be explained as a sentimental move, an excessive reward for that World Series performance. As could have been reasonably expected in December 2018, Nitro Nate only proved worthy of that contract in one out of four seasons; in the other three he was either injured for most of the season, ineffective, or both.
~2019~
March 23, 2019: Extended Chris Sale for five years, 145 million dollars.
It wasn’t the David Price contract that caused the fiscal panic that cost the Red Sox their best player since at least Carl Yastrzemski, not really. The Red Sox could have eaten that sunken cost, had it been the sole albatross on their pitching staff. But, of course, it was only one of three unnecessary contracts that Dave Dombrowski issued to injury-prone starting pitchers on the wrong side of thirty. Sale had already shown long term red flags in 2018, which argued for letting him play out his walk year in 2019 before possibly ponying up the cash to keep him. After all, the Red Sox also had to extend Xander Bogaerts as well as the inestimable Betts; those two would cost at least sixty million a year to retain. Since they were coming off the most dominant single season in franchise history, perhaps now was the best time to let go some of the chief contributors, before the Red Sox tricked themselves into trying to recapture lightning in a bottle…Well, you know what happened in reality.
Between them, Eovaldi, Sale, and Price cost the Red Sox $52 million in 2019 alone, then $67 million in 2020; accounting for other contracts (JBJ’s arbitration rang up $11 million, Bogey was extended for $20 million, and JD was on the books for about $24 million) that was at least $122 million dollars already assigned to six players entering 2020. Assuming a payroll of effectively $200 million, this would have left about thirty million to spend on the other twenty-odd players required to field a team after giving Mookie his presumed megadeal. Turning back to 2019, just like with the Tigers in 2015, Dave couldn’t even make his customary July trade for pitching; the acquisition of Andrew Cashner from the Orioles felt like a low-budget parody of his previous deadline splashes, which of course it was.
There’s the real reason Dave Dombrowski was fired—just as in Detroit his full throttle commitment to a win-now mandate from ownership eventually led to a top-heavy roster and barren farm system. Have fun while you can, Phillies Phans.
Final Note/Small Self Promotion I forget to add: You could have read this post ten days earlier if you follow my blog

Orlando Magic 2024 Off Season Guide

2024 Results

Record: 47-35 (1st in division, 5th in conference)
Playoffs: Defeated by Cleveland 4-3 in the first round
Notable awards/Nominations: Paolo Banchero (All Star), Jamaal Mosley (3rd in Coach of the Year Standings), Jalen Suggs (Votes for MIP and DPOY)
Season Review By most standards, the Orlando over-achieved and impressed in the 2023-2024 season. With most assuming that they would be around .500 and barely in the play ins before the season began, a solid 5th seed run and clear playoff run deep into the last round was above most considered they were capable. Paolo established himself as a clear 1st option while Jalen Suggs showed great improvement in his shooting and decision making. The Magic bench was possibly the biggest surprise of the season as a rare healthy season showed a benefit to depth.
Still, some things were disappointing in the season. Marcelle Fultz never really healed right or maybe at all and showed he still cannot provide spacing from the 3pt line. Franz, though he was able to score other ways, seen a drop I'm his 3pt% in what was considered a regression season. Cole Anthony, having started the season as a 6MOY candidate, ended the season mediocre at best and the team as a whole cooled down after a very hot start to the season.
All of these things considered, this season was considered a success. However, there were some clear holes shown to the front office that should help the magic, along with internal growth, continue to grow into a deep playoff team for years to come.

Cap Situation

The Magic go into the Off Season with some of the highest cap space possibilities in the league. With 25m of free cap if they keep all players with options/free agency looming and a whopping 65m if they waive everyone for max space, the Magic could certainly be a major player in the off season. With very few big name stars to sign, this could be through facilitating a trade, or simply small moves betting on eternal growth. They have 11 players on contract (3 with non-guaranteed or club options) and sub par performances by some FAs such as Fultz and Harris. The magic are almost guaranteed to see some new faces, whether big names or small improvements.
Team Need While the Magic’s shooting woes were the elephant in the room, they were 14th in shooting after the all star break, which seemed like an upward trajectory for a young, growing team. Still, shooting and scoring should be a focus for any moves the Front Office might be looking at doing. Besides shooting, playmaking outside of Paolo is lacking and the depth at point guard is a big need. Thought the Magic had decent bigs this year, inside rebounding and overall defense outside of JI and WCJ is also a need. Outside of that, general vet presence in the young core could help the continual nominal growth of the young core.

Free Agent Targets

With all this money, surely they will sign a big name right? Of course there are always big names that they could throw money at, but let's be real, LeBron isn't coming to Orlando (and is even recorded saying he'd rather retire). Paul George and Klay Thompson have been mentioned as some big fish, but the fact that these players would demand a big contract and do not fit the Magic's timeline makes these imperfect if not unlikely targets. Names like OG and Siakim are questionable fits with the looking stardom of Paolo and maybe Franz. Yet there are still some options.
Some of the bigger name options that are better fits are still questionable in other ways. While D'Angelo Russell seems perfect on paper, the Front office has made it obvious they are growing a culture here and Dlo certainly does not scream culture guy. Likewise, some names Like Beasley, who do what the Magic need though they aren't big names, just don't seem to fit the Magic high character requirements.
Now that we have the unlikely options out of the way, let's talk about more realistic options. Players like Malik Monk, Luke Kennard and Buddy Hield, while not a fancy, high dollar option, fit a clear need for Orlando and would be a more likely option. Other shooting options such as Gary Trent Jr and Cadwell-Pope could really help bolster the shooting woes of the magic. For the playmaking, Tyus Jones and Kyle Lowry (don't kill me magic fans) could add to the back court depth. IHart, Claxton (at least start a bidding war) and Jonas V could both be a benefit to the need of rebounding and depth at big men. A few more names that could be mentioned are Bruce Brown, Alec Burks, Monte Morris, De'Anthony Melton, Lonnie Walker. Really any names that can shoot, distribute the ball, or rebound while not having questionable locker room issues.
As for looming free agents, the Magic are likely to exercise the Team Option on Moe Wagner after a great year. Joe Ingles is questionable, but he was mostly a player coach and seemed to be a huge help to Mosely. They could look to re-sign players like Fultz and Gary Harris, but that would most likely come on a team friendly discount as neither were extremely impressive.
it should be noted that any signings or trades should heavily consider future finances. Franz Wagner and Jalen Suggs will need an extension or new contract by next year and then Paolo the year after. This could result in max or close to max contracts for both Paolo and Franz and a decent sized contract (~20m) contract for Jalen. This should be considered in any future moves the magic make.

