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2024.05.16 15:11 divorce__throwawa Need guidance on divorce papers, Arizona
Hello,
I'm gonna keep this breif, but still detailed in hopes of getting a response.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this.
Arizona, no minor children, not a covenant marriage. Recently began the divorce process because my wife started cheating on me due to struggles in the relationship and giving up on making it work.
I want to solve this without drama and we have an amicable understanding of how property is being divided.
For the documents that I am filling out, do I need to list all the community/separate property and debt or can I state that none was acquired since we already have understood terms of how to divide things?
In truth, it is me being lazy and not wanting to fish out all the information about each thing we are splitting as it seems like an overwhelming amount and I cannot financially afford help. Plus, my wife is not being very communicative during this process as she is trying to forget me and move on with her new relationship already.
So can I just list that nothing was acquired and just move on with the filing and getting the divorce over with? Or is this going to hurt me in the finalization of the divorce? Just looking for some advice on the matter.
Once again, I appreciate any help that is given.
submitted by divorce__throwawa to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I'm gonna keep this breif, but still detailed in hopes of getting a response.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this.
Arizona, no minor children, not a covenant marriage. Recently began the divorce process because my wife started cheating on me due to struggles in the relationship and giving up on making it work.
I want to solve this without drama and we have an amicable understanding of how property is being divided.
For the documents that I am filling out, do I need to list all the community/separate property and debt or can I state that none was acquired since we already have understood terms of how to divide things?
In truth, it is me being lazy and not wanting to fish out all the information about each thing we are splitting as it seems like an overwhelming amount and I cannot financially afford help. Plus, my wife is not being very communicative during this process as she is trying to forget me and move on with her new relationship already.
So can I just list that nothing was acquired and just move on with the filing and getting the divorce over with? Or is this going to hurt me in the finalization of the divorce? Just looking for some advice on the matter.
Once again, I appreciate any help that is given.
2024.05.16 15:06 sk716theFirst Updated Case Long Timeline
Updated with autopsy results.
Morphew Case Map - Google My Maps - Barry's iPhone Data - Google My Maps - Barry's Truck Events - Google My Maps
August 5, 1994 – Suzanne Moorman marries Barry Morphew The Alexandria Times-Tribune Alexandria, Indiana 05 Jan 1994, Wed • Page 4
December 1999 – Barry and Suzanne Purchase 26040 Cal Carson Rd, Arcadia, IN This is the house where he dug a hole in the yard and buried everything he didn't want to move to Colorado. (AA ft 55 page 53)
November 2013 – Suzanne Inherits $208,000 upon the Passing of her Mother. MB provided documents that Suzanne inherited approximately $208,000 in 2013 at the passing of her mother.
August 2016 – Suzanne inherits $217,000 upon the death of a grandmother. Suzanne’s grievance list included multiple references to Barry controlling the finances.
April 12, 2018 – The Morphew’s Purchase 19057 Puma Path Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchase 19057 Puma Path for $1,575,000.
June 1, 2018 – The Morphews move to Colorado. (PH – Harris) SA Harris: Yeah, they moved in 2018. I believe they left around June 1st, 2018. to move to Colorado. So roughly a year and a half of the time is what Sheila originally said in that.
September 2018 – Suzanne sends “Howdy stranger” message to JL First contact since high school.
Fall 2018 – Libler’s daughter sees messages from Suzanne on his phone. Libler breaks it off.
Thanksgiving 2018 – Barry obsessive/possessive. While Suzanne was at the Oliver’s house, she had stepped away from her cell phone to use the restroom, and Barry tried calling her several times within a few minutes, then tried calling Sheila, then tried calling Darin.
Holidays 2018 – Suzanne finds Libler’s LinkedIn Page. Relationship Rekindled
January 2019 – The Mexico trip where Barry took Suzanne’s phone Mexico trip mentioned in the grievances list where Barry took Suzanne's phone.
February 11 – 14, 2019 – Suzanne in New Orleans with Libler Barry admitted to questioning Suzanne about the New Orleans trip, further evidence he suspected the affair.
April 2019 – Suzanne meets up with Libler in Indiana She does not see SO on this trip.
July 2019 – Suzanne and Libler meet up in Michigan Barry called SO while Suzanne was in MI visiting her fatheJL, wanting to know why Suzanne wasn't returning his calls.
September 2019 – Barry stalks Suzanne and Shelia Oliver, creeping through woods. Barry stalked Suzanne and Sheila at the Puma Path house in September 2019. This is upon his early return from a trip to Arizona.
October 2019 – Libler and Suzanne in Dallas Suzanne and Libler spend two nights at the Galleria.
September – November 2019 – Barry aggressively pursues KW around Salida. From the first time KW met Barry, she said it felt like "he was putting his tentacles out."
Holidays 2019 – Suzanne and Libler stop talking on the phone because she is afraid Barry will find out. They shift to more covert ways to communicate. Barry's second device makes its first appearance.
January/February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, gets spy pen, sees Libler Suzanne in Florida, SO gives her the spy pen during this trip. Suzanne records a conversation with Libler on this trip.
Late February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, sees father and Libler. Suzanne skips out on time with her father to see Libler. Barry goes to Florida.
March 2020 – Spy pen records argument between Suzanne and Barry. “It’s money. It’s about money.” “… I have lived for years being told how I should feel, how I should act, how I should look, what I should drink, what I shouldn’t drink, what I should put in my body, what I shouldn’t put in my body … ”
March 20, 2020 – Jekyll and Hyde text exchange between Suzanne and SO, MM2 suggests restraining order. "It’s Jekyl and Hyde again … Pretty much told him I can’t be healthy and stay in this."
March 22, 2020 – Spy pen records Barry listening to Forensic Files episodes, call with Suzanne on drive to Pueblo Coincidentally one of the episodes involved a woman "disappearing" after a bike ride.
April 21, 2020 – Messages between Suzanne and Libler “I want to be with you,” “I can only be me with you,” I love you,” “I need you.” “You know I was born to love you.”
May 4, 2020 16:05 – Barry makes 3 second outgoing call to Suzanne This was the first logged call in Barry’s phone to or from Suzanne since February 7, 2020.
May 5, 2020 – Suzanne drives MM2 to Gunnison Suzanne drives Macy to Gunnison, CO to meet MM1 for a road/camping trip through Utah and Idaho with MM1's best friend.
May 6, 08:44 – Suzanne sends MM2 a text “Good morning! I miss you already!”
May 6, 10:13 – Suzanne: “I’m done. I could care less what you’re up to and have been for years.” From 14:43 to 17:00 Barry replied, “When I’m dead,” “Going to see my savior,” and “This life on earth is a mear (sic) grain of sand compared to eternity.”
May 6, 2020 – 14:43 – From Barry to Suzanne: “I’m sorry if things went the way they did. I have a problem dealing with the way you accused me of hiding checks. If you think I’m as terrible of a person to hide our accounts and have ones you don’t know about you don’t know me. All I do is for you and the girls. All. When I'm dead, which won't be long, you guys will be taken care of. Please stop being angry. If I can control my hurt heart I think I can overcome your distant unlovingness toward me. Honey, I swear it's the hardest thing I've had to do. I love you I always will.”
May 6, 2020 – 15:51 – Barry to Suzanne: “I promise you were wrong about all the crazy thoughts about me. I have always been faithful. Always. Why would I ever want another when I'm married to the most beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, woman as you? Only a fool would stray from an angel like you.”
May 07, 2020 – Suzanne messages Libler about how magical past days had been. Barry wants a new truck. 16:43 - “Been studying all afternoon. I’m gonna bike now. I’ve got veggie soup on for supper.”
May 7, 2020 – SB puts new tires on Suzanne’s bike Bike mechanic was interviewed by law enforcement.
May 7, 17:13:52 – Barry Works Out at GD’s House Truck log files place Barry at GD's home at 5:13 pm.
May 7, 2020 23:00 – “I finally got the job” text from MM1 goes unanswered. Q (Lindsey): Anything on May 6th that didn’t seem normal? Was there a text from Mallory to Mr. Morphew? A (Grusing): I believe that’s the night of May 7th. Mallory, Macy, and their friend Holly are out on a trip towards Utah and Mallory is sending pictures to both Suzanne and Barry but I was ... Read more
May 08, 07:03 – The Grievance List: Suzanne’s phone backs up a list of 50 reasons why she wanted to leave marriage on “Notes” Not safe alone with you. Can’t be trusted - Oppressive - Slam on brakes when angry - Threaten to jump out of car - Gun ...
May 08, 08:43 – “I will continue to do your invoicing when you need to.” "When FBI Agents showed Barry these texts during interviews in 2021, he said he did not think Suzanne was serious."
May 08, 09:28 – Suzanne texts sister about Barry’s abuse. “It’s hard dealing with the harsh abrasiveness and having to show respect. He’s also been abusive, emotionally and physically. There’s so much … I went thru a period of acceptance and I feel more angry now. Anger at what I’ve allowed.”
May 08, 10:55 Barry: “I Love You, Suzanne.” “But, in the afternoon, it (the text fight) was like it never happened. She texted me back and it was just like, ‘Hey, what time are you coming home? Hey, this or that. Just pick this up or pick that up.'”
May 08, 13:18 – Barry texts Salida Stove and Spa about getting the hot tub fixed. "Asking when he could come out to the home."
May 08, 15:43 – Barry’s iPhone receives an SMS message associated with the unknown device This second device was first used on November 30,2019 and was associated with Barry’s iPhone 91 times since then, compared to 1,701 associations with the primary User ID since November 2019.
May 8, 19:06 – Moonlight Pizza and Phone Calls Barry convinces Suzanne to meet him at the Tailwinds site before going to pick up Moonlight Pizza together.
May 08, 21:04 – 20 Facebook friend requests, 3 men named “Jeff.” Barry’s lurking at the River. Barry was asked about his phone pinging down by the river during the Facebook posts on Friday night and asked if he was outside. Barry said, “I could have been. I don’t remember. I chase critters around the house all the time.”
May 09, 00:02 – Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 02:07 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) 02:07 am outgoing call on SM’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:00 – Barry’s phone received call (PH CAST) 06:00 am BM’s phone received call (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:46 – Barry’s phone registered “Power On” Comes out of Airplane mode.
May 09, 07:19 – Barry’s cell received signal (PH) Barry’s cell received signal (PH)
May 09, 07:22 – 07:39 – Barry at “Tailwinds” worksite Barry’s phone registered locations at his “Tailwinds” work site near Poncha Springs.
May 09, 07:35 – Suzanne texting SO Discussing Sheila's daughters wedding on Sunday.
May 09, 08:00 – MG was with Barry working on the rock beach site until 10am(?). Gentile: “He said that he had to go make the wife happy – do some hiking or biking.”
May 9 – Morning – Suzanne messaging Jeff “He’s still wanting Arizona.”
May 09, 09:50 – Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike? *Text Exchange\* Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike?
May 9, 2020 – 11:14 – Suzanne received a second password reset message from Facebook Previous reset was while Barry was down by the river on the evening of the 8th.
May 09, 11:15 est. – Barry tells Morgan Gentile he could “bury a body” and it “would never be found.” Gentile: “He seemed stressed. He definitely seemed weird on Saturday.”
May 09, 11:55 – Dead Turkey Hunt or Barry Takes Down His Trail Cameras Barry said he was looking for a turkey that Mallory had shot previously with a bow, but they had never found.
May 09, 13:35 – Barry leaves home again. Checked on job at Kim Gyms
May 9, 13:40(?) – Suzanne texts Libler Guess who is alone again?
May 09, 13:46 – Barry and the backhoe After texting, Barry drove by TK's house to see the backhoe, but did not get back in touch to buy it. In 2018, Barry used a backhoe to dig a large hole in his front yard, fill it with items to include furniture, and cover it over, planting alfalfa on top.
May 09, 13:51 – 14:13 – Barry at DSI, replacing Bobcat blade He was wearing a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
May 09, 14:03 – Suzanne sends sunbathing pic to Libler, last proof of life. “Well, look at her. She’s obviously drunk. Look at her eyes. Do you know what drunk eyes look like?
May 09, 14:11 – Suzanne sends last LinkedIn message to Libler: “I’m on wa.” Libler sent response messages at 2:39PM, 2:46PM and 2:47PM that Suzanne did not answer.
May 09, 14:26 – Barry texts Suzanne, “Done headed back.” He texted Suzanne that he was done and was headed home.
May 09, 14:31 – Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.” At 2:31 PM, Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.”
May 09, 14:39 – Libler messages Suzanne, she does not respond. First unread. Messages from LinkedIn show they were talking about how Suzanne is in love with Jeff before she went missing.
May 09, 14:43 – Barry’s phone and F-350, per telematics, arrive at the Morphew residence. "The photo is shown in the courtroom, Suzanne smiling. Truck GPS coordinates show Barry’s truck goes into park at 2:43:59. Phone coordinates show he walks around the house. You can hear a pin drop in the courtroom as tension is high." - Carol McKinley, PH Tweet
May 09, 14:44 – Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. (See: https://www.reddit.com/SuzanneMorphew/comments/17lfboz/barry_and_the_chipmunks_aa_excerpts/ )
May 09, 14:46 – Libler messages: “Hey … your weather looks great” Second unread. No response from Suzanne.
May 09, 14:47 – Jeff sends another messages to Suzanne with no response. Third unread. Jeff sends last message if the day to Suzanne with no response.
May 09, 16:00 – 17:30 – Defense says Barry was at Salida Stove and Spa Salida Stove and Spa's posted hours have the store closing at 2pm on Saturday. Telematics show Barry's truck in his garage during the time he was supposedly at Salida Stove and Spa.
May 09, 16:44 – Barry parks his truck in the garage. Barry claims to have been loading his truck and cleaning off his workbench. (See: https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?hl=en&mid=1FSqlFRrywR8FkytAYkNM-bdSxvKVK5MP&ll=39.173623131314%2C-105.63244&z=8)
May 09, 17:33 – Barry’s truck system manually rebooted Barry attempted to disable the trucks GPS and SYNC features.
May 09, 18:40, 18:46 – SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened
May 09, 21:25 – Barry’s truck goes into reverse, backs 96.8 feet down driveway Barry backs 96 feet out of the garage.
May 09, 22:17 – Barry’s Phone Exits out of Airplane Mode Barry's phone comes out of airplane mode at the Morphew residence.
May 10, 02:53 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone Possible glitch.
May 10, 03:25 – 03:48 – Barry’s truck door opened and closed "SA Hoyland noted over eighty events involving the F350 during this timeframe."
May 10, 03:58 – Barry’s phone moves from home to near where Suzanne’s bike found 3:58 am BM cell moves from home to near 225/50 where bike found Carol McKinley PH Tweets (read from bottom tweet up): 431 am 5/10 Barry’s phone goes back into airplane mode at the his home. 5:37 am – morphew turns into buena vista & heads towards broomfield. 538 he texts his mom “happy ... Read more
May 10, 04:10 – 04:23 – Last Activity from Suzanne’s iPhone Sergeant Mullenax asked dispatch to ping the number given for Suzanne’s cell phone. Dispatch informed Mullenax that the cell phone appeared to be off and last known activity was at 4:23AM on the present date, with a general location about 11.5 miles west of a cell tower in Poncha Springs, CO.
May 10, 04:32 – Barry’s Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode Barry's Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode
May 10, 04:32 – 05:14 – Chasing Elk, or Staging Evidence? Barry's trip to Garfield adds an approximate five miles each way to his morning trip, and places Barry and his vehicle in the direction the helmet was discarded - west from the bicycle.
May 10, 05:00 – Morgan Gentile Hears Barry’s Truck on Hwy 50 Gentile stated she did not see the truck but that his truck has a very distinctive exhaust.
May 10, 05:14 – 06:56 – Barry on the road to Broomfield. Barry phone exits airplane mode while heading towards Buena Vista, CO.
May 10, 08:10 – Trash Dump #1 – RTD Bus Stop Hwy 36 Agent Grusing: "Yes. He would have time -- with the passenger door opening and closing -- like it would say passenger door opened at 8:10:36 am and then passenger door closed at 8:12:13 am. So it took about a minute and a half and that trash can is only 10 to 15 steps away from where the truck was parked."
May 10, 08:14 – 08:20 Holiday Inn Express, Broomfield. Trash Dump #2 Grusing: "He said he parked there because he hoped someone would come out and he could go in the hotel before checking in and get a free breakfast." (Note: It was mid-COVID lockdown, building capacities were down to single digits.)
May 10, 08:41 – 08:46 – “I made it to Broomfield call me when you get a chance” Barry texts Suzanne.
May 10, 08:46 – Barry carries items into the Holiday Inn Express “If there’s clothes in my truck, there was probably old clothes I threw away.”
May 10, 10:06 – Barry exits hotel room. He's carrying a charcoal long-sleeved shirt, two white bags, and a pair of boots.
May 10, 10:20 – 10:41 – McDonald’s – Trash Dump #3 SA Grusing said Barry had a small item in his hand and used one arm to push it down, then both to push it further down as Barry was shown the photos.
May 10, 10:47 – 11:18 – Men’s Wearhouse Trash Dump #4 Barry was told he was there for about 40 minutes and asked if he remembered what he was doing there. Barry said, “I think I was still cleaning my truck, umm, yeah, yeah I mean, like I said, I just uh, I would, I was probably getting crap out of my truck like I said, which I’ve done my whole entire life.”
May 10, 11:18 – Barry calls MG "Barry called he was out of breathe (sic) panting but fatigue, kind a like hungover but he doesn’t drink, honestly when I hung up I thought to myself he sounded like he had the worst night of his life.” - MG
May 10, 11:23 – 11:36 – Barry back at the HIE Barry carries in disorganized papers in a binder. Carries out an organized binder.
May 10, 11:57 – 12:25 – Barry at the worksite Barry spent 28 minutes removing a few blocks from the wall.
May 10, 12:28 – 12:41 – HIE Trash Dump #5 A camera recorded Barry throwing away: a small item, one white trash bag, larger in size than the previous bags in one hand, a black container, along with a piece of clothing, possibly a camouflage coat.
May 10, 12:42 – 18:03 – Barry remains in his HIE room. ”At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne 'Call me'"
May 10, 2020 (Time Unknown) – Libler wishes Suzanne a Happy Mother’s Day Commented that it would be a hard day because she missed her own mother.
May 10, 2020 – 15:30 – Barry texts Suzanne from his hotel room. At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne “Call me”
May 10, 15:50 – 17:45 – Suzanne is discovered “missing” “I’m just so sad and REDCATED and I texted mom for Mother’s Day and she still hasn’t answered and I’m scared her and dad probably got in a big fight and I don’t even know it just made me want to be gone even more because I don’t want to be around them it hurts me and I know if REDACTED is working I might have to be home a lot more and it’ll probably be the worst summer of my life.”- MM2 text.
May 10, 17:55 – 19:10 – Barry leaving Broomfield 6:10 pm - Barry entered the lobby carrying two shovels and placed them beside the front desk. He made subsequent trips, placing more tools in the same spot.
May 10, 19:31 – Chaffee County finds the bike “Something is up with the front tire,” Deputy Brown
May 10, 20:42 – Barry arrives at CR 255 & US 50 "Barry is heard asking if deputies saw any “cats” on the road and a deputy says not recently."
May 10, 21:37 – CCSO Commander Avila brings Barry into the house for scent items. Barry does not call out or look for his wife in the home.
May 10, After 21:47 – Barefoot prints in the Bobcat Bucket Deputy Brown was walking in the driveway when Deputy Defurio told him that there were barefoot marks inside of the bucket on the Bobcat. Deputy Brown went with him to examine and found that the cutting blade on the bucket of the Bobcat appeared to be newly replaced, along with the nuts and bolts.
May 10, 22:00 – MG and JP smell chlorine and have the wrong tools in Broomfield. “It looked like Barry had removed top caps that was it. We also did not have the tools we need like a packer or gravel.”
May 11, 2020 – First Interviews, Puma Path Searched "On May 11, 2020, at about 7:00AM, Barry called Morgan and said that Suzanne was missing and he thought a mountain lion may have attacked her. Morgan explained that Barry was initially crying but then abruptly shifted to the specifics about the Broomfield job."
May 11, 2020 – 14:47 – Libler sends last message to Suzanne. Wishing her well for her scheduled final cancer treatment that day.
May 12, 2020 – 20:00 – Barry found digging in the trash at Poncha Market “He went to write down a description of maybe what she was wearing,” Butala said. “I just thought it was weird because he didn’t explain what the color of her eyes were or her hair or anything about her, like how tall she was or anything.”
May 13, 2020 – Deputy Carricato took photos of scratches on Barry’s left arm and hands. These injuries appeared to be healing, several days old scratches.
May 13, 2020 – Fundraiser created $33,552 raised
May 17, 2020 – 11:13 – Barry’s “plea” video is released on Facebook. “Oh Suzanne, if anyone is out there and can hear this, that has you, please, we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back. We love you, we miss you, your girls need you. No questions asked, however much they want – I will do whatever it takes to get you back. Honey, I love you, I want you back so bad.”
May 19, 2020 – Interviews, Pneu-Darts, Range Rovers "CCSO Deputy Scott Himschoot was present during the search at 19057 Puma Path, in the laundry room, and was asked to collect a “pneu-dart box, empty,” one plastic hypodermic cover, one Pneu-dart book from safe in garage, one dart from box under bench in garage, among other items. The plastic cover was located by evidence search teams in the dryer, inside of the sheets belonging to REDACTED bed." (At some point we had confirmation of a to-do list Suzanne left including MM1s bedding in hopes that the older girls would spend the night. Cannot remember the source.)
May 20, 2020 – Spy Pen found. "The pen was located in a cloth bin amongst women’s bras. The cloth bin and pen were inside the walk-in closet in the master bedroom, located on the ground level of the residence. Detective Hysjulien located, with the pen, the controller and headphones for playback and a USB cable."
June 1, 2020 – Barry files for guardianship. Within a month of Suzanne’s disappearance, Barry began to liquidate assets.
June 1, 2020 – TD interviews Barry on camera. "So, uh -- we uh --. We had two daughters that were coming home from a trip. And I got a job in Denver that I wanted to get started on on Sunday. Set it up for my work because my rookies are coming in Sunday night. (Unintelligible) Monday but I, being the owner, I wanted to get everything lined up so that (Unintelligible).
June 6, 2020 – Barry closes on IN home. Pockets $750,000
June 25, 2020 – Barry purchases the Longhorn Ranch property for $165,000 Property Address 8366 LONGHORN DR
July 13, 2020 – Barry sells Suzanne’s Range Rover. Leaves Suzanne's sunglasses in the car.
Aug 20, 2020 – Lauren Scharf Interviews Barry “People don’t know the truth, so they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”
October 05, 2020 – Barry lists Puma Path home for sale. Originally listed for $1,759,000.
November 2020 – Barry Commits Voter Fraud Barry filled out Suzanne's ballot and mailed it in.
February 17, 2021 – Barry Sells Longhorn Ranch property for $150,000 A $15,000 loss. Same property sold on 04/21/2021 for $175,000, indicating Barry needed the money fast.
March 3, 2021 – 19057 Puma Path sells for $1,625,000. Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchased the home on April 12, 2018 for $1,575,000.
May 4, 2021 – Warrant Issued for the Arrest of Barry Lee Morphew CRS/CHARGE: 18-3-102 (1), (a) Murder in the First Degree, a class 1 Felony, 18-8-610. Tampering with Physical Evidence, a class 6 felony, 18-8-306, Attempt to Influence a Public Servant, a class 4 Felony.
May 5, 2021 – 09:15 – Barry Lee Morphew Arrested for the murder of Suzanne Renee Moorman Morphew "Morphew was arrested around 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, May 5 near his home in Poncha Springs. FOX31 News has obtained video of the arrest, which shows his truck stopped on the side of the road near several police vehicles. He can be seen standing just off the road with an officer." AA: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21065843-21cr78-morphew-redacted-affidavit
August 9-12, 2021 – Preliminary Hearing. Day One: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wZ86C3zQ6kh9VGOUCJcr0ipCoFeaXkdowmwyaruiIQ/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QKa1jcH2dAqe9Wezew-KbLCDuicrm1HgfwC4oGwM8Dg/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Three got corrupted so it's gone.
People's exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/hgvlBUt Defense exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/VC3ZfUZ
April 19, 2022 - Case against Barry Morphew Dismissed Without Prejudice. Prosecution asked for the case to be dismissed.
May 2, 2023 – Barry files $15,000,000 lawsuit against Chaffee County, et.al. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/barry-morphew-lawsuit/73-3cea50c2-cdae-4338-8de9-9e113d33db6c
May 8, 2023 – Fraud Lawsuit filed against Barry in Indiana. Property dispute. https://denvergazette.com/news/courts/barry-morphew-sued-fraud-allegations-land-dispute/article_1c7cd90e-f4f5-11ed-9778-47c9c303d16d.html
September 22, 2023 – Suzanne's Remains Found Near Moffat in Saguache County While SCSO was searching for another (unrelated) missing woman. https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/suzanne-morphew-remains-found-colorado-missing-mother-barry-chaffee-county-disappearance/
Sept. 27, 2023 – Autopsy Completed. Awaiting Toxicology. https://cbi.colorado.gov/news-article/suzanne-morphew-autopsy-results-cbi-update-0https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/autopsy-complete-remains-missing-colorado-mom-suzanne-morphew/
April 29, 2024 – Toxicology finds BAM in Suzanne's bone marrow. “Homicide by undetermined means in the setting of butorphanol, azaperone, and medetomidine intoxication.” https://www.scribd.com/document/727780041/Suzanne-Morphew-autopsy-results https://www.cpr.org/2024/04/29/suzanne-morphew-died-by-homicide-with-tranquilizer-chemicals-present-in-body-according-to-autopsy-report/
submitted by sk716theFirst to SuzanneMorphew [link] [comments]
Morphew Case Map - Google My Maps - Barry's iPhone Data - Google My Maps - Barry's Truck Events - Google My Maps
August 5, 1994 – Suzanne Moorman marries Barry Morphew The Alexandria Times-Tribune Alexandria, Indiana 05 Jan 1994, Wed • Page 4
December 1999 – Barry and Suzanne Purchase 26040 Cal Carson Rd, Arcadia, IN This is the house where he dug a hole in the yard and buried everything he didn't want to move to Colorado. (AA ft 55 page 53)
November 2013 – Suzanne Inherits $208,000 upon the Passing of her Mother. MB provided documents that Suzanne inherited approximately $208,000 in 2013 at the passing of her mother.
August 2016 – Suzanne inherits $217,000 upon the death of a grandmother. Suzanne’s grievance list included multiple references to Barry controlling the finances.
April 12, 2018 – The Morphew’s Purchase 19057 Puma Path Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchase 19057 Puma Path for $1,575,000.
June 1, 2018 – The Morphews move to Colorado. (PH – Harris) SA Harris: Yeah, they moved in 2018. I believe they left around June 1st, 2018. to move to Colorado. So roughly a year and a half of the time is what Sheila originally said in that.
September 2018 – Suzanne sends “Howdy stranger” message to JL First contact since high school.
Fall 2018 – Libler’s daughter sees messages from Suzanne on his phone. Libler breaks it off.
Thanksgiving 2018 – Barry obsessive/possessive. While Suzanne was at the Oliver’s house, she had stepped away from her cell phone to use the restroom, and Barry tried calling her several times within a few minutes, then tried calling Sheila, then tried calling Darin.
Holidays 2018 – Suzanne finds Libler’s LinkedIn Page. Relationship Rekindled
January 2019 – The Mexico trip where Barry took Suzanne’s phone Mexico trip mentioned in the grievances list where Barry took Suzanne's phone.
February 11 – 14, 2019 – Suzanne in New Orleans with Libler Barry admitted to questioning Suzanne about the New Orleans trip, further evidence he suspected the affair.
April 2019 – Suzanne meets up with Libler in Indiana She does not see SO on this trip.
July 2019 – Suzanne and Libler meet up in Michigan Barry called SO while Suzanne was in MI visiting her fatheJL, wanting to know why Suzanne wasn't returning his calls.
September 2019 – Barry stalks Suzanne and Shelia Oliver, creeping through woods. Barry stalked Suzanne and Sheila at the Puma Path house in September 2019. This is upon his early return from a trip to Arizona.
October 2019 – Libler and Suzanne in Dallas Suzanne and Libler spend two nights at the Galleria.
September – November 2019 – Barry aggressively pursues KW around Salida. From the first time KW met Barry, she said it felt like "he was putting his tentacles out."
Holidays 2019 – Suzanne and Libler stop talking on the phone because she is afraid Barry will find out. They shift to more covert ways to communicate. Barry's second device makes its first appearance.
January/February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, gets spy pen, sees Libler Suzanne in Florida, SO gives her the spy pen during this trip. Suzanne records a conversation with Libler on this trip.
Late February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, sees father and Libler. Suzanne skips out on time with her father to see Libler. Barry goes to Florida.
March 2020 – Spy pen records argument between Suzanne and Barry. “It’s money. It’s about money.” “… I have lived for years being told how I should feel, how I should act, how I should look, what I should drink, what I shouldn’t drink, what I should put in my body, what I shouldn’t put in my body … ”
March 20, 2020 – Jekyll and Hyde text exchange between Suzanne and SO, MM2 suggests restraining order. "It’s Jekyl and Hyde again … Pretty much told him I can’t be healthy and stay in this."
March 22, 2020 – Spy pen records Barry listening to Forensic Files episodes, call with Suzanne on drive to Pueblo Coincidentally one of the episodes involved a woman "disappearing" after a bike ride.
April 21, 2020 – Messages between Suzanne and Libler “I want to be with you,” “I can only be me with you,” I love you,” “I need you.” “You know I was born to love you.”
May 4, 2020 16:05 – Barry makes 3 second outgoing call to Suzanne This was the first logged call in Barry’s phone to or from Suzanne since February 7, 2020.
May 5, 2020 – Suzanne drives MM2 to Gunnison Suzanne drives Macy to Gunnison, CO to meet MM1 for a road/camping trip through Utah and Idaho with MM1's best friend.
May 6, 08:44 – Suzanne sends MM2 a text “Good morning! I miss you already!”
