My co-workers and I have all taken the Gallup Strengths Finder quiz, which gives you your top 5 strengths. There are 34 strengths, each belonging to one of four categories. Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, and Strategic Thinking.
I am trying to create a Power BI that will display the categories of strengths and the five strengths of each of my co-workers and compare it to a different test we have taken called Widget. Does anyone have suggestions?

Welcome to "That Pokémon Survivor: Fantasy Strait"! 🌟 In this magical adventure, a new generation of competitors arrives to test their mettle in a realm where unevolved Pokémon collide with their fully evolved Pokémon. Set amidst the mystical landscapes of Fantasy Strait, contestants are divided into tribes based on their evolutionary stage, embarking on a journey of discovery and transformation. Get ready for enchanting alliances, spellbinding rivalries, and the ultimate quest for survival in a world where evolution reigns supreme! 🌿✨

Watch the season here!

I hope you enjoy it and please give your thoughts so I can know if you like this series!

Cast:

Ipuê Tribe:

• Eve (Aromatisse) - A feisty Aromatisse with a competitive streak, eager to compete against her sister Ava. Submitted by
• Greta (Ampharos) - A hard worker aiming to earn the respect of her tribe. Submitted by
• Linny (Butterfree) - A scholarly Butterfree eager to teach others. Submitted by
• Lua (Lunala) - Cheerful and bubbly, hoping to make friends and win with honor. Submitted by
• Marshal (Leavanny) - A park ranger seeking to clear his head and support his struggling family. Submitted by
• Pablo (Machamp) - A former boxer turned snowboarder, aiming for victory on the slopes. Submitted by
• Ross (Fearow) - Feared by everyone, seeking betrayal and destruction. Submitted by
• Scarlett (Meowscarada) - An entertainer seeking to make the game more entertaining. Submitted by
• Sheridan (Chesnaught) - A protector and provider from the Kalos forest, relying on honor and strength. Submitted by
• Spork (Arcanine) - A loyal Arcanine looking to win for his trainer back home. Submitted by

Opá Tribe:

• Ava (Spritzee) - A shy Spritzee joining to break out of her shell, encouraged by her sister Eve. Submitted by
  
• Baa (Mareep) - A grass-eating Mareep with a mysterious background. Submitted by
  
• Ecolie (Zigzagoon) - A naive environmentalist Zigzagoon who cares about the environment. Submitted by
  
• Flap (Spearow) - A kind-hearted Spearow always ready to help others. Submitted by
  
• Lucian (Clauncher) - A Clauncher seeking to build bonds, see the world, and toughen himself up. Submitted by
  
• Neb (Cosmog) - Smart and underestimated, planning to take the game when least expected. Submitted by
  
• Pear (Piplup) - A Piplup hoping to find a true home and win recognition. Submitted by
  
• Thomas (Eevee) - A social media enthusiast aiming for success and fame. Submitted by
  
• Winston (Psyduck) - A professional guitarist hoping to escape his troubled past. Submitted by
  
• Wormy (Sewaddle) - Determined to prove her true skill set despite being underestimated. Submitted by
  

Season summary
Chapter 1: "Evolved at Heart"
Twenty new castaways strolled along the pristine, yet dazzling Fantasy Strait terrain to compete in That Pokémon Survivor's seventeenth season. Randomly split into two groups of ten, first impressions began to form. After a long walk to their first order of business, the two groups met at a beach. The castaways were shocked that the groups formed would not be their tribes; instead, there would be two tribes: Opá Tribe, consisting of first-form Pokémon, and Ipuê Tribe, composed of final forms. A "Medallion of Power" was hidden around the beach, promising advantage to the finder's tribe. As the undivided survivors frantically scoured the beach, Ipuê emerged victorious, opting to keep the Medallion. Opá received fire and fishing gear. In the tribes' first Immunity Challenge, Ipuê wielded the Medallion's power for a head start, ultimately securing immunity. Meanwhile, back at camp, Ross and Sheridan had a minor disagreement about shelter construction, with Ross ultimately deciding to let Sheridan work on the shelter while he strategized. Ross formed an alliance with Linny, Pablo, and Scarlett, leveraging their diverse strengths and connections. In Opá Tribe, Ecolie and Lucian united over shared values, enlisting Wormy. Pear and Winston bonded over mutual experiences, while Baa and Wormy found solidarity in their differences. Tribal tensions rose as Pear was targeted for elimination by Ava and followed by Wormy's alliance, resulting in a 6-4 vote against Baa at tribal council.
Pear: "Maybe I'm not cut out for this game... but I won't stop believing in myself."
Chapter 2: "Defeat Makes Us Cowards"
As the new tribes take shape, underlying tensions surface. In Ipuê, Ross, feared and seeking betrayal, questions Spork's loyalty, perceiving his easy life as a weakness. Meanwhile, in Opá, Ava's shyness leads her to view Neb's intelligence as threatening, and Wormy's resentment towards Winston simmers from his perceived privilege. During the immunity challenge, Opá surrenders the Medallion of Power for an advantage, ultimately winning immunity and rewards. Back at camp, Marshal and Scarlett clash, while Spork and Sheridan's dispute divides the tribe. Ross and Scarlett, focused on strategy, form a second alliance for internal control. With the tribe split between Sheridan and Spork, Marshal plots to target Eve. Ross and Scarlett's alliance sets their sights on Sheridan due to Ross's longstanding issues with him. In Opá, Wormy deciphers the idol clue but faces suspicion from Neb and Flap, leading her to align with them and Lucian, abandoning her alliance with Ecolie. At tribal council, Marshal's plan backfires, resulting in Sheridan's blindsided eviction by an 8-2 vote in favor of Eve.
Sheridan: "Despite the disappointment, my commitment to kindness and trust endures."
Chapter 3: "Sparks in Their Eyes"
In the Ipuê tribe, tensions run high as egos clash amidst chaos. However, amidst the turmoil, Eve discovers the Hidden Immunity Idol. At the immunity challenge, both tribes compete in a race to collect barrels and land sandbags on top of them. Ipuê, wielding the Medallion of Power, secures an advantage, winning immunity along with a basket of fruits and spices. Back at camp, Linny and Spork bond, leading to talks of forming an alliance, much to Pablo's dismay. Despite Pablo's jealousy, Linny accepts Spork's proposal for a majority alliance, sidelining Pablo. Meanwhile, in Opá, frustrations arise as Thomas blames Baa for their loss, sparking discussions about voting her out or blindsiding Thomas. Ecolie and Lucian contemplate aligning with Baa, while Flap rallies the tribe against her. At tribal council, Baa is ousted in a 6-3 vote against Thomas, leaving Ecolie and Lucian in a precarious position.
Baa: "Baa-bye to the game, I'll keep on being the black sheep wherever I go."
Chapter 4: "Pulling the Trigger"
In Ipuê, Linny, Ross, and Scarlett assert their dominance, aligning with all players except Marshal and Luna. Meanwhile, in Opá, Lucian and Ecolie regain strength after voting with the minority, knowing they can still shift the game. At the immunity challenge, Opá surrenders the Medallion of Power for an advantage but falls short as Ipuê clinches immunity. Ipuê also gains rewards for their victory. Back at camp, tensions rise as Eve and Luna clash over tarp adjustments, while Ross distances himself from the alliance with Pablo, trusting Linny and Scarlett to handle it. In Opá, Winston seeks to make a big move, targeting Flap, but his plans diverge from Ava and Wormy's desires to eliminate Neb and Ecolie, respectively. Flap grows enraged at Winston's betrayal, rallying support against him, but Lucian convinces the tribe to blindside Thomas instead, fearing retaliation. Thomas is stunned by his blindside eviction, leaving Winston and Ava anxious about their positions in the tribe.
Thomas: "Left the tribe, now I can get connected online again."
Chapter 5: "Turf Wars"
A twist shakes the tribes as Marshal and Ecolie are chosen as captains, each tasked with selecting members for their respective tribes. Ecolie chooses Scarlett, Ross, Pablo, and Lua for Opá, while Marshal selects Neb, Ava, and Wormy for Ipuê. At the new Ipuê, former Opá members find themselves in the minority, worsened by their discordant relationships. Wormy, holding an idol, relishes her advantage, while Ava remains oblivious to Eve's hidden agenda. In the new Opá, alliances dissolve as the tribes split evenly. Lucian aligns with Ecolie and Flap, while Ross and Scarlett form a new partnership. With no medallion, the new Ipuê claims reward, while the new Opá secures immunity. Back at camp, Greta impresses the tribe, sparking discussions within the majority alliance about trusting Ross on the other tribe. Marshal devises a plan to blindside Eve, unaware that Neb intends to use this information to gain trust. Meanwhile, Ava misinterprets the tribe dynamics, targeting Spork, oblivious to the truth. With Marshal's plan being exposed, Eve's alliance opts to vote out Marshal first. At Opá, communication falters, leading to conflicts between Pablo and Winston, and Flap with Scarlet and Lua. Pablo, ready for a new game, distances himself from Scarlett and Linny. Exhausted by the tension, Flap seeks solace in a new sleeping spot. At Ipuê's tribal council, Ava's plan to vote Spork succeeds, resulting in a tie between Spork and Marshal, with Marshal unanimously voted out in the revote as Opá members sever their loyalty to him.
Marshal: "I was a victim of shifting allegiances. I should've seen it coming"
Chapter 6: "Worst Case Scenario"
Spork expresses gratitude for surviving, with Linny promising unwavering support. At the combined immunity and tribal reward challenge, Eve secures immunity for Ipuê, while Ecolie achieves the same for Opá, ensuring their safety for the next three days. The final round sees Eve and Ecolie competing for the tribal reward, with Ecolie emerging victorious for Opá. They will celebrate with a feast of while observing Ipuê's Tribal Council. Back at Ipuê camp, Neb tries to sway Greta to target Ava, but Greta cites Eve's influence as a deterrent. Eve, content with immunity, observes the dynamics. Ava sees Wormy as the target, but Eve rallies her alliance against Neb, aiming to protect her sister. In Opá, Winston and Lua discuss potential merge strategies, with Lua proposing Flap as a target. Lucian and Flap note Neb's favorable position in the rival tribe and debate potential targets. Lucian agrees with Flap to target Lua but secretly aligns with Ecolie to target Ross, attempting to sway the tribe's votes. Amidst the chaos, Scarlet advocates for voting out an old Opá member. At tribal councils, Ross is voted out 4-3-1 against Lua and Flap, while Neb faces a 5-2 vote against Ava.
Ross: "In the end, it's every 'mon for themselves."
Neb: "This was just a temporary setback on my road to triumph."
Chapter 7: "Family Comes Second"
tension brews among the remaining original Opá members in the Ipuê tribe. Ava is infuriated by Wormy's attempt to vote her out at the last tribal council, unaware of Wormy's idol to protect herself. During the Reward challenge, Opá triumphs, earning a visit to a ranch for breakfast. Next day, at the immunity challenge, Opá secures victory, breaking all of Ipuê's tiles, ensuring their safety for another tribal council. Back at Ipuê camp, Greta suggests targeting Ava, leading to a heated confrontation between her and Eve, who advocates for a different approach. Ava seeks sympathy from Linny, while Wormy employs a strategic move, showcasing her value by providing food for the tribe. Ava, fearing for her safety, attempts to sway her sister to vote for Spork, but Eve insists on targeting Wormy. The majority alliance devises a split vote between Ava and Wormy to counter any potential idol play, instructing them to vote for each other. In Opá, tensions rise between Ecolie and Lucian, prompting Flap and Winston to contemplate intervention, but they struggle to reach a consensus. Ecolie, seeking new alliances, forms a bond with Lua, who suggests an alliance with Pablo. At Ipuê's tribal council, Wormy plays her idol, nullifying three votes against her, while the remaining three votes are cast against Ava, resulting in her elimination from the game.
Ava: "Despite the crucible of betrayal, I found strength in sisterhood, I'm sure Eve will do great"
Chapter 8: "When Company Arrives"
The long-awaited merge finally arrives, bringing the two tribes together as one. Wormy rejoices at reuniting with her allies Flap and Lucian, while Linny and Scarlet reflect on their strong bond formed since the beginning of the game. Scarlet also considers her deepening connection with Pablo, envisioning them as finalists. At the first immunity challenge of the merge, contestants must maintain tension on a steel bar using two metal handles. Spork and Ecolie emerge victorious, earning immunity for both the last male and female standing. Back at camp, Scarlet and Pablo discuss their performance in the challenge, with Scarlet attributing her loss to Pablo's distraction. The merged tribe grapples with the looming threat of becoming targets, with Lua fearlessly advocating for blindsiding Eve. Linny and Scarlet contemplate targeting an Opá member to avoid turning against their own, considering Flap as a potential target. However, the Opá members rally to vote out Eve, shifting the focus. Unsure of their next move, Eve and her alliance strategize to counter the impending blindside, ultimately deciding to target Lua. At tribal council, Eve's insecurity prompts her to play her idol, nullifying six votes against her. In a surprising turn of events, Lua is eliminated in a 4-2 vote against Flap, becoming the first member of the jury.
Lua: "I depart with a heart full of fond memories and a spirit that will never be extinguished."
Chapter 9: "Bets and Berries"
Winston finds solace in Wormy's company after voting with the minority in the previous tribal council. During the reward challenge, the tribe is split into two teams, competing in an obstacle course to retrieve keys. Pablo, not participating, correctly predicts the winning team, earning a tour of the jungle canopy and a barbecue feast.At the immunity challenge, contestants must memorize and replicate a series of symbols. Pablo emerges victorious, securing immunity for himself. Back at camp, Lucian discovers a secret area in the forest abundant with berries, impressing the tribe with their deliciousness. Meanwhile, Ecolie attempts to mend fences with Eve after her previous vote against her. Greta becomes wary of Eve's interactions with the Opá members and advocates for her elimination, but her alliance, led by Linny, sets their sights on Ecolie instead. Feeling marginalized within the Ipuê alliance, Pablo seizes the opportunity to make a power move and targets Spork for elimination. The tribe becomes divided between Ecolie and Spork. At tribal council, Pablo's plan succeeds as Spork is voted out in a 6-5 vote against Ecolie, marking a significant shift in the dynamics of the merged tribe.
Spork: "I can't help but feel a sense of betrayal at Pablo's alliance shift. I think his actions have shattered the bonds of trust within the tribe."
Chapter 10: "Stuck in the Middle"
Pablo solidifies his position of power by discovering the Yvyra'i Hidden Immunity Idol, further enhancing his influence within the tribe. The remaining Opá members grow increasingly tight-knit, posing a threat to the Ipuê members' game. Following the reward challenge, the castaways face an intense immunity challenge requiring them to maintain their grip on a rope while leaning over water. Once again, Pablo emerges victorious, securing immunity for himself. Back at camp, Pablo struggles with the pressure of his leadership role, experiencing a major meltdown. Winston reflects on his contributions to camp life, hoping they will earn him favor with the tribe. Despite the tensions from the previous tribal council, Greta remains steadfast in her campaign to eliminate Eve, confident in her alliance with Pablo and the Opá members. However, Wormy contemplates blindsiding Ecolie as a strategic move for her own game. Pablo entertains the idea of flipping alliances again, but only if the Ipuê members agree to vote out Winston. However, the tribe opts for a less divisive option, choosing to target Ecolie instead. At tribal council, Eve finds herself helpless as the votes stack up against her, resulting in a 7-3 elimination in favor of Ecolie.
Eve: "In the end, the loyalty faltered, my sisterhood was shattered, and I faced my demise."
Chapter 11: "Third With a Charm"
Scarlett recognizes the need for a game-changing move and strategically aligns herself with Lucian, viewing him as a key player among the Opá members. Meanwhile, Winston harbors resentment towards Pablo for targeting him. During the reward challenge, Pablo once again abstains from participation but successfully predicts the winning team, earning them an advanced movie screening and snacks. At the immunity challenge, Pablo secures his third consecutive victory, raising concerns among the other tribemates about his growing threat level. Back at camp, tensions rise as Greta inadvertently sparks conflict by openly discussing Lucian's perceived threat level. Pablo aims to target Flap, but Wormy advocates for blindsiding Ecolie, believing it to be an opportune moment with the Ipuê members in the minority. Ecolie and Lucian consider voting out Greta, but Wormy persuades Lucian to turn on Ecolie instead. Sensing the impending danger, Pablo advises Ecolie to target Flap for survival. At tribal council, Pablo surprises everyone by playing his idol for Ecolie, nullifying five votes. With Flap's elimination in a 3-1 vote against Greta.
Flap: "In the end, my kindness falls prey to the game's harsh reality."
Chapter 12: "Where It Starts Is Where It Finishes"
Tensions between Winston and Pablo escalate, hindering their ability to work together at camp. To everyone's surprise, Greta emerges victorious at the Immunity Challenge, disrupting the power dynamics within the tribe. Back at camp, Winston discovers the Yvyra'i Hidden Immunity Idol, boosting his confidence in the game. He confides in Wormy about the challenges of coexisting with someone he doesn't trust, particularly Pablo and Ecolie, whom they perceive as growing closer. Ecolie and Pablo strategize on securing their positions in the game, recognizing the need for a strong alliance to navigate through to the end. They rally Linny, Greta, and Scarlet, who have been on the outskirts, to form a new alliance aimed at controlling the game's trajectory. As tensions rise, Wormy sees an opportunity to target Ecolie, leveraging his exhaustion and strained social relationships. However, the ongoing conflict between Winston and Pablo overshadows their plans. Greta grows frustrated with the rivalries, realizing their detrimental impact on their game, but struggles to sway the others to target Lucian. Ecolie and Wormy find themselves unable to gather enough votes against each other, as the tribe remains divided by the Winston-Pablo feud. At tribal council, Winston shocks everyone by using his idol on himself, nullifying four votes against him. The remaining four votes are cast against Pablo, resulting in his blindside and making him the fifth member of the jury. Ecolie's unexpected vote further adds to the tribe's shock and confusion.
Pablo: "Every move I made was. calculated, but in the end, the game's whispers grew louder, I am curious to know who was the flipper of my alliance."
Chapter 13: "When The Torch Is Snuffed"
The camp experiences a temporary calmness following Pablo's departure, but Winston seeks out a new rivalry, considering Scarlet due to their existing animosity. Lucian secures victory in the reward challenge, a revisit of past challenges, and shares the reward with his closest allies, Wormy and Ecolie, fostering reconciliation and unity among them. Ecolie emerges triumphant in the immunity challenge, prompting laughter over Pablo's absence, a formidable competitor in challenges. Back at camp, Ecolie and Wormy's bond strengthens after Lucian's reward, realizing their potential as allies. Linny reflects on her frustrations with recent challenges but remains determined to persevere. As targets begin to emerge, tensions rise within the tribe, with Lucian and Greta targeting each other, and Winston eyeing Linny for elimination. Scarlet, aiming to protect her ally, resolves to take action against Winston, who has been stirring trouble. With Scarlet's persuasion, the allies align to vote against Winston. However, Ecolie finds herself conflicted over the target. At tribal council, a surprising tie arises between Winston and Greta, with Ecolie's solitary vote cast against Wormy. In the revote, Ecolie faces the critical decision of who to send home. Ultimately, Ecolie chooses to vote out his former tribemate Winston, ensuring Greta's survival in the game.
Winston: "From the shadows of my past to the tumult of the present, this journey has been an amazing crescendo of chaos. I had a lot of fun."
Chapter 14: "Friendship Fantasies"
With only six players remaining, the tribe is evenly split between three original Opá members and three from Ipuê. Wormy discovers the new hidden idol, securing a valuable advantage for herself. Grateful for Ecolie's previous actions, Greta expresses her appreciation towards her. The following day brings a loved ones challenge, injecting a dose of emotion into the game. Castaways race to retrieve puzzle pieces, which their loved ones must then use to solve a word puzzle. Lucian's best friend Stella emerges victorious, granting Lucian a well-deserved reward. He shares this reward once again with his closest allies, Wormy and Ecolie, fostering their bond during a sailboat trip along the Fantasy Strait coast. Buoyed by the confidence from the loved ones challenge, Lucian clinches immunity, further solidifying his position in the game. Back at camp, Wormy, feeling secure with her idol, strategizes on targeting Ecolie. However, Lucian leverages his immunity to orchestrate a blindside against Greta. Scarlet sees an opportunity to eliminate Wormy, banking on Ecolie's vote against her. Ecolie, torn between her promises to Lucian and Scarlet, struggles to make a decision. At tribal council, insecure about Ecolie, Wormy plays her idol, nullifying the votes against her. This move results in Greta's departure in a 2-0 vote.
Greta: "As the lone warrior in a sea of alliances, I've fought tooth and nail to earn my place in this game. In the end, only one wins, and it's not going to be me."
Final Chapter Intro:
Welcome to the final chapter of That Pokémon Survivor: Fantasy Strait, where unevolved Pokémon fought against those that reached their final form. Only 5 players remained, each has navigated the treacherous waters of the game with their unique strategies and resilience. Ecolie, despite being targeted numerous times, has defied the odds through resourcefulness and the power of friendship. Linny began the game dominantly during the tribal phase but struggled to maintain control after the merge. Lucian has served as a vital link between allies, utilizing his social skills to build strategic alliances. Scarlett, often on the outskirts of the majority alliance, has showcased remarkable resilience, surviving multiple elimination rounds and emerging as an underdog contender. Meanwhile, Wormy's aggressive strategic gameplay has shaped many pivotal moments in the game, utilizing her keen ability to read the room to her advantage. As we approach the climax of this thrilling season, the stage is set for an epic showdown. Who will emerge victorious and claim the title of sole survivor? Stay tuned as the final chapter unfolds.
Final Chapter Part 1:
As the finale unfolds, tensions rise among the remaining contestants. Lucian, recognizing the need to solidify alliances, strategizes to align Ecolie and Wormy's votes with his own. Ecolie secures immunity in a challenging Fantasy Strait history quiz. Back at camp, Linny sees Lucian as a formidable threat and pushes for his elimination. Meanwhile, Lucian contemplates the danger posed by Scarlet's potential to sway the jury with a compelling final speech. However, Ecolie has her own agenda, seeing an opportunity to rid herself of her long-standing nemesis, Wormy. With alliances shifting and agendas clashing, the final decision hangs in the balance. Lucian attempts to sway Ecolie and Wormy to vote alongside him, while Scarlet and Linny plan to target Lucian. However, Ecolie's last-minute alliance with Scarlet and Linny throws a wrench into Lucian's strategy, resulting in a blindsided elimination. In a dramatic tribal council, the votes reveal the depth of the alliances and the unpredictability of the game. Wormy's torch is snuffed out as the final five contestants edge closer to the ultimate prize.
Wormy: "I always knew that Ecolie held the power to dictate my fate in this game, and ultimately, she chose to cut ties with me."
Final Chapter Part 2:
As the final four face off, the stakes couldn't be higher. With two players from each original tribe remaining, the dynamics are delicately balanced. Lucian finds himself in a precarious position, knowing that Scarlet harbors resentment towards him for his previous betrayal attempt. Meanwhile, Linny and Ecolie share a moment of reflection on the beach, recognizing the significance of reaching the final stretch of the game. With the end in sight, they both contemplate the potential outcome of the finale. In a last-ditch effort to secure safety, the remaining contestants face off in the season's final immunity challenge. Balancing a sword on a shield while stacking coins precariously tests their physical and mental endurance. Ecolie emerges victorious, clinching the coveted final immunity necklace. Back at camp, the tension is palpable as Linny and Lucian launch campaigns against each other, each vying for a spot in the final three. Ecolie sees an opportunity to target Scarlet, but neither Linny nor Lucian are willing to make a deal. At Tribal council, vote ends in a tie between Linny and Lucian, forcing a nerve-wracking revote. With the pressure mounting, Ecolie succumbs to persuasion from Linny and Scarlet, ultimately sealing Lucian's fate as the final member of the jury. With Lucian's torch extinguished, the stage is set for the epic conclusion as the final three contestants prepare to plead their cases to the jury, vying for the title of sole survivor.
Lucian: "While I understand the need of strategic gameplay, I can't help but feel a twinge of resentment towards Ecolie's decision of not giving me a chance to prove myself in the fire-making challenge."
Final Tribal Council:
As the sun sets on Fantasy Strait, the final three contestants—Ecolie, Linny, and Scarlet—face the daunting task of convincing the jury why they deserve to be crowned the sole survivor.
Ecolie steps forward, recounting her journey of survival and adaptability. She emphasizes her strategic prowess in forging alliances with both sides of the tribe divide, navigating treacherous waters with finesse. However, the bitterness of the jury towards her is palpable, with only Winston coming to her defense amidst confrontational remarks from the rest.
Linny follows, reflecting on her early dominance in the majority alliance and the stark shift to minority status post-merge. She highlights her resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity, showcasing her ability to pivot and thrive in the ever-changing landscape of the game.
Lastly, Scarlet delivers a lighthearted yet poignant acknowledgment of her position on the outskirts of strategic decision-making. Instead of focusing on her gameplay, she highlights the importance of her close relationships and her ability to survive through trust and loyalty. Her words resonate with the jury, evoking a sense of empathy and admiration.
As the jury deliberates, it becomes evident that they are divided between Linny and Scarlet. Both finalists have compelling underdog stories, but it ultimately boils down to who played the best social game and whose journey resonated the most with the jury.
In a glimpse of some early jury votes, Winston casts his ballot in favor of Ecolie, acknowledging her strategic gameplay. Lucian, swayed by Scarlet's emotional plea, opts to support her cause. Greta, impressed by Linny's adaptability, throws her support behind her.
With the jury's decision hanging in the balance, the final votes will determine the fate of these Survivor contenders and solidify the legacy of Fantasy Strait's ultimate survivor.
Reunion:
Scarlet's charismatic persona proves influential as she secures the title of sole survivor with a 5-3-1 victory against Linny and Ecolie. Neb earns the distinction of Fan Favorite for the season. As the Most Strategic award is unveiled, Linny claims third place for her early game dominance, while Lucian's formidable gameplay lands him in second, narrowly missing the top spot. Ultimately, Wormy is recognized as the season's most strategic player for her bold and game-changing moves.
Winner: _____Scarlet_____
Runner-Up:>! _____Linny______!<
2nd Runner-Up: _____Ecolie____
Fan Favorite: _____Neb_____
My thoughts: This season was quite complicated to explain as there were many twists, maybe the 5 idol plays made it so crazy, no-one was in a power position the full season and it is crazy that was on the outs for most of the votes ended up winning, I feel like I couldn't explain that very well on the writings despite feeling that neither Ecolie or Linny could have games strong enough to win, Ecolie made many unnecessary betrayals and the jury seemed not liking her at all, while Linny had a more strategic game than Scarlet but lacked on the social part, so she couldn't gather empathy. It was a fun and unpredictable season though. I'd love to know how the fan-favorite award works because my favorite of the season is Winston and his chaotic game.
With the conclusion of the season, the stage is set for a new chapter as a teaser reveals the return of two rival players in a Redemption Island season.