Trade Targets

Everyone would like to think they have a shot at the big names, but for a team with the space the magic have and all future picks plus an extra few in their chamber, magic are sure to be connected to most trade rumors as the off season progresses. Names like Booker, Mitchell, and Trae will likely have the magic name in every headline. Though these are possibilities, with Paolo as the current future, none of these seem like good fits or likely to come to a considerably small market like Orlando.
Some not as big but still high caliber players that could be traded include Garland, Dejounte Murray, and Simons (yall know I feel). All have been rumored to move, fit a need while not needing the ball in their hand, and are obtainable targets. Some names that COULD be available but probably shouldn't be considered are Ingram, MPJ, Derozen, Bridges. These players look good on paper, but would be very questionable fits next to the current young core.
Some other less sexy, but still noteworthy names are Jarrett Allen, Alex Caruso, Marcus Smart, and any other smaller named guards and shooters or bigs who might be available. There aren't many limits to what the Magic COULD do, but there is a pretty sizable list as to what they SHOULDN'T do.

Draft Targets

Picks: 18th and 47th in the NBA draft
With an already very young roster and two rookies drafted last year (one who mostly played in the Gleague), it seems unlikely that the Magic want to add MORE young players from a draft that lacks in truly game changing players. It feels like any trade the Magic might complete would include one if not both of these picks. Still, with looming contract extensions for rookies and some clear needs to fill, they could look to do so with cheaper future options.
If they do not trade the pick, the magic could look for the biggest upside swing with the 18th pick. Some names that could be interesting at this spot are Tristan Da Silva, DaRon Holmes, Kel’El Ware, Yves Missi, Kyle Filipowski and Jared McCain. These players all fill a need the team has while keeping future cap flexibility.