May 6, 10:13 – Suzanne: “I’m done. I could care less what you’re up to and have been for years.” From 14:43 to 17:00 Barry replied, “When I’m dead,” “Going to see my savior,” and “This life on earth is a mear (sic) grain of sand compared to eternity.”
May 6, 2020 – 14:43 – From Barry to Suzanne: “I’m sorry if things went the way they did. I have a problem dealing with the way you accused me of hiding checks. If you think I’m as terrible of a person to hide our accounts and have ones you don’t know about you don’t know me. All I do is for you and the girls. All. When I'm dead, which won't be long, you guys will be taken care of. Please stop being angry. If I can control my hurt heart I think I can overcome your distant unlovingness toward me. Honey, I swear it's the hardest thing I've had to do. I love you I always will.”
May 6, 2020 – 15:51 – Barry to Suzanne: “I promise you were wrong about all the crazy thoughts about me. I have always been faithful. Always. Why would I ever want another when I'm married to the most beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, woman as you? Only a fool would stray from an angel like you.”
May 07, 2020 – Suzanne messages Libler about how magical past days had been. Barry wants a new truck. 16:43 - “Been studying all afternoon. I’m gonna bike now. I’ve got veggie soup on for supper.”
May 7, 2020 – SB puts new tires on Suzanne’s bike Bike mechanic was interviewed by law enforcement.
May 7, 17:13:52 – Barry Works Out at GD’s House Truck log files place Barry at GD's home at 5:13 pm.
May 7, 2020 23:00 – “I finally got the job” text from MM1 goes unanswered. Q (Lindsey): Anything on May 6th that didn’t seem normal? Was there a text from Mallory to Mr. Morphew? A (Grusing): I believe that’s the night of May 7th. Mallory, Macy, and their friend Holly are out on a trip towards Utah and Mallory is sending pictures to both Suzanne and Barry but I was ... Read more
May 08, 07:03 – The Grievance List: Suzanne’s phone backs up a list of 50 reasons why she wanted to leave marriage on “Notes” Not safe alone with you. Can’t be trusted - Oppressive - Slam on brakes when angry - Threaten to jump out of car - Gun ...
May 08, 08:43 – “I will continue to do your invoicing when you need to.” "When FBI Agents showed Barry these texts during interviews in 2021, he said he did not think Suzanne was serious."
May 08, 09:28 – Suzanne texts sister about Barry’s abuse. “It’s hard dealing with the harsh abrasiveness and having to show respect. He’s also been abusive, emotionally and physically. There’s so much … I went thru a period of acceptance and I feel more angry now. Anger at what I’ve allowed.”
May 08, 10:55 Barry: “I Love You, Suzanne.” “But, in the afternoon, it (the text fight) was like it never happened. She texted me back and it was just like, ‘Hey, what time are you coming home? Hey, this or that. Just pick this up or pick that up.'”
May 08, 13:18 – Barry texts Salida Stove and Spa about getting the hot tub fixed. "Asking when he could come out to the home."
May 08, 15:43 – Barry’s iPhone receives an SMS message associated with the unknown device This second device was first used on November 30,2019 and was associated with Barry’s iPhone 91 times since then, compared to 1,701 associations with the primary User ID since November 2019.
May 8, 19:06 – Moonlight Pizza and Phone Calls Barry convinces Suzanne to meet him at the Tailwinds site before going to pick up Moonlight Pizza together.
May 08, 21:04 – 20 Facebook friend requests, 3 men named “Jeff.” Barry’s lurking at the River. Barry was asked about his phone pinging down by the river during the Facebook posts on Friday night and asked if he was outside. Barry said, “I could have been. I don’t remember. I chase critters around the house all the time.”
May 09, 00:02 – Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 02:07 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) 02:07 am outgoing call on SM’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:00 – Barry’s phone received call (PH CAST) 06:00 am BM’s phone received call (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:46 – Barry’s phone registered “Power On” Comes out of Airplane mode.
May 09, 07:19 – Barry’s cell received signal (PH) Barry’s cell received signal (PH)
May 09, 07:22 – 07:39 – Barry at “Tailwinds” worksite Barry’s phone registered locations at his “Tailwinds” work site near Poncha Springs.
May 09, 07:35 – Suzanne texting SO Discussing Sheila's daughters wedding on Sunday.
May 09, 08:00 – MG was with Barry working on the rock beach site until 10am(?). Gentile: “He said that he had to go make the wife happy – do some hiking or biking.”
May 9 – Morning – Suzanne messaging Jeff “He’s still wanting Arizona.”
May 09, 09:50 – Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike? *Text Exchange\* Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike?
May 9, 2020 – 11:14 – Suzanne received a second password reset message from Facebook Previous reset was while Barry was down by the river on the evening of the 8th.
May 09, 11:15 est. – Barry tells Morgan Gentile he could “bury a body” and it “would never be found.” Gentile: “He seemed stressed. He definitely seemed weird on Saturday.”
May 09, 11:55 – Dead Turkey Hunt or Barry Takes Down His Trail Cameras Barry said he was looking for a turkey that Mallory had shot previously with a bow, but they had never found.
May 09, 13:35 – Barry leaves home again. Checked on job at Kim Gyms
May 9, 13:40(?) – Suzanne texts Libler Guess who is alone again?
May 09, 13:46 – Barry and the backhoe After texting, Barry drove by TK's house to see the backhoe, but did not get back in touch to buy it. In 2018, Barry used a backhoe to dig a large hole in his front yard, fill it with items to include furniture, and cover it over, planting alfalfa on top.
May 09, 13:51 – 14:13 – Barry at DSI, replacing Bobcat blade He was wearing a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
May 09, 14:03 – Suzanne sends sunbathing pic to Libler, last proof of life. “Well, look at her. She’s obviously drunk. Look at her eyes. Do you know what drunk eyes look like?
May 09, 14:11 – Suzanne sends last LinkedIn message to Libler: “I’m on wa.” Libler sent response messages at 2:39PM, 2:46PM and 2:47PM that Suzanne did not answer.
May 09, 14:26 – Barry texts Suzanne, “Done headed back.” He texted Suzanne that he was done and was headed home.
May 09, 14:31 – Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.” At 2:31 PM, Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.”
May 09, 14:39 – Libler messages Suzanne, she does not respond. First unread. Messages from LinkedIn show they were talking about how Suzanne is in love with Jeff before she went missing.
May 09, 14:43 – Barry’s phone and F-350, per telematics, arrive at the Morphew residence. "The photo is shown in the courtroom, Suzanne smiling. Truck GPS coordinates show Barry’s truck goes into park at 2:43:59. Phone coordinates show he walks around the house. You can hear a pin drop in the courtroom as tension is high." - Carol McKinley, PH Tweet
May 09, 14:44 – Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. (See: https://www.reddit.com/SuzanneMorphew/comments/17lfboz/barry_and_the_chipmunks_aa_excerpts/ )
May 09, 14:46 – Libler messages: “Hey … your weather looks great” Second unread. No response from Suzanne.
May 09, 14:47 – Jeff sends another messages to Suzanne with no response. Third unread. Jeff sends last message if the day to Suzanne with no response.
May 09, 16:00 – 17:30 – Defense says Barry was at Salida Stove and Spa Salida Stove and Spa's posted hours have the store closing at 2pm on Saturday. Telematics show Barry's truck in his garage during the time he was supposedly at Salida Stove and Spa.
May 09, 16:44 – Barry parks his truck in the garage. Barry claims to have been loading his truck and cleaning off his workbench. (See: https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?hl=en&mid=1FSqlFRrywR8FkytAYkNM-bdSxvKVK5MP&ll=39.173623131314%2C-105.63244&z=8)
May 09, 17:33 – Barry’s truck system manually rebooted Barry attempted to disable the trucks GPS and SYNC features.
May 09, 18:40, 18:46 – SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened
May 09, 21:25 – Barry’s truck goes into reverse, backs 96.8 feet down driveway Barry backs 96 feet out of the garage.
May 09, 22:17 – Barry’s Phone Exits out of Airplane Mode Barry's phone comes out of airplane mode at the Morphew residence.
May 10, 02:53 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone Possible glitch.
May 10, 03:25 – 03:48 – Barry’s truck door opened and closed "SA Hoyland noted over eighty events involving the F350 during this timeframe."
May 10, 03:58 – Barry’s phone moves from home to near where Suzanne’s bike found 3:58 am BM cell moves from home to near 225/50 where bike found Carol McKinley PH Tweets (read from bottom tweet up): 431 am 5/10 Barry’s phone goes back into airplane mode at the his home. 5:37 am – morphew turns into buena vista & heads towards broomfield. 538 he texts his mom “happy ... Read more
May 10, 04:10 – 04:23 – Last Activity from Suzanne’s iPhone Sergeant Mullenax asked dispatch to ping the number given for Suzanne’s cell phone. Dispatch informed Mullenax that the cell phone appeared to be off and last known activity was at 4:23AM on the present date, with a general location about 11.5 miles west of a cell tower in Poncha Springs, CO.
May 10, 04:32 – Barry’s Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode Barry's Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode
May 10, 04:32 – 05:14 – Chasing Elk, or Staging Evidence? Barry's trip to Garfield adds an approximate five miles each way to his morning trip, and places Barry and his vehicle in the direction the helmet was discarded - west from the bicycle.
May 10, 05:00 – Morgan Gentile Hears Barry’s Truck on Hwy 50 Gentile stated she did not see the truck but that his truck has a very distinctive exhaust.
May 10, 05:14 – 06:56 – Barry on the road to Broomfield. Barry phone exits airplane mode while heading towards Buena Vista, CO.
May 10, 08:10 – Trash Dump #1 – RTD Bus Stop Hwy 36 Agent Grusing: "Yes. He would have time -- with the passenger door opening and closing -- like it would say passenger door opened at 8:10:36 am and then passenger door closed at 8:12:13 am. So it took about a minute and a half and that trash can is only 10 to 15 steps away from where the truck was parked."
May 10, 08:14 – 08:20 Holiday Inn Express, Broomfield. Trash Dump #2 Grusing: "He said he parked there because he hoped someone would come out and he could go in the hotel before checking in and get a free breakfast." (Note: It was mid-COVID lockdown, building capacities were down to single digits.)
May 10, 08:41 – 08:46 – “I made it to Broomfield call me when you get a chance” Barry texts Suzanne.
May 10, 08:46 – Barry carries items into the Holiday Inn Express “If there’s clothes in my truck, there was probably old clothes I threw away.”
May 10, 10:06 – Barry exits hotel room. He's carrying a charcoal long-sleeved shirt, two white bags, and a pair of boots.
May 10, 10:20 – 10:41 – McDonald’s – Trash Dump #3 SA Grusing said Barry had a small item in his hand and used one arm to push it down, then both to push it further down as Barry was shown the photos.
May 10, 10:47 – 11:18 – Men’s Wearhouse Trash Dump #4 Barry was told he was there for about 40 minutes and asked if he remembered what he was doing there. Barry said, “I think I was still cleaning my truck, umm, yeah, yeah I mean, like I said, I just uh, I would, I was probably getting crap out of my truck like I said, which I’ve done my whole entire life.”
May 10, 11:18 – Barry calls MG "Barry called he was out of breathe (sic) panting but fatigue, kind a like hungover but he doesn’t drink, honestly when I hung up I thought to myself he sounded like he had the worst night of his life.” - MG
May 10, 11:23 – 11:36 – Barry back at the HIE Barry carries in disorganized papers in a binder. Carries out an organized binder.
May 10, 11:57 – 12:25 – Barry at the worksite Barry spent 28 minutes removing a few blocks from the wall.
May 10, 12:28 – 12:41 – HIE Trash Dump #5 A camera recorded Barry throwing away: a small item, one white trash bag, larger in size than the previous bags in one hand, a black container, along with a piece of clothing, possibly a camouflage coat.
May 10, 12:42 – 18:03 – Barry remains in his HIE room. ”At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne 'Call me'"
May 10, 2020 (Time Unknown) – Libler wishes Suzanne a Happy Mother’s Day Commented that it would be a hard day because she missed her own mother.
May 10, 2020 – 15:30 – Barry texts Suzanne from his hotel room. At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne “Call me”
May 10, 15:50 – 17:45 – Suzanne is discovered “missing” “I’m just so sad and REDCATED and I texted mom for Mother’s Day and she still hasn’t answered and I’m scared her and dad probably got in a big fight and I don’t even know it just made me want to be gone even more because I don’t want to be around them it hurts me and I know if REDACTED is working I might have to be home a lot more and it’ll probably be the worst summer of my life.”- MM2 text.
May 10, 17:55 – 19:10 – Barry leaving Broomfield 6:10 pm - Barry entered the lobby carrying two shovels and placed them beside the front desk. He made subsequent trips, placing more tools in the same spot.
May 10, 19:31 – Chaffee County finds the bike “Something is up with the front tire,” Deputy Brown
May 10, 20:42 – Barry arrives at CR 255 & US 50 "Barry is heard asking if deputies saw any “cats” on the road and a deputy says not recently."
May 10, 21:37 – CCSO Commander Avila brings Barry into the house for scent items. Barry does not call out or look for his wife in the home.
May 10, After 21:47 – Barefoot prints in the Bobcat Bucket Deputy Brown was walking in the driveway when Deputy Defurio told him that there were barefoot marks inside of the bucket on the Bobcat. Deputy Brown went with him to examine and found that the cutting blade on the bucket of the Bobcat appeared to be newly replaced, along with the nuts and bolts.
May 10, 22:00 – MG and JP smell chlorine and have the wrong tools in Broomfield. “It looked like Barry had removed top caps that was it. We also did not have the tools we need like a packer or gravel.”
May 11, 2020 – First Interviews, Puma Path Searched "On May 11, 2020, at about 7:00AM, Barry called Morgan and said that Suzanne was missing and he thought a mountain lion may have attacked her. Morgan explained that Barry was initially crying but then abruptly shifted to the specifics about the Broomfield job."
May 11, 2020 – 14:47 – Libler sends last message to Suzanne. Wishing her well for her scheduled final cancer treatment that day.
May 12, 2020 – 20:00 – Barry found digging in the trash at Poncha Market “He went to write down a description of maybe what she was wearing,” Butala said. “I just thought it was weird because he didn’t explain what the color of her eyes were or her hair or anything about her, like how tall she was or anything.”
May 13, 2020 – Deputy Carricato took photos of scratches on Barry’s left arm and hands. These injuries appeared to be healing, several days old scratches.
May 13, 2020 – Fundraiser created $33,552 raised
May 17, 2020 – 11:13 – Barry’s “plea” video is released on Facebook. “Oh Suzanne, if anyone is out there and can hear this, that has you, please, we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back. We love you, we miss you, your girls need you. No questions asked, however much they want – I will do whatever it takes to get you back. Honey, I love you, I want you back so bad.”
May 19, 2020 – Interviews, Pneu-Darts, Range Rovers "CCSO Deputy Scott Himschoot was present during the search at 19057 Puma Path, in the laundry room, and was asked to collect a “pneu-dart box, empty,” one plastic hypodermic cover, one Pneu-dart book from safe in garage, one dart from box under bench in garage, among other items. The plastic cover was located by evidence search teams in the dryer, inside of the sheets belonging to REDACTED bed." (At some point we had confirmation of a to-do list Suzanne left including MM1s bedding in hopes that the older girls would spend the night. Cannot remember the source.)
May 20, 2020 – Spy Pen found. "The pen was located in a cloth bin amongst women’s bras. The cloth bin and pen were inside the walk-in closet in the master bedroom, located on the ground level of the residence. Detective Hysjulien located, with the pen, the controller and headphones for playback and a USB cable."
June 1, 2020 – Barry files for guardianship. Within a month of Suzanne’s disappearance, Barry began to liquidate assets.
June 1, 2020 – TD interviews Barry on camera. "So, uh -- we uh --. We had two daughters that were coming home from a trip. And I got a job in Denver that I wanted to get started on on Sunday. Set it up for my work because my rookies are coming in Sunday night. (Unintelligible) Monday but I, being the owner, I wanted to get everything lined up so that (Unintelligible).
June 6, 2020 – Barry closes on IN home. Pockets $750,000
June 25, 2020 – Barry purchases the Longhorn Ranch property for $165,000 Property Address 8366 LONGHORN DR
July 13, 2020 – Barry sells Suzanne’s Range Rover. Leaves Suzanne's sunglasses in the car.
Aug 20, 2020 – Lauren Scharf Interviews Barry “People don’t know the truth, so they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”
October 05, 2020 – Barry lists Puma Path home for sale. Originally listed for $1,759,000.
November 2020 – Barry Commits Voter Fraud Barry filled out Suzanne's ballot and mailed it in.
February 17, 2021 – Barry Sells Longhorn Ranch property for $150,000 A $15,000 loss. Same property sold on 04/21/2021 for $175,000, indicating Barry needed the money fast.
March 3, 2021 – 19057 Puma Path sells for $1,625,000. Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchased the home on April 12, 2018 for $1,575,000.
May 4, 2021 – Warrant Issued for the Arrest of Barry Lee Morphew CRS/CHARGE: 18-3-102 (1), (a) Murder in the First Degree, a class 1 Felony, 18-8-610. Tampering with Physical Evidence, a class 6 felony, 18-8-306, Attempt to Influence a Public Servant, a class 4 Felony.
May 5, 2021 – 09:15 – Barry Lee Morphew Arrested for the murder of Suzanne Renee Moorman Morphew "Morphew was arrested around 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, May 5 near his home in Poncha Springs. FOX31 News has obtained video of the arrest, which shows his truck stopped on the side of the road near several police vehicles. He can be seen standing just off the road with an officer." AA: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21065843-21cr78-morphew-redacted-affidavit
August 9-12, 2021 – Preliminary Hearing. Day One: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wZ86C3zQ6kh9VGOUCJcr0ipCoFeaXkdowmwyaruiIQ/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QKa1jcH2dAqe9Wezew-KbLCDuicrm1HgfwC4oGwM8Dg/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Three got corrupted so it's gone.
People's exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/hgvlBUt Defense exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/VC3ZfUZ
April 19, 2022 - Case against Barry Morphew Dismissed Without Prejudice. Prosecution asked for the case to be dismissed.
May 2, 2023 – Barry files $15,000,000 lawsuit against Chaffee County, et.al. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/barry-morphew-lawsuit/73-3cea50c2-cdae-4338-8de9-9e113d33db6c
May 8, 2023 – Fraud Lawsuit filed against Barry in Indiana. Property dispute. https://denvergazette.com/news/courts/barry-morphew-sued-fraud-allegations-land-dispute/article_1c7cd90e-f4f5-11ed-9778-47c9c303d16d.html
September 22, 2023 – Suzanne's Remains Found Near Moffat in Saguache County While SCSO was searching for another (unrelated) missing woman. https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/suzanne-morphew-remains-found-colorado-missing-mother-barry-chaffee-county-disappearance/
Sept. 27, 2023 – Autopsy Completed. Awaiting Toxicology. https://cbi.colorado.gov/news-article/suzanne-morphew-autopsy-results-cbi-update-0https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/autopsy-complete-remains-missing-colorado-mom-suzanne-morphew/
April 29, 2024 – Toxicology finds BAM in Suzanne's bone marrow. “Homicide by undetermined means in the setting of butorphanol, azaperone, and medetomidine intoxication.” https://www.scribd.com/document/727780041/Suzanne-Morphew-autopsy-results https://www.cpr.org/2024/04/29/suzanne-morphew-died-by-homicide-with-tranquilizer-chemicals-present-in-body-according-to-autopsy-report/
2024.05.16 14:53 No_Funny3533 Miyuki Miyamoto/ Yomi / Jeong Nahyeon Scam Network Sites JPNDATE CUDATE DATESTEADY SAYHIUP
 | UPDATED INFO throughout it. submitted by No_Funny3533 to Romance_Scamer [link] [comments] They have a new Scam Website: https://www.datesteady.com/ (Reuses JPNDATE assets even) I think she Chinese and Korean. They try to scam me a second time, her friend (I just wanted real love) Yomi/ Miyuki Miyamoto/ Jeong Nahyeon Written Before: There is this dangerous woman (same person) running many fake Chinese Romance scam websites, fake Instagram pages, tik tok, We chats, and many Chinese porn sites. It is the same person, she uses her looks with pictures and videos to steal money from men. She has many names she goes by, probably even more than I found. She also uses bots to get fake likes and weird Anime filters to try to look like an idol. She has scam artist female friends also I found. She the leader. I know a lot of scammers steal from other people's identities but that is not the case here. This is the same person as the scammer. My story will explain it. As well as this person has pictures of the same person you can’t find anywhere else on the Internet. Even if you do a Reverse Face image search. They said information that match to an unbelievable level. The person who Scammed me: Has Many names (Such As) And a talent for speaking many languages
https://www.instagram.com/gracegracemei/ Email: [miyukilovee@outlook.com](mailto:miyukilovee@outlook.com) (Something about BlessCeline Lovee) Skype ID: live:.cid.737fb9ac2ad5655c
(Make Sense) u/mingmei1344 https://www.instagram.com/mingmei1344/ https://www.facebook.com/liuliu.meimingmei (Owner of aiu_agency since 2015) u/aiu_agency https://www.instagram.com/aiu_agency/
Hotel Connected: SHILLA STAY Gwanghwamun Her Scam Artist friends who work for both Ai_U Agency and JPNDATE CUDATE (That I found) Vynnie_nat : https://www.instagram.com/vynnie_nat/#jiejierui_ngc: https://www.instagram.com/jiejierui_ngc/Veravera_zhangg: https://www.instagram.com/veravera_zhangg/Elle_owo_elle : https://www.instagram.com/elle_owo_elle/Qiqi_shenglim : https://www.instagram.com/qiqi_shenglim/Myemye_owo_ : https://www.instagram.com/myemye_owo_/Her Friends that are connected somehow but not sure how yet. They appear everywhere with the fake accountsRiyandiwilliam : https://www.instagram.com/riyandiwilliam/https://preview.redd.it/2d0g7b2las0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f25ee7d014b3ae338612c980a5db88eca5ef6cb5Summary: Jpndate.com is a dangerous Romance scam. All the women are paid actors for the website from China. They will try to get into a relationship with you very fast, don’t fall for it. They are milking you for money like if you're a cow. They will threaten to kill you or your family if you call out their scam. They might also say they will sue you. If you stop paying them, they will text you very little. They will never video call you face-to-face. Jpndate.com has a sister scam website from the same people called sayhiup.com. When you buy something on Jpndate the payment goes to Cudate Limited, so that site must be part of the scam also. There is a company in China doing all type of illegal and immoral practices. Their name is Zhengzhou Zhongzhiqi Technology Co., Ltd. / 郑州市中之祺科技有限公司 . They have their main technology business but they also run a list of many scam websites stealing money from American men, Asian, and European men. Such as Cudate, JPNDate, SayhiUp. These are romance scam sites where all the women work for the company. If you make a female account it will pend forever. Only men get approved. They claimed before to be an American-owned company then I exposed them now they claim to be Dutch. Their servers are all in China. They never filed paperwork with any foreign country. They are none of these the Chinese pretending to run many dating sites when in fact it’s all fake. They claim to be in nations their not. They have fake terms of service. I used PayPal before I didn't know it was a scam. I paid in dollars, but they refused to refund me till I told PayPal. PayPal made them. Then they refused to pay me the total amount they wanted to pay me on yuan when I paid dollars. I report them to FTC. They also try to hack my laptop for tell the government the truth about them. They probably get funds from the Communist Party government. They are very very bad people. Please look into it or forward this message somewhere where it can be looked into. Pretends to be a legit dating site but feel more like a pay-to-use website for fake love. All women here are paid actors for the site. The same few women have multiple profiles pretending to be different people. Funny part is anytime you call out JPNDate bs they change their terms of service. Screenshot everything people. They have a fake page saying their trying to stop scammers, it all bs they are the scammers. Host of JPNDate Servers: As the writing of this post: IP: 47.242.112.134 - Server: nginx GeoIP: HK - AS45102 (ALIBABA-CN-NET Alibaba US Technology Co., Ltd., CN) My Story: (Update): I know it is the same person, They told me in a text message. Do you like Asian women? Real Asian women? These ones are real! I know who they are. Hi! This is Mark Faraday talking to you. This is my story of how a website named JPNDate Idols scammed me out of 4000 American dollars. First, I was on Japan Cupid, a dating site. On Japan Cupid, no one can chat unless one of you has a membership. I bought a 1-week membership. Within 5 minutes to 10 minutes, a woman nicknamed Yomi from Japan messaged me; this should have been a red flag for me. We talked for a while. She said she was interested in me. She asked me if I could move over to the dating site JPNDate because she paid for membership there and not Japan Cupid. She also promised to delete her account on Japan Cupid after we changed sites. She does delete her account off Japan Cupid. Unlike a normal scam artist, who may only have 1 or 2 photos, she has several photos on her profile. My trust in her grows a bit seeing that. She then privately messaged me several more photos of her. She asked me for some photos, which I sent. She then sends back happy and heartfelt emojis. She told me she doesn’t date Asian men anymore because they were violent to her in the past and her last boyfriend cheated on her. She talked about how she didn’t want to fight with me. She also said we could talk about any topic. She would compliment me often, as I did for her. Of course, on my profile page, I try to post my best pictures. Throughout my life, I have had many different hairstyles. She even mentioned this and got very happy and asked if I was a hairstylist. The spam of talking between us was from January 20th, 2024, to March 24th, 2024. On JPNDate, there is an upgrade system. You need Blue Diamond to chat with others. Crown to send videos. Blue Diamond is 20 dollars per month, and Crown is 80 dollars per month. I got the Blue Diamond membership at first. It showed her with it too. After a day or two, she asked me to upgrade like she did to the Crown membership so she could send me a video. I upgraded it, and she did actually send me a video. All pictures and the video match the same person and the same face. Some pictures were in different locations, and some were like three different pictures in the same place. We then later buy a 6-month Crown membership for each other because it is cheaper than 1 month at a time. I bought it for her, and she bought it for me. At this point, I start to believe. This person was giving me all their time. They reply very often, and their texting time was the same as Japan timezones every single day. They spoke not only English but also Japanese almost fluently. However, they did let me know that they're still learning English and sometimes use a translator. She let me know that this website has something called a mall. This should have been red flag number 2. You pay 1 American dollar for each gold point. Paypal is the only thing that works. When we started dating, she said it was normal for couples in Japan to send each other gifts. It was a symbol of forever love in Japan, she claimed. As an American, I didn’t know if this was true. I googled it and couldn’t get a clear answer. She said whatever I bought her, she would buy me as well. She asked if I liked necklaces or charms. I said anything was fine. She wanted me to pick up a necklace. At first, she picked up a $1,000 necklace from the site mall and asked me. I said no; that's way too much money for that. She said how about a 300-dollar Jade Romance charm. She told me to get her white one; she would get me the green one. I questioned if she was legit. She started crying. She somehow convinced me at the time that she was legit again. I did buy it. A few weeks later, I did receive the overpriced Green Jade Romance love charm to my address from her. I never told her which day exactly my tracking information said it would come to my house, but I asked her, and her tracking date was the same week as mine. By the way something almost the same as this necklace is 12 dollars on Amazon. It also broke when I got it in the mail. Probably cost them 2 cent to make. For the next few days, we had a wonderful, happy conversation. It is late January, and I know Valentine's Day is coming. I offered to get her flowers. I got her flowers and chocolate at a very high price of multiple hundred dollars. She then gets so happy. She told me many times how she wanted to go to America and find me. We talked about many topics for several more days. She told me she worked in an office in Tokyo. Yomi told me her real name was Miyuki Miyamoto. Which is very funny because I told her before I was a Nintendo fan, and this is the same last name as Mario and Zelda Creator. She also said she had her apartment to herself, which is true; she does own an apartment. She talked about how life is stressful right now in Japan. She claimed to have grown up in the Japanese town of Nagano, Japan. She also said she had gone to a university in Tokyo with a major in computer science. She wanted to visit America in July for 15 days when she had her time off. July is a normal time for people to get off in Japan for vacation, so I thought nothing of it. I told her that I was from a smaller town in California, but I lived not far from San Francisco. I told her how my town is quiet and how I could see mountains outside my house. She said she wanted a peaceful life and that life in Tokyo is too fast. And she always had great things to say about every picture I sent. We also talk about going on dates. I asked most of the questions, but she did ask me questions as well. I started to ask her a lot of questions about Japan. Like if she visited Himeji Castle, she said no. However, I did say yes to visiting Mount Fuji. I should have asked for a photo of this, but I didn’t. She was very happy; she told me very many topics about Japan. We even briefly talked about anime. She told me she liked Digimon, Dragon Ball Z, One Piece, and Detective Conan. This information is important later. We also talked about how both of us were big Disney fans growing up. One day she told me, how work was busy today. I told her it was okay and we didn’t need to talk today. She did, however, still text me a little bit that day. This was the only day during our whole time talking when she was super busy. There is nothing wrong with this; all humans get busy. I decided to spend my evening drawing a picture of me and Yomi on a date to surprise her. When I sent it to her, she did not react. This was a red flag for me. I tried to convince myself that she just didn’t like drawings that much. I know I sound really dumb right here, but whoever I was talking to is very smart and knows a lot of things. We started talking a few days later about the idea of meeting and going on dates together. I know that the yen is weak against the American dollar right now. I told them I would pay for anything they wanted when they were in America because I was in love. This was a big, big, big mistake. They then asked if I could give them 1500 dollars to buy a plane ticket. Never give money to people you never meet in real life, folks. Don’t be dumb like me. Turns out the ticket was actually 2100, so they asked for another 500 dollars the next day, claiming their friend let them borrow the money, and they paid the difference. They did show me a picture of a plane ticket. With the name Yomi and the correct airports in Tokyo and San Francisco. This gave me more trust in them; I got a lot of photos, videos, and even a picture of a plane ticket. At some point, I talked to them about social media. They claim to only have Skype and Line. I found it very hard to believe a woman in her 20s wasn’t on Instagram or Tik Tok. I went on Instagram and typed Yomi, and I found a Yomi who looked just like her. This made me think: why did she lie? What confused me is that all the pictures on her Instagram were different from the ones she sent me, other than one image that was the same. Meaning that the images were not clearly stolen from there. I looked up JPNDate online; there isn’t much info on this website (Right Now), other than one reddit forum from 1 year ago. Someone said something about being scammed by an IDOL on this site. They also said the website wasn’t in Japan but in China. I was wondering why I never saw new females joining the website; it was the same 23 pages worth of them. I wanted to test the website to see if it was legit. I made another account, a fake male account with AI artwork. It was approved in one second. I then made a fake female account; it said pending approval. It has now been 2 weeks since I made that account, and it still says pending approval. This means all the women on this website have to be fake actors. There is also a setting on JPNDate to see who has been online last or which accounts are the oldest. When I asked weeks before, Yomi claimed she had been on this website only for a short time. Her oldest picture was dated October 20, 2023. Yet she has the sixth-oldest account on JPNDate, according to the website. The reddit forum I talked about before was over a year old. When I was on this website for a month, at least 10 other women tried to text me. There was this one profile of a woman from Taiwan, age 20. She texted me three times in one month. When I joined, her age was listed as 20, and at some point, she changed her age to 25 on her profile. I ignored all these women. This proves again that all these women are fake. I do think they are women based on how they type, but they are not truthful like they act like they are. As I write this, I just realized this is Yomi's sister; it matches the other Yomi account's sister tag. I knew this website wasn’t telling the truth. I found the JPNDate IP address and tracked it to a server in Hong Kong, China, hosted by Alibaba cloud servers. Reddit was right; the website is Chinese. I took pictures of the website code just in case. I asked Yomi if she knew Alibaba. Then she asked if I’m going to China—a very strange follow-up question. At this point, I was confused. Who is Yomi? I couldn’t find anything about Miyuki Miyamoto, only Yomi. On Yomi Instagram, she speaks Chinese, not Japanese. I started to think there are no Japanese women on this website like they claim to be. She does speak Japanese, though. I started using more than 10 different software programs to track who Yomi was. I found like 1000 pictures of an idol, WeChat model, singer, dancer, person on endless Chinese dating sites, and a valiant professional gamer part of the AI’U agency for over 8 years. I found two other Instagram accounts with Yomi's face. Another account in Chinese with an idol name other than Yomi also had a Facebook page. The Chinese account has a post about her going to Australia in early 2024, where she is typing in English words. I also found an account where she speaks only Korean on Instagram. I also found a tik-tok where someone dances and looks 100% the same as Yomi, to whom I’m talking. The part that is crazy is that none of the images are 100% the same, but the person is the same in all of them. This shocked me; I follow all the accounts. I saw the stories daily to see who this person was. Her Yomi account is just her normal pictures and atm company or something. Her Korean account is about traveling to Singapore, Spain, and South Korea. She also posts a lot about Disney toys here. When I talked to the scammer about Disney, I had no idea about this. At this point, I knew that many men had been scammed out of money for fake love, not just me. These women are real women. However, there are actors pretending to be in love. They will crush your heart and call you names after a few weeks if you don’t buy their stuff. It has to be from JPNdate Mall only, nowhere else. JPNdate Mall prices are crazy high. I am not sure if the point of the website is just for money or if it is actually for women to study English or what. Chinese women, pretending to be Japanese (most of them), that have connections to Korean music and gaming on professional teams. Man, what a hell of a story this is. This sounds like a Hollywood movie, but it's real, or at least partly. At this point, everything I say seems to be true based on what I know. Yomi told me early on that she had one older sister and one younger brother. It seems like she is actually a twin, and she is the younger sister. Yomi claims to be 25, but I think she is closer to 27 or 28 based on finding a listing of her work in 2015 at Twitch Gaming. You have to be 18 or older to work at Twitch gaming, unless your parents sign things. When I showed the pictures I found to Yomi on JPNdate, she played the victim card on me. Saying she thinks I’m a liar and she wants to break up. Then she gave me her Skype account to try to prove it was legit, and all the other images and accounts were stolen and fake. Her Skype name is Rose, with a One Piece picture. She sent me many voice clips, crying, trying to convince me that she was real. I put them in software, and the voice was 30% human, 70% AI. Clearly, a woman is changing her Chinese or Korean voice to sound Japanese. A PC gamer would know how to do this; they do it all the time to troll. Yomi told me she didn’t play video games anymore, but I found a picture that wasn’t that old of a woman who looked the same as her; she had a Nintendo Switch with a white OLED in it. Btw it’s a known fact that Yomi uses software to cheat in the Pc FPS games. I can’t let Yomi, her sister, and her idol friends scam men for their time and money. Yomi Chiense's name is Vera Yuanxin (维拉). Her twin sister goes by veravera_zhangg. Yomi “deleted her profile” when I exposed her. But Yomi is still there with no pictures. Two they clearly have other accounts with people who look like she just changed hairstyle, talking and trying to scam other men. Remember when I said the anime part was important? On Yomi's Korean account, she has a friend with whom she talks about Digimon. She gave him a Disney toy. She told me she wanted to cosplay a fox; his profile is a fox. There is just so much proof that these are the same people. Later someone hit me up on Reddit from the Phillippines and told me how the same person Yomi scammed them. How for months Yomi promise them so many things. Then when they said it came to going on the plane to visit him they said they were sick or dying or something. Yomi also made a fake Instagram pretending to be Joe Biden and sent me a friend invite. I messaged and it was so funny how bad it was on their part. I said “Yomi are you trolling me?” then they deleted their account. This was on April 6th, 2024. Yomi tries so hard but use a lot of cheap things that are clearly fake like ai artwork, bots for like at ai_u agency, and fake profiles where she comments herself and attacks anyone who calls her out fairly. After exposing Jpndate they Ip ban my address lol. Then on social media joke about attacking me. If you call out their BS they threaten your family and yourself. Just stay away from all these sites if you're going to date online use well-known legit sites. I got over 2000 screenshots of proof. https://preview.redd.it/evcjxw3yas0d1.png?width=207&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d920b832420b94b41a8a892b3a6550639465fa3 https://preview.redd.it/3efaaxw1bs0d1.png?width=1211&format=png&auto=webp&s=86bc36fe1eff756bad69385ce6338811dc95dd9c https://preview.redd.it/s1uz0wq3bs0d1.png?width=231&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6f53a39315f3d272cf929489a6d967279f99ef9 https://preview.redd.it/xzs8rw47bs0d1.png?width=1891&format=png&auto=webp&s=19cfe93538c48d2fcabff470ee3ced29dc5550b8 https://preview.redd.it/ce3z6rt9bs0d1.png?width=1404&format=png&auto=webp&s=5079b1c4cd1b1337b90152531b6a56ad4ab25c18 https://preview.redd.it/eaa5qd6cbs0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fb4c711bcea17030eface95d3a3ebaab2cb0058 https://preview.redd.it/wl44id6cbs0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e89058b6481bc2cef8ffca25c05281926c3394d2 https://preview.redd.it/ekwi8f6cbs0d1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05cb9a01f88801ee297b2b48344fb87754fc92d9 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2024.05.16 14:39 WinterMisanthropy201 Type me please (opinions)
Sorry for any mistakes. My english isn't good enough.