Give a candid description of yourself (who are you as a person), stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words, maximum)
This prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks, and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses.
My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* twice in the prompt. Then they added “who you are as a person” in more recent years after that didn’t fully get the point across. This is the top error that people make. The rest of the application is about work. Leave it alone on this one essay.
For example, one of my candidates has a strength of organizing groups or initiatives “on the cheap” that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell.’
Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.) If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input.
Some helpful tools include the StrengthsFinder assessment. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. 16 Personalities is a free and useful way to get in greater touch with your strengths and weaknesses, and to find language that will help describe you. And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values . This last tool will help you use personal anecdotes to reverse engineer your strengths.
There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insights they bear will be useful across the board.
The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done.
Please don’t overtly brag in this essay. The best approach is to speak directly, from the heart and demonstrate self-awareness. With this question, you have the chance to build trust and make an emotional connection with the adcom.
So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person. When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection is widely underleveraged and can really make you memorable for that reason.

Give a candid description of yourself (who are you as a person), stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words, maximum)
This prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks, and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses.
My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* twice in the prompt. Then they added “who you are as a person” in more recent years after that didn’t fully get the point across. This is the top error that people make. The rest of the application is about work. Leave it alone on this one essay.
For example, one of my candidates has a strength of organizing groups or initiatives “on the cheap” that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell.’
Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.) If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input.
Some helpful tools include the StrengthsFinder assessment. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. 16 Personalities is a free and useful way to get in greater touch with your strengths and weaknesses, and to find language that will help describe you. And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values. This last tool will help you use personal anecdotes to reverse engineer your strengths.
There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insights they bear will be useful across the board.
The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done.
Please don’t overtly brag in this essay. The best approach is to speak directly, from the heart and demonstrate self-awareness. With this question, you have the chance to build trust and make an emotional connection with the adcom.
So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person. When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection is widely underleveraged and can really make you memorable for that reason.

My boss gave me this strengths finder quiz...and my "top 5 themes" are all in the "strategic thinking" portion....

1. Context
2. Strategic
3. Input
4. Analytical
5. Learner

Is it bad to be this...singular? Would this kind of result be bad if you're looking to be a team leademanager? No one else at work got all of their "strengths" in one theme. I've only ever taken the Myer's Briggs - and I'm an INTJ (female)....but Im not familiar with this Strengths Finder one.

Part 0: Rules and expectations Part 1: Not as solo as expected Part 2: Deep in the forest...
Where I left off I saved Azalea Town’s Slowpoke population and had a bit of a rough time against Bugsy, but survived thanks to my memory. Team: Mageh/Slugma (14), Mali/Flaaffy (18), and Yipee/Onix (14)
Headbutt Forest Well, before I could use the Headbutt tutor I had to chase the OUCONG/Farfetch’d back to their owner, earning me a Charcoal for Mageh. (Since she won’t learn a better Fire-type move for a while.)
After that I gathered everyone that can learn Headbutt (Mageh is the only one who can’t) and had the Move Tutor teach them Headbutt. I headed to Rt. 34 with the additions of Rided/Quilava and Mali/Flaaffy on the team, dodging another optional Trainer with a Ground-type. Rt. 34 does have a new encounter, but I need to wait for Surf or the Good Rod. I see why gerund didn’t count water encounters, but I won’t get any Water-types without them, since I’m not randomizing.
After meeting Ethan’s grandparents, Ethan revealed his name was actually HIBIKI when he handed over his phone number. Well, that’s his normal Japanese name, so I figured. ...Then the Policeman nearby nearly killed lv. 15 Bicis and recently withdrawn lv. 14 Ficus/Geodude.
Xiaojin City After clearing out the Mall’s basement it was time to pull out the Voltorb Flip solv- Oh, right, Japanese ROM means normal casino with slots. Well, at least I get a Captivate TM before being forced to head underground for my coin case. When I came back up I bought 50 coins and... Why didn’t anyone tell me JP Goldenrod slots were this fun?? I used save states to complete the picture matching game and got 456 coins easy. It reminded me of the slots in Pocket Camp! Way better than any of the other Pokemon Slots I’ve played.
Luckily my Ekans “encounter” here is only 700 coins, but the Casino won’t let me name her Viv so the name won’t change when she evolves! ...Though that doesn’t really matter when the Name Rater is in this town. Oh, and this time I’ll try to remember that I can use 3 tokens to get another Ekans here; Scyther’s price was just too steep for me to get another last time.
Now that I had a genuine Team Rocket-like Pokemon by my/Joshi’s side I took a Cosplay Photo in the underground. Sadly she’s Modest and has Shed Skin, but she’ll still help a bit with Morty.
After remembering that I have to send Whitney back to the gym by doing a radio quiz (which I easily cleared) I headed north to Rt. 35. My goal: Double Kick-ing Nidoran! I can get either gender here, but I got a girl, Lidel. It reminded me of Alice Lidell. Oh, and National Park just boosts the token count to eight. *pines for the Post-Game Shinx*
VS YU/Whitney Funnily enough, Nidorina’s species name is also Lidel. Here’s the the team: Lidel/Nidorina (19+Shell Bell), Bicis/Geodude (16+Quick Claw), Mageh (16), Ficus/Geodude (16) and Viv (16). Yup, I decided to only use girls. No one’s getting hit by Attract on this team!
Bicis started the fight off by dodging her Clefairy’s DoubleSlap and taking out a third of its health with her new Rock Smash. The next DoubleSlap hit 3 times, but it didn’t do much before Rock Smash knocked her to yellow health... and she got the Defense debuff! Whitney healed, but two more Rock Smashes took her out. Though Clefairy did scare me a little by learning Rock Smash via Mimic before the final hit.
Lidel swapped in to face Miltank, but the cow crit with Stomp right away while I set up Tail Whip! I was worried she might use Rollout, but when I healed Miltank Stomped again, doing much less. One more Stomp brought Lidel to yellow, while Lidel’s first Kicks knocked her straight to yellow. Whitney healed the next turn and Lidel kept Kicking for one more turn before healing and taking another Stomp that took off a quarter of her health.
After an annoying turn where Stomp flinched, Lidel got knocked to half health again and did the same to Miltank. One more about of healing let Miltank Stomp Lidel and take off another quarter of her health before Poison Point finally activated. But Miltank has a Lum Berry, so it didn’t matter. After another Stomp to 30/60 HP, Lidel’s next Double Kick took her out!
...Huh, I forgot just how bulky Miltank is; I’m glad I kept Tail Whip instead of Growl like usual. Stomp being a 4KO (minus any high rolls/crits) on Lidel also helped. One good cry from Whitney later and I got the Regularity Badge, yay!
Trees and berries With Whitney down the Flower Shop woman realized I was “more fearful than Msr. Yu” (Who married her!?) and handed over the Watering Can. With that in hand I went back to Rt. 35 to catch Hushu/Sudowoodo, get my free berries, and head north to Rt. 37 to catch Gedi/Growlithe. Looking at his moveset, he only learns Bite at lv. 1 and doesn’t learn Crunch until 42, ugh. Guess Morty will actually be all Ekans.
After a rough battle with Beauty Kallie and Cassandra (I feel like they’re probably run killers? They’re basically upgraded Whitney.) I entered Ecruteak City, which technically does have Water encounters, but neither of the ones that I can catch, so token #9 it is.
Heading into the Center I encounter ZHENFEN/Bill and follow him back to his house to get the future Jolteon, which... I forgot to check out the Pokeathalon! Aside from getting Phone numbers, that’s the only way I can get the evolution stones I’ll need. After seeing it was Moon Stone Day I went to get lv. 5 Yifu/Eevee. What, did he just hatch?
Backtracking to Ecruteak, I got the Item Finder and headed Right to get the Strength and Shadow Claw machines. The encounter here is in the grass by Mahogany, but I didn’t feel like going through the mountain and getting ambushed by the Nido-Maniac yet. Though I did enter Mt. Mortar to get a fourth Geodude, Sciss. Funnily enough, Sicib is still my only male Geodude? My hope from the first update is definitely getting answered, haha!
After having Gedi deal with a rowdy patron at the Kimono Hall, I got the Surf HM. I checked out the Burned Tower next, but Magmar are only on the lower floor and Danji blocks the way...
VS Rival Danji I decided to fight a trainer while grinding and he had a Wooper... but Mali defeated it! (Mud Bomb didn’t do that much!?) Anyway, here’s the team for Danji: Mali (22+Shell Bell), Rided (18+Charcoal), Bicis (18+Quick Claw), Yipee (18), and Viv (18).
Viv started off by knocking out Gastly with two Bites, only getting confused in return. Then Magnemite missed whatever he was using, letting Bicis easily OHKO with Magnitude. Mali came out to face his ace Croconaw, but Danji... just repeated the Scary Face spam from the last battle. I had Mali paralyze him the first turn though, so Mali was faster with the ThunderShock 3KO after he barely survived the second at 1HP-ish.
Yipee came out for Zubat, but missed Rock Throw right off the bat. The Zubat’s Bite just bounced right off him, though. The next Rock Throw took Zubat down to yellow, and after another weak Bite I had Yipee finish it off with Headbutt.
I really didn’t expect Croconaw to double down on the Scary Face spam. Well, now that Danji had cleared the way I could head down to the Basement to release the Beast Trio and catch Ofenb/Magmer. (I’m gonna pronounce that as ‘Oh, Fen Badge’, like an anthem. ...Though Crasher Wake was kinda evil in Plat Redux.) Oh, and I suppose that also released Eusine, heh.

Team:

• Rided the Quilava♀ (18) - Brave, Blaze [Ember / Quick Attack / Headbutt / SmokeScreen] - Charcoal
  
• Bicis the Geodude♀ (18) - Impish, Sturdy [Rock Smash / Rock Throw / Headbutt / Magnitude] - Quick Claw
  
• Mali the Flaaffy♂ (22) - Quirky, Static [ThunderShock / Headbutt / Thunder Wave / Growl] - Shell Bell
  
• Yipee the Onix♂ (18) - Adamant, Sturdy [Rage / Headbutt / Rock Throw / Screech]
  
• Viv the Ekans♀ (18) - Modest, Shed Skin [Poison Sting / Bite / Headbutt / Glare]
  
• Ofenb the Magmar♂ (15) - Serious, Flame Body [Smog / Ember / SmokeScreen / Leer]
  

Box: 9

Geodude (16, 17, 14), Slugma (17), Onix (17), Nidorina (20), Sudowoodo (20), Growlithe (14), Eevee (6)

Deaths: 0

DENZEL CROCKER
"FAIRY GOD PARENTS!"
As a child, Crocker's life sucked so much that he was granted two Fairy Godparents to make it suck less. However, a time-traveling Timmy Turner accidentally exposed said Godparents, resulting in them being taken away and Crocker being left behind with a fairy tracker that has "FAIRY GODPARENTS EXIST!" written on the back.
Crocker then became obsessed with fairies and proving to the world their existence, even when the rest of the world makes fun of him for this belief. Building many inventions to do this task, Crocker suspects that one of the students of his class named Timmy Turner has fairies and investigates, quickly becoming one of the child's two main arch-nemesis alongside Vicky.
He has a deep love for giving his students Fs and having them do ungodly boring tasks.
(Hover over a feat to see what episode/special/movie it came from. Most feats are from The Fairly OddParents, feats from Fairly Odder will have Fairly Odder before the name of the episode.)
(Note: "Fairy-Versery-Gifts Timmy" is Timmy Turner when he is using a bunch of magical items given to him as gifts by various public domain magical entities for his first Fairy Versery as weapons/armor to help him fight an at-the-time empowered Crocker )
Due to large amount of feats, this thread only has Crocker's best feats. Click below for the longer version of this thread.
GO HERE FOR FULL CROCKER RESPECT THREAD

PHYSICALS

STRENGTH
Striking

• Goes through a wall of Timmy's house
  
• Runs through some bars of a cage
  
• Slams a door hard enough to crack the walls
  
• Destroys some bookshelves and a desk while spasming out
  
• Goes through the roof of his house
  
• Dug his way out of prison using a spoon
  
• Destroys everything in the principle's office
  
• Kicks open a door hard to hurt Timmy and break a wall
  
  • Go here for Timmy Turner durability feats
• Goes through a wall of the school he works at
  

Lifting

• Lifts a manhole from the sewer side
  
• Picks up a crate that has 1 million spark tarts in it
  
• Picks up and throws a person
  
• Lifted a piano with a rope
  

Other

• Plays Tug of war with Princess Mandie with Mark Chang as the rope
  
  • Princess Mandie is strong enough to lift a 500 LBS weight
• Wrangles a Siberian tiger into a hole in the sand
  

DURABILITY
Blunt Force

• Survives all of this stuff, including being hit by a car
  
• Survives Timmy crashing into him after jumping off a really really really really tall jumpboard
  
• Survives a F arc falling on top of him
  
• Survives a giant boulder falling on top of him
  
• Survives crashing his van-jet plane into the ground
  
• Survives Poof hitting him with a football, pushing him through a bush, a tree, and a hill
  
• Survives a motorcycle landing on him, and then survives a fancy car smacking him into a street
  
• Survives his mother hitting him with a broom, the fancy car running him over, and then The Great Potato landing on the place
  
• Survives Timmy's Mom winning a bowling championship using his head as a bowling ball, and then survives using a cop of coffee as a phone again
  
• Survives a trash compacter
  
• Survives getting hit by a bus
  
• Survives getting hit by a car, and then hit by another car and flung into a football stadium, and then several football players and band players
  
• Survives getting hit by a train
  
• Survives getting hit by a race car
  
• Survives Strangle dropping a huge weight on him, causing him to go through the floor
  
  • Has to be in a cast and wheelchair afterwords
• Survives a van crash
  
• Survives being hit by a car
  
• Survives being run over by a garbage truck
  
• Survives being run over by a monster truck and then attacked by a large sewer worm
  
• Survives being in a fridge when Timmy's Dad blowtorches it, beats it with a baseball bat, drags it with a car through some walls and down the street, and the fridge going around a tree, and being flung out of the fridge into a window and down the stairs into the Crocker Cave
  
• Survives a fuck ton of anvils falling on top of him
  
• Survives Timmy's Dad hitting him with his car
  
  • The Turner Family car is strong enough to hit an alien through a garage door

Animals

• Survives being attacked by some fairies, a whale, and a gorilla
  
• Survives a elephant falling onto him
  
• Survives an elephant falling on top of him, and then survives Timmy removing his head using magic
  
• Survives a whale falling on top of him
  
• Survives being attacked by a giraffe and a bear
  
• Survives being attacked by saber tooth tigers with night vision
  
  • Had to go to the hospital afterwords
• Survives being attacked by a bear
  
• Survives being eaten by a alligator
  
• Survives Chompy headbutting him into a drum
  
  • Chompy is strong enough to go through brick walls
• Survives being attacked by a hyena
  
• Survives Timmy's Dad falling on top of him, and then survives being attacked by a Wolverine
  
• Survives being attacked by a wolverine
  
• Survives being beaten up by a kangaroo
  
  • Said kangaroo is strong to punch Vicky hard enough to send her through a wall
• Survives being bitten by bears
  
• Survives being attacked by a siberian tiger
  

Electricity

• Survives the electricity of a electric chair
  
• Survives jumping into some lights and being shocked by them
  
• Survives getting struck by lighting
  
• Survives getting struck by lighting again
  
• Survives getting struck by lighting again again
  
• Survives being tasered by a kid
  
• Survives being tasered again
  
• Survives getting struck by lightning and then survives getting tasered again
  
• Survived getting tasted
  
• Survives being shocked by a electric eel
  

Temperatures

• Survives.........this
  
• Survives the fire of Stephen Hawking's wheelchair rocket
  
• Survives The Destructinator freezing him
  
• Survives an under-the-car ride under a car, but is frozen as fuck afterward
  
  • this was a flying car ride from Dimmesdale to the north pole
• Survived being locked in a meat freezer
  
• Survives the hat he is wearing lighting on fire
  

Falling

• Survives surfing on a piece of the broken dam down a wave of water, and then survive falling into a make-up factory
  
• Survives going out of a window, but hurts his failing hand
  
• Survives jumping out of a window
  
• Survives a long fall
  
• Survives falling into a manhole
  
• Survives pulling a hamstring, and falling into a fish pond
  
• Survives a Charlie horse and a fall
  
• Survives a fall onto a bridge
  
• Survives a long fall into his mother's airplane
  
• Survives a long fall
  
• Survives Dark Laser destroying a door, and then survives a fall
  
• Survives a long fall into his mother's airplane
  
• Survives falling into the bottomless ballpit...
  
  • ...and onto the Turner family's front yard

Fairies

• Survives Wanda, as a human, throwing him into a computer
  
• Survives Wanda turning into a baseball bat and beating the shit out of him
  
• Survives Cosmo and Wanda eating him up
  
• Survives Wanda burping him away
  

Non-Fairy Supernatural Creatures

• Survives Hank the rhino horning him through a wall
  
• Survives being attacked by spiders the size of bears, then survives being attacked by werewolves, and then finally survives.....BLACK FRIDAY
  

Explosions

• Survives a small missile made by Timmy's Dad when Timmy's Dad had been wished to be smart at the time
  
• Survives the F missile
  
• Survives being next to a pop quiz when the quiz pops
  
• Survives a TNT stick blowing up in his face
  
• Survives being in a house when the house is hit by a missile
  
• Survives a piano falling on top of him, and then the piano blowing up
  
• Survives an organ falling on top of him, and then the organ blowing up
  
• Survives a piano exploding
  
• Survives Timmy's parents blowing up his house using ghost hunting equipment
  

Other

• Survives being hit by Evil-Timmy's ray , said ray is capable of fucking up satellites and destroying a part of Timmy's house
  
• Survives Norm The Genie teleporting him to Mars, where there's no air
  
• Survives Poof chopping him into pieces using a razor blade
  
• Mentions that nobody has ever given him anything that didn't require an antidote, implying he might have survived eating poisoned apples
  
• Survives falling into a...
  