Summary

The truth is, the Magic have pretty much all options available and the cap space to make those options a reality. Their needs are clear, their options are vast, and their trajectory is rising. The Magic are in a great spot to make a huge leap this year, but what they do in the off season could make or break how far the team goes this year.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dead in the next 24 hours.
Whether that's the Costella family, or whatever this is, I'm not sure.
The police are taking forever, and part of me knows they're either refusing to believe me, or RC got them too.
I'm holed up on our school bus, so I've got nothing better to do.
I want to tell you about my team.
We met in our sophomore year.
Strangers standing outside the club room.
Levi was the freckled brunette who wouldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones.
Sunny, a pretty redhead, told him to shut up.
Tom, a sandy blonde, nodding his head to music corked in his ears.
I just wanted to be part of a club, and get away from my overbearing mother.
I won't say it was a perfect start. Our school was lacking in funding, so anyone could join, which made us more of a Quiz Club. I had some serious anxiety, so I stayed on the sidelines for a while, watching, rather than taking part.
It's not like we actually talked to each other initially. The first few weeks, we played Jeopardy, and attempted to find more members to cement us as an official Academic Decathlon club.
Unfortunately, though, it was just the four of us.
Which made it extremely hard for us to be taken seriously.
According to Google, Academic Decathlon teams were made up of nine members, placed by their GPA.
Our principal laughed at us, but he did let us become official.
Which was out of pity, I assumed.
The club was assembled, and we started meeting up after school.
Sort of.
Sunny barely showed up, and Levi didn't take anything seriously, preferring to spend the time telling us about his weird family turf-war.
Our principal dumped us in a tiny classroom with a resident rat living under the floorboards.
There was barely enough room to move, and the four of us crammed together for three hours was less than appealing.
Still, though, I wanted to be part of a club.
I had grown up with parents who were obsessed with board games, so I was pretty good at general knowledge questions. Our club room was too small for anything else but three desks (Sunny and I shared one) and a whiteboard we had to shove through the door.
But, again, we didn't start as an Academic club.
It was more akin to Story Time Club.
Arriving late on my third day, armed with quiz cards from home, I found Tom and Sunny completely mesmerised by Levi’s storytelling skills, drowned in shadow.
They didn't even turn the lights on.
I strictly remember squeezing next to Sunny, and hearing the words, “But there was so much blood all over the floor, and my Mom told me to go upstairs and hide under the bed…”
Sitting in front of them was Levi, perched on a desk, his legs swinging, a whiteboard marker between his teeth.
Sometimes he'd get up, and illustrate parts of his story.
It sucked that his drawings were all stick people.
I won't go into full details of his life, but Levi grew up as part of a family who had… interesting methods of making a living. I had seen the guy’s father multiple times when we hung out at his place, and, yeah, my friend’s family definitely had Soprano vibes.
Levi’s Draw My Life was nothing to do with the club, but it did bring us closer.
Even if, at that point, I was considering leaving.
But it's not like it was easy to walk away from these guys. It's like finding your soulmates. Levi wasn't the only one with an interesting life. Sunny Lang was an ex kpop trainee, who was kicked out for being too fat, which led her to develop a severe eating disorder, and a hatred for her own body.
Sunny explained her family were originally from Boston, her mother growing up in Korea.
She signed up for an idol agency focusing on creating a new girl group, and had gotten all the way to the final stages, before being kicked for her weight. Sunny told us her story with a smile, though there was a hollowness in her eyes I couldn't ignore. The other girls were judgemental bullies, and the idol diet and brutal regime almost killed her.
Sunny lived in a tiny apartment with 9 girls, who would tear each other apart for a chance to debut. Sunny said all the other girls debuted, and when we (not so patiently) asked for names, she shrugged, admitting she signed an NDA that prevented her spilling the beans.
What she did say, was the K-pop idol is a product, not a person– and are made and moulded into a product.
She had zero interest in throwing her humanity away to become a manufactured doll.
So, one of us was the son of an underground family, and the other was an ex idol.
Tom was an aspiring horror writer with a famous older step-brother.
His story times were usually, That one time I went to the Met Gala.
When it was my turn to reveal my story, I told them the only interesting thing about me.
I could smell when something bad was going to happen.
They laughed, but I was being serious.
When I was a kid, I smelled my mother’s brain tumor.
I remember it smelled like curdled milk.
I asked Mom why her head smelled of mouldy milk, and Mom laughed and said it was her shampoo.
It was actually a grade two tumor growing inside her brain.
Thankfully, the tumour was found quickly and removed.
Growing older, I became sensitive to smell. The little girl choking on the bus smelled of singed wood, and the old man crossing the road stunk of gasoline.
In the fourth grade, my classmate Alex Castor smelled of lemons all morning.
I sat behind him, choking on the stink all the way through class.
Ever since I met him, Alex had always smelled… off.
It was a distinct smell I could never understand, and as the days and months and years went by, that smell morphed into a subtle orangey musk that was so strong I had to cover my mouth and nose. Then, he smelled like lemons.
During Recess, I watched Alex fall off of the jungle gym, straight onto his head.
Alex Castor was dead before the paramedics arrived, my panicked teacher attempting CPR when his brains were leaking out of his ears.
The school claimed it was an accident, but Alex would have been fine if the jungle gym wasn't built on solid concrete.
I told my team members this, and Levi was sceptical.
“You can smell bad things?” He said, his lips curved around his milkshake straw. In the early days, we hung out in the local bar. It's not like we were allowed inside, but Levi could get us in anywhere.
I was squeezed between Tom and Sunny, while Levi took the seat opposite us. I couldn't help noticing our waitress was insisting on free milkshake refills, her frantic eyes glued to Levi.
I had zero idea why. Levi Costella was about as intimidating as a fruit fly.
Wearing a white shirt with a popped collar, a leather jacket thrown over the top, Levi was giving rebellious Harvard student, rather than son of a crime family.
Leaning forward, he raised a brow, clearly not believing me.
“So, you're like a stink psychic?”
I shrugged, sipping my own shake.
“Sure.”
I wasn't planning on telling him the club room smelled off on our first day.
Once we actually started the club, Levi surprised us as the smartest member, and getting to know him further, I came to the realization his family were infamous in our town.
However, his parents hid it well. Lucy and Michael Costella were the owners of a popular ramen store in our town, hiding under the facade of two successful business owners. The Costella’s were an attractive family.
Lucy was a sophisticated brunette with a lipstick smile, Michael, a handsome fluffy haired man who looked like he modelled glasses.
The two were fiercely protective over their youngest son, not so casually reminding us behind grinning smiles, that if anything happened to Levi, we would automatically be involved in the family.
I mean, they did laugh and say, “We’re joking! Look at your little faces!” when Sunny went deathly pale. But there was definitely truth behind their words.
Being Levi’s friend was… challenging at first.
Tom and I were in his room studying for finals, and an alarm went off, flooding Levi’s room in red light.
I had zero idea where it was coming from, but it locked all the doors and windows, forcing the Costella residence into temporary lockdown. Levi didn't seem fazed, casually mentioning his parents were taking care of it.
He had a whiteboard set up in his room, and was standing in front of it, cramming all of our textbook notes into one easily digestible drawing.
Levi wasn't just smart.
He was Ivy League smart, so we had struck gold with him.
His family were questionable, and yes, sometimes I did fear for my life, but as the more time we spent at his house, the Costella household became a second home. We got used to the alarms.
I just brought along ear plugs.
I wish I was writing this post about Levi’s family, and sure, they are a factor in what is going on right now, but I want to preface this by saying the events below involve the 2024 scholastic decathlon final in our town with the school’s listed:
Starbrook High School.
Ratcliffe High School.
Please note, the incident that took place last night was immediately covered up, and all phone footage was destroyed. Our town is mostly out of the way, and does not show up on Google searches.
We also have our own version of the academic decathlon, which is a more town-level competition, due to lacking funds. The four of us were desperate to start competing with our schools.
So, we started taking things a little more seriously.
We got a coach.
Mr Hanes, who was hesitant at first.
In his words, “You will hate me as your coach.”
He started by recruiting more members, announcing, “If you want to be taken seriously as an actual club, then I'll be taking the reins from now on.”
He did, and with our teachers guidance (and sometimes brutal honesty), we reached a level where we could start competing with other school’s in town. Now, none of us knew this, but Mr Hanes was obsessed with winning.
So, club meetings were twisted into two hour study sessions with no talking, followed by Mr Hanes Jeaprody, which was Jeaprody, without the actual fun.