Background: Men with 23 years, no college formation yet.
I’ll be glad if all of you help me with yojr opinions. How much details, better .
submitted by WinterMisanthropy201 to Socionics [link] [comments]
Background: Men with 23 years, no college formation yet.
Section 1
- How do you work? Why do people go to work? Are there any parameters that determine whether you can do work or not? What are they?
I work very slow. I don’t have problems working faster for a while, but if is too much starts to annoy me. We works humankind needs recurses to act and solve our existencial and material problems. But i can’t exclude other forces among work like capital, the human “progress”. The parameters for my work is something abstract, technological, creative and philosophical. I often like write about ideas, deal with machines and computers, reading about political philosophy. I have problems to get a job on those areas because i dont have iniciative to chase it. - How do you determine the quality of work? How do you determine the quality of a purchase? Do you pay any attention to it?
I determine the quality of work if it brings expected results and seems organized. The same for a purchase. I don’t pay any attention for it, i just want may these things fulfill their role, whatever the cost. - There is a professional next to you. How do you know they are a professional? How do you evaluate their skill?
- If you struggle to do something, how do you fix that? Do you know if your performance is better or worse than others?
- How do you measure the success of a job? What standard do you use? Do you pay attention to it? When should you deviate from this standard?
Section 2
- What is a whole? Can you identify its parts? Are the parts equivalent to the whole?
- What does "logical" mean? What is your understanding? Do you think that it correlates with the common view? How do you know you are being logical?
- What is hierarchy? Give examples of hierarchies. Do you need to follow it? Why or why not? Explain how hierarchy is used in a system you are familiar with.
- What is classification? How does classification work? Why is it needed and where is it applied? Give examples.
- Are your ideas consistent? How do you know they are consistent? How do you spot inconsistency in others' ideas?
Section 3
- Can you press people? What methods do you use? How does it happen?
- How do you get what you want? What do you do if you have to work to get what you want?
- How do you deal with opposition? What methods do you use to defend your interests?
- When do you think it's ok to occupy someone's space? Do you recognize it?
- Do others think you are a strong-willed person? Do you think you have a strong will?
Section 4
- How do you satisfy your physical senses? What examples can you give? What physical experiences are you drawn to?
- How do you find harmony with your environment? How do you build a harmonious environment? What happens if this harmony is disturbed?
- What does comfort mean to you? How do you create it? Comfort is where I can recharge my energy. That's basically my sofa and my bed.
- How do you express yourself in your hobbies? How do you engage yourself with those things?
- Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself, or trust someone else to do it? Why?
Section 5
- Is it acceptable to express emotions in public? Give examples of inappropriate expression of emotions.
- How do you express your emotions? Can you tell how your expressions affect others in a positive or negative way?
- Are you able to change your demeanor in order to interact with your environment in a more or less suitable way? How do you determine what is suitable?
- In what situations do you feel others' feelings? Can you give examples of when you wanted to improve the mood of others?
- How do others' emotions affect you? How does your internal emotional state correlate or contrast with what you express?
Section 6
- How can you tell how much emotional space there is between yourself and others? How can you affect this space?
- How do you determine how much you like or dislike someone else? How does this affect your relationships?
- How do you move from a distant relationship to a close one? What are the distinguishing characteristics of a close relationship?
- How do you know that you are a moral person? Where do you draw your morality from? Do you believe others should share your beliefs on what's moral? Why?
- Someone you care about is acting distant to you. How do you know when this attitude is a reflection of your relationship?
Section 7
- How can you tell someone has the potential to be a successful person? What qualities make a successful person and why?
- Where would you start when looking for a new hobby? How do you find new opportunities and how do you choose which would be best?
- How do you interpret the following statement: "Ideas don't need to be feasible in order to be worthwhile." Do you agree or disagree, and why?
- Describe your thought process when relating the following ideas: swimming, chicken, sciences. Do you think that others would draw the same or different connections?
- How would you summarize the qualities that are essential to who you are? What kind of potential in you has yet to be actualized and why?
Section 8
- How do people change? Can you describe how various events change people? Can others see those changes?
- How do you feel and experience time? Can time be wasted? How? Yes. You can estimate how much time a task takes. You can plan how you wanna use your time. You can set deadlines for whatever you are doing. Time can be wasted on things you don't value because you can't gain back time.
- Is there anything that cannot be described with words? What is it? If so, how can we understand what it is if language does not work?
- How do you anticipate events unfolding? How can you observe such unfoldments in your environment?
- In what situations is timing important? How do you know the time is right to act? How do you feel about waiting for the right moment?
I’ll be glad if all of you help me with yojr opinions. How much details, better .
2024.05.16 14:24 Daedalhead dating apps/a story/advice?
Heya-new here, but been out as pan for several years (& just didn't know the term before that).
This is long. If someone baring their life for context to their question is not for you, feel free to skip to the end(ish), or skip it altogether. For those of you who stick around, I appreciate your forbearance, as well as your help/advice/support/whathaveyou.
With how things are generally running in the world these days, I have no idea how to meet & connect w/people, let alone start dating, but I feel like that's where I'm headed. I'm also trying to continue to make friends & build a more comprehensive & cohesive chosen family.
To say I feel stymied is an understatement.
I've been told by fiends who no longer live here, as well as a few transplants from other places, that living in Seattle doesn't exactly help. The feedback I've had from most of these people is that the social scene here, regardless of the group &/or their focus-be it music, gardening, gaming, or anything else-is pretty much surface-fake & very toxic.
Having lived nowhere else, I have no real/other perspective with this, but the sentiments regarding all of it are both clear and consistent. Frankly, some of the things they've described as "normal" frienships/interactions elsewhere sound both completely foreign to me/my experience, & absolutely lovely. These people span not only this country, but a few are on different continents altogether-which makes that consistency significant.
I realize there's no such thing as a fantasy-perfect place, & that wherever you go, there you are is definitely true, but the social culture out here is pretty damn difficult.
To be honest, I'm not really all that surprised by these evaluations. I've considered moving for various reasons, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of them.
However, for me, that's not as straightforward as it might be for most people.
For starters, I'm disabled & immunocompromised, which, as you might (correctly) excpect, complicates everything in my life. Ableism is also a constant challenge, & that absolutely includes social interactions.
I am also neurodivergent, which I say with pride, but can also cause issues with the wrong neurotypical people. I've experienced this in all aspects of my life, including a few disasterous relationships (or "learning experiences", ha ha, no).
There's additional, relevant background stuff (well, relevant to me, anyway) that provides some context for how I've arrived at this point.
Here's my (recentish) story:
My spouse left me in 2012, essentially because I became disabled during the relationship (very, very common, unfortunately).
Like many, I became very isolated while I was learning how to live w/my disability. When my marriage (suddenly, unexpectedly, & without a sandgrain of warning) abruptly ended I was alone in a boat in the middle of an empty sea.
Disabled people do not have marriage equality (yep, really.), so we were married in name only-legal marriage wasn't an option. At all. What that meant for me in practical terms (not to mention with regards to my survival) was that I had zero legal recourse for financial help-or anything else, for that matter.
It did not help that my family shocked me with their complete lack of support (devestating & baffling), & I was looking at the reality of needing to shop around for the least awful shelter, because I was for sure going to become unhoused.
My now ex stepped in, said they wouldn't be the one to make me unhoused, & said they would continue to live w/me until I found stable housing I could afford. I had no one to go to & nowhere else to go, so while my ex is trash in most other ways, I am very grateful to them for doing so, if not for much else.
Finding available housing I could afford took 3½ years.
(SSDI is incredibly fucked, & if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please educate yourself. The creator 'crutches & spice' is a great place to start, but please-people need to know how bad it really is, & recognise that even you could become disabled-today even! But I digress in a way only an audhd person can).
3½ years of living in nearly complete isolation, while also having to watch my ex go on w/their life (including dating & new relationships) was traumatic & incredibly painful. When I finally moved into my own place & was finally living alone, I was fully aware I had a lot to work through, work on, & figure out. Dating would have been the worst decision I could have made, & I knew it.
I spent a good chunk of time figuring my shit out, realizing I was nonbinary (really, just another term I had not yet encountered) & mostly focusing on building friendships (especially building my chosen family) .
I have not dated/hooked up/whatever since. This was completely by my own choice, & I stand by that decision as being the healthiest & most loving thing I have done for myself in a long time-maybe ever. I love living alone, & for the most part have learned to enjoy being solitary, experiencing no more loneliness than the average person seems to encounter along the way.
This has been somewhat compromised of late, as I had to euthanize my emotional support animal just under a year ago, followed by going low-contact with my parents shortly after. However, I have also worked very, very hard with my therapist regarding this, & we both agree I've made significant progress. In other words, I'm pretty certain at this point that I'm not trying to find someone to compensate for those losses.
I decided I was ready to do the scary thing & at least start dipping my toes (or maybe my foot...up to the knee?) into the dating pool, & began to feel that out...in late 2019.
Well, it doesn't take much of anything to know what came next: c19 hit & I was back to just staying home all the time (something I already had a lot of experience with, obviously, so during lockdown, much comfort & advice was given to those who did not-lucky bastards).
Since folks have now decided the pandemic is over (don't even get me started on that, except to say that most people see my safety needs as a huge inconvenience), I've gone back to attempting in-person interactions.
For example, I joined an lgbtqia+ (& allies) choir, & participte with a nonprofit that focuses on trauma-based teaching, providing free art classes to a highly varied student body.
But while I have made a (very) few friends along the way, dating seems to have been shoved off the table (again).
I had to leave the choir about a year ago (mainly for issues regarding their c19 policy changes that completely disregarded the several immunocompromised members of the choir-one of whom is now permanently disabled w/long covid-& the shitty way the choir leadership responded to those of us who voiced concerns/dissent).
The nonprofit is cool, but given the general population they serve, not exactly a mecca of dating options. Even friendships must be considered very carefully & evaluated often, though I very much believe in the value of the work they do, & have met some really lovely people.
I'm in an odd place of integration (ie letting shit settle), so I'm not even sure I want a relationship (yeah, yeah, I know-do not name the cup from which you will not drink). A friends-with-benfits type situation would be welcome, however, & I'm not opposed to being part of a polycule, either.
So I'm back to square one, and apps seem as good an idea as any...save for the horror stories I hear from others, especially people who are afab (like me).
If I had a name tag & was asked to label myself, "Disabled, nonbinary (afab), neurodivergent, immunocompromised, pansexual person" probably wouldn't fit.
I checked out a post in one of the bisexual-focused reddit groups, regarding dating apps (& experiences therein), but much of the discussion didn't fully apply (or apply at all) to pansexual-identifying people. That wasn't a huge surprise, of course, but it was frustrating & and disappointing, for sure.
If you've made it this far, you get a Big Gold Star Thank You (!) & a request for thoughts, advice, suggestions, stories (I could use some funny &/or encouraging ones, to be honest), & any other relevant comments, especially with regards to dating apps. Even though I feel age is generally & often irrelevant, I suppose I should mention I turned 48 this last January.
I'm open to in-person interaction, but if it's indoors, I have to mask up, & prefer masked events at venues with decent air circulation. This winter, I missed several shows because I knew they'd be packed with unmasked people in a small space with abominable ventilation & air circulation. It sucks.
Online interaction is absolutely welcome, as it's the most likely to be accessible to me. Plus, with the summer weather already kicking in (thanks climate change!), the possibilities for &/or opportunities to actually meet in person are greatly increased.
*Please be kind (yeah, I know that's a tall order for the internet, but honestly, so far all y'all seem like pretty decent people).
I'm not generally very good at asking for help, & always worry that my story will just be seen as a sob story (or incredibly boring). This post is part of my efforts to put all the work I've done in being accountable, taking real actions, & continuing to grow past that into practice. Scary as hell, but here we are.
Go Me.
That said, I'll most likely look at this tomorrow with embarrassment, thinking it is probably too much information-but even if I feel that way, I can ignore that & choose to believe otherwise. (Feel free to voice support to that effect, should you be so inclined).
OK. Thanks for reading, & thanks in advance for any help you may have to offer.
Cheers
submitted by Daedalhead to pansexual [link] [comments]
This is long. If someone baring their life for context to their question is not for you, feel free to skip to the end(ish), or skip it altogether. For those of you who stick around, I appreciate your forbearance, as well as your help/advice/support/whathaveyou.
With how things are generally running in the world these days, I have no idea how to meet & connect w/people, let alone start dating, but I feel like that's where I'm headed. I'm also trying to continue to make friends & build a more comprehensive & cohesive chosen family.
To say I feel stymied is an understatement.
I've been told by fiends who no longer live here, as well as a few transplants from other places, that living in Seattle doesn't exactly help. The feedback I've had from most of these people is that the social scene here, regardless of the group &/or their focus-be it music, gardening, gaming, or anything else-is pretty much surface-fake & very toxic.
Having lived nowhere else, I have no real/other perspective with this, but the sentiments regarding all of it are both clear and consistent. Frankly, some of the things they've described as "normal" frienships/interactions elsewhere sound both completely foreign to me/my experience, & absolutely lovely. These people span not only this country, but a few are on different continents altogether-which makes that consistency significant.
I realize there's no such thing as a fantasy-perfect place, & that wherever you go, there you are is definitely true, but the social culture out here is pretty damn difficult.
To be honest, I'm not really all that surprised by these evaluations. I've considered moving for various reasons, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of them.
However, for me, that's not as straightforward as it might be for most people.
For starters, I'm disabled & immunocompromised, which, as you might (correctly) excpect, complicates everything in my life. Ableism is also a constant challenge, & that absolutely includes social interactions.
I am also neurodivergent, which I say with pride, but can also cause issues with the wrong neurotypical people. I've experienced this in all aspects of my life, including a few disasterous relationships (or "learning experiences", ha ha, no).
There's additional, relevant background stuff (well, relevant to me, anyway) that provides some context for how I've arrived at this point.
Here's my (recentish) story:
My spouse left me in 2012, essentially because I became disabled during the relationship (very, very common, unfortunately).
Like many, I became very isolated while I was learning how to live w/my disability. When my marriage (suddenly, unexpectedly, & without a sandgrain of warning) abruptly ended I was alone in a boat in the middle of an empty sea.
Disabled people do not have marriage equality (yep, really.), so we were married in name only-legal marriage wasn't an option. At all. What that meant for me in practical terms (not to mention with regards to my survival) was that I had zero legal recourse for financial help-or anything else, for that matter.
It did not help that my family shocked me with their complete lack of support (devestating & baffling), & I was looking at the reality of needing to shop around for the least awful shelter, because I was for sure going to become unhoused.
My now ex stepped in, said they wouldn't be the one to make me unhoused, & said they would continue to live w/me until I found stable housing I could afford. I had no one to go to & nowhere else to go, so while my ex is trash in most other ways, I am very grateful to them for doing so, if not for much else.
Finding available housing I could afford took 3½ years.
(SSDI is incredibly fucked, & if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please educate yourself. The creator 'crutches & spice' is a great place to start, but please-people need to know how bad it really is, & recognise that even you could become disabled-today even! But I digress in a way only an audhd person can).
3½ years of living in nearly complete isolation, while also having to watch my ex go on w/their life (including dating & new relationships) was traumatic & incredibly painful. When I finally moved into my own place & was finally living alone, I was fully aware I had a lot to work through, work on, & figure out. Dating would have been the worst decision I could have made, & I knew it.
I spent a good chunk of time figuring my shit out, realizing I was nonbinary (really, just another term I had not yet encountered) & mostly focusing on building friendships (especially building my chosen family) .
I have not dated/hooked up/whatever since. This was completely by my own choice, & I stand by that decision as being the healthiest & most loving thing I have done for myself in a long time-maybe ever. I love living alone, & for the most part have learned to enjoy being solitary, experiencing no more loneliness than the average person seems to encounter along the way.
This has been somewhat compromised of late, as I had to euthanize my emotional support animal just under a year ago, followed by going low-contact with my parents shortly after. However, I have also worked very, very hard with my therapist regarding this, & we both agree I've made significant progress. In other words, I'm pretty certain at this point that I'm not trying to find someone to compensate for those losses.
I decided I was ready to do the scary thing & at least start dipping my toes (or maybe my foot...up to the knee?) into the dating pool, & began to feel that out...in late 2019.
Well, it doesn't take much of anything to know what came next: c19 hit & I was back to just staying home all the time (something I already had a lot of experience with, obviously, so during lockdown, much comfort & advice was given to those who did not-lucky bastards).
Since folks have now decided the pandemic is over (don't even get me started on that, except to say that most people see my safety needs as a huge inconvenience), I've gone back to attempting in-person interactions.
For example, I joined an lgbtqia+ (& allies) choir, & participte with a nonprofit that focuses on trauma-based teaching, providing free art classes to a highly varied student body.
But while I have made a (very) few friends along the way, dating seems to have been shoved off the table (again).
I had to leave the choir about a year ago (mainly for issues regarding their c19 policy changes that completely disregarded the several immunocompromised members of the choir-one of whom is now permanently disabled w/long covid-& the shitty way the choir leadership responded to those of us who voiced concerns/dissent).
The nonprofit is cool, but given the general population they serve, not exactly a mecca of dating options. Even friendships must be considered very carefully & evaluated often, though I very much believe in the value of the work they do, & have met some really lovely people.
I'm in an odd place of integration (ie letting shit settle), so I'm not even sure I want a relationship (yeah, yeah, I know-do not name the cup from which you will not drink). A friends-with-benfits type situation would be welcome, however, & I'm not opposed to being part of a polycule, either.
So I'm back to square one, and apps seem as good an idea as any...save for the horror stories I hear from others, especially people who are afab (like me).
If I had a name tag & was asked to label myself, "Disabled, nonbinary (afab), neurodivergent, immunocompromised, pansexual person" probably wouldn't fit.
I checked out a post in one of the bisexual-focused reddit groups, regarding dating apps (& experiences therein), but much of the discussion didn't fully apply (or apply at all) to pansexual-identifying people. That wasn't a huge surprise, of course, but it was frustrating & and disappointing, for sure.
If you've made it this far, you get a Big Gold Star Thank You (!) & a request for thoughts, advice, suggestions, stories (I could use some funny &/or encouraging ones, to be honest), & any other relevant comments, especially with regards to dating apps. Even though I feel age is generally & often irrelevant, I suppose I should mention I turned 48 this last January.
I'm open to in-person interaction, but if it's indoors, I have to mask up, & prefer masked events at venues with decent air circulation. This winter, I missed several shows because I knew they'd be packed with unmasked people in a small space with abominable ventilation & air circulation. It sucks.
Online interaction is absolutely welcome, as it's the most likely to be accessible to me. Plus, with the summer weather already kicking in (thanks climate change!), the possibilities for &/or opportunities to actually meet in person are greatly increased.
*Please be kind (yeah, I know that's a tall order for the internet, but honestly, so far all y'all seem like pretty decent people).
I'm not generally very good at asking for help, & always worry that my story will just be seen as a sob story (or incredibly boring). This post is part of my efforts to put all the work I've done in being accountable, taking real actions, & continuing to grow past that into practice. Scary as hell, but here we are.
Go Me.
That said, I'll most likely look at this tomorrow with embarrassment, thinking it is probably too much information-but even if I feel that way, I can ignore that & choose to believe otherwise. (Feel free to voice support to that effect, should you be so inclined).
OK. Thanks for reading, & thanks in advance for any help you may have to offer.
Cheers
2024.05.16 14:14 obiviya52smith How to Set Up an LLC in Pennsylvania: Step-by-Step Guide by TRUIC
 | How to Set Up an LLC in Pennsylvania: Step-by-Step Guide by TRUIC submitted by obiviya52smith to u/obiviya52smith [link] [comments] Setting up a Limited Liability Company (LLC) in Pennsylvania is a straightforward process that offers many benefits to business owners. In this step-by-step guide by TRUIC, we will walk you through the entire process of forming an LLC in Pennsylvania, highlighting key steps and costs involved. We will also compare the process with forming an LLC in New York, California, and Florida to provide a broader perspective. Why Choose an LLC in Pennsylvania?Forming an LLC in Pennsylvania offers numerous advantages:
Step 1: Choose a Name for Your LLCYour LLC’s name must be unique and comply with Pennsylvania’s naming requirements. It should include "Limited Liability Company," "LLC," or "L.L.C." You can check the availability of your desired name on the Pennsylvania Department of State’s website.Step 2: Register LLC in PA OnlineFiling online is the fastest and most efficient method to register your LLC. Follow these steps to complete the process:
Step 3: Appoint a Registered AgentA registered agent is responsible for receiving legal documents on behalf of your LLC. The agent can be an individual resident of Pennsylvania or a business entity authorized to do business in the state. You can act as your own registered agent or hire a registered agent service.Step 4: Create an Operating AgreementAlthough not legally required, having an Operating Agreement is highly recommended. This document outlines the management structure, ownership, and operating procedures of your LLC. It helps prevent disputes and ensures all members are on the same page regarding their roles and responsibilities.Step 5: Obtain an EINAn Employer Identification Number (EIN) is required for tax purposes, opening a business bank account, and hiring employees. You can obtain an EIN for free from the IRS website.Step 6: Pennsylvania LLC RegistrationComplete the registration by filing the necessary documents and obtaining required licenses and permits. Depending on your business activities, you may need local, state, or federal permits.How to Start an LLC in PA for FreeWhile it's not entirely possible to avoid all costs, you can minimize expenses by:
Forming a Single-Member LLC in PennsylvaniaA single-member LLC in Pennsylvania follows the same formation steps as a multi-member LLC. The key difference is that the LLC has only one owner. Single-member LLCs benefit from simplified management and flexible taxation options, often being treated as a disregarded entity for tax purposes unless otherwise elected.Benefits of an LLC in Pennsylvania
Cost of Forming an LLC in PAThe primary costs involved in forming an LLC in Pennsylvania include:
How Long Does It Take to Get an LLC in PA?The time it takes to form an LLC in Pennsylvania depends on the method of filing:
Comparison with LLC in New York, California, and FloridaLLC in New YorkForming an LLC in New York involves several costs, including filing the Articles of Organization, fulfilling a mandatory publication requirement, and filing a Biennial Statement every two years. The publication requirement, in particular, can be quite costly, as it involves publishing notices in two newspapers for six consecutive weeks.LLC in CaliforniaForming an LLC in California also comes with filing fees and an annual minimum franchise tax. California does not require a publication notice but does require LLCs to file a Statement of Information biennially and pay an annual franchise tax.LLC in FloridaForming an LLC in Florida involves filing Articles of Organization with the Florida Department of State and paying a filing fee. Florida does not have a publication requirement, and annual report filings are straightforward, making it a cost-effective option for many businesses.ConclusionSetting up an LLC in Pennsylvania is a strategic and beneficial move for many entrepreneurs. By following this step-by-step guide and utilizing the resources provided by TRUIC, you can navigate the process with ease and confidence. Whether you are forming a single-member LLC or a multi-member LLC, Pennsylvania offers a business-friendly environment with numerous advantages.Ready to Form Your LLC? Visit TRUIC today to access our user-friendly resources and start your LLC formation journey with confidence. Let’s turn your business vision into reality together! |
2024.05.16 13:43 Qu1cklyyy Dating a person with bpd
Hey guys, I will give u a lot of context and I’m thankful for everyone comment. So I met this girl from tinder, we already knew each other because we had like a similar friend group and went to some festivals and events together. But I always had my ex girlfriend and she also had a different boyfriend every time. We still liked us and had some interest but we never did something more maybe just giving compliments and flirting a lil bit. Back to today. So she wrote me on tinder because we both obviously are single and we started dating. It was pretty intense and such a good and chill time with her. She told me about her bdp but I saw nothing from it. The only thing that was kinda weird for me was like that she is kinda cold and nit like a chatting person but when we met it was always really really beautiful. I met her brother and her parents and I helped her a lot because she was moving out. We also went to a rave and took some mdma and had like really deep conversation and intimacy. So like the best 2 months I had in a long time. Then we again spend like 4 days together and had such s great time but we had no sex which was kinda weird for me because I always think I do something wrong with starting it and I got a bit frustrated. So I wanted to speak about it and asked what the problem is or why she has no lust. She got really defensive saying things like what do you want me to do give u a blowjob right now. And ofc it’s not what I wanted. My last relationship was about 5 years and I know that communication is so important and I just wanted to talk about it. Nevertheless we started to argue, she was running away from me doing random stuff like doing the dishes because she did not want to talk. I didn’t know what to do and I always want to talk things out. I also got mad and did thing that were really mean and toxic. It got like back and forth we both started drinking alcohol and at some point we were okay but then I said something that triggered her again and she got really loud and mad and then she really exploded and was hitting the wall really hard and at that moment I knew okay I should leave her alone ( she already said that I should leave) So I drove home and wrote her a long text saying I’m really sorry and I did not want to hurt her and push her in this situation). No answer from her. After one week I’m asking her if we could talk about what happened because I understood that this was like bpd anger and I started so read a lot about it. I again said sorry and I handled the situation really bad because I overstepped her borders and did not validate her feelings and all that bad stuff. She said we could talk like next week but she did not text. So I’m texting her again asking her if can forgive at some point or is it just over. ( I still have a lot of important stuff from her in my car so we have to meet someday). She said she doesn’t know if she can forgive me. Another week passes no text and I’m asking again if we could talk. She says we have nothing to talk about. She thinks I’m an really egoistic person and I just want to have sex with her and hurt her feelings and stuff like that. Like 1 month passed and I still can’t forget her because we had such a good time and just because of one fight everything is done for her. I did a lot of things wrong but imo she should give me another chance but yeah with all the information I have about bpd now I think she just demonizes me and I’m like a really really bad person for her. So what do you guys think, I stopped sitting her and will not write her again.