  • a black hole

SPEED
Animals

• Runs away from some lions
  
• Runs away from some cows
  
  • Is still running away from them sometime later
• Runs away from a cow on pogo stick
  
• Using a pogo stick, chases a cow
  
• Runs away from a Wolverine
  
• Runs away from a hyena
  
• Runs away from a bear
  
• Runs away from 3 bears....briefly
  
• Runs away from a polar bear that walks on two legs for whatever reason
  
  • Successfully got away from it without being hurt

Humans

• Grabs a box out of Timmy's hands before Timmy can leave the bathroom
  
  • Go here for Timmy Turner speed feats
• While Timmy's Dad was in his body, runs away from some cops
  
• [Kid] Runs away from and hides from an angry mob
  
• As a chicken, dodges his mother trying to hit him with an axe
  
• Runs away from Vicky with a chainsaw
  
  • Vicky is fast enough to run away from a gator
• Keeps up with Timmy, Timmy's Dad, and several students
  
  • Go here for Timmy's Dad speed feats
• Runs away from a child with a baseball bat
  

Other

• Moves fast enough to blur
  
• While high on a sugar rush, quickly grades all of the tests of his students
  
• Dodges getting hit by a car
  
• Shows up pretty much instantly after Timmy calls him and offers him a way to get rid of his mother
  
• Runs fast enough to leave a dust cloud
  
• Dodges a giant rock on a rope that Foop pushes
  

ENDURANCE

• Sat in a school locker for 6 months straight, becoming square in the process
  
• Spent several months in a thorn bush
  
• Was in a fridge for several weeks
  

SKILL

• Is usually able to, with little evidence, guess that Timmy is behind a weird/supernatural situation and why
  
• Tricks Timmy with a fake Trixie voice
  
  • Does it again
• Taught himself how to talk to cows
  
• Stole a robot from a government lab
  
• In an alternate timeline where Timmy Turner was never born, became Harvard's most beloved professor
  
• Projects either a video or live cam of himself across the TVs of dimmsdale
  
• Hides from two insane asylum catchers
  
• Escapes from a psychiatric Hospital
  
• Hides from the polar bear that walks on two legs for whatever reason
  
• Successfully hanged to under-a-car during the entire ride
  
  • this was a flying car ride from Dimmesdale to the north pole

TOONFORCE

• Teleports to the top of a really really big cake
  
• Duplicates himself
  
• Gets a broom out of nowhere
  
• Prevents the iris out from finishing for a bit
  
• Is so ugly, it causes mirrors to break
  
  • Even hand mirrors
• Gets a baseball bat out of nowhere
  
• Walks on air until he notices he's walking on air
  
• Drops a fairy wand into a vat of orange soda in slow motion
  
• Does this to his classroom with just a curtains movement
  
• Grabs and moves a rainbow
  
• Goes over the phone cut-off line and then pushes said phone cut-off line away
  
• Gets a parachute out of nowhere
  
• Gets map stuff out of nowhere
  
• Clones himself while screaming FAIRY GODPARENTS
  
• Gets a Siberian tiger out of nowhere while in Hawaii
  

INVENTIONS Crocker has invented many tools in his quest to prove that fairies are real
Weapons
Reality Warping Weapons

• The Magic Blaster, which allows Crocker to get wishes despite being an adult, via sucking the magic out of Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof. He is able to use it to get a wish for better hair, and then a wish to be in a limo at a person's house
  
  • Him with a limo at that person's house
  • Uses it to make himself a giant cheese person
  • It can fire rays, which Timmy with rocket powers can dodge
  • After Timmy uses instruments to slice off his cheese arms and legs, he is able to use the blaster to heal from this
• The Atomic Fairy Incarcerator, which sucks up Cosmo, Wanda and Poof and traps them
  
  • The Incarcerator starts sucking up the magic of the 3 fairies and allows the user to get a wish at the push of a button, such as wishes for a ball pit and for the ball pit to be endless
  • The evil CEO uses the machine some more to get a bunch of wishes
  • Timmy is unable to wish on Cosmo and Wanda while the two are trapped in the machine, due to it "rewriting" their magic
  • Once Timmy loses his fairies due to kissing Tootie, the machine stops working, and all of the previous wishes vanish
• A machine that Cosmo and Wanda are put into after being sucked up by the fairy catcher device, and Kevin uses the wish of to wish that the events of the episode never happened
  

Non-Reality Warping Weapons
F-based Weapons

• The F Blaster, which shoots out Fs that are capable of hurting Foop
  
  • Shoots 3 more Fs, hitting Timmy with one
  • Shoots an F that explodes into a bunch of tiny Fs
  • Go here for Foop durability feats
• The F blaster, which shoots out an F that pushes Timmy through a wall
  
• A thing that shoots out F papers that are strong enough to knock away Timmy
  
• The F Blaster DX, which shoots out two Fs that damage a wall and hurt Timmy
  
• A button that causes a stone F to fall on top of Francis
  

Non-F-Based

• The Fairy Freezer, which he has no feats of using himself but The Destructinator absorbing it allows it to shoot freeze rays that freeze Crocker himself, Dark Laser, and Vicky
  
• The Abracablender, which sucks the magic out of a person and blends it into a smoothie, which Crocker can then drink to gain the magical powers of the person he sucked up
  
  • Sucks the magic out of a leprechaun child
  • Sucks the magic out of a shoemaker child
  • Sucks the magic out of a elf child
  • Sucks the magic out of Foop
  • Drinks the smoothie made out of the sucked-up magic, and becomes a "cornucopia of magic"
  • In a fight against Poof, shows that he has the powers the kids showed earlier, including a ray that hurts Poof and surviving a kick from Poof
  • With the powers of the magical kids, Crocker dodges a blast from Poof, fires lightning bolt-shaped attacks at Poof, knocks Poof at a wall, and uses a wooden shoe to knock a magic raddle out of Poof's hand. Poof uses the machine against Crocker himself, taking away Crocker's magic
  • Poof puts it on REVERSE, and gives the kids their magic back
• The Crocker Pot, which captures magical creatures and makes a mean batch of chili
  
  • Shoots Poof out of it
  • It can make Rump Roast
  • The smell of Rump Roast baits Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof leading them to be trapped in the pot. However, it doesn't work on anti-fairies and fairy dogs
  • Vicky sets it to "vaporize", giving 10 minutes before Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof are cooked
  • Timmy lifts up the lid at the last second, and the pot apparently cooked a goose
  • Hooks it up to Fairy Con's air vent system....
  • Allowing Crocker to, at the push of a button, suck in all of the wands. It nearly sucks in the fairies but Chloe intervenes
  • Amanda uses it to suck in Crocker himself
  • Amanda uses it to suck in Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy's Dad, Bunsen, Mikey, and an octopus. The pot starts sucking in the magic from Cosmo's Wand and Amanda implies once it's fully downloaded she will be able to make a wish
  • Before it fully downloads tho, Bunsen sends one of his arms up the tube and tickles Amanda, and knocks the pot over, freeing the others
• The Fairy Sucker Upper which senses that a fairy is nearby, and then nearly sucks in Cosmo before Chloe pushes Crocker and gets the FSU to suck in Crocker instead, causing an explosion that pushes a bunch of people away
  
  • Uses it to suck in The Fair Bears
  • Can unsuck the sucked in stuff
• A thing that shoots out a fork on a string, which rips up a paper bag
  
• A freeze ray he freezes his mother with
  
  • The ice melts away after some time
• Some sort of pot that sucks in Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof. However, it doesn't prevent the fairies from granting Timmy's wish
  
• A giant Benson Burner
  
• "Ghost Hunting Equipment", which is really fairy hunting equipment he sold to Timmy's parents
  
  • Timmy's parents trap Cosmo using it, and Cosmo is unable to poof out
  • Timmy's parents do the same to Wanda

Information-Obtaining Tools

• A fairy finder, which locates Cosmo and Wanda and shows what they are doing at the time
  
• A computer virus that records Cosmo and Wanda doing magic
  
  • Tries to send the footage to every computer and tv in the world, and at the push of a button creates some green Crocker head things to destroy Data-Timmy
  • The green crocker head things get trapped in a low bandwidth, except one that manages to escape
  • Data-Timmy is able to trick that one green crocker head thing into eating the footage
  • Upon eating all of the footage, the green head explodes, and the upload is aborted
• A magic detector, which detects if magic is real or fake
  
• A fairy detector that is disguised as a flower pot
  
  • It starts beeping more upon being near a door that there are a lot of fairies on the other side of
• A helmet that detects fairies and magic
  
• A Exterminator disguise with a magic detector
  
  • It stretches' out to point at Sparky
• A phone booth that scans for magic, which successfully finds magic in a Spark Tart
  
• A Fairy Meter, that detects that Timmy's fairies are nearby
  
  • It stops tracking them after Chloe wishes that Cosmo and Wanda have no more magic for the rest of the day
• A drone that looks like a dragonfly, that has a camera that he can see the footage of from a portable screen
  
  • Uses it to spy on Tootie and Timmy

Traps

• Arc of Failure, which he made using stuff he wished for from Norm. Designed to kill Timmy Turner
  
  • It, of course, fails
• The "high tech" Fairy Crusher, designed to crush a fairy with a god damn whale
  
• The F mallet
  
• A trap door that is activated by a lever
  
• A cage that is activated by a button on a remote
  
• The Electric Fairy Detector Chair, which "detects" if someone is a fairy or not by giving a lethal dose of electricity. This dose is strong enough to turn a fish into fish sticks
  
• A "troll Boothe", which zaps with 10,000 volts of electricity and "steals magic" of "breakfast trolls". However, the electricity for the volts is provided by a bicycle
  
  • It gets destroyed by Timmy's Mom

Methods of Transportation

• A Rocket ship
  
• His van can turn into a jet plane
  
  • His van can detect magic across north America and south America, and detects magic coming from Timmy's house
  • The van has a giant magnet that can be unleashed at the push of a button
  • The magnet pulls on Crocker's night vision goggles
  • The van has a lot of monitors
  • The van is able to go through all of these buildings and crush all of these trucks
  • The van is able to go through a billboard
  • The van can has "stealth mode" where it disguises itself as an ice cream truck
  • The van bleeps upon the magic it is detecting starts moving, and the van can disguise itself as a spinach truck
  • The van goes through a garage door
  • It knocks over some garbage cans
• A portal to Fairy World, which actually works
  
  • Later modified it so it could go to Anti-Fairy World , which also actually worked
  • It can also go to the surface of the sun and the bathroom. The surface of the sun setting fucked up a cat and a bird, and Crocker and Old-Timmy use the portal to go to Fairy World
• A tank that becomes an ice cream truck
  
• The Fairy Flyer, a device that allows him to fly
  

Hey everyone!
I searched through the previous posts about olive friendly sunless tanners and found a recommendation for Minetan and after reading their multiple olive in mind tanners, I decided to do the jump and try it out.
Now I'm a mix of warm and cool. Mouth area cool, forehead warm kind of thing.
I look orange yet green, yet when I tan it turns grey first.
So after taking the shade finder quiz which said coconut as my shade, I decided to compare their provided swatches to each other and to a picture of me when I was in the sun alot.
I found dark ash was the closest and that is the one I purchased.
I went with 2 hour development to see what a medium strength tan would look like because the women who did the darkest ran option looked a little much but I have found that due to my color (not necessarily depth) I fall towards the darker end of the spectrum for these kind of needs. Typically the lotions took forever to show up and by the time it did, straight oompa lumpa.
Anyways, I tried to get the photos in as close to the same lighting as possible.
In person, the 2 hours looks like I spent 1 day at the beach, it's not as strong as I had hoped but that's okay!
As the color was developing over the day I went back and forth on how orange it reads on me but at the end of the day, I'd rather be a tad golden still so despite all the grey (which it definitely looked like a grey-brown tint as I put it on), I'm still pretty golden which I don't mind. I was first scared I'd look too muted and not pop the same way but it was just enough for my skin.
If I had more money, I'd buy the olive and coconut just to see 🙈.
Anyways- Minetan. Easy application. Easy directions. Very light scent.
I will follow the directions for moisturizer and exfoliation for tan maintenance and if anything seems wonky I'd definitely update ya.
https://imgur.com/a/d3SfDVg

I'm sorta recognizing what I wanna do with my life but don't know how to continue. I've always been a creative person and I always wanted to pursue something creative. I also found out that I have potential leadership skills and that I'm a good communicator and very empathetic (found out from friends and family and also the Gallup strengths finder quiz). I also like writing. So after researching, I found a few good options that interested me: marketing, UX design, graphic design, interior design, art director (never been one to have a single career interest- I just know that I have always been drawn to creative fields). I majored in a totally unrelated major (in the social sciences) and while it was an interesting major and I didn't hate it, I feel like my interest in it wasn't really genuine. I mainly picked it out of indecisiveness but I don't regret the skills in critical thinking and research that I gained. I want a job where I can live a simple and comfortable life and I don't care for being the wealthiest or most prestigious person in the world. Sometimes it's the self-comparison that really gets me (I compare myself to others on Linkedin in more practical and technical careers and I keep wishing that my natural talents were a bit more practical). I don't really have any impressive work experience aside from customer service jobs that I got laid off from during COVID last year but I'm starting my first internship (as a recent grad) for a non-profit related to my major and interests but only offers a small stipend upon completion but the work seems really meaningful (though I'm afraid that my next employer won't classify it as a real experience because it is managing the web content of a gallery involving activist exhibits). I feel like I'm supposed to have my sh** together at 23. TLDR: I have an idea of what I wanna do with my life but I don't know how I should approach it.

5. CIUDADES
JOHTO
-Blackthorn City:
In-game Trade-> Butterfree
Acceso a Mt. Rose (falda de la montaña del Dragon's Den y Ice Path):
Saliendo desde la tienda de la ciudad toma exactamente estos pasos ↓ ←←← ↑↑↑↑↑↑↑ → ↑↑ ←←←← ↑↑ ←← ↑↑↑
Modification Station en la casa a la izquierda de la tienda
TM 46 subiendo hacia Mt Rose por la pasarela a la derecha y luego abajo
Gym Leader: Clair Dragon-type Recompensa: TM24 DragonBreath
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-Mahogany Town:
Mart: aquí puedes comprar pociones específicas cuando avanzas en la historia
Mahagony Bazaar: en el mismo Mart en la planta baja, puedes comprar objetos decorativos para tu casa (consola, cama, alfombra...)
**en esa planta baja tambien hay un ShadyGuy que viene Friday Night y vende.....*********
**alli abajo del todo derecha hay unas maquinas expendedoras (a la izquierda de la chica de azul que vende plantas de abajo derecha) con las que actuar para comprar peluches de PkMn (FIJATE que tienes muchas opciones entre las que elegir, en cada maquina hay opciones distintas).
**tambien puedes llamar a Neph y relocalizar tu casa aqui, ventaja: tu casa es una mansion gigante en la que perderte (literal) y puedes sentirte millonario. Inconveniente: debes ser millonario para pagarla, aunque si eres un cheater lo puedes hacer solo por probar como hice yo xD.
Trade: Swinub y acepta a cualquier pokemon. Cuando termina el trade dice: Que bien, siempre había querido tener un "pokemon que le envias"...
Gym Leader: Pryce Ice-type Recompensa: TM16 IcyWind
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-Ecruteak City:
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En la casa a la izq de PkCenter un chico te dará el ItemFinder (el cual no es muy util porque solo te indica si hay un objeto "cerca"..) pero además te dice que hay objetos interesantes ocultos en la Burned Tower de la ciudad.
Teatro de danza(Dance Theater): si derrotas a las Kimono girls te darán una Clear Bell.
El chico de la izquierda te da Surf cuando tienes 4 medallas.
La casa a comprar esta ambientada en el estilo de la ciudad pero no tiene nada especial. NO LA COMPRES (datito curioso, cada region PkMn esta ambientada en un pais distinto, Johto p.e. se basa en Japon .... WRITE MORE:::
Tin Tower: en la casa de arriba del todo a la derecha. Aqui puedes capturar a HoOh cuando tienes 4 medallas.
Burned Tower: arriba a la izquierda aquí liberas a los tres perros legendarios, interactuas y luchas con tu rival-compañero en la historia Eusine y hay Charmander salvajes (recomiendo mirar mi apartado de cazando a los iniciales).
Gym Leader: Morty Ghost-type Recompensa: TM30 ShadowBall Detalle: cada entrenador que derrotes antes del lider te dirá un secreto oscuro de la ciudad.
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-Goldenrod City:
Radio Tower
FlowerShop (al lado del Gym) aquí te darán Squirtlebottle (para despertar a Sudowodoo) cuando tengas varias_____ medallas.
Modification Station a la izquierda del Gym
Underground (en la entrada Norte tienes TM09 Psych Up y en la sur TM35 SleepTalk): Aquí puedes comprar hierbas medicinales, luchar contra varios NPCs, obtener la CoinCase, peinar a tu pkmn para subir la felicidad, .. lo de siempre, consulta una guia del Crystal que lo hago todo yo..
Train Station: aqui puedes coger el Magnet Train hacia Saffron City. Nada recomendable porque tarda más que un tren regional de Barcelona a Ávila...

Tambien está Mr. Kensworth que si luchas contra él (cuidado tiene 3 Magnemite Shiny xD) te da el objeto Magnet (que incrementa los ataques electricos). 

Radio Tower:

1F recepcion (aqui esta el Event Move Tutor igual que en Radio Tower de Lavander, el cual te enseñará movimientos extra y tambien desbloquea el que puedas enseñar estos movimientos a cualquier pkmn GRATIS en cualquier PC). Tambien puedes probar suerte en el LUCKY NUMBER SHOW, tienes un QUIZ para obtener TM15 HyperBeam (respuestas: YYNYN). 2F ventas: obtienes la BlueCard para la radio BUENA. Si aciertas la contraseña pueden usar los puntos para comprar objetos como UltraBall, FullRestore..., 3F personal Una chica te da TM11 SunnyDay 4F produccion. Subiendo por las escaleras de la derecha Mary te dará el objeto PinkBow (que ensalza los movimientos tipo Normal) 5F oficina director Subiendo desde 3F escaleras derecha hay una ultraball. Por las de la izquierda está CHAOS, el director, si le vences te da un Nugget 

Cleffa Cafe:
Si lees el cartel de la puerta, te ofrece la posibilidad de coger un flyer, si aceptas dentro habra una chica que quiere que le ayudes a publicitar su local y para ello necesita un Cleffa (obtenible criando, tienes Day-Care justo bajando por R34, o en MtMoon tiene un 1% prob caminando y 8% en Mt Moon Square) para cantar. Si se lo enseñas desbloqueas un Sidequest para más adelante...TobeContinued
Cada día hay personas distintas sentadas en las mesas con las que interactuar y en ocasiones te dan objetos o SIDEQUESTS.
Todos los días puedes ir a comer allí una Burguer, una Soup o un Coffee por solo 9500 (disfrutaras de ello y además compartirás con tu pkmn acompañante y aumentará su felicidad) y puedes comprar unos restos (Leftovers) por día 9500.
Si ves un señor verde con gafas que te dice que no te conoce, tendrás que ir a NationalPark, al lado de la fuente lo puedes encontrar, luchar contra su Ponyta shiny y después te invitará a comer cuando vuelvas al Cleffa Cafe. Tenéis una bonita velada y al acabar se deja su plato y puedes llevarte sus restos de comida (el objeto Leftovers xD).
En la casa de al lado hay un magnemite Shiny distorsionando la señal de la TV, y un Comic en la mesa para entretenerte un rato.
En la casa que está debajo de la anterior hay una chica que te dirá lo feliz que es el pkmn que tienes en 1a posición.
Si sigues hacia abajo encontrarás una tienda de bicis, donde te podrán alquilar una si no recibiste ya una en Kanto.
Goldenrod Game Corner: lo primero necesitas un Coin Case que está en el Underground.

El menu de comprar monedas está modificado para que puedas comprar las que necesitas. Como siempre hay escondidas hasta 300 monedas para encontrar. Puedes comprar objetos interesantes: RareCandy, LuckyEgg, MasterBall (te darán 2 en el transcurso de la historia), ExpShare, ScopeLens y QuickClaw. y tambien los siguientes pkmn: Cubone, Kangaskhan, MrMime, Chansey, Rhyhorn, Sneasel y Dratini. (no gastes dinero en ello porque son obtenibles de otras maneras). 

SuperMart: puedes comprar de todo. Lo basico que ya sabemos y además piedras evolutivas en 3F, TM en 5F, Limonada y eso en 6F. Intercambio de Machop por Abra en 5F. Si coges el ascensor puedes ir a B1F donde encontraras varios objetos entre los cuales esta Amulet Coin(para duplicar tu dinero en batalla) y hay unas escaleras arriba derecha que te llevan a una sala donde si interactuas con el ordenador puedes personalizar tu personaje otra vez (si te modificas habla despues con tu Pk acompañante). Luego en el tejado (7F) viene una chica el DOMINGO y te dará TM speciales, por ultimo hay un señor muy amable en la esquina inferior derecha..
Recuerda que en 1F Recepcion hay un chico, Tradeback, que te permite evolucionar pkmn que requieren intercambio.
Otro detalle es que los TM obtenibles dependen del numero de medallas (Cada dos medallas desbloqueas un Set de TMs hasta tener 8 medallas y 4 Sets) y sobretodo son más económicos que antes.
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Al lado de la entrada del Underground hay dos casas, la de la izquierda es la de Bill, el cual te regalará un Eevee para variar y la otra es la casa que puedes comprar por 40000$ (no merece la pena, no tiene nada especial y es muy pequeña!)
En el PkCenter hay una señora que te dará un Revive si le ofreces un Eon Mail (disponible para comprar en __)
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Gym Leader: Whitney Normal-type Recompensa: TM45 Attract
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- Azalea Town:
En la casa a la derecha del PkCenter vive el Charcoal Kiln que será el que te de Cut cuando tengas un par de medallas, y el otro chico te da el objeto Charcoal.
**Esta casa tambien puede ser tu refugio interactuando con el cartel publicitario de Neph. Esta casa sí merece la pena porque está llena de hornos de Charcoal y te da acceso a un pasadizo secreto del Slowpoke Well y dentro hay una TM08 (eso sí, vale 20.000$).
Slowpoke Well: Es una cueva muy sencilla de explorar, solo que necesitarás Surf y Strength. Dentro puedes encontrar TM18, KingsRock y puedes luchar contra Ness (un entrenador con equipo nivel 60).
Kurt's House: Aqui tienes una tienda especifica de PkBalls (ver seccion de consejos). Además, Kurt hará PkBall si le traes Apricorns que encuentres.
Gym Leader: Bugsy Bug-type Recompensa: TM49 FuryCutter
A la derecha de la ciudad hay un Wooper salvaje que en realidad es un entrenador y si le derrotas te da 3 RareCandy
En la tienda habitual puedes comprar objetos interesantes:

Charcoal, mysticwater, miracleseed, magnet, silverpowder, sharpbeak, spelltag, pinkbow, metalpowder y stick. 