We were quizzed multiple times, answer cards and practise questions quite literally thrown directly in our faces.
I hate to admit this (I really hate to admit this) but Mr Hanes’s tactics worked. Sure, we had been mildly brainwashed by our slightly unhinged coach, but with Levi Costella, we destroyed our competitors. Like I said, our town held their own version of the academic scholastic decathlon, but it was pretty much the same, with some changes.
Ten subjects. Language and Literature, Math, Social Science, Economics, Art, Music, Interview, Speech, and Essay.
Unlike the official Decathlon, ours was more like a game show, with the ability to be knocked out if a team member answers a question wrong. Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. Team meet ups were either tests, study sessions, or quizzing each other.
Which leads me to last night.
The finals were held in the reigning champions, Ratcliffe High School’s, auditorium.
And we were about to win our town’s Scholastic Decathlon 2024 Championships.
Well…I was knocked out in the music section. Standing next to my coach who I was sure was going to asphyxiate from excitement, I could smell the sudden potent stink of lemon. I tried to ignore it at first, but the more questions my team were answering correctly, the smell got worse, suffocating my senses.
This wasn't just lemon. The stink was like a burning, singing smell trickling into my nose and the back of my throat.
It was stronger than what Alex smelled like.
This was suffocating, drowning my thoughts.
“Are you okay, Cassandra?”
Mr Hanes nudged me when a Ratcliffe girl was struggling to answer a question, only for Sunny to jump in with the answer. “You look quite pale.”
I nodded, forcing a smile.
My gaze was on the Ratcliffe coach, a scary looking blonde woman, whispering in one of her student’s ears.
The Ratcliffe kid freaked me out. He was way too tall, dark blonde hair, and bulging eyes I swear were not blinking.
His gaze was glued to Levi, who wore a smug grin.
There was a smaller girl next to the Ratcliffe kid, a Macbook balanced on her knee. Every so often, he leaned into her, the two of them in deep conversation.
“I'm just nervous.”
I jumped when Ratcliffe scored a point, their side erupting into cheers.
During the break, we had a mini team meeting.
Sunny rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and I noticed a Ratcliffe girl with a bouncing ponytail following her.
Ignoring our coach’s speech, I joined the two girls in the corridor, that lemony scent hanging thick in the air.
I caught them in an awkward position.
The Ratcliffe girl had her fingers pinched between the material of Sunny’s dark blue shirt bearing our school’s name.
Sunny looked confused, her lips parted like she was going to yell.
Ponytail dropped her hand, suddenly, with a nervous laugh. “Oh! I'm so, so, sorry,” she gushed. “You had, like, the biggest spider crawling on your back.”
Sunny caught my eye, shooting me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks.” She made sure to keep her distance. “Uh, where's your bathroom?”
The Ratcliffe girl nodded down the hallway. “It's just down there. I'm going there too if you want me to show you?”
Sunny motioned for me to go back to the auditorium. “Uh, sure! That'd be great!”
I did try to follow them, only for Sunny to cough loudly.
I took the hint, reluctantly heading back into the auditorium.
My team was hyping each other up, Levi in the centre, sweating through his team shirt. He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I can't do this,” He groaned. “Ratcliffe High is known to play dirty, man. They're unbeatable.”
“In what way do they play dirty?” I asked, joining them.
Levi gulped down water, shrugging.
“I dunno! They're already trying to distract me with the stink eye.” The boy narrowed his eyes at a grinning Ratcliffe kid who, after noticing our stares, jumped to his feet, waving at us.
“Hey guys!”
“That's Harry Cartwright, the son of the Cartwright family who tried to kill my parents in the third grade.” Levi mockingly waved back. “As you can see, their kid is a fucking sociopath.”
Huh. I wasn't expecting the smiley kid to be the mobster’s son.
Harry Cartwright was not what I expected.
Unlike his team members, he was the only one in casual clothing, a short sleeved white shirt and jeans, a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head.
Tom went pale.
“Fuck.” He hissed. “He’s one of you? Then those bastards will have a reason to play dirty, right?”
Levi shrugged, averting his gaze. It was the first time I saw his eyes darken, like he was subtly telling the boy to back off.
“The Cartwright’s have been trying to buy our land for a while,” he muttered. “I wouldn't put it past them to use the Decathlon as a way to attack.”
“Attack?!” April, another member of our team, hissed. “Like, attack attack?”
Mr Hanes grabbed the boy, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders. “Ignore them,” he said. “Hey. Look at me.”
Levi did, raising a brow.
“You're losing that spark in your eye, young man.”
“Spark?”
Our coach nodded. “Look at me, kid.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “I am looking at you, Mr Hanes.”
The man was shaking. I was guessing his whole career (or coaching career) was on the line.
“They know they're losing, Mr Costella.”
Hanes shook the boy, squeezing his shoulders. “You are being positive and Ratcliffe doesn't like that. They want you to be nervous. They want to make you second guess yourself and lose confidence. Don't let them get into your head.” he smiled, giving the boy a playful shove. “Kick their asses.”
“Exactly!”
I didn't realize Sunny was back from the bathroom.
The faint smell of lemons had followed her. I noticed a wet patch on her shirt collar, though she was quick to smile at me, admitting she'd spilled water down herself. Sunny wrapped her arms around Levi, squeezing him into a hug.
She hung on for a little too long, Tom dragging her away with a laugh. “Good luck, all right?” she backed away, ruffling his hair. “We’ve got this!”
When I hugged Levi good luck too, I had to resist covering my nose.
The smell of lemon was unbearable, just like fourth grade Alex.
But it wasn't as potent as earlier.
I vaguely remembered the smell starting to fade once Alex’s body was being carted away on a stretcher.
Following my captain through the crowd, I was right. The smell was less suffocating. Before he went back to the stage, I grabbed the back of his shirt.
The material was soaking wet.
“How are you so wet?” I said, swiping my hands on my shirt.
“Huh?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Do you remember what I told you in sophomore year?”
Levi settled me with a confident, but nervous smile. “Thaaaat you're scared of clowns?”
“No. I mean the boy who smelled of lemons.” I gritted out.
Levi surprised me with a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
Something ice cold trickled down my spine.
Levi did know what I was talking about. He brought up my stink sense a day earlier in front of his parents, and I had to cover his mouth to shut him up.
Leaning close, I whispered in his ear. “You stink of rotten lemons.”
He nodded slowly, pulling away. “Uh… thanks?”
I bit back a hiss of frustration. “No, you don't understand what I'm saying–”
“Starbrooke High School,” The host announced. “Can all members please return to the stage.”
Levi held up his hand for a high five.
“Can we do this later?” He winked. “I'm kinda busy carrying this spelling-bee on my back right now.”
I nodded shakily, high fiving him, and letting him jump back onto the stage.
Before his words hit like a tidal wave, ice cold water slammed into me.
Spelling Bee?
Slowly making my way back to the stands, Levi’s mistake was circling around my head. He did win a spelling bee, but that was in middle school.
Thankfully, the smell of lemons was gone when I returned to my seat.
Mr Hanes handed me a soda. “Chill out, Cassandera, it's just a game.”
He could talk. The guy was on his fifth coffee.
Mr Hanes was not chilled out in the slightest.
Surprisingly, the event went well. I was half expecting my team to be crushed by the rafters, or caught in a blaze started in the crowd. But we were doing well. No, we were winning.
Reaching the climaxing round, Sunny choked against a smug Ratcliffe boy, joining me on the sidelines.
Levi answered the next question with a confident smile.
We were winning, but Ratcliffe could still catch up with a miracle.
The second to last question was to Ratcliffe, and it was general knowledge.
”Where on the human body would one find the *orbit?*
I knew the answer, and so did Levi, his lips breaking out into a smile when the Ratcliffe boy was hesitating, eyes wide.
Our school’s buzzer went off, Levi slamming his hand down.
Bzzz!
The host turned to our team. “Starbrooke, can I have your answer?”
Levi nodded, shooting our team a victory grin.
“It's…!“ He opened his mouth to answer, his jaw slackening suddenly.
The boy’s shoulders slumped.
“Uh… “
“Um…”
“Huhhhhh…”
Levi inclined his head, blinking, his eyes glazing over. There was a sudden, hollow vacancy that sent chills down my spine. It was like someone had reached into his skull, and yanked out his brain, leaving a shell in his place.
To my confusion, our team captain frowned at his buzzer like he'd never seen one before. He pressed it, exploding into child-like giggles.
Bzzz!
The audience laughed along nervously.
Tom nudged me. “What the fuck is he doing?”
Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz!
Levi’s entire body was slumped, his hand slamming down on the buzzer.
I caught something pooling down his chin.
“Is he… drooling?” I whispered.
Mr Hanes looked mildly horrified. “Has he been drinking?
“Levi?” Tom spluttered. “Drinking?!"
Whatever we were watching, however, was definitely influenced by… something.
Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz!
“Young man, that is not a toy!”
The host wasn't amused. “Starbrooke High School, I need an answer from you,” He nodded to Levi, who was pressing the buzzer, his smile growing.
“Once again,” The host backed away, like Levi was contagious. “Where on the human body would one find the Orbit?”
Levi cocked his head, lips parted.
His gaze found the overhead lights, and he winced, his lips curling into a frown.
“Starbrooke High School!”
Levi jumped, tipping his head back and blowing a raspberry. “Palm tree?”