What are the chances that she gives me another chance and we could talk or what should I do. As I said I got like important stuff from her in my car so we have to meet but I think she will just take the things and then go away. Or is maybe just an episode but can it really be that long ?
I’m really heartbroken even tho I only dated her for 2 months :(
Thanks a lot !!!
submitted by Qu1cklyyy to BPDPartners [link] [comments]
What are the chances that she gives me another chance and we could talk or what should I do. As I said I got like important stuff from her in my car so we have to meet but I think she will just take the things and then go away. Or is maybe just an episode but can it really be that long ?
I’m really heartbroken even tho I only dated her for 2 months :(
Thanks a lot !!!
2024.05.16 13:41 boreddweller SO not putting me and baby before his family
Do not post anywhere else.
I'm so sad I have to come here. If you see my history, you'd be able to tell that I have a huge MIL problem. For context, me and my SO are not married, but have been together for 6.5 years, living together for 6. We have just welcomed home our rainbow baby after a stillbirth 2 years ago.
SO's family are narcissistic, the typical toxic household of entitled and abusive behaviour. He moved out before we met, but only down the road. So they live 2 minutes away. Between our stillborn child and our rainbow baby being born (15 months between them), I saw his family TWICE. I received no messages from them, the contact was once every 7.5 months. Now they feel entitled to see us (or rather our baby) every week or two. This is not okay with me.
SO seemed to have a grip on their behaviour before I got pregnant, so I had no worries. He stood up to them. Now it seems like he has gone backwards and has lost whatever spine he had. I am so disappointed.
I asked him to tell them I won't have visitors for 2 weeks after giving birth. When they did visit, there would be no kissing of the baby. We also would not take unsolicited advice.
He did not communicate this to them. This resulted in his mother hounding his phone when we were still in hospital, demanding information, begging to come and see us, telling us we were being weird and must not be proud of our baby. SO muted her, but only until we got home.
We (I) let them come over when baby was 3 weeks old. Those 3 weeks were full of demands to see her. Oh, I almost forgot, we did walk baby over in the pram so they could see them, when baby was 10 days old. I was still healing from 2nd degree tear. We stayed outside and because MIL didn't get to hold baby, it 'didn't count' as meeting them! This boils my blood and SO said nothing.
We have visited twice more (baby is almost 4 months). They have kissed my baby on all visits, apart from one where SO said they couldn't because of FIL's cough. Well no, that isn't our boundary, it's no kissing at all! It happened quickly all times, and I felt it was SO's place to correct his family. Clearly I was wrong.
MIL demands to hold baby regardless of how baby is. She demands us to take baby to see them. She will ask every week. She makes comments on how long it's been (7 weeks now). SO came home in the week (he works for FIL and does paperwork at their house, where MIL lives) in a horrible mood. He didn't say what was wrong until later on, so I was anxious until then. He says he feels like a d*ck whenever his family ask to see our baby, because he can't give them an answer. I don't know why he can't say no to them. He says because they'll demand an answer. He doesn't know how to grey rock.
The problem is, I have made my feelings clear. It's like he forgets my feelings when he talks to or sees his family. I don't know why he has lost his spine. It's been constant since baby was born, he knows he can't please everyone yet he still feels like he is in the middle. I feel like he should be putting us first.
The final straw was today, when he took baby out to see his Dad who had arrived to pick him up for work. He stood in the road with her talking to him through his van window, then lifted baby up so he could kiss them. I was fuming. He brought baby back to me and I told him off. He said he forgot.
On the weekend, he asked again because MIL asked WHEN she can come over, not IF. He said to baby "I don't know if you'll ever see Grandma again". I left the room. He followed and said "I' doing it again aren't I?".
He knows he is a people pleaser. He knows we should come first. He has lost his spine and I don't know how to get him to grow it again. I feel so unhappy, and angry that my motherhood journey is being ruined.
I don't want to leave him, we are going to be moving away from the area in the next couple of years, not right now due to finances. He knows how toxic they are, and he is training for a new career so he can leave the family business. He's had other interviews they don't know about.
Leaving is the last option, if not only due to the fact I do not want him going over to his family with baby without me there, because he can't protect her.
I feel like his mother's surrogate. I'm not enjoying life here. I need to communicate this to him. Oh, I' m also on antidepressants because of all of this, following my stillbirth and pregnancy after loss. I'm' so tired and disappointed.
submitted by boreddweller to JustNoSO [link] [comments]
I'm so sad I have to come here. If you see my history, you'd be able to tell that I have a huge MIL problem. For context, me and my SO are not married, but have been together for 6.5 years, living together for 6. We have just welcomed home our rainbow baby after a stillbirth 2 years ago.
SO's family are narcissistic, the typical toxic household of entitled and abusive behaviour. He moved out before we met, but only down the road. So they live 2 minutes away. Between our stillborn child and our rainbow baby being born (15 months between them), I saw his family TWICE. I received no messages from them, the contact was once every 7.5 months. Now they feel entitled to see us (or rather our baby) every week or two. This is not okay with me.
SO seemed to have a grip on their behaviour before I got pregnant, so I had no worries. He stood up to them. Now it seems like he has gone backwards and has lost whatever spine he had. I am so disappointed.
I asked him to tell them I won't have visitors for 2 weeks after giving birth. When they did visit, there would be no kissing of the baby. We also would not take unsolicited advice.
He did not communicate this to them. This resulted in his mother hounding his phone when we were still in hospital, demanding information, begging to come and see us, telling us we were being weird and must not be proud of our baby. SO muted her, but only until we got home.
We (I) let them come over when baby was 3 weeks old. Those 3 weeks were full of demands to see her. Oh, I almost forgot, we did walk baby over in the pram so they could see them, when baby was 10 days old. I was still healing from 2nd degree tear. We stayed outside and because MIL didn't get to hold baby, it 'didn't count' as meeting them! This boils my blood and SO said nothing.
We have visited twice more (baby is almost 4 months). They have kissed my baby on all visits, apart from one where SO said they couldn't because of FIL's cough. Well no, that isn't our boundary, it's no kissing at all! It happened quickly all times, and I felt it was SO's place to correct his family. Clearly I was wrong.
MIL demands to hold baby regardless of how baby is. She demands us to take baby to see them. She will ask every week. She makes comments on how long it's been (7 weeks now). SO came home in the week (he works for FIL and does paperwork at their house, where MIL lives) in a horrible mood. He didn't say what was wrong until later on, so I was anxious until then. He says he feels like a d*ck whenever his family ask to see our baby, because he can't give them an answer. I don't know why he can't say no to them. He says because they'll demand an answer. He doesn't know how to grey rock.
The problem is, I have made my feelings clear. It's like he forgets my feelings when he talks to or sees his family. I don't know why he has lost his spine. It's been constant since baby was born, he knows he can't please everyone yet he still feels like he is in the middle. I feel like he should be putting us first.
The final straw was today, when he took baby out to see his Dad who had arrived to pick him up for work. He stood in the road with her talking to him through his van window, then lifted baby up so he could kiss them. I was fuming. He brought baby back to me and I told him off. He said he forgot.
On the weekend, he asked again because MIL asked WHEN she can come over, not IF. He said to baby "I don't know if you'll ever see Grandma again". I left the room. He followed and said "I' doing it again aren't I?".
He knows he is a people pleaser. He knows we should come first. He has lost his spine and I don't know how to get him to grow it again. I feel so unhappy, and angry that my motherhood journey is being ruined.
I don't want to leave him, we are going to be moving away from the area in the next couple of years, not right now due to finances. He knows how toxic they are, and he is training for a new career so he can leave the family business. He's had other interviews they don't know about.
Leaving is the last option, if not only due to the fact I do not want him going over to his family with baby without me there, because he can't protect her.
I feel like his mother's surrogate. I'm not enjoying life here. I need to communicate this to him. Oh, I' m also on antidepressants because of all of this, following my stillbirth and pregnancy after loss. I'm' so tired and disappointed.
2024.05.16 13:14 HighwayParticular245 Tekken 4 Characters: All Amazing Powerful Characters Of Tekken 4 Game
We have given a lot of information about Takken game in our previous few articles, now in this article we will tell you about Tekken 4 Characters and will also tell you what are the qualities of these characters and how they work. Actually, every player of the game is amazing and is famous for his own movements, but one of them is Jin Kazama, who is the most popular among the people, most of the people use this player while playing the game, because Jin has a lot of skills. It is considered to be a more powerful character and this is the reason why people play with it very well.
Magic Tekken 4 is a free action game from WB Balinco Studio Team. It’s an indie fighting game that, despite having Tekken in its name, is not connected to the huge Bandai Namco franchise. There is no base in this game, only eight characters sharing almost the same moves. Although it features full 3D rendering of both characters and backgrounds, Magic Tekken 4 has limited replayability or entertainment value. It feels shallow and repetitive, especially because it has no concept or uniqueness that stands out. Makes the character different.
The fourth main installment in the Tekken video game franchise, developed and published by Namco, it was released as an arcade game. in 2001 and in 2002 on the PlayStation 2, with the tagline A New Century of Fighting. The game introduced significantly changed gameplay and mechanics compared to its predecessors; However, it was praised for its highly realistic graphics and visuals for its time, as well as its cinematic ending. Tekken 4 is notably the first canon game where the three main protagonists of the series, Heihachi Mishima, Kazuya Mishima, and Jin Kazama, appear together.
Download Tekken 4 Characters
Bryan Fury-
submitted by HighwayParticular245 to u/HighwayParticular245 [link] [comments]
Magic Tekken 4 is a free action game from WB Balinco Studio Team. It’s an indie fighting game that, despite having Tekken in its name, is not connected to the huge Bandai Namco franchise. There is no base in this game, only eight characters sharing almost the same moves. Although it features full 3D rendering of both characters and backgrounds, Magic Tekken 4 has limited replayability or entertainment value. It feels shallow and repetitive, especially because it has no concept or uniqueness that stands out. Makes the character different.
The fourth main installment in the Tekken video game franchise, developed and published by Namco, it was released as an arcade game. in 2001 and in 2002 on the PlayStation 2, with the tagline A New Century of Fighting. The game introduced significantly changed gameplay and mechanics compared to its predecessors; However, it was praised for its highly realistic graphics and visuals for its time, as well as its cinematic ending. Tekken 4 is notably the first canon game where the three main protagonists of the series, Heihachi Mishima, Kazuya Mishima, and Jin Kazama, appear together.
Download Tekken 4 Characters
Bryan Fury-
- Brian is famous for his amazing mix of keepouts and rushdowns, and Tekken 4 Characters is no different. He has a lot of equipment to keep his opponent at a distance, if he has to position himself in front of the opponent he also has a mid CH launcher with huge range and + frame. Once he gets there, he delivers a hard hitting low to his opponent, a fast CH mid launcher that is neutral on block, Can take down with powerful jab strings, hit-consistent strings, etc. Additionally, he has some of the best spacing tools the game has to offer.
2024.05.16 13:06 DrYangHF7 I recovered from aplastic anemia via Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door (贫血)
Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
In 2021, I experienced 2 menstrual hemorrhages. On September 5, I went to the hospital to get the physical examination report card. The doctor told me my illness was very serious. The report card showed that my platelets were only 13×10^9/L (simplified to 13, as below), while the normal level is 100-300. The doctor told me to call my husband and ask him to take me to the city hospital. My husband didn't believe it. He thought something might be wrong with the test. Thus, I didn't travel to the city hospital that day.
In the restaurant the next day, when I sat down on the chair, I felt dizzy! I hurriedly let my husband take me to the hospital. According to various aspects of the examination, such as bone penetration and chest bone penetration, the condition is aplastic anemia. By then, I really didn't know how severe this illness is. I thought I did not eat things indiscriminately. I should be full of positive energy and not get sick. At the time, I did not know how stupid and ignorant I was. I had many ignorant habits, such as staying up late at night, bursting into anger, sexual misconduct, and abortions. If I didn't study Buddhism, I would never realize how heavy and deep my karmic obstacles are!
I had a gynecological problem for a long time, but I hadn't been to the hospital, and I was afraid to go to the hospital. It's more likely to happen if you are afraid of something happening. I regret not checking the body timely. Two years ago I dreamed of my deceased aunt and 2 children next to her. Pointing to my gynecology, my aunt said cancer. As I did not encounter Buddhism at that time, I did not understand that it was a great calamity. After waking up I felt scared. Then, I thought it was just a dream, and did not pay attention to it.
My karma broke 2 years late, as the dream predicted. I received 8-10 days of hospital treatment. We asked to be discharged because the cost was too high. I went to our county hospital. A doctor with glasses told me to have a bone marrow transplant. My father-in-law and father did not believe my disease was so serious, and neither did I. I was only a bit older than 30 years old, so I could not have such a severe disease. We travelled to a city hospital for treatment. The doctor told me that I would need a bone marrow transplant. That's when I realized this disease's seriousness!
Master Lu enlightened us to pay attention to the premonitory dream. Otherwise, it would be too late to regret. At that time, I had not encountered the Buddha's teachings, so I knew nothing about these principles. A bone marrow transplant was a bolt out of the blue for us! It cost hundreds of thousands of CNY. Our family was poor, so we couldn't afford it! During that time in the hospital, I was so scared that I couldn't eat or sleep. I also had chronic insomnia. One of the two cancer patients sleeping next to me was in pain every day and relied on painkillers to stop the pain, which was really agonizing. The other cancer patient was in her 70s and afraid of death. Without the Buddha's teachings, sentient beings can only follow their destiny. Although they do not want to die they have to die.
The hospital environment makes me not want to stay for a moment. They are all serious illnesses, such as cancer. I fear thinking about it. I requested discharge from the hospital after >10 days of treatment. I requested to take medication at home and follow a conservative approach to my health. So, I was discharged home.
The other morning, while I exercised at home, I suddenly felt weak. Just in time, my father-in-law arrived. I hurriedly asked him to take me to the clinic. I was too weak to move, so he carried me downstairs.
One night, I read a post on the Internet that a person with a blood disease did not undergo a bone marrow transplant. That person was treated in a specialized Chinese and Western medicine hospital and the low platelet level became normal. So, I contacted the doctor right away and registered for an appointment. My husband immediately booked a sleeper ticket to the hospital for the next day. The fear that I might not wake up after sleeping kept me from sleeping that night. After a few days of hospital treatment, platelets still didn't increase. This worries me a lot. What should I do? Until then, I realized that my disease could not be controlled by medication at all.
In the meantime, I was blessed by the Bodhisattva to see an online video of Master Lu reading a totem posted by a Buddhist practitioner. Since then, I have understood that sexual misconduct and abortion create heavy karma. My gratitude goes out to Bodhisattva's mercy for letting me encounter karma. So I promptly used the three Gems of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door to treat my disease. I made 2 vows: become a vegetarian for life, and release 2,000 fish after discharge from the hospital.
Just after making the vows, my appetite increased greatly. Actually, in the hospital, the happiest thing for me is to eat. Half a month later I returned home from the hospital. The Buddhist practitioner sent me Buddhist materials. I recited Buddhist scriptures daily. Approximately 10 days later, I returned to the hospital to check. My platelets rose from 13 to 27. A month later, my platelets increased from 27 to 50. During my third check, my platelets rose from 50 to 107. Normal platelet levels are 100-300, so my platelet level is back to normal.
I was so happy, and blessed by the Bodhisattva! I had tears in my eyes at that time. Although there were still abnormal indicators, such as anemia, after all, it had only been a few months since I encountered the Buddha's teachings. Later, my platelet index reached 127.
There was a period of slackness in my cultivation: I could not finish reciting 3 Little Houses within 2 days; did not want to get up in the morning; did not vow the number of Little Houses to my karmic creditors; and my vow was not powerful enough. These resulted in the two dream exams being flunked, leading to 3 or 4 indicators of abnormality.
Hence, my fellow Buddhist practitioners, please take me as a warning, and strive to cultivate our minds, recite Buddhist scriptures diligently, devote ourselves to one Buddhist practice, and never quit!
Now I sincerely make 10 vows to Guan Yin Bodhisattva:
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu. I would appreciate critique and correction from my fellow practitioners!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Buddhist practitioner Li
Posted: 2022-06-06
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-31
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127——心灵法门网友反馈
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127！
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
我在2021年经历两次经期大出血，9月5日那天去医院拿检查身体报告单，医生跟我说，我的病很严重，当时报告单显示我的血小板只有13，正常人为100到300，医生叫我打电话给我先生，让我老公陪我去市医院。当时先生不相信，以为检查出了问题，当天就没有去医院。
第二天上饭店吃饭，刚坐下来头发晕，不好了！我赶紧让先生打车上医院，医生看了单子就进行了各方面检查，骨穿，做胸部骨穿，检查结果出来确定是再生障碍性贫血，当时真不知道这个病的严重性，一直还认为自己没有乱吃东西，还觉得自己正能量满满，不会生病，当时真不知道自己有多愚痴无明，有很多的无明习气，熬夜，爆脾气，邪淫，打胎。不学佛不知道，学佛后才知道业障深重啊！
一直以来我妇科不好，也没有去医院，也很怕去医院，真是怕什么来什么。真是后悔没有及时检查身体，也正如在两年前一个晚上做梦，梦见我去世的阿姨和旁边两个小孩，阿姨针对我妇科说癌症，当时没有学佛不知道自己有劫，醒来也有些害怕，只是觉得只是一个梦而已，就没有重视。就这样两年后业障爆发，就这样在医院进行了八到十天治疗，我们要求出院了，因为费用太高，不得不出院.回到家后，去我们县医院，一个带眼镜的医生跟我说要做骨髓移植，公公和爸爸都不相信，我也不相信，这么年轻三十几岁不可能得这么严重的病。于是我们上市医院进行了治疗，医院跟我说确定要做骨髓移植，这时才了解这个病的严重性！
师父说一定要重视预示梦，不重视后悔来不及，当时没有闻到佛法哪里懂师父说的这些道理。做骨髓移植对我们来说晴天霹雳！要几十万，我们家穷，哪里有那么多钱！在医院那段时间吓得吃不下、睡不着，我也有着长期的失眠症，睡在旁边的两个癌症病人，其中一个每天身体疼痛，靠止痛药才能止痛，真是痛苦不堪，一个癌症病人七十多岁了，也害怕死亡。没有闻到佛法，只能随命运走，不想走也得走，只有闻到佛法才有办法。
在医院经过了十几天的治疗，我要求出院回家吃药，保守治疗，医院那个环境一刻也不想待，全是重症，癌症，想想都恐惧，于是我出院了回到家中。
有一天清晨我在锻炼身体，突然浑身无力，正好公公回来了，我赶紧叫他带我上诊所，当时连下楼都是公公背下楼的。一天晚上我在网上看到一位朋友血液病没有做骨髓移植，经过一家专科中西医结合医院让自己的低血小板恢复到正常了。于是，我赶紧按上面的联系方式联系到了医生，挂号预约，老公回来立马订了第二天的去医院的卧铺票。当天晚上我就没有睡，我怕我没有这个福气，怕睡着了醒不过来了。到了医院治疗了几天，血小板还是没有上来，这下可愁死我了，该怎么办？这个时候我才知道我的这个病靠药物根本控制不了的。
就在这时，菩萨保佑我，让我看到一位师兄在网上发的师父图腾的视频，看了才明白是自己邪淫、打胎孩子的业障病，菩萨慈悲保佑让业障深重的我闻到了佛法。于是我就运用心灵法门“三大法宝”，立马许愿吃素，出院放生2000条鱼，刚许下愿吃素，发现胃口大增，在医院最让我开心的事情就是吃饭。住了半个月回到家中，师兄给我寄来了心灵法门的佛学资料，就做起了功课。大概念了十来天时间去医院检查，血小板从十几上升到了27了，接着又念了一个月，第二次检查血小板从27上升到50了，第三次检查由50上升到了107，正常人100到300，已经正常了。
好开心，菩萨保佑！我当时眼泪都掉下来，虽然当时还有指标不正常，有些贫血，但是毕竟才闻到佛法几个月时间。后来我的血小板指标达到127。中间有段时间懈怠，两天念三张小房子还念不动，早上还爬不起来，迟迟不敢许愿给自己要经者小房子的数量，愿力不够，两次梦境考试不及格，导致三四个指标不正常，所以师兄们，要以我为戒，努力修心，念经，一门精进，永不退转！
现在我真诚地向观世音菩萨许愿：
第一，终生吃素；第二，终生不杀生；第三，终生随缘放生；第四，尊师重道，做观世音菩萨的千手千眼，永不退转；第五，终生学习《白话佛法》；第六，终生现身说法，弘扬佛法，广度有缘人；第七，2022年一年内念诵1000张小房子给自己要经者；第八，2022年一年内读《白话佛法》1000遍；第九，2022年一年内放生3000条鱼；第十，：2022年一年内共修精进学习《白话佛法》100场。
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩卢台长师父！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，恳请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，恳请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，恳请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背！不让师兄们背！
分享人：李同修
2022-06-06
您想改变命运吗？
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欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.
submitted by DrYangHF7 to CittaPureLand [link] [comments]
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
In 2021, I experienced 2 menstrual hemorrhages. On September 5, I went to the hospital to get the physical examination report card. The doctor told me my illness was very serious. The report card showed that my platelets were only 13×10^9/L (simplified to 13, as below), while the normal level is 100-300. The doctor told me to call my husband and ask him to take me to the city hospital. My husband didn't believe it. He thought something might be wrong with the test. Thus, I didn't travel to the city hospital that day.
In the restaurant the next day, when I sat down on the chair, I felt dizzy! I hurriedly let my husband take me to the hospital. According to various aspects of the examination, such as bone penetration and chest bone penetration, the condition is aplastic anemia. By then, I really didn't know how severe this illness is. I thought I did not eat things indiscriminately. I should be full of positive energy and not get sick. At the time, I did not know how stupid and ignorant I was. I had many ignorant habits, such as staying up late at night, bursting into anger, sexual misconduct, and abortions. If I didn't study Buddhism, I would never realize how heavy and deep my karmic obstacles are!
I had a gynecological problem for a long time, but I hadn't been to the hospital, and I was afraid to go to the hospital. It's more likely to happen if you are afraid of something happening. I regret not checking the body timely. Two years ago I dreamed of my deceased aunt and 2 children next to her. Pointing to my gynecology, my aunt said cancer. As I did not encounter Buddhism at that time, I did not understand that it was a great calamity. After waking up I felt scared. Then, I thought it was just a dream, and did not pay attention to it.
My karma broke 2 years late, as the dream predicted. I received 8-10 days of hospital treatment. We asked to be discharged because the cost was too high. I went to our county hospital. A doctor with glasses told me to have a bone marrow transplant. My father-in-law and father did not believe my disease was so serious, and neither did I. I was only a bit older than 30 years old, so I could not have such a severe disease. We travelled to a city hospital for treatment. The doctor told me that I would need a bone marrow transplant. That's when I realized this disease's seriousness!
Master Lu enlightened us to pay attention to the premonitory dream. Otherwise, it would be too late to regret. At that time, I had not encountered the Buddha's teachings, so I knew nothing about these principles. A bone marrow transplant was a bolt out of the blue for us! It cost hundreds of thousands of CNY. Our family was poor, so we couldn't afford it! During that time in the hospital, I was so scared that I couldn't eat or sleep. I also had chronic insomnia. One of the two cancer patients sleeping next to me was in pain every day and relied on painkillers to stop the pain, which was really agonizing. The other cancer patient was in her 70s and afraid of death. Without the Buddha's teachings, sentient beings can only follow their destiny. Although they do not want to die they have to die.
The hospital environment makes me not want to stay for a moment. They are all serious illnesses, such as cancer. I fear thinking about it. I requested discharge from the hospital after >10 days of treatment. I requested to take medication at home and follow a conservative approach to my health. So, I was discharged home.
The other morning, while I exercised at home, I suddenly felt weak. Just in time, my father-in-law arrived. I hurriedly asked him to take me to the clinic. I was too weak to move, so he carried me downstairs.
One night, I read a post on the Internet that a person with a blood disease did not undergo a bone marrow transplant. That person was treated in a specialized Chinese and Western medicine hospital and the low platelet level became normal. So, I contacted the doctor right away and registered for an appointment. My husband immediately booked a sleeper ticket to the hospital for the next day. The fear that I might not wake up after sleeping kept me from sleeping that night. After a few days of hospital treatment, platelets still didn't increase. This worries me a lot. What should I do? Until then, I realized that my disease could not be controlled by medication at all.
In the meantime, I was blessed by the Bodhisattva to see an online video of Master Lu reading a totem posted by a Buddhist practitioner. Since then, I have understood that sexual misconduct and abortion create heavy karma. My gratitude goes out to Bodhisattva's mercy for letting me encounter karma. So I promptly used the three Gems of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door to treat my disease. I made 2 vows: become a vegetarian for life, and release 2,000 fish after discharge from the hospital.
Just after making the vows, my appetite increased greatly. Actually, in the hospital, the happiest thing for me is to eat. Half a month later I returned home from the hospital. The Buddhist practitioner sent me Buddhist materials. I recited Buddhist scriptures daily. Approximately 10 days later, I returned to the hospital to check. My platelets rose from 13 to 27. A month later, my platelets increased from 27 to 50. During my third check, my platelets rose from 50 to 107. Normal platelet levels are 100-300, so my platelet level is back to normal.
I was so happy, and blessed by the Bodhisattva! I had tears in my eyes at that time. Although there were still abnormal indicators, such as anemia, after all, it had only been a few months since I encountered the Buddha's teachings. Later, my platelet index reached 127.
There was a period of slackness in my cultivation: I could not finish reciting 3 Little Houses within 2 days; did not want to get up in the morning; did not vow the number of Little Houses to my karmic creditors; and my vow was not powerful enough. These resulted in the two dream exams being flunked, leading to 3 or 4 indicators of abnormality.
Hence, my fellow Buddhist practitioners, please take me as a warning, and strive to cultivate our minds, recite Buddhist scriptures diligently, devote ourselves to one Buddhist practice, and never quit!
Now I sincerely make 10 vows to Guan Yin Bodhisattva:
- Be a vegetarian all my life;
- Do not kill beings all my life;
- Release life according to conditions all my life;
- Respect my Master and His Buddhist teachings, be one of the hands and eyes of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, and never quit;
- Study Buddhism in Plain Terms all my life;
- Convince sentient beings to practice Buddhism using my experiences, propagate Buddhism, and transform the right ones extensively;
- Recite 1,000 Little Houses to my karmic creditors in 2022;
- Read Buddhism in Plain Terms 1,000 chapters in 2022;
- Release 3,000 fish in 2022;
- Attend the group study of Buddhism in Plain Terms 100 sessions in 2022.