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- CherryGrove City:
No hay mucho que hacer aquí, hay una guía que te dara un tour por la ciudad y luego lo podras encontrar en Guide Gent's house pero nada especial.
La otra casa tampoco consigues nada de los NPCs, puedes comprarla pero no merece la pena, es pequeña y no caben los objetos de decoracion.
Si haces surf hacia el oeste hay una mini isla con un señor que te dará el objeto Mystic Water (boosts water-type moves).
Donde de verdad podremos explorar será en Cherrygrove Bay y en Forest Path que está cerca.
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- Violet City:
Intercambio Onix por Bellsprout
Earl's Academy: nada que hacer a excepcion de hablar con Earl que está al lado del PkCenter y que te enseñe un par de cosas. Sin embargo, sí que puedes instalarte en el sotano (interactua con una señal que hay al entrar a la derecha): bastante espacio zona tranquila, incluye muchos estanterias llenas de libros para estudiar el mundo pkmn (es broma no la compres).
Justo detrás puedes recoger un RareCandy si tienes surf.
Hay una puerta trasera de la torre Sprout Tower accesible desde una zona con surf encima del gimnasio y luego a la derecha (a la izquierda hay un PPup).
Si accedes por alli antes de vencer a los entrenadores de la torre puedes acceder por la espalda y robarle la Rainbow Wing!!! (por favor probadlo).
Sprout Tower: te dan Flash en la entrada si ya tienes algunas medallas. Despues puedes entrar, luchar contra todos los monjes y obtienes la Rainbow Wing, necesaria para invocar a Ho-oh en la Tin Tower.
Gym Leader: Falkner Specialty: Flying-type TM31 Mud-slap
Saliendo de Violet City por R36 hay un hombre que te dará la TM08 rocksmash.
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-New Bark Town:
En el lab está Elm, la primera vez os presentáis y si tienes un par de medallas te dara un huevo (Togepi), tambien se desbloquea el sidequest para ir a casa de Mr. Pokemon. En la maquina grande puedes curar tus pkmns. Hay un ordenador con una memoria del ultimo jugador. Puedes hacer un intercambio y conseguir un girafarig.
En Gold's House puedes comprar la casa (interactuando con el cartel al lado de la escalera) que tendrías en el juego original Gold-Silver-Crystal, ésta merece la pena por la nostalgia (vale 10.000$).
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- Olivine City:
En Olivine Cafe un hombre te dará la HM4 Strength, y en la papelera hay unos Leftovers.
En la casa al lado de la tienda está uno de los Fishing Gurus (ya sabes, te van dando cañas de pescar segun las medallas que lleves).
En la otra casa más al oeste hay un chico que acababa de llegar y siempre estará dispuesto a combatir.
Arriba del faro hay dos casas: en una podras hacer un intercambio, y en la otra nada relevante.
Hacia el sur tienes el Olivine Port donde podrás zarpar en el famoso SS Aqua (High-Speed Ship) en dirección a Kanto los Lunes y Viernes , el ticket sin embargo vale 10.000$ (habra alguna manera de conseguirlo gratis pero no lo se).
LightHouse: varios combates y objetos, pero sobre todo, en la ultima planta está el Ampharos de Jasmine, el cual te dara la SilverWing (necesaria para invocar a Lugia) si le ofreces una Berry o BerryJuice.
Gym Leader: Jasmine Specialty: Steel-type Reward: TM23 IronTail.
A la izquierda de la ciudad tienes el FastFerry (puedes viajar a Cianwood, Cerulean y NewCinnabar) en el cual te regalaran el FreePass si tienes unas cuantas medallas.
En la ruta contigua hacia el norte está el sidequest de Miltank donde conseguirás TM13, mommo milk y el pokemon exclusivo.
Atención!! En esta ciudad la casa que puedes adquirir está en la ultima planta del faro, hay un cartel alli para llamar a Neph. Esta casa es muy cara (60000) pero vivirás en un atico encima del faro con vistas a toda la ciudad (no va en broma tienes terraza) y estás al lado de la playa ↑TOP↑
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-Cianwood City:
Al lado del PkCenter hay un entrenador asustado que te prestará su Schukle para lo cuides.
La casa justo debajo es una tienda de hierbas medicinales (me encanta la intro: What's up?Need some medicine? parece que te este vendiendo droga).
Al lado del gym una chica te dará HM2 Fly si tienes unas cuantas medallas.
Photo Studio: Te permite tomar una foto de alguno de tus pkmn y despues puedes imprimirla.
La casa solitaria que está al norte es la que puedes adquirir por solo 40.000$ (una ganga) y esta vez merece la pena comprarla porque tiene un pasadizo secreto a las Whirl Islands que te evita muchos problemas cuando debes perderte en las 4 cuevas-laberinto para llegar hasta Lugia.
Justo a la derecha de esta casa es el punto donde encontraras a Suicune tras despertarlo en Burned Tower.
Más arriba hay un Ferry para viajar gratis a Olivine.
Gym Leader: Chuck Specialty: Fighting-type Reward: Reward: Storm Badge, TM01 Dynamic Punch
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KANTO
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-Pallet Town:
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Tienes la casa de Red y de Blue, no hay mucho que hacer en ninguna de ellas a pesar de comprar tu antigua casa (Red's house) interactuando con el cartel al lado de la escalera.
Oak's Lab: si vienes de Johto no tienes mucho que hacer más que presentarte al Prof Oak. Tambien puedees registrar si quieres a los iniciales en la PkDex, cosa que recomiendo NO hacer porque usando el truco de las huellas y LoadState puedes asegurar un encuentro si ves algunas huellas de Bulbasur, Squirtle o Charmander.
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-Viridian City:
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Un señor te dara TM42 DreamEater usando Cut o Surf a la izquierda del PkCenter.
Trainer's House: si bajas por las escaleras puedes luchar a un NPC con equipo de iniciales una vez por dia.
La casa justo encima puedes comprarla aunque no tiene nada especial (de hecho es tan pequeño que no puedes acceder al mapa de la ciudad).
El abuelo (Shigeki) que te enseña a cazar tu primer pkmn en la historia original está aqui.
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-Pewter City:
​
Intercambio Natu por Gastly en el PkCenter.
En el jardín que verás un abuelo te dará Squirtlebottle si tienes varias medallas.
En la tienda puedes comprar objetos interesantes: HardStone, SoftSand, BlackBelt, TwistedSpoon, BlackGlasses, NeverMeltIce, PoisonBarb, PolkadotBow, LightBall, LuckyPunch.
En la casa al lado de la tienda puedes comprar la propiedad (amplia y accesible pero nada especial).
Museum of Science: podrás ver expuesto varias cosas y puedes añadir a Omanyte y Kabuto a la PkDex (cosa que no recomiendo).
En la parte derecha del museo obtienes el fosil OldAmber para resucitar a Aerodactyl más adelante.
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-Mt Moon:
Puedes desbloquear la capacidad de encontrar Footprints (huellas) hablando con Tiko dentro de la cueva.
Te dan un magikarp dorado en el PkCenter.
Si te adentras en la cueva llegaras a un prado al lado de una casa donde podrás combatir con Tiko todos los días.
La siguiente casa es la de Grizz's Lab.
Más adelante tienes el Ace Trainer HQ.
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-Cerulean City:
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La 2a casa arriba a la derecha está en venta y en este caso sí merece la pena comprarla porque te da acceso rápido a la cueva sin nombre de R24 (accesible también por R25). En esta cueva puedes conseguir un Lapras, un huevo de ditto shiny, varios objetos y un objeto especial de decoración (Big Rock).
La casa encima del PkCenter tiene un objeto oculto en su jardin trasero. (en realidad el objeto se encuentra en el tile de la derecha de la entrada de la cueva de Mewtwo y el objeto en sí es Berserk Gene que sirve para aumentar su ataque pero producir confusión (es un objeto introducido en la generación 2 con la intención de que lo lleve el pkmn más poderoso: Mewtwo)).
A la derecha del Mart hay una chica verde con un Slowbro que si hablas con ella hacen una animación divertida.
Bike Shop: te pueden prestar una bici
Cerulean Cave: puedes ir cuando quieras pero los pkmn salvajes tienen nivel muy alto. Si quieres capturar a Mewtwo puedes hacerlo pero tienes que hacer varios pasos para que aparezca (ver la seccion de legendarios).
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- Vermilion City:
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Tenemos la casa de uno de los fishing gurus.
La casa a la derecha del PkCenter puedes adquirirla aunque no tiene nada especial.
En la siguiente casa a la derecha está el Egg Move Tutor que le enseñará un mov especial a tu pkmn a cambio de una Gold Leaf. También está en Future Move Tutor, quien puede enseñar un mov que tu pkmn aprendera en un futuro ahora mismo (e.g. Dragonite aprende HyperBeam al 75, pero puedes enseñarselo ya con el uso de este tutor), a cambio de una SilverLeaf.
PkFan Club te dará un RareCandy si escuchas su historia.
Antes de la DiggletCave hacia arriba está Snorlax y un señor que te dará muy amablemente un PPUp.
Embarcadero de SS Anne: de camino hay un Ingame Trade, puedes comprar el ticket por 10000$ (el barco zarpa hacia Olivine los Miercoles y Domingos) y por último un marinero te dará HM04 Strength (el cual podrás utilizar para registrar a Mew en la pkdex en el memorable camión móvil).

Si te embarcas en el viaje tienes como siempre que encontrarás a la niña perdida y al marinero que está echando la siesta en un camarote. No acabes el viaje sin luchar con todos y conseguir ... 

En la Digglet Cave sirve para acceder directamente a R2-Pewter City, pero también podéis hacer lo siguiente: Poneos como 1er pkmn en el equipo alguno de nivel 20-27 (como máximo), utilizas Repel dentro de la cueva y anda hasta que salte un encuentro salvaje (hay una posibilidad de que salgan Dugtrios a un alto nivel (28-32)) y al utilizar este Repel evitarás todos los pkmn de nivel inferior al de tu 1er pkmn pero saldran los mas fuertes (el Dugtrio que recomiendo capturar).
Pasando la Digglet Cave, al noreste, en la R11 podemos acceder a un sitio especial, Grullo Gorge.
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-Rock Tunnel:
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Paso intermedio entre Lavender Town y R10. Aquí encuentras la TM47 SteelWing, puedes capturar a Kangaskhan salvaje, en el PkCenter tras salir del tunel hay un ayudante del prof Oak que te dará el HM05 Flash.
Justo al lado tienes la PowerPlant.
En el PkCenter puedes hacer un intercambio.
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-Lavender Town:
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No hay mucho que hacer, lo más importante es la Radio Station.
Volunteer PkHouse: es la casa de Mr. Fuji.
La casa a la derecha abajo es una Modification Station.
Radio Station de Kanto: tiene el Event Moves Tutor, puedes combatir con DJ Fef una vez al día, en las escaleras hay un guardia que no te dejara pasar todavia porque esta en obras (hay un cartel justo al lado que te permite adquirir la propiedad aunque no tiene ninguna ventaja).
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-Celadon City:
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Celadon Mansion: No hay nada obtenible por la entrada principal, puedes hablar con la Manager de la mansion, los game developers en la 3a planta...
Accediendo a Celadon Mansion desde la puerta trasera solo obtendrás un Eevee si comenzaste tu aventura en Kanto, pero seguro te darán la TM03 Curse.
En el edificio entre la tienda y la mansión lo podemos adquirir y nuestra casa será una suite de lujo de 3 plantas (no merece la pena, no hay nada especial).
SuperMart: puedes comprar de todo. Lo basico que ya sabemos y además piedras evolutivas en 3F, TM en 5F, Limonada y eso en 6F.

Recuerda que en 1F Recepcion hay un chico, Tradeback, que te permite evolucionar pkmn que requieren intercambio. Otro detalle es que los TM obtenibles dependen del numero de medallas (Cada dos medallas desbloqueas un Set de TMs hasta tener 8 medallas y 4 Sets) y sobretodo son más económicos que antes. 

En el restaurante hay un concurso en marcha, eat-a-thon, no puedes participar pero hay unos Leftovers en la basura. Una chica te dará la Coin Case.
Yendo hacia la derecha del restaurante y luego arriba hay un arbol para cortar y un PPUp escondido al final.
El abuelo solo accesible haciendo surf te dirá que hay una plaga de Grimer y surfeando alli mismo encontrarás Grimer y Muk salvajes.
Celadon Game Corner: lo primero necesitas un Coin Case que está en el restaurante.

El menu de comprar monedas está modificado para que puedas comprar las que necesitas. En el 2o póster que encontrarás se puede quitar para acceder a la antigua guarida del Team Rocket. Desafortunadamente ahora solo es una habitación en la que encontrarás un antiguo seguir de los Rockets que está esperando una llamada en un teléfono sin línea... Como siempre hay escondidas hasta 300 monedas para encontrar. Puedes comprar objetos interesantes: RareCandy, QuickClaw, BerserkGene, ScopeLens, BrightPowder y PPUp. y tambien los siguientes pkmn: Heracross, Pineco, Girafarig, Shuckle, Eevee, Porygon y Larvitar (no gastes dinero en ello porque son obtenibles de otras maneras). 

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En la casa encima de la Cycling Road (R16) un chico te dará la HM Fly si tienes varias medallas.
Al dar una vuelta por la Cycling Road te llamará el propietario de la Biker Mart para informarte que ya le has dado publicidad a la bici y te regalará la que tienes actualmente.
Hay otra casa un poco más abajo dentro de la Cycling Road, donde puedes comprar: FreshWater, SodaPop, Lemonade, RageCandyBar, MooomooMilk y *BerryJuice* (útil para curar a miltank y ampharos).
Además tienes la posibilidad de conseguir un Smoochum de intercambio.
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-Saffron City:
​
La casa a la derecha del PkCenter es hogar del estudioso de habilidades especiales útiles fuera de batalla. En los libros podrás descubrir que pkmn tienen habilidades como Flame Body (you only need 50% of the steps it would normaly take to hatch an egg), Pickup ( if it's not already holding an item has a 10% chance of creating a rare held item for itself), Swarm ( Increases the chance of encountering wild Pokémon), Suction Cups o Sticky Hold ( if a Pokémon with these abilities is in the first place in the party (even if fainted), bites will occur more often while fishing) y
El chico además te dirá que objetos especiales tiene posibilidades de llevar cualquier pkmn salvaje. Tendrás que observaseleccionar el pkmn el cual quieres conocer el objeto que podría llevar y después hablar con el estudioso y te dirá que objetos tiene posibilidades de llevar cuando lo encuentras salvaje. Por ejemplo, si seleccionas a Onix en tu pkdex y después hablas con él te dirá que en ocasiones llevará un MetalCoat. Los objetos realmente interesantes a conocer (los no obtenibles de ninguna otra manera) serían las GoldLeaf y SilverLeaf (ver apendice de consejos-Tutor Move).
La siguiente casa será la de Mr. Psychic que obviamente te dará la TM29.
Silph Co: el guardian de la puerta no te dejará pasar pero te dará un Upgrade para evolucionar a tu Porygon (que ahora te indicaré como capturarlo). En el lobby hay un científico llamado Zevach (es un second-story man), contra el cual puedes combatir y tiene un equipo curioso, te contará que formaba parte de los Rockets y creó el programa Duck.exe en su laboratorio que está en la planta de arriba. Hay una forma de conseguir la tarjeta de empleado para acceder a la siguiente planta, ejecutar el programa Duck.exe y generar varios Porygon exclusivos para capturar.
El edificio de al lado está en venta y igual que en Celadon tu casa se convierte en un hotel amplio de varias plantas en la que te sentirás como un millonario (no merece la pena)
Copycat's House: la casa de la chica que mimetiza tus movimientos se encuentra aquí. La chica se encuentra en su part-time job en el Underground Path. Hay un TM32 DoubleTeam en la casa para recoger.
Magnet Train Station: aquí puedes coger un tren rápido (no lo tomes, en realidad tarda muchisimo) gratis para ir a GoldenRod.
Fighting Dojo: aquí puedes recoger un Tyrogue y el luchador alli te indicará que el Karate King se encuentra en una cueva de Johto (Mt. Mortar).
​
-Fuchsia City:
​
Modification Station al lado del PkCenter.
En el PkCenter hay una maestra del disfraz que se convertirá en Janine.
Warden's Home: Dentro podrás encontrar a la nieta del guardia que te dirá que puedes coger lo que quieras de las cajas de su derecha, aquí encontrarás la HM03 Surf.
La casa contigua está a la venta (es la casa del hermano mayor Fishing Gurus) y te da acceso al lago del pescador (aquí podrás pescar muchos tipos de pkmn; Krabby, Shellder-Cloyster, Poliwag-Poliwhirl-Politoed, Corsola, Mantine, Chinchou-Lanturn y Magikarp-Gyarados).
Oficina Safari Zone: dentro encontrarás al subjefe quien te dirá que se hace cargo de la SZ cuando el guarda no está. En la papelera hay un Nugget.
Safari Zone: se accede con tus propios pkmn, usar tus PkBall y no hay limite de tiempo. Aprovechalo para recoger todos los objetos disponibles y los pkmn salvajes.
Yendo hacia el sur por R19 encontrarás el Ferry que te permite viajar entre ciudades y además hay una pequeña puerta amarilla que te permite caminar entre estaciones y llegar a New Cinnabar Island.
​
​
-Cinnabar Island:
​
No hay que conseguir aquí a parte de un RareCandy oculto detrás de la entrada de la cueva.
Únicamente podemos entrar en el tunel entre islas y recoger los objetos (también puedes encontrar a Cyndaquil y Charmander salvajes).
Una vez dentro de la cueva, hacia la izquierda podemos acceder a la Pkmn Mansion y a la derecha la nueva isla Cinnabar.
En la cueva encontraremos a Fibbef con quien podremos combatir y nos dará 5 LureBalls. También hay un intercambio disponible.
La casa arriba-derecha del PkCenter está a la venta por 50.000$ (no merece la pena en realidad) y te da acceso a una cueva especifica donde habra un TM08 RockSmash, varias rocas y un hueco para caer en el túnel entre las islas Cinnabar.
​
-New Cinnabar:
​
En el PkCenteFerry también tiene una tienda específica (puedes comprar FreshWater, SodaPop, Lemonade, RageCandyBar, MooomooMilk y *BerryJuice* (útil para curar a miltank y ampharos)).
PkMart: verás a una pareja de compras que tras hablar con ellos y salir de la tienda desaparecen y los encontrarás más adelante en...
La casa a la venta en esta isla es un *barco* accesible en el PkCenteFerry. Entra en el PkCenter, ve hacia la derecha y justo al lado del señor para viajar con el Ferry hay un cartel para llamar a Neph y adquirir la propiedad por solo 60.000$ (no merece la pena pero realmente si te sobra el dinero pasas a vivir en un barco privado cual millonetis).
​
Cinnabar Lab:

Hay un guardia que te dará un SodaPop si te haces tu amigo y además le puedes molestar hackeando el ordenador que está junto a él. 1st room: 3 científicos que hablan sobre el Sidequest de la PkMansion. 2nd room: Está la Upgrade-Card para la Pkdex (ver seccion consejos) y también una versión beta del 4th Stat Screen (se puede activar hablando con el científico y despues interactuando con el PC) para ver los stats y movs de cada pkmn salvaje en cualquier encuentro al apretar Select. 3rd room: Ivan el cientifico revivirá a tus fósiles. En la maquina del medio hay un mensaje oculto que no he podido todavia descifrar (dejadme en comentarios si sabeis desbloquearla). 