The audience laughed, and I started feeling nauseous.
Across from us, I could see the twist of a smirk on the Ratcliffe coach’s lips.
Bzzz! Levi slammed the buzzer again giggling.
“Starbrooke High School, if your team member continues to act like this, I will be forced to disqualify all members.”
Our captain stopped, gaze glued to the host, his hand creeping towards the buzzer, like it was a big red button.
The audience loved it, laughing like they were watching a sitcom.
“He wouldn't.” Tom whisper-shrieked.
The auditorium was silent for a moment, awaiting Starbrooke’s response.
Levi stuck out his tongue, slamming his hand down.
Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz–
When Tom dragged Levi away from his podium, a Ratcliffe girl hit her buzzer.
“Starbrooke High School, you are disqualified,” the host announced. “Ratcliffe High School, do you have an answer?”
It was Ponytail who nodded with a grin.
“The answer is the eye socket! The Orbit is part of the eye socket!”
“That is the correct answer.” The host was distracted, his eyes glued to Levi.
“Ratcliffe High School wins.”
Levi jumped when the Ratcliffe wide erupted into cheers.
His eyes were wide, clinging onto the buzzer for comfort.
Next to me, our coach looked like he was going to faint.
I barely noticed Ratcliffe’s victory, too busy watching our team captain, who was Harvard bound, tipping his head back and smiling at the ceiling like a new-born baby. Tom dragged the stumbling boy over to me, his mouth twisted.
“This was Ratcliffe, right?” He hissed, shaking our captain, who was struggling, squirming in his grip.
“Did they put something in his drink?!” He prodded Levi. “Hey! What did they do to you?!”
Still, though, drugging his drink didn't make sense.
Levi never left the auditorium, and kept his water bottle with him the whole time.
How did they even manage to slip something into his drink in the first place?
Did I smell our competitors drugging him?
Sure, intentionally inebriating my teammate was morally wrong and illegal, but why could I smell lemon?
“I doubt it was Ratcliffe.” Sunny squeezed next to me. “I've been watching them. They're harmless.”
“Then how the fuck do we explain this to his parents?!” Tom whispered, grappling with Levi, who was fighting to get back to the buzzer.
When Tom let go of him, he dropped onto the floor, crawling over to his podium. It was like watching a child.
Who was determined to piss off the adults.
Levi jumped back to instead feet, his gaze was glued to the host, a smile curved on his lips, when he slammed the buzzer again.
Bzzz!
“Someone, please remove the Starbrooke boy from the stage!”
I was embarrassed, our whole team ducking our heads as our captain was forcibly removed from the podium.
Mr Hanes grabbed Levi, pulling him off of the stage.
I expected our coach to be mad at him, but I think the teacher was more worried, a phone pressed to his ear while he forced the boy into a sitting position.
No, I don't think it's influence from alcohol, I could hear his conversation.
Levi kept trying to get up, mesmerised by the buzzer. The teacher was firm but gentle. “Hey. Sit down, all right? Keep still.” He went back to his phone call, gently prying Levi’s eyes open.
From what I can see, there's nothing wrong. He's just kind of…
Mr Hanes swiped his own hands on his jeans. ... wet?
Team Ratcliffe came over to rub it in our faces, though I was still tuned into our coach’s hissed whispering.
Water? No, I don't think it's water. It smells… no, I haven't told his parents…
“You guys did awesome!” Ponytail's voice was sugary sweet. Too sugary.
She held the 2024 trophy, bearing a satisfied smile. I noticed the Ratcliffe members were surrounding Harry, like guards.
“Better luck next time, okay?” She held out her hand, her eyes twinkling.
“No hard feelings?”
“Control your dog.” Harry said, amused eyes flicking to Levi, who was once again sprinting back to the fucking buzzer. His eyes had visibly darkened, lips curled into a triumphant smile.
Harry Cartwright was watching Mr Hanes chase our team captain like it was his own personal entertainment.
I had to look away before I died of second hand embarrassment.
“What did you put in his drink?” Tom demanded. “Weed? Edibles?” the boy attempted to shove Harry, only to be pushed back. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Harry’s smile didn't waver. “Like I said. Control your mut.”
When the Ratcliffe team walked away, our red faced coach struggling with Levi, who was behaving progressively more erratically, informed us we were longer welcome inside the school.
Tom suggested calling an ambulance, but our coach was hesitant.
We all knew who Levi’s family were.
On the way out, Tom matched my stride. He was frowning at our team captain struggling to walk.
The way he was acting was already eyebrow raising.
But walking at an angle and being unable to stand up straight was worrying.
“I don't think they drugged his drink.” Tom muttered.
We pushed through the doors out of the school, and I revelled in the cool night air grazing my cheek. “If they did, he would be acting out of it, right? So, what's the deal with him acting like–”
“A child.” I finished for him.
“Yeah.” Tom leaned closer. “Do you think this has something to do with their turf war?”
I slapped at a bug creeping across my cheek.
Levi fell over again, this time bursting into giggles.
“Almost definitely.”
Levi was right about Ratcliffe playing dirty. I didn't realize how dirty until we were on the losers bus home. Levi was in the seat next to me, and the kid hadn't moved since we left Ratcliffe, his eyes wide, lips pulled into a dazed grin.
Bzzz!
The noise startled me from slumber. I was drooling, my head pressed against the window. Outside, the sky was pitch dark, and squinting through the glass, I couldn't get a bearing on where we were. I thought I was hearing things, but when I sat up, I heard it again.
Bzzz!
It was close.
Leaning over the boy, I glimpsed a smear of scarlet on his headrest.
I choked on my next words.
“Tom.”
Tom was in front of me, listening to music.
He didn't reply, his head of dark blonde curls nodding to the beat.
“Levi.” I managed to get out. I prodded him, and his head lolled into his shoulder. “Hey. Can you… sit up?”
Bzzz! Bzzz!
When the boy didn't move, I gently grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward myself, something contracting in my stomach.
I don't know how long it takes for your mind to fully register something, but my body was already reacting.
Levi’s seat was infested with bugs, eating their way through the upholstery. I was aware of my body moving back. I threw up, instantly, screaming into my hand.
The back of my best friend's skull resembled a deflated soccer ball, what was left of his brain leaking from his skull where a swarm of skittering bugs chewed their way through brain tissue, metallic legs scratching the curved, pearly white of the base if his skull.
Levi’s head hung, his body flopping into mine.
But his eyes were still open, lips still stretched into a smile.
Blood ran in thick rivulets from his nose and ears.
Bzzz!
I could see them, black writhing dots alive in his eyes, wriggling movement under his skin.
“Tom!”
I jumped up, stumbling into the aisle, my stomach heaving.
And it was only when I was on my knees, swiping bile from my lips, when I realized the others weren't reacting.
Tom wasn't moving.
I pulled an Airpod out of his ear, a long, slithering string of pink attached to the end.
There was a stray bug skittering across his hand, his face starting to twitch and writhe.
Moving back, I checked myself over, my hands shaking.
Head.
Shoulders.
Hair.
Clawing through it, my breath was stuck in my throat.
Arms.
Legs.
Feet.
Mr Hanes was slumped against the window, a reddish froth bubbling from his mouth.
Sunny.
I started towards the back of the bus, but all I had to see was her bowed head, half of her skull chewed through.
Sunny was in a far more deteriorated state, her face had been ripped through, a skeletal smile glinting in the dim.
The thick black smear on the window next to her was moving.
When I screamed for the driver to stop the bus, he ignored me.
If anything, he stamped on the gas.
I moved forward to shake him, before glimpsing a bug creeping down his face.
Calling 911, the operator laughed at me.
“Bugs are eating your friends.” He said. “Do you know the penalty for calling with bullshit pranks?”
The bus didn't stop, so I stayed at the front, while the bugs took over the back, eating through my teammates.
After four hours, I risked leaning over the seat next to Tom to check on Levi.
They were eating him.
Chewing all the way through skin, muscle and bone.
I tried to stop the bus, but the driver’s hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel.
Another hour, and blood was seeping down the aisle, crawling with bugs.
Levi was gone, and in his place, a buzzing skittering pile of bugs, that I thought were going to move to a second victim, maybe burrowing into the seats.
But, no.
These things began to tremble, replicating.
Building.
Slowly, nothing became static, and static became muscle.
Then bone.
Then flesh.
When a body began to slowly form, moulded from the dead boy, I stumbled back.
These things weren't eating Levi Costella.
They were rewriting him.
…
Edit: I'm still on the bus. I'm 99.9% sure that I'm infected with whatever this thing is. I can't stop fucking itching.
I keep picking them off me but they won't stop. This bus isn't going to stop until I'm like the others.
…
Edit 2:
I can feel them chewing into my skull. They're in my ears. I keep spitting them out. Please, someone get them off of me. Help me. I don't want to die at 17.
Edit 3:
Still alive. Still breathing. Maybe they're leaving me alone????? I think I'm okay. There is a pile of bugs at my feet, but they're crawling off of me.
Edit 4:
Levi really wants to go home. Like, he just told me he REALLY wants to go home. He's got a gift for his parents.
~~Edit 5 :) ~~
Levi is next to me right now, an odd smile on his face.
The bugs are not finished building him yet, but he'll be ready soon.
We will be ready soon.
Your son says hello! He is a wonderful boy, is he not?
Mr and Mrs Costella, I cannot wait for you to meet him.
He is our greatest achievement, and rest assured, you will give us what we want.
Warm regards.
The Cartwright's.