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu. I would appreciate critique and correction from my fellow practitioners!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Buddhist practitioner Li
Posted: 2022-06-06
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-31
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127——心灵法门网友反馈
心灵法门让患再生障碍性贫血的我，血小板从13恢复到127！
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
我在2021年经历两次经期大出血，9月5日那天去医院拿检查身体报告单，医生跟我说，我的病很严重，当时报告单显示我的血小板只有13，正常人为100到300，医生叫我打电话给我先生，让我老公陪我去市医院。当时先生不相信，以为检查出了问题，当天就没有去医院。
第二天上饭店吃饭，刚坐下来头发晕，不好了！我赶紧让先生打车上医院，医生看了单子就进行了各方面检查，骨穿，做胸部骨穿，检查结果出来确定是再生障碍性贫血，当时真不知道这个病的严重性，一直还认为自己没有乱吃东西，还觉得自己正能量满满，不会生病，当时真不知道自己有多愚痴无明，有很多的无明习气，熬夜，爆脾气，邪淫，打胎。不学佛不知道，学佛后才知道业障深重啊！
一直以来我妇科不好，也没有去医院，也很怕去医院，真是怕什么来什么。真是后悔没有及时检查身体，也正如在两年前一个晚上做梦，梦见我去世的阿姨和旁边两个小孩，阿姨针对我妇科说癌症，当时没有学佛不知道自己有劫，醒来也有些害怕，只是觉得只是一个梦而已，就没有重视。就这样两年后业障爆发，就这样在医院进行了八到十天治疗，我们要求出院了，因为费用太高，不得不出院.回到家后，去我们县医院，一个带眼镜的医生跟我说要做骨髓移植，公公和爸爸都不相信，我也不相信，这么年轻三十几岁不可能得这么严重的病。于是我们上市医院进行了治疗，医院跟我说确定要做骨髓移植，这时才了解这个病的严重性！
师父说一定要重视预示梦，不重视后悔来不及，当时没有闻到佛法哪里懂师父说的这些道理。做骨髓移植对我们来说晴天霹雳！要几十万，我们家穷，哪里有那么多钱！在医院那段时间吓得吃不下、睡不着，我也有着长期的失眠症，睡在旁边的两个癌症病人，其中一个每天身体疼痛，靠止痛药才能止痛，真是痛苦不堪，一个癌症病人七十多岁了，也害怕死亡。没有闻到佛法，只能随命运走，不想走也得走，只有闻到佛法才有办法。
在医院经过了十几天的治疗，我要求出院回家吃药，保守治疗，医院那个环境一刻也不想待，全是重症，癌症，想想都恐惧，于是我出院了回到家中。
有一天清晨我在锻炼身体，突然浑身无力，正好公公回来了，我赶紧叫他带我上诊所，当时连下楼都是公公背下楼的。一天晚上我在网上看到一位朋友血液病没有做骨髓移植，经过一家专科中西医结合医院让自己的低血小板恢复到正常了。于是，我赶紧按上面的联系方式联系到了医生，挂号预约，老公回来立马订了第二天的去医院的卧铺票。当天晚上我就没有睡，我怕我没有这个福气，怕睡着了醒不过来了。到了医院治疗了几天，血小板还是没有上来，这下可愁死我了，该怎么办？这个时候我才知道我的这个病靠药物根本控制不了的。
就在这时，菩萨保佑我，让我看到一位师兄在网上发的师父图腾的视频，看了才明白是自己邪淫、打胎孩子的业障病，菩萨慈悲保佑让业障深重的我闻到了佛法。于是我就运用心灵法门“三大法宝”，立马许愿吃素，出院放生2000条鱼，刚许下愿吃素，发现胃口大增，在医院最让我开心的事情就是吃饭。住了半个月回到家中，师兄给我寄来了心灵法门的佛学资料，就做起了功课。大概念了十来天时间去医院检查，血小板从十几上升到了27了，接着又念了一个月，第二次检查血小板从27上升到50了，第三次检查由50上升到了107，正常人100到300，已经正常了。
好开心，菩萨保佑！我当时眼泪都掉下来，虽然当时还有指标不正常，有些贫血，但是毕竟才闻到佛法几个月时间。后来我的血小板指标达到127。中间有段时间懈怠，两天念三张小房子还念不动，早上还爬不起来，迟迟不敢许愿给自己要经者小房子的数量，愿力不够，两次梦境考试不及格，导致三四个指标不正常，所以师兄们，要以我为戒，努力修心，念经，一门精进，永不退转！
现在我真诚地向观世音菩萨许愿：
第一，终生吃素；第二，终生不杀生；第三，终生随缘放生；第四，尊师重道，做观世音菩萨的千手千眼，永不退转；第五，终生学习《白话佛法》；第六，终生现身说法，弘扬佛法，广度有缘人；第七，2022年一年内念诵1000张小房子给自己要经者；第八，2022年一年内读《白话佛法》1000遍；第九，2022年一年内放生3000条鱼；第十，：2022年一年内共修精进学习《白话佛法》100场。
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩卢台长师父！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，恳请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，恳请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，恳请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背！不让师兄们背！
分享人：李同修
2022-06-06
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.
2024.05.16 13:01 ExcitingTrust888 Been playing this game for two weeks now and is at level 115, here are some tips and tricks that I learned along the way.
I struggled in my first week of playing but now it’s been quite a breeze on my second week. I just play the game for an hour or so and call it a day. So here are some things I learned that will be very helpful for beginners.
Firstly, definitely read the guide pinned here on the sub, it has all the important information that you need to know. Now here are my tips for you guys.
submitted by ExcitingTrust888 to ESCastles [link] [comments]
Firstly, definitely read the guide pinned here on the sub, it has all the important information that you need to know. Now here are my tips for you guys.
- Just keep breeding until you get epic/legendary children, then if you have them, use the growth potion on them so you can kickstart your empire. Just make sure they have good traits, cause it is possible to have an epic/legendary character with nothing but bad traits. You can always banish units out of your castle anyways. After you have a handful of epic/legendary adults, let the other children grow naturally so you have a steady stream of legendary children for each generation.
- To banish units beyond the Ruling of your King/Queen, just drop the adults off the cliff near the entrance of your castle on the left. You don’t need green units unless they have good traits. For the other colored units, you can let them leech of your food supply since they will give you packs when they die.
- Just remember the choices you make with the Rulings, they never change anyways. I‘ve probably seen all the options already. Also, the more races you have, the more dialog options are available. If you don’t have a specific race, some options won’t show their dialog option, like if the elves want a feast, if you only have wood elves, the high elf option won’t appear, same goes to social status. If you only have nobles, you can only choose to decline or to please the nobles instead.
- When something bad happens to your castle, like it gets haunted or a plague exists, the easiest way to deal with it is to choose the ”we will hunt x creatures” option. Just go to the map, choose the lowest level map with the said creatures in it, then just kill them until you meet the required number of kills. This is only easy when you are at a higher level already, if you are starting, the other choices are easier.
- If you are tired of waiting for the banquet or you don’t want to waste potions, if you have a weapon with a lifesteal effect that restores health on hit, just equip it on your low HP character, let them do a low level run with someone else, and then they will heal faster than sitting at the banquet.
- Items and gold still drop on locations even if you completed their star requirements already. The level of the item drops depend on what area you are on (1-25 drop iron items, 26-50 steel, and so on). So if you want to farm for gear and gold, just go to the lowest level location on the area, put the game on 2x speed and just let your fighters do their thing.
- You don’t need to get 3 stars to get to the next area, just get the required number of stars and you can move on to the next area, and come back to the other challenges later when you have better gear.
- The fastest way to level up is to finish your daily quest and to upgrade your workstations. Doing tip #6 is good too especially if you have the blessing for additional gold and exp.
- It is easier to beat the dragon with just one mage or swordsman with no shield than with multiple fighters. Just move up and down to avoid his attacks and keep spamming your skill. Other weapons are bad since their skill animations are slow.
- Just collect the gems, and everytime a Ruling has gems and arcane potions as options, take them. Then buy the workstations or the Legendary Pack x5. Legendary packs give you a possibility for Legendary units with good equipments, great weapons with on-hit effects, and Workstations give you more resources. what resources are important is up to you, but I would say either the furnace or the loom is your first priority. Other stuff in the market is not worth it atm. You can buy some decorations because of their bonuses, but your priority is the workstations and legendary packs.
- Lastly name your children so you know who’s related to who because they can’t breed if they are related.
- You will always have two rulings to start with when you open the game, check them first before collecting resources so you don’t make your subjects hungry or out of oil because a Ruling might use them up and you have to wait for it to refill.
2024.05.16 12:59 LadderConfident8896 Was my old house haunted? And by what? Please give me your thoughts, I can’t get it out of my head!
Okay gonna be a long one! Sorry!
So back in 2014, my family and I (me, mum, stepdad, 2 stepbrothers), moved into this big old house as a blended family. It was already the ‘perfect horror movie house’, on the edge of town, opposite a cemetery, 200/300years old roughly and it backed onto an abandoned NHS hospital building (we’re in the UK). Anyway, we lived there for about 4 years until we moved to our current house (only a 2 minute walk away).
But ever since we lived there, I cannot stop thinking about all the weird shit that went down, I’ve even gone as far as contacting local archives etc for information on the property.
I guess I’m just asking if anybody has any guesses of wtf was going on there? It was absolutely horrendous, and I still have to drive past it literally everyday! I’ll try and do some vague bullet points of the general instances:
1.) Our first day/night in the house. Our garden as I said, backed onto an abandoned/ ruined hospital property with grounds etc. Only our garden fence separated this from us. The first afternoon/evening that we lived in the house, my brothers and I created a makeshift football goal out of logs balanced against a tree at the bottom of the hospital garden, we messed around for a bit, got bored and went off amongst the hospital buildings to explore. We were only gone for less than an hour, but when we came to go home and walked past our goal posts, somebody had gathered all the sticks and logs, and placed them into these super neat and accurate piles, sounds stupid but there’s no way the logs could’ve ‘fallen’ that way. We were so freaked out that our parents ended up telling us it was them who did it, but they admitted years after that it wasn’t them and they were equally freaked out.
2.) The plant! Okay so next, my mum and stepdad were gifted a plant when they got married. One day they were kinda pissed off at me and my brothers and said ‘Stop watering that plant, it doesn’t require regular watering and you’ll kill it’. My brothers and I were fairly young and frankly, didn’t even know what plant they were talking about. Few days passed and our parents got really annoyed, they told us the plant was dying and we really had to stop it. It even went as far as them moving and hiding this plant in different locations, nothing worked, and the plant died. My brothers both swear to god even now that it wasn’t them- I truly believe it wasn’t.
3.) My brother walking past my mum.. okay so the next one, my mum was stood in my bedroom doorway chatting to me, and she saw my younger brothe a figure, walk from his room at the end of the hall, into the bathroom. All cool? Except then she went downstairs and my 2 brothers and stepdad were all sat on the sofa watching football together. She doesn’t believe in any paranormal stuff at all, but she was so so freaked out by this.
4)General constant stuff! So as well as key moments like this (there are waaaay too many to list in one post) we had our two dogs, super well behaved, but would act WEIRD in this one spot in the garden, they’d snarl and then like cry and whine and lie down as though someone was screaming at them? Every damn night! I also had a wooden sign on the back of my bedroom door, we had no windows at all in the upstairs hall at all (old house), so no way for a draft, but every night after midnight, the sign would bang against my door as though someone was knocking??
Idk! Sorry for the long post and I have loads to add if anybody is interested!
Someone pls answer though, I’m always thinking about it all!
submitted by LadderConfident8896 to Ghosts [link] [comments]
So back in 2014, my family and I (me, mum, stepdad, 2 stepbrothers), moved into this big old house as a blended family. It was already the ‘perfect horror movie house’, on the edge of town, opposite a cemetery, 200/300years old roughly and it backed onto an abandoned NHS hospital building (we’re in the UK). Anyway, we lived there for about 4 years until we moved to our current house (only a 2 minute walk away).
But ever since we lived there, I cannot stop thinking about all the weird shit that went down, I’ve even gone as far as contacting local archives etc for information on the property.
I guess I’m just asking if anybody has any guesses of wtf was going on there? It was absolutely horrendous, and I still have to drive past it literally everyday! I’ll try and do some vague bullet points of the general instances:
1.) Our first day/night in the house. Our garden as I said, backed onto an abandoned/ ruined hospital property with grounds etc. Only our garden fence separated this from us. The first afternoon/evening that we lived in the house, my brothers and I created a makeshift football goal out of logs balanced against a tree at the bottom of the hospital garden, we messed around for a bit, got bored and went off amongst the hospital buildings to explore. We were only gone for less than an hour, but when we came to go home and walked past our goal posts, somebody had gathered all the sticks and logs, and placed them into these super neat and accurate piles, sounds stupid but there’s no way the logs could’ve ‘fallen’ that way. We were so freaked out that our parents ended up telling us it was them who did it, but they admitted years after that it wasn’t them and they were equally freaked out.
2.) The plant! Okay so next, my mum and stepdad were gifted a plant when they got married. One day they were kinda pissed off at me and my brothers and said ‘Stop watering that plant, it doesn’t require regular watering and you’ll kill it’. My brothers and I were fairly young and frankly, didn’t even know what plant they were talking about. Few days passed and our parents got really annoyed, they told us the plant was dying and we really had to stop it. It even went as far as them moving and hiding this plant in different locations, nothing worked, and the plant died. My brothers both swear to god even now that it wasn’t them- I truly believe it wasn’t.
3.) My brother walking past my mum.. okay so the next one, my mum was stood in my bedroom doorway chatting to me, and she saw my younger brothe a figure, walk from his room at the end of the hall, into the bathroom. All cool? Except then she went downstairs and my 2 brothers and stepdad were all sat on the sofa watching football together. She doesn’t believe in any paranormal stuff at all, but she was so so freaked out by this.
4)General constant stuff! So as well as key moments like this (there are waaaay too many to list in one post) we had our two dogs, super well behaved, but would act WEIRD in this one spot in the garden, they’d snarl and then like cry and whine and lie down as though someone was screaming at them? Every damn night! I also had a wooden sign on the back of my bedroom door, we had no windows at all in the upstairs hall at all (old house), so no way for a draft, but every night after midnight, the sign would bang against my door as though someone was knocking??
Idk! Sorry for the long post and I have loads to add if anybody is interested!
Someone pls answer though, I’m always thinking about it all!
2024.05.16 12:43 LadderConfident8896 Was my old house haunted? And by what? Please give me your thoughts, I can’t get it out of my head!
Okay gonna be a long one! Sorry!
So back in 2014, my family and I (me, mum, stepdad, 2 stepbrothers), moved into this big old house as a blended family. It was already the ‘perfect horror movie house’, on the edge of town, opposite a cemetery, 200/300years old roughly and it backed onto an abandoned NHS hospital building (we’re in the UK). Anyway, we lived there for about 4 years until we moved to our current house (only a 2 minute walk away).
But ever since we lived there, I cannot stop thinking about all the weird shit that went down, I’ve even gone as far as contacting local archives etc for information on the property.
I guess I’m just asking if anybody has any guesses of wtf was going on there? It was absolutely horrendous, and I still have to drive past it literally everyday! I’ll try and do some vague bullet points of the general instances:
1.) Our first day/night in the house. Our garden as I said, backed onto an abandoned/ ruined hospital property with grounds etc. Only our garden fence separated this from us. The first afternoon/evening that we lived in the house, my brothers and I created a makeshift football goal out of logs balanced against a tree at the bottom of the hospital garden, we messed around for a bit, got bored and went off amongst the hospital buildings to explore. We were only gone for less than an hour, but when we came to go home and walked past our goal posts, somebody had gathered all the sticks and logs, and placed them into these super neat and accurate piles, sounds stupid but there’s no way the logs could’ve ‘fallen’ that way. We were so freaked out that our parents ended up telling us it was them who did it, but they admitted years after that it wasn’t them and they were equally freaked out.
2.) The plant! Okay so next, my mum and stepdad were gifted a plant when they got married. One day they were kinda pissed off at me and my brothers and said ‘Stop watering that plant, it doesn’t require regular watering and you’ll kill it’. My brothers and I were fairly young and frankly, didn’t even know what plant they were talking about. Few days passed and our parents got really annoyed, they told us the plant was dying and we really had to stop it. It even went as far as them moving and hiding this plant in different locations, nothing worked, and the plant died. My brothers both swear to god even now that it wasn’t them- I truly believe it wasn’t.
3.) My brother walking past my mum.. okay so the next one, my mum was stood in my bedroom doorway chatting to me, and she saw my younger brothe a figure, walk from his room at the end of the hall, into the bathroom. All cool? Except then she went downstairs and my 2 brothers and stepdad were all sat on the sofa watching football together. She doesn’t believe in any paranormal stuff at all, but she was so so freaked out by this.
4)General constant stuff! So as well as key moments like this (there are waaaay too many to list in one post) we had our two dogs, super well behaved, but would act WEIRD in this one spot in the garden, they’d snarl and then like cry and whine and lie down as though someone was screaming at them? Every damn night! I also had a wooden sign on the back of my bedroom door, we had no windows at all in the upstairs hall at all (old house), so no way for a draft, but every night after midnight, the sign would bang against my door as though someone was knocking??
Idk! Sorry for the long post and I have loads to add if anybody is interested!
Someone pls answer though, I’m always thinking about it all!
submitted by LadderConfident8896 to Paranormal [link] [comments]
So back in 2014, my family and I (me, mum, stepdad, 2 stepbrothers), moved into this big old house as a blended family. It was already the ‘perfect horror movie house’, on the edge of town, opposite a cemetery, 200/300years old roughly and it backed onto an abandoned NHS hospital building (we’re in the UK). Anyway, we lived there for about 4 years until we moved to our current house (only a 2 minute walk away).
But ever since we lived there, I cannot stop thinking about all the weird shit that went down, I’ve even gone as far as contacting local archives etc for information on the property.
I guess I’m just asking if anybody has any guesses of wtf was going on there? It was absolutely horrendous, and I still have to drive past it literally everyday! I’ll try and do some vague bullet points of the general instances:
1.) Our first day/night in the house. Our garden as I said, backed onto an abandoned/ ruined hospital property with grounds etc. Only our garden fence separated this from us. The first afternoon/evening that we lived in the house, my brothers and I created a makeshift football goal out of logs balanced against a tree at the bottom of the hospital garden, we messed around for a bit, got bored and went off amongst the hospital buildings to explore. We were only gone for less than an hour, but when we came to go home and walked past our goal posts, somebody had gathered all the sticks and logs, and placed them into these super neat and accurate piles, sounds stupid but there’s no way the logs could’ve ‘fallen’ that way. We were so freaked out that our parents ended up telling us it was them who did it, but they admitted years after that it wasn’t them and they were equally freaked out.
2.) The plant! Okay so next, my mum and stepdad were gifted a plant when they got married. One day they were kinda pissed off at me and my brothers and said ‘Stop watering that plant, it doesn’t require regular watering and you’ll kill it’. My brothers and I were fairly young and frankly, didn’t even know what plant they were talking about. Few days passed and our parents got really annoyed, they told us the plant was dying and we really had to stop it. It even went as far as them moving and hiding this plant in different locations, nothing worked, and the plant died. My brothers both swear to god even now that it wasn’t them- I truly believe it wasn’t.
3.) My brother walking past my mum.. okay so the next one, my mum was stood in my bedroom doorway chatting to me, and she saw my younger brothe a figure, walk from his room at the end of the hall, into the bathroom. All cool? Except then she went downstairs and my 2 brothers and stepdad were all sat on the sofa watching football together. She doesn’t believe in any paranormal stuff at all, but she was so so freaked out by this.
4)General constant stuff! So as well as key moments like this (there are waaaay too many to list in one post) we had our two dogs, super well behaved, but would act WEIRD in this one spot in the garden, they’d snarl and then like cry and whine and lie down as though someone was screaming at them? Every damn night! I also had a wooden sign on the back of my bedroom door, we had no windows at all in the upstairs hall at all (old house), so no way for a draft, but every night after midnight, the sign would bang against my door as though someone was knocking??
Idk! Sorry for the long post and I have loads to add if anybody is interested!
Someone pls answer though, I’m always thinking about it all!
2024.05.16 12:43 Viral-conclusionz8 racism and how we are doubtful while dealing with other heritages and cultures
Racism and cultural doubtfulness often stem from a combination of historical prejudices, lack of exposure, and misunderstandings about other heritages and cultures. Addressing these issues requires both individual and collective efforts to foster understanding, empathy, and respect. Here’s how we can navigate and improve our interactions with diverse heritages and cultures:
Aligned by to a fake identity you have built to people you don't know or close even and encounter all the resentment forms at all levels
Living behind a facade or a fake identity can be emotionally exhausting and ultimately damaging to personal well-being and relationships. When this facade begins to crumble or when individuals encounter resentment from others as a result, the effects can be profound. Here’s a guide to addressing this situation, rebuilding authenticity, and dealing with resentment at all levels:
submitted by Viral-conclusionz8 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
Understanding Racism and Cultural Doubt
Roots of Racism
- Historical Context: Racism is deeply rooted in history, often perpetuated by colonialism, slavery, and segregation, leading to systemic inequalities.
- Stereotypes and Prejudices: Stereotypes and prejudices are ingrained beliefs that simplify and generalize about a group of people, often negatively.
Cultural Doubtfulness
- Fear of the Unknown: Lack of exposure to different cultures can lead to fear or doubt when encountering unfamiliar customs or behaviors.
- Miscommunication: Cultural differences in communication styles, body language, and social norms can lead to misunderstandings and mistrust.
Strategies for Overcoming Racism and Cultural Doubt
Education and Awareness
- Learn About Other Cultures: Actively seek out information about different cultures through reading, attending cultural events, and engaging with diverse media.
- Understand Historical Contexts: Study the history of racism and the experiences of marginalized groups to understand the systemic nature of discrimination.
Building Empathy and Understanding
- Engage in Dialogue: Have open, respectful conversations with people from different backgrounds to learn about their experiences and perspectives.
- Practice Active Listening: Listen with the intent to understand rather than respond. This helps in appreciating different viewpoints and reducing biases.
Challenging Stereotypes
- Question Assumptions: Reflect on your own beliefs and biases. Challenge stereotypes by seeking evidence and considering individual differences within cultural groups.
- Highlight Positive Examples: Promote and celebrate positive stories and contributions from diverse cultures to counteract negative stereotypes.
Promoting Inclusivity
- Inclusive Language: Use language that respects and acknowledges diversity. Avoid terms that are derogatory or perpetuate stereotypes.
- Diverse Representation: Support and advocate for the representation of diverse cultures in media, workplaces, and educational materials.
Practical Actions for Individuals
- Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your own biases and work towards becoming more open-minded and accepting.
- Cultural Exchange: Participate in cultural exchange programs or activities that promote mutual understanding and respect.
- Support Diversity: Support businesses, artists, and leaders from diverse backgrounds. This helps in promoting economic and social inclusion.
- Educate Others: Share your knowledge and experiences about different cultures with friends, family, and community members to spread awareness.
Practical Actions for Organizations
- Diversity Training: Implement regular diversity and inclusion training for employees to educate them about different cultures and combat racism.
- Inclusive Policies: Develop and enforce policies that promote equality and protect against discrimination in the workplace.
- Cultural Celebrations: Celebrate cultural heritage days and encourage employees to share their traditions and customs.
- Support Networks: Create support networks and affinity groups for employees from diverse backgrounds to share their experiences and support one another.
Creating a Culture of Respect
- Empathy Building: Encourage empathy by sharing personal stories and experiences within the community or organization.
- Collaborative Projects: Promote collaborative projects that require teamwork and cooperation among people from diverse backgrounds.
- Open Forums: Organize open forums and discussion groups where people can express their concerns and ideas about racism and cultural doubtfulness.
Conclusion
Addressing racism and cultural doubtfulness requires a commitment to continuous learning, open dialogue, and proactive efforts to foster inclusivity and respect. By understanding the roots of these issues and actively working to overcome them, we can build a more equitable and harmonious society where diversity is celebrated and everyone feels valued.Aligned by to a fake identity you have built to people you don't know or close even and encounter all the resentment forms at all levels
Living behind a facade or a fake identity can be emotionally exhausting and ultimately damaging to personal well-being and relationships. When this facade begins to crumble or when individuals encounter resentment from others as a result, the effects can be profound. Here’s a guide to addressing this situation, rebuilding authenticity, and dealing with resentment at all levels:
1. Self-Reflection and Acceptance
Understand Your Reasons
- Identify Motivations: Reflect on why you felt the need to build a fake identity. Common reasons might include fear of rejection, a desire for approval, or past traumas.
- Acknowledge Feelings: Recognize and accept the feelings of guilt, shame, or fear that might be associated with living a false identity.
Commit to Authenticity
- Value Authenticity: Understand the importance of being true to yourself. Authenticity leads to more genuine relationships and personal fulfillment.
- Set Intentions: Decide to live more authentically moving forward. This includes being honest about your feelings, beliefs, and identity.
2. Gradual Revelation and Honest Communication
Start Small
- Begin with Close Ones: Start by being honest with those you trust the most. Explain why you felt the need to create a fake identity and express your desire to be more authentic.
- Be Patient: Understand that revealing your true self is a process. Take gradual steps to dismantle the facade.
Honest Communication
- Apologize Sincerely: If your actions have hurt others, offer a sincere apology. Acknowledge the impact of your fake identity on your relationships.
- Explain Without Justifying: Explain your motivations without making excuses. Help others understand your perspective and the pressures you faced.
3. Handling Resentment
Empathy and Understanding
- Listen Actively: Allow others to express their feelings and frustrations. Listen without interrupting or defending yourself.
- Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validate their emotions. Understanding that their resentment may stem from feelings of betrayal or hurt is crucial.
Rebuilding Trust
- Consistent Behavior: Show through your actions that you are committed to being authentic. Consistency over time helps rebuild trust.
- Transparency: Be transparent in your interactions. Keep open lines of communication and share your thoughts and feelings honestly.
4. Self-Care and Support
Seek Professional Help
- Therapy or Counseling: Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support as you navigate this complex emotional terrain.
- Support Groups: Join support groups where you can share your experiences and learn from others who have faced similar challenges.
Self-Care Practices
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Engage in mindfulness practices to stay grounded and connected to your true self.
- Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep to support your mental and emotional health.
5. Building Authentic Relationships
New Connections
- Meet New People: Join groups or communities that align with your true interests and values. Building new relationships based on authenticity can be refreshing and fulfilling.
- Shared Activities: Engage in activities and hobbies that genuinely interest you. This will help attract like-minded individuals and foster genuine connections.
Reinforcing Authenticity
- Set Boundaries: Establish and maintain boundaries that support your well-being and authenticity. Avoid situations or relationships that pressure you to revert to inauthentic behavior.
- Celebrate Authenticity: Celebrate the moments when you express your true self. Recognize and reward yourself for being authentic.
Conclusion
Reclaiming your authentic self after living behind a fake identity involves deep self-reflection, honest communication, and consistent efforts to rebuild trust and relationships. By understanding the reasons behind your facade and committing to authenticity, you can overcome resentment and foster more genuine, fulfilling connections. Seeking support and practicing self-care are crucial steps in this transformative journey, ultimately leading to a more honest and satisfying life.2024.05.16 11:57 Accomplished-Mine178 Ebony Prince vs Alvarez
Good day everyone,
A quick thought:
I have commented elsewhere in this subreddit that it is important that we do not slip into an infantilisation of Mr. Alvarez. Indeed, it is imperative that we remember that this man went to a prestigious university, Columbia Journalism School has high vetting process for their students and we should therefore hold this man’s journalism accountable. Just as he, himself, stated that he holds politicians and major entities to account. It is highly patronising to run off with the, “omg he’s disabled! Let’s be nice” impulse. Yes, he *is* disabled, and we should NOT contact the man, but that article was terribly written and once again, I’ve said that it was written like an affidavit. To start an article with a staff writer and close with an “opinion” piece is a strange tactic and none of whatever was said in that article has had any revelatory effect, although the man himself captioned the link to the article with a bomb.
I did tell myself that I would move away from this, but I take great exception to this. It read very much like, “nothing to see here!!”, well, no sir, you went to a school that hands out the Pulitzer! Please take your readers seriously, you cannot in one instance tell us that people downplay your journalistic standards *because* of your disability, and in the next, play on our sensitivities around said disability to sidestep accountability.
The headline, itself was an awful sensationalist read, and then to refuse to acknowledge valid questions by scolding us about “misinformation”, whilst providing very little information yourself, is a terrible way to have opened an article. Especially with a headline like that!
No no no, I’m not paranoid and I’m not going after the man, I’m just a bit difficult. I have no issues with the man but I don’t appreciate being undermined by a newspaper. If your writer, Mr. Alvarez graduated from one of the best universities in the world, possibly the most prestigious as far as journalism is concerned, then I would’ve expected better.
Ebony Prince, we can all admit is myopic in whatever his project is in this entire situation. No one is denying that. His myopia has been clear from the start, I’m not interested in his motivations. Neither am I interested in his psychology nor his pathology. I am interested in *evidence*. I have said I don’t care who he is, I’m not engrossed by his evasiveness, I don’t to know *why* he is doing this. Because, I don’t believe I would garner much from this, I need to know the actions of the people involved and since he has video footage, that’s all I care about. I’m tired of the “he’s only tying to sell footage” then moving onto, “he’s only trying to sell jewellery”, then “he only wanted to sell the meet the grahams cover items because he can’t sell the jewellery”, well ultimately, you’re going to spend a long time figuring that out, since his strategy is getting tweaked as he goes and his myopia won’t let him put all his cards on the table. Who cares if this is his little marketing scheme to ultimately sell the items? We’re only on his page to get evidence. A man’s motivations are a difficult matter to resolve until a conclusion of the events wherein we can ascertain whether he is pleased or displeased with the outcome.
All I know is, I don’t believe Alvarez and I respect him enough to take him seriously as he said he wanted us to in that “article” of his. He is not a child, he is an adult with a strong academic background, let’s not patronise the man. No need to contact nor stalk him either! Ebony Prince though, he seems like he’s dying for attention.
Saying this to say, let’s try not to downplay Alvarez as a journalist, he should be treated like any other reporter.
No TLDR, I didn’t know I would go on for so long, save me the “bro just yapping” bs, I’m an academic, I go on a bit.
submitted by Accomplished-Mine178 to DarkKenny [link] [comments]
A quick thought:
I have commented elsewhere in this subreddit that it is important that we do not slip into an infantilisation of Mr. Alvarez. Indeed, it is imperative that we remember that this man went to a prestigious university, Columbia Journalism School has high vetting process for their students and we should therefore hold this man’s journalism accountable. Just as he, himself, stated that he holds politicians and major entities to account. It is highly patronising to run off with the, “omg he’s disabled! Let’s be nice” impulse. Yes, he *is* disabled, and we should NOT contact the man, but that article was terribly written and once again, I’ve said that it was written like an affidavit. To start an article with a staff writer and close with an “opinion” piece is a strange tactic and none of whatever was said in that article has had any revelatory effect, although the man himself captioned the link to the article with a bomb.