​
La casa arriba-izquierda del PkMart es una tienda específicad donde una abuela te venderá todo tipo de Post Cards: Flower, Eon, Morph, Bluesky Mail...
​
- Si has llegado hasta aquí, eres un héroe (o un apasionado de Pkmn con bastante tiempo libre). No olvides dejar tu Likeada, Suscribida, seguirme en Instagram y en Twitter.
PS: It’s all Crystal Clear now.

tl;dr: What are your favorite weird, overly-specific, or breathtakingly beautiful “coffee-table-esque” non-chapter books that I can add to my high school classroom library?
Hi, Reddit! I’m a public high school English teacher (16-18 year old students), and I’m trying to build a classroom library primarily out of books that aren’t chapter books.
I set aside one day every single school week where students can read for the entire period. They don’t have to journal about it, they don’t have to take a quiz about it, they don’t have to talk about it, and they can read whatever they want. No strings attached. The only rules are that they can’t sleep and they can’t be on their phones.
Now, I’m looking for books that are not chapter books because I have three types of students:
1) Students who say, “I hate to read.” They really don’t. They just hate to read chapter books. My theory is that they don’t like to read chapter books because they never developed the endurance. My goal with these students isn’t to try to get them to read more, but rather to start saying, “I like reading, but I’m not really into chapter books.” I can actually get these students to read a ton once they stop thinking that I’m trying to trick them. If I have a classroom library full of options that aren’t chapter books, these students can explore a self-selected topic at their own pace, build up their “reading endurance,” and most importantly, they can begin to form positive feelings about reading.
2) Students who like to read, but they’re swamped with honors and AP classes. These students really DO love to read, but they are so busy with their higher-level coursework that they’re not going to begin some chapter book that they just don’t have the time to finish, and a week between independent reading days is just too long for most of them to stay mentally involved in a story. By having a classroom of books that aren’t chapter books, these students get to read, and they get to satiate their curiosity, they get to develop a weird little knowledge base of trivia that will actually support them in their higher level coursework, and they don’t have to feel the frustration of beginning a book that they know they don’t have the time to finish.
3) The book nerds. These students already have a book in their bag, and they already know which book they want to read next, and they’re on a first-name basis with the school librarian, so it doesn’t matter what I have in my classroom library.
So the kind of books I’m looking for can be on any subject. I work in a very lax school district, so I don’t have to censure much content. I really like bizarre books, coffee table books, beautiful books, books on topics that seem oddly specific, pop-up books, art books, instructional books, short books, books that are comically big… anything that a student can pick up, flip open to a random page, and start reading. Or books with a well-organized table of contents so a student can quickly look at their options and pick what interests them most. They don’t have to be school related; they can be about shitty interior design or fifteenth-century basket weaving or lockpicking or metal detecting or the dangers of incest or the truth about love or BEES!
Here is a list of some of the classroom books which I’ve already accumulated:
101 Ethical Dilemmas
30-Second Theories
501 Things You Should Have Learned about History
The Areas of My Expertise
The Arrival (a picture book with no words, and one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read)
The Art of Speed Reading People
The Art of War
Atlas Obscura
Awkward Family Photos
Awkward Moments Children’s Bible Volumes 1 & 2
Bad Days in History
Banksy: Wall and Piece
Be Here Now
The Burning House
The Complete Book of Questions
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
The Complete Far Side
The Complete Manual of Things that Might Kill You
Crap Taxidermy
Dali (Dali’s art and commentary)
Dog Shaming
Drug Identification Bible
The Duck That Won the Lottery: 100 New Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Einstein’s Dreams
Essential Manners for Men
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America
The Gashlycrumb Tinies
George Washington is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America
Giants, Monsters, and Dragons (sort of like a dictionary of mythological beasts)
How Not to Be a Dick
How to Be a Philosopher
How to Poo on a Date
How to Traumatize Your Children
Humans of New York
An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments
The Illustrated Dictionary of Snark
An Incomplete Education
Just the Arguments
Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches in History
Letters of Note
A Lifetime of Secrets
The Little Blue Thinking Book
The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds
The Philosophy Gym
The Pig That Wants to Be Eaten: 100 Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Puzzles from Other Worlds
The Scientific American Book of Mathematical Puzzles and Diversions
Shit My Dad Says
Spoiled Brats
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
Strengths Finder
Super System: A Course in Power Poker
Techniques of Propaganda
The Timechart History of the World (this one unfolds into a massive timeline)
This Is Water
Timelines of Everything
Trapping North American Furbearers (hahaha)
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
The Viking Book of Aphorisms
What If?
The Word Made Flesh: Literary Tattoos
Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology
Zinn & the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance
Zinn & the Art of Road Bike Maintenance
I’ve also accumulated a ton of For Dummies books, as well as poetry, short story, and essay anthologies (and just weird anthologies in general).
And PLEASE, lurkers, take the two seconds to comment the title of that book you’re thinking of right now. I guarantee you that I will read each and every one of these comments, and I’m super grateful for any ideas or suggestions that you have, for real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

tl;dr: What are your favorite weird, overly-specific, or breathtakingly beautiful “coffee-table-esque” non-chapter books that I can add to my high school classroom library?
Hi, Reddit! I’m a public high school English teacher (16-18 year old students), and I’m trying to build a classroom library primarily out of books that aren’t chapter books.
I set aside one day every single school week where students can read for the entire period. They don’t have to journal about it, they don’t have to take a quiz about it, they don’t have to talk about it, and they can read whatever they want. No strings attached. The only rules are that they can’t sleep and they can’t be on their phones.
Now, I’m looking for books that are not chapter books because I have three types of students:
1) Students who say, “I hate to read.” They really don’t. They just hate to read chapter books. My theory is that they don’t like to read chapter books because they never developed the endurance. My goal with these students isn’t to try to get them to read more, but rather to start saying, “I like reading, but I’m not really into chapter books.” I can actually get these students to read a ton once they stop thinking that I’m trying to trick them. If I have a classroom library full of options that aren’t chapter books, these students can explore a self-selected topic at their own pace, build up their “reading endurance,” and most importantly, they can begin to form positive feelings about reading.
2) Students who like to read, but they’re swamped with honors and AP classes. These students really DO love to read, but they are so busy with their higher-level coursework that they’re not going to begin some chapter book that they just don’t have the time to finish, and a week between independent reading days is just too long for most of them to stay mentally involved in a story. By having a classroom of books that aren’t chapter books, these students get to read, and they get to satiate their curiosity, they get to develop a weird little knowledge base of trivia that will actually support them in their higher level coursework, and they don’t have to feel the frustration of beginning a book that they know they don’t have the time to finish.
3) The book nerds. These students already have a book in their bag, and they already know which book they want to read next, and they’re on a first-name basis with the school librarian, so it doesn’t matter what I have in my classroom library.
So the kind of books I’m looking for can be on any subject. I work in a very lax school district, so I don’t have to censure much content. I really like bizarre books, coffee table books, beautiful books, books on topics that seem oddly specific, pop-up books, art books, instructional books, short books, books that are comically big… anything that a student can pick up, flip open to a random page, and start reading. Or books with a well-organized table of contents so a student can quickly look at their options and pick what interests them most. They don’t have to be school related; they can be about shitty interior design or fifteenth-century basket weaving or lockpicking or metal detecting or the dangers of incest or the truth about love or BEES!
Here is a list of some of the classroom books which I’ve already accumulated:
101 Ethical Dilemmas
30-Second Theories
501 Things You Should Have Learned about History
The Areas of My Expertise
The Arrival (a picture book with no words, and one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read)
The Art of Speed Reading People
The Art of War
Atlas Obscura
Awkward Family Photos
Awkward Moments Children’s Bible Volumes 1 & 2
Bad Days in History
Banksy: Wall and Piece
Be Here Now
The Burning House
The Complete Book of Questions
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
The Complete Far Side
The Complete Manual of Things that Might Kill You
Crap Taxidermy
Dali (Dali’s art and commentary)
Dog Shaming
Drug Identification Bible
The Duck That Won the Lottery: 100 New Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Einstein’s Dreams
Essential Manners for Men
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America
The Gashlycrumb Tinies
George Washington is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America
Giants, Monsters, and Dragons (sort of like a dictionary of mythological beasts)
How Not to Be a Dick
How to Be a Philosopher
How to Poo on a Date
How to Traumatize Your Children
Humans of New York
An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments
The Illustrated Dictionary of Snark
An Incomplete Education
Just the Arguments
Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches in History
Letters of Note
A Lifetime of Secrets
The Little Blue Thinking Book
The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds
The Philosophy Gym
The Pig That Wants to Be Eaten: 100 Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Puzzles from Other Worlds
The Scientific American Book of Mathematical Puzzles and Diversions
Shit My Dad Says
Spoiled Brats
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
Strengths Finder
Super System: A Course in Power Poker
Techniques of Propaganda
The Timechart History of the World (this one unfolds into a massive timeline)
This Is Water
Timelines of Everything
Trapping North American Furbearers (hahaha)
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
The Viking Book of Aphorisms
What If?
The Word Made Flesh: Literary Tattoos
Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology
Zinn & the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance
Zinn & the Art of Road Bike Maintenance
I’ve also accumulated a ton of For Dummies books, as well as poetry, short story, and essay anthologies (and just weird anthologies in general).
And PLEASE, lurkers, take the two seconds to comment the title of that book you’re thinking of right now. I guarantee you that I will read each and every one of these comments, and I’m super grateful for any ideas or suggestions that you have, for real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Edit: You guys are incredible. I’ve spent SO much time looking for great books like these, but what you’ve all suggested in a matter of hours is just so much more than I would have ever been able to discover on my own! Thank you, thank you!!
A bunch of people have suggested poetry books, and I agree, but finding worthwhile ones is so difficult. I really like plain-spoken, plain-language, almost “prosey” poetry, like Richard Brautigan or Sherman Alexie. I’d love any suggestions which you might have! That’s not to say that I don’t have Tennyson and Byron and Whitman and Pope on the ready, but, well, you know—there are some treasures you have to want look for before you can see them.
Thank you all again! I’m creating a giant list of all of these!

tl;dr: What are your favorite weird, overly-specific, or breathtakingly beautiful “coffee-table-esque” non-chapter books that I can add to my high school classroom library?
Hi, Reddit! I’m a public high school English teacher (16-18 year old students), and I’m trying to build a classroom library primarily out of books that aren’t chapter books.
I set aside one day every single school week where students can read for the entire period. They don’t have to journal about it, they don’t have to take a quiz about it, they don’t have to talk about it, and they can read whatever they want. No strings attached. The only rules are that they can’t sleep and they can’t be on their phones.
Now, I’m looking for books that are not chapter books because I have three types of students:
1) Students who say, “I hate to read.” They really don’t. They just hate to read chapter books. My theory is that they don’t like to read chapter books because they never developed the endurance. My goal with these students isn’t to try to get them to read more, but rather to start saying, “I like reading, but I’m not really into chapter books.” I can actually get these students to read a ton once they stop thinking that I’m trying to trick them. If I have a classroom library full of options that aren’t chapter books, these students can explore a self-selected topic at their own pace, build up their “reading endurance,” and most importantly, they can begin to form positive feelings about reading.
2) Students who like to read, but they’re swamped with honors and AP classes. These students really DO love to read, but they are so busy with their higher-level coursework that they’re not going to begin some chapter book that they just don’t have the time to finish, and a week between independent reading days is just too long for most of them to stay mentally involved in a story. By having a classroom of books that aren’t chapter books, these students get to read, and they get to satiate their curiosity, they get to develop a weird little knowledge base of trivia that will actually support them in their higher level coursework, and they don’t have to feel the frustration of beginning a book that they know they don’t have the time to finish.
3) The book nerds. These students already have a book in their bag, and they already know which book they want to read next, and they’re on a first-name basis with the school librarian, so it doesn’t matter what I have in my classroom library.
So the kind of books I’m looking for can be on any subject. I work in a very lax school district, so I don’t have to censure much content. I really like bizarre books, coffee table books, beautiful books, books on topics that seem oddly specific, pop-up books, art books, instructional books, short books, books that are comically big… anything that a student can pick up, flip open to a random page, and start reading. Or books with a well-organized table of contents so a student can quickly look at their options and pick what interests them most. They don’t have to be school related; they can be about shitty interior design or fifteenth-century basket weaving or lockpicking or metal detecting or the dangers of incest or the truth about love or BEES!
Here is a list of some of the classroom books which I’ve already accumulated:
101 Ethical Dilemmas
30-Second Theories
501 Things You Should Have Learned about History
The Areas of My Expertise
The Arrival (a picture book with no words, and one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read)
The Art of Speed Reading People
The Art of War
Atlas Obscura
Awkward Family Photos
Awkward Moments Children’s Bible Volumes 1 & 2
Bad Days in History
Banksy: Wall and Piece
Be Here Now
The Burning House
The Complete Book of Questions
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
The Complete Far Side
The Complete Manual of Things that Might Kill You
Crap Taxidermy
Dali (Dali’s art and commentary)
Dog Shaming
Drug Identification Bible
The Duck That Won the Lottery: 100 New Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Einstein’s Dreams
Essential Manners for Men
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America
The Gashlycrumb Tinies
George Washington is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America
Giants, Monsters, and Dragons (sort of like a dictionary of mythological beasts)
How Not to Be a Dick
How to Be a Philosopher
How to Poo on a Date
How to Traumatize Your Children
Humans of New York
An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments
The Illustrated Dictionary of Snark
An Incomplete Education
Just the Arguments
Lend Me Your Ears: Great Speeches in History
Letters of Note
A Lifetime of Secrets
The Little Blue Thinking Book
The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds
The Philosophy Gym
The Pig That Wants to Be Eaten: 100 Experiments for the Armchair Philosopher
Puzzles from Other Worlds
The Scientific American Book of Mathematical Puzzles and Diversions
Shit My Dad Says
Spoiled Brats
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
Strengths Finder
Super System: A Course in Power Poker
Techniques of Propaganda
The Timechart History of the World (this one unfolds into a massive timeline)
This Is Water
Timelines of Everything
Trapping North American Furbearers (hahaha)
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
The Viking Book of Aphorisms
What If?
The Word Made Flesh: Literary Tattoos
Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology
Zinn & the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance
Zinn & the Art of Road Bike Maintenance
I’ve also accumulated a ton of For Dummies books, as well as poetry, short story, and essay anthologies (and just weird anthologies in general).
And PLEASE, lurkers, take the two seconds to comment the title of that book you’re thinking of right now. I guarantee you that I will read each and every one of these comments, and I’m super grateful for any ideas or suggestions that you have, for real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Some of you might be thinking, "Didn't I read this not that long ago?" You're right, you did. You can skip it, but I urge you to read through again, especially if you haven't yet utilized any of the tools mentioned. I wouldn't be reposting if it wasn't worth it! If you missed my original post, my first tip is not to let the perceived simplicity of this essay prompt fool you. It takes a lot of thought. I hope you find the information below useful.
MOTIVATION ESSAY 1. Give a candid description of yourself, stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words max) At first glance, this prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses. My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* like 9 times in the prompt. This is the top error that people make. There are so many opportunities to talk about work elsewhere in the INSEAD application.
For example, one of my candidates has a past history of organizing groups or initiatives that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible “on the cheap” and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell’. Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.)
If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input. I use this tool; it is free for 15 days. Make sure to let everyone know you need feedback rather quickly. http://www.reachcc.com/reach/survey.nsf
The StrengthFinders assessment is also very useful, if you can support the results it gives with personal anecdotes. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx
And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insight they can give you will be useful across the board. The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done. From this, they can discern your level of self-awareness. With this question, you want to make an emotional connection with the adcom. So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person.
When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection to make you memorable cannot be overstated.

Some of you might be thinking, "Didn't I read this not that long ago?" You're right, you did. You can skip it, but I urge you to read through again, especially if you haven't yet utilized any of the tools mentioned. I wouldn't be reposting if it wasn't worth it! If you missed my original post, my first tip is not to let the perceived simplicity of this essay prompt fool you. It takes a lot of thought. I hope you find the information below useful.
MOTIVATION ESSAY 1. Give a candid description of yourself, stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words max) At first glance, this prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses. My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* like 9 times in the prompt. This is the top error that people make. There are so many opportunities to talk about work elsewhere in the INSEAD application.
For example, one of my candidates has a past history of organizing groups or initiatives that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible “on the cheap” and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell’. Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.)
If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input. I use this tool; it is free for 15 days. Make sure to let everyone know you need feedback rather quickly. http://www.reachcc.com/reach/survey.nsf
The StrengthFinders assessment is also very useful, if you can support the results it gives with personal anecdotes. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx
And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insight they can give you will be useful across the board. The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done. From this, they can discern your level of self-awareness. With this question, you want to make an emotional connection with the adcom. So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person.
When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection to make you memorable cannot be overstated.

For those of us breaking free of NFamily, we often have been so discouraged from thinking for ourselves that we never learned how. Part of reparenting yourself is to give yourself experiences you never had. I'd like to share some resources for finding out more about YOU :)
https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types
I got Advocate
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/299855/how-to-improve-my-career.aspx?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=us_pillar_page_career_cs_ecom&utm_content=what%20career%20should%20i%20have&gclid=CjwKCAiAp4KCBhB6EiwAxRxbpMxIQnHQGI9dbur7-5h206BKxoaeXWIr-OAz_-MXA-dgRMD7tt0WkRoCSUQQAvD_BwE
Sorry about the length of that link. You don't have to take the Clifton Strenths test to follow the guide. I actually did Strengths Finder 2.0 And got Strategic, Achiever, Responsibility, Learner, Analytical. If you don't want to pay for it, some deep thinking will probably help you find yours.
Net Sec was a great career path for me. It uses both my personality type (wanting to help and protect people) and ALL my strengths. Achiever and Responsibility means I do a good job even if my boss has nfc what I'm doing. Strategic and Analytical help me build really soild networks. Learner helps me keep up in a field that changes constantly.
During my education, it became apparent to me that I had no idea at all how to dress myself. Not for work, not for interviews, not at all. I had no personal style whatsoever. I wore what Nmom gave me which were usually her cast offs that were 2 sizes too big. Even I hated how I looked.
These couple things helped. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESsn7N1Na2E
Guys will probably get a bit less out of this as it's geared to women but might give you some ideas. https://my.liveyourtruth.com/dyt/home/
There's a beginners guide and a determine your type quiz link at the bottom. Again.... don't buy the stuff unless you feel like it. I totally did not buy anything, but I did take away a lot of the ideas and found them accurate. I'm Type 2 btw, and I totally still wear black. What do they know? Black is amazing.
Anyone else have links to things that helped them find themselves?

MOTIVATION ESSAY 1. Give a candid description of yourself, stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words max)
At first glance, this prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses.
My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* like 9 times in the prompt. This is the top error that people make. There are so many opportunities to talk about work elsewhere in the INSEAD application.
For example, one of my candidates has a past history of organizing groups or initiatives that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible “on the cheap” and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell’. Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.)
If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input. I use this tool; it is free for 15 days. Make sure to let everyone know you need feedback rather quickly. http://www.reachcc.com/reach/survey.nsf
The StrengthFinders assessment is also very useful, if you can support the results it gives with personal anecdotes. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx
And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm
There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insight they can give you will be useful across the board.
The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done. From this, they can discern your level of self-awareness. With this question, you want to make an emotional connection with the adcom. So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person.
When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection to make you memorable cannot be overstated.

MOTIVATION ESSAY 1. Give a candid description of yourself, stressing the personal characteristics you feel to be your strengths and weaknesses and the main factors which have influenced your personal development, giving examples when necessary. (500 words max)
At first glance, this prompt seems simple enough, but it’s actually harder than it looks and you should prioritize it in your efforts. The key is doing the proper introspection. Think about past experiences that point to specific strengths – and weaknesses.
My #1 message about this essay is DO NOT TALK ABOUT WORK. They mention *personal* like 9 times in the prompt. This is the top error that people make. There are so many opportunities to talk about work elsewhere in the INSEAD application.
For example, one of my candidates has a past history of organizing groups or initiatives that help others achieve a dream they felt was impossible “on the cheap” and provided 2 quick anecdotes to support that. The mantra is ‘show, don’t tell’. Make your claims, but make sure to illustrate them with examples (for both strengths and weaknesses.)
If you don’t have a lot of clarity around your strengths and weaknesses, survey your friends and family and ask for their input. I use this tool; it is free for 15 days. Make sure to let everyone know you need feedback rather quickly. http://www.reachcc.com/reach/survey.nsf
The StrengthFinders assessment is also very useful, if you can support the results it gives with personal anecdotes. If you buy the book it comes with an assessment. http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx
And finally, there is a values quiz on MindTools https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm
There’s a good chance you’ll get asked about your strengths and weaknesses in the course of any MBA application, and introspection is key to a compelling story. These tools and the insight they can give you will be useful across the board.
The key here is to reflect on past times in your life when you did well – and not so well – and trace back the strengths and weaknesses they point to. The objective of this question is to give adcom insight into who you are, not just what you have done. From this, they can discern your level of self-awareness. With this question, you want to make an emotional connection with the adcom. So often, applicants spend all their time discussing accomplishments but are afraid to open up and describe who they really are as a person.
When someone is candid about their failings, it opens our heart to them, and we feel more connected to them. The importance of making an emotional, heartfelt connection to make you memorable cannot be overstated.