https://www.halowaypoint.com/news/spotlight-may-2024
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The Halo Spotlight is here, which means it's time once again to dive into the amazing creations made by the community. Feast your eyes!

CRÈME DE LA CRÈME

TackelsHolocron headlines this issue with an Unggoy who is about to unleash perhaps the most devastating fuel rod blast in the galaxy, drawing power from the concentrated tragedy of all their species has suffered...
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AB_RinART has a truly wonderful project going on right now, where she is adding suggested characters to a Where's Waldo -inspired mash-up of different species, characters, fan-made OCs, and more. Track the group photo project here.
(Personally, I think the Didact would have fun chilling among this lovely crowd!)
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GoatsOfHell has jumped feet-first into making this absolutely rad ODST model. Hopefully that purple comes off in the wash!
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Iklungs has a very particular style that we can't get enough of, bringing Halo Infinite 's multiplayer Spartans to life as if they came straight out of a Metal Gear game or a '90s anime.
Art by Iklungs
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BANISHED SPARTANS

Last week, we released our latest Waypoint Chronicle in support of Operation: Banished Honor. Halo: The Third Life tells the story of the rogue Spartan Ilsa Zane following the events of Hunt the Truth and how she came to join the Banished.
Since then, we've seen some incredible fan recreations of Ilsa Zane and other ideas for what Banished Spartans might look like—here's a selection for you to have a gander at!
Silent_SFM is flying an unmistakable flag...
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DaGlassMan4797 was forged in the fiery crucible of Atriox's teachings.
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lllScorchlll is sparring with superheated plasma!
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Misfein has assembled a rather intimidating fireteam.
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ONNNNNEJAM is back-to-back with their Banished brother.
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PalpyTheFrog is about to bring the hammer down with the authority and might of a Jiralhanae chieftain!
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HARUSPINE HANDICRAFTS