I did tell myself that I would move away from this, but I take great exception to this. It read very much like, “nothing to see here!!”, well, no sir, you went to a school that hands out the Pulitzer! Please take your readers seriously, you cannot in one instance tell us that people downplay your journalistic standards *because* of your disability, and in the next, play on our sensitivities around said disability to sidestep accountability.
The headline, itself was an awful sensationalist read, and then to refuse to acknowledge valid questions by scolding us about “misinformation”, whilst providing very little information yourself, is a terrible way to have opened an article. Especially with a headline like that!
No no no, I’m not paranoid and I’m not going after the man, I’m just a bit difficult. I have no issues with the man but I don’t appreciate being undermined by a newspaper. If your writer, Mr. Alvarez graduated from one of the best universities in the world, possibly the most prestigious as far as journalism is concerned, then I would’ve expected better.
Ebony Prince, we can all admit is myopic in whatever his project is in this entire situation. No one is denying that. His myopia has been clear from the start, I’m not interested in his motivations. Neither am I interested in his psychology nor his pathology. I am interested in *evidence*. I have said I don’t care who he is, I’m not engrossed by his evasiveness, I don’t to know *why* he is doing this. Because, I don’t believe I would garner much from this, I need to know the actions of the people involved and since he has video footage, that’s all I care about. I’m tired of the “he’s only tying to sell footage” then moving onto, “he’s only trying to sell jewellery”, then “he only wanted to sell the meet the grahams cover items because he can’t sell the jewellery”, well ultimately, you’re going to spend a long time figuring that out, since his strategy is getting tweaked as he goes and his myopia won’t let him put all his cards on the table. Who cares if this is his little marketing scheme to ultimately sell the items? We’re only on his page to get evidence. A man’s motivations are a difficult matter to resolve until a conclusion of the events wherein we can ascertain whether he is pleased or displeased with the outcome.
All I know is, I don’t believe Alvarez and I respect him enough to take him seriously as he said he wanted us to in that “article” of his. He is not a child, he is an adult with a strong academic background, let’s not patronise the man. No need to contact nor stalk him either! Ebony Prince though, he seems like he’s dying for attention.
Saying this to say, let’s try not to downplay Alvarez as a journalist, he should be treated like any other reporter.
No TLDR, I didn’t know I would go on for so long, save me the “bro just yapping” bs, I’m an academic, I go on a bit.
2024.05.16 11:52 Yurii_S_Kh Pascha; a Reminiscence from the GULAG
 | Should at any time we feel ourselves to be alone, or for the secular world to be so overwhelming and powerful as to render spiritual life redundant, we can reflect on the difficulties of our predecessors and be inspired by their cheerfulness and joy in the face of tremendous privations. submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] As mentioned before, the mid 1920’s was a period of ferocious attacks upon the Church by the Bolsheviks, both clergy and laity. Many of the faithful were executed or imprisoned in the Gulag for extended periods on nonsensical charges. The Solovetsky Island concentration camp (Solovki for short), formerly a remote monastery on an island in the White Sea region of Russia’s far north, was reserved for particularly “recalcitrant” prisoners, in particular priests from throughout the Soviet Union, including the newly annexed Georgian Soviet Socialist Republic. Conditions were brutal and fatalities commonplace. https://preview.redd.it/lps1o3d7gr0d1.png?width=615&format=png&auto=webp&s=243036d04c954daffcdf83c146bb3184b532d25d This letter from Bishop Maxim of Serpukhov, a Russian priest, is a moving testament to the resilience and cheerfulness of interned clergy during tremendous oppression. The Paschal context of his letter is poignant for us this week. At Solovki we had several secret Catacomb “churches,” but our “favorites” were two: the “Cathedral Church” of the Holy Trinity, and the church of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. The first was a small clearing in the midst of a dense forest in the direction of the “Savvaty” Assignment Area. The dome of this church was the sky, The wails were the birch forest. The church of St. Nicholas was located in the deep forest towards the “Muksolm” Assignment Area, It was a thicket naturally formed by seven large spruces. Most frequently the secret services were conducted only in the summer, on great feasts and, with special solemnity, on the Day of Pentecost. But sometimes, depending on circumstances, doubly secret services were celebrated also in other places. Thus, for example, on Great Thursday of 1929, the service of the reading of the Twelve Gospels was celebrated in our physicians’ cell in the 10th Company, Vladika Victor and Fr. Nicholas came to us as if for disinfection. Then, catacomb style, they served the church service with the door bolted. On Great Friday an order was read in all Companies informing that for the next three days no one would be allowed to leave the Companies after 8 p.m. save in exceptional circumstances and by special written permit of the Camp Commandant. At 7 p.m. on Friday, when we physicians had just returned to our cells after a 12-hour workday, Fr. Nicholas came to us and told us that a Plashchanitsa (burial shroud with the image of Christ) the size of one’s palm had been painted by the artist R. The service-the rite of burial–was to be held and would begin in an hour. “Where?” Vladika Maxim asked. “In the great box for drying fish which is closest to the forest, next to Camp N. The password: three knocks and then two. It’s better to come one at a time.” In half an hour Vladika Maxim and I left our Company and started out for the indicated “address.” Twice patrols asked for our permits. We, as physicians, had them. But what about the others?–Vladika Victor, Vladika Ilarion, Vladika Nektary, and Fr. Nicholas? Vladika Victor worked as-a bookkeeper in the rope factory. Vladika Nektary was a fisherman; and the others weaved nets. Here was the edge of the forest. Here was the box, about nine yards long, without windows, the door scarcely noticeable. Light twilight, the sky covered with dark clouds. We knock three times and then twice. Fr. Nicholas opens. Vladika Victor and Vladika Ilarion are already here… In a few minutes Vladika Nektary also comes. The interior of the box has been converted into a church. On the floor, on the wails, spruce branches. Several candles flickering. Small paper icons. The small Plashanitsa is buried in green branches. Ten people have come to pray. Later another four or five come, of whom two are monks. The service begins, in a whisper. It seemed that we had no bodies, but were only souls. Nothing distracted or interfered with prayer… I don’t remember how we went “home,” i.e., to our Companies. The Lord covered us! The bright service of Pascha was assigned to our physicians’ cell. Towards midnight under various urgent pretexts arranged by the section, without any kind of written permit, all who intended to come gathered, about fifteen people in all. After the Matins and Liturgy, we sat down and broke the fast. On the table were Paschal cake and cheese, colored eggs, cold dishes, wine (liquid yeast with cranberry extract and sugar). About three o’clock we parted. Control rounds of our Company were made by the Camp Commandant before and after the services, at 11 p.m. and 4 a.m. Finding us four physicians headed by Vladika Maxim, on his last round, the Commandant said: “What doctors, you’re not sleeping?” And immediately he added: “Such a night…and one doesn’t want to sleep!” And he left. “Lord Jesus Christ! We thank Thee for the miracle of Thy mercy and power,” pronounced Vladika Maxim movingly, expressing our common feelings. The white night of Solovki was nearing its end. The delicate, rose-colored Paschal morning of Solovki, the sun playing for joy, greeted the monastery-concentration camp, converting it into the invisible city of Kitezh and filling our free Souls with a quiet, unearthly joy. Source: georgianorthodoxchurch.wordpress.com |
2024.05.16 11:41 Sweet-Count2557 Best Pizza in Belmont Ma
 | Best Pizza in Belmont Ma As pizza enthusiasts, we embarked on a mouthwatering journey to uncover the best pizza in Belmont, Massachusetts.With a plethora of pizzerias offering unique flavors and crusts, we found ourselves faced with a delectable challenge.From time-honored family-owned spots to globally recognized chains, Belmont boasts a vibrant pizza scene that caters to every palate.Our adventure led us to pizzerias using high-quality ingredients for authentic Italian flavors, as well as those experimenting with creative toppings and innovative combinations.Join us as we explore the best pizza Belmont has to offer.Key TakeawaysBelmont, MA has a diverse range of pizzerias offering a variety of pizzas with different crusts, toppings, and flavors.Many of the pizza places in Belmont are family-owned and have been in business for decades, ensuring high-quality ingredients and authentic Italian flavors.There are options for those with dietary restrictions, as some pizzerias offer gluten-free and vegan pizzas.Each pizza place in Belmont has its own unique atmosphere and dining experience, providing customers with a variety of options.Posto Pizza JointWe've heard that Posto Pizza Joint is known for their wood-fired pizzas and they offer a variety of toppings and flavors to choose from. Located in Belmont, Massachusetts, this popular pizza joint has become a go-to spot for pizza lovers in the area. When it comes to their signature pizza flavors, Posto doesn't disappoint. From classic Margherita topped with fresh basil and mozzarella to unique creations like the Fig Jam with prosciutto and gorgonzola, there's something for everyone's palate. Each pizza is made with care, using high-quality ingredients and cooked to perfection in their wood-fired oven, giving it that distinct smoky flavor.Not only does Posto Pizza Joint offer delicious pizzas, but they also prioritize safety. The staff ensures that the ingredients are handled with care and follow strict hygiene practices in the kitchen. The restaurant is clean and well-maintained, providing a comfortable dining experience for all customers. With their wide range of pizza options and commitment to safety, Posto Pizza Joint is a great choice for a satisfying and worry-free meal.Now, let's move on to another popular pizza spot in Belmont, Max & Leo's Pizza.Max & Leos PizzaMax & Leos Pizza is a family-owned and operated pizzeria in Belmont, MA. They're known for their signature pizza flavors that are made with authentic Italian ingredients.With a welcoming atmosphere and a commitment to quality, Max & Leos Pizza is a must-try for pizza lovers in Belmont.Signature Pizza FlavorsSome of the signature pizza flavors at Max & Leo's Pizza include the Margherita Pizza and the BBQ Chicken Pizza.The Margherita Pizza is a classic Italian favorite, topped with fresh mozzarella cheese, juicy tomatoes, and fragrant basil leaves. It's a simple yet delicious option for those who appreciate traditional flavors.On the other hand, the BBQ Chicken Pizza offers a unique twist with a mix of Greek-Italian influences. It features tender grilled chicken, tangy barbecue sauce, melted cheese, and a sprinkle of red onions. The combination of sweet and savory flavors creates a mouthwatering experience.Both pizzas are made with high-quality ingredients and cooked to perfection in a safe and clean environment.Family-Owned and OperatedThere are three family-owned and operated pizzerias in Belmont, and each one offers a unique and authentic dining experience. These local businesses provide a sense of community and pride in their craft that can't be replicated by chain pizzerias.By supporting these family-owned establishments, you not only get to enjoy delicious pizza but also contribute to the local economy. These pizzerias use high-quality ingredients, often sourced locally, ensuring the freshest and most flavorful pizzas. Moreover, the owners are deeply invested in the community, often participating in local events and supporting other local businesses.When you choose a family-owned pizzeria, you aren't only getting a great meal but also supporting the livelihoods of your neighbors. So next time you're craving pizza, consider trying one of Belmont's family-owned pizzerias for a truly authentic and rewarding experience.Authentic Italian IngredientsWe absolutely love the authentic Italian ingredients used at Max & Leos Pizza, which give their pizzas a truly delicious and traditional flavor.When it comes to pizza, there's often a debate between authentic and fusion styles. Authentic Italian pizza focuses on simplicity and high-quality ingredients, while fusion pizza incorporates unique flavors and toppings from various cuisines.At Max & Leos Pizza, they prioritize using local ingredients to maintain the authenticity of their pizzas. Local ingredients not only support the local economy but also ensure freshness and quality. By using locally sourced ingredients, Max & Leos Pizza is able to create pizzas that aren't only delicious but also safe for consumption.Fiorellas ExpressFiorellas Express is one of the best pizza places in Belmont, offering a variety of delicious options with fresh ingredients and a convenient location. They're known for their specialty pizzas, which cater to a wide range of dietary preferences, including vegan and gluten-free options. With their commitment to using high-quality ingredients, Fiorellas Express ensures a safe dining experience for their customers.Their specialty pizzas are a highlight of their menu, showcasing unique flavor combinations and creative toppings. Whether you're a meat lover or a vegetarian, you'll find something to satisfy your cravings at Fiorellas Express. Their vegan and gluten-free options are carefully prepared to meet specific dietary needs, ensuring that everyone can enjoy a delicious pizza.In addition to their specialty pizzas, Fiorellas Express also offers classic favorites like margherita and pepperoni. Each pizza is made with fresh ingredients, giving you a taste of authentic Italian flavors. The convenient location of Fiorellas Express makes it a popular choice for residents and visitors alike, providing a safe and enjoyable dining experience.When it comes to pizza, Fiorellas Express stands out with their specialty options and dedication to catering to different dietary needs. Whether you're looking for a classic pizza or a unique flavor combination, Fiorellas Express has something for everyone. With their commitment to using fresh ingredients and their convenient location, they truly are one of the best pizza places in Belmont.Za Arlington'Za Arlington' is a popular pizza joint in Arlington that offers a variety of flavors and toppings. They pride themselves on their unique dining experience, with a cozy and welcoming atmosphere.From classic pepperoni to creative combinations like buffalo chicken and blue cheese, 'Za Arlington' has something for everyone's taste buds.Flavors and ToppingsThere are numerous pizza places in Belmont that offer a variety of flavors and toppings to satisfy everyone's tastes. When it comes to pizza crust preferences, some people enjoy a thin and crispy crust, while others prefer a thicker and chewier crust. As for popular pizza toppings, the options are endless. From classic choices like pepperoni, mushrooms, and sausage, to more adventurous options like caramelized onions, arugula, and goat cheese, there is something for everyone. Here is a table showcasing some of the popular pizza toppings offered at the various pizza places in Belmont:Pizza ToppingsVegetablesMeatsCheesesOtherMargheritaTomatoMozzarellaPepperoniPepperoniMozzarellaVeggieMushroom, Bell Peppers, Red OnionsMozzarellaBBQ ChickenRed Onions, BBQ SauceGrilled ChickenMozzarellaCilantroWhether you prefer a classic cheese pizza or a loaded pizza with all the toppings, the pizza places in Belmont have something to offer for everyone's pizza cravings.Unique Dining ExperienceWe can enjoy a unique dining experience at Za Arlington with their creative pizza toppings and cozy atmosphere.Za Arlington offers a variety of pizzas with innovative toppings that cater to all taste buds. Whether you're a fan of classic combinations or looking to try something new, they've options for everyone. Their gluten-free options ensure that those with dietary restrictions can also indulge in their delicious pizzas.The restaurant's unique atmosphere adds to the overall dining experience, creating a warm and inviting space to enjoy your meal. With a focus on safety, Za Arlington ensures that their ingredients are of the highest quality and prepared in a clean and sanitary environment.Belmont PizzaOne of the best pizza places in Belmont is Belmont Pizza, known for its authentic Italian pizzas with a light, thin, and crispy crust. At Belmont Pizza, you can expect a delightful dining experience with a wide variety of toppings to choose from. The restaurant offers a cozy and welcoming atmosphere, making it a great spot for families and friends to gather.To give you a better idea of the options available at Belmont Pizza, here is a table highlighting some of their delicious pizzas:PizzaToppingsCrustMargheritaFresh tomatoes, mozzarella, basilThin and crispyPepperoniSpicy pepperoni, mozzarellaThin and crispyVegetarianMushrooms, bell peppers, onionsThin and crispyBelmont Pizza takes pride in using high-quality ingredients and follows strict safety measures to ensure the well-being of their customers. Their pizzas are prepared with care and attention to detail, resulting in a flavorful and satisfying meal.Pinocchios Pizza & SubsPinocchios Pizza & Subs offers a variety of delicious pizzas and subs, perfect for satisfying our cravings. Their flavorful subs are a popular choice among locals, especially when it comes to finding a quick and satisfying meal. With the local pizza competition in Belmont, Pinocchios Pizza & Subs stands out with their unique and tasty offerings.Their pizzas are made with high-quality ingredients and come in a variety of flavors, from classic margherita to specialty options like BBQ chicken and Mediterranean. The subs are made with fresh bread and filled with a variety of meats, cheeses, and toppings, creating a mouthwatering combination of flavors. Whether you're in the mood for a classic cheese pizza or a hearty Italian sub, Pinocchios Pizza & Subs has something for everyone.Now, let's move on to discussing Andrinas Pizzeria, another top contender in the Belmont pizza scene.Andrinas PizzeriaAndrinas Pizzeria offers a unique dining experience with their delectable pizzas and cozy atmosphere, making it a top choice for pizza lovers in Belmont. The moment you step into Andrinas, you're greeted with a warm and inviting ambiance that instantly puts you at ease.The dim lighting and rustic decor create an intimate atmosphere, perfect for a romantic dinner or a casual get-together with friends. The restaurant is known for its specialty pizzas, which are made with only the freshest ingredients and bursting with flavor. From the classic Margherita to the more adventurous BBQ Chicken Bacon Ranch, there's a pizza to satisfy every taste bud.The crust is thin and crispy, providing the perfect base for the generous toppings. Each bite is a harmonious blend of textures and flavors that will leave you craving for more. Whether you're a meat lover, a vegetarian, or have dietary restrictions, Andrinas has a pizza that will suit your preferences.So, if you're looking for a memorable dining experience with exceptional pizzas and a cozy atmosphere, look no further than Andrinas Pizzeria.Speaking of specialty pizzas, let's now turn our attention to another renowned pizzeria in Belmont – Stone Hearth Pizza.Stone Hearth PizzaWe absolutely love the unique toppings and cozy atmosphere at Stone Hearth Pizza. Here are some key points about this popular pizzeria:Crust options at Stone Hearth Pizza:They offer a variety of crust options to cater to different preferences. Whether you prefer a thin and crispy crust or a thicker and more doughy one, they've you covered.Their crusts are made from high-quality ingredients and are always fresh and flavorful.Gluten-free crusts are also available for those with dietary restrictions, ensuring that everyone can enjoy their delicious pizzas.Specialty pizzas at Stone Hearth Pizza:One of their standout specialty pizzas is the Sweet Hearth Pizza. This unique creation combines savory and sweet flavors with toppings like bacon, butternut squash, and goat cheese. It's a delightful combination that will satisfy any pizza lover's cravings.Another popular specialty pizza is the Perfect Pearing Pizza. This delicious pie features a perfect harmony of flavors with toppings like prosciutto, gorgonzola cheese, and sliced pears. It's a truly indulgent and memorable pizza experience.Safety measures at Stone Hearth Pizza:Stone Hearth Pizza prioritizes the safety of their customers and staff. They adhere to strict sanitation and hygiene practices, ensuring a clean and safe dining environment.They also offer contactless delivery and takeout options for those who prefer to enjoy their pizza in the comfort of their own homes.All their ingredients are carefully sourced and handled to maintain the highest quality and safety standards.Stone Hearth Pizza is a fantastic choice for pizza lovers looking for a unique and delicious dining experience. With their variety of crust options and specialty pizzas, there's something to satisfy every palate. And with their commitment to safety, you can enjoy your meal with peace of mind.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are the Opening and Closing Hours of Each of These Pizza Places?When it comes to the opening and closing hours of each of these pizza places, it's important to note that they may vary. It's recommended to check their websites or give them a call to get the most accurate and up-to-date information.Additionally, some of these pizza joints offer delivery services, providing a convenient option for those who prefer to enjoy their delicious pizzas in the comfort of their own homes.Do Any of These Pizza Places Offer Delivery Services?Do any of these pizza places offer delivery services?We were curious about whether any of the pizzerias in Belmont offer delivery options. It's convenient to have the option to get our favorite pizzas delivered right to our door.Delivery services can be especially helpful when we're looking to enjoy a delicious pizza in the comfort of our own home. It would be great to know which places offer this convenient service.Are There Any Vegetarian or Vegan Options Available at These Pizza Places?There are several pizza places in Belmont that offer vegetarian and vegan options. These options include specialty pizzas with a variety of toppings such as fresh vegetables, vegan cheese, and plant-based proteins.Customers have left positive reviews and recommendations for these options, praising the delicious flavors and creative combinations. Some places even offer specialty sauces specifically designed for vegan and vegetarian pizzas.Overall, these pizza places provide a range of options to accommodate different dietary preferences.Are Reservations Required or Recommended at Any of These Pizza Places?Reservations policies vary among the pizza places in Belmont. Some establishments may require or recommend reservations, while others operate on a first-come, first-served basis.It's advisable to call ahead and inquire about their reservations policy to avoid potential wait times. Keep in mind that popular pizza joints might have longer wait times during peak hours.Planning ahead by making a reservation can ensure a smoother dining experience.Do Any of These Pizza Places Offer Gluten-Free Crust Options?Some of these pizzerias in Belmont offer gluten-free crust options. We compared their availability and taste.As the demand for gluten-free options in the pizza industry continues to rise, these places have made efforts to accommodate customers with dietary restrictions. The gluten-free crusts are made with alternative flours like rice or almond flour, and they strive to maintain the same delicious taste as their regular crusts.Safety is a top priority, and these pizzerias take precautions to prevent cross-contamination.ConclusionIn our quest for the best pizza in Belmont, we discovered a plethora of pizzerias that promise pure pizza pleasure. From the authentic Italian flavors at Posto Pizza Joint to the creative combinations at Stone Hearth Pizza, Belmont's pizza scene is bursting with bold and delectable options.Whether you're a traditionalist or an adventurous eater, these pizza places have something to satisfy every craving.So come and indulge in the mouthwatering magic of Belmont's finest pizza establishments. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 11:31 TheSameAsDying Tell Me Yes Or No: on Alice Munro's narratology
Alice Munro, winner of the 2012 Nobel Prize in Literature and one of the all-time greatest writers of short fiction, recently passed away. She's been my favourite author since I first discovered her work, so while I go through my own re-reading of her bibliography, I'll be posting semi-regularly here to talk about aspects of her work that I find absolutely brilliant.
Of everything she's written, I think that "Tell Me Yes or No," featured in Munro's 1974 collection Something I've Been Meaning to Tell You represents a perfect introduction to her writing style, the feminism of her early stories, and the way in which she uses narrative construction to explore the subjectivity of her characters. It's also has possibly the best hook for a story she's ever written, as it begins:
After the narrative hook, the narratoprotagonist brusquely allows us into understanding the source of her contempt. We quickly learn how they met: she was a young mother and a University student, living with her husband in a dormitory of other married couples called The Huts; he lived there as well, as a graduate student, with a wife and child of his own. The student culture she describes is conservative and somewhat repressed: the wives/mothers of The Huts are "creatures of daily use" (87) who rise every night to insert diaphragms or to take other contraceptives, and sex has "shrunk" from an apocalyptic undertaking to another chore. Though there was "no infidelity in The Huts," and "flashes of lust" were uncommon, it is through this man that our narrator "got a glimpse of something [...] that we had not been thinking about — had put aside in your case, or not yet discovered, in mine."
And for a moment, a glimpse is all that Munro gives, as through prolepsis, the story advances to a later year and a remembered conversation, which is presumably also the time when this man told the narrator that he had been in love with her then. It's through this reminiscence that the story moves into the first moments of their emotional affair, : "We never said anything of importance. We never touched each other. [...] Next day, or the day after, when I was reading as usual on the couch, I felt myself drop a lovely distance, thinking of you, and that was the beginning, I suppose, the realization of what more there still could be." (88) Despite only a short walk across campus together during which nothing was said and no one was touched, both parties recall this moment as the significant one in their relationship. For the narrator, it has a transformative effect on her life: "This kind of tension was new to me then. I could not gauge and manipulate, as later with other men." (88) That she brings up manipulation, here, is interesting; we'll find out why, later, but I do want to highlight how Munro will sprinkle things like this into a character's narration which reveal so much of their interiority. Why is she, with this man, so concerned about being able to gauge and manipulate? And why, in the narration, does she go from kind reminiscence to immediately asking the question:
While detailing this narrative of hers, though, the narrator can't help pointing towards the invention of it all: "(The thing we old pros know about, in these fantasies, is the importance of detail, solidity; yes, a cherry pound cake)" (88). When she concludes by saying, "A heart attack, that will do," it isn't pithy, it's another aside, emphasizing the arbitrary construction of her fantasy. All right. So he's not dead. What follows, then, if not a real description of the narrator's subsequent actions, shows that a tremendous amount of thought has gone into building this fantasy. In my version of the text, the story runs from page 86-101, 15 pages; everything said so far has been to frame whatever else follows.
I'll not spend so much time close-reading from here, but briefly: the narrator mentions her habit of carrying the last letter she's received from this man in her purse; upon hearing of his death, the fact that she's not received a letter in a while suddenly resolves itself, and it's a weight off her shoulders. She confides in a coworker, a man named Gus Marks, who suggests she talk to a psychiatrist. She laughs at this, "For I am absorbed in another plan. As soon as the term ends [...] I mean to go visit you, to visit the city where you died." (90) Analepsis: the fantasy/narrative breaks for a moment once again to recall their meeting two years before, where the two confessed that they had loved each other; she learns about his wife's bookstore, he learns about her divorce; he drives her to the airport and she, "was not unhappy at the thought of never seeing you again" (91); instead of the airport, though, they arrive at a hotel together. She muses, "I loved you for linking me with my past [...] If I could kindle love then and take it now there was less waste than I had thought. [...] My life did not altogether fall away in separate pieces, lost." (92)
In the present (fantasy) she gets on the flight across the country, to city where he died. She's only been there once before (it's where they met and rekindled their romance), but now can't help searching the streets for memories of him. She recalls his character, how she saw him, and how he saw himself: "I would say that you are uncompromising [...] that there is something chivalric about you" (94); "You, on the other hand, would describe yourself as genial, corrupt, ordinarily selfish and pleasure-loving." This might be a good time to remember how the story starts, with the narrator describing her past love for him as "an exaggeration." If she was exaggerating then, she must have truly been in love with him here; which is what makes it so devastating when suddenly that love is taken away from her, with nothing to show for it but scraps of letters. "From the beginning, of course, I knew that this was a dangerous way to live," she says, and when the letters stop arriving begins seeking answers in the usual places, reading "case histories" of mistresses in women's journals, and confiding in a friend (a woman) who advises presence and living in the moment. "I have tried this, I will try anything, but I don't understand how it works." (95) So what does work for her?
This, to me, is the true brilliance of the story. Because even if you accept that this is all a fantasy, the fact that something like this exists within that fantasy is so illuminating towards the narrator of this story. In her fantasy, she flies across the country to flaneur around the memory of the man she had an affair with. Alright. She loiters in the vision of her paramour's widow long enough to be recognized, caught, and admonished. And then she finds out that this wasn't even true: the letters aren't her own; he was having another affair with a woman named Patricia. Then, finally, she returns to the bookstore and returns the letters: "'I didn't write these letters' 'Aren't you her?' 'No. I don't know who she is. I don't know.' 'Why did you take them?' 'I didn't understand. I didn't know what you were talking about. I've had a grief lately and sometimes — I'm not paying attention.'" (99)
Her and the widow talk briefly, but they don't ultimately become friends. She walks away from the store, and, "In this city of my imagination," (100), she thinks about the other woman he was writing to: long uncombed black hair, sitting in the dark, "She confides in a woman, goes to bed with a man [...] She suffers according to rules we all know, which are meaningless and absolute." (100) This calls to mind the earlier description of nightly routines back in The Huts, of sex as an apocalypse-made-chore, and of the women who became "creatures of daily use" (87). When I talk about Alice Munro's feminism, it isn't that her characters suffer great tragedies on account of their sex. Instead they're trapped inside of metanarratives that leave them yearning for an alternative to such "meaningless and absolute" rules. Not only that, the narrator in this case tries to have a fraction of the power over this man that he's exerted, possibly without meaning to, over her:
One thing I love about this story is how playful it is, despite the tone never shifting too far away from the contemptuous frustration of the opening passage. The more I read it (and I've probably read this more than any other Munro story), the more details I find to pick out in its construction, of how Alice Munro layered in all these details both to sell the fantasy of her character, and also the character herself. Talking to a man within the fantasy about how she really ought to speak to a psychiatrist reads to me now like Munro having fun with her protagonist's obsession. But I also love that this story is never presented as a woman losing control of herself, even though that would be so easy to do. By allowing the fantasy narrative to be as real as the "true" memories presented alongside of it, she never comes off as irrational or manic, or even jilted until the very end of it, even though to construct such a narrative, with such attention-to-detail and so many layers of fantasy does betray a person who is not coping with loss as well as she claims to be.
It's a strikingly real portrait of a strikingly plausible woman, who married young and therefore never experienced her idea of a romance until years later, rekindling with a man she briefly knew, only for him to disappear from her life again just as quickly. Twice, now, her life had been upended because he showed her something else from the life she had been living; but at the same time, he never truly fit into the narrative of her own life.
Along those lines, there are also a lot of details conspicuously missing from this story about the narrator's life apart from this man: her divorce is briefly mentioned, and experiences with other men; but we never know how much this affair factored into any of those relationships besides a guess at what may have been awakened. We see very little of her as a mother, except that she was pushing a stroller home from the drug store when they first met, and that their romance starts shortly after both her children are away at college themselves for the first time. It's not that any of these details are particularly relevant; I think it's actually interesting how irrelevant they are. One thing that the narrator is trying to do throughout the story is contextualize her feelings for this man within some idea of a life-story. Instead, what we're given is a fractured narrative, with only brief glimpses of real shared moments together, held together by a fantasy in which she portrays both the spurned lover and the homewrecker. The only way she can continue on with her life, therefore, is to persistently imagine him dead.
What Alice Munro does with narrative, in such a short-form as her stories take, is absolutely brilliant. I can't recommend enough picking up a collection of hers, opening to any story she's written, and see how effortlessly she manipulates time, memory and fantasy to suit the needs of the characters she's trying to create. This story ends with the admission that this man who the narrator's addressing is, for her own purposes, basically fictional. She will never understand him. Any love that she had for him couldn't possibly be real under such conditions. And yet, she did love him, despite being an invention, despite her own fantasy.
Because how else could you love a person, or even begin understanding a person, unless they were a little bit fictional to you, existing just a little bit within your imagination?
submitted by TheSameAsDying to TrueLit [link] [comments]
I persistently imagine you dead.Alice Munro regularly uses second-person perspectives in her writing, but never like this. Her stories are often epistolary, with letters featuring crucially into the plots of a couple dozen I can think of off the top of my head (Friend of My Youth and Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage are among the most effective, if you're curious). But rarely is a story directly addressed to someone by a protagonist, in the way that it is here. This story has a venom which drips from off the page.