Genetics aren’t very kind. They either go all into your brain or all into your body.
The latest Facebook quiz told me that I’m the reincarnation of Stephen Hawking. I could have told you that. Why else would I have gotten beaten up so much in high school?
Which by default means that there weren’t any leftovers to give me good looks. I look like a walrus had a rape baby with a butternut squash. The squash named me John. John Lenasca. I’m thirty-five years old. I’m five foot eight, nearly as wide, and my hair sits atop my head like a block of mousy ramen. My glasses are square and thick, and I generally pull off an appearance that says, “He must do something off to the side.”
And you know what, that’s right. I do. I make films. And let me just say that Windows Movie Maker is a sorely, sorely underrated tool for producing films. (No, Microsoft isn’t paying me to say this) It’s free and some of those transition effects are just as sweet as it gets. And it does what any other video editing software does: crafts a message.
To me, a film is just a message. It’s the next evolution of the pop-up book. Okay, Johnny boy, here’s your book about the three little pigs, and oh, the houses pop up! Woo! How totally unrelated to the message of the story, but it’s gotten your attention! When the message actually does come along, you won’t know what hit you and you’ll take in the whole thing!
I landed a pretty hot girlfriend for a man my age. I sold her on my filmmaker status. She stuck with me after she found out that I wasn’t a successful filmmaker. She just started hitting me a lot.
So, about my films. The haters want to call them slideshows, but a bona fide slideshow has no substance. Remember, I have a message in my films. I can give you an idea what they’re about just by the titles. Don’t worry, no spoilers here.
“The Crop Circles of North Dakota.”
“Super-Secret Code: The Illuminati and the Fortune Cookie Industry.”
“What UFO’s Tell Us by the Colors of Their Lights.”
“How to Copulate With the Ghosts of Royalty Throughout History.”
I know what you’re thinking. Daring, innovative content that probes the most tender places in the panties of the truth. And that’s what you should be thinking. You can’t just close your eyes to the secrets of the universe. Reality is a lifelong experience. So know it. Own it. Find out what makes it tick.
When it comes to the truth, I’m like a treasure hunter in the desert. I don’t stop digging when I find the treasure chest. No, I set it aside and I keep going, you know? Like, how much deeper does this go? Before I hit bedrock and there’s nothing else?
So my films try to get to that bedrock of truth. My shovels may be shaped funny and the holes I dig with them may go at funny angles, but that’s what it takes.
You might be wondering, so John. If you’re this rock star filmmaker, then what are you doing for cash flow in the meantime?
I’m an assistant manager at Burger Burglar.
It fits in with my films in a cruel way. Remember how I said that I live for finding the undiluted truth? Well, you get part of it working in fast food. That’s where you really get to see the truth about people.
There’s something about fast food that makes people forget who they are and it reduces them to their basest and most primordial brain functions.
They’re so caught up in the throes of being on the verge of gratification that they can’t communicate worth a pickled piss.
“Which Burger combo again, sir?”
“That one.”
“Sir, which one are you pointing at?”
“That one.”
“Which combo number is it?”
“The one with the brown chicken, not the orange.”
“What dessert were you wanting?”
“Blue, please. I want blue.”
So yeah, I prefer my film projects to my day job.
My third job was staying sane long enough to have enough left in me to do my films any justice.
I started seeing all sorts of little tell-tale signs that I was coming unhinged. You can be the bigger man, but many a big thing has been taken down by smaller things. Viruses take down humans. Termites take down houses.
Stupid people reduce intelligent people to breakdowns. If you don’t understand public shooters, work in fast food, Holy Jesus and Mustard. The customers want one of everything on the menu for free if you get one detail of their order wrong.
The kids these places hire aren’t much smarter than the cows that went into the meat grinder with their eyes wide open.
Things came to a head one weekend in July when the heat was intense and Shannon wanted me to put the AC unit in one of the windows. My apartment is on the tenth floor of the biggest corpse cock of an apartment building. One of those places that still have those old-timey radiators.
The windows weren’t quite what they used to be back in 1912. I had all of ‘em open so the place could breathe and I was trying to get Shannon’s obscenely bulky and retro AC into the most stable window. Note that I didn’t say stable. Just most stable. I think a hare-lip baby gets a better grip on a titty than this window’s got a grip on that damn AC.
All the while I’m doing this, Shannon is standing over me the way a child does over an anthill with a magnifying glass, letting me know how hot it was in the apartment and that I’ve waited to do this at the last minute when the place feels like the interior of the devil’s thorny anus and it’s all another certified paper in the stack of evidence that I don’t really love her.
I didn’t quite agree with her.
As soon as the window had a feather’s grip on the AC, I stood to face Shannon and artfully convey my own thoughts.
Her orange fluffy cat had gone out one of the windows to walk the crumbling decorative bricks that jutted from the wall. He must have seen the AC as the roomiest perch because that’s where he jumped.
You know those stories about cats that fell from great heights and survived without a hitch?
This isn’t one of those stories.
An old crazy cat lady was on the sidewalk below in time to catch the spray of stuff with orange fur attached to it. One of the paws bounced and went down her cleavage like a lucky rabbit’s foot without a chain.
So in my periphery I heard MROWROWR-splat, and “Gaaaaaaaahhhhh!!”
Then the AC slipped out. The aftermath determined that the lady wasn’t paying attention.
Just like that, my girlfriend’s cat died one minute and I don’t know how many more cats were orphaned the next.
I wasn’t all that surprised when night fell and I received an inebriated video from Shannon. She was… unclad...and looked into her phone and told me that she had a real “slide” show for me. Some guy I didn’t recognize was behind her and he unzipped his pants.
I couldn’t keep watching.
I checked my YouTube channel. No new views. Not for three weeks.
I needed something to help me cope with the simple act of existing. For once, Shannon might have given me the right idea. Alcohol.
Nah. I just bawled my ever-lovin’ eyes after the Merlot bottle was empty.
I stalked a coworker’s Facebook. Rebecca. She was everything Shannon wasn’t: Kind. Sweet. Nineteen. Under two-hundred pounds.
Somewhere between blacking out and sleeping off a hangover, I decided it was time for a better coping strategy.
Meditation seemed like a logical choice. It masquerades under the term “mindfulness” in mainstream magazines, but “Meditation” carries a bit more mysticism and rightfully so.
I wasn’t trying to reach enlightenment. I just wanted to salvage my sanity.
Meditation is supposed to be like a psychic reboot, changing the software of my mind’s operating system. So what did I have to lose?
Heh. If only I knew.
I didn’t expect much. I was breaking too many of the established rules of meditation. I’m shaped like a gumdrop, so there was no way I was going to sit cross-legged on the floor, not without coming out of a trance to find that my legs atrophied and fell off. I sat in my old lazy chair, which looked like a mummy with how much duct tape was holding it together. That was enough mysticism for me right there. The La-Z-Boy pharaoh.
The first session was ok, I guess. I just wasn’t sure if I was doing it right. The guided recording told me to see my thoughts as bubbles that left my head and floated away, as if they were something separate from me as a whole. A different notion for me at the time, since, well, if your thoughts aren’t you, then what is?
By the second session, I was getting the hang of it. My concerns and anxieties and worries and OCD issues were floating away as soon as they were in my mind’s eye. And I was finding things I had forgotten about, if I had ever known them to begin with. Quiet. Peace. This emptiness of mind filled the absence left by Shannon. It was very enjoyable. On my worst of days I could still find some stillness.
Like a glassy pond on a cloudy day. Sure things were gloomy but there wasn’t even a ripple. So it was the same with me right after meditating.
I became addicted. Looking to meditate more often. I spent my breaks at work meditating. I usually scratched out ideas for a film on the back of my receipt or worried myself in circles over various issues. Not anymore.
I felt my inspiration returning. I was getting ideas for films faster than I could write them down. I also started making new connections in the material of past films.
I revisited some of my notes on one of the oldest pyramids. I had made it a point to collect as much material as possible on the occurrences that were chalked up to supernatural phenomena – sights, sounds, freak accidents, And so forth. I mapped out where they took place on a blown-up aerial photograph of the pyramid, top-down. Where the incidents are plotted on the photo, it looks like a constellation. I then realized that it wasn’t celestial. It was mathematical. Geometric.
It was a shape that fit into everything I’ve read about Sacred Geometry. But where? Several hours on Google turned up many shapes and configurations that came close, but didn’t quite match. The stress and fatigue that I had been feeling raised off of my shoulders a few inches. The walls that were closing in on my filmmaking suddenly turned into doors. I was on to something.
Huh. Meditation didn’t just relax my mind. It changed the way I process things.
One session of meditation, things changed permanently.
I started the same way as always. Breathe in, count to ten, breathe out, count to ten. By then I didn’t even consciously count. I had no thoughts. Just the sensation of air entering and leaving.
My breath soon became the gentle roar of distant waves. Whoosh, crashing ashore, whoosh, withdrawing back. I opened my eyes to find myself in my chair, except I wasn’t in my living room. I was on a cliff, an outcropping of rock that plunged down into a vast ocean, the waves endlessly making noise against the stone surface. Crash, forth, whoosh, back.
I allowed room for one conscious thought. I wanted to be someplace where I felt comfortable. At home. Fulfilling. Comforting. My head swam and I felt the impulse to shoot out an arm and steady myself. But how was I going to fall? I was in my chair, laid back. But the falling sensation came and when I opened my eyes, I saw that I was staring up at a ceiling I didn’t recognize. I put out my arms to push myself up. I couldn’t feel the floor. I raised my head, touching my chin to my chest. I did this just in time to see Rebecca come out of a room at the far end of a hallway. Music poured out of that room along with steam. She had a towel around her waist but her breasts were free and everything from the waist up was alive with movement in time to the music. I was lying right in the middle of the hallway and she was going to come right to me. I panicked. Somehow I couldn’t move. I waited for the scream.
It never happened. She walked over me, I saw her beauty sail directly overhead. After that shock was over, I realized that she didn’t collide with me. Her feet touched the floor right through my body.
I looked up at the opposite end of the hall and got an upside-down view of the most beautiful ass in the world. Her towel was hitched together above her tailbone and stretched open. Her red hair whipped side to side with the rhythm. I was terrified and electrified. I flailed about until my body slowly floated up and righted itself. I felt like I was swimming. I stood up facing the bathroom door. If I didn’t focus, my movements didn’t register in the outside world. I could flail for all I was worth and not move an inch.
She ran through me from behind, apparently forgetting something in the bathroom. She was completely nude and trotting. No time to keep the towel, I guess. I was captivated by that lily-white skin, broken only by a few dark freckles on her shoulders and two really dark ones on her neck. She grabbed something and went back to wherever she came from, right through me again.
I hoped she would do this several more times, but she must not have forgotten anything else.
I began moving around, swimming clumsily through the hall. After I saw some pictures and saw the overall well-worn look of the hall, it hit me. I was in Rebecca’s house. As soon as I had this thought, a woman that must have been her mom passed through the hall. I couldn’t have felt more exposed.
Was this a dream? Or… was this perhaps, astral projection? My fears were starting to subside and my boldness was starting to outweigh my guilt.
I tried to pivot. I could.
I faced the only door at the other end of the hallway. I tried to swim forward.
I did.
I passed through the door and I was in a room that couldn’t have belonged to anyone else but Rebecca. She was lying on her bed, on her stomach. Still naked. Looking at her phone. I felt so dirty but I felt so... so… never mind.
I didn’t feel it for long. I heard someone clear their throat and I turned to see a skeleton in a slate-gray suit and tie with a white shirt.
Well, I thought he was a skeleton. But when he brought up his hands to drag on a cigarette, I realized that he was tattooed head to toe in bones. I could see the meat of his hands. The detail of the skull on his face was chillingly fascinating. He wasn’t a pretty sight, and the heavy reflective shades hid what I thought could have been empty eye sockets.
I wondered if he was Rebecca’s father. He was throwing her a very stern stare. It slowly crept into my mind that he wasn’t looking at her… but… at me. Nah, he couldn’t be…
“Yes, I can see you,” he said.
And then I felt everything that was probably ever felt by creepy men bagged by the likes of Chris Hansen.
“You really shouldn’t be ogling her like that. You’re old enough to be her father,” he stated flatly.
I nearly jumped out of my skin at being addressed so directly.
“Who are you?” I demanded, Suddenly feeling defensive of Rebecca, never mind the fact that I was just drooling over her in her own room.
He flicked his cigarette and a spew of embers spiraled downward, where they took to the air just before hitting the ground and became glowing orange gnats. They were able to inflict my astral body with bites. I swatted at them, but they were too quick. They were able to dive in and bite and be off before my hand could flatten them.
Oh, and they burned.
“Agh! Ouch! Oh, God!”
“Naughty boy,” the stranger grunted.
“Call off your bugs!” I yelled.
“Call off your films,” he returned.
That’s when I started to believe that this was just a dream. I still wanted to put the dream to use. I was aware that I was dreaming. Which made it a lucid dream. Which meant that by speaking to dream characters, I would be having a dialogue with my subconscious.
Still swatting at the searing gnats, I floated over to the stranger.
“Excuse me sir, but this is my dream, which means you’re a part of me. I’d like to know what part of me you rep–”
He exhaled a plume of smoke that erupted from his face like a cannonball in the shape of a screaming skull. If souls had bowels, I would have shit myself. The spectral projectile knocked me head over heels, somersaulting outside the house. I was dismayed both from the sucker-punch and from being removed from the presence of the naked Rebecca.
I didn’t have long to think, as shrieking smoke skulls were now circling the house like a swarm of angry hornets. Their eye sockets burned with white flames that I’m pretty sure were trained on me.
“Well, Fuckasaurus Rex,” I said.
The skulls must have been offended by the F-Bomb. Each of them beelined me. I was knocked around like a June Beetle at the mercy of tennis racquets. Disoriented and blind from the chaos, I tried finding my silver cord and pulling myself along like a celestial safety rope. After thinking I would never get out of the situation I was in, my silver cord suddenly retracted like a tape measure and I was back in my apartment in my recliner. My eyes flew open at the sound of my cell ringing. I quietly thanked whoever was at the other end of the call for yanking me out of such a horrible dream. I must have accidentally fallen asleep.
“Hello?”
Total silence.
I figured that the call had dropped.
Getting out of the recliner wasn’t easy. My physical body felt banged up like it had been with me for the skull gangbang in my dream. I inspected myself for bruises and found none.
I faced my breakfast of Pop-Tarts and coffee with a blank stare and an even more blank mind. Maybe there was such a thing as too much meditation. It was like psychic alcohol. I kept feeling good, so I kept going and then suddenly, whoooooaaaa there, Killer.
The emptiness that filled my mind was just enough to displace the existential crises of the situation with my girlfriend, her cat, the air conditioner, and the flames that were rapidly spreading from the whole situation. Did the police lift my fingerprints from the grubby knobs and buttons on the air unit? Did they run the contact info on the cat’s collar? Would they come asking for a motive in dropping a ridonkulous air conditioner on a crazy cat lady? Would they force me to adopt all of her cats?
The stress was like a parasitic snail trying to invade my shell with its pokey-rapey proboscis of panic. I reacted the way I normally do.
I got to work on one of my films.
I began to remember the things I had pieced together about the pyramids and Sacred Geometry. I did the lazy thing and looked for whatever stills I had of pyramids and the like. Then I looked at my music collection for anything exotic sounding enough to go with such pictures. I was piecing together my first few thoughts when the lights in my apartment began to flicker.
The display of my laptop cut out for a few seconds. I thought I was looking at a glitched-out screen. An orange light appeared in a corner of the screen. Was it a virus? A game? Just as soon as I realized it was a reflection of something behind me… a cigarette, it’s feeble light tracing out the frames of very reflective sunglasses… the screen was back on.
And my project was gone. I thought that maybe it had just been minimized. No, it was actually gone. All the associated files were gone also.
“The hell?” I yelled with my hands in the air like a normal person watching his football team do something stupid.
Was I really going to have to comb through Yahoo! Image Search again? Was I really going to have to convert YouTube videos to mp3 for background music… again?
My outrage gave me a bowel movement that must have been congealing for hours.
I rushed to the water closet to free the prairie dog. I was staring through the bathroom doorway when the door, well, just sorta slammed shut. There I saw myself in the full-length mirror behind the door, looking like a dead body with its pants around its ankles. The smoking skeleton stood behind the toilet. I may or may not have spiraled in the air and flung my fudgey cargo like one of those manure spreaders. Facing my toilet, there was nothing behind it but the bathroom wall.
My body was heavy with fatigue and yet electric with adrenaline.
That’s when I decided it was time to get to work and get the insanity out of my system.
I don’t think I could ever remember a time when the smell of frying beef and dumb fat kids was comforting. It certainly was that day.
Rebecca was the first person to make eye contact with me. Her gorgeous eyes were wide and concerned. But not because she had seen my soul peeping on her.
“John!” she shouted over the din of impatient customers.
“Almost everyone has called in sick! There’s barely enough of us to man the kitchen and the registers both!” She rapid-fired these words before a “How-kin-I-help-you?” to the next frowning fat-ass in a long line of frowning fat-asses.
Ever the glorified slave, I jumped in and did triple-duty with my crew. My world became a blur of bags, babbling headsets, the sting of fryer grease, and angry fat faces itching for their next heart attack.
Those are the moments in which I blank out by instinct. I was so in the flow that I didn’t hear Mike in the kitchen curse and say something about the spatula disappearing.
Before long, I felt like I was going to piss myself. I ran to the restroom. As per usual, the stress-induced waterfall also brought on a mudslide, so I had to sit.
Then a hot spatula flew under the stall door and hit my feet.
“Agh!” I yelled.
I felt the blood leave my head when I saw embers fall to the floor just outside the stall door. I heard footsteps without seeing any feet. I also heard a voice. Gruff and low.
“Naughty boy,” it said.
At a certain point, fear turns to anger. I had reached that point, and I pulled up my pants and came out of that stall swinging. There was nobody. Until I got to the mirror. I was washing my hands, and I looked up and saw the tattooed man from my dream.
“You’re… You’re…” I stammered.
“I’m not your dream character. And this...” he gestured at my rotund body and the bathroom.
“...is no dream.”
He tugged on the lapels of his suit coat.
“I’m Neville. I’m from somewhere much worse than your sleeping brain. Unless you want to see my hometown up close and personal, you’ll call off your film projects or change your subject matter. Pronto.”
A gelatinous black something slithered out from behind one of the lenses of his sunglasses and sat on top of his bald head like a toupee of black mucus. He snapped his fingers and the slime worked its way down his leg, up one of the urinals behind him, and it shot out like the tongue of some demonic frog and grabbed my head. The slime contracted and rammed my head against the porcelain, and I’m told they found me with my face in the urinal like I had passed out trying to eat the powder-scented cake.
I may have had a concussion. I didn’t go to the hospital to find out for sure. Instead, I went straight home and began working on rebuilding my film project in Windows Movie Maker. Nobody, and I mean nobody tells me what I can and cannot include in my films. Especially any of my dream figures that have the fucking audacity to say they aren’t one of my dream figures.
Retracing my steps within the project was lengthy, but steady. I found the same images. I found the same music. I was able to work up the same diagram and plot points and make it into a geometric configuration.
I stayed up until the wee hours typing the script, recording it, and compiling it all into a rushed but otherwise finished video.
Then I uploaded it.
I fell asleep in my computer chair and slept rather well.
I woke up earlier than I expected, probably owing to being slumped in my chair. There was time to make breakfast. I put on the coffee and dunked bread into the toaster. Yes sir, this day was going to be mine.
I went to pour the coffee when the coffee decided to suddenly grab my mug and throw it at my face. Understandably enough, I yelled. The coffee slurped onto the floor and crawled up the pant leg of the demonic Neville who tapped his cigarette and muttered about something tickling.
He was smoking in my apartment!
I pretty much had enough and I picked up my broom and swung it at Neville. He caught it like I was swinging a pool noodle. He kicked me backwards. The kinetic black gelatin rushed behind me and fanned out into a super-sticky web in time to catch me and there I was. Like a spider’s lunch.
“John Lenasca,” he began.
“Seeker of forbidden knowledge,”
He swung the broom around until it became a large viper with vivid copper eyes and a long black tongue that tasted the air.
“Finder of forbidden knowledge,”
He held the viper by the tail and let it put its snout in my face. The tongue tickled my cheek.
“Disseminator of forbidden knowledge,”
I opened my mouth to say something, but the viper seized on the moment to grab my tongue. I felt the fangs puncture the soft tissue and swell with poison. I screamed the most honest scream I knew.
“You’re a few turns and tumbles from solving reality’s Rubik’s cube and finding out what the very fabric of reality is woven from.”
He snapped his wrist and the viper became a sharp metal hook that was pierced through my tongue. He pulled on it, bringing my bulging eyes within an inch of his glasses. I could see my reflection. I looked like a frightened farm animal.
“And you’re too stupid to know a warning when you see one.”
He took his cigarette from his tattooed lips. I was close enough to see that the cherry was a spectral face that looked as terrified as I did. He extinguished it on my tongue and I couldn’t fight off the urge to convulse. The pain was tremendous.
He blew smoke up my nostrils that was ten times more acrid than anything I’ve ever smelled off a cig.
He made eyes at me like he was either going to kiss me or bite my face off.
“Looks like we’re just going to have to take you apart, brick by brick, you know? Like a Jenga tower. A little pain here. A little sleep deprivation there. Add a dash of gnawing dread and good ol’ jump scares and, well, you’ll be too unraveled to spin any more yarns about the secrets of the universe.”
The opposite end of the hook grew a spiked phantom chain that he flung up into the ceiling around some invisible beam or rafter and caught the end as it came back down. He gave it a tug and I was hoisted up into the air, hanging by my impaled tongue. I expected it to tear out of my head.
“You won’t remember your own name when I’m done with you,” he said. He gave the chain a yank and my face smashed into the ceiling.
He did this several more times until I couldn’t see or hear anything.
I didn’t make it to work. I didn’t make it to the bathroom either. I lay there on my kitchen floor, a brain in a broken box, in a spreading puddle of my own piss. I thought he had stuffed a sock in my mouth or something. Nope. It was my swollen tongue.
I wanted to tell someone about this development in my filmmaking career. But who would believe me? Who would even be able to understand me when I talked?
Do you think I got out the yellow pages? Nope. Facebook is so much better.
* * * * * *
I expected what I saw in the movies. A run-down hole in the wall full of old books, beaded curtains, and an old crone with a Transylvanian accent. It turned out to be a very modern and comfortable little shop. The walls were white and so was the rest of the overall color scheme. Large windows allowed for generous sunbeams. The sign out front was worthy of a Hallmark store, its swirling wine-colored letters spelling out “Elle Vin’s Awakening Station.”
Elle Vin herself was, well… kinda hot. She was a petite blonde with crow’s feet only just beginning to suggest themselves in her chestnut eyes.
I thought I smelled exotic incense in the air. Turns out it was the tea that she had steeping in her cup. There was something about her that suggested she was no charlatan. Before we had even exchanged words, I already felt like I could trust her. At the very least, if she couldn’t help me, it wouldn’t be because she couldn’t try.
She looked up from her tarot cards and smiled warmly.
“Hello, how can I help you today?”
No sooner had she said the words than her smile began to drop. Yessir, I looked bad.
“Goodness gracious, you poor thing. What happened to you? Do I need to call the police?”
I gestured no. With my tongue swollen up like a tomato, I barely managed one word: “Hom-ted.” Comprehension came over her eyes.
“Come over here and I’ll give you a reading right away.”
She sat me down before a very interesting configuration of a bowl of water with a mirror positioned in the bottom of it. On the right side of the mirror were two crystals.
“I’m going to ask you to put your hand on one of the crystals and lean over the bowl, but don’t look into it.”
I nodded.
I could tell that she was peering intently into the bowl, her eyes lit up with significance.
Then she was blinking, as if what she saw was too much for her eyes to take in. She eyed me for a long moment.
“You’re prepared to believe me if I tell you something… extreme?”
I nodded as gravely as I could.
She leaned forward with her chin on the tips of her fingers.
“You’ve caught the attention of a very high-tier demon.”
“No thip, Therlop!” I sputtered. I mean, what was she going to tell me next? Water’s wet?
“But I don’t understand. This is like the President of the United States leaving the White House to beat up a homeless man in Alaska.”
Her eyes narrowed at me. “You know something. Something that makes this presence feel threatened. Or intimidated.”
I gestured like I was scribbling in the air. She held up a finger and left the table. She came back with a legal pad and a pen.
I managed to begin making the sacred geometric shape I had been working on. I had to build it from the bottom up. The single plot points. Then the lines. It was when the lines began to take shape that she arrested my drawing hand. Her eyes were boring into mine with warning. And fear.
“You’re staying here tonight if you want to live,” she said in a low voice.
Soon there was salt everywhere. Really exotic looking stuff. Big and chunky and slightly pink. It was on the windowsills. The blinds were turned so that they would hold some of the salt like troughs.
She smeared all kinds of smelly shit on me. And when I say shit, I mean herbs and other things. I don’t think any of it was literal shit. I wasn’t gonna ask.
Best of all, she gave me something that cut down the swelling of my tongue. I could talk again. My first intelligible words were, “Thank you.”
She smiled. I couldn’t tell if the look in her eyes was warmth or pity.
“Who else have you shown what you drew for me earlier?”
“Nobody directly. I made a video about it and…”
Her eyes widened at my words.
“…I uploaded it to my YouTube Channel. I mean… I made it a point to state that what I was talking about was speculation.”
The way she held herself after she heard that... She almost looked like she regretted having anything to do with me.
“Here’s the short version. I don’t know how you learned what you know. But you’re one step away from becoming the first man to go to sleep and dream of picking a flower and then wake up with it in your hand.”
I blinked.
“And that means knowing what makes up the threads of time and space, and knowing how to unravel them and rearrange them.”
“Bullshit,” I said.
She just smiled.
“You’ve pretty much broadcasted knowledge that only angels and demons know. An exclusive branch of them, at that. That’s like learning the nuclear codes and posting them on Reddit. You’ve wounded some egos out there, since you figured it out entirely on your own.”
Great. My films were striking a nerve on a supernatural level. I felt proud of myself.
Until night.
Windows rattled. Lights flickered. Blinds swayed. But the barriers of salt held fast. I bared my teeth at the commotion.
“Hell can take you and your parlor tricks back, Neville!” I shouted, sounding girlier than I hoped.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with this pizza then?” came a voice from behind the front door.
“Oh.”
I opened the door to see the most confused-looking Domino’s delivery driver I had ever seen.
“Sorry. Uh, the D&D crew is getting a little carried away tonight.”
He nodded as I tipped him, the look not leaving his face. He saluted with one hand and left.
Elle came into my makeshift sleep space. She wore a furry white robe that she swore was synthetic.
“Did I hear the door open?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I ordered pizza.”
“I told you not to open that door for anyone!”
“Sorry, the vegan food isn’t keeping me full for more than ten minutes at a time.”
She grabbed her head, looking down. Then froze.
“What did you do to my circle of protections?”
“Oh, you mean the –”
“Yes, yes! The white chalk layer! You drew in it!”
“I figured just in case the forces-that-be actually make it inside, we could give them something special. I’ve studied my notes through Google Drive. No, really. I think I might have made something cool here.”
The woman did what most women do to me at least once. (Hey, get out of the gutter.) She swatted the back of my head. The pizza box in my hand flew open and a pseudopod of black foulness shot out and knocked Elle’s head off in a clean separation. Her blood jetted onto her hard work laid out on the floor around me. The blackness from the pizza box grew into the towering shape of Neville, who looked even more sinister than before.
He looked me up and down and shook his head.
“I was going to slowly tear your mind apart. Now I think I’ll drag you to Hell with me and we’ll burn that body in very, very creative ways. You have more square feet of flesh than the average bear, which means you have more pain receptors to play with.”
He sauntered towards me.
“I’m saving your blood for my best wine glass.”
I flicked out a knife I had hidden.
“Looks like you’re getting just a few drops.”
And with that I slashed my own throat, my spewing blood mingling with Elle’s. I registered the falter in Neville’s air of self-assurance. I managed to take my palm and douse it in my hot blood and stamp a few prints along the white chalk outline.
“You’re no sorcerer–”
His words were cut off as the pool of mingled blood launched twelve furious cats at him. Cats using the blood to manifest. The very cats that were orphaned by Shannon’s air conditioner. Oh boy, were they pissed about starving to death. The blood-cats mauled Neville into a pile of ashes. The way he cried as he plummeted down back toward his home told me that he wasn’t going to receive a successful debriefing.
I floated above my body that was bleeding out. I was mildly surprised to find that I felt an upward tug. I could resist it, but it was slowly mounting with strength.
So you know what? I visited Rebecca to tell her goodbye. She was sleeping on her side with her face nuzzled into her pillow. I gave her a little speech that may or may not have sounded as creepy as it was wistful. Not that she could hear me. I finished with telling her that I hoped that she would make management someday. By then, the upward tug was irresistible, and I stopped fighting it. The night was full of stars, and they only got more breathtaking on the way up.