Spartan_052's photoshoot in his Mjolnir Mark IV armor conveys the sheer powerhouse nature of this iconic set and shows off just how stunningly detailed it is.
In his own words: "This project was an absolute beast, with so many moving pieces, and it turned out better than I could have ever dreamed! It featured an accurate undersuit, TPU gaskets for the armor plating, a resin printed helmet and visor, AND a crazy chest rig with isolating pec plates and backpack! This is without a doubt the most gorgeous suit I’ve had the pleasure of putting together, and I couldn’t have done it without a TON of help!"
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Bombarisu made a girl a promise and kept it, creating this wonderful model of their girlfriend's Spartan armor from Halo Infinite for her birthday. We hope she loved it as much as we do!
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Busters2005 has a soft spot for some of the GEN2 armor greats, like the Soldier armor depicted below!
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Cyanosaurus_Rex4 has assembled Noble Team, and if you follow the link you'll get a bonus look at Red Team as well.
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When I first glanced at what DonJacobyCreate posted, I thought it was just a screenshot snip of the Sunray 1-1 art from Halo Wars 2. Turns out, this is actually a custom model of Major Vaughan, and so let us regard it with due awe.
Art by DonJacobyCreate
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Evolution2411 has taken the Master Chief down to a deep, dark place within the substructures of a Halo ring...
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theforgerunner has found Jun-A266 keepin' cosy while on a mission.
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TheGcustoms returns once more with figures of the holy trinity of the Banished—Escharum, Jega 'Rdomnai, and Atriox.
Art by TheGcustoms
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VALIANT VIDEOS

Somehow, Halo: Custom Edition turned twenty years old earlier this month. Un-flipyappin-believable!
In many ways, Halo: Custom Edition was the foundation of Halo modding, opening up the beloved original game to an infinite horizon of possibilities. I still vividly remember watching ancient videos of driving Scarabs around, piloting the Prophets' gravity thrones, playing as different species...
In celebration of this milestone, The Vengeful 'Vadam has made a tribute video that beautifully conveys the vibe and energy of the mid-'00s Halo modding scene.
Speaking of the mid-'00s era of Halo, NotPipi has delivered a jaw-dropping fan animation titled "Battle for Mombasa," set during the events of Halo 2 when the Covenant invade Earth. Lend NotPipi just eight short minutes of your life and prepare to be amazed!
Red vs. Blue may have come to a final, poignant end, but the machinima spirit lives on in the hearts of the Halo community, using the medium to ask questions about ( checks notes ) why almost all alien species' biology conforms to inferior bipedal models.
It would appear that even the Unggoy have taken to celebrating a particular date in May...

A GATHERING OF GREATNESS

3clipserenders
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BenedictNeoh
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MyteTheGoat
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That's all, folks! We hope you enjoyed this round-up of the community's love and passion for Halo put into artistic expression. We'll be back next month to do it all over again.
All of you who had something featured in this installment should be sure to fill out the submission form so we can grant you your Unicorn of Fire rewards!
This post was made by a script written and maintained by the Halo mod team to automatically post blogs from Halo Waypoint. If you notice any issues with the text output or think this was posted by mistake, please message the mods.

See: https://ultimatecitizens.com/
I attended a screening of Ultimate Citizens on Sunday, which included the director and the man subjects of the film, Jamshid Khajavi (teacher, coach, and counselor) and two students from the Ultimate team at Hazel Wolf Elementary.
I live in less than a mile from the school in Seattle, and Greenlake where they practice in the film. My sons also play Ultimate, so I have a local perspective.
I'm not going to comment too much on the major topics of the documentary, which are about the immigrant experience, getting by as refugees in America, and issues in the family. Nor in particular about the coach who has his own immigrant story and an interesting background in long distance endurance events, such as swimming the Straits of Gibraltar, etc.
I think I want to ask the question: Is this a film about Ultimate and how so?
Coach Jamshid explains before he knew Ultimate he thought Soccer was the best sport in the world.
The reasons that Ultimate is uniquely regarded are presented as: 1) It brings boys and girls together on the same team and forces them to work together. In 5th grade girls are often taller and have advantage over boys. 2) It requires that players know the rules themselves and can settle disputes themselves. Rather than get angry and argue with a referee, decisions need to be made by both sides.
Since most the kids presented on this team have both parents working, they are only able to practice during lunch and after school. The coach offers to drive the kids home, and he considers it part of his duty to support the program.
The kids don't play in leagues or do games on weekends, mostly because (again) parents are busy working and transportation is hard. But they often play each other.
Coach Jamshid does make a bid for the weekend "biggest in the world" youth ultimate tournament, Spring Reign, and the team is accepted. (Not all teams are accepted due to space limitations.)
Since many in the audience likely didn't know the rules of Ultimate, the director presented just two rules: 1) How to score: By catching the disc in the end zone. 2) There are no referees, thus disputes are settled by both teams. I'm not sure more really needed to be explained, but I think the audience laughed about how short the list was. (Maybe mention, once you catch the disc you can't run with it?)
The movie goes briefly into the tournament bracket and how the Hazel Wolf team (spoiler) took first place. Though, since they were said to practice every day, sometimes twice a day, it wasn't too much of a surprise. Most youth teams in elementary school practice and play only 2 hours a week.
What are my thoughts? This is a great movie to sell Ultimate to parents, and I hope it encourages the development of the sport at more schools. It really highlighted how Ultimate brings people together, how it teaches children to make decisions, cooperate, grow by themselves, and for the most part keeps adults off the field.
The rest of it was touching and it was great to see Seattle on the screen, especially places my kids go all the time.
Other things to mention:
The film was shot 2014-2017–so the movie took about 10 years to finish. (That seemed excessive but I hear not uncommon for documentary movie makers to take a long time to finish and release.)
Hazel Wolf elementary is now a STEM/magnet school. At the time of shooting, Hazel Wolf's new school building was being built, so the students were located at John Marshal "Alternative" High. (Since then I don't know if Hazel Wolf still has a large under-served/minority student body or not.)
Since ~2020, a separate event Spring Jam has spun off of Spring Reign, which is just for elementary school students.
The screening of Ultimate Citizens was preceded by a short documentary about Quiddich in Uganda, which was humorous and touching in a similar way.
Ultimate is still a non-traditional sport but documentaries like this show that it has its place over youth favorites like soccer and baseball.