You told me that you loved me years ago. Years ago. And I said that I too, I was in love with you in those days. An exaggeration.
After the narrative hook, the narratoprotagonist brusquely allows us into understanding the source of her contempt. We quickly learn how they met: she was a young mother and a University student, living with her husband in a dormitory of other married couples called The Huts; he lived there as well, as a graduate student, with a wife and child of his own. The student culture she describes is conservative and somewhat repressed: the wives/mothers of The Huts are "creatures of daily use" (87) who rise every night to insert diaphragms or to take other contraceptives, and sex has "shrunk" from an apocalyptic undertaking to another chore. Though there was "no infidelity in The Huts," and "flashes of lust" were uncommon, it is through this man that our narrator "got a glimpse of something [...] that we had not been thinking about — had put aside in your case, or not yet discovered, in mine."
And for a moment, a glimpse is all that Munro gives, as through prolepsis, the story advances to a later year and a remembered conversation, which is presumably also the time when this man told the narrator that he had been in love with her then. It's through this reminiscence that the story moves into the first moments of their emotional affair, : "We never said anything of importance. We never touched each other. [...] Next day, or the day after, when I was reading as usual on the couch, I felt myself drop a lovely distance, thinking of you, and that was the beginning, I suppose, the realization of what more there still could be." (88) Despite only a short walk across campus together during which nothing was said and no one was touched, both parties recall this moment as the significant one in their relationship. For the narrator, it has a transformative effect on her life: "This kind of tension was new to me then. I could not gauge and manipulate, as later with other men." (88) That she brings up manipulation, here, is interesting; we'll find out why, later, but I do want to highlight how Munro will sprinkle things like this into a character's narration which reveal so much of their interiority. Why is she, with this man, so concerned about being able to gauge and manipulate? And why, in the narration, does she go from kind reminiscence to immediately asking the question:
Would you like to know how I was informed of your death?Mind, now, that it was never established until here that the person she is writing to actually is dead. In the opening, it's only an imagining, "I persistently imagine you dead." For the rest of the story it will seem as if this all is true, and that he has died; but the brilliance of the opening line, beyond its value to draw in a reader, is that now the entire narrative shifts to unstable ground. From now on every action that the narrator takes in the present could be a fantasy, or could be real. It's presented at face value: "I go into the faculty kitchen, to make myself a cup of coffee before my 10 o'clock class. Dodie Charles who is always baking something has brought a cherry pound cake. [...] It is wrapped in wax paper and then in a newspaper. [...] As I wait for my water to boil I see the small item, the modest headline, VETERAN JOURNALIST DIES. [...] Only then do I realize. Your name. The city where you lived and died. A heart attack, that will do" (88-89).
While detailing this narrative of hers, though, the narrator can't help pointing towards the invention of it all: "(The thing we old pros know about, in these fantasies, is the importance of detail, solidity; yes, a cherry pound cake)" (88). When she concludes by saying, "A heart attack, that will do," it isn't pithy, it's another aside, emphasizing the arbitrary construction of her fantasy. All right. So he's not dead. What follows, then, if not a real description of the narrator's subsequent actions, shows that a tremendous amount of thought has gone into building this fantasy. In my version of the text, the story runs from page 86-101, 15 pages; everything said so far has been to frame whatever else follows.
I'll not spend so much time close-reading from here, but briefly: the narrator mentions her habit of carrying the last letter she's received from this man in her purse; upon hearing of his death, the fact that she's not received a letter in a while suddenly resolves itself, and it's a weight off her shoulders. She confides in a coworker, a man named Gus Marks, who suggests she talk to a psychiatrist. She laughs at this, "For I am absorbed in another plan. As soon as the term ends [...] I mean to go visit you, to visit the city where you died." (90) Analepsis: the fantasy/narrative breaks for a moment once again to recall their meeting two years before, where the two confessed that they had loved each other; she learns about his wife's bookstore, he learns about her divorce; he drives her to the airport and she, "was not unhappy at the thought of never seeing you again" (91); instead of the airport, though, they arrive at a hotel together. She muses, "I loved you for linking me with my past [...] If I could kindle love then and take it now there was less waste than I had thought. [...] My life did not altogether fall away in separate pieces, lost." (92)
In the present (fantasy) she gets on the flight across the country, to city where he died. She's only been there once before (it's where they met and rekindled their romance), but now can't help searching the streets for memories of him. She recalls his character, how she saw him, and how he saw himself: "I would say that you are uncompromising [...] that there is something chivalric about you" (94); "You, on the other hand, would describe yourself as genial, corrupt, ordinarily selfish and pleasure-loving." This might be a good time to remember how the story starts, with the narrator describing her past love for him as "an exaggeration." If she was exaggerating then, she must have truly been in love with him here; which is what makes it so devastating when suddenly that love is taken away from her, with nothing to show for it but scraps of letters. "From the beginning, of course, I knew that this was a dangerous way to live," she says, and when the letters stop arriving begins seeking answers in the usual places, reading "case histories" of mistresses in women's journals, and confiding in a friend (a woman) who advises presence and living in the moment. "I have tried this, I will try anything, but I don't understand how it works." (95) So what does work for her?
I have bought a map. I have found your street, the block where your house is. [...] I don't go there yet. [...] That is a house you never meant me to see. [...] Now I can see it if I want to. [...] I go to your wife's store. That is what I can do. (95-96)She loiters around important areas of this man's life, particularly his home and his wife's store, places that bear incredible significance to the person that she loved, but which he could never welcome her into. She mentions in an aside how these places are opposite to the ones they got to share: temporary spaces that wait for his arrival to come alive. Now she sees the wife, newly widowed in this fantasy, going about her day-to-day life. She recognizes her voice from their time together back in The Huts, and prays that she isn't recognized in turn. After a few days of loitering around the shop, though, she is confronted: "'I think I know who you are' [...] 'We've all noticed you hanging around here. At first I thought you were a shoplifter. I told everyone to keep an eye on you. But you're not a shoplifter, are you?'" (97). The woman gives her a paper bag full of letters, and smugly announces, as if we didn't know, that her husband is dead. In the bag is the record of their correspondence together, which ended when he died at his desk of that heart attack: "But then I notice that the writing is not mine. I start to read. These letters are not mine, they were not written by me." (98)
This, to me, is the true brilliance of the story. Because even if you accept that this is all a fantasy, the fact that something like this exists within that fantasy is so illuminating towards the narrator of this story. In her fantasy, she flies across the country to flaneur around the memory of the man she had an affair with. Alright. She loiters in the vision of her paramour's widow long enough to be recognized, caught, and admonished. And then she finds out that this wasn't even true: the letters aren't her own; he was having another affair with a woman named Patricia. Then, finally, she returns to the bookstore and returns the letters: "'I didn't write these letters' 'Aren't you her?' 'No. I don't know who she is. I don't know.' 'Why did you take them?' 'I didn't understand. I didn't know what you were talking about. I've had a grief lately and sometimes — I'm not paying attention.'" (99)
Her and the widow talk briefly, but they don't ultimately become friends. She walks away from the store, and, "In this city of my imagination," (100), she thinks about the other woman he was writing to: long uncombed black hair, sitting in the dark, "She confides in a woman, goes to bed with a man [...] She suffers according to rules we all know, which are meaningless and absolute." (100) This calls to mind the earlier description of nightly routines back in The Huts, of sex as an apocalypse-made-chore, and of the women who became "creatures of daily use" (87). When I talk about Alice Munro's feminism, it isn't that her characters suffer great tragedies on account of their sex. Instead they're trapped inside of metanarratives that leave them yearning for an alternative to such "meaningless and absolute" rules. Not only that, the narrator in this case tries to have a fraction of the power over this man that he's exerted, possibly without meaning to, over her:
When I think of her I see all this sort of love as you must have seen, or see it, as something going on at a distance; a strange, not even pitiable expenditure; unintelligible ceremony in an unknown faith. Am I right, am I getting close to you, is that true? (100)She's now shifted herself into the place of the widow from earlier. She's understood him before as a lover; now she's trying to understand him as an adulterer, as someone who never took her that seriously, who possibly never loved her ("an exaggeration") as much as she knows that she loved him. More than that, she wants to get close to him, in an even more intimate way than she's ever been able to, before quickly realizing what a fool's errand that would be. Did he actually love her? He is the one who said it first. "How are we to understand you?" she asks, before withdrawing the question entirely:
Never mind. I invented her. I invented you, as far as my purposes go. I invented loving you and I invented your death. I have my tricks and my trap doors too. I don't understand their workings at the present moment, but I have to be careful, I won't speak against them. (101)
It's a strikingly real portrait of a strikingly plausible woman, who married young and therefore never experienced her idea of a romance until years later, rekindling with a man she briefly knew, only for him to disappear from her life again just as quickly. Twice, now, her life had been upended because he showed her something else from the life she had been living; but at the same time, he never truly fit into the narrative of her own life.
Along those lines, there are also a lot of details conspicuously missing from this story about the narrator's life apart from this man: her divorce is briefly mentioned, and experiences with other men; but we never know how much this affair factored into any of those relationships besides a guess at what may have been awakened. We see very little of her as a mother, except that she was pushing a stroller home from the drug store when they first met, and that their romance starts shortly after both her children are away at college themselves for the first time. It's not that any of these details are particularly relevant; I think it's actually interesting how irrelevant they are. One thing that the narrator is trying to do throughout the story is contextualize her feelings for this man within some idea of a life-story. Instead, what we're given is a fractured narrative, with only brief glimpses of real shared moments together, held together by a fantasy in which she portrays both the spurned lover and the homewrecker. The only way she can continue on with her life, therefore, is to persistently imagine him dead.
What Alice Munro does with narrative, in such a short-form as her stories take, is absolutely brilliant. I can't recommend enough picking up a collection of hers, opening to any story she's written, and see how effortlessly she manipulates time, memory and fantasy to suit the needs of the characters she's trying to create. This story ends with the admission that this man who the narrator's addressing is, for her own purposes, basically fictional. She will never understand him. Any love that she had for him couldn't possibly be real under such conditions. And yet, she did love him, despite being an invention, despite her own fantasy.
Because how else could you love a person, or even begin understanding a person, unless they were a little bit fictional to you, existing just a little bit within your imagination?
2024.05.16 11:22 Total-Mastodon-6888 Moving to Canada: 8 Things to Do in Your First Week
Congratulations on making the exciting decision to moving to Canada! As you embark on this new chapter in your life, canada pr consultant it’s important to ensure a smooth transition. Here are eight essential things to do in your first week:
Remember, moving to Canada a new country can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. Give yourself time to adjust, be open to new experiences, and don’t hesitate to seek support when needed. At Adric Immigration, we’re here to help you navigate the immigration process and transition smoothly into your new life in Canada. Welcome home!
submitted by Total-Mastodon-6888 to u/Total-Mastodon-6888 [link] [comments]
1. Complete Immigration Formalities:
Upon arrival, make sure to complete any remaining immigration formalities, such as activating your permanent residency status or obtaining necessary permits or documentation.2. Set Up Banking and Finances:
Visit a local bank to set up a Canadian bank account. This will make it easier to manage your finances, receive payments, and pay bills. Additionally, familiarize yourself with the Canadian currency and banking system.3. Secure Housing:
If you haven’t already, find permanent accommodation that suits your needs and budget. Consider factors such as location, proximity to amenities and transportation, and rental or purchase agreements.4. Obtain Social Insurance Number:
Your SIN is essential for employment, taxation, and accessing government benefits and services. Apply for your SIN as soon as possible at a Service Canada Centre.5. Explore Healthcare Options:
Familiarize yourself with Canada’s healthcare system and register for provincial health coverage. Depending on your province of residence, you may need to apply for a health card to access medical services.6. Set Up Utilities and Services:
Arrange for utilities such as electricity, water, gas, and internet to be connected at your new residence. Research and sign up for other essential services like mobile phone plans and insurance coverage.7. Get to Know Your Neighborhood:
Take some time to explore your new neighborhood and surroundings. Locate nearby amenities such as grocery stores, pharmacies, public transportation stops, and recreational facilities.8. Connect with Community Resources:
Reach out to local community organizations, immigrant support services, and cultural associations. These resources can provide valuable information, assistance, and social connections to help you settle into your new home.Remember, moving to Canada a new country can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. Give yourself time to adjust, be open to new experiences, and don’t hesitate to seek support when needed. At Adric Immigration, we’re here to help you navigate the immigration process and transition smoothly into your new life in Canada. Welcome home!
2024.05.16 11:05 anthropomorphycalien Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, humans. ❤️✌️
Hi there!
I have been casually lurking this sub-reddit since before I reverted to Islam last year in September, as well as a number of other Islam-themed sub-reddits.
In this sub specifically, as well as a few others, I have appreciated the entertaining and informative discourse established by the seemingly open-minded and critical denizens.
JazakAllah khair, fam.
I figured I would introduce myself, as I'm at a point in my study of the Quran and Islam where I believe open discussion of my thoughts and knowledge, (or perhaps lackthereof? 🧐 The more you know, the less you know.), would be beneficial rather than overly influential.
Anywho. My name is Marisa, or نهى 🤷♀️. I'm 30 years old. I live in the Bay Area of California and have since I was 18. I moved out here alone, without connections, and built a decent little life for myself. I'm still studying (Civil Eng.) but currently work for a CE drafting and doing occasional field work. I skateboard, bike, read, write, make art, etcetcetc. The two truths I have found in this life are Islam and to seek knowledge insatiably.
Around the end of 2022/beginning of 2023, I found myself with a lot of friends either born in or whose family is from the MENA region. Various places: Tunisia, Palestine, Iraq, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, Syria, Lebanon, etc. Most are Muslim, الحمد لله 🥰. Given that it's in my nature to seek knowledge, I sought to reconcile the fact that I knew nothing about Islam.
My religious background: I was raised "loosely" Christian. My parents believed in God but didn't really talk about God or go to church. My mom would talk a tiny bit about God with me and I remember saying this prayer before bed well into my teens with her:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Beside that, throughout my childhood also into my early teens, I would go to church with friends. I think a Catholic church once, but mostly Baptist and Protestant IIRC. I even joined youth group a couple of times.
The thing is though, that Christianity never really spoke to me, even though I believed in God. I just couldn't connect with it for no other reason I can think of, than that God was preserving my faith for Islam.
Around the age of 15, I remember telling my father I thought I was an atheist. He acted upset and told me "We believe in God," but didn't have much to say when I said "Since when? You never talk about God."
Fast forward to 18 or 19, and I started calling myself agnostic. My reasoning for this change was the acceptance of the reality of metaphysical phenomena. I was tired of deluding myself to the existence of something outside our understanding, though not ready to accept that I believed in our monotheistic God, the only Lord, Allah subhana wa ta’ala. (Fun fact: When things were terrible and when things were fantastic, I prayed to Allah, even when I called myself an atheist.)
And I stayed that way until I began reading the Quran, hadith, opinion pieces from casual studies, articles and discussions from scholars, from sources across the board. Sunni, Shia, Quranists, ex-Muslims, etc etc.
And I found myself drawn to Islam. For one, it made me finally admit to myself that I believed in God.
Further, the message I was receiving from the Quran was one of ethics, love(in all its forms, fierce and tender), knowledge-seeking, reciprocity, and patience, and so much more as my studies will not cease until I die ان شاء الله .
The tipping point from being drawn by to diving into Islam was what I can only explain as guidance directly from Allah SWT.
I was up late reading Surah an-Nisa. I had finished reading the following ayah, which I had resonated with and was feeling deeply at that moment.
After reading those, I was thinking over them and ready to sleep, I went to put my Quran down. As I did, it flipped open to the page with the Shahada on it. Seeing it, I had a very strong, sudden, and urgent feeling that I needed to take my Shahada. I want to say my intuition was pushing me, but it was different, outside of myself, and far stronger. So I did. I took my Shahada and fell asleep knowing I had done the right thing. Later, I said my Shahada with Muslim witnesses, of course, though not at a masjid.
Since then, I have been content with my choice and endlessly grateful to Allah SWT for His guidance الحمد لله ❤️
For further clarity on my particular stance within Islam, I identify purely as a Muslim and do not associate myself with any sects or school of thought. I take information from everywhere, and my research always goes back to the Quran. I am not a native Arabic speaker, although I'm slowly learning ان شاء الله (And am actually starting lessons soon, الحمد لله), so I often use friends (from all over and who identify within different Islamic schools of thought) as translators when I deep dive verses, hadith, etc, as well as multiple Arabic-English dictionaries, a Quranic Root index, and varying sources of interpretation.
I have not formed any particular blanket opinion about any sect or school of thought at this point, though find some sect-associated acts to be contrary to what we're taught in the Quran.
I am highly skeptical of Hadiths (including the science behind the chains of transmission), though I do not dismiss them entirely. Some are bound to be accurate at best, and indicative of socio-political conditions/individual and group character at worst.
I am deeply curious, though currently ill-informed, about the long-term effect that the first 4 caliphs, as well as the Ummayid and Abbasid caliphates had on the Ummah and our collective understanding of Islamic history, and subsequently our understanding of Islam.
Not sure what else to put on here besides what I already have.
Oh, I have two cats. Ada and Marie. They're named after scientists. If you can guess who they're named after, I'll think you're really cool, مل شاء الله 👌
Also #freepalestine
The ayah from an-Nisa, with Yusef Ali translation:
{ ۞وَٱعۡبُدُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡـٔٗاۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنٗا وَبِذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡيَتَٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَٰكِينِ وَٱلۡجَارِ ذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡجَارِ ٱلۡجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلۡجَنۢبِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُكُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخۡتَالٗا فَخُورًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 36]
Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-
{ ٱلَّذِينَ يَبۡخَلُونَ وَيَأۡمُرُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ بِٱلۡبُخۡلِ وَيَكۡتُمُونَ مَآ ءَاتَىٰهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦۗ وَأَعۡتَدۡنَا لِلۡكَٰفِرِينَ عَذَابٗا مُّهِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 37]
(Nor) those who are niggardly or enjoin niggardliness on others, or hide the bounties which Allah hath bestowed on them; for We have prepared, for those who resist Faith, a punishment that steeps them in contempt;-
{ وَٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ أَمۡوَٰلَهُمۡ رِئَآءَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلَا يُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَلَا بِٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِۗ وَمَن يَكُنِ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنُ لَهُۥ قَرِينٗا فَسَآءَ قَرِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 38]
Not those who spend of their substance, to be seen of men, but have no faith in Allah and the Last Day: If any take the Evil One for their intimate, what a dreadful intimate he is!
{ وَمَاذَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ لَوۡ ءَامَنُواْ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِ وَأَنفَقُواْ مِمَّا رَزَقَهُمُ ٱللَّهُۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِمۡ عَلِيمًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 39]
And what burden Were it on them if they had faith in Allah and in the Last Day, and they spent out of what Allah hath given them for sustenance? For Allah hath full knowledge of them.
{ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَظۡلِمُ مِثۡقَالَ ذَرَّةٖۖ وَإِن تَكُ حَسَنَةٗ يُضَٰعِفۡهَا وَيُؤۡتِ مِن لَّدُنۡهُ أَجۡرًا عَظِيمٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 40]
Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.
{ فَكَيۡفَ إِذَا جِئۡنَا مِن كُلِّ أُمَّةِۭ بِشَهِيدٖ وَجِئۡنَا بِكَ عَلَىٰ هَٰٓؤُلَآءِ شَهِيدٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 41]
How then if We brought from each people a witness, and We brought thee as a witness against these people!
{ يَوۡمَئِذٖ يَوَدُّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ وَعَصَوُاْ ٱلرَّسُولَ لَوۡ تُسَوَّىٰ بِهِمُ ٱلۡأَرۡضُ وَلَا يَكۡتُمُونَ ٱللَّهَ حَدِيثٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 42]
On that day those who reject Faith and disobey the messenger will wish that the earth Were made one with them: But never will they hide a single fact from Allah!
submitted by anthropomorphycalien to progressive_islam [link] [comments]
I have been casually lurking this sub-reddit since before I reverted to Islam last year in September, as well as a number of other Islam-themed sub-reddits.
In this sub specifically, as well as a few others, I have appreciated the entertaining and informative discourse established by the seemingly open-minded and critical denizens.
JazakAllah khair, fam.
I figured I would introduce myself, as I'm at a point in my study of the Quran and Islam where I believe open discussion of my thoughts and knowledge, (or perhaps lackthereof? 🧐 The more you know, the less you know.), would be beneficial rather than overly influential.
Anywho. My name is Marisa, or نهى 🤷♀️. I'm 30 years old. I live in the Bay Area of California and have since I was 18. I moved out here alone, without connections, and built a decent little life for myself. I'm still studying (Civil Eng.) but currently work for a CE drafting and doing occasional field work. I skateboard, bike, read, write, make art, etcetcetc. The two truths I have found in this life are Islam and to seek knowledge insatiably.
Around the end of 2022/beginning of 2023, I found myself with a lot of friends either born in or whose family is from the MENA region. Various places: Tunisia, Palestine, Iraq, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, Syria, Lebanon, etc. Most are Muslim, الحمد لله 🥰. Given that it's in my nature to seek knowledge, I sought to reconcile the fact that I knew nothing about Islam.
My religious background: I was raised "loosely" Christian. My parents believed in God but didn't really talk about God or go to church. My mom would talk a tiny bit about God with me and I remember saying this prayer before bed well into my teens with her:
"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Beside that, throughout my childhood also into my early teens, I would go to church with friends. I think a Catholic church once, but mostly Baptist and Protestant IIRC. I even joined youth group a couple of times.
The thing is though, that Christianity never really spoke to me, even though I believed in God. I just couldn't connect with it for no other reason I can think of, than that God was preserving my faith for Islam.
Around the age of 15, I remember telling my father I thought I was an atheist. He acted upset and told me "We believe in God," but didn't have much to say when I said "Since when? You never talk about God."
Fast forward to 18 or 19, and I started calling myself agnostic. My reasoning for this change was the acceptance of the reality of metaphysical phenomena. I was tired of deluding myself to the existence of something outside our understanding, though not ready to accept that I believed in our monotheistic God, the only Lord, Allah subhana wa ta’ala. (Fun fact: When things were terrible and when things were fantastic, I prayed to Allah, even when I called myself an atheist.)
And I stayed that way until I began reading the Quran, hadith, opinion pieces from casual studies, articles and discussions from scholars, from sources across the board. Sunni, Shia, Quranists, ex-Muslims, etc etc.
And I found myself drawn to Islam. For one, it made me finally admit to myself that I believed in God.
Further, the message I was receiving from the Quran was one of ethics, love(in all its forms, fierce and tender), knowledge-seeking, reciprocity, and patience, and so much more as my studies will not cease until I die ان شاء الله .
The tipping point from being drawn by to diving into Islam was what I can only explain as guidance directly from Allah SWT.
I was up late reading Surah an-Nisa. I had finished reading the following ayah, which I had resonated with and was feeling deeply at that moment.
After reading those, I was thinking over them and ready to sleep, I went to put my Quran down. As I did, it flipped open to the page with the Shahada on it. Seeing it, I had a very strong, sudden, and urgent feeling that I needed to take my Shahada. I want to say my intuition was pushing me, but it was different, outside of myself, and far stronger. So I did. I took my Shahada and fell asleep knowing I had done the right thing. Later, I said my Shahada with Muslim witnesses, of course, though not at a masjid.
Since then, I have been content with my choice and endlessly grateful to Allah SWT for His guidance الحمد لله ❤️
For further clarity on my particular stance within Islam, I identify purely as a Muslim and do not associate myself with any sects or school of thought. I take information from everywhere, and my research always goes back to the Quran. I am not a native Arabic speaker, although I'm slowly learning ان شاء الله (And am actually starting lessons soon, الحمد لله), so I often use friends (from all over and who identify within different Islamic schools of thought) as translators when I deep dive verses, hadith, etc, as well as multiple Arabic-English dictionaries, a Quranic Root index, and varying sources of interpretation.
I have not formed any particular blanket opinion about any sect or school of thought at this point, though find some sect-associated acts to be contrary to what we're taught in the Quran.
I am highly skeptical of Hadiths (including the science behind the chains of transmission), though I do not dismiss them entirely. Some are bound to be accurate at best, and indicative of socio-political conditions/individual and group character at worst.
I am deeply curious, though currently ill-informed, about the long-term effect that the first 4 caliphs, as well as the Ummayid and Abbasid caliphates had on the Ummah and our collective understanding of Islamic history, and subsequently our understanding of Islam.
Not sure what else to put on here besides what I already have.
Oh, I have two cats. Ada and Marie. They're named after scientists. If you can guess who they're named after, I'll think you're really cool, مل شاء الله 👌
Also #freepalestine
The ayah from an-Nisa, with Yusef Ali translation:
{ ۞وَٱعۡبُدُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡـٔٗاۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنٗا وَبِذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡيَتَٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَٰكِينِ وَٱلۡجَارِ ذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡجَارِ ٱلۡجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلۡجَنۢبِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُكُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخۡتَالٗا فَخُورًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 36]
Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-
{ ٱلَّذِينَ يَبۡخَلُونَ وَيَأۡمُرُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ بِٱلۡبُخۡلِ وَيَكۡتُمُونَ مَآ ءَاتَىٰهُمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦۗ وَأَعۡتَدۡنَا لِلۡكَٰفِرِينَ عَذَابٗا مُّهِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 37]
(Nor) those who are niggardly or enjoin niggardliness on others, or hide the bounties which Allah hath bestowed on them; for We have prepared, for those who resist Faith, a punishment that steeps them in contempt;-
{ وَٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ أَمۡوَٰلَهُمۡ رِئَآءَ ٱلنَّاسِ وَلَا يُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَلَا بِٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِۗ وَمَن يَكُنِ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنُ لَهُۥ قَرِينٗا فَسَآءَ قَرِينٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 38]
Not those who spend of their substance, to be seen of men, but have no faith in Allah and the Last Day: If any take the Evil One for their intimate, what a dreadful intimate he is!
{ وَمَاذَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ لَوۡ ءَامَنُواْ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِ وَأَنفَقُواْ مِمَّا رَزَقَهُمُ ٱللَّهُۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِمۡ عَلِيمًا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 39]
And what burden Were it on them if they had faith in Allah and in the Last Day, and they spent out of what Allah hath given them for sustenance? For Allah hath full knowledge of them.
{ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَظۡلِمُ مِثۡقَالَ ذَرَّةٖۖ وَإِن تَكُ حَسَنَةٗ يُضَٰعِفۡهَا وَيُؤۡتِ مِن لَّدُنۡهُ أَجۡرًا عَظِيمٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 40]
Allah is never unjust in the least degree: If there is any good (done), He doubleth it, and giveth from His own presence a great reward.
{ فَكَيۡفَ إِذَا جِئۡنَا مِن كُلِّ أُمَّةِۭ بِشَهِيدٖ وَجِئۡنَا بِكَ عَلَىٰ هَٰٓؤُلَآءِ شَهِيدٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 41]
How then if We brought from each people a witness, and We brought thee as a witness against these people!
{ يَوۡمَئِذٖ يَوَدُّ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ وَعَصَوُاْ ٱلرَّسُولَ لَوۡ تُسَوَّىٰ بِهِمُ ٱلۡأَرۡضُ وَلَا يَكۡتُمُونَ ٱللَّهَ حَدِيثٗا } [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 42]
On that day those who reject Faith and disobey the messenger will wish that the earth Were made one with them: But never will they hide a single fact from Allah!
2024.05.16 11:02 Shecrazy87 John-Paul Miller killed Mica Miller and here’s how.
This is the most plausible answer. I think this is exactly how he did it using facts from sermons, emails, texts, news, interviews, maps, and extensive experience with parasitic Narcissistic sitic abuse. If there is anything that I am incorrect on please let me know and I will recalculate. After typing this up two days ago, I stumbled upon Mica’s father‘s interview, and it completely solidified it to the point where I started violently shaking. I think this is what happened.
I was told Winslow‘s property backs up against that state forest. 200 acres. Right down the road. Now remember. Somebody on his staff was told to go and trim back the overgrowth on that specific property shortly before all of this happened,
I think Mica at some point had conversation with Winslow and agreed to come and talk to him at his property, a “safe place JP wouldn’t know.”, thinking she could trust him. I think mica went to winslows and JP was waiting there for unknowingly.
I think Winslow has JP‘s phone and I think JP has Winslow‘s phone so they’re not gonna ping the towers. All they saw was the license plate they never verified He was actually there.
I think JP and Winslow met at a undisclosed location and swapped vehicles. JP went up to Winslow’s NC property with Winslow‘s vehicle and cell phone, and Winslow went down south with JP cell phone and truck. I can’t quite place the girlfriend, but she is an alibi therefore she is aware that something has happened or is going on. I cannot figure out whether or not Winslow was with JP and she took the vehicle down south either or we need to find out the location of where the girlfriend was and where Winslow was. That could all be found by bank financial records of the days in question. Nobody uses cash in 2024 for an entire getaway.
Didn’t they say he got a new truck? There was something new about the truck? Did he get a new one so it wouldn’t have any of Winslow’s DNA inside of it? If Winslow drove it, his DNA/finger prints on the steering wheel would easily be on the steering wheel. Why else would he need to drive Winslow‘s vehicle if there were indications, he was driving the vehicle. Now remember one of them is a lawyer he knows what they look for. JP‘s and Winslow‘s vehicles both need to be tested for gunpowder residue.
Mica shows up to Winslow’s property, JP is there with Winslow’s vehicle, ambushes her OR Winslow is there too and the girlfriend took her phone and truck south. He already has a plan of where he’s going to take her to unalive her before she arrives. JP drives Mica’s car with Mica in it to the final location parking lot, walks her into the woods kills her, puts her stuff down and walks back to Winslow property through the woods. Girlfriend says she was with him, I think she stayed at the property or she drove a vehicle to come get him after he was done if she was there. either way Winslow or girlfriend somebody picked him up or was waiting or he went back to the property and gotten Winslow‘s vehicle and left. Remember it’s not that far away..