Gambit, a Comedy of Errors. Or, A Solo Beginners Guide to Competitive Easter Egg Hunts.
So you want to be bad guys huh? Well ol’ toasty is back to let you in on a few secrets. Gambit is a far cry from the crucible, it's the real lawless frontier of destiny, and everyone's got a price on their head. So let's get to it.
(Before I go any further I would like to clearly point out that this is not a “how to fix gambit” post).

Ch 1: No Country For Old Dads

If you forget this I will take a bath with my jötunn plugged into the socket
The rules of both gambit modes are simple; Kill waves of ads to spawn motes, collect the motes, run back to the bank in the middle to deposit, sabotage the other team, summon the primeval and kill it first.
Regular gambit is a “best of three “ game mode, with easier ads, less frequent invasions and a tiebreaker round that immediately begins at the boss phase.
Gambit prime Is the single round version. There are four optional armor sets you can unlock that will place you into designated rolls and provide buffs to you and your team. The primeval phase is divided into timed dps phases, kill the 3 envoys where they spawn to begin each new damage phase.
Due to the lack of balance changes, I wouldn't suggest dipping into gambit if you want a stress-free grind or are sick of the meta, also LIGHT LEVEL MATTERS IN GAMBIT FOR PVP LIKE IRON BANNER
Roleplay
In regular gambit there are two main roles, invader and bottoms. Ok in all seriousness it's invader and ad clear.

• Ad clear is what everyone is supposed to be while not invading. You go to your 9-5, kill aliens all shift, maintain finances by collecting and depositing motes, remove blockers from the establishment, and send some back because you’re the employee keeping the establishment running. If an Invader arrives, fight back unless you have too many motes. Since this is a solo guide I will stress the fact that you need a viable weapon and strategy to defend against invaders. I will go more in-depth later.
• Invaders, your job is to ruin everyone’s day. Before a primeval is summoned your number one priority is to hunt down players with motes. When all else fails you stop them from getting to the bank. When the enemy summons their primeval your priority is to restore the primeval’s health by killing guardians.

Gambit Prime has 4 roles with the armor unlocked, which you get from doing the reckoning and the weekly helmet bounties from drifter.

• Reaper, your job is to slaughter the enemies of humanity who thought they’d be home in time for space Christmas. With all the perks unlocked you can debuff yellow bar enemies/high-value targets, mark them for your team, provide green ammo for your team on killing sprees, recharge your grenades faster, and make motes that last longer.
• Sentry, if its made of interdimensional goop, shuts down the bank, or rhymes with debater, go out of your way and kill it. With all perks unlocked: killing regular enemies will give you a one-hit buff against taken, damaging an invader marks them for everyone else (like OEM or tether), standing near the bank heals you, and standing in the pool of light during the primeval phase will boost team stats.
• Invader, we get it, you do Crossfit, drive a lifted truck, and slept with the mom of every kid you match online, but can you walk the walk? Your job is the same as regular gambit but with a “few” added bonuses. With all perks unlocked: kinetic and energy weapons reload over time while invading, you have an even better overshield, gain stacks of bonus damage back on your side by killing guardians, and most importantly, completely lock the enemy bank by invading and drain motes while standing near it (hint hint bubble bros).
• Collector, pick up those motes like you’re a teenager and mom is coming upstairs to check if you‘ve cleaned up. While it is tempting to go for giant blockers DO NOT do so unless your teammates graduated top of their class in the navy seals, instead focus on banking when it will inconvenience the enemy team the most, more on that later. With the full armor unlocked you can: drop a small percentage of motes on death, gain an overshield by picking up 5 motes, gain special and kinetic ammo anytime you bank, and summon a giant blocker with 20 motes.

If you don't have any armor you are ad clear, you can be an invader if nobody with the bright neon-red glowing invader armor is present on your team. If its an emergency anyone can hop through or the invader has been unsuccessful the majority of the game, give them at least two tries. Additionally, if someone has the bright white collector armor PLEASE let them collect motes first, it's literally their job.
Know thy enemy as thine knows thy recipe to kraft mac n cheese
Gambit features all enemy races in the game, if they were actually coordinated and played to the strengths and weaknesses of each unit, and are bound to certain “rules”

• To progress the game you must kill every or almost every ad that spawns in a wave, radar is your best friend here.
• In regular gambit enemy unit composition changes each round.
• Blockers do not travel far from the bank but can still map you.
• If one team really starts falling behind, shiny enemies worth 5 motes will begin to spawn, these are pathetically weak and are worth a small free blocker.
• In regular gambit, a high-value target will spawn sometime during one of the rounds. In Gambit Prime a high-value target will always spawn sometime during the match. Word of caution for gambit prime, if you so much as think too loud around the high-value target you will be rewarded a reaper synth, If you don’t want a reaper synth don’t hurt it whatsoever.

Geography class
Relax, I’m not going to be testing you on the 50 states and capitals, this’ll be easy as a BuzzFeed quiz. All the maps are briefly explained in this handy google docs sheet.

CH 2 Professionals Have Standards

Now comes the real meat for my vault hoarders. Depending on your role you will need to prepare differently. But the golden rule here is that this is a SOLO player guide, which means get ready to be that single parent juggling everything.
Going Commando
Your goal for every build as a solo player is to carry your team by covering all of your bases: Ad clear, guardian bullying,
and boss phase. You achieve this by balancing all 3 weapon slots, your subclass and having the capability to engage at long distance and close quarters. Another personal tip from me to you is to give either your primary or special weapon the dual purpose of killing invaders.
An example of a well-rounded build without exotic weapons, or going into specifics may look like this.

• Warlock: Kinetic Pulse, energy shotgun, LMG, middle tree stormcaller.
• Hunter: Kinetic Sniper, energy handcannon, heavy grenade launcher top tree nightstalker.
• Titan: Kinetic handcannon, energy sniper, heavy grenade launcher, top tree striker.

Also, here are some Specific builds that I have used or seen work well.

• Warlock: Go figure pulse rifle, The Long Goodbye energy sniper, Anarchy GL, Crown of Tempests exotic helmet, Top tree stormcaller.
• Gambit prime Collector hunter: Imperial Decree kinetic shotgun, Jötunn exotic fusion rifle, wendigo gl3 grenade launcher, St0mp33s/ Orpheus Rigs, Top tree nightstalker.
• Titan: Izanagi’s burden exotic sniper rifle, kindled orchid hand cannon, wendigo gl3, insurmountable skullfort exotic helmet, Top tree striker.

The part where I crush your hopes and dreams
Gambit has such a skewed meta that a lot of players would rather not stay in the mode for too long. For classic mix 6 stack warriors, the experience will feel right at home. If you plan on invading remember that this game mode is still 90% PvE, so suck it up and equip something to kill ads. let's dive into what are the most viable options as of writing. Also, try to pick something that can work in a raid.
Primary Weapons

• Pulse rifles: aggressive frame (4 burst) pulse rifles are ok, outbreak perfected is good since it can do just about everything except file taxes, bad juju for fast super.
• SMG's: Huckleberry, riskrunner in some scenarios, recluse, ReClUsE, R E C L U S E.
• Handcannons, kindled orchid, curated nation of beasts, spare rations/ midnight coup. Honorable mentions are rampage-dragonfly trust and malfeasance.
• Scout rifles: Polaris Lance or if you’re desperate, any legendary that kills faster than 1 redbar every leap year.
• Auto rifles??? Ok fine, choose either a bullet hose or slow but hard-hitting variant, pick sweet business if you want to flex.
• Bows: Le Monarque, take your butter sandwich or leave it.
• Sidearms: not even rat king will save you.
• Fighting lion: it can work, but if you miss you reduce your efficiency drastically. Even Wei Ning would prefer you used regular punches.
• Did I mention recluse?

Special Weapons

• Snipers: Izanagi’s burden, Sole Survivor, and Tranquility. Oh boy, I wonder If some idiot wrote an entire guide about sniper rifles that has been revised yet again.
• Shotguns: All the shotguns with 1-2 punch; One Small Step, Last Man Standing, Emperor’s Courtesy, Prophet of Doom. All shotguns with trench barrel also work: Imperial Decree, Threat Level, IKELOS_SG_v1.0.1 .
• Fusion rifles: Loaded question, Telesto, and Jötunn. Many people don’t like using Jötunn out of principle, but the problem is that it works whether you like it or not.
• Grenade launchers: M O U N T A I N T O P.
• Arbalest, It can work but keep in mind that the enemy invader might be a human aimbot so be warned.
• Eriana’s vow, it’s ok, but will suffer immensely at long distances such as invasions or primeval phase.
• Trace rifles: Haha very funny, unless it's Prometheus lens or divinity.

Power Weapons

• LMGs: Hammerhead is a classic in this slot, Fixed Odds is not too shabby either, and of course Thunderlord. If you use an LMG for dps I will pop a screeb pimple and make you drink it without milk.
• Swords: These would be top tier BUT, stomp mechanics exist in the game, so be cautious. For Titans and Hunters both class exclusive swords open up wonderful high damage builds, for warlocks, I suggest farming strykers sure hand. Both exotic swords can put in work during invasions especially worldline zero.
• Grenade Launchers: Love and Death, Anarchy, The prospector. Wendigo gl3 is a good substitute for a poor 150 rpm grenade launcher roll. Spike grenades= good.
• Let me gush about anarchy real fast. This gun can kill a primeval with 2 shots if done perfectly, Its ammo economy is absolutely bananas. And the best part is it does all its damage by itself letting you multitask.
• Rocket launchers: Truth, any legendary with tracking. These only exist for one purpose, to smite enemy guardians.
• Linear fusion rifles: A thousand voices if you have it. Crooked Fang is the only real legendary option.
• Exotic shotguns: tractor cannon, it's great ad clear, envoy clear, debuffs big targets, and if you are tired of invaders channel your inner titan and hold w.
• Exotic snipers: Whisper of the Worm. Xol has been grumpy ever since he went on the keto diet, help him out a little.
• Leviathan’s breath: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, I guess it can boop invaders around?

Power ammo

• Power ammo spawns near your bank in two locations at set intervals of 2 minutes, with the first brick spawning at 1 minute into the match.
• Power ammo can drop from enemies, usually one brick per round in regular gambit, and once or twice in gambit prime. Use ammo finders for more drops.
• There is an unspoken rule to reserve power ammo for invaders. If the invader chooses to not use the power ammo it's usually free game.

Ch 3 Banging Knuckles

Now that we’ve covered the basics of the game mode and what to bring to the fight, let's dig into the main course, strategy
LiStEn Up GoOd PeOpLe Of ThE cItY
Please please pleeeeaaassseeeee turn the dialogue up. Drifter will tell you just about everything that's going on including but not limited to

• Where the enemy waves are spawning.
• When there are blockers.
• That you’re a snitch.
• When your portal is open, and if someone has entered it.
• If a high-value target has spawned.
• When you have enough motes to summon the primeval.
• WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH MOTES TO SUMMON THE PRIMEVAL FOR THE SAKE OF WHAT IS GOOD AND PURE IN A WORLD WITH WEEBS AND FURRIES IN IT.
• When to begin dps in gambit prime.

A fistful of motes
Motes are the heart and soul of gambit. First off there is a hierarchy to mote collecting;

1. Anyone with a nearly maxed out mote limit
2. Collectors in gambit prime
3. Everyone else.
4. Cockroaches.
5. People who slide after motes when everyone else is 1 away.

Additionally, motes have a limited lifespan and will despawn after a short period of time, this will be indicated by increasingly faster flashes of light so be mindful.
Just like real-life economics, your goal is to screw over the competition. Collect motes in multiples of 5, and deposit them at the bank. This will spawn taken enemies on the other side that prevent them from depositing their motes. Blockers also come in different varieties.

• 5 motes, small blocker. This spawns a weak taken goblin that will shield any taken enemy near the bank. These are most useful with other blockers or if the other team summoned their primeval first. More often than not you will send a small blocker because you are in a panic.
• 10 motes, medium blocker. I have an axe to grind with these captain cinnamon toast fucks. If taken captains were people they would kick every dog, drop every baby, and disconnect your life support to recharge their kindle. They teleport approximately every 5 Planck seconds, spam their vegemite ball, and melt you with enough dps that Datto wants to recruit one for his next world’s first attempt. In short, send as many of these as possible before the primeval race begins.
• 15 motes, large blocker. This spawns a beefy taken knight that is an absolute nightmare with back up. These knights will kill you in a few shots and rain down enough fire and fury to make the Vietnam War look like a candlelit vigil. If the enemy team has summoned their primeval send as many of these as possible, it will force the other team to hide in spawn or seriously commit to clearing your blockers before dealing with the boss.
• 20 motes, Giant blocker, gambit prime only. Only collectors with the max aura can summon a giant blocker. These are… disappointing to say the least. The giant blocker’s only real utility is to deploy a “darkness” tether that acts much like the nightstalker tether and might trap your opponents. Unfortunately, they are like the Hulk from Avengers: Endgame, too passive. If you need to summon these for a bounty, try to avoid doing so if your teammates are less than stellar or you don’t like fighting invaders. If you lose 20 motes that is almost equivalent to the number of motes necessary to open the invasion portal for your team (25).

The timing of when to bank motes is perhaps the most important take away I can give.

• At the top middle of your screen, there is a meter divided into increments of 25 that displays the number of motes both teams have picked up (light grey), and the number of motes currently deposited (colored).
• Every 25 motes deposited will give the respective team an invasion opportunity, and at max meter, it will summon the primeval.
• In a perfect world where every show gets a season 2, you want to keep the grey bar as small as possible to minimize the risk of being set back irreparably.

But the name of the game is Gambit, a gamble, and there are a few tricks to improve your odds.

• Your goal at the very start of the game is to reach 25 motes before the other team. At this phase send mostly medium and small blockers. You will need 5 small blockers by themselves or ideally, 1 small blocker and 2 medium blockers. The latter option will force the enemy team to burn more resources and waste time.
• When your invader is doing their thing, send as many medium and big blockers as possible. Unless the enemy team are C&B torture enthusiasts, they will not attempt to clear the bank during the invasion.
• After the first invasion, a good time to bank is in between enemy waves, try to make it a habit to visit the bank if it is directly on the way to the next zone.
• Anytime that the enemy's light grey bar is very full and you have 5+ motes BANK IMMEDIATELY, this is 1929 and the stock market is about to come crashing down like a warsat on blueberries.
• When drifter tells you that you can summon a primeval.
• Once again when drifter tells you to, B A N K T H E F U C K I N G M O T E S. It doesn’t matter if you have 1 mote or 14, just bank them. Bungie pays Todd Haberkorn good money to continually remind everyone that they can literally win the game then and there.
• If you have to finish bounties by collecting motes, please consider playing one more match of gambit out of respect for your teammates that also have bounties and quests and are relying on you to be a team player. And guess what, if you summon the primeval faster, the game ends faster, the less grind you have to do.

Taking out the trash
The ad clear portion of gambit is the most straightforward element and can be broken down into enemy race facts, ammo economy, and super economy. You will fight all enemy races in gambit except for nightmares.
Enemies in gambit will be much more difficult than usual and are more akin to raid difficulty.

• Fallen, main damage is arc/solar, will spawn enemies with arc and void shields. Watch out for invisible marauders, and servitors will constantly do the big succ.
• Cabal, main damage is solaarc, will spawn enemies with solar and arc shields. No drop pods but kill turrets ASAP.
• Hive, main damage is void/ solar, spawn enemies with arc and solar shields. Wizards and shriekers are a menace so be warned.
• Vex, main damage is void/ solar, spawn enemies with void shields. Minotaurs, cyclops’, and hobgoblins, enough said.
• Scorn, all damage types, all shield types. Fuck gambit scorn with a cactus: the totems will ruin your day, the screebs will ruin your day, everything exists to ruin your day. In short, don’t rush in like an idiot, be methodical.

Your special and heavy ammo are incredibly valuable resources that need to be managed carefully.

• Try to save special ammo for Invaders, orange bar enemies, blockers, and beefier red enemies such as knights, captains, minotaurs, etc.
• Try to use heavy ammo exclusively for primeval dps and fighting the invader. Use it to clear the bank in emergencies
• If you use an entire rocket on a thrall, not even satan wants you anymore.

Supers should be mainly used for ad clear or boss dps, and are the easiest way a team can snowball.

• Kill as many trash ads as possible to make orbs of light to begin a super chain.
• At the start of later rounds it is usually a good idea to wait briefly lest you and a teammate both accidentally activate supers at the same time ruining the chain.
• Your choice of subclass and super should be entirely dependant on PVE. The pvp portion is important, but too brief.

The Wild Hunt
Gambit wouldn’t be gambit without invasions now, would it? Invasions are arguably the most important moments in a match. An effective invasion can literally undo half a team’s progress and allow the other to snowball to victory. Invaders this one’s for you.
Today’s forecast is...

• If your team’s light grey bar is about to touch, is touching, or just barely passes the 25 mote mark, start running back. This is because your team is carrying or about to carry enough motes to open the portal if they bank. Pay attention to your own motes because you might have enough to open it yourself.
• There will be a text and audio prompt when your portal is ready.
• D O N O T C A M P T H E P O R T A L. No sympathy here, If you pay attention to the meter then you won't have to worry about your teammates getting there first.
• If someone else is portal camping but you care about winning, there really isn't anything you can do except go back to killing ads, try to send a polite message if possible, and report them if necessary. Alternatively, titans can yeet them out of the way but you didn’t hear that from me.
• Bank your mote, reload your weapons, check all your ability meters, and decide if you’re using your super or not.
• Its ok not to be the dedicated invader, we are here to support you coming out to us as a team player. It doesn’t make you any less cowardly a hunter, wimpy a warlock, or any dumber as a titan. You are all so brave and we love you just the way you are.

High Noon

• You have 30 seconds per invasion. You will be given wallhacks in the form of a name tag over the head that indicates how many motes they are currently carrying.
• This is a bakery, the blueberry muffins all cost the same but you want the biggest one. Go after the guardians with the most motes first.
• If you at least prevent any motes from being deposited during your invasion, you increase your chances of winning despite the 1 inch/ 2.5 cm you lose on your internet schlong or lady-schlong.
• Some guardians like to hide, some like to rush to the bank, others will fight back.
• Some guardian hiding spots actually benefit you since they are dead ends, that being said, be prepared to greet the barrel of a hot metal .45.
• Always assume the entire enemy team is trained in guerilla warfare.
• Use portals to cover distance quickly, give a surprise from behind, or a quick escape.
• More likely than not the enemy team will use heavy and special ammo to fight you, fight back with extreme prejudice and overkill.
• During the primeval phase everyone is fair game, and 99.99% of teams will stay in spawn. If you can't kill them, force them to hide.
• In regular gambit your portal opens every 15 seconds during the enemy team’s primeval phase after your first invasion during this phase. That being said, DO NOT immediately use the first invasion portal. Wait until they start damaging the boss. You will need to guesstimate and start booking it when they are about 5-10 seconds away from doing so, (this comes with experience).
• In gambit prime I am 99% sure the invasion portal will open automatically when they start killing envoys, once again you will need to time your invasion carefully.
• As a continuation to my last two points, the best invasion is timed exactly when they begin dps. A good team will wait for you to leave before starting dps so don’t get there early.

Oh? You’re approaching me?
Alright, bottoms it's your turn. Invaders think they’re hot shit because “drifter loves me most since I’m emo and kill guardians with heavy ammo”, I’m here to tell you that they’re dead wrong. You are not trapped on your side with an invader, they’re trapped on your side with you.
Somethings wrong I can feel it
The first step to successfully repel a bitch ass invader is to know when they’re coming and how to manage your motes. Thankfully the meter and dialogue box tells you almost everything.

• Be mindful of your mote count at all times, check after every collecting spree.
• When the enemy team’s grey bar is very close to or has passed a 25 mote interval they will be invading soon.
• When the text prompt says “enemy invasion portal active” run to the bank if possible, take in your immediate surroundings, or pick where to hide.
• If a family reunion of blockers has begun at your bank, an invader is probably next.

Current objective: Survive
During an invasion, you have proper two choices, hide with your massive mote collection, or fight back. Alternatively, you can deny yourself entry into a good afterlife by continuing to collect motes. Let's start by getting a general idea of how to survive.

• The invader will spawn in either left, middle, or right and NEVER spawn where the ads are, (unless the timing of the ads and invader are too close, in this case, the invader will spawn in either of the opposite areas to the side in which you just finished clearing ads).
• TL;DR- When an invader spawns you have about a 50% chance of guessing which side they are.
• Where your teammates die is indicated by a skull that appears on your HUD. Additionally, you will be told what weapon the invader used. I know this will be hard for titans and hunters, but you can put two and two together and estimate how far the invader was from them.
• Many invaders use the exact same perches and vantage points.
• If you have 8+ motes I suggest hiding. Get out of the open immediately, find cover, and ideally, an area where you can force the invader into a beneficial line of sight/bottleneck AND has an escape route.
• ~15 motes. OH SHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING! RUN BITCH RUNNNNN!!! Try to hide in the most remote location with escape routes. Ideally, try to make it into spawn, it is a dead-end but takes more time and its harder for the invader to get there unnoticed...
• If there are portals, use them to bamboozle tunnel-visioned invaders. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve hopped into the drill portal on the Nessus map and clapped hardscopers. Furthermore, If an invader is in the middle you can constantly hop between portals to confuse them until they pick a side, then you make a mad dash for safety.

Thot patrol
This is where the fun begins. Most invaders are forced to hoard heavy ammo and are given wallhacks because if they didn’t, THEY’D be the ones in constant danger. Let's get ready to cyberbully.

• Treat invasions somewhat like the crucible. Apes together strong, team shoot even stronger.
• Always assume the invader has the firepower and precision of Bakengangsta one pill away from overdosing on Adderall.
• That being said, using your super just to shut down the invader can save the day, just have a plan b for ad clear or dps.
• If you are being melted, running back to cover is only a temporary solution, you will need to re-evaluate the situation again.
• Arm yourself with a long-range primary or energy weapon. Pulse rifles, scout rifles, and sniper rifles are all great picks.
• Any weapon with tracking works wonders as long as you don't sit down, lay out a picnic blanket and wait for the projectile to reach its destination.
• Fight power ammo with power ammo, they have wallhacks so the Geneva Convention no longer applies.
• Use the portals to your advantage. You want the invader to feel like they are fighting Rambo, The Predator, Jaguar Paw, and Kevin McCallister all at once.

Endgame
So you finally made it to the primeval phase, this is where the real gunfight begins. Both game modes have different mechanics but follow the same principles.

• Kill the big taken boss first to win.
• Kill the envoys to weaken the primeval or begin dps.
• Enemy invasion portal instantly opens when you summon your primeval.
• Defend yourself from any ads that spawn.
• The Primeval gets weaker over time with a debuff known as “Primeval Slayer”
• Invasions are now much more frequent.
• Any deaths during an enemy invasion will heal your primeval, feel free to kill yourself after.

Regular Gambit

• Killing both envoys will instantly give you Primeval Slayer x2. It is highly recommended to use one super to kill the envoys quickly. They will not respawn.
• If the game continues to round 3, you will start at the primeval phase and have instant super, your super will also recharge much faster during this tie-breaker round, heavy ammo will stay the same but 1 brick will be available at the start.
• once the first enemy invasion begins, they will have their usual 30 seconds to invade BUT they will be able to invade again in 15 SECONDS.
• Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack don’t let your guard down you prick.

Gambit prime

• To begin dps you will need to kill 3 envoys, 1 of each flavor.
• When you start killing envoys the enemy invasion portal will open.
• Once the 3rd envoy the dps phase begins and a well of light will spawn, stand in it for increased damage, but be careful it DOES NOT heal you...
• The portal will open every minute and ten seconds if you do absolutely nothing and the invader walks through. I wasn’t able to test whether or not killing the first or last envoy triggers the enemy’s next invasion since I was testing solo. But invasions In the primeval phase are triggered by your team’s progress so congrats on doing well, you get a free detriment as your reward, stickers are in the gift shop.

Minutes to Midnight
The primeval isn't a strike boss that you can melt in half a second with a feather, you can still melt it in half a second like everything else in the game but you need to plan accordingly.

• In regular gambit 99.99% of players will fight the primeval from spawn or right in front of it because it usually has the best cover AND is facing all 3 zones an invader can spawn in.
• In gambit prime the invader will spawn where there are no envoys or the pool of light.
• Once you have around 2x Primeval slayer is a good time to start using heavy and super.
• Apply buffs and debuffs if possible or if your team hasn’t used up through all their supers and heavy ammo like teenagers blow through their first paycheck.

CH 4 TL;DR and Closing Thoughts

This was a doozy to write and didn’t leave much room for humor without having to write an entire encyclopedia. I’ll make a sacrifice to my dark god, the American Psychological Association (APA), and give a brief summary of the most important points.

• Do what's best for the team, not everyone has to be the hero nor are you entitled to anything.
• Be mindful of the meter, dialogue, and what drifter tells you.
• Be aware of your surroundings.
• Bring a good all-around build.

I love gambit a lot and I’m a little disheartened to see it in its current state. I encourage new players to experiment through trial and error to find a fun and effective build. When you find a strategy that consistently pumps out good results, go absolutely ham with it. Veteran players, correct me where I’m wrong so I can make edits and give some of your own tips and tricks.
Be notorious!
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Edit 1: completely forgot about swords, whoops!

Okayyyyyyyyy... This is gonna be a big mess. I wanna say ahead, and I hope it doesn't sound too forced or phony, but I really do thank you for taking time out to read this and giving me some closure on something that, now that I'm typing this out, feels kinda silly to be taking so... Cereal (shoutouts to South Park, anyone?)
I honestly don't know where to start on describing myself. I'd LOOOVE to tell you guys the entire story, but it would take years, and I know I'm not nearly as interesting as I sometimes feel I am (heh heh... Enneagram 4 problems whoop whoop, that's the only personality labelly apparatus I kinda know I am), plus describing myself with general labels feels too broad, generic, and phony, and I'm also pretty sure at least 5 people downvoted or just outright left this tab with how I'm typing everything out and rambling... and AHHH... LOL. Okie dokes, muh Reddit chokes... Uh... Also, I got: Empathizer, Peace Keeper, Thinker, Brainstormer, and Storyteller on the High5 Test, and Harmony, Restorative, Adaptability, Includer, and Intellection on my StrengthsFinder Quiz thing I took for this college course, idk if that piece of info helps or nah...
Okurrr, imma try to be as descriptive and brief as my rambling overthinking ass can possibly be (that statement is an oxymoron of the most supreme proportions).
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• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I somehow lasted 22 years here, Jesus Christ. Uh... Male. General description.. Yeaa... I mean, being general is kinda hard for me, ya know (being AntiUnderthinking, and all) Feels kinda impersonal, almost as bad as when you're in class and you have to tell the whole class stuff about you (YIKES). But uh... I guess where I'm at in life is a good start. I just graduated college and I'm in the process of "getting my shit together", and oh God what a nightmare it is. I'm pacing myself, trying to develop some good habits, forcing myself to use my time wisely, and trying to set small, realistic goals to keep myself grounded and off "the doing too much at once and getting insanely neurotic and burnt out train". It's a LOT, because I really should not have gone to college. I hated my major (computer science, I am not a maths person) but was forced to attend because of a combination of pressure from family and just a lot of other nonsense.. Really wish I could have gone for something I wanted, like creative writing, or art, but those are too "kiddy" and "not realistic" or "real degrees" *sigh* (I super love how the world works)
What else? Likes? Too damn many. I like a lot of stuff (super helpful, I know) and I can find myself questioning my own opinion a lot, so like... I really don't know sometimes. Music, art, video games, metaphysical stuff, and TONS of maymayz are probably like most of my interests nowadays, along with the general TV, social media, and reading a gazillion articles a day (yay browser narcotics), especially TV Tropes.
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• Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/comportamental stability somehow?

I have never been officially diagnosed with anything. My family kinda has a mental health "stigma" and it was a BIG deal in one of my worst chapters in life, so officially, I don't have anything. As for what I suspect? TONS (As you'd expect from someone's whose username is AntiUnderthinking). One of my healthy habits I'm trying to actively practice is not getting in the process of trying to put a billion labels of mental health diagnoses on myself. I did this a LOT back in the day because I felt there was a lot wrong with me. The words "crazy", "weirdo", and lots of other things tossed at me constantly likely caused this disturbance in me. I always knew I was "different", but growing up and feeling super ostracized by everyone and not having a real support system really sent in tidal waves of self-loathing, poor habits, and toxic behavior within me. In the end, I really don't know. I wanna say I was okay all along, but I had and hid a lot of trauma, and in that trauma hurt myself and others out of a deep pain from the far too many holes in my heart, so what "label" or "diagnosis" it is, I really truly don't know... Broken HSP child is the best I've got lol. I honestly suspect, but don't hold it against her, that my mom might have hid that I may have been autistic or something else (ya know, that whole mental health stigmatism and whatnot). I read some notes between her and my teacher a long time ago, about me not playing with the other kids and other stuff that I blocked out of my memory. And I have some vague memories of briefly being in a special needs type of deal a few days in elementary.
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• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

This one is kinda weird for me. My immediate house was not religious, like at all. We didn't go to church or anything like that when I was growing up. I'd say my household is deist (belief in a higher power, not one organized God). My grandparents of both sides were very Christian, and I definitely had a really close (almost at times closer) relationship with them growing up than my mom (single parent household, working full time, so not as much time together). And my relationship with it honestly is very complex and mixed.
I really loved my grandparents, a lot, I have some of the fondest memories of being at both their houses, through a lot of my worst times and some of my best. I was never really "fully" into it, I remember being "mad at God" a lot growing up, because of what I was going through and stuff, but I definitely wanted to appear religious to them, because who wants to upset their grandparents? They were never really extremely religious, just typical for people of the South, perhaps even more chill than most people in the South. And I did take it really seriously for most of my life growing up. Oh... And I guess I should mention I did attend religious schools growing up. Did I mention my relationship with religion is very peculiar?
In fact, I've attended religious schools my entire life, but the timeline of my personal beliefs is all over the place. Starting out, I was very very serious about it, then I'd say once I got closer to middle school, the real problems came out. While still being in a private religious school, I started to veer slowly away from it, for various reasons... One really traumatic incident was the discovery of the Westboro Baptist Church (an extremely hateful religious group). A "friend" told me about this video that he REALLY wanted me to see in a very sarcastic way (I was REALLY bad at picking up sarcasm at times back in the day) and I think that is where some of my loyalties to Christianity started to divide. That video was of the Westboro Baptist Church, I forget exactly what the title was, but he showed me the video to insult me. It was full of homophobic slurs, and a bunch of other things like "all gay people should die" and blah blah (people thought the very sensitive kid who hung out with a lot girls was gay, imagine that... yikes). At that point, I wasn't fully away from it, but the ongoing traumas I suffered definitely made me feel indifferent to it, more like it just really didn't matter because I was changing too rapidly as a person and a lot of my core as person was being picked at, chewed up, and spit out (middle to high school was REALLY rough).
Around maybe 10th or 11th grade (by far my worst years of high school), don't know what sparked the change, but I became a REALLY hardcore atheist. Some of this is really hard for me to write.. I still don't have much insight into why I felt this hurt, or behaved this way. I know the reason(s), but it really is hard for me to even rationalize, justify, and talk about.. This was also the peak of my "I'm Smarter and More Logical Than You" phase. During this time, I used the internet so, for lack of a better descriptor, toxicly. I was a dick to most of my real friends, sought out a lot of conflict on the internet just to feel smarter and superior, and had this martyrized (idk if that's a word but you get the point), special snowflake image of myself, I was also prone to playing the victim card at this time. Just... Abhorrent behavior that still hurts me and haunts me till this day... Sometimes I really can't even look myself in the mirror, and just... Ok.. I'm sorry if I'm being too dramatic. Buuuut, by this time I was a super atheist and detested all religions. Swam and bathed in "intellectual" (which is really just atheists being dicks, even if some of what they say is true) enlightened, neckbeard content. I was done with theism and totally detached from my true self, most of my heart, and things I valued previously. Those were just the worst years of my life..
I hid behind this extremely ugly and dark mask those years and wore it as armor. It still kinda makes me sick to my stomach... This battle was mostly internal, and how I spent my spare time, though a lot of my relationships suffered due to massive depression problems as a result of this mask and all the unhealed wounds and trauma. I never really told many of my friends or family about my new anti-theistic stance. Thankfully, it did kind of die down, because life just forced me past it and I managed to leave most of that phase behind. Around senior year, I was still not really religious, but was more or less indifferent, again. Ended up going to a religious college (scholarships woop woop) and had some wonderful religious friends, so I really fully dropped most of that toxic shit out of respect for their beliefs. I think I told a few about it, because some did ask and I was tired of lying to avoid all conflict, but still tried to respect their angles and let them take me to some religious things, because I love them goddammit, and I may not see it all the way like they do, but at least I'm not a close-minded misanthropic curmudgeon like I used to be. Nowadaysssss (Lil Uzi voice) I'm much more on the spiritual side.
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• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

Legally right now, I'm unemployed. The end of college was very strange... I basically had no skills, in life. Sucked at computer science, had nothing I could really do, but my mom expected me to work, and understandably so. The job search was not really productive. And my mom and I clashed heads a lot, and I released a lot of pent up emotions towards her (and felt like absolute shit..), but that led us to the point where I'm at now, which is the NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) lifestyle.. And honestly, I would be ecstatic, but I feel like an even BIGGER piece of shit for speaking my mind on stuff that I genuinely felt I was wronged by which I held in and never spoke of. Also feel like shit for being home all day, feeling worthless and like a disappointment because I have no skills in anything realistic and despise the fact that I have to be realistic to live in this exhausting world... *sigh*
Not giving up though. When I'm not being a gigantic bitch online or being way too introspective or brooding over nothing, I have started to build up some online side hustles and am taking it very seriously to get a little side income to help my mom out as much as I can. I know I would be horrible in a job involved with comp sci. Not only is math my least favorite subject, I never liked the idea of an office job and that soulless bureaucratic cycle of work, barely spend your last free hours taking care of responsibilities, sleep, repeat. Plus, I hate driving, and am just really bad at nearly everything computer science. I BARELY passed and got a degree in science. I had to reason and open up to my professor just so he could meet me halfway on some things. The side hustles are bringing in income, slowly, when I'm not overthinking my entire existence or my head isn't about to explode.. heh heh.
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• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

REALLY depends on the weekend... Generally super refreshed. Let's say hypothetically, that I currently have all my chickens lined up and all of that and my life was actually how I wanted it to be, then yes, a weekend alone would be very refreshing.
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• What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in?

Oh jeez Rick... I... I am either pretty coordinated and in tune with my environment, or I forgot how to contort a single body part and knock everything other and am always on the verge of falling. I played a few sports, but overall, I'm not really that into sports. I always like to have broad and open horizons, and I have enjoyed almost every sporting event I've been to, usually not for the sports or the outdoors itself though, just for the social interactions and foods. I usually do some of everything, tbh. Not against a good sporting event every now and then with the right friends. Growing up, it was mostly sporting events and some movies now and then, and those were all amazing experiences. I didn't get out much back in the day, and it definitely doesn't help that in my little section of the south, there's BARELY shit to do. In college, my friends and I would literally do random shit and those were our adventures, and they were really fun. Just making our way downtown. We'd go to bookstores, restaurants, game stores, probably other things too that I'm totally shooting a blank on. Mostly just chilling at other people's houses. I really like to think I can have a good time wherever, I just love being with good friends and having fun, memorable moments, deep talks, insides jokes, laughing, crying, all that.
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• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

Oh Jesus Christ... Sometimes my brain can't shut up about ideas, it's only kind of an advantage for one of my side hustles. I'm curious about everything. I'm shooting mad blanks and I've been rambling like a BIATCH, so a timeline of my major obsessions would be more productive. I first fell in love with writing and stories. I wanted to write SO MANY stories growing up, I took it so seriously. My imagination was my place where every strange character and idea came from, and I was fascinated on telling a good story with iconic characters, quotes, all that good stuff. I guess my interests were more environmental? I had a really deep and crazy imagination, but was mostly inspired by the stuff I consumed, like the media I loved growing up. Well, I was inspired by EVERYTHING. I'm sure I've tried to put most of my life at different points in my stories and artwork growing up, sometimes in abstract ways. I hope that makes a bit of sense... I'm kinda sleepy and deprived of it.
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• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

Whew... I am not gonna lie, I would be a TERRIBLE leader. I'd let everyone get away with almost everything. And have almost zero spine, and fluid in it, and be too weak willed. I never liked to tell anyone what to do or boss anyone around, and I used to, and still can if I'm not careful, insidiously avoid conflict. I don't like interfering with people being themselves. I'd listen to everyone, and try to hear everyone's side, and get almost nothing done.
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• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

In my head, I'm always James Bond and super cool and coordinated, but in reality, I range from the extreme of perfect coordination or move one muscle or just yawn or something and knock over everything as an accident. I probably just need to slow the fuck down, honestly. I can be kinda hands on, but I like exploring a ton and brainstorming first before I jump into something.
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• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I grew up with a natural inclination towards the art. I LOVE art and the arts as a whole. I drew a ton growing up. Don't know how I'd describe my art.. I used to, and still do, have a passion for it, and would love to improve on the craft in order to bring forth my dreams and feelings into reality. I kinda got away from art as I got away from my true self and packed myself under layers of protective, hard armors, and I know this wasn't a good change for me. My art definitely can be very particular. I usually do have one idea in mind when I start, but I can get lost in all the possibilities of the medium when I do start, I can fiddle around and change things about a picture all day before it's finished. My perfectionism and art definitely didn't mix well growing up, but some of those pieces I made weren't the worst thing ever.
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• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

I'm sometimes a slave to the past. I'm trying to forgive myself and others for any harm that was unnecessarily and at times unknowingly exchanged. I struggle to stay in the present, and if I had a penny for every second of maladaptive daydreaming I did, I'd have a fortune for every user on Reddit. The future used to, and still does to an extent, terrify me. I just hope I have enough time for everyone else and time for my own dreams as well. If I can have Bran Starks power of going to the past and revising some of the things I did wrong, but it wouldn't really "mess up" the timelines, I would go back and fix things. As it stands now, I just have to and want to move past the past. Being mindful and practicing mindful meditation helps me stay present, but also has the side effect of me remembering a lot of blocked out memories from the past. So perhaps it's helping me do both, move past the past and stay present? Not quite sure. My current plan of practicing good habits should allow me to have more time to plan my ideal future. It's gonna take some time, to realign, but if I look inside, I'm sure I'll fiiiind... Okay, couldn't resist. In all seriousness, I'm hopeful and looking forward to my future now more than ever, which is a good step in the right direction for me.
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• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I always help because I feel like it is the right thing to do. Even if I feel compelled to do something else, or crack a joke about them needing me, I always go through with it because... When I was younger so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way.. Ok lemme stop. I really do love doing for others though. It sounds so corny when I write it. I loved when people would open up to me for advice, or just to have someone to talk to, or for more practical things. The times I denied help out of my selfishness, I always regret it, even if I was having a bad day or needed to help myself, I find blame in those situations because I always feel I can be better (yay perfectionistic tendencies, yayyyy).
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Okay... I probably went on for way too long on some of those. I'm so sorry it got worse over time and REALLY bad at the end. Thanks everyone again for coming to my Red Talk.. I'm so damned sleepy, and I know I've waffled on and on and it probably wasn't that helpful in deciding what type I may be, or maybe it was... Idk anymore lol. Glad you read this far.. Okay y'all, I'm going to bed now. My username should have been "thanks, sorry, okay, uhhh, and at this point" LOL. For realsies though, I thank you for being so awesome, whoever you are

I took a self awareness/professional development quiz through my job called "Strengths Finders 2.0" and learned that one of my strengths is affectionately called, "woo" which stands for "winning-others-over". I thrive in situations where I walk into a room and don't know anyone. It gives me the inspiration to meet new people and find what we have in common in order to bond. I love small talk/big talk (politics/world/religion/food/drink/weather) so the conversation carries on for the night, but after that I may or may not keep in touch as there are always new people to meet and new bonds to make in a room full of people. That the weak part of the strength. I need a partner to follow through the connection and cement the bond, in order to distract from my ability to seem insincere. But my point is ... Alcohol fuels that ambition to connect. I know mostly everyone in this world experiences that with a drink, but some more than others.
So, fellow indulgers, what kind of people are you when you drink? Social? Aggressive? Lovers? Fighters?