My stepson is 14. We have a great relationship and have bonded greatly through soccer. One problem is that, though I've gone through D1 sports before, I don't really know how the soccer ranks work and I don't know exactly how good he is. Last year, he was invited to two national talent ID camps and scouts placed him among the top 20 forwards in his age group in the nation (which was actually a disappointment for his expectations going into the camps but I played no role in those expectations). He is currently playing in the top division of the top league in our region and travels 6-8 weekends a year for soccer.
Soccer existed for him before I was his stepdad but I've never seen him happier than when things are working on the soccer field. Lately, however, things haven't been working for him as much. He seems to be trying harder than ever but everything looks much more difficult for him than it used to be - as though he's having to force himself to play at a high level where, before, it was natural. His team has been through some changes and he's not being fed the ball as much as he was when they were winning games and championships. His touches are going down and it really seems to be dragging him down emotionally. A few months ago, I told him that he should talk to his coach about the fact that he does not seem to be getting the touches he used to get but that only seems to have accelerated the lack of touches and playtime.
His team tracks basic statistics and his team is actually a winning team when he's on the field. That said, they had a pretty rough season overall with only 2 wins and 2 draws across a 16 game season. And, if we're being honest, I know my stepson has been frustrated with his teammates and does not seem like a particularly popular kid on the team.
After his last game, which his team actually won, I found him in his room crying. He had only played about 35% of the game although his play was solid and he had a great goal. He didn't want to talk about it but I think he was worried that his team was going to figure out how to win without him and he wouldn't be needed anymore. It was so upsetting to me that I called his coach and just asked why he wasn't playing. The coach told me that he didn't fit in with the other kids well, had a bad attitude, and wasn't starting material anymore. When I pointed out that my stepson's shifts were the most successful for the team on their own statistics tracking and that the team had a +10 goal differential with him on the field and a -14 goal differential with him off the field, I was told that I don't understand soccer. He might be right because it was hard for me to understand how, across 16 games, my stepson could lead the team in assists, be second on the team in goals, have the highest goal differential, and still not be starting material. I might not get it at all and, since I love the kid, I'm definitely biased so I feel really out of my depth.
We had a parent meeting about it but it did not go super well with his mom and dad fighting about old choices that no longer matter and, obviously, they did a great job getting their son to where he is now. At the end of it, they could both tell that they were overly emotionally invested in his soccer and asked me to take the lead. So now I'm here, over my head, seeing if you have any wisdom.
My stepson says that soccer remains his top priority but he doesn't seem to have many opinions about where he plays or really anything else about the game. He seems so defeated by all of the choices and drama. He does have numerous recruiting offers for other clubs and competitors of his primary team but I was thinking about trying to find a fun team for him to play on for a year. He also has professional offers but we've dismissed them because he's 14, the money is not significant, and he's actually doing very well in school. I really feel like he's going to be able to combine his athletics and academics into a great school choice down the road.
I floated the idea of him playing on his high school team but I was told that the high school team is significantly worse than his current club and it could hold back his development greatly. Any tips? I feel like I'm watching something die in him and I would do almost anything to see him be back to where he was when he was winning and having fun.
Any tips?

There has been a lot of discourse surrounding the name and mascot vote for the team, and I wanted to lay out what I believe makes a good team name, as well as which of the popular choices best fit.
For this purpose, I’ll use the most common names I see thrown around as potential favorites from what was included in the official vote:

• Outlaws
• Mammoth
• Yeti
• Swarm
• Mountaineers
• Black Diamonds

1 The name should have ties to the location of the team

I understand that there are a number of teams that don’t have any connection to where they are based out of, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a somewhat dumb argument to make. For the vast majority of teams, the name has some reason. It can be something historical like the Jazz being passed on from New Orleans and is now part of Utah’s history even though we don’t have a raging jazz scene. It can be tied in with the local wildlife or geographical surroundings of the area like the Coyotes were in Arizona. I could go on with more examples, but the point is:
We are choosing a new name to represent Utah’s NHL team, and that name should represent Utah.
From this requirement, we can narrow down the list to the following possible names:

• Outlaws - History of outlaws in Utah from Butch Cassidy to the Sundance Kid
• Mammoth - Mammoth remains have been found here
• Swarm - Known as the “Beehive State”
• Mountaineers - Mountains. Not really needing much of an explanation
• Black Diamonds - Known for skiing and snowboarding

2 The name should be unique to the major professional sports

I understand that some (looking at you Colorado) are up in arms about their precious Lacrosse teams that are already using the names Mammoth and Outlaws. Unfortunately, It’s going to be near impossible to find a name that is good, and hasn’t been used somewhere before. As long as we’re keeping it unique within the major leagues, it doesn’t really matter if some lacrosse, ultimate frisbee, or your cousin's little league team shares a name. The Utah NHL team would immediately become the most popular team with those names. The vast majority of people you’d ask would have never heard of any of those teams before. Not a knock on the sport itself, but sharing a name with a lacrosse team is an absolute non issue. It’s just not popular enough to make a difference. If anything, maybe it helps draw some attention to the existing team.
They left out names that people really like (Raptors) because it’s already in use for a large professional team. You have to draw the line somewhere, because it’s going to be too hard to have a 100% original name that checks all the boxes.
None of the names remaining are already in use among the 4 major leagues, so we can just move on.

3 The name should be cool and provide a unique branding opportunity

This one is more self explanatory. It can come down to opinion, but since it’s my post, I’ll give mine. I think all of these are unique, but Mountaineers feels like the branding would be easy to fall short. It has potential, but there’s also a chance to get something really boring and generic. The others feel more fool proof, so we’ll remove Mountaineers here.

• Outlaws
• Mammoth
• Swarm
• Black Diamonds

4 The name should flow of the tongue nicely

This one is an awkward one to qualify one name over the other. None of the remaining names have a real alliteration, Yeti being the closest as the start of Utah and Yeti have a similar sound. Utah Outlaws has a near rhyme with the -ah and -law.
While those fit the best, I don’t feel that any are serious offenders of coming out of the mouth awkwardly. For the sake of narrowing the list down, I’ll remove Black Diamonds since it’s just a little bit of a mouthful.
This leaves the list here, with Outlaws having a slight edge in this category:

• Outlaws
• Mammoth
• Swarm

From here, it’s just a matter of choosing your favorite of the remaining names.
The last point really could be finding the name that feels the most "classic". New team names usually stand out from the rest of the league that has old names, established in history. Look at the Oilers compared to the Kraken. It doesn't quite feel right.
To me, Swarm sounds a little XFL/WNBAish. I wouldn’t hate it, but I think it’s the worst of the remaining names.
Mammoth is cool and fits the “cold” theme that they are apparently in love with based off the other names, but the name that I feel check all of the boxes the best is clearly Outlaws.
Classic sounding name with historical ties to Utah, feels like it should already be a team in one of the 4 major leagues but is somehow still available to be claimed and uniquely used, is easy and cool branding, and rhymes with Utah to make it come off the tongue easily. It can also be shortened to “Laws” which is equally cool.
Please vote accordingly.
Tl;dr There are some decent options, but Outlaws checks all the boxes.