Now, after reviewing the 911 recording again, I do not think it is AI. The biggest reason why I know it wasn’t AI is because if you listen to the fast response when asked for the phone number, there wasn’t enough time to record that and send it at the same time. So she replied too fast. Now, when have you ever heard a 911 operator asking somebody for their phone number? That never would have been written. You still have the type stuff in the AI creators. Also, she delayed pause between every number, how would she have replied in half the time it would have taken to type all of that out. Think about it, he would have had to type a number hit space type a number hit space over and over. In a rush I know I mess up you don’t think he would have messed up? He never would have been able to get that recorded smoothly quickly in the time it took for her to respond. Again, when have you ever heard of 911 asking for your phone number?. I believe he is in the car with her after they just left Winslows property. I believe he’s sitting right next to her in the car and allows her to make the call thinking it’s going to cover up everything and benefit him. She was sending out the whistle to her family and She’s trying to buy time for them to locate her. He knew to turn off the location because she mentioned She turned it on notice how it ended at that?. My point with this is at the end.
Logically speaking if she was purposely driving to that park, she would have known the name to GPS it. She would’ve known the name of the park to give the operator. That’s why she was pausing, probably looking to him to see where they’re at. That’s why she says “yes that’s it” cause he nodded. he had enough time to process what the operator was saying before Mica was able to answer that’s why she was able to reply quickly because the operator was speaking slowly. He heard the first word and nodded. She didn’t know, but now suddenly she knew? If she was going to purposely take her own life, and she really wanted her body found, why wouldn’t she have found the name of the park before she called to give them proper location?
She would have seen oh look it’s a park and read the sign and pulled into it. She didn’t know the sign because she was terrified because he was with her. She just knows she’s in a park.
I would possibly look to see if there was any dirt roads that led to where her vehicle is at back to Winslow’s property. That might be why she didn’t see a sign. I haven’t looked too much into that part but it’s a suggestion if anybody wants to do any homework.
SO That’s why the phone was put on airplane mode so cops wouldn’t track them into the woods at the site of the incident and he would be able to get away in time into the woods without being seen.
Also airplane mode was turned on while in the car, at the end of the 911 call, I think he took the phone put the airplane mode on which is why the airplane mode was put on because she mentioned it out loud specifically, he knew the cops were coming time to MOVE, can’t follow us to the woods though. THATS why there’s no bird sounds, they did it in the car after they got to the parking lot. I think subconsciously she thought knew this was going to happen. Kinda like I told my family this was going to happen, and then it clicked what she needed to do. He brought the phone with them to paint the picture. Why would she turn off her location herself if she wanted to be found? She was already going to enter her life right? She was obviously not going to wait a long time right? Listen to her voice when it got emotional when she said she was going to kill herself. If she was unsure, why did she skip up in the exact moment? She was almost free, she had fought so hard. When you’re almost free, what would make you think she would want to stop now? Listen to me clearly, he was in the car. She needed to send out a dog whistle to the people she had told she she told him she would admit to the suicide if she could have her body found. She knew she was going to die and she knew she needed to make sure her family could piece this together. Therefore the only plausible answer is he was in the car with her. She was emotionless probably because the gun was already on her, the phone was removed from her because she mentioned the airplane mode specifically he thought they can’t trace us out to the woods, airplane mode goes on. He walked out to the woods. He needed Time to get away and couldn’t have them knowing exactly where he was to go to first so he could escape right after.
Now he goes into the woods by possibly dragging her which is why she has a bruised wrist. That might be why she started crying. She might have tried to get away when she knew what was going to happen or that it was happening hence why there’s multiple rounds. This led to possible yanking, and then the gunshot, which is why the fisherman heard the crying. Then it was over. Put her in the water he placed her belongings and Then he walked back towards Winslow‘s property. I want to know if there’s a phone call between mica and Winslow, was this drive scheduled day of or days prior and gave enough time for it to be planned. I believe at that time he got back into Winslow’s vehicle met somewhere with Windlow switched vehicles again. JP going to his home and Winslow going back to his home. The funeral and everything was already preplanned and scheduled due to the fact they already knew what was going to happen and already had it pre-planned and needed to make sure it was swift and left no room for delay. Her family, knowing they would want to see her, he manipulated them into signing the cremation holding her body over their heads. Taunting them via text message blaming them to create the narrative. Otherwise, what would be the big deal of allowing them to see the body without needing something in exchange? He knew they would have questions afterwards. At that time all they had was the 911 call and a body, sometimes you need time to process. You know when something happens and then later on you’re like wait what? He wanted to make sure that body had no stop on the cremation process to get rid of all evidence before thosequestions inevitably came. He got ahead of it so there was no hiccup in delays because he knew he had to allow them to see the body to the public that would be the moral right thing to do. Not allowing them to see the body would be suspicious. He figured out how to make it work for both. He talks about laying with her body four times and trying to raise her from the dead, was this guilt or was it like when somebody puts a deer head on the wall?
Now remember, she has already been predisposed to trust Winslow. He mentions Winslow in an email to her previously, obviously showing that he & his wife were a trusted friend of hers as well. It’s 100% a possibility that Winslow told her to come up and talk where she was protected and JP wouldn’t find them, and Winslow left with the truck and met with JP and they switched. Winslow south, JP north. Winslow had asked his staff to clean up that overgrowth on the property. It being a wooded area, was this done so that the roadway was assessable for the plan? she probably drove down some type of dirt road, and he ambushed her in some manner. North Carolina Woods are dense, therefore easily to hide when she pulls over.
Now, how do I think that JP convinced Winslow to help, I believe JP convinced Winslow , Mica was going to tell on all of them and ruin their lives. This could have been backed up by the fact that all the documentation that she had previously collected had gone missing, and was brought to Winslow to paint Mica as an enemy so this was enough for him to convince Winslow that their future and freedom was inJeopardy. When JP was actually afraid she was going to tell on his abuse and life and ruin him. So they killed her to protect their life.
They said something yesterday about breaking news how they found that the notary was forged? Thats enough for me to draw speculation because it was done by Winslow that he is now in on the dirty dealings. He is a part of the actual dirty dealings against mica He knows something is being done wrong and he is condoning it.
That notary that was done on the power of attorney from mica was falsely notarized. Mica was not present for the notary. There was an article on earlier I was looking at but I was in information overload. I just know It was not legally notarized. This shows that Winslow does not have integrity. How far is he willing to go to protect JP and all of their secrets?
I think she told JP she just wanted her body to be found for her family and she would go without a fight. I believe that it was a dog whistle to her family. The clue they would need to know this wasn’t suicide. She told them and now she needed them to remember. She knew she was going to die and everybody needed to know about the gunshot specifically that she warned everyone about days prior. He didn’t know she told people close to her that that. That’s why her voice broke up when she said she was going to unalive herself. She did not want to die. She just wanted people to be able to solve the crime. She manipulated him into thinking he was going to get away with this because she is admitting to it being a suicide. Not knowing She had whistled what was going to happen, she needed people to listen. She offered up no extra information during the 911 call which then delayed the process hoping they would find her location. She told her dad days prior she’s getting a gun for protection. I think she got it before she drove up there just incase and the bruises on her hand may be him wrestling it from her. Maybe at arrival.
A search and rescue dog can smell from weeks to months after somebody has left the area, and if anybody can get something of his and be able to place him there in the woods, you have convincing beyond a reasonable doubt.
After writing this up yesterday when I was complete, I got super sick to my stomach. I was shaking. I could see it completely out in my head where all the facts completely aligned. I believe tthis is the only plausible theory there is.
What people need to realize at the end of the day the good attention and bad attention is still attention to a narcissist. He is enjoying the intention is getting from this primarily from getting away with it. That’s why I believe he visited her body four times after she was deceased. Because he already had a girlfriend, he already talked about going and getting a hot wife and then after she dies, he does an interview about how she’s the most incredible wife and supportive. He made the obituary about how awesome he thought she was to still collect her validation and the validation he got from being her husband because she was good. She was light and he was jealous of that. He wanted that that’s why he had that position. She loved him so much he claimed and how she was so wonderful he claimed yet she didn’t want him when she had a no contact order and wanted a divorce obviously, he wasn’t that. and if you guys don’t think he groomed her go to the memorial of life sermon and listen to the poem again. Now switch the words, “school” and “church.” And follow the story line.
He killed Mica Miller.
submitted by Shecrazy87 to MicaMiller [link] [comments]
I was told Winslow‘s property backs up against that state forest. 200 acres. Right down the road. Now remember. Somebody on his staff was told to go and trim back the overgrowth on that specific property shortly before all of this happened,
I think Mica at some point had conversation with Winslow and agreed to come and talk to him at his property, a “safe place JP wouldn’t know.”, thinking she could trust him. I think mica went to winslows and JP was waiting there for unknowingly.
I think Winslow has JP‘s phone and I think JP has Winslow‘s phone so they’re not gonna ping the towers. All they saw was the license plate they never verified He was actually there.
I think JP and Winslow met at a undisclosed location and swapped vehicles. JP went up to Winslow’s NC property with Winslow‘s vehicle and cell phone, and Winslow went down south with JP cell phone and truck. I can’t quite place the girlfriend, but she is an alibi therefore she is aware that something has happened or is going on. I cannot figure out whether or not Winslow was with JP and she took the vehicle down south either or we need to find out the location of where the girlfriend was and where Winslow was. That could all be found by bank financial records of the days in question. Nobody uses cash in 2024 for an entire getaway.
Didn’t they say he got a new truck? There was something new about the truck? Did he get a new one so it wouldn’t have any of Winslow’s DNA inside of it? If Winslow drove it, his DNA/finger prints on the steering wheel would easily be on the steering wheel. Why else would he need to drive Winslow‘s vehicle if there were indications, he was driving the vehicle. Now remember one of them is a lawyer he knows what they look for. JP‘s and Winslow‘s vehicles both need to be tested for gunpowder residue.
Mica shows up to Winslow’s property, JP is there with Winslow’s vehicle, ambushes her OR Winslow is there too and the girlfriend took her phone and truck south. He already has a plan of where he’s going to take her to unalive her before she arrives. JP drives Mica’s car with Mica in it to the final location parking lot, walks her into the woods kills her, puts her stuff down and walks back to Winslow property through the woods. Girlfriend says she was with him, I think she stayed at the property or she drove a vehicle to come get him after he was done if she was there. either way Winslow or girlfriend somebody picked him up or was waiting or he went back to the property and gotten Winslow‘s vehicle and left. Remember it’s not that far away..
Now, after reviewing the 911 recording again, I do not think it is AI. The biggest reason why I know it wasn’t AI is because if you listen to the fast response when asked for the phone number, there wasn’t enough time to record that and send it at the same time. So she replied too fast. Now, when have you ever heard a 911 operator asking somebody for their phone number? That never would have been written. You still have the type stuff in the AI creators. Also, she delayed pause between every number, how would she have replied in half the time it would have taken to type all of that out. Think about it, he would have had to type a number hit space type a number hit space over and over. In a rush I know I mess up you don’t think he would have messed up? He never would have been able to get that recorded smoothly quickly in the time it took for her to respond. Again, when have you ever heard of 911 asking for your phone number?. I believe he is in the car with her after they just left Winslows property. I believe he’s sitting right next to her in the car and allows her to make the call thinking it’s going to cover up everything and benefit him. She was sending out the whistle to her family and She’s trying to buy time for them to locate her. He knew to turn off the location because she mentioned She turned it on notice how it ended at that?. My point with this is at the end.
Logically speaking if she was purposely driving to that park, she would have known the name to GPS it. She would’ve known the name of the park to give the operator. That’s why she was pausing, probably looking to him to see where they’re at. That’s why she says “yes that’s it” cause he nodded. he had enough time to process what the operator was saying before Mica was able to answer that’s why she was able to reply quickly because the operator was speaking slowly. He heard the first word and nodded. She didn’t know, but now suddenly she knew? If she was going to purposely take her own life, and she really wanted her body found, why wouldn’t she have found the name of the park before she called to give them proper location?
She would have seen oh look it’s a park and read the sign and pulled into it. She didn’t know the sign because she was terrified because he was with her. She just knows she’s in a park.
I would possibly look to see if there was any dirt roads that led to where her vehicle is at back to Winslow’s property. That might be why she didn’t see a sign. I haven’t looked too much into that part but it’s a suggestion if anybody wants to do any homework.
SO That’s why the phone was put on airplane mode so cops wouldn’t track them into the woods at the site of the incident and he would be able to get away in time into the woods without being seen.
Also airplane mode was turned on while in the car, at the end of the 911 call, I think he took the phone put the airplane mode on which is why the airplane mode was put on because she mentioned it out loud specifically, he knew the cops were coming time to MOVE, can’t follow us to the woods though. THATS why there’s no bird sounds, they did it in the car after they got to the parking lot. I think subconsciously she thought knew this was going to happen. Kinda like I told my family this was going to happen, and then it clicked what she needed to do. He brought the phone with them to paint the picture. Why would she turn off her location herself if she wanted to be found? She was already going to enter her life right? She was obviously not going to wait a long time right? Listen to her voice when it got emotional when she said she was going to kill herself. If she was unsure, why did she skip up in the exact moment? She was almost free, she had fought so hard. When you’re almost free, what would make you think she would want to stop now? Listen to me clearly, he was in the car. She needed to send out a dog whistle to the people she had told she she told him she would admit to the suicide if she could have her body found. She knew she was going to die and she knew she needed to make sure her family could piece this together. Therefore the only plausible answer is he was in the car with her. She was emotionless probably because the gun was already on her, the phone was removed from her because she mentioned the airplane mode specifically he thought they can’t trace us out to the woods, airplane mode goes on. He walked out to the woods. He needed Time to get away and couldn’t have them knowing exactly where he was to go to first so he could escape right after.
Now he goes into the woods by possibly dragging her which is why she has a bruised wrist. That might be why she started crying. She might have tried to get away when she knew what was going to happen or that it was happening hence why there’s multiple rounds. This led to possible yanking, and then the gunshot, which is why the fisherman heard the crying. Then it was over. Put her in the water he placed her belongings and Then he walked back towards Winslow‘s property. I want to know if there’s a phone call between mica and Winslow, was this drive scheduled day of or days prior and gave enough time for it to be planned. I believe at that time he got back into Winslow’s vehicle met somewhere with Windlow switched vehicles again. JP going to his home and Winslow going back to his home. The funeral and everything was already preplanned and scheduled due to the fact they already knew what was going to happen and already had it pre-planned and needed to make sure it was swift and left no room for delay. Her family, knowing they would want to see her, he manipulated them into signing the cremation holding her body over their heads. Taunting them via text message blaming them to create the narrative. Otherwise, what would be the big deal of allowing them to see the body without needing something in exchange? He knew they would have questions afterwards. At that time all they had was the 911 call and a body, sometimes you need time to process. You know when something happens and then later on you’re like wait what? He wanted to make sure that body had no stop on the cremation process to get rid of all evidence before thosequestions inevitably came. He got ahead of it so there was no hiccup in delays because he knew he had to allow them to see the body to the public that would be the moral right thing to do. Not allowing them to see the body would be suspicious. He figured out how to make it work for both. He talks about laying with her body four times and trying to raise her from the dead, was this guilt or was it like when somebody puts a deer head on the wall?
Now remember, she has already been predisposed to trust Winslow. He mentions Winslow in an email to her previously, obviously showing that he & his wife were a trusted friend of hers as well. It’s 100% a possibility that Winslow told her to come up and talk where she was protected and JP wouldn’t find them, and Winslow left with the truck and met with JP and they switched. Winslow south, JP north. Winslow had asked his staff to clean up that overgrowth on the property. It being a wooded area, was this done so that the roadway was assessable for the plan? she probably drove down some type of dirt road, and he ambushed her in some manner. North Carolina Woods are dense, therefore easily to hide when she pulls over.
Now, how do I think that JP convinced Winslow to help, I believe JP convinced Winslow , Mica was going to tell on all of them and ruin their lives. This could have been backed up by the fact that all the documentation that she had previously collected had gone missing, and was brought to Winslow to paint Mica as an enemy so this was enough for him to convince Winslow that their future and freedom was inJeopardy. When JP was actually afraid she was going to tell on his abuse and life and ruin him. So they killed her to protect their life.
They said something yesterday about breaking news how they found that the notary was forged? Thats enough for me to draw speculation because it was done by Winslow that he is now in on the dirty dealings. He is a part of the actual dirty dealings against mica He knows something is being done wrong and he is condoning it.
That notary that was done on the power of attorney from mica was falsely notarized. Mica was not present for the notary. There was an article on earlier I was looking at but I was in information overload. I just know It was not legally notarized. This shows that Winslow does not have integrity. How far is he willing to go to protect JP and all of their secrets?
I think she told JP she just wanted her body to be found for her family and she would go without a fight. I believe that it was a dog whistle to her family. The clue they would need to know this wasn’t suicide. She told them and now she needed them to remember. She knew she was going to die and everybody needed to know about the gunshot specifically that she warned everyone about days prior. He didn’t know she told people close to her that that. That’s why her voice broke up when she said she was going to unalive herself. She did not want to die. She just wanted people to be able to solve the crime. She manipulated him into thinking he was going to get away with this because she is admitting to it being a suicide. Not knowing She had whistled what was going to happen, she needed people to listen. She offered up no extra information during the 911 call which then delayed the process hoping they would find her location. She told her dad days prior she’s getting a gun for protection. I think she got it before she drove up there just incase and the bruises on her hand may be him wrestling it from her. Maybe at arrival.
A search and rescue dog can smell from weeks to months after somebody has left the area, and if anybody can get something of his and be able to place him there in the woods, you have convincing beyond a reasonable doubt.
After writing this up yesterday when I was complete, I got super sick to my stomach. I was shaking. I could see it completely out in my head where all the facts completely aligned. I believe tthis is the only plausible theory there is.
What people need to realize at the end of the day the good attention and bad attention is still attention to a narcissist. He is enjoying the intention is getting from this primarily from getting away with it. That’s why I believe he visited her body four times after she was deceased. Because he already had a girlfriend, he already talked about going and getting a hot wife and then after she dies, he does an interview about how she’s the most incredible wife and supportive. He made the obituary about how awesome he thought she was to still collect her validation and the validation he got from being her husband because she was good. She was light and he was jealous of that. He wanted that that’s why he had that position. She loved him so much he claimed and how she was so wonderful he claimed yet she didn’t want him when she had a no contact order and wanted a divorce obviously, he wasn’t that. and if you guys don’t think he groomed her go to the memorial of life sermon and listen to the poem again. Now switch the words, “school” and “church.” And follow the story line.
He killed Mica Miller.
2024.05.16 10:59 Fabulous-Dentist903 Am I '35F' the asshole for ending my relationship with my best friend L '33F' years old, because of her boyfriend? Apologies in advance for the long story.
Hi Reddit,
I'm a 35-year-old female, and I’ve had a close and supportive friendship with my best friend, "L" (female, 33), for nine years. Recently, our friendship has become strained due to her boyfriend, now fiancé, who disapproves of me.
I've been married for 11 years, which is not conventional. My husband and I are very supportive of each other and have different interests, so we don’t hang out often except for certain activities. His job also makes our days off different. We’ve had some rough times, but we’re working through them, and no matter what we are always looking out for each other and never stop each other from doing what we love.
Because of my chill, open lifestyle, and bubbly personality, L's fiancé views me as a negative influence on her. even thou i know her way before he did.
Her boyfriend has made derogatory comments about me, which she only mentioned after I pushed her to tell me what was wrong. L and I usually spend much time together because we work together and sometimes go to the gym or grab food after work. On weekends, we do other activities like beach or horse riding, and I had no issue with him joining us. However, after a few times when he joined us at the beach, where I met friends for football and paddle boarding, he started criticizing me and my driving skills and the routes I take. Soon after, he stopped coming with us, and L started acting weird. Eventually, I discovered he had called me a “hoe in an open relationship.” and claimed I did not respect my husband or myself because I was too friendly and attract men, which he thought would ruin his relationship with L.
This situation led to a heated discussion and a temporary break in our friendship. I needed to reconnect with myself, especially because she was always fighting with him whenever she was with me, making me feel like a burden. After a months, I felt okay and resumed communication with her, explaining why I needed a break. However, we significantly reduced our activities together (her choice i guess).
L tried to mend the situation by encouraging my husband and me to socialize with them, hoping to show our positive qualities as a couple. My husband refused after learning about her fiancé’s disrespectful behavior. Honestly, I wasn’t ready to socialize with a hater, either. Her fiancé’s controlling behavior goes beyond his opinions of me. He discourages L’s interests, like singing, and displays other red flags that she seems to overlook (which me & others has motioned) to which she fired back that we are not supportive.
Despite L’s efforts to defend our friendship against her fiancé’s attempts to drive a wedge between us, he wanted her to choose between him and me. She claimed she tried to keep everything that mattered, but I was wrong. After our break, we were good for the next six months, even though we didn’t hang out as much (4 times). Whenever we did, she would fight with him and leave early or without saying goodbye, just leaving a message.
My birthday was approaching, and every year as a tradition, L and I have dinner together to celebrate before having a party with other friends. Two weeks before my birthday, I asked her to attend dinner on Friday or Saturday which my husband was to plan for us, she agreed. Two days later, she asked to confirm if it was happening and where. I said I would let her know once my husband confirmed the plans (this is very normal as i inform her always 1 day before). She kept asking the same question daily, which was unusual for her. Finally, she admitted that her fiancé wanted to leave the city for a few days and needed to know if our plans were confirmed. I canceled so she could go with him, but they didn’t go at the end. and that didn't feel great for me.
A week before my birthday, I asked her and other friends to keep their Sundays open for a pool brunch my husband was planning for us. Everyone, including L, confirmed, and she even added, "Count me in +1," assuming I’d be okay with her bringing her fiancé. I was mad but decided to let it go for her. A few days before the event, she messaged me saying she might be unable to come because she had a minor surgery and couldn’t swim. I was shocked she hadn’t mentioned the surgery before and asked why she didn’t tell me. She replied that she didn’t have to tell me everything and that I didn’t need to come. I was mad and asked if it was because of him. She yelled, accusing me of not understanding how much I hurt her by taking a break and moving on, while she didn’t.
She blamed me and our friends for not being supportive, even though we had helped her in the past. For example, she lived with my husband and me for almost a year rent-free when she was jobless only for 2 months. Her fiancé had issues with most of our group despite our welcoming attitude. She kept making excuses and gaslighting us for not being there for her since she got serious with this guy. I listened and asked how I could make things right. She dared to say "I needed to apologize for taking a break to care for myself and moving on while she didn’t". I calmly refused to apologize for taking care of my mental health, knowing how much I had worked on myself. If she wasn’t okay with that, it was her issue.
She tried to be nice the next day, realizing she messed up, but I was a bit cold with her as I didn’t expect her to say those things, especially knowing how much I cared for her and what I had done for her. The day before my birthday, our friend supposed to pick her up before picking me up. When I came down, she wasn’t there. I asked my friend if she was coming, and he said no. I messaged her, asking if she was coming or not. She said yes, but later, as her fiancé wasn’t ready. We went ahead, and three hours later (the brunch is for 4 hours), they finally showed up. Her fiancé didn’t say a proper hello and started complaining about wanting to sit at a table instead of the poolside beds we had booked. Despite arriving three hours late, she had the nerve to ask me to move to accommodate him. I refused and suggested they sit at the table if they preferred.
I saw them arguing a few times, and she kept coming back and forth between the beds and the table. When dessert was served, I decided to join them at the table to be the bigger person. Her fiancé picked up his phone and didn’t speak to anyone. When he decided to leave, he gestured for her to follow him and walked away without saying goodbye.
That was the last straw for me. She seemed okay with his behavior as if it is normal, and there was no way we could convince her that he was mistreating her. I messaged her, saying I didn’t blame him but blamed her for ruining my day and trying to force us to adjust our boundaries for him. She didn’t acknowledge my message. And the next day, she sent me a message to remove my brother’s car from her parking (the car had been parked there for two years without issue). I removed the car and stopped all communication with her and blocked her everywhere. we work with each other, so we are keeping professional.
FYI: This guy has told her in a message that I saw accidentally. Quote his exact message: "you don’t deserve to be a mother if you associates with this people (AKA - any of us), as we have no values and brings only shame and “cockroaches” to her perfect relationship.
I am disappointed and feel sorry for wasting so much time and effort on someone I never knew, apparently.
I want to make sure that i will not look back. hence am asking advice if you think i wronged her in any way?
submitted by Fabulous-Dentist903 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm a 35-year-old female, and I’ve had a close and supportive friendship with my best friend, "L" (female, 33), for nine years. Recently, our friendship has become strained due to her boyfriend, now fiancé, who disapproves of me.
I've been married for 11 years, which is not conventional. My husband and I are very supportive of each other and have different interests, so we don’t hang out often except for certain activities. His job also makes our days off different. We’ve had some rough times, but we’re working through them, and no matter what we are always looking out for each other and never stop each other from doing what we love.
Because of my chill, open lifestyle, and bubbly personality, L's fiancé views me as a negative influence on her. even thou i know her way before he did.
Her boyfriend has made derogatory comments about me, which she only mentioned after I pushed her to tell me what was wrong. L and I usually spend much time together because we work together and sometimes go to the gym or grab food after work. On weekends, we do other activities like beach or horse riding, and I had no issue with him joining us. However, after a few times when he joined us at the beach, where I met friends for football and paddle boarding, he started criticizing me and my driving skills and the routes I take. Soon after, he stopped coming with us, and L started acting weird. Eventually, I discovered he had called me a “hoe in an open relationship.” and claimed I did not respect my husband or myself because I was too friendly and attract men, which he thought would ruin his relationship with L.
This situation led to a heated discussion and a temporary break in our friendship. I needed to reconnect with myself, especially because she was always fighting with him whenever she was with me, making me feel like a burden. After a months, I felt okay and resumed communication with her, explaining why I needed a break. However, we significantly reduced our activities together (her choice i guess).
L tried to mend the situation by encouraging my husband and me to socialize with them, hoping to show our positive qualities as a couple. My husband refused after learning about her fiancé’s disrespectful behavior. Honestly, I wasn’t ready to socialize with a hater, either. Her fiancé’s controlling behavior goes beyond his opinions of me. He discourages L’s interests, like singing, and displays other red flags that she seems to overlook (which me & others has motioned) to which she fired back that we are not supportive.
Despite L’s efforts to defend our friendship against her fiancé’s attempts to drive a wedge between us, he wanted her to choose between him and me. She claimed she tried to keep everything that mattered, but I was wrong. After our break, we were good for the next six months, even though we didn’t hang out as much (4 times). Whenever we did, she would fight with him and leave early or without saying goodbye, just leaving a message.
My birthday was approaching, and every year as a tradition, L and I have dinner together to celebrate before having a party with other friends. Two weeks before my birthday, I asked her to attend dinner on Friday or Saturday which my husband was to plan for us, she agreed. Two days later, she asked to confirm if it was happening and where. I said I would let her know once my husband confirmed the plans (this is very normal as i inform her always 1 day before). She kept asking the same question daily, which was unusual for her. Finally, she admitted that her fiancé wanted to leave the city for a few days and needed to know if our plans were confirmed. I canceled so she could go with him, but they didn’t go at the end. and that didn't feel great for me.
A week before my birthday, I asked her and other friends to keep their Sundays open for a pool brunch my husband was planning for us. Everyone, including L, confirmed, and she even added, "Count me in +1," assuming I’d be okay with her bringing her fiancé. I was mad but decided to let it go for her. A few days before the event, she messaged me saying she might be unable to come because she had a minor surgery and couldn’t swim. I was shocked she hadn’t mentioned the surgery before and asked why she didn’t tell me. She replied that she didn’t have to tell me everything and that I didn’t need to come. I was mad and asked if it was because of him. She yelled, accusing me of not understanding how much I hurt her by taking a break and moving on, while she didn’t.
She blamed me and our friends for not being supportive, even though we had helped her in the past. For example, she lived with my husband and me for almost a year rent-free when she was jobless only for 2 months. Her fiancé had issues with most of our group despite our welcoming attitude. She kept making excuses and gaslighting us for not being there for her since she got serious with this guy. I listened and asked how I could make things right. She dared to say "I needed to apologize for taking a break to care for myself and moving on while she didn’t". I calmly refused to apologize for taking care of my mental health, knowing how much I had worked on myself. If she wasn’t okay with that, it was her issue.
She tried to be nice the next day, realizing she messed up, but I was a bit cold with her as I didn’t expect her to say those things, especially knowing how much I cared for her and what I had done for her. The day before my birthday, our friend supposed to pick her up before picking me up. When I came down, she wasn’t there. I asked my friend if she was coming, and he said no. I messaged her, asking if she was coming or not. She said yes, but later, as her fiancé wasn’t ready. We went ahead, and three hours later (the brunch is for 4 hours), they finally showed up. Her fiancé didn’t say a proper hello and started complaining about wanting to sit at a table instead of the poolside beds we had booked. Despite arriving three hours late, she had the nerve to ask me to move to accommodate him. I refused and suggested they sit at the table if they preferred.
I saw them arguing a few times, and she kept coming back and forth between the beds and the table. When dessert was served, I decided to join them at the table to be the bigger person. Her fiancé picked up his phone and didn’t speak to anyone. When he decided to leave, he gestured for her to follow him and walked away without saying goodbye.
That was the last straw for me. She seemed okay with his behavior as if it is normal, and there was no way we could convince her that he was mistreating her. I messaged her, saying I didn’t blame him but blamed her for ruining my day and trying to force us to adjust our boundaries for him. She didn’t acknowledge my message. And the next day, she sent me a message to remove my brother’s car from her parking (the car had been parked there for two years without issue). I removed the car and stopped all communication with her and blocked her everywhere. we work with each other, so we are keeping professional.
FYI: This guy has told her in a message that I saw accidentally. Quote his exact message: "you don’t deserve to be a mother if you associates with this people (AKA - any of us), as we have no values and brings only shame and “cockroaches” to her perfect relationship.
I am disappointed and feel sorry for wasting so much time and effort on someone I never knew, apparently.
I want to make sure that i will not look back. hence am asking advice if you think i wronged her in any